#this one's actually... sort of... part of other pieces... not directly

[noliaert]

some fanart of THE vampire that owns the night🫰

[fuckyeahisawthat]

There are so many places in the Villeneuve Dune adaptations where he just...takes all the narrative pieces that Frank Herbert laid out and subtly rearranges them into something that tells the story better--that creates dramatic tension where you need it, communicates the themes and message of the book more clearly, or corrects something in the text that contradicts or undermines what Herbert said he was trying to say.

The fedaykin are probably my favorite example of this. I just re-read a little part of the book and got smacked in the face with how different they are.

(under the cut for book spoilers and length)

The fedaykin in the book are Paul's personal followers, sort of his personal guard. They show up after his legend has already started growing (the word doesn't appear in the book until chapter 40) and they are people who have specifically dedicated themselves to fighting for him, and right from the moment they're introduced there is a kind of implied fanaticism to their militancy that's a bit uncomfortable to read. They're the most ardent believers in Paul's messianic status and willing to die for him. (They are also, as far as you can tell from the text, all men.)

In the book, as far as I can remember (I could be forgetting some small detail but I don't think so) there is no mention of armed resistance to colonialism on Arrakis before Paul shows up. As far as we know, he created it. ETA: Okay I actually went back and checked on this and while we hear about the Fremen being "a thorn in the side" of the Harkonnens and we know that they are good fighters, we don't see anything other than possibly one bit of industrial sabotage. The book is very clear that the organized military force we see in the second half was armed and trained by Paul. This is exacerbated by the two-year time jump in the book, which means we never see how Paul goes from being a newly deposed ex-colonial overlord running for his life to someone who has his own private militia of people ready to give their lives for him.

The movie completely flips all these dynamics on their head in ways that add up to a radical change in meaning.

The fedaykin in the movie are an already-existing guerrilla resistance movement on Arrakis that formed long before Paul showed up. Literally the first thing we learn about the Fremen, less that two minutes into the first movie, is that they are fighting back against the colonization and exploitation of their home and have been for decades.

The movie fedaykin also start out being the most skeptical of the prophecy about Paul, which is a great choice from both a political and a character standpoint. Of course they're skeptical. If you're part of a small guerrilla force repeatedly going up against a much bigger and stronger imperial army...you have to believe in your own agency. You have to believe that it is possible to win, and that this tiny little chip in the armor of a giant terrifying military machine that you are making right now will make a difference in the end. These are the people who are directly on the front lines of resisting oppression. They are doing it with their own sweat, blood and ingenuity, and they are not about to wait around for some messiah who may never come.

From a character standpoint, this is really the best possible environment you could put Paul Atreides in if you want to keep him humble. He doesn't get any automatic respect handed to him due to title or birthright or religious belief. He has to prove himself--not as any kind of savior but as a good fighter and a reliable member of a collective political project. And he does. This is an environment that really draws out his best qualities. He's a skilled fighter; he's brave (sometimes recklessly so); he's intensely loyal to and protective of people he cares about. He is not too proud to learn from others and work hard in an egalitarian environment where he gets no special treatment or extra glory. The longer he spends with the fedaykin the more his allegiance shifts from Atreides to Fremen, and the more skeptical he himself becomes about the prophecy. This sets up the conflict with Jessica, which comes to a head before she leaves for the south. And his political sincerity--that he genuinely comes to believe that these people deserve liberation from all colonial forces and his only role should be to help where he can--is what makes the tragedy work. Because in the end we know he will betray all these values and become the exact thing he said he didn't want to be.

There's another layer of meaning to all this that I don't know if the filmmakers were even aware of. ETA: rescinding my doubt cause based on some of Villeneuve's other projects I'm pretty sure he could work it out. Given the time period (1960s) and Herbert's propensity for using Arabic or Arabic-inspired words for aspects of Fremen culture, it seems very likely that the made-up word fedaykin was taken from fedayeen, a real Arabic word that was frequently used untranslated in American news media at the time, usually to refer to Palestinian armed resistance groups.

Fedayeen is usually translated into English as fighter, guerrilla, militant or something similar. The translation of fedaykin that Herbert provides in Dune is "death commando"...which is a whole bucket of yikes in my opinion, but it's not entirely absurd if we're assuming that this fake word and the real word fedayeen function in the same way. A more literal translation of fedayeen is "self-sacrificer," as in willing, intentional self-sacrifice for a political cause, up to and including sacrificing your life.

If you apply this logic to Dune, it means that Villeneuve has actually shifted the meaning of this word in-universe, from fighters who are willing to sacrifice themselves for Paul to fighters who are willing to sacrifice themselves for their people. And the fedaykin are no longer a group created for Paul but a group that Paul counts himself as part of, one member among equals. Which is just WILDLY different from what's in the book. And so much better in my opinion.

[psyduckerrs]

something is happening..

Super duper pumped about the new Welcome Home update so I thought I'd share some things I've found while digging around the website.

A side note: I've found that depending on which way I'm viewing my phone (landscape or portrait) I'm able to see things that may otherwise be hidden. Which explains why Home was scribbled out when I was looking before.

First off, Wally seems to be missing everywhere, actually. He's not with any of his friends, his name is excluded in that one png with Barnaby. Everything is pointing to something bad happening in the background.

Not to mention, the About pages for each character. Everyone is normal...except for Wally. He's not looking at the viewers like usual, instead looking away. And when you listen to the audio at the bottom of his page, you hear ringing. No other voices or sounds. Just the telephone ringing over and over and over again.

The website mentions that they had to take down Wally's audio for the telephone toy because of some weird glitches, hence why it's excluded among the others. But seems it's been moved to Wally's page.

Another thing to mention is the name of some of the images. Every other character on their About page is named [Character's name].png. But Wally's is different.

Ring Ring. Just like the audio.

Home is labelled weirdly too. All the other houses are just named 'placeholder for all placeholders' or along those lines. But Home stands out.

'See you together'. Not suspicious at all..?

Now, onto the stuff from the Discoveries pages. When looking at the 'Julie's Guide to being Joyful', the part where Wally shows Julie his painting of 'what joy looks like'. It's completely scribbled out in black paint which is more than a little unnerving. I was also able to see something in the paint. A smile? It's hard to make out but it looks kinda sinister. Not to mention in the audio for the book, there's small glitches and tone changes.

I made the contrast and brightness greater so it was easier to see the face in the painting.

Lastly, the radio broadcast. Another new thing uncovered in the update, hosted by Wally and (sort of) Barnaby. We hear about how much Julie's siblings want her to join their band and Julie's supposed opposition to it, and while it's interesting when it comes to Julie's 'lore', it's not what I'm focusing on this moment.

No, my attention was caught by Wally. He seems to be acting fairly normal. But some things feel off. At the very end, Wally talks to the listeners. Nothing unusual for him. But his last line 'And remember, I love you very much.' just feels strange. It could be me, but in my opinion it sounds kind of sad? As though almost saying goodbye or as if reassuring us?

The image for the radio episode is also odd. Wally's eyes are closed. There's a giant eye in the background. And he's putting a hand to his ear to 'listen'. Could be nothing but ya never know. Personally, it reminds me of those images of Wally listening to Home. Especially with the way the eye is directly above, watching closely. It's as if Wally is 'listening' to something that is telling him things.

And finally, the last piece of weird mystery stuff I wanted to share for today. The way the Question Answerer keeps mentioning a phone. The Question Answerer is the one supposedly helping uncover Welcome Home's mysteries. But when the WHRP talks about the interview with the Question Answerer, this anonymous source keeps referring to the phone and ringing. Which is odd considering that as of the moment, a lot of mystery surrounding Wally has to do with telephones and ringing.

Edit: I'm also just gonna throw in something I found while snooping around the last update. Mysterious white text. Seems like someone is trying to communicate with us? 👀

Anyways, that's all for now. I know I rambled a bit but gosh this stuff gets me excited.

Once again, thanks for everything Clown! Welcome Home is an amazing creation and im sure us fans can't wait for more as the story unravels! :)

[bitchslapblastoids]

Prompted by your post about dnp inviting audience interaction: it /is/ really brave, and so interesting! I haven't been watching them for long at all and one of the biggest things that just drew me in and deeply fascinated me about them is how so much of their work (not just on stage) is in some way a conversation/interaction with their audience and the more you watch the more you notice it. No wonder its easy to be parasocial about them and about the Phandom itself!

To me, at least, they seem to be the sort of performers/creators that need a relatively high level of audience interaction in order to be inspired or for their work to feel meaningful. Like, im absolutely sure they could also create things without this close relationship with their audience but it seems to be what their naturally drawn towards? Obviously the problem has been in maintaining boundaries within that but it seems like that's going better now than at some points in the past, which makes me really happy for everyone!

Sorry about the long yap, this is so interesting to me and I just needed to express it a little

(original post referenced) yes!!! i love this!!! so beautifully worded! no need to apologize at all - i am in such hearty agreement and actually think about this so often. i think the engagement with their audience is their superpower, and it runs so deep. what was one of dan's favorite things about phil before he met him? phil's interactive adventure videos, in which he was creating an interactive experience for his viewers.

when they film pinof1 together, what are they doing? they're answering an audience-submitted q&a. the audience interaction is literally baked into their foundation! <3

2010, dan's uni dorm. what's displayed behind him on his wall? art and letters sent to him by viewers. he films danmail vids where he opens and reacts to said art and letters and personally thanks the senders.

for years and years and years, what's at the end of every phil video? fanart! draw phil naked! (in retrospect literally so weird lol but shhh)

the ongoing avalanche of vyous and younows and tumblr reblogs/follows and responding to yt comments and retweets and and and. so much interaction. the videos directly engaging with twitter and tumblr creations. they see us, they know us, they get us.

their first book? included a double-page spread with dozens of pieces of phanart.

every single one of their tours has multiple essential audience interaction components, and even more brilliantly, with multiple different access points that are perfectly calibrated to their audience. too shy to speak up? send in a submission ahead of time. want to be a part of the masses? shout something out during the audience participation segments! and there's always the likelihood that they'll include fanart in the show itself, casually mention an actual actively popular fic, throw in an ancient phwedding manip, or just build whole segments of the show around our tropes and the world that we created with them. all of that keeps things exciting and engaging on stage, bc you never know exactly what's going to come next. but it also keeps their audience feeling seen, valued, and like co-creators in a way.

When you look at the other britcrew and big yters from the 2010s, they simply weren't generating that ongoing, authentic conversation with their audiences. their approach followed the simple format of: i post, you watch. and then it became: i post, you watch, then i try and sell you something while i call you my 'community' because you are all watching me and sometimes you talk to one another in the comments. but it's not like zalfie or joe and casper etc. were chiming in on the convos too, or at least not in any meaningful way. it wasn't a community in the same way.

dan and phil truly built community. i think communities require mutual exchange, communication, a sense of value and worth, commonly agreed upon truths, shared experiences, touchstones of connection, and leaders who have integrity. i know this is all starting to sound a little lofty, but i really do think dan and phil are good humans who have worked hard to wield their power and influence responsibly and compassionately. they set the tone for us, constructed this world, paid attention to what landed for us, how we responded to things, everything that we were up to in response to what they were up to. they listened. they made us feel seen and celebrated and appreciated, and in turn we continued to celebrate them. they created weird inside jokes, we adopted them, then we all shared the weird inside jokes. they existed, we created our own language and lore and encyclopedia in response, and now there's a whole stage show about it.

that's how you get people sticking around for 15 years. that's how you get people to actually want to spend money on you. and yeah, some more boundaries at times couldn't have hurt. they fostered a sense of proximity and entitlement that obviously put them in harm's way. but i'd say ultimately what they've manage to do has been a net good for them and a tremendous success.

you raised such a good point that it seems to be what they are naturally drawn towards. i think it's because they, too, were fangirls. phil was writing buffy fic. dan was running a lost wiki. they both understood the power of online fan community before they were the titans of their own. they get it, they get us <3

[nyc3]

I haven't seen anyone commenting about something weird on how AFO is represented in the recent art by Horikoshi:

That being the fact this is the "prime" version of him with his face restored, but wearing the final war outfit and maskless. Something clearly not possible in the story itself, as obviously that outfit was gone when he used rewind on himself for avoid die by the fire of Endeavor.

But the interesting part is that this isn't the first time Horikoshi draw AFO in this particular way, mixing his restored look with the purple jacket outfit.

The other time was in that cover in which he's facing Deku (a battle that never happened in the story, or at least not directly against his main body).

In that other art AFO also has a unique look for his mask not being seen in the story, that looks vaguely like it was still broken and almost melted by Endeavor but pieced together again while still being red hot.

Also do you notice in neither of those arts AFO has the rewind effects over him? Considering it was the plot reason he recovered his face in the first place, is a bit weird that the art of Horikoshi doesn't present him being under rewind.

And yeah I know all this can be attributed to simple creative freedom and Horikoshi though mix both designs was cool or something.

But I can't help and make my theories about this.

Can these arts be a sort of "what if" scenario?

As I said before is interesting to remember that Deku never actually fight against AFO directly on his real body, they never even encouter each other in that state for that matter, they only interacted via ShigAFO.

So maybe Horikoshi at some point had a totally different display for the final battle? One that involved Deku vs AFO and a different use of rewind.

Considering in both arts "prime" AFO appears maskless with his outfit intact, I wonder if the real revelation moment when the heroes managed to destroy his new mask wasn't seeing his potato face, but he already got his face restored offscreen.

Which could also explain why Horikoshi didn't drawn AFO with the rewind effects in the art. As probably the idea of him being on a time counter that will banish him wasn't originally part of the story and only was a leter addition.

So in this alternative scenario rather than go back to fight ShigAFO directly, Deku instead for some reason ends up in front of the original AFO and they have a real battle, just as it was represented in the cover art.

Don't know how the story should continue from that point, as it probably would change a lot more of how the rest of the final battle will play.

[kishdoodles]

The Strokes mspaint Collection Part 1/? is done! It's of notable songs from Is This It, and while it's not every song I wanted to get to (I'm eyeing Someday and Trying Your Luck) I'm pretty happy moving on for now :)

Thoughts on each piece under the cut!

Is This It:

Before any other song in the album, I knew I liked this one. A lot of folk hyped Is This It as THE Strokes album and while pre-2020 I could see why, when I first listened to it I really didn't get it. Now with my frankly ludicrous amount of Strokes lore knowledge I've gotten quite the fondness for this album, especially as their debut. I wanted this piece to carry that sense of initial camaraderie the band had, while also sort of foreshadowing both the direction of the band and reflecting what the song's about.

