#time to go sit down somewhere and lose awareness of everything for an hour i guess god fucking damnit i hate this brain

[piplupod]

cause of today's breakdown: found out cobwebs do not just form out of accumulated dust - it is always spiders

[sweetbunpura]

How about some Rollo x Yuu angst, hehehehehe.

Yuu is eventually going to have to go back to her world right? She wants to go home, doesn't she? Surely she misses the old familiarity and simplicity of her world. No life or death situations or harrowing experiences that leave her mind and body scarred. And what about her mother? Her uncle? The rest of her family? She has so many things left unsaid, so many things left undone...

But, there is no guarantee that if Yuu crosses the boundaries of dimensions again, it won't be a one way trip as her world has no magic.

Yuu wants to go home.

But at the same time, she doesn't.

Because...She's found happiness here.

For as much shit as they give her, She's found friends here.

She's found love here.

She wants to stay, to settle roots, but she can't because she doesn't belong here, and she is made almost painfully aware of that constantly with her friends talking about things she has absolutely no context for or events and figures she's never heard of.

And there is probably still some much of this world she hasn't seen or learned about, secrets both light and dark.

So many things here simultaneously make sense and don't.

It's dizzying.

She misses what was with an ache.

And Rollo?

On one hand, I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to go to a magicless world. It's almost all he's ever wanted since his brother passed, a dream come true. And it's where his girlfriend came from to boot!

His reputation in this world is already ruined, so why not start fresh somewhere new?

Yet, at the same time, his mission to rid Twisted Wonderland remains incomplete. Not only that, but is he truly ok with abandoning everything to live in a world he knows very little about? Could he actually go through with it, despite everything? Leave the comfort of the familiarity and plunge straight into the unknown depths of a brand new world?

He wants Yuu to be safe, but from what cryptic things he's heard from her about her world is it's not exactly a safe place either, even without magic.

There are so many knowns, yet just as equally as many unknowns...

He doesn't want to lose this.

She doesn't want to lose this.

Do they let go of familiarity and take the plunge into uncharted waters? Or do they return to the solace of that which is comfortable?

BUCKLE UP KIDS, HERE COMES A FIC!

Rollo's eyes flick from her, to the glowing white mirror, and then to outside of the Mirror Room where the rest of NRC and Twisted Wonderland awaits. It was a process and a struggle to even find the spell to do this, Crowley was weirdly adamant about not helping until Rollo himself and Malleus managed to find an ancient book full of transportation spells. Then suddenly Crowley was all smiles and trying to take credit for the pair's discovery, which they both shut down and told Yuu the truth. During that time, his and Yuu's relationship had progressed in a way Rollo had never seen coming. He...loved it, loved her, even loved that little furball of hers. But now... She was standing in front of the mirror, looking ethereal as the light bounced around her.

"72 hours is how long it'll stay open for, right?" She says, voice easily heard over the hum of the mirror. "Give me your answer then, Rollo."

He had learned that if it was a serious moment, she would drop the nickname.

"I shall..."

She gives a soft smile, walking over to kiss him on the lips, something else that had taken ages for him to allow. Yuu departs, disappearing into the halls of the school and leaving him contemplating.

"That's a hard choice, NGL."

Rollo seeks advice in Cater and Trey as they sit in Heartslabyul's garden.

"Yeah, drop everything you've ever known for her world or she drops everything for ours." Trey crosses his arms.

"Course, Yuu-chan learned the world, but..." Cater plays with the handle of his tea cup. "It doesn't mean she likes it. It's still foreign to her. She's been through so much shit, so she might wanna go."

Indeed, she had. Rollo remembers the large argument she got in with Malleus after the Overblot fight. It was loud and raw and by the end of it, Yuu had stormed out. Rollo, despite his own wounds, had gone to comfort her. She cried as she hugged him, saying how she had grown tired of all these near death situations and how she should've never been the one to handle any of these. Rollo remembered his plan that night, to dispose the world of magic, for his brother and now for his love. But if he leaves, he can't accomplish that goal.

"What about you, Roll-kun?" Rollo looks up from his cup. "A world with no magic is up your alley."

"It is." He presses his moth handkerchief to his mouth. "But she talks about the danger of it. The fear that comes from being a black woman. Dealing with corruption that buries the little man or the affection families. The fear of war, death, the lack of justice. Her place is a hellscape that even has the world trying to rid itself of them." He sighed. "But it's her home, she has family there."

"Hmm." Trey hummed. "It's a dilemma."

Rollo leaves after that, finishing his tea and bowing as he departs. He thinks it's right to go around and ask similar questions to the others. Rollo knows that the students wouldn't hesitate to have him gone, so he solely focuses on Yuu.

Ace crosses his arms. "Man, I dunno, I think Yuu belongs here. Safer than her place."

Deuce shakes his head. "I'm actually worried about her, I'd feel better if she went home. It'll suck if she left, sure, but she'd be home."

Riddle sets aside his book and crosses his legs. "To say all she accomplished would be an understatement. She's helped us, but now she needs it. She should return home."

Ruggie hums as he leans against the wall. "A lotta things changed since she came here, but I can tell she wants to leave. So let her."

Jack puts down his weights and his ears lower. "I'd like her to stay, I know it's selfish of me..."

Leona glares at him from his spot near the pool. "It's her choice, ain't it? Herbivore can decide on her own, she doesn't need any influence from us."

Floyd pouting as he rests against the bar. "I want Shrimpy to stay... She's better if she's here with us and you, I guess..."

Jade sets down some plates. "It'd be selfish to ask her to stay, but I believe she'd have a better chance here than over there."

Azul puts down his paperwork. "That's a difficult question, but I also know we've hurt her far too much. Let her go home."

Jamil looks at him as he stops stirring whatever's in the pot. "She's a menace, causing more problems for everyone involved. But she saved me and others from our own stupidity. Despite that, it's clear that this was never her home."

Kalim furiously shakes his head. "She can make this place her home! Well, not NRC, but maybe somewhere else? I don't want her to go."

Epel frowns. "She's my friend, so of course I want the best for her. I want her to leave, but I want her to stay too."

Rook taps his arrow against his leg. "It is difficult, non? Madam Trickster is the driving force behind the school. But she is not happy here."

Vil closes his compact mirror. "Potato is old enough to answer this question herself. But if you want my opinion, I honestly don't know."

Ortho hums in sadness. "I think she should leave. I'm thankful for all the help she gave us, my brother and I included, but she's only been helping us, no one's been helping her."

Idia pauses his game, but his eyes are still focused on the screen in front of him. "Being with Yuu-rin was like pulling an R and not knowing she'd be the strongest card in the deck. You don't wanna take her off the team, but you know she needs the rest."

Sebek grumbles. "The hu- Yuu opened our eyes to a lot of things. I'd love her to stay but it'll only hamper her development."

Silver sheaths his sword. "She should go. All heroes end their journey eventually."

Lilia chuckles. "I've retired and she deserves her break."

Malleus is lurking, back facing Rollo. "Are you suspecting that I want Child of Man to stay? We found that spell for her, Flamme. I'm making peace with the fact that she may leave us."

The 72 hours are up and everyone gathers in the mirror chamber. Yuu's standing in front of the mirror, hands in her pockets as she looks at Rollo. She's bathed in light while he and the others are cast in darkness. A stark comparison to what she is to them.

"Well, what's your choice?"

He opens his mouth.

[daemonwritesstuff]

AEGON II & HIS BELOVED AELLARA TARGARYEN

A/N: this is yet another trade with my best bud @sugutoad !! I’m so happy to do yet another one of these and I hope I did this one with justice (I think I’m just gonna go dig up a hole and die in there once this is posted 🧍) but I will forever be grateful to do so many matchups with ya 😭❤️ here ya go! and yes this is aegon x anna’s OC!

It was a peaceful evening for the two couples Aegon and Aellara, they spend their nights together in each other rooms or someone deep into the night with no one around, it was just them together in the world.

 Aellara and Aegon’s relationship was a secret, no one knew about them only his family did, including his sister-wife Helaena, she understood their situation and aware of how in love they were, she wouldn’t interfere with them…

One night where Aellara and Aegon usually met up frequently, this time they were in his own chambers… When Aegon and Aellara are in each others arms she decides to ask a question to her beloved and it was a very simple question that no one should really be upset about, she asked the boy “Are we ever gonna be together?” Aegon got out of her arms in confusion, why was she asking such a question?

“Of course we are…” Aegon assured her but it really wouldn’t last long and the tension started getting more stronger, Aellara was losing her hope… her thoughts kept bugging her, telling herself that maybe this love was not meant to be.

She had said it out loud… not knowing that Aegon was still with her, he got up and started yelling at her… telling her that they will be together but Aellara is sick of hearing the same thing, if Aegon really loves her and wants her then wouldn’t he do something about this marriage he was in and finally be with her?

“I… I don’t think this was meant to be…” she said as she let out her sobs, her pain, everything single horrible thing she has ever thought of, she let all of it out during this breakdown, before Aegon could even say a word she unstably got up, lifted her dress and started running away sobbing, Aegon’s soul was screaming at him to tell his guards to go after her, to stop her, but the words… nothing could come out of his mouth as his heart kept putting pressure on him and he started crying.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

It’s been a few days since he was last spoken to Aellara, she has not spoken face to face with him recently and he began to grow anxious, waiting for her to come back to him so he can be in the comfort of her arms, the real place he called “home”.

He decided to use his sword and start attacking a wooden statue (meant for using swords) to let out his anger, Criston just happened to be waking by and stopped by and asked Aegon if he wanted to duel with him, and without a doubt he did… this lasted for a few hours until Aegon has gotten tired and decided to sit down.

Aegon told Criston how he can make it up to his beloved, Aellara… how he can fix things with her once again, it took Criston a few moments to figure out something and tell him, he told him that he can invite her somewhere she wants to go, no questions or anything, just to take her. He also added that he can divorce Helaena somehow and try to plead to his mother to let him marry Aellara.

Aegon who listened to Cristons words decided to do exactly what he said, he had got the cooks to pack him and his mistress a meal, one of his liking and of her liking so he can make it up to her, after the meals have been cooked and brought to him Aegon bumps into Aellara and tells her to come with him and he has a surprise, she was a little bit suspicious of what he was doing but never declined, just giving short answers like “Ok”.

He wanted to take her dragon to go and eat but Aellara took a liking to his dragon and insisted that she would like to go on his dragon, he could never decline anything his beloved wanted, so he decided to take her on Sunfyre and fly off to the destination he planned to take her.

Once they arrive they got to a garden that they both enjoyed going to here and there for dates, it was also the same garden he also took her to on his first date with her. They start talking like they normally do and after some time after talking there’s a silence, but Aellara decides to break that silence and lean over to kiss him, and then Aegon gives her a few pecks back and they both smile sweetly to each other.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

After their pleasant little picnic they enjoyed Aegon takes her to go walk up a hill, enjoying the view of the sunset, he tells her “Do you ever wanna just run away?” Aellara giggles at his silly question and jokes back with him, causing him to start joking back with her and telling her (terrible) jokes that make her crack up.

After they stop laughing at some point Aellara decided to tell him something that she needed to tell him (before the argument never happened) but she was nervous to, after getting him to listen to her she decided to tell him that she is with a child…

His smile fell, but after a few seconds his smile came back and he picked her up and started spinning her around in joy and starts celebrating a little that he’s gonna have a child with her! But he sooner realizes that the child might be a bastard and is worried about how she’ll react, but Aellara reassures him that she doesn’t care as long has their child has their father with them in their life.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

After Aegon heads back he immediately tries to talk with his parents and his grandfather, Otto Hightower. Aegon immediately tells them that he wants a divorce with Helaena and to let him marry Aellara, she was also of his blood too and it would strengthen more of the bond more.

Viserys refuses this at first because of their traditions and tells him that he shouldn’t try to do that, to keep the tradition going and he focuses on his legos after that 💀. On the other hand with Alicent and Otto also persist and they start bringing up the history of the Dawn’s Empire between House Dayne and House Targaryen (which was kind of stupid to compare that to…)

But after some time, Viserys will allow him to marry Aellara and get divorced with Helaena (much to his sisters joy, she can finally be free from being queen and go back to focusing more on her insects).

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

After some months, Aellara and Aegon are officially married! They got married in the way of Old Valyria since it would strengthen them more through soul and no one would be able to separate them at all, not even the gods.

Their party was amazing and so much fun, lavish but the room was filled with joy, there was a lot of singing, talking and dancing, there was no bad stuff happening at all, all anxiety and fear was gone, it was a refresh for a better life they were about to have. Aellara and Aegon were made for each other and no one could ever separate them, no matter how much they try.

[umgeorge]

What Does an F1 Driver Do Between Races?

A racetrack might be the natural habitat of a Formula 1 driver, but making the most of the time away from the asphalt is also crucial when it comes to maximising performance. From debriefs and data digging, partner days and downtime, there's no time to take your foot off the pedal. We spoke to George to find out everything he gets up to between Grand Prix weekends. "The racetrack is the tip of the iceberg. The work that goes on at the factory is so vitally important. That's where everyone is aware of the car's performance," he explains. There's no gentle ease into the week. Drivers will often head straight back into the simulator, not to look ahead to the next race, but to go back over the previous weekend and see what did and didn't correlate between the virtual and real world. It's a schedule that doesn't always agree with a driver's sleeping pattern, either. "Take Australia as an example," says George. "I landed back in London at midnight. But I'll stay on a more Eastern time schedule, rather than shift back to GMT and then do nine hours to Japan in a couple of weeks." Win or lose, the best time to debrief will always be as soon after the event as possible. Sitting down with the team and talking about what could have gone better and how to ensure things will be different at future races is the priority. It's not all about screens, numbers, and data. It's a chance to come together and bounce thoughts and ideas off of a wide range of team members, be that the latest developments in the wind tunnel or an honest discussion with an engineer. "We'll always sit down and have breakfast and lunch together," George adds. Data analysis can take a few days to be completed. When it has, usually around Wednesday or Thursday, post-race weekend, there's a deep dive to be done. This is a full-blown catch up that allows a driver to truly digest the numerical facts and figures behind race performance. Formula 1 is a constant development. Dwelling too long on the past isn't an option and it's important to know as soon as possible what you're looking to try at the next event, but building a picture of what to try at the next race often starts during the race before. Drivers are so in tune with being on a racetrack that they may notice a performance trend at one circuit that will work well at another. "You may have just completed a quali lap somewhere, and you realise that what you have learned might be good to try at a race later in the year," reveals George. "In the world we live in, eyes are always forward." In between, the physical exertion doesn't relent. A driver will mix between gym sessions at home or at the factory. And it's not light work. "I'll usually do a double session every day when I get home, right up until the Monday of the next race week. From that point of view the week goes by pretty quickly," says George. More often than not, there may be some time on set behind a camera, carrying out important filming or marketing days with our partners. And what about downtime? Switching off while the engines are off is so important. Disconnecting from the world is a crucial part of a high profile athlete's itinerary. Whether it's a walk or just a catch up with friends or family, the importance of stepping outside that motorsport bubble for just a few moments cannot be underestimated. By now we're back into a race week. Prep done, the adrenaline and anticipation of racing is slowly building. A return to the racetrack beckons, and a Formula 1 driver can feel truly at home once more.

