#tho maybe I'm giving staff too much credit

[trappedham]

To whoever sent that ask? Uhh, Tumblr ate it. Maybe don't be a porn bot next time djdbdjd

[maskyartist]

Hi so, a while ago you put out a post about how Augustus Aquato's mental world is a train and how it might work as a level? And it was brilliant, so I had a question: I'm writing a fic and I was wondering if you'd mind me taking the general idea and twisting it to my own narrative ends- and if you're cool with that, would you want a credit somewhere, like as part of the chapter notes?

oh man I haven’t thought about Augustus’s train level in forever! I don’t mind u using the idea, and I would appreciate credit so thank u for asking!! But I’m not sure I have a real “narrative” more just a general idea on how the level would go?? Then again this is LONG so maybe it is a narrative…

One note before we go, Raz gets a costume for this level! Similar to in Black Velvetopia or Feast of the Senses. But instead of just a color palette change, tho he does do that here going to more older “yellow red blue” aesthetic is the best way I can describe it-, he gets a whole costume! A mix of his circus garb and a little server outfit, like he’s train staff!!

It starts with Raz at the back of the train, in the luggage cart, where he would end up looking around for a door. This is where he finds all the emotional baggage, shoved away without their tags, ignored and pushed to the side, along with a metal cage that…doesn’t seem to house something friendly.

Once Raz leaves he ends up walking through the whole train to reach the front. There’s a dining cart, the usual sitting cart u see in mystery movies, but then it cuts to a whole ass circus inside one of the carts. It seems to span endlessly upwards, with beautiful set decoration and plenty of space for tricks. Unfortunately, the performers are currently out, which means the circus is closed. It’s almost a bit uncomfortable to walk around this bright, cheery place full of happy circus music only for there to be no actual people there. Just figments. (Similar to Helmut’s mind, there’s a center stage that pictures all the Aquato’s performing the same trick Raz’s mental vault showed off. Even with Raz levitating Mirtala’s tiara. No detail left out.)

Then we reach the fourth cart, last one before the conductor’s cart, and it’s quite the cute homey storage area. There’s train and circus supplies alike stuffed away, but there’s also pictures of the family. New ones and old ones that Augustus is able to remember now, older ones in cracked frames but still lovingly hung on the walls. Though, if Raz looks closer at the old pictures, every instance of Lucrecia or Marona have been scribbled out in either black marker or just torn out completely. Nona remains untouched in the newer pictures, but she’s a bit pushed aside now. Even in memories Raz knows they were close, Nona has been put aside for the rest of the family.

Then, Raz finally gets to the conductors cart, and it’s quite the sight to see! It’s an odd combination of an actual engine/control room on a train and a big top tent, with ropes and trapeze swings for Augustus, our conductor and ringmaster for the evening, to get around easier.

When Raz asks what his dad’s doing, Augustus happily shows him around the head of the train and tells him they’re fully on course to their next destination! The only trouble is…Augustus isn’t sure where that destination could be. He shows Raz a mental map and reveals he’s had three thoughts floating in his head.

Either -his family continues with the circus without Raz, leaving their baby to do his psychonauts training alone

-they make Raz come with them which would upset him greatly, but the family would at least stay whole

Or -give up on the circus and finally settle down. Ruining their livelihood, but staying with family.

Augustus and Raz look at the map, and when Raz offers to find some kind of middle ground Augustus shakes his head, saying there’s too much to find a middle ground. He has to choose one of these options when the fork in the road comes. Eventually, no matter how much prying or poking Raz does, Augustus shoves himself into his work, refueling the train, keeping an eye on the controls, ordering Censors who act like staff here to take care of passengers n all that jazz.

Raz eventually is given a job by a very busy Augustus to find the rest of the family and get them settled in the circus cart. They need to get back to performing eventually.

And that ends up being Raz’s sort of “main mission”, wandering around the train and playing hide and seek with his family, finding them all in different locations and learning how Augustus thinks they view him, be it as a father or a husband or even just family.

Dona thinks he’s a pushover, saying how she’s always the one who has to pick up his slack.

Dion’s upset that he trusted him for so long but now all that trust is gone because everything Augustus said about psychics n mentalists was basically a lie.

Frazie’s pissed that Augustus never taught her anything, even though he’s Psychic too!

Mirtala feels lonely because Augustus doesn’t spend time with her, too busy to play anymore.

And Queepie thinks Augustus is just old and boring, a father he’s stuck with until hes older.

Finding Nona however gives Raz three different mental constructs. One of Nona, the old shaky grandma hes know forever. One of Lucrecia, younger and clearly in her prime before the Deluge. And one of…Marona. She’s in very old coloring style, but she’s there. On a shaky memory but she’s there.

These three aren’t really going to perform, so they’re more like the constructs of the Psychic 7 in Cassie’s mind. Theyre there to show Raz how Augustus thinks of his mothers, the many he’s had apparently.

Marona views Augustus as her sweet little baby. She’s so upset she never got to see him grow up, but there’s an air about her attitude that acts like she didn’t try hard enough, and not that she was literally killed that day. (Augustus trying to twist his own memories so he won’t have to mourn his mother, if he makes her a bad person he won’t have to mourn her.)

Lucrecia is very flippant, waving a hand at Raz when he asks about Augustus and commenting that she hasn’t seen him in so long. He never comes out of the conductors cart, and they’re both too busy to really work together. (Showing Lucrecia wasn’t always there for Augustus before she lost her memories, she was busy with the Psychic 7 n such.)

Nona is an odd mix of the two. It’s clear she loves Augustus, she even shows Raz a cute little family photo of her husband, herself, and Augustus. Though the husband’s face keeps shifting, and Nona keeps going from Marona to Lucrecia to old Nona and back and forth. But Augustus stays the same lil guy.

She tells Raz that Augustus works far too hard, pushing and pushing himself to be the back bone of this family. Nona can’t do it, she’s too old. Dona can’t do it, she’s his wife. The kids can’t do it, they’re children! It’s only up to Augustus.

Basically, Raz learns from the three motherly figures that Augustus from day one has carried everyone else’s weight. After the Deluge, when he had his own family…he took the reigns before anyone else could and made himself the conductor. The ringmaster. The leader of this family, so no one else would have to worry about that kind of weight. And overtime, as Raz sees when he heads back to the conductors cart continuously to inform him he found another family member, it’s weighing too much on him too.

Anytime Raz offers to help, Augustus says he doesn’t need it. That he has a system. That the system works, but it only works with one person manning the machine. He’s the only one who’s known how to do it, and he’s the only one who can keep the train running, so he just needs to focus on keeping the train moving. As long as it keeps moving, he won’t need to stop and ask for help. He looks tired, too. Overtime his face has been covered in dusted soot and his hat is lopsided. His suit is all cloudy and he just looks exhausted…but he keeps pushing the train along.

This all eventually comes to a head when Raz tells Augustus he has the whole family together again, and Augustus informs him that Razputin isn’t there. When Raz tries to tell him he doesn’t need Raz to perform, Augustus insists that he does. That’s the system. He can’t just break the system. Without Raz there, then it’s not the Aquato family circus. It’s just…the Aquato circus. It’s not whole. It’s not complete. But Augustus doesn’t know how to get Raz back, so without Raz they can’t start the show, but with Raz Augustus can’t stop working the train to keep it moving forward.

He’s trapped himself in a loop of constantly overworking himself, to the point where he doesn’t even want to do the one thing he loves so much, that being acrobatics. Or rather, he just can’t stop being busy to try to perform with the family. He can’t find a new system, because the old system is so reliant on him that if Augustus stops he probably won’t be able to remember how to start it again. Like taking a break when you’re super busy, it’s always 10 times harder to get back to work after a break. Especially when the system is so complex like Augustus’ is.

It worked in the past, but it’s outdated now. Augustus can’t keep working on his own. He needs help. But he can’t just…accept his family’s help. He’s done too much damage, reinforcing these ideas of mentalists and the water curse that wasn’t even a curse.

Btw remember that fourth cart from earlier? Yeah, by now in the narrative, every time Raz passes back through that cart, it’s become more full of soot and rain water to the point where it’s like a storm passed through there, water covering the ground and all the pictures being broken.

This all comes to a head when Raz tries to forcibly stop his father from controlling the train just to prove he doesn’t need to be the one to carry all this weight, but the two pushing and pulling on the controls ends up with the train…crashing.

All of Augustus’ hard work, all the time and effort he spent making this work, all the painful nights of holding back his own tears and never saying a word of how he truly felt…has been for nothing. Or basically, this represents how when you’re trapped in a toxic mindset of serving other people, when you’re finally able to stop doing that it’s like the world is crashing down around you. You spent so long helping these people, and it’s just…never mattered? At all? Anyone else can do it? What about me? What about what I’ve sacrificed? All of it was for you, and you’re telling me it’s meant nothing?

This is when that cage from before, which has been slowly loosening overtime the more Raz collects and sorts the Emotional Baggage in the luggage cart, the tags which are found all over the train usually where you’d find the family members, finally cracks open and out pops Augustus’s own Maligula. I picture it like a hybrid of Lucy’s Maligula, with the purple skin and the looming presence and tear tracks, and Raz’s mental construct of his dad, with the stitching and the unrealistic twisting and bending and attitude.

This results in a fight where Augustus’ Maligula becomes this giant water monster intent on completely destroying the train and taking over the system, to which Raz and Augustus need to stop it together. Augustus essentially acts as support, giving Raz a boost of power similar to how he did in Psychonauts 1 and telekinetically tossing projectiles towards him so Raz can fight back against the storm.

