rosella007rh

[finexbright]

i know some people say that he relies on fans too much but i don't think you'll say that if you see the genuine emotion on his face while talking about fans and the support he's received over the years and how much we've done for him. the sheer overwhelm and gratitude on his face as he spoke about how if it weren't for the fans and how much we boost him up, he wouldn't have moved from the sound of walls to the sound of faith in the future, which to be fair are miles apart and takes some artists years to move between genres. he's well aware of how the industry has betrayed him but he's truly reached a point where he does what he does for the people who love him and no one else and i'm so proud of him for that. i know in this industry radio play and awards and public promo matters, but to see him talk about us has made me realise that to him success means that his music was loved by his fans and everything else is just a bonus. he was sat there, a full few weeks after his album going number one, and he still couldn't believe it. he looked like he didn't know how else to say thank you, and like words were falling short for the amount of gratitude he wanted to express. being in the crowd last night made me realise just how much he values the artist-fan relationship he's built with us and he wants to keep working towards keeping this connection strong and tight knit and creating this community together 🫂🤍

[lovesanmotion]

bf!ateez finding somebody else

💌. This is: requested | Listen to this song while reading 

Hongjoong: 

Was it his fault for getting carried away? It all started when they were preparing for their upcoming album and would be working with a few new producers. Knowing how he’s very much devoted to what he loves, it would all seemingly look like how he’s passionate about producing music, composing lyrics and giving to the fans. But it was more than that, he found a new sense of comfort in a person that wasn’t you. Until slowly he forgot about coming home to you and would rather spend hours in his music studio with their new producer. 

This kept going about a month until it was through Seonghwa how you found out about it. No, it wasn’t painful how Hongjoong found somebody else. It’s painful because you knew about it through someone else. It all dawned to him when you no longer contacted him, blocking him from every social media and his phone number. That was the only time Hongjoong realized what he was doing and started regretting it. He didn’t know how he could make it up to you or when would he be able to get you back, but he’s hoping that you would give him another chance. 

Seonghwa: 

He’s enjoying what he’s doing as an idol. He’s so immersed that you were worried how he never comes home or how he would return only to re pack his bag and leave, and you have absolutely no idea on what was going on. What you didn’t know was that Seonghwa had fallen for someone else. He was so into her and he could never tell you about her until you saw caught them redhandedly at a cafe that you and Seonghwa used to love. Upon catching them, everything that you once loved with Seonghwa has been thrown out the window and all you could feel is hate, anger and betrayal. 

Seonghwa stepped out of the cafe to follow you, hoping to explain about the situation of what was happening in that cafe and to them. However, he lost sight of you. That night, all Seonghwa could ever think about is you and how this night would rather be with you, cuddling together under the blanket. But it was his mistake that is cuddling him. That night, Seonghwa cried himself to sleep. 

Yunho: 

He thought that there is no one that could compare to you until he met her. Upon meeting her, he noticed how she reminds him of you, only more prettier, organized in life and somewhat higher in status. He was immediately attracted to her and stopped contacting you. And you wonder why Yunho has gone cold towards you, you didn’t have a single ounce of an idea as to why until your answer has been answered when an old classmate of yours posted a picture on her social media as vacation photograph with Yunho. 

‘They looked so happy’ you thought to yourself. You smiled, you were okay with letting Yunho go just like that, even if there is no closure to the relationship, you were okay with it. All those days how you would chase him just to make sure he’s okay has stopped as you focused on yourself, learning how to love and accept yourself. Yet again, it was Yunho’s turn to experience his own hell. Would it be selfish of him if he said that he wanted to be back into your life and help you in your healing? He hoped that it isn’t the end for the two of you. He still wanted you in his life and just like what is written above, nothing could compare to you. 

Yeosang: 

What started out only as a team member in an online mobile game turned into something more. You were supportive of Yeosang’s coping mechanism and hobby of playing games on his phone with the boys. But what you didn’t know is how he would use it to an extent of exchanging conversations with someone else and being impressed with their stats and skills in the game.

And you just let him go on for hours with his phone, not suspecting anything suspiscious until you came home one day and hear him talking through his microphone about how he’s so impressed with her and decided to gift her with character skins, asking her how her day went and how they should meet up and play together. You didn’t know if it was possible for a world to break, but you experienced how your own world break. With tears streaming down your face, you left what was once a home with Yeosang to you. If home was meant to comfort you, surely you would never go back to the shared apartment. 

San: 

You were always jealous of the girls who likes him. Even though he’s assured you loads of times that you are the only one he loves, it still feels empty. And San started to get sick of hearing your insecurities and how, to him, you only cry about it and never do anything to help yourself. He wanted someone more confident about themselves, and that is when he met another girl and fell for her. He admired her confidence in herself so much that he would ridicule you and your tears. When he got fed up with you, he left. 

The day San left you is the day you knew he found someone else. You were always ashamed when he would say things to you like “why do you cry so ugly?” “I feel ashamed and embarrassed just looking at you” “I don’t even wanna go out with someone like you” and the most painful one “I regret falling for you”. The words kept running through your head, blaming yourself how you let your insecurities eat you and the relationship apart. But with the help of your friends, you were able to stand back up on your feet slowly until you are able to walk with your chin up high. And when you were able to, life suddenly decides to test you by crossing paths with San again. Back then, you used to look at him with so much love in your heart and eyes. But now, all you could see is someone who hurted you and stepped on your dignity. When he asked for a second chance, you replied with a no. And with that answer, you were able to meet someone who loves you and is accepting of your flaws while San, up to this day, still regrets losing you. 

Mingi: 

You were surprised how the boy who used to love you so much happens to also be the same boy who would turn his back on your for someone new. You didn’t know how but one day, you and Mingi were talking about how your wedding would turn out and the next minute, he’s already hand in hand with someone else. Oh how the night changes. 

Your heart says yes, but your mind says no. You didn’t know who to follow until what came out of your mouth was a no. You weren’t going to lie, you still love Mingi with all your heart, but would he cheat on you once more? You didn’t know but one thing you do know is that once a cheater, always a cheater. 

Wooyoung: 

You often wondered what ever did you do in your previous life to have someone like Jung Wooyoung? But whatever you did, you feel a thousand times and one thankful to having him. Your days with him are as bright as the sun, cool as the wind, gass greener and the days lovelier. What’s the worst that could happen? 

But no matter how perfect something else, there will always be a hidden stain to it. And that was when you visited him in his home and found his lips occupied with someone who now you used to call as your best friend. The hurt feeling was so strong that you couldn’t say anything but just turn and walk away. You were going back to your home until you felt a hand stop you - Wooyoung’s. Of course you wanted things to be okay with him, but as of the moment, you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts. 

Jongho: 

You were assured that Jongho is too mature for his age and that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. You were young and in love with him and that you gave him everything. But was it giving him everything made him get bored of you? You were quick to notice how he’s never like his usual old self around you, now you’re with someone who’s mind is always flying somewhere else, getting defensive when touching his phone and would randomly shout at you for prying onto his privacy. 

You admit that maybe you were a little bit uptight to him and blamed yourself for it. But was your intuition never wrong? There was always much more to him until you caught him in the arms of someone you didn’t know. Of course it hurted you seeing them. Instead of pitying yourself, you reminded yourself how your trash is someone else’s treasure. Letting Jongho go, you felt like a ton has been lifted off your back. You’ve never felt so free to do anything. You were happy, free and single. Meanwhile, Jongho is somewhere out there, wanting to get you back. If that was possible. 

[wernerherzogs]

you don't have to answer, i dont want to make your askbox intolerabel. but i just realised how much i dislike h**** now when i tried listening to his new album. i cant even like his music... like all the things his said and done these past? 2?3? years im just so tired of him. i kinda miss the whole old 1d days, it all felt abit more like a family (the fans) even tho you hated 90% of them. im sorry just felt like airing it haha i have the feeling you feel a bit the same, but you really dont have to answer. the nostalgiiaaa

anon i'm sorry you feel that way! if you're a long time follower you might be aware that i was struggling with my Stance Towards Harry for quite a long time, but i've found my way to being able to enjoy him again. the secret was: 1. moderation (i don't have to keep up w/ everything he's up to! i can just tune in once in a while!), 2. accept what i can't change (he doesn't deserve to have an acting career, he gets gassed up for things other people have done before him just because he's white and english speaking, his privilege protects him from consequences of refusing to take an elaborate stance on any serious political/sociological/etc. matter he's being asked about, he's actually quite a boring dude beneath all the anecdotes about a listers he hangs out with and books he gets papped with), 3. enjoy what's left (he IS a kind and decent person at heart, as far as celebrities go, i still love his voice and his stagesona and most of his songs, he's a huge reason why i'd found many excellent friends on this hellsite, stanning 1d WAS overall a fun experience that simply came with cons). if you can't reach that stage of being a fan, it definitely is better to just unstan, and move on with your life. it doesn't have to be a bad thing!!! just make sure you're not blaming him for disappointment of having been a larrie and believing in things you used to believe (which i had partly stuggled with, but then successfully dealt with, i think). like that part is not fair to him, and he hasn't actually done nothing wrong, and it's ridiculous to villainize him for saying/doing things that don't align with your past beliefs.

[hoplessdreamer9796]