[celosiaa]

IV/Cannula

hehe this is for day 1 of mediwhumpmay, which I am now posting in October

tw: emeto, hospital setting

“Hey, there you are. Keep those eyes open for me, Blackwood.”

“Mmm…wh?”

Everything feels so, so heavy—god, he can barely see. His eyes must drift closed again, because before he knows it, the voice is back, this time pinching the skin on the inside of his arm.

“Eyes open, Martin, come on.” Pinching again.

Gauging his responsiveness, he knows. The thought floats above the whirling pool of all the others. His eyes flutter open, an effort to reassure the voice he slowly comes to recognize as the voice of his junior partner, Ben.

“Ff…fuck,” he moans, squeezing his eyes shut as soon as he opens them. The vertigo was too much to bear—and with an awful rising feeling in his gut, he curls further onto his side and vomits.

The effort of this exhausts him, and he must lose time, for the next thing he is aware of is the earth rumbling beneath him. He prepares mentally for the end of the world, again—but upon fluttering his eyes open again, he discovers that the ambulance had just hit a bump in the road.

Ambulance. I’m at…work.

He snaps his eyes open again at the thought, attempting to sit up, only to find himself strapped into something.

The stretcher.

“Lie back, Martin, just relax—“

Darkness.

—

Jon hates the hospital. Hates it.

He would do just about anything to avoid coming here, especially to A&E. The crowding, the noise, the smell of antiseptic…the desperation of all the people waiting for hours upon hours to be seen.

He doesn’t understand how Martin can cope with this every day.

It’s already been a long walk from the train station, and Jon’s heart is pounding—from this as well as the call that he’d received from Ben, telling him that his husband collapsed on the job and is being cared for here.

Jon knew he shouldn’t have gone into work that day. And he’d told him as much, many times. Martin had been ill over the holidays, but due to the nature of his work, had needed to go in anyway. Especially with the increased number of accidents, injuries, and illnesses that tend to make themselves known during this season. Added to that, a bug had been working its way through their ranks, taking down one medic after the next. Martin had assured Jon that he felt alright enough to cover for his indisposed coworkers, but…

Obviously, that had not been the case.

With a sigh, Jon leans a little heavier upon his cane, still in the triage queue. He needs to calm down, not let this frustration get the better of him. As much as an “I told you so” might be warranted here…god knows Martin had spared him many such conversations that Jon himself had certainly deserved.

At last, the person behind the desk waves him forward.

“I’m here to see my husband, please.”

“Name?”

“Martin Blackwood-Sims. I was told he’s in bay thirty-three.”

“Hmm…” They click around on their computer a few times before looking back up at him. “Looks like he’s on respiratory precautions. Please take a mask to protect yourself.”

Jon sighs, the anger bubbling up in his chest again.

I told you, Martin. I told you.

Not helpful.

He swallows it the best that he can, fitting the loops of the mask over his ears before following the nurse through the double doors.

“Straight back this way, and you should see him,” the nurse says, and turns back to their post.

Jon hadn’t needed the directions. From where he entered, he saw him—his husband, pale faced, propped up on several pillows and getting an IV placed.

Be calm. Breathe. Breathe.

Jon hates this; god he hates it here—and he’s absolutely livid that Martin never listens to him, and now look where it’s gotten him. Now they both have to be here, with all the people and the noise and the memories—

He feels suddenly quite weightless in the relentless onslaught of emotions, and wishes desperately for somewhere to sit. Not by Martin, not quite yet. Everything is all tangled up in itself, in the past, in the fear of this place. And his husband needs him calm. Calm and supportive, just as Martin has done so many times for him.

Braced against the wall of the corridor and his cane, Jon allows his eyes to fall closed, to focus on his breath for a moment. It’s just this breath. And the next. And the next.

Bless Martin for teaching him this technique.

When he opens his eyes, he feels a gentle wave of calm. Not perfect, but it will get him through and allow him to be there for Martin, who is now alone in his bay, eyes closed and exhausted.

That is, until they reopen and alight on Jon, walking toward him. Immediately, Martin’s hands reach up to cover his face—the tips of his ears reddening with shame, even as the rest of him retains that unnerving pallor.

“Oh God, Jon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Martin…”

“I swear I didn’t mean to—to cause such a fuss, I didn’t—“

”Martin,” Jon pleads, more forcefully this. Time as he eyes his oxygen saturation on the monitor. “Breathe, habibi. You’re alright.”

As the monitor starts to alarm, Martin seems to realize that he’s gasping for air—and that sets him into a coughing fit, worse even than he’d been showing at home. Jon’s stomach drops just listening. And even more so when a nurse comes in to silence the alarm, reaching for the plastic tubing of the nasal cannula that Jon knows all too well.

“That’s quite the nasty cough there, Mr. Blackwood.”

Jon is hit with another sudden wave of irritation—obviously, its a bad cough, obviously, that’s why he’s in the damn A&E.

He needs to calm down before he snaps at someone and makes the whole damned situation even worse.

“Sorry,” Martin croaks, the fit ending. “I’m alright, I—sorry.”

“No need to apologize love. Just keep that oxygen on, alright?”

Saying this, the nurse leaves, and Martin sinks further into his bed, exhausted. Jon’s heart twinges painfully, and he extends his hand to Martin’s—and just as he’d hoped, Martin opens his eyes at the contact, smile weary but warm as he takes his hand in turn.

“What happened, Martin?” Jon asks, desperately. “Ben called me, you know. Told me you collapsed.”

“Oh no—no, love, I’m alright, really, I’m okay. Just took a bit of a tumble.”

Martin gives him another embarrassed smile, trying to sit up straighter, and Jon can’t take it anymore.

“If that’s what you want to call it, fine,” he snaps.

He regrets it immediately. Martin’s face is stricken, smile disappearing, eyes wide.

“I-I’m sorry, Jon—“

“No, Martin, I—“

“Are you okay?”

Martin leans closer, putting his other hand over Jon’s, the one with the IV. Still so pale, clammy. And concerned. Martin is worrying over him, even here while he’s the one in the hospital bed.

Jon takes a deeper breath than he has since he received the phone call, closing his eyes  as Martin gently squeezes his hand between both of his own.

Oh, Martin.

“Thank you,” says Martin softly, “for being here with me, habibi. I know this is…a difficult place for you to be. So thank you.”

That is too much, far too much.

“Don’t thank me,”  Jon chokes around a lump in his throat he can’t quite swallow. “Don’t. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped, it’s just...”

“Memories.”

“Yes.”

Martin squeezes his hand again, and Jon opens his eyes. Still there, still Martin, despite everything. Jon moves closer, using his free hand to brush Martin’s sweat soaked hair back from his forehead.

“I’m here for you, habibi. I’m sorry.”

“And I’m here for you,” Martin replies earnestly, breaking off momentarily to muffle a chest-rattling cough into his elbow. “We can…we can b—ha, both...”

“Shh, hush now,” Jon whispers lowly, reaching for the call light on Martin’s bed.

“We…we’ve got…each other,” Martin pants, letting Jon anxiously fuss over his blankets and his nasal cannula.

“I know, darling.” He rests a gentle hand on Martin’s laboring chest, a reminder that he’s here, he’s here.

“I know.”

[spectatingspectacle]

Got motivation and made a little short of my CotL AU.

Now I go sleepy

…

……..

Shamura was sitting in their bedchamber on the floor, ever-so-slightly leaning forward one micrometer a minute. Their expression was as empty as could be, the only sign of the god being alive was their pupils shaking and the rise and fall of their chest with each breath getting slower…

A few books and documents lay in front of them, why did they bring those out again? At some point, they faded away. Soon, everything faded away, and they were left in a void. A void manifested from the depths of their consciousness slipping away from reality.

Laughter rang out, bright and mirthful somewhere in the distance. It stopped and silence floated again for a moment before tiny little taps filled it. The taps were getting closer, and closer, and closer until…

“Hello!”

Shamura looked up but didn't move their head, before them was a young spider, a pretty headpiece made of repurposed cobwebs and obsidian pieces that were shaped like teardrops draped over the young spider’s forehead.

Something about this spiderling felt familiar, in a bittersweet way. A memory that used to hold comfort.

“... Hello, little one.” They straightened their back, their body felt lighter than it should've.

The little one observed Shamura before taking a seat as well, almost perfectly mirroring their pose. It raised a hand, putting another over its chest.

It smiled brightly. “I’m-”

“Shamura Ludovica Kiaaski,” Shamura finished for the spiderling. The crown on its head told them of the puzzle pieces they needed. The crown’s crescent eye staring into theirs, a familiar gaze. A bittersweet memory they're holding onto by half a thread.

“... How'd you know?” The little one giggled, rocking back and forth idly.

“I… just a hunch, per se.”

“What are you doing here?” It rolled its Rs and Ls. They knew the accent well, they lost it sometime after they found Heket.

“I know not anymore.”

It blinked at them before tilting its head. “You forget what you were doing too? It happens to me all the time! The others scold me sometimes ‘cause of that”

They knew. “A lot more than I used to…”

Silence again, lingering just above their heads.

Slowly, they brought a hand up, and it came to rest upon the spiderling’s cheek. It blinked again before it made a click with its fangs and turned into their palm with a smile, just like Shamura thought it would.

Ichor dripped down the side of their face from under the spiderweb headdress they wore. Soft words came out of their mouth before they could think about the question.“... Can you tell me who you are?”

The Godling uncovered its face enough to look at them with one eye and answer with “Why should I? Don't you already know? That's the whole point of being the God of Knowledge, right?” It giggled again, still so bright and… genuinely happy. Not a care in the world for what's to come. Suddenly, its smile turned to surprise when it looked behind Shamura, then it stood up and pointed. “Who’s that?”

They looked over it for a moment… they faintly remember the silk dress it wore… crafted by them with the help if someone dear

When did they lose it?

How long ago did they make it?

Why did it matter?

Shamura turned their head and twisted their back to see. It was the Lamb, walking up to them in the nightgown they had made for her recently and holding her two-headed lamb plushie close to her.

She stopped for a moment to close their bedchamber door. After a moment of pause, she hopped over to them and made herself comfortable in their lap.

“... Hello, my dear.” With her arrival, their bedchamber faded back into their awareness, and the light from the small window on their ceiling was gone, replaced with twinkling stars. How long have they been there?

“Hi,” she said, low and tired, definitely woken up sometime in the past hour.

They ran a claw through her wool. “Aren't you supposed to be asleep, Little Lamb?”

“... Yeah, but……”

“‘But’? What's wrong?”

The Lamb pressed her cheek against their chest. “My dreams aren't being nice to me. It started out fine, but something happened and I woke up with tears down my face,” she pouted, annoyed that was how she was woken up.

They lifted up another claw and carefully ran it over her cheek. It did feel dry like tears were there not too long ago. “If it makes you feel any better, my dreams aren't being all that nice to me either…” Would they consider that a dream or a hallucination? Did they fall asleep?

“That makes two of us… can I sleep in here until my forced vacation is over?” Right, Shamura and the others forced her to take it easy for at least a week when they noticed just how many tasks she was handling at the same time.

“If it’ll help you rest, then go ahead, Little Lamb.”

“Thank you ‘Mura” she thanked them as she squeezed her plushie and adjusted her position.

“......... You're welcome, my dear.”

[unknownarmageddon]

thinking. THINKING.

imagine. killer has like, a slight depressive spiral, and it’s like. he wanders off more, but never too far because as much as it aches to be around cross, he doesn’t want to think about being without him

but like. cross just doesn’t seem to really notice that, and it doesn’t help at all to come back from wherever and see that cross hadn’t really, you know, missed him? like, before, cross would greet him, or say something, or come lookin for him if he was gone longer than an hour, and now it’s like. he’s so detached and it’s so like, disorienting

and like, killer just leaves for hours, and takes longer and longer because killer just goes and sit somewhere, or half-heartedly kicks at rubble and shit and he like comes back empty-handed more often than not and it’s like

he comes back from a particularly long trip, and cross is like. tending to the fire, sitting on his own bedroll and he like, spares killer a glance and asks “didja find anything?”

and killer like. shrugs and makes a random noise and just. lays down and goes to sleep and like, i wanna think that this happens towards the end of the distance arc, when cross is starting to like, notice just how much he fucked this up and it’s like

idk, i feel like seeing killer walk around so like. progressively more tired, more hollowed out, it’s like, a big thing that clues cross in to the fact that like. they need each other.

killer needs him, and as much as he wants to say otherwise, he needs killer too, and the distance between them is gonna be what starts them down a path of no return, and just. kills them.

and it’s already happening, when he notices too that killer isn’t eating as much as he should, even with their sparse rations, and he’s tired, less aware, and it makes him careless and easily overtaken if someone unfriendly comes across killer in this state and beyond just, the logical reasonal parts of it, cross just.

wants killer to be happy, and when it like, finally fuckin hits him that he cares more about that, than he fears this whole relationship thing, it’s like, he’s so angry with himself and when killer finally comes and asks to sleep with him, and cross caves in and killer curls up against him and it’s like

fuck man im trying. to stop thinking about the distance arc but like. a month is such little time compared to the time they were, yk, okay, but it’s like. it’s still a month, and somehow, that one month was like, the loneliest they’d really felt in a long time and

aghhhhh….

AUGH SHAKING YOU

OKAY OKAY this is so making me think of this ask from Deni

So like at this point Killer just falls SO deep into that third stage. Like he is. Fucking out of it.

And Cross is deep in his own shit he doesn’t notice either like you said.

Like that month was eons long for them. Like it just dragged on and it was excruciating. And they’re both beating themselves up and they’re both beating each other up inside.

And then that night when Cross actually gets Killer’s attention, like actually seems to see him and what he’s going through emotionally for the first time in a month and he sets that star projector down, and they press up against each other to watch the artificial stars dance on broken walls, everything like clears up. Like a storm cloud blowing away. Of course it’s gonna be kinda dark still, they have to work through things more. But it’s like so fucking relieving for them to be able to actually be close to each other again. and THEN maybe that night when the whole thing with Killer getting into Cross’s sleeping bag with him for the first time in a month it like. Clears up those clouds even more. And the cold just melts away. I have no idea what I’m getting at here I’m derailing and losing my train of thought but GODD dude fucking. Man

[apricot-the-apricat]

🍄hear me out what if boi died first instead of ara.

ohohoho i can finally answer this one now-

How would your OC react to the death of a friend? Is there anyone they can confide in?

gonna put this under a read more so here :]

OK SO first of all if she doesn't actually see him die she's permanently going to be in a state of denial, and would be fully aware of it too. She cannot bear the thought of losing another close friend and every time she would get brought to vacationland she would be desperately calling out to him for the first half an hour or so of the visit, and be looking around tryina find him, even if she knew it was pointless. Even if the possibility that he just ran off in another direction and she missed it or he didn't get teleported in got less and less likely with each visit. I think it would culminate in her being confronted by Syv or Luce about it (she would be avoiding them until then) and then breaking down crying on the floor of wherever they currently are the moment.

