#though last i remember checking they were not-normal as recently as 2021

[girldraki]

god i wish tumblrs search function actually worked since, short of flat out asking cww “did you ever become normal about asexual people”, there’s really no way to verify

[suratan-zir]

long rant, very personal

nothing new honestly, I know y'all are sick of hearing the same lame story over and over again

sorry

You know how sometimes certain sounds, images or even smells can evoke some nostalgic memories from the past? It happens to everyone, right? To me, it doesn't matter if these flashbacks good or bad, it means I'm screwed either way. It's even worse when the memories are happy, because so many things are gone forever and there is no going back.

Recently I've been playing sims, and they were listening to the radio. I forgot that a long time ago I put some of my favorite songs in one of the folders, so the "Pop" station in the game has some real songs along with Simlish ones. I haven't listened to some of those songs in years.

Then that one song started playing, and an entire part of my life flashed before my eyes. I listened to that song a lot while on the road, during my weekly travels from my hometown in Donetsk oblast (where I was born and lived 'till I was 16) to Donetsk city, where my grandmother and other relatives lived, and where I attended some courses before the uni. I also listened to it on the road to another town, where my other grandma and my best girl friend lived, so I visited her every long holiday.

Why all these boring details are significant in any way?

Both intercity bus stations in Donetsk, which used to be my destination, no longer exist. "Zapadnyi" and "Pulitovskyi" they were called. "Zapadnyi" was located near the airport, so it was completely destroyed in battles for Donetsk airport back when russia first invaded us, in 2014. It wasn't even fully finished before being destroyed.

No buses or passengers there anymore.

"Pulitovskyi" station was not that far too, russian militants even blew up the bridge connecting the station with the city. To be honest, even when I lived in Donetsk, I no longer visited that part of the city, it was just too sad.

I know that it's not important on a surface level, all these places are just decorations, it's not the end of the world. But our memories, our lives consist of such decorations, random places on the map. When everything around falls apart and changes so suddenly, it feels weird and disorienting, most of the time I try to avoid direct contact with these changes, but I can't control my memory.

Fast forward to today, I will probably never be able to return to the city that I used to love so much. And my grandma no longer lives in Donetsk, she's "russian" now, along with brainwashing that often comes with such status. You already know it if you for some reason read my posts. She thinks that russia and putin are saving and liberating us here in Ukraine. I no longer call her "grandma" or call her at all, I have her blocked on my phone, our chat deleted. Funny enough, my ex friend also lives in russia now. Or so she was the last time I checked.

My other grandma from the town in Donetsk oblast left the country and is a refugee now. I have so many great memories of that town, if the russians will advance further in the Donbas (which they are trying to do) the town will become another Bakhmut, Vuhledar, etc. This is Mar'inka now, very close to the aforementioned town:

(and yes, this is a russian tank firing at a house, or what's left of it)

There was a town, now it's a lifeless desert.

I don't have that many memories, because I never had too much going on in my life. I know, it's embarrassing. Not only have I never been to other countries, I haven't even traveled much in Ukraine. My whole life until 2021 was in the Donbas region. Even my vacations were there, we didn't have money to travel. Every summer we would go to the Azov sea, which is now completely under the control of russia. What I wouldn't give to be once again on the shore of that godforsaken sea, even though I can now afford something better. I remember its smell and miss it so much. I was 18 when russia first came to my home to tear it apart. I couldn't live normally, I couldn't plan anything, I couldn't even buy furniture for my apartment because I only dreamt about leaving, and it was impossible to bring anything big with us through all the military posts from Donetsk. Years later, when we thought we are about to finally start living, traveling, enjoying everything that was taken from us for so long… yeah, you know the story.

Now life suddenly seems so short, it's passing by and I'm helpless to change anything. I'm so sick of living through this shit. Sick of the russians stealing my youth, my life, our lives, poisoning our memories, ruining everything around us.

I swear, I held it together before that fucking song started playing. I probably shouldn't post this, I have to at least disable reblogging, it's too embarrassing.

[fereldanwench]

so husbando and i checked out of our dragoncon hotel a couple of hours ago and are getting settled back in at home.

this was the first time since our weekend getaway to quebec in 2019 that we had taken a trip together. not like we went far--we were still in the atlanta area, but we left our home and kitties for about 4 days, which was a little nerve-wracking at first. i even bought a camera to check in on the cats, which i never thought i'd do, lmao. (and they were fine.) ((said camera was immediately unplugged and going into my closet now bc these things honestly kind of freak me out.))

we've attended every dragoncon since 2012--we even took the weekend off in 2020 to make the most of the virtual event and try to recapture some of the magic at home, which was surprisingly fun. the 2021 con was weird and a little depressing in hindsight. i probably wouldn't have even gone if i hadn't let my 2020 tickets roll over, but it was very limited (with good reason, of course) and we didn't have a hotel so ubering sucked. (i also got royally screwed on our trip back that saturday when they overcharged me $50 which still makes me rage.)

i wasn't sure if we'd be able to do it this year on account of the job situation (or lack thereof), but i found a room in one of the overflow hotels that wasn't too bad, and we were a little more frugal with the food and drink spending this year. the hotel was a little dingy and kind of far from the main action, but it was better than ubering. it did prevent me from cosplaying because i didn't want to deal with that hike (or the shuttle bus with an erratic schedule) in the atlanta humidity while fighting with a costume, but in recent years i had started to prioritize comfort over cosplay anyway.

i did drink, and the dull, persistent headache i woke up with this morning was a reminder why i quit for over a year, lmao. letting loose was fun, though. finding perches to people-watch and listen to the live performers and banter with strangers while having a beverage was always one of my favorite things to do at the convention.

i didn't really take any pictures other than a few shots of the buildings--not using social media outside of fandom really has pulled me away from the impulse to document every single event in my life and just exist in the moment. i know it sounds like a cliche, but it is really nice. (although i am glad that i have almost a decade's worth of pics from previous dragoncons. something something balance or whatever.)

it was a good weekend all in all and i love having dragoncon as a sort of farewell to summer, but this is probably gonna be the last dragoncon for us, at least for a few years. i remember towards the end of the weekend in 2019 i had started to feel like maybe it was time to take a break, but then 2020 happened and i was grasping to any sense of normality and comfort i could find. i think that kind of pulled me back to seeking a familiar experience.

but it's expensive, it's claimed every labor day weekend for the past decade, and even though it is a very unique convention experience, i feel like i've gotten all i can get from it. my priorities have shifted a lot in the past few years, and i'd rather start putting this money and time to new adventures and experiences that better reflect and nurture that growth.

i'm really grateful that i got to do this for 10 straight years, and i've had some absolutely incredible moments at dragoncon, but yeah. it's just time for something new. 💙

[ukaiknowsbest]

Review: Tamayomi

[will contain spoilers]

Lately I have been pretty bored with the recent developments in Daiya no A and Oofuri. New Shonen anime stuff just don't appeal to me, so I bit the bullet and watched Tamayomi for at least one episode a day.

Like me, people would normally think "HOW TF ARE THEY GOING TO PLAY BASEBALL? AREN'T THEY WEARING SHORTS??? IS THIS JUST FANSERVICE?? OMYGOD"

But I did it. I watched the whole thing. 12 episodes.

And I enjoyed it.

THE SETUP/PLOT

pretty standard fare

Pitcher Yomi Takeda accidentally reunites with her childhood friend who's actually a nationals-level in middle school catcher when they both end up in the same highschool.

School: former powerhouse located in Saitama, now baseball club is almost non-existent. Yomi and a few other will try to revive the team from scratch.

Basically Shin Koshigaya is a brand new team where they struggle to look for new members and majority are first years.

They have to face other stronger teams even when they have a few members and some decent players.

Demographic is SEINEN (like oofuri, last inning, one outs, etc.)

CHARACTERS

Yomi Takeda as Main character and pitcher- skilled, resilient, funny, hardworking, does a lot of research which enabled her to perfect her form and hone her breaking ball. She keeps improving in a good pace too.

Tamaki Yamazaki former childhood friend of Yomi. Is a decent catcher in middle school. A bit well known. Good communicator.

Yoshino - team manager and coach. srsly she is a boss. She's not infallible but she tries her best.

and other decent players with adequate skill

For a sports anime they have decent cast. This is probably the closest we can currently get of a story where the girls are just focused on the sport, do their own strategizing/planning/training. All of them are cute but also serious about what they do.

There's no boys here so there's no talk about het-crushes and other distractions. It's a clamfest babyyyy.

I've seen a little of Major 2 (the one abt the son and his coed team) and I couldn't stand it because it was just slice of life in sportsy undertones.

There is also decent communication among all the players. It's pretty refreshing to watch. The catcher is well rounded and the pitcher is good. Everyone talk things out and there is not a lot of drama.

FANSERVICE

Wearing shorts to a sport that involves a lot of making contact with the ground is just illogical lmao.

Their school uniform skirt is pretty short

A little bit of their manager prodding the thighs of each person she meets but with good reason (she can tell how much muscle/exercise a person does just by a little prodding). It's a trope thing.

That's all. There are no panty shots, unnecessary locker room nudity, boob action, see through sweaty shirts. Most of the cringy things I've seen in other girls sports anime aren't present.

Eventually I even forget that they're wearing shorts or that it impedes their performance. It seems like it doesn't matter much to the characters so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't know if like the hugging or holding hands is considered fanservice. In my experiece we ladies just act like that irl. What they do is nothing out of the ordinary.

REALISM

3/5. They wear shorts and dont tie their hair up. The baseball part seem pretty decent though. The pacing of the story and matches was like watching IRL Koshien. It's all very clinical and straightforward.

Plus they include a lot of interesting baseball stuff which I haven't seen happen in early stages of other shonen anime like: specifically training the pitcher in other positions, showing what fielders yell to each other, letting other relievers start to reserve their ace (ppl can yell DnA did this but remember Tanba was injury boy throughout Act 1).

COMPARISON TO OTHER BASEBALL MANGA

based on technicality Tamayomi is prolly one of the top among baseball anime/manga I have seen.

Last Inning

Oofuri

Tamayomi

Daiya no A

Now don't chase me with pitchforks because of this ranking just yet. The fact that Shin Koshigaya coach's decisions and reasonings for plays and lineups are discussed makes the show at par with Last Inning and Oofuri. (we dont see DnA kataoka talk abt this sht like..ever)

Moreover Tamayomi has similar vibes to Oofuri/Big Windup but less dramatic. I do not think it's good for beginners too (especially with just 12 episodes). You need to have prior baseball knowledge to understand what the characters were doing.

However, this show is probably the most no-fuss baseball anime/manga I have watched. It does not rely on hype like DnA and it also don't have heavy topics like Oofuri and Last Inning. It's not wacky like One Outs and it's not uber slice of life like Cross Game. It's just baseball.

My minor complaint is that they don't give numbers when talking about things like pitching speed tho. It would've been more realistic if actual numbers were dropped XD

ART/ DESIGN/ANIMATION

A.k.a the thing most viewers complain about.

Character design is subpar. Everyone's faces are almost the same. You can tell who's the character not by face but by hair and height. Personally I don't mind this. I don't really look for realism in most things I watch. And I think the hair designs are cool.

Lots of people drop this show because of bad animation. There are shots/scenes where it's like I'm watching fanmade AMV's in nicovideo/youtube from the early 2000's. Pitching motions and Batting motions look like character movements in rpg games.

It's not really a problem for me though. I think it's charming for some reason. I don't mind it. A lot of people do but I'm not them.

CONCLUSION

NGL I wanted more. 12 episodes is too short. I hope a better animation company picks this up. I'm rewatching the whole thing because I enjoyed it a lot. I'll even check out the manga if I have time.

If anyone's interested here's my tamayomi livetweet thread

This is one of the closest thing I could get to what a decent girl sports anime looks like. If the character designs, art, animation and the uniforms were just better this show would have gone pretty far.

Compared to Shonen types of manga this was relaxing to watch, especially before bed. I'd honestly recommend it you wanna watch smth that doesnt involve a lot of feelings and drama but still feel like watching an actual sport.

Girls are fun. Finally.

[personal notes under the cut]

I get that people reading this would think I'm being too optimistic about a show they considered shtty but I kid you not, I dropped Bakuten (boys gymnastic's anime) coz even with it's wonderful animation i thought it was boring af.

I have dropped so many prettily animated shows coz i just cant get into the characters nor the story.

I've also said before in my Two Car review that I am actively avoiding shows with popular VA's. Idk much abt female VA's in anime, therefore watching Tamayomi was the perfect solution for me.

The reason I like tamayomi so much is that it gave me the same feeling of watching Summer Koshien 2021. I just think an anime that made me remember that kind of feeling was cool.

I'll rewatch hanebado next. wish me luck.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA AT JOE YOKOMIZO CHANNEL 4TH FEB TRANSLATION/NOTES 4/4

Joe Yokomizo Channel

Guest: Toshiya (Dir en grey)

Notes before reading: This is the translation/notes of the livestream on Joe’s Niconico channel with Toshiya as a guest last 4th February.  This is part 4. The livestream was one hour and fifty min approx. This part covers the last 20 minutes. The livestream is no longer available at Joe Yokomizo Channel but you can check the translation of the previous parts at my tumblr. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS are appreciated ------------------ (First part here) (Second part here) (Third part here) Joe: That’s it. I’m going to ask you…. They are asking.... how do the other members call you, Toshiya… Toshiya: Mostly….”Toshiya”…. Joe: Toshiya? Toshiya: Yes Joe: Just “Toshiya”. Toshiya: That’s it… maybe sometimes…..they say it in an easy way….it’s not like like they attach anything (suffix) like -kun or -chan to my name….they say it in a normal way…. Joe: “Toshiya”, “Toshiya”…. What ice cream are you recently addicted to? Toshiya: Recently… Joe: That’s the question… Toshiya: Recently….somehow….as I’m lazy… Joe: You are lazy….yes, yes, you said that at the beginning of the program…. Toshiya: As expected….I gained a bit of weight…. Joe: *surprised* It doesn’t look like that at all… Toshiya: Now…..I lost some weight… Joe: You did? Toshiya: I did….so I’m not eating sweet things now… Joe: Now you are not eating sweet things…. Toshiya: Yes Joe: I see…. that’s why he is not eating ice creams recently!..... Toshiya: I don’t… Joe: These kind of questions are a bit harsh but if you have to choose….tsubuan (coarse sweet bean paste) or koshian (fine-grained sweet bean paste)? Toshiya:*Enthusiastically* I like both! Joe: You like both…. Toshiya: But I would say koshian? Joe: If you had to choose, it would be koshian….now there is a question related to The Freedom of Expression, a youtube program I do with Kaoru. “Joe also does  The Freedom of Expression with Kaoru. I would like to hear any stories with Kaoru”. Toshiya: With Kaoru?....well…..mmmmm……*chuckles*…. Kaoru…..Surprisingly, there are many stories of just the two of us that would make you laugh…. Joe: I see…. stories that you can’t tell here…. Toshiya: *nods* That’s right… yes yes….*laughs*…mmmmmm….that’s right…..*laughs* Joe: That’s it….*laughs* Toshiya: Surprisingly…. Joe: Surprisingly…. Toshiya: Unexpectedly…. Joe: I get it… They both laugh. Toshiya: It’s like….I feel like maybe they might be not so open-minded….. Joe:  You can’t…..that’s it…. it would be many grow-up/adult conversations….. Toshiya: *laughs* Grow-up/adult conversations…. Joe: That’s ok… Toshiya: That’s it….but something really…..it applies to the other members as well…..they are all caring/considerate people….they are really like that….what I hate the most when I’m drinking….what I hate the most is people who are in bands that talks shit about other members…. Joe: I see Toshiya: I really hate that…. Joe: I can’t stand that… Toshiya: It’s like…..(they act) as it is ok to talk shit/say bad things when you drink…..much less about members…. Joe: Talking about another member…. Toshiya: I’m like….”I think you should stop doing that”…. Joe: Like “you should speak face-to-face”….it feels like something you should say directly to the members…. Toshiya: I hate that kind of thing….some people say stuff like that sometimes….it’s such a turn-off…. Joe: It really kills the mood….that’s totally it…..because no one chose the band members for you….you are playing in that band because you want to…. Toshiya: That’s it…. Joe: That’s it…..but that happens…..I see…. Toshiya: Before this, at a Liberal Democratic Party meeting…..they took a questionnaire, they weren’t complaining about the organization but they were many people who didn’t like it (the questionnaire). Because they are all adults, right? To some extend, I feel that  it’s important that you see things from a rational point of view…. *Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) is a conservative political party in Japan that has almost continuously been in power since its foundation in 1955.   Joe: Certainly….the good thing about rock….of course it has an aggressive/offensive side but, in the end rock is something positive, isn’t it? Toshiya: That’s right… Joe: Because it’s the power of the people what pushes your forward…. Toshiya: Thereby, you are pushed forward by others…. Joe: Right…. So even if there are things that you might hate about it, to me, the power of rock is finding the good things/side…. Toshiya: That’s right….Taking that direction is rather easier…. Joe: For sure….