BTS 8th Member - Your Friends

Best Friends: Kim Hanbin (B.I from Ikon. (Pretend he’s still in Ikon and YG didn’t snake one of their best artists.) Your mothers are best friends and so when you moved to Korea, he was the only person you knew so you clung to each other. He was also one of your best friends through high school. He is your best friend and you both have always been there for each other. The both of you tried alcohol for the first time together, which you stole from his father’s liquor cabinet. Were there for each other’s first relationships and first heartbreaks. You were there for his parents’ divorce at 12 (I made this up idk if it’s true). You ditched classes and went to go sit on the roof of your apartment building to talk about your futures together. His aspirations for music and yours to live peacefully. In your friendship group he is the grandfather that clings to his youth. He hates any physical activities other than mountain hiking but loves going on nights out. You both even got matching tattoos as soon as it was legal, and it will be explained later. “You can’t push me away Y/N! So, get angry, scream and shout but I’m not going anywhere! I’m your best friend that shit doesn’t work on me!”) Park Shinhye (Despite your age difference you two are best friends, you consider each other sisters. Grew close because you both work in the entertainment industry but both don’t have girls around you, you by being in BTS and her by being an actress so when you both met at an award show soon after BTS debuted you clicked. You both were there for each other threw everything. She’s one of your best friends and you often have movie nights when you’re both free. She cried for you when BTS won a daesang for the first time, that moment went viral. BTS walked off the stage, and were still visible by fans but near backstage, and you two ran at each other like dramatic losers as she was crying more than you were and you were both shouting at each other to stop crying while continuing to hug. Fans love that moment and your friendship. She often states that you are her best friend both in this industry and in life. “I never really thought it was possible to connect to someone like that. But I honestly think that in another life we were sisters.”) Min Sooah (Best friend from high school is your secretary, for now, and is one of your pillars. You would not be able to function without her. There’s an ongoing joke that she is basically your mother, you worry her to no end. She is very grateful to you. After her father broke his hip and was not able to continue working, she had to drop out of university to go to work. You gave her the job as your secretary despite her not being qualified. You needed someone you trusted, and you knew she would work hard. Now she is one of the most important people in your company. She is the Dad of the group always complaining about how “I gave up my youth to look after you brats and none of you have time to spend with me? Okay I see how it is. Daehyun this is your influence on them!”) Ok Hwayoung (Best friend from high school now she is your personal shopper. After university she became a personal shopper, and you thanked the sky’s because she chooses all of your clothes to pack when traveling or when you have formal business meetings. You like buying clothes but you hate the process of shopping and trying things on, so you tell her what pieces you want, and she’ll get it. She also organises your wardrobe ‘cause she’s OCD like that. She also is a hopeless romantic and is constantly trying to talk you and Hangyeol into giving up your partying lifestyle because, “How are we supposed to have a group wedding if you don’t let yourselves find the ones you idiots?!”) Lee Hangyeol (Best friend from high school he owns a mechanics and auto repair shop and he is the only one you trust with you cars. He is also the only one of your best friends who encourages you attitude towards your love life as he is also not into committed relationships. You're both each other’s wingmen. You guys are basically the epitome of lads’ lads when around each other. You’re the loud, annoying people in a bar gassing each other up to chug your drinks down. Whenever one wants to go on a night out the other is always down. “Who needs a relationship? Tequila is just as good. Gives me a fun night and then when the fun wears off it give me a headache and regrets. That’s basically a relationship.”) Tae Daehyun (Best friend from high school he works as a pd on tv shows mainly running man. He was also on the track team back in high school. The two of you often go out on runs together. After seeing what the industry is like behind the camera, he worries a lot for you. Especially since he knows no matter how crappy you feel you’d rather down the nearest bottle of alcohol than talk about it. So, he always tries to let you know if you need to talk, he’s there. Also hates how much you and Hangyeol drink and always tries to make sure you guys eat a proper meal before going out and drinking. He’s also the one in your friend group who can be bothered to cook, he got so offended when he found out you hired a personal chef but then he tasted her food and is okay with it. He’s the Mum of the group. “What the hell is wrong with you all? You can’t throw a knife at the apple on his his head! Are you crazy? See this is what I have to deal with Sooah. But if you weren’t so busy working, you’d know that!”) Ryeo Chungae (Best friend from high school and she works on the public relations for your company. When she first joined your company, she always felt like she got the job because she’s your friend, but you wouldn’t have given her the job if you didn’t think she could do it. She went through a hard time when her boyfriend cheated on her with her old boss. Instead of being scared of falling in love again she wants love. Trying to convince you and Hangyeol that it’s is amazing when secretly she is glad that you won’t be able to get hurt. She is a pushover in all aspects of life except for work. When it comes to work, she is a force to be reckoned with. So instead of staying at her old job with her boss she resigned after making a scene about the boss sleeping with her boyfriend which got said boss fired. When she is with all of your friends, she is also very outspoken and opinionated. However, when it comes to people she isn’t comfortable with her anxiety acts up. You and all your friends are protective of her in situations where her anxiety gets bad. Her ideal life is a Hallmark movie. “One day I’m gunna meet the man of my dreams. He’s gunna be tall and handsome and most importantly he’ll take me away from all of you dumbass motherfuckers.”) Hak Daeho (Best friend from high school he works at Songsun’s shop as and is in charge of customising cars. He is the one that never wants to go out and always wants to stay home. He prefers a night in with his friends than at some stupid club where Y/N and Hangyeol ditch a half hour after arriving, most of the time. He doesn’t have the best relationship with his family after they found out he didn’t want to become a lawyer like his parents and siblings. His parents kicked him out and cut him off. Y/N payed for his college tuition even though he protested, you just said it was a loan and that he can pay you back someday. However, after he had been able to save up to pay you back you told him to shut up and buy a damn apartment which is what he did. Thanking the universes for his friends. He stayed in an apartment with Hwayoung, Daehyun and Chungae during college and no matter how many times he couldn’t pay rent his friends always had his back. It also helped that every time you visited you stocked the fridge and freezer. He thinks of you all as family more than he does of his own family. “You guys are a bunch of fucking idiots. Like you’re my family but damn you guys are stupid.”) Park Soomi (Best friend from high school. She is the most subscribed to female Korean youtuber with 11 million subscribers. She is also and ambassador for Jeonsa cosmetics although at first, she didn’t want to be as she felt like it would be using her friendship with you to her advantage. However, after you convinced her to accept, she did. You also knew that you could trust her since she has always been honest with you and never expects anything from you. You also knew that she would be advantageous for your company so it’s not like you’re just giving her money your promoting your company through her brand. After you explained this she reluctantly agreed. She is the loud, chaotic crackhead of the group. Constantly doing dumb shit. “Hey guys my pineapple was being difficult long story short we no longer have a microwave.”) Im Kyungmin (Best friend from high school, he is a part of Soul & Bones, a hip-hop and house dance crew. When you were younger all of your friends would go to his contests. Everything you learned about dancing you learned from watching that crew. You always loved the way their dancing looked and the atmosphere they created. But you were realistic with your situation knowing you’d never get to dance. When Bang pd wanted you to be a trainee you were hesitant, but he practically dragged you to that audition. And during trainee days he helped you with your dancing. He says your better than him now, but you know you’re not. Soon after you became a billionaire Soul & Bones were set to end. Their investor pulled out and most dance crews are under entertainment companies unlike soul & Bones. Kyungmin was devastated, Soul & Bones was his whole life. So, when you decided to fund it he was conflicted. On one hand he was thankful and on the other hand he was guilty. But after you told him what the crew meant to you, how you were also friends with everyone else in the crew and couldn’t let it end when you could do something about it he was on board. You however made it clear you don’t own Soul & Bones you just pay for things. Now it is considered the best hip-hop dance crew in Korea and one of the best in the world. He is the one in your group who seems high most of the time but isn’t. “I think that pizza is thinking shit about me... I’m gunna eat it not ‘cause I want to but because it needs to die!”) Close Friends: Mark Tuan (You met at a BTS and Got7 collaboration for and you both clicked immediately because you were both from western countries, you were both raised in similar cultures so you had become close friends easily. It is also less lonely when you both miss your home countries if you’re around each other. It was surprising because your personalities are the opposite, but you bring him out of his shell. Whenever you guys meet you always speak in English and it’s a relief for both of you since it is your first language no matter how long you’re in Korea. You both also relate on how different your home countries’ standards are compared to Korea in terms of public image, behaviour and many other things. It’s very easy to be your true selves around each other. ) Choi Youngjae (You guys are the same age so you clicked easily. Even though you’re closer to Mark you’re still close to Youngjae. The guy is literal sunshine it hard not to like him. There is also a group of idols born in 1996 who he is a part of.) BTS and Got7 are both close to each other so you are friendly with all the members. But you are the closest with Mark. Woo Jiho (Zico. You both met when BTS and Block B did a collaboration at mama. Namjoon and him knew each other but they weren’t that close, so it was unexpected when you and he hit it off. You are both close friends and hang out when you can. He often asks for your opinion with his music and the two of you once spent an entire night just messing around in the studio. He says that you are one of the only people to get him to take a break, when he’s in work mode, and to have some fun. Clubbing isn’t really his scene so you and Jaemin often have to beg him to go out drinking with you guys. He used to have feelings for you but after some time in the friendzone he realised he is okay with you not having feelings for him as long as you are in his life. No one knows about the feelings he had for you.) Lee Jaemin (A YouTuber who has 7 million subscribers. The two of you met through Jiho and got along very well because you both like alcohol and clubbing. However, he maintains a clean public image, so your company is fine with you being seen in public together. Your members aren’t very fond of him since the time he showed up at the dorm drunk looking for you and threw up in a plant. They think he is a bad influence, but you know what he was going through and know he’s a good person. He feels like he can be himself around you without feeling judged. Yoongi really hates him and the friendship you two have.) Kang Yujin (She is an Instagram model who has 18 million followers and 2 million subscribers on YouTube. She met you and Jiho through Jaemin. However, once the public found out about your friendship many thought she was using you in order to work with Jeonsa cosmetics. But you knew this wasn’t true. Yujin was the kind of person to drive to McDonald's for you at three in the morning when you had a nightmare about your father and wouldn’t tell her what it was about. The kind of person to kill spiders for you even though she’s scared of bugs too. And due to the public’s reaction, she was scared you would end up thinking the same of her. You told her how you knew what kind of person she was and in order to make a statement to the public you both posted a photo together on her Instagram announcing her endorsing your company. She is a very close friend and an older sister figure to you.) You, Zico, Jaemin and Yujin often go bowling together or go out to eat and are also drinking buddies you are very close to them. The four of you are often spotted in public together. Kang Seungyoon (You both met through Hanbin and both of your personalities go very well together. Musically you both also mesh very well together. You both also often play pool together and he gets triggered at how he’s played longer but you kick his ass at it. Whenever you both have the time you go out for food and drinks and spend all nigh playing pool and all night, he complains that you’re a cheater and he won’t stand for it. He’s a very good friend.) Kim Jisoo (You met her first, soon after they debuted, in the bathroom. The two of you clicked and then you met the rest of the group through her. It was easy to become friends with them due to BTS and Blackpink both being at the top of K-pop, so you were a lot more understanding of each other’s situations. She is a very close friend of yours and is an older sister figure to you. She always gets excited when you send her the new launches of Jeonsa cosmetics and does vlives talking about it.) Kim Jennie (Despite Jennie being introverted you charmed her during your first conversation. She found it very easy to talk to you despite being slightly nervous and you were her sunbae. She was surprised how easy it was to talk to you. You are a people person, and she is not so like most other extroverts she’s met she thought you would clash but surprisingly your personalities match very well. You bring out the fun in her.) Lalisa Manobal (Lisa. She looks up to you a lot in terms of your dancing. She is very clingy towards you when you meet, and you love her crackhead energy. You learnt to speak Thai early after BTS’ debut, this made Lisa feel like she could connect to you on a deeper level. You have also helped her with the racist side of K-pop, her being Thai and you being half Arabic you’re both no stranger to how harsh netizens are. As you have been going through it for longer than her you are able to comfort her (kind of because you’re emotionally stupid but you try and push that aside for your friend).) Park Chaeyoung (Rose. She was also born in a western country so when she met you it helped her feel less homesick. You both often talk about childhood TV shows together and relate to each other when people talk about Korean things from their childhood that you have no idea about. Even though you’re from different places it’s nice having someone who understands the difficulties of moving from western culture to eastern.) Kwon Jiyong (Gdragon. You guys met backstage at an award show when BTS and Bigbang met. The groups are casual with each other, but you and he became very close especially because you’re friends with many YG artists. You also both like to party a lot and often go out together. He views you as a very close friend and is often nagging at you to eat and rest properly You try and hang out whenever you both have time.) Matthew Kim (BM. You two met during an inkigayo. He got lost and was swearing in English. So, you approached him and asked in English if he was okay. You helped him find his way back to his dressing room. He knew who you were and that you were British as BTS was well known then. However, he was expecting you to be arrogant and was pleasantly surprised with how nice you were. You and he got along well as you have similar personalities. Both extroverted. The two of you also quickly found out about your shared love of partying and clubbing and now you often go out together.) Peniel Shin, Ashley Choi, Amber Liu, Stephanie Young Hwang (These are some of your other western born K-pop friends.) Red velvet (You are good friends with the group mainly Joy as you are the same age. You, them and Blackpink try to go out together when you can. Irene is also very protective over you and sees you like a little sister.) Park Chanyeol (You have very similar attitudes you were good acquaintances but then you both worked together on the Goblin ost (Pretend it was you instead of Punch p.s I love that song so fucking much.) He always tries convincing you to let him drive your cars and you always say no. He’s a very fun person and you guys have a good laugh together.) You’re friendly with the rest of the Exo members but the closest to Chanyeol. Your best friends are: Hanbin, Shinhye, and all of your friends from high school. However, you are still close with the rest of your friends.

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Woopsie poopsie

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 12 | Part 13 Woopsie poopsie | Part 14 >

Disclaimer: some strong language, fluffff

Author’s note: I can totally imagine two adults sitting on a bed in what is best described as a teen’s bedroom. If anything screams rom-com, then that is probably it. 

Word count: 1.315

(Link to my Masterlist)

--

Dear readers,

Some of you asked whether I dislike rom-com movies altogether, since I kind of burned on Pride & Prejudice in one of my previous blogs. It made me think about whether I actually do. And maybe, just maybe, I do. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with romance. I love the idea of it, but in the case of for instance rom-com movies, there is also this great mistruth established that millions of young women set their relational expectations to.

Will you really ever get a man so crazy that he’ll hold a boombox over his head beneath your bedroom window? Or run through airport security just to profess his love for you while you are boarding an airplane? And is that one initial spark enough to overcome all seriously challenging obstacles of any regular relationship? Like a cheating partner? Unfortunately, in the reality of normal life, it often doesn’t work that way. Relationships need more than a meet-cute and an artificially constructed happy ending.