On the surface I wanted a fun way to incorporate the spirit of both the original album art and alt art into a piece. Julian's the way he is here because 1) the general attitude of the song Is This It he affects, 2) at the end of the day he's still the most focused on as the frontman. While they want to think they're all equals in this there is still the sense that everyone's still sort of following him?

The rest I didn't put in that much thought. Albert is directly behind Julian because. They were roommates. But you could argue Nikolai was closer, but hey, turned out the way it did. For me there's a sense that Albert, while not exactly in Julian's shadow, chases the fame and regard Julian has, even til now. In that sense he's wrapped the closest. That's simultaneously also how I feel about why Albert doesn't exactly have bands like his bandmates in solo work, but I digress. He's really only a small part here 😭😭😭

Nick and Fab and Nikolai are really just chilling. I think it's fun to have friends sitting around, smoking, drinking, as they did in the old days. I like to think this is backstage, after a performance. That's really all there is to the rest of this piece. Fun to do overall!

Hard To Explain:

For a piece with as much drive as this song had I wanted something that encapsulated the theme the MV brought of forward momentum, and constant buzz. In that way vehicles were put into play. Travel really played a big part in how The Strokes got where they are now, be it the initial touring around different cities and states, or their big trip and tour to the UK that brought them their initial international hype.

Again, another composition with Julian still as the conductor of this train, but I added nods like Nikolai looking at Albert, Fab recording (hearkening back to In Transit) (Even though in hindsight Nick should be recording) and Nick commenting on it. I still want that sense of how everyone still looks out for each other in the midst of their first craze.

Stars outside the window's another callback to the alt album cover, and the arrows on Hard To Explain is a reference to the clip of arrows originating out of Singapore in the MV (yes I'm biased!) The arrows coming out of Julian is in reference to how he was the link to a lot of them meeting each other (Julian and Albert meeting, Julian and Nikolai's bestie status, Julian and Nick meeting in school etc. I think Fab met him through Nick though) and how, again, they're really following him at this point, especially since he has sole songwriting credit for Is This It.

The Modern Age:

Short and sweet, this is in reference to the music video. The base of the mic stand is in reference to their first EP of the same name. Fun!

This song's here because it really did make the appeal of them as a live band click for me (which is funny since it's a year after I Actually saw them live). Like yea, these guys were here to blast your socks off in a live setting and here to bring good ass music to the people. I did a sort of POV of someone in front row, not really looking at them, just jamming. Nick's pose was one he struck during one of his solos I think, thought it was cute. I like how obvious Albert is from his shoes. I really do believe he owns 19 pairs of shoes back then.

Overall colours, addition of the red is thanks to the EP. That's about it!

Last Nite:

Here's a disclaimer - I don't really care about this song in particular. But I think it's a little too iconic to their phenomenon to leave out.

I'm not part of the generation that catches The Strokes on MTV or any TV or anything, just part of the one that found them through the internet and fell in love. In that sense I kind of did a monitor of dubious origin. Whether it's TV or PC Monitor, I don't know, I just drew a screen.

Rest of the scene is dark to literally be night. A beer bottle I drew in because I found it cute how Julian in the video drank, and probably the folk watching were too. I drew a speaker behind it, but I don't think that's immediately obvious... But it's more to reference all the accounts of people in Meet Me In The Bathroom (the book) about how they played The Strokes on their speakers, and just enjoyed the music.

I could've reproduced any scene from the MV, but I got drawn to the initial start of it. Of when the lights on stage were just slowly coming on but the band itself isn't lit yet. It's fun anticipation, and it sorta fits the mood here.

So yea shoutout The Strokes for giving me shit to watch and jam to even after 20+ years of existing. What an awesome band

[shadamyheadcanons]

Shadamy in high school headcannon

For Shadamytober 2024 - Day 3: Highschool Outcast

One poor anon sent in this ask an eternity ago. I started writing a full story for it, but I lost steam because I just can’t connect with high school romance stories the way I could when I was younger. I’ve been looking for an excuse to share the parts I did get done, though, and I just realized it suits the High School Outcast prompt for Shadamytober, so I can post it now!

Ignore that I’m late for that, too

Fair warning: I wrote this years ago, and I won’t be continuing it. It doesn’t end on a cliffhanger, but don’t go into this expecting any more!

@shadamytober

Amy sat in her math classroom at the start of the year, shaking like a leaf. She stuck out like a sore pink thumb in a class full of “the troublemakers,” as she’d always called them.

“Hey, Pinky, haven’t seen you around before.”

“What’re you doing Friday night? I’m free if you don’t have cheerleading practice.”

“I suck at math, but I’ll still give you private lessons if you want.”

In the process of averting her eyes from the student in front her, Amy spotted him in the far corner of the room: Shadow the hedgehog. A cold pit of unease settled in her stomach.

Of course he’s in this class. As if this room weren’t terrifying enough.

Most people agreed that Shadow was the scariest guy in school. His identity was shrouded in rumors. Some claimed he was a thief. Others said they’d seen him beat people up. Whatever the truth was, though, Shadow was surely bad news. He sat in the far corner of the room surrounded by a buffer of empty desks...and his red eyes were locked on her. She snapped her gaze away and held herself tightly.

It was actually a relief when the teacher started the lesson, shooting a glare of warning at the boys who were harassing Amy. She let out a sigh, hoping that would be the end of it as she stared at the board and attempted to make sense of the numbers and letters the teacher wrote. She tried to sort out the binomials, polynomials, functions, and variables as best she could, but she was hopelessly lost from the get-go. She shook with fear.

Something light hit Amy on the head. She frowned as she opened the balled-up piece of paper that had landed on her desk...only to find that it was a crudely-drawn image of the male anatomy. She yelped quietly, startled and disgusted, and the Mobians around her cackled quietly at her reaction. She swiftly crumpled up the piece of paper with her shaky hands and pushed it off of her desk.

The ruckus was loud enough to draw the teacher’s attention, but apart from threatening the boys with detention, he didn’t do much. Amy peeked up from her notebook and saw Shadow’s red eyes staring at her again. Her lower lip trembled.

She spent the rest of the period trying to write down equations she didn’t understand with a hand that wouldn’t stop shaking from the way her creepy classmates were leering at her. On top of that, she could practically feel the pair of red eyes watching her struggle through it.

Once the bell rang, Amy bolted straight to the bathroom and burst into tears in one of the stalls.

Is the whole year going to be like this?

Amy arrived as early as possible the next day so she could take a seat in the front right corner of the room. I’ll be closer to the door this time, and only three people can sit adjacent to me, so I won’t be surrounded. She nodded, confident in her reasoning.

A wrench was thrown into her plans when Shadow dropped into the seat next to her, having entered the otherwise empty classroom just after she did. She stiffened with anxiety and stared directly ahead with wide eyes.

Why here? WHY HERE?! Literally every other seat is empty! Don’t tell me he’s going to mess with me, too. I can’t handle this!

She whimpered quietly, but Shadow didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at her. He took out a battered notebook and a pen with a chewed cap from a messenger bag that had seen better days, then placed them on the desk and rested his chin in his hand, half dozing off as he waited for class to begin. Amy watched with confusion out of the corner of her eye as she gingerly retrieved her pristine pink notebook and pencil, but he did nothing more.

More students started entering. Amy shrank in her seat and averted her gaze from the ones who had bothered her on the first day. Surprisingly, though, no one said a word to her. Some of them opened their mouths, only to snap them back shut and turn pale before scurrying off and sitting as far away as they could. Amy frowned, then looked over at Shadow. One of the boys from yesterday came up, only to turn tail when Shadow glared at him. She tilted her head, confused.

Is he...trying to isolate me...? She frowned. That can’t be it. He’s not even talking to me. Why bother?

By the time the teacher arrived, Amy and Shadow were sitting in the front corner while the rest of the students were gathered on the other side, leaving a row of empty desks around them. She would have laughed at the absurdity if she weren’t so terrified.

The subject material proved to be as elusive as ever, the equations being just as unsolved as the stoic, unmoving hedgehog beside her. To add to the enigma, Shadow wasn’t even taking notes. He examined the board with half-shut eyes, but there wasn’t a single word on his paper.

Amy rolled her eyes. Why even open the notebook if you’re not going to write anything? Is this guy even here to learn?

Still, it was nice not being harassed by multiple boys who wouldn’t leave her alone. They wouldn’t even look her way now. She decided the silence wasn’t so bad; even if she still didn’t get the math, at least she could focus on trying.

The teacher rattled off some problem about Train A going north and Train B going south at such-and-such speeds, then gave them a few minutes to work on it. Amy wrote down the information she hoped was important and started plugging in numbers to guess-and-check her way through it, knowing that even if she didn’t have the right technique, she’d get there eventually.

I guess the situation today is technically better. Just so long as he doesn’t do anything weird.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Amy jumped at the voice. She turned with trepidation to see Shadow was staring at her, eyes just as harsh as ever. She’d never actually heard him speak before. His voice was low and smooth, oddly relaxing despite his blunt manner and message.

“Well...I was just gonna...” she squeaked, trailing off at the end.

Shadow looked at her for a moment longer, then turned back to his own desk. She let out a sigh of relief, only to freeze up when he ripped a page out of his notebook and shuffled his desk right up next to hers. Her heart pounded in terror at the close proximity. He spoke up again, apparently oblivious.

“You can make equations out of both of these. The ‘y’ value for both is where they are at a given time, the constant term is where they started, and the coefficient of x is their speed. Since we know they’re in the same place for the collision, the ‘y’ for both should match, so you can set them equal to each other and solve it.”

Amy’s mouth dropped open, and she looked back and forth between Shadow and her paper, torn between confusion, understanding, gratitude, and intimidation.

Shadow kept staring. “Solve it.”

Amy hunched down in front of her paper and picked up her pencil. “Okay,” she replied in a small voice.

It took Amy a minute or two, but she finally got it. She turned her elated grin to Shadow. He didn’t smile back, but he nodded approvingly and shuffled his desk back to its original spot.

After another ten minutes of perplexing explanations, the teacher gave them a few more problems to work on by themselves. By the time Shadow had raced through them, Amy was still stuck on the first one. He looked up from his desk, checked her notes, and sighed, almost sounding exasperated, but he shifted his desk back over and patiently explained the processes once more.

With his guidance, she completed the rest of the problems and sighed in relief. He shuffled his desk away to give her space again. She finished just in time for the teacher to assign their homework.

Amy peeked over at Shadow, trying to figure out what to say. Eventually, she settled on a simple “thank you.”

Shadow looked up one last time. Then, he snatched up the paper he’d used to show her the procedures and quickly scrawled something on it. He handed it back to her, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw his name with a number written under it.

“Text me if you have trouble with the homework. Or don’t. I don’t care.”

Amy’s mouth dropped open, and she gawked after him as he packed up his bag and left.

What the hell?!

Amy’s eyes scrunched up as she stared at her homework that night. She’d finished about half of it with little trouble, but she stalled out when the equations grew more complex. She pressed her lips together before turning her gaze to the stray piece of paper she’d folded and kept in her notebook. She packed up her courage and picked up her phone, entering the unfamiliar number with shaking hands. She typed out a careful message and hesitated for a few seconds, then pressed Send.

Amy shifted from one foot to the other just outside the school library. She checked the time and held her books a little tighter in front of her.

A minute later, Shadow rounded the corner and walked directly toward her, looking just as intimidating as usual. She let out a sigh of relief. Thank God Shadow’s here... She scrunched up her nose. Now that’s something I never thought I’d say.

“Thanks for helping, Shadow. It’s super lucky that we have the same study period!”

Shadow just grunted in assent and walked right past her into the library to look for a seat. She frowned. He’s so helpful, but he’s like...this. Nice...but weird.

He made a beeline for a table all the way in the back next to a window. She took out her pink notebook and pencil once more. Just to make small talk, she asked, “Any reason you went for this table? Just curious.”

“The view from the window,” he explained. “The foliage is nice in the fall. In the wintertime, a layer of snow blankets the pine trees, and the pond freezes over. There’s a brief time in the spring when cherry blossoms bloom on that tree over there.” He said all of it calmly, his neutral expression still casually fixed on the pen he was retrieving from his bag.

Amy’s heart thumped. She gulped and clutched at her blouse over her heart. What the hell was that?!

Shadow glanced up at her pose and her wide eyes, then frowned. “What?”

She stayed tense for a moment, then shook it off. “Nothing! So, uh...I got this far...”

Shadow shifted closer to examine her answers. He nodded in approval and started walking her through the rest of the problems with quiet words and careful strokes of his pen. Her frazzled nerves calmed down at his soft voice, his easy explanations, and the muted sounds of the library.

When she had to do the problems herself, though, it was less relaxing. She could feel his eyes on her while she wrote. Wanting to break the uncomfortable silence, she gathered her courage while she erased one of her attempts, then spoke to her intimidating companion.

“So, um...if you’re this good at math, why aren’t you in the advanced sequence?”

Shadow stared down at her shy expression for a moment longer. He suddenly let out an amused “hmph,” though he still didn’t smile. “You know Mr. Robotnik?”

Amy groaned and let her head roll back to look at the ceiling. “Oh, God, do I!” His gaze turned inquisitive, and she smiled sheepishly. “Ah, yeah...why?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “His class was boring, and he was really annoying, so...I amused myself.” Amy tilted her head, curious. He crossed his arms. “He insists on being called “Dr. Robotnik” and gets pissed off if you call him “Mr. Robotnik,” but I was bored and didn’t like him, soooo...I did that. A lot. On purpose.”

Amy’s eyes went wide at his deadpan expression. She tried—and failed—to hide her laughter. She stifled it as best as she could to avoid being scolded by the librarians. Shadow just stared, seemingly thrown off. Once her giggles died down, Amy quietly asked, “Let me guess: he put you in the lower sequence just because he didn’t like you?”

Shadow put his elbow on the table and rested his head in his hand, interested. “How’d you know?”

“Pfft.” Amy shook her head. “I wasn’t always this bad at math. I was pretty good with numbers, but once they started adding letters, they kinda lost me. I probably would have been okay if I hadn’t been stuck with him.” Shadow’s expression changed. It almost looked...sympathetic? Amy decided she was imagining things and continued on. “He’s brilliant, but he’s a horrible teacher. I just kept falling behind, and he was too much of a jerk to help me. Thanks to him, my grades took a nose-dive. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to catch up.”

