#none of that is homophobia internalized or otherwise

[archive2394934]

trying to make henry homophobic when hes been abused and oppressed his entire life for being noticeably “different” (Which you know, you could actually read as being metaphorical to someone who is openly queer but what does my gay ass know lol) and that is literally the reason hes trying to fight to change the world so people like him who are “different” dont have to suffer under social constructs & systematic oppression, partic if you also hc him as queer, are still and will always be the worst takes on this character and in this fandom and I cant believe I keep having to see them in real time. 

[hadesoftheladies]

if you're a radfem (or feminist in general) chances are you're dealing with these: repressed anger and the effects of gaslighting

if you're exhausted a lot (without strenuous physical activity and lack of sleep), find yourself having outbursts of strong emotion, feeling desperate for a form of escape, fantasizing about drastic measures, anxious and "forgetful" about memories you have, nervous about speaking about your experiences . . .

here's some tricks on how i've been coping:

-boundaries. if you can cut off people (irl or online) that cause you to spiral into hate, frustration, anger at their ignorance/malice, do it. even if it's a musician whose one song you like. or your brother or dad. limit time as much as possible with them. the less access they have, the less relevant they become, the more energy you conserve.

-do art! create something, it doesn't matter what it is. express those emotions! make sure you're doing it in a judgement-free zone. it's important you don't become a critic at this time. do messy, honest art (sometimes i write short scenes of gay/lesbian characters to cope with the homophobia in my life, and it makes me feel MUCH better and less cynical, sometimes you need to create beauty to remember it exists in the world)

-get out! get out into nature, if you can. if you can't immerse yourself in some form of it. try watching a potted plant for a while or watch insects. take interest in the mundane aspects of life. see that leaf curl? that ant? you're part of that. when you see the clouds, remember they are part of the cycle. the earth grows into its beauty as you do. the moon is the sky's cycle tracker. you belong to this world. you belong in it. this is your home. revel in it.

-if you can, and if you want to, hang out with animals. animals are great companions with none of the misogyny, internalized or otherwise! they don't mind if you cry, either. seriously, if you need non-draining, non-complicated companionship, animals are a good option. it's also good to remember you're a simple animal sometimes, with simple needs. sometimes all you need is a nice belly rub and a little treat.

-cultivate female friendships where it's safe to rant and also not all about ranting. your friendships should be a comfort, not a chore. you need irl community. if you can access it at this time, if you can find a way to cultivate it, please do. it may save you

-it is okay to enoy things despite the evil in the world. you don't have to be an activist 24/7. go watch your favorite movie. listen to your favorite comedian. and let down your guard while you're enjoying that little something. it's important you don't fall into analyzing things.

-for the gaslighting, start having conversations where you make it explicitly clear that you want the other party to ONLY listen. also, JOURNAL, even if it's just a paragraph or two sentences. write down the small important facts of your day. you'll either build a more reliable memory or come to see how reliable your memory is. just don't hang out with people that are constantly testing you. that is not an environment where you develop healthy trust in yourself.

-fight back! these are some ways to heal from the bruising of the world, but honestly? you need to acknowledge how RIGHT and GOOD your anger is. and one of the best ways to do that is to fight back! do something that addresses part of the injustice your heart is screaming about. it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to help someone and address the situation. address the alarms in your brain telling you something isn't right and you have to do something about it. scratch that itch! do that something. you will feel really good

please feel free to add any other tips you guys may have for cultivating joy, hope and energy, because we don't have to be miserable while/for doing the right thing

[cosplayproblemsposts]

Stefan reaction to finding out his Mate is a male human

Warning: Internalized homophobia, Angst and coming out.

A/N: Bold text is Romanian

Stefan

This man grew up where same sex couples were almost none existent. So don't blame him if he acts or says something out of line.

You met him when the Volturi threatens the safety of Renesmee and the Cullens seek out witnesses.

You so happened to be the brother of Bella Swan who was unfortunately dragged into her mess but is more than happy to help.

Biding enough time to come out to Bella, Charlie was at least somewhat easy. Minus the whole "Does your mother know? What about Bella? does she know?" questions.

You wanted to come out to her earlier when she first arrived to Fork but then came along Edward and that is when things became complicated.

Afterall the Cullens were born around different time areas where queer people were punished.

You are fiddling about trying to piece together what you should say to Bella and how she'll possibly react. Praying the sudden shield to prevent Edward from reading your mind doesn't magically disappear.

A sudden disturbance catches your attention from your anxious fumbling. "What are we meant to do now; when they are here?" The sound of Kate's voice brought you back to the sudden disturbance.

"Renesmee stick by me" the little girl stuck by your side as the remaining Cullens, the Denali coven and Jacob approach with two new uninvited guests.

Suck in a sharp breath at the sight of a dark-haired olive-skinned man, nonother then a vampire. He stood 5'3 shorter compared to you, you stood at 5'10.

He seems to have taken notice of your presence; an invisible seal of a bond forms. It frightens both you and him, his companion took notice of his pause.

Edward frowns alongside Bella who too took notice of the sudden tension between her brother and the crimson eyed vampire. "Y/N this is Stefan and Vladimir".

The duo seemed unfazed but Edward knew otherwise, their thoughts were loud and obvious to the point Edward knew exactly what was happening. Edward did not know how to react, Bellas eyes shifted from her brother to Edward connecting the dots.

You were worried, you have never experienced this sort of supernatural phenomenon before. You only knew of Edward and Bella disaster development of a relationship.

It bothered you, felt itchy and slimy in a way. It made you feel uncomfortable. "There is no more room" you announce earning a light whack from Esme.

"We will make due" Esme forces a welcoming smile, everyone seemed on edge by the two vampires' presence.

"You are aggravating" Stefan comments, just the two of you alone in the guest bedroom. "Oh..." Stefan studies you, he seemed almost annoyed.

"If I done something wrong I can..." you fall silent at his expression, it was as if your voice annoyed him. Stefan grew frustrated and annoyed by your presence.

Stefan would watch you from afar, annoyed by your presence and your laughter. Emmet would make a joke and you'll follow up with a laugh and snarky comment.

"Break a lot of stuff?" Emmet commented once Bella and Edward returned. Bella and Edward wondered off to calm down for a reason you don't know just yet. "Edward it must be tiring searching online for indestructible beds" your comment earns a few laughs and a high five from Emmet.

Edward and Bella don't laugh or smile at your sly comment instead they seemed almost annoyed by Stefan and Vladimir little grins. "You have to confess he is humorous Stefan" Stefan replies with a silent agreement in the form of a nod.

"Y/N let's take a ride" Bella instructs while tossing you the keys to your car. "Where to captain?" She doesn't reply, instead she just beckons you to follow her.

The car ride is quiet and tense, Bella hasn't said a word since you left the Cullen residency. "Are you okay Bells? everything is going to be, okay" Bella turns down the radio.

"He is your mate" you frown at what she said, your heart beating hard and fast in your ribcage. "What are you talking about?" Bella combs a hand through her hair.

"Stefan is your mate, Edward confirms he is conflicted to know you are a man" this made you fall silent. Bella looks at you, she hears your heart beat.

"Bella there is something I have to tell you" Bella is now worried. You pull over to the side of the road "I wanted to tell you for a long time but I didn't know how you'll react or what you'll say".

Bella grew more nervous believing she had done something wrong to make your heart beat so much. "Bella, I have never really liked girls, it only became obvious when you tried to set me up with Jessica. I don't find girls...attractive as I find...".

You fall silent at Bella stares "as you find men more appealing and..." she falls silent as you begin sniffling. "I'm sorry" Bella hugs you in a comforting embrace.

"I should have known and I'm sorry for setting you up with Jessica" Bella rubs circles into your back. She felt like an idiot, the entire time she believed Jessica wasn't your type and maybe you would have liked Maria from your Math class.

At the drive back you both talked about how to approach the situation with Stefan. "I'll talk to Edward and settle things with him. I don't want him to threaten anyone" you froze and stare at her "you are joking right?" she bites her bottom lip.

"He is not thrilled to know he is your mate" Bella walks off deep into the house to find her ticking time bomb of a mate. "Where is the food?" Seth asked from upstairs, you took notice of the Romanian duo.

"You never said anything about food" Seth seemed disappointed. "Great now we have to suffer through Jacob's cooking". You shook your head "Esme will not let him anywhere near the kitchen since the breakfast incident".

Leah did not seem pleased to discover she'd have to eat whatever Esme was cooking. "You can either starve or eat Esme special pasta" you quip taking a seat next to her.

Seth is occupied with the T.V "C'mon Lee, you know you like her cooking so don't pretend". Leah frowns at you but couldn't stay mad at you forever, she leans into you.

"If I have to suffer through another rewatch of Star Wars Seth I'm going to tear the T.V from the wall" you laugh at Leahs comment. "Star Wars is not so bad" Leah itches closer to you, nuzzling into your shoulder.

Leah liked you more compared to your sister, she liked your brutal honesty and how you never wanted her to leave. Inviting her to hang out, the two of you immediately became good friends.

A certain Vampire did not appreciate how close Leah is to you. Vladimir enjoyed how the shifter got under his coven mate cold skin "should I leave you to behead her brother?".

Leah felt the glares of the vampire "don't you two have other things to do? do what you tick do best". Seth watches Leah "Lee leave them alone" Leah stares at you. "They have done nothing wrong...yet" Leah seems to settle down.

Stefan storms out of the room with a not so happy expression. Vladimir follows after him, in the process the two bushes pass Edward and Bella.

"What was that all about?" Bella asked but Edward expression gave it away. "Y/N it is probably best you don't speak to him for a while" Leah frowns at his words and looks at you.

"It's not like we were on talking bases" your comment earns a stern expression from Bella "this is serious Y/N if he loses his temper then who do you think he'll lash out at".

"What? how does it have to do with me? the old tick needs to sort out his priorities" Leah and Seth are confused. Bella whacks you lightly upside the head "he is your mate!" Leah and Seth look taken aback.

