#though the majority of the game has been crazy difficult on veteran

[efingcod]

Stealth

[centaurianthropology]

Far-Too-Specific Predictions for Critical Role C3 that will Absolutely be Wrong (but I like)

Setting and Flavor

I would love to see a group of veterans after a massive war that left both sides devastated.  Matt likes to play with difficult moral conundrums, and a setting where two warring parties both came off poorly, and now they’re both limping through a reconstruction could be really interesting for a long-play game. I would also really like to see both sides of the conflict represented in the group.  The one thing I wanted to see more of in campaign 2 was a native Xorhasian perspective in the group (aside from Essek, who wasn’t a PC).  I’m placing this as post-major Dynasty/Empire conflict at some point in the future, so it would be the same geographical setting as campaign 2, but time skipped enough that we don’t really have a ton of recurring characters.  Cameos from the longer-lived Campaign 2 characters are still possible, though.

Player characters

These predictions are based on my perception of player preferences, interesting roleplay opportunities, and focusing on things that the players seem interested in but haven’t been able to explore yet.  I have also built prior relationships, because I loved having PCs come in with relationships to build the group on and give early opportunities for trust and character building:

 Travis: Human Cleric (Order), with possible multi-class Fighter (Battle master). I would love to lean into a tactical, Imperial battle-commander type character for Travis, who can hit, but leans more support.  I also would love to see him play a cleric with wavering faith in how he used to believe and practice.  He has seen too much of war, too much of dying, to be overly-devoted to a single law or side, and is on an active quest of faith to find a higher sense of order and morality.  He maybe left the army in disgrace, or went AWOL, but either way he is persona non grata on his former side of the war, with only one ally having followed him into exile.  Prior relationship: Ashley’s fighter.  When he went AWOL or was driven into exile, she was the only soldier who followed him. He struggles with his choices and his faith, and she acts as his rock and has become far more of an equal because of that.

Ashley: Warforged Fighter (echo knight).  Ashley loves a straightforward fighter, so I wanted to give her something without complex rules to stress her out, but one that still has some really interesting flavor and possibilities once she gets into the groove.  Echo knight is ideal, because it’s not a hard subclass to play, but it can be seriously fun.  I like the idea that her character was built as an answer to Xorhasian dunamancy, to double herself and fight as two.  As she evolved and became less a machine and more a person, she became more and more attached to her commander rather than blind patriotism, to the point that when he left, she went with him.  Prior relationship: Travis’ cleric.  He was her commander, and she still tends to act as his soldier, despite his wavering faith. She followed him when he lost faith, and she continues to be the one who follows and believes in him.

Laura: Full Orc Barbarian (wild magic).  Laura loves to hit things, and has clearly wanted to play a hardcore tank for a while. I want her to be able to wade into any fight and tank a ton of damage, and full orc and barbarian both play into that. I figure her character would be Xorhasian, was a soldier for a while, but could never fit in because of her taste for wild magic and her chaotic nature.  Having her be a full orc would also allow her to explore playing a character who can’t be traditionally sexy, which would be a fun change from Vex and Jester. I see her as someone who rapidly went AWOL from the army, and is generally unaligned and doesn’t want to think about the war or what it did to her country or her people, and wallows in wild magic to avoid it.  Maybe she went to the Menagerie Coast during the war to get away from the fighting and dive deeper into her path, at which point she met Sam’s character.  Prior relationship: Sam’s sorcerer, as they walk the same path.  They share a faith, and that drew them together before the campaign, and they’re chaotic, happy best friends.

Sam: Satyr Sorcerer (wild magic).  Doubling up wild magic would be nuts, but would allow Sam and Laura to play with some crazy combos in roleplay and in combat.  Sam loves unpredictability, and so I could really see him leaning into the dice roll and relishing when things go wrong as a wild magic sorcerer.  Satyr would also lean into this chaotic bent, and would stack well with the charisma-based sorcerer build.  I see him as being from the Menagerie Coast, unaligned in the war, but touched by it somehow (possibly lost someone / his home / etc to the fighting?).  He and Laura’s character met due to their mutual inclination and tie to wild magic, and are very close friends who have tried to spend the entire war pretending there isn’t a war.  Prior relationship: Laura’s barbarian.  They are on the same wild path, but perhaps have different connections to it or opinions about it to give them different flavors and different approaches to the same chaos.

Marisha: Yuan-ti Pureblood Rogue (swashbuckler).  Let Marisha play high charisma!  Let her play a pirate!  I would love to see a snake-y pirate lady, unaffiliated with everything, acting as a sarcastic outside observer.  I would love to see her lean into snark and the scoundrel-with-a-heart-of-gold archetype, especially in a race than is stereotyped as evil.  Maybe she’s getting out of the pirate’s life, or did something horrific that riddles her with guilt that she covers with snark.  I would just love to have her get a dark, but non-political backstory.  Prior relationship: None.  She is a wildcard character, deliberately.  She comes in and adds a very different flavor and perspective, and as such, probably shouldn’t have a relationship with any of the other characters.

Liam: High Elf Artificer (artillerist).  Liam’s love of describing his spells’ mechanics in C2 was what inspired this. I think he would enjoy being an inventor steeped in tragedy, possibly as someone who invented a weapon of mass destruction for the Empire, and still wants to believe in his homeland, despite what he did and what they did.  Give me Liam as the man who has become death, destroyer of worlds.  It plays into his love of tragedy and redemption, and I am here for that.  Prior relationship: Taliesin’s wizard.  His shame has kept him a hermit, but chance brought Taliesin’s character to him, and he saw Taliesin’s character as a means of redemption or better understanding. Having his closest tie be to someone from the other side would also play into the tragedy of his character.

Taliesin: Drow Wizard (homebrew dunamancer).  Taliesin has always been Matt’s go-to for exploring homebrew content, and introducing dunamancy into C2 was a ton of fun.  I would love to see this get expanded and explored with a Xorhasian dunamancer character PC, and Taliesin has a talent for taking something Matt has played with (Firbolgs, blood hunters, etc.), and making it unique.  He’s definitely the player I could see taking the dunamancer and making him very distinct from Essek and the pre-established notion of what a dunamancer is.  This would also fit with my notion that his character was tightly tied to Dynasty politics, possibly a courtier background, prior to the war, and found himself tied up in it.  I would love to see Taliesin play a character more politically tied to the central story than Caduceus was, as he has a talent for driving plot and being a lynchpin for Matt’s larger plans.  So centering the deep-lore plot on Tal and Liam could be really great.  Prior relationship: Liam’s artificer, though theirs is not a long acquaintance.  They met shortly before the campaign, and though they have a bond, it’s new and somewhat untested.  Not to mention that the combination of an artillerist who built a weapon of mass destruction and a dunamancer make for the potential for some explosive blowouts as secrets get revealed.

[thehubby]

Mike I need help. Every single time my players hit town they shop. Even if we had just gotten a bunch of stuff in the last session, and they swore up and down they didn't need *anything else*, they still go immediately to shop for more things and I'm getting frustrated and bored. We just had four weeks worth of sessions like this and I'm at the end of my patience. I had to shut the session down tonight before we even started because I said "we did a lot of shopping yesterday, so why don't we speed that up and leave town since there's nothing else you need." They immediately vetoed the idea and said no, actually, there was stuff they wanted to shop for!! Even though we just spent SIX HOURS shopping and talking to npcs yesterday!! My brain hit a wall and I had to tell them "I'm done, I can't do this anymore."

Help me MikeyWan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Long post ahead.

I am here for you, Anon. I feel your pain. Actually, that's unfair of me -- I understand your pain but have not experienced it myself because my table of players is very well balanced, and although one or two of them have an affinity for shopping, it's partly my fault for making so many homebrew items and letting them occasionally nab a few from shops. Still, the other players at the table keep them in line and keep the game moving reasonably. It sounds like your entire table (or at least the majority) is driving you crazy in this regard, which is a more difficult challenge.

Here are my suggestions. I can't guarantee that they will work against diehard shopaholics, but this general flow often works for obsessive player behavior in general (murder-hoboing, insistence on lots of combat, refusal to fight, power-playing, and so on). You may tackle any or all of these in whatever order you think will benefit your group. You know your players better than I.

Figure out and understand why your players are doing this. There could be lots of reasons. Some players, particularly long-time veterans (who were often brought up in "Monty Haul" adventures) or raised on modern MMOs and computer RPGs, become driven by the acquisition of items -- to them, if their character isn't adorned like a Christmas tree, they aren't a success. There are also players who have "big spender" syndrome, an actual behavioral condition that exhibits in tabletop and digital RPGS: the player believes that their rise to power and success as a character can only be evidenced when they demonstrate their wealth. Not to put on my Psych 101 hat, but this is sometimes a projection of the player's own worldviews and experiences with wealth (or lack thereof; after all, some people play games like this as an escape from the reality of their own hardships). In addition to staying at upscale inns (if they haven't acquired their own property) and eating fine foods (if they haven't sought out a private chef on retainer), their characters also interact with a lot of shopkeepers, who are generally pleased to see people laden with coin and interested in their wares. I mean, who doesn't like being able to throw around money for the latest glimmering bauble while the sales associate waits ever patiently? But for some, it goes much further, and can be every bit the same pleasure as getting the killing blow on that blue dragon. And finally, some players are really just there for the talking. That's their whole bag. They would be happy putting all their skill points into Diplomacy, Intimidate, Sense Motive and using every stat as a dump except Charisma. It's weird, given the combat-oriented nature of the game, but those people really do exist.

Understanding the motivation behind your player behaviors will give you the best chance of curtailing that behavior in a way that satisfies both you and them.

You said your players vetoed leaving town and immediately said that there were things they wanted to shop for. My question, were I in your shoes and with your level of frustration, would be to ask what such things were, and if the characters had a legitimate need for the items. If the characters know what they are looking for, you as GM can immediately determine if they're available in town, and if they're exotic, perhaps there might be some searching or wheeling and dealing to even find where they are sold. If the players are looking for typical fare like more healing potions or a replacement for those +1 arrows they used up, this is easily handled without a 20 minute chat-fest, especially if it's your third such today. If the players don't know what they want, and just want to see what's available, don't hesitate to ask them why they believe they are ill-equipped for their continuing adventures despite you or NPCs telling them as such.

Such behavior can also be forcibly slowed or even stopped through the world-controlling power you wield as the GM, although if not handled delicately, this can significantly raise tensions at the table. The PCs, having arrived in town after a week subduing trolls in the Sootblack Hills, find that the stores are all but empty of magic items. Even the most basic potions and scrolls are a crapshoot to find; they might scour the entire city in search of any place that even has a magic weapon available? Why? Plenty of reasons. War has broken out, and supplies for every city in a couple hundred miles have been bought up or seized by the warring factions. Perhaps the ruling monarch (or council or whatever) has decreed for unknown reasons that the manufacture and sale of magical items is forbidden, punishable by imprisonment. An ancient order may have been awoken and has begun the theft or destruction of arcane equipment -- except for their own, of course. These turns of events might cause the PCs' own equipment to become even more valuable (or a threat to their safety) -- but any newfound wealth will do them little good with nothing magical to buy. All of these and similar actions are only stop-gaps; eventually, the PCs would be expected to help resolve the war, overthrow the sovereign, defeat the ancient order, or whatever is in their way. And then you're back to where you are now.

Always keep in mind the Wealth By Level restrictions for characters. This represents how much wealth a character possesses at any one time for their level (some GMs take a more stringent view that it represents the total wealth a PC will have accrued by that point in their career, so if the players fritter it away on women and chimichangas, tough noogies.) Characters can only buy things if they have the wealth to do so. Selling items they don't want comes with a steep penalty. Even in great condition, shops rarely pay more than half price for an item due to taxes, restocking fees, how long it might take to sell, and so on. What this ultimately comes down to is that you control just how much these characters can buy and sell. They can only buy items if they have the coin, and they can only get the coin that you give them, or a lesser value for selling items they don't want. Become more stringent with money. At some point, the money runs out, and selling hard-earned loot for half its value stops being so fun. Do you really want to lose effectively 2,000 gold crowns for selling that +2 axe, or do you want to maybe put it to some use and come out more powerful than you would have buying some weaker item with the proceeds? If players decline to ever sell their equipment yet still expect to find new equipment, you can accommodate them by destroying their equipment. Enemies can sunder weapons and armor; a number of spells, magical effects or environmental hazards can deal damage to and potentially break anything exposed to them. This isn't being vengeful; it's being a good GM. [I remember watching Critical Role and over many episodes, perhaps the most traumatic and thrilling experience the players had (apart from character deaths) was when their beloved flying carpet was eaten by acid or lava or something. But it was a natural consequence of their actions, and they took it in stride, as they should.]

Finally, as with all things, you are the law. I always, always recommend talking with your players, either individually or as a table if needed, to tackle either your own frustrations or those of one or more players. But if push comes to shove, it's your game. You (presumably) respect the players by coming up with adventures, scenarios, NPCs, locations and all sorts of other stuff for them to tackle in a manner you expect to be fun. If they refuse to respect your preparation time and the time you spend at the table, by insisting to engage in continuous, pointless NPC discussions despite you expressing your dissatisfaction, then tell them you can't do it anymore. It isn't fun for you, and if the only way that they can have fun is in a way that is directly contradictory to you having fun, the game isn't going to work, period. If they sincerely change, fantastic; try to accommodate their need for shopping when you can and get on with the grand story at other times. If they refuse to change, leave them and get another table. That last part isn't always easy to do, and depending on your area, it might take a while to get another game going, but often a table where you're not having fun (and working hard to do it) is worse than no table at all. I wish you luck.

[tv-geeks]

The 25 Biggest TV Shows that Defined the 2010′s

Described as the golden age of television, the 2010’s redefined what we saw on our silver screens. With many of its programmes being compared to the work of the film industry, television changed before our very eyes these past ten years. We said goodbye to our favourite politicians, fell in and out of love with an after school club that sang show tunes, and crowned the king of the seven kingdoms. The 2010’s has an abundance of programming for us to watch, so making this list was quite the difficult task. In order to be considered for this list, the majority of the show’s seasons would have had to be aired from January 1st, 2010 to December 31st, 2019. And, each show has been ranked based on its impact on television/its audiences, as well as the quality being taken into account (but not being considered quite as much as the former). So, before we move into another ten years of the ever-changing landscape of the small screen, let’s take a look at the best shows we watched. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS (26 - 40)

26. Top Boy 27. How To Get Away With Murder 28. Keeping Up With The Kardashians 29. One Day At A Time 30. Rick and Morty 31. Jane the Virgin 32. New Girl 33. Broad City 34. Crazy Ex Girlfriend 35. Master of None 36. Bob’s Burgers 37. You 38. Insecure 39. Bojack Horseman 40. The Simpsons

25) This Is Us, NBC (2016 - present)

Renewed until 2022, ‘This Is Us’ was the simultaneously heart wrenching and heartwarming drama that changed the game for television this decade. From its phenomenal cast performances to the well thought-out story arcs for each character, the family drama was one of the most significant programmes of the 2010’s. What made the Emmy award winning programme so special this decade was its ability to give each character a personality that felt real. We didn’t like these characters because they were interesting, we fell in love with them because they represented the realities of life. From Kate’s (Chrissy Metz) depiction of heavy insecurities from being overweight to Rebecca's (Mandy Moore) struggle of being a single mother, ‘This Is Us’ is a show about real people, non-fabricated.

24) On My Block, Netflix (2018 - present)

A surprise hit for the streaming platform, ‘On My Block’ was the most-binged show on Netflix during its premiere year. For both seasons that the show has been released, ‘On My Block’ has been an internet sensation, having its audiences watching the show as quickly as possible to avoid spoilers. The youth drama captivated audiences with its relatability, comedy, and the fact that it doesn’t shy away from reality when it touches on gun violence and life for kids in rough neighborhoods.

The show definitely had its impact for the past two years, and it also deserves more. For a show with minimal advertisement to capture the hearts of so many worldwide - and to even best the streaming network’s veteran programming - is a feat that is worth celebrating. ‘On My Block’ is a show that celebrates the underdog in life. It puts young, poor people of colour at the forefront and allows them to tell their own stories - be it dramatic or comedic.

23) Killing Eve, BBC America (2018 - present)

A show that really made a name for itself was the international hit ‘Killing Eve’. The drama starring Jodie Comer from ‘My Mad Fat Diary (2013 - 2015)’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy (2005 - present)’ star Sandra Oh took the world by storm with its intense and teasingly romantic performances. Oh and Comer became one of the greatest pairings this decade with their love-hate relationship in ‘Killing Eve’. The leads both equally balance each other out with their ability to be both comedic and dramatic whilst teasing both a romance and a constant desire to detonate the other, which is a quality not many can possess. The BBC programme succeeded in a crowded market of dramatic content by ensuring that it was impossible for one woman to have carried the show, as even though Comer has the task of portraying multiple personalities throughout each episode, Oh is just as striking with her nervous, intelligent and chaotic portrayal of the vulnerable and fervid Eve Polastri.

22) Big Little Lies, HBO (2017 - present)

With an all-star cast like this, it would’ve been a real shame had this show disappointed. Luckily, there’s a reason these A-listers joined the show as ‘Big Little Lies’ had us on the edge of our seats each week. Dealing with the influx of made for bingeing TV programmes being released in one set, the cable show had a lot to fight against, as it required fans to stay on board each week whilst retaining the ins and outs of the crime drama. ‘Big Littles Lies’ succeeded in the attention-span battle as each episode was carefully curated so that we wouldn’t forget the important details. Moments were revisited whilst every scene changed the story somehow without adding too much that we got confused. 

From the phenomenal cast to the striking writing and directing, the HBO drama is a defining show of the 2010’s as it was one of the few shows that made it almost impossible to log online without reading spoilers. Although it may not have the same hype as another fellow HBO programme, it still held its own and had us writing theories and listening to podcasts to keep us going until the next episode.

21) Brooklyn Nine Nine, NBC (2013 - present)

After being cancelled by FOX in 2018, the show was resurrected by the Gods at NBC and given two extra seasons to last until 2020 (for now!). The irony in this show is that it didn’t make much noise until its cancellation, where the silent fanbase made their voices heard. Although the reaction of fans isn’t quite the reason it got renewed, this still proved to be a pinnacle moment for television in the 2010s. Many shows lose their network, but not many make as much a spectacle as ‘Brooklyn Nine Nine’ did, leading it to becoming one of the most talked about shows of 2018. And there’s a reason for that. The cop sitcom may have its problems, but what it does successfully is give us a reason to root for every character they have (including Hitchcock and Scully!). A constant trope in comedy television is that there tends to be a few characters that are outright awful - at least to the more than casual viewer. But with the now NBC comedy, each one is lovable and has gone on their individually engaging journey throughout the years. Rootable characters are the root to every TV show that touches its viewers’ hearts, and ‘Brooklyn Nine Nine’ does that with every single on-screen persona.

