#tho arguably it could just be realism

[mommaghost]

*takes a lewd*

*hates it*

*doesn't delete it because what if i wanna know what i looked like in january of 2024?*

[hamstermastersamster]

I finished Koudelka and started playing Shadow Hearts again and . . .

Well xD SH is not as great as I remember. The weird thing is, though, that it's sort of exacerbated by having played Koudelka first.

I totally understand why Koudelka tanked. It looks like a Resi Evil on the outside but it's a random-battle-driven slow, turn-based RPG that explains absolutely NOTHING about itself and is very prepared to trip players up on unforgiving things like breakable weapons, weird RNG and needing a hard-to-find item to get anything but the worst ending. The game mechanics really kinda work once you figure them out, but most gamers wouldn't have given it that chance, not in the era it was released.

And it's a damn shame, because I really, really love it. The dark horror atmosphere, the soundtrack and sound design, the creature design, and . . . the cast.

Like, don't get me wrong, the cast aren't characters you'd make friends with. They are deeply flawed individuals whom you will actively dislike at times, but they are meant to be grounded in a level of realism and they are incredibly fascinating and entertaining to watch develop. Most of the narrative scenes that aren't FMV are actually just character interaction scenes, and they are presented with a real sense of craft. A documentary on Koudelka that I watched described the aesthetic as 'stage play' and they were so right.

The voice actors are clearly professionals and they do a really good job (even if none of them have British accents xD), despite the recording sound quality not being the best. But they dramatise and project like they're on a stage, and in what MUST be mo-capped or at least heavily-referenced animation the characters themselves move around the set and gesticulate and interact with it in unique, scene-tailored animations that bring them to life - no stock hand gestures, standing still and stilted hands-on-hips poses here (cough RE cough).

So no, the game isn't perfect, but its vibes and aesthetic and sense of stagecraft are, as they say, immaculate.

Then we jump to Shadow Hearts and . . . the levels of infantile JRPG trope smacked me in the face almost as soon as I got past the first few scenes. And that jump from playing Koudelka, with characters expounding on matters of faith and sincerely quoting poets like Byron and the narrative itself riddled with detailed, respectfully-researched alchemical and occult history . . . to anime fanservice 'pervy men are hilarious' and 'all gay men are lecherous perverts' jokes is a LEETLE bit jarring.

I wish I could say it was a product of its time, but the gay men perv joke trope was present as recently as Persona 5 so it's still pretty common in JRPGs. Sigh.

I can't say I didn't REMEMBER that SH leaned into lewd 'humour'. Of course I did, it's part of the scenery there. But coming from Koudelka, where the closest it got was seeing too much of the protagonist's underwear because of her short skirt and her incredibly funny, witty remark about "that handsome carpenter's son' made specifically to rile up the bigoted priest of the party? The writing, aesthetic and the atmosphere of SH are a definite downgrade in retrospect.

And it sorta makes sense to me because I knew that SH got arguably worse, but certainly aesthetically DIFFERENT enough to be off-putting over the course of its 3-game run. By SH2 it had strayed further and further from its horror roots, and SH3 had almost no horror and was just a mess of 'quirky' silly JRPG characters and all-out fanservice with a butchered Native American female protag who spent most of her time in eyeroll-worthy transformation sequences stark-naked.

Beyond that, SH reverts to cheaper stock character animations, 90% text dialogue and anime emoticons in speech bubbles (think sweatdrops and hearts) for emotional expression, and again, just . . . such a downgrade, aaaaa.

Koudelka really was something very special. I guess I'm just retrospectively sad all the good things about it got totally nerfed for SH.

It's okay, though. Sometimes the nostalgia goggles are wrong, sometimes you are a different person to when you originally played and liked a thing. SH isn't BAD and I will probably warm up to the cast again as I play. A bunch of stuff in it just hasn't aged well at all.

Soundtrack still slaps though <3

[btschooseafic]

BTS-A03 Hurt/Comfort

arguably, I would put most of the fics I read in the hurt/comfort genre, so... well, I tried to keep it to the fics where that was more of a major theme in the story. be aware that a lot of these fics have dark themes (mind the tags!). whether emotional or physical pain, it’s nice to have comfort

*completed*

Here Is What I Know by Oh_Hey_Tae [completed]

jungkook x namjoon, lil bit namjoon centric, soulmates au, soulmates writing shows up on each other’s skin, college au, hurt/comfort

okay, there is so much so good about this. even though it’s not the main focus, the platonic love between ot7 made me melt. namjoon’s panic attack was so relatable. the descriptions of jungkook’s drawings were beautiful.

