#time is fake WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY ANIMATED FAVORITE ARE 20 YEARS OLD????

[mr-mustache-penis]

SHARK TALE IS 20 YEARS OLD

SHREK 2 IS 20 YEARS OLD

THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE IS TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OLD

[howtotrainyouragents]

Agent H’s TV Reactions

Spy x Family Season 1 

A spy is tasked with creating a fake family to infiltrate the enemy country, only to unwittingly marry an assassin and adopt a child telepath

-MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FAKE FAMILY

-I love that this a story about survivors of war. About how they fight for peace. About how they heal through love and relationships with each other. I love that it’s an action story, a drama, a comedy, a slice of life

-You can tell that this is an anime that really loves the story and source material. It is truly done with such love and care and attention to detail 

-I really wish that the opening/closing scenes were canon/shown because I want to see them going on vacations and dance around their home TT. I also want that scene of Loid at the train looking up at Yor on the balcony. I also love the scene in the second opening scene of Yor hugging Anya by the window

-The teacups theme song is my new comfort song

-I have such a crush on Loid. The tousled “at home” hair will be the death of me. 

-HE’S SUCH A DAD. Have him make a corny dad jokes and HE’S THERE

-I love that Loid’s complaint of Anya is that she’s unpredictable. Like, yes, the best spy in the world, the man who can predict and prepare for any situation in the world, is having his ass handed to him by a four year old

-Meanwhile it take Anya about 48 hours to learn that no matter how cool your parents are, all parents are lame

-I know it was for the interview, but I think Loid genuinely meant it when he said he found a kindred spirit in Yor. The moment at the party I think is when Yor starts to fall for him, but also when Loid recognizes that they are alot alike, that she “may be the only person who can accept him for who he is right now.”

-Also, Loid absolutely fell in love with Yor when she first knocked out that bad guy

-Yor being the emotional support and rock of the family. The way she supports and cares for Anya and plays with her and gives her advice (however helpful it is XD). And the way that she supports Loid, breaking him out of his anxiety. Like in the restaurant in the third episode, he’s totally spiraling about the interview, and she doesn’t know what’s going on in his head, but she knows to take them to the park for fresh air and perspective and it’s just what he needed

-The scene of Loid and Yor comforting each other as parents is one of the most foundational scenes of the story

-I saw some people a while back being like “Twilight is going to get too soft and eventually do something emotionally and jeopardize Operation Strix” You mean, the interview???

-Anya punching Damian is one of the greatest scenes of all time

-The dodgeball episode is one of the greatest episodes ever made XD

-The penguin park episode may be my favorite. Whole family working together without knowing what the others are doing. Yor kicking a guy into the ceiling. Loid winning the penguin for his girl. Loid wanting a vacation then STOPPING and deciding to just work harder because he loves his girls so much

-BOND IS THE BEST BOY

-My heart broke with Sylvia’s simple “I had a daughter once like her.” 

-The Loid reflection while they’re at the dog park broke me

-Loid being proud of his daughter jumping two boxes and jumping rope five times

-In any other show Nightfall would be the most iconic, fan-favorite character ever made, and (we love her too!) the only reason she’s not here is because she’s competing with the fucking Forgers

-Yes, Loid, you should switch to decaf

-I love the episode of Yuri tutoring Anya because for how intense Yuri is about work and his sister, he really is just a 20 year old kid. And I just love seeing this big kid get so exasperated with this little kid, and I hope they get more bonding in the future lol

-Shinybluebirdwizard pointed it out that Becky Blackbell is pretty much the only character remotely living as her authentic self and that is fucking hilarious

-Damian always being ready to fight when it comes to Anya

-I would be very curious to learn about Japan’s role and viewpoint in the Cold War because it’s interesting how this is Cold War Germany inspired 

-I had a separate post about the tennis arc. Let's see if I ever write it up...

-Loid going out of his way to reassure and support Yor just because he wants her to be happy. I am ride or die for this couple

-Loid ep 6: Yor is sad, I should reassure her!

Loid ep 15: Yor is sad, I should take her out on a date!

Loid ep 24: Yor is sad, I should take her on a date and ask her to marry me! Like, bud, the reaction does not equal the situation. With all of Loid overthinking I’m genuinely trying to understand how he thought honey-trapping Yor would be beneficial for the musssion. Like I know why he does it but Loid, what was your reasoning there

-The last episode was so good!! The hat tip mirroring the first episode. The importance of love and care and communication and trying to be there for each other. The final words summarizes the whole story, and the teacups song playing through Loid's words. Anya’s at bliss even when he has no idea what’s going on in her head: They don't understand each other but they love each other and want to do their best for each other. That's it. That's the whole story.

-Extremely important question: Is Loid licensed to be working as a psychiatrist. Because on one hand, obviously it’s just a cover story. On the other hand, Loid has never half assed anything in his life and cramming years of worth of medical school and passing a licensing exam just to make his story airtight is exactly the kind of thing he would do. Endo, respectfully are you listening. Endo, please, I need to know this

[incarnateirony]

one would think she'd get suspicious at 'this is how we roll'. no wonder henry junior showed up injured

Anyway here's her training a bird she didn't mean to bring home but insists on breaking the spirit of and calling training

Meanwhile, the actual things she calls gods, trying to send this woman a goddamn fucking signal:

Too busy to face self and have true divine experience, must keep running from embarrassment of the truth, I guess.

How interesting of her to post when she did oh well that's none of my business except it totally is.

Anyway have an update on Henry, the eggs, and his favorite spot on top of the spider cage, and a spicy pigeon still slapping her while she tries to hand groom them out of what they are because SHE picked the wrong bird without looking too close at it first.

I love how often she goes like "they're nonviable" like that's some weird answer to my Say Sike Shea. No them hatching isn't the point lady. Lady, this has that "the reaper wants dear ol me to stay in the state, his power stops at the state line and I think he's into me with this 30 car pileup" energy again.

You know, when I was younger, I dealt with a physical abuser who screwed with my life for a pretty good chunk of years.

Shealyn, I would rather experience Derek again than watch you continue to breathe without speaking the truth of what you are doing and have done with your plagiarism and lies and cult, after your 20 years of fucking up my life, even around and past him, betrayal after betrayal, excuse after excuse, 3 years of youu post divorce harassment, six months of you stalking my business investor.

This "pretend to ignore it to be the bigger person" shit don't work sis, because this is happening not only until, but after one of us dies, until you face the truth, I am not fucking kidding. You don't get to stalk me for three years then catloaf and play better by being silent when you're pinned down from running. You have become a soulless husk. You're the definition of narcissistic abuser. At this point, you goddamn know you're wrong, you're just hoping you can hold out against any magic assault or that if you Wish hard enough, it won't really affect you, and maybe is as fake as you are.

Derek fucked up my life... what, seven years? If we count the sum of texas time? Eight? You're at twenty years of cycling horse shit. And your response to your cult penis pacifier privileges to your ex husband that does not approve of it, while you show off your hymns of our 2013 romance roleplay list and call it hermes, and conceptualize him as my face or my designs??? YOUR RESPONSE? Sit there. Ignore it. When it's not fearful deer fleeing it's stubborn cat cunt that knows she's wrong and thinks if she loafs she can ignore looking at herself and admitting, god forbid, you can be wrong. Like the ONE fuckin trait you've kept of Athena and you take the most toxic.

No seriously Shea, I'd rather go back to a dude trying to beat the shit out of me with the occasional murder attempt like a wheel of season holiday than have to endure THIS EXACT SHIT OF YOURS, YOU ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU FACE, AND SPEAK, THE TRUTH. At least when I show up with bruises people believe me, this narcissistic calculated bullshit of yours doesn't leave marks, and you goddamn know it, and you motherfucking exploit that, you monster. Especially when you groom people out of reading or listening to the actual history of the situation.

I'M NOT DOING THIS MY WHOLE LIFE, MORTAL OR ETERNAL, WITH YOU!! I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOU UP MY ASS AND IN DENIAL OF EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR ANOTHER TWO DECADES!! MUCH LESS WITH YOUR WEIRD RAPEY CULT.

This bitch like "i show up with oreos once every two weeks (to talk to my own shadows that I disassociate) but My Practice Is Very Valid" while her practice is my old roleplay shadow writing bloc, my food choices, my weird anime joke, and my old and new playlist mixed in with her emo. Meanwhile it's like, here's an actual path of hermes during a major advent wheel of seasons. A bunch of people are evoking this together and here's my extra bass amp. Her? Nonono, uh, that can't. Be doing nothing. Nothing but her personal rewrite of history or (dis)respect for religion she claws for her right to do with tumblr arguments, using my appropriated works she's butchering into reverse-land, nothing but that fucking matters, even when she goddamn knows better.

No Shea, this is fr, Coyote literally hates you and wants to expedite your self chosen trip to the void, and it's all your fault, and I'm Aaron, the Coyote, who is separate from Hermes but part of the brotherhood, and you continue to try to argue with me about who I am like you can do that.

No bitch, you wanted Hermes, you found him, just not the fucking way you thought, because you always went the other way from all his lessons, and now even the rites of Mithras and wings of twitter and whatever the fuck is all explaining to you what's happened, but you don't want to listen, because "follower of hermes" refusing all signs. The signs are, telephone has been ringing, bitch. You've been dumped.

Not our fault you don't even grok what the path of attainment with him even fuckin is. Or what it meant for you to pick this fight with me. Or all the choices you've made that brought us here.

If "respecting" your 'religion" requires ignoring and denying all others, or even the actual doctrine of the originating beliefs, or tolerating your abuse in silence and shame, you're just doing american christianity in a paganism fursuit, let's not get it twisted. But like. With a weird element where you made your ex god, and he's telling you to stop it, and you won't.

I REPEAT IN THE FORM OF A MOTHERFUCKIN ABRAHADABRA: I'M NOT DOING THIS MY WHOLE LIFE, MORTAL OR ETERNAL, WITH YOU!! I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOU UP MY ASS AND IN DENIAL OF EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR ANOTHER TWO DECADES!! MUCH LESS WITH YOUR WEIRD RAPEY CULT. I AM ENDING THIS. THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS IS FACING YOURSELF AND SPEAKING THE TRUTH, NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU TRY TO SIT SILENT HOPING I GIVE UP LIKE YOU WOULD. THIS ISN'T HAPPENING ANOTHER 20-11-3 YEAR CIRCUIT, ITS FUCKIN NOT, YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA GET THREE YEARS TO KEEP FUCKING AROUND AND FINDING OUT AT THIS RATE.

[mirror-vicit-omnia]

Ya know what? F*ck it. DMC Heathers!AU where Dante is Jason Dean but never tries to blow up the school or murder anybody and the reader is Veronica.

Dante has an adoptive jackass dad, Big Blood Dean. Sparda is in hell and Eva is dead. Vergil is a missing person's case no one can solve. Big Blood Dean adopted him for the money and drags Dante all across the map with his shady deconstruction company.

The reader is in the same situation as veronica, it goes to canon. They get an in with the Heathers, there's probably a Martha involved.

Fight For Me. Just imagine Dante kicking ass. Those jocks wouldn't stand a chance in a million years.

I like the West End performance for all this.

Dante doesn't quote Baudelaire (if this was Vergil instead of Dante, yes he would have)

Reader: "Okay, don't just drop a snappy one-liner and then walk away! Excuse me? I didn't catch your name?"

Dante, all devil-may-care swagger: "Well, I didn't throw it."

If you think Jason Dean was a good fighter, you should see dante. He's always finding places to train with his sword and picking fights to keep sharp. Yep, he still has demonic powers and demonic heritage and a demonic sword.

He's been dragged to 10 different high schools. Now, Dante is the kind of guy who can just drop everything, pick up and go, if it weren't for the fact that he's adoptive dad sucks. Yeah, he's asking himself these days why he didn't just bail sooner.

He probably tried to run away when he was younger and the cops found him. Even young little Dante knew not to let anyone know about his demon heritage I guess. I don't know.

Anyway, enough logic!

The reader and Dante do not cause the death of Heather chandler. Maybe they think they did, cuz Dante still made the joke of poisoning Heather, and the mugs still got switched up, but later on after the entire world thinks Heather Chandler died a saint, the reader tells Dante that she doesn't think whatever Heather drank was what killed her.

Of course, the body is gone and so is any evidence that could have told them otherwise.

Meanwhile, Heather Duke rises in red and Kurt and Ram insist that they slept with the reader and did drugs.

Dante picks the reader up when they fall apart crying. He does set up the plan of baiting the jocks to the cemetery at dawn. But he's actually planning to knock them out and do some crazy embarrassing stuff with them, the kind of immature terror that only Young men can conceive of and inflict on one another.

Chloroform is involved. Dante packs his gun for safety. He's not a demon Hunter yet, but he knows what's out there, and there's no way he's walking into a cemetery without one weapon at least.

So, the jocks were probably going to wake up naked and tied up on a monument in the Town square or a landmark for everyone to see. It might even make the papers, since this town is so small. Dante would fleece them for their money, and encourage the reader to do the same.

"Hey, how about we divvy it up? One for you, one for me. One for you, and one, two for me- Ow! Fine, whatever, take what you want!"

But what was meant to be a life ruining prank goes horribly wrong. They got Ram, but Kurt's streaking through the graveyard in his skivvies.

Dante sprints after him. "Don't worry, I'll get him back!"

Funny. Kurt should be here. Dante knows how fast a human can run. He checks behind the tombstones, but the jock simply isn't here. Like he just disappeared.

There's a shift in the air. Dante stands still. Even for a cemetery, it's too quiet. Not peaceful. Tents. Restless. Dante's just trotting back when he knows. The reader feels something, too, that pricking in the hind brain that sets the hairs standing. Dante flicks back the red tails of his duster and pulls out his gun.

Reader: "Woah! Are those guns real?!"

Dante flexes his bicep: "'Course they are, babe!"

Reader: "No! I mean th-!"

Bang! A murder of crows take to the air. The only thing more unnerving than the mist and the gunshot is the cold hard gleam in Dante's eye.

And something in the tombstones growls.

Basically, there's probably some small hellgate in the area. Weak demons are leaking through.

The plot turns away from Heather's and fake suicides and mental illness into an '80s horror slasher flick in which Dante and the reader survive and work together to break the hell gate. Dante's dad might end up dead in the process, not by his hands but just because. Alternatively, Dante decides that he's turning 18 in a couple of months and soon the law won't be able to chase after him. He doesn't know what he's going to do with his life, but he sure as hell isn't letting big blood Dean drag him anywhere anymore.

Either way, it's implied that Dante finds his calling through this story.

And becomes a demon hunter.

Demons might have been possessing people or killing people and making it look like suicides so they can drain the humans of their blood when they're brought to the morgue. A bunch of lesser demons serving a relatively stronger demon.

It serves a similar effect as the sensationalization of fake suicides in the musical's plot. Only now the reader forged the suicide notes and set up the fake suicides in order to protect them both. There's no way the law was going to buy the truth.

The reader still has to deal with Heather duke, Heather mcnamara, the horrors of the hierarchy of the high school. They deal with Miss Fleming and the assembly. Is Heather McNamara from actually committing suicide, but then there's still a demon attack that they have to somehow protect both of them from. And this is taking place in the '80s, so there are no cell phones and the landline is cut.

The hellgate was dormant under the boiler room in the high school.

If Dante got possessed, we could still have some Dead Girl Walking (Reprise) and the reader shoots him but it's Dante so he survives!

Whatever was possessing him was nowhere near as good at fighting as a human.

