#this show is so entertaining. i expected it to be boring. its fuckin weird and i Like It

[littlespoonevan]

i think you’ve done one before where ian and mickey run into trevor? but i’d love another one like that. or caleb. or kash. or literally anyone from the earlier seasons (could even be an old school mate who we don’t know!) and who has a shocked reaction that they are still together/married.

anon said:prompt: ian and mickey introducing each other as husbands at a group event scenario

so because i combined two prompts here, have two blasts from the past!! (though idk who’s gonna be happy to see caleb lmao hopefully the 2nd guest makes up for it) i hope u like it!!! :D

*

Mickey loosens his tie as he scans the room, idlywondering when exactly he’ll stop putting himself in uncomfortable socialsituations for Ian’s sake. Then again, Ian walking towards him in his fancyblazer with the top few buttons of his shirt undone and a bottle of beer ineither hand is a very particular fantasy he’s enjoying right now.

“How’re you holding up?” Ian asks, handing one of thebeers off to Mickey and sliding his free arm around Mickey’s waist. It’s prettyfucking ridiculous how quickly it makes Mickey relax but he figures he marriedIan for a reason.

When Ian had first told him about the benefit all theSouth Side emergency services were holding to raise money for a new hospitalwing Mickey had thought it sounded like his own personal version of hell. Buthe’d realised pretty quickly it was also Ian’s personal version of hell so he’dagreed to go.

Now that he’s here he’s gotta admit it’s not so bad.The charming, confident persona Ian used to wear back when he’d drag Mickey toafter-club parties back in the day seems come back to his husband easily enoughwith Ian flashing everyone hundred-watt smiles and schmoozing with thehigher-ups. There have been a few moments where Mickey’s felt uncomfortablestanding next to him but only because of his total lack of understanding aboutall the medical bullshit everyone is spewing rather than him actually feelinglike he’s being excluded from the conversation.

Plus, he can’t help the way he inwardly preens everytime Ian introduces him as his husband.

“’m surviving,” Mickey tells him, leaning into Ian’sside. “This place’s got good beer.”

“Its one saving grace,” Ian jokes, dropping a kiss onMickey’s temple. “Sorry, I know you’re probably bored. Just another hour or twoand we can hit the Alibi.”

The last thing Mickey wants to do is stay out evenlonger when Ian’s standing next to him looking like he does but he hums in acquiescenceanyway. Not like Ian’ll be complaining later on.

“It’s fine, man, I get it,” Mickey says, turning intoIan so they’re facing each other and putting his free hand on Ian’s hip. “You’restill on probation and it’s a fuckin’ miracle your old job even took you back.You need to stay here and act like employee of the month – I know the deal.”

Ian’s beaming at him by the time he’s finishedtalking and Mickey clears his throat, aware his ears are probably turning red.

“You’re the best,” Ian tells him, the words half lostto Mickey’s mouth as he darts in to kiss him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mickey huffs when he pulls away, tryingnot to act as flustered as he feels. “You can show me how much you appreciateme later.”

Ian’s smile turns devilish and he uses the arm aroundMickey’s waist to draw him in closer. “Oh, I plan to.”

Mickey’s just about to incite a game of chicken whenIan suddenly freezes and Mickey raises his gaze from Ian’s mouth to his eyes.Turning to look over his shoulder he attempts to follow Ian’s gaze but there’stoo many unrecognisable faces around for him to tell who Ian’s looking at.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, squeezing Ian’s hip to gethis attention.

Ian blinks, looking back to Mickey with an expressionthat’s some weird mix of panicked, apologetic and determined. “My ex is overthere.”

Mickey whips around again to look before he remembershe has no clue what Ian’s ex even looks like. “The firefighter?” he guesses.

Ian nods, offering him a tight smile. “Caleb,” hesays. “It’s fine, I don’t think he saw me.”

Which is probably the stupidest fucking thing Iancould’ve said because, of course, five seconds later someone’s calling out adisbelieving, “Ian Gallagher?”

Ian plasters a fake smile on his face and Mickeytakes a moment to pray for patience before he turns around to eye up the guymaking his way towards them. He’s attractive, in that clean-cut all-American way.He looks like the very definition of normal which Mickey knows just translatesto boring in Ian’s brain.

Ian had told him a little about him when they’dtalked shit through in prison. Said he’d been Ian’s attempt at a “normal”relationship that didn’t require all that much emotional effort because he’dpretty much been trying to haul himself out of a depressive episode when they’dmet. He’d also admitted he’d been trying to shove Mickey out of his mind at thetime which had hurt but he gets it, he thinks. God knows, he’d tried to drinkIan away in Mexico. It doesn’t hurt all that much now with Ian’s arm around himand Ian’s ring on his finger.

“Hey Caleb,” Ian greets half-heartedly when Calebreaches them and Mickey takes a drink of his beer to hide his laugh. It’s astark contrast to the enthusiastic friendliness Ian’s been sporting all night.

“How’ve you been?” Caleb asks, all earnestness thatMickey doesn’t trust for a second. “It’s been what? Nearly four years?”

“Yeah, I guess about that,” Ian agrees, voicecompletely neutral. “I’ve been good. I’m-“ he pauses and looks down at Mickeywith a smile that makes his knees weak. “Well, I’m married now,” Ian  says proudly, arm tightening around Mickey. “Thisis my husband, Mickey.”

Caleb’s mouth drops open in shock as his eyes flashto Mickey and Mickey immediately feels himself puffing up his chest. He’s readyfor whatever bullshit this fucker tries to throw at him.

“Wow,” Caleb splutters after a beat. “Congratulations.I- you’re his ex, Mickey, right?”

Mickey clears his throat and rubs at his eyebrow,pointedly using his left hand so he can show off his rings. “Not exactly his exanymore.”

“Right!” Caleb says quickly. “Sorry. You get what Imean, just- you two were broken up before.”

“Yeah, almost the biggest fucking mistake of my life,”Ian cuts in and he’s over-exaggerating a little for Caleb’s sake but Mickey canstill tell he means it. “No way am I letting him go again.” He directs the lastpart to Mickey and Mickey can only hold his gaze for a couple of seconds beforehe has to look away, throat feeling thick with emotion.

Caleb looks at a complete loss for words and Mickeyfeels privately vindicated. Yeah, gocrawl back to whatever hole in the past you came from, he thinksmutinously.

“That’s um- I’m glad you’re so happy,” Caleb says finallyand Mickey’s just narrowing his eyes to try and figure out if he means it whenhe hears another familiar voice calling his name.

“MickeyMilkovich?”

And Christ, Mickey never thought he’d ever be happyto hear a fucking cop calling hisname.

He promptly turns away from Caleb, hearing Ian’sexcuse of, “Sorry, an old friend,” before he turns with him and then they’reboth standing face to face with Tony fucking Markovich.

“Don’t tell me you’re a cop now,” Tony jokes andMickey had not expected him to lookso happy to see him.

“I don’t think they let ex-cons join the force,” hesays, blinking in surprise when Tony only laughs. Huffing an unsure laugh ofhis own, he nods in Ian’s direction. “Nah, I’m only here for Ian.”

“He’s my arm candy,” Ian cuts in, moving his arm fromMickey’s waist to drape it around his neck.

Mickey rolls his eyes but watches Tony carefully forhis reaction.

“Glad to hear you two worked shit out,” Tony says,looking painfully sincere, and since when the fuck did Tony the cop know theywere even together? “I was always rooting for you two.”

“I’ve got him locked down all official now,” Ianboasts, flashing his ring proudly at Tony.

“No way!” Tony exclaims, grin becoming impossiblywider. “That’s amazing, congrats! Let me get you two a beer later, consider ita belated wedding gift.”

Ian barks out a laugh beside him and Mickey is soconfused right now. “Hey, how’s your boyfriend?” Ian asks then. And what thefuck?

“We’re living together now,” Tony admits sheepishlyand before Mickey can stop himself he blurts out, “You’re gay?”

Tony laughs, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, Ian hadthe same reaction when he discovered that little revelation a few years ago.”

“It’s Fiona’s fault,” Ian tells him conspiratoriallyand Mickey finds a laugh bubbling out of him unexpectedly.

“Dan’s around here somewhere,” Tony says, craning hisneck to scan the room. “Hey, how about I find him and we get that drink? I haveto hear the proposal story.”

“You sure?” Mickey scoffs. “It’s a long one.”

“Eh these things are always boring anyway,” Tonyshrugs, gesturing to the banquet hall at large. “It’ll keep me entertained forthe night.”

Ian snorts beside him and waves Tony away. “Go findDan. We’ll meet you at the bar.”

Tony nods before taking his leave and Mickeyimmediately twists to face Ian once he’s gone. “What the fuck just happened?”

Ian barks out a laugh, depositing his beer bottle ona nearby table to wrap both his arms around Mickey. “The cop that you used toterrorise as a teenager just saved you from an awkward encounter with my ex.That’s what happened.”

Mickey shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ve had a lotof fuckin’ weird social interactions when you’ve dragged me to this kinda shitbut that has to be the weirdest.”

Ian laughs again, hugging him close and pressing hislips to Mickey’s forehead. “Just accept the free beer and remember it’sprobably good for us to have a friend who’s a cop.”

“A gayfriend who’s a cop, apparently,” Mickey scoffs, leaning his forehead againstIan’s shoulder a moment later. “Tony better not cheap out on the beer.”

Ian rubs his hand across Mickey’s shoulder blades, breathinghim in. “Pretty sure he’s on better pay than both of us so I think we’re good.”

“Come on,” Ian says then, catching Mickey’s hands anddragging in the direction of the bar. “I’ll buy you a shot of tequila first tocalm you down.”

“I can think of something else that’d calm me down,”Mickey says pointedly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom and raising hiseyebrows.

Ian halts, sizing him up for a moment and Mickeyknows he’s won before Ian even opens his mouth.

“Tony won’t miss us for a couple of minutes, right?”

Mickey grins, triumphant, and begins towing Ian inthe opposite direction.

He could get used to these benefit things.

*

[enigma-im]

Kindle Unlimited Recommendation

Dark Planet Warriors Series

Warning: Gore, violence, some situation of wrongful touching

Summary:

8 stories. The series begins with a bug infestation on the mining station outside of earth. A species called Kordolians are there to be the exterminators. After a meeting with a strange human our primary story kicks off while the bug story plays in background in some stories while being the main focus for several books. The consistent story for the other 8 books is a romance between the aliens and humans that results in a war for purity.

Person thoughts:

Great fuckin series. Almost every book has a different couple with only the very first couple being the focus several other times. First book is fantastic, especially the first sex scene. Its so good. The next few focus on the bug infestation till its dealt with then it gets back to the war. Don't skip them though, Riker is a treat that deserves to be acknowledged. My favorite one of this amazing series is Infinity's Embrace. That book has some dope characters. Electric Heart is my least favorite because it's like a real bad Watch Dogs (video game).

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Dark Planet Warriors

Dark planet Falling

Into the Light

Out of Darkness

Forged in Shadow

Infinity's Embrace

Electric Heart

Brilliant Starlight

Office Alien Series

Warning: Awkwardness, drug use, kidnapping (kind of)

Summary:

Three books about an office relationship with three different aliens. Each alien goes through the venture of courting a human woman. All of them succeed on confusing then educating these people on their culture. All the aliens come from the same planet that has been ravaged by a tough alien species that try to wipe them out with their superior technology. That isn't a plot point, its just an explanation. Each story shows the struggles of cultural differences and how education and understanding can help make the world a better place.