Tell Me Again by Oh_Hey_Tae [completed]

yoongi x tae, college au, depression, ptsd, anxiety, deaf characters, mute character, neurodivergent character, friendship, roommates, hurt/comfort

yoongi falls in love with tae’s voice. / this fic was super emotional. I want to wrap jungkook in a blanket but he’d probably kick my ass for saying that… namjoon, as jin says is The Best Boy. they are all terrific friends tho, and at the same time human and flawed, and their flaws hurt themselves and each other but also help them understand each other.

When Night Comes by Oh_Hey_Tae [completed]

ot7, jungkook centric, supernatural creatures, polyam, college au, hurt/comfort

cool magic system with lots of different magical creatures. Jungkook is super lovable. the twist at the end was a little heart breaking? super emotional. very interesting plot wise.

Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae [completed]

jimin x taehyung x yoongi, witches, grief/mourning, depression, magic shop au, some soulmates au vibes, hurt/comfort

great chaptered fic! interesting world building! I love the descriptions of the magic. tae deserves so much love. if you’ve lost someone this might feel cathartic to read.

Cornerstone by vmkhoney [completed]

jungkook x jimin x yoongi, magic, threads of fate, neighbors au, jimin is a soulweaver, witches, hurt/comfort

Meritocracy by saylilirose [completed]

ot7 x reader, hybrid au, polyam, reader is a hybrid rescue person, hurt/comfort, politics?

this author’s fics have like… strong crack energy, and some elements that aren’t my cup of tea, tbh, but their word building and plot development is super strong

Growing Pains by glitterandgilt [completed]

ot7 (could be read as pre-relationship or platonic), idolverse/canon compliant, nice non-sexual intimacy, a/b/o dynamics, hurt/comfort

short fic with omega jin taking care of presenting omega jungkook.

Good Hands by glitterandgilt [completed]

ot7, jungkook centric, a/b/o dynamics, hurt/comfort

I love fics that play with the idea of what a ‘typical’ omega is. The focus on hands to express Jungkook’s identity struggles make this fic kind of poetic and pretty :) (and there’s a nice sequel fic as well that shows recovery is hard work but maybe still worth it)

The Perfect Color by sleepydrabbles [completed]

ot7, everyone x taehyung, taehyung centric, powers, futuristic, hurt/comfort

taehyung attracts nightmares. he meets bangtan, a famous group of nightmare fighters / very soft and poignant. great world building and emotional, poetic descriptions. loved that one scene with jk and tae in the rain.

Our Fake Omega by Sialucky [completed]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, jungkook has tramua, royals, violence, adventure, manipulation, action, polyam, a/b/o dynamics

jungkook gets off to a rough start with the others, but I love the way their relationship developed slowly over time, and everyone’s character growth together. tae’s part of the story in particular made me emotional.

Just Hold On by idyllic_hummingbird [completed]

ot7, pre-established, mystery, adventure, implied sexual content (but nothing detailed), trauma recovery, hurt/comfort, polyam, magical realism

people who have magical abilities are called Touched. they sometimes live together with Untouched in polyamorous love groups so they can take care of each other. ot7 are a nomadic love group who are camping out in a field when they find something unexpected/ okay, so the suspense is amazing. the caretaking moments are beautiful. the relationship is balanced.

To Build A Home by idyllic_hummingbird [completed]

ot7, polyam, college au, tramua recovery, coming of age, magic, magical realism

prequel to just hold on. they are both very good!

Seeking Solace by starchase [completed]

hybrid!hoseok x witch!jungkook, magical realism, hurt/comfort

I love how their relationship develops, all the friends that weave into their lives, and just their live style in general. jungkook introduces hoseok to ghibli movies, but this fic kind of feels like a ghibli movie :)

Your Wish Is My Command by CelestialSilences [completed]

ot7, polyam, sad backstories, pocket dimensions, mental health issues, loneliness, magical realism, witches, hurt/comfort

jimin meets taehyung, a cornerwitch. then jimin becomes a cornerwitch and the cycle continues. the ending of this fic surprised me, but I really liked it

let the light in by sharpa [completed] need an account to read!

yoongi x jungkook, jimin x taehyung, magic shop, college au, jungkook centric, found family, trauma recovery, magical realism

okay, so… this is so good. one thing I love, is although this isn’t polyam, it doesn’t dismiss that the love of the other boys is just as important as the romantic relationships. we’ve also got ace!jimin, it’s not a major theme in the story (although it’s still a lovely detail that does impact jimin’s character/life/relationship).

delta by sharpa [completed] need an account to read!

hoseok x yoongi, yoongi x hoseok x namjoon, jimin x jungkook, taehyung x jin, america, sexuality crisis, rapper/idol!namjoon, self discovery, miscommunication, hurt/comfort

namjoon hasn’t spoken to hoseok and yoongi for seven years, since he left them to start a solo career. when he is outed by dispatch, hoseok offers him his spare room in queens, new york.

