Update on my mental health: I am doing better! Just in case anyone read those concerning posts the past few weeks and was worried.
I have kinda long-winded advice sorta shit under the cut if you are thinking of top surgery but know you don’t deal w/ change well, or have got it but are wondering why you still feel like shit weeks later when everyone else seems to feel better. And then some more rambling in the tags if you’re into that sorta thing.
Oh boy it’s long under the cut… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Some advice: if you have a hard time w/ big change, small change, any kind of change. Be prepared to have a hard time w/ top surgery recovery. The general consensus if you research it is that post-op depression is over by abt the fourth week, and that is actually deemed late by some sources. Many said the second or third week. If you are starting to feel worse after that point it does not mean you made a mistake! Don’t panic!
Even though I wrote several notes to myself before the procedure explaining that I did in fact want this, and I know I am bad w/ change, that did not help me when I was in the pits of a doom spiral. I’m ngl that was genuinely the worst I’ve been mentally in years. I had to ring a suicide hotline at one point because I thought I’d lost the point of life. Talk to someone you trust abt how you’re feeling. I just straight up sobbed into my mum’s shoulder abt how I didn’t understand anything anymore and I was terrified I’d made a mistake getting surgery. She talked me through it and reminded me that I’d wanted this for years, that I didn’t go outside w/out a binder on, etc. She reminded me that everyone deals w/ things at different times, just because most ppl feel perfectly fine by the one month mark it doesn’t mean I would. Then after that I just hung out w/ her. The day after that we went and did some chores outside the house. A little time outside is often a good idea, I do regret to inform you.
I’m not gonna say I’m all fixed and perfect now. I’m still low energy and back to hiding in my baggy hoodies (now I can get them on again yippee!!!) but I’m not pushing myself rn. And I wish I had some good advice other than idk have a good system of loved-ones. If you have a therapist talk to them. Don’t be like me and bottle shit up. I’m so good at bottling shit up that I do not notice smthn is getting bad until I’m at the very bottom of the fucking doom spiral and I look up and see how far I fell down it lmao.
I wrote a whole diff paragraph but deleted it. Better version though is just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Surgery is exhausting, and feeling burned-out even after a month isn’t smthn to be ashamed of. Just focus on keeping yourself sane. If possible take it easy, do things half-assed and low-effort for a while if you can get away w/ it. Just while you mentally catch up to your new stuff.
For some ppl top surgery “fixes” all their problems, but for most it does not. Whatever mental or physical problems you had before surgery, you will still have. Now, my surgeon literally told me surgery would not fix everything. I knew this before going into this, before I even had my first conversation with him, and I still had a bad fucking time mentally. So don’t expect to feel perfect. I was in a weird surreal bubble for the first like 3(?) weeks where I was just physically recovering before my head fucking lost it.
I don’t wanna put anyone off, and tbh worrying abt how bad you’re gonna feel can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I just wanna say that it can get rough. But if it does, you are not alone!!! You’ve not ruined your life, it’s not the end of the world, you still have something to live for. Keep pushing through, take it slow, talk to someone you trust. Try to do things that comfort you and help you feel safe. You’re gonna get through it.
Idk man I just wanted to share my experience on this. Because in my frantic research from the bottom of the pit all I could see were smiling faces saying they felt the best they’d ever felt in their life. It was euphoria all day every day. And the only ppl who weren’t feeling perfect were the ppl unhappy w/ their results. But the thing is I love my results, everything looks as expected. It’s literally how I drew it lmao, couldn’t have gone better. Not to brag sorry. But the point was, nothing was wrong physically. The majority of the physical healing was done, but my brain hadn’t been healing at all during that time. It was just putting itself to the side while the body did it’s thing. And when even proper medical sources are saying that ppl usually start to feel mentally better after the fourth week, and I was actually starting to feel shitty by that point, it rlly made me worry smthn was wrong. I was frantically trying to blame something for what I was feeling. And it was likely a whole mess of shit, with the main culprit being my inability to process change. Dude I freak out when a loved-one gets a tattoo or a piercing or changes their fucking hair. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. It stresses me out. And although I always get over it eventually, I should’ve known that this was gonna happen. After those early weeks of the itchy haze, I totally should’ve known a mental spiral was on the horizon. But I was just so lost in the sauce that was the whole experience.
