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#this person wrote one of my favorite ff.n fics by the way
secondbeatsongs · 1 year
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"DNI if you-" this and "Don't follow if you-" that; you're all cowards. just put this in your bio like it's 2007
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the-z-part · 3 years
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Wanna Know a Writer
Thank you SO much to @vtsuion for the tag!
How many works do you have on AO3?
I currently have 11 fics on ao3!
What’s your total AO3 word count?
135,048! Mostly in Touché, which accounts for like 100k words
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
On ao3, I've written for four fandoms: The Adventure Zone, Dames and Dragons, The Raven Cycle, and the Raffles stories.
Back in the day on ff.n, I also wrote BBC Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Star Trek, but hopefully that's all lost to time!
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Touché obviously! My bajilion word TAZ fencing high school au.
Up In The Air , a Taakitz airline steward au based on a prompt
One Spring Day , a Raven Cycle fic about Gansey realizing he's demisexual
Fire Lily, a Blupjeans hanahaki au, also based on a prompt
Eight (Candle)Nights, a collection of TAZ Hannukah ficlets!
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
Historically I haven't, because I feel weird about repeating myself and just saying "thank you" a lot, but because I really love when people reply to MY comments, I've resolved to do it more often!
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Easily A Study in Futility (I mean, it's in the name!). I wrote some dire shit back in my teen days, but I've softened up a lot lately.
Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not recently, but way back in the day I wrote a BBC Sherlock/Star Trek crossover fic that was pretty galaxy-brained!
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Nope! I'm not popular enough to get hate lol.
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Nah, not my jam
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so ?????
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. That would be so cool!
What’s your all time favorite ship?
Oh what a question. If we're talking number of years, it's Beverly Crusher/Jean-Luc Picard from TNG. If we're talking "to write about," I love writing Blupjeans so much! It we're talking current intensity, Figayda owns my ass (and I WILL write about them soon!). And then I'm writing a whole-ass original fiction novel about Holmes and Watson so they're up there too.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I have this like huge sprawling TAZ au in my head, it's set in the great depression but with magic, inspired by the film O Brother Where Art Thou, structured by folk music, called Barry Done Gone Again.
But big swaths of the plot are missing, and I don't know how much I want to engage with capital-H history--like, I don't want my characters to constantly deal with racism/homophobia/transphobia, but I DO want to talk about economic inequality and the rise of facism, and including one without the other feels like it's ignoring the root causes of these problems.....
So yeah. Maybe if I figure out a good ending, it'll motivate me to sort the rest of this out! Or maybe not.
What are your writing strengths?
I love writing dialogue! Character voices and casual conversion and banter are all my jam!
I do a solid job of plotting; setting up foreshadowing and paying it off later.
I also think I'm pretty funny :)
What are your writing weaknesses?
Description. Setting. PACING!
Also just staying focused. I really struggle to do anything without an externally-imposed deadline.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Technically Harry Potter, although I didn't ever post it. The first fandom I posted in was BBC Sherlock. I know. But listen, I was teen, I didn't know any better.
What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
I mean, Touché. It's super personal and, I think, pretty damn good.
I want to shout out some of my less-read fic that I love, though, particularly The Maltese Duck (TAZ noir nonsense) and the fire's burnt, the wind has blown, the water's dried (you'll still find stone) (my Dames and Dragons opus)
tagging: @barryjaybluejeans @homofocused and @freezing--oceans
But also, I don't know who-all writes fic, so if we're mutuals consider yourself tagged!
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stayextrafrosty · 3 years
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AO3 Tag Game
I was tagged by the wonderful @skinsharpenedteeth! Here we go!
1. How many works do you have on AO3
36 on AO3 and I sometimes consider moving my two stories from ff.n over but I haven't gotten to it yet
2. What's your current AO3 word count?
315,396
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Five technically. "Maximum Ride" "Shadowhunters" and "The Nine Lives of Chloe King" <- those are not on AO3
"Roswell New Mexico" and Fall Out Boy <- those are on AO3
4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos.
they are all "Roswell New Mexico" malex fics
"Another Chance to Hold Your Hand"
"I Almost Lost You"
"I'm Dying for a Taste of You"
"Something About Running Hot?"
"I am Your Future I am Your Past"
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Sometimes. I often want to reply to all of them but usually won't unless I have something to say other than thank you. such as teasers or hints about plans for stories. (There's the big secret. Now the question is what am I actually serious about in my replies)
6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Tbh I don't really write much in the way of angst. And if I do it's always a happy or at the very least a hopeful ending. Both my Malex soulmate AU and Malex Vampire AU have quite a bit of angst in them but it's usually resolved pretty quickly. But my Isobel/Liz fic that I wrote after 3x08 aired is probably the angstiest because even though I write them kissing, they know it will never happen again.
7. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?
I don't write crossovers. I can hardly keep track of all the characters from one show. I'm not the biggest fan of reading them either honestly. Just never really did it for me I guess. But I have a lot of respect for people that do write them!
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Yes actually. It happened back when I was writing for "The Nine Lives of Chloe King" back on ff.net. I was like 14 and I made my first attempt at a sexual assault scene. I got ripped apart by this reader saying that I wrote it wrong and that the character being attacked wasn't "acting right." I was young and intimidated so I ended up re-writing the scene and removing the sexual assault all together. To be honest, I can't even remember how I wrote it. Maybe it was terrible but it still really sucked at 14 to have someone pick apart my writing like that.
Thankfully though, I haven't received hate for anything recently
9. Do you write smut?
Uh... yea. A lot. Literally almost everything.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of.
11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but I would love to try sometime! I like to think I'm a very easy person to work with
12. What's your all time favorite ship?
Oof umm... Right now it's absolutely Malex but my original OTP was Max and Fang from "Maximum Ride" and they will always hold a special place in my heart
13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
"Maximum ride"
But that fic exists in a place no one can ever find it.
