#this post was in my draft for the same amount of time it took me to beat the game

[un-pearable]

hiya!!! and welcome back to part 3 of my sonic 2 (2022) sparked nostalgia celebration, with the ever elusive tails and knuckles interactions! they’re good kids sega <3

(knuckles & sonic) (tails & sonic) (knuckles & tails)

[beevean]

Retranslating parts of the Curse of Darkness script

I thought to replay the game again, this time with Japanese voices to change the experience a little

I’m not sure whether the translation was JP -> ENG or ENG -> JP: it looks like the latter to me due to the lip sync. Anyway, the two versions are surprisingly faithful to each other, but I wanted to check if there were any interesting differences... and there are :P

For reference, I used this playthrough for the Japanese cutscenes, and the English script in the wiki.

First cutscene

Many interesting differences in this iconic cutscene. Isaac sounds much angrier in Japanese than he does in English, and I think he’s quite less effeminate too, although they couldn’t change his body language :P

ENG: With this, the most forbidden of arts, a wisp of conjured matter can be transformed into a hellish devil! There are but two humans who possess this magnificent power: you and I.

JP: A forbidden secret art feared by humans. Creating a devil that serves you and you only, from a bundle of magical power! There are only two people in this world who have mastered this power: you and I.

Additional details provided by the Japanese version: Devil Forging is “feared by humans”, implying their tragic pasts as outcasts of humanity, and Hector and Isaac aren’t the only ones with this power, but they’re the absolute best in their field. I also like the description of “bundle of magical power”, although both versions are equally “mystical” in this regard lol. Calling the Devil Forging “secret art” also refers to the name of the track playing in this scene, Flattery With The Secret Arts (“秘術との迎合”).

(speaking of “you and I”, Hector and Isaac use ore for themselves and kisama for each other.)

ENG: Ah, but you will, Hector. And soon! You have no choice. Without it, I could crush you in an instant... but that wouldn't be very satisfying, now would it?

JP: What's the point of a boring oath? It would be easy to destroy you here and now. You, who gave up your powers and became the lowest of the low, nothing but mere scum.

I love how in the cutscene you can see Isaac rolling his eyes at Hector’s oath so his snarky remark in Japanese is even more fitting 😂 but also geez man, I haven’t taken control of Hector yet and you’ve already killed him.

(if in English the last part sounds clunky, the original phrase is “ただのカスと成り下がった”: I really wanted to convey as much of Isaac’s contempt in English as I could)

ENG: You deserve a most gruesome fate for the humiliation you brought upon me three years ago.

JP: However, even if I destroyed such a thing, it wouldn’t make up for the humiliation I received three years ago.

The wording is vague, this is the version that makes the most sense to me. The Japanese line sounds even more bitter, as if even Isaac understands that it’s all futile and killing Hector won’t restore his old life, but he has literally nothing left other than his hatred.

(and yes, he says “such a thing”, which is a very Japanese expression but I’ve decided to keep it because, just in case it wasn’t clear enough, Isaac may be a little peeved at Hector :V)

ENG: But in the end, the glorious vengeance you seek will not be yours -- t'will be mine!

JP: That's it. I'll be waiting for you, as the former strongest Devil Forgemaster of the Dark Lord’s army.

No idea why they completely changed the line here, but Isaac’s farewell in Japanese is slightly more condescending. As a note, he actually calls Dracula “Demon King”.

Yes, all of these are Isaac’s lines. It’s not favoritism: Hector’s lines in Japanese and English are nearly identical to each other. Except for this one:

ENG: Heed my words. I will hunt you down like the beast you are. I will have my revenge!

JP: Very well! I'll do as you wish! And I will corner you, without fail!

... man, poor Hector doesn’t sound nearly as raw in Japanese :(

(well, this fits the different voices: Takahiro Yoshimizu sounds much younger and softer than Crispin Freeman. I had no idea Freeman carried most of Hector’s badassery)

Also, in the Japanese version, the name is for some reason translated as “Abolition Castle”! But the kanji correctly mean “Abandoned Castle” (“廃城”).

~

Creating an Innocent Devil

Minor, but Hector calls Isaac “polite” (“丁寧”) because he went through all the trouble of carving instructions on a stele, and after the previous cutscene I find it hilarious 😂

(actually, the whole mental image of Isaac taking the time to write guides for Hector is hilarious, they really used to be friends lmao)

ENG: O great powers of darkness! Release to me one of the tortured souls! Let me infuse him with my life-force and awaken him to the world of the living! Immaculate being... Appear before me now.

JP: O magical power, converge here! Play the melody of an irrational soul, under my command, a person who is not of the human world. Innocent soul, come to life here!

The Devil Forging formula was hard to translate. Yes, it uses musical terminology, しらべ (melody) and 奏でる (to play a stringed instrument). The most interesting part is how it specifies that Devil Forgemasters don’t belong to the human world, a theme quite pervasive in Hector’s and Isaac’s arcs.

(nothing interesting with the conversation with Zead. He simply calls Devil Forging “splendid”, a downgrade from “it’s enough to make your blood run cold”. He uses watashi and speaks rather politely.)

~

“Baljhet Mountains” is spelled as “Balget Mountains” (“Baljit Mountain Range” in Japanese), which I prefer.

Not much to report about the cutscene where we meet Julia. The most unique change is that she doesn’t outright say that she can envision the future in Japanese: she simply “has some knowledge” (“それなりの知識はあるわ”). To be fair, it’s not like we ever see her powers lol, although it ruins my headcanon about her and Isaac sharing powers :( As for her speech pattern, she uses watashi and often ends sentences in wa but she’s otherwise quite brusque. Hector calls her kimi, and most importantly forget about the Shakespearan style she and Hector use to talk to each other in English, here they speak like normal people :P

~

St. Germain

ENG: I won't bandy words with you. I have an urgent request. Please refrain from pursuing Isaac any further.

JP: I'm here to ask a favor of you, it's a little thing. Please stop chasing Isaac any further. 

St. Germain is even more polite in Japanese, as expected. He uses watashi for himself and speaks in perfect keigo.

Hector also calls St. Germain “Isaac’s minion” (“手先”) specifically, and St. Germain says “adios” when he leaves lol. (sonic adventure 2 reference?)

Garibaldi Temple is also the Cathedral of Garibaldi.

~

Trevor

ENG: For one that served under Dracula, you seem much too weak. It's been said that the Devil Forgemaster's power rivals that of Death.

JP: You’re too weak to be the only surviving Devil Forgemaster, who was said to be equal to Dracula's aide Death.

It just says that Devil Forgemasters are “equal to” Death, not that they’re specifically as strong as Death - obviously that’s implied, but the use of the word “同等” also implies that Hector and Isaac were equals to Death in rank. That’s pretty high up.

Also, “The only surviving Devil Forgemaster” makes Hector’s comment “Oh, so you’re hunting Isaac as well” flow a little better: you can see how he could make the connection that Trevor only knew about Isaac. In English the “surviving” bit was moved later (“Could he have survived? It cannot be”), and Hector’s comment feels more forced. (although it’s still odd because Isaac was into hiding all those years, so why does Trevor assume that one Forgemaster survived but the other died? oh well)

(of course, Trevor also uses ore for himself and kisama for Hector)

~

The cutscene at the beginning of Mortvia Aqueduct is unremarkable, but the level is named “Mortavia Ruins” (“Mortavia Aqueduct” in Japanese). Why did they take out the A? It sounds better :(

~

Zead vs. St. Germain

ENG: That's ridiculous. You have different rules for yourself--

JP: What a funny joke. Your objective--

Not only St. Germain comes off as more sarcastically polite (Zead calls him kisama but he reciprocates with the courteous anata), the dialogue hints more strongly at Zead’s suspicious nature. He has an objective that we aren’t allowed to hear, huh?

ENG: I cannot have you interfering any longer. 

JP: I won't let you get in our way anymore.

Yep, our way (“我々”). Just in case you didn’t find Zead suspicious enough.

Finally, not quite related to translation, but I find the name of the track playing here interesting: Those Who Desire the Resurrection (“復活を望む者”). I think it should be singular, for obvious reasons.

Also, please enjoy this utter mangling of “Jigramunt”:

(technically it says “Jigrumunt” in katakana, but the English spelling is just beautiful)

~

The siblings’ sad fate

Not much to report about the cutscenes with Isaac and Julia in Cordova Town (or “Town of Cordoba” in Japanese), except one line that hit me hard:

EN: And also... if you are the one to slay him... only then could I live with it.

JP: Only then I could accept it. Even if I lose my family...

I think we’re all sleeping on how much Julia was hurting through CoD, game itself included :( Michiru Yamane as usual gets it.

~

Fight with St. Germain

Eneomaos Machine Tower is the even weirder “Clock Tower of Eneomaios”.

Only one line stood out to me:

ENG: In this space, I may be partially freed of the fetters of time.

JP: If you are here, the shackles of time will be partially released.

Actually there is no subject in the first part, but I assume that St. Germain is talking about Hector because he just confirmed that he entered Zead’s “trap” normally. Again, I think it makes the conversation flow better.

~

Trevor vs. Isaac

Similarly to Geclmunt, the name of Aiolon Ruins gets twisted into Iororn Ruins. It’s spelled correctly in katakana.

And this line from Isaac baffled me for days.

ENG: You vanquished Lord Dracula by a fluke, a mere twist of fortune. Yet I grant, you are adept.

JP: Not for nothing you destroyed Lord Dracula, even though it was a fluke. But the game is just about to begin.

Other translations would be “no wonder you destroyed Lord Dracula...” or “as expected from the one who destroyed Lord Dracula...” (“ドラキュラ様を滅ぼしただけのことはある”).

While his voice still sounds angry, Isaac is much more impressed by Trevor in Japanese: in English he sounds like he’s tacking on the half-hearted praise by force, while in Japanese it’s the other way around, as if the “fluke” part is an afterthought. I am genuinely surprised. Isaac, hon, why are you being so flattering with the man who killed your Lord? So let me get this straight, you’re a complete ass to Hector, you called him scum, and sure I don’t blame you, but Trevor nooo, even though he ruined your life just as much as Hector did you’re standing there like “oh wow you’re awesome, now I know why Lord Dracula was defeated!”.

between this and the stabbing scene, i think i understand now why the japanese side of the fandom seems to prefer isaavor over isaactor. yeah. yeah i don’t blame y’all. and trevor ain’t kidding either, in english he says “you’re not without skill” but in japanese he says “you’re pretty good” - i’d say “just kiss already”, but isaac already got me covered so :V

ENG: On the contrary. To obtain the vengeance I seek, Isaac must be slain by my hand alone. Ergo, nothing was lost. 

JP: Not really. After all, I promised that I would defeat Isaac with my own hands. I’m rather relieved.

I like how Hector puts it as a promise, the one he made to Julia, and not just his own selfish sense of revenge. He cares and was touched by Julia’s sadness. On the other hand, he’s outright relieved that he still has the chance to kill Isaac himself, now that’s the badass Hector I know and love.

(this is also where Hector and Trevor switch to omae for each other, indicating that they’ve become closer allies, even if Trevor is still being a prideful asshole :P)

~

Rematch against Trevor

ENG: “Oh, so that is why he fought me earlier!”

“What is it, Belmont?”

JP: “Damn it! The battle earlier...!”

“Why are you panicking?”

Trevor is more worried about the fact that Isaac stole his blood, and Hector notices it. I like how more serious this version sounds.

ENG: This is your reason! Defend yourself! 

JP: No arguing! Let’s go!

I’ll just point this out because Trevor says “問答無用”, and when I searched it to double check if it had any other meaning, I discovered that yes, it does. It’s a porn genre, apparently. Just wanted to share.

But yeah, the English version is funnier this time :P

ENG: For now, hold the image of Isaac in your mind. Think only of defeating him. Hector... Hunt him down. And when you have him, show him no mercy.

JP: I want you to concentrate on defeating him now. I’m depending on you, Hector. Make sure you catch up with him.

Uh... well, the two versions say the same thing, but Trevor’s tone feels weird to me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, so I’ll just leave this here. In general, I never understood why he’s taking Isaac so personally.

~

The Infinite Corridor became the Corridor of the Inferno, wow! Interestingly, the first part of the Japanese name, “無間”, means “ceaseless”, but is also associated to the Buddhist Avici Hell (“無間地獄”), or Hell of Uninterrupted Suffering. Welp.

Nothing to report in the Stabbing scene, as much as I wish it was, except that listening to it in Japanese is an experience that needs to be had. this is the point where cod officially becomes an animated yaoi audio drama

~

Before Dracula’s Castle

I just wanted to show how much better the dialogue flows in Japanese :P

ENG: “I know not what happened to you in the past, but there is no time now for regret. We must try to cleanse the castle and dispel the vile curse...”

“If the curse from demonic power, I may be able to find the source! Indeed, I must, for this is something only I can do.”

JP: “I don't know what happened, but there’s no time to regret it. At the very least, we have to stop the curse somehow...”

“If the source of the curse is magical power, I might be able to do something about it. No, it’s something that only I can do. ”

Is this your idea of flirting, guys? :P

~

Rematch against Isaac

Much like the first cutscene, this one is juicier than the previous ones when it comes to dialogue changes. I don’t know why it’s Isaac in particular who changed so much in translation.

ENG: You want me to regain my powers. Now I see why. I fell right into your plot... After 3 years of peace, I'd lost my edge.

JP: You must feel good about yourself, don’t you? I fell right for your scheme. You’ve fallen so low... and so did I.

Finally it’s Hector’s turn to have a completely different, intriguing line. In English, there’s almost an undertone of... respect, for how Isaac played him like a fiddle? In Japanese, Hector sounds more biting (and tbf Isaac is even more of a little shit here lol, he’s like “Thank you so much for resurrecting the castle <3″) and much more disappointed in himself. No reference to his powers and how he was rusty: he doesn’t care about Isaac’s plot, he cares about the guilt he’s feeling. Then you remember how he was ready to die in the ending, and well...

The last line is “落ちぶれたものだ、この俺もな”. “落ちぶれる” means “to come down in the world; to fall low; to be ruined; to be reduced to poverty; to fall on hard times​”, or "a person's social status and standard of living deteriorate, and they become miserable”. Very... interesting choice of word, to say the least.

ENG: And I've sharpened mine. I've been waiting quite a long time to plot my revenge. Not only did my Lord die because of you -- you stripped me of my pride, my home. Now I shall make you suffer as I suffered. You shall die a most painful, gruesome death!

JP: It's merely an entertainment to me. Three years ago, you defeated me. And then I lost my Lord Dracula... my pride, a place to return to... Everything, yes, you took everything away from me. Have a taste of the same hellish torment and die in despair!

Obviously Isaac’s response differs, but that’s not the main point.

His final words hurt. “Have a taste of the same hell” should be the anthem of every tragic villain lashing out. Both versions are good, but I feel the Japanese one really points out how much Isaac suffered because of Hector’s actions: notice especially how “I plotted my revenge for a long time” (emphasizing Isaac’s role as the villain of the story) was replaced with “I was defeated by you three years ago”, originally in passive (emphasizing Isaac being a victim).

I wish they kept his scream at the beginning of the boss fight, though. That’s just raw :(

~

Not much to say about the “Zead is Death” scene, although TIL that in Japanese “black curtain” is a way to say “mastermind”. A bit of a different nuance, Zead doesn’t say “Devil Forgemasters alone are suffused in my master's magic” but “Devil Forgemasters are always [constantly] with my master's magic”. Hector calls Death “close associate” (“側近”). Death doesn’t say that Hector was the favorite but Isaac will do - thank you, I think my man was humilated enough :V

~

Dracula

For some reason, this cutscene feels like a bit of a downgrade in Japanese. For example, Dracula doesn’t greet Hector calling him “the traitor”, shame.

ENG: Why did you unleash your hatred upon the humans? When you began slaughtering them indiscriminately, I had no choice but to disobey you.

JP: Three years ago, when you showed your hatred for humans... I just couldn't allow it.

The Japanese version is vaguer, both in describing Dracula’s genocide and Hector’s reaction.

ENG: You side against me... for the sake of humans? Humans are not worth the air they breathe. I was simply cleansing the world.

JP: Is that so. But you must have realized... Human beings don't even deserve to exist. That's the truth of the world.

“Humans aren’t worth the air they breathe” deserved to be translated faithfully :(

ENG: The powerful always judge the weak. The humans made their judgment of me, as well. Thus I sentenced them... to extinction. Sympathy is merely a form of weakness. You betrayed me, Hector... And for that, the punishment is death.

JP: The powerful have the right [to judge humans]. The humans who destroyed me with their power... Yes, as if they were brandishing justice. But now I grow tired of this nonsense. Traitor... I'll make you pay the price of what you did three years ago.

See what I mean? It doesn’t feel the same. “Sympathy is merely a form of weakness” could have been kept.

(Dracula uses watashi for himself but speaks plainly. Hector doesn’t speak with respect to Dracula, but he still calls him anata.)

~

Dracula’s death

To compensate for how flaccid the previous cutscene was, Hector tells Dracula “rest in peace and perish” (“安心して、滅びるがいい”), and I think that is the rawest thing he has ever said in the Japanese version.

ENG: The struggle has ended. I feel I can let go now, and die in peace.

JP: It's all over. Am I going to die like this? That wouldn’t be bad...

For some reason the Japanese version feels sadder, like Hector just accepted in that moment that it would be better to die :(

(“That wouldn’t be bad” gets echoed at the very end, when Hector accepts to live with Julia, and that is enough to mend my heart lmao)

ENG: You see through it all, don't you?

JP: I'm no match for you, am I?

Okay this is cute lol

~

And that’s it! The last two cutscenes are very straightforward.

This was very fun to translate :D overall, I prefer the Japanese script in its changes, although the English script is iconic in its hamminess lmao. If the Japanese version is the translation as I think, they did an excellent job, and I appreciate how they adapted Hector and especially Isaac.

[writingstoraes]

say cheese 📸

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!photographer!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: lucky me this made it out of my drafts 🎉 lmk what you guys think! also if anyone wants to be part of my permanent taglist, pls lmk hehe

about: fans absolutely adore the way you are able to capture charles in photos (plus what's a little harm with an accidental post that made its way to your account)

scuderiaferrari

liked by charloslover, finemidnight, arthurleclerc, and 782,221 others

scuderiaferrari Outtakes from Montreal 🍁

lightningleclerc I FEEL BLESSED

forzaforeva Congratulations, Charles! Amazed by the amount of work you put in every race weekend. Hoping for good results next GP 💪

livelovecarlos whoever took the last photo needs a raise actually

lecssaint i think y/n took this photo! but true lol she photographs charles so well its crazy

scuderiaferrari

liked by mercdefender, lewham, c2buddy, and 561,223 others

scuderiaferrari Mode: push 🏎️

vettelegend Such a good picture! Good luck, Charles! ❤️

lestappenfilmz ferrari's photographer in love with charles' eyes just as much as i am

f1thusiast y/n please speak into the mic

ssainzluvr carlos version where?????

scuderiaferrari Just posted! We'd never leave a driver behind 🤗 lecssssainz who the fuck are you tryin to fool

scuderiaferrari

liked by ferrariswift, pumasports, monacoprince, and 893,331 others

scuderiaferrari Charles clad in his special colors ❤️🤍

alonstroll The photographer working overtime so the Ferrari admins can distract us once again from the terrible strategy lol

popstarz LOOOVE THIS GIVE Y/N A RAISE IMMEDIATELY

finelineleclerc real when charles doesnt post i head over to her account just to get crumbs pls

ynfilms

liked by charles_leclerc, joris__trouche, lovers1989, and 56,445 others

ynfilms back in monaco 🌊

charles_leclerc Props for taking the second picture, not thrilled on diving a fourth time if ever you didn't 😁

landonando THE FIRST PICTURE??? I CANT BREATHE???

eudeleclerc he's definitely carved by god himself like

charmleclerc thank you for your service, queen 🙏

moneqazques came back here after all the y/n hype on twitter, what a legend

ynfilms

liked by monegasquez, swiftfeld, loveleclerc, and 67,221 others

ynfilms hard at work; improving day by day.

charles_leclerc Ah so that's why there was a click sound behind me yesterday

ynfilms just doing my job, charlie 🙏

forzaforeva the il predestinato is il predestinato-ing

schumangels Love this ❤️

ynfilms

liked by charles_leclerc, pascale_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, and 45,667 others

ynfilms out and about in barcelona 🏔️

lecs1655 queen providing our delusional asses we thank you, really

sainzchamp Charles and his pista god what a combo

ynfilms

liked by sainzhero, hamilchamp, leclove, and 23,445 others

ynfilms love you to the moon and saturn :)

landonando MAM???? WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO POST THIS

oconsgirl HELLO???SJSNJJ

grandprizcx im fucking crying so much for soft launches?????

ricciardos My best guess is this wasn't supposed to be posted in this account....

lecshamilt0n posting a picture of charles so boyfriend-y and so intimate to a taylor swift lyric is just so sick!!!

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen, pierregasly, and 1,230,778 others

charles_leclerc I always thought I was just a fan of cameras, turns out, I loved smiling in photos when you're the one behind the lenses. I do not know the first thing about photography, but I do know every picture of you I have deserves to be treasured.

The day you took your first picture of me was the same day you captured my heart. It's been yours ever since.

tagged: yourusername and ynfilms

carlossainz55 Does this mean Y/N will stop being my photographer at Ferrari

charles_leclerc Yeah cause she's my girlfriend yourusername no carlos, don't listen to him

charlosfan god no wonder she captures charles so well??? cause they have each other's hearts???

gaslysgirl Did not think going on Instagram will only remind me how loveless my life really is but ok

sainznorris FINALLY MY PARENTS

yourusername you know what i'm kinda glad i forgot to switch accounts and posted that on my work photography ig (hehe love you, baby)

charles_leclerc More glad than you cause I finally get to show you off pierregasly You put the cheesy in say cheese mate

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, franciscagomes, pierregasly, and 567,212 others

yourusername i was about to quit photography as a whole when i got accepted as a photographer for ferrari. who knew accepting this job when i was on the brink of losing what i was passionate about would only be the reason why i wake up every day doing what i love and living my best life.

bonus: i met the love of my life while doing it 🤍 it was later that i realized i don't just love taking pictures in general, i adored who i was taking photos of.

took a while before we shared with the world what we meant to each other, but the answer to why i capture charles so well — i take photos from my heart, which incidentally, belongs to him.

reputationcl who's cutting onions whhy are there tears in my eyes

sainzoperator THIS SOME SWEET ASS SHIT I CANT TAKE IT

lovingscuderia sleeping on a highway doesnt sound like a bad idea

danielricciardo EVERYONE RUN! The ants are here...

-----------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12

notes: this took like 2 hours lolol lmk what u guys think <3 hopefully i can finish all my wip's and get to the requests hehe thank you for reading :D

[byuljoonie]

moonlight // knj

I’m sorry baby I’m just really hot…

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: one shot, slight angst, fluff, growing tension, boyfriend material, extreme smut, desperation, succubus intentions…

word count: 5k+ (sorry)

warnings: mentions of mature topics, spit, namjoon driving lmao, thigh humping bcs desperate, throat goat, dom!sub, dom rm!sub reader, alcohol consumption, probably a good amount of swearing, post-gym namjoon, grocery store activities, slight car play, teasing, oral, summer night, riding, overstimulation, a little masochism

summary: namjoon promised to go to the grocery store with you after the gym (extended ending on ao3)

note: just had what cody ko and noel would call a “power thought.” I literally just had a spark of inspiration bcs it’s really hot in the south right now and Namjoon’s vogue cover is to die for. enjoy and feel free to check out any of my playlists while reading. Sorry for any little mistakes. gonna make a tag list after I post 10 works! -ash (wrote this draft a few months ago so it might be slightly more extreme than expected.)

My reflection stared back at me, tracing the movement of the cloth against my skin. The long slit of the black fabric starts by the left knee and leaves an opening at the bottom of the dress. My manicured feet sat firmly against the hardwood bedroom floor, grounding me away from my persistent thoughts. I grabbed my sunglasses from the stand mounted on the cream walls and turned swiftly on my heels. Abandoning the mirror with a grimace on my face.

I loved this dress very much, the long sleeves light and airy protecting me from the harsh summer rays. The way it hugs my figure is like someone familiar. The same someone that bought this dress for me. He crossed my mind once more sending another surge of anger through me.

Namjoon promised to come along to the grocery store with me today but he’s been at the gym for almost 2 hours now. He said he’d only be gone an hour but an hour quickly turned to two, now I’m dressed and past ready to go. I hated going to crowded stores, at this rate we’ll never beat the after-work rush.

I sat on the bed putting on my anklet he gifted me for our 3 year anniversary. Yet another gift that I’m wearing today, being spoiled ruining my plans of holding a grudge tonight on our date. I slipped on some black socks and made my way towards the door. Listening as the front door swings open with a beep of the automatic keypad.

I excitedly descend the stairs, my black dress sweeping the floor behind me beautifully like a wedding gown flowing in the summer breeze. The second step I’ve already failed at trying to be mad at him.

“Baby! Where you at?” He says deep voice roaring through our apartment. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs almost running into his chest. He smiled at me taking in all of my body, returning to my eyes after his brief but thorough inspection.