Cherry flavored slushies. Dante drinks cherry flavored slushies, and when he sings I thought emotional part where he accidentally reveals thoughts of suicide, he tries to brush it off with humor, as always.

Still our favorite chaotic half demon.

Cherry flavored slurpees and pizza and teenage detective work that dpuble as dates. Dante doesn't give a s*** and just wants to be pointed in the direction of the fight. The reader is actually doing research and carefully trying to piece together what is going on. Dante provides whatever he knows on demons. And hell.

Dante: "Yeah, my dad is the legendary demon Sparda. My mom and brother died in a demon attack on our house and that's why I'm in foster care."

Reader: "Okay... Sounds fake, but okay..."

Dante gets shot right in the chest. Reader freaks out, but still manages to blow up the hell gate with a bomb and thermals. To collapse the whole gymnasium, which is empty.

They crawl out of the dust. Shaking, a lot to process all at once.

Then there's a whistle. And impressed whistle. The reader looks up. It's Dante, standing strong and straight and waving at dust like he's not squirting blood out of the hole in his chest. "Now, that was some fireworks! Remind me to invite you to my next birthday party."

And that was when the reader believed that he was actually half demon.

Plot twist a faculty member opened the hell gate and it's Miss Fleming the hippie.

I wanted to feel more 80s than it sounds here, and other than that that's all I've got.

Edit 8/20/21

The reader wears the blue Heathers uniform. Short grey skirt and all.

Or if you don't like skirts, then trousers. Tight, flattering trousers. Dante loves to watch how they pull in all the right places.

The two of you are hanging out upstairs in his room, talking about the deaths. The read is worried, fretting over the mystery, flipping through pages in their notebook; Dante sprawls next to them, half hanging off the bed, head in their lap, yawning. The front door opens and bangs shut. Dante springs out of his seat. Suddenly, he wants to get out if the house.

"Hey, do you want some ice cream? Dairy Queen, strawberry sundae, you and me. C'mon!"

Big Blood Dean stomps upstairs. "Dante! Get yer worthless ass in gear! We gotta a job, you gotta go on a supply run-"

Dean barges right on in. Looks at Dante. Looks at the reader. "You got company."

"S'there a problem?" Dante sounds cool. Too cool. He's on his feet and wandering about the room, like he's bored. The reader tenses. Dean is huge, but he somehow looms beyond his size.

Dante does his careless waltz. The reader can't take their eyes off Dean. Like a frightened animal. How can Dante expose his back like that?!

But by getting up, he's put himself between you and his adoptive parent.

"Get rid of them," orders Dean.

Shrugging, Dante pats your knee. "Alright, c'mon, babe." He leads you by the elbow to the window. You still keep an eye on Dean. He's glaring.

Dante throws open the window and bows. "After you!"

"Um, the front door is...?"

He's not serious.

"Go on!"

He's serious.

Hesitant, you stick a leg through and let him push you the rest of the way out. Then he slips out, too

"You come back here, boy-!"

"See ya, old man!" Dante slams the window shut.

"Is he going to lock you out?" You ask as you shimmy down the drain pipe.

"He can't. You broke my window lock."

Dante buys two Sundaes because he doesn't want to share; after he polishes off his, he's snatching bites of yours.

He used the "Nevada account."

(Update 9-20-21)

And this whole story would be even better with JD!Virgil instead.

Virgil didn't have time yet to harden from the demon attack before Big Blood Dean adopted him.

This is all much the same as with JD!Dante, except that Virgil gets darker (not that Veronica!Reader knows how bad it is; they didn't accidentally murder Heather together) carries a gun and everything.

In the big final fight, Virgil runs out of ammo. Demons have cornered him. It's the house, his Mom, Dante, all over again.

One blink later, the demons are all dead, slashed open. Virgil shakes as he yanks on the handle in his grip, and pulls out the blade from a soft belly.

Yamato. How did it get here? These demons are unrecognizable, like dead carrion at a butchers. Did I do this? He thinks, distant and fuzzy, as he watches his hands like watching a film as they flip his sword.

Humans are weak. Humans are wretched.

The reader's smile passes through his mind.

... Perhaps not all humans are... Deserving of death.

They're just weak. Virgil flicks gore off the sword, and heads to his house, looking for Big Blood Dean.

He didn't like the way Dean had scared you with the "Norwegian in the Boiler Room" talk, anyway.

(Spoilers: Dean doesn't live. And Virgil loves you, but this was mostly for him. It's the tipping point, and afterwards he chooses his demonic heritage over humanity. But less "kill them all" and more "purge those who dare cross our path- but don't tell Reader, they get upset easily." What they don't know can't hurt them- and you have Virgil to thank.)

You two definitely run away together at the end. Off to explore knowledge of demons and Hell and whatever else.

You want to seal off the Hellgates that are being all over the world.

Virgil wants to level-grind.

It's couples-time, really.

[the-ghost-king]

You know how everyone has at least one minor rrverse character with no significance but they're you're favorite? Okay Mitchell from the Aphrodite Cabin is one of mine...

Make him Italian, probably Southern Italian I like to imagine his family immigrated from the Florentine area

Trans masc

At first he thinks he's just a gnc trans guy but after he starts medical transition he realizes he's nonbinary

Uses he/they pronouns generally

But when people he's close to talk about or to him and they're using nouns to describe him they use female gendered nouns (ex: daughter, lady, girl, etc), and yes these are a part of his gender expression

Also the type of person to hyphenate their deadname with their original middle name as their new middle name

They definitely are the type of person too who just invites invasive and awkward questions (as long as they're being asked in good faith) for educational purposes, and he'll give you the most derailed answer if that's what you want

Also he might be femme but he's not weak and he will beat you up if you're just being unnecessarily transphobic

His dad is a high quality fashion designer and because of this Mitchell is kind of spoiled (okay very spoiled) about clothes, always having high thread count clothes and also personally tailored pieces

They've got some casual plans to take over their dad's business but he thinks that he wants to expand it out into a more affordable fashion market for the average person (they like affordable and sustainable fashion too! The artistic pieces are nice but it's not a long-term sustainable business model!)

He personally dresses very camp, even the cishets look at him and go "oh he's you know... _/‾"

They love a good suit, very gender to him

Him, Nico, and Chiara all getting together to talk in Italian; and have culturefests or something

Watching Italian films, and TV shows, updating Nico on modern Italian culture, etc

Bi or Pan, but doesn't really feel the need to label himself, usually just says multisexual or mspec unless someone doesn't know what that means

His attraction to women is gay, his attraction to nonbinary people is gay, his attraction to men is gay... If you can't handle that you're not their target audience

Idk how old they are but Rick's timeline is fake and so are ages then, so him and Austin are dating

Very cute couple, very casual dynamic, probably have won "cutest couple award" or something at some point

Definitely went to all their high school dances together

Their favorite color... Probably green or pink... Yellow is also a good option

Mitchell probably wears glasses for the "aesthetic" but has worse vision with them on

Would not put it past him to be a social media influencer but have a secret Twitter account for BL

He definitely reads GL too

Very into anime, jdrama, and manga, likes manhwa and kdrama and any other variation of those things

Yeah probably kpop too

They probably like stuff like "My First First Love" and "Cherry Magic!" etc

First anime was probably one of the ones everyone seems to start with so maybe "Your Lie in April" or "Ouran High school Host Club"... His all time favorite is probably "Given"

First Manga... Probably "Orange" or something unexpected like "Black Butler"

He's definitely the person who introduces Nico to anime and such... The whole thing just sort of confuses Nico but he likes a couple of them, "Death Note" and some other psychological or horror type stuff

Definitely has some talent when it comes to hair styling, lots of people at camp are always going to him for haircuts and styles so he starts charging $2 or something for it and basically has a summer job at camp

He lives in the New York area year round (honestly, he probably goes home on the weekends sometimes from summer camp and goes to camp for the weekends sometimes in the school year)

Because of how close he is to camp other people in the area will often call him to do their hair and makeup for homecoming/prom/etc and he always agrees unless he's visiting family in Italy or he's touring with his dad

Likes to chill with Austin at the infirmary, partially to hang out but also probably because that's one of the few places in camp that has air conditioning

Will is always getting after him for sitting on the counters, something about it being unsanitary but they don't think it should matter as long as they're not in any of the operating rooms

Austin likes him too much to tell him no but yeah it's not sanitary, but to Austin the choice is a sanitary counter or a happy and comfortable boyfriend... He's picking happy boyfriend

Also Mitchell is very supportive of Austin's music career and always trying to convince Austin to let them use tracks of his music on the runways at their dad's shows

But Austin always says no because he wants to "make it big on his own" which Mitchell thinks is a bit silly but if it's what Austin wants he'll support it

Mitchell is super into camp's drama, they don't do anything with the information or all the secrets they just like knowing all of it

If you ask them to keep a secret they absolutely will

But that embarrassing story about you that went around camp five years ago that you lowkey wish everyone would just stop talking about, he's the one that keeps restarting the cycle

He babbles to Nico all the time about all the ongoings of camp because Nico is also good at keeping his mouth shut, but Nico doesn't care about the drama for the same reasons though (Nico: "Hold on, back up, you said Drew knows Sadie Kane? Interesting..." Mitchell:"okay Mr. Ominous, and also yeah, I did say that, so anyhow... ")

Very artistic person in general, he can probably play the piano okay, he's no professional and no Apollo kid but he can play some songs, and they have enough practice to learn new songs on their own!!

Definitely was voted by camp to have the worst taste in music though

Says his favorite movie is probably "Bring It On" or "Heathers" of something similar, but his actual favorite film is one of those cliche silent black and white ones that's only available in French

They definitely did dance for a few years growing up, has a ballet, tap, and hip hope background to work with but he left it behind when we was 13 or so but eventually they start to get back into hip hop and keep up with various types and lessons and places through their 20s

He's always the person to start groupchats

They think they're fun but they rarely take off without prompting from him

Also often times plays matchmaker for people ("they would be a cute couple wouldn't they? I don't know though, does she like girls? I think so?")

Those are just some ideas off the top of my head, hopefully you enjoy!

[linopetal]

photograph. chapter one

pairing : na jaemin x reader

genre : angst , fluff , best friends to almost lovers , hanahaki disease au

word count : 5k

warnings : heavy cursing , mentions of blood , throwing up , dying , death

synopsis : so you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans holding me closer 'til our eyes meet you won't ever be alone

note : this heavily based off of ed sheeran’s song photograph ! ( it will make more sense in the later chapters ! ). this is also based on jaemins love for photography since he is always taking pictures of the members !

one.

At nine years old , Jaemin was gifted his first camera by his mother on Christmas morning. His mother always saw the look inside his eyes when they landed on the nice and expensive cameras in the mall. He always found nature in itself so pretty. His mother decided that a white disposable camera would perfectly fit him for his Christmas present. “ Jaemin it’s time for you to open your gift “ , his mother said in a soft voice. He remembers anxiously running up to the colorfully light christmas tree and bending down to pick up a present with his name largely written over it in black ink . The wrapping paper had pretty white snowflakes and snowmen printed all over. Quickly grabbing the present , he ripped open the box only to reveal a camera. He remembers this warm and happy feeling flowing throughout him. Most children his age would want toys and things like that , but that was not Jaemin. He didn’t see what was so important about toys that you would soon get rid of once you found a new and cooler looking toy. Grabbing the white camera , he hugged his mom. “ Thank you Mom! This is my favorite gift “ , he said smiling.

At ten years old , Jaemin was taking pictures of different things he ran across of during his walks in the neighborhood park. He vividly remembers taking a walk in the near by park that was recently built in his neighborhood. He stumbled across this little pond. Jaemin was fond of animals. Whether it be a dog or a goose , it didn’t matter to him , he thought they were all such beautiful creatures. He quickly grabbed his camera out of his back pocket to take a picture of the ducks swimming in the pond before they swam off. Jaemin wrote on the palm of his hand , “ Pond. Nice spot for photos “ as a reminder to come back to that exact spot another time to take photos. He still had the same old disposable white camera that he was gifted one christmas ago.

two.

At fifteen years old , Jaemin had just entered the ninth grade. Jaemin was always a quiet student. He didn’t interact with many students. Though , Jaemin was popular amongst some because of his looks and nice personality , he preferred to stay out of the crowd. He never liked being the center of attention in any context. He was fine with his one and only friend , Renjun. Huang Renjun had been Jaemin’s best friend since the second grade. They had met during the first day of school. Jaemin’s mom had made him a small creeper necklace.

Renjun had notice it and engaged in a very long conversation with him about how Minecraft was the best game to ever exist. And since that day they were inseparable. Renjun was basically Jaemin’s brother. He was always invited to family events. It was the same for Renjun aswell. They did everything together. Jaemin was very appreciative of Renjun. He had never had a friend like him. They stuck together throughout elementary.

Jaemin had just moved to a new neighborhood. His mom had recently got promoted to a higher placement in the company she worked at so they had to move a little ways over to be closer to her job. Renjun’s parents worked at the same branch of the company that Jaemin’s parents worked at meaning that they both would still go to the same school.

During the first day of nineth grade , Jaemin had decided to take his new green disposable camera with him , which he bought with money he saved up from doing chores. He bought it with him for on his way back to his house from school. There was a pretty park and he just felt like he had to capture the beauty he felt it held.

Jaemin was intimidated easily by people , though he was careful with the emotions he showed. He was to busy placing his camera into his backpack to notice the visibly taller and scary looking guys approaching him “ Hey what is that in your hand ? “ , the middle one asked sarcastically. “ Uh uhm its just a uh camera “ , Jaemin said nervously. “ Oh well mind if I see it for a second ? “ , the middle one asked with a fake smile on his face. Jaemin got a weird feeling in his stomach yet he was scared to say no so he simply nodded and complied out if fear of the strong boy. As he place the green camera in the boy’s hand , he heard the two other boys chuckle. Jaemin had attempted to take the camera back out of his hand but he failed in his attempt. Right then and there the middle boy took the camera , threw it on then ground , stomp on it and broke it into pieces. He looked at Jaemin and said , “ Thats what you get for being weird camera boy “, he said. Jaemin was upset. He spent six months saving up money to afford that camera. All the photos he had taken and all the memories stored were simply gone. He held back his tears and then all of a sudden he heard yelling. “ You asshole , why would you do that ? Fuck you , there was no point in that. “ you said angrily. “ Hey, Y/N you better calm down now “ the middle boy said in a mad voice. “ Fuck no “ , you said as you slapped the boy. Jaemin was caught off guard. No one had stood up for him when things like this occurred. Renjun was too much of a coward to stand up , and Jaemin understood that. He watched as you walked up to him and asked him , “ Hey , are you okay? I’m so sorry Jihoon acted that way to you. I’m Y/N by the way. If you want, I could by you a new camera ? “ , you said to him in a worried yet sweet tone. Jaemin was embarrassed. Eyes were on him and you which made him feel weird. You had notice his sudden discomfort due to the people staring and you looked at them and glared. When they turned their heads around you looked back at him with a soft smile. He realized it had been a good 20 seconds and he hadn’t answered you yet. “ Oh uh I’m Jaemin. Thank you so much. You don’t have to buy me a camera. I can just save up some money to buy another one “ , He said. “ Oh no don’t worry. It’s no bother Jaemin! “ , you said in a soft tone. He liked the way you said his name. And ever since then ,you two became best friends.

About a week after the incident that occurred on the first day of school , you and Jaemin had miraculously became friends. In the spam of seven days you both managed to find out you both live right beside each other , you both love peaches , and you both have an addiction to horror movies. You were both practically made to be best friends. From that day on it was you , Renjun , and Jaemin. You all had became best friends. It was you three against the world. You couldn’t ask for better friends.

