#thoughts and prayers appreciated lol

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

y’all i s2g i have way more meta for you and i think some of you may even like it lol but UNFORTUNATELY i’m an idiot who decided they wanted a PhD lmfao so. yeah grad school apps are draining the life from me 😭

[buttered-milky]

https://youtu.be/XqXZ0tJppok?si=kF5httv3agxyOzqe

Messmer can actually turns into a snake it's his original form, and he looks soo abused and neglected maybe because of the seal?

Eeeee okay so. The summon he uses a: appears to have more blood and/or burn wounds on it. and b: otherwise has most of its scales and doesn’t have the transparency effect I thought it had like the winged serpents!! Also there’s a bunch of eyeballs all over the place but we’ll get to those later.

Burn wounds are pretty straightforward and also interesting since they imply either the serpent fucked around and found out (Messmer burned it) or the serpent fucked around and found out (burned itself like an idiot, not surprising in the slightest for snakes since they miss prey strikes all the time and are, in my humble snake owner opinion, some of the dumbest creatures you’ll ever meet. Curious yes. But also. Idiots)

The snake Messmer turns into has much deeper wounds and scarring on it than just the summon of the abyssal serpent. This snake also appears to have a blind right eye (note for any reptile keepers who care: not the temporary blindness that comes with shedding). Its body is very misshapen and there are scales trying to protrude along the spine, and in several places where there don’t appear to be any wounds the scales are just…missing. This is as expected not good for snakes! They need those scales! I am honestly not quite sure how to interpret the overlapping layers of scales in some places. Like sometimes it looks like a shedding issue but also it seems like it’s the attempts of two souls trying to occupy one body? Also missing shed transparency effect! Idk what the hell was going on in my brain or if it was just lighting but I was sooooo fucking sure of the shed buildup. I was also really tired though and don’t care. The visual read was still fun. It can be a headcanon to me <3

So on those thoughts of it being two souls trying to occupy one body. What strikes me about this design is that some of the wounds look like bite scarring you’d see from live prey fighting your snake back. Again, this is a thing entirely avoidable with good husbandry (don’t live feed unless absolutely necessary). The scales to me still imply shedding has gone very wrong at some point. You’d expect to see shedding heal and scar over these wounds, but they’re all fresh. Very symbolic. You can’t heal violence by just pretending it doesn’t exist.

Ideally when a snake is wounded, you do routine care to help them with sheds and make sure the wound is clean. The scales will grow back and the wound will scar, but it will take several sheds and consistent work! You cannot, as Marika tried to do, just put a bandaid on it. You also can’t just lock a snake in a cage it will hurt itself trying to get out of (ie messmer himself) and expect that to go even remotely well.

Some of this feels like visual symbolism of self-hatred. Like I said, the base serpent looks like it’s gotten in a fight. With its host. Some of it also feels like visible neglect (ie the wounds not being healed, missing scales)

I’m gonna discuss the eyeballs bc I fuck w them immensely. First of all congrats Messmer on having an Eldritch Horror in ur body. Second of all, all these eyes appear to have lids. Actual snakes don’t. They have hard eye caps instead and cannot blink. Some of the eyes seem like they might not be able to blink, but the scales around them are still more closed than you’d expect? I fuck with it. Fits with Messmer’s blindness motif which maybe I’ll make a post on eventually. But in regards to the base serpent specifically, of course violence can afford to close its eyes and be blind to who it chooses to hurt. Violence is also something that, when committed, always seems to haunt you. Its gaze will always be there.

It’s interesting that Marika replaced Messmer’s eye to seal the serpent off, and so maybe it grew more eyes? That could be why the scales around them aren’t correct—they’re trying to protrude from the body. This occurs in both the summon and the physical snake form Messmer has. Repression of identity = Eldritch horrors? Sure I’ll take that fromsoft.

Final thing on the eyes. They’re red, not green. The winged serpents have green eyes, Elden Ring’s color of endurance. Super fitting! The abyssal serpent’s eyes are all red, the color of rot and death in this game. Red to me also feels primordial given its use in lightning by the dragons, but I digress. It’s pretty obvious why a base serpent would have base powers. This thing is old as fuck.