“Right here NAMjoon,” I stated putting extra emphasis on his surname. I watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath, his skin glistened with sweat. Tan skin accentuating his muscular frame, my mouth parted slightly at the sight. He looked heavenly I almost lost my composure.

“I’m sorry I took so long Y/N my trainer wouldn’t let me leave until the workout was complete,” he said walking towards me. Smirking at the way my eyes followed his every movement.

“You look so gorgeous Princess, this dress is perfect for you,” he said pulling me into a tight embrace. Grabbing a handful of my ass as he reached over to rest his chin on my shoulder. I yelp in surprise at the sudden groping, melting into his body and giving up on being angry. I wanted to take him right now but first, we need food or we’ll be eating out for another week before we have time to shop again.

“Whatever Joon go shower we have to leave as soon as possible and you’re stinky,” I said pulling away from him and then standing on my tippy toes to kiss him quickly. He kissed me back beginning to deepen it before I push him away again. I give him a knowing look and bid him goodbye as I walk to the kitchen to make him a snack to eat in the car. The store was about a 25 minute drive from us but it was worth it for the produce.

I grab a few ingredients from the fridge to make him a nice sandwich with an everything bagel. I prepared everything quickly and put it in a small ziplock bag next to my purse. I heard Namjoon exiting our bedroom 15 minutes later, humming a sweet tune in his beautiful vibrato.

“Come on babe I already have the car warming up,” he said grabbing my hand and lightly pulling me next to him. He’s wearing a light brown shirt with a pair of distressed blue jeans. Looking as handsome as always I drink in his appearance for eternity. We walked to the elevator quietly, Namjoon tapping away on his phone until the elevator doors opened to be let us out.

As we walk towards our car I begin to sweat a little, the setting Sun still scorching my skin like its’ noonday twin. I started to speed up a little pulling Namjoon along so I could feel the relief of the A/C sooner than later. He swung the door open for me making sure my dress wasn’t in the way before shutting the door.

Namjoon jumps in quickly closing the door before the heat could penetrate the closed air. It still wasn’t cool enough in here, with the sun beaming directly on our vehicle the A/C felt like lukewarm hell. I let down the window hastily fanning myself as we pulled out of the parking lot.

After I few minutes of fanning and desperation, I looked over and behold a sight that would make any woman yearn in an instant. A head of sweat moved swiftly down the expanse of Namjoons golden jaw. Resting at the base before dropping down onto his slightly exposed shoulder. His lips rose colored from his unconscious biting. I wanted to reach over and swallow him whole, I crave him so bad I can’t help but squeeze my legs together at the thought.

I was so caught up in my sinful thoughts I didn’t notice him glance over at me. A twinkle in his eye set off the indication of a torturous idea. Namjoon placed his large hand on my thigh, causing me to tense up instantly. Before I could utter a word he reached over my leg and grabbed his sandwich from my lap.

His smile turning into a stifled laugh as he continued to stare straight ahead. I must have let out the small noise I was holding in because he seemed to know exactly what would tick me off right now. I turned my attention towards the windshield trying to focus on the passing cars and people watching. Then an idea popped into my head.

I pull out my phone and open the group chat I have with our 6 best friends. I stop and think of what to type before another brilliant idea is brought to me. I pose provocatively making sure my cleavage was “present,” in my photo. I took a couple of pictures, some with sunglasses and some staring at Namjoon. He patiently drove, oblivious to my sly intentions. He hummed along to one of his favorite songs looking over at me to shoot me a wink.

I giggled and looked away almost feeling bad for what I’m going to do. Yet not bad enough because I went ahead and sent the photos with a message. “Should I post these on my close friends? I don’t know if I look good enough today…” I said ending with a sad face. It didn’t take long for our phones to simultaneously vibrate. Secretly glancing over at Namjoon, I unlock my phone knowing he can’t check his until we’re in the lot.

Hobi ddaeng: You look great !! Of course, you should post it, Namjoon talk some sense into her.

Me: He’s driving right now. I didn’t ask for his opinion yet I want to hear you guys first :)

Park Chanel: ooooh…I see…

Park Chanel: If you don’t post the pictures I will! Wow wow you look beautiful. Nice..dress and necklace.

I looked down at my neck realizing I didn’t wear a necklace today. Oh Jimin you’re evil Namjoon is going to kill me and you. I laughed a little at his crude behavior and read the next incoming message.

Yoongi: You’re gonna get hit Jimin *laughing emojis*

Me: mmm just because you guys said so I will post it hehe

Before I could read the next response I felt the car shake as we pulled into the grocery store parking lot. I quickly went on my sns and posted two of the pictures on my close friends. Picking the two the boys liked the most. I was starting to get nervous, I know how possessive he is with me and I’m the same but I want revenge for making me frustrated.

Namjoon pulls into an open parking spot almost near the front of the bustling building. I take off my seatbelt with a click grabbing my purse from my lap and swinging the door open. I wanted to beat Namjoon inside before he could read the texts and catch me. As I hurriedly closed the door I saw him reading the messages, jaw tensing with rage.

I hear him call my name from the car and a slam of a car door followed behind the sound of his sexy voice. His long legs easily closing the space between us as he grabbed my hand, squeezing it while looking at me. I put my shades on ignoring his questions. Stroking the back of his hand as I never break eye contact with the automatic sliding doors.

“Can you get us a cart pet?” I froze at the nickname. He knows what he’s doing, and I don’t plan on breaking that fast. I let go of his hand briefly going to grab the first cart I saw. Cleaning the handle before strutting back over to my boyfriend as he eyed me intensely.

I let him grab the cart from me but not before pulling him down to whisper in his ear. “Anything for you Daddy..” I say in a hushed tone. Making sure to leave a kiss on his sensitive earlobe as I pull away.

I walk forward trying not to laugh at the silly nickname I used to get him riled up. He trailed behind me, failing to hide his blatant staring at my ass. We make our way down the aisles trying to speed up the process as people begin piling into the store.

“Joonie baby I can’t reach this,” I said struggling to reach the box of goldfish on the top shelf. He moved over to me in a flash, pressing his front flush against my back. I heard his breathing stop as I purposely pushed my ass against him.

“This one, this one, this one, or this one…” He trailed off purposely picking the wrong boxes to tease me. He finally grabbed the correct item and tossed it in the cart. Walking away as if he didn’t leave me speechless and flustered on the cracker aisle.

I follow him to the snack aisle after grabbing a few bottles of wine and champagne for our date tonight. The empty aisle presents another opportunity for me to assert my dominance. I walk over to the chips looking at them inquisitively as if I’m mocking a character.

“Honey do you want this kind or this kind?” I said while bending over. Making sure to sway slowly as I wait for an answer. “Babe? Which-“ I was cut short as a hand firmly grabbed my ass causing me to yelp in surprise and sit up straight.

“I want this one right here,” he growled in my ear. I turned around and looked at him, watching his eyes darken with hunger. “Let’s get outta here yeah?” He questioned looking into my eyes. I nodded furiously ready to exit this hell and get home to what’s waiting.

We race to the self-checkout line, scanning and bagging groceries like a 5000-dollar prize is awaiting the winner. Namjoon grabbed my hand after he paid and pulled me along with him as he pushed the basket with his other hand. He was so warm, skin clear and kissable. I wanted to pull him aside and cover him in kisses, not caring about the people around us.

Namjoon unlocks the car as we stop beside it. I move to walk around the cart but he stops me in my tracks. “Let me help you get the groceries in the car love,” I say looking confused at his sudden maneuver.

Unexpectedly, he opened the car door and motioned for me to get inside. I insisted again that I help but he gave me a look that I know better than to disobey. I got inside praying I didn’t anger him too much. I set myself up for this one, didn’t I? It’ll be worth it in the end right? Maybe I went a little too far with the texts but I can’t help but shiver with anticipation. I pull out my phone to text Jimin about my bad decisions.

Me: I think I fucked up lol

Park Chanel: you’re welcome ;)

Namjoon slams the trunk shut causing me to jump in surprise. I close my phone sitting it in the cup holder beside me. He gets in the car, jaw still tense as he turns the key in the ignition. I thought about breaking the silence but the tension was so thick a knife would recoil at the slight pressure of penetration. Namjoon puts on his seatbelt then proceeds to look at me.

“ I don’t want to hear another peep from you Y/N..” he starts lowly not breaking eye contact for a second. “You’ve done enough for tonight, if you do anything stupid I swear I will pull the car over and take you on the side of the road. I promise you wouldn’t want that.” He deadpans and looks away from me, pulling out of the parking spot. I utter a soft okay and prepare to behave the rest of the way home.

I slide my palm over to his free hand resting on his thigh. I stare firmly at him, giving my best puppy eyes in return. He doesn’t look away from the road but I watch as his lip twitches into a small smile. He grabs my hand, rubbing his large thumb over the back of my hand. In love can’t begin to describe how I truly feel about this man.

I laugh as he tries to sing along to Smoke Sprite, raspy voice blending well with Soyoon. I rap along to his part of the song, stealing the spotlight and making him bop his head in excitement. The song finishes and we’re about 10 minutes from our place. I check my phone and see a text from our group chat, making the recent grocery store escapades flash through my mind. I want him to touch me again, I like it when he’s desperate and needy for me.

Another terrible idea floods my brain accompanied by a mound of outcomes. I suddenly let go of Namjoons hand causing him to spare me a confused expression. A smile graced my face as I turned my body forward, grabbing the slit of my dress and opening it over my legs. I let my left hand run down the front of my dress, stopping at my panties hesitating even.

I slide my hand under the fabric immediately coming in contact with the soft skin. I dip my fingers and get to work. I began letting out dramatized moans and grunts. I moan Namjoon's name and furiously let my hand lose control. I looked over and saw Namjoon gripping the steering wheel in frustration. Sweat adorned his angelic face, veins prominent in his hands. I let this go on until we reached the last stop light near our apartment building. I sat up and closed my legs acting like I didn’t just masturbate next to my boyfriend in a moving car.

We pull into the lot entering our designated spot. Namjoon quietly turned off the engine and released a sigh that he seemed to have been holding in. He looks absolutely pissed and it’s so sexy. His erratic breathing only made me wetter by the second.

“You’re going to follow my instructions carefully. I don’t want to hear a word from you or tonight will be your worst fucking nightmare got it?” He questioned angrily letting his eyes trail over my body once more. I nodded too scared to move an inch more.

“Go upstairs, get undressed, wait in the middle of the bed. If you’re not in that spot when I come up there in 15 minutes, you better pray you can stop time.” He seethes hotly. “Yes sir,” I say scared and ready for more. He gets out of the car walks around and opens my door. He grabs my purse from my lap holding eye contact, his brown almond eyes dark and predatory.

“Go.” He states motioning for me to exit the vehicle. I get out swiftly, grabbing my purse from his hand and sprinting towards the entrance of the building. The elevator took an eternity to bring me to our floor. I ran to the door and shakily put in the passcode, messing up a few times before it finally let me in.

My shoes are off in a flash, I leave my purse by the door as well abandoning my shades on the counter as I run past to the stairs. I burst into our room, slipping my dress off. Almost fell as I grabbed my silk lavender robe hanging on the wall. I threw it on and climbed onto the bed. My anklet glowed in the natural light seeping through the parted curtains. The front door swung open slamming against the wall.

I heard shuffling, cabinets opening and closing for 10 more minutes before his heavy footsteps echoed through our hallway. He walked into the room eyeing me before raising an eyebrow. I started to sweat nervously hoping I did what I was told.

“Who told you to put on your robe Y/N?” He questioned in amusement. He slowly walked over to me, grabbing each side of the robe and ripping it open. He discarded it onto the floor and stalked around the bed, he stood at the front motionless. “On your knees in front of me, now.” He said and I immediately left the bed. I swung my legs over the side and dropped to my knees.

Namjoon watched me through lidded eyes as I crawled over to him on my knees, stopping directly in front of his growing bulge. I was quick to unlatch the hook of his buckle, the metal of the belt clinging as it hit the hardwood floors.

“I’ll excuse the robe mishap since you’re so eager to taste me doll face,” he said reaching down to grab my chin. A loud moan echoed through the room as he grabbed my hair and yanked my head back. He looked down at me, motioning his head back as if telling me to open up. I did as I was told and watched as he spit in my mouth and closed it back. He pulled his pants down and kicked them to the side.

“Good girl, now eat.” He said intensely. He hummed in satisfaction, eyes never leaving the way I wrapped my fingers around his cock and finally engulfed his length into the warmth of my mouth. I took him in slowly inch by inch, his girth heavy against my tongue as I extended my jaw wider and wider. I choked a little as he hit the back of my throat.

“You look so fucking gorgeous with your lips wrapped around me, pet,” his fingers tightened into my hair, his gaze stoic and heavy on me. Pet. The pet name earned a moan from me as I began a steady rhythm of sucking. My fingers were coated in a thick layer of saliva, Namjoon’s cock easily sliding against my pressured grip as my cheeks hollowed, jaw growing sore from my strenuous movements.

He groaned loudly, fucking my throat faster until I could no longer take it. I let my jaw go slack so he could use me as his personal toy. He grabbed my face and fucked it harder until I was seeing stars. A beautiful repetition of my name strung from his tongue, stilling as he came into my mouth. I happily swallowed every drop, coughing around his cock one last time, sending a shiver through his body.

“Good job, get on the bed I want to taste you. I can see you dripping on the floor,” he smirks as he picks me up and helps me onto the bed. He walks around and gets in the middle of the bed, watching me as I sit patiently waiting for instructions.

“Come here baby, sit on my face,” he motioned for me to come to him. I slowly crawled towards him, bracing myself on his lap. He kissed me roughly, tasting himself on my tongue, running his hand down to play with my chest. Nipples sensitive to the touch, he pulls away from me, taking my right breast in his mouth. Sucking and nibbling on me, teasing me. He pulled off with a pop, scooting further down the bed and then lifting me so I could move towards his face.

I place my hands on the headboard hovering over his face in anticipation. He suddenly grabs my thighs and pulls me down onto him. I scream out in pleasure as he dives into my center. Feverishly lapping his tongue at my pussy like it’s the last time he’ll have me. His moans send intense vibrations through my body, making me scream his name. We’ll have a noise complaint tomorrow.

I felt my orgasm coming on, riding his tongue until my legs were sore. He let go of my left thigh to slap my ass hard, signaling me to cum on his tongue. I came with a loud groan of his name. Shaking and twitching as I came down from my high.

Namjoon grabbed my hips, gently guiding me down to his lap. His face was covered in my essence, from nose to chin, he glistened like an Angel. He smiled and rubbed circles on my tummy as he watched me shake.

“Don’t think we’re done darling, I’m not finished until I see my cum dripping down your pretty legs.” He gave me one last smile before his eyes darkened once more. He grabbed my hips and lifted me slightly, sticking his girth fully inside me. I sank slowly, letting him fill me to the brim. Tears streamed down my cheeks loving the painful stretch in my core.

“Ride me until I say stop.” He deadpanned motioning for me to move or else. I started to ride him painfully slow, not being able to take much more. This was my opportunity to finally seize control. I picked up the pace, rhythmic grunts and sounds of skin slapping filled the room. I put my hands on his chest and let my hips do the talking.

I ground down harder, spelling his name with every swift motion of my hips. I felt his cock twitch inside of me, indicating he was close already. Now that I have control I’m going to make him feel everything he did to me. I moved faster, causing the bed to shake and tremble with every shout of his name.

He grabbed my hips trying to make me slow down but I only grind down harder. Clenching and tightening around him to send me him over the edge. I watched as his orgasm roared through him, eyes rolling to the back of his head. I kept moving, milking everything from him. Getting closer to my orgasm, I let myself go with one last yell of his name.

Squeezing my eyes shut as I finally stilled. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room, the bed creaking as I rolled off of him. Shivering as the empty feeling overtakes me when he’s not inside of me. “I hope I didn’t get too carried away,” I started while looking over at my completely wrecked boyfriend.

“That was perfect.” He said smiling over at me. He slowly stood up, going to our bathroom to retrieve a towel. He returned momentarily, cleaning me off and then cleaning himself. Throwing the towel in the hamper against the wall. I was so exhausted I could barely move. I got under our giant duvet, getting comfortable fairly quickly.

Namjoon glanced at me, nestled under the warm blankets, my eyes getting heavy with exhaustion. He promised me a special date night and he was determined to make it happen, even if he just put me to sleep. With a gentle smile, his aftercare continued.

“Hey, babe,” he whispered softly, brushing a strand of loose hair from my face. “I know you’re tired but I don’t want our date night to go to waste.”

I yawned in response and mumbled sleepily, “Joonie I’m so comfy right here.” Earning a chuckle from him, my reluctance seeped through the atmosphere. “I know, but trust me, you won’t regret it. I’ve got something in the living room set up for us.”

That caused me to sit up, curiosity overcoming my fatigue. “Oh? What is it?” I said carefully. “It’s a surprise, but I promise it’ll be worth it.” He said leaning in to plant a kiss on my forehead.

With his gentle encouragement, I reluctantly pushed the covers aside and allowed Namjoon to help me out of bed. He passed me the discarded robe and my slippers, and together we made our way to the living room.

Where soft candlelight flickered with a movie on the screen waiting to be played. As I settled onto the couch I couldn’t help but smile at the effort Namjoon had put into creating this romantic haven. A charcuterie board with our favorite snacks and 2 bottles of the wine we purchased earlier were on the coffee table.

Namjoon plopped down beside me, taking my hand in his. “See princess? Our date night in the living room isn’t so bad, is it?” He said grinning like he won the lottery. My fatigue began to dissipate as I basked in the warmth of Namjoon's love and effort. “Not bad at all,” I said, feeling grateful for his consistency and thoughtfulness.

“Let’s start the movie I’m so excited!” I exclaimed pumping my fist in the air embarrassingly hard. Namjoon laughed and mimicked me, making me laugh even harder than before. The first half of the movie went by as we stuffed our faces with food and downed wine like it was our last supper. I was starting to feel tipsy and before I knew it my thoughts started wandering again.

“Mmm, these snacks are-“ Namjoon started as he reached for the charcuterie board. I interrupted his thought by grabbing his hand. Namjoon looked at me puzzled, “huh?” He says in surprise. I move closer and settle onto his lap. “I want to be closer to you,” I said, hands resting on his toned chest.

Namjoon blinked at me, a tipsy smile forming on his lips, “Well I can’t argue with that pet.” I look into his eyes exploring the galaxies I can reach within them. “You know, I love nights like these, just you and me, a movie, some wine…” I rambled to him.

“Yeah, me too. It’s moments like this when I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life baby.” He said while lost in my eyes. Searching for something, something that he knows I have. I leaned in slowly, our lips almost touching, “I love you Namjoon.” I kissed him before he could respond. Feeling his emotions spill into our kiss. He pulled us apart gently, rubbing his hand on my cheek. “I love you too Y/N.”

He grabbed my face and captured my lips again. A thief that could do no wrong in my eyes, I deepened the kiss craving more of him. Needing to feel something more. I slowly began moving my hips on his thigh, grinding down onto the exposed skin, earning a guttural groan from his throat.

His hands moved down the side of my body, exploring every curve, touching every mark he left on me this evening. He landed on my hips, guiding me to my last orgasm with his strong hands. The air was hot once more, soft moans and sweet nothings penetrated the quiet.

The movie is long forgotten, the candlelight coating the walls in a beautiful golden glow. I felt my orgasm building quickly, still sensitive from the earlier assault on my clit. Namjoon began bouncing his leg, adding more pressure on my center, and sending me over the edge.

I kiss him one last time before I fall fast asleep on him.

The end.

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

ok, first post where blake is blake!! also, excuse the absolute dumpster fire that is my life, and is the reason that this post is one post and not like 47

last season! (2022-23) part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve

(2023-24)! part one /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, adamfantilli and 6,947 others

blakefriarr_: so many things have happened since i last popped up on all your timelines and made them immeasurably better!

this is episode one of season two of i-am-both-the sister-of-the-devils-home-emergency-backup-goaltender-and-also-happen-to-be dating-dawson-mercer-forward-for-the-devils series!

these pictures are in no particular order, because, i am moving into a new place with afore mentioned dawson mercer and have spent the last several weeks making it look like it's not the most depressing back alley murderous apartment any of you have ever laid your eyes on

and apparently, i have a ball ton of stuff!

regardless, here's what i've caught up on;

the entire nhl draft! though i have not acquired any new adoptees, it did come to my attention that the anaheim ducks as an organization did personally victimize me during the 2023 entry draft (they also took a BALLSY amount of time to re-sign bitch one and bitch two. what the literal fuck, dudes). also- if you are seeing this and you need help to flee, blink twice (not you adam) (you know who you are)

2, the entire preseason was also missed while i was one, curing myself from jetlag and the absolute dread of going back to uni and two, moving my egregious amount of shit with a spiteful level of independence. the devils won every preseason game! dawson scored that clusterfuck of a goal on slide two and we also got to see goalie bonks again! (i told you those pics weren't in order and i meant it)

three, (or four, i forgot what came first) quinneth played his first regular season game as captain of the canucks ad they kicked ass against the edmonton dudes. goncrats captain ;p

four (probably) rookie had both his first reg season nhl game AND his birth on the same day! he cried on camera for thousands of viewers and made me question kidnapping his brother and locking him in an abandoned building in ohio (who am i kidding i don't want to be in ohio). the blue jackets have since been doing blue jacket things (losing)

five (it's all blended together these days) the devs started their regular season and now i get to go to the arena and watch in peace as nico makes dumb faces, jack gets into petty scrums and goes to the box (apparently? that ones new.) and dawson does dawson things (be hot)

sixth and finally, assistant coach and captain quinn (he should probably drop a title for his mental health, me thinks) turned 24! i giggled profusely at an edit of him as tracksuit rob. good job on aging, kid 🎉

that's all, i think. (probably not, what do i know)

view 712 comments..

jj.friar31: remember when we were roomies??? siblings defying the odds?? i've been left out to dry. i'm MARINATING in my loneliness. you've basically shot me and left me out for dead, blakey.

→ blakefriarr_: this is a touch dramatic, that's MY thing

→ jj.friar31: if i agree to never steal your dramatics again will you come back

→ blakefriarr_: have u seen how pretty my boyfriend is?? no dude

→ jj.friar31: blake pls

adamfantilli: of every picture you could've used you just decided to screenshot me crying

→ blakefriarr_: hi im blake have we met??

→ adamfantilli: also, do not kidnap luca.

→ blakefriarr_: oh so you just don't want my love?? is that what this is??

→ luca.fantilli: do not kidnap me

→ blakefriarr_: BOOORRRINNNGGGGG

nicohischier: every day i wonder what it would be like if we didn't let the ebug's come into the room

→ blakefriarr_: do you want dawson to be lonely and bitchless

→ nicohischer: yeah kinda??

→ blakefriarr_: oh

jackhughes: why.

→ blakefriarr_ ehehehe your bucket doing weird things

_quinnhughes: ??????? why am i tracksuit rob????

→ blakefriarr_: who else would be tracksuit rob

→ _quinnhughes: nobody needs to be tracksuit rob, friar.

→ _blakefriarr_: WRONG! you do :)

_connorbedard: am i who i are???

→ blakefriarr_: no apparently you are timbaland

→ _connorbedard: oh. okay?

→ adamfantilli: @/_connorbedard you get used to it

→ _connorbedard: do i want to??

→ adamfantilli: eh. 50/50

dawson1417: oh how i've missed the chaos

→ blakefriarr_: fbejdbsjshdghshsb

→ dawson1417: sometimes it's almost like you say words

→ blakefriarr_: :p i love you

→ dawson1417: i love you too, my girl <3

tannercharlotte: this is my reality tv

→ blakefriarr_: i'll leave him for u say the word

→ dawson1417: HEY??

→ blakefriarr_: shhhh baby go sleep

→ tannercharlotte: don't leave him b he doesn't have to know

ryangraves27: she back

→ blakefriarr_: i back!!

nhlblackhawks: ??

→ njdevils: don't '??' her she's right

→ blakefriarr_: thank you (trade for charlie)

→ nyrangers: i can excuse hawks slander but i draw the line at trying to take our char

→ nhlblackhawks: you can excuse hawks slander?

→ jj.friar31: why do teams keep doing this you have ENOUGH leverage over me

trevorzegras: am i bitch one or bitch two

→ trevorzegras: actually yk what don't answer that i don't wanna know

→ blakefriarr_: too bad you're actually both jamie is an angel

view more comments..

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

Infatuation P13

Joe Goldberg x Reader x Love Quinn

Masterlist

Warnings: post murder, drugging.

Notes: Wait... it cannot be... the final part of Infatuation? Posted? Pinch me, I must be dreaming! This has actually been sitting in my drafts for years. Not kidding. Ever since I finished Part 12, this has been collecting dust. Please enjoy, as I prepare some other goodies...

~

To put it simply, I’m frozen.

My instincts have me searching the room rapidly, but an emotional pull draws me to Love’s wide-eyed stare. She’s crouched by someone who’s laying limply on the floor. Well, I know they’re not just laying there. With that amount of blood, they’re surely… dead…?

I— I shake my head. No, no. Focus, observe.