Toshiya: The things that you don’t like…..it’s like they become invisible… Joe: Right… Toshiya: It’s better not to see them…. Joe:  True… Toshiya: Even though I can see them…. Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: I’m being too honest/serious…. Joe: No,no….that’s important….. Then I have the following question…. What protein do you drink? Toshiya: Protein?.....Sabas….

Joe: Sabas?...... Toshiya: Yes Joe:  Is that so?  Sabas? Toshiya: The blue one mostly….I’ve been drinking it recently to lose weight…. Joe: I see….what shampoo or hair product do you use? Toshiya: Shampoo?....mmmmm…what it would be…..about that….surprisingly I use the ones  I get from fans…. Joe: Is that so? You don’t use specific ones…..I’m already at that point….As I’m already 52 years old….*takes off his hat* they told me that my hair is at stage 4, hair restoration is hard….I’m using a hair growth formula that costs 6000 yen per bottle. *The stages of male pattern baldness are measured on a scale from 1 to 7. By stage 4, there is significant hair loss. Toshiya: If you are getting bald, it can’t be helped right? Joe: There is nothing you can do…. What would you do?....if you go bald… Toshiya: Well….mmmm…. I would shave my hair off…. Joe: You would shave it off? I think it would look good on you…. Toshiya: If you think about it, there is nothing that you can do…. Joe: Certainly….*laughs*…..Certainly….I’m going to ask you another question, because we have so many….What was your nickname when you were a kid?.... Toshiya: When I was a kid?.....what was it?....mmmmm….usually….I wonder….I don’t remember it…. Joe: You don’t remember? Ohhh Toshiya: Mmmmm…..*starts laughing suddenly*… this was interesting though…..*laughs* Joe: What is it? Why are you already laughing?….. Toshiya: I’m sorry…..*laughs*….I’m really sorry…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: This is again about Shinya…. Joe: It’s fine…. Toshiya: Shinya, don’t get mad….I think it’s ok because he told it himself but…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: When he was asked what was his nickname in the past…..he said it was “liar”….. Joe:* Burst into laugther* That’s so bad….as a person….it’s too amusing…. Toshiya: For real….I really think they are all interesting people….. Joe: It's hard for him to talk much, isn’t it? Does he talk a lot? When I asked him, he just answers……he was amazing…..”liar”….. Toshiya: *laughs* “Liar”…. Joe: Amazing….. Well we are getting closer to the end of the program….. What is your favorite song from Dir en grey? Toshiya: Mmm….I wonder…..I like all of them….I feel strongly about all of them… Joe: I see… Toshiya: I feel strongly about them…..I really feel strongly…. When I think about them…..the feelings and the state of mind of the time (when they were done)….. Joe: Every song……all of them were fun to make but it seems that it was also hard…. Toshiya: Yes, that’s it….that’s true… Joe: Right?....if you play them at a live…..various memories will come…. Toshiya: That’s right…. Most of them were hard….. Joe: Making songs…..that’s such a hard thing….but the fact that there are people who will listen to them, people who are waiting for those songs…. Toshiya: What makes me the happiest about making songs, it’s that for a person, it will become something memorable even if is left in the past….. Joe: Something that will be there…. Toshiya: The feeling that you had when you listened to that song will remain. Like….somehow….any occasion….like a dir en grey album was released at the time you were cleaning the closets and you were listening to it….things like that….that someone was listening to it at moments like those….I’m really grateful. If this can become a page in a person’s life, I’m really grateful. Joe: That's a really nice thing, isn’t it? Toshiya: Time ago…. I was drinking with Baba from Dragon Ash…. Joe: Oh Baba….. Baba who passed away….. *They are talking about Ikuzo Baba “Ikuzone”,  Dragon Ash’s bassist, who passed away in 2012. Toshiya and Ikuzone were interviewed and appeared together at the cover of Bass Magazine No. 228 June 2010* Toshiya: He said that……if you are not forgotten…..you will be able to live forever…. Joe: I see… Toshiya: Baba said this talking about Hide….. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: If you are forgotten…..I don’t think you will be able to live…. Joe: Well, Baba is still living in us, isn’t he? Toshiya: Of course he is. Those words that he said to me….even now…..those words resonate with me…. Joe: Certainly…..those words  are really good…aren’t they? Toshiya: I think those words were very Baba-ish…. Joe: Certainly…..because the music will remain forever….even if you forget about it for a moment….it may now always be part of  your playlists….but it will come out eventually… Toshiya: That’s right…..somehow…..mmmmm…. I want you to listen to Dir en grey forever…..*laughs* Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I want that to happen but I don’t know (if it will happen)……but……if it bring you memories of that time….that….makes me really happy and grateful…. Joe: I see…..everybody is taking this chance to write the dir en grey songs they like at the comments…..there are many comments appearing on screen…..lastly….there is one more questionnaire for Toshiya….February 2021 has just started….. the emergency state has been extended and we are all in a difficult situation but…..I wonder what are his goals, dreams or plans for this year……ah! Amazing *points at the comments* Thank you for writing so many comments…. Toshiya: Thank you… Joe: All of them…..”Yokan”…. I see…..”Child Prey”….there are many songs there….”Ranunculus”….ahh, Ranunculus is such a great song…..I really like “Ranunculus”…. Toshiya: Ah….it’s really a good song…. Joe: It’s an amazing song…..”Ningen wo Kaburu”…..write more, write more…..we are looking at your comments while we are drinking….please, we are going to use a paper sheet again….*pointing at the notebook on the floor* Toshiya: Ah,yes….*picks it* Joe: About this year….. something like a close goal….you said you were lazy  a while ago but….I want you to think about a positive keyword for 2021….amazing….you all are writing a lot of comments….”Lotus” is there too….amazing….”Rinkaku”….they are writing many songs…..”Zakuro”…..that’s a great song……”Utafumi”….thats a more recent song…..it’s a good song too….. Toshiya:  Somehow…..the songs that we have made…..probably…. Honestly, I can’t say  that Dir en grey is going to be there forever…. I always think about it as walking on thin ice….honestly….somehow….when Dir en grey is gone…..the things that we did….like our legacy…..I think that would be the songs after all….. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: If we are remembered that way…..I would be really thankful….. Joe: That’s right….they are writing “please don’t be gone”…..of course that’s what we all want, that Dir en grey never ends... Toshiya: Of course…. Joe: Of course no one wants Dir en grey to disappear, I’m not saying it with that intention….. Toshiya: I don’t think about it but I can’t promise…..I can’t do that…. Joe: That’s right…..because a band it’s a miracle…. Toshiya: I think so… Joe: Many things you do are miracles…..because not many people can do that… Toshiya: I don’t know….All this….I really just cant do it (by myself)…. Joe: That’s why I think it’s so great that you can perform and produce things…. Toshiya: I agree…. Joe: Definitely, there will a tomorrow and a day after tomorrow…. Toshiya: I agree… Joe: Yes…. Toshiya: That’s it….So, at this time with Corona going on…. I have thought about a lot of things inside my head….but after all, I thought about what was the most negative thing about this situation for me….when I thought about that…..I think the most negative thing for me is that the activities of these 5 people  are reduced…. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: I don’t think it will last forever….I think that the other members feel the same than me…of course, I want to continue doing this as long as I’m alive…. Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I don’t know…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: With that in mind, last year…..2020….somehow we could only do things as a band at the beginning of the year…that’s it….I feel like  the time of these five people doing things  together has been dramatically reduced……that’s really…..I think it’s very frustrating/annoying….. Joe: I see. That’s why I’m sure the next single is going to be amazing and strong….something that it’s going to make you think hard…. Toshiya: I want it to be something that remains…. Joe: Also the concert screening tour is going to start soon….I hope that everyone as well while believing in every moment, support it… So, what kind of goals or thoughts has Toshiya for 2021? What ideas has installed into his heart? I told him to express them in one kanji…please take a look…. Toshiya: It’s a bit so-so…. Toshiya shows the kanji he wrote. Joe: There it is…. Toshiya: Yes Toshiya wrote “動” (motion). Joe: “Motion” Toshiya: *Laughs* “Motion”…..yes….. Joe: Yes…movement…. Toshiya: Movement….that’s the main thing……I think it’s the main thing right now….unless something “moves”….I knew that nothing was going to happen last year but this year I want us “to move” as much as possible….as much as possible….Of course I want to meet the fans ( at a concert) again but over all, I want  the five of us to move forward…. Joe: That’s good… Toshiya: That’s the main thing I want….. Joe: The band moving forward..…. please everyone look forward to that….the concert screening tour will start soon and although the release date hasn’t been set yet, a new single will be released in the spring. The next action has already begun in pre-production, so when the situation allows it, we all can meet at the live venue again…. Toshiya: That’s it….really…..I want them to come but honestly I can’t tell them to come….that’s it…..if something happens, it’s going to be the hardest thing for us….somehow….that something happens to the people who say that like Dir en grey….that’s the thing I hate the most… Joe: That’s right… that something happens to the people who loves you…..that’s the worst…. Toshiya: It is….it’s the worst…. Joe: For real… Toshiya: For real, I really hate it… Joe: That's right. That's why we should take good measures against infection. We are still in a difficult situation at this time….at an emotional level too…..and after all, I think that some people are also feeling (emotionally) weak…. Toshiya: That’s why that I got this opportunity to be here….that you all are watching this….it make me happy… Joe: Well, finally, what was promised….he’ll take off his sunglasses and say goodbye…but before….next week a new program will be broadcasted….next week Shinya from LUNA SEA…. Toshiya: Oh! Joe: He’ll come to the program…. Toshiya:  A big senpai…. Joe: Isn’t he? He got infected with Corona virus…. Toshiya: Ah, that’s it….it surprised me… Joe: The concert they had at the end of the year had to be suspended…. Toshiya:  That’s right….that some people said you did something bad/wrong… Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: So  that you ended up like that (infected with the virus)…. Joe: It’s not like he was doing it on his own….but on the contrary, it seems that Shinya also seems to have thought about that, about all the things he did around that time…. Toshiya: It’s really…..to blame someone for that…. Joe: That’s definitely wrong… Toshiya: I think it’s nonsense… Joe: I think that everyone here thinks the same about this….*pointing at the comments* they didn’t do anything wrong….anything wrong….its seems that everyone here knows that…. As for Toshiya, you said you would come after the single is released and you will sing “Jesus” with you sunglasses off… this was decided today…. Toshiya: But it must get the approval of LUNA SEA members….if they don’t approve it, I won’t do it…. Joe: I will get it!.... Toshiya: No,no… Joe: I’m going to get the label president confirmation…. Toshiya: *Laughs* Sakanoue? *Masatoshi Sakanoue is Luna Sea’s  executive producer* Joe:  Sakanoue….*nods* I’m going to ask for his approval… Toshiya: Nooo…..*raises his arms and squeals*….stop it…. Joe: I’m going to confirm it with him…. I’m going to get his approval Toshiya:*Laughs* For real?....I’ll play bass!… Joe: No, no….anything it’s ok but you have to sing…..the bass….it’s going to be like “he is playing bass as always”…. Toshiya: It's really embarrassing….if you could insert some blurring effect/pixelating…. Joe: I’ll! I will insert some blurring with a mosaic effect….but you have to sing….you can play the bass too if you want…. Toshiya: And some…for the voice…..how is it call?...that thing that changes it… Joe: To change it…..some voice distortion….like if you were interrogating…. Toshiya: That thing that makes your voice super high…. Joe: “It’s decided, he’ll sing while playing the bass”…..everyone is so spoiled…… Toshiya: Yes… Joe: Well, finally…at the end of the program he is going to take off his sunglasses and say goodbye to all of you….*Toshiya is about to get the sunglasses off but it’s stopped by Joe* First the message….then you take off the sunglasses at the end when you say bye bye to them…. Toshiya: Well….today was….arggg…..I really hate this *cleans the sweat of his fronthead* I’m sweating a lot…. Joe:*Laughs*I’m sorry…. Toshiya: It was really fun…. Joe: Thank you…. Toshiya: If you laughed watching this…..that would be the best….that would be the best now…we would be thankful for that and it would make us happy….Yes, that’s it. Next time I’ll come after the releasing of “Oboro” and we’ll have a good drink with you all again…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: Thank you for today….. Joe: Thank you for watching…. Well, while he says goodbye after taking his sunglasses off, I want to thank you for today. *Toshiya laughs and takes his sunglasses off* Tonight’s guest was Toshiya from Dir en grey! Thank you for watching! Toshiya: Thank you for watching! *waves* Joe: Bye, bye! *clapping* Toshiya is on screen, shyly, waving goodbye and then covers his face with his hands. The image fades and the logo of the channel appears. *Thank you for reading :)*

[writersrealmbts]

Diamond Tears and Little Wings: Part 5

Description: You’re a fairy, taken in by BTS. You need lots of love and care, otherwise your light will fade and you turn to stone. Between the seven of them, you should never feel unloved. Right?

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 02/11/2021

Tags: bts x reader, ot7

Angst/Fluff/Angst: 3,846 words

A/N: Okay, I told you guys that I would be alternating between DTLW and Clearwater Springs, so here’s the proof. Anyway, two more parts after this!

Your fourth home in five years is what they told you this was. But you couldn’t remember any but this one.

So your heart was aching, and you always wanted to cry, but you never dared to do so. Something, someone’s, words, telling you that crying in front of strangers was dangerous kept echoing in your head. So you blinked away any tears that came, hugged your stuffed animal, and studied the area you would lived in.

It was a little cold, so you hugged your coat tighter to you. You’d been told by the other fairies that your coat was special, because it appeared to be designed exactly for your wings, which was rare. But none of them seemed to have any idea why you would have such a special coat, excepting the fact that maybe in the country you came from it was more normalized to have custom wing-slits.

It was completely normal to come away from a home with a stuffed animal, and clothing and jewelry that could shrink down. People liked dressing up fairies.

You played with your bracelet as you examined the cement floor, and the plain white walls, and the windows that weren’t quiet fully insulated but were full east and full west, respectively, and provided quite a bit of natural lighting. You had your own bathroom and kitchen area, and the laundry room was in the basement. The bed was a bit creaky, but the mattress seemed decent. You had a cute lamp on the side table, and they had a few books for you on a bookshelf that had the bottom shelf broken beside the side table.

There was shoebox bedroom on one of the shelves as well, very simple, with just a bed in it, but it was decorated carefully—though perhaps by their daughter. There was felt covering the floor and back wall, which would provide a little insulation for you. The outside was colored on, but you didn’t have a problem with that.

There was an old rug rolled off to one side that they said you could use, and a bar with some hangers already hanging on it and plastic drawers they said you could used for your clothing.

You looked at your suitcase, which was resting on the bed, then set your dog on top of it while you got the rug, unrolling it and placing it near your bed.

Your job there was to do their laundry and take care of the cat that their daughter wouldn’t let them get rid of, and to entertain their daughter now and then, and when you weren’t delivering the clean laundry or entertaining their daughter you were to stay in the basement bedroom. Simple enough.

The cat was a sweetheart and the laundry was quite simple with only three people to wash for. Laundry was tossed down the shoot daily and every Monday and Thursday you were to deliver their clean laundry before they awoke.

They weren’t cruel, or strict, just very structured and busy.