Now if she does see him die that's a whole different thing. She would try her hardest to be there for him and comfort him (and a whole lot of 'please dont go' and 'please dont leave me') and anything else she could do to help. If it was the same scenario as her death where they'd just gotten tp'd to vacationland and he was wounded she would be loudly calling out for help too, in the hope Syvie or someone who could heal him was there. Then when he did die she would immediately start crying over the body, she would let go of it unlike Yoku but she would just be curled up somewhere nearby the entire time anyway, crying her eyes out. I think when she starts getting brought back home she would try to hug him one last time, but when she touches him and feels how cold he suddenly is she would pause and start tearing up again and trembling. She would be back home before she got the chance to do anything more.

Either way when she gets back after knowing for sure that he's dead she would be completely devastated, to the point she'd stop taking care of herself. She'd just sit there on the floor for a good while, too sad to even move let alone do anything productive, except maybe going down to the wine cellar and passing out there. She would be doing a lot of drinking in general. I don't think she would be in a state to be doing any work or anything like that for a good while, or just anything beyond shambling around from room to room in the castle. All in all she would be taking it about as well as when she had first killed Maeve, just with less guilt. And even when she does get back to a functioning state she would feel completely empty inside and do everything very robotically, both at home and when she gets back to vacationland again and is with the others. She wouldn't be able to recover from the loss. He was the closest friend that she'd had in years afterall. And as always she had been left alone again.

[the-firebird69]

It says based on our estimate he can get up there at 1:00 so he wants to sit here in the dry cleaners and screw around with our son my husband that is for half an hour and try and mess up things like they did last time cuz they got somewhere so I can find a gauge and my personal life for you doing well or something happening then your plan is going and you never had one so my husband says cuz my life is so hard already and so many people are threatening that your threats are probably not your own anyway and everybody sees what you're doing and they're killing all your people and taking the money and your computers and your robots you don't have anything in Alice is not yours it's an old program and you're a retarded stuff the fell for David our dead stuff and Mac wants the stuff and it's the program is running and you're an idiot. So your claim to fame is you're going to come bothering the person is valuable to your own and say it every day and people should understand you are a detriment to your people a severe detriment like understand that you're such a huge loser that you shouldn't be around you have like shining moments where I have you go and ruin huge programs and yours I mean what a f****** a****** you are asking for it from someone who isn't that involved or aware and educated and you're you're a f****** a******. And my husband says that last paragraph and he's saying it in anger because he says it everyday we want this piece of s*** out of here the one dangling around our neck we arrives he's going to start dangling being this piece of cheese what a s*** head too send those ass from his elbow about any math it's really surprising that he has anything it's really a massive loser I'm not tell you what I'm tired of them coming in disguises every few seconds someone has to do something and in their realm we used to do so they decided not to the only thing we can assume is they're bothering the shower with some purpose the only thing is Mac is getting the s*** brotherhood and saying not to do it and his people are trying to stop him so look around the place was loaded with morons check full of these idiomack morons they don't give a s*** about anyone and they're plowing around town renting driving around in circles burning up all sorts of gas going nowhere to do nothing except harass people really getting sick of it it's been up a roadblock or two stop them from circling around they sometimes do is just that

Hera

Good exhausting nightmare but they're really saying to me and others like me is we can take you anytime we want and they can't really and when I say back is as soon as you drive out of you we're going to take you down it might be 5 minutes later but you're going to go down and they don't understand it at all because they're so dumb and they're losing power rapidly once they're out of power it's going to be over for them they don't understand that either so there's really no discipline right here where I am now I understand we have some measures here but I also understand there and severe deficit every single day for a year plus several months and in such a severe deficit me the leader of our kind ended up stuck in hurricane of a category 6 it got some winds that were like 180 miles an hour and there's no real reason for me to survive except we changed the makeup of the house I was living in and people are protecting me of our kind and these slabs are trying to kidnap me and tied it all up to the last second I couldn't get out I didn't know where to go I didn't have enough money or enough ability to transport myself to go anywhere and that situation is coming up again this very coming weekend I'm requesting help from everybody to pitch in on the project that affects all of us and for all eternity you'll be known as someone who assisted this is always someone watching you I found out my wife is watching me all the time she's a record keeper she takes all the meetings and everything without even asking her to do it he's on it

Zues

Also blocked the last part cuz I'm trying to hide it but seriously this is terrible and people have to start to understand that and Easter is coming up and the drop will occur at Easter and Mac might consider an Orlando vacation because it is Easter and this is not his area it seems to be more like area but it's really Tommy has the influence and he proved it last time so he's thinking about it

Hera

You know what to do in your efforts are helping but we see the correlation now and we understand that so far their schedule and things are messed up and we're actually pouring in he added projects and that doesn't care because these people are so unruly and the projects we added are helping we had 30,000 apartment complexes believe it or not in Florida all those projects are apartments well hotels condos and some motels the majority of them are apartment complexes they're about 15,000 with 500 units minimum that's a lot of units and we're going to deliver them ahead of time they gave us about a month and we think we can deliver all of them in the little less than three weeks and we are also working on new contracts that they just gave us the notice to proceed on. And they would be about 3,000 housing projects in housing we mean small condos of maybe 10 units or so or 50 units 100 units in a standalone and a house projects that have duplexes or single single family homes and there's 3,000 of those projects one of them is 15, 000 single family homes in Florida and you can drive around and get lost the place looks the same everywhere but there's a few club houses and a few all-purpose rooms like gyms and they have ability to rent them in their parties and from instas wedding ceremonies and parties afterwards and all sorts of things it's a humongous facility and yes it's up in Lakeland and they've been planning it for a long time and nobody can do it so we know how to do it we can do it and I tell you what it's a lot of fun with our sunrise it's a lot more fun he loves it he likes having fun he likes getting things done and that area there will not drop at all but we're going to beef up the footer and make a little thicker so we can jack if we have to and with packs it should be able to Jack without harming it but we're going to disconnect the utility jacket test and fix as required and only it only takes a few hours to fix a home but it takes a few weeks to build it and they're all going to be stickil by the way all these additional 3000 a lot of them have matched lots of mats and they're glad for the work and they need to be here and they said it's a critical time and it's a historical time and they're actually happy about it it's going to be a very interesting week but there's a lot of projects right now putting in about 10,000 slabs that's a lot of slabs. We're going to start the other 10,000 tomorrow because we started clearing the other day and so far they said we're ahead of schedule and we do know that it's true we have a lot of stuff to do it is a huge amount of work you don't want interruptions from all these idiots and we don't want them getting in our face and telling us all sorts of lives and rumors and stupid things too about nonsense I don't have time for this IDC and he sent it a million times they're in my face 100% of the day and I experienced it for a long time I'll tell you it's very disconcerting but they're saying is also very inflammatory and illegal. They're going around today for the different motif and they're doing things a bit differently than they were instead of just letting people walk all over our son they're trying to keep him out of here in the process they're pulling tons of them in a lot of people see it understand just leave them alone and go away and they won't trying to coordinate them off the others are and it doesn't seem to be working that great but at least they're trying there's a huge amount of people doing it and it's starting to become habitual meaning that there are going to be more and more and more and soon it will be a better decent place until then it's going to be harassing all the time

Thor Freya

It's a huge emotional drain to hear the stuff over and over and I'm trying to reduce it and I'm doing okay it isn't mine because I have to get involved and I have to event and get things done but there are several things going on that are at issue and one of them is constantly at his bike it is a constant threat the police are watching and monitoring and they got alerted again when he calls and Billy z showed up they said that's not right and they are checking on who people are and what they're doing and these two are not really that nice to him and they have a problem and I want to move him to a different laundromat and all sorts of stupid s*** it's like three more miles away and it's an impossible ride to begin with so we're going to do is take it out of them I'm starting already but thanks me you have to do it or becomes an issue like the other ones and started already getting to work a lot now

Hera

She showed me what they're saying in these they're very vulgar they're worse than men and yeah they inspire them to say all sorts of dumb things and they're going to explode one of these days and do this start beating the living crap out of them

Thor Freya it's funny to you but not to us and he says it's not funny to me at all the horrendous horrendous you get I get fist fights with them everyday if their men would stop them they're horrendous people and we know you know but okay that's what he says they say it too Freya

We're not leaving on this and we're going to start helping more and we really need to he's got some stuff that's going to start up the laundry and we are trying to hold them out with the idiots might show up and it's still going to be really tight for them already right now and they're going to ruin their day I'll tell you if they show up here at the laundromat they're days going to be ruined already got this b****** messing their day up their own day

Olympus

[tasteofthatgoodlife]

Days

(31 mayo 22)

9:30 pm

I shouldn't waste time. For I have no time left to waste.

I feel tired, but I can't lie down yet. I promised myself and her, I promised to turn it in on time. To apply.

I'm two weeks left. But the days, they don't feel like days. Rather like quick minutes. One after the other. I blink and Sunday's gone by. Monday is good on me still.

Today, today showed me gray. Like in a dream, when you can't walk or run. Your feet are heavy. Nothing is clear. You're conscious, but not in control.

I scream out, but a bare whisper comes out. Words lose all meaning. It's like I speak a thousand years behind. And I try to catch up with everybody else, but I'm barely making it by.

I keep marching. Senseless. Staring at the screen, following step by step. Never ending motion. Again and again. Shower, bedding, breakfast and makeup. Eight hours sucked out of my day, by a big white infinite plastic straw. It just slurps at my limited time, which isn't and will never really be mine.

I sit and feel my back yearning for the freed past. It creaks; it cries. When I walk I try not to give in. Like the surroundings are waiting for me to cave in. But I don't cave in. I keep walking. To my seat, to make myself some coffee, to the bathroom where I take one minute of freedom and air, and back to my seat again.

Some days, I feel like everything that happens has a purpose. That it's going to lead somewhere. Other days, I realize that things just are, and I'm stuck with myself and the way I feel. That I have to live with the conscious awareness of what I am. And that I have to face what I feel every day. Gulp it down. Gulp it down, and carry on.

[watchmegetobsessed]

BABY MAMA

A/N: woke up and just knew i needed to write about dad Harry, bc lets be honest, he is my fav. this fic is perfectly fine as a oneshot, but if you'd like, it could be a sequel to Grammy Winner Husband and Baby Grammy, i wrote things to line up with them!

PAIRING: Husband!Harry / Dad!Harry x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2k

masterlist

The arena is blowing up, the fans are screaming from the top of their lungs and Harry is putting out a show just as good as the previous ones have been. He is blowing the stage up, singing, dancing, joking around with the fans, enjoying this time he gets to spend with the people who got him to this point in his life. He’ll never be not grateful for what he has, what he is experiencing, no matter how hard this life can get sometimes.

“Dallas, how are you feeling tonight?” he asks in the mic as he walks back to his water bottle to have a few sips. The crowd erupts, the screams almost burst his eardrums, but he just chuckles, easing his thirst with some water before he returns to the microphone stand.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he teasingly asks, though the reaction is the same. Insane screaming. “Alright, let’s move this show on before you get bored,” he chuckles playfully, the band starts playing the next song and he is back at what he does the best. Performing.

Though not far from the arena, there’s someone who thinks there’s something he is even better at than performing. That person is you, and you’re one hundred percent sure Harry is best at being a father to your five months old son.

Owning the stage, putting out the utter best he can, Harry’s thoughts still wander away from the show he is supposed to be focusing on. He can’t help it, his instincts are just completely drawn to his baby in the hotel suit, dying to know how he is doing. Leaving for the show late afternoon was harder than usually, because baby Theo was having a fever and coughing quite badly. His heart was breaking that he couldn’t help his son, didn’t even know what could be done for such a tiny baby.

“Love, he’ll be alright, okay? The doctor is on the way, it’s gonna be fine,” you told him gently as he was cradling Theo to his naked chest, always so eager to be skin-to-skin with him. Harry kissed his soft little curls on top of his head before nodding, though you knew it was eating him away.

“Call me or Jeff if something happens, okay?” he told you, handing Theo over to you, who was finally asleep after fussing for hours.

“I will,” you nodded, but he cupped your face to make you look at him.

“Y/N, I mean it. I’ll come off the stage if—“

“You won’t come off the stage, Theo is gonna be fine, he just probably got a cold from the aircon at the greenroom in Denver. He’ll be here when you get back, okay?”

He knew this tone, this was your momma bear voice and he would never argue with you when you used it, so he just nodded, kissed you and then Theo’s chubby cheek before heading out.

Now as he is nearing the end of the show he can’t help but think about finally being back at the hotel with his wife and baby, though he won’t let it be seen how eager he is to get off the stage.

The last song passes, the whole arena blows up from the energy and he is throwing kisses everywhere as he heads off the stage, down the aisle that leads him backstage. As he puts on his mask he turns around one last time, throwing some more kisses around to his beloved fans before disappearing behind the curtains.

“Did she call?” he instantly asks Jeff instantly, who hands him his phone over, a text from you already waiting for him.

Doc just left, everything is fine, left some meds for bub. Love you Xx

Even though this is what you told him before too, he feels relieved that the doctor confirmed it, but he still can’t wait to see the two of you.

“Alright, get the car ready, I’m leaving in ten,” he tells Jeff.

“Got it,” he nods, not even daring to argue with him. He knows better than to stand between Harry and his baby.

His legs bounce nervously on his way back to the hotel and he jumps out of the car as if it was on fire, running inside in a rush. He swipes the keycard through the reader on the door and opens it quietly, scanning over the place for you and Theo and there you are, sitting in one of the armchairs with his sleeping son in your arms, your hand gently tapping on his bum. You must have just finished feeding him, because a rag is still thrown over your shoulder and your shirt is all wrinkled around your chest. Theo loves playing with the fabric while you breastfeeding him and Harry loves watching his tiny fingers grab onto it and massaging it aimlessly.

“Hey,” he breathes out, quietly pushing the door closed behind him before he walks over, kneeling in front of you. He kisses Theo’s forehead first, before pressing his lips to yours too. “How is bub feeling?”

“He is doing good. The doc gave him some meds for the fever and we have a syrup for the coughing. He said he’ll be fine in a few days,” you softly explain to him, nodding towards everything the doctor left you on the coffee table.

Harry grabs the bottles, inspecting them as if he knows anything about medicine and you can’t help but smile as he furrows his eyebrows, reading the packaging.

“Want to put him to bed?” you ask him, his head snapping up right away.

“Of course,” he nods eagerly. You both stand up and he carefully takes the little boy from your arms without waking him up. “Hey bubs, I missed you,” he coos at Theo and as you watch him sway with the sleeping baby, your heart could easily burst from just the sight of them.

You didn’t know what life would be like as a family of three. After Harry posted a picture of you with his Grammy award and your belly ready to pop, the whole world went crazy over the fact that Harry Styles is going to be a dad. Despite the buzz, you managed to stay hidden for the rest of your pregnancy and just three weeks after that post, Theodore Styles decided to come to the world. Harry cancelled everything for the first two months, it was just the three of you, showering in the joys of parenthood. You had all the ups and downs, but you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Then tour got rescheduled and Harry was hesitant whether it was a good idea to go on the road with a five months old.