The reasonable part of my brain tells me Love had something to do with it, but I can’t help but hold off on the assumption. Love couldn’t. She—

She stands and I feel myself stiffen. As she makes her way toward me, Im drawn to the blood staining her sleeve. I visibly gulp.

“I-It was self defence.” She says, nodding her head as though she were trying to convince herself as much as she were trying to convince me. She‘s making herself small, caving in with partially hunched shoulders and hands that don’t quite fit comfortably by her sides.

My god, she really did it. I could’ve believed the lie if I hadn’t seen the evidence caked on her… or looked at whatever remained of the neck, but I crouch and reach for the corpse’s face anyway.

When I drag her sticky hair out of the way, I feel an odd sense of satisfaction and relief. Now, I don’t have to worry about Candace… but this isn’t really any better. Love— she’s… she just took a life, and with a witness too.

I glance to you and Love drops the locker door behind us. I flinch.

“Does anyone else know you’re here?” I ask Love, feigning a calm demeanour. On the inside, I want to tear her apart— but I need a clear idea of what’s happening. You’re… here too. I can’t risk doing something drastic while you’re still in the room and looking this way.

“No.” She replies dryly before stepping back. “A-actually, yeah. Her phone—“.

“Do you have it?” I ask. When I glance back and up toward Love, she slips it out of her pocket and holds the device loosely toward me.

I take the device and examine Love’s face at the same moment. She seems erratic, so I tell myself that keeping myself together could benefit her as well, I need to be our anchor… lest I wake what’s underneath.

I place the phone in-front of Candace’s face and it unlocks.

“Check the call history.” Love rushes to suggest.

I look at her and squint. “…Why?”

“Someone called her.” Love says, and I’m already rubbing my forehead out of anxious habit. Oh, for fucks sake.

“Who?” I ask, shaken.

Love blinks, her expression shifting angrily. “I don’t know, Will—! I picked it up and I didn’t recognize any of it!”

“W-What did they say?” I stand up, looking at Love for answers. I’m getting frustrated.

She hesitates for a moment, but I can see she’s trying to wrap her head around it. “They said ‘get out of there’.”

I start scrolling through the call history with a shiver. All along the way, I see Forty’s name, and at the very top— the very last call received- I recognize the unnamed number.

I take out your phone, and open it swiftly. Love watches me and leans in curiously. And wouldn’t you know it, that same mysterious number litters your history too.

“This number called? It’s all over Y/N’s phone.”

“Wh-what the fuck does that mean?” Love asks me, stuttering and furrowing her brows like it’ll get her an answer. But then she looks to you.

“What the fuck does it mean? Who is that?-“

“Calm down.” I immediately regret my statement when Love’s face whips to look at me. She grimaces but hesitates to open her mouth. For the first time tonight, I see Love catch herself from what I can only assume is dawning realization that she looks and sounds absolutely ballistic.

“Why is she locked in that cage?” Love whines out about you, and I don’t know how to feel. She’s making me the villain, pointing fingers, but may I remind everyone in the room of who’s covered in fucking blood? You’re trapped in this glass container because I got carried away and made a selfish decision... but she did something worse, wouldn’t you agree? But stating this isn’t going to help anyone, especially our hysterical guest over here.

“I did this for you.” I reply instead, my voice just above a whisper. Love’s face softens into one I’ve seen countless times before. Yet… something in me has changed. I don’t feel warm when I see it anymore.

“We’ll get out of this.” She mutters, wiping at her eyes as though something were actually there. “We just— we just have to clean up a bit, yeah?”

And in an almost comical fashion, we both turn our heads to the cage— but more specifically… toward you.

You sit still in your corner. Your eyes are open and blown wide.

“We need to clean up...” Love mumbles again, this time drifting off as she observes you fondly. I can’t help but stare at her with an astonished look in my eye. She’s insane and it’ll be my unfortunate responsibility to do something about it.

“There’s some flunitrazepam in the desk.” I regrettably say, and a part of me feels terrible over the mere implications that flash through Love’s mind.

“I don’t even want to know why you have that.” She nearly spits, changing her demeanour once again. I have to clench my fists by my sides not to absolutely lose it in such a sensitive and integral moment. Love carefully makes her way to the desk and shuffles through the drawers.

In a minute, Love’s standing in front of the cage’s door, uncapping the water cup I got for you.

“Y/N. Look at me.” Love says. “You see this?” She holds a small grey pellet in between her index and thumb. “Im going to put it in this,” She wiggled the cup lightly, “and you’re going to drink it.”

You shake your head horribly, trying to shrink further into the corner.

“This is the easy way, Y/N. The hard way is going to hurt a lot more.” Love looks to you sympathetically. “Don’t take the hard way, babe.”

Babe… I gulp.

You don’t let up. You’re standing your ground and being stubborn, and I can see Love’s not having it. But you’re — you’re traumatized. I know you are because, hell, even I’m shocked at the scene I’ve stumbled into. We’re discovering something about Love we hadn’t known before… and it’s not easy. It’s never easy. Love takes in a deep shaky breath before facing me.

“Force her.” A shiver runs up my spine, and I hesitate. It’s not like she and I have gone through this before, had a plan, or even discussed the implications of her… hard way… but I think I know what she wants.

As I pull the key out from my pocket and unlock the door, I watch you cower. You’re just scared, but there’s really nothing to be scared of anymore… well, actually… I glance at Love.

“We can’t waste time, come on.” She says.

I step through and observe you for a moment. You try to stand up and I see it in your subtle move to get away that you'd expected to dodge me, but I’m quicker than you thought and you don’t have much room to wander. I hold my arm out and you run into it, allowing me to spin you around and firmly hold your arms to your sides and your back to my chest. My free hand simply grabs your jaw and squeezes.

Love steps into the cage as well, holding the cup in her hand and a face of… disappointment? Or maybe it’s shame, from the way I’m holding you still against your will.

“Y/N, I… I gave you options, okay? You chose this for yourself and we have to go through with it so we can move past it.” Her words are meant to reassure you that things could’ve been better, but I can’t help but feel as though she’s unlawfully justifying drugging you to herself.

As she gets closer, your squirming and panic gets worse. It’s not much to fight off, you never have been difficult to hold down.

Love’s hand takes my place and grips your jaw. You whimper, of course, and it’s such a gentle sound. You must be tired. She holds the cup to your parted lips and begins to tilt it into your open mouth. You sputter for a moment, and then your eyes shut tight.

“She’s not swallowing it.” Love grits and discards the empty cup. She loosens the grip on your jaw and, with her free hand, pushes your chin up to shut your mouth. Come on, Y/N… it shouldn’t be this difficult.

Love gently caresses your cheek and allows her hand to slide downward. I watch over your shoulder as her fingers run across your neck and, with a precise flick to your throat, you whine.

“You have to swallow.” Love states sternly as she tilts your head back some more. “Then it’ll be over.” You whimper again and I bite my cheek.

After another minute of your resistance, you start to move and it finally goes.. all the way… down.

It’s not long before you slump in my hold and I sit you up against a wall to think. What happens now?

I glance to a container of plastic bags. I wrap the body up, bring it out of town. A quick look to the phone in my pocket reminds me. I cover her tracks. But wait… teeth, finger prints, hair. Did Love take Candace’s car? And the messages… We can be compromised before we’ve even left the building.

When I look to Love, she’s nervously pacing back and forth. When she stops in front of me, I realize she’s been talking. “Are you even listening—?!” she panics. “Oh my god, we're so fucked!” Love grabs at her hair and looks around.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing, and I begin to wonder what our relationship will be like now. This isn’t going to work. My heart starts to race and I begin to heat up. She’s not meant for this. Will she let you go? I think we have to let her go.

I don’t hesitate to grab Love by the collar of her shirt and shove her against the glass cage.

"NO — W-WAIT," she tries to scream. My hands find her throat but before I can squeeze, she shouts.

“I’M PREGNANT!” and I still as my blood runs cold. My eyes run down her body then, quickly.

“You’re…” I hesitate to repeat after her, my terrifying future flashing before my eyes as my hands pull her closer by her shirt. I breathe out as my eyes meet hers again. I witness the… worry? Fear? Somewhere in her swirling sight, I feel exposed to sincerity. She’s telling the truth.

My arms fall limp to my sides, my attention growing dull. As my head swirls with thoughts, she slips out of reach. My eyes follow her movements until they settle on you, slouched, unconscious.

“I know how to fix this,” Love sniffs, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “Just — please… take care of the body.”

[tsukkismoonlight]

When It Comes To You || J.K × Reader

Summary: You've somehow gotten stuck with the most obnoxious (Minus boy genius Armin Arlert) group ever for a college class project. Eren Jeager, and Jean Kirstein. The latter of which seems to find a way to weasel his way into your life, making your plans for a quiet college experience fall away.

Author's Note: okay, like a year and some odd change in months later i'm finally posting this fic!! Honestly life kinda got in the way but we all know how it is. Anywayyyys, I hope yall enjoy! This is my first longer fic, so let me know what you guys think! Also super big shoutout to my buddies on discord for beta reading the first portion of this! <3 wk: 16.7k

Warnings: unedited, probably ooc characteristics who knows

"Would you two knock it off?" were your first words since the two bone-headed, annoying, loud-mouthed boys had started arguing. 

Here you were, in an empty classroom, supposed to be working on a group project for at least an hour or two, and the /only/ thing that your group had done was bicker back and forth. 

The first of the two boneheads, Eren Jeager, had spent the whole time insisting on his ideas, and his ideas alone, while the other, Jean Kirstein, had only been arguing that the former's ideas were stupid and that 'if anything, Eren should shut his trap and just do the grunt work.'

The blonde, Armin Arlert, was clearly just as done with them, but took a more quiet approach to trying to stop them. Any time he could interject, he tried to reason with the two, but of course neither would listen. 

So, when you stood up, slamming your palms onto the table and shouting at them, all three of them quickly grew quiet. "We only have so much time to work on this project, and I am /not/ going to fail this project because you two idiots can't let go of your egos for more than two seconds!" 

"Well, maybe if this asshole would-" Eren started, mostly keeping his voice at a low grumble, sounding like a scolded child.

Jean, cutting Eren's words short while crossing his arms across his chest, "Oh yeah, /I'm/ the asshole here…"

But with another of your glares sent to both of them, the two stopped once more.

"Maybe we should split up the work?" Armin was already writing out two plans, where you could make out his name and Eren, meaning that you were stuck with Jean. 

Not that you wanted to be with either of them. You'd rather take Armin and just leave the other two to fail. But, as this was a group project, Professor Hange had made it clear that points were to be docked for any group that did not complete the assignment together.  

You plopped back into your seat, sighing heavily. "Okay, we will work in two groups. Looks like Eren, you're going with Armin, and Jean, you're with me." You paused as Armin slid over the paper he had drafted up. 

Glancing over it, you could see that he had given you and Jean a good amount of work, yet he had still given himself more. Part of you wanted to point it out, maybe even offer to take some of the load, but the other part of you knew that Armin would refuse and somehow make it sound like the nicest thing he'd ever do.

"Okay, so, from there, once all the research is done, Armin and I will meet up in person to work on the presentation bits, which means that Eren and Jean, you will only need to put your findings in a document for us. That should be easy enough." 

When no one objected, you started to pack up your things.You waited for Jean to take a picture of the draft before tucking it away in a folder carefully. 

Around you, the others started to do the same. With a small breath of relief, you finished packing up and slung your bag over your shoulders, looking to each of your groupmates slowly. "If anyone has questions,” you announced, “please text me. I gave Armin my number already, but if you need mine, ask now."

Eren slid his phone across the table to you, a sour look on his face, as he was clearly upset with the whole situation, and the fact that he had been yelled at over it. You ignored his attitude and typed in your number before returning the phone to him.

Next was Jean, who looked at you for a few moments, then handed his phone over to you, where you repeated the process of saving your number for him. 

With that done you set off to your dorm.You didn't live alone, but it was bound to be a wonderful change in pace (and in volume levels). When you arrived, you slipped your shoes off and headed for your room, pausing for a second as you saw one of your roommate and probably your closest friend Sasha Braus. Currently she was sitting on the floor of her room, clutching a bowl of soup…or what was probably a bowl of soup, as it was empty now. 

"Oh, hey! You're back already?" she asked, turning to you with a spoon dangling from her mouth. It caused a slight slur in her words, so it came out more like, "Ohhh, heyyy, yer bick alreaty?"

With a sigh, you walked into her room, dropping your bag by the door before flopping onto her bed (which was incredibly comfortable). "Yeah, I called it quits early because I got paired with Armin, Jean, and Eren, and Armin is fine and all, but your stupid friend and Eren can't go more than five seconds without fighting." 

You could hear a soft clink as Sasha put her spoon down. "Well, it always works for me to hit them." 

"I can't hit my group mates…even if I want to," you grumbled, rolling over onto your side so you could see her.

"I can hit them for you then, just tell me when and where." She flexed her arms, raising her eyebrows up and down at you as she did so. 

This caused a breathy laugh to come from you. You could feel yourself starting to relax. Your two roommates were probably the only reason that you had stayed sane so far. 

Sasha was always good at getting you to smile, at times she wouldn't stop until you showed some sign of positivity. And of course you were more than grateful for it. 

When you had first moved to the dorms, you had kept to yourself, unsure if you really liked her at all. But with time, you warmed up to her easily. 

There had been a handful of nights where she would invite you to stay up and just talk, or watch some movie. And, at times, she would share food with you, which you learned wasn't always her favorite thing to do. 

"Hey, one of these days we need to catch up on Food wars." 

You looked back to her, nodding along, "Oh for sure! Maybe sometime this next week I can stay up with you and we can watch it. Maybe buy some junk food too." 

At the prospect of snacks, she perked up even more. "Can we get-"

"Yes, we can get the baked potato flavored chips." 

"You didn't even let me finish!" Sasha pouted a little, though still unable to hide her excitement at the confirmation of her favorite snack.

You reached down and flicked her forehead lightly, "Well I already knew what you were going to say. It wasn't hard to figure out."

"Hey! I could have asked for something different! Like, salt and vinegar ones!" 

"You don't even like those, and neither do I. We wouldn't ever buy any." 

The two of you talked for another five or so minutes until she had to leave, shouting something about Connie Springer owing her dinner. You took the time to go back into your own room which you actually shared with a third roommate ( neither of you wanted to share a room with Sasha because of her snoring). However, he wasn't home yet, which meant that he'd probably be back late.

You pulled your laptop out of your bag and plugged it in; then you went to grab your notebooks, some pens and pencils, and finally your copy of the book for your project. It was best to get a headstart on the project, as it was worth most of your grade. 

Professor Hange had assigned the class to read and analyze an old book written by a nameless author. The idea and plot was interesting to a point. It was a war between mere humans, and a race of humans that could take control of what they called titans. The main two parties at war were named Marley and Eldia, both of which claimed that the other was in the wrong, and had vowed to take revenge, wanting to eradicate the other's existence. Towards the end, there was something of a compromise, and Marley seemed to come out victorious. All in all, there was a lot more to it, and the details were typically gorey and morally wrong. The ending wasn't ever written, leaving all readers to question what they knew and what they may not have been told. 

This is where your project came in: you were to try and look into the book, outside sources, even artwork, whatever the class could get their hands on, and work on an analysis. Hange hadn't given many guidelines; they wanted to leave it open and see what the class would come up with. Your group hadn't made a decision yet, but so far, Eren was dead set on writing an analysis on who he thought was right and freedom and some other crap, while Jean only had talked about how Eren was wrong. 

Luckily enough, Armin had already written up a potential analysis summary, one that focused on how the two sides were similar and what they shared in common with the rest of humanity, and how trying to pick a side would only allow their bloody history to repeat again. His was rather long winded, but it allowed for you to pick and choose the best parts, and what you guys wouldn't really need. 

You spent some time searching the internet for more sources, coming across a few articles on what could be a deeper meaning to the story, and a few on what could have been the rest of the world's view on both Marley and Eldia. 

That was when you came across a page for the local museum; it seemed that there was going to be an exhibit about the book, featuring many different artists and even some written works. Taking a moment to write down the dates and price for tickets in your phone’s note app. You then sent a quick text to Armin about it, letting him know that if he wanted, you could go and check it out with Jean. 

Clicking your phone off, you gave a heavy sigh and stood up, pulling your arms above your head in a stretch before continuing to work on the project. You knew that you should probably eat something, and drink some water, as you hadn’t really been able to do so in the last few hours. But with the project being so important, you decided against getting back up. If you got up now, chances were that you’d end up wasting some time doing who knows what. You really needed to just focus on your work, food, water and relaxing could come later. This was typical for you, what was one more time anyways?

Quietly, your afternoon quickly turned to night, and you wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for both of your roommates crashing into your room. 

You turned around, eyeballing Sasha and your third roommate, Marco Bodt, unsure if you really wanted to ask questions. 

"She was drinking with Connie at his place," 

"Huh? Noo I waz'nt ! Conn and I were jus playin a game an' then…and then..mmkay maybe I was drinking, but!" Sasha rambles on for a minute, still leaning heavily on Marco, who just gave a half hearted and weary smile. 

You shook your head, and stood up, making your way over to Sasha taking her off Marco's hands "Was Connie like this too?" you asked.

"Yeah, he and Jean both…" Marco sighed, following you as you took Sasha to her room. While you carefully put her in her bed,  Marco pulled her shoes off for her. 

At his words, you paused for just a moment then you continued to fish Sasha's phone from her pocket, placing it on the charger for her. 

"Of course, Jean was drinking, too." you remarked. You tried your best to ignore the irritation rising in you. It wasn't like you guys had to get the whole project done right away, or that Jean couldn't enjoy a drink with his friends. But, it wouldn't surprise you if only Armin and yourself had been the only two to even start.

As the two of you left Sasha to sleep, Marco motioned to the kitchen, saying, "Hungry?" You gave a small nod in response.

Once in the small kitchen area, you hopped onto the counter while your roommate got to work on making something simple. From the looks of it, he was just making mac and cheese, but you couldn't really care less. You hadn't noticed it earlier, but you were actually starving. 

A quiet buzz from your pocket pulled your attention from Marco cooking, and you pulled your phone out, seeing a few messages from an unsaved number. 

"Heyy, it's me"

"Jean"

"just figured i'd text you since we have be partners"

"Not complaining cause i dont wanna be stuck with eren" 

You shook your head at your phone, typing a quick reply back, “Wow really? I couldn’t tell.”

Another buzz, another incoming message, “I really hate that guy. He’s stuck up, and always thinks he’s right”

“You know, I feel like there’s someone else like that too.” You sucked in a deep breath, already feeling a tinge of annoyance creeping its way into your body. Sure, Jean was bound to be the better of the two, but that didn’t mean that you wanted him texting you about his testosterone fueled hatred for Eren.

A few moments pass before he texts you again, the words a little hard to make out at first, “you better not be implying that im like him”

“I would never do that. You are an okay person in my eyes”

“Just okay? I’m fuckin’ great!”

“Yeahh, sure. I agree with you, 100%”

You could almost feel his skeptical gaze through your phone as he sent yet another message, “I dont know if I believe that.”

“I dont care if you believe it or not tbh”

“I cant tell if you like me or not”

At this, you paused. You didn’t really know the guy outside of what you were told by Marco and Sasha. And he definitely did not know you. If he did, he wouldn’t be bothering you right now. But as much as that all was true, you also didn’t want to outright say that you didn’t like him, at least not over text while he was suspiciously hitting you up out of the blue.

“im not sure if like is the right word. Right now I tolerate you.” 

“Thats a good thing right?”

You didn’t answer, figuring that he would eventually get the hint. But, within minutes, he was texting you yet again. You watched as more messages popped up one by one, all of which just as hard to read as the others. Though you eventually figured them out. He was promising to do his share of the project, as well as promising to keep on schedule with it. The last thing he sent was asking to meet up tomorrow, and figure out what you wanted him to do, and something about how he couldn't really understand the guideline sheet. 

You sent a quick reply, just a place and a time, before returning your phone to your pocket, and just in time, Marco had a bowl of delicious mac and cheese for you. 

"Thanks man, you're the best." 

"Hey, you cooked last night," he said, shrugging, "and somehow it was pretty impressive, given the fact that we're all super broke and have next to nothing in our cupboards," 

You let out a small laugh at that. "I am a person of many talents."

"Do tell your secrets, as I am eager to know," Marco says in-between bites, playing into the bit.

"Oh, I couldn't, because then you would have to learn my /tragic/ backstory of how I had to fend for myself as a child." You dramatically sigh, placing a hand to your forehead, and then paused, peeking out at Marco before saying, "That part is actually true. At my house, we often had 'Fend for Yourself Nights' where you kinda just threw stuff together it could be leftovers, cereal or, like, dry ramen." 

Marco chuckles, pointing his fork at you and saying "So that must be the secret then!" 

The kitchen rendezvous went on for a while longer before you both headed off to bed, agreeing that Sasha can do the dishes when she wakes up. 

The next day, you had managed to drag yourself out of bed and find your way to the coffee shop where you were supposed to be meeting up with Jean. 

Key word is 'supposed' to be, since it had been 30 minutes since you had gotten there. Hopefully, you didn't look like some poor soul that had gotten stood up on a date and more like someone enjoying their Saturday morning. 

Another ten minutes passed, and no word from Jean, you had finished your coffee, and had already finished working on pulling out key information from a few of the web sources that you found the night before. 

You glanced at the time again and cursed under your breath. You had better things to be doing. So, you quickly pack up your things and toss out the trash before leaving.  

Just as you returned to the little table to grab your bag, the bell at the door chimed, drawing your attention.  

There stood Jean Kirstein himself, out of breath, hair hastily brushed out of his face, and clothes a whole mess…you were pretty sure he had worn them yesterday too. 

However, his sudden entrance had also gathered stares from everyone in the shop;most people looked on with a frown, questioning why he had just thrown open the door like that, just to stand there looking like a lost puppy. 

You groaned, marching towards him and then grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the way. 

"Seriously? You show up almost an hour late, and make a big scene?!" you say, continuing to pull him down the sidewalk.

"I know, I know!" He took in a sharp breath, stumbling as he went. 

"I mean seriously?! What's your deal?" 

"I didn't mean to be late! And can you stop shouting? My head is killing me…" 

You came to an abrupt stop and turned around to face him. "It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to be late, you were still late! I mean, come on, I sat there and looked completely stupid while I waited!" 

At your words, he tugged his arm free from your grasp, and hesitated for a moment before, saying, "Okay, I'm sorry. I should have been here on time." 

"Or at least texted me to tell me!" You sighed, bringing a hand up to your temple. "Whatever, let's just find somewhere else to sit and I can show you what your part of the project is." 

With those words, the two of you walked in silence until you were back at campus, arriving at one of the rooms designated for studying. It didn't take long to run through Jean's responsibilities, and for you both to settle into a somewhat uncomfortable quiet and begin to work. 

Currently, you were taking the information gathered earlier and writing them into evidence for your thesis while Jean was searching for art pieces to analyze. 

Every fifteen to twenty minutes or so, you'd check in with eachother and help if needed-and Jean needed more help than you did, really. 

And maybe if he hadn’t spammed you with drunk texts the night before, and then came late to your meeting, it wouldnt have bothered you as much. So when he did ask for your help, you were being short and to the point. Luckily for you, helping him was easy. It consisted of choosing between artwork, and identifying key themes or details that stood out, and then giving him ways to write it down so that it made sense with the overall idea behind your project. Now and then, you'd have him read over what you wrote, just to see what all he thought and if he had any suggestions.

Finally, after a few hours, Jean leaned back in his chair and sighed loudly. "Okay, I think we've got a lot done. Why don't we break for the day?" he suggested.

At his words, you hesitated. While a break did sound nice, you'd much rather keep working. If you got ahead, there'd be time for breaks later, or time for helping Armin and the others. 

"You go on ahead, I'm going to stay a little longer. Thanks for showing up today." You gave a small smile before looking back down to your laptop, trying to spot where you left off. 

For a moment or so, Jean packed up his things, not necessarily quietly, but enough for it not to bother you. Though, after he finished doing so, he didn't leave. Instead, he stood /annoyingly/ close to you, seemingly trying to burn holes into the back of your head. 

"Is there something you need or…?" 

"You're seriously going to stay and work more?" 

"...Yeah?" 

Jean let out a small series of 'tsk' noises and began to close your notebooks and the few textbooks you had brought. You stuttered out half of a sentence, none of it making any sense, as you watched him stack up your things, his finishing move to carefully close your laptop without even shutting it off. 

"What are you…Why…I mean-what?" 

"I think you work too hard." he remarked, grinning. Normally that would sound snarky coming from him, this time he sounded gentle, and nothing in his face seemed to show any ill will. "I mean, I've never seen you do anything fun. All you do is push yourself to do work." 

You were at a loss for words, face heating up with embarrassment. Just because he had never seen you do fun things didn't mean that you were some sort of shut in who only ever focused on homework and studying. 

Jean waited for you to pack your things, all of which you did while in a small haze, trying to comprehend it all. When you were done, he motioned for you to follow him, not saying a word of what he had planned. 

The two of you walked outside, Jean slightly ahead of you as he continued to lead the way. Occasionally, someone would stop Jean, asking him about a party or a class. He seemed to have a lot of friends, or rather just a lot of acquaintances.

