#this would always happen because most of my extended fam used to live in the Philippines

[night-ah-ahks]

okay I know there’s the joke of the player characters getting possessed and someone else talks out of their mouths (player is with someone else and they are talking to egg) BUT I can never not imagine it as a literal Skype call/video call

because I’ve grown up in a house where my mom will be on a zoom call with her sisters for hours on end every morning without fail

sooooo I just imagine all the eggs like sheepishly walking up to their parent’s phone to talk to an aunt or uncle they don’t really know (are they actually related to their parents?) and the aunt/uncle is just doting and being cute and AAAAAAA

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

oh i am looking at the werewolf lore 👀

on the beatrice’s pack sucking and beatrice running away, what if beatrice’s family was the pack

she grew up thinking her family were ordinary humans, because why would she think otherwise? Beatrice’s family hid the being werewolves thing from beatrice because if she grew up knowing they were werewolves, she’d know how werewolves become werewolves and if she knew that, 😱 she might decide not to follow her family’s wishes and become a werewolf, heaven forbid!!”

so one day beatrice is just minding her own business when she almost gets mauled to death. and then she discovers it was no ordinary mauling when werewolf shenanigans starts happening so she seeks out her fam for comfort but their reactions are basically “oh so it worked??? f yeah!!!” (Obviously not in those words lmaoo)

loving the idea of jillian begging beatrice to turn michael into a werewolf, the image of big werewolf beatrice w lil pup werewolf michael 🥹

something something beatrice wants to avoid the mistakes of her parents and actually be open and honest and be there for michael

so michael basically gets a free sibling out of the werewolfification

speaking of lil pup werewolves, had the vibe in my head that ava has a kinship w werewolves, she always hangs out w em and w ordinary wolves and dogs, and she’s considered like an honorary member of many packs or something even if she’s never met em, the help and friendship she extends to em throughout the millenia is so widely known to them

(Which much to ava’s dismay, is why most cats hate her 😔)

and maybe it’s all because of diego who was a werewolf

maybe he was a lone werewolf who lost his shit because of being a werewolf w/o a pack

maybe that’s how ava discovered his immortality, thanks to diego

he lost his shit and next thing she knew, ava was waking up w a gaping hole in her neck, and she never saw diego again

lilith and ava have a such a weird selection of stuff they know and don’t know, especially when it comes to modern stuff, and it drives beatrice up the wall, trying to find the correlation between all of it, she’s like the conspiracy theory board guy meme over it

They’ll know some obscure literally-only-happened-yesterday social media fact without knowing how to use social media, but then they don’t know some basic detail of something beatrice knows for a fact that they lived through

beatrice is having the fucking time of her nerd life parsing through ava & lilith’s records of over the millenia but then in they’ll have been in france during the napoleonic wars but then there’ll be nary a single mention of napoleon or the war in their records and lilith & ava are confused as hell when beatrice asks em if they know who napoleon is, and it’s frustratingly confusing for bea

omg that’s reminding me of a thought i had earlier about ava having literally met jesus lmfao

ava being ??? and !!! wtf when she starts hearing about some big religion they’re waging wars over and she finds out they’re having wars in the name of her ol pal jesus

everytime some bigot uses christianity to defend their bigotry, ava’s just like “buddy boy i ducking knew jesus myself, he fucking hated greedy rich fucks like you, he was gay, and he very much wanted everyone to just love and accept each other”

Oh wow, yes if her family forced her to Change and didn't tell her??? The layers of broken trust could outcompete an onion. And Bea's family is probably a big deal in the werewolf world, so there were likely a number of interested parties waiting to see how and when the potential heir to the pack would be brought into the fold.

And Bea would be so horrified by the way the pack is run and the oppressive rules they use to keep their members in line. And she would find out that some (a lot) of the people they try to Change don't survive the process, so not only did her family lie to her, betray her, and deliberately hurt her, they did so with no guarantee that she would actually live through it! That's the final straw, and she runs away during the next full moon, eventually climbing into Ava and Lil's place, possibly because she senses something safe or comforting about it. If Ava has an affinity for werewolves, Bea's wolf spirit would probably sense it and drive Bea to seek her out.

And oh my god, if Diego was a werewolf who lost his mind and killed Ava???? Devastating. He might have been turned as a kid and left to fend for himself without a pack to teach him control. Ava would have tried to help him, and he found something calming about her presence (there's a concept like this in the Mercy Thompson books too, an Omega (NOT that kind of Omega)). But then on one full moon it gets to be too much, and he can't stop himself. She wakes up an unknown amount of time later, and he's long gone. Maybe he's still alive somewhere. She still thinks about him, and sometimes dreams about him as a grown man wandering the world still.

So when Jillian begs Bea to Change Michael, it sparks turmoil on multiple fronts. Bea is terrified of killing Michael by accident, and Ava is scared of history repeating with a young werewolf living without a pack. It's Lilith who steps in to calm them both down, reminding Bea that she's an incredibly careful and competent person with excellent control over her wolf, so the chances of her accidentally killing him are slim. And she reminds Ava that Bea (and potentially Shannon, Mary, and the other gals) is a mature wolf who can teach Michael how to adjust and control himself.

So they agree to do it, and it works! And he's just a really big puppy who wags his tail and begs his mom for treats. For Bea, it's an opportunity to fully sever ties with her family and maybe build a pack of her own (with Ava and Lil included because who says a pack can only be wolves?). And for Ava, it's a chance not to change the tragedies of the past but to take their lessons and make something better in the here and now.

Lmao, Lil and Ava being like "Who's Napoleon?" "Was he that guy who... ehm, fought England that one time?" "That doesn't narrow things down..." Or they have moments where they're resting in bed, about to fall asleep, when they suddenly sit straight up and yell "That twink was Alexander the Great!!"

And if Ava met and was pals with Jesus, like a secret apostle, she probably tried to spread some of his good teachings to the world (without the God stuff) until she realized over time what that preaching was turning into and cut her ties. The story changed so much over two millennia that she can no longer see the man she knew in the image of him projected on the world today.

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Vampires But Different This Time, No Really.

So the funny post about projected literary trends for 2024 and the whole "we're gonna do vampires a whole different way this time, I swear" has been rotating in the back of my mind for a while now. I'd like some more variety besides the usual "came back sexy" or "came back monstrous, but stacked" stuff. There's a certain frailty to the flagship Victorian novel vampires, even Dracula himself: he hunts the most vulnerable, sneaks around to attack them, and is frightened away easily the moment anyone shows an interest in protecting his chosen victim. Really not the overpowered demon he ends up being in cinema. And the real-life vampire panics of the early-mid modern age were very much about vampires as agents of disease: ill patients died and then came back because according to folklore that's just a thing that happens sometimes.

So yeah, I guess I'm proposing a model of vampirism cause that's a normal thing to do on a weekend night, right? I'm probably going to be using this for my projects later but absolutely feel free to borrow and iterate on if you want.

First off, while this vampirism is an affliction, ixnay nixnay on the vampirism having a biology-based disease process that you can study in the lab. Sorry, fam. You just piss off biologists when you try to come up with a microbe-based reason for the dead coming back. If this is taking place in a modern setting, the scientists get to be just as clueless and freaked out as people would have been back in the days before modern medicine.

Second, let them have weaknesses to balance out the gained supernatural powers but with a disease-like quality to them. Sharpened senses of perception like extending vision in the near-infrared, more acute hearing, and the ability to detect pheromones and track a scent also mean disliking bright lights, loud noises, and strong smells. Garlic? Depends on how much you liked garlic as a mortal, but you're going to like it a lot less than you did before. Sunlight won't turn you into a crispy critter but it will give you a blinding headache and a blistering rash. I'm also fond of the "has to sleep in native dirt" thing; it's the kind of limitation that will always be in the back of a vampire's mind, so that has chronic-illness vibes. I also like the general Castlevania idea that right-angle crosses will fuck with your vision but more as a trigger for migraine-like visual auras, with crosses made of reflective material or in high contrast against a backdrop being the most effective.

I wanna load vampires up with some additional debuffs so you can really crank up the pathos. Stoker's Dracula has some clear parallels with demonic possession, in that Dracula chooses a single victim to corrupt and torment until they die. Each year during Dracula Daily season people wonder "why is Dracula being so inefficient in his hunting patterns?" and I wanna be like, "what if this is the most efficient hunting pattern? What are we missing?". What I think we're missing: Stoker's Dracula is not only draining the blood but also the souls of his victims, culminating in their death. I'm proposing that the corruption/consumption of the soul is just as vital as the blood itself in nourishing a vampire, so if you take blood from a consenting victim and let them live you're not getting the soul-stuff.

A vampire thus malnourished doesn't get the full benefits of immortality--let's say it keeps you going but doesn't fully restore you to that "came back sexy" ideal--any vampire who stays invulnerable and eternally youthful had to hurt and kill for it. If you decide to be a more ethical vampire, your body will age, albeit somewhat slower than humans, you will not be as powerful, and also sometimes your body just won't work right because it isn't getting everything it needs from your diet. If you decide you're gonna try and feed on animals to avoid the human cruelty the upshot is that you're now incorporating animal blood and soul-stuff into your system and you may start to take on the traits and limitations of those animals, losing your humanity in the process. Drink from too many herbivores and you may find you've extinguished your own drive to feed and are now going to starve to death, confused and frightened as a prey animal--or at least that's the lore that goes around vampire circles. Maybe it's true, maybe not.

In this light, siring another vampire to share this unfortunate fate is kind of a shitty thing to do, and so of course the most prolific sires tend to be assholes with zero scruples. Eventually a childe will be absolutely done with their sire's shit and leave, or if the relationship was especially bad, they'll kill them. This sort of toxic start to unlife leads vampires to be wary of their own kind by default. Often the vampires who strive to be more ethical will just give up on associating with other vampires entirely.

So yeah, that's what I've got so far. I want to flesh out more about the process of turning into a vampire and some more abilities and disabilities that come with the package, but I'm gonna stop here and get some sleep.

[2-cute-4-school]

𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚢, 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜/𝚘

a/n: hiiiii so i decided to make this a 2in1 reaction; basically i just put together 2 of my requests that were *in my opinion* closely related. hope y’all don’t mind and enjoy!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

requested by annonies: ‘Hey.. could you please do nct dream reaction to s/o having high fever and just wants cuddls? 🥺 like how would they take care of them.. make it fluffy please.’ & ‘nct dream reaction to their s/o being EXTREMELY tired and then like ummmmm cuddling and stuff maybe?? *uwuing in the distance*’

Mark Lee

okay but just imagine this (๑◕︵◕๑)

cuddle sessions when you’re both stretched thin and overworked

even though we all know he isn’t big on skinship i think he would throw all reticence out the window when it’s crystal clear that you both NEED each other ꒰๑˃͈꒳˂͈๑꒱ﾉ*ﾞ̥

so you just crawl under the bankets into his arms and you both just lay together in silence just enjoying each other’s presence

bonus points if he runs his hand through your hair and you trace shapes with the pads of your fingers on his skin (´,,•ω•,,)♡

it would probaby take a couple of lazy kisses and if you’re really really soft he might just hum some song lowly in your ear

just a lil heads up:

you ain’t getting out of his arms ‘til next morning so better hope you peed beforehand and have a bottle of water in reach (ಠ‿↼)

the only thing that would make him get up without a second thought?

if you’re feverish because of your exhaustion

his worry wouldn’t allow him to settle down until he’s 110% sure he made everything in his power to keep you comfortable 

“cold towels, water, painkillers just in case, is there anything i’m forgetting? babe, should i make you some tea-”

“mark, you know what would make me feel SO much better?”

“huh?” ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

“CUDDLES, BABE, CUDDLES!!” (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

you don’t have to say that twice, your man is tucking you into his side in an instant flash ain’t got nothing on mark, he’s a man on a mission

he’ll try to stay awake long enough to make sure you’ve fallen asleep properly since he knows your fever won’t go away without proper rest

might hover over you the next morning too!! ( ≧Д≦)

Huang Renjun

this boy would FRET like CONSTANTLY

especially if you develop a fever 

he keeps piling up a lot of stuff in your room, anything he deems would be potentially helpful at some point is surrounding your bed

“jun, why tf is a cactus on my nightstand?” Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

“what if haechan walks through the door?”

