#this post ended up being mostly about my comic but! I promise I've got some fun illustrations coming soon!

[solstrix]

Lately on my art journey

My spring uni semester has begun, and with it, I fear the momentum that carried me during the break is starting to fade. I have much to do in very little time (spring classes are like that), so I might be less active artwise, and especially on here...

But I refuse to be inactive. Here's what's been going on:

During my break between semesters, I got back into working on my comic. I am very fond of that story and of its characters, but I had found myself in a several-months-long block of working on it. There were a couple reasons for this. The first and most legitimate was that between work and study, I didn't have much time or energy to dedicate to comic-making. But the second and less legitimate reason, was perfectionism. Because the comic had now become a labour of a couple of years, and I want it to be the best I can possibly make it, which meant I feared even the slightest imperfection on my part. And the longer I went without drawing, the more I felt I was rusty and incapable of doing that project justice.

Here's the thing I think people don't tend to emphasize enough about perfectionism, and something I've recently had to learn the hard way: perfectionism is not a strength. Perfectionism is a poison that undermines and delegitimizes your skill and the work you put into something. Things are worth making and putting out there even if they are flawed.

Being suddenly without a job, and out of classes, gave me the boost I needed to get back to work on comics, which made me discover my next weakness; perspective. Turns out that figuring out a scene's perspective is something my brain really truly struggles with. I tried and tried, using rulers and perspective tools and rules to turn my rough sketches into proper perspective, but it never seemed to work the way it should. the angles just did not gel. At this point I remembered I had built the comic's setting, a victorian manor, in the sims 4 for this exact reason. Still, this felt like cheating, but I've come to terms with it. Tracing the angles of a screenshot in perspective allows me to get the panel to a satisfactorily finished state, and in time, will train my eye to find these perspective lines by itself. Using these screenshots is not a crutch, it's a tool, it's training wheels. There's nothing wrong with it.

The comic is still a long ways away, but I cannot wait to have a project up for the world to see, something I can point to as proof of my ability both to tell a story, and to bring a project to reality.

I have other things I want to say, but this post is long enough already. More to come soon!

Sincerely,

Solilakoi

[footandantlers]

Introducing my 381k Payneland fic!

Some of you may have seen my post yesterday about how I wasn't sure on how I should post this monstrosity of a fic but the vast majority of you requested that I post it in chapters! So here's all the information you need to know about it.

When and how will it be posted?

The first chapter will be posted on the 9th of September. There will be 30 chapters in total all stretching out to be between 10-15k each. By this schedule the fic should roughly finish up April of next year! However the full thing is written so I may feel generous and occasionally post twice a week however I'd like to build a community! So I'll be creating a tag for you guys to follow over here where I'll post snippets, extended scenes and scrapped scenes. When the fic ends I also have alternative endings written out that you guys might like! Depending on the popularity of this fic I might end up even creating a discord server, I'm not particularly sure how this fic will do but I'm a huge fan of connecting with my readers, more about a discord server below.

Is the fic titled yet? What's it about?

Yes it is! The fic will be called 'My Godforsaken Loverboy' and it's an AU of Edwin and Charles being dorm mates at St. Hilarions spanning five years. It's very much a slow burn that may drive you insane but I promise I spent forever going through Tumblr hunting down popular head canons and dynamic wishes that seemed popular to throw in this fic so hopefully there's something for everyone! A proper summary will be released soon!

Is this based off the Netflix Series?

Here's where I may lose some people. While it's definitely got plenty of aspects from the Netflix shows (Mostly character wise) I planned the entire fic around the comics and Doom Patrol's season three episode 'Dead Patrol' so the dynamics may be different to what you'll be expecting if you've only watched the Netflix show! I apologise if this throws some people off but I adore them in Doom Patrol dearly.

Now a question for you guys, do we want a discord server?

I'd love a discord server centred around Dead Boy Detectives in general! Where we could share head cannons, fanart, fic recs, ect in more of a discussion way instead of screaming into a void. So here's my idea, I'm more than happy to create an overall Dead Boy Detectives server however it'd just have a channel or two dedicated purely to this fic but I'd have plenty of other channels for different fics as well! I've been on servers like this before and really enjoyed them. Send me a message if you like this idea so I don't lose track of you and if I get enough people I'll make it!