Once Augustus Maligula is defeated and recaged, Augustus swears to Raz he isn’t going to do this alone anymore. The train will be…out of commission for awhile, so Augustus can catch up with family business. He doesn’t know how he’ll continue the circus, or what path they’ll go down…but with his family there? And thanks to Razputin’s help?

Augustus is positive they can find a middle ground this time. One that, hopefully, won’t crash and burn.

Tldr; Augustus’s entire mental world is about him ignoring his trauma and feelings after he’s remembered everything and forcing himself into work. Be it caring for the family, focusing on the circus, doing whatever he can to occupy his mind and not think about his feelings. This unfortunately leads him to ignoring his family, which leads into Augustus believing they don’t want him around in the first place for what he’s done.

Augustus keeps feeding into his own bad mentality and habits because this is all he’s known for all his life. So he doesn’t have much else to go off. And because he doesn’t realize it’s bad, he doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t wanna burden his family with more problems when they already are dealing with enough.

Augustus needs to be a strong husband and father right now. He needs to keep the train moving for his family. Even when he’s so exhausted he can barely think, he has to keep going. It’s all worth it when it’s for his family.

…so yeah that’s basically it :D use this however u will, and again I appreciate u asking about credit!!! Ur very sweet!!!

[amindofstone]

Match up, No. 11

Anon said:

Helloooo can I please get a one piece match up? I go by she/her pronouns and am bi. I enjoy skating and reading. I love to listen to other people ramble about their hobbies and interests, it's just so cute when they do that. I'm also a person that is shy at first but then will be more chaotic when I'm comfortable around you. I'm kinda lazy tbh and I love to listen to music while napping. I am a ravenclaw if that helps too. Thank you love!

a/n: Hello dear. I hope that you´re good and are somewhere you can enjoy good weather with good and lovely people around you. My dear anon I have to apologize for making you wait for so, sooooooooo long, but sadly I couldn’t get myself to do it earlier because of live and assailments. Anyways I still do hope that you didn´t forget about your request and still look forward to the work of mine. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can work on it and give you something better and different. Other than that I hope you will enjoy what will come next. Happy reading, my dear anon!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: @m_snm_wd (Twitter) !!!

- Well my dear I choose to match you up with the number two of the revolutionary army. Our beloved chief of staff Sabo!

- When Sabo gets asked what made him fall in love with you, he would say your eyes. The moment he looked at you he knew that you were someone special. He knew that you were someone he´d get along with easily. He simply knew that you´d be someone he would love to be close to and always having close to him.

- You were a new comer at the revolutionary army and were about to introduced to some of the important people of the organization.

- Although you were just 18 you had great fighting skills. And on top of that you were an amazing fencer.

- You were currently walking next to a office worker of the organization who showed you all the important places in the base. You were about to walk up to the cafeteria when you bumped into the back of your guide who out of nowhere stopped walking. “It´s a pleasure to see you Sabo and Koala. How was the mission? Did everything go as planned?”,

- A blond tall man stood in front of your guide followed by a beautiful woman. Both of them giving you friendly smiles and greeting you before giving your guide a short info about their mission when Sabo stopped focusing on your guide but rather you. “You are the sword fighter that is now a part of us, right? This place might look a bit boring and gloomy but trust me when I say that it´s more than that. It´s great here and you get to see so much of the world in perspectives you never thought of. If there is anything you ever need just know that I am just one floor below you.”

- And that was your first ever encounter and talk in which he gave you a taste of his lovely smile that was able to light up a whole room no matter the mood.

- Sabo was always impressed of you. He always heard that the trainers complained about your lack of participation in the training sessions for the trainees and newbie’s. But Dragon never said anything because he knew how competent you were. And so did Sabo.

- The first times he tried talking to you, you always gave short answers or just listened to him ramble bout something. And he would have always apologized for not letting you talk too. And each time you would laugh and tell him that you liked listening to people no matter the topic. As long as they were comfortable.

- And so it came that he would always find you to have a walk with him so you could talk about something. Although he was talking the majority of the time.

- The little walks you would always have every day after dinner would turn into a little tradition. Whenever you wouldn´t have them he would think of the worst and get sad. Whenever he wasn´t able to see you he would be down and a total child that has to be dragged to a meeting by Koala.

- One day Dragon send you, Sabo and Koala on a mission. Everything was all good until a little mistake was done by Sabo simply because of him being a bit reckless and thinking he could shorten up the whole process even tho Koala told him he couldn´t. But that man never listens. Maybe his stubborn self was boosted more than usual because you were with them and he wanted to prove how great he is. But he would never admit it.

- Everything escalated in the blink of an eye. Koala was going nuts while scolding Sabo. And you? You were the definition of calm. You might be someone who was lazy but you were impressively smart. Logically and strategically thinking was your strength next to sword fighting. But you never spoke about your talent because you thought that when someone had a talented or was good in it they did not have to always show it off or talk about it. You always said that overconfidence was something you despised and avoided in all cost.

- And so it came that Sabo had the chance to get to see the intelligence in you and the burning determination in your eyes to complete the mission successfully. Sabo was in awe. He was impressed and had a huge grin upon his lips the whole time. Even on the way back to the base he would always have a tiny smile on his lips.

- After that mission he would always look forward to missions with you. He would always suggest you to accompany him on missions. But after some time it got suspicious and he always got teased for wanting to go with you on missions because these occasions were the only moments one could get you to come out of your room. And you didn´t mind at all. But Koala did because she knew that her friend found a liking in you but you simply couldn’t see it.

- Weeks passed and no sight of you realizing that the number two was crushing on you. Months passed and you were still as clueless as ever until Koala told you out of nowhere that Sabo liked you and left you overwhelmed and surprised. Alone in your room with your brain shutting down and intelligence leaving your body.

- After a few days in which Sabo hid from you and tried to avoid you at any cost you finally saw him at a meeting. When the meeting ended he approached you and tucked on your sleeve to get your attention since you were talking to Koala. “Do you have a minute? I would like to talk with you.”, he smiled at you with a little blush while he got lost in your eyes. “Sure. What do you wanna talk about? Did something happen?”, Sabo shook his head and offered you his hand and walked you out. He led you to the roof of the base and instantly got to the point right after he told himself to not do anything embarrassing. “y/n. Listen. I know this might sound weird but I truly like you. I thought I should tell you this myself although Koala already told you that and ruined everything. But that’s not the point. I am not telling you this because I want you to go on date with me but make sure you actually hear it from me. So if you, after this, still would like to be friends and keep wanting to spend time with me I really would appreciate it and would like you too….“

- Sabo was none stop rambling with no sight of him stopping soon. So you simply hugged him to stop him from rambling without an actual end. “Huh?!”, the blond man froze on the spot not knowing where to put his hands or if he should put his hand on you at all. “When someone usually hugs someone, they expect them to hug back. But it´s fine I took you by surprise.”, you said with a little smile on your lips while hiding your face on his shoulder. “That I know my dear, but they do not instantly hug back when they are in love and would like to hug that significant other all the time.”, the smile on your lips grew and made you look up. “So out of your words that were just a – I like you- turned now into a – I love you-. Glad to see that the hug worked and I could get you to speak what I wanted to say myself.”

- Congratulations my dear. Your sweet confession got one of the strongest men alive to blush and not know what to say. Flustered Sabo looked away with a smile upon his lips and a racing heart. “So you like me too? Am I correct… my dear y/n?”

- You nodded and that was what made Sabo to embrace you in his arms and pull you as close to him as possible. “Thank you for allowing me to hear your confession. Thank you for seeing me worth to be loved.”

+

- Your and Sabos relationship was one of the sweetest. You were what the world would have called couple goals. Every person at the revolutionary army knew you two and would always refer on you two with different names. One would call you -the beauty and the beast-, -Romeo and Juliet-, -Yin and Yang-, -Royal couple- and so much more.

- Sabo and you knew about that and loved it although it always would cause the both of you to blush and get shy around each other when you would hear it. Out of all the names you heard or got told about by colleges or Koala, Sabo had a favorite he would never admit out loud. And the name he loved was – the calm and the chaos-

- The calm and the chaos wasn´t romantic or sweet but to him it meant a lot. Because you were like the calm silence at the beach. The comforting silence that surrounded the atmosphere when the sun rise. You were like the warm silence full of hopes and dreams that surrounded the atmosphere when the sun set. You were the comforting silence he, the chaos, needed in his life to recharge and gain strength. You were the love filled silence he always looked for when the world was about to drown him in his raging wrath. You were like the love filled, comforting calm that embraced him when the voices in his head threatened to fill his heart with agony and despair.

- He was the uncontrollable storm and you were his heart the eye of the storm that held all the comfort and silence that would keep him from losing himself

- You were the only calm in his life. You were hiscalm. You were the only calm in his life. And he swore to keep you and love you until his last breath.

[ladywinterwitch]

Run Away (Eight- What You Gotta Do)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings:  A bit of angst, pregnancy talk, mentions of injuries, mentions of abandonement (mild), fluff, reader is still an emotional rollercoaster, cursing and swearing, smut, unprotected sex (too late for these two lmao), oral sex (f recieving), brief mentions of body insicurities, Bucky’s a puppy dog.