14. What's your favorite fic you've written?
Hmm... you know, I thought about skipping this question but I actually really love both my Malex soulmate and vampire AU's.
A piece that I love that isn't roswell related would be my "Friend's with the Monster" series. It's a Patrick Stump/reader but I'm actually quite happy with how I wrote it. I feel terrible that I haven't updated it but I guess that's what happens when you don't really have a plan going in.
Tagging: whoever feels compelled to do this because it's late and I can't remember who the writers are
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allthetruebeauty · 4 years
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Clarity or Something
It’s the damndest thing.  Since the start of the pandemic I have not been able to write.  Well, to be clear, I’ve not been able to write fiction of my own volition; stuff for work and even a comic book script (a movie adaption) on an aggressive deadlines made it through, but no “stories.”
Over the past few days, I’ve gotten alerts from FF.N that someone is favoriting some of my fics.  This of course is bittersweet.  On one hand, “someone likes meeeeee!” On the other, it’s been way too long since my last anything, let alone fic. Cue writer’s guilt.
So this morning, after falling asleep last night weeping over Chadwick Boseman’s death along with....well, everything, I actually took a long at those alerts.  They’re old fics, like almost 20 years old from a show that outlived my interest in it by nearly a decade and a ship that, despite all of the signs otherwise, did not make it out of the dock (and then, in my opinion, was pillaged for fire wood).
These were not my first fics by a long shot and were not my first published fics by a few years.  But they’re the first fics I wrote as a part of an active, connected fandom, and they’re the first fics where I can chart the beginnings of my personal writing style.  They’re also some of the last fics I wrote before I stopped writing for about 10 years. 
I’ve looked back at some of these before, usually as relics of the past and part of my writing journey. But when I re-read a few this morning, not only did they awaken something in me that for the first time in six months feels like maybe there’s space in my body, mind and spirit to tell stories again -- but they also (and this is the weird part), almost made me want to revisit those characters that I haven’t felt a connection to in years. 
Admittedly, I have been revisiting some old fandoms since the start of the pandemic.  I took a deep dive back into True Blood (which I’ve actually never written fic for) for a couple of months in the spring, and it was a most welcome relief. But True Blood is something I revisit from time to time like an old friend.  The aforementioned fandom feels almost like an ex-lover, something I can look back on through the lens of nostalgia and have never wanted to engage with again.  I don’t even have the DVDs of the show anymore - though I’m more than certain one of the streaming services has the entire show available.  
I’m not sure if I will go back and watch, let alone revisit these characters in written form, but I’m glad for the nudge they’ve given me nonetheless. 
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darklingichor · 5 years
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Carry On by Rainbow Rowell *Major Spoilers*
I wrote a little about this book last month, but I want to write more. This is one of those books that has been lingering in my brain so what follows will be long and rambling.
Now, I haven't read Fangirl I've been pulled more toward action adventure and humor in my fiction, for a while now. Hmm, I wonder what could have happened a few years back  that would cause a Pacific Northwest liberal to feel the need for escape? Just one of those things, I suppose.
I need to read it, if only because I wrote Harry Potter fanfic for years and sort of lost myself in it right after high school.
Anyway.
I've heard people calling Carry On an HP knock off. I don't get this. Simon Snow is obviously Fangirl's Harry Potter. That makes Carry On more of a tongue in cheek homage to HP and stories like it as well as something of a love letter to fanfic writers.
A lot of the main characters start out as your standard for this type of story. "The Hero", "The Mentor", "The Damsel", "The Enemy", "The Unspeakable Evil."
Through the book it becomes clear that our hero is well meaning but ill-suited for the role that his mentor thinks he place him in. The mentor is shown to be unhinged. The damsel is sick of screaming and doesn't want to be in the story at all. The enemy is love sick for the hero and dealing with the puberty from hell. The unspeakable evil, isn't. Its just an unforeseen byproduct of the mentor's plan, in which, the hero, is a pawn.
The book plays with archetypes and I read some of them as being fairly meta about their expected place in the story.
Agetha, especially, seems to know her role and resent it. She's who is saved by the hero, whether she likes it or not.
Baz is so certain of his role as "The Enemy" that until his role flips, he's sure his destiny is to be killed by the person he's in love with.
Simon knows his role so well, he's on auto pilot as a defence mechanism. He's either going to die, or he'll get a stock Happily Ever After. He doesn't even allow himself to think too much about what really matters to him, because he knows his life isn't really his.
I would have loved this book because of everything I wrote above, but add to it the nods to fan contribution? It was enough to make me remember my old ff.n login!
I don't know if Rainbow Rowell researched fan fiction but I figure she must have.
I mean, the things I saw played with and reshaped in Carry On, are fanfic tropes. Rowell took things that grew out of fans having fun with their favorite characters and made them canon.
Main character going out with an exchange student, pop culture references, evil good guy, and:
Four words: Draco is a vampire.
Sure, not every fic that used these were the best, but so what? Many were sincere.
What better way to go to Hogwarts as a person raised outside the UK than to live though an OC in an exchange program?
It was weird that no one in the wizard world listened to muggle music, watched movies or TV. Even the muggleborns? I'm sorry, but I was in the same age range as the characters. In fact, if Harry were real, he would be three years older than me. You can't convince me that there were not at least a couple of muggleborns who were  sending an owl a week to remind their parents to tape Friends or My So-Called Life.
There were a fair few stories where Dumbledore or even Harry turned out to be evil. Even before we found out Dumbledore wasn't a saint. It can be fun to play with expectations and Dumbledore was too perfect for too long.
The vampire thing? I mean, why not? Either Draco or Snape. It fits enough for a fic, and you can get some fun stuff out of it. Besides Hogwarts allowed a warewolf, why not a vampire?
The point is, this book reminds me of some goofy fics I read but also reminds me of some that I sometimes have to remind myself aren't canon, because fan fiction can be amazing.