Eventually, you both came to a little grassy field, one where students often came to waste time, or play games like spikeball, or frisbee. Currently, it wasn't very busy, and the two of you found a spot to sit and relax under a warm spring sky.

For the first five minutes, you sat in silence, an almost comfortable one. You found yourself mumbling about how this wasn't so bad, noticing from the corner of your eye as Jean turned to look at you. 

"Would I ever lead you astray?" Jean elbowed you carefully, earning a scowl from you. 

"Given that we don't really know each other, I'm not sure," you retorted. 

"I know that we've had at least three classes together since freshman year, and that you don't seem to like anyone," he pointed out. 

"Not true,” you said. “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot," 

At this he barked out a laugh, a wonderful sound really, compared to his typical evil sounding snicker. "Okay, so you appreciate the presence of three specific people." 

"Three? I only named two people," you said, holding up two fingers to signify your only two friends. 

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but right now you don't seem to hate me, so I counted myself."

You gave another scowl."If we were able to pick our own groups, I would have picked other people, just for the record" 

"Ouch, that kind of stings." 

You couldn't tell if he was serious or not, but one thing you did know was that he probably wouldn't have picked you either.  Not that it really bothered you. While it was true that you've shared classes in the two years that you've been in college, the two of you never really talked. 

Sure, you've had the quick conversations in the hall, or maybe accidentally bumped into each other when trying to take Sasha home, or even just when Jean would hang out with Marco at your dorm. 

It wasn't that you didn't like him (aside from his huge ego and inability to get along with certain people) or even that you didn't like people in general. You honestly just wanted to focus on school, so that you would graduate on time, and get the hell out of this town. Personal relationships could come later, and you were completely content with that. Being alone wasn't something that bothered you. Or, something that you /let/ bother you. 

You leaned back until you were laying down in the grass, staring up at the cloudy sky. The more you thought about it, the more your head seemed to churn with an anxious and maybe even guilty conscience. 

"By the way, I'd say that, even though we didn't get to pick our own groups, I don't mind being paired with you." You sighed, keeping your eyes trained on the sky as Jean laid down next to you. 

From there, the conversation switched to a few different topics, one of them being a small argument over the particular shape of a cloud and what you thought it was. 

Eventually, the clouds dissipated, and the sky faded from its blue to a dusty orange lined with a pale pink-ish-purple. 

"I guess it's time to go home for the night," Jean said. 

"Mhm, guess so," you quietly said, but made no effort to sit up yet. 

Next to you, Jean stood, brushing off his clothes and running a hand through his hair, attempting to make sure there wasn't any grass on his person. Then, when it was apparent that you still hadn't even moved, he nudged you with his shoe. "You coming or what?" 

"I’m waiting," 

"For what?" 

"The first star I see" 

Jean slowly looked away from you and to the sky, "Can I ask why?" 

"No." 

It wasn't really a big deal, but this was your favorite time of the day, and you had the habit of looking for the first star you could find and making a small wish on it. It had been something you'd done ever since you were a kid; old habits die hard. But it wasn't something you just went and told people about, especially not someone like Jean. You were sure that he'd poke fun at you for it. 

His voice pulled you away from your thoughts, and you watched as he pointed just above your heads. "I think there's one over there." 

From your perspective, he was lined up to where the star was atop his finger.The sight made you smile softly; you didn’t notice that he had glanced back down, watching the small moment. 

"Okay, now we can go." You sat up slowly and climbed to your feet, grabbing your bag from where it had been by your feet. 

The two of you parted ways for the night, and you found yourself back at your dorm, which was uncharacteristically empty and quiet. Either Sasha would come home drunk again (or with her hands full of food that she got from Connie or that Niccolo guy) or that she would stay out for the night. Marco on the other hand, was probably visiting some other friends for the short weekend, so most likely, you had the place to yourself until the following evening. 

With the freedom at hand, you took some time to make dinner and lounged around the shared living space, until eventually, your eyelids grew heavy, and you forced yourself into your bed for the night.

The sound of knocking at your door woke you up. At first, you had half a mind to ignore it, but with your roommates, and the friends they had, the knocking wouldn't stop.  You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was around noon, a time that you hardly ever slept in till.

"Yeah, okay, I'm up. Who is it?" you grumbled at the door, noting that if it was Marco, he wouldn't necessarily need to knock, meaning that it must be Sasha. 

And it was. At your words, she swung the door open lazily, and leaned around the corner, "Heyyy, I was wondering if you had plans today? Connie, Jean, and I were going to play some volleyball! Wanna come? Marco is gonna join us later!" 

You took a moment to think it over. It was Sunday, so you didn't have classes, and depending on how long you were out, you could always do more homework later. Not to mention, Jean's comment about how you worked too much was still fresh in your mind. 

"...Yeah, okay, I'll come play. Give me a few minutes and I'll get dressed." 

She gave you a huge grin, shouting over her shoulder, "They said they'd come! You guys still have the net?" 

You watched as she disappeared back into the main area of the dorm, and then shut your door to change. When you exited, you could see the three of them waiting by the door, Jean holding the net, while Connie was tossing the ball between his hands. 

The walk was fairly short, as Jean had suggested the field that the two of you had been at the other day, and just like the day before, there weren't very many people out. You guys could set up a spot without having to worry about anyone else. 

At least, that's how it was at first. The game went smoothly. Surprisingly, all three of them were pretty good at the sport; though, if you had to rank them, it would be Sasha, then Jean (mostly because he can use his height to his advantage), and then Connie. 

For the first game you played, it was you and Sasha versus Jean and Connie. Then, it switched to you and Connie, and finally, you and Jean. 

No one was really counting points; no one could keep track, though each side was sure that they were winning, even if they weren't. It was about halfway through the current match, right as you were about to serve, when something came crashing into your head. 

It had hit you pretty hard, and it took you a moment to even realize what had happened and what was currently happening. 

"Hey, man, watch where you throw this thing! You nearly took my partner out!" Jean was holding a football and pointing it aggressively at another college student, who you think was named Floch or something close to it. 

The guy snatched the ball from Jean, giving him the dirtiest look. "Well, maybe you guys shouldn't be playing so close to where we are." 

At this, Connie and Sasha stepped up. Connie took to Jean's side, starting to bicker with the guy, while Sasha checked your head, fussing over you. 

"Just say sorry to our friend already. You can at least agree that you hit them!" You weren't sure who said that, as all the voices blended together until that moment. Suddenly all eyes were on you. 

More specifically, Floch's eyes. He regarded you warily, annoyance clear in his eyes and voice. "Your dumbass friend looks fine to me,” he sneered. “And besides, we tried to warn them, and they didn't move. It's their own fault. Don't go blaming me for your friend being an idiot." 

You weren't sure what came over you; maybe it was anger from the childish name calling, or maybe it was the stress of the week getting to you, but within an instant, you had crossed the few feet to get to him, and threw a punch. 

You watched as he stumbled back, nearly running into one of his nameless friends, as he clutched at his face. He was clearly seeing red.

"How dare you!" he shouted out. He started to make his way over to you, obscenities of all sorts falling from his mouth.

None of which you really heard, because at that exact moment, Sasha and Connie both shouted the same thing, 'Run,' and took off. 

And, before you knew it, Jean grabbed your hand, pulling you along as he chased after the two, until you four were sure that Floch and his extras weren't going to follow you. 

When you finally stopped, everyone was bent over, stuck in between laughing and gasping for air. 

"Holy shit! That was insane!" Sasha wheezed out, and straightened out, turning to the group with a large smile on her face.

Connie spoke next, hands still on his knees. "I can't believe we ran away." 

All at once, realization hit you: you had just clocked a guy, and then ran away, without even thinking twice. Never in your life had you done something like that. You weren't super confrontational, and you certainly would rather avoid physical altercations. But, at that moment, you had just done it. And, the crazy thing about it was how amusing you found it. Because even though you were struggling to breathe, you were laughing. The kind of laugh where you couldn't stop, and your eyes would start to tear up. 

From where he was standing at your side, Jean watched for a moment, a certain fluttering in his chest (though he could pass it off as his own endeavors with taking in air). You, for the first time that he had seen, were so laid back about the fact that you had hit someone. And the way that you were now chuckling to yourself, clearly in a sort of disbelief mixed with content. 

Jean drew your attention, "Is it bad that I kind of liked seeing you hit him?" Then he paused, as if he had rethought his choice of words. "I mean, in the sense that Floch is a stuck up, entitled bastard, and that he had it coming." 

You gave a little huff, and shrugged. "Well, I'm sure anyone would pay to see that…I honestly didn't know that I was going to hit him…until right after." 

"Well, that was amazing! That guy's been a tyrant since the beginning of the year! He even tries to get in with Eren's group, as if he was even worth being someone to talk to." Connie clapped a hand on your back, his adrenaline still running through him. 

"And I thought that Jean was the one to start fights," Sasha teased.

"Sasha! I don't start fights!" 

Around you, the three continued to talk while you watched, enjoying the sight.  

It was rather nice, for once. You weren't holed up in your dorm room while everyone else had fun, even if the fun was getting into a fight of sorts—which, as you thought back on it, the whole thing was kind of funny. It would have easily been solved if those assholes had just apologized, but you were starting to think that this outcome was better. 

“Hey, should we go back for our things?” Jean asked, pulling your attention to him.

“Yeah, probably, and if those assholes are still there, I think we know someone who can take them on for us.” Connie sent a lopsided grin your way, a certain mischievous look in his eyes.

You shrugged, acting as innocent as possible. “Oh yeah, you’d be the perfect guy for that, even with the serious height disadvantage.” 

Connie’s mouth dropped open, not quite expecting that kind of remark from you. As far as he knew, you were silent, hardworking, and the person who likes to keep to yourself. Even you were a little surprised, but, maybe after today’s events you could try out some new ways to enjoy your life a little more.

Once again, the four of you made your way back to the field, and as you did, you could see a familiar figure standing by your net, looking down at his phone. 

“Marco! You made it!” Connie shouted out, drawing your friend’s attention. “You missed all the action; it was insane!”

“Huh? Did I miss out on playing? And where were you guys?” 

As you approached, Sasha and Connie exploded into answers for his question. 

“You only missed a little of our game-”

“We had to run from Forrester and his braindead lackeys!”

“We’ve got our own Rocky! You should have seen the way they punched him! No hesitation at all!”

Slowly, Marco seemed to piece all of the information together, nodding as he thought it all over. His eyes looked at everyone one by one until he got to you. “You punched someone? The most I've ever seen from you was the time you swore at your computer when it crashed!”

A small and almost shy smile escaped you, “Well, to be fair he started it. I honestly didn’t even think about doing it; my hand moved on it’s own,”

He only shook his head, looking back around the group. “So, are we still playing?”

Jean shook his head. “Maybe we should head back to one of the dorms? Relax or play some games?”

“Oh! I’ve got some fun games!” Sasha chimed in, then paused. “But I’m kind of hungry, so maybe we could make some food, too!”

Once everyone agreed to the plan, the now five of you ended up in the dorm you shared with Marco and Sasha, where Connie, Sasha and Marco focused on setting up some games in the little living room area, and you and Jean were tasked with making some dinner. Of course, it wasn’t exactly easy, given the few options, but eventually, the two of you were able to settle on a college delicacy: instant ramen. 

You pulled out a pot to fill with water, while Jean opened a few packs of said ramen. All in all, it was easy to make, and didn’t take terribly long. Before you knew it, you were handing out bowls to the other three while Jean brought over yours and his to where you were now sitting on the floor, some game cards in front of you. 

“Okay, listen up, I’m not explaining this twice,” Connie announced. “The game is simple: read a card to yourself and then say someones name who you think matches the card. You flip a coin. If it’s heads, you tell everyone what was on the card and give that person the card. If it’s tails, you keep it to yourself, and the card is yours.” Connie gave everyone a pointed look, and when no questions or objections were raised, the game started.

The first to go is Marco; he took a moment to read his card before immediately calling out Connie’s name. Then when the coin was flipped, it landed on heads, earning a small sigh from Marco. 

“It asked who would be the one to need parental supervision no matter what age someone is,” Marco explained.

“What? Why not Sasha?! She gets into more trouble than I do!” 

“Hah! Say that to Professor Levi and all the times he has had to tell you to shut up,” Jean remarked “And not to mention you black out at every party you go to. Do you know how many times I have to carry you home while you sing at the top of your lungs?”

Connie grumbled a bit, but didn’t try to deny the claims. Instead, he pulled out a card to read. His turn ended with a flip of tails, making it now your turn. 

From the main deck, you pulled your card and read it over silently: ‘Out of everyone in the group, who would you rather make out with?’

You can feel your face heat up, already knowing that you only really have two options, Jean or Marco. And Marco is only really a choice because of how well you know him, but even then, you wouldn’t really want to do that with him. So after a few moments of silence, you call Jean’s name, looking anywhere but at his face. 

“That took you some time; must be a good card.” Sasha grinned, reaching for the coin and giving it an impressive flip. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as it landed, and all at once, five heads stuck together to see the outcome.

Heads. The worst possible way for things to go. You could feel all eyes on you now, and you begrudgingly read out the card, once again avoiding looking at Jean entirely. 

A chorus of ooo’s and ahh’s filled your ears, and everyone had something to say about your answer. 

The only one you even managed to hear was the man himself: “I hope you plan to take me out first, I’m not won over so easily." Of course, he had a cocky smirk on his face, pointed directly at you. 

“Whatever, just…whoever is next, take your turn.” You shook your head, busying yourself with eating some of your food that was now starting to get a little cold. 

Time seemed to escape you all and the night drew to a close with Connie and Jean taking their leave. Marco took the time to wash the dishes, roping Sasha into helping, and you retired to your room. You took the time to change into some comfier clothes and settle into your bed, though not quite wanting to sleep just yet. 

Your mind was still stuck on the first game you played and the card you had picked Jean for. While you wouldn’t argue against the idea of finding Jean attractive, or even the idea of kissing him, you just weren’t sure why you were so trapped in thinking about it. You didn’t even know him all that well, and for the most part, you had thought that he was pretty unbearable. 

And yet, the more your thoughts seemed to revolve around him, the more you could feel an uneasy knot forming in your stomach. There was no way that you were going to let yourself get wrapped up in developing feelings for him, or anyone. You were supposed to be focusing on school so that you could get the hell out of this town and make something of yourself.

Not to mention the fact that all of your previous attempts at relationships crashed and burned. The last time that you had gotten close with someone in that way, you ended up with a mixture of being heartbroken and incredibly angry. That was about the time you started keeping to yourself, as if getting to know someone in a more than platonic way would cause your world to shatter again. You couldn’t-no /wouldn’t/ deal with something like that again. 

You let out a groan, planting face first into your pillow and trying to shoo away all thoughts related to romance and feelings, and of Jean Kirstein. 

“Suffocating yourself?” 

You jumped lightly, head snapping up to see Marco in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. His expression was a little hard to read, though he could be like that at times. 

“Uh…no, not quite what I’m going for, but if it gets the job done, then sure,” you joked.

He moved across the room to his own bed where he took a seat, facing you. “Then what’s with the face-in-pillow tactic?”

You hesitated, knowing full and well how close Marco was with Jean, closer than he was with you. “Oh, uh, just, school things, homework, assignments, that sort of thing…”

His eyes narrowed slightly, brows furrowing. “Yeah, for once I don’t buy that, but if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you to spill the details."

Again, you paused, turning away from Marco and looking towards the door. In truth, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him, since he wouldn’t ever tell a secret that wasn’t his. He was definitely the guy who would just want to talk things out, not wanting things to end badly. 

“Okay…Well…that card I got earlier,” you began. “I’m just worried, and I know that it’s just a stupid game, but I cant help but think about it.”

“Worried that Jean took it the wrong way, or worried that you’d actually want to kiss him?”

Marco was somehow always hitting the nail on the head, a talent of his. 

“Would saying both make sense?”

He thought for a moment, the room filling with an unnamable silence, until he spoke again. “Well, I’m sure Jean is going to take it in the way he always does: an ego boost for his way too big head.” Another pause. “As for the idea of maybe wanting to kiss him, I wouldn’t say that's an all too terrible idea, besides the fact that it’s Jean. But, if you really aren't sure about how you feel towards him, maybe you could…test it out?"

“Test it out?” you repeated, confused.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Like ask him to hang out or something. You don’t have to necessarily make it like a date, but you could use the time to get to know him more, and figure out if it’s just because everyone made a big deal out of it, or if you might actually be interested in him, or getting to know him.”

You thought for a moment. The idea was pretty simple, and a good one at that, though just thinking about it made your heart rate speed up. It wasn’t like you had never been one on one with Jean, but now, with all of your thoughts being scrambled like eggs, it was slightly overwhelming. But when it came down to it, you wanted to sort it all out. If you could set your mind straight, and get rid of these terrible thoughts about Jean, you could get back on track for school.

“You’re right, I’ll definitely try that.” You let out a small breath of air and turned back to Marco. “Thanks, I’m glad you’re here.”

“What would you do without me? And don’t worry— I won’t say anything to anyone. my lips are sealed” He smiled, hand coming up to his mouth to mime a zipper motion.

“Okay, good. Unless you want to end up like the douche from earlier, I wouldn’t recommend telling a soul.” 

He gave a laugh before gathering some of his things to go and take a shower, leaving you alone once more. You eventually drifted off to sleep, and surprisingly, you didn’t wake up once.

The next day, you only had one class, and once that was over, you had gone to the library to study, needing to get work done for a few of your other classes. It was a nice change in pace from the day you had yesterday. It wasn’t super crowded, either, which meant you could focus on your work in peace. 

Though, it didn’t last long, as two new faces joined your table. You looked up, almost expecting to see Jean and Connie, or Marco and Sasha, but to your surprise, it was Eren and Armin. 

“I hope you don’t mind us joining you!” Armin smiles, though something in his eyes tells you that he didn’t pick your table without a reason. 

“Uh, no that’s okay.” 

He and Eren settled into two of the chairs, the latter of the two only pulling out his phone. Armin did the exact opposite. He took out two textbooks, a large notebook, and a handful of pens, pencils and markers. 

For the first five minutes or so, the three of you sat in silence. You worked on homework for a communications class, while armin was seemingly working on a paper for a psyche class. But when Eren suddenly scoffed at his phone, you stopped what you were doing to look up at him, questioning his action. 

He in turn looked at you, maybe even through you. “So, turns out, someone gave Forrester a nasty bruise yesterday. He wont say who, so i’m thinking he got his ass kicked and just doesn’t want to admit it.” 

You feigned ignorance, giving Eren a blank stare, “I’m not really sure who that is, but sounds like a tough time for him.”

Eren regarded you for a moment, but it wasn’t his stare that bothered you. You now had Armin’s attention, as if he wanted to ask a question. Or, make a comment on what you said. But instead he said, “Well, I’m not the one to really get into these things, but Floch does like to cause problems for himself, so maybe he deserved it?” 

You nodded along, not wanting to give Eren any more information. With him, rumors tended to get out of hand quickly, and you really did not want to be the talk of the school over an altercation with Floch. To everyone in the school, you were pretty much some nobody, and frankly, you weren’t upset at the idea. If it meant less trouble for you, it was going to be something you’d stay okay with.

“Well he’s been bitching about it all day. It’s starting to get on my nerves.” Eren flipped his phone over, leaning back in his chair as he did. 

“Does he expect you to do something about it?” You asked, still trying to keep a low profile, while also trying to pry more information out of him.

“I’m sure thats what he wants, but I’m not going to help him with that, Floch can fight his own battles.”

A thick silence descended over your table. You took it as a sign that you could continue working on your homework. The one for your comms class wasn’t due until tomorrow, but you really wanted to finish it. 

This had always really been how you did things. You tried to finish things early, study as soon as possible, take as much time to get your work done as possible. And you weren’t the only one. Armin had also gone back to his work, and though you weren’t sure when it was due for him, but it wouldn’t be surprising if it was due at the end of the week or so.

You weren’t all that close with Armin, but the two of you had taken the time to study with eachother for the one class that you did share, and you had even reached out once to ask if he would tutor you for a few sessions, needing help with your math at the time. It was a nice thought to know that you weren’t the only student to stray from the eyes of their peers.

Though he had a harder time with it, being best friends with Eren and all. Not to mention he was also friends with Mikasa Ackerman, who was arguably the girl who drew most people’s attention. 

Before you knew it, two hours had passed, and you felt your phone buzz. You picked it up from the table, squinting your eyes at the bright screen. It was Jean.

“Hey, why are you with Armin, and that idiot.”

At this, you paused, looking around the library, not seeing Jean. 

“Where are you?” you replied.

After a minute or two, your phone buzzed again.

“Come and find me.” 

And that was it. He didn’t send any other messages, even after you sent him two more, questioning him again. You frowned, then looked to your things. You had been working for awhile, so getting up and moving might not be the worst thing. You proceeded to pack everything that you had pulled out earlier, and stood from your chair, looking to the other two.

“I think I’m going to head out. Let’s meet up again later in the week to work on Professor Hange’s assignment.”

Armin glanced up, and smiled, “Okay! How about Thursday? I can show you what all I’ve finished!”

“Sounds good.” You gave a short wave, and turned away from the table, scanning the surrounding areas before setting off in a random direction. 

There were a few more tables behind some of the bookshelves, but none of the students sitting at them were Jean. You checked out the library’s computer section next, and kept looking until you ended up near Armin and Eren again. Another frown crossed your face, until you heard a muffled laugh. 

With the new hint, you looked upwards to the second floor. And there he was, leaning against the railing, smirking down at you. You felt your face heat up in what you were going to call embarrassment, and definitely not any other word that had to do with your complicated thoughts on him, and how from where you stood, he looked almost handsome. 

You sent a halfhearted glare his way and headed up the stairs, making your way over to him, about to comment on his antics, but you weren’t able to get a word out before he could make fun of you. 

“You looked really dumb running around trying to find me.”

You gave an astonished laugh, “Yeah, well you sounded like a complete stalker just now.”

“And you still came to find me. I’m starting to think you like me more than you let on.” 

The unsettling feeling returned to your stomach at his words, though you weren’t surprised that he was poking fun at you after yesterdays game. “In your dreams.” You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to ease the increasing amount of uneasiness that was slowly taking ahold of you. 

“Hm, I guess that’s true. Does that mean you want me to dream about it?” He looked at you contently, despite all of what he said being the brashest thing you had heard from him yet.

You didn’t say anything to that, instead you changed the subject quickly. “To answer your question about who I was with, I actually didn’t plan on sitting with them. Armin and Eren joined me.”

He gave a slow nod, and peered back at the table down below, where the two were still sitting, “Do you think I could spit on Eren from here?”

“No, and I dont think you should even try.” 

“Buzzkill.”

You scoffed, “I am not a buzzkill. You are just in the middle of some pointless battle of being better than each other.”

Jean looked back to you, staring at you for a moment. Then back down at Eren. “I just don’t get what everyone sees in that guy. He’s clearly an egotistical bastard with no regards to anyone else.”

“Do you think that you guys have anything in common in the fact that you both have ridiculously large egos?”

“Don’t lump me in with him.” This he said more seriously, “Anyways, enough about him, do you want to go do something?”

“Like what?”

He shrugged, and started for the stairs. You followed him wordlessly, and the two of you left the library, now back outside where a light breeze met you. The silence continued to hang over you two as you walked aimlessly in a random direction. You couldn’t tell if he was still thinking about your comment on him and Eren, or something else completely. You decided against asking him about it, and instead found a different topic. 

“Hey so, I found this art exhibit at the museum, it’s about the book Hange assigned us. I was thinking that we could go and check it out and see if we can find anything useful?”

He thought for a moment, eyes wandering the path ahead. “Okay, it doesn’t sound like the worst way to spend an afternoon.”

“Would eleven in the morning on Friday or Saturday be okay?”

“Friday works better for me, I think I’ve got plans with Connie on Satuday.” 

“Okay, Friday it is.” You paused, a smile slowly making it’s way onto your face, “Just make sure to be on time. I wont wait for you this time.”

“Hey! I already apologized for that.” He stopped in place, giving you a pointed look.

You stopped a few feet in front of him, shrugging as you continued to speak, “I need to cover all the bases. I am not going to wait around for you, just for you to tell me that you were hungover.”

“I am not going to be hungover again. I’m not going to make you wait, I swear.”

“You better not, I won’t be as forgiving this time.” You go to move past him, elbowing him as you do. 

He turns on his heel to catch up with you, giving you a slight push at the same time, “You were hardly forgiving last time. You were mad the entire time we were working on the assignment,” Jean pauses, taking a moment to look at the path that you had set off on, “Wait, where are we even going?”

You glanced over to him, then back infront of you. “Well, I’ve done nothing but school work today, and you didn’t mention anything specific other than ‘go do something’ and last time you picked where we went, so now its my turn.”

“Are you going to tell me where we are heading at least?”

“No.” You smiled a little at the statement, remembering how you had done the same thing to him when he had asked about you caring so much about seeing the stars. Looking back over to Jean, who was staring straight ahead, you took a moment to really look at him.