Cheating is cheating and a boombox is just a boombox.

And to be fair; I don’t want either, I just need to be able to rely on you, no frills and unnecessary drama added.

Drama-free,

Ali

‘Feeling better?’ Henry inquired, plopping down on my soft mattress, the whole bed creaking and shifting beneath his weight - yes, we barely ever opted for sleepovers at my place. I sighed and shrugged. ‘Just trying to forget about him. He’s gonna get his karma served to him, I’m sure.’

‘Mhm.’ Henry yawned, letting himself fall back onto the bed, arms stretched above his head. He had just come back from another roundtrip to London and with his travel wear still on, consisting of some sweatpants and simple dark grey shirt, he was obviously a bit gassed.

And yet, here he was, on my bed. Like he really, really wanted to be with me. Or..was this just another act of holding up boomboxes beneath bedroom windows? I leaned into my desk and sipped on my cup of lukewarm tea, watching him breathe in, breathe out, calm and steady like a rock in the bubbling shoreline. Ever steady, ever reliable.

He yawned again, then quickly shook his head, as if wishing to shake off the tiredness, his body flopping over on his belly as he reached for my laptop that still lay forlorn on the foot-end of the bed. I didn’t think much of it; we used each others laptops all the time to put on some music or look something up. It was just a handy device.

Phones, were a different matter though. Those were private.

Henry became quiet - too quiet - as he stared at the screen, his finger tentatively scrolling through a internet tab that was still opened. I looked over the edge of my cup and felt my heart sink.

SHIT.  I hand’t closed..that..tab.

The silence was near palpable and with great reluctance I put down my cup on the desk, hesitant arms and legs crawling onto the bed beside him, my breath uncomfortably tight in my chest.

‘I ..eh…’ I started, but I wasn’t sure what to say. And so I just watched him scroll through the topic I had been researching. Anonymous sperm donors. And though I didn’t wish to hold any secrets from Henry, it still felt really painful to talk about; what if we don’t last and I still want to have a baby? We had been dating for a month now. Not by a long shot long enough to seriously chat about family planning..together.

He slowly scrolled to the end of the page, before finally looking up at me, his face slightly puzzled, but not fully condoning either. He seemed almost more.. curious.

‘I know we haven’t really spoken about this. I mean, we’re only just dating and it’s kind of a big thing; what if this dream we are living in, doesn’t work? Then what? Is that the end of MY real dream?’ I shrugged, not daring to look into his eyes, my deep browns instead peering at the footnotes of the webpage; a long list of scientific research that I wished to work my way through at some point.

Henry remains quiet for a moment and then we both heard a suspicious crack on the landing; someone was there.

‘MOMMM please!!’

And as expected the cracking sound shifted, swift feet walking away from my room. Henry chuckled quietly and folded a hand over mine. ‘Okay.’ He nodded, then took a grounding breath. ‘So..did you ..eh..set yourself..a…’ He was clearly unsure of how to put his words, his eyebrows frowning in a pensive knot. Our eyes finally met, his aquamarine blues turbulent, but gentle. ‘..eh..deadline?’ He finalised, not managing to find a better word for it.

I sniffled. He was so sweet.

‘I think that one year from now I definitely want to start.. I eh..’ I frowned in turn. ‘I really am sorry about you finding this, like this. I mean; I should have discussed this with you..I..this is selfish.’ I shook my head in embarrassment. Henry nodded wordlessly, then looked back at the tab, studying it, his finger moving to scroll up again, re-reading some of the text.

After he read a bit of text about a waiting list I could feel his eyes shift back towards me. I bit my lip. ‘Yea..so..they have a waiting list. About a one year waiting list.’

Henry swallowed - that would mean I had to start planning this..now - and moved his blue eyes back to the screen, continuing to read. ‘And that’s for ..anonymous donors.’ He muttered, eyes flicking over the sea of words. ‘Yea..’ I saw him scroll on again, eyes halting as he got to a bit that said “using a personal donor”. He blinked a few times and even from the side I could see something in his facial expression change.

The proverbial lightbulb was lightened in his head and I swallowed as he turned back towards me, closing the laptop with a swift flick of his hand.

‘So..how’d you see this go?’

—

How did I see this go? It was a very reasonable question on his part. But I didn’t have an answer at the ready. And so we talked. And talked. And talked. And cried, and hugged, and smiled. And talked some more.

Above all, it became clear that I wasn’t alone in this journey. Henry didn’t run for the hills, but instead was there to listen. For the first time in all these months I came clean about all that had played around in my head. The fear, the jealousy, the anger at Chris for not only cheating..but also impregnating this girl. HOW COULD HE?! But then also, that I was a little scared of this whole trajectory, which wasn’t going to be easy. Especially now that we were dating.

Did I even have time for love now that I actually wished to invest my time and energy in that other great life’s wish; a kid? A wish that really couldn’t wait that much longer?

Henry had gathered me in his arms, both our eyes staring at the closed laptop at the foot end. Empty stares, the turmoil behind both our eyes imperceivable by the other, we just sat there for the longest, quietest moment, both working through our thoughts.

‘Okay.’ Henry finally nodded, as if it was decided. I frowned and looked up.

‘Okay?’

He snickered and looked down on my face, our noses a mere inch away from each other. ‘Okay.’ He smiled.

‘Okay.’ I sniffled, feeling his arm pull me even closer, his forehead moving to lean into mine. We both just breathed in and out deeply, basking in the comfort of being at peace with each other.

Okay then. Whatever was decided upon just now, it probably was good.

--

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[heyimtavia]

THE POST FINALE HENRY DANGER OPINIONS TAG:

Hey party people! Sorry I’ve been a bit out of the loop. Due to what’s going on in the world, adulting sorta got in the way and I have to DVR the final episode. No one tagged me, but I just wanted to add my two cents since this is officially the end and this is a really cute tag.

1. Who was your overall favorite member of Team Danger and why?

Charlotte hands down. She was brilliant, sassy and just a great friend to Henry no matter what. She’s one of the main reasons why I decided to tune into the show. I saw a lot of myself in her. I was once that little smart black girl that no one listened too. But it’s okay though, but that GLOW UP is real! I know from experience lol.

2. Who was your favorite non-team danger character and why?

Y'all know I love Fran the security guard. She should’ve gotten more air time. I just think she’s hilarious! I’d loved to see her try to wrestle a dolphin any day!

3. Who was your favorite villain and why?

Dr. Minyak & Nurse Cohort. I just gotta respect his hustle. Other than Rex and Rick Twitler, I feel like he’s the only everyday villain who always came close to defeating Captain Man & Kid Danger. He always had unique plans; from capturing and brain-altering Charlotte to taking Piper and the man fan hostage, he was always creative. Plus I love his little temper tantrums he sometimes throws. 

4. What were your top five favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) All time Fav would go to The Great Cactus Con. From the dopeyness of how everyone can do a backflip instead of Ray. How Charlotte gets to show off her fashion design skills. How Piper unofficially works with Team Danger. Plus I love the cute romantic bit between Jasper and Patina. 2) Rumblr- That whole episode was just comedy gold for me. They should’ve brought Kyle back for the finale and had him show up at kid danger’s funeral  3) I dream of Danger - Its Char’s episode. I like how it alluded to Charlotte’s dream might come true but it doesn’t. However, I don’t like how they just moved on like the episode never happened even when Jasper thinks that char likes him. 4) Flabber Gassed- I love that char got to show off her fighting skills and how happy Jasper was to be a superhero. 5) Holey Moley- I straight up die for laughter every time I see that episode. I love how Henry kept saying, “oh look, a downside.” I feel like that episode would have been a sketch on All That or the Amanda Show. It just felt like good ole Nickelodeon comedy.

5. What were your top five least favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?

1) Henry’s Birthday- Call me a diva, but if anyone treated me like that on my birthday, the party is OVER! 2) Captain Makini (I think that's what it’s called). Sorry, I'm not really a fan of Frankie Grande and though he was great for the musical, I really don’t think he needed a second episode. 3) Meet Cute Crush- I’m sorry, anything involving Piper is just physical and emotionally draining. All that girl does is yell. Thank u, next. 4) Sick & Wired- Because I got sick and tired of Ray’s shenanigans. 5) JAM Session- Now Piper isn’t my favorite character, but how that girl was manipulated all over a bet was just stupid and disrespectful.

6. What was your favorite running gag and why?

1) Fran’s line, “There’s only one in the whole world, and we got it!” Swellview must be a fun, mysterious place that always gets amazing things lol. 2) When everyone says “Click” before hanging up their phone. I find it funny because I’m pretty sure the kids had never owned a flip phone in their lives.

7. What was your favorite one-off throw away gag and why?

When shwoz referenced his song from the musical when he said, “Science, science, science, I’ve said this already.” I think he said this in Theranos boot. And also the grammar fights and how grammar rules don’t apply to Charlotte lol.

8. What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most?

I think Holey Moley & Rumblr both made me laugh the most. Those were great episodes. Jasper would have to be the funniest. That boy says the darndest things lol. Hensper. Because of how Henry loved Jasper’s mustache and wanted to get one too. And when Jasper and Henry were both “Dude. Bro. Dude. Bro. DUDE!” Over the Patina situation and Charlotte had to break them up.

9. What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional?

I think it was Second episode of the finale episodes, when Henry was freaking out at the end because he was alone and Rex had sent Ray A Million and one years into the past. The fact that he literally had to think like all of his friends because obviously that’s what he was used to, everyone being there to help figure out a plan and keep swellview safe. And the fact that for that moment he was kid danger and all alone was really scary for him.

10. How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst?

I would rank season 5 as 1. It overall had great episodes and delved into different genres and fun tv and movie tropes. It made it a joy to watch, though some episodes leading towards the end didn’t quite catch me. Season 4 would be like a high 4 but not exactly a 5. Season 3 was sorta Meh to me. So maybe a #.  Season 2 would be a 4 and season 1 would be like a 4 because it was a the beginning to a great show and was still working out the kinks a bit.

11. Who was your favorite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)?

Chenry 100%. The friendship that those two have is great! Now I must say, I hate that Nick was still posting about them on their youtube page for clout knowing that it wasn’t gonna happen. I felt like they did that just so people would watch the final episodes. I was gonna watch regardless, but really Nick? Really?

12. What was your favorite Henry and Ray moment/episode?

The bro song! Plus I love that it kept getting referenced after the musical as well.

13. What was your favorite Chenry moment/episode?

 When Char was controlling  Henry in flabber gassed, she made him jump up and down while clapping! I love that even shwoz joined in too lol. And when Henry was concerned about her after she ate bad meat from the auto snacker.

14. What was your favorite Hensper moment/episode?

The mustache scene from Grand Theft Otto, “dude if I had one, I’d be Man Danger!”

15. What was your favorite Chensper moment/episode?

This also kinda includes Ray but when they were all stealing Joss Ross’s gift from her birthday party and they were just casually leaving. And how Jasper kept saying, “It’s not stealing if it’s from a criminal.” Plus I like the episode when Hen and Char have to pretend to date just to see if Jasper would keep their secret. The boy poured a whole bowl of pees down his shirt lmaoooo!!

16. If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be?

 Have Ray grow up and stop fawning over Henry’s mom. It was just plain creepy! Oh and put some respect on my girl Charlotte’s name.

17. If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?

Life isn’t always about one day getting a statue, (I’m looking at YOU Captain Man). Crime-fighting is fun and being a sidekick could literally every kid’s dream. But don’t forget to be a kid. Hangout with your friends, go to school, go on dates. Do the whole growing up thing. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you.

18. If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be?

Thank you for sharing your lives with me and I am so so sooo proud of you all! 

19. Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favorite and what part was your least favorite?

 Honestly, I think it was okay for what it was. My fav part was when Jasper literally had to carry Char out of the mancave because she refused to leave Henry behind. I love that they decided to stick together. They did leave a lot of storylines open. I thought Joss Moss would be revealed as the real Mob boss. I thought Rick Twitler would regain his memory. Where the heck is Gooch? Caitlin? Chenry (for obvious reasons). I'm just spitballing here. Was it good? Yes. could it have been better? Hell yes.