She was very kind and brought you groceries, even getting you exactly what you requested. You just had to leave a list with her laundry on Mondays, because Mondays were grocery days. She even spontaneously bought you a cake, and when you told her that the basement was a little cold for you, she found a nice heater for you that greatly improved things, and found some more blankets around the house for you. They were generally gone over the weekends, visiting a different set of grandparents each weekend, which left you and Cupcake, the cat, alone in the house to do as you pleased.

Those were the days you ventured down to the fairy market, which was a safe space for fairies and since you did get an allowance for doing the laundry, you could sometimes buy some special treats or things that you needed.

You weren’t a fan of the husband, which was fine, because he only seemed to come downstairs if he needed to check the water-heater (they were having issues with it and he was too stubborn to call whoever it was that professionally dealt with those things), or to ask you to do an emergency clean on a shirt or tie or slacks. It wasn’t that he was mean, or sleazy, or that he gave you bad vibes, he was just very grumpy and brisk. Cold.

And he hated the cat.

Plus you had the distinct feeling that if he found out about your diamond tears it would be a very bad thing. He was a greedy man, raising a greedy daughter.

But you had a CD player now, and you could find CD’s now and then at the fairy market, and the wife said you could use any CD’s you found in the basement.

Which was how you found your current favorite CD. You weren’t certain who the artists were because the disc hadn’t been in it’s proper case, but their songs were so nice. And you loved the one song.

So some days, when you had nothing to do but give the cat all the love it wanted, you just listened to that CD on repeat, singing words as though you’d known them before.

You did different crafts, and solved some of the abandoned puzzles from the storage room.

You improved your shoe-box, replacing the bed (it was a sponge, hard and weird to lay on) with a carefully arranged nest of fabrics and stuffing. Sometimes you stuck your stuffed dog into the shoebox and snuggled into that. The smells on it so familiar and foreign that it made you cry.

Which meant you had to find a place to hide your tears. Normally you just saved them and exchanged them at the fairy market—where the currency exchange fairy, Heidrun, just discretely nodded and added their value to your shopping card balance.

But one day she stopped you before you could leave, holding your hands. “You don’t look well, dear.”

“Fourth home,” You told her simply, shrugging. “It’s more of a job than a home. But I’m not…I’m not suffering. She always makes sure I have what I need and allows me a lot of freedom. I have the whole basement to myself, and I’m allowed in the side-yard at all times. She even encourages me to come here. And I have music to listen to. Actually, I found a CD I really like, but I don’t know what band they are because it doesn’t say on the disc.”

“Try Magnus, he knows everything going on in the music scene,” She told you, squeezing your hands. “And trying to hold onto whatever love you’ve got and are getting. It’s not healthy for our kind to go unloved.”

You nodded. “I’ll do that.”

Magnus did help you, granted, you had to sing a couple of the songs for him to find the right group, but once he did, he sent to you over to Frida with a request for BTS albums.

Frida nodded, pulling out several book-like things. “They’re super popular, but they’re also in a ton a magazines right now. They lost their fairy because of some scandal, and now they’re in a slump, but they’re also going on a world tour, so it can’t be that much of a slump. They’re actually coming to our stadium for a concert, which is cool. They’ve started putting up the posters already.”

You looked at the books, confused. “I thought you said they were albums?”

“They are. The CD’s are accompanied by a booklet of photos and the lyrics, photocards, and usually a poster.”

You blinked then picked up the biggest one, concerned and confused. “It’s…huge…and a box?”

She just snorted. “You want that one? It’s one of their more recent ones. Don’t have their newest yet, but I can see if I can get one for you.”

You nodded. “That’d be nice, but sure, I’ll…take this one for now.”

She nodded and swiped your card. “All yours, sweet-cheeks. Now, tell me how you get your hair that shiny.”

You grabbed your hair and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just wash it.”

“Not even fair,” She muttered, then turned to a new customer.

You went home after hitting a few more stalls, getting more craft things and some stuff for the kitty, hugging the album and wondering what awaited you inside.

Cupcake was waiting for you on your bed, sitting up and meowing loudly, stretching out a paw for you to take (which you did because why else teach him that trick) and then purring and arching into your hand.

“I know, I was gone for forever,” You scooped him up after successfully setting everything else down. “I bought some new music for us. You need a better name. A masculine name. You don’t respond to Cupcake anyway—not that I blame you. It’s a rather poor choice of a name for a cat, much less a tom.”

He just purred, climbing up onto your shoulders and riding there while you put away the few food items you had purchased and hopping onto the fridge while you started cooking your dinner.

You hummed as you tried to think of a different name for him, but after a moment you paused, wondering what song it was you were humming and why it was so familiar and yet so distant. So easy, but you couldn’t remember. You couldn’t remember the moment you stopped singing what the words were or how the song went, despite having reached the chorus. You could only remember the last words you sang.

You shook your head and went over, quickly opening the box to where the disc was in the album without seeing any sign of the pictures (Maybe a poster?) and then popping it into the player.

But it was worse than the first one, because you swore you knew each song. You had vague images in your head of people performing the songs. It hurt. It hurt to hear these songs because they were too familiar. Too familiar and yet so completely foreign that it was unfair.

The first one wasn’t too bad, but the second started really getting to you.

By the third song you were in tears.

By the chorus of the fourth song you were full-on sobbing on the bed.

The fifth song clashed so much with the sentiments of the previous two that it just broke you down further, and you had to turn it off before you started screaming at the empty space where the music should have come from.

You grabbed the photos from the album box after you had calmed down enough. Not bothering to try and remove the sticker, you slide the photos out and started flipping through the pages, horrified at the fact that they looked so achingly familiar and yet you had no idea who they were.

You tossed them back in the box and slammed it shut, eyes filled with tears.

But you must not have woken when someone came into the basement, because three days later the man was demanding to know where you got so many diamonds.

And fairies can’t lie.

Five days later you were staring out the window, a place you couldn’t go until you filled the box on your small counter space with diamonds. It wasn’t too large, but it was large enough that you were worried about whether you would ever fill it.

So you turned on the disc again, and cried. Cried until you were sick, and then collapsed into your bed. Exhaustedly petting the cat until you fell asleep, only to repeat it the next day. And the next.

When you finally filled it, you went straight to the market just to get some time away from the basement.

The shopkeepers from your regular stops came rushing up when they saw you, even Heidrun, all asking where you’d been and if you were okay and before you knew it you were sitting at one of the picnic tables with some soup and some tea and a bunch of worried fairies fussing over you.

Frida sat silently across from you, looking concerned but ultimately staring at the table.

Or so you thought, because she suddenly reached across the table and grabbed your bracelet. “Where did you get this?”

You blinked and tried to recoil, but couldn’t. “I don’t remember. I just figured it was from one of my previous homes.

Magnus frowned, looking at it. “It looks a lot like the one that…”

She nodded. “There’s something etched onto them. Fairy craftsmanship. Come over to my shop. Come on.”

You followed her, curious, and not wanting to let something you had a very strong attachment to out of your sight.

First she tried a jeweler’s eye loupe, then she wrinkled her nose and grabbed a flashlight, shining it through the gems and onto the table.

You stared down at it, confused.

“Something tells me your family didn’t give you up willingly,” Magnus said, voice a little tense.

Frida looked at you, as though she couldn’t believe it. “You’re the fairy that was taken away from BTS?”

You just looked back at her. “Um…is that what all of that means?”

“How did you like that album you bought?” She asked, eyes narrowed to slits.

You shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to think about how much you had used it to make yourself cry, because if you did then you knew she was right. And if she was right, then it would be even sadder.

“Weren’t the one that said that they couldn’t have been too sad about losing their fairy to be going on a world tour? Why would I want to be her?”

“No, they talked about it…it’s because they’re trying to find her. Find you. They didn’t say it explicitly because they could get in trouble for that, but they’ve hinted at it and there are tons of reports and pictures of them visiting every fairy sanctuary they could without compromising their performances. It just took a while for it to hit the news for us. Y/n, they’re looking for you. And if this is any proof, I think they love you and you need love. You look like a skeleton with skin.”

Heidrun gently pulled you into her arms. “What changed? You were doing alright and then you were gone and you come back looking like a ghost.”

“They found my tears,” You whispered.

She inhaled sharply, not quite a gasp, and held you tighter. “You can’t stay there.”

“I can’t leave there either. Where would I go? I would just get arrested and brought back to them.”

Frida folded her arms. “Leave it to me. You go back, lay low. Maybe try to appeal to the lady of the house. I’ll have you out of there as soon as I can. In the meantime….”

“I’ve still got a backlog of your diamonds, come get them just in case he asks again.” Your arm was gently pulled toward the currency exchange station.

You took the bag, and the treats most of them packed up for you. If the love of other fairies was enough to sustain you, you never would have been in this mess. But fairies, while kind and caring, didn’t have enough love for other fairies to keep them alive, especially once exposed to the love of a family. Fairies were good, and kind, and helpful, but also emotionally unstable which made it hard to focus enough love into one another without a consistent source of outside love.

It was a miracle your species had survived as long as it had.

Cupcake greeted you, meowing pathetically and hopping into your arms.

You sat down on your bed with him. “Let’s think of a new name for you.”

Eventually you settled on Keyowo, which was close to his current name but meant friend and was just…it was better.

You then set to deep cleaning over the next week, shrinking your things and tucking them into your suitcase to keep them out of sight.

On Tuesday he beat you to tears because you weren’t producing tears fast enough.

The album caught your eye again on the next Friday.

You picked up, tracing the seven on the cover, and then opening it. You pulled out the poster and unfolded it.

They were in white, with feathers floating down and a hole in the floor. They all looked so good.

You touched the one on the far left, wearing the sweater. Slightly cat-like facial features. You felt like you knew what his hands looked like, even though you couldn’t see much of them in the picture. Slightly calloused, bony, but gentle and careful. Caring for everyone.

“Yoongi,” You whispered, choking up. Tearing up.

Your fingers traced over each of them, names a whisper in your mind. A whisper that turned into shouts, memories flooding your mind of each and every one of them. Your mind screaming for them because your throat was too tight to even whisper.

They were your boys.

They had to let you go.

You weren’t supposed to remember them.

They weren’t supposed to try and find you.

The next day you shoved everything into your bag, tucked the cat into your coat, left a note for the missus and headed straight back to the fairy market.

Frida looked surprised when she saw you. “Whoa, what happened? Is this the kitty your were telling me about?”

“They’re gone for the weekend, that means even if I stay nearby they’ll think I’ve had two days to run out on them. I need you to help me get me back to my family.” You teared up. “I need to find them.”

Frida nodded, glancing around and closing her shop. “Come on. You can stay with me.”

Frida’s family consisted of a pair of siblings.

The sister, Alena, was a fairy rights activist in her spare time, which is why Frida had so much freedom, and a huge music fan. She had a whole wall of CD’s and albums and posters. Stacks of magazines featuring musicians.

The brother, Agnar, was quiet, “just an accountant”, and very kind. And very affectionate toward Frida.

Frida was equally affectionate toward him, bringing a fake gag from Alena.

They helped you find an outfit that hid your fairy-ness, and he got you tickets to the concert, all of you hoping that it would get you close enough for them to see you and recognize that you were there. Also, it would help you health-wise to see them in person and the rush from the concert would be overwhelming, but also might revitalize you.

Then Alena forced you to sit in the bathroom with her while she applied a cloth to your face with epsom salts to try and reduce the bruising and swelling on your face. She told you about the fairy abuse responders, and how she would call them in the morning and tell them about your family.

Agnar totally stole your cat.

Frida let you sleep in her fairy-home (because it definitely wasn’t a dollhouse and it was awesome, of course).

Four days later, you were at the concert venue with Alena, taking a seat and soaking in the atmosphere. People were talking all around and some people were chanting the boys’ names. Another group was starting to sing the songs.

You listened nervously, wondering whether it was true or not that they were looking for you. What if they were just making a fuss to get back at the company a bit? What if the media was making things up? It wouldn’t be the first time a story was fabricated for magazines.

Then the concert started and you and Alena were cheering for your boys, but you wondered why you ever thought they’d be able to see you in this mess.

It wasn’t until the second half of the concert that you had hope.

The boys were in more casual outfits, having more fun.

And they were all wearing the jewelry that Namjoon had made from your diamonds.

Jimin was the one who saw you first, though he looked right over you and then seemed to try and pinpoint you again, but was unable to in the crowd. He stood there with a smile plastered on his face, acting as though he was studying each Army’s face when you knew he was searching for you.

So you stood still in the writhing mass that of the crowd, and studied him.

He had lost weight, and if it hadn’t been for the makeup, you bet he’d look fairly wrung-out.

All of them looked like they’d been sick enough to lose weight.

Taehyung came over and practically dragged him away (making it look playful).

But Jimin said something to Jin and Jungkook.

Jungkook was over there as casually as he could, totally looking at the camera and doing ‘fanservice’. But he obviously didn’t spot you.

Jin didn’t either.

But Yoongi did during the very last song and he stopped, staring, then he was crouched, hand over his mouth, just staring in your direction.

You waved, wondering if he actually was staring at you.

He smiled, but it also looked like he wanted to cry. He waved as well, then cautiously moved off, still keeping an eye on you.

You bit your lip, smiling.

Alena squealed and grabbed onto you, and the two of you did your best to fit in with the rest of the crowd.

Both of you lingered as long as you could afterward, her extremely hyped from the whole concert and talking a mile a minute, while you were feeling…exhausted? All of the emotions around you and finally seeing your boys again….

But you had no idea how you were going to get to them, or how they were going to get to you.

Until you saw Sejin, scanning the crowd.

The likelihood of him being on the side of the boys was pretty good.

You tugged on Alena’s arm, pulling her to a stop.

Sejin locked onto you and started moving, coming your way, waiting until the straggling fans that had been around you were gone before telling security to let you through.

You dipped your head to the security guards, then bowed slightly to Sejin. “Hello.”

Sejin smiled. “Hello, y/n.”

You bit your lip. “I remembered.”

He nodded. “I figured. We all figured. They’re waiting. They’re all waiting.”

You were practically vibrating.

“Come on, let’s get you back to them. Your friend can come but she needs to wait in the hallway for…security purposes.”

You nodded and relayed the information to Alena, then both of you were following back to the waiting room.

Sejin stopped by the waiting room. “Go on in.”

You nodded, putting your hand on the doorknob and then turning it and going in.

–

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Masterlist  -  ot7 Masterpost

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[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕦𝕡❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ hannah meets up with one of her close friends to catch up; alternatively: the fox and the quokka meet again

⇢ set in mid april 2021

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. feedback is highly appreciated!

Hannah shook her head fondly as she watched Yoonmi race down the hall towards the recording studio frequently seen on vlive. She and Yeonjun exchanged amused looks as the young girl excitedly entered the room, yelling the name of her older brother.

“Come on,” Yeonjun placed a hand on her back and sped their pace up, “or else Chan hyung’s gonna use us not being there as an excuse to stay longer.”

She scoffed at that, following Yeonjun regardless. “Please, he’d drop everything for Yoonmi anytime, and you know that.”

Yeonjun’s laugh was the only response she got as they entered the studio. The door opened immediately as they arrived in front of it, revealing Yoonmi dragging a chuckling Chan away to probably her manager’s car.

“Looks like they’ll be gone for a while,” Changbin laughed from the inside before nodding at her with a smile and turning to Yeonjun. “Let’s go before Wooyoung and Haknyeon decide to make us pay for being late.”

Yeonjun nodded and stepped out with Changbin, ruffling her hair on his way out. “See you in a bit, Hannah.

She glared at him a little before turning towards her friend who remained cleaning up the studio. They haven’t been able to see each other since their promotions overlapped. Or since the award shows, actually. “Hey, quokka.”

“Miss foxy,” Jisung playfully bowed at her before continuing to gather up his stuff, “long time no see. You hungry?”

“Always,” she playfully rolled her eyes at him, “or have you forgotten already?”

“Not when you and Yongbok have been constantly sending each other desserts. No cookies recently?”

“Yoonmi makes the best cookies, and she always sends some over to Chan hyung for you guys. Felix told me.”

The betrayed look he had on his face when he realized this made her laugh. It dawned on her that, though Chan may have told Felix to let the others get some cookies whenever they want, Felix must have kept it a secret. He loved Yoonmi’s cookies, so it was no surprise.

“He never told us!”

