#those are not things 'vecna' would use against them so to speak

[archive2394934]

trying to make henry homophobic when hes been abused and oppressed his entire life for being noticeably “different” (Which you know, you could actually read as being metaphorical to someone who is openly queer but what does my gay ass know lol) and that is literally the reason hes trying to fight to change the world so people like him who are “different” dont have to suffer under social constructs & systematic oppression, partic if you also hc him as queer, are still and will always be the worst takes on this character and in this fandom and I cant believe I keep having to see them in real time. 

[therainscene]

I've described myself in the past as "overly-queerbaited" as a way of explaining why it took me so long to come around to Byler endgame as a legitimate possibility... but that's kind of a misleading way of putting it.

Truth is, I've always been too much of a cynical fuck to fall for queerbait... or any other story that promises positive queer rep.

[Sherlock couldn't touch me; I saw this cringe homophobia coming from a mile away. Fans mistaking straight anxiety jokes for meaningful gay subtext was clearly doomed to end in mockery. Nobody deserved to be treated like that... but god, it was easy to predict.]

I think it's a symptom of having grown up under Section 28 -- feeling like I'm being unreasonable for wanting to see queerness normalized is such an ingrained habit that even today I instinctively recoil like a vampire touching sunlight whenever an optimistic queer story falls unrequested into my lap.

But I'm hardly alone in feeling this way -- many queer Millennial and Gen-X fans of Stranger Things are against the idea of Byler because it would ruin the catharsis of watching the gay boy growing up in the same era as we did slowly succumb to the same despair that we did.

[For those who haven't played the VR game: Vecna is speaking in this screenshot.]

There's genuine comfort to be found in painful stories -- this type of catharsis is practically the cornerstone of horror as a genre -- so I can't really fault myself or anyone else for wanting it, despite the obnoxious oversaturation of disappointing queer endings in media.

This is the nostalgia show, after all -- and like it or not, for many middle-aged queers in the target audience, nostalgia is shot through with the pain of homophobia and loneliness.

But do you know who else is a hurt queer(-coded) adult who resents happy endings? This cynical fuck:

Henry personifies despair and loneliness and the dark urge to take our pain out on others -- and when Will is in the picture, I would argue that he also represents internalized homophobia.

Will might represent who we were -- but Henry represents who we've let ourselves turn into.

And I don't think many of us want to admit to that, because that would involve questioning why we have so much in common with the literal villain of the show; why we're still so consumed with self-pity after 20+ years that we're obsessing over the fate of some kid.

I'm not suggesting that wanting a less-than-fairytale ending for a fictional gay boy is equivalent to being a child killer lol. It's perfectly valid to want to see your pain acknowledged, and stories which appeal to that desire deserve to exist.

But between Henry's connection to Will and the cycle of abuse themes of the show, it's clear that this particular story simply isn't about wallowing in the bleakness of growing up gay in the 80s, but about self-actualizing in spite of it all.

So I just can't bring myself to want a "relatable" ending for Will.

As much as I struggle to enjoy positive queer rep, I don't want to be so cynical. I'd thrown up so many walls to protect myself as a teenager that I forgot how desperately I wanted to see just one of those painful queer stories end on the same uplifting note that straight stories were always entitled to: with true love overcoming the odds, saving the day, and living happily ever after.

[But I'm A Cheerleader, a surprisingly fun movie about conversion therapy, is proof that stories like this did exist when I was a teen... but finding them in the pre- and early-internet days amidst so much censorship was a tall order.]

What makes Stranger Things different from most queer stories -- and what allowed it to pierce through my defenses and stab me in the gut -- is that it perfectly mimics those bleak, acceptable-to-the-censors stories from my youth -- only this time, the secret uplifting gay plot twist is real.

Not for the sake of shock value or of grabbing some empty woke points at the last second, but because the plan all along was to slap the audience in the face for believing homophobic lies about the existence of queer happiness.

That's some gourmet catharsis, if you ask me.

Just the possibility that my inner child might finally be vindicated has allowed me to truly let myself want the things I want for the first time in 20 years -- and that's the first step towards finally crawling back out into the sunlight.

Happy Pride Month, everyone. 🌈

[estrellami-1]

More Time (Please)

“Make him pay.”

Steve’s eyes widen in horror. “No,” he murmurs. “Please-”

He doesn’t know what he’s hoping for. That Eddie will say something else, maybe; that happens sometimes, right? People say things more than once. Surely this isn’t it, surely this isn’t the last time they’ll speak to each other—

Eddie’s eyes are widening, and Steve knows he feels the telltale burn of a soulmark, shearing the connection.

“Steve,” Robin calls, jogging back to tug on his arm. “We’ve gotta go, c’mon, it’s time.”

Numb, he lets himself be pulled away.

She glances at him, then back at Eddie a few times. “What was that about?”

He swallows the sob that wants to come out. “Our soulmarks.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh, Steve,” she murmurs.

He glances down at it. Still red. He knows it’s probably going to be the bats. He wishes any number of things, but is reminded of the story his grandma used to tell him. “There’s nothing we can do to change it,” he whispers along with the voice in his head, the same cadence as his grandma.

“Maybe,” she tries. “Maybe- you could go back now, just… yell something at him?”

“Don’t you think the soulmark would know?” He asks sadly. “You can’t cheat the system, Robs, not with this. Those are the last words I’ll ever hear him say.”

“I can’t lose you, Steve,” she whispers, and suddenly his eyes are filled with tears, and he attacks her in a hug, pulling her in until she squeaks.

“I love you, Robin,” he whispers.

“I love you. So much.”

“So much,” he agrees.

Up ahead, Nancy’s waiting on them. “Guys,” she calls. “We have to go. I know you’re scared, I am too, but we don’t have long.”

Steve takes a deep breath. “You’re right,” he agrees, and marches on, holding Robin’s hand tightly in his.

Neither of them try to let go until they have to.

Steve gets slammed against the wall by some vines, and they wind around him until he feels like he understands what asthma feels like, and then beyond that, cracking his ribs and bruising his throat, more, more, more, until suddenly they stop, release him, and he falls onto the wooden floor, scraping his hands and knees and earning a couple of splinters.

He hacks out a cough, stumbles back onto his feet, and follows Nancy and Robin into the belly of the beast.

They find Vecna right where they think they will and attack, and Steve thinks he’s screaming but the rushing of blood in his ears is louder than anything else, and he can’t hear himself, can’t check if he is, just keeps going, does what he can to help weaken Vecna, to help destroy him.

It’s over suddenly, Vecna dead, body riddled with bullets, and Steve glances down at his soulmark, hoping against all hope that it’s still red.

His heart drops through the floor when he sees grey instead.

He tears out of the house, sprints the entire way back, yelling for Eddie, but when he gets there he sees he really is too late.

Dustin’s sitting by his side, bottom lip quivering, tears streaming down his face, and Steve collapses next to him, flutters his hands around Eddie.

Ignoring the blood and gore, he looks almost peaceful, and Steve suddenly knows this is how he would look fifty years from then, dying from old age instead, in a world where their soulmarks gave them more time.

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[dreamofbecoming]

here we are at last! there have been a bunch of posts lately about how neither eddie nor robin have any gaydar to speak of, but steve canonically does, and also vickie definitely left fast times paused on purpose as a flag, and frankly all of you are just so objectively True and Correct that i had no choice but to write about it. parts 1 and 2 not strictly necessary for context but definitely set in the same universe

part 1 part 2 ao3

platonic stobin, rockie, steddie

rating: t

wc: 8.4k (holy fuck it got away from me)

---

Robbie isn't drunk yet, but she's getting there.

Honestly, Steve should probably slow her down, but what the hell. They're celebrating, after all. He'll cut her off in a bit, but she deserves to have some fun. They all do.

It's been three weeks since Eddie got out of the hospital, one since he was finally let off bedrest. Or, not exactly bedrest, but enough restrictions that he was basically confined to the trailer (brand new, courtesy of Owens and his goons), and from the way he complained the whole time you'd think they had him chained to the bedposts.

Hm. Maybe thinking of Eddie chained to bedposts isn't the best use of Steve's time. Not here, anyway. That's a Later activity.

It's the first house party any of them have been invited to since Spring Break, thrown by one of Robin's band friends. None of them planned on going, except that two days ago a frantic call came over the All Hands channel on the walkie that El had finally broken through, Max was awake, and the doctors thought her arms and legs would eventually, almost, make a full recovery, granted with lots of physical therapy.

Apparently the only useful thing Vecna ever did was break her bones at right angles so they could set them cleanly. Her vision will probably never fully return, but she's alive. She's alive, and she's awake, and she's apparently being a complete menace to the nurses, which is more comforting to Steve than any of the rest of it, so how could they ask for anything else?

Steve still feels like he's taking his first real breath after drowning every time he inhales. He's not sure he'll ever stop feeling this relief. It's so sharp it's almost painful.

So they're at this party, and they're celebrating. There's a real celebration planned, of course, with the whole Party and assorted extras, Murray (ugh) and Jonathan's California friend (who seems nice), Joyce and Hopper (and isn't that a trip) and Eddie and Wayne (Eddie read him in immediately, to no one's surprise) and everyone else. They've got plans to descend on Steve's house as soon as Max is allowed out of the hospital, where they'll presumably trash his mother's nice white carpets and eat through his snacks like locusts and enrage his neighbors with their shrieking in the pool. Hopper and Wayne will fight over who gets to work the grill until Joyce gets fed up and takes over and Eddie will commandeer the sound system and Robin will laugh at Steve for frantically switching between Host Mode and Lifeguard Mode until she finds someone big enough to sit on him and make him eat something. He can't wait.

But for now, they're at this party, and they're celebrating. With someone else's alcohol, which is a nice treat for Steve.

He's leaning against the wall by the kitchen doorway, sipping something Robin made him that tastes like paint thinner and looks like undiluted red food dye. He's surprised it hasn't eaten through the bottom of the cup like that green gunk from the elevator. He doesn't quite feel like joining the crush of people in the living room. He's felt a little off since Spring Break, a little lost inside his head. He knows Robin can tell, but she hasn't pushed him, other than dragging him here tonight. He's so grateful for her he thinks he could cry.

He doesn't, though, he just watches her from the kitchen doorway, squished on a couch between Vickie and who he thinks might be one of Eddie's bandmates. He recognizes him from those nights he would pick the kids up from Hellfire at the school, and also from Eddie's hospital room. He's got fluffy hair and a flannel shirt around his waist. Gary, maybe? Garth? Steve's not sure. He'd introduce himself and find out for sure, but apparently, carrying Eddie's bleeding not-quite-corpse on his back into the hospital and throwing around his father's name until someone agreed to treat him before collapsing in the lobby from his own injuries wasn't quite enough to erase the contempt for King Steve, so Steve's been mostly avoiding those guys. Eddie swears he's working on it. Steve...should maybe care more than it feels like he does. He thinks maybe a lot of things should feel more...more, than they do. But that's a problem for Later Steve. It's fine. He's fine. He's handling it.

He watches Robin, and she's laughing, and she's not quite drunk yet, and he's glad for her. This is what he wanted. This is what he wished for, on that flipped over bucket, in that field. That they'd all get through it. That they'd all get to keep smiling and doing stupid teenager shit. He maybe wishes he felt a little more like someone who wanted to do stupid teenager shit and a little less like someone watching his friends have fun from behind a plate-glass window, but he'll take it. Whatever he can get, he'll take it.

He looks back at Robin, and, huh. She's still laughing, but now she's between Eddie and Maybe-Gary-Maybe-Garth. He follows Robin's less-than-subtle (crimeny, this girl, he's gotta teach her a goddamn poker face) longing gaze and sees a flash of red heading for the back door.

This feels like a chance to do something useful. Robin will be ok, Eddie will keep an eye on her.

He follows Vickie out the back door. He finds her leaned against the back of the house, her eyes closed, her head tilted back. She's smiling. She really is pretty, Steve can see why Robin likes her. God, he hopes he's right about her. Either way, he's determined to find out. It's what Robin deserves.

"Hey, Vickie. Come out for some fresh air?"

Her smile gets bigger when she turns to him. He really hopes he's right about her, she's a fucking sweetheart. He hopes he isn't about to do something hugely stupid. Knowing him, he probably is, but also knowing him, he's gonna do it anyway.

"Hey Steve! Yeah, I was just getting a little warm in there. How about you? Smoke break?"

"Nah, I'm trying to quit. Robin hates them, she keeps stealing them out of my mouth, so it's somehow more expensive and I don't even get to smoke them. Easier to just stop. Which is probably her goal," he laughs.

"You and Robin are pretty close, huh?"

"Oh yeah, platonic soulmates. With a capital P!" He makes an incredibly dorky gesture with his hands, and has to stop himself from facepalming. Great going, dingus.

Still, Vickie's smile gets a little wider, which he thinks is probably a win.

"That's why I came out here, actually. I wanted a chance to talk to you." Her eyebrows go up. Always with the goddamn eyebrows around here. "Not, like, in a creepy way! Or, well, I guess that's what a creep would say, but I swear I'm not! I just meant, because Robin really likes you," shit, too much, "I mean, she likes hanging out with you, and she's my best friend and all, so I wanted to. Um. Get to know you better. You know. For Robin."

"...For Robin."

He groans. "I swear I didn't used to be like this. I used to be able to talk like a normal person. I didn't know that was a skill you could lose! I would have worked harder at it!" She's laughing at him now, but at least she's polite enough to hide her giggles behind her hand. That's something.

He sighs, and throws his head back to take a deep breath and try and come back to his body, like Robin showed him. Having therapist parents sounds like a nightmare to Steve, but it has its uses, he guesses.

He looks back at Vickie, who is watching him with what seems like more amusement than concern, so he's taking that as a win. If she's laughing, she's not running away. He sticks his hand out.

"Hi, I'm Steve. You're really important to the most important person in my life, so I'd really like to be your friend." He tries to give her his most winning smile, but honestly he's a little worried his teeth are still red from that godawful drink.

She grins at him, still definitely laughing at him a little but more genuine than before, and shakes his hand. "I'm Vickie, and you're really important to someone I hope will become really important to me, so I'd love to be your friend."

He doesn't breathe a sigh of relief, but it's a close thing. King Steve decided to stay in tonight, apparently, so he's on his own, and boy oh boy is he worse than he remembered.

"So, new friend, what do you want to get to know about me?"

Thank fuck Vickie's carrying so much of the weight here, honestly.

"We could, uh, talk about movies?" Jesus Christ, where did all the goddamn Harrington Charm go, anyway? Did Vecna eat it?!

There go the eyebrows again. He's cursed, he really is. "Movies?"

"Yeah, you know, I work at a movie store. Or I did, anyway. With Robbie. Pretty sure it went under in the quake though. That or Keith just fired us and didn't bother calling to let us know." He laughs awkwardly. He's doing fucking everything awkwardly, honestly. He hasn't even asked the question yet and he's already sweating bullets. No wonder Bobbie was so scared to confront this head-on. "Anyway, it can tell you a lot about a person, you know. Their favorite movie."

Come on, take the bait. Take it.

She nods seriously at him. "Oh I get that for sure, you can learn a lot about someone by their favorite book. I used to volunteer at the library and there was always gossip about who checked out what romance novel and whether that meant their marriage was on the rocks, you know?" She giggles, hiding behind her hand for a second. "I guess it was kind of mean, but we never said anything to anyone outside the library, and never to their face, you know? It was just something to keep us entertained on slow days."

Fantastic, he can work with this.

"Oh totally, I completely get it. Robs and I did the same thing at Family Video, making up stories about what we imagined people's lives were like that they were renting Casablanca and Gremlins on the same night, you know? Like, what does that evening look like? Which one do they watch first?"

She laughs. Perfect. She took the bait, now he's just gotta reel her in. Or something. He's never been fishing.

"You know, I usually rent my movies from Family Video. Did you guys ever look up my rental history?"

Aaaand, got her!

"You know, I think we did, actually, not that I'm helping the creep allegations," he winks at her. She slaps him on the shoulder. There we go, there's the Harrington Charm. Jesus fuck, where has it been all night? Sleeping?

Moment of truth, here we go.

"Fast Times At Ridgemont High, right?" He keeps his eyes on her face while he says it. He needs to see how she reacts.

She's been watching a raccoon rummaging through the neighbor's trash, but as soon as he mentions the movie, she whips her head around and looks at him sharply.

She studies his face intently in the glow from the floodlights above the garage. Whatever she finds, the fear in her eyes fades just slightly to caution. All good signs.

Fuck, this is harder than he remembers. Talking in code and reading all the subtle little shifts in body language involved in this conversation is stretching muscles in his brain he's forgotten he had. His friends these days all just sort of...say whatever they mean, straight out. He thought it was weird and off-putting at first, but now that he's doing this dance again, he's realizing he hasn't missed it.

The things he does for Robin, honestly.