Okay. I’m sure you all thought the post was done but one last note on snake biology! So, snakes’ tongues retract into their mouth. When a snake opens their mouth you won’t see a forked tongue just curled up, hanging out. It’s in a little pocket for safe keeping :)

Neither of the base serpent’s forms appear to have the anatomy for this, since there are eyeballs replacing this anatomy. This is problematic for Messmer in a snake form specifically since he’s blind, and real snakes compensate for shitty vision by having an incredibly strong sense of smell. Messmer’s snake form also doesn’t have the heat pits that the abyssal serpent has. Heat pits are another part of snake anatomy, usually located below the nostrils, and are what they use to “see” heat and locate prey. In pythons (like the winged serpents) you’ll see multiple heat pits all in a row above the lip as opposed to the single very deep pit behind and below the nostrils in vipers. This single pit is what the base serpent (summon) has. Neither Messmer’s base serpent form nor his winged serpents have heat pits which is…interesting. It could be a modeling error but I don’t think so given base serpent has very clear heat pits.

My point is, Messmer is somehow even more blind than you’d expect from a snake. Maybe this makes sense given Messmer carries an internal fire, which would likely fuck with infrared? Still interesting nonetheless.

In summary: The base serpent alone (summon) seems overall in better shape than its other form (transformation). I think this is pretty straightforward symbolism—as a being on its own the serpent would probably be fine. It’s just that it uses Messmer as a host and this causes issues. Fuck around and find out I guess, base serpent.

And holy shit Messmer Cannot fucking see. Good luck with the seeing eye snakes babe because snakes notoriously have shit vision !

(Also just an aside both of the base serpent forms kind of have narrower faces than you’d see on a real snake? Like they’re more eel like to me. Anyways.)

[chestnutroan]

Watch me again!

Neanderthal backflip

[feliz-navidad]

vent post in tags

[lavenderleahy]

I finished my day from hell. Proof that I DID put my phone down and focused for a good chunk of the day and was not just on tumblr lol.

[aceofstars16]

I’m kind of online again? Ish?

And uh, I feel like I want to recap this month cause maybe that’ll help me feel better about it or something…

I was hoping it would be a refreshing, relaxing, and clarifying break. It wasn’t. At all. I’m more exhausted than before and my depression has been probably the worst it has ever been. (Maybe I had a breakthrough last night but honestly I am still wary and unsure and just tired so I don’t know for sure yet)

I started physical therapy and I am…still not sure if it’s helping? I’ve tried dry needling a few times, but I can’t say I notice any drastic difference yet. (Though my neck went out really bad one day a few weeks ago so that might be impeding seeing any improvement) But hey, I tried Excedrin and it actually seems to help my migraines…I just hope I won’t have to keep taking them as often as I have been 🥴

Our cats also got fleas like…a month ago…and we are still dealing with them…maybe it’s a little better now but it’s still frustrating to see them…and get bit by them…they are also probably one of the reasons I’m so tired 😒 (and I haven’t drawn much cause I’m tired and the fleas are in my drawing room and last time I tried drawing on the couch in there I got bit 🔪)

A few good things: I got to do two escape rooms with family, and we beat them with a lot of time to spare and it was fun. This past week I got to see my brother and wife with the rest of the family and we all had a fun (though sometimes tiring) time. I also had some ideas for my books (slightly inspired by being salty about a book series I tried to read, and also excited for @dragonanne ‘s book release 🎉) so I might actually have a little more of a plot for the trilogy instead of just vague ideas lol. Oh and I read a lot of books and changed my book reading goal to 50 this year cause I’m only eight books away from that already 😂

So yeah…I’m kind of discouraged and disappointed about this past month…🫠

[phaedraismyusername]

Praying to the phone gods this cold snap doesn't kill my phone 🙏🙏🙏

[ingwion]

haters will never comprehend the degree of earth-shattering world-ending pain us chronic illness babes have to be in for us to express it in any way shape or form