He was pretty tall, and when he wasn’t smiling like some sort of evil bastard, he had a pretty nasty resting bitch face, a combination that probably scared anyone who didn’t know him. Though, you could say that despite all that, he had a few attractive features to him. When he was smiling, actually smiling that is, his eyes lit up. You hadn’t noticed it much before, but now when you thought back on the past few days of being around him, you could see the way his eyes would hold a certain softness.  And when he was thinking, he tended to frown, scrunching up his nose until he came to whatever conclusion he needed. And when the two of you were in the field the other evening, he had an almost blissful aura to him, as if he had no cares in the world, you wouldn't ever guess that he was someone who caused so much trouble. Honestly it was probably a good thing that he had a difficult personality. If his ego was bad now, you don't want to know what he'd be like if he knew all of this about himself.

You looked away before he could catch you staring, and before you gave yourself any more time to think about him, not wanting to let yourself actually fall for the guy. 

Instead you focused on finding your way to today's randomized destination. If you were being honest, you hadn't actually thought of somewhere to go, and frankly, with how little you actually went out, you didn't know too many spots around campus. Regardless, you continued to lead the way, until an idea formed in your head. 

Earlier in the year, you had gotten a tad bit lost while trying to find a class, and ended up on the edge of your campus, where you stumbled on an old tree. Aside from the size of the thing, it seemed completely normal. But when you had looked further at it, there was something of a hidey hole in its backside. Since discovering it, you had made countless trips to the tree, using it as a place to get away from the school. You definitely weren't the first person to discover it, but it seemed like no one else ever really visited the old thing. 

As you and Jean came upon the tree, he gave a low whistle, craning his head back to take in it's height, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you just took me to a make out spot," 

You threw a bewildered look at him, before shaking your head slowly, "Well, since you do know better, you should know that it's more likely that I've brought you to the best place on campus to hide a body."

He in turn shook his own head, "And here I thought we we're getting closer," 

"Closer to hiding your body?"

"Not quite what I was thinking…" he trailed off, taking a moment to circle around the tree, his hand trailing along the bark as he went, "so, what made you pick here? Other than premeditated murder."

As he came back around, you watched as he took the time to drop his bag at the ground by his feet, kneeling down next to it for a moment, searching its contents. 

"Hm, I'm not entirely sure. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who ever comes here anymore." You pause, eyeballing what Jean was now holding in his hands, "It's kind of like a secret hideout minus the secret part, since anyone can stumble on this old tree." 

"And yet you brought me here…I'm starting to worry about my wellbeing," he chuckles, then takes a seat a few feet away from the tree. 

In his hands, he held a sketchbook. It looked a good few years old, as loose pages stuck out here and there, and the sheets were starting to yellow along the edges. You watched on quietly, as he flipped open to one of the last few pages, pausing as he glanced back at the tree. 

After a few moments you moved to stand just behind him, looking down at the page, which now held some sketch lines, resembling the tree just ahead of you.

You kept quiet for a bit, watching him quietly. He was lighthanded, it was as if any stray line within the whole piece would fly off the page and into the world around you. 

"You know you can sit and watch me draw too, right?"

"Yeah, and sit next to you? No thanks." You moved away from him, a slight flustered tone in your voice as you realized just how long you had been observing him. 

Instead, you took a seat at the base of the tree, opening your own bag, pulling out some more of your homework. Between the two of you, the only noises were the sounds of pencil on paper, and the occasional shifting of branches in the wind. 

You weren't really sure just how long things stayed that way. The only thing that brought your mind back to reality was the feeling of being stared at. 

"Need something?" You asked, arching a quizzical eyebrow in Jean's direction.

He shook his head, closing his sketchbook quietly, "Not at all. I was just wondering how much homework you were going to do before you got bored of being such a studious person." 

You scoffed at him. He was teasing you for this again? 

"Well, unlike some people, I need to pass all my classes so I can get the hell out of here." 

"You hate it here that much?" 

You paused, a lump forming in your throat. How were you even supposed to answer that question? All in all, this small town was horrible, and had been that way your entire life. Growing up you didn't have very many friends, and your family was fairly distant to you. You had shouldered all of your problems and responsibilities by yourself. Even now, in your college years it was hard to shake the feeling that you were still alone. 

You drew in a breath. "Sometimes, I sit by myself at my desk, and just stare at one of my notebooks until all the lines blur together. And then I realize that I'm crying. But what's funny about that is, I never know why I'm crying. " you start, bringing your eyes to his, "I never have the words to describe what i'm feeling in those moments. It's the same with how I feel about this place. I really don't know if I hate it, or if I'm just…projecting something else onto it." 

Jean stills with the information, until he takes a long breath in, "Art isn't much of a passion for me, as much as it is a hobby. I can't tell you how many half finished sketches I have. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have it in me to finish them, as if I'm scared of not knowing what I'm going to do next." 

He isn't talking about art. You know this from the way that Jean looks at you, not with pity, but with a hint of understanding. 

It was silent once again. Your brain turned over and over as you repeated his words in your head. Slowly, a wistful smile spread across your face. 

"You know Jean, you're not so bad after all." 

He stands up, shaking his head as he does, and makes his way over to you, holding out a hand for you to take, "I have my moments, I can't always be the charming asshole everyone says I am."

You hesitated for a moment, eyes flicking to his hand. Slender fingers and a wide palm, his hand looked soft, and the thought of holding it, even just for a moment, would be comforting. You took his hand, averting your gaze as he helped you to your feet. 

"I'm sure everyone leaves out the 'charming' part."

"That's where you're wrong, everyone thinks I'm charming."

"Everyone but me that is," you chirp back, letting your hands fall to your sides.

"You dont think I'm charming?" 

The churning sensation is back. You /wanted/ to say no, to tell him that he was annoying, loud-mouthed, and a pain in the ass, but somewhere in the time you'd known him, he had become annoyingly endearing, loudly funny, and a pain in the ass to ignore the thumping in your chest. 

"I can't say charming is the word I'd use to describe you. Horribly pleasant maybe, but not charming."

At this he smirks, starting to walk backwards away from you, "Oh so you think I'm pleasant? Hopefully in the way that I'm nice to look at." 

"You missed the word horrible," 

He waved off your comment, instead placing one hand on his chest, right over his heart, while reaching out the other hand towards you, "and yet, if I asked you to join me to a delicious five star dinner at my dorm, you'd still say yes." 

You could feel your face flush, knowing that he didn't mean anything more than just to hang out for a little bit longer, and not in some sort of lame date way, "I'd only come because it would be free food, even if the food is terrible. Like you." 

"So, that's a yes you'll be joining me for dinner? I've got…box mashed potatoes, frozen broccoli, and hopefully leftover seasoned chicken." 

You turned back to where you had left your things, a slightly messy sight. "Alright alright, I'll come, pick up your things and we can go." 

You knelt down next to your bag, trying to ignore the nervous shaking of your hands as you collected your things. Your mind raced with warring thoughts. How did this happen? How was it that Jean Kirstein of all people, had weaseled his way into being someone that you didn't fully hate? But, there was no way you were going to let him get in the way of school, and your plans to finally be free from this horrible town. But then part of you wondered, was it all one sided? Jean seemed to be the type to have all sorts of girls and guys fawning over him, even if he had only ever been open about one specific girl that he was interested in, which of course had been Mikasa. But you couldn't even blame him, she was out of everyone's league. How she seemed to be completely and obviously in love with Eren Jeager of all people was a mystery to you. 

"Hey, are you listening?" His voice stopped your thoughts in their tracks, as you hadn't even noticed that he had been speaking to you. 

"Now why would I be doing that?" You shouldered your bag, standing back up and facing him.

"We've been over this, because I'm charming- sorry, pleasant." 

"Again, you left out the horrible part." 

"I've got a feeling that you don't mean that, otherwise you'd just call me horrible." He turns halfway away from you, looking back to the general area of the school. 

You paused, walking up next to him, trying to ignore the fact that he was right, "You just have selective hearing." 

Jean eyed you while starting to head back to the dorms, a different and softer smile making its way onto his face, "Not when it comes to you." 

You nearly tripped over a stray rock, his words repeating in cycles in your head. You could only give him a glance, busying yourself with avoiding any other stones on the sidewalk. 

What did he mean by that? What did you want those words to mean? Your mind flashes back to your conversation with Marco. The feeling of your heart painfully pounding against your ribs surfaces. Your hands tremble ever so slightly while they grasp at the straps of your bag. Marco was right, and he hadn’t even said anything about you actually having feelings for Jean. 

As the thought hit, you spared another quick look towards him. He was looking at you. Careful eyes studying your demeanor. The way you walked. The way your eyes struggled to meet his. The way your mouth formed a tight line as you realized all of this was happening.

“Hey, if you really don’t want to try my cooking, you don’t have to come.” He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair for a moment. 

You looked away. You could turn him down, you could go home. It would be the easy way out. You could ignore any of his future attempts at hanging out. You could finish school and leave this place. Leave him and everyone else again. 

The thought of it made you shudder. In doing so, you would be condemning yourself to your worst self. Being alone. 

You looked back to Jean, his face morphed into one of concern, clearly puzzled as to why you were taking so long to answer. 

You were tired of being alone. Tired of pushing away your own happiness in pursuit of a future that wasn’t even set in stone. 

You flashed a smile his way, and waved off his words, “No way, you said it was a five star dinner. I can’t pass on that.”

He stared at you for a moment. Then, his confusion melted away, replaced by that famous cocky smile, “Okay good, I wasn’t sure what to do if you bailed on me.”

“Maybe you could have cooked for Connie too, light some candles, play some mood music, you know, make it all romantic for the two of you.” You chuckled, about to make another remark when Jean gave you a playful shove. 

“Why would you say that! I can’t have a romantic dinner with Connie of all people!” 

“Sure you can! It’s easy! Candles, music, food! All you need!” 

Jean groaned and shook his head. “You’re horrible.”

“Pleasant, actually.” You grinned. 

He hummed in response, and you could’ve swore you heard him mumble ‘horribly pleasant my ass’

His dorm room was warm, and set up similarly to yours. The same bland, small kitchen and the same questionable excuse for a couch just a few feet away. Three sets of doors that led to his roommates, and two bathrooms. 

One of the doors were open, and you caught a glimpse of Connie attempting to take mirror selfies. He would take one, bring the phone close to his face, frown and then try again. It wasn’t until his third or forth picture that he noticed you staring through the mirror. 

“Well if it isn’t our very own Rocky!” He grinned, hastily shoving his phone into the pocket of his sweats. 

“Hey Connie” you waved, then smirked a little, “I'm sure the ladies will love all of those selfies.” 

His face flushed slightly, and he stepped out of his small room, “For your information, the ladies already love seeing my handsome face. I was just taking a few more for-”

Jean cut him off, a bark of a laugh filling the room, “Like you can get a girl to think your ugly mug is anything worth looking at.” 

Connie gaped, “Dude, that’s just cold. I thought you liked my face.” 

You eyeballed the two, before turning to Jean and mouthing the words, ‘romantic dinner’ 

Jean glared halfheartedly, before a smile broke through, “and here I thought I was treating you to a five star, romantic dinner.” 

Connie was now the one looking between the two of you, unsure if Jean was being serious or not. You, on the other hand, could feel your face heat up. He had to be joking. Jean was making a joke based off of your joke. That was the only thing that would make sense at the moment. 

“Only if it involves candles and music.” You attempt to force your voice into sounding level, as if you weren’t sickeningly thrilled by the idea of your dinner with Jean being a little more than friendly. 

His head swivels around the room, scanning the small area before emitting a sigh of halfhearted defeat, “Might need a raincheck on that, I don't have any candles.” Jean pauses, thinking for a moment, “Unless you had your heart set on the romantic dinner with candles and music, maybe I can make something work.” He smirked in your direction, true to his usual cheeky self. 

You faced away from him, moving to set your backpack down on the floor by the door, “No candles, no deal.” You pause, practically feeling Connie’s wide eyed stare pointed at your back. 

“That’s not a no to having a more than friendly dinner, now is it?” Jean fires back, smiling in a not so innocent way. Your stomach twisted in knots. He wasn’t wrong. You had intentionally avoided his question, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of yet another person falling for his aggravating charm. 

You shrug a response, giving back another flippant response, “Sure, if it helps you sleep at night to think of it that way.” 

After a moment of silence, Connie’s voice fills the room. “Yeah so, I don’t really know whats going on here, but i’m gonna head out. Sasha is waiting for me with Marco.” He slides on a pair of shoes, grabs a bag and promptly leaves, but not before saying a goodbye, “See ya later Rocky, and Jean, I hope you choke on your food.”

To which, all Jean says is, “Yeah, whatever man.”

You watch him leave quietly, then turn back to face Jean, studying him for a moment. He hasn’t noticed your stares yet,  not when he’s busying himself with pulling out what he needed for this dinner supposedly high rated by Michelin themselves. 

Throughout the past year or so, you had noticed that when Jean was concentrating, he tended to screw up his face a little, eyebrows scrunched in, mouth quirked off to the side, usually whatever was in his hands was being toyed with. But right now, he was different. A content soft smile, and the look in his eyes was gentle. Fond. Domestic. 

“Do you need help with anything?” You asked, feeling the need to do something other than just stand around. 

Jean looked back up at you, bag of frozen broccoli in his hands. “Do you want to make the instant potatoes or the broccoli?” 

You walked to him, and grabbed the bag from him, “Where do you keep your pots and pans?”

“Planning on making this a fancy dinner?” He paused, taking a moment to grab out a small pot for you, and then a lid. “Are you steaming them?”

You set the bag down, then eyed the pot and lid, “Would you happen to have one of those steaming baskets? Or do I need to get creative?”

Jean smiled sheepishly, “I’ve got Connie for a roommate. If I was Niccolo I would definitely have one of those, therefore, you’ll have to get creative. But you’re pretty smart, so I believe in you.”

You nodded slowly. That made sense. Jean and Connie were in the same boat as Sasha, Marco and yourself. If you had done more planning for dinner you probably could have worked something else with Niccolo to borrow his cooking supplies. Though you were sure that the guy would say no, as he was pretty particular about his things. Oh well. You’d have to figure something else. 

The rest of the preparations went fine, and before you knew it, the two of you were sitting at a dingy table that each dorm room had, making small talk over left over chicken and mid-tier potatoes and broccoli. 

“Okay, so I’ll  bite. What’s your deal?” Jean asked suddenly, then his eyes went a little wide as he realized the wording of his question, “I mean! Uh…Well-”

You cut him off, easily able to tell what he meant, “Do you mean why do I have no life and only study and do my work alone?”

He melted under your gaze, before nodding slowly, “I meant it a little nicer though.”

“Its okay, I got what you meant…I think.” You set your fork down, suddenly scrutinizing a small crack in your plate. 

Jean cleared his throat a bit before speaking again, “It’s just that…you spend so much time studying, and it definitely pays off. I’ve heard from Sasha that you have really good grades. But…”

“But?”

“They worry about you. Sasha and Marco that is…and well, I kind of do too. At least, more now that I know you a little better.”

You don’t respond. He’s going somewhere with this. You can tell by the cadence of his voice, how he seems to be picking his words carefully.

“I think that even just in the past few days, you’ve opened  up a lot…I finally got to see you smile.” He paused, “I remember one time last year, in one of our shared classes, I went to see the professor, but you were already there, pleading with him for some extra credit. And when you came out, you look like you had been crying. The next day, I went out of my way to tell you a joke, hoping that maybe you’d smile.”

“I remember that. I told you that I was busy with a make up assignment and ignored you.” You hummed a little, thinking back to Jean back then. His hair was shorter, and he was even more obnoxious that he had been this year. It was one of the few times you had actually spoke to him at the time.

“So…I guess I was just wondering where all this pressure on you comes from?” He fidgets with something in his hands. Like when he’s focusing on his work. You’ve seen it countless times in the past, you just never thought about it until now.

With a sigh, you resign yourself to telling him a little bit about yourself, “I’ve lived here my whole life. And my whole life, I’ve basically been alone. Friends were hard to come by, especially after I decided that all I wanted to do was leave. So, with no one to hold me back, as long as I finish college strong, I can leave and go anywhere I want. I have to do this. Staying here is out of the question…” You trailed off, thinking about how you had never truly said these words out loud. 

“But?” He spoke softly, as if he could tell that you had been battling with yourself on what you truly wanted. He stared at you, not through you as most other people did. Your heart sped up. What were you supposed to say now? You had only started to question your aspirations because of him. And you absolutely would not be sharing that thought now. 

“But nothing. I meant what I said. I’m getting out of this hell and I’m not looking back. Ever.”  you spat the words out, a sudden low and hollow feeling settling in your stomach. What were you doing? A small voice in the back of your head answered that question for you. The same one that you let control most of your college days. You were wasting time, you had assignments to do and a degree to work towards. 

You moved to stand suddenly. “I have to go…I forgot that I’m supposed to meet with Armin tomorrow. I should really make sure that I’m ready to show him my part..and yours too.” You grabbed your backpack, and escaping out into the hall. 

You stood there quietly, chest moving up and down as you took in harsh breaths,  not entirely sure why you did all of that. With a shake of your head you made the journey back to your own dorm, not bothering to take off your shoes at the door like you normally did, instead you merely trudged into your room, tossing your bag onto the ground by your desk, and finding a seat on the edge of your bed. 

“Are you okay?” Your freckled friend spoke up, nearly giving you a heart attack in the process. You hadn’t even noticed that he was home.

You didn’t answer. Instead, tears began to fill your eyes. He was by your side in an instant, arms wrapping around you carefully. Muffled sobs wracked your body. With each one Marco only hugged you a little tighter. He let you cry until you were done. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” The words fell from your lips, and you couldn’t stop what came after them, “This whole time i’ve had one goal; to graduate with soaring grades, and to leave. Make as few friends as possible so that way I wouldn’t get distracted…and so that leaving would be easier.” 

“What changed then?” Marco asked, his voice soft and careful. You got the feeling that he already knew the answer.

“Jean. Jean crashed into my life and ruined my plans. I haven’t even really known him that long and suddenly I’m throwing away school just to hang out with him. I haven’t been studying the same way I used to, instead I’m playing volleyball with him, and he’s holding my hand as we run away. I’m sitting with him by that old tree and thinking about him instead of the words on my papers. I’m cooking with him and thinking about how muchI want to do it all again.” Your words are quiet, but Marco hears them all the same.

“You do know that those don’t have to be bad things, right?” He lets you go, taking a moment to scoot away ever so slightly, making you look up at his face, where a small smile rests, “It’s been nice to see you let loose. And I know that you’ve been enjoying yourself.”

You attempt to frown, “Thats not true.” 

A beat passes and you speak again, “Okay. Maybe a little…but I-”

“No. No buts. You are the hardest working person I know. You are smart and you always apply yourself to your work. You are doing amazing. It’s time that you see that for yourself. You will finish school, and you will be able to go out into the world and do whatever you want to do, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait to have any of that fun. You deserve to enjoy your life, the one right now in the present that you are living, okay?”

His words played on repeat in your mind a few times, you tried to interalize them, make them into your own instead of letting that voice shoo them away. 

“Okay.” You nodded, then brought a hand up to your face, covering your mouth for a moment, “I left Jean.”

“What?”

“We were eating dinner and talking and then I got upset and I just…I just left. “

Marco pursed his lips, nodding slightly as he tried to imagine the scene. Jean sitting alone at his table, probably confused and wondering what he did wrong. “Well…theres only so much you can do about that, which I suggest texting him. Let him know that you’re alright, and just so that the poor guy doesn’t overthink, that he didn’t cause you to run off.”

You nodded, “Right. Okay. I can do that.”

It grew quiet between you and Marco, though it didn’t last very long. There was a light tone in his voice, one he used when he wanted to tease someone without making them aware of it, though you had learned to recognize it fairly well. 

“So, I’m assuming that you like Jean…at least a little bit.”

“Okay. Get off my bed. This moment is over.” You push him gently, facing away from Marco. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Oh would you look at the time? I should really head to bed, okay goodnight Marco, get off my bed.”

He laughed, and did as you said, letting you have the room so you could change, “goodnight lovebird.”

Ignoring him as best as you could, you changed quickly, and crawled right back into your bed, under the safety of your comforter.  Once there, you pulled out your phone, fingers trembling as you brought up the chat with Jean.

You stared at it for a moment. The last messages were from earlier this day. He hadn’t said anything since then. 

Slowly you typed out an apology. “Hey Jean, I’m really sorry for just bailing earlier. Super not cool of me.”

You groaned at the words, quickly backspacing and starting again. “Sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to just leave you there. I promise things are fine. It wasn’t you, or the food for that matter.” 

You hit send, not giving yourself time to overthink the text any longer. 

Fairly quick after your message had been sent, Jean had already replied. “Its okay! You had me worried for a minute there. Thought maybe the food tasted so bad that you just had to leave to get an actual five star dinner.”

He was being courteous. Trying to keep the conversation light as to not scare you off again. 

Your fingers flew across the keyboard once more, “Let me make it up to you. Friday, 11am, at the museum.”

“You really don’t have to make anything up to me, I get it.”

“Jean. Just let me feel bad and try to make it up. Or else I will think about this all night.”

His next message wasn’t exactly what you thought he’d say…or actually, it was exactly what he would say, “Oh, so if I don’t let you have your way, you will be up all night…thinking about me?”

“No.” You hit send. Then sent another message, “Ykw nevermind. I’m not sorry. Be on time friday or else.”

He was quick to shoot back another response, “Okay fine. Make it up to me.”

Then another message, “How do you plan on doing that anyways?”

“You’ll see. Be patient.”

It wasn’t long after that did you eventually fall asleep. The next day was pretty uneventful. Your meeting with Armin was fine, as the guy already had about half of the presentation outline done, and with all of the information and other necessary work that you had gathered, Armin would most likely have the whole thing done by the time he went to bed that night. 

The rest of the day passed quickly, almost too quickly for your liking. Before you knew it, your alarm was going off, signalling that it was ten twenty-five in the morning. 

You had spent some time the day before thinking of how to make up for ditching Jean the other night, and finally settled on an idea. Said idea was currently sitting on your desk, inside a plastic bag. 

You gave it a quick look before climbing out of your bed, moving to your dresser to get ready for the day. 

You had just thrown on your shoes, sparing a glance at your phone to the time. It was eleven. You were going to be late. Of course after all that talk to Jean about being on time, you were going to be running behind this time. You could only imagine what he would have to say about it.

You hurriedly grabbed the bag from your desk, and shoved your phone into you pocket after sending yet another apology to Jean. 

The trip to the museum took about twenty minutes with public transport. It was eleven twenty-three and you had finally made it to the museum doors. 

Jean was standing just to the right of them, staring down at his phone, his back to you. You watched as he brought his phone to his ear, and smiled slightly as your phone buzzed in your pocket. 

You let it ring. Walking up and tapping his shoulder a few times. “Sorry I’m late.”

He spun around, eyes landing on your form. His mouth hung up for a moment before he hung up the phone call, “Is this to get back at me for the other day?”

“No…I just slept past my first alarm.”

“Oh so when you’re late its okay but when I’m late its the worst thing ever.”

You shrugged slightly, “I at least texted you in advance.” You paused, then remembered the bag you were holding, “Oh…um. I got you this. To make up for bailing.”

He eyed the bag suspiciously, “I thought I told you not to worry about it.”

“I worried about it. Now just say thanks and take the bag from me.” You rushed the words out, holding it out to him, “No refunds so you have to keep it.”

His fingers deftly took the plastic handles from you, and reached inside the bag. You watched quietly as he lifted the gift out, eyes softening as he realized what it was. 

“You bought me a new sketchbook?” He hummed a little, looking at the cover for a few moments, “This is a really nice brand too. I’ve always wanted to try it out.”

“Your other one looked a little full the other day…so I figured I could afford a nice one to say that I’m sorry. “

Jean let the sketchbook slide back into the bag, “Well…thank you. I really appreciate this.” He toed something on the ground, eyes unable to find yours. 

You instead took this moment to find the exhibit tickets on your phone, nudging him slightly, “Let’s get going, there’s a couple of pieces I think we should look at specifically.”

Once inside, you took a few moments to study the map of the place, trying to figure out which hall you needed to go to, before Jean took your hand in his, face a little flushed as he did so. 

“I come here pretty often, most of the new exhibits are near the back on the first floor.” He said, pulling you along with him. 

It wasn’t too crowded, and as most museums were, it was quiet. A nice solitude for those who liked to hide away from the world, and find new ones in the art and historical pieces sheltered there.

When the both of you made it to the exhibit, you found that you were the only ones there. Meaning that you could stare at the art as long as you needed. Which you did. Slowly you let Jean’s hand slip from yours.

You hadn’t thought about seeing the art in real life, and how much it would effect you. Entrap you in every single paint stroke, every single carving of marble. It was beautiful. Clearly the story that was assigned to you had meant a lot the various artists. 

You found Jean staring at a drawing. It was mostly in charcoal, though some color had been added here and there, giving the piece whimsical dimension. It looked to be a tree. A large, barren tree in a valley of never ending sand. From the branches, blue and green spilled out across the paper, spanning what would be the sky. 

“You like this one?” You asked with a hush, not wanting to startle him. 

He nodded, “It’s simple, but I just know that the artist put a lot of work into it. Every line is purposeful. And we will never truly know what it means.” He responded, eyes traveling down to the plaque, where it read the piece’s title, “Paths.” With an unnamed author. 