I would not change the experience of top surgery for the world. I only wish I’d been more prepared for the dive my mental health would take so late in the game. I expected post-op depression. But as I said that’s usually only in the first couple of weeks. So when it didn’t happen I thought I was okay. But oooooo boy. I forgot how slow my brain is at processing shit. And hey, if I did “make a mistake” in getting my tits chopped off. If in the future I’m like “Hey I’m a woman now!” then so fucking what. There are titless women out there, and they’re no less woman than a woman w/ tits so big they break her back. Life is for living so fucking do that. I’ve not butchered or ruined my body even if my gender does change in the future. Get rekt transphobes.
ANYWAY… I think I’ve rambled enough. If I remember smthn I’ll prob add it in a RB cos this post is already long enough now. Thank fuck for the “read more” function. So I can hide all my stupid mushy shit under here and not clog up someone’s dash. Yippee!!
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SAFE PLACE
hello everyone! i am back :) i have recently fell down the kate martin hole ( if you couldnt tell already) and decided to write. i have been working super hard in clinics and classes since you last heard from me, so i hope this isn't too rusty! love you guys!
warning: fingering (r receiving), oral (r receiving), making out, nipple play
i think that's it? let me know!
my divider is from here!
as i sat in my car with tears rolling down my face, i didn’t know who to call. the rain was pouring, a perfect parallel to the emotions flowing through my body. my vision blurred and my tears welled just thinking about it.
i had just been on a date. needless to say, it did not go well. i had been continuously let down by every man i deemed well enough for my attention. i guess i was just bad at picking ‘em out.
it always ended the same way.
“wanna come to my place?”
“dtf?”
“ohhh cmon. don’t be a prude.”
i couldn’t even gather my thoughts about the night as i scrolled through my contacts list. i was searching for somebody - anybody- that could provide me with any sort of comfort. however, i knew there was only one person who could make me feel better.
kate martin.
as much as i hated to say it, the girl had a comforting aura around her. something about her just drew me in every single time. imagine a bee to a flower or a moth to a flame - that was kate and me.
our past was patchy, the ups and downs of our so-called “friendship” had blurred the lines for boundaries too easily. whether we’d end up making out, staying over, or doing much worse, each time would end with one of us being heartbroken.
but i didn’t care right now.
i needed her scent and her eyes. i needed her hands and i needed her mouth.
i needed kate.
my fingertips scrolled relentlessly to the bottom of my text messages, finding the abandoned chat from a month or two ago.
tears splattered on my phone as i pressed the call button and brought it to my ear.
it rang once.
it rang twice.
it rang three times.
“hello?” kate answers.
“hey. kate im so sorry for calling you but i-,“ i stopped as tears continued to flow down my face.
“you know my address. just come on over. it’s just me here.”
god kate, i could kiss you.
“thank you,” i whispered.
i hung up the phone and placed my forehead on the steering wheel. thoughts of another night with kate kept creeping into my mind. the good ones and the bad ones.
nonetheless, i put my car and drive and headed her way.
every time i thought the tears were done, another pool of them welled in my eyes. every time i thought about my past few dates, my heart felt a pang of sadness.
i tried to push the tears and thoughts away as i reach kate’s apartment door, but my pathetically light knocking reminded me of how sad i really was.
i stood in front of her door for a few seconds, trying to keep it together until i was in the comfort of her home.
i heard the lock clicking and the door opened. kate stood there, worry filling her eyes and her face full of pity.
i looked up at her, letting the tears fall down my cheeks as she pulled me into her apartment and engulfed me in a hug. her arms squeezed around my waist as mine wrapped around the back of her neck. i cried into her, tears staining her iowa t shirt.
“im so sorry for calling you,” i sobbed, backing out of her embrace. i wiped my eyes with my hands, trying any attempt to get rid of the nonstop tears.