leave the ruins where they fall by sharpa [completed] need an account to read

jungkook x taehyung, yoongi x hoseok, hoseok x yoongi x namjoon, jin x jimin, sexual assault, torture, slavery, caste system, royals, dystopia, magic, hurt/comfort, action/adventure, mystery

very dark dystopian fic. a gross society, but there is hope. and there is comfort

The Stigma of Singularity by Finnyan [completed]

ot7, taehyung centric, they’re all elves, curses, elemental magic, hurt/comfort

Taehyung blows out a candle in a tea shop, wishing to find the place where he belongs. Later he meets the other six, who want to help Taehyung break the curse he is under. / I love the relationships between the characters! the plot is interesting and exciting! the world building and magic systems are nicely done :)

someone(s) to come home to series by almostsophie1 [completed]

jin x yoongi, jin x yoongi x jungkook, polyam, ace character, tramua recovery, depression, anxiety, self doubt, domesticity

Underdog by whitesparrows97 [completed]

taehyung x reader, hybrid!taehyung, reader hits a dog with her car, doesn’t realize he’s a hybrid

Protection Squad by CheeWrites [completed]

yoongi x reader, hybrid!yoongi, main setting is a pet shelter

I like how the reader and yoongi help each other heal from their pasts

A Sea of Indigo by foxymoxy ♥ [completed]

Jungkook x reader, hybrid!jungkook, setting is a hybrid rehabilitation place

the world building and character development is great! I like the politics going on in the background. jungkook and the reader feel like real people. they have flaws and they struggle. however the story still has a lot of heart and hope :)

inside and out by aileron [completed]

taehyung x yoongi, roommates, hurt/comfort

taehyung moves in with the other six guys. he is invisible because he’s been mistreated. yoongi offers to be there for him. / the author mentions being inspired by that one moomin story. oh gosh that fits so well! love it!

i walked and reached the sea by poppyseedheart [completed]

namjoon x hoseok x yoongi, polyam, producer!yoongi, hoseok runs a bnb, kind of, hurt/comfort

namjoon is recently heartbroken and comes to stay at hoseok’s hanok, in what has been pronounced the slowest city in asia. / the healing vibes are really nice in this!

where things grow, there is hope by rayfelle [completed]

jimin x jungkook, a/b/o dynamics

jimin and jungkook meet at a support group for alphas who don’t fit the sexual norm. I love stories about people supporting each other in recovery! I think this is a pretty good representation of how both individual and group therapy can be, like, not too gritty and sensationalized, and not romanticized or sanitized either. yoongi and jin as supportive side characters are super sweet and good.

Please dry my eyes by minyoongirines [completed]

aroace!jin x hoseok, jin pov, friends to partners

jin and hoseok go on a date after having been friends for a while. they have a lovely time. jin thinks about what love means to him. / jin cries a lot, but the fic is so soft and sweet. the description of them thinking of a future together was lovely, and fits their dynamic well. 2seok being silly in a way that warms your heart is very on brand

*ongoing*

Precious Mettle by glitterandgilt [37/?]

ot7, jungkook centric, everyone x jungkook, polyam, supernatural creatures, magical house, overpowered seokjin, trauma recovery, fantasy, vampires, sirens

seokjin’s blood has been stolen and used to create a new baby vampire. jungkook has a mysterious past, but the others are ready to love and accept him anyway.

The Day He Grew Wings by sleepydrabbles [29/?]

ot7, namjoon x ot6, namjoon centric, hybrid au, dragons dragon!namjoon, soft, recovery

namjoon wakes up one day and finds he’s turning into a dragon hybrid. luckily his friend yoongi works to protect hybrids. / although there are a lot of painful moments, in general this writing is so soft and sweet. namjoon’s painful introspection is relatable, the way seokjin struggles to balance his different instincts is relatable, yoongi mourning his friend while still loving the new person he’s becoming is…

Safeguard by Skyfright, xsluvic [9/?]

ot7, ot6 x hoseok, hoseok centric, hybrid!hoseok, human!everyone else, polyam

hoseok has been through a rough time :( I hope he’s able to develop his sense of self worth so the others can shower him in the love he deserves

Powerless? by yukitenshi19 [23/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, superpowers, jungkook has a rough time :/, polyam

jungkook is used to being considered lesser than because he doesn’t have any powers. bts is a group of powerful people who fight crime. meanwhile, taehyung meets jungkook and wants to befriend him

Lost and Found by Namjoontunes [14/?] ot7 x reader, everyone is a supernatural creature, reader is a shapeshifter who comes to their house in the woods. the found family vibes in this are great! the reader is a soft and has had a rough time. I kind of want to wrap her in blankets and give her hot chocolate.