He can see the moment she decides to trust him, even though she's still tense. She takes a deep breath, like she's gearing up for something. "That's a good one, for sure. You know, I think I maybe forgot to rewind it the last time I returned it? I paused it at my favorite part, but I think I got distracted and never finished it. I hope that doesn't cause too much trouble for you guys at your job. I'd hate to be one of those customers."

Jesus, this chick is brave. She's basically just coming right out and saying it! Holy shit, he's about to get Robbie a girlfriend! Ok, ok be cool. Bring it home, nice and easy.

"Nah, not a problem at all. Besides, I think I remember that tape, and we have the same favorite part, I think. All three of us." Fuck he hopes this isn't a mistake. If he just fucked up and outed Robin for no reason he'll- fuck, he doesn't know what he'll do. Ask El to open the gate back up so he can throw himself into it, probably.

Vickie's eyes go wide. "Robin too?" There's something like hope in her voice. He thinks. He hopes, anyway. Maybe he's just projecting, but he really thinks he's been right on the money from the start. He just needs to prove it to Rob and give them both a push.

"Yeah, Robin too. Now me, I like Fast Times a lot, but I also really like The Outsiders, you know?" A truth for a truth. Nothing is free, he remembers this dance. Trust is always earned.

He didn't realize her eyes could get any bigger, but somehow they do. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. "Really? Uh, me too! Those are...both...really good movies, you know?"

"Totally!" He's grinning now too, he can't help it. He's so excited for Robbie he might explode. This is the most alive he's felt in weeks!

"Not Rob, though, she loves Fast Times, but not so much The Outsiders. She can be, uh. Pretty nervous, you know? To talk about her taste in movies. I think she might be worried you don't like Fast Times as much as she does, but I know she really wants to, uh, watch it with you. So you might have to be the one to, you know, tell her how much you like it, and maybe ask her to watch it together?"

He's getting lost in the metaphor here. That's clear enough, right? Robbie isn't going to believe him about Vickie liking boobies unless she walks up to her and tells her "I like women, go out with me," in very small words, so he really hopes he got the message across. He needs Vickie to take the wheel on this.

Luckily Vickie is nodding enthusiastically. "For sure! I can do that!" She's halfway back to the house, almost tripping over her feet, before she looks back at him sheepishly.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, that was so rude of me, I just got so excited and I wanted to-"

"Hey, no worries, that was the goal, right? This is what I was hoping for when I came out here to talk to you. She, uh..." He shouldn't. He should stick to the code, just in case, he should be careful, it's Robbie's life on the line here.

But it's also her happiness.

"She didn't believe me. About the Fast Times thing. And then we ran into you at The War Zone, and she was totally convinced I was wrong, but I knew I had to ask. Just in case. I just really want her to be happy, you know?" There. He hasn't actually said the words. If it goes sideways, they still have plausible deniability.

And then, well. There's always Plan B. He doesn't exactly want to burn Vickie's house down, but he will. For Robin, he'll do anything.

Vickie is smiling softly at him. She really is sweet, she and Bobbie are gonna be so cute together. He can't wait to tease them into oblivion.

"I'm glad she has a friend like you, Steve."

He scrubs a hand across the back of his neck, feeling weirdly self-conscious. "Yeah, well, you know. You've got a friend like me, now, too, right?"

There's that bright smile again. "Right!"

"Alright, go on. Go get your girl."

Good lord, redheads sure can blush, huh?

He waits a couple of minutes before heading back in himself, enjoying the night air. It's not quite the height of summer yet, so the evenings aren't as muggy as they'll be in a month or so. For the first time since he crawled out of that gate with Eddie lashed to his back with the remains of the rope ladder he cut to protect Dustin, he's feeling the breeze on his skin without feeling like he's wrapped in plastic, like there's a wall around him, keeping from being part of the world. He wants to savor it, in case it goes away again.

When he does make his way back in, he almost trips over Robin, who's grabbing what should probably be her last drink. At least it's just a beer this time, if it was more of that awful concoction from earlier he'd probably take it away from her, pouting be damned. They could have flambéed Vecna with that shit, nobody should be putting it in their bodies.

Her face lights up when she notices him, and she flings herself into his arms.

"Oof, shit, Buckley, doing ok there? You having fun?"

"Sooooo much fun, Stevie!" She nuzzles her face into the crook of his shoulder. Yeah, if she's this cuddly in public, this should definitely be her last drink, especially if Vickie wants to make any kind of move tonight. She's not usually this touchy outside of the really bad nightmare nights. "Missed you though. Where'd you go? My bubba disappeared."

"Aw, Bobs, I was just outside getting some air, I promise. I didn't go anywhere."

She shakes her head stubbornly, her nose dragging along his collarbone. "Noooo, you left. Not now, before. After. In the hospital. We all came back but you left. You went inside your big stupid fluffy head and you don't come out anymore. I miss you."

It's a good thing Robin's face is still hidden in his shoulder, because he can't quite keep his expression from crumpling. He hasn't meant to hurt her, he hasn't meant to hurt anyone, he swears. He's trying, he wants to come back, wants to be normal again, he just...he feels like part of him is still stuck at the bottom of Lover's Lake, watching everyone above him on the surface moving on and living life, but not able to reach them.

He holds her tighter to his chest, petting her hair. It's a mess, like when she first wakes up in the morning. Maybe she fell off the couch or something while he was outside.

"I'm sorry, Bobbin-bird. I didn't mean to go away. I'm working on it, ok? I promise," he murmurs reassurances into her hair, trying to erase the sadness he can hear in her slurred words. He's shit at talking about feelings, especially his own, but not with Robin. Never with Robin. Saying true things to Robin isn't any harder than thinking them to himself, and honestly that's basically the same thing. They pretty much only have the one brain between them.

She pulls back, studying his face closely with bleary eyes, squeezing his cheeks between her hands. "Promise?"

"I promise, Bobbie." He tries to project as much sincerity as he can muster. She's edging past tipsy, but not actually drunk yet, so she should remember this moment just fine tomorrow, and he won't have to do it again.

Who he is kidding? They're definitely having this conversation again tomorrow. Maybe he can distract her with teasing about Vickie. Where did she go, anyway?

Robin grins, apparently satisfied for now. "Good!" She smacks a kiss to his forehead and finally lets go of his face. Thank god. He loves her, more than anything in the world, but she's a goddamned sweaty drunk.

Before she can say anything else, a redheaded streak comes stumbling into the kitchen.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Vickie leans on the kitchen counter, trying to catch her breath.

Steve looks to Robin to see how she'll respond, and, oh. Well, shit. Robin is...frozen, apparently. She's very obviously focused on Vickie, which is good, because otherwise Steve would be having trouble with flashing back to Nancy's thousand-yard stare in the Upside Down, or the whites of Max's eyes, but the part of her brain that lets her, you know, say and do things, appears to have shut down.

Looks like it's Steve's turn with the communal brain, lucky him. Time to step in and save this, if he can.

"Vickie! Hi, you know, I was just wondering where you ran off to? I was about to tell Robin to track you down, to talk about that movie we talked about earlier, but it looks like you found us instead!" He jams an elbow into Robin's side as subtly as he can, but she still doesn't move.

Vickie is looking between them, still breathing a little heavy. "Yeah, I went looking for you as soon as I came back in, but Gareth said-" Gareth! That was it! "-you went to the bathroom, and did you know there are six bathrooms in this house? Who needs that many bathrooms? I think Angela only has one sibling, why would anyone need six bathrooms for four people? That's so crazy! Anyway, I'm glad I found you, Robin. I'm, uh, getting a little overwhelmed with all the people out here, so I was hoping you might want to find a room that's maybe a little quieter, so we can talk a bit? Just the two of us?" Damn, this girl's got guts. Steve likes her.

Robin continues to stand in front of the fridge like the world's prettiest scarecrow. Come on, babygirl, you can do this! He elbows her again.

"Vickie! Hi! Steve, Vickie's here! Hi!" Steve and Vickie both startle a little because, wow, ok, volume, Buckley, damn. Still. Progress.

"Sure is, babe. Tell you what, why don't I take this-" he plucks the unopened beer out of her slack hand, "-and you and Vickie can go sit down somewhere quiet and talk about movies, huh?"

Robin blinks at him owlishly. "Movies?"

He's about to make another veiled reference to the boobies conversation when Vickie blows all of her air out of her nose and stomps one foot like that one girl in the Chocolate Factory movie who reminds him of his cousin Shauna.

"I'm sorry, I can't take it! I just spent ten minutes outside talking to Steve in ridiculous codes and another ten minutes running up and down the stairs in this insane house and I'm exhausted. I can't take the metaphors anymore. Sorry, Steve, no offense."

"Hey, none taken. It's pretty exhausting, you're not wrong. I just had to be safe."

She shakes her head. "No, totally, I completely understand. I appreciate it. I'm just secret coded-out tonight, you know? Robin, do you want to go upstairs with me and talk? I have something to ask you and I'd really rather do it in private, I don't really want any of these people listening, you know?" She waves her hand at the open doorway to the living room, which is still packed with people.

Robbie's head has been bouncing back and forth between them like she's watching a tennis match, eyes wide.

"Huh? Me? What?"

Oh geez. She's shorting out.

"Bobbie, look at me." She meets his eye, and he can see the nerves threatening to overwhelm her. "Trust me?"

She nods. "Uh huh. 'Course, bubba."

Well that warms him right up, but it's not about him right now. "Good. Go with Vickie, babe. It'll be good, I promise." He hopes he can promise that, at least. He's pretty sure he can. And if it goes bad, they always have Plan B.

Vickie holds out a hand, and Robin stares at her like it might bite her, before taking it gingerly. Both girls immediately burst into bright red blushes, and under any other circumstance he would laugh at them, but this is a delicate moment. They need him to be cool. He can be cool. He can be so goddamn cool.

Vickie leads Robin out of the room and towards the stairs, both of them still blushing like crazy and refusing to meet each other's eyes, and Steve can finally let out the breath he's been holding in a whoosh and slump back against the counter. He snags a bottle opener off the fridge- neat, it's got a magnet on it!- and pops the top on the beer he stole off Robbie.

“Well I hate to break this to you, King Steve, but she’s definitely about to steal your girl.”

Steve freezes with the bottle at his lips.

He sets the beer down on the counter and very carefully turns around. Munson is alone, thank fuck. This is fixable. He can deal with a single person. If it had been a crowd, or fuck, god forbid, someone like Gareth, who hates him, and might try and use this? Hurt Robbie to hurt him? Well, he's got his nailbat in the trunk, and he isn't afraid to use it, but he doesn't think Hopper would be thrilled to have to bail him out of jail.

"Whatever you think you heard, Munson, if Robbie gets hurt, it won't matter that you're one of us now. I'll finish what those bats started. I won't be happy about it, because you're a pretty cool dude and I like hanging out with you, but I'll do it for her if you make me." He makes sure his voice is low and even, and he meets Eddie's eyes head on. He wants to be very clear, this is not a joke. He will defend her if he has to.

He doesn't think he'll have to, not from Munson, but he isn't 100% sure, and he's taken enough risks with Robbie's safety tonight. He doesn't trust his luck enough to count on it working out a second time in less than an hour.

Munson's eyes go wide with shock- he clearly wasn't expecting Steve to meet him with quite that much aggression. He puts his hands up in surrender and leans back away from Steve.

Steve fights not to be distracted by the way his torso curves, graceful in a way he has no right to be with his wounds still scabbing over. Not the moment, Steve. Get it together, for fuck's sake.

"Hey, whoa, easy big guy. We're cool, man. Stand down."

There's a tense moment where they just...stand there, sizing each other up, unsure where to go from here.

Eddie tugs a lock of hair in front of his face, nibbling on it nervously. It's cuter than it has any right to be, honestly.

"I didn't- uh. Fuck, man. Please tell me I didn't just tip you off to flirting you didn't notice. It would suck so, so bad if I exposed Birdie without her knowing."

Steve takes a moment to consider this, frankly absurd, situation. He holds up a finger for Eddie to wait a minute, and checks both ways down the hallway outside before closing the kitchen door and leaning back against it to keep it shut. At least now it'll definitely just be the two of them, which is one more than should be having this conversation, but he doesn't see a way out of it, so this will have to do.

When he turns back to Eddie, he looks even more nervous than before.

"I'm perfectly aware of the flirting, considering I'm the one who went out of my way to set them up tonight. You didn't out anyone, and I should have been the one to make sure the door was closed before I got them in a room together, so it's not your fault for finding out. You understand you can't say anything to anyone, ever, though, right?"

Because he's apparently doomed to be accosted with eyebrow raises from everyone around him anytime he says anything at all until he dies, Eddie's are lost somewhere under his bangs. He looks...impressed. Huh, that's kind of nice. Steve resists the urge to preen.

"'Course, man, I'm well-versed in the code of silence." Something in his face softens, and Steve can feel the sincerity in his next words. "Birdie's a friend, and Finnegan seems like a real sweetie, I wouldn't ever want to hurt them like that. Cross my heart." He does, in fact, draw a cross on his chest with one long, ringed finger. What a dork, holy shit. Steve wants to put that finger in his mouth.

"I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be so cool with something like that. In general, but also especially since you and Buckley are, y'know." He waves his hand expansively around his head, the kitchen lights glinting off his rings, and Steve has to fight the urge to bat at it like a cat with a laser pointer. Jesus Christ, Harrington, focus. The man just called you a homophobe, get your shit together.

He decides, very magnanimously, he thinks, to ignore the homophobe bit, honing in on the rest. "Me and her are...what, exactly?"

"I mean, aren't you guys like, a thing?" Oh Jesus fuck. Not again.

"Ugh, no, where the hell do people keep getting that? Robin and I are just friends, ok? Platonic soulmates. Capital P!" He throws his hands in the air in frustration.

"-capital P," Eddie choruses with him, "I know, I know, I just, shit, man, I dunno, I figured you were..."

"Were what?"

"...Lying? Shit, that sounds worse out loud, sorry! I just mean, because, you know, Henderson keeps saying-"

"Oh, well if Henderson says it, it must be true," Steve rolls his eyes.

"Well fuck me for trusting the kid who calls you his best friend, I guess!"

They glare at each other across the room for a minute, before the ridiculousness of this moment catches up to Steve and he drops his chin to his chest, huffing a laugh.

Eddie looks confused, and still nervous, and a little incredulous. Also a lot adorable, but that doesn't feel relevant. "Ok, I'm so lost, man. I just came in here for a beer, and this has been an emotional rollercoaster I was unprepared for."

Yeah, that about sums it up.

He hasn't spent much time with Eddie since he woke up, spending those weeks juggling babysitting duties and his own injuries and helping with the relief effort and sitting vigil at Max's side. He popped in on Eddie when he was in the building for Max, but the Munson room always had someone in it- Wayne, or Dustin, or Mike, or one of the Corroded Coffin guys- and Steve always felt a bit like an intruder. So he hasn't had a chance to feel out the suspicions he formed during that surreal week when everything was still in the process of exploding, and honestly he's been feeling a little too distant to work up the energy to bother. Robin's bugged him about it once or twice since March, but he shrugged her off each time and she hasn't brought it up in a while.

Ah, what the hell. It's already been such a weird night, and Steve is honestly feeling better than he has in weeks, and he wants to ride this high wherever it'll take him.

Emotional rollercoaster, huh? Well, Steve can make that worse.

At least Eddie hasn't seemed homophobic, kind of the opposite, actually. That's a good sign if Steve's ever seen one.

He pushes off the door, stalking toward Eddie with intent and digging deep inside himself for whatever remains of the person he used to be, who could drop panties with a single look. Eddie's eyes go very round, and he stumbles back a little into the counter.

"You know, Munson, I've had a question I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. Haven't found a good moment."

"Oh yeah?" Eddie's voice comes out in what can only be called a squeak, and Steve feels powerful. That rush of confidence he hasn't felt since BN (Before Nancy) fills his chest, and he can feel his grin turn sharp. "Ho- uh." Eddie clears his throat. "How long's a while?"

Steve purses his lips, relishing the way Eddie's eyes drop down like he can't help it and his cheeks flush, and pretends to consider the question. "Oh, since Skull Rock, probably."

"O-oh? That's. Um. That is a long time." He's still staring at Steve's lips. Good. "Well, shoot, Stevie-boy. Ask away."

Steve lets his smile spread across his face slowly, keeping Eddie's eyes where he wants them. Yeah, he's still got it. Like riding a bike.

"Do you wear this bandana on purpose, or is it just a fashion statement?"

Eddie's eyes snap up to meet his own, shocked.

"Wh-what? Bandana? I. Um. What?"

"Are you flagging, Eddie?" Steve doesn't back up, toe to toe with Eddie as he reaches out and tugs lightly on the hanky trailing out of his back pocket, as always.

He may not have had the energy to talk to Eddie about it yet, but his curiosity did get the better of him after the "earthquakes," and he did dig out that zine where he originally learned about the code. He knows what a black hanky in the back left pocket means now. It's...a little daunting, but not a turn-off. Not at all. Kind of the other thing.