Words Count: 5289

A/n: Part eight! I can’t believe that I’ve actually come this far lmao. Plus, me posting stuff with less than 44827 years of distance with each other? A miracle. I always said that I would wrap it up at 10 chapters,but while writing this chapter I realized that I will need one or two extra chapters + the epilogue. We’ll see. For now I’m happy to be able to write lol. Series masterlist here, main masterlist here. Enjoy <3

ps: Chris’s look in that gif,,,chile 

                       (gif not mine)

In the following week you saw Steve once a day, just to assure that he was doing fine. He wasn' sleeping in your shared room for the moment, but in a spare bedroom. You knew that you were probably being harsh with him, but you were so mad. It wasn't the first time that he did something stupid to try and save others. Hell, just think about that damned plane crash that put him in the ice in the first place.

You understood the reasons why, and basically everyone tried to talk with you and kinda 'sugar coat it' but the issue wasn't that you didn't understand: the issue was that he couldn't afford to think only about himself. Was it selfish on your behalf to think that way? Maybe. But you couldn't help it. You told yourself that it would've been different if you were just married, or just lovers. His decisions would've still been his. But now it's different. In less than six months he would've become a father. And that comes with responsibility. Wasn't he the first to tell you how important it was for you to put aside your job, for months or maybe even forever, just for the wellbeing of the creature inside you? That kid is yours just as much as he's his.

You and Bucky went out for a shopping trip that afternon. You would've asked Wanda, but she and Vision went to Clint's farm for a few days to see him and his family. Steve still had to be inside the tower, since he wasn't fully healed yet. You knew that he was watching a football game with Sam now, while Tony and Bruce were working on a new project, and Thor went to Asgard for a while to go check that Loki and Odin weren't at each other's throats.

You didn't mind Bucky's company at all. And in any case it wasn't like you felt like going out with Steve, not just yet. The brunette drove you both to the mall where he parked and then you went inside.

-So, what absolutely exciting and girly shops I have to visit today?- he asked while you curled your hand around his bicep. You laughed, looking up at him while you walked.

-Well, this mama is getting bigger every day, so I really can't wear my old clothes. I wouldn't even fit in them, and I can't go on with you guys' hoodies and t-shirts. I mean, I'm still a woman. Who said I can't look good while pregnant?- you responded, dragging him to a maternity clothes shop. As soon as you entered like half of the women in the shop turned to look at Bucky. You glanced at him and saw that he blushed and was looking everywhere except them. You bit you lip to not smile while you started to look around at the clothes. You made sure to engage in conversations with him to try and take the attention away.

-Damn homie, I think you just made those women regret their partners.- you said lowly so only he could hear you, and being a super enhanced supersolier, he did hear you very clearly. He snapped his head towards you with a look of disbelief on his face. His expression was so funny that you couldn't help but laugh. He looked around quickly then got closer to you.

-Stop it! It's already embarassing without you pointing it out.- he whined with a low voice. You stopped laughing but you couldn't help but smile, pressing your lips together.

-It's just so funny to me, because I understand these women. Turns out that pregnancy doesn't only make you sick, but also terribly horny.- you rose an eyebrow and he face palmed himself. You laughed again.

-Too much information, doll.- he groaned. You chuckled, putting in his hands a bunch of clothes. He caught them with both arms and followed you like a puppy to the changing rooms.

-Thank you kind sir, now I'm gonna see if they fit then I promise we're out of here.- you joked, hanging the clothes into the changing room. You closed the tent and he let himself fall delicately on one of the couches. He looked around while he waited but it turned out to be a bad idea when he saw the women from the various isles and even the shop's staff looking at him. He awkwardly smiled and then looked back at the closed changing room, sinking in his seat and covering the side of his face with a hand nonchalantly. He heard a few muffled giggles but no ne bothered him.

-Y/n are you done?- he asked, more embarassed than anything. Suddenly she pulled back the tent and started to gather a few of the garments in her hand. Bucky's gaze got caught on her figure. It was essentially the first time that she wore something fitting and not exaggerately large, so her belly was fully on display, even more so since she was turned to the side. The man felt a mix of emotions all at once and didn't quite catch the first time she called him.

-Buck, did you hear me?- he snapped out of it and stood to his feet, blinking a few times.

-It looks great.- he commented. You had on a nice flowery minidress, the sleeves were short and puffy, the square neckline showed just enough cleavage to remain classy, the breast area was tight but just below the skirt was soft and fell perfectly on your figure, showing the belly. You looked at him with a smile, chuckling slightly.

-Yeah, it fits well doesn't it? I'm getting these,- he gave a three dresses, two shirts, two t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and a pencil skirt to him, while she had other stuff in her own hands. -And I'm leaving these.- she sighed.

-Would you do me a favor? I'm dropping these off, meanwhile could you go to the pay desk? I'll be there in a sec.- he nodded and you thanked him while you walked away to the isles. Bucky walked towards the counter and dropped the garments on the desk, giving a quick smile to the girl behind it. He pulled out from the back pocket of his jeans the wallet and then the credit card, which was obviously Tony's, and put it on the glass above the counter. He waited a few seconds until the clerk, which was a nice girl with black hair and amber like eyes, spoke to him.

-So, how far are you guys?- she asked. Bucky almost choked on air at that phrase.

-Oh we- - he was about to say, but you arrived at his side and saved the situation. You smiled kindly at the girl and gave a pat on Bucky's arm.

-I'll be exactly of five months in a week, and he's more like the uncle than the father.- she tileted her head towards the brunette. The clerk smirked.

-Is he now?- she said rethorically. Then added, -That would be 277$. You're paying with cash or card?- Bucky gave her the Visa and she thanked him, finishing the payment. Y/n glanced at him with a knowing look and a slight smirk. He rolled his eyes and shook his head a little, she furrowed her brows as if to ask 'Why?' and he just mouthed 'No', so she didn't push. For now.

-Thank you for your purchase, congratulations and we hope to see you soon.- the girl said with courtesy, her gaze lingering a bit on the man, whom didn't return the look. You could see the slight disppointment of the girl.

-Thank you, have a nice day.- you saluted her and then headed out with Bucky. An hour had already passed and you still had in mind to buy a few things, but first you needed a break.

-I desperately want a piece of cake. What do you think?- you elbowed him delicately to catch his attention. He turned his head and nodded, still carrying the two bags. You arrived at the mall's cafe and ordered. He picked an iced coffe and you a slice of cheesecake and some tea, knowing that coffe wasn't that good for pregnancy. You took a seat at one of the tables outside, even tho you were still technically inside the mall.

-So, wanna tell me why you didn't accept the clear as the sun advances that the pretty shop assistant did?- you brought the fork to your mouth. He huffed and shrugged.

-Because I am not interested. I don't think I'm in the right mindspace to date right now.- he responded. You exhaled, tilting your head slightly to the side.

-Buck, I know that it didn't end up that smoothly with Nat, but she's gone.- she realized how that sounded like and quickly corrected herself, -I mean, not gone. But...gone, you know?- you cringed at your own words and he snorted.

-Very smooth y/n.- he joked, earning a glare from you.

-Shut up, I'm trying to help here. What I meant that while I understand that things with Nat didn't end up in the best of ways, she went away to give both of you the space you need to get back on your feet.- you paused, drinking a sip of tea, then offring the last bite of cake to him. He shook his head, giving you a lopsided smile.

-Don't worry, it's all yours.- you pointed your finger at him, while chewing the cheesecake. He chuckled.

-Right answer. Anyways, what I'm trying to say here, Buck, is that you have to allow yourself to try again. Because you deserve it. What do you tell me about that person you said you were interested in? I've never seen you with anyone in the last three months.- he looked to the side for a moment casually.

-They're taken so, yeah.- he simply answered, shrugging while taking a sip of coffe. You got sad all of a sudden. You eyebrows knotted in a sad expression and he noticed, giving you a small smile.

-Hey, don't do that. It's okay. I'm not like heartbroken or shit. I'm happy for her.- he assured you, -She.. well she has a family. She deserves it, so I'm happy for her.- he nodded, smiling softly. You smiled at him too, still with a hint of sadness. He took a nother sip of coffe an then raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

-Why are you crying?- he asked confused. You furruwed your brows in confusion and wiped your fingers under your eyes, realizing that a few tears had escaped. At that point without a reason, you started to feel worse and embarassed and a mess, so you sterted to actually sob a little. Bucky got up and moved his chair next to yours, hugging you.

-Hey what's wrong? I promise I'm alright.- he laughed to try and lighten the situation. You hiccupped into his chest.

-I- I know..it's just.. I don't know, these stupid hormones are making me act hysterical.- you had sittle sobs coming out every now and then. He kissed your head while he stroked your back.

-It's okay, you're not hysterical.- he chuckled softly making you smile. You pulled away from him looking in his eyes.

-I'm a mess aren't I?- Bucky wiped a little smudge of mascara under her eye, and then smiled at her lovingly.

-You look just fine, darling.- she hugged him, whispering a 'thank you, I love you' in his ear.

-I love you too- he answered.

After that, they finished their drink and Y/n told Bucky that she wanted to order a few things for the baby so they did just that. They went in a baby-stuff shop and she choose and placed some orders for a crib, a baby seat for both the car and the kitchen and the changing table. You didn't wanted to buy them right away, so you told the shop to bring them at the tower when they wanted.

When you exited the shop, it was already six thirty pm, so you decided to head back at the tower.

In the car, you told Bucky about your idea to get a midwife to help you during your pregnancy and especially when it'll be time to deliver the baby.

-I don't know y/n... I mean I think that you don't need a midwife or some other stranger to take care of you and the baby. You have Steve. You have me, and Sam, Wanda and the rest of the team. Bruce has basically become a doctor of everything, I'm sure that helping to deliver a child isn't that hard.- he shrugged while keeping his eyes on the road.