One day , Jaemin had just woken up on a Saturday morning to the sound of his doorbell ringing multiple times. He thought he was going to catch a headache. He was a little annoyed but his annoyance quickly disappeared when he opened the door to only see you. He smiled so widely while looking at you that he didn’t even notice the item in your hand. Your were so cute , how could he not ? As you walked inside his nice and comfy home , you handed him the small box in your hand. “ What is this Y/N ? “ , he asked. “ Just open it Jaemin , I’m positive you will love it “ , you said smiling. You had a nice smile , he thought. You had known each other for eight months now , why was he thinking such things ? He shook the thoughts away and slowly started to unwrap the box. A camera. No. It wasn’t just any camera , it was a real camera. Not a disposable camera , a real one. He was shocked that you spent so much money on this. But he was beyond happy. “ Y/N , you really didn’t have to you know ? “ he said , still in shock. “ I know but , I wanted to. You love photography and I thought it would be a nice appreciation gift. Plus , when we hung out here a month ago , your mom showed me all the photos you’ve taken. They’re beautiful Jaemin. It’s artwork. So I thought you deserve this kind of camera. “ , you said sweetly to him. Why were you so perfect ? And why were you the most kind hearted and selfless person he had ever met ? And why was he feeling things he had never before ? It was that moment he realized , he had liked you. He didn’t realize it then , but to put it simply , Jaemin was fucked. When he became conscious of how he felt , he only watched those feelings grow stronger.

three.

Junior year had now arose. During sophomore year he met Chenle , Jisung , and Dongyhuck who all became an addition to your now expanded friend group. Jaemin had met them during try outs for the soccer team. He had been acquaintances with Hyuck prior. They had both met in ninth grade biology but they all didn’t become close until sophomore year. You were all inseparable. Friday movie nights were a frequent thing. You loved hanging out with them. But recently, everyone besides you and Jeno , had notice a recent change in Jaemin’s behavior. It had all came about when the two new boys , Mark and Jeno , had transferred to your school the beginning of junior year ( which they quickly became an addition to your friend group ) . The boys didn’t understand why Jaemin always sent Jeno an envious look. Jeno and Jaemin had naturally hit it off when they first had met. Jeno felt understood by Jaemin and Jaemin felt the same exact way. But what Jeno and you failed to realize was that Jaemin slowly had become envious of him in these recent months. The rest of the boys didn’t want to pry on Jaemin because they , themselves , didn’t understand the underlying situation and potential problem. So , they had let it slide due to the well being of their friend group.

Donghyuck had invited the whole group to his house for the usual friday movie night. On Monday , Hyuck sent out a text to the ‘ barbie’s life in the dream house ‘ group chat ( name was Mark’s choice , of course ) the list of food needed and who was to buy what. Donghyuck was never one to care about relatively anything BUT when it came to food he was one specific human being.

“ Did you all get the EXACT food I told you too ? “ , Hyuck said with a raised eyebrow. “ Yes , Yes we did Donghyuck “ , Chenle said. “ And before you ask , I didn’t forget to buy you tteokbokki “ , Jaemin said. “ You’re my favorite Jaemin just so you know “ , Hyuck said , sending a finger heart Jaemin’s way.

When Jaemin saw you walk through the door , he couldn’t help the way his heart had begun to beat so incredibly fast. Jaemin was one to observe every detail of a person. He noticed every small to large detail about you in that moment and he admired it all. He wanted to rush to you and sit right beside you but he saw the way Jeno beat him to it. Jaemin let out a sigh which caused Renjun’s attention. “ Hey you okay Jaemin ? “ , Renjun asked Jaemin. “ Yea uh just stressed “ , he replied. Renjun only nodded , turning away to focus on Chenle who had a bunch of movies in his hands. But Jaemin attempted to move his eyes away from the flirtatious scene infront of him.

“ Hey Jaemin “ , mark said , pulling Jaemin out of his thoughts and trance , “ Did you bring your camera ? We should take a group photo right now like we always do ! “ , mark suggested and everyone cheered. The camera. The one you bought him. You. You. You. Always fucking you. Jaemin shook his heading and grabbed his camera , signaling everyone to gather around. Of course you were right beside Jeno. He pushed a painful feeling down his throat. He clicked the timer button and went to join the photo. After the photo was done he put the camera in his bag and sat beside Donghyuck. And you , of course you were by Jeno.

Chenle suddenly placed all the movies infront of him on the carpet. “ Okay , We need to choose what we are going to watch right ? “ , he said and everyone nodded. “ So that means , Close your eyes and when I call out a movie name , raise your hand if you want to watch it okay ? The movie with the most votes is what were are going to watch. “ , Chenle explained. “ Since when were you so bossy Mr. Zhong Chenle ? “ Jeno jokingly asked. And there it was , your beautiful giggle. But again , was it for Jaemin , was it directed towards Jaemin because of something funny he said ? No. Never was it. It was for Jeno as always. Jaemin felt something poking at his throat. Ouch. It hurt but he tried to suppress the pain in order to focus on picking a movie.

“ Okay close your eyes everyone “ , Chenle ordered. “ Zootopia “ “ Rio 2 “ “ The Nun “ “Chucky “ , Chenle named out. “ Okay open now. We have the movie! “ , Chenle announced. “ What is it ? Tell me Tell me “ , you said in the softest voice ever. Jaemin suddenly wanted everything to stop. “ Chucky!” , Chenle said . “ Yay! “ , you cheered , Jeno smiled that perfect eye smile of his , and hugged your arm. This wasn’t good , Jaemin thought. He then felt a pain in his throat and motioned to the others that he was going to the bathroom and would be right back. What is this pain ? It hurt so damn much as if he was going to throw up something unusual.

He was right. Very unusual. Terrifying. Fucking scary. He felt like he was going to faint. Petals. Fucking petals. He threw up goddamn petals. Not just any petals. They were pink carnations. Fucking hell. Jaemin memorized many meanings of flowers. He always thought flowers were beautiful. He loved the fact that each of them had their on individual meaning and significance. But pink carnations, they symbolized “ I’ll never forget you “. Jaemin couldn’t stop freaking out. His hands had begun to uncontrollably shake once he realized what was happening. Hanahaki disease. Fucking hanahaki disease. He hoped this wasn’t it. He really hoped. He tried to pick up his phone and look up what was happening. And damnit , it fucking was hanahaki disease. A disease where a person falls in deep love with someone but the person that their inlove with doesn’t return their feelings so they start throwing up the petals of the favorite flower of the person their inlove with. And if they end up never returning the feelings , you die. A flower will form in your throat causing the thorns to kill you. But there is always chance that they might love you back , a very small chance. And he was throwing up pink carnations. How fucking relevant.

Jaemin quickly realized that if he didn’t clean up the bathroom quick and go back to the living room , they are all going to start worrying. But he knew he couldn’t stay. It hadn’t fully hit him that he was going to possibly die soon , but he was aware and there was no way in hell way he going to go back there and quicken the process. He quickly ran out the door to the living room and attempted to give some shitty ass excuse to get the hell out of there before something bad happens.

“ Hey guys , I just don’t feel well. I think I am just going to go home and get some rest “ , He said apologetically. “ Oh bye Jaemin! I love you “ you said smiling. That hurt. It hurt so much but he bottled it all up. “ Yea we love you! Get home safe “ , Jeno said waving bye with the other boys. That hurt worse.

Why was the world so unfair to Jaemin ? Why was the world such a shitty and unfortunate place ? And why did Jaemin have to live on a time limit ? Jaemin couldn’t do this. Three years of his life he has spent liking you and now he finds out he is going to die because of it ? How much more shitty could life possibly get ?

The sky wasn’t completely dark. There was enough light to take photos. Photography was his forever safety. He grabbed his camera and took pictures of every beautiful thing he could find. But you were the most beautiful thing of all. Yet he couldn’t obtain you. He could only imagine you both in an alternative universe.

He suddenly remembered all the photos he took of you on this camera when you both hung out. He sighed , “ What am I going to do “.

Jaemin didn’t even realize then , life could get even more shitty than it already was.

four.

A month had passed. All weekend long , Jaemin was restless. At this point , he could say he was officially sleep deprived. His mind was filled with you. Of all things it had to be you , always. But Jaemin knew it was not the same for you. He could see the platonic love you held for him in your eyes.

Jaemin was dreading Monday. School in general felt like a waste of time , but you being there made the petals in his throat grow.

Throughout the weekend he realized how the petals gradually got worse. On Saturday you had asked him to facetime you so he could help you pick out an outfit for dinner with your family. Of course Jaemin agreed but seeing you look so effortlessly beautiful just increased the pain in his chest. But by Sunday it was not as painful. He spent the whole day off of his phone trying to avoid you. But Monday rolled around and he was not prepared. When was he ever ?

“ Jaemin wake up you have school in 30 minutes! “ , his mom yelled across the house. “ I’m getting dressed mom “ , he yelled back. He quickly threw on a simple and comfy outfit. He ran to the kitchen , grabbing a quick breakfast then headed straight to his vehicle to get to school. The whole way there he could feel his phone vibrating with messages which he assumed were from the group chat.

After he arrived at school he took out his phone and read the messages.

y/n 🌺 : hey !! do you guys want to go for boba later this week ??

ducky : yes madam 😏⁉️

markie mark : YES ?? OFC ?? 🙃

He turned off his phone , finding the conversation irrelevant in the moment , and headed to his first class , algebra. Jaemin wasn’t as fond of math as he was of other subjects. It quite frankly frustrated him. He never seemed to guess the answers correctly , though he was thankful to be passing the class ( thanks to Chenle’s help of course ). Jaemin was fond of art. Primarily because photography was incorporated into art and he was able to portray his talent in there. He counted down the class periods he had up until art class. 2. Two more classes left until art.

When English and History had passed , he made his way to the art classroom . During the day , he managed to speak to you and the other guys a little but he seemed off to them. But Jaemin was not the type to give in even if people keep on bothering him with questions, so they gave up. But Renjun was slowly catching on to something. Why would he ever let this odd behavior be unattended to ? This is his best friend after all , but he didn’t want to bother so quickly yet.

Jaemin loved and hate art class in this moment. The pros were that he got to pursue something he loves and be transparently himself. But the main con was , you shared this class together.

“ Hey Jaemin! “ , you said happily. “ Oh hi Y/N “ , he said nervously. You frowned at his sudden awkward behavior but let it go when the teacher walked in.

He could feel a petal threatening to be coughed up but it took all his power stored in his body to shoved it back down.

“ Good after noon class! Today I have assigned you all with a task. This project is due within 2 weeks time. Last month , if you remember , you all took a vote on what your next big project will be based around. The results were photography! I discussed with some of my colleagues that are photographers what would be best to have this project be on. We decided each of you will be assigned a partner. You and your partner will be give a specific theme. This will count as an exam grade , Understood ? “ , she concluded and everyone nodded. Jaemin was beyond happy to be given such a project.

Mrs. Choi , the art teacher , was going around the class calling out who was paired with who and what their theme was. She gradually made her way to you snd Jaemin’s seat , you both so happened to sit right beside each other. How ironic.

“ I have decided to pair you to together for this project. You both seem to work together very well and accomplish tasks extremely well. Your theme is beauty found within each other. I suggest finding a landscape which best suits you both individually as that can help you find what beauty is stored within you. Try your best to portray what you both think is beautiful in each other while incorporating a landscape which suits you both! “ , she said. “ Good luck!”

Funny thing is , Jaemin had already made a mental note a long time ago of every thing about you that was beautiful. He already knew what best suited you. He could name everything about you and tell you how it was so incredible to him.

Could you do the same ? Jaemin had already been aware of the answer to that question since he became aware of his own feelings towards you. His thoughts were so incredibly crowded that the only thing that broke his inner voice was the petals that were about to arise because of the overwhelming feeling of love for you pumping throughout his chest.

“ I’m going to go to the bathroom right quick. “ , he said. You only nodded , watching him rush out of the classroom quickly.

He tried his best to maneuver through the halls as fast as he could without drawing any attention. Luckily , when he reached the bathroom , no one besides him was present. He began throwing up the petals that were grown inside of his chest. He hated this life.

Jaemin had already walked back to the classroom after five minutes. Only a few minutes after arriving to the classroom , the lunch bell had rang.

“ Hey , Jaemin just text me when you are free next week so we start on this project , okay ? I am so excited ! “ , you announced.

Jaemin didn’t go to lunch. Instead he sat in the bathroom waiting for the last bell to ring.

Thursday had came around the corner fast. You had been blowing up his phone with messages for him not to miss the gathering at the local boba shop or he would ‘ get the boot ‘.

Jaemin quickly grabbed his grey hoodie you bought him , how ironic again , and headed out the door.

Upon arriving at the boba shop , he couldn’t help but notice through the clear glass window how you and Jeno were so close , flirting even. His heart ached even more but he pushed it aside and decided to put on a mask and walk in.

“ Oh Jaemin ! You are here , finally. “ , Jeno said hugging Jaemin. “ Yeah sorry I am a little late. My mom needed help with some yard work “ , he said. lie. Jaemin was extremely hesitant about coming. Why would he want to ? It hurt too much , but he did it for you.

One hour had passed and all Jaemin did was here Marks stupid jokes and about how Donghyuck had “ accidentally “ thrown Jisung’s ipad into a wishing well one summer vacation. And oh , let’s not forget you laughing at Jeno’s horrible jokes. They weren’t even that funny , he thought.

And then he saw it. He heard Jeno whisper , “ If you kiss me on the cheek , I will buy you some more boba!! “ , to you , while smiling. And then you had kissed him on the cheek.

It was immature for Jaemin to feel upset , but he justified his emotions by the fact he felt a petal about to come out. He again , like always , motioned that he was going to the bathroom.

And again there was a petal from a pink carnation. How fucking nice. Needless to say , Jaemin got out of there with an excuse before he could near his death more.

He didn’t bother showing up for the weekly Friday movie night. But no one asked questions. He felt alone , yet again. But who could he tell his tragic ending to ? It only felt as if it would make worse of his situation.

About a week passed and it was Wednesday. About this time last week you had arranged for you and Jaemin to meet up and the park at around 4pm for this art project. You both were equally excited , maybe Jaemin even more. He just couldn’t express it.

By the time he arrived , he saw you were already there , playing with the ducks. He took this opportunity to capture a picture of you in this moment. You were so beautiful , he thought.

Once you felt a presence behind you , you turned around but softened your gaze once your recognized it was him.

“ Oh hi! Are you ready to start ? “ , you asked.

“ Oh yeah of course ! While you were playing with the ducks , I took a photo of you. It fits you. Maybe we could use it ? “ , he shyly said.

“ Let me see Nana! “ , you said excitedly. His heart was about to fucking burst. “ Oh okay here “ , he showed his camera your way.

“ It’s so good ? You truly have a way with cameras. Okay now take some more of me over here by the pond! “ , you stated. He aimed his camera at you , clicking the button. You were perfect.

“ Nana let me take some of you! “ , you said , reaching out your hands to grab the camera. “ Okay “ , he replied while walking to a tree and posing. click. You smiled at the photos you had taken while handing him the camera back.

Two hours had passed and he could feel that this was about to come to an end today , just not in the way he had anticipated.

Your phone had started ringing and he could see a certain realization had hit you. You quickly picked it up and hung about after about a minute.

