#this song has stuck inside my head for a while if I didn't draw something and let it out my mind would explode

[asmilethatshines]

"Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard

Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars

Yeah, we'll be counting stars"

[cupidsdescendant]

"Roses won't bring you back"

okay. I know I said I hate Spy but I've been listening to La Vie en Rose from Bioshock and....my heart has been aching to write a sad French drabble. Listen to the song while you read! You'll get the best experience. promise ;)

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.”

You believed that you were in a loving relationship with him. Yes, he had a reputation and the gossip had made you believe he was immoral, but he was a charmer and he caught your heart like a fish on a wire. You didn't know during the entire relationship that was filled with sweet kisses, slow dances during the sunset, and promised tenderness there was another woman. She sat on her rococo chair and gazed at the glistening lake that had stars sparkling off the reflection and the moon piercing through her heart, knowing that at a time like this, he was still out there and not home. The clock ticking had reminded the other woman that he wasn't coming back. The smell of his cigarettes faded, stronger smells taking over and she realized she became an afterthought, a memory. An experience. You never knew that she existed and when the rumors had spread around town the ache in your heart doubled. You weren't just backstabbed by him, you also backstabbed an innocent woman without even knowing. Spy had packed his bags and never came back. He knew what he had done was wrong, but he didn't care too much about the feelings of the people around him. Years of assassinating and killing people it didn't mean much to him whether someone would weep themselves to sleep. But when Spy had gotten a letter from your father, begging him to come home he knew something was wrong.

There you were in your casket. Family and friends lined up to give their condolences to your husk. He anticipated his turn as he let his cigarettes turn to ash in the men's restroom, For the first time in years you would see him without his balaclava or see him in general. His eyes outlined the blue tiles of the floor and he imagined your face again. Your smiles and your lips, every intimate moment you had with him, the secrets that escaped your mouths. With the last draw of his cigarette, he crushed it, took a deep breath, and grabbed the bouquet of roses. His apology for everything. They were deep red and smelled delicate. The floral scent followed Spy with each step to the doors where the service took place. The door creaked open and he stuck his head inside to find everyone staring at him. Their faces changed emotions once they realized the man in front of them. Judgment lingered as he walked down the aisle. He wanted to cry out that he was sorry, that he was stupid and young, all he wanted to do was tell every single soul that knew what he did "imsorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry. "imsorrysorrysorry" for lying to your family "imsorrysorrysorry" for lying to your friends "imsorrysorrysorry" for breaking his promise

He could get on his knees and apologize to everyone in the room except you. He can give everyone around him an explination and tell his side of the story but it will never be you. The person that deserved to know everything.

He'd lay the bouquet on the corner of your casket and stared at your life-less body, allowing guilt to take over. He couldn't bury his past any further, it struck the bottom of its grave, so the only thing he could do it bring his skeleton out and take responsibility. Spy knew it would fall on deaf ears but with a final whisper "Je suis désolé mon amour. les roses ne résoudront rien." (I am sorry my love. Roses won't fix anything.)

he let your soul rest. Again, this was just a little drabble <3 Hope you lovelies enjoyed it! I have a lot of works in the drafts but I just had to get this out of my system lol. Have a good day!

[julemmaes]

Robyn

Rowaelin Month, Day Ten

A/N: I'd planned on posting them in order, but you get what you get. Idk when the other prompts will come tbf. I hope soon. Anyway, I managed to write over 6k words today and I'm pretty fucking proud.

This is just fluff over fluff, so yep enjoy!!

Word count: 3,047

Rowan was unbelievably late as he sped through the streets of Orynth.

So late that the school had called not only him, but also the front desk of the place where he worked when he hadn't answered the call on his personal phone. Sorscha, his assistant, had entered his office with an embarrassed smile on her lips, as if she didn't want to tell him that he had forgotten for the umpteenth time to pick up his daughter from school.

Lorcan had joined him, for some strange reason, but Rowan had stopped bothering when it came to his best friend. He'd been trying to figure out how he reasoned for years and had come to the conclusion that there was no logical sense in the actions of the man sitting next to him, who was currently singing at the top of his lungs to one of the songs on the Frozen CD - which much to the chagrin of both of them, had gotten stuck in his car radio months before, forcing them into hours of torture.

He would never deny that the songs were all quite catchy, but after the sixteenth time Rowan had had to listen to Let It Go at maximum volume, his positive opinion of the film had begun to waver.

As they pulled into the school parking lot, Rowan noticed with deep regret that the only cars still there were those of the teachers and school staff.

They both got out of the car, Rowan walking quickly towards the entrance while Lorcan dragged behind him.

He greeted the caretakers sitting at the entrance, who returned a big smile. A smile that grew even wider when his large, imposing friend entered a few moments later. He stopped to talk to the old ladies and Rowan walked down the corridor he knew led to Robyn's classroom.

He could hear muffled voices from inside the teachers' room on the left and the one he knew belonged to Miss Galathynius coming from the right. He looked out over the classroom, spotting the two people sitting at a desk.

As soon as his daughter saw him, her eyes widened and a huge smile flashed across her face.

No words. No "hello, daddy!" or "I missed you!" from the little girl.

Her teacher turned as she leapt out of her chair and ran towards him, hugging his legs and looking up at him. Rowan smiled at her in turn, running a hand over her hair that was shot in every direction.

"Hello, little bird," he murmured to her. The child's smile widened even more if that was possible.

The woman a few feet away from them pulled herself upright, crossing her arms over her chest and offering a sincere smile to the child, who hid behind his thighs.

Rowan was about to tell her that Robyn was shy with everyone like this, ready to defend his daughter's behaviour as he was used to doing in front of every adult, but he was beaten to the punch.

"It's good to see you, Mr Whitethorn," she said, extending a hand. Rowan shook it without hesitation. "Actually, I just wanted to write you a letter regarding Robyn," she continued, never taking her eyes off the little girl. "Nothing serious," she hastened to reassure him when Rowan grimaced, "quite the contrary. Robyn is remarkably good. One of the best in the class, though I shouldn't offer that information so bluntly."

Miss Galathynius winked at him, but he couldn't process what he'd just been told.

"Sorry, could you-"

The little hands clamped around his trousers tightened a fraction more and Rowan looked down, trying to figure out what was bothering his daughter, but then something happened that he hadn't even dared to dream about in recent times.

"You're here!"

The little girl broke off and ran away from him in less than the blink of an eye.

Rowan turned just in time to see Lorcan grab Robyn in mid-air, spinning her around as he brought her to his chest and showered her with kisses. The loud, incessant laughter that erupted from her seemed too much coming from that fragile little body, but he never tired of hearing it.

"Why hello baby!" said Lorcan laughing in turn, starting to tickle her until she begun to rebel and he was forced to let her slide to the floor. Robyn was still laughing at the top of her lungs and nearly fell to the ground as she squealed left and right, letting herself be pushed around by the closest thing to an uncle she had ever had.

When Rowan turned back to the woman, she was wide-eyed and her lips slightly parted as she watched the massive man dressed completely in black and the menacing face turn into a completely different person the second he had seen Robyn.

He chuckled, "I know, it's not every day you get to see a little girl be so comfortable with a brute like that."

Lorcan, who was listening to everything, looked him straight in the eye and without stopping smiling and playing with the little girl, mouthed to him to fuck off.

"Well, yeah. You caught me a little off guard." she confessed, still shocked to hear how Robyn was having a full conversation with Lorcan. They couldn't hear anything of what she was actually saying, but even just the fact she was talking to someone seemed to have Aelin unsettled.

She returned her attention to Rowan and let out a breath that sounded more like a giggle, "I've never heard her laugh before."

He nodded, blushing a little at the teacher's surprised but relieved tone.

"I'm sure the dean warned you about the problem she has," he said in a low voice. He grimaced at her poor choice of words, "I mean, not problem, but the difficulty she finds in interacting with people she doesn't know."

Liar, he told himself. Robyn hadn't spoken to anyone but him and Lorcan since the day Lyria had died. It wasn't a difficulty, but a response to the trauma that prevented her from speaking to anyone who wasn't part of her immediate family.

"I know, I know. We've been looking for solutions together." she informed him. "I give her a white board every morning. Come on, I'll show you." she turned to the desk they were sitting at earlier and raised the magnetic board, on which a few words were scribbled on. "I'll write here what she might need. Yes. No. I need to go to the bathroom. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry." she read, listing the various options. Rowan gaped. "We've only just started going over the alphabet for a second time, so she can't really read or write yet, as I imagine you know, but the little drawings next to each sentence help her."

She continued talking, but he couldn't quite follow.

The woman in front of him - aside from being breathtakingly beautiful - had done as much as she could to help her child with communication.

"Mr. Whitethorn-"

"Rowan. Please, call me Rowan." he said, clearing his throat once he realized how hoarse it sounded to his ears. Lorcan walked up to them at that point, still holding Robyn in his arms and positioned himself next to him, letting their shoulders touch in a comforting way.

"Call me Aelin, then," she smiled at them both. Then she made a small grimace, turning to Rowan, "I wanted to ask if it bothered you, that I sought a solution like that. Maybe I put her in distress, embarrassed her. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I wanted to solve this on my own. I really wanted to discuss it with you, with your husband too, to avoid misunderstandings. Maybe we could arrange a meeting."

He was about to tell her that she had given him the exact opposite of annoyance, that he had been more than pleased that she had helped Robyn this way, when her words finally registered.

Lorcan, beside him, had opened his mouth wide and his lips were slowly bending into a mischievous smile.

Rowan furrowed his brow, "I'm sorry, what?"

Aelin's smile seemed to falter. "A meeting? With you? To talk about how to handle the situation," then she shifted her gaze to Lorcan, "You're more than welcome to join as well. I didn't know Robyn had two dads, I apologise for assuming Robyn had a mum and dad. That was very rude of me-"

"I love this," Lorcan whispered, laughing in shock. He turned to Rowan with eyes that sparkled with amusement, "I would definitely be the top."

Rowan looked at him with an expression of complete shock on his face, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Robyn gasped, opening her eyes wide and bringing a hand to her mouth, pointing then to Rowan's.

"Yeah, sorry, love. I shouldn't have said the bad word." he apologised, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. He turned back to Miss Galathynius, "I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but we're not married."

"No need to lie, sweetie. I'm sure Aelin," he gave her a knowing look, "doesn't mind at all about our relationship status."

Aelin nodded, "Well, yes. That doesn't change anything. Mr..." she turned to Lorcan, searching for a name.

"Salvaterre."

"Mr. Salvaterre can still attend. The fact that you are not yet married is no reason why you cannot both be present at the meeting. You don't have to worry, we are a very tolerant school and if anyone bothers you, you can come directly to me."

A sound of sheer glee escaped Lorcan.

Aelin continued, "I mean it. I was pleased to see both of you today. I was also pleased to see Robyn smiling so much." she concluded, looking the little one in the face.

Rowan took a deep breath, bracing himself, "No, I meant, we're not a couple. We're not gay. He's her uncle."

The woman's blonde eyebrows shot up and a second later she turned almost as red as the dress Robyn was wearing as Lorcan shook his head muttering something very much like 'you're no fun', which made Robyn giggle.

"Why did you even get off the car?" he asked him exasperated.

Lorcan shrugged, "Because I missed my little bean, you monster." he replied, clutching Robyn to his chest. The little girl clutched Lorcan's shirt in her chubby little hands and Rowan huffed, shaking his head.

Aelin brought her hands to her face, leaning against the desk behind her. She shook her head, her face still hidden, "Oh, god. I'm so sorry."

Lorcan let out a dry laugh, "Don't worry about it. It was fun while it lasted." then he turned to Rowan again, who was still trying to recover from the idea of being involved in a relationship with his friend, "You're really no fun."

"Yeah, no fun dad." repeated Robyn.

Silence fell over the class. Rowan looked at her with wide eyes and blinked once, twice. Robyn was staring at him with a sweet scowl that mimicked so much that of the man who was still holding her, but Rowan couldn't get over the fact that his daughter had spoken while Aelin was still beside them.

He was about to talk, noticing how Robyn had started squirming in Lorcan's arms, when there was a knock at the door.

They both turned, Aelin peering over Rowan's shoulder, and saw the figure of a petite girl with black hair and eyes standing in the doorway, watching them with her head slightly bent to the side. She had a tag on her t-shirt that was too colourful to belong to someone who didn't work in a school with children, so he guessed she was a teacher herself. Besides, Rowan felt like he'd seen her elsewhere. Probably every day when he picked Robyn up from school, he said to himself.

"I know you're not supposed to eavesdrop but I stopped by earlier and heard you were a couple of dads," she said by way of introduction. "I just wanted to reassure you that the school is an extremely safe place. I'm the one who did most of the interviews with the parents," that's where they had met then, "and one of the questions that is asked is just about the tolerance of the people who will be attending the school."

Aelin watched her, remaining silent the whole time and putting on an amused smile, nodded, "That's what I was telling them. How tolerant the school is. They make such a cute couple, don't you think, Elide?"

Rowan turned to her, arching an eyebrow, silently asking her what she was doing. The woman, as if she could truly understand what he was trying to convey to her, nodded her head towards Lorcan, who Rowan only then noticed was standing weirdly, his eyes fixed on the woman in the doorway.

He grinned, deciding to take his revenge right away. "Oh, yes. Thank you so much for the reassurance," Rowan began to play along as well. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lorcan turn towards him, dropping Robyn to the floor, who made a disapproving noise at being dumped so suddenly. "We are happy to know that this school is a safe place for our daughter. And for us."

Elide offered him a blinding smile, "Good. I'm happy to hear that you are pleased so far. And I am happy that Aelin is the one who is taking your daughter's class. She's the best one here."

Rowan didn't know her yet, but he knew the thing Elide had just said could only be true.

"Well," she said again, giving them an apologetic smile, "I really must go now, but if you need anything, you can find all my contact details on the website. Have a nice day!"

Aelin and Rowan said their goodbyes, thanking her. Lorcan took a while to recover, but when he realised he was staring into empty space he ran towards the door, almost stepping on little Robyn, who was moved by Aelin.

"We are very much not gay, miss!" he shouted into the hallway. Aelin, now beside him and with a hand on Robyn's shoulder, cackled. With Lorcan's infinite luck, someone walked by just then and gave him a stern look. "Oh, shut up ma'am. I'm an ally. The best ally."

Rowan shook his head as Lorcan launched himself in pursuit of the poor teacher and burst out laughing when he heard him shout, "I'm not homophobic! I'm willing to suck someone's cock if I have to prove it to you!"