Example: It has been years but I still remember a great fic that someone wrote about Uric The Oddball's years at Hogwarts. I don't remember much about it off hand but I do know that if I re-read HP, when Uric is mentioned, I think of this story like it is something that is actually in the history of the series. (Dude, I googled "Uric the Oddball fan fiction" on a whim. Popped right up: Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte. Guess I shouldn't be surprised! Maybe I should read it again to see if it's still as good as I remember).
So yeah, Carry On is so not an HP knock off and has a number of things that I think make me like it more.
The first one is diversity. It is very nice to have it explicitly said in the text that characters are of different ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities. Watford is a far better representation of a population than Hogwarts is, outside of fanfic (It wasn't there, people wrote it in).
Then there is magic itself, it comes from somewhere it's in the environment, it has to do with celestial alignment, people give words power to channel that energy.
That brings me to something that made me adore the world building here.
The actuality of Simon Snow's universe is that Mages cannot exist independently without the Normals. Without the Normals giving weight and meaning to turns of phrase, rhyme and songs, the Mages couldn't do what they do. Add to that, this means that magic is ever evolving and the Mages must learn about and be a part of, to some extent, the Normal world. This makes Mages who look down on Normals seem even more ridiculous.
I also think this book handled romance better than Harry Potter. I don't know what it was but the relationships seemed awkward and strained in HP. Maybe it was because most of it was shoved into one book, like Hogwarts's water supply was spiked with hormones? I don't know.
What I do know is that even though Simon and Agetha are going through the motions of being together in this book, they still feel like two people who have been dating for a long time.
We don't get a lot about Penny and her boyfriend, but the way she is described talking about him reminds me of how my best friend would talk about her boyfriends when she was visiting me. The way she would go on, you'd think that he was on the moon instead of 90 miles away. I bought that Penny and her boyfriend enjoy each other's company.
And the biggie. Simon and Baz
I almost didn't read this book for two reasons. First: Vampire main character. I love vampires, but I lived through the deluge of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, not to mention that every other book seemed to be about vampires. Even though I didn't watch or read all of them, I just got vampired out.
Second: I have never been one for the whole "enemies to love interest" thing. The Harry/Draco pairing never spoke to me.  Not that I never read fics that managed that ship well, it was just not my favorite, probably because I just never liked Draco.  I tend to prefer romances that are built on friendship (Remus and Sirius dated each other at some point, and nothing can convince me otherwise).
All that being said, I like the Simon/Baz pairing.
I like that Baz freely admits to the reader that a lot of his tormenting of Simon is pigtail pulling.
I like that Simon is more or less: "I like a guy? A guy who was my nemisis? That's new, let's go for it."
There's none of that "Hate turns to love" shit that I personally can't stand.  None of the "I am evil, yet his light draws me" or "His darkness is so seductive"
Baz isn't a villain needing to rethink his position. He's a slightly snobby guy with a lot of family pressure, who is in love with a dude who has been set up as opposition, by the adults in his life.
Simon isn't a good guy wanting to be bad. He's a guy who is following the path set out for him without giving context to his feelings with thought, because he doesn't think. So, when Baz doesn't show up at the first of the year, Simon knows 3 things for sure:
Baz is his enemy
His enemy is not there
He feels very uneasy about it.
Why?
See numbers 1 & 2
This equals out to "plotting" in Simon's mind because that's what enemies do.
It doesn't dawn on him that he was actually missing Baz and that he has romantic feelings for him until later
I also like the interaction between them. Again, I buy that they like each other. The simpler moments, like sharing food, or being flirty. It also makes sense that Baz is so nervous and guarded about the relationship. It fits that they would bicker and argue while trying to figure every thing out.
The relationships feel authentic.
In fact all of the relationships between  the characters feel authentic.  The sibling relationships between Ebb and Nicky, I know siblings that close. The interaction between Baz and his little sister, I know people like them too. The Friendships; in my opinion, too few friends in fiction are depicted messing with each other or being lovingly annoyed by each other.
I've known my two best friends most of my life. Not a day goes by where one of us doesn't say something that if it was said by anyone else, it would lead to a fight. Said by us, it's funny, or at least something we can't argue with.
So I related when Baz's friend complained that he had wasted his childhood hating Simon now that Simon and Baz were no longer enemies and Baz said: "What else were you going to do with your childhood?"
I spent my 20's with my friends seemingly taking turns crashing at my apartment. I spent most of my time ossulating between wishing they would go home and being glad they were there.
So at the beginning of the book, when Penny won't leave Simon's room? I saw myself in the way Simon felt about it.
That authentic and relatable quality was what I really liked about the quiet - if not Happily Ever After - then the Attempting Normal For Now ending each character got.
Well, as normal as you can get with a story involving  mages, vampires and powerful Elton John songs.
I am a dodecahedron of geekdom, btw and the classic rock side jumped up and down clapping hands at all of the music references (and giggled when Carry On was fallowed by Wayward Son which will be followed by Anyway The Wind Blows). 
And now we come to the reason I have not read the sequel even though it is sitting in a bag with the rest of this year's Powell's haul.
From what I have read, Wayward Son is, at least in part, about what happens after Happily Ever After and ends on a cliffhanger. 
After Happily Ever After with a cliffhanger and no release date... Yeah, that will drive me crazy. I haven't even read the second book and I'm already thinking about the third. Aw man! Who dies? Who breaks up? Who becomes evil?
So, even though road trip stories are right up there with time travel stories as one of my favorites, even though I love the idea of showing a character battling depression, even though I love these characters, period; Wayward Son will stay unread until I run out of new books to read, or the next book's release date is close. Whichever comes first, because I want to think of the characters in their quiet ending ending for a little while.
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sheliesshattered · 4 years
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Fic meme
I was tagged by @primarybufferpanel​ -- thank you darling, this was a ton of fun to do!