Person thoughts:

I adore this series. One book in this series actually got a perfect score from me, which is strange cause I'm a tough grader. The first book has a super awkward lad who just seems to hate everyone. Its really cute and I like them both though their relationship is filled with cringe. The second book I didn't much care for. The main love dude was kind of an idiot and was too blinded by acceptance to be a reasonable thinking alien. Still decent but Its not my cup of tea. The last one- sweet jesus- was amazing. It has a ‘my cousin Vinny’ vibe with their relationship where they fight often but its like their form of foreplay. So good. There is another series that’s super short that takes place 1 year later for each story. Totally worth a read after you read the series.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

The E.T. Guy

The New Guy

The Security Guy

(Christmas special)

Kraving Khiva

Warning: Sex workers, forced prostitution, abuse

Summary:

Eve is a virgin who is fed up with it. After her father's death she has been ghosting by in life with her best friend. After said friend points out a brothel of some interesting aliens she decides to give the place a try to finally rid herself of her virginity. After just one night she keeps coming back, falling for the sex worker. Romance ensues with lots of strife and abuse to keep the two from their HEA.

Personal Thoughts:

Man, this story represents everything I love in a story. Tons of fluff. It was a really good slow burn that I didn’t expect from a story about a prostitute. The cover gives the illusion of a typical middle aged mother romance - which I guess it is- but it has so much more. I only had one problem with the story, the ending. I felt they could have given more information but they just glossed over it. Besides that, hot book. The second one is really boring, just a slice of life that I couldn't get into.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Kraving Khiva

Prince of Firestone

The Queen's Ransom

Warning: Near death situations, a lot of near death situations, gore

Summary:

432 pages. Long book. Jalia enters into a competition to win a great prize. The interest of great fortune is too much for her to pass up. Little does she know the treachery the competition hides or the actual prize. The king of Minotaurs is hosting an event to test the strength, endurance, and intelligence of potential wives. In a culture that values strength they refuse to accept a queen who hasn't been tried. Genius Jalia goes through challenge after challenge, nearly dying about every chapter while catching the attention of a charming king.

Personal Thoughts:

I generally don't have the patience for long books but this one never dragged on. Every chapter was captivating and riveting. The challenges were interesting and Jalia's solutions were pretty genius. The relationship between the king and her is pretty grand, I adore them greatly. My only problem with the book is all the potty humor and insults. She was a genius but her insults left much to be desired. Once her biggest annoyance is no longer in the picture does that kind of stuff end.

Rating: 9/10

Book:

The Queen's Ransom

The Kraken

Warning: Gore, racism, attempts of suicide(only 1 book), sassy AI

Summary:

A mysterious creature has lived in the ocean long ago, since the beginning of the settlement on this planet. After a nearly drowning woman is saved a series kicks off. Each book has a different relationship of humans and Krakens. Every book tells the story of how the krakens go from living in isolation at the bottom of the ocean to breeding with humans.

Personal thoughts:

When I first read this story I was just getting into monster romance. The love interests have fairly human tops but hella tentacle bottoms. So I was a little off-put by it but as I read on I didn’t care. The first one is pretty good for a start. The second one was decent, I didn’t really care for it. I actually skipped the 3rd one my first go around. Which is fine, it doesn't add too much and its short. Its still worth a read. The 4th one, fucking grand. 5th one? My all time favorite of the series! If you don't want to read them all at least read the 5th one. Like ask me for story details and I'll give you a cliff note for what's mentioned in that story then you can read in peace. 6th was ok, love the sassy AI. I didn't read the 7th one. Its two old people and I just can't

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Treasure Abyss

Jewel of the Sea

Hunter of the Tide

Heart of the Deep

Rising from the Depth

Fallen from the Stars

Lover from the Waves

Escaping Wonderland

Warning: Sexual assault, gore, lots of sexual stuff

Summary:

Alice is wrongfully placed in a psych ward that specializes in simulation therapy. She is placed in a pod then taken to the world of wonderland. This twisted version of the children's classic introduces a rapey mad hater and manipulative Red King. The main love interest is a playful lad who has more control of the simulation than most. The two run from the clutches of the Red King while trying to escape the simulation.

Personal thoughts:

I had very low hopes for this story. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. It was a twist on the beloved movie and book. Everything was rapey and creepy and I weirdly loved it. Of course nothing too terrible happened to the main lady so it made those situations more tolerable but only just. I adore the main dude, shadow. He was a playful little mischief maker and I would die for him. What made this book better for me was when everything hit the fan they didn't rid him of his sassy personality. Most books make the cocky, silly, playful personality as something that is bad and needs to change. This one they didn’t and kept it. So good.

Rating: 9/10

Books:

Escaping Wonderland

Infinity City

Warning: Abuse, gore, sexual assault, dope ass fighting

Summary:

A city where criminals are more in control than most people think. Each book takes the reader through different adventure of different people. All having the similarity of protecting the ones they love. The first is of an assassin protecting the only woman who has made him feel so strongly. The second is with a mob boss hacker who grows fond of a shy human. The third is the second in command of the mob boss hacker who finds a pregnant woman in a menagerie and discovers she is his mate. Fourth is one of the workers of the mob boss's security team who gets taken by some slavers along with a woman he was entertaining for the night.

Personal thoughts:

First book sucked. He was obsessives and pretty much took all her choices. It wasn't till the end that he was like "my bad, you can leave if you want". Bleh. Second book was fan-fucking-tastic. Arc is a charming idiot with an amazing backstory. I didn't like the girl in the beginning but she grew on me. I love that he focuses on her but still pays attention to work and his 'family'. The third was surprisingly good. I generally don't like stories where someone is pregnant because they get boring. This one was not that. She was never a hindrance or weak, she was a badass. With her big kitty man they made an amazing duo. Also any scenes with her man and the baby made me tear up. He was so sweet. Fourth was boring, it reminds me too much of a lot of other stories.

Rating: 8/10

Books:

Silent lucidity

Shielded hearts

Untamed Hunger

Savage Desire

------------------------------------------

While people watch TV or Youtube in their free time, I read. I have such a weird organization with everything i read because i tend to reread stories and forget i read them. the entire time i read it im like “have i read this before?”. so for books i write them down, rate them, then review them. i didn’t post the reviews here because it would be so many spoilers. Also i sort my favorite fanfics by fandom then relationship. i read so fucking much, its a problem at this point.

If you liked this recommendation drop a like, reblog, or reply. i will perhaps do another if you all like this. i have read so many books and i can post some decent ones and some god awful ones. perhaps you all can tell me how wrong my thoughts are on the ones i deem terrible. i think we will probably agree, ‘free’ books tend to have lower standards.

[weirdochick56]

Mr. Evans- Chris Evans AU Chapter Seven

Teacher!Chris Evans x Student!Reader

Warnings: TeacherxStudent relationship. Slightly Underage reader x adult teacher. An almost-sexual-assault scene. If this triggers you please don’t read. Violence. (just a small fight scene)  Disclaimers: I don’t own CE or you. I don’t condone any relationship of this kind. This is for fictional and entertainment purposes only. 

A/N: Also, can we all just agree that if at any point a woman or anyone else says “no” or “stop”, you have to respect their wishes? CONSENT IS EVERYTHING PERIOD! Word Count:  4, 392 words

Read Chapter Six Here!!

*

(Gif isn’t mine!)

The thing you hated about parties the most was the fact that they never seemed to end.

Well, actually, that was the second thing you hated about them the most. The thing you actually hated the most about parties was having to dress up.

“God fuckin- Margo,” you groan, tugging at the soft fabric of your black cocktail dress.

“What?” She looks at you from the corner of her eye, gaze trained on the road ahead of her.

“This thing is too short.”

Laughing, your best friend shakes her head at your apprehensiveness. “You can not be serious, Y/n. That dress is like, six inches above your knees. Max. And it’s long at the back so...”

You lean back into the comfy seat of Margo’s sedan, grumbling. “I don’t like heels.”

She wiggles her brows. “They make your legs look great, though.”

You can’t argue the point with her any longer and hated to admit she was right. The strappy heels which wrapped all the way just below your knees and off-shoulder dress that hugged your top but spread out at the bottom required a considerable amount of cash from your father's bank account but looked really good on you.

The style was so far from your usual jeans and sneakers minimalist fashion but tonight you actually looked...pretty.

But that was just you. Margo insisted that you always looked pretty. The only difference tonight was that you looked “extremely fuckable.”

Not your favorite choice of wording but fair enough.

While getting ready, you’d asked her to go easy on the makeup (which she did not want to do) in exchange for you to let her do whatever she wanted to your hair.

She’d reluctantly agreed, only applying a thick layer of mascara to your lashes, shimmering eyeshadow to your lids and a pink-tinted lip gloss.

She didn’t do as much as you would’ve thought with the hair though, opting to curl it all instead of the crazy up-do you’d been expecting. The curls were big and loose and sexy. You looked bold and sophisticated and for once you felt good about your appearance.

“So this party,” you start. “How long is it gonna last?”

“Oh. As long as you want it to, baby.” She smirks in that typical Margo fashion that made you uneasy as hell.

“Oh no,” you groan softly under your breath.

Tonight was going to be a disaster, you just knew it.

*

Jenna Miller’s mansion was huge. Huge as in it may actually have been an entire estate.

The music was loud and even as you made your way up the steps of the front lawn, your feet still vibrated with the strong bass of “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster The People.

You almost hold back a wince at the multiple couples on the literal brink of having sex right then and there. Almost.

Margo, who wore a tight red dress showing off all her incredible curves and monstrous black heels, hugged you to her, puckering her ruby red lips. “C’ mon Y/n. Stop being such a prude. A little kissing never hurt anyone.”

You laugh at her incredulously, pointing to a nearby couple practically dry-humping eachother. “That is not kissing. That is full-on sex.”

She smirks. “You mind now, but I’m sure if it was a certain English teacher kissing you, you wouldn’t mind in the least.”

You flush almost immediately at the sound of Mr. Evans and kissing in the same sentence, gulping a lump in your throat. If only she knew.

“Let’s just go in, yeah?” You rasp, walking in ahead of her.

She mumbles something about you “acting weird lately” under her breath but follows you all the same.

The inside of the house is not much better than the outside, with people drinking and hollering loudly. Some are making out in various places of the living area and most are just dancing like crazy.

You link your arms with Margo almost instinctively, your social anxiety kicking in at the overwhelming sight. I should’ve stayed home watching the rest of the third season of Breaking Bad, you think regretfully.

Margo smiles down at you softly. patting your hand reassuringly. “It’ll be okay, Y/n. Just relax. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

The third thing you hated most about parties happened to be that Margo thrived in them. 

Which meant it’d hadn’t even when an hour before she’d gone to get you drinks that she’d been surrounded by a crowd of her other friends, obscuring your view of her except for her head as another crowd of sweaty teens came in, blocking her off completely.

This immediately makes you anxious and you push your way through the crowd but it’s almost impossible. A string of “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s” follow close behind as you practically shove people away in desperate search of your friend, but when you make it to the other side where Margo had previously been in, she was gone.

You look around the immediate premise for her a bit more, but she’s nowhere to be found. You just hope she’ll eventually make her way back to where you’d been last.

You assumed she’d gone off to mingle and didn’t want to interrupt whatever socially-strengthening experience she was having right now. Just because you were incapable of holding a casual conversation with others doesn’t mean you had the right to hold her back from doing so. You were already enough baggage as it was.

