#this was just a quick recap from memory

[burekforsatoru]

all the time in the world

caleb (love and deepspace)/reader | read it on ao3 break comes and goes, and you haven't spent a single night in caleb's bed… a shame. missing him, you head across the hallway to change that. wc: 3.9k tags: piv, smut, cuddling, soft sex

@velvetlilith777 come get your dinner my queen 𓇼 ⋆.˚ masterlist

spring break always feels like it ends as soon as it begins.

all of your things are already packed, the suitcase open only to fit your toothbrush and pyjamas in the morning when you say goodbye to grandma and caleb again before making your way to the dorms, ready to get busy with training and fighting practices. you lie in bed, regretting not spending more time with them, instead meeting up with some friends from another life, people you haven't kept in touch with for some reason, wasting your time on catching up when you could've been making new memories. and you missed them terribly, though gran manages to call you often to check up on you. caleb is busy, that's what you told yourself in between classes. he's got just as much, if not more, coursework and training on his plate, he can't hang around you like he did when you were little, can't follow in your every step just in case you need to be protected.

you missed him so fucking much, and, with a quiet creak of your bedroom door, you pad along the hallway to knock on his door. there's no answer save for a quiet snore from inside. you push open the door, facing complete darkness enhancing the gentle sounds of rain from the outside. caleb's room is always so dark, the shutters closed, the curtains pulled together. no moonlight illuminates him, but you know this path by heart. six steps and his shirt is there, crumpled on the floor. next to it, you don't even have to check, his jeans, so haphazardly dropped like he would perish if he spent another second in them instead of his bed. it's a familiar scene, comforting in the mess around you as the edge of the mattress meets your knees. you lean down to slowly, carefully, pat the space by the edge, mapping out what position he's sleeping in tonight before you can slide into his bed, as quietly as possible slotting yourself into the space beside him.

barely a few seconds later, just as a crack of thunder breaks the silence, his body moves, as if sensing your presence, and his arm slings over your side, his large palm presses against your stomach, pulling you closer until there's hardly any space left between his front and your back. comfortable… it's how you always managed to fall asleep after nightmares back in the day — tucked into his frame, held tightly, your mind unable to sense anything other than caleb.

and even now, when there hasn't been a nightmare that has kept you from slumbering, but a quick recap of all your activities this break week, all the outings you never said no to, all the nights spent outside and only seeing caleb in passing or as he returned home in the late hours when you were only leaving the house, you feel just as reassured. it was busy, kept your thoughts occupied and away from the impending practical training, away from the countless exercises you were yet to take, the many, many hours that would inevitably be spent in the linkon university gym with the other students.

closing your eyes again is easy, natural, letting the darkness envelop you as you melt into his embrace. despite how guilty you feel, being under the same roof as him, but barely seeing him, he has a way of making you feel safe and believe everything is going to be okay. groaning sleepily, he presses himself against you even more, slipping one knee between your legs, warming your body with his own.

"pipsqueak… your feet are cold." barely enunciated, his raspy words are like the most comfortable blanket descending onto your skin.

the corner of your lips tilts up slightly, despite knowing he must be tired, you're glad he's at least awake enough to notice you're back in his arms. his breath tickles the back of your head and you no longer focus on the wind and rain outside, only on the slight rustling of sheets under you and the low groan as he shifts his body.

"all warm now." you whisper, nestling yourself into the pillow under your cheek.

"something wrong?" he murmurs, barely opening his mouth to press those words, along with tiny kisses, to the back of your head.

you sigh so slowly. no, there's technically nothing wrong, just a pit in your stomach from thinking about how you've neglected him and how it's going to be a while until you can do this again, slot yourself into his embrace like a missing puzzle piece, get your stomach rubbed to soothe you, feel his breath on your body.

you shake your head, sighing slowly as he rubs circles on your belly, something he usually does when you're not feeling well, when you're suffering the curse of period cramps, or even when you're simply upset and need reassurance.

"just miss you, that's all," your voice is so quiet, nearly broken in the silence of the room.

"i'm right here, pips."

"did you have fun?" his voice is a little clearer, though still raspy, still quiet, still just a vibration on your body.

you scoot a little closer to him, erasing any possible molecule of space between you.

"not what i meant." you have a feeling he's doing this on purpose, making you say it instead of relying on him to just understand what you meant without having to explain. and he knows, he must have felt your absence deeply for the past week, as he always told you he did before. "i wish i didn't go out as much this week."

"yes, but—"

"then that's enough for me." he shifts, gliding his hand up your stomach and letting it rest between your breasts, feeling your heart beat a little faster. "you deserve to have fun without boring old caleb around."

you furrow your brows and huff a little, that's not like him. caleb is usually the one dragging you along in his plans because he wanted to spend time with you, caleb is the one who offers to drive you and your friends to places just to steal another few moments in your company, caleb is the one who never wasted a single moment with you… before you started training at the hunter academy. since then he's almost given you more space, more time, more freedom. almost like… he's waiting for you to choose him.

you did, most of the time.

but last time he didn't come home for the holidays, he stayed at the academy, crammed for exams, pushed so far ahead grandma joked he could graduate a year earlier.

last time you came home all giddy and excited only to get a call from him to say he wouldn't make it. last time… you spent the break moping in your room, needing to be dragged out of the house by some old friends and dragged along to the markets and parks and fairs and activities and quiet nights with them. they said then that you looked like you got dumped, and while it wasn't true… it sort of felt the same. worse, since when you had got dumped, you'd had caleb by your side and he'd chased all the tears away with his lips, he'd baked you sweet desserts and cooked delicious meals to keep you fed, he'd taken you to the arcade and other colourful places as often as he could have, spending every moment making sure you weren't sinking.

"how are you not mad? i ditched you, i— not on purpose, but i was so stupid and i wasted our time and—" your mouth is running with no filter, only stopping to bite down on the lip that starts quivering once caleb gently nuzzles into the back of your head, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck and shush you quietly.

"shhh, it's okay pipsqueak… we have time. we're gonna have plenty of time, all the time in the world." his hand rests firmly against your body, but his hips move slightly, rocking against you almost imperceptibly.

"you're—"

"not mad, no," he sighs, continuing his movements, rustling the sheets in the quiet dark of his bedroom. "i just missed you too."

you can tell. you can tell by the way he keeps rocking his hips into you, so slowly at first, but there's definitely a little hiccup in his movements here and there, he's getting harder and harder, getting to the point where it's going to be utterly impossible to hold back.

caleb's waking up a little more with every thrust of his hips, rubbing his cock against your ass while he gently presses kisses on the back of your head. reminiscent of how you'd cope with waking up from nightmares back in the day, only with a little less rutting into you, his tender touches and sweet words used to be the only thing that soothed you. until you became more comfortable with other kinds of affection and started placing your cold, shaky hands under his shirt, that is if he even wore one, and then lower, and lower until you reached the waistband of his boxers. you soon learned how to keep quiet with his hand over your mouth, careful not to make much noise, and he learned how to read your face for all the signs that he couldn't let you get out of your sweet lips he so desperately wanted to capture into a kiss and have you cry out into his mouth. soon, it was the roll of your eyes that let him know how to fuck you, how to bring you to orgasm after orgasm until you were so tired that you could fall into dreamless sleep even before he cleaned you up.

"i've really missed you." a lot. it's more breath than words, slipping from your parted lips, but he's so warm, so familiar, so comfortable.

the rubbing of his body against yours is all it takes for the first moan to leave you, emboldening him to reach down and slide his long fingers just barely under the waistband of your panties. the teasing bastard, he's rubbing circles everywhere but where you actually need him. even his breath is getting a little heavier, his head lifting just a little to start getting his eyes adjusted to the darkness in his bedroom, hoping to at least see a bit of your skin that his hand is gliding over.

"yeah, i can tell," he quips once his finger finally descends through your folds, by now so warm and wet, easing his gliding fingers to move smoothly. "could've come in here at any point, you know? i'd gladly take care of this." caleb's voice is rolling like dusk in your ear, words calm, tone just dark enough to keep you mellowed out on his bed. lips pressed against the shell of your ear so softly, he almost gasps when his middle fingers pauses against your warm cunt. teeth against your lip, you press down on it to stop yourself from moaning out again. it's been too long, too many nights wasted that you could've crawled into his bed and feel the depth of his affection while his necklace dangles in your face. and it's the last chance before drifting apart again for a few months, when the only refuge from the ever-growing frustrations is a phone call away, a permanent voice in your head, a light and breezy chuckle through the phone that talks you through how to glide your hand and touch yourself. you always wish he could touch you himself, it's so much better with his long fingers, so deft at pressing the right buttons in you.

and now… once again feeling his digit sink into your pussy, you curse yourself for staying busy, away from him, despite missing him like crazy. trying to give him space to… what? to not get tired of you? despite all the times he's told you it's not going to happen? you should turn off your damn brain, plug out the insecurity if only for a while, to let him soothe you in this way at least, but it's too late, he's catching onto you.

"pipsqueak…"

the name snaps you out of it for a brief moment, you take it as a sign to slightly lift your leg and let him adjust his hand, the heel of his palm now pressed against your clit while he so slowly drags his middle finger in and out of your pussy.

"i can practically hear the cogs in your brain turning… you're overthinking things again." he's always so annoyingly good at picking apart your every movement, expression, and word, always recognising when you're thinking stupid thoughts and stopping them before they spiral beyond control.

a soft sigh leaves you, partly because he's stroking your insides so gently, partly because he's damn right, you're being silly again, you can hear his voice in your head, rewinding from the countless times he's had to cup your face and lean down to be level with you, gently reassuring you and pressing a little tender kiss to the tip of your nose. he's doing it now, but in your head, holding you with his warm hands, smiling with that cheeky smile, ruffling your hair, all before pulling you into a bear hug that would crush you if he wasn't mindful enough. all in your head, but it works. it's paired with him right next to you, the mind-caleb making you listen to him, the body-caleb making you unable to focus on those ridiculous thoughts with the way his fingertip massages your sweetest spot.

"there we go," he quietly chuckles once that satisfied sigh purrs from your lips, "relax with me, pips, you're okay." it's toe-curlingly good when he adds another finger, the soft squelching sound of your sweet cunt sucking it in almost the only thing heard in the air in front of the curtain of the soft sounds of rain. he lifts his head a little more, resting his lips against your shoulder. the kisses burn through the oversized pyjama top that covers you, echoing in the darkness while his hips grind against your backside. he's getting harder by the second, each roll of his hips making him wish he could be buried inside you already, but he's slowly working you to relax your body and mind. he's patient, always making sure you're doing well when he's with you, one way or another.

"that's… yeah that's good." giving him feedback always feels unnecessary, the proof is all over his fingers, slick liquid coating the long digits while they pump in and out of you. his soft chuckle is in your ear, vibrating your body as he slowly takes his fingers out of you and brings them up to lick them off slowly, not stopping the rolls of his hips. rutting into your flesh, he makes incredibly quick work of sucking your arousal off his fingers and almost impatiently sliding his boxers off just enough to free himself.

a soft grunt into your ear. a nimble hand sliding those pesky panties aside. practised movements, showing how much he's learned since the very first time you let him touch you like this, guide his cock to your warm pussy.

slow, careful movement, his hips roll until they're flush with your ass again, and he's finally inside you once more. a feeling he'll never get used to, as he's said countless times before, your pussy loves me, she keeps hugging me back, pipsqueak. it always earns him a smack on the chest, but he loves the way your eyes roll every time. now, in the darkness, he can hardly see your eyes, but he knows they're fluttering with how he's sliding into you.

"just good, huh…" he murmurs, a moment before taking your earlobe in between his teeth and pulling gently. "got more work ahead of me i guess then."

he's nestled comfortably inside you, taking a few moments before he moves again, savouring the wetness that lets him do this so easily. caleb breathes out so slowly, right into your ear, and you know he's thinking it… how damn needy you must be that it hardly took any effort before he could do this. but he doesn't ask why you haven't come sooner, not when the little noises already start leaving your lips. you can almost feel the curl of his lips against your ear when you moan so softly, music in his ears, healing balm on his heart knowing that he's making his pipsqueak feel so good. he's warm inside of you, so much better than you could ever feel on your own, your fingers only ever reaching so far, even with his voice guiding you expertly through the phone because he knows how to play your body.

now his long, nimble fingers glide along your stomach once more, not stopping at your soft skin until they reach the flesh of your breast that fits so perfectly into his hand, it's like a sign from the sky itself that he's meant to hold you like this. a gentle squeeze, just enough to make your little moan stutter, and he's moving again. slowly, slowly pulling his hips away from your ass only to bring them back, slot himself inside you as much as he can with one languid motion. like the waves that lap at the shore, his movements persist, slow and constant, gentle and loving. like the clouds that kiss the mountaintops, he clings to you and holds on for his sanity. it's the easiest thing, closing your eyes shut in this moment, but still picturing his face so clearly behind your eyelids. his brown hair that sometimes tickles your nose if he leans down to kiss you, the purple eyes that see your very essence, that undress you without ever trying, that know you better than anyone else, including yourself. the mouth that riles you up and laughs and tells you all the sweet things that you deserve to hear. the mouth that's pressed against your ear now, slipping low grunts into it with every roll of his cock into your warm cunt.

it's like heaven that nobody can take away from you. the most comforting of places, the most comforting of people, touching you just right, giving you the gentlest pinch on your nipple. it's almost enough to forget yourself, almost enough to get a little too into it with a moan that should've been dampened by the pillow, but instead it crackles through the darkness, making caleb twitch behind you.

"hey… gotta keep it quiet now, pips," he breathes out into your cheek now, pressing a kiss there between his words, "can you keep it down for me?"

you wish you could promise, you really do, but it's been a while, and while you know how to keep it down one way or another, be it pressed into the pillow or biting your tongue, your lips simply won't cooperate. caleb sighs when you try, and fail, to keep your next noise at an acceptable volume, enough not to alert your grandma down the hall, so he reacts quickly. his hand leaves your soft breast and presses against your mouth. your face relaxes, no longer trying so damn hard to keep it in, since caleb always helps. now the loudest sound other than the rain and occasional thunder is his low grunt that follows every thrust into you, a little faster now that his forehead starts to sweat. he leans it against the back of your head again, resting his cheek on the soft pillow while his hand vibrates with the sounds of your whines.

so precious, he always says, feeling your toes curl against his shins, especially when he reaches your sweetest spot, the one that always has you tense up around him. it spurs him on a little more with each whimper that his fingers absorb, sending shivers along his entire arm until he feels them in his very heart. he speeds up once you wiggle those tensed up toes in an attempt to relieve some pressure building in your body, knowing you're getting close. caleb's hand presses against your mouth a little tighter, knowing you're going to get louder once he gets to the rhythm that usually gets you off. and, to nobody's surprise, you absolutely do.

his other hand slithers underneath your body to reach your clit and rub it in time with his now frantic thrusts. even in this state of impending bliss, tension so tight in your abdomen that you feel like you could burst any moment now, you know he'd rather let you cry out so the walls of his bedroom remember his name. you know, he's told you so many times in that signature teasing tone, that it's one of his favourite feelings, getting to hold you while you quiver like a leaf on water, so damn close to orgasm, so close to letting him experience the heaven that is your cunt squeezing him tightly as you slowly relax. just keeping that in mind, it's easy to imagine how tightly his brows must be furrowing behind you, forehead pressed against your hair, lips pressed tightly together as he whimpers out something that could only be your name, all muffled and desperate while his hips snap against you.

your eyes roll back as you whine the last attempt at his name behind the secure grip of his hand. shuddering, you tense up and feel your insides follow suit. caleb groans into the back of your head, never immune to the way you contract around him, never one to deny you as your warmth demands him to empty inside you. and he does. with stuttering movements, barely pulling away, barely holding on, he gives you his all.

warm, sticky, familiar. his movements slow down to the beginning pace, letting you ride out the high with a treat — his index finger now slipping between your lips to keep your tongue busy. you suck on it gently, tasting yourself and his skin, slowly coming back down, descending into the comfortable warm bed, once again increasingly aware of his firm body pressed against yours.

caleb is in no hurry to pull out. no, in fact, he's most comfortably when his cock is buried inside you. softening and feeling his release mixed with yours coating his entire shaft, it's almost enough to sway him back to sleep. he pops his finger out of your mouth and turns your head to the side to catch the corner of your lips in a brief kiss. short and sweet, like you, he often says. heavy breaths, raindrops, and sheets rustling echo in your ears.

it's all good again, at least for now. falling asleep in his arms, once again wrapped tightly around your frame, pulling you closer into his body while he stays inside you. that's how you fall asleep most easily, never once waking in cold sweat thinking you're in danger. and now your eyes are heavy again, not with worry, but with blissful exhaustion. your muscles relax and press against caleb, your safety in a storm, the light in this darkness. you have time to make up for the lost opportunities, he said it himself. he'll come back home to you again, and again, and again. he'll be with you whenever you need him, he'll give you all the time in the world.

