#this took me the whole day byee

[lemonrush]

ringo & george 🐇🎀

[askinkiskarma]

The Archer | Chapter V: This Is Me Trying

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Summary: A vision Neteyam sees at the Spirit Tree puts a strain on your relationship and leaves more questions than answers. Another RDA atrocity leaves the Metkayina reeling and sets in motion events whose consequences will haunt you forever.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 11.6k words

Warnings/notes: smut(18+, minors DNI!), angst, mentions of death, blood, violence, cursing, SPOILERS for ATWOW

A/N: This is it, the chapter where it all goes to shit! I am very excited to explore the second half of the movie and put my own little spin on it. I hope you enjoy where the story is going and are as excited as I am for what's in store. The song the reader sings to Tuk is important for the story, as are all the lyrics I put in it, and if you replace the river with Eywa, it all fitsss! Why am I seeing Eywa in Frozen 2 we'll never know, but here we are. Also, whilst the beginning quote usually speaks to the reader's feelings, this one I felt fit all of the three POV characters in the particular hardships each of them are going through. Ok I'll stop rambling enjoy thank you for asking to be tagged and liking and reblogging and replying ily byee

I've been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

The next day, the tension between Lo’ak and Ao’nung seemed to dissipate, and you knew whatever happened after Lo’ak took off was enough to mend a relationship you thought was too broken to ever recover. Boys, you rolled your eyes. They would almost kill each other, and it would all be forgotten the next day. You and the rest of the Sullys, as well as Rot’xo, Tsireya and Ao’nung were hanging out by the beach, as Lo’ak recounted his encounter with the tulkun that saved his life.

“I wish I’d been there. The ocean blessed you with a gift, brother.”

“The tulkun have not returned yet. And anyway, no tulkun is ever alone.”

“This one was. It had a…a missing fin, like a stump on the left side.” Lo’ak was looking only at Tsireya when he spoke, like she was the only one there. She was also enraptured by his presence, and fear flashed across her features as the realisation hit.

“Payakan. It’s Payakan.”

“Who’s Payakan?” Kiri asks, a concerned look on her face.

“A young bull who went rogue. He’s outcast, alone. And he has a missing fin.”

“They say he is a killer.” Tsireya looked at your brother almost in pain, pleading Lo’ak to hear her.

“He killed Na’vi, and other tulkun…not here, but far to the South.” 

You and Neteyam exchanged a look, worried for your baby brother who was in such proximity with an apparent monster. 

“No, he’s no killer.”

Tsireya reached for Lo’ak’s arm, and you watched as he wrapped his hand around her wrist, holding her intimately. 

“Lo’ak… you are lucky to be alive.”

“I’m telling you guys, he saved my life. He’s my friend.” 

You saw your mate get up from his spot to place his hands on his brother’s shoulder, a desperate attempt to defuse an increasingly tense situation. 

“My baby bro, the mighty warrior who faced the killer tulkun, and lived to tell about it.”

Lo’ak pushed himself away from Neteyam’s grasp, evident annoyance and frustration emanating from his whole body. 

“You guys aren’t listening.” 

Tuk, who was nestled in your lap, spoke in the cute voice that made you melt on the spot.“Lo’ak, I’m listening…” 

“Lo’ak, come back…” you tried to call after him, but it was too late.

“You skxawng.” You heard Kiri say as your brother walked away. 

You gently removed Tuk from your lap and got up, determined to not leave him alone. He was alone far too often, and you wanted him to know he didn’t have to do this by himself. Neteyam gave you a look, and you knew he felt hurt that you were leaving him for his brother, and hurt that he knew Lo’ak would much rather prefer your presence to his. He always had, ever since you were all children. 

You ran across the beach and caught him right as he was getting in the water. 

“Wait up, you irk.” He didn’t stop until he hit the water, and you had to physically arrest him with your hand around his arm. 

“Lo’ak!” 

“Why does nobody ever believe me? Why doesn’t she believe me?” 

Of course this was about Tsireya. You smiled a little at your oblivious baby brother. 

“She does believe you, you skxawng, she’s just worried about you.”

He turned instantly in his spot. 

“You think?” 

You rolled your eyes and huffed a frustrated exhale. You called for an ilu and motioned for him to get on his own. 

“Come, I want to meet this Payakan.” 

You could tell Lo’ak was annoyed he had to wait for you, as you were not as fast or experienced in the water as he was, and needed to come up for air a lot more, but he didn’t complain. As you reached Three Brothers Rocks, he called loudly for Payakan, and you felt like an earthquake engulfed you as the massive creature surfaced. You were still a little scared by the tulkun, holding on tightly to your ilu, but you believed your brother - you trusted him, and you wanted him to know that. 

Lo’ak immediately jumped from his ilu and onto the fin of the tulkun, which could comfortably fit a few Na’vi on it. He closed up on Payakan’s eye, and spoke looking closely into it.

“It’s good to see you.” Through sign language, Lo’ak continued speaking to his new friend. “Why are you outcast? What happened?”

You heard Payakan make a trilling sound you couldn’t understand, but you knew from the Metkayina they had their own complex language that you hoped in time you could master somehow. 

“I trust you. You can trust me.” 

The tulkun gave another trill that sounded quite content, and you smiled at the real connection that blossomed between these two. You saw Lo’ak smile a gummy, wide, genuine smile, and you couldn’t remember the last time you last saw it. The thought made you sad, but you pushed it aside. 

“I want to introduce you to someone.” Your brother motioned for you to dismount your ilu and follow him, which you did cautiously. 

As you reached his eye, you brought you fingers to your forehead and signalled an “I see you” to the mighty creature and smiled as it pushed its massive head a little closer to you. 

“This is my sister.” You saw Lo’ak signal. You were both hanging on the fin when you felt it being lowered, and your brother told you to take a deep breath and hold on. 

The next few hours were some of the most spectacular of your life, as you allowed Payakan to carry you around on his massive fin, feeling similar to how you did when flying at high speeds on top of your beautiful ikran. You mostly watched though, feeling as though Lo’ak deserves this moment for himself, deserves this connection that is his and his alone. 

Eventually, they returned and you both got on top of him, sunbathing on his back while he floated away peacefully. 

“So… Tsireya, huh?” 

You smiled as Lo’ak turned purple. 

“It’s ok, Lo’ak. You can talk to me.” 

“I feel weird talking about this with you.” 

“Oh…” you felt a little hurt at the comment, but decided not to push. “You don’t have to, I just thought you might like to. I don’t want you to feel alone, or like you can’t tell me things.” 

“I would like to, it’s just, I have loved you my whole life, and for so long I thought that there was a chance that you and I might…” he shook his head, like he was trying to push the idea out of his mind, before continuing. 

“It was weird between us, for a while, it was hard for me to watch you with my brother, knowing you were just one more thing he got that I didn’t… just one more thing he beat me at.” 

“I’m not a prize you win at a carnival, you know?” You raised your eyebrow in his direction, a little indignant at his comments.

“I know… what I’m saying is that it is just a little strange for me, in light of everything we have been through. But I want to talk to you, if you want to listen.” 

Neteyam decided there was no point in dwelling on his brother, or on you, both of whom were adults, and able to make your own decisions - and if that decision meant abandoning him and the rest of them on the day you were all supposed to go see the Cove of the Ancestors for the first time, then so be it. 

With a small sigh, he got up from the ground and helped his sister up. Kiri eyed him intently, trying to gauge how bad his mood was, and right now, he couldn’t tell. He just knew he wanted to go, and calm down before he even thought about it further. 

“Let’s go, it will be eclipse soon and I think you will really like it.” 

He was excited to see the spirit tree, excited to see how it would differ from Vitraya Ramunong. He was excited to see what Eywa had to show him, what vision or dream he would be transported to this time. He tried not to dwell on the last time, the one he saw Auntie Jo and how she told him you were almost dead, tried not to dwell on the memories of seeing you in that room, a small and frail human, tubes protruding in and out of you like a nightmare he couldn’t wait wake up from. 

They all got on their own ilu, except from Tuk who got on Kiri’s, and when they were all ready, they left. Neteyam was still amazed at the underwater beauty of this world, so unlike his own, but just as mesmerising, and he wondered if he would ever get used to it - ever not have his heart pick up speed in his chest at all the colours and the fish, at the coral and the reflections of the sun on the surface of the water, on his skin. When they resurfaced, Neteyam saw floating islands, that brought him back home a little, to the miracle of the Hallelujah mountains, although these were a little different, much smaller and flatter, and he thought with a swell of pride that although the beauty of this corner of the world was unparalleled, there still was nothing to top his own. 

He took it all in, feeling all the resentment and anger melt away at the sight, arcades reaching peaks he could barely see, and the shift in the air reminded him a lot of the Tree of Souls - he felt Eywa in it, knew she was here, with them, right now. His thoughts lingered on you, on the fact you were missing this, that his brother was missing this, and how much he knows you would have enjoyed it. He imagined your face, glowing in surprise and awe, mouth agape and eyes wide, your ears flickering animatedly and freckles glowing stronger than usual, and he felt the pang of jealousy and hurt return in full force, fighting with his conscious mind that was telling him to let it go. 

“This is the Cove of the Ancestors. Our most sacred place.“

Neteyam felt blinded by the sun as eclipse was starting to set in. He put a hand in front of his face to relieve some of the discomfort, and when he removed it, he was once again in unadulterated shock at the seascape beneath him. Bioluminescent glow brought light to the entire cove, purple and pink and blue. 

“This is it. This is the Spirit Tree.”

The tree was resting on the ocean floor, and unlike their own, it was adorned with enormous leaves, reminiscent of delicate sea anemone. They dove in, each of them choosing their own, and he reached for his queue, gently bringing it forward to form the Tsaheylu. He felt air fill his lungs as the tree was providing a way to maintain the bond for longer underwater, and he was grateful as he always was, for Eywa and the way this planet worked together to maintain balance and a sense of communion among all its inhabitants. 

He felt it instantly, being transported through space and time, through dimensions into a higher one, higher than his own, higher than he’ll ever know until his death. 

He woke up outside of the clearing, your clearing, back in the forest, and his heart constricted at the sight. The smell of the wood and wet ground, the moisture in the air from the morning dew, the constant buzzing and humming of life all around him, the feel of the grass on his feet that he wiggled, trying to memorise the sensations it evoked in him. 

He heard the unmistakable sound of a guitar, and a song he has never heard before playing, muffled voice breaking through the rest of the quiet sounds. He rushed to it, excited to see you, even in this universe, parallel to his own, you were still the only light guiding him. He was going to call for you, when the voice caught in his throat and his mouth remained agape, too surprised to remember to close it. It was you, but not as he has known you for a year now. It was human you, sick you, pale and skinny, wet from unshed rain, hair clinging to your bony back. You didn’t turn to face him, continuing to play the song that rang painful in his ears now, like it didn’t belong - like you didn’t belong. 

Our coming-of-age has come and gone

Suddenly this summer, it's clear

I never had the courage of my convictions

As long as danger is near

And it's just around the corner, darling

'Cause it lives in me

No, I could never give you peace

“Atan?”