So you sigh, throwing yourself back onto the couch you had found in a dark corner. You hoped no one else happened to stumble upon it in the time it took Margo to come back.

Time ticked by torturously by. You watched a game of beer pong going on in front of you and laughed along to some of the stupidities the dares these kids had come up with. Somewhere nearby, a clearly not-sober girl had begun a striptease to the tune of “Partition” by Beyoncé. Guys hollered and you gasped, about to go save the poor girl’s dignity before another girl quickly steps in and takes the girl off the table, giving her her shirt back and using it to cover her as she tugged her away. 

So there you are, bored out of your fucking mind, playing random games on your phone and trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. It's been twenty minutes already when you feel the spot on the couch next to you sink.

Looking over, you raise a brow at who’s decided to sit next to you. He smiles that well-known charming smile of his and you suddenly realize why every girl in your school is in love with him.

“Hey,” James greets you warmly.

James McDaniels. Typical fuckboy. Hot as hell, dangerously charming and your town’s resident golden boy. The son of some big CEO who’d moved from another town down south, everyone believes he’ll make it to play football professionally.

But that’s beside the point. Why was the most attractive/popular guy in school talking to...you?

“Um...hi?” Rather than a greeting, you sound like you’re questioning yourself. You don’t wait for him to respond before you turn your attention back to your phone.

“Want a drink?” he draws your attention back to him, offering you a red solo cup.

You look at the cup then slowly trail your eyes from his hand to his -quite honestly- muscular arm to his handsome face which is pleasantly curved into an eye-blindingly sexy smile.

Immediately, your defenses go up and you shake your head disinterestedly. “No thank you. I don’t take drinks from strangers.”

He chuckles lightly, clicking his tongue. “I didn’t spike it if that’s what you’re thinking. Not that kind of guy, princess.”

His voice is incredibly attractive. Raspy and smooth and he has the hint of a southern accent which somehow makes it all the more attractive.

You finally look at him, putting our phone away in your clutch.

James McDaniels is not your type at all. He’s not dumb per se, but he’s not exactly an intellectual either.

And most importantly, he’s not Mr. Evans...

His eyes were a pretty hazel but they weren’t that gorgeous baby blue that occasionally turned into a deep aqua blue you loved so much. His hair was a dark brown, not a light dirty blonde you always have the urge to run your fingers through. His face was freshly-shaven and didn’t have the hints of a beard you utterly loved scratching your face. And his lips were nice, but they weren't Mr. Evans’s lips.

The thoughts infuriate you. Why are you still thinking about Mr. Evans, Y/n? That was a one-time thing and it was never even meant to happen. It’ll never happen again anyways. He’ll never be able to be with you in the real world. Wake up.

Shocking even yourself, you take the cup from James’s hand with a small smile. “Thanks.” And then you throw it back, drinking its contents in one go.

Immediately, you start coughing erratically, the alcohol burning your throat intensely. James laughs, patting your back lightly.

“Not used to drinking, I assume?”

You smile lightly at him, wiping your mouth. “Nope.” You frown. “What was that?”

He shrugs, downing his own drink easily. He crushes the cup in his hand and throws it over his shoulder. “Vodka maybe? Who even cares? It’s good, right?”

You find yourself smiling lightly, nodding along. “Yep.”

He smirks mischievously. “Wanna get more?”

You nibble on your lip, considering the offer lightly. It sounds fucked up, but for a few seconds, you were able to forget about Mr. Evans and the torture of not being able to ever really have him. You felt...good. Numb. So nothing, really. But that still was better than feeling the pain. You wanted to feel like that forever.

Plus, James McDaniels didn’t seem like bad company. You’d be cautious anyways.

You smirk at him. “Yes, please.”

*

Needless to say, as someone not used to drinking at all, your body did not grow accustomed to the alcohol that was constantly flowing into it fast enough whatsoever. 

It started out casual, but over time you’d become less and less defensive about the drinking, simply craving the feeling the alcohol gave you. The freedom from the memory of Mr. Evan’s lips on yours it offered you.

You were a lightweight and before you knew it, you were drunk.

Everything felt so much better when you didn’t feel like yourself. Even James, who you had no particular interest in became much more interesting with the alcohol. 

He was nice and flirty and over the time you’d spent conversing, he’d slowly moved in closer to you, expressing his interest in you with little brushes on your shoulder and face and legs...

You barely noticed, too lost in the euphoric feeling of the alcohol currently coursing through your system. Your muscles were loose and your smile came easy and you’d never felt so careless and free.

Margo never really made her way back to you but you were too buzzed to give a shit.

“So I fell off the fucking bleachers and landed on my ass,” James finishes his story and you can’t help but snort, quickly falling into a fit of giggles thereafter.

You don’t even know why you’re laughing so much, it’s not even that funny but you can’t help it. 

You calm down enough to ask, “oh my God, you really let that tiny guy shove you like that? For a girl?”

He shrugs with a soft smile, caressing your arm softly then looking into your eyes sincerely. “For the right girl, yeah. Sure princess.”

You can’t help but scoff, downing your tenth to eleventh vodka shot of the night.

“What?” James chuckles a bit confusedly.

You look at him with a grin. “Nothing, it’s just...you’re good.”

He raises a brow. “Good?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah. Dangerously good. I mean c’ mon! ‘For the right girl, sure’?!” You huff. “That has got to be the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard!”

He smiles in a cute sheepish way that you suspect might also be rehearsed.

“Did it work at least?”

Feeling strangely bold, you smile flirtingly at him, slowly leaning in close enough to have your lips brush slightly. Your chest pressed against his, your finger makes a small trajectory from the sharp line of his jaw to his neck, chest, abs then lower... lower... it stops just above his belt.

You bite your lip seductively, looking into his eyes from underneath your lashes.

“Hm...” you hum softly, watching as his breath falters and his pupils dilate with desire. His lips part and his lids drop halfway.

“No.”

You lean back with a smug smirk on your face, almost bursting into uncontrollable laughter at the look in his face. He looked so disappointed. Your humor grows uneasy, though, when you think you think you see a pissed look flash across his face. It’s gone just as fast as it came and you wondered if you were imagining it when he laughs loudly along with you.

Shaking your head, you get up, slightly wobbling on your own two legs. You giggle at this.

“Where are you going?” James frowns up at you.

You smirk. “Calm down, dad. I'm going to piss, I’ll be back.”

You spin on your heels, almost tripping in the process and make your way to the back patio in an utterly clumsy manner. Truth be told, you just needed to breathe a little. All those people pushing up on you was suffocating. The heat was unbearable.

Stumbling your way outside, you take notice that the place was practically empty and sigh in relief. Silently, you take your phone out of your clutch. Typing quickly, you press Margo’s contact and write her a text message.

To: Bestie❤

Hey, where the hell are you? You better not be drunk cuz I’m hammered and you’re our driver.

You laugh stupidly at the text and it only takes a few seconds before she answers.

From: Bestie❤

Shit. I tried calling you, Y/n! After we got separated I was pulled off to talk and a few minutes later I got a call from my mom that there was a family emergency I had to leave for. I tried looking for you too, but you were nowhere to be found so I assumed you’d left.

I’m soooo sorry, babe!

You frown down at your phone. Crap.

“Shit!” You curse into the cool night but before you know what’s happening, the alcohol seeps into your brain, dismissing any coherent thought you could have. Soon, you find yourself shrugging dismissively and going back into your contacts in search of someone to call to come to pick you up.

“Dad? No, he does not know I’m here and we’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much,” you mumble to yourself. The rest of your contacts are Margo and fast food services and restaurants. 

“Should I call Dylan from Dominoes to come to pick me up?” You snort at your own little joke feeling careless as shit. “Hm...it’s times like these I wish I had more friends.” You sigh, about to give up on when you suddenly stumble across an unexpected contact name.

“Mr. Evans? When did I get his number?” You let out a small confused sound then smirk mischievously, a dumb idea suddenly popping up in your brain.

“Hm, doesn’t matter either way. I can have some fun with this.” You squeal excitedly and without a second thought, press on the contact name and put the phone to your ear, biting your lip to hold back the excitement equivalent to that of a five-year-old child on Christmas morning.

The plan was no plan, really. You just had a sudden urge to call him. To hear him. You felt so brave doing this.

It takes three full rings before he answers, his voice raspy and sexy with sleep.

“Hello?”

You can’t help but laugh, biting your lip even harder to suppress an inexplicable enthusiasm within you.

“What the-” you hear shifting for a second and assume it’s him moving the phone away from his face before he puts it back on, his voice suddenly more alert. “Y/n? What the hell is going on? It’s two in the morn-”

“You’re hot,” you impulsively blurt, immediately covering your mouth afterward.

“What?” You can hear him moving around as you giggle.

“You are. Like, stupid hot. You’re like out-of-this-world hot. I mean, you must know that right? Someone that looks like you do has to know they’re stupidly attractive, no?”

“Wh-”

“And you’re smart. Oh! A-and kind. Actually, you might be the kindest human being I know. It’s kind of funny actually. You are the one person I want to hate the most. But you’re literally impossible to hate.” You giggle. “Impossi-bleh. Ha. That’s a funny word. Impossi-bleh.”

“Y/n, are you drunk?”

You ignore his question, babbling off with a slur in your words. “It’s not fair you know? How can one person be so perfect? And why does that same person happen to be the only one I want but can’t be with?” Your voice grows softer towards the end, cautiously tender. 

He doesn’t respond at first so you continue, your voice strained with pain and utter desperation. “A-and why did you have to kiss me? That just ruined everything, ya’ know!? I was fine with having a stupid crush on my stupid English teacher because I was convinced it’d go away. But then-” you swallow the sudden and painful lump in your throat. “B-but then you kissed me, and that just ruined fucking everything!” You whine like a little girl. 

He sighs dejectedly over the phone. “Where are you, sweetheart? I’ll come to get you.”  

You laugh humorlessly, your mood abruptly turning sour. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about! Here I am telling you I literally hate how fucking perfect you are and here you are, saying shit like that and being all concerned for my wellbeing.” 

He sighs exasperatedly. “Sweetheart-”

“Stop calling me that!” You find yourself screaming hysterically into the phone, your grip on it tightening before you speak again. “You can’t call me that and assume it means nothing.”

“Okay, okay. Y/n,” he corrects himself gently. “Can you just tell me where you are so I can come to get you?”

You huff into the phone. “James is nice, you know? And cute. And he likes touching me a lot. I don’t really like it, but he brings me drinks so I guess it’s okay.” You giggle, shrugging and disregarding the fact that no one could see you.

“Oh no,” he mumbles worriedly. “Y/n can you please just tell me where you’re-”

“Anyways,” you cut him off. “I’m going to go back to drinking and forgetting about your stupid lips now Mr. Evans. Bye!”

“No! Y-” He tries to protest but doesn’t get to finish before you end the call, heading back inside with a small smile on your face.

That’ll show him, you think triumphantly.

Once you’ve made your way clumsily back inside, a red plastic solo cup is already waiting for you. You grin, walking over and sitting next to James excitedly.  

He smiles lazily and swiftly moves his hand to rest on your knee.

You paid it no mind, opting instead to squeal as “Toxic” by Britney Spears came on.

“I love this song!” You grin excitedly.

James gets up, offering you his hand and motioning to the dance floor where a bunch of people were already dancing. 

He smirks. “Would you give me the absolute pleasure of letting me take you out to dance, princess?”

You giggle softly, shaking your head. “Oh. I can’t dance.”

He raises his brows. “I can’t either.”