“You will.”

Amy paused. “What?”

Shadow nodded to the paper and pointed to all the problems she’d gotten right. “You’ve already gotten better. With a little help, you’ll catch up again in no time. You’re a smart girl.”

Amy was stopped in her tracks once again. That’s the first compliment he’s given me. It’s the first nice thing I’ve heard him say about anyone. Knowing it came from someone like Shadow only made it hit harder. A grin spread across her face.

Shadow remained stone-faced as always. “So what were you saying about him not liking people?”

Amy laughed shyly. “Well, ah...you know how you messed with him because you didn’t like him? Uh...I didn’t like him, either, so...” She scratched the back of her head. “I’m the one who got everyone to start calling him ‘Eggman.’ It was just too much fun to see him get bent out of shape! Even if I’d had the grades, he never would have sent me to the advanced classes.”

Shadow’s neutral expression finally broke, leaving surprise in its wake. “That was you?!” He looked her up and down, from the pink variation of the school uniform she’d chosen, to the matching flower-adorned headband, to her cheery, innocent face. “Really?”

Breaking through his façade sent a thrill through Amy’s chest. Mischief crept into her tone. “What, a girl like me can’t have a rebellious streak?”

“Huh.” Shadow scratched his chin, intrigued. “I guess people can surprise you.”

Amy grinned back.

No kidding.

With Shadow’s help, Amy finished her homework just before the bell rang. The two of them walked to class together, drawing more than a few stares. She was shy about it at first, but something about the way Shadow never seemed bothered by how people looked at him rubbed off on her, instilling her with a unique form of confidence she’d never had before. It wasn’t just his flat, unfazed expression, either. It was the way he walked, head held high, never hunched down under the stares he drew. He didn’t even bother to wear his uniform correctly; his jacket was partly unbuttoned, and his red tie hung loosely around his neck.

At last, one set of eyes stopped him in his tracks. The vice principal loudly scolded him for his disheveled appearance. He reluctantly tightened his tie and buttoned his jacket properly, sighing and rolling his eyes as he did so. The vice principal snapped at him about his uniform and bad attitude once more before walking away, her high heels clacking harshly against the tiled floor of the hallway. Amy peeked at his dapper ensemble and examined it in surprise.

He’s...actually kind of handsome like this...

Amy shook her head furiously to try and rid herself of the strange thought. Then, once the high heels were no longer audible, Shadow let out a single chuckle...and smirked just a little bit.

While Amy was still processing the first kind-of smile she’d ever seen on Shadow, he unbuttoned his jacket all the way. He slipped a finger into his tie and pulled out the knot entirely to let it hang completely free around his neck. He even unbuttoned the top two buttons on his dress shirt, showing a white patch of fur underneath it. He put his hands in his pockets and strutted defiantly to class, oblivious to Amy’s inner turmoil. She snapped her head forward and tried to ignore the flush she knew had spread across her cheeks.

Why does he look even more attractive when he’s sloppy?!

A week or two passed, and Amy fell into a routine: math class, homework, getting help from Shadow during study period, then math class once more. At one point, she admitted that she felt bad monopolizing his study hour and offered to pay him or leave him alone, but he just looked confused, so she didn’t mention it again.

One day, Amy was checking her schedule at the end of math class, sensing she’d forgotten something important. Shadow packed up his bag and spoke.

“Library as usual tomorrow?”

Amy opened her mouth to answer, but then she cringed. “Shit...I have a dentist appointment tomorrow!”

“Hmph.” Shadow shrugged. “No school. Nice.”

She shook her head. “No, see, I’m only missing half the day. I’ll be here just in time for math class, but I’ll miss study hour!”

“Ah.” Shadow nodded in understanding. “That’s a waste. You get time off, but it’s a study period instead of an actual—”

He was cut off when Amy took his shoulders and started shaking him. “Shadow, you don’t get it!” Panic crept into her tone as she shook him. “If I’m not here for our study period, I won’t get any help, and I won’t be able to do well on my homework, and I’ll fall behind again, and I’ll flunk out and have to run away and join the circus—”

“Amy. Stop.” At his firm command, she froze. His expression was half-amused and half-exasperated as he gingerly removed her hands from his shoulders. “None of that is going to happen, I promise...especially not the circus part...but if it’ll make you feel better, we can work on it somewhere else, okay?”

At the comforting look in his warm red eyes, she relaxed. “Okay.” She thought for a moment, and her eyes lit up. “Can’t we just go to the library after classes are done?”

“The library closes early on Mondays and Tuesdays. It stays open later Wednesday through Friday, and it’s open from ten am to ten pm on weekends. It’s Monday, though, so we won’t have enough time.”

Shadow stared at her and waited, having rattled off his response rapid-fire. Amy’s baffled look made way for a small smile. “You’ve really got those hours down, huh? You must love reading!”

He looked away and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, something like that.”

Amy thought for a moment more, then shrugged. “We could always just study at my house, if you don’t mind.”

At that, Shadow jammed his hands into the pockets of his school uniform and looked sideways at her. “I’m comfortable with that, but...are you?” he asked tentatively.

Amy looked at him funny. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I—” She cut herself off when she remembered she was talking to Mr. Scariest-Guy-in-School, and that he probably knew that just as well as she did. She smiled and waved it off. “Yeah! For sure!” When he hesitated, she added, “My mom will be there. She gets home early on Mondays.”

Shadow visibly relaxed. He looked off into space, and then something seemed to occur to him. “Oh, but I can’t go right away. I have something to do at the end of the day first. It’ll take maybe fifteen minutes.”

Amy shrugged. “I don’t mind. It’ll give me time to get set up.” And clear off my cluttered desk...and hide all my embarrassing stuffed animals...and make sure I don’t have any weird tabs open on my computer... “I’ll text you my address, okay?”

He paused and shifted his weight to his other foot. “So...how far is it?”

“It’s close.” She typed in the address and sent it. “I normally just walk there.”

She almost missed the way his shoulders relaxed. “Walking distance. Cool.”

Amy nodded happily and put away her phone. “Thanks, Shadow. You really didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Amy snorted. “I still appreciate it, though.” On a whim, she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, just as she did with her other friends.

Technically speaking, it was the strangest hug she’d ever given. He didn’t push her away, but he didn’t hug back, either. He just stood a little stiffly and waited for her to finish. When she pulled away, his face was completely blank, as if he’d never encountered a hug before and didn’t know how to react.

Amy had to hold back a loud snort of amusement at his lack of response. “I’ll see you in a bit, Shadow!”

She dashed out of the classroom, ignoring the confused students around her and still sensing the inquisitive red eyes at her back. She giggled to herself.

We’ll work on it.

Amy shuffled the last of the clutter under her bed and grinned in satisfaction. Good enough! She peeked out the window. No Shadow yet. She glanced back at her desk and the second chair she’d dragged in, and concern briefly crossed her mind. Maybe it’s a bad idea to choose the desk in my room to share with the kind-of-scary guy I barely know. She frowned. Is this why my dad says I have no sense of self-preservation?

The doorbell rang out, jolting Amy out of her thoughts. She bounded down the stairs to answer it, and her eyes bugged out when she saw Shadow there.

I couldn’t see him anywhere two seconds ago. How fast is he?!

She set her thoughts aside and opened the door for him with a smile. “Hey, Shadow!”

He wasn’t looking at her. Instead, his face was turned upward. He tilted it back down to fix her with a deadpan look. “Your house is huge.”

“Huh?” She was thrown off, but he just walked right inside. “I mean...kind of? It’s not really—Shadow, wait!”

He flinched and stopped. “What?”

Amy stepped past him and pointed to her own socked feet and the shoes lined up neatly at the door. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. He looked unimpressed, but he rolled his eyes lazily and slipped out of his own shoes. She nodded, satisfied.

Shadow followed her up the stairs. The humbled expression he carried on his face as he looked around didn’t escape her notice, especially when he stepped into her room and blatantly examined its pink and red decor. She held her hands behind her back and looked at him sideways. “Is everything okay?”

His gaze snapped back to her. “It’s really girly.” She hesitantly opened her mouth to speak, but then he slipped his messenger bag off his shoulder. “It suits you.”

He didn’t look at her again as he sat down. She stood awkwardly, mouth open. “Uh...thanks?” He nodded a little, either not comprehending the weirdness of it or not caring. She shook it off and took out her math homework. Was that a compliment? I swear, I’m never gonna figure this guy out.

The two went over the premise of the homework, and Shadow helped iron out the bits she hadn’t gotten in class. While she was working on the second problem, she broke the silence. “So what did you have after school? Anything exciting?”

“Hmph. Not really. It’s the same thing I do every day.”

“And what’s that? Oh, but you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to—”

Shadow shrugged. “I don’t mind. Sometime last year, a group of guys were bullying this rabbit middle schooler outside the west wing of the school. Teasing her, pulling her ears, shit like that.” She looked up in surprise to see he was fixing the paper in front of him with a searing glare. He shut his eyes and crossed his arms. “So I beat the shit out of them. Turns out she was waiting for her mom, so now I wait with the kid every day after school to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He opened his eyes again and looked up at Amy, who’d stopped writing. “What?”

Amy snapped her mouth shut, realizing it had fallen open a bit as he told his story. Her heart softened, and she smiled adoringly at him. “That’s so kind of you!”

He fidgeted and looked at her sideways. “Uh...beating people up...?”

His uncharacteristic hesitation and movements reminded Amy that he wasn’t used to being looked at that way. She felt a twinge of pain at the idea, but she pushed it aside. “No, I mean standing up for her! Waiting around every day just to make sure she’s okay. That’s really sweet of you.”

Shadow opened his mouth, clearly unsure of how to deal with the sentiment. He crossed his arms again and shut his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. Anyone else would have done the same.”

Amy wasn’t sure about that, but she didn’t want to argue. Instead, she rested an elbow on the desk and leaned her cheek into her palm to look at him more closely. “Everything people say about you is wrong, huh?” When he just blinked at her, she panicked and backtracked. “I mean—! It’s not like—there are, well...y’know, rumors...and you know how people are...” She cringed and trailed off.

He huffed. “It’s fine, I know what people say about me.” He leaned his arm on the desk and turned his body to face her. “People talk. It happens.”

Amy pouted. “Are you...okay with that?”

He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Being the ‘scary guy’ isn’t always fun, but it’s not all bad. No one messes with you if they won’t go near you.”

Amy thought of the empty desks that always surrounded Shadow and the wide berth he was always given in the cafeteria. She thought of his atypical social habits and the way even a simple hug could throw him off. Her heart stung.

Oblivious, Shadow kept going. “And if no one messes with me, then I can protect other people, too. My family. Kids who are being bullied. And, uhh...” He scratched his head and looked away.

Amy narrowed her eyes in suspicion, and then a bright smile graced her face. “That’s what you were doing in math class, wasn’t it? On the second day, when you sat next to me.”

At the reminder, Shadow’s expression twisted just a little in...embarrassment? He covered half of his face with his hand. “Yeeeaaaahhhh, uh...I may have overdone it. You looked so upset on the first day, like you were about to cry...so I scared off anyone who I thought might upset you again...but by the end of it, I’d scared off everyone, and you were more afraid of me than you were of them.”

Amy matched his cringing face with her own. “Was it that obvious?”

He uncovered his face. “By the time we got around to the math part, you looked like you were about to piss your pants.”

Amy’s expression turned bitter at the image, and then she let out a brief chuckle. “Gotta admit, I was pretty petrified...but I still felt comfortable enough to text you for help, didn’t I? That has to be worth something.”

He scratched his chin and looked up at the ceiling. “So you’re more scared of math than you are of me...” He nodded. “I’ll take it. It’s better than I usually do with people.”

Amy wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at that. She chose to laugh, and she considered it a victory when she saw him let out the slightest chuckle in response.

By the time they’d hit the five o’clock hour, Amy had been done with her homework for a while, but she hadn’t asked Shadow to leave, and he hadn’t shown interest in going anywhere anytime soon, either. After plenty of surprisingly enjoyable conversation, though, the alarm on Shadow’s phone went off. He squinted at the cracked screen, then showed a face that looked almost disappointed, though it could have been Amy’s imagination.

“I have to get home and make dinner for my family. You all set?”

Amy’s heart sank more than she’d expected it to. “Yeah.” She reluctantly descended the stairs with Shadow in tow.

Once she reached the door, though, her eyes lit up. “Hey, um...” She steeled herself. “Do you want to, maybe...hang out again? Not just for math.” When he just stared at her, she panicked. “Oh, I don’t mean—not in, like...a weird way, I just like talking to you!”

She didn’t know how to say ‘it’s not a date’ without actually saying that, but Shadow seemed to pick up on her meaning anyway. He stared off into space for a moment, then nodded a little, as if mulling it over. He looked back down at her and shrugged. “It’s been a while...but yeah. Sure.”

Amy grinned, then frowned as a sad thought hit her. “Do you not have any other friends to hang out with?”

He frowned a little. “Yeah, but...” He scratched the back of his head idly. “I used to hang out with my friend Rouge a lot, but then she graduated, and now she’s in a training program to become a government spy.”

Amy made an intrigued noise. “Government spy? That sounds impressive!”

“Hmph. Don’t tell her that, she’ll get a swelled head.” He paused and looked away. “We’re still good friends, but she lives three hours away now, so...I don’t have...” He cut himself off and pressed his lips together. “I spend a lot of time by myself these days.”

Sympathy touched Amy’s heart, but she shook it off in favor of smiling up at him. “Well, I’d be happy to be your friend! What do you say, Shadow?” She held out her hand for a handshake.

He looked from her chipper face to her hand. After a moment, a small smirk showed itself on his face. He ignored the hand and pulled her into a quick side-hug. “Sounds good to me.”

After that, he abruptly dashed off with such speed that the wind he whipped up nearly knocked her over. Her heart pounded at his dramatic exit. Once she’d calmed down, Amy smiled.

It was only a quick side-hug...but it’s a start.

[That’s all she wrote...literally. From here, Amy convinces Shadow to join the track team along with her, Sonic, Blaze, and Espio so he can have more friends, and they become a couple along the way. Some people are disapproving at first, but they come around in time. Shadow’s family is also poor, and he’s very dedicated to his chronically ill sister, who winds up being very fond of Amy. I mentioned a few more details in this post.

