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loonylupinblack3 · 1 year ago

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Period Trouble

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader

Warnings: swearing, nothing else i think?

Summary: you wake up with your period and are forced to go on a mission with Logan of all people

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: literally obsessed with this man rn so ofc i had to write about him. also wolverine has enhanced senses including smell but its like…. barely shown in the movies so i had to search it up to be sure, and some part of me still doubts it but for the purposes of this fic he does have it

You woke up with a groan, immediately curling into a ball. You were early. You were early and you hadn’t emotionally or physically prepared for having your period today, yet the world seemed ready to punish you, burdening you with an early cycle.

You checked the time, cursing every god and deity you knew when you realised you were supposed to have woken up half an hour ago. Wincing, you got up, your body screaming at the movement. Already your stomach was aching, the ghosts of cramps to come caressing your body.

There was knocking at your door, quiet yet firm. You already knew it was Storm on the other side of the door, no doubt in search of a reason why you failed to get up on time. It was going to be a long day.

You yelled out to Storm, promising to be out in five minutes, and got up, groggily looking for your clothes. When you’d tamed your hair and brushed your teeth, you exited your room to find Storm waiting on the other side, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

She took one look at you and sighed. “What are you wearing?”

You looked down perplexed. “....my clothes?”

She raised her eyebrow. “You’re on a mission today, remember?”

Fuck. You nearly let out a whine. You were not in the mood to go skulking around doing Xavier’s bidding when you had a constant throbbing pain assaulting your stomach, unreasonable mood swings, and exhaustion weighing you down.

Storm sent you a questioning look. “You up for this?”

The mission was nothing big. Professor X needed you to collect some sort of rare herb that had recently been shipped into the nearest city, something he needed to complete a super secret experiment you weren’t privy to. He’d just asked for help and you’d volunteered.

Oh how you regretted that decision now.

“Yeah I’m fine,” you muttered. “Let me just get changed real quick.”

Getting into your previously decided upon outfit, a plain inconspicuous one intended to blend in, you left your room again, this time with no complaint from Storm. Your stomach gave an uncomfortable clench and you sighed, making a mental note to find some nurofen before leaving for the mission.

“Why aren’t you in your outfit?” you asked, just realising Storm wasn’t wearing what you two had agreed upon yesterday.

She winced slightly. “Can’t go. Filling in for some classes.”

Your face soured but you tried not to hold it against her. Storm loved her students, and given the choice of helping them or Xavier with a low level mission, she’d obviously choose her kids. You couldn’t blame her exactly, but it meant you’d have to go on this mission alone, while not impossible by any means it would make it slightly more difficult.

You sighed. “That’s okay. I can go alone.”

When Storm winced even more your eyes narrowed in suspicion, following her with caution. “Storm…..”

She sighed guiltily. “Xavier didn’t want you to go alone. The herb’s too valuable.”

You tilted your head slightly as you entered the house’s foyer. “So who am I going with then?”

Storm’s eyes darted ahead, and you followed her gaze to find Logan Howlett leaning against the wall, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He smirked at you, “you’re looking at him sweetheart.”

You resisted the urge to groan, instead sending Storm a dirty look. You didn’t necessarily dislike Logan, but he was a lot to deal with, and you were already tired from your day that had barely begun.

You couldn’t say all that with Logan standing there however, so you muttered a, “lovely,” and walked past the man to the garage.

He followed you silently, no quip or smart ass comment which was strange for him. You’d just entered the garage, heading towards one of the cars, when you glanced back at him and found Logan stopped in the doorway, staring at you with a frown on his face. Or rather, a deeper frown than usual.

“What is it?” you asked him, standing at the hood of the car.

Logan’s eyes roved your body, searching for something. “You’re injured.”

It was your turn to frown. “What? No I’m not.”

He took a step forward, almost as if he was planning on looking for your alleged injury himself. “Don’t bullshit me Y/n, I can smell your blood.”

You made a face. “What are you talking about…..” you trailed off when you realised it, perhaps the most mortifying moment in your life.

Logan could smell your period blood. He thought you were bleeding from an injury.

You cleared your throat, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

He scoffed, walking towards you until you were face to face. You tried to step back and felt the hood of the car against your legs. “I can smell the fucking blood seeping out of you Y/n. I wouldn’t call that fine.”

You gritted your teeth to stop yourself from snapping at him. “I can assure you, I am not injured.”

You moved to walk past him but he caught your wrist, forcing you back into your position pressed against the car. “If you think I am going on this mission with you while you’re wounded, you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m not-”

“Do you think I’m an idiot darl? Is that why you’re denying being hurt while I can literally smell it on you-”

You cut him off. “I’m on my period, Logan.”

He paused, staring at you with an indecipherable expression on his face. You waited for him to speak, feeling embarrassed and furious about it. Why should you be embarrassed of your period? He was the one who was pushing you, prodding you, forcing you to tell him the source of the bleeding. If your answer made him uncomfortable, that wasn’t your fault nor your concern.

Eventually he spoke. “Alright then. Get in the car. I’m driving.”

You scowled at him. “Says who?”

He didn’t even bother looking at you, already in the driver’s seat. “Says me.”

You sighed but didn’t argue further, silently getting into the passenger seat. Logan started the car, reversing it out of the garage and driving down the long winding driveway till you got to the street.

“It’s an hour's drive to the city, give or take,” you told Logan, setting the GPS up on the car.

Logan barely glanced at it, eyes on the road, a firm grip on the steering wheel. He didn’t even respond to you. You sighed and turned away, looking out the window as the scenery passed you in flashes.

As the drive continued, you noticed Logan sending you glances every now and then. If you really focused on them, you’d almost say they seemed worried, concerned even, but they were always too quick for you to tell for certain. You were too preoccupied with your cramps that had started up anyway, and the lack of nurofen you’d forgotten to grab.

Finally, you arrived at the city, driving into the hustle and bustle of the crowded area. Logan’s hand tightened on the steering wheel, obviously not a fan of the traffic the city provided. You watched the stream of people through the window as Logan looked for a space to park, muttering under his breath.

You were mildly entertained at the amount of road rage he had, cursing every car that wasn’t at least 10 metres over the speed limit. His jaw was clenched, hand fisting the steering wheel, yet he still looked at you here and there, like you were actually wounded.

When he eventually found a parking spot the two of you got out of the car and you looked at the address Xavier gave you.

“Should be somewhere along this street,” you murmured, eyes flicking from the piece of paper to the busy street.

Logan moved behind you, so close you could feel your back against his chest, and looked at the paper in your hand. He let out a grunt and moved past you, walking forwards. You frowned and hurried your pace, not wanting to lose him amidst the crowd of people.

Luck was certainly not your side, because soon enough you’d lost him, unable to see his black leather jacket in the throng of people. You hesitated, wondering if you should look for him or just go straight to the address, when you felt an arm around your waist.

“Stay close to me,” Logan murmured into your war, his voice gravelly. “Don’t wanna lose you again.”

You glanced at him as he continued walking, not moving his arm from your waist. “How’d you find me?”

He gave you a smirk. “Followed the smell of blood.”

Again you felt your cheeks heat but you glared at him defiantly, refusing to be embarrassed. He smirked at you, flashing his teeth, as you arrived in front of the address, a plain building home to some sort of florist.

Logan finally took his hand from your waist, walking to the door with you trailing behind him. A bell gave a little jingle as you entered, and you were immediately assaulted with the smell of flowers. Different sorts of plants took up every corner of the room and Logan’s face soured as he looked around, obviously not pleased with the environment.

An old woman sat behind a desk, watering a plant with a mini watering can. You walked up to her, Logan hot on your heels. When you stopped in front of the desk Logan was so close behind you you could actually feel his chest against your back.

“Mrs May?” you asked.

The old woman looked at you with a smile, her eyes crinkling. “That’s me. What can I help you two lovebirds with? Bouquet of roses? Lilies?”

You opened your mouth, surprised, and tried to find something to say. Being mistaken for a couple shouldn’t have affected you so much, especially while on a mission, but you were flustered and could still feel Logan’s chest right against your back, his warmth almost dizzying.

“We’re not here for flowers unfortunately,” Logan spoke, saving you. Except why didn’t he specify you weren’t a couple? Did that not matter to him, what some old lady thought, or did he enjoy the idea of being thought of as your boyfriend?