20. What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?

 Charlotte and Henry have powers and Jasper can fight! Dystopia. That was the spin-off that I wanted! I don’t really care about the new kids as much. They’re college-aged too? Just imagine the shenanigans they would get into! But we need to kick the Charlotte hating writer off the staff though. Can The CW pick this show up?

21. Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy?

 I honestly haven’t thought about it. But I believe no matter what they do or where they may end up, they will be happy. They’ll probably always be a team.

22. What was your favorite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in?

It became an escape from my normal adult life. (I’m saying like I’m old. I’m only 23.) I randomly flipped it on one day, I can't remember what episode it was, but from then on, I was hooked. I used to watch it a while back, but I fell off, but at that moment on time, it was easy for me to fall right back into it.

23. What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in?

The friends I’ve made, the people have met! They are the best out of all the fandoms I’m a part of. I’ve been on tumblr for years and never had I have a group of people be so nice, supportive and just incorporate me into things. I love you guys so much!

24. Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show.

It’s a bittersweet feeling. I hate to see it go. But all good things must come to an end. But I guess there’s nothing better to say than, “Feels Good.”

25. If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add?

 I don’t know honestly. Maybe we could have seen him reunite with his friends and family. Especially Charlotte and Jasper, Afterall, they probably thought that their best friend was dead for all they knew.

26. Favorite outfit/hair style?

 Charlotte’s Date outfit with Jack Swagger. Sis was rockin that romper. Also when Jasper and Charlotte were helper bunnies! Those outfits were hilarious and cute.

27.Least favorite character?

I'm sorry but Piper. She was worse than the whole annoying little sister trope. I swear all ash did was yell through most of the seasons and then they gave this chick a driver’s license, I mean what?? Plus i think her reaction to finding out Henry was kid danger was better in Broken Armed and Dangerous, than in twisted sister. 

28. What is question you would like to ask the writers/ producers?

Im tagging @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel

[imagine-organization-xiii]

Imagine Vexen was doing a experiment that backed fire and turns every single member except him into children.

@nopantssaturday is such a babe, guys, you don’t even understand

oOoOo

Oh No. This was not Good. Vexen watched as his latest creation shut down during its most crucial test stages. The scientist quickly ran to the machine and pried open the doors as a dense pink vapor inside of it’s chambers flowed out. As the doors begrudgingly opened, the academic waved his arms, trying to clear as much of the fog as possible to find his test subject inside. Thankfully the scientist was wearing his sealed suit or he would have been choking on the gas himself.

This machine was one Vexen was working on for himself; one to slow and eventually stop the aging process, but not because he was worried of aging himself. Oh no, The scientist merely was just trying to find a new way to defy the forces of nature with science, something he effectively loved doing. 

But as the smoke cleared from the lab, the subject, a white rabbit he had found, did not look any younger. “Shit.” The scientist huffed to himself.  He was sure that his calculations were correct. He knew they were sound, and yet here he was with the same adult rabbit he had started with. Ugh. The scientist slowly lifted the rabbit from the floor of the machine and held it in his arms as he carried it out of the chamber and to its small cage on the other side of the lab. But as he placed the rabbit in it’s holding, a loud unfamiliar voice echoed throughout the castle. 

“VEXEEEEEN!!!!!” The voice was high pitched and whining, like a woman or child. But it wasn’t Larxene. Curious, the scientist quickly removed his suit headed up the stairs to the main room of the castle. But never expected to see what lay ahead. 

There, sitting in the gray area, were 13 little toddlers. And not just any toddlers, no. They were all of the members of Organization XIII. The only reason he could tell it was them, was that they were all were still attempting to wear their cloaks that are now MUCH too large for them. Some of the children sat on the floor, some were crying. But there, sitting on the highest chair was a tiny Xemnas, arms folded and looking very angry. At him. 

This was supposed to be terrible, but Vexen couldn’t help but smile that this was his doing. His experiment had worked. Well, somewhat. But how was this possible? But a simple gaze upwards provided the answer. The vents! When the vapor exited the chamber of the machine, it probably traveled upward and into the vents to the rest of the castle. That must have been it.  Though this was a miracle, it was clear that no one was happy about this but Vexen. The tiny superior looked up at him with his little arms crossed. 

“Fix this. Now.”

So, after scooping up all of the toddlers and bringing them to his lab, Vexen got to work examining the effects of the pink anti-aging vapor. Of course, this task would be nothing for someone as intelligent as Vexen, but doing so while also babysitting 13 toddlers proved…. Difficult. Some of the children like Ienz– - Zexion were well behaved and sat with books. While others were.. More difficult. 

“Number VIII! Stop running around the lab this instant!!” The little troublemaker continued to scurry around the lab, stopping only once to turn his head and stick his tongue out at his captor.  The scientist quickly caught up, and lifted the rowdy little redhead into his arms before placing the boy in a small caged in area of the lab that the Academic was able to have the dusks put together as a suitable place to corral the children. Those dusks sure are capable when it comes to stealing from people, it seemed, for within a couple hours, they were able to put together a fairly suitable area to distract the children. Well. Most of them. 

“Noooo!!! I don’t wanna go in there!!!” The redhead loudly whined before being placed inside of the cage. 

“Well, that’s too bad, Number VIII. Because you need to say in there.” The scientist said, matter of factly. Fighting with this child was not much different from fighting with the real Axel it seems. 

“Well why does Xemnas get to sit out there!?” The toddler whined, even louder than before, pointing his little finger at the chair near Vexen’s lab desk where the tiny superior sat stoically, crossing his arms in a pensive stare. 

“He gets to sit there because he is the superior and gets to do what he wants.” The scientist stood and turned to walk back to his desk. The little flame’s face started to scrunch in disgruntlement before tears formed in his eyes and he let out a pained wail. 

“AwwaaaHhhh!!!!” The boy cried. “That’s not fair!!!!” But as the boy let out his whining scream, the high pitched cry of two babies carried in from the other room. 

“Oh great, you woke the infants….” Vexen sighed as he walked into the other room to soothe the crying babies.

Without the major distractions, Vexen was able to figure out two facts about the effects of the pink vapor. The first was that the anti-aging process seemed to be relative to the original ages of the person that inhaled the gas. For instance, Roxas and Xion, the youngest members of the organization, after inhaling the gasses have reverted to mere infants. Whereas Xigbar, Xaldin, and Lexaeus, as well as the superior, have reverted to a child that seemed to be about 4 or 5 years old. And all of the others in between seem to have become toddlers between the ages of 2 and 3 years old. This was fairly easy to understand by how the child acted and the cognitive functions the children possessed. 

The second thing that Vexen was able to discern was that even though each subject was able to remember what had happened to them and what was happened, they still displayed the behaviors, mannerisms, and priorities that a child would. This was able to be figured out by how Demyx has been able to watch the same Lucky Emblem Sing-A-Long-Song’s VHS on repeat for the last 2 hours with the same captivation and interest as the first time he watched it. It was also easy to tell by the way that Larxene smiled and laughed, at all. The fact that the girl was smiling was enough to say something about her had changed. 

The only child that didn’t seem to display this kind of behavior was that of Xemnas. It was as if the superior had the mind of someone well beyond their years and that only his body was his age. This phenomena was strange, yes, but further examination of the superiors mind would have to wait. For this man of science had to figure out how to fix the problem at hand first. As soon as he placed the now sleeping infants back down in the crib, Vexen left the darkened room and started to head back to the main part of the lab to continue his work. But before he could reach his lab desk, a tiny hand reached out and tugged on the bottom of his pants. One look down to his ankle revealed that it was Lexaeus tugging on his pants. 

“Yes, Number V, what do you need?” Vexen asked. The small boy didn’t talk much, of course he never really spoke in general. But the boy looked up at Vexen with big pleading eyes and placed his hand down over his front and pushing his knees together urgently. Vexen was momentarily confused by the dance but then understood. “Oh… OH!” The scientist then quickly took the child and walked him hurriedly to the nearest restroom before he had to ask the dusks to clean his floors. Again. 

Ugh this was going to be a long day. 

–

After a few hours, Vexen had started to get the hang of handling 13 children. At least enough that he could get his work done. The young superior sat in his chair and handled himself in all ways as if he was an adult. Xigbar was precocious but would quickly grow bored with the mischief he was causing and would turn to playing with whatever garbage he could find. Xaldin and Lexaeus were very quiet and both seemed to have no problem playing with the toys that the dusks had found at a moments notice. Lexaeus seemingly had a small rabbit plush he seemed focused on. Zexion had a small stack of picture books that seemed to be able to keep him entertained. Axel was a bit of a trouble maker, but it seemed that the redhead was able to keep himself distracted from causing mischief if he had Saix nearby. Something about the blue haired child seemed to keep Axel from going buck wild. 

Demyx has been watching the same VHS for the last 4 hours and even though the music was annoying, Vexen knew it kept him quiet, so he persevered. Was just kind of playing with the game board that the dusks had found, something called ‘Apologies!’. The pieces were missing, but that didn’t stop Luxord from repeatedly popping the bubble at the center of the game board and watching the dice inside bounce around. Marluxia and Larxene liked playing together most of the time and were able to be distracted by the dolls and dressing them up. And the last two are infants so while they required the most feeding, they were able to be kept fairly contained and didn’t get into trouble, sitting in chairs near the desk when they were awake, watching the scientist with wide eyes. 

After about a good amount of time testing and working at his desk without much interruption, the chilly Academic made it with a breakthrough, coming up with a bright blue liquid in a vile that could easily be turned into a vapor and once inhaled. Should negate the effects of his previous experiment. Thankfully this nightmare would be over. 

But as soon as that thought came to his mind, vexen looked up to the small boy with the periwinkle hair over her face looking down intently into his picture book and the scientist curl of a smile grew on his lips. He had almost forgotten how Ienzo used to love his books. It made him almost wish that the experiment didn’t have to end. But then another scream echoed through the lab. 

“VEXEN!! XIGBAR IS PULLING MY HAIR!!” 

“No! IM NOT! SHE STARTED IT” 

“NO I DIDN’T!!” 

“YES YOU DID!!” 

Okay. Never mind. Forget that. It needs to end now. 

Vexen quickly loaded the children with their original clothing draped on lazily into a vacuum sealed room of the lab (one that he probably used at the beginning of all this to have prevented this enter faux pas.) and pumped the room full of the blue vapor. The fog was as thick as its predecessor and soon the entire room went opaque with the gas. At first there was silence, but then the fog dissipated and it was clear that the reversal was a success. Soon the members all filed out of the room. 

“Ugh.. What happened?” Axel murmured as he stepped out, placing a hand up to his head. 

“I don’t know…” Demyx replied. “But I’m really in the mood for some chicken nuggets…” 

“Don’t you eat that every day, tyke?” Xigbar snickered. 

“Hey!” The younger boy whined as most of the members left the lab in a group. The superior gave Vexen a silent nod before leaving the lab as well. And soon the only ones left in the lab were Vexen… and Zexion. 

“So..” The younger member paused. “Was that whole afternoon real?” 

Vexen gave a dry chuckle in response. “Ah.. Yes.. Not my proudest failure. But yes it did happen.” 

“Oh man… “ Zexion sighed. “How did you deal with 13 children, Vexen..?” 

“Oh.. With great difficulty.” Vexen laughed again, tired from the day he just had. “But you know what? It was not as catastrophic as it could have been. And.. It kind of reminded me of when you were small in Radiant Garden. Of course, back then it was just you, and not all of the others as well. But sometimes it’s nice to remember the better times. You were always a well behaved child, Ienzo– I- I- Mean..” The scientist fumbled on the name a moment before the young man stopped him. 

“No. No. Ienzo is fine..” Then a pause hung in the air a moment before the schemer spoke again. “You know.. I never thanked you, Vexen. For raising me in that castle with Master Ansem and the other apprentices. I mean, my parents died and I could have been sent to suffer the fate of so many other orphaned children in Radiant Garden, but instead you all cared for me and raised me. And if today wasn’t proof, raising children is no easy task.” 