PS. Sorry to those that wanted it posted as a one shot 😔 I decided this seemed the most manageable and reasonable

[texeoghea]

in the interest of differentiating more for myself and the ppl who keep following me for my insane out of context doodles

SURVIVAL AU (tagged #survival au): mine. basic premise is akechi is resurrected by an outside force after the events of persona 5 royal, to fill a similar role to what he does in the game. he is warned of this by a separate force that is also a pawn in the game, and with that knowledge, aims to take control of his life and destroy the concept of fate, freeing himself and possibly future wild cards from being forced into the cosmic battle between Philemon and Chaos. takes place in Ireland, and has multiple parts. the first part takes place concurrently to Persona 5 Strikers, the second part involving Sumire happens 2 years after P5R. later parts skip in decade intervals. ik ik his death was warranted he was doomed by the narrative etc i just think goro akechi as a character would also out of spite refuse to die the way he did if given the chance to take it back, because he would want to die on his own terms and not under the influence or control of another, whether that be a person or a god. especially if its a god even. and kurusu got to kill a god akechi deserves to do that too its only fair. i do have plans to script and eventually turn this idea into a comic, because i've made a LOT of ocs and lore for it and i think about it often. the rough draft of the first 3 chapters were on ao3, but i deleted that because i ended up scrapping those parts entirely

Aisling originates in this AU, and arguably has a large role, but she was mostly made for a Persona thing that's more original, which i'm making with my friends. Celeste is also an OC from a different verse that i reformatted for the friend oc persona bash. if youre interested in her you'll Probably find more of her in her other, original tag, #astriferous harmonia celestica, from my pokemon AU, Destinations.

MONKEY'S PAW AU (tagged #monkeys paw au): created by me and @oatchi. basically akechi realizes that he's in a time loop (mimicking the nature of P5 as a video game/save resets) and gains the ability to remember previous loops from Yaldabaoth. he then proceeds to reset time A Lot to try and 1. escape the time loop 2. get revenge on shido 3. ruin akira kurusu's life. ive made like 4 posts for this and theyre all incredibly disjointed due to the nature of time loops but i figure if im gonna post some i might as well give people Something. its me and callies little sandbox tho i cant even promise how much more will get posted we are here to have fun

[kelmcdonald]

Failure to Launch Crowdfund is Launching!

This is crossposted with my newsletter. Sign up for it here! 

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a good January. Lots of things coming up this month!

Firstly, as the title says Failure to Launch's crowdfunding has gone live. Failure to Launch is a light-hearted, educational tour of (so far!) unrealized technological and societal advances promised in years past, but which never came to be. What could have been, but wasn't. It tells the tales of planned utopias in space, wild inventions, attempts to improve society, robot pets, and predictions of armageddon! History is often written by the winners, but this time join us in spotlighting those who didn't let failure stop their dreams. I edited it and drew a story. My story is titled Paradise Within the Reach of All Men. It's written by Ryan North and io9 posted a sample!

Later toward the end of the month, I'm doing a live reading of Fame and Misfortune. It will be Saturday February 25th at noon PST on my twitch. Some friends will be playing different roles. Then I'll answer some reader questions after the reading. Post any questions you got to this public patreon post. 

Also while not in February, it's early enough in March that I wanted to mention it now. March 2nd-5th I'll be at Emerald City Comic Con. They haven't sent a map yet, but I'll try to post it in March's newsletter. 

The full moon was yesterday, so I didn't get this out in time. But we watched Wolf Children. The next few moon is March 6/7. I'll probably do the movie on March 7th since I'll be driving back from ECCC on the 6th. Either way please join the discord so you don't miss the next full moon movie night.

As always I'll be streaming art on Twitch. My schedule is currently the following:

Tuesday 8pm-10pm PST

Wednesday 8pm-10pm PST

Thursday 6pm-9pm PST (during the Iron Circus Geekshow)

As for last month, what you might have missed is You are the Chosen One is back to updating on Patreon. I posted a PDF catch up for folks, because I know Patreon isn't great for catching up on reading comics.  Also, The City Between has a new storyline starting. It's up early on my Patreon, but will start posting on my website this month.

This past month I did my best to work on Meredith McClarren and I's graphic novel Blue Moon. I'm behind on writing it because I've been a little buried with editorial work for Iron Circus and Seven Seas. A lot of my free time this month will go to trying to finish that one up. 

On the editorial front, I'm putting the finishing touches on Failure to Launch. I'm also getting the ball rolling on a new anthology about committing crimes. It's called Perfect Crime Party. That will be fun to get the ball rolling on. At Seven Seas I'm editing the manga for one of my favorite recent animes, Life of an Ordinary Guy reincarnated as a Fantasy Knockout. It's a very funny parody of fantasy books and romantic comedies. I recommend checking it out the anime or the manga once it's out. 