Under the Willow Tree by caramel_keks [7/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, supernatural creatures, trauma recovery, cafe au, overpowered seokjin ftw, polyam

jungkook is an imp, a creature considered less than all the others. he escapes his master and runs into the others, who are in a relationship.

Wildfire by oldmythos [12/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, vampires, trauma recovery, polyam

there are a lot of new vampire jungkook fics. i will probably continue to read a lot of them. lol. the world building in terms of politics and magic is interesting! there is definitely a mystery building.

Candles and Shadows by Sunny_Bih [19/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, kind of jungkook centric but the others get plenty of ‘screentime’ as well. particularly jimin so far, witches au, college au, jk has trauma, soulmate au kind of

jimin is a love witch, and has a certain amount of soulmates he needs to feed off of. he’s pretty sure jungkook is his last, seventh soulmate, which is weird, because he’s human… right? / the world building in this is so good. not all of the backstories have been revealed so far, but i’m pretty sure they all need blankets and hugs.

Better by hoshigakuruchokuzennoyuuhi [11/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, time travel, mental health, trauma recovery, polyam

please, please, please check trigger warnings! if you are able to read it, I think the depictions of the relationships in this fic (while not always the healthiest, which the author states straight up) really tug at my heart strings. mental health can be a struggle, and having a good support system is important

The Long Journey Home by WildfireStark73 [14/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, supernatural creatures, wizard!jungkook, overpowered!jungkook, soulmates au, trauma recovery, polyam

the popular jungkook is an overworked young adult who the others want to take care of trope (maybe i should make a list specifically for that trope… I might move some things around eventually to do that). this plot is super interesting! I’d really like to learn more about taehyung’s powers and backstory in particular.

My Deer, I’ve Got You by Purplemyheart7 [2/?]

ot7, ot6 x jungkook, jungkook centric, jungkook is a deer hybrid, everyone else is a magical being of some sort, polyam

idk, there are only two chapters so far. it’s cute tho. the setting intrigues me, also, i enjoy the pun title

Shaking the wings of their terrible youth by SilverLions [5/?]

ot7, vampires, new vampire yoongi, polyam

Folklore: The Jade Rabbit by Luminaraed [13/18]

jungkook x everyone, jungkook centric, namjoon x seokjin x jimin x taehyung x yoongi, hoseok x jungkook, dark themes, royalty, fantasy kingdom, war, slavery, assault, bunny hybrid! jungkook, polyam

okay, if you want to read this, be aware that there are some very dark themes, and detailed descriptions of… very sad and gross things. the author is very good at painting a picture with their words, and some of the pictures are just not pretty. please mind the author’s tags! that said, it is super well written, and the character development and world building are amazing.

hunger by tinytaehyungah (kittenmichael) [4/?]

ot7?, jungkook centric, vampires, new vamp jk,

not a lot has happened so far, but the descriptions are interesting and immersive, like the readers are along for the confusing ride with jk.

[thethirdamell]

hello! i've recently binge-read ur fic in like two weeks, which is crazy. 900k words and i somehow still managed to show up for work! i'm very much in love with it holly crap. i hope it's ok to ask some things tho? i was wondring, other than the obvious, is there any reason in praticular you chose for anders to keep what happened to him from amell? is it to give their relationship a change to grow naturally rather than just for amell to fix him? or am i reading into this lol. i'm so curious! ty!

Hello!

Thank you for reading! I’m glad you made it to work! (Two weeks? Wild!)

It is always fine to ask things. I love questions and talking about Accursed Ones. I’ve been working on this monstrosity for six years so I am a bit wrapped up in it. 

Realism

The majority of abuse survivors do not actually report their abuse for a variety of reasons. Fear, shame, not wanting their family and friends to know, not feeling that their abuse is important enough to report, feeling the abuse is too personal to disclose, feeling there’s no proof of the abuse, that the abuse wasn’t serious enough to report, that the abuse wasn’t really abuse at all, and overall fear of the person abusing them. 

In addition to all of the aforementioned reasons, recovery from abuse can take anywhere from days, to weeks, to months, to years depending upon the person. Even without considering the gaslighting, abuse survivors tend to have some fairly common responses, like PTSD, self-blame, isolation, anxiety, sexual concerns, etc. 

Working off of this, Anders speaks very little of his abuse in the Circle and what he suffered there beyond mentioning that he was in solitary for a year to the Warden Commander. When speaking with Hawke, he speaks in broad, but impersonal terms, and I suppose it could be argued that’s Justice influence, but I would argue it’s also a realistic response of an abuse survivor.

Sometimes it’s easier to tell some people, and not others. Some times you want to tell some people, and not others. Arguably, there’s no reason any abuse survivor should feel obligated to disclose their abuse in any detail to anyone. 

