#this post is gonna flop so horribly

[r0ttnw3b]

A bunch of portal

(I like Portal)

[fqiryspit]

FOOTBALL PLAYER EREN HEADCANONS

eren x fem!reader

cw: eren is head over heels for you, crazy fangirls, death threats, eren fucking you, you sucking him, etc etc

you've been in a relationship with eren before his hair was that long and when he stumbled nervously over everything.

he still looks back and cringes, wondering why you wanted to date him

you two have been lifelong friends and once you started your relationship things really were perfect.

eren's football career really took off in college, and he got a lot more attention from the girls on campus rather than old men.

soon he and his team were absolutely famous and you were so excited for him -and incredibly grateful your relationship was swiped under the rug during that time. he had millions of fan girls posting fics and edits of him daily, it was insane.

you asked him to not speak on your relationship -because he got those questions a lot so he just responds with a simple "I'm happy" when they get asked

he wants to -so badly- show you off. to laugh at all his annoying fan girls and bring you out, but, he respects your decision.

after his games, he is absolutely wrecked. he flops down onto the bed and you climb on top of him and start massaging his scalp and he just moans into the sheets

"did you have fun?"

"how was I supposed to have fun when you weren't there?" he says, needy as ever

"errreeen I'm not gonna be able to go that far for every game" you huff

.

and this man loves to spoil you. designer bags out of the blue, wait, did you just eye that coat? no worries, he's just gonna purchase that really quickly.

eren truly truly loves you, he knows he is gonna marry you, it's just a fact.

he melts when he is with you, always needing to hold you in some way and just have you near.

he fanaticizes about your wedding and babies with you late at night or when he's balls deep in you

"fuck, can't wait to fill you up with my babies, gonna make you a mommy"

and by the way, after a game. a win or a loss, he's fucking you.

if he won, he's letting his victory in your pussy, ramming into you over and over while your legs bend in abnormal positions every two seconds while he babbles about how he couldn't get his mind off you the whole time

if he lost...oh man. he's taking all that anger out on you. it goes on for hours until he is finally drained and calm while you lay there full of his cum.

before a conference, you give him a "good luck suck" because he hates going to them, and this makes him feel a lot better <3

.

his fans are crazy, and once they caught wind of your relationship, all hell broke loose.

a photo came to light of eren simply hugging you. you know how careful he is with that stuff so you hid it from him, knowing he rarely goes on social media it should be a breeze, right?

you had your knees up to your chest and a twisted brow on, reading through the death threats and horrible comments made about your appearance.

you're an idiot for not privating your account in time, they found you and are coming in full swing.

you felt your stomach sink, you shouldn't let them get to you, but they're pointing out insecurities you've been trying to bury

"you okay?"

you look up to see eren, in the doorway with a concerned look all over his face. you turn off your phone and put a smile on

"yeah, just stupid stuff" you chuckle uncomfortably. he walks over and climbs onto the bed

"what happened?" "nothing, eren"

he looked at you for a couple more seconds, giving you the option to tell him what was going on. then his eyes slowly traveled to your phone you tossed across the bed. you reached for it franticly but he got it in time and as you yelled out his name he unlocked it with his face

everything on his face just dropped in an instant, he read through message after message about people wishing you dead, saying not-so-nice things about your looks, and more.

he asked when this started while he kept staring into the phone, then asked why you didn't tell him.

"I knew it would worry you, so I just-" "you need to tell me these things" he reached over to grab his phone as he started typing, you looked over to see him making a twitter post and you freaked

"don't say anything about it!" you plead, but it was too late, he made a simple post yelling at his 'fans' and then turned his phone off and held you

"please don't worry about those stupid messages"

.

in all, footballplayer!eren is the man of your dreams, and he hopes you haven't found the ring box in his sock drawer yet. <3

an: love him sm <3

[ofallthingsnasty]

H A T for Ace? Hehe

Yandere Alphabet

pffffft 😂 hey, i should be the one making cheesy jokes here skadjk honestly, it might be my grand old age (not really) but he's such a soggy little man to me. you have been warned - he's very different to the ones posted so far.

tw.yandere, emotional manipulation, minors dni

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The whole fucking relationship. He depends on you, needs you. You’re his band-aid, his childhood plushie, his mom, his sibling, his partner, his best friend - Ace is the everything-issues man and all those deep-seated insecurities and all that trauma, all that hurt is coming out when he’s with you. He’ll never hurt you physically but it’s going to be a total mindfuck for you. This whole thing clearly isn't right; he is definitely out of line, you're in this situation against your will - but he's like a wet cat when he's with you and it's not an act. You'll feel like you're losing your mind - caught between being scared and forced to dry the tears of a man who has basically decided that you're his ersatz family. Maybe he'll snap one day? He doesn't seem to be the type but he already went so far - you never know with Ace.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He’s extremely affectionate. He’s constantly touching you, playing with your hair, your clothes, your accessories. He wants you to touch him, too - just dote on him, please, show him that you’re there, that you care for him.  Cup his cheeks, cradle his head - he’ll practically melt into your touch. If you initiate it, he’ll be so happy.  (Don't overdo it, though. Or else he's gonna start crying and you don't want that. Absolutely ghoulish.)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Oh god, anything but tears, please. He simply can’t take those - it breaks his heart to see you sad. At first, he’ll try anything and everything to cheer you up - but it’s not only for you. It’s for him, too. I think he’s very unstable as a yandere, in the sense that he flip-flops between being delusional and being horribly self-aware of the things he has done to you. He didn't want to be a monster, ever. Now look at him, forcing someone into playing pretend with him. Maybe all those people were right and he really is a demon child.  But he can’t let you go, either. You soothe that sting in his heart, your touch is all he thinks about after a long day. As much as it eats away at him, he's too selfish to stop this.

So don’t cry, please, don’t make him face the reality of what this is. Play nice, play soft, play your part convincingly so he can forget about it all. Make him think you're here with him because you want to be and maybe he can finally believe that he deserves to be loved.

If your tears and silence don't get better, though - he’ll simply clam up and ignore you. Not out of malice, never out of malice - but he really can’t take it. He just reaches a certain point where he can't help you without spiraling himself and has to get away from those big, sad eyes.

[impala-dreamer]

Meet Me At The Beach

A Supernatural Story

~ Texting and emails can feel so impersonal. There's nothing quite like exchanging tangible, handwritten letters with someone you love...~

Dean Winchester x F!Reader, Sam Winchester

4,025 Words

Warnings: Bittersweet Angst. SFW. 

A/N: This is for @jacklesversebingo "Writing Letters To Each Other" was the prompt. I hope you enjoy...

June 2

Dear Dean, 

This feels so weird. Do people really write letters anymore? Am I going to get strange looks at the post office when I go to buy a stamp? Will they even know what to do with this tiny envelope and folded piece of loose-leaf paper? I almost don’t know how to write anymore. My script looks kinda like chicken scratch, huh? Hopefully it’ll get better. It is weird not typing though. But emails just seem like work. Impersonal, ya know? Besides, it gives us something to look forward to when we hit the mailbox. Nice to open something that’s not a delinquent credit card bill, huh? 

Speaking of which- how the fuck do you do it? I just got another card canceled. My credit is non-existent. Fuck, I need to get a job. Could you imagine me in an office? High heels and panty hose and my hair tucked into a neat, matronly bun? I shudder to think! 

OK, this is weird. I just wanted to write “LOL” but it’s not an email. Or a text. Why are we doing this again? Oh, yeah, see above. 

Anyhoo- - - - I don’t even know what to say! Umm… I’m in New Orleans for a bit. Not working, just hanging out. My friend Emily from high school tracked me down online and we’ve been chatty. She’s in a band. They’re not bad. Not great, but not bad. So yeah, I took a drive down to see a show and I’m just lingering. Drinking too much, sleeping past noon. It’s fun. Nice little vacation. 

Which - ahem - you should be taking. When are you gonna get your ass out of that dusty old bunker and stick your toes in the sand? I already told you I’d meet you in Pensacola with sunscreen and a cooler of beer. You know you want to. Or are you just scared to show off your ugly toes in flip flops? Your boots might actually cry if you ever took them off, so I guess it’s just as well. 

Hey, do you remember that night in Richmond when it started pouring and your boots sank into the mud puddle? God, that was a mess. We were soaked to the bone. Nice way to warm up, though - cuddled in the back of the Impala. I miss that car. Sometimes, I think I can hear it at night when the world is quiet and the wind is still. It’s like the engine roars in the back of my mind and I start thinking about all our adventures, all the time we spent driving into the sunset. 

I miss you. Is that wrong? I probably shouldn’t. Or at least, I shouldn’t tell you that I do. But I do. I miss you so bad sometimes that it hurts. Like someone has punched me right in the chest. Maybe we can end up in the same town soon. Grab some tacos and sit on the hood. Make a mess. I’d like that. 

OK, before I get too emotional and start asking you to run away with me, I think I’ll end this ranting scribble of horrid handwriting. 

Write me back soon.

Love, Y/N

June 21 

Y/N- 

Your handwriting does not look like chicken scratch. I like it. Mine is like some toddler just learning his letters. Whatever. I never learned that fancy shit. I can sign my name and make a grocery list. That’s all I need. 

This is weird, yeah. But it’s kinda nice. Feels more… like you’re here. Does that make sense? Like seeing your handwriting, the dents in the paper- I don’t know. Just feels more real. Like you’re not just some computer talking back at me. Also there’s something strange about answering questions weeks later. I meant to write this sooner, but I got a little distracted. There was a Kung Fu marathon on and I just lost track of time. Too much pizza, not enough Carradine. Ya know? You know. 

Remember that horrible motel in Raleigh when we both caught that nasty stomach bug and stayed up all night watching old tv shows? Saltines and Little House. I’ll never forget it. You were so sick that day. Shit, I was sure I was gonna end up taking you to the hospital. Sure, I was puking too, but you looked like death. I hated that. Hated that I couldn’t help you, make you feel better. I did cook up a mean chicken noodle soup though, didn’t I? Not that it stayed down for long. 

Thank god for that yellow Gatorade. And yes- it’s fucking yellow. Not green. 

Anyway- I miss you too. I try not to, I really do. Not all the time, no offense, but sometimes I’m just fucking insane with shit going on. But at night, especially, I miss having you beside me. I miss rolling over and seeing you there, or hearing you snore. I miss feeling your freezing feet under the blanket. I don’t know, I just- 

What can I say? I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I’m the biggest piece of shit in the universe. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. 

Can’t change the past. Just gotta move on. 

Maybe someday you’ll forgive me. I hope so anyway. 

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump that all out in a letter. I almost ripped this all up and started over. I actually let it sit for a day before I came back to it. But, fuck it- we said we were gonna write to each other and be honest, and here I am, being honest. 

Fuck, I’m so tired. That kinda tired when sleeping for ten days wouldn’t even put a dent in it. Yeah, OK, so things are getting a little better. Chuck’s gone for good this time. Jack’s got things back in place, even made a few improvements. Sam’s- well, he’s Sam. He’s fine, doing his thing. The dog is- did I tell you we have a dog now? Yeah, I know. Me and a dog- yeah right. But we do. Miracle. He’s a good boy. I’ll send you a picture soon. 

Never thought I could slow down like this. Feels like for the first time we can just - work. I mean, I’m never gonna give up hunting, not totally, but- feels like I could just ease back a bit. Been looking at some jobs in town- nothing crazy, fixing engines and stuff like that. Don’t know if you remember, but I’m pretty good with my hands. 

Did you blush? 

You did. 