For a moment, the Chilly Academic didn’t know how to reply. His throat almost went dry. He had never expected something like this from the boy, honestly they barely spoke anymore outside of work, let alone spoke of the past. But.. somewhere deep inside of him, Vexen could swear that he felt an inkling of… happiness? 

“I– You’re welcome, Ienzo.” The scientist smiled. And as the boy slowly left the lab, a thought came to Vexen’s mind. 

Maybe this experiment ending in failure was not the worst thing.

[losangeleslovesyou]

DROP 6: I don't mind being alone. I quite enjoy my own company actually. However choosing to be alone is different from being forced to be alone and that's where the difficulty comes in. You're stuck with yourself, 24 hours of the day, 7 days of the week. There are only so many naps I can take in a day. So this is what happens when the world stops. 2018 was a shit year, to say the least. 2019 was probably the best year of my life. I was doing what I loved and I was on a high. I'm a workaholic. Always have been, probably always will be. Practicing stillness is a challenge. I'm also a creature of habit. If you know me, you know my comfort lies in my red and black scarf around my head, my hot water bottle, a sofa, and a blanket. I'm content. I think about how this time in isolation has impacted my mental health and has brought to light how much I suppress things that I feel super intensely. I hate crying. I feel weak when I cry. I've cried a lot over the past month. Feeling over and underwhelmed somehow. Feeling like I don't have anything valuable to offer because the state of the world is so fucked, what can I ACTUALLY contribute. Nothing really matters and no one really cares. All that self-doubt shit I never imagined thinking. I think about my mum, and how much I want to do and give to her, but I can't do that if there's a fucking pandemic happening and I'm locked up, can I? She doesn't ask for much. All she asks is that I look after myself and do what makes me happy. I started working on an EP early April, with a plan to finish it by the end of the month. Around mid-April I got disheartened and started getting in my own way. That self-doubt shit again. "This isn't good enough, people won't like this, its shit, the mix is trash," everything negative under the sun. My neighbour told me to turn the music down one day, he's working from home. He clearly wasn't as tolerant as Mary. I'd never seen him before, he just moved in next door. I said ok, I asked what his hours were (trying to compromise). "9:30am - 6:30pm", he said. He was cool with the noise after that time. I said ok. He asked if I was playing drums ha. Nah nigga that's that bass. (Osiris' bass that is, I was working on a song to one of his beats, Track 5). I explained what I was working on and he said "ah so this is actually your work too?". I said yes but I wasn't really in the mood for big big convo so I wrapped it up, apologising again for the noise, and then politely kept it moving. Well this is annoying. I like to work on music during the day, I like sunlight. Especially the way it hits through my windows in my living room, makes me feel inspired to be productive. That didn't matter though, because I was already giving up on the EP anyway. I woke up one morning after a hard couple of days feeling sad, low and depressed. Checked my twitter timeline and saw some beautiful photographs somebody had taken, portraits they were. It instantly hit me. I've always known my creativity has no boundaries or limitations and will always stretch way beyond music. Photography is another medium and outlet for me to express myself. It's an instantaneous art form. That's what I love. When I first started, I used to immediately review each shot I'd taken, craving perfection. Deleting on the spot the ones I didn't like. A friend noticed I kept doing that, he's a painter and takes photos also. He told me don't focus on deleting, focus on taking more. After serious procrastination I decided to stop being a lil bitch and cry baby and knuckle down on the EP. I gassed myself up, There's no one else here, I'm alone, I had to. It started to feel good. I started to get really excited, wheeling myself up, spudding myself. I had to. Then I completed it. and when? End of the month just as I'd set out too. Things come full circle in the end don't they? The middle feels like growing pains, self-doubt is a bitch and the only way out is through. Thank you for being the lights that you are. You're all needed, valued, appreciated, and loved. Not just by me of course and I am sure I can speak on behalf of everyone you hold dear in your lives close to you. This is a turbulent time but we don't fold. We don't come from that. We will always be fine. Simbi x Little Simz Drop 6 Age 101 May 6, 2020 1. might bang, might 2. not one life, might live 3. damn right 4. you should call mum 5. where's my lighter ft. alewya

[kickmag]

Little Simz Announces New EP Drop 6

Little Simz announces her new EP Drop 6 that will be released next Wednesday. The London rapper has been making music during the quarantine and she released a statement about the EP:

I don't mind being alone. I quite enjoy my own company actually. However choosing to be alone is different from being forced to be alone and that's where the difficulty comes in. You're stuck with yourself, 24 hours of the day, 7 days of the week. There are only so many naps I can take in a day. So this is what happens when the world stops. 2018 was a shit year, to say the least. 2019 was probably the best year of my life. I was doing what I loved and I was on a high. I'm a workaholic. Always have been, probably always will be. Practicing stillness is a challenge. I'm also a creature of habit. If you know me, you know my comfort lies in my red and black scarf around my head, my hot water bottle, a sofa, and a blanket. I'm content. I think about how this time in isolation has impacted my mental health and has brought to light how much I suppress things that I feel super intensely. I hate crying. I feel weak when I cry. I've cried a lot over the past month. Feeling over and underwhelmed somehow. Feeling like I don't have anything valuable to offer because the state of the world is so fucked, what can I ACTUALLY contribute. Nothing really matters and no one really cares. All that self-doubt shit I never imagined thinking. I think about my mum, and how much I want to do and give to her, but I can't do that if there's a fucking pandemic happening and I'm locked up, can I? She doesn't ask for much. All she asks is that I look after myself and do what makes me happy.

I started working on an EP early April, with a plan to finish it by the end of the month. Around mid-April I got disheartened and started getting in my own way. That self-doubt shit again. "This isn't good enough, people won't like this, its shit, the mix is trash," everything negative under the sun. My neighbour told me to turn the music down one day, he's working from home. He clearly wasn't as tolerant as Mary. I'd never seen him before, he just moved in next door. I said ok, I asked what his hours were (trying to compromise). "9:30am - 6:30pm", he said. He was cool with the noise after that time. I said ok. He asked if I was playing drums ha. Nah nigga that's that bass. (Osiris' bass that is, I was working on a song to one of his beats, Track 5). I explained what I was working on and he said "ah so this is actually your work too?". I said yes but I wasn't really in the mood for big big convo so I wrapped it up, apologising again for the noise, and then politely kept it moving. Well this is annoying. I like to work on music during the day, I like sunlight. Especially the way it hits through my windows in my living room, makes me feel inspired to be productive. That didn't matter though, because I was already giving up on the EP anyway.

I woke up one morning after a hard couple of days feeling sad, low and depressed. Checked my twitter timeline and saw some beautiful photographs somebody had taken, portraits they were. It instantly hit me. I've always known my creativity has no boundaries or limitations and will always stretch way beyond music. Photography is another medium and outlet for me to express myself. It's an instantaneous art form. That's what I love. When I first started, I used to immediately review each shot I'd taken, craving perfection. Deleting on the spot the ones I didn't like. A friend noticed I kept doing that, he's a painter and takes photos also. He told me don't focus on deleting, focus on taking more.

After serious procrastination, I decided to stop being a lil bitch and cry baby and knuckle down on the EP. I gassed myself up, There's no one else here, I'm alone, I had to. It started to feel good. I started to get really excited, wheeling myself up, spudding myself. I had to. Then I completed it. and when? End of the month just as I'd set out too. Things come full circle, in the end, don't they? The middle feels like growing pains, self-doubt is a bitch and the only way out is through. Thank you for being the lights that you are. You're all needed, valued, appreciated, and loved. Not just by me of course and I am sure I can speak on behalf of everyone you hold dear in your lives close to you.

This is a turbulent time but we don't fold. We don't come from that. We will always be fine.

Simbi x                                                   

Drop 6 

1. might bang, might 

2. not one life, might live

3. damn right

4. you should call mum

5. where's my lighter ft. alewya

[kariachi]

Okay guys, I’m getting a liveblog done today if it kills me. This one is gonna take a bit longer to do, because I hurt my hand so typing is bleh, but we carry on!

Xingo Nation, because my son is the most important thing in this franchise.

Have I mentioned lately that I love the use of music in this show? Because I do. Also, yay Kelly Turnbull! This promises to at least be fun visually then.

“Now we’re not saying it was aliens-” says nerd-on-tv in front of several pictures of America’s Next Top Space Squid.

Oh look, a Mike production. I miss him, he should’ve gotten more and better, wasted potential as a villain and character.

Ben, not impressed by this tv lineup.

Oh lords, he’s not even feeling Xingo? Gwen check his temperature I think the boy may be ill.

Lucky Girl and Xingo run in the same timeslot. No wonder Ben and Gwen are so primed to argue.

And lo, the fighting begins. Watch the feelings show, Ben, it’s good for you. A magical girl a day keeps the toxic masculinity at bay.

Ben’s response to not being able to steal the remote back from Gwen is to go Stinkfly and odor her into submission.

Ooo, Lucky Girl goes for female villains and what looks to be an all female main cast. It is Sailor Moon for Gwens. Takes the color coding to a whole new level though.

Queen Griefenstein, lords preserve me

Lucky Girl: *talks about ‘an insecure heart corrupts the soul’* Kevin: *ruins a display in the process of stealing a remote* ~I love this sort’ve storytelling~

Bystander: It’s so nice to see a little boy in touch with his emotions like that Kevin: *insecure preteen panic*

“Uh, what? I don’t have emotions!” My son

Pausing because I can’t feel my hands, be back when they aren’t numb

If nothing else can we stop and acknowledge the emo poet panicking at the concept that 1) he may have emotions, and 2) he may be in touch with them

Kevin Levin, going from ‘bad mood’ to ‘insecure panic’ to ‘okay, Xingo, this is properly non-feelingsy’ over the span of 20 seconds

“haha Violence.“ My son

There is a character on the Xingo show complaining about said show getting bad ratings. I’m not surprised, I’m just acknowledging the matter.

Kevin: *yet more preteen panic*

Kevin, honey, take a step back, check the internet, confirm before you panic.

...okay, I don’t agree with calling Lucky Girl garbage, but 18 seasons is excessive. Honestly by that point it probably is garbage, nothing can survive that long without devolving into chaff. Quick, somebody get this child the 1st season, stat!

Plus a Japan-only radio drama, a comic to-in, and a spin-off series. Damn. Also Kevin, dearheart, you know a suspicious amount about Lucky Girl and it’s various works for someone who supposedly thinks it’s garbage.

My son, my dear, sweet, insecure, ‘I have no emotions and totally have nothing to do with anything that may acknowledge emotions exist’ son

11-year-olds

Check the fucking internet before you go alien over this, child

My son is a moron. Brilliant, but a moron.

Xingo: *potentially cancelled cartoon panic*

Oh look, the Xingo x Lucky Girl Crossover everyone’s been waiting for

I think I’m gonna have to try muting this and going off subtitles, just to actually get through it sometime before the turn of the next decade.

(Also, can I just say how I love that this decade’s first liveblog includes Kevin yelling ‘I don’t have emotions’. Feels like it’s setting a good baseline for the next ten years of Kevin content (which you will be getting, don’t doubt it))

Queen Griefenstein: *has too high of standards to work with Xingo*

Xingo pies Lucky Girl. To see Kevin’s reaction you would think this was the funniest thing to happen ever.

*snort* Okay, that second pieing was funny.

Ben has successfully gassed Gwen out of the Rustbucket.

Welp.

Max: *explaining the majesty of free hotdogs*

..........double welp. Maybe Xingo needs cancelling.

Max: Maybe they’re doing a crossover Gwen: The audacity to even think-

Kevin: *laughs in the distance* Ben: The audacity-

Honestly the best part here is Kevin has no reason to think setting Xingo loose could go badly. He’s had nothing to do with and heard nothing of the shit Xingo keeps pulling. In his inexperienced 11-yo mind this makes perfect sense.

Ben: *fiercely demands to know if Kevin is the one who set Xingo loose* Kevin: Uh, nope Xingo: Buddy!

Kevin wasn’t even looking for trouble today, he just found it. My headcanon that he is a walking disaster area continues to be supported.

He is not comfortable with Xingo reaching out of the tv to pat him on the head.