♡ if you enjoyed this, consider leaving a like, reblog, or a comment. interaction helps keep your writers motivated! also if you don't agree with any aspect of this that's okay, this is just my opinion and it's hella self-indulgent!

[beansprean]

WHAT WE CLUE IN THE SHADOWS: A FINALE CONSPIRACY BOARD

So. WWDITS may have the actual balls to do this to us. and I for one am INCREDIBLY excited for the possibility. If you're a WWDITS fan and haven't seen Clue (1985), I highly recommend taking 95 minutes to do so before the finale. Just in case.

Clue is my favorite movie, I have probably seen it upwards of 100 times for real, and I can recite it from memory with 90% accuracy. I also have the pleasure of owning and playing the WWDITS-themed Clue game, which is centered around finding out who stole the witch's skin hat and where in the house they hid it. I don't know if that will play into the finale at all, but it's something to think about.

The thing about Clue (the film), if you aren't aware, is that there are three different endings. On the vhs/dvd, you see all three in a row between 'that's how it could have happened, but what about this?' title cards. In theaters, there were three versions of the movie (labeled A, B, and C) that were dispersed to different theaters, so depending on where and when you went to see it you would see one of 3 endings. (It's kinda unclear which letter corresponded to which originally, so my labels will be assuming a 1:1 comparison between the order of the home version of Clue and the airing order of the WWDITS episodes.) The Clue endings are not all made equal, and on the home version, the final ending is announced as 'what really happened.'

So allow me to take a moment to talk about how the different endings work in context to each other and the film, and how that could translate to three different endings for WWDITS.

CLUE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (for real, go watch it)

(last chance to watch Clue go)

Ending#1: "Communism is just a red herring"

In this ending, the first one that plays in the home version, Miss Scarlet is revealed to be the murderer. She is a snarky, sarcastic madam who runs a "hotel and telephone service to provide men with the company of a young lady for a short while" and has policemen on her payroll. This is what I would consider the expected ending, the one that makes sense for most viewers. It's not shocking, but it's funny and well acted and it makes the most sense. Miss Scarlet has the right personality for murder, was in the most convenient area of the house to commit them, and had Yvette (the maid, formerly one of Miss Scarlet's call girls) committing some of the murders at her direction, so she had enough alibis to not make her too obvious. Many people watching this movie for the first time will have her high on their suspect list.

This ending also dismisses the idea of 'dangerous communism' that had been a thread throughout the film (as it is set in 1953 during the second Red Scare) as a misdirection. Miss Scarlet isn't stealing government secrets to betray the US; she's doing it to make money. The real danger all along was capitalism, something that s6 of WWDITS has said repeatedly.

So, to recap, this is the Standard Ending. The Second Best ending. Version B.

Ending #2: "Mrs. Peacock did it all."

This one, played second in the home version, is in my opinion the weakest ending. It reveals Mrs. Peacock, the neurotic, hysterical, and allegedly politically corrupt wife of a senator, as the murderer. She's hilarious and fantastic to watch throughout the whole film and I love her, but this charm drops after the reveal and she becomes cold and drab as she threatens her way to safety. She committed all the murders herself, which would be very difficult to achieve with the tight timing and her position in the basement during the search.

She ends up being caught outside the house by a police inspector, who had earlier shown up disguised as an evangelist telling her to "repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Interestingly, they originally filmed him immediately shooting her dead without provocation, but they thought that was too dark and edited it into an arrest instead (which is why there is such a quick cut after he pulls his gun, and we only hear her rather than see her after that). This is the 'repent for your sins' ending. You do bad things, bad things happen to you.

The obligatory "it's always who you least expect" ending. The Still-Good-But-Not-The-Best Ending. Version C.

Ending #3: "You're Mr. Boddy!"

This is "how it really happened" - the twist ending! The hero was the villain, the villain was just a pawn, and everyone committed a murder in the house to cover their own asses. Prof Plum killed the fake Mr. Boddy, Miss Scarlet killed the cop, Mrs. Peacock killed Mrs. Ho (the cook), Mrs. White killed Yvette, Colonel Mustard killed the motorist, and Wadsworth/Mr. Boddy killed the singing telegram girl.

Mr. Green, who reveals he works for the FBI, kills Wadsworth/Mr. Boddy and arrests the rest of the cast. Understandably the best and most exciting ending (though not without some plot holes) that everyone loves. We get a surprising reveal from two of our main characters that not only changes the context with how you view them, but informs aspects of their character that have been there throughout the film! Now we understand why Wadsworth retained control of the house and the timeline of events, why he was so familiar with the house, and why this entire thing was orchestrated in the first place. We also understand why the cowardly and clumsy Mr. Green was consistently the first to jump to help and defend the other characters, even when it meant putting himself if physical danger. Unfortunately this ending also suggests that he was only pretending to be gay (wouldn't that be a twist for Guillermo lol), but he could also just be in a lavender marriage which is what I choose to believe.

This ending also has the iconic 'flames on the side of my face' scene and repeats 'communism is a red herring', this time in the context of Mr. Boddy's intention to continue blackmailing them all now that they have taken care of anyone who could have pointed the finger at him.

This is the True Ending. The twist you didn't expect but are delighted to find. The 'nothing was as it seemed' endng. The ending that is the most intentional and complete, where everyone gets to shine. Version A.

So what will we be doing in those shadows?

We can assume that e11 will not revolve around finding a murderer, but it does, from what we've seen in the trailer, revolve around making a wife for the monster. Do we get three different wives? Three different actors to play her? Three different superhero identities for Nandor and Guillermo? Three different levels of nandermo: one with a handshake, one with a hug, one with a kiss? Three different explanations for the origin and/or purpose of the documentary? (this is my personal favorite) Or is each ending entirely divorced from the other? Only time will tell.

What I'm leaning toward is that each episode will come up to the same turning point - a decision, a reveal, etc. The first two versions will have reasonable possibilities, the first less surprising but more enjoyable than the second, and the third... The third will be what really happened, and pull a twist no one saw coming. Perhaps even a character will reveal a hidden identity. Maybe, just maybe...we get Simon the Devious.

I only hope the order of the episodes doesn't change between channels or time zones because that will make things very confusing when liveblogging it in the group chat lmao.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | January 6th-19th 2025

I hope everyone had a good start of the year! You're getting two weeks of fics because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy!

Complete

Buck Naked by disasterbuck/ @disasterbuck (Getting Together | <1K | Teen): Buck turned, slicking his wet hair back, and then yelped and covered himself comically with his hands when he saw Eddie standing there. "Eddie!" he exclaimed, his face turning red. "I'm naked!" "Obviously," Eddie replied. - Eddie finds it difficult to talk about his feelings because it always leaves him far too vulnerable and exposed. So, when he finally decides it's time to tell Buck how he feels, he has a plan to get them both on equal footing.

Wish you'd ask me (If I wanna be your baby) by paleredheadinascifi (Getting Together | 2K | Teen): “So, uh, you come here often?” “Do I come here often?” Buck repeats slowly. He does come here often. As does Eddie. They both come here all the time, at the same time, together. Or, why ask someone out on a date when you can just take them on one without their knowledge? Sounds flawless to Eddie.

the long way back by jaekyu (PWP, Post-S8 AU | 6K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck get trapped in a closet. There's a joke in here somewhere.

I want you so (god must be the greatest comedian I know) by paleredheadinascifi (Post-S8A, Eddie Moves to Texas | 6K | Teen): But that’s Eddie. You knew all that. You knew we’d find him sitting alone, in his rented, unfurnished house in El Paso, Texas — equally 7 and 700 miles away from the only places he’d ever call home, the only people he’d ever call family. You probably also knew, because you’re more observant than Eddie, and I mentioned it at the start, that Eddie Diaz was in the middle of a sexuality crisis that he swears came out of nowhere. We’re gonna let him have it, because he’s going through a lot right now. Eddie is learning, as many do, that there are five stages of the sexuality crisis. When we find him sitting alone in his sad unfurnished house, he’s freshly greeting stage one.

I'll be His and He'll be Mine by xylodemon/ @xylodemon (Post-S8 Future Fic, Friends to Fiancés | 6K | Explicit) "And now, in as much as you, Evan Buckley and Edmundo Diaz, have given and pledged your love and faithfulness, each to the other, and have declared the same by joining hands, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of California as Deputy Marriage Commissioner, I now pronounce you spouses for life." "You're crying." "You're crying." Christopher sighs under his breath. "You're both crying."

Do I Get To Have This? by EiraLloyd (Post-Poker Game Date, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Their missing clothes and the fact that Eddie was currently using him as a human pillow were the only evidence that Buck's memories of the night before were real. Wildly, his first thought after replaying everything in his head was, This is not good one-night stand etiquette. I should’ve left already. “You’re thinking too loud,” Eddie mumbled, breath ghosting over Buck’s collarbone in a way that reminded him a lot of dim lights and couches and I’ve wanted to do this all night. (Alternatively, Buck and Eddie hook up after the poker game in 6x13, and Buck has a hard time believing it when he wakes up the next morning.)

Hopelessly Devoted To You by scarmaddiewrites (Friends to Fiancés | 7K | Teen): “Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. He felt his heart lurch in his chest, and he didn’t know why. He had no idea what he was planning to say—Good morning, maybe, or How was your night? Something normal, something casual. But when Buck looked up at him, that grin growing impossibly wider, his blue eyes sparkling like the ocean, Eddie blurted out something entirely unexpected.” Or Eddie goes from 0-100 real quick

can't hide from you by EiraLloyd (Post-S6E12: Recovery, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Eddie keeps smiling at his phone like a lovesick fool whenever a certain person messages him. Hen, Chimney, Pepa, and Christopher all want to know when Eddie started dating again and who his new girlfriend is. (Or, three times someone wrongly assumes Eddie is texting a girlfriend when it’s just Buck, and one time someone rightly assumes Eddie is texting a boyfriend (and it’s Buck).)

the phone keeps ringing by EiraLloyd (Post-S7 AU, BuckTommy Break-Up, Buddie Getting Together | 7K | Teen): “Took you long enough,” she says in an icy tone. Her name tag reads Dot. “Do you usually make your boyfriend wait for you overnight?” “I’m not his boyfriend,” he says, voice equally icy. “I’m the guy who drove five hours to pick him up when the boyfriend—”��ditched him. He manages to swallow back the words, not wanting to air Buck’s business to a stranger, but he can’t help but think, If I were Buck’s boyfriend, this wouldn’t have happened at all. (Or, after a date with Tommy goes wrong, Buck ends up stranded in Las Vegas without a way home. Eddie makes the drive in the middle of the night because there's never really been another option.)

I Know They’ll Be Coming To Find Me Soon by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8A Spec, Kidnapping | 10K | Teen): The day Buck is supposed to drop Eddie off at the airport, he’s doesn’t show, and Eddie takes that as a sign that their friendship was over. That just doesn’t end up being the case. Or The Buck gets kidnapped season 8b speculation fic

Love Me Most by EiraLloyd (Post-S7E5: You Don't Know Me | 11K | Teen): Or, Eddie’s not impressed that Buck and Tommy’s first date was supposed to be dinner and a movie. He thinks he can come up with something more creative, and he takes Buck on a date to prove his point. It’s a fake date, obviously. It’s not like he’s in love with Buck or anything.

🔥 Next to your heartbeat, where I should be by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Sexting | 11K | Explicit): Eddie’s not a complete idiot. He knows this isn’t normal. He stands in front of a mirror in his underwear, the tightest pair he owns, and he poses for a picture at an angle he’s learned flatters his ass and the curve of his thigh, to send to his best friend. He knows this isn’t what most best friends do. He also knows most straight guys don’t spend extensive amounts of time staring at men’s thirst trap accounts, or thinking about how their best friends look half-naked, but… That’s not what Eddie is focusing on right now. He’s just focusing on feeling good, following the path that sparkles with joy, and refusing to overthink it. If happiness is Buck sending a meme of a guy with a nosebleed back to his shirtless selfie, then that’s what happiness is. Eddie has spent too long denying himself to let this be what stops his journey towards loving himself. It doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to be positive. It’s not like he’s breaking any commandments, as Father Brian would say.

🔥 Kept On Swimming by EiraLloyd (Time Loop, Tsunami | 12K | Mature): He just needs someone to know that he tried. He needs someone to acknowledge that—that he did everything he could, and—and he tried. He might’ve failed, but he tried. He tried, he tried, he tried, he tried— Eddie swallows and asks, “How many times?” Buck stares. He lived through it once; that’s normal. He lived through it twice; maybe a déjà-vu or a hallucination of some kind or even a premonition. But three times— It has to be a time loop. Surely. (Or, Buck is trapped in a time loop on the day the Santa Monica Pier is hit by a tsunami. He makes it count.)

🔥 the forms of things unknown by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Sex Pollen, PWP | 13K | Explicit): Buck's mind goes blank: suddenly and perfectly blank like a briskly shaken Etch A Sketch, the tracks of his thoughts swept clean. Eddie's mouth is on his. Eddie's nose bumps his nose, and his stubble rasps, and Eddie is kissing him. And this is probably a bad idea. The thought surfaces briefly. This is probably a bad idea. They don't do this. They haven't talked about this. Until thirty seconds ago, he was perfectly certain that Eddie was straight.

The Elephant in the Room Never Forgets by exvichan (Post-S8A AU, Camping Trip, Getting Together | 19K | Teen): Secrets are spilled and truths brought to light when the 118 and their partners go on a camping trip. Oh, and there’s malaphors. Lots of malaphors.

🔥 the sweetest apparition by hyruling/ @hyruling (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Eddie Moves to Texas | 20K | Explicit): Buck glances over his shoulder and smiles. “Sorry, lost in thought.” “I would be too looking at a man that handsome,” she says with a glance at his phone as they move up. “Your partner?” Buck feels his cheeks heat. What the hell – Eddie isn’t here to hear him, probably wouldn’t care anyway. It’s easier than explaining the truth to this stranger. “Yeah.” “And he sent you to do all the Christmas shopping alone?” she teases with a grin. “Oh, no he’s, uh – he’s gone.” --- Or: Eddie moves to Texas. Buck keeps accidentally telling people Eddie's dead. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

waiting for it (that green light) by pinkdoughnut (Drinking Games, Getting Together | 26K | General): “You don’t need to explain yourself,” Buck assured him, wishing more than ever that he could crawl out of his own skin. “I didn’t mean to push. I was just going along with the game—” “No, it just wasn’t meant to be like this,” Eddie groaned out finally. Buck sucked in a sharp breath, freezing in his step. “Like this?” Buck repeated carefully as he tilted his head slightly. “What… what does that mean?” - Or, Buck and Eddie finally realize they can’t keep pretending during a game of True American.

🔥 Finding Mr Christmas by JJK/@trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Canon Divergent, Reality TV, Christmas | 63K | Teen): "Welcome to Finding Mr Christmas! You’re all here chasing the same dream, to star in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and over the next few weeks we’re going to be putting you through your paces to see which of you has the most star quality and that ‘it’ factor that makes you shine above the rest." 🎄🎄🎄 An AU where Buck and Eddie meet as contestants on Hallmark's Finding Mr Christmas competition (and fall for each other).

WIP

🔥 there is no road by littleghost/ @ghostlandtoo (Post-S8A, Eddie moves to Texas | 4/6 | 58K | Explicit): Years ago, almost a full decade, Shannon had asked him to move and Eddie refused because he was trying to build a life for himself again. Eddie knows if he asks Buck, he’ll get that same refusal. Worse, Buck could say yes and Eddie would be uprooting Buck from the very life he built for himself. He doesn’t ask, and Buck doesn’t offer, and they pack up Eddie Diaz’s life in Los Angeles into cardboard boxes. Or: Eddie moves to Texas. Buck buys his house. There’s a love story somewhere in here.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 143/145 | 463K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 11/? | 69K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

🔥 Firelight by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Post-S7, Monster Eddie, HOH Buck | 8/10 | 47K | Explicit): When, in the worst of missing Christopher, Eddie suddenly finds himself having literally turned into a monster, Buck - who is also dealing with a newfound hearing loss diagnosis - is willing to do anything to protect him. Even from himself. OR: Eddie is a creature from Swedish folklore, feat. HOH!Buck

[Podfic] What's love got to do with it? by Pretzel26 // fic by ColorMeParanoid/ @color-me-paranoid (Platonic Boyfriends to Lovers | 2/30 | 10-20min | Mature): "Hear me out," Buck said. "Clearly, both of us are sick of dating other people. And we're a good fit, in pretty much every way that matters. So what if we're not in love? We don't need to be in love to be happy together." Eddie frowned. "So basically, we'd be boyfriends, without benefits?" "Yes!" Buck snapped his fingers. "Like platonic boyfriends! We'd get all the benefits of a relationship and none of the heartbreak." And maybe Eddie had finally lost his mind, or maybe it was from all the alcohol clouding his judgment, but the idea of it didn't sound half as crazy as it should have. *** After Buck’s and Eddie’s dates both end with disasters – proving once again that maybe dating just wasn’t meant for them – they decide to simply settle for each other. If there was one person in the world they'd ever trust with their hearts, it was each other. And who was a better person to date other than your very own best friend?