Aelin opened her mouth wide before bursting out laughing in turn.

Robyn, seeing both adults so happy, giggled too and Rowan bent down to pick her up. The little girl laid her full head of white-light hair on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

She was tired and Rowan really needed to get her home to sleep.

He glanced at Aelin and reduced his lips to a thin line, "I'm sorry about the commotion, I'll try not to bring him into the building again. Even if it means tying him to the seat."

The soft laugh she gave made something tighten in his chest. He frowned.

Aelin didn't seem to notice the effect she had on him, "Don't worry, Elide is crazy about fools like him. If he says the right things, we might start seeing each other outside of school too."

Rowan nodded, now too caught up in the thought of having to take Robyn home to focus on anything else.

They agreed on when to hold the parent-teacher meeting and then he grabbed Robyn's backpack, walking towards the exit.

He was thoughtless as he reached into his pocket for his keys and balanced everything else - including the girl - on his other arm, but when Robyn's hand brushed his cheek, he looked down and his eyes met their twins. Green against green.

"What is it?"

The little girl's voice never stopped making him smile. Each time was like the first time she had said dada.

"I really like her."

Rowan frowned, "Who?"

"Miss Aelin." she whispered, almost as if she was afraid they might hear her.

He smiled at her, "Yeah? You like her?"

"She's nice to me."

Rowan had to put her down as he opened the door and let her get into the back seats by herself.

"I'm glad she's treating you well, love," he let her know, buckling her in.

He hoped she'd tell him more about her new teacher, but like any kid her age, the topic of conversation couldn't last for more than four lines apiece, "Where's Uncle Lorcan?"

Rowan snorted, "No idea, little bird."

Robyn nodded, "Elide is pretty too."

And as if those words had summoned him, Lorcan appeared beside the car, making them both scream. He entered the car in a heartbeat and turned to his daughter, who was still settling into the seat. "Do you know Miss Lochan?"

But before she could answer him, Rowan had entered the car in turn and smacked the back of his head, which made the Robyn giggle, "You're not using my daughter as your wingman. Now stop it and buckle up."

Lorcan gave him a gentle push, before doing as he was told and for once he was happy he'd convinced him to do something.

Or at least, Rowan thought he had convinced him.

"What if I left you a note to deliver to Miss Lochan, Rob? Would you be up for it?"

Rowan knew, even without looking at her, that she was nodding emphatically.

Keeping his eyes on the road, he murmured, "Could you stop calling my daughter Rob, please? You'll give her an existential crisis."

Lorcan clicked his tongue against his palate, "Rowan, I'm not giving her a damn thing. We live in this new world, okay? Your daughter could be called Simon and still be a beautiful princess. Grow up and educate yourself before you talk shit."

"Aaaah!" shouted Robyn, "Bad word!"

Rowan sighed and shook his head, but still he was smiling.

This was his life. Had been for the past two years.

And he wouldn't change it for the world.

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[thetypedwriter]

Dark Rise Book Review

Dark Rise Book Review by C.S. Pacat 

I have been thinking about this book for days now. 

The sequel to this novel shot to the top of my Christmas list as soon as I was done reading it, it’s just too bad that it won’t be out for probably another year or two. The thought makes me want to weep, but at least re-reading is always an option. 

People always ask me what my favorite books of all time are. I’ve told several people that, for me, a mark of a good book is when it sticks with me, when it sticks in my head.

 It’s when the characters won’t leave me alone, when it inspires my own creativity and imagination, when I hear songs and immediately think of scenes from the book and attach it to events. 

This does not lie mutually exclusive with “excellent” books. I’ve read trash stories that have had this effect on me. I’ve also read classic novels and while I appreciate them and I enjoyed them, I didn't have the after effects of the book lingering on my mind for days or weeks or even months afterwards. 

I finished Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat several days ago and It’s still at the forefront of my thoughts like a song stuck in your head.

 The strange thing is that I don’t think it’s a perfect book. It has problems, especially with pacing and world building, but I still find myself fascinated. 

That, to me, is a great book. 

Now, you might have heard of C.S. Pacat before, either online or even from my reviews. Last year, I read the Captive Prince trilogy for the first time. You can read my review of the trilogy here.

 I expected it to be meretricious, but to my delight and surprise I found the Captive Prince trilogy to be well-written, engaging, lovingly crafted, and leaving a lasting impression on me-just like Dark Rise. 

If that’s not C.S. Pacat’s super power, I don’t know what is. Simply put, I like her stuff. It’s dark, it’s interesting, it’s different, and it sticks with me. I’ve even felt the cravings to re-read The Captive Prince trilogy since it’s been a year and that desire has only doubled since Dark Rise. 

There’s just something about C.S. Pacat’s work that my mind can’t leave alone and I’m not complaining. 

First, I don’t normally mention book covers, as I’ve found that it truly doesn’t depict the inside, but I was immediately drawn to Dark Rise’s cover. I actually saw the cover first, the author second, and third, pulled out my wallet to purchase it a nanosecond later. 

The cover just draws me in. From the haunted look of the character on the cover, to the lettering and colors and bold font. I loved everything about it and fortunately, for me, it did depict the inside material quite well. 

The plot itself isn’t all that original. 

It’s a very classic light vs. dark, good vs. evil kind of story. 

I was trying to explain the story to my brother over Thanksgiving and when I finished, he remarked that it sounded like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. He’s not wrong because at its core, Dark Rise is a very classic bad guys versus good guys kind of story. 

However, it’s the characters, the writing itself, and the end that really left a mark upon me. 

The actual plotline of dark and light is very Kingdom Hearts where they literally mean dark as a force and light as a force. The Dark King versus the Lady of Light. They are not ephemeral or symbolic. 

The Dark King is named as such for his control over shadows and monsters, and the Light for its control over the same. There are some odd interwoven pieces of lore like unicorns, but otherwise the world itself felt pretty par for the course. 

The characters and the ending is what really shined for me. 

I like all of the characters. As I’ve remarked time and time before, that is actually quite an astronomical thing. I do think that Pacat introduces a horde of characters very quickly and it is a bit peeving to switch POVs because my curiosity was not quite quenched.

 I still feel like I’ve only really gotten to know the surface of most of these characters, but I find myself inherently wanting more. 

But that’s the thing: I want more. 

I’m dying to learn about these characters, their relationships to one another, and where they go from here. Will felt like a very archetypal hero before suddenly he wasn’t, Violet felt very tomboy and rough until she changed, Justice was just amazing, Cyprian developed a heart, Katherine showed she had worth on the inside as well as the out, a unicorn appeared in the flesh, Simon’s darkness, Tom’s cruelty, James. Just James. 

Honestly, half of the intrigue comes from James alone. 

There are so many interesting characters and I want more of it right now. 

This, in large part, was hugely due to the ending. I knew a twist was coming, it always does, but I also believed that the climax was behind me. And I was right, but I was also wrong, because the so-called twist I was expecting was actually very surprising and downright insane. 

It made me so interested in what’s coming next and dying to see the characters, which is quite a plot twist if I do say so myself. My brain certainly felt twisted. 

The beginning of the novel starts off quite strong, but the middle does get quite muddy. This is when Pacat spends the most time world building and depositing her exposition and while it is necessary, it is a bit bland and boring to get through. It would have been less of a chore if the exposition had been more interspersed throughout. 

But when the ending does come through, it comes through with shining colors and the forces of dark and evil using their full potential and power which left me breathless and unable to contain my excitement for the installments to come. 

Which they will. 

And I can’t wait. 

Recommendation: This isn’t a perfect book, but it was one I enjoyed immensely. C.S. Pacat does not disappoint and more than any book I’ve read this year, I’m more excited to read the next installment of Dark Rise than anything else and that is the highest praise I can give it. 

Read it. Then read The Captive Prince trilogy. And then re-read them again and bask in the interesting worlds and words that Pacat has created. 

Score: 8/10

[willowbleedsonpaper]

Winter In The Shade VI

Part VI

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 2492

Requested by @amourtentiaa : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: None

A/N: I didn't proof read so I apologize for any mistakes.

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Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The distant chatter in the common room was nothing but a melody that accompanied your soft humming, moving around the room as you got ready. You found yourself alone in your dorm, your roommates long gone by then. You danced around your bed, your feet softly moving to the rhythm or the song stuck in your head as you laid your outfit for the night over the bed, a smile appearing on your face with an approving look. It wasn’t nothing that would make you stand out, but by no means it was something you would wear on a normal day around the Castle. You put it on gently, walking to the mirror as your smile brightened, you looked beautiful. Something you felt confident in, comfortable to wear for the night. You fell to the chair in front of the mirror, getting the silver necklace that would finish off the look for the night.

One more look at your reflection and you stood, standing straight “You’ll have fun.” you said to yourself through the reflection “You’ll have fun and make memories.” Your smile fell, the knot in your stomach tightening as you said. “You’ll find Sirius, dance and forget all this ever happened.” But did you truly want to forget?

You couldn’t deny that Sirius’ request had filled you with excitement when you forced yourself to stop pretending you were upset. You weren’t upset in the slightest, quite the opposite, actually. You were angry at yourself for feeling the way you did, for liking the interactions with Sirius even after you had asked him to stop. You had rolled your eyes when he flashed you with smiles from across the hall, glared at him when he sent dangerous winks in your direction while standing next to Regulus, you had turned on him and walked away when he crossed your path and even yanked your hand from your side as he brushed his hand against yours while walking through the halls. But there was no denying the butterflies waking up in your stomach when he smiled at you, the skip in your heart beat when you found him looking at you or the way your hand wanted to reach for the warmth of his. You were a confusing mess filled with guilt, what kind of friend will that make you?

You shook the thought from your head, looking at you one last time in the mirror before you left for the stairs of your common room. This is exactly why you’re doing this, you reminded yourself, you’re being a good friend. You repeated in your head as you descended to the common room, stopping in your steps “Reg?” you asked with a laugh, your voice high as he turned at the sound of your voice “What are you doing here?” you asked, hoping he didn’t see your mind crashing inside your head.

“I thought I’ll come here and walk you to the party like a proper date.” he said, standing from the chair “Memories, remember?” he said, his features completely relaxed.

He wasn’t supposed to be there.

You smiled at him “You didn’t have to.” you said, awkwardly placing your hands over his shoulders “You had something to do, didn’t you?” you reminded him “A class or something.”

He shook his head, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly “ I’ll have time for that later, I only have today with you.”

You tilted your head, looking up at him with a soft smile “Oh, Regulus.” you whispered, lowering your hands as you wrapped your arms around his waist, his arms instantly holding you against him “You really didn’t have to.” you muttered.

“I think my best friend is more important than my tasks.” he said.

You frowned “Tasks?” you asked, moving to look back at him.

“Nothing important,” he told you “Shall we?” he moved to offer you his arm, one you gladly took as he led you outside. Walking in silence for a couple of minutes before you turned to him “Who let you inside my common room?” you asked, squinting at him.

He raised his eyebrows with a shrug “Myself,” he said simply “Answering a riddle, really? No wonder everyone is in and out of that common room.”

“Regulus!” you said with a squeal “Not everyone can answer those. It takes skill.”

He scoffed, both of you standing at the doors of the Great Hall, his eyes lowering to look at you “It takes a brain and common sense.” he replied, glancing between you and the party inside; a smile drawing itself over his lips as he watched the glint in your eyes, the excitement shining through. “Ready?” he asked, giving your hand a soft squeeze.

You turned to him, the glistening in your eyes never faltering as your smile only grew, reaching your eyes “Let’s make memories, Reg.”

*******

“Would you calm down?” said James, his body leaning against one of the pillars of the Great hall, his hand lazily holding a drink as he took a sip from it, his eyes looking over the cup and towards Sirius and his incessant pacing “Y/N doesn’t struck me as one to promise things lightly.” he said, Sirius soft scoff making him roll his eyes with a smile “She’ll show up.”

James patted Sirius on the back, the motion breaking Sirius’ gaze from the entrance, a scoff leaving his lips as he let the weight of his body fall against the wall “You don’t know that.” he said, fingers fidgeting with the rings carefully placed on his fingers “What am I doing, Prongs?” he asked, a look of disbelief taking over his grey orbs.

James laughed, throwing his head back in the air as he went to stand next to Sirius “Quoting the same words you told me years ago,” he said, placing a hand on Sirius’ shoulder as “You are screwed.” he said, repeating the same words Sirius once told James when he first starting liking certain redhead girl.

Sirius covered his face, his words muffled by his hands “Save me.” he cried playfully, the laughs of the two best friends only increasing in the corner of the Great Hall they had taken for themselves.

“Nah.” said James with a bright smile “I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy in a while. Better take advantage of it.”

Sirius bit his lower lip, shaking his head as he let out a breathy laugh. The words he had on his lips dying right there with the commotion of Peter running straight to them, Remus standing by the door making wide signs with his arms to gather Sirius’s attention.

“She 's here.” Peter breathed out, doubling over himself as he rested both hands over his knees, trying to his breathing back. James took hold of his friend's arm, leading him to the side “You ran all over the Castle, didn't you…” But James’ voice faded in the distance, as everything that surrounded Sirius once he saw you entering the Great Hall.

You took slow steps towards the party, your gaze staying on the ceiling since the first moment you crossed the big wooden doors. Even with great distance separating the two of you he could see the way your eyes shone with excitement, your smile the brightest he had ever seen on your face, he made sure to save that exact picture of you in his head. Always bright, always you.

It wasn’t until you broke out of your trance that he turned to the person walking with you, to the person whose arm you clutched to like your life depended on it. He had forgotten, you had a date. It didn’t surprise him when his eyes found the face of his brother looking at you with that smile that seemed so unknown to him, so distant. Your face remained the same, an almost childlike excitement to your features as you started to point out things, letting go of his arm to take both Regulus’ hands in yours, making small movements in the air to the rhythm of the music.

He expected his brother to shake his head, let your hands fall from the air and cross his arms, only to hear the small chuckle that left his chest, his hand motioning to you to lead the way as you jumped slightly in your place.

As you turned your body, your eyes caught sight of the older Black sibling, your features falling into softer ones while taking a firm hold of Regulus hand, a smile was drawn over your lips, one only Sirius could see as you walked an disappeared into the crowd

“What are you doing?” Remus snapped his fingers in front of Sirius, his face turning with a haze in his eyes “You were supposed to do something!” said Remus, his hands pointing wildly to the spot you stood a fraction of a second before.

Sirius nodded his head slowly, his eyes focusing on his friend “The party had just begun, Moony.” he said confidently “The night’s still young.”