“ Oh that was Jeno. He called me to remind me of our date tonight. I am really excited! But unfortunately I need to head home to get ready. Good night ! Don’t forget to send me those pictures of you for the project ! Bye bye , Love you Nana “ , you said apologizing while waving bye. He couldn’t make out words. He was caught off guard. He zoned out for a second and then realized you were gone.

All these emotions had hit him. He didn’t know how to process. You were going out with Jeno. Not Jaemin , Jeno. Fucking Jeno. Why him ?

Jaemin felt everything crash down. He couldn’t breathe probably. Petals were threatening to come out and he couldn’t help but hide behind a tree in the dark while letting them come out. He was so hopeless. He had no idea how much he had left. Why was the world so cruel to Jaemin ? What had he done to deserve such a fate ? Why suddenly did he have to live on a time limit ? He thought again it couldn’t get worse.

Yet he was always proved wrong at this thought.

Out of nowhere , Renjun appeared and said , “ Jaemin ? Is that you ? Are you okay ? “.

In fact it got worse. He was fucked, big time.

[bisexualdaemon]

Cake

a/n: when tipsy meets twitter, all bets are off

hello! I woke up three days ago like I’d been reborn in my love for this kid, so I wrote this filth 😅 i’ve posted a few times recently about this video but if you haven’t seen it, scroll my blog or search cake lol trust me it’s worth your time. 

(masterlist is linked in my description)

warnings: 3.9k of absolute filth

Movie night had ended hours ago, giving way to sleepy rideshares and drunken footsteps into the second bedroom. Brian was passed out and snoring in the giant armchair across from you. The Top Gun drinking game had gone wrong at around the eighth high five and completely derailed at the sixth “Iceman,” which became a salud of sorts in the room. Beer cans, mango White Claws, and the occasional tequila bottle littered the kitchen island.

“Psst, are you awake?” a toe poked your side from above. Shawn looked down at you with a cocked eyebrow from under his crooked elbow. You’d taken residence behind his legs, resting your head on his hip to watch the movie, bowing out of getting totally trashed. Your lips were still tingly enough to be dangerous.

“Yeah,” you croaked, clearing your throat and stretching, “I’m awake.”

“Are you suuure?” he slurred, tired and tipsy. The smirk was audible, “I thought I felt you drooling through my sweatpants.” His breath came out in a whoosh when you punched him in the abs with your outstretched arm.

“How’s that for awake, fucker?!” He chuckled and caught at your hand, unfisting your fingers and playing with them as he pulled out his phone. You let him. You even opened your hand fully so he could trace little patterns on your palm.

It had been like this for a few months, the flirting, the touching. A drunken night of 20-somethings playing spin the bottle had ended with multiple people clearing their throats with wide eyes as Shawn kissed you.

My God, he had kissed you. Fingers splayed against your neck, his lips gently interlocked with yours. It started out chaste, just two mouths touching, but as soon as he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, it was game over. The people, the voices, your friends, all melted away and it was just the two of you. His top lip between yours. Gentle sucking pressure. His body heat radiating onto your skin. It was everything you never knew you wanted. Until Connor clapped Shawn on the shoulder and ripped him away, turning the two of you into human embarrassed laughing emojis.

Since then, it had been like this. His hand on your lower back at the coffee shop, lazy naps together after midday movies, play fighting and fake indignation after one too many shots at the bar. Your friends all shared sideways looks and snide smirks every time you hung out but you hadn’t crossed any lines again and you definitely hadn’t talked about it. Whatever it was didn’t need conversation. It was fun. It was nothing. He was busy. He was a globally-famous popstar. You were normal. The last thing you wanted was one of those embarrassing tabloid articles, “15 Things You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’s New Fling.” So, in the quiet moments, you let him trace patterns on your palm and send shivers down to your toes.

“Hey, come up here, I’m scrolling Twitter,” he swept his fingers down to your wrist and gave it a tug, a little giddiness in his tone. He made space for you in front of him on the couch, giving you his bicep as a pillow. You settled back against his hard chest and let your legs weave into his. He’s so goddamn warm. It was a mistake wearing jean shorts to his condo. There was a part of you that wondered if he turned the A/C down on purpose but you didn’t want to think about why.

Scrolling Twitter, where Shawn saw the most fan activity, was one of your favorite pastimes. Seeing the reactions to this dude you knew in real life was occasionally shocking, sometimes horrifying, but always amusing. He held the phone out in front of you and thumbed through his feed.

Most of his mentions were about missing him. He’d been on a break since the end of his last tour, taking some time to himself without a schedule for every minute of every day. For a guy who had been taking photos with fans pretty much everyday for the last seven years, you understood why they might be freaking out. He’d broken the pattern. Thank God for that.

You tried to keep your eyes from crossing at the repeated “I miss Shawn @shawnmendes” tweets and the feeling of his alcohol-warmed fingers against your hip. I shouldn’t want this.

“Wait!” you snapped a finger at his phone, “what was that?”

“Oh, that?” he scrolled back, “it’s just an old video.” His voice broke a couple octaves on the last bit. The tweet was accompanied by the wide-eyed blushing emoji. Curious. You raised an eyebrow and watched. He was eating a guitar-shaped cake...with his hands. Mouth wide open, his face buried over and over in thick pieces of chocolate cake with some kind of blue frosting on it. It was fucking filthy. You rubbed your thighs together absent-mindedly.

“What do the comments say?” You poked at his phone before he could move it away.

“Oh, nothing really,” his voice was still high, which meant he knew what the comments likely said. You huffed and grabbed at the phone. “Shawn, you know I have Twitter, I’ll see it whether you like it or not!” You rammed your hips backward, pausing for a second when you felt something you weren’t expecting, but not for too long. He sucked in a breath, coughing, and dropped his phone—right into your waiting hands.

“Hahaha!” You jumped up and ran to the other side of the big white couch, kicking your legs in victory, “I win!” He tripped over his own oversized limbs before he got to you, falling to the floor within reach of your feet. He reached out and pulled your legs toward him, framing his face between your thighs. Your giggles stopped short and your face flamed.

“Can you assholes get a room?!” Brian was awake and fussing at the thin fleece blanket he’d scrounged off the back of the couch. He rolled over mumbling something that sounded like just fucking fuck already but you were too busy thinking about Shawn’s head still between your legs to be bothered by it.

Shawn slowly lifted his finger to his lips in the universal sign to be quiet and untangled himself to stand. He reached out a hand and you didn’t hesitate to grab it, leading you to his bedroom down the hall. You held his phone in a death grip, unwilling to let go in case he caught you off guard.

The room was dark, save for his phone, the rectangle reflecting a solid white off the wall of glass facing the city. The CN Tower lights flickered in the late night sky, seemingly suspended in midair. His unmade  bed was the biggest and brightest thing in the room. A white comforter hung half on the floor at an odd angle off the corner of the mattress, his white sheets completely exposed. The pillows were all scrunched up at the headboard, like he’d been kicking and pushing all night long. Like he hadn’t slept soundly in weeks.

“Okay, so what you’re about to read…” he shut the door behind him, scrubbing at the back of his neck, “it’s gonna be weird, but like it’s fine I’m used to it. They’re...a little invasive.” Weird? Invasive? Curiouser and curiouser…

You walked over to his bed, picking up the comforter and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed, and sat on the edge staring at the video and letting it play a few more times. Then you swiped down.

@canadianmendussy: ALEXA PLAY BIRTHDAY CAKE BY RIHANNAAAAA

@perfectlyru1n: oh my goD does he really go down like thAT?!

“Oh...my God,” you covered your mouth to keep from laughing, “you’ve seen this before?”

He bounced on the mattress facedown, mumbling something into the sheets.

“What was that?” you asked, with Southern sweet tea levels of sugar. You ruffled his hair, brushing through his curls. He turned his head, his face flushed with more than just alcohol.

“I said yes, I’ve seen it before…” he opened one eye and looked up at you, “I usually just ignore them.”

There were over 400 replies on this tweet, some people chiding the horny stans for posting something Shawn can see, others just piling on.

@illuminateruin: is that cake gluten-free?

@kidinlover: @illuminateruin idk but I know pussy is

@particularbenito: CAN HE EAT PUSSY LIKE THAT?!?!?!

“Can he eat pussy like that...” you read out loud under your breath, your mind conjuring up that image of his face between your thighs. Shawn’s head shot up, eyes wide.

“What???” His face was practically magenta at this point, “is that a serious question??”

“What? Uhh, no. Not serious. A reply actually,” you rushed, giving him a sideways look. I mean...maybe it was a serious question? The curiosity was going to kill you. Oh, no. No, no, no. Your lips tingled.

“Well, I mean….can you?” You could hear the glint in your eye.

Fuck it all.

“Can I….w-what?” he stuttered, the air crackling between the two of you. He looked like a cornered animal, like the wrong move would get him killed.

“Can you,” you pushed a loose curl out of his face and nodded toward his phone, “eat pussy like that?”

Oh, God, did I just…?

“I’ve never gotten any complaints,” your head popped up at his self-satisfied tone. Gone was the red-faced shy boy talking about embarrassing fans. The Shawn in front of you was...confident. Hungry. His fingers grazed your ankles resting beside him. It didn’t escape your notice. You shivered.

It wasn’t cold.

“M-maybe they were just too afraid to tell a big, famous rockstar that he sucked,” you were the one stuttering now, face heating by the second.

“Oh, sucking was definitely part of it,” his fingers traced the indent in your calf. You refused to pull away even though you should, even though part of you—a small, shrinking part—knew that if this went where it was definitely going, things were going to change. You snuck a finger under his chin to pull his gaze to yours.

“Is that a promise?”

“I don’t know,” he flashed a toothy smile, gravity and sheer force of will pulling his body toward yours, “is that an invitation?”

I’m probably gonna regret this in the morning.

Your lips crashed into his, giving him your answer. His mouth was hot, his breathing heavy. Tongues and teeth and lips wrestled together, refusing to part while he made his way above you, crawling on hands and knees between your legs as you settled against the pillows. He licked up into your mouth just before nibbling on your bottom lip, forcing a moan from deep inside you. This was primal, the need you felt with him. Like once you came together, nothing could break you apart.

His hands moved up your body, scratching gently at your exposed legs and slipping beneath your hoodie. He broke away from your lips to shuck off your top and expose all your delicate skin. His fingers slipped beneath your lace bralette and he played with the tiny clasp between your breasts.

“Is this okay?” he asked, a little out of breath, his thin t-shirt pressing against your skin.

You nodded so quickly you thought your neck might snap. He popped the clasp and spread his calloused hands across your chest. The friction was glorious. Your body chased his fingers involuntarily, bowing up off the high thread count sheets.

“Be still, baby,” he whispered, dipping his head and placing an open mouthed kiss just above your belly button. Your eyes rolled back at the pet name, another moan escaping your lips. Warmth rushed between your legs.

“Shawn,” you gasped, trying to control your breathing so he didn’t know just how fucked you were, “when I gave you an invitation, I didn’t expect you to be late to the party.” You rocked your hips up into his chest pointedly.

“Well, I can't just jump to the entrée, can I?” He fiddled with the button on your denim shorts, loosening it with a little pop. Teasing, he licked at a freckle just above your hip before sucking at it with enough force to leave a mark.

“Fuck!” Your hands shot down to his mop of curls, fingers buried in the thick locks. He pulled and nibbled at that spot over and over, all while grazing his fingers just beneath the waistband of your simple cotton cheeky panties.

When he pulled away, an angry red violet half-moon colored the skin. He took one last lick, smiling at your gasp in response.

“I love that sound,” he sat back on his heels between your legs, looking down at your heaving chest.

“I’ll make it again if you take that shirt off,” you reached for him with grabby hands, trying to Harry Potter that shit. He laughed and did the boy thing, grabbing his shirt at the back of his neck before tugging it forward off his body.

The gasp came again. Not even on purpose or because you’s promised him, but because he was so stupid gorgeous in the low light of the city you couldn’t help yourself. You’d seen him in hot tubs and at sweaty summer parties and in those fucking Calvin Klein pictures, but none of that compared to having him shirtless between your thighs just a few inches from your outstretched fingers.

His chest was flushed, some combination of adrenaline and alcohol. Little freckles dotted his lightly tanned skin all the way up his torso to the dusting of chest hair that colored his chest. His perfect pink nipples were hard against the cool air of the room, begging for you to touch or kiss or bite. Or all of the above. You reached out to trace his appendix scar where it peaked out of his low-slung sweatpants. His body danced away from you as he caught at your hand.

“Don’t,” he growled, weaving his fingers between yours and pressing his lips onto the back of your palm like a fucking Victorian gentleman. Like he wasn’t staring down at your hardening nipples thinking about how good they would feel pinched warm between his fingers. He tipped forward, bracing himself against the mattress, his mouth just a few centimeters from your skin. Dragging flesh against flesh, he left kisses at random in the valley between your breasts. Moving farther and farther down your body, he paused, sitting up on his heels.

“Are you sure?” He was breathing heavy, looking straight through you, both hands hovering around the edges of your shorts. You were nodding before he even finished his question.

He curled his fingers around all the fabric in his way, denim and cotton both, and dragged the offending pieces of clothing down your legs, lifting them off and tossing them against the wall across the room. You breathed steady, looking at him looking at you. His mouth hung open in speechless wonder.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered, settling back between your thighs, a mirror of his earlier pose on the couch. Another wave of heat rushed straight to your clit, silently screaming for him.

“I know,” you brushed through his curls, giving him a suggestive grin when he looked up at you, “I taste good too.”

That was all the permission he needed. A second later, he buried his face between your legs, nudging your knees over his shoulders. His tongue swirled in circles around your clit finishing in random flicks. He moaned into you, his lips closing around your swollen folds with gently sucking pressure.

“Shit, Shawn!” you shouted, praying to the gods that everyone still in the condo was too drunk and passed out to hear you. The white sheets bunched in your fists, arms spread wide. Your thighs clamped down against his ears.

He continued his licks and flicks, snaking his hands up your legs and gently prying your legs apart. You clenched hard as he pinned your thighs to the mattress, holding you open with his forearms. Filthy sounds echoed off the walls, wet sucking, moaning from both of you. He dipped his chin and circled your entrance with his tongue, lapping at you.

“Christ!” your hands shot into his damp curls. He was working hard down there, flexing and moaning and fighting your spasms. You looked down and saw his hips impatiently rutting into the mattress. It only made you wetter, gushing onto his waiting tongue. He drank everything you gave him.

“He’s not here,” he said in a low and gravelly voice, a little breathless. He pulled back, the bottom half of his face shining in the dark. His fingers toyed with your sensitive, wet lips, watching as you twitched and trembled, so close to the edge. A firm circle around your clit had your back bowing, contorting backward off the bed. A single tear rolled down your temple.

“I’m so close,” you panted, trapping his outstretched hand against your skin.

“Shawn, I need you.”

“Need me?” His fingers paused, “need me where?”

“Oh, God, don’t stop,” you choked out, a sob threatening. Your back arched up off the sheets again to find friction. “I need...I need you inside me.”

At some point between your words and the needy moan that followed, he’d removed his sweatpants and a black pair of Calvins. You heard him rustling his hand inside the bedside table followed by the metallic sound of foil and the sharp scent of latex. Thank fuck he’s prepared.

When he dropped down onto his forearms, hovering an inch from where you needed him, you were dripping onto the sheets, grinding down into the mattress waiting desperately for him. He ran his nose over your collarbone, peppering kisses along your neck. It was slow and deliberate. A fucking tease.