Podfic

[podfic] Starlight by half_bakedboy/ @half-bakedboy (Post-S7, Gewtting Together | 20-30min | General): On a rare, starry summer night, Buck and Eddie discuss what ifs and make decisions about their future.

🔥 [Podfic] rainbows have nothing to hide by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge for hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 20-30 min | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)

🔥 [Podfic] Before the Night Fades by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by MilenaDaniels/ @milenadaniels (Post-S4E14: Survivors, Outsider POV | 45-60 min | Teen): “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box. “Okay?” “Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who." --- Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

[Podfic] We're In This Together Now by fleurdebeton // fic by kristen999/ @thekristen999 (Major Character Injury | 20-30min | Not Rated): It was like walking into the world’s more confusing chemistry lab. There were long tables crowded with glassware, cookware, funnels, propane tanks, and tubing. Industrial sized glass bottles filled with various liquids were haphazardly scattered across the room. Eddie stared while Buck cautiously walked around one of the tables. They were inside a freaking meth lab. No, they were inside a ticking time bomb. Any of the bottles or barrels could contain any number of risks. Solvents, metals, bases, acids… “Looks like someone’s seen too many episodes of Breaking Bad,” Buck whispered.

[podfic] Starlight by half_bakedboy/ @half-bakedboy // fic by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (Post-S7,Getting Together | 20-30min | General): On a rare, starry summer night, Buck and Eddie discuss what ifs and make decisions about their future.

🔥 [Podfic] Breathe by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by kitkatpancakestack/ @kitkatpancakestack (Different First Meeting AU | 3-3.5h | Mature): After Eddie Diaz has a breakdown in the middle of a grocery store, he's forced to face the fact that he might not be dealing with his PTSD as well as he thought. At the urging of his aunt, he leaves to spend the summer in a small California beach town, where he meets a bright-eyed, blond-haired surf instructor who reminds him what it feels like to be alive.

Re-Read

🔥 [Podfic] rainbows have nothing to hide by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge for hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 20-30 min | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)

🔥 [Podfic] Before the Night Fades by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by MilenaDaniels/ @milenadaniels (Post-S4E14: Survivors, Outsider POV | 45-60 min | Teen): “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box. “Okay?” “Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who." --- Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

[prapaiwife]

Top form EP 10 *flowers and tears*

No Liveblog today just a quick recap and my little thoughts if you care to read lol.

This episode really hit close as someone who lost their Grandma when I was just born. I don't even remember most of my memories with her but I do have pictures to look back on to just imagine and reminisce. This episode was so beautifully done with the connection you felt between akin and his grandma.

The moment he finds out that his grandma has passed away and goes to see her as she's bedridden and he reads her the last letter that he was going to give to her. That letter was basically him pouring out his heart to her about everything that has happened in his life the struggles and pain he faced but the light he found in the midst of everything because of Jin. The phrase "close the book and go love" was something he remembered when his grandma used to read it to him and he keeps that quote close to his heart. Because he recalls all the moments with Jin and how he really took a chance on love. She gave him the best example of love to begin with and he knows now more than anything what it's like to love and be loved back the same way.

The dream sequence Akin had with her and his Grandma meeting Jin. Stop her, maybe absolutely just ball the moment he saw her, but moment we went into the dream sequence, I was a mess. Akin feeling so guilty that you didn't make enough time to see her and her constantly reassuring him that she always just wanted him to put his career first he wanted him to be able to be a star in his own right. And she was okay that it meant that he didn't have enough time for her even in her last moments because she knows how much he loves her and she knows how much she loves her grandson. And the way she accepted Jin with open arms and was very curious about their relationship.

Given she knows about how her grandson is lol and Jin just says it all was so cute and funny. And then we had the letter that she left for him but he wasn't ready to open until later in the episode that she did with jin. And it was so beautiful I can't stress the love between a grandma and their grandchild it is something so precious because their grandchild is an extension of their own child and so the love is so beautiful like I can't even put into words. The letter was so sad yet hopeful on how his grandma knew like she wasn't going to be able to stick around any longer but she wanted to put this letter out for him. She wanted to let him know that she was always proud of him and she's happy that he was able to find love of his own. And the letter ending with her saying the best thing that she can ever leave behind in this world is just her grandson. I mean my heart was pulled just crying this whole episode. I don't think I can ever watch this episode again.🤧 Akin was grieving, so heavily throughout the whole episode, and Jin was always there he never not once left his side he took every bit of pain and carried it as his own with akin and held him through every moment.

These shots in particular broke me🤧

then it went into akin wanting to honor his grandma by working on the film that she left behind called flowers and tears. And he was working on it making it happen for her Jade had his back he was going to help him. Only for it to literally be ripped out of his hands by sigma Jin's company cuz they brought the rights to it. And made it so that it was hard for anyone else to even bother trying to get it back. But akin right now in the state of his life after losing his grandma. And his career being at kinda a standstill from all the scandals and things he had to deal with. He's not ashamed or afraid to fight and beg to get it back. And he will have jin stand by him and Jade to help him and support him in this. It's just sad and disgusting that they felt like they could do that. It's so spiteful and so evil of them to do that and I hope they burn to the ground and the finale. Even the funeral process even when those reporters showed up. Just do disrespectful and they wanted to pry and get their questions answered. And he literally had to lay his grandma to rest not that long ago. Even Jin's manager or friend was trying to pull him away as well. Reminding him of all the job responsibilities that he has to do. Just so completely out of touch and insensitive don't know how he still friends with him but I don't think Jin even knows the extent of what his friend has done to him so.

But overall an amazing beautiful episode on grief and loss and can't wait for the finale I know it's fast track today but I may hold off and just watch it next week with everyone.

And the rings of course I had to mention the rings and the way Jen has it engraved with the word "mi tesoro" which means my treasure which is just 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[for-the-love-of-this]

So, is Pomni's name (which translates to "remember" from russian) supposed to be a nod to how she recalls past adventures in each episode... due to being the main character?

Those moments also serve as a way to give the audience a quick recap of the prior episodes, but I just found it curious that Gooseworx might have picked her name for that reason.

Episode 2 (after her first adventure, and just giving an overall reality check)

Episode 3 (vague recap/showing her memory of Gummigoo)

Episode 4 (recap part 2/She shares the side of the adventure that only she can remember)

Episode 5... Pomni seems elated about the suggestion box in the fourth episode, so I'm not sure if she would have any worries that she needs to assure with Caine, when her side of the Spudsy's adventure wasn't all that bad.

[domesticgoddess22]

wish upon a cowboy

chapter 5: giver/taker

pairing: raider!joel miller x fem!reader Summary: A rugged raider takes you under his wing after hunters leave you for dead. The two of you form a team and you quickly grow attached to him–mumbling, grumbling, protective Joel Miller. When you divulge your wishes to experience life before the outbreak, Joel decides to make them come true. All of them. warnings: age gap (early 20s/mid 40s), praise kink, breeding kink, daddy kink, unplanned pregnancy, unprotected piv, canon-typical violence, light choking, dom!Joel, angst word count: 3.3k(ch5) rating: 18+ explicit MDNI masterlist | Ao3 | My Booktower @orcasoul @guiltyaschargedmf @idrkman (Thank you, guys. I'm going to assume you want to be tagged for the next few chapters too. Please let me know if not, no judgement <3 )