"What do you want me to do about it? he gives me the cold shoulder; he doesn't talk to me and when he does, he insults me". Edward shook his head "he is angry to know you are his second chance. Angry and yet delighted to know he has found his mate".

[sevensoulmates]

https://www.tvinsider.com/1130358/911-buck-eddie-romance-season-7/

Is this good news or bad for buddie?

Anon, it's the final countdown BENENEEEEEHH BENENENEHHH BENENEEENNEHEH

Insert obligatory "I don't ever take Tim/showrunner's/actors press opinions as fact EVER" here.

Once again, at the top of my lungs: THE ACTORS AND THE WRITERS ARE NEVER (REPEAT) NEVERRRR GOING TO REVEAL THAT BUCK AND EDDIE WILL BE TOGETHER DEFINITELY IN A PRESS INTERVIEW. IN FACT THEY WILL ACTIVELY LIE ABOUT IT.

The fact that Tim and Oliver were even speaking like it's a possibility is a fucking win.

The part about Eddie and women screams that Eddie's gonna go through an internalized homophobia deconstruction arc at some point. Refer to my last ask about Eddie and his possible queer arc.

Also, take into consideration everything ELSE Oliver and Tim have said in the last like 5 interviews about this episode. There is something more than "friendship jealousy" happening in this episode. And no, it's not about Buck wanting Tommy, though obviously, that is all they can ascribe it to in the press (because none of the future episodes are out yet, duh.). If it's not friendship jealousy, and Buck is SURPRISED that Tommy is into him, then no. It was also NOT about Tommy. Mayhaps it was about the man that Buck literally could not shut up about the entire fucking episode.

I think that the true underlying thing Buck is not comprehending is that no, this is not friendship jealousy, this is not Tommy jealousy, this is Buck is in love with Eddie jealousy/awakening, and it's "bothering" Buck because it's shaking his entire view of their relationship for the last SIX YEARS.

This episode, in my opinion, was a speed run of Buck's relationship with Eddie. Culminating in a kiss with Tommy. This says to me, point blank period, that eventually Buck will be at this point with Eddie. Nothing's convincing me otherwise, not even Timothy and his bald head.

[jjellysoo]

what are your headcanons for xs? im starving for content too sksld so i wanna know your thoughts/headcanons on them!

Hi, thank you for the ask!! >:)

Not many general headcanons make it into my work because I tend to write about specific concepts, so this was fun!

I love all interpretations of the XS timeline, but I don't think they were together during the story's canon. Post-canon and I can see an argument for the TYL arc. Extremely dubious on anything pre-cradle affair.

Xanxus is absolutely the jealous type, but he won't address it in a practical way. He's known to cling to his possessions, right?

On that note - Dino, count your days.

Xanxus is very much into Squalo's hair. If he can touch it, he will, whether that's a pleasant touch or not.

Besta likes Squalo the most after Xanxus himself, and will try to smother him and kiss him, which Xanxus ignores like he's getting paid for it.

It's a private relationship, for several reasons. Not many people know about it, and if they do, they're not going to comment on it lest they want to part ways with their face.

Except for Luss, of course, who bombards Squalo with dumb questions when they have downtime, none of which are answered. That 101 battles was ROUGH.

No pet names other than the usual insults that probablyyy count as pet names. But don't tell them I said that.

Xanxus runs warm because of his flame (why he can run around half shirtless), and Squalo runs cold (why he wears fur and coats and earmuffs all the time!) The ideal temperature equilibrium for cuddling.

This is canon, but Xanxus is overall calmer when Squalo is around HQ.

Squalo finds Xanxus' scars attractive as they relate to his rage, but he wouldn't mention it because of the sore topic. If Xanxus ever lost control over his scars in a sexual context, well....

Squalo has had feelings for Xanxus since the beginning. He must've been pretty convinced things were going to work out, huh? When you know you know etc. etc.

Xanxus has some Avengers level threat internalized homophobia. His whole complex is over being heir to the Vongola, and part of that role is having a family and children, so being with a man would be really hard for him to comes to terms with. Also, the stereotypes of gay men that he'd be acquainted with go against the persona he's made for himself.

In effect, it's really hard for him to be openly affectionate. Queue glass throwing and hair pulling.

SAME TANGENT because I see this way too much but these two could not be a casual FWB situation given Xanxus' complex.

Okay so this is based on the inheritance ceremony where Timoteo is a little bitch to Squalo for no reason. THOSE TWO BEEF LIKE CRAZY IN THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE "IN LAWS" WAY POSSIBLE. Squalo obviously dislikes him because he ruined Xanxus' life and is dismissive of the Varia as a whole, Timoteo dislikes him because he thinks he's trying to get with his son and go against what a right hand man is supposed to be.

If there's one thing that's going to fluster (fluster!?) Varia Captain and Sword Emperor Superbia Squalo, it's going to be Xanxus. Squalo never expected to get this far, so when he spends his life in respectful admiration and is suddenly getting bombarded with what would otherwise be normal couple behavior, he doesn't know what to do.

Xanxus pretends to be unaware of the effect he has, but definitely knows and extorts it because it's cute

I'm not kidding when I say I have more than this, but that's where I'm cutting it off for today. Hope this feeds you well enough, for now, anon! :D

[schrijverr]

I Dig You 1

Chapter 1 out of 8

Robin is tentatively excited for her first internship: an archaeological dig in the Netherlands, where she has been studying. However, when she gets there, Steve is there too. The dick of their uni that she now has to work with. Great. But being stuck digging for six weeks makes people bond and maybe he isn’t too bad. Maybe he can be her friend.