“i know we said we’d never do this again. i’m so sorry i just didn’t know who else to call-“ i was cut short as kate held my face and gently kissed me.
i placed my hands on her waist, my body savoring everything about her. the kiss was soft and sweet, full of love. there was no hunger or sinister desire about it - just pure comfort and affection.
my eyes fluttered open as she moved back, her thumb wiping a falling tear off my cheek.
she gently smiled and looked at me with her bright blue eyes.
“you and i both know that we need each other more than we let on,” she said, sighing.
i leaned into her hand, my heart finally feeling at ease. she stroked my face with her thumb before pulling me into another hug and kissing me lovingly on my head.
she led me over to her couch with her hand on the small of my back.
“before i ask you to be my girlfriend, tell me all about the horrible date you went on.”
i paused, stopping in my tracks. kate turned me to face her, her hands moving to my hips. she smiled at me before speaking again.
“i know things have been rough between us ; on both ends.”
her hands move to cup my face as she brings me closer.
“but i cant seem to get you off my mind. ever.”
now, i seemed to notice how good she looked. her hair was down, her eyes wide as she stared into my own.
i smiled up at her as tears kept falling from my eyes. she leaned in slowly and kissed me. the kiss was sweet. it was filled with love and care and tenderness, everything she felt in her heart.
all for me.
i kissed her back slowly, feeling the despair and sadness in my heart melt away. she was so warm, so comforting. her fingers slid into the back of my jean pockets as she breathed in through her nose.
my hands hesitantly wrapped around her neck, tangling in the roots of her hair.
then suddenly, she was everywhere. gripping my ass, attacking my mouth with her tongue and pulling my body impossibly closer to her.
i broke the kiss quickly, looking at her wide-eyed. was this really something that we should be doing?
i pushed the thought out of my head hurriedly, the impulsiveness of her actions sending heat straight between my legs. then, she leaned down and began to kiss me again. she gently put her hands on my waist and backed me into her room.
she flipped me around and pressed me against the door-shutting it. her hands were traveling everywhere fast. she was on my waist, my breasts, my ass, etc. you name it and she was there.
i gasped out quietly as she began to leave sloppy kisses on my neck. i leaned my neck back, allowing her more access. she grinned against my skin.
“no man,-” she panted.
“will ever,-” she said, her fingers tugging on the bottom seam of my shirt. she leans in to continue kissing me.
she pulls my shirt off smoothly, her fingers digging into the exposed skin on my waist,
“make you-“ she kisses me again.
“feel like-“
her hands reach around to the clasps of my bra, her mouth moving to my neck.
she takes my bra off effortlessly, the material falling to her floor along with my shirt.
‘-this.”
her eyes travel down to my breasts.
i reach for her shirt seam as well pulling it over her head, i notice her sports bra and her toned abdomen. my fingertips trace up the sides of her body and swear i felt my mouth watering.
as if something snapped in me, i push kate’s shoulders until her legs hit her bed and she sits down. i crawl on top of her, sitting in her lap.
“you’re so pretty, kate,” i whisper.
she smiles and brings her hand to the back of my head, pulling my lips to hers.
i open my mouth invitedly, her tongue slipping in and fighting for dominance with my own. the fight for control caused kate to moan in my mouth. her hips buck up against mine, the friction causing me to tug on her hair.
“you like that?” she whispers against my lips. our noses touch and i open my eyes, looking straight at her. i nod my head frantically, encouraging her to keep going. her hands grip my hips, holding me down against her thigh. she starts to move my body back and forth, grinding my body against her thigh.
the friction is enough to make me throw my head back, and i feel her grip me tighter.
“god you’re so perfect,” she whispers. then, she stands up and switches us so she’s on top of me.
she’s quickly unbuttoning my jeans, wasting no time on teasing.
“damn, kate. are you excited or what?” i ask, laughing.
she looks up at me, staring me in my eyes.