[gelato444]

not even a joke tho it’s funny how when anything related to health happens to you or your family it just becomes a survive and figure it out later type of vibe

[man-made-misery]

Tw for illness/death

[reginaofdoctorwho]

don't think i mentioned it on here yet but my hip dislocated last week :/

first time it actually dislocated but there's been times before that it felt like it was going to. anyway trying to manage my health issues is like seeing a circle in the triangle factory

[choface]

ok enough procrastinating, I’m gonna go finish reading you’re divine

[hoshinasblade]

second best |3| hoshina soshiro

PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART 3

pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 2k trigger warnings: a bit suggestive at the end author's note: i promised a part three so here it is, hope you guys like it! likes, replies, and reblogs are welcome but im begging you not to copy or steal my works. feel free to sign up for my taglist (which i swear im gonna use on the next fic lol), and i appreciate when people send me asks so let me know your thoughts (or send me hoshina pics, that'd be great too). my masterlist is here! also i gotta let you know that i might put the next fic on hold because i am so tempted to start a short nsfw collection instead - just one-shots so it won't be a lot of commitments. who knows cause i might write angst and nsfw at the same time 😉

soshiro's hands were trembling. you noticed because it has not happened in a while - you cannot even recall the last time you've seen the man nervous, much less shaking. you were going to himeji that morning; hoshina had snatched your backpack from you - "when i said i would make it up to ya, i mean in every way i can," he said, sounding gentle and sincere that your only choice was to let him carry your belongings and blush as he also intertwined his fingers with yours while walking.

there is this story you have been hearing for a while - the red string theory, it is called. according to it, people who are destined to be together will always find each other despite everything and anything. when you were a kid, instead of thinking it romantic, you rather thought it is frightening - fate is a difficult enemy to go against: if it is meant to be, then it will be eventually. when you grew up, you held that belief as a prayer - it means that whoever is the one chosen for you may get lost on their way to you, but they will always - always - arrive.

you glanced at hoshina soshiro and you knew you were right to believe.

it was roughly a four-hour journey from tachikawa to himeji by train, and during the entire ride, even when he fell asleep for a short while, your boyfriend did not let go of your hand. you complained about your palms being sweaty as a joke, and he only loosened his hold. you understood - he is making it up to you, but he is also making up for all the wasted time.  

"we're almost there," you told him when he startled from his nap. his bangs were slightly messy, and he bumped his head to your shoulders. "comfy," he hummed. you giggled.

you are still trying to navigate through dating a high-ranking officer of an anti-kaiju defense force unit. relationships aren't strictly forbidden but still frowned upon, which was a little bit of an issue between you and soshiro when you had a proper and long-overdue conversation about what you guys were. confessing is one thing, but when being friends is all you've known your whole life, you know adjustments are supposed to be made here and there.

 which brings you and him back to your hometown.

he didn't exactly disagree with you, but you are aware he had his reservations about the idea of visiting himeji. "oh i'm pretty sure soichiro-kun would be surprised," you said when you were still planning the trip. "yes, we should kiss in front of him and give him a heart attack," soshiro suggested, and you weren't hundred-percent sure he was just joking. maybe you didn't want him to be.

when the streets started to look familiar, soshiro noted the sudden bounce in your pace. you and he have walked in the same alley years ago - he would wait for you after class and would even make up some ridiculous excuse so you could go home together. "i used to pretend to be tired way back just so i could convince you to slow down. i wanted to spend so much time with you," you reminisced.

"i should have known ya were head-over-heels for me," he teased.

"they miss ya, soshiro-kun. ya don't have anything to worry about." the change in topic wiped the smirk off his face. he was suddenly serious, sad even. there was a part of you that regretted saying the words, but he had to hear it - you only wanted to reassure him after all.

"just that i haven't been here for a long while", he said, squeezing your hand. "i don't know if they think this place is still my home."

"ya need to have faith in the people you care about, soshiro-kun. ya need to trust that they care about ya too," you solemnly advised. "i know that doesn't make any sense sometimes, but that's how i do it."

"have i told ya i love you so much?" he responded, to which you smiled.