You let him look at the drawing for as long as he needed. You wandered to a sculpture on display a few steps to the right. It seemed to be one of the titans depicted in the story. Creme colored marble in the form of a woman, skeletal mouth open in what the book claimed to be a war cry. There were ribs formed around her abdomen. Her hand outstretched towards the open air. From this perspective, despite the lack of facial features, the statue almost looked sad. A women with an extraordinary ability, forced to use it for harm, all because she was in love with the wrong person. At least, that’s what you wanted to think.  You were sure that others in your class thought the opposite. Which of course was exactly what your analysis was going to focus on. 

You studied it for a few more moments, before looking away, finding Jean now standing across the room, in front of another painting. You moved to stand next to him, looking at what held his attention.

It was of a starry night sky, bathed in dark blues and purples. Underneath, was a lone pig in a field, head faced towards the grass. 

“This is what started the book, right?” You asked, watching as he nodded once.

“But that’s not what i’m thinking about.”

“Then what’s going on in your mind?”

Jean looked back to you, smiling sideways, “Why did you wait the other night, at the field? I figured that you were waiting for a star, but why?”

You brought your eyes back to the painting, looking from the dark green grass, to the pig that was grazing on it peacefully, then to a star painted to be the brightest one there. 

“When I was younger, I used to stand outside, or at my window, and just wait. As soon as I saw the first star of the night, I made a wish on it.” You paused, thinking back on your childhood, “I used to wish for a friend, or someone more than that. I was pretty lonely as a kid. Eventually I started wishing for a future other than that…and then, I stopped wishing. I still would wait for the star, but I made sure that I wasn’t relying on a ball of gas in the sky to make my wishes come true.”

“I’d say that they came true then.” Jean turned his body to face yours, looking down towards you, some thought dancing in his eyes.

You mimicked his motion, allowing yourself to face him fully, “And what makes you say that?”

“You’ve made two whole friends.” 

“I’ve made three.” You corrected him softly, thinking back to your first conversation about it with him, “Sasha and Marco are very nice people who I like a lot.” You state matter of factly.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “And the third? Don’t tell me it’s Floch…or even worse, Eren.”

“Mmm close. It’s you.” 

He places a hand to his heart, dramatic words escaping him, “How long have I waited for you to realize that you and I are friends.”

“You’re still horribly pleasant.” You remark, shaking your head, “Maybe I should take it back about being friends.”

“Too late, you already said it. No refunds.” He drew closer to you, enough to where you could feel his warmth. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Isn’t that technically already a question?” You pause, then nod to him, “But, yeah, go for it.”

“When you graduate, and leave this town. Will you forget about your friends?”

You hesitate. You knew that he wasn’t really asking about Marco or Sasha. You can feel your stomach flip over a few times, that annoying feeling of nervousness that came whenever you thought about Jean.

“No. I wont. How could I?” Your words seem to have some sort of effect on Jean, as he dodesn’t speak. You continue, trying to pick your words carefully, “When it comes to you, specifically you…I would have one hell of a time forgetting you, Jean.”

“I am pretty cool…” He mumbles, then swallows his pride, “But, what if I don’t want you to remember me?” 

You tilt your head to the side, giving him a confused look, but still allowing him to continue.

“I just mean…what if I want to be remembered as not just a friend. As more than that?” 

He locks eyes with you, his face serious as he waits for you to say something, to say anything really. 

You swear that your heart stops beating altogether. It wasn’t one sided. You thought back to your conversation with Marco from two nights before. You deserved this. Deserved to enjoy yourself. To let yourself live a little. 

“I think i’d like that.” You smile warmly, “Because I like you Jean. I tried really hard not to, but I do. And maybe, just maybe I don’t want to look back on college and only remember you as a friend.” You pause, taking in a small breath and willed yourself to finish your thought, “Maybe, after I graduate, we both can look back on the time. Together.”

“So, you don’t want to skip town and never look back?” he asks

“Skip town? Still do, but I can’t afford to ignore my time here.” 

“What if I came with you when you leave.” it’s less of a question, and more of an idea.

“Let’s just get to graduation first, Jean.”

He lets out a breathy laugh, nodding as he does, “Got ahead of myself there. But I have one more question.”

You study him for a moment, just as you had been studying the rest of the art in the museum. “You know, you were only supposed to ask one question anyways.”

“Last one, I promise.” 

“Okay, okay, what is it?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You’re suddenly all too aware of the small gap in your bodies, and his baited breath, and the sensation in your stomach that feels less like churning water and more like butterflies floating around blooming flowers. You hardly hear yourself tell him yes. 

The stiffness leaves Jean’s body, and he brings his hand free from the plastic bag up to your face, cupping your cheek lightly. His hand is warm, but not as warm as your flushed face is. His thumb moves back and forth slightly as he pulls you to him. His lips are soft, and you can feel his lashes flutter against your cheek. You easily find it in you to move in sync with him, allowing yourself to lean into the kiss, a small smile finding its way onto your face. 

He lets you pull away first. And for a moment all the two of you can do is stand there. You’re sure that you could stand there all day with him. 

You let him speak first. 

“So, am I still horrible?”

“Horribly, yet pleasantly charming. Yes.”

[bigshotspambot]

I wanted to do a redraw of the first drawing I posted here… I can’t thank you you all enough for so much love and support :) I guess I’ll just go on about everything here …

TLDR: You’ve all made me so much happier and I appreciate you so much 💕I hope I’ve made you all a bit happier too…! ALSO THANK YOU FOR SPREADING SNEO LOVE !!!! HE LOVES YOU !!!!!

(Also this isn’t the end I just wanted to make a long ass thank you post 😁)

Last year I can’t even describe how self conscious this whole “finding out I had feelings for Sneo” thing made me. I know that it is VERY SILLY to say but it was confusing because I thought I only liked girls. That maybe started to lead to an identity crisis? If that’s the right word?? I also felt really ashamed for some reason, I think I internalized a lot of stuff. I was also horribly paranoid of people I knew finding out I liked this Thing a Non-Normal amount and thinking I was weird for it.

When I made this blog it was a decision I thought about a lot. I eventually went through with it cuz I REALLY wanted to see more x reader content with SNEO, and I was hoping other people wanted that too. So after posting this stuff and seeing people actually liked it, I was filled with both excitement and regret. (Regret because it was embarrassing that anybody saw it) but it was also so exciting because I wanted people to know they weren’t alone in how they felt. For me it’s so validating to know people feel the same (especially about a weird crush lol) and I wanted to spread that :]

I can’t say how much the first asks I got meant to me, especially the supportive ones, they were just so sweet. I could probably go on about this for an unreasonably long time so I’ll try to keep it short- after so much support (and a lot of freaking out) this all eventually helped me accept myself and made me more confident and happy.

It took months though, and it’s still an ongoing process… but I am confident in saying that I’m so, so much happier right now than I was last year :) and it’s because of you!!!

I know this is really cheesy but you guys mean the world to me and you’ve helped me so much, I hope this content has helped you feel more comfortable and understood too 💖I love interacting with you guys. It makes me so happy reading the tags in reblogs, replies, or even seeing the super nice drawings of my Sneo design 🥺 the idea of anybody spending their time to like or reply or even make something for me is just so incredibly kind. The numbers have started to boggle my mind and it’s hard to express how much it means to me, but it genuinely means the world :)

(Again I could go into a lot more detail, but I’m not great with summarizing, and I don’t wanna make this into another horribly long post that goes straight to drafts cuz i couldn’t finish it LOL)

Also one final note FUCK CRINGE CULTURE ‼️CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAAAAADDD GO BE CRINGE AND WEIRD AND CRAZY AND HAVE FUN AND BE PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE YOU CANNOT BE STOPPED‼️‼️ this is the path to enlightenment

[rhaenicented]

𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒.

-𝟏-

i post this story earlier on wp

wp- rhaenicented

tiktok- .rhaenicented

 𝟏𝟐𝟎 𝐀𝐂.

-☆-

𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐄𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑.

Her Grace the the Princess Rhaenyra had birthed a third son, and Astraea approached the bedside, making her presence known. She smiled politely the way she'd been taught by her father, but she could see the grimace of pain and discomfort on the Princess' lips.

"And how, sweet one, did you find your way in here?" Rhaenyra asked, face blotted with sweat.

Astraea tugged at the ends of her hair lightly, shrugging slightly. "Jace is a good hider."

The Targaryen chuckles at the comment despite herself, "Well, you're the first to greet the babe."

"I'm sorry, Your Grace, if I intruded..." the brunette apologizes as she looks away, distracted by the babe.

It had been four years now since her father, Paul Hawthorne, was accepted into the castle as apart of the council, two since her mother had died. She'd been accepted by Rhaenyra's two boys as one of their own, protecting her best they could from Aegon's habitual teasing. Astraea was a shy child. She hardly spoke, it took ages for Jacaerys, Rhaenyra's first son, to usher a word out of her, and it was a simple "um." 

"And what game have you two come up with today?" The Princess wonders. She was used to Jacaerys and Astraea's games, which often involved Lucerys, her second child, and Queen Alicent sons.

"If I manage to find him he'll let me see Vermax." Astraea stared curiously at the babe, who was being swaddled by a wet nurse. An informant walked in, passing along the message the queen had sent about wishing to see the babe, to which the princess defiantly responded to by insisting on bringing the child herself.

"He's enamored with you, sweet thing. He'll do anything you ask of him regardless, though you should start spending time with girls. I fear you'll turn into a duplicate of my sons."

"I like your sons." Astraea sits on the cushion, looking at the princess' face, and wincing at squelching of the afterbirth as the princess dresses herself. "...Are you in terrible pain?"

"The normal amount after childbirth, I'd say," Rhaenyra pulled her dress sleeves up, "though this one came quite easily without...fuss." As the princess took the babe from the wet nurse, Astraea got up to leave.

"I'm never ever having children." She mumbled, turning down the corridor. Rhaenyra laughed, nodding.

"I said just the same thing once, and now I have three beautiful boys. Have you checked the Godswood for him?" The princess limped, a trail of blood behind her, only further fueling Astraea's determination to never bore children.

"Um...no. I shall go there now , then. Although I believe he's gotten quite bored and forgotten all about our game."

Astraea walked through the halls towards the Godswood carefully, checking every shadow for Jacaerys. It was more windy than when the sun was high, and the stone did little to nothing at keeping the draft out. As she walked out into the Godswood, she paused and looked around, sighing.

"Jace? I'm tired of this game, can we do something else?" She called into the open, hoping to the seven he was really here.

"Astraea." She turned around fast, stumbling slightly at the voice behind her.

"You're not Jacaerys."

"How observant." Aemond, who was covered in soot, muttered.

"Are you sad?" She takes a step forward, tilting her head. "If Aegon's putting more nonsense into your head, I assure you none of it's—"

"I fear I'll never claim a dragon," Aemond says, stepping backwards.

"Thats dumb," Astraea smiles at him, "You're practically made for one."

Aemond scowls, not reciprocating the smile. "They gave me a pig."

"What?"

"Jace...and Aegon. Lucerys laughed too." She could tell he was about to cry from the way he'd shifted and lowered his head so she couldn't see.

"Oh...Aemond..." The girl moved closer, putting a hand out to try and touch his shoulder, only to have it slapped away.

"You pity me."

"I was only trying to console you." Astraea furrowed her eyebrows, stepping away.

"I do not know what to make of you yet. You never seem to laugh with them when they belittle me." The boy looked up at her apologetically.

"A friend," Astraea nodded. "And if not that, an ally. I should have you know I'm a wonderful confidant."

"You talk a lot."

"Enough for the both of us." She triumphantly got a tiny smile out of the boy, patting him on the shoulder and wandering back inside to find Jacaerys.

   

   -☆-

"Astraea? Where are you?" Jacaerys' voice ecoed off the walls, calling down the hall. He rounds the corner and finds her walking towards him, a smile spreading on his face.

"Got you." She exclaimed, running towards him.

"No, I saw you first. You didn't find me if I saw you first." Jace ruffled her hair, much to her displeasure.

"Why do you pick on Aemond? He's quite unproblematic, there's no reason to be so hostile." Astraea fixed her hair, raking her hands through it.

"It's just harmless fun, Astraea." He continued down the corridor with her next to him.

"He was upset, therefore harmful." She nudged his arm.

"What do I do, then?"

"Apologize."

"...As you wish, your grace." Jace sarcastically said, sticking out his tongue.

"I'd make a better noble than you."

"The dutiful princess of constellations, her righteous, virtuous, perfect grace." The boy said with a grin, earning a giggle from the girl he'd grown to admire.

Astraea wished this wasn't the last time the Keep would know solace and peace for decades.

But the gods are cruel, after all.

[en-hale]

Lessons In Love ♡‧₊˚

Kim!Sunoo x Park!Sunghoon ♡‧₊˚⋆｡˚ ⋆

En-Hale Comeback ~~ Manifesto Day 11

SYNOPSIS ≕ With their new relationship beginning, the only thing these two want to do is explore each other. But for Sunghoon, being as patient and as careful as possible for his Sunoo is of the utmost importance.

WARNING ≕ Suggestive (using tongue, making out). Read at your own discretion !

WORD COUNT ≕ 8.0k

AUTHOR'S NOTE ≕ THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR THE LONGEST. I was really nervous to post this because I have seen zero member x member (enhypen anyways) stories on here, and I didn't want to be the first lol. This was pretty much just fluff when I first wrote this, but then I went back to revise and turn the knob on the spicy, so please enjoy! (also, let me know if a part 2 would be nice..) Tune in tomorrow for day 12 at 10pm CST!

© to en-hale. no translations/reposts etc. (w/out permission!)

──•°.-ˏˋ ♡ ˊˎ-.°•──

Sunoo knows his life was filled with unimaginable sectors of problems that seemed to make their way out of the woodworks. Whether it was coming quickly or hurdling towards him slowly, Sunoo knows the impact he had to brace for: its suddenness, and without warning.

Any other time stuff like this occurs, It was a ripping of a band-aid and a rush to the bathroom in tears, only on the good days could he hide it behind his puffy cheeks and darling smile. This time, of course, it was the former, but sitting in the same space with other idols didn't leave much room for running and crying.

So Sunoo didn't think of it as a bad thing, he didn't think of it as a reason to make the others worry or to bring about the constant chaos he feels like he always carries. So he plays it out in his mind like seeing a beautiful night sky but only through a picture on your phone and wishing so badly you were there, but it was still nice to see it; he still appreciates that he got the opportunity to bask in its beauty.

Sunghoon was unreachable for the longest time. Sure, he was fun and charismatic and a big ball of clumsy, but behind closed doors, out of the way of cameras, he seemed distant, a bit too quiet, and like he'd rather be anywhere than where he was at that moment. But Sunoo pulled him out of his funk. And it wasn't easy. Sunoo came up with the idea that Sunghoon didn't like to smile unless he had to, He also punctured on the thought that he was too serious for the demeanor and the look that their group was going for.

So Sunoo stepped in and did the best he could. And it worked. Months went by, and soon it was a year later. That same Sunghoon that cooped up in his room was now out and about, taking walks and loved to talk someone's ear off. Sunoo taught him to be patient, to live in the moment, to not take things for granted; and Sunghoon took that to heart.

Sunoo only ever saw Sunghoon as his project to fix, to make him operational enough to become an actual human being and not just some smooth-talking robot. He never thought he would achieve his goal of getting that stoic man to open up and see life as he did, but it worked, it really did.

And now Sunghoon was the best Sunghoon that could've ever lived. He washed away his thought of how life had to be in front of the camera and how he thought he had to act out in public and in front of fans. And with just that short amount of change, Sunghoon saw the way life was like and he loved it and never wanted to go back.

And by then Sunoo thought his mission was complete, there was no need for further night walks and trauma bonding, but by the time he tried to stop, he realized it was the thing he looked forward to the most. And then more months went by and so did his growing admiration for Sunghoon. He didn't ponder much on it cause he didn't believe he had to. He stayed fixed on the notion that Sunghoon was the best big brother that he never had.

And then things appeared to change drastically. The night walks that were only for a few minutes turned to hours. Their conversations seemed to reach a deeper level than Sunoo was willing to admit. He caught himself smiling when the thoughts of Sunghoon drifted through his mind. He realized how badly he wanted to constantly be where Sunghoon was, like a puppy to its owner. And you could've called him crazy, but he felt that Sunghoon wanted to be just as close as he did. Even after their hours spent alone, Sunghoon would suggest they spend the night together in their rooms, waking up the next morning to find the both of them tangled into one another.

And then with no warning, like Sunoo was used to receiving, Sunghoon admitted something to him that came out in a whisper but Sunoo knew he heard correctly. "I like you," and all he could do was blink profusely. And while he was scared to admit it too, he did. Since then, their time together grew increasingly longer than it had already been, Sunoo found it harder not to blush when Sunghoon spoke in interviews or lives, and each morning they found themselves tangled into one another again and again.

Although it seemed picture-perfect, it couldn't be much more than that anywhere they went. Then Sunghoon got the opportunity to be a host, and it was like Sunoo's small flame was being to lose fuel, even growing mad at himself when allegations of Sunghoon and his MC partner were rumored to be dating and he couldn't stop himself from feeling jealous. Even when he knew it was just a rumor, it still struck a chord where it hurt the most.

And that's where his problem lies now.

Bright rays of sunlight escape through the slits that the grand curtains didn't cover. It seems to cascade over Sunghoon like it was written in the stars or something, illuminating the brown highlights in his blonde dyed hair that's swept away from his dark eyes. And he stood on the stage, presenting the different awards with his rumored girlfriend by his side, The light hitting her as well.

Sunoo didn't want to admit it, but she was beautiful, and everything he wasn't. For one, she was a girl, not something that Sunoo ever pondered to be, but he did wish it in his moments with Sunghoon that he'd wake up and magically be one so that the world wouldn't see their love as cruel. She was also tall and slim, her eyes were the perfect almond, her smile was addicting, and her long hair added something to her that Sunoo couldn't put his tongue on, but he knew whatever it was, it caused the adoration for her to reach its pique, and he realized he was correct with how the audience, full of other idols, react when she giggles or makes a mistake. It was like she hypnotized them to laugh with her, to fall for her silly errors and think of it as adorable.

Sunoo fights the urge to gag when the audience cooes at their routine performance, full of touches and hugs and being close in proximity. And it hurt. He watched the person he realized was more than an admiration dance in his perfect outfit with the perfect hair singing with his perfect voice and his perfect smile. The same perfect that Sunoo took credit for making happen, the one thing nobody could take away from him. And yet it didn't matter, cause watching the perfect couple dancing away on the stage took away any contentment that Sunoo felt he had. The only thing he took as a win that day was when it was all over.

He didn't think he was pouting or being distant when they all got back to the dorm. The others hung out in the living room and celebrated, Sunoo found himself fighting the urge to jump in his bed and use his pillow as a tissue and instead felt that sitting at the table as for away as possible would just have to do.

But Ni-Ki is the first one to call him on his bullshit. "We won Sunoo, why are you being mopey?" And the others follow along too, wondering what was with his mood that was usually full of bubbles and laughter. He washes off any sadness that brims to the surface and facades his emotions for the rest of the night.

What good would it do to continue being sad over something so frivolous, Sunoo thought. Sunghoon liked him. That's what he kept repeating in his head. No use being sad over what wasn't or what couldn't be, Sunoo was just happy to continue on his secret rendezvous, he wanted to care less about what others would think.

But it keeps him up all night. What if Sunghoon had said that in the heat of the moment? What if eventually, he'd take back his words? He couldn't help getting sad when he realizes this is one of the very many first nights without Sunghoon. He can't remember his bed being so spacious, since he always complained to Sunghoon that it was too small. The pillow that he left for him was still indented as if waiting for his head to touch it again.

The buzz of his phone shakes him out of his trance only to see the caller ID.

Sunghoon.

He didn't want to answer, he swore in his head he didn't. But he ponders on what Sunghoon could possibly want to talk about at this time of night. Probably nothing different from what they usually talked about at night, but it still made him curious.

So he answers.

Sunoo didn't even get the chance to say hello as Sunghoon speaks first. "You're not sleeping are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"Okay, meet me at our spot." And hung up.

Even if Sunoo is too lazy to get out of bed or too tired to put on clothes, he still does. And he hates that he -- without thinking -- sprays on the perfume that Sunghoon loved, but he has no time to think on it.

With a quick walk down the street, Sunoo arrives at his destination. A quaint little cafe they found hidden behind a larger building. They went every Friday where lattes were fifty percent off, but they usually just shared one, too scared that drinking one alone would cause them to never go to sleep.

When he walks in, his eyes advert to the spot they always sat at, and there he was, as beautiful as ever. Even in only a large jacket and sweatpants, it still caused Sunoo's heart to melt into a gooey mess.

This time, Sunghoon didn't bother getting just one for the both of them, instead, he sips on his drink and has Sunoo's sitting directly across.

When he settled into the booth, they start having their usual conversation.

It's impressive to Sunoo, as someone who usually overthinks, to be with someone like Sunghoon that rarely worried about anything. And when they sit and talk about whatever they could, it occurs to Sunoo that he, once again, worried for no reason. And he tells himself that day and night, not to worry, not to stress, and although it seems easy now, he knows by the next award show when he has to see Sunghoon appear so close to that mesmerizing beauty, the cycle would start all over again.

They talk each other's ears off, having no problem telling one another about anything. After a while, Their drinks are gone, but their mouths are still moving. They're still in conversation when the barista suggests they take it elsewhere as the cafe began to close.

Where they end up taking it, is back to Sunghoon's room, settling on his couch he had begged his manager to get, with waters from his mini-fridge and a throw tucked away on their lower halves to help manage the chills they both got from walking through the cold.

"Ahh, it's so cold," Sunoo's the first to speak, sliding his hands between his legs to warm them up. "Oh, how could it be so cold in the middle of summer?" He fights off the urge to shiver.

"Let me see," Sunghoon's hands reach for Sunoo's and pulls them into his own, using friction from his hot skin to warm the others. He offers a shy smile, the first time tonight that they've touched, not something new, but it still causes the both of their hearts to pound.

Sunoo couldn't hold back the blush that creeps up his cheeks, and he tries his best not to do that giddy smile he always does. It didn't matter how many times Sunghoon touched his hands or arms or legs, it was always like the first time to Sunoo's fragile heart. Even now, he wants to scream in bashfulness and run away until his heart stopped acting weird.

"Can I tell you something?" Sunoo didn't know whether to brace for the worst or the best. Either way, he gives Sunghoon a questioning look and nods slowly.

Sunghoon was hesitant at first, but he opens his mouth to speak. "I wish we would've shared one latte today." His cheeks begin to redden as Sunoo's jaw drops open in surprise.

He can't help but chuckle. "It's okay hyung, we can stay up tonight and watch something!"

"No, it's not that," Sunghoon pulls his hands away out of defeat, but Sunoo catches them in time to slip his fingers into the spaces of the others.

He had no clue what he was doing. If any physical touching was involved between the two of them, it was Sunghoon who initiated. But at that moment, his warm hands had left his and he couldn't bear it.

Now stuck in this act that he can't take back, he thinks of something to say, and quickly. "You can tell me, don't be scared," Sunoo went with the teasing tactic, and oh, how he hopes it works.

Sunghoon gave a lazy huff but speaks. "I always want to share a drink with you, Sunoo,"

And there went that giddy smile Sunoo couldn't hold back, at least he knew his strategy didn't crumble to failure. "Me too."

Sunghoon raised his head to meet Sunoo's gaze and at that moment, he was sure his heart could be heard from underneath his chest.

"Do you really understand what I'm saying?"

"I think I do," the giggle that rises from his throat was unstoppable. In any given situation, Sunoo could count on his shy demeanor spawning out and causing an unwanted laugh.

But Sunghoon laughs too, and it made him feel better.

There was a long pause in the air, Sunghoon lifts himself higher on the couch and turns forward to really meet with Sunoo. "I searched for you in the crowd today," Sunoo couldn't help his eyes going wide at the other's words.

"And when I found you I smiled, only to realize you were looking down, and you were sad. Why?"

Again with a nervous giggle, Sunoo tries to find the right words to say. He didn't mean for Sunghoon to see that. Out of the crowds of idols there, of course, Sunghoon would find him, way in the back. He cursed at Jake in his head for holding up a "We love Sunghoon" poster, the one the member made the night before to tease him.

For one, he was upset, he didn't want Sunghoon worrying while presenting in front of so many people, but on the other hand, he feels adored, reminded that once again, he was so ridiculous for thinking Sunghoon didn't care.

"Oh, it was nothing, I was just hungry." The last thing Sunoo wants to do was to speak about his stupid jealousy of Sunghoon's work partner.

"That's what I thought, but then we ate and you were still upset."

Sunoo didn't realize that the other watched him just as closely as he did. He was lost for words, thinking of anything to come up with.

"Were you upset because of her?" He didn't want to answer, but he thought no answer was still answering.

"No, of course not!" His voice was too high pitch, it came out too rushed. and Sunghoon knows him too well.

"Sunoo, be honest with me."

He takes a long sigh and answers back with half-honesty, still not wanting to worry him, and a bit embarrassed that he even let it get this far.