“i haven’t tasted you in months.”
i don’t respond, instead i lift my hips up so she can pull down my jeans and underwear. im completely naked under her, something she’s admitted she likes before.
she crawls up my body, my legs parting and wrapping around her as she leans down to kiss my breasts. she kitten licks one of my nipples, her other hand harshly groping the other breast. my back arches due to the pleasure, a pornographic moan escaping my lips.
i feel her teeth slightly graze my nipple again before she switches sides. i can practically feel myself pooling between my legs.
she slowly licks down my torso, stopping to give me kisses on my inner thighs. i can tell she’s leaving hickeys, another thing she likes to do.
“kate stop it,” i plead. i needed her now.
my hips bucked upwards, her hands aggressively holding me down as she placed a singular kiss on my pubic bone, then another on the spot where i needed her most.
i look down at her, her blue eyes already staring into mine. her tongue darted out, hardly grazing me.
i snap my head back, my thighs subconsciously trapping her head.
then, she moves one of her hands from around my thighs, and she slips a finger into me.
before i can even make a sound, she begins to eat me out and fuck me with her finger at the same time, adding a second.
i moaned her name, my face scrunching up with pleasure.
“kate ohmygod,” i breathed.
she moved her head from side to side, my pleasure increasing tenfold - if that was even possible.
she took my ankles and set them both on her shoulders, pulling me closer against her in the process. i knew she could tell i was close. she started moving faster and curling her fingers inside of me.
“kate please,” i begged. i didn’t even know what i was asking for. she felt so good.
i felt her hum against me, completely sending me over the edge. pleasure ripped through me as my stomach twitched as i came down from my high. her hands moved to my hips again, holding me down as she cleaned me up with her mouth.
i stayed laying flat on her bed as she crawled on top of me. she took her fingers and placed them in my mouth. i sucked on them, tasting myself.
she smiled wide and licked the mess off her lips.
“you wanna be my girlfriend?"
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Shots
summary: you’ve been best friends with jacaerys since you were children but due to his recent girlfriend you two have barely spent anytime together. You two are forced back into the same space when you attend cregan starks party and tensions rise
r.q: Nothing specific but please give more modern jace w smut. Your work is so gooddd 😩
w.c: 2k
c.w: porn with a little plot, a little angst, modern!college!cregan, modern!college!jace x reader, cregan the miracle worker, oral (f!receiving), protected sex (WRAP IT UP!), not proofread
a.n: i have a couple requests im supposed to get done before this but when i saw this in my inbox it wouldn't leave my mind 😭 love you guys hope you enjoy 🫶
You didnt want to come to this party tonight but cregan had practically begged you to come.
‘i dont know cregan.’ you had told him while walking out of your shared lab class. ‘oh come on itll be fun,’ he pauses and thinks for a moment before having a devious grin on his face. ‘if youre worried about it i promise you wont see jace. he said hes busy’ you eye him and he swears hes not lying so you shrug and tell him sure you’ll be there leading him to hug you before running off.
its not like you hated jacaerys, you couldnt the two of you are best friends. Well you're currently unsure of how the two of you stand, his current girlfriend seemed so determined to be rid of you and you didn't want to get in the way you backed off not wanting her to feel uncomfortable but its since left you feeling strange.
You should feel happy for him, he's found someone he seems to like but instead you’re left with a sharpness in your chest anytime you think about him and someone else. You like him. No maybe you love him but he clearly doesn't seem to like you like that so you can never tell him that. You're happy he isn't at this party and is busy doing whatever he’s doing. You decided you need to take your mind off him, you can keep yourself stuck in your head over this and you certainly cant be crushing on a taken man.
Now youre stuck talking with this guy, something Lannister you don't even know his name, but he seems more than eager to be talking with you and for that a part of you is grateful you didn’t have to work to hard to get a guys attention.
“Wheres the bathroom?” “Ill take you to one.” He grabs your hand harshly and begins to lead you to the staircase. You tug at the hand hes stuck holding and attempt to get him to let go telling him you dont need him to hold you. He says something about it just being quicker and you should just follow him. This rings alarms in your head and now your gripping the rail and forcefully trying to get out of his grip. “get the fuck off me!” “just shut the fuck up and come with me.”