20) American Crime Story, FX (2016 - present)

When it comes to biopics, television hardly gets noted as having some great renditions, but ‘American Crime Story’ is changing that. The debut season that detailed the OJ Simpson trial is probably one of the best seasons of modern television as it cleverly and accurately dictated the trial from the murder up until the verdict, giving viewers as close a look as possible to the reality of the crime. Sarah Paulson gave us a phenomenal performance as Marcia Clark whilst Cuba Gooding Jr. delivered OJ better than anybody imaginable.

The second season was also on par with its predecessor as ‘Glee (2009 - 2015)’ alum Darren Criss lead the show to another year of critical acclaim as Andrew Cunanan in ‘The Assasination of Gianni Versace’. Much like the first season, this one was an award show favourite, and on top of that, solidified Criss as a seasoned actor in the business.

19) When They See Us, Netflix (2019)

Created by Ava DuVernay, the Netflix mini-series focusing on a significant part of the drastic life of The Exonerated Five’s lives. Each of the six episodes carefully detailed their story, ensuring each movement and word connoted the struggle faced by Kevin Richardson, Antron McCray, Yusef Salaam, Korey Wise and Raymond Santana. What lands this show on the list isn’t the critical praise or accolades, but the detail oriented work on display throughout the series. ‘When They See Us’ did what many shows have deterred from over the years, and that was telling a real story with no boundaries. What makes a biopic successful is when it encourages its audience to research the original story after watching it. And after being viewed by over 23 million people less than a month within its release, we saw conversations take place about the Exonerated Five. We went back to watch the original documentary, found out more about the evils of Linda Fairstein, and conversations about the initial arrests grew and grew. ‘When They See Us’ was a phenomenon that created relevant conversations and truly defined this decade.

18) The Good Place, NBC (2016 - 2020)

In 2016, the creator of ‘Brooklyn Nine Nine (2013 - present)’ and ‘Parks and Recreation (2009 - 2015)’ took on a more challenging project as he created ‘The Good Place’; a comedy that tackles the meaning of life and how important we are to each other and the universe. The US comedy has become a staple in comedy as it challenged its conventions whilst keeping up the light-hearted nature we all anticipate. What made the show so special is that it gave us an abundance of extremely imperfect characters and relished in it. From the narcissism to their careless nature, it’s surprising that the season one finale plot twist even took us by surprise, but somehow it did, and that’s because beyond the fact that these people were mostly terrible, they were, above all else, lovable. Throughout the series we learned to love them for their bad sides, and saw that beyond what made them such horrific people, they were pretty decent. ‘The Good Place’ was a show that aimed to prove that humans are more than the good and bad things that they do, and although it has deteriorated in quality in the latter seasons, it still holds quite a large influence over this decade.

17) Veep, HBO (2012 - 2019)

One of the saddest losses of the 2010’s, ‘Veep’ was the excellent kind of programming that this decade will forever be remembered for. Beginning with a slow start, the Julia-Louis Dreyfus lead show stole our hearts with its wit and relevant comedy. ‘Veep’ took on what the world was focusing on - politics and feminism - and put it at the forefront of a primetime TV show. And to ensure we were watching, we received a stellar cast and perfect writing each episode. The political comedy is something that can be rewatched again and again, and never get old, which is why it’s such a shame we won’t be seeing it anymore. But maybe sometimes it’s better to bow out early.

16) Grey’s Anatomy, ABC (2005 - present)

If we’re going to discuss programmes with longevity, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ has to be on the list. The most successful programme from TV veteran Shonda Rhimes, the medical drama has been a powerful force in the industry. Launching the careers of the likes of Jesse Williams and Golden Globe winner Sandra Oh, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ can be credited for getting a generation of young adults/teens into television drama. Some of the biggest fans of TV today found their love for the medium through Rhimes’ programme and have remained loyal ever since. Although the show isn’t quite at its peak anymore, it’s still holding strong, and it’s hard to find a television fan that hasn’t been captivated by the drama in the Seattle-based programme. The show has placed this high on the list as it’s had an immense influence on today’s TV (fans) and its longevity is unmatched.

15) Love Island, ITV2 (2015 - present)

Like many British reality shows, it took a year or two for ‘Love Island’ to finally make some noise, but when it did, it was most definitely heard. Making headlines in season two and becoming one of the most watched British shows just a year later, the romance-based reality competition forced viewers across the world to spend their summers with young singles searching for love and an Instagram following. On top of consisting of catty arguments, shocking twists and viral memes, ‘Love Island’ captured the hearts of reality TV fans worldwide for its relatable nature. Young people would tune in every summer to see people just like them search for love in a similar dating pool. On the surface we would be seen taking to Twitter to insist that certain women were being “mugged off” whilst her love interest was simply playing a game, but beyond that it became a starting point for conversations around misogyny, racism, sisterhood and mental gymnastics. From the beginning of the season, patterns would be noticed by audiences when the black contestants would typically be the last ones chosen - in the season five premiere, the final four singles left to be coupled up were all people of colour, three of which were black. The mistreatment of women like Samira Mighty and Yewande Biala would create discourse across the internet on misogynoir, and the constant talk of “tall, dark and handsome” would form interesting dialogue on what that really means. It may not seem like the most cleverly put together show, but everyday it made its worldwide viewers tune in as soon as they could to see the action as it poured out, so that we could interact with each other live. It’s rare for a reality show to be this well loved across the globe, as many competition programmes of the latter half of the decade were usually watched by the country it originally aired in, but the ITV2 show’s ability to create discourse and fanfare is what made it the powerful programme that it is (which was so big that even ‘Saturday Night Live (1975 - present)’ made a sketch about it). With the dating programme’s relatability, youth, easy-to-watch nature and its ability to create a conversation, it became a pinnacle of the 2010s that has had other networks attempting (and failing) to emulate it.

14) The Big Bang Theory, CBS (2007 - 2019)

With its wit, humour and unique take on life as a modern nerd, ‘The Big Bang Theory’ became a frontrunner in the comedy genre for the entire 2010s. Bowing out gracefully in the final year of the decade, the nerd-oriented comedy took the decade by storm, being one of CBS’ most viewed shows for the majority of its stay on the network. What captivated audiences was the simplistic comedy that was stylized as though it was intelligent. The show made basic science-related jokes that those fresh out of Biology class would understand, and thus make the joke somewhat relatable. And that’s not to bash the show for not having funny jokes, because it did, it just had a certain audience to appeal to. ‘The Big Bang Theory’ was never going to be funny in the same way that ‘Barry (2018 - present)’ is. The Jim Parsons-lead sitcom earned its play high on this list as the show was a huge international success. Existing for the entirety of the decade and only leaving because the lead lost interest before the fans did, it’s clear that this was a very beloved television programme, and when it comes to comedy in the 2010s, this will always be brought up.

13) Modern Family, ABC (2009 - 2020)

When it came to comedy in the 2010s, no true fan of the genre ended the decade without loving at least one episode of ‘Modern Family’. The family sitcom which has been followed by similar shows on the same network such as ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ and ‘Black-ish’, remained a dominant force in the genre for the former half of the 2010s. Tying the record for Most wins for Outstanding Comedy Series at the Emmys with ‘Frasier’ (5 wins) from 2010 - 2014, it was a clear critical success and a definite frontrunner throughout the years. But beyond what the critics have said, fans have taken a liking to the show as it offered simplicity with humour. ‘Modern Family’ took an average concept of a dysfunctional but loving family, and detailed how their simple yet outrageous scenarios were relatable to both the audience and each other. Every time we tuned into an episode of the American sitcom, we were given a half an hour of fun, light entertainment that kept us entertained for the entire decade. For those that were in their teens, we related to Haley Dunphy (Sarah Hyland), who was always confused about her path in life and wasn’t always doing the right thing. For those that were seen as the sensible member of the family, we related to Alex Dunphy (Ariel Winter) who, although she appeared to have everything together, she never really did, and relied on her relationship with her sibling in order to feel superior but to also be vulnerable. Gloria Delgado-Pritchett (Sofia Vergara) represented the underestimated yet striking individuals, Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) portrayed those with the incessant need to impress their parents, Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell) was made for the hopeful parents always looking to do the right thing, whilst other kids could find themselves trying to findt their way in Luke Dunphy (Nolan Gould) or Manny Delgado (Rico Rodriguez). Everybody had their place in the family represented in ‘Modern Family’, so we found ourselves attached to see that play out every episode, with its charm, chaos and light-hearted nature. Also, Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet) and Mitchell Pritchett (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) created a space for queer representation that both conformed and challenged the existing conventions, which especially for the beginning of the decade, was quite transformative.

12) Atlanta, FX (2016 - present)

A critical darling from its very first episode, ‘Atlanta’ gave us some of the 2010s most iconic episodes. From the jarring 'Teddy Perkins' episode to the innovatively shot 'B.A.N.' from the first season, this show was daring from its origins. The aforementioned season one episode proved to audiences that ‘Atlanta’ wasn’t an ordinary programme; the experimental production plays out as a talk-show, with some fake commercials being played between the story. With episodes like ‘Teddy Perkins’, the Donald Glover created show delivered one of the most unsettling projects this decade. The original airing on FX even aired with no ad breaks in between, forcing viewers to feel as eerie as intended. ‘Atlanta’ earned its place as one of the most defining shows of the decade as it proved to be daring without failure. Each episode told a story, and with its blend between comedy and drama, it really was a pinnacle programme from this era of blurred genres.

11) House of Cards, Netflix (2013 - 2018)

Netflix’s very first original TV show premiered back in 2013, and although a controversial programme today due to its male lead not knowing how consent works, we can’t deny the power that this show had throughout the years. Without the success of ‘House of Cards’ some of today’s biggest Netflix originals like 'Queer Eye', 'The Crown', 'Sex Education' and ‘Russian Doll’ may have ceased to exist. Due to the impact of the political drama, the streaming platform may not have had enough selling points to take on traditional broadcast television. ‘House of Cards’ may not be held to high regard anymore - with good reason - but it played its role in the golden age of television, and was one of the few significant shows that changed the way we watched television forever.

10) Orange Is The New Black, Netflix (2013 - 2019)

‘Orange Is The New Black’ was one of the few shows that changed TV viewership. Being one of Netflix’s first original programmes, it allowed the market to open up to the idea of binge-watching a programme, and giving traditional cable television a run for its money. But beyond changing how we watched television, the Jenji Kohan production changed what was on television. Prior to its controversial and damaging season four finale, the first three seasons of the show gave fans a welcoming set of episodes featuring strong, real and vulnerable female characters in serious situations and relationships. This continued on until the last season, however since the incident in the fourth season occurred, it took the show until its final installment to truly recover from its quality. But that doesn’t deter from the fact that this show had its impact, and found its way into people’s homes in ways that others couldn’t quite capture. ‘Orange Is The New Black’ created heart-wrenching stories tackling immigration, sexuality, rape, racism and more each episode. What made the show oddly superior to most of its peers is that although the lead was probably the most boring character on the show, the ensemble were so full of life and character that it more than made up for it. With characters such as Nicky Nichols (Natasha Lyonne), Poussey Washington (Samira Wiley) and Taystee Jefferson (Danielle Brooks) grabbing fans’ hearts every time they appeared on screen, it made the prison-based dramady something special. We dealt with Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) and her annoying antics so that we could see if Nicky was ever going to find the love and peaceful life she deserved. We dealt with the lead of the show in hopes that her connection with Taystee would give her the justice she fought for throughout the entirety of the programme. ‘Orange Is The New Black’ was far from perfect, but it ushered in a generation of new and diverse programming that put women at the forefront. It got a lot wrong, but as its intention was to change the way we watched TV, it ensured we got what was missing.

9) American Horror Story, FX (2011 - present)

Creator Ryan Murphy was known for some less serious projects prior to this, and although they were successful, this is the project that transcended him into one of the biggest stars of the 2010s. ‘American Horror Story’ premiered to rave reviews from fans and critics alike, and throughout the years placed itself in the meme Hall of Fame with moments like Emma Roberts’ “surprise, bitch”. The show was able to make an almost non-existent genre in TV thrive and survive for almost ten seasons. Fans flocked to this show because it didn’t rely on jump scares to consider itself “horror”. ‘American Horror Story’ created characters who, with visuals combined with their literally insane character work, gave the show the fear factor even blockbuster films of the same genre were missing. Murphy and co. created a cast of characters that although were only ever with us for a season or so, gave us a reason to come back each time. The cast itself are also a flawless set of performers, but it’s the writing from each episode that’s allowed the show to become a pinnacle of television in the 2010s. Also, Sarah Paulson.

8) Rupaul’s Drag Race, VH1 (2009 - present)

Nothing redefined a whole genre of television quite like ‘Rupaul’s Drag Race’. Ushering in a unique and fresh feel to the reality TV competition genre, Rupaul and his clan of drag queens delivered 10 seasons of the show this decade, as well as the four ‘All Stars’ seasons, and the international spin-offs. The show made its mark on the world with the help of the internet, as the viral memes such as Jasmine Masters’ “and I oop!” and Coco Montrese screaming “I’m not joking, b*tch!” were shared millions of times across the world wide web. We also got to see the queens have their lip sync battles impress fans around the globe; from Alyssa Edwards and Tatianna’s “Shut Up And Drive” to Brooke Lynn Hytes vs Yvie Oddly’s “Sorry Not Sorry”, the queens had fans gagging each week.

Drag has been seen as a fairly underground art form for many years, and throughout most of this show’s reign, the idea that it would remain this way was pretty consistent with its fanbase. However, within the latter years of the 2010’s, the queens of the werk-room transcended their talent into global fame, and have allowed drag to become the mainstream work of art it always deserved to be. Each season a talented and fiery bunch of drag queens strut into the werk room to be crowned ‘America’s Next Drag Superstar’. And with its wit, unique storytelling and ability to become instantly viral, ‘Rupaul’s Drag Race’ easily became the best reality show of the 2010’s. The show became so popular that the previously underground medium has given queens success at the Primetime Emmys, and even launched one of its biggest stars - Shangela Laquifa Wadley - into the Oscar winning film ‘A Star Is Born’. The rise to the top was a tough one for the drag competition, as the masses were never clued into the idea of drag as a concept, let alone a show full of openly queer artists, yet through the years the show and its cast prevailed. What made the show so special was that queer audiences could not only see themselves and their stories portrayed on television, but they didn’t have to deal with tragic endings and disrespectful storylines in order to do so. Queer fans could enjoy the programme for its fun nature whilst still feeling represented. And although the racial diversity only picked up towards the later seasons, it is still one of the most diverse programmes on television. The programme isn’t perfect when it comes to diversity and inclusion as it still has to tackle its gender bias, treatment of the queens of colour themselves and the fact that the scene behind the camera is still very much mostly white. But, that’s not to say that it hasn’t made some progress.

7) Black Mirror, Netflix (2011 - present)

It was pretty hard to be a TV fan this decade without hearing of this show, let alone surrendering and watching at least one episode. The science fiction anthology series cleverly took on a varied set of themes and challenged its viewers to question their everyday thoughts and actions. From having a Prime Minister have sex with a pig, to Miley Cyrus’s dramatic portrayal of Ashley O and the iconic San Junipero episode, it’s difficult to not navigate this episode without being entertained by this show one way or another. Although the Netflix programme doesn’t have to focus on long-term storytelling, it does have to convince us to care enough for new characters and stories each episode. The anthology series has allowed many kinds of tales to be told, and has managed to build a dedicated audience each time it returns. From its excellent accolades to its incredible critique, ‘Black Mirror’ is a programme unlike any other, and is by far one of the greatest programmes to come out of the 2010s.

6) Glee, FOX (2009 - 2015)

Although criticized for its inconsistent writing and eventual fan service, ‘Glee’ was a show unlike any other, and remains impactful to this day. The FOX musical dramady did something beyond being a decent show, it paved the way for LGBT+ representation for years following it. If there’s one thing the 2010s should be remembered for, it’s the amount of openly queer characters on our screens (be it good or bad). When ‘Glee’ had one of its leads, Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer), come out in 2009 episode ‘Preggers’, an iconic moment of television immediately arose. Hummel may have made some questionable decisions since then, but the rest of the show followed suit with giving queer people somebody to see themselves in. Santana Lopez (Naya Rivera) had one of the greatest coming out scenes in 2011, Coach Beiste (Dot-Marie Jones) dealt with being in an abusive relationship in 2012, Wade “Unique” Adams’ (Alex Newell) gender issues were explored in 2015, and Brittany Pierce (Heather Morris) was given positive bisexual representation throughout the series. Although nobody’s story was ever perfect, the show opened the doors for more LGBT+ representation following it. Since its premiere, we’ve seen more (and somewhat better) queer representation in ‘One Day At A Time’, ‘Sense8’, 'The Bold Type', and creator Ryan Murphy's other programmes 'The New Normal' and 'Pose'. ‘Glee’ came at a time when queer youth needed representation more than ever, and it may not have been the best, but it was there, and it taught a generation of teens a whole lot about themselves, and for that, it ranks pretty high on this decade-end list. They also happen to have the most Hot 100 Entries of all time (soon to be topped by Drake, who is only one song behind), and received 18 Primetime Emmy nominations during the peak of the show in 2011, so some may have said it did quite well.

5) Parks and Recreation, NBC (2009 - 2015)

Beginning right at the end of the last decade and ending in the middle of this one, ‘Parks and Recreation’ definitely had a good shot at making an impact throughout the 2010s. And it managed to do exactly that. On top of being one of the few shows to have a worthy series finale, ‘Parks and Recreation’ was a programme that warmed our hearts every single episode and reminded us of a better life in an unfortunate political climate. Leslie Knope was a beacon of light in a dark world, ensuring that despite living what can be described as a simple life, she created something extraordinary. The Michael Schur original ranks so high as it has been a part of one of the most enjoyable kinds of comedies - the mockumentary - and did it extremely well. We’ve seen many shows make their mark amongst this genre, but ‘Parks and Recreation’ was able to do so without the help of a big Primetime Emmy push, and created a devoted fanbase. With the timeless memes and the rewatchable episodes, the citizens of Pawnee gave us some of the most enjoyable moments of the 2010s that will carry us into the 2020s just as well.

4) Fleabag, BBC One (2016 - 2019)

What appeared to be the quiet assassin of 2019 turned out to be one of the biggest shows of the 2010s. Phoebe Waller-Bridge released her one-woman show in 2013 in England and was soon picked up by BBC Three. Whilst the first season had its fair share of attention, it wasn’t until it returned for a second season in 2019 when Waller-Bridge truly left her mark. Viewers across the globe fell in love with the dark yet witty comedy as the show wasn’t afraid to show what figuring it all out was really about. It was dark, it was morally unhinged, it was funny, it was crass, it was flawed, it was simply real. Waller-Bridge captured complicated women in every episode, whilst remaining real and funny. This show - much like the very underrated ‘Chewing Gum’ - gave an honest, humorous voice to regular women just trying to figure life out as oddly and uncomfortable as possible.