au: quick recap. You just told Joel you were pregnant and before he can respond, there's a group of raiders that threaten both of your safety.

~~~~

Joel’s jaw locks and his nostrils flare, the only telltale signs that he’s having any emotional response to your news and doing everything in his power to keep it bottled up inside. Whether it’s anger he feels or excitement, you don’t know. So he says nothing, tugs your arm with near-bruising force, and stuffs you into the nursery closet.

“J-Joel! Don’t leave me in here I can–” 

“Shut up!” He demands in a hushed whisper, the closet door clicking shut and obstructing the angry snarl of his lips from your view. “Do not move from this closet,” is his last command before stepping back out into the loft.

Whatever it is he’s feeling, he’s channeling it into something physical. Something violent. You see it through the crack of the bifold doors with the way he swaggers over to the stairwell, twirling his handgun around his pointer finger like he’s about to play a game of darts with his buddies–like death isn’t waiting around the corner to claim yet another soul from this wasteland. Joel’s broad shoulders are tense, brow furrowed, back pressed against the stairwell as the men enter the house. 

“We know you’re in here, and we know you’ve got a pretty little whore with ya. Come out now and we won’t hurtchya, how’s that sound?”

The man’s voice is raspy, like he’s smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds and sipped car oil for the last eighteen years, and that’d be a feat because both items are scarce. The unwelcoming sound of his voice cuts across the house in a thunderous bellow, like the terrorizing sound of infected thrashing against the metal walls of your old QZ.

When Joel doesn’t respond, the man’s temper ignites. “Look, there’s four of us and only two of you. Do the math, bitch!”  

Your heartbeat is a deafening, pounding drum in your ears. You still see Joel, a horizontal sliver in the crack of the door, illuminated with the humble rays of twilight that make his lumberjack green flannel look more like steel blue. He’s silent like a predator, unmoving but alert, his eyes trained on the men downstairs as he takes shelter in the shadows.

Before you can process what’s happening, Joel is out of your field of view and gunshots bang in a rapid succession. Three shots–four? It could have been ten, but you lost count after the first two when your ears started ringing. Your eyes are wide in shock, your body trembling in fear of what’s next to come. Then you hear the rumbling roars of angry men followed by a thundering crash downstairs. Two men are shouting profanities, fists punching against flesh, wood splintering, and the sound of bodies crashing to the floor. 

Suddenly your painful memories of your parents’ execution flash through your mind. The empty, lonely feeling in the pit of your stomach when they left this world. Left you. And then you were on your own again. Alone so long you forgot what it felt like to have someone hold you. Couldn’t remember the warmth of someone’s touch and if you even missed it.

The only contact you’d had was that of violence, of the men back in Austin that tried to have their way with you, of thieves that left you with a bullet in your thigh in the middle of a clicker-infested city. 

And then you met Joel. Sure he was grumpy, didn’t say much, and sometimes seemed almost annoyed with you, but you eventually learned that it’s just how he is. That underneath that thick layer of hurt he wears, there’s a soft teddy bear that’s ready to protect you at all costs. Yet, all you can do is hide. Guilt weighs on you like a thousand bricks. You’d hoped to be more useful than this, but without a weapon, you’re just chicken that’s too scared to get your ass out of this closet and go help.

The final gunshot goes off and there’s a loud thump on the wooden floorboards, the showdown between the last two men standing has come to an end. Now there’s only one man left in the house with you. He’s either a killer or a killer. You hope to God that it’s Joel because if it isn’t, there’s going to be a big gaping hole in your heart when you have to walk this earth without him–assuming you make it out of this house alive.

So you hope that it’ll be him who appears at the top of the stairs in victory. That he’ll open the closet doors and give you that grumpy look of his, mutter that he ‘took care of it’ like he always does and you’ll rush into his arms, thanking God that he made it. But when the house is eerily still and there’s no sign of Joel, the heartwrenching reality of losing him sinks into the pit of your stomach like an anvil.

It only took two months. Two months for you to fall in love with him. Two months for him to fuck you so good that he got you pregnant. You cover your mouth to muffle your sobs, sticky tears streaming down your face, letting a good minute pass before you summon the courage to move.

With a shaky, feathered touch you push open the creaky doors and will yourself out of your hole, knees chafing against the muck green carpet as you scuffle out of the nursery and peek through the stair rail. You see three figures splayed out on the kitchen floor, but in the dim light of the late afternoon, you can’t confirm if any of them are Joel.

The wooden railing presses into each side of your cheek as you careen forward a little further, nose peeking out from between the bars, eyes cast downward with apprehension to find the startling image of a thick pool of blood that’s painted the checkered tile a jarring shade of crimson.

Skin as rough as sandpaper clasps around the back of your neck, fingers snaking into your hair and yanking you up off the floor. “Well, well, well, whatta we have here?” A yellow grin shines at you, blood oozing from a mean cut chiseled across his cheek. “Found myself a little mouse,” he coos, and there’s a horrid stench of cigarettes that sucker punches your gag reflex. 

“What the fuck did you do to Joel?” You hiss as your face scrunches up with a mixture of anger and despair before you melt into a sob. That the last gunshot was for Joel. You were officially alone and would probably die soon too, if you were lucky. 

“Awww, don’t cry now. You don’t need that old fart, now do ya?” His voice is dripping with false sincerity, disgustingly saccharine that it only made you cry more.  “Woah, woah woah, did he fuck you that good? Don’t worry little bambi, I’ll show ya a good time and you won’t cry no more.”

The despair doesn’t last long. Joel’s voice calls your name from in the kitchen, and then his angry footsteps eat the stairs. 

The man whips you in front of him, a knife digging its nasty edge into your cheek. “Come any close and I’ll fucking cut her up!” He screams, chest heaving in a sporadic rhythm. “Don’t think I won’t, bitch!”

Joel stops in his tracks at the top of the stairs, gun aimed at the target, and from your perspective, dangerously close in aim to your body as well. 

“You best do as I say if you want her to live.”

“What d’ya want?” Joel’s voice is raspier, deeper than the gentler version that you’re used to.

His elbow hooks tighter around your neck as he belts out, “Gun on the ground–NOW!!” 

Joel doesn’t move, doesn’t obey. “Let’s just talk about this first–” 

“I said now!” Spit flies across the room as the man reaches the precipice of unhinged–if he wasn’t already there. 

“Easy, easy,” Joel coos as though he’s talking to a horse. He bends at the knees, slowly easing himself down to place his gun on the ground, but you know it’s all a facade. Joel can’t bend his knees all the way without suffering the consequences of his age. There’s no way he’s going to gently ease down.

Joel, half-crouched as he prepares to drop his gun, flicks his eyes at you. The two of you exchange a telepathic agreement on what would transpire next before he redirects his gaze to the enemy. Your brows crease desperately as your mouth puckers together to silently mouth the word no. Because what can you even do?

That’s when the enemy’s elbow constricts even tighter around your neck. You notice the gleam of blood oozing out of a wound in his forearm. A bullet wound. With a deep breath and a strong dose of courage, you dig your thumb into his wound with all your might, a guttural roar tearing from your lungs as you do. 

You duck. A gunshot erupts.

One shot to his chest, then two, and the man finds himself knocked back against the stair rail. He flips back from the sudden impact and then there’s a loud thud of his body meeting the first floor of the house. Unable to tear your eyes away from the horror, you curl into yourself as the prospect of death releases its chokehold on you once more.

And it’s all thanks to Joel, who rushes to your side and wraps his arms around you, your back is flush against his chest, and you feel a sudden rush of warmth and safety. “Thought I told ya to stay hidden? Shoulda known you wouldn’t listen.”

“I thought something happened to you, I didn’t know what to do!”

“I told ya I always win,” he breathes out, voice smokey and confident in the shell of your ear. He rests his chin on your shoulder and rocks your body side to side, his hands gently gripping your waist for support. His chest is still heaving from the earlier altercation as his calloused palm slides up from under your sweatshirt and you feel his rough hand flush against your belly. “Think the baby is happy I won?” He smirks into your neck and you feel butterflies flutter in your stomach.

You twist your neck around to meet his gaze, big brown eyes look at you lovingly. “Yeah, I think the baby is happy their daddy won.” Your breath ghosts his lips and then you smile, looking up at him through thick lashes.

He spins you around so his hips are pressed into yours, and then he pulls you into a sweet kiss, which quickly transitions to something more heated and steamy as he goes from tasting your lips to lapping at your tongue. A masculine groan rumbles from his throat all the way into yours. That’s when you realize he’s hard. Really hard. 

“Joel, right now? Really?” Your tone is playful as you stifle your giggles, pushing away his kisses to no avail. He demands more, kissing and licking your neck instead. 

“You put a spell on my or some’n ‘cuz baby, your pussy is all I can think about,” he’s sucking on your neck now, thrusting into you with his jeans on. “Now you go ‘n tell me you're pregnant with my kid, how else am I supposed to celebrate?”

“We shouldn't do it here, though. It's still not safe.”

“If anybody comes in here…” Joel begins, pausing as his heady kisses decorate your neck, “I'll just kill ‘em.” Your panties feel soaked at the sound of his protective threat. His forearms meet the backside of your thighs, cushioning your ass as he lifts you off of the ground and into his veiny arms. His strong lower back muscles feel firm against your calves as you cling to him, his hard cock throbbing through his jeans against where you need him most. 

In the master bedroom, the moonlight spills on the sheets like water, illuminating the faded silk fabric with a bluish glow. The dresser is decorated with relics from another time, a vase with withered flowers, porcelain knick knacks of a wedding couple, and dusty necklaces–all of which barely have enough luster left to light the room, like the dimming light of a candle as it swallows the last inch of its wick. 

Joel rests you on the edge of the oakwood dresser, releasing you from his embrace just long enough to remove your pants, and then he presses his torso into you once more. His tongue dances with yours, chest heaving as he pours every kiss he has into your soul. One thick palm is pressed to your cheek and then he curls it around your neck for support, reeling you in even closer.

His other hand finds yours, tangling your fingers together like a stitch that could never be unsewn. His touch and his kiss felt like real love, even if it wasn’t said in words, you could feel your love for him, and you hoped that he felt it too.

All your life, you’ve never felt more safe than you do by Joel’s side. You belong here. Belong with him. It’s in this moment that you realize you were meant to be with Joel from now until the rest of your life. It was no mistake that you were carrying his child, it was exactly as it should be. There was never going to be anyone else besides Joel. You were safe by him, safe in his arms, his kiss, and safe with his cock buried inside you every night.

He pulls your panties to the side, a string of your wet connecting you to the fabric. “Oh sweetie…” Joel coos, rubbing the thick pads of his fingertips against your slippery folds. “Did’ya miss me that much?”

You bite your lower lip and look up at him, wide-eyed and slutty as you moan mhmmmm. He hums in approval, peeling your shirt off to reveal your perky, bare breasts. In one long drag, he licks your chest from just above your breast up to your collarbone.

“Baby, ‘m not gonna be gentle with you. Need you bad.” His voice is hot in your ear, locks of your hair tickling your cheek from the soft wind of his breath. “You gonna be a good girl for me?” He asks, rubbing delicious circles into your clit that make it impossible to refuse him. 

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?” He says through gritted teeth, yanking your panties off.

“Yes, Daddy.” 

“That’s my girl. Now spread those legs f’me and show me that pretty little pussy.” Obediently, you do as he says, a desperate need to please him igniting your core. The last time he had you, you were both drunk. This time would be different and you could feel it. He was sober, more aware of your body, more in control. He sinks to his knees, relishing in the view of your glistening cunt. “Fuck… You’re gorgeous. Been dreamin’ about this since the last time I had you.” 

His bristly beard brushes against your naked thighs and his lips hover over your slit. You can feel his breath, a warm, welcoming breeze in the cool fall air. “No…” You plea, pushing him away, but you have no effect on him as he digs his nose into your folds and tastes your entrance. “Joel, I’m embarrassed.” 

“Don’t be. You’re beautiful,” he praises and proceeds to suck on your bud. Your back arches in ecstasy. Whatever part of you refused him before was long gone and replaced with a slutty girl that was begging for more.

“Ahhn, just like that–Don’t stop.”

“You were tellin’ me no just a second ago, now you’re beggin’ for more?” His laugh rumbles into you, vibrating your pussy and making you feel even more stimulated. You moan at the pressure of his tongue swirling on your clit, shamelessly rolling your hips onto his face as he pulls his name from your lips.

“Want you inside me–Please, please…” The words tumble out of your mouth.

He smirks at you, masculine pride reflecting on his face, “Needy girl. I like that.” He stands up, the sound of his zipper opening is followed by the pressure of his cock against your cunt. With both of his hands firmly on your waist, his hips snap to yours without any warning, all of his length splitting you open with a delicious sting that quickly becomes euphoric. Both of your jaws go slack at the feel of one another. 

This time around, you were carrying his baby, creating a bond between the two of you that could never be broken. You belonged to him and belonged to you. Joel’s eyes are dangerously dark as he leans over you, your ass in his hands, his cock in your cunt, and now his lips against yours. He kisses you roughly, tongue tasting yours as you gasp for air in between each kiss.

His hips slap against yours at a devastating pace, the trinkets on the dresser clinking together, drawers shaking violently, the entire frame of the dresser threatening to dent the walls.

His kisses are rough, his thrusting is brutal, and his grip on your waist was sure to leave bruises in the morning. Joel is far from gentle. He’s fucking you. Hard. And you love every minute of it. The way his skin sounds slapping against yours, the way he grunts in echo of your wanton moans, and the way your wet sounds squelching with his juice, dripping out of your slot and coating the salt and pepper bristles around his cock. It leaves your mouth watering, your cunt dripping, and your legs shaking.

It’s the best sex you ever had.

Joel’s groans deepen, his pace becoming more erratic as your walls clench around him tighter and tighter. You can feel him swelling with each moan. You wrap your legs around his back and reel him in even closer.

“‘m close, baby.”

“Fuck me,” you plea, just to reach your white hot climax too. “Make me yours, Joel.” Your words are enough to send him over the edge. 

“Come on my cock, baby,” the sensations send you over the edge, soaking his cock just like he asks. His head kisses your cervix again and again, and you feel the pressure of his balls on your slot with his final thrust as he pours his warmth into you with a masculine groan, biting into your shoulder and kneading his fingers into your breast. 

“We’re gonna have to stop doin’ this eventually,” he says after pulling out his half-hard cock and watching his sperm drool out of your slot. Then he scoops it up and with two fingers, shoves it back into your hole to hide the mess. 

“Why?” Your brows knit together, eyes wide with desperation as he pulls out again. Why would either of you ever this to end?

“Don’t matter now since you’re already pregnant, but if we keep this up, you’ll keep gettin’ pregnant again ‘n again,” he says taking a few steps back and zipping up his jeans. You almost feel sad that his cock is no longer on display for your pleasure. You decide to be bold with him–you’ve spread your legs twice for him and are the mother of his baby for God’s sake.

You hop off the dresser, sashay over to where he stands, and snake your palms up his chest before placing them on each of his cheeks. You pull him down to you and softly kiss his lips, the tang of your wet is still an aftertaste on his lips.

“I don’t want this to stop. Ever,” you say, voice a little raspy and worn from your lovemaking session.

Joel looks at you in thought, his beautiful brown eyes, once lustful, are now filled with the glistening shine of adoration. In this moment, you can see the outline of yourself reflected in the darkness of his eyes and a feeling of love floods through you once more.

He smiles, crows feet creasing at the side of his eyes as he says, “I’d like that.”

prev / next

[iheartteamnuke]

No because I’m thinking about the accidental implications of the Misadventures recap ppl saying they hope Avid finds his way back home. Like. Where the fuck is that home. Where is it.

Like it’s not Avid Adventures! He’s actively running from AAdventures, actually, imo, based on everything- the architecture gore in the music video being similar to the time he blacked out and came back to a tunnel now with a fleshy interior, the whole “I do not belong” thing, the last conversation he had with Olm where he’s the saddest wettest cat in existence. He does not deem it safe to be on AAdventures anymore, so if he called that home, he can’t make it back!

And yes, Avid said on stream that he was “hired” to be on the ship and he was just a janitor sleeping in the janitors closet. I’ve watched that clip 4 times. But like. Who could’ve hired him? The space flight seems to be unrelated to his landing on Misadventures, so it couldn’t have been Fwhip or Lizzie. He’s the creator of AAdventures, so there’s no one “above” him to tell him what to do besides Olm and they certainly don’t want Avid leaving! He had to make the decision to leave, and he made it pretty quick!

It also can’t be Limbo (he doesn’t remember or like that place), so where is that home? New Salem? Does he even remember New Salem after the memory wipe? Can he call that home anymore, when it’s been over a millennia? How many people there still remember he existed? How many faces can he recognize? How much love does he still hold for that place?

Where the fuck is Avid’s home?

[funkii4-blog]

SMG34 In 2024: A Recap Essay

(all text, no images aside from cover below)

This is extremely long since we got fed pretty well this year, so be prepared to read 3000 words of pure insanity from my silly little brain :))

14x01: Mario Opens A Can Of Beans

Not much to begin with as 3 appears very little in this episode, but about two thirds of the way through he's seen stopping by the castle to ask 4 if he can borrow some sugar. Which is funny since he literally owns a cafe next door to the castle lol

14x02: You Used To Be Cool

Oh boy, this one was a real kicker for being so early in the year, specifically for its second half.  

During the scene where 3 is attempting to torture Depresso, we get a short sequence of him thinking back on memories with his friends; playing Garry’s Mod with Mario, Meggy’s heart-to-heart with him in IGBP, and with 4... Snowtrapped?! This is of course the infamous episode from all the way back in 2016 in which the two got rather intimate with each other, so it’s wild that that is what he thought of with 4 first after everything they’ve been through together.

A little later, in an attempt to get 3 to show he’s still a villain (which he isn’t), Eggman tasks him with killing 4 as his final test. When 3 is told to do this, we can instantly see the unease and regret in 3’s reaction; and it’s made clear that he doesn’t want to do this. Over the last year's worth of episodes up to this point, 3 and 4’s bond had improved drastically; it’d been long established by this point that the two are friends now. 

We then see him in his room holding the gun shakily, visibly terrified; he knows he can’t do this, but he also wants to prove himself to Eggman and is torn. He has another sequence of looking back on memories with 4; the moment he finally declared they were friends at the edge of the Demon Pit, their sweet moment under the sunrise (sunset? Idk I just say it’s the morning following the casino heist) as he drew the two of them in his notebook, and as far back as during the Cosmology saga when they only first started to bond. 