This got a bit long, so I’ll put the people I’m tagging here at the top:  @claraaoswald​, @ambitious-witch​, @someillplanetreigns​, and @junoinferno​, if you feel like playing!
My AO3, my old non-updating fanfiction.net
Fandoms I’ve made fanworks for: Oh lord. I’m only going to count fanfiction that has actually been posted, but if I tried to count up every fandom that I’d started writing for and left unfinished fragments languishing on various harddrives and googledocs over the years, it’d be at least double this list. I have two pseuds on AO3, with the fics roughly organized by fandoms that I post about on this Tumblr account (sheliesshattered) and fandoms that pre-date my time on Tumblr that I don’t post about very much (glasscannon). Putting all the fandoms together in one alphabetized list:
Black Sails - 5 Doctor Who - 8 Firefly/Serenity - 1 Game of Thrones - 1 The Hobbit - 1 The Hunger Games - 1 Iron Man - 2 Law & Order: Criminal Intent - 1 Mad Max - 2 Once Upon A Time - 1 Poldark - 3 Star Wars - 3 Twilight - 7 The West Wing - 1
Number of fics: 38, including a big unfinished epic that I never moved over from ff.n, and don’t plan to unless I finish it someday.
Fics I spent more time on: I’m not even quite sure how to measure this. I’m a slow writer, and a single story can easily hold my attention for years at a time, or be something I return to when there isn’t a newer fandom temporarily consuming me. I don’t tend to keep track of how many hours I put into a fanfic, though. The unfinished epic I mentioned is probably near the top of that list, and was a huge part of my life from 2009 to 2013. Other contenders would be the All Hands series (written with PBP!), and Truth Universally Acknowledged, particularly if you include all the massive world-building that went into that one. 
But really probably the one I’ve poured the most hours into, between research and writing, is a Doctor Who epic that hasn’t yet seen the light of day, called Home The Long Way ‘Round. Because I have such a habit of starting long stories and then not finishing them, I’m making myself get that one completely done before I post any of it to AO3, so I don’t have anything to show for it yet, but I’ve put a ton of time into it over the last five years or so. Hopefully someday I’ll actually get to share it. :)
Fics I spent less time on: Like I said, I’m a very slow writer, so any time I can turn out a story in a matter of days I’m just absolutely shocked. I wrote The Message over the course of about 24 hours, which is probably the fastest I’ve ever finished anything in my life ever, lol.
Longest fic: The All Hands series is sitting at 126,800 words, and PBP and I have more finished for it that we’re hoping to post soon-ish. The unfinished epic made it to almost 119,000 words before I ran out of steam. Truth Universally Acknowledged racked up about 54,000 words before my co-writer and I took a break from it, and probably triple that in world-building bibles and timelines, etc. On the works-in-progress side of things, Home The Long Way ‘Round is sitting at about 40,000 words currently and only about a third of the way done, and the For As Long As We Get series is at 21,000 words between what I’ve posted and what I’m still working on, and will definitely continue to grow.
Shortest story: 10 Seconds, at 208 words. Also one of the very first fanfics I ever finished and posted online.
Most hits: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by like a factor of 20 vs anything else I have on AO3. It’s the only time I’ve written for the main pairing in an active fandom (tho my purview in the co-writing was more on the secondary pairing), and that translated to a stupidly large number of hits. Fanfiction.net doesn’t count hits the same way, but the unfinished epic is sitting at about 3500 favs.
Most kudos: Setting The Stuns’ls, the first in the All Hands series -- which is SHOCKING considering that’s a tiny rowboat of a fandom, for a non-canon background pairing that has literally about 30 seconds of shared screentime, and the two romantic leads don’t so much as kiss over the course of 94,000 words (longing looks, significant hand-touches, mutual pining, definitely, but kissing, not so much).
Most bookmarks: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by a long shot.
Fic you want to rewrite or expand: I don’t tend to edit a story once it’s been posted, beyond correcting a typo or adding a missed word. Once it’s published, it’s finished and I don’t change it significantly. I do have quite a few (so, so many) unfinished stories that I would love to finish up at some point.
Total words combined: Counting only published fics, including the unfinished epic (and a companion piece for it) that lives only on ff.n, I’m currently at 376,542 words total.
Fav fic you wrote: How can you make me choose between my children like this, honestly?? Siiiigh. I’m with PBP, whatever I’m working on currently is usually my favorite. I’m having a ton of fun with For As Long As We Get, and can’t wait to publish the next part of that, hopefully sometime this month. I’m incredibly proud of All Hands, and that occupied such a specific time in my life that I’ll always think of it fondly. I’m exceptionally happy with the character voices and use of language in both Breathe Again and Upon This Rock Will I Break Myself, Until It Shows Me Your Beloved Face, and tend to feel like they don’t get enough love vs how much I love them. But my one true favorite is and will always be Home The Long Way ‘Round, and hopefully I’ll actually be able to finish it and post it someday.
Share a bit of your WIP or idea if you have anything planned: Again, how can I possibly choose just one?? Even just within the Doctor Who fandom, I currently have more than half a dozen stories actively in progress. But since I’ve talked it up so much without being able to link to it at all, and just declared it my all-time fav, I’m going to break one of my own rules and post the whole first chapter (eek!) of Home The Long Way ‘Round behind a read more:
Chapter 1: Orange Dreams
The sound of the wind is whispering in your head Can you feel it coming back? Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running ‘til we’re there. We're coming home now, we’re coming home now. —Home, Dotan
 The winds shrieked and howled around her. Clara had never been in a tornado, but she imagined it would feel like this to stand in the eye of one. She could see gusts lifting the tops off the sand dunes in shimmering ribbons, gold against the orange sky. The waves of airborne sand dissipated a few feet from her, leaving only a jagged grittiness in the air.
A woman with long blonde hair was yelling at her, her words ripped away by the wind.