God he hopes Eddie knows what it means.

Eddie seems floored by this line of questioning. He's bright red and sputtering, his mouth opening and closing without saying anything. Steve lets himself stare. This'll go however it goes, but he's not ashamed. He's no more embarrassed to want Eddie than he would be to want a girl, which is to say, not at all.

"I- you- what? What? You- you know what flagging is?" He hisses the end of the sentence in a harsh whisper, so much like Robin did when he first told her about his crush that he can't stop himself from giggling.

Wrong move, since Eddie clearly takes this personally, and his expression shutters closed. Whoops.

"Hey, hey, no no no, none of that, hey. I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you, I swear."

"Right, sure, I believe that, considering there's nothing goddamn else to laugh at in this kitchen, Harrington." Eddie is glaring at the floor, arms crossed defensively across his chest.

Alright, maybe he gets what Vickie was saying earlier. Fuck the codes, fuck the metaphors. He can take Eddie in a fight if he has to. He's a simple guy, ok? He just wants to use his goddamn words.

Robin would be so proud.

He goes slowly, telegraphing every move so Eddie can stop him if he wants. He reaches for his hands where they're tucked into his elbows, gently easing them out until they're clasped between them.

He takes the opportunity to finally feel those rings he's fantasized about, seeing if they're as cool as they look. They aren't, they're warm from Eddie's skin. He spins one of them around Eddie's finger with his thumb, transfixed.

Eddie still looks tense, but now instead of hurt and distrust on his face, he looks like Steve hit in him in the head with something heavy. His pretty eyes are so big, blown completely black as he stares at their joined hands.

"I'm sorry I laughed. I was remembering the first time I told Robin I had a crush on you," Eddie's head snaps up again, "and she sounded exactly like you did just now, with that angry whisper voice. It made me laugh, that you guys are so alike. It makes sense, I guess. She's my favorite person, so of course I'd like you, when you're like. Not the same, I guess, but kinda a similar flavor of weird. She says I have a thing for nerds, y'know?"

Eddie blinks at him for a minute, apparently speechless. Some nerves start to creep back in, since the brief miscommunication scare burned out most of that white hot King Steve confidence in his chest. They must show on his face, because Eddie visibly shakes himself and finally opens his mouth.

"You have a crush on me?"

"Yeah, man, since the Upside Down, pretty much. The first time."

"Don't call me man when you're telling me you have a crush on me!"

Steve has to laugh at the comically offended look on Eddie's face. "Sorry. Do you prefer Eds? Baby? Big Boy?"

Eddie is so red Steve is surprised his face isn't steaming. He yanks one hand out of Steve's grip to smack him in the chest. Steve laughs and lets him, dropping their still-joined hands down between them and tangling their fingers.

"You're a fucking dick, Stevie. Can't believe I like you."

Steve grins at him, big and hopeful. "Yeah? You like me, Munson?"

Eddie shoves at him with a groan, but doesn't let go of his hand. "Pretty sure everyone in this town likes you, King Steve. It's like a rite of passage, or something."

Steve feels like he could walk on air, he isn't even going to get fussy about the King Steve thing. They can talk about that later. Eddie likes him! Eddie has a crush on him! He could fight a demogorgon with his bare hands right now, that's how powerful he feels.

Eddie gets quiet after a second, tugging a curl in front of his mouth again. Seems like a nervous tick, maybe. Steve notes that for later. He may not be much of a reader, but he's going to learn to read Eddie Munson like a book if it's the last thing he does.

"I thought, um. I kinda...hn. Ugh."

"Gonna need more than that, baby, I'm not fluent in Munson yet." That glow in his chest picks up a little again at the way Eddie flushes so pink and pretty at the petname.

"I thought you were straight." It comes out all in a rush, the words mumbled and slurred together through his hair.

Finally, it's Steve's turn to raise an eyebrow. Take that, universe! "You meet a lot of straight guys who know what the Hanky Code is?"

Eddie shakes his head in wonderment. "Still can't believe The Steve Harrington knows what flagging is."

He's about to reply when the kitchen door flies open with a bang that sends the boys leaping backwards away from each other. Steve finds himself braced between Eddie and the door, brandishing the bottle opener from the fridge in front of him like a knife. He doesn't even remember grabbing it.

Robin is standing in the doorway, eyes wild and hair frizzing out around her head in a way she would despise if she was sober and not obviously preoccupied with something else.

"Jesus, Robs, you about gave me a heart attack, what the hell?"

"Sorry bubba, not important right now!"

He rolls his eyes. Of course not. Just his trauma that could have made him stab her if he hadn't caught himself, nothing major. This girl, he swears.

"Dingus! Focus!"

"Focus on what, Bobs?"

"She wants to kiss me, Steve!"

His eyes go wide. Thank fuck the door bounced off the wall and swung back shut behind her. That's not something to shout to a party full of gossipy strangers.

Still. This is a big moment! "Bobbie! What'd I tell you, huh?" He picks her up around the middle, swinging her around while she cackles wildly and bats at his shoulders.

"Put me down, you lunatic! Steven Elizabeth, you put me down right now, or I swear I'll never speak to you again!" She's laughing too hard for him to take her seriously, though.

He does take pity on her and set her back on her feet, stealing one more tight hug. He's so happy for her he could scream. This night has turned out better than he could have imagined.

"Tell me everything! What happened! What did she say? What did you say? How was the kiss?"

"Well we didn't actually kiss yet, exactly."

"Wait, then how do you know she wants to kiss you?"

"She told me! She said she thinks I'm really pretty and funny and smart and she's like you! She likes both, and she says her and Dan are done, like for real for real all the way done, and she held my hand, Steve! And she wants to go on a date! And she said she wanted to kiss me!"

"That's awesome! I'm so happy for you, Bobs. What did you say when she said she wanted to kiss you?"

"I came down to tell you about it, obviously."

Oh, Bobbie, what the fuck. "Robin James Buckley. Do not tell me that a pretty girl tried to kiss you and you ran away and left her upstairs!"

The situation finally seems to register, and Robbie's hands go flailing around her face the way they do when she's overwhelmed.

"Oh no! Steve! Oh no!"

"Go, you insane person! Go back upstairs right now and kiss her this minute! Go!"

He physically herds her to the door, at which point she finally notices Eddie, who has been standing in the corner where Steve shoved him behind him when the door crashed open, watching them like he's wishing he had popcorn.

Fuck. Steve was so excited for Robbie he totally forgot he was here.

Robin's body goes rigid and all the color drains out of her face all at once.

Steve grabs her by the shoulders. "Hey, Bobbin, eyes on me, ok? Eyes on me." She finally drags her eyes away from where she's been staring at Eddie in horror, and Steve's heart breaks at the fear on her face. "It's ok, Bobbie, I swear to god it's ok. I was right, alright? I was right about him, we were talking before you came in. He's safe, I swear. We're safe, Bobbie, I promise I'll keep you safe."

"I promise I won't say a word, Birdie. Friends of Dorothy gotta stick together, right?" Eddie pipes up from the corner, stepping forward slowly and carefully, hands out front like he's approaching a skittish animal.

"You're- you're like u- me?" Oh, he loves her so much. Still protecting him, just in case.

"It's ok Bobs, I told him about me. I was about to get a kiss of my own before you came in, I think, actually."

Eddie jumps on the opportunity to cut the tension, ever the showman. Steve likes him so goddamn much. He grins impishly at Steve, that wide pretty mouth stretching out until those dimples Steve can't wait to kiss appear on his cheeks.

"Oh, you were, were you? Pretty presumptuous, Stevie-boy. Who says I kiss on the first date? Maybe I'm not that kind of boy."

"Oh, wow, ok, this is gonna be a lot to deal with, huh? Alright, I'm glad I'm not getting hate-crimed, and I'm glad you're finally doing something about your big gay crush, Dingus, but if you'll excuse me, I have a girl to kiss, and also I want to be far away from," she waves a hand between them, "whatever this is. Good luck boys, don't kiss in unlocked rooms! Vickie says she can give me a ride home, so I'll call you in the morning, bubba. Love you bye!"

She's out of the room like a shot, hopefully back up to Vickie, who he hopes is prepared to get used to this kind of thing. There are so many things to love about Robin Buckley, and honestly, this is one of them, but he can see why she might be an acquired taste. He thinks anyone who doesn't acquire that taste is a moron and not worth knowing, but he can see how those people might exist.

"Love you too, Robs!" he calls down the hallway, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it. It's not a lock, but as long as he doesn't move, it'll do. And given that Eddie appears to have found his confidence and is leaning over him, bracing his arms on either side of Steve's head, he doesn't think he'll have to move any time soon.

Unless someone needs the kitchen, but they've been doing just fine so far, so they can burn that bridge when they come to it, or whatever people say.

He reaches down to toy with Eddie's belt loops, tugging him close and grinning up at him through his eyelashes, privately thrilled at the novelty of being shorter than his partner for once. Granted, he's slumped down the door a little, but still. It's nice. He can see why girls like it.

Eddie comes closer easily, resting their foreheads together. He reaches down to fiddle with a lock of Steve's hair and Steve feels like leaning into it like a cat getting its ears rubbed.

Lot of cat feelings tonight. He's not sure what to do with that.

"So.”

“So.”

“Steven Elizabeth, huh?"

Steve can't help but laugh, the tension broken once more. "Yeah, Rob's idea. We switched. Steven Elizabeth and Robin James. So we always have a piece of each other."

"Jesus H Christ, you guys are fucking adorable. This shit is why everyone thinks you're dating, though, you know that, right?"

"Ugh, yeah, I know. I don't actually mind, I mean, I should be so lucky, you know? And she's like. My person. My most important person. And we're probably gonna get married someday just so we can be each other's next of kin, and because it's not like she could marry whoever she ends up with anyway, or me if I end up with a guy, so it's like, why not, you know? I'd be building my life around her anyway, might as well make it legal.

"It's mostly just annoying when our friends don't believe us, because like, we're honest with you guys. Maybe not all of it, like Robbie isn't ready to be out and that's fine and she shouldn't have to be, but it kinda sucks that, like, Dustin thinks I would lie to him, you know? Because I wouldn't. Not about something real. Not when it matters. But he doesn't believe me, and that just. I dunno, man."

"It hurts."

"Yeah."

"I get that. You've been through a lot for these kids, you've put yourself on the line for them, you've given up a lot for them, and when they don't believe you about something like this, it feels like they're saying they don't trust you. Of course that hurts."

Steve swallows down the tears that want to fall. Now isn't the time for vulnerability like that, not in a stranger's crowded house. Still.

"How'd you do that?"

"Do what, sweetheart?" Oh, sweetheart does something to him. If this is how Eddie felt when he called him baby earlier, the blush makes more sense.

"Figure out exactly what I'm trying to say, and make it make sense. Usually only Robbie can do that."

"I dunno, maybe Birdie and me share a brain. Or maybe you and I just make sense to each other."

Steve flattens a palm against Eddie's chest, feeling the soothing thump beneath his hand. He did that. He put his hands on Eddie's chest and his mouth on Eddie's mouth and broke Eddie's ribs and didn't stop until that rhythm started up again. And now Eddie's here, and Eddie's heart is still beating, and Eddie hears him when he talks, and Eddie is looking at his lips again, and Steve suddenly can't go another second without kissing him.

He trails his hand up Eddie's chest, over his neck, savoring the way his breath hitches and the pulse under his palm speeds up. He keeps going, pushing his fingers into that thick riot of curls, already making mental notes of the products he's going to buy for Eddie because Jesus Christ, they're dry.

He tugs, and again, Eddie comes easy. It's not an earth-shattering kiss. There's no tongue, and their noses are a little smushed, and the angle is a little off, and he's kissed enough people that he can tell Eddie probably hasn't, but none of that matters.

He told Robin, back in that field, that he was holding off feelings he knew he would have for Eddie when all was said and done. He knows now he was right, and he's done holding them off. Has been done for a while, maybe.

He doesn't know where this is going, or what Eddie wants, or how they'll manage being two guys in a town like Hawkins, or what their friends will think. If they'll even tell their friends. What he does know is that he wants to find out the answers to all of those, and he wants to find them out with Eddie, and he wants to keep kissing Eddie, and also that he can't keep kissing Eddie here.

He pulls back, pecking that dimple finally, partly to reassure Eddie that he isn't running away and partly because he's wanted to for weeks, and pulls the kitchen door open, checking that the coast is clear before grabbing Eddie's hand and dragging him towards the front door.

"Where we going, Stevie?"

"You drove here, right?"

"Sure did. You want a ride somewhere? I thought you drove Birdie."

"I did, but you've got your van, don't you? Your van with doors that lock and a big open back seat?"

Eddie's eyes go wide, and he flails a little, just like Robin. It makes Steve smile.

"Yep! Yes, yeah, hell yeah, I do have my van, my van with those things, let's go! Chop chop, time's a-wasting! Your chariot awaits!" And he's off, doing that dorky little run for the driveway.

Steve grins, and puts his hands in his pockets, and follows his boy out into the night.

[lucystark12]

how will, mike, and vecna's arcs chase eachother around the show

to begin

byler: the early ages (predating the show and season 1)

our very first real interaction between mike and will speaks directly to my theory of the genius of the friends to lovers trope. the very first time we see them talk it's will confessing something to mike that neither of their other two friends wanted to. it's different. there is immediately something different about will's relationship with mike compared to the other kids. call this will's honesty, but the one thing us bylers have going for us is that will is very much canonically in love with mike. this is them showing us clearly that SOMETHING. IS. DIFFERENT. i would not go so far as to say that will is in love with mike or vice versa this far back because they're literally twelve, however, that 'something different' that's seemingly been there for a very long time is important and needs to be noted. we don't know what's different, they don't know what's different, but they don't feel the same way towards each other as they do towards their other friends. this much is obvious

(flickergate mentioned!! 🔥🗣🗣🔥🔥)

now we've got our search for will. mike is totally champoining it. of course dustin and lucas are incredibly invested, but mike is our leader here. once again, this could just speak to his personality, but i think not! mike's level of investment in finding will safely causes him to act against the caring and nurturing nature of his personality which we see in the way he lashes out at el when the body is found.

to be totally real with you, i don't remember nearly as much about the first season as i do the other three and also believe that since will is missing for most of it there isn't quite as much to go off of. so now i'm going to move on to season two.

byler: season 2

once again in season two we see mike being the one who's most protective and most conscious of will and his wellbeing. i will reiterate- for both of them at this point i think this still feels like they are just two people with a deep connection. as they are literally thirteen, i don't think either of them understand the depths of what love really means.

but uh oh... here comes the paradigm shift for will...

we ALL know what i'm talking about here.

in this scene, mike is able to break will out of the weird trance thing with his monolouge, which for anybody who has forgotten, reads as such:

"Do you remember the first day that we met? It was…It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends and… I just felt so alone and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and… I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done."

initially, i thought this monologue was just super sweet, but the implications actually run a lot deeper than this scene just being some kind of masked love confession. what are those implications?

vecna has will in a trance during this scene. vecna is the same monster who you only have a chance of surviving if something is tying you to the real world.

we see this with max and music, with el and the mike monologue.

the difference is, neither of those work because neither thing is strong enough.

what is strong enough to break will out of a vecna trance though is mike's honest, hearfelt words.

vecna is a monster who feeds on people who fundamentally don't have enough love in their life. this is why he chooses will in the first place. henry creel was a deeply troubled child who didn't have any kind of love in his life, leaving him susceptible to become vecna when taken to the upside down. will on the other hand comes from an abusive home and is bullied in school. this seems like the perfect target for somebody feeding off people lacking that kind of support in their lives. only vecna gets it wrong, because will does have that unwavering, devoted, love in his life. that is mike.

mike who refuses to give up on him even after his body is found. mike who waits with him in the hospital for days. mike who was always the first to make sure he's okay.

the hospital scene opens will's eyes to this, which is why i'm calling this the unitalized "oh" in your "oh... oh" moment. this is will realizing there's something deeper. this is his first inclination.

byler: season 3

throughout the course of early season 3 or during the gap between seasons is when i like to believe will was starting to realize what that "something deeper" for mike was. although i think objectively season four is the most important byler season to date, i think season three is when it really solidifies itself into the brains of our characters that they are in fact in love with each other.

the first scene i want to focus on when discussing season three is the infamous rain fight, in which i believe will has already realized his feelings for mike.

in my eyes, mike wasn't actively trying to be like "it's not my fault that you're gay"- i do think that he meant to say "it's not my fault you don't like girls yet" but that with the erasure of that word, the initial meaning and what mike meant to say left with it. they both know how his words sound and the implication of what they must mean.

i mean, look at will's face. this isn't even the best screenshot of it, and you can still tell how the words struck a deeper meaning in him.

his initial reaction after the fight to go and tear down castle byers also helps us a lot with the narrative and even relates back to vecna.