He hits a practice target on his wall and starts boasting about how he “finally has a reason to kill that bozo”, but Eggdog is quick to confront what we already know: 3 cares about 4 and doesn’t actually want to hurt him. And while we can’t understand what Eggdog is saying, I think it’s pretty likely he was giving 3 a hard time about how he actually has a crush on 4, to which 3 ignores and leaves the room. 

Cut to the next day when 3 goes to perform the act; he walks into the kitchen where 4 is, raising the gun and saying a dark monologue (presumably knowing Eggman is listening in). He apologizes for this (something I highly doubt he would have done just a year before), and we get a cut to the window being splattered. We of course know he didn’t actually do it, but they still pull this fakeout on us; 3 actually shot the tomato meme that 4 had on the counter to trick Eggman. 

He says he was actually considering killing him “like usual” (which we know isn’t true anymore), to which 4 cries. Eggman then tries to attack the two of them; he initially aims at 3, who is unfazed by this. However, he switches his aim to 4, causing 3 to immediately panic and take down Eggman himself to avoid 4 getting hit. 

The episode ends with 3 setting his hand on the back of the still-crying 4, who is mourning the death of his tomato meme, as he monologues again; this time it’s about how he’s realized he doesn't need to prove how evil he is and that he’s happy with the people around him. 

14x03: CEO Of Rizz

4 doesn't appear in this episode, but I still wanted to note something in this one to come back to later. This episode is about 3 helping Boopkins with his televised date while trying to boost the cafe’s popularity, and there’s a scene early on where 3 goes over gift ideas. He ultimately settles on a creepy Mickey Mouse sculpture, claiming it to be a perfect gift to give a date. 

14x06: Trash Friends

This one also has a lot to cover, so buckle up ;)

3 is currently under a lot of stress, as his recently opened cafe is having a rough start and seemingly failing. 4 runs to him, also upset about supposedly losing an important endorsement he received. When 3 is confused, 4 proceeds to grab him by the face and pull him close in order to use his powers & project a memory of him losing the endorsement onto 3. He begs 3 for his help, claiming it’s because they’re friends and friends help each other.  

4 then urgently claims he needs this endorsement to become popular; we then see 3 getting an idea to take the endorsement for the cafe, but I also like to think he wanted to get it out of 4’s hands to keep him from growing power hungry over his popularity again. He did put a camera in 4’s room to make sure he didn’t go insane again after the whole perfect video fiasco, after all; he wants to look out for him and make sure there isn't a repeat of that. 

Getting this idea, 3 gets 4 to warm up to him via the “buddy chum pal” bit (the exact same way 4 did to him all the way back in Are You Okay). The two of them along with Mario then go to the trash dump to retrieve the endorsement, and classic star trio chaos ensues. 

The two guardians split up and spend hours trying to find Mario, having walkie-talkie conversations in between. 4 asks about the business, to which 3 lies and says thing are going well. When they join back up and 4 sees 3 trying to open a blocked door, 3 panics and says he’s just trying to open the door for him. 

Something interesting happens after that: when 4 is talking, 3 dissociates and ends up imagining 4 belittling him in a way that expresses 3’s fears: specifically, his fears of being inferior to the other (“worse version of you”) and being forgotten. This isn’t confirmed, but I've seen it theorized that the only opinion that matters to 3 is 4’s (with vice versa also possible). 

Once they find Mario, they fight over him as they both try to claim the drive with the endorsement on it, 3 avoiding telling 4 the truth as long as he can. 

The fight eventually goes too far, with 4 calling 3 selfish since he doesn’t understand why 3 wants it so badly. This causes 3 to snap and have a breakdown, admitting his business is struggling severely and how he feels as if he’s the worse version of 4. This makes 4 realize that 3 is struggling a lot more emotionally than he let on, leading to him deciding to give 3 the endorsement willingly.

14x08: SMG4 And SMG3 Rank SMG4 Characters

And here we are, the first of the 3 & 4 improv episodes. I know it’s debated whether these can be considered, but since they consist of Luke & James (4 & 3’s VAs) having in-character improvised conversations, I still want to bring them up. 

A general frequent aspect of these episodes is the two joking around and generally getting along better, which is nice to see. Usually aside from serious moments, we just see them bickering like the rivals they used to be to each other. We also can see loving glances exchanged from time to time in these episodes’ animation portions. 

14x12: Once Upon An SMG4

I only have one note for this one and it won’t make sense unless you’ve watched The Cuphead Show since it’s a parallel to a scene in that, but I still want to talk about it.

After 3’s song at the beginning, he asks aloud “whoever shall be my sugar daddy?” (yes, that’s actually what he said word for word). There proceeds to immediately be a cut to 4 in his lair. This instantly reminded me of the scene in the Cuphead Show episode “Down & Out”, where King Dice claims there's just one thing missing from the revival of his career; there proceeds to be a camera pan downward to The Devil going about his business in hell. Another thing that likely won’t be known by non-Cuphead fans is that the ship between King Dice and The Devil (at least within the show, idk about the game) is semi-canon: They don’t get together in the media itself, but the team behind the show as well as the two’s voice actors have repeatedly expressed their support of the ship. And based on various events the ship between 3 and 4 can easily also be considered semi-canon... :3 

S14 Movie: Puzzlevision

I think it’s safe to say all the good stuff from this chapter of the PV saga was reserved for this movie, because there’s once again a lot to cover here. So here we go! 

The first of many parodies covered in this movie is of SpongeBob with, pretty fittingly to their characters, 4 as SpongeBob and 3 as Squidward. I know this was likely just done to fit the character roles, but you know I can’t help but note that the ship between SpongeBob and Squidward is also very popular within its own fandom. 

Throughout the movie, the two are seen being notably defensive and protective of each other in the presence of Puzzles, moreso 3 of 4. 

Once the gang is split up into different channels after the song, 3 and 4 are of course put together. The first parody they have to face is Rugrats. When 3 is grabbed, 4 doesn’t hesitate to spring into action and save him. 3 responds with a vulnerable “You saved me!” before going tsundere and calling 4 a baka (surprisingly the only time this running gag was used this year). 

After escaping that channel, they land in a parody of the Titanic film. They spot the portal to the next channel high up in the air above the ship, but neither can reach it on their own. 4 suggests he lifts 3 up to reach it, which 3 hesitantly agrees. The two proceed to reenact one of the most well-known romance scenes in all of cinema, with 3 becoming entranced by the beauty of the view around them as he’s held up by 4, embracing the moment before 4 throws him into the portal. 

14x15: SMG4 And SMG3 Design A Mascot Horror

When discussing game genres to implement, there’s a visual at around the 7:30 mark where 3 (dressed as their game’s mascot) pins 4 against a wall in a flirty manner. 

A bit later when narrowing down mechanics to use, for a split second after 3 & 4 agree to keep the romance aspect, Mario holds up a sign that says “Hi Twitter”. 

14x16: SMG4 Doesn't Meme For 1 Second

I’m not a fan of revisiting this episode, but I’ll do what I must in this case... 

After 4 is sent away, 3 is one of the first to acknowledge that he misses the other’s antics, looking on fondly as he says it made the gang’s lives more exciting. He is also the one to initiate a plan to retrieve 4 from the facility, aggressively knocking on the door when they get there to reach Mr. Niceguy. Much like everyone else, 3 is horrified when he sees how different 4 is when they see him again, attempting to snap him out of it with memes,

14x19: SMG4 Simulator

In the fishing minigame scene, when 4 fishes up 3, it says 3 is worth –100 points; however, 3 has a gold & sparkly aura around him that’s typically reserved for the best items in those types of games; additionally, the 0:34 mark on the minigame timer is skipped. I’ve also seen it theorized that this moment could represent 4 pushing away potential romantic feelings he may have for 3. 

Shortly after, 3 is seen sitting next to 4 as he grows sad over not having the reality from the ASMR video he’s listening to, telling him to do something productive before walking away. 4 contemplates briefly before deciding to listen to his advice. 

Toward the end of the episode, he’s shown to have a bootleg plush of 3 in his inventory. 

14x20: Mario's Plane Trip

3 doesn’t appear in this episode, but this is where my note from CEO of Rizz comes in! 

When 4 is getting his luggage scanned, it can be seen that one of the items inside is the creepy Mickey sculpture from before, that 3 described as a great gift for a date. One of 3’s signature bombs is also inside the suitcase. 

In a scene much later in the episode, 4 and Swag have a heart-to-heart about loved ones back home; in this conversation, Swag mentions his spouse. 4 then pulls a locket out and says he has someone waiting back home as well, but the scene is interrupted by Mario before we can see the picture inside. As you can imagine, a lot of people have theorized that 3’s picture is in that locket.

14x27: SMG4 And SMG3 Shop For Cursed Items

It’s a small visual detail but when settling on a gift for Tari, they do a cute high five. 

14x28: Mario Gets Stuck as a GIF 

When Mario loses control and starts to spin around the cafe, 3 quickly pulls 4 under the front counter with him to keep him from getting hurt. 

When 4 is scanning data of 3 in the HQ computer, 3 takes note of how 4 makes the model of him (“Do I really look like that from the back?”), even checking himself out to compare after. 

14x33: Mario Loses His Mustache 

Before the competition, 3 and 4 attempt to conspire to rig it in Mario’s favor; however, this is quickly shut down by Puzzles. 

14x34: SMG4 Theory 

Barely worth noting, but 4 is seen imagining Snowtrapped as he asks if every episode is a dream. 

14x35: SMG4 & SMG3 Come Up with an Episode 

The episode begins with 4 bursting into 3’s room while he sleeps, asking if he’s ready to “make magic”. He then proceeds to ask afterward what he’s doing in 3’s bed (which, mind you, was an improvised line from Luke). 

When 3 asks why 4 needs his help making an episode, 4 responds with telling him that his videos need spice that he thinks 3 can provide, even calling him the rosemary to his bread.  

This is definitely purely coincidental since this line was also improvised, but the rosemary plant has represented love since ancient times, being believed to reveal a person's true love. 

When 4 agrees that 3 should be a main part of the episode, the official sticker of 3 blushing is stuck onto his face. 

The episode they come up with was eventually made, but no, I won't be covering it. 

14x38: Welcome to Puzzle Park 

When Mario is thrown back by the force of Leggy’s yells, it almost seems as if 3 and 4 are leaning on each other on the sofa. 

When 3 sees Luigi get pulled into a portal and realizes something is wrong, his first instinct is to find 4 & Mario and tell them to run. He fails to reach them before getting taken himself, but texts 4 a warning in the last moments beforehand; it’s also seen they both have joke-insult nicknames for each other in their phones. Just a couple years prior 3 would never have taken time to warn anyone and would just have saved himself, showing how far his development has come. 

On top of that, I've seen it guessed that the reason 3 looked so mortified when he saw Luigi get taken was because it gave him flashbacks to seeing 4 get pulled back into the castle in IGBP, hence his immediate action to help 4 get away. 

14x42: Mario Gets Stuck In Traffic

Though they are seen bickering on their way, it’s commonly joked by fans in the shipping community that their trip together to the forklift convention could be seen as a date. 

14x43: The Mario PC Virus

Okay, there’s only a couple notes for this one, but they’re big and important ones. 

When the Crocker virus entities are scavenging through 4’s computer, one of them digs through a folder on his desktop titled ‘Super-Secret Spicy Memes’. It pulls one out, showing 3 traced over a Grimace meme with the text “what’s the matter smg4-kun"; it proceeds to scream the “I know what you are” line from the English dub of Chainsaw Man at 4 over it. It should be noted that that audio bit is commonly used as a joke to tell someone that you know that they’re queer. On top of the meme bring flirtatious in nature and being in a secretive folder, it’s entirely likely that this goofy five-second bit actually indirectly confirms 4’s already-suspected crush on 3. 

When Bonzi’s power destroys the computer’s data, the video projections of 3 and 4 hug somberly as they’re erased; this is the first time that they've been seen emotionally hugging. It’s notably much more romantic in nature compared to a normal hug too, with their foreheads touching and one of each of their hands interlocked. 

Ben, the show’s thumbnail artist, also followed up with a tweet saying “they gay fr :3"  

Late addition, but in the merch sale community post video the day before 14x45, 4’s drawing could be seen taped to a page of 3’s notebook. 

14x46: Luigi Doesn’t Need Mario 

In the scene where the gang is at the hospital, the angle at which they’re shown makes it look like 3 and 4 are holding hands at Mario’s bedside. 

And that's everything! This year may have been a really rough one for the show, but I think it's safe to say the shippers were done a great service throughout. Hopefully the hints keep coming in 2025! (and possibly even them finally becoming canon? please?? it's clear the team loves to play with their dynamic in a romantic way, if they truly want to make it happen then just do it!!! /silly)

[dreaminofdixon]

Seven.

A/N: You know how you write something and you just get so excited that you wanna share it, but at the same time...that means you have to get your ass in gear because the things you wanna share are near the end of where you're currently facing a little writer's block? No? Just me? Oh well. haha We still have a long way to go 'til then, so enjoy!!

The group rolled back that night, minus Merle, and Daryl lost it—full-on, veins-popping, nearly-swinging-at-Rick lost it. His brother, his last frayed tether to the world before it all went to shit, was gone. When the story trickled out, his fury hit a new peak. Merle, apparently, had stumbled onto some booze in town, got sloppy, and started popping off rounds from a rooftop like a damn idiot—drawing every walker in earshot. Rick, ever the cop, shut it down. Hard.

Problem is, “shutting it down” meant cuffing Merle to a pipe up there—leaving him staked out like a buffet. Legal? Hell no, not by any pre-apocalypse standard I know, but laws are meaningless now. Daryl demanded they turn around right then to get him, eyes wild, voice cracking with rage. Dale and T-Dog stepped in, voices low and steady, talking him off the ledge—barely. They settled on heading back at dawn, which left us here: campfire flickering, Rick trying to justify it to the group, and Daryl nowhere in sight, vanished the second they’d hit camp, again, without his brother.

Rick’s recap was grim—Merle, drunk and mouthy, had forced his hand. But the kicker? Merle’d sawed off his own damn hand to escape. Left it there, bloody and cuffed, a grisly breadcrumb. I couldn’t wrap my head around it—the panic, the pain, the sheer balls it’d take. Merle’s a bastard, sure, but that? Even he must’ve been terrified, bravado or not.

The fire dwindled, Shane climbed atop the RV for watch, and everyone else scattered to their tents, murmurs fading into the night. Me? Solo in my little canvas box, no TV, no phone—just me, a borrowed book from Dale’s stash, and my trusty battery lantern. I flipped the last page of my eighth read, some dog-eared thriller, and let it thump shut. Head hit the pillow, eyes tracing the tent’s sagging roof, and the spiral started. Is this it? Endless nights of dark and quiet, scraping by ‘til we don’t? Worth fighting for, or just… delaying the inevitable? Existential crisis at full tilt—great.

I scrubbed my face, groaning, and sat up, yanking on my boots. Knife in hand, I unzipped the flap and stepped into the moonlight, the air thick with cricket hums and the odd hoot of an owl. Darkness pressed in, heavy and close, but I picked my way to the creek, ears pricked for anything off. Moonlight sliced through the trees, glinting off the water’s quick ripples, a breeze cutting through the day’s leftover heat. I sank down on the bank, knees tucked to my chest, and let the steady rush ground me—my go-to when anxiety clawed too deep. Memories crept in—old life, old me, all gone. Nothing’s ever gonna—

A rustle snapped me out of it. I shot up, squinting into the shadows, heart kicking. “Shouldn’t be out here,” came that low growl, and I exhaled, tension easing but not gone.

“Damn it, Daryl, stop sneaking up on me like that!” I hissed, glaring into the dark—he probably couldn’t see it, but it felt good.

“Sorry,” he muttered, barely audible, stepping closer. He dropped down a few feet away, mirroring me—knees up, arms draped—and the silence settled, warm and easy, not awkward. I rested my head on my knees, stealing a glance. Moonlight caught the sharp lines of his face, the tense set of his jaw.

“How you holding up?” I asked, soft, testing.

“Fine,” he grunted, flipping his knife over in his hands, blade flashing as he studied it like it held answers. Bullshit—he was a mess, and it showed in the tight grip, the way his shoulders stayed rigid. Nice to know he’s human under all that grit.

“You sure?” I pressed, gentle but firm.

He met my eyes—dark, guarded, hurting—and shrugged, a sharp breath lifting his chest. No words, but I felt it roll off him in waves. I reached out, hesitant, resting my hand on his forearm—warm, tense under my fingers. He flinched, just a flicker, but didn’t pull away. I squeezed lightly, a quiet I’m here, then let go, curling back into myself.

We sat like that forever, silence stretching, the creek’s murmur filling the gaps. I yawned, jaw cracking, and he shifted. “Should get back,” he said, voice a whisper. “Yer tired.”

I pursed my lips—yeah, he’s right, but the tent’s dark, empty pull gnawed at me. He stood, offering a hand—rough, calloused, steady. I took it, letting him haul me up, steadying myself as I landed close—too close. The dark emboldened me, and I studied him: shadowed eyes, tight mouth, that raw edge he carried like armor.

“You ever wonder if things’ll go back to what it used to be?” I asked, voice low, searching.

“Nah.” His gaze held mine, unflinching. “Pointless.”

I nodded, stepping back, boots scuffing dirt as we headed for camp. “Trying to get my head around it,” I admitted. “It’s tough.”

“Maybe fer you,” he said, dry, a hint of bite.

“You don’t miss it? Not even a little?”

“Ain’t much changed.” He paused, eyes distant. “No job, no house, no family—‘cept Merle. Now he’s gone. Nothin’ worth missin’.”

That hit like a punch—bare, brutal, more than I’d expected. No home, no one but Merle, and now even that’s ripped away. “I’m sorry about him,” I said, meaning it.

“He’s a tough sonuvabitch. Out there somewhere. Just gotta find ‘im.” His voice hardened, clinging to that thread.

“If there’s anything I can do…” I trailed off, earnest.

“Threesome ain’t gonna track ‘im down,” he deadpanned, and I caught the faintest grin—moonlight glinting off teeth.

I laughed, quiet and real, nudging him. “Look at you, cracking jokes in a crisis.” The lightness faded as we walked, shoulder to shoulder. “Seriously, though. I’d like to help. You’re always bailing everyone else out—I wanna be there for you.”

“Don’t need—”

“Shut up,” I cut in, soft but firm. “You don’t have to go it alone. I’ll even square it with Carol so she doesn’t think I’m moving in on her turf.” Smirked, teasing.

He scoffed, a rough huff. “Better tell Shane first.”

“Shane’s not into me, Daryl,” I said, unzipping my tent as we stopped. “No worries there.”

“Supposed t’ believe that?” His tone edged sharp, skeptical.

“Doesn’t matter what you believe—it’s true. And even if he was, I don’t touch sloppy seconds.” Shrugged, casual, but firm. “Anyway, thanks for… this. Was nice.”

“Yeah,” he said, slow, nodding like he felt it too.

“Goodnight, Daryl.”

“Night.”

He lingered ‘til I ducked inside, gave a little wave, and zipped up—like some old-school gent seeing me to my door. I flopped onto my mattress, staring at the dark, that ache for touch still buzzing under my skin. Years since I’d felt anything real—hugs, hands, anything—and it hit hard tonight. But Daryl… he’s a wall, convinced love’s a ghost not worth chasing. Me? I can’t buy that. Merle’s gone, yeah, but that doesn’t mean he’s got nothing left to fight for. Maybe I can’t fix it, but I’ll be damned if I don’t try showing him he’s wrong—quietly, steadily, ‘til he sees it too.

*****

@imadisneyprincessiswear

[cynthiav06]

So let's finally talk about it. There's very few things that can actually make me mad on PJO fandom. Calling Percy dumb is the first one. It makes me seethe in rage. And among the other ones is calling Jason Grace boring.

What do you think is worse than trauma? You guessed it. Childhood trauma. Jason Grace is one of the most tragic PJO characters ever. You could almost say the quest with the Seven was one of the better things that happened to him.

Let's recap his life real quick.