Cliché? Maybe, but it’s a nice reminder of how far I’ve come as a writer, I think.

Poor anon probably forgot they even sent this ask. I hope they’re still on tumblr to get the notification, lmfao.]

[loveinisolation]

8x11 coda | a call between Buck and Eddie | 1.3k

Ao3

It’s another two days before Buck calls Eddie. He’s finally got the house mostly unpacked, aside from a handful of boxes of bits and pieces, and it at least sort of feels like his now, even though the idea of it not being Eddie and Christopher’s still hurts more than he’d like.

“Hey Buck,” Eddie says when he picks up the FaceTime call. The video moves dizzyingly for a moment, but then it stabilizes, the device clearly propped against something on the counter while Eddie moves around a kitchen that still looks bare and wrong.

“Hey. How’re you settling in?”

Eddie shrugs one shoulder, and the gesture gives away at least as much about how not settled he is as the subsequent words do. “It’s taking a while. It just doesn’t really feel like home yet, you know?”

And yeah, Buck knows. He had thought it would be easy to feel at home in the house on South Bedford, since it had already felt like his second home for so long, but the moment it had stopped being Eddie and Christopher’s house, it had felt all wrong. “Yeah, I get that,” Buck tells him.

Eddie looks at the camera briefly, their eyes meeting for a second before Eddie goes back to chopping what looks like a mountain of vegetables. He must see something in Buck’s expression because he asks, “House treating you okay?”

“Yeah,” Buck says on an exhale. “Yeah. Just feels weirder than I expected to be here without you and Chris, I guess.”

Eddie nods understandingly. “Feels pretty weird not to be there.”

Silence stretches between them, a little less comfortable and familiar than usual now that they aren’t in the same place. It’s so much easier to understand Eddie’s body language—to know when he can push or when to pull back—when he can see Eddie’s face and read the line of his shoulders instead of being limited to the narrow, low-angled view provided by the iPad camera.

“What’ve you been up to, aside from apparently finally unpacking,” Eddie says, peering at the screen to look at the space behind Buck.

“Uh yeah,” Buck says. He rubs his neck awkwardly. “I went out for drinks with Ravi after shift the other day.”

“Buck, you hate Ravi,” Eddie says with a laugh.

“I do not!”

Eddie gives him a disbelieving look, but then seems to reconsider. “No, you’re right, Ravi just hates you because you’ve been hazing him for 4 years.”

Buck groans loudly, dropping his head into his hands. “Maddie said I needed new friends,” he admits, the words muffled into his palms.

Eddie seems to hear him anyway. “And you figured Ravi was your best bet, huh?” Buck can hear the amusement in Eddie’s voice, and it makes his chest ache a little with missing him.

“He’s part of the 118, he’s single, he seems like a cool guy …” Buck tries to defend himself.

“Buck, you put ketchup packets in his shoes,” Eddie says flatly, but even from this stupid camera angle that Buck hates he can see the corner of Eddie’s mouth twitch in amusement.

“He ended up ditching me at the bar,” Buck says morosely.

“Wait, so you got him to go with you and then he just left you there?”

“No, he uh,” Buck pauses, and shit he hadn’t really intended to bring up Tommy. Not when Eddie had stopped talking to the guy because he broke up with Buck, and certainly not after what Tommy had said. He doesn’t have a lie ready to go though, and Eddie would probably know anyway, so instead he tells the truth. “He actually, uh, saw Tommy and dragged him over and then he left.”

Buck watches Eddie’s jaw work for a moment. “Tommy, huh?” Eddie’s voice is weirdly neutral, like he’s trying to pretend he doesn’t have an opinion but actually has a strong one.

“Yeah. I was, uh, surprised to find out that you guys hadn’t kept in touch.”

Eddie looks over, staring directly at Buck through the camera. “Why would I keep in touch with a guy who broke up with my best friend?”

Buck shrugs, fights to hold Eddie’s gaze until Eddie looks away again, back to his cooking. “You guys seemed close.”

“To be honest, he didn't seem all that interested in being friends with me once you guys got together.”

And, huh, Buck didn’t know that. Tommy and Eddie had spent so much time together at first, and Buck had just sort of assumed they’d kept it up, even if to a lesser degree. “Why didn’t I know that?” he asks.

“You guys were pretty caught up in your own thing, and I didn’t want to make it weird.” Eddie shrugs. “Besides, I had other things on my mind.”

Buck knows that’s at least somewhat true—everything with Kim and Marisol and Chris … Eddie had had more than enough going on without worrying about why Tommy wasn’t asking him to fights in Vegas. The thing is, in context of what Tommy had said, Buck is starting to wonder if there was more to it—if Tommy had stopped being friends with Eddie because he saw him as a threat and wanted to keep him away from Buck as much as possible.

“Fuck him,” Buck mutters to himself, though Eddie clearly hears because he snorts loudly.

“I take it the conversation went well between the two of you,” Eddie says sarcastically.

“It was definitely … interesting. It was fine at the bar, but then he got weird about it being your house, and he said some shit.”

Eddie’s eyebrows rise, but he doesn’t turn to look at the camera. “You brought him back to the house?”

Fuck shit fuck. Buck cringes. “Uh, yeah. We, uh … yeah.” He trails off, not wanting to say it. From the way Eddie is nodding, Buck is pretty sure he understands.

“So, what did he say that made things go from that,” he waves a hand vaguely in Buck’s direction, “to you cursing his name?”

Buck doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t want to say it for some reason. It’s one thing for Tommy (and Maddie, he reminds himself) to think maybe there’s something going on between him and Eddie—they’re not even the first people ever to make those assumptions—but it feels like telling Eddie makes it a whole other thing. “He just said some shit about you,” Buck settles on.

“Oh,” Eddie says. He doesn’t seem all that surprised.

“He said something to you, didn’t he?” Buck asks, beginning to put the pieces together. “Told you to stay away?”

“He tried to. A couple weeks after you started dating he came at me, tried to tell me to stay the hell away from you.”

“Did …” Buck pauses, takes a steadying breath. “Did he tell you why?”

Eddie shrugs. “He seemed pretty jealous of our friendship. I know we’re close, but it seemed a bit extreme, you know?”

“Eddie,” Buck hesitates only briefly, “he told me that he thought of you as the competition.” Eddie stops chopping but he doesn’t say anything, so eventually Buck elaborates. “Like … he wanted to get back together because he thought he had a better shot now that you’re in El Paso.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buck says.

“He knows I’m straight, right?”

“I told him that. Not sure he believed me.” Eddie looks at him then, expression inscrutable.

“Would it change anything if I wasn’t?” Eddie seems surprised by his own question, and he purses his lips in a frown.

Buck doesn’t know what exactly Eddie is asking. Would it change anything for who? For Tommy? For Buck. He thinks about Maddie asking if he's in love with Eddie, and how he had once again asserted that Eddie was straight. If Eddie isn’t straight, would it change anything?

“I … don’t know.” Buck says after a long moment. “But it doesn’t matter, right? Because you are.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, though it sounds just a little less certain than before.

[sivon-acidwyrm-collections]

MASSIVE SLUDGEPOSTING GO!!!!

All of the recent doodles with da sludge/tar, perhaps more written and drawn information for you to know about this thing!

A big ramble of it's lore and behaviour incoming here:

First weeks in the Tar Beach

The Sludge is born from a chemical mixture combined with a meal, unintentionally thrown into the Tar Beach as food. With such chemical reactions, developed the energy production between a particular section of the sludge, creating the sentient being.

It didn't stay for long in the Tar Beach, already looking for anything to mimic as it wanted to move out. To be free and think for itself. And explore. But most of the individuals it has seen, it will struggle to stay stable while resembling them. They're either floating, have such incomprehensible physics it's difficult to mimic them without falling apart, or straight up impossible to impersonate.

Which is why it really took a liking for Ena, mimicking her hungover form. And it'll take this form as it's default appearance, making sure it can be actually respected among individuals.

To be or not to be a person

It always sees itself as a sludge, a mixture of a biological mess and garbage. No matter how much it becomes alike to a person, how much it has grown a mind to be read by other mind-readers, gain an actual reputation in cities, it will always be in it's heart, a Sludge. A tar.

It can call itself both a person and a thing. Being a thing does not dehumanize it, it refers to the Sludge directly. But calling it a person is also acceptable as well, since it thinks, reasons and questions like a person would. Despite it's odd birth and existence, it wants to be among people, to belong and think with them.

The Sludge is in the middle of being a person and a thing, it's not dehumanizing or humanizing if you call it one thing or another. Because it's both. It's also why it will always prefer to be called it/it's. No amount of identities set by society would cling to itself, and it decides what it'll like to be labeled. And it'll be labeled as a sludge in gender and species.

The capabilities of it's form

As warnings are applied to the Tar Beach, it will also be applied to the Sludge. One of those warnings is to avoid swimming in the tar, for the inevitability of the sludge to melt you into nothing to digest your nutrients. One touch is enough for it to pull you down to the depths, melting everything off of you to gain any sort of food it will eat.

It is why it should be avoided to attack the Sludge closely, because it can melt parts of your body with it's touch, feeding itself and removing you bit by bit until there's nothing left of you. And cutting it into pieces is... Not much of a good action. It can continue functioning without an arm, because it's a separate, functioning part of itself.

The Sludge can handle slithering through thin spaces, as long as it's eyes can fit through. These eyes are the most stable parts of itself, usually staying consistent in size and capable of being grabbed. It wouldn't like to have them grabbed, so it's more likely that they'll either float through it's body, or eat you when you try to grab it.

Based on it's rate of agitation, it can generate bubbles and foam from it's insides, sounding like it's gurgling or popping when communicating. These bubbles are acidic, as well as foul-smelling.

Since it is capable of shifting its colors and textures (just enough to not feel like a thick liquid moss), it can form complex patterns on top of it's body, appearing more eye-catching, confusing and even pretty to an extent. Though there's a reason why it looks so simple most of the time: it takes energy to shift the colors and keep it stable.

It eats randomized meals each day, but it'll take a lot to be able to look like it wears a dress or garment, since it needs to make itself more varied in texture and colors, which exhausts it's energy faster. Especially since it's not an enormous amount of sludge, but rather medium-sized.

Being with Ena?

It mimics one of her forms, which should raise suspicion of it's appearance and why it chooses to stay in such a form. It could attempt to take her place, to eat her so no one will know where she truly went, anything to kill her. Yet it doesn't. Why?

It's because it wants to live with people. Not take her place, but to live. To exist. This is why it has no problems being in the same space as her, other than being... A little awkward, since how would the other person feel if they're mimicked?

And it also sees Ena as a person, a being to interact with, with unique quirks, behaviour and experience. There's always something the Sludge can learn from her, as she lived way longer and seen more things than it has done.

It doesn't have enough experience to be properly sociable with people, so there isn't much of a problem for Ena to have other than the occasional, bewildered comments of "you ate the most horrible slop and you were fine?! What do you even eat?" whenever she has the Sludge around.

[rendy-a]

I llove your self aware twt au can I request for a part two of dorm magical? If it's okay to you!

There was never an idea so appealing to the cast of TWST as the idea of having a slumber party in the famed Ramshackle Dorm.  You’d get to actually sleep in that place blessed with so much of the Player’s attention.  When Crowley surprisingly agrees to allow it as a motivational tool for students, the cast rejoices!  Only, what sort of activities do you do at a slumber party in a magical dorm?

Choosing a bed

Everyone knows that there must be a room in Ramshackle that is THE BEST and everyone wants to choose that room.

Only, it isn’t quite clear what makes a room the best.  Clearly, they want the room the Player prefers but how can they determine which room that is?

Each student ends up in a different room.  Each choice is based on some trivial factor, like a board squeaking when they walked into the room, but that was clearly a sign from the Player to sleep there!  In the end, everyone is satisfied that they have secretly been chosen by the Player to stay in their FAVORITE room.

Azul hurries from room to room, understanding the need to quickly assess the value of each and make his choice ahead of the competition.  He goes quickly but still each other student he passes in the halls fills him with worry.  What if he doesn’t find the Player’s favorite room?  No one really understands what the great Player thinks, and you are unable to voice those thoughts directly. 

The anxiety blooms even deeper each time he hears a (hasty and negligent) student yell that they’ve claimed their room.  Why, Azul has barely been through half the rooms.  There is no way some slacker like Ace has been able to divine the Player’s preference faster than him after all his research into your Greatness!  “Give me a sign, please…” he mutters in desperation as he throws open the next door and enters a drafty room with a slight hole in the roof over the bed. 

It was damp and cold inside.  The bed was so waterlogged you might wonder if it was better to sleep on the floor.  Azul lets his eyes sweep over several dust-covered furniture pieces, searching for that hint of presence that would lead him to what he desires.  Suddenly a shutter on the broken window slams into the side of the house.  Azul jumps and tumbles into the soggy bed.  The chill and damp immediately surround him, but he is overjoyed by this turn of events.  “Ha ha!” he laughs joyfully, the anxiety leaving him, “You are so right, Player!  This is the perfect room for a mer from the Coral Sea.”  He flushes just a tiny bit as he mutters under his breath, “You know me so well…”  Then he shouts out to claim his room (the BEST ROOM)!

Making snacks

Everything tastes better when its burnt, right?  They want you to help so bad but you are a house and there isn’t really much you can do about it.  So maybe letting you be the one to decide when the popcorn was done wasn’t the best idea.

Strangely enough, everything does taste better when its been burnt…by the Player!  There are other snacks laid out, but everyone chooses one the Player ‘helped’ with.  It’s the taste of love?

The microwave dings and a cloud of black smoke comes rolling out when Trey opens it.  Riddle tentatively opens the bag of popcorn and pours it into the waiting bowl.  Or at least he tries too.  The burnt mass takes a little coaxing from the two Heartslabyul students to detach itself from its charred coffin.  A cabinet door swings open with a squeaky moan.  Riddle and Trey meet eyes and then Riddle nods.  “Right,” he says as he reaches into the bowl and pops a handful of charred popcorn into his mouth.