*******

You led Regulus through the crowd, your feet moving to the rhythm of the music as you reached a more secluded place. It still had some students there enjoying the party but it was nothing like the main Hall where all the crowd was gathered.

“You promised me something long ago.” you said, lowering your head to meet his eyes.

“Did I?” he asked playfully, but still you could see the gears inside his head working to remember what he had promised, his silence a confirmation he had reached to nothing.

“You promised you would teach me how to dance.” you said.

His eyes opened wide, turning back to the ongoing party “You want me to show you how to dance right now?” He asked “During the party?”

“Yes!”

He took one hesitant look back at the party, the safe place where you two stood now almost making him refuse your request but one look at you it’s all it took for him to give in.

He offered his hand and you took it with a squeal, making him chuckle “It’s not even the right music, you know?”

“Does it matter?” you asked him.

A grin was plastered on his face, placing himself in front of you “It has never stopped me before.”

You smiled up at him, placing one hand over his shoulder as he took your free hand, his other hand firmly placed over your waist. “Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.” you said with a nod.

To say you learned how to dance would be a complete lie. He spent probably five minutes teaching how to dance before you both got distracted. In the end you ended up dancing to however your body felt the music, swinging your arms together in the air as he made you twirl, most of the time making you a dizzy chuckling mess. The Great Hall was left behind at some point, leaving the party and the crowd to be on its own as you and Regulus escaped to your own world. Laughter and quick footsteps echoed through the halls of Hogwarts, running as you chased each other around until you both could no longer breath properly.

Your bodies rested against the cold stone walls, letting it fall to the floor with your chest heaving at a rapid pace.

“That was fun.” Regulus said.

You chuckled, turning to him with a smile that in no way could compare to the one he had on his own face. He had his head thrown back, resting comfortably against the wall, he had his eyes closed and a smile adorning his lips. He looked peaceful.

“It was.” you whispered.

“Regulus.”

You snapped your eyes up, meeting a bored look in the boy in front of you He never stopped to acknowledge your presence, his eyes lingering on your friend as he jumped to his feet. You copied his movements, but he moved to stand in front of you, covering your body with his.

“Severus.” Regulus said back, his calm voice a contradiction to his reaction.

The boy paid you no mind, blinking slowly at Regulus “We’ve been looking for you.” he said, his voice low. “We didn’t see you tonight.”

“I was busy.” Regulus said with no further explanation. You tried to move away from behind his body, his arm stopping you before you could move.

Severus glanced at you briefly, his face remaining the same “I can see that,” he said “Still, I will advise you to sort out your priorities.”

Regulus face turned, his fists clenched at his sides “They’re sorted out, I can assure you.” he said through gritted teeth.

Again, you tried to move out from the small space Regulus had you in, looking over his shoulder to see Severus turned and walk away, not once looking back.

“What in Merlin’s name was that?” you asked in disbelief, letting out the breath you had been holding as you turned to meet Regulus’ gaze “Reg?” you asked when he stared into the distance, his eyes following the path Severus went.

“Nothing.” he said, putting on a smile.

“What was that?” you asked again, your eyes filled with worry.

“They were helping me before, nothing important.”

You turned, blinking rapidly at him “Not important?” you asked with a string of voice “He seemed ready to drag you with him.”

“He did.” he muttered, looking back “Y/N, do you think... “ he said, his words trailing off as you tilted your head, getting what he was asking.

“Oh,” you said, watching as he scrunched his eyebrows in worry “No, it’s fine. You go. It’s already late, I should go to bed anyway.” you smiled at him, a reassuring look on your face.

“Are you sure?” he asked again “I can walk you to your dorm…”

“No!” you said, your smile tightening as his frown deepened “I can go there myself. You should go before they send someone scarier.” you laughed.

He took your hand and gave it a squeeze “I’ll see you tomorrow before I leave, alright?”

You nodded, holding onto his hand as he started to walk away, his face turning back to you “Thank you for tonight, Reg.” you said, pulling his body to you as you hugged him.

His arms snaked around you, holding you close to him as he placed a soft kiss at the crown of your head “See you tomorrow.” he whispered.

Your hand stretched holding onto his until the distance made your hand fall, your eyes following him before he disappeared in the distance. You stood there for a couple of minutes, your mind racing over the last couple of minutes and the heaviness that had settled on your heart. You shook your head of all the worry, taking a deep breath before you turned back, starting your way back to the Great Hall.

You owed Sirius a dance.

TAGS

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Winter in the Shade

@plethoraofpuppies / @dracoissohot / @funravenclaw2002 / @nehireerdogan / @ktyflwr / @lilyevanswhore / @edithsvoice / @medalloway-blog / @falconxbarnes / @blackst0nes7077 / @gabitanaka47 / @padsfirewhisky / @lazzwhile / @lilylikethefl0wer / @crazy-beautiful

Marauders

@destourtereaux

[p-antomime]

dawn addiction.

— minors don't interact.

— wc: 3,3K

content + warnings: 18+, including: car sex, oral (female receiving), fingering, public sex (kinda of), unprotected sex, tummy bulge, pet names (dabi actually calls the reader "princess"), virginity loss (only mentioned), i bit of fluff bye

pairings: no quirk!dabi x fem!reader

— song: Press Your Number; by TAEMIN

After waking up alone one dark night without you sleeping next to him in the spacious bed placed in the middle of his room, Dabi catches himself thinking about you and feeling strange without having your warm body next to his in the bed. Thinking about Y/N was becoming a vicious habit for him and it was the kind of addiction that the more he fed, the more it seemed to swallow his sanity. However, he didn't blame you for not wanting to be seen or related to him, in a small town like the two of you Touya was the delinquent that people avoided interacting with lest they be excluded from that closed society.

He stretches to the side in order to get his own phone from the small table placed on the side of his bed and finds himself standing there for a few seconds feeling the smell of your body that permeated the pillow next to him. After taking a deep inhale, Dabi unlocks his cell phone to try to call you, but there is no answer, after all, it was past 1:00 AM in the dawn and Y/N was now probably lying in her own bed in her house trying to sleep.

The dark haired man lets out an impatient grunt before dropping the cell phone on the bed. He was deeply rooted in you and, because of that, feeling like an insane madman who was insisting on something that couldn't be his. But what could he do but fall in love with you after kissing your lips countless times and spreading your legs dangerously wide for him before claiming your virginity as his?

And the end of that night, just like all the others where you would finish fucking and you would shamefully put on your clothes to go home, would be filled by him masturbating with the thought of your naked body running through his mind.

Touya could feel the warm temperature of yours with little mental effort with his own fingers and would cling to the fading memories of the few non-sexual moments you had shared over the past few months.

That night, Dabi slept when the sun was already up, but Y/N, on the other hand, didn't even sleep a wink. She couldn't even take a lousy nap, because her eyes were glued to her cell phone screen waiting to see if he would call her again because on the first call of the night she wasn't brave enough to answer knowing that her parents were half a wall away. A coward? Yes, that's what she was. But there was a perfect daughter demeanor that she needed to maintain, especially if she wanted to continue to nurture her father's idea of letting her start studying at a university in the metropolitan area of the country.

Y/N would turn twenty a week from today — and if her father's promise to give you a car came true, her plan was already halfway done — and she didn't want to be stuck in that small, rural town forever. She had big dreams, and, ironically, in most of them the fulminating image of Dabi was present beside her. What if she was the only one there who wanted to leave that life? What if he didn't want to leave with her? But more importantly, at what point had their relationship become so deep?

It was now 7 o'clock in the morning, which meant that in about two hours your parents would wake up to go to work. You took a deep breath and reached out to grab the cell phone lying next to you on the bed, and then began to type a message as brief and vague as possible to your lover:

"Pack up all your stuff by next Friday. Take everything that you think is important or of value to you, pack it up, and meet me on the other side of the bridge that leads to the avenue out of town, the side that has the rusty 'Welcome to our town' sign. At two o'clock in the morning. No delays. And please try not to draw too much attention, wear the most decent, neutral clothes you have in your closet. Oh, and bring documents."

And all week long you could barely look your parents in the face without feeling guilty for wanting to break free from their protective arms, but you just couldn't take it anymore. You hated that small town, and you also hated being forced to go to church every Thursday and Sunday with your mother because she said that God would "bless you with all your dreams come true," so why didn't he just indirectly help you leave that town behind? Literally, the only thing holding you back in that town was Touya and you wanted to take him with you outside the boundaries of that town that looked more like a village forgotten by the rest of the world.

Y/N's favorite place to be was Dabi's lips, and even then, the girl's replies to him by messages and short calls that didn't last more than 5 minutes started to decrease drastically. The useless monologues continue to increase inside her mind. Until the Thursday before her birthday when Y/N was about to fall asleep after standing for almost 2 hours listening to the local church mass hoping that her mother would not notice her slouching and irritable posture, suddenly a sound of something banging against her bedroom window was heard. And initially she didn't bother to get up to find out what had caused the noise, until she heard it twice more and frowned as she got out of bed after seeing that it was almost two o'clock in the dawn.

You drew the curtains in front of the window, opened it and stuck your head out, looking down and suddenly feeling your cheeks heat up violently. And there was Touya looking at you with a look of sorrow and animosity. He pointed in the direction of the hidden backyard behind your house where the two of you in the beginning of your relationship used to hide just to spend some time together or have a make-out session that ended up leaving both of you sexually frustrated because neither of you had the courage to have sex in that place where anyone could see you if you made too much noise. However, Dabi was the devil in your life worth sinning for.

— What the fuck are you doing here? — Y/N asked almost desperately as she felt Touya wrap one of his arms around her waist to glue their bodies together.

— What? Can't a man miss his beloved and want to go see her? — He asked, holding her face with his free hand. — You barely answer my messages.

— I told you we were going to meet tomorrow, on Friday. — You rested your hands on his chest to move away just enough to look him in the face.

— And about that, you're killing me with curiosity, princess. What are you thinking of doing tomorrow? It's your birthday. — Dabi commented, running his thumb along her bottom lip affectionately.

— I-I know. — You replied, looking away. — I was planning on... going out... with you. — You just didn't say it was going to be an out-of-town trip with no intention of coming back.

— What are you hiding? — He asked, leaning down to place a simple, tender kiss on her lips.

— Would you follow me wherever I went?

— I would follow you to the ends of hell if you asked me to. — Dabi answered, and instinctively you grabbed his face to place your lips back on theirs in a kiss deeper than the one before in a frenzy of feeling.

— Then do it. — Y/N whispered against his lips staring into his beautiful turquoise eyes. — For my birthday the only thing I ask from you is to always be by my side, I don't need material gifts.

Seconds after you finished speaking, the sound of footsteps inside your house could be heard, and a shiver ran down your back as your hands desperately pushed Dabi away in the direction of the very door through which the two of you had entered the yard.

— Damn, not even at dawn I... — Touya began to complain as he walked briskly away from you and disappeared into the darkness of the night to return to his house.

— Shhh, shut up. I'll see you at dawn. Two o'clock, don't forget. — You whispered loud enough for him to hear you as you turned back and faced the back door of your house slowly opening to reveal to you the sleepy figure of your father.

— Honey? — He asked, and you gasped as if you were distracted by something while you could hear your heart beating rapidly. — What are you doing out here? It's late? and cold, you might catch cold.

— I... — Y/N looked around just to make sure there was no more sign of Dabi. — I heard a noise here when I went down to get some water and just wanted to come down and see if it wasn't an animal or something. But it was nothing, I guess it was just my mind playing with me. — It was a good enough lie considering that it wasn't hard to wake up during the night to go to the bathroom or eat something from the fridge.

And then your father called you inside and you promptly went. As the day went on, not even your father's birthday present with the car seemed to quell the anxiety inside you of going to see Dabi in the middle of the night with no intention of coming home. Y/N packed three backpacks and after watching your parents go to sleep, put them all on the back seats of the car after grabbing the keys that your father had left on top of the coffee table in the living room, and also grabbing some money from your father's safe that was in a secluded room in the residence.

After writing a short, albeit long, letter explaining to her mother that she was going to the metropolitan city — but without saying with whom — to try a new life there and that you would be fine because "there were friends waiting for you there" — which was a big lie, but she didn't need to know that — Y/N put on a sweatshirt and ran out of her now former home. Remembering all the various driving lessons her mother had made her take last year, you put the key in the ignition and made sure that your license and other documents were in one of the pockets of the three backpacks on the back seats. And you set off across town to reach the end of the bridge that served as both a gateway into and out of the city, parking exactly beside the welcome sign.

After about fifteen minutes, you watched a silhouette approach through the darkness, and if you didn't recognize the blue-toned sweatshirt with white details that Dabi usually wore when he didn't want to attract attention, you would surely lock yourself inside your car for fear that it was some sexual predator. Before he could finish approaching you at the agreed upon spot and open his mouth to vocalize something, you ran toward him to jump into his arms and kiss him fervently like you hadn't done in almost two weeks. He didn't fight your grip and responded to your display of affection instantly, he missed your touch more than he would admit.

— Where are we going? — He asked, analyzing her new car as he watched you open the back seat door and gestured for him to put his own belongings inside.

— To the big city. — You answered unlocking the door next to the driver's seat after hearing Dabi choke on his own saliva looking at you as if he hadn't heard you correctly. — Come in. — Your head swiveled inward.

— What do you mean we're going to the city? What about your parents? You have a loving family here, I have nothing to lose, but you? — Dabi put one hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

— I want to go to the city. I want to live with you. — Y/N replied feeling her cheeks heat up and looking at him expectantly. — You said you would go anywhere with me, to the ends of hell.

— And I will, but this decision... — You interrupted him.

— Please. For once in my life I want to do things my way. Without having to hide you from anyone, without having anyone judge me for being with you. Let's go to another city, live together, we'll figure it out when we get there. — You put one hand on his forearm, squeezing it gently.

Touya took a few seconds to process the information and after looking from you to the car, he said:

— Where are the keys? — You waved them in front of him, flashing an amused smile. — So get in the car, doll face. I'll drive. — He gave you a light slap on the butt before pushing you toward the driver's seat, getting into the car and putting the key in the ignition. — How long until we reach the city?

— About six hours, we can get there in the morning.

— Great. — Dabi started the car and began to drive along the deserted road while resting one hand on Y/N’s covered thigh and occasionally giving the area a gentle squeeze.

After about an hour of driving, you became distracted by fiddling with your cell phone until you noticed his long fingers sneaking up and over your thighs until they came dangerously close to Dabi's real intended destination. Her eyes cast a serious countenance at him as if she were silently saying: "Don't you dare" and in response his lips parted in a defiant smile as his hand on the steering wheel slowed and eventually brought the car to a full stop.