You laugh a bit and reluctantly place your hand in his. “Fine.”

He pulls you to him, placing a hand dangerously close to your butt and leading you to the dance floor.

Immediately, you’re squished together with James, the bodies of sweaty drunk teens sliding up next to you. Usually, you’d be gagging with disgust, but you just didn’t care right now.

James wraps his hands around your waist, pushing your hips to move. You look up at him weirdly for a second but your mind is far too fuzzy to even care about what he’s making you do, so you begin to dance as he instructs.

The music was far too irresistible to your intoxicated ears and you couldn’t hold back from moving your hips along to the beat, letting your hair be free in its movement. 

It doesn’t take long and frankly, you barely notice when you spin around and begin grinding on James, brushing your ass against his crotch and kissing his neck teasingly light.

He pulls you close to him, thick arm wrapped tightly around your waist and hips still moving against you.

“I knew behind all that good girl act you put up you’re actually a freak in the sheets, princess,” he rasps sultrily in your ear.  

Something about that doesn’t rub you right, even in your drunk state and you immediately cease your movements, looking up at him. “Let me go, please. I’d like to sit down.”

He frowns. “What? Why? We were having such a good time, princess. I like you and I know you like me.” He leans down, kissing your neck softly.

You don’t like the feeling and immediately shove him away, stumbling back on your unstable legs and heels. “What the hell makes you think that?” You snap drunkenly.

He laughs incredulously, reaching out for you again. “Uh, maybe the fact that you were practically flirting with me the entire night?”

You purse your lips, recognizing how that might’ve looked on your behalf. It’s just...you’d never really felt powerful and sexy and the alcohol gave you the courage you’d never had otherwise to express your sexuality. 

You were still sticking to your plan though. And giving your virginity to a guy like James McDaniels was not your plan. 

“Hey, James. I’m really sorry if I g-gave you any reason to believe this was going to go any further than what just happened.”

You struggle to stand upright and suddenly it occurs to you that James didn’t look all that drunk despite having been bringing you drinks all night.

“I-I think I’m just gonna go.” You point shakily over your shoulder, unable to keep from laughing at the stupidity of, well, you.  

At that moment, the same pissed off look you thought you’d been imagining before comes onto James’s face again, and this time it doesn’t leave.

“The hell you are, you big tease. You’re were the one who started this. And now you’re going to finish it,” he growls, gripping your wrist tightly, his fingers digging into your skin and making it abundantly clear he didn’t plan on letting you go.

You immediately tug at your wrist, shaking your head firmly. “Let me go, James.”

He grins darkly. “No can do, princess. You got me all ready for action and now you’re going to come through whether you like it or not.” 

And just like that, he starts dragging you away toward the staircase where the bedrooms were situated, you assume.

An uneasy feeling grips your gut painfully tight. He looks like he means it. 

“James! I’m serious, let me go!” You tug harder to no avail as his nails dig deeper into the skin of your wrist. You yelp in pain. “Someone help!” No one seems to even notice you, too lost in their little worlds. Your panic intensifies and your heart starts racing at an erratic pace. “Please James, let go of me!” He spins around in a fit, gripping your jaw bruisingly tight.

Panic takes over your mind, but you’re weak in your intoxicated state and not a match for the football player’s strength.

“Listen, slut, either you shut your trap or it’ll be worse for you. That’s a promise.” He roughly shoves your face back. 

But he doesn’t get a chance to spin back around and tug you into your worst nightmare before a fist comes crashing down into his jaw.

James groans in pain at the powerful attack, falling on his back with a hard crack.

You gasp, holding a horrified hand to your mouth as the figure, who you now realize is wearing a dark hoodie and sunglasses hiding his identity, straddles James and begins punching the living hell out of him.

Fist after fist strikes the harasser in the face, painful groans and yelps leaving his mouth whilst your aggressive savior only lets out breathy grunts and under-his-breath mumbles when his fists make contact with James’s face.

And although you were thankful to have been saved, blood was spraying on your legs and you knew if this continued, he’d kill him.

James begins picking himself up, though, landing some blows of his own. The stranger barely grunts in pain upon impact, his blows to James becoming twice as powerful as before and pummelling his fists down on him.

People quickly gather around you three, creating a huge crowd of people recording the fight and a string of “oohs” from multiple of them. No one steps in to stop them from killing eachother though.

Suddenly feeling sober, you jump in, gripping the stranger’s bicep tightly in your small hands. “Hey! Hey, stop! Stop it! That’s enough!”

At the sound of your voice, the stranger instantly stops the assault and gets up, gripping your arm firmly without a word. The grip was not enough to hurt you, but enough to easily sweep you out of the house, past the probing crowd and down the front lawn. 

You stumble along in your heels, still trying to make sense of everything that just happened.

“Hey!” You scream at him. “Where- ah!”

But before your still-buzzed mind can place exactly what it is that’s happening, the man is picking you up bridal style.

You squeak a little, wrapping your arms around his neck to stabilize yourself.

“What the hell, dude!? You just saved me from a scum-bag and now you’re-”

“Damn it, sweetheart. We need to get out of here!”

You freeze. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Mr. Evans?” you breathe.

Read Chapter Eight Here!!

***

Hehehe... Told ya’ shit was gonna go down this chapter...

A Special Thanks To:  ( I apologize for those of you I said I’d tag, but didn’t. I’m bad at keeping track of things. So please if you’re not here when I said you’d be, let me know!)

@bombsandsparkles

@meowsekai

@godohammers

@sp2900

@multifandom-foreverx

@missbosstown

@supernaturalyloki

@jungkooksbowlingskills

@spettrocoli

@woodworthti666

@tshollandlove

@weirdvishy

@buckysrcse

@doritoevansxwinterschildren

@superwholockwannabe  

@emmiejames

@rissamonique97

@zofty15

@sarcasticalphaofthelooserspack

@sydneynix8305

@badkatthings  

@pinnedandneedled

@taliarosej00

@lowkey-love-loki

@tomoyaevaans

@dontstopfreddienow

@notbexmader

@celestiial-angel

@primavera-nymph

@littlecherrydoll

@panic-naran

@chljmntgy

@phanmatch

@moonlightimagination

@cap-just-said-language

@covergirl122

And of course my forevers!

@jessikared97

@sherlockedtash88

@lilypalmer1987

@mogaruke

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say!  it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell!  lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!!  cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies).  what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them. 

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else).  however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby.  DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees.  Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies???  well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining.  i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time!  but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people.  to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about.  so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival.  both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s.  when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound. 

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean?  u catchin my drift???  u takin what im dishin out????  the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics.  which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic.  the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing.  i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther.  this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago.  so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start!  we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch.  it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy.  theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast.  in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well.  thats fuckin huge my guy.  and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time.  and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way.  like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable.  however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me.  the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered.  i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations. 

so.  best picture.  this is where i feel the most conflicted.  cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters.  usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film.  ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well.  passable.  it was ok.  but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like.  okay.  michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird.  and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well.  not great.  every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside.  and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative.  and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes.  but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????).  and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise).  its just, u know, a good superhero movie.  nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom.  i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies.  and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen.  but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying. 

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think.  really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design.  so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting?  idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

[trans-shuichisaihara]

fake it till (we) make it - Scene 1

the celebrity fake dating oumota au I started last month or smth and finally picked up again. I really love this au so uhh hopefully y’all do too! coughs bc it’s probably a slow burn and i have too many of those

(read on AO3)

Kaito Momota, up-and-coming actor newly known for his roles in various sci-fi films, has a problem. Said problem comes in the form of his frequent costar ringing insistently on his door at 2am.

“What the fuck,” is all his tired mind can create to greet him with. If Kokichi minds, he doesn’t show it, a wild grin filling his face.

“Good morning, Kaito!”

“It’s the middle of the night, this better be real fuckin’ important.” A headache is already starting to form right behind his eyes, so he really isn’t in the mood for-

“I’m bored; you should be a good host and entertain me!”

Three seconds later, Kaito slams the door in his face.

“Hey! Kaito! C’mooon!” The relief from his voice being muffled only lasts a matter of seconds, as Kokichi goes back to ringing the doorbell rapidly.

“Fine,” he groans, throwing the door back open, “Get in here before I call someone to get rid of you.”

He wastes no time obeying, hurrying past Kaito and straight to the living room, vaulting over and onto the couch.

He sighs, closing the door and massaging his aching head. “You could at least take off your shoes, asshole.”

“I’m good,” he cheekily replies, resting said shoes on the arm of the couch, “Come sit over here.” He pats the seat next to him. Kaito shakes his head and opts to sit on the opposite end.

“Are you gonna explain why the hell you’re awake at 2 in the morning or should I just assume you’re going out of your way to bother me?”

He hums in response, before his expression changes to a pout. “My manager wants me to change my sleep schedule so we can get some night scenes out of the way. But no one else is ever awake at this time of night unless they’re completely smashed.”

Kaito pinches his nose; what was Kokichi starring in again? He himself isn’t doing anything currently, waiting for preparations for the next film to wrap up. “Why don’t you go bother Miu then? She supposedly never sleeps.”

“She sleeps weird hours, but she’s in France with Kaede right now.”

Oh, yeah, that’s right. “Ugh, call her or text her or something then; it’s like normal morning hours there.”

“No thanks,” Kokichi declines, kicking off his shoes, “I don’t want to interrupt her honeymoon.”

He furrows his brows at his word choice; they’re there for Kaede’s piano concerts, right? Well, whatever. “Why don’t you go bother-” Fuck, who could he send Kokichi off to? He couldn’t bother Shuichi or Maki with him, and all their other mutual friends either expressed annoyance with him or didn’t stand up to him when he was being like this. Dammit. “... Fine, whatever, guess you can be my problem for tonight.”

It has to be illegal for him to look so happy at being the source of someone’s sleep deprivation. “Aw, I knew you’d come around. No one can resist me.” Fucking spoiled brat.

“Just find some way to entertain yourself; I got plenty of shit lying around. I'm goin' back to sleep.” He stands, waving him off, but doesn’t get far before Kokichi lunges forward and grabs his wrist.

“I have a huge Lego Star Destroyer in my car and if you don’t help me build it I’ll egg your house.”

... Well, how could he say no to that? “Dude, you act as if building that would be a bad thing.”

He hums in response, releasing Kaito and tossing his keys up to him without warning. He catches it midair, nearly missing the sly smirk that crosses Kokichi’s face. “You’ll see~!”

The box isn’t that big, but it’s heavier than he expected it to be. Not anything he can’t handle, but it still causes him some trouble getting it through the door, determined to be as difficult as its owner. He becomes very familiar with information on the side of the box as he’s bringing it in; 3152 pieces, recommended for ages 16 and up.

Looks like Kokichi would have to sit out, haha.

Relaying that joke to him when he finally sets it down in the living room earns him a huff and an annoyed shout reminding him that they’re the same age. Geez, it isn't Kaito’s fault he looks nothing like a 23 year old. He doesn't look a day over 15, and that's just a fact.

“So, why do you even have this? Don't tell me you bought it just to bribe me,” he asks as they pull out the bags of pieces from the box, Kokichi flipping through the first few pages.

“No way, it's just something I impulse bought last Christmas and never got around to building. I remembered it while I was sitting around bored and hey, you're the residential space freak.” He grabs the baggie labeled “1” from Kaito’s pile, tearing it open with more force than necessary.

“Hey, careful! You’ll lose pieces like that!”