"only a thousand times," you joked once more.

the hoshina estate is a spacious one - you have to pass through an automated black gate that directs you to the main house, the cobblestone path lined with cherry blossom trees, their delicate petals swirling when the wind blows gently; the grandeur of the home soshiro grew up in is undeniable with its traditional japanese architecture. a man with striking features and an aura of authority was waiting at the entrance, waiting for his son.

“father,” soshiro greeted the man, bowing deeply.

“an embarrassment that your friend will be the one to bring you home when you could have done it a long time ago,” soshiro’s father scolded him. his stare at soshiro was that of disappointment, which quickly disappeared when he looked at you. “ah, my dear, come on in, hurry, come on in,” he turned and said to you, inviting you in. the hoshina patriarch had always been fond of you - soshiro’s parents had wanted a daughter and they found one in you.

soshiro rolled his eyes. “my father’s favorite child is my girlfriend, great,” he muttered.

the maids made you a great dinner, cooking soshiro’s favorite food per his father’s request. conversation was light, and it was apparent that the old hoshina wanted to catch up so badly on how his son was doing, inquiring in consecutive questions about soshiro’s rank in the unit, his experiences so far, and his long-term plans in staying with the force. soshiro’s replies are detailed, but you know he intentionally did not mention all the instances where he almost died fighting.

soshiro’s father regaled you both with stories of soshiro’s childhood antics - “do ya remember, my dear, when soshiro tripped and fell on his face after training with soichiro? we were so worried, but he only fell asleep,” he recited the memory as if it was just yesterday., his kansai accent thick on his words. the tension that had lingered in the air had dissipated as you finished your meal.

“i had the guest room prepared for ya so ya can rest for tonight,” soshiro’s father had said when his son cut him off.

“no, we can sleep together,” soshiro declared, and thinking it might have sounded improper, he spoke again. “beside each other, i mean. in my room. because we’re tired. from travelling all day," he attempted to clarify but failed.

“ah, may i look forward to a grandchild soon from ya two?” color drained from your face as you slowly closed your eyes. you fought off a laugh but failed.

“ya may, but we aren’t doing that here of all places,” soshiro argued just as his father had turned his back on the both of you, amused with himself. at least now you know where soshiro got his sense of humor.

the hot shower felt great against your tensed muscles, and if you weren’t that exhausted, you would have opted for a bath instead. soshiro wanted to speak to his father alone, so when he ushered you inside his childhood bedroom, he’d let you know that he would be gone while you were cleaning yourself up. you were relieved; you haven’t seen your own father since you were a teenager, and it would be a shame to see it happening to the person you care about the most, not if you can do something about it. and this is not to say that you wanted to fix soshiro’s life - you pointed this out to him once - but he’s had a terrible habit of holding back and assuming the worst, so you had decided that if you could help him out, you would push him to the right direction.

“didn’t ya pack clothes?” his eyes were on you immediately after he came in, finding you on the bed with your phone, wearing his shirt.

“i did, but yours look better,” you replied, holding your arms out and showing him how oversized it is on you - the sleeves are passed your elbows, the hem reaching the middle of your thighs.

“they look better on ya, i agree.” he sat on the mattress for a few moments before lying down, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. “ya all good?”

“i am,” you said to him. “especially because i scanned yer photos when ye're still little while ya were gone,” you informed him then showing him a folder you created in your device - baby hoshina soshiro folder, you named it - full of duplicates you made of the framed pictures of your boyfriend all over the house. there’s one where he didn’t have any hair at all; there’s one where he was close to crying but appeared to be keeping the tears in; there’s one where he was missing a tooth but smiling like there’s no tomorrow. soshiro moved to take your phone away, but you were quicker than him.

“this is payback, for all the times ya weren’t talking to me.” you were alluding to the three long months when you were still an applicant to the defense force and soshiro acted like you were a stranger. he had apologized for it already, but it is nice to make fun of him sometimes so you brought it up. “that hurt my feelings, ya know.” you laid down beside him, invading his personal space, your shoulders touching his.

“i was stupid”, he said. “and it’s not like i could have come up to ya and said, hey i’m sorry for leaving ya in himeji, by the way i’m crazy for ya.”