3) Pose, FX (2018 - present)

The most vital LGBT+ inclusive show of the latter years of the decade, FX’s ‘Pose’ gave a platform to trans performers of colour with innovative and provocative storytelling. Although the show only arrived in late 2018, it’s earned a place on the list as it has helped push under-represented communities in the world of TV. With the likes of Billy Porter leading this show, the FX programme already had some celebrity prominence to keep it afloat, but beyond that it created stars out of its ensemble. The show has tackled the aids epidemic, life as a black queer person (most notably trans) and the origins of a lot of today’s queer culture. ‘Pose’ has set the tone for the next decade, and not only has become an important aspect of queer culture, but the television industry. As described by star Dominique Jackson in an interview with E!, "these things happened. You can't just sit in the comfort of your suburb and not realise that homelessness has occurred. Most of us who have lived in that time where the fear of contracting HIV and aids, the fear of wanting to work, the fear of walking the streets and not knowing if you're gonna get to your destination because someone is gonna kill you because of their thoughts about what you do in your bedroom, or how you express yourself. These things need to be seen. This is what 'Pose' does. It shows you everything about the juxtaposition between the rise of the Trump era, the literary scene, and the ballroom culture."

2) Stranger Things, Netflix (2016 - 2020)

One of Netflix’s biggest successes since its streaming origins in 2007, ‘Stranger Things’ was a quick fan favourite as soon as it debuted. Initially pitched as a mini-series, the 80’s-based programme became a word-of-mouth success so big that Netflix had no other option but to renew it again, and again, and again (in which 2020 will see its final chapter). What makes the success of this show so fascinating is that it was able to take a mostly child-oriented cast and create a project that attracted the masses beyond that age group. It would’ve been easy for ‘Stranger Things’ to become a Tumblr sensation for a year or two, being forgotten by most subscribers and its existence being remembered only by the GIF sets on inactive blogs, but it was much more than that. The Duffer Brothers allowed the show to reach into the hearts of multiple age groups by tugging on the heartstrings of loving parents with children, kids and teens longing for an adventurous life, and those with a reminiscent/romanticized vision of childhood in the 80’s. ‘Stranger Things’ became more than what was on the tin, and ensured that every viewer was giving a suspenseful and emotional first eight episodes that were so addictive many of forgave the show for its dismal sophomore year.

1) Game of Thrones, HBO (2011 - 2019)

Not only was this Emmy award winning series here for practically the entire decade, but it maintained its prominence for every single one of the years - even during its hiatus in 2018. Whether you loved the show or not, and no matter what your feelings regarding its final season are, there’s no denying that when it comes to the 2010s, ‘Game of Thrones’ will be the one show we will all reminisce on - for better or for worse. With the influx of streaming and on-demand services taking over, this HBO original will probably go down as the last show that we watch together. The programme was so popular that it practically forced its worldwide viewers to watch it beyond 1am on a Sunday night just to avoid seeing spoilers and to be able to talk about it freely the next morning. Even those that didn’t enjoy the show found it difficult to avoid spoilers, and for that, this show is definitely the show of the 2010s.

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I want to congratulate you use assessment is a kind of watching the law you know that even though you know they most people when the baby will be here by your side we kind of felt like every episode he realized that we can only see two media was right there know how I love being that they were going back to bed for soand I love the manand are going to have is always thousand bad day is not a FIMand has made me so badand he is making me as a slave East Coast Bay Areaand LA Baltimore those places may not be made on how I love love love those communities those areas to about those areas may lieand he was no crashing into the biggest ball is to teach is to the principles to ponies that will be but on every bite your mom’sand apply anybody you raise meand I appreciated Naomi for my family back together is making Ryan out on a broken nose in the eye mages because of affairs VAB no more just to fail as they make more life Dessau appreciatedand will examine the making of them were made in the 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them that I may try to when he like my with a weekly licensed in Texas in one is seen number two small bottles of calling for dialogueand attention for nylon switching to a struggle for power is really still generally Tupac is intense a lot of money like this would mean keeping legal combat the to do so the thing okay no I don’t know the is no I see was the same as allow you to phase will go back is no so we knowand I think the place that we should as we see you so is the only feedback back by 25 notice chopping up to that you everybody know is aand everybody down think about Devereaux what was Ronald Reagan out as an effective home so they don’t affect us I take that shoe shop fight for his life semi ascending tray was a cartoon jubilee that meetings rate of the essay wasn’t there was a song in our essays whole case was solid witnessed I said it was why drain of the show was too busy time so they tell me Adobe is my heroand will be down for his home but he was just a rally this is 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WEEK KING IS DIRECTLY HOW TO SEE THE SERIES BRAND THING I’M TO GO FIND A DRAGON YOU GUYS HANDLE RIGHT NOW BROTHELS FIXING SHIPS BUILDING CLEAN WATER ALL THAT STUFF ANSWER YOUR QUESTION IS NO THERE’S NOT A WAY TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE AT LEAST NOT THIS VERSION IN THIS TIMELINE OF THE SHOW I THINK THEY RAN BOOK SHOW BRAND FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE PROBABLY HAS THE BIGGEST CASTLE NOW BUT I FEEL THAT THE CHARACTER BOOK BRAND IS A BOOK BRAND ENDING UP IN SUCH A POSITION OF LEADERSHIPand I THINK I WENT OVERand FILLING DREAM CATCHERS AT A CROWD A LOT A LOT OF FACTORS AT PLAY HERE LIKE OKAY WHAT ARE YOU KILLED THE NIGHT KING MY DAD I DAD ASKED ME I’VE BEEN CALLING IT SINCE EPISODE ONE BECAUSE I THINK FOR LIKE Mr YOU ARE THAT SATAN IS THE BRAND IN VEGAS ON FAVORITE HEADING INTO THE SEASON WHICH WAS DISTRESSING BUT TO SAY THAT RAYand ARI OUT PARTS OF THE CHARACTERS WHO BEST REPRESENT ONE OF THE KEY IDEAS OF THE STORY WHICH WE HEAR TEARY INVOICE IN SEASON ONEand RESPOND MY HEART FOR COUPLES PASTORSand 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JUXTAPOSED AGAINST BRANDSand I DON’T REALLY WANT LIKE THAT WAS DELIBERATEand IT WAS INSPECTING THE POWERS IS ANOTHER POINT WHICH IS AS WELL AS GUIDELINES WERE INand SCROLL TO GET BACK TO THE EPISODE SCENE BY SCENE IS ONLY A COUPLE MORE SEEN IN THE MOSTLY CHARACTER GOES I WANT TO NOW GET GET TO THIS PART WE TALK A LOT ABOUT CHOICEand DESTINY THEY TALK A LOT A DUSTY IN THIS EPISODEand YET DESPITE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT ON THAT TO YOU AS A CONSUMER OF THE SHOW FIND YOURSELF IN A POSITION TO BE ABLE TO RECONCILE WHERE THEY LANDED IN A SHOW THAT IS OFTEN POSITIONED AS BEING ABOUT CHOICEand FINALLY BELIEVING IN YOUR OWN DESTINY MOST OF THE CHARACTERSand THE ONE IS THAT OFF SEASON WRITING IS ABOUT A GENUINE STATUS OF THE CHARACTERS HAS IS AS NICE AS I THE CHARACTERS WHO HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UPand TRY TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT EVEN IF IT’S HARD IDEA THAT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT IF IT’S REALLY REALLY HARD IN OTHER WORDSand PLAYING OTHER PEOPLE ARE ASKED ON THE PERSON IS IN CHARGE OF THEM EVERYTHING LAKE OR SUPPORTS TO MAKES IT SEEM AT LEAST THAT IT’S ALL JUST A ROADMAP’S LIFE HAS BEEN LAID OUT FOR YOU. IT WAS A HELL RAISER PINHEAD WAS IN EDITING BECAUSE HE THOUGHT ABOUT AS MULTIPLE HELL RAISERS RIGHT LIKE A SET OF A CENOBITE SO THEY ARE YET A GREAT ANTAGONIST IN THE HELL RAISER MOVE RIGHT NOW TO KNOW I REALLY WATCHED THEM THERE ALL THE CRAZY PINHEAD IN MY SHIT LIKE THERE IS LIKELY BUT RATHER ONE THE MOVIE BOOK THAT IS A GREAT COOK OF ALL US TOOK THE LAST THAT SHOWS MIKE YOU AND SWORD OVER MY BALLS ARE CURRENTLY KNOWN TO ALL ANNOUNCEMENTS IN YOUR POKÉMON GOAT STAFF IS OKAY VERY I KNOW YOU’RE BORN TO MOTHERS VESSEL WILL RETURN THEM TO SPANK HER KNOW IS SPANK IN PEOPLE’S MOM YEAH PLAY PC VERSION YOU WILL BE A PLAYER NEWNESS FROM SEATTLE FELT BAD I FELT THAT WHEN JOE THREATENED TO DO SEX WITH WITH THE WARRANT IS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR BUT NOW AT STARBUCKS TO DO SEX PEOPLES MOM’S YEAH IT’S ABOUT PEOPLE WANTING SHAME ANYONE BILLION EUROS A I WANT TO HEAR WHERE THESE PEOPLE CALL HIS BLUFF BE LIKE FINE HAVE SGT. Jan Mantia for Megan if your Nancy dock take you straight to Joe Biden’s campaign page will blaming go do it for Nancy See Other related products: Never Underestimate An Old Man With A Forklift Blood Moon T Shirt

[thotyssey]

On Point With: DJ Ted Bishop Nieves

The newly-anointed Mr. Fire Island Bear 2018 is actually a veteran nightlifer and DJ in this city, breaking through during the days of ball houses and big clubs. He shares a bit of his history with Thotyssey, and hints at some amazing stuff to come.

Thotyssey: Ted, hello! Happy Pride! And of course, a big congrats on winning Mr. Fire Island Bear at Cherry’s on the Bay this past weekend! 

DJ Ted Bishop Nieves: Thank you so much, Jim.

How good did that win feel? It really felt amazing to win. I'll be honest, I'm still in a bit of shock. It was really quite a surprise for me to be entering the contest, and it blew my mind when I won. It was an amazing rush of joy that I really can't describe.

Have you done contests before this one?

My first "contest" was actually just a few weeks ago during the Urban Bear street festival run by Robert Valin and his Urban Bear team. They had their first ever Mr. Urban Bear Contest, and I had enough liquor in me to give me the bravery to enter. I ended up winning on the strength of my lip sync performance, lol! That contest, of course, was all in good fun and I enjoyed that immensely.

And now look at you, you’re a pageant queen! How did the Fire Island Bear contest go... what was required of you?

It was pretty intense. The first part of the contest actually took place several hours before the event at Cherry's. Each of the contestants who signed up ahead of time sat with the judges for a pretty intense Q&A.

After that we had the event at Cherry's, and there we had to present two outfits: a "bar night" look followed by a fetish outfit. That was pretty amazing and difficult. I'm sometimes very shy, and had a hard time getting up the courage to go up there. Once I dd though, there was no going back.

So the bear world--and nightlife in general--knows you best as a DJ, which we’ll get to a bit. But first, let’s start at the beginning: where’s your  hometown, and what were you into growing up?

I was born and raised here in the South Bronx, where I was surrounded by a lot of loud family and friends! Many of them were loud because they were musicians, so I developed a love of music pretty early on. And that was really what I was into as a kid: music.

The kids I grew up with in the neighborhood all played together after school, and most of the day during the summer. I was the one who always had the boom box with him, playing the loud music as we played handball, slugs, red light / green light, or all the other games a lot of us played as kids.

What were you listening to?

Back then I loved it all. My sister introduced me to disco, but I also listened to rock, country, and just about any other genre that was showcased on Kasey Kasem's American Top 40 radio show. Haha! Do people still know that existed?

I bet they don’t!

How did you discover nightlife?

I was probably about 16 years-old, and like a lot of kids in the Bronx I decided to get working papers, and had worked a few jobs around my immediate neighborhood... stock boy, and stuff like that. But at 16, I got a job at Alexander’s department store. One day while riding the train, I caught an older man checking me out, and he got off at the same stop as I. We started speaking, and he told me about a place called the Pier. He asked if I wanted to check it out. I said yes, and we exchanged numbers and we stayed in touch.  

That Friday after work, he picked me up for what I thought would be my first date with a man, but turned into my first class in NYC nightlife and drag and voguing and houses. That night I got the education of a lifetime, and he told me we'd do it again the following night.

That next night, instead of the Pier, we went to the legendary Tracks Nightclub on 19th Street. I stepped foot into that club, and it felt like I was home.That began my love affair with NYC's gay nightlife.

Over the years, I would be able to experience The Saint, Red Zone, The Copacabana, The World, Mars, my favorite of all time Sound Factory, and The Roxy. These places were my home, and I felt connected to them like nothing else.

Were you voguing yourself, and turning lewks?

Ha! No, I never did master voguing, and was very shy back then. Never tried to draw too much attention to myself. But the LEWKS my friends would turn! Gurrrrrl. They were epic! Especially at Red Zone and The Tunnel.

Did you have a favorite Ball House?

Well, ALL the houses knew how to turn it in their own way. They all had it going on, so I wouldn't say I had a favorite house. However, you were always guaranteed crazy heights of entertainment when the Magnifiques, Aviances and Extravaganzas were in attendance at Sound Factory.

Is the new show Pose accurate in its portrayal of that time, from what little has aired so far?

I would say that yes, it's quite accurate as far as depicting the scene and the struggles of the people who were part of it.  It's really quite spot on.

How did you ultimately get into DJing?

So, DJing started when I was pretty young. It's actually the reason I started working as a kid; I wanted to buy my own DJ equipment, and I did. I started teaching myself around 15-16, but it wasn't until my late 30's that I grew the balls to try and do something with it outside of it being a hobby.

Did you ever try using a DJ moniker before deciding to just go by your (presumably) actual name?

My real name is Ted Nieves. I decided to use “DJ Bishop” back in the 90s, when the X-Men introduced this character named Bishop, who absorbed energy and converted it into concussive force. I've always felt that a DJ absorbs the energy from the crowd and turns it back to them as concussive beats, so it seemed appropriate. Later on, as I started working, I added it to my own name in order to help spread my brand.

As of right now, what do you enjoy spinning most when given the freedom to do whatever?

Oooh. I'm seriously feeling my Afro and tech house vibes when left to my own devices. Those beats just get right under your skin, and drive your hips into madness.

What have been some highlights for you, or major moments, DJing venues in this city over the years? 

Oh, that's a really hard question... but I think that I can narrow it down a bit! The first major milestone for me was when G Lounge asked me to be part of their now legendary DiLF party, promoted by Mark Lander and Franco DiLuzio. 

Next would be getting to be part of the team of DJs that work with NYC promoters Antonio Cedeno and Shane Tate. It's always an honor to be listed as a part of their teams. Also, being a part of the Fire Island Bear Weekend has been amazing. I've played the opening party two years in a row, and loved every minute of it.  

Finally, now being able to have my own party in partnership with John-John Punki (Mr. Eagle 2017) at Rockbar. Those are really some of my proudest moments.

Did you ever think the bear scene would become as huge as it is today?

Yes. The bear community was built out of a need for acceptance. The level of shaming and prejudice in the gay community has always been really bad. We're all aware that, often, the oppressed become the oppressors. Well, it is certainly true in the gay community. We are oppressed, so we need to oppress those who are larger than we think they should be, or skinnier than we think they should be, or who have a different color skin than we find attractive... and it goes on and on.

That doesn't mean, of course, that it's always love and light within the Bear Community. But I have certainly experienced more love and acceptance here than I have in the other aspects of gay life that I've experienced.

And with that said, that is why I believed from the beginning it would be a growing community. Who doesn't want to walk into a room of people that all look different, and not feel like they are judging you? Man, that's heaven right there.

Okay, that brings us to the gigs. First off, there’s the Pride edition of Soaked at Rockbar in the West Village on Friday, June 15. John-John appears,  J. Rios and Matty B. host, Viva Vidalia performs, and dudes in underwear get wet for our entertainment. This monthly has been a huge success for Rockbar!

This is actually my debut with the Soaked team, so I'm super excited about it. What makes it even more special is that there is a full upgrade of the sound system at Rockbar that [manager] Jason Romas and I worked on. It's going to be the official unveiling of that, and I can't wait to blow people's socks off with that sound.

And you'll be back with John-John at Rockbar for your actual monthly, Purgatory, on June 28th! Hey, why aren''t we calling it FURgatory?

LOL, we had originally wanted to use a different name, but had to change it at the last minute. “Purgatory” was whet we came up with because that sounded sexy and naughty, and it kinda stuck. But maybe we should put it to a vote and see if people would like us to change it to FUR-gatory.  What do you think?

Either works! What's the scene like?

It's a really fun vibe. The party takes place right after RuPaul’s Drag Race, so people are really happy (usually) and very chatty after the show. We like to carry that vibe over, and slowly make it sexier. I bring a blend of pop, house, and EDM to the event, and I keep it sexy with our gogo dancers. We've had awesome response to the event, and are excited to continue and see how it goes.

And tell us about (r)Evolution at the Hangar, also in the West Village. It looks that venue is trying to have more defined nights there (named parties, established DJs, some drag, etc).

Yes. (r)Evolution Saturdays at The Hangar was born out of them wanting to have a legit, full-on house music event that catered to the classic house heads, and the new kids that are still discovering what real house music is. DJ Mando and myself talked about it, and determined the sounds we wanted. We worked with management to come up with an official name for the event to start branding it, and breathe new life into this NYC gay nightlife fixture. 

There are a few plans to really begin fleshing out some other nights as well. As you know, the Hangar has been a haven for many of our brothers and sisters of color for decades now, and yet so many people don't even know about it. I mean, can you believe that this coming Pride march, they will be celebrating 25 years of service to our community?

Amazing! 

So, anything else coming up for you?

Well, along with Soaked and (r)Evolution this week, I have Purgatory next. And Pride Sunday is a double-header for me playing at Rebar from 2-9pm for their annual Pride celebration, followed by The Hangar's Annual Pride and 25th Year anniversary celebration. So, it's a jam-packed June for me.

Nice! Enjoy the gigs! Okay, last question: What should a young, new DJ do when trying to make a career in this business?

Work hard and promote yourself.  No one will believe you if you don't believe it yourself.

Thanks, Ted!

DJ Ted Bishop Nieves spins weekly Saturdays at The Hangar NYC (10pm), and last Thursdays at Rockbar for Purgatory (10pm). Check Thotyssey’s calendar for all his scheduled gigs, and follow DJ Ted on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

On Point Archives

[your-dietician]

'You have to just love it'

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/sports/you-have-to-just-love-it/

'You have to just love it'

Jazz Chisholm knows that baseball is difficult, that there remains a significant gulf he must cross to match his significant talent and overwhelming charisma to his production.