You stopped playing and finally turned to him, and he hated seeing you like this, brittle and frail, so unlike the you he knows and loves, so unlike your soul, which shone brightly and stood tall. A kaleidoscope of emotions crossed your features as you took him in, a mix of fear, and happiness, wonder and anguish, all fighting for supremacy on your face. 

“How are you here?” 

“How am I here, how are you here, Atan? What is going on?” 

“It’s good to see you. I missed you.” 

Neteyam was so confused, his mind was mush trying to understand what was going on. He saw you slowly wander towards him, a soft smile on your face as you seemed to make up your mind about which feelings plagued you seeing him in front of you. 

As you approached him, he tried to not focus on your ghastly features that he still had nightmares thinking about at night before bed, and he thanked Eywa for bringing you back to him, healthy and strong again. 

You reached a hand for his face, that you stroke gently, and he couldn’t help lean into your touch, still familiar and necessary, even in this strange world, in this uneasy scenario. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Neteyam. I am so happy to see you again, but you need to go.” 

You were as tall as him, he mused. Even in your human body, you were as tall as you were in your Na’vi form, top of head reaching his chin, and he took you in his arms and into a hug, that he needed desperately. 

“I don’t understand, Atan. What is happening?” 

You hugged him back, as tightly as you could in this body that was falling apart in front of him, and pulled back, resting a hand above his heart, a soft tear falling down your cheek. 

“Neteyam, I don’t have a lot of time.” You looked panicked around you, and he knew your time together was quickly coming to an end. 

“Your life is fast approaching a crossroad and when it reaches, you will have a choice to make. Please, please choose right. And please, don’t think about me again, or about this. You can’t think of me again and you can’t tell anyone about this, you can’t tell me about this, do you understand?” 

Neteyam couldn’t speak, couldn’t process what was happening in front of him. He didn’t have to, though, as you brought your face to his and kissed him, salty tears falling all over your face and into the kiss, that he felt staining the taste of you, that he loved so much. The last thing he saw was you walking away, your hand that you were resting on his body dripping in red liquid down your arm and onto the ground, that he recognised faintly as blood. 

“I love you so much. I hope we never see each other again.” 

He was violently pulled out of his dream by a hand shaking him awake, and the world came bluntly into view once more, commotion happening all around him. He turned to face the cause, and almost drowned as he saw his baby sister shaking aggressively, the freckles all over her body flashing concurrently.

He immediately rushed to her side and pulled her out of the water, by which time she had completely lost consciousness, and called for an ilu. He didn’t even have time to think about his own stirring experience, as every thought was screaming in terror and fear for his sister, who was not responsive at all, and whose previously bright markings were now completely dim. 

Neteyam had to clear his mind and think. He’s seen seizures before, as they sometimes appeared in people who had the disease you helped cure. Kiri inhaled a lot of water as she was seizing, and her absent breath brought his own laboured one forward. He knew what to do.Thirty compressions, two breaths, thirty compressions, two breaths. As he continued the CPR, he saw with relief flooding his being that his baby sister gasped for air, now breathing on her own. 

“Get her to the village. Hurry.” He thinks that was Tsireya, he was too focused on Kiri to care. 

“Let’s go, let’s move.” He didn’t stop to see if any of them were following him, hurrying as much as he could to get her to safety. 

You were happy you came with Lo’ak, although guilt was starting to gnaw at you when you thought about Neteyam’s hurt expression as you took off. You blew him and the rest of your family off on one of the most important days here, the day you were supposed to see the Tree of Souls. You knew that, but you knew it in your heart that Lo’ak needed someone to talk to, outside of his new mammalian friend, someone to show him he’s not as alone as he feels every day. Unlike the rest of them, you knew all too well the deep ache that came with feeling all alone, and you couldn’t bear the thought of your baby brother going trough that. You smiled a little to yourself at your conversation, and your now better understanding of his feelings towards the kind Metakyina girl, and you were grateful you were able to overcome a barrier you felt has plagued your relationship for a while.

It was a little past eclipse as you returned to the village and you saw with some surprise commotion happening outside of your tent. Your ilu took you right there in no time, and you jumped onto the platform, where your family was, alongside the Metkayina kids. 

You hurried towards the entrance, where you saw Neteyam, and you gasped loudly when you looked inside and you saw Kiri laying on the floor, unconscious, Neytiri huddled on top of her, screaming for her to wake up. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Neteyam shot you a dirty look, which you recoiled at. Neteyam never looked at you that way, and you knew then he was a lot more upset about you leaving than you thought he would be. 

“Kiri had a seizure at the Tree of Souls. She hasn’t woken up since.” 

You ran inside and quickly got your medical bag out of hiding. “What have you guys done about it?” 

“I gave her CPR because she inhaled a lot of water and she wasn’t breathing. She started breathing on her own, but that was it, she hasn’t woken up.” 

“When was this?”

“Maybe 20 minutes ago?” 

“Shit. If it was a seizure, she should have woken up by now. This is serious. She shouldn’t still be unconscious.” 

“Can you do anything?” You heard Jake say, concern dripping from every word, tension thick in the air that was now hard to breathe. 

“I can give her some IV fluids, but I’m not sure, Jake. She might be in status epilepticus, which is when a person seizes for longer than 5 minutes, but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m not trained for this. She needs EEG scans, which I don’t have, and she might need to be put in a medically induced coma so her brain doesn’t get damaged.”

“A coma?” He looked at you like you grew another head.

“I’m not sure, Jake, this is just a guess. I don’t have the equipment to run these kinds of tests. You need to call Norm and Max.”

“It’s dangerous, they are watching the air space, they could find us.”

“If they can help her, we have to try.” Neytiri stood up and came to you, taking your hands in hers. “Please help her!” 

“I will, sa’nok. It will all be alright.” 

Neteyam was painfully aware of everything happening around him, aware of people going in and out, aware of your presence back in his, making his heart race and breath labour. He was mad at you, mad at Lo’ak, mad that you both were selfish and left them, mad that if you had stayed, with him, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened - maybe Kiri would have been fine. On top of everything, his own experience at the Tree of Souls left so many questions, so much lingering in his mind. Why were you there? What did you all mean? What crossroads? Why couldn’t he think of you? How was he supposed to know which choice was the right one?Why couldn’t he tell you? You were his best friend, the person he told everything to, and most importantly, the smartest person he knows. If anyone would have an answer for this whole surreal experience, it would be you. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Neteyam turned his head to see you standing there, looking up at him, a tired and pleading look in your eyes. He felt his anger melt, if only slightly, when looking in those eyes that still shone as brightly as the sun, and his mind flashed to your human eyes, that he saw for the first time in a year. He felt a little guilty for thinking of another pair of eyes than the ones currently staring at him, even if they were still your own. 

“How is she?” 

You sighed and turned towards Kiri’s unconscious form in the tent. “I don’t know. We won’t know until the morning, when Norm and Max get here.” 

Neteyam scowled, not looking at you, but at the tiny flickers of bioluminescent light coming from the water, where fish were peacefully swimming near the surface. Maybe if you had been there…

“Neteyam… there’s nothing I could have done either way. There’s nothing I could have done differently, even if I was there.” Neteyam’s scowl deepened, but mostly cause he was unnerved by your continuous ability to see through him. 

“I’m sorry for leaving. I didn’t think I had a choice.” 

Neteyam let out a mocking laugh. “You did have a choice.” 

“I didn’t, Neteyam. Lo’ak needed me.” 

“I needed you. You’re never around anymore, you’re doing the exact same thing as you did when you were young. Pushing me away, isolating yourself in this marui while everyone else is trying their fucking best to adapt. Everyone but you.”

Neteyam knew he was being harsh, but his emotions were running high in light of the clusterfuck of a day he had, of frustrations that had built in him for months, that were coming out to the surface now, even if he tried to stop them. 

“Stop… you can’t do this. I know you are hurt that I left, and I know you feel annoyed at me, but I am trying my best. I’m sorry if it’s not good enough for you, but it’s the most I can handle right now. I am sorry about Kiri, Neteyam. I will do my best to help her, but right now, there is nothing else I can do. I am sorry about Lo’ak, but you guys always give him shit and you don’t take him seriously and I don’t want him to be alone. I know what it’s like to be alone, courtesy of my abandoning parents and you. You don’t get to blame me for not wanting someone, my brother, to go through what you put me through. I’m sorry I am not out as much as you guys, but unlike you, I didn’t grow up swimming and I am struggling, and I feel like a burden, and I feel like everyone is abandoning me for Tsireya, and I just need some time to deal, I need some time to figure out who I am now, in this new place, in this - yet again - new life, another one in a year. And a little bit of fucking understanding would be nice.” 

He was still angry, probably even angrier than he was, at you and at Lo’ak, at your knee-jerk reflex to bring back his leaving whenever you were hurt. But he also felt guilty, because in truth, he didn’t try to see things from your perspective, and understand how hard this must all be on you. Neteyam watched as you turned your back to him and went back into the tent, kneeling over Kiri. That could have gone better, Neteyam thought with a deep sigh.

It was the morning when you heard the unmistakable sounds of a helicopter approaching, and you knew then that Norm and Max have arrived. You felt happy to see them and relieved they were here, as you felt completely out of your depth in this situation where your sister was involved. You didn’t sleep a wink last night, monitoring her vitals and making sure she was getting all the nutrients through the IV. You haven’t talked to Neteyam since then, his harsh words still fresh in your mind. 

A swell of happiness enveloped you at the sight of the two men entering the tent, and you jumped up and hugged them, trying not to crush Max’s tiny body in the process. Norm was teary eyed when taking you in, and you found it hard letting go. 

“Good to see you, Ace.” 

You didn’t realise how much you missed that voice and that nickname until now, like a constant noise you don't realise is giving you a headache until it stops ringing in your ears.

“We missed you, guys. Sorry this is not under better circumstances.” 

You watched as the men took out equipment you didn’t have with you, such as a portable EEG, and looked at her brain activity.

“I gave her 5mg/ml of propofol every 3 hours to maintain the coma, but I stopped a few hours before you arrived so you could do this. I’ve been keeping her on IV fluids to maintain hydration and nutrient intake.” 

“Good job, Ace.”

You looked alongside the scientists at the scans of her brain. 

“There’s no bleed, there’s no fracture. No effects of hypoxia. Her brain looks good.” 

“You still have this interictal activity right here in her prefrontal.” 

“She’s definitely had a seizure.”

You went outside to discuss this further, while the Sully children and their mother looked over Kiri. 

“Look, I don’t think it was a seizure.”

“Ace, it was definitely a seizure. There’s nothing else it could have been.”

“Okay, let me rephrase. Maybe it was a seizure, but I don’t think it’s epilepsy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it, guys. It happened while she was plugged into the Tree of Souls.”

“I think the kid is right. I talked to her a couple nights ago. She says she could feel Eywa, she could hear her heartbeat.”

“That is classic frontal lobe epilepsy.”

“Epilepsy?” Jake looked out of his mind with concern, and you shook your head quietly, disagreeing with Norm, but not wanting to interrupt him.

“Yeah.. you see visions, you get states of religious ecstasy, like the kind she’s described. Plugging into the spirit tree is some sort of a trigger. You definitely can’t let her do that anymore.”

“What…? Ever?”