Staying on top of all that and exercising every morning has been pretty rough. But it's getting easier. I had trouble sticking with it after SDCC and ECCC being so close together last year. So doing Emerald City Comic Con will be the test on if I can stick with it. I've mostly been watching stuff while on the treadmill.  Here's stuff I watched and read this month

My Love Mix Up vol 6 by Wataru Hinekure and Aruko - I mentioned this in my newsletter a year ago. But My Love Mix Up is one of my favorite regular reads. It's very cute. The bisexual main character starts the series with trying to figure out his feelings for two crushes (one guy and one girl). Now that it's been going on awhile the series has moved on to the main character navigating dating another guy. I like it because the character conflicts are mostly about them figuring out their own feelings rather than miscommunication. I find people needing that time and space to sort out their feelings and thoughts really appealing. Like the love interest is dating the main character and hasn't had a crush or feelings for anyone before. He sometimes comes off as detached or disinterested in they relationship. So compared to the heart on his sleeve main character, the conflict doesn't need miscommunication. Because if someone needs time and space, that's a conflict that can only be resolved with said space and time.

The Night Eaters by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda -  I picked this up because I like Monstress by the same creative team. The art is beautiful just like Monstress. Currently, I think I prefer Monstress because that hit the ground running. But The Night Eaters was mostly setting things up for the series. The main characters are twins that don't understand their immigrant mother. They have a good dynamic and I like their back and forth as they learn their family's supernatural secrets. I'm gonna grab volume 2 and maybe now that groundwork is laid it will really knock volume 2 out of the park.

Lost in the Moment and Found by Seanan McGuire - This is the newest volume of The Wayward Children Series. If you don't know it, the series follows kids that had a portal fantasy adventure and came back. Mostly the kids are called to their respective fantasy worlds because those worlds fix the kid better. I always like this series and end up grabbing the book the day it comes out. This one follows a girl who ends up in an in-between world which is where lost things magically end up. It is better for her because her home life has gone to hell and it's a sanctuary for her. She doesn't realize what she is giving up to stay though. It has some good thoughts and observations about how people treat children. All the Wayward Children protagonists have rough home life, but this one starts especially rough.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio - I loved this version of Pinocchio. I always like Del Toro's designs and the stop motion animation was lovely. I especially liked the design for Death.

Watership Down Mini Series - I also watched the Watership Down Mini Series that came out a few years ago. While the acting was good, I think it feel for the trap that happens a lot with cg animation. They rabbits look too realistic and that kinda robs them of personality. The visuals didn't really sell the horror of the book or the old 2nd movie.

First Kill - This and the next thing on this list made me think about how quickly netflix cancels stuff extremely quickly. If you aren't familiar with it, First Kill is the teen lesbain vampire romance series they put out last summer and quickly canceled. It follows a vampire and a vampire hunter who fall for each other while their families are fighting one another. It is EXTREMELY bad and not in a fun way. The whole show is very poorly thought out and seems slapped together. While it wants you to think Romeo and Juliet with the two leads, it is established that after being bit a human becomes devoted to a vampire. So one member of those pair has their freewill compromised. It is then brushed aside. And the vampire girl doesn't want to kill, but is told she has to. Why? Well, she just has to. We see other vampires feed from willing donors and not kill them, but it's never established why she can't just do that. The vampire also has to keep keep the fact that she is a vampire secret but then it turns out the whole world already knows about vampires. I could go on, but all the examples of what's wrong can be summed up as a lack of thought being put in to anything. And at the end of the day it's also boring. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to think you were getting gay version of Buffy or True Blood and instead getting this.

That 90s Show - I watched a lot of That 70s Show as a teen. And I've been watching a youtuber named Jose do retrospectives of different sitcoms. After watching the That 70s Show one, I decided to check out That 90s Show. Overall, That 90s Show is just okay. I think the new teen actors have a decent chemistry, are unique, and their jokes are funny. But they don't really have time to explore/find their feet. Way too much time is spent on cameos for the cast of That 70s Show. The set up for the show is that Donna and Eric's daughter Leia is spending the summer with her grandparents Red and Kitty. So Donna and Eric being in the first episode as well as Red and Kitty all fit in the show fine. But the problem comes up when it turns out the single mom next door is dating Fez and her landlord is the guy Fez had a rivalry with. So now instead of sticking with the teen main characters, we are spending all this time rehashing Fez's joke from That 70s Show. And when Leia likes a boy with the last name Kelso, both Jackie and Micheal invade Kitty and Red's kitchen to repeat their usual fight. Something like this happens once per episode. And it's a shame because I think the teen characters holding their own would have better served the show. It left me wondering what season 2 would be like, but since it's on Netflix it will most likely never get that chance.

Watching all those sitcom retrospectives and listening to the Always Sunny Podcast (the crew of always sunny are rewatching their old episodes). It made me think about how sitcoms usually don't find their feet until season 2. Nearly all the shows we think of as changing the landscape of television had poor ratings the first season. Sitcoms rarely have complicated premises and live or die on the chemistry of their cast. And you don't know what does and doesn't work until you actually make a couple of episodes. While dramas/dramadies are also in a rough place in a landscape where things either take off immediately or get canceled, seems like sitcoms are getting get the worst of this cancel happy time period we are currently in.  That's just something that's been on my mind lately, especially when shows I really like such as Inside Job have ended up on the chopping block.  Thanks everyone! Have a good month and thanks again for your support. I'm gonna start doing an art round up after each newsletter. So enjoy and have a good one.