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

The two friends found themselves in the JYP cafeteria, food paid for with Jisung’s credits. He had a whole set of food in his tray, which was quite a drastic difference from her single bowl of salad. He frowned when he saw her tray.

“Just a salad?”

She shrugged. “We’re in the middle of promotions, so I’m dieting.”

“Nope,” he placed a plate of pasta on her tray and some extra side dishes, “your boyfriend and members are gonna kill me if I don’t feed you. Our food’s all organic, anyway. It’ll be fine. We’re sharing side dishes, by the way.”

She rolled her eyes but followed him to an empty table. They settled across from each other and began digging in. The conversation carried smoothly, as if they didn’t have a solid four or four months of not seeing each other. It switched from the food to normal catching up to preparations.

“Your comeback’s really good, by the way,” Jisung noted. “I listened to the whole album. Really good. You worked on lyrics, too!”

“Just a bit,” her tone was humble as she moved the salad around on her plate. “I thought it was fitting since it’s our first full album, so I did my best. Sorry for bothering you for help, by the way. I know you’re pretty busy with Kingdom.”

“Please,” he shook his head, “I needed the distraction. We were so caught up on preparing for the show, so I needed to forget it just a little.”

“How are you guys, by the way? I’ve seen your past few performances.” A teasing smirk made its way up to her face while she looked up from her food to meet his eyes. “I liked your cover of I’ll Be Your Man. Very impressive high notes there, mister main rapper. Very desperate.”

Jisung snorted and tossed a little sausage from their side dishes onto her plate. “Shut up, you know the performance is supposed to seem desperate.”

“What’s coming up? The collaboration stage, right?” She took a moment to recall the last episode’s ending. “It’s a shame that you guys aren’t working with The Boyz. You, Eric, and Sunwoo rapping together would have been cool.”

“You’re friends with Sunwoo?”

“We’ve met, but you already know I talk to English line the most.” She jolted up straight upon remembering something, startling Jisung into hitting his leg against the table. The boy curled in on himself a little, making her laugh. “Sorry about that. Did you hear? Changmin oppa invited me to co-host your sports day!”

That was the reason why she had been in a meeting the day before right after their schedules. She didn’t expect that she’d be brought straight to the company right after her schedules with NCT Dream, much less did she expect that she’d be meeting with a few higher ups and some Mnet staff alongside her senior for a cameo.

Jisung raised an eyebrow at her. “What? You’re coming to watch our sports day?”

“Co-host, but yeah.”

“This is gonna be so funny,” he laughed. “You know that, even if you have a boyfriend now, Juyeon hyung has an idol crush on you, right?”

“Stop!” Her hand went to her forehead in embarrassment. “Eric always mentions it whenever we talk, I swear.”

The smirk on her friend’s face sent a chill down her spine. “But there’s also Seonghwa hyung and Chani… Oh my god, man! What is it with you and these older guys, huh?”

“One more word out of your mouth, Han Jisung, and I’m telling Chan oppa that you had a crush on Yoonmi.”

Ah, yes. This short-lived crush her friend had on her other friend which amused her to no end every time he’d talk to her about how Yoonmi’s lyrics hit different, how her on stage persona is captivating, how she’s adorable in BTS content, or how her rap is unmatched by any other girl idols. Jisung, like many other fourth generation idols (and some from third generation) had fallen for the international sweetheart, and she made sure to tease him about it whenever given the chance.

Jisung groaned, “Of course I tease you about other’s having a crush on you, but you can’t tease me about people liking me.”

“Hey, if it means anything,” she began, “I used to like you the slightest bit back in late 2019 when we did those collab stages. Nothing much, it died as soon as it started, so don’t get too cocky.”

The slightly astonished look on her friends face made her remind him that it was a momentary thing rather than a prolonged crush. This, of course, didn’t stop Jisung from poking fun at her.

“Aye, I’m so telling your boyfriend,” Jisung laughed.

She gave him a pointed look. “Nothing is kept a secret in our group, and he’s in the same unit as one of the people most overprotective of me.”

The 00-liner wisely kept his mouth shut, making her laugh. A silence passed between the two before they silently agreed on not speaking about these infatuations ever again. She finished the last of her food before rummaging around her bag and pulling out a small bottle. It was something she didn’t use often, but prefered whenever she didn’t have to promote. Black nail polish.

“I brought this, by the way,” she mentioned as her phone started ringing. “I don’t know why you asked for it, but here you go.”

“Nice,” he took the bottle, “now answer your phone while I finish my food.”

The familiar face on her screen brought a subconscious smile to her face the moment she got her phone out of her pocket. It was her none other than her boyfriend, Liu Yangyang. She chuckled a little before answering the phone.

“Hey, Schnucki. I’m with Hannie right now. Jisung, say hi.”

She brought the phone closer to Jisung’s face, where he awkwardly greeted the boy on the other end of the phone. The awkwardness made her laugh and take it back. Maybe she should have waited until after he swallowed before making him say hi.

“Me again!”

“Have you eaten dinner yet?” Yangyang asked her with the slightest hint of concern in his voice. “Renjun told me you skipped out on the food your manager got you guys on the way home.”

“Hwang Injun, that snitch.” Her mumbling was easily caught by Jisung who snorted in amusement. She lightly smacked his arm from across the table then went back to her conversation. “I just ate dinner! JYP Entertainment’s special organic food is pretty filling, don’t worry.”

“Alright,” his voice sounded relieved. “How long are you gonna be there? Will you be back too late? You still have an early start tomorrow.”

She chuckled at her boyfriend’s questions. Ever since their jacket shoot, her schedule had been filled with preparations for NCT Dream’s comeback. Yangyang had been texting her good morning everyday without fail and constantly checking up on her to make sure she was still functioning properly somehow. For some reason, she found this endearing about him. He usually wouldn’t seem like that type of boyfriend, but he is.

“I’ll be here until Yoonmi finishes shopping for her future nephew and Yeonjun oppa comes back from dinner with the 99s. Hannie’s taking care of me, don’t worry.”

Jisung’s scoff from across the table made her send him a pointed look.

“Could you put me on speaker?”

“Hold on.”

One more warning look was sent towards Jisung as she placed the phone on the table. Jisung looked at her curiously before turning towards the phone.

“Yangyang?” he called out cautiously.

“Hi, Han,” Yangyang greeted. “I know we only spoke a few times, but I hope it’s not too much to ask to take care if Hannah?”

“No problem, bro,” the Stray Kids member nodded despite the fact that the WayV boy couldn’t see him. “We’ll just be here in the company, there’s a bunch of places to lounge in and a lot of food.”

There was a laugh from the other end of the phone. “Thanks for taking care of my pet fox.”

“Excuse me,” she interjected, making the two boys laugh, “I will sheer your hair off your head, you sheep.”

“Kidding! Anyway, Han, you’re Hannah’s friend, so I’m trusting her with you. As a friend, right?”

Jisung chuckled. “Of course. No need to worry.”

Hannah snatched up her phone and turned speaker off before the conversation could get any longer. “Is that it?”

“I’m at the dreamie dorm right now, so I’m expecting cuddles when you get back.”

A slight chuckle escaped her lips as she playfully rolled her eyes. “As long as you’re out of the dorms by 1:30am at the latest, okay?”

“Of course, babe.” The wink was evident in his voice, she didn’t even need to see him to know he did. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“See you later, Schnucki.”

With that, she hung up her phone and looked up to find Jisung looking at her with a teasing smile. “What?”

“You’re so whipped,” he drew out. “Honestly! The smile on your face says it all. It’s different from when you’re talking to your members or your other friends.”

“My smile?”

Looking back on it, Jeno did mention that there was something different in the way she looked at Yangyang. Donghyuck mentioned it as well while jokingly whining about her not giving him as sweet of a smile. Even Yoonmi told her that she sometimes catches Mark smiling at her the way Hannah smiles at Yangyang. Was it really that noticeable?

With a shake of her head, she picked up the black nail polish bottle once again. “What do you want to do with this?”

“Could you paint my nails?”

[kyotakumrau]

2021.02.16 2nd session of Meguro Rock-May-KanGIG at Zepp Yokohama

The encore of the recorded concert changed, it was such an awesome surprise! Felt a bit more like an actual concert, I love the idea of the changing setlist!😆

When they prepared the stage again for the talk session, Fujieda and Takabayashi came first. F jokingly started the introductions with 'hi this is Fujifuji~ and...' but T didn't realize what's F is doing (or did he?😂) and didn't join😂 after a moment of F waiting he finally joined with '...I'm T'.

Then F invited the band members on the stage and again Die and Kyo came on stage!

Die stayed in the same outfit, but Kyo changed! He had a long oversized greengrey-ish coat and shirt with a scarf thing.

D: はい、Dieでっすー

K: 京です🦊

F started to talk about Kyo's birthday again, but then K casually turned to the side and very casually without a comment pointed his phone at F.

F: are you filming me?!

K: I can't? (あかん？)

F: Ah no, it's okay...

*K continues*

F:... so Happy Birthday Kyo!

...

K: you know, I'm not that happy with the waiting time between the sessions, I'd prefer to do the talk part at the beginning and then go home. I don't want to waste time. We should have two patterns, one with the talking first.

(I guess some fans would be happy with that too😂)

F: (moved to the Rock-May-Kan film topic) so you played your new song, Ochita koto no aru sora there, how was it?

K: it was okay, it went smoothly

D said something like the song was ok, it will likely change/transform when the tour comes (?)

F: so it wasn't hard.

D: the hard part was that the stage was so narrow there was only space for few extra people (cameramen), all other staff were waiting in the audience area

F: so when you had to change guitars etc they had to climb the stage?

D: also with guitar tunning, especially the 7 string one, it's really tough and takes time, so it felt there wasn't enough time during short breaks between the songs. Toshiya always does tunning humself, I don't, I guess I should improve that a bit.

F: any songs that stood out?

K: I guess Jealous

F: in what way?

K: the arrangement was too old, it's actually embarrassing (how bad it is), the lyrics too. I changed the lyrics, I was laughing internally at myself, but I couldn't change the arrangement. it was like hell.

He also complained that some parts were too high, they were hard to sing. Some parts changed the piano intro done by Takumi etc, he didn't want to listen to the CD, old version, because it was too embarrassing.

F: and it became a 2021 version?

K: I want to change it even more, make it less troublesome for me.

D: it wasn't hard for me, but it is old, so the song's speed doesn't match my body anymore (not too fast, just wrong speed), it was easy to play though.

K: but it was hard to know how to move during the song.

*Kyo then showed us a movement he got unhappy with*

K: So I moved as little as possible

F: it didn't look like you had this much trouble

K: I'm a pro in the end.

😆

F next talked about the release of Oboro on April 28th.

F: K, you said that Oboro is refreshing. How about TDFF?

K: てんでだめなぶしぶし (TendeDamenaFujiFuji can translate to 'utterly useless Fujieda')

🤣

F: D, you said it's powerful, what about Oboro?

D: the music video is good. The filming took quite a long time, the way we used to do it in the past.

K: it was [refreshingly] cool, too fresh (light).

D: it got refreshing from about halfway?

F then talked about the merchandise. He started with the travel poach, he held it up and moved it closer to the center of the table so fans could see it on the screen in the back. But by doing that it ended up quite close to Kyo's head. K gave F a super bewildered look, turned to check the screen in the back and then continued to give F evil glares of 'why you doin this to me'😂

K: I thought that rubber keychains are so cute! We should release the older costume versions as well (he got applause from the audience for that).

K then commented it looks so cute that they all got beheaded with their heads so low, like they're holding their heads.

D grabbed the rechargeable heat pack and said (totally sarcastic): ah so wa~rm...

😂

F: the highest temperature is 40℃.

K: (gets the pack) Can you charge devices with it? Huh, it just gets hot? When you're in trouble or sth you can't use it as charger? People would have wanted that in December...

F: ...(passes it to Die)

D: it's exactly the same temperature as the charging phone...

F next showed us the usb power strip holding it over Kyo, K got uncomfortable again😅

After that they moved to the questions from fans.

D: "anything you were particular about when creating the setlist?" We added songs we were thinking about playing at SOGAI, so also some older songs.

F: do you have any good questions?

K passes one paper to F.

F reads: "did F do anything to make you angry?"

and K replied with a list😂 the main was again F's easy ﾊｲﾊｲﾊｲ ( like yeayeah) or biting his lips.

F: how about you D?

D: nothing really.

F: " do you have favourite ramen?"

K (immediately): Jiroken. And it has to be smaller noodle portion with more toppings (麺少なめ全マシ), it's the best.

D: I don't really eat ramen.

F: you also said no McDonald.

D: yeah

F: Have you tried Jiro?

D: once or so

K (concerned😂): did you eat normal ramen? Which shop?

he made sure Die knows which ramen to order and which shop is the best😂

T: "which venue would you like to play at next?"

D said not exactly a venue, he would like to go to prefectures they haven't been to yet.

K: Nagoya Music Fan.

F: in Fujigaoka?

T: Does it still exist?

F: yeah.

T: let's discuss it in the future (aka not very likely?😂)

F: but it's not impossible!

F then picked a 'combo-question': "do you use any perfumes? What are you crazy about now? What kind of BGM do you play at home?"

K: I don't use perfume. I have a bar soap I like, the old style one with an image of cow on it. It doesn't have a strong smell.

F: how about BGM?

K: I only play Fortnite. Ah, but now the Chinese buns skins are on sale. I've been playing for a year and only saw someone using it once. Somehow I like the least popular skin.

K: at home I also eat cookies. Chocolate cookies.

F: what kind/brand?

K: Any.

D: I use perfume / he said he got Fueguia (but then there was some thing wrong with the frangrance after a while, it went away???)

And no crazes or BGMs.

D: "when you travel on work to other cities, are your seats on bullet train decided? Do you sit next to someone?"

D: it's not really decided, we travel by ourselves (??), most of us prefer aisle seat. So I was surprised when once Shinya asked if we could swap so he can get the window side.

F: and you K, window or aisle?

K: Definitely aisle. If you're on the window side and someone next to you falls asleep it's really rude to wake them up if you need to get up. I prefer to be woken up than wake someone up.😇

D: There's also the table.

K: aaah, Shinya likes window seat so you could put the table down with some food on top of it and then pretend to be dead sleeping.😈

The change😂 he was laughing so much at the idea too😂

F: "what's your preference for the food at venues?" (??)

K: sushi.

D: like in Shinkiba.

K: yeah, I get so excited.

F: We also had sushi in the US.

K: We got it from a fan.

D told us a story how he was able to start eating eel/unagi, he doesn't like fishbones but once in Nagoya everyone was having hitsumabushi backstage and saying how good it is, so he tried and actually liked it.

F: "Did you watch any good movies recently? I watched Miike's 'Imprint'". Do you know this movie, K?

K: Yeah, it as good.

F: you watch movies often.

K: Recently I watched Rob Zombie's '3 from Hell'.

F: how about you, D?

D: a movie with Tachi Hiroshi, a new one, about yakuza (he didn't remember the title, but most likely ヤクザと家族 The Family (2021)).

F: "Do you have a favourite fruit?"

K: melon.

F: do you eat it at home?

K: no・食べない

F: do you eat it if it's backstage?

K: yes・食べる

F: but at home?

K: no・食べない

F: melon...

K: like・好き

👨‍👦

F: do you eat melons at home, D?

D: I don't.

T: "who do you like from Fist of the North Star?"

D: I saw it, but I don't remember details.

K gave a very detailed answer but as I haven't seen it I didn't really get it (the only name I caught was Shuren)😅 but he compared one character to F?😆

And then came Kyo's biggest laughing fit.

The question was about some story about other members they remember the most. Kyo talked about how once Kaoru had trouble with the mic stand and guitar cable, the cable got twisted around the stand and Kaoru ended up empty handed which Kyo found very amusing. Then Kyo just kept gesturing the 'round round・ぐるぐる' bit and he was laughing so much he started crying🤣

But then Die said he had a similar situation once and F replied he remembers that. Kyo burst out again and then it was also Die's turn to just lose it🤣

The laughers to the point of tears continued for a while as they tried to calm down😂

But then.

Then.

Suddenly the backscreen went black with a message 'battery empty, please change battery' and the venue that was giggling because of band members also exploded.

The timing was just too much🤣🤣🤣

F said it's time to finish anyway and asked them for the last comments for the fans, starting from Die.