“and all those times i thought ya had something with commander ashiro, oh god!” you exclaimed for effect. “by the way, the other recruits thought the same.”

“it’s not like that between her and me.” his gaze on you was brief. “it’s not like that with anyone else.”

“it better not be, because i’m leaking all yer baby photos to the first division if ya mess up,” you threatened him despite not needing to.

“i promise, i won’t.” he grabbed your hand from your side and linked it with his, cradling it to his chest before bringing it to his lips. “i’m not that stupid.”

soshiro’s childhood room was what you would expect from a teenage boy: a king-sized bed, a bookshelf of manga, a cabinet showcasing knives and blades. you never had the opportunity to enter his room even when you were kids, you realized. you looked up to the ceiling and you saw green dots that formed shapes - makeshift constellations, you recognized the patterns - little plastic stickers that you glue to surfaces. “are those supposed to be stars?”

soshiro sighed, his arm on top of his face. “yeah, uh - remember when uh - i think that was in junior high, and ye're so into astronomy? i thought it’d be a good idea to know the names of the stars to impress ya, so i started trying to memorize them.”

you shifted to face him, speechless. maybe if you had known this, if you had known the other things you are certain now that soshiro had done and was willing to do for you, you wouldn’t have wasted years questioning your place in his life and deciphering his feelings. a wave of warmth washed over you as you reached out and lifted his arm off his face, meeting his eyes.

soshiro’s lips felt as soft as it looks like, you thought as you kissed him. you pushed yourself into him, and he pulled you tighter until it seemed there was not enough air for you to breathe - until your chests were pressed together it was as if your hearts were beating as one. something sparked inside you; the sensation of being so close to soshiro about to consume you from within. his hand crawled to your hips and remained there. you drew back a bit after that, and when you saw the panicked look on his face, you kissed him again.

“i love you,” you told him in between pants.

the night went on, and by the end of it, hoshina soshiro discovered that his favorite sound is you moaning his name.

[defectiveporcelaindoll]

I have a deep dark desire to write a Spencer Reid x young! bau agent but she’s like freshest of the fresh meat at the BAU and they’re going undercover at a university as a married couple.

Like I’m not a writer but the little gremlin in my brain is really fussing about this one.

Here’s the roughest of rough rough drafts/ brainstorms lurking in my notes app. Thoughts, prayers and notes are appreciated lol

CW: age gap (Spencer is in his 40’s, reader is 24-25)

UPDATE!! It’s begun! You can read the first two chapters now: The Albatross Series

Spencer Reid sits perfectly still his breath caught in his lungs as he watches the young woman in front of him sign her name on the dotted line. It’s official, Doctor Spencer Reid is a married man— sort of.

She glances up at him, offering a small smile as she closes the pen. “So…” It’s an attempt to break up the awkward tension though, if anything it only adds fuel to the fire.

Spencer clears his throat, eyes raking over her as the voice in his head tells him once again that this is an awful idea, that she is too young, that she has no field experience and there are far too many variables and ways this could all go south. He tries his best to shake them off,

“If you don’t mind me asking, I don’t mean this to be rude, I was a young agent- actually one of the youngest agents the bau has ever—“ he catches himself in his ramble, his eyes searching her face for any kind of discomfort before blinking harder than necessary in an attempt to focus. “Sorry- uh, how old are you…if you don’t mind me asking…?”

“I’ll be twenty-five in October…so twenty-four.”

He mouths the number nodding to himself. When he was twenty-four, he’d already been an agent for three years, he was already the team’s resident boy genius by twenty-four.

“Right…” he chuckles shaking his head “that means...w-when you were born I already had two PhDs and was nearly finished with my third…”

She groaned a slight blush covering her cheeks as she fought the embarrassed grin threatening to consume her lips. “Doctor Reid-”

“Spencer.” He cuts her off, offering a tight-lipped smile “Y-you can just call me Spencer…I don’t think most married couples use such formality when they’re addressing each other…”

“I guess you’re right,” she say offering a little nod “Spencer,” his name feels too personal on her lips “I-“ a rosy blush creeps up her neck as her mind goes completely blank, every thought she’s ever had melts away in the warm glow of his golden eyes.