— C'mon. It's been almost two weeks since we had sex. — He said, lowering the two seats you were sitting on and pulling you to sit on his lap with your back against the steering wheel.

— And the best place you could find to have sex was inside my new car? — Despite your complaint, you didn't try to restrain his hands from reaching into your sweatshirt to grab and squeeze your breasts, nor did you object to the feeling of his knee pressing against the middle of your legs.

Touya lifts your arms and pulls up your sweatshirt and then concentrates on removing the simple tank top and lacy bra you were wearing, shortly after which he leans over your body to take one of your nipples between his lips to begin stimulating it. In response, you rub your hips against his leg as your hands grip his dark hair as a way to relieve the growing tension settling through your body. His hands slowly slid down your back, past your waist and into your pants, while his right hand also invaded your panties to run his fingers over your pussy lips and his left was busy opening the buttons of that garment.

Y/N put her hands on the hem of his sweatshirt, pulled it up, and was not surprised to see him with nothing underneath. Strangely enough, his skin was naturally too warm and it was not hard to believe that even with the low temperature outside the car he would only need a casual sweatshirt to not feel cold. And that was exactly why you liked so much to run your hands along his body exploring him calmly to make your touches last longer.

Dabi turned his body so that you were lying on the passenger seat and stood over you with a smug smile as his hands dug in and squeezed the skin of your legs after he finished getting rid of your pants with some difficulty because of the tight space.

— Keep your legs open for me or I won't let you cum, princess. — He whispered, sliding his mouth down her torso to her pelvis and pulling her hips up as high as possible before burying his fingers inside her pussy and enveloping her clit with his lips.

Y/N's hands gripped Touya's now messy hair and pushed his face against her hip in search of more of that mind-blowing pleasure she had missed for the few days she had been avoiding him. Suddenly the car became extremely hot, almost to the point where you both felt suffocated and ironically neither of you cared about that, not when Dabi was curving his fingers and sucking your clit in the way that always made your vision cloud and too loud moans escape your mouth. But, you didn't want to cum in his mouth, so your hands moved his face away from your hips and pulled his body up.

— Please, Touya, I need you inside me. — Her voice was slurred by her rapid breathing.

Dabi didn't need you to say anything else, he just stepped back briefly to get rid of the clothes that were still covering his lower body, adjusted your hips to his, leaned on the car door behind your body and guided his cock to the entrance of your pussy. As you felt him fill and enlarge you completely with his tip rubbing against your cervix, you groaned, leaning on his shoulders to face him and watching the small rise against your belly that was always present when that black haired man penetrated you.

Touya slid one hand down your neck and closed his fingers around your neck applying just the right amount of pressure to make waves of pleasure run through your body and not to hurt you. He began to move and Y/N passed her legs around his waist moving her body downward every time Dabi moved upward, occasionally he would take her lips on his just because he liked to feel her moans against his mouth and the rhythm of his hips gradually began to get harder and faster.

— I should cum inside you, hmm? — Touya asked, keeping eye contact with you every moment he thrust inside you again and making you clench your walls around his length without you even realizing it. — Damn, I love you so much, you have no idea what I would do for you.

— So show me. — You grabbed the wrist of his hand that was still resting on your neck and squeezed it without too much force. — Make me your girl.

With a smug and satisfied smile, he continued thrusting himself against her insides to the point where her hips began to ache just seconds before she reached her own orgasm with her nails digging into the skin of Touya's arm and her back arching as spasms coursed through her entire body at a high rate of speed. He gave a few thrusts against your pussy until the white streaks of cum painted your insides and slowly pulled out of you, wanting to prolong the feeling of having you squeeze him some more.

Dabi let his tired body fall back against the driver's seat and concentrated on stabilizing his breathing while you did the same as you looked up at him with the following thought running through your mind: "This is definitely the man I want to be with forever". The thought made your cheeks burn and it didn't go unnoticed by him:

— What? — One of his eyebrows arched.

— Nothing, I was just thinking... about you, about us. — You answered, starting to look around the car for your clothes, and an amused laugh came from Touya's mouth, who looked at you tenderly.

— So I'm always on your mind?

— More than you think, yes. — Y/N answered, leaning over to place a tender kiss at the corner of his lips. — Now get ready, get your clothes, let's get back on the road.

— Can we fuck again before we get to the city again? — Her eyes narrowed in disapproval.

— Shut up, you idiot.

[byulsgrease]

duly noted

you've never been one to obsess about your soulmate, assuming you'll figure it out when the time is right. but seriously, what kind of nonsense has yours been writing about recently?

(eventual moonbyul / wheein x gender neutral reader, soulmate!au, trainee/idol!au, ~1.2k words)

a/n: wheein bias wrecker anon! I might've had too much fun with your req and so this is gonna be my first soulmate au 🤠 while byul and wheein don't actually appear in this part (does that make this a prologue? idk), I promise they'll make their appearance soon enough :)

cw: struggles of being a trainee (weight + food talk)

The claps from your dance instructor ring out in the mirrored studio, calling everyone to attention before they send you off for the day. Everyone stands around listening to whatever niceties they're talking about, asking the rhetorical questions of whether all of you want this, how everyone needs to work harder, etc. How many years has it been now, almost three? Evaluations went pretty well recently and you've certainly demonstrated signs of growth since you started, but debut? Who knows. Does anyone, really?

But right now it's late and you're hungry, hoping that your growling stomach isn't loud enough to pierce through the lecture. You're respectfully tuned out anyway, since it's all old news. Nothing you haven't heard before. They clap again once their spiel ends and everyone disperses. Your eyes catch Hyejin's on your way out of the studio, sharing a funny face and an eyeroll before disappearing into the herd of trainees shuffling to the lockers.

Your locker opens with a routine spin of the dial, taking care to slow down and line up the numbers properly so you're not stuck having to do it over again. The inside's pretty cute for a metallic rectangle— it's really the only space of your own besides your notebook. Pictures of your family, old school friends, and fellow trainee friends line the sides beneath a tiny string of battery-powered fairy lights. It's not much, but always a humbling reminder of why you're here.

Unzipping your bag, you take out a pair of slides and drop them on the floor while stepping out of your sneakers. There's not much else in your bag, just a change of clothes and your notebook, of course. Everyone has one. Anything inside could be drawn, written, scribbled, painted. It’s your personal creative space and no one else's, but with two conditions:

You can't write your name in it, not even your initials. Of course everyone tried to as kids against their parents commands, but letters simply sink into the page, disappearing as if they'd never been written at all.

You can only mark up one side. Pages on the right side are for you, and the left side pages fill themselves. Fill themselves with what? you asked your parents. They gave you a non-answer, saying you'd figure it out someday. Great. Only other thing they bothered to tell you was that your right-hand pages were someone's left-hand ones. So someone can see what I put here? Their confirmation sounded rather casual, which you found weird. Someone out there was watching what you put in? But you got used to it, especially since every person owns one. It's a novelty for children anyway. Mark up a page however you want, knowing that someone out in the would will see, and sit back to watch whatever randomness shows up on the left side.

Your left side pages were actually empty for quite a while, save for the occasional "UGGHHH" followed by a typical childish annoyance scrawled messily across the entirety of the page in marker. Not that notebook use was mandatory, but parents usually encouraged it because it kept their kids occupied. There wasn't much you could do about empty pages, nor did you care most of the time, but it did leave you a little jealous of other kids at school who'd sometimes open theirs and be greeted with cute watercolor paintings, mini murals, or skillfully written poetry.

For you, the notebook's served many uses. As a kid it was random doodles and poorly-drawn fantasy scenarios— escapism, perhaps. In middle school it was angsty poems and random journal entries about the random happenings of your life. For the first half of high school it became your to-do list, keeping track of school assignments. And on the rarest occasion, song lyrics. Visual art was never your medium of choice, music came more easily. But drawing staff lines for music notation in the notebook usually ended up being too tedious, so your original stuff was mostly relegated to voice memos on your phone. And now? Who knows. Trainee life may as well be a blur. Sing, dance, talk, eat if you can afford to, sleep, repeat. It's hard to find the energy to write anything most days. Whenever you feel like checking, the left side has random jottings, nearly illegible most of the time.

It wasn't until you got older that you realized that whoever read your entries on the was the same person generating content on the left. And supposedly the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of time? What kind of system is that? I'm just supposed to trust blindly? having asked your parents in exasperation after figuring it out. Again with more non-answers— it had worked for them, didn't it? There's also the obvious question of why people don't just write directly to each other, but whatever. You're still young, no need to obsess over "the one" unlike some of your classmates. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, you figure. And it obviously is, you've got a notebook with (semi-)filled left side pages. What more could you ask for?

The cacophony of clanging lockers opening and closing starts to die down as people leave. Hyejin's head pops out from behind the locker door, laughing in your face when you flinch.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, one sec. Man, I'm starving,” you remark while slipping the bag straps on your back and closing the locker door. You don't even want to know how strapped for cash you are, probably in for another night of boiled eggs and canned kimchi.

“Wanna go out for food?” she immediately asks, eyes alight at the prospect of getting to eat something besides convenience store food.