“Relax, it's the first bag, and your house is surprisingly clean. Seriously, do you even live here?”

Kaito feels a bit offended at that. “What does that mean?! You think I live like a slob or somethin’?!”

“Uh, yeah? Your dressing room is always a mess.” He pauses. “Do you keep the mess in your bedroom then?” He gives him a teasing wink as he begins snapping pieces together.

“My room’s clean too, asshole. It's not hard to keep a clean house.”

“I bet it is, when you own literally nothing.” He shakes his head. “I was expecting collectables and spaceship models everywhere.”

Well... He does have those, but they're in his study where he can see them while he works out. “What, so are you saying you own a bunch of junk then?” He did say that he impulsively bought this.

Kokichi's face goes flat for a moment, before snapping back into a grin. “Yep! You caught me, I'm a huuuuge hoarder!” And a huge liar; anyone who works with him for even five minutes knows that.

“Yeah, sure.” Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. He can't judge a house he's never seen. Which begs the question- “Where the hell do you even live?”

“I wonder,” he answers with a non-answer, flipping to the next page. Kaito shakes his head, unsurprised.

After he grabs one of the other instruction booklets and his own bag of pieces - pushing Kokichi’s scattered pieces towards him to prevent mixing - the two of them work in silence for a long while. Kaito starts to yawn as he flips through the seemingly endless instructions, blurry vision causing him to keep misreading the pictures and forcing him to frequently tear apart sections of his progress.

“You're really bad at this,” Kokichi comments as he finally finishes his booklet, standing up and stretching.

“Fuck you, I'm doing my best on three hours of sleep.”

“Hmm, should've gone to bed earlier. Besides, I only got four and I'm perfectly fine.” Despite his words, the next sound to leave his mouth is a poorly disguised yawn. “Anyway, I'm gonna raid your pantry as punishment for being so slow.”

Ughhh. “Good luck finding anything, I haven't gone grocery shopping recently.”

There's a long pause as Kokichi inspects the food situation for himself. He returns a minute later with a tupperware container. “How are you alive?”

“Meal prep and tons of leftovers.” He hauls himself up with a low groan, before walking over and taking the container from him. “Don't eat this; it's my lunch for tomorrow.”

Kokichi sticks his tongue out at him. “Whatever, I didn't want your gross... whatever that is.” He huffs, turning back into the kitchen to poke around.

Kaito sighs. “Want me to order a pizza?” That's a better option than him getting into the little food that remains.

He perks up, closing the barren freezer. “I supposeee,” he drawls, pretending to be disinterested.

“What toppings?” He pulls up a list of nearby pizza places, hoping one of them would deliver at almost 3:30am. Closes at 3am, closes at 2am, midnight... Damn.

“None pizza with left beef, obviously.”

“C’mon Kokichi, a serious answer please.”

“Fine, pineapple with anchovies.”

“Alright, no take backs,” he answers, still squinting at his phone to find a place.

Kokichi sighs after a minute of unsuccessful searching. “Gimme that, I know a place.” Before he can object, his phone is in his hands and the pizza is ordered, along with some mystery combo items.

Afterwards, the phone is returned to him unharmed, thankfully. “It’s gonna be 34 dollars, spaceman.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah yeah, lemme go find my wallet.” He shakes his head and makes the mistake of leaving Kokichi alone unattended downstairs.

By the time he digs his wallet out of his nightstand and takes a quick piss, the doorbell rings. He splashes some water on his face to help keep himself awake, hurrying down the stairs as Kokichi’s opening the door.

“Thank you very much! Sorry, no autographs, but you can get one from Kaito if you want.” He hurries past Kaito and away from the delivery girl, a pile of boxed food in his arms.

Kaito sighs as he pulls a 50 out of his wallet. “Need me to sign anything? And keep the change, it’s fuck o’clock in the morning, I know.” Once he’s signed in three separate places aside from the receipt, she finally leaves, letting him turn his attention back to Kokichi.

“Hey, what’s your Netflix password?” He immediately asks once the door’s closed. “I tried a bunch of stupid space references but it’s not working.”

“Like hell I’ll tell you that, use your own.” He plopped himself back down at the abandoned Legos, trying to regain focus.

“I don’t have oneeee,” he whines in response, dropping the controller down onto the floor as he flops onto his side. Kaito resists sighing again and picks it up, turning the console off, ignoring Kokichi’s continued mumbled whines.

They sit in silence for a few long moments before Kaito realizes that something’s off with the Legos. “Hey, where the hell’d all my small gray pieces go?”

He shoots Kokichi a look, and he receives a toothy smile in response. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll step on them at some point!”

He scowls - like hell he will. “Seriously, do you want us to build this or not? If we lose a shit ton of pieces right off the bat, that’s not happening.”

“I mean...” Kokichi sat up, observing his nails for a moment before turning to the pizza box next to him and opening it. “I’m pretty bored with it now. I’m trying to think of a better game to play, since Netflix and chill is out of the question.”

He coughs. “Shuddit. Fuck, you’re such a pain.” He shakes his head and starts to pick up the pieces, taking the complete piece and the almost finished one to the empty bookshelf he’s been meaning to fill in the corner of the room. Once he’s finished, Kokichi beckons him back over, shoving a paper plate with a slice on it into his hands. He eats it, only because he paid for it and he’s hungry from sleep deprivation.

It’s not too bad, honestly.

“Hmmm, I wanna take a selfie...” Kokichi thinks aloud, leaning his full body weight of literally nothing against Kaito as he pulls out his phone and opens the camera app.

“Seriously?! I’m trying to eat!”

“Just one, promise! Say pineapple!” The circular button takes their picture silently, unlike paparazzi cameras. He lets Kaito approve of it before returning to his previous position.

“Satisfied? Will you let me sleep and not make a mess if I go back to bed?” Kaito asks after the pizza and half the breadsticks are gone, yawning again.

“Only if you answer my question.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Shoot.”

“What do you think about fake dating? Specifically, me ‘n’ you?”

His question is answered by him coughing to avoid choking on his own spit.

[4birds-of-a-feather]

Chapter 26 - Man, it doesn’t show signs of stoppin’ [part 6]

Birds Of a Feather

(In the previous chapters: Stone and Mike join the happy brigade, Sara at first treats ‘em like shit but, as the beer grows, she becomes more and more friendly; Mike helps Ed and Layla with the dinner that successfully takes place, until Jeff suddenly appears, not so happy about the gang’s decision of throwing a party without letting him now)

“Slides?” Mike asked incredulous. “Yup” Jeff confirmed as he was having his plate filled by Layla for a second pasta round. “Is that what all the entertainment consisted of?” Stone remarked while his bandmate stuffed his face with food. “It consisted in them showing slides of their Hawaii vacation to a bunch of college jerks” “Hawaii is amazing, I definitely have to go there someday. And catch some waves. The pictures must have been beautiful, nature is so wild” a dreamy eyed Eddie said, ocean waves rolling in his mind. “It wasn’t exactly National Geographic style, Ed. From what you could see, those pictures may as well have been shot in West Seattle.” Jeff immediately killed his friend’s enthusiasm “And even the greatest photo shoot starts to get boring after half an hour” “C’mon, I’m sure the subjects weren’t bad at all” Stone retorted, earning nasty looks from the two girls sitting at the table. “... And the subjects of the pictures were the only subjects of the whole party actually, they were the only girls, which I found kinda weird...” “Uh yes, very weird!” Layla simply rolled her eyes. “Cough cough attention cough seeker” Sara whispered not so low between fake coughs. “Well, you’re the only female subjects here too, ladies. You often are” Stone pointed out ignoring the danger. <If looks could kill, I'd be dead already> the guitarist thought right when Layla opened her mouth. “Well, this is not a party, we literally live here-” “Temporarily” Jeff chimed in while chewing. “... Temporarily” Layla repeated. “We live here temporarily and you fuckers casually dropped by to eat for free, it’s not like we invited you” Sara blurted out with a straight face. Stone was about to answer back, but the bass player interrupted them to go on with his story. “Anyway, it was two girls and like twenty guys and there was something like a slice of pizza and half a can of beer for each person” “That’s the worse shit” Mike finally commented. “... And they were cranking New Kids on the Block's Christmas album on the stereo” “Now that is the worse shit” Eddie noted with a disgusted face. “And that’s why I came back here, I didn’t expect a secret party was being thrown at my apartment” Jeff said not even trying to hide some resentment. “It’s not a party! And we weren’t even supposed to be here” Layla replied, looking at the others alternatively. <But I'm glad we are> she thought and smiled to herself. “And what about all this?” Jeff asked, pointing at the table. “We were hungry, I had to cook something” the girl defended herself. “And what about that?” he then pointed at the decorated Christmas tree. “You can’t have Christmas without a Christmas tree!” “And I bet you were about to exchange presents without me” the bass player went on. “Hey, just chill, Jeffrey, we don’t do presents” Stone shrugged and poured himself more wine. “Well, you don’t but someone does” Sara remarked, looking at Layla. “Hahaha! What do you think they are, then? Those boxes under the tree? Decorations?” Jeff pointed out, laughing at his bandmate’s face. “You got us presents?” Mike asked with a confused look on his face, while Eddie pretended to be surprised too. “Well, I’d have given them to you once I had got back from my... family vacation” Layla explained, still struggling a little not to let out her secret. “Buuuut, since we’re all here... UNWRAPPING TIME!” Jeff rubbed his hands and yelled all of a sudden making everyone in the room yelp.