Right now, this is who Jazz is: A rookie infielder for the Miami Marlins whose stat line says his production is just above league average, but his swag suggests he’s anything but.

This is who Jazz could be: A dynamic, powerful, five-tool force, whose desire to disrupt the game could vault him atop the short list of burgeoning baseball stars with ever-elusive crossover appeal.

This is how he plans to get there: By sacrificing nothing – certainly not the vicious bat speed from his swing that ensures the home runs he does hit go very, very far. And certainly not the exuberance that vaulted him from the Bahamas to the big leagues, endearing him to fans and perhaps enabling him to join some of his athletic heroes – Kobe, LeBron, KD – as a wonder known only by one name.

And what’s the tune Jazz lives by?

“To this day,” he says, “I just always try to tell kids to be themselves. Don’t let nobody change you. You go out there and play the way you want to go play.

“That’s why I always do the crazy hair colors, I do my dances and I just have fun out there because I just want everybody to know, it’s OK to have fun on the baseball field.

“You know?”

If you don’t, you probably will soon.

Jazz Chisholm looks on before a game against the Braves.

Mark Brown, Getty Images

‘Why not bring it into the game?’

Perhaps you found out on Opening Day, when Chisholm fulfilled a promise made to Marlins ace Sandy Alcantara. Chisholm, whose hair changes color with the ease of South Florida weather patterns, was planning a platinum blonde look.

Yet as spring training wound down and Chisholm – who debuted on Sept. 1 in the pandemic-shortened 2020 – had a shot to make his first Opening Day roster, Alcantara had a suggestion.

Make the team, he said, and you dye your hair blue.

“I said, ‘I got you,’” Chisholm recalls. “It was history from there.”

Chisholm came through, breaking camp with the squad and showing up for the opener with a tone resembling a Louie-Bloo Raspberry Otter Pop.

Perhaps you noticed a couple weeks later, when Chisholm hit his second home run of the season, a towering shot off Atlanta’s Charlie Morton, and then, befitting his significant basketball skills, debuted a euro step as he crossed home plate.

Contrived?

Nope. Just a part of his personality, reflexive as a fist bump or handshake.

“I will walk around the clubhouse euro-stepping on people,” he says. “I’ll be in front of someone and last second, I’ll give ‘em a euro, you know, like, ‘Get out of the way.’ It’s something I do all day, every day.

“So why not bring it into the game? Why not misdirect it going into home, and then step on it?”

Chisholm has nine homers and 10 steals in 51 games.

Jasen Vinlove, USA TODAY Sports

It’s not like Chisholm is pimping home runs that scraped the top of the wall.

He is the only player this season to go deep on pitches of at least 100 mph, doing it first off the great Jacob deGrom on April 18 and then the Phillies’ Jose Alvarado a month later. He is, in fact, the only player with two such homers since pitch-tracking began in 2008.

Listed at 5-11 and 184 pounds, Chisholm – full name Jasrado Hermis Arrington Chisholm – seemingly manifested his skills by watching his grandmother play softball.

Yeah, Grandma could turn on one.

“The small person with the pop? Yeah, I think I got that from her, too,” he says.

Patricia Coakley, now 77, played on the Bahamian national softball team, and played the sport long enough for Jazz to see her compete both in slow- and fastpitch formats. He saw himself in her, from the aforementioned quick bat to the tenacious baserunning approach to her play at shortstop.

And so when Chisholm was barely old enough to hold a bat, he called dibs on the position, fully intending to never leave.

“I just loved seeing her play shortstop. I fell in love with watching her, too,” he says. “It was always like that from when I was probably 4 and 5 – just run straight to shortstop.

“Grandma’s a shortstop, I’m a shortstop.”

 Clearly, he picked an excellent role model, though there weren’t many others locally. Just eight players from the Bahamas preceded Chisholm to the majors, with infielder Andre Rodgers – who played from 1967 to ’77 – the only one to hold down anything resembling a full-time role. Antoan Richardson was the most recent, serving largely as a pinch runner from 2011 to 2014, and he’s now a coach for the San Francisco Giants.

Young Jazz focused on his grandmother’s exploits and fixated on televised games featuring Ken Griffey Jr., Barry Bonds and Derek Jeter.

And was convinced he’d play on their level.

“I always told myself that I was going to be a big leaguer, from a very young age,” he says. “It was not really tough believing I was going to be a big leaguer.”

Chisholm played plenty of ball stateside as a child, often in Miami, and attended a prep school in Kansas for a spell, eventually signing with Arizona as an international free agent. While he’s sanguine about his own rise, he’s humbled when he ponders his impact back home.

“Every time I go to the Bahamas I see a little kid telling me, ‘Hey, you made me start playing baseball,’” he says. “It makes me smile nonstop when I hear that.”

They have a dynamic hero to follow, even if he’s an unfinished product. Chisholm is on pace to hit 20 home runs and steal 20 bases this season; he clubbed his ninth home run of the season Thursday night in a loss to the Washington Nationals, pushing his batting average to .258 and his OPS to .766.

With just 276 plate appearances behind him, Chisholm has room to grow. That makes him a good match for Miami, which acquired him from Arizona for pitcher Zac Gallen in 2019. “I love the people out here,” he says. “This is just the life that I feel like I was here to live. My kind of place.”

Chisholm celebrates a home run against the Mets.

Andy Marlin, USA TODAY Sports

Fresh fish

The Marlins are 31-43 and lagging in the NL East, a pitching-centric club with a lineup that looks emaciated even within this season’s historically grim league environment.

Yet for a franchise dogged for decades by ham-handed ownership, they have a decidedly fresh feel.

They have a quietly beautiful ballpark still not yet a decade old, yet new owner Bruce Sherman bears none of the blame for bamboozling the city into a hideously bad stadium deal. In Jeter they have a CEO with star power but also patience, and the forward-thinking mentality to hire the first woman as a major league GM, the highly-regarded Kim Ng.

Alcantara and rookie lefty Trevor Rogers are worthy aces, with the injured Sixto Sanchez also capable of holding that role. At Class AA Jacksonville, pitching prospects Max Meyer and Edward Cabrera join outfielder J.J. Bleday, all consensus top 100 prospects nearing the big leagues.  

In Miami, Chisholm defers to veterans such as Jesus Aguilar and Miguel Rojas, who when healthy nudges Chisholm to second base. From a baseball standpoint, Chisholm says he goes to great lengths not to “get cocky with the veterans.”

Yet they share a desire to keep things loose, from the clubhouse to the kicks; Rojas has long used social media to amplify his shoe game, while Chisholm has donned footwear celebrating concepts as disparate as Miami Vice and Oreo cookies.

Earlier this week, he debuted a gold chain that commemorated a remarkable leaping catch against the Tampa Bay Rays.

“The Miami Marlins’ whole roster right now – you look at what they’re wearing on their feet, even down to the coaches sometimes, it’s just straight heat, I’m not going to lie,” says Chisholm. “Everybody is just into that stuff – having the swag, having fun on the field.”

 It all may seem a bit excessive for a second-division club, yet the Marlins also made the playoffs in 2020 and swept the Chicago Cubs out of them. Manager Don Mattingly says the veteran tone set by the likes of Aguilar and Rojas “helps your club create an atmosphere that guys like playing in.” He is confident Chisholm will develop greater consistency both in routine and performance, calling his development arc “pretty normal” for a first-year player.

As for Chisholm, he’s prepared for the roller-coaster the game provides. His homer Thursday broke a 15-day streak without a dinger, a period filled with too many weak ground balls. It is a hallmark of the game he chose that he might go days without making an impact, when instead of euro stepping over the plate he’s making an abrupt right turn back to the dugout.

He cannot control his fate in a manner that LeBron can or Kobe could, and if he’s given just one pitch to turn and burn on, he may very well miss it.

Chisholm knows this well and chooses not to dwell on it. Like the island kid who just knew he’d be a big leaguer some day, Chisholm may be right when he believes this game will reward his undying love for it.

“It’s not frustrating,” he says of failure, “because you know how hard the game is. It’s just like, ‘Man, I’m just praying I get another one. Give me another one.’ It’s not really like, ‘Man, I missed my only chance.’ No, because you still got two more strikes to play with. And you might get the worst swing of your life off, but it can be a hit.

“This game can really mess with your mind – because you could be hitting the ball as hard as you want every day and not get a hit. And then you can go break four bats in one day and have four hits. That’s why you have to just love it. Because even though it takes away, it gives back.

“And it gives back big.”

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[jrsechelon]

Where’s Your Crown King Henry?

Final Power Rankings 1. VanillaGorillas (10-4-0) ↑ [Up 1 Spot] 2. Evolution (10-4-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot] 3. Hyrule Empire (8-4-1) — [Remains 3rd] 4. Yuba City Sultans (8-6-0) ↑ [Up 2 Spots] 5. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints (8-6-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot] 6. The Canadian Cripplers (8-6-0) ↑ [Up 4 Spots] 7. Black Hole Son (7-7-0) ↓ [Down 2 Spots] 8. The Busy Killers (7-7-0) — [Remains 8th] 9. Straight Edge Society (7-7-0) ↓ [Down 2 Spots] 10. Ultimate Savages (6-8-0) ↑ [Up 2 Spots] 11. PURPLEHAZE (6-8-0) — [Remains 11th] 12. Thunderbuddy4Life (6-8-0) ↑ [Up 1 Spot] 13. Rainelo Hawks (6-8-0) ↓ [Down 4 Spots] 14. Balls Deep (5-8-1) — [Remains 14th] 15. Buds Bums (6-8-0) — [Remains 15th] 16. BroncosTillDeath (3-11-0) — [Remains 16th]

It's happening again. Derek Henry has established himself as one of the most dominant and impactful offensive players in the league as he heated up and carried Yuba City Sultans all the way from one of the worst records in the league to a Wildcard playoff team. The bruising Alabama product is tearing it up during the home stretch and continues to be overlooked because the Sultans aren't a flashy team. Henry now has 586 rushing yards and six touchdowns in his last four games. It was also his fourth game with 130-plus rushing yards since Week 6 and his eighth 100-plus-yard game of the year. It's such a quarterback-driven league that the Super Bowl race is often framed by comparisons of Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Josh Allen, Rusell Wilson, and Tom Brady but Henry is such a force that he has game and race-changing ability even at a significantly devalued position. With attendance limited by the COVID-19 pandemic, these playoffs just as the regular season have limited home-field advantage. "This year especially, with no fans, the home-field advantage is really going to be out the window," The Canadian Cripplers head coach Bruce Arians said recently, per The Athletic. "It's just going to be lining up and playing in empty stadiums. What has been a big, big part of the playoffs in the past is home-field advantage, [but] I don't think it's going to be an advantage this year. It's just a matter of getting in." Meanwhile, Henry has gone over 100 yards in nine consecutive road games and also tore up three of the teams in the playoffs clinching a Wildcard berth. Altogether, 64 percent of the 110-plus-yard performances in his career have come outside of home. That all bodes well for the Sultan's chances of making a run even though all their games will possibly all have to be on the road. Henry won't be afraid of that PURPLEHAZE run defense in a near-empty U.S. Bank Stadium.

Henry Focused On Super Bowl Run

So the path is as clear as imaginable for Henry to set the tone in the postseason for a Yuba City Sultans Super Bowl run despite the fact he's not Rodgers, Allen, Roethlisberger, Wilson, or even Brady, the greatest of all time. Justin Herbert, on the other hand, has been lighting it up every week. Solidifying himself as the Rookie of the Year - as well as possibly the Offensive Rookie of the Year. PURPLEHAZE begins the season with the 80-million dollar man at the helm, this was Kirk Cousins team, but losing five of the first six games gave way for the young rookie out of Oregon. “I think it’s another opportunity for us to go play football and get better and build off a win,” Herbert told reporters. Being only the second team to win their division with a losing record, they will have their hands full against the Sultans on Wildcard Weekend. PURPLEHAZE nor the Sultans faced one another in the regular season - but the record favors Yuba City Sultans in previous match-ups. Although this will be their first playoff match and Justin Herbert looks to help his team take the first postseason match between these two clubs. PURPLEHAZE, although the Mountain-West Champions and hosting a playoff game, come into this Wildcard Weekend as the underdog. Herbert can make all the throws and is extremely mobile at 6-foot-6 and 236 pounds. He ran a 4.68 40-yard dash at the Scouting Combine and was the MVP of the Senior Bowl.

Herbert Looking Like A Vet

Now that he is looking like Rookie of the Year, along with putting his team in the postseason (thank you, Ultimate Savages). Justin Herbert now has to silence the naysayers who don't believe his team has a chance. Herbert has put up historic numbers in his first season and his ceiling only continues to grow. Through this season, Herbert has showcased improved footwork and deep-ball accuracy. Winning when it mattered most is what Herbert has done. Going 4-1-0 in the division - Justin Herbert has proven why PURPLEHAZE has made the right decision in choosing the youngster to lead this team for possibly years to come. In a match that will showcase a young rookie against a fierce passing defense - Herbert will need to continue that veteran vision and accuracy to maintain an equal opportunity for his team against what is possibly the most difficult match-up in Wildcard Weekend. PURPLEHAZE has relied heavily on the arm of Herbert due to a weak rushing game. A team usually known to run the rock has changed their system to benefit their strengths. It's paramount they keep Herbert protected and upright - the receiver's routes must be run precisely, any slip up can cause turnovers or sacks. An intriguing match-up that will showcase tough defense on both sides with offensive fire-power through the air and on the ground. It's important to note that even though Derek Henry is the man on the Sultans, Nick Chubb is equally elusive and equally dangerous. PURPLEHAZE will need a perfect game on the arms of their quarterback and a defensive mentality that they're going to be punched but they'll be ready to punch back.

While Yuba City Sultans is riding the back of Derek Henry and the assistance of Nick Chubb, the top-seeded VanillaGorillas equally has their own running backs bruising the hearts of defenders. Two rookie running backs, but one in particular has taken the league by storm over the last month or so. He has 55 carries for 331 yards and two rushing touchdowns while adding nine receptions for 83 yards and a touchdown in the passing game over three games. VanillaGorillas Offensive coordinator Nick Sirianni attributes the improvements Johnathan Taylor has made to an increase in reps and confidence for the rookie. "Confidence and reps. That is as simple as it can be – confidence and reps. He just keeps getting reps, keeps getting better. He just keeps seeing it over and over and over again, and he is building confidence from that. You can see that,” Sirianni said. “Confidence is a crazy thing, and momentum and confidence is a great thing to have. He’s got that and he’s playing really good football right now.” At one point in the season, Taylor endured a three-game stretch in which he was essentially benched as VanillaGorillas rode the hot hand in the backfield. This leads me to D'Andre Swift, Swift was racking up the yards and damaging the front four of many defenders until having concussion-like symptoms that held him out for almost a month. Just in time for the postseason, VanillaGorillas will have Taylor and Swift who brings a boost to their offense, both in the run game and the passing game, as they continue to be able to get him more involved in the offensive rotation this week, it could spell problems for Black Hole Son. VanillaGorillas have been winning with rookies and these rookies have looked veteran savvy since day one.

Taylor Grinding To Sucess

Although VanillaGorillas is a majority of rookies, they are led by DeSean Watson who continues to do things that always leave us with our jaw on the floor. There have been recent rumors that VanillaGorillas general manager Kacey Sanders would like to see Tua Tagovailoa get the nod in what would be a shocking move. Tua has been riding the bench the majority of the year and if he gets the green light on Sunday, it'll be a very interesting decision. Tua has all the poise, talent, and knowledge to be great in this league but throwing him in there in a playoff game - where if you lose that's it. I'm not so sure it would be a good idea. What favors VanillaGorillas no matter who they play at the most important position of the game is with home-field throughout the playoffs, VanillaGorillas has a total home-field advantage - as for what that means, we've already clarified that. But remember, VanillaGorillas play in Chicago, with frigid temperatures. With home-field in Chicago in late December, there is a factor of weather that favors that ground and pound style of offense that they love to run. Black Hole Son will most definitely have something to say about it though. The defending Super Bowl Champions have stumbled and staggered into the postseason losing three straight to fall from the 1-seed last postseason to the 8-seed. Although they haven't been the same team since watching Dak go down earlier in the year, making the trade for Ben Roethlisberger who has been steady enough and a few stout defensive players before the trade deadline, has garnered formidable attention. The second-year safety, Khari Willis may have been overshadowed by rookie Julian Blackmon this season, but don’t mistake that for a lack of development from the Michigan safety. Willis has been turning in a strong season, showing improvements in both phases of the game. Once he landed in Las Vegas, his play on the field and poise off the field has been turned up a notch. "He’s just been special since he’s been here, just to be frank. He’s a great young man, he has high character. He brings energy and enthusiasm to the practice field. He’s very serious about his business, meaning that he’s a true pro," said defensive coordinator Matt Eberflus. "He’s a good player. That’s the one thing you have to be. He’s quick and explosive. He’s a good tackler and plays well in space. We’ve been having him primarily as the guy that drops down for us, that covers guys and fits the run game, but he can play in the deep part of the field too. He does a lot of things well for us, but I would say the main thing is the way he practices and the way he prepares and his energy and enthusiasm all the way through the week and into the game time. He’s pretty impressive." Willis had an impressive rookie campaign but he’s been even better in Year 2.

Black Hole Son's Defense Is Key To Victory

His improvements against the pass are shining through while he continues to be a play-maker against the run. A younger unit than many around the league, Black Hole Son's defense has gelled with the additions of DeForest Buckner and Xavier Rhodes into a group that has 22 takeaways, good for 3rd in the EFL. Although Black Hole Son has stumbled into the postseason they have all the key pieces they need to make another run to a Super Bowl repeat. The match-up against the top-seed though will be a task they are familiar with. These two teams met in Week 6 where VanillaGorillas destroyed Black Hole Son. The coaching staff of Black Hole Son admits they've been watching a ton of film on that game and previous games VanillaGorillas has played leading up to this Wildcard Weekend. Focusing on the mistakes made in the previous match-up will be key for the defending Super Bowl Champions to have a better outing over this weekend.

Another team that is hoping to return to the Super Bowl for the third straight year in what they hope will be a winning effort this time around is LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints have a franchise quarterback in place with Josh Allen as he continues outstanding play. With a potential MVP candidate behind center, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints took what looked good on paper this spring and has made it a reality. The third-year quarterback's adjustments have propelled him to the top tier of quarterbacks in the league. Through hard work, due diligence regarding his mechanics, and a system set up for him to succeed, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints have found something special in arguably the most unrefined yet tantalizing talent in recent memory. His size (6'5", 237 lbs), mobility, and ridiculous arm strength are only good if they're harnessed properly, which they have been.