-I can't and wouldn't expect you all to babaysit me for another four months, Bucky. You have missions, classes, a you know, your own lives.- he glared at you, probably wanting to intervene and contraddict you, but he remained quiet in the end.

-And, you really can't expect Bruce to handle this. He's a fucking physician for God's sake. He's absolutely amazing, but a delivery? No, that would be too much even for him. And I would be kinda embarassed, for crying out loud.- you added with a high pitched voice. You absentmindely started to cradle your belly. He thought about it for a few seconds.

-I don't know y/n, you know how I am with strangers. But in any case it's your and Steve's decision. Please, talk to him. He's been miserable this week without you. He wouldn't shut up about how he was sorry, and stupid and in love with you and that he misses your smile, your belly and I don't know, I stopped listening after a while.- he said exasperatedly. You suppressed a smile.

-Really? - you asked sheepishly. He turned his head to look at you for a second before smiling knowingly.

-You know it's true. Your fucking married, for God's sake.- he said, tired of you two being idiots. He could just imagine how it'll be when you'll become parents. You will be great at it, but also a mess at the same time.

-Hey, Whiny Soldier, how was shopping? - Sam shouted when he saw the two of you coming in the room with your hands full of bags. You didn't see him, but you just knew that he pursed his lips and shook his head.

-

You came back at the tower just in time for dinner. Vision and Wanda had aprons tied on their chests, while the others were just chilling in the common room. Steve was there too, beside Bruce.

-Shopping was productive, thank you very much.- you answered pointing for Bucky to put down the bags.

-Let me help you take these to your room.- he offered, but you gave him a look and he understood immediately, putting them down. You smiled and kissed his cheek.

-Thank you for being my human cart today.- his jaw dropped, pretending to be offended.

-Oooh- Sam howled and the others laughed. Steve smiled slightly, still mortified by your little 'cold shoulder week'  thing.

-You're lucky I can't tickle you to death right now.- he pointed his finger at you before walking to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

-Yeah, yeah, like you say big guy.- you teased him. You paused, shifting your gaze to Steve. He was wearing a blue hoodie and gray sweatpants, his dirty blonde hair were starting to get a bit long at the sides and a few strands fell on his forehead, while his jaw was covered with a slight scruff. His puppy dog eyes met yours and you couln't help but melt a little.

-Steve, are you well enough to help me with these?- you asked and even before you could finish he was on his feet. He almost tripped from how fast he tried to reach you.

-Yes I'm perfectly well I mean I'd love to help you. I mean obv- - you raised an eyebrow and he stopped, looking down. The whole team was watching in silence like it was a damn movie.

-I'm rambling, I'm sorry.- he said lowly. You sighed and places three of the four bags in his hands.

-C'mon. And you all, get a life.- you called them out while you two walked to the elevator. A few minutes later, after the short, silent, trip, you arrived to your room. He placed the bags on the bed and you did the same after closing the door behind you.

-Help me take off the price tags.- you invited him. He grabbed the bag, taking out the first garment. It was a white baby onesie, with Captain America's shield logo on it in white, blue, and red. His breath got caught in his throat and he suddenly let out a sob.

You snapped your head up in confusion, your features softening when you saw him. He sat on the bed, head down, onesie still in his hand. You put down the dress you had in your hands and went to sit next to him, since it would've been really uncomfortable for you to bend on your legs now. You hand went istinctively to rub his back.

-Can we talk?- he asks with broken voice. You tilt your head to the side to look at him with the shadow of a smile on your face.

-Only if you stop crying. Or else none of us will be able to talk at all.- he chuckles slightly making you smile lovingly. He wraps his big arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck, your collarbones exposed due to the large shirt you were wearing. The wave of relief that washed over you in that moment was hard to describe.

-I missed you so much, baby. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I'm sorry for being so impulsive.- he sniffed while he talked. You nodded, cupping his face gently. Steve melted into your touch.

-I know you are. And I'm sorry too. I know that I've been harsh with you these past days, it's just...- he waited patiently, -You're not responsable for only yourself anymore. I understand, please trust me, I understand what you wanted to do and also that you feel like it's your duty to do that. And it kinda is, but my point is- you shook your head realizing that you weren't really explaining yourself.

-What I mean is that you cannot put your life behind other's. Not for me, not even for the team. We're grown ass adults okay? Fow how much you can love us and we can love you, we are our own person. But this- you placed his hand on your belly, -This had been a choice. Your, mine. We both are responsable for this life. The same way I gave up my job, and the lessons. Now, I'm not asking you to stop going on missions, but I'd like you to be with me as much as possible. And that when you go, you'll be careful. Please, Steve.- you say softly, almost in the verge of tears. Again. You've cried more in five months than in your whole life probably.

-You're right. It was pretty hypocritical of me to get mad at you for the same reason in the first place.- he shook his head in disappointment. You rolled your eyes, adding -Work. I think we'll have to rearrange ourselves in this department.- you smiled and he laughed, agreeing.

-So, are we gonna get these off the bed and use the space in a better way or what?- your lips curled in a seductive smirk that quite shocked him. He recovered quickly, jumping on his feet and placing the bags on the ground in a split second. You threw you head back laughing at his eagerness, but you honestly couldn't blame him. Your hormones were a mess and your horniness at level 100, but you often were either sick, tired, hungry or he was. And not to mention the missions that separated you. So let's say that since you got pregnant the sex decreased noticeably, which was something that you wanted to fix. You phisically missed and needed him.

He returned to you and crashed his lips to yours, and soon enough you were a mess of tongues and lip bites and sucks that got interrupeted just briefly to get your clothes off. He didn't have anything under his hoodie, and you happily noticed that he was completely healed and that his weeks in the tower were due to the lack of new missions. You sincerely hoped it would last. After his hoodie, his pants and boxers were next. With you the situation was a bit more complex: first the light material shirt you had on had to be unbuttoned, then your tank top, the jeans' belt and the pants themselves. When you were left in just your underwear, a plain set of cotton white bra and panties, Steve stopped to look at your body.

He was in awe of you. He rose his hand and started a caress that began on your cheek, his thumb on your bottom lip, then descended to your now fuller breasts, to the curve of your waist to to your baby bump. At that point he bent down on his knees and kissed it softly.

-Hey little one, if you want to take a nap, now it would be a good time.- he whispered directly to the stretched skin. You let out a sound that was halfway between of a whine and a laugh.

-Steve, Jesus Christ.- you covered your face with your hands. You heard him laugh and stand on his feet again. He removed your hands gently, kissing you again with slow, agonizing passion that even let escape a ridiculous whine from your lips at the loss.

-Where were we?- he reached behind your back and unclasped the bra, sliding it off your shoulders and freeing your breasts.

-Mrs and Mr. Rogers I'm sorry to disturb, miss Maximoff would like me to inform you that dinner's ready.- you stopped hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice. You groaned, annoyed at the interruption, but Steve suddenly started to push you on the bed and to lick and suck your boobs.

-Tell miss Maximoff that we have dinner here.- he responded biting softly your nipple, making you whimper.

-It will be done, mr Rogers.-

-Geez Steve, couldn't you be more specific?- you sassed with a deep breath, distracted by your husband's mouth. He snorted moving further down to remove your panties.

-You're already pregnant, couldn't be more obvious than that.- you started to laugh, but it soon became a loud moan when you felt his tongue licking a long stripe on your pussy. You closed your eyes and istinctively wanted to bring your hand in his hair, but you found an obstacle. A medium big, round and naked obstacle. You huffed and Steve stopped, tilting his head to the side, since now you couldn't even see him from between your legs.

-Are you okay?- he asked, worry in his voice. You sat on the bed, helping yourself with your hands. He returned beside you, waiting.

-It's just..ugh I'm so awkward and big and not confident if I have to be honest.- you say for the first time out loud. You wanted to cover yourself by curling your knees to you chest, but again, you swollen stomach didn't allow it. At that point you got even more frustrated.

-Damn it.- Steve places his fingers under your chin and made you look at him. His eyes were serious but not mad.

-Hey, none of that. Do you even realize the miracle your beautiful body is doing? You're creating a whole life in there, baby.- he smiled brightly looking in your eyes, -And by the way, you're still hot as fuck.- that made you laugh. He kept smiling while he made you lay down again on the sheets.

-This beautiful face..these cheeks are even sweeter now.- he peppered them with kisses making you giggle uncontrollably.

-Don't get me started on these ones...- his hands cupped your breasts while his mouth attacked your nipples and the soft skin. You moaned softly, your hand immediately in his short hair, your nails delicately scratching his scalp.

-But you know my most favorite thing?- he kept going, -This.- he was now between your legs, kneeled in front of your stomach. He caressed it and kissed it a few times. Then his gaze  locked in yours again. You almost felt hypnotized, both by his velvety voice and his touch.

-I love it because it's round and soft and most importantly because it's giving me a family. A baby. And you know who's giving me all of this? You are. So don't ever be insecure about this wonderful body, please.- you smiled at him softly. Soon enough the mood changed again when he spoke his next words.

-Now, are you gonna let me thank this stunning body like it deserves or not?- you felt the smirk in his voice, his blue eyes hungry. You mirrored his expression propping yourself up on your elbows.

-Would like to see it.- you answer. He huffs out a laugh and reprises what he started doing a few minutes prior. He took good care of you until you came on his tongue, and at that point you grabbed him to crash your lips together. You kept moving and bringing him with you, until he found himself laying down on his back and you straddling his hips. Steve's hands immediately went to your sides, trying to not move and let you do the work, even though all he wanted was to fuck you until you both could't anymore.