Narrative 

In the context of Accursed Ones, given that it follows Anders’ perspective, this particular arc is something of an abuse survivor story. While I love dark themes, I also want to make sure those dark themes are appropriately identified as being dark, and that they aren’t excused in the context of the narrative. Similarly, I want the positive aspects to be appropriately identified as being positive.

I do not believe an abuse survivor story should come with the caveat that the survivor must share that abuse to anyone for any reason. Sometimes someone already knows because they witnessed it (Fenris), sometimes telling someone is helpful (Nathaniel), sometimes you get outted and don’t have a choice (Franke), and sometimes it’s just not necessary (Amell). 

Amell is a little bit complicated because Anders’ behavior towards him was primarily - but not completely - a result of the situation he was in at the time. Anders is self-absorbed in a lot of aspects of his life (in AO and arguably in canon), and the major tension for their relationship came about as a result of Anders being so wrapped up in himself he didn’t consider Amell’s feelings... probably ever. 

That has nothing to do with Hawke, so there’s really no reason for Anders to address his trauma with Hawke to be forgiven by Amell. Amell also contributed to the problem with how much he allowed Anders and his general refusal to establish boundaries for himself. That said, the message isn’t that Anders needs to provide an excuse or even an apology to be forgiven, it’s just that he needs to change the behavior.

Relationship

From the context of the relationship it’s more important that they learn how to communicate as equals than it is for Anders to revisit trauma he fears would change Amell’s perspective of him. If Anders opened with his behavior being a result of trauma, Amell would have buried any of his own feelings, and had no character growth in learning to express his own needs. It also would have put a lot of strain and doubt on the relationship as to whether or not any emotions were genuine or simply born of sympathy on Amell’s part and escapism on Anders’.

The two of them are supposed to have each other on pedestals, and while that may never change, it’s important they be able to recognize there are people under the pedestals. If Amell came in and rescued/saved Anders from Hawke, the chance of Anders ever seeing him as a normal human being more or less goes out the window. I also wanted Anders to recognize that he can exist independent of Amell/anyone and be his own hero if the situation calls for it. 

All that said, I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say that at this point given Anders’ behavior Amell is aware he went through some form of sexual assault/abuse just given the way Anders has been acting and being a survivor himself. Finding out in bits and pieces as time goes on and little things are shared as the two grow more comfortable with each other is, hopefully, a more realistic and satisfying way to address it.

[ambitionsource]

First question: do you have more details on the family lives and back stories of the techies that you could tell us (or we will see)?

i can definitely talk about my fave crew of misfits! i’ll say i don’t think we’ll see much more detail about any of these family dynamics during ep runtimes, just because there’s already so much we’re trying to fit in and not enough time in the world (even tho yes we technically make the rules and can do whatever lol, but es and i do try to adhere to as realistic a tv structure as possible! it feels tighter structured that way)

so quickly i’ll just address dylan and asher, who are not as much mysteries as the other four techie tots just bc we’ve spent a little more time with them. i’m going to be exploring and introducing more of their family and those dynamics throughout the course of the dasher fic, so hopefully after a while they’ll feel as familiar as the rest of the front nine does in terms of their home lives. the short version is that asher is part of a nuclear family and is relatively well-off (they live comfortably, let’s say, given that his dad is an architect and his mom a tenured professor), and he gets along well with his sister lily. dylan lives with his dad and younger brother grant, and his mom passed away from cancer when he was about 6 - 7. his brother has resentment / a bit of a rivalry towards him that is pretty one-sided, but they do get along all things considered. dylan is very close with his dad. their family is firmly middle class and this doesn’t change until dylan starts bringing in substantial youtube coin at the end of high school.

jade is upper middle class and takes pride i think in leading a relatively average, calm life. she was raised by both parents, who are still together, and have a pretty stable marriage although they’re not the most romantic duo. this is where jade gets a lot of her realism from, not as prone towards romanticism or dreaminess even though she does like romance and would like to experience it one day (and can’t help but romanticize nigel). she is a middle child, with one older brother (ethan, 2 years older) and two younger brothers, jacob (3 years younder) and cody (6 years younger). this is part of why she is able to deal with the techie boys so well. overall she gets along very well with her family, and she’s lucky that her parents are highly supportive of her ambitions. her mother in particular loves her talents, because she’ll often make clothing items for her as gifts and then she can tell her friends when they ask about it that it’s “a one of a kind.” they’re definitely proud of her!