jonothan and will build castle byers as a save haven to escape from lonnie and his abuse. lonnie's abuse is what directly relates will to henry and his cause. by tearing down castle byers, will is actively destroying his safe haven as a way to cope with the person who showed him the vecna-defeating love not loving him the same way anymore. even though mike apologizes, they don't have a real concrete conclusion that solidifies for will that mike cares about him in the same way that he once did. they do have something though-

the moving scene. mike's paradigm shift.

when mike and el talk in this scene their conversation begins with el confronting mike with the thing that scares him- the falsehood of his love for her. mike spends the beginning of this scene playing coy, trying his hardest not to play into what she's saying until she has to be upfront about it. when they kiss, mike thinks- something is off. i can't reciprocate her feelings.

you can see it when his eyes are open, you can hear it when he pretends not to know what shes talking about. mike is uncomfortable with the notion of being in a relationship with el because he knows it's not something he will ever realistically be able to have. not really.

then in his conversation with will, we get more resolution to their fight from earlier, a real and honest conversation. i can't remember which happens first, but both make sense.

if the el conversation happens first:

mike talking to will shows his comfort level with will over el and how inevitably he will always be able to be himself with him.

if the conversation with el happens first, this goofy little face is his "oh...oh" moment in a "this feels different in a good way sense.

if the will conversation with el happens first:

mike's hostility towards el shows how negatively he sees her after being with somebody that he truly does love

if the conversation with will happens first, this is the "oh... oh" moment.

either way, this is when mike realizes that he has feelings for will that are entirely different than the platonic ones he feels for el. this is him realizing that there's a difference between strong platonic adoration and real romantic love.

to further back myself up on this being the moment™️ for him, this is him immediately after.

this is the face of a boy who has just had his entire world rattled, the face of somebody who has just realized that he is in fact gay and in love with his best friend, and that he will never feel the same way for el (or any other girl) that he does for will.

boom, mike drop (haha)

byler: between season 3 and 4

since vecna is watching at all times, he's starting to pick up on this and realize that the all encompassing love that will needs to break free from vecna's grasps is becoming more imminent by the second. so naturally he starts to fuck with things.

first and foremost, mike not being able to call, therefore severing ties between him and will, was orchestrated by vecna. vecna can manipulate time, making it entirely feasible that will never got mike's calls to begin with.

now i bring u... lettergate!!

even though churchgate is my favorite gate, i fully believe that lettergate is real. it is absolutely canon to me. it makes perfect sense. the only other way for the two of them to communicate is via letters, and since will has been waiting for mike to reach out to him, the power is in mike's hands. however, like the writer he is, mike is really shitty at writing letters, so one never gets sent, leading to further miscommunication and cause for vecna to make will believe that he isn't loved.

byler: season 4

the first byler scene we talk about from season four is almost an extension of the in between season stuff. this scene is the airport scene, where mike's fully fledged feelings for will prevent him from hugging him back out of fear of it making things awkward, leading will to believe, once again, that mike doesn't care about him.

similarly to how mike and will make up and then get interfered with by vecna at the end of season four and the gap before season four, the two fight and then make up the next morning, making for relatively smooth sailing between the two for the rest of the roadtrip. until mike decides to confide in will, that is.

mike's intention in that scene was to get out that he thinks his charade is failing without actually outright stating that he thinks his beard isn't convincing enough. he remarks about how he doesn't think el will need him anymore just like how he needs el to cover up who he truly is.

so then will shows him the painting. confesses his love for him behind a mask, leading mike to believe that there is still a way his relationship with el could work out. he doesn't want it to, he needs it to. we know this already.

but here vecna comes, this time inadvertently. in order to thwart vecna's plans, mike is forced to give this false love confession to el (which, by the way, doesn't work). making vecna at fault for will's newfound feelings of less love from mike. will is convinced that mike is far gone, which is why vecna is able to slip into will's head once again.

vecna is back and is ready to use will for his grander purpose of making him into a mini vecna after orchestrating the greatest use of the miscommunication trope of all time. he has successfully convinced will that mike doesn't love him, which will make him an easy pawn.

so where does this leave us?

with the end all be all answer to what will happen come season five. will will need to be broken out of vecna's possession to save the world from power too strong for el to dream of taking on- double vecnas. we've seen it with will before, and we will see it again, mike's love for him will be the only thing capable of breaking him free from vecna. mike's character arc of self loathing and insecurity will culminate with him realizing how he feels about will, will's character arc of exploited insecurity will end with him getting the one thing he wants, and vecna, in his last moments, will be made to believe in the central theme of the show, that love triumphs hate.

[pretty-batty]

Crybaby

Eddie x Judy (ofc) Part 11 of Eldath's Priestess 5754 Words

Warnings- SMUT (18+), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, non-penitrative sex, tiddie fucking, monster fucking, mentions of past gay escapades, mentions of past threesome (hinted to be Billy), MEDICAL MENTIONS: needles, overdosing, drugs, intracardial injections. Mentions of major character death. Now on ao3. Thanks to @anakinkshamer, my beloved beta reader and editor. Notes: not canon compliant, also mungrove as a pairing isn't fully addressed, but hinted at.

Summary- As Vecna's power grows, Judy is faced with an impossible choice.

Samwise was bigger than the rest of the demo-bats, waddling at Eddie’s heels like a medium-sized dog. Eddie could only take walks in the dark since he returned home. The yellow of his eyes reflected any light that would shine near him, so sticking to the deep woods would avoid that possibility. Although, the predatory gaze of his personal horde of demo-bats also kept people far from the trees.

This was Judy’s first time joining him, clinging to his arm to keep herself from falling. She understood why there was a “no flashlights” rule, but with the moon covered by pitch black canopy of trees it was impossible to see. No doubt Eddie’s supernatural abilities gave him night-vision, but Judy’s occasional thump “ow” proved that it wasn’t shared.

“You want me to carry you?” Eddie finally asked.

“No, it’s fine.” A lie. It took another scuff of her shoe against a surfaced tree root for her to relent. “Yeah…yeah I’d like that…”

He crouched down, Judy’s hand tracing along his shoulders, feeling around blindly before mounting his back. His arms formed stirrups for her legs. “Your loyal steed, my lady.”

“Thank you, my precious paladin.”

“Paladin,” he finally rose to his full height, Judy wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“Sorry, I thought you’d prefer dungeon master.” She said, pressing a kiss at the crown of his head.

“If I can stay your paladin, that’s all I need. Edward the Stalwart and Princess Nim Hellarad, reunited at last.” He smiled, switching up his gate to provide extra bounce, Samwise chittering in surprise.

Judy rested her chin on his shoulder. “You think they’ll get a happy ending?”

“I’ll make sure of it, buttercup.”

A screeching rang from beyond the trees, accompanied by a torrent of flapping wings. She expected the trees to stir with Eddie’s own creatures as the larger horde passed over them. But they remained, chittering and snapping at each other, none taking wing.

“What’s going on?”

Eddie rolled his head slightly, groaning. “Vecna’s calling.”

“Like the frenzy?”

“Not that bad. It controls the creatures, not me. But my little buddies wait until I give them permission.” He explained. “So, Dustin tried to explain it to me. It’s like those circuits they had us build in school. There are two lightbulbs. The mindflayer is the battery. Vecna is one switch for one bulb. I control the other. If I’m awake, conscious, the connection is possible, if I’m unconscious, then no connection.”

“I’m not even going to try to get you to elaborate.”

“Basically, if I’m asleep, so are the bats. And all I do is take naps so…”

Judy pressed a kiss against the cuff of his ear. “Among other things.”

“My favorite things…” He purred, “speaking of…you wanna go home?”

“Yes please.”

Samwise stayed outside when Eddie continued to carry Judy inside, still on his back. Wayne was at the plant, Margie in bed. Still, they tamped down their giggles as much as they could. Judy reaching back to lock the back door, her hand returned to Eddie’s shoulder, tapping it twice. “Down, please.”

“Nope. This floor is no good, Princess Hellarad. I must find a suitable place for you.” He announced. Swiftly, with new purpose, he moved to the couch, letting her plop down on the cushions. He turned, gazing at her in the moonlight. “No.”

“Eddie come on.” Before she could finish he lifted her bridal style, carrying her up the stairs and into Wayne’s empty room, plopping her on the bed for a moment.

He stood, panting. His face began to glisten with sweat. One more deep breath. “Nope.”

His body hunched over, yanking her over his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her waist, Judy’s arms pressed against the center of his back. She shook her head with a smile, “Goddamnit.”

Eddie opened her bedroom door with one hand, tossing her on her bed. He closed the door, leaning his body against it casually then turning the lock. His eyebrows rising at the click. Judy was halfway done with taking off her pants, shoes already yanked off with the laces still tied. “Eager, are we?” He asked.

“To get my clothes off, yes.” She smiled.

He laughed, slowly quieting as she continued to shimmy her jeans off her legs, panties as well, chucking them to the side. Her thicket of dark hair glistening in the moonlight as it peeked through the branches of the tree outside her window. Eddie’s hand ran down his inner thigh, moving to stroke himself over his zipper. His claws scraped against the denim, eyes soon latching completely to the sight of Judy’s breasts falling from her unlined, wireless sleeping bra.

“You okay, big fella?” She asked.

His top teeth slid across his bottom lip, pulling the bottom stitch taught, releasing a calming breath. “Your tiddies are always so pretty.”

“You have something in mind?” She purred, lifting her remaining clothes over her head, letting them drop to the floor. She laid back on her pillows. Bathing in his gaze as it poured over her glistening skin like honey. She already knew what he wanted, and she’d gladly oblige. Her hands reached down to the meeting of her thighs, her arms pushing her breasts together. Her right fingers stroked along her clit, the left teasing her entrance.

Her breasts were poised perfectly, caged by her biceps, hypnotizing Eddie with each breath she took. He stripped himself bare, climbing from the foot of the bed, over her body. Before he could straddle her waist, cock poised at the bottom of her sternum, Judy raised her left hand from between her legs, running her slick coated fingers down his cock. Just wet enough to slide in with no resistance.

Eddie's cock slid between her breasts, his tip poking from the top, dusky pink against her moonlit skin. Her left hand settled on his hip, her right continued to pleasure herself. After one pass through her soft tits, his tip began to leak. He hissed through his teeth, leaning his head back to reveal his neck to Judy, her eyes latching on his bobbing Adam’s apple.

Her nails gripped his hip just below his scar as he continued to thrust, smiling at the sight of his two clawed hands reaching down pushing her breasts together himself, rolling his dark thumbs over he nipples. Her top teeth dragged over her lip as their gazes met once again.

Her arms relaxed, no longer needing to hold anything in place. She simply focused on her own pleasure, strumming her aching bud. Any sort of orgasm would do at this point. Her other hand migrated up Eddie's torso, running her thumb over his nipple. The friction set him alight, thrusting quicker and shallower. Each time she looked down, she could see his leaking tip, glistening and dripping with need between her breasts.

She gave his nipple a slight roll with her fingers. Eddie's lips parted in a higher pitched moan. But he kept going, closing his mouth with an “mmm” before closing his eyes, Judy continuing the action a few more times. That sound he made was enough, a wave a pleasure spread through Judy's body, leaving her with that gentle buzz beneath her skin.

She pressed her head into the pillow, exposing her long neck. Eddie's thrusts became more erratic. The sight of her, exposed and used, covered in him and nothing else, must have been the last straw. Before he could ask her to stick her tongue out to catch it, his cum spurted from his tip and up her neck. His mouth opened with another cry as more emptied from him. Judy quickly tilted her face down, lips parting and tongue stretched to accept what he had left. He managed a few drops for her before he let go of her breasts, leaving his spent and aching cock bare.

Judy withdrew her tongue back into her mouth, swallowing his spend as he watched, her right hand finally released from under Eddie’s thigh. A combination of his sweat on her forearm and her own juices on her fingers were muted by her aching wrist, wiping her hand and arm on her sheets before bringing it up and rubbing it with her left hand. Eddie reached down with a “here”, taking her wrist in his fingers and massaging it. “Haven’t fingered someone in a while, you’re out of practice.” He smiled.

“I mean…if you’re offering, I can always play with what you have.”

Eddie let out a laugh, “not my thing.”

“Right, Mister Stone Top.” She added, pausing for a second as Eddie fished tissues out of the box on her bedside table. There was a tightness in her chest, nervous about intruding, before letting it go as she asked. “Did you ever try it, before you got with me?”

He gazed at her, gathering his spend from her neck, wiping it away. His expression softened, “yeah…not a fan. It hurt and I didn’t like how it made me feel…like…emotionally.” Eddie threw the tissues away, gathering more as he moved down to the valley between her breasts, now parted to their respective sides. The soft tissues left her skin dry. He continued rambling, “Honestly, didn’t like the head part either. I mean getting head from a dude, great. They go in and like get it done, man. But like…giving head. Depending on the size, it would feel invasive. I would listen to these guys talking about loving big cocks and how they felt in their mouths, and I was like ‘I prefer it not to hit the back of my throat, thanks.’ Just a sensible four is as big as I need.” Eddie tossed the other tissues away, then paused. “You never asked me about that before.”

“You never asked me about my escapades either. Thought it would be…invasive to ask you.” she explained, sitting up and pulling her knees so her chest. She didn’t know why she felt so self-conscious. “Maybe I was scared that if we talked about it, I’d tell you about what I did, and you might get…weird about it.”

“Me? Get weird about that? I think you have forgotten who you’re with, baby. And what we’ve done together.”

Judy’s face felt flush. “Or that I might feel…jealous…of the people you were with.” She continued, “but it’s weird…because I don’t feel jealous. I feel…”

Eddie’s mischievous smile emerged, his nose pushing past her knees and into her face, “turned on.” Judy looked away, lips tight in embarrassment. He let out his signature chuckle, “baby, the image of you going down on another girl has gotten me through many a night.”

“Really?”

“Oh, fuck yeah. But when I got with you, and when we did that thing with whatshisname…I realized I didn’t like sharing you.”

“I didn’t like sharing you either. And you didn’t even fuck him.”

Eddie pressed his forehead against hers, bumping their noses together. “So, whatever we did before, it’s fine. Nothing to be ashamed of. We can use it as spank bank material for each other. I’ll think about you being three fingers deep in a cheerleader, and you can think about me fucking jocks in the ass.”

Judy let out a wheeze before reeling back and cackling, quickly covering her own mouth, making sure not disturb anyone else in the house. Eddie smiled, pressing a kiss on her nose. “Only! If I have your permission. You already have mine.”

She nodded with a regal air, “Of course. You may jack off to my lesbo escapades.”

Eddie hopped off the bed, his softened cock bounced in the air before he got on his knees, bringing his fists down in a pump of victory, releasing a voiceless “YES!”

Judy continued to stifle her giggles, as did Eddie. His eyes followed up her bedside to her legs, the little hairs almost twinkling like rhinestones. She hadn’t shaved in a bit, but her comfort level with Eddie made it so that she didn’t need to fret.

He rose to his feet, climbing over top of Judy again as she lowered her legs. He rested his ear against her sternum, bracketed by her soft breasts. Her skin smelled like him, and a little bit of her too. Her heart’s gentle rhythm playing beneath his stitched-up cheek. “I can’t believe you’re mine, buttercup.”

Judy’s chest ached at his sweetness, soothed by a slight kiss from the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Her long fingers ran through his curls, nails softly scratching at his scalp. Eddie, like the large beast he was, let out a purr.

She smiled, “I always was, baby.”

As Eddie finally drifted off to sleep, the horde of deformed bats in the woods grew silent as well. The night was finally still.

-------------------------------------------

Maybe telling Judy their plan was a bad idea. That’s what Judy thought, at least. She could feel the sweat form on the back of her neck as Dustin continued to explain how Rick was the only one who could supply the “sedatives or whatever”. Her face grew hot again, eyes fixed to the cabin floor.

She had no place to argue. These kids were all gifted. Strategic in their planning. But feeling Rick’s eyes on her made the feeling of helplessness worse. Judy finally spoke, interrupting the meeting of the young minds. “You understand that an overdose that size can kill him? We’re just gonna breeze past that. There is a fine line. And we don’t have the equipment that could keep him alive.”

“Under my watch, he’ll be just fine. I’ll make sure of it.” Rick said.

She stood up from her spot on the couch, throwing off the balance of the room as everyone else remained seated. “You? You’ll take care of it? I wouldn’t trust you to water my aunt’s azaleas.”

“You can’t blame me.”

“I can blame you for everything if I want to. You got Joe hooked on heroin, persuaded him not to go to rehab before it got bad. He’s dead. You had Eddie selling the harder shit while you were locked up to keep your product moving, had him selling ketamine, the ketamine that Cunningham wanted, and it ended up with her dead in Eddie’s home and Eddie falsely accused of her murder. If you hadn’t persuaded him to do that, he would be fine, he would be living with me far the fuck away from here.” She reached her limit, “So no, Richard, you won’t take care of it. Because I can’t stand the idea of losing Eddie aga-” She shut her mouth, clenching her teeth.