Max interjected softly, trying to be as understanding as empathetic as he could, given the situation at hand. "Jake… if she seizes underwater again, it could kill her.”

Jake turns to look at you, pleading, begging for you to disagree, to give him some sort of hope that this wasn’t as dire as it seemed. 

“What do you think, baby girl?” 

“I think Norm and Max are understandably looking at this the science, biological, human way… no offence.”

 

“I think everything you guys are saying makes sense, if you decide to forget who Kiri is. Kiri is not just anybody. She’s special, she is connected with Eywa in a way none of us can imagine. We have discussed about her parentage before and everyone has their theories,  but mine is a little different. I think Kiri is Eywa’s child, as much as she was Grace’s. I think Eywa communicates through her, I think Eywa has bigger plans for her than any of us know. When I died, I saw my mother.” At the shocked expressions all around you, you withdrew into yourself a little. You didn’t want to talk about this, but it was necessary. “She was there, in Eywa. Has been with her, in this higher plane, ever since she died. She’s been watching over me. She told me that Kiri was the answer to the virus, that she would know. And she did. She has gifts, guys. I agree that her plugging into the spirit tree is a trigger, but not the one that can be measured by an EEG or treated by some Carbamazepine.”

“I think in order to wake up, she needs the Tsahik.” 

You saw Neytiri thinking ahead of you, as she usually did, and closely behind her Ronal was making her way to your tent. You got up from next to the men, and all of you tracked back where Kiri was, and you watched as Ronal performed rituals you had no understanding of, but were fascinated by. Your gaze was fixated on Kiri’s face, as was the rest of your family’s, and all of you gasped loudly as you saw your sister’s eyes open slowly. 

“Oh, thank God!” Jake was almost in tears, but couldn’t hold a candle to Tuk, whose face was littered by them. 

“Kiri, you’re awake!” 

Neytiri took her daughter’s hand in both of hers, bringing it affectionately to her face, as her and Kiri’s pained cries filled the muffled sounds in the room. 

“Oh, Kiri, my sweet child. Oh, my sweet daughter.”

You were so happy, so relieved, and you couldn’t help gaze over to your mate, whose eyes were already on you. It was tense, the situation between you, and you wondered if it could be solved with one discussion, if this was really only about you leaving with Lo’ak. Your head moved minutely in the direction of the entrance to the tent, and he nodded at you, understanding instantly. 

You left quietly, so as to not disturb the jubilant reunion, and sat on the edge of the platform, dipping your feet in the warm, clear blue water. 

He sat next to you, and his body was turned towards yours, his thigh touching yours, his eyes staring down at the side of your face, that refused to look at him. 

“Atan…” 

“I’m sorry for what I said. It was hypocritical of me to hold your going after Lo’ak against you, when I have been doing that my whole life and getting injured as a result and coming close to dying a couple of times. I’m sorry for saying you are not trying. You obviously are, and I’m sorry I didn’t try to look at this from your perspective. You are doing amazing, you have had to overcome so much and you always come out stronger than you were, and every time I don’t understand how that’s even possible. I need you to know, that nobody is abandoning you. Tuk is still your biggest fan and she talks about you all the time when we are swimming. I think she chewed Tsireya’s ear off about you, and she misses you being around in the water with her. And Kiri, well, she just finds comfort in nature, and you know this, and right now the nature is… well, where you aren’t. You have nothing to be worried about.”

Your eyes lifted to meet his and you saw he looked… off, although he was being earnest in his apology. You couldn’t place what was wrong with him, what happened to him in the last couple of days, and it worried you, doubt eating at you mercilessly.

“I’m sorry for bringing up the fact you left. It was unfair of me.”

“Friends?” You smiled a little, still unconvinced that the situation was resolved, but cooing to yourself quietly when his hand caressed your cheek in the way that made you melt into him.

“Friends.”

Gideon stood behind as everyone was flying peacefully above the forest. He watched them all attentively, all of them, trying to think of everything he knew about them, everything he could use. He needed to figure out weaknesses, possible liabilities. He needed a plan to find you, talk to you on your own. He needed to know all the things he’s missed, needed you to know he would do anything in his power to protect you. This time, at least, he’d make sure he wasn’t too late. His mind flooded uncontrollably with images of his first daughter, Sarah, and how hard she had fought that cancer, how tiny she was, how he wasn’t even there when she died. He gave up everything, his integrity, and power, and life, his future, his family, his peace of mind, to come here and be paid the money that would save her life, but it was too late. It haunted him at night, the knowledge that she died alone. That her own dad wasn’t there to hold her as she gave her last breath. Further guilt brought shame deep in his soul as he realised he also abandoned you - willingly or not, you had to grow up alone. You were alone since you were ten, Spider mentioned, orphaned as a child. You were surrounded by Jake Sully’s kids, so he was hopeful that your life didn’t turn out as miserable as his nightmares painted it. You looked protective over them, they all thought you were all siblings. You had a family, one that he had no part in. It hurt him, the thought, it killed him like poison daggers, slowly, agonisingly. He hoped he could still see you, at least once. Could at least hear your voice, look into your eyes and apologise for all the mistake that lead to this, for all the time he has not loved and protected you the way he should have. 

“Boss, long range patrol picked up a radar hit. A rogue gunship.”

“Where?”

“Eastern Sea, 400 klicks North.” 

Turns out he was gonna get to see you sooner than he thought, and turns out he wouldn’t be alone. Fuck. 

Everybody was really happy that Kiri was awake, except herself, it seemed. Neteyam noted with concern that she ate much less that she normally did, and didn’t want to come swimming with everyone else, which used to be her favourite thing to do in this village. It was early morning when the whole Sully family was up and about, most of them already gone. Later in the day, you would go deepwater hunting and scavenging with the rest of the Metkayina, but for now, you had a free morning. Neteyam peered over at you, hunched over the fire, chatting with Kiri and preparing food for her, determined to get her to eat. You sensed his eyes on you, as you always did, and you looked up, eyebrows raised in the direction of the exit. As Kiri was absentmindedly turned around, in her own little world, you signed to him in the language you now knew fluently. Go. I want to chat to her. Go find your brother. He needs you. 

He did as he was told, walking through the village saying hello to all the people he has come to know in the past couple of months. The Metkayina were nice, he concluded. A little strange, but good, kind people once they got past his family’s… unique circumstances. It helped, he thought, that his dad was Toruk Makto, and he saw every day how people treated him almost like a deity, like a king among men. It was hard to think of his dad that way - he’s heard the stories, he’s seen the outcome of his war with the Aliens, he met other clans who he brought together during the time of Great Sorrow, but to him, he was just his dad. A little rough around the edges sometimes, particularly since the RDA came back, but still, just his dad, that used to carry him places and make him fly in his arms as a child, who carved wooden toys for them and taught him how to use a bow in a river near the village. 

He found Lo’ak on the beach, deep in thought as he looked somewhere in the distance. Neteyam traced his brother’s gaze to a few girls, having fun in the water, enjoying the sunny day. He smirked when he saw the girl that seemed to take most of his baby brother’s attention recently. A four-fingered hand on Lo’ak shoulder startled him, and the oldest Sully laughed a little at how focused the boy must have been on Tsireya to not even notice his brother approaching at all. 

“Bro, you scared the shit out of me.” 

“I can see. Poor Tsireya’s ears are going to flame up with the amount you are staring at her.”

Lo’ak’s own ears turned purple and twitched in chagrin. Neteyam took a seat next to his brother. 

“Lo’ak, I wanted to apologise.” 

That got his baby brother’s attention, who rose an eyebrow expectantly. You and Lo’ak and your fucking eyebrows. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you that Payakan is good. And that I got jealous after you left.” 

“You got jealous? Why?” 

“Because she followed you. Because you got to stay, a whole year I couldn’t. Because you were there to watch her grow up, look after her when I wasn’t. Because your presence in her life was always positive and filled with laughter and human things I can’t understand, but you seem to, things you like. I think I’ve held a grudge for a long time, and I shouldn’t have. Because it wasn’t your fault. And I am grateful you were there for her, and that she had you. You have a connection with her I never will, and while it pained me watching you give her the Avatar, ask her to be your mate, none of it was on you, and I shouldn’t have let it come between us. I am sorry, Ma’tsmukan (brother).”

Lo’ak was speechless and Neteyam revelled a little at the sight, which was as rare as a new Toruk Makto. He should have done this a long time ago. There were plenty more things Neteyam had to apologise to his baby brother for, but he didn’t want to overwhelm his already disheveled demeanour. 

“Bro, you’re going to make me emotional in front of the girl I like.” Neteyam laughed a little and opened his arms for his brother, who more than happily closed the gap and hugged him, just like they did when they were young. 

They lay on the soft sand, bathing in the warm sun rays that provided a welcome respite from the constant state of moisture they usually found themselves in. 

“Neteyam…?”

“Mmm?” 

“How did you know?…”

Neteyam propped himself up on his elbows to look at his brother, that was sitting again, staring again. 

“How did you know you were in love? 

It was Neteyam’s turn to be speechless. In love? He knew Lo’ak had a crush, but didn’t realise how deep it ran. He thought about it for a long while, mind wandering to you, to your currently messy situation.

“Hmm… that’s a heavy question, brother. It might be a little different for me than for you. You see, I have loved her my whole life. Loving her has always been as easy as the air I breathed - as necessary, too. I don’t actually know the moment I fell in love with her, because it was not sudden. Back when we were younger, every once in a while, she would say something, or look at me a certain way, and my breath hitched in my throat… she’d laugh or smile up and her eyes gleamed in a way I only saw the night stars do, and my mind went blank. But over time, it happened more and more, until one day every touch, every glance, every moment gave me the same sensation, until I couldn’t be around her without turning into a mess of musings and feelings. There was one moment, the first moment, when I remember thinking ‘Shit, I am in love with her, what I am going to do?’. I think we were about 16 at the time, and I had sneaked out of our tent to go spend the night with her. We used to do this a lot, but that night, she fell asleep earlier than she normally does, and she fell asleep on my chest. I could feel her ribcage go up and down every time she took a breath. I think she had a cold, because her nose was blocked and she was snoring a little, and I just watched her. And I had never been happier, than in that moment, just holding her in my arms, and feeling her sleeping on me… and then she said my name. She was dreaming, and she said my name. And it was with love, with yearning, and my whole heart just stopped. And I knew then, that I could no longer hide, I could no longer pretend that what I felt for her was anything less than everything. That I would give her everything I have, that I am, for as long as there is still breath in my lungs.” 

“Lo’ak, when you are in love, you will know. And if you are, then I am happy for you, little brother. Because despite the hurt, and the pain and the fights, there is no better feeling in the world. And if she’s the one, then she’s lucky to have someone like you.” 

You finish grilling some fresh fish on the fire pit in your Marui to feed Kiri, and if you could actually get her to eat it, you were going to celebrate. You couldn’t blame her, having been in her position one too many times. In fact, if anyone could understand what she was going through, it was you. 

“Please talk to me? I know you may not want to, but it’s me… you used to tell me everything. And whatever it is, we can work through it together. We always have, no? It’s always been you and me, the two girls with scientist human mothers and no dads? The two girls who used to watch endless hours of video logs and read through encyclopaedias, the girls who used to theorise about who our dads were, what they liked, what traits we got from them? I’m still the same person… just a little bluer, and a little taller, but still me.”