OK. I guess- that’s it for now. I have no fucking idea how to end this so - bye?

~ Dean

P.S.  I’ll meet you at the beach soon. I promise.

Fifteenth of July 

To Whom It May Concern:

Re: Beach Vacation

Dear Mr. Winchester, 

I am very pleased to hear that you are agreeable to meeting me at the beach. It should be delightful fun to run through the surf and hunt for sea glass with you.

Oh shit! Do you remember that new age shop in… where the fuck was that? With the sea glass necklaces in the window that I said were so pretty and the witch inside said they were blessed to give the wearer riches or some shit like that. Where was that? Who knows.

Feels like we’ve been all over the world together. Well, this country at least. Lord knows I could never get you on an airplane. If only you could drive to Paris. Did I ever tell you about my trip to France? God, it was beautiful. Rained the whole time, but it was this beautiful, warm spring rain that made everything smell like dust and petals. Not rose petals, but those little white ones that grow on trees, ya know? It was so beautiful. Fuck it. I’m taking you one day. You need to see more than the dash of your car and the backroads of America. Time to travel!

Speaking of- I’m glad you’re slowing down a bit. I know that won’t be easy for you but if you think about it, you’ve spent the last forty years running from problem to problem like a damned bomb-sniffing dog. 

A DOG?! Dean Winchester, I never thought the day would come. I can’t wait to see a picture. Don’t forget it next time. 

I think you’d be a great mechanic. It was always very hot seeing you covered in sweat and grease especially if you had those damned coveralls on. I mean… what? I don’t think about you like that anymore, you know. It’s over and done with and we’re just friends. We are friends, aren’t we? Maybe something more than friends, I guess. Ex lovers? Ew. I hate that word. Lovers. So gross. Well, then what are we? Just two souls swimming in a fish bowl…

Year after year. Day after day. Do you know that I put nearly a hundred thousand miles on my poor truck this year? Back and forth, up and down the country. I don’t have to tell you how exhausting it is. Fun, but exhausting. Rewarding, but not. I wonder how many people remember me after I leave? Does that family in New Haven think about me whenever they go into the basement and it’s no longer haunted? Is there a photo of me on a fridge in Wilmington where I saved that guy’s fiance from the vamp nest? Probably not. I’m sure people remember you - The Great Dean Winchester. The sexy hunter with the green eyes and the giant black car. You’re hard to forget. Also, you hang out with a giant. Tell Sam I said hi. 

I do remember that puke fest! And it’s green. It’s literally neon green. Fight me. 

We could probably write a book, you and me. ‘Winchester & Y/L/N Do America’. It’s a coffee table book with pictures of random diner signs and gas station bathrooms. Maybe a list of the country’s best french fry places. Shit like that. Let’s do it. I’ll call my literary agent in the morning. Ha!

SPARTA!! That’s where that damned sea glass shop was. It just hit me! Stupid brain. I swear, I’ve been hit in the head way too many times. Broken too many bones. I’m getting too old for this shit. Did you know that my left knee pops whenever I stand up now? Like, how old am I?? I can’t stand it. I need a month at a spa somewhere in the desert. That’d be nice. 

Damnit. I just got a call from Vinnie Alverez. Do you know him? Hunter out of Pittsburg. Anyway- he needs help on a job. Guess I’ll cut this letter short. Hopefully I’ll find a box to drop this in on the way to PA! 

Miss you. 

Sincerely yours, 

Y/N

P.S. - I do forgive you, Dean. Of course I do. Things were just too hard back then. Life didn’t want to cooperate for us. It’s not your fault. Not my fault. It just was. Please don’t carry that guilt in your heart. You deserve better than that. 

August 2

Dear Y/N- 

You’re a real character, you know that? Love the corporate letter. I’m in for the book by the way. Could be awesome. We do need a full chapter on onion rings though. Make a note. 

I heard about your hunt in Pittsburgh. Came through the grapevine that you kicked some serious wolf ass. Nice job, kid. Hope you’re being careful. I know how bullheaded and impulsive you can get when you’re in the zone. Just watch your back, OK? Promise me. Last thing I wanna hear is that you got your heart clawed out or you’re walking around with a demon in your ass. 

Demons. Haven’t seen so many running around lately. Queen Rowena’s been keeping them in check. So fucking weird that she’s in charge now. Not that I’m surprised- she’s a badass bitch. If I had a nickel for every ruler of hell I was friends with, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. The kids still say that, don’t they? See, I’m not old. I keep up with pop culture and shit. Started watching the tik toks. I still don’t get it, but I like the woodturning stuff. Thinking about taking up whittling. Maybe carve you a keychain so you stop losing them. 

I got a call for a job interview. Chickened out though. I don’t know if I’m ready to start all that, ya know? Start a real life in the real world- just seems- I don’t know, scary. Yeah, I’ve faced every deadly thing on this and other worlds but the idea of getting a 9 to 5 civilian job scares me. I’m some kinda fucked up, huh? 

I think about it a lot though. Getting a job, finding a little house somewhere, settling down. A little fenced in yard so Miracle can run around and dig up dirt. Might put a rocking chair on the porch and watch the clouds, some shit like that. Would you come visit me in my Barbie dream house? I’ll cook you breakfast every morning and you can rub my feet at night. Real cozy couple stuff. 

OK, so maybe I’m thinking about you more and more these days. Maybe I’m regretting leaving. Maybe I’m just an idiot daydreaming about meeting you somewhere in the middle and sweeping you off your feet. One of those running hugs that hurts when you collide but ends in a kiss that makes everything feel better. I’m a real romantic fuck, huh? I was digging through my drawers yesterday and I found a pair of your socks. Those tiny ones that barely covered your ankle. I don’t know why they were stuffed in the back of the dresser, but there they were. Dingy white socks with the pink threads on the toes. I’ll bring them to the beach when we meet up. 

Oh, Sam says hi and he hopes you’re good and he wants you to shoot him a text when you can. You can do what you want, but you better not mail him a letter. That’s just for me. God, my hand is cramping up. I’m not used to this. Oh, and you’re not alone. My knee creaks like a haunted house when I go up stairs now. And my right wrist pops, and my neck makes this weird almost squeaking sound, and my ass- well, I could go on, but just know you’re not alone. Kinda weird to think that we lived long enough to be this old, ain’t it? I never thought I’d live to be thirty and here I am staring down 42. Forty Fucking Two. Can you believe that shit? Goddamnit I got old. Let’s go find a nursing home together. Maybe we can get a double room- or a king sized bed?

Think about it. We could be cranky old people together. Losing our memories and shuffling around with walkers and shit. You’d look cute with white hair. And fuck, my beard’s already going gray. Should I grow out my beard? 

Write back soon. I really like seeing your letters in the box. 

Dean  x

My dearest Dean Winchester, it is with great happiness that I write this letter to you and I do hope that it finds you well and happy and all good things and I can’t keep this formal shit up. Ha!

Anyway- but yeah, things are good. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I was on a little trip around the continent. Headed up to Montreal for a bit. Killed some nasties, salted some bones, generally fucked around. My beloved truck crapped out in Burlington, Vermont, so I had to hang out there for a while and gather my resources to get a new vehicle. I think you’d like her. Green Ford Explorer from ‘94. OK, she’s not as sexy as the Impala, but she gets me where I need to go. Which, apparently, was Maine! I met up with some friends in Greenville. Cute little town full of witchcraft. So much fun. Also had a lobster roll on a pier… I swear to god, they plucked this thing right out of the water and slapped it on a buttered roll. You’d LOVE it. I’m gonna take you there someday. 

Speaking of- We need to make plans for Florida. I picked up a little bikini on my travels and I think I really need to show it off. Maybe you could be my bodyguard and keep the creeps away while I’m sunbathing? To repay you for your services, I’ll gladly let you take it off me at night…

Oh, and I’ve thought about this extensively, and I believe that you should, in fact, grow your beard out. Like, full on, bushy lumberjack beard. I can’t wait to see all that gray. You know I have a thing for older men… and you’ll always be older than me, Dean Winchester and don’t you forget it!

And for your information, I don’t lose my keys anymore! I got one of those… apple taggy things. Now I know where they are at all times. Can’t find my phone to find them sometimes, but that’s another issue. 

Two weeks later, I’m picking up my pen again. Sorry this is taking forever. Things are stupid busy. I wish I could just… put this fucking gun down and go live with you on a farm somewhere. Not a working farm, we wouldn’t keep pigs or anything because gross, but a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Big white house with a giant tree in the yard and a tire swing and a picket fence and a kid chasing the dog around and - 

Shit. Do you ever think about it? I do. A lot. More than I’d like to and it fucking cuts me up inside every time. I know we could never have kept it, and life- I mean- it just wasn’t meant to be. But I do think about it sometimes. Imagine if we’d just walked away from the life and tried to be a family? Impossible, I know. Maybe in another life. 

Shit, I’m sorry. Fuck. Ignore me. I haven’t slept in a while and I just

I want to see you. Can we meet somewhere? Wherever you want. I’ll come to you. 

~ Y/N 

Dear Dean, 

This is my second attempt at writing this. Crumpled up the first one because I’m an idiot. Am I an idiot? Did I piss you off with the last letter? I honestly didn’t mean to. I just- we said we’d be honest, and you’ve been so open in your letters that I thought it was ok to talk about, but I guess not. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have dug that stuff up. 

I’m so tired and stressed and I miss you so much. Since we’ve been writing back and forth it’s almost like I can’t stop thinking about you. I get so fucking excited to check the mail whenever I roll back into town. It’s like… I don’t know, it’s like Christmas every time I see your handwriting in my box. Remember the time you wrote your name on my thigh in Sharpie? That stayed on for like a week. I shoulda gotten it inked on. That’d be something, huh? Branded by a Winchester. 

Fuck, Dean, I really hope you’re not mad at me. I really want to call you, but we said we wouldn’t. Just write me back, please. 

I’ll be in your neck of the woods next week. Got turned onto a haunting up in Abilene. Maybe we can meet on the road somewhere? Please? 

Hey, did you know there’s a Hunter, Kansas? Wonder why they didn’t build the bunker there. I don’t know, made me laugh when I was looking at the map. 

Anyway- Please write me back. Or call. Or text. Or send a damned pigeon with a tiny letter taped to its foot. I don’t care, how, just do it please. Even if you’re mad at me and don’t want to talk anymore, I get it. But please. Just let me know, OK?

I’m sorry. 

Love, Y/N

Dear Y/N,

I didn’t know you and my brother were writing to each other like this, but I found your last few letters to him in his private P.O. Box. I didn’t even know he had one of his own, but I guess we all keep secrets from those we love. I hope you don’t mind that I read your letters. Not all of them, but the last two that came through. Please know that Dean would have responded if he could have, I know he would have. He talked about you a lot recently. Said you two were in contact and that he was hoping to find some time to meet you for a vacation. I don’t know where you guys were planning on going, but I found a new Hawiian shirt in his closet with the tags still on it. 

I know we spoke on the phone after he passed, but I wanted to send this to you. I was cleaning up his stuff and found his notepad. Looks like he’d started a letter before we left for Canton. I think he’d want you to have it. 

I’m closing up the Bunker soon. I don’t really know where I’ll go, but I can’t be here right now. Not without my brother. 

I’ll always be around if you need anything or want to talk. I’ll always answer the phone for you, Y/N. 

Be well,

Sam Winchester

Y/N/N, 

If I could take it back I would. Every fucking word. I think about it now and I know we made the wrong choice. I know we could have made it work if we tried. But we are both total fuck ups who can’t be normal. We just can’t. 