"I wish. Actually, you wish," you smirk with longing in your eyes. The "no" doesn't even have to be said, weigh-ins are way too soon to risk it. She hangs her head, jokingly dejected as you swing an arm around her shoulder to walk out of the company building together.

~~~~

After scrounging up whatever food you call dinner, taking a shower, and flopping into bed, you open up your notebook and grab the random pen laying on your dresser, unsure of what you'll write about tonight. There's chicken scratch on the left page already, ballpoint pen. It's actually legible today, though: In my room every day I see your smile.

What the hell does that mean? Whose smile, yours? You haven't even met yet.

Call me everyday every night, hug me everywhere every time

Utter nonsense. Maybe meeting soulmates is just a huge game of catch-up once everything's finally revealed, surely yours will be. There’s just so many questions. Moving to the right side, you jot down a list of cheat meal ideas along with some assorted notes and pointers from practice that you want to work on tomorrow, drawing little characters next to each list item for fun. After accidentally drawing a random squiggle from jolting yourself awake and feeling the heaviness in your eyelids, you cap your pen and shut your notebook, placing it back in your bag. With the lights out, the last thought you have before sleep consumes you is why haven't you ever tried writing directly to each other after all this time?

[next]

[smeraldos]

In Which You Meet a Wizard Without Knowing

gif: @bts_westv on twitter

↬ characters: taehyung x reader

↬ genres: fantasy, adventure, a 'lil fluff. Howl's Moving Castle!AU

↬ words: 1.5K+

↬ summary: While your sisters dreamt of success and affluence, you stuck to what you knew. It was better that way. Less risky. For any who inquired, your hats went out into the world for you.

What you didn't expect was to encounter a mystery of a man, and along with him, a misadventure for two.

In all his years of drifting, the spirit has never met someone who sought him out. Some took a little coaxing, a little dangling of the fruit, and others took a slight push off the edge, but this.

This boy was ripe for the taking. He wasn’t innocent, no. He knew what he’d come for, and that pleased the spirit. He shrunk himself into the size of a kumquat and leapt into the boy’s hands. 

Once the deed is done, he began, there is no undoing.

The boy told him he knew. He was very solemn about it. He had the face of someone who could have become a great man.

The spirit looked at him with an expression often mistaken for pity. Then he told the boy to swallow him, and the boy’s heart was no more.

The rumors flying about the wizard V are quite sensational. 

They give him flair; an air of dark, beguiling intrigue he does not wish for, yet welcomes all the same. They give him a character to play. And now, he’s landed the part of a dashing escapee, leading his pursuers down a network of sharp turns and secret alleys. 

Ahead, the sun gleams like a penny scrubbed to shine. The sky is sweet and rosy. A guard courts a young lady…how trite. V would have left the two alone had he not noticed the lady, no lure of a smile or blush upon her cheeks.

You back away, your dress blending in with the wall. Your eyes search desperately for an escape, eventually finding his. Well. He sighs. It wasn’t as if he was planning to leave you be. That would be quite heartless.

"I'm late, aren't I?" V asks, announcing his presence. "Forgive me, I lost track of the time. To the theatre?"

You accept his proffered arm, hesitant. He can tell you're a bit wary, and rightly so.

“And where do you think you’re going?” The guard demands, blocking his exit. “The lady and I haven’t finished our talk.”

“With all due respect," V says, suppressing a scoff, "I think you are.”

In an instant, the guard stiffens. His eyes widen. “What--” He starts, but marches off before he can finish.

With that pest gone, V turns his attention back to you...who really can’t be more than twenty. You look dreary in your choice of attire -- gray shawl, gray dress, dull hat over a meek face. If it were not for your stunned look, he’d say you lacked spark. Yet his business lies not in assessing your appearance. He's running short on time. “Do you mind telling me where you’re headed?”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll be your escort for the evening," he explains.

“Oh,” you blurt out, letting go of his arm, “thank you, but an escort won’t be necessary.” With a hasty dip of your head, you leave, bumping into a woman in the process. When you move to apologize, you realize she has no face. 

Just a dark head and a liquid, convulsing body.

"So where to?" The gentleman asks, and this time when he approaches, you don’t hesitate to take his arm. 

"Cesari's," you murmur, lest the creature hear you. It’s where your sister works, and you've been worried enough as it is.

He guides you briskly down a cobbled path. "I'd advise you not to look back."

In the distance, you hear a collective groaning, the crack of wood splintering. Low at first, the groaning rises steadily in pitch, the crack of wood quickening like strikes of a whip drawing blood. Your heart drums fast. Suddenly, a dark creature swoops toward you, screaming shrilly. V turns you abruptly to the right. 

Phantoms lurk around the corner, shrieking as they lunge, but the next alley leads to a wall. Your breath catches. From the cracks burst out more phantoms, and you grip the gentleman's sleeve, squeezing your eyes shut.

The next moment, you can't feel the ground. The howling and screeching fall away, growing softer and softer until you can hear them no more.

You venture a look.

"Careful," the gentleman warns, a second too late. "We're quite high up."

Quite high up? You'd have to be -- you don't know, geography has never been your strong suit -- a few hundred meters above the ground! You're flying. There’s nothing to hold onto except the gentleman's bejewelled hands, and while the view of Market Chipping is beautiful, you're going to fall.

"Are you mad?" You ask, trying not to panic. 

He laughs. "I'm surprised you didn't notice. Now take a step." 

Your first one is shaky. Without any surface to step on, it feels like you're sinking instead of floating. 

"Imagine you're taking a stroll," the gentleman suggests. "Look, there’s the patisserie, the flora, and the...fauna. Strange, that shouldn’t be there.”

To your horror, his grip on you loosens just a bit, and you yelp, prompting his attention. 

”Why don’t you think of a song?” He asks.

“A dirge, you mean. A funeral song.”

“I know what a dirge is,” he snaps. “You, on the other hand...”

It didn’t work.

V thought he could distract you with a squabble, but your palms are still as clammy as ever.

So to pacify your stubborn fear (so tangible he can feel it), he coaxes you into giving him a tour of Market Chipping. At first, you insist it's been quite some time since you've set foot outside and you're likely missing a place or few. How long is quite some time, he asks, mostly in jest, and is surprised when you tell him. He doesn’t show it. Instead, he assures you it’s of little import, because really, he's just settled in, so do you know any merchants who sell paintings? He's been itching for something to spruce up his residence -- the walls are bleak and empty.

By the time you reach Cesari’s, the stars are just beginning to shimmer. Night falls rapidly over the horizon, and you're surprised at the sudden desire you feel to prolong the conversation. 

"Would you like to come in for biscuits and tea? Surely Joy can get us a discount--" You catch yourself, noting the lustrous gold winding his velvet cape, the violet glint of sapphires dangling from his ears. "Not that you'll need it."

"No," he says, releasing your hand gently. "But I appreciate the offer. I must get going."

"Good night, then," you say. "And thank you for escorting me. I enjoyed your company."

He smiles a soft smile, his most disarming one yet. "The pleasure is all mine." With a slight bow, he vanishes from sight.

The sweet scent of cinnamon and sugar beckons you into Cesari's, yet you feel no urge to enter. Lingering by the balcony, you watch the festivities below, the lights and colorful dresses appearing small and whimsical, a bit like you’re peering through a snow globe. For the first time in a while, you feel a childlike wonder. You hadn't realized you missed it.

Too late you realize you should have asked for the gentleman's name. 

"Who was that?" A bright voice, clear out of nowhere, asks. "I didn't get a good look."

"Joy!" You exclaim, recognizing the fair features of your sister. Although she seems a bit thinner. It worries you, but you bite your tongue. Joy, after all, doesn't take to chiding. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting some fresh air." She stretches leisurely, a mischievous grin on her lips. "So imagine my surprise when I hear my sister offering a discount without consulting me first."

"You heard that?"

"The pleasure is all mine," she mimics, putting on an exaggerated, deep tone.

"Well, I suppose it serves me right."

"Please!" Joy laughs. "You shouldn’t be so proper. What are biscuits and tea compared to your happiness?"

"Not as--"

"No," she interrupts. "Don't answer that. I'm doing well here despite the amount of pesky suitors. They're nothing I can't handle, so j...just let me help you thrive, too. So long as it isn't V you're handing your heart to."

You miss the awkward falter in Joy's words, touched and baffled as you are by her sentiment. "Doesn't he only eat the hearts of beauties? I'd be more concerned if I were you."

"Or," she muses, "he feeds on beautiful, innocent hearts, and we've been fools all along." 

When she looks at you, chills creep up your spine. "Are you trying to frighten me?"

"Well, do you have a beautiful heart?" She retorts.

"I don’t know."

"Exactly," she says. "And no one can fathom why V chose to stay here of all places. That's why we--"

"Joy!" Someone shouts from inside.

"I'm on break!" She shouts back, but the woman calls out to her again. Joy pulls an annoyed face, and for a second, you think you see a bit of Irene in her expression. Then she breathes and returns to her pleasant self. "Come in." She twists the doorknob open. "I'll finish telling you later." 

As you follow her, a creature slithers under the balcony, quiet for now.

It's dark and pulsing. 

[sebastianshaw]

Meme from "Broad City" quotes

“You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”

"Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”

“Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”

“What’s an Arch de Triumph?”

“It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”

“I really don’t feel like going into work today.”

"Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then. . . biiiiitch.”

“Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”

“I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”

“I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”

“I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”

"Oh my Lady God, thank you!"

“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”

“I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”

“I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”

“That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”

“I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”

“Four R’s, my friend-- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”

“Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”

“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”

“I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”

“I just want to get home and watch my shows.”

"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."

"Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?"

"I'm still not over Amy Winehouse."

"I can't really imagine what it's like for people with blue eyes."

"This isn't a sugar daddy thing. This is just an old established guy paying for his younger friend who he also has sex with kind of thing."

"You're like 12, right?"

"I love me some dumplings. It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."

"I was so worried I baked a whole cake and then I ate a whole cake."

"In da clerb, we all fam."

"I know you from your ass better than I know your face."

"I respect you respecting me."

"You know what's cool about this party? We're the sexiest girls here."

"I'll pick up your poop. You're worth it."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

"You got beauty. You got brains. You're a fucking genius. Do you wanna kiss?"

"You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It's a perfect combo."

“Witches aren’t monsters, they’re just women! They’re fucking women who cum and giggle and play in the night. And that’s why everybody wants to set them on fire ‘cause they’re so fucking jealous."

"YAS KWEEN!"

“I AM NOT A MOM!”

"You never know if you never try and if you never try you never know."

“I’m only 27, what am I? A child bride?”

"You have been busting my balls all day over a sahaaaandwich shahooppe?!"

"I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like, “Shut up, little girl! Wash my feet!” And she’s like "uhhh don’t tell my dad ok? Because I’m just barely legal. I love shaved pubes and tanned, crispy bellies and taints.” It’s like ugh!"

"I don’t have any money. I’m a wittle baby."

“Buckle up, buttercup”

"Money is a mind control technique that used to quantify the progress of the patriarchy!"

"Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers up then then why did She make them perfectly finger sized ?"

"I’ll see you when u wake up, and if you don’t wake up I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna kill myself and meet you in heaven or whatever.”

"If you train your eyes, you can see their religion”

“I know it’s like “pwease Mr. Cwusty old white man, can I pwease keep my ovaries?” Alright bitch you better vote, text me when you do”

“I mean we had been together how long, and I still never saw nipples?”

“OOPS I guess I don’t know my own strength”

“Pillows are nature’s packing peanuts!”

“The student has become the teacher!”

"This is some high class shit."

"It's 2014. Anal is on the menu."

"Where ISN'T the bathroom?"

"I was cyberbullied within an INCH of my life last night"

“I saw your tweets and I wanted to check you out but I also wanted to respect your space”

"I am going to respect your dick later."

“You’re my lil cupcake”

“I once ate a corn on the cob. Including the cob”

"Ugh, who YELLS?"

"GET OFF THE BALLS AND GO!"

"Wanna get, like, a bunch of hot dogs?"

"Did you draw that painting?"

“You have to swipe yaas, you can’t swipe naas.”

“I fucked you in the ASS the first night we did ANYTHING. I think that’s pretty fuckin mature."

"Well aren't you a hot diggity dog and a scalawag to boot?"

"In the club, we are all family. Are you racist?"

“Welcome to Florida, America’s droopy dick”

"This is the men's room. Uh DOIIII!"

“You’re so full of shit I need a plunger."

“Thank you SO much for calling me a star”

"I'm an adult. I should be buying my own pot."

"Coat racks AREN'T for babies!"

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. But my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

"I like to call it jazz becomes it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it's gunna go."

"White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

"Next thing you know you're pregnant with his sperm and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless."

"We are garbage people living on garbage island!"

"I didn't know you had a veneer and I'm in that mouth on a regular basis."

"I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible."

"I really think you should put your weed in your front hole."

“We’re technically homeless right now.”

"Your ass looks incredible."

"Your ass looks incredible. Your head and body too. But we all know who’s the star of the show here.”

“Who am I? Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.”

“You want me to FaceTime from the bathroom?”

“Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!”

“Well, you are funny.”

"Animated movies are where it's at. They're like visual crack."

"All Hollywood media is porn, and all porn is kiddie porn. We live in a rape culture. We just do."

"Who would leave weed in a wall? A weed genius. And she'd leave it there indefinitely in case of emergency."

"Isn't it nuts that pickles were cucumbers? They're the trans people of the vegetable community."

"We are an incredible team and I love you."

"Smart and sexy. She is unreal, this girl."

"I've been overeating this week."

"How DARE you LIE to your WIFE?!"

"Do I or do I not have herpes?"

"Follow your third eye--your clit."

"It's my birthday, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"I mean, the female form---God's hottest creation."

"You have to respect the sanctity of the RSVP."

"Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you."

"You have a way of tainting everything I love."

"I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now."

"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore. I wanna rise and then like lay back down."

"It's like we knew it would happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"ADRENALINE!"

"To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look."

"WANNA FOOK?"

"Never have I ever read a newspaper."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

[aint-a-babe]

비탄, Seo Changbin.

(Heartbreak)

Warnings: a lot of angst, would not recommend reading if you're looking to read something cute and soft, breakup and heartbreak themes, so if you are sensitive to these don't continue reading. This imagine does not present any explicit content. 

Word Count: 1200.

Posted originally on my insta (@staybabe_)

Story inspired from Lauv's song "Who" ft. BTS.

I wanted to use a different angle on this. Typically when someone writes about breakups or heartache, the one who breaks up with the other is seen as a "bad person" and I wanted to provide another side of the story. Thing ends for a reason, right?

Other Changbin stories: none yet.

He couldn't remember the last time his throat was this dry. He felt nauseous, sick, but also better than ever before. Realization hurt him so deep inside and yet made him feel excruciatingly alive.

The ability to breathe slowly flooded into his body but it didn't come without tremors. That's when he noticed his shaking figure, a small thing that brought him too many memories, ones he couldn't differentiate between the good or the bad from anymore. 

This same feeling accompanied him when you first got together; when you smiled his way, your eyes closed tightly trying to fight a fit of laughter that was caused by him doing something unconsciously cute. When you gripped his hand while crossing the dark streets, afraid of the darkness the night had to offer.