“What the fuck do you think your doing man?” Your eyes widen in shock at his voice as the lannister scoffs at him, “just trying to take the lady to the restroom velaryon.” “she doesn't wanna go with you man let her go. and theres not a bathroom up there.” He walks up to the other guy and shoves him back his hand lets go of yours and with your new freedom and you quickly put a distance between you two. The lannister mumbles some shit under his breath and ends up walking upstairs alone, “she isnt even worth it.”
“are you okay?” jace quickly rushes back over to you and grabs your hand check it looking at you alarmed. “im okay thank you jace.” He lets out a sigh of relief and takes a step back running a hand through his hair. You just stare at him and your heart races, god hes so hot wearing just a pair of shorts and an open white button up with his whole chest out, the necklace you had given him for his birthday a couple years ago sits nicely on his chest, his hair is wet and even so is his chest leading you to realize he had been out in the pool. He was at this fucking party. Cregan that fucking asshole. “i thought you weren't coming.”
He tilts his head at you and shakes his head, “who told you that?” “Cregan.” He hums and turns away for a second mumbling some stuff under his breath you swear you hear something about cregan being an ass before turning back to you. “He must have gotten the dates mixed up.” All you can do is nod and play with your fingers, its awkward. You have never felt awkward around jace so this was different, of course your own feelings have to come around and ruin everything. While you look down at your hands you dont notice that hes just staring at you with a starry eyes. “You want a drink?”
You look up at him and you feel hot finally noticing his gaze on you, “sure.” The two of you make your way to the kitchen where you walk past cregan who gives you a wink as you walk by that fucking asshole, what was he even trying to do? As you watch jace you cant help yourself, “hows… oh whats her name?” you mumble the last part under your breath unable to even remember the poor girls name. He just hums and hands you a cup, “Claire? Oh we broke up.” you gasp and look at him shocked, “oh my god im so sorry.” he smiles at you and shakes his head easily tossing the shot into his mouth. “She cheated on me, you know that guy mason,” “the guy in the photography course?” “yeah with him,” “he looks like her cousin,” “thats because he is her cousin.” you gasp in horror on of you hands flying to cover your mouth as you try not to laugh.
He laughs, and makes a fist to cover his mouth, all you can think about is how beautiful he is, “You can laugh you know its funny.” with his permission you dub over with a laugh and shake your head, “thats unbelievable.” “imagine my shock!” “Im still sorry by the way, thats really shitty.” He continues to look out in the distance as he takes other shot, “its alright love i was gonna dump her anyway.”
You take a sip from your cup and just watch him, “why? thought you liked her?” For the first time in awhile he looks over at you and you take notice of the affectionate look in his eyes as he smiled softly at you. “i realized i liked somebody else.” “Ah.” you look away and you feel him move closer to you and grab you chin to look at him. “You wanna know who?” “Jace..” Hes standing so close you can smell his cologne, his hand leaves you chin and runs down your arm. “Ive known her for a long time but i only just realized how much i love her, I’ve been a fool.”
You kiss him, reaching your hands to cup his cheeks, he deepens the kiss his hands grabbing your waist to pull you closer to him pressing you directly against him. You dont know how long youve been standing there just kissing him, when you two pull away to take a breath you can hear a get a room from someone who walks by and you remember youre just standing in some random guys kitchen and press your head into his neck. “this is so embarrassing.” he just laughs and presses a kiss to the top of your head. “You wanna come back to mine?” His implications are very clear to you especially as you feel his hardness pressing against you, you nod.
Not even thirty minutes later he had you laid out bare on his bed, his mouth latched onto your clit leaving you desperately clinging onto his hair as you throw your head back, “jace.” he hums as he brings one of his hands down to play with your folds as his other stays firmly on your stomach pressing you down onto the mattress.
as you get closer your hands stray from his hair and fist the newly washed sheets under you as you continue to call out his name. you've been with a couple guys in the past but none pf them compared to how jace had been making you feel, none of them made you quiver and shake when you came like he did. he mouth finally detaches from you and he sits up looking at you while licking his lips. “That good?” You slap his chest and continue to take some deep breaths, “fuck you.” “i will i promise.”