AKA an archaeology interns, modern, enemies-to-friends stobin au

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: referenced homophobia

~~~~

Chapter 1: Encounter

Of course.

Of fucking course.

Robin will never be rid of this fucking guy, she seethes as she glares daggers into the back of Steve Harrington’s head. He hasn’t done anything in particular, he just showed up. But that was enough for Robin.

Why must he also be here? She would have totally thought he’d be in the Caribbean sieving sand instead of being here with her in a random small town in the Netherlands for his internship. It doesn’t make any sense, but here he is anyway.

Robin herself couldn’t afford to go on a uni internship, you had to pay to excavate, no thanks. She couldn’t even really afford a plane ticket home for the summer break, so she stayed in the Netherlands for her internship. A paid one, albeit only if you can count 3 euro per hour paid. It isn’t much, but otherwise she’s not getting credit for it, so alas.

However, Steve very much has Caribbean internship money. Or even Greece internship money. He could be chilling somewhere in the sun, but instead he’s here as well. And Robin doesn’t fucking get it.

She knows Steve has money, because she has been forced into his proximity since the introduction in the first year. As the two Americans in their year, they have often been grouped together and Robin would rather the uni stop. She has made her own friends. Not many or very good ones, but friends.

Enough that she doesn’t want to be stuck with Steve, whose parents bought him a house – not an apartment, but a house – when he came to study here. A house he throws so many parties at with girls who all thrist over him. It’s fucking annoying. He’s fucking annoying. And none of the pretty girls realize it and Robin wants to scream.

And instead of being rid of him for the summer, they’re stuck together for six weeks, because apparently he is on the same excavation she is.

Robin herself is here out of desperation. She has more of an interest in archaeosteology and the illnesses you can find in human remains. However, no graveyard was being excavated, so she’s getting her six weeks experience at a random excavation instead. Fine enough.

She doesn’t know what Steve is interested in, but she expects it to be something stupid like the Romans or something. Or maybe he doesn’t care for any of it and is he just doing it, because his mommy and daddy told him he had to do something and he thought archaeology would be easy. Must be regretting that now with the big practical aspect of it.

Maybe he forgot about the internships and didn’t sign up, so this is a desperate last resort to get his credits? That seems pretty likely, so Robin accepts that as reality.

Not that knowing why will change anything. And Steve doesn’t even seem to realize how much he has just ruined her summer. He just greets her with a smile as he asks: “You also interning here?”

“Yup,” Robin says, not trying to be rude, but also not feeling like being friendly.

Luckily the project leader introduces himself to them as they introduce themselves back. His name is Jeroen and he shows them the trench they’ll be working in for the first week, week and a half. Together. Great.

The excavation has been going on for a while already, but it won’t be done soon, since they’re digging at a construction site where an entire new neighborhood is being built. Robin is unfamiliar with commercial archaeology, so she listens eagerly, glad everyone here seems to speak good English. She has picked up phrases here and there, but she is far from fluent.

They’re currently working in trench five or, in Dutch, put vijf, while next to it construction is already happening on what used to be trench four. Further along trench six is already being plotted and dug by the machine excavator.

In trench five – put, Robin reminds herself, wanting to be able to get the terms right for when they’re written down, since the excavation is in Dutch – they need to dig up and record all the features, sporen in Dutch.

The two have couped at their first fieldschool, so they’re given a shovel to go with their trowel and Jeroen explains how the admin system works, before setting them loose to coup the first half of all the features – no, sporen.

Robin is half tempted to wait and see where Steve starts, so she can dig at the other side of the put, but there are already a few people digging and she wants to be friendly with the people that are going to be her coworkers, so she follows after Steve.

With Jeroen, it’s a team of nine total, including her and Steve. Since they can only work one put at a time (not to mention it’s summer break) a bigger team isn’t necessary. Robin is grateful for it, because large groups of people have never been her thing, so this smaller crew seems a lot more manageable.

Maybe this internship wouldn’t be too bad.

One woman, Astrid, takes them under her wing a little, asking: “Have you dug many coups before already?”

Robin shares a look with Steve – it’s involuntary, she swears, but it happens. Their fieldschool wasn’t exciting with nothing being found.

So, while they did get the theoretical explanation that when people in the past dug holes to place things like poles or trash, those poles and organic trash decomposed and with the new layer of soil that formed a new color dirt filled the hole, which they could now see when they dug to the C horizon in the earth. Neither of them have dug out many of the features/sporen.

However, Robin doesn’t want to admit to her own inexperience so bluntly. Steve does not have that inhibition, easily shrugging: “Like one or two. This is my first internship.” And while Robin still doesn’t like Steve, she is glad that she can just nod along.

“Alright, but you know how to do it, right?” Astrid asks, before chuckling: “It’s luckily not that hard.”

Robin awkwardly chuckles too as the two of them nod.

“I’ll draw some-” Astrid stops her sentence and turns to one of the others, who is digging further down, yelling: “Bas, wat is een goede vertaling voor coupeerhaken?”

The man in question, Bas, looks up and thinks for a second. The he yells back: “Geen idee, iets van coup hooks?”

Robin’s Dutch isn’t amazing, but she’s pretty sure Astrid just asked Bas for a translation of the word and Bas had no clue either.

She turns back to them apologetically and says: “I’m going to call them coup hooks. The little thingies to indicate what part to dig out, you know what I mean right?”

“Yeah, I do,” Robin smiles, wanting to assure Astrid.

“I would have no clue what to call them otherwise,” Steve adds and Robin feels vaguely annoyed, because she is pretty sure Astrid’s smile back is directed at Steve, not her.

“Anyway,” Astrid moves on. “I’ll draw some for you until you get the hang of them. And just give a holler if you find anything, you’ll know because you’ll hear your shovel break it.”

Robin still finds the idea of breaking any finds horrifying, but it seems to be part of it. And she doesn’t want to pull attention to it, so she just thanks Astrid and follows after her with Steve to the first two sporen so they can start digging.

Astrid quickly explains: “The card with the… uh, spoornummer… Ah, featurenumber! When you’re done digging stick it in to the side, so we know it hasn’t been drawn in yet.”

“And photos?” Robin asks, proud at herself for managing to speak up and ask about something she’s confused about instead of being anxious about it in private. College is good her her. Growth and all that.

To answer her question, Astrid gets a company phone with a sturdy case that functions as a camera and explains the admin app for photos to them. She points to where the North arrow and folding ruler are, before leaving them to it.

Now couping can be a little boring, especially in put five where there is apparently nothing to be found in the sporen. So they’re just digging to find out what shape the discolored earth is in the hopes of figuring out what its function used to be.

She and Steve work in silence for most of it. He tries to start a few conversations, but she isn’t really in the mood to talk to him, more focused on creating a neat little square for a coup and not letting her vibe be ruined by Steve.

They have two breaks that day of half an hour, one is on the boss, but they have to pay for the other themselves. So after eight and a half hours, Robin says goodbye to the first day of her summer internship.

While it was kinda fun, she is glad to be done for the day. She still has two and a half hours in public transport ahead of her, before she’s home and can rinse off the dirt and sweat, something she is looking forward too. As she checks in, she sends a small thank you for free public transport for students to the sky, because she couldn’t afford the daily commute otherwise to this outer corner of the Netherlands.

The next day her alarm goes early in the morning and she’s glad she doesn’t have roommates in her student housing, because they would probably hate her with how she’s grumbling and stumbling around in her studio.

At the dig site, Steve looks way too chipper for the hour and she sends him a glare. He looks a little confused, maybe even hurt by it and she feels a bit bad. However, she stuffs the emotion away and grabs a shovel. Steve is an asshole, she probably just imagined it.

Again, they’re digging coups the whole day. The sun is burning and the ground is drying out, making it incredibly difficult to get through. So, they’re all sweaty and a bit burnt when the first break is finally here. Robin finds it quite funny how they’re all re-applying sunscreen together, sitting in a circle.

And so the days continue.

That first week Robin gets into a rhythm. She stumbles out of bed early in the morning, dozes in the train, dozes in the bus, before having to walk the last bit to the dig site. There they dig all day, putting on sunscreen during both breaks, before she takes the bus and train again, showering when she gets home and shoveling down an easy meal. Digging makes you hungry. Then she writes her daily reports, before falling into bed.

She also tries to make contact with the other people they work with. All of them are nice and their English is great – not an odd detail, considering most of them studied at the university in English, taking the same courses she is now.

However, they’ve worked in the field along other Dutch people since their graduation, so it’s habit to fall back in the language. Robin gets it, but she feels awkward reminding them that she can’t follow along. Her Dutch isn’t that great yet. So, she kind of fades to the background.

Steve is in the same boat as her, though he has less trouble reminding him he doesn’t speak Dutch, which Robin is reluctantly grateful for.

She knows she could be taking with Steve, since he won’t default to Dutch on accident, but she is holding on to her grudge. Not that Steve is making it easy. He seems perfectly nice and charming, which grates on her nerves.

And makes it very difficult to dislike him. Something that makes Robin dislike him even more and that only fuels her silence.

Not that it has deterred Steve from talking to her. He must have gotten tired of reminding people around Thursday that first week and has taken up talking to her during their breaks. It’s nothing interesting, just classes, professors, friends, parties, other shit he did. He doesn’t seem to mind her lack of replies.

Robin has to admit that Steve is funny too. Fucking annoying that is. But the jokes he makes are hilarious and she has to bite her lip not to laugh. She doesn’t like Steve, she reminds herself, she’s not giving him the satisfaction of laughing.

She breaks on Tuesday of week two. It’s about the stupidest joke too. Steve is telling her about how he got rejected for a date at a faculty party, groaning: “And she turned me down all because I told her that I dug her. You know, digging? Because we’re archaeologists. That’s a great joke, works on Argyle every-”

He cuts himself off in surprise, eyes growing wide as he looks at her. It’s only when he falls silent that she realizes she laughed.

An embarrassed blush covers her cheeks immediately and she looks away with a huff. “It’s a good pun,” she admits, as though under duress. It isn’t that good, but it’s funny.

For a second she regrets admitting that, until she chances a glance at Steve and sees him wearing a proud, self-satisfied grin. It almost looks as if trying to get her to laugh had been his goal all along and she doesn’t know how to feel about it.

The gesture is sweet, but for all she knows, he could be trying to get into her pants. She hates when guys try to do that.