[bylertruther]

hot take: people's hc's and hopes for s5 are the most angsty things i've ever read and i cannot imagine enough comfort in the world to balance out some of the angsty shit people are putting out there. we've already gotten 4 seasons of byler angst, haven't people had enough?? my fragile constitution cannot handle the dramatics. why do people write out mike and will saying the most heartbreaking shit to each other?? i just want them to forehead touch and kiss to a beautiful musical score. i want them to bake a loaf of bread together and eat it at sunset and then hold hands at nightfall. that's it, that's s5.

YOU AND ME BOTH, BROTHER 🤝

we've sat through four seasons of them getting their shit rocked, i'd like to believe that in season five they'll stick to their promise and finally be a team again for good this time. mike already admitted that he thought he was worrying too much about el to the point that he'd lost will--i don't want that to be the case again. obviously the First Lie is going to come up and has the potential to ruffle some feathers, but like .. i have had Enough lol<3 canon already has enough misery and frustration, i come on here to talk about them indulging in some gay shit. and considering the duffers aren't planning on making s5 as long as s4 was, i ESPECIALLY do not want their story to be mostly angst up until the second to last episode.

some people like the whump factor and to make angsty characters and ships even more angsty, but i am not one of them bc i have no undeniable 100% secured guarantee that there Will be a happy ending. once by|er is endgame and they have their smalltown boy era THEN i will give in to my angst demon tendencies but for now bro the duffers got that shit on lock!!! if i wanted an angst fest i would just rewatch the show like 😭😭😭😭 LMAOOOOO

but everyone is allowed to have their own headcanons and theories and write what they want obvi tbh this isn't hate towards anyone. i jus kno u will Never catch me reblogging tht shit, but i WILL be screaming crying wailing over the cute n tender headcanons tht people post bc those bring me joy<3 mike n will are already in superhell ok i want to pluck them from their story n drop them into a world where they CAN bake bread together, where mike can wipe the flour from will's cheek but ends up making even more of a mess, where will can decorate their foccacia and make it look so beautiful that mike feels bad eating it later, where mike and will can steal glances at each other under the stars when they think the other isn't looking, where will can sneak little comics he doodled into mike's locker and textbooks for him to find later, where will draws on mike's hand and forearm bc mike is thinking abt a tattoo but too pussy to go through with it, where he can then try his best to return the favor and it's fucking awful LMAO but will loves it sm bc it's mike and he'll never say no to mike putting his hands on him, and where they can slowdance in will's room (bc they Never hang out in mike's room and as such don't want to draw suspicion), and where they can flirt by comparing hand sizes as is tradition like will putting their hands together and being like "wow haha ur hand is so big! :)" and mike is just so so so red screaming dying inside pressing the tips of his fingers down a lil bit bc he wants to lace their fingers together but he doesnt know if will is jus being will or if they're having a category 5 lgbt moment right now so he just chokes out a "yeah haha 😳 crazy..." and gulps like a dweeb, and and and-----

[colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl]

Please tell me I'm not alone:

#writers on tumblr

Going what is intended to be a maybe 1 or 2 hour story ramble that had a set purpose. Start talking about situations, forgetting or being caught in the midn as you record or just ramble to think through the story. End up going past two hours as you describe only to yourself for notes intricate plot details, random facts on other characters, or more world building. Next you check another two hours goes but you are on such a streak you promise to go and get soemthingntoneat to your growling stomach soon as this thought finishes which is almost clearly done. But then over explaining the plot to no one but yourself more of what you know but want recorded down. Going I promise at this time to turn it off. Next you check it's an hour past that point of stop time you set fir yourself. But your finally wrapping it up! Just a little more, few more minutes you tell yourself. Only to check the clock realizing there is no stop and it's agin two yours since you made that comment this sesh keeps going what you were enar wrapping up only found a way to add m.j ro plotted scenes to your mind and dekwelling on what if scenarios for a story that hasn't yet been released.🤣😂

Literally describes me making recorded note from 8:40 PM-6:40 AM.🤣😂😅😭😢

I've got a headache now!!! It worries me that my recording program says only 3:47 (hrs/min) but it was continually recording. Makes me wonder if I missed and or wasted more talking and it will come out as jibberish.😢😭😅😂🤣

Heres the art work that kept me company during these long periods.

Note comic is not the actual comic, but another proof of concept to a later scene I wanted to play around with for some time now, and I'm near writting the chapter out for, fully. I've written certain scenes for it throughout to keep plot details consistent of what has to happen. Before I have written it. Although most of the outline has been written story elements ahve changed from my initial outline. Just was jotting down on paper before I tried anything with it digitally.