Oh god. What were you thinking? Stupid period hormones.

The old lady looked at you two curiously. “Then how can I help you?”

There was a pointed silence and you realised Logan was waiting for you to speak. You cleared your throat and spoke the random sequence of words Xavier had you memorise, that would inform Mrs May just what type of buyers you were.

The woman’s eyes lit up with recognition and she nodded her head slowly. “Ah, yes, let me just go to the storage room quickly, I’ll be back….”

Mrs May tottered around the desk and through a side door, half hidden behind the multitude of plants covering the area, leaving you alone with Logan.

You took a step away from him and turned around to look at him, finding him staring at you with a frown on his face.

You frowned back at him. “What’s up with you today?”

He raised his eyebrows at you. “What is up with me? I don’t know if you’ve noticed Darl but you haven’t exactly been up to par yourself.”

You rolled your eyes at his words. “That’s not what I meant, and besides, I’m on my period.”

Logan stared at you, arms crossed. “What did ya mean then?”

“You’ve been acting strange. Less talkative and annoying like usual.”

Logan snorted. “Ever the lady.”

“I’m serious. What’s up with you?”

Logan sighed and took a step forward until he was towering over you and you had to crane your head up to look at him. “You are what’s up. I can constantly smell you bleeding, and I can’t get it out of my mind that it means you’re hurt. You’re driving me crazy sweetheart.”

Well…. That certainly wasn’t what you were expecting. Logan smirked down at you as if he knew that, and enjoyed surprising you. You cleared your throat as your eyes darted to the floor. “Well, that’s hardly my fault.”

Logan chuckled. “Not your fault no, but it is your doing whether you mean to or not.”

You swallowed, looking back up at him. “Well…. Don’t you constantly smell when people are on their periods?”

“It’s different with you. Smelling your blood just drives me crazy, plain and simple. Can’t get the instinct out of my head that blood means injury.”

The way Logan was admitting all of this, with such calm, made you think he’d been wanting to say this for a while. The unspoken confession was there, and it was up to you to decide what to do with it.

“I’m glad you care,” was what you landed on, unsure of what else to say.

Logan chuckled again, one hand snaking to your waist. “I do a lot more than care, Y/n.”

You smiled softly, looking up at him. With his other hand he brushed your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The sound of a door closing brought you out of your little bubble and you took a step back, Logan reluctantly letting go of your waist.

Mrs May, either not having seen you two or graciously deciding to ignore it, passed you a package, informing you the herb and all information involving it was inside, and to handle it with care. You nodded and thanked the old woman before exiting the building, Logan again right on your heels.

As soon as the shop’s door closed behind you Logan’s hand was back around your waist. “Not losing you this time.”

You tried not to smile, though internally you were grinning like a maniac, and let Logan lead the two of you back to the car. You didn’t even get to argue your case of driving this time, Logan already in the driver’s seat. You sighed and got into the passenger seat, resigning yourself to another hour of silence as Logan started driving, when you felt his hand on your thigh.

You looked at him but he didn’t say anything, just gave it a light squeeze as he kept his eyes on the road. You looked away, grinning. So maybe the world didn’t have it out for you after all.

#wolverine #logan howlett #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader #xmen #x-men #xmen movie #xmen movies #x men movies #marvel #hugh jackman #james logan howlett #james howlett #x men #xavier #charles xavier

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andvys · 11 days ago

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The edges of your soul (I haven't seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter eleven

⭐︎ And I'll fear no evil because I'm blind to it all

Warnings: gore gore gore, violence, blood, death, murder, angst, mentions of sexual assault, threats of r*pe (it does not happen), literal slaughter, read this chapter with caution, it's a very heavy one. one character turns into a killer, not giving away who ofc. hurt/comfort in the end

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: In the haze of your distraction, you let your guard down and the monsters you have warned your friends about catch up to you — and now you will have to pay… in one way or another.

Word count: 11.7k+

Author’s note: This chapter is a wild ride, and it’s not an easy one to read! Be prepared for some heavy angst — but it will only get better from now on hehe. @hellfire--cult and I are evil cackling knowing how shocked you all will be after this one! As always, give her some love for coming up with the sickening chapter with me and for beta reading and working on this one with me! 🤍

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

Steve awakens to the feeling of something tickling his nose causing him to scrunch it up. The feeling continues. He brings his hand up to his nose and rubs it before he drops his arm again, bringing it back to its original position – around something or someone.

He registers the warmth, the weight of a body against his own. A sweet scent fills his nose and he can’t help but breathe in deeply. It’s your scent. It’s your body against his, and it molds into him like it was meant to.

He peeks one eye open. There’s no sun shining through the blinds today, and the grey clouds outside make the RV seem darker than usual.

Steve’s chest heaves strongly when he looks down at you. You are sleeping heavily still, your cheek is squished against his chest, your hair is covering your face, and your hand is on his waist.

He breathes in shakily as his heart starts thumping strongly. He’s got you completely wrapped in his embrace, one arm is under you, and the other wrapped around you tightly, like he was afraid to let you go in his sleep.

But just like the other times you have shared a bed, he slept peacefully, unlike ever before. He wasn’t plagued by nightmares, by pictures of his best friend getting ripped away from him and torn into pieces. He didn’t wake from dreams of losing Eddie, Nancy or… you.

He just slept and he dreamed – normal dreams. He knows it is your presence that calms him, that takes away the fear in him, that makes him feel safe. He knows it should make him happy, but it only worries him.

Steve watches you, his hand slowly moving up to your face to push away your hair. His lips curl into a smile as you lean into his touch, sighing softly in your sleep. Your eyelashes flutter, and you press yourself further against him, making his heart flutter.

Screwed. He is screwed.

The bed dips faintly under him, he goes to turn around, only to feel the tiny paws on his shoulder. The wolf pup must have escaped your embrace to explore the RV. You have taken such good care of it yesterday, it only made Steve’s case worse to see you take care of the lost little pup.

You sat outside by the fire for what seemed like forever, warming up the pup and feeding him with some canned meat. You hoped for the mother to appear; you even whistled in hopes that it would attract her attention, but she never came. So you took him into the RV, wrapped him in your blanket, and held him against your chest. Steve joined you moments later. He lied down with you and you talked for what felt like forever. It wasn’t his plan to fall asleep, let alone cuddle you in his sleep, but he won’t lie and act like it doesn’t feel good, like it doesn’t feel right.

He held you all night, you and the pup who found comfort in your embrace, just the way he did too.

A chuckle falls from Steve's lips when the pup jumps on top of you, wobbling on his paws as he balances on your shoulders and leans down to rub against your cheek, making you scrunch your nose up in your sleep.

“Hey buddy,” Steve chuckles as he lifts his hand to pet him, his palm is twice the size of his little head. The pup suddenly jumps at him, attacking him with licks to his forehead.

“Whoa!” Steve laughs softly as he furrows his eyebrows and shuts his eyes as the pup licks his eyebrow. “That’s–” He laughs as he starts rubbing against his cheek.

All the movement and the laughter make you stir against him. You open your eyes slowly, furrowing your brows as you take in the sight before you. An instant smile appears on your face, your heart fluttering at what you’re seeing first thing in the morning.

The wolf pup is on top of Steve, rubbing against his face, purring. And Steve is chuckling softly, holding him. His hair is messy, and his eyes are still sleepy. He looks so cute.

You feel his arm under your body, and you realize just how close you actually are, how you fell asleep in his arms the night before. Your cheeks heat up, and your stomach jumps weirdly. It’s not the first time, it’s the third time, but unlike those other times, you had no reason to fall asleep in the same bed or all cuddled up.

You are not complaining though; if it was up to you, you’d have this every night.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

His voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You look back into his eyes. He is smiling at you, making your heart flutter even more because you can’t help but wonder what it would be like if you woke up together as something more than friends — if he pulled you closer and his lips met—

The pup jumps at you so suddenly, you fall back into the pillow behind you, making Steve chuckle again.

“Oh my god,” he laughs as he watches the pup attack your face the way he did to him just moments ago, before he nuzzles into your neck.

“I think my heart is going to explode,” you whisper as you wrap your hand around the puppy. “He is so stinking cute.”