“Thanks,” he smiles at her, oblivious to her inner musings. Then he blows her expectations out of the water when he laughs: “I should stop trying that line on girls, honestly. The only time it every worked was when I asked out Tommy, but that was never going to be more than a fling.”

“You’re… queer?” Robin asks, too surprised to hide it.

“Yeah, bi. Didn’t you know?” Steve asks in return, frowning a little. “I thought for sure we talked a little at that lgbtq hang out thing back in first year.”

They had, Robin remembers that and now she feels a little terrible for her bitter thoughts as she admits: “I thought you were only there to get into Tammy’s pants.”

Steve is quiet for a moment and just when Robin thinks he’s going to get mad or upset – neither of which are good since Robin gets anxious when people are mad and uncomfortable when they’re upset – Steve laughs again.

It surprises Robin almost more than the earlier revelation. He looks at her with a grin and says: “To be fair, I was trying to get into Tammy’s pants.”

He looks so kind as he says it, so nonjudgmental – unlike Robin had been – like he doesn’t care that she kinda erased his identity and called him performative. Maybe there is more to Steve than she had realized, she thinks, as she allows herself to smile back and say: “Sorry.”

Steve shrugs: “It’s okay. I try not to flaunt it too much anyway. Can’t have word coming back to my folks back home, you know.”

Robin flinches a little at that. Her own parents are cool and have always been, but she’s still forced into a dress whenever they go by her conservative grandmother, having to listen to all the advice about how to get a husband.

“That sucks,” she tells him genuinely, because they queers have to stick together.

“Tell me about it,” Steve chuckles, fortunately not sounding too bothered about the whole thing. “I guess it could be worse. My dad wanted me to be a legacy at Yale, then he would have heard all about what I’ve been doing from his old buddies. Now I got a whole ocean between us and no eyes on me at all. Just have to be careful about what I put online, but that’s it.”

It sounds like he’s underselling how much it sucks, but Robin isn’t going to push. If Steve is trying to undersell it, then he probably doesn’t want to talk about it. So, she just awkwardly goes: “That’s nice.”

Luckily, she is saved by the break ending and the two go out into the field again, digging even more coups.

They’re almost done with put five and put six has already being dug. There hasn’t been much inside the coups here, but they’re optimistic about more being found elsewhere, since they’re currently on the outer edge of what used to be a settlement instead of at the center.

This time, when they’re out digging, Robin actually talks back to Steve. She has decided that he can’t be all bad and digging in silence was kind of a bummer. So, she’s giving him a chance and hoping her faith isn’t misplaced. It would suck if Steve truly is a douche.

~~

A/N:

I wanted Robin to be interested in proto-languages and how you can trace migration and interaction through language, but idk enough about it, so I went with archaeosteology because it fits with Robin too and I know a little bit more of it, though not too much either lol (im planning on projecting my own interests onto Steve bc they fit him better)

Also rip Roman arch, u can be interesting, but ur also the normie archaeology that gets way too hyped for no reason xp

I’m 100% Astrid trying to translate subject specific lingo and struggling, though I manage to do it both ways lmaooo

Also I love couping, idc what people say, it’s not boring and while it might be hard work, it is quite fun when you get into it

(btw, I think international students sadly don’t get free public transport here, which is so sad, but I didn’t want to put Robin through actual public transport prices bc those are criminal (we love a private company having a monopoly on a public service))

[miniar]

Human beings are not sexually dimorphic.

This is the biological fact ignored by every misogynistic and/or transphobic person on the planet because their bigotry hinges on believing otherwise.

When a species is sexually dimorphic it has two distinct and different sexes.

What that means is that there are traits that apply to all of the males of the species and none of the females, and there are different traits that apply to all of the females of the species and none of the males.

Think of birds for example. A male ostrich has black and white feathers. A female ostrich has brown feathers. They are sexually dimorphic.

There is no trait that all human men have that no woman has.

Beards? Nope. Some men do not grow beards and some women do.

Tits? Nope. Some women don't grow beards and some men do.

Height? Absolutely not! The difference between the tallest percentile of women (taller) and the shortest percentile of men (shorter) is about five times greater than the difference in average men's (taller) and women's (shorter) heights.

Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

There is no biological difference between men and women that is Universal and Distinct.

So every single argument that operates from the idea, the basis, that men and women are "inherently" different is an argument based on a cultural idea and that cultural idea exists to justify the different treatment of men and women and nothing else.

That cultural idea is the very core justification for All misogyny.

It exists For that purpose.

You can not hold to this idea, this myth, and not participate in the justification of all sex and gender based bigotry.

You can't hold this falsehood to be true without giving permission for sexism, transphobia, and homophobia to exist.

The myth of human sexual dimorphism is what that bigotry is built upon.

Our experiences differ. Our access to society differs. Our lives differ, YES!

And they differ because of a myth.

A myth that is so pervasive, so widespread, that it can feel near impossible to disbelieve it, it's built into our societies at every level, it's the building blocks of our inequality and of what tools we are given to combat it, it's everywhere.

But it's still a myth.

It's not true.

It's been used to condition us from the day we were born. It affects how we treat our own children from the day they are born. It's in our music, in our movies, in our books, in our games, in our clothing, in our food, in our drinks.

It's in everything we consume and everything we are exposed to.

But it's still a myth.

It is not true.

And we will not be rid of the harms done by this myth unless we start to call it what it is and start doing the work to dismantle it's influence upon us, our thoughts, our emotional reactions, our beliefs, our behaviours, our self image, our ideas of who and what we are.

Without that work, we will never be free of our own sexism, our own internalized misogyny, and we will never be able to free ourselves and each other from the myth's grasp on our whole society.

It's hard. It's asking a lot.

But if we want a society that is just, that is fair, that treats us all as human beings, we have to stop holding onto the myths that are used to justify an unjust world, and that includes this one.

The biological fact is that we are not sexually dimorphic and many of our so called differences in averages are likely created and maintained by that myth and how it affects our treatment from infancy.

It's time we stopped pretending otherwise.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Hey, I am working on longer headcanons and stuff currently. Work is being a lot, though, and my brain isn't staying still long enough to do more than a bit at a time. So, in the meantime--

The Outsiders Queer Headcanons : (Part 1)

Kind of modern au? Most of these labels didn't really exist in the 60s and they probably wouldn't be thinking of labels or processing their queer feelings like that back then, but I think if they had the labels and were in a more accepting society this is what they'd identify as.

Warning : homophobia, I can't write about a group of men from the conservative southern 1960s and their queerness semi-realistically without touching on it

Ponyboy -

biromantic, demisexual

preference towards men, but not a strong one... like, 60/40 split

personally, I ship Purly, so there's that. also, Pony 100% really started experimenting in college. like, him and Curly had some mutual feelings before, he went to college and came back like "OH, okay, yeah I like guys, cool," and an actual relationship came from that

Sodapop -

pansexual, doesn't care about gender in the slightest

is probably the most chill with lgbt stuff from the beginning. even outside of modern au, if someone was openly queer around the gang then everyone else would be at varying levels of uncomfortable (because, uh, conservative southern 60s), but Soda would just be like "you know what, good for them!! they seem happy!!"

wouldn't seek it out on his own, but if he was introduced into the lgbt community he'd DEFINITELY get into experimenting with gender. still cis, but plays with drag occasionally and gets damn good at it.

actually doesn't really care about gender at all. won't consider himself anything other than a guy, he was raised a guy and doesn't have any issues with that or any reason to say otherwise, but also doesn't have any strong connection to it. you could call him anything (gender-wise) and he'd be chill. technically, cassgender would describe him accurately, but it don't think he'd use the label because it wouldn't really be saying anything important to him.

Darry -

unfortunately, that is a Heterosexual Man. (nothing wrong with straight people, I'm just a gay genderqueer femboy that happens to lowkey be a Darry simp, so it's unfortunate that I can't see him any other way--)

tries really hard to be an ally because his brothers very much date men, but struggles a tiny bit

wouldn't be mean to a queer person, but is very confused and uncomfortable with the topic because it's unfamiliar to him

asks a lot of kind of awkward questions. like, wants to understand and is trying, but it comes out so weird.

bless his heart

Two-Bit -

probably straight... heteroflexible?

has only dated women, has only been attracted to women, but is open minded

when he's single, he talks about a future partner pretty neutrally or says things like, "when I have a wife, or husband idk I'm not a psychic--"

makes really homophobic jokes out of discomfort, uses humor to cope and is just super not use to gay people. not doing it maliciously, but sometimes says things that are pretty terrible without meaning to

if called out, he'll stop (to an extent, he'll still take the easy opportunity for a dumb joke, but he isn't saying anything horribly offensive anymore), he just genuinely did not know that what he was saying was actually really awful

Steve -

bisexual and incredibly homophobic

so mad about being attracted to men. the fact that he PREFERS men? disgusting.

all of the characters have internalized homophobia, but none half as powerful as this man's.

the type to say that he'd "never choose to be gay" and honestly does think (or maybe just convinces himself) that it's a choice. thinks that everyone is essentially bi but "chooses" their sexuality based on which attractions they act on. desperately does not want to be wrong (but is very much wrong)

would probably have a secret "casual" relationship for a LONG time before he can't do it anymore and is forced to accept that he's into men for real

you'd think that being best friends with Soda, the most chill person ever with this stuff, would help. maybe it does and god knows how long it would take Steve to come around without him. but it still takes him SO long to just be okay with any of it.

he does grow out of being terrible about it (maybe not fully, but at least mostly), it just takes a TON of time and a good handful of mental breakdowns to get there

Johnny -

unlabeled, struggles to tell if he's aroace-spec or if he just has trouble being close to people due to trauma. isn't sure if the two are connected or how, doesn't really like thinking about it for too long.

he also has trouble distinguishing different types of attraction at all.

basically just along for the ride whenever it comes to his sexuality. if he's attracted to someone, then alright. he's spent a long time trying to figure attraction out to only end up more confused, he might wonder about it when he does get a crush but he isn't actively deep-diving into his feelings and searching for accurate labels.

Dally -

bisexual, heavy preference towards women though