Dustin stood up, walking himself between her and Rick, his hands up to her in submission. “Okay, that’s fine. You…could do it. Right. You got that training.”

Judy’s eyes stung, realizing she hadn’t blinked the entire time she was ripping Rick apart. She closed her eyes, a rogue tear leaking from the corner of her eye. “Have you talked to Eddie about this?”

“It was his idea.” Dustin insisted.

Thum. It had been years since she felt that. The hallow drum within her chest and the mallet striking it, shaking off the cobwebs. She returned to her spot on the couch, Steve to her right, the arm rest on her left, the door behind her.

Thum.

All she had to do was get up and leave.

Just go. Get up. Get back up.

Steve’s hand moved, resting on her arm. It was softer than she expected, warm. “I’d trust ‘em.”

Her voice came out several decibels lower, “Rick or Eddie?”

“Both.”

The meeting continued the plan being very similar to the one from months back. Separate, go in through different points, weaken him, and send in El for the kill.

Judy finally spoke again, “are we sure it’s just El he wants?”

“What do you mean?” Asked Mike, a slight scoff in his voice, “that’s all he’s been saying.”

“Well,” she continued, “from what I heard, it’s Will too, and Max. And it was the three teens who died in spring. People who were face to face with the Vecna or the mindflayer.”

“When did Vecna see Chrissy in person?”

Judy felt her skin prickle, realizing watching the pieces emerge into a single image. “In 1976, a flu swept through Hawkins. The sickest kids had febrile seizures and went blind. The local bio lab made a treatment. The doctor in charge of it, Doctor Brenner…brought his son.”

“One…” El whispered.

She nodded, “Some of the children who received the treatment were Chrissy Cunningham, Fred Benson, Patrick McKinney, Barb Holland, Marty Miller, Vicky Blake…and me.” Her last admission was quietest, hanging in the air. “There are others besides me and Vicky that are alive. No one is within twenty miles of Hawkins, except me.”

“So why are you still here?” Robin asked. There was something about her tone, or the ‘still’ that she added that pinched at her skin.

Judy bit back, “Because my boyfriend is here, and now that I know some of you are willing to kill him, again, I’m definitely not leaving.” She knew she was a little sensitive, a nerve had been exposed when Rick arrived. But her bitchiness was surprising to even herself. “Sorry, that was really mean. Maybe it’s the anxiety or something…but all of this,” her hand moved in a circle to her right, “isn’t helping.”

Her stomach started to gurgle, indigestion, again. She reached into her purse, fishing out her Rolaids, unwrapping a disk and popping it in her mouth. As she chewed, her hand cupped her face, rubbing her nose on her own skin in a hypnotic pattern. Their voices turned into a rumble in the back of her mind, rising and falling with intensity.

“Who was Joe?” The voice carried softly over the others.

Judy looked to her right, where Steve once was Max sat. Her ginger braids over her shoulders. She answered, “He was my older brother. Died thanksgiving of eighty-four.”

“I lost my older brother too, well stepbrother.” Max explained.

Judy placed her hand over Max’s, giving a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry to hear that. Not something you can get over.”

“His name was Billy. You might have met him. He was an asshole.”

Judy’s gray eyes widened for a moment, grateful that Max could not see her expression. She knew Billy very well…too well…the way his lips pressed against her skin as it spilled over her leather bralette, how his curls looked in Eddie’s fist. She blinked hard to clear her mind.

“But he was your asshole.” she added, shaking her head with a slight laugh. “I know it.”

Max smiled at that, soft, haunted. It dropped. “He was killed right in front of me. This flesh creature shoved its tendril through his chest, punched a hole right through. I can still smell it sometimes.”

“I wish there was something I can give you to make it easier.” Judy admitted, “but there isn’t. You’ll always think of him, and it’ll always hurt. Just each time you do, try to dig deep and find the good memories. Anything to drown out the last thing you saw.” Her mind wandered to Joe’s face, lids half-closed, color seeping away. She shook her head, blinking again. “Sorry about the unsolicited advice.”

“It’s okay.” Max said, “did you know him?”

She took in a breath, letting it out. A little bit of truth was good enough, perhaps his music selection, “yeah. Scorpions, Ratt, Poison. His regular bands. He was nicer than most of my customers, but I think it was to score the eventual discount.”

“Judy!”

Her gaze moved with the nod of her head. The cluster required her attention. Rick had ducked out before she could see him. They had relocated to the kitchen, a map sprawled out on the dining table. She approached. The huddle parted, Robin quickly caught Judy by the arm. “Hey, I just wanted to check on you.” She took a beat, gathering her thoughts before opening her mouth and “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to come off as mean sometimes I just have those tone problem at least my parents say that I do and I can’t really tell when it happens until it hurts somebody.”

Judy managed a smile, taking both Robin’s arms, “hey, it’s okay. I’m in a place where I can’t…” she searched her mouth for the words, finding none. Just managing a, “ya know?”

Robin nodded, “yeah, definitely.”

“But I appreciate that you’d check on me.” She gave Robin’s elbows a soft squeeze before parting, “I gotta go see what curly wants, before he gets mad at me.”

“Keeping him waiting is never good.” Steve added.

Approaching Dustin, Judy found herself approaching a quartet of young men. Shoulders hunched over the map, murmuring amongst themselves. “So, what do you need?”

“You and Rick need to cover Eddie, the best placement is your house.” Will said.

Dustin continued, “Far enough from a gate that if something goes wrong, it stalls Vecna from being able to regain his bat horde to his location.”

“There is a big chance that this will kill him, you understand that? For all we know, Vecna is what’s keeping him alive.” Judy chewed on her bottom lip, “so either the overdose kills him”

Mike concluded. “And Vecna loses control of that horde permanently.”

“Or Eddie survives the drugs, Vecna dies…and Eddie dies.” Judy finished, “God you guys are really dead set on killing him.”

“We don’t know if it’ll kill him. His wounds have healed. You might be able to restart his heart with a defibrillator.” Lucas introjected.

“That’s not how it works. Defibs only reset an abnormal heartrate.” She explained, “It’s not like tv. You’d have to give him epinephrine, either intravenously or intracardially, all the while doing continuous chest compressions. And I’m not trained to put in a line. Hopefully, in that time, Rick would have called EMS. God knows I can’t bring myself to trust that man.”

“You’ll have to.”

The words spat like hot grease, her lip curling in disgust. “I’ll have to talk to him about this.” She meant Eddie. Her Eddie, who somehow managed to assist in concocting this plot that would most certainly end with his death. Judy was beginning to think he wanted to kill himself. Not knowing that Eddie, in fact, had limited time anyway.

His “not yet” had turned into “not ever” as he pushed the inevitable discussion of his death further away. Robbing Judy of solid ground, until she was blindsided by this eventual execution in 36 hours.

By “talk to him about it”, Judy originally meant scream at him about it until she had an aneurism. But when she got home to him, his sad puppy eyes, his guilt-ridden expression. She could only melt into his arms and sob. The two landing on the entryway floor.

“I don’t want you to die.” She managed choke out, another deep sob wracked her body. “Please, Eddie. Just tell me you don’t want to do this.”

Eddie’s chin rested atop her head. “I don’t want to do this, baby.” He ran his cheek along her hair. She had managed to fold herself into the smallest shape possible, curling into his lap. “He’ll kill me, regardless.” Judy let out another wail, muffled by Eddie’s t-shirt. “I’m so sorry, Judy. Wish I had told you.” His lips parted in her hair, at first to press a kiss, but only to let out a cry of his own. His chest shook against her cheek. His speech became clenched and difficult. “I don’t wanna die, babe.” He hiccupped, “But I w-will.” He sucked in a breath. “Jst wanna do something right.” His voice ran dry, managing quiet whimpers of “I’m so sorry, Judy.”

Wayne and Margie were sitting on the back steps, each with a glass of whiskey in their hands. While Judy had been told of the plan from the Scooby Gang, Eddie had told Wayne and Margie. Their faces now haggard and pale, carrying the heavy burden of the incoming death of another nephew, another son. Samwise, like the dutiful companion it was, stayed at their feet, purring in an attempt to comfort them, only seeming to unnerve them instead.

Within the next day and a half, Judy and Eddie didn’t leave the house, hardly leaving the bedroom. If they did, it was together. Attached at the hip, or both hips, arms around each other. As if they were teenagers again, finally together after almost a decade of avoiding their feelings. But the reason was different this time. In counting down the hours, neither one wanted to miss a moment. Judy could never get sick of Eddie. And Eddie, riddled with terror and guilt, just wanted his girl close. To smell her, feel her, to open his eyes and see her.

“My princess” “my angel” “my girl”, anything he could call her other than her name would pour from his lips. As for her name, he practically breathed it. Wrapped around her, within her, anything he could do.

While they spent their last moments together, Margie and Wayne made their plans to evacuate, at their children’s behest. Wayne was the more reluctant of the two. But after many tears and pleas, Margie was in the beetle driving to stay with a friend in Indianapolis. Wayne, on the other hand, was much harder to sway.

“You needed me, and I wasn’t there.” The older man insisted, “I can’t live with myself again if I failed you a second time.”

“You didn’t fail me, pop. But if you die in this…” Eddie took in a deep breath, “I need you to be here for Judy when it’s done. And me…if I magically survive. Please, just this once, listen to me.” He reached out, the first time he had separated himself from Judy in hours and brought Wayne into a hug. “Please, I need you to get out of here.”

Wayne’s arms slowly wrapped around his nephew, holding him as close as he could. His eyes shimmered with tears before finally relenting, “alright.” He gave Eddie one last squeeze, “you stink, son.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, just…clean yourself up before you do your thing. Don’t want you runnin’ around lookin’ like no one cares about you.” Finally, they separated, Wayne giving his nephew one last kiss on his forehead, ruffling his hair. No doubt something he used to do when Eddie was younger. They said their goodbyes before Wayne got in his car and slowly rolled out of the driveway. He lingered in front of the house for a moment, before raising his hand in one last wave, driving east and out of Hawkins.

6 Hours remained.

Eddie and Judy rarely showered together. Unless they were willing to exert significant effort neither of them could get properly clean. This was their last chance to try again. They got in the shower, bare chest to chest, rotating together in fourths to get properly clean.

“This is so stupid.” Judy laughed.

“Listen, babe, I don’t know what you want from me.” Half of Eddie’s mane was under the water, the other half still white with suds. “This was your plan.”

Judy was in the same situation, a direct mirror of Eddie, water down half her curls, the other sudsy and smelling of oranges. They continued their dance, taking a hour for a normal shower. Taking as long as they needed. Drying each other off gently, peppering each other with kisses when they could.

Attempting to make six hours feel like an eternity. And to their effort, it did. They were cuddled on the couch together when there was a knock at the door. Early afternoon. It was time.

Having Rick inside her home again already set Judy’s teeth on edge. There was only so many times she could stand him patting Eddie on the back, insisting on how happy he was that Eddie was alive.

“I’m not used to this superhero shit, man. You know that.” He reiterated, laughing to himself, “but if it means ridding myself of my stash and starting over in a more legitimate product, I’d call it a win.” Rick paused at the silence, “What? It’s a joke! God, can’t tell jokes anymore with you kids. Always so serious.”

“Garage, by the way. I don’t want that acrid smell in my house.” Judy managed to say.

“No problem, boss.” He gave her a casual salute, gathering his supplies once more and leaving out the back door.

Eddie approached Judy, his claws running down her arms to cradle her from behind. His nose pressed against her ear. “Hey, it’ll be okay. I’ll be alright.”

“No, I’m supposed to be the one doing the reassuring.” She turned in his arms, bringing her hands to stroke his face, trailing her shaking fingers over the crags of his maw. “I just…”

He caressed her wrist, pressing his lips against her skin.

“I don’t want you to die. I can’t do that again. I can’t…” Her voice stopped, hiccupping into a panicked gasp. “Oh God.”

“It’s okay, Judy baby. If anything happens,”

“No.”

“Yes, you need to listen to me.” His hands grasped her by the sides of her face, forcing her to meet his yellowed gaze. “If anything happens, it’s not your fault. It was never your fault. I love you more than…” He shook his head, no words could express it. “It was always supposed to end like this.”

Judy’s eyes bubbled over with tears, completely obscuring her view. Her back teeth ached from the clenching, holding back any wail that wished to escape. “Please, Eddie.” She whimpered.

“You’re mine, buttercup. You always will be.” He brought her face to his, pressing his lips to hers. She gave way, accepting his kiss, his tongue, his reassuring smile. His hands finally released her cheeks and gripped any inch of her curves he could reach. Holding her as close as he possibly could, and adding another inch with each breath, her sobs finally quieted, dancing across her tongue to him. The more he kissed her, the more he could hide his sobs. Each gasp for air was simply that, a gasp. Every draw of her lips soothing his terror, and the taste of her tongue brought him bliss.

He finally spoke. “Or” they finally parted, “I’ll be perfectly fine, everything will go well, you’ll revive me, and we’ll move to Pennsyltucky,” another quick kiss on her nose, “and raise angora rabbits.”

Judy finally wiped her tears away, finally able to see Eddie clearly. His face was red and wet, a testament to his own sorrow. “Perfect.” She whispered.

“Misses and Mister Sondheim.”

“Still wanting my name, huh?” Judy asked, her face found its way to his. Her hooked nose to his cheek.

“Well, I’m not keeping this one.”

The walkie-talkie crackled awake, Robin’s voice rising above the static. “Bat-Daddy, what’s the status?”

“You gotta say over.”

“Over.”

“Bat-Daddy?” mouthed Judy.

Eddie wiggled his eyebrows, “you know it, crybaby.”

“Wait…. wait am I crybaby? Eddie do they call me crybaby?”’

He shrugged.

“Crybaby are you there? Over.” Dustin.

Her top lip twitched for a moment, snatching the walkie from the table and answering. “No crybaby here, but there are two bat parents. You may call me bat-mother, thank you.”

There was a pause before Dustin added, “You gotta say over. Over.”

“Over.”

“Okay, cool. What is your status bat…mother?”

Judy gave a definite nod, “Thank you. Asshole is cooking up what we need. He’ll get us when he’s ready. Then I’ll reach you during bedtime…over.”

“Let’s get you in a k-hole, big fella.” Rick said with a smile, poking his head around the storm door.

Eddie took Judy’s hand, pressing her knuckles to his lips. Then he made his way to the garage, Judy trailing behind.

“Shirt off, big guy. Judy, can you find his entry point? Below fourth rib.”

The two were surprised on his forward nature.

“You said you have emt training?” Rick continued.

“No…just first aid, who told you emt?”

Rick waved off the question, fixing a cap over the epinephrine shot. “Can you do an intracardial injection?”

“I know how, but I’ve never done it before.”

“Okay, cool.” He affixed the shot in the hard leather case, followed by the sound of zippers and clinks of metal. “Here.” Rick’s arms wrapped around her waist, the buckle of the fanny pack clicking into place. “So we don’t lose it. Now,” his attention shifted to a shirtless Eddie, finally getting to see his scars, “fuck bro they weren’t kidding. Uh…belly up on the floor.”

Judy watched Eddie follow the direction. She followed suit, her fingers probing his chest until she found the correct position. The sharpie in hand, she marked it with a heavy circle. “Like those tests say, fill the bubble heavy and dark.” Her hand shook as it drew the marker away, capping it.

“It’s gonna be okay, baby.” Eddie whispered.

She smiled, pursing her lips to blow air on to the mark.

“No babe…over a bit.”

“I’m not blowing on your nipple, you nasty boy.”

Eddie raised his brows again, biting his bottom lip. “Suit yourself.”

“I’ll literally do anything you want when this is over, and you live.” She let out another stream of air, moving her aim for one last puff, gracing over his dusky pink nipple and winking at him as it stiffened.

“You two done? As much as I dig the love, very cool, I do need to knock this boy out before he turns into Carrie or something.” Rick offered Eddie a little cup of pills, rattling off the concoction he had created, comprising of downers and a paralytic.

“Hearing a white guy say ‘dig’ will always be weird.” Judy muttered, watching Eddie sit up and take the cup from his hand. She turned away from both of them before Eddie’s free hand touched hers.

“I love you, buttercup.”

She pressed her lips into a line, swallowing back a sob. “Love you too.” One last squeeze of his hand before he let go, knocking back the pills, following it with a glass of watered-down vodka. Gently, Rick and Judy guided him to the back wall.

“My paladin.” She watched as the medication started to take effect, Eddie’s eyes slowly dulling, lids fluttering closed. Judy rose to her feet, taking the walkie from the table. “Bat-mother to cave, bat-daddy is down. Over.”