You kept you eyes on his while you stroked him a few times before slowly sinking on him. He squeezed both his eyes shut and your hips, huffing a long breath. That could've almost made you laugh if you weren't just as wrecked. Your hips started moving, back and forth, to the sides in painfully slow circular motions. At one point he grabbed your ass, sitting up and making you gasp.

-Doll I'm kinda struggling here- he breathed out kissing your neck while you kept moving. -I want to be delicate but damn.- he nipped at your sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. Your hips started going faster with the help of his hands guiding you and soon enough you were panting and kissing each other passionately and messily.

-Oh, Steve I'm almost there- you moan hugging his head to your chest. He moaned too, reaching in front of you with his hand to circle your clit.

-I'm right behind you baby.- he reassured you while in reality he was trying hard not to come in that exact moment. He craved you more than usual, not only beacause your body was actually so fucking hot to him but also because he hasn't touched you for almost two whole weeks.

Just a few seconds later you gripped his shoulders, hiding your face in his neck. His breath got caught in his troath at the way you clenched around him when you came. And as a cue, he followed you short after, coming inside you. You stayed like that, hugging and cuddling for some minutes, then he kissed you and moved you gently on his side, hissing slightly when you lost contact.

-Be right back.- he said going to the bathroom and returning with a wet wash cloth. He cleaned you up from both of your releases and then went back to throw the dirty fabric in the laundry basket. You looked at him with a lopsided smile, still hazy and quite tired from the recent activity. He mirrored your expression with messy hair, crawling in the bed to you and pulling you on his side after.

-I needed that.- you say. He sighed, -I definetly did too. How come we always end up having sex after we argue or talk?- he asked casually. You shrugged.

-I don't know, the important thing is that the talk comes first and then, the sex.- he agreed with a nod. You chewed on you lip a bit before speaking again.

-Honey- you called, he hummed.

-While you were away last week I started to think about how I will probably need more help in the future, you know. And the fact that you and the others are often away on missions. And I mean it's totally alright, that's work but... I felt so bad when Sam and Wanda were left behind last time. And just to 'babysit' me.- he looked down at you with a frown.

-They offered to stay behind because they wanted to. We're taking turns on missions all the time.- he responded. You barely noticed that he had started to caress your belly.

-That's not the point, you know it. The last mission was quite big. I know my work well enough to know that Fury would've sent all the team, if I weren't left behind. Also by now we both understood that this baby isn't a normal baby and that is why I'm so sick so often. Bruce can't be here all the time, and for how good and skilled he his, he's not an expert in the baby field.- he was listening to you intently, but he wasn't quite sure with where you wanted to go with this.

-What's the point?- he asked, moving a strand of your hair from your face with his fingers.

-The point is,  that I've read a lot in these months, and I think that we should hire a midwife. It would be someone that stays with me most of the day and helps me. An actual expert.-

-And how would you explain that our child has the blood of two super soldiers?- his hand motioned himself and you. You got up, towards the bathroom.

-Steve, we share the house with a god, a giant green monster, enhanced people, a witch, a kid that has the powers of a spider and an intelligent robot. I think it wouldn't be a great surprise.- you closed the door, peed and then refreshed yourself before going back to take some clean clothes. You saw that he was waiting for you to get out, probably wanting to shower.

-Okay then, I guess we can arrange that, if that will make you feel better.- he finally spoke. You kissed his cheek, already in your underwear.

-Thank you. You're showering?- he nods, the raises an eyebrow.

-Wanna join?- you laugh and shake your head.

-No, baby not now. I get tired quite easily and if the bed's already a bit difficult to work with, the shower must be a nightmare.- he pouted.

-You're right.-

-But- he stops the door before it closes, waiting for you to continue. -I want to fix your hair and your beard if you let me.- a lopsided smile opens on his face.

-Be my guest.-

-

After you sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, you shortened the longer strands on top with tiny scissors. After that you picked up the electric razor and groomed the sides, shortneing them but not removing them completely. You did the same with the beard, leaving a short, barely visible scruff. About twenty minutes later you were done. You put down the razor and took a step back to look at your work.

-Perfect.- you commented, brushing the hair that fell on his chest and shoulders. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, smiling.

-Is there anything you can't do?- he asked. You smirked, kissing him before starting to clean up.

-No, I'm a woman.-

*************

Tag list: @polarcrystall​    @a--1--1--3​    @silver-winter-wolf​   @jessyballet​

[jiwonsssi]

— stress relief, p. 2

All well that ends well.

Warnings: its pure pwp, idek where to start

Characters: Eun Jiwon/Sandara Park

Realisation of the upcoming uneasy conversation came upon Dara at the moment when he finally stopped a car in front of her apartment building; Jiwon was tensed at the point that even air was thick around them. He tried his best to afford it; to fail miserably. Dara could tell that he's stressed, because he squeezed the steering wheel to the point of white knuckles.

She wanted to break the atmosphere, to say something, that would ease his nerves. But what would that be? 'I didn't mean that, you know. You misunderstood. Hehe'.

No, Sandara doesn't want to take her words back. But the atmosphere now is changed. A lot. They barely even talked after he took her our of the event.

She said exactly what she meant to say. But with what have she been thinking when asking it; only God knows.

She was nervous as well. And it was no less obvious - tugging on the hem of her dress and not even looking at him; feeling like a teenage girl again. But shes not teenager anymore, right? It was her who said that, it's not like she can just bury her head in sand now.

So Dara found all the courage she had to ask him again.

Dear Lord and God and Jesus and someone out there, she had never did anything like that. Never in her life she stuck in a situation like that; Jiwon never helped her. Though he was never easy.

- So, I.. - she looked at the panel of his car, scanning with eyes smooth black plastic like it was the most fascinating thing she ever saw, - Look, I, um, it's not like I want to take my words back. In fact, I'd hate to, but I..

She hears him laughing all of sudden and looks at him with all anger she can manage. She was trying to say important staff! With all her courage! What audacity he really holds, huh.

- Don't make excuses, we both understand what it was, okay? You look ridiculous right now, - he continues smiling and Dara doesn't feel offended or something. They indeed understand. Yeah.

Dara smiles at him, nodding. She has no idea what should she understand.

- Coffee? You helped me earlier and took me home, I need to thank you now anyway, - atmosphere is still a little tense but it's not awkward anymore. She doesn't feel out of place. She has met him a few times and it all was in uncomfortable circumstances; yet she was always okay. It's all on him, right?

Jiwon helps her everytime in the end.

- Sure, - he agrees maybe a little too quickly. Maybe. And maybe she smiles a little too wide, - Let's go.

Fresh air feels incredible and Dara takes a few extra seconds to inhale; she had been crying like a bear just an hour ago and memories are still vivid. Her knees a little weak and hands shake slightly; it's difficult to make it to the elevator on heels, but she manages. She can sense that Jiwon waits for her by not walking too fast. And that is the part of a reason why she doesn't feel like falling to the floor and crying till the next morning.

- Aren't you tired? I can make it, - he stands a few steps away, burying his hands deep in the pockets and looking a lot more relaxed. Dara hopes that his brain is no longer filled with unnecessary thoughts and she's really happy about it, - I mean, your shoes. And in general. You know, the whole evening, all that cameras, people around..

He's rumbling and it's so cute, she smiles widely, not being able to surpass it. Oh, God. He cares. He really does.

- If you were wondering why I cried, it's because I was overwhelmed with 'the whole evening', you are absolutely right here, - Dara looks at him, trying to ignore everything that she feels about the whole thing. Because now she is not less overwhelmed, to be honest. But with different emotions somehow. Because maybe they stand a little too close, - I'm good now, so don't worry. Let me do it for you, okay? I'll be in my fluffy slippers, so it should be fine.

Jiwon smiles again, hiding with hand and it also feels amazing. He truly is her teenage year's crush. But now she is no longer a teenager, and he is no longer unattainable.

If it would be possible to tell teenage Sandara that something like that would happen in the future.. God, she would live only by waiting for it.

- Okay. Only because of fluffy slippers, - and the atmosphere is so good, she literally cannot hide how happy she is. Dara feels herself so light-headed. Like that shitty day, even, maybe, a week, suddenly came to this exact point to bring her an actual cure in the face of Eun Jiwon. Totally worth it.

- Feel yourself at home, - she offers him to enter first, apologizing that she has only one pair of fluffy slippers and even offering it to him; he says no, but Dara believes it's only out of politeness. No one can say 'no' to pink fur in their right mind.

She then goes to kitchen, feeling like she's flying - those heels really made her look fine as hell, even she was sure about it, but now she doesn't feel less fine without them; just a lot more short. A lot. Ugh.

She hears water splashing from afar when she had only turned a coffee machine on, and so at the next moment, he's standing beside a small kitchen counter already without a jacket and three upper buttons undone, looking through his phone with utterly serious expression. Jesus Christ. That is no good for her mental stability.

- My manager was looking for me. I feel like I'm five, - he puts his phone on a surface and rubs his face; Dara gets it quickly - he's annoyed.

- And so as an adult you patiently told him where you are so he wouldn't be nervous, - she turns to pay attention to the working machine, which already filled the air with strong coffee aroma, - Didn't you?

She doesn't get response quickly, but when she does, it's equally cute and hilarious.

- No, I told him to fuck off, - and Jiwon is so puzzled with himself now, it's written on his face clearly. Dara just laughs again, shaking her head and proceeding to make americano, - In my defense, I was polite.

- You cannot say 'fuck off' politely, - technically you can. Possibly.

