s12 destiel from dean's perspective is explanation enough for why dean is sooooo insane after that season. like.
- first he almost kills himself for the greater good or whatever and has to come to terms with like. dying. on purpose. and then he is given the gift of life but before he can be like yay! i can go home! his mom is back from the dead??? and his brother is missing???
- then his mom leaves him bc she wants to figure out who she is and even tho he's like a 38 yo man it fucks w him a lot understandably.
-they get arrested and put in SOLITARY for a while and when they finally get out and meet cas again (at which point dean has once again come to terms with dying for the greater good but also mostly his mom and brother this time), he KILLS THE REAPER THEY MADE THE DEAL WITH AND GETS ALL EMOTIONAL??? after which he proceeds to fuck off bc he is Busy™ tracking lucifer etc.,
- then they get a lead and CAS ALMOST DIES IN FRONT OF HIS EYES and throws an I love you in his goodbye speech for the lolz. which. hahaha. anyway cas lives but turns out his mother — with whom he's trying to connect so badly so he can achieve full Normalcy — was like. lowkey responsible for his almost death. so they're fighting now.
- cas receives a divine voicemail from his close friend and colleague and then they go on that case with Lily sunder and ISHIM BEATS CAS UP AND THREATENS TO KILL HIM and even after they beat him Lily Sunder is like. I'm gonna go do some soul searching and if im in the mood I'll come back and KILL YOU. THREAT. and cas is like 😔 fair. so you know.
- there is also an instance of him losing his memories which is scary. and it's like. being intimately familiar with that experience is. something else. as a memory loss girlie let me tell you 👍🏽😄
- and then!!!!! lucifer's unborn child mind melds with his wifehusband — once more in front of his own two eyes — and "manipulates" him into running away with the pregnant lady instead of staying and Figuring Out A Solution. and when they finally do find cas, they are with them for all of 12 hours before HE DIES. FORREAL THIS TIME. AND LIKE THAT'S IT. NO COMING BACK FROM THAT ONE!
this is not an exhaustive list bc i don't remember everything but. like you know. he was primed to get worse and worse. all things that happen in s12 are out of his control but they are also things that happen in front of his eyes, and in ways that make him think that perhaps he did have control over them and he did fuck up some way and he *should* have done something to change the course of their lives so he's filled with guiltshame about it. and he decides that the solution to not losing anyone in the foreseeable future is to just. Control Every Possible Aspect Of Their Existence. which is impossible and that's why he gets mad all the time but YOU KNOW. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE'S CRAZY. poor s12 dean man.
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After today’s entry, I am once again baffled by any adaptation that makes Renfield out to be some direct and obedient minion to Dracula’s whims. This guy literally breaks out the second he thinks his Lord and Master (read: Idealized Supernatural Benefactor He’s Decided Will Give Him Grisly Boons and Superpowers) is being ‘stolen’ from him and begins wailing on those he deems responsible...
...except those same guys are the ones hired specifically to carry out Dracula’s instructions of Transylvanian dirt box removal/delivery. The actual, if unwitting, minions getting paid to do his mysterious bidding. Considering Renfield’s mindset, it reads a lot less like ~protecting his Master~ and a lot more like--
Dracula, having a grand time: Well, that’s Miss Westenra taken care of, obstinate guardians notwithstanding. Oh, and here come my laborers for the earth moving! Lovely. What a productive few days this has been--
Renfield, Victorian era “Girlfriend” by Lady Avril Lavigne blasting in his head, attempting to murder the Count’s secondhand employees out of doing their job: DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY MAN OR HIS DIRT
Dracula, now t h i s close to having people turn up to snoop around Carfax to figure out what this guy’s problem is with the place/apologize to the homeowner and revealing his whole deal: 8)
All of which lends more weight to Renfield being less an outright Igor caricature being unduly influenced by the Count, and more like Dracula getting a taste of, How About That, Not So Fun Having a Fixated Aggro Stalker, Is It? medicine himself.
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Another yikes
In our divorce/custody agreement, baby daddy was told he needs to learn how to use a car seat. Babe is 18 months old now and he STILL is using it incorrectly, so I have to check every 👏🏻 fucking 👏🏻 time 👏🏻, especially considering he’s totaled two cars. There’s no way I’m letting him take my entire heart and soul and jeopardize her life.
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