It's the homestretch now children. Thank you my friends for reading! See ya next weekend! Ps: don't worry mungrove babes, I got a fic for you in a future. Tag List: @loserboysandlithium @userchai @secretdryrose

[familyvideowithsteve]

d*ying on the inside - Steve Harrington x fem!reader

This material may not be copied, reproduced, displayed, modified. This is my work, do not steal it, do not republish it.

summary:  Steve's grief has been on the same stage for months : denial. He just can't do it. Living without her is just impossible.

warning: /NSFW/ dead!fem!reader, use of she/her pronouns, no use of Y/n, use of strong alcohol, talk about death, grief, tears (a lot), blood (a lot), very small indications of past sexual intercourse (NO smut!), grave, graphic and lethal injuries, pure hurt and trauma (what is comfort? what is fluff? what is happiness?) (minors, do not interact, i'm not responsible for the content you consume)

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used, no physical description of the reader so anyone can identify)

word count: 2.3k

a/n: I had to repost this because Tumblr likes to fuck with me and flag the things I write even though it had all the community label.

The light of the day was a godsend, it announced warmth, light, life.

On days like those Steve would try to enjoy them as much as he could, even if he had his job at Family Video, he would probably arrange an impromptu date with his girlfriend.

A picnic on the hills of Hawkins, where, at this time of the year, was blossoming with flowers, the sun set low and late. Birds chirping on the edge of the forest. 

He could almost hear her laughter as he was lying in his bed, facing the night. Cold, dark, unwelcoming. 

Nights had become a nightmare, quite literally and metaphorically. 

An opened door to nightmares, waking in tears, sweat and out of breath. Or it was the cold embrace of insomnia, lulling him awake to see the short hours of the night. The sunrise peeking through his curtains.

When his bed felt uncomfortable he would throw a cardigan around his shoulders and sit by his pool, watching as the night transformed into the day, the sky first taking a purple colour then moving into pink, bits of orange, finally blue.

It seemed peaceful, and it kinda was, sometimes, but mostly, it was a river of unstoppable thoughts, and voices. And it happened a lot more than he would like to admit.

He didn't get nightmares until the Soviets, but it didn't last long, when Vecna/Henry/One came around, the atrocities they saw, the loss they experienced, it began to be too much. 

"You look lonely," her voice said, he closed his eyes at the sensation of her presence. It almost brought tears to its tired features.

"Without you, I am," he opened his eyes to turn his head towards the sound of her voice. 

He had an oversized hoodie on, the hood lazily resting behind his neck, red and sleepless eyes, exhaustion written on his face. 

Lied on a sun lounger by his pool, wrapped in a thin and fuzzy blanket. His house was deadly silent as he was alone, as always.

She was imitating his position on the sun lounger, her eyes looking so deeply into his tired ones. A soft smile on her face.

There was a comfortable silence, as they looked at eachother, Steve let his mouth speak before thinking, he was way too tired for that anyway.

"I've missed you. A crazy lot." 

“I know. But you know I had to do it, we’ve been through this already.” 

“Yeah, I know, but in the most desperate time... like right now… I still wish you hadn’t.” 

Her eyes moved from his to something near and she winced, he followed her gaze and realised she had seen his glass of whiskey sitting by a footrest he used as a coffee table and he grimaced. The ice was almost completely melted, its remaining clinking softly against the edge of the glass. 

“I haven’t seen you with a glass of whiskey since senior year, three years ago.” 

Escaping from his blanket, bending on the side he reached for his glass, two small pieces of ice remained on the surface, it looked like an iceberg ripped apart. 

Since Vecna, the invasion in Hawkins, memories from that night were the source of his nightmares and his unfinished grief. Some nights finished in a few glasses of his father’s favourite bottle of whiskey, it seemed to either appease or fuel his demons. It was a solution, a very poor one at that, but the only one that gave him comfort. 

“It's just a couple glasses here and there," his voice was so low he didn't even know if he could be heard but she did.

"Whiskey is your sad drink. Just like beer is your party drink. Steve.." 

He took another sip from his glass, lying back on the sun lounger, holding his glass with only two fingers, he closed his eyes as he savoured the burning taste of the alcohol on his tongue.

"You're not really here, so.. I don't see why you care," his tone became harsher as he drank, he had opened his eyes to take a better look at her face. 

"What makes you so certain I'm not really here ? We live in a crazy world." 

Offended by her question, he took yet again another sip of his drink, he furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes fixated on the pool in front of them. 

"Because your coffin is resting in Hawkins' cemetery six feet underground," he started, not looking at her, but he continued, "and like you said, this crazy world killed you. This is some trick, hallucination, I don't know, something my brain has made up because I miss you, and I can't believe you're dead." 

"You just said it. You must believe it somehow."

"No. Saying it doesn't mean I believe it. I know it because I saw it happen before my eyes, but I can't wrap my head around it because it's you. And it's not right for you to be dead." 

He paused, his hair falling in front of his eyes, his chest rising and falling a bit quickly as he talked rapidly. Nervously. His eyes searching in front of him a reason to be nervous, agitated. His brown irises fell upon her. 

"It's not fair and it's not normal, and-... Jesus Christ it's hell without you here." 

It felt like two orbs were piercing through his skull as she looked at him, all ears for him.

"I don't get to see you smile, laugh, sleep, sunbathe, I can't see the stars in your eyes anymore, I can't hear your lame jokes, I can't hear your laugh, I can't hear the sound of your voice. I can't touch you, whether it's getting to hug you, feel your touch, or even just intimacy with you. I can't pleasure you anymore, hear you moan my name when you were on the edge, I can't feel the goosebumps when you were close, or even just kiss your skin. Taste you. Feel your warmth in bed. We can't do anything we had planned because you're not here anymore. And it's like living in hell," his voice broke more and more as he kept ranting on, until his watery eyes couldn't hold on the tears anymore and he started sobbing. 

Shaky breaths left Steve's mouth as his breathing became erratic, his hands in his hair, some handful of hair falling in front his eyes.

She wasn't sure if he would accept her touch, so she preferred staying on her lounger. She knew Steve would never be violent, but it felt out of place to impose herself in such a way.

She waited for him to calm down slowly, the silence comfortable as his tired eyes looked at the sky changing colors, it was rising, deep purple to a mix of lilac, orange and pink.

He let out another shaky breath, closing his eyes to inhale deeply, trying to calm his heart beating crazily in his ribcage.

When he was calmer and comfortable enough to speak, he turned his head, crossed his legs against his chest and his arms crossed, elbows against his knees, his eyes towards her. He cleared his throat. 

"The most horrific thing, apart from your absence and how difficult it is to live with it, is how it happened. And how graphic it was," his voice was soft.

She felt his eyes on her so she turned her face towards him, mimicking his position on the lounger she rested her head in her crossed arms.

"It's like I can relive this moment non-stop. There was so much blood, you were choking on it, barely able to make a syllable. The smell of blood was.. suffocating, heaving. You were in pain and I couldn't do anything to save you. I couldn't stop the bleeding, couldn't get you to a gate to take you to the hospital. And I think it was when the clock rang the four chimes and the portals started opening from the gates.. you..," he paused, he could see the scene happening in his brain as he swallowed up his saliva.

He exhaled loudly, he knew his voice would be shaky, but he continued, "I wasn't fast enough to take you away with me, and the portal completely burned away your legs, your thighs.. your lower body was just.. gone. And the pain was so much worse, you were sobbing, suffocating in your own blood. I couldn't do anything." 

His voice was as a whisper, but very audibly perceptible as they were in complete silence, only the birds awaking above them could be heard.

"I just held you, sobbing, in complete despair. Telling you 'I love you' on repeat. Until eventually, I realised you weren't breathing anymore, my tears mixing in your blood as I realised, terrified, mortified, that you were dead," he paused once again, his eyes zoning on one point by his pool.

"And I wept even more, because you couldn't- can't be dead. Even if I closed your eyes myself,  even if I had to leave you there and God I absolutely hate myself for it. Robin and Nancy had to drag me away from you, because I wouldn't- couldn't move. We had a funeral, but with an empty coffin so it's not real. And I think I even feel worse because your parents don't know they buried it empty, now I understand the way Nancy felt about Barbara. It's unfair. And I'm.. exhausted from all of it. It doesn't even make sense now… to live without you I mean, it's.. bland." 

He finally zoned out of his trance, and directed his eyes towards her, where she was patiently listening to him. 

Even though he had experienced her.. 'presence' since she was gone, he hadn't been so sincere and profound with his feelings, his suffering.

"I don't remember much, except from the cold, and the taste of blood, your tears, the excruciating pain. The suffocating part, that I definitely did not forget. But I also remember the 'I love yous' . They lulled me away to the darkness. To Death." 

The scene was truly just so heart wrenching to witness. Holding her so tightly on his lap, crying his heart out, his hands on both sides of her torso to tentatively stop the bleeding. 

The particles of the Upside Down would sometimes temporarily cloud his vision, the air thick, toxic, and smelled of iron with the quantity of blood around them.

She had her eyes focused on him, remembering his own and their colour, choking on her own blood, her chest kept tightening at the lack of oxygen, the pain was in wave, each time she inhaled it felt like knives were digging deeper into her flesh, and with her lower body gone, she felt it burn, it was horrendous, and the smell was enough to make her nauseous.

Tears clouded both their visions, hot cries of salty water running down their cheeks. 

There was so much he wanted to say, but his shaky voice could only repeatedly tell her he loved her.

And she wanted to say she didn't want to die, she wanted to do so much with him, but she couldn't even breathe correctly, let alone speak. 

Then she started feeling cold, no, she realised she was cold, and exhausted. Her eyes were just shutting off on their own, everything was blurry and she tried to resist, she tried so hard. The sounds were different, she could recognise a bit of Steve's voice trying to keep her awake but she felt herself leaving.. leaving.. and then.. nothing.

When he realised she was gone his hands left her sides to capture her cheeks, trying to wake her. 

His cries were louder, gut-wrencher.

Her eyes were glazed, empty. And he kept saying her name, and he wept so much.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. 

Robin came to his level, in a delicate voice she whispered, "Steve, we have to go, we need to get back to Hawkins. I'm sorry." 

He was so exhausted, so done with all the shit that kept happening. He nodded mechanically.

He let out a shaky breath. He closed her eyes with his thumbs, leaving blood on her cheeks and her eyes. He kissed her forehead, and shortly after that he followed Robin and Nancy. Silent. Empty. 

"I don't know how I can keep going on without you," he whispered, his voice a mess as he was on the edge of tears.

She handed him her hand, inviting him near her, he looked at it then her eyes, he didn't know if he could touch her. But he wanted to feel her so bad.

Getting up from his lounger he made his way toward her's, and sat down right next to her.

She laid her legs and indicated to him to rest against her. 

"Let me hold you, Steve," that's all he needed to be convinced and lay on the lounger with her, in between her thighs as she held him. Head against her chest. Her hands in his hair.

He didn't know if he was dreaming or totally losing his mind, but he cried a few tears of happiness in a comfortable silence.

Until he woke up. Alone. Curled up on the lounger. 

A new wave of despair escalated through him, watery eyes on his whiskey brown irises. 

Running a hand through his hair he let out a shaky breath, holding back the tears as much as he could.

"I love you," he whispered, his eyes closed, letting it overflow, hoping he would feel some warmth to prove her presence, somehow. But nothing. 

"I'll always love you." 

[every-dayiwakeup]

I've got a few things to get off my chest:

🔵The next time I see anyone saying "yeah he died and apologized but it's still not enough" my response will be:

So tell Jesus that sacrifice isn't enough and neither is "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing".

Actions speak louder than words, and on top of that Billy's last words were an apology.

But I guess when you add it all up in the Catholic calculator, it means absolutely nothing.

Too much talk of change without mentioning the integral step for change, which would be getting Billy support and him leaving his abusers.

We write fanfictions where he gets to do that because canon would not give it to us, which is ultimately what fanfiction's sole purpose is.

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't think Billy is the one that needs to change here. I believe that his environment makes all the difference, and even then it sure as hell won't be easy.

There's nothing wrong with him, and I often see people overexaggerating "what he's done".

Why aren't other characters in the hot seat? Why specifically Billy? Why are any characters obligated to make up for whatever they've done?

Fiction gifts us escapism, and I've seen an uptake in people blurring the lines between the two.

I don't want Billy to change who he is, and I think it's kind of funny that to some, being in a relationship with Steve (or anyone) will "fix him". Let's not act like Steve Harrington doesn't repress his emotions. He's also like 19, and it makes no sense to me that anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone who's goal isn't to love you, but to "fix you" somehow until you're "worthy of love".

You're basically dating a therapist.

🔵Let Billy Hargrove be messy. Quite frankly other characters should be, too! He is a textbook abuse victim, and if you can't accept or bother to understand what abuse does to someone, that's a you problem.

Let characters make mistakes. Relating to Billy aside, I enjoy him because he stands alone among npc characters, and I firmly believe if not for the narrative:

not being able to handle him

trying to reduce him to a joke like damn near every other character (yes hahaha have a bunch of forty year olds creepily watch a teenager, and just for extra laughs let's make him look like a homewrecker and his groomer a feminist!)

framing said victim repeatedly as the big bad teenage "oh he's mature looking" boy (like we don't have enough of that bullshit 😒)

going directly against Dacre's Billy (pushing the whole womanizer thing for one... "happy screams" 😑)

guiding an immature audience to hating a character because he's not a main

refusing to condemn canon abusers while shitting on an abuse victim (for the love of fucking hell, if you feel the need to tell your audience who to hate and who to root for, then I guess you don't think you've done enough of a job as a writer)

... maybe just maybe viewers wouldn't hate or misunderstand Billy as much. Plus in addition to overexaggerating they also tell blatant untruths, so there's that.

I don't know about y'all, but I don't see the point in herding people to like or dislike characters. Let them come up with a conclusion on their own.

I wouldn't even give a flying fuck about what other characters in ST have done, had it not been for the general fandom demonizing one character while putting on their hypocrite hats and their bloated sense of self morality.

They act like Billy is worse than Vecna, Brenner, those bullies in season 1... They refuse to even bring up Neil, and conveniently "forget" that Billy was possessed for most of s3.

The only people I really see making excuses are Brenner and Vecna stans. Oh, and Jason, too.

I don't really care who stans who, but if we're going to keep playing this bullshit morality policing game (with fictional characters 💀), let's not act like the worst character on TV is Billy Hargrove.

Seriously, I can come up with a list of characters (Stranger Things included) who are worse.

The difference being it doesn't keep me up at night... because they're not fucking real.

[thestobingirlie]

some ppl do too much w making eddie v traditionally smart/knowledgeable or w having steve say that eddie is one of the smartest people he knows (as though steve's best friends are not robin and dustin). i have also seen ppl make steve say that eddie is the smartest person he knows which,,, okay. sure. we're all a little delusional sometimes ig. then use this as a springboard for him just not trying in school or w/e bc he doesn't care despite him clearly caring enough to repeat senior year three times instead of just getting his ged. this also works against what i find most appealing about eddie - like some ppl want him to be a bad boy played straight who is super smart and competent and i do not understand that. i like that eddie is a drug dealer that just can't graduate high school obsessed w his nerdy interests who is not cool and also not v competent outside of his specific interests, particularly in the intense survival situation he finds himself in. that's what makes eddie fun to me and it's also why any fics or aus that make him hyper successful/famous/competent/badass/etc never feel authentic to him as a character imo. they just rarely let the fact that he is a soft-hearted, nervous person at heart shine and that is what i like most about him. also ppl don't appreciate the way steddie defies expectation enough - like when it comes to dealing w the weird, scary world of the upside down you expect eddie to thrive and steve to flounder when steve is actually the borderline hypercompetent one in those situations, even at the very start. that's what makes the pairing fun and so few ppl appreciate that bc they just want to force them into overplayed archetypes.

oh it pisses me off when people try to make eddie scholarly. boy is on his third attempt of senior year. like, he’s clearly trying to pass, but he can’t. and that speaks to trouble with class more than eddie just not trying, or teachers purposely holding him back, which i’ve also seen in fics and just doesn’t really make sense to me. i feel like a drug dealer is the kinda student you would want to leave high school lmao

eddie is definitely not the smartest person steve’s knows, and that’s not a bad thing! no one has any trouble making steve out to be the biggest idiot alive, but for some reason people have a hard time making eddie seem dumb. like, i think i’ve mentioned this before but i saw one fic that said steve only passed high school because his dad paid the school or something? to try and make it seem like eddie was better in school and it’s so stupid! there’s nothing wrong with being bad at school, but so many people just can’t seem to accept that eddie is bad at school, and steve was slightly better, considering he passed the first time.

and yeah! eddie’s a pathetic loser, and i love that about him! he’s a 19/20 year old still in school, obsessed with d&d. people who take that loserness away from him ruin his character.

you would expect eddie to really find himself in a real life d&d game, become a badass, but instead he flounders. he can’t handle it. which is a fun contrast to our other geeky characters. and people that try to make eddie the saviour and steve the one that totally looks up to him, is weird. the fun of steddie is that eddie starts out expecting steve to be a douchebag, and yet he ends up as someone he wants to emulate and become. eddie finds out steve is the epitome of a hero, rather than an asshole jock. (and though i don’t doubt that eddie has traits that steve would love, he’s not gonna be really looking up to him as a genius. because that’s just not who eddie is)

(also, this is kinda irrelevant, but it made me think about kas!eddie, and how people always make him super badass and brutal, and i think it would be funny if he was just a failure at that too. like, not very good at fighting, just treats this shit like a d&d game. literally just a hinderance to vecna. not on purpose to help the others. he’s just shit at it lol)

[tartarusknight]

I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else - 2/10

Chapter 1 <-- previous chapter Chapter 2: Give me back my heart you wingless thing

Robin felt out of her mind as she sat in the passenger seat of Nancy's Station Wagon. Steve had been acting off since the Upside Down and wouldn't let her in to see what was really going on. She had theories but nothing solid. Because they'd never truly lost before.