nate, as previously discussed, is low income. he lives with both parents but hardly sees his dad because he’s always out late working and exhausted when he gets home. he has two younger siblings, who he has a good relationship with but can often get sick of because of how often he’s asked to help babysit + entertain them when he’s a teenage boy and just wants to be doing whatever on his own time. so he’ll grumble a lot about his family, but he really does love them at the end of the day (despite mixed feelings about his dad, even though he knows how much he has to work isn’t his fault). because of having less disposable income, nate is the most money conscious of the techies for reasons other than being obsessive by nature (like asher). he in some ways thinks of himself as a hack in the aaa system (sort of like lucas, although not at all the same), because although he did have lots of interest in audio mixing and sound design and applied because of that, a major part of him applied to aaa just to see if he could get in and on scholarship. he never thought he actually would get in. although he’d never admit it, being admitted to aaa and meeting the techies was a very grounding and confidence-boosting moment in his life and helped put him on the right path for the future.

jeff is the second most secure financially of the techies after asher, though not too far ahead of jade. he is the youngest of three children, both already in college, though during S1 his sister was a senior at quincy high. his parents are arguably the most stable and truly romantic of all the techie parental units, giving him a realistic yet optimistic understanding of what a relationship is supposed to look like. his father has shares in a local community theater in brooklyn, and he’s highly involved in it, so jeff has been growing up around that world since he was a toddler. his siblings both had stints as actors in the local productions, and while jeff was never personally interested in performing, he loved hanging around the sets and observing the technicians. he started shadowing in the technician’s booth in middle school for extra credit + community service, but his mom noticed he had a real interest and knack for it, so it was her idea to research arts school and put him on track towards aaa. jeff is also the techie who has the best balance between aaa life and his former friends and community, as his main friend group is still predominantly his middle school friends which allows him a healthy detachment and outlet from the chaos of aaa that’s always ongoing.

dave, even to the rest of the techies, is a bit of a mystery. not in a purposeful way, like lucas, but simply because that’s how he is. he’s about dylan’s level of income, living with his mother in a cozy apartment in brooklyn. his parents are divorced, as they split when he was in elementary school, but the dynamic is amicable. his father was the more wealthy of the two, and his child support payments are what really keep the two of them afloat, but it never occurs to dave to grow bitter thinking about how he could give them more (as the other techies might be inclined to do). as far as dave is concerned, it is what it is. he spends weekends / vacations often with his dad in massachusetts where he now is settled down. although his home is far from the most lavish or exciting locale, the techie tots will hang out at his place relatively frequently, second to the orlandos as the go-to hangout spot. this is because there’s a den room that they can basically take over, and dave’s mom is usually home late because of work so they can kind of take run of the place. dave’s den is also the place the group of them will go if they wanna take some risks, like smoke weed now and then. although dave’s mom is still sort of distant from the group of them (not an agreed upon Group Dad, like randall orlando), she’s friendly with all of them and is always welcome to seeing them around when she comes home. dave’s presence at aaa is as much of a mystery as anything else -- he’s a great guitar player, and has always had a penchant for building and piecing things together, but no one can get a clear read on why he decided to apply to aaa, or what his application was like, or what he’s hoping to get out of the place. as dave once said, “sometimes, you just gotta go with it.”

-- Maggie

[crimsonrevolt]

Congratulations Snow you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Dirk Cresswell!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

It’s always so amazing to me that so many people choose to come back to Crimson and it’s such a joy to see your Dirk come back to life in your app! I know I speak for many when I say that you took a character that none of us knew much about and brought with him a personality that we couldn’t forget. It’s so good to see you again and that you’ve found the time to come back to the rp! Snow, your reason for choosing him, in particular, made me emotional, and I can’t wait to see you write him with a fresh breath of life! Hopefully, you’ll be able to carry him on a new and beautiful journey as the war progresses and affects him. I can’t wait to see you and Dirk back on the dash! 

application beneath the cut ( tw: brief mentions of death )

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Snow, 21, she/her, gmt+3

ACTIVITY

im going to well and truly throw myself into my studies this semester, and i’m also running an rp with a friend of mine on tumblr, so i don’t know how active i’ll be honestly. given how much i already love and adore every member of this group and all your characters, i’ll be able to find time. 6 or 5 out of ten, i think.

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

a promo blog about a year ago lol. i found this group way before it even opened but only applied like, months afterwards.

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

hm. my answer differs every time based on my mood i think. like i dont think there’s one character i really truly identify with? probably percy tho lbr.

ANYTHING ELSE?

nope.

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

dirk cresswell. well, a revised version of him.

FACE CLAIM

ezra miller. listen i tried to change his fc but ezra is dirk and dirk is ezra the line has been blurred for ages now it is beyond my control.