His shirt and shorts had been thrown off somewhere, probably out laying in his hallway along with your clothes. He quickly slides a condom on before climbing on top of you so his necklace is dangling in front of you. “You good?” you nod at him and he kisses down your neck and leaves kisses all over your breasts. “Need you jace.”
“you need what baby?” you groan as you feel him push his dick between you fold lightly rubbing up and down. “Please jace.” “what is it? tell me and ill do anything for you.” He looks at you expectantly and you let out a strained moan as you begin to beg him, “please fuck me jace please please.” he hums happily and quickly readjusts himself, “You only needed to ask baby.”
You feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as he thrusts into you, as your hands grip his his back and running down it as he continues to thrust, thats definitely going to leave a mark. but based on the hiss and groans he lets out that tells you he likes it.
You swear youve never felt so good, he continues to hit the deepest and sweetest parts of you. He fucks you so fast and hard you're shocked the bed under you stays intact, he brings one of his hands down to your clit and your hands dig into his lower back and you cant help but press your head to his shoulder. “Jace fuck jace.” your mouth his muffled against his skin but he acknowledges you by bringing his lips to yours into a harsh kiss matching the thrusts of his hips. “Wanted this for so long jace.” he groans and you swear he somehow begins to move faster, “me too baby me too, now that i have you ill never let you go,” he licks at the sweat that has dripped his way to you neck and his hands move to grip your waist, “gonna fuck you everyday, i promise fuck best pussy in the world.”
You whimper at his words and your head is once against pressed against his shoulder, “im so close.” “cum for me baby please i need to feel it,” he hisses as he feels you bite into his shoulder and his eyes rolls back into head, “im right behind you fuck cum please.”
“i love you.” the words leave you easily as you cum. He cums at the sensation of you releasing, “fuck i love you.” leaving him twitching and still as he huffs and puffs, out of breath. he pulls out with a hiss and lets out an apology as he sees you wince, he climbs out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom, getting rid of his condom and coming back with a towel cleaning you and him up before climbing into bed next to you.
“fuck that was good.” the two of you laugh and you roll yourself to look at him. “did you mean it?” he hums and draws shapes on your stomach, “mean what?” “that you love me?” He looks at you with a dumbfounded look, “are you serious?” you rolls your eyes and try to turn away but he grabs you and pulls you close to him pressing your face against his chest, “of course i love you you idiot.” you smile and press a kiss on his chest before you fall asleep.
when you wake up the next morning and check you phone you see some text from cregan from last night.
‘saw you leave with jace just now 😁’
‘you’re welcome you bitch 🫶’
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not officially putting this as a request but do what you want with this 😂😂 i just think sana’s the type to be whiney asf when u tell her she can’t kiss u cause u’re wearing a cap and that she’d hit her head when she leans in sOooo as payback, she’d tell you that you can’t kiss her when she’s wearing specs because you’ll just bump your nose on the frame 😂😂😂😂
effervescent
synopsis: sana’s mad bcs you won’t let her kiss you when ur wearing a cap in public :(
warnings: puuuuure fluff + suggestive towards the end
w/c: 1.1k
a/n: its funny i actually had this exact thought the day before the anon sent this in but i couldnt say it bcs it wasnt long enough for a fic but then this came in and i went what da hell i can do a short lil piece ^,^
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
sana was an affectionate person. and an even more affectionate girlfriend. she absolutely loved clinging on to you, hugging you, kissing you, even in public she had no qualms with cuddling, being sickeningly in love, she loved it even more when you’d get embarrassed and shy, cooing at how cute you were, pinching your cheeks teasingly.
no matter where you where, if you were in her near vicinity, she’d find some way to get a hand on you, or slide into your lap, until you were sharing skin-to-skin contact she would refuse to leave you alone.
that also meant she would get pouty and adorably sad whenever you rejected her advances.
like now.