Josh Allen Continues To Build

With two touchdown passes Sunday, Allen has a franchise-record 35 total touchdowns, he's consistently winning from the pocket with a completion percentage hovering near 70 percent while retaining those same qualities that made him such an intriguing developmental option. A player's situation matters more than most are willing to give credit. Allen has benefited greatly from working with the same head coach and offensive coordinator for the last three seasons. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints continued to develop Allen and the strides are paying off. Returning to the postseason once again they are looking to continue taking those steps toward another Super Bowl Title for their franchise. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints did exactly what was expected of them this offseason. High expectations didn't cause this team or its quarterback to falter under the pressure. They are who many of us thought they would be thanks to Allen finally realizing his full potential and not looking back to past struggles. Although the ceiling is high for Allen and LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, the recent news of surgery for Ronald Jones as well as falling onto the COVID-reserve list is a stub in the toe for this team. Julio Jones is still a non-participant in practice and if can't go they will again hope for big performances from Cole Beasley and the cheetah, Tyreek Hill. The running game will have to be led by the double Johnson duo with Ronald Jones unlikely to go. So like many weeks now, Tyreek Hill and Josh Allen will once again be asked to shoulder the load in a pivotal Wildcard Weekend match-up against the 2-seed, when they travel to South Florida and battle Aaron Rodgers and Evolution. Rodgers leapfrogged any other quarterbacks in Week 14 to sit atop the EFL's Total QBR rankings. He has done it by throwing a league-high 39 touchdown passes against only four interceptions, the fewest picks by any quarterback who has played the maximum of 14 games this season. Rodgers' completion rate of 69.6%, meanwhile, is the highest through 14 games of any season in his career. Evolution's quarterback Aaron Rodgers is one of just nine players to have ever won Most Valuable Player honors twice, winning a third MVP and joining an even more exclusive club is still a goal for the 37-year old Rodgers as he is one of the favorites to win the award heading into the postseason, but winning a Super Bowl is his top priority. "Super Bowl is number one, when you start the season your top goal is to win the division. We did that, now it's getting to the Super Bowl. MVP can come along the way." Rodgers said, Wednesday after practice. Rodgers is having one of the best seasons of his career. He leads the league in passing touchdowns with 39 and could break his single-season record of 45 by the end of the year. He’s accomplished that while throwing just four interceptions and racking up 3,685 yards through 13 games. He also leads the league in passer rating at 119.7.

Rodgers Playoff Focused

Evolution hasn't been to the Super Bowl since Super Bowl II - since then they have been trying to build a team to get them over that hump of postseason misery. Entering the postseason for the thirteenth straight season is an accomplishment in itself but when you haven't been able to return to the Super Bowl since your first postseason run, that accomplishment only goes so far. "We know what’s in front of us, what’s at stake. But that’s not going to change our approach. We’re going to still go one game at a time. You just can’t take anything for granted in this game. No matter who you’re playing. You’ve got to go out and earn it each and every week." Evolution's head coach, Matt LaFleur said, regarding the postseason and a match-up against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. Through this season, Aaron Rodgers has been near perfect. A half-dozen guys registered multiple catches. The run game was solid, and the defense has done its job late, playing situational football and forcing opponents to bleed the clock on its way down the field. They know that the job isn't finished and they know the opponent in front of them isn't one to take likely. While Evolution has been unable to reach that Super Bowl since Super Bowl II, they are 2-0 against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints in the postseasons past, and at home with 30% capacity crowd allowed, you've got to believe Evolution will fight to the final whistle to try and extinguish those postseason heartaches of seasons past toward their ultimate goal. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints is no slouch and we already see that Josh Allen versus Aaron Rodgers is the marquee match-up of the Wildcard Weekend. So here we go and get ready because it'll live up to the hype!

The final Wildcard match which can equally hold up to the Allen/Rodgers main-event match would have to be the Brady versus Wilson co-main-event of this weekend. Tom Brady’s first season with the Cripplers has been a mixed bag of wins and uncharacteristic losses. As one of the biggest names in the game, criticism has been constantly hurled at Brady. This is understandable. But head coach Bruce Arians doesn’t understand why people continue to slam Brady. "I don’t know why anyone’s criticizing Tom," Arians told reporters on Wednesday, "What he did at the end of the half and to start the second half [against] The Busy Killers — very, very few teams can do what he does and how he's helped us. He’s not getting enough credit for what he’s doing." After all, without Brady, The Canadian Cripplers wouldn't have been able to get into field goal range as fast as they did, which allowed for a Mason Crosby 58-yarder game-winning kick that would have been good from 63. With Crosby's leg and Brady's ability to execute the 2:00 minute drill, The Canadian Cripplers have now found themselves in the postseason for the first time in five years. On paper, this is a playoff team. It might even be a Super Bowl team. But the games aren’t played on paper, and the Cripplers absolutely have to take care of business in a way that is sloppy, incoherent, and even head-scratching at times. Even if they don’t look like Super Bowl favorites on the field right now, they have to get to the dance and give themselves a chance. The odds are in this team’s favor, they've already defeated Hyrule Empire earlier in the year, they have all the key pieces in place too, but as we’ve seen, the odds have been good before only for the team to defy them and fall flat on its face. But this year—with this team—it has to be different. What's most important is to keep Brady upright, we know how he crumbles under pressure and lucky for The Canadian Cripplers, Tristan Wirfs is exceeding expectations. After 14 games of watching Tristan Wirfs lock down the right tackle spot, Crippler fans have seen exactly what the Cripplers’ decision-makers saw when they made that deal to trade up and draft him. Wirfs has played 861 snaps in his rookie season so far, allowing just one sack and committing three penalties, all while going up against some of the EFL’s best pass rushers. Keeping Tom Brady protected has been the most important task for the Cripplers offense this season, and they’re doing a phenomenal job through 14 games.

Wirfs Robin To Brady

Wirfs is a big reason why, and it makes this management look pretty smart for landing arguably the best offensive tackle in an extremely deep class. Sunday Wirfs will have his hands full. Not only does he and the rest of the offensive line have to protect Brady and allow him time to put together plays down the field. They are going to have to do it against a top-3 pass-rushing defense. The defense prides themselves on hard-nosed football, hitting their opponents with full force and getting to the quarterback in spy packages. The early morning report shows that several key players have been limited in practice. Safety Anthony Levine (abdomen), and cornerback Tramon Williams (thigh). Peters returned to the field and finished Monday’s loss against Thunderbuddy4Life after hobbling off with that calf injury, but Smith did not see action after leaving in the first half. Marlon Humphrey and Anthony Averett were the only cornerbacks on the roster who practiced without limitations Wednesday. Williams’ return to the field, albeit in a limited fashion, might offer some relief in the defensive backfield. The 37-year-old corner missed the past two games with his thigh injury and hadn’t practiced in weeks. Campbell, a five-time Pro Bowler, played 34 defensive snaps Monday, his most since suffering a calf strain on November 8th. He said Wednesday he is still not fully healthy but has been improving. Welch, an undrafted rookie linebacker, has contributed on special teams this season. The severity of his foot injury is not known. With all of these injuries coming at a time that you need your best players to contribute, The Canadian Cripplers offensive line and offense in general may be coming into a favorable situation. Although, we cannot forget who is on the other side. Russell Wilson. This is Hyrule Empire's first postseason appreance. They won their division four weeks ago and now have a chance to continue their success story. Much like Black Hole Son, Hyrule Empire stumbled into the postseason losing two straight. Winning their division was what gave them a chance to rest some of their star atheletes and after the injuries we saw on Monday, I'm sure they wish they would have rested even more. Hyrule Empire was basically locked up as the 3-seed so for them getting right and healthy was key for their first postseason match-up. Quarterback Russell Wilson was off his game over the course of the last few games and it was unclear what the issues were. Wilson put together a solid performance against the Thunderbuddy4Life, though, completing 21 of 27 passes for 206 yards and four touchdowns with one interception. It was thought to be one of his more excellent games this year. Tom Brady is the Greatest Quarterback of All Time, but Russell Wilson is on his way there. Wilson is already one of the greatest athletes we have ever seen in American sports. He came up short in his first two meetings with Brady.

DangeRuss Ready To Cook

The third will be Wilson's chance to show the GOAT what's up. And unless Brady plays four more seasons, or gets a rematch next season, this will be the last time Brady and Wilson face off in a game. Wilson is having the best season of his career, with 27 passing touchdowns to just two interceptions (neither of which were his fault). The sheer confidence that Russell has when he starts cooking is scary, that they can score from anywhere on the field at any time. When Hyrule Empire and Wilson become that insync Hyrule Empire is no longer just a well-oiled machine. They are software. Their speed and efficiency is effortless. "We're out here having fun, doing what we love." Russell Wilson said, Wednesday after practice. "It's a give and take - you have to know when to give and let other guys take control, I can't do it all alone, I have ten other guys out there to lean on, and who expect they can lean on me." The mentality Wilson pocesses is something his father instilled in him long before he was lacing up his cleats for professional football games, it's a mentality that is never breaking and ever enduring through all trials and tribulations. Hyrule Empire and Wilson have been married to one another season, after season, after season. The consistency is paying off. Season's past we thought, this is the year that Hyrule Empire makes a run - only for injuries to occur or for the team to not gel until after being eliminated from postseason contention. This was a different year, they came out of the gate hot! Winning three straight, with two being divisional games, they stumbled against Evolution but came back the next week to defeat VanillaGorillas and defending Champions, Black Hole Son. Week 7 they lost by 10-points to The Canadian Cripplers which should give them confidence that they will have a tight game which they can win in the final drive. Wilson is confident and he isn't scared about who is across the field on the opposite sideline. Tom Brady isn't worried about the hype or what the media spins leading up to this match-up; Brady is concerned at getting the job done and putting this franchise back on top. The Canadian Cripplers haven't been relevant since they won Super Bowl II - it's been five years since they even made the postseason, where they were one-and-done. Believe me, neither Brady nor Wilson want to see their season end Wildcard Weekend, unfortantely for one, it will happen. The ride though, the battle, the grit, and the blood, sweat, and tears we will see are going to againt be another classic between two of the greatest to ever lace up those cleats.

CLICK TO VOTE

2021 Draft Order 1. BroncosTillDeath (4-10-0) 2. Balls Deep (5-8-1) 3. Rainelo Hawks (6-8-0) 4. Buds Bums (6-8-0) 5. Ultimate Savages (6-8-0) 6. Thunderbuddy4Life (6-8-0) 7. The Busy Killers (7-7-0) 8. Straight Edge Society (7-7-0) 9-16 Yet To Be Determined

[ejdecastro]

Moneyball

Billy Beane was a prodigy in the sport of baseball when he was in high school and he was recruited early by the New York Mets at a young age and was given a decision that can clearly drive the path to his chosen career. He had the option to go to Stanford with a scholarship or play directly to the Major League Baseball and he chose to be drafted without going to college. Scouts said that he had all the five tools and this was unique in baseball players during that time because he was one of a kind and passing up on an opportunity to draft him will be a decision they cannot manage. This was a decision that would change his life because he did not perform the way the scouts expected him to be which made him a bust in the draft. As a person who loves to watch and play sports, I know this happens and sometimes people do not live up to the expectations of others and that exactly what happened to Billy. It did not clearly show why he did not perform well in his professional baseball career but what I can say is he was pressured too much that the sport is looking at him as the next great player. With the pressure put on him he did not live up to the expectations and made a choice to be a scout rather than to continue playing as a baseball player.

As a player who had a lot of potential but did not perform well, Billy decided to be a scout for the Oakland Athletics after only a short time in his career as a baseball player. I would say that he decided to switch careers because he did not want others to experience what happened to him and he wanted to give chance to other players as well to show that they can prove something. Even though he cannot give the Oakland Athletics a championship as a player, he wanted to give the organization a ring as a general manager who turned a small money team into a team that can compete for the world series.

Billy changed his approach in recruiting and selecting players because he knew that money was not the team’s problem. He knew that they cannot compete with the high market teams like New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox because they are just a small team. As the year 2001 was upsetting for them their key players were recruited by other teams and what the management suggested is that they replace these players but Billy did not see it that way because the same events will just happen and they still won’t be able to compete at a high level. As he wanted to make a deal with the manager of the Cleveland Indians, he saw Peter Brand who was saying some things when he was making a deal. Peter Brand saw the game in a different perspective and he did not believe in using money to recruit baseball players because he said that it did not reciprocate to the amount they are paying to these players. It was the answer Billy was looking for and he immediately recruited him to be in the management because they are thinking the same way on how the game of baseball can be changed. When deciding on players for their re-build, Billy and Peter went with unconventional players that other teams lost hope for. They are trying to recruit players who has more to offer but also not pay a lot of money because they do not have it. It was really unconventional because they recruited players which are not in the talks of the sport but they have to believe in their idea for it to work out. The people in the management did not believe in their idea of recruiting other players but Billy was the general manager and he makes the decision at the end of the day.

The other scouting agents thought that this idea was crazy because they are getting players who does not seem to be able to help the team improve. No one believed in Billy and Pete because what they are doing is a real unconventional way of creating a team in sports. One scouting agent even got fired because he really did not want what Billy did to the team. They thought that the actions done by Billy will further bring the team down because the players he wants to acquire were not enough to win games. Despite all these arguments he had with the other scouting agents, Billy stayed true with his idea and pursued what he and Peter planned. They wanted to prove that they can change the game and even though the start of it was not as pleasant as what they have expected they still continued do believe in their vision and that is what I liked about them because if you have a vision you need to stay true to it and believe that it can be possible because not all people will believe in you but you always have to believe in yourself.

The new approach Billy and Pete have made created new opportunities for these players. Yes, most if not all of the scouts would say that they are washed for choosing these players for their rosters but they did not know the vision Billy and Pete had for the team. Scott Hatteberg had an injury which caused him to be a free agent and they gave him a chance to prove that he could still be an essential part of the team. Chad Bradford had a weird way of pitching which is why other teams do not get him but it is in the numbers and not about the looks. David Justice was an all star before he came to the team and now, he is old and other teams do not see him as an essential part of baseball but Billy proved it wrong because he can still be productive from the team’s end. Jeremy Giambi was given a chance to prove himself but he was the only one out of the three new recruits who did not change and caused himself to be traded because he did not change at all. Scott Hatteberg was the one who was most affected because Billy had a different plan for him which is to play a different position which turned out well and proved that a player can be better if he works hard and practices. There are also other players who were traded in the middle of the season. This approach made by Billy and Pete benefited these players because they given them a chance to show the sport that they can do something. Even though they did not win the championship they proved all the scouts and sport veterans wrong because they did a historic thing which is to win 20 straight games. It only proved that the vision Billy and Pete had made these players bloom and show off that they can still offer something to the sport.

The Boston Red Sox offered Billy to be their general manager after the 2002 season because he changed how the teams in the sport is managed. He proved that it is not all about money and there are other ways to form a team that can compete. The owner of the Boston Red Sox realized that the new system that Billy used is the future of Baseball and he did not want to let go of the chance for him to be the general manager of the team. Billy was offered 12.5 million dollars and he declined the offer and chose to stay with the Oakland Athletics. If I would be answering if Billy should have accepted the offer, I would say if he needs the money then sure go with the Boston Red Sox but he is not in need of the money and I know that his purpose in the sport of baseball is not to be the highest paid general manager in sports history but to give the Oakland Athletics a championship. He also promised her daughter that he will not lose his job and that he will not be leaving to find another one which made me proud of him because he kept his promise to his daughter. Upon searching for Billy Beane, he is still currently in Oakland Athletics and I am happy to know it because he is still fully committed to his goal to give the team a championship. These types of people are rare to see in sports right now because most of the players in this time goes for the money which is why it makes me happy to see loyal people who are really determined to give their team a championship.

Change is inevitable and it is difficult to accept and carry out because we love how we used to be in our life. If we get used to something it means that we accepted the fact that it is already part of our life and when change comes it makes it difficult for us to accept because we need to get used to it again. Despite all these we still try to make the most of the changes that happen because we all know that we could not get the past back and what we can do is to make the most out of the present time for us to have a better future. People try their best to change their lives even though they face a lot of challenges because they want to prove that their situation can be made better if they strive to change for the better. The challenges in our lives are lessons for us to learn from and they are made for us to grow and to become a better person. Despite all the odds that may exist people still try their best to change their lives because giving up is not an option and we can achieve what we want if we persevere and if we are determined to change for the better. The outcome will be more worth it if it was achieved through hardships. All the hard work and perseverance payed off and the hardships will be covered up by the outcome or the goal that we have been wanting to achieve. It is like a goal you really want to achieve but it took you a lot of time to get because of all the obstacles but once you achieve that goal, it would be really worth it because you know you worked hard for it and you deserved it.  

I would just like to share that this movie was so inspiring because it goes to show that despite all the odds that we are facing there will always be a light waiting for us at the end. If we just stay true and believe in our vision, we could achieve something great and we should not let other people put us down if we know that what we are doing is for the better. We need to be patient because results will not show immediately and it takes time to prove what we worked hard for just like what Billy and Pete did. We should take them as an example that if you believe in yourself, you can achieve things that was just a dream for you before. Despite all the hardships, you should keep fighting because there will always be great results at the end for people who work hard and does not give up on their dreams.

[fakehappyhq]

Hey, guys.

So I’m sure that for most of you, this is going to come as somewhat of a shock, but Mod Rigby and myself have come to the conclusion that it’s time to close Fake Happy. It truly breaks our hearts to have to do this but it’s become apparent that we can’t salvage things. No amount of taking on other mods or easing up how much we log onto the main would change declining mental health on both our parts. We have to put ourselves first and be selfish in this instance. The closure of this group is just coming sooner than either of us would’ve liked. 

A part of this is to do with the fact our group grew very rapidly and with the various aspects of our plot, it became difficult to keep up with. We haven’t been able to reach the full potential of what our group was supposed to be, and for this, we’re truly sorry. The following will be separate personal messages from us both, and it would mean a great deal to us if you read them. 

Before we do that, though... we’d like to offer some groups we feel you guys may be able to take your characters and hopefully feel at home. 

@crave-hq -- reality television, small in size @newskinhq -- freelance, appless, small in size @harmonyrpg -- town au, small in size @betterweatherhq -- freelance, small in size @blushhq -- tour, truth or dare, large in size @unlostrp -- freelance, large in size @theplasticscenerpg -- blackmail, supernatural, needs apps to open

I would first of all like to say that I feel absolutely terrible that the Hallowe’en episode didn’t get posted. I wanted to go out with a bang and end things on a good note but it’s just not going to be feasible, and I am so incredibly sorry. I feel like we’ve wasted people’s time, and I feel like I’m letting all of you down. Just writing this message is taking me a long time because I cannot stop crying. 

I love this group so much, but I’m starting to resent it. I wanna get a little bit real and say that after I modded my previous group, I wasn’t really interested in modding again. It hurt me deeply to have to close the place down, but it dragged my mental health through the mud to run it. But I came up with this idea, and when I voiced it to Mod Rigby, she was excited for me and immediately offered to co-mod. I was totally on board. We created the group in less than a week. It’s been a joy to mod with her. 