Steve pushes himself up onto his elbows, watching you with a smile on his face, how the pup cuddles you, how it nuzzles against you, like you’re the mother. His heart warms at the sight of it in a way it never did before.

“He loves you.”

You pout at his words, your eyes softening.

“He loves you too,” you whisper.

“Nah,” Steve shakes his head, still smiling. “Not like that. He feels safe with you.” Just the way he does.

“I wish I could keep him,” you say as you push yourself up, holding the pup against your chest. “But I have a feeling his mother is still around.”

Steve nods, “yeah. We should stay put another day, if we don’t find her, we leave.”

You nod in agreement, though you can’t hide the sadness in your eyes. You know you shouldn’t have gotten attached to the pup as quickly, but you did.

“Hey,” Steve whispers, reaching for your hand. “Maybe we’ll find you a dog puppy someday.”

Warmth rushes through you as he squeezes your hand. You so badly want to entwine your fingers with his.

“Yeah,” you smile, nodding. “I always wanted a dog, a big one.”

“Yeah? What kind?”

You shrug, looking down at the pup cuddling against you. “A german shepherd.”

“Then we’ll find you a german shepherd, Sunshine.”

“Really?”

Steve sees the way your eyes light up at his promise and it only causes his smile to widen.

“Yeah, unless we don’t find his mother, then we’ll keep this little buddy.” He whispers, petting the pup. “You think we can raise him like a dog?”

“Oh yeah! If wolves are raised around people and get proper training, they’re basically like dogs! Just with sharper teeth and more strength.”

“You know a lot about them?” Steve smiles, raising his eyebrows.

“Kinda, I guess? They’re my favorite animals.”

“Oh?”

Steve looks surprised, and it confuses you.

“Why do you seem so surprised?”

He shrugs as he turns on his side, moving closer to you.

“I don’t know. I just thought you’d like something uh… more tame.”

You squint your eyes at him, tilting your head to the side. “Tame? Like what, a sheep?”

Steve chuckles, growing a little nervous under your gaze. He shakes his head, “no, not a sheep. I thought that maybe your favorite animal would be a kitten or a duckling.”

“Oh! So you thought that I’m too soft to like a wild animal?” You chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“No, no. It’s just…” He pauses, trying to think of the right words to say. “It’s just… you are soft– not in a bad way!” He panics as his eyes suddenly widen, and he looks like he is afraid that he said the wrong thing again.

You keep your face straight, enjoying his struggle… a bit too much.

“In a good way, in a… a pure– not like that… fuck.” He sighs, bringing his hand up to his face. “Just in a good way.”

You can’t hold back your giggles when you notice the fear in his eyes and how he must think that he offended you.

His shoulders slump, and he relaxes when he realizes that you aren’t offended by his words.

“Oh Steve,” you murmur as you reach out to him, tapping his nose. “You still think I’m some soft, pure thing. You think that I’m a sheep, don’t you?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “Not a sheep, certainly not a sheep.”

No, you could never be that, especially not by the end of this day.

“Alright,” you mumble, still amused by his panicking. You sit up and take a look out the window. The pup gets off you and jumps from the bed. “Wow, the weather looks nice today,” you frown at the grey clouds.

“Yeah.” Steve mumbles as he sits up too.

“Let's get some coffee, and some food for baby over there.” You nudge your chin towards the pup sniffing on the fridge.

Steve chuckles, “we should probably give him a name.”

“Not yet.” You shake your head.

“Eddie called him Ozzy already.”

You roll your eyes, “yeah uh no! Not happening!”

You scoot to the edge of the bed and lean down to put on your shoes. You tie your laces and push yourself up when Steve stops you, reaching for your hand. You look down at it, eyes stuck on his large hand enveloping yours. His warmth inviting as always.

“Hey,” Steve whispers softly, looking up at you.

You look into his eyes. All the amusement is gone, his face is serious again, his lips curled into a soft frown.

“Are you feeling okay?”

You furrow your eyebrows, tilting your head to the side again.

“What do you mean?”

“After yesterday… After our conversation a-and after you jumped into the water?”

Your heart flutters at the way he cares, at the softness in his eyes, and his touch.

You nod, giving him a genuine smile.

“Yeah, Steve. I feel okay, I feel good actually.” You squeeze his hand, promising him that.

“You’ll let me know if that changes, okay?” He says softly, giving you a pointed look.

“I will,” you whisper with no hesitation.

Steve squeezes your hand back. He looks into your eyes for a moment longer before he tilts his head down, looking at your joined hands, at the way your hand fits into his… so perfectly. Something in him stirs, something in him yearns to keep holding on, to pull you closer.

He clears his throat and lets go of your hand, “alright, let’s go grab some coffee.”

The pup is the first to jump out the moment Steve opens the door of the RV.

Nancy and Eddie are sitting in front of the small fire, each with a cup of coffee in their hands, a map on the ground before them. Eddie looks up, his eyes lighten up.

“Ozzy!” He grins as he puts his coffee down to pick up the pup.

Nancy laughs beside him when she sees your disapproving expression.

“His name is not Ozzy!”

Eddie ignores you as he pets the pup, “don’t listen to her, you got the most badass name, Ozzy.”

Steve watches the way you roll your eyes and the way you try to hold back your smile. He chuckles softly and turns around, giving Nancy a nod as he reaches for the coffee pot. He pours you a cup first and hands it to you before he pours his own.

Silence settles between you all for a moment. Eddie lifts his blanket over the pup before he continues to pet him, smiling brightly.

Nancy tries to put her focus back on the map but finds herself distracted by you and Steve. Her curiosity is too big as she looks between you both. She watches the way Steve puts sugar in your coffee and the way you steal glances at him while he isn’t looking.

A smile tugs on her lips when she sees him do the same, stealing glances when you’re not looking.

How didn’t she notice before?

“So what’s the plan for the day?” Eddie speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

Steve glances at you, eyes meeting yours.

“We thought we’d stay here for another day, see if we can find the mother or if she finds him,” he explains as he gestures to the pup in Eddie’s lap. “And uh, you two can get some rest for now, get some sleep. Sunshine and I are gonna check out the nearby town afterwards.”

Nancy lifts her mug to her lips, nodding at both of you, “sounds like a plan.”

“And if we don’t find the mother?” Eddie asks, looking a little too excited at the thought of it.

“Then we keep him.”

Eddie’s eyes lock with yours. He wants to keep the pup just as much as you do.

“We’ll fight over the name if we do, right?” He murmurs, squinting his eyes.

“Mhmm,” you nod.

Steve chuckles at the two of you. He looks down into his coffee. He can see his reflection in the dark liquid, he looks away.

“You can give him two names,” Nancy shrugs as she gets up from her seat. She leans down and picks up the map. Pointing at you, she looks at Eddie, “she gets to pick first, she saved him.”

Eddie’s eyes widen, a frown making its way on his face, “that’s not fair, you are just saying that because she’s a girl.”

“That’s such bullshit,” Nancy chuckles as she continues her way to the RV. “Now get your ass up, we gotta catch up on sleep.”

“Yes ma’am,” Eddie mumbles as he gets up as well after putting the pup down, he pets his tiny head, “keep these two on their toes will ya, bud?”

Eddie winks at you before he looks over at Steve, wiggling his eyebrows, “have fun playing mom and dad.”

Steve gives him a deadpan look, sighing in annoyance.

But you pretend not to hear, not wanting to blush in front of Steve now. You busy yourself with your coffee.

“C’mon,” Nancy calls out to him as she opens the door. “Before I take the bed.”

Eddie skips up the stairs, chuckling. “I don’t want it anyways, who knows what happened there last night.” He says loudly before he shuts the door. The last thing you hear is Nancy’s laughter.

You choke on your coffee as your eyes widen.

Steve leans forward, ignoring Eddie’s comment. He pats your back, “you okay, Sunshine?”

You nod your head quickly, blinking away the tears that built up in your eyes as you start coughing.

“Peachy.” You manage to croak out after a moment.

From the corner of your eye, you notice movement in the window. You turn towards it and find Eddie looking out, wiggling his eyebrows at you as he puckers his lips, making kissing movements as he points between you and Steve.

Your eyes widen, and your cheeks heat up strongly, burning hotly even beneath the cold wind.