“Sarah and Mitch are coming too, she gave birth a week after me,” you reasoned when Harry was about to cancel the whole tour. It took you some time to convince him that it’s gonna be fine, though you knew he would be extra cautious with Theo.

Now as you see him gently sway his way to the bassinet next to your bed, knowing that he just performed to thousands of people and now he is here with you and your son, you wouldn’t change it to some peace at home. Besides, you’re convinced tour is gonna do good for Theo, make him get used to people around him, not just the two of you or the grandparents and aunts. During the first night in Vegas, he barely spent an hour in your arms, everyone wanted a piece of him and you gladly let them befriend him, especially because he loves meeting new people, just like his daddy.

As Harry lays him into the bassinet and stands next to it with a lovesick smile on his face, you sneak behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He smells so fresh, he surely had a quick shower before heading back to the hotel, but you’re already planning to seduce him to join you for a quick shower as well. He won’t say no.

“Watched a livestream for a bit, you were so good,” you hum, kissing his right shoulder blade and you don’t miss how he leans back against you. “Loved the shimmery outfit.”

“Yeah?” he chuckles softly. Reaching around, he pulls you forwards so he can wrap you in his arms, kissing your forehead gently. “I missed seeing you dance at the side,” he smirks at you and you don’t miss the reference to the old times.

On his first solo tour, when you weren’t even married yet he often caught you dancing like crazy at the side of the stage, it would always make him laugh mid-song and you loved hearing his giggles through the mic, so you often did it on purpose. A few nights ago in Vegas you did the same, but with Theo in your arms, a massive ear protector on his head so the noise didn’t hurt him. When Harry spotted you, he almost started crying, he mouthed I love youand then carried on with the show.

“I’ll be there soon,” you smile at him, cupping his face in your hands to pull him down for a kiss that’s more than just a peck. “Now, I need help with something,” you mumble against his lips.

“Anything, baby.”

“I need you to help me shower,” you tell him cheekily. He pulls back and stares down at you with a playful grin, his hands already wandering under your shirt.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah, I need someone to wash my back and… maybe somewhere else,” you hum seductively and start pulling him towards the bathroom, peeking at Theo one last time, but he is sleeping so deep, the two of you can have some alone time.

“Alright, I could never deny anything from my favorite milf,” he grins, but you smack his chest with a gasp.

“Harry! I told you not to call me that!” you protest, the two of you walking into the bathroom not to bother the sleeping baby in the room. You start running the water right away so it can be nice and hot for you when you walk in.

“Why? You are a milf,” he smirks, so full of himself, already pulling his shirt over his head.

“Then you’re a dilf, just so you know.”

“Baby, my fans have been calling me that for years, even before Theo,” he chuckles softly.

“You were destined to be a dad,” you giggle, getting rid of your own clothes. “Hey, if Theo feels better tomorrow, we could maybe take a walk in that park we saw on the way here,” you suggest, but when no answer comes, you look at Harry and find him just standing there, fully naked, staring at you grinning widely. “What?” you ask, glancing down at your own naked body. Suddenly, you are way too aware of the weight you haven’t been able to lose after giving birth, the stretch marks on your waist and how you’re not at all freshly shaved. Just as you’d move your hands to cover yourself a bit, Harry grabs your wrists and stops you.

“You are so fucking gorgeous, baby,” he hums, dropping his head until his lips could reach yours.

“Stop being such a flirt,” you giggle, feeling your face heating up.

“It’s the truth! I have the prettiest baby mama and that’s a fact.”

He looks at you with so much love and adoration in those beautiful green eyes, it almost makes you cry, knowing that this man is your husband and you get to spend the rest of your life with him.

Wrapping your arms around his neck you kiss him hard, pulling him into the spacious walk in shower.

“Then come and get your baby mama wet,” you giggle against his lips, making him laugh with the ambiguous request as he shuts the glass door behind him, his lips hungrily kissing wherever he can reach and you’re pretty sure the hot water is not the only thing that’s steaming up the glass.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[bokugaos]

msby main 5! strapping you to a sybian <33

tw — gangbang, sybian, restraints, overstimulation, multiple orgasm, facefucking, gagging, blow jobs (m. receiving)

your chest is heaving as you calm down from another orgasm. how many times have they pushed your body to the edge? you’re.. you’re not sure anymore.

it is difficult to focus on it when all you have to go on is the spasming of your muscles which haven’t quite stopped around the third time they were teased into contracting until you bit your tongue almost bloody.

your thighs are shaking, trying to push against the bonds keeping you on the infernal thrumming seat, but you’re weak. you can’t do anything but have your whole weight on the sybian, pushing the vibe in deeper. its humming against you is making you go cross-eyed. it is aching now. definitely aching.

“p… please stop.. it’s enough, right?” you try. you don’t talk back to them most of the time and there is no use in getting upset now. they have been ignoring all your pleadings since you were woken up by your first orgasm.

you think it was your first. you’re not so sure anymore.

you’re not sure how they even managed to drag you from your bedroom to wherever this is without you being aware of anything.

they have their face turned towards you but are not reacting one way or another. you’re not sure they are even listening to you. meian has a remote in his fist with which he uses to manipulate the speed and intensity of the toy you are sitting on, but he hasn’t changed anything in a while.

as your muscles start failing you, you are forced to sit on the base of the vibe they pushed into your asshole, making it vibrate with the sybian. you feel yourself going cross-eyed, your belly muscles clenching pathetically as all those sweet little nerves in your entrance are being stimulated.

you’re not used to this. not at all.

bokuto likes to stick his cock up your ass every once in a while as atsumu’s got you bouncing on his cock or when you’re riding his face, but...

shit. you can already feel another one coming. your toes are curling to the point of spasming muscle pains. you try to gather yourself enough to regain some control over your thighs, but there is nothing to be done about it. your body is failing you.

someone moves. you raise your head by a mere inch, just enough to see sakusa come closer towards you.

you stare at him with teary eyes as you start sagging to one side on the saddle you’re strapped on. there’s no way for you to slip off this infernal thing.

you watch as sakusa begins to open his pants, his cock springing free, which he shows off to you. he curls a hand around it and gives it a few pumps, the slick red head is pointed right at your face.

he waits for a moment, as if to give you some time to take in the beauty of his dick after leaving you all alone with the sybian for this long, then reach out and fist fingers in your hair.

you are pulled forward, and you open your mouth without a token protest. tears are at the corners of your eyes as you look up at his torso, your own body on fire as you try to fight against yet another orgasm. you hiccup noisily with the cock still in your mouth, your fingers flexing and clenching into tight, big fists again.

it’s a fucking sight, it is, watching sakusa feed his thick cock into your mouth, and watching your eyelashes flutter in contentment and your pussy gushing some more.

about a half an hour ago, you may have still had a chance of getting into heaven. that has officially gone out of the window.

sakusa is staring down at you without expression. there is no sound coming forth. no reaction. you suckle and play your tongue across the tip, but he is simply staring down at him, not moving one way or another, letting you fuck your mouth on his cock while you try so very hard not to come.

you’ve taken as much of sakusa’s cock as you can into your mouth, but he’s still barely showing you any reaction. instead, he motions for hinata to come closer. and once the latter is kneeling next to you, he takes his hand and presses it to your abdomen and pushes down, forcing you at a different angle.

your eyes fly open and you groan around sakusa’s cock, grinding your hips down on the rubber dick in earnest now.

“good girl,” the curly-haired murmurs, almost absentmindedly. you catch the way hinata’s cock twitches at that, although the man is focused on seeing your eyes water up, whether it’s from the cock in your throat or the praise, he doesn’t know.

you keen in the back of your throat and sakusa throws his head back at the vibrations it sends up his shaft.

he loses control of his hips for a moment and thrusts shallowly into your mouth. your knuckles go whiter where they’re gripped onto the sybian.

“should we turn the speed up?” hinata says, voice lower than you’ve heard it in a while.

sakusa looks down and nods right as you hear atsumu chimes in, “yeah? i bet she’s gonna like that.”

you look up through your eyelashes, tears streaming down the sides of your face. god, you’re a sight like this, with your mouth stuffed full of cock and holding onto the vibrating machine like your life fucking depends on it. you look desperate and like you will come any minute. you keep yourself awake as best you can and take sakusa down further as if to emphasize it.

spit and precum drip off your chin and onto the machine you’re straddling every time you move your tongue, trying your best to make sakusa come even though you fear you might lose all control of your body once you reach another climax. and you’re so close.

you feel like you’re not going to live through another orgasm.

the machine slows down and your eyes roll to the back of your head, momentarily satiated. sakusa steps away, and you use this opportunity to catch your breath, until you realize with a jerk that you have to try to move away. the machine keeps buzzing on a low hum beneath you. your skin is damp with sweat as hinata strokes over the curve of your thigh and runs his fingers through the thatch of your curls with a smile. "you must be so sensitive right now."

your mouth curves in an exhausted smile in hopes of igniting pity in him as you shift on the sybian, trying and failing to lessen the stimulation.

and then meian kicks the dial, turning it to full power.

your eyes fly open and your mouth opens in a violent scream. your back bow dramatically and you come in an instant, continually making loud, wailing noises somewhere between screams and cries. it looks like someone reaches inside you and pulls the few weak spurts of cum out of you. it looks painful.

you’re whimpering and crying, cunt still gushing, but you manage to speak. “n-no… more, p-please..!” your words are incredibly slurred and you can’t open your eyes, but you’re conscious enough to form a sentence. you sob, moving weakly on the rubber cock still buried inside your ass like you can’t help it.

even after what you just said, you still seem to want it, that or your body isn’t even listening to your brain anymore.

you’re positively sobbing, but they’ve never seen you this desperate, it seems hypnotizing.

you’re a writhing mess, looking like you want nothing more than to just fucking come so they’ll stop. actually, that curling in your stomach is eerily familiar.

“alright, my turn,” bokuto says, and at the sound of his voice you drag your eyes open and manage to tilt your head downward to hide yourself. bokuto is standing over you with his hips to your face, and his cock is a fucking mess, red and twitching, coated in cum and precum.

he softly cards his fingers through your hair. you look up at him through your lashes, and tears webbed in them that catches the light. he pitches his hips forward, getting you even messier than you already are as you slobber all over his cock.

you moan in frustration, a distressed sound. you probably can’t even feel the vibrations at this setting after how long you’ve been on it by now. you’re crying in earnest, not just tears from taking bokuto’s cock but actual, real, fat tears rolling down your cheeks.

sweat drips down your chest and mixes with the now dried cum on your lower abdomen. you’re in absolute hysterics, bucking down on the light vibrations like you want to get away, and you keep chanting pleas for them to show you mercy, and you’re not even sure if you want them to.

“one more, sweet girl, you’re gonna be so good for us,” meian decides, moving for the dial and turning it up again, notch by notch.

it is all an uphill battle, of course. one you are destined to lose. you sob when your aching body starts spasming once more, your hole clenching around the unfamiliar thick presence spreading you open, body convulsing and out of your control as tears stream down your cheeks and the air freezes in your lungs.

your back curves the opposite direction, sending you hunching forward. your scream is muffled, sweat drips down your face and the side of your mouth, which is still stretched around bokuto’s cock. meian turns the dial once more, and then a final time. you squeak, like there’s so much pressure in your lungs that’s all that could escape, your entire body is twitching violently.

you think bokuto is at least pulling his cock out of your throat for the duration. you’re not entirely sure. everything goes dark around him as you spasm in your orgasm.

[renuqi]

little intimate things.

⤷ osamu miya, shirabu kenjiro, kunimi akira x gn!reader (seperate) warnings: none! teeth rotting fluff for my fav underrated boys <33

- [ ♡ ] osamu miya

‒ sneaking extra food onto your plate when you aren't looking

‒ finding joy in seeing you jump at the feeling of his cold hands cupping your waist

‒ making your bentos before he goes to sleep every night, just to deliver it to you in the morning (atsumu always tries to take some but his hand gets slapped away)

‒ kissing the tears off of your face

‒ you being his #1 motivator, how can he do anything when you're not there!!!!!! (he uses it as an excuse to see you when he doesn't want to do his work)

‒ find a way to bring you up in EVERY conversation between him and his brother pls (atsumu is tired of u T_T)

‒ if you're reading a book, he will set you on his lap so he can read with you

‒ he will never forget to let you know he loves you with all of his heart at least once a day, whether it be through his bentos, words of affirmation or physical touch because he knows how it feels to feel neglected :( (DO THE SAME TO HIM OR ELSE)

‒ has every recipe for your favourite dishes saved somewhere on his phone for whenever you come over.

‒ bby is attention starved he will do anything to make u happy so pls do the same

(kunimi and shirabu under the cut)

- [ ♡ ] shirabu kenjiro

‒ if you fall asleep before you finish your homework, he will finish it for u

‒ but the next morning he will call you annoying and ur just like T_T

‒ even if he doesn't like attention and flaunting your relationship in public he will always have you in his arms when you two are alone

‒ reminds himself to be more gentle with you, he's aware of how he can get a little ahead of himself sometimes and will do anything in his power to stop himself from hurting you

‒ he has a grocery list of your favourite snacks saved on his phone so every time he goes shopping, he will be fully stocked the next time you come over.

‒ lets his hair grow out and pretends to forget to stop by the barber's shop just so you can cut it for him because he thinks it doesn't look good unless you do it </3

‒ can only study if you are sitting on his lap while his arms are wrapped around your frame while he's sitting at his desk.

‒ before every test or exam he buys you flowers, candy, or a stuffed toy with a card that includes a 'good luck' message AWEGDHSBG

‒ he loves it when you initiate things first bc he knows for sure ur comfortable w him and that he's treating you right <3

‒ has prob never been in a relationship before so pls be understanding w him he doesn't want to lose you :((

- [ ♡ ] kunimi akira

‒ even if he doesnt like doing more work than he needs to he will run around the WHOLE WORLD FOR U A MILLION TIMES OVER

‒ uses his exaggerated 'lazy reputation' as an excuse to always cuddle u <3

‒ during lunch hours he will take u to an empty storage room or the rooftop so you guys can take a nap in peace :(

‒ he will usually have you in between his legs while his back is against the wall and you're sitting on your calves

‒ he WILL NOTICE THE LITTLEST THINGS ABT UUUU esp if you haven't been sleeping much </3

‒ since he's LITERALLY 6 FEET TALL he will bend down so he's at eye level w u and rub his thumbs along your eye bags AEGUKADJBGADBNG:AERG

‒ when you're tired he will set you on his back and take you wherever you need to go :( he will do anything and everything for u

‒ when the ball team asks about his s/o he acts pretty nonchalant abt it but he is trying so hard not to spew everything he loves about you right then and there

‒ WILL ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE BEFORE DOING SOMETHING

‒ says things like "is this okay?" "we can go home if you want" "you don't have to do this if you don't want to" guys i love him.

main masterlist <3

haikyuu masterlist <3

reblogs appreciated !! have a lovely day/night <3

[yunoysl]

Wanna be yours | jjh

Summary: having an attractive roommate is one thing, but being friends with benefits with them is something that is bound to go wrong.