would probably never act on feelings towards a guy, those kind of really scare him. but he has seen a good handful of guys that he's just fully, undeniably attracted to, so he knows damn well it's a lie to call himself straight

(he's still going to, tho)

also, demiromantic

denies that he's romantically interested in anyone ever, but he does feel that attraction. he just has to have a bit of trust before he can feel it.

not actually explicitly homophobic, genuinely does not care what other people do with their lives, but he's a piece of shit in general so he'll definitely see a queer person as an easy target. he's the type of person to use anything he can to start something, he's going to use someone being a minority against them just because he's a fucking ass.

[ourimpavidheroine]

Can you recommend any good Wuko fics?

I've done of a few of these rec posts over time - I have a lot on my plate right now but if you search through my archives you can probably find them. (Not trying to be a dick, but Tumblr's search is busted and I've got a work deadline for next week. Otherwise I would!)

I am going to be honest, though. I haven't really read much of the newer Wuko stuff. I tried a few and they weren't really my kind of fic. No shade intended at all, and not a comment about anyone's writing skills and/or plotlines. The newer Wuko Nation stuff seems to use homophobia - both internalized as well as external - fairly frequently as a plot device and it's not my thing. (That comes down to being a middle-aged openly queer person who was forced to actually move to another continent to be with the person I loved due to systemic homophobia, so reading a fic about it isn't really my idea of entertainment. I am the first to admit this is wholly personal to me, however.) So I wouldn't be recommending most of that anyhow, just because if homophobia is in the tags it's an automatic skip from me, regardless of fandom.

All that being said, I will say that it's fairly depressing that some of my long-term readers have pointed out to me where some of the newer Wuko fics have outright stolen some of the phrases I've created for my own fics without any kind of attrition. Raava in a teapot? Yeah. 2015 I came up with that, and I have the receipts. There are others, too. And I get that none of these Wuko Nation writers are recommending my fic - and that's okay, for real, for whatever reason, the heart wants what it wants - but it's common courtesy when you steal a phrase from another fic to give a nod back to it. Even if you don't recommend it. And that does leave a sour taste in my mouth, which tbh, doesn't really make me want to read a lot of it either.

[ishiptables]

Title: Trust Author: yours truly Main Pairing: Mishima Yuuki / Persona 5 Protagonist Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: none Tags: MC is called Kurusu Akira, Fluff, Not Actually Unrequited Love, MC's POV, Very slight (consequently resolved) miscommunication, First Kiss, Boys Kissing, Kissing, Mild Internalized Homophobia, A few dialogues pulled and slightly changed from ranks 7 and 9 of the Moon Confidant, Spoilers for Mishima's Confidant but none otherwise, Getting Together, Rated T for internalized homophobia but Gen otherwise Summary: Akira struggles to let his feelings out, he doesn't talk much. When someone he cares deeply for seems to refuse to believe himself to be worth something, Akira learns to talk.

Or, two damaged boys find each other. Notes: Forgot to post the link to this one here, whoops.

[thickness-protection-program]

TBH I never understood size queens and their obsession with big dicks. Like, damn. Pussy as an example is only like, maximum 6 inches deep before you hit that cervix. G-spot only about 2 or 3 inches in. Going any bigger than that on a regular basis?????? No offense to those that do have them big dicks, but damn. I'm here to have a good time, not get my ass and pussy so destroyed I can't even shit right. I like being sore but not SORE ya know? Big dick is nice maybe sometimes, but it ain't for me. Catch me riding small to medium dick any day.

Exactly. Like, ultimately I really couldn't care less what kind of dick you like. Large, medium, small, fat, narrow, up, down, left, right, it's all inconsequential to me and quite frankly none of my business. But the issue is when people's internalized misogyny (and it could even lead into a conversation about internalized homophobia and internalized racism) makes them think of one as objectively worse than the other and subsequently shaming them for that. Like how do you preach body positivity.... but you're not positive about all bodies?? 🤔 How do you make fun of someone while they're in such a vulnerable state that is being naked? Tbh I feel sorry for size queens for forcing themselves into a box and for alienating otherwise awesome people. Anyways make sure to give your own dicks a compliment today!

[woomycritiques543]

None of Moxxie's flashback with Chaz showed anything romantic, and that actually makes me uncomfortable. I'm not sure how old Chaz is, but he reminds me of those adults that look for young people who are inexperienced to defile them.

TW: HOMOPHOBIA, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, GROOMING.

It does kind of feel like Chaz was grooming Crim's son.

He also let the arranged marriage happen, and didnt mind sexually harassing Moxxie once he was no longer giving him what he wants.

The show, of course, sexualizing the situation, as even if moments where the sa is "sad" the show still wants to have it sexualized one way or another, while also having their cake and eating it too by giving Moxxie a "pitty" scene because of what happened to go "OH NO! CHAZ DID SA! HOW SAD! FEEL BAD FOR MOX HERE WHILE WE LAUGH AT HIM BEING SA'D BY BLITZ EVERYWHERE ELSE! SO WE CAN MAKE BLITZ LOOK LIKE A BETTER PERSON THAT HE ACTUALLY IS FOR DOING THE SAME THING- BUT WORSE!" but then having more cake and eating it too by also going "BUT WERE ALSO GOING TO HAVE BLITZ HAVE SEX WITH THE GUY WHO JUST VIOLATED MOXXIE IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR! Because gay men only want one thing, and that's sex and control over other people! Love? Actually love where no alterior motive from a gay man? What's that? Never heard of it! So here's someone crying about having been assaulted while you're supposed to laugh at the fact that his abuser is having sex with another of his abusers off screen!"

-and having ANOTHER cake by going "It was just a plan, he didnt actually do this for alterior motives (psst. yes he did, yes he fucking did.), Blitz just wanted to help! It's not like he could have just snuck into the car and did this in a way that didnt involve traumatizing you further as "comedic effect! Because that's not hypocritical and more like "I need you to not get hurt for the job!" than "I want to save you because I love you!"" and ANOTHER cake by going "Homosexual men can love too- OH WAIT! Not really because it's only when they're being "tamed" by a woman! Otherwise they're sexual predators waiting to prowl on innocent bi twinks with wives! So we basically only want them to be straight, but made them bi to cover up the fact that we only use our gay man in the show to be predators or fetishized one way or another!-and use the fact that they're bi as an excuse to sexualize the male attracted part of them or demonize it while having the "true love!" be with a girl! Because really- we wanted them to be straight, but made them bi at the last second to cover up our own internalized homophobia with gay men! Oh no, hide your children and women the gay men are comi- oh WAIT! I mean.... HOMOPHOBIA BAED GAY AND BISEXUAL ARE NOT THE SAME WE'RE PROGRESSIVE AND GOOD PEOPLE WE SWEA-"

I know ive said this before, but this episode, forced gay/mlm marriage and all, really felt like I was looking at "gay hate" art from a homophobe. It's just gives gross feelings all around. It literally had not just a homophobe spewing hate, but the episode itself being homophobic by having the only mlm marraige in the show be a forced one covered in dildos (how nice... /s) and then have the man he's forced to marry be a sex predator that his wife must save him from. Again- how the hell did Vivziepop read her own script and not find this entire premise to be homophobic?! HOW?! Again, look at the contrast, and try to tell me, to my face, that this does "NOT!" feel homophobic to you in any shape or form.

Literally, this entire scene was two gay men who sa'ed this bisexual man, who has a wife, having sex next door and traumatizing the man who has a wife because "HUR DUR MALE PREFERENCE BAAAAED!" while the bisexual man cries about being forced to marry a man while looking at pictures of his wife and crying about how he's going to be forced to marry a "sex predator" gay male stereotype that his "loving wife" will save him from, and oh yeah, the episode is about how the bi man being sa'ed and abused is wrong and how murder is "so terrible to do!" while the writers laugh at him being abused everywhere else and HB is about murder!

Again- read this out loud, and tell me how it makes you feel. Because for me, this felt like one of the the most homophobic things that I have ever summarized- and that's really saying something.

In summary: The creators are hypocrites, have internalized homophobia, and this entire episode honestly should have never existed- it's that bad and contridicts Moxxie's entire arcs with how he's supposed to be "more of a man!" but at the same time "be proud of being feminine except NOT REALLY-" So actually, everything with this show contridicts itself now that I think about it...

Also just to respond to this comment real quick: That's nice and all, until you realize that the entire episode was doing the exact thing you claimed it "wasnt" doing. Also "all gay men" you know what "gay" means? "Gay" means to be attracted to the same sex, it can be used in different contexts, same with how the entire community coined what was once considered as the "gay" flag. As the definition literally reads: "Gay men are male homosexuals. Some bisexual and homoromantic men may also dually identify as gay, and a number of young gay men also identify as queer." so if anything, saying "You're not gay, you're bi!" or "You're not gay, you're pan! You cant call yourself or other people gay, even a fictional character, if they're pan!" unintentionally erases the many people in the world who still say both things to describe themselves. It's the same as how not everyone who's lgbtq+ calls themselves "queer" yet lots of people call us "queer" anyway. So calling the fact that as someone who calls myself "gay", that "YOU'RE QUEERING "WRONG!" YOU CANT CALL A HOMOSEXUAL PERSON "GAY AND CAN ONLY DO THAT IF ITS A MAN WHO JUST LIKES MEN!" is queer gatekeeping as hell. Hell, the episode tried to do this kind of gatekeeping too, which makes no sense, and if they wanted to present this in a way that didnt intentionally erase the fact that a bisexual person can call themself "gay" they could have just had the balls/vag to have Crim call Moxxie a "f^ggot", you know... an actually homophobic term? Because I see what they were trying to do with Crim (like say "Not every homosexual person is the same we have different labels!") but the way it was executed felt more like "Im not gay! Im bisexual!" as in "you cant CALL me gay in any context because im bisexual!" which felt very weird to me as someone who's bi. The episode and how it presents gay/homosexual men in such a fetishized, looked down upon, or dehumanized way doesnt make this any better.

[mrsmarymorstan]

no wait i want to hear ur thoughts on the my next life as a villainess queers... personally im leaning towards yuri bait but i could be convinced otherwise

This is gonna be steam of consciousness rather than actual thoughts because I need a nap. But essentially I feel as though whilst the fact that there are multiple female love interests whose love for Catarina is presented as being on pa with that of the boys, the fact that the boys have had more character and relationship development with Catarina does make it feel as though there is a certain amount of heteronormativity in progress.

We see declarations of love and affection from both male and female, but in terms of kissing and explicit romance we've only seen it from the boys. Which has also ALWAYS been non-consensual, so in many ways I'm HAPPY that Catarina has not been forced to experience that from any of the girls but regardless when 3/3 kisses have been from boys then one needs to start to debate whether the series is just queer bait.