“Shawn,” you pulled his face up to yours, all squished between your hands, “if you don’t fuck me right now, I swear I will…”

He pressed inside to the hilt in one swift motion, cutting off your threat.

“What are you swearing to do, princess?” he asked, a smirk and a fire in his eyes. The moan that escaped you in response was embarrassingly loud. He stilled and closed his eyes, allowing you to adjust. You took even breaths, relaxing into his hips, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. His cock was perfect. He was perfect.

I am so fucked.

He moved, slowly at first, stroking all the right places. When his hips separated from yours, pulling almost all the way out, he rutted back inside. It was deep, long thrusts touching some place inside you weren��t sure you knew was there. Your head thrashed against the pillows. Your grip on his shoulders turned sharp, clawing long red-raw marks into his pale skin.

“I’m not gonna last long,” he hissed into your ear, “fuck, you’re so tight.” His abs scraped against your body like a washboard, the tension clear in his muscles. He was wound up, ready to shatter. He crashed into you, repeatedly slapping skin against skin. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight, slow circles in contrast with the punishing rhythm of his hips. He lifted one of your legs over his hip to change the angle, to make you even tighter around him. A bead of salty-sweet sweat dropped from his chest into your mouth.

“Right...there,” you groaned, your eyes rolling back, “I’m gonna come!”

“That’s right, honey,” he grunted, flattening his fingers across your clit with intense pressure, “come for me.”

The room went white. The sound of your hips colliding was replaced with a high-pitched ring. Your world seemed to implode, your muscles moving independently. He wrapped his arms around your middle and held you as he fucked you through the waves, his weight the only thing keeping you from being swept away in the current.

“Stay here with me,” he cooed, sweet but taut in his throat. Your heart slammed against your ribs in rhythm with his hips. He grunted once, twice, three times with his final thrusts and came undone, pumping into the condom. Biting down on your shoulder to stifle his sounds, he sucked hard enough to leave an angry mark. You contracted around him, both inside and out, curling around his thighs and back and neck, letting the full weight of his completely spent body bring you back to full consciousness.

“Hey,” you fingered his frizzed and fucked curls, “Shawn?”

“Hmm?” he nuzzled into your hands and squeezed you a little tighter.

“You’re crushing me,” you exhaled, strained.

“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry!”

He shifted to his side, accidentally pulling out too quickly, making both of you wince.

“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry,” he was so cute when he was scrambling. He got up and threw out the used condom, quickly returning from the adjoining bathroom with a damp cloth.

“Come here,” he held his arms out, making a perfect you-sized place in front of him. You slid into it easily and let him press the cloth between your legs, wincing again.

“Did I hurt you?” There was so much concern in his voice.

“No, no, I just…” you held onto his arm, glad to be facing away, “I haven’t been fucked like that in awhile.”

“Glad to be of service.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to see his smug smile. Reaching back, you slapped his thigh in retaliation. He caught your hand and kissed it like a Victorian gentleman again, like it made up for his cockiness. You tried to convince yourself that it didn’t, flushing even harder than your just-fucked body should have allowed. He wrapped his arm around your front and intertwined your legs, snuggling his face into the nape of your neck.

“So, uhhh, are we gonna do this again?” he asked, barely concealing the hope in his voice.

“Shhh,” you said, yawning for effect, “we’ll talk about it in the morning. Just sleep.”

He exhaled against your back, placing one last kiss on the mark you were sure he’d left in the midst of his orgasm. You stared out into the Toronto skyline as his breathing evened, his quiet snores barely audible against the screaming voices in your head. As the light crept into the room, as morning dawned on your sleepless night, you repeated his question over and over again.

Are we gonna do this again?

There was an easy answer: yes. Yes, yes, yes, my God, yes you were going to do this again. But there was another, harder question to answer beneath it. If we do this again, will we ever be able to stop?

***

taglist: @justanotherfangurl272  @siennarossi @trustfundshawn @alone-in-madness @harryandmolly @thatindiannerdygirl @fromthicctosticcc @softmendesss @sinplisticshawn @nedthegay @september-lace @itrocksmysocks @disaster-rose @mendesoft @luvluvxx @i-play-video-games @ihearthemcallingforyou @gentleshawn @kitykatnumber @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @ijustreallylikeshawnokay @shhhawnmendes @shawnsblue @imaginashawnns @mendesficsxbombay @shawn-youth @kerwritesthings @starlightsivann @lavenderhoneymndes @begginyouformendes @fallinallincurls @shawn-youth​ @linanilssonfurberg​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @bucky-ish​

(as always let me know if you want on/off the tag list...I realize I don’t post regularly and like half of these people could be out of the fandom lol)

[6ad6ro]

there's a lot of posts about piracy going around rn. so here's mine:

anti-piracy arguments are almost always classist. you shouldn't need to be rich to be happy. we were all born into capitalism. it's not voluntary. many of us don't have parents or other support networks keeping us afloat. poor people still deserve to have nice things. i could care less about keeping a system running smoothly that keeps most people poor and only few people rich.

if you work a shitty, low-paying job, then a simple monthly streaming service fee is YES actually too much to ask. no i don't care if your fav big company loses "potential" money from people who couldn't afford to buy them to begin with.

if there wasn't such a thing as "poverty"? if people could generally AFFORD to go out and easily get the things they want and need? obviously piracy wouldn’t be much of an issue at all. it's always frustrating to hear anti-piracy arguments from people who ignore how CRAZY expensive cost of living has become. again, usually the biggest anti-piracy peeps are either naive rich kids (who have things paid for), rich ppl who STAY rich by keeping things broken like they are, and the poor people they’ve brainwashed into being submissive hosts to their parasitic behavior.

in a world like this, where people are overworked and tired? with very few tangible goals available in their future? people NEED entertainment to stay sane. it's literally a mental health issue. yes, in a way, you NEED that funny show to inspire yourself to keep going. that game you can't afford otherwise? will help you relax after a hard day. don't let some disney mouthpiece tell you shouldn't download lion king if it'd help calm you down, especially when the people running that company could probably afford to have a private zoo in their backyard.

there's ALSO the big issue of control. as companies move further and further into streaming and cloud technologies? ownership has become a huge issue. greedy companies are finding more and more ways to nickel and dime people over long periods of time rather than get a one-time fee. it makes them more money, they don't have to actually GIVE customers anything (copies of data are free to them). and customers are left with nothing to show for it after-the-fact. this means that even though entertainment is being produced way more than the past? i’d argue people have LESS access to the entertainment they want for how much they’re paying. because it’s all temporary.

drm and limited use is becoming a norm. meaning? it's harder and harder for people to "own" their favorite things even if they COULD afford it. your favorite movie might simply cease to exist in 20 years. your favorite game might become nothing but a fragmented memory.

"piracy" solves this. backups. ownership. it takes control away from companies who abused that power. and puts it back in your hands. when nintendo stopped making their back catalogue available? and went around shutting down all the emulation sites? i was thankfully in the clear. because i download and archived many of my favorite things. in many cases i own cartridges of my favorite games already? but those can break, or in my case, get caught in a flood. but due to piracy, i can still play "mario 64" to pull myself away from suicidal thoughts. and i'm not limited by nintendo randomly deciding to remove it from the switch store and take the cartridges off of store shelves? in order to drive up their yearly profit via copycatting the methods used for the "disney vault" scam (look it up).

i am someone who tends to enjoy things from other countries. but it can be INCREDIBLY restrictive to try to go through "official" channels attempting to pay for them. if i want that old, relatively unpopular 80s japanese prog rock album? i'm just stuck. i HAVE to hope someone is sharing it online. but this often applies to new things as well. "licensing" is generally INCREDIBLY stupid, especially when it comes to other regions. do you REALLY want simple licensing issues to stand between you and your potential new favorite anime? and in many cases, the distributors just don't care enough to make the thing available globally. and no, i don't think this should mean we all just "miss out".

one of the biggest issues we are experiencing online at the moment? is one of censorship. governmental censorship, religious censorship, and maybe worst of all? corporate censorship. i'm not talking about "bring back racist imagery" etc (but that DOES play a part). i'm more talking... rewriting history. edits. removal. for example, it shouldn't be left to some corporation to decide whether or not a sex scene in a movie is deemed "too racy" for today's audience. if somebody creates an amazing album, but then commits some awful unrelated act later, that shouldn't mean that album should be made unavailable. in many cases, old media can even TEACH us what NOT to do. we gain nothing by erasing history. and corporations are never doing it to be moral. they're only following required guidelines in order to maximize profit. “fake showings of morality” to keep up appearances and keep all potential buyers buying. piracy can give you the OPTION of access to unedited works, or things that have been removed from circulation.

piracy can negate corporate control and artificial-scarcity. create opportunities for absorbing other culture's art without having to deal with availability issues in your country. it circumvents corporate and governmental censorship. and helps you archive the art that makes your life worth living.

finally... the "but it's stealing and stealing is wrong" argument is invalidated by the fact that, by ANY moral compass? these companies are STEALING from US. constantly. by a LOT. look at the way any big company is run. the way it leeches off of it's customer base. the offshore tax havens... does THAT seem okay to YOU?! if someone went around stealing all the food and locking it up, would you REALLY consider "breaking in" to get some so that u didn't starve as "stealing"? don't pretend that you don't NEED escapism and entertainment to get by. you know that you do.

the only people that piracy COULD hurt? is small, independent artists. who, if you actually listen to them, would rather you send them money directly? or buy merch. etc. because companies usually take SUCH an awful cut that it’s better to find alternate ways of supporting them. if you use reasonable context with what you decide to download and share? it’s fine! like i might buy a depeche mode vinyl or two? or a shirt. or go to a concert. but i’ll pirate that $1000 rare box set. because i just can’t AFFORD that kind of excess. and my income doesn’t dictate how big of a fan i am of their music. as long as you chip in when you can to your favorite creators? it’s actually fine. if i didn’t pirate, i wouldn’t be into 95% of the artists i’m currently into. i’ve spent so much on media that it’s almost embarrassing... my argument might not be entirely black and white? but i can safely say that piracy’s positives GREATLY outweigh it’s negatives. most research done has shown time and time again that it doesn’t really hurt creators. if anything, it’s the way greedy companies REACT to the idea of file sharing that hurts those creators. it really is an argument of big corporations trying to make sure they keep ALL the money. and it has almost nothing to do with art or artist’s rights. so please keep sharing everything. download away. for the sake of your own sanity, and generations down the line. because corporations don’t care about you. they don’t care about artists. and they don’t care about maintaining easy access to the art. they just want money, regardless of the cost to everyone else’s happiness. and if you can afford to PAY for it regularly? you should consider yourself very lucky. so maybe stop shitting all over poor people who unfairly have less access to what you already have. everybody deserves to be happy.

[alishirtsofficial]

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[iwanttomeetdavidbowie]

I am begging you to please info dump about 'people have always been people'

Oooooh man. Oh boy. Oh wow.

It’s happening nerds. It’s happening.

But honestly though, we’ve all seen the major posts that make the rounds here. Like graffiti that we used to think meant something important or powerful. But was really just “I f*cked your mom” or “-insert name- was here” or “this is very high” and that’s my cute “people have always been shit posters” thing. But it really comes down to the fact that people have always wanted to make their mark. People always want to be remembered. People want to talk to each other and reach out. But we always reach out in very similar ways. And when you look at the heart of it we all really interact in very, very similar ways.

My favorite stupid video on the internet is of a group of Arab men in full head cover and everything in a cab, going somewhere inconsequential. And one of them is on the phone talking to a girlfriend/wife/mother. The only reason I know in my heart he’s talking to a woman is because his friends are giggling and moaning in high pitched voices. The more flustered he becomes, the more delighted his friends become. And if anyone can sit there and tell me they’ve never seen a group of guys in their home country do the same thing they’re bold faces lying.

Or how we respond to strays. Or at least strays that we like. I love watching people rescue animals or talk to animals. Or try to get those animals interested in them. There are countless videos of all across the world of just that happening. My Chinese teacher on her hands and knees trying to convince a cat to come out from under a car to her. Even when you look at people from the past. The man who commissioned a painting of his wife with her 30+ favorite cats, or paintings of kings and queens with their favorite hunting dogs. How many pictures do you have saved of your pet or a pet you want on your phone?

Or stupid things in paintings (back to shit posting) like the painting of a medieval market that got ‘restored’ in the 20’s; but when they were working on it again recently they realized that the original had a man literally shitting in a bush, which had been painted over by the 1920’s restore. Some artist actually sat down and painted that. There’s a freaking wall hanging with a dog doing the same thing that they put up in the MET. That took days to make that little section I’m sure.

Kids are the most obvious forms of “people are people” though. Kids are wild little chaos goblins that all act so much alike and have such similar mannerisms and games. I watched a group of kids in China play a game where they were all dogs, and the leader of the group made them eat rice off of a step. At first I was horrified until I remembered eating grass as a kid because we were horses. Or when kids are interested in something they try to watch it as long as they can. Or this one time I watched a little girl try to pet a swan, but it bit her. And even though I couldn’t understand her language I could tell she was saying “and then -sob- I tried to pet it -sob- but it -sob sob- it bit me!” And her mom was just cooing and saying what sounded suspiciously like “I know, I know”

Or the way each generation is fighting for something better than the last generation had. Absolutely convinced that the last generation has no idea what the new one is going through. I used to LOVE listening to /slightly/ older people complain about modern music, I’m talking 40-55 max. And every time I would use my best fake grandma voice and say “you damn kids and your rock and roll music!” And every time they would stop and see what new pattern and role they were taking up.

Or that we’ve always loved making art, because it connects us in a way. We can look at a painting in a museum that’s been around for hundreds or even thousands of years, and we can feel the same way people from then felt. Genghis Khan felt so strongly about ‘the arts’ he would often times kidnap the artists and poets and sculptors and writers from a court he’d just decimated in order to have them in his court.

Or the way mother’s comfort babies. The way every old person has that look when they see a stroller or baby carriage and they’re trying to look at the baby with out getting in their business. Hell. The way random kids just look at strangers from the safety of their adults legs.

Idk I think that’s why Miyazaki films are so relatable. There’s a lot of body language that’s easily recognizable in so many people. But that’s a weird one for another one.

Or people wanting to be helpful.

I have customers come into my niche store every day and tell me how much they used to love to do the thing, and how much they miss it now. I like to tell them why they stopped doing the thing “because then you went to highschool and you were suddenly allowed to go to the movies on your own with the opposite sex and that was way cooler” and every time they stop in wonder because they realize that was the reason.

Or how we mourn the loss of ones we love in as grand a way as we possibly can. From sitting with a shotgun at their headstone to prevent their grave from being moved for a new road, or creating the Taj Mahal as a symbol of your love and devotion. Or the headstones/graves of children where people leave toys for a child they’ve never met, from a time before even their grandparents were born. Or the way we build temples to deities we’ll probably never see. Those things are all over the world, there’s no culture with out an example of this paragraph.

At the end of the day people have always lived, struggled, loved, cried, worked, laughed, and tried to find meaning of their life. I think often times we’re made to think of people of the past as this far off thing that’s so much grander than we are. Like pictures of MLK in black and white, even though there are plenty of colored pictures of him because most cameras were shooting in color. Or when we see pictures of grand ladies in ball gowns, but never think about how badly they were sweating or the funny way they’d have to go to the bathroom Or that story of king Tut and his ducks, I know I still have my baby blanket and my stuffed animals that brought me comfort as a kid.

I’ve reread this like 4 times, and it’s definitely just a rambling mess. I did it on my phone too so… take that for what you will.