I don’t want to say this is the end of Fake Happy forever... we may, at some point, decide to bring it back, so the main will likely stay up. But if we ever decide this... it will likely be very far in the future. 

I wanted to make a group that people could feel safe in and have creative control, whilst still incorporating my own creativity. But it recently occurred to me I haven’t really had a chance to thrive in my own group. I got too focused on the mod side of things, and then the group increased rapidly in size, and I just never really found a balance between my characters, mental health, and being a mod. Being a mod overtook all else and you don’t need me to tell you how incredibly unhealthy that’s been for me. For me, the only solution right now is to close, and I hate that it’s the only solution. 

Thank-you for sticking with us. Thank-you for allowing us to flex our creative muscles since July 26th on this wonderful group. Thank-you to the friends of mine that joined and supported this group. You’re all very creative yourselves, and very talented. Be kind to each other. 

Again, I’m really sorry that we’re closing. Posting this message is going to make me ache for days because I’ll feel so much guilt and sadness that it’s over. But I love you all and it’s just time for Mod Rigby and I to heal ourselves. We can’t be good mods for you if we’re not taking care of ourselves. 

Quick shout-out to our temporary Mod Skips for being my moral support for a hot minute when Mod Rigby was out of the game. 

I could type for days and days but I need to stop at some point. I’m just very sorry, and I’m glad so many of you were so board with our crazy detailed idea enough to join us. Some of you have been here pretty much since we opened, and to you Fake Happy veterans in particular, bless you. 

See you when I’m lookin’ at you. 

- Mod Mordecai Xo

For two solid months, I thoroughly enjoyed modding Fake Happy. It felt good to be able to say that we were doing everything within our power to ensure a safe and fun group for the majority of you here. It felt good to curate a space that has come to be known for being run by proactive mods. We truly did everything we could to keep things afloat, and it’s with heavy hearts that we’ve come to this decision. As we grew in numbers, the severity of our responsibilities as mods increased further than we could sustain.

On top of modding this group and playing my baby, Jake Ewald, I’m also a retail business owner preparing for my first holiday season which is enough alone to overwhelm someone. The past month or so, I’ve found myself buried in modding duties... leaving no time to actually roleplay once all of the t’s were crossed and i’s dotted. After returning from my much-needed sabbatical... I couldn’t get back in touch with my muse for roleplaying, and I fear that putting too much pressure on myself to go above everyone’s expectations of me is the cause of that. This is no-one’s fault but my own. In the future, I hope to get back into the swing of things, but only time will tell. 

To everyone that I had active plots with, I’m so incredibly sorry that I’ve been a ghost these past few weeks. You’ll all be getting personal messages once I’ve recouped from the whirlwind that modding this group has been -- I just wanted to make sure you know that I am sorry for checking out on my actual roleplaying. 

To all of you, I’m so sorry that this party is ending so suddenly. I wish you all the best of luck in all your future endeavors... both in your day-to-day lives as well as in roleplay. Thanks for sticking with us! 

- Mod Rigby <3

[junker-town]

How Obi Toppin went from overlooked recruit to NBA draft lottery pick

This is how Toppin went from recruiting afterthought to national player of the year and a future lottery pick at Dayton.

Obi Toppin pinpoints a man in the lower bowl wearing a Dayton jersey minutes before tip-off during a December game against Saint Mary’s. The two make eye contact and appear to be the only people in the building who know what’s coming next. Toppin jogs toward the hoop and throws down an achingly beautiful windmill dunk, with levitation and fury unfurled in equal parts. The crowd explodes, as does teammate Jalen Crutcher, who sarcastically celebrates next to his superstar teammate.

Toppin is ready. He opens the game with a block at the rim after switching onto Saint Mary’s standout Jordan Ford. The transition dunks pile up. The Gaels are one of the best teams Dayton will face all year, but they are no match for the Flyers’ high-powered offensive attack. Toppin finishes with 16 points and six rebounds on the way to a 78-68 win that pushes Dayton to 7-1 on the season. The school that received just one vote in the preseason AP top 25 is well on its way to becoming one of the biggest stories in college basketball.

Toppin’s rise has just begun.

Growing up in Brooklyn, Toppin came across as just another New York teenager with a basketball jones. He didn’t play in the AAU circuit and didn’t dunk until he was a senior in high school. No national recruiting service ranked him coming out of high school. A family connection might have been the only way anyone was going to see him. A friendship between Toppin’s godfather and Rodrick Harrison, the head coach of the Baltimore prep school Mt. Zion, brought Harrison to New York to watch Toppin play.

Harrison saw Division I talent, despite how raw Toppin was. He also saw a hunger in Toppin to prove himself in a crowded field of recruits with bigger names.

“You can find any 6’4 kid around the city, maybe 1,000 of them if you look hard enough, so he wasn’t sought after,” Harrison says.

Not only was Toppin behind because he didn’t gain the experience of competing against great players, he didn’t get the same exposure as other kids. Toppin desperately wanted to understand how he could distinguish himself.

“He had boundaries around him and it humbled him,” Harrison says.

Most top NBA Draft prospects never consider prep school — they’re given scholarship offers by the time they’re able to drive. Toppin took the long road. He was never ranked by any of the major recruiting services, and only started to come on after the early signing period. The eight scholarship offers made to Toppin were viewed simply as a means to add some upside depth late in the recruiting process when supply is lower than demand.

But after growing four to five inches and gaining 20 pounds from his junior year of high school through the end of prep school, Toppin signed with Dayton and coach Anthony Grant. Knowing academic ineligibility was looming, Toppin focused during his redshirt year on readying teammates as part of the scout team in practice, measuring himself up against the players on opposing teams he was imitating. At the end of the season, Toppin received the Dayton Spirit Award. Grant believes it was the first time the honor was ever awarded to an inactive player.

Former Dayton star Josh Cunningham, now with the Westchester Knicks of the G League, remembers how tireless Toppin was, even then. “When I was around, he was really one of those people who attacked every practice, every workout, every lift session, every conditioning session, he really got after it,” he says.

Toppin went on to set the Dayton freshman scoring record and immediately turn NBA scouts’ heads. Though he appreciated the feedback he got from teams as he tested the waters that offseason, he knew he’d have a starting spot waiting for him at Dayton, and never really expected to leave school before his redshirt sophomore year.

NBA evaluators had a lot of praise for Toppin, noting how Grant’s system helped him show skills — such as three-point shooting and defensive versatility — that they would need from him at the next level. Toppin took what they said and brought it back to his team.

“My whole motive was to go to these workouts, get a lot of feedback to bring back here to school and help myself and help my teammates with what it takes to play at the next level,” Toppin says.

He did more than help. On his way to winning the national player of the year award, Toppin turned in one of the most dominant individual season in recent memory. He finished in the 99th percentile of points per possession throughout college basketball and had a sky-high 68.4 true shooting percentage. Thanks in large part to Toppin’s growth as a shot creator, Dayton had the country’s No. 2 offense and was poised to enter the NCAA tournament as a No. 1 seed before the coronavirus pandemic canceled it.

Though Toppin led Dayton’s improvement, the sophomore is undoubtedly a product of the program around him, the head coach atop it, and the teammates that unlocked his special style.

Take, for example, Toppin’s jumper. Sensing the versatility inherent in Toppin’s physique and skill level as a teen, Harrison pushed him hard to become a better shooter all the way back at Mt. Zion. They would take sets of 1,000 shots and practice the rhythms of spacing the floor.

“He may have looked at me like I was crazy a couple times, but he never ran from it,” Harrison says. “That’s why he is who he is now. Once he trusts you, he’s going to do anything for you.”

Toppin knows the total number of threes he took as a freshman (21) off the top of his head. It was one of the main things he heard from NBA evaluators last summer, so he knew he would have to increase his volume and comfort level from deep. Teams wanted him to be less streaky. Toppin responded by tripling his attempts from 2018-19 and nailing a solid 36.2 percent. He made at least one triple in 19 of Dayton’s 26 games.

“I just stay true to what the coaches ask me to do and what’s best for our team, and I think that’s why they have so much trust in me and why I’ve been shooting a lot more threes,” Toppin says.

Few coaches in the league, however, would have the gall to start Toppin and Ryan Mikesell in the frontcourt. Grant says he believed the reward of playing small would outweigh the risk on defense. In Toppin, he found the perfect happy warrior to pull it off, with the right dose of offensive versatility.

The threat of Toppin’s jumper turned the pick and pop into a devastating weapon for Dayton. With Toppin slipping the screen, defenses didn’t know if he would pop out for a three, roll to the rim, or settle into the post. With an improved handle and incredible passing vision, he became a threat to create a high-efficiency shot in any situation. Everything flowed from the rim, where Toppin shot 82 percent this season.

The threat of a Toppin dunk comes in every area of the game. Because of how well Dayton moved the ball, Toppin could trust that when he gave it up, there was always a strong chance the ball would find its way back to him.

When there wasn’t an immediate opening, Toppin was perhaps even more comfortable settling into the post, where nearly a quarter of his possessions ended this season. Toppin’s ability to keep his dribble and spray passes around the floor from inside was key to making Grant’s small-ball dreams come alive.

“I’m always going to trade up a hard shot for a better shot,” Toppin says. “The game started to slow down for me, and my teammates and coaches started talking to me, that with the recognition that I’m getting, the way I roll to the post, the athleticism that I have, the amount of attention that’s gonna come toward me if they double-team or triple-team me in the post, there’s always going to be someone open.”

The veteran experience at Dayton also helped. All five starters had been at the school for at least three years. That cohesiveness allowed them to improve dramatically on defense over the course of the season, though this is the area in which Toppin still needs the most work. One NBA scout who saw Toppin in-person this year believes the defense is a big enough question to negate his positional versatility.

While Toppin’s mobility is above-average compared with most college forwards, he still gets blown by on the perimeter in Dayton’s switch-heavy scheme. Though Grant’s unique Dayton scheme suited Toppin well, he was equally challenged by it, asked to play on the perimeter more than nearly any college big. Without a traditional rim protector among their core rotation, Toppin was relied upon to contain dribble drives off switches, and the results weren’t always pretty.

Because of a high center of gravity that limits his shiftiness, it will be difficult for Toppin to negotiate the NBA’s favorite action, the pick and roll, as a traditional big man defender. So in the pros, teams still should take advantage of his length and athleticism (and an “intangible ability to react” as former Dayton assistant Donnie Jones calls it) on switches. Coaches may be picking between the lesser of evils when deploying Toppin defensively. It’s not as if he’s a terrible perimeter defender. In many situations, his length and athleticism have helped him contain ball-handlers and contest their shots — it just takes more effort for him than most.

Toppin exclusively played center in college, but he might not have the size and defensive instincts to hold down that position in the NBA. He may have to be a swing big man who can play either spot depending on which look his coach wants to give — a “prototypical 4” according to Jones, who also spent time as a scout for the Clippers.

Some have compared Toppin to Atlanta’s John Collins, another tweener big man with enough size and offensive versatility to merit some minutes at center. Toppin could be more consistent as weak-side rim protector and learn to move better on defense, but he’s shown enough flashes for their to be belief in his ability to improve in these departments. The onus falls on Toppin to work on his body, earn coaches’ trust and demand the chance to prove himself. If there’s anything he’s succeed at with Dayton, it’s that.

Since before the NBA was even a dream, Toppin has worked tirelessly. Now, he’s a near lock to be a top-10 pick. Through it all, he has maintained the humility of a player who had been overlooked all his life.

“His continued effort to stay humble in spite of our team success will only make us better,” Grant says. “I’ve had the experience of 30 years in this game, and I’ve seen guys who sometimes get accolades and when they get to certain positions, it becomes hard to accept when adversity hits or when challenges come your way, so I try to stay real.”

Toppin’s focus is on the day-by-day grind just as it was when he was on the scout team, prepping guys like Cunningham for the next matchup. Now that the college season is over, and he’s officially declared for the NBA Draft, college basketball’s best player and most pleasant surprise is onto the next phase of his career.

“I’m not the person who focuses on a next-year thing,” Toppin says. “I’m always worried about the next day because tomorrow’s never guaranteed to anybody.”

[deskcoin64-blog]

Ask Sam Mailbag: 11.23.18

Basketball is the toughest sport to referee.  In college intramurals, I was a ref for many sports and basketball was easily the toughest, can't even imagine how tough it is in the NBA. With that said, it seems to be getting a little crazy some of these fouls called on Wendell Carter Jr. This rookie doesn't get the call thing seems to go too far with this seemingly mild-mannered kid. Besides just him, can they fix something with this "jump into the defender" when he's in the air, Dwayne Wade mastered, type of play.  It is getting ridiculous!  A defender jumps, and the offense literally jumps five feet toward the defender in a terrible shooting attempt and is barely touched by him and it is a foul? Is there some way to limit this absurd play that can end up ruining a game?

Jon Kueper

Sam: I know; it’s awful, but I have noticed they have stopped giving every foul call to James Harden when he throws himself at defenders, which more than Carmelo is the reason the Rockets got off to a slow start. I generally have the backs of the officials, though I recognize fewer and fewer of them every game. They get it as close as you can get it right as you understand having tried. They always say a foul is a foul, but we all know it isn’t certain times in the game, especially at the end of quarters, and for certain people versus other people. It’s not right, but life isn’t all a level playing field, either. Often Carter has been victimized by the officials who not only don’t know him, like Natalie Sago in the Suns game. I’ve noticed that some of the new ones when they haven’t made a foul call for awhile find a young player. Some would say the player has to defend himself more and complain. I commend Carter for not falling into that ugly trap, remaining professional and respectful, and I believe things will even out for him as they generally do in these situations. But it is another positive sign of his maturity and class the way he handles inequity and injustice. I’m also supporting him for Congress.

I think the Bulls are a little behind schedule in wins because of injuries.  But, the talk about Jabari Parker being a failure seems pre-mature.  One thing I noticed though that bothers me is his attitude with the media.  He seems to be at war with the media with his short answers and blank stares.   I have been a Chicago Bulls fan for 30 years.  And he could be a valuable piece; however, he needs a real attitude adjustment. I wish Gar and Paxson could sit him down and tell him to relax and grow some thicker skin.  What’s your prognosis for Parker and utilizing his talents? He could breakout with Dunn, Markkenen and Portis comeback.

Ryan Carpel

Sam: Thanks for the support. I know in this era it’s fashion to widely and angrily condemn media, but it’s a sensitive subject for those of us who hope to connect fans with their favorites (and others). Really, that’s what we do. You think everyone loves standing around while Robin Lopez gets dressed? The misconception is we are in this to become friends with the subjects or gain fame trough their reflected glow. Some are; the great majority are not. They’re basically working people who are serious about their jobs, which are generally more fun than yours but often don’t pay as much, who seek the same respect at work as anyone. It’s where it’s sometimes been awful with Parker. I’ve been at just about all his media sessions, however short many are. Players don’t have to speak with media, in my view, even if it is a requirement in their NBA contracts. The issue with Parker is the way he’s shown a lack of respect for the reporters with his sharp, often one word answers and, as you note, disconcerting stares. No one asking fair, straight forward and basically inoffensive questions, which is their job and which the NBA encourages, deserves to be treated that way. Frankly, I’ve been surprised because I had no idea given he always said he was a community minded type person. Actually, I think the Bulls must have spoken with him because lately he has loosened up some, though he still holds the title of Bulls player you’d least like to spend a minute with. But you are right in that it’s a premature talent evaluation. He basically told us he’s not likely to contribute much on defense, so I’ll credit him, at least, for honesty as many NBA players say they will and don’t. Parker has some tremendous scoring abilities and talents, and he’s still less than a year removed from his second ACL return. So even as much as he doesn’t want to hear about having had surgeries, I think he has space to grow and get better. He showed a lot of that against the Suns earlier this week with nearly a triple double and some really impressive play that left us as speechless as he often is. OK, that’s laying it on too much, I admit. But I would love to see him smile some day. You need talent to do that. Parker has it. Though when Markkanen and Portis return, who knows. Parker doesn’t seem malicious, but I just wish he reciprocated to the polite treatment he’s universally received from the Chicago media. Maybe he’s been asking Tyrus Thomas for advice.

The Bulls should go after Otto Porter. After all, he's a small forward (and the Bulls desperately need them in order to win). Parker's listed as a small forward, but we know he’s a power forward for now.

Kieron Smith

Sam: Porter was my most sought to-trade-for last week until later in the week rumors were that the 76ers’ Markelle Fultz wanted to be traded. His agent denied it, which I assume means it’s true. And it certainly should be with the situation he’s in now with Jimmy Butler added to the team and probably pretty soon to begin calling him Karl-Anthony. We know the story of Fultz leaving again for treatment and the 76ers being surprised. It’s clear to most everyone now that he needs a chance elsewhere. Also, remember being a No. 1 overall pick is an arbitrary number. Would it be much different if he were a No. 7 overall like Emmanuel Mudiay or Randy Foye? Or No. 5 overall like Ricky Rubio or Devin Harris? Or No. 6 overall like Johnny Flynn or Dajuan Wagner? Or No. 3 like O.J. Mayo or No. 2 like Jay Williams? When you are drafting kids who have to play complicated guard positions, you never truly know. If Fultz were selected No. 4 would he be as big a mistake? He clearly needs a chance elsewhere because he does seem talented. But given that the 76ers used a No. 1 pick for him and blew plenty of other top picks on the likes of Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel, they’re not likely to settle for spare parts. At least for now. Though the hysteria last week was the Wizards had to do something! And right now! I think it may be the opposite. GM Ernie Grunfeld is cautious and veteran oriented. Rebuilds, as we mostly have seen, take years to bloom if they ever do again. Instead of trading off Porter—who makes about $27 million a year and is essentially a spot up three-point shooter whose salary would remove the Bulls from free agency possibilities—Wall or Beal, my guess is they add to them and take one more run. If they miss the playoffs, then I could see some changes next summer. Though with Wall’s $42 million annual salary for four years starting next season, it difficult to see who would take that on, especially for a player who cannot lead his team to the playoffs in the East, if that occurs. But you gotta love a dysfunctional team with Dwight Howard that doesn’t even mention his name.

How long before LeBron forces Magic to trade for John Wall. Well, as long as they make the playoffs. I would hate to see them win the lottery and get Zion Williamson.