Forgive me

That’s dog slobber up there, not tears. Just fyi. Definitely not tears. I think I might have been a little drunk when I started writing and then well-

Anyway- Maine sounds awesome. We were there once but no time for lobster rolls. Guess I missed out. 

Not much to report since the last letter. Been kinda quiet here. But… I did apply for a job. Well, I filled out the application. Well, I started filling it out. It’s actually underneath this notepad right now. I’ll get to it. I will. I just need a good kick in the ass. Or maybe a pinch… wink wink

I absolutely think we need to get together. Pick some place stupid like the World’s Largest Frying Pan or South of The Border. I’ll meet you. Just say when. 

Guess this letter will take a little longer to finish. We’re leaving for Ohio in a little bit. There’s a buncha vampire dicks making a mess. Gonna take ‘em to batting practice. Show them my machete swing. I’ll give a full report when we’re back home

Dean Dean, 

I made it to the beach. It’s hot, like stupid hot. Had to stand in the water just to keep my toes from burning. I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to think of something to say, but all I can say is I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here with me. I wish things had been different. I wish and wish and wish. 

If I throw this into the ocean will it get to you somehow or will my words just wash away like the sand? 

I’ll see you again someday. I hope so, anyway. Let’s just pretend I’m destined for Heaven. I know you’re up there. You were too good not to be. You sacrificed so much, cared so much, saved so many people. I know you made it. If there’s any mercy in this universe, I’ll be up there someday too. Just don’t have too much fun without me. 

I love you, Dean. Always. 

Y/N

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[booksandmore]

I’m sorry but CC only has herself to blame for making TMI known as “the incest books” in all of the reading communities outside of TSC fandom.

She herself ruined TMI becoming as big as it could’ve been & TSC in general by putting incest in all 6 books of TMI…That’s why no one posts about it on Booktwt or Booktok..

There’s no point in being upset at readers judging TMI for having incest in it when that’s a valid criticism.. Clace kissed multiple times for three books all while not being officially sure whether or not they were related or not..then CC got petty & doubled down on the incest after being criticized for it already & had Clary kiss her biological brother in book three after people already hated it with Clace in the first two books.

Clary’s brother almost rapes her in book five and tries kissing her in the last book. TSC is not GOT where it gets a pass. Non TSC stans really want a LI calling his girlfriend’s Dad his own Dad 💀 Jace was calling Clary’s brother his brother while being romantically involved with Clary. Just because he was adopted by Valentine as a kid didn’t make it normal for Cassie to have Jace call himself a Morgenstern or to call his girlfriend’s brother his own brother.

TMI hate = CC’s own fault.. any TMI stan bitterness should be directed at her own questionable writing choices. Sorry but seeing TMI stans hating that TMI is judged for this all when it’s the authors own fault is weird yk? It’s been too long, Cassie understands why TMI gets hate. As a TMI stan it makes me upset that she dragged the incest on the entire series because I can’t proudly ever talk about Clace, Seb or TMI as a whole because she got weird with the writing in that series on purpose to spite people who criticized the incest in Books 1-2. It was petty for her to drag on incest for that long knowing people hated it..It’s her fault.

I’m tired of people outside of the fandom being judged for not liking the incest for Clary with two Mmc’s when..it’s valid not to like or be comfortable with. TMI stans always having to make excuses for her too is even sadder bc it’s not our fault or other readers’ it’s the authors fault for putting that in a fun YA series that didn’t need incest AT ALL. That’s probably why the show was a flop and the movie, no one could take the series seriously with that arc for Clary with Jace and her brother Sebastian..

no yes i totally get it!! it is frusterating to see tmi get dismissed but im not gonna force anyone to do anything they dont like. it’s valid to not want to interact with something cause it grosses you out, i’ve definitly done that before as well. we all have our limits and that’s okay!! that said feel free to ignore the rest of this i just wanted to explain my thoughts more thoroughly but it got a bit long😭you might not like anon sorry

first of, i do admit it’s been a while since my reread and also, i haven’t touched the other series since i first read them so i can really only speak for tmi rn, and if i get anything wrong that’s on me

i should probably clarify that my original posts were create because i was just so baffled that people were sayong cc has some kind of incest kink and that’s why she was forcing it into her books. like?? an author choosing to engage with darker taboo topics doesn’t mean they’re into it im pretty sure. its not like i know her personally, but if she had a kink i sort of suspect it would show up in the rest of her books yk? is it really that hard to imagine that she’d include it for a reason?😭

for me, maybe because i’m used to books like the secre t history or older classics, i tend to look past the taboo of it and focus on what it does for the story/reveals about charchterization, if that makes sense?

i think that tmi is very much about family, and sebastian having these fucked up views about family (where he mistakes romantic love for familial love) really goes to show how horrible valentine was as a father, and how terribly he was treated and how desperate he was for love. i think he doesnt know what it means to be loved by family and that’s why he substitutes it with something else. cause i think that deep down inside he does have a normal brotherly love for clary, its just that he doesnt know any other way to show that

for me the incest thing is a plot device and it frusterates me how no one wants to engage with it that way. could it have been done differently? probabaly. but they don’t even try to examining why it’s there at all! they don’t bother analyzing or asking, hey, does the author have any particular reason for putting this here, or writing it the way she did? they just dismiss it as gross and go away. but i really do think it has a purpose and point in the story that gets lost on a lot of people

the thing is, it’s meant to be uncomfortable! it’s meant to be gross! it should weird you out!! i doubt cc meant it to be viewed positively, especially when neither the charchters nor the narrative does. it’s meant to show how badly these adults and this society have fucked up these children, and robbed them of being able to love freely and safely yk?

most of my frusteration really just comes from how puritanical fandom has been. you can choose not to engage with something if it grosses you out, that’s fine and valid and we’ve all done that before. but looking down on someone for wanting to engage with it objectively is??? i think it’s just etiquette to not engage with what you don’t like. block the tag. curate your own experience. that kinda stuff

again anon if you chose to read this anyway i really do respect and understand what you’re saying. i’m really sorry if i came across as mean or rude but like. i really really love tmi and i cannot tolerate it being dismissed like that

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Chapter 15

Pairing: Bucky x enhanced reader

Word count: 2.4k

Warning: fluff, little bit of sad Henry, ending with angst because you should know better by now

A/N: are y’all ready for this one? Also I realized that I’ve written Lottie’s personality similar to 40s Bucky and Henry’s personality similar to post hydra Bucky.

Series masterlist

Ch 14

There was nothing about this mission that you liked. Not the fifteen hour flight or getting off the jet and heading right into the fight or the fact that every time you’ve been away from Bucky something horrible happens. Add to that the fact you didn’t want to be away from the kids in the first place or that you couldn’t say goodbye because they were asleep. At least this mission wasn’t related to hydra.

You had everything you needed in a duffle by your feet. Bucky stood beside you by the door. His hands on your hips as he pulled you in closer to him. He kisses you softly, still half asleep.

“Remember the rules.” He says.

“Kick ass. Be careful. And come back home in one piece.” You repeat, chuckling softly as you say them.

“That’s right.”

“Give the kids kisses from me.”

Bucky perked up for a moment. “Do it yourself.”

A still sleepy Lottie walks into the living room. She was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her newly grown but still short hair sticking up at weird angles. She had on princess pajamas and was holding on to her teddy.

“Mama.” She sighs when she sees you in your uniform. You get down on one knee and open your arms for her. Lottie walks over to you and immediately rests her head on your chest and you stand.

“Hi my sweet Angel.” You peppered kisses on her forehead. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“And bubba?”

“Of course I’m gonna miss bubba.”

“And dada?”

“I’m really gonna miss dada.”

“And Steeb?” She giggled sleepily.

“Ok silly girl. I’ll miss Steve too. Love you sweet Angel.” You give her one last kiss before handing her over to Bucky and then you kiss him one last time too. “Give Henry-“

“Some hugs and kisses, I will. Now go before Nat comes up here and drags you to the jet.”

“Ok, bye. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

To say Henry was upset when he woke up a few hours later and discovered you were gone was an understatement. He had asked for you over and over again. It took a lot of cuddles, patience and convincing on Bucky’s part to get Henry to calm down. He thought you’d left for good and he wasn’t fully convinced that you would come back. That he wouldn’t see you again and that had put him on edge. After that he stayed close to Lottie and wouldn’t let her leave his sight.

“Hey bubs, wanna watch Toy Story?” Bucky asked from the doorway to Lottie’s room. Both kids were in there playing and Bucky couldn’t get Henry to come out.

“I want mama.”

“Mama home?” Lottie stopped what she was doing to look up hoping to spot you at the door.

“No, mama is not home yet. How about going outside?”

Henry shook his head and looked back down at the cars he was playing with. Bucky’s chest tightened looking at the sadness in his son’s eyes. Neither of you had really thought that he might be affected by the sudden absence of one of his parents. Bucky knew he couldn’t call you since you were on a no contact mission.

“I’ll be right back and then we’ll do something fun.” Bucky was on a mission of his own now. He’d have to cheer up his son alone. Better yet with the help of a few uncles.

About an hour later the Barnes trio were dressed in their swimsuits. Bucky wore a plain gray t-shirt and black swim trunks, Henry wore a white t-shirt with some multicolored striped swim trunks and leading the pack was Lottie. She wore a white and light blue pinstriped one piece suit with big multicolored polka dots that kind of matched Henry’s trunks. She also wore pink framed sunglasses even if they weren’t leaving the building and some jean shorts. The flip flops she wore smacked against the floor with every step she took getting the attention of any passing agent or trainee. She definitely had the most outgoing personality out of the three because she waved and smiled back at everyone.

Once they finally got to the compound’s pool, Steve and Sam were there waiting. They had been out when Bucky had texted and now they had all kinds of pool games and floaties for the kids to use. Lottie rushed into Steve’s arms before giving Sam his own hug while Henry stayed close to Bucky.

“Alright bubs, what do you think?”

Henry just shrugged his shoulders. Bucky got down on one knee so that he could be eye level with his son.

“Tell me what’s going on?”

“I miss mama.” Henry whispered.

“I know you’re sad mom isn’t here and I know she misses you too. But she’s only going to be gone for a little bit longer and then she’ll be back and I’m sure she’s going to give you all of the cuddles and kisses she’s missed.”

“So she didn’t leave because of me?”

“Is that what you think Henry? That mom left because of you?”

Henry nods and looks at the floor.

“She didn’t leave because of you. She left because she had a mission. There are people that are being hurt by bad guys and she wants to help them. But she’s going to come back real soon so why don’t we go play in the pool and that way you have something to tell her about?”

“Ok.” Henry smiles for the first time that day.

“Ok.” Bucky looks over to where Sam, Lottie and Steve were at then looks back at his son. “Seems like Uncle Steve and Uncle Sam bought some toys. Wanna go check them out?”

Henry nodded with a new sense of excitement and grabbed Bucky’s hand. He ran in the direction of his uncles and sister. It didn’t take long for the five of them to get into the pool. Lottie opted to lounge on a unicorn floatie that Steve kept close to him. It was no real shock that Henry could swim but Bucky decided not to think about how he was trained. He was a fast swimmer too. After warming up to the idea of being in the pool he actually started to enjoy himself. Henry also started to have conversations and games with Sam and Steve. It was the first time he willingly interacted with anyone other than you, Bucky or Lottie.

After a while Lottie also went into the water and although she couldn’t swim she was having the time of her life. She especially loved to hold on to Sam while he bobbed around the pool. He would hold her out at arms length and let her kick around. Bucky made sure to take plenty of pictures and videos for you. Especially of Henry just laughing and having fun.