Sunghoon didn't say anything immediately after and instead sits back in admiration, "So you like me that much that you're jealous?"

Sunoo releases his hands to hit playfully on the other's leg. "Ah, don't say it like that!"

"But is it not true?"

"It is, just don't say it like it's a good thing!" And then they're both caught up in a fit of giggles.

"What I'm trying to say is," Sunghoon manages to contain his composure and sits up to be at Sunoo's height again. "I don't want you to feel like that again. And I think there's a way to get you to never feel like that again,"

And as if on cue, there went Sunoo's heart again, but now it was in his stomach. Anything that could've been anything races through his mind. When Sunghoon inches closer, he thinks of his breath and if his lips were dry or too wet. If Sunghoon was going to kiss him, which he had no problem with, he wants it to be as perfect as ever, like in the movies, like the way he hears stories of other people's first kiss' going.

"My feelings for you are so strong Sunoo, and it'll only grow stronger. I have no idea how to stop them," He reaches for the other's hands and gently glides them into place like they were a second ago.

"Will you let me be yours?"

Sunoo could've screamed, he could've run a marathon, been the fastest to climb mount Everest; that's how much adrenaline was running through his body.

He wonders if he's too pumped he'd wake up and realize it was just a dream. Part of him wishes it was, cause stuff like this was too good to be true.

He knows what he wants to say, but he stays silent and in shock, still surprised that Sunghoon just asked to be his boyfriend. And yes, it was against every policy in the book to date, and part of Sunoo wants to object with that piece of knowledge in his brain but he couldn't.

Instead of words, he lungs toward Sunghoon in an embrace. He wrapped his arms around the other's broad shoulders and he feels hands squeeze around his waist. He didn't mean to cry, but he feels the warm liquids spill down his cheeks.

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes, you punk!" Even in a moment like this, his sarcasm had to have some play in this.

They hug for a long time, longer than Sunoo had intended, but now that Sunghoon was his boyfriend, this was probably the new norm.

After a while, they release from one another and Sunoo wipes at his tears, surprised to see Sunghoon doing the same.

They laugh at each other. "God, I thought you were going to kiss me." Sunoo's tongue slipped, he hadn't meant to be so blunt.

"Oh? You did? I didn't know if you were interested in that or not."

"Oh, I'm interested." Again, his tongue speaks before his brain is ready to.

He's scared when Sunghoon doesn't say anything back, anticipating that the other was interested too. Sunghoon meets Sunoo's and something is different in this stare, like he was analyzing. He feels the way his gaze moved from his eyes to his face, making contact with his cheeks that had to be a deep crimson at this point, to his temples to his nose, and then to his lips, which he didn't mean to suck into his mouth.

He wants Sunghoon to be his first kiss, and he can remember the moment when he realized he did. And now that they were dating, it was pretty much written in the stars.

"Okay." It was too straightforward, too relaxed. Sunoo was freaking out and of course, Sunghoon has to be as easygoing as possible.

"But not right now."

"Ah," Sunoo slumps back on the couch, wanting to crawl into a ball at how badly he wants to kiss the other in this moment.

"Hey," Sunghoon reaches out to pull him back up by the shoulder. "You big crybaby. I want to kiss you right now, you have no idea. But this will be your first, so I don't want it to be locked up in my room."

His boyfriend, Sunoo's boyfriend, just said he wants to kiss him. This is no new information, but it ran through Sunoo's head at an alarming rate. He had no problem gushing out his stupid ear-to-ear smile.

"How about this," Sunghoon starts. Sunoo watches his thought process until the other begin to speak them, "Let me take you on our first date so that I can give you the best experience possible."

Sunoo feels his blush not only on his cheek but on his back and flowing throughout his body. Their first date as boyfriends, he couldn't even contain himself at this point.

"Okay," He speaks back.

Sunghoon beams down at his new partner. "Okay."

********

Sunghoon arranges their date a few evenings later since their week had been full of press conferences and fan-meets. Sunghoon's manager didn't even look twice when Sunghoon had suggested that only he and Sunoo go out to eat. Now they were on their way to a high-end restaurant with both of them trying not to laugh in the back.

It was hard to contain his excitement for the evening knowing what he and Sunoo would do that night in the back of his head. And while it might've seemed silly to be so giddy about an ordinary kiss, it kept him up at nights thinking about the way the other's lips would feel on his. He could only compare the younger's lips to light pink marshmallows. The kind you'd like to play with cause they're so soft and mushy. He wanted to skip the dinner and head straight for his next plan, but he knows he has to be patient, for Sunoo's sake.

His manager escorts them inside and sits away in another location of the restaurant at Sunghoon's request. Sunoo chooses a booth the furthest away from the small collections of other families there. He wants to be able to have a relaxed conversation with the older one without others peeping into their discussions.

Just like Sunghoon, Sunoo was a mix of nerves and giggles. He couldn't stop his brain from wavering into the thoughts of kissing his new boyfriend, and it drives him crazy throughout the week. If you asked him now what they've been doing for the past few days, he'd have no answer. it was like he was living in a daze until he could finally be alone with his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Sunoo still couldn't believe it. He was Sunghoon's and Sunghoon was his. Of course, after a moment like this, his giddy smile almost never seemed to leave his face. Now the others were curious as to why he was so god damn happy all the time. But he knew why, and so did the other when he realizes his smile has changed too. Into something he'd never think he'd smile for, but in front of him sits his adorable boyfriend, his Sunoonie, whom he'd get to kiss, and it still causes a train-wreck through his brain.

"Mmm, we were right to order the bibimbap." Sunoo beams.

"Mm-hm, it's amazing. But it's not too spicy for you is it?"

Sunoo shakes his head and takes a large bite of the rice dish causing a bit of a spill from his mouth. With embarrassment, he covers it with one hand and gives the other a thumbs up. "It's delicious," he muffled.

He reaches for a napkin but the older one already has it in hand. He has no problem removing Sunoo's hand and wiping it himself. He feels a blush creeping up his neck at the sight of the younger's shocked expression. Seconds later, they're giggling at one another.

"So, do you mind if I shift our conversation into something more intimate? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable yet."

Both their blushes are indeed there.

Sunoo goes to sip his water to cool his heated face. "Okay."

"And feel free to ask me anything too. I want us to have open conversations." He lets Sunoo finish sipping his water and taking another small bite of food before leaning forwards and asking, "Have you ever been in a relationship?"

Sunoo continues to chew his food even as his eyes go wide. He looks around, scared that Sunghoon's manager would walk up to them at any moment. He knows Sunghoon said intimate but he thought it was work-related or something else. He still forgets that there is something deeper than that when it comes to Sunghoon even if he can't stop the word "boyfriend" from playing like an addicting song.

"Don't answer if it's not comfortable-"

"No! It's okay," Sunoo interrupts. He watches down at his hands that were fiddling with one another in his lap. "I've never been in a relationship before. Unless you count kindergarten, but I can't remember back that far." And they both laugh.

Sunghoon sees that very second of shame that crosses Sunoo's face. He usually plays it off with something teasing or silly to say, but Sunghoon wants Sunoo to know there was nothing wrong with it, In fact, he was overcome with joy at the thought of being Sunoo's first real relationship. But he didn't like to think of it as his first, as if there would be another, so he thought of it as Sunoo's first (and crossing his fingers, last) real relationship.

"And have you kissed anyone before?"

"Ah, Hyung, you know I haven't," Sunoo whines, ending in a pout. The older laughs at his adorable droopy mouth.

"Sorry, just teasing," But the real reason he asked is that even though he couldn't stop the thoughts of kissing him, he worries that maybe Sunoo would backtrack, and he wants to make sure the younger one was as comfortable as possible.

"But you still want to --" his voice drops low, "kiss me, right?"

Sunoo nods firmly, almost accidentally choking on his food and coughing.

"I just wanted to make sure. I don't want you to be uncomfortable with anything, okay? We'll go at your pace, as fast or as slow as we need."

"Ah, hyung, stop it or I'll never stop blushing!" and Sunoo wasn't wrong. The older one loves looking at his tinted ears and his lips that grow a deeper red, the same lips he'd get to feel with his own tonight.

"Okay, okay I'll stop." and they went back to normal conversation until Sunoo himself got a bit curious. With a large gulp of his water, he began to ask, "So, how many people have you kissed? Or, um, been in a relationship with?"

Sunghoon wonders if his answer would be just as embarrassing as the younger's. Sure, this wasn't his first rodeo, but it wasn't necessarily his second or third either. But he didn't want to scare Sunoo with his numbers, and he didn't want to feel guilty either that he let someone else besides the love of his life take all of his firsts.

Sunghoon responds with a kind smile before speaking, "I'd say it was a few people I've kissed. Nothing significant, just when I was a crazy and irresponsible teenager before this life. So maybe nine or ten? There was only one real relationship I've been in and the other one wasn't as serious. But if you add them, that would be about twelve-ish people I've kissed."

He watches Sunoo's expressional face change from panic to calm as he speaks. Panic at the number of people he had kissed, calm when it was only one serious relationship.

And as best he tried not to be, Sunoo was a bit panicked. Twelve-ish people versus his zero? How could this ever be a good experience for Sunghoon? He finds it embarrassing at first, but now he was praising himself that he stayed up an extra three hours after their dance practice to watch "how to kiss" videos. He thought he might wing it, but he knew he just wasn't that type of person. He did what almost all the videos had suggested; practice on your hand. But until the real thing comes, he was still lost in the woods.

Sunghoon watches Sunoo's demeanor and waits for it to calm before asking the next question. "Have you labeled yourself sexuality-wise?"

Sunoo thought for a moment. He has thought of labels, but the whole debacle of labeling gave his mind whiplash, so he didn't like to ponder on it for too long. If anything, and as he had come to find out, he wasn't straight, and he knew that for a while, even if he didn't want to admit it. But he thought back to past crushes and realized he's never really had one. He thought girls were pretty and guys were handsome, that's just how his brain saw it. Sunghoon was literally his first in everything, even crushes.

"I'm not sure. I don't like thinking about it, but I know I'm not straight." and they both can't hold back explosive laughter. They look around to see if anyone was watching, but others were carrying on their own conversations. Sunoo continues, "You were my -- first crush and so, until then, I haven't given it much thought. For now, I think I could fall in love with anyone if I thought we had a connection. How about you? Have you thought about it?"

There's a pause from Sunghoon as he considers the question, then he locks eyes with his younger boyfriend and says with no hesitation, "I'm almost positive I'm bi, but like you, I guess I haven't given it much thought. But my first kiss was with a guy, by accident, but I still remember blushing like crazy and that's when I knew I at least wanted to kiss a guy again. After that, I experimented with both genders. Half those number of kisses were with guys from my school."

Sunoo cocks his head in curiosity, and Sunghoon couldn't help how happy he was at how comfortable the two of them were together. Like peas in a pod.

"I'm interested in hearing your first kiss story."

"Ah, no, no it's so embarrassing."

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad!"

"No, it was honestly the worst." And they carry on into a truly relaxing conversation, still answering questions about one another that leads to even more interesting talks. Eventually, Sunghoon's manager comes around, exhausted that they had sat an extra hour after finishing their food, and begs to leave.

They got in the car and ride with comfortable silence and jaunty music from the radio. Sunoo wasn't paying much attention since he was still on cloud 9 from their previous convos, but he did grow curious when twenty minutes later, they were still riding in the car.

"Hyung, shouldn't we be home by now?"

"Just wait," and he did. A few minutes later, their manager pulls up to a small little condo-style house.

Sunghoon loves watching the confused expression on his boyfriend's face. He couldn't wait to show him what else he has to offer inside.

They walk in, with Sunoo behind like a scared kid, into an alluring modern decorated condo, with greeting cards that awaited their arrival.

"Surprise!" Sunghoon shouts, spooking Sunoo a bit.

"I told you I didn't want your first to be locked in my room! So I rented out a condo for two hours."

And it happens again, Sunoo's awfully repetitive ear-to-ear smile. He looks around at the small interior of the house, very beautifully decorated with a large couch and bar stools that sat along with the kitchen island.

Ecstatic was an understatement for the way he feels with Sunghoon's big surprise. He did wonder in the car how they could possibly be alone even for a short amount of time before the members came to bother them on where they were. He thought they would both huddle in a bathroom for about thirty seconds, kiss, and call it a night, or maybe Sunghoon would wait until way later in the morning to kiss him while they laid and cuddled each other awake, like usual.

And while his excitement brewed to the surface, he did cling to Sunghoon's last few words.

He blinked a few times before speaking, "Two hours? Why do we need two hours?"

Sunghoon watches that familiar blush creep up Sunoo's face, and for a minute he wants to tease that they wouldn't just kiss once, even if that's what he wanted, but he didn't know if his boyfriend was ready for that, no matter how frivolous it seemed.

"It's not just for that, it's to also talk and stuff, but I guess we did most of that at the restaurant." His initial idea was that they'd eat for about an hour and head straight to the condo, but their conversations were getting too good for Sunghoon to just stop it in the middle. Now he couldn't even stop his blush when he realize that they did have another two hours to be alone, and he didn't have many more questions to ask.

"Ah," Sunoo replies.

The older leads them both to the couch where the owners had left small goodies and snacks. Sunoo slips right beside Sunghoon, their entire sides basically touching one another.

Sunghoon's the first to grab at the small pastry, his heart beginning to pound even when he knows what this was all for.

Sunoo can't manage to reach for anything, scared that he'll get a crumb or something stuck in his teeth, or his breath would smell bad. He remembers quietly sliding two mints and a piece of gum into his mouth during the drive, he didn't want to ruin this.

"Do you want one?" Sunghoon says with a full mouth. The other shakes his head.

"I'm okay, still full from earlier."

And Sunghoon nods with understanding. The same silence that had overcome them in the car happened now, but it was different, still comfortable, but a little tense.

And Sunghoon was the first to break the deafening silence after a minute passed by. "Are you nervous?" He asks hesitantly. He watches Sunoo process his question before replying, "No, not really. But it is a little too quiet in here isn't it?" and they both give half-hearted laughs.

He finishes his snack and turned towards Sunoo. "Well, I'm a little nervous."

"Why? I thought you've said you've already done this before."

Sunghoon huffs at Sunoo while the younger one giggles.

"You're so funny, aren't you?"

"I'd like to think I am." and there went back their relaxing environment. They had a few more exchanges before Sunghoon decides to stop beating around the bush. "So kissing." He says, and Sunoo giggles with nerves. He doesn't finish his sentence because the two of them can't stop their nervous laughter.

"Yes, kissing," Sunoo replied back, jokingly.

Their silliness starts to dial down as Sunghoon twists to face Sunoo more properly, His heart had faltered to his feet, but he didn't want his confidence to lack, so he pushes through the blush.

But it wasn't like Sunoo was able to hold on any better. His heart spikes when he realizes how close they were in proximity. He tries not to look down too often at Sunghoon's glossy lips, but it was hard.

"And you're still okay with this right?" He felt he asked too many times, but he never wanted to be wrong about where they both were.

Sunoo does his enthusiastic nod again, the same one he gave Sunghoon in the restaurant.

"Yes Hyung, I still want to kiss you. Really badly." and there went the older's heart, ready to rip from his chest if Sunoo were to say one more endearing comment.

Sunoo didn't mean to sound so impatient, especially when Sunghoon was trying to do the exact opposite, but he was ready. He couldn't even care anymore about his entire body plastered with heat, he just wants to kiss his boyfriend, and kiss him now.

"Should I lead or do you want to?"

"There's such a thing as that?" He didn't remember that in the videos he watched.

"Well, kind of. It's just who's going to lean in first."

Sunoo nods understandingly but just wavered for Sunghoon to do it.

And so he does.

Remember those times in life when Sunoo was given no warning? Well, this was one of those times -- again. Even when he knows that kissing would take place, his eyes grow wider than they were supposed to when the older's lips touch his. He finds it incredibly hard to close his eyes, instead, he was so focused on looking down at their lips that were touching, that he almost forgot to kiss back, the most important part of it all.

The first encounter of their glossy lips was gentle and warm. Sunghoon was worried when the other didn't kiss back. He was ready to pull back until he felt the younger one moving against his. And it was tiny movements, but enough to know that he didn't do something wrong.

Sunoo knows his lips were shaking, and he couldn't stop it. He feels them shake even more violently when the older one gently grabs his chin and tilts it into the correct position. They kiss like this for a while until it's not only his lips that are shaking but his entire body.

"Sorry," Sunoo says, taking a deep breath as they unlock their lips.

Sunghoon looked down at him, worried. "Are you okay? Was that okay?"

"Yes, yes, that was great. I just can't stop shaking." They both give nervous chuckles. Sunghoon's only suggestion was to grab his boyfriend's hands and squeeze them tightly.

"I don't want you to be nervous. I mean I was, but now, since I've got to kiss you, I feel better."

All Sunoo can do is smile. He has been wanting to kiss the older one for he couldn't even know how long now. It was finally that time, and he didn't want to let nerves get in the way.

"Can we try again?" Sunghoon's smile was the only thing Sunoo needed for approval.

Again, their lips met, and this time, Sunoo basked in their softness and how slippery they were. He moved more confidently, he felt the older one respond with even more force and Sunoo sighed out in pleasure.

Sunghoon loved the way the younger boy's lips felt, exactly how he thought they would. He remembers back during a night with the other members when his boyfriend had complained that his lips were too small, but Sunghoon begged to differ.

Their kiss was warm and gentle. Eventually, their hands un-laced so that Sunghoon could replace one back on Sunoo's chin. Seconds later, the only thing that could be heard was the smacking of their lips, and their breathing that grew increasingly heavier.

Sunghoon manages to call the other's name in between the space of their kisses. The other responds in a hum. He had no idea what he was doing, but the only thing he knew is that he wanted the kiss to go further, deeper, so he slipped his tongue along the seam of Sunoo's lips, causing a slight pitchy squeal out of him.

He pulled back and watched Sunoo's expression and his fiery cheeks. "Is that okay? We don't have to, I was just suggesting it."

Sunoo nods and takes no time to place his lips back on Sunghoon's again.

He had no idea what he was really doing, he only ever watched, "how to kiss" videos, not, "how to make-out" videos which he now wished he would've done. He didn't think they'd be in a position like this where it grew to more than just a kiss, but when Sunghoon had pulled away, Sunoo couldn't stand it, he needed the older one back on him. So he initiated whatever this tongue thing Sunghoon had tried and was shocked when the older one slipped his mouth open at his request, the request he didn't even know he was making.

But it's good. No, better yet, amazing.

Sunghoon feels the slickness of the other's tongue, and it drives him wild. He strokes against it and at one point sucks on it, causing a slight groan out of the other.

He can't contain his grin.

He deepens the kiss to its furthest depth, opening his mouth fully and pushing softly on the back of the younger's head to urge him in. Soon their twisting and turning tongues with one another, creating a mix of their saliva that Sunghoon feels could spill at any moment from how dire it was.

Sunoo was so caught in this moment, still not a hundred percent on what he was doing or even if it felt good to Sunghoon, but his excitement had reached its climax, and now there was no going back. He sucked in the older's tongue and couldn't stop the here and there groans from escaping. He left his hands to himself since he didn't know where else to put them, but they flung on their own to hyung's neck, gripping and pulling at his skin. He could tell he was running out of breath but he fights that heated urge, not wanting to let go.

Sunghoon feels it too, that growing desire to breathe, but breathing meant that he wouldn't be kissing Sunoo, and he didn't want that. But he was getting lost in the kiss, he was getting nervous that this was turning into something more than what it was initially supposed to be, and he definitely knows it was when Sunoo grabs his hand and places them on his waist, his intoxicating small waist that Sunghoon was driven crazy about.

So he did what he feels he needs to do, and cups Sunoo's cheek before pulling back with a gasp for air. Sunghoon watches as the younger tries chasing his mouth, causing a stir of emotions to rise in his belly, and as much as he wanted to let him, he wonders if things would've gone too far with no return.

He wasn't ready for that. Yet.

And as much as Sunoo wants more, he knew he was definitely not ready for that, not yet, at least.

"Wow, that was a lot."

"Yeah," Sunoo's voice slurs as if he was drunk. Sunghoon likes the way his eyes glossed over with desire, begging for more, and if Sunghoon wasn't in his right mind, he'd do exactly that, give him more. But he knows better than to let temptation take over, he knows in another moment, when they both plan for it, that more could come and be ten times as exuberating.

Sunoo's heart leaps at the look on Sunghoon's face, something he couldn't pinpoint and a look he's never seen before. He worried he came on too strong or that he stepped out of the boundary that Sunghoon had so carefully sewn.

"Was it too much?"

Sunghoon gives a precious grin, hurling himself into Sunoo's arms, squeezing tightly, "No, it was perfect."

Sunoo's locked in the older's grasp and all he can do is his usual mechanism; giggle.

"Is it over now? Was that all?"

"I think that's where we should stop for now."

Sunghoon saw the younger's pout and knew whatever he was about to ask, he'd say yes.

"One more." He stated boldly and Sunghoon, of course, answered yes, only this time instead of meeting his lips he tilts the younger's head to the side and places fluttery kisses on his pearly skin.

Sunoo gasps in surprise. He tries pushing the older away, complaining that it tickled, but once Sunghoon finds his neck, his giggles turn to soft groans. It felt better than he expected.

He saw neck kisses as something he'd be rather annoyed by, but at this moment, he wants nothing more than for Sunghoon lips to never stop sucking and kissing on his skin.

Eventually, they went into a cycle of kissing each other's necks and finding other places where it feels good; their ears, forehead, hands.

Sunoo likes that they had two very different sides. One intimate and the other playful. He wonders how they went from kissing one another to him swatting off Sunghoon's tickling hands on his sides. An hour later, they're tangled into one another like usual. They play footies while going over their busy schedules and eventually they trace each other's hands like a child to a drawing.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." Sunghoon didn't mean to break their lively mood, but it was what he had wished for the most, that work and everything would just stop so he could spend it with his boyfriend forever.

Sunoo placed his boyfriend's hand on his cheek, marinating in its warmth. "Gosh, I didn't know I had that effect on you,"

And there went Sunghoon's hands tickling Sunoo's sides for his sly remark. "Yah! I was trying to have a moment!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I never want this to end either." And this time he looks up and the other above him and smiles.

Sunghoon looks down at his incredible boyfriend and smiles for the umpteenth time that day. He took in his perfect brown eyes and his perfect hair. His perfect smile, and the way he never wanted it to stop. He did a once over of the younger and noticed a small but dark bruise forming on the nape of his neck. Maybe he was a little over-enthusiastic. He reaches for it to see how it feels, and Sunoo winced.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so rough."

"It's okay, I liked it -- a lot." Sunghoon's stomach swirls with butterflies. He had to break eye contact or else that desire he was pushing down might travel its way back up.

This was new territory for Sunoo. After all, that was his first kiss, but he liked seeing Sunghoon panicked, he knew he wanted to do it more if this was the reaction he'd get.

"Noted." This time, Sunoo's nerves were the ones that spiked. If Sunghoon's manager hadn't called him to let them know their time was up, He was sure they'd be in another heated make-out.

They untangle from one another and fix themselves. Sunoo always carries around a small bag of makeup, and good thing he had as he pats on the hickey that Sunghoon had spotted. Sure, he was a bit worried that Sunghoon's manager would see it, or worst, the other members, but Sunoo, deep down, couldn't wait for the next one, or even for when he got to do it to his boyfriend.

"Sunoo?" Sunghoon called out, seconds before he opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Maybe --" he hesitates before speaking again. "When we kiss again --"

Sunoo watches as Sunghoon lowers his head, anticipating all that he would say.

"We can do it shirtless next time." The words feel rushed escaping his mouth, but there was no need to repeat himself when he received the blank expression from the younger.

Sunoo didn't know what he'd say, but definitely not that. Sure he wouldn't mind seeing the older's chiseled chest, but the thought made his heart ache, in a good way.

Sunghoon smirks and walks out, leaving the door open for the shocked Sunoo.

In due time. Sunghoon thought. In due time.

[wolame-o-ccx]

High&Low character dynamics I greatly enjoy

( but canonically they don't exist/have enough screen time/something along those lines )

Had this in my drafts for a while but took a while in getting around to actually posting it.

1 - Rocky + Hyuga

I'm throwing out the fact I ship them away from this analysis so it's like a more general thing.

Vague + indifferent is so interesting and not a popular trope but it works, and it works with them. It's also how they're so different and yet so similar at the same time. Had they become friends, I think they'd both try and sort of uncover things about each other, Hyuga because Rocky is mysterious in general and he isn't usually curious, but he is about Rocky and Rocky because Hyuga is just interesting (crazy) to him. They would have this dynamic where they're sort of mature? Around each other? If that makes sense IDK. They're serious, but casual at the same time.

When they're together, here'd be some kind of warm silence and it's quiet but not because they dont know how to talk to each other, but because they're simply comfortable with each other, like they trust each other.

Rocky accepts Hyuga's insanity (or passion, he calls it) and Hyuga enjoys Rocky's mellow sort of demeanor and finds comfort in him that way.