Pairing: roommate!jaehyun x fem!reader

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: masterbation, sexual tension, voyeurism?, unprotected sex, bulge kink, creampie, not completely proofread!

When you first asked your friend group if there was anyone they knew that needed a place to stay, you didn’t expect for him to be insanely attractive, and you also didn’t expect to become friends with benefits with him. You’re not complaining—he’s AMAZING in bed. Not just is the foreplay good and have you riled up and wet within a few minutes, but the degrading and aftercare have you wanting more.

“Y/N, are you going to workout with me today?”

“No, I’m too tired today” you tell him as you pick up a popsicle from the freezer. “I’ll just watch you workout and do it vicariously through you”

“Well alright, you won’t get the results you want but whatever suits you” he tells you as he sets his exercise mat in the living room.

“Aren’t you gonna take off your shirt?”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you” you would slap that smirk off his face if you could.

“Jaehyun!”

“I’m joking calm down, and no, I do that later on when I start getting really sweaty”

“Oh, well then carry on”

You decide to go on your phone so you don’t have to watching him and inflating his ego by having him reaping with something obnoxious like “take a picture so you can use it for later”

You were so preoccupied, scrolling through your social media and texting back and fourth with your friends. When you looked up you didn’t expect to see the imprint of his cock in his grey sweats. Yes, Jaehyun was big, very very big, but you never thought it was to the point where you could very clearly see the imprint of him in his sweats—and his sweats are nowhere near being tight fitting, so it’s definitely taking you by surprise.

You were in a trance—watching him lift weights, the way the veins in his hands popped out had you swallowing. He could easily manhandle you however he wanted. You couldn’t stop staring at his crotch.

Jaehyun’s grunts are what bring you back to earth.

You decide to get up and leave before you do something stupid.

You weren’t aware, but Jaehyun knew you were staring. And yes, it did inflate his ego, which is not what you wanted.

You left Jaehyun alone to help your best friend with her wedding. You didn’t think you would enjoy it at first—expecting it to be boring and drag on a long time and praying for it to end, but you were actually having a really fun time. You liked helping her pick out what kind of flowers to have, what kind of dress she would like to have for the braidsmaids, and you were especially excited for the cake tasting.

“So Y/N, how have you and Jaehyun been doing?”

Her question took you by big surprise. She obviously is aware about what you have going on with your so called hot roommate Jaehyun who you now have a friends with benefits relationship with—she’s the one who suggested him be your roommate.

“We’re good, still living together”

“Still fucking?”

“Umm, not as much anymore”

“Not as much? What? Were you doing it every day”

“Not everyday, don’t be insane. Three times a week at the most” you would definitely do it everyday with him, heck even he has suggested to do it everyday, but you don’t have the kind of stamina that he has.

“Have you made a move?”

“I don’t like him”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, it’s very obvious there’s some feelings there. I’m your best friend you can’t hide things from me” Of course you should’ve known that you can’t keep anything from her. The amount of times she has figured things out without you even telling her.

“Well if nothings going on, is he seeing someone?”

“Why would he be seeing someone?”

“Because you two aren’t dating? If you don’t make a move on him someone else will” you hate that the thought of him seeing someone had you not only upset but also jealous, wanting to fight whoever she is—wait she doesn’t even exist. You’re going crazy, he’s making you crazy.

“Can we talk about something else besides my lack of a love life” she smiles teasingly at you, almost in an evil way, knowing she hit a nerve with the question of him being with someone that’s not you.

“It wouldn’t be lacking if you stopped being stubborn, but fine. So, did you like the marble cake or the chocolate champagne more?”

You’re currently in the kitchen doing dishes. Today is your turn to do the dishes but you actually don’t mind it, you find it calming and relaxing. The room is very quiet considering Jaehyun isn’t there to bother you every 5 minutes by poking your cheeks to tell you he’s bored and to pay attention to him. Of course peace and quiet doesn’t last long living with Jung Jaehyun, as he soon steps into the kitchen wearing just a towel- wait, he’s wearing just a towel!

“Why are you wearing just a towel?!” You squeak as you cover your eyes with the lose towel hanging off a chair.

“I just took a shower” you felt Jaehyun’s presence, assuring you that he’s now behind you. “And why are you covering your eyes, you’ve seen me naked already”

“Jaehyun, that gross”

“That’s not what you usually say when I’m plowing you into my bed”

“Jaehyun I will kill you”

“Okay I’ll stop teasing you, for now. Do we still have the ice cream cake from Jeno’s birthday”

“That was over a month ago”

“Food is food” he’s staring at you wanting for you to answer his question.

“Gross, it’s in the freezer”

He hurries to the freezer, eager to have something sweet in his mouth. Of course he would prefer if it was you, but he’ll take what he can get.

“Are you sure you should be eating it?”

“Mind your business” he playfully snaps at you.

“If you need to go to the doctor because of it I’m not taking you” rolling his eyes in fake annoyance, he dives right into the last bit of cake there’s left.

You go back to washing the last few dishes there are left, not sparing Jaehyun a glance.

When you finally finish you’re relieved, excited to have one thing from your to do list done.

You notice Jaehyun in his own world, living his best life with the Oreo ice cream cake.

He licks the frosting off from his fingers, the veins in his hand popping out and having you feeling a type of way. You swallow, the sexual frustration getting the best of you as you imagine what his fingers could be doing. And it doesn’t help that he’s still in just a towel. You swear he’s doing it on purpose.

“Enjoying the show?” Jaehyun’s voice bring you back, seeing the way his eyes have darkened with lust now.

“N-No I’m fine” your voice shakes. Damn it.

“I don’t think you are” he walks towards you until he’s towering over you.

“You don’t know anything”

“No, but I do know you would love it if my fingers were licking someone sweeter that isn’t frosting, is that right? Or would you prefer is they were somewhere else? Somewhere that’s probably soaking wet?” He pulls your bottom lip with his thumb, making you suck on him. The way your tongue circles around him has him getting instantly hard. The eye contact you two told has your legs almost shaking.

You finally come to your senses, taking his fingers out of you mouth and running to your bedroom, painfully horny.

When you lay on your bed, you don’t waste much time you shove your fingers inside of you, wishing and imagination that it was Jaehyun’s fingers instead of yours. You quickly pump your fingers in and out, closing your eyes and picturing Jaehyun on top of you, enjoying the sight of your moans escaping your lips as he gets you off with just his fingers. Your trying your best to keep your moans low, feeling your climax about to wash over you. A few more pumps is all it takes to have your body shaking, your climax hitting you like a waterfall.

You didn’t check to make sure the door was all the way shut, making Jaehyun see and hear everything.

The sight of you getting yourself off with your fingers has him painfully hard. Jaehyun has to shower again, but this time not because he’s dirty or anything.

Jaehyun wraps his hand around his hard and angry cock, pumping up and down rapidly to reach his high. Is he ashamed to be getting off to the sight of his incredibly hot roommate? No, and it’s also not the first time, nor does he think it will be the last. He twists his hand to get off quickly, not wanting you to find out he showered again after already taking one not even two hours ago and questioning him.

You’re so fucking hot it makes him horny.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” he gasps as the cold water hits his body. He pumps faster, his vision getting blurry as he releases onto the shower floor, the water washing it away and down the drain. He’s breathing heavily, acting like he actually just had sex. Now he actually does have to clean himself.

“Noooo” you whine to Jaehyun as he’s in the middle of picking out a movie to watch for movie night. “I don’t wanna watch a horror movie.”

“Why not? We watched one last week and you weren’t whining about it then”

“The ones you pick out are disturbing”

“Fine” he decides to play an action movie instead. “You’re such a baby”

“I hate you”

“Not what you were saying a few weeks ago”

“Just pick a movie” you leave him to make a bag of popcorn. When you come back he’s already sat on the couch, sitting there looking so cute and comfortable with his big grey hoodie and cheeks looking a lot like soft bread.

You remember the conversation you had with your best friend.

“What are you doing?” Jaehyun asks you when you sit on the other side of the couch away from him instead of making yourself comfortable in his arms like you usually do.

“I’m sitting down?”

“Nooo” he does grabby hands at you. “Come cuddle with me like you always do”

“And I’m the baby?”

“Just shut up and cuddle me” he pulls you into his side, laying his head on your shoulder and wrapping his hands around you.

You both really enjoyed the movie, Jaehyun occasionally making snarks remarks at the screen, but it’s not something new to you.

The movie finally ends, the ending credits rolling when he gets a call. He excuses himself to go to his room.

You figure you should clean up so you can head to bed and sleep. You’re walking past Jaehyun’s bedroom heading to yours when you pause, you don’t know what possessed you to listen in on his conversation, but you did.

“Are you going to make a move on her” you hear Johnny’s voice through the small gap in the door.

“I don’t know, I don’t even think she feels the same way” Jaehyun is sitting on his bed, rubbing his face in frustration. Whoever this girl is she must be special for him to be doing that. He’s usually someone who is good at hiding when he’s upset or frustrated.

“You’ll never know unless you tell her”

“Okay I will, soon”

Johnny’s loud sigh can be heard.

“I give up on you”

“How the hell are you sexually frustrated?” You’re on a video call with Mark. You all tell him everything, and when you first told him about the friends with benefits thing you started with Jaehyun, he wasn’t too happy about it, as you’re someone who easily catches feelings—remembering all the times you had fallen for someone new. It would be at the simplest gesture, like holding the door open for you or picking up your pen that fell on the floor.

“I just am. I haven’t done it with anyone in two weeks”

“Oh poor you” he’s mocking you, and you want to smack him in the face. “also, don’t you and Jaehyun have a thing going on?”

“Yeah- well we did”

“You did?”

“I overheard him talking with Johnny about having a crush and having feelings for this girl”

“Oh damn”

“Yeah, I just don’t wanna get in the way of that”

Mark isn’t able get anything out before you hear a knock at your door.

“Can we talk” Jaehyun’s voice is heard through the closed door.

“Oh, sure” you yell out to Jaehyun while hurrying to fix your hair. “Bye Mark”

“You’re hanging up on me? What happened to bros before hoe-“ you don’t let Mark finish his sentence.

“Come in” Jaehyun opens your door, and sits next to you on the bed.

“I wanted to walk to you about our relationship”

“I want to talk to you about that too. We should stop”

“What? Why?” He scared at you confused, wondering why you would want to stop something that was going so well—or so he thought.

“I know you like someone”

“You found out”

“Yeah. It was good while it lasted, but I don’t wanna get in the way of you and this girl-“

“Wait you really don’t know? You’re not just acting dumb to tease me?”

“Know what?”

“You’re the girl I like”

“Oh-OH!” You’re taken by complete shock. You never thought that someone like Jaehyun, who is so attractive and popular, would like someone like you. You thought the most you would have with him is sleeping together.

You both stare at each other before leaning in, your lips colliding. Your lips tangle with each other, tongues exploring each other’s mouths.

Jaehyun pulls away to kiss your neck, sucking and leaving mark’s on your skin.

“I’m going to make you feel like the most precious thing in the world” He starts kissing you again, pushing you down onto the bed and crawling on top of you. It doesn’t take long you you both to be naked. His gaze was dark and filled with lust. He rubs his tip up and down your slit before sinking into you. He gives you time to adjust before thrusting his hips repeatedly into you. The feeling this time is very different from all the others—usually it’s loveless and fast, eager to get each other to finish. But this time it’s full of love. He watches his cock go in and out of your pussy, the sight of you taking him making him even harder.

He thrusts into you harshly, sexually frustrated from you both not doing it for two weeks.

“Such a good girl for me” You clench around him as he ruts his cock into you. Jaehyun is smug, fueled by the fact that only he can make you feel this way. Quiet moans leave his lips while laying kisses on your neck.

“Fuck, you fill me up so well” You moan into his ear as he continuously sinks into you. You feel so full as his cock hits you in all the right places. His cock leaves a bulge in your lower tummy, having him almost passing out from the pleasure. Every moan you let out got him closer and closer to his high.

You both feel each other about to finish, making you wrap your hands around his neck for support as his pace starts to get sloppy.

“You’re going to take everything I give you, okay? Come all over my cock” Your whimpers have both of you finishing at the same time, his load filling you to the brim.

His warm cum coats your walls as you come down from your high. He pulls out once he’s done, starting at himself leaking out out of you. He puts up his shirt from the floor to clean you up, your pussy still sensitive from the penetration he just gave you.

Once he’s done he pulls you into his side, smiling at you and having his dimples pop out. You both get comfortable into bed, happy and excited for the new life you have together.

[221bshrlocked]

taste you on my tongue

Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Reader

Words: 9441 (I can’t fucking write anything shorter I’m sorry)

Warnings: Angst and Smut. Helmet is on and then it’s off. Oral (male receiving). Soft then rough sex. Breeding kink. Touch kink. Hand kink? Dirty/Sweet Talk. Mando feels primal when he sees you wearing his shirt and flirting with someone that isn’t him.

Summary: The Revenant was a fairly spacious gunship compared to others and you prided yourself in keeping it running for this long, especially after you were told it would soon lose its “life force.” But when a certain Mandalorian and his foundling join your ship following a disastrous mission, you find that the Revenant isn’t as big as you initially thought. In fact, it is much less private than you wish to admit and you find yourself escaping to a cantina one night to avoid the bounty hunter who isn’t aware of the effect he has on you. The problem is, the Mandalorian doesn’t like to share anything with anyone, and that rule applies to you. Unfortunately (or perhaps luckily) for you, you learn about this rule the hard way.

A/N: I hope yall like these because I’m currently spiraling down a Din Djarin hole and I’m not remotely apologetic. Let me know how it is in the comments and how I can make the smut better or the characterization better. Please, I can’t improve unless yall tell me what I’m doing wrong. Also, I promise to write more smut than angst next time. Enjoy :) And @purple-mango​ sorry it wasn’t as rough as you probably hoped, I was feeling soft Din but mark my words, the next one will be rough.

The obnoxious laughter coming from one of the corners of the cantina made you shake your head as the tavern-keeper approached you and motioned towards your glass. He smiled when you enthusiastically nodded and held out the finished drink, silently asking him to pour some more of the Tevraki whiskey because there was nothing you wanted more than to forget the past few months.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There was something, or rather someone, that you wanted more than your need to set aside what’s been going on since that shitshow of a showdown on Tatooine. Coincidentally, or perhaps ironically, that someone had to do with what happened on the desert planet. You smiled at the man in front of you who knew better than to argue about how many drinks you’ve downed thus far. 

As the thoughts slithered back to the source of your frustration, you couldn’t help but let your eyes take in your surroundings, shamelessly hoping to find someone who could fill that deep-seated need seeping through your chest and into your heart. No one would compare to him of course, and you knew that very well. But you couldn’t stand another hour on that ship without scratching that itch that’s been bothering you ever since he joined your ship with that annoyingly cute green goblin. You took a sip and returned your attention to the man wiping down the counter in front of you, already thinking of just skipping all the pleasantries and going back to his place.