- But I did, - he's now standing behind her, looking above her shoulder on what she's doing, - Smells nice.

- Thank you, it's all on her, - she tups the top of coffee machine, ignoring how a brood of goosebumps ran down her spine.

Dara turns around to get another cup, not proceeding that Jiwon is right behind her. A lot more closer than she thought, actually. It's such a cliché.

- But still, - he's not planning on moving tho. She can feel him tensing up a little and the next thing he says.. any other man in any other situation would have been kicked out in seconds; but God knows, thoughts on their minds are absolutely the same, - Is there a chance I still can ask you that question?

She waits just a second, melting under his gaze, and he is oh-so-close and mother raised a decent woman but it doesn't matter anymore.

She is a decent grown up woman and she can sleep with whoever she wants to.

The thing is, she is the only one who thinks it's something bad. And her face shows it; Jiwon frowns and tilts his head a little. Like a cute little puppy, but Dara is sure you cannot look cute while being that hot.

- I'm not going to leave after, I promise. We can try to.. - he places his hand on her cheek and her exhale is so shaky. She desperately wants to give up to him, she can feel that pulsating sensation in her body when she's even imagining it for a second. She bites lower lip, frowning her brows a little. Why is she so scared? Jiwon clearly can sense it. That's why his breath is not better, it lingers on her lips, she feels every his word on her skin. The perfect distance to make her lose her mind, - I'll ask you on a date no matter what your answer would be, Sandara. Don't be so nervous. I'll wait as long as you need. And I'm okay with..

She doesn't let him finish when he unconsciously touches her lip with his thumb and she kisses it. His face is priceless. She would never forget this moment; she sees it like in slow motion. His pupils delaying and the way he gulps and furrows his brows. And that low slow 'fuck' under his breath when she takes it further, licking the tip, sucking on his thumb deeper, looking him directly in the eyes.

She's not going to regrer it.

It's not a secret that she likes him. It was even on national TV, like, a lot of people know that. But it's on another level when Jiwon kisess her; being firmly pressed against the wall and feeling his hands pushing up a short dress she wears - it's the whole new level. And she's so down for the game.

They barely able to breath properly because the kiss intensifies exponentially and Jiwon doesn't want to let her go just as much she doesn't want to get away from the heat his body radiates. She already gave up on trying to unbotton his shirt since it's not possible to make shaking fingers work properly. His lips are hot yet soft and he bites. God, he did bite her lip. And make her look at him in the process. She's trapped under his gaze, Dara moan silently, when he sucks on that bite gently.

She is at the point when everything that he does make her lose her mind. And he did bare minimum.

She hits her head on a wall when his lips starting to move down her neck; she wants to get rid of that dress so fucking much she's ready to rip it. And judging by how Jiwon grips the material, trying to find a zipper, she's not alone in that wish.

He pulls back to push his hair back and breath and Dara can't stand it. Fuck that dress, he looks glorious. She doesn't give herself a credit when she sucks on his Adam's apple and leaves tiny wet kisses on his hot skin, trying her best to undo his shirt finally. It's so impossibly satisfying to simply be that close to him. His scent, that filled her head rapidly; perfect mix of bitter smell of cigarettes and wooden, fresh cologne. Her head is spinning, and if not him pressing her to the wall, she would have fallen on weak knees.

He has all the chances to have her on her knees.

Everything that happens right now, on her mind or with her body, is strongly not like Dara acts in her life. Yet she loves it.

Her fingers meet his on his shirt and she doesn't expect touches this tender, when he squeezes her palms gently and holds it for a second, looking at her with a small smile and that soft peck on the tip of her nose. Goddammit.

- Please, stop doing it, I'm afraid I might fain, Jiwon, please, - she meowls it impatiently into his lips when he tries to kiss her and he smiles brighter, kissing her chin.

- What? - he's so proud of himself she wants to hit him. She meant his gaze, but God. She lets out a long moan under her breath, feeling his fingers messaging her through thin material of panties. Dara hits her head again, much harder this time, but she doesn't care. She cares about how does it feel like to grind on his hand while chasing his lips madly. Because that feels incredible.

Their faces are so close; she can feel his hot breath on her lips, how he sucks on air, when she moan louder because he decided to apply more power on her and his quick pecks everywhere when he can put himself together. Her nails digs in his skin harder when he pushes her underwear to the side to slide two fingers in. So slow, Sandara feels every millimeter and she moans all the way; his fingers are so fucking long. For a reason, apparently.

He moves them steadily, building rhythm in unison with her pinched meowls and hips' moves. She tries to chase for his hands, make him do it with more force and she doesn't know what to think when he complies. He understands everything she needs; he knows exactly what to do.

Dara surrenders to him; she has never felt this right in someone else's arms.

Jiwon made her cumming on his fingers in a few seconds.

She's blaming it on the fact that she was alone for a long time now; but she knows that it's her body reacting on him. In the ways she didn't know she was capable of.

Letting her head rest on his shoulder, she basks in the feeling of his palms gently soothing her bare skin.

She wants to hug him so much. To hug and to stay in his comfort forever. And she does. Dara pulls him closer, squeezing the material of his shirt in her hands. Somehow she wants to cry again.

- Do you think I did something wrong?

She's so afraid he would call her whore and leave. She doesn't care about anyone who have seen them leaving together, the press, internet. The whole world. She cares about waking up without him. She cares about finding disgust in his eyes. And..

- Sandara Park, God, if I told you that I don't, than I don't, - he pulls her face with his both palms to make her look at him and squeeze her cheeks, - And Lord knows I fed up with jerking off.

Jiwon looks at her with mixed adoration and his eyes are still filled with immense desire. She knows that she acts stupid and he suffers because of it. Yeah. Very stupid.

- Sorry, I just..

She starts rumbling and Jiwon rolls eyes, fighting the urge to shut her up. So Dara feels his kiss being a little bit forceful than she expected. But she quickly catches a hint; Jiwon moves away a bit, unzipping his pants and helping her to take off her underwear. No one talks about dress that is now pushed to her belly at this point.

There is a second before she kisses him again, tugging on his underwear to put it down enough to free his erection. Jiwon bites her lip and grunts lowly, when she strokes him painfully slow, squeezing the base lightly. Jiwon grunts again, throwing his head backwards and shuts his eyes, gulping and Dara thinks that that sight would be printed forever in her mind.

Jiwon's kisses are urgent now, he pulls her hand away and guides her to turn around and she complies to the hand on her spine to sag, pushing her hips into him. Dara is no less impatient by now. She has no idea how it is possible to make her this worked up just by doing.. Nothing. He did nothing. And she still wants him so much. He doesn't even imagine.

He pulls her closer with a hand snaking around her waist firmly and finds his way between her legs with another. Dara leans backwards, squeezing her palm on his wrist when he slides into her. He's painfully slow and when his full length is inside, he stops and places sloppy kisses at the base of her neck.

Sandara feels everything at once and it's a hard punch on her senses. And when he starts moving, she can't find any strenght to moan less louder. The only thing she cares about is him thrusting rapidly, his low grunts to her ear and the sound of skin slapping and it's the most erotic sound she has ever heard. Her head is spinning, it's impossible to stay still and she has nothing to cling to. Dara grips on the wrist of his hands and he starts to make steady rhythmic circles on her clit; Jiwon bites her ear, places a kiss there after and she meowls at his next words, feeling how the world turns into a blur when she turns her head, trying to look at him.

- Do it yourself, c'mon, - he can persued her to do anything with that voice. And he does. Jiwon tugs her palm and places it under his, letting Sandara doing it. She shuts her eyes tightly, finding herself equally ashamed and exciting, - Have you ever done it while thinking about me?

Jiwon doesn't stop even for a bit, but Dara can sense that he's a lot erratic and impatient now. He moans in her shoulder when she squeezes him and Dara is not twenty anymore. It's not like he could make her blush at everything he does or says. Even tho she can't help but blush hard.

- And you? - she shows one of her hand backwards, pulling on his hair and he particularly growls, - I know that you have.

Jiwon doesn't answer her, instead he thrusts harder, placing his forehead to the crook of her neck and guides her fingers to move, because she's so lost, she can't control her own body. She's on her toes by now, pushing her hips into his every time he puts any more pressure and it's so overwhelming. It's too much, she loses her sanity.

- I have and I'm not proud of it, - Jiwon whispers to her ear and she feels every part of her body tensing, like strings and she doesn't know if it's his husky voice, or scent in which she's drowning or his powerful movements. It's everything about him mixed up, that made her see blurred bright circles under her eyelids. She doesn't have strength to moan, just silent broken exhale and she grips his hair so hard, her fingers ache.

Jiwon pulls her impossibly close, he pushes her to the wall and after few moments she feels the loss of him, whimpering at the feeling. It feels cold suddenly, when he doesn't hold her anymore, now supporting himself with his hand on the wall. Dara turns around, nearly falling and covers his hand with hers and it's his turn to moan silently; there is not even a second when he releases in her palm, grunting low 'fuck' somewhere below her ear.

They stay like that.. Dara doesn't know for how many minutes. She listens to his now less erratic breath and tries to calm her own. It's like she's in another world right now, she doesn't know what to think about.

Right now, Sandara doesn't want to think about anything.

It's silence and than there is coffee machine beeping wildly, and she jumps in surprise, making Jiwon flinch and he.. laughs. Jiwon is laughing quietly, kissing her cheek and he hugs her gently, adjusting her dress so it falls down again.