“Tell me again!” Clara called back to her. “Tell me how to find home!”
“It’s just physics!” the other woman shouted, taking a step closer; they were nearly the same height. “No information can ever be lost! Start from zero, and run the math! We’ll be waiting on the other end of that equation!”
There was something Clara desperately wanted to tell this woman who looked at her with kindness behind the steel of her eyes, but in that moment, the words wouldn’t come.
“Look!” someone yelled behind Clara, and though she didn’t want to take her eyes off her, she instinctively looked up, following the line of the other person’s arm up into the gathering storm-whipped dusk. There, silhouetted against the last of the light, was the unmistakable blue boxy shape of the Doctor’s TARDIS, spinning quickly as it flew away—
Clara jerked awake, her heart hammering against her ribs, already sitting up and pulling off her sleep mask before she realised what had woken her was the sound of the TARDIS materialising in the sitting room of her flat. She took a moment to catch her breath, trying to hold onto the details of the dream. In the other room, the TARDIS’s familiar wheezing and groaning came to a stop with a soft thud, followed by the squeak of the door.
“Doctor?” Clara called, not bothering to hide the sleep nor the annoyance in her voice.
He poked his head around her bedroom doorframe, grey hair awry and his most innocent expression plastered on — which meant he knew he was waking her and felt at least marginally bad about it. “Hello, Clara. It’s Wednesday,” he said pleasantly, by way of explanation.
“Is it?” she asked, deadpan.
“Technically.”
“You do know that I have to work today, don’t you?”
“Not for another six hours. So come on, up-and-at-‘em, plenty of time to go out and save the universe and still be back in time for your morning coffee. I’ve an adventure that simply won’t keep, so come on!”
His excitement was infectious, as he must have known it would be, but Clara clung to her annoyance a little longer, mostly for show. “You have a time machine: everything can keep,” she replied, but waved him off before he could launch into a lecture on all the ways that statement was false, at least from a temporal physics standpoint. He lectured anyway, hovering outside her bedroom door as she dressed, though Clara expected it was mostly to keep himself from pacing in anticipation. She followed more than half of it, and worried a bit over how often she let him babble on about the minutiae of time travel these days.
By the time the universe had been set to rights — or at least one small blue world, home to a race of sentient seahorses, that had been facing imminent extinction in the form of a rogue exoplanet — she had nearly forgotten her unsettling, vivid dream.
--
Given the recent events on Skaro, Clara was unsurprised when bits of her experiences there began to filter into her dreams. Truthfully, she had expected to dream of it more often than she did, but in the weeks that followed, more nights than not her sleeping mind instead conjured up the strange orange landscape. She revisited that screaming sandstorm so often it became almost comforting, and before long, other dreams joined it. 
Clara was leaned against a railing on a high balcony, overlooking a large city coming alight as dusk crept on, a rusty sunset that stretched the width of the horizon bathing the world in amber. The woman with the serious eyes and long, straight blonde hair stood beside her, in the middle of a conversation, as happened so frequently in dreams.
“Alright, but what about the last stage?” Clara asked, elbows resting next to hers on the railing. “That bit depends on us actively doing something, and you know we can’t rely on my knowledge. I can’t take any of the engineering or navigation with me, so it’ll be down to him.”
“And he loves a good puzzle,” the other woman said confidently, flicking her hair over her shoulder with a twitch of her head. “He’ll want to find us. He’ll figure it out.”
“Before I die of old age? Are you sure? My mother was one of his professors at the Academy, I’ve seen his test scores. I think we need a fail-safe.”
“He did graduate,” she pointed out reasonably.
“He passed his exams with a fifty-one percent on his second attempt! No, we can’t assume he’ll have all the baseline information to even consider such a solution, much less actually accomplish the maths. We have to find some way to hide it with me,” Clara said. “Or in his TARDIS.”
The woman was silent for a long moment, her mouth set in a thoughtful line. On the distant horizon, the sun had finished its slow descent, but below them the city was coming to life, the light not so much fading as changing sources, becoming ever so slightly more golden.
“By that point in the timeline,” the blonde woman said, speaking slowly, still thinking it through, “you’ll have been exposed to his timestream and to the crack in the universe, so some of your memories will probably start leaking through. If we structure the extraction the right way, we might be able to embed a particular thought or moment into your consciousness before you go into the Schism.”
“What’d you have in mind?” Clara asked, turning her head to look at her.
“This conversation?” she suggested, laughing, her broad smile transforming her face. “No, a phrase would be cleaner, I think.”
“‘Run the math, you idiot boy’?” Clara suggested, also giggling.
“Oh yes, that’d go over well! No, if you want him to do something, call him clever. Works every time!” she laughed, leaning her shoulder into Clara’s.
“The horrid thing is that I know the temporal physics for this is part of my mother’s coursework,” Clara groaned. “If he hadn’t slept through so many of her classes, this would be a non-issue!”
“Ah, but a Doctor who was always responsible? What a boring universe that would be!”
Above them, the stars were beginning to come out, though the glare of the city obscured them. Through the haze of the dream, Clara couldn’t find any constellations she recognised. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “I was the one who helped him steal that box in the first place.”
“And if he could take half a moment to remember that,” the blonde woman said seriously, “he might realise the role of his TARDIS in all of this, and start to think of the solution that way.”
“‘Run the math, you—”
“Clever.”
“—boy, and remember when you met me’?”
The other woman nodded, considering. “That could do it. Your chronodeterminate conjugation won’t work until you come into contact with at least a little regeneration energy. Assuming you choose regeneration on Trenzalore, it might start kicking in then, in plenty of time for the last stage.”
“Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me,” Clara whispered up to the distant stars, cradling her chin on her arms against the railing.
The woman mimicked her position, the golden light of the city and the silver light of the stars catching in her long pale hair. “It’s just physics,” she murmured back. “Start from zero and run the math. I’ll be waiting at the other end of that equation. We’ll all be waiting.”