“... understandable” ¯\_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯

your room looks like a deposit at this point and you’ve tried to drag him to bed more times than you can count

but he’s restless ༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽

until your frustration topples over and you’re on the verge of tears as you ask him for ✨cuddles ✨

he might actually feel bad for not joining you earlier so he’s gonna be EXTRA soft with you enjoy it while you can

he’s gonna pepper kisses all over you as he encases you in his lil arms and nuzzles his face into the crown of your head (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

he’s ready to offer free massages or head scratches!!!! LIMITED OFFER DON’T MISS OUT!!!

also he’s ready for literally anything

fever? medicine and wet towels nearby. thirst? 4 bottles of water AND gatorade. hunger? your favourite take out is waiting. any intruders? cactus is right by his hand. cuddles? CUDDLES!!!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

i think he’ll probably stay up even after you fell asleep, reading about how exhaustion affects one’s body and how to help i just think he’s a really wholesome person despite his all ‘don’t talk to him he angy’ character

but he’s still SO attentive to you!!

he’s down to anything that would make you feel better and if that means 20 hours of non stop cuddling so be it (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Lee Jeno

i think he’d be REALLY clingy with you even in normal circumstances kind of like how he’s with mark ya know

so your affected well-being will just give him an extra reason to evolve to his ULTIMATE LEVEL OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

he won’t let you lift A FINGER

my man is cuddling you even while standing up (灬 ♡ ω ♡ 灬)

he’s also going to insist on carrying you anywhere even if it’s just from the bed to the bathroom this boi is strong you have no excuse to shy away from him he won’t let you

you have no chance at escaping him btw his arms are made of iron when it comes to cuddles good luck prying them off you

and even though he’s clearly focusing on your requested cuddles, he’ll ask you from time to time if you need anything, how you’re feeling, if you’re comfortable

lowkey uses the excuse of checking your temperature to give you endless forehead kithes cuz he can (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ

he also becomes kind of hyperaware of every little move you make

you shiver? he’s cocooning you in yet another blanket. you’re becoming restless? he adjusts your cuddling position until you’re fully comfortable.

NOTHING gets past him ┌༼ σ ‸ σ ༽┐

idk why but i have a hunch that jeno sleeps like a rock

so if he happens to fall asleep too and you need to get up? pfft yeah sure better call for a crane to lift you up from the bed  ૮( ᵒ̌ૢꇴᵒ̌ૢ )ა｡

he’s also going to be EXTREMELY cranky if anyone dares interrupt your extended cuddle session this is strictly ‘only y/n and jeno time’

he might also entertain you with a few pictures of his cats if you’re feeling soft or ugly pictures of his members if you need a good laugh

would totally recommend leaving yourself in jeno’s care!! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

Lee Haechan

he would LIVE for your cuddle sessions (●♡∀♡))

despite that, he WOULDN’T STAND you being uncomfortable for a single second if he can do something against that

i think he’s the type of person who wouldn’t leave even the smallest of papercuts untreated when it comes to his partner so exhaustion? fever? yeah no. frickin. way. ┐(;Ծ⌓Ծ;)┌

and after he’s absolutely sure he has everything you might need nearby and put a cold cloth on your forehead and made sure you were hydrated and well fed

he finally climbs into bed with you and just SMOTHERS the shite outta you i’m not even kidding ꒰๑*´ᗜ`*꒱*›◡‹꒱꒱

he’s full on *leech mode*, kisses and nuzzles and gentle caresses

and best part of the package? this man is a walking spotify premium!!

you get to choose whatever song you want and switch with no ads and he has no complaints since his payment is already made in cuddles

you thought this was the end of it?? SIKE

also an entertainment king!!  ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

we all know he probably has shit on all of the members and he’s not shy to do some harmless story telling to put you in a good mood

so just imagine and try coming up with anything better

sleepy you engulfed in the sunshine himself’s arms, tightly cradled against him with his soothing honey voice murmuring and humming to you and only you ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

his protective side might surface too btw

no one is allowed near you and if someone somehow managed to bother you? oh hell naw  🙃

now they’re on hyuck’s black list good luck mate

his babie gets the royalty treatment in those times guaranteed

Na Jaemin

he’s a doting boyfriend either way i think we can all agree on that

but you clinging to him and asking for cuddles? you not feeling well?

yeah not on his watch mother hen in action part the sea (ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ

i don’t think he’d panic tho, his only struggle would be postponing the cuddles you’re asking for while he prepares something to eat and a tea and fluffs up the pillows and blankets he’s gathered (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

but once he’s done?

yeah you’re bundled in a mountain of softness and most importantly? our cuddle bug jaemin (♡ >ω< ♡)

he’ll keep you propped up against his chest while he feeds you himself, proper care is something unskippable in his agenda

but after that any cuddling position is FREE REAL ESTATE!!

anything his baby wants, his baby gets ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

but for the sake of his mental stability he’d prefer to be in a position from where he can see you

boi is too worried to let you out of his sight so he’s aiming to be the big spoon or facing you directly 三 ( ◜◡‾)っ)⁰▿⁰)

he’ll help you fall asleep in any way he can

he’ll caress your back, your arms, he’ll softly massage your neck and shoulders, he has a playlist ready for sleepy moods

he is PREPARED ٩(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

he checks your temperature every so often and he grumbles with a pout if it doesn’t seem to be going down

but if it comes down to it he won’t hesitate to ask someone to bring some medicine and if your exhaustion and/or fever doesn’t relent he’ll insist on getting checked by a doctor

it would break his heart to see you so weak and no ammount of cuddles could repair it until he sees you up and healthy again (◕⌓◕;)

but he’ll do all the pampering in the world so don’t worry

Zhong Chenle

i think he would hesitate at first but only because he’s kinda scared he’ll only make it worse and he WOULDN’T want that ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

eventually i guess he’d step out to call his mum for help before he pulls some bull like ‘let’s do some math it’s gonna be fun’ and you lose your shit like no thanks fam i wanna live (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he’ll listen RELIGIOUSLY to his mum��s advice 

makes you some chamomile exactly how you like it, probably pulls together something small to eat but won’t force you

what he will force you to take is some medicine you ain’t dying on his watch (๑･`▱´･๑)

and most importantly... DAEGAL CUDDLES!!!! imagine getting to cuddle every nctzen’s bias

he might get *a little* jelly tho if you pay too much attention to her tho

so he makes up some dumb excuse about dog hair aggravating your fever or some dubious other reason why you have to let go of his puppy and cuddle HIM!! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

he’ll do that cute thing where he leans his forehead against yours to check your temperature he has to be extra until the end

and before you go to sleep he’ll  try to prod at you to tell him what caused you to be so exhausted that you developed a fever might nag at you too about how unheathy it is to let it get to that point

he just wants to help okay? baby is worried in his own way ( •́ ∧ •̀ )

if there’s ANYTHING he can do to help consider it done by the time you wake up he’ll ALWAYS go an extra mile for you

and chenle wants to make sure you are aware of that and can lean on him so it never gets to this point again

but for the time being... it’s cuddles and relaxation time!! ✧(๑✪д✪)۶

better believe he’s already preparing a spa day for both of you to enjoy like the  ✨spicy ✨ bitches you are

Park Jisung

his heartbeat accelerates

and unfortunately it’s not because he’s flustered shame (#ﾟﾛﾟ#)

his only thought when he sees you with bag under your eyes and a cold wet cloth on your forehead is ‘shit, they’re dying wait no censor the first part i can’t get my mouth washed with soap but... poop, they’re dying’

ONE step away from calling for an ambulance or morgue in his mind

he SWEARS he’ll let you teach him how to ride a bycicle as long as you get out of this safe and sound (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

he’s a bit of a mess, but he’s your cute mess

it would take *quite* a bit of reassurance that you’re going to be fine after a good night’s sleep and some jisung time for him to somewhat relax

his cheeks will flush once he curls himself around your form no matter how many times you’ve cuddled before

but once you sigh blissfully once he wraps his arms around you, it’s game over for him ε=(｡♡ˇд ˇ♡｡）

he MELTS against you

he’ll caress your head and gently scratch your scalp, lays kisses on your cheeks/forehead/crown of your head

but he will also fret every time you toss and turn or you make any sound that seems ‘distressed’ to him

we all know he can sleep anywhere under a frickin carpet so he won’t have any problems adjusting to whatever works for you since all that matters to him atm is that you’re comfortable (♡ >ω< ♡)

he just wants you to get better faster

he’ll talk to you in a hushed voice, encouraging and praising you and assuring you that once you’re all better he’ll help you with whatever you need and EVERYTHING will be well in the end ٩(ó｡ò۶ ♡)

he’s a senstitive person so he just wants to be there for you in any shape and form he can be

[just-a-fangirl13]

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist. 

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened. 

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she? 

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated] 

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise. 

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable). 

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things. 

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

[elliemuze]

Something interesting I've noticed. This has nothing in particular to do with anything specific, just a general observation.

Because of my Autism/ADHD/OCD (a thrilling combo, I'm sure you can imagine), if I get a thought in my head, I tend to run with it because I feel an urgent need to get it out. This can often lead to me interrupting or speaking over people. This sincerely frustrates me that I do this, but for the most part, it's involuntary. Because of it, I've had people assert that they would like to finish speaking, may they please be allowed to continue, etc. Sometimes aggressively, sometimes politely. All perfectly acceptable and justified. I'm really trying to work on it and better myself, because I know it's rude and uncalled for on my part. I've made leaps of progress in the last few years, especially after being diagnosed, and I'm proud of that. My response, always, no matter who I'm speaking to or the topic in question, is to apologize, acknowledge they're right, and let them finish.

But what really piques my gourd is that... these very same people will still speak over me and interrupt throughout the whole conversation. It's almost funny, tbqh. I don't draw attention to it and I know I should, but in the moment I'm just so taken aback and amused by the double standard that I just sort of take it and move on. Maybe they think I don't notice. Maybe they don't even notice. (Social interaction is bizarre like that.)

I feel I've gotten much better with addressing conflict, in spite of my prior aversion to it. I used to avoid it at all costs, even if it was at a detriment to myself or others. (I will say that I can and do go full Mama Bear mode on occasion, both at present and in the past. I'm light-years more confident in defending others over myself, in that respect, which I think is a fairly common phenomenon.) But yeah. Residual trauma is a thing, as it happens. (Super inconvenient.) And I realize now that I'm still terribly insecure when it comes to these "disorders" I have.

Living your life in frustration ain't it, though, fam. May my hangups serve as a fun little anecdote in your own life. Respect people, be considerate, but extend that same courtesy to yourself. Speak up. You're worth defending. 💜

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol.  You’re welcome.  

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel.  I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay.  Here we go.  

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?  

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie.  She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her.  She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season.  That said?  Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes.  I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story?  These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard.  Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela?  Hmm?  

Oh goodie.  They’re opening at Meridian.  Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later?  Call it Shae’s choice, lol.  

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship.  In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl.  Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.  

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em.  Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.  

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders. 

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people.  If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.  

Ooohhhh.  Who took the first stab at Wells?  Maggie?  Negan?  Father G?  I swear.  I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field.  Sorry.  If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.  

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time.  Interesting.  Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt.  With brick.  Wood.  Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature.  Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.  

Okay then.  Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol.  Tell me.  Please.  Anybody.  How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian?  Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian.  But hey.  Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.  

All the babies huddled together giving me feels.  Sorry.  I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time.  It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.  

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.  

Aww.  Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair?  Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair.  Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene.  What can I say?  I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.  

Oh snap.  The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.  

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5?  Good times.  We still had most of Team Family with us then.  They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together.  I miss them.  

Carol and Lydia holding each other.  These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.  

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw.  Stop wasting your breath.  

“She did.  My enemy.”  I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope?  Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under.  Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still.  I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.  

Alright.  So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl?  Man?  You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates.  Trust me on this.  

So.  Three teams, huh?  Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future.  Choose your fighters, lol.  Seriously, though.  Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?  

Listen.  Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus?  Absolutely.  You bet your sweet asses.  But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.  

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol.  What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.  

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond.  No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us.  I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.  

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie.  Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.  

Virgil volunteering to help.  Okay.  Damn.  I’m honestly starting to like the guy.  

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels.  I mean, granted.  It was a blink and you miss it scene.  We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up.  Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl.  My heart.  

Gracie and Aaron are sweet.  And honestly?  I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond.  I mean no disrespect, but I really do.  

“Why am I keeping you around?”  Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.  

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog.  Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat.  I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.  

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living.  Oh, that’s impressive.”  The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol.  Like if this had been Carol, yeah.  But Maggie?  Nope.  They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.  

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls?  Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.  

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith.  It’s sweet.  

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it.  But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.  

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also?  It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself.  Like she’s still a kid.  Wants don’t always line up with feelings.  Anyway.  Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return.  Not just Michonne.  I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.  

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well.  Plot point, lol.  

Seriously, though.  I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season.  I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will.  All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.  

Where are Negan and Elijah though?  Ouch.  There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.  

Ready the what now?  

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire!  Barbara, is it?  That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.  