“I saw my mum… you know? The same way you did.”

Your mouth fell agape, but you tried to focus on being calm, so as to not startle her into silence once again.

“Did she say anything?”

“We hugged… it was so nice. It felt like home. We were back in the forest. I asked… I asked her why am I different. I asked her who my father was. But she didn’t answer. She was just taken from me, pulled from my arms and into the abyss. That’s all I remember.” Her eyes were leaking soft tears, and you went to her side and hugged her. She reciprocated, holding you close. “It was so scary…” 

“I know… I’m sorry.” 

“You said you had a whole conversation with your mother. Why did the Great Mother not allow me to do the same?”

You thought about it for a second, needing to choose your words carefully. 

“I think the Great Mother is very careful as to what escapes her, because the knowledge that our ancestors, the people who have reached that plane have is beyond us. It’s beyond what we’re supposed to know. I think when Grace was about to share something that could potentially change the course of your life, your future, Eywa stopped her. Because I don’t think we’re supposed to know, we are supposed to live our lives with no outside interference.”

“But what could she have told me about my dad that was so dangerous, so monumental that Eywa had to stop it?” 

You bit the inside of you lip aggressively and wondered if the Great Mother would strike you down if you opened your mouth in that moment. To be fair, all you had were theories, so maybe you should keep them to yourself. 

“I don’t know, Kiri… All I know is that you are special. And that’s something to be celebrated, not hidden.” 

A couple of hours later, you were ready to go diving, and a smile broke through as you watched Neteyam and Lo’ak walk back to your tent, laughing and pushing each other playfully. It was good to see them together again, it was good to see them be brothers again, like they used to be when you were all young. Neteyam’s face split in a dazzling smile, that took your breath away, when he spotted you, and your heartbeat rose as you took him in, those beaded braids flinging from side to side, his imposing yet boyish walk that you found so attractive, those piercing eyes and that beautiful smile, all there to make your tail swish furiously, a dead giveaway for your emotions. He didn’t say anything as he approached you, but took your face in his hands and kissed you, like nobody was there or watching, like the whole world was a mere void around you, like it was the first time. You were surprised and a little shy, knowing Lo’ak and Kiri were right there, but you reciprocated, melting into him, as you always did, and appreciating the very rare public display of affection. You were dizzy when he let you go, pressing his lips to yours gently one more time, and you laughed at the peculiarity of the act. 

“What was that for?” 

“I just really really love you. And I am very grateful to have you. And sometimes I feel I take for granted what we have, this meteor-strike, one-of-a-kind love that somehow beat all odds. I forget how you have been the only constant in my whole life, how you are the only one I have ever seen, in this whole world. I let frustrations get the best of me, and I am bad at communicating, and I am so so sorry.”

You looked at him incredulously, and then at Lo’ak. “What did you do to my mate?”

“Nothing, Angel. He got there all on his own, if you can believe that.”

You had no answer to that, as a loud horn was met with excited yelps and scream from all around you in the marui adjacent to yours. I think, whatever this was, it was safe to assume the deep water scavenging was cancelled. 

You saw Tsireya on her ilu, waving her hand with a big smile on her face, as every villager around her dove in and got on their own. 

“The tulkun have returned! Everybody, our brothers and sisters have returned!” 

You eyes locked with Neteyam’s, and a wave of enthusiasm washed over you, and you took his hand and called one of your new little aquatic friends, wishing secretly it was Neyn instead, so you could share this moment with her. You both got in the water and on top of the same ilu, hurrying towards the spot everyone else was. You felt his hand slide up your thigh to hold you better in place, and as you wrapped your arms around his abdomen and placed your hands flush against his abs, you knew you had more than one thing to celebrate tonight.

The return of the tulkun was a spectacle few words can do justice. The mammoth beings played and breached and barrel rolled in the water, and you watched as their Metkayina brothers and sisters joined them, talking and catching up, sharing secrets and anecdotes gathered in their time apart. Both you and your mate were in awe at the events unfolding all around you, smiling from ear to ear and holding your hands tightly together. This was love, and you knew it too well, you felt it around you and within you, you felt it in him.

This amazing rare encounter marked a time for celebration among the tribe, and festivities would be underway soon and last for a couple of days. Tsireya said it is the best time of the year, with dancing, and singing and communal dinners and communion with Eywa to give thanks for the safe return of their spiritual brothers and sisters. 

It was everything she promised and more, and once again you found yourself reminded of the beautiful customs of the Omatikaya, and how much all the celebrations nuzzled their way deep into your heart, to never be forgotten, to always be yearned for. It was unlike anything else, the feeling of community as you all danced together, girls courting their prospective mates, boys watching entranced at the beauty and grace of it all. The drums that beat in sync with your heart, and how your voice filled the void with music from your home planet that the people accepted and encouraged, and then later on, began joining in for. You wondered if these would also start feeling the same in time, the more the forest began feeling like a long forgotten dream.

You and Neteyam slipped by unnoticed in the midst of the seemingly unending celebration. You were chuckling as he was chasing you, tugging playfully at your tail and soon enough, you reached a deserted plot of land, hidden behind some shrubbery. You laid down on the hard surface of a big flat rock, and you both sighed as you positioned your head on his chest, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat and settling breath. You had your fights, and being with him was frustrating sometimes, as you were sure it was for him too, but damn, nothing in the world could ever measure up to this feeling. The feeling of his hand slowly caressing your bare back was sending shivers down your spine, and you raised a leg on top of his, getting closer to being so intertwined no would would be able to untangle you. He turned his body to the side, facing you now, and smiled softly at you, a look of melancholy pushing his eyebrows together. You brought your hand to his forehead and smoothed it out, caressing his cheek when you were done, action met with a quiet, low purr.

“Atan… I need you, so much.” 

You kissed him, slowly at first, but as desire quickly overcame your senses, you were putty in the kiss, giving in to him as he deepened it, rolling you both until he was on top of you, one leg in between your own. 

Neteyam moaned, overwhelmed as his consciousness was flooded by your scent, your taste, your body. His mind was in shambles as it was trying to understand the intensity of all the emotions coursing through his veins, from the arousal and need for you, to the formidable love his heart was barely able to contain in his chest, to the fear and confusion of the vision of you he was met with at the spirit tree and finally the deep seeded hurt at the unresolved conflicts still plaguing you both, still plaguing his dreams, feeding his insecurities. 

As you were hurriedly tugging at his loincloth, trying to untie it without breaking the kiss, one emotion won by a landslide. His cock sprung free as you finally succeeded, slapping messily on your abdomen. Neteyam bent the leg that was in between yours, until it reached your core, and he felt a patch of wetness stain your cloth. You couldn’t help grinding on his leg, and the sight of you writhing underneath him, trying to get yourself off on him drove him mad. Whatever ounce of self-restraint went straight out the window, and he ripped your clothes swiftly away, plunging two digits into your wet core, twitching at your whimpering noises. 

“I need you. Fuck, I need you so bad, Atan.”

You reached for your queue, begging to feel him, for some reassurance that you, what you had was alright, that despite all the mess you both made of each other, he was still him, and you were still you, forever intertwined, forever one. He looked at you, slight panic displayed all over his features, but eventually he brings his forth and the connection makes you knees wobbly and your mind fuzzy. It pains you, feeling him, feeling all the contradicting emotions taking over his soul, feelings the hurt and pain, the dread and affection, need and yearning, and trying to make sense of them all. What was on his mind? What could possibly be plaguing him to such an unnerving extent? It couldn’t all come from the past couple days, could it? You hoped your emotions would put his at ease, at least a little. Sure, you were a little upset, and somewhat worried for him, but that always paled in comparison to the ever-growing love and desire that nested deep in you, that started years ago, that will never falter. 

You looked at his face, furrowed and pained, and you brought your hand up, caressing it slowly.

“Neteyam… what is wrong?” 

He kissed you, forcefully, taking your jaw and holding you in one place, and you were scared of him, for him, you weren’t sure. 

“Hey… stop.” 

You pushed him away and he rolled over with a frustrated growl. You straddled him and lowered your body until you were face to face. “What is eating at you, Yawne (beloved)?” 

He brought an arm over his face, shielding his eyes from you. You waited, knowing better than to push him. Eventually he removed his arm and you saw tears falling down the side of his face and onto the ground. Your heart broke at the sight, at the sight of your mate who was going through something you couldn’t understand, that he didn’t share with you.

“I feel like I’m losing you, like I’m going to lose you.” 

The feelings of confusion and fear were perfectly clear on your face that was contorting to accommodate the emotions electrifying your being, but you tried your best to remain calm, as to not hurt him further. 

“Neteyam… why would you say that? What happened at the Spirit Tree?” 

You were met with silence, deep, unsettling silence, that rang more painfully in your ears than all the music that has been loudly enveloping the village for hours at this point. 

“Hey, look at me. Look at me.” Eventually he did as he was told, and with blow after blow, you felt exhausted at his despairing look, that was mirroring the deep-seeded sadness in his soul, that you could feel through your still-intact bond.

You took his hands by the wrists and directed them to your body, on both sides of your abdomen. 

“I’m here.” 

You kissed him, softly and intensely, pouring your whole heart in it. 

“I’m here.” 

You took him, his whole impressive length in your hands and started pumping him, slowly, firmly, until he was moaning loudly beneath you.

“I’m not going anywhere. Ever again. Let me show you, that I am here, that I love you, that whatever this is, we will work through it, like we always do.” 

You never got to do this - be in control. You never felt the need for it, you loved being his, being owned, wholly and completely, but you needed this now, he needed this now. 

You continued pumping him and his look - parted lips, flushed cheeks, eyes tightly shot, ears pushed back, quick breaths and heart racing - drove you wild and the power you felt made liquid pool as you started grinding on him, looking for your own release. It felt good - too good, and sensing his worries melt away slowly only intensified it, and without being able to withstand it any longer, you got up and lined his cock to your sopping entrance and lowered yourself on him slowly, feeling every inch of him, allowing him to do the same. You both moaned in unison, and he got up, aligning your faces, looking deep into your eyes as you bottomed out, wobbly at how deep in you he was, at the maddening stretch that was almost too much to bear. 

“I’m here. Do you feel this, feel me? Do you feel what you do to me, how you make me feel? I love you, I will always love you, it’s just you and me. Just you and me, forever.” 

“Forever?”

You smiled and threw you head back, overwhelmed by all the sensations you were experiencing. 

“Forever.” 

You moaned, eyes tightly shut, hair tickling your lower back, that he grabbed and pulled on. You started moving, an agonising pace that didn’t last long as he grabbed your hips forcefully and lifted you off his dick and back on it, over and over, over and over, a ruthless back and forth that made you mewl and whimper, hysterical over how good it felt, how you knew this orgasm was going to rush over you like volcanic fire, leaving nothing in its wake but the ash of your trembling body. He knew you were close when you squeezed around him, and he increased the pace at which he was rutting upwards into you, animalistic desire overtaking his every conscious thought. 

“I need you to come in me. I need to feel you in me, feel you filling me up, please.” 