--
As unsettling as they were, at least the orange-tinged dreams were better than nightmares of Daleks, of being locked in the Dalek casing, unable to convince the Doctor that it was her, it was her, she wasn’t a Dalek, she wasn’t a Dalek! Dreams of the Doctor peering at her down an eyestock, this face or the last, or any of the others buried deep in her subconscious, hearing her but not knowing her, seeing her but not saving her.
Clara grasped for that orange sky, let it carry her away in bronze sandstorms, golden cities slowly coming to life, and starlight caught in tawny hair.
--
Monday morning third period found her Year 10 students taking an essay exam while Clara doodled on a scrap piece of paper, trying to pull images and phrases out of the orange haze that had taken up residence in her slumbering hours since Skaro. There were bits that tugged at her memory, like a song she couldn’t quite place but whose tune was intensely familiar.
She’d written Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me across the top of the page, and her eyes strayed to it every few seconds. The phrase had stayed with her after she woke, and had been on the tip of her tongue ever since, as though it was a message she was meant to deliver. Below it she’d rewritten the phrase, but crossed out six words: Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me.
It was too close for comfort to the phrase that had, in retrospect, changed her life, sent her on her current course. The Maitlands’ mnemonic for their wifi password, which she’d said out loud during that first phone conversation with the Doctor, had caught his attention somehow, and it wasn’t until she jumped into his timestream that she understood. It was the last thing she’d said to him before sacrificing herself to save him. Every fragment of her scattered through his timestream had said it to him at some point as well, the words reverberating endlessly up and down his timeline.
Why her dreams would dredge it up now, and in such a strange context, Clara had no idea. They didn’t feel like random images, but more like memory-dreams, like the bits of echo lives that filtered through to her sleeping mind from time to time. It had to mean something.
Half way down the scrap paper she’d written: It’s just physics. Start from zero and run the math. Below this was the very helpful ??? and Clara idly traced over the question marks again. Physics was still a foreign language to her, despite how much the Doctor prattled on about it at times. She could bring this to him, she mused, but what was it, really? Her subconscious doing backflips in the wake of Skaro, that was all. No grand mystery to solve, no universe-altering secret code, just her. She wouldn’t bother the Doctor with this quite yet.
Besides, she was certain she could tease this apart on her own, follow the clues to their logical conclusion without his assistance. The dreams were insistent, and felt familiar, but Clara was sure she’d never dreamed of the blonde woman and the orange sky prior to Skaro. That was the next clue, then, and she jotted it down on her scrap paper. Something had changed after Skaro, something that caused her subconscious mind to dredge up these particular buried memories. 
She needed more information. Dreams about her echo lives were always stronger when she was aboard the TARDIS travelling in the Vortex, sharper and easier to remember. Maybe these orange dreams would be, too. And maybe the TARDIS itself would have some answers for her.
--
Of course, she didn’t sleep aboard the TARDIS very often, with her insistence on returning home for a week of Real Life in between their Wednesday trips. But the Doctor was never adverse to her sticking around longer than she’d planned, and in the end it didn’t take much to convince him: 
“I’ve a staff meeting at work that I’m dreading,” Clara told him on that next Wednesday, when they returned to the TARDIS after their latest outing. “So what do you say I have a little kip and then we squeeze in another adventure before you take me back to face my workday?”
She thought for a moment that the Doctor might question the change in their routine, but he seemed thrilled about the idea. When he announced that he had some tinkering with the engines he’d been putting off that should keep him occupied while she slept, Clara made an excuse to linger in the console room — “just going to finish reading this chapter, then off to bed” — until after he’d gone. Once he’d disappeared down the corridor and around a corner, she quietly set aside her book, then slipped out of her armchair and down the stairs towards the console. The rotors hummed overhead, and somehow Clara knew the TARDIS was aware of her, and was curious to see what she would do.
Carefully clearing her thoughts, she made her way over to the telepathic circuits, pushed up her sleeves, and slid her hands into the strange interface. Focus was the key, she knew, and she was nothing if not focused. She closed her eyes and held two very specific thoughts in her mind: the sand-whipped orange sky in her dreams, and the clear question, Where, please?
She hoped the please would help.
It was a long quiet moment with the circuits warmly cradling Clara’s fingers, and then something on the console beeped. Her eyes flew open and she carefully extracted her hands from the telepathic interface before pulling the monitor down to eye level.
Gallifrey the screen read in English, below an image of a startlingly red-orange planet. Immediately prior to the Time Lock.
Clara felt her heart thud painfully against her ribs as she read the brief text again. She’d been dreaming of Gallifrey? She knew she’d had an echo life on Gallifrey, but she remembered that interaction with the Doctor, and it happened indoors. She had never before dreamt of the Gallifreyan sky. Had it been buried somewhere in her subconscious with the rest of her memories of that life? Why surface now?
More confused than ever, she clicked the screen back to the desktop, unreadable Circular Gallifreyan floating idly across the display. Perhaps she should bring this up with the Doctor — it was his home world, after all. But the whole point of this had been to dream while they were in the Vortex, and if she didn’t get a move on, he’d be ready for their next adventure before she’d even managed to fall asleep. She could talk with him about it later. 
And if things worked tonight as she hoped they would, maybe she would even have a bit more information to bring to him when she did.
--
“Fire suppressant in Pod Four!” 
The frantic call was quickly overwhelmed by the sound of the requested suppressant dispensing from the ceiling. When it ended, the speaker, dressed in the dark red uniform of a technician, brushed soot and foam off his shirt. 
“It hates me, that one,” he said, nodding at the unassuming gray cylinder in the open pod in front of him. It was devoid of features, even its doors invisible now in the wake of the fire, two meters tall and one meter in diameter, just like all the other patients in the workshop. But somehow it did seem to be glowering at him.