And yet it's the same exact feeling as to when you first broke his heart and he yours, that one regretful night where you both said things you didn't know you meant till later on, things you both apologized rather quickly for, dismissing the others' words continuing as if nothing had happened.

He still couldn't realize how long he had been feeling this way, forgotten. Alone. But he wasn't eager to do so, he was already in enough pain being here with you right now. You were so unconscious of his thoughts and that only broke him down more. Changbin's chest tightened as he heard you laugh at the images that were showing on the television. That damned laugh caused him to shudder and feel at home all at once. 

His eyes shut when he heard the popcorn crunch in between your chewing, was he oversensitive? Or were you purposely pushing his buttons? This sensation of doubt wasn't new to Changbin. To this day he still couldn't tell if your actions were thought out -planned- just to spite him or if he was slowly growing tired of your presence.

A sigh left his lips as he parted them, this action gaining your attention. "Something wrong babe?" You asked him, not letting your gaze leave the screen in front of you. He turned his head to look at you once again, his features slowly turning into a frown as he sees your unaffected being. "Nothing" he mutters, but that seems to be enough for you since you continue eating your popcorn. 

'I can't do this anymore. I need space. I need to breathe again. I can't deal with us. I have to get away from. . . you.' 

These thoughts floated through Changbin's head over and over again for weeks now. Had he just noticed how definite they were maybe he wouldn't be in this position now. Constant guilt filled him every time you touched him, kissed him or even smiled at him.

He felt as if he were cheating on your emotions, he was stuck in a constant lie he couldn't get himself out of without hurting you. Yes, you were a barrier to his own happiness. Because even though he was sick and tired, he loves you and doesn't want to harm you in any way. 

And slowly he realizes it can't be dragged out any longer, the more it is the more he breaks your heart and the harder you fall. Tears started to fight their way to the surface, threatening to expose everything he has to hide from you. He looks towards the ceiling in attempts to control them, but as soon as he does one falls down his cheek, slowly making its way to his neck and disappearing into his shirt. 

He silently prayed for you to not notice as you do with everything, but the universe was clearly against him since you decided to nuzzle your head into his neck. Almost instantly feeling the dampness of his neck, you quickly turn to look at him and immediately see the redness in his eyes.

"Babe… what's going on?" You turn the TV off and leave your bowl on the table, turning back to him showing he has your full attention. When he doesn't speak, you decide to pry a little.

"Is it work? Is it stay? Are you stressed?" You question him rather quickly, not giving him time to think what he wants to say or do. You place your hand on his wrist rigging on it slightly. "You want me to draw a bath? We can get those salts and soaps Channie got us for our anniversary, maybe eat some ramen?" You smile, thinking you were helping.

But what Changbin did next was unexpected by both you and him. 

He snatched his wrist from you and stood up, causing you to fall into his spot on the couch, face first. "Just stop!" He raises his tone 5 levels higher, taking a deep breath he clutches into his hair. "Just stop, stop everything you're doing and let me think."

You sit up properly on the couch and look at him as he starts pushing around the room. You brush your hair behind your ears as it was starting to but you, the action helped you realize how fast your heart was beating but you weren't quite sure why. You weren't scared of binnie, in fact you've seen him this way one to many times before. This is how he gets when he has something that's been weighing on his mind for too long, so there isn't no any news for you to panic, right?

But your heart and heavy breathing betrayed you, something was wrong and it has to do with you, you just know it. You let him be, all he needed to do was figure out what he wanted to say and how, and so you let him.

After 5 minutes he stops and turns to you, and he isn't afraid anymore. The fear that was holding onto him has soon fled from his body as he looks into your eyes. Your beautiful eyes that once but not so long ago made his stomach turn to mush, but now gave him courage to do right by you, and by him. 

He knew it was his turn to be selfish, but it was time to let you go. "We… no." He takes a deep breath "I need to break up with you." He speaks softly, not feeling the need to pick up his voice or to get closer, and by the look on your face you could hear him, loud and clear. You couldn't help but let your mouth fall open to his words, now it was your turn to fight the urge to cry.

You study his features, not knowing what you're looking for. His expression was cold and yet filled with warmth, you couldn't read him at all and that's how you knew this was actually happening. If you could do one thing in this relationship it was reading his emotions and knowing his thoughts, but now… there was nothing left for you to read or see. Everything you knew about him disappeared from your memory, and the only thing left in that room was two complete strangers and a broken heart. 

[anochuu]

I Told You So

⤷Genre: Fluff

⤷Jung Hoseok x Reader

⤷Summary: Hoseok’s naivity is just too cute to handle

"You're going to catch love-flu and infect it to us all,Hoseok.Grow some balls and ask her out already."

The mentioned member snaps from his little world and look up to see Yoongi leans against the railing just beside him.

"You're kidding right? I'm not ready to get rejected this fast yet." He snorted.

"How do you even know she's going to reject you? You never asked how she feels!" This time the oldest member piped in from the side. Impatient enough to see him again staring across the studio where her form is moving there and about doing whatever the crews told her to.

"I don’t," Answered he, "But i just know that she either likes Taehyung or Namjoon."

"I'm sorry, i didn't know you changed your name to Cupid now?" Yoongi scoffed earning a glare from him.

"Look at the way she talks and look at them. All starry eyes and ....shit." He uttered with frustration buried deep within him.

"Language." Scold Jin, "Why don't you ask her and find out?"

"Thought it's easy,huh." Hoseok mumbles,resting a palm underneath his cheek and stare at the certain (h/c) haired girl once again,her faint laughter that he could hear sounded so melodious.

"Don't even regret and come crying to us when Namjoon did ask her out first."

He shot up,eyes widening at Jin, "What?"

He shrugs his shoulders,"He can be so obvious i mean come on,who knows her longer than any of us? Him."

"And who introduced her to us?"

"..Him" Hoseok trailed off; "Ugh,damn it. I can't argue with you guys." His eyes diverted at her once more as if it always has been his habit for him to always search for her whenever they are in the same places.

Being an idol does not stop the almighty maknae to develop a crush on one of their song writer who is involved in most of their track lists every time they made a new comeback. She was there to help them get up to their feet whenever each of the members are feeling down,or ready to give up at the starter of their debut which could be called not that successful yet.

When he was still lost and absolutely new to the harsh reality of becoming a trainee to be an idol, he saw her as a supportive sister but now that they have stepped into the adultery world, there is a chance for him to like her.

"Don't squint your eyes like that,or else i won't be able to draw eyeshadows on you." (Y/n) laughs, the music bank encore show was about to start in a couple of minutes but for the young man he needed more time as long as he can spend with her being close to him like this.

"I can't help it! My eyes are getting dry because of these lenses." He complaint,couldn't help but to feel on cloud nine currently.

However his appearance, his heart beats very loud in his ears and ferociously against his ribcage. The other day he was persuaded by the older members that he MUST ask her out soon and that day is today. But how should he do it? What questions should he ask her first thing to not look dumb and nervous in front of her?

Hoseok ran his tongue over the top of his lip,watching her back who is tidying up the make-up desk.

"(Y/n)," He called,catching her attention back at him.

"Hm?" She responded,blinking her eyes with a smile which made him gulp down another lump inside his throat.

"Uhh, listen i uhm- wanted to you know...well,that is of course but—i mean,i know you are busy and all yet i'm still wondering if..well-if you have time—i mean..!"

She rose an eyebrow, "Hoseok,you're rambling again." She chuckles, "What is it though?" This time she stand straighter, "It's okay,what is it you wanted to tell?" Her voice gentle and that envelopes his heart in a warmth he has come to known since he knew her kindness.

It took him literally a couple of seconds of another fidgeting, eyes roaming around as if searching for the right words to utter yet she is willing to wait for him patiently.

"I was thinking...if you want your—Our!..day off,to have coff-"

"(Y/n)!"

Their heads in a sync looks to the side to see the leader approaching with a relieved expression as soon as his eyes laid on them.

"Namjoon? What's up?"

"I've been looking everywhere for you," He said with a sigh,grabbing her wrist where Hoseok’s eyes were burn on to.

"What-"

"The production crews needs your help with the camera by the stage—" He then starts to drag her behind him without sparring another glance on the poor boy who was left alone in the dressing room,dumbfounded.

He works extra hard for today's stage show to conceal his dejected mood from earlier and deep within he curses himself for not being able to muster enough courage to spill those words out fast enough while he had the chance to. 

He gulps down a bottle of water one of the crews gave him after their stage show was done, panting heavily with sweats roll down from either side of his temples to the tip of his chin.

His eyes narrowed to the corner where he found her standing close to Namjoon once again. He frowns hard when she was wiping his sweats when all he got was another different women from the production team. 

"(Y/n)." He called her out,louder this time. He needs to get her,now or never.

"Ah!" Like a bulb just lightens on top of her head,her eyes widens. Excusing herself from Namjoon and grab a hold of Hoseok’s wrist this time after making sure no one is noticing them.

She pulls the male behind her back to the dressing room where they are now alone

"I forgot you wanted to say something to me earlier,what was it again?"

He turns flustered. He didn't expect her to remember that and with bold moves to drag him here just to speak about it; probably noticing how nerves-wrecking he was earlier embedded to the back of her head means he have something important to tell her in private.

He inhales a deep breath,biting his lower lip. Here goes nothing.

“Look,(Y/n) i— no matter how i reassure myself how you felt for Namjoon or the other way around...i just couldn't seem to let go of you." He began,studying her expression who is slowly widening her eyes after digestion.

"All i am asking now from you is that—is it possible, if i wanted to take you out for a coffee..? A dinner..?" His eyes pleading,biting the inner walls of his both cheeks when all he receives right now is just a silence from her.

"..Or maybe just a take-out back to our dorm might do for a date..?"

"Jung Hoseok.." She trails off, "Are you-asking me out on a date?"

"Is that not what i just said..?"

"H-hold on,you said—you said Namjoon and i—"

"I know,i know," He sighs, "I know how you two feels for each other but please,consider one for m-"

"Hold on i said," She raise a hand up, "You," She pointed at his chest with her index finger,

"Thought that,me and Namjoon likes each other!?"

Now it is his turn to grow confuse,the wrinkles between his eyebrows are now visible, "Are you not...?"

"Oh god.." She bursted out laughing.Hoseok watching her as if she had just grew another two heads on her neck.

"Jung Hoseok, Jung Hoseok..tsk tsk.." She sang nonchalantly, "Namjoon is my cousin! Didn't the others tell you that?"

Oh to hell with it...

His cheeks easily dominated by heat,trying to hide his redness, "N-no..but Suga and Jin hyung said—"

Of course you idiot,they lied to you!

He mentally slaps a palm over his face but then again why not do it physically,and so he did.

"..Please ignore the things i said today."

Her laughter grew louder, "Of course i can't do that,Hoseok-ah." She take a step closer,

"Are you shy now,hmm?"

"Stop looking at me." He mumbles behind his hands covering his face when she tries to peer into it.

"Aww you are! So my answer to that.."

She stand tips on her toes, placing a quick chaste peck of kiss on one of his cheek,catching him off guard. Almost in an instant his hands flails open; now she can clearly sees him blushing rather madly down at her.

"Wh-what was—“

"Yes,i would love to go on a date with you."

He unconsciously place a hand over his cheek where he just felt her soft lips smacked just for a second on his skin and (Y/n) couldn't help but to giggle while watching at his very dumbstruck movements.

"..C-could you...perhaps do that again?" He murmurs.

She lets out a small giggles,feeling butterflies inside her belly.

"As much as you want,honey pie."

-Bonus-

"Look at him,all fidgety and stuffs. Have you actually seen a baby on a date?"

"Jin hyung,he's 25."

"I don't care,he is still the maknae!"

The six members stuck their heads out on one corner of a walls,spying on the day where the two couple is on their first date.

"See,i told you so he would believe in the lies we made." Yoongi uttered.

"Where is she? It's been half an hour!" Jimin hissed,looking around.

"Silly,it's Hoseok who arrives way too early!" Yoongi groans, still don't get it why he is here.

"He bought two coffees,i bet one's for her."

"Though she likes mocha better." Namjoon muttered.

"Shut up cousin-complex."

"I do not!"

"Oh oh! She's here,she's here!"

"Woah-she actually wears a dress!" Jungkook beams when they watch the (h/c) haired girl enters the café,surprising the nervous male inside who keeps on biting his lips,smiling idiotically with or yet with her in sight.

"Are they leaving? Where are they going next?" Taehyung blinks.

"Jin hyung,move! I can't see with your shoulders!"

"Holy shit!" Jimin curses loud enough than their whisperings causing the others to shush him immediately.

"Look! He is holding her hand!" 

"Shit,he really is!"

Just then they saw the male stops in a halt,running back inside to the café before they can get too far from it,seeming to forget something or left behind an item leaving the (h/c) haired girl alone. They watch her took out her phone,sending a quick message as seen she is typing on the screen.

PING

Their face fell and some paled when almost simultaneously their phone rung a short notification ringtone inside their bags and pockets. Shakily,they take out  each of their devices and on the screen flashes a sentence.

When their eyes looks up in fear they already saw her staring at them with a smug smirk.Scrambling to get away fast and (Y/n) only shrugs her shoulders,looping an arm around Hoseok’s as soon as he came back again.

"Go home or i'll release all your predebut selcas."

[flowerboyethan]

Goodnite Socialite

Chapter 1: "Difficult For Me To Do, Quiet The Brain"

We all go through phases in our lives, right? There's ups and downs, high and lows, it's all part of the human existence.

Human existence seems subpar as of lately.

This voice has crawled into my head and made a home, filling my thoughts with nothing but negativity, sucking my motivation dry. I've done nothing but wake up, record a video, send it to my editor, and then crawl back in bed. I've been stuck in this damn routine for the past month, and people have noticed. What could I do? This voice refused to give me a break.

Luckily, Mark hasn't given up on me. Last week, we proposed a plan, a plan to create a channel to end in one year. He told me it might bring my motivation back, and I couldn't agree more. He dragged me out of bed today to record one video for Unus Annus and then drag me to some bar to watch his friend perform.

"A break from your routine would help," Mark had said as he dropped me off at my house to get ready. "Get you back on your feet."

I didn't want to be out in public, and certainly not inside a crowded bar. But Mark was right, I needed a break, I should push myself to get out.

I stood in front of my closet now, filing through different shirts to wear. Something nice, but not too nice. I glanced at my yellow hoodie.

A hoodie makes you look like a slob, the voice mocked.

I moved on to a long-sleeve.

Plain.

I huffed, grabbing a random shirt. It was a button-up, red, yellow, and blue geometric shapes against a grey background.

There was no snarky comment from the voice.

I put it on, shrugging in the mirror. I looked good, but I couldn't let myself admit it.

I texted Mark, letting him know I was ready. I gave Spencer a scoop of food, gave him a quick pat and headed out the door. Mark smiled as I hopped in the car.

"Lookin' good, man!" He exclaimed, backing out of the driveway.

"Thanks, where's Amy?" I asked. Amy was supposed to join us, but she wasn't in the car.

"Already there. She's helping Salem set up."

"Salem?"

"The friend you're going to meet."

I nodded. "That's a badass name."

"Fits her personality, too. She's sweet, just a little…" he paused. "Out there."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how I have a big ego?"

"All too well, my friend."

He ignored my comment. "She's that and then some."

I winced.

"You'll like her better than most people she's associated with."

He was making her sound like a bad person. I started to regret leaving my house. I wasn't up for dealing with a bigger ego than Mark's.

"She's a socialite," he continued. "She just does this cover band thing for fun."

I kept quiet. A socialite. So, she's rich. I hated the rich.

"Listen, man," Mark sighed, picking up on my silence. "You know me, I'd never be friends with someone that I didn't think was a good person. Amy's known her since they were teenagers. She's a good person. I didn't mean to give you a bad impression of her."

"It's okay," I finally spoke up. "I just don't know if I have the energy to meet someone like her."