Ament went first for the packages under the small Christmas tree followed by his band mates, and each one of them immediately found their own present. The bass player literally tore the wrapping paper in pieces to reveal a wooden box containing a professional set of paint brushes. “Wow, these are cool! How did you know I needed them?” Jeff asked, probing the different brushes with his fingers. “Where do you think I live? Temporarily, that is.” Layla beamed “You always leave your brushes around in the house when you paint and I noticed they were mostly dry and mangy, so...” “Thank you, Four Eyes, I owe you” he gave the girl a small pat on her back and went back to examine the new brushes. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘I OWE YOU‘? WHERE’S YOUR PRESENT?!” Sara unexpectedly yelled at the bass player. “Are you crazy? What's wrong with you, you made me deaf!” her roommate complained, painfully covering one of her ears with her hand. “We should explain to our gentle host the meaning of the word exchanging when you talk about gifts” the girl went on, folding her arms in a threatening way. “How would I know she’d been here! I though she was leaving” Jeff justified himself, strangely without attacking Sara, but apparently showing a genuine remorse. “It doesn’t matter, Jeff, really! It’s fine, I didn’t expect a present” Layla tried to calm her friend down but it looked like there was no point in trying. “It’s not fine at all!” Sara exclaimed, before being interrupted by someone else. “Ehm ehm...” Mike cleared his throat catching the girl’s attention as he was holding his still unwrapped gift in his hands “Actually... we don’t have presents either” “WHAT?” “That’s not true, we brought the wine” Stone retorted. “The wine you stole at your parents’ house doesn’t count as present” Sara smirked and the quarrel was extended to the other two musicians, while another figure was secretly walking away into another room very quickly. “I’ve let you live in my fucking apartment for months, isn’t that enough for a present?” Jeff flailed his arms around in sudden exasperation and Sara was about to stand up when a voice behind stopped her. “No, it’s not!” the girls turned around to see two huge boxes held out by someone who must have been Eddie, given from the voice who spoke, but was completely covered by the packages. “TA-DA!” Mike shouted and everybody but the two girls started cheering and laughing. “... The fuck?” Sara craned her neck to give a better look at the boxes. “Merry Christmas from all of us!” Ed said from behind the packages. “You must have a really shitty opinion of us if for a moment you really thought we hadn’t got you a fuckin’ gift” Stone remarked, almost offended. “Well, considering you have a caveman in your band, that didn’t sound totally unlikely” Sara answered and the bass player immediately flashed her a smile together with his middle finger, mouthing a Merry Christmas that was supposed to be playful but left the girl confused for a minute. “Here, this is yours, Layla” Eddie handed the green box to the girl who hadn’t spoken a word until then. “Thank you... you shouldn’t have, I wasn’t expecting this” she took the package and looked at the smiling guys one by one as she spoke. “Wait until we see what it is, before thanking them” Sara joked as she collected herself and tore the blue box away from the singer’s hands, wasting no time. “They’re survival kits” Stone revealed and, in doing so, immediately earned a slap from Jeff on his shoulder. “Shut up! You’ll ruin the surprise” Mike protested. “They’re literally opening the packages now, they’ll know in a couple of seconds” “So keep your mouth shut for two secs, can you?” Ament urged him while Layla started to squeal. “AAAAAAAAWWWWWW! This is so cute!” the girl held out a green throw pillow with a message written on it, which Mike promptly read aloud. “Thank you for feeding all us fuckers” “Thank you for putting up with our crap” Sara chimed in, reading what was written on her turquoise throw pillow and hardly hid a smile. “You’re always whining that we steal all the pillows and-” Jeff started but was interrupted by Eddie. “Actually, it’s just you, you take all the pillows when you’re on the couch... Actually, you take up the whole couch and the pillows” his roommate corrected him. “Huh, whatever... Now you'’e got your own!” “Oh, there’s something else!” Layla rummaged into the box and found a white memo board, whereas Sara found a small box with markers, notes and magnets. “You, well, we all can leave each other notes and write messages so we won’t live in total chaos anymore” Eddie explained and Stone chimed in, blatantly winked at him. “Yeah yeah, you can leave each other any kind of message, now” “This also counts as a present for your newly restored apartment, when it’ll be finished. I think it’ll take a little longer than the building of the Great Wall of China” Jeff snorted but he, and Eddie and the girls at the same time, kind of stopped for a second to think that it’d soon be over, that Sara and Layla would eventually go back to their place and this adventure together would end. Jeff was always complaining about having his place invaded, Sara couldn’t stand not having privacy, Layla and Eddie mocked their friends, but all of them almost forgot that it was actually temporary and that it’d soon be only a memory, a footnote of their own history. Jeff’s words made them all realize that for a moment, and one moment later they all preferred to put the thought in the back of their minds once again and just forget it. “Thank you so much, these are the best presents...” Layla held the pillow tight and almost got teared up. “Oh no, please, don’t. C’mon, just open your presents, you fuckers! Before the waterworks come” Sara urged the rest of the gang to unwrap their gifts as she put the box on the floor and picked up Layla’s present for her. “A FUZZ PEDAL! YOU GOT ME A FUCKIN’ FUZZ PEDAL!” when he opened the small box and spotted its content, Mike literally jumped up and let it fall back on the table. “Wasn’t that the one you wanted?” Layla asked, not sure how to interpret his reaction. “IT FUCKIN’ IS!” “Oh well, I’m ha-” “MARRY ME” McCready run up to the girl and threw his arms around her neck. “Hehe! It’s not new, it’s second-hand” Layla giggled. “I DON’T CARE, MARRY ME TOMORROW” “Cough cough, my turn now” Stone called as he stood in line behind Mike, holding his sets of band-themed guitar picks. “Ok, there you go” the other guitarist went back to his place, while Gossard took over in the hug. “The Beatles ones are my favorites” he admitted, playfully rubbing Layla’s back until he casually made eye contact with a not amused Eddie. “Your turn now!” Stone sat back and pointed at the singer, who hadn’t unwrapped his gift yet. “Huh? Oh yeah, sure...” he smiled at Layla and as he found out what was in the box his smile turned into a huge grin. “I know that you basically consume a composition book a day so I thought I’d buy you a stock” Layla explained as Eddie was examining the notebooks, which were all either music or sea themed. “Thank you, this is... Oh there are pens too!” “If you take a better look, you’ll find something else” Layla added and Eddie knitted his brows, removing all the composition books and placing them on the table, only to find a mini cassette recorder. “You got me a tape recorder?” “Do you remember when you said you have the best ideas when you don’t have a pen or during your sleep and then when you wake up you’re too groggy for written words and once you recover and wake up it’s all gone? Well, I thought that you could keep this with you and record ideas as they come to you and you could as well keep it on your nightstand and pushing a button is surely easier than holding a pen and writing in a comprehensible language, don’t you think?” Layla illlustrated the reason behind her choice and Eddie listened to her intently, his mouth open and his eyes looking alternatively at the recorder in his hands and at Layla’s face. “You’re... you’re a genius, this is the smartest present I’ve ever got” “So why don’t you hug her? C’mon! Husband number three!” Stone jokingly pushed him towards Layla and he obliged with a quick hug. “I’m happy you liked it.” Layla cheered, then turned towards her roommate “Anyway, all the presents were from me and Sara, so you should queue up for her too” “Over my dead body” Sara warned scornfully as she saw the two guitarists stand up at the same time. “And what about your present? What are you waiting for?” Layla ignored her reaction and asked her about the gift that was still untouched in her hands. “I was waiting for these four jokers to stop being assholes but I guess I’d have to wait forever” her friend shrugged and finally ripped up the wrap paper as she’d wanted to do since the dinner started. “I hope you’ll like it” the other girl added nervously. <I really hope I didn't fuck up with this Christmas gift or I'll be the worst friend ever> Sara opened the box and produced a small glass bottle with a black cap. “HOLY VITTORIO DE SICA!” she basically yelled at the top of her lungs and the guys came closer to see what had caused such a reaction. “Are you insane??? Neighbours are gonna call the police!” Jeff protested. “Coffee!” the girl said enthusiastically, ignoring him. “... You got her coffee?” Mike asked incredulous. “Maybe you should have given her chamomile tea” Stone joked. “Pear!” Sara went on. “You got her coffee and a pear?” Mike asked again. “... Pink pepper, vanilla and patchouli?! This is my favorite perfume ever!” “... Guess you like it” Layla smiled and breathed a sigh of relief as Sara sprayed a little perfume on her wrist and smelled it ecstatic. “I don’t like it, I ADORE IT! I didn’t have it in my collection yet, I love you” she answered and tackled Layla in a bear hug. “You love her but didn’t buy her a present?” Jeff insinuated with a smirk. “Sure I bought her a present, you brain-dead party boy” Sara stuck her tongue out at the bass player and retrieved her gift for Layla, the last one left, from under the Christmas tree. Layla clapped her hands and then proceeded to unwrap the small envelope. “Putain de merde!” she yelled and threw herself over her friend. “What did she say?” Jeff asked Eddie. “I don’t know” “... I thought you knew French” “Well, I don’t know everything... I think she likes the present” “Well, wow, thanks a lot Monsieur Veddèr, we totally wouldn’t understand that without you” Stone sarcastically remarked. “You’re coming with me, right?” Layla asked, waving two tickets around under Sara’s nose. “Of course I’m coming with you, who else would hold you back on your seat while you sing all Valjean's parts?” her friend confirmed, while Layla started dancing around the room murmuring tunes to herself. “Are they concert tickets?” Eddie asked as he happily followed Layla’s moves with his eye. “No, they’re tickets for a musical: Les Misérables” “J'avais rêvé d'une autre viiiiiieeeeeeeeee” Layla started singing loud. “... God, I forgot Fantine” Sara covered her face with her palm. “Mais la vie a tué mes rêêêêêêves” Layla opened the window and started singing at the people passing by down the street. “El, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I have to remind you that we’re actually going to see the English version” The other girl stopped and slowly turned around with a cold expression, walked up to Sara, as everyone was holding their breath, pointed at her and added “Comme on étouffe les derniers criiiiiiiiiiis, d'un animal que l'on achèveeeeeeeeee” The whole gang bursted out laughing and Sara shook her head, while Layla kept on singing and twirling around. “Shit, we lost her”

************************************************************************************************ 

When Eddie found her, Sara was intent on chewing the edge of her paper cup – her gaze fixed upon the wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. “Penny for your thoughts?” he approached her, grabbing a beer from the table where the rest of the refreshments had been arranged. She blinked a couple of times, slowly, then shook her head. “Nothin’ at all” “You seemed pretty interested in that crack” he pointed at a large breach above the kitchen’s entry “You plannin’ on switchin’ to Architecture?” The girl didn’t give him an answer, keeping on gnawing her paper cup, but Ed was still able to see the smile that tugged at her lips. “Man, did I really fail? I thought I got this one right, c’mon!” he theatrically put a hand right above his heart, clutching at his t-shirt’s fabric. “Yeah, yeah, whatever” she grabbed his arm to stop him, but released him almost immediately. “Is something wrong?” “No, it’s just a stupid thing” “You sure? I can promise you I won’t laugh” Sara finally turned and looked at him: “I’m dead serious” “That makes two of us” “Jesus Harold Christ on a fucking rubber crutch… Fine, I’ll spill the beans” she pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a couple of deep breaths “I wanna do something unethical and I’m restrainin’ myself from doing it” “Unethical like what?” “Ugh, Eddie… I can’t even pronounce it” “Should I worry?” “… IwannaseeTheGodfatherIIIevenifitsucks” she finally conceded, talking a mile a minute. “Think you could rewind the tape and play it again, but this time at the right speed?” “I said that I wanna see The Godfather III, even if it’s an unbelievable shit!” “… and that’s the problem?” “I told ya it was a stupid thing – I wanna go because I love the first two movies and I’d like to have some closure to this saga, but that would mean destroying my reputation of movie snob, fuck” “… I could go with you” Ed blurted out, while the girl looked at him as if he had just grown another head “You could go with me: if we meet somebody that knows you, we’ll just say that you’re the expert and I begged you to come with me because I can’t remember all the characters – which technically it’s true, we wouldn’t be lying” “You’d do this?!” “Why not? I mean, it’s Francis Ford Coppola” “Yeah, but-” “We should decide when to do this, so before that we can organize a proper re-watch of the first two films…” “… Why?” The guy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you doin’ this for me? I’ve been nothing but a mean bitch to you ever since we met, I just… I just can’t-” Sara stopped talking, lowering her gaze and finally crushing the paper cup she was still holding. “You’ve been nothing but a nice bitch; you helped me to heal things with Layla, and the others told me that you even took my side more than once” he gave her a genuine smile “You’re a bit rough, but that’s just how you cope with things: I get it, sometimes I can be like that” “You? An asshole like me? I don’t think so” “Oh, believe me: there have been times when I have been – and a glorious one, if I may say so” “You may, you may” she finally chuckled and he smiled again, relieved. “So yeah, you’re not a shitty person at all” Eddie gave her a flick on a cheek “Now let’s rejoin the others, there’s still time to think about when to go to the movies” The two of them started to make their way to the kitchen, when the girl suddenly stopped and spoke again. “… Ed?” “Yeah?” “Thank you – I might be a nice bitch, but you’re pretty decent yourself” They shared a smirk and finally rejoined the rest of their friends.