Riddle crunches the over-done popcorn in his mouth with a curious look on his face.  After a moment, having been unable to decipher the expression, Trey asks, “How does it taste?”  Instead of answering, Riddle passes Trey the bowl and the vice-dorm leader takes a sample of his own.  The same curious expression crosses his face, as though not exactly sure how the popcorn does taste.  After a silent moment where the crunching of popcorn is the only sound to be heard, Riddle swallows with some effort and gives a small cough into one gloved hand.  Then he offers slowly, “Like love?”  Trey chokes down his mouthful and nods in agreement, “I think you are onto something.  Great job, Player.”  Then he carefully sets a single kernel of burnt popcorn in the open cabinet (for the Player) before gently closing the cabinet door. 

Then they both went in for another mouthful.  It was actually good when you ignored the taste entirely and remembered it was made by the Player.  Quite good.

Games

Finding a game to plan can be a bit challenging.  No one is interested in playing any games that don’t include the Player…who is temporarily a house.  So all games must somehow include the dorm itself.

When Epel suggests 7 Minutes in Heaven, everyone is immediately onboard.  A search is put on to find just the right closet that has that “Player” feeling. 

When the bottle is spun, some lucky student then gets the privilege of sitting alone…in the closet.  But, it’s the Player’s closet!

Ruggie sits down carefully and gives Jack a thumbs up as the door closes, which earns him a deep frown from his junior.  “Keep it decent in there!” Jack admonishes as the darkness settles in.  “Sure thing, shishishishi!” Ruggie calls out.  Then his eyes narrow slowly, he was finally alone with the Player. 

He sits for a moment, unsure of how to continue.  Then, he decides a little conversation might be in order.  “So, you come here often?” he says before cringing.  “Of course you come here all the time.  It’s your house.  Forget I said that.”  When there is no mocking laughter in response, Ruggie sighs in relief.  “Thanks, Player, I knew you’d understand.”  Then he gently runs his hand over the dusty floorboards, feeling their cold smoothness.  Then he stills his hand, placing it possessively over a swirl in the woodgrain that catches his eye.  “Hey, Player,” he says quietly, “Mind if I tell you something a little secret?”  He rubs the floorboard softly, “I think you are pretty great.  I’ve always wanted to tell you that.”

The old floorboards squeak when he lays down, “Yeah, I feel it too.”  Then in a bit of a fluster he sputters, “Say, I don’t want to mess up the moment or anything but…oh damn, I don’t know how to say it but…can I…I mean…well, I’m going to kiss you now.”  When there is no objection from the closet, Ruggie flushes deep crimson and tips his head until his pursed lips make contact with the floor.  Then he smiles triumphantly and laughs in joy.  “That was perfect, Player.  So perfect,” he drapes an arm over his eyes but it does nothing to block out his enormous smile. 

A beep of an alarm is heard thought the muffled door and it is immediately thrown open by a disgruntled Sebek, “YOU THERE!  WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT FACE?  I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU’VE BEEN UP TO IN THIS CLOSET!”

Hide and seek (until morning)

As the night goes on, it’s harder and harder to find games that include the Player.  Even though it is a childish game, the cast agrees to Hide and Seek just because it gives you time alone in the dorm to bond with the Player.

They draw lots to decide on who is “it” for the game.  Silver gets the short stick and ends up being the first “seeker.”

This proves to be a bad decision as Silver finds no one before succumbing to sleep. 

No one cares as each student is perfectly content to lay in their hiding spot thinking about the Player until sleep claims them too.

Malleus wanders quietly in the gardens below Ramshackle dorm.  He hadn’t been invited to the great sleepover (of course), but he didn’t truly care.  Wandering in the moonlight with the Ramshackle dorm (and the Player) looming over him was far more enjoyable anyway.  The wind blew wildly across the field creating a series of creaks and groans from the old dorm.  Malleus supposes this is some form of language you share only with him.  He can’t yet decode it, but he would wander alone for hours to hear you talk so sweetly. 

A single light illuminates the halls of Ramshackle.  Perhaps the students have gone to bed?  He’d certainly not have given up such a precious opportunity so easily.  Malleus stands in the night contemplating the dorm and finally, his curiosity gets the better of him.  He glides carefully to the illuminated window and peers inside.  The main room of Ramshackle stands empty, the signs of earlier activities scattered about haphazardly.  A flickering light draws the fae’s eyes.  Cater lays behind a sofa smiling happily in his dream as his phone continues to play a video where it has fallen, still gripped loosely in hand. 

But where are his retainers?  The thought crosses his mind and takes hold enough for him to choose to seek them out.  Levitating gently to the second story, Malleus peers into a window to see Silver slumped over on a bed.  Some sheets are still clutched in his hand as though he was in the act of pulling them back when he was overtaken by slumber.  Although not in any conventional sort of sleeping form, the way he was nestled on the bed seemed rather cozy.  Feeling a gaze upon him, Malleus lets his eyes drift up to where he can make out Lilia expertly perched on the beams of the ceiling.  Lilia gives him a sleepy smile and a little wave before closing his eyes again, seemingly content to remain where he is. 

One last dormmate for him to check on.  High up in the tower of Ramshackle, nestled in behind a rather regal gargoyle (if Malleus does say so himself) he finds Sebek.  He clutches the gargoyle and mutters in his sleep.  “…Player…hmmm…Malleus-sama!....mmm”  A curious dream, Malleus supposes.  He does understand though.  Being here, where the Player’s presence is strongest, it makes one give in to flights of fancy.  He smiles softly and caresses an old beam.  Goodnight Player, watching over them all.  Goodnight students, dreaming warm in the Player’s embrace.  Goodnight all.

[weebsinstash]

You can totally correct me if I'm wrong but I'm kinda sitting here thinking like

Did anyone actually ever... have a conversation with Bakugou about how he treated Midoriya. Did anyone ever actually like learn more details about how Izuku was abused and called Bakugou out. Did anyone ever actually comfort Izuku for being bullied even one time

Was it ever addressed in any sort of way that Bakugou's competitive and aggressive behavior was a direct result of how his mom is. Did anyone ever side-eye his mom for being physically and verbally abusive. Was it ever discussed that her behavior was inappropriate and is actually abuse and that she's greatly responsible for the antisocial behaviors her son has.

Were any of Todoroki's classmates ever depicted as like, mildly upset at finding out their classmate is abused. Were any of them horrified to learn his birth was literally eugenics. Did anyone ever display any sympathy for him besides Izuku. Did any of his classmates hold anger or resentment for Endeavor or did they think it was ok he kept being a Hero. Was there ever any consequences for Endeavor. Did he ever even like, go to jail, or, lose his job, or was the only consequence that Dabi, the other abused eugenics child who was so traumatized by it all he started basically burning himself to death, lost his life

Did Tomura literally just die without getting to say good bye to any of his friends, who were also victims and most of whom also died. Did he ever get to learn it was AFO who made him kill his family and that it wasnt his fault. Did he ever get any closure for literally anything at all.

Did anyone from the Hero Association ever actually like, get in trouble for the whole "we've been adopting kids to turn into weapons of the state including making people like Lady Nagant assassinate people" thing. Is Hero Society fundamentally being changed at all after all these huge enormous reveals.

I'm just kind of sitting here wondering why, in a conversation about heroes and ethics and being morally righteous, Horikoshi also sort of quietly normalized or, at least didn't deeply discuss some things that were actually pretty important and directly related to conversations the story was already trying to have. I think though it might also be in part to certain Japanese cultural practices where they believe certain personal and family matters should be kept private, but it's just sort of like. Golly gee there's sure a lot of normalizing and accepting of abuse in this supposedly heroic power fantasy manga! I kind of find it hard to believe there's not a single single person in class 1A who doesn't like Bakugou and that everyone is just best friends! Maybe I'm just a hateful bitch but I'd be glaring at Endeavor every single time he entered my line of sight and I'd be outspoken on how he should quit his fucking job and go to prison! Maybe it's just weird I think more students would be dropping out to get jobs that are heroic but isnt actual costume wearing vigilanteism after finding out that the people who are their bosses are corrupt pieces of shit who basically control society from the shadows! Maybe it's just me!

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Secret Secret Chapter 3

OT8 Straykids x reader, ABO AU

Masterlist | Next Part

The next morning, you walked into the building with a pleasant smile, but the receptionist barely even looked at you. You considered the fact that he wasn’t judging you anymore as a win, but the indifference made you pout the entire elevator ride up.

The rest of the morning went by pretty smoothly. You weren't sure if your workload was on the lighter side because it would get harder once actually on tour, or if they were taking it easy on you because you were new, but either way you found yourself nearly done by the time noon rolled around. You were about to go make your way down to the cafeteria for some lunch, but as you passed by the stylist rooms, you spotted a lone figure.

The other stylist noonas must have already gone off to eat lunch, but Maya still remained at her desk. She was leaning against her desk, a forgotten half-eaten apple next to a pile of papers she was sorting through. She looked busy, so you quietly continued on. But her presence reminded you of the promise that Changbin had made the day before, and when you got to the elevators, you found yourself hitting the button for the practice rooms above instead of the cafeteria below.

You were second guessing yourself when you found an empty hallway, shuffling past the first few doors when a quick glance through the little glass windows showed empty rooms.

Maybe everyone had gone off to have lunch.

You had gotten to the end of the hallways when you finally spotted movement, making your way closer until you were pressed up against the door. The room inside was partially hidden from your point of view, but you spotted two men inside as they moved to the sound of music you couldn’t hear through the soundproof walls.

Even being unable to hear what they were dancing too, you were mesmerized by their movement, the fluidity and ease at which they danced along, and even the way they moved around each other like two pieces of the same puzzle. When one of the men suddenly stopped, hand jerking back and forth as if they had just forgotten the next move, the other pointed at them with a wide smile, shoulder shaking, and you could almost hear the laughter from the sight alone.

"Can I help you?"

You spun around in surprise. There was a man standing directly behind you, not only close enough for the scent of alpha to wash over you, but also close enough that you should have definitely heard them coming. That you didn’t hear him at all meant he was either the quietest person on planet earth, or you were just that distracted by the ongoing performance from inside the practice room. You felt your cheeks get warm at the realization.

"Oh, uh. No. Right, sorry."

You stepped to the side, assuming he wanted to get into the room. He just tilted his head at you.

"Who are you?"

You gave him your name without a second thought, but he obviously didn’t react to it. Not that you expected him to. The cold stare he continued to give you made you feel uncomfortable, so you took another step to the side, hoping to edge your way around him and back towards the elevator.

His hand darted out to grab your wrist, stopping you in your place. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just looking for someone," You told him with a harsh tone. It was one thing to be in your space, but the physical contact was drawing the line.

You gave a small tug to your still restrained arm, but he didn’t budge. Your heart rate began to rise, fear curling in your stomach.

"Who were you looking for," The alpha asked, his voice holding a strange sharpness to it. "How did you even get up here?"

You were close enough to smell the harsh edge to his sweet scent, the tightness in his brows, the way his eyes darted behind you in worry. You realized that this wasn’t just some random alpha looking to bother an unsuspecting individual. You thought back to what it must have looked like to him, creepily watching the two boys from the door window in an abandoned hallway. He probably thought you were a fan, at best. You felt your muscles slowly loosen at the realization that you weren’t in danger.

"I’m a staff member " You explained, thinking it would be enough of an explanation.

His eyes darted back to yours in surprise. "Staff? For who?"

"Stray Kids."

In hindsight, you understood the sudden shift in his face. The confusion quickly dropped into anger, and the grip on your wrist rightened.

"I know all the staff members for my group, and I don’t recognize you. Why don’t you tell me who you really are?"

Fuck.

"Look, it’s not like that. I’m new, I’m the new translator. I’m just here to introduce myself to the members." You reached up to your chest to grab your staff card, the one you had been given yesterday, only to realize you had left it on your desk. "My staff card is at my desk downstairs. I can go get it for you-"

"And let you wander the building by yourself? Do you think I’m stupid?"

Your heart dropped as the once sweet scent of maple syrup turned sour, burning your nose. Your pleading was doing nothing to convince him of your innocence, and he looked seconds away from dragging you out of the building himself. Even with the scent blockers and the pheromone perfume, you began to worry that your distress would start to become noticeable, and your eyes burned at the thought of losing either your dignity or your job because of a simple mistake.

He narrowed his eyes at you, gaze darting down to your neck for a split second before the elevator down the hall suddenly dinged, the noise echoing in your head.

As if the heavens themselves were answering your prayers, both Changbin and Chan stepped off the elevator, followed by an unfamiliar face. The leader paused at the sight of you and one of his members, bodies so close together your chests were practically touching, but Changbin seemingly didn’t notice anything was wrong. He waved at you with a smile.

"Hey, you made it! I was starting to think you weren't going to show. I see you've met-" You saw the moment he got close enough to smell the bitter scent in the air, step faltering. "Minho, dude. You're stinking up the hallway."

Minho dropped your wrist as if he had been burned, and it took biting down on your tongue to keep yourself from yelping at the sudden sensation that entered your numb hands. You subtlety tried to shake it out from behind you, giving Changbin a smile of your own.

"Hey, I didn’t want to interrupt any real practice, so I figured I’d check in during lunch," You said, lying through your teeth. You had completely forgotten.

He hummed, still giving Minho a warning look. "We actually just got back from getting some food. I see you met Minho."

Minho gave you a slow blink, and you noticed that as the air once again filled with sweet maple syrup (which mixed deliciously with Changbins own smokey campfire scent, but you were trying not to think about that), there was a hint of regret to it.

You also realized you were still standing way too close, so you stepped to the side, nearly hiding yourself behind Changbin.

"Yeah, I was just explaining to him that I’m the new hire. Just ... wanted to introduce myself."

Changbin placed a hand against your shoulder, squeezing it softly. "Hmm, he wasn’t too mean to you, was he? He tends to be a little intense to new people."

are you okay?

"Its fine, I’ve learned not to hold peoples first impressions against them." You told him, patting his hand.

im okay

"Remind me to introduce you to Maya when she’s not mad. I swear, she’s normally a total sweetheart."

Tropical breeze and lemonade filled the air as the other two joined you. You gave a strained smile to Chan, who was too busy having a stare off with Minho to notice, and then turned to the last male of the group.

"Hi," You introduced yourself with a quick bow.

The omega gave you an awkward smile. He had boyish good looks framed by soft bangs, but his eyes were calculating as he introduced himself as Kim Seungmin. He gave a curious look to Chan and Minho, who were staring each other down, only looking away when Changbin clapped his hands together.

“Right, you’ve already met Chan. Lets go introduce you to the others!”