Die: ... 🤣... can't think of... anything🤣...I'm crying🤣

F: ... let's go from Kyo

K: ... I don't have anything to say... all...

(a moment)

Kyo: I don't have any big message. But please wait a bit more for the new single. It will be like Taiyou no Ao 2.0, in a good way. ...or Taiyou no Ao remix.

Die: Thank you for coming today. ... I'd really love to do a normal tour soon, shows with audience. For now please enjoy the concert film from Rock-May-Kan, but in the future let's enjoy the show all together... I still can't stop tearing up🤣 ok, I'm done.

A marvelous ending of even more marvelous day😆💚❤️

[annab-nana]

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

[flippin-fins]

Forbidden

LadyNoir July 2021 Day 15: Forbidden

Read on AO3

A/N: Was I expecting to write an enemies to lovers AU? No. Did I panic and not get to the lovers part? Possibly. Stay tuned for either a future fic or a future day this month (Hello secrets!) for a continuation because who doesn’t love enemies to lovers?

When she’d first gotten her miraculous, Tikki had told her that Ladybug was supposed to be part of a pair, that she had a partner out there.

She still remembered coming home after that first fight, seeing the look on Tikki’s face and knowing the black cat she’d gone up against was supposed to be on her side

Every time she faced him a voice whispered in the back of her mind, ‘does he know?’

Ladybug knew it didn’t matter, but she still found herself wondering. What if it was different? What if we fought by her side, joining her in stopping akumas, working together against Hawkmoth?

She was relaxing in the shadow of a beam on the Eiffel Tower one evening when he found her. Ladybug had thought there would be no harm in taking a break during patrol, but her luck seemed to be saved for akuma battes.

Jumping to her feet, one hand on her yo-yo, Ladybug prepared herself for a fight, bracing for him to throw the first punch. She’d found it hard to fight him, to start their fights, knowing he was supposed to be her teammate.

“Relax, Bug,” Chat Noir laughed at her. “I’m not here to fight you, at least not tonight.”

She frowned at him, untrusting of his words.

“I usually come up here at night. Something about the lights, it calls me.” Ladybug wasn’t sure what the joke was, but he laughed quietly at something he’d said.

She crossed her arms, finally annoyed at his appearance. “So, what? I’m supposed to leave, even though I was here first, so you can what? Howl at the moon?”

Mimicking her stance, Chat Noir raised an eyebrow. “Really, howl at the moon? My other half can’t even come up with a proper cat joke?”

Her blood ran cold. So he did know. Not that it changed anything, apparently.

She stiffened as he moved, raising his hands in surrender.

“But I get it, I’ll let you have your space. Maybe in the future we can make a schedule. On Tuesdays you can have the tower, and on Thursdays I can. Something simple for you to follow.”

“And what if I want Thursdays too?” She didn’t know why she was responding, going along with his teasing.

“Why, Mlady,” he grinned at her as she bristled at the pet name. “I guess that’s what making a schedule is for.”

With that, he saluted and jumped off, his baton already extending underneath him.

She tried not to think about the fact that it was the longest conversation she’d ever had with him.

~~~

The small bell at the entrance to her shop jingled, and Marinette looked up in time to see Adrien holding up two cups of coffee. She smiled and waved him over behind the counter as she cleaned up her clutter.

“Why hello there. I thought you were doing a photoshoot for the next,” she checked her phone, “hour.”

“Well, Vincent said I was too much of a ‘deflated lasagna’ and sent me on my way. So I figured, what better way to spend my new free time than with my favorite person and her favorite coffee?”

Marinette snorted imagining Vincent’s remarks as she took a sip. Her boyfriend didn’t always have a lot of free time in her schedule, so she appreciated any opportunity she got to see him during the day.

Of course, it never felt long enough.

The couple jumped as their phones went off, and she sighed at the alert.

“Oh, I need to get home, you know my dad-” Adrien started heading out the door.

“Yeah, I should close the store and try to pull in some people to get them off the streets,” Marinette nodded, headed towards the back door of the store.

She turned as he slipped outside, Tikki floating infront of her. Calling her transformation, Ladybug raced outside.

She knew it wasn’t fair to be frustrated at people who were akumatized, but did Hawkmoth really need to target people during the only time she got with Adrien today?

“Why, Mlady! Long time no see!”

Ladybug groaned. Of course he’d be enthusiastic about this. He probably sat around planning how to get in her way, how to ruin her day.

She twirled her yo-yo, searching for the Akuma. Maybe today would be quick, maybe she could avoid going toe-to-toe with the cat for once.

~~~

Marinette grumbled as she slipped into bed. Adrien had gotten up early for that photoshoot and would probably be exhausted from his day, and the akuma battle had lasted far longer than it should have. Instead of a nice evening cuddled on the couch with a movie, she’d have to have an early night.

At least they had a moment before the akuma this morning.

Rolling on to her side, Marinette hoped that maybe tomorrow would be better.

~~~

As her feet touched down, she realized her favorite vantage point was occupied.

“Why, Bugaboo, if you wanted to see me so badly, you could have told me yesterday!”

She groaned, rubbing her face. “Chat, why are you here?”

“I told you,” he tapped the beam next to him. “A schedule.”

Sure enough, taped with probably an impressive amount of tape, was a piece of paper with days of the week written on it. If she squinted, there was a small black cat drawn under ‘Thursday’ and a red circle under ‘Tuesday’.

She turned to leave, but his voice stopped her.

“Does it ever feel overwhelming? The double life?” His voice was quiet, and Ladybug couldn’t figure out if he actually expected an answer.

She didn’t realize she just had to wait.

“I get you don’t want to answer me, identities and all, but you haven’t pushed me off this ledge yet. I just -” Chat paused, and Ladybug saw his shoulders fall. “I’m not going to talk about it to him, and I feel like you’d get it.”

She stayed silent, not knowing how to respond.

“I’m sure you know we could have been partners, should have been a team. I think in another life, that would be nice. Freeing.” He whispered the last word, as though it wasn’t meant for her.

He sighed. “It would be nice to not feel so alone.”

Finally overwhelmed, Ladybug stepped back. Since she’d arrived, Ladybug had felt like she’d been intruding on a private moment, and this was too far.

“It’s never too late, Chat,” Ladybug whispered, stopping herself from reaching out. She didn’t know if he was too far in his own thoughts to hear her. Throwing out her yo-yo, she turned to him. “For now, I’ll just try to keep to the schedule.”

Something about what he said stuck with her, but she let herself get caught up in the swinging of her yo-yo to let it simmer.

~~~

Marinette didn’t remember when it had gotten so hard. She knew Adrien was frustrated with how his father pushed him, all of these early morning photoshoots and late night events starting to run together, but he’d never taken it out on her like this.

She was exhausted, but it wasn’t like Marinette could tell her boyfriend it was because Hawkmoth had increased his akumazations recently.

She missed when their time together was with giggled stories and warm cups of coffee, instead of fights and empty apologies for missed dates.

It felt like Marinette blinked and suddenly he was gone, his voice asking for some time apart echoing around her apartment, inescapable.

Tikki’s soothing voice sounded miles away, and all Marinette hoped for was a reprieve from those poisonous butterflies.

~~~

He bared his teeth as he pushed the baton against her, pinning her down. He wasn’t usually so physical, preferring to let the akuma do most of the work, but today something was off.

There was a feral look in his eyes, and a ghosting of purple and black near the bottom of his mask.

Taken aback, Ladybug thought through their recent interactions. No, she couldn’t have caused that.

“Minou?”

He froze, tilting his head to the side. Had she said that out loud?

She didn’t let the thought fester, already pushing off of him.

Slipping out from under him, Ladybug stood up, already planning her next step to get past him, to purify the akuma.

~~~

This time, when he joined her at the Eiffel tower, she offered him a croissant. Her parents had insisted on giving her a box of pastries, and with no Adrien to share them with, she didn’t know what else to do with them.

Chat quietly took her peace offering, sitting against the beams, watching her.

Brushing crumbs off her, Ladybug tried to bite back a sigh.

“Sometimes I wish it was different.” She couldn’t bear to look at him, to watch the surprise cross his face. “We could’ve been partners, but instead this city expeccts me to protect it. Sometimes I just want to stay home, hide out in my room.”

She finally looked over at him, but he wouldn’t meet her eye.

“Sometimes I wish we were partners, but most of the time I just wish things were normal. I mean,” she rubbed her face, willing herself not to cry. “I couldn’t even take a couple of days to be sad about my relationship ending.”

“I didn’t know you were in a relationship.”

“Well, I’m not. Not anymore.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for a minute, and she worried she’d said too much. Paired miraculous or not, he was still her enemy. Although up here, with the iron structure and the stars to keep them company, she wasn’t sure that was true. Like she’d somehow entered a truce with him, without even realizing it.

“Ladybug.”

She turned to him, surprised at the use of her name.

“Why did you call me that?”

She frowned, trying to figure out what he meant.

“During the last akuma, you called me Minou. Why?”

“Is that not what you are? A cat?”

“But you called me a kitten.”

She tried to hide her grin. “Yes, a big scary kitten.” She saw him frown and continued. I saw your face. I know I didn’t give you that bruise, and I know the akumas usually leave you alone. I guess,” she sighed, deciding if it was worth admitting. “I guess I just realized you’re probably my age, that we’re too young to be doing this. Too young to have to grow up this fast”

She looked over Paris, wondering if she’d gone too far.

“It was from my dad,” Chat whispered, and Ladybug ripped her eyes off the city to look at him. “He was, ahem, less than pleased with my appearance, and wanted to make sure his frustration was noted.”

She frowned, trying to understand. “Is your appearance important?” He chuckled, and Ladybug’s eyes bulged as she realized what she’d said. “No, I mean, um, like, is your appearance part of your job or something? Why does he care?”

Chat’s eyes sparkled, like he was hiding another laugh in them. “Something like that.” She watched as his hand reached up to rub the back of his neck. “Can’t have less than perfect for the face of the company, even if my relationship had just ended. Can’t have just one day to myself.”

“I’m sure he’d be thrilled to know you’re spending your night high on the Eiffel Tower with me, instead of sleeping.” Ladybug pushed away the sensation at the back of her mind, like there was something she should note, something important.

“I mean me? With Paris’s sweetheart? I’m sure he couldn’t be too upset.”

“I’m pretty sure Paris’s sweetheart is Adrien Agreste.” Ladybug motioned to a billboard in the distance.

“Sure, Ladybug, if you think he’s a sweetheart,” he chuckled again, and Ladybug squinted, trying to figure out what was so funny.

She pulled out her yo-yo and startled at the time.

“Oh, I didn’t realize how late it’s gotten. I gotta go.” She stood, but turned to Chat. “Thanks for tonight. I think I needed it.”

“Me too, Bugaboo. Me too.” Chat stretched out, making no move to follow her. “Get home safe bug.”

In another circumstance, it would be a threat. But tonight, high above the city, it was just a goodbye.

“You too, Chat Noir.” She smiled at him one last time before swinging away, leaving her forbidden friendship behind her. At least for tonight.

[ororowrites]

By the Open Fire - Yahya x Black Character

I’m getting back into the writing spirit and decided to write a little Christmas one-shot about my latest celebrity crush. Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and Happy Holidays! 

Warnings: Very, very, light smut, fluffy as hell

Word Count: 2,664

Six months was entirely too long to be away from the love of her life. 

Candace tapped the tip of her pen against the blank page, hoping her writer’s block would magically disappear. Being an actress was so much easier than trying to write a novel. Why didn’t Candace just stick to her day job? Since the pandemic began, she was trying her hand at other talents and writing a novel seemed to be the one wish on her wish list that stood out. On top of Yahya being out of the country filming for most of the year, Candace was in search of a way to fight a depression that was on the brink of flooding her life. Her filming project had come to a halt until 2021 and she was stuck in her Manhattan apartment until it was safe to come out again.

Yahya would be home in a couple of days and Candace was looking forward to his arrival. So many months a part made her heart ache and the heart below her waist. After hundreds of facetime calls, numerous texts a day and a few Zoom sessions that included their shared friends, her man would be there in the flesh. 

“Fuck,” Candace cursed under her breath. The block wasn’t budging, forcing the actress to give up and retreat to the kitchen for wine. Her phone rang, interrupting her attempt to brainstorm for the next chapter in her book. “You always call at the perfect time,” she groaned at her twin sister on the other end of the line. 

“Candy, you can never just say hello like a normal human,” Trinity laughed. “But did mama call you with the latest gossip?” 

“No, but she’s been texting me all damn day. I’ve been busy so I haven’t checked them yet. Wassup,” she pressed, knowing the gossip was most likely church related. Their mother had been an usher at the same church since they were nine. 

“Girl,” Trinity exclaimed, before explaining the recent Chicago gossip. “Mrs. Jackson got caught cheating with James. Someone saw them out at the park together, kissing up on each other and all that.” 

“Ewww, in this panoramic,” Candace gagged. “I’m not shocked though. That old floozy was always flirting with daddy and almost made mama beat her ass one Easter Sunday. Remember that?” 

Trinity cackled, “Boooooy, mama was about to peel that woman’s skin back and break her neck. Ol’ girl was trying it that day and knows she is too old to still be acting like that. But enough about Florence, what have you been up to today? Ain’t your man on his way back to New York?” 

 Candace rolled her eyes because she knew where this conversation was going. Her sister had four children, leaving Candace the only childless sibling left in the pack of five children. 

“He’ll be back in two days and then we’re going to Colorado for Christmas. Since we can’t gather for the holidays, figured we’d go somewhere where we can safely distance ourselves but still get away. You know,” Candace said, swirling the wine around in her glass before taking a sip. 

“Mmmhhhhmmm. You gon’ get knocked up in them mountains,” Trinity added in a serious tone. “You two renting out a cabin or something up there?” 

“Ain’t nobody getting knocked up until she has a ring on her finger. Yes, we’re getting a cabin and just chillin’ out. Yahya has been working and needs a break. I’ve been....lonely.” Candace paced her kitchen, trying to think of an excuse to end this call before her twin irritated her soul. 

“Ya’ll haven’t seen each in months, he’s going to tear--” 

“Trin!” One major difference between the two of them was the lack of filter on Trinity’s part. The woman would say anything in front of anyone. “Look, I need to go straighten up before before Yah gets here. I’ll talk to you later?” 

Trinity sighed loudly on the other end because she knew her sister was rushing her off the call. Not liking people in her relationship business bugged Trinity because she was the nosey twin that wanted to know everything, much like their mother. “Well at least you won’t be needing to replace the batteries in that vibrator any time soon since the real Dr. Manhattan is back in the picture.” Before Candace could reply to the vulgar comment, Trinity squeezed out a quick ‘love you’ before hanging up. 

“Nasty ass,” Candace rolled her eyes and placed the phone back in the pocket of her jeans. 

The next two days were the same song. Candace’s brain did not want to focus on writing, so she eventually gave up and settled on online shopping to ease her frustration. The night her beautiful man was supposed to return, the actress fell asleep on the couch. His flight had been delayed by a couple of hours and he didn’t make it home until 3AM. 

He quietly entered the apartment, knowing Candace could never stay awake past twelve. The 6′3 actor, tip toed across the floor doing his best ballerina impression. Light snores could be heard over the infomercial playing on the television. She looked peaceful, almost child-like curled up on the sofa under her favorite coral throw. Yahya slowly leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Candace’s pouted lips. She stirred slightly, mumbling under her breath and fell back into a slumber. 

“Baby,” he sung into her ear, placing another kiss on her cheek. 

“Hmm.” Candace finally opened her eyes to see her Christmas gift standing right in front of her. Even with blurred vision, the smell of his cologne was a dead giveaway. She screeched and scurried to her feet to throw her arms around Yahya’s neck. Naturally, her legs wrapped around his waist as he rocked them back and forth. “I missed you so much.” 

“I missed you too,” he grunted, peppering Candace’s face in kisses. “My baaaaaaby,” Yahya sang as they fell to the sofa in a heap of long limbs. “It smells good in here, what you cook?” 

“Negro, you’re always looking for the food. Ol’ hungry ass,” Candace shook her head and playfully punched her lover’s bicep. “But, I saved you some fried rice and shrimp...homemade because that’s the only dish I’m good at.” 