[duhragonball]

For the Ask Game: Son Goku

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Goku is the main character in Dragon Ball Z, an anime that I have enjoyed tremendously for over 20 years.  He kicks aliens really fast and hard, and he eats wolves and bugs and clouds, and he’s very cool and good.   

That may sound kind of basic, maybe even borderline sarcastic, but I’m not sure how else to put it.    I’ve gotten so used to liking Goku that it’s hard to articulate why.   

Like, okay, you know that one episode during the Cell Games, where he’s gonna pick apples from his favorite apple tree?   And he does the special karate punch that makes the apples all fall out of the branches without really hurting the tree?    In the dub, he says to the tree “Ready for one more round, old timer?”  Or something like that, and then after he hits it, he’s like “See?  That didn’t hurt a bit.”  I’m not getting the lines right, but you get the idea.    That’s some choice Goku right there.    He’s friends with that tree!   

Why I don’t: hE gAvE mOrO a SeNzU bEaN-- ha ha just kidding, but can you imagine not liking Goku?   Because of something he did in some horseshit fancomic that doesn’t even count?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of guff from people about Goku showing mercy to his enemies.   This is humorous to me, because I’d bet you dollars to donuts that they’re fans of Vegeta and/or Piccolo, and that only happened because Goku decided to have mercy on their stank asses.    “Well I like Vegeta because he kills people.”  He only gets to do that because Goku allowed him to live.    Best Green Dad doesn’t happen without Goku, period, end of sentence, new paragraph.   

I’m not a lore expert like that guy on Twitter who only watched DBZ Abridged, but here’s some cool trivia for you: Cell could have self-destructed and destroyed the Earth at any time.    It literally does not matter that Goku gave Cell a senzu bean before Gohan fought him, because Cell would have done the same thing no matter who beat him or how.     If Gohan had wiped him out quickly, that nucleus would have survived and regenerated, and he would come back even stronger.   The senzu bean just delayed the inevitable outcome, and not even by that much, because Cell wasn’t that worn out in the first place.   The whole thing with the senzu bean was Goku playing headgames with Cell and no one seems to understand that but me.   

But what about Moro, you ask?   Hey, come here.  

Closer.    No, closer.   

Listen to me.   I love you, okay?    But the Dragon Ball Super manga isn’t canon.   Hating Goku over something he did in Super is like hating Superman for something he did in a Mad Magazine bit.      

“Blargle blargle he doesn’t kiss his wife bad father, tournament of power--” I super mega don’t care about any of these ice cold takes.      Every day I go on YouTube and it recommends me the dirt worst Star Wars commentary videos.   “Maybe the SITH were actually the GOOD GUYS and the JEDI were the BAD GUYS!  Huh?  Did I just BLOW your MIND?   Be sure to like and subscribe!”  Every dope with a keyboard seems to think they can flip the script and pretend they’re some kind of genius.    “Thanos was right!”  “Magneto was right!” “Dr. Doom was right!” “Antifa are the real fascists when you stop and think about it!”  “Masks and vaccines are bullshit, COVID-19 is a hoax, but if it were real, maybe it’s the good guy in this situation!”

I didn’t mean to go off on a rant here, but the whole point of Goku is that he’s a pretty cool guy, and the hero of his particular adventure, and you see all these people trying to outsmart that somehow, like it’s not the premise of the character.   It’s like all those fan theories about how every show is really one character having a coma dream in the hospital.    It’s fake-deep, like when Will Smith’s kid goes on the internet and says something like “Water isn’t wet when you stop and think about it.”  

I’m not saying everyone has to like Goku, but I don’t get the hate-boner people have for him.    I don’t like cole slaw, it’s soggy and insipid and I don’t understand it, but I don’t go around trying to convince people it’s not made out of cabbage.  

Anyway, Goku’s awesome. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s hard to choose, but DBZ #248 always fucks me up.   I looked it up in my liveblog archive to get the episode number right, and the first line of that post: This one always fucks me up.

Moving on.

Favorite season/movie: In Dragon Ball terms, I guess this refers to the sagas, so I’ll go with Cell Games.    Goku goes into the battle with this flawed, touch-and-go plan, and it works.    He defeats perfection with imperfection, and it’s glorious.  

Favorite line: “What I represent can never be destroyed,” is one of the most metal lines ever uttered, anywhere.   It’s a threat and a moral lesson all in one.   

Favorite outfit: Two answers for this one.  

Shu’s outfit in the Fortuneteller Baba Saga was awesome.    I used to wear yellow T-shirts to work, so when I put on my blue labcoat I would see myself in the restroom mirror and think: yeaaaaahhhhhh.

I’m also big into Goku’s look during the Cell Games, classic orange outfit, blue shirt, with the Super Saiyan form ready to go.    That may sound obvious, since this is kind of Goku’s default look, but it takes a while to get all of this together.  For me, it was a big deal to see Goku in action as a Super Saiyan in his standard fighting gear, because the whole time he was SSJ on Namek his shirt was ruined.   Against Gero and 19 he was sick, but starting with the Cell Games, we get him fresh as a daisy, and it’s worth the wait.   Harder to stealth cosplay, though.

OTP: Gochi.   Come on.    I don’t even care that much about ships, but they’re adorable on the show, and the internet backlash against Gochi only intensifies my defiance.   

Brotp: I wrote a fanfic with Goku and Yamcha just joyriding in the desert, and that seemed pretty awesome, so maybe we need more of that.   

I dunno, maybe I’m giving this to Bulma.   They don’t get a ton of screen time together after a certain point in the show, but the bond between them is this really sublime thing.    In the same fanfic, I wrote Bulma and Goku interacting, and that was just a pleasure to write.

Head Canon: I think Goku being an alien orphan matters more to him than he lets on.   Early on, he knew he had parents but he didn’t know why they left him in the woods.   Pretty much every interaction he has with the outside world is about him being different.   Then he finds out he’s a Saiyan and all the Saiyans hate him for being weak and sentimental and so on.   He can kick all their asses, but that doesn’t make him any less of an outcast.   

I think becoming a Super Saiyan is a bigger deal to him than he lets on.   That moment kind of serves as this unspoken proof that there’s more to being a “true” Saiyan than Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz ever knew.   That maybe, if his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granny could see him, she might approve.

Unpopular opinion:

Yukio Ebisawa is underrated. 

A wish: I always wanted to see Goku style on Broly ‘93.   It seemed unfair to me that they kept bringing Broly back, and even teased a rematch with Goku in Movie 11, only to not deliver on it.    I wanted Goku to turn Super Saiyan 2 and Broly’d be all “oh noes!” and Goku would look at him and be all “Yeah.   What now, bitch?    That green shit won’t cut it anymore.”

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I think my darkest fear about the Dragon Ball franchise is that it’ll get bastardized like Superman, where some giant multimedia corporation owns it, has no idea how to tell new stories with it, and refuses to let it lapse into the public domain.   I have no idea how public domain works in Japan, but “Disney Toei’s Dragon Ball KH” doesn’t sit well with me.    Hopefully I’ll be dead by the time that happens.  

Like, Rise of Skywalker wasn’t that bad.   But it did lead me to worry that they really have no idea how to make Star Wars work.    They got it right enough, but the part where Rose is going to stay and guard the base or whatever, it just made me realize they’re only guessing, and they just happen to guess right often enough to succeed.   And it’s not like you can jump over to some other studio and see how they handle a Star Wars movie.

5 words to best describe them: Ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

My nickname for them: Geeko.    Ha ha, just kidding.  

[immxrtalbi]