Right. You forgot that you haven’t talked to him yet after yesterday, when he called you jealous after you found out about Steve and Nancy’s history.

You shake your head at him, wanting nothing more than to flip him the bird.

You see him laughing.

God. This is gonna be a long day.

The RV is filled with nothing but silence as Eddie wakes up hours later. He opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling, feeling tired still. A weird, unsettling feeling pulled him out of his sleep.

He swallows the lump in his throat as he pushes himself up, placing his palm against his beating heart, and he looks around. He tries to remember his dreams, if a nightmare had left him feeling weird, but he can’t recall it.

Nancy isn’t sleeping anymore, she isn’t around the RV at all, but he can hear the movement outside. He peeks out the window to see her cleaning her gun. He closes his eyes and breathes out in relief.

Despite being stuck in this world, he rarely feels unsettled. He rarely feels fear nowadays, which is surprising considering he almost died because of it. He used to run from things, he used to wake from nightmares covered in sweat, he used to feel crippling anxiety. It’s not like that anymore. He doesn’t know what it was that changed him, if it was a sudden surge of strength and confidence or if it was Nancy’s presence or something entirely else.

But he is not the guy who woke in fear every day, not anymore. So he feels nothing but confused as the unsettling feeling in him continues to spread.

“Calm down, Munson.” He mumbles to himself as he rubs his chest. He makes his way into the bathroom and splashes some cold water into his face before he puts his jacket and his shoes back on.

When he walks outside, he takes an immediate look around, hoping that you and Steve haven’t left yet.

His shoulders slump in relief when he finds the two of you on the field with the pup, playing with him as you and Steve throw sticks for the pup to catch.

Eddie takes a deep breath before he makes his way down the stairs, he glances at Nancy, “can’t sleep?”

Nancy shakes her head. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as she continues to clean her gun, polishing it. “Took an hour nap, woke back up. It’s not my day, I think.”

Eddie nods in agreement, he looks around, eyeing the snow covered field, the road nearby, and the forest that suddenly feels eerie to him. Nothing is moving, the wind isn’t howling the way it usually does. The silence is unsettling, adding to the feeling growing inside of him. There is a fog spreading as the grey clouds grow darker.

The darkness will bring nothing good.

“I think we should hit the road.”

Nancy’s movements stop, she looks into the fire for a moment before she looks up at him. Her blue eyes flashing with concern when she sees the look in his eyes.

“What? We said we’d–”

“I know what we said,” Eddie mumbles, glancing towards you and Steve, neither of you seems affected by the darkening clouds.

“Is everything okay?” Nancy frowns.

Eddie breathes in deeply, continuing to look around as though in search of something, for danger.

“Yeah, just… have a bad feeling about the weather.” He lies. He wishes it were only that.

Nancy doesn’t believe him; she can see right through him. She gets up and throws her gun on the chair.

“Eddie.” Her voice is stern.

He gulps, bringing his hand up to his chest again, which she notices right away.

Her frown deepens, and she shakes her head at him, “what is it?” She asks a little softer now, bringing her hand up to his upper arm. “You were fine before. What happened? Did you have a nightmare? Are you dealing with panic attacks again…?” She whispers softly.

Eddie shakes his head, sighing.

“No,” he murmurs as he stares at her, intensely. “I just… I just think we should leave this place.”

She presses her lips into a thin line as she looks into his eyes, trying to figure him out, trying to figure out the fear lingering in them, but it only infects her as well. She doesn’t understand where this growing fear is coming from or why, but it makes her feel unsettled too.

She looks into the forest and then at the clouds in the sky. Grey. Nothing but grey clouds. No red in them, no lighting surging through them. A part of her feels relieved. The other part feels a kind of fear she hasn’t had to deal with yet.

Nancy takes a deep breath as she slowly looks towards the field, but you and Steve are no longer there.

“If the wolf mother was around, she would have been here by now. We should go; there is no use staying here any longer.”

Nancy looks back at him.

“We’ll stop in the town down the road, and then we’ll get back on main.” Eddie speaks sternly, which surprises her, not knowing this side of him. “I’m not accepting any no’s.”

She is a little taken aback when he brushes past her and turns his back to her, walking along the RV as his eyes are set on the field, “I’m gonna get Steve and–”

“Eddie.”

“You heard what I said, Wheeler–”

“Eddie!”

Only as she says his name a second time, does he pick up on the trembling in her voice, the fear.

He halts in his tracks. Staring down into the snow, he feels the hairs on his neck stand up, goosebumps rising without him knowing why she sounds so afraid all the sudden. He doesn’t know what to expect when he turns around, but the fear grips him tightly.

He feels the threat without having to look.

Eddie slowly brings his hand up to his belt as he turns around. His eyes widen as his heart lurches to his throat when he meets Nancy’s panicked gaze, when he sees the gun to her head and the woman standing behind her.

“Don’t even think about it, boy.” The woman calls out to him, her eyes stuck on his hand.

He instantly reaches for the gun in his belt when the sound of a gun cocking behind him makes him freeze.

“Nuh uh.” A man’s voice murmurs behind him, “drop the gun or this pretty girl right there will be covered in the remains of your brain.”

He feels the gun against his head now. He sees the fear in Nancy’s wide eyes. He feels his own fear eating at him. The despair clinging to him now.

“Take whatever you need and get the fuck out of here.” Eddie says through gritted teeth, feeling a surge of anger rushing through him.

The man behind him chuckles.

“I don’t think you’ll like what I’m here for.”

Eddie’s face curls in disgust and in rage. He hasn’t even seen him yet, but he can tell what kind of man he can expect.

Nancy’s hand is shaking, her eyes are filled with fear as she looks over Eddie’s shoulder before her eyes lock back with his.

She wants to fight. She wants to fight so badly but she is crippled with fear.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

Eddie’s head snaps up at the third voice. A guy walks around the RV, brushing past the woman and Nancy. A gun is strapped to his thigh, a machete in his hand. He is around their age. Tall, dark hair, a wicked look on his face that shows Eddie nothing but cruelty.

The woman shared the same expression as him.

The guy stops, sparing Eddie a glance before he puts his attention on Nancy. His eyes roaming her figure as he brings his machete up to her face, tilting her chin up with the blade.

So those are the monsters you have told him about.

“Don’t touch her!” Eddie snaps at him as the fear wears off and the anger grips at him. “I swear to god, don’t fucking touch her or I’ll–”

Before he can even finish his sentence, he gets pushed and thrown to the ground. He barely gets to recover before he feels the heavy boot stomping on his back, forcing him to stay down.

“Let him go!”

“Tie these two up, will ya, Randall?” The man keeping Eddie down orders, gun still pressed against his head. “Now… where are your little friends?”

“Come on, buddy.” You whisper to the pup, petting his head, “call out to your mama, you got this.”

Steve is standing with his arms crossed, a big smile on his face as he watches you. You are kneeling on the snow, not caring about the cold digging through your jeans. The wolf pup has been trying to howl for the past ten minutes, though with failed attempts.

“How does one teach a wolf to howl?” You ask, looking up at Steve.

He shrugs, “guess you gotta show him.”

He chuckles when you roll your eyes at him, “I don’t think that it would sound very cute.”

Steve kneels down beside you, looking down at the pup who rolls around in the snow instead of howling to lure in his mother. He reaches his hand out, petting his belly.

“Maybe he picked you out to be his mother,” Steve chuckles, watching with fondness in his eyes.

“Would that make you his dad?” You blurt out without thinking.

Steve raises his eyebrows and turns to you, amusement flashing across his face when he sees the realization of your words sink in. Your eyes widen, and you start blushing beneath his gaze.

“I’m… I mean because he–”

“Sure.” Steve shrugs.

Your words get caught in your throat, and your cheeks heat up further. Something stirs in your chest as you look into his eyes, something deep, something hopeful.

He doesn’t look away from you like you expect him to; he stares into your eyes just the way you stare into his. His gaze causes your heart to stop for a moment.

The pup jumps up and around you both, kicking some snow into your lap, forcing your attention away from Steve. A giggle falls from your lips when it jumps towards you, crawling into your lap and nuzzling against your hand.

“You know what, Stevie might be right,” you chuckle as you pet it. “I’ll happily be your mama.”