Steve was always a good sport about things. Always moves on and pushes through whatever is thrown his way. But he also believes that everyone else is better than him. That he deserves the worst of it. He pushes through it because he thinks he deserves it. It made it easy for her to assume that Steve was thinking that it should've been him. That he should've died instead of Eddie. Or been cursed by Vecna.

And wasn't that the worst thought? She didn't want to imagine her soulmate wishing for his own end but she knew him well enough to know that's probably what he was doing. That he wasn't allowing people to take care of him because how else would he get his wish? It made her angry. It made her scared. It made her feel at a loss for what to do.

But she couldn't voice her mind. Not to the Party. Not to Dustin who was barely holding on after Eddie died in his arms. Not to Lucas or Erica because they were at Max's side in the hospital. Not to Hopper or Joyce who were busy with their own kids and the Upside Down. And definitely not to Nancy.

Robin liked Nancy. She thought the girl was badass and was happy to be at her side. But she was the same girl that broke Steve's heart. The girl who threw Steve's biggest insecurity in his face in a drunken rage. So, Robin wouldn't speak of her worries. Not because she thought Nancy was a bad person. But because as Steve's best friend, she would protect him from those who hurt him. And one thing she'd never do is give Nancy Wheeler any ammo against Steve. 

“I think we should just go pick him up,” Nancy breaks the silence. It makes Robin jump a little and she looks at her. Mike and Dustin staying quiet in the backseat.

“He wouldn't join us,” Robin says and it hurts to say. It feels like she's telling them that he doesn't care about himself. And in a way, her.

Nancy's hands are tapping on the wheel. “I know, he's stubborn and doesn't like letting people in. But he'll die if he keeps it up.” She states like it's easy to say. “He didn't even let us take him to the hospital.” Nancy's voice is annoyed and Robin can relate but she also hates the idea of backing Steve into a corner.

Robin shook as Nancy took the turn towards Steve's house. She wanted to argue. She wanted to scream. But mostly, she just wanted to make sure Steve was okay. She just held her legs to her chest tightly the entire way. Trying not to notice the claw marks on a tree by the road.

However, before they even reached Steve's house, her worry for him grew until it had her fumbling for the door handle. Before the car was even fully stopped she was stumbling onto the road, running towards the Maroon Bimmer on the side of the road. It was slammed into a tree, and windows shattered. The door was torn off and with claw marks on the side. Nancy put the car in park, "Robin!" She shouted and Robin ignored the worry, too focused on finding her best friend. 

“Steve!” Robin calls out but she doesn't get a response. Her eyes scanned the area for her dingus. Her food slid against the road, an unnatural feeling that had her falling backward. She would've hit the ground if Nancy hadn't been there to catch her. Her arms were tight around Robin, holding her steady. 

They both looked to the ground. Robin's red sneaker blackened with something Robin remembered vividly. Her hands wrapped around Eddie's arm, the blood and saliva of the bats making her hands slip and almost drop him. Steve as if knowing she'd drop Eddie, took more of the man's weight. He and Nancy moved the dead metal head to lie in the Upside Down's version of his room. As a final resting place. As a coffin. 

The black substance had been impossible to wash away and clung to her. A long-lasting reminder of Eddie's dead body. Nancy slowly lets go of Robin and bends down. As Robin pulled her foot away from the puddle, a string followed and Nancy made a low hum. “Nancy,” her voice sounds choked to her own ears. Nancy looks up at her, the worry on her face only partially hidden by the increasingly familiar investigative Nancy Wheeler look. 

But Nancy just shakes her head, her hand gestures forward and Robin looks around, trying to spot Steve or something to lead her to him. “Footprints,” Nancy finally says and Robin's eyes snap to the ground. Steve had stepped into the goo. It only shows a few steps but... they looked frantic. Like someone slipping a little as they took off running.

Before they can do anything they hear a terrifying noise. A mix of a human cry and a monstrous screech. “Car now,” Nancy orders but Robin's frozen. Waiting for something in the trees to burst out at any second. Nancy doesn't let her, pulling her backward. Robin bumps into Mike and Dustin, the two looking frightened and on edge.

Robin is practically shoved into the passenger seat and she's just frozen. Her brain working hard yet not a single thought pierces through the mess. Nancy peels away from Steve's car. Her eyes are bouncing around the road as she picks up speed. A blood-curdling roar came from the forest. So loud and jarring that Robin couldn't help but curl in on herself.

As she watches the treeline she can see something rushing through the underbrush but it is too dark to make out what it was. That didn't stop Robin's brain from making up something. A mix of the stories Steve told her and the monsters she saw firsthand. All she knew for sure was that whatever it was, it was no doubt what attacked Steve.

Robin can't even begin to understand what's going on as Nancy drives them away from it. It feels real and fake as the Bimmer disappears from view and Nancy steps on the gas even harder. The others are talking, trying to figure out what was going on but Robin can't look away from the review mirror. “Steve,” her voice breaks and she looks at Nancy. She's surprised to see tears falling down the girl's cheeks. “We- what about- about Steve?” Her voice breaks and Nancy just shakes her head.

“We can't leave him behind!” Dustin shouts and Robin can tell it's not the first time he said it from the way Nancy barely reacts to it. Robin's gaze goes back to the review mirror but there isn't any signs of monsters chasing them.

“That sounded like a Demogorgon,” Mike stated and Robin's eyes widened. Steve had told her about that monster. How it never seemed to be hurt by what they did. She had held Steve tightly. She had silently thanked everything she could think of that Steve had lived to meet her. She had also silently been grateful that she never had to deal with one of those herself. But now... 

“Oh god,” she feels like she's going to puke. The image of Steve's car spinning and smashing against the trees. Before he could even gain his barrings the door was pulled off. Screaming as he was pulled from the car. Claws tore him apart, blood and tears being shed until Steve didn't even look like Steve anymore. Too quick to even try and grab his bat from the back seat. Too fast to radio for help. Too late for Robin to protect him from it.

Nancy reached over and took one of Robin's hands, making her startle. “We have to radio the others. Tell them what we saw. But if we go back we're dead. I've only got my pistol and that hadn't stopped it the first time.” She said and Robin couldn't get out a single argument as she struggled to catch her breath.

She blocked out the way Dustin argued. She blocked out Mike's frantic words. She blocked it all out. Robin was shaking so badly she felt like she might fall out of her seat as she sat there in shock. “Robin,” Nancy snapped and from the tone, it wasn't the first time Nancy had said it. “The radio's by your feet.” She states but all Robin can focus on is the sound of the monster.

The way it echoed, growing further away but it already got a swipe at her heart. Her insides twisted with guilt. “Steve would've stopped,” her voice doesn't even sound like hers anymore. “Steve would've helped.”

As she finally looks over at Nancy she can see how much those words hurt Nancy. “The radio Robin,” Nancy says again and Robin barely manages to grab hold of it. Her hands feel almost numb.

She looks back in the mirror, there was nothing but the two boys who were truly too young for this. Not Steve. Not the monster. Nancy takes the radio from her. The hand that had been holding hers was gone. But she'd rather stare at the road behind them than close her eyes for a moment. Not when her brain was far too creative.

Robin locked eyes with Dustin. The kid looked so sick, his eyes wide and filled with tears. He was back to being silent. Only Nancy spoke. Her words clipped as she told the others what just happened. Robin wouldn't pay attention to the conversation. Not when it wouldn't let her turn back around and find her best friend. In whatever state that was.

Fret not dear heart, let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears. (The Horror and The Wild - The Amazing Devil)

Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Also on ao3 You were all interested :) @ellietheasexylibrarian @nburkhardt @artiststarme @flowers-that-sing @juleswashere3 @indiearr @remosdeerica

[buckera]

Things were a little anticlimactic, so to speak. They spent nine hours driving back to Hawkins to find that Vecna's been gone (which of course Jonathan already knew thanks to El, but he always felt a little useless, standing on the sidelines, letting a literal kid dealing with the end of the world) and that by some miracle Hopper was still alive - and with his mum, apparently.

So they came back and they stayed.

Nancy broke up with him on the fourth day and he couldn't help but feel guilty for being relieved by it. Sure, he loved Nancy, she was great, but they were just too different. She never really understood the whole having to work thing, she did it because she wanted to, because she was driven and ambitious and he admired her for it, really.

But at the end of the day, Jonathan was forced into doing things because of money and outside pressure his whole life and sometimes all he wanted to do was just... relax.

Just turn his brain off a little, lean back and talk shit or not even talk and well... Nancy was never really good at that either.

Argyle was though.

He was the most unexpected turn out of the whole California move and frankly, Jonathan was more than grateful. Because Argyle walked up to him on his first day at school and just started talking, like they knew each other since kindergarten, like they knew each other's ins and outs and not just met twenty minutes ago.

He invited him out to smoke a joint, because he "could tell that he needed it" and by god, he did.

Even months later, it never changed. Argyle could always read him like no one else, always knew when he needed company and when he needed space and when he wanted to talk and when he just wanted to sit in silence.

He was a pretty tactile guy, which was new for Jonathan. He never had a friend that would hug him for no reason other than "looked like you could use some love, brochacho", he never had a friend that would sweep his hair behind his ear just because "couldn't see your eyes and those are some real good ones you've got there, dude" and it baffled him to no end at first, but he kind of just... got used to it.

The hugs, the touches, the cuddles on the porch sofa when his mum wasn't home.

They were nice.

So now here they were, in Hawkins, moving boxes and cleaning the new house. Argyle still hasn't exactly decided what he wanted to do until college, so since he lost his job (they didn't really appriciate him just taking off in the middle of a workday without so much as a phone call for days), school was still out and as he said he had no friends back in Lenora, he just hung around.

It's a late afternoon, his mum and Hopper took the kids, shopping for kitchen supplies and they are sitting outside, enjoying the relaxing effect of some truly Grade A Purple Palm Tree Delight.

The conversation peters out at some point, leaving them just sitting turned towards each other, knees bumping, Argyle's foot playing with Jonathan's calf lazily.

And then their eyes meet and without any sign or preamble, Argyle just leans in and presses his lips against Jonathan's. It's soft and barely there, but his eyes still drop shut from the sensation.

"Hey uh Argyle?" he asks quietly, lips still brushing against each other with every word.

"Yeah?"

"Is this like some like... we're high and making out thing or is it like us starting something here?"

"Dude, you think too much. Gotta let that brain of yours relax a little." He leans in again and this time the kiss is deeper, but feels just as practiced. What's weird is that it isn't.

Maybe it's just the weed, maybe it's just how things should be. Like there's nothing more natural in the whole goddamned world than the two of them kissing each other.

And if Jonathan wants to be honest with himself, it feels like that. He never kissed a dude before, yet it doesn't even matter.

And so it starts just like how their friendship started; like it never even had a beginning or an end, just a general truth of the universe.

Easy as that.

[possumplagues]

You're Coming Home With Me (WIP)

Steve was accustomed to encountering strange things upon waking. With Vecna still out there, doing god knows what, every wake-up was accompanied by some kind of screeching from the latest creature to escape the Upside Down, or rumbling as the gates grew even more, or— or something. He was even used to waking up to people grabbing him, since Robin and Dustin tended to shake him awake for one reason or another, regardless of whether or not they had been at his house the night before. 

However, what he wasn’t used to was waking up to rough, distinctly non-human hands grabbing his shoulders, while a strange figure loomed over him, in a place that was decidedly not his bedroom. Steve bolted upright and smashed his head into the figure’s nose. 

In response, the thing growled and pushed Steve back down, staring at him with the reddest eyes Steve had ever seen. Like, those fuckers were glowing.

Which was particularly strange, seeing as creatures from the Upside Down tend to, y’know, not have any eyes. Or a… strangely human face? Wait…

“Eddie?!” Steve nearly shouted as he got a better look at the face. It was definitely the face of the metalhead, but that wasn’t possible, because the guy was dead. Dustin had watched him die. Steve had seen his corpse, covered in bloody bites and gashes inflicted by demo-bats. 

Plus its face was the only feature that resembled Eddie Munson. Or, like, even a human.

As Steve got a better look, the less convinced he was that this was Eddie. For starters, those hands grabbing his shoulders? Not hands. They were claws, vaguely in the shape of hands, connected to what looked like massive fucking wings. Kinda like a… what, wyvern? One of those dragon looking things that had wings rather than front legs. He was fairly sure Dustin had called those wyverns. And the creature had bat ears sprouting from its head, swiveling around. One of them seemed to have a tear in it. 

Plus, it was like, way too tall. Steve couldn’t see much from this angle, but normally Eddie was about his height. So, reasonably, its knees and feet should more or less line up with Steve’s at this angle but they definitely didn’t. Its knees seemed to be planted closer to Steve’s ankles, with its feet god knows where. 

Also, was that a fucking tail swishing around? Or, better yet, like three tails?!

Still, the thing seemed to calm down when Steve called him Eddie. Its growling ceased, replaced by a rumble that almost resembled purring. And… its face really did look like Eddie’s, minus the glowing red eyes. Even its hair was the same as Eddie’s, if a bit longer and messier, which would make sense, seeing as it had been… god, like a month. Eddie had died a month ago.

“Munson, if that’s you, you gotta let me know somehow man, because I’m freaking out a little,” Steve said, trying to control his breathing. If this wasn’t Eddie, he was fucked. He didn’t know where he was, couldn’t see jack shit, and had no weapons. Plus, he was already pinned down by this creature that could very well just be a random beast from the Upside Down looking for a meal.

“Ha…rn…ton…” the creature rasped, as if unused to speaking. If this was Eddie… that would make sense. He probably wouldn’t have even had someone to speak to in a month now. Who else was there to talk to in the hellscape? With only demo-creatures and fucking Vecna for company, there weren’t many good conversation partners.

“Eddie?” Steve questioned. The grip on his shoulders loosened, and he warily reached a hand up towards the creature’s face. In response it… it fucking nuzzled Steve’s hand, erupting into a full on purr. Its eyes fluttered closed, seeming content. Steve’s eyes widened in wonder.

“Holy shit,” he breathed softly, “You’re alive. You’re really alive.”

He felt a very slight nod against his hand. 

“Please, god, don’t let this be a dream, or some kind of Vecna fuckery,” Steve said, desperate. “I really don’t think I can handle this being illusory bullshit.”

The entire party was getting sick of Vecna’s mind games and illusions. Without those dirty tricks, they surely would have caught up with the fucker and killed him for good by now. Insteads, they were stuck running around in circles like chickens with their heads cut off. 

“Re…al. No… Ve…na…” Eddie struggled, picking his head up and staring down at Steve meaningfully with those big red eyes. 

“Okay. Okay, that��s good,” Steve muttered, closing his eyes for a moment as his mind tried to catch up with the situation he was in. Eddie was alive, but definitely wasn’t a human. Something had happened to him. Something had turned him into some kind of… creature. Steve could deal with that. Or, he could compartmentalize that and have Dustin and the party deal with it. They could figure out what the hell was going on. They always did. 

Now Steve just had to figure out where the hell he was. He was laying on something hard, but padded. It was slightly chilly, like he was exposed to the elements. The area was only slightly illuminated, seemingly by moonlight, but he couldn't see anything beyond Eddie. 

“Ya mind letting me up dude?” Steve asked, patting Eddie’s not-arm. The bony, solid part of the wing that connected to Eddie’s clawed hand. 

Eddie grumbled in response, but finally released his grip on Steve, sitting up fully. Steve did the same, and oh god was Eddie large. He seemed to be kneeling, but even then, he was far taller than Steve was used to. Like, a solid two heads higher. Sure, typically kneeling would give a normal human Eddie a slight height advantage over a sitting Steve, but not this much. It was intimidating as all hell. If Eddie wanted to, he could easily overpower Steve. 

Hell, he already had.

Steve scooted backwards slightly to free his leg, bumping into something. Or… was he in something that curved inwards? 

Was he in the fucking boathouse?

He stood up, squinting as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. He was absolutely in the boathouse. Hard to forget a place where a greasy metalhead tried to kill him with a broken bottle.

Of course this is where Eddie would go to hide. 

To be fair, where else was he supposed to hide in Hawkins, looking how he does now? If anyone else had seen him (except maybe Dustin), they’d immediately assume he was one of the escaped Upside Down creatures and attempt to eliminate him. Likely in the most brutal and efficient way possible.