“-while I go put marinara in Lucky Girl’s wig“ welp

Mike’s character did not deserve a Xingo smooch, and his character’s love interest did not deserve to have a Xingo smooch their guy. Just because Mike is 100% Immortal Little Shit does not mean they aren’t good people

Oh gods that UAF expy is as painful as the show

Note to self: Do not let Xingo on the news

Operation Change The Fucking Channel is a go

Scratch that, Operation Shut off the Goddamn TVs is a go

I gotta say, at this point at least we really need an Argit. Give Kev a steady friend with limits on the trouble they’ll get him into.

Welp. Better go find another remote Gwen

Ah, yes, the channel change buttons on the tv proper, so handy

“-where two obnoxious boys who can turn into alien monsters have engaged in combat“ That’s it, that’s the show

Also, oo, Max got ice cream. Honestly until told otherwise I’m going to assume the entire reason Kevin is here is for the free food.

Gwen saves the day, holy fuck that was close. We do not need a Xingo the size of a planet

‘Kev-a-lev-a-ding-dong’ good lords

‘Second rate’ goddamn will somebody give this child a fucking break! I swear he’s been appreciated once and a combo of Ben and his own issues screwed it up!

My baby...

Ben, while Xingo is tearing Kevin down to nothing: ....... Ben, when Kevin’s temper starts going: *shocked*

And lo but the boys were on the same page again, because Xingo couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.

I love these children

The boys working together and Kevin hitting Xingo so hard he flew through several shows and right back into Lucky Girl.

‘Constructive criticism‘ somebody hit him again

Hello Lucky Girl, thank you Lucky Girl

And lo, Xingo was no longer an immediate issue

Kevin: *causes problem* Team Tennyson: *celebrate solving problem* Kevin: Bitch, without me-

Huh, it’s a Wednesday. Now I’m even more annoyed I wasn’t feeling up to doing this liveblog yesterday

Lucky Girl: *talks about ‘rattling the rifts between enemies’ and emotional honesty* Ben & Kev: *’not emotions no’ cringe*

Ben is all for the ‘if you can’t talk out your problems, punch a bitch’ moral of the day and now is willing to give Lucky Girl a shot

Meanwhile Kevin is at first confused- or possibly concerned- by the moral, then Ben’s response to it, and then goes right back to ‘I totally don’t enjoy this show, I would never, I Am The Night’

Then slips into the next aisle back and moves a box so he can watch the episode in secret

These children are so cute

10/11, not perfect but close enough

[love4kpopstars]

Hidden feelings- Jungkook

AN: Sooo Im back with one shot and I hope you’ll enjoy it. Sorry for any mistakes.

Genere: Romance

WC: 3407 (hehe) ENJOY

Summary:  

(CR TO OWNERS< GIF NOT MINE)

Jeon Jungkook- everyone knew this name. The mst popular guy at school and of course capitan of the school’s football team. Jeon is the exact opposite of you. Shy, nice and not wantig to be in the centre of other’s attention. It was cliché but every girll dreamed about him. He was charrming, handsome and sexy. No matter how much you wanted o hide it from yourself you also had a crush on him. But how can you not when he looks so good everyday and his smile is to die for. Jungkook always dated the popular girls -obviously- but it never was longer than 3 months. Everyoe in the school including the teachers loved him. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately you were in the ame class so even if you tried to forget abut him or uncrush it was simply impossible. You and him never really talked besides that one time when in your sophomore year you two had to do a project together. that’s when you two talked and spend a lot time together and also this is the time when you started having  crush on him. Now it was only a little glance in the corridor or  question if he can brrow a pen. It didn’t really bother you because as a person that doesn’t like too much attention you knew that it was better to kee away from JungKook before some stupid girl will start to get n yur nerves and taunt you.

You started our day as usual, You woke u at 6:20 am and started gettig ready. You did your everyday gentle makeup, wore your gasses and just like any other day wore jeans withwthe top and some black jacket. At 7:20 you were ready to go out. School was only 10 minutes away from your home so you took your time and went to grab a coffe. When you got to school you saw your best friend Jun.

- Hi Jun. How are you?- You asked as ou came up to your friend

- Ah Y/N hi. I’m great and you?- He greeted you with a big smile.

- I’m good too.- You smiled back at him.

- God it feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks.- Jun laughed.

- Yeah we haven’t seen each other for 2 day.- You said sarcastically.

- It’s way too long. Oh I see you bought me coffe.- He said as he took your coffe away.

He was right though you alwayss bought coffe but could only drink a lttle bit and then he would finish it. You two went inside and waited for the first lesson to start. You still  had 10 minute beforee it would start so you tarted reading a book you were currently in the middle of. You don’t know when but the bell ran and the teacher was already in the classroom. Soon you heard thee door open and you lifted your head and saw no ne else but him. Jeon Jungkook. You felt your cheek started getting hot and you quickly looked down. He sat in his seat right behind you. You lifted your head again only to see Jun making fun f you. He knew about your crush on Jungkook and he loved teasig you about it.

- Jun focus!- Ms. Lee scolded him and you stuck your tongue out.

After the class ended you went on with your day as usually. Nothing outstanding really happened. It was finally lunch break, you and Jund were talking about everythng and nothing. In about 5 minutes you saw one f Jungkook’s friend coming in your direction.

- Hi Jun, Y/N.- The boy greeted both of you. You were surprised that he remembered your name.

Jun was this person that got along with everyone and had a lot of friends. He was friends with some of Jungkooks so that’s probably why he knew your name.

- Sup Minjae.- Jun greeted him back and you simply smiled at the boy.

- So Jun I don’t know if you heard but this weekend there will be a party. It’s my birthday and I wanted to invite you. And you too Y/N.- He informed while smiling.

You almost chocked when you heard him say that you are invited.

-That’s great. We’ll be there.- Jun assured his friend.

- Great. Saturday at 8pm sharp.- He smiled for the last time before going back to the resst of hiss friends.

- Are you crazy. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t even knw them that well. No way I’m no going.- You started telling Jun.

- What? Come on Y/N. Minjae invite you himself.  You never go ut on weekedns. Come with me it will be fun I swear. They are really fun.- Your friend tried cnvincing you.

- I have nothing to wear and you know I’m not the party kinda girl.- You tried telling Jun.

- We will go shopping and if you’ll be bored or uncrmfortable we’ll leave.- He looked at ou with puppy eyes.

-Ughhhhh...Fine.- You finally agreed.

- Yes!- He was really happy.

As the day came to an end you decided to go to the library to do your homework. You sat at the table alone and fell into your world of boks and thoughts. You had yur headphones on and your favourite songs playing. After 20 minutes you decided to take a brak and just relax. You closed your eyes and sat there for a little bit. Then you heard some shuffling arunf near you. You stopped the music and opened your eye to see Jungkook sitting in front of you.

-Hope it’s okay if I sit here- He smiled at you. Half asking and half saying.

-Ummm… yeah of course.- You answerd quietly.

You didn’t really konw what to do. You just sat there like a fool and stared at him. You noticed that he was looking at you too and it wasn’t just a normal look. You don’t really know how to decribe it but it was different. After a while you took your things an left, you could swear that you saw hm smile at you as you were leaving.

The rest of te week went smoothly, othing happend and before you knew it was aleady Friday. You and Jun greed to go shopping so that you can buy omehing for yourself you wear to the party. After 2 hours of looking you wanted to give up there was nthing that caught your attention. You and your friend decided to get something to eat and look again.

- I can’t belive that after 2 hours you still haven’t found what you’re ging to wear.- Jun nagged jokingly.

- Well sorry that everything that we looked at didn’t suit my style.- You answerd.

- Don’t worry I’m sure we’ll find something.- He tried to cheer you up.

- I hope so.- You said and the two of you started eating.

- Oh look Y/N it’s Jungkook.- Jun pointed with his head and you looked behind.

- Yeah.- A little smile fund its way to your face as soon as you saw him.

- Stop blushing.- Jun teased.

-I’m not. - You rolled your eyes at his response.

- Anyways are you going to do anything​? - Your fried asked.

-About what?- You asked confused.

-About your crush on Jungkook.- He looked at you with a questioning look.

-Why would I. It’s not like he likes me back or anythng.- You looked sad.

- Hey okay let’s not talk about this and let’s look for something again.- Jun said as he grabbed you and yu two started walking towards the shops.

Finally after another hour you found something that you liked. Sleeveless, white top and and blak leather pants. It looked really good n you and you already had planned n how to complete this look. You thanked Jun for helping you and after saying your godbyes you went home. For the rest f the day you were watching movies and reading books. When you woke up on Saturday you cleand your room and did your homework. Around 5:30 pm you started getting ready. First you took a shower and then did your hair. You went for little beach waves. After that was ready you did your makeup. You wore contacts so you decided on adding some eyeshadow and dark lips. You finally put on your outfit, you completed th look with a black leather jacket ad white slip ons. After you were ready you called your friend and asked if he was ready to go. You met with him at 7:40, he asked his brother to give us a ride and we were at Minjae’s place at 8 pm sharp.

As soon as you went inside you noticed all of Jungkook’s frieds and him. He looked like a star and as if the light was only on him. He saw you and you two made eye contact. When you and Jun were coming up to say hi to his friends everyone looked so shocked when they saw you. ‘You look amazing’, ‘Wow’, were only a coupe of thing thath people sad when they saw you. At first you felt uncomfortable but then you gained confidence and started enjoying yourself. After couple of hours of dancing and meeting new people you had to go to the bathroom. After you finished your buisness you saw staris thath led to rooftop. You decided to go up and get se fresh air. As you tood thereand looked at the view you heard some noise, at first you got scared ut as you looked what it was you saw Jungkook standing at the edge of the rooftop, it looked as if he was abou to fall over so you quickly ran up to him and held him. He turned around and met your eyes.

-Y/N...- He mutterd and smiled.

- Yes it’s me. Jungkook you’re drunk. Let’s go sit somewhere.- You sugessted.

You took him to the corner of the rooftop and sat there with him. The two of you stayed like thath for a while in a complete silnce. Then you heard Jungkook humming. Even th sounded so angelic. You looked at him and  he looked at you.

(recomed listening to this while reading this scene)

-Yoy know this song?- He asked and started singing.

- Yeah.- You whisperd.

-Good. I love this song.- He said with his big, beautiful smile.

- Me too.- You smiled also.

You could  feel his eyes on you, you tried to ignore it but it was hard.

- We should go back.- You said as you looked at him again.

- Let’s stay a little longer.- He grabbed your hand.

You stumbled a litte and fell on him. As you tried to move away ou felt soething wam on your lips. It took you a second to realise what is happening. But when it struck you, you didn’t konw what to do. He was kissing you. Jeon Jungkook was kissing YOU. After a while you pulled away frm him, shocked at what has just happened. You quickly stood up and ran downstairs. When you found Jun you told him you wanted to leave, he saw that you were jittery. He took his and your jacket and you two left. Bfore thath you informed Minjae about Jungkook being on the rooftop. On your way out you bumped into someone, quickly mutterd sorry and left. On your way home you told Jun what happend with Jungkook on the rooftop and all he could say was ‘wow’. After you got home you changed into pj’s and went to lie on your bed. You culdn’t stop thinking about Jungkook and his lips on yours. It felt like a movie but also like a dream thath you’ll wake up frm in a little bit. You decided to talk with him on Monday about it. You were hoping that maybe...maybe there will be something more. Sunday was a lazy day for you. You did what you always do. Read books and watch some movies.

Next day you woke up pretty early. You were nervous but also excited. You couldn’t wait to meet Jungkok and talk with him. When you got to school you tried looking fr him but it was unsucessful. At the lunch break you saw him in the corridor. He was alone. Perfect opportunity to talk. You went in his direction and saw him looking at you and cleary he saw you but as soon as you were about to say smething he just turned arund no ‘Hi’ n smile no nothing. It hurt you. He was like that for the rest of the week, and the next week, and the week fter that. After a month yu couldn’t belive how childish he was. He igored you for a moth. You were heaartbroken and couldn’t belive how stuid you were to think there could be something more between you two. You slowly started to forget about him and the crush you had.