“Oh, that’s not the only dish you’re good at,” he bit his lip, pulling Candace into a slow, passionate kiss, showing her how much he really missed her. With both of them being in the industry, they understood the heartache that came with being in a relationship and not seeing your significant other for weeks or months at a time. In this case, their time away from each other was extended due to the pandemic. “Mmmmm,” Yahya hummed into Candace’s lips before pulling away. He wanted to save the X-rated loving for their trip when he would have more time to rest and beat the severe jet lag from flying across the world for 12 hours. 

“We should get some food in this belly, babe,” Candace couldn’t contain the big cheesy grin that made her cheeks hurt. 

------- 

Christmas Eve 

Toni Braxton’s sultry voice filled the cabin as Yahya finished pouring the wine for their night cap. They had a busy day on the slopes trying not to kill themselves or break any bones. 

“Baby, where your fine ass at,” Yahya called out, making his way to the living room. The fireplace crackled, sending waves of heat throughout the cabin’s living area. The sun had set, but the mountains were still glowing against the dark sky. Their view was impeccable and the mood was set for a night of bonding and loving. “Candy, don’t make me come get you.” He warned playfully, sitting in front of the fire on their floor palette they had built earlier that night. 

“What was that,” Candace teased, stopping in the doorway getting a front row view of Yahya’s bare upper half. His back muscles bulged as he tended to the fire. 

“You back there sleeping, old lady,” he asked, with his back still turned away from her. 

“No, I was back there wrapping one last gift,” she replied, her voice dropping an octave prompting Yahya to turn around. 

His eyes almost fell out of his head, “Damn girl.” Pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, he moved forward, inspecting the gift that was screaming to be unwrapped. “This all for me?” 

“Every inch of it.” Her words almost came out as a moan. The way this man was eyeing her had moisture pooling between her legs. The fancy lingerie wouldn’t last long at this rate. Words became an afterthought when actions began to do all the talking. All it took was a soul turning kiss to send them both to the floor on their palette in front of the fireplace. Candace couldn’t tell if the fire had her skin tingling or the anticipation of having his hands rubbing over the most sensitive parts of her body. The wine and fruits sitting on the mantle quickly became an afterthought. 

For minutes, they enjoyed exploring each other and parts they hadn’t touched in months. Yahya was nestled between Candace’s thighs, both of them breathless and horny. Candace’s lace get up was quickly removed and thrown to the side. She giggled when his lips grazed her belly button, those giggles soon turning into pants and whispered obscenities. With gentle licks, he coaxed her clit out of its hood.

 Toys were fun but they weren’t the real thing and oh did she miss the real thing. See, the real thing knew exactly how to pull her close to the edge before sending her back. Her man’s skilled tongue sank deeper drawing intricate patterns in her center as she massaged the top of his head with her fingertips. 

Candace’s breath hitched in her throat and her thighs shook awaiting the impending release. “Jesus,” she moaned as her body suddenly felt light and her center thumped. 

“Still as sweet as I remember,” he grinned, kissing Candace’s inner thigh. 

Another track on their Toni Braxton Christmas playlist began to play and Yahya rested his head on Candace’s stomach. Time was precious and Yahya didn’t want to waste an ounce of the rare quiet moment they had. Soon, they’d both be filming again and the world would be back to normal. 

“What’s on your mind, baby,” Candace asked, her heart and breath back to a steady rhythm. 

“I don’t spend enough time with you. At least not lately,” he began. “I knew what I was getting into when we were back in school. Still makes me feel bad though.” 

“Yah, I enjoy all the moments that we do get to spend together. You’ve been working your ass off this year. Yes, I would love more times like this but we should also celebrate all your accomplishments. Because you’re doing the damn thang and I’m so proud of you.” 

“Thank you. You always say the right shit to get me together,” he chuckled. “Sometimes a nigga just be in his feelings and I missed the hell out of you those six months.” 

“Yeah, six months has never gone by that slowly. You should see my credit card statements. I’ve never purchased that many sex toys in my life,” Candace covered her face with her arm. 

“Word? Well.... you won’t be needing those sex toys for awhile.” 

A smirk formed on her lips when she felt him bump against her thigh, “No, no, you just sit back and relax. I got this.” Sitting up, Candace placed a hand on Yahya’s chest, prompting him to switch her spots. 

“You are beautiful,” Yahya’s eyes gleamed. After all these years, he could still make Candace blush like a little school girl. “Don’t hide that smile, girl.” His large hands massaged her thighs as she eased him inside of her. 

They both exhaled, letting Toni Braxton serenade them through the night.

--------- 

Christmas Morning

They had finally made it to bed and got a few hours of sleep before Christmas morning arrived and it was time to get up for their next day of adventures. 

First, they needed to re-fuel their bodies after the festivities that took place the night before in front of the fireplace and in the bedroom. The shower also got some of their loving that morning. Candace could hear Yahya singing his own version of Joy to the World while whipping up his famous oatmeal. That man never knew the words to any song but sung his own words with all the confidence in the world. 

“Yah, do you ever know the words,” Candace questioned, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before grabbing a bowl from one of the kitchen shelves. 

“Nope,” he replied in a matter of fact tone. “It’s the Abdul-Mateen version.”

“Uh huh, sure.” 

Over breakfast, they continued joking about Yahya’s talent of making up his own versions of songs. Joy and love was on full display. They had always been the couple to roast each other and the next minute adore each other like the two biggest saps in the world.. Their relationship was built on a strong friendship they developed while they were in film school before reconnecting a few years later. 

They walked a short distance to one of the coffee shops near their cabin to grab hot chocolate. It was a chilly 45 degrees, but to avoid sitting in the shop, they walked back to their rental, taking a scenic route that Yahya suggested. 

“If we get lost or I end up falling off one of these mountains, I hope my family doesn’t kill you,” Candace joked, admiring the beautiful scene before them. 

“Oh, I know where we are. I was out here early yesterday morning trying to find the perfect spot,” Yahya replied. 

“Huh, perfect spot for what?” 

He didn’t answer right away and instead reached for Candace’s hand, stopping her in her tracks. “Something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile.” Placing his cup on one of the rocks, Yahya pulled a box from his pocket and got down on one knee. 

“What...what...” For once, Candace was speechless and caught completely off guard. 

“It’s hard as hell to surprise you and I’ve been trying to think of the perfect time to do this without your nosey ass finding out.” Tears began to flow down Candace’s cheeks. “We’ve been at this for a few years and I’ve had some of my best moments with you by my side. I want to make what we have forever.” He opened the small box to reveal a beautiful emerald cut ring. “Say love... would you marry me?” 

Being the goofball that she was, Candace laughed between her tears “You’re trying to get me pregnant on this trip, aren’t you?” 

“Well that can be arranged if you say yes.” 

“Ye...yes, of course!” Her vision blurred as Yahya slid the rock on her finger and stood to his feet to kiss his future bride. Moments later Yahya’s phone rang with an incoming Facetime call. 

“Hey Trinity, hey moms,” Yahya cheesed, turning his phone to share the screen with Candace. “Looks like you two aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

“She said yes,” Trinity screamed, jumping up and down with their mother. “Aye, aye, ayyyeeeeee.” 

Still in complete shock and happiness overflowing, Candace shrieked, “Wait, you two knew about this the entire time!” 

“Yep! It’s been burning my ass to keep this secret from you all this time,” Trinity teased, sticking out her tongue. “He took mom with him to ring shop last year and everything.” 

“Welcome to the family, son. Congratulations baby,” Ms. Fredrick sang, clapping for the happy couple on the other end of the call. 

“Now, I hope you two are using protection out there because having a baby before the wedding is-” 

“Trinity,” Candace called out, shaking her head. 

They should have followed Trinity’s advice because approximately two months later..... 

Hope you all enjoyed! This is the first piece I’ve written in a year. I have no idea if I’ m going to continue the stories I began before my hiatus, yet. But, we will explore that in the coming year! Who knows, we may get more Candace and Yahya depending on how hard writer’s block slaps me. May the new year bring you all peace and joy! 

[mybg3notebook]

Lore: The Netherese in 1492 DR

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021. Detail: BG3 takes place in 1492 DR.

To understand what's the context around "Netherese magic" and, let's hope, its nature, I think it's of vital importance to know a bit about Netheril and what happened in recent years.

The game does a good job in showing us what happened with their fall at Karsus' hands. I explained in the post of "Well-known Characters" a good amount of information about him. His desire for godhood was a bit more complex than just wanting to be a god, even though the game shows it as blind arrogance and ambition: so far we know, it was Mystra who commanded her priests to spread this version of Karsus' Folly, as if he only wanted power alone. 

After Karsus' folly, all the floating cities of Netheril fell to the ground, destroying their population with them. However, only three cities were saved since they were too high in the air: their fall gave enough time for Mystra to be reborn in minutes and saved them. A fourth enclave, ruled by Telamont Tanthul—also called Lord Shadow—was teleported to the Shadow Plane (now called Shadowfell) days before the catastrophe. This was possible because Shadow Lord had been experimenting with the Shadow plane energies for a while. When he returned to Faerûn to see the aftermath of Karsus' folly, he recognised the need to stay in the other plane and gather strength to rebuild Netheril. After 1700 years, he started his plan for the return of his Civilisation in 1372 DR.

This is the context in which the trilogy of The Return of the Archwizards is set. This also belongs to 4e, which is one of the concepts that have annoyed more players, since this return made the Shadovars the Big Bad Evil everywhere. Maybe WotC wants to clean this aspect in the game. Maybe not. We don't know for sure. But we may suspect that Netherese people are returning in BG3: many details ingame keep giving context about them: Gale's explanation about Karsus' Folly, Excavation of the Enclave of Nhalloth (book), The Approachable East: Vol5 (book), and then the presence of Netherese magic not only in Gale's "orb" but in the tadpoles. 

I think it's worth checking the ingame book called “Excavation of the Enclave of Nhalloth”. Nhalloth was a Netherese city floating above the Sea of Fallen Stars in Faerûn. After Karsus' folly, it sank into the sea, claiming for some underwater creatures. As a consequence of the Spellplague, the geography changed, the waters lowered, and allowed a bit of exploration. Little was found, and explorers reported odd feelings and ghosts around it.

What do we know about the Return of Netheril in 1372?

These new Netherese people started to spread their influence in Faerûn, looking for Netherese old artefacts and spying on people and places that could possibly hinder their ultimate goal of creating a new Netheril in their image. But, were these people truly Netherese? The question comes from the fact that living creatures can't stay in the Plane of Shadow (currently merged with the Plane of negative energy which transformed it into the Shadowfell) without being affected by it. So, in an attempt to be short but still provide important facts I will numerate vital details of them that may become handy in BG3:

This floating city used to be called Thultanthar, and after its return, it's more commonly referred as the City of Shade.

Somehow, the Netherese people survived, and became more united and secretive.

Over 1700 years, each generation of these netherese people become more and more attuned to the shadow plane, some of them even turning into Shades: twisted, dark, humanoid creatures with longer lifespan than humans. Lord Shadow was still the main ruler of the City of Shade because he is now a Shade.

A big percentage of their population are worshippers of Shar.

The archwizards (ruling class) in the highest ranks are called Shadovars. Not every Netherese or Shade person is a Shadovar. Despite this, most folk refer to all Netherese as Shadovar nonetheless.

Most Shadovars are followers of Shar.

Shadovars are masters of Shadow Magic. It's a common mistake to think that Shadow magic is the same as Shadow Weave magic. Shadow Magic is magic using the energies of the Plane of Shadow. This can be done using Weave or Shadow Weave. Since most shadow casters are evil-aligned, Shar tried to offer them the Shadow Weave as a means to cast their magic without using the Weave (an element of a neutral-good aligned deity). This is related to the effect of worshipping without consent: Using the Weave is always a way to worship Mystra even if the caster wants it or not. This always gives power to Mystra. Shar created the Shadow Weave as a way to divert all those evil-aligned casters into her own worshipping. More details in the post of "Mystra and her Chosen ones"

With the return of the Shadovars, they tried to corrupt the recently recovered Weave and turn it into Shadow Weave. 

In 1487DR, Lord Shadow tried to gain the power of the Mythal of Myth Drannor, but Elminster killed him and the City of Shade fell upon Myth Drannor, destroying both cities.

However, this was not the end of the Shadovar. We may have some information about how they are in 1490s DR (let's remember BG3 is during 1492 DR):

Lord Shadow may be part of the Weave now (I have no idea why Ed said this. Lord Shadow was not a Chosen of Mystra, why would he be a weaveghost now?)

Two of his daughters and a Netherese arcanist survived: The sisters Lelavdra and Manarlume and the arcanist Gwelt have been calling themselves "The Three".

The Three have been collecting Netherese and others loyal to the Shade Empire from the ruins of the Citadel of the Raven in the western Moonsea region since late 1487 DR. They had collected at least 60 low level arcanists and 20 low born Netherese within a short period of time.

Gwelt was leading the hunt for others calling their group "The Court of the Three."

Their goals were supposedly to collect other Netherese, make allies, identify foes, take command of the remaining floating Netherese cities, and find a remote location to regroup and plan their re-emergence. It is unknown how far they have come.

Why all of this may be important?

Because part of this canon material may or may not be part of the story of BG3.

It's true that Larian has already changed some very consistent canon facts, such as the spell of the Hag eye (Ethel justifies her spell as a very personal customised one) or—the most impressive change—the Ceremorphosis process: Gale explains that the normal process removes the personality of the person in the sixth day after the infection, when in Forgotten Realms canon it should happen few hours after the infection. So my expectations for them to follow all canon material are not blind. They will change canon concepts as they think suitable, which is how DnD works. Still yet, it seems reasonable to read about all this in order to have a better context of what we will see, since the canon context is undeniably there.

Personally I always saw the presence of Netherese/Shadow Magic in the tadpoles as the intervention of Shar, but I never could find a group of mortals who would do that work and have such specific knowledge. We know that, with the exception of Mystra, contact with mortals is forbidden to all gods; therefore, Shar could not be the one to have approached these Mind Flayers. Now, the presence of the Court of the Three, working alongside or co-opting The Three Dead's plan seems a more reasonable possibility for me.

So far, what we know is that 

Shadow Magic is equivalent to Netherese Magic ( EA,  Ethel's words)

Shadow Magic is magic related to the plane of Shadows. This plane was altered by Shar when she merged the negative energy plane with it, causing the Shadowfell. The Shadowfell was Shar's realm for a while.

Shar was a great loser in the last edition. She could not change the Weave into Shadow Weave and become the greatest deity of magic as she planned. So she may want to counter-attack now.

Shadovars—who tried to help Shar in turning her into the Goddess of Magic—are masters of Shadow Magic and Shadow Weave magic.

The Shadow Weave was not destroyed, it's recovering at a similar pace to the Weave. 

The tadpole can't turn the host into a mind flayer because Netherese magic (the dream person) attached to it works as a stasis process. ( EA)

The Netherese magic—aka dream person—seems to restrain the Mind Flayer transformation while having strong connotations of Bhaalspawn essence. ( EA)

These small details may suggest that maybe the Shadovar are returning, or the three dead are using Shadovar's knowledge or vice versa. The possibilities are many and it seems hard to decide which ones are more likely since EA gives little information for such estimation. 

Sources: 

2e: Sea of Fallen Stars 3e: Lost Empires of Faerûn 4e: The Return of the Archwizards, The Herald, Grand History of the Realms Article: After the Fall by Ed. Greenwood: https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/after-fall

Ed Greenwood Twitter

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

[movie-magic]

Shang-Chi Shatters A Big Record As The Marvel Blockbuster Dominates The Box Office In Its Opening Weekend

In case you hadn't noticed, it's been a strange and often troubling time in recent weeks for movie studios to release big blockbuster titles. Rising numbers of the COVID-19 Delta variant has stunted box office potential, and it has resulted not only in subdued numbers, but we're also starting to once again see some notable upcoming features changing their release dates. Given this atmosphere, there has been a great deal of curiosity surrounding Destin Daniel Cretton's new Marvel movie Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings. Going into its theatrical debut, there were questions regarding how its performance would stack up within the legacy of the world's most popular franchise, and if it would meet the standard that has been set. Now we have an answer in the form of record-breaking Labor Day weekend ticket sales.