Changbin opened the door to the practice room, allowing a blast of music and the sound of laughter to fill the hallway. He held the door open, signaling for you to enter, and you nervously shuffled in without waiting to see if the other boys would follow. Once inside the room, you realized that there were 4 boys in the room, not just two. The blond-haired duo were still dancing, although they had now been joined by a dark-haired man in an oversized hoodie, enthusiastically trying to pull off the worm.

You paused at the sight, a laugh escaping your mouth before you could stop yourself.

You immediately clapped a hand over your mouth in regret, and while the three dancing men didn’t seem to hear you over the sound of the music, the last individual did. He was sitting off on the sidelines, much closer to the door, and he looked up at the sound of your laughter.

He blinked at you in confusion.

Minho pushed past you, grabbing a phone from next to the lone duck and turned the music down. The other three boys let out noises of complaint, but once they noticed you, they all drew quiet.

A hand from behind led you forward, and you only had a split second to recognize that the man standing next to you wasn’t Changbin, but instead Chan, before you were bombarded with multiple new scents.

"Guys, this is the new translator." He introduced you to them, his hand still warm against your back. "Be nice."

The mix of smells was hard to differentiate, but as the one on the floor suddenly stumbled to his feet, the air shifted enough that you could tell he was a beta.

"Um, hi! Im Han. I mean, my names Jisung, but you can call me Han. Han Jisung."

The blond next to him bowed, raising his head to give you a blindingly handsome smile. "Hi, my names Hyun-"

"Wait, did you see- how long have you guys been there?" Han interrupted to say.

"Jisung, relax. She’s not the first person to see you do something stupid," The blond who never got the chance to introduce himself said exasperatedly.

"But I’ve never embarrassed myself in front of someone so pretty before!" His cheeks went red as he seemed to realize what he just admitted.

"Wait, are you saying im not pretty?!"

Chan sighed from beside you. "Guys, I said be nice."

"Yeah, to her. Not to this asshole."

"Oh my god, Hyunjin. You're very pretty!" Minho exclaimed.

"Thank you!"

"Now shut up!"

Hyunjin pouted, and Han had decided to hide his still red cheeks behind his hands, which only left the other blond and the brunette next to the door. The first introduced himself as Felix, giving you a tired smile, and the latter waved at you from the ground.

"Im Jeongin, but you can call me I.N.," he said.

"Or Innie," Changbin piped up.

"Or Baby Bread," Seungmin joked. You assumed it was an inside joke from the way Jeongin groaned in annoyance.

"All right, that’s good enough on the introductions. We have to get back to practice, so if you need to go to the bathroom, go now," Chan told the group.

The others let out protests, but you werent sure if its because your meeting was being cut short, or if it was because they had to get back to work. Some of them dispersed around the room to various belongings settled against the walls, Hyunjin immediately pulled Felix back into their silly dance competition, and Chan turned to you with a strained smile.

"Im sorry about them, they ... well I was going to say they usually arent like this, but that would be a lie." He sighed. "But Im glad you got to meet them."

"I still have a couple of other staff members to meet up with. Mostly just the wardrobe and makeup stylists. Changbin offered to introduce me yesterday-"

Changbin seemed to magically appear at your side. "We can go after practice is done. Do you think you can wait 2 more hours?"

"Well, I could probably finish up my work for today by then," You said, giving him a small nod and a smile. "Do you want to meet up here?"

"Nah, Ill come get you. Most of the stylists work on that floor anyways."

"Right."

As Changbin and you talked, from across the room, Minho called out for Chan. The leader turned slightly, but he hesitated to go. You could tell he wanted to say something, but it probably wasnt something he could bring up with his members nearby, and you werent sure you wanted to talk about it right now. You didnt want to think about the tension that still lingered between you.

So before he could ask you to talk later, or invite himself to your tour that afternoon, you bowed to the two boys and then said your goodbyes to the rest of the room.

Only a handful of them said goodbye in return, the other half occupied.

You made your way down to the now mostly empty cafeteria, deciding to get something to go and eat while you worked, since you had used up your lunch time talking to the group. With a moment of thought, you grabbed a second plate.

Once back onto your floor, you weaved past people who had gotten back from their break, the noise startling from the silence you had experienced before. As you passed by the room where Maya usually worked in, you took a second to wave at the blonde haired girl you never got the name of, and walked over to the messy desk.

"Maya?"

The girl in question looked up at you with a confused look, eyes widening when she recognized you.

"I noticed you didnt have time to get lunch earlier, so I brought you some food," You said. "If you want it," You quickly added.

Maya pouted adorably. "Oh my god, thank you. You didnt have to do that."

"I wanted to."

She accepted the plate you offered her, and after a second to properly place it on a free space so it wouldnt fall off, she jumped to her feet and gingerly wrapped you in a surpringly warm hug. The smell of honey and feeling of love surrounded you.

"Thank you, so much. And I want to apologize, for the way I treated you yesterday. I know it isnt an excuse, but I was tired, and so I wanted the conversation to end, and I knew if I was snappy it would scare you off-"

"You dont have to explain yourself-" You cut her off with a giggle. She joined you.

"But again, thanks. i want to make it up to you, both the being mean and the food." She looked down at her watch. "I dont have time right now, but maybe we can get coffee someday? Get to know each other properly?"

Her soft smile was contagious. "Of course. I'll see you later."

As you made it back to your desk, you found yourself pleasently calm and relaxed. The betas scent did wonders for your omega, even hidden as she was, and you could barley even remmber the earlier panic and distress that you had felt.

That was until Changbin dropped by to get you.

It was almost 2 hours exactly on the dot that he appeared next to your desk, leaning against the edge to look over the words on your screen. You laughed at the bewildered face he made.

"Is that Japanese?"

"Yup. Its for the announcement of your world tour. I have to translate it to english next."

"Wah," Changbin shook his head. "Thats so cool. Just how many languages do you speak?"

"Hmm, how many do you think I speak?" You teased, watching him closely.

Changbin's eyes darted from the computer screen to your face, brows coming together for a second as he considered your question. He titled his head to the side, and strands of dark hair fell right in front of his eyes. On instinct, you found your hand darting up to brush them out of the way, hand bumping into his own as he moved to do the same.

"Five."

You both jolted at the sudden voice that came from behind Changbin, and you nearly groaned audibly at the sudden recognizable scent that hit your nose. You had been worried that Chan might have tried to tag along, but you didnt even think Minho showing up would be a possibility.

Apparently, Changbin hadnt either.

"Hyung? I thought you stayed back with Felix to work on something."

Minho shrugged. "I told him we could work it out later. He didnt argue."

You both stared at the alpha as if expecting him to elaborate more (perhaps explain what he was doing there), but he didnt. Changbin let out a cough which then turned into an awkward laugh.

"Right. Well, I promised you a tour-" Changbin held out his arm to you, and you took it with a giggle.

"Thank you, kind sir."

He beamed, and Minho watched you two with a blank face as you made your way passed him. You pretended not to notice as he followed the two of you as you made your way down the hallway, close enough that you could hear his footsteps, which made your omega want to bare their teeth.

Changbin also didnt react, which made you wonder if the alphas behavior was normal for him, or if he just didnt want to bring it up.

You decided to ignore Minho in exchange for trying to learn the names of the four makeup stylists Changbin introduced you too, as well as the the other two wardrobe stylist (as you had already met Maya). Most of them were busy when you were introduced, and while they all gave you a smile and a nod of acknowledgement, you figured most of them wouldnt remember your name either.

One makeup artist did capture your attention from the way she flushed when she noticed Minho. Her name was Minji, and she was apparently Felix and Hyunjin's makeup artist. She had acted fairly normal and almost playfully with Changbin, so you wondered if she had a crush on the dancer for her to suddenly get so shy.

Minho didnt offer anything more than a nod to her as he trailed behind you two, and you found yourself thinking she could do better.

"Thats everyone. Of course, theres also Maya, but you already met her."

"How come you have 4 makeup stylists, but only 3 wardrobe stylists?"

Changbin paused outside the elevators. "Hmm, well the makeup artists have designated members they work with, but wardrobe kind of all have to coordinate the entire group with each other. Having less stylists makes it easier for them."

You nodded your head. "I guess that makes sense."

The two of you got on the elevator when it arrived, and you gave an unamused look to Minho as he casually followed, leaning against the opposite wall to you. Changbin gave the alpha an equally unimpressed look.

"Hyung, what are you doing?" He asked.

Minho raised his eyebrows. "Im not doing anything."

"You're being wierd."

"I dont know what you're talking about."

Changbin let out a sigh. "Minho-"

"I wanted to apologize," Minho interrupted, crossing his arms, and to your surprise, began pouting.

"Apologize for what?" Changbin asked in confusion.

"Not to you!"

You flushed under the sudden combined weight of both mens gazes. The elevator opened, and a random staff member you had never seen before entered, two floors before the lobby. The elevator was suddenly filled with silence, and realizing how awkward the conversation would get if you stayed, you ignored the boys until the moment the doors opened.

You turned to Changbin with an apologetic smile. "Thanks for the tour Bin. I'll see you later."

The rapper stuttered, and you heard Minho call out to you, but you booked it out to the lobby and practically slammed through the front doors.

Neither of them followed you.

-0-0-

Hands against your waist, lips pressed softly to your cheek. Your head felt heavy. Arms moving to lock themselves around you, chest pressed against your back. There was a presence in front of you, eyes soft and loving, but there was a voice whispering softly in your ear from behind.

"Tell us what you want"

You woke up with wet cheeks, your chest aching. You took in a deep breath, but it felt like someone was sitting on top of you. With your head still fuzzy, half asleep, you pushed yourself onto your elbows. You felt like you had just lost something important.

When you slid into Sooyoung's bed, she only cracked open one eye. "You okay?"

"Nightmare," you lied.

You didnt know how to explain to her that you had a dream so full of hope and love that it hurt you to wake up and realize it was just a dream. You didnt know how to explain that you couldnt even remember what the dream was about.

She hummed, pulling your head down so your nose pressed against the crook of her nose. It smelled like freshly made croissants, a strong but homey scent. The calming protection and reassurance of her alpha had your omega placated, head clearing and chest relaxing as you breathed in.

But you still found yourself wishing the scent was different.

[icallhimjoey]

Lost & Found

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader    

Summary: You take a little break, a week away to somewhere warm to relax and calm your senses. So does Joe – same flight, same hotel, same travel plans and, worst of all, same suitcase. What was meant to be a lovely trip to the sun starts off on the wrong foot when you find expensive designer outfits belonging to a man in what you thought was your suitcase.    

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, lots of swearing, we get a little spicy but nothing too bad, 18+ just in case though!    

Author’s note: so, i wrote half of this severely sleep-deprived and half of this whilst feeling unwell, so... i don't know man, i hope that i tied it all together somewhat coherent for you all and that you enjoy! comments, likes, messages, reblogs etc. all highly appreciated, thanks!

Wordcount: 4.4K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

The door fell into its lock behind you and the eye-contact was not something you wanted to be the first to break.

Nothing happened for a second. You just stood close in your silent hotel room and looked at each other. You tried to focus on breathing at a normal pace which seemed, no, was an impossible task.

Had you ever really noticed what Joe’s eyes looked like? 

You had.

But like this? 

Yea, you had, actually.

Hey, fuck you, don’t judge. See them up close first before calling someone crazy.

You had noticed his eyes. You’d noticed lots of things about him, but his eyes? There was something about his fucking eyes and he was looking back at you now, his moving between yours, and oh my God, how long were you just going to stare directly into each other’s eyes like this?

It was nearing uncomfortable when suddenly you saw his eyes shoot down, past your lips, down your body, and then back up.

“Do you…” Joe started, voice low and soft, but he didn’t finish the sentence. You tried guessing what it could have been, what he was about to ask, but you couldn’t think straight.

Not with Joe so close and the energy all thick and crackly.

Were you even breathing at all at this point?

Seconds passed, but it felt like minutes did when you suddenly felt how your whole body swayed forward. Nearly into him. So very nearly.

You swallowed, and then so did Joe, and why the fuck was no one doing anything?

His eyes moved again, but past you now. Over your shoulder. And then he reached. Leant closer to you as he reached an arm behind and opened the door to the bathroom. It made you step back a little, which was just right, because that was where Joe wanted you. The faint excuse of sand everywhere, of barely sunburnt pulling skin, of salty seawater that left your legs somewhat sticky, all enough to pull you into the bathroom for a shower.

No words were shared at all when you stepped inside. You watched as Joe turned the shower on, knew how it worked because his hotel room had the exact same one, and when Joe started undressing, you followed without question.

It wasn’t weird.

You tried to think of reasons of why it wasn’t weird, but you couldn’t come up with anything quick enough.

You decided that maybe you were just weird and the situation was maybe sort of the same amount of weird for everything to feel normal.

Well. Semi-normal, at least.

It was fine.

You were undressing in your bathroom and this time Joe was in the room with you instead of just outside, sat on a chair, listening carefully to make sure you didn’t collapse.

Steam started filling up the room when you stepped out of your bikini bottoms and for a second you forgot that this was likely not going to be an actual shower shower, but more just a sexy excuse to touch each other all over.

Just like you’d done the day before when Joe had been sat on a chair outside the bathroom door, you collected your bikini to rinse out in the shower.

Resourceful type of shit. Like your mother had taught you.

This time however, it wasn’t just your two-piece that you picked up off the floor; you also found Joe’s swimming shorts.

You didn’t realise that maybe this was a little strange when you stepped into the hot stream with all of it in hand and heard Joe huff in silent laughter.

“It’s just, I always, you know... to get them clean,” you said, holding all of it under the water, focussing on getting every inch of every item wet. It was nice to have a job to direct your focus, something to keep your hands and eyes busy and not, you know, with the naked man who was stood right behind you.

Your shoulders were the first thing two cold, only cold because the water was hot, large hands touched of you.

For a second you thought he was going to stop you like he would stop you from biting at your fingernails, but instead, his hands trailed up a bit until they touched your neck and then went down your back a little to the spots where he’d paid close attention to sore muscles the day before.

Pressing both thumbs into the flesh there worked like a reset button, it was almost embarrassing how fast your body folded.

Your head fell forward, and your arms dropped down. You went as lax as you could standing up still, and it got another soft chuckle from Joe.

Next thing you knew, the swimming garments were taken from your hands and hung over the glass shower screen before hands found your shoulders again. Before strong fingers pushed and kneaded the sore spots that needed it so.

Hot water.