“If you point him out to me, I can pay him a visit later and roughen him up a bit.” He leaned over and pointed behind you, pouring himself a shot of some weird blue drink before moving in closer to you again.

“Sorry?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what he was referring to or if you had even begun a conversation with him.

“The sleemo that rejected you sweetheart. Why else would you be drowning in my best stuff?” He winked at you and you barely managed to not visibly gag at the ways his eyes raked over your form. Did he think this was the way to flirt?

“Maybe I just love drinking liquid fire, sweetheart. Have you thought of that?” You hoped you weren’t being too sarcastic with him because if there was the slightest chance of getting laid tonight, then you were going to do everything in your power to take it and run considering how there was no chance of you asking your now-permanent “roommate” for those kinds of services. 

“Maybe. Either way, I’d love to help you forget about that sucker.” You took a deep breath and willed yourself to not punch him in the eye because the thought of being able to forget about the beskar-clad bounty hunter, even for a few hours only, sounded incredibly pleasant.

“Oh aren’t you sweet? So selfless and confident too.” You forced a smile before downing the rest of the whiskey and tapping on the glass again. If you were going to get fucked by someone like him, you needed at least three more drinks or else you wouldn’t be able to imagine the Mandalorian in his place. You chuckled at the depressing thought because here you were trying to forget about the man himself and yet went out of your way to make sure you were sort of able to pretend he was the one showing you the stars. 

“Believe me darling, my intentions are strictly...honorable.” He poured you another drink and took a shot with you, his eyes widening in shock when you didn’t bother to wait another second before downing the whole glass in one go. 

“Damn baby, he hurt you that bad?” You raised an eyebrow at his inquiry and didn’t know why the question bothered you so much. As much as you hated to admit it, the answer was a hard yes. 

“Hah, hurt doesn’t even begin to cover it. And you know what the worst part is? He doesn’t even know he’s doing it.” You didn’t bother to ask him for another drink, jumping on top of the counter before leaning down and grabbing the whiskey bottle from the shelf right in front of his knees. 

“You mean he’s still here?” He didn’t question your behavior, letting you take a long sip from the bottle before smiling down at your dazed expression. 

“Here. There. Everywhere. He’s fucking everywhere all the damn time. I...he’s- maker...I can’t get him out of my kriffing mind. And the funny thing is, he probably doesn’t waste a second of thought on me. I’m just...someone with a fucking ride that can get him from one planet to the next.” You traced random patterns on the cold tile of the counter and didn’t realize that someone had occupied the seat just opposite of you and trying his hardest to ignore the way the patrons across the room continued to stare at you like you were a piece of meat. 

“Darling, he isn’t worth your time. You need someone that...appreciates you. Tells you how good you’ve been.” You knew the man in front of you was just saying those lovely things to get in your pants but you couldn’t help the next few words from stopping even if you tried.

“Yes...gods, yes. Yes I do. But I wanted him to appreciate me. I wanted him to tell me how good I’ve been. I can’t blame him for not bothering to thank me though because it’s hard for him to hold a conversation longer than five minutes. I get that, he’s not used to it, he hasn’t needed to for so long. But it wouldn't hurt to acknowledge me every once in a while you know. I mean, do you know anyone else who’d willingly put their entire life on hold just to help some random introvert and his child find their way through this kriffing shithole of a system?” You knew you shouldn’t be saying any of those things out loud, let alone to a complete stranger. But he struck a nerve and you couldn’t take not another minute of not telling anyone how you truly felt. You needed to get some things off your chest and you sure as hell weren’t about to complain to the man waiting for you back on the ship.  

“And- and do you know anyone that would readily give up their most valuable position in this world to a stranger they just met? I don’t.” You violently shook your head at him and felt your eyes fill with tears when you saw the way the man was looking at you. His eyes shot down to the bottle in your hand and you unceremoniously raised it to your lips before taking a long swig of the burning liquid, hoping by some miracle that this was enough to make you forget all about his stupid strut and his annoyingly low and gruff voice and the way he was so effortlessly kind to the kid.

“That ship. It’s- oh gah, it’s been with me through the worst fucking jobs. I fought for it, almost sold my kriffing bo-...almost sold something priceless to ensure it isn’t taken from me again. And it only takes some damn beskar-wearing, quiet, fucking who-knows-what-species nerfherder to save me once for me to voluntarily hand it over to him. Like it wasn’t a piece of me...like it wasn’t my home.” You were over sharing at this point and you noticed the way the man was beginning to lose interest in you  so you made sure to grab his shirt and pull him closer to you before grabbing his forearm and digging your nails into it to keep his attention.

“Have you heard of the Revenant? You must have heard of the Revenant. There is no way you haven’t-”

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard of it.” He was exasperated but continued to attend to you, shamelessly letting his eyes follow a drop of whiskey roll down your shirt in between the valley of your breasts. You fixed your posture, pushing your tits together and giving him an eyeful of skin before ranting to him again.

“That’s my baby. My pride and joy. I always made sure everyone at the dock knew who it belonged to. Know why?” You grabbed his hand and pulled on it to make sure he was listening to you, laughing when he tiredly leaned down and forced himself to look away from your sweaty chest to your eyes. 

“Enlighten me sweetheart.”

“Because it’s one of the biggest gunships out there. So much space that I don’t actually use. It’s a fucking beauty...but you know what? It’s all a lie. A sad, unfortunate lie. Because it took me spending the better half of the year with that kid and his tincan of a guardian to realize just how small it is. It’s like he put his mark on every corner of my home on purpose...just to drive me insane. Every time I sit somewhere where I’m sure he wouldn’t bother to come to, I’d still smell that- that...that fucking scent of his that I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what it is.” You had thankfully placed the whiskey bottle away from you and didn’t try to fight the tavern-keeper when he took it and put it back on the shelf, instantly returning to you to make sure you weren’t about to break anything.

“I even gave him my room. My room! Because ‘no one can see my face’ so he needs some privacy away from me but then there’s the whole ‘the child stays with me all the time’ and that womp rat can sleep in the little cot in my room with him while also giving him some privacy. Which leaves me, you guessed it, in the shitty lower deck where there is no door, not even a curtain, to give me some semblance of solitude.” You didn’t realize how harshly you were breathing until you stopped speaking and noticed the way the stranger continued to look at you. 

“It has been a literal hell not being able to get myself off because he can walk in on me at any given moment. Picture that, not getting off for almost a year while being forced to remain in the same vicinity as him.” You didn’t care when you saw the man almost choke on his drink at your bold admission and looked around to make sure no one heard you. “Ughh, you’ve been such a good boy listening to me whining all night long and I think you deserve a treat.” You knew you had him as soon as he shivered at the way your fingers moved beneath his shirt and scratched his neck. “You look like the kind of guy that could fuck me within an inch of my life. Right?”

“Ah huh. Y-yeah.” He licked his lips before setting down the towel in his hands and inching closer towards you. And you silently swore at how absolutely pathetic he was because not a minute ago, he was trying to find a way out of this conversation and here he was thinking with his probably-disappointing dick. 

“Good. And I promise to make it worth your while if you manage to make me forget his name.” You leaned across the counter and were about to kiss him when you saw something move across your peripheral vision, something that looked oddly familiar to your completely hazed mind. 

“And what’s his name, baby? So I make sure you can’t rememb-” Before he could finish whatever he was about to say, you felt a large hand wrap around your upper arm and pull you back from the bartender and off of the stool. You almost tripped as you struggled to stand and huffed in anger before raising your voice to the distinguished individual who thought this was the time to fuck with you. 

“Hey what are y-” You were about to take a swing at whoever it was currently bruising your arm when you followed the glint of the familiar metal and were met with your reflection staring right back at you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you blinked in confusion a few times at the visor currently tilted in an almost judgemental manner at you before attempting to wipe your hair with your other hand.

The Mandalorian slowly changed his focus to the man behind the bar and threw a few credits at him, hands immediately lowering to the blaster in his side holster when he saw where the tavern-keeper’s eyes moved towards. The stranger could only hold up his hand in defeat before walking towards the other side of the bar to lick his invisible wounds. The Mandalorian’s helmet turned to the rest of the cantina, daring anyone to approach the two of you before you left. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to follow the two of you as you returned to the Revenant. He could feel his patience withering away with every passing moment you decided to share what’s on your mind with the rest of the universe but him. 

“Let me go.” You whispered to him, eyes maintained to the ground and cringing when you felt his hold on your arm tighten at the request. Before you could ask him again, Mando was turning around and walking out of the busy cantina, pulling you along with him aggressively and not leaving any room for negotiation. You winced as he pulled you like a child through the streets, avoiding the concerned and intrigued looks you were receiving. He was much taller than you and you laughed when you realized it must have been a sight to see some random woman getting dragged along by an angry bounty hunter. Mando couldn’t help but turn towards you when he heard your giggles break the silence, his annoyance spiking because there was absolutely nothing humorous about this situation. 

You noticed the way he was staring at you and decided to quiet down, swallowing the lump in your throat as the cold air hit your sweaty skin and made you shiver. 

As you moved closer to the ship, you realized there was a chance he heard what you had to say about him and your ship. Hurt and anxiety rose up your throat and before you could attempt and control the all too familiar feeling, you were tripping over your feet and falling to the ground, instantly vomiting everything you’d managed to eat and drink in the last couple of hours. 

The Mandalorian hoped his obviously misplaced outrage wasn’t what led you to such a violent reaction, and he kneeled down immediately to hold your hair away from your face. When he saw tears falling down your cheeks and how hard you were breathing beneath him, something snapped in his chest and he knew he was definitely the reason behind this severe response. 

“Don’t- oh gah….kriffing look at me.” You spat in between words and turned away from him, holding onto your stomach and to the grass beneath you as you continued to empty your stomach in the middle of the forest. At least you weren’t in the city anymore. 

“We’re close to the ship,” he didn’t know what else to say and chose to state the obvious instead, afraid of using a harsher tone with you. Actually, he did know what to say, he just didn’t trust himself to speak the words out loud yet.

“Wopty fucking doo for-” once again, you opened your mouth and dry heaved until you were sure there wasn’t a single drop of whiskey in your system, “you and your stupid kriffing-” 

“Please Ad'ika, let me-” You visibly shook at the familiar endearment you’ve heard him whisper to the child so often when he thought you weren’t around. It hurt to know he was throwing it around as if he wasn’t twisting the knife inside your heart with every breath he took near you. 

“Let m-me go, p-please.” Mando’s sudden intake of breath was as loud as the silence engulfing the two of you and you swallowed your pride before looking into his visor, well aware of how awful you must have looked without the reflection staring back at you. He, on the other hand, grasped in that moment just how deep your words in the cantina were and instead of listening to you and allowing you a moment alone, he took a deep breath before softly pushing back your hair and wrapping one arm around your waist. You didn’t have any time to question him as the other went beneath your thighs and before you knew it, you were holding onto his cowl for dear life as he quietly walked up the ramp of the Revenant with you in his arms. 

Mando pushed in the code to shut the hatch before making his way through the quiet halls of the ship, reaching hi- your room and going straight to the bed he has occupied in the last few months. As he put you down, he took notice of your body language and knew instantly how self-conscious you must have felt laying on the bed he’s been using since he joined you. The same bed which you sort of commented about not an hour ago. He watched as you forced a smile as soon as you saw the familiar green little womp rat peeking its head right before descending from the safety of his crib and wobbling towards you. 

You tried to leave the bed but Mando was ahead of you, gently pushing your shoulder until you realized there was no room for arguing with him. Leaning down, he took the kid and put him back in the crib before telling him he couldn’t cuddle with you tonight. 

You kept your hands clasped together and refused to look at him, eyes taking in the room no longer familiar to you. He’d moved things around, even put things away that he didn’t need. Your gaze shifted towards him unintentionally as you saw him approach you with a cup of water and wet towel. Pushing the covers towards you, he sat near your thighs as he handed you the water and began to softly wipe at your cheeks and forehead. 

You shut your eyes out of fear of giving more away just by staring at his visor and Mando thanked the stars you had because he wasn’t sure he could truly look at you if they were still open. It was a ridiculous thought because he was wearing a mask and you’d never know how much he loved committing all those little muscle twitches to memory. But it felt strangely intimate to return your gaze and he didn’t want to make you any more uncomfortable tonight. 

You sighed heavily at his touch and felt pathetic at how starved you were for anything that had to do with him. The man was wearing gloves and wasn’t technically trailing his fingers over your skin but it still felt difficult to contain yourself.

When he was done, he stood up and moved to the refresher, giving you a few moments alone before he imposed on you again. You gulped down the water and placed the cup on the floor near you, looking out of the large window to your right and noticing the dark blue skies moving slowly above you. It took you a few minutes to recognize that what you were feeling was no longer hurt but confusion. He’s acted so differently tonight and you hated to think it was because he was pitying you. It didn’t matter anymore whether he’d heard what you said about him or not. He would have found out sooner or later, and if you were being honest, you felt like he probably had some inclination for a while before but chose to not bring any attention to the topic to save you from embarrassment and rejection.

“Get some rest.” You turned towards him again, not realizing he’d come back into the room and was standing right beside you. Mando tried his hardest not to give away any of his thoughts but you knew what he was thinking as soon as you saw his helmet tilt down just below your neck. 

When you followed his line of sight, you felt ill again but for a completely different reason. Of course this would get worse. You weren’t planning on seeing him tonight and you told yourself you’d have plenty of time to change out of his shirt but it seemed that the universe was not making this any easier on you. Mando couldn’t stop staring at the shirt wrapped so loosely around your smooth skin and how large it looked on you. If he was a decent man, he would have turned away when he saw you shifting uncomfortably under his gaze but he couldn’t help taking in the way your body seemed to react to his presence and before he could think about it, he was stepping closer to the bed and reaching out to touch the material of his shirt falling down your shoulder.

“I- I’m sorry about your s-” The words died in your throat when you felt his gloved fingers trailing down your exposed clavicle and you were torn between asking him what he was doing and letting him carry on without interrupting his curiosity. Mando barely held himself back from pushing you down into the covers and taking what he now knew was his but he noticed the sudden goosebumps erupt on your skin and finally managed to meet your eyes through the visor. The way you were returning his gaze was perhaps too much for him and he flinched away from you, clearing his throat and willing himself to think of anything else but the way you were practically begging him to take you. You parted your lips to say something but couldn’t find your voice, afraid you’d push him more than he could take and drive him away all together. 

“It’s fine. It’s...I don’t mi- forget about it. You need to rest.” He spoke softly before walking towards the cot nearby and pushing the crib out of the door. 

“Wh-where will you sleep?” You sat up and knew he noticed how much you were holding onto every single interaction with him.

“Good night,” he didn’t bother to respond to the question, turning off the lights and shutting the door behind him before making his way to the cockpit. You sat in silence for a few moments before slithering under the covers, sighing in annoyance when you noticed just how much this entire room smelled like him. Pushing your face into the pillow, you took a deep breath and felt shaken to the core when you were hit with Mando’s distinctive scent: sweat, beskar, and that damn featherfern wash he somehow found every time you flew by Nevarro. 