Check out the full Top 10 below!

1. Shang-Chi &The Legend Of The Ten Rings* $71,400,000 Total: $71,400,000

2. Candyman $10,550,000 Total: $39,063,370

3. Free Guy $8,719,000 Total: $91,893,081

4. Jungle Cruise $3,950,000 Total: $105,647,991

5. PAW Patrol: The Movie $3,695,000 Total: $30,019,661

6. Don’t Breathe 2 $2,210,000 Total: $27,990,920

7. The Suicide Squad $905,000 Total: $54,406,632

8. Black Widow $748,000 Total: $182,501,319

9. The Night House $552,000 Total: $6,297,926

10. The Protégé $525,000 Total: $6,891,230

As I noted in my column last weekend, the final weeks of August/early weeks of September are not seen as a goldmine for studios, as people typically have more things going on in their lives than seeing movies – and that goes a long way in explaining why the previous box office record holder for biggest Labor Day weekend was Rob Zombie's Halloween, which brought in $30.6 million on the holiday (Friday to Monday) in 2006. Of course, this year marks the first time that Marvel Studios has ever put out a new title in September, and their films have a history of upending what is considered normal. We'll have to wait and see what the final total is after audiences spend part of their day off tomorrow seeing the blockbuster, but obviously the $71.4 million already earned blows the previous #1 out of the water.

It's a wonderful albeit rare thing to see a film break a pre-pandemic record these days, though it should also be noted that Shang-Chi And the Legend Of The Ten Rings hasn't quite set mid-pandemic records. Instead, these opening weekend numbers mean that the film has to settle for second place when it comes to ticket sales since March 2020. It made enough money domestically to beat our Justin Lin's F9, which earned $70 million in its first three days in late June, but it fell just a tad short of the $80 million that fellow Marvel release, Cate Shortland's Black Widow, pulled in back in early July. As you can see, the latter is still hanging out with its franchise cousin on the Top 10.

As ever, it's definitely better too look at the performance of the new release in the context of other movies in the last few months, as the opening frame for Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings ultimately doesn't look all that impressive when you stack it up compared to all of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films going back to 2008. With its take, the film sits just outside the Top 20 opening weekends in the franchise, having made just a few million less than what Peyton Reed's Ant-Man And The Wasp earned in summer 2019. It does sit ahead of all of the non-Iron Man Paramount releases – including Kenneth Branagh's Thor ($65.7 million), Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger ($65.1 million), and Louis Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk ($55.4 million) – and also Peyton Reed's Ant-Man ($57.2 million).

What should also be noted is that Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings, unlike Black Widow, was not given a hybrid release by Walt Disney Pictures, and is currently only available to watch in theaters. This in mind, there are going to be a lot of industry eyes on how well the film performs next week. Black Widow notoriously saw its numbers drop off in a crazy way in its sophomore weekend, and much of the blame has been put on the fact that the movie was available to watch via Premier Access on Disney+ (the suggestion being that the majority of people not clamoring to see it opening weekend on the big screen were happy to settle for a viewing in their living rooms instead). Its performance could actually add an interesting wrinkle to the on-going lawsuit that Scarlett Johansson filed this summer, so be on the lookout for updates on that story.

Simu Liu as Shang-Chi in Shang-Chi And the Legend Of The Ten Rings

Unsurprisingly, no other studio dared try to put out their own new wide release to compete with Shang-Chi And the Legend Of The Ten Rings, and while that led to somewhat depressed box office numbers over all, the films from August are continuing to pull in money from theaters. At the front of the line is Nia DaCosta's Candyman, which only dropped 52 percent in its second weekend, and added another $10.6 million to its domestic haul.

You may remember that Candyman impressively overperfomed when it debuted, pulling in $22.4 million in its first Friday-to-Sunday, and it was able to still find a solid number of people to scare even while going up against a well-reviewed franchise juggernaut. The horror film has now made $39.1 million at the domestic box office, which means that it has surpassed the total made by Bernard Rose's original during its entire theatrical run in 1992 (though that doesn't account for inflation). With its $10.9 million take abroad, the release has eclipsed $50 million worldwide.

Two of the most impressive performers right now, however, are Jaume Collet-Serra's Jungle Cruise and Shawn Levy's Free Guy. Both movies have been around since the first half of August, and they are holding on tight to their respective spots in the Top 5. Neither release had crazy splashy debuts, as neither managed to make over $35 million in their first three days, but they've continued to bring in money while other new releases have floated down to the bottom of the chart.

When it comes to the conversation surrounding hybrid releases, Jungle Cruise has been a bit of an anomaly, as it remains available via Premier Access on Disney+, but it has continued to bring audiences to the big screen. Not only has it made $105.6 million in North America, but it has also earned $86.9 million from overseas ticket sales, bringing its global total to $192.5 million. That puts it on the worldwide Top 10 for 2021.

Free Guy, meanwhile, is doing even better. Like Shang-Chi, the video game-inspired Ryan Reynolds comedy is only available to watch on the big screen, and the buzz surrounding it has continued to draw in audiences. The $8.7 million it has brought in since Friday brings its domestic total up to $91.9 million, and when combined with the $147.4 it has made abroad the film's global box office total balloons to $192.5 million.

Looking ahead, will Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings be able to hold on to its box office crown when James Wan's Malignant arrives this Friday, or will the enigmatic horror film become a massive early fall surprise?

[the-official-pentacorn]

my 2021!

*crawls out of hole* hrmf must return to tumble to make year end post

this has to be the first time in at least half a year that i’ve opened tumblr desktop lol. i’m barely on here anymore but @the-last-airbadger​ did a reflection post and well, here we are somehow

the beginning of 2021 vs now

like i said in my last reflection post, i have horrible memory (which i now know is rampant adhd, bless) but i’ll try my best to remember some stuff.

if anything, the beginning of the year was shit. all of us got covid in late january and my dad ended up in the intensive care unit where he could have honestly died. in hindsight i was also still struggling with body image a lot. i actually started recording yearly new years video messages to myself last year, and today when i watched that video it reminded me of the mental place i was in... which wasn’t great. i was also going through friendship drama because of a dumb crush, which looking back now might have just been... adhd hyperfixation but on a person (that diagnosis really put some things into perspective this year). and on top of everything i was gearing up for 6 months of online classes from Korea, shitty timezone struggles included, instead of the 6 months in-person exchange i’d been looking forward to for ages. i did dye my hair though! but that just turned out ugly as well so it was a waste of both my money and hair lol.

BUT! summer was when i shined. she was living her hot girl era and doing her hot girl shit including but not limited to:

1. impulse buying anything and everything!

2. shaved off half my brows lol

3. outrageous makeup looks

4. had a gender crisis and impulsively cut off all my hair (regret)

5. barely slept

6. suddenly very social and outgoing

...which is just giving mania but that’s a bag of worms for another time lol. but i did have a really good summer considering i only had 2 weeks of break before crashing right into my 3rd year fall semester. then came fall and winter and my mood came down with it, and these last 3 months have sucked all the life out of me again. switching back to physical classes after a year and a half was both a blessing and a curse. on the flipside i could actually see friends, participate in class, and feel like a kinda normal uni student for once. on the downside... my mondays were insanely long which wiped me out for the rest of the week, not even considering all the readings and assignments i had to do for my shitty management minor that i should have just not chosen but for some reason did. christmas break should have been my first real break since february, but i’m already gearing up for resits in january and an essay as well. i’ve been in full on vegetable mode this last week (only half by choice). i guess i have to start doing stuff again starting tomorrow... someone help

but yeah, i guess i did grow as a person a little bit? i did try a lot of stuff i’ve wanted to try for a while at least. and i also took the first steps toward finding out what’s actually up with me and my mental health by getting checked for adhd (and autism) which i think counts for a lot.

the best things about 2021

there’s a few things that were really good this year. i recently received news that i got accepted for 3 months study abroad in Korea at my no.1 university pick next year, which is one of the major things keeping me going. summer was also really fun, i went out with friends a lot to theme parks, zoos, the beach, you name it. i also met 2 exchange students from Korea who I became good friends with and who helped me improve my Korean a lot (and me their Dutch). another thing is that i fell head first back into my k-pop hobby (i mean what else was going to happen being online so much) and met new friends and reconnected with old friends through it. starting an ateez collection... good for the serotonin, bad for the bank account. i’m proud of finishing my 6 months online with high marks. and lastly, finally getting my adhd diagnosis has helped me a lot, both on a personal level and academically.

my resolutions for 2021

i didn’t have many resolutions for this year. the ones i did have were:

1. get to know myself better

2. take a few more scary steps towards adulthood

3. continue making an effort to be kind to myself and others

i think i did get to know myself a lot better. steps towards adulthood... i’m afraid i haven’t taken many, but i am thinking a little more long term now and i’m slowly becoming less freaked out about the future. i’m lucky i don’t have to worry about stuff like taxes yet tho. and i’d like to think i’ve been pretty kind to myself this year, everything considered. i hope my friends feel loved as well, because yes, you very much are ♡

my expectations for 2021

well, my expectations fell through almost completely:

1. i’ll move out sometime this year

2. i’ll get a parttime job if covid allows

3. reliable vaccines will get accessible for everyone sooner rather than later

4. my university will greenlight our summer trip to Korea 🤡

5. i’ll get a lot better at Korean through the 6 month language course

6. i’ll get a girlfriend 🤡

this year has left me no mental energy to do anything outside of school. so moving out, a job, a girlfriend (lol) understandably didn’t happen. covid screwed up the Korea summer trip, and i didn’t improve much at all over those 6 months because of multiple reasons. the only thing that kind of happened was vaccines rolling out, but compared to the rest of the world we were really slow to vaccinate.

2022 resolutions/expectations

i’m usually not big on resolutions, but i guess i do have some for next year. first of all, i want to actually start planning with the system my psychologist gave me and start getting a little more organized. i also want to get at least a 7 for my bachelors thesis and finish all my courses this year, whatever it takes. i want to push myself to at least start tasks and work on them little by little, instead of leaving everything to the last moment. i would also love to replace basically my entire wardrobe because it’s full of old stuff i don’t actually like. also i need to be more careful with my money. and of course the usual, be kind to myself, appreciate the world and others, etc etc.

as for expectations. hm. if anything, i don’t expect the covid situation to get much better because people are the worst. i expect to go to Korea for my study abroad if the universe has mercy on me. i also expect to finish my bachelors programme (preferably with okay grades). ooh, and if covid doesn’t fuck everything over, i’ll be going to the ateez concert in february (with a vip ticket if i’m lucky!) which will be the best. 

friend shoutout!

don’t really feel like tagging, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are. i love you and i appreciate you so much. i can be a lot to deal with sometimes and i really wonder what i did to deserve you all. let’s make 2022 a year that doesn’t suck :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!

[rinusagitora]

You’re in all my dreams.

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Karin Kurosaki, Toushirou Hitsugaya, Momo Hinamori, OC- Mae Izumi

Pairings: HitsuKarin

Words: 2.2k

Summary: Shinigami!Karin AU. For HitsuKarin Week 2021. WARNINGS- mentions of suicide, dysfunctional families; Karin graduates Shin'ou and shares her dreams with Toushirou.

AO3

For the last six years, Karin dreamed of the day she’d graduating from cadet to officer and don the shihakusho like everyone she ever admired.

It was an anxious future filled with wonder and promise she never knew back in the World of the Living. Going from cadet to captain of a small force was going to be quite the culture shock, perhaps even more than the cold water of the river where she drowned. But she made it, and it made her much more confident in her ability. Officers were chosen from a pool of graduates and turnover was infrequent since few officers passed away in peacetime. It made competition fierce and even rarer that a graduate obtained a seated position out of the gate.

She was equal parts nervous and excited. For the time being, all Karin wanted to do was enjoy the graduation bonfire.

Mae toppled onto the log, sloshing rice wine onto Karin’s lap. She laughed. “I’m sorry! I’m sooo hammered.”

“No worries. I think I’ve puked on you more times than you’ve spilled on me.”

“Indeed, we swapped roles tonight.” Mae tapped Karin’s nose. “Tonight, of all nights, you choose to be reserved. Why?”

Karin hummed and swirled beer. “I’m nervous, I think.”

“It’s a big change.” Mae looked over the crowd. “Where are Hinamori-fukutaichou and Hitsugaya-taichou? I expected them, of all people, to be here.”

Karin’s reikaku grazed the crowd. Momo was there, just chaperoning. Keeping firelight between bodies like a puritan. Perhaps rightfully so. They were the new faces of the Seireitei. It was better not to romp in the woods right over poison ivy before recruitment day. Pussy itch was a different kind of awful. The kind of awful where Karin, who was once impaled, ended up curling up on the floor crying while Izuru healed her crotch and Shuuhei and Renji laughed in the next room.

The crowd parted for Momo like river water around stones. She stopped before Karin, and Karin smiled at her mentor. “Hi, Momo-senpai.”

Mae nodded. "Hinamori-sama."

"Izumi-chan, I hope you're enjoying the festivities."

"Oddly enough. It's strange letting loose… but I see where Karin-chan's alcoholism comes from. Dancing while intoxicated is liberating."

"Indeed." Nonetheless, Momo cocked her head and curiously looked over Karin. Karin knew the jig was up from there. She and Ryuuji were normally in the center of the action, and Karin hadn't so much as howled or toasted once that evening.

“Leave us, Izumi-chan.”

Mae managed to right herself and bowed to excuse herself. Gracefully, Momo took a seat beside Karin as she cursed internally. She didn't want to talk about it, but Momo always dragged out her bad feelings and laid them in the open.

“It’s odd you’re not out enjoying the festivities. This is your… thing.”

“It’s just really hitting me that I’m going to be a shinigami,” Karin told Momo. “I’ve been working toward this goal for six years. What do I do from here?”

Momo laughed. “Six years is a blink of an eye for the majority of us.” She held Karin’s shoulders. “There will be plenty to do, Karin-chan.”

“I can’t believe we’re all in a squad just after graduation, though.”

“Who? Izumi and Kawashima?” Karin hummed affirmatively in response to Momo, who then grinned. “Believe it or not, Iba-taichou wanted Watanabe. I think Watanabe is in for a reality check.”

“You are far too happy over that.” Karin couldn’t help but share Momo’s thrill, however. Chousuke Watanabe was a thorn in her side for six years, being her friend Ryuuji’s tormentor. Tetsuzaemon would straighten him out. The very picture of manhood and chivalry according to Momo. It was far too rewarding imagining Chousuke getting reamed by a six-foot wall of meat and battle scars.

"Bias is something I never shied away from. It's been a driving force in my life, for better or worse." Momo kissed Karin's forehead. "For best, in your case. You've been family since the moment I laid eyes on you, Karin-chan. My own in many ways. Every obstacle you've faced, you've overcome, and are better for it. I am so proud of how far you've come, and I'm so glad to have played a part in it."

Karin smiled bashfully. At least she had Momo.

Momo lovingly jostled Karin. There it was. Momo buttered up Karin just enough and was about to get her to bust open a can of worms. "What's on your mind?"

"I just… I thought Toushirou would be here. I haven't seen him all day today."

"I'm not supposed to tell you, but," Momo whispered, grinning, "he's preparing something special. Be patient."

Her heart pattered. "Oh." Of course he was. She was a little ashamed that hadn't occurred to her earlier as if they hadn't developed years of trust and affection, or at least a solid friendship. Nonetheless, Momo stroked Karin's hair, reminding her she was only human, that something so little wouldn't ruin everything.

Speaking of… Karin picked up on a familiar, icy reiatsu approaching. It was Toushirou, still in uniform. She smiled and Momo tapped her on her nose.

"See?"

"Not yet, but he's coming." Momo only rolled her eyes in response to Karin's lame joke.

"I'll leave you now. Enjoy your night, Karin-chan."

"Thanks, Senpai. I love you."

"And I love you."

Toushirou was still in uniform with his hands tucked into his sleeves. As he passed, Karin's fellow cadets parted and bowed to him. He ignored the attention, however, instead sporting a smile as he found Karin on her log.

He'd undergone hormone therapy in recent years to trigger a growth spurt. And he'd grown up to be a handsome young man, with looks rivaling stars in the World of the Living with access to renowned surgeons.