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

i’d thought of coming back with a different character and had gone through a host of them in the open tag. i’d considered someone on the other end of the spectrum to counteract the experience i’ve had playing dirk. i’d thought of playing someone balanced and sophisticated and well-mannered, someone with a little less emotion and a little more poise. someone who is not dirk, but dirk seems to have stuck himself all the way down to the roots and i can’t seem to get him out.

i cannot properly express in words how much i love this character. i’m floundering for the right ways to lay it out. he is a myriad of unlikely contradictions – kind, and just, and cruel. he is optimism and realism hand-in-hand, but he is just as much that as he is full of lies. half truths, denials, secrets. he is honest and genuine, and his intentions are as pure as those of a noble knight but he strikes quick, and fast, and merciless, with the harsh finality of an execution.

he loves openly. he is never shying away from expressing his love and devotion for his friends and family. he is never afraid of what his love for them would do to him, or to them – no, he is afraid: the fear of losing someone who’d rooted themselves into the crevices of his life is numbing, almost all-consuming, but dirk has never known how to not love, how to not be so open towards them so much of the time.

and even then, it feels, to him, as though he is never without something to hide. as though he is never not carrying a secret of some sort, as though there is always something he is carefully folding to the side throughout his life, as though he has never been fully honest with another person before. the thing is, he is always open about the good parts of himself – he is loud and obnoxious about his love and his optimism, he is blazing and boisterous about his successes and achievements. he is almost always alone in his losses. he has become terribly adept in being both honest and not, at once.

he does not forgive. he is fearful of trust, of betrayal, of being left in the dust once again. he loves, he loves, he loves, but he does not trust quite as freely.

i’d focused much too much on his guilt and misery when i had played him last, but i’m hoping to be able to focus more this time on some good things in his life. which will probably not last very long lbr but im excited to see for myself.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

dirk is an utter, unbelievably obnoxious, hopeless romantic. he is nineteen years old and had known he is gay for years, the wizarding world being far more relaxed about such things than where he’d come from, but only in the last few years or so had he become relaxed enough to be open about his sexuality to more than just the people he trusts. the idea of finding a committed, long term partner – male partner – is only just beginning to settle itself within him. he is only now beginning to truly see himself with a future in perhaps a domestic fashion and, despite the times they live in, he is positively giddy. it’s embarrassing. really.

dirk is a cis male character, though i��d really like to see how he would interact with a trans and/or nonbinary character and how he might find solace with someone who, while perhaps not exactly like him, falls far from the conventional lines drawn up by the social structures they live in.

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

traits:

+ TALENTED:

Dirk’s magical talents were difficult to miss, even to those who really, really tried, and it was not entirely for the considerable amount of bragging on Dirk’s part – though, arguably, that was a large part of it – but his hands, deft with potions and charms and defensive spells, were quick to catch people’s attention, and keep it. his exceptional dueling skills had not gone unnoticed, either, not by his teachers, and certainly not by his pureblooded schoolmates, who have repeatedly tested his abilities first hand.

+SOCIABLE:

Dirk is That One Kid that knows everyone, and who everyone knows. He joined every extracellular activity the school had to offer at one point or another, he never missed a chance to hang out and have fun, and he was always interested in meeting new people and making new friends. His easy humor and confident attitude drew people to him and relaxed them in his company, his optimism and cheeky remarks making him an uplifting presence to have around. He is secretive, however, keeping his emotional troubles and inner demons far away from prying eyes, even those he considers close.

-TRUST ISSUES:

Dirk has been shown love and taught not to trust it. a parting gift, from his mother, one could say. he finds difficulty – immense difficulty – in sharing his troubles, or his secrets of any kind, with anyone. he loves and he cares about his friends and there is very little he wouldn’t do for them, but trust is something that is difficult to come by, for him, and it is something that frustrates his friends to no end.

-ARROGANT:

Dirk has an exaggerated sense of his own abilities. He is talented, yes, anyone would be hard pressed to deny that, but he tends to – overestimate, what he can do. It could also be put down to his perfectionist nature, that he would bite off more than he could chew and simply expect himself to rise up to the challenge.

he is so confident in the caliber of his character, in his own moral righteousness, in his ability to tell right from wrong. he believes so completely in aversio and what they stand for and in the choices he’s made, that he is right, that he is good, that what they’re doing is entirely justified to a morally correct eye. his arrogance and his pride, just as his loyalty and his bravery and everything good in his heart, have led him down a path of darkness where the torch of his anger has lit the way so brightly he cannot see the blackness of his surroundings. he is a morally grey character with a black and white mindset.

——

Mockblog: dorkcresswxll.tumblr.com

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

he squints, tilts his head, leans back on the back of his feet. “just one?” he asks, and straightens up as a thought occurs to him. there’s the beginning of a grin pulling at his lips, something of boyish mischief coloring his features. “something to, to take care of pureblooded bigots. y’know, take care of ‘em. actually, all bigots, y’know, all at once.” he shrugs, hands shoved into his pockets, boyish grin spreading across his face. giddy. “i’d call it the purifier, just for kicks.”