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita.  More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.  

“Let’s stay away from the windows.”  I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that.  Still a badass moment though.  

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel.  At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.  

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.”  Listen, Leah.  Chick.  You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other.  It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.  

WTF are they calling that thing?  Sorry.  I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.  

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him.  That’s care for somebody he used to know.  There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many.  How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust?  Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much?  Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?  

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.  

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car?  I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal.  What else is new on this show, lol?  

I care for Maggie.  Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man.  She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for.  But are too far gone, so.  We’ll make allowances.  

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.  

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here.  She’s always been on her own side.  

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower.  Taking Deaver down!  Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.  

Here comes that woman scorned part.  I can feel it.  

“Pope is dead.  Dixon murdered him.  He’s with the enemy.”  

Please, Angela.  I’m begging you.  Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up.  You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.  

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.  

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit.  Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory.  You just know they’re tired AF.  

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger!  Oh and Gracie.  Angela?!  A word.  

Listen.  Carol’s already done that fireworks trick.  That Reaper dude owes her royalties.  Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.  

Angela has a point.  It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.  

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress.  Just saying.  

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally?  I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.  

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other.  There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.”  Straight from Angela’s mouth.  

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.”  Yeah, he did.  That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol.  Fight me.  

Overall impression of the episode?  

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore.  There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ.  I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna.  Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon.  If we can return to Team Family?  The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world?  You’ve got me.  If not?  Well.  You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.  

Anyway.  The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual.  The episode could have used a lot more of those.  

[shesbeautycrazee]

If time healed the heartaches and trauma.

We'd never know the pain and somber.

I know my heart skips many beats. All from

pain, heartbreaks and suffering. If you in this

world, could ever go back, to a time before

the each life was taken and eventually departed.

What would each of us do. To change the

circumstance, at each glance. If we can ever

expect to heal? It's about taking the steps, to

change for God forbid, future deaths, traumas,

and ordeals. If I could just see each face, would

you be there still, or will you speak truth and

really open up to me? Would you let me know

all your pain, how you'd accomplish your life

dreams? What took place for you to be so angry

and irate? Did I ever tell you just all about, how

you mean, just so much more to me? If I haven't,

and you're reading this now. I fall in love with you,

each new day.. Through your soul, your

passions, your characteristics and each

trait. For if I don't have time with you. There's no

way, I didn't fight this all the way through. I feel

so alone, so out of reach. It was the affliction,

which from, I did learn. If God was able to

sacrifice, but for my life, also yours, than I can

understand why. The lies, the deceit, and the

hate, only come at me. But never will they take.

Unless it be for God to deem, so his will for my

life. To take me home. Spiritually my soul is seen

through his eyes. You can't ever, destroy me.

Even if I'm dying you'll be, the one I destroy

along the way. You should have known, for if

he loves, my fight is definitely far from over.

You are not the fallen arch of angels. Nor are you

lucifer, you are just a fable. You're human. Not

any unseen form, of any kind of heathen form.

You pretend to carry out, your disheartening and

destructive ways. For I am not in any way

challenging you. And yet, I'm still not even a

challenge for you. For even by your physical

hands. Because of my love for the Lord. You fear

me for a reason that, not even you can

understand. Let go of that which you carry

inside, your miserable physical life that in this

moment, you truly lack. You're not evil. This I see.

Each time I look into your eyes, I see a true

reflection, glossy in gleam. I am not here to save

you from, anything you have done. Although I do

however care. All because of Christ Jesus,

through his love. Just as he's forgiven me. The

same I have offered, you last three. Find a solice

place within, deep inside, your not always

measly soul or mind. I believe in your chance, of

character and release, a prayer that God needs

to hear from me, for you to see. I'll be there in the

distance. My prayers, my life, my hope always

glistening. So take my word for this is what I've

seen. The will of God has been happening. In my

life for all to see. The miracle I am. It's never

ending. God has planned my life in his grand,

forgiven love through the love of this fam. A

family who never gives up. But instead we hold

nothing back. If it's to save each one of his

children, as he extends his caring hands. Take it

as he offers you. A truth to be told. Of a once

world so cold. This is not fate. It's not in vain,

how he takes away hate from each prayer each

one of us often speaks. And with the prayers of

his young children as they grow. They're

stronger than mine or anyone's in life. For a

child will be freely taken into God's hands. As we

live out life, through Jesus's most Amazing and

ultimate plan. Greater is he who lives within me.

For he is the reason, I'm forever grateful for his

songs of praises and my voices through him.

The voices of His own reasons.

DeM

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

Girl, are you even aware of the racist stuff Elaine said, and how she just reblogs whatever Zendaya or some other actvists posts do make herself look good bc she got caught? Stop making stupid RACIST people relevant

Alright. Here we go:

I’ve kept this in my ask box for a few days because 1) I didn’t have the energy to respond, and 2) I didn’t want to attract more hate accounts. But (sorry) I refuse to be silent about this any longer.

So I’ll make this my one time post to get my thoughts and views out there, and then I’m not putting up with this anymore.

Let me start by making this *PERFECTLY* clear: If you have an issue with Elaine, you can feel free to unfollow me. This blog wholeheartedly supports Rudy, Elaine, their relationship, and all of the friendships throughout the cast. (And all I’m going to do is piss you off even more with my *overwhelming* support.)

Secondly: Y’all. Sound. AbSuRD! (In the words of one Madison Bailey.)

Am I aware of the supposed “racist” things that Elaine has said/posted in the past? I’m gonna be totally transparent and say that no, I don’t. I just watched OBX for the first time in December 2020, and didn’t even know who Elaine was until January/February 2021. So no, I’m not aware of these.

Note : I have since seen evidence of what she said, and talked about it in a separate anon response to another anon. You can read that post here. Even after making that response, and reading the evidence against Elaine, I still stand by everything that I wrote initially in this post.

HOWEVER, I still don’t have an issue with her, and I’ll explain why: (1) She’s in a relationship with Rudy. He’s a grown man, and extremely smart. I don’t believe he would be with her if she truly was racist. Furthermore, Rudy and JD have said that they have talked extensively about the racial injustice and issues in the world right now, so I really, truly don’t think that he would be with her (or JD would be friends with her) if he had even an inkling that she was. (2) Her relationship with the Daviss’. Again, echoing the last point, do you really think JD and his family would be as close to her as they are (even considering her a non-biological “daughter”) if they believed that she had even a small prejudice against them based on the color of their skin? Nah fam. (3) All of this, combined with the fact that since I have been following her, I have seen her post nothing but support, and resources for the racial issues that have been happening in the past year. (Specifically the BLM movement, as well as the recent AAPI injustice that has been happening recently.)

I don’t know her personally, obviously, but I know that I would hate for someone to take something that I said when I was young, and narrow-minded, and constantly bring it up in accusations after my worldview has changed.

You all hate on her for her being “racist”, not being good enough for Rudy, and being a problematic influence for the cast. But really, y’all just don’t want Rudy to be with her because you want him to be single. Why? Because you think you’re going to end up with him? He’s happy with her. She makes him HAPPY. If y’all love Rudy as much as you claim you do, why is his judgement not enough for you? AND (to go a step further) they don’t owe you, some random person on the internet, an explanation for why they’re together.

I think y’all forget too often that they are ACTUAL PEOPLE, that have FEELINGS, and *gasp* HAVE MADE MISTAKES. But people also GROW, ADAPT, and CHANGE. (But y’all aren’t ready for THAT conversation.) ((And that goes for the WHOLE cast, not just Rudy and Elaine.))

All of these factors lead me to believe that she is a genuine person, that, unfortunately, gets shit on because of who she’s dating. And y’all hide behind the “race” issue to convince yourselves that you have some moral high ground on her, when in all actuality the ACTUAL issue you have with her is that she’s dating Rudy Pankow. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but right now she’s in Barbados having the time of her life with the love of her life. Your small-minded issues with her don’t MATTER. They’re happy together, so leave. Them. ALONE.

I’ll leave with this:

EVEN IF (hopefully not, but let’s be honest, shit happens) they break up down the line, and go their separate ways, Elaine is STILL just as valuable of a person. Her value isn’t based on who she’s dating. Even though she’s gotten more “popular” due to her being with Rudy, most of that “popularity” is people that just want to give her shit for how much of a “bad influence” she is on him and the cast. STOP.

Elaine is her own person, with or without Rudy, and deserves to be able to live her life without internet trolls making her life a living hell.

/TLDR: Elaine will ALWAYS find nothing but love and support here. And I won’t put up with anyone that demeans her or puts her down in any way. She and Rudy are PEOPLE that deserve HAPPINESS and PRIVACY. And they do not owe any of us ANYTHING. #sorrynotsorry if that fact pisses you off.

/end rant

P.S. I’m not naive enough to think that anything about what I’ve said will change anyone’s mind on her. (Unfortunately.) However, I felt it was important to address the “issue” here, and hopefully someone will realize how important kindness is, and maybe extend it to someone else.

P.S.S. Y’all [STILL] sound AbSuRD!

[agrosehamada]

Rose’s Stories

So below are some very rough ideas that I have for what Rose’s book series would be like--I hope to eventually write all of them but I thought it would be fun to share this with all of you! 

Family:

Tadashi and Fred Hamada: Dads

Daniel: Older brother

Hiro Hamada and Ezra Bridger-Hamada: Uncles

Hope and Dev: cousins, kids of Hiro and Ezra (Hope is younger than Daniel but older than Rose and Dev, Dev and Rose were in the same incubator at the same time so are cousins but also consider themselves to be sort of like twins)

Cass: Grandma on Tadashi’s side :) (Really great aunt but all the kids call her Grandma)

Stan: Grandpa on Fred’s side (as a superhero he saved Tadashi from the fire and is the reason Tadashi is still alive! Yes his name is Stan Lee as an homage to Stan Lee being the model for Fred’s dad in the movie BUT to clarify he has no connection to the real Stan Lee, may his memory be a blessing!)

Books:

Meet Rose: Story starts with her finishing up her last day of homeschooling, Rose is going to start regular school for junior high in the fall. Possibly just Fred homeschooled her and Danny to give them a good foundation, or possibly because she’s ASD and didn’t handle elementary school well when she tried they decided to homeschool her but she’s agreed to try again in Junior high (she’s a bit nervous but mostly excited.) She gets A’s in all classes but math she gets a B which she’s a bit sad about but she tried her best (math is hard for her, she does good but it’s not fun which kinda sucks since math comes naturally to everyone in her bio family except for Fred.) Theme of the book is Rose is a very helpful person but sees everyone in her family is doing big things to help the world (making Baymax, etc.) and she wants to do something meaningful with her summer, feels like she needs to accomplish something big before starting junior high (aw, sweet summer child thinking junior high is so grown up and important XD). She goes around asking everyone what she can do to help them and keeps doing little things that they ask her to help with but is worried she’s not really doing anything important. Story ends with Tadashi explaining that she doesn’t have to do a “big thing” and the “little things” are actually really important, but does take her to adopt a cat since she can make a big difference in the life of the kitty :) Random note: Tadashi and Fred always make sure to have family time on Friday nights and Tadashi, since he doesn’t have as much time with the kids as Fred working full time, has special time for one-on-one time with each of the kids at some point during the week to check in and see how they’re doing/spend time doing something that’s important to them :)

Rose Learns a Lesson: Rose going to school. Lots of stress: For one thing just struggling socially but especially because of how she and Danny were born some of the bullies decide to pick on her for being “a freak”, ask her if she was born in a test tube/is a clone, when she explains about the incubator they make a connection to chickens and start calling her “chicken girl” or “egg girl” and spread a rumor she was hatched from an egg or some shit. Also teachers expect her to be just like Danny (who loved math) and Hope (who wasn’t super into math but it was easy for her) and are frustrated that she struggles with math. Oh, and she was supposed to have the same schedule as Dev but the principal separated them for most of their classes, except maybe home ec where he kind of outshines her in baking/cooking so there’s drama there too. She does make a friend, Hermoine, who has two moms (one of her moms is trans so she was born that way) and they hit it off really well :) They bond over Harry Potter (Rose is a Hufflepuff with a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor for dads while Hermione is a Ravenclaw with a Gryffindor and a Slytherin for moms) and other nerdy stuff :) Hermione is an avid fanfic writer and Rose loves reading, and Hermione loves Rose’s plushies so they work really well together!