She doesn't want to think about anything, but ahe does and it's not pleasant. If he would leave today, if he would go and forget about it, Dara doesn't know what would she do then. She doesn't want him to think that she does it everytime, because God knows she has a fucking checklist for a man who claims to get her in the bed.

Jiwon took that list, screwed it up and threw it to somewhere around her dignity.

God.

- If you still think I'm going to leave, you are dumb, - he kisses her again, placing small pecks on her face, looking at her finally. With such adoration, she's sure she feels butterflies in her stomach having a great party.

Maybe it's not that bad?

Dara thought he was going to despise her. She really did. She even accepted it in some way. But he smiles gently at her, kissing the tip of her nose and she sighs deeply, bumping her forehead on his shoulder to hide that happily stupid smile.

- I asked you to not to do that, please, - he kisses her temple, laughing and hugging her so strong her ribs clench.

- It's not like I sleep with women like that, you know. I'm no less surprised with myself right now, - he kisses her temple again and Dara can't help but close her eyes, drowning in his comfort, - What if you would think I'm not decent enough for you? Too careless or something?

- You are not, - she looks at him, finding him nodding to her answer.

- And so you too, - she proceed it for a second, not finding any lies in his words and frowns, realising that it's difficult to fight with logic.

- You might be not wrong, - he laughs at her choice of words and moves away, to adjust his clothes and goes to turn off the poor coffee machine that is still trying to keep coffee warm.

Dara looks at him from afar, smiling. He always says that he's not sure if he can make people comfortable; yet she has never been more comfortable around anyone.

And would never be, perhaps. That's why she doesn't regret anything.

She hugs him from behind, bumping her forehead between his shoulder blades, feeling his warm hands, stroking hers so gently she wants to cry.

He's not going to let her regret it. And she would do everything to make the same for him.

- If we wouldn't go to sleep in five minutes, I would fall asleep here, and than, - he stresses it, locking his fingers with hers, - You are totally going to regret it.

- You, my teenage crush, just had me against the wall in my fluffy slippers, I'm not going to regret anything at this point, - Dara hears him laughing and she shakes her head, squeezing his fingers stronger, - Let's go.

[study4engineering]

hello, hope you're having a good day. can i get any advice on how to fit a part time job (which is like a 7 hour shift) while taking a semester worth of 18 credit hours? that's honestly a heavy course load, where 3 of the courses I'm taking are labs and the rest are theory. not to brag but my gpa is currently excellent and I want to keep it that way, but I'm also financially going downhill and I won't have enough time to study the way I used to before if I go for the job :/

hey you :) Thank you first of all! My day was full of studying…I hate exam season but back to your problem :

First off all I’m happy for you and that you get good grades I don’t think it’s bragging !

I just assume that you study engineering in the US ( for everybody else I got a second message telling me the major ) ? As I’m from Germany I don’t know how many credit point you need for your undergrad/ Bachelor / whatever but I might tell you about my experiences first off all.

In Germany we need 180 cp to get the bachelor degree and I’m taking 24cp this semester ( I still have to take the exams ) That’s one class fewer than recommended /4 instead of 5 ) to get your degree in 3 years. But I don’t even try that. I will graduate in 7 or 8 semesters. I have to pay 300 Euros per year for the university. That’s it so it’s no big deal to me but I know in some countries education is extremely expensive. Next semester I work two jobs, this semester only one. My schedule is so structured that I have one complete day off from classes. On this day I go to the research center ( It belongs to the university ) and do my work at the lab. I wake up at 6.30am start working at 7.30 and go home at 2pm. After work I still have energy and time to study since I can work at my own peace and got no one who tells me what I need to do. I’m also allowed to (almost) not work at all through exam season since my boss once studied engineering herself and understands my lack of time. BUT I started with a 20h work per month contract to have enough time for studying so I usually leave work at 12.30am. I have still a lot of time for homework etc. I can only recommend to work at university/ research centers. The second job is giving tuition on campus. it’s right before or after my regular class so I don’t lose much study time. These kind of jobs are usually extremely well paid. You have to physically work 9h per month + answering emails and get paid for 30h.

I was really afraid that I won’t be able to work and to study. I wanted to do ta uition job earlier but you need extremely good grades so the university staff will ask you to work for them. Tbh I’m just average in regard of marks.

So after unnecessary stuff about myself (I’m sorry but I want to explain that I’m still human and need plenty of time to study like a lot of other people too). I have no magic formula but invest your time wisely. Search for the job that is best paid for the workload you do. In Germany it’s a thing to already work in companies that do engineering stuff as a student so you actually learn something while working and you already have work experience to show off. Sometimes they even hire you right away after you graduated because they already know you and your work so they don’t mind at all if you took longer to get your degree. I don’t know if it’s possible to you to take fewer classes aka graduating later but your education should stay your priority.  

Search for a job that gives you enough flexibility to adjust working to your schedule,

Try to work at times you know you wouldn’t be studying anyways

giving tuition ??

Start with a workload you know you can handle. Start little.

(if you have the choose ) start working at semester 3 or 4 maybe then you already got a hang of university and you can better judge your time management.

Try to be realistic but determined. It’s not about the amount of hours you study but how effectively you use them

To be honest : I wouldn’t work as a waitress. All my respect to you guys but this job is stressful and you sometimes have to work unexpected bc your coworker is ill.. It’s a freaking hard job and I probs wouldn’t be able to study that much if I had a job where people count on me like that. so

be picky ( if you have the possibility to be so). If you already feel like you sacrifice your education that job has to be freaking good )

Maybe I should make a more structured post about that soon with actual tips but I don’t want to let you wait even tho I’m done after a 9h marathon at the library.

Combing work and studying is something that still scares me sometimes but I just do it and if it’s too much to me, well then I have to stop working..

[silenceofthemongooses]

hi! I hope I'm not bothering you but I can see ur attending CU. I'm planning on applying to either the school of art or engineering, but I'm leaning more towards art. I'm really at a loss when it comes to applying, home tests,and the general enviorment of the school.. and what to do after I graduate so I was just curious on what that's all like :0 sorry for making this so long .. thank u for ur time!

OMG THIS IS THE ASK I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT COOPER

i’m putting it under a readmore bc it got crazy long??? i’m not even to the part where i yell about applications yet and it’s like ten paragraphs lmao

so. 

first things first. 

i applied to cooper in the first place because when i took the tour (best fucking college tour i took the whole time, by the way. all of the guides LOVE cooper and they love telling you about it, so if you get a chance, defo go on the tour bc theyre way more honest and you get a better feel for the school than on any other tour) one of the things that they emphasized was the student community., one told me that once when she walked into the EE lab and asked to borrow someone’s phone charger because hers had frayed so badly it wasn’t working. not only did someone give her a charger, but they fixed her charger until she could get a new one. 

and when i got here, it’s totally fucking true. cooper is a community in every definition of the word. everyone is totally willing to help you in any way that they can, because that’s the kind of people that cooper admits and then fosters that behavior. 

now. the reason they foster this behavior is because it’s a fucking hard school. the standard course load for a freshman engineer first semester is 18.5 credits, spread out over 7 classes plus a professional seminar. and yeah, some of those are only one or two credit classes, but they still have homework and class time. it is a rigorous schedule that only gets harder. professor alan wolf (physics, more on him later maybe? i have him next semester, we’ll see if the Rumors are true) said at an engineering faculty panel that he wants physics to be moved to first semester of freshman year (instead of second) because the transition from “an easy first semester” to a semester with physics and calc 2 was too difficult for a lot of students. everyone around me groaned when he said the first semester was easy. 

and this is just the engineering school! the art school is hard as hell too. keep in mind that what i know about the art program is just synthesized from talking to art students and not at all from personal experience. but. 

the first year of art is a foundation year. they assume you don’t know anything, and break you down to basics. the art ra in the dorms said her freshman year was incredibly hard for her both as an artist and as a person just because she was confronted with all these other talented people and having to face that she wasn’t The Artist in school anymore. i regularly leave the student lounge (menschel) at two in the morning only for art kids to walk in, holding all of their materials (although, not anymore, since someone got charcoal all over the tables in 3a lmao) and settling in for another all-nighter. 

cooper is a culture of intense rigor and stress, and there is no overcoming that. but it’s also a culture of community and supporting each other. it’s a really specific kind of school that some people find just isn’t for them. 

also, cooper is like, really small. like. very small. here are some of the things you will encounter because of cooper union’s limited budget and facilities, and which you basically have to accept:

no dining hall. there’s frankie’s cafe in the new academic building (also known as the engineering building, most commonly referred to as the nab) but otherwise there is absolutely no meal plan. frankie’s has like, sandwiches and muffins and bagels and (terrible) coffee, but it is in no way a full college dining hall. 

no gym. i think at one point we were allowed to use nyu’s facilities? no longer. almost everyone i know belongs to a gym. i myself visit the planet fitness on union square maaaybe once a month when i guilt myself into it. blink is a popular option. if you’re willing to spare the cash equinox is also there. crunch is the one that everyone kind of makes fun of but like it’s super close so go for it if you want. 

small supporting staff. this is both a blessing and a curse. i know everyone in the student affairs office by first name and usually they know me. i think at this point i’ve met everyone in the financial aid department. cool, because it means that they know me. bad, because it means i’ve had to talk to all of them to figure out what the hell is going on with my scholarships and how much money i actually know. this is not a school where there are online systems in place to fix any problems you have. you have to be your own advocate to the administration, and as much as they desperately want to help you, a lot of the time it comes down to just making sure your paperwork goes through. good news is you almost never have to make an appointment to talk to someone you just show up. 