As you looked out the metal blinds, you tried to brace yourself for the conversation you were most definitely going to have with the Mandalorian the next day. You knew for a fact that whatever decision he’d take will ultimately hurt you because there were really only two options available, one of which involved him and the child leaving and the other would lead to them staying but making things awkward since there was not a single chance he would reciprocate your feelings. 

And the worst part was, you weren’t sure which was more painful.

The Mandalorian sat quietly in the cockpit for a while, making sure you were asleep so as to not wake you up as he moved through the Revenant. Seeing that the kid was fast asleep, he found himself leaving the small space and navigating to the lower deck. He passed by your room and noticed the lights were off, sighing in relief at knowing that you were finally resting comfortably. Arriving at the lower deck, he stood at the entrance of the large room and felt his chest tighten once he took in the state of the space. Turning on the lights, he immediately noticed your makeshift cot in the far right corner, unable to stop himself from moving towards it to inspect it. He shook his head in anger but this time it was aimed at himself and not you or the random tavern keeper who couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. 

How did he not know of this arrangement? And why did he not ask about your sleeping situation the day he joined your ship? Was he truly that unconcerned with anyone else but the kid or was it because he was reluctant to listen to Peli when she recommended you?

He’d only been in the lower deck for a few moments yet he felt his skin crawl with goosebumps. It was awfully cool down here and it took him another ten seconds to acknowledge that you’ve been living and sleeping here for this long without complaining once to him. 

Everything you said about him earlier tonight crashed into him like a wave of guilt and he couldn’t stay in the room any longer, making his way back to the upper deck to try and figure out what he would say to you come tomorrow. As he slowly moved through the dark hallways of the Revenant, he heard a faint voice coming from the upper deck, muscles tensing instantly when he walked past your room and noticed you weren’t on the bed.

Not wanting to disturb you, he waited right outside the cockpit and listened to you humming to the child. He must have woken up and found his way back to you. As he crossed his arms and stood behind the door, he couldn’t help but notice how soft your voice was as you continued to sing a lullaby to the little womp rat. 

How could he have not noticed…

“There you go, you little green goblin. If only I could sleep as quickly as you.” You whispered to him before tucking him into the crib while continuing to rub his abnormally large ears. “Your dad is really funny...thinking I’d be able to sleep in that room with his scent all over it.” 

Maker, how were you so forthright with everyone but him? It hurt to know that he wasn’t someone you could whisper your little secrets to. Then again, it made sense since all of your secrets seemed to involve him.

“I pray he doesn’t tell me he has to leave now that he knows I...ughh, for both of our sakes little one.” Mando noticed the way you seemed incapable of finishing your sentences whenever you spoke about him and a deep part of him wished you would, if only to hear the adoration in your words. Rarely anyone spoke of him so softly and he had a feeling he’d only ever accept such words from you. It was quiet for a few minutes before he heard you whisper to the kid again. 

“It just hurts to know that he’ll never see me as...as a-” He wasn’t sure if it was the heartbreaking tone of your voice or if it was the way you were reluctant to say your heart’s desire out loud but Mando couldn’t stand another second of you thinking you weren’t important to him.

“As a what?” His voice came out harsher through the vocoder and he winced at himself when he vaguely heard you jumping from the chair. A soft hiss came from the cockpit and he took a deep breath when he realized you’d just shut the crib and moved to leave the room. As you stepped out, Mando forced his eyes to remain on your face, refusing to look at your exposed legs or the way his shirt seemed to end right beneath your upper thighs.

Softly shutting the door, you walked to the opposite side of the room and knew the Mandalorian must have noticed your need to put as much space between the two of you as possible. 

“We need to stop running into each other like this,” you laughed awkwardly and anxiously ringed your fingers, glancing at his visor before turning away and looking everywhere else but him. Okay, so humor wasn’t going to get you out of this situation. 

“How’s your head?” You could feel how on edge he was and decided to answer with short and straightforward responses just to avoid any more awkwardness. 

“M-much clearer.” You stood in silence until you heard the Mandalorian pushing off of the opposite wall and heading towards you. You didn’t have anywhere to go, eyes snapping to the door right behind him and knowing there was no way you could try to walk around him.

He stopped a couple of feet away from you and you ceased to breathe when you noticed how awfully close he was to you. 

“Answer my question.” His voice was dangerously low and you found it difficult to try and think of anything to say when he was giving you no room to breathe. 

“I- I did?” Your voice was far from confident and you watched as he gently took off both of his gloves before shoving them into his pockets. Even though he willingly removed them in front of you, you didn’t allow yourself to look at his skin, afraid you’d somehow offend him and his Creed. But then you saw his hand move towards your face, and gasped when you felt his fingers tilting your chin so you were looking into his visor. There was not an inclination of an emotion available to you but you forced yourself to keep your eyes open nonetheless. 

“How do you want me to see you Mesh'la?” Mando whispered down to you and you swore his voice was hoarse as he spoke to you but you didn’t allow this moment to get to your head. It would hurt more than anything if…

“It d-doesn’t matter.” You blinked away the tears, wanting to wipe your face before anymore were shed but not finding it in yourself to move away from him. But then you felt his thumb softly rubbing at your wet skin, making you almost lose your composure as soon as he stepped closer in your space until your back hit the wall. 

“I’m sorry Cyar'ika,” his chest was inches from your face, cornering you beneath his other arm before leaning down and resting his forehead against yours. You couldn’t breath, not when he was suddenly filling all of your senses as if it was the most natural thing to do. He felt your tears roll around his thumb and couldn’t bear the thought of you crying because of him.

“I’m sorry for making you think you don’t matter...you do, not just to the kid but- but to me as well.” Your knees gave out on you as soon as you heard Mando’s confession, barely managing to grab onto his forearms right before buckling against him. The Mandalorian wasn’t sure if that was the kind of reaction he was looking for but he immediately wrapped his arms around your back and legs before pulling you against his chest. You nuzzled into his chest and kept a tight hold on him as he walked through the dimly lit hallways back to your room. He could feel goosebumps take over the skin of your thighs where he was touching you and tried to distract himself from pushing you down into the middle of the Revenant and taking you right then and there. You deserved more than that. 

As he reached the room and laid you on the bed, he felt your fingers clasp onto him harder and when his eyes trailed over your face, he knew you were silently begging him not to leave. 

“I’m not going anywhere Ad'ika.” His reassuring tone tugged at your heart and you swallowed the lump in your throat as you watched him walk to the door and shut it behind him before moving to the refresher. You heard him shuffle around and allowed your mind to calm down, knowing very well that Mando wasn’t unkind and wouldn’t lead you on just to leave you. But then he walked out without his beskar armor and you swore you died and joined the stars. His helmet looked odd without his normal clothing and you knew he could probably see you shamelessly ogling him from across the room. 

He walked to you and stood to the side, and you realized he was probably nervous. You pushed yourself against the wall and threw back the covers, hoping he’d understand what you wanted of him.

“Can I-”

“Please.” You cut him off before he could finish his question and he took a deep breath before laying on the bed and moving as close to you as possible. Before he could throw the covers over the two of you, you were already laying your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him, fingers fisting into the soft material of his shirt unintentionally as you felt him relax beneath you.

You weren’t sure how long it’s been but you felt his heart rate finally come back to normal. Hoping you weren’t being too forward with him, you took his hand into yours and brought it to your lips, softly kissing his knuckles before turning his palm over to lay a kiss on his wrist. Mando was losing every ounce of control left in his body and his arm tightened around your back as soon as he felt the tip of your tongue against his hand. 

“Pfassk,” you flinched at the rough expletive and raised your head to look at him, finding his visor already tilted down towards you. “I- I’m sorry I’ll stop if-”

“No..n-no, don’t stop. It just- you took me by surprise.” His chest was rising and falling more rapidly and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was as affected by this new level of ‘intimacy’ as you were, if not more.

You felt bold at his request, kicking the covers away before sitting up and moving to straddle his thighs. Mando was breathing harshly and mirrored your actions, sitting up against the cool metal of the wall before laying his hands on top of your exposed thighs. He let himself take in the way your skin flushed under his touch and smiled to himself when he continued to inch his smooth hands over your upper thighs until his shirt rid up your legs and revealed the pastel color of your undergarment. 

“Cyar'ika…” He sighed when he finally forced himself to meet your eyes and found them dilated until there was barely any color left in them. You wanted to ask him what that word meant but chose to file it for later. Placing your hands on top of his, you smiled down at him before pulling them towards your lips and kissing his palms. Almost instantly, you felt him twitch against you, unable to control himself from bucking his hips against your heated core. You let go of his hands and laid your own on his chest, throwing your head back when you felt his tight grip on your thighs. You could tell he wanted to apologize but gave him no chance to do so, sliding against him until you were sure he was painfully hard beneath you.

“Maker...I- I could almost taste you on my tongue Mando. When you- you left me in here all by myself. I couldn’t sleep, n-not when I could smell you on these covers, not when I could feel you on my skin. I..gods, wanted to kiss you then, and- and I wanted to taste your- you...Please, c-can I? P-please-” You dug your nails into his chest and heard him throw his head back against the wall with every confession you moaned to him. He was never this unhinged and you wished to see him come absolutely undone at your touch.

“A-are you sure?” It pained him to ask but he needed to be sure that you wouldn’t regret this. Regret him. 

“Mando, have you not listened to anything I’ve said tonight?” As much as you hated to remind him of the earlier and rather embarrassing events, you wanted him to know just how much he meant to you. You knew he was reluctant to let this relationship move forward and you couldn’t really blame him. This was all new to him. But you also didn’t want to stall, not when the two of you have become so aware of the other’s feelings.

You continued to rub yourself on him, shaking with anticipation when you heard him moan through the vocoder as you pressed yourself more confidently down on him. 

“Mesh'la I-” Without warning, you took one of his hands and pushed it to your lips, slowly taking two of his fingers into your mouth and swirling your tongue around them until his moans grew louder. And when he pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth, you gripped his wrist tightly and groaned, making sure he could feel how much you wanted him. 

“Y-you’re killing me sweet girl.” He wanted to loosen his hold on you, to take things slow, to not let himself get carried away with you, but he didn’t find it in himself to be gentle because he could feel how wet and needy you were above him and there was no way he was going to waste another second not being close to you.

“Please Mando, I want you, n-need to have you. I can make you feel so good. Please, can I?” You reached down and cupped him through his pants, finding him as hard as the beskar of his armor. He thrust up into your hand and swore violently before taking his hand away from your mouth and fisting it into your hair. You smiled when you felt him push you off of him, whispering something in Mando’a when he saw you pulling his pants down his thighs and throwing them behind you. 

You bit your lower lip before moving off of the bed and pushing his legs along with you as well. Mando sat up and forced his hands to remain by his side, afraid his enthusiasm would make him get too rough with you and scare you away. When you laid your hands on his knees and pushed them wide open so you could get comfortable between his legs, Mando’s hands tightened around the covers and he hissed when he saw the way you were eyeing his cock. You were staring at him like he was a piece of meat and he wasn’t sure if he loved it or was embarrassed by it. 

“Maker,” you whispered before dragging your nails up and down his thighs, watching as his cock twitched against his stomach every time you got a little aggressive with your touches. Looking up into his visor, you slowly leaned down and took the tip of his cock in your mouth, humming around him as you tasted precum leaking into your taste buds. That seemed to do it for him because one of his hands shot to the back of your head and fisted into your hair while the other moved down until it landed on your hand. He intertwined his fingers with yours and watched as you pulled back and licked the underside of his dick before spitting into your hand and wrapping it around him.

“M-mando, the taste of you,” you took as much of him in your mouth as possible while maintaining eye contact with his helmet, squeezing the base of his cock before reaching down and cupping his balls. Mando swore, involuntarily thrusting into your mouth and watching in awe as he saw a dangerous glint in your eyes right before you clasped his hand harder and somehow managed to take him in deeper. It was such a sight, holding affectionately onto your hand as you brought him to pleasure. Letting go of him with a pop, you laid wet kisses down the length of his cock, licking the protruding veins and smiling when you felt his hold tighten on your hair. “Is absolutely addicting.” 

You could tell the exact second he lost all semblance of control because one minute you were kneeling at his feet, and the next thing you knew, Mando was pulling you up by your hair and throwing you beneath him on the bed. You wiped your lips with the back of your hand, watching his muscles flex as he removed his shirt expertly over his helmet. The soft starlight coming through the metal blinds of the window shone onto his skin and you trailed your gaze down his chest, finding the golden brown tone of his scarred body absolutely breathtaking. 

“Mando, you’re beautiful.” You saw his hands begin to shake at your compliment, and you knew you’d take every chance you get from now on to tell him how much you adored him. You could hear him breathing through the mask and licked your lips when he looked down and saw the way you were playing with the hem of his shirt. Slowly, you began to pull on the soft material, about to take it off when he held onto your wrists. Your smile faltered for a second and hoped you didn’t somehow misunderstand his intentions.

The last thing Mando wished to see was your body giving away to shyness before him. Pushing your thighs open, he didn’t give you a chance to say anything else as he slid his fingers below the thin undergarment, violently ripping it off of you and discarding it onto the floor. You gasped when you felt him hard and heavy against your slit, taking both of his hands and pulling him towards you until he was only a hairbreadth away. He watched closely as you placed one hand around your throat while the other descended to your breast. You could tell Mando was reluctant to move so much an inch and when you pushed yourself against him, eyes daring him to do as he wishes, he found himself completely overtaken with the thought of you belonging to him and him only. You smiled when you felt the grip on your throat tighten, shutting your eyes and arching your back against him as the other cupped and pinched at your nipples through his shirt. 

“If you want me to fuck you tonight, Mesh'la, then you’re going to keep my shirt on.” He could feel you shaking in his arms and smiled to himself at the knowledge of how much he affected you. 

“Mando, please…” You would have continued begging him if he asked you to, but then he was moving away from you and leaning towards the window. Keeping your hands clasped to your chest, you watched as he shut the blinds until there wasn’t a single light shining into the room. You could barely see your own hands in the dark and wondered why he was shuffling above you. A soft hissing sound had you tensing in an instant and you ceased to breathe when you heard the faint sound of beskar hitting the ground. 

“M-mando?” The question was more reluctant than inquisitive and you didn’t have time to react as you felt him lean against you until you were touching every inch of his skin. You blinked a few times in vain, knowing there was no way you would be able to see anything. But then you felt something soft brush against your cheek and as you turned your head towards him, Mando was molding his lips with yours, swallowing your gasps and sucking on your tongue as soon as you melted into him. He pulled away against his own will, but not before pushing your jaw with his nose until your neck was available to him.