Rose’s Surprise: Christmas story, Rose loves Christmas and is hard at work on making Christmas presents for family. Expected a small Christmas but Tadashi and Fred invited a lot of the adopted family to celebrate (BH 6 team and their family plus Ezra’s family) to celebrate with them and so there’s a LOT more people around than expected (social anxiety), Rose feels like she has to make present for everyone (PANIC), and she keeps getting pulled into doing holiday things which means she has even less time to finish making presents (MORE PANIC.) Resolution is everyone realizing she’s stressing out but she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying no to celebration things or by not making presents and everyone reassures her she doesn’t have to make presents for everyone but also gives her some down time to finish making the presents :)

Rose Saves the Day: The annual Sakura Festival is happening in San Fransokyo! Rose is super excited, it’s one of her favorite times of the year, and she always helps Aunt Cass with the extra customers she gets during the festival (they usually give it a special theme, this year it’s a cat maid/butler cafe!) But this year Tia Honey Lemon asks her to help with her fashion show as a model (Honey Lemon gives her sewing lessons in exchange for her helping model her clothes) and helping make outfits, and also the animal shelter where Rose got her kitty from needs support so Rose offers to make plushies for them to sell at the booth/offers to help run the booth and kind of over extends herself. Not a lot of story ideas built out on all of that yet but she’s doing lots of running around and she’s really tired and possibly gets a bad grade on a math quiz because of it and she kinda melts down and Tadashi has to help her figure out how to calm down and do what she can while also making thing manageable (including apologizing but telling people she can’t meet all of her commitments and everyone is very nice and understanding about it!)

Happy Birthday, Rose: I don’t have a lot worked out aside from Rose having a summer birthday, possibly she invites classmates but gets ditched (except for of course Hermione and her fam) for someone more popular running a party (maybe also Rose made it a costume party and people were like “You’re turning thirteen and THAT’S what you’re doing?) For sure the family goes to DisneyLand! Also possibly some angst because Danny has graduated high school now (he graduates at sixteen and is starting at SFIT next year) and overhears Hiro saying something about how when Tadashi started college he was never around and so she’s worried about losing Danny and he has to reassure her that he will always have time for her. Possible angst if Rose gets ditched for her party trying to convince her dads into homeschooling her for eighth grade and try again with high school, but she gets talked into trying again. 

Changes for Rose: It’s a new school year, Danny has started at SFIT and yeah, is not around as much and Rose is missing him and maybe he’s missing family night on Fridays and Tadashi and Fred are like, “Well he is in college, it is going to happen as he gets older” and Rose isn’t happy about it. Main plot point is Callaghan is being paroled from prison, it’s been about twenty years now and he’s in his sixties/seventies and is pretty broken down at this point. Abigail is living on the other side of the world now for work, and Callaghan has no one else to turn to but a desperate hope that Tadashi might help. Tadashi has been visiting him all this time on the down low (Hiro and most of the others don’t like it) and is like, “He’s still my dad figure, I can’t let him end up on the streets, he can come live with us.” (Callaghan was a friend of the Hamada parents and helped raise Tadashi after they died/got Tadashi interested in robotics, losing Abigail pushed him off the deep end but once he had time to think about what he’d done after it was all over he was horrified and is still incredibly guilty about almost being responsible for Tadashi’s death.) Fred is not terribly happy about it but is kinda understanding. Hiro is NOT happy at all (has never forgiven Callaghan.) and there is a lot of family drama going on. Rose is a bit nervous around this strange old man, she does know what happened but Tadashi always spoke highly of him and he seems lonely and sad just sitting quietly in the guest bedroom all day, maybe reading but often just staring out the window. And she’s feeling lonely with Danny being gone so much so she ends up making friends with him and kind of helps the others come around to him and is happy to have a new family member :) Random note: Maybe Callaghan helps her a lot with her math homework, he’s a really good teacher and helps her find ways to understand math that work with her learning style ^^ Other plot point: Rose might be realizing that she likes Hermione as more than a friend?

[ziracona]

Do you have any post ilm Myer sibs (Quentin counts too 👀) hcs? I live for your Myers sib content and it is so gooooood I loved the little tidbits at the end of ilm :)

Sure! I love them so muc TuT. I’ve posted some before, but I can’t remember off the top of my head always which things I have and haven’t said already when it comes to post-ILM headcanons, so apologies if I repeat myself a little.

Michael takes a while to be comfortable around other people in general, but gets there pretty well eventually, and becomes a normal part of the gang. Philip is especially helpful (both to him and all the other past-killers) in working out ways to get through that past.

His cat almost dies the first year he has it, but Claudette is visiting the day it happens and saves it, and he and the cat both love her after that.

Michael has a really weird relationship with Nancy bc her introduction to him was not as The Shape but as “Oh this is Laurie’s weird brother,” but somehow they turned that weirdness into a really great mechanic and vibe well together.

Since Michael thinks Quentin is biologically his brother, then half-brother after he meets Alan Smith, he considers Alan kind of a weird step-father and Anna kind of a weird step-mother. Luckily for everyone involved, he doesn’t think about this much.

Laurie and Michael go mma on each other sometimes after the first few years just for old time’s sake and it’s kind of amazing to watch.

Everybody in the group gets pretty fluent in sign language after a while to communicate with Michael easily. It’s much appreciated by Laurie.

Michael is successfully able to learn how to read and write at adult levels after a few years with Laurie’s help and she is unbelievably proud of him and not afraid to show it, which he finds both embarrassing and enjoys.

Both of them come to stay with Quentin a lot, and it’s really nice for all of them. Alan does a very impressive job of being welcoming to the two murderers his kid has made part of his personal life 🤣 (poor Alan, without context getting Michael and Anna—thank God he has his kid who will give him the world’s most in-depth and sympathetic explanations). Michael gets interested in art by the stuff Nancy keeps/makes out in the shed, and she talks him into trying his hand a little. Sometimes they go do that together, or talk Quentin & Laurie into joining and do a group drawing party while talking or listening to music.

The headphones were a good gift, and listening to music/tuning things out is very helpful to Michael sometimes he finds, when dealing with psychosis symptoms. Sometimes if he’s having a rough time, he will go sit out on the porch in silence and listen to music, and Quentin started going to join him when that happened if he was visiting, and would just sit beside him in silence, listening to his own headphones as a move of solidarity. One time a month or so later, Quentin was having a really bad week and couldn’t sleep, and got up and was just chilling downstairs on the couch, listening to headphones, and Michael came over wearing his and sat with him. Now they regularly both do it as a solidarity act together if either of them needs a break from life. They never really talk about it—just go sit on the porch together and listen to their own music—but they don’t have to. They know. :’-]

Laurie & Quentin have both physically attacked strangers more than one for stuff they said to Michael.

Quentin takes Laurie (and Michael, if it’s a kind he could enjoy, which is unfortunately rareish) to concerts, and does insist to her dismay on bankrolling stuff for her whenever he can once he’s eventually a doctor. Laurie gets this with both barrels, because David constantly does this too, and she appreciates it, but is also low-key stressed sometimes.

Laurie: I’m gonna grab a smoothie real—

David&Quentin, shoving handfuls of money her way: “Here, for the”—“I’ll pay”

Laurie: O_O

Its a little weird for Michale when David & Laurie start dating, and he feels threatened because the man had less than nothing in the entire world before his sister and he worked things out, and he does not want things to change back, but he is assured by both Laurie and David that nothing will change, and after experiencing that/seeing it is true for a few weeks/months, he calms down about it. Eventually kind of likes the idea of having a 2nd brother, as Quentin puts it to him. Already liked David pretty well and gets to know him even better, now that he has a level of personal interest in him, and they get along pretty well. It’s weird, because they are incredibly awkward @ each other, but that gets better and all four of them (sibs + David) have a lot of fun doing things as a group.

Michael got to see like, none of the world at all most of his life, so he greatly enjoys travel/sightseeing, and is interested by most of what is out there to see. The first time he went boating was a really great day for him, and kind of a fantastic experience. David took them out on a lake (p early on, year 2) and it was one of the best feelings he’d experienced. Since age 6, all he’s really gotten to see or do was walk around and stab people in small realm cages, or sit still in a white room from age 6-21, and the world couldn’t be a lot more full of wonder. Laurie takes to casually explaining how things work a lot out loud when they go places as little fun “did you know?” Kinds of facts, so that in case he doesn’t know, he won’t have to ask or feel embarrassed about it. Several of the others start doing this too after a bit.

Laurie plays piano, and Michael is fascinated by that, so Laurie teaches him how to do that too. Sometimes he and Quentin, who is still learning guitar, will practice together. Laurie tries to pretend she doesn’t love listening as much as she does but it kills her w happiness when they do.

After quite a few years, Laurie tries out teaching literature, history, and philosophy at a local high school. She’s incredibly nervous. Technically she doesn’t have a college education and is using forged documents, and just has private study and some courses in those areas specifically out of love for the topics/interest, and she’s afraid she won’t be good at it. Her friends try to talk her up and reassure her. Quentin and David throw a celebration for her first day when she gets back, and all her friends/the realm fam & extended family (Nancy, Alan, etc) come. The biggest help is Michael, though, who just goes and stands outside all day near the school where she can see him through the window—which should be horrifying, all things considered, but actually helps. It’s just incredibly funny to her, because it’s visually so similar and contextually couldn’t be more different from the last time he stalked her at a school, so she chills out and gets through the day fine. Runs outside and hugs him at the end of it. Michael is very proud of himself. Then Laurie has an amazing surprise party when she gets home.

Laurie does not stay a high school teacher for that long, but she really enjoys it while she does it.

While Quentin is at school with Nancy and Claudette and Philip, Laurie and Michael come to visit quite frequently, and sometimes the whole group of six has game or movie or book nights, or goes off on a mini trip or night out.

After a couple years of their tradition with Judith, Michael and Laurie start to invite Quentin along too and he is both touched and nervous, but goes, and comes to quite a few of the picnics regularly, because he’s a sibling of the family too. Michael is excited to introduce him to her. :’-]

[littlemisssquiggles]

I just realized: RWBY were put in a similar position as Ozpin in the last three episodes of Volume 7. Their lie that was told (seemingly) out of necessity came back to bite them at the worst possible time, they were given no chance to defend their decision or explain themselves before they were attacked. And at the end of it all, they were given no choice but to retreat.

Hey Miki-chan! Apologies for the late response; fam. You’re right. Team RWBY did technically wind up in the same position as Oz.

…Hoooooooooweverrrrr…..here’s the thing with that for this squiggly squiggle meister right here. This is probably just me but…despite them ending up in the same scenario as Oz, is it odd that I’m not as sympathetic towards our heroes right than I was (and still am) with Ozpin?

Even now, I’m still willing to stand up in defence of Oz for his actions prior to V6 since, as I’ve voiced time and time again, I feel like Oz’s motive for his secrets and half-truths were justified. I was able to understand where Oz (and by extension his predecessors) were coming from especially when I consider the whole picture that’s beyond the fact that he didn’t mention Salem’s immortality despite informing his most trusted about everything else (i.e. the existence of the Four Maidens, the Relics, the Brother Gods and the Day of Judgement, etc.).

However I can’t extend the same olive branch to JNR_RWBY because unlike Oz, I don’t feel like their immediate distrust in Ironwood was warranted at all. Since V6, I’ve found our heroes’ actions to be rather questionable and I didn’t like the weird angle that the CRWBY Writers took where I felt like the PLOT was constantly “taking care” of our heroes even when their actions were clearly in the wrong.

Just as how I didn’t like how our heroes were allowed to get away scotch free with their heinous actions for the most part. I was hoping that by the time they got to Atlas Kingdom, they would’ve been accosted for their crimes in Argus---a feat that was teased at the start of the season after the Ace Ops arrested them for illegally entering the kingdom via stolen airship as one would’ve expected to happen.

But this moment was short-lived because right after being arrested, our heroes were immediately allowed to go free by Ironwood. Not only that but Ironwood appeared to be more amused by our heroes’ attempts at thievery as means of getting to Atlas…in spite of his so-called “paranoia” and “fears” according to what Pietro told the group after they first met.

Even the consequence of having Ironwood turning his back on them as punishment for their actions was short-lived since right after that very episode, our heroes managed to once again evade their “due comeuppance” by having Team RWBY defeat and totally mop the floor with the Ace Ops in a duel that I still have mixed feelings about since I actually wanted and expected Team RWBY to lose that battle.

To have Team RWBY feel the consequence of losing Ironwood as an ally as a result of their own actions only to have them “get away with it” again in the form of defeating the Ace Ops

For me, I was hoping that Team RWBY would’ve easily been apprehended by the Ace Ops---y’know have Marrow instantly use his semblance to freeze them in place long enough for Vine to use his semblance to pin down all four girls while all Harriet and Elm would’ve had to do was slap the gravity cuffs on them without the need for any needless battle. Imagine having Team RWBY be easily made powerless with only the guilt that they brought themselves to their own demise riding on their chests. To me, this would’ve made Pietro and Maria’s interventions feel all the more momentous in some way.