Mark nodded in response, pulling into the bar's parking lot. It wasn't too packed, but we had to park a ways away from the door. We spotted Amy near the center of the bar, sitting at a small round table with several baskets of fries and a few beers.

"Hey!" She greeted us as we sat down. "You're just in time, they're starting in a few minutes." She slid a basket of fries and a beer bottle to me. "These are from Salem."

I was being buttered-up already by someone I haven't met yet. I smiled, masking away the truth. "Tell her thank you."

"You tell her yourself," Amy sipped on her own drink. "She wants to meet you after the show."

Puzzled, I asked why.

"'Any friend of Mark and Amy is a friend of mine' she said to me. And she always loves meeting new people."

"And she likes to show off," Mark piped up through a mouthful of fries.

Amy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's true. She can be a bit flirtatious, but she means well."

A flirtatious, egotistical, narcissist. A perfect reason to get out of the house. I sighed, looking down at my fries. Was I really stubborn enough to not eat these just because she bought them for me? I've barely eaten anything for the past month, I guess a few fries wouldn't hurt.

The lights flickered up on stage, drawing my eyes to a woman adjusting her base strap on her shoulders.

She looks pretentious, the voice mocked again. For the first time, I disagreed. She was stunning, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt tucked into her jeans. All my previous thoughts of her faded away. She was graceful but powerful in the stage lights, as if she belonged in the spotlight.

"Good evening, everyone!" The woman on stage purred in a singsong voice, placing her round glasses on top of her head to keep her wavy hair back. "Welcome to tonight's show!"

The crowd cheered as the rest of the band walked on stage.

"If you are new, my name is Salem. This is Melanie." She gestured to the soft-looking keyboard player who blew a kiss to the crowd. "Pike," an androgynist guitarist winked. "And Vivian," the drummer danced in her with her drumsticks in hand. "And we are Witch Haven!"

"Witch Haven?" I leaned closer to Amy, questioning the band name.

"An homage to her ancestors," she whispered back. "They were witches during the Salem Witch Trials. She gets her name from that, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, now hush!" She waved me off with a smile.

Salem continued to speak upfront. "We have a few covers lined up for you tonight, starting with Goodnight Socialite by The Brobecks." A few people in the crowd cheered. "Mel? Will you start us off?"

Their show began. For a cover band, they played well together, and didn't try to outshine the original artist. Salem, the lead singer, sang beautifully, and I could hardly look away.

Halfway through the song, her eyes landed on me. The anxiety that I had felt this whole month increased. My stomach turned, my palms sweating. Every time I glanced back at her after taking a swig of my beer, there her eyes were, dark, and fixed on me. I gulped, and she must have noticed. She winked at me. Was she into me? I felt myself give into that idea.

You think she'd ever be with a loser like you? The voice shot me down. You? She's rich, Ethan. She has no interest in you. Why would she ever be into you?

I covered my ears, trying to drown it out. Would this ever end? This low-point? Would I ever get a break. It was a mistake leaving my house, I should have protested to Mark more. I should be at home, with my dog, curled up in bed while I wallow in misery.

"Ethan?" Mark's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Ethan, are you okay?"

I paused, what could I say? They both knew what was wrong with me, so why ask?

"Is it too loud?" Amy asked.

I nodded, a good excuse.

"The next song is quieter. Or do you want to go home?"

I shook my head. Something in me wanted to stay, to possibly talk to Salem. Maybe I had a chance despite what the voice said.

After an hour, the band finished their show, and the bar started to clear out. Mark left to go talk to the band, Amy headed for the restroom, leaving me alone at the table with an empty beer bottle and a basket of fries. I watched Mark disappear backstage, I was truly alone in the bar now. Should I wait by the car? Do I wait here? I didn't know what to do.

Salem walked out from backstage, beginning to pack away the instruments and cords.

You should leave.

I stood up.

Leave! Now!

My feet involuntarily started towards the stage.

What are you doing?! What do you think will come of this?

I reached the stage, Salem’s back turned to me.

She doesn’t see you. You can still turn away and-

“Salem?”

She turned around, her shoes squeaking against the floor. She smiled, her tongue sticking out a bit. “Hello,” she cooed, crouching to meet my eyes. “And who might you be?”

Hazelnut. Her eyes were the color of hazelnuts. “I, uh- I’m Ethan.”

“Ethan!” Her eyes started to sparkle. “Amy told me about you. Come, come!” she stuck her hand out, waiting to pull me up onstage with her. “Any friend of Mark and Amy is a friend of mine.”

I took her hand, pushing off the ground with my foot to climb up. She fixed the collar of her Hawaiian shirt, shaking it out a bit. “How did you like my show?” She took her glasses off her head, cleaning them on her shirt.

“Oh, it- it was incredible,” I fumbled my words a bit, trying not to look at her stomach that was slightly exposed.

“Ah! Good!” She placed her glasses on her face. “I love meeting new fans. Now, do you have a favorite part, dear Ethan?”

My heart jumped. “Well, I- uh…”

She tilted her head a bit. “You seem so nervous! Is everything alright?”

“I'm- I'm just going through this anxious episode, thing.”

Stop talking.

“Oh, you poor thing!” She grabbed my hands, holding them close to her chest, causing me to stumble forward slightly. “I do hope my show helped!”

“It- it did! It did!” I stuttered. God, I couldn’t think straight. “It’s just that-”

“Did I upset you somehow?” She started to lean closer, concern covering her face.

Spit it out.

“You were making eyes at me!”

Salem dropped my hands, taking a step back. “I was doing what?” Her singsong voice disappeared.

You shouldn't have said that. 'Making eyes at me'? Who even says that? She winked at you, nothing more, you idiot.

“I was sitting near the back, and you couldn’t take your eyes off me, and-”

“Oh!” She started laughing. “Oh, no, my dear Ethan. My girlfriend was sitting in the back. I was making eyes at her!”

Every ounce of hope left my body.

“You must have been sitting in front of her,” Salem continued. “Her name’s Cherry. I love her to death.”

“You- you must be- you must have been- been together for a while, then?” I stuttered, shoving my sweaty hands into my pockets.

“Five years!” Her eyes lit up, clasping her hands together. “I couldn’t be happier. She always takes off after my gigs, though,” she stood on her toes, peering over me to scan the room. “She’s a busy woman, taking calls left and right. I’m proud of her!”

“I’m happy for you,” I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck. “Look, I’m really sorry for thinking-”

“Don’t be!” She took up my hands again, just like before. “You are so sweet and respectful, Ethan. Stuff like this happens more often than you’d think!”

“Wha- really?”

She nodded vigorously, her glasses slipping down her nose a smidge. “Some guys will straight up try to kiss me after a show without even asking. Pike will have to step in and throw ‘em out.”

“I’m so sorry that happens to you,” I was itching to leave now. I felt my stomach turning.

“But you are a gem, Ethan. Will you come to my next show?”

“When is it?” I was filling in words to get this over with. I had to leave.

She shrugged. “It’s never set in stone.”

“I’ll try my best, then,” I pulled my hands away. “I gotta go. It was so nice to meet you, Salem.” I hopped off the stage, speeding towards the door, hardly hearing Salem call after me.

“Goodbye, Ethan! Lovely to meet you!”

I stumbled through the exit, sprinting towards Mark’s car. I fell to the ground, dry heaving into the ditch. The parking lot was almost empty now, only a few cars parked on the other side.

I’m an idiot. A loser. How could I be so stupid to even think of talking to Salem? Let alone think she even had a desire to be with me. Of course, she was in a relationship. Of course, she had a girlfriend. Just my luck, falling for a girl who had no desire to even be with a boy.

Since when did I start crying?  I stopped dry heaving at this point. I sat on my thighs, knees digging into the dirt, sobbing into my hands.

“I’m such an idiot,” I choked on a tear. “Look at me, crying in a bar parking lot. Pathetic.”

“Ethan? Ethan!”

Oh, god. It’s Mark.

Mark grabbed my shoulders from behind me, gently pulling me to his chest. I kept my face in my hands. “Ethan, what is going on?”

“Ethan.” I heard Amy’s voice next to me. She started rubbing my arm with one hand, the other on my knee. “Ethan, everything’s gonna be alright.”

I whimpered, shaking my head, still covering my face. “No, it not.” I pulled away from Mark and Amy. I had nothing more to say. Everything was going wrong. This low-point, it felt like my world was ending. I wanted this voice gone, I wanted my motivation back, I wanted this anxiety to leave. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have spoken to Salem. I should never leave my house again.

They were silent for a moment, Amy rubbing my back as I hunched over, crying.

“Do you want to go home?” Mark asked, his voice soft.

I nodded.

“Will you be fine alone?” Amy chimed in.

I nodded.

“Let’s get you up,” Mark coaxed, placing his arm around my waist and a hand in mine. I never protested as he lifted me up and brought me to the car door. I usually would, claiming that I could do it myself. I was too tired to protest.

So tired…

[angellesword]

Contrast

Summary: Yoongi doesn’t know how to finish writing his song.

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Idol!Hoseok

Genre: Fluff, minor angst

Word Count: 2.8k (One-shot)

Warnings: discussion of insecurities

Yoongi glared at the intersecting lines in his strikingly white paper. The heavy red inked pen he used to draw those lines was enough to make his head hurt.

Sigh.

He just crossed out an entire stanza of the lyrics he wrote for three hours.

Three. Fucking. Hours.

The lyrics just didn’t fit on the beat of the song he produced. What the hell was wrong with him? He was usually satisfied with his works. In most cases, he could actually finish producing and writing a song in a short period of time.

So why couldn’t he do it now?

Was it the wine?  Yoongi absentmindedly ran his finger through his lower lip while thinking.

Was he too dependent on that bittersweet liquor so now that he stopped drinking it, he felt as though he couldn’t function well?

Was that it?

Or was it his pride?

Namjoon offered to help, but Yoongi just brushed him off. He knew Joon had a lot on his plate right now. With his upcoming mixtape, dance practices, meaningful speeches for their love yourself and speak yourself campaign, Yoongi didn’t want to become one their leader's responsibilities.

But the main reason was probably his pride. Namjoon could balance both his personal and work life. So why couldn’t Yoongi?

"Hyung?"

Yoongi felt a hand resting on his shoulder. For some reason, his body began to relax. He was wearing an extra layer of clothes, but he could still feel the comfort and warmth in this person's hand.

He looked back only to see the uneasiness in Hoseok's eyes, his hand was still on Yoongi's shoulder.

"Hobi...you're here...." Yoongi said. His voice was betraying him, though. It's like his system was still processing the fact that Hoseok was really here.

Inside his studio.

And it was just the two of them.

"Yeah. I knocked exactly twenty times." Hoseok replied meticulously, worry was still visible in his eyes.

Yoongi had this rule for the rest of the Bangtan members. They should knock twenty times before entering his studio. But the members, especially the maknae line, didn’t seem to understand the concept of knocking. The boys just barged into his studio whenever they wanted.

"You didn't answer, so I just pressed the magic numbers and went in." Hoseok shrugged his shoulders.

Since the Bangtan boys kept on invading Yoongi's studio, he decided to exercise the use of password lock, but Yoongi was bad when it came to remembering some stuff. There was this one night when he slept outside of his studio because he forgot his passcode.

So when he finally remembered, he immediately told Hoseok about it. He was the only person Yoongi could trust who wouldn’t invade his privacy.

"I brought some food, hyung..." Hoseok smiled brightly as he raised his other hand to show the paper bag containing take-out food.

"Hmm...thanks." Yoongi smiled a little. It's past midnight and he still hadn’t eaten dinner. He barely left his studio.

"Jimin asked me to have dinner with him, but I figured you're the one who needs someone to eat with so..." Hoseok finally removed his hand on Yoongi's shoulder, he then walked straight to the table.

"It's Chinese food. I hope you like it,” Hoseok turned to face Yoongi who was still seated on his swivel chair.

"I eat anything..." Yoongi kept on playing with his lower lip while looking at Hoseok intently. He was watching his every move carefully.

"Good! I brought a lot!" Hoseok smiled. It's the kind of smile that showed his little dimples. The one Yoongi liked the most.

"So...you're going to...eat with me...?" Yoongi asked even though he already knew the answer. Hoseok literally told him a few breaths ago.

"Yes. I just went out with Jimin so I can buy our food. And..." Hoseok stopped speaking momentarily to open the sachet of sauce using his mouth. "I didn't want Jimin to eat alone, so I waited for him to finish."

"I see..." Yoongi nodded.

Hoseok was really that type of person. He always made sure everyone was happy—that everyone was safe. He was always so full of love, especially when it came to his family, friends, and ARMYs, their fans.

Sometimes Hoseok's personality was too much for Yoongi. The former knew how to break almost everyone's wall. He knew exactly what to do or say to a person. He could make anyone feel so special—like you're the only person who matterred. He made everyone feel as though even their pettiest reason should never be ignored.

It scared Yoongi.

Because what if....

What if...he got the wrong idea? What if he thought that he was special, but then Hoseok did this 'special' thing to everyone?

Yoongi was not the smartest person, though he knew that vulnerability and oblivion were the greatest downfall of a human being.

Oblivion. Growing up, Yoongi didn't experience the warmth and kindness of this world. In fact, fate was a little cruel to him. He learned things the hard way. He grew up thinking that everything was not for free.

You wanted food? Okay. Suffer by walking from school to your home in exchange of using your transportation fee to buy a cheap cup of instant noodles instead.

You wanted money? Then let me buy your hard produced music beat for a few bucks.

You wanted to be famous? Spend your life as a teenager full of worries and questions. Will I even debut? How many more songs should I write and produce just to be rejected again?

Isn't leaving Daegu and going to a strange and cruel town enough? What more do I need to do?

You see, these things were some of the reasons why Yoongi could not accept the love and care Hoseok gave for free. Yoongi’s oblivion about unconditional love turned him vulnerable.

He didn't know that someone was capable of doing such things because he grew up in the absence of it. The little affection shown by Hobi made Yoongi feel a lot of things...to the point that he couldn’t control and distinguish it.

Was it love? Or was he just thankful to Hoseok?

"Let's eat, hyung~" Hoseok called, but Yoongi didn't move.

Hoseok pouted and went straight to Yoongi's back. He pushed his hyung's swivel chair until it reached the corner of the table.

Yoongi groaned when his upper abdomen hit the table's corner.

"That's what you get for being lazy." Hoseok stuck his tongue out at him.

Yoongi just shook his head—trying to ignore the fact that his heartbeat just doubled because of Hoseok's silly expression.

Both of them ate in peace. Yoongi wasn’t talking much because he was still worried about his unfinished lyrics. Hoseok, on the other hand, was busy with his food. Yoongi didn't mind. Hoseok's presence was enough to ease the tension he was feeling.

"By the way, Hyung. How's the song you've been writing?"

Yoongi froze the second he heard the question. He remembered promising Hoseok that he would let the younger boy hear it today. It's actually a song that would be rapped by the two of them this upcoming Festa.

Bighit decided to divide the Bangtan Boys into subunits for this year's anniversary. Seokjin, the best vocalist, and Namjoon, the band’s leader, would release a music video. It would be under the production of Golden Closet Film.

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk were phenomenal dancers so they chose to choreograph dance steps.

Hoseok knew that their members were doing their best. This made him a little anxious and pressured. He wanted to show his best abilities to the ARMYs so kept on pestering Yoongi about their performance. But now that he could see how stressful it was for Yoongi to finish the song, he suddenly just wanted to do something else.

"I'll let you listen to it by tomorrow..." Yoongi stood up and started cleaning the table. Both of them were done eating.

Hoseok noticed the change in Yoongi's mood. Did he say something wrong? Was he too demanding?

Uneasiness washed all over Hoseok again. He studied Yoongi's face. His hyung's lips were protruded into a small but sulky pout. His eyebrows were furrowed too.

Hoseok cleared his throat. He didn't want to upset Yoongi.

"Listen, Hyung..." He started. "Uh, you don't really have to do this...I mean, it's going to be an unofficial song, so....you should not...uhm...." Hoseok tried to find the right thing to say but he couldn’t. So instead, he just helped clean the table.

Yoongi stopped him, though.

"I'll clean up here, Hope. Just do something else..."

Hoseok pouted and sighed in defeat. Yoongi must have been really upset.

Hoseok was dying of curiousity now so he went to his hyung's working table to know what had gotten him so unmotivated.

He raised his brow when he saw five crumpled papers on the table. There were also at least ten scattered white papers here. What really caught his attention was the paper with a big X mark on it.

Hoseok read the words on that paper. A small smile formed in his lips when he realized that Min Yoongi was genius.

This sounds so cliché

but believe me when I say

your smile completes my day

we're contrast, just like what they say

i'm monochrome and you're a rainbow