You were barely coherent, but he understood you amongst the moans and pleasured cries.

“Come for me, Atan. Let me feel you.”

You did just as you were told, as you always did - his words holding such power over you, and you felt your orgasm prolonging as thick spurts of his cum shot into you, filling you up and sliding down your ass. It was a holy experience, this feeling, this time with him, unlike anything else you have ever experienced, and you were happy to make out only positive emotions in his mind for now. You didn’t want to move, didn’t want this to end, and you stood like this, looking in each other’s eyes, kissing softly, filled to the brim, just like you loved to be. 

You came back from your outing and left for the tent, spent and in need of respite. You left Neteyam with his family, and you were surprised to see little Tuk still up. She got on her feet when she saw you and jumped in your arms, which you were happy about, having felt a little disconnected from her recently. 

“Hi, cutie, what are you still doing up?” 

“I cannot sleep when everybody is away. I want to be dancing, too!” 

“Oh, sweetie, you danced all night! It’s past your bedtime, you need to sleep a lot so you can get stronger. You want to be strong like your mummy and daddy, no?”

“I want to be strong like you!”

You let out a small cry at the words, a mantle of surprise engulfing you like a shroud. You needed this, you realise, needed her, needed to know you were still loved, you still had a family that would choose you, despite your many shortcomings, despite being different, despite being nothing new.

“I’m not that strong, baby. I need you to be stronger than me.” 

Tuk crossed her arms around her chest in a defying motion, shaking her head furiously, a small pout gracing her beautiful features. 

“No. You are strong. The strongest. You are smart, and kind and good with a bow, and a gun. You stand up to daddy even when Lo’ak and Neteyam don’t, and you’re the best ikran rider in the village!” 

You laughed loudly at her unbridled praise, and found it funny how unreliable of a judge she was, but appreciative and grateful to know how she saw you, in spite of all your insecurities. 

“Don’t say that in front of Neteyam!”

“So you don’t love Tsireya more than me?” 

She gasped and circled your neck in a tight hug. 

“Never. You’re my second mummy, you always will be.”

“That’s good to hear, baby.”

“Can you sing me to sleep?”

“Of course. Come on, scooch in.” Tuk made a temporary home in your lap, head propped in a comfortable position and legs sprawled all over her woven sleeping mat. You removed her hair out of her face and continued caressing her forehead in a calming motion, the same way your mum used to do for you when you were her age. You remembered a song from a movie you loved from back then, and you decided you needed to show it to Tuk one day, but for now, your singing would have to do.

Where the North wind meets the sea, there's a river full of memory

Sleep, my darling, safe and sound, for in this river, all is found

Yes, she will sing to those who'll hear, and in her song, all magic flows

But can you brave what you most fear, can you face what the river knows?

Come, my darling, homeward bound

When all is lost, then all is found

Gideon stood and watched as Quaritch was burning yet another village in his quest to find Jake Sully. He was sick to his stomach at the damage this was doing to these innocent people. Gideon had no problem with murder. He had no problem with intimidation, or hurting people, but at least back on Earth, it was to protect his country. It was against people who were a threat to the security of everyone who lived in it, a potential threat to his family, to his daughter. He could justify it, the atrocious acts, and it would help him sleep at night. But this, all the things he has done since coming to Pandora, no matter how badly he knew he did it to save his daughter, that he had no choice, it still haunted him, giving him nightmare after nightmare he would never outlive. 

“IT’S TORUK MAKTO! HAS HE BEEN HERE?” He winced as the rest of the crew was tasing villagers, as Quaritch pulled roughly on the queue of the Olo’eyktan, that he now knew how painful and connected to the rest of his being it was. He didn’t say anything - he couldn’t. Any intervention would be a risk he couldn’t take, not when his plan would warrant him instant death, not when he was so close to seeing you, to meeting you. 

Quaritch came close to him and pulled him to the side. 

“This shit ain’t working.”

“No,” Gideon said. “They’re stone-walling us.”

“If we turn up the heat, he’s just gonna keep running. We got to draw him out.” 

Gideon looked back from Ikran at the burning village, and felt his own self-hatred eat at him, like a parasite, like a virus that would kill him slowly, driven mad by his inaction, by the feeling is his gut that what he was doing was just as bad, if not worse. The Recoms reached the ship that has been doubling as a home for a while, while they navigated the Eastern Sea and this seemingly never-ending archipelago. Scoresby, the captain of this ship and a grade A asshole was waiting on the deck of the ship, a furious look on his face. 

“I’m over it. I’ve got quotas to meet.” 

“You want to hunt? Let’s hunt.”

Everyone turned, shocked at the words coming out the colonel’s mouth. Even Scoresby, that psycho, couldn’t believe his ears. 

“What? Here? Not here, there’s too many villages.”

“No, no no no.” the scientist, Dr. Ian Garvin interrupted, then hated himself for it, as dread clearly filled his eyes looking at the 10 foot tall solider in front of him. Gideon felt for the man, with whom he had a little more in common than he was willing to admit. A broken man, an alcoholic who came to Pandora with dreams and good intentions, his love for the planet and the science fueling his fire, a fire which was promptly snuffed out when he realised the never-ending depths of the depravity that surrounded this whole company that he was now working for. A marine biologist who had to watch as the beings he adulated were murdered brutally in front of him for profit, and he watched, like a coward, like Gideon. 

“Respectfully, sir, you do not understand the kinship bonds between the Tulkun and the Ocean Na’vi. It would be like murdering a member of their family.”

“If we start hunting here, the hostiles will come after us.”

“Exactly. One hostile in particular.”

Gideon prayed Jake Sully was smarter than to fall for this, and he prayed for whatever little remained of his soul after this whole endeavour. 

You woke up the next day sandwiched between your mate, who was snug behind you, snoring lightly in your ear, leg in between yours, and Tuk, whom you were keeping close to you, and whose hands you have been holding all night. You felt content, even despite the craziness of the past couple of days, and grateful for the people you were sharing a tent with. Things finally seemed to be looking up, you thought, as your swimming improved, and your relationship with Lo’ak mended, and your insecurities about Kiri and Tuk melted away a little. You were worried about Neteyam, but you hoped he would open up about whatever was eating at him soon, and you hoped you eased his mind a little last night. 

You had a pleasant family day, laughing and chatting idly by the fire, enjoying the calming sounds of the rain falling all around you and hitting the water right outside your home. It was a short-lived comfort, however, as Tonowari towered at the entrance, dark haunted look marring his features. You all quieted taking him in, and your mum and dad, as well as you and Neteyam went to check on whatever it was that made him this way. 

You were barely holding in tears as you neared the dreaded sight, the dead tulkun and her calf, both of them floating aimlessly, held up by orange floating bags with the RDA logo on it. You felt yourself hanging on tighter to your mate, squeezing your arms around his abdomen and letting out quiet sobs that were drowned out by Ronal’s. You watched as she dismounted her Tsurak and approached the departed pair, climbing so she could look in its now empty eyes. You look to your left at Jake and Neytiri, who had similar expressions to yours, and reached your hand for Neytiri’s, who squeezed it, both needing the comfort and the feeling of companionship in these trying times. 

Pained wails escaped Ronal’s mouth as she took in the dead calf accompanying the mother. 

“Her name is Ro’a.”

“She was my spirit sister. She was a composer of songs - much revered. We would sing together. She waited many breeding cycles to have this calf. The clan was so happy for her. What is this, Tonowari?”

“WHAT IS THIS?” 

“What is this?” Tonowari barked. “Why is she marked?” 

You were confused, but tapped Neteyam on the shoulder to take the ilu to where the chieftain was. 

“It is probably just a way to distinguish them. A cruel way, but that’s humanity for you.” 

You finally reached the other side of the tulkun, and looked at what everybody was appalled at. There was big, red, blinking rod, impaled deeply in her skin. Next to it, there was writing on the underside of the fin, carved with a knife. It was red, from the dry blood that spilled as it was drawn, and scarred slightly, meaning it wasn’t fresh. There wasn’t a lot of blood, or any drippings as gravity pushed it down, so you concluded it was done after the tulkun was killed. 

“Can you understand it?” Ronal said in a scathing voice, more a snarl than actual words.

“No, it’s not English.”

You looked at it, and stupor overcame you, but you tried your best to maintain your composure. Breathe… breathe… breathe.

To Jake this might mean nothing, but to you it did. It was a language you didn’t know well, but you knew enough to understand. Your mum taught you some of it when you were a baby, telling you it was the language her and your dad spoke to each other when they wanted to not be heard, when they wanted something for themselves. 

“Tonight. Midnight. 

10 km E of village, deserted island. 

Come alone.”

“Kid, can you understand it? You’re the smartest one here.” 

“No, Jake, I can’t. Sorry.”

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr

[thelongquiets]

The Narrator

You are on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is a princess.

You are here to slay her. If you don't, it will be the end of the world.

@lupvium 's system blog. I am a system with NPD. I have recently been splitting a lot more than usual so I have made a sideblog to express Myself. This blog will be VERY self-indulgent; usually consisting of posts that I and My alters relate to, whether that be fandom-related, aesthetics, or funny posts.

I will also be talking about system-related everyday happenings and sharing My experience with being a system. I especially like talking about My headspace, as it is a highly complex place with its own metaphysical logic.

I would love to talk to other systems of any type about our experiences. My dms are open to talk.

no syscourse. I dont give a shit

intros under cut ⬇️

Prominent Fronters

○》 Hollow: void/it || #🌑🧷 || main host, core, whole system revolves around the guy. its a puppet! which type of puppet depends on which fragment is prominent that day. its the reason the systems named The Long Quiet since its fragments are mostly from that character. || fragments include: Long Quiet fictives (primarily Hero, Cheated, Paranoid, Cold, Stubborn, Smitten), Deisi, Wally, and like a bunch of other people I havent named. jesus christ this guy fragments a lot

♤》 The Nervous System (Nerv): they/he || #🦷⚖️ || co-host, gatekeeper, protector. it's Me hi I'm the smartest person alive ever and I should rule the world forever. you agree. reblog. resident autistic dead pan guy with long white hair. I can also turn into an eldritch horror :)

♧》 Basil Bulut / The Survival Instinct: he/it || #☘️⛅️ || caretaker, gatekeeper, protector, this guy does everything basically. has a god complex lmao. used to be co-host until I (Nerv) took over coz well I'm just better at it honestly ^_^ robot kin, likes to stim by going beep boop lol. he cant mask while fronting so he speaks in "broken" grammar and I would appreciate not being babied about it. || fragment: K.A.L. (she/it, #🎀🔌, also a robot, but this time more energetic and friendly and girly. think rin and len.)