“baaaby gimme a kiss.”
“can’t baby i’m wearing a cap.”
“soooo? come hereee-“ she’s pulling you into her, craning her neck so she can kiss you but she knocks her head against the front of your cap, whining and pulling away immediately, cradling her forehead.
you giggle, “i told you baby.”
“just take off your cap then.” she’s pouting and looking up at you with a frown. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like teasing her to get her looking this adorable for you.
“no can do. we’re in public sweetie the paps will get us.”
“i don’t care about them!”
“well i do.” you boop her nose lovingly, internally squealing at the way her nose scrunches in response, “you will not be making headlines for making out with one of your fans in public.”
“you’re not my fan anymore! you’re my girlfriend now!”
“not to the public i’m not.”
“then we can come out as a couple.” she’s determined with her statement, a cute crease coming to rest between her eyebrows as she starts thinking around how to do exactly that.
“noo baby your company would never allow that. besides i’m fine being yours in private. and i wouldn’t want to jeopardise your career anyway. and before you can say i won’t- i will, i love you but your fans are kinda insane.”
sana pouts, “fine.” she stomps away not saying anything else but you know it’s fine because she’s still holding your hand and pulling you along even when she may be a little annoyed you won’t let her kiss you in public.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
"sana! i'm home!"
"okaeri!"
you slip off your shoes, padding into the living room where you heard your girlfriend's voice coming from, smiling at her in her reading glasses pouring over a set of papers spread on your coffee table.
"hi baby, what are you doing?"
"reading over these contracts the company sent. how was your day?"
"good. better now i'm home with you." you lean down to kiss her in greeting, but at the last second she turns her head so your lips land on her cheek.
you pout, bringing a hand up to her face to turn her back to you but she refuses, adamant on not looking at you.
"baby what's wrong?"
"nothing."
"something's wrong. did i do something? i swear i put my clothes in the laundry this morning."
"nothing's wrong."
you frown, crouching down fully to squat next to her. “if nothing’s wrong why won’t you kiss me?”
“i’m wearing specs.”
you’re silent for a second, “…okay…?”
“yeah.”
“um… are they new? i’m sorry if i didn’t notice. you look gorgeous whatever you’re wearing so i’m always stunned by you!” you try and joke with her but receive no reaction, coughing awkwardly and trying to cover up, “but they look nice!”
“thank you. they’re not new.”
“oh… right so…”
“i’m wearing specs. that’s why i won’t kiss you.”
“oh! wait why won’t you kiss me?”
she sighs, finally looking at you, “i told you. i’m wearing specs.”
“okay and? i’ve kissed you before while you’ve been wearing glasses.” you start to smile again, thinking she’s just teasing you, leaning in again but you’re shocked when she turns away with a huff, pushing her frames up her nose and picking up another page of paper.
“okay what the hell.” you snatch the papers out of her hand.
“hey!”
you ignore her protests. sliding into her lap and wrapping your hands around her neck, all while she still refuses to look at you or even touch you, her hands falling limp to her side after you take her papers away from her, then using them to lean back and away from you with a pout.
you can't have any of that so you pull on her neck gently, urging her forward.
"you're interrupting my work." she's got that slightly annoyed tone in her voice, but you know better.
"you're interrupting my kisses."
"i told you i'm wearing glasses so i can't kiss you right now. you'll bump your nose on the frame."
you frown, "no i won't."
"yes you will."
before she can react you lean in and steal a quick peck, breaking away with a giggle when she finally looks at you, only to gape at you in shock.
"y/n!"
"see? didn't bump my nose or anything."
"you weren't meant to kiss me!"
"why not?"
"because i didn't get to kiss you when you were wearing a cap so you don't get to kiss me when i'm wearing specs."
"wha- is that what this is about?"
"yes!"
you laugh, throwing your head back, still clinging on to her, "awwwh oh my god you really are a baby." you grin cheekily before dipping in again, stealing another kiss, then another, holding her face between your hands and pecking her all over her face, on her specs too while she whines and tries to push you off. "my baby." you finish with another kiss on her lips, giggling when you break away and have her chasing after you now to prolong your kiss.