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

“Sal!” a burst of laughter, involuntary, and he leans forward. “did you see her swing that wretched bat of hers? i’d take her with me to that Snake Supreme if i could, she’d bash his head in and cuss up a storm and everything, she’s good at making a big fuss.” the fond gleam in his eyes is unmissed by any, there is pride in his voice when he speaks of her, of his sister. he does not attempt to hide it. “and – and food for the object, i think, that’d work out pretty well, yeah?”

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

“when to take a bloody break.” he huffs, annoyed, and perhaps a touch embarrassed. “i still don’t know how to do that.”

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

that he is weak, that he is lesser, that he isn’t good enough. that he is just as bad as those he fights to rid the world of, that he is worst. that he is amoral, immoral, that he is unjust and evil and simply a murderer.

he hums. thoughtful. for a moment. “that i can’t take a loss well. which, mind you, is ridiculous – i never lose anyway!”

WRITING SAMPLE

it wasn’t difficult to get the old man to sign his letter – it wasn’t difficult, he’d not needed any convincing, all dirk had to do was thrust the form under his nose, pen in hand and a flat look upon his face: stiff, clunky, the way he only ever is with his father anymore.

the man looks up from the book between his palms, his sharp nose striking, his slanted eyes lifting towards his son. there is a crease between his brows as he pulls the paper from the young boy’s hands, eyes over ink before he asks what this is.

“it’s a permission form.” he sounds nervous. he hates it. “for hogsmeade.” he says, “you’re supposed to sign it.”

and the man signs it. just like that, he reads the paper and he signs it – he hangs on to it for a moment before giving it back. there is something there, something he wants to say, but his father was never good with words and so he says nothing. dirk is pathetically grateful – he never seems to say the right thing when his dad is involved, either.

dirk takes the paper and shifts his weight between his feet and isn’t sure if he should just leave – there is something there he wants to say, as well, but he can’t quite grasp the words and so he mulls about for a moment more, shifting the paper in his hand, before he nods a quick ‘thank you’ and scurries away.

he stuffs the paper in his pocket as he walks away. he stuffs his guilt down too, and tries not to think about it – he’d been avoiding his dad all summer, had only spoken to him now when he needed something, and not for the first time he wonders how it’s gotten this bad. he wonders when it’s gotten so tense between them they can’t share more than a few words before something made someone snap. he wonders what made it so, what caused this wide, gaping chasm to stretch between them – but he can’t think about that without thinking about emptied rooms and funeral marches, so he shakes his head quickly and bursts into Sal’s room.

They have much planned for the rest of the day, and there’s only so much of summer left for them to enjoy.

[naivety]

K, so I need to get something off my chest concerning those who fit the following bill in the 100 fandom. I’m by no means saying you can’t have your opinions, I’m just... pointing out inconsistencies because I can.

I’d like to put a disclaimer that I’m not talking about things that actually don’t make sense simply because the writers take advantage of their power over the story world (like Octavia surviving a stab wound and then a fall like that). I’m talking about other things.

So I see so much bullshit complaining about this and that across multiple platforms. Youtube comments, tumblr, fanfiction.net, etc. From Jasper not being dead/over his depression yet, to Arkadia blowing to bits, to Roan surviving a bullet wound while Lexa died even while a medic was there (tho i won’t be addressing the fact that the actress for Lexa had to leave for another role in this rant). It always comes down to something like ‘it’s not fair’/’it’s random’/’it doesn’t make sense for the writers to do that’/’it’s unnecessary’/’what a stupid reason for such and such to happen’/etc. And maybe they’re right. Half the time, it is unfair, it is random, it is unnecessary. But I feel like people forget that while we’re watching fiction, elements of realism are (as they always are in any fiction) there. 

Unfair things happen. Random tragedy strikes. Important, precious things are destroyed by stupidity and pettiness. Life is just like that.

So yeah, Jasper still being alive while people like Lexa are dead is unfair. It is stupid. It is ridiculous. Just like in our world--good people die while bad people live on. Depression sometimes so many times lasts longer than the original trauma, even if it should be gone and done with by now. Life or death could be a matter of millimeters. Trauma and pain make people do stupid, rash things that make literally no sense to everyone else. Chances of survival for the entire human race can definitely be destroyed by selfish, and arguably petty, undeserving actions in a heartbeat. It doesn’t have to be fair. It doesn’t have to work out in your favor. It doesn’t have to make sense that something so important to you is ended in such a pathetic way. That happens all the time in real life, day after day, to peoples’ friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. Precious things ended in ways that are so pathetic and meaningless it breaks those who are left behind. This show is just brave enough to give their audience horrible tastes of the inconvenient reality even at the risk of their audience’s frustration. 

Life is just inconvenient. It’s unfair. Disproportionate. 

You win some, you lose some. That’s just how it is here in our reality, and that’s how it is in the 100.