Naked skin.

Hands doing exactly what you wanted them to.

Shit.

Yea, you'd been after intimacy, but you kind of expected that whatever you'd been after wouldn’t made you... oh, you know, feel things.

Just taking deep breaths wasn't enough to push down whatever was trying to make its way out of you.

It was confusing and silly - you wouldn't even let yourself come close to this on your own, by yourself, but now, here, completely in the nude with another person in the shower with you, this was the right time for emotions to let themselves be known?

No.

Not on your watch.

You scrunched up your forehead as much as it was willing to wrinkle from all sides, eyebrows doing the most, because if you didn’t, your lip would wobble, mouth showing all the emotions that resided on the inside. You didn’t even think they were real emotions to begin with - you were just tired. But a big pout and a quivering chin were things you couldn’t control, were things that would just do whatever by themselves and there was no stopping them. 

Couldn’t have that, could you?

So you redirected it to the top-half of your face. Sure, it made tears spill faster, but somehow that felt fine. There was water there already anyway, the shower a perfect coverup for them. You’d rather it be this. This was prettier and felt controlled, easier to hide.

It wasn’t, though.

It took no time for you to be fucking shaking all over.

Trying to control the shaking only made it worse. And it got worse fast. Especially when you turned and you saw how Joe reacted to what he saw. Copied it. Knitted his eyebrows together like yours were and created a whole crumply mess on his face and, had you mentioned his eyes already?

You had.

Fucking stunning. Absolutely beautiful.

They weren’t helping.

This was meant to be a sexy shower for fuck’s sake.

If you could just. 

Relax.

Have a drink.

Ignore whatever stirred inside.

That’d be perfect.

You took a few deep breaths through flared nostrils that you let out through your mouth and, there you went. It worked a little. Forehead stayed scrunched, just in case, but you felt yourself relax a little. Felt heavy shit ebb away a little.

“This is why, you know that, right?” 

The hurt turned into confusion. Was only a minor change.

“If you’re going to keep pushing it down, it’ll affect you physically,” 

You snorted. Hid the way you knew he was right with a laugh. Tried to turn it into jokes.

“Okay, doctor,” 

But Joe didn’t laugh. Just swiped your hair from the front of your shoulders to your back before using large palms to push it back from your face too.

“What’s plaguing you?” He spoke so softly, you barely heard it over the clatter of shower water that hit the tiles in streams from both your elbows. 

“I’m fine, it’s just… it’s just work,” 

Joe didn’t respond to your answer at all. Just kept wiping hands near your hairline, in turn smoothing out all the lines of worry you’d etched in there. It made you grab onto his wrists to stop him. 

He did stop, but didn’t move, and then you just stood like that a second with your forehead all smooth and you had to close your eyes because the shower water was running directly into them.

The fact that joe was staring down into your soul went ignored because it was just easier if you didn’t think about being so seen.

“I don’t…” you started, stupid lip wobbling once more because Joe’s hands prevented you from redirecting everything, “I don’t want to cry.” 

“If you’ve got to cry, you’ve got to cry.” 

“I’m just, I’m tired and that fucks with everything, doesn’t it?” 

You kept thinking there was going to be a moment where Joe would laugh. Chuckle or softly snicker or even exhale a little louder than usual, but he never did.

Just stayed silent.

Watched what your face did and rubbed a thumb across where he saw you try to frown.

“What if I don’t stop?” 

“Crying?”

“You didn’t come up here to have me cry in the shower for ages,” you laughed at yourself and then groaned loudly, all frustrated. “God, you must think I’m so fucking weird,”

Joe reached and had a squint at the tiny cursive letters of whatever small tube he picked up.

Shampoo.

Nice.

He flicked it open with his thumb and said, “Well, in my defence,” which made you laugh. “I never thought that the girl I met wearing my clothes wasn’t at least a little strange,”

He was right. You hadn’t once tried to sell to Joe that you were normal. Which was actually sort of perfect. Made you feel less bad about your laughter turning into a weird choked sob when Joe got started on washing your hair.

Made you feel less bad when you apologised, and Joe held your whole head, wide hands splayed fingers from your jaw back to the base of your skull, and forced eye-contact when he said to stop apologising already.

Made you feel less bad when you, through teary laughter, commented on the lack of sex appeal you'd dragged into the shower, that hadn’t been the intention at all, and Joe just said, “We got time.”

Made you feel less bad when, after Joe turned the shower off, all you wanted to do was curl into the white fluffy dressing gown and flop down onto the bed, ready to pass out.

Because you hadn’t lied. You were tired.

Joe let you nap there after watching you run your hands over the covers, murmuring something about clean sheet day before you drifted off.

And, listen.

Yea, Joe hadn’t expected for any of this week to go the way it had gone so far. He’d intended for the trip to be a little break from work, to simply get his mind off of everything going on at home by sleeping in, and by reading books, and by swimming slow laps in the hotel pool for however long he wanted.

Well.

He’d barely even touched the book he’d brought, hadn’t swam a single lap in the hotel pool but! But! Had this... had all of this not taken his mind off of everything?

It had.

Joe hadn’t thought of work, of his schedule, of auditions and of lines he had to learn - he hadn’t thought of any of that once.

And he got to help someone.

Well, not just someone.

You.

He got to make you laugh, got to make you eat, got to make you relax. Got to hold you as you slept. Got to touch you in the shower. Not... not in all the ways he’d wanted to. Yet. But he’d been forward about it. Said there was time still. Which, there was. He’d only met you three days ago, which, was that right? Joe had to count using his fingers to check, because didn’t that feel like weeks ago already?

And sure, you kept saying sorry for being a burden, kept telling him he was free to go whenever, you didn’t want to ruin his trip, you know?

But how was he going to tell you that, actually, this was exactly right for him right now? Have his focus be on someone else entirely instead of on himself for a second?

And the answers were so easy too, weren’t they? All basic shit.

You woke up about an hour later with your feet in Joe's lap, left foot in his hands, slowly kneading as he watched TV.

You looked up, stirred a little, felt a little dazed. Took you a second to realise where you were. Who was there with you. Who was holding your foot.

“Hey,” Joe smiled lazily at you, and for a second, he thought maybe this was too much. Maybe he’d overstepped. You’d fallen asleep in your bed, naked body wrapped up in fluffy white, and Joe’d just sat down next to you. Turned on the TV, volume all the way down, like he was in his own hotel room, and when you started twisting and turning a little, he’d taken hold of your feet. Hoped that his grip would ground you in some way.

He thought it had done, because for the rest of your nap you’d barely moved at all.

For about ten minutes, your feet had just laid there. On his lap. You had nice feet, Joe thought, you know, as far as feet went. Nice legs too. Bruised a bunch, sure. Scraped from where you’d fallen, kind of similar to your face, but nice none the less. Eyes traveled up more, and that’s when Joe saw.

He tried not to see. Actively tried his bestest best not to look.

You’d cried over things you didn’t know how to explain and maybe... maybe Joe should’ve left after. Or, at least, maybe Joe shouldn’t have sat down and dragged your feet onto his lap because now, one wrong move and you'd flash your full vagina for the whole room to see.

Joe could already sort of see it now anyway, but he was actively not looking and massaged a foot to keep himself busy.

Don't look, man.

Stop.

Stop looking.

It took you ages to slowly stir awake again. And what a way to wake up. What a view to wake up to.

Joe was sat against the headboard, just in his T-shirt and the remnants of a towel that had been tied around his waist before he’d sat down.

Slow and sleepy, you sat up, and it made Joe try to protect your modesty by going, “Oh, your… the dressing gown– you, it’s ridden up, it’s–”

It was of no use, because you paid your dressing gown no mind, no matter how much of you got exposed. It was time for bits being exposed, you thought.

You moved from sitting up onto your knees, feet sliding from Joe’s lap as you did, your hair all sleep-messy and eyes barely open.

“What are you…?” Joe asked softly, but didn’t finish his question because he knew exactly what you were doing as you inched closer, hands finding his shoulders to hold as your knees dented the mattress either side of him. You lowered yourself onto his lap, your warmth sinking into his, and you grinned. Hummed in satisfaction. There was plenty of fabric in between the two of you – the sheets, Joe’s towel, your dressing gown – but it was all easily removed, one simple swipe away from connecting skin to skin.

“Hi,” Joe softly whispered as you leant closer, and he seemed unsure on if he should sit up a little or not, his hands unsure of if he should touch you a little or not.

Was sort of endearing.

Man had taken a whole shower with you and now didn't know if it was all right to touch you.

So, you helped. Took hold of his hands and guided them to your waist, more towards your back, and when you leant down enough for Joe to tip his chin up and kiss you, his arms did exactly what you wanted them to do as they tightly wrapped around.

Yes.

Exactly.

This was exactly right.

You’d cried, you’d slept, you’d gotten your hair washed and you’d gotten your feet rubbed and now, you wanted to kiss the boy.

And kiss the boy you did.

Well. You kissed him for maybe three seconds. After that, the boy was kissing you.

The dressing gown was tied loosely enough for it to come undone when Joe grabbed two fistfuls of fabric at your back and had Joe not looked at your flesh for long enough now?

The feel of the bare skin of your chest was enough to quickly lose his T-shirt.

The feel of his mouth on your neck was enough to fight your way out of the dressing gown entirely.

You’d never had sex quite like it.

Quite so slow. Quite so loving and so tender, and you know you couldn't stop thinking about his eyes, but maybe Joe had to stop making so much eye-contact if he didn't want you thinking of them all the time, you know?

And Joe was just helping, wasn’t he?

Get your mind empty.

Undo you of stresses that had no right squatting in your muscles like that.

Make you feel good, the way he knew how.

Just helping.

And it did help.

Joe helped when he had almost agonisingly slow sex with you in your hotel room.

Joe helped when after, he suggested going down to his hotel room to enjoy room service in his bed, because hadn’t you said something about clean sheet day earlier?

Joe helped when he let you choose his outfit for the next day and laughed at how you kept scrunching your nose at the selection of clothing items he'd brought. Honestly, what the fuck had he been thinking?

Helped when he just smiled and shrugged and wore whatever you’d laid out for him.

Helped when he told the host downstairs at the restaurant that your seperate reservations for one were to be merged into reservations for two because you’d be having the rest of your meals together now.

Helped when he made sure you had water after having a fruity cocktail by the pool which he made you sip before helping you into the freezing water that hurt your bones, it was so cold.

Helped when he just let you hang onto him in there, arms around his neck and legs around his waist, as he waded through the water for a bit, sun on his back and bright on your face.

Helped when he searched for your wrist again in the night and felt for your pulse, and you'd gone, “You know I’m not— you don’t need to,” and Joe’d quietly replied, “No I know,” before adding, “Is just nice.”. 

Helped when he let you wear one of his jackets once more when you went for drinks up at the rooftop on your last night there and wouldn’t stop commenting on how good it looked on you on the back-end of soft sighs.

You knew just this one week away wouldn’t fix all the things wrong in your life. Knew they’d just be waiting for you when you’d get back home. But, man, spending half this trip with Joe had made you temporarily forget about a lot of the bullshit, and wasn’t that why your boss had sent you away in the first place?

Joe had helped.

The skin around your fingers had started healing enough for it to no longer look like you dipped the tips of them into acid on the reg.

Joe had helped you beyond belief.

And so when the day arrived on which you both would be going back home, an unsaid solemnity hung in the air that the both of you tried your very best to ignore.

It was okay.

You were taking the same flight home, so your time together wasn’t over when you checked out of the hotel. And you’d exchanged numbers, said you’d both be busy the second you'd set foot back in London, but you’d keep in touch. It was a casual agreement of which you knew that potentially, it’d never actually happen.

Just a polite nicety, because what kind of rude person wouldn’t say something like that after the week the two of you had had?

But you weren’t dense.

When you arrived at the airport, you had a weird sort of more heartfelt goodbye moment in the back of your shared taxi. Where there were no other people to ogle and you didn’t feel so weird because, you really weren’t anything together, the two of you, and saying goodbye at airports was an activity strictly set aside for couples, wasn’t it?

Before you moved to get out of the backseat, Joe’d knocked your knee with his to get your attention. The look in his eyes had made you use both arms in a hug that grew tighter and lasted longer than you expected it would have. Then just a peck to your cheek, followed by a quick one to your mouth and a smile.

You didn’t sit remotely close to each other on the plane, couldn’t even see each other from where you were both sat. You kind of handled it like a big girl and told yourself this was just the transition back into the real world where you didn’t know each other at all.

Your week together could just be that. Your week together. Full stop.

It took you the whole flight back to convince yourself you were okay with that.

Joe could just exist as the bits of arm and leg in the corners of pictures of cocktails and nice meals in your camera roll.

That was it.

The week was over and done and Joe was part of your past now.

Except he fucking wasn’t, was he?

You’d forgotten there was a whole airport you needed to get out of before you'd actually part ways, and you only realised that Joe would still be in your vicinity when you looked up from your phone at the baggage claim carousel and looked him right in the eye. He was stood on the other side, the very end of the round all the checked luggage made before it’d disappear and loop back again.

You couldn’t help a smile. This is where you fucked up a week ago. At the baggage claim. You’d grabbed Joe’s suitcase and he’d grabbed yours and now, here you were. Second try. Were going to get it right this time.

Joe returned your smile and it was cute. He grew bashful and looked at his feet before biting into his lip and turning himself back into waiting-man-by-baggage-carousel, face serious and a little tired from the flight. He looked just like the business man you thought he was before you’d even met him. All stern, all posh, looking out for his suitcase, just like you were looking out for yours.

It took a second for you to spot your suitcase.

When you did, your body immediately jolted into action, but a loud clearing of someone's throat stopped you.

Joe.

You looked over and saw him look directly at you, eyebrows raised slightly, slowly shaking his head no.

Confusion.

What?

But... you listened.

Let your own suitcase pass you by, and you saw something change in Joe's expression. Something a little victorious. Something a little too glad, which he tried to hide, about you not just taking what was yours and leaving the area with it.

You watched as your suitcase looped around and... no fucking way. He wouldn't. He fucking wouldn't.

Except he would.

And then, he did.

Joe took your suitcase from the rubber belt and put it down beside him. Gave you a shit eating grin when he extended the telescopic handle with loud clicks and then just... walked off with it.

Was that his? Had you just made the same dumb mistake and had you nearly reached for Joe’s suitcase again?