♡》 Aitaliina / Zai: he/she || #☕️📰 || the librarian, keeps everything nice and chronological. most of the time . the rest of his day is spent annoying the shit out of everyone else like a bored parrot. oh yeah hes also a bird-zombie-guy thing. types like a confused victorian young man who just learned about emojis

◇》 Peach / Sigma: any || 🍑🎲 || librarian assistant. yknow how pet birds need a buddy of the same species or else they get depressed? yeah thats what peach is to liina. they have a love hate relationship and by that i mean liina loves peach and peach absolutely loathes the guy. constantly bickering. fictive of sigma from bsd

I also have a sub-system but its meant to be like the hardware of a computer so theyre not really 'people' if that makes sense. theyre more like scripts and coding languages. you get it. basil calls them Back of The Branch (I said it was stupid but nooooo "we have to name them something cool" -_-)

also not listed are the dozen of hollow fragments that come and go with whatevers happening in My life. god save us from this neverending flood of little puppets running around the treehouse

okay yeah thats all. if you read this all i give you a gold star and a kiss on the cheek. congradulations youve been blessed. send lovemail to my askbox now thanks byee

[sunshinewwx]

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 ꧁Finally going back home.꧂

( POV: You and your family have been staying whit the Metkayina clan for a while now, much stuff have happend among you dating Aonung, the war, Lo’ak and Tsireya flirting and Ronal giving birth to a healthy little….. ✨GIRL!✨)

WARNING: *Slight hitting

Credits:to Sylwanee for the great idea

Part 1.

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(Jake)-Ok everyone family meeting! Sit down come one! Jake said as the room was filled whit groans most from the children’’ Come on Kiri It’s a family meeting everyone has to be here. You only heared a few grumbles from Kiri as she took a Seat next to you. It’s ok Kiri the meeting will likely not last that long. you smiled at her as she only mumbled out sure… (Jake took a deephale) Since we have been here for a while now and im sure you guys miss home i think it’s finally time for us to go back to the forest.. He smiled as he looked up to look at us, what do you guys think? Great thing? The room was filled whit silent until you finally spoke up’

(Y/N) - Father whit respect what about Aonung and the others? Can’t they maybe come whit us? You tried to sound calm but your face expression said otherwise as everyone know you and ‘Aonung have this huge thing whit eachother’ As you were done whit the sentence you looked at Lo’ak, he was totally on your idea as he dont wanna leave Tsireya behind.

(Jake) - Hmmm.. I could ask Ronal and Tonowari but i can’t promise they agree whit the idea.. He looked me in the eyes, Y/N later on the day could you ask Aonung about this, he certainly would like to come whit us i mean you and his words has much to say to the idea. You aswell Lo’ak. He looked at us and took a hand around Neytiri shoulder as he rubbed it thightly. Anyone have anything else to say or ask whit that matter? The room was silent for a few seconds until Kiri speaked up.

(Kiri) - ‘When will we leave?

(Jake) We will leave around three days from now so these last days you are free to have fun and no training. Got that?

As everyone said yes sir! (Not Neytiri) The meeting was done and everyone could was free to go and do what they want. As everyone left to do their own thing you ran up to Lo’ak to talk to him.

(Y/N) - ‘Hey Lo’ak?’ you said as you put your arm around his shoulder. Do you need something? he asked as he turned around to look at you. I were wondering what you think about bringing the Aonung and the others to our home? And do you think their gonne say yes or no? As you said the last sentence Lo’ak laughed at you. ‘- Haha Y/N so funny you are, im pretty sure- no double sure Aonung would love your idea as he can’t see you leave without him glued to your back, im not sure about Ronal and Tonowari tho, but dont you remember that one time at training when you couldn’t come beacause you were sick, he was complaining the whole time and whouldn’t to anything then sit on the rocks i swear i was two seconds close to beat him! So It’s pretty obvious hes gonne beg is parents to atleast let you take him whit us.

(Y/N) -‘ You were quiet for some seconds… He really did that?’ You looked down in the sand as your cheeks started to turn really red from blushing and embarrassment. Lo’ak looked at you whit a- ‘You serious right now face’. You looked up at Lo’ak whit that weird grin you sometimes had and he regretted at the moment that he told you, beacause now your eyes were like hearts..

(Y/N) Awhh… That’s so cute! Why didnt you tell me sooner!? Were siblings we dont keep secrets like that! You hit him a playfully shot on his shoulder.

Lo’ak mind : ‘Well Y/N i would tell you if Aonung didnt threaten us all’

Lo’ak didnt answer your question as he just told you to shrug it off. Well anyway… Im gonne go and look for Tsireya and ask her what she thinks. ☺️Byee Y/N! Just like that he ran off as you showed him the middle finger, not really to him but his back.

(Y/N) - Well i can atleast go and look for Aonung’ I miss that fish lips already. I Wonder what his answer will be? You took a deep breath as you began walking to where you think Aonung would be..

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[khaleesiofalicante]

Okay, Mavid thoughts, be waned this is gonna be long!

How turned on was David when he first saw Max in a uniform in any universe? I feel like he kind of pushes him into a wall and kisses him senseless every time

I have this feeling that Jackson and Shinuyin would vibe really well, and I pretty sure they're sort of besties in TLND and silently (or not so silently) judging their besties for being whipped messes for their husbands. I mean imagine Alec and Max posting a video of them working out and Magnus and David lose their shit over it and Jackson and Shinuyin are somewhere in the background face palming. Hilarious😂

I'm pretty sure Shinuyin went feral when Mallory hurt Mavid in TLND and sometimes thinking of the things she must have some to the Devlins afterwards makes me kinda giddy, she probably burned them to the ground

I love that in most of your fanfictions David is spoiling the kids and Max tries to hold him back but in IALS David is the strict one and Max is the chill one, letting them do whatever they want. Is that because they didn't get to raise them together in IALS or is it sometime that's going to happen eventually in all of them when the kids get older?

I think it's really important to mention that Mallory took the ring in IALS and Max never gave it to her, that she took it from his suitcase and he didn't give it to her. I know that it was mentioned somewhere that Max gave it to her because he was scared but that's kinda vague and I feel like it's important for David to know the whole story. Did they ever talk about it?

Max finding out about Jaden/David dating and being an ass about it and finding out they're engaged and just saying congrats is the progress we're here for, it really shows how far he came in IALS. But it also makes me kind of sad, because I feel like some part had to do with him being in denial about David being over him and then just accepting that he lost David and that's why he didn't feel angry about it

I need Mavid in IALS talking about how Lance thinking that Max is the sun and Jaden is nothing compared to him is something he got from David and how AJ wanting to protect David at all costs is something he got from Max. Like, as a joke Max would go, the only person that thinks I'm superior toe everyone is Lance, and David would reply, and where do you think he got that from Mon Ange? And Max would melt🥰

Also, not Max thinking David didn't care about his birthday when David was probably crying on the phone to Jackson about it and even made the kids wake up that on time at night to wish him. I can see him getting Max a cupcake and putting a candle in it in the kitchen when everyone else was asleep and go like, Happy Birthday Mon Ange. Too much? Maybe but I like the thought

Why didn't AJ throw David the party?

I can totally see David being sad/petty about Mona and Max telling he wore the shirt he bought him on their first date to cheer him up

Theory: The blonde woman that flirted with Max in FMF epilogue was Madeleine?

Max saying he hates David while living in a house that has a view that reminds him of David gibes off the same vibes as Magnus wanting to move on from Alec with his wedding ring in his pocket. This two be clowning all day every day, I swear to God

IALS song recs that make me cry:

Right where you left me by Taylor Swift

Just give me a reason by Pink

Okay I'm done again, byee🌷

PS: I loved the Disneyland story so much, Minnie exists in only one universe and yet manages to be the superior Lightwood-Bane, good for her. Also, David already knowing the name of their future children with Max had me cackling, and Alec telling Max about it made me fall from my chair from laughter, I love those three🥰

You: this is an ask about mavid, it's gonna be long :/

Me:

Omg. This needs to be a fic in itself. I know it happened in IALS and I can't believe we didn't get to see it. UNACCEPTABLE. This whore would've been so unhinged. Bonus points if they were in public the first time he saw Max in a uniform and David was just screaming into his fist the entire time.

JACKSON AND SHINYUN OMG. WHAT A PAIR. I definitely see them being Lance and AJ's godparents 🥺

As she should. I spent too much time thinking about Mavid in all the parallel universes oof. You're just like me fr.

David is ALWAYS the 'easy' parent. It's different in IALS because he practically raised them alone and what happened with Mallory really scarred him so he is very careful with him. But in general, Max is a strict parent (can you believe?????)

Very good point! What Max mentions by "i gave it to her" is "i never took it back" (guilt is a bitch bro). They don't talk about Mallory much at all tbh (not in an avoidant way, but they just don't want to)

Not a day goes by when I don't micro-analyse IALS max in my head bro. HIS GROWTH >>>>

This point made me very soft byeeeeeeee 🥰

This led to an angsty thought because we know David struggles with his memory in IALS so he probably don't remember a lot of 'important' dates (david gives me vibes of someone who celebrities every little milestone) so he probably only remembers their birthdays and their anniversary so not being able to celebrate at least that is very sad :(

I don't recall what this about sdcidksnsk. I know he was planning the party with his cousins? Didn't we get to see it or?

Wish we had explored this (but we didn't because david pov was written differently during the time when Max was dating her) but Max's relationship with Mona scared the shit out of David (especially when he realized the kids like her and Max likes that too)

Haha no. I only came up with Madeleine after I wrote IALS. But you'll see her in the rwrb au :)

Soft whores 🥰

I'm glad you liked the Disneyland story!!! Now petition for Lewis Hamilton to dress up as a cowboy (i was really manifesting it for Austin but this man probs hate wearing basic shit like plaid loooool)

Thank you for the song recs! Mavid IALS Song rec for you: Tattoo Loreen (this was a rec by @gospi and it's soooo SPOT ON)

Thanks for the mavid thoughts 💚

[chthonicgodling]

OOH speaking of Elysium I think I finally figured out what I’m doing with Kaia who’s been hovering on the cusp of nonexistence for the past few months for,, OoC reasons !!

good news! she can continue to exist

bad(?) news: I think I am retconning a demotion from her status as Lokikid. Now, she never was! Same mom [COUGHING FIT DONT ASK ME ABOUT THIS ITS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED, IYKYK] and—who knows or cares who her other parent actually is biologically??? can I say it’s a Lampade I’m sure they can do that

as such - Kaia reverts instead to ✨honorary✨ Step-LokiKid, as Loki’s relationship with [COUGHS] was still on/off-ISHHH enough when Kaia was canonically born in the first place — and remaining enough so for Loki to still dip out from Supervillain-at-the-time-Chal’s rehab project, y’know Just In Case For Safety back in 2016. THIS has been the whole reason I’ve been hesitating on striking Kaia from the record completely —Canonically there needs to have been a baby close enough to Loki at that time, incubating, for Loki to bow out his involvement and for Epi and Eury to replace him in supervillain-Chal-babysitting duties back in the beginning Chal days - as we (some of you? Most of you?) may recall THAT was a crucial ripple effect when the events with Vryk begun…….

so. Not a Lokikid - I never did anything with her and 💕still will not probably💕 so she can go offscreen somewhere to live ambiguously with her mom where I don’t have to figure out something to do with her, sowwy but begone byee