“And it always will, stop wasting your time,” his coworker said flippantly. He was perched in front of a console on the other side of the room, deep in his own repairs. “Just get the Impossible Girl to do it, she’ll have it eating out of her hand by lunchtime.”
Their conversation occurred in the time it took Clara to enter the large oblong workshop and make her way to the far end where the two were working. “I heard that,” she said seriously, earning a guilty-looking jump from the man who had spoken most recently. She continued over to Pod Four and leaned against the outer casing, arms folded over her uniformed chest, one booted ankle crossed over the other. “What did you do now?” she demanded of the first technician.
He looked at her with wide eyes, more out of genuine fear than mock innocence, in her estimation. “I just told it—”
“You what?” she snapped, in a tone she usually reserved for misbehaving students.
He wilted a little but started again “…I told it to—”
“Told it?”
“…to give me access to the logs,” he mumbled, dropping her gaze.
“Told it to give you access to the logs?” she asked, voice harsh. “Well first off, Number Four here prefers male pronouns, respecting that might put you on better footing. And secondly, as with all TARDISes, you’ll get a lot further if you ask rather than tell.”
Behind her, the other tech scoffed. “They’re machines, we shouldn’t have to baby them like that. An access request is an access request.”
Clara turned her head to pin him with an icy glare. “Some days I cannot believe I let you work here,” she told him bluntly. “They aren’t just machines, as you very well know. Yes, there’s hardware we need to be able to work with, but that’s nothing more than a radio, at some level — only instead of radio waves, we’re using oswin waves to talk to pan-dimensional beings so large, they can’t have a physical form in this dimension. Who, with a little extra energy, can take us and an infinite amount of folded space to nearly any point in spacetime. Just think about the massive intelligences that speak to us through each of those machines!
“But more to the point,” she said, turning back to the tech still covered in soot, “you have to understand their viewpoint of the universe, and their understanding of time. A Time Lord telling a TARDIS what to do is akin to creating a fixed point in spacetime. It’s in their nature to want to avoid fixed points. Ask instead, let him find his own way ‘round to it.”
Before the beleaguered technician could reply, there came a polite knocking from the far end of the room, and Clara turned to see a soldier standing in the doorway of the workshop, looking a little out of his depth. “Sorry to interrupt, but I have a message for—” he paused to glance down at the datapad in his hand, “for the Oswin. From the Lady President. Top priority.”
Clara was moving towards him before he’d finished speaking, curious and concerned, her attention focused on the message in his hands. But the dream faded out before she reached him, her mind moving on to something more abstract, more difficult to hold on to.
When she woke in her bed aboard the TARDIS, she stared at the ceiling with fond frustration. “If that was your attempt at help,” she whispered to the ship, “then I do not understand the message.”
--
It still wasn’t enough to bring to the Doctor, she decided later that day, watching him spin around the console room in the afterglow of a successful adventure, people saved, the universe bettered. So she was dreaming of Gallifrey, what of it? Many of the details in that last dream matched up with what she remembered of her interaction with the Doctor in that life. And while he occasionally enjoyed comparing memories of all the times her echoes had met him, she’d found he wasn’t especially keen on discussing the one in which she’d helped him steal the TARDIS and leave Gallifrey. Susan continued to be a point of pain for the Doctor, all these centuries later, and Clara understood him well enough to know better than to pick at that particular scab.
Still. That phrase was on a loop in her head: run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me. The emphasis on their meeting hadn’t been part of the original phrase, and now she was dreaming of the life in which they’d met face to face for the first time, from the Doctor’s perspective. Clearly they would have to discuss it at some point. 
Eventually, but not yet.
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maychorian · 7 years
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Get to Know the Author
Tagged by @eastofthemoon. Thank you!
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
“Maychoria” was the name of the main country in the fantasy novel I wrote when I was thirteen and fourteen. It means “happy land,” based on two words I found in a Greek dictionary we had in the house. So “Maychorian” basically means “inhabitant of the happy land.”
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).
On AO3, A Split-Second of Violence still has the most views and kudos and bookmarks, over 46k hits and almost 2500 kudos and 762 bookmarks. The first and second Boom Crash stories combined beat it, though, and Sell Me Your Nightmares beats it for comment threads. Over all platforms, I’m pretty sure my most famous fic ever is still Entertaining Angels, a deaged Castiel fic I wrote at the cusp of Supernatural fandom, just as Castiel was starting to get popular. I  happened to write that story at the exact right time, in the mid-season break when everyone was hungry for more of the intriguing character we’d just been introduced to, and cute deaged angel boy trying to help Sam and Dean with their respective traumas was bound to be a hit no matter who wrote it. Plus I gave him pneumonia. It’s a thing I do.
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
Same as my current tumblr icon. Cuz Lance has the best expressions and he’s the cutest and the best.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
I do, and I love them and appreciate them so, so much. If you comment on a lot of my fics and/or chapters, you’d better believe I notice, and I love you, even if I don’t respond.
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Basically anything in this tag: https://maychorianrecs.tumblr.com/tagged/personal-favorite.
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
Oh, golly. My work subscriptions at AO3 is currently at fifteen pages. A lot of those are completed or abandoned, though. No idea how many fics and authors I’m still subscribed to on ff.n, mostly in dead fandoms. I have 80 bookmarks on AO3 at the moment, but that is not an accurate representation of the fics I like and recommend others read. That would be @maychorianrecs, which currently has 681 posts and isn’t even complete even for the Voltron fandom, let alone the other fandoms I read now or have read in the past.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
The Dream Seam ‘verse is definitely the one that owns the largest part of my brain right now, but I’m also looking forward to getting back to my DnD AU once I finish my current big projects. I tend to write more canon-divergence AUs than alternate realities, in most cases. I like exploring how things can differ across time if one small (or large) change is made in the setting we know and love. Like what if Castiel went back in time and ended up as Sam and Dean’s older brother? Love that one.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
User Subscriptions: 617 Kudos: 27064 Comment Threads: 5019 Bookmarks: 5631 Subscriptions: 2713 Word Count: 1169905 Hits: 325489
That’s insane, and it’s only in the last three or four years, since I didn’t really start using AO3 until mid-2014. I have a lot more before that on ff.n and other sites.