[mypimpademia]

— Bad Religion

Teen! Gojo x Teen! gn! reader

TW: Light angst, unrequited love (gojo experiences heavy limerence), swearing

Note: Set during Gojos high school years. Based on the song “Bad Religion” by Frank Ocean.

Gojo Satoru may be god among men, but gods pray too.

He’s worshipped you since the moment he laid eyes on you, he’d kiss the ground you walk on and lay in your path so your feet never touch it.

He wasn’t sure if you didn’t know or didn’t care, but he was so entirely devoted to you that it didn’t even matter.

“It’s never gonna happen.”

Suguru’s voice fell on deaf ears, his friend far too focused on his so called “one true love”. He was practically burning holes into you with his stare, but the thought of you catching him didn’t cross his mind.

“Stop being creepy,” Suguru spat, nudging Satoru to catch his attention this time.

Satoru kissed his teeth, “I am not being creepy,” he defended. “Don’t they look incredible today?”

Suguru couldn’t help but cringe at the lovesick expression on Satoru’s face. It was dramatized with the intent of aggravating him, but he knew better than anyone that it was still very real.

“You say that everyday.”

It’s true, Satoru did say that everyday. But it wasn’t his fault you always looked so incredible.

Before Suguru could even blink, Satoru was on you like a magnet.

“Hey Toru,” your voice rang like a church bell. You missed it, but the staggering 6’3 boy’s knees buckled at the sound for a moment.

“You wanna go get boba with me later?” He was so enthusiastic, practically bursting at the seams with glee.

You felt bad saying no.

“Sorry Toru, I can’t today,” you frowned, and so did he. “Nanami is helping me study after school today, but another time, yeah?”

Satoru could feel hot spit pooling at the back of his throat, the thought of you being with someone else when you should’ve been with him made him sick. Nanami was his friend, but in that moment, he wished unspeakable things upon him.

“Toru, are you okay?” You asked, waving a hand in his face.

“I’m fine,” he’s not. “I was just thinking of when I’m free next,” he’s always free for you.

“Of course, just let me know, m’kay?” You smiled, and that was more than a blessing to him.

Satoru both couldn’t fathom and couldn’t stop imagining the thought of you being with someone else. How could you do that to him?

How could you do that to him when he was so in love with you, so devoted? He’d get on his knees if you asked, pray if you wanted, give you his life if you wanted, how could you?

Satoru had always heard that prayer was the only thing that could save someone, but as far as he was concerned, you were the only one he wanted to pray to.

Whether loving you was a cult or a religion, if you had no followers, he was as good as dead.

But unrequited love is nothing but a one man cult, and it’s a bad religion to love someone who could never love you.

—

Thank you for reading, comments and reblogs are appreciated, follow for more <3

—

Taglist: @megurulvr @zairene @planetlunaa @rynfiles @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @whats-humanity-lol @pinksilk @gender-queery @dcvilxswish @roaringlion @kxtsxkii

Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.

[mamaspark]

A very important person in my life received a cancer diagnosis recently. He will have chemo, surgery and more chemo. He will be fighting for his life. He us a big U of M (Michigan) fan. I decided he needed a quilt to take with him to his chemo and for napping. So I bought some fabric and made this top in 2 days. I adore this pattern and have made it several times now. It’s a free pattern by the Empty Bobbin Sewing Studio. It never disappoints! It’s with my quilter now. The backing I ordered won’t be to her until Monday so she will have to mail it to me to finish as I’ll be out of town. I had hoped to give it in person but don’t want to wait so will mail it to my friend.

I had LOTS of help as I was sewing it. Roary seems to think her job is to help with the piecing, lol.

I worked at U of M for almost 40 years. Their fight song is Hail to the Victors. I’m praying he is victorious in his fight! Would appreciate your prayers, good thoughts and positive healing energy 💙💛💙

Since I went to MSU(BIG) rivalry, he is one of the only people I would use these colors to make a quilt for!