************************************************************************************************

“Ok so we ate all the food, we did the presents thing, we hugged, we kissed-” “Who kissed? I didn’t kiss anyone” Mike, sitting beside Jeff, sprang to attention. “I was just saying... We cheered, we sang” the bass player was slouching on the couch and went on listing the things they had done, counting on his fingers. “In French” Mike pointed out. “In French. We threw water balloons at those fuckin’ kids in the street who dared to criticize Layla’s singing skills” Jeff went on counting, nudging at Layla, who was sprawled on the other side. “Water bags” McCready corrected him. “What?” “Technically they weren’t balloons, they were plastic bags filled with water” “They were just two bags, then we started simply throwing water at them, with no containers” Layla added. “Ok ok, so we did that. And now? What do we do?” Jeff asked himself and the others as Sara and Eddie were coming back from the kitchen into the living room. “Hey, you two, any ideas?” Layla asked them cheerfully, pretending not to eye them suspiciously. “Huh... I don’t know... Truth or dare?” Eddie shrugged and the teenager inside him was considering the different possibilities he could ask to or be asked by Layla in that kind of game. “How old are you? 12?” Stone gave him a side look from the armchair he was sitting on. “Strip poker!” Mike suggested. “I’m gonna strip the rather small amount of flesh off your bones if you say that again” Sara threatened him, grabbing one of the markers the guys gave to her and Layla and pointing it at the guitarist. “... With that thing?” Jeff tiredly raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, so it’s more painful!” “Ok, guys, shut up, I think I’ve got the thing” Stone stated then stood up and walked out somewhere through the hallway, only to appear a few secs later with an immediately recognizable box in his hands. “Jesus, are you fuckin’ kidding me?!” Mike exclaimed. “Twister! I almost forgot you had left it here after the last party! Good choice, it’s gonna be fun” Jeff suddenly stood up from the couch, clapping his hands. “It’s gonna be fun for you, not for the poor souls who are gonna be crashed by your whole self while also having their bones broken in the process” McCready complained and almost shivered as he remembered their last drunk Twister game. “Oh, Jeff’s gonna be careful this time... ain’t that right, Jeffrey?” Stone addressed the bass player with a devilish grin. “It’s not my fault if you don’t know how to play and don’t know the rules” Ament shrugged and took the box from the guitarist’s hands. “Stone’s rules are cruel” Mike sulked. “Stop it, Mikey, Sara's playing too” Stone blatanly winked at the guitarist who turned his pout into a smile. “In this case, I’m in. When do we start?” “I’m not gonna play your stupid game, Gossard” Sara tried to keep it cool and shook her head. “She can't play, she’s wearing a skirt” Layla explained, stating the obvious. <Oh my god, really??? Sorry Layla, we didn't notice! Haha> Stone laughed internally while he was pretending to be taken aback from the revelation. “Wha... oh, right! I wasn’t thinking about it, sorry” “What if we promise not to look?” Mike suggested. “What if I promise to claw your eyes out with the same marker?” Sara retorted with a huge smile on her face that frightened the guitarist. “... Ok, Sara’s gonna be the ref” he said as Jeff and Eddie were unboxing the game.

[gaarfielf]

my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some

Castle of Cagliostro (10)

favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.

Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)

Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.

Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)

Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.

The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)

The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.

Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)

The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol

Hemingway Papers (8)

They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing

Return the Treasure (7)

Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)

From Siberia With Love (7) 

The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.

Elusiveness of the Fog (7)

Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.

Pilot Film (7)

That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long

Another Page (7)

Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.

Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)

The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.

Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)

i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.

Sweet Lost Night (6)

I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.

Dead or Alive (6)

The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.

Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)

Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.

Napoleon's Dictionary (6)

Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?

Mystery of Mamo (6)

Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.

Red vs Green (5)

Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.

Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)

They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.

Dragon of Doom (5)

I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.

Voyage to Danger (4)

tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.

First Contact (4)

I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.

Columbus Files (4)

This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.

Seven Days Rhapsody (3)

The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.

Alcatraz Connection (2.5)

Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.

Missed by a Dollar (2.5)

Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??

Gold of Babylon (2)

This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.

Angel Tactics (2)

TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.

Harimao’s Treasure (2)

nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.

Twilight Gemini (2)

this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.

Princess of the Breeze (2)

How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.

Return of the Magician (1)

I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.

[dippedanddripped]

In 2005, a man named Howard Stapleton developed The Mosquito, an anti-loitering device designed to disperse groups of teenagers from public places by playing an annoying sound at a high frequency that only the ears of young people can hear. In 2016, a Chinese entrepreneur named Zhang Yiming launched a video app called TikTok, the equal opposite of that device. What’s fascinating about the rise of TikTok isn’t its popularity with the youth, but its ability to profoundly alienate anyone born before 2000. This March, Senator John Hawley introduced legis­lation to ban federal employees from downloading the app on any government-issued devices. Alleged connections to the Chinese Communist Party aside, the world’s most downloaded app is as idiosyncratic as its generation.

While Instagram and Twitter seem obvious for people of all ages, TikTok’s lip-syncing antics come across to outsiders like a secret message chiseled into the lyrics of a Dua Lipa song. Yet the Chinese app is in many ways the most strangely egalitarian of platforms: sometimes videos become popular because of a combination of editing skills and cleverness, and then just as often for the fact that they kind of don’t make any sense. In a time when almost everything has actually stopped making sense, we caught up with some of the world’s biggest Tokkers about, you know, what makes them Tik.

/ Jason Nocito, Silk jacket GUCCI; Cap, belt and custom pants LARRAY’S OWN

Larray @larrayeeee (9.4M followers)

“When I talk, I just talk and don’t stop fuckin’ talking. When you watch my videos, it’s like, ‘Oh I’m hanging out with my best friend.’ That’s the vibe I give off, I guess. A lot of people can connect to me because I’m insecure. I talk about my insecurities in my videos. I talk about being annoying. I talk about all the shit that people are going through. The first video I ever made was with my little sister. I was twerking on the stairs and she came out of nowhere and started copying my moves. By the way, she was, like, seven. That’s the one that really put me on the map. I always have liked filming myself. It’s kind of a bad habit at this point because I can’t stop recording. There was a point in my life where I would turn on the camera and instantly become this crazy bitch persona. And then I realized doing that isn’t going to get me anywhere, it isn’t going to make me happy. Now it’s just naturally me. In the past, I used to stare at the camera, but now I barely look at the camera because it’s like talking to a friend. If you’re looking at the camera you feel fuckin’ weird. It’s a weird fuckin’ thing that we’re all talking to a camera. We’re sociopaths, basically.”

/ Jason Nocito, Vest, blouse and skirt FENDI; Shoes JUWAN’S OWN

Juwan Gutierrez @misocolorful (3.9M followers)

“My proudest moments are when I finally get my favorite social media influencers and makeup brands to notice and interact with me. I wanted to work at Sephora or MAC, but now they want to collab with me? And put me on business trips? There are a lot of quirky social media people out there. I wasn’t expecting anyone to like me. At first, TikTok was brutal, but they grew to like me because I’m very open. Honesty is a power move, honestly. Once social media dies down, I want to have my own makeup brand. Everyone wants to look good and makeup is the closest step there. I know natural beauty is a thing but it gets boring. Don’t you want to have blue eyeliner and red lips? When someone scrolls through my feed, I want them to get shocked. Boom, in your face, like Thomas the Tank Engine.”

/ Jason Nocito, Jersey SUPREME; Shoes and sweatshirt DOLCE & GABBANA (ALL MICHAEL’S OWN);Track pants PERRY ELLIS

Michael Le @justmaiko (23.1M followers)

“Literally I’m on TikTok 12 hours a day now. If I’m not on TikTok, I’m answering emails. If I’m not answering emails, I’m at a photoshoot. It’s very fast-paced. I just have to keep up because it went from zero to 100. I’ve done social media as a career for three years, but this year has been a 10x moment because I can support my family and myself. In a matter of two weeks, I grew a million followers ’cause the algorithm is so perfect. It doesn’t pick and choose who will go viral. It’s not biased. If you have good content and good engagement, the algorithm will push you up to the ‘For You’ page, and from there you’ll grow famous without having to worry about paying for ads. I want to be known for my personality. I want to show me and not a mask. I’m not me without social media. My end goal is to become a Will Smith, where everything I touch is gold. He’s not stuck as an actor. People love him for him and that’s what I want.”

/ Jason Nocito, Bike shorts and turtleneck MISBHV; Socks HUF; Shoes CROCS (LIV’S OWN); Vintage letterman jacket LIV’S OWN

Liv Huffman @lilbittylivie (610k followers)

“TikTok shows you your total likes, and at this point, I have 28 million or something. It’s a hard number to quantify. I recently went to a convention called Playlist Live and it was weird walking around and having people recognize me from my videos. Everybody on the app has at least some form of narcissism. You kind of have to in order to put yourself on the Internet like that. I like doing it because a lot of friends that I grew up with don’t live in LA anymore, so it’s a way to stay productive doing something that I enjoy rather than just sitting on my ass doing nothing. Or, not to get too emotional, but hating myself or being boring or being lazy. For me, it’s a very motivating thing, but I know that for some it stems from a place of loneliness. Everyone just wants to be a part of something.”

/ Jason Nocito, Logo button-down shirt and sweater vest DIOR MEN

Corey Campbell @imcoreycampbell (2.9M followers)

“I feel like the biggest reason people watch me is because of my looks, to be honest with you. But the people that stick around, that are consistently engaging with me, they’ve watched my Live videos, they’ve watched my YouTube, they’ve watched interviews that I’ve had where they get to understand who I actually am instead of just this face that’s doing music videos. It’s about confidence and motivation. Lip-syncing has helped me get more comfortable with what people would think of me as a musician. I definitely connect with my audience, but I wouldn’t say that’s what I’m really into. Outside of social media, I have a music career, I have a modeling career, I’m getting into acting. I definitely have other things going on.”

/ Jason Nocito, Turtleneck and shirt PRADA; Earrings GAUGE’S OWN

Gauge Burek @heir.of.atticus (1.6M followers)

“I started putting freckles and blush on my face and did a ‘pretty boy’ video, and it did really well and it made me feel really happy. I don’t like my nose, so the freckles make it look smaller and the blush looks good on me. It’s hard to explain to my grandparents because they have no idea what it is, but I tell them that I film myself doing anything. They don’t really understand what that means. I keep myself very reserved for the most part. I don’t give a lot of myself out but some people try to know. At one point, a bunch of my fan accounts were getting really mad at each other because one person said they followed me when I first started. People know my age and where I’m from but not anything real. I’ll film four or five videos in one day and then get completely tired the next two days because half that day was just me looking at myself and deleting and then making another video and deleting. You get tired of seeing yourself.”

/ Jason Nocito, Silk mens shirt MISBHV; Camouflage vest LOUIS VUITTON

Chase Hudson @lilhuddy 20.4M followers)

“I was in the 7th grade the first time I recorded myself. Dubsmash was a huge thing, and my best friend and I would make dancing videos over and over again. We kept them to ourselves because we were just messing around being boys but that started a lifelong passion. I do so many different things — I dance, I vlog. There’s no one word for it. It’s just entertaining. I’ve learned more and more what content does best. I’ve learned how to get more comfortable behind the camera. I’ve learned how to dance a little bit — I used to be terrible. It can get rough being online all day. I’ve kind of lost myself. I’m judged on everything that I do. Some people just genuinely don’t like me, maybe some people are jealous. I’m not sure. I’ve never been in a hater’s position. I’ve always loved everyone.”