Absolutely terrible mother who dumped him near Lupas territory when he was literally 2 years old. And the fact that he would be better off with Lupa than with Beryl Grace is just a testament to how shit of a mother and person she was.

Then he had to win Lupa's approval while she trained him when he was a literal toddler. If you think that's the end of it, it's not even close. Then he was sent to the camp. It was pleasant, as pleasant as a child-soldier factory can be. Which is not at all.

Being the son of Jupiter, he had insane expectations and prejudices forced upon him, along with a certain caged way of living. Fight a certain way, behave a certain way, think a certain way, and repeat. A monotonous, cyclic existence with no escape and no way for self thinking. After all, the Romans are about as creative as a marble is sharp. Imagine it, a child being raised in the legion, by the legion, molded to be the perfect soldier and Praetor who should have only the Legions benefit in mind with no opinions of his own.

Anyone, anyone would go insane and lose their mind because this is torture, complete, and utter torture. But do you know what's worse, that Jason didn't know how the world was supposed to be. Whatever he was used to living, he believed to be the normal thing. He had no idea the things that happened to him were wrong for a long time. In fact, he strived to be even more perfect, all for what? The approval of a god that was his father? A god he had never seen or heard from? That in itself is the tragedy of most Roman demigods or just demigods in general. But at least the Greek ones get to see them every once in a while.

I think Reyna was the first to see his as his own person and to give his individual opinions actual importance. Because she knew what it felt like to live a life of servitude and imprisonment. Under Circe and the pirates. I like to think that's how they bonded. By making each other's lives a bit happier than their former bleak prospects. And I bet they were super close. You can't convince me otherwise. Which is why I will never forgive Rick for ruining their relationship over Piper of all people.

4.

Then, of course, he was demigod too on top of that, so his life was obviously and decidedly terrible. Being sent on fatal missions? Having the responsibility of not only his own life but his comrades life thrust upon him? CAN YOU IMAGINE LIVING LIKE THAT?? THE ABJECT HORROR OF A LIFE LIKE THAT?

5.

If that's not enough his even more repulsive and terrible godly father fucking offers him to Hera to appease her rage like he is some sort of bloody object. An object to be sold. A fuckinhg APOLOGY GIFT. And then what does Hera do to him? She wipes his memories, sends him to a foreign land which was previously considered enemy territory by the Camp he grew up in, forces fake memories upon him of fake friends, and sent him on another death quest. But at least Leo was one of the nicer things about that whole situation. I won't be touching the wreck that is Jiper with a ten foot pole.

And on, of course, he also gets nearly killed by the same goddess he was offered to as an apology gift. If that was enough, he would find out about the existence of his sister who had grown up and gone her own way, thinking he was dead and now was basically a stranger to him? Yeah wow.

And then everything else from the series happens like dear God, him and Percy are practically drowning in trauma. With Hazel, Nico and then Leo after them.

But at least Percy had Sally (even though the reason he put up with Gabe and his mental and physical abuse was Sally) and even though he felt like Sally was always sending him away and no longer wanted him which was fair of him to think but a grave misunderstanding. Sally was still the best thing in his life. Percy had someone to live for something to live forward to even though he was practically almost dying every year, which kept adding to his trauma. And Poseidon, he cared, acknowledged, and helped Percy. The bare minimum and Poseidon actually did even more.

We can assume Jason also had similar experiences with neither a mother's unconditional love nor a god's genuine care and love.

I am not going to say the Camp point because being the son of Jupiter, Jason had certain assurances, but Percy was practically ostracized or badly treated till book 3.

The only good thing that happened in Jason's life was meeting Reyna, the other Seven, and being friends with them, Nico and his sister, and also not falling in Tartarus, so yeah man's living his best life.

So no Jason Grace isn't boring, he is the most in depth character who had his autonomy and childhood stolen, his interests and opinions razed and his entire life molded and shaped for him, turning his mind and body into a tool to serve so called greater interests of Gods and Camp Jupiter. It's like ridiculing a blind man for not being able to see.

Next time, think twice before making that absolutely thoughtless, mindless, wildly inaccurate and cruel comment ever again.

There's no need to blindly hate Jason cause you love Percy or on Percy cause you love Jason. Hell, Percy is my absolute favorite, 90% of my posts are about him, but Percy is awesome and arguably the best all by himself. This is also true for Jason's character. (I am probably the only one who thinks Jason is stronger than Nico just due to greater experience and stamina.) We don't need to be like Rick or ship stans who demean Percy to prop up Annabeth or other characters. They are both iconic and great friends despite whatever rivalry Rick was trying to project.

[luvjunie]

— Unforgettable ( 3 )

part one • part two • part three • part four • part five

pairing: e-1610!miles x fem!reader

contains: sooo much fluff, plot progression, a glimpse into reader and miles’ relationship, the moment we’ve all been waiting for 🤭, and another itty bitty plot twist

summary: a bump in with a certain boy at the bodega threatens to ruin your previously perfect afternoon until he offers to fix it. you assumed things would end there, and then you ran into him again. wc: 3,254

a/n: i know y’all ain’t think i forgot about this series!!! but here’s a long chapter as an apology since i made y’all wait so long </3 also did i say an ‘itty bitty’ plot twist? cause i be lying. recap of part two is in small italics!

prev | next

“You had her approval as soon as you called her Mrs. Morales.”

Your head tilted in question, eyes panning to the ceiling in thought. “Isn’t that normal? Calling someone’s parent by their last name?”

A comfortable silence settled, just for a moment.

“You’d think so.” A smile curled Miles’ lips, the memory of when he’d introduced the first girl he’d ever liked to his parents flashing into his mind; his interest in tossing the ball paused momentarily as images from the past flooded his thoughts.

Wait… Why was he thinking about her?

. . .

“Miles?”

“Milesss?”

“Huh?” Miles blinked quickly as he brought himself back to the present, his slightly startled gaze landing on your puzzled expression.

“Earth to Morales?” Your tone leaked with a playfulness as you quirked a brow at him. “Did you hear a word I just said?”

“Nah, sorry,” Miles cleared his throat, then scratched his forehead with a laugh he hoped didn’t sound too awkward. “Just spaced out for a sec. What’d you say?”

“I saiddd,” Laying on your stomach as your thumbs twiddled along the screen of your phone, you sent a quick text before you continued. “—It’s getting kinda late, and if I’m not home in the next thirty minutes my Grandma will alert the entire police force over my absence.” you chuckled, the perpetual buzzes of replies sounding from your phone only furthering your point.

“Oh— Yeah, you’re right. My bad, I didn’t even realize.” Miles stood and grabbed his coat from the hook off his closet door before he turned towards you with a warm grin.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

—

Miles had been staring at his ceiling ever since he got back home, headphones blasting music over his ears to drown out the inevitable. For what seemed like hours, and for what probably was, he was trapped in an endless rumination he didn’t want to be a part of.

The grace his weekend temporarily granted him had unfortunately come to an end, and before he knew it, there was a knock on his bedroom door that reminded him of the upcoming drive him and his dad had to make back to Visions.

—

“Dude, this is so stupid. My head is about to explode from all this thinking.” Clad in a wifebeater and plaid boxers as he laid on the top bunk, Miles whined out what had only been his hundredth complaint in the span of fifteen minutes.

“And I can’t find my bonnet!”

Miles’ voice was muffled by the fluff of his pillow, the same pillow that was clutched tightly and caged between his arms as an effort to cling onto the last bit of his sanity. Also the same pillow that’d gone flat nearly two months ago. How convenient.

He thought talking Ganke’s ear off about all his feelings would help sort through his thoughts, but it did the exact opposite. Miles’ feelings for you were growing, that was an undeniable fact, so he still couldn’t figure out why after an entire year, Gwen was still on his mind. Why couldn’t he just forget about her?

“I really like this girl, man. Like, really, really like her. Like, Sunflower ain’t got shit on this girl, like her.” Miles blinked, astonished at his own words as he carried on, “Like, I offered to walk her home instead of having my mom drive her, like her—“

“Bro— Bro. I get it,” Ganke interrupted.

“I didn’t even know I could feel like this for someone else!” Pulling himself into a seated position, Miles let his legs dangle over the side of the bed. “I mean, I even let her meet my parents. You know how I am about that!” He exclaimed, arms outstretched as if they would help him present his case better. Ganke, in fact, did not know how he was about that.

“That obviously means I’m over Gwen! Right?”

No answer.

“Right?”

“I dunno, dude! Now you see why I don’t even bother dealing with that kind’a junk. It’s confusing as hell. “ Ganke’s eyes darted from side to side as they tracked the video game on his PC’s monitor, tongue poking at his lip in intense concentration. His half-baked advice to Miles was as much as he could muster without losing focus on his Call of Duty mission. “That’s love for you, man.”

Miles’ eyes went wide and his heart began to race. “Woah woah woah— I ain’t say anything about love!” Technically, he did, just in different words.

With a weighted sigh the controller plunked out of Ganke’s hands and down onto the desk, ‘MISSION FAILED’ flashing in bold onto the screen.

“Alright, look,” Ganke spun around in his chair and glanced up at the top bunk. “If you like this girl as much as you say you do, why don’t you just go for it? What’s stopping you? A girl who’s not even here anymore?” he scoffed. “Quit dwelling on the past and look at what’s right in front of you. You know, someone who’s actually in this universe.”

Miles sat with pursed lips as he stared down at his open palms, treading in the water of his thoughts.

“You know what,” Head raising, he looked to his roommate with a newfound determination. “You’re right, Ganke. Starting tonight, I’m done thinking about the past.” Miles nodded.

“Great, now either let me get back to my mission in peace, or grab a damn controller and help me.”

Ganke was right. Gwen’s gone, and she wasn’t coming back. It’s not even possible.

Miles let the conclusion settle within him as he dug around in the junk drawer for the spare controller.

It’s time for him to move on.

—

As you relaxed on your back in the room you’d been in more times than you could even remember at this point, head idly bopping to an album by Tears for Fears, you thought back to the time before you knew Miles. And even though you hadn’t known him for nearly as long as you’d known yourself— maybe just caught up in the whirlwind of something new and exciting, or him in general— you couldn’t help but feel as if his presence had been missing from your life this entire time.

Spending the day with him had become as normal as breathing to you. His space had become your space (his words), and it rang true as you hummed along to the tune echoing from the record player on his desk.

“Help me to decide. Help me make the most of freedom, and of pleasure. Nothing ever lasts forever…”

The song ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ wrapped you snug in a warm sense of nostalgia, it having been one of your favorites since middle school. And paired with being around your favorite person— you were sure you never wanted to leave this moment. You smiled to yourself at the upside down image you had of Miles as you let your head hang over the side of his bed, the beads on the ends of your braids clinking against his wooden floors when your head tilted with a new found query.

“Miles,”

He hummed, but it wasn’t the kind that sounded as if you’d interrupted him, or as if he were annoyed. It was the kind that let you know he was interested in whatever you wanted to tell him, and that you had his attention even if his eyes weren’t on you.

“Okay, bear with me here. And answer carefully, because this kind of decides the type of person you are and whether I’ll even speak to you afterwards.”

“Wait, what is it?” He quickly looked up at you—upside down you, at least— with concerned eyes and you struggled to hide your grin.

“What color do you think science is?”

“Are you serious?” He deadpanned.

Your brow raise was his answer.

“Green, obviously.”

“Interesting choice. Why green?”

Miles shrugged, “Cause of the environment. Plants are green. And when I think of plants, I think of photosynthesis. Photosynthesis, equals science. Therefore,” pen in hand, he made a ‘viola’ gesture. “Green.”

“Mm,” You scrunched your nose, eyes panning back to the ceiling. “I guess I can see that.”

“And math is blue.” He tacked on.

“Blue!?” You balked, flipping over onto your stomach so his face was right side-up now. “Math? Blue? Are you deadass?”

“As dead as ass can be.” Miles quipped with a snort and continued to scribble away at the page he’d been sketching on for the last half hour.

“History is blue, not math!” You scoffed.

“Alright Y/n, what other color would math be then?” He asked incredulously.

“Red, duh.”

“Red?” He repeated breathlessly. “Why would math be red?”

“Well,” you started, “Math makes me angry. And when I think about anger, I think about the color red, just like everybody else does. And I hate red, just like I hate math. Numbers and letters do not belong together, just like pineapple on pizza. Therefore,” you mimicked his previous gesture to the air with a confident grin. “Red.”

“Pineapple— Numbers… What?” Miles blinked at you with both disbelief and confusion, the corners of his mouth threatening to expose his amusement as they lifted. “That’s it? That’s your grand explanation?”

“Mm-hm.” You hummed proudly, chin perched in both your hands.

Miles shook his head as his smile finally made itself known, dimples and all the moment your lashes batted at him.

“Not gon’ lie to you, that sounded like a whole bunch’a bullshit.” He laughed at your fake offended expression.

One of Miles’ favorite things about you was how you always seemed to ramble about everything, and nothing at the same time. He thought it was adorable.

“Well, the math part I understand, I guess.” he shrugged. “But you can’t possibly hate the color red all that much.”

Your brows furrowed at him, “What makes you say that?”

“Cause,” Miles turned his sketchbook towards you, the drawing he’d been working on this entire time revealed to be a moment he’d caught of you, gazing up at his ceiling just the way you were a moment ago. “Look.”

You nearly felt your heart stop as you took in what was in front of you. All this time while you were in your own world, singing along to whatever song came and went, he’d been focused solely on you. You dragged your eyes up from the paper so they’d meet his, your calves swiftly tucking under your thighs when you rushed to sit up in a straighter position.

“I—Is that me?” You blabbed out before you could think.

“Nah, it’s Boo-Boo the fool.” Miles huffed out a laugh. “Yes, it’s you dummy.”

Gentle strokes of red to the thin paper framed your face and lips, the attention to detail he used brought your eyes to life on the page, and he’d even managed to capture the beads on the bottom of your braids, too.

“How the hell did you do that?”

He shrugged shyly and turned his artwork to face him once more, studying the page as if he hadn’t been doing just that all this time. His heart was beginning to race faster than he’d originally predicted, and he wondered if he should’ve shown you.

“It’s kind of muscle memory at this point.”

Miles heard the words that came out of his own mouth, and you did too, but it was like the both of you comprehended exactly what he’d said at the same time.

“Don’t—“ He tried, but it was too late, you were already gushing, and he was already blushing.

“Awwwww!”

“Please—“

“Milessss!” you teased, ignoring his plea.

“Stop it.” Flustered, he shielded a smile behind his hand and tried to look anywhere else but your face.

“You’re so cute when you blush.”

—

Things were beyond easy with Miles.

The two of you never ran out of things to talk about and he always matched your energy, as if he were the other half of you.

There were no awkward moments, or pressure towards the other about making a move, because deep down you both knew what this was, and that everything would fall into place with time.

It was apparent in the way he looked at you, in how perfectly you fit in his arms when he hugged you goodbye, and how you always relaxed in his embrace when he would hold onto you just a bit longer.

Your first date went perfectly. Well, not really, but that’s what made it even better.

An ominous ‘be ready in 20 mins’ text to your phone and about a half hour later, Miles popped up at your door, pink tulips in hand and a smile big enough to match his signature jacket.

The two of you decided to catch a movie after a short train ride to the theater, and he let you pick. Horror being one of your favorite genres, that’s what you went with, and like everything else that came with you, Miles agreed.

But just thirteen minutes in at one of the simplest jumpscares (if you could even call it one), Miles let out a scream belonging on one of the highest vocal registers your ears had ever heard, and it sent you into such an uncontrollable fit of laughter that you ended up accidentally spilling your fresh popcorn all over the floor.

Miles’ ego wasn’t nearly big enough for him to remain embarrassed once the tears started rolling from your eyes, and eventually, the laughter he tried to stifle made itself known to everyone sitting around you. And when you say everyone, you mean everyone.

It only took two minutes of you guys cackling and snorting before the both of you were asked to leave, and you had no idea how you made it out of the theater with how hard your stomachs were cramping.

—

Sure, the movie hadn’t gone quite as planned, but you didn’t mind and neither did he. As long as you both were in each other’s company, you wouldn’t mind watching paint dry.

The blue hue of the night had long enveloped the city, and as you and Miles sat up on the roof of his apartment, the dimmed fairy lights twinkling in the darkness from where they were strung across the perimeter, you made a mental note to study up on the movie you told your Grandma you were staying out late to see.

You leaned into Miles and rested your head on his shoulder, knees pulling to your chest as you exhaled softly.

“You cold?”

Far from it, actually.

A perpetual breeze prompted your bodies to curl into each other more, though goosebumps and chattering teeth were nowhere in sight, only fingers secretly inching closer and hearts growing fonder.

“I should be asking you, I’m wearing your jacket.” you joked.

“Nah,” he chuckled. “I’m alright.”

The silence was comfortable. You didn’t want to go home just yet and Miles wasn’t ready to say goodbye for the night, so you stayed.

This had become a new norm for the two of you, so much so that this was pretty much how all your hangouts ended. You’d stay just a little longer, and then he’d take you home. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but for some weird reason you always felt much safer when you were with Miles, like he’d be able to protect you if anything were to happen when the two of you were together.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever been in love before?”

Miles’ voice was quiet, nearly drowned out from the lively sounds of the city around you. You were surprised you even heard it.

You swallowed, and it took so much effort to form your lips around the simple word you answered with. “W-what?”

He cleared his throat as his posture straightened slightly. “Like, do you know what love is? Is what I mean...” He clarified quickly, mentally cursing himself for how badly he worded things, even if it’s what he meant. He didn’t even know if you felt the same.

You lifted your head from his shoulder, prompting his own to turn towards you, but you didn’t meet his eyes. You settled for toying with the sleeve of his jacket as your heart began to thrum a little faster.

Nibbling at the inside of your lip, you inhaled quietly before answering. “When they’re the first person your mind thinks of when you hear the word ‘love’. Or maybe when the thought of them gets you out of bed in the morning instead of your alarm clock. You know when you know, basically. That’s what I was taught, and I think it checks out.” you glanced over at him, and he felt like time stopped when your eyes locked.

“Do you?” you asked.

“H-Huh?” Miles was enthralled with how pretty you looked, and how your features were perfectly illuminated by the gentle glow of the city lights, so much so that he could hardly think straight.

Rolling your eyes and suppressing a giggle, you shook your head at him. “—Do you know what love is, dummy.”

“Not exactly— uh, I don’t think so, no.” Miles’ jaw tensed and his gaze met yours once more. The twinkle in your eyes temporarily dimming due to the fear of this all being in your head.

“Oh.” you murmured.

“But I think I know what it feels like.” He said softly.