Steve stares at you, his eyes softening more and more. Those words made his heart skip and flutter strongly, catching him off guard a little. His cheeks heat up for some reason, probably burning a bright red.

“Guess we’ll just have to take you with us, huh? But first I need you to howl, I need to make sure,” you whisper. “Just one howl, baby.”

Steve forces his eyes from you, he looks into the forest, squinting his eyes.

“I think if she was still around, she’d be–”

A gunshot cuts him off, echoing through the large field and the forest.

Your blood runs cold, and you both freeze.

The pup jumps off your lap and runs off in the direction of the forest, giving you no time to grab him.

You and Steve turn towards each other, the looks in your eyes matching. Fear.

No words are spoken as you both move into action. You are the first to jump up, glancing at the pup one more time before you take off. Steve is right behind you as he reaches for the knife in his belt.

You grab your gun, clicking off the safety. You hold it tightly in your hand. Your heart begins to pound strongly against your ribcage, your throat closing up from the panic rising up inside you.

Million thoughts run through your head. The worry for your friends coursing through you like lightning.

You don’t know what kind of danger to expect, what kind of death you will face now.

Infected. Creatures. Or monsters.

You let your guard down. You let it down, and now you will pay in some way.

You pick up the pace when you are closer to the road. Steve’s footsteps echo behind you. The snow slows you both down. Neither of you is thinking, neither of you tried to come up with a plan, there can’t be one in a moment like this.

Your friends are in danger, that much is clear.

You have a feeling, a hunch. That sickening realization is rushing through you before you even set eyes on what you know you will face.

What he had never faced before.

Your blood runs colder, and your heart stops beating completely when your eyes lock with Eddie’s first. There is a machete to his throat, his nose is bleeding, dripping down onto the pavement he is kneeling on.

Nancy is right beside him, kneeling with her hands tied behind her back. You can see how much she is trembling, how scared she is.

You freeze, halting in your steps as you take in the sight before you.

Your eyes move up and down their bodies, making sure they aren’t hurt. Neither of them is shot or seriously injured, but you can tell by the dirt on their clothes and the state of their hair that they had been dragged from the RV to the road.

Anger ripples through you, killing any fear that lived in you just moments ago.

Three. Three of them. Four of you.

Two men. One woman.

One is standing behind Eddie, smiling cruelly at you as you lock eyes with him for a moment. The woman standing next to Nancy is holding a gun to her head. Her eyes are void of anything. You have encountered people like her, like them.

And lastly, your eyes meet the ones of the guy who shot to lure both of you in. He is big and burly. A sickening smile spreads across his face when Steve steps in front of you, pushing you behind him.

“There is no use, boy.” He chuckles as he holsters his gun. He raises his eyebrows at you, eyes moving between your face and the gun. “Put the gun down, kid.”

You step around Steve, shaking your head as you clench your jaw.

“Let my friends go.” You demand, tightening the hold of your gun.

They all chuckle, sharing glances with each other – angering you further.

Steve’s eyes move back and forth between his friends and the man who is eying you with a smirk on his face. He can see the look in his eyes from miles away, the disgustingly wide pupils.

A mixture of rage and despair rushes through him. The panic of not knowing how to get you all out of this situation. His fist clenches around his knife, his eyes locked with Eddie’s.

“Put the gun down,” the man repeats as he motions with his hand.

The woman shoots into the sky before she puts her aim back on Nancy’s head.

You all flinch, Nancy especially.

“Put your weapons down, now!” The woman orders roughly as she nudges Nancy’s head with the gun.

Your eyes never stray away from the man, your gaze never faltering. You know he wants you scared, you know he wants you trembling in fear.

Steve is the first to move, he throws his knife onto the ground, the blade clinking against the pavement.

“It’s okay, Sunshine.” He whispers as he takes your gun from your hands and throws it down as well. “It’s gonna be okay.” He isn’t sure if he even believes his own words.

“Randall,” he orders, never looking away from you either. “Tie them up.”

“What the hell do you want!?” Steve grumbles in anger, his eyes burning with rage. “You want food? We got it, you take it and you get the hell out of here–”

“That’s cute.” The woman chuckles, shaking her head at him. “Does it look like we’re starving?”

Steve clenches his jaw, breathing in angrily.

“No, I suppose not.” You speak in anger as you look the man up and down.

The guy, Randall, stops before you two. He looks down at you, holding his machete tightly in his hand.

You know you can’t fight back now, not when there is a gun to Nancy’s head. But you feel desperate to fight back. You’ve been in bad situations before, but it never came this far. You always managed to get away before this.

“Get on your knees.” He orders, glaring at Steve.

You have no choice, none of you do.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” Randall asks as he lifts his machete up to your throat.

Your heart keeps beating strongly, not out of fear. Not now.

Steve’s eyes flare in anger. The urge to rip the machete from his hand and handle this growing deeper and stronger.

“Don’t fucking touch her or I’ll–”

“Or you’ll what?” Randall mocks him, catching you off guard when he delivers a punch to his cheek before he forces him to his knees and gets behind him, grabbing his wrists.

Steve grunts in pain, and he curses under his breath. “Fucking asshole.”

Your breathing quickens, the fire in you burning deeper and stronger.

You slowly get on your knees, knowing there is nothing you can do about it without losing one of your friends. If you move now, there will be a bullet in Nancy’s head, and you will not lose her.

You never break eye contact with that man before you, not even when he slowly begins to make his way towards you. You know where he wants you, he wants you to feel scared, intimidated.

He wants you to feel like prey.

But you are no prey.

Your heart is racing in your chest, though no longer out of fear. You can’t explain the feeling rising in you, you have never felt anything like this before.

You know what will happen.

You always do.

But anger never flared up in you so strongly.

The sickening look in his eyes is so clear, the disgusting smile spreading further as he grins at you wickedly. You can see how much he is enjoying this, and it does nothing but add fuel to the anger and the adrenaline growing in you.

Hatred burns in you the way it never did before, a growing lust to take him apart and feed him and his friends to the infected taking place inside of you, especially when you feel Nancy’s fear and Eddie’s despair, when you hear Steve grunt in pain.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

Steve glances at you, needing a moment to register that those words fell from your lips.

“I’m gonna kill every single one of you.”

Eddie looks into your eyes as you repeat your threat. A shiver runs down his spine when he realizes that it wasn’t a threat but a promise. There’s no emotion in your voice, no fear, no bluff, nothing.

He can see it now, how you survived on your own for so long.

Randall chuckles behind you as he grabs your arms forcefully, wrapping the rope around your wrists. “You know how many people threatened us? What’s a small little girl like you gonna do, huh?” He asks as he works on tying you up.

The burly guy kneels before you, cocking his head to the side as he reaches out to touch your face.

“Don’t touch her!” Steve snaps at him with nothing but venom in his voice as he watches them both corner you. He feels helpless and desperate. The fear in him kills him slowly as he is scared for you. “Get your filthy hands off her!”

But the man barely looks at him, he keeps his eyes on you, caressing your cheek, even as you lean away.

“Don’t worry, man.” Randall chuckles behind you. “I’ll fuck her little brains o–”

You throw your head back against his face with force, wanting nothing more than to hurt him, to break their bones, to kill. The loud crunch gives you the outcome you were hoping for.

“You fucking bitch!” He cries out in pain, dropping your hands and the ropes he was working on, leaving the knot unfastened.

Before you can even react, the man before you slaps you with the back of his hand, cutting through your skin in the process. Your head hits the pavement, causing your ear to ring.

Steve calls out your name in panic, rising to his feet, ready to fight even with his hands tied behind his back. But Randall recovers quickly as he lurches forward and kicks his knees in, forcing him back on the ground.

“Stay the fuck down!”

Eddie says your name, calling out to you in despair.

Nancy stares in shock as she looks between you and Steve.

“God.” The man sighs as he looks up into the sky. “I love it when they put up a fight, makes it all even better.” He steps forward. “I’m gonna have so much fun with this pretty thing.”

Steve senses heighten, fearing for you and Nancy as the anger takes further hold of him. His gaze is on the ground as he struggles, trying to tear the ropes around his wrists.

He freezes when he feels a hand grabbing his chin, making him look up. The man towers over him with a disgusting smirk on his face.

Steve freezes.

“Yeah… I’m definitely gonna have fun with you.”