After a few hours of swimming Bucky got the kids up to the apartment to shower and change into something comfortable.

“What do we do now?” Henry asked as he sat on the couch and pulled Lottie to his side.

“Well Uncle Sam is bringing dinner and we can watch a movie after.”

“Or we can make your mama a surprise.” Steve adds and Henry smiles at that.

“What kind of surprise?”

“What if we paint something for her? I bet she’d love that.”

“Can we daddy?”

“Yeah bubs, you guys can do that but after dinner.”

“Ok.” Henry said and settled down, both him and Lottie fell asleep quickly while cuddled up on the couch.

Bucky made sure to take a picture of that too.

“Daddy?” Henry’s fear riddled voice filled the quiet of your shared bedroom with Bucky. He sat up quickly ready to attack whoever was there.

“Henry? Bub what’s wrong?” He asked once he realized it was only his son and a sleepy Charlotte at the door. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“No, baby did.” he sniffled. “But she cried and it scareded me. Can we stay here?”

“Of course bub come on.”

Henry walked further into the room and picked Lottie up to place her on the bed. She crawled closer to Bucky and plopped down on the pillow. Her cheeks and lashes were still wet with tears. Henry however rounded the bed to Bucky’s side and waited until Bucky picked him up.

“Did it upset you to see her cry?”

“Yeah. I don’t like to see her sad.” Henry said as he leaned into Bucky’s chest. Lottie decided to snuggle into his side.

Although they were in his room because they were sad, nothing made Bucky happier than knowing his kids felt safe with him. The only thing that could make it better would be having you there. But just like the kids he would have to wait until you came back.

The mission had been a complete failure. The information you had been given was in fact a half truth that Shield didn’t have time to verify. It left you, Nat and Thor walking in blind and being ambushed. The reason for the surprise attack was still unknown but you were furious. All you wanted was to go home, shower and take a nap.

Once the jet landed you were the first one off the jet and informing Fury that you would debrief whenever you felt like it. The apartment was quiet and you were surprised that no one was still awake. You checked the kids room and it was empty and for just a moment you felt like you couldn’t breathe. A sigh of relief left your lips when you opened your bedroom door to find Lottie in your spot and Henry sleeping on top of an also sleeping Bucky. His eyes flutter open and he looks right at you. A smile forms on Bucky’s lips and you make your way to his side of the bed.

“Good morning.” You whisper before you kiss him quickly.

“Morning.”

Henry stirred against Bucky’s chest.

“Is mama home?” He asked while keeping his eyes closed.

“I am, sweet boy. And I missed you so much.”

Your voice was enough to wake him up. He looked up at you and smiled. You leaned down and kissed his forehead before nuzzling your nose against his cheek. Henry shuffled off of Bucky and wrapped his arms around your midsection and squeezed before you were able to stop him. You gasped from the pain to your ribs and Henry tensed and let go of you.

“Mama?” He asked, fear evident in his voice. “I’m sorry mama. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s ok,” you took a few quick breaths until the pain subsided. “You didn’t know.” You take another breath. “A bad man hurt me, baby. Not you.”

“What happened?”

“Got kicked in the ribs. It’s nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky looked at you with concern.

“Yeah-“

“Mama?” Lottie’s sleepy voice interrupts you.

“Good morning sweet Angel.”

Lottie sat up and smiled at you while rubbing the sleep away from her eyes.

“Mama home.”

“I am.” You walked around and leaned over into the bed and kissed her cheek. Her little arms wrap around your head and you feel her kiss your forehead.

“I’m going to take a shower really quickly and I’ll be out.”

“We’ll start breakfast, right Henry?”

He looked up at you still full of worry but then nodded.

“Lottie and I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” You smile brightly at him. “Can I get a hint?”

Henry shakes his head and then smiles.

“Ok well then I’m going to shower and then I’ll be out for breakfast and my surprise.”

Henry was practically buzzing with excitement and he tugged on his father’s arm in order to go out and head to the kitchen. Lottie blinked owlishly at the door and then at you trying to figure out what to do next before she dived back into bed.

“Night night mama.”

You laughed as she moved around and found a comfortable position. After giving her one more quick kiss you head to the bathroom.

You peel off your uniform, it was disgusting from sweat. The kick to the ribs was hurting more now that you had removed the Kevlar. A wave of nausea hits you immediately and the room begins to spin. After taking a few breaths you look at yourself in the mirror and gasp. There in the area where you had been kicked was a circular imprint on your skin. There was also some type of liquid that spread out from the imprint. Whatever it was, was spreading fast, the color was a stark contrast against your skin so there was no way you could miss it. The closer it got to your lung the more difficulty you had breathing and you were trying not to panic.

You felt consciousness slipping away from you and in your last few seconds you called out a 911 to Friday. Then you slipped and fell to the floor of the bathroom.

“Why is mama taking so long? Can I go get her?” Henry asked from his chair at the table.

“Give her some time bubs. She just wants to relax a bit.”

There’s a pounding on the door of the apartment enough to startle Bucky and Henry. Lottie walks out crying from the bedroom at the same time.

“Mama.” She cried out and Bucky’s heart almost beat out of his chest.

There’s another furious knock at the door before it opens and Bucky is quickly grabbing a knife to defend his kids with.

“Y/N? Are you here?” Ivy, one of the nurses from the medbay, calls out. “Y/N?”

Bucky puts the knife down and heads to the living room while Henry comforts Lottie. Both of them walk back into your bedroom.

“Ivy what’s wrong?” Bucky asks as he sees the team behind her.

“We got a 911 from Friday.”

“Daddy it’s mama.” Henry yells. “She’s on the floor.”

Bucky leaves the living room and heads toward the ensuite with Ivy following. He finds you just as Henry said, on the floor and you’re unconscious. Ivy pushes past him and Bucky has just a second to grab both kids before the rest of the medical team rushes in.

The three of them watch as the team works around you. With every passing second Bucky feels like his world is crumbling around him. What had happened and why hadn’t he noticed? Lottie whimpers into his shoulder and Henry holds on tighter to Bucky’s waist.

“I can barely get a pulse.” Ivy mutters. “We need to move her fast.” She says as they connect you to a portable heart monitor.

“We’re losing her.”

Ch 16

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[ancanosaur]

Does anyone else remember how weirdly toxic the MK Fandom was around MKx era? Becuase I do.

Those like handful of blogs that were just getting into beef with random Kano fans and their whole thing was "Kanno is a peice of shit! And so are you for liking this fictional antagonist!!!" I remember a few who put anti-Kano in thier description of their blog and it was just a hobby to shame people for drawing Kano fanart or liking the character in any way. (And a small revival with mk11 since they made him fuzzy for that game lmao)

Weird uncomfortable age gap shipping... That whole thing about that one artist that drew Cassie cage/subzero stuff and a shit ton of people were like "uh, he's friends with her dad and is like 52. So that's kinda weird." But then it also turned into a headcanon argument bc people were like "yeah subzero definitely watched Cassie cage grow up and he was a part of her childhood." Wich is so funny looking back at it bc there was no need for people to theorise anything about the characters relationship any further than what is Canon for it to be weird.

That fucking Sektor fan who just casually wrote headcanons about Sektor being a huge fucking racist for no goddamn reason?????!?!??? The headcanon specifically was about how they ship him and Cyrax and how Sektor calls him slurs and physically, mentally, and sexually abuses him as part of thier romantic relationship????????????? And they even gave examples of the horribly racist things he says to him¿¿¿? And that Cyrax was just okay with it??? And ended the post with like " I love my evil little man 🥰" No trigger warnings on the post either and when they were critiqued for it they were like "it's realistic and it's just my personal headcanons and you don't have to agree. Sektor is my comfort character and this is just how i see him." -type shit. (Deeper lore about said person. I actually interacted with them way before the headcanon thing. They approached me wanting to rp and they were so controlling they were basically just telling me what to do the whole time. super rude and impatient. So they just suckedl lol.)

Art blogs getting wierd asks that requested them to draw the fem characters in what was very obviously kink art but the asker would ask it in a way to trick the artist into making free fetish art for them. I got so many requests back in the day to "could you draw mileena for me :) but with her jaw wired shut? :)" or "could you draw kitana wereing a new pair of flip flops for me? That would make my day." like ????? Vague to the point of its sus but there were alot of minors in the fandom at the time including myself, i was in highschool at the time. but I was raised on deviantart so I could smell a wierd fetish from a mile away. But I did see other young artists fulfill these requests and several of them completely unaware that they were drawing kink art. Kink art is cool. But not when you're tricking minors into drawing it for you for free. (There was this mileena anon that was the most common one and I swear it was the same dude bc it was always something to do with with her getting her jaw wired shut, her getting bracess, or some other hardware being attached to her jaw/teeth.)

Selfshippers/heteroshippers being like "I know Kung Jin is the only Canon gay character in this very cis het and hyper masculine video game franchise- but im gonna ship him with my girl oc :) becuase he isn't real and it's not wierd to just pick the only gay one :) out of a huge line of big muscle men to choose from :) to ship with :) my female girl she/her lady with a vagina self insert :) or ship him with Cassie :) bc they are friends and should date :) I know he likes men :) and erasing that part of him :) erases :) a big part of his character :) and character arc :) but he would look cute :) kissing girls :) bc im :) girl :) and so is Cassie cage :) and my oc :) - is what I remember.

2015/16 really was a time for the fandom.

[yourlocalstranger123]

Hi! I hope this ask goes through, my asks often seem to not go through for some reason, but I have request!

Can you please please please write more flirty, villian, creator!reader? The concept is amazing and I love it

I would be the most delighted to do this.

Part 1 [Mondstadt]

~`•°☆★☆★☆★☆★☆°•`~

The colors of who is talking will be based on the elements. Although for dendro and anemo, both will be green but Anemo is bolder. Same with cryo and hydro. Ex: Anemo Dendro. Cryo hydro

And your talking thingy is bold.

And also for the traveler ima use they/them because your traveler could be lumine or aether. So idk.

Note: Sorry if you wanted to continue the thing, Ima just do a separate one. Because that post was a flop. I bet you won't read the whole thing and read without skipping a line, MWAHAHAH >:]

Spoilers for this post, the dead people are gonna be revived because I say so. This is gonna be a happy day, alright. I ain't using angst to ruin it

——

The traveler always faced many dangers, hilichurls, mechanics, a dragon, to a false God.

But nothing compared to you. It felt like their soul was quivering. Every time they went into a nation, they always felt eyes on them. They waited for you to make a move to attack them, but it never came. Why were you watching them?

In every region, there was always a commission where this flirty imposter was running around making a mess. This was the only commission they couldn't do. They could never catch you! And even if you were there, talking to them. You somehow escape from their grasp. Just what are you? Who are you.

They only knew you were just a kind of imposter of Teyvat Creator. There was always a bounty on your head in each nation! Even a village has one. Every time they asked the archons, they just looked away, flustered, and didn't even answer the question. Always changing the subject and when they do awnser, the archons always say that you are a trouble maker. Of course, beside Nahida. The things she said about you didn't really match up with other people, said.

"I had no thoughts of them being bad. Even now, when I meet them. They always bring me flowers and share interesting stories, even from other worlds. They visited me even when I was imprisoned. They were the only thing that kept me not giving up on hope."

Nahida says while smiling.

"They always play with me and swing with me. They aren't bad. Although they are full with mysteries.......why you say traveler? Well, I tried finding information with irminsul, but the only information about them were locked up."