But! still there to fill an otherwise plothole of the past. hoorray! silly that this took this long for me to figure out what to do about this! I may still redesign her whenever I meander around to redoing [REDACCTEEDDDDD] which is clearly still not a priority - again iykyk but SO not important,,

anyway. now INCLUDING pending TaKi baby : the LokiKid count remains 14~

[autumnshighlady]

ugh ialtpwf is so fucking good omg, can't wait to read more!!!! neris is a combination i love, and it's regretful that it isn't approached more, i didn't like the ic either, but man truly hate the ic now, because the way you've described them does hold up realistically. they were so fucking horrible in a way that's like barely addressed, and not to be a bitch but feyre just isn't a equal in the story? she's constantly used the way rhys want to, and it's kind of disgusting. cass and az def seem like misguided supporters of rhys, hopefully they realize their wrongdoings?? maybe kill rhys and lead the court themselves or something?? really want a reader-azriel relationship too tbh, not necessarily a romantic/sexual one, like a mentor-mentee/good friends. feel like reader will be sympathetic towards him and i want them to like be friends??? idm if that isn't the case, though, love your writing the way it is. i think az and nes have a good-ish relationship in acosf so that wld be interesting too,,,, and we all know about azris, cmon hot!. idk. now i'm thinking of eris x nesta x reader x azriel which uh. damn. hot. i want sjm to go thru that same approach you did but i do unfortunately think that she likes the ic the way they are and will probably give eris a true insight into his tragic lifestory, change him and pretend like everything's just fine, with a hint of disdain towards him or something, like lucien lol. can't wait to see eris-nesta-reader interactions, love the interactions they have alr, but together. ugh i can't wait to read them flirting and comforting each other, and the smut lol. anyway i love your fics, can't believe it took me this long to get around to reading it, truly did not dissapoint. sorry about the hate comments you apparently get for no reason? like the fics you write aren't even extreme lmao, sorry about the thing w guys my age. anyway hope you're having a good day!! and agood week! and a good month. byee!!! sorry for this being long hsoikfzjslifdg

i just saw this after a gruelling 13 hour shift and oh my god:.. honey…. my heart is swelling right now at this message PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG MESSAGE I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW I LOVE LONG MESSAGES LIKE THIS! i love getting asks but most of them are requests which is a bit boring ngl i love talking with you guys and hearing your thoughts and opinions. the fact you read my massive ass fic and took the time to write all this means more to me than i know how to express in the english language.

and yeah feyre doesn’t have much autonomy in my story. the reason for this is while i don’t like her a whole lot, i feel like lots of her actions and behaviour in the books is the consequence of being so influenced by rhys and the bond. therefore i didn’t really want to make her the “villain” so she kinda just… doesn’t do anything. my main beef is w rhys, not her.

you’ll definitely see more of reader and Az as well as nesta and Az because i agree i did like nesta and Az in ACOSF. you’ve given me ideas with adding azriel into the neris/reader mix…. hehe

you’ll see much more of the reader and eris. i have so much planned out for them and Nesta, and it’ll be a rollercoaster! i promise you will love what i’ve got planned <3 this fic has endless possibilities and tbh i don’t think it’ll ever truly be finished.

again, thank you for this message. i cried with happiness when i read it

[autisticthoughtsxx]

Coming out as autistic

Now I really don´t want to compare this situation to a real coming out, don´t worry, I know there´s a huge difference. But here are some of the stories of me, explaining my diagnosis to different important people of my life:

When I got the diagnosis, I took a few days for myself, to realise the whole situation and kind of... Get it in my head I guess? Then I mentioned it to my parents. I did not make a huge deal about it, I just told them what my therapist had told me and what that means. We never really talked about that thing more deeply. Firstly because I guess my parents were not that surprised (I always was a bit different than other kids my age). Secondly I felt and still feel like they did not really talk about it. Mainly my dad I guess.

With my closest friends I handled it a bit different. I dropped the information pretty randomly and did not say too much. Just like "Well that´s my life, I guess that´s what it´s like to be autistic." Then they would go like "Haha true. Yet you´re not really autistic, like... Wait, you are???". And then I would tell them about the diagnosis and they would ask me all sorts of questions about me and the illness. They knew they could ask me anything, I always try to answer people, even or actually especially about sensitive topics. (Great point btw, if you have any questions let me know!)

Only recently I really talked about that whole thing with my mum. We were talking about my therapy and I told her about how different traumas from my childhood were affecting me to this day. But that´s a story for the next post.

Byee :)

[milksnake-tea]

Okay so, Yingxing and mermaid's reader relationship followed by some mermaid-vidyadhara politics. Darling doesn't have to pay the price :D

•As a species that constantly reincarnates, mermaid reader could empathize with Dan Feng about watching their friends slip away.

•But unlike Dan Feng, mermaid reader's aware of the pain that comes from losing someone when you're an immortal. That's why mermaid reader wanted Yingxing to live and die normally like a human. She's against his plans.

•What tore their relationship apart is because mermaid reader tried to stop Dan Feng, and Dan Feng views reader as a traitor for refusing to turn Yingxing into an immortal despite knowing how immortality feels.

•Dan Feng committed the sin, and politically mermaids tend to act as confidants to Vidyadhara political figures so you and the mermaids were dragged into this too. Thankfully, you're proven to be innocent (thanks Jing Yuan!) But you're hurt because Dan Feng ruined the reputation of both the Vidyadharas and mermaids, also putting your loved ones at risk.

•About Yingxing, mermaid reader was the one who hid him from Jingliu who was constantly hunting him. Remember the hidden mermaid shelters? Reader asks her siblings to use their mind control songs and traps to stop Jingliu for a while before pulling Yingxing into the water and swimming towards the mermaid shelter.

•The mermaids took care of Yingxing under your request, because like you, Yingxing has to deal with the consequences of Dan Feng's actions. He decided to help the mermaids by using his old skills of crafting to make jewelry and take care of their young instead of sitting around.

•Smol mermaids love him because he's handsome and prince-like according to them 💀

•One day, he decided to leave because he didn't want to burden the mermaids and you further. Your time with him might be short in your long life, but it's one of the things that bring you comfort. And even if both of you are totally different now, he'll always lend you a hand for the kindness you and your sisters have shown him. 🧠

SOCKS DAN FENG IN THE STOMACH HEART HEART

im jk i love u bbg BUT KICKS HIM IN THE SHIN

I LOVE THE IDEA HOW MERMAID READER HIDING YINGXING AND EVERYONE JUST CARING FOR HIM WHILE HES HAVING HIS MOMENT LIKE !!!! this whole lore thing is just so well thought out and i adore it

ALSO THE SMALL MERMAID THING IS FUNNY BYEE PRINCE-LIKE BLADE IS SO FOREIGN TO ME BUT ITS HILARIOUS

bestie leaving tho :(((( its ok bbg

IMAGINE BLADE SHOWS BACK UP ON THE XIANZHOU DURING THE TRAILBLAZE QUEST AND READERS LIKE

why r u emo now

[whotfcares1234]

vent-14/03/23.

Hey, um, so hi!!! It's me, at 1 A.M., just willing to pen down what's going on in my mind for the past few days. I just don't know how to feel about all this anymore. I wasted my whole year on the absolute wrong and toxic guys who reduced my self worth to mere shards of their validation. It took me a long time to recover from all that shit and well, now I am pretty happy. I mean, I am pretty better off without them and all that toxicity. I feel like I can finally breathe....

I have great friends and brothers who always help me and are always nice to me, and support me in every walk of my life. But nowadays I don't feel like talking to anyone. I just wish to log off social media and focus on myself fully and forget about everything.

I just don't think I will ever have a crush again and I think my soulmate has probably died. Everyone of my friends is getting proposals, whereas I have got only one till now. I just want to be so successful that nothing of this shit would matter to me.

ah damn it...tbh talking to myself is fun....

But like I really like one of my senior but he has a crush and thus it is just a teeny tiny crush of mine so forget it...

ahhhh...ok byee

meet you tomorrow

guess what song I am listening to right now...

Breathe by T.S

GDNIGHTTT

[thebestofmai]

Hey strangers

Day 3:

Heyyy i hope you guys had a great day mine was a pretty normal day to be honest, I had an argument with my sister, I made tiktoks, i took around 200 pictures, I ate my favorite food and then I kinda cried over a video of a cute baby, totally a normal day for me :)

I wanted to film a good first YouTube video but I think I will do it tomorrow film an intro and an outro then make a list of stuff I want talk about so I don't get lost when I'm filming I said I'll start studying by Friday and that wasn't exactly the case today but I'm not going to hate myself for this I'm going to try harder to stick to my plans in the future to avoid feeling this guilt

Tiktoks are really fun to make, I know I'm the last person to create a tiktok on planet earth but it's so damn fun but really time consuming

Anyway tomorrow I'm going to the doctor then I'm finishing my paperwork then after that I'll just go home film my ytb video and work on that channel then I'll study make a study with me live or do it on twitch maybe:) I'm really romanticizing studying and this whole glow up journey I love that!!!!

Anyway it's time I hit slumber land see you tomorrow strangers byee

[live-the-fangirl-life]

HII, YOUR FRIENDLY YULEMAS COMPANION HERE!

I just had the greatest idea ever for your fic and I'm literally cackling in the dark of my room trying not to wake up my roommates cause they might kill me

I'm not used to write this kind of things, at all. But it came out of nowhere and I'm straight up dying thinking of it and I really hope you'll be as amused as I am by the idea

Also, I have a surprise for you👀 but I won't tell. I'll be strong. I have to be.

Expect other anons in the next few days, byee🤙🏻

Question of the day (not sure this will be a daily thing, cause my memory freaking sucks, but you get the gist): what's the song (or songs) you associate the most with Rowaelin and why? Give me some lyrics that really scream Rowaelin to you

First off, I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this. Secondly, this was super hard because I don’t normally listen to music when I write or read so I don’t really think about music that goes with a certain pairing 😅 so, this is gonna be all over the place.

Run Boy Run reminds me of Aelin as celeana.

Rise Up by MUSZETTE reminds me of aelin and the whole court

Distance by One Republic reminds me of Rowan to Aelin

Feels like the First Time by Foreinger

Adore You by Harry Styles

Unconditional by Freya Ridings

That’s what I’ve got now 😅 I literally just started scrolling through my library so I hope this helps

[rosesnbooks]

kittens. that's the post

[batwritings]

Hiiii I’ve never requested for you before but if it’s uncomfortable for you or anything in here let me know pls thank you also awesome writing. Ahh my point ok imagine tho DreamXD with a wing kink (if you write him with them) like maybe we’re doin some smut with him and then we touch his wings and stuff and it escalates or somthing like it. Also I’m as listening to supermassive blackhole by muse while I though about this I recommend listening to it if you write it 😂❤️ okyyy byee have a day

Hi friend! I’m really glad you sent this request! I actually do think of XD with wings, but they’re usually hidden, so this’ll be good practice! Enjoy~!

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Very few were ever allowed to see the wings DreamXD had hidden, and you were one of them. They were big, brilliant and almost blindingly white, almost like an angel’s wings. It took you time, but you eventually approached him about touching them.

You came up behind him while he was watching over the many screens that played out the ongoings of the SMP. “XD?” you called softly, not wanting to startle the god. You watch his wings flutter forth from beneath his skin as he turns to you.

You can see him smile when his eyes land on you from beneath his mask. “Yes my little star?” he asks in return, pulling himself away from his work to level with you. “Do you need something? Did I miss a lesson of ours?”