Nausea washes over him as he takes in the dilated pupils in his eyes, the perverted look that was never meant for you but for him.

“Yeah, you look tight.”

The bile rises in Steve’s throat as a new kind of fear he never felt before rushes through him.

Eddie’s and Nancy’s faces grow pale, both unable to move, both feeling helpless as they watch the man grab Steve by the collar of his jacket, dragging him forward.

“Get your hands off me!” Steve grunts through his shock, trying to fight despite the restraints on his wrists. His movements cause something to fall out of his jacket pocket, landing right by the feet of his attacker.

“Aw, have problems breathing, pretty boy?” The woman chuckles, eying the inhaler that Steve kept in his pocket in case you ever have an attack again.

Even after your sickness, he never removed it.

“Let him go!” You scream, struggling as you push yourself back up on your knees, watching in panic as Steve gets dragged away. “Let him go if you want to live–”

Randall grabs your cheeks. There is blood running from his nose. Knowing that you broke it makes you feel satisfied. He kneels before you, moving close to your face. His disgusting breath hitting your cheeks.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn too. I’m gonna make your friends watch and I’ll make it extra painful for your little move back there.”

“I’m going to rip your throat out,” you spit into his face, feeling nothing but uncontrollable rage now.

“You–” He stops, eyes growing wide at the sound echoing through the trees.

Everyone freezes, even the man dragging Steve. He keeps his hold on him as he looks around.

You look over Randall’s shoulder, eyes locking with Eddie’s.

Howling.

“Wolves?” The woman mumbles as she lowers her gun and steps away from Nancy. “I haven’t heard a wolf in–”

A shadow moves past you, catching you off guard.

Before any of them can blink, the woman is taken to the ground with a force she can’t fight against. She drops her gun. Her scream echoes through the empty streets as teeth sink into her throat.

The wolf you’ve been calling out to since last night, mauling at her neck.

Randall turns around.

You struggle against the restraints, cutting your skin open in the process. You don’t think, you don’t have the time to. You only see one way out. The adrenaline courses through you, gripping at you tightly.

He reaches for his gun, ready to take out the wolf.

You lurch forward, hands still bound behind your back. You don’t see another way out. You sink your teeth into his ear, biting through it with a force that could only be triggered by a hatred and an anger you didn’t even know you could have.

He only manages to gasp in pain, unable to even fight against you at the sudden attack. The gun drops from his hand, clashing against the ground. His blood splatters all over your face as you rip his flesh with your teeth, not caring about the weight of your action, about the metallic taste now in your mouth.

All you feel is disgust for these people, knowing that you weren’t the first they tried to do this to, knowing that they were successful all the other times.

Who knows how many people they have done these things to?

Who knows how many people they have raped and murdered?

You would do anything to stop that from happening. You would do anything to save your friends, to save him. Anything. Even this. Even if it means losing yourself. Even if it means becoming a monster yourself.

You pull away and spit out the flesh and the blood in disgust. The blood oozing from the spot his ear used to be getting all over your face and your hair.

He brings his hand up to the side of his head, weakly. His head turns towards you as he looks at you in horror. In this moment, you see into his eyes, into his soul and you see what you have caused, but even that isn’t enough.

You rip your hands free from the ropes and push yourself up. You reach for the gun he is weakly struggling to get to. You rip it off the ground and look into his eyes as you finish him off. Shooting into his head, not once or even twice, you shoot several bullets into his head.

The wolf dragging the woman across the floor back and forth, doesn’t even flinch nor do your friends.

Steve stares at you, his eyes wide just like Eddie’s and Nancy’s. You are dripping with blood, the look in your eyes not recognizable as you hold the gun in your hand.

You slowly look up, eyes locking with the man who is still holding onto Steve’s collar. Without a second of hesitation, you move your arm up and aim at him, pulling the trigger, but the gun never goes off, the clicking sound telling you that it’s empty.

You throw it on the ground. Your eyes search for the machete of the guy you killed. Blood drips down your chin as you lean down and grab the handle. You wrap your fingers around it, gripping it tightly.

“I–” The man who held Steve, drops his hand and lets him go, dropping him back on the ground again. His eyes move between you and the wolf still mauling at the woman’s neck, her body just as limp as the guy you murdered.

You look up at him, eyes flashing with an even deeper rage. His threats of what he wanted to do to Steve brought out the ugliest side of you.

He didn’t fear you before, no one did. But the sight of you now is sickly and disturbing, you don’t have to look at your reflection to see what kind of monster would do this.

It doesn’t matter how much height or weight he holds to you, he had lost the moment your teeth went through Randall’s neck and his blood splattered all over your face.

The wolf growls at the man after letting go of the woman, her teeth dripping with blood just like your own. She circles him, ready to attack for you if he tries to run.

You start walking towards him, turning him into your prey now. He should have stayed far away, he shouldn’t have put a finger on them, on him. You don’t look at Steve or Eddie or even Nancy. You don’t look at anything but your target.

You want him to suffer, knowing what would have happened if things had gone different, knowing what he would have done to Steve.

“We– let’s forget this,” the man speaks, clenching his jaw as he looks at you with fear in his eyes. He glances at his dead friends as he begins to back up, not even considering reaching for his gun that is still in his holster. “Okay? I’ll take my truck– and we can simply pretend we never met. Yeah!? I have so many things in my truck–”

You swing the machete before he can even finish his sentence. You swing it between his legs, cutting through his testicles. He yells out in pain, eyes growing wide as he stares at you in horror.

You rip the blade out and he drops to his knees, murmuring nonsense as he looks down in shock, watching his blood rush onto the pavement.

But you aren’t done. You are far from done.

You see red.

You see blood red.

You made a promise and you never break them.

Your friends watch. They watch how you start stabbing him with the machete, again and again, drawing more and more blood with each stab into his body. Draining the life out of him. Stabbing until no more grunts of pain or whimpers fall from his mouth. Even when he lies lifeless on the ground, eyes wide and void, you don’t stop. The blade rips through the flesh, blood splatters all over you until you are dripping in it. Like you want his ghost to see what a mistake it was to mess with him.

Steve calls out your name.

But you are lost in the haze, drowning in the hatred, blinded by everything you didn’t know lived inside of you.

“Sunshine…”

His voice is somewhere far away, but you hear it, you still hear it. It pulls you out, he pulls you out of the trance you are in.

You drop the bloody machete on the ground and step away. Your chest is heaving, your eyes dark and burning with despair. Your hands are dripping with blood, everything is dripping with blood.

For a moment, you stand there, breathing heavily as you look down at the slaughter caused by your own hands. Your shoulders are rising up and down heavily as you try to catch your breath. You look down at your palms, at your fingers that are dark red. You can wash them, you can wash the blood off, but your hands are forever tainted. Your soul is too.

You didn’t kill. You slaughtered.

And you’d do it again. For him, you would do anything.

An angry scream rips through your throat, and it takes every bit of power left in you.

You step away from the body on the ground. You turn away from it, facing the other one that you killed. There is blood. Everywhere. It’s all over the ground, it’s all over your face, all over your hands. You can’t even wipe it away.

As the adrenaline wears off and reality faces you again, you feel the sickness in your throat rising up. Your chest starts heaving, and your vision becomes blurry; you can’t breathe in anymore, and the metallic taste makes you nauseous.

A pained whimper falls from your lips as you step away from the bodies lying around you. You stumble back into the field, not noticing the wolf pup who found his way back here, sitting in the field watching you.

You drop to your knees, the blood drips into the snow, redness covering the white ground. You stare at it for seconds, minutes, for what feels like hours. You stare at it until the wolf who ripped the woman’s throat apart walks past you.

You stare at it, looking into its eyes. You see your sickening reflection in them.

It’s the mother of the pup you have saved. She knew where he was, your scent was all over him. You saved one of her own, so she saved your friends.

A tear slips down your cheek as you watch her walk away, back to her pup, back into the forest.

Your bottom lip begins to tremble, the saliva on your tongue building up to the point you can’t take anymore. You clutch your stomach as you puke out the lunch you have eaten earlier.

“Take it off, Nance. Please.” Steve trembles as he struggles with the ropes around his wrists. His eyes burn with tears as he watches you lose yourself in what looks like a panic attack.