Steve didn’t want to think about what would have happened if, god forbid, Hopper or Nancy had been the first to see Eddie as he is now.

At first glance, Eddie really does look very threatening. Steve took a moment to properly take him in without panicking,

Steve had already noticed just how tall Eddie was now. However, he hadn’t bulked out at all. In fact, he looked thinner. Bony, like he was malnourished. He was pale, and the texture of his skin looked… of. Although maybe that was just the poor lighting.

Those were also definitely wings. His “arms” were bent at strange angles, and despite them being folded, Steve could just barely see the membrane of the wing. From the looks of it, Eddie hadn’t had it easy over the last month (how could he, in that hellscape?). The small bit of wing membrane that Steve could see was tattered. He wondered if Eddie could actually fly with those.

Steve couldn’t see Eddie’s legs, but judging from what he could feel, they had more joints than normal. More bends. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to see them. He could, however, just barely make out the three curiously swishing tails behind Eddie.

They looked exactly like demo-bat tails.

“Dude, how the hell did you manage to get me here without waking me up?” Steve said, wandering around the boathouse. He hadn’t been here long while Eddie was hiding out, but he definitely had some very uh. Distinct memories. Namely the whole “being held against the wall with a broken bottle to his throat” event.

He’d tried not to dwell on that memory. For a variety of reasons. Mainly, thinking about it had reminded him of just how dead Eddie was. He had only known the man for a short time, but having yet another person taken from him by this mess, no matter how short they’d known each other, had fucking wrecked Steve.

However, there was another reason as well… Whenever he thought too hard about it, about Eddie, he found himself flushed and absolutely didn’t want to question why. Especially when the man had been very much dead. Him being alive now certainly complicated Steve’s thoughts about, well, everything.

Compartmentalize, Steve, he thought to himself. Deal with all of that later.

He looked back to Eddie for an answer, only to see him curled up in the boat, wings covering everything except his face and tails. He really looked like a strange cat. A very, very strange cat.

He seemed to have given up on words, instead just letting out an odd chirping noise in response. He was gesturing with his tails for Steve to lay back down in the boat, though he wasn’t sure how Eddie expected him to do that now that the metalhead was occupying essentially the entire thing. Instead, Steve walked to the boat and sat against it. 

What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t leave Eddie alone. He didn’t trust that the metalhead would still be there when he returned. However, Eddie couldn’t really leave the boathouse. Steve wasn’t sure how he managed to snatch him up without being noticed, but it seemed like tempting fate to try it twice. He didn’t have his walkie talkie with him, having not expected to literally be snatched out of his bed while he was sleeping, so he couldn’t contact anyone. 

He tilted his head back into the boat and let out a sigh. 

(The first chapter of this should be out on AO3 by the end of the week)

(Please let me know if you noticed any spelling/grammar errors)

AO3 LINK

[spicybylerpolls]

Can anyone give an idea of why sexual thoughts about these two are objectively bad? 

Ok, first think of the kind of creepy perv who it would scare you to know they are thinking sexually about you. Is it because they look or seem dirty and gross? What does that actually mean? 

Secondly, are they a predator because of it? Are they acting like a predator? Or are they simply thinking private thoughts and you have no idea they’re even doing it other than a hunch? 

And lastly, is the idea of deviant sexuality something that grosses you out, period? 

These three are sounding suspiciously like the subtext of stranger things’ plot. Monsters and prejudice vs an apparently deviant predator. 

The main issue against this blog and the practises it endorses seems to be that people don’t want to KNOW. You can keep your deviancy to yourself. Which is an entirely different branch of the issue than whether it is actually ok to be ‘deviant’ or not. 

If you’re not hurting anyone, what makes sexual fantasy objectively bad? Ok, so maybe it’s the very idea of byler fans being a bit lewd about these two teens. Perhaps it seems like these fans are bad people at heart because they give in to those desires of enjoying byler in a sexual context. Although again that screams to me of the id and the shadow self and the dark psyche - what Vecna represents in s4. Considering that healthy sex/fantasy is enjoyable, pleasurable, fun, why is this considered more perverted than other taboo topics like violence? 

Is it because taking pleasure from someone (without their knowledge, as when fantasising about someone) is considered worse than doing something unenjoyable / painful / bad / violent? Of course sex can be used as violence, but no one here is doing that. Yet still, some bylers think that fantasy is a violation of something akin to committing physical violence. 

I don’t know the answers, I’m just spitballing. It’s just interesting to me, perhaps because I have a background in visual art and in theatre. I’ve got experience discussing and considering works that examine pretty much any taboo you can imagine. For example, there’s a play from the POV of a convicted paedophile in prison. There’s also a play called Sylvia and Sheep or something (can’t remember) but it’s about bestiality. It basically asks why our society considers bestiality to be morally wrong, when only fifty years ago, homosexuality was considered to be just as heinous. The answer seems obvious: animals can't speak and so can't give consent. But the play makes interesting and surprising counter-arguments.

These plays are both controversial works. Not to say I agree with the ideas in practise, but as an artist, I cannot disagree with the examination of those ideas. 

So perhaps people here think that byler can't give consent, because they're too young to know better, or because you're thinking about them without their consent. But you can see how both of these arguments don't hold up considering they are fictional characters, and we are imagining them together, not self-inserting into the narrative. Also, you don't consent to think something lol.

Also to bring this around to the performers in case anyone was still claiming that Finn or noah themselves might be uncomfortable with sexual content for byler, Finn has said his favourite genre of literature is transgressive fiction, which includes authors like Charles Bukowski, who are rather dark and twisted. He said to the audience at the con (who were mainly minors) that these books are not suitable for them lol. 

Also, I COULD use this last as more vague evidence that Finn may indeed be queer but I’m not going to go there 

very interesting points! much to think about.

[massivefuckinlesbian]

Lost Pt. 1

Summary: You don’t know what to do now that Max was in a coma.  What does one do when the love of their life won’t wake up?  

Christmas had passed.  Another holiday you had put so much time and effort into decorating for, hoping, praying that maybe Max would wake up.  Maybe she would sense, or god forbid hear something and she would wake up.  She would wake up and everything would be okay again.  You would have your Max again.  That was all you wanted.  

The holiday had passed though.  Now 3 days after you had given up.  People always said taking down the decorations could be depressing but they never took them down like this.  They hever had to take the presents bought and shove them in the corner of the room because the person they had bought then for never woke up.  They hever had to take the lights off a fake Christmas tree because they couldn’t bring a real one into the hospital.  They never had to hope that maybe this was the time, and then have to come to terms that it didn’t happen.

You had already cried yourself dry.  Over the past few months, you felt as though you had nothing left to cry.  There was no use in crying either.  If crying was going to wake her up it would have happened months ago.  The doctors said she might never wake up.  They said sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do, the person just doesn’t come back.  That wasn’t even a possibility for you.

You had fought for so long.  Fought for her to know your feelings.  Fought to be together  Fought to stay alive.  You were not going to lose her before you got the rest of forever with her.  You tried reminding her that.  Every chance you got you told her that she had promised that if the both of you made it out alive then you would spend the rest of your lives together.  It didn’t work though.  She was still there.  Not moving except for the steady up and down of her chest.

You would do anything to hear the sound of her voice again.  Anything just to hear her tell you that she loved you.  The others told you that you would hear it again.  Steve kept trying to tell you to stay strong.  He would say to stay strong and then go and cry in the hallway.  He never knew you saw him.  You never let him know you saw him.  He needed time to cry over everything.  

You tried not to think about what had happened.  Tried to forget what you had lost in the past few months.  Tried to forget the situation that had led up to this.  You never thought you would be here.  When you swore to yourself that you would be with Max if it was the last thing you did, you didn’t know this is how it would end.  There was no way one could ever think it would end this way.

Each day was a steady routine.  You would wake up, get Steve to drive you to the hospital and then stay there as long as visitor hours would allow.  At least twice a week everyone would come to be there with her but there were days it was just you.  The doctors and nurses all knew you.  You had told them all you were her best friend, but many had figured it out by this point.  A best friend wouldn’t just show up day after day and talk until their throat hurt.  A best friend wouldn’t decorate for holidays to try and get their best friend to wake up.  A best friend wouldn’t be hurt in the way you were.  

You left the party after Max got hurt.  You couldn’t bring yourself to participate in the actions that got Max where she was.  You wouldn’t talk with them about what was happening.  You knew the world was falling down.  You knew they were fighting for their lives against Vecna, but so was Max.  It was because of them, because of Vecna that Max was laying in the hospital bed.  You just couldn’t bring yourself to do the same things that had gotten her here.  So you stopped talking with them.  You would speak when they came to check on her or when Steve drove you to the hospital, but outside of those times, it was just you,  Just you and your thoughts.

You stayed with her.  No matter how hard those times got, you stayed with her because you promised her that you would stay no matter what.  You had promised her long ago that you wouldn’t be going anywhere and you intended to keep that promise.  You talked to her, hoping somehow she could hear you telling her how much you loved her.  You hoped that somehow, wherever she was, she was fighting to come back to you.  Fighting to hold you one more time.  Fighting to say I love you one more time.  Fighting as hard as she could to come back to you.

[allfandomxreader]

are you doing a part four to back to you

Yes!! I have most of it written actually. I've been taking so long on this episode in particular because it's my favorite and I'm trying to do it justice. My goal is to have it posted sometime on Sunday but I'll give a little teaser in the meantime :)

“Can’t sleep either?” Steve asks from across the room. Even though he’s whispering, it still sounds too loud. You shake your head when you look at him. A small smile tugs at his lips as he jerks his head. “Come on.” Both of you quietly stand, stepping over bodies as you make your way to the stairwell. 

Neither of you speaks after you sit, you’re not sure how to even start a conversation with him anymore. It feels comfortable though, there’s no awkwardness or tension. You don’t yank your legs away when your knees touch. It feels almost like it used to. You’d be lying if you said you don’t miss this. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He asks softly, bumping his shoulder against yours. 

“This whole thing is just so scary,” you say, “I mean headaches, past trauma, nightmares? We all have that. Any one of us could be next. And how do we know if that’s just what we’re used to or this Vecna guy?” Steve listens intently as you ramble. “If something happens to any of those kids or Nancy and Robin, or—” you stop yourself before his name tumbles into the air. “We’ve just lost so many people. I can’t bear to lose any more.” 

“I know, but we’ll figure it out. We always do.” He tries his best to smile but it’s not convincing. “Are you still having nightmares?” he asks softly like he doesn’t want to know the answer. 

“They come and go. None recently, I guess that’s comforting.” you shrug. You don’t tell him that he dies in every single one. “And you? Do you still get them?” 

“Sometimes, they’re not nearly as bad as they used to be.” You remember those nights. Occasionally, you’d get a call in the early hours of the morning from him, begging you to come over so he wouldn’t be alone. On the evenings you stayed, he’d wake up screaming, thrashing the air. He would sweat, tremble, yell, and cry. And you would hold him until the monsters of his nightmares were at bay. 

You can find the series master list here :) Back to You

[tirednerd2012]

I would love to see Jonathan with a power like mental domination. Because I feel like it would be something he would see as more of a curse than a gift. He has a good handle on his power but to be super safe he chooses his words very carefully. He tries really hard to never say anything that sounds like a command. Because while he has a handle on it he never knows if he could mess up one day and get overwhelmed to the point that he uses it. I think that the fear would come from the one time he did lose control. Brenner pushed him to his limit. One minute there are ten guards holding him down to be sedated and the next thing he knows they are all dead at his feet because he told them to drop dead. I think after that he has nightmares about it. Like maybe some days he doesn’t speak at all to be sure nothing happens. A part of Will’s power is reading minds, so he has someone to communicate with on those days when they happen. Sometimes it takes a while for him to calm down enough to use his voice again. When he does use his powers on purpose it’s to protect his family.

Do we love giving Jonathan Byers trauma? Because I actually love the idea. Poor Jonathan would be so scared to use it, though.

Jonathan has the ability for mental domination, thought altering, emotion regulation, and he can change what someone is seeing. Brenner thought that he, Will and El were too dangerous which is what led to them needing to escape because Will read Brenner's mind on accident about how he intended on allowing the other kids to try and kill them after Jonathan killed 10 guards.

It was an accident. They went to sedate him, Will and El, and he panicked when the twins started to scream. He demanded that the guards drop dead and they did. No one moved. Brenner didn't realize Jonathan could command people to die, and neither did Jonathan, so both of them are just stunned and the twins are shocked by the bodies. Will was trying to read Jonathan's mind to communicate with him and he wanted to know what Brenner was thinking because he looked just as scared as Jonathan. Then he heard Brenner think that they needed to die, otherwise they were going to become too powerful. He told Jonathan later and then Jonathan planned the escape.

They're found by Joyce and Hopper later and that's when the boys' heritage is discovered. Jonathan knew that he always felt close with the twins and always wanted to keep them safe, so he's not too surprised and it changes nothing about El, she is his sister and if anyone had a problem with it, they could take it up with him. Will's abilities include mind reading, world altering, and, discovered years later during the time of Vecna, healing. El has her normal powers. Jonathan is amazed with the twins' abilities, but sees his more as a curse. He never gives commands, even when he has control of it, but sometimes he feels like he is going to lose it.

Some days when he isn't sure, he doesn't speak at all. Joyce and Hopper grow used to Will answering things for Jonathan during this time, but they want to help Jonathan feel more in control of his powers. Hopper understands just how deadly Jonathan (and all the kids) can be when they're handling the demodogs during Will's possession and, over it, Jonathan tells it all to drop dead and they do. It's also how he's able to lead the Mind Flayer out of Will while El closes the gate, though Joyce and Nancy are the ones to see that. They use heat like before, but in a moment of desperation, Jonathan uses his abilities to draw the Mind Flayer out of Will by commanding it, though the process is much more painful for Will because Jonathan is having to command Will and the Mind Flayer at the same time, which was something everyone wanted to avoid, Jonathan the most, but it had to be done when Will broke free from the restraints and had his hands around Joyce's throat. After, Will collapses against Jonathan and cries in panic and pain, while Jonathan falls silent because he's worried about what he might say.

During the entire Vecna situation, Jonathan was a target and it led to an argument between Will and Jonathan as the oldest brother was willing to sacrifice himself if that meant the others got to kill Vecna and end this whole thing. For some reason, his powers don't work when Vecna is in his mind, anything Jonathan wants to do has to be done in the Upside Down, but Jonathan doesn't want to risk the twins going in there, so he feels that this is the best way. Vecna will possess him and El and Will would do their thing and kill Vecna while he is in Jonathan's mind, so at least Jonathan has some control of the battlefield and can help that way. And he can push them out when it needs to be done, even if he can't do it for himself. Will hates the plan, and says that they don't even know what they're all capable of yet and there has to be a way for them to all survive. It blows up and the two brothers are practically in a screaming match, everyone stunned because they never fight. Ever. Then Jonathan gets overwhelmed and in the heat of the moment, tells Will to shut up, and due to his powers, Will does. And Jonathan stops, too, because he didn't mean to and one of his promises to himself was that he would never use those powers on his siblings. Instead of apologizing, he walks out and El and Will stay there for a few moments. Everyone is processing what happened when the twins decide to follow him.

Meanwhile Jonathan is mortified with himself because he's thinking about everything else he could have yelled at Will, and the amount of danger he brought him in by using his powers on him. The twins catch up to him and the first thing Jonathan registers is Will's arms around him then El's. Jonathan then starts apologizing to Will for using his abilities on him and Will recalls how he used to do the same to his older brother when he was learning about his abilities. To Jonathan that is completely different but he doesn't want to argue too much because Will is trying to make him feel better, so he goes along with it.

They still end up facing Vecna and Jonathan has more control in his mind than he thought, as Vecna isn't able to possess him like he would in the other AU, but he still can't use his powers to control Vecna. If he tells Vecna to die, it does nothing to him. He's able to prevent Vecna from changing the field while the twins fight and that comes to their advantage. There is a moment where it doesn't matter, and Vecna throws Will and Jonathan to the side, and then restrains El as he goes to finish off Jonathan. He starts the process when Will finally wakes up and sees what's happening, but he can't use his ability to attack like El can, so he grabs a piece of glass and stabs Vecna in the back with it, but by that point, the damage had been done. In rage El unleashes all her powers and kills Vecna, and both of them wake up to their mom holding Jonathan's body, every bone broken and his eyes bleeding. Both twins start crying as Will reaches out to Jonathan and holds on to him, even though by that point Jonathan had "died" and Will loses it. He hangs on to his brother, sobbing, while Hopper lifts El up and hugs her while she cries and mourns her brother. It's Joyce that notices when Jonathan's chest starts moving again and when she says something, Jonathan groans. Will is able to heal a majority of the injuries, but not completely as Jonathan still has a cast and was unable to walk for a few months, but as he continues practicing, he becomes better at healing.