This is mostly a mess & not in anyway my best drawing (looking to the weird outstretched hand. That was just a random quick drawing without reference jsut trying tonmoce through the drawing quick. But leaving enough deletsik for me to hbderstandbthebintetion should I go with the same story movement here when implementing the chapter. This was me just trying out a few things I wanted to see out on paper to make sure what I was seeing in my head would translate well in a comic. Not all are detailed slides but with enough detail to what I for myself am going for and wanting at said times to understand with a quick glance.

E.g the quickly drawn hand is so not the best drawn hand just a quick render to know what I wanted. Or for reference I had one short box presenting a dark area of thhe short dialogues pacing between frames. This I later returned and drew the figures standing instead over the current dialogue given instead the same impression the short dialogue gave using perspective to shape this and drawing over dialogue that may be unnecessary. But instead make it in between two more prominent frames a similarly long one added pulled back image of the scene. Allowing for more emotion to be felt through the black space surrounding the characters.

Similarly in my first proof of concept I hinted to a while bsck in a previous update shwoing some images from it. Where elements have since been added like this change and added slides as it is like yg to make it into the story, but the concept remained to ensure the way I was intending things would work to be added. But it in itself may be as is or in an adapted way make it in the comic or stay outside it maybe to be posted as a side story alongside a rest period or just something I show later patreons, etc . This is just a frame of reference to use as I get further along and a way for me to ensure directions I'm headed would work in the way I intend.

The below is related to S.T.R.Y.

[mostly-mundane-atla]

@gayfertilitygoddess i've thought about it pretty extensively. Before I got popular-ish for being a real life eskimo in the fandom, i made a passing coment about the headcanon and it was my most requested topic until people started asking more cultural questions (names and language-related questions seem to be more popular now).

Funnily enough, and I do try to keep this blog otherwise drama free, this was springboarding off of discussions about headcanons with Jin in sex work, which got an absolute brat calling me a "pathetic, sexist loser" in a reblog of the post. I kept it off the main tag and tagged it "sex work mention" (as I do with all of these posts) so I have no idea how she found it to make gross accusations at me. I reblogged to say that her insisting that objective discussions of sex work were inherently slut-shaming was really hurtful as someone who had to consider it from a young age (home isn't always safe and favors/cash are useful at -30°F, we'll just leave it at that). She sent me asks to say that she "didn't mean to be hurtful" but also wouldn't apologize for what she said. She didn't have a damn thing to say about headcanon'ing Jet resorting to sex work, despite it having much more to do with his personality and the way he presents himself than with Jin, where it was entirely about her circumstances as someone in the poor side of a big city. She's since been blocked.

But yeah, Jet's most marketable asset to civilians who just want to escape violence is his charisma. His own comments and Smellerbee's suggest he promised that he'd stop fighting and stealing for the time being. He tells Zuko-as-Lee that "We [outcasts] have to watch each other's backs. Because no one else will." Zuko had his uncle to be his rock and managed to rely on the kindness of strangers when he went on his own. Jet had two friends whom he felt responsible for as their leader. We don't even get canon confirmation that he's fully literate. All of these things combined make finding any kind of employment very difficult, and that doesn't even take into consideration that he can't set down roots. He's trying to get to safety. He can't be obligated to stay in any one place that isn't his destination. There aren't a lot of options.

I feel like this would add to him needing to get out of territory that could be occupied by thee Fire Nation, given the comics explained that Firelord Sozin was a homophobe and worked that into the law. "You know what they've done to boys like me this past century," Jet would probably say. "And those were the ones on their own side." I can't imagine it wouldn't add to the amatanormative mess I write between him and Smellerbee. He shouldn't have to do this at all let alone by himself, and she tries to offer to help, to pitch in, but he scolds her for it so harshly that she cries. He apologizes later and and tells her she needs to just let him worry about it. Girls are supposed to like it when boys are fiercely protective and self-sacrificing, right?

Another thing about this headcanon is sex workers do and historically have done a lot more than most people tend to think. It's one of the reasons phrases like "selling their body" are grossly inaccurate. There is a lot of emotional labor involved. Some people who hire sex workers do so mostly for the company. Not in an "ahem [*eyebrow wiggle*] company, if you catch my meaning [*wink*]" way, like just actually having another human being in the room. Talking, smiling, laughing at their jokes. People get lonely, so it's only natural to pay someone for intimacy. Sometimes, more often than you might assume, they end up using that time more for emotional intimacy than physical intimacy. Sometimes that's the intention.