Now the traveler was more cunfused. Irminsul has little information about you, but it was locked? He looked around for more, but when he did, his view of you changed. The citizens who told you were horrible but did many wrong things. Which in the end when they found out, were arrested. The citizens who didn't do any wrongs told them many great things from you.

They decided to go to each nation and stay for a few weeks and see what you do to see if there was a pattern so they could meet you. First was Mondstadt. They were sitting at the usual place while paimon was ordering.

Until they saw Kaeya and Diluc coming towards them. Were they...talking without fighting?

"Hello traveler, mind if we join you? Of course we'll be paying for our own meals."

Then the traveler saw Venti coming along, asking the same thing. Surprisingly, he had mora to pay, unlike for his drinks—

The traveler agreed to let them join, and they started ordering too. Although some people might not have noticed but their ears were red. Why?

Flashback:

"Kaeya, get out. Im already closed.."

"Aww, come on, Diluc! Just one more, hm? And plus, technically, you aren't. Just close to."

(Close to making Diluc beating your ass—)

*ding* [bell from the door rang]

Diluc and kaeya turned their head to see a person with a strange looking cloak on?

"Well, who do we have here? You look quite suspicious, don't you think?" Kaeya chuckles as he looks at you."

"Yeah, yeah. I do, but I can assure you, I am no threat." You put your hands in the air and waved as a sign that you mean no danger.

Diluc just scowled at you and just continued to clean the glass.

"Hmm, can I have a dandelion wine? Also, some grape juice to go?"

Diluc just looked at you dumb founded. But still did the drink for to go even though he's supposed to be closed. He put the grape juice in a bottle and then gave you dandelion wine. You paid him in a bag of mora, then you asked if you could see how much mora does Venti owed him. Diluc just looks at you, then said the price. Was quite high, but you still paid. He was cunfused and asked why you were paying for that drunkard bard.

You just shrugged. Kaeya jokingly asked you to pay for him, too. But you actually did. He was baffled. He looked away in a different direction and continued drinking. It was quiet but not really awkward, more peaceful than awkward. Diluc was annoyed at you two for flirting with each other, but Kaeya got the most flustered <3 although...Diluc felt something he thought he would never feel for you, a stranger. Jealously

hours later,,

(Yes, I know quite well about Diluc because I know as heck he will kick kaeya and you out if you stayed for more hours.)

Kaeya was absolutely drunk. You continued paying for him to drink, and he didn't want to be rude, so he just continued drinking, drinking, and drinking....just how many mora do you have?!

Diluc mentally slapped his forehead but enjoyed this little scene. At least he could enjoy knowing that kaeya would get scolded and have a very bad headache. You put something in his pockets, and Diluc quickly grabbed your wrist. He asked you what you put in Kaeya's pockets with a glare that could scare a soldier off. You took it out, and he examined it. It seems like it was just hangout medicine. He gave it back and quietly apologized.

You continued talking to him but then kaeya woke up. You always saw a wall between their relationship, and you want to break it, so you did. You may or may not have used magic to make Kaeya say some things. You excused yourself and got out. You leaned onto the wall and waited.

*20-30 minutes later*

You finally peeked inside and saw them hugging, kaeya sobbing and Diluc tearing up. You smiled and tried to walk out until you saw Venti. He was drunk, don't know how.

You heard Diluc opening the door. You quickly picked up Venti and hid somewhere.

Diluc has Kaeya arm over him as he drags him to his house. You watched them go, although you flinched as Venti squeezed your chest. [I know, in the sagau idea, he slapped your ass. But I'm ain't doing it]

You looked at him as he giggled. He definitely drank too much. You thought.

"Ehe....why don't you join me~?"

You were holding back so much on your actions that were about to be done to this man. He tugged your clothing that was covering you to not alert anyone that you were the 'imposter'

You quickly got a room for him, and thank god no one was around because Venti almost got your disguise off. You gently put him on the bed. You looked back at his face and saw him flustered. You were cunfused. Why was he so red?

"I-....are we doing this right now?"

He looked away, blushing. Suddenly, it clicked.

he thought you were gonna *censored* him? (Pretend I didn't just say this, shshhhshsh)

He thought you were gonna 'sleep' with him?? You chuckled and tucked him to bed and softly ran your hand through his hair, slowly un-doing his braids. He became more flustered for thinking you were gonna do 'it' with him.

His eyes felt heavy as he slowly drifted to sleep. The next morning, he saw a letter and a bottle of hangout medicine. With a cup of water. He quickly drank down the medicine as his headache got better. He reads the paper,

Hello Venti

Please do not over drink, firstly because of your health and lastly you were so drunk and were clinging to me. I had to get you a room because you were trying to take my clothes off.

From your dear 'imposter'

He crumbled the paper and looked down, blushing hard. He remembers what he was thinking and doing. Although it felt nice and peaceful when you ran your hand through his hair...wait, what was he thinking?! You're the imposter for archon's sake!

He looked around and saw a bag of mora. There was a small paper that said "for venti"

I guess he appreciated the mora.....

*end of flashback*

The traveler had a nice talk with them as paimon just continued eating all the food.

Soon, the chat ended, and they said their goodbyes. He went to the church and wanted to see how things were there. They were surprised to see Amber, Jean, Barbara, Lisa, Noelle, and Eula. They decided to listen to their conversation while they gave Paimon some mora for her food.

"People are reporting to see the 'imposter' taking hillichurls into a portal, and this is getting out of hand. Does anyone know how to catch the 'imposter?'"

Everyone shook their head. Some lowered their head in shame and guilt. Jean sighed. Amber raised her hand,,

"Well, the last time we got reported by this, we went there and found a paper that seemed to be written by the 'imposter'. It said that they know we are trying to track them down and won't be successful. Also, they said that they are just taking to the abyss and getting rid of the curse.."

Jean nodded at the information.

"Did any of you...encounter anything strange, perhaps?"

"Hmm, now I think about it. People always kept losing the books, but lately, they've been returned nice and neat. I also remember that some of the lost books got one of the page ripped but the book got returned and that page was stitched back and with the 'imposter's' hand writing saying the exact thing on the page."

"My bunny got damaged and got lost into the ocean. When I came back, there was my bunny on the table, stitched up and all dry. There was also a paper heart."

"I heard a song/music with a humming similar to the 'imposter's' voice and when I went in, nothing was there. I only found the lyre was all patched and fixed as if nothing even scratched it!"

"I got injured in a battle, and when I woke up, I was patched up in a tent. I saw the 'imposter' standing before me, I tried attacking, but they disappeared into the air."

"I was also in a battle, I was about to get hit, but something blocked the attack, and the ruin guard was smashed into pieces."

"I see...is this perhaps the 'imposter's' doing? If yes, then why....what is their goal?"

Everyone asked what strange thing happened to Jean.

"Ah...well, i had to go somewhere, and when I went back to the office, my papers were all done correctly."

Jean looked away a little flustered. The traveler left since it was the end of the conversation they were eavesdropping to. Paimon came back feeling full from the food she ate. They both went to the forest and saw Bennett sitting without a scratch and Bennett was smiling so happily.

Paimon asked what Bennett was so happy about.

"Ah, me? Well, I think my bad luck is going away! No hilichurls were going after us at night, no tripping, no choking on food, and—"

Traveler was surprised at least since there was no offense. He literally has pretty much no good luck. After Bennett finished talking, he looked around and panicked. Paimon asked what was wrong, as Bennett explained Razor was missing. Fischl came back with some food and asked why you guys were panicking. Bennett quickly explained to her that Razor was missing, but she softly chuckled and pointed to the path.

"What do you mean? He's over there with this hooded person. Idk why, but their cloak look like it's vaporizing."

They went with fischl as she led them to the place. They see a person petting razor as he lays on their lap. The traveler knew this was the 'imposter' and tried to snatch Razor quickly, but Razor was un-willing and hugged the unknown person closer. As the traveler and the others saw the 'imposter' chuckled then turns into loud laughter. As Razor snuggled more onto the 'imposter'

They suddenly disappeared into thin air. Before the 'imposter' (you) left, he saw your strange cloak have an image of dragonspine. He quickly said their goodbyes to Bennett, fischl, and Razor. Paimon didn't want to go into the cold but gave the Traveler some warm food she bought and soon to be waiting in the room they rented.

They went to dragonspine at the path they saw Rosaria smiling....wait, smiling? Rosaria quickly saw the Traveler and fixed her posture. She walked away with an item.

[It was a hand warmer for her to use given by you. Explanation: she didn't really join the hunt to find you, so she just left you alone unless she was ordered/asked to hunt you down. While in dragonspine, she saw you and tried reaching to you yntil you stepped back. Then you gave her a bag then left. Although suspicious, she opened it, seeing a hand warmer and a letter saying it was for her, and you don't want her to catch a cold.]

Traveler continued walking the path, going into Albedo's lab. They see him and Klee as Albedo sits with klee as she drew something. The traveler greeted them with a smile as Albedo and Klee returned it. The traveler asked what was going on as Albedo explained that a mysterious person with a black cloak gave her a paper of how to build safety bombs. Klee ran to Albedo [big brother because I say so. It's now fan Canon, and I am proud of it. >:) ]

and Albedo is strangely not asking why.

[You are friends with him, heh. He knows you are the creator since you have already proven him, but honestly, you didn't know how. He never told anyone because he wants you for himself. You may or may have flirted with him, but he didn't understand—]

Anyway Traveler asked them if they had seen the 'imposter.' they said no. Traveler sighed, disappointed they went back to the room where Paimon is, welcoming them back. The traveler told Paimon there is one last place they could look for to find them.

The cat's tail. They went in and saw Diona almost in tears behind a person, the 'imposter.' You were defending her from this drunk guy

"I am this f—cking close to beating the sh—t out of you. Ugly a$$ mother fu—"

But your fingers were touching...yeah you made him go to the celestials, "infinity and beyond!"

Diona hugged the stranger (you) as you comforted her, giving some candy which she declined with a pout. You disappeared into air as the Traveler and Paimon tried to get closer.

"Dang it! We were so close!" [Paimon]

The traveler sighed as they asked if Diona was ok. She was but closed the cats tail. As the Traveler went outside, they saw Mona. They quickly ran to her and tiredly asked her to look into the 'imposter'. As Mona tried, she opened her eyes and fell down. Although there was strangely a pillow landing her impact of the fall. The Traveler asked what happened as Paimon began to panick. Mona quickly said that she couldn't reveal..seems like she knows something

The traveler went back to the room, disappointed. Suddenly a note fell through the opened window.

"Hello outlander Traveler.

I heard you are finding me, so I am here to tell you I am going to Liyue. I know you are wondering, "why is this bi— I mean 'imposter' telling me this?" Well I would like to play this little game with you of trying to catch me. I hope you succeed!

From 'imposter'

Welp. The next stop is Liyue!

[vaporwavedoggie]

Ahahahah I should probably explain why I'm not on here as much atm, along with most of my other social media.

It's gonna be long but I know I have some folks on here worried about me so I'll put everything under the cut.

Alright buckle up, this will get long.

To shorten things, my chronic pain is significantly getting worse very quickly, along with heart issues.

Not to mention my shit mental health.

But here's the long story:

There's something up with my heart. I don't know exactly what the diagnosis will be, I have a few more tests including a fun little holter monitor placement or whatever it's called.

It's where I wear this monitor over my heart for a few days and press a button whenever I start having flareups. My flareups consist of my blood pressure suddenly dropping very low (I think the lowest it was clocked was somewhere in the 80s/60s range if I remember correctly), headaches, bad chest pain, limb weakness/numbness, sudden exhaustion/passing out, etc.