You looked, saw the other suitcase come your way and were quick to take it. Checked it.

No.

This one wasn’t yours. This was Joe’s.

That little shit.

Your week together wasn’t just going to be your week together, and Joe had to make sure of it. He went about it a little drastically, sure, but in his defence, when he’d thought up the idea of taking your suitcase home instead of his own, part of the plan wasn’t that you’d actually see him do it.

You were meant to just find Joe’s suitcase and not see that it wasn’t yours until you’d get home.

Maybe this was better though.

Maybe this said, “You’re mine.” more.

Maybe this said, “You were mine the moment I saw you dressed in my clothes.” more.

Something possessive and greedy about all of it, but Joe didn’t care.

He was just helping.

And he truly had helped you!

Helped in all the ways he knew how.

Just now was the time for Joe to help himself. And so he did. Joe helped himself when he signaled for you to leave your suitcase be. Helped himself when he smirked across the carousel and turned on his heel, your suitcase rolling behind him. Helped himself when he got into a taxi and waited until it got onto the road before he texted,

“Your suitcase”

Referring back to the first words you'd said to him on that weird day at the airport.

You received the message just as you stepped out of the airport yourself and couldn’t help the way you wanted to squeeze Joe’s face in both your hands, really dig your non-existent finger nails into his cheeks because he was being such an idiot. You didn't know if you wanted to scold him or tell him you loved him for the cheesiest fucking thing you'd ever see someone do.

You knew the perfect reply though.

Joe eagerly awaited your message, was hoping he was going to get what he wanted and, yes, fuck fucking yes, his grin stretched from ear to ear when he did.

“Your jacket” the end

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frogers, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella

taglist currently full, sorry

[raceweek]

Drop the podcast bestie! (Please)

it’s the high performance podcast (you have to download their app to get it for free right now but it will be available for free soon on regular platforms) - in case anyone doesn’t want to download the app but wants to know some of the things alex talked about:

- for context he recorded the first part of the podcast initially and talked a lot about his struggles at red bull and what he went through as a teenager and then went back to the podcast hosts and said actually can we do a part two bc i want to talk about how im coping better now

- he says he isolated himself from all of his friends when everything was happening with his mum and he became an introverted person and still carries that introvertedness with him now from going through that time

- alex was told he was promoted to red bull when he went to see helmut in austria to talk about the practicalities of his move to monaco and just as the meeting ended helmut said oh by the way ur in the red bull seat, here’s the number for ur engineer maybe speak to him but also actually u can’t bc the factory is closed for summer but yeah ur going to be announced in about two hours. bye

- he says he didn’t enjoy being a driver in 2020 at all. literally said he was destroyed. he spoke about the pressure and how he deleted his social media due to the incessant mocking but he also felt like even though he had done that he couldn’t avoid it because although he didn’t see it directly he’d just be asked about it on media day every week anyway

- he was asked about what help was offered to him in 2020 when he was struggling and whilst he said the team cared there wasn’t really anything or anyone to help him. alex and his trainer patrick got their own psychologist towards the end of 2020 and then in 2021 when alex was out of the sport he assembled a team of his own who weren’t the most experienced but who he knew cared for him and would fight to the death for him (said he took jacques from red bull to be his manager because he always fought his corner no matter how tough the situation was)

- he was told about being dropped by horner in a meeting at the end of the season but he already knew because it had been posted in the media before they’d even met

- he described 2021 as a really weird time as he needed to boost his stock with red bull and all the other teams but to do that he needed to give as much as he possibly could to improve the car he had just been kicked out of, so when max said at pre season testing that the car was so much more stable it was a strange feeling knowing that that’s what he needed and he wasn’t able to do anything with it

- he compiled a sexy spreadsheet for team principals in the paddock showing that as much as he struggled in 2020 he was on reflection closer to max pace wise than maxs’ current teammate and maxs’ teammate before alex

- when asked to describe where he is now he said he’s happier than he’s ever been. he’s driving better than ever and is mentally in the best headspace he’s ever been in

- he says he comes up with scenarios in his head from the last 4/5 years and as soon as he has a sort of deja vu struggle moment he uses it to show himself he’s overcome that hurdle

- he said the older he gets the more he doesn’t feel the need to write things down the way he used to because he feels more confident in himself

- the best piece of advice he’s ever received is from franz tost who said “alex if there’s one thing you need to learn about formula one it’s don’t give a fuck” and he said he didn’t really understand it until he started struggling and then he realised that he cared too much

- when asked about what advice he would give to teenage alex now he said it’s hard because he isn’t the most confident now and he knows teenage alex wouldn’t listen bc his parents would always try and fill him with confidence so he said he’d try and shake younger him and tell him that it’s true what they’re telling you

[whitehairandtraumatized-bracket]

White Hair and Trauma Brawl Round 1; Poll 33

remember, voting is based on swag, trauma, and favoritism!!

trauma and propaganda under the cut!

Trauma! 

Ryou: Depending on whether you're pulling from the movie or the manga/anime, he either was gifted his haunted necklace (the Millennium Ring) by his father or picked it up after watching it kill his father both in body and soul, when he was a very young child. His sister is dead in unknown circumstances and he writes letters to her. 

Every time since acquiring the Ring that he has tried to play a game with friends, those friends have dropped into comas due to the ghost in the Ring sealing their souls into game pieces, but Ryou doesn't know this until he meets another person with a haunted necklace, which gives the ghost the ability to not only speak to him (revealing that it was doing that soul-stealing in order to grant ryous wishes to 'play games with his friends forever') but also to stab the sharp parts of the Ring into his chest, making it impossible to just take it off.

This ghost can also possess his body directly, imitating him for its own purposes. In vaguely chronological order, it does this to:

- trick his friends into wagering their souls on a tabletop rpg that it has rigged against them

- stab his hand onto part of the TTRPG map he built, rendering it at least temporarily unusable

- remove a metal eye from someone's skull (licks it also but thats tangential unless that guy had transmittable diseases)

- hurt, damage the souls of, and possibly kill various people via card game using ryous identity and deck

- stab his arm to trick ryous friends into assuming his innocence

- go without food or sleep, leaving him hungry and exhausted whenever he actually has control of his body (it is sometimes unclear how much if any time he gets conscious)

- build another extensive ttrpg map which probably took like a ridiculous amount of time and effort

- force his soul to register as 'evil' so he cant help his friends with a massively important task

- vanish after defeat, leaving him with 0 closure, unsure about 99% of what happened for the past however-long, and sort of.. missing it all (ok, thats my interpretation)

AND presumably he misses a bunch of school due to this?? He's lucky it was playing card games, because at least the school makes provisions for that thanks to the protagonists needing an excuse.

Also, not putting this on the ghost's fault, since it actually steps in and takes the hit for him at the last second, but at one point hes forced out into control of the body right as he's about to be literally killed by a card game/egyptian god with the power of the Actual Sun. There's another guys soul in there at that point too but hes just temporarily using the Ring/Ryou as a vessel for survival while his alter wreaks havoc. Also in the Ring is at least part of an evil god that corrupts everything it touches including the ghost that lives in there so thats probably not great for Ryou’s like, spiritual health or whatever. In the anime he has a screaming breakdown in a church which is pretty iconic.

Phi: MAJOR SPOILERS for Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward and Zero Time Dilemma.

Has been forced into two death games. Experienced many timelines, some of which include her own death. Experiences multiple near death moments to force her to jump between these timelines. Meets her parents before she is even born (complicated). Is named after herself due to the sacrifices she made. She is knowingly patient zero for a pandemic that kills 3/4ths of the population, and learned to jump through timelines in order to attempt to stop of the pandemic from even happening. She goes through a lot, and a lot of it is hard to even really describe. She is physically more traumatized than most people could ever comprehend of due to shenanigans.

Propaganda!

Ryou: Tormented by ghosts and various other evils throughout his life, all his friends either can't trust him or fall into soulless comas, cries over his own soul being marked as evil, and he keeps putting that cursed necklace back on !! He built an occult-themed deck based around a ouija board cardset. Something wrong with this boy (affectionate)

Phi: She acts strangely and it is extremely cool. She has a brain full of odd references and wit. Everyone should play zero escape and experience her as a companion character. She also literally kills a guy on the moon with a rock is that fucked up or what

phi moment

[xavissky]

Magnum Opus; live blog and review

Aka Sky rambles for a bit

This card was really sweet! I hope we get more like it

Get him, girl!

W H Y

mc

please

you have the emotional constitution of a piece of paper in the rain

he's me omg but also,,,

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS

this is giving me a headache

SYLUS PLEASE 😭 this isn't good for you

I have to wonder also if it's because he knows mc better than we do because let's be real.... as the audience I actually feel sometimes the LI's know the MC better than the audience 😅

I digress

This makes me feel like they're in an interesting spot of their relationship like wanting to see each other and do all these couple-y things like riding a high and not really knowing when to stop and rest

Cause it did seem like MC was really tired? And let alone full?

I'm sorry I just would not have gone out 😆 although, she did mention she had no idea where he was bringing her - but she also didn't communicate that she ate. Idk he was probably disappointed and so was she cause I can only imagine he was excited to finally follow-thru on that promise to his old friend on bringing a date someday and now she wasn't even going to have anything.

And I'm sure she felt that, and knows that, and you know they're pretty comfortable in each others' presence like - I've definitely been out with people and not gotten something while they're eating (merely cause I already ate or something?) and been completely fine... so maybe she is too

I'm just struggling a little bit Infold 😆

Like narratively and plot-wise, why are they expanding on this? What's up with this? It's a small thing but I really wonder

Like are they trying to highlight that they're still "figuring out" this relationship thing?

Yes they love each other but it's going to take time to tune into little things and circumstances like this so maybe this is just a small, somewhat numerous glimpse into this

also interesting that we get to MC be a tiny bit more honest and comfortable - we see the job kind of weighing her down, her job is DIFFICULT she puts her body through a lot, and it's nice to see she does eat a lot, cause she's sort of an athlete!! she needs tons to survive.

"you were that hungry?" SORRY FOR THROWING MYSELF AT WANDERERS FOR A LIVING BUT I NEED HIGH CALORIES

He's literally been saving little things to do with her that's so cute!

I find it funny he's like, trying to figure out a roundabout way to ask her. And MC is like, trying to get him to be exceptionally direct? She's vying for him to say it exactly.

When like... I'm looking at you other LI cards. some of the cards is very, very, very roundabout like... the inconsistencies alskdhsg I wonder what it is about Sylus specifically that she wanted him (even if to humor her) to say it directly when in other similar relationships she's been relatively fine COMPLETELY FINE with it being sort of up in the air. (Caleb is the exception for Reasons™️

🙃😌 it's fine i'm fine we're cool it's fine

I'M CACKLINGGGGGG

She's so funny for this

Astra sighing in the background

I desperately need him to be discovered at some point pls it needs to be Tom and Jerry style it would be so funny

He's like an expectant little kid she can't say no HAHAHAHA I feel you MC I'm allergic.....

but omg he's as bad as Xavier with the buying a ton of equipment for one thing, and that time he set up a tent in the room cause he wanted to use it so bad lakdjd

He was rolling with it for like 2 seconds lakdhd UGH MC is never beating the "I like a jealous boyfriend" allegations why is she like this

and then immediately he realizes she dishes it a lot and can't take it Philos MC is that you??

He's SOO reassuring and secure but omg one of my favorite things about Sylus from the beginning is he calls her out a lot, either for being rude, or trying to lie, or hiding her emotions. Part of it I think is because A. she's really bad at hiding her emotions (and he probably finds it endearing lbr) and B. in general he's a master at seeing through people's poker face; he's really good at not being deceived? so he can and does call her out, easily, and I think it lets them be more honest with each other ultimately

I just find it funny she got jealous for a split second and instantly stormed off and has the audacity to call him "a stinker"??? nah she deserved that sarcasm girl be so fr

but alsooo his little "Are you mad?" felt so genuine like, A+ English VA i owe you my life. The subtlety in, I'm-teasing-but-your-emotions-still-matter

impressive!

and also like, he knows she's tired. He's so attentive! Pulled a cool move and decided to buy all her clothes for her.

Shots fired!! Get her.

The shoelace thing hahahha he probably saw it in a movie somewhere he's been waiting to pull it out

I think he's so eager to actually have more of her in general, just to be in her vicinity! But I think he still respects that being a Hunter isn't something she does for the money, you know? It's who she is, it's who she always wanted to be, it's a part of her identity. I think maybe he just wishes he owned the Association ahhahaha

Like the "A moment of fleeting disappointment flashes in his eyes" is precious and ouchhh but also like! He gets it. Thats why he doesn't press. I love that!

What is it with the white haired men and carrying her on their backs-

I like how he finally said she could say no next time and she admitted she couldn't. I hope it doesn't lead to more miscommunication? Like I don't want him to not ask her because he knows she can't say no to him. But I think it's sweet idk maybe it's a learning experience. At least she isn't like, trying to hide that she's tired or making excuses she's at least being more direct with how she's feeling?

Skincare

Omg??? The way she was like, "Only if that's ok with you" and he just helplessly looks at her adoringly! I love itttt they're learninggggg

Not him paying again 🤣 then the save your gas money hahahha

The callback to the myth is sweet and you can hear the pain in his voice like, yeah it really was a cruel twist of fate and she's trying to comfort still but there's still sadness there you know? It's an open door to deeper conversations I hope we get!

And then of course the playful banter haha she really is right back to pushing his buttons.

I like the explanation of marking each others hearts with allegory and cute comparisons. Sylus the puppy is so funny to think about but like... he really kind of is hahaha.

I'm really sad we didn't get to "apply" the face mask i think that would have been a really cute feature but oh well

Awww the lines! We knew we were getting the art piece comparison line but I didn't know MC would be the one to start it! I'm really glad she does these kinds of things like, tries to at least reciprocate in the ways she can.

Yes sometimes she's rash with her words but she's also learning and growing and funny and sweet and she does try, and I think if she could she'd absolutely be doting on her man all the time!

Also the ending really cute to ask like, what things in particular she likes doing or likes in general. Yeah he knows her heart but they actually both are still getting to know each other! They're still learning each other's likes and dislikes. And she asks him right back! It's sweet!

It's really the confirmation that they're actually dating and planning things out. It's nice to see this level of micro-development and a glimpse into their everyday behavior.

I really hope we get more cards like this in the future! Like outside of lore cards, these are the sweetest to me!