very little interaction between the schools. there are three schools. art, architecture, and engineering. engineering is by far the most populated, followed by art, then architecture. if i didn’t live with two artists, i would never talk to anyone in art or architecture. yes, the hss classes are multidisciplinary, but just statistically, engineers far outweigh the artists. there weren’t even any architects in my hss1 class. if you don’t make the effort to reach out beyond your school, it straight up doesn’t happen. 

sometimes when you go to the basics plus to get some hangers because you ordered too many shirts online and now they’re just kind of shoved in your drawers and when the cashier asks if you have a student id and you pull out your cooper id she’s like “oh! is that local?” and you have to smile and say yes and when you walk out of the store you can see the foundation building down third with absolutely no problem

there’s more and i’ll think of them later but this is good for now

ANYWAYS i have a lot more thoughts on the culture of cooper??? but i think i’m going to leave it here because this is a decent overview of how i feel and what the most important parts are. 

now.

for applying.

again, i applied to and am in the engineering school. everything i know about the art school is based on talking to art students

also, i am in no way affiliated with the actual admissions department and the following is just based on my experiences as someone who applied and talking to other people who applied

also at first i thought you were applying this cycle and i was like. honey. this is not enough time for either application

BUT THEN i put an ounce more thought into it and realized not everyone younger than me is a high school senior lmao

anyways!

both applications are really intensive. to get art out of the way (sorry art) it’s a series of prompts that you have to create a piece in response to. some artists i know got crazy super stressed about it, and pulled so many all nighters, and skipped a lot of homework to do it, and overall just did not enjoy it. one of my artist roommates, however, said that she actually really enjoyed the process? she just let herself create without worrying “is this what will get me in?” and felt that it was a really great experience. 

either way, you’re going to have an interesting experience. 

for the engineering writing prompts, it’s a goddamn marathon. there were nine, i think, when i applied? i applied to eleven schools and i had to write seventeen supplements. the ratio of supplement-to-school was way off and its all cooper’s fault lmao

there isn’t a word minimum, but there is a word maximum per essay, a fact i discovered as i was copy-pasting mine into the commonapp from my googledocs file. i think the max is 500 words? not positive tho don’t quote me

anyways they’re all fairly standard questions. like, nothing out of the blue like chicago’s or whatever. but keep in mind that this is honestly where you’re going to get admitted. a lot of people apply to cooper. and a lot of those people will have the same exact stats as you (btw, sat/act scores and gpa matter slightly more for engineers than for artists and architects) and the way to distinguish yourself is through your writing. cooper admits you as a person because they believe you’ll add to their community and then to the world, not because you got a perfect score on whatever. 

so i, at least, let myself be a little freer in my cooper essays than in any other supplement. some of them i could answer right away (why cooper? why engineering?) and some of them i had to think about for a few days. the last one i wrote was the “tell us about something you read recently”. i wrote about staying up until three in the morning reading a novel and crying. i wrote it the next day because i realized that’s like, exactly who i am as a person. 

the biggest tip i have for writing these essays in general (not just for cooper) is to watch food network star or something similar. the contestants get prompted on how to hook an audience (hey, you want to do that too!) in a short amount of time (word count) and tell a story that relates to both them and their food (a story that relates to you and and why you’re going to be a bombass cooper student) like, just watch a few, and then you’ll kind of have the flow of it down, and you can figure out how to work it into your own writing

just like, really show who you are. i know it can be tempting to put on this facade, and to a certain extent you should (do not, for example, tell them about the time you got so drunk you pissed your pants) but do your best to express yourself, in either application. 

um anyways i am always down to talk about any aspect of The Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, so if you ever want any more info on anything, hit up my inbox!

my points of expertise include the dorms, classes, stanislav mintchev the greatest math professor in the history of the world, ray’s pizza, sitting in the engineering student council meetings and listening to all the Hot Goss, and more

i mighttttt end up putting up like “a week in my life” post at some point because i always think those are cool and maybe it would be neato

we’ll see

(if anyone want to see that…… or anything else……. lmk……..)

[zehturtle]

Fanime experience, merch, autographs, and more. Quick info blurbs if you click on the images!

Quick and wordy thoughts of the event after the jump. (Warning there’s a lot)

Quick takes: -I had a good time. -Spent too much money. -Met some great artists/people. -Missed out on a few autographs/merch(notably Shigeto Koyama & Hiroyasu Kobayashi...). -Cons aren’t really what they used to be for me anymore. -Sorry I missed a few names for recognition.

Long takes/thoughts:

Overall I had a pretty good time. I usually just go with one of my old friends I’ve known since forever and almost only see maybe once or twice a year due to various reasons. Fanime has sort of become an annual trip now, possibly, maybe. We did discuss it after going this time around since it’s our I think 3rd or 4th time. If it does become our annual trip it’ll be interesting once I talk about other stuff later. It’s hard to describe since I enjoyed my time there due to hanging out with my friend and then other friends who came along after so the day was good but the convention itself I’ve got some mixed feelings about.

I went there mainly to hang out with my friend and going there I figured I’d be spending money since when I go I tend to try to support artists I like or just when I find something I find interesting. I told myself, “I’ll only spend up to this much but I probably shouldn’t” and then ended up spending it all anyways with the only thing stopping me from spending more was the fact that the vendor’s hall and artist’s alley closing which was both a blessing and a curse! Also later on in the day my friend’s brother and his friends also joined up for more shenanigans. Bought lots of merch as you can see posted today, play or watched a few of them play some video games, went out for some food late at night, and had some good conversations before, during, and after the event.

Some things I found for the first time at the convention in the vendor’s hall at a booth were animation cels from various old school shows! There was Ranma animation cels, Ronin Warriors, Tenchi Muyo, Macross, and a bunch of others. I was totally surprised and it was one of the things I found early on that I wanted to come back through after we went and explored the event first, but sadly I ended up missing out on because of waiting in line for autographs that I didn’t even end up getting. T_T   I also missed out on some prints for the same reason as the animation cels and because I did the wait and see, go browse everything then come back for it later which gotten sold out. That’s entirely on me though and realistically not that big of a deal since I have so many posters I’ve no clue what to even do with them at this point.

So, thanks to all the artist who talked to me, signed my sketchbook, or that I bought merch from. For the most part I don’t think I had any problems with anyone other than a little too shy to their customers but that’s a typical occurrence. I know some didn’t seem very enthusiastic about signing my sketchbook so for that I’m grateful that they were still willing to do so. It’s always a bit of a tough deal because I know sometimes people don’t want to do it and I do make it a point to say they have to sign it at all but I understand that feels like added pressure too. I’m just honestly a fan and like to collect things from people I find of some interest in. One could argue I’ve become a bit of a hoarder because of that but that’s something for another time. There’s a few notables that I met and had a good to sizable conversation with at the con, and even more surprising was how long I had one with someone who was super busy manning their own booth. I did feel bad but he kept telling me it was ok. I hope I do meet him again in the future be it at another convention or just outside. 

On to the not so great part(s). I was waiting in line for the  Shigeto Koyama & Hiroyasu Kobayashi ‘s autograph session but sadly it was cut off before I could get there. About 2/3 of the way through, which was about 45-50min into the session they had decided that doing both drawings and signings at the same time was too time consuming so the staff announced that they had to cut off the drawing portion and see if they could get to everyone. At the time only maybe about 10-15 people got to meet the both of them, and then only about another 10-15 people got only autographs at the time. The thing that I was a little upset about was that the time for only signatures portion wasn’t that much different from people who got drawings and signatures. I thought to myself once it was announced that we’d only get signatures, “well at least it’ll be going faster since it’s just signatures” but then I don’t know what went wrong. I don’t get it, were the ones that went in for only signatures allowed to talk to them for nearly the same amount of time as those before who got drawings to go with the signatures? I’ve no clue and I couldn’t tell either because the line was blocked off by a wall to the signing so you had to walk passed the wall to go into the signing section and since I was in line I couldn’t check it out. It killed 1hr-1hr30min and around that time it was close to closing time for vendors and artist alley. That was probably the worst part of the adventure since I was really anticipating this autograph session. It’s fine though, can’t win them all.

Now onto probably a bit of something else a tad more negative. The event itself was kind of lack luster and felt kind of like just a straight up cash grab. There wasn’t anything spectacular on Sunday going on that you wouldn’t really see anywhere else. To be more clear on that point, I meant there wasn’t anything over the top or anything that stood out like “Ah, this is why you should have gone this year or you don’t want to miss out on this.”. It felt kind of watered down to me as honestly a lot of conventions have been recently, at least to me. It’s great to meet artists, it’s great to go to panels, vendors, etc., but I felt the vibe wasn’t there that would have made this one this year really special. I know after you’ve gone to a few it can start to feel like more of the same o’l, but isn’t part of the point of these events to make them memorable and exciting? I can go on about this a lot deeper but I’m just going to leave it at that for now. I’m a little disappointed as far as how the event itself was, but I still enjoyed the people I met and the things I got. It might sound completely weird to some for me to say that at the same time, almost hypocritical but it honestly felt like the effort to make it a show was not there. This is just my opinion so anyone out there that went and would say otherwise I’m ok with that. 

I gotta apologize to the artists that I missed giving credit to who signed my sketchbook. Yesterday was a long but eventful day and I truly do appreciate everyone who signed the sketchbook. Next time around I’ll keep better track of everyone. Til next time!

I know there was a significant portion of this post that was ranting but I honestly had a good time and I’m glad to have been able to go with my friend and others who met up with us later on in the day. Also it was great to see and talk to everyone I met. Thanks for anyone who read this far!