I wrote a scene with a situation like that. Jet is hired by an old widow because she claims he looks just like her husband did when they were that young. She holds his hand and kisses his cheek, laughing about how that was the farthest the old man had let her get before they were married, and asks him to help her make dinner. She sings and talks about how they used to walk by the river and how handsome he was, how very shy. At some point she stops saying "he" and starts saying "you," addressing Jet as if he was the man she married all those years ago.

"Am I still pretty?" she asks absentmindedly. "Am I as pretty as you'd say I'd be with lines on my face, a hunched back, and hair like clouds?"

"Of course," Jet says. "You're beautiful."

And she looks at him, but that seems to shatter the illusion. She mentions something about making too much food. That she hadn't had to cook that much since.... Silence. The sad kind that seems to suggest another tragedy. She tells him he should take some for his friends and thanks him for all he's done.

(There was also an OC concept I had who was a gay sex worker sharing his home with queer artist friends at the tail end of Firelord Sozin's reign, but this post is already long enough)

[greycappedjester]

Hi I'm so sorry I'm just too shy to ask this on ao3 but I was wondering: how is Slade's relationship with Dick? I don't mind them as a ship in general but in the story sometimes I feel like Slade gets too close to Dick and I thought if there was something platonic on his side? I'm sure you wouldn't do that in the story that's why I'm asking if it's only on Slade's side. Sorry if this is a stupid question lol. Maybe it's just because I've read sl/adedick fics before. ^^D

Nah, I’ve actually been waiting for someone to ask about that. So....it’s complicated and will take awhile to explain so I’m putting it under a Read More before I get too long winded with my character headcanons:

This is going to get soooooo long, lol, so feel free to skim. Warning for Gotham in general and Gotham being naturally a bad place for kid vigilantes to grow up in. Also because this explanation gets somewhat dark in character interpretation....

Bonus short story at the end after a really long post.

-------

Alright, so first, I feel like I should mention again that I never watched the Teen Titans animated show past maybe the first two episodes and the movie my friends wanted me to watch that I don’t really remember. (I meant to watch that show, just never got around to it). I say this because I heard that the Teen Titans TV show portrayed the Dick and Deathstroke relationship much differently in a way that’s cool and fine but not something I can see myself really wanting to write about. I know their relationship more from comics where Dick was already an adult (albeit a young adult) when he first met Slade. 

So. Back to my After the Fall of Olympus universe and yeah, I’m slowly getting to my answer. The thing is....the story is entirely in Dick’s POV right now.

And Dick’s absolutely terrible at reading and picking up any form of affection others have for him. He understands it abstractly (he knows people care) but when assessing, he critically underestimates it if he remembers to account for it at all. This goes even worse with people he’s closer to--which is why it took him forever to realize why Jason actually did want to stay with him at the manor and why he still has no idea Barbara is in love with him. Even Kory who was really, really direct about liking him, it took him years to fully emotionally process and respond to that. He’s getting better...but remembering his own value (in others eyes) isn’t something he’s overwhelming good at doing.

My headcanon, he is abnormally good at reading people and picking up basic sexual attraction. He’s good at telling when he’s being flirted with or when people are attracted to him and, honestly, Dick’s charismatic and instinctively a flirt, too.With that, partly from growing up in Gotham with its weird and supremely dark villains, I think Dick very much divorces the two concepts of romantic attraction and sexual flirting in his mind--he’s aware they can go together, obviously with Kory--but he doesn’t naturally pair them as other people probably would. It’s also part of why he just doesn’t get the level of concern Tim has about Catalina.

Okay, back to my point.

The way I write Slade and Dick’s relationship is actually mostly done off screen. But, I think Slade started with approval of Dick’s skills and potential in a clinical/objective view, growing respect and interest (personal but not at all romantic) in him as a person, and much more recently in the story (as in that last conversation he had in Ch. 18), I think Slade realized he has some legitimate attraction and cares a lot about Dick in a way that’s probably romantic.

Slade also is very, very aware immediately that he’s not going to do anything with that and, in a way, doesn’t want to because Dick ever responding to that would be jeopardizing his relationship with his family, his team, his view of his morals (which are so integral to Dick) in a way that would be exceptionally out of character and concerning coming from Dick. In other words, something happening would be a lot more terrifying than nothing happening and Slade cares.

For Dick, it’s a lot more simple. He does not have any romantic feelings there. He does in a somewhat analytical, unconscious way recognize that Slade’s probably attracted to him (probably before Slade noticed honestly) but he’s....well, kind of used to that at some level. More so, Dick doesn’t connect it to emotional care and--like with everyone else--vastly underestimates that Slade does care about him in a way that’s actually pretty selfless for a mercenary. For a romance, your guess is absolutely right, it’s not going to go anywhere in this series but I wanted the undertones and implications to be there in the final third of the story

....But, that’s also more of a later/recent development in that relationship. For most of the story that’s posted so far, Slade sees his relationship with Dick as a lot of respect and even care but not as romantic in any way. I can promise no romantic undertones at all until Dick was already in his 20s because I really, really am not interested in writing underage. (for those curious about Slade’s age in the story, I think of him as mid-20s in his introduction in Year 3 and pretty early 30s here to Dick’s early 20s)

Above everything, they respect each other and would be almost friends if that were possible.