"'m not a baby."
"yes you are."
"no i'm not."
"yes you are."
"no! i'm not!"
you laugh, letting her have it, patting her cheek affectionately that's now puffed out in a pout, "i'm sorry for not letting you kiss me while i was wearing a cap okay? you have full permission to do whatever you want to me next time i'm wearing one."
she raises an eyebrow, a smirk slowly appearing on her lips, "anything?"
you immediately become wary, shirking away from her but her hands come up to grip at your hips keeping you in her lap, "anything within reason of course."
"so if i can make riding your face in public sound reasonable... anything goes."
you snort, face immediately going bright red, “i don’t know how you could ever convince me to do that sana.”
“you’ll be surprised at how persuasive i can be then.” she’s grinning now, looking adorably innocent in her wide frame glasses and oversized sleep shirt but suggesting completely devilish things.
you groan, pushing away from her and out of her lap, but not before she laughs, pulling you in again and kissing you, no longer caring that she’s still wearing her glasses that now have your lipstick mark printed on them.
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im just thinking what if mike schmidt is the son of the movie's equivalent of henry emily. i had this thought on the way home from the movie at like. 10 pm so at the time it was incoherrent, but im going to expand on it here.
point 1- garrett played a similar role to charlie emily, in that despite being watched over they were both killed by william afton.
p2- in the flashbacks, its very obvious that the entire family is in a place away from society. they're literally in a forest. it wouldn't make sense for william of all people to be there if he wasn't close to the family.
p3- the books and the game mirror eachother, so there is a chance that schmidt could be another fake name, one william recognized because, again, he was a family friend.
p4-what happens when your kid goes missing? idk probaly witness protection or an urge to seperate yourself from the incident, both reasons for the name change.
p5-(kinds joke reason) abby rhymes with charlie and looks similar to her (brown hair, brown eyes)
p6-i argue that abby also took on the role of the puppet/charlie at the end of the movie. she didn't necessarily give them life, not like what was done in the game, she shoeed them how they died. she reminded the children of the life they had before, and of who really took it. by doing that, in a way, she gave them that life back. she gave them their real personality back, one not influenced by william. she cut them from his influence, she gave them the gift (the picture) and it gave them life (their memories)
p7- in the movie, mike says his father 'couldnt deal with it' and left after his mother died. yk what that sounds similar to? book henry emily killing himself in despair. maybe mike's dad is alive maybe he's dead, we dont know. but it is similar enough, an act of completely removing himself from the equation.
p8-book henry has a sister named jen, yk what name that sounds like? jane. who was mike and abby's aunt, and we dont know which parent she was related to.
p9-'but wouldn't mike know about the pizzaria if william was a family friend?' honestly, probably. but theres also a high chance that he wouldnt. if the family lived in nebraska, (which im pretty sure they did) they wouldn't have a need to go to utah, not even for a friend's restaurant. sure, he might know that his dad's friend had a restaurant, but not that it had animatronics or anything. the family probaly moved to utah after garrett's disappearance and after freddy's closed down.
p10-'wouldn't mike know vanessa? theyre similar in age' if they didnt live in the same state, probaly not. william in the movie was a, suprise suprise, shitty father, even foregoing the stabbing of his kid. i doubt hed care enough to take her with him on like. a short out of state trip.
p11(edit)- in the books aunt jane was killed by evil charlie to get to charlie, yk what that sounds like? the animatronics killing aunt jen to get to charlie
p12(edit)-the words at the end of the movie say 'come find me' and the music playong at the end is the puppets song so i think garrett is the puppet which is. again. an emily thing
p13(edit)- mikes dad looks like a mechanic shown in the training videos [cough henry emily cough]
if i think of anything else ill add it but anywys this is why i think the schmidts in the movie are the emilys equivalent. also check out the notes on this post because theres a lot of replies n reblogs that support my theory
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