10 Semi-long: Hedric Fic Recs

Please make sure to read the tags when you click the stories cause some may be MCD. I’m simply putting my feedback on them. Also comment and give love to these stories!!

~~~~~~

-happiness looks good on you- by Starfrost (8k, G)

Harry decides to move to an apartment with Cedric Diggory, and fluff ensues

Aka, the College Students AU Nobody asked for-

This was cute! Roommates in love and so much fluff with a hint of angst. So domestic and sweet <3

(honey) there is no right way by Sincere_Lies (25k, G)

‘Have you tried everything?’ Hermione asked insistently.

‘Yes! Every time I get to the cup and Cedric doesn’t take it with me I go immediately back to my bed in the morning. But all the times he is with me, he dies and after I fall asleep I return too.’

‘I guess it is obvious then, isn’t it?’ Both Harry and Hermione turned to stare at Ron, who looked at them defensively and shrugged ‘You have to go with Diggory and make sure he survives.’

Harry/Cedric - Groundhog day AU

This fucking story messed with my heart and made me love it because this is what we need to imagine Cedric being saved by the boy who lived. 100/10 I love this fic so much! Kinda long but wanted to put it since I saw fanart of this

Celebrations by JayColin (12k, E)

Cedric survived the graveyard and began dating Harry shortly thereafter. It is now 12 years later, Voldemort is dead, Harry and Cedric are happily married, teaching at Hogwarts and all is right with the world. Join them as they celebrate Cedric's 29th birthday.

Domestic goodness in here! Cedric lives of course. Harry remembering the graveyard scene is always heartbreaking. Everyone lives and is happy basically.

Awakening by Nahara (8k, T)

Everything has changed since Cedric was cursed into a coma. It's been eight years since Cedric last opened his eyes and now he must get used to what he sees.

This was an incredible read guys!! Cedric has been in a coma and the only person still in his life, and visits him, is Harry. It’s cute and refreshing to read. 101/10 Seriously read if you want a light angst fluff story!

Fake Boyfriend by andx06s (13k, M)

Harry and Cedric start a fake relationship (with a contract) after their respective break-ups to prank the whole school. What they didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush.

Fake dating AU. What more can you want? Bonus falling in love with each other. Really cute. And lots of steamy stuff in there. Lovely read!

Lesson Learned by elceri (8k, M)

Harry unexpectedly spends some time with Cedric before the Third Task, and learns a few lessons about life and love.

"We can't do this... you're too... too..." Cedric panted, suddenly pulling away and looking incredibly conflicted. Harry probably would have admired his integrity on any other occasion, but his hormones were beginning to get the better of him.

"Too what?" Harry challenged, furrowing his brows and looking up at Cedric, his body screaming in protest at having the pressure of Cedric's thigh removed from his groin. "Too young? Too straight? Too Harry Potter? The Tri-Wizard Cup seems to think I'm old enough to be in this tournament," Harry replied, inwardly shocked at the absurdity of his reasoning and the insistency in his voice as he urged Cedric closer again. "I think I'm old enough for this."

This story was the most realistic sex I’ve ever seen/read. Everything screamed awkward and confusion for a first time. Great fic!! It’s rare to see stuff like this; the soft and unsure side of a relationship, but still figuring things out. 20/10!

Spare Dreams by lesbijkas (8k, T)

Harry had basically hit gold and if they turned out to be school sweethearts like his parents (and Cedric’s parents apparently) well, that made everything easier. He could see them having a future with one another. They’d move in together after Harry was finished with Hogwarts. They’d eventually get a house, get married, adopt a kid or two. Maybe another owl to keep Hedwig company. It would be nice. Calm. Peaceful.

It would be perfect.

Okay i got confused reading in the beginning because I thought they were flashbacks, but it was harry’s imagination of the future. what he wanted. which hurts. Story was a ride from beginning to end! My heart was happy at the cute moments then got crushed in the end :’)

Paranoia and Puns by You_Light_The_Sky (12k, T)

Harry makes three rules to survive fourth year: 1) watch the new DADA professor like a hawk, 2) suspect all animals of being animagi, and 3) avoid Cedric Diggory at all costs. Shame Diggory didn't get the memo.

One of my favorite hedric fics! this is what Harry should’ve done from the start: by being paranoid and keeping an eye on everything! And Cedric having a crush on harry and flirting with awful puns is something I didn’t know I needed but wanted <3 can read this over and over and never have enough

Why He Said Yes by nagi_schwarz (7k, T)

Original request was: "Harry discovers that his fellow Champion is actually a neurotic ball of insecurities." 

I enjoyed seeing a different side of Cedric where he’s unsure and insecure throughout the story, and with his crush on Harry. It’s adorable! And I can totally see it. and the amount of fluff <3 <3

playing pretend by aaronminyxrd (8k, G)

If there was one thing Cedric Diggory was good at, it was pretending. Ever-reliable, he was whatever he was needed to be. But perhaps a few friends, and a certain Harry Potter, can help him face the truths about himself he had long since repressed.

This is Cedric Diggory as we deserved to have known him.

This story was interesting. I liked that it was Cedric’s POV, although I got a bit confused in the middle with Harry and Cedric saying one thing but were actually conveying another meaning. Overall, I loved the character study from Cedric! He got more character and was feeling insecure all his life until he got real friends. Ending broke me but it was done real well.

[ghoulciifer]

submission:

@joonzreina: “hi tum, how are you?!. i wanna congratulate you on your 100 milestone!. keep up the good work!. if you don’t mind, may i please request a matchup with the hq boys only please?. i am she/her, straight, latina, and 5”0. i have light brown eyes, long dark curly brown hair, and curly bangs. my personality is described as wild, crazy, hilarious, hot tempered, blunt, sarcastic, brave, loyal, and kindhearted. i only have a 3 best friends that are like family to me. i will stand up for myself and them no matter what!. i’m a leader too. my hobbies consists of me watching anime, kdramas,/netflix, sleeping, eating, reading manga,webtoons, and astrology. i am a huge believer in astrology!. i love listening to rap/rnb and kpop!. i’m a very affectionate person too and who isn’t afraid of skinship. i would kiss my man on the lips all the time!. what i look for in a man is for him to respect me, who loves affection/skinship, tall, sweet, caring, funny, understanding, protect me, loves affection, and who will always be there with me through thick and thin. my aesthetic would be baddie vibes, like dark red colors, black, sexy colors, light pink, and just i don’t give a fuck vibes/bad bitch energy!. i’m 20 years old old so NSFW would be good to put!. my favorite color is pink and neon green!. thank you so so much tum, you’re such a sweetheart!. i hope you have a wonderful night!. take care hun!. i can’t wait to see what content you post!”

notes: firstly, thank you so much for your kind words, sweetpea 🥺 i love seeing your url in my notifs, your support means the world to me! i really hope you approve of this matchup, because much like the last one, bo was the first person i thought of after reading what you sent. thanks again for your sweet self and i hope to see you more ❥ drabble under the cut because it does include NSFW content!

why i matched you:

» i might be completely biased when saying this, but bokuto is literally the whole package when it comes to relationships. he will always be there for you, will always protect you, will love you unconditionally, etc. like there is not a single thing he wouldn’t do for you once you have him wrapped around your little finger. 

» bokuto loves how passionate you are about your friends/family because he feels the same way about his loved ones. he knows you’d do anything for them, and finds it incredibly admirable that you’re willing to go through extreme lengths to protect them. he values loyalty a whole lot, so you’re a perfect partner for him in that aspect!

» your confidence and bravery are definitely somethings that attract him the most to you. we all know he’s got his lil’ “emo” moments, because in reality he does have the tendency to doubt himself and his abilities when faced with certain challenges he doesn’t know he’s ready for. but you’re always there to help him see how he is capable of facing those challenges! your own self confidence really pushes him to be the best he can possibly be, and he really idolizes you for that. even if there are times where you actually end up being the one to struggle, he’ll never fail to remind you how proud of you he is and how much he looks up to you!

» affectionate? bokuto’s got you covered. man LOVES having near constant skin-on-skin contact with you. whether it’s a hand wrapped around your waist/shoulders, fingers interlocked with his, or even resting his chin on your head, he’s gonna take advantage of any chance he gets to hold you. his favorite thing to do is come up behind you when you least expect it to wrap his arms around you, bury his nose in the crook of your neck, and whisper how much he missed you/loves you against your skin. the action never fails to make you smile.

» bokuto absolutely ADORES your aesthetic, he’s constantly in a state of “how can someone be so adorable yet so hot at the same time?”. because it’s true! your bad bitch persona really meshes well with your sweet n’ kind personality, and it definitely threw him for a loop at first. but now? baby he praises you CONSTANTLY. there’s not a day that goes by where he isn’t complimenting what you’re wearing, how your hair looks, how sharp your eyeliner is, etc. like he is your personal hypeman. and you DESERVE it.

» bokuto is really the kinda guy to keep you on your toes, but that’s just part of his appeal. there’s never a dull moment with him and he loves seeing you smile or giggle because of his antics. you really just make his heart melt like a marshmallow over a campfire with everything you do so he wants to make sure he’s enough for you with everything he does. he’s gonna give you his all no matter what - so make sure you’re prepared for that kinda commitment, because this boy will want to put a ring on your finger someday!

drabble:

“Kou, c’mon, I’m trying to finish this chapter!” You whine halfheartedly to your absolute brick wall of a boyfriend, who is currently laying open mouthed kisses at the space just between your neck and collarbone. Your attempts at pushing him away are futile, and you begin to wonder if he has always been this dense. Bokuto only chuckles at the gentle gasp you emit once his tongue pokes out to lave at your soft skin. Of course he would take advantage of your distraction with his muscular hold. 

“Baby you’ve been saying that for the past half hour.” He shifts on the sofa to rest between your open legs, elbows perched on either side of you, thumbs doing god’s work at rubbing circles against your hips. You’d be lying if you said what he was doing wasn’t enticing, but…

“I-It’s just a long chapter, I can’t help it! Seriously, I only have a few more panels left.” Your bottom lip juts out into a pout, eyes wide in pleading. As antsy as Bokuto was to cover your entire body with his kisses, he can never say no to your sweet, sullen face. How could he? It always turns him into putty in your hands without fail. With a (fake) groan, he plants his cheek back against the surface between your breasts, arms looping around your frame just as they did before he started teasing you. That’s when an idea springs to the forefront of his mind. Oh, he’ll let you finish that chapter alright. 

“Fine,” He huffs, turning his head so his chin is resting on your chest. His eyes burn into yours with a playful glint and an equally playful smirk plastered to his features, “you have 1 minute.”

“What?”

“Starting…” Bokuto’s grin grows impossibly wider, tongue peeking behind his pearly whites, “now.” And with that his skillful hands snake their way under your sweatshirt to feel as much of you as possible. Bokuto thanks his lucky stars that you opted out of wearing a bra today, making it much easier for him to trace his digits over your peaking nipples, calloused thumbs rolling sensually over each pebble. Your sharp intake of breath only spurs him on further - and your weak, breathy whimper encourages him to follow suit with his tongue trailing up your stomach, nimble fingers sliding the hem of your jumper upward to expose more of your heated skin to his merciless lips. 

Suddenly the comic on your phone screen has no room for your attention as Bokuto’s ministrations demand all focus to his sinful lips, eliciting another mewl from your agape mouth. You quickly lock your screen and let your head fall back into the cushions once his tongue finally reaches your sensitive tits. The feeling only intensifies when he lets out another heated laugh in response, relishing in the way your back arches into him. 

“Heh, that’s what I thought, baby.”

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

[country-club]

Games #3

#1 / #2

*gif not mine* Warnings: mentions of puke and embarassment Wordcount: 1.959

> Remember Rafe owing you a tour?

Yesterday you hung out with Sarah and her friends. It was fun, though you were left with a headache. Thanks to JJ. The day went by rather quickly and around 8pm you called your friends to play a game of skribbl, an online drawing game. They updated you on what’s going on at home and your ‘ex’. Were you technically dating? You can’t say for sure. But it felt like you did. He quit talking to you a week before you left. In return, you told your friends about your newly made friends and Rafe. Do you like him? It’s too early to say. Is he cute? Yes. Picture? Haven’t got one. How old is he? He looks 18/19. Does he have any cute friends? Well, there’s Topper.

“Oooh, I can be his bottom!” One of your friends cheered.

“I’ll let him know, hon.” You replied.

“Yall I’m beating your asses. Do you want to play or talk about y/n’s boyhunt?” One of the guys asks. You finished the game and continued talking. One of your friends sent you a link over chat.

“Is this him, y/n?” She asks. You clicked it and found Rafe’s Instagram page. It only had a few pictures, the latest being one of him, Topper and another boy, tagged as Kelce.

“Yep, that’s him.” You scrolled through his pictures. Sarah had commented on one of his pictures. You tapped her name and looked through her feed as well. Not much here either. What about the other Pogues? Kiara was the only one you could find. The boys probably didn’t care much about social media. Kiara had some photos of baby turtles on the beach, a few of her looking stunning in every outfit she wore and 2 pictures with the boys. You sent the pictures to your friends.

“Ok, so Kiara is the girl, the boy on her left is John B, the one behind her is Pope and the blonde one is JJ.”

“Y/n, you have been blessed, you know that?”

“Are all the boys in Outer Banks this attractive?” Your friends asked. You nodded.

“Most of them are.”

“So, will you leave any for us?”

“I think John B and Sarah are dating, and Pope looked like he has a thing for Kiara. But I’ll introduce you for sure.”

“What’s JJ short for?”

“Yeah, and why is it John B? How many John’s can there be on an island?” You weren’t sure. You discussed possible names and theories. It was about 11pm when you said goodbye and hung up.

You walked downstairs to stretch your legs, debating whether or not you should go for a walk. Hmm, yes. You grabbed a hoodie, put on some sneakers and out you went. Putting on some music and shuffling through your playlist. The sky was clear, and you could see the moon and stars above you. Your guilty pleasure started playing and you almost bumped into a lamppost, trying not to make dance moves whilst walking. You walked past Sarah’s house and got caught in the headlights of a car on their driveway. You almost had a heart attack. Taking out the earpiece your shyly waved at whoever was inside. They turned the lights off. You saw a tall figure getting out of the car. Rafe.

“Hey, y/n. What are you doing out?”

“Hey, Rafe. What are you doing alone inside your car, on the driveway, at 11:30 at night?”

“I asked you first.” He said playfully.

“Just taking a walk.”

“I was about to head over to Kelce.” Kelce was the guy from his Instagram picture.

“Was?” Rafe laughed. You walked closer to him, so you could actually see his face and stop talking loudly outside.

“Didn’t think I would run into you.” What did he mean by that? Is he not going to go to Kelce because of you or does he-. Your thoughts were interrupted by Rafe’s voice. He must have noticed your confusion. “I believe I promised you a tour.” It took you a second to realize what he was talking about. You had asked him to show you around Outer Banks yesterday.

“Right, you owed me one.” Rafe nodded to his car and opened the door for you. You got in and pulled the door close. Rafe got in behind the wheel. He looked extremely good tonight. His hair wasn’t as slicked back as usual. It made him look softer. It wasn’t hot at all outside, yet he was still wearing shorts. What is it with boys and shorts even though it’s cold?

The two of you drove around Figure 8 for a while and continued on The Cut. Rafe didn’t talk much, so it was up to you. “Do you want to play 20 questions?” Rafe looked over to you.

“Only if we can take turns.” He said. Alright now you just had to think of a question. You still wanted to know what happened two nights ago. Who he had fought and why. It’s too forward.

“What was your favorite dinosaur as a child?” Rafe didn’t have to think about it.

“Triceratops.” He said.

“Still is, am I right?” You didn’t really ask. They are simply the best. Rafe took his time to come up with a question.

“Alright, if you could find out how you were going to die, would you want to know?” Well goodbye dinosaur talk.

“I don’t think I would. No matter how much I hate surprises, I’d rather not be scared of cars or bathrooms for the rest of my life, you know?”

“Why would you be scared of bathrooms?”

“I don’t know I once read that a ton of people have died in bathrooms. It’s where a lot of accidents happen you know.” He looked at you, a bit confused, amused and impressed.

“If you could go back in time to change something, what would it be?” Rafe sighed.

“Not using my dad’s money to buy a bike.” You wanted to ask more questions, but he wouldn’t let you. “I don’t want to talk about that.” Rafe added. He stopped the car. “Can I show the around the boneyard?” This is starting to sound like The Lion King. Elephant graveyard? You opened the car door and got outside, as did Rafe. Rafe locked the car and led you to the beach. There were tree trucks and branches around the beach. It does kind of look like a boneyard.

“What do you think is the ugliest animal in the world?” Rafe asked. Right 20 questions. Truth or dare, without the dare part. You had to think for a minute. What is the ugliest animal?

“Those birds from the Jungle Book. They scream so loud.”

“Vultures?” Yep those, you nodded. You were walking on the boneyard and couldn’t see much. You tried to be careful enough to not trip and make yourself look like a fool. The stars were still very pretty. You could see the Little Bear, it kind of looks like a saucepan. And there you go. Your foot got stuck on a tree branch. However, before you could hit the ground you could feel two arms holding you up. You stood up straight again.

“You alright?” He asked. To which you nodded.

“Yeah, just got distracted for a second. Can we sit down for a minute?” You asked. Rafe dusted away some sand off a trunk and sat down. You sat down next to him. “What is something you wish you were better at?”

Rafe looked up at the night sky. “Making my dad proud.” Why wouldn’t Ward be proud of him? “I just feel like sometimes I can’t do anything right, you know?” You nodded. Was this his soft spot, his dad? You didn’t ask any further questions, seeing as you barely knew him and the subject sounds personal. You looked up again as well. Seeing his face turning your way in the corner of your eye. You could feel his eyes on you. The moonlight was bright enough for him to see your features.

“Is there any memory you would like to erase from your mind?” You couldn’t help but laugh nervously and feel embarrassed already. “What’s so funny?” You looked at him and your eyes met. His blonde hair was getting slightly pushed around by the wind.

“What I’m about to tell you. Promise to keep it between us?” He promised. “Okay, so before moving to Outer Banks I had a boyfriend situation going on. And we were at my place after a party, where he had maybe a drink or two too many.” You sighed, feeling the redness on your face appear. “And we were about to..you know. But he couldn’t, because of the alcohol and then he threw up in my bed.” Rafe tried his best not to burst out in laughter, instead he put an arm around you. “He left after that. So, there I was, cleaning my barf-covered bed and desperately spraying deodorant through my room. We haven’t talked since and I’m not counting on it anymore either.” Rafe started rubbing your back.

“That really sucks man, I’m sorry that happened.” Did he just call you ‘man’? “It wasn’t supposed to be your first time, right?” You must look like a tomato right now.

“I believe it is my turn.” You switched the conversation. “What was your first crush like?” When the word left your mouth you felt like a 12 year old again. Rafe blew out some air.

“I think it was the babysitter we had as kids. She was really sweet and artsy, and stuff. Also really pretty, like you.” You couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I invited her into my pillow fort to eat Cheez-its with me.”

“And?”

“She friendly declined my offer.” You burst out in laughing. “Hey, I didn’t laugh at your story.” He angrily joked, punching your arm.

“Mine was worse.”

“True.”

You softly punched him back. “Hey!” Rafe fake moaned, pretending you had hurt him.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Kiss to make it better?” Rafe pouted and nodded to you. As you were debating whether or not to kiss his arm, your phone started vibrating. It was your stepdad. “Shit.” It was already 12:30. He must’ve realized you weren’t home and you didn’t leave a note.

“What’s up?”

“It’s my stepdad, I really have to go home like right now.” You mumbled as you got up and started heading to the car.