- I can’t belive how selfish and childish he is.- Jun was annoyed at Jungkook’s behaviour.

-I know, but it’s also my fault thath thought, like a fool, thath he might like me.- You agreed with your friend.

- I mean how could he do something like thath to you and then just ignre you!- Jun was getting more angry.

- Jun calm down, it’s fine. I’m over it now.- You assured your friend.

-Umm...Hey, can I intrrupt you?- You heard a male voice, both you and Jun looked at the person that said it.

- Yes.- You smply answerd.

-Can I talk to you Y/N in private.- The guy asked.

-Sure.- You stood up and followed him away from Jun.

-I’m not sure if you know me but well I got  a question.- He started.

- I do know you Shin. You’re Jun’s friend. I remember we met some time ago and I bumped into you at the party.- You smiled.

- Well i’m glad then. I wanted to ask if it will be alright if I ask you to go out on a date with me​?- He looked at you with worried look.

-What? Me? Really, I’m surprised. I didn’t know you liked me.-You couldn’t hide your confusion.

-Yeah I really like you, I think you are very pretty and funny.- He bluhshed.

- Sure, why not.- You patted his shoulder and smiled.

-Great. I’ll pick you up at 6 pm.- You never saw a bigger smile than his.

You went back to Jun and told him that Shin just asked you out and thath you agreed. To wich your friend reacted positively. Shin seemed to be a really sweet guy and you wanted o do something that will help you forget Jungkook definetevly.

-Guys you won’t belive it. She agreed.-Shin annoucd t his friends.

-What are you talking about?- They asked simultaneously.

-Y/N, I asked her out and she said yes.- He answerd happily.

When Jungkook hearg thath smething broke in him. He got angry and jaelous. Hecouldn’t belive how you could’ve said yes. He wanted to talk to you about this but he cold not find you anywhere. The truth was Jungkook liked you. A lot. Ever since the project you two did together but he was too scaared to tell you. He cared too much about his reputation and also that you wouldn’t want to date. But he just realised how stupid he was. Even though he was drunk thath night he remembers what happened between you and him.

Later that day you started getting ready for your date with Shin. You chose a simple dress with floral dress and slip ons. You did a gentle makeup and tied your hair in a ponytail. You went with Shin to a nerbay coffe shop. You talked a lot with him. He wa actually very sweet and gentle. He ade forget about Jungkook for a long while. After the date ended he walked you home and kissed your forehead. Around 9 pm you heard knocking on your door. You thought it might be Jun but oh boy were you wrong.

-Y/N we need to talk.-Jungkook said as you opend the door.

-What are you doing here?- You asked with annoyend and surprisein your voice.

- I want to talk to you.- He repeated.

- Well I don’t s go away.- You wanted to close the door but he stopped you.

-About what happed at the party...- He started.

- HAHA the party….nothing happened. When I wanted to talk you avoided me and ignored me. Now after 2 months you can go and fuck yourself. You know wha I knew you were an asshole but I never imagined you would be thath awful. I was such a fool to fall for you. But you know what I’m glad thath I’m over you so stop coming here aand trying t talk to me at school.- You straight up told him what you think about him and closed the door.

Jungkook did as you wishd he didn’t get in your way anymore and it went back to the way it was before. You two didn’t talk nor look at each other.You started spending more time with Shin and really started to like him but the only problem was that  not in the way he would want.

-Shin, listen to me. You are great, ou are sweet, gentle and loving and I reall like you...- You started.

-But you don’t like me in that way, you like me as a friend.- He finished.

-I’m sorry...-You looked at the ground due to the bad feeling you had inside you right now.

-Truth is Y/N the day I asked you out, I did it to make Jungkook realise his mistake. I knew you loved him and I know that you tw kissed at the party. But I also knew that he wouldn’t do anything about it. I really do ike you I ner lied about that but I just knew that I had no chance. I just wanted to help my friend.- He explained.

- Shin you….you are amazing. But why would you help him.-You conyinued t ask.

- Because he loves you too Y/N, ever since thath project you two did. He fell for you but wast to sacred to say anything.- Shin looked at you with a warm but sad smile.

You hugged him and thanked him for telling you the truth. You went t look for Jungkook and mt with Jun on the way. You asked if he has seen him but he couldn’t answer becasue he was interrupted by an annoucment cominf frm the school’s speaker.

I know I’m stupid and that you don’t want to listen r see me. Bu please listen to this at least. I know you may think I’m a jackass and a coward fr avoiding the topic oof what happend between us. And I know you’re probably right but when I see you I caan’t help but act like a fool and try to act cool but that’s because I love you. I feel for you head over heals whe we were assigned to do the damn project. Ever since then you are the only one on my mind and I can’t go on with my day if I don’t see you. I loe seeing you smile and laugh but when someone else makes you laugh i get jaelous and when I see you with other guys I just wan to came up to you and screaam thath you are mine and that i don’t want to lose you. Y/N did you hear me? I LOVE YOU AND I DON’T WANT TO LOSE AGAIN!!

You were standing there lika a fool with tears in your eyes. You wanted to run and when you turned you saw him. Standing there with smile on his fac, looking at you.

-And what are lauging at you fool?- You asked while smiling.

- Just happy to see you.- He answerd.

-Are you going to just stand there and smie or will you finally do something.- You laughed and so did he.

He quickly came up to you, grabbed your head, looked you deep in the eye and….Kissed you.

-I love you Y/N.- He said while caressing your head.

-I love you too Jungkook.- You said back and smiled.

-I’ve been waiting for this so long.- He truly felt happy that he revealed his hidden feelings.

REQUEST ARE OPEN. GIVE ME IDEAS!!!!

[relationshipidiot]

King Push v. 6ixGod

OCTOBER 12, 2016

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~H.G.T.V. FREESTYLE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Half a year later, still ain't heard an album greater The natives want me out of the office, back on the pavement Jokers at the top know the king is nothin' to play with 9 to 5 money is just as sweet as the grave shift El presidenté, Blowbama, blow by ya Chopper next to me in every picture, Osama Oh mama, they question my starting line up You only find a diamond from diggin' like coal miners Don't listen to 'em, Desiigner The same rappers talkin' next year will be Uber drivers (Fuck 'em) Chanel dad hats, but you don't know that they got 'em Trap door shopper, they rotate the wall So you will never see me as you rotate the mall 330 spin, cook a steak up on this grill Me myself and I, we like a hamster in the wheel Rolls emblem, Black Virginia Pull in a neighborhood I don't blend in Album of the year contender every year The kitchen's full of work, it's blenders everywhere Blended bitches everywhere that do the most They never seen with him so they fuck his ghost Invisible man, timepiece with the invisible hands MJ, remember the time they counted in sand hourglass But mine come with purse and heels And the DIY Gucci with the crest and shields 