They did an echo on my heart but the results didn't tell me much other than I have a dialated left atrium. No idea what that means, don't know if it's even related to the shit going on with me. I won't find out until the other tests are done and looked over.

I'm going as far as to try and give up cigarettes for the time being for this. My doc gave me a ton of nicotine patches, so I'm really hoping those will help with the urges. I'm going to be going from smoking about half a pack or so a day to patches that are 7mg of nic, so uhhh yeah.

Another reason why I'm distancing myself from online spaces more other than my personal discord servers is because stressful stuff, discourse, all that makes my flareups much much worse. I'm doing it not to be a bitch, but for my own health. So for a bit I'll probably only post art I occasionally draw n what not.

Now on to the other issues. My lower back keeps me in damn near constant chronic pain. They did an xray on it, and my MyChart (fun little doctor app) said this about their findings:

"Vertebral body heights and alignment are well-maintained. No fracture or subluxation. Pedicles are intact. Mild loss of disc height at L5-S1."

I'm not entirely sure if that's anything important, again, I go to my pcp about it in the beginning of October since there's a few more issues they'd like to test me for before coming to a diagnosis and treating me.

As for my back pain though, it's to the point where it's nearly disabling me physically.

I've had it for many years. Idk exactly when it all started, but I really started noticing it around the time I was 19-20. I have a theory it's because one of my first jobs that I worked for about a year was at a warehouse. It was very physical labor.

I'd be lifting heavy boxes constantly to the point where when I got home I couldn't bend down from the pain. I'd just have to flop down on my bed and pass out. And this went on about 4 days a week for a year.

At first, it started off as a small patch on my lower back, at the base of my spine, not being able to be touched. The gentlest poke would feel like stabbing pain. And it only got worse over the years, with the area spreading.

Now it's to the point where I can't stand for long, and when I sit or lay down I have to shift my position every 10-20 minutes or it flares up. And I dread going to sleep for a number of reasons. Not just because of the night terrors I have damn near every night due to my CPTSD, but because I wake up in excruciating pain most of the time due to not being able to shift my body in my sleep.

Worst part is, when I sleep, I'm dead to the world. If the night terrors aren't too horrible that night, I'm like a rock. No one can move me. Lord knows my husband has tried. And I'll sleep for about 12-20+ hours at a time at this point.

Funny thing is? No matter how much sleep I get, even if I get the base recommended amount without under or over sleeping, I'm ALWAYS exhausted.

My doc has sent a referral for me to get a sleep study but they have yet to reach out to me. I suspect this may also contribute to my heart issues but idk for sure.

So yeah. It's not enough that I deal with shitty mental health issues on a constant, but also chronic physical health issues as well.

Worst part is my family is borderline poverty. Despite everything I'm STILL trying to get a job because my family needs the money, along with others in the house, including my oldest son and teenage son.

Yet for whatever reason, everyone claims they're hiring, yet won't hire any of us. For me, I understand. I always struggled to keep a job due to various issues. But my sons have a completely clean slate, and my roomie has a great resume with plenty of long history, yet no one will hire anyone. Not even McDonald's.

People act like it's all us. We try everything we can, from dressing up in our nicest clothes for the interview, following up with the job, being friendly, giving the interviewer our skills. Worst part is they act like they're fucking impressed, then turn around and claim they've decided to go with someone more qualified for the position, or they're not hiring anymore.

Yes, I know I'll hurt myself if I try working a job and pushing myself beyond my limits every day, but it's taking too damn long for disability to do shit. Disability is very hard to get in Texas for whatever reason and God it's stupid. It usually takes a minimum of 2-3 years for most, and we don't have that time.

The price of rent, groceries, and everything else keeps skyrocketing, yet my roomies won't get a raise on their disability, my husband won't get a raise on his job other than just a few cents once a year.

We're living by the skin of our teeth. Paycheck to paycheck. Most of our food comes from various food banks in the area we make multiple trips to a week.

Then when it comes to my mental health issues, I'm handling it the best that I possibly can.

My CPTSD has been flaring up. Then there's the other shit going on with my head I won't get into.

I'm nearly constantly haunted by trauma and I'm so fucking tired of it. I have to keep myself busy or it creeps into my mind. And I have somnophobia because every time I sleep I'm almost guaranteed to have a night terror. No, prasosin won't help.

Anyways that's a small portion of the shit im going through and why I probably won't be online much until I get shit sorted out.

Is it weird to be the happiest you've ever been in your life, yet also the most miserable??

[fritzes]

rank the m1000s 👀🙏

ooh okay, I’m not gonna do the ones that keep changing around (I’m sorry maria I love you but your 1000 isn’t getting on the list):

indian wells. for non taylor fritz related reasons I SWEAR (okay maybe a little bit). I mean, it's literally tennis paradise. no other masters can really compare to this in my opinion, there's something really magical about it. it's the first combined 1000 of the year, it is absolutely carrying the "sunshine" in sunshine double (we'll get to miami later), and did any other 1000 get its very own maya edit? I don't think so

monte carlo (don't kill me!). ok picking something to be #2 made me realize that the drop-off from indian wells is real, I had a hard time with this one. and as much as I dislike monte carlo as a place... that court has off the charts vibes. the 2023 edition might be one of my favorite tournaments ever, and I like the way it kicks off clay season. the vibes guys, the vibes!

cincinnati. tbh I'm surprising myself with this one because I've never reeeeeally been able to take cincy seriously because like. it's in ohio. it's known for having players hang out at an applebees. but jokes aside, I kinda love it. the place on the calendar is good, it's a nice warmup for the us open. also influenced by recency bias because the 2023 edition, both wta and atp, were so good. I don't know, I really like its place in the tour, it's just so solid

rome. if you thought cincy had recency bias, let me introduce you to the daniil-incudced overrating of rome. this kinda occupies the same space as cincy, being the real warmup tournament for rg, and same as cincy, I like its place in the calendar and the tour. except, unlike cincy, this is clay season so insanity galore. iga double bageling pliskova in the final that one time will always be iconic and of course, the hard court specialist himself winning this tournament will elevate it forever

miami. "but maya! miami is cursed! it's always raining! how can you put it so high?" two words: jannik sinner. yeah the jannik miami narratives strike a chord in my brain like few other player + tournament pairings do and it makes me so insane that I kind of learned to make gifs just because I had a jannik miami gifset idea. other than jannik, despite the nature of it being very much cursed, it does usually produce some really good tennis in the last few rounds

madrid. ah, madrid. if we were going off of tennis alone, this would be top 3 easily. back to back amazing igaryna finals, carlos' magical 2022 run, andy murray beating rafa in the final in straight sets somehow, ons' win in 2022. alas, there is more that just the tennis, and the organization of this tournament is genuinely horrible and so fucking sexist. a tournament like this does not deserve the quality of tennis it gets

doha/dubai. yes I know they're two separate 1000s this year but they've always flip-flopped in the past so as a 1000, it's always been one entity to me (and there's nothing that would put one above or below the other). there's always really good matches, obviously iga consistently sweeps doha and it's amazing, but dubai also gave us krejcikova's absolutely ridiculous 2023 run and this year's final was amazing. always a solid tournament with some great tennis

montreal/toronto. I feel bad for putting it so low, but it's always been kinda meh to me. 2023's chaos aside, this is the tournament where top players find their feet on hardcourts after wimbledon, and... I don't know. it's perfectly fine, but there's nothing really remarkable about it

shanghai/beijing. another one that I feel really bad for putting low, but there's something about that post-us open big tournament that just feels so bleh. the season is so long already and the players are just so exhausted. it doesn't usually take away from the quality of the tennis, it just doesn't have the same feeling as the stuff above it. I would say it feels a bit tacked on, but there's only one tournament I really think that about and that's...

paris. good god. there is something wrong with this tournament. I don't think an indoor 1000 is a bad idea, but the court and the lighting is just so bland, especially when compared to turin which is just two weeks later. at this point in the season, the top players want to be at the finals and anyone who isn't a top player just wants to be home and it just feels like an exhausted tournament. casper was right about one thing in his yap session the uts dinner: paris is easily the worst masters 1000

[leupagus]

I feel like Harris Burdick with all these plot ideas that I have to get around to actually, you know, writing in full

Anyway this one's got a tentative title of "Gonna Get Up Out The Ground," inspired in part by this post (and my rumination that there really SHOULD be some undead Hardy AUs out there).

-

The first time Ellie met Hardy was in a dream.

They'd been in Florida just a few days; she'd already gotten horribly sunburnt on her shoulders and Tom was one great tomato, but fortunately a sympathetic hotel worker had brought them a great big bottle of aloe vera and now they were enjoying some truly brain-rotting television while Joe and Fred were tramping about on the beach, responsibly sun-screened. 

At some point she must have nodded off because she woke up on quite a different beach — a beach she knew as well as her own heart, with the same sure rhythm. There was no one about but she wasn't lonely, or even alone; somewhere nearby, she knew, was the person she was looking for.

She wandered slowly up the Lesser Cliff Trail up to the old campsite, long since abandoned except for a half-dozen old campfire rings, lined with stones and forgotten. She walked to the edge and breathed in, the salt and cold filling her lungs with their familiar, comfortable sting. Along the edge, thousands of sea thrift blossoms nodded dreamily in the wind, pink and white against the green and blue.

"Took your time," said a voice behind her; she turned and squinted against the sun (the sun? it never shone from that direction, not like that, dull and heavy against the hills). He was a young man, late twenties, all gangling limbs with a flop of red-brown hair falling into his eyes and a ready smile. "But then I could never get the hang of time zones."

"You're five hours ahead," she told him, with that vague confidence you always have when you're dreaming. "It's only…" She tried to concentrate, but the numbers slipped like eels out of her grasp.

"Never mind," said the man. "It's still early, anyway — might not happen. And you're not the one, I'm sure of that at least." His smile took out whatever sting there might've been in the words. He had freckles along his cheeks and soft brown eyes, the sort she'd thought of as kind. "Don't be too angry at me, Miller. A bit is fine, though." And with another smile, he pushed her gently off the cliff.

She woke up with a start; Joe snorted in his sleep and rolled away from her, and she blinked away the dazzle of the sun in the shifting darkness of the hotel room. She shifted onto her other side, glancing over at the boys sleeping in the other bed and the crib, and was about to close her eyes again when something poked her in the neck.

It was a sprig of sea-thrift, still cold and damp.

-

The next time she met him was a shock — even over the horrified grief over seeing poor Danny, beautiful little man that he'd been, flung down like so much rubbish. At first she hardly registered, but when he held out his hand and gave his name, she looked at him — really looked.

"I know," she said, meaning to make some cutting remark about how he'd stolen her promotion. But instead what came out was, "You were five hours ahead."

He dropped his hand, looking tired. Looking more than tired; he resembled a corpse as much as the frail little body at their feet. Gone was the cheerful youth; he was old, even older than DI Charlford, with sick-pale skin and bruises under his eyes. His clothes hung off of him as though hiding nothing more than a skeleton underneath. "Do you want to do that here?" he asked, as though it made no difference to him.

"No," she decided. "But — later."

"Aye, fine," he sighed, just as Ellie heard, with the sinking remains of her heart, the shouted demands of Beth, growing closer.

-

Much later, he told her he'd been as shocked to see her that morning as she'd been to see him. "You'd been in my dreams a long time," he told her, spitting dirt and gravel out onto the grass. "I'd given up on you being real."

It was just gone seven in the morning — apparently all that nonsense about needing to wait until midnight on a new moon was just that — and Ellie'd been waiting for almost two hours, bundled up in a blanket from her car boot and sitting on a nearby tombstone. Hardy's grave, less than a day old, was marked by nothing more than the mound of dirt and a few sea-thrift flowers, which annoyed Hardy every time but which was, objectively, hilarious.