It's interesting because we KNOW that the society Catarina lives in does have at least SOME tolerance towards same sex couples since she was able to find queer stories suitable for pre-teens in just the local bookshops. However at the same time, we only ever see M/F couples surrounding them! None of her fellow pupils have same-sex parents. We don't see same-sex couples wondering about. We don't have any evidence that same-sex couples exist outside of the world of fiction!

We've also not had a "But I'm a Girl?!" moment either which, on the one hand, I'm grateful for because I don't want these girls to have any ounce of heteronormativity. I want them to just fully accept their love for Catarina right away and not view it as something that needs questioning like that. However, at the same time, "But I'm a girl?!" Is SUCH a Yuri Trope that to NOT have it feels as though they're actively avoiding being seen as a Yuri series?

There's also the Yuri Manga Anthology spin off to be considered. It's advertised as being a series of Yuri side stories from the canon, but when you read it there's not much to them? They're fun enough, and obviously cannot go further than the canon does, however they don't feel especially YURI? The girls don't have any big internal confessions or draw hearts around their names or contemplate getting married. It's just... more the same.

Don't get me wrong! I think the series is a LOT of fun, and it's great to see a Bisexual Reverse Harem! It's also good to see that there isn't the same level of blatent homophobia/fetishization that you get with some of these series. Or at least in the past-- re-watching something like Ouran can be kinda YIKES at times.

So yeah, on the whole whilst it definitely presents us with some level of queer representation and content, the series' inability to commit to the female love interests in the same way it does the male ones means that -- to my mind -- it skews more towards Yuri Queer Bait than anything else.

Now this MIGHT be different in the manga and light novels! But I have only read the Yuri Anthology and seen the anime. So only have that to go off of.

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

Oversight

This is Part 3 of the Magnetic Attraction series. 

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Content Warnings: Fantastic Racism, Internalized Homophobia, Suggestive Content, Mild Language, Canon-Typical Violence.

Summary: Rev receives some friendly advice from Tech after a mistake of his is brought to attention. Desperate to prove that he took Tech’s words to heart, he seeks the aid of his other friends to improve himself before the evening is over.

Unfortunately, he missed the most crucial piece of advice that Tech tried to convey.

Word Count: 27,277

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Link to Chapter on Ao3)

~

Chapter 5

Word Count: 4941

~

With a building as large as the Loonatics’ HQ on Blanc, one might expect it to take a while to find a person who has the ability to traverse anywhere in the base in an instant. Slam, however, had a guess as to where Rev might have gone and followed his gut. 

Sure enough, as soon as he turned the corner into the hallway connecting their rooms, he saw a pajama-clad roadrunner dash out of his room and toss a mound of feminine clothes in front of Ace’s door, before dashing right back. 

Taking a breath, Slam made his way over. 

Meanwhile, Rev simply let himself fall face-first onto his bed, not minding the confetti of post-its it kicked up or the ones still stuck to the sheets. The paper-riddled pillow swallowed up Rev’s anxious whine and following weary moan. 

A deep knock sounded at the door, forcing a groan to follow all of Rev’s displeased noises. 

Within a second he was at the door, opening it to see the person he knew was there. 

“Hey Slam,” he sighed. “Look I don’t know why you followed me here but whatever reason it is I’m sure it’s pointless. Every single thing I’ve done today was a failure and Tech is probably going to be looking down on me for the rest of our lives. So maybe you should just go because there’s nothing you can do that’ll have a single chance of fixing my monumental landslide of screw-ups before Tech chews me out for everything.” 

Grunting, Slam pointed sharply down the hall, back in the direction Rev was running from. 

“Are you seriously trying to get me to go talk to him?! Why? So I can expedite my one-way ticket to losing my best friend? Absolutely not! I’m just gonna lock myself in my room for as long as I can pretending like everything’s fine until an emergency or the threat of starvation pulls me out.” 

As Rev began pacing at the side of his bed, Slam let himself in. He grimaced at how many sticky notes coated every inch of the room. 

“I mean, maybe if I’m quick about it I can channel the security feed onto my personal computer to monitor Tech’s position in the base so I can sneak around to grab food every once in a while. That would require some rewiring which I’m not very good at but maybe if I quickly do some research I can learn how to do it and complete the installation before any sort of unavoidable circumstances forces me to come into contact with him.” 

Slam picked up a sticky note, his face shifting into a grimace as he read it. 

“But who knows how long I’ll actually be able to avoid him? Surely he wouldn’t cut off our friendship in the middle of a mission, right? So if I can just put off any conversations while on missions and channel the camera feeds into my room I’ll never have to acknowledge that I’ve screwed everything up. Yeah. That’s a plan. Right?” 

Flicking the note off his finger, Slam stared at him flatly. 

“What?! It’s not like I have any better options!” 

In three smooth steps and a swift swipe, Rev was under Slam’s arm being carried like luggage. 

“Hey! Let me go! What are you doing?! I need to stay locked in my room otherwise none of my plans will-…” 

Now in the hallway, Rev saw Lexi’s door closing. Meanwhile, Ace strained as he bent over to grab the clothes at his doorstep. “Ugh, come on Duck,” he uttered to himself. “You know this is dry clean only.” After picking up the clothes with a pained grunt, he stepped inside. 

Rev didn’t dare look in the direction of Tech’s room, instead, he continued his attempt at flailing out of Slam’s grasp. 

Effortlessly, Slam turned and took a few more steps toward the hall’s entrance.

While his efforts were futile, Rev wouldn’t stop. 

That was, until he heard Tech’s confused voice. 

“Uh… hi, Slam? And… Rev?” 

Slam used his free hand to grab Rev’s shirt collar like the scruff of a cat and set him in front of Tech. Instead of immediately letting go, he reached for Tech’s wrist and pulled it towards Rev’s, letting go once Tech got the memo to hold on. 

He nodded with finality before heading to his room. 

Rev’s first instinct, of course, was to run away. He twitched with the urge, but Tech’s firm grasp on his wrist meant he’d just be pulling the person he wanted to run from along for the ride. 

“Well, it seems like he wants us to talk,” Tech said, watching Slam’s door close. 

“Haha… Yeah…” 

Returning his focus, he looked Rev up and down. “Wou-”

“Tech I’m really sorry! You were really scared when I was in danger and you were shaking and I’ve never actually seen you so scared and it was all my fault so I’m really really sorry about forcing you through all that when you didn’t deserve it and…” He looked away. “I’m sorry…” 

Taking a deep breath, Tech ran his free hand over his ears. “Can we speak somewhere else? Preferably somewhere more private?” Tech looked past him, pursing his lips. “How about your room?” 

Rev laughed nervously. “W-Why there? I mean we’re closer to your room so it’d probably be more convenient to…” The insistent look Tech was giving him forced his reply. “Okay…” 

With a nod, Tech led him to the next door over. His door. 

Sighing, Rev let him in. 

It was at that moment Rev truly realized the terrible state of his room. He couldn’t bear to see what Tech thought, so he just stared off into a colorful corner. 

“Oh…” Tech said. “This is… worse than my lab. Much worse…” 

“I wasn’t expecting you to ever come in here…” 

“Yeah. I could’ve guessed.” 

Rev heard Tech take a step toward him and quickly stepped further into his room, stopping beside his bed. “If I knew you’d be visiting I’d have cleaned it up,” he said. “But you know, when it’s just you, why clean your room right? It’s not like you need to impress yourself.” 

The sigh Rev heard cut right through his chest. 

“Look, I talked to Lexi and Ace. I know you’ve been trying to improve your confidence since we talked earlier.” 

He covered his face.

“It feels like what I said didn’t really get through to you.”

His throat tightened. 

“Rev, I told you to have some confidence in yourself because you were already on the right track. I specifically wanted you to relax, and from what I’ve heard, you’ve been doing the exact opposite from the second our conversation ended.”

With a whine, Rev backed himself into his bed, stumbling onto it after which he quickly pulled his knees up and hugged them. 

“Sorry,” he meekly apologized. 

Tech sighed, bending down and picking a patch of sticky notes off of Rev’s bed until he could sit on it as well, more comfortably than Rev likely was.

“I also told you not to make things awkward, and hearing the lengths you went to in an effort to impress me after I told you to relax… is pretty unsettling.” 

“Oh…” Rev swallowed thickly, curling up a little tighter. “So everything I did… was pointless. I put myself through increasingly embarrassing and dangerous situations until you got involved and thought I got hurt…” 

“That’s a pretty negative way of looking at it, though, not entirely wrong…” 

Rev fell onto his side, letting out a shuddering breath. 

“I just wanted to prove that I cared about you and was listening to what you had to say, but obviously I wasn’t because if I just followed the incredibly easy advice you gave me, none of this would have happened…” 

“You didn’t have to go out of your way to prove anything, Rev. Just take a few more seconds to think about whatever advice I give you next time, okay?” 

He just turned onto his side, facing away from Tech. “Look, it’s late. Maybe-” His voice cracked, forcing him to clear his throat. “Maybe you should just go. I’ll probably just find another dumb way to hurt you again if you don’t.”

“It’s really not that big a deal.” 

“Just… Just go…” His voice came out forced. “I’ve been a pretty… awful friend today. Let alone a best friend or… anything else. You should just get some rest or something… take a break from… dealing with me…” 

“Seriously, it’s fine. I promise.” Tech waited a moment, but didn’t get a reply. “Rev?”

Silence followed, leaving Tech awkwardly sitting on Rev’s bed in his room plastered in sticky notes. 

Despite the uncomfortable atmosphere, he didn’t feel right just letting Rev stew in his own misery. He tried to think of some solution, looking around as though an answer would pop out at him among a sea of colorful paper. 

Actually…

Now that he was taking a moment, he noticed a few things weren’t covered. Rev’s PC monitor, of course, discounting the few notes stuck to the sides. Obviously the electrical outlets. And… the pictures on the walls and shelves. 

Tech focused on them, noting that some of the pictures had post-its on them… but they never covered the areas where Rev’s friends and family were. Rev himself was covered in them, though, leaving Tech to wonder if he should be concerned about that. Then, on Rev’s nightstand, he noticed a picture he was very familiar with. 

It was just him and Rev, standing side by side in front of a simulated podium and crowd, celebrating their joint effort in rebuilding the Virtual Trainer in Blanc HQ. Of course, right after the picture, Rev just had to make a joke about all the VR games he’d play in it. Normally, Tech would have gone on a big rant about it not being a toy and how misusing it was disrespectful and yadda yadda… but he didn’t. Rev had obviously made the joke to provoke him, as by that point, they’d gotten in the habit of arguing just for the thrill of it… but Tech just couldn’t muster the energy to even fake being mad at him. With how much help Rev had given on the project, cutting the time to completion in half, Tech was too happy to refuse any use Rev could think up for it. And the look Rev gave him when he replied to his joke with ‘have fun’, that surprise and excitement… it left him with a feeling that would only continue to bloom from then on. 

Warmth filled Tech as he recalled the memory, an experience he felt often thanks to a copy of the photo he had hanging above his work computer. Then, that warmth died out and curled dully in his gut, as Tech looked again at the photo and saw that Rev was covered in two sticky notes. 

It didn’t sit right with him to see such an important photo, at least to him, tainted like that. 