I guess what I’m mainly trying to get at here is that I just wanted a moment where Team RWBY could’ve all been able to look back and reflect on how wrong they’ve been this entire time. My beef right now with the way how things are going is that our heroes have more or less grown somewhat arrogant in their own actions---they believe that what they’re doing is always the right thing even when it clearly isn’t.

It bothered me so much how Ruby just reacted to Ironwood turning on Mantle alone without even considering that she more or less contributed to this outcome. It bothered me during V7 and it still bothers me now.

It still bothers me how JNR_RWBY all went forward with the “hive-mind” decision to lie and withhold important information from Ironwood despite Pietro’s prior warnings regarding his current mental state and paranoia over being betrayed by “one of his own” in the Fall of Beacon. Not only that but it bothers me how they still chose to be deceitful after everything that happened between them and Oz.

They did the exact same thing as Oz and what irks me is that the narrative tries to make it seem as if Team RWBY were still in the right for their distrust towards Ironwood when in the reality, they’re NOT.

If there is one thing I’d like for V8 is for someone outside of our hero team to knock them all off their high horses and pull them up for the trouble they basically planted everyone in.

It’s for this reason why I’m still banking on our heroes taking refuge with the Happy Huntresses in their hidden hideout. I have a strong feeling that this might happen especially since Robyn was last seen assisting Qrow before the two birdies were captured.

It would be great to spend some more time with the remaining Happy Huntresses---May, Johanna and Fiona. Not to mention it would be interesting to see how well their personalities clash with certain members of our hero team especially after what went down in Ironwood’s office. It wouldn’t surprise me if certain Happy Huntresses---like May and Johanna perhaps---may be reluctant to working with JNR_RWBY after what happened to Robyn. They might even blame them for her imprisonment. It’s at this point where I’m expecting Fiona to help be the glue that holds everyone together. Who knows? Maybe she and Ruby might get along…unless the sheep ends up eating the rose; referencing the term from the Little Prince story.

Either way, I want to see the Happy Huntresses interact with Team RWBY mainly because I’m hoping that they would be the ones to finally pull them up for their actions. With Oz, not only did he have to suffer through a moment of all his skeletons being revealed but he also had to deal with the shame, guilt and pain of having those who once placed their trust in him turn their backs on him all at once.

Personally, I wish the Writers had gone a different route. Like instead of having our heroes mimic the same actions as Oz; imagine if…our heroes had told Ironwood the truth about Salem from the beginning but still wound up in the same predicament where they are forced to flee after Ironwood had turned their backs on them and Mantle; revealing that no matter which path they took, it still ended in the same results. Therefore there was no easy road to take---the only difference is that Oz’s method allowed for things to be prolonged for a little longer while our heroes’ method sparked things a lot faster? Y’know what I mean?

I dunno. For me, the way the canon story handled things wound up painting our heroes more as hypocrites; at least from my perspective.

They made such a big hullaballoo over Oz not disclosing the whole truth to them last season only for them to turn around and commit the same actions as him in the face of Ironwood. So when Oz did it, he’s labelled as the one at fault but when Team RWBY does it, they still get to be portrayed as our “noble and just” heroes? What?!

What bothered me about Team RWBY is that even after seeing what their deceit led to with Ironwood; they all seemed to still act as if Ironwood is the only one at fault with little regard for the fact that it was their actions that unintentionally brought Ironwood to this breaking point of his.

The only reason our heroes are currently labelled as traitors in Ironwood’s eyes is because they all committed actions that showed them betraying the trust that Ironwood extended to them. And what’s worse is that they had no right or reason to distrust Ironwood in the first place.  

I’m sorry but it bothers me so much how the show seems to be validating JNR_ RWBY’s wrongful actions particularly in these last two seasons. At least with Oz, there was a tinge of remorse for all that he had to do to prevent everyone from losing hope in spite of what appears to be a fight for a desperate cause. But JNR_RWBY? I don’t feel remorse from them. Only arrogance and its bothersome to watch.

As an audience member, I’m supposed to root for our hero characters to win every fight since they represent the side of justice. I’m not supposed to be hoping that the heroes would lose big time just so they could FINALLY be roundhouse-kicked off their high horses and have some sense be knocked back into them since their recent motives have been problematic.

In spite of all that’s happened, I personally don’t think that Team JNR_RWBY have really felt the same level of consequence as Oz did. Even with Ironwood turning on them, they still had allies to back them up such as Maria and Pietro and Penny too.

Where’s my moment of someone yelling at JNR_ RWBY, telling them off that what they did wasn’t okay? Where’s my moment of JNR_RWBY finally realizing the huge wrong in what they’d done? Where’s my moment of them realizing that they REALLY F***ED up?

Who knows? Perhaps the alleged “death” of a certain lost soul might provide the catalyst to spark this type of moment for me.

Either way, I’m still waiting on that and until I see it or something remotely close to it, that’s pretty much how I feel about everything. I’m sorry if my opinion sounds negative or overly- critical. I’m not trying to be and it’s cool if you disagree or feeling differently about it. But this is generally how I feel on this subject, fam.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)  

[modernwizard]

Reasons I love Dhawan Master #47: He’s neurodeviant!

In no particular order, here is an illustrated list of reasons I love Sacha Dhawan’s Master, most of which boil down to the way that Sacha Dhawan so expertly embodies the Master to such a degree that we can look  into this character’s mind as we never have before.

Find my full series under the HELP I WUVS HIM tag or at the why I love Dhawan Master tag.

Read more about my version of Dhawan Master/Thirteen [plus fam] in The Happy Famverse, a series of comic shorts about the domestic lives of [extended] Team TARDIS.

#47: He’s neurodeviant! Yes, I am using that particular word, rather than “neurodiverse” or “neurodivergent” or “neuroatypical,” for a reason. “Deviant” has long been a code word for “anything the people in charge don’t approve of,” including one’s intelligence, one’s social interactions, one’s sexuality, one’s abilities, etc., etc., etc. As an extension, it’s also associated with iconoclastic rebellion and often stubborn adherence to something contrary to the mainstream. I think that the Master [generally speaking, but especially this one] would glorify their renegade spirit and other condemned traits by turning the term “deviant” into one of pride. So that’s why he’s neurodeviant.

In this case, “neurodeviant” means “possessing and using a neurotype, brain style, thought pattern, and/or means of self-expression that’s rather uncommon.” I’m sure it’s pretty obvious to a lot of readers already that he is neurodeviant [just as it was pretty obvious to a certain number of you that he finds choking a turn-on], but I don’t care. I start from the basics and prove those so that I can work my way into more complex arguments.

Evidence for the Master’s neurodeviance is all over the place. Here are several key examples, though this is not a comprehensive list.

He has a conversational consciousness. See #34 [his reaction to Thirteen’s TARDIS] and #11 [his mind at work].

He acts everything out. See #46 for an in-depth example.

He has a variety of behaviors particularly associated with neurodeviant self-expression, stimming, coping, etc., including, but not limited to the following: nonstandard eye contact [see #42], saying “Ooooh” [see #38], baring his teeth [see #33], repeating things [see #31 and #28], headbanging when frustrated [see #27], rocking when excited [see #14], brainfingers [see #12], dancing/clapping when excited [see #3], and his vibrating when angry [see #2].

I want to know why the Master is neurodeviant. Why did Sacha Dhawan and the showrunners decide to make this version of the character so obviously neurodeviant?

I have two possible answers, one from the showrunners’ perspective, one from the actor’s. From the showrunners’ perspective, the Master has always been mad, insane, nuts, crazy, mentally ill, whatever. The character’s mental traits have also been inextricably linked with their cruel, immoral actions, suggesting that the Master is a nasty sadistic person because of their mental traits. In the showrunners’ minds, crazy = evil. Furthermore, neurodeviance, according to them, isn’t so far from insanity. Neurodeviance = crazy = evil. In this interpretation, the showrunners may be using the Master’s neurodeviance as a [crappy, horrible, wrong, ableist, bigoted] attempt at explaining his mean-spirited, coercive, sadistic actions.

From Sacha Dhawan’s perspective, things might look a bit different. He writes openly on Instagram about having Crohn’s disease and chronic anxiety. He doesn’t discuss Crohn’s a lot, but he does mention that its symptoms can be disruptive. He goes into a little more detail about chronic, debilitating anxiety, how it distorts his thoughts, and why it’s important to bring this subject out in the open so that people don’t feel so ashamed about it. In other words, he’s intimately familiar with health limitations/chronic pain/physical disability, as well as mental pain and suffering/mental illness/unfun ways in which your brain messes with your head. It’s possible that he plays the Master as neurodeviant because he has some familiarity with uncommon physical and mental conditions and wants to draw on those to represent the Master realistically and sympathetically, at least as far as neurodeviance is concerned.

I see both possible answers at work when the Master’s on the screen. Sometimes he’s just an insane megalomanaical dipshit with dreams of creating a new race. Sometimes that perspective even affects the actors. In an interview with Sy Fy Fangirls, Sacha Dhawan talks about surprising Jodie Whittaker and gang with the revelation on the plane that O is the Master. He says, “That was the first time Jodie and the cast and crew had actually seen me as the Master and how I was going to do it and they were like, ‘Wow, okay. This guy's crazy.’“ Hey, it’s the nuts = evil = nuts equation in practice!

At the same time, I also see the more empathetic perspective. Indeed, in the same interview, Sacha Dhawan described the character as “stooped [I think this is supposed to be “steeped”] in history and emotion, which is what I wanted to bring to the surface. By doing that, I think the audience, as much as they hate him, will also sympathize with him and feel for him.” [Sidenote: Obviously he was unfamiliar at this point with just how much certain people love the character and will side with any version for various reasons.] And I see that emphasis on history and emotion, as opposed to batshit evil, in Sacha Dhawan’s performance. I see that in the way that he performs the character’s neurodeviance consistently, meticulously, realistically, and, as far as I can tell, respectfully. Rather than a source of comedy or an explanation for the Master’s cruelty, Sacha Dhawan tends to portray the Master’s neurodeviance as a neutral aspect of the character. That is so fuckin’ rare these days that I have to write rapturous essays when it happens.

@natalunasans @spoonietimelordy @queen-of-meows @sclfmastery

[fasa-umich]

Bea Fandiño, FASA 2020-21 Co-President

One Last Time

We’re gonna teach them how to say goodbye...

3/19/2021

Wowee, what a whirlwind of a year. These past twelve months have been filled with so much to be proud of—I even started a list of “Proud Mom Moments” last May so I could document all the small triumphs worth recognizing. It’s as if I’ve been planning out this testimonial since my election into the Co-Presidency, so I only laugh as I try to put all these thoughts to paper the day after my testimonial was supposed to be done (sorry ading Janielle—Filipino time, am I right?).

“Pick up a pen, start writing.”

I want to start off by saying that this year was not easy. It wasn’t for anyone. Our board came into our tenure hitting the ground running, full of visions and concrete plans for FASA, only to have them thwarted time and time again by circumstances out of our control. Let it be known that if this was a normal year, our board would have absolutely crushed it. x1000.

But it wasn’t a normal year. And you know what? We still crushed it. We changed the game. And while it can be so easy to focus on what could have been, doing so would distract us from celebrating everything that was.

This was the mentality Izzy and I pushed at the onset of the summer. Yes, FASA has traditions. There are certain aspects of our programs that everybody loves and expects to see each semester. But FASA is also dynamic. Every year, boardies are challenged with finding the balance of upholding tradition while trying new things and pushing the boundaries. And with the nature of this year, there was no better time to challenge ourselves to do the latter. Because we wanted to do more than just “survive”—we were ready to reach new heights.

Pinay Power looking fire as hell

So what exactly was FASA this year? If I had to choose one word, it’s resilient. Bouncing back after each hurdle, our boardies refused to give up on this org; as did our members, who stayed with us through it all. PCN can’t happen in person? Cool, let’s turn it into a frickin’ MOVIE. Can’t have big group gatherings? Okay, let’s leverage our FAM’s to build stronger small-group bonds. Can’t travel to external orgs? No big deal, let’s organize virtual discussions with our Michigan Philippine Student Associations and our fellow Latinx friends on campus. Even in the face of adversity, FASA resiliently remained rooted in culture, tied together in family, and strengthened by our dedication to the community.

Pop quiz: What are the three ~pillars~ of FASA?