The team and his family doesn’t know any of this.

Anyway, that was long, so here’s a bonus short story from Slade’s view. I write a lot of After the Fall of Olympus short stories in other charcter’s views that I’m not planning on posting until After the Fall of Olympus.

This one’s between Year 5 and 6 and is titled “October 7th”:

-------

It’s October 7th, almost two in the morning, and Slade’s camped out in a somehow still standing bombed out apartment in a no-name village in the middle of a war-torn country.

He’s not exactly expecting visitors.

There’s a knock on the apartment door.

Slade cocks his gun and puts two rounds in the door before, for good measure, adding matching ones on either side of the frame.

He has two seconds to let himself pretend that’s the end of it before the door knob turns to the unmistakable sound of a skilled lock pick. 

Fuck, he’s too tired for this shit today. 

“Geeze, Slade, what if I’d been an innocent civilian?”

Slade’s hand stills on the gun in surprise then consideration before slowly slipping it back into the holster. 

“Kid,” he greets. “There’s no innocent civilians left around here. ‘Specially ones that can make it to my door without me hearing any footsteps.”

“I’ve been working on that.” Dick says, walking into the apartment. He isn’t even wearing his uniform, just plain black military style clothes with the lower half of his face covered by a piece of cloth. He pushes it down and smiles as he presses the door shut behind him. “You did tell me to get better, after all.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” he mutters without much heat. “You getting better almost left me out of a job.”

Dick rolls his eyes. “Please, as if both of us don’t know Luthor could’ve gotten out of those charges in months. If the Light didn’t erase them for him, anyway.”

Slade shrugs. Maybe another time, he’d find the energy to banter back. But not today. Never today.

“Why are you here, Dick? How’d you find me?”

The smile slides off of Dick’s face, leaving behind those far too heavy eyes to belong to an eighteen year old.

“You know I have your file, Slade.” Dick clears his throat. “I know what day it is.”

….Fuck.

It’s not like he expected anything else. Not since the moment he saw the kid. But, still...he doesn’t want to deal with this. Doesn’t want to deal with anything. Today, he just wants to crawl back into the worst, most deserted corner of the world he can find until the hours creep passed and he can find the energy to move.

Instead, he glares. “Good for you. Now get the fuck out, kid.”

Dick grimaces but shakes his head. “Not until you answer a question for me.”

Slade groans and, for a handful of seconds, honestly contemplates just killing him, considers it in a way that he hasn’t since before he even met the kid, back when he was first handed a file by a practically no name organization called H.I.V.E.

He’d regret it later. Sure. He has too much he wants to see out of the kid to kill him in a shitty, dusty apartment. But, that regret would come later. Later, once this day had finally passed.

That alone is almost enough to have him reaching for his gun. Almost

“Grayson,” he finally grounds out, “if you know what day it is, you know I’m not exactly inclined to play our game of hero and villain right now. You want information, find someone else.”

“Good, I’m not here to play either. Only problem is I can’t ask anyone else, you're the only one who knows the answer.” Dick lowers himself to sit on the floor across from him, like a particularly stupid mouse in front of a viper.

And then, he looks up and his eyes are too steady to belong to prey.

“Here’s the question: Do you really want to be alone today, Slade?”

The breath catches in Slade’s`lungs, harsher than if the kid had just punched him.

He pushes the reaction down, already knowing it’s too late, and says in the steadiest voice he can manage, “Yes.”

Dick stares at him, unmoving. “I don’t believe you.”

The air around them is too tight, too burning, and Slade’s being pushed down under it to suffocate. 

He can’t fight it, so he takes it and pushes it back into anger. “The fuck, kid! What do you know?  You said you have my file, yeah? How long have you had it? Because I’m betting you’ve had it since we first met!” He lunges forward. “So, why are you here now, Dick? What makes this year so special? What’s made you decide to pretend to care now? Because whatever it is, kid, I can promise you, I’m not worth it. So, leave!”

By the end, he’s gripping Dick’s shirt, pulling it tighter until the collar has to be digging painfully into his neck. 

Dick doesn’t look away. “No.”

Slade doesn’t look away either. “You know I really think I might kill you right now.”

“You won’t.”

 One of Slade’s hands moves until it’s pressing into the kid’s neck. A single sharp twist and he could snap it. “So sure?”

Dick nods.

“And why’s that?”

“Because I brought your favorite whiskey.”

A brown bag is pressed into Slade’s ribs and the man feels something rising in his chest that could possibly be laughter if it was some other time.