Tech got up from the bed, hearing the faintest shuttering gasp from his friend as he stood. There was no doubt Rev would brush off his concern, so Tech elected to continue toward the nightstand. He leaned down to better read whatever thing Rev thought was important enough to not only take note of, but cover such a wonderful moment with. 

‘For some reason, he doesn’t hate you,’ the first line said, a scribbled arrow pointing toward Tech in the picture beside it. ‘Don’t do anything that could make him change his mind.’

With concern growing, Tech continued onto the second note.

‘He gave you a second chance. Don’t waste it. Don’t screw up again.’

A twinge of unease hit Tech as he read the final, repeatedly underlined command. 

‘Don’t be a failure.’

Without a second thought, he plucked the two notes off of the picture. Looking over them again just left him with the same emotions, so he stepped over and sat on the bed. 

“Rev,” he spoke softly. “What are these?” 

Thankfully, Rev actually pulled up his head to look at whatever Tech had asked him about. Upon seeing what he had, however, he let out a gasp and rushed to snatch them away. 

Tech, of course, made sure that didn’t happen. 

Given that Rev couldn’t reach the notes without leaning over Tech or getting up from the bed, he simply whined and sat into a defeated slouch. 

“You weren’t supposed to see those…” Rev mumbled.

“I wasn’t supposed to see your entire room.” 

“…You really weren’t supposed to see those…”

Tech sighed. “Why did you write them?” 

Folding his arms, Rev turned away. “Just a reminder… to not ruin our friendship.” 

“You’re not going to ruin our friendship, Rev. Not by accident, at least. I’ve already told you that I can handle you making a few mistakes.”

Rev didn’t respond. 

“Speaking of mistakes,” Tech said, “earlier I told you to treat any accidental minor offense you cause me like any other mistake, and well…” He rubbed his neck. “Maybe that was a mistake on my part. Though, I don’t think I can be blamed for lacking the foresight on that one.” 

The strange admission caught Rev’s attention, making him glance at Tech briefly before averting his gaze and going quiet again. 

“As it turns out, you don’t really handle any mistakes very well. At least, not the ones you made today while taking advice from Lexi and Ace.” 

“I… I usually know enough before trying things that I don’t make any mistakes…” 

“And I’m guessing that this,” Tech gestured vaguely to the room, “isn’t a one-off thing you’ve done just for me.” 

“To this… extent… no. But… yeah. I usually keep it all on my PC… but when I really need to memorize things… this is how I do it…” 

“Hm.” Tech glanced down at the notes. “Look, I’m not an expert or anything, but this just… doesn’t seem right.”

Rev flinched, huddling into himself. 

“Clearly, you really don’t like to let people down, and that’s normal. But, freaking out over small mistakes, researching for days in an attempt to avoid them… it doesn’t take a genius to know that’s not healthy.” Looking around, his eyes landed on more photos, some showing Rev’s friends. His family. 

His father. 

The memory of Rev groveling at his feet, pleading for help in impressing Ralph Runner, flashed in his head. “A year ago, we weren’t all that close to each other. We’d break out into fights over who’s smarter, or who should lead projects, or who should’ve caught certain errors. Yet… when your dad came around…” 

Rev let out a faint whine. 

“…you still begged me for help. You cared more about getting his approval,” Tech glanced at the notes again, “about not being a failure… than you cared about being better than me.” 

“You-” his voice wavered. “You should just leave.” 

“Rev.” Tech tried to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but Rev shrugged it off. “Look, if there’s anything you wanna talk about, I’m still your best friend, alright?” 

“I’m fine,” he croaked.

Tech reached out again. “It’s just… I care about you, Rev… just like how you care about me. If you need anything, I’m here. Don’t be embarrassed to ask.” 

When Tech’s fingers brushed Rev’s shoulder again, he let out a gasping sob.

“Rev…” 

“This is pathetic! You told me not to cry and- ARGH!” He slammed his fists into the mattress. “I can’t even do that!” Wiping his eyes, he let out a broken sigh. “I tried so hard… at everything… and yet… I’m still a…” 

“Rev.” Tech gently rubbed his shoulder in what he hoped was a soothing fashion. “You didn’t fail at anything, and you aren’t and can’t be a failure, okay?” He sighed. “And I never even told you not to cry. I said I didn’t want you to feel like crying whenever I corrected you on something… because something that small shouldn’t make you so upset.” His hand traveled to Rev’s back, moving gently up and down. “And I’m assuming the reason you’re crying… isn’t related to that. It’s something more… personal.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Rev muttered, still wiping away tears. 

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little support.” 

"I don't need support."

"You can talk to me, Rev."

"No." 

"I won't judge. I promise."

“Stop!”

Tech flinched back, noticing the sharp anger and fear in Rev’s eyes. If Rev ever planned on explaining things, Tech figured that it certainly wouldn’t be any time tonight. 

“Sorry,” he said, placing both hands on his lap. “I shouldn’t have pried.” 

“It’s… You’re just trying to help me… even if I don’t need any help.” 

Tech strongly disagreed, but he didn’t want to argue. Besides, it was really late. Now probably wasn’t the best time to be having any sort of personal discussion anyway. 

He yawned, then looked around at the state of Rev’s room again.

“How about we hang out in the lounge for a little while? It’s a bit more… cheery than it is in here.” 

Rev sniffed. “I guess…” 

“We can just take a moment to relax before going to bed, alright?” 

With a shuddered breath, Rev nodded. “Okay.” 

Tech got up, frowning at the notes he was still holding before slipping them into a pocket on his shorts. It was then that he noticed the state of his shirt. 

Behind him, he could hear Rev slowly pulling himself off the bed. 

“Hey, I’m going to stop by my room to change into my pajamas. You can take a minute to cool off and meet me at the end of the sleeping quarters when you’re ready, alright?”

“Alright…” 

It felt strange to leave Rev alone, but the smell of ketchup and the cool air penetrating his torn shirt were starting to bother him. He had to trust that Rev would listen to him and not do something rash like lock himself away. 

“See you in a minute.” 

And with that, he made his way back into the hall. 

~

Tech sighed, looking down the hall toward Rev’s room. It had been a few minutes, and he was starting to worry that Rev might have decided not to show. 

Then, giving him some relief, Rev finally emerged from his room and walked over. 

“Hey Rev,” Tech greeted softly. 

“Hey Tech,” Rev wearily greeted back. 

After a brief moment of silence, Tech simply said, “let’s go.” 

They walked down the halls, not a word being spoken between them. It wasn’t quiet, however, as they could hear the TV around the corner. 

Sure enough, the flash of the TV screen at the other end of the moonlit hall became visible at the same time that the rest of the lounge did. 

“Guess nobody decided to turn off the TV,” Tech said. “I’ll handle that once we’re ready to go to bed.” 

Tech took the far corner of the couch opposite the TV. On the coffee table, he could see the burnt bulb from earlier and the TV remote, the latter of which he grabbed. 

As Rev slowly sat down on the middle cushion beside Tech, he noticed that the back of the remote was lying on the table at about the same time that Tech did. 

“Hm. I guess this is the remote Duck wanted the batteries for.” 

“They’re probably done charging by now so I could run over and grab them if you like. Alternatively, I could also get up and change the channel myself.”

“Well, we should probably check what’s on first.” 

They both looked at the TV, seeing zoomed-in footage of a sleeping tiger before a cut shot to a confused zookeeper being interviewed by a reporter. 

“I don’t know, I can’t explain that either. One second I was looking away, and then poof, the tiger is back the next.”

“Any theories or opinions on what might have happened?” 

“I have no ideas. I’m just happy she’s back, and I hope she doesn’t disappear like that again…” 

“And there you have it folks. It seems like this mystery may remain a mystery for quite some time. But, at the very least, we got a happy ending out of it. This is Channel 4 News, and this conveniently concludes our conservation special.”

Tech sighed, wiping a hand down his face. “I feel like Duck shouldn’t have gotten away with that so easily…” 

“I don’t even understand how he managed to pull it off in the first place. Maybe I’m just too tired to think up a list of possible scenarios…” 

“Just don’t bother. Kick back and relax; That’s what we came here for.” 

“Oh, um, yeah. Alright.” 

Rev leaned back on the couch, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. Something was brushing up against his foot, so he craned his neck to see what it was. 

Turned out, it was a lightbulb. Likely the same one he had given Tech a little earlier. 

“Say… did you figure out the whole electricity thing?” 

Tech’s ears drooped, as well as the rest of his posture. “Well… no… You had a great suggestion… but maybe I should just throw in the towel. Surely I would have managed to produce some sort of power by now if I was capable of it… but I guess I’m just not…” 

“That’s not true! I saw you getting that lightbulb to glow at least twice today, and the second time even caused it to blow out!”

“It… Huh…” His brow scrunched in thought. “I think I can recall when the bulb blew… but you saw it glow before then?” 

“Yeah! Right after I flew into you and-” Rev faltered, pulling his legs off the table as his face heated up. “You know, we were talking, and it glowed after I mentioned dancing with you…” 

“Ah, um…” Tech’s cheeks were suddenly showing a hint of red as well. “Really? That’s… interesting.” Clearing his throat, he looked away. “I’ll have to compare what those two experiences have in common, and maybe that’ll bring me closer to achieving my goal.” 

The TV filled the air with sponsored praises for some random product they’d never use. Despite this, it played out completely before either of them spoke another word. 

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Rev said, voice assured but weary. “You’re the smartest person in the universe after all.”

Tech’s attention slowly turned to him, then down to his hand casually resting on the space between them.

“Thanks… it does mean a lot to know you at least think I can pull it off.” 

The light brush of something against his hand briefly jolted Rev’s mind away from the fog of sleep he was sinking into. He looked for an explanation and found that Tech had ‘casually’ left his hand, palm up, right next to his own. Of course, when Rev searched for Tech’s face, he was looking away again.

Surely, Rev thought, that this was an invitation to hold his hand… right? It was right there. It was like Tech was nudging him to just take hold. 

Though… at the moment… he didn’t really feel like he deserved it.

Rev looked at Tech again, noticing his stiff posture and the barest hint at a hopeful smile. 

…Maybe Rev didn’t exactly feel like he deserved to hold his hand, but Tech definitely deserved to have his hand held. 

“I know you can do it, Tech. You just have to keep trying.” 

After a bit of hesitation, he gingerly laid his hand on top of Tech’s. 

A delighted squeak filled the air, followed by a deeper, more manly cough. 

“I will… Uh, ‘keep trying,’ I mean.” 

Their fingers entwined, and Rev felt like the air was charged with emotion… or maybe he was just getting really tired. 

It took a second longer than it should have for Rev to remember that Tech had said something. 

“That’s good- great!” 

Tech chuckled, his posture loosening as he sat back on the couch. 

“Let’s just relax alright?” He yawned. “We can worry about whatever some other time. When we're more awake.” 

“Yeah… That’s probably a good idea…” 

Following his lead, Rev let himself kick back, feet up on the coffee table and back against the cushion. He would have started watching TV, but Tech was still occupying the last part of his mind that hadn’t drifted off. 

Though he’d blame the sleep taking over, Rev decided that Tech’s shoulder seemed like the perfect place to rest his head. As it turned out, he was completely right.

The soft weight against his side didn’t go unnoticed. Tech felt warmth swirling in his chest as he carefully looked down to see Rev sleeping peacefully. 