“And my name is Din sweet girl, Din Djarin. It better be the only word you scream tonight as I fuck this pretty little cunt. Understood?” You weren’t sure if it was his deep voice that made you speechless or the fact that he not only took off his helmet for you but willingly told you his name as well. You committed it to memory, hoping this wouldn’t be the only time he took off his helmet around you. You’d always wondered what he sounded like without it, not comprehending that it could be so much sweeter than what you’ve dreamed of. And by the gods, his lips. How were they so soft and gentle? Maker, he had a stubble too, not a rough one but just long enough to tickle your neck as he kissed and nipped at your clavicle.

“Answer me Ad'ika.” He bit your shoulder to grab your attention once more, chuckling above you when you nodded frantically against him. 

“You’re so soft Cyar'ika, I- I want to kiss every inch of your skin.” As much as you loved making him lose his mind at your touch, you had to admit you enjoyed him much more when he was in control. You smiled when he kissed along your shoulder before pushing down his shirt far enough to expose your breasts. Din bit down on his lower lip to contain himself, but then you were arching your back and pushing yourself into him and he couldn’t hold back. He kissed down your sternum, waiting until you relaxed in his arms before assaulting your nipples. You screamed his name as you felt his teeth tug on your nipple, hands shooting to his hair when you felt him grope and pull on the other. 

“Din, oh ma-maker- your mouth is...f-fuck.” You could tell he was smiling as he aggressively licked the hardened bud before sucking on it again. Din pushed his cock against your wet slit, growling when you pulled on his hair and cried his name like a sweet prayer. 

“I could smell your cunt sweet girl, so fucking wet and hot and ready for me.” Din pulled back and cornered you between his arms, bucking his hips into you until you were a needy and moaning mess beneath him. “Woke up countless times in this bed...hard and aching at the mere thought of you...d-dreaming of having you in my arms, wanting to sink into you, f-fuck you on every inch of this ship.” 

“Din, please...I need you.” 

The way you clawed at his back broke him and before he knew what he was doing, he was flipping you on your stomach and raising your hips against him.

“I need to have you Mesh'la.” Din leaned down and swiped your hair to the side, whispering the filthiest things in your ears as he took hold of his cock and rubbed it against your heat. 

“I’m yours Din, do what you want. Fuck me, ruin me...cum in me if you wish. Just p-please-”

You made it sound so simple, trusting him. It was an odd feeling to know how easily you were giving yourself to him. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, not after what you said tonight. But something about the way you offered yourself to him, especially with that last request, had him seeing stars.

Leaning down until his chest was sliding against your back, the Mandalorian held you against him with one arm across your front while he slowly slipped into your wet cunt. You sighed in unison, and Din felt a sense of pride fill his chest when you dug your nails into his arm while your legs began to shake beneath him.

“You’re a dream Cyar'ika, the best f-fucking dream I could ever have. And you’re all mine.”

“Y-yes, yours. I’ve always been yours, oh gods Din please, move. M-move.” You were babbling at this point but couldn’t find it in yourself to care, turning your head to the side just to feel him breathe against your cheek. His stubble rubbed deliciously at your heated and sensitive skin, and you would tell him later that you hoped he’d mirror those actions but elsewhere.

“So tight darling, I- you’re everything. The things I- uhhh, the thing I want to do to you.” Din achingly pulled out before snapping into you again, biting down on your shoulder when you clenched violently around him. 

“Din, oh Din-” You wished you could tell him how good he felt, how much he filled you, how often you craved having him inside you and how much you were losing it now that he was. But you couldn’t find a single word, not when he was fucking you like you were it for him.

The normally quiet man was groaning and hissing above you, pulling you along with him as he sat up and continued to fuck you relentlessly. You reached back and held his head against your neck, crying in pain and pleasure when he picked up the pace and his hold on your hip tightened. You were sure there would be bruise marks the next day but you couldn’t tell him to slow down or be a little less aggressive, not when you finally had him where you’ve wanted for so long. 

“Fuck, fuck….sweet girl, did- did you mean it?” He was asking you something and you didn’t really pay attention to him, focusing on the way he deliciously dragged against your tight walls over and over again. Din knew it wasn’t fair to ask you anything right now but he had to know. Needed to.

He stopped his movement all together, sinking as deep into you as possible and tightening his grip on your throat. 

“Pfassk...answer me darling.” Din whispered into your ears and reached down to where you were joined, softly slapping your clit until you twitched and begged him to repeat his words again.

“I said, did you fucking mean it when- kriffing hell, when you said I could...c-cum in you?” He was reluctant to ask but there was no point in denying either of you. 

“Yes, gods yes. I told you Din, d-do what you want with me.” You forcibly loosened the fingers around your throat and brought them to your lips, biting the palm of his hand as he resumed thrusting into you. 

“Mesh'la...you’re such a sweet girl, letting me b-breed you...taking my cock so well, letting me fill you up. You were made for me darling. This cunt, this sweetest and tightest kriffing pussy was made for my cock.” He pronounced each word with a harsh push of his hips and you smiled when you heard how low his voice suddenly became. The sounds of skin slapping on skin filled the room and you hoped the child wouldn’t wake up from how loud the two of you were being. 

“You’re mine darling. Won’t let anyone else touch you...fucking look at you even. Maker I- I almost lost it tonight in the cantina.” There was a hint of self-consciousness in his words and you hoped he didn’t think you could ever replace him.

“D-din..” You wanted to tell him no one else would compare but he didn’t give you a chance. 

“Talking about me like I- fuck, like I didn’t care about you, like I don’t picture you coming on my cock every waking moment of my day. And flirting with him in my shirt...my kriffing shirt. I almost lost it when he put his hands on you sweet girl.” You weren’t sure if he had somehow become harder inside you or if it was his words that made you attuned to the feeling of him pushing into your cunt but you turned your head and kissed his cheeks, hoping he’d understand what you were trying to tell him with your touches. 

“You’re the only one f-for me.” Din let go of your neck and held onto your hips, no longer caring about how rough he was being with you. Your heavy sighs were the only warning he had right before your tight walls convulsed around his dick and he continued to fuck you through your orgasm, falling on top of you and bucking his hips slowly into your cunt until you begged him to slow down.

“Cyare, ah pfassk, that’s it. Keep squeezing me darling. I’m so close, so close. Ah fuck, you’re mine. Mine, not letting you go. N-never letting you go. Oh maker...ner runi...ner. Ner. Riduur. My sweet girl...riduur.” Din didn’t realize what he’d said until the words were left hanging in the air and he felt a rush of relief wash over him as he finally admitted how he felt about you. 

“Din, I lo- ahh gods please.” He silenced your screams with his hand, losing his rhythm as he came in hot spurts of cum inside you. Din bit down onto your shoulder just as you bit on the palm of his hand, continuing to push his seed deep inside you until he felt you a mixture of your juices seeping out of you. Neither of you moved for a few moments, relishing the way you fit so perfectly with each other. You could feel him breathing heavily against your back and smiled with pride when you realized you were the only one that got to see him like this. 

Din didn’t want to stop touching you, falling to the side and grabbing your flush to him only to hiss when you unintentionally clenched around his softening cock. You kissed his wrist as he pulled the covers over the two of you, not bothering to move a muscle mostly because you knew he didn’t wish for you to leave him.

He kissed along the bruised ridges of your shoulders, drawing circles on your navel and smiling when you giggled beneath him.

“I wasn’t too rough with you was I?” He asked embarrassingly, not knowing what he’d do if you said yes. 

“You were perfect Din...you- you are perfect.” You turned your head far enough in hopes of catching his attention, letting out a deep breath when he leaned over and captured your lips in a chaste kiss. He was so soft and you didn’t know which side of him you enjoyed more but you were sure you wanted to get to know him, all of him. His likes and dislikes.

“Far from it Mesh'la. I...I went to the lower deck and saw where you’ve been sleeping.”

“Oh…”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Din rose on his elbow, seeking your hands in the dark and holding onto your fingers as he raised your hand to his mouth and kissed along your hand. 

“I- I didn’t want to make you think you weren’t welcome. Peli told me about the Creed and well, there isn’t any sort of privacy down there really. And the kid would’ve been cold. I know how much he likes to cuddle next to you when he sleeps.” 

“But you’ve been-”

“I’ve slept in worse conditions, believe me.” He didn’t say anything else in response but you knew he was very much thinking about it. 

“Din, I wouldn’t change a single moment. Not one. Because each one led me here, to this bed, in your arms. I would relive every mission and every cold night and every awkward conversation again if I knew I’d end up here with you. You’re the closest thing I have to a..a-”

“Family.” He broke the silence before lying back down and pulling you as close to him as possible.

“Promise me you won’t get drunk by yourself in a cantina again.” You wished you didn’t laugh out loud at the random request because Din swore behind you before his grip loosened a bit.

“I’m sorry I...I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just, here I am pouring my heart out and the only thing you could follow up with was that.” When he didn’t say anything in return, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back to you. “And yes, I promise not to get drunk in a cantina by myself ever again.”

“Good.”

“But I can’t really make any promises about not flirting with anyone because if it means I get to have you all hot and bothered then-”

“Sweet girl, you’re going to regret ever thinking of that…” 

Translations: 

Sleemo - This Huttese insult was pronounced slay-mo and translated as "slimeball," a rude insult.

Ad'ika - Little one

Mesh'la - Beautiful

Cyar'ika - Darling/Sweetheart

Pfassk - An adaptable expletive

Cyare - Beloved

Ner - Mine.

Runi - soul; only used poetically

Riduur - partner, spouse, husband/wife

[oreoambitions]

1.1

They are an hour outside of National City before Alex becomes aware of the exhausted numbness that has taken root somewhere deep within her bones. Her hands on the steering wheel seem like someone else's hands, and it's someone else's eyes on the dusty excuse for a road over which it feels like someone else is guiding the SUV. The static pouring out of the radio seems to be coming from somewhere very far away, even - or perhaps especially - when Nia reaches over from the passenger's seat to twiddle the dial from static to desperate call for help to static again. The map on the GPS device seems almost dreamlike in a strange, shimmering, distracted sort of way. There is a part of her that can't stop thinking it happened so fast, it happened so fast over and over again, and the rest of her is quiet. Focused and efficient. Execute the next task and the next task and the next task until things get better.

There is a part of her that suspects things are not going to get better. In the rearview mirror she can just see Kara, seatbelted in and slumped over, blissfully unconscious the last two hours or so but beginning to stir now. Lena sits in the backseat beside her, face an impassive mask, one hand fiddling endlessly with the bandage wrapped tight around the other arm. It's a gunshot wound - Alex verified herself - but it will put her at risk if they run into strangers on the road. Everyone is going to be a little overcautious for a little while; for so many reasons, it's better to keep out of sight. Hopefully the others understood the seriousness of the message when Alex told them not to travel in the dark, because headlights right now might as well be a flashing neon sign reading "I'm here! Shoot at me and steal my supplies!"

The numb, quiet part of Alex sort of whishes someone would shoot at them so that she could shoot back, and that's a feeling she shoves deep down where she doesn't have to think about it for a while. Better to think about how only the most charitable of travelers might refer to this particular stretch as a road, and about how these aren't off-roading tires and AAA isn't coming to bail them out if she hits the wrong rock the wrong way.

She's trying not to think about how AAA probably isn't coming to bail anyone out ever again when Kara begins to mumble and then abruptly comes awake with a shout and a thrash that might, on a better day, have threatened to overturn the SUV. Alex and Nia share a glance, and Alex prepares for the onslaught of indignant questions. How dare you, and how could you, and how many people did you leave behind, and why in a thousand variations. Alex has been rehearsing answers in her head as if there are any acceptable answers to rehearse, but Kara doesn't ask. She buries her fingers in her own hair and makes a strangled noise that will probably break Alex's heart later when the numbness has begun to fade. And then she says, "Rao, I- There were so many, I- I'm so sorry."

Alex understands that there were so many will be Kara's it happened so fast and doesn't know what to say. She and Nia exchange another glance. Nia reaches for the radio, hesitates, and withdraws her hand. For a long time the only sound in the car is the static and the crunch of tires over dirt and Kara weeping quietly in the back seat until, with a deep shuddering breath, she pulls herself upright and peers out the window.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

It's almost a relief to have an easy question to answer. Alex passes back a ratty packet of tissues from the center console. "There's an old DEO safehouse in the desert," she says. "More like a bunker, really. Colonel Haley had it built just in case. Food, water, weapons, and shelter for a couple dozen people. Should be a really nice radio there too." She doesn't mention that the facility was built just in case Kara - specifically Kara - decided to turn on the American government, and she doesn't mention the kryptonite she suspects is still buried deep underground there. Those are details relevant to another life and another world.

"The DEO doesn't mind us squatting in their club house?"

Alex's fingers tighten on the steering wheel until her knuckles are white, and she's surprised to find she has to swallow hard before she can speak. "Pretty sure there is no DEO anymore," she says, "But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Kara swallows too, audibly, and her voice is rough when she says, "National City?"

Lena answers, "Lost."

Kara doesn't ask what Lena means by that, and the absence of the question is almost more difficult than trying to answer it might have been. It happened so fast. But Kara knows that. She knows how fast it happened because she was there at the parade when it all went to hell for National City. She knows because even she, super speed and all, could not keep up. Not that she didn't try and try and try until she solar flared. Not that Alex and Nia didn't try alongside her until it became a choice between Kara's life and a losing battle to save a city already half dead. In the end, that choice was surprisingly easy.

Alex swallows again and tries to relax her hands on the wheel. The parade is something from someone else's life. It’s something that happened to someone else, maybe some other Alex, some poor asshole who is going to carry around some gnarly emotional scars when this is all over. It has to be some other Alex because this Alex has responsibilities, and responsibility #1 is to get Kara to safety. Everything else - next steps, grief, anger, denial, whatever - can wait until they are safely underground. Almost there now. Just a little further.

They have maybe another three hours of daylight. The quiet focused part of Alex is thinking about the other two SUVs behind them, and when they might have left the city, and whether Kara is going to be able to sleep if they're still waiting on people when the sun goes down. She’ll need the rest. There are no sunlamps where they’re going and no one in this car has any idea how long it might take to recover from a solar flare without them. They’re twenty minutes or so from the safehouse now as they turn onto what is more clearly a dirt road and not potentially just a wide trail or perhaps a dry riverbed.

"We got Barry on the phone before the signal cut out," Nia is explaining. "He and Oliver are getting some people together and they're going to meet us here in a couple of days. It's a long, dangerous trip but we all agreed it was worth trying to rendezvous. We don't know how long this is going to last."

"Kate?"

"We haven't been able to raise anyone from Gotham."

Alex tries not to see Kara digesting this information in the backseat, tries not to see her putting the pieces together. Somehow so long as Kara is living in the old world, the old world is still alive, and Alex is still going to be okay. They're all going to be okay. They're going to get far, far away from this and wait until it blows over, and it's going to be fine. The dead will stay dead and the living will stay living and they’ll go on with their busy, blissfully insignificant lives. For a moment longer, Alex can still think these things to herself and almost believe them.

And then Kara says, "It's everywhere, isn't it."

Nobody answers that. Lena squeezes Kara's knee and offers her a thin, sad smile. Nia gazes out the window with tired eyes and a distant expression that Alex suspects is a mirror of her own. And Alex watches the road, quiet and focused and numb.