2 - Cobra + Rocky/Hyuga/Murayama

Cobra has touched all three of their lives some way or another. With Rocky, he was persistent and helped out in fighting against Doubt. Rocky must've gained a large amount of trust in Cobra after that. He even tells Cobra that he appreciated his help, and when does Rocky ever really compliment people, especially men? With Hyuga, I think he would think Cobra is tough and likes how stubborn he is and he respects that. After everything he's seen and experienced, he probably respects Cobra himself on a different level, and maybe even trusts him. And Murayama, we all know the story. Cobra made Murayama question and find himself. In the end, Murayama went to Cobra to talk after deciding that, oh, I'm done with fighting. I'm tired and I need to talk to a friend. I could honestly write a whole novel about them and I can understand why people ship them (though I don't myself). It's also the way all three of these guys were so worried about Cobra when he went missing and how they were looking for him so restlessly. Who needs therapy when you have Cobra?

3 - Hyuga + Murayama

I'm aware of them being a ship, and I somewhat enjoy it because I can see and understand why although I still prefer them platonically.

They're what you expect would be a loud duo, but they're not (not exactly) and it's interesting. Like, they'd totally bicker with one another and have dumb arguments and call each other stupid like siblings, but I also think they'd have those quiet moments where they're genuinely talking about serious stuff. Cobra had changed their perspectives in things they had problems with, Murayama and his immaturity (?) and Hyuga with his thirst for revenge, both ending up moving on from that and changing their views. I can see them casually hanging out and catching up with each other and giving each other life advice (yes, life advice from Hyuga, believe it or not) while simultaneously berating each other. They have a fun dynamic to think about and honestly wished they explored more on them because they're really interesting and equally complex.

4 - Hyuga + Sakyo + Ukyo + Kato

God Daruma makes me so UGH. These four are so silly. They're like.. genuinely such great friends I don't know how else to put it. I want them to have more screen time but I know I'll never get it. I can't put into words just how great of friends they are because they're so perfect, like, they're just.. great friends. They are so extremely loyal to each other and dedicated to each other that they make me want to explode into a million pieces. How even after “exacting their revenge on former Mugen members” mission, they stuck together because they found this sort of family with each other.

5 - Koo + SMG

I've seen the very miniscule part of the fandom somewhere talking about how Koo is like SMG’s mom and I love the idea so much 😭 just Koo taking care of these four guys like they're his kids. I like to think in DTC Rocky and Koo packed the lollipops they ate in the movie as if they were parents packing their kids’ lunch bags. I DONT KNOW ITS SO CUTE. SMG probably causes a lot of trouble for Koo so they'd kill anyone for him and Koo is just naturally protective, but especially for SMG.

[liminsendhelp]

Don't pet the flea cat

Price×f!reader

Tags: slight description of reader (chubby, muscular, strong, denying gender as a concept), possibly slightly sociopathic/autistic reader, profanity, denial of authority, evil scientist on the way to becoming.

tags and warns are the same as in the last post, srry, I don't have time to make it more civilized and readable

Enjoy

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

The draft work plan, as well as the topic, was approved a week ago. Dr. Moon didn't see fit to announce it for fear of your reaction. It was a smart move on her part. You'd just push the paperwork, which was wrong, too. After all, what could tell you more about the changing mental and physical state of the fighters than the fighters themselves?

Dr. Moon looked at you menacingly again in the morning. This night you lay down at 4 a.m., knowing you'd be up in two hours so you could intercept your test subjects early.

No interceptions. Dr. Moon smugly tells you that she's already hammered out an agreement for you to meet in person with their chief.

You actively pretend it doesn't bother you. Neither his agreement, nor her interference. Nor the fact that the situation is completely out of control.

Kudos on your paranoia and your irrepressible desire for adventure. You're prepared.

You had nowhere to start your investigation and no time at all. So at night, you tried to accomplish another feat. For the sake of experimentation with the local idiots could be socialized.

Going out for a smoke at three in the morning, you pretended that you couldn't light your lighter. You hoped that at the opposite wall your acting was taken for granted. The recruits on duty, watching you especially hard that night, pulled cigarettes out of their ugly mouths as you got closer.

I wonder if they've killed before or if they're just getting used to blood?

"Got a light?"

The soldier silently held out his hand with a lighter to your cigarette. You responded with a precisely calculated amount of gratitude in a smile so he wouldn't think you were flirting.

You took a couple puffs under their harsh stares. Your neck was starting to itch from the extra attention. You need to finish before you start blushing.

"Can you tell me who I was rude to today?"

"No."

You nod. Okay.

You stand in silence until halfway through your cigarette.

"Captain Price." Another voice. Slightly higher and calmer than the first. "You can automatically add to it a list of those who sat at the table with him."

"And the rest of his wives."

"What?"

Idiotic. Don't get me started, they wouldn't understand anyway.

You sigh, letting the smoke burn your throat before letting it out.

"In my defense, I apologized immediately."

"And still just as rude. You've been sheltered here. We have our rules on our turf."

You look him clearly in the eye for the first time all evening.

"We didn't ask. We were put on the spot, just like your management. That's one. Second, the territory here is not yours, it's theirs. Save your moralizing and lecturing, okay?"

You clamp the smoldering cigarette in your teeth, leaving your hands free. You're not yelling, judging by your tone you're just making conversation.

"I didn't do anything wrong, I even came to make up with you, even though you had nothing to do with the situation at all. So don't get worked up, lady."

The calmest of them all squeezes the shoulder of the guy breathing aggressively in your direction. Nice.

You throw the cigarette butt in the trash can and smile at the soldiers the way you smile at successful death jokes. As you walk away, you don't turn around, feeling your legs grow lighter with each passing second.

The unquenched thirst for the fight they've stirred up in you scrapes beneath your skin.

You do push-ups, squats, standing planks, wanking, brushing your teeth while you wash, and finally expel the unstoppable energy inside you. Closing your eyes you know that tomorrow you'll hate your decision to sleep in rather than spend two hours looking for information.

So at seven in the morning, Dr. Moon looks at your drained face with disapproval, and you stare at your laptop screen with annoyance.

There's no information on this Price guy.

Not even a Facebook page, not even a snippet in some archived newspaper.

You don't have access to local records yet, and--

You have to drink your coffee and take the first flight to the gym.

You think back to your high school days, standing here, behind the Captain's back while he lifts weights.

You're sure he must have sensed your presence, as long-serving military men often do.

But, since he decided to call you here (which by the way, caused you a lot of questions), you'll stare.

"Be polite. First impressions, dear. I beg of you, don't scare them off. The fact that you've been given a chance is already a huge breakthrough." Dr. Moon spoke. All day yesterday, before going out today.

But they already thought you were a stranger, didn't they? They've already seen the obvious fact that you don't fit into the narrow confines of the norm. So why try?

The muscles in his back were encased in a long-sleeved sweatshirt, his legs in loose athletic shorts pulling the fabric taut as he squatted with the barbell on his broad shoulders.

God, is that monster pumping his ass?

You snicker as he finishes his approaches. He catches your shameless stare in the mirror-you have nothing to hide. Let him not think you're better than you are.

His smirk lifts the neat bush on his face called a beard. He looks like a walrus.

You picture him in the shoes of that poor guy from 'Tusk' as the Captain wipes the sweat from his face with a towel.

"You're not in the database. I mean in yours, the institute's. You know about that?"

You don't answer, continuing to watch him walk. He reaches for the water bottle, apparently leaving you room to respond. You reluctantly take his offering.

"I cut myself out of it."

"Hacker, huh?" He grins skeptically.

His demeanor only triples your opinion of his treatment of you as entertainment. You bite your lip from the inside out, chewing on a piece of skin a little harder to taste the tang of blood.

"Can't find you either."

"Have you gotten to ours yet?"

"Negative, Captain." Blue eyes sparkle approvingly.

"Talked to someone, though. Good. I wouldn't have hoped so, given your performance the day before yesterday."

You remain calm. Expectedly, you need to settle things definitively now.

"I don't like the attention. I get nervous, I get creative. I find it easier to talk to work, not people." A little acting, a little honesty, a little understatement. He probably won't dig any deeper.

You step away from the wall, handing him a thin folder. There are literally two sheets in it, one of which is the cover page.

"A more detailed work plan, if you agree. I understand you'll be here for a couple more weeks." He pulls away from the text and looks into your eyes with a mute question. Even though he likes your idea, he's still deeply unconvinced of you himself. You flip to the first page and point your finger to the bottom corner. Right under Dr. Moon's signature.

"Yours?"

"Name, yes."

That's the payoff. A little information about you in exchange for your cooperation. Never mind that he could have gotten your name just by asking the guys who let you into the base a couple months ago. Or even easier, by approaching Dr. Moon directly, she wasn't exactly hiding, all loud and stern and friendly.

But, now that you've told him the name like that, like you're apologizing... He's gonna go along with this project, right?

"How's it gonna go down?"

Oh, yeah, like a sweetheart.

It's not going exactly as expected. You had hoped that, after yesterday's brainstorming session with Dr. Moon, where she criticized you to the hilt, your work wouldn't be questionable for at least some of the required research points. But, you argue while you walk to the shower, argue while he washes, argue through the locker room door.

You're easily obsessed. Work in particular.

And when someone tries to cut your already flawed work list down to two items, you can't stop. All calm goes to hell.

Although, it's worth noting that the Captain's not as hard-headed as you'd expect. It's like he's genuinely interested in getting results.

Why, then, is he trying to take the tool away from you?

You've been sitting in his office for an hour. You've finally gotten the real reason out of him for refusing certain interviews, certain data from the archive, and the amount of time to talk to you.

If you give in to him, you'll be left with two days of interviews, unable to observe his fighters or communicate with them outside of the interview on the officially approved form. Moreover, he's not willing to give you access to official paperwork other than medical records for the last seven years.

And you're not willing to do that. You're not a fortune teller. You can't take information off the top of your head. You're already conceding on your own, unable to verify everyone's word on a polygraph, and unlikely to be able to get videotapes of their interactions over the years within the walls of the base. For all that, you're delineated by geographic boundaries. Both facilities and countries.

And so, you can be lied to, miscommunicated, kept out, overlooked, disregarded, uncooperative, not tolerated for more than two days, and even with all of that....

"What do you mean they won't let you talk?"

"He won't, your max is his medical records. And that, he's cleaning up his information too."

Okay. Minus one. Whoever this Ghost-guy is. It's all the same.

"I need three days for an interview. I'm willing to chase you and your boys all over the place, But I need more time." You watch him scratch his chin. "Tell me who I don't need to approach and..."

"You won't believe this, missy, they're not exactly sociable either. It's easier to name the ones who won't be stressed by your meddling. Two days will be more than enough."

It was starting to smell like shit.

"How many."

"Five."

No yelling. No emotion. He's just probing you. Putting a price on you.

"Okay. Five people then, but a day each."

He whistles. His eyes sparkle like he's watching a lumbering animal. In that shitty uniform of his and his gleeful confidence. Santa fucker on steroids.

"Or, you give me three days and a group of fifteen men."

"What makes you think that..."

"Oh, I roughly understand how this works. You have a core squad and those who are on the backup. You can keep my head, but leave the tails. I need more data." Toward the end of your sentence, you speed up, biting your tongue to keep from saying too much.

"Ten."

"We're not in the bazaar."

The wrinkles in the corners of his eyes smooth out a little.

"And I'm not haggling. Ten fighters. Two days."

Fucker.

"Okay, what about the archives?"

"Nothing. You're not getting them."

"Put a watcher on me! Have someone control what I look at and what I report."

"There's no such person, missy. They're all busy."

"One day. I don't have to eat, I don't have to get out of my seat. Just the paperwork."

"Do you think a watcher can do that too?"

"I thought the military are supermen, sir, aren't they?" You say it so seriously that he's almost ready to start answering the question. Instead, he relaxes again, letting out a chesty chuckle.

"You'll need more days. At least one to organize all that pile of information."

"I'm a child of the internet. It'll all fall into place in my head."

"Still."

Price is looking at it, pricing it. You can hear the hands of the clock on his desk ticking. Your gut feeling is that it's about 9:00 in the morning. Give or take an hour, over your argument you weren't really keeping track of time.

"I'll give you three days. But from five to seven in the morning and maybe in the evening. With a condition."

"All ears."

What does he want? For you to do a backflip?

"You'll be eating in the common room this week."

"That's..."

"It's a prerequisite. If you're working with me, it's not appropriate for you to chase your mentor to carry your own food."

"It's not a matter of business. Don't think I'm going to consider it extra time for data collection. I'm not going to talk to them while they're eating. Suddenly they'll choke and I'll be charged with state treason."

"That's not the point. You want this to work out, don't you? Then don't separate yourself from them. They'll tell you more, and they'll give me less to think about. You come with me after morning at the archives, sit at the same table with us, explain to the guys what this is all about. If they agree to cooperate on their own, I won't interfere."

It sounded reasonable, actually. But you couldn't escape the feeling that he was just bossing you around.

"Coming with you so the other soldiers can smother me with a pillow out of jealousy?"

"I go to training from seven to eight. Suppose I took the little scientist under my mighty wing, eh? Besides, that's the way it is so far."

"Thinking of killing my sleep, then my body, and then my soul while I try to talk to your sharks?"

"I'm considered a worse shark than they are, and you're doing a great job so far."

You clench your fists under the table, bite your cheek, lean back, rub your face, and sigh. The blue of his stupid eyes hover on the back of your eyelids.

"You look like a walrus." You quietly bleat into your palms on your face. He laughs.

[lxmiko]

stumbling confessions with mysta rias . . .

— ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ—

okay so i might’ve accidentally posted my draft instead of saving it and then consequently couldn’t turn it back into a draft so here’s a screenshot of the request :D, also @liykaii (just so you see this too !!) sorry for the confusion if anyone saw me post that ^^;;

also, i wrote this more shy and awkward!mysta instead of tsundere!mysta, cause i personally don’t see him as such ;; hope that’s okay !

character(s): mysta rias

— *✧･ﾟ: * —

mysta likes you so, so much.

but he hates how much it makes him a klutz around you. he hates the tremor in his voice and the way his hands shake when he sees you, that he’s always at a loss of words, and that he’s so awkward and shy, and it’s so infuriating —

— but he likes you so, so much.

and he wants to tell you so, so badly.

it’s at your planned hangout (though mysta calls it a date in his head) that he decides it’s time as he stands in front of the corner bakery (that sells mysta’s favorite chocolate cake, as much as he’s allergic to it).

he shifts his weight from side to side, too focused on hiding the quivering of his hands behind his back to notice the strangers sending him concerned looks as they pass.

he’s so goddamn nervous, and everytime he looks left and right, he can’t tell if he’s going to be afraid or excited to see you pop from around a corner with that pretty smile of yours.

but he’s ready, he thinks, and he might as well have had a speech prepared with how long he stayed up last night worrying, but every thought flies out of his head the moment he spots you walking down the sidewalk, scanning the area for him.

the way your eyes light up when they meet his makes his heart stutter, and he can feel the sunshine radiating from you as you make your way toward him.

“mysta — ” you start, but in a hurry, he interrupts you.

“ — i have something to tell you.”

he notes the way your eyes grow wide before your gaze softens, and you, after his little nod of permission, gently grasp his hands in yours. you murmur, “well?”

this is it, he tries with a jumbled mind to convince himself. just say it.

mysta parts his lips to speak, mind filled with too many words and none of them coming out as you laugh softly at him. “you don’t have to tell me now, you know?” you swing your intertwined hands between the two of you a little. “whatever it is you wanted to say.”

he shakes his head fervently, “n — no, i want to say it…” his voice quiets down to a whisper as he continues, but you still are close enough to hear his mutters anyway.

“go on,” you encourage him patiently, but alas, he tells himself, i’m not ready. he scolds himself. of course he isn’t with the way his hands shake in yours and can’t get even a single word out.

“i — ” he begins, but he never finishes, “ —nevermind,” his form slumps as he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. you smile at him anyway when he leans his head onto your shoulder and run a hand through the grey-brown strands. “sorry,” the apology is muffled into your skin as he sighs, but you continue your ministrations without pause.

you whisper loud enough so he can hear, and you feel his body relaxing with every word. “that’s okay,” he hums when your nails graze lightly against his scalp. “take as long as you need.”

mysta is someone of many words (whether they made sense when he babbled them or not), but today, he isn’t. he needs time, and you didn’t mind.

you’ll wait for him forever, through thick and thin and anything the two of you might encounter;

through every last one of his stumbling confessions, you’ll wait and like him back just as much as you did from the first.

and you know he’d do the same for you.

— ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ—

the amount of brain power it took to write this is actually insane, i think my brain needs a break after this one ;; but i managed to post it earlier this week since @mimi-mystake (my beta reader) proofread for me hehe ^^ thank you very much mimi muah <33

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

This probably isn't the space to do this but as someone who likes your blog and is choosing to part ways with hotd fandom, and you do discuss the "team discourse' and thought I'd leave this here. I'm done with this show and fandom.

The amount of if you like team (insert) here you are morally bankrupt is so...frustrating on its own. But the fact that the entire fandom cannot seem to not compare fiction to real life tragedies and horrors on this level, the bullying, the callout posts, Valaryian being used a sneaky way to be racists towards nettles, laena and laenor, white feminism being promoted and normalized so aggressively, the homophobia laenor faces from both teams, how you cannot claim both teams are bad without being accused of deflecting or preached to about one team not being as bad as the other, you cannot critique any Targaryen's unless come out lyanna or alicent's impure bloodline.

Not to mention how stans come for you throat if you mention daemyra isn't healthy or Daemyra/daemon make you uncomfortable.

This adaptation is too season 7 of GoT to be worth this much trouble. But tbh, as I announce my exit like a cringy karen, I just hope Ewan, Tom and Phia's media hate doesn't effect their careers because they are some of the best talent in the show to do what they did with so little given to them to work with; And to any blacks wanting to come into the notes proud there bullied a green out the fandom. I can't wait for Jon Snow to choose his sisters and end the targ line in the unreleased books spoilers that will leak after grrm dies. And i hope the f&b 2 draft is on the same shelf as the WoW.

Nooooooo, this made me really sad :(

I had two lines of thought reading this. First I'm really bummed out you feel that way, it's always a shame when we lose normal, (normal isn't an insult in this fandom lol), interesting, great people in the fandom. It seems like people who just want to interact with media and enjoy something that's suppose to be fun (fandom) always end up leaving and the worst people always tend to stay and get venerated in this fandom for just being awful. I'm really sorry to see you go!.

At the same time, I completely understand your frustration and feelings. I don't know why but the ASOIAF/GOT/HOTD fandom has a real problem with attracting honestly just really vile individuals. I want to blame it on this being a fandom that has been waiting for over a decade but I even at times feel embarrassed that my favorite book series is one *those* people claim to *love* as well. (By those people I mean what you reference - individuals who use this fandom to spout to the most vile racist, sexist, homophobic, overall weird ass takes).

It can become too much. Especially when fandom is supposed to be fun, hell even GRRM himself subtly pointed out how fandom seems to be ran by anti fans now who make fandom just not a fun place to be in. Ultimately the issues in the fandom you mentioned are very real and nothing minor. I would encourage you to put your health, safety, and happiness first. I recently took a small break, and if you ever want to come back I promise there are corners of the fandom that are for lack of a better word normal.

I don't think you're being a Karen, lol. It's fair to be frustrated with everything you mentioned. I don't think you have to worry on that end, the cast of HOTD live extremely fantastic lives compared to those who sit around hating on them lol. They will be just fine and they're talented individuals. I deeply encourage you to step back from this fandom, let go of that team idea, I know it's very pervasive in the HOTD fandom, but really it's not real, lol. People just really like tribalism on both ends and want to feel important in one way or another.

IJBOL, not gonna lie the little digs thrown in at the end before you head out made me laugh!. Unfortunately I disagree with you on that end I really like Daenerys and I hope she lives a long life. LMAO and I hope I get to see more books from GRRM but I understand you might not be feeling the nicest right now LOL. Stay strong friend. I know this fandom sucks, but don't let it discourage you from enjoying what you like.

[thepixelelf]

Hi! I've really been enjoying oby and I'd like to ask a question about it if that's ok? As I was reading, I thought about the amount of planning that must go into it. How do you go about planning a long series like that or any fic in general? Do you sit down and plan them or is it more of a you start off with an idea and it develops as it goes? I'm curious because I know whenever I'm doing art, I'll maybe have the vaguest sketch but then the final piece is completely different ahaha. I enjoy learning how other people think, sorry about the random question haha

I love this question!

Fun fact, the initial idea for Oh Baby, You came to me while I was in Taiwan in May/June 2022, about 11 months before the masterlist was finally posted! At the time, I was stuck in a govt mandated covid hotel with my mom for 10 days and unemployed (the best combination for fic ideas to brew). I made all the fake twt profiles in that hotel room, drafted a basic plot summary (like the one on the masterlist), and then let the wip sit for many months.

I was actually pretty scared to try and tackle something like oby-- it's got relatively heavy themes for something like an smau, and I don't exactly have a great record with completing series, but the level of support and love oby has received really helped!! I feel so lucky to have you awesome readers 💕

As for my planning process, it's actually quite simple! I basically start out with keystone moments-- sometimes I write them down, but sometimes I just keep them in mind. For instance, the oby list (in my mind, not in writing) looked a little something like this:

You took Mingyu's scandal baby, resulting in Jihoon misunderstanding the situation and making Wonwoo cut you out of his life

3 years later, Wonwoo moves back and into the apartment across the hall on the same day as Orion's bday party

CEO Cheol sees you at Mingyu's house and starts to suspect you and Mingyu are Orion's parents

Cheol starts going on "dates" with you, and you feel happy and liked in a romantic sense for the first time in years

Confrontation at the concert where everything comes to light

(more but I'm not spoiling <3)

You can probably tell, but I didn't exactly stick to this plan!! While I do have keystone moments in mind, I usually let my character's lead the way. However I think they'd react to a situation, I let them, even if it messes my timeline up a little. Sometimes this leads to things taking a lot longer than I expect, and sometimes actually makes readers hate characters that I think are justified (to an extent) lol

Anyways, I basically write every chapter the night before, always with the next keystone moment in mind, and the overall plot too.

I don't know if you've ever read or plan to read my tbz smau Hood, but that ended up being 100+ parts, and took over a year for me to write (with a couple breaks). Still, I always knew how it was going to end, I just needed to guide my characters there!

I do kind of the same thing with long written fics, just without the whole one chapter per week thing

I hope this answered your curiosities :] feel free to ask me any other questions 💕

[albedosarmpit]

albedos slip up (frostarm Lawachurl x Albedo)

(wanted to write albedo being manhandled but figured lawachurls rearranging his insides is just manhandling but a little bit more extreme, this does get a little silly i think idk i just want to ruin albedo i couldnt care less)

warnings: noncon, monster fucking, crying, 

when Albedo is jerking off or experiencing pleasure he tends to forget everything, become blind to everything except that feeling and the thing causing that feeling. Albedo thought he had found somewhere safe to jerk off, climbing dragonspire is a long and annoying road even with the amount of camps he has scattered around. he couldnt take it anymore, the tent in his pants, that feeling of his cock throbbing and wanted to be free was teasing for him. So, as anyone would he goes to an old Hilichurl camp, completely abandoned by everything. he took a seat on the cold ground sitting on a batch of snow with what appeared to be 3 stones sticking out and began jerking off, his breath visible each time he panted. albedo pulled his shirt up as his moans began echoing throughout dragonspire as he came all over himself. he sat there like that and looked at the sky, trying to catch his breath as the cold air attacked his lungs. 

albedo tried to calm down as he looked down at the ground, he didnt realize this before but as his vision went clearer the stones beneath him werent stones, the texture was more like a horn than anything else, albedos breaths grew heavier as he was instantly picked up by a heavy hand wrapped around his torso ripping some of his clothes as he was moved and face-face with a frostarm-lawachurl.

the lawachurl breathed out, using its other hand and its claw to carefully cut open Albedos pants, exposing his flaccid cock. Albedo tried to wiggle out of the Lawachurls grasp but he couldnt, tears began to fill his eyes as he couldnt call for his weapon, he was stuck here, he was suppose to meet with sucrose later but now he didnt even know if he would be alive to see her. Tears fell down Albedos face as the Lawachurl moved him, down to his monster cock. 

Lawachurls cocks are weird. they have different appearences based on the element, Frostarm Lawachurls were the thickest of them all, using the thickness as a way for warmth. the cock was the same color as its skin, with a deep dark blue tip.

Albedo began to yell out as he was lowered onto it, taking the tip first causing himself to get hard as his prostate was hit by this monster, the Lawachurls grasp began to loosen and instead the Lawachurl put a finger on both of Albedos shoulders, the strength of which were insane, if you had tried to resist the raw power of them you would be the one to get injured. Albedo knew this and was forced to submit, cumming instantly as he was forced down onto the cock, the cum covering the Lawachurls thumb as he moved it and put it infront of albedos mouth, forcing him to take it and taste his mess, Albedo unintentionally bit it but even that was too weak for the Lawachurl to even react to it.

(ENDING IT HERE SORRY WILL DO MORE OF THIS LATER MAYBE- IDK HOW TO DRAFT POSTS SO YEAH- hope you liked it im sorry if my writing was bad i just like ranting and not reading over it-) if you have any ideas or requests feel free to ask me!!