Tom Plonowski

Sam: Now that’s an interesting conspiracy; the latter part, anyway. Say the situation is to get the Lakers a college star and….OK, OK, I know it’s not true. Which never stops the discussion. Another frequent name I hear is among the Duke freshmen. They’re at least for now expected to be among the top five draft picks, and though they’re still playing mostly basically exhibition games and they are teenagers, I think this draft doesn’t look as good as last year’s. No one ever has a good idea how these kids will be in the NBA, but I don’t see generational talent for now. Sure, some pretty good pros. But it makes me wonder why the Duke coach rarely seems to put the ball in the hands of the big dunker to make plays. College ball does matter even when they don’t stay long. It did tell you something about Andrew Wiggins when you’d see him score six or eight points in big games. Big time players perform in big time games at all levels. When they don’t, you can question who and what they’ll become. I know it’s tough to watch NBA coverage on ESPN or listen on NBA radio without three quarters of the discussion being about LeBron and the Lakers. Bor-ing! LeBron can be annoying in making demands and getting what he wants, but I’m voting with Magic’s patience for now and his summer free agency plan. After all, he got Lonzo Ball’s father to drop from sight. That has to be the undercard to being able to hold off LeBron and his advisors. I think this season is about LeBron going for one more MVP and just trying to get into the top four and then taking their personnel shot next summer. But we’ll know more after Dec. 15 when most contracts are available to be traded. Heck, with all the former LeBron teammates with nothing to do and about to be released or bought out, he may be able to assemble one of his former teams before the end of this season. Is James Jones coming back?

My attitude towards tanking is I think the same as yours...but man, have you seen this Zion kid play?  With Valentine's injury it’s gotta be tempting to shut Lauri down till February and go for broke.

Guy Danilowitz

Sam: No more tanking. I know it seems like it sometimes is what’s going on with the Bulls now with all the injuries and the hole they’ll inevitably dig. But with the first step smoothing out of the odds, the three teams with the poorest records have exactly the same odds of the top pick, and just 14 percent. Then it’s 12.5 and 10, 8.3 and 8.2. So you essentially have almost seven teams with similar odds of the top picks. And is 14 percent—one in seven—worth blowing off your whole season? Especially because this season was to begin to find out if the Bulls had a team with LaVine, Markkanen, Carter Jr. and Dunn. They still haven’t seen that. So you are going to postpone that for another year to take a one in seven shot at a top pick? Which means more than an 85 percent chance you won’t get it. What sort of a bettor would that make them? I know fans love the draft, the next thing, as it were, but really, enough with the draft picks. The Bulls are going to get another unless they make a trade, but they already have too many young players who have proven little given their lack of playoff experience and still are apprenticing on the roster. The Bulls seem set with Carter, LaVine and Markkanen. They’re still trying to find out about Dunn. Even if Dunn doesn’t prove out, they don’t need to continue teenage tryouts. The Bulls certainly hope he does. But it’s about time to begin surrounding them with veteran NBA talent. Assuming we ever do see them playing together.

Rookie of the year is one of two people right now. Doncic as you said or jaren jackson jr who you didn’t even mention. Jackson is probably the third best player on a team with an 11-5 record in the west. He has been really really good but memphis so no one remebers anyone there. Conley and gasol both playing like allstars again and neither is likely to make it. Doncic the best player on a 5-8 or 6-8 team.

Jake Henry

Sam: I agree with Doncic. It looks like he’s running away with Rookie of the Year. It was fun to see Carter Jr. go against No 1 pick Ayton Wednesday. Ayton is bigger with more athletic talent, but you could see Carter keep up with better defense and more hustle even as he had some bad luck with foul calls. He’ll be a good one for the Bulls, though not rookie of the year. I mentioned five guys when I wrote about rookies a week or so ago and had Jackson on the edge of that. Not because he’s not talented, and I’m pretty sure the Bulls had him as high or higher on their board than Carter Jr., though the Bulls seem fine with their selection. Jackson has a big edge over the others given who he plays with. Gasol and Conley get so much attention, he’s often not defended as much and often plays off the ball on the weak side. The other rookies have to be too involved and get more defensive attention because their teams aren’t nearly as good or with as many veterans. Which is also another thing about that tanking. A lot of those teams that were aren’t anymore and the race to the bottom isn’t going to be as repulsive. It will be more organic, like for a team trying but with a lot of injuries. Trae Young is inconsistent because of the pressure he sees and Marvin Bagley hasn’t gotten the playing time, but has been impressive in spots. Jackson, though, should rebound better for his size. It’s a terrific class, but for now Doncic stands above.

This Bulls team reminds me of the 2008 Bulls team a little bit. Neither team is a world beater, but they have their similarities: a core of promising young players, underperforming roster, and a coach on the fritz. What if we land the #1 pick again? From which angle will you crush my dreams?

Yuriy Fomin

Sam: The No. 1 pick, as I explained. It is an interesting comparison, though, as the first team John Paxson was building with his kinds of players. You can see why he’d be interested in Kris Dunn as a Kirk Hinrich defensive type with more athletic ability, Zach LaVine the scorer like Ben Gordon but bigger and more athletic and Lauri Markkanen the forward but a better shooter than Luol Deng. Ryan Arcidiacono isn’t quite Andres Nocioni. But you can see some similarities. Now just how do you find the Derrick Rose?

I noticed yahoo had a piece on teams with the most cap primed to be players in free agency. The list includes Lakers, Mavs, Brooklyn and a few others. My understanding was the Bulls had huge cap space post likely waving Jabari and getting rid of a few contracts.

Michael Burling

Sam: The Bulls should have a lot, if not the huge amount you expected. Part of the issue is this summer several could have more money, like the Mavericks, Clippers and Nets. The Lakers and Knicks have a lot, but the Bulls can be up there with them. Obviously, like you mentioned, if they keep Jabari Parker they probably don’t have all that much given they have to pay Bobby Portis to keep him. It will depend on whether he gets an offer and how quickly they have to move. With Omer Asik’s buyout and Portis’ cap hold, the Bulls could have around $40 million to $50 million, which would pay one full contract and part of another if they were to pass on Parker. The salary cap is expected to be around $110 million next summer. The presumption is they move on from free agents Holiday and Lopez, but nothing has been stated for now. There are other free agents they’ll have to make decisions on like Ryan Arcidiacono, and they are close to having to make a financial decision on Dunn. So this summer will be crucial and the Bulls can be a major player. Which is another reason why it’s so important to play the season out seriously and see what they have and where they fit.

Too bad about Valentine, I’m not a big fan but I am a human being and that’s got to be tough.

Tom Offa

Sam: Oh yeah, Valentine also. Another guy closing in on restricted free agency and we know we won’t see him again this season. Certainly his market has changed with all the injuries, but he says he’s been told this time it will be right. Grant Hill had serious ankle issues for years and came back and became an All-Star. Decisions, decisions. It’s a side factor of when you fill your roster with high draft picks. You also have to start making some decisions about who to keep, who to pay and who to move. You can’t pay them all.

I’ve got a friend who passionately argues that Lebron James is the greatest of all time. I don’t actually have a strong opinion about who’s the greatest. But I’m a contrarian and I grew up watching Jordan so he’ll always be my favorite horse in this particular race.  Well my friend, the Lebron apologist, is always locked and loaded for the MJ vs LbJ debate. So I decided to throw him a curveball last time we had the discussion. I argued that it’s neither Lebron nor Mike, but Wilt, who was in fact the greatest.  His otherworldly stats speak for themselves but neither of us ever saw him play so it’s kind of hard for us to fully compare Wilt and Lebron.  As an observer who’s seen both play, could you craft a convincing argument for why Wilt is greater than Lebron?

Daniel Slesnick

Sam: Here goes, though I still go with Jordan, also. Wilt is unquestionably the greatest scorer the game ever has seen; averaging 50 in a season, 100 points in a game, the most games above 60, 70, 80. And this notion that he was playing against basketball midgets is erroneous. He played against most of the greatest centers in NBA history, Russell, Thurmond, Unseld, Reed,  Kareem, Bellamy, all Hall of Famers. He is criticized for winning titles just twice, but he played against the greatest dynasty ever in the 60s Celtics and beat them face up when they were in their prime when he was with the 76ers. And with a team with half as many future Hall of Famers as the Celtics. When he finally got away from the dominant Celtics dynasty and went to the Lakers, he was in the Finals four of five seasons consecutively. Wilt played in an era when virtual assault was legal and he was the target in every game. They changed the rules of the game multiple times to limit his dominance, from widening the lane to changing goal tending rules. Wilt was so good they talked about eliminating dunking at one time, and the game was so easy at times that Wilt became bored and often shot a fadeaway bank shot to amuse himself. And still won the scoring title. Plus as he wrote in his infamous autobiography, he certainly didn’t get a lot of sleep. At one time or another, he led the league in every major statistical category, including scoring, rebounding and assists and was often all-NBA and all-defense first team. His Lakers team was among those who have held the record in their time for most wins in history. Wilt led two of the top five all-time teams with the best records ever. Wilt won championships just with those teams, showing what he had to do to win given the competition in his era. No team LeBron played on ever ranked in the top 10 of those teams with the greatest records. I guess my question might be in what way would LeBron be better than Wilt at almost anything but free throw shooting? And Wilt may have made more in the last minute of games.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/news/ask-sam-mailbag-112318

[nintendroid]

Nintendroid’s Lazy Boy No-Chew Reviews

Doctor Who: Return To Earth (Wii)

2010

I can’t come up for a witty tagline for this one. Doctor Who: Return To Earth is a bad, bad game.

 My wife has been a fan of Doctor Who for several years, while I, myself am fairly new to the series. The 40-year continuity intimidated me because there was just so much to learn and catch up on. My wife suggested that I start with the 9th doctor and go forward, so I did.  At the time I had started this game, I was in the middle of actor David Tennant’s run as the 10th doctor.

I can see why the series has the following it does. Science-fiction, humor, drama, it’s a great show. When I got to the 10th doctor’s run, I kept thinking that this series had great potential for video games. Surprisingly, Doctor Who doesn’t have a lot of games. I guess developers just can’t find their footing with it.

I had seen that there was a Doctor Who game for the Wii released in Europe. Being a Wii fanatic, I had to get this game.

The price was ridiculous, and overseas shipping made it worse. It wasn’t “how am I gonna pay my car insurance this month?” bad, but it was “I don’t have enough for the combo at Burger King” bad.

So I get the game, put it in my Wii with no time to spare and oh boy…

I’ve never been one to complain about graphics, but this game is outright ugly. I would go as far as saying they’re Nintendo 64 games that look so much better. The Wii was never touted as a graphical powerhouse, but they’re tons of great looking games on the system. This is just low effort.

With that said, I can give graphics a pass if the gameplay is at least decent. Starting out, Return to Earth is actually ok. It’s nothing groundbreaking but I can say I was enjoying myself. The gameplay is a mix of stealth, puzzle-solving and platforming with the latter being what eventually drives this proverbial Volkswagen off a cliff into a dumpster fire.

The story is penned by veteran  “Who” writer Oli Smith. The Doctor and Amy Pond arrive on an abandoned star ship headed to earth after a bout of solar storms. The Time Axis is on board the ship and Daleks and Cybermen are there to take it so your job is to make sure they don’t. I honestly had to look it up because I couldn’t hardly remember the plot. Just put it this way, it was an excuse to cram Daleks and Cybermen together in a video game.

You switch between controlling the Doctor and Amy, spending your time trying to get from point A to B without enemies spotting you. Both characters have no way of defending themselves, aside from traps you can trigger throughout the levels that help dispose of some of the enemies. Stealth is key, and you find yourself crouching to avoid enemies a lot. I didn’t mind this and actually enjoyed dodging enemies this way. It never got too frustrating and even if you were caught, more times than not, you could outrun them.

 Opening doors, triggering traps and walkways and just about everything else needed to advance revolves around finding these different colored crystals that allow you to shoot at the coordinated targets. For example, there’s a door that doesn’t open and around it is a moving red target. To open that door, you need to find a red crystal to shoot at that target. The more crystals you have, the more chances you have. You can store up to 6 at a time.

These crystals are guarded by these little smart-mouthed robots that stick up out of the ground. They’re harmless, but if you get in their line of sight, they go into the ground and take the crystal with them. When this happens, you have to walk away, allow them to pop back up and try again. This wasn’t a major issue, but it was a minor annoyance at times.

Once you got your crystals, you’re ready to shoot at these targets. To do so, you point your Wiimote at the screen, press A to aim and shoot at it using the B button. The shot has to take time to charge, so you have to time them just right. It starts out simple but some of the targets get frustrating as you go on. In the later chapters of the game, this gets to be a nightmare. If you have a difficult target, you’ll sometimes waste all your shots and have to go and refill on crystals. Some areas are full of bad platforming segments and unavoidable enemies so you’re gonna die a lot until you get lucky enough to accomplish your task.

During the “shooting” segments, aiming and firing isn’t that bad and for the most part fairly accurate. The only times I had trouble nailing a target was when the target was far off and had a crazy-erratic floating pattern. During the segments where you’re shooting projectiles in space however, hoo-boy.

 They’re few times where you have to man the ships laser-guns to either shoot projectiles coming to damage the ship, or to pull something from space to the ship. The aiming is so broken in these segments, and I only pulled them off by sheer luck. Luckily these aren’t common segments, but I dreaded any time they appeared.

Sometimes you had to open these panels to complete a circuit board mini-game. To screw off the covering you had to twist your Wiimote like a screwdriver to remove the screws. That’s the fun part, the circuit mini-game is a pain. They start out ok, then after the 9th chapter, they become a chore. The game calls it a circuit but you’re basically guiding a marble through a maze and if that marble takes enough damage, it’s back to the main beginning of the maze. These segments are mandatory to reach certain areas of the game, so you have no choice but to tough them out,.

What makes them tough is later on, there’s a “bad marble” that chases you until you complete the circuit. If that bad marble reaches yours, it’s instant death and you’re back at the beginning. Within the mazes you’re trying to guide through, they’re traps that can drain its energy if you get caught. So you’re hurrying to avoid the bad circuit chasing you, all the while avoiding touching certain walls, fixing mechanisms that open energy-sucking laser doors and traps to get to the end. If you’re circuit-marble loses it’s energy, then it’s back to the beginning of the maze. This game sucks.

 Now let’s talk about the game’s worst feature. It’s awful, awful, awful platforming. For one, none of the characters can jump, so moving from platform to platform involves simply walking over to the next one, when the platforms align briefly. Doesn’t sound bad, but both the Doctor and Amy are so incredibly slow that by the time you get your butt in gear to walk to the other platform, it’s already moving and you’re going to fall right into whatever bottomless pit is waiting below.

 If the platforming isn’t enough alone, you have the camera to wrestle with as well! The camera is worse than any N64 platformer ever dreamed of being. The camera is stationary and you can’t get it at an angle to see how to cross a certain platforms. There was a part where I was having to cross platforms above a green sewage pit and since I couldn’t move the camera to get on the right platform, I found a way to get to the other side without having to reach the game’s intended platform. I reach the door and it breaks the friggin’ game. So even though I reached the other room, my view was still stuck at the sewage area, because I didn’t get on the intended platform to get there, because the camera wouldn’t let me get a viewpoint of what I needed to do to get to the intended platform! ARGH!

I can’t fathom that Nintendo paid BBC 10 MILLION POUNDS for this game. Nintendo got ripped off big time, and they should’ve sued the ever-loving piss out of BBC for giving them such an half-brained creation.

The sad thing is, there is promise here! The first 5 or so chapters are enjoyable. I can say there were times that I had fun, but the artificial difficulty makes this mess unplayable. If you insist on playing this garbage, stop after the 5th chapter or you’ll regret it. I can’t even recommend this to hardcore Who fans. If you have to play a Doctor Who game, pick up the point-and-click adventure games for PC.

 My Grade: F

[Watch a full play through by Pikawil64]

[Nintendroid on Facebook]

[jrsechelon]

Mid-Season Review

Power Rankings

1. The Busy Killers (5-2-0) — [Remains 1st]

2. The Canadian Cripplers (5-2-0) — [Remains 2nd]

3. Evolution (5-2-0) ↑ [Up 1 Spot]

4. Hyrule Empire (5-2-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot]

5. Rainelo Hawks (4-3-0) ↑ [Up 3 Spots]

6. Black Hole Son (4-3-0) — [Remains 6th]

7. Buds Bums (4-3-0) ↑ [Up 3 Spots]

8. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints (4-3-0) ↑ [Up 4 Spots]

9. VanillaGorillas (4-3-0) ↓ [Down 4 Spots]

10. Straight Edge Society (3-4-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot]

11. PURPLEHAZE (3-4-0) ↑ [Up 2 Spots]

12. Ultimate Savages (2-5-0) ↑ [Up 4 Spots]

13. BroncosTillDeath (3-4-0) ↓ [Down 6 Spots]

14. Yuba City Sultans (2-5-0) ↓ [Down 3 Spots]

15. Thunderbuddy4Life (2-5-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot]

16. Balls Deep (1-6-0) ↓ [Down 1 Spot]

Mid-Season Review

Black Hole Son had a strong opening to the 2020 Season. In what has been dubbed the Covid-19 Season, the Elite Fantasy League has weathered the storm during these trying times. Before the Regular Season began, many didn't even know whether or not we'd have a football season. Week 1 went off with a bang and, all things seemed like a-go! In week 2, many big names went down including, Christian McCaffery, Saquan Barkley, and several notable offensive and defensive linemen. The injuries have hindered many teams on top of the fear of Covid-19 cases. Several teams, such as Evolution, The Canadian Cripplers, and Balls Deep, have been affected by Covid-19 cases. Many teams have had to deal with adversity in this season - the defending Super Bowl Champions, Black Hole Son, lost Dak Prescott, who was having a career year. The Canadian Cripplers had to find a new location to play this season due to Canada not allowing teams from the United States to travel across the border. The Canadian (Tampa Bay) Cripplers are having their best year since moving to Canada. Perhaps the warm weather feels good on Brady's old bones. Tom Brady is lighting it up week-in and week-out. Hyrule Empire, led by Russell Wilson, is finally putting together a team that has what it takes to contend. We've waited for a while for this team to put things together. Finally, in a crazy 2020 year, it's happening. Wilson is on pace for 57 touchdowns come seasons end. The Busy Killers have been the most complete team thus far, though they stumbled last weekend against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints they remain in the top spot of the Power Rankings. With mid-season here, we're going to look back at the best and worst moments of the EFL season thus far.

Black Hole Son Opens Up As Defending Super Bowl Champions In Las Vegas With Remarkable Fashion

With the triumvirate of Josh Jacobs, Adam Thielen, and a defense led by Cameron Jordan, Black Hole Son dismantled PURPLEHAZE in a Week 1 opening game where the defending Super Bowl Champions unveiled their banner in an empty stadium. Black Hole Son showed all watching Week 1 that they meant business and weren't a fluke team in 2019. Fast-Foward to Week 8, at 4-3-0 Black Hole Son, has lost Dak Prescott who we now know was the reason they dismantled PURPLEHAZE in Week 1. Without Dak, Black Hole Son has lost 3 straight. At 1-1-0 in the division and four more divisional games for the defending Champions, Black Hole Son must find a way to get back on the winning side of things otherwise - that Week 1 celebration will be one of the only brighter moments in 2020.