my dark picture has been colored by you, oh you.

Baby you're my muse. (and my only hope)

"Hyung, why did you remove this? It's brilliant!" Hoseok went near Yoongi just to shoved the paper on his face.

Yoongi immediately snatched the paper away from Hoseok. Damn. He should've thrown this stupid paper in the trash bin!

"I-It's stupid, Hope...." Yoongi avoided Hoseok's shinning eyes.

Did he notice that the song was for him?

"It's not! ARMYs will like it! I like it! No—I love it!" Hoseok grabbed Yoongi frail shoulders, causing him to groan. Yoongi's body felt weak. He had been sitting on his swivel chairs for hours.

"Hyung, you might think I'm only saying this out of guilt for not helping you..." Hoseok bit the inside of his cheek. Sure, he was really guilty but... "You know I don't lie. When I say it's beautiful, it is really beautiful..."

Beautiful. He said that word as if he wasn’t just pertaining to the lyrics but also to the person in front of him.

"So what if it's cheesy? I've always admired your talent for conveying feelings into meaningful words, Yoongi-hyung."

Yoongi blushed. Here we go again. Why did Hoseok always know the right thing to say? Or did he? Maybe those weren’t really the right words. It's just what Yoongi wanted to hear.

Maybe it's never about the right words but the right person.

And maybe it's the way Hoseok spoke or the way he looked at someone as if that person was the sole reason why the sun rises, and why the moon illuminates the heavy, dark night.

"Why are you doing this to me, Jung Hoseok?" Yoongi glared at Hobi. His eyes were slightly red because of unshed tears and frustration.

"W-What do you mean, Hyung?" Hoseok stammered.

Yoongi blinked and then he took a step backward when he noticed how Hoseok's eyes quivered in trepidation.

"I'll finish the song before the anniversary, Hope. Just trust me..."

Hoseok sighed in relief when Yoongi smiled. Nothing else mattered when he saw that gummy smile.

Hoseok’s phone suddenly vibrated.

"Oh! Hyung! Look! Our company just posted the concept photos for the Festa!" Hoseok enthusiastically visited their page to see the photos in his phone.

Hoseok couldn't be happier to see that his favorite photo of him was the album's cover. It took him and the rest of the members two days to finish the photo shoot.

It turned out really well.

But his happiness was short-lived because after several minutes, his photo's likes didn't increase at all.

25,010 likes. 3,056 comments. 743 shares.

He checked the photos of other members.

107,346 likes. 8,222 comments. 4023 shares.

Hoseok couldn't keep track on the numbers on his co-members' photos because it was increasing rapidly.

He was delighted since his members were well-loved and respected by the fans. However, he couldn’t deny the fact that he felt insecure.

It had always been like this. People liked the other members more than Hoseok. He was also often the target of mean and baseless comments on social media platforms. As much as he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t. Some words were too painful. He couldn’t stop thinking that perhaps, they were right.

"Hope..."

"Yeah?" Hoseok flinched when Yoongi touched his shaky hand.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi questioned with furrowed brow. Hoseok's face was really, really pale.

"Huh? Uh...yes. I'm just...." He trailed off. Hoseok didn’t want to lie but he also did not want Yoongi to think he was being petty.

But Yoongi wasn’t having any of his bullshit.

"I know that face so don't you dare lie to me." Yoongi’s voice was low and full of authority. "What's wrong?"

Hoseok swallowed. Hard. He didn't dare to speak.

"Hope, I am asking you..." Yoongi warned. He took a step forward while Hoseok took a step backward.

This annoyed Yoongi. He took another step forward but Hoseok repeated his annoying move. Though, this time, he hadn't done it successfully since his ankle hit the front leg of the swivel chair.

And because Yoongi wouldn’t stop invading Hoseok's personal space, Hobi just decided to take a seat on that swivel chair.

Hoping Yoongi would stop, Hoseok released another sigh of relief.

Yoongi had finally stopped walking towards his direction.

But it's not because he was done with Hoseok. It's just that Yoongi was now standing at most three feet away from Hoseok's swivel chair.

"I asked you what's wrong, Hope. You. Did. Not. Answer. Me." Yoongi said firmly. He even snatched the phone away from Hoseok's grip.

Yoongi's forehead creased because of confusion. What's with these pictures and why was it making Hoseok sad?

Yoongi scrolled down to see all the pictures, trying to understand what's wrong with it. Not a minute passed but Yoongi already knew what this was all about.

"We talked about this, didn't we?" The look on Yoongi's face screamed “I am disappointed.”

That's the problem with Yoongi. When he offered a solution to a problem, he instantly believed that it was the best and it should be followed.

Like when he told Hoseok to ignore the people who didn’t appreciate him, he thought Hoseok's insecurity would just magically go away. Because in Yoongi's case, it had always been like that. Whatever Hoseok did or said,Yoongi believed and followed it.

"You really think the damn numbers matter? Hope, you're..." Yoongi could not finish his sentence. What was the perfect word to describe Hoseok? Did that word even exist?

"This is the reason why I don't want to say anything to you, hyung. You won't understand." It took Hoseok everything not to let his voice crack.

Perhaps Hoseok's greatest downfall was fear. Fear of not being enough. Fear of not being able to show the role he himself wanted to portray. Fear. Fear of not attaining the security he wanted to reach.

It's not about the money. It's not about him getting tired from going extra mile for other people.

It was fear. Fear of not being loved. Fear of leaving this world and not being able to justify the importance of his existence.

Because, why did it have to be him? There were so many people who deserved to live. To be in his position. But why him? What's so special about him?

"It's not that I won't understand, Hope. I can't understand..."

But Hoseok didn't say anything again. He was just trying so hard to purse his lips together and God, Yoongi's patience was being tested.

"You're so fucking insecure. Do you know that?”Yoongi leaned forward so his face leveled Hoseok's.

Yoongi titled Hoseok's chin as he examined his face.

"We should do something about that..." Yoongi whispered. His eyes were still busy scrutinizing Hoseok's face.

"Y-Yoongi..." Hoseok's voice was soft.

Yoongi smirked. His stomach twisted when Hoseok dropped honorifics.

"Yes, Hope?" Yoongi bit his lower lip, trying to catch Hoseok's eyes.

"You go around making other people feel loved when you can't even..."

Hoseok's breathing hitched when he noticed that Yoongi's face was just a few inches away from his probably flushed face.

"Love yourself..." Hoseok closed his eyes when Yoongi left a light as a feather kiss on his lips.

It's just a peck but his body reacted differently.

He knew wanted more.

But Yoongi did not have a plan to repeat that move again.

Yoongi walked towards his working table and immediately stopped the camera from recording.

Hoseok's eyes widen.

Fuck.

They are being recorded.

"I'm not gonna finish this song, Hope. I know what to show to our ARMYs. I’ll let them know who loves you.” Yoongi slightly raised the camera.

He just smirked when Hoseok still remained quiet.

So much for writing a song.

[addytheheartbreaker]

Blind Memory

Chapter 3: Something hopeful

The asylum can be creppy yet haunting for the moment you stayed this place for a very long time ago until your sanity will drop out and get used of it as you become one of them which is called insanity. By the echoing noises across the empty halls in the early morning, the door belongs to the Rabbit brothers that they stayed and slept for god knows 9 years. Joen peacefully sleeping his comfy bed after that long hours inside the Box for some reason was his attempt to escape by the psychiatrist and the guards with his outburst, he smiled at his sleep finally had his head rest from the horrific noises, bad odors from his inmates inside their solitary confinement who are in between his cell, lack of comfort of sleep because of his restrained jacket and laying at the rough floor and most of all his hunger.

He haven't been eaten any dinner after his attempt to escape for an hour which he deeply regretted for skipping his meal and not being with his brothers as such. He was in deep tiredness as he heard shouting from his ears causing him to wake up and hurt his eardrum to who ever woke him up this early morning.

Jason: WHITE!!! Wake up!

Leon: its time to wake up White.

Joen groan in annoyance, sit up from his bed slowly with the black rabbit's assistance to carry his body in sitting position and yawn tired, rubbing his eyes before he confronted his younger brothers.

Joen: *groan* Why do we have to wake up so early in the morning?

It is 6:30 am, that is the asylums daily routine to wake up early in the morning and the start of the day. Nothing much actually. The white rabbit lazily stands up from his bed and scratching his head, looking at his brothers together with their own stretches, Helios is still sleeping while Jacob tried to wake the big black and white rabbit besides Leon and Jason fixing their beds.

Leon: White, you should go take a shower first. I could smell you stinking out at your sleep while we snoozing at night.

In all honesty, the black rabbit isn't lying. The white rabbit did in fact smells horrible because of his sweat and tears during his solitary confinement time. Joen rolled his eyes, slowly leading his way to the opened metal door before giving a small fart to make the younger rabbit disgusted from his mischief action and giving the white rabbit a punch at the shoulder causing them to laugh together before he headed to the mens bathroom.

7 am they all went to the canteen where they all lined up in boredom. The Rabbit man felt his stomach growling loudly through his ears with a sigh in annoyance about the fact he haven't eaten for a long hours and he waited impatiently from the line of his inmates are getting their food trays. This place felt like a prison instead of a asylum because when he finally made it to the line, his tray was nothing but less food or anything that he likes. However his oldest brothers told the other 4 to force eat the food that they gave them in their trays because the lunch lady isn't really kind enough to give the patients what they really like or inmates isn't allowed to sneak inside the asylums kitchen to steal food. He hated about this and went to his brothers same table they hang out together.

Eating just a small portion of vegetables, meat and a single apple at the corner of his tray, to his brothers have different foods they get but the portion of their food is less like he had except his brother Jason who was a bowl of cereal and suger for some reason. Forcing himself to eat like he didn't mind because he likes food yet the asylum canteen is worse then the school canteen when he and his brothers are just young cotton balls.

They aren't allow to go back to their cells instead all the patients will either go to their own routine, some has a schedule for their therapy section. For Joen, he has one, he couldn't just skip to meet his same psychiatrist since the guards in this place is well secure and much stronger then him when he outburst his rage toward his psychiatrist or his attempt to escape out of struggle. As for his brothers, the brown rabbit is actually been to the same routine, Jacob did been to the Box multiple times but not mostly then Joen's. Helios has been restrained like Joen to prevent him to go crazy from the hallucinations that haunts him and often go to a room which they didn't know or explore that room, Leon however been out of reality at the same chair and table with yellow flower that he pluck it out making a huge mess while singing weirdly or doing scary pranks at patients, doctors, guards or anyone except for his brothers. Although his youngest brother Jason, the gray rabbit has been to the Box for just 2 or 3 times then the white rabbit and the brown rabbit.

They all had their own daily routine, the Rabbit's psychiatrist will be here soon and he had time to go any therapy section that is available. Two rooms that he enjoyed, one was the music room which is mostly what he and the 5 Rabbit brothers was most talented. He always be there to practice dancing his own dance moves with inspiration from his brothers, singing vocally and mostly writing his own song with his own head, he is a very intelligent rabbit man he is. Speaking of intelligent, the other room he always went were the puzzle room to test the patients intelligence. Books, puzzles experiments, and interesting education is just what Joen like the most. Being the smartest rabbit from his brothers, he likes to have a common everyday questions. He may be a mentally unstable rabbit man but he is still the most smartest one of the asylum.

Hours later, the speaker called his name echoing through the halls with Joen jolt his head with a twitch then sigh as he get off from his chair and left the room grumpily walking through his way to his favorite (hated) psychiatrist to her office. Hours later of argument talk to his psychiatrist, it is almost night time with his brothers going back to their cell to rest. Joen came in the room with just 3 of his brothers, he knew his brother Jason will always be the last one to came back to the room. The white rabbit take a deep breath before yawning by tiredness again due that he is still tired from the lack of full sleep. Before he could went to his bed, he heard something from the outside of the door through the halls.

Joen look back at the door window and take a peak at the window door to see what it is.

A sound of metal wheels squeaking, loud multiple foot steps walking through the empty hallow halls that some screaming and shouting at the distance, a quiet faint sobbing that sounds almost like a little girl crying. He look closely seeing the shadows of many people coming to pass his cell as the people revealed was doctors and nurses behind the new patient while one big guard carrying a type of stroller that has chains and a strapped little girl crying with her head down.

Walking almost pass his cell, the little girl has black, long hair in a messy pigtails and a white bandage around her face to cover her eyes when she raise her head and look at Joen's door with her wet face and a soaked bandage from her eyes as if she has been crying for hour. The Rabbit man could make out what she looks like behind the bandage covering her eyes and the people who carried a mysterious new patient girl carried her to her cell. Curiosity lead to some sort of feeling, that's what he felt when a new patient came to this place, he became pity from them if they are stuck in this place for a life how long will she last long.

Jason: White?

Joen heard his brother called him from behind and turn his head to see his brother.

Jason: its time to bed.

Joen: yeah Gray, I'll be on my bed for a moment.

He soon went to his bed with his hand rubbing into his face as he groan. He had a long day of a never ending boredom from the asylum. No fun or anything new for him to see, he still thinking about the amusement park he used to have along with the circus. Yup, he still missed his old times at the amusement park where he entertained, cheer, do magic tricks and things that he loves, food which he made and his favorites that he want to devoured for his greedy stomach after that long starvation when he is finally release and lastly..... He missed his time with his brothers together with a song they all make for the longest time as a family together in one house.

Unfortunately, the asylum has become his home too..... That he loves and hated so much. Joen loves to wear all white straightjacket that is so crazy which reminds him of his crazy ringmaster suit that doesn't fit him anymore. He likes to keep the straightjacket after he release him but if they doesn't allow him to keep it then he must make one for himself, actually he doesn't know how to draw his own straightjacket design that he likes, his time at the music room and the puzzle room where he boost up his talent in the highest level in the past 9 years and mostly that one friend who is now release 3 years ago.

However, what he hates is everything. Torture, restrainment, lack of proper food and sleep and the people who put him into the Box, the horrible smell, the disgusting inmates beside his Box, the noises that he wanted to block his ears and most of all loneliness. He hates being alone at the Box where he is unable to call for his brothers that he needed them the most from the intense mental breakdown for hours for christ sake!

He said goodnight to each of his brothers as they said goodnight in return before forcing them to swallow a single sleeping pill to knock them out to slumber. Joen was in deep sleep opening his eyes to his dreamscape nonetheless this isn't his....

Joen look around his dream and it felt something wrong about this dream. This dream isn't his, the dream revealed a location that he never went there at all. The place in his dream was some sort of school, a huge school and he is standing at the middle of a open spaces. He started walking around the huge school with strong curiosity and excitement, this may not be his school that he used to enrolled but this dream just told him to explore the place.

He went around, up and down, reading articles and some books can be found in classrooms, the calendar even wrote the same year and date, rooms he could look around, he teleported to return to where he had started, then lastly he is going to explore the huge stage outside the open space of the school where he just first standing. He look around the stage first then ended to the right side of the stage with stone stairs, he get into the first step of the stone stairs until he heard a soft humming song at the stage. He didn't look up until he step by step through the stairs then stop where he was going, there is someone at the stage seeing just right infront of him with her back showing, she looks familiar to him.

There is a girl in a white dress, black long hair in pigtails and there is a bandage around her but couldn't make out her face because he is behind her.

Joen: hello?

He said giving a stranger a small greeting to caught her attention. Did he saw this person before?

She flinch from behind that someone is here in this lonely place, she turn around slowly to meet the rabbit man behind her with her bandage covering her eyes. Joen was surprised to see the girl turn her face to him. This is the same girl he just saw at the halls, the new inmate.

To be continue.....