None of this could have been accomplished without the perseverance of our board. Without Janielle’s commitment to high quality. Sean’s willingness to ask important questions. Josh’s contagious, positive energy. Kris’s flexibility and open mindedness. Christine’s constant, uplifting support. Lauren’s willingness to step up for anyone and everyone. Angelina’s dedication to collaboration. Jason’s careful consideration for vision and purpose. Jolene’s innovative ideas. Estelle’s passion for navigating cultural discussion. Kate’s constant communication and initiative. Sam’s critical eye when we’re overthinking things. Kaitlyn’s honesty with what she believes is best. Izzy’s never-ending drive to make sure each person feels heard and supported. To my boardie family, you are an absolute inspiration. Your work ethic is unmatched, your care invaluable, and your determination a force to be reckoned with. It has been a true honor to work with you, to learn from you, and to be your friend.

“And I know we weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way for no one.”

When people ask me what my favorite aspect of the Co-Presidency is, I actually find a strong parallel with my past experience as Performance Chair. In performance, you get to see people grow throughout the year, building up unique confidence and boldness through cultural expression. As Co-President, I had the honor of seeing that growth extended as I watched those same individuals rise as leaders and come to own their position in FASA. Through the trials and successes, to be granted a front-row seat in that journey is a privilege, and I thank each of my boardies for letting Izzy and me join along for the ride. We definitely took a more hands-on approach this year (hopefully you didn’t get too sick of us, lol), and with that, an even deeper understanding of the efforts and motivations of the people who make it all happen. And being challenged to make the tough calls, actively listen to what people have to say, take action to move forward, and use my voice to stand up for what I believe in, I learned just as much from my boardies as they (hopefully) did from me. Even as Co-President, there is always more FASA and Filipino culture to explore, as well as more to learn from those around you.

“I wanna talk about what I have learned, the hard-won wisdom I have earned.” -Boomers

On that note, FASA would not be standing so tall—well, as tall as a Filipino can be—today if it weren’t for our general members. To my first years: Your energy is what kept FASA fueled this entire year. To my sophomores: Thank you for sticking with us, engaging with our programs, and keeping FASA a part of your life. To my alpha dings juniors: Literally, I can’t imagine life without you. To my grad student population of ~2 (and growing!!): You are history in the making! Keep the momentum going! And to my seniors: I’ll save the sappy goodbyes for when you leave my life forever in a month (mom and dad, I already know I’m gonna cry and you’d best believe I’m bringing you down with me). But in all seriousness, your constant support over the years has shaped FASA into the community we know and love.

Like I said before, FASA is dynamic. It’s ever-changing. But even if the FASA 10 years from now is different from the FASA we know today, the impact we have made on each other’s personal and cultural journeys remains true. That’s the beauty of this family—stripping away the official title and positions, at the end of the day, we’re all just defining our own Filipino American experience together. And though FASA will continue to change, that personal impact is something that will stand the test of time.

“No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apart...I just wanna be with you.”

Okay yeah yeah, I know I’m a sap, just let me be Feelings Chair for once. Before I wrap things up, there are a few people I want to acknowledge:

Mai-Ly and Elisa: X FAM BEST FAM!! Seriously, you should be incredibly proud of yourselves as FAM Heads. X FAM broke records this year, and I could not be more happy with the top-tier music videos, hella extra [exclusive] merch (other fams be jealous), COASTERS (lol), and overall stronger fam. Thank you for putting up with my sometimes overly Type A agendas and being so flexible amidst the craziness.

Kris and Josh: Long! Live! FASA! Performance! You guys were faced with a lot of difficulties this year. But in the end, you kept performance not only alive, but also fun and something members looked forward to, whether virtually or in-person. I am so incredibly proud of you and honored to have been your dancer :).

Izzy: The Isa to my Bella, the Pierogies to my Beaf. Thank you for being the absolute best co I could possibly ask for and the most amazing friend in the world. You challenged me to keep the big picture in mind and were integral in helping all of us (especially me) balance hard work and fun. As someone easily caught up in the grind and instinctively expecting others to be the same, you kept me in check and indirectly reminded me to take a breather and make sure board was enjoying what they were doing. I will forever have a love-hate relationship with our three- to six-hour calls, and you will always have a spot in my GCal for a Thursday night meeting-turned-dinner-turned-therapy session. It baffles me to think that we weren’t that close before 12 months ago. Thank you for being not only my inspiration as a leader but also my constant as a friend.

Team Isabella 4 Life

So where do we go from here? Admittedly, we couldn’t do everything we wanted to do this year. Izzy and I had a vision for FASA, and it can get discouraging when you’re not able to see your vision through. But at the end of the day, we had to accept that we might not be able to reach the end-goal. If the best we could do right now was focus on the present, make the most for our current membership, and set FASA up for future success, then we were gonna give that our all. And if the INCREDIBLE drive and work ethic of our Interns is an indicator of anything, I have full confidence in the passion, leadership, and people that will continue to join our organization and further its growth. FASA is in good hands—I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

“Your position is so unique.” “So I’ll use it to move them along.”

Looking back on why I ran for board in the first place my freshman year, I remember wanting so desperately to be able to give back to an organization that had given me so much. Thank you, FASA, for giving me the opportunity to do just that. Whether as a general member or Performance Chair or Co-President, I hope I’ve been able to create that safe space that makes FASA feel like home. I said it last year, but I will say it again—FASA, thank you for trusting me. It’s been an honor growing with you.

Mahal na mahal kita,

Bea Fandiño, FASA Co-President

[smartguyreviewed]

1x7 - A Little Knowledge

Original air date: May 7, 1997

Hello there, friends. How are we holding up during these “unprecedented times?” I am currently holding up by pretty much being high 18/7, not sleeping and obsessing over a show that pretty much nobody talks about because I am that bored.

Really, I do want to thank anyone who takes the time to read this blog and/or drop a like. I started this blog because I enjoyed reading reviews of Lizzie McGuire and Boy Meets World. And then I thought of how not that many black sitcoms are pretty much ever really discussed. I watched Smart Guy so much when I was a kid but didn’t realize how important it was to even be watching it because we had so many other black television shows during my childhood, the complete opposite of how it is now. I always thought about even making a YouTube channel reviewing that black ass nostalgia that I love so much, but since I’m in the ugly phase of growing my starter locs, I figured I’d blog for now. 

Alright! There’s my intro. I really did mean it, but I had no idea how else to segue into the opening for this episode. By the way, if anyone is a super meticulous asshole and thinks the numbering of the episodes is off, I was honestly confused because Disney omitted a whole ass episode of the show, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the numbering of the episodes is different here but nowhere else on the web. The first season is already less than 10 episodes, so whatever.

Okay, so we open to Floyd about to do his books but he needs the little precocious calculator to help him out. This triggers me because I still have not done my taxes even though the deadline was extended. Luckily, it doesn’t appear that the Hendersons have any timely bills due but they are broke. After TJ adds up all the numbers, Floyd sees he is definitely not in the black. 

Because the episode is about money, naturally, both of Floyd’s grown children need pricey things all of a sudden. Yvette comes down and asks for a coat to replace this...thing that she’s wearing because it’s clearly ill-fitting. Floyd says he can buy her a new coat, as long as she’s not particular as to which winter she gets it in.

Up next is our Marcus, asking for something totally egregious. At least Yvette was asking for weather appropriate clothing. Marcus is asking Floyd for a $1500 bike. And now I’m confused. Why the hell would Marcus of all people need a bike? If he’s really trying his damndest to get the girls, I thought the band alone served that purpose. Regardless, Marcus needs it and he’s a teenager so the world is going to end tomorrow if he doesn’t get this deathcycle of his. He even tries to manipulate his dad by showing him a photo of Floyd on his bike. I actually think it’s cute how Floyd lights up at the sight of younger him. Maybe he met his deceased wife during these years? 

Floyd breaks out of memory lane and reminds Marcus that he, a human parent, wants the finer things also, including the chance to see his old friends at his high school reunion but that doesn’t seem to have a snowball’s chance in hell of happening. Yeah, because Floyd has to put food on the table for a woman and three guys (yes, I’m including Mo and guys eat a lot and I don’t wanna hear shit about how girls eat a lot too because guys just eat more and that’s a fact) and school all of his children. No room for the finer things.

He then says that Yvette and Marcus can buy what they want but simply have to get jobs. Marcus balks at the idea and says he wouldn’t want work to interrupt his studies. Yvette and TJ have a nice little kii over this since hahaha “Marcus is dumb,” hahaha.

We cut to TJ in his room attempting to strategize ways for the Henderson clan to save money while watching a bootleg version of Jeopardy!. Marcus comes in on the phone with Craig, the guy selling the bike, and convinces him to not sell it, even though Marcus only has 4.2% of the funds. Yvette barges in and is pissed at her annoying little brothers for not unlocking her door when they’re done with the bathroom. See, they share a bathroom in this episode. In another episode, Yvette gets her own bathroom built...somewhere because she’s tired of sharing with them. This bathroom is never mentioned again. In another episode, Marcus temporarily moves to the attic. I just wonder exactly how the Henderson house is built because it seems like there’s so much space yet so little space? 

The boys aren’t listening to Yvette however, because she stank. She credits this funk to the job she just got at the Cluck Bucket, “yanking the gushy stuff out of chickens,” as Marcus eloquently puts it. She brags, saying she makes $100 a week, which is obviously $1000 a week in 90s money. 

After TJ proposes that Yvette cut Marcus’s hair, Marcus realizes TJ is attempting to optimize their family’s finances. TJ really is doing a lot for a 10 year old here. Normally, he’s being extremely rude to them, but in this episode, he’s trying to use his intelligence to fix a problem that he has no business worrying about. Clearly, this intelligence is a gift and a curse. I’m about to be 29 and I worry all the time about things I can’t even control along with the things I can. Imagine being 10, gifted AF and stressing only about adult things you can’t control.

Marcus actually delivers good advice this episode, most likely unbeknownst to him. He commands TJ to turn off his brain and stop worrying because this is something he can’t fix. And Marcus is right. A 10 year old has zero reasons to be trying to balance the family checkbook. It would have been better if he threw a Gameboy at him and told him that’s his homework instead.

But this is TJ and he is the determinator AKA hard-headed. Bootleg Jeopardy! is about to end but the host announces a junior version of the show. TJ checks all the boxes. Youngster? Check. Living in the D.C. area? Check. In desperate need of $25k? Double check!

TJ and Marcus are back home and go over how they’re going to break the news to Floyd since obviously he wouldn’t have given TJ permission to audition if they asked. Floyd seems pissed at first when they tell him but Marcus makes sure to place emphasis on how TJ kicked ass. Floyd is proud now, even though a few moments ago, he was about to go full Papa Bear.

The next day, Piedmont is buzzing about TJ’s television debut but he’s confused because he only told his fam. We then cut to Marcus blabbing to some girl about how he can get her a seat next to him so she can give him a handjob on the sly. (Of course, we don’t even see said girl at the show.) TJ tells Marcus he didn’t want everyone to know because, understandably, now there’s more pressure on him. Marcus responds to this by putting even more pressure on him, telling Craig that TJ is going to win him the bike. Then he puts a damn anvil on it by telling Craig to raise the price to $1700 and he’ll just take the bike now. This will end well.

TJ, under immense pressure because the show is filming in 6 hours at this point (film/TV people, if you’re reading, feel free to say if this is even normal for it to move this quickly especially for an underage guest?), is up late at night studying his ass off and high off legal coke. He’s awoken Marcus who is wondering why on earth TJ would be up this early studying for a quiz television show that has a large monetary prize and they’re broke. He wants TJ to get some sleep by he’s in the zone because he had 20 cups of coffee. After a drug fueled rant, he just passes out. 

6 hours later and TJ is still high. Floyd chalks it up to nerves before TJ starts sprinting around the set. Marcus shows up, announcing he just chained up his new bike to a dumpster. This will end well. He checks in on TJ who is still coked up and not coming down anytime soon. His dad calls him over to meet the other contestants which include Dylan Roof and Yung Sharpay.

After the kids are ushered onto set, Floyd goes to the other hoity toity parents, bragging about their kids’ accomplishments. He dismisses them and says TJ actually has a life. Floyd, you dick! Afterwards, the show begins. The host is opening and says he believes that children are our future. Floyd and Marcus are backstage and in true black parent fashion, once TJ is announced, they lose their shit!

The game is now underway and Yung Sharpay and TJ are caught up. Dylan Roof is pretty much just there because he’s so far behind that it doesn’t even matter. Amy loudly tells TJ that he has a broken leg and they’re loading the shotgun because she just caught up to him. Of course, nobody heard this even though she was loud as hell. Also, racial implications much?