“Really?”

Lips parting slightly for a shaky breath to pass, Miles nodded. “Positive.”

Your eyes fell down to his lips almost immediately, then lifted back up to see that his had done the same to yours.

“Well… What does it feel like?”

The question left your mouth long before you could’ve thought to stop it, yet regret was the last thing you felt. What you were feeling was something entirely different.

Your faces grew closer until your noses brushed against each others, a second spared as a chance for either of you to bail on what you both knew was bound to happen in a matter of time.

He leaned in and you let him— let your arms curl around his neck and his around your waist so your lips could meet faster. Let your lips move against each other’s because it felt right, because that’s what you knew love to be. Letting something happen because it felt right.

He felt right.

Miles pulled away, but barely, his breath warm against your lips. “Come to my parent’s party tomorrow?” He blurted.

Hands holding the back of his neck, you blinked yourself out of your daze, brows furrowed. “What?”

“My dad, they’re making him police captain. We’re celebrating tomorrow, here, and I want you to come.” Miles licked his lips. “Well I— I was gonna invite you anyway. But now I really want you to come. And I wanted you to come before this happened, obviously—“

“I’d love to.” You smiled, and let him pull you back into him the second you’d given your answer.

—

Miles remembered what it was like to be so head over heels in love with someone that it consumed him entirely. How it corrupted his days and fogged his mind with nothing but the thought of them, and he could feel himself slipping back into it again, but this time, with you. And if he were being honest, it kind of scared him, how quickly you’d claimed his heart.

But what he did know was that you liked him, and he liked you. He’ll admit, he didn’t expect his feelings for you to develop as fast as they did, for them to hit him as hard as they had. But he was past that now. Tomorrow was going to be special, and not just for his family, but for the two of you. He was finally going to take the leap he’d been too scared to make before tonight.

You were the perfect girl, that he was sure of. And who’d be dumb enough to not accept perfect when it was right in front of them?

He wanted this. He wanted you.

But any chance for another sensical thought was interrupted when the impossible happened.

‘Impossible’, being the multi-layered hexagonal portal that suddenly opened up on his ceiling, and the blonde-haired, gap-toothed girl he thought he’d never see again, appearing with it.

Bright and beaming down at him with a heart-halting grin, Miles felt his stomach drop as soon as she spoke.

“Miles!”

Shit.

taglist: @burymeinside @secret-ssociety @whatamidoing89 @urmotherswhor3 @valovesyou @inlovewithfictionalppl @edgyficuselastica @motherwanda @mybfmiles @axeoverblade @miumiulicious @sukisprettyface @gwennesy @simpnotapimp @kanvis @cleo-dearts @retirement-home @lunaramune @silas-222 @citrusequalsfrogs @itsberrydreemurstuff @spritecranverry @mewhenimanangel @wisteriaflowersss

(if you asked to be tagged and i didn’t tag you, that’s because your user didn’t show up 💔)

[veliseraptor]

April Reading Recap

Now with Storygraph generated visuals!

Finished out my Wheel of Time reread last month with Towers of Midnight and A Memory of Light; I still have all the same frustrations with both and with Brandon Sanderson's books more generally but A Memory of Light did make me cry (again) so...I have to give it credit there, if for nothing else. The other 11 books I read, not including the Black Widow trade paperback collections that I reread (mostly because I felt lazy about it):

The Haunting of Room 904 by Erika Wurth. This book confused me - as in, I wasn't totally sure what was going on or why. The plot was happening but I wasn't really following the chain of causality most of the time. I'm still going to read Erika Wurth's other book, because I didn't find the experience of reading itself to be unenjoyable, and maybe it was just me, but...damn, I felt like I was struggling to piece this book's disparate pieces together and figure out what it was saying.

A Rome of One's Own: The Forgotten Women of the Roman Empire by Emma Southon. I don't know that I could adequately explain why I picked this one up when I was mildly irritated by A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, except that I guess gender-related studies of the Roman Republic/Empire are catnip to me in a similar way that mythological retellings are (I often don't like them, I read them anyway). I was once again mildly irritated by the chatty, conversational tone of this book, which is really a me problem and not an it problem but I did find it personally grating. The scholarship underlying the text might be strong but the text itself feels like it undermines the scholarship. Or maybe I'm just a snob.

The Merciful Crow by Margaret Owen. I almost never read YA for a few different reasons, but this one was recommended by a friend so I gave it a go. And it was pretty good! But still did feel very YA to me in a lot of ways. I don't know if I'll pick up the sequel. I might, because it was a very quick read and I found some of the worldbuilding interesting, but I didn't really connect to most of the characters and found the plot fairly predictable.

Metal From Heaven by August Clarke. I've seen this book recommended widely so I had high hopes for it, and I wasn't...disappointed? Exactly? But I don't think it really worked for me. Possibly some of that is that first person narration is something that is really hit-or-miss for me, but honestly I think more of it comes down to the fact that - and I feel like I keep saying this - it ended up feeling like the delivery mechanism for a manifesto rather than a narrative. Which wasn't inevitable, I don't think! There were interesting things going on here, potentially! Though I think they were underexploited in terms of the, I don't know, moral thorniness that was kind of brushed off by the "our thieves are good and moral" thing. Reminded me a little of what happened with the Lords of Fortune in Veilguard, honestly.

I don't know. Maybe if I can come out of a book feeling like I can confidently say what an author's political stance is on a specific issue, I'm just not going to like it. And now I'm talking myself into feeling like maybe I was disappointed after all.

America for Americans: A History of Xenophobia in the United States by Erika Lee. I've had Erika Lee's other book (on Asian-American history in the United States) on my shelf for a while but got to this one first largely because. You know. I definitely learned about a few new chapters of ignominy in US history that I wasn't previously aware of; I was already in agreement with the main thesis of this book (that xenophobia is a core and recurring piece of United States culture) so that wasn't a revelation to me or anything. This was published pre-2020 but the paperback included a postlude on racism against Asians and Asian-Americans around the outbreak of COVID.

A Short History of Queer Women by Kirsty Loehr. Speaking of books with a chatty, conversational tone that turns me off! This was supposed to be a fun little interlude, took me a few hours to read, I thought I would enjoy it. It annoyed me. It did, however, provide me with a citation of a more sober history of lesbian women that I probably will enjoy more.

The Icepick Surgeon: Murder, Fraud, Sabotage, Piracy, and Other Dastardly Deeds Perpetuated in the Name of Science by Sam Kean. This one was...fine. It was fun, it was interesting, it was trying a little too hard to have a moral message and not just enjoy the narrative ride of people doing wild (and often terrible) things in the name of science. I was also sort of irritated by the author's constant footnotes basically saying "go check out my podcast for more on this!" but maybe that is unfair of me.

Birds of Prey: Murder & Mystery by Gail Simone, Ed Benes, et. al. I don't remember exactly what inspired me to go back and reread this run (because I have read it before), but something did. The art has not aged well; the writing is still quite good. I am, if anyone was wondering, still bitter about DC "fixing" Babs and effectively deaging her.

A Culture of Conspiracy: Apocalyptic Visions in Contemporary America by Michael Barkun. I pulled a quote from this one that was very oof to read in our year 2025. It was originally published in 2003; there's a second edition from 2013 with additional material that I'm trying to acquire, but even that is going to be miserably out of date as far as the current state of conspiracy thought in the United States. I'm glad I read it, though; the most potent thing I took out of it was probably the way the author discussed the shift from conspiracies that are either religious or secular in origin to what he called "improvisational," meaning that they are omnivorous and borrow from multiple, unrelated strains of thought/ideology. I also just finished another book about conspiratorial thinking in the US and found myself comparing it unfavorably to this one, despite the other one being newer.

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett. I love mysteries though I sometimes forget how much. I love second-world fantasy (obviously). I also really love Robert Jackson Bennett's work and pretty much have across the board (though I haven't finished the series beginning with Foundryside). This is clearly riffing on Sherlock Holmes but secondary world, but it worked for me and I'm excited to read the sequel.

The Voyage Home by Pat Barker. I read The Women of Troy a while back and don't really remember it, but The Silence of the Girls by the same author remains one of my all-time standouts of Iliad retellings and myth retellings in general so when I saw this one, and read that it was going to cover some Oresteia ground, I tossed it on to-read list fast. I liked this one better than I remember enjoying the second one - I don't think one needs to read either of the others to read this, though there are connections between them. I think what made this book work for me in a way that myth retellings often (generally) don't was the fact that it felt much less like it was self-consciously Retelling a Myth with a point to make than it was taking an existing story and working within it to tell a different story. It felt much more about the characters than about the myth, if that makes sense. I think telling a solid third+ of the novel from an outside point-of-view - not one of the core myth characters - was also a good choice, here.

---

Anyway - I have about 8 books out from the public library right now, so those are taking priority, followed by the two books I have borrowed from a friend. It's about half/half fiction/nonfiction, mostly horror, so I'm going to try to alternate. Right now I am reading Hungerstone by Kat Dunn, which I am excited about; also upcoming is The Museum of Other People and The Reformatory.

also continuing to reread a bunch more comics, apparently.

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks 4.07 Thoughts

As always, thoughts below the cut to hide any spoilers!

Centering the episode around questions of faith and ritual on the one hand felt a little tonally odd, but also let the show to do a different kind of character exploration and communicate some things quietly for those in the know. For the non-Catholics, baptism is the first sacrament (a sacrament of initiation), and it represents both a rebirth (the cleansing away of original sin) and an entry into a new community/new structure of familial ties. Obviously those Catholic elements aren’t named explicitly in the episode, and the extent to which they register depends upon the familiarity of viewers with the Catholic tradition, but it was a nice way to quietly mark the watery rebirth of Deborah and Ava’s relationship—itself a cleansing (albeit, less wholly) of the wrongs that have been calcifying between them—as well as a way for the episode to talk about what it means for DJ to want something different for her child. We see her stand up for herself in a major way, and even though it becomes clear that it’s profit not faith that’s driving her (much more in character let’s be honest), I think there is something to what she sees in Aiden’s family. It’s not the Catholicism of it all (I PROMISE YOU THAT lmao), but it is a way of orienting themselves around each other that leaves DJ wanting more and better for her son than what she feels she got. And I think the choice of Ava as a godmother (even tho the Church would absolutely not have allowed it as a spur of the moment thing—you gotta prove you’re a practicing Catholic and all!) was a really lovely moment of growth and maturity from DJ.

As an outsider, DJ knows that there’s this version of her mother that Ava has drawn out from the soft, hopeful places Deborah walled off right around the time DJ would have been forming deep memories, but DJ also knows she’ll never be able to give that version of Deborah to AJ because it’s a version she knows of without knowing herself – a very faithful kind of believing without seeing, if you will. And much as she’s willing to wrench Deborah into the sanctuary and threaten to go low or no contact if she ruins something for AJ—an act of harshness born of love—she’s also willing to gift her son a version of her mother that she herself can’t quite access (at least not yet, maybe not ever). Ava can’t give AJ math lessons, let alone the intended role of spiritual guidance, but she can give him the version of Deborah at her best—the version she might have been had Frank and Kathy not done what they did.

Anyway, pivoting away from the Catholic of it all (a sentence I never thought I’d type in a Hacks recap!), the car conversation was obviously beautiful on its own terms, but it was also a nice way to get Deborah thinking about legacy, about belief, about what it is and was (bc it surely wasn’t faith in any higher power) that gave Deborah the strength to keep going—and how she’s going to make her show, her legacy, into the kind of thing that actually reflects who she is and what she values. Because we know that’s going to be what finally lets them succeed.

A couple quick delights: the stairwell scene, my beloved – we’ve been waiting for this, and it’s just as fun and sweet (without being saccharine) as I had hoped it would be <3

Even thought it was brief, I loved seeing Marcus - he seems so happy, and that's everything I wanted for him

Ava's book present is 100% the vibe I bring to the function (the function being all children's birthday parties)

But ya know I can't end without some kind of more critical note: I know a lot of the cast and creators talked about Julianne Nicholson as their favorite character this season, but I’m growing tired fast – don’t get me wrong, she can be fun to see, but at this point, it’s pretty clear she’s just here to give Jimmy and Kayla more to do on screen to justify the shift in narrative focus to include them as more major players (more on that in my ep. 8 notes), and it’s just…falling flat. Were this a 22-episode season kind of show, it might be different, but even with the slight increase to 10 episodes, this is a tight ship to run if you want believable character arcs scaled to the point JPL seem to want to exist at, and stuff like Dance Mom makes it baggy while taking away room for what we need to see

[ofmdrecaps]

02/01-04/2025 Daily OFMD REcap

TLDR; Happy Belated Birthday Samba! Rhys Darby; Vico Ortiz; Ruibo Qian; Anapela Polata'ivao; OFMD Craft Fair; TellTale TV Voting; Fan Spotlight: Gay Pirate News Hours; Love Notes;

= Samba Schutte's Birthday! =

Happy belated birthday to our beloved Roach (2/1)!

Source: Samba's IG

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys was out with Rosie and Buttons at the Love Hurts World Premiere!

Source: Rosie's Instagram

Source: Getty Images via Moosh

Rhys was back on Substack with a silly video he did with Buttons with a Banksy art piece!

Source: Rhys' Paid Substack

Episode #103: The Oarfish Issue is up on Spotify!

Source: Rhys' Instagram Stories

If you're in Brisbane, Australia there's an extra show that's been added to Rhys' lineup! Check it out here!

Source: Rhys' Instagram Stories

= Vico Ortiz =

Full interview with That Part With Mo Heart featuring Vico is up on youtube!

Source: Vico's Bsky

Also a new episode of the Today In Gay Podcast!

Source: Today In Gay's Substack

= Ruibo Qian =

Our dear Pirate Queen shared some pictures from her childhood and other wonderful memories!

Source: Ruibo's IG / 2

= Anapela Polata'ivao =

A quick preview of the Tinā film!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @tinathefilm

Source: Tina The Film IG

= Hugo Pierre Martin =

New episode of The Diaries of Netovicius the Vampire! https://www.netovampire.com/

Source: Hugo's Bsky

== OFMD Craft Fair ==

Are you crafty and wanna donate to the #OFMDCraftFair? Our friend @veeagainsttheday has posted some helpful info (sorry for the lateness of this) 02/10 is the last day for creators to sign up! Learn more on the craft fair's carrd or post here:

Source: Veeagainsttheday's Tumblr

== Tell Tale TV Voting ==

It does require an email sign up, but you can submit the couples you love the most! Let's get Ed and Stede some love!

https://telltaletv.com/2025/02/nominate-your-favorite-tv-couples-from-the-past-25-years/

Source: Adopt Our Crew Bsky

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Gay Pirate News Hour =

New episode of Gay Pirate News Hour aired on Feb 1!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Youtube

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. We're coming up on a new week here soon. I know the past few have been doozies. Something I wanted to remind you of tonight... is just how fucking powerful you are.

You continue to get through every goddamn day like a fucking champ. Whether you are crying or sleeping or busting ass, you are still here and I am so damn proud of you.

You mean something. You matter, and you would be surprised how much you can survive when you have to.

So no matter what, you keep going, okay? If you need to take some time off, if you need to rest, or reach out for help-- do it, do what you need to do. If you feel unsafe, reach out, there are a lot of groups out there who can help.

We love you, we want you to be happy, and be yourself, and most of all we want you to be safe.

You are made of love, and kindness, and that is so much stronger than any hate thrown your way.

You are beautiful. Don't forget that.

Source: The Latest Kate's bsky

Source: Illustory Bsky

[justdarklr]

In Stars And Time: Providence

An In Stars And Time x Persona AU

Created and Written by JustDarklr, Co-Created by mizzle-moths

Card I – Providential

Spoilers for In Stars And Time below the cut! Go play the game before reading!

Table Of Contents —

Card I — Providential ( Reading Now )

Card II — Awake

You… have trouble believing this is the end of your journey. You should recap everything in your head real quick. Just to make sure you remember everything, mostly. Your memory’s never been that good, after all.

It was almost a year ago now that The King appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Possessing immense Craft Power, he did something never heard of before— he spread his Curse across the country of Vaugarde, freezing in time everything in its path. With Dormont’s House of Change under his control, he patiently waits, for he knows his Curse can only be undone if he is defeated.

His victory would be all but determined, if not for The Housemaiden, Mirabelle. She is the only survivor of the House of Dormont, in which the King froze everyone inside in time and locked the gates. Everyone says she was blessed by the Change God themselves with the power to fight back the King’s Curse… which makes her the only one able to save Vaugarde, bound by her destiny.

When you met her, she had already been traveling with The Fighter, Isabeau, and The Researcher, Odile. They were trying to get the orbs necessary to open the House’s gates and defeat the King. You helped them defeat a rather strong Shadow, and, seeing your strength, they asked for your help. You… had nothing better to do, so you decided to accompany them!

Shadows are… a manifestation of grief, or something. You never researched them, but Odile seemed to know a bit about them, so you just took what she’s said at face value. They usually take the shape of figures from old Mythology or works of Fiction, though how they know of those forms is unknown. Some speculate that these Shadows had once been people, and they take the form of whatever they had the most attachment to in life upon their turning, but that theory has never been proven, supposedly. Either way, they’re a bit of a nuisance.

Anyways— a few weeks later, you met The Kid, Bonnie. Meeting them completed your little ragtag team of heroes. Though, Bonnie is mostly just your snack master. That doesn’t make them any less important, however!

You saw a lot of Vaugardian cities during your travels. Some frozen, some not, and you’ve done your best to sidestep the slowly encroaching Curse. Even still, though… you all kept going.

Mirabelle kept going to honor the Change God’s blessing, save her beloved house, and save Vaugarde. She didn’t have any other choice, after all— she is the only one who can.

Isabeau came with her after Vaugarde’s Defenders themselves refused to help. A bunch of cowards, probably.

Odile came to satisfy her curiosity about Vaugarde. She’s from another country, which makes sense, and she’s supposedly here to research… whatever she’s researching. … and because, in her words, “leaving the fate of a country to a bunch of young ones would give me an ulcer”.

Bonnie came to save their sister, frozen by the Curse. You worry about them, sometimes.

… you’re here because there’s nothing else for you to do. What else are you supposed to do except travel with them?

Once… Mirabelle asked if you were okay, following them on a journey to save the country. She felt guilty, like she was forcing everyone to follow her on a hopeless quest.