"How was I in your dreams and I only saw you the once before we met?" she demanded, handing him a water bottle. He took it and took a draught, spitting it out as well. Ellie made a face; this was the third time she'd watched this and it hadn't got less disgusting. He caught her expression and scowled.

"I didn't ask you to come," he reminded her, pouring some of the water into his palm and wiping at his face.

"No, you didn't. Are you going to answer the question?"

He took another drink, this time swallowing. "We'd better push on," he said, shaking the dirt from his trouser cuffs, and headed toward the carpark.

Rolling her eyes, Ellie chased after him. "Just don't get in before I put a tarp down or something," she said. "And by the way, not to say I told you so—"

"You're about to say 'I told you so,' I sense—"

"But I did warn you about Cooper and his temper."

"You didn't warn me he'd stab me with garden shears," Hardy grumped as he opened the gate for her.

"No, that bit surprised me," she admitted. "I did arrest him, but I'll be honest, I'm not sure what to charge him with. Murder seems a bit harsh, considering," and she waved vaguely. "You know."

"Attempted murder?" Hardy offered. "No one's ever tried to kill me before. Don't," he added, as she opened her mouth. "Just drive me home so I can change."

"Resurrection makes you really grumpy, you know that?"

"Maybe I should try coffee, always does wonders for your personality."

[fakegingerrights]

Mind the Gap

[I haven’t actually posted the first fic in this new style yet but the idea is pretty much short 1-2 scene quickfics about 5-6 hunner words I can write in between my class breaks instead of trying to fit my ideas entirely into whole fics. This is Echo x Reader, just a fluffy little thing.]

You cackled at Echo’s exasperation over the comm, tugging on a jacket and your shoes as you went to go fetch him from his predicament.

He was stuck a few levels above you, where he had been visiting Crosshair and his partner. Since the war had ended, a lot had changed with you two. Changes in routine were common, especially with simple things. With a mechanic down the street from your little housing block, one of the ‘simple things’ that had been neglected in civilian life was the charging of Echo’s alternate batteries for his legs, in case the kinetic charger failed.

Which lead to the current predicament. Echo had tripped over a gap in the catwalk on his way home. He had meant to get the kinetic charger on his left leg fixed that evening, but his leg had decided to die on him, leaving him stuck.

“Yes, because this is so funny.” He grumped as you came into sight with a new battery.

“I mean, it kinda is.” You shrugged. “The tough and gutsy ARC trooper of a thousand battles defeated by his own lack of foresight and a faulty battery charger.” You crouched down by where his foot was caught in the gap.

The plating was loose and with a little delicate maneuvering and you pulling up on the loose panel of the catwalk, you managed to get his foot free with minimal scuff marks on the glossy black coating of his prosthetic.

With a hand on your shoulder for balance the two of you helped him hobble to the lift down to your level.

“Hey, it’s alright. Accidents happen.” You reassure him, kissing his cheek which was still red with embarrassment. “And I’m sorry for laughing. You’re just so unflappable and careful and brave that it’s so funny to me you’d be stopped by a dead battery of all things.”

“…when you put it that way, it is pretty amusing.” Echo conceded, the embarrassed blush fading.

“Besides, any excuse to get in your pants sounds great for me.”

The comment got you a callused palm to the face as he playfully shoved you away, making a face. “That was horrible.”

“How else am I gonna get at the panel at your thigh?” You pout. Echo rolled his eyes.

“You aren’t going to be doing anything. I can replace the battery on my own.” He huffed, hopping on his good foot as you unlocked and opened the door, flopping on the couch as soon as he was in range. His dead leg stuck out a comical angle.

“I know you can, dear.” You sigh, helping him tug his pants off and folding them neatly, leaving him in his undershorts and giving access to the panel on his thigh. Leaning down, you press a kiss to the ring of scars that just barely peak out from where his visible leg ends and the metal starts, although you knew from past experiences his legs went down farther inside the prosthetic.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Echo muttered, the blush creeping back up his neck.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You winked at him cheekily. Echo deftly got the panel on his thigh open and the battery changed out. You pulled him to his feet as he flexed his ankle, then knee to check nothing had been damaged.

“Had enough adventure today?” You ask, watching him take a few test paces.

“Nope. We’re going to that mechanic and getting the leg fixed right now.”

Snorting, you rolled your eyes and grabbed your coat yet again.

[harleybeaumont]

Sneak Peek 👀👀👀

It's been a while since I posted but I thought I'd share some of what I have in the works!

Unintentional - Chapter 15

(It's been a long time so I hope you guys haven't forgotten about this one!)

Liam snuggled as close as he could to Max, while his hands were still cuffed to the bedpost. Last night felt like an amazing dream. Everything had turned out perfectly. Dinner, the boat ride, the blue lights he attached to the boat, the proposal.. And especially the amazing, intimate night the two of them had shared together afterwards. Life was good, great even.

Liam’s cell phone buzzed insistently on the bedside table, but without Max uncuffing him, he obviously couldn’t get it. Eh, let it go to voicemail. Liam sighed and rested his head against Maxwell’s, but before he could go back to sleep, his phone buzzed again. Then Maxwell’s started ringing.

“Hey.. babe, your phone.” Liam whispered, causing Max to wake up and look around in confusion as both of their phones continued ringing.

Max fumbled with his cell phone, placing it to his ear as he lay back next to Liam. “Yello?” He mumbled and rubbed his tired eyes. “What?!” Max shot up, gripping the phone tighter, looking back at Liam.

“What? What is it? Who is it?” Liam searched Maxwell’s stricken face. Clearly something horrible had happened. “Max! Is everyone ok?”

Maxwell blinked back tears, “Hang on a sec, Ri.” 

It was Riley… That means something awful must have happened to Drake! “Oh god, is Drake ok?!”

Max dropped the phone and quickly unlocked Liam’s cuffs. “Yes. Everyone is ok, babe.”

He grabbed the phone off of the bed and put it on speaker. “Hey Ri, Liam’s here with me. Can you, uh.. Repeat what you told me?”

Riley sighed deeply. “God.. I’m so sorry about this, guys. It looks like the world found out about your engagement already. The media is going insane.”

Mardi Gras Mayhem

(a collaborative fic I've been working on with a few other writers! I'm writing for Maxwell, Tariq, and Neville! Here's a bit of Max and Tariq's!)

Maxwell

“Tonight you are an honorary member of my bachelorette party and we are gonna make sure you have a good time.”

“Whoohoo!” Maxwell yelled as he jumped in the air with a huge grin. “I’m Max, by the way.”

The bride-to-be pointed to all the women in the group in turn. “Ginger, Allison, Mandy, and Hope. And I’m Jess.”

Max could barely contain his excitement. “How did Mandy get that adorable plushie!? I need one! Need!!!”

Mandy laughed, “Watch and learn! Ready ladies?”

Another float began making its way past and the ladies jumped up and down, screaming along with the crowd. Suddenly, the group raised their tight t-shirts again, exposing their breasts and shimming around. Maxwell watched in awe as the men on the float reached into their bag and threw cups, plushies, beads, and bejeweled flip flops right in their direction. Holy shit! The secret is.. titties!!

Tariq

“Ladies! Get out here!” Coco called out and several half dressed women emerged into the room.

“Oh dear! I’m so sorry!” Tariq covered his eyes and spun around, mortified. He had witnessed more nudity on this trip than he had ever seen in his life!

“What do we have here?” A deep voice asked curiously and Tariq lowered his hands. When he looked at the person in front of him he saw a six foot tall woman with broad shoulders, makeup, a wig cap, and a gold dress. To the left of them, a man was changing out of a button up shirt and into a rainbow halter top.

For the first time since he arrived, Tariq noticed how tall the waitresses on either side of him were. The more he looked around, the more he realized how tall everyone in the dressing room was. 

“Oh dear,” Rosy chuckled. “I think he just now figured it out!”

Tariq looked around, feeling embarrassed by his naivety. “This is a.. a..”

“A drag show, honey!” Coco laughed.

The Shower Slip Up

(I have been teasing this one for a while and I honestly have no idea why I haven't posted it yet! Gonna try to post this next week! This is a one shot from my fic Love Me The Way I Am with Maxwell x MC (Harley). I'm just gonna leave you with this one sentence 🤣🤣🤣)

If anyone had told Harley that stuffy, prudish Bertrand Beaumont would one day be laying next to her nude, she would have thought they were insane.

I am also working on the final chapter of Maxwell's Jolly Holiday, but so far it's only in my head so I don't have anything to share! 😆 😅 don't worry I didn't forget about it!

[wynnyfryd]

AO3 first lines

rules: post the first lines of your 10 most recently published AO3 stories. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

a masterpiece of art, it’s true | yogi steve x adhd eddie pt 3, M, 3k

In the three minutes it takes them to get from the couch to Steve’s bedroom, Eddie seems to remember that he’s completely worn out from the combination of whiskey and coming so sweetly all over Steve’s tongue. Steve licks his lips, savors the evidence still lingering in his mouth, and tries not to look too over the moon when Eddie flops back onto his mattress with an exhausted huff.

stupid fucking star stuff | stardust au, M, 3.4k (in progress)

“Munson, stop tongue-fucking my merch displays,” Guy scolds him, shoving Eddie away from the glass he’s been drooling over. His beloved is laid out inside the case, lit up from behind like some fair maiden sleeping in a mystical wood, just waiting for her one true love to come and plant some sick riffs on her gleaming body.

“I’d be so good to you, baby,” Eddie whispers to the guitar, fingertips trailing over the glass lid.

relax (that’s that) | yogi steve x adhd eddie pt 2, E, 2.6k

The bats are choking him. One of the stupid little fuckers has its tail around his throat, and three more curl around his thrashing limbs, sinking their teeth into the soft flesh of his belly, gnawing their way through to the good bits, the muscle and sinew and his fucking intestines and—

“—Eddie!” Steve shouts, shaking his shoulders with his big warm hands

relax (lay back) | yogi steve x adhd eddie pt 1, E, 12k

“Eddie!” Steve calls out playfully as he weaves his way through the rows of mats, surveying the class’s posture. “Get those buns out of the air, come on, now.”

So yeah, becoming weirdly close friends with his former sort-of nemesis turned yoga instructor crush in the wake of surviving unspeakable evils together is, uh…

It’s going horribly.

TITS! magazine | exactly what the title says lmao, E, 11.8k

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute

Just sit right there

I'll tell you how I came on the tits of a guy with great hair

No Son of Mine | hurt-comfort, M, 4.4k

I seen those boys kissing boys

Open-mouth in the street

But I raised my son to be a righteous man

I made it clear to him what fear of God means

The path we walk is only narrow and straight

No son of mine will wander astray

- Desert, Brand New

Steve shows up at Eddie’s door at 8:46pm.

i’ll stop the world and freeze with you | ice skating drabble, G, 617

Eddie flounders, arms flailing as his feet slip out from under him for the fourth time, and he lands chin first on the scuffed-up ice with a hard thud.