Yvette comes late in her work uniform and is hurriedly trying to tell Marcus a bit of info he’ll want to act fast on, but naturally, he shushes her to listen to the game that TJ is about to possibly lose. Yvette is also a petty asshole, so she doesn’t even try to tell him again. They cut to break and Yvette announces then that Marcus’s bike is gone. Turns out, locking it to a dumpster isn’t the best idea because some guy in a garbage truck stole it dragged the dumpster away. Marcus is pissed and lets slip that he paid $1700 for it which gets him in trouble because he just told Floyd that he was taking it on a test drive. Then the rest of the truth spews out. Marcus says he wanted something from the money TJ was going to win and oh mama is Floyd pissed because he naturally expects the worst from Marcus always and thinks he forced TJ to be in the competition which wasn’t even the case. Floyd tells Marcus he’s going to talk to TJ and warns him to “brace himself” for when he gets back. Yvette gleefully says she’s going to get chalk for his body outline. What did Marcus do to everyone to make them hate him so much? TJ does way shittier things than him and he’s still held in high regard. Hmm.

Floyd comes over to TJ to check in and lets him know that he’s aware of what’s going on. TJ, who has only consumed coffee and chocolate for the past few hours, is now dizzy. Floyd has to remind TJ that he has plenty of time to worry about rent and bills and student loans and credit card debt and finding a therapist and the pressure to have it “together” by the time you’re 30 which is crazy unrealistic. Good lesson and one of the few times I don’t wanna strangle TJ. Understandably, with the pressure off, TJ wants to dipset. The host, while seeing TJ and Floyd leaving, says they signed a contract so somebody needs to fill in for TJ. Cut to one of the funniest scenes in the show, hands down.

The question is how much did Thomas Jefferson, another TJ, pay for the Louisiana Purchase? This is word for word what Marcus-as-TJ says.

“Well uh, let’s see. In DC, the most you can take out of the ATM is $300 and you would wanna hold back a $20 in case something comes up, so I’m gonna say $280, Hugh.”

Yvette’s reaction says it all.

In the end, we see Yvette at the Cluck Bucket, putting on her functional gray pea coat that she probably got from Contempo Casuals or something. Marcus is the janitor now because he has to work off his debt to Craig and because remember, Marcus is a dark-skinned buffoon and couldn’t get the same job as Yvette for some reason. Whatever. I wonder what Yung Sharpay did with her prize money.

Stuff I Noticed:

- Yvette’s jacket. What is this?

- Marcus’s face for Lil’ Dylan and Yung Sharpay versus TJ. I love black families.

White lady on the left does not approve.

- No Mo this episode! :(

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

New? Read here! Then here!

Chapter 11: Don’t Rain on Me By Joji

Things weren’t as tense as I thought they were gonna be. I really did hurt my own feelings! As for the group punishment, Aunty Mimi didn’t fuck around and worked us until we cried. My body hurt so much that the showers I took stung.

-5 days before returning to the dorms-

I finished my shower and saw that it was just mom and I at home. She was in her office, laying on the day bed. I’ve always wondered why there was a day bed in here and why it was facing the window. But the scene was nostalgic to me, so I floated over to lay next to my mom. Just like I did when I was little. When I put my weight on the bed, she sensed me and put her arms around me.

“How was your training mijo?” she asked softly.

“It was rough, she had us pull a semi-truck up a hill without quirks” I groaned “luckily it was just the truck part and not with the cargo part.”

“She’s going soft on you guys” she chuckled, pulling me in closer “at least it’s not wilderness training.”

“Heh yea” I looked up to see her calm face, eyes closed but awake and gently running her hand through my curly hair. It made me wonder if I really do share an image with her, am I going to look like this when I get older? If I grew out my hair, will I look more like her? The only way to tell us part are the tattoos on her torso... hmmm, that makes me wonder about her what her high school file said about her. “Hey mom.”

“Yes mijo?”

“Can you tell me about your tattoos?” I asked as I poked her shoulder blades “The two skulls on your shoulder?”

“Oh these ones?” she asked as she pulled down her wide neck long sleeve from the top, exposing the two tattoos “I got them before I came to Japan.”

“Why? What do they mean?”

She pointed to the one on her left “I got this one before I left home, it represents my culture. So I never forget where I came from.” She pointed to the one on the right shoulder “This one I got in Austria, where I did my basic training before going to my final destination. It represents the death of my old life, to remind myself that things will never be the same and that I have to mourn and move on at some point. To move forward with my new life but never forget those memories.”

I traced the one on the left with my finger, it was a sugar skull “Was it hard leaving home and everyone behind?”

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I did it because I loved my family and I didn’t want them to get hurt over my doing. My life was going well for me before, I even had a long term boyfriend” she chuckled and blushed “I planned to marry him when we turned 18 and live the rest of my short life with him, start a family after I finished college and see where things go from there. But I guess his dreams were shattered too.”

“Wow you had a plan and everything!” I paused to think of my next question “When why did you fall in love with dad? If you planned to marry the other guy?”

“To be honest, I thought I was never returning home. Life was overwhelming me here and I thought I was just going to be alone for the rest of my life” her face shifted into sadness “I cried everyday as I prayed for someone to make my days less lonely, someone who’d make me feel complete. It took a while to see that it was your dad but he did make me very happy, even if we were just friends.” Her eyes got dewy “Then I got the family I yearned for, and at that point, I didn’t mind if I never returned home. Because I made a home here with all of you! And that was enough for me.”

Her words moved me to tears “Even if we’re little shits?”

She laughed “YES! Attitude and all! I love all of you because you’re the little pieces of me that I love the most about myself. I could never hate my children, no matter how bad.”

“Then, what will happen if you get word you can return home?”

“Well, the plan was, that I go back and live with my parents. If my boyfriend was still alive, then I’d reunite with him too and pick up where I left off in my life plan.” She listed “But that was before I started the company, got married and had children! Now it’s more that I’d go for an extended vacation back home. Because the new ordeal is that I was going to retire at both my jobs, hand over the company to a replacement, go visit my childhood home and visit all of my family members to show that I’m alive.”

“Will you take us with you?” I asked, scared of what she might say.

“If you guys want too” she looked at me “I know your dad wants to, he said before we got married that he wanted to accompany me because he wanted to see all the places I talked about in my little childhood stories. But I don’t know if you or your siblings would, I guess it would depend if you’re in your careers or not by then.”

“What if you want to stay there?”

“We’ll see, I haven’t thought that far ahead” she put her chin on my head “one day at a time Iwata.”

“Hmmm, okay one more question” I declared as I felt that I was maybe annoying my mom “Why are we protected citizen status? So many people don’t know about your children and act all surprised that I exist.”

She shifted her arms and had more of my weight rested onto her “Remember the night of the incident? And how we hid in Mr Hitoshi’s house for a few days?” she started off “I was waiting until you were a bit older to tell you the full story, but here it goes. The home invaders hacked into the protected housing database to get my personal cell number, they called me as a distraction so they could break into the house. I knew right away that I had to protect you guys but I wasn’t at my best because I was still healing from giving birth. I alerted Jin and Mimi to take you and the others to safety because I was ready to lay my life on the line.”

“Why did you do it?” I choked up, now understanding what I saw that night.

“I said I was going to protect my family and that if it costed my life, then so be it. I kissed your father goodbye and he understood that I had to do what I needed to do. So while he gathered you guys in the nursery to await uncle Jin’s portal, I fought this intruder but he made the mistake to tell me his motive.” She choked up a bit, trying to keep her composure “He said that he wanted to take my children and I away for quirk experiments. That they were going through the quirk registry of the country of double quirked citizens, us first, then the Todoroki family. That didn’t sit with me, I fought even harder but I pushed myself too hard and ended up face down and backed into my doom. I closed my eyes coming into to terms that this was it but at least my family is safe. But then I heard your little voice shout for the intruder to get away from me, and I shot up to use the last of my energy to protect you. But it didn’t matter what I did, you defeated them with your awakened quirk, I just finished the job with a shot to the spine to cripple them.” She took a deep breath “I saw that you were going into catatonic state, so I picked you up and held you, staggering my way to the nursery with everyone else for the portal.”

“You’re alive because of me?” I realized.

“Yes mijo, and I’m so thankful that you did. I couldn’t imagine a life where my children lived without their mother and only with a father that knows nothing about raising four very rowdy kids.” Her body curled around me “I informed the commission of the breach and everything got tighter security. I took an extra step and put the protected status on all of my children. Everyone on the Japan data base with a double quirk was advised to do the same or choose one quirk to have on the registry. But you’re just like me in a way.”

“How?” 

“You rose to the occasion and fought to protect the ones you loved, even if the chances of losing were high. And at the end, you won but life will never be the same and you live with the trauma of that day everyday.” She answered “Now you’re stronger, smarter and still have your loved ones around you...history repeated itself.”

“Damn, it do be like that huh?” That part blew my mind.

“Yea, but now all I wanna do is continue this nap” she closed her eyes again “Stay awhile longer Iwata, if we pretend to be asleep when dad comes home, he has to cook dinner.”

“Okay” I chuckled and closed my eyes “I’ll stay.”

I was no longer conflicted about my thoughts on my mom. She’s incredible and loves her family so immensely! She isn’t an empress, she’s divinity, love reincarnate. My wish is to feel that much love someday, maybe I will when I have a family of my own.

-3 days before returning to the dorms-

“How are you holding up chief?” asked Hoshi as he came outside to where I was “Last day of punishment training eh?”

I was face down on my trampoline that I jumped onto because there was a layer of snow on it and my body felt like it was on fire “Yea, and I want to die.”

“Bet” He chuckled as they sat on the rim of the trampoline “I brought berry tart for some cafecito with the fam.”

“Ooh that sounds lit” I lifted my head up, savoring that cup of hot coffee with dessert “Are you staying over today then? Lili won’t be back until dinner time.”

“Oh I know, Lili doesn’t know I’m here” he gave me a look “I don’t plan on sticking around too long, I just came to drop off the invite to my dad’s wedding and some...other news.”

I squinted my eyes in suspicion “What other news Hoshi?”

“You’ll see over some cafecito” He kept tight lipped.

“Ugh fine!” I put my head back down. I hate it when I get those responses!

Mom finally came home and Hoshi set the table for a cafecito. He even made the coffee so we could all sit down at the same time.

“Okay now that I have everyone I wanted to talk to here” spoke up Hoshi as we were eating our slice of tart “You’re probably wondering why I gathered everyone here.”

“No” blurted Hanaka.

“Because you fucked up” blurted Tensei.

“You got a job?” blurted Mom.

“You’re getting top surgery?” I blurted.

“Oh! It’s because you’re graduating early in the spring?” Dad blurted with an arm chop.

“What? NO!” He said to disarm us “I don’t know what I was expecting from such an outspoken family! But I gathered everyone here because” he took a deep breath and just broke out in a deep blush and grin “Wow this is harder than I thought it was gonna be! Heh, I was hoping to ummm” He looked at our awaiting faces “Hoping if I’d get your blessing to marry Lili, because you’re all so good to me that I want to take the family name. Do you accept this trans-boy as your future-son/brother-in-law?”

The whole table was in silent shock...until Tensei spoke up.

“Imma say it” he forewarned “It’s about fuckin’ finally Hoshi, the family name is unexpected tho.”

“Oh Hoshi! Of course you have our blessing!” Mom said as she hopped up to give Hoshi a hug “But I have to agree with Tensei, it’s been long awaited, huh Tenya?”

Everyone looked over to dad, tears pouring down like waterfalls “Oh my baby is gonna get married! She’s growing up too fast” he blew his nose on his table napkin “I approve and just so happy for you two! It feels like last year she was still screaming to welcome me home from work, and last week like she just entered high school.”

“Oh babe, don’t cry” Mom comforted “you’re embarrassing the kids.”

“Seriously daddy, put the water works away!” huffed Hanaka “Every time we do anything new you start crying!”

“I can’t help it! I didn’t think I’d get to see the day my children get married!” Dad wipes his tears “Someday you’ll understand when you have kids of your own.”

And so we spent the rest of our time together prying details from Hoshi on when and where will be the proposal. He said he’ll wait until they both finish school because he recently got in touch with his mother’s estranged family and found out that there was some inheritance waiting for him and his brothers. So no matter if they get jobs out of college right away or not, they can live off the inheritance comfortably for a good 3 or so years. Good on them! Maybe thats what I’ll do with my money...what’s with this family and inheritance?

-Day of returning to the dorms-

I pack my bag and savor the last of moments of home comforts. I really didn’t want to go back to the dorms but I still need to take my hero final.

“OwO r u decent?” chirped Hanaka from the door “Hewwo? Mr. Obama? May I come in?”

I sigh tiredly “No, pewish.”

“Too bad we’re coming in anyways” Lili said before busting in like Big Bird in that one meme video.