Nancy stumbles forward, her hands are shaking after cutting through her own restraints with the knife Eddie managed to reach for.

Once free, Steve jumps to his feet and grabs the inhaler that fell out of his jacket. He runs to you, heart pounding in his chest. Worry etched into his features. He drops to his knees beside you.

Tears are running down your cheeks, you are trying to breathe, but you can’t. Your throat is wheezing, and your eyes are filled with panic.

“Sunshine,” Steve whispers, his own voice trembling. “I’m here. I’m here, you hear me?” He is desperate. Grabbing your bloody cheeks, he forces your attention on him.

“I’m here, Sunshine.” He repeats, moving closer to you in the snow. “You have to breathe with me, okay… baby?” He whispers as he hands you the inhaler, in case this is what you need.

You nod quickly and grab it.

“Steve…”

Your whimper breaks his heart, the whole sight before him breaks his heart.

Nancy and Eddie watch from the side, their own faces pained.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m okay.” Steve whispers to you as he grabs your hand and brings it up to his chest. “We’re all okay.”

You look down at your hand on his chest, at the blood you are getting all over him. You pull away and try to rub it off. You won’t calm down until you get it all off you.

Nancy senses your distress and she wastes no time to make her way over to you. “Hey…” She calls out to you softly, getting down beside you, she places her hand on your back, whispering your name. “Come with me. We’ll get you cleaned up, okay?.” She takes your arm softly, gesturing to the blood you can’t get off.

You sniffle as you nod quickly.

Nancy helps you to your feet, wrapping her arm around you.

Steve watches with a worried look on his face. He rises to his feet, reaching his arms out to you. He takes your hand and gives it a strong squeeze before Nancy leads you away.

He doesn’t want to let you go, he doesn’t want any distance between you, not now. But Nancy pulls you away and towards the RV.

Steve follows, not planning on following you both inside, but he just needs to be close.

“Steve…” Eddie murmurs as he starts walking after him, ignoring the bodies on the ground.

“I’m fine.” Steve mumbles, only really caring about you at this moment. He feels angry and weak. He watched someone hit you, he watched while he was dragged away, and he was unable to fight back.

He swore to himself that he would protect you, that he would protect his friends – he did none of these things.

Eddie picks up the pace, walking up beside him. He stays silent, for a moment at least.

Steve glances at him. There is dried blood on Eddie’s face, a forming bruise on his eye. His nose is swollen; it’s clear he put up a fight, unlike him.

“Hey, she will be fine…” Eddie speaks up after a moment.

Steve frowns as he stops in front of the RV. He looks around, the fire is still burning, small but burning. He sees the blood on the snow, from where Eddie must have been beaten. A heavy feeling settles in his chest, knowing he wasn’t there to help, knowing that there wasn’t even anything he could have done.

“Did you see her face? She is not fine.” Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he begins to pace around.

“She will be! She is just shocked!” Eddie exclaims. Everything that happened has shaken him up as well.

“Yeah, no shit, Eddie!”

“Harrington, calm the fuck down before I puncture a tranquilizer on you. I also saw my friend getting punched and threatened to be taken advantage of. So please…” Eddie begs, his voice is shaking.

Steve frowns, turning to face him slowly. It only now begins to dawn on him that Eddie isn’t only worried about you but also shaken by what almost happened to him.

And it hasn’t even dawned on him fully either. He was worried about you, not thinking about what almost happened.

But now, as he looks down at the blood that rubbed off your hands and onto his own, at the blood from the man you killed to save him, he begins to realize, and it makes him sick, it knocks the wind out of him.

His breathing quickens, and he reaches for his chest.

“Oh god,” he mumbles as his knees almost buckle. He stumbles over to the camping chair and sits down.

Eddie rushes to his side, worriedly. He kneels beside him, grabbing his wrist. He notices how he begins to hyperventilate.

“Man, you need to breathe…” He murmurs softly, his eyebrows furrowed. “Steve…”

“I– what would have happened…” Steve croaks out as his eyes flicker with shock. “Oh god… If it wasn’t for her, right now I would probably–”

“No. Don’t think about it,” Eddie shakes his head, grabbing his hand and holding it strongly. “It didn’t happen, that’s what matters… alright?” Eddie says, looking into his eyes intensely.

Though the thought sickens them both. Neither of them had to deal with such threats in their lives. Never before.

Steve closes his eyes as he takes deep breaths.

It all happened so quickly, so suddenly.

You saved him.

You. Only you.

You killed for him, you went so far just to protect him.

“She… god, she…”

“I know,” Eddie says softly, understanding without needing to hear him say more. “I know, Steve.”

“How is she gonna–”

“She’s gonna be okay… You know her, man.” Eddie mumbles as he squeezes his hand. “She has us, she has you.”

Steve swallows, nodding at his words.

You are strong. Stronger than he once thought.

“I get it now.” Eddie mumbles.

Steve’s heart is still racing in his chest, strongly. His mind is still in a whirlwind, he will need time to process all that happened.

“What do you mean?” He asks softly as he looks into Eddie’s eyes.

“People are the real monsters. She told me that.”

The water is splashing against the tiles, warming up still.

Nancy glances at you worriedly as she takes off your bloody clothes. You are not moving, your face is void of emotions as you stare at the wall before you.

“Step out of your shoes, please.” Nancy says softly after undoing your laces.

You do as you’re told, stepping out of them. You look down at your feet, even your white socks are red.

“I’m gonna take off your pants, okay?” Nancy mumbles, looking at your face, her eyes scanning your every feature.

You only nod, not finding it in yourself to speak up.

Nancy unbuckles your belt, pulling through the loops as she removes it from your jeans completely. She throws it into the sink, leaving it there to wash it later.

“Come on.” She pushes you forward towards the shower. The space is small and definitely not meant for two, but she won’t leave you alone here, not now.

You look down at yourself, the blood seeped through everything, even your bra. The blood clinging on your whole body. You step into the shower, letting the warm water envelope you.

Nancy keeps her arm around you, her other hand on your wrist as she helps you inside. The water hits her too, seeping through her sweater.

“You good?” She whispers, her blue eyes searching for any discomfort. “Is the water too hot, too cold?”

You shake your head, “fine.” You manage to croak out before you close your eyes and step beneath the stream completely. Letting the water wash away the remains of this day. As though it could actually clean you.

You place your hands against the wall as the water runs down your back, pooling at your feet – the blood.

Nancy steps back to take her sweater off, she throws it into the corner before she reaches for the shampoo.

“I’m gonna wash your hair, okay?”

You don’t really say anything, just nodding at her words. You keep your eyes closed and you listen to the sound of the water, feeling the warmth splashing onto you, feeling her fingers running through your hair, washing away the blood.

You lower your head for her, and you make the mistake of opening your eyes and seeing just how much blood is flushing down the drain now.

You knew there was no running from it. You knew this day would come. It almost came before, but back then, you managed to get away before you had to take such a burden on you.

There is no regret in you, no remorse. It had to be done, and you would do it again and again if it meant saving someone you love.

They deserved it. You know they did. You saved not only him, Eddie, and Nancy but many others who would have encountered them if you didn’t stop them.

You know what he wanted to do to Steve. You know what would have happened to Nancy, to you, and to Eddie if it wasn’t for the wolf, if it wasn’t for your sacrifice.

You wouldn’t be here now.

You wouldn’t be here at all by the next morning – none of you.

A whimper falls from your lips as your eyes well up with tears again. The tension slipping off you slowly as the realization rushes through you of the pain you have spared your friends and yourself from.

Nancy stops her movements, glancing at your face in concern.

Your bottom lip begins to tremble, your whole face crumbling as a sob tears from your throat, and you start crying.

Nancy’s own eyes burn with tears as she stares at you. You just stood there like a lifeless doll, and now your face is etched in pain. Her heart breaks at the sight of you, and she doesn’t hesitate to move forward, to step into the shower with you, not caring about her clothes getting wet. She wraps her arms around you, pulling you into her embrace. She holds you tightly as she presses her forehead to your temple.

You say her name brokenly as the tears cascade down your cheeks, mixing with the blood still clinging to you.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she whispers into your ear as she tightens her hold on you, hugging you tighter when she feels your knees buckling. “I got you.”