“You gonna get into trouble?” He sounded the tiniest bit worried. Maybe you would. You had been staying out late the past three days and didn’t pick up the phone when your stepdad called. As Rafe pulled up a couple of houses before yours, you thanked him and got out. “I should walk with you, so your dad knows you weren’t out alone.” That somehow makes sense. He got out of the car as well and you speed walked to the front door. You unlocked it and walked inside. As if shot for a horror movie, your stepdad put on the living room lights.

“Y/n? Where have you been and why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Steve, I’m sorry if I made you worry. I was taking a walk and bumped into Rafe, Ward Cameron’s son-“

“I remember who Rafe is. So, he just left you to walk home on your own? Do you know what time-”

This time it was Rafe who cut your stepfather short. He had waited outside and stepped in. “I would never let y/n walk alone, sir.” Your stepdad nodded.

“Bedtime, y/n. Goodnight Rafe.”

“Goodnight.” You gave Rafe a hug, to which he wrapped his arms around your middle.

“Goodnight, y/n.”

You walked up the stairs and called it a day.

#4

~Taglist~

@emmalvei-blog​

[blackypanther9]

Part 17 - New...

Your POV....

I lived in Freiberg for 2 months. After that I traveled around a little. I saw almost everything of Germany. I like it there. I can speak the language too and I had money. Much. I ended up in Merseburg in Saxony - Anhalt. It was cool and I never wanted to move away again. I had a flat and was happy. But I was also in Haiti...actually right after I left Freiberg. I found a cave and a friend. He was some kind of sorcerer and blocked the only way in and out, with a symbol... I will explain to you now what happened...

Thanos will find me, if walk around in the open. I knew that. I can be safe 4 months, then I need to hide good. I was invisible in Asgard and Jotunheim for some reason. I was safe. This cave...was the best hiding spot.

The sorcerer assured me of that. He even made a marking on the stone, which blocked the entrance and escape. It had the helmet of Loki on it, but nobody can see that symbol. It's Magic. Just if I want to be found, it shows up. I love Magic.

Anyway. Then I said again, that I was in Merseburg. I was. Here is the tricky thing... I am still in the cave, but also on another place. I will never leave the cave, ever. I can transform, thanks to meditation, my soul into a body of another being. I knew someone from here, she sadly died long ago. I talked once with her about these problems, and she said, if she dies...I can use her body as my host... I know it sounds cruel and all, that I use her body now...but I don't have other options. My old and actual looks are too fucking obvious, I had to do it. My soul is in that body of my dead friend and my real body meditates and is in a freezer. My old body doesn't need to rot away. In the freezer and in my Jotun Form, I would need thousands of years to have one rotting spot. I am safe. Just so you know. That also means I look very different...well actually not....

My hair is more short, like hair of a boy...The vertex was more left than in the middle. So the hair was right, the front, longer and more oblique than left... It was black (Or your favorite colour !), the skin had more color (Or less color !) and the voice was a little, A LITTLE different. Not completely different, just a little higher, but the difference was almost not to hear... The rest was looking like me. Same high, wight, eyecolor and the clothes I wear so dearly... did fit on this body too. I bought a TON of Midgardian clothes, faked my papers and acted like everyone else here to fit in this Realm. Well... 1 year and 6 months had passed... And there was still no sight of Loki... He probably died. I gave up hoping, of his return. He is probably dead now... But I didn't want to go back to Asgard too. After 6 more months passed... I was about to pack, one night, my things up. I think it was 2 weeks after the celebration of the second year here. I did not want to return to Asgard again, but I had to. Loki is dead. The others argued with me in my head, but I made up my mind and was ready to go. Suddenly the doorbell rang at my door...

"Coming ! Just a second !", I called.

I closed my bag and then I ran to the door. I looked through the spy and saw a weird man on my door. Then I remembered who he is ! He is in the TV ! I learned fast how to use what, believe me... I was a fast learner. Once showed, forever in mind. Ha ! That guy on my door was the playboy Tony Stark. What was he doing here ? I slowly opened the door and looked at him confused.

"With what do I have the honor to have you on my door, Sir Stark ?"

He turned to me and smiled a little.

"Hello. You are Lucie Anster...right ?", he asked.

"Yes. That's me...Why ?"

I really had this fake idendity...

"S.H.I.E.L.D. is offering you a job with us. You are good at chemistry and electrics...right ?", he asked me.

"Yes...?"

I am honest...I lived in another Universe on Earth...pretty often and well....I can a lot....I am a devilish genius ... at least most of the time...

"Well...you can fight ?", he asked me.

I looked around a little nervous. I opened the door a little more and gestured for him to come in.

"Please come in...I don't think anyone needs to know about what we talk here..."

He nodded and stepped inside the house.

"Thank you.", he said.

"No problem... Follow me, I will bring you to the living room."

We arrived at the living room and I went in the kitchen.

"Take a seat on the sofa. Do you want some coffee or water ?", I asked him.

"A cup of coffee doesn't sound bad... Thank you."

I made myself a cup of tea and Tony a cup of coffee. I took the milk and sugar out of the shelves and brought them to the table in the living room. After that, I brought his coffee and my tea inside. I placed the coffee infront of him on the table and then went around the sofa to sit on one of my chairs and placed my cup of tea infront of me on the table.

"Thank you again, Lucie.", he said.

"No problem...", I answered, while I put a few pieces sugar in my tea.

After 5 minutes of silence, I broke it.

"So...about what else do you ask me ? Yes I can fight. Yes I am a genius in chemistry and electrics, at least most of the times. Why is it so important that you know that ? Not to be rude..."

"It wasn't rude. I understand it. I need to know also if you are good in mythology..."

"Well....about some things I know much things, but not about everything in myth..."

He nodded. He slowly took a sip of his coffee, he stared at me surprised after he took a sip of it. He put the cup down.

"Wow... This coffee tastes really good ! Better then my own ! What is your secret ?", he said amazed.

"I won't tell."

He sighed and looked down.

"Damn..."

"Maybe I will tell you sometime.", I winked at him.

"Cool !"

"So...back to business... Why do you ask all this ?"

"Well...we met two strange guys...from As....As....Ard ?"

"......Asgard....?"

"Yes ! That's it ! Well since two days...someone stole the Tesseract, kidnapped Clint Barton and a few scientists..., killed in these 2 days 80 people and has a weird Scepter...."

I looked at him in shock and confusion.

"The one who killed and all, calls himself....Loki.... and someone called Thor was after this guy too and the Tesseract...."

"Wow...."

"Do you ever heard of these two ? In myth I mean."

"I did. Quiet a lot..."

"Do you mind helping us with this case ?"

"Do you have any papers or something about Loki ?"

He nodded and shoved to me a fact file. I opened it and saw a picture of Loki. I closed it quickly again and gave it back to him.

"I pack my things and we can go !"

"You accept ? What do you want in return ?"

"Nothing. For now at least."

"So...That guy is really Loki ? The God of Mischief and Lies ?"

"100%. It is the Loki."

He nodded again and I ran into my room, packed the rest of my things and then I ran back. With all my things. I just had one problem...I had a cat...A real one, named Luna... He saw her and me with worry in my eyes.

"I guess animals can't be taken there ?", I asked.

"Oh... If it is a good cat...it can come too."

I smiled at him.

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it....But I can pet it sometimes, right ?"

"If it isn't too scared of you...Why not ?"

She meowed at me and I calmed her a little.

"How do we get there, Mister Stark ?"

"Call me just Tony. We take my jet and fly there.", he answered.

"Cool."

"Yup."

We went outside and he took from me some bags and put them in the luggage space. I took my cat with me on the seat and stroked her the whole flight. She didn't lose hair. Her hair was always on her and no matter what you tried...it doesn't get off of her body.

Tony was amazed, as I told him that and he quickly came behind my secret...I experimented on something like that...I had some little mice and tried it out. Until I did it right. I gave my cat a little of that into her food and since then, she doesn't lose hair anymore. 20 minutes later we arrived there and Tony told me, that they had captured Loki and he was in a glass - kind - prison.

Why would he start havoc ? What had Thanos done to him ? This bastard ! We immediately went into the office of the Director...Fury, Tony said, was his name. After we arrived there I saw Thor immediately. I clenched my fists.

"- He is my brother."

"He killed 80 people in 2 days.", the red haired woman said...Natasha....or better Black Widow....

Thor hesitated.

"He is adopted."

"Director Fury... I brought Miss Lucie Anster. She accepted the job almost immediately.", Tony interrupted.

Someone with blond hair stood up and streched out his hand for me to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, my name is Steve Rogers. I am Captain America.", he said.

I took his hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you too."

Then Thor was on it. He opened his mouth but I shushed him.

"You are from Asgard. Thor the God of Thunder. I know you already."

He smiled at me and I a little back.

"Ah...Miss Anster...It is great that you could join us and help us with this case.", the man with a covered eye said....I guess this is Fury.

"It's a pleasure that I can help here.", I responded.

"We have questions about this....Loki....", Fury said.

"I know a lot about him. Even more than the others who study mythology. What should I tell you ?"

"Is Loki Odin's brother ?", Fury asked.

I laughed.

"Hahaha ! They all say that ! No. He isn't. He is the adoptive brother of Thor. Loki is Jotun. The Jotuns are Frost Giants. If you get touched by them, you get a mean frostbite."

Now it comes !!

"Then how could we touch him ?", Tony asked and Steve nodded.

"Well...that is complicated. Odin took him and I guess he put on Loki a magic spell. So that his powers of a Jotun are hidden and in his Asgardian form they won't work."

"Ah...", Steve said.

"Loki is a troublemaker. Not just because of his title. He was someone who got a pretty difficult life...I don't know. At least myth says it."

"He really is a troublemaker.", Thor agreed and chuckled.

"Where is Loki ? I need to see him.", I said.

The others looked at each other.

"Are you sure ?", Thor asked me worried.

"Yes. I need more details... They all say he looks like slenderman in some way.",

Well...in school in other Universes they did....The others laughed.

"Follow me kid. But please...be careful and don't push any buttons.", Tony said.

"Okay."

"Meow !"

I got startled. I turned around and saw my cat walk after us. I smiled softly at her.

"What is actually its name ?", Tony asked.

I smiled.

"Her name is Luna."

"Oh, a girl. She is very sweet.", Tony complimented.

"Thank you."

My cat followed us the whole time. We stopped at a door and Tony gave me the keys.

"Your cat can go in too. Just watch out. The key is for just this door here."

Tony tapped at the door. I nodded, smiled at him and then unlocked the door. I went in and held the door open, to look at Luna again. I clicked my tongue. She looked up at me.

"Do you want to join me, sweety ?", I asked her lovely.

She started to purr and walked in too. She cuddled with my leg after that.

"Good girl.", I said and stroked her.

"She truly is. How did you do this ?How did you raise her to be like that ?", Tony asked.

I smiled at him.

"Much love.", was my only answer.

He smiled and walked away, I closed the door and then turned around to see Loki. He had a little longer hair. They were no longer smoothed out... They were now more free and... the hair tips stand off like small spikes. Nice. He stared daggers into my eyes...that's new... And his eyes....WAIT !! ARE THEY BLUE ?! WEREN'T THEY GREEN ?! THAT BASTARD !! I need to look later what this means for me...

"Loki...Nice to meet you.", I said.

I will have my fun anyways.

"Don't you dare to talk to me, pathetic mortal !", Loki said with venom in his voice to me.

"Wow... You really became an asshole...", I said.

"How dare you !"

"I dare what I want you idiotic, pathetic, foolish Dumbass !"

Loki shuts his mouth, in anger and clenched his fists. I came very close to his glass and whispered....

"Because, you once told me...if you act like an ass towards me, I can call you whatever I want. Mischief - boy."

His eyes furowed.

"She is on Asgard, you don't look like her."

"And still, I know all the nicknames she gave you. Mischief - boy, Loks, Lo, Trickster, Prankster and Frosty. Correct ?"

He stared at me in his eyes pure anger.

"You are not her."

I chuckled.

"We will see, Loki....Laufeyson."

His eyes widened and I turned around and went for the door. I stopped at it, before opening.

"I will find a way...to heal you. I know he did this. You should have listened to me, where you still had a choice... Now you will need to fear, to run your whole life away from him. I hope you are proud of your mistake.", I said.

"Come Luna. Say Goodbye to Mister Frosty and Mischief, and we go.", I told my cat.

She walked to the glass as close as she could. She put her forepaws on it and looked at him, he looked back down at her.

"Meow !"

And with that she was again on all her fours and came to me. He looked at me and the cat a little confused.

"Oh ! Your Magic probably doesn't work... She said...'Until next time, Frosty.'", I told him.

He nodded.

"If you like...I bring next time some books with me and you can at least read something. Deal ?", I asked him.

"Deal.", he responded.

I smiled, opened the door, walked out with Luna, closed the door and locked it again. I went down to the office again and saw just Fury.

"Director Fury, Sir ?", I asked.

He turned to face me .

"Yes ?"

"Where is Tony ?"

"He is in the lab with Dr. Bruce Banner.", he answered.

"Thank you.", I said smiling at him.

I turned on my heel and went to the lab. Tony told me exactly where it was.

Part 18

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[dropintomanga]

Behind the Blog - 20 Years in the Making

5 years ago, I wrote “Behind the Blog - 15 Years in the Making.” It was a post detailing how I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2000 and the experiences that led to me starting this blog. 

Now it’s 5 years later and I want to look back at that post a bit. I’m also going to discuss further insights about my past that I remembered and recent thoughts learned over time.

In my recent post about Komi Can’t Communicate, I mentioned my parents being worried about me having a possible communication disorder at the age of 2 and their decision to put me through special education classes. I joke that my life was doomed from the start even though it turned out I was alright. My father recently told me that when I was in pre-kindergaren, he was stalked by two men who wanted to rob him. After going on a school trip, I was dropped off by the special education class at a certain spot and my father went to pick me up. Once he did, he realized he was being followed while taking me home. Thankfully, he went inside a store with a security guard at the front door and nothing happened.

I’m really glad that nothing bad happened in front of my eyes. I don’t know how I would have processed it all. My parents have told me stories of how bad New York City was back in the 1970s’-1980s’. They have been robbed several times when they first moved to America. Before I was born, my mother was pregnant and was chased by three men who wanted to rape her. She got away, but fell down to the ground while escaping. My mother had a miscarriage as a result. The funny thing is that a few months later, she was pregnant with me.

It’s so freaking surreal to me whenever I think about that. I would not be here if it weren’t for that incident.

I also think back to that time in 2001 when I decided to be hospitalized. I told a college guidance counselor back in 2000 that I was hearing voices. That was a big reason why I stayed at the hospital. In hindsight, I was faking it. I think I just wanted attention and did it in a way that hurt everyone around me. I never heard voices at all. A thing that people with mental illness sometimes like to do is to dramatize things to get the attention of those around them. While it’s important to address their concerns, caregivers aren’t gods. They’re human beings with boundaries. Caregivers are placed with unfair expectations on handling mental illness in their loved ones. Now that I look back at the situation, I wished someone was there to shut me up in a compassionate way.

Speaking of college, there was one guidance counselor who I spoke with before I dropped out that said something that resonated with me. She said, “You know, I can see you being famous one day.” I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t pay much attention. After starting the blog, I went back to that college to attend an anime convention there and hoped to speak with that counselor again. I wanted to thank her because at the time, I felt that she was right in some way as I was going up the ranks in the manga blogging community. Unfortunately, she wasn’t working there anymore.

It’s funny because I’m not interested in chasing fame much anymore. I’m content with where I’m at.

I now want to think back to this passage I wrote in the 15-year post.

“But I’ve gone on to stay in good shape and I’m healthier than almost all of my relatives. I think it’s because deep down, I really wanted to live despite those dark desires. That or those good habits provided some physiological relief. I don’t think I’ll ever try to commit suicide. I’m too much of a coward for that. I’ve only just started to “live” a normal life honestly.

I was reading Noragami Volume 7 and it highlighted an important note about the main character, Yato. He is afraid of being forgotten. I think almost all depressed individuals have some fear of that. We want to be validated and we want people to let us know that they care. I also remember Great Teacher Onizuka Volume 17, where one of my favorite characters, Urumi Kanzaki, was going to commit suicide despite all pleas by her teacher, Onizuka, to stop doing so.

He went to great lengths to save Urumi and she realized how much he cared about her well-being. Do I want someone to sacrifice their own lives to save me? I don’t know, but I feel that I want to know that even in the darkest of moments, someone would come and physically stop me from going down a path where I never come back. In Noragami Volume 7, there was a moment where Yato saved a suicidal student and told him to never kill himself in front of him. I want to be the person to stop someone from ending their life.

It’s funny, right? I have thoughts about dying several times throughout my life, but I don’t want anyone to end their lives in front of me or other people. Maybe it’s because I don’t want them to understand how I felt. No one should. The thoughts I have can be warped and frightening to many.”

Here’s the sad thing - I considered suicide a year later after this post. I felt someone wanted me to go away for good. Someone did save me though. And then stuff happened that led me to question relationships (which thankfully got a lot better as the years went on). 

But after it was said and done, starting around 2017, I began to stop hating myself. I still have doubts from time to time and I realize that it’s okay to think about them. The world still treats people with mental illness and mental health problems like crap, so I decided to be more forward in learning how to best fight that kind of discrimination. I practiced self-compassion over self-esteem. That was the start of limiting my social media presence in an attempt to not feel pressured by external validation. This year, before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I also stopped attending therapy with mutual agreement from my social worker and psychiatrist. I felt like I can finally start to manage things on my own. 

It took 20 years to reach that point and I have felt some shame that I’m not at the level of my peers that are the same age as me. I’m getting close to 40, but feel like a 30 year old. I try not to compare too much with other people because honestly, they probably have gone through tough times as much as I have. Maybe not to the extent of a mental illness, but certainly stuff that makes them question life.

Compared to how I was 5 years ago, I’m more reflective and compassionate. I’ve embraced all parts of my humanity. While people believe I’m a good person, I know I can be capable of hurting people in terrible ways in times of duress. I don’t have this highly inflated positive view of myself. In a way, that’s kept me grounded. I dislike it when people say that they’ll never be this way or feel that way. The blunt truth is that life will test you in so many ways and you’re going to make mistakes (sometimes horrible ones) whether you like it or not. Admitting that you’re wrong about certain things is something I wish more people were receptive to doing. Humility is truly a mind healer when cultivated properly.

I’ll end this with some lines from the video game NieR: Automata. I finally played it this year and the game left such a grand impression on me. I loved its emphasis on trying to find meaning even when everything about the world is questionable. NieR: Automata reminded me why and so many fans LOVE Japanese pop culture media. The game gets very depressing, but I found out that the game’s creator, Yoko Taro, received messages from fans who wanted to kill themselves, saying that NieR: Automata gave them hope to live. In the true ending and without giving out heavy spoilers, one character poses a question to another about the cycle of trauma happening again for a certain group of characters that went through so much due to story events, the responding character said this,

“I cannot deny the possibility. However, the possibility of a different future also exists. A future is not given to you. It is something you must take for yourself.”

I now feel that I got some strength to take a future for myself and hopefully people I care about. I finally understand what it means to take care of myself compared to 5 years ago. My “manga series” may end one day, but I’m glad to spend a good part of it writing here. I look forward to exploring myself further on this blog, thanks to you all.