“WHY CAN’T YOU TWO JUST OPEN THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?!” yelled Tensei from his side of the room, arm chopping “THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED!”

“Ugh shut up DAD!” said the girls in unison, mocking the arm chop.

“Why tho?” I asked, hand on my hip “I need to finish packing.”

“We just wanted to do one last thing before you go!” Hanaka said bouncing up and down.

“I’m not dying guys! We’ll see each other in like 2 weeks for the Welcome Estate Ball” I turned back to my packing “What’s so important that can’t wait until-”

“Iwa look out!” warned Tensei.

I looked back to see the girls mid pounce, giving me just enough time to zip toward the door “Thanks Tensei!”

“Don’t try to escape the dog pile Iwa!” taunted the girls, eyes locked back onto me “It is futile!”

“Save yourself!” Tensei stood in the way of the girls with arms out.

“No! Don’t sacrifice yourself foo!”

“I have already excepted my fate as bottom of the pile” said the little brother as the girls picked themselves up “GO!”

I nod and dash out of our room to escape the dreaded dog pile. Since we were kids, we did these really full contact contests to see who ends up on the bottom of the dog pile. It was fun at first but now we run in fear at the sight of a pounce! Anything goes in this game! We use quirks, fists, throw objects, use distractions...but the moment mom stops everything, it’s game over. I just gotta run outside and get mom to insure game over!

Lili does a front rocket flip to stop me from running to the front yard “You’re not going anywhere Iwee!”

“When the hell did you learn that move?!” I was semi-impressed but still in fear for my life “that was clean as fuck!”

“OOOOOOO! You cursed!” Hanaka called out from the stairs “I’m telling daddy!”

“You little snitch! You wouldn’t dare!” I gasped.

“Watch me! Here, catch Tensei real quick” she said before tossing her twin over the railing, then parkour’d down the stairs to the backyard.

I couldn’t let Tensei just fall like that, so I caught him with my telekinesis before he could hit the ground. But I made the mistake of turning my back on Lili.

“Got cha- oof!” Lili got sight teleported by Tensei.

“Go get mom!” said Tensei before slumping over “I’m done for, they gave me a mad ass wedgie.”

“I’ll avenge you brother!” I did my dramatics before running toward the front door again.

The front door opened “Sopresa puto! It’s me!” Hanaka said as she ran full speed “fell right into my trap!”

I didn’t have time to stop, both of us were going top speed! So we crashed into each other, followed by Tensei that got in the way to soften the fall, then Lili that was in the right place at the wrong time.

“I heard a thud and some Spanish cursing! What’s going on-” said dad as he opened the sliding door from the back yard, poor timing as he got bodied by the four body mass going a full speed. We all slammed onto the just defrosted grass that dad finished doing.

“Oh shit dad are you okay?!” asked Lili.

“This takes me back” groaned Dad with a smile “you kids would always dog pile onto me every time I was laying down in the living room when you were little kids.” he chuckled “No so little now! That knocked the wind out of me.”

“Tenya, is everything okay back there?” asked Mom as she came though the side gate “I heard some- phfffff!” she started laughing “Look at you guys! Piled onto dad like that!” She levitated us off one by one “One last house mischief huh?”

“Yea, we haven’t done all of the winter break antics” grunted Hanaka as she got peeled off me “And I really wanted to spend more time with everyone! Tensei doesn’t wanna always play with me, even if I ask nicely.”

“I’m busy with my band and debate competition cases! We can’t play arson all the time” Tensei defended himself “Are you forgetting that we start middle school in a few days?! It’s time we get a little more serious with our education.”

“Oh wow it’s like listening to a recording” giggled Mom, setting us down on our feet “Your dad would say that last line all the time when we were in high school! It sent me back to those days” she sighed lovingly and turned to face Dad “Remember those times when everyone teased you for calling me up to explain strategy homework?”

Dad turned red and fixed his glasses “It was a difficult subject! I was just doing everyone a favor by asking you to come over to tutor us.”

Lili caught on to his body language “Oh I get it~ You say it’s for ‘tutoring’ but you did it as an excuse to spend more time with Mom” she did her little smug face with arms crossed “You had a big dumb crush on her, didn’t you dad?”

“I- well- I didn’t know how else to spend the maximized amount of time with her” He turned even brighter red and cleared his throat “She was intelligent, charming and super talented. How could I not develop feelings? If only I wasn’t such a coward and confessed when I wanted too, things could’ve been so much different.”

“It’s true, but those what if’s don’t matter anymore” Mom smiled “because we’ve exceeded our wishes and daydreams.” She turned to us “Now, lets get back to what we were doing! Iwata has to leave soon and I don’t want to keep the staff waiting on him all day.”

I go back to finishing up my packing, now with all my siblings in the room on their crackhead shit. When I took my bags down to the driveway, they didn’t want me to leave. And of course Mom had to pry them off me so I can get in the car in peace. The drive with my dad was calm.

“Hey dad” I asked as we stopped at the first light “Did you really pick a fight with Mr Hitoshi over mom?”

“I did” Dad said with a hint of regret “I wasn’t proud of what I did, but I didn’t know how else to express my hurt feelings. Your mom hailed me as her chosen family and I wanted to always be by her side, through whatever life had in store.” We move again “Imagine my hurt when she hid her relationship and shared living situation from me, only finding out by chance. And it was a stupid thing to do, I pushed her away even though I very much still loved her. But we all made up before the wedding and I’m close friends with Mr Hitoshi and Nieto. We go on double dates and other couple things with them, it’s so much fun.”

I thought about my next question carefully “If mom did have a child when you reunited with her, what would you do?”

“Funny enough, I thought about it before I reunited with her” Dad smiled “I was willing to help her raise a child. I’d babysit, teach them things, tuck them into bed... everything a parent would do. I wanted to show your mom I’m capable of providing and nurture, I really wanted to be as much as a man as I could be for her.”

“Did you show her all that?”

Dad chuckled “I didn’t have to try very hard! She had forgiven me way before we reunited and revealed to me that she had always had feelings for me” We turn into the final stretch of street before the dorms “But it felt so lovely to finally say it and have them reciprocate the feeling. I knew from then on, I’d never let her go and be outward with my feelings. Everyday I wake up next to her and think about how much I don’t deserve such an incredible woman nor the family that we made” he looked at me “But I guess I’m worth it.”

“Even if we’re disobedient, rowdy, weird pieces of shit?!”

“Yes, because life would be boring with out all those traits to balance my traits out!” Dad turns into the dorm parking lot “Well Iwata, you really threw us in a loop this winter break. Do your best on your make ups.”

I look at the dorms and take a deep breath “I’ll do my best, thanks dad.”

I waved him off until he was out of sight, then I took my bags into my dorm. Nobody was back yet in my class, mainly because our winter training was canceled due to the villain attacks back in September. I put all my things away and see the empty bed in my dorm. It made me miss Beizu, we’ve never been separated like this before. It’s about 2:45pm and I couldn’t delay my test any longer, to the hero dorms I go!

“Iwata! So nice to see you back in one piece!” beamed Mineta sensei.

I cringed “Don’t tell me my mom told you what happened.”

“No your dad did” Sensei corrected me “I have to say, never did I think it would be you to push it too far. But your dad did the same thing when we were in high school” He hands me the written exam “Alright, take your time on this.”

The written exam wasn’t too bad and I got it done in under an hour. I was excused for the day because the physical part of the exam was going to take place in one of the practice gyms at school in 2 days. Before I could leave to my dorms, the usual clowns saw me.

“Yo Iida-kun!” greeted Gon “You’re back so soon?!”

“Yup, had to take my exams that I missed”

“I heard what happened to your relative” Kage said worried “Are you alright? Sorry about your loss.”

“We’re good, I just had to help with the arrangements” I said relieved that they didn’t know about the other shit “I learned a lot about family this break.”

We went in Gon’s room to chat “...so are you going to take the hero licensing this year?”

“I guess so? But it’s not like I’m going to see you guys there” I responded “Everyone has their license right?”

“No, three people didn’t pass” said Kage “So they’ll be joining you on that.”

“Does that mean you’ll be in the sports festival too?!” Gon jumped excitedly.

“I’m still not sure” I gestured to have him calm down “I don’t want to do an internship for hero work and I don’t want to be on the scope for these villains. And don’t act like that’s not the reason why y’all get attacked on the regular!”

“I guess you have some reasoning there” Gon pondered my words “But imagine you kicking ass out there?! You’d easily get in the top 3!”

“Yeah Iida-kun! You’re one of the strongest ones in the class!” Kage joined in on the hype “At least think about it.”

I looked at the two and slumped in my bean bag chair “Ugh fine I’ll think about it!” I groaned “Still gotta figure myself out though.”

“Like what?” asked the two in sync.

“I’m thinking about getting a support item for my legs” I pointed at my shins “Even after all this training, I still can’t get my legs to keep up with the kick of my arm engines!”

“That would be helpful” Kage looked over my arms “Still can’t believe you haven’t figured it out.”

-Fast forward, afternoon of the Welcome Estate Ball-

“...Your tuxedo Iwata-chan.” said a butler as he draped the formal wear on the bed “Anything else you might need before I go?”

“Thank you, that’ll be all!” I said carefully, not to sound too aggressive.

To tell the truth I’m freaking out about all this! It feels like I’m a prince or something and I’m about to get coronated. Thankfully Beizu agreed to come with me to the estate to take the edge off and be moral support.

“That bath is no joke! Like damn bitch you can live like this?!” Beizu said as he got out of the joint bathroom in a robe in my estate quarters “Ooh! The champagne and snacks are here!”

“Bei I’m freaking out!” I slam myself onto the bed “I’m no rich boy, I’m on this ironic lucky streak that’s becoming my literal nightmare!”

Beizu walks over to me with two glasses in his hand “Iwa, it’s not like you’re pretending that you own everything! Nobody hates you and you just gotta be yourself, as corny as that sounds, it’s true” he hovers the glass of champagne over my face “Lets get a little loose before we have to go socialize with your family.”

All my worries took backseat “Okay a few drinks, I don’t want to puke and embarrass my uncle.”

“To inheritance!” Beizu toasted as I sat up “May you live comfortably the rest of your life!”

I toasted and really thought about those words. Yeah I am going to live comfortably but I also want Beizu to be part of that lifestyle too. In between getting whisked into conversations and having to order servants, I try to get some quality time in with Beizu. Yeah we dorm together but school is kicking our butts and we hardly have time for the usual hanging out. Finally there was a moment where we slipped away into the Lineage Hall for some peace and quiet.

“Wow, look at all the portraits” gasped Beizu “Fucked up eyebrows do run in the family!”

“Right?! Glad my mom has stronger, pretty genes” I chuckled as I led Beizu by the hand “This way! I want to show you something.” All the way at the end was four plaques “Here’s were my portrait will someday hang, alongside my siblings!”

“That’s so cool! When are you going to get yours done?” asked Beizu, taking a closer look at my plaque.

“I want to get mine done when I get married, ya know, so I can have couples portrait” I get a little choked up on my words and blurted “Hey Bei, would you be down to get married at 25 with me, if we’re both still single by then?”

Beizu froze and slowly turned to me, face flushed beet red “Wha?! You want to marry me?!”

“Why not? I trust you and I don’t care what others will say about it” I bring our hands together “Maybe it’s all the alcohol in me, but I want you to take part in these riches with me. You said you’d marry me when I told you how much I inherited, you might’ve been joking around but I mean it! Won’t you be part of my family and riches?”

Beizu pursed his lips to give it a thought “I’ll do it BUT I’M GOING TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE IWATA EL ROCA IIDA!” he posed and pointed at my nose “If by the time of the stroke of midnight on your 25th birthday and theres no ring on my finger, I’m going to propose in the most extra way that you’ll have to say yes.”

“Deal, I trust you’ll keep me accountable” I pulled them in for a hug “I don’t ever want to go through life without you.”

He brought his hands around my waist “That’s my line, silly” Beizu laughed as he rest his head on my shoulder “I don’t want to go through life without you too.”

We walk down the hall after our little moment to see my little brother having what looks like a mental breakdown. And just outside the window of the hall, in plain view, my parents were really going at it with the making out. It was just so weird looking at them making out like that when Beizu and I spent most of our first year of high school peeking into young mom’s romps with other boys. As for little bro Tensei, I’m sure it’s fine and he’s not on the brink of anything! He’s just a boy after all. Shiet, I’d breakdown if Hanaka was my twin sister too. Beizu and I just minded our business and re-joined the others in the main hall to drink a little more. I hope for more moments like these, then maybe life wouldn’t suck so bad.

-Chapter 11, End-

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