He drops the kid.

He takes the bag.

“Pretty sure heroes aren’t supposed to be contributing to alcoholism, kid.” He gestures to a half empty bottle of much cheaper stuff beside him.

Dick coughs, rubbing at his throat. “Please. With your metahuman metabolism, I bet you can barely feel it for an hour.”

“Depends how much I drink,” Slade counters, eyeing the bottle. “How’d you know my favorite?”

Dick shrugs. “Gotta keep some secrets to myself.”

He fishes out a spare shot glass from somewhere in the black folds of his outfit and pours a small glass for himself. 

Slade raises an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, you’re still 18, kid.”

Dick gives him an incredulous look in return. “Last time I checked, this place doesn’t have a drinking age...or a government, actually.”

Slade hums, amused, using a larger glass for himself. “True, but thought you’d be following the laws of your own birth city a little closer, hero. Gotham’s still at 21...on the record at least.”

“Technically, Gotham’s not my birth city.” Dick snorts and takes the shot. 

Slade tilts his head. “Where were you born?”

Dick pauses, thinking, before offering a sheepish smile. “You know….I actually have no idea. Somewhere in Europe, probably? I came early, the circus was still on tour. One of the lion tamers helped deliver me, used to be a doctor.”

“Always a surprise, kid,” Slade shakes his head, draining his glass. Tasting it in his mouth and pretending it’s enough to wash away the ash.

The next words come before he can stop them.  “...Adeline always wanted two kids.”

Dick goes quiet.

“Of course,” Slade says to his glass and fuck it, just fuck it,  “turns out we didn’t even get the one. Turns out I didn’t get either my wife or my son.”

Fuck, he hates October 7th.

He reaches for the whiskey, ignoring how his hand shakes. “Addy was a soldier, you know? A good one. Of all the stupid fucking ways she could go, I never thought it’d be childbirth. Maybe I should have. Always knew I’d kill her somehow.”

“You didn’t kill her, Slade,” Dick says softly.

“Sure. Whatever,” he agrees, too tired to argue. It’s not as if he hasn’t heard every variation sometime or another. It’s just right now, he can’t quite bring himself to debate about the cause when the end of it’s always going to be the same.

Dick drops the subject and the relief that Slade feels  is immense enough that it’s close to gratitude.

“What was your son’s name?”

“Grant. We were going to name him Grant.” He takes another sip. “If we had another one, we were going to name him Joseph. Or Rose for a girl.”

“Those are good names.”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

Slade doesn’t answer, looking up to eye the kid over his drink. Dick sees it, holding up his own glass in acknowledgement before knocking it back.

“Why are you here, kid,” Slade asks again. “We’re not friends, pretty far fucking from it last time I checked.”

“I’ve got my reasons,” he answers calmly.

“If you’re here to make your usual sales pitch about the virtues of heroism, I really will kill you. Whiskey or not.”

Dick shakes his head. “....is it so hard to believe I just didn’t think you should be alone?”

Slade thinks his skepticism is loud enough without him needing the words.

The look Dick gives him is steady in return. “Think what you want to, Slade, I know what grief feels like. It’s a poison. It’ll kill you unless you find a way to drain it.” 

Dick looks down at his own glass and Slade gets the feeling the kid’s no longer talking about just Slade. It’s still a tossup whether he means himself or the Bat.

Either way, Slade makes sure his next smirk is particularly pointed. “And, look at you. Tracking me all the way down here to try and save my tortured soul. Such a hero.”

“Oh, shut up,” Dick says with an eye roll, pouring himself another drink

Slade cocks his head. “Speaking of, don’t all the good little heroes have school right about now.”

Dick looks up, almost sheepish. “I’m ditching my classes. Don’t tell my brothers, I’m still trying to be a good influence.”

Slade snorts and takes a particularly long swig.

A good influence. As if a single one of his stupid, fucking team doesn’t think the fricking sun shines out of the kid’s ass.

Fuck. What is Slade even doing? Sitting in a run down apartment in the middle of a warzone drinking whiskey with a too trusting kid a decade younger and that he probably should have killed years ago.

But, then, it’s always been exceedingly difficult for him to do what he should---what’s the sane and logical thing--when it comes to Dick Grayson. And, one day--when he doesn’t have the burn of booze sitting in his gut and his chest doesn’t ache like he’s been shot--Slade’s going to take a hard look at why that is.

For now, he’ll just leave it like he usually does. The kid’s too interesting to die yet. 

Dick eyes his shot glass, contemplatively. “This whiskey’s way too overpriced, Slade. It’s practically aged vodka.”

Slade finishes his off steadily. “Shows you have little taste, Grayson.”

Dick laughs and slides the bottle over. “I brought another one anyway.”

....Far, far too interesting.