You wrap your hand around her bicep, gripping it tightly, like you need to be sure that she is there, that you are all okay.

“Steve–”

“He is okay. Eddie is with him, I promise.” She whispers, not trusting her own voice as her chest tightens. “I’m sorry you had to do this. I am so sorry…”

You hold onto her tighter, feeling safe in her embrace, knowing she would have done the same for you if things had gone differently.

“It’s okay,” you whisper weakly.

You stand there for a moment, not moving, not speaking, you just stand there, holding onto each other, being there for one another.

You know you won’t be okay, not today and not tomorrow but you will recover with them by your side. You will. It’s gonna take a while, you know that but it will be alright again.

You know that when you look into her eyes and you see the unspoken promise that she makes.

She will be there, and they will be too.

Eddie keeps the fire smaller than all the nights before. The anxiety of this day takes over as he wonders what mistake was made for these people to attack so easily.

Nancy’s gun is strapped to his thigh for now. He is staring into the small flame, his eyes moving back and forth between that and Steve, who is pacing around again, who won’t stop pacing.

Eddie cleaned the blood from Steve’s hands, brought him fresh clothes to change into so he won’t have to look at the stain of blood on his shirt. He took care of his friend the way he once took care of him.

And now Eddie is sitting down, staring at Steve who is looking just as restless.

You haven’t come out yet, he doesn’t know how long it’s been, but it feels like forever. That sky has turned dark already, and he refuses to spend another night here. He will drive through the night, he doesn’t care, but he needs to get you all out of here.

“Fucking Nebraska.” He murmurs under his breath.

Steve stops pacing the moment the RV door opens, and you step outside first. Steve’s eyes scan your whole body. Your hair is still wet, there is a bruise forming on your cheek, a band aid covering the cut on your cheekbone. You’re wearing a sweater that looks way too big on you.

His eyes lock with yours, and they turn glassy immediately when he sees how red and puffy they are. His heart aches at the sight of you, yearning to feel you close, to wrap his arms around you and never let go.

He whispers your name, and you instantly move forward as he does the same. You meet each other halfway, wrapping your arms around one another into a tight hug.

You don’t bother hiding your cries as you nuzzle your face into his chest and wrap your arms around his waist, melting into his embrace and holding him shakily.

He closes his eyes as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. He holds the back of your head as he finally gets to feel you again. His heart calming down yet racing at the same time.

“Are you okay?” He whispers softly.

You nod against him, squeezing him as you bury yourself further into him, not wanting to let go, not wanting to pull away just yet.

“Are you?” You mumble.

Steve sniffles softly, nodding as he runs his fingers through your wet hair. He breathes in the scent of your body wash, of his toothpaste you have used, of the cherry shampoo that you only have a little left of. He holds on tighter, never wanting to let go, never wanting to miss the touch of you.

There was a reason why he felt so safe with you.

“I am now.”

Eddie glances at Nancy. She still stands in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest, as she watches you both with a weak smile on her face. She turns to face the metalhead when she feels his eyes on her.

‘You okay?’ He mouths, eying her figure.

Nancy nods with furrowed brows, giving him a tight lipped smile. ‘You?’

He lifts his hand up, giving her a thumbs up as he tries to smile at her, wanting to lighten her up a little, but even he can’t act okay. Not today.

Eddie gets up from the chair, and he clears his throat.

You and Steve pull away from each other, though keeping your hands locked.

“I won’t stay here another night. You guys can uh, get some rest in the back.” Eddie gestures to the back of the RV, where the ‘bedroom’ is. “Nance, you can get some sleep too, but I’m driving. I won’t take any more chances, we’re gonna get the hell out of here.”

No one protests against him.

Nancy nods in agreement, wanting nothing more than to get away from here too.

“Yeah.” Steve mumbles, looking down at you.

Your gaze meets his. You don’t speak, you don’t have to, your eyes say enough.

Nancy disappears back into the RV. Eddie follows her after killing the flame still burning in the little pit. He nods at you both before he walks away.

Steve tugs at your hand, “come on, Sunshine.”

You squeeze his hand as you move towards the stairs, you halt in your tracks and look over your shoulder one more time. Taking a look at the field you have last seen the wolves.

The pup now reunited with his mother, like you wanted it to.

A lingering sadness spreads inside of you. You take a deep breath, sighing softly before you turn back around and walk inside.

Without any words shared, Steve leads you to the tiny ‘bedroom’. He takes his jacket and his shoes off and you follow suit before you settle on the bed, scooting closer to the window and making space for him.

There is a small lamp on the shelf above the bed, it’s burning an orange golden. The color of the light kisses your skin. His chest aches at the sight of the evidence the fight left on you. The anger still living in him, despite the attackers being dead.

Your wet hair falls in front of your eyes, and he doesn’t hesitate to move forward, he sits down close to you, and he lifts his hand to cup your cheek.

“Hey…” He whispers, lifting your face to make you look at him. The look in your eyes is soft, vulnerable. Its so different from what he saw in you before. It makes his heart ache more. He saw how much you struggled with yourself after what you did, how much you still struggle.

You weren’t ready.

“Sunshine,” he whispers as his eyes roam your face, as he notices the tears welling up in your eyes.

He won’t ever let anything like this happen.

He won’t let anything happen to you.

“I would have done the same for you,” he whispers as he leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. “I hope it doesn’t come to it, but I would do it if–“ His words get caught in his throat.

He heard the threats that were directed towards you as well and it pains him and angers him at the same time.

Your sniffle breaks his heart as another tear rolls down your cheek.

“I would do so much worse…” He whispers.

You bring your hands up to his shoulders, your body trembling in his embrace as you look into his eyes.

“You would?” You whisper shakily.

“I would.” He nods, promising it to you with a determined look in his eyes. “I would do anything for you.”

You don’t know if it’s his promise or if it is him caring about you that makes you so emotional, if it’s this day catching up to you or the fact that he is here and well but before you know it, you break into cries and you throw your arms around him, pulling him tightly against you.

Your heart is in your throat as you cry, beginning to feel him shaking under your embrace. His mouth is pressed against the crook of your neck and shoulder, his tears staining the shirt you are wearing, but you couldn’t care less. Not when your mind drifted back to him being chosen for that. Not when your mind reeled back to how the man grabbed him by his collar, dragging him inside this RV, eager to do stuff to him you couldn’t even imagine.

You’re not sure who moved first, if you or him, but somehow you two got under the covers, still holding each other close, crying into one another, not being able to stop, not being able to stop the images and the repetition from replaying in your heads, over and over and over again.

Your voice was small as you tried to talk, completely broken as you felt you felt your throat dry as sandpaper.

“You almost– You almost got–”

“I don’t want to think about that, and I don’t want you to think about that either… Please, Sunshine. We’re safe… We’re safe because of you…” He couldn’t stop shaking. After all the horrors he endured, the horrors he witnessed, the horrors he fought against… maybe that could have been the worst one yet. The one who could have shattered him completely. The one who could have probably made him lose himself, if not for a while, forever.

But if it hadn’t been for you, who knows what else they had planned for your group. What they had planned for you, for Nancy, for Eddie. You choked on a sob, feeling your eyes as if they were about to explode from how puffy they felt, how raw.

“I– I killed humans. People. I killed people.” You were in shock, and he took a deep breath before pulling his head back to make you look at him. This is the first time you two saw each other this broken. This anguished. He shook his head at you, his arms never leaving your body.

“You killed monsters… True monsters. A demogorgon would not do what they planned to do… They go for the instant kill, with no other ulterior motive, with no torture… And that makes them more humane than whatever these three beings were.”

And he was right.

Your head leaned close to his chest, your tears finally slowing down after his words processed inside your head. His heart resonated in your ears, and you could still hear it because of what you did.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Yes. You would do it again if it meant you could keep hearing this. Just like this. Close. Warm. Calm.

“Stay with me, Steve…” His embrace tightened around you, his eyes finally closing as he felt your breaths slowing down under his palms. Up and down. Up and down. Gentle, little by little.

His lips instinctively pressed at the top of your head, but you were already sound asleep before you could notice them, before you could feel the tender touch he just gave to you. His eyes closed as he felt safe, the RV starting to rock him to sleep as Eddie drove, heading to whatever destination he desired, just far away from here.

“Always, Sunshine…”

☀︎

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