"I hope you've been enjoying yourself," he said. He took a seat next to her. He smelled like flowers. "I never attended these things, truthfully."

"Did you want to try dancing?" Karin asked.

"Well… I don't know," he said. Toushirou pulled a modest bouquet of daffodils from his sleeve, tied off with a turquoise ribbon. "It's not a big gift, I know, but I hope it reminds you that you're always welcome in juubantai."

Gingerly, Karin took his bouquet and smelled them. They smelled like spring. "I love them," she said. "Thank you."

She pressed a kiss against Toushirou's cheek, and he happily hummed. "I'm glad you like them. It's hard buying gifts for you."

"As if."

"It's true," he replied. "All Matsumoto wants is a day off, Hinamori loves spices and tobacco, and the boys are happy with some sake. You, on the other hand, easily get your hands on sake and tobacco, and hate downtime." Toushirou crossed his legs. "I should've consulted my sister."

Karin frowned. "But I like them…"

"The flowers? But they're such a lazy gift," he scoffed.

"I like everything you give me." She smiled. "Really, thank you. I love them."

He laughed bashfully. "Well, I'm glad."

Together they sat amid drums and singing and firelight, swaying with it, until Toushirou asked, "I don't want to take you from your friends, but I’m not enjoying myself here. Do you mind going elsewhere?"

"We can leave," Karin said. "Where do you want to go?"

"Someplace quiet where we can see the stars."

Her cheeks were warm at the idea. How romantic.

Karin bashfully followed behind Toushirou, holding his hand as he guided her away from the bonfire. When it was dark, he illuminated the way with kidou, assured in every step. A gorgeous man. He'd grown into his looks. His cheekbones were high, his shoulders broad. She could swoon until early morning over his handsome shape.

Up a hill, through a grove, and up a steep path, until they reached the peak of a sheer cliff. The stars above looked like a river of life. They didn't twinkle but were a steady pathway carved in the sky. Karin fell onto the grass and marveled. "Wow. When did you find this, Toushirou?"

"Not long ago. I wouldn't keep this from you  without a good reason." He smiled at her. Sitting, he said, "Do you like it?"

"Yes!" Karin nigh tackled Toushirou and kissed his cheek. "It's beautiful."

"I should've brought wine."

"This is perfect." Karin laid her head on Toushirou's shoulder. Together they stared into the stars. She searched for constellations but found none she recognized. "Do you think the World of the Living and the Soul Society have different stars?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. No one spends time looking up in the Soul Society. Those who do, don't seem to have the technology contributing to significant findings," Toushirou replied. "I'm not much of an astronomer either."

"You're a man of the law."

He laughed bashfully. "Aye."

Karin drew pictures in the stars herself. Birds, men, kitchenware, like she remembered from her human life not so long ago. Six years was nothing compared to how long her peers lived, was it? Not Momo, who was approaching a century and a half. Not even Toushirou, well into his seventies by that point. But Karin couldn’t remember the names of the stars or where to find them in the sky. How much longer did she have until she overwrote their patterns with other things? How much longer until her sad mortal history was forgotten in a sea of everything else?

There weren’t immediate answers to her questions, but Karin was fine with that. She said, "I remember hoping a rope would drop from the sky and drag me by the neck. Put me out of my misery."

"Understandable," Toushirou replied.

"I'm so much happier here. It's not always easy, but..."

"Slow and steady?"

"Yeah. Slow and steady wins the race. And I'm glad to be with you for it."

"So," Toushirou said, "no more sky-ropes to hang you until you're dead?"

She giggled. "Not anymore. I don't fancy myself a pirate, anyway."

He hummed. "I had a dream some time ago. Similar to yours... although I remember it being less grizzly," Toushirou confessed. She pulled her gaze from the starlight and saw him cloaked in darkness. Still, his eyes shined with wonder. Adoration. "A dream that assured me you're the love of my life."

"Go on," she said.

"I was being puppeteered by the sky. Dragged around day in and day out. And I saw the strings on you, into the sky as far as my eyes could see. And yet despite time, and fate, and all the horridness that plagued life for some time, we fought to be together." He clasped her hand. "Our strings became tangled and pink like cherry blossoms in spring. Like sunset. And... and I never want those strings freed." His blue-green eyes met hers. They made her melt like her body was hot wax in a leather bag. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Karin."

It felt like forever before she caught her breath. She asked, "Are you proposing?"

"If that's all it takes to spend the rest of my life by your side, and you at my side, I'll fetch a ring now. Propose properly in front of as many people as you like.”

Karin giggled. Picturing Toushirou hopping onto a bar counter, sake raised high, and screaming how deeply he was in love with Karin to their loved ones and peers, was quite a sight to behold! Yet, as anxious as he was to do so, she replied with, "Not at all. But let's make plans down the road. When I'm settled in."

"Of course." Toushirou sighed happily. They kissed. "I'm so in love with you, Karin."

"And I love you."

"I could stay here forever."

Karin hummed. “We have forever to do that…”

He turned to meet her gaze. “But?”

“I want to do more.” She sat up. “We work because we’re more than just lovers. We’re friends, confidants, partners. Warriors and artists and scholars.”

“Of course,” he agreed, propping himself on his palm.

“I want to be married, and I want forever with you, as much as I want-”

Toushirou said, completing Karin’s statement, “More.” He held her hand then. “It’s one of the reasons I love you. My recruitment was necessary. Yours is nothing but-”

“Desire.” She gazed into the stars, searching for divination in the blanket covering a slowly rotating plane.

“Then what more do you want?”

“To give justice and safety to those who have been and yet to be hurt. No one should suffer as I, and we have. I want to tear down the caste system here. Hold nobility responsible for their actions and give power back to the people, and eradicate the symbols of fascism and cruelty. I want to reconnect families. To make the Rukongai safe, so no one’s starving or resorting to crime to survive. And…” Karin turned to Toushirou, her breath stilling as she saw his eyes swimming with adoration. “And I want to mold the next generation to dream as I now dream, and to better the world. And I want to do all of it with you beside me, Toushirou. As equals.”

Toushirou cupped her cheek. He kissed her, and she held his sleeve. “Let’s do it. Together,” he said. Their foreheads touched. “Together always.”

[fandomsnchaos]

Okay, i've written fanfics before, but they're either angst, really really soft fluff, or just pure chaos/joking but anyways, have some chaos Reed900! (side note: there will be a lot of cussing, just letting you know! also slight NSFW?)

word count: 2021

Gavin had been working with an android for a while now, the android was known as RK900 or Nines as Gavin called him. He got used to him slowly, took a bit getting pass the harsh vocabulary Gavin had. Some nicknames stuck though, like Tin-can, Plastic Prick, even Coffee Machine was still fired at the war machine. Nines never paid much attention to the feisty human's words, of course occasionally he'd fire back. They had a relationship that was pretty interesting and intense. They even fought physically before, Gavin never won them, of course getting in a fight with a machine that was built for war, what did you expect? As time went on they hung out a lot and actually talked, but recently, some playful and flirtatious banter along side leaving a jacket in Gavin's room, may have made a new couple.

Reed was sitting outside his apartment complex smoking when he heard the door open. He ignored it not really giving a shit of who was leaving until he saw the tall android wearing his normal white and black suit with that stupid glowing blue triangle and arm band. "What do you want, Tin-can?" Gavin glanced at him before watching the robotic cars drive by again. He puffed on his cigarette. "I came out here to check on you, detective." Nines spoke, looking at Gavin. He held his arms behind his back standing up straight, which made him look much taller than Gavin. "Great. You can leave now." Gavin blew smoke into the air. Nines was about to speak again, but decided to reconsider his words. He loved the on and off banter they had but he had to admit, even though he's a tough guy, he still cared deeply for Gavin. Instead of bashing Reed and insulting him harshly as he occasionally did, he decided on a more flirtatious route. "You know you love me, you would miss me too much if I left." The android finally spoke. Gavin rolled his eyes as he put out the cigarette. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Gavin walked back inside the apartment heading to his flat, Nines following closely.

Gavin sighed in relief as he laid on his bed. He noticed Nines enter the room and lean against the door frame. "Do you wear anything else or just that stiff ass suit?" Gavin asked as he sat up on the bed. "I can. I wear this as it is what Cyberlife made for me." Nines spoke. "I've seen Connor wear hoodies, why don't you?" Gavin was genuinely curious of the androids style. "Connor gets hoodies from Hank, not that I'd personally wear a hoodie, I could, but I'm more comfortable with something like a turtleneck." Nines smiled softly. He liked seeing Gavin being curious. He knows Gavin wouldn't admit it, but he liked seeing him want to learn more about his partner. "Huh." Gavin looked Nines up and down. "I have a turtleneck on underneath this suit actually." Nines said as he started to take off the jacket. Gavin watched, slight panic setting in. Nines sat beside Gavin on the bed wearing the turtleneck he said he had on. Gavin blushed softly but for a human it would be difficult to tell as the lights were off except the hallway light that shined through the open door. Nines looked at Gavin. "You're silent, are you okay?" He asked scooting a bit closer to the human. Gavin scoffed. "Yeah? Why do you keep asking me that, plastic prick? It's getting annoying!" Nines smirked wanting to pick on the human more. "I'm your partner, it's my job to not only help you, but make sure you're safe and okay." Gavin tried to push the android away. "Fuck you're heavy. Most police department partners don't sleep in the same place!" Nines chuckled. "Even if they're married or a family?" Gavin glared at him. "I said most, dumbass." Nines moved causing Gavin, who still was pushing as much weight he could onto the android, to fall over on the bed. "You say dumbass as if I don't have more information in my software that your brain wouldn't be able to handle." Gavin sat up again. "Either leave or sleep out there. If you even do sleep." He said laying down again this time hiding under the covers. "Night, Reed." Nines said as he walked out the room. Gavin peaked out from the covers watching the door shut and listening to the android walk away. He noticed Nines jacket laid on his bed. He grabbed it debating on getting up and giving it back to Nines. He held it close getting hit with that cool, comforting feeling. He held it close and laid down closing his eyes. He held the jacket to his face covering his face with it making sure he could still breathe while also feeling the cool touch. He fell asleep feeling the comfort and security of something so useless and boring but so worth it.

As the morning slowly creeped into the morning, Nines walked into Gavin's room. He had knocked before a couple times, but no answer. He saw his jacket wrapped around Reed. Nines smiled and sat on the bed once again. "Gavin, get up. It's time to get ready for work." He nudged him a bit. Gavin groaned and hid under the covers. Nines thought for a second and got up. He faced Gavin and started to caress his face. "Trash panda, get up." Gavin opened his eyes slightly. When he saw Nines he sat up backing away. "Jesus..fucking christ Nines!" Nines laughed. "Sorry, it was too fun of an idea not to try!" Gavin shot a cold glare a the android. "See you have my jacket. I need that." Nines smiled. Gavin looked at the jacket and handed it to Nines. "Fuck off." He got up finally.

As Gavin got ready and even at work Nines had been picking on him about falling asleep cuddling his jacket, Nines even told Tina who helped joke about it. Gavin was annoyed. He sat at his desk pretending to do work, not that anyone fell for it, trying to think of ways to get back at his partner Nines and his childhood friend Tina. Nines walked over to him handing him a cup of coffee. "You're not very good at faking work." Gavin looked up at him taking the coffee. "I don't really care." He took a drink of his coffee before setting it down on his desk. Nines sat on the desk as he occasionally did. "Are you really annoyed about this that much?" He asked smirking. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I do plan on getting back at you." Gavin looked at Nines. "Stop looking so smug too, you always look so confident with yourself." He leaned back in his chair. "That's cause I am. There's not really anything that can make me embarrassed." Nines kept the smirk on his face. "Sure. Even if you are an android, something has to embarrass you." Gavin said not buying it. "If you think of something, let me know." Nines stood up standing by Gavin's side. Gavin sighed and started to actually do work.

Gavin and Tina were in the breakroom talking. Gavin noticed Connor walk in to get coffee for Hank. "Hey, maybe he could help you mess with Nines!" Tina said motioning to Connor. "Maybe." Gavin replied. He walked over to Connor. "Hey, Connor." Connor looked at Gavin. "Yes, Reed?" He tilted his head a bit, listening to Gavin. "Do you think you can tell me something about Nines he hasn't told anyone else?" He smirked. "Like?" Connor was curious. "A secret? Come on dipshit, tell me something." Gavin leaned on the counter. "Sorry, detective but I don't know any secrets from him. Why though? Why do you want a secret?" Connor grabbed the coffee. "No reason." Gavin sighed walking away. Connor was confused, his LED clearly showing that. He shrugged it off and went back to Hank. "Nothing?" Tina asked. "Sadly." Gavin responded. She sighed. "Well good luck, I have work to do." She smiled and walked off. Gavin watched her walk off. He went back to his desk where Nines sat looking through cases. Gavin leaned on the chair. "What are you looking at?" He asked. "Old cases and files. Just got curious I guess." Nines leaned back in the chair looking at Gavin. Gavin had made eye contact with Nines, seeing the piercing grey-ish blue eyes made Gavin's heart skip a beat. He got a bit flustered. Nines smirked his eyes trailing to Gavin's lips. "I saw some old DPD pictures of you." He looked back at Reed's eyes. "Were you always this pretty or what?" He spoke in a more seductive tone. That had caught Gavin off guard. He backed away blushing. "Excuse me?!" Nines laughed. "What the hell, tin-can?!" Gavin wanted to fire back but was too much of a mess to think of anything. Nines stood up. "You're pretty. Take the compliment." Gavin didn't know what to say. "Screw you!" He said glancing at the seductive android beside him. "When?" Nines fired back. Gavin nudged him and sat at his desk. "Just shut up, fucking plastic asshole." Nines smiled leaving him alone for a bit.

Their shift ended and Gavin started to head home with his loyal android following him of course. It started getting kinda cold so Gavin hugged himself trying to keep himself warm. Nines had noticed it. "Come here." He said wrapping an arm around Gavin. He started heating himself up to warm up Reed. Gavin looked at the android. "Why don't you have a car or something you can ride to work and back?" Nines asked looking at the human. "Uhm." Gavin looked away. "It's a long story." Nines just nodded respecting Gavin not wanting to talk about it. When they got to the apartment Gavin entered his flat. Nines moved away from Gavin, taking off his jacket again. Gavin watched eventually slowly moving over to his android. He hugged him softly trying to keep up his tough persona, but that didn't last long. "You're warm." He mumbled. Nines kinda froze. He looked at his partner that had now nuzzled his face into the machine's chest. 'There's not really anything that can make me embarrassed.' Nines remembered saying those words. Although he wouldn't say embarrassed, he was flustered. Nines eventually wrapped his arms around Gavin resting his chin on his partner's head. "You're like a heater." Gavin spoke his eyes closed. His shoulders dropped as he started to relax. Nines made Gavin look up at him. Gavin's grey eyes meeting with his grey-ish light blue, practically hypnotizing eyes. "You're a bastard." Gavin chuckled. "You're a prick!" Nines pushed Gavin off him slightly. Gavin tried to attack back but was picked up by the much more stronger android. He was forced over the android's shoulder. "Hey! Fuck you!" Gavin tried to fight back but of course didn't win. Nines dropped him on the bed. "Feral." He crawled on top of him. Gavin blushed backing away. "Wait wait." Nines stopped and looked at him. "Are you okay, detective?" He asked, concerned for him. "Yeah, that just caught me off guard." Gavin sighed relaxing again. He looked at Nines giving him the signal to continue. Nines crawled back on top of Gavin. "May I?" He asked wanting to make a move. Gavin smirked. "Go for it." Nines pulled Gavin a bit closer leaning in to kiss him. As he did Gavin eventually pulled Nines down keeping him close. He wrapped his legs around the android's waist as Nines started to play with Gavin's hair. They pulled away finally, Gavin catching his breath. Nines got off him and pulled Gavin close to him. "Sucks to have to breathe doesn't it." Gavin rolled his eyes. "Shut up." Nines chuckled. "Hey, I can go on as long as you need me to." Gavin moved away from him. "Prick." Nines cuddled Gavin again. "Feral." Gavin smiled softly letting himself relax again and fall asleep finally.

(sorry if this is a mess, it's 7:14 AM as i write this and i haven't slept, uh, yeah, hope you enjoyed!)