9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
If there’s something I want to write and share, I will find a way.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
I wish I was better at action. It always takes me a lot time to sort of choreograph it in my head and then describe it in a way that makes sense. I also need to work on writing believable romance, since I want to eventually write more mainstream fiction, and it’s pretty normal for characters to have romances. I can’t just write everyone as being aro/ace or siblings, though I kind of want to. I wish I wasn’t such a procrastinator and had more energy to spare on responding to comments, because I really do love them and appreciate them.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
Only if you count gen as a rarepair, which it kind of is. Otherwise, no ships for me, ever. I tried it. Didn’t much like it.
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
70. Some of them are reposts. Eventually I need to get all of my fics over to AO3. It’s definitely the superior platform nowadays.
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
Unposted? Mm, more than five, less than a dozen. I tend to post things as soon as I’m halfway satisfied, because I crave that sweet, sweet feedback.
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
They’re mostly up in my head. If it changes by the time I start to write it, that’s fine. And if I forget an idea, a new one will come along sooner or later. I write in the now.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Yes, a few times, most recently with ardett for Sewing Patches. It was a great experience.
16. How did you discover AO3?
Back when it was just getting started, I got an invite to the beta from an LJ friend. It wasn’t until years later that I got into sports anime fandom and decided I wanted to start using it, so I searched my email to find that years-old invite and used it.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
I’m well-known in the gen corner of my fandom, which is not the same thing as being a BNF in the fandom as a whole. I have no doubt that 99% of Klance fans have no idea who I am, and Klance basically IS the Voltron fandom, much to my annoyance. But I’m fine with the way things are. I interact with cool people all the time and get to show them awesome stuff and get nice feedback when I post fics, and that’s what I want.
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
Nah. That seems kind of pretentious and arrogant.
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
I’ve wanted to write since before I knew how to read, as far back as I can remember. As soon as I understand that those scribbles on a page meant something and told stories, I wanted to tell my own. Certainly in my teenage years I was very inspired by the fantasy and science fiction authors I adored, like Tolkien, Lewis, MacDonald, Orson Scott Card, Stephen King, Tamora Pierce, etc. I have been encouraged along the way by many, many fellow writers, as well. But as far as an instigating person at the very beginning, I can’t think of one. I just always knew that this was what I wanted to do with my life.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Just do it. Post it if you’re brave, keep it to yourself if you’re not. Make yourself happy first. Find one person who will read and enjoy your stuff, otherwise it will get stale writing only for yourself. But first and foremost, stoke the fire in your own belly until you have no choice but to use it, to let it fly from your fingers in words and paragraphs. Once you start, keep going, even when the fire burns low. Discipline is more important than inspiration in the long term, but inspiration is how you start.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
Mostly the latter. I’ve written from outlines in the past, and I sometimes do extensive freewriting before I start something to give myself some semblance of structure, but working from a strict outline isn’t really fun for me. I’d much rather  discover the story as I go. I subscribe to the Stephen King school of writing, the idea that a story is a boulder you dig up with a lot of hard work and exploring. Granted, that doesn’t always work perfectly, and it can lead to stories that are overlong and oddly structured or dissatisfying, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take in order to enjoy the process as much as possible.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
Occasionally, mostly not on AO3. My feedback there is by and large very kind and enthusiastic. Every once in a while I’ll get a weird comment on ff.n complaining about some choice I made or chastising me for not doing what they wanted or expected with the story. Mostly I just laugh and let them go, though they used to bother me a lot. Once in a while they’ll make a solid point, and I’ll think about it, and maybe change the story a bit to satisfy the issue that’s bothering me, not for their satisfaction but for my own. That’s exceedingly rare, though. I think I’ve done it twice.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
Action is hard, yes. Dialogue and emotional scenes come easily, so naturally that’s the bulk of my stuff.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
My ongoing series and stories are all currently in posting. I have some ideas on the backburner that I haven’t started working on yet, but I’m not the kind of writer who finishes a project before posting, so there’s nothing going on that my readers don’t already know about.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
Often as I’m finishing up a long project my mind will already be working on what’s next, yes. Not really planning so much as just daydreaming and working out scenarios in my head, but I do like that I never run out of things to do.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
I try to write at least 750 words every day. Not always fiction, though, sometimes it’s freewriting or a diary entry. This post will probably be my writing for today. 
27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?
Indubitably, since for the very first story I wrote I asked my mom how to spell the word “fan.” I was five.
28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?
Oof, that’s hard. In Voltron, probably Bury the Sun. I keep going back and re-reading that one. It just…hits my buttons. On purpose. I did that. In all of my fandoms ever, probably Coming Down on a Sunny Day. It came together in an extremely satisfying way, and I’m very proud of it, even though the last part never got very much feedback since the fandom had moved on by the time I wrote and posted it.
29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?
I started writing an original fantasy fiction called Cat by Night with the idea of posting it on Amazon and making money with it. But I started it out in very YA fashion with an incipient romance, and it just bored me to tears. I hated it. I couldn’t do it. Romance is not for me.
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
I would love to develop my original fiction and discipline myself enough to actually start publishing stuff on Amazon and eventually make enough money to live on, maybe with the help of Patreon. RIght now, though, fanfiction takes up all my creative energy, and I don’t know how I would justify making a living off that.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Making characters cuddle.
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Getting characters to the point where the cuddling makes sense and feels in character.
33. Why do you write?
For the sake of the cuddles, mostly. Also because I can’t imagine not writing.
No tagging today because I’m exhausted, but feel free if you want to do this. 
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