You wanted to put her at ease, so you said easily and truthfully that traveling with everyone was the happiest you could remember being. She… looked upset.

You cringe just thinking about it, honestly. Probably not the most considerate thing you could’ve said to someone with her problems at that moment!

But… tomorrow, one way or another, your journey will come to an end.

You tell everyone as you arrive that you’re tired, and you’re going to go find someplace to nap. They nod, and you’re off.

But… before you do, you have a stop to make. Just for some peace of mind. So, you head towards the favor tree on the west side of town.

… this tree is said to grant wishes. You’re not too sure about that, but… you may as well, right? You heard everyone else was going to, anyways. And, who knows, maybe it’ll come true?

You try to rack your brain for something to wish for. After a moment, something pops into your head. You’ve heard Isabeau mention something in passing before, haven’t you? That he wants to be a clothing designer, you think. That seems like a good wish to make. And, who knows, maybe it’ll help his dream come true, too.

You take a leaf from the favor tree, and whisper your desire into it three times.

“… I wish to be able to wear clothes Isabeau has made.”

… you pause, for a moment. And then whisper something else into the leaf, in addition to your first wish.

“I want to stay with them.”

This journey has been the most fun you can ever remember having. You… you love them. Your party. You’ve made such good friends on this journey, and you want to stay with them. Who wouldn’t? They’re your friends, after all…

You then fold the leaf over, and let it drift back into the shadow of the tree. You have a good feeling about that!

Afterwards, you get a move on. You find a clearing near the south side of town, slowly crouching down and splaying yourself across the soft grass. Feels just like a soft bed, you think. You haven’t slept in one for who knows how long. It’s just been sleeping bags, mostly. As you close your eyes, you feel yourself drifting off to sleep nearly instantly. You didn’t realize how tired you were…

… you dream of a strange room, covered in strange shades, with a strange man sitting in the middle of it. What is this place? You feel yourself walking forward, standing in front of the strange man’s desk, as he opens his mouth to speak.

“Well, isn’t this surprising? A brand new guest, and one with quite an intriguing fate at that. I wasn’t expecting anyone for some time now.”

You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off.

“Ah-ah. I apologize, but I will have to make this quick. Your nap is going to be rather short, after all.”

The man clears his throat, then places his hands on his desk, interlocking his fingers. You want to ask what he means about attendants, but you can’t get any words in before he starts speaking once more.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room. My name is Igor… I am delighted to make your acquaintance. This is the space between dream and reality, mind and matter. It is a space only those who are bound by a ‘contract’ may enter. And it seems that such a fate has already befallen you, even without your knowledge.”

What? But you don’t remember signing any contract. You… you could have, though. Maybe you’ve just forgotten. Maybe it was that insignificant in your mind.

“Now then… why don’t you introduce yourself?”

Finally, a chance to speak. You open your mouth once again, ready to belt out all the questions you have— but instead, all you’re able to say is your name. “Siffrin.”

“… Siffrin. No middle name, no last name. Is that correct?”

You nod. Stars, that’s annoying. Why can’t you talk? Dream logic, or something?? Ugh, this dream sucks.

“I see. An interesting name, but I suppose it is one befitting of one surrounded by as much mystery as you. Now then… why don’t we take a look into your future?”

A set of tarot cards appear on the man’s desk. He flips one over, and examines it closely.

“Ah… I see. The tower, in the reversed position. This card represents resistance to change, and the delaying of the inevitable…”

He flips another card over. You already don’t like this.

“The star, in the reversed position. A card representative of despair… I see.”

He flips one last card over. This has to be fake, right? It’s just a dream, without any meaning. You’re sure of it.

“… Judgement, in the upright position, representing reflection, and rebirth.”

The tarot cards disappear, and the man smiles at you. Like he has been, this entire time. Stars, you haven’t really gotten a good look at this guy— you’ve been kind of out of it, but something is off about him. His skin isn’t lightless or darkless, nor a shade inbetween, his smile never seems to falter, and his nose is far too long to be normal. Who is this man? … Well, you suppose you know the answer. ‘Igor’. A strange man, in a strange room, in a strange dream. That sums up this situation rather well, you suppose.

“It seems you will face a great trial in the near future. One in which you resist oncoming time, and face despair and hopelessness because of it.

But fear not. You will overcome this trial through reflection, and in the end, you will face rebirth. A new day to come. Yet, if you fail to overcome this trial, you may be forever lost. My duty is to provide assistance to our guests to ensure that does not happen.”

Your head hurts. This is a lot to take in at once.

“I would like to introduce my assistant to you, but it seems they’re not here as of yet. They’re late. But they will be here soon enough to accompany you throughout this perilous journey.

We shall attend to the finer details another time. Until then, farewell…”

Your vision faces to black, and…

You reawaken in the field to someone calling your name. Your head hurts from that dream. Too many weird shades to take in… but at least you’re back in your lightless and darkless world, now. Normalcy. That’s what you need right now.

… who’s calling your name?

CARD I — END

Next Card ~ Awake

[youkaigakkou-tl]

The TRUTH behind the soul pieces

Preamble: I started writing this expecting nothing, but I actually found something??? not clickbait???? gone right???

Warning: the expected reaction of reading this is “damn. I’ve never seen someone grasp harder at straws” and “I dunno about this one chief”

So. "The soul pieces aren't exactly what we're told they are" is an idea I've had for a while now. (I wouldn’t even call it a theory, it’s just a passing thought.) Not that "they're manifestations of Haruaki's traits" is wrong, but I think there's more to them than immediately obvious. I just haven't talked about this much because even I don't fully buy into it and it kinda verges on horoscope-type confirmation bias territory. It’s kind of a, I THINK there’s more to it but I don’t know what exactly is more.

A brief recap

First one shown is his "worldly desires", animal trio vs Seiryuu.

Second is his "freak athleticism", that Kurahashi's team and Ebisu just ran into.

With just these two he runs off to find Sano

Third is his "cowardice", found by Sano's team and Byakko, which gets away and hides in Sano's pocket.

Fourth is his "memory", originally found by Hijita's team and Genbu, which gets picked up by Genbu and then the whole Heian flashback happens.

And last is his "intelligence", which for some reason is also the one that can use his exorcism power.

So immediately a couple details stood out to me.

Why is "memory" here?? I wouldn't call that a trait exactly??

Also, when it first broke apart and flew off in five directions, it's specifically pointed out that it's "like a five pointed star" (even though it's not really if you look at the actual locations on a map lol)

And the sticking point, if it was as clean and simple a split as “Haruaki’s traits”, why do the traits bleed into each other? “Athleticism” is into sailor uniforms too, and “Cowardice” and “Intelligence” are pretty quick by themselves. Also, even without his “Memory” at the time, he remembered that conversation with Seimei in ch87.

The five pointed star detail, considering everything in the arc heavily relates to the Four Gods and Seimei's star, which relates to Wuxing, almost begs to be referencing that too.

What is Wuxing?

Wuxing, five elements, five phases, gogyo, whatever other name for it: I’ve talked about it briefly in my Kyoto arc analysis

(Wait. Is this actually all I mentioned regarding Wuxing in that analysis???? This tells you nothing!!)

(Tbh I think I had a longer explanation about it but I cut it because I thought it was irrelevant)

Wuxing 五行, roughly translated as five elements or phases, is a concept that comes from Taoism. The five elements are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water and describes the interactions between them. Here’s the wikipedia page if you really want to get into the details.

The “xing” means movements/moving, and the entire concept of Wuxing comes from the five classical planets’ (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) movements affecting… things? In general? (It’s horoscopes)

In fact, the names of those five planets in Chinese and Japanese are tied with the Wuxing:

Mercury = 水星 water star

Venus = 金星 metal/gold star

Mars = 火星 fire star

Jupiter = 木星 wood star

Saturn = 土星 earth star

You’re taught these as a kid but not the reasoning behind it (because it’s hella irrelevant lmao) but I guess it kinda makes instinctual sense? (Venus = yellow, Mars = red, Jupiter = stripes, like tree rings?? Saturn = brown. Mercury = it looks like there’s rivers? idk how much detail they were seeing in the BC times)

And just to sate curiosity, the planets that were discovered after telescopes were invented are just based off the English names

Uranus = 天王星 sky god star

Neptune = 海王星 sea god star

Pluto = 冥王星 underworld god star

By the way, this is also why the days of the week are named after elements in Japanese; it’s not actually the elements, rather it’s referring to the celestial bodies: those 5 planets + the moon and the sun. It’s the classical Chinese system that Japan adopted around the 5th century AD, and they haven’t changed it since then. (Chinese uses stuff like “weekday 1” for monday now.) And China itself adopted the Greco-Roman system of the 7 day week, days named after celestial bodies around the 4th century AD, which is also why the planets and days line up if you look at the English and Japanese names now.

Would be crazy if they independently decided to have 7 days in a week and name days after celestial bodies and assigned the same planets to the days huh.

(Also, TIL from looking at this chart that the sun (taiyang) is indeed called that because it’s the “great yang star”, and the moon is called the “great yin star”, you know, like yin-yang)

I’m remembering why it’s so hard to research and write about this stuff now. Everything is so inextricably connected to everything else its hard to talk about one thing in isolation. Thanks for indulging my astronomy tangent I love astronomy.

(I always got saturn on da mind when I think about Seimei cus of this art…)

The only useful part of this essay

So. Wuxing. Here’s a pretty standard diagram of it so it’s easier to visualise

There are five types of processes Wuxing describes:

Generating: Wood feeds fire

The reverse side of generating: Fire burns wood

Regulating: Wood grasps earth

Excessive regulating (destruction): Wood depletes earth

The reverse side of regulation (exhaustion): Earth rots wood

And here’s a full list of it, from wikipedia

With this in mind, you’ll notice that it pops up all over the place in Kyoto arc!

If we take lightning as aligned with metal (because Byakko = metal = lightning user), this is the regulating interaction of metal -> wood

Metal cuts wood, but wood also dulls metal

Water… nourishing wood….???

Water destabilizes earth

(“This is just pokemon lol” WRONG!! Pokemon types and every other element system in videogames came from Wuxing!! (Or Godai))

Back to the soul pieces

So you see, it’s incredibly tempting to connect the five soul pieces with the five elements of Wuxing. It’s basically begging for it. The Wuxing has been associated with lots of things that come in sets of five, including things like senses, tastes, smells, emotions, mental qualities, periods of one’s life, body parts. It has applications in divination and traditional chinese medicine after all. If there was a clear, 1-to-1 match between the soul pieces and the elements, you bet I would have talked about it more by now. But the connections are tenuous at best, and even I don’t really believe it. They might, probably, just be the traits we’re told they are. So this really is just to humor myself, and maybe someone can glean something more from this.

Let’s lay out the things surrounding the soul pieces:

“Desires” was at Arashiyama (a bamboo forest) and Seiryuu was present, both associated with Wood

“Athleticism” was at Ginkaku-ji (silver pavilion), none of the four gods were present, no obvious element associations here.

“Cowardice” was at Mount Kurama (mountain = earth?), Byakko was present (metal?)

“Memory” was at Kiyomizu-dera (clear water temple), and Genbu was present, water association

“Intelligence” was at Kinkaku-ji (gold pavilion), and none of the four gods were present initially. (gold = metal?)

The other thing I’ve yet to mention is all the soul pieces seem to be of different points in Haruaki’s life. (Well. Four of them at least.)

“Desires” and “Athletics” seem to look and act younger (as much as you can tell with chibis…), both wearing simple t-shirts, and “Athletics” t-shirt and shorts look like what Haruaki wore as a kid in the Miki arc flashback. Adding on to that, we’re constantly told how into sailor uniforms Haruaki was as a little kid (literally whenever his childhood gets brought up: Mamaaki talking about it in ch8, him saying his first cry as a newborn was “sailor uniform” in ch43, the ch51.5 extra) (ok to be fair. his sailor uniform fetish gets brought up at every opportunity. but i feel like it’s Pretty emphasized here) Also I feel like “Desires” especially talks like a kid.

Meanwhile “Cowardice” and “Memory” are dressed the way he currently does, and “Cowardice” seems to parallel the way Haruaki was at the start of the series. It’s Sano’s team that runs into him, he acts like how Haruaki did early on just amped way up, and he ends up hiding on Sano.

IQ-kun… still don’t know what to make of him and how he fits into this lol

Put like this, doesn’t it almost seem like, in the order they appear, they represent points in Haruaki’s life too?

Or, this could all be nothing, because they’re all wearing the same thing in the jacket for Volume 14.

So anyway, from this angle, it seems like Desires and Athletics line up fairly cleanly with Wood and Fire respectively, but Cowardice, Memory and Intelligence are a little murkier. Cowardice only somewhat lines up with Earth, and both Memory and Intelligence could align with Water, while Memory could also be Metal. (I dropped the quotation marks bc they were getting distracting)

Here’s a diagram to illustrate.

(See it’s kinda, pick-and-choosey, horoscope-type shit)

Immediately a couple problems arise. First and most majorly is the horoscopey-ness of it all. And then there’s the matter that, if the four gods represent four out of five of the elements and earth is the outlier, wouldn’t it also make sense if IQ-kun as the outlier would be assigned that?

There’s also the possibility that the first four are a set, and IQ-kun makes up the “yin” to the rest of Haruaki’s “yang” (But then what would the first four correspond to individually? idk….)

We’re getting nowhere with this analogy, so let’s look at some adjacent philosophies in sets of five, just for fun, and see if they line up any better.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

This one is the most related to Wuxing, there are five main “organs” in TCM that have associated Wuxing elements. They might be called the same names as the anatomical organs, but they’re actually more like concepts only roughly correlated with locations on the body. This is stuff codified thousands of years ago before modern knowledge of the human body, mind you.

Heart (fire): stores the “aggregate soul” (the mind)

Spleen (earth): governs transportation of qi and blood, and governs muscles and limbs

Lung (metal): stores the “po 魄” (physical soul)

Kidney (water): responsible for willpower or fear

Liver (wood): governs free flow of qi, blood and emotions. Stores blood, which stores the “hun 魂” (ethereal soul)

(The wikipedia page I linked has more in depth descriptions)

And if we sorta line up the attributes…

Desires = Liver/wood

Athleticism = Spleen/earth

Cowardice = Kidney/water

Memory = Lung/metal

Intelligence = Heart/fire

Something like this? It doesn’t line up particularly nicely either, and certainly doesn’t line up with the first theory…

But reading up on this actually brought something useful to my attention: the concept of “hun” and “po”

See, there’s this Chinese compound word “hun po 魂魄” that generally just means “soul”, but if you get really semantic they’re two different types of souls?

The “hun” is the yang-aligned “ethereal soul” typically understood as the wits/mind of a person, whatever constitutes the personality, and is the part of the soul that leaves the body on death.

The “po” is the yin-aligned “physical soul”, sometimes described as the “baser animal spirit” of a person, and is attached to the body.

This could explain why Haruaki’s soul is also Seimei’s soul, but also Seimei is in the underworld?

This scene I got real hung up about in my Kyoto arc post?

It lining up and being a reasonable explanation is one thing, but whether sensei is deliberately referencing a property of Chinese linguistics that doesn’t have an equivalent in Japanese kanji is another thing. And honestly, I could see Tanaka “I’ll have to read up on Chinese history, but off the top of my head Byakko and Seiryuu are from 4000BC and Suzaku and Genbu are younger” Mai could and would do it. (Good god, what I wouldn’t give to see sensei’s notes. Yohaji fanbook explaining every cultural reference PLEASEEEE IM BEGGINGGG)

Godai

Godai (“the five great (elements)”), while also a thing with five elements that features prominently in Japanese culture, differs from Wuxing in that it originates from the concept of Mahābhūta in Indian Buddhism, and features Fire, Water, Earth, Wind and Void. It’s a more inert definition and describes the elements as building blocks, contrasting with Wuxing which is more concerned with the balancing and interaction between the elements and the changes they cause in each other.

Godai also isn’t ever depicted as a star (and Wuxing is only depicted as a star as a byproduct of all the arrows denoting the interactions, sometimes the 5 elements are arranged like the 5 side of a dice with lines connecting everything) and is typically depicted as a Gorinto, a stone structure.

In order from top to bottom, it goes Void, Wind, Fire, Water, Earth, and represents the structure of the universe in Buddhism.

So. Attributes and if they line up any better.

Earth: unmoving, stability

Water: fluidity, adaptability, motion

Fire: passion, power, energy

Wind: growth, freedom

Void: the spirit? thought? there’s not really a clear description of this one. To begin with, originally in Buddhism, it’s just said that “from void emerged air, from air emerged fire, (etc)”

I could see wind = Memory and void = Intelligence, but the rest… I dunno man

The five aggregates in Buddhism

And now, following the thread back from Godai, to the Buddhist concept of Skandhas, or the “five aggregates of clinging”, described as the five factors that make up a sentient being’s personality. (Hey, this sounds like it could be onto something here!)

The five aggregates are:

Form or matter: the material form of a person

Sensation or feeling: the five senses + intellectual sensation, and the feelings that occur whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral

Perception: cognition and recognizing what has been previously noted

Mental formations: dispositions, or something that motivates a person to take action (or sometimes described as the influences of a previous life?!)

Consciousness: cognizance, or the base that supports experience, sometimes translated as mind, intelligence or life force

Wait… This kinda… lines up…? No way…?

Form = Athleticism

Sensation = Cowardice

Perception = Memory

Mental formations = Desires

Consciousness = Intelligence

This… kinda works? They all basically line up and it’s not too tenuous, and there’s enough matching details in the descriptions of the five aggregates that it’s kinda scary…?

I’ll be real, prior to writing this section I hadn’t actually read the descriptions of each of them too carefully (I had the tab open and roughly noted the descriptions kinda worked) and I entirely expected to end this essay with a “in conclusion: no conclusion i learned nothing lol” but there’s actually something here????

And Tanaka Mai is known to reference Buddhism a lot, so this could entirely be intentional…??? I’m kinda shaken rn tbh

I mean, I guess I should have looked to Buddhism first considering sensei’s track record, what with how the arc opened with Haruaki getting put under a waterfall to get rid of his worldly desires, and how 3 out of 5 locations were Buddhist temples, but Buddhism concepts usually use their Sanskrit names and I don’t know how to google for that… (making excuses. classic)

Um. Hope you enjoyed reading this and that you learned something? Here’s all the relevant wikipedia pages if you want to go down your own rabbit hole:

Wuxing (Chinese five elements)

Godai (Japanese Buddhism five elements)

Mahābhūta (Indian Buddhism five elements)

Hun and po (two concepts of souls)

Skandha (five aggregates that make up a person)

Twelve Nidanas (didn’t mention this one, but it’s related to skandhas)

If you read all this you should read all my other long rambly things too if you haven’t, they’re all under the #rambles tag 👍