The Great Scavenger Hunt of 1986 | christmas fluff, T, 7.9k

“Steve,” Dustin calls as he skids into the Harrington kitchen on Christmas Eve Eve with his muddy shoes still on.

babysitters and book signings | famous author eddie au, G, 4.4k

Eddie’s not staring. The man currently shepherding a gaggle of college kids up to his booth is tall and blond and tan with wire glasses perched on his freckled nose and biceps that threaten to burst right out of his silly striped polo shirt, and Eddie is a professional who meets thousands of fans at conventions every year and he’s. not. staring.

patience is a virtue | edging pwp, E, 1.7k

Steve’s gonna fucking die. He’s close to planning his funeral arrangements at this point, absently running through a list of florists and pianists he might still know from his church days, desperate for a distraction because—

“Keep your hips still, sweetheart,” Eddie chides, forearm like a crowbar over Steve’s jolting hips as he pins him down again.

thank you for the tag @infinite-orangepeel 💜 tagging @gorgeousgreymatter-x @steddielations @aidaronan and anyone else who wants to play

[abbinurmel]

I spent the past couple hours tailoring this aimless rant on YT, in response to a person merely saying how much they'd love for a reboot of 'Cow & Chicken' on adult swim, cos they could say whatever they like on there. I posted it here, cos YT doesn't wanna allow me to post anything right now, which is probably for the best.

This is gonna be a dumb rant. I got sucked down a rabbit hole, cos this is a favorite topic of mine to talk about and I'm procrastinating horribly on purpose on a lot of dull paperwork. So strap in before reading my garbage. You're warned now, don't hafta TLDR or whatever, thanks, I already know. …Anyways. For those who care about irrelevant, shitty opinions:…I love Cow & Chicken. A lot. On paper I know exactly why it seems like a great idea to reboot on 'adultswim', purely on the merit they do things more outrageously. I'm certain many would watch this. It's actually kinda weird there hasn't been one yet, when you think about it, given this age of rehashes. It already has the raunchy humor and gross art down, seems like a match made in heaven, right?- It'd be easy too, "Cow & Chicken" wasn't exactly lavishly drawn or had a big cast. Well… Much as I think there could be a slim possibility of it happening, for it to be good, and IF they do good, to be wildly entertaining…I don't think "Cow & Chicken" is going to ever get actually rebooted. And I don't think it benefits from being rebooted, either, which is really the only reason you should try to reboot things ever in the first place. The lore of an IP needs to benefit in being revisited, somehow, and ESPECIALLY, SPECIFICALLY, if brought back for adults. It is very unlikely gonna be executed right, ironically BECAUSE of this show's already semi-adult nature. And the reasons why, is endemic to why a whole lot of current modern shows, and movie/live action series remakes, are suffering too. -And no, it is NOT due to the reasons some of you're likely thinking of. It is NOT cos of any tired old: "things are just too safe and WOKE /PC culture now!" theories. (That sort of affair is highly subjective/means basically nothing or very different things to different people. Pretty impossible to gauge due to how all over the place/ludicrously out of touch with general fans censors and networks can be, no matter what their political leanings or personality is. Which can and do range all over the place. So I won't go into that topic as it's an entirely different problem to what I am talking about. Plus I was there for the 80s and 90s, its pretty silly to say we can not get away with any wild things these days, cos let me assure you, by comparison, there is a LOT technically more we CAN do and say now, in both kid's and adult shows, that would never get by in a million years 30 years ago. You couldn't even just say the word 'kill', 'poop' or 'die' then, most the time. Let that sink in.)

…See to me, if it ironically hadn't ever been restrained by censors/made for kids, C&C might've been NOWHERE as good. Like. At all. It might've actually been one of the worst CN shows aired. Just 100% annoying gross-out show laziness, like a lot of shows of its era. The main reason it didn't flop was cuz 1) duh, Charles Adler, the main voice, and 2) it did its 'thing' the way original 'Ren & Stimpy' did. It didn't beat for beat copy them. Their writing/visuals just simply knew how to cross the line JUST enough, keeping the raunchy humor tucked in JUST as far as they could push it, but knew also on the whole how to always stay utterly light hearted, simple and goofy. That's where its core identity is. It's the dumb blithe enthusiastic Innocence of pretty much the entire cast, and the goofy simplicity of the plots/gags, while they get to say out the side of the mouth much more 'mature' sinister things….It works purely b/c of that contrast; sometimes with innuendo being camoflauged extremely subtly, sometimes NOT subtly at all. -But it would always go ping-ponging gracefully between the two. Never too much Idiotically Innocent, or too Smugly Adult and Crass. It would do this, with actual wit. It didn't JUST have gross visuals or say dirty jokes. It did all this with a theatrical, self-known flair. Shows like C&C and its fellow Golden Age shows basically are very good at doing what franchises like Monty Python were known for, and what Regular Show and Gravity Falls and similar would do later on, just with more visual ugliness.

…Meanwhile, a lot of other 1990's/current shows DO NOT have this memo. They do not have that balance, they lack the awareness of what is the difference between 'sneaking in occasional very dirty jokes with wit' and "throwing every and any kinda joke at a wall and not even bothering to look at what sticks." A LOT of 'gritty comedy parody reboot' things are doing this, and also doing this same idea just with the "dramatic tropes" instead of comedic tropes too. ….Including Ren & Stimpy itself. -Once 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' moved to SpikeTV, they went fully 'adult', and by direct result went 1000% downhill. I don't ascribe that to just poor writing(the original has flat stupid writing too), or ugly looking animation (so is the original). Not even John K.'s…ahem, history. If you fixed his behavior, and abusive attitude; made all his notoriously horrible bad jokes tamer, I still think 'Adult Party' would've tanked, because doing this concept in of itself is a fool's errand. It's not just rebooting nostalgic childhood IPs that's the problem, but specifically attempting to repackage something that was already a mild bit 'tawdry', so now that it is INTENTIONALLY for adults only. Whenever the entertainment industry does that 'gritty effect', be it games or movies or Netflix or comic books, it's 8/10 doomed, because you essentially neutered the core joke or appeal. You've taken away the cool 'taboo' point of saying hidden naughty/clever things, in a story you're not SUPPOSED to. You're able to state and do whatever you want, and so there's not only no leash to hold down any of the weaker ideas, there's almost no "rebellious challenge" to its bite whatsoever, even when those jokes/story ideas succeed. Noone is gonna be shocked or laugh nearly as much when a Red Guy says "KISS MY ASS!" unironically in an adultswim show, as they would if he says "KISS MY ASS!!!!!!….-Her name is GERTRUDE! :D" -and then happily pulls onstage a donkey wearing a big bowtie in on a rope, because this renders it now a pun and technically 'child safe' to flaunt now. (This isn't a real joke from the show btw, I'm only making this up for convenience. But you get the idea. It's the precise sort of silly thing you know he'll do. :P )

Neither the audience nor execs are 'prey' anymore for the writers to be creatively poking the boundaries with, when you remove that expectation. It's different if your IP started with an already adult geared story to begin with, but, when it's a full on polar opposite shift in tone and/or age demographics like that, it's almost always pulled off in a confused messy way, because even the original work's creators themselves, (IF they're even kept around, or are familiar with the source material if they are new), are trapped now in completely unfamiliar territory. Without a deeply wild reinventing of the show's lore or main tenets(a thing which nobody has ever been upset by on the internet!), it usually doesn't have anything else to stand on, especially with a purely episodic comedy show, like Cow and Chicken is. Once you take out this 'vulnerability' in our dynamic, between child/censor guardians, and writers, this main core joke of not knowing what the writers are and are NOT actually going to get away with is gone, and so much of the stakes now is irreversibly lost. Sometimes being hidden from the details is what makes a gag all the more funnier, or a scary scene all the scarier, or a cringe scene all the cringier. If we take away this, things lack a lot more of the colorful shock & ridiculousness. The main DNA in these classic "deranged shows", like Ed, Edd n Eddy, Ren&Stimpy, Rocko and C&C, that a lot of nostalgic fans, and current show-runners often alike forget; is the simple fact that such shows had to weigh the balance of: 'being a sincere kid show' and 'trying to get away with something they're not supposed to'. …With very deep emphasis on the words: "GET AWAY WITH". To me, a show is not getting "away" with something good, be it a message, a joke, a deeper sense of drama, if you constantly always spell it out for us, and we know you lose nothing and have to take no creative risk by displaying it for the audience. You're not really earning a prize, if someone just right at the start, hands you a medal. In other words….Every good memorable/subversive classic cartoon show, is not beloved just because they got to have crazy visuals, or say and do unhinged jokes. …You needed to be MEMORABLY STRANGER for having those qualities, in the first place. If you do something unhinged and bizarre, but coming in I expect to see it, is it really an unhinged show?

See, there's a reason why most of the frequent reboots of Scooby Doo like 'Velma' atrociously fail. And it's not because they changed someone that was formerly white, or made someone like Shaggy have a different name, or backstory. Or even because they overhauled an old wholesome character into a rude, toxically mean, judgemental unpleasant character. Yes this does affect some tastes, but on the whole, that wasn't the core problem for most watchers. LOADS of shows have a morally awful, pompous, or an incompetent, chaotic mess for a central protagonist, or reinvent them in some way if they come from an old property. Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, and Space Ghost Coast to Coast did more or less exactly what "Velma" does, where they took an old IP and completely transformed their roles/upgraded their style of humor for a more adult audience. Rick & Morty has a toxic main protagonist. South Park has four of them. Family Guy and American Dad has them, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, the list goes on. Even kid shows do this, and sometimes get away with it well too: Dan Versus did it well so did Ren and Stimpy, again, back when it understood how it worked. Having a mean protag or changed fundamentals, isn't why so many reboots don't work. …What happens with bad modern remakes of Scooby Doo, (and not just in shows like Velma), is often that they forget how to make things have that beautiful sense of contrast, that Cow and Chicken does, in its writing. They do not know how to both show this is a show rooted in something sincere, WHILE ALSO saying outrageously dirty/surreal/mean/pompous or dark things inside that vessel. The appreciation for the context of its background, is what makes shows like 'Mystery Inc.' and 'Zombie Island' work, while Velma and other SBs, do not. If we took Cow & Chicken, stripped it of it's irony, what else do we have except yet another dime a dozen weaker show, constantly going 'haha, me say the rude words!/do the gross bad thing again!' adult oriented show, with no fangs? Another exhausting reboot, which takes yet another unoriginal idea, robs its reputation, and wastes our time? …There's a way to do this kind of thing right. I just do not think most people, not even some of the most talented in the business, have the freedom or ability to do so. Not even Samurai Jack, a legend of an animated program, escaped this 'update it for adults!' treatment unscathed. If you're gonna update something for adults, you really have to think about WHY it was good in the first place. Not take just what you had, and stamp lots of expletetives or flashes of red to indicate actual blood on there. You need either to actually SAY something, completely useful and different, or, just stick to your guns with the old formula, and do it so well it exceeds the hype for the original. Which is also near being impossible to do. Hence, it begs the question, why do it at all?

…Sorry for this TEDTalk, I just love being an absurd mess at 2AM when I have better more boring adult things to do.

[video-game-guitars]

alright so i’m gonna try not to post about Guitar Hero/Rock Band controllers too often because those are super easy to make fun of, but i HAVE to mention powergig

the powergig guitar is a weird hybrid between a regular guitar and a rhythm game controller, meant to like blur the lines? it was released with a game of the same name marketed mainly by destroying thousands of Guitar Hero controllers

no this isn’t a joke

the main gimmick was that when you wanted to go from poorly playing real guitar on an all plastic shitbox with a horrible fretboard, you’d be able to lock the strings with the bridge and switch it to controller mode, allowing you to play powergig AND other 5 fret games with this abomination

it’s no wonder the game flopped, and if you happen to find one of these beasts laying around you can’t even use it as a controller because an xbox 360 dashboard update broke the controller entirely. please watch this video on the topic if you’re curious, it’s just as bad as it looks.