Saquan and McCaffery Go Down

Week 2 brought many injuries to many teams. The two notable injuries were Barkley and McCaffery. BroncosTillDeath lost Saquan for the season. While Running Back, Christian McCaffery was lost by Ultimate Savages for several weeks. Both players were cogs in the machine, they were honestly the oil that kept the machine churning. With neither player on the field, both teams have been battling against the 8-ball. BroncosTillDeath and Ultimate Savages are in the same division and trying to find their identities at the mid-season mark. With these two players gone, it has been a season of trying to find sparks in other areas in the offense. Luckily for Ultimate Savages, CMC may be returning this week in a pivotal division game against Rainelo Hawks. BroncosTillDeath has a gap, a void where Barkley should be. Drake had become the workhorse and now injured for several weeks, this team is once again looking for answers at the running back position. We believed Montgomery was going to be a steal in an early-season trade, unfortunately, it hasn't worked out. With a date against The Busy Killers, BroncosTillDeath will need to pull out all the stops to defeat the top-ranked team and the number 1 seed in the league. Luckily for both teams, they are still in the race for the division if they can stream wins together come to the rest of the remaining 7 games.

Wilson, Rodgers, And Brady Lighting It Up!

Russell Wilson, Rodgers, and Tom Brady has shown us that to be excellent you need to continue to perfect your craft. In this 2020 Season, there are three quarterbacks, who have risen above the rest. Hyrule Empire has finally come into their own with the consistency and constant hours of work and commitment with Wilson as their quarterback, Aaron Rodgers has silenced the critics who were saying he's done, while Tom Brady has shown that he isn't phased by the heat or the process of learning a new system. These three quarterbacks leading these three teams have pushed the envelope on what it means to be an elite quarterback. All three teams are sitting at 5-2-0 and in a BIG game in Week 8 we'll see Brady face off against Wilson in what is the highest of high stakes between both teams. Both Hyrule Empire and The Canadian Cripplers have battled it out before with not much on the line, this year though, boy, do they have a lot hanging in this game. A top seed, a high Power Ranking, and a chance to push their club to a 6-2-0 record. While Hyrule Empire and The Canadian Cripplers battle it out on Sunday Evolution led by Aaron Rodgers will be playing their third divisional match-up against Yuba City Sultans. At 0-2-0 in the division Evolution needs this win in order to have a chance to continue pushing back for that South-East Title. We've got an exciting start to our second half of the season and all three of these teams will want to start Week 8 off right.

VanillaGorillas Winning With Rookies

Swift, Jeudy, Aiyuk, Lamb, Taylor, Tua (?) - We've bared witness to all of these rookies besides Tua, though some believe Tua will get the nod as soon as this weekend. VanillaGorillas took a gamble when they signed so many rookies but it has been paying off one game at a time. At 4-3-0 VanillaGorillas is in a battle for the Deep-North division. They have been impressing with how each week another rookie continues to step up in place of the rest of the team and pushes VanillaGorillas to another victory. This weekend we'll get a yearly rival, the battle of Chicago. VanillaGorillas playing cross-town rival Buds Bums. In what will be their first match this season out of two meetings, the winner will be sitting in sole possession of the first place in their respected division. It's an exciting battle of Chi-Town which has been lackluster over the course of this rivalry. Luckily for us, fans of the EFL, Week 8 have some very tasty match-ups including this one where we'll see Rookies face off against savvy veterans.

Thunderbuddy4Life And Yuba City Sultans Haven't Found That Winning Fromula

For the majority of the year we've been waiting for these two teams to begin winning, competing, and showcasing their capabilities to be contenders. Unfortunately what we've gotten are two teams that have seamlessly forgotten how to win. Interestingly both teams have one win against an above .500 team and their other wins were against a team Stradling around .500 and the other, well, Tunderbuddy4Life defeated these Sultans in Week 2. Five out of the remaining seven teams Yuba City Sultans play are above .500. While Thunderbuddy4Life plays six teams above .500 out of seven remaining games. These two teams can still turn in around but it'll be difficult. It's been a season to forget for both teams who usually contend. What can be done to change their luck? Your guess is as good as mine, neither coaching staff is bad, both teams have the players in place to win games, it's just been a tough schedule for both teams thus far and it doesn't look like it'll get any easier the rest of the way.

The Busy Killers Have Dominated Through 7 Weeks

Throughout the first half of the Season The Busy Killers have been able to win nail biters but also pull away in big leads. Falling only twice and still sitting above the rest is something to be acknowledged. They sit at 3-0-0 in the division, have a stranglehold over teams who are 5-2-0 respectively. The Busy Killers who have always been the middle of the road team have really been the true bright spot in the EFL this season. Consistently winning and doing it in a manner that is that of a Champion. The Busy Killers have 4 games against teams under .500 and only 3 against teams above .500 with two being within the division. They are performing at a high level and even with a loss last week it didn't phase them in the Power Rankings or the seeding were the Postseason to start today. This is the one team I'm confident enough to say they will be in the Postseason. In the next 7 weeks, I could see The Busy Killers winning 5 or 6 games. They should rebound this week against BroncosTillDeath.

Other Notes

Straight Edge Society has been playing a ton of edge of your seat games. They like to live dangerously and although they are only a game back from being in the mix for their division, at 0-4-0 in the division it'll be difficult for them to push back for a divisional title. They have hope though with the easiest remaining schedule the rest of the way.

Rainelo Hawks although haven't been flashy is once again the consistent team we have grown to know. They are again holding their own in their division. They have won when they had to and have been able to grab dubs with Kyler Murray who is becoming a threat on the ground as well as in the air. As Kyler Murray's arm continues to perfect and build Rainelo Hawks will continue to fly and swore toward a possible division title. Although they are in a tight race for their division, at the same time it feels like they are a mile apart from the rest of the pack. In a divisional game this weekend, they will need to continue putting their cleats on the throats of the rest of the teams in their division in order to stay on top. Although Murray has been the talk of the town, he'll be away attending to family matters in a pivotal cross town game in Seattle where they will play Ultimate Savages the team who has come into Washington trying to claim the state and city as their own. If we know these brash Hawks we know Goff will be ready to step in there for a big game where they will need him to be on point.

LilShupeScoresBIGPoints hasn't looked as strong as they usually are in past seasons but don't let that fool you. This team finally got back on the winning side of things in a big game last weekend over The Busy Killers. Just when you think this team is out of the mix they come back with a vengeance. Josh Allen needs to get back to his early-season form if they want to contend. When Allen was tossing the ball around like he was playing school ball, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints was one of the top-ranked teams. Though they've fallen in recent weeks they are in a tight division and will have all the chance to win that Deep-North before seasons end.

Balls Deep and PURPLEHAZE were both Playoff contenders last year and although Ball Deep has played tighter in the last few weeks they still haven't been able to garner any sort of consistency. PURPLEHAZE on the other hand has been able to stream together wins to the point they are tightly in the race for the Mountain-West division. Having a win over Rainelo Hawks can go a long way if they can continue getting those victories. I think last weekends game showed why Justin Herbert should be starting for this team.

As we venture into the next seven weeks of the season it'll be interesting to see how each division unfolds and who can continue to build on the last seven weeks. Once again we know that we won't have an undefeated team nor a winless team. So as we move forward I must say, let's hope the rest of the season goes as smooth as it can.

CLICK TO VOTE

[delinquentinsomniac]

Dear Holden,

Basically, for an English assignment I was asked to write a letter about The Catcher in the Rye to Holden from a person he encountered. I chose Carl Luce who I interpreted as a closeted gay man that Holden is completely okay with hanging out with, because he wants friends. My teacher said it was too gay, and not right for the time, so I am publishing it here for people to read. 

--------

June 1st, 1950

Dear Holden,

I am sitting at a desk with a pen in hand with the intent to write whatever comes to mind. I wish for no judgement, please give me that.

Today is a weird day, despite the day just beginning. It is currently 1:00 AM and I can not stop thinking of you. I graduated from Columbia a week ago, and it has all been very exciting. At my graduation I ran into that crazy kid from Whooton School who would make those really weird noises in the showers. Jack or Jake I think his name was, and he told him where you were. No, wait, his name was James. Anyway, I ran into him at my graduation. We did not talk for long, but he seemed a bit more tamed now. He ran into Sally, who ran into Jane, who ran into Phoebe, so he knew about you and he told me where you were, and now I cannot stop thinking about you. It is really upsetting because tomorrow I start my new job. I should be in bed, asleep and resting, but I cannot help thinking of you. You always did this. You would always do some annoying thing that would constantly make me think.  You would get under my skin, and I would sorta wanna kill you. 

Anyway my new job is a great job with a salary and benefits. I got this job from my best pal from Columbia, Robert Sweeny. Rob is what he prefers to be called. He is a true sweetheart. He has brown eyes that are deep like whiskey, brown hair with natural honey highlights, and tiny brown freckles that sporadically cover the bridge of his nose to his very high cheekbones. He has the softest hands of anyone I have ever met, despite playing baseball.

We met through baseball. He was the baseball star at our school, and could have gone to play for the MLB. Be the next Columbia Alum to play for the Major Leagues like Lou Gehrig (may he rest in peace). Rob is the best baseman I have ever seen, better than Jimmy Turner from Whooton. This one game he was injured and could not play. The team was suffering without him, and they were barely holding on. All the bases were loaded and he saw it as a beautiful opportunity. He begged his coach to put him in, and he hit a homerun enabling all the players on base to make it home. That night the team went out to celebrate, but we went out to a bar together. It was a very nice night. We had a lot of nights like that where we would get drinks, he would pay, and we would just talk.

Despite his remarkable abilities, he is not playing pro baseball, he is a pervert. I thought I was better at picking out the flits from the crowd, I guess I am not as good as I thought. Perhaps he turned into one over night. I spent my whole four years with him at Columbia. I never realized he was a flit until graduation when he told me. I had asked him why he was going to work an office job, rather than playing. He sat me down, and told me that he was gay and that he needed to live his life for himself. He wants to be a psychiatrist, and I think he will make a darn good one. He always helped me with my problems at school. I will not lie to you, I had a lot of problems. I typically had my dad to help, but he was not there and college is tough. There is a lot riding on your shoulders to be the greatest.  You will find out soon enough. Rob told me that, “it is important to recognize what is important to you. When you have done that, set that as your goal. Accomplish it one day at a time, hour by hour, minute by minute.”

If you ever need help coping in college, let me know. I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve that I learned from Rob. Rob is a cool guy, and it is very difficult for me to know that he is a perv. I should have know before. Four years of spending time with Rob and I was blind, or maybe I did not wish to see. He does like to dress a bit fancier than most people I know, talks a bit more posh, never had a girlfriend, and he has a pretty high voice. I have not spoken to him since he told me he was a pervert, I cannot associate myself with people like that. They are disgusting. I miss him though, maybe I should write him a letter.

Remember that babe I dated during your Whooton days, her name was Emily. I had found out a couple weeks after you left that I was not the only guy she was seeing. I broke it off immediately after that. A year ago, she wrote me a letter. She told me that she was sorry. She said she only cheated because I did not give her the attention she needed like I gave my dorm mates. She is now married to a WWII veteran, and probably has had that baby now. I am not mad at her anymore, for we were not right for each other. I am very glad that she is happy now.

I am not dating that chick from Shanghai. We had a beautiful relationship, and we could connect on so many levels sexually and mentally. In the end she wanted something that I could not offer, and so she got it from someone else. She left shortly after you did, and it hurt. I ran into her before graduation, and she is married now with two beautiful children. That lady from Shanghai never existed. I just wanted to get away from you, I am really sorry.  

I just read back the letter and I realize it has nothing to do with what I wish to say to you. I have been stalling and keeping myself from actually expressing my feelings. I am not writing this letter for you to know about my life, or Rob’s or Emily’s, or anyone else’s life. I am writing this letter to apologize to you. For someone who is smart, I sometimes do stupid things. I think the stupidest thing and the most regretful thing is you. Not because of who you as a person, but the way I acted towards you. You were so different and so captivating, I had to work really hard to not get captivated in you.

I remember the day you arrived to school just like it was yesterday. You walked out of your car with your suitcase in hand. Your brown hair was nicely comb and you wore a white button up with a black tie, tucked into your black pants. You had on this really nice jacket. All the things you ever owned were very nice, never the cheap stuff. When I first talked to you, I look into your eyes. They were dead, I knew you did not want to be here. I just assumed you were scared, leaving home is a scary thing. Then I began to talk to you, and every conversation we had it became clearer and clearer that there was a darkness inside of you. I did not know what to do, I did not know how to help. I could not help you. You were annoying, and you made me think differently. Differently about everything in the world, and I could never have an intellectual conversation with you. If I did you would make me start thinking like you, and it was uncomfortable. So I avoided everything about you, especially the red lights, and I just talked to you and all the lads in the dorm about sex, lesbians and perverts. Most of the things were made up. You all looked up to me, and I could not not know about something, so I lied. I would hate myself after, and want you all to leave, you would always sit and ponder a little. Looking back I know you did not need conversations about sex, but conversations one and one about what was going in your mind. I did not do what I was supposed to do for you. I am sorry that I did not help you. I wish I could have made you stay at Whooton School, and maybe I could have helped you. You were right to call me a fat-assed phony, for I was one. I was the biggest phony at the school.

When you called me that winter, I was shocked. I did not think you remembered who I was, nonetheless wanted to spend time with me. I almost said no, but I heard a want in your voice I could not say no to. I was late to the a Wicker Bar because I had to mentally prepare myself for you. I was hoping you grew up, and realize a bit more. You did not, you were the same old Holden Caulfield, but worse. I could not do it, I could not have a real conversation with you. I begged you to be quiet, and stop asking all those questions.

I need to apologize for everything that happened that night. I am sorry for yelling at you about Emily, I did not want to talk about her because she hurt me really bad. I am sorry for not wanting to listen about your good values, about how to treat women. I am sorry about getting mad at you for wanting to talk about that lady from Shanghai, she never existed so it was a bad move. I am sorry for never opening up to you. I was worried about you. I told you two time to get a psychoanalyst test. Not for the benefit of my father, but because I wanted you to get better. I pretended not to care about whether or not you did it, but I cared deeply for you Holden. I am sorry for leaving early, I had nowhere to be. I am sorry I did not get you out of the bar and I did not get you home. I am sorry I did not ask you about how you were feeling. James told me that you lost a brother, and his name was Allie. Being the son of a psychoanalyst it all made sense. Why you act the way you do. I wish I could have been that outlet to help you express yourself in a positive way. I am sorry for being late to save you.

Sincerely yours forever,

Carl Luce

[tipsoctopus]

Everton eyeing exciting manager swoop, but he isn't the right man to succeed Silva - opinion

When the news broke this week that Carlo Ancelotti had been sacked by Napoli, despite guiding them to the Champions League knockout stages the very same evening, it took less than a nanosecond before numerous sites and social media were linking the veteran Italian coach with the vacancies at Arsenal and Everton.

This was a wholly expected development, of course, given Ancelotti’s track record that has seen him compile a managerial C.V. that only the very elite can equal. In nearly a quarter of a century in the dug-out he has won league titles across four different countries, a feat that is unique and deserving of significant acclaim. He is one of only three managers to win the Champions League a trio of times. He is a perpetual collector of high achievements and even in his final game the 60-year-old added another to the list with Napoli’s progress meaning he is only the second coach to steer six different sides through the Champions League group stages.

Add a cabinet stuffed with other honours into the mix along with a compendium of well-organised, marvellous football teams – not to mention his fluency in English and proven Premier League credentials – and its little wonder that the Gunners and Toffees are reportedly keen to secure his prestigious services. Indeed, they would be crazy to at least not place him under serious consideration.

That, however, is not to say that he is the ideal man for either club. Perhaps he is not even the right man and at Everton in particular that is absolutely the case.

It is always something of a disservice to typecast any manager’s careers into neat tropes and that is especially true of the cosmopolitan and erudite Ancelotti. Even so, when seeking consistent traits that run throughout his long time as a coach two come strongly to the fore, as relevant in Milan as they are in Madrid; from Parma to Paris.

Firstly, the former midfielder manages as he used to play – with a minimum of fuss and pragmatism always trumping unnecessary dramatics. This lends itself to a calm working environment in which his players thrive and more so has led to Ancelotti often being credited – correctly – as one of the best man-managers around. His is a friendly approach and in motivational terms that usually means all carrot and very little stick. We will return to this shortly.

The second constant in Ancelotti’s distinguished employment is that typically he has inherited fantastic sides a touch under the weather. Early into his vocation he took on the reins at Parma, the club where it all began for him as a player in the mid-seventies and here – twenty years later – the Emilians were enjoying a golden era that had them challenging for the Scudetto on an annual basis. It was a high point still fondly recalled in Romagna, a time of Buffon and Cannavaro, Zola and Chiesa. Ancelotti took charge of a sumptuously talented side that had finished a disappointing fifth the previous campaign and in his first season guided them to second.

Juventus came next, with Zidane, Davids and all and then the gloriously gilded Milan set-up of the 2000s where the names roll easily off the tongue. Maldini. Nesta. Pirlo. Kaka. Shevchenko.

At Chelsea the savviest of operators inherited a successful squad jaded by Jose Mourinho’s demands and put his arm around each of them before repeating the trick at Real Madrid. In between these largely triumphant stints there were two years at PSG where he was heavily bankrolled to the tune of bringing in Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Thiago Motta and Thiago Silva to an average league in his first full window.

Later there was a season at Bayern Munich – succeeding Pep Guardiola – and latterly came Napoli and a pattern emerges from all of this which is undeniable.

For while not wishing to diminish the undoubted nous of Carlo Ancelotti – one such example is that it was he who first reimagined Andreas Pirlo as a deep-lying creator – by and large he is a top-end restorer, not a rebuilder. He takes on great teams and makes them great again.

Everton are currently a very long way from being deemed great. Conversely they are a squad in dire need of remodelling and this despite some copious spending in recent years. They are ill-balanced and sorely lacking in genuine quality, as their present league standing starkly illustrates.

If that places doubt on Ancelotti’s suitability we return to his practice of getting the players on-side and content.

Within the fierce confines of Goodison Park it is not a softly-softly approach that is required, as was proven so bombastically last week as Duncan Ferguson roared passionately from the touchlines, demanding unremitting commitment from his players as they out-played Chelsea in a highly entertaining 3-1 win.

An arm around the shoulder doesn’t cut it at Goodison whereas a kick up the backside does and though Evertonains might take umbrage with the following assessment, they have typically shone brightest under sergeant major types such as David Moyes. Ancelotti, though, doesn’t do intensity.

Furthermore, as difficult as it may be for the club’s hierarchy to admit, they are currently a full pay-grade below what Ancelotti does so well. He is a man for the finishing touches.

Everton, you feel, must start all over again.

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