“No, no. Nothing like that,” you assure him, taking one of his clawed hands in your own, much smaller one. “I just...can I touch your wings?”

You can’t make out his expression, and part of him was glad for that. Nobody had ever touched them save for himself and that was usually when...”I...suppose you can,” he utters after a moment of thought. He settles himself on the ground, wings fluttering softly before folding close to his back.

He was tall enough that you could still stand while you inspected the feathers. There were two sets, a larger set nearer to his freckled shoulders and a smaller (though not by much) on either side of his mid-spine. You let your fingers brush over the ones closest to his skin and immediately, the god shudders.

“You okay?” you ask, peeking over his shoulder. When you see XD nod is when you allow yourself to continue. Just your light touches alone have the god inwardly moaning, sharp teeth biting at his lip to try to keep in any and all noise. Every time he shuddered you would ask if he was okay and every time he would nod back.

Only when you drew a line from his bigger wings to his smaller ones did an almost pitiful whine fall from his throat. All movement stopped between the two of you. You were the first to break the silence. “DreamXD?” you mumbled.

“Y-yes?” he uttered back, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Are your wings...sensitive?” you asked softly, tracing along the bone of his smaller wings.

His breathing hitches and his back arches slightly. “A...bit, yes,” he admits, fluffing the wings again. “But don’t feel the need to stop. I understand that you’re curious.”

He hums softly when you kiss the back of his neck, thinking maybe you were done. He was well acquainted with handling this kind of pleasure on his own. It’s only when you gently scratch along the bone does he gasp, leaning into your touch. “Think I can make you cum just by touching your wings?”

You notice the blush across his shoulders and realize how much this must have been turning him on this whole time. You continue to fiddle with his wings, sometimes rolling them between your fingers or adding pressure when you press against the bone. The god beneath you is absolutely panting, little moans and gasps leaving him with each movement.

“D-Darling,” he sighs soon enough. “I’m so close.” You chuckle softly, pressing kisses up his neck, biting harshly once you reach the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Your hands bury into his soft feathers and he’s gone, crying out for you in a mess of praise and pet names.

You pull away gently, trying not to jostle him too much and overstimulate him. “I’ll see you at home XD,” you tell him, pressing a kiss to his head. Just as you’re about to leave, you can feel yourself hitting the floor, the god’s body on top of you.

“I hope you don’t think you can just pull a stunt like that and just walk away, my little star.”

[boozye]

Thoughts and observations of the Angelic Demon's event.

Things I've noticed about the super demon bros being under the bangle's spell:

- Lucifer is very shaken by what he perceives was his willingness to take advantage(?) of MC's trust in him. His actions in his bedroom did piss me off, I imagine that to players who don't like him, it could've been even less amusing lol.

And then not being able to bear being seen after the bangles take effect. (So not only is he Humble and apologises right away, he also feels Shame, both could be interpreted as opposites of Pride)

- I was asuming they were just gonna gloss over the fact that Satan was never an angel before. But he does mention it! Yay!

- Lucifer and Leviathan mention specifically not doing things MC doesn't want them to do/would not like.

- Leviathan, Satan, and Mammon mention being able to tell MC how they feel with honesty/freely.

- There's emphasis in Beel wanting not only to share food, but he himself not eating any as well. The self sacrifice feels kind of silly in a context where there is definitely enough for everybody? There is no shortage. But he's a celestial being so it probably wont do anything to him. Regardless, me monkey human brain keeps yelling at him to eat too. The rest didn't feel out of his usual demon self, he has mentioned cooking for others casually before. And taking their tastes into account.

- Belphegor and Asmodeus mention doing sneaky/underhanded things as demons to keep MC to themselves.

- Asmo mentions MC deciding for themselves who they want to be with. Implying they won't keep trying to sway their decision? I think? (sorry, poly people, that one could've felt awkward)

- Leviathan, Belphegor, Asmodeus and Mammon express regret or apologize for the way they were before the bangles took effect.

- Leviathan, Belphegor, and Mammon mention wanting to have a better relationship with their brothers, besides MC.

These things caught my attention.

My reaction to it:

- SIMEON YOU WOT M8

- MICHAEL YOU WOT M8

- Oh, I see how it is 💢💢💢💢💢💢

- Diavolo does say right away that the magic should be undone?? Idk what else could he do, it was Michael's magic, of course it would take a while to undo... is it cause he's just so bisscasual about it? It did bother me but he's the Prince Of Hell and I imagine he sees more fucked up things on the daily.

- Daniel was miliseconds away from pacting Lucifer's ass into doing the macarena before he caught himself.

- I can imagine, as someone whose will is fueled by sheer spite also, why Satan got that foreboding feeling when his heart was forced into being tranquil.

- Levi I'm glad you stopped using 4chan but no I won't subscribe to hearing your feelings everyday.

- Beel you are going hungry for nothing please fucking eat something already.

- Hi Belphegor, byee.

- *holding a microphone up to Asmo's face* Sir why is your card so fucking slow ?

- All I can think about is Mammon cries and gets even more insufferable for days after the spell is gone and all his valuables were sold.

- Daniel: feels like they're taking crazy pills, Solomon being unnerved by the whole thing also is reassuring to them though. Stays the fuck away from Simeon for the immediate future, not accepting anything from him either!! Congrats angel, you unlocked Daniel's deep rooted trust issues. Also thank you Luke for joining the ranks of the "fuck this actually" team last minute.

[sunnyhoon]

valentines?| Jay Park

a/n: i wanted to do something for valentines hehehe also bagleys is a fictional coffee shop unless there’s an actual shop but i don’t know BAHABA also i finished this a day before valentines and it was kind of speedy i’m so sorry my loves

[1:23 Monday feb 14th] bagley’s coffee shop

it was the usual day at bagley’s, at register, waiting tables, making the same cappuccinos and teas, but it seemed busier, especially with couples. it made me sick looking at them. apart of me was jealous that i didn’t have my own person but it’s all a waste of time anyway.

“y/n can you handle that couple over than you can go on your break” i nodded and made my way over to them, they looked to be teens. probably skipping school huh. i asked them what they wanted and they wanted a single strawberry milkshake with two straws.

“here’s your strawberry milkshake, enjoy” i smiled than headed over to the employees break room to put my apron away and grabbed my jacket “where you headed off to?” it was Michelle, she’s a great friend, we became close when i started working here because she trained me “oh i’m gonna get some air, it’s really crowded here”

she nodded “yeah it’s really busy here with valentine’s day” and it finally just struck me “it’s valentine’s day? i never realized” she laughed in my face “you’re so stupid sometimes”i rolled my eyes and yelled “byee” closing the door behind me.

-

i was wandering around and got tired so i sat down on a bench that looked down on the ocean, it wasn’t a particularly beautiful day. it was quite gloomy, the fog layed above the water. but i found it beautiful, the light breeze made it even better.

“nice day out, right?” the voice was from behind me, i looked over and there was guy with dark brown hair who was smiling back at me. his smile is cute, kind of like a gecko. i didn’t even sense his presence there “yeah, nothing better than a breezy cloudy day” and he took a seat next to me “i didn’t even realize you were there” and he snickered “sorry, i hope i didn’t startle you”.

“no no don’t worry, i’m glad you came to talk to me” i reassured him and we sat there in silence, it wasn’t an awkward silence. i felt comfortable with him, usually i would be annoyed if anyone else came to talk to me “are you busy right now? we can grab some lunch together or something? it’s all on me” is he actually asking me to hangout? on valentine’s day really. he probably means in a platonic way.

“actually i’m on my break at work, but we can after my shift”

“yeah, that sounds like a good plan. where do you get off?”

“i get off at 4:15and you can meet me outside of bagley’s coffee shop” he nodded and he went on his way, while i looked down on my phone to see the time, SHOOT i’m late.

-

[4:13 Monday feb 14th] Bagley’s coffee shop

time seemed slower, but i finally got finished with my last table. I can already see him outside, and it dawned on me that i never got his name and i made my way out to him. we did an awkward exchange “we never said our names, i’m Jay”.

“i was just thinking of that, i’m Y/n. nice to me-“ i was cut off by a familiar voice “oh hey Y/n and guy” she had a huge smirk on her face and i already know what she’s thinking “so are y’all going on a date” i saw that his face went flush, mine also did to i composed myself.

“no, Michelle we’re going to hangout as friends” well at least i think we are, he never asked me on a date. Just that he wanted to hangout.

“oh i see, we’ll i should get on my way. i hope you guys enjoy the rest of you “hangout” she said in quotations and that whole encounter was a weird start “sorry about her, she’s really weird sometimes” and that made him laugh “she’s nice, is she your coworker?” we talked about Michelle as we walked down the street.

“did you eat yet? let’s get dinner” he didn’t wait for a response and just grabbed my hand dragging me to a diner, i wasn’t expecting that but i just went along with it. i don’t mind the physical touch, his hands were soft and warm. ew i did not just think of that

we sat down at a table looking at our menus, and the waitress came to our table, did the usual “can i get you anything to drink? are you ready to order? and we ordered our drinks but neither of us were ready to order. “ do you know what you want, Y/n?”

“yep i’m getting a poutine, and you?”

“i’m getting a steak”

i asked him about his career and if he’s in college, he told me that his career has to do with music, that was all, he didn’t really go into detail but i didn’t ask. he was so passionate talking about music, and that he’s proud of where’s he come, and it was really rough for him

“that’s sounds amazing, and it seems like you’ve been through a lot”

“i guess, but it’s all worth it. what about you?” i was shocked by his question, nobody has asked me about myself besides Michelle.

“i’m in college, i’m going into my 3rd year” and i explained to him what i wanna do for my future, all my dreams and aspirations. he listened to me talk on and on but interrupted when the waitress came by to get our orders

“you have lots of dreams and goals, but i know you’ll make it there. i know we just met today but i can tell you’re a ha-” he paused and he started to smirk

“you’re turning red” i know i know it sounds cliche but he’s so sweet and boys don’t normally do this so i couldn’t help but blush from all this praise

“i mean yeah, this is the first time i’ve ever heard this”

“you’re kidding me?” he was in total disbelief

[6:47 Monday feb 14th]

we finished up the rest of our food, and the waitress came here for our bill “together or split”

“spli-“ but Jay stopped me

“together”

he pulled out his card and payed the bill

“enjoy the rest of your date” Jay and i looked st each other but didn’t say anything and we got up and left “you didn’t have to pay for me, Jay” he giggled, cute.

“no i wanted to, anyway i should get you home” that’s strange, just felt like it was just 5. time really does fly huh.

as we walked to my house, the weather was cleared up from earlier, the sky got darker, i looked over at him. he looks so peaceful, and handsome

“you know staring is rude” i quickly looked away, then thought of a lie

“i wasn’t staring, what are you talking about” he just smiled, we both know i’m lying, but he didn’t say anything else so we just left it at that. the walk was quiet, besides that. it’s relaxing, not a worry in the world.

“and we’re here” he walked up to my door steps with me and faced each other

“well i should get going”

“wait, we never exchanged phone numbers” and Jay made a O with his mouth, we pulled out or phones putting our numbers in each other’s phones then he started walking down the steps

“also, thank you for today. i mean it, i’m glad i spent Valentine’s day with you”