He didn’t intend for either of them to actually sleep out in the lounge, but he wasn’t about to complain to Rev about it. 

Letting out another yawn, Tech faintly questioned if he should carry Rev back to his room. Considering that his bed was littered with sticky notes, it didn’t seem like the best idea; He’d have to either wake Rev up or leave him on an uncomfortable bed. 

The room seemed to be getting darker, then Tech realized he was just closing his eyes. 

Somewhere in his head, he might’ve had reservations about letting himself fall asleep there, especially with Rev unwittingly falling asleep against him… But wherever those reservations were, they weren’t strong enough to push through the fog. 

Another sponsor played, something about apple juice, and Tech grabbed the remote to shut it off. It wasn’t until he was pointing it at the TV that he remembered it didn’t have batteries. 

A twinge of annoyance hit him. If only he had figured out the whole electricity thing already. Even if Rev knew he could do it, Tech still wasn’t sure what could trigger that power. 

Wait…

Tech smiled tiredly, wanting to laugh but not having the energy. 

Looking back, it was entirely too obvious to him what he was missing after sitting in his lab, failure after failure getting him down… and then gained when the person he cared for the most promised to share quality time with him once he succeeded. 

He let his lowermost fingers slide down the remote, slipping into the battery slot. The angle was awkward, but that didn’t matter. With his thumb he held down the power button, and did what Rev knew he could. 

And now, he knew he could too. 

“Thank you,” he whispered to Rev, before the soft blanket of darkness swept over the room and invited him to join his friend in sleep. 

~

Before Lexi had opened her bedroom door, it seemed like a regular morning. She had done her normal routine and was ready to bound over to the kitchen to get coffee started for the less morning-inclined teammates… when something sounded slightly off. 

The sun was barely up, so everyone else was likely in their room catching ‘Z’s, but she could hear two people breathing somewhere in HQ. Curious, she stepped down the hall. 

Her mind filled with questions of who it could be. Duck, Slam, and Tech were the first to be eliminated, as Duck could sleep through an earthquake, Slam would need one to wake him up, and Tech would probably yell at it for disturbing him before he could get some coffee. Ace was much more likely to be up this early, but given how badly he said his back ached after hitting the basement wall yesterday, Lexi bet he’d take a bit longer to get up than usual. 

Rev… was in the ‘definitely’ category on the ‘people who would be up right now’ list. It probably wasn’t great that this was the case, but Lexi couldn’t blame him for getting frustrated after the fourth or fifth time hitting the floor while trying to sleep. But, if he was up, then she should be able to smell coffee by now, as he’d normally get it brewing if she hadn’t already. 

Lexi listened in again, and noticed that the two people she heard had very relaxed heartbeats… and their breathing was pretty relaxed too. They were both definitely asleep, explaining the lack of coffee scent despite multiple people being out of their rooms. 

Now she was really curious. As far as she knew, nobody in HQ was particularly fond of sleeping anywhere but inside their custom-tailored rooms, so there must be an interesting story attached to whoever she finds napping out… in the lounge, she was now sure of. It wasn’t far off, so this wouldn’t stay a mystery for very long. 

She stepped around the corner and…

…slapped her hands over her mouth so she wouldn’t squeal at the adorable sight. 

Tucked into the center couch, Rev was laying on top of Tech, beak nuzzled against his shoulder. Tech, meanwhile, had his arms wrapped snugly around Rev’s back, keeping him locked firmly in his embrace. Both of them wore peaceful expressions in their sleep, really selling the cozy atmosphere. 

At that moment, Lexi questioned if she wanted to wait a bit before starting the coffee. Both of them seemed to be so comfortable, and she didn’t want anything to wake them up. 

Still, if Ace got up with a sore back and didn’t have coffee ready, he probably wouldn’t feel too great about it. 

Quietly, Lexi stepped away. The two of them could enjoy their moment of peace for now… but she was definitely teasing Rev about this later. 

~

Link to Magnetic Attraction Part 4 ->

[kazimortem]

For the ask game!

Furuta ♥️ — 2, 7, 14, 15

2. Give us a thought about the series you would like an excuse to share.

I have Opinions of Furuta and his psychology and I very deeply love his character and discussing my own interpretations of him. Something I said in my server awhile ago:

Moving on, none of that excuses his actions or makes him a "poor little baby" in my mind, but it provides what feels like a plausible explanation to me. I think his relationship with Rize was meant to demonstrate just how fucked the Washuu are and what attitudes can be instilled in them at a young age.

Furuta is the most extreme example of it and I only think he descended so far into psychosis because unlike Arima or Hairu, he was pushed to the sidelines and ignored and forgotten entirely by the Washuu. No one paid him any mind or acknowledged his existence or deemed him at all important other than Rize did as children—and even she ended up abandoning him because she wanted to be her own person and let go of childish fantasies when she learned what her "purpose" was.

I also like to think Furuta is queer in some way even though there isn't much compelling evidence suggesting it. He talks to Eto in a very objectifying, demeaning way that, in my opinion, comes off as him trying to convince himself he's attracted to women rather than the audience. The Washuu also have very strict ideas of masculinity and heteronormativity that I'm sure were instilled in Furuta and, if he had feelings that suggested otherwise, they likely would have manifested into internalized homophobia or transphobia—further driving his obsessive attachment to Rize as "proof" he likes women.

7. Favorite piece of TG fan content you’ve seen recently?

I haven't made much content of Furuta in awhile ! But I really like this edit I made of him.

14. Song you associate with (character/ship)

I have a playlist for Furuta here! But my favorite songs I associate with him are:

Creep // Radiohead

Honey I'm Home // Ghost and Pals

Breezeblocks // Alt-J

Runs in the Family // Amanda Palmer

Monster // Lady Gaga

15. Favorite/one of your favorite manga panels.

[ekho-ekho-ekho]

there aren’t many perks to working in the indy publishing world, I’ll be honest. it’s relentlessly exhausting, damn-near thankless, and the pay is shit. but one perk—one of the few—is that I have no problems whatsoever enjoying a piece of literature while also hating the author deeply. like, none.

 I can love a book and hate its author in the same way a kindergarten teacher can love their students and hate the students’ parents. authors will pour all their insecurities and repressions and cognitive dissonance and petty little bitter indignant thoughts into a story, andr eally think they’ve masked the truth under a dozen layers of metaphor... failing to realize that all dozen layers are completely transparent. and that’s assuming they’re remotely aware that this is what they’ve done. so then, it’s up to some poor hapless editor to fix as much of that shit as they can without the author getting defensive on a personal level. because the more defensive the author gets, the more they dig their heels in, and the more ground that editor has to concede, and the more the book suffers for it.

but! tragically! even bad authors—even the thinnest-skinned, least self-critical people on the planet—will sometimes come up with really fun and cool concepts! concepts that you know could have grown into much better and cooler stories, if only the creator wasn’t so determined to get in their own way. when my friends in childcare lament the influence of garbage parents on their otherwise sweet, clever, considerate students, I hear in them the same despair I feel when I think of Harry Potter, or Star Wars, Lovecraft’s entire body of work—of all the stories that could have been so much more in the hands of an author with some modicum of self-awareness.

which, incidentally, is why I love transformative fanworks so much! because you get to see those concepts turned over into the hands of someone who gives a shit. someone who sees the potential of these stories to speak comfort to the outcast. you get to see how much more nuanced the themes of prejudice in Harry Potter could have been if Hermione had been a Black girl, or if Harry had Indian ancestry, or if the worldbuilding elements like house elves and goblins had been handled in holy shit literally any other way. you get to see Lovecraft’s fear of the Other reinvented by the same minority groups Lovecraft himself hated so viscerally. you get to see queer readers of Dracula lovingly melt down all the internalized homophobia in the text and re-cast it into a young woman’s quest to avenge her murdered girlfriend.

I know some people draw clear distinctions between criticizing a dead author vs a living one, but to me, there are only two that matter. first being that, when I criticize a living author, there’s a chance—however slim—that they might actually hear me (in which case, good); and the second being the responsibility to not financially support a living author—which I personally don’t find difficult because, on top of being a fundamentally spiteful person, it’s not like I have disposable income anyway.

beyond those two points, I don’t see much value in not interacting with a story you enjoy just because the author fucking sucks—especially if you’re already someone who engages with stories critically. by “critically,” I don’t mean you spend hours writing long, meta essays about racist implications of, idk, how slavery is portrayed in the Star Wars movies (although I do love me some metatextual analysis!). but if you consume a piece of media and your first impulse is, “Man, I really loved the central idea, but it’d be so cool if that one character had been explored with more nuance—if that one plot point was given more emphasis—if this one arc had been done just a little differently....”—in other words, if you don’t consume fiction as a passive vessel—that’s already critical engagement.

and I guess this is why I find it worrying, the way people draw hard lines between enjoying a problematic author’s works if they’re living vs dead. like enjoying Dracula despite its many harmful themes is automatically more okay than enjoying shit like Harry Potter—even if one enjoys both from the same critical angle—simply because Bram Stoker’s dead and Joanne (derogatory) isn’t. that’s why it worries me to see people fretting over whether or not they’re “allowed” to enjoy problematic contemporary art. not financially support it. not defend it. but wringing their hands over the moral implications of engaging in any way, be it by making fanart, or reading fanfic, or even just revisiting a book they already own.

so, from someone who works with authors for a living: yeah, it’s completely possible to enjoy a work of fiction while hating its author. like if you’re truly worried, then you shouldn’t support the work financially. if you’re truly worried, then you shouldn’t defend the bad to uphold the good. but if you’re truly worried that just enjoying the story makes you a bad person? then I can only assume you’ve not met many published authors. like, sorry, but if you feel like you have to like a writer personally in order to enjoy their work, I have bad news, because a good hmm ~70% of authors—even the ones who aren’t raging bigots—are some of the most annoying, myopic, whiny, entitled, self-defeating people you will ever meet. because they’re people. they’re not the gods of their little imaginary worlds, whatever they might want to think.

opinions may differ, but far as I’m concerned, a story is only the product of its authors’ mind in the sense that you are a product of your upbringing. it’s a factor of one’s identity, sure, but it’s far from the only thing that makes you who you are.

in fact, I’d go so far as to say that by interacting with problematic fiction—thoughtfully, critically, compassionately, creatively—a reader can shine new light into the shadowy corners of all that a story could have been. and if that new light throws into sharp relief the flaws inherent in the source material? so much the better.