[animentality]

"Stop whining about all the Marley chapters, Isayama is just trying to show us that there are two sides-"

Listen. I know you think you're some deep intellectual for understanding something he's been establishing since he fucking introduced Annie, Bert, and Reiner. And you think that your cutesy textposts about how people who don't like the Marley chapters are just dumb are symbols of your mental superiority. And I'll let you believe it because it's hard for people to acknowledge their critical thinking is mediocre. That's ok. But I do need to tell you that snk has been driven entirely by its air of mystery, terror, and human-driven action. When something has been driven by one great mystery....it should NOT GO ON FOR TOO LONG AFTER THE MYSTERY HAS BEEN REVEALED. Seriously. Y'all are diehards. Anything could happen and you'd praise it. And whatever, that's fine too. But I'm telling you right now that from a story telling perspective, you can go to any perspective you want. But not close to the END. You do that in the middle or the beginning. You don't shift away from characters you've been establishing for YEARS. ESPECIALLY not when everything you've been hyping up for years has been revealed. We know the entire world of snk now. Snk doesn't have an air of mystery anymore, we know everything that's happening. This protracted war arc is painful, almost as painful as the political uprising arc. It's necessary but entertaining? No, it's Isayama playing with his world war 2 technology/history/military fetish. He's trying to expand his story outside of just the eldian characters on paradis but damn if it ain't boring. I've said this time and time again. Characters are what make a world engaging. A world without characters that are likable, relatable, or in some way significant to us is utterly devoid of life, no matter how detailed and vibrant it seems. All of these new characters are essentially just the old crew, just before they got fucked up. They're goofy and supposed to be funny, just like the old crew, and isayama's going for a "they're kids just like the 104th were!" but I'm not a goddamn idiot. I KNEW that already. It's old news. Isayama's shit was so good because we weren't expecting a shonen to be so dark or to have such interesting characters with strange quirks. But now we've already seen this shit. Now he's just showing us some more quirky characters, just like before. We didn't need the new kids. We're completely numb to these new kids cuz every fuckin character Isayama has ever introduced has been a whacky but interesting person. He's literally done this with Levi's entire squad, with the 104th, with the commanders. The fact that y'all are still falling for his tricks notwithstanding. I see that he's a one trick pony. But he doesn't see it. You know how you hide a writing weakness like that? You end the story. Let people think you're an amazing author. It's what ishida sui should've done. But nope. Isayama doesn't want to quit while he's ahead so here we go. We didn't need a protracted war arc. Snk doesn't have the kind of horror element that was so exciting in the beginning anymore, since the Titans were this weird creepy monster that no one really understands. Now we know pretty much everything about titans. The action it has now is world war 2-parallel driven, which is honestly just not as exciting as the unique and wildly inventive 3DMG. Like if I wanted to watch world war 2 weaponry being thrown around at walls, I'd watch a documentary. And now I don't even like this kind of action where it's all world war 2 driven. Plus I don't like that Isayama is going there either. If he's trying to make some bizarre Japanese apologist bullshit, I'm going to be mad on a whole other level. Japan already doesn't apologize for its war crimes against china or South Korea, we don't need its most popular manga making some bizarre message about how deep down all humans are evil. And that the people wearing "armbands" were people too. Cuz Isayama, I've been faithful. I've defended you before. Don't make me look like an ass for defending a Nazi apologist, ill spill my drink.

[gayerandshinier]

Frank’s Adventures with Demon Summoning and Star Wars Night Lights.

Based on this prompt -

delivery man: delivery for...Sacred Mistress of Dark Spirits and All that is Unholy?

me: (standing under my ebony Victorian doorway, stroking a large raven in my arms) oh cool my Pillow Pet, where do I sign???

Summary: It was never really a dull day for me, being a delivery man.

Chapter 1

I rarely had a boring day. As bad as it seems, being a delivery man was actually a pretty fun job. Of course, I'd much rather be in some shitty band playing my goddamn heart out, but I could deal with this. Yeah, it's not too bad.

Day to day, door to door. You meet a lot of different people, y’know? I love having an insight on people's lives, it keeps me entertained.

Some of my favourite moments in life included strangers I’d met while delivering parcels. Such as that one time Mrs Crocker’s pet toad got out of its tank and onto the porch. I spent a good twenty minutes chasing that damn frog.

But I knew today would be a little more interesting.

I knew it'd be an exciting day when the package was being sent to someone with some weird fuckin’ name. Probably not their given name, I might add.

As I approach the place my GPS had sent me to, I notice that I’m heading straight for this huge fucking house, all black with a deep purple trim. I had definitely made a house exactly like that on The Sims at some point.

I park outside the gothic fortress which honestly looks like it could suck my soul out from just looking at it. I make sure I have the right parcel and address before I walk up the gloomy pathway to the large victorian style doorway.

I knock, and wait.

Not even two seconds later I hear an “Oh fuck,” and “Mikey put the candles out. No, put that away. Tell him- them to be quiet.”

The voice got gradually louder as it got closer to the door.

The door opens, creaking as it does so.

I definitely wasn't expecting what I saw before me. A pale individual, probably male, but almost too pretty? with shoulder length black hair that curled slightly at the ends, a small, pixie nose, and bright, hazel eyes. But I had seen plenty of attractive people before, sure. But that's not what was unexpected.

The person who just opened the door is wearing a full length, black hooded cape and a necklace of animal bones? And has thick black makeup underneath his eyes.

He smiles at me expectantly. Oh shit

“Fuck, uh. Parcel for.. uh, Sacred Lord of Dark Spirits and All that is Unholy?” I almost stumble on the name. Now that I think about it, it fits him quite well.

The guy smiles wider, showing some small, blunt teeth. “Wicked, my Star Wars night light! Where do I sign?” Alright then. He reaches out for the pen and I point to where his signature is needed. ‘GWay’ his signature read. Right.

He takes the parcel from my hands and thanks me. Just as I begin to turn away and the door starts closing, I hear the loudest fucking noise come from this guy’s house.

He starts yelling at this Mikey person again before he looks back through the open door, right at me. I can't really tell what his expression is, but it seems as if it's a mix between shock and uncertainty.

He reaches out and grabs my shoulder. “What did you see?” He asks me.

I stumble over my words. “Wh-what? What do you m-”

“What. did. you. see?” He repeats, his tone harder, and more hostile. Something in his eyes flashes, like the spark of a lighter as someone, no, something moves behind him. It's odd, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to focus on it at all. It’s like my eyes don't want to see it.

The pale man grips my shoulder harder, causing me to wince in slight pain. I look back to him, his expression is dark and his jaw is clenched.

I don't know what the fuck is going on, but all I know is that I need to get out of here. Now.

-

Welcome to @gayandshiny‘s fic blog! Chapter 2 up soon, kids!

[mitsunari]

if you’re looking at this, i suspect you don’t know what you’re getting into. my discussion and realization of suicidal options is not something you’re obligated to entertain. talking to you, or others, is only a temporary assuage, and as time has passed, my belief in the words, sympathies, and so on from other people has diminished. to put it simply, i am cynical. strangers and friends may as well be one and the same; my brain does not trust what people tell me. it has come to accept that people are full of shit, they say things based on their so-called obligations or maybe they might say what they think is true but i think is baloney (my [x] being [positive adjective] when it’s actually [really fucking negative adjective] and i’m not sure why you’re saying it’s [positive adjective] when it’s not which means you’re a liar and must be lying about everything, because if it was true and [positive adjective] then why would i feel like it’s [negative adjective].) 

you’re all just fucking liars. telling me one thing, telling others another, wasting my time. i’m fucking ugly. don’t waste my time telling me i’m pretty. i’m fucking useless. don’t waste my time telling me i’ve got use. cause if it was true, i wouldn’t feel the way i do. i wouldn’t feel this way. i just wouldn’t. stupid encouragements like you’ve got so much to live for, you brighten someone’s day, you’ve got dreams left, you’re important, like bitch really? really? that wholesome shit doesn’t do it for me. it just makes me hate more, hate those words more, hate you more, it’s fucking fake, it’s all fucking fake. it’s fucking contrived bullshit with no proof. no, i don’t have shit to live for. no, i don’t have any dreams left or at all for that matter. i’m not important at all. like who the fuck really believes that. i literally don’t matter to anyone. no one gives a shit about me. i don’t give a shit about anyone so why would anyone give a shit about me anyway. what’s the fucking point? what is the absolute fucking point? i’m boring. i’m useless. i’m a right fuckin bitch who no one can be honest to ‘cause i’m a nuclear warhead, and i don’t believe anyone anyway because it’s all bullshit.

so at this point, if you’ve past this beginning and want to keep reading, fine. it’s just death anyway. just another number for the census, nothing more. 

i would like to die but i don’t want to make a mess or cause an inconvenience. what usually stops me is the fact i don’t want my landlord to find my animals but the snakes could be fridged and i can give the cats to someone who would take care of them. i just don’t have a way to be euthanized. my state has death with dignity laws that only apply to terminally ill patients. i can’t buy a functional guillotine, and i doubt I could give someone enough money to behead me with a sword. my state has lax gun laws; the only permit needed is for carrying a handgun with you but guns are expensive.

i just want to die.  i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die. i just want to die.

make it quick. get it over with. i’m useless enough as it is. can’t do anything right, i’d probably bollocks up my own attempt if i tried. probably wouldn’t die immediately if i jumped somewhere.

the coast is really pretty. it’s only an hour away.

maybe the pacific will be kind to me. it’ll be cold, numbing, big, endless. the waves can bear me away somewhere i can’t come back from. drowning is peaceful silence once the body stops putting up a fight. there’s sea lions and orcas. google says there are 16 species of sharks off my state’s coast. tiger shark, great white, salmon shark, and mako shark are big enough for me. the fog is plentiful. the wind won’t bother me. i suppose the salt water will be rough at first but it will good seasoning for anything that wants to eat me.

it’s sorta weird, funny, eye-opening when the realization of “yes, perfect, that could work” blooms into fruition like yes, it’s an hour away, it’s a beautiful, great, terrible, powerful sea, no bloaty or bloody mess in the apartment, i’m biodegradable, no body for my parents to hassle with in regards to claiming or burying unless they want to fly out to take home some of my belongings.

i have a truck block but no chain, not anymore, but there’s lowe’s and home depot for that. i think that’s the heaviest thing i own besides my car, but driving that into the ocean would be bad for the animal friends. couldn’t inconvenience them. the car still works. it can be sold to manage my estate (lack thereof, probably the rest of my lease, 3 months worth of rent til the lease starts up anew. probably could sell all my shit if they wanted $1800)

drowning sounds good. sounds cathartic. sounds like letting go. 

the pacific does not show mercy. it does not care about my name or who i am or what i’ve done or how useless i am or how pointless i am or how incompetent i am. it takes what it’s given. if i let go, it’ll take. if i give it everything, it will accept everything and more. if i seek out a rip current, it will meet me without remorse, without regrets. it’s soothing to be welcomed so ruthlessly. 

the pacific would not lie to me. it has no expectations of me. it’s not selfish or conniving or full of shit.

it simply resides in its place.

there is enough space for me there. i won’t be a burden to the ocean. i’ll just go unconscious and sleep. sleeping is all i’m good for anyway. 

sleep. sleep. sleep.

now that i’ve chosen how, it’s a matter of when, i suppose. i’ve got company coming in a month so can’t die before that. the lease renewal is usually like a month and a half before it ends (june->july is the hump).

die. die. die. 

some day. someday some day

someday. one day.

gotta put my ducks in a row too. clean up my place.

it’s a lot to think about.