TO DRAKE 

It's too far gone when the realest ain't real I walk amongst the clouds so your ceilings ain't real These niggas Call of Duty cause their killings ain't real With a questionable pen so the feelin' ain't real Rap's John Grisham I can paint the picture with the words if you listen (shh) The bar's been lowered, the well's run dry They beefin' over melodies, but no, not I (yugh) See I'm so top 5 If they factor in the truth I just might blow by Blowbama

~~~~~~~~~~~TWO BIRDS W ONE STONE by DRAKE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OCTOBER 29, 2016

More time with family and friends, more life
More time to get it right
It's only me, but I'm seeing four shadows in the light
My demons visit me every night
To the most high, I'm forever indebted
I know I gotta pay somethin', I know that day's comin'
I put it all in the music
Because if I don't say it here, then I won't say nothin'
Could feel my hand getting tired from holding the grudges
Two birds, one stone, my aim is amazin'
I need to start losing my shit on you niggas that's hatin'
Too reserved, like I called ahead for me and my lady
Free C5, how the fuck we got the boss waiting?
Ever since the blue basement, I found God and I lost patience
Between rocks and hard places of all places
Spotted everywhere, like Dalmatian
Cops snoop around now, 'cause all of my dogs famous
Please welcome the October fall baby
Vaughan Road Academy, star player—my mind's not all there
Used to carry a lot of dead weight like a pallbearer
People too scared to tell the truth, so it's all dares
Count it, it's all there, and we all square
Quick money, I'm in and out
My dad used to use a soap bar 'til it's thinnin' out
But, shit, look at Dennis now
All Stacy Adams and linnen'd out
More blessings for Sandy and him, more life
My parents never got it right
But God bless 'em both, I think we all alike
We all wide awake late at night, thinking on what to change
If we do get to do it twice in another life
Scared to go to sleep now
'Cause being awake is what all my dreams were like
Back when the bar that I had set for myself was out of sight
Tell me how I went and did chin-ups
On this shit when I can't see it
Pin-ups of Meagan Good and Pam Grier
Soul sisters inspired my old scriptures
Now that feeling's gone like them old pictures
Mixin' liquor got us both twisted, words get so vicious
You just stare at me while you roll Swishers
Girl, I love you, but I don't miss ya
And no matter what year it is, I'm a 06er
Go figure, cold nigga, stay in school, man
Fuck the rap game, it's all lies and it's all filthy
Two percent of us rich and the rest of these niggas all milk it
Got two of my niggas off with a "not guilty"
Gave back to the city and never said it if I didn't live it
But still they try and tell you I'm not the realest. 
Like I'm some privileged kid
That never sat through a prison visit
Or like it was just handed to me tied with a ribbon. 
I never worked to get it

TO PUSHA


But really it's you with all the drug dealer stories
That's gotta stop, though
You made a couple chops and now you think you Chapo
If you ask me though, you ain't lining the trunk with kilos
You bagging weed watching Pacino with all your niggas
Like, "This what we need to be on," but you never went live
You middle-man in this shit, boy, you was never them guys
I can tell, 'cause I look most of you dead in your eyes
And you'll be tryna sell that story for the rest of your lives
Can't show us where the cash is
Me, I don't judge, I'm just going off what the math is
Numbers inflated
They all look at me, like, "What have you done for me lately?"
"I like your older shit but wasn't in love with the latest."
Aw, baby, stop debatin', I'm just a creative
My numbers out of this world
No wonder they got me feeling so alienated

TO CUDI


You were the man on the moon
Now you just go through your phases
Life of the angry and famous
Rap like I know I'm the greatest
Then give you tropical flavours
Still never been on hiatus
You stay xann'd and perk'd up
So when reality set in, you don't gotta face it
I'm down 200 in Vegas but winning life on a daily basis
It seems like nobody wants to stay in my good graces
I'm like a real estate agent, putting you all in your places
Look what happens soon as you talk to me crazy
Is you crazy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~INFARED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[on the album]

TO DRAKE

The game's fucked up Niggas beats is bangin’, nigga, ya hooks did it The lyric pennin' equal the Trumps winnin' The bigger question is how the Russians did it It was written like Nas but it came from Quentin At the mercy of a game where the culture’s missing When the CEO's blinded by the glow, it's different Believe in myself and the Coles and Kendricks Let the sock puppets play in their roles and gimmicks, shit Remember Will Smith won the first Grammy? And they ain't even recognize Hov until "Annie" So I don't tap dance for the crackers and sing Mammy 'Cause I'm posed to juggle these flows and nose candy (yugh) Ferrari, my 40th, blew the candles out Tom Brady'ed you niggas, I had to scramble out They be ridin’ these waves, I pulled my sandals out Jefe Latin my Grammy, I went the Spanish route

REFERENCING BACKLASH FOR DISSING BIRDMAN & CASHMONEY

Oh now it’s okay to kill Baby Niggas looked at me crazy like I really killed a baby Salute Ross 'cause the message was pure He see what I see when you see Wayne on tour Flash without the fire Another multi-platinum rapper trapped and can’t retire Niggas get exposed, I see the cracks and I'm the liar? Shit I've been exposed, I took the crack and built the wire

BACK TO DRAKE

Now who do you admire? Your rap songs is all tryin' my patience Them prices ain’t real without inflation I done flew it, I done grew it, been a conduit Moynat bags on my bitches, I done blew it See through it, neck, igloo it Habla en español, I y tu it Let Steven talk streamin' and Shazam numbers I'll ensure you gettin' every gram from us Let's cram numbers, easily The only rapper sold more dope than me was Eazy-E How could you ever right these wrongs When you don't even write your songs? But let us all play along We all know what niggas for real been waitin' on, Push

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DUPPY FREESTYLE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAY 25 

{ALL TO PUSHA}

So if you rebuke me for working with someone else on a couple of Vs What do you really think of the nigga that's making your beats? I've done things for him I thought that he never would need Father had to stretch his hands out and get it from me I pop style for 30 hours, then let him repeat Now, you popping up with the jokes, I'm dead, I'm asleep I just left from over by y'all putting pen to the sheets Tired of sitting quiet, and helping my enemies eat Keep getting temperature checks They know that my head overheats Don't know why the fuck you niggas listen to Denim or Steve Must've had your Infrared wrong, now your head on the beam Ya'll are the spitting image of whatever jealousy breeds Don’t push me when I’m in album mode You not even top 5 as far as your label talent goes You send shots, well, I got to challenge those But I bring Calicos to the Alamo I could never have a Virgil in my circle and hold him back 'cause he makes me nervous I wanna see my brothers flourish to their higher purpose You niggas leeches and serpents I think it's good that now the teachers are learning, yeah Your brother said, it was your cousin then him, then you So, you don't rap what you did, you just rap what you knew Don't be ashamed, it's plenty niggas that do what you do There's no malice in your heart, you're an approachable dude Man, you might've sold the college kids for Nikes and Mercedes But, you act like you sold drugs for Escobar in the 80's I had a microphone of yours, but then the signature faded I think that pretty much resembles what's been happening lately Please believe your demise will be televised, yeah And as for Q, man I changed his life a couple times Nigga was at Kroger working double time Ya'll acting like he made the boy when I was trying to help the guy Yeah, who gassed you to play with me? Man, you made this shit easy as ABCs Whoever supposedly making me hits, but then got no hits sound like they need me My hooks did it, my lyrics did it, my spirit did it I'm fearless with it, yeah I really shouldn't have given you none of my time 'Cause you older than the nigga you running behind Look, holla at me when you multi-million I told you keep playing with my name and I'ma let it ring on you Like Virginia Williams I'm too resilient, get out your feelings It's gonna be a cruel summer for you I told Weezy and Baby "I'ma done him for you" Tell 'Ye we got a invoice coming to you Considering that we just sold another 20 for you

[aintshitbiz]

Jashi Bands Exclusive 1 on 1 w/ BreezySays | @jashitheyetti

Jashi Bands is just your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican rapper from the Bronx. His music mostly touches on mental health including his own and those around him. He failed out of college senior year and moved back home to find what he wanted to do with his life.

Welcome to Mollie's World (The Breezy Says Hot Seat), Jashi Bands

BS: What’s your name and tell us a little bit about yourself. JB: My name is Joshua Toledo. Just your friendly neighborhood Puerto Rican from Bronx, NY born and raised. I’m a big big nerd when it comes to anime, comics and other cartoons. Raised by my mom, grandmother and step dad. I have two little sisters. BS: Where are you from? And what affect does that have on your music? JB: I’m from NYC which is a huge influence on my writing style, my motivation for the music, the type of sound my music has and the experiences I choose write about. BS: What was highest and lowest point in your career? JB: I don’t have either of those yet since I’m still building the foundation for everything. The journey feels like climbing a mountain at this point. Every new accomplishment, such as a music video, new merch product, and song everyone loves is another ledge for me to grab onto to climb. BS: How do you separate your personal life from your music life and how does how does the music industry affect your personal life? JB: Right now in my career the two go hand in hand. I’m a newer act so it’s my responsibility to create content to engage with fans and make them feel like they’re a part of the process. So they will want to see me in the studio, at the concert, and/or giving my opinion on something. Since I’m an independent and building my fanbase, the only thing I can say about the music industry is that it’s definitely weird for someone like me, whose a private person around strangers, to be sharing all this personal content that isn’t the music. I find trouble crossing the line between keeping things private and putting on IG live for all to see. These are weird times. BS: What project/track means the most to and which project/track are you proudest of? JB: I think it changes with every song I make. Some tracks I really love but I know the public won’t ever hear. So I may love it but it’s not something I can put out and say “Yeah I put my all into that track. I’m proud of the way it came out.” A lot of people like "Smile" off my first mixtape and I have some tracks in the truck for my upcoming album. BS: Let's talk about your latest record/visual " If You Disagree" BLM...what made you take a stand and show your support? JB: The answer is simple, I have empathy for my people. Anyone with any resemblance of empathy and a brain can see the racial tension and injustice built up over YEARS. I was in 2nd grade when Sean Bell was shot 51 one times. The newspaper was taped up to our closets and I remember thinking, “that’s a lot of bullets for someone on his way to his wedding.” I was six. A big problem with today is the numbness we as a collective in this country choose to take part when racial or socioeconomic injustice occurs. Most of us continue with our day with “thoughts and prayers”. We go to work, take care of our kids, hang out with friends etc. We talk about these incidents, debate even, but until recently, not much radical action was being taken and this isn't to put blame on anyone (except capitalism.) I decided to write “If You Disagree” because an anger would build inside of me when I would debate with an ignorant individual about the BLM matters. Because anger built inside of me from seeing the actions of policemen/women against my people. Tear gas, beating people senseless on camera and even the saboteurs who loot to give the protestors a bad name. It also inspired me to see BS: There is a general consensus that Latinos don't support the Black struggle, where do you think that comes from? JB: To be honest, I think it goes both ways. Both the Latino and Black communities seek support from each other because we all have Black blood in our veins and racists see us the same anyway. The disconnect happens when ignorant Latino’s, for lack of a better term, act up. Some Latino’s believe they aren’t black and then carry that ignorance with pride. In my opinion those ignorant Latino’s are few and far between. Every Hispanic friend or family member I know supports the movement and acknowledges the black struggle. However, there Latino’s that feel the Black community doesn’t reciprocate support we give them in times like these. There was no rioting or protestors for the Hispanic kids ICE detention. There’s no protests for the kids that went missing under ICE custody. I’ve had Latino friends and family members express that when something like a George Floyd or Trayvon Martin happens, the Latino community is right there to back them up; however when something tragic is happening/happens to us there's mass tweets about it, but there’s no protests etc. You also have to take into account that the Hispanics who aren’t born here or didn’t go to school in America aren’t taught about the Black plight in their schools, so they might be ignorant to it when they move over here.

LET'S PAUSE AND CHECKOUT "If You Disagree" [BLM]

BACK TO THE HOT SEAT

BS: What type of feedback have you been getting since the release of this project? JB: A lot of people loved it. They loved the message and the visuals from the protests. Several of my friends who went to the protests and dealt with being maced and tear gassed all loved the song. BS: How do you plan to keep supporting the movement? JB: Keep signing petitions and donating to bail out those who’ve been arrested at protests. I would go to the protests myself but if I catch covid and bring it home, my family might NOT be able to fight it and I can’t take that risk. BS: What is the hardest part of the music industry? JB: Getting into it. It’s definitely a grind as an unsigned talent who’s trying to make their own way in the game. You have to find your sound, build your fan base, learn new flows, pay for studio time, pay for videos, and pay for promotion etc. All while trying to live your normal life. As a creative in general it always feels like you’re balancing plates on sticks, like in the cartoons. BS: What are your thoughts on how the rap game has changed? JB: A lot of it has changed for the good because now there's more money in it, it’s easier to put music out, and a lot easier to build your fan base thanks to social media etc. Unfortunately, those same reasons changed the game for the worse. Since it’s so easy to start a music career, there is a plethora of artists who sound the same, and don’t really do it for the love of the process or the game. Since there is more money involved it brings anyone and everyone with a mic and auto tune. The Music Industry is just one of those situations where you have to take the good with the bad. BS: Who or what has the biggest impact on your career? JB: I would say my best friend who I grew up with since Kindergarten and my late grandmother. He’s my biggest supporter and critic. If my music doesn’t impress him then I have to go back to the lab. My grandmother was a such pillar of support, love and strength and when she passed my heart broke in 100 ways. All that pain is channeled into my lyrics. BS: What can we look forward to seeing in the future from you? JB: I am working on an album with no title as of right now. I’m also working on new merchandise ideas and clothing to put out. To stay tuned follow me on all my socials.

Connect with Jashi Bands

Youtube | Instagram | Twitter | Soundcloud | Facebook

[summerrrluvvv]

Chapter 3

Music featured in this chapters: 

Cranes in the sky by Solange

Crew by Gold Like ft Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy

Yesirrrskii by Lil Uzi Vert ft 21 Savage

Act Up by City Girlz

Cash Shit by Meg Thee Stallion

Miami: Day 2

Ariana:

“Uhhhhhhh what the fuck” I groaned waking up. I had a huge headache and my stomach was on fleek. I still had on my fit from the night before, my damn wig was barely hanging on. “Bro what the fuck man” I said taking off my wig. I got up and got undressed and into the shower, which did not last long because I needed some medicine ASAP. “Rise and Grind girls” Melody came in happily. “Mel why did you not help me out my clothes?” I asked her. “Uh we all passed out in here. I got up in got in my bed and i guess we all just took showers” She said drinking out of a coffee mug. “What is that?” I asked. “Hangover Tea, Tye made” She said. I laid back down. “Tell Tye Tye to bring me up some” I told her. “Ari you can’t sleep in all day today is the yacht party” Mel said. I almost threw up thinking about being seasick and hungover. “When can we rest?” I asked. Melody looked at me crazy. “Miami never sleeps, shake that hangover off so we can drink again” She said. “Ima go get your tea” She told me closing my door. I sighed at the idea of getting fucked up again. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. “I want you so bad” I see. I had remembered that Marlon crazy ass messaged me last night. Tye came walking in with my mug. Melody was right behind her. “Okay now that we all in here except Zion ass, we need rules” She said. Melody groaned. “Boring” She said smiling as Tye playfully pushed her. “Aight so, basically rule #1 is always always get lit, #2 is never worry about yo girls get the Dick sis but send us your location so if shit go down you know #3 No sad girl shit, no mopping #4 if bitches try us they try us all and that’s the rules I love you hoes” She said laughing. “Not the ditch your friends for the D” I said laughing. “Well Zion completed #2, and I’m get on her ass too. Saying this trip all about my girl’s face ass” Tye said. “Yall um I think I seen Isaac last night” Melody said. “And I oop” Tye responded. “Are you sure we were drunk as fuck” I said to her. She nodded. “I know what Isaac looks like and his friends you know Freddie and Trey” She said. I nodded, “Well don’t let that ruin your trip fuck Isaac” I said. “She going to fuck Isaac alright” Tye said smirking. “Nooo Im not” Mel said. “Ima get me a new boo”. I clapped for her. “You see that, growth” I said imitating Kelly from insecure. Tye looked at me as Melody walked out. “She happy as fuck on the inside” I started laughing. “Shut up!”.

 After our little house meeting. I decided to take a run in our Airbnb subdivision. I always ran to clear my head especially after a hangover, Thank God Tye got me that tea. I took a break, caught my breath, and took a sip of my water. I see a Convertible pull up near me, and the top lifted off, revealing some sexy light skin guy. He started talking to me, but I had my headphones in listening to “Cranes In The Sky” by Solange. I took my earphones out. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you” I said smiling. He laughed a little. “I was saying damn it rare we see such beauty in this area, normally got to wait till you hit the beach” He said. I rolled my eyes playfully. “Uh boy” I said. He smiled at me. “I’m Anthony” He said. His voice was so whew lord. “Ariana” I said. “Call I call you Ari or RiRi for short?” He asked. I shook my head. “Nigga I don’t know you like that” I told him placing my hand on my hip. He laughed. “Feisty little thing, aight I dig it. Hopefully, I see you around, Ri” He winked at me before pulling off. I cheesed all the way to house cause that man was an Angel. “Girls, Ladies, Bitches I seen a fine ass man on my run. I’m talking GQ fine” I said blushing. Melody and Tye came out they room and looked over the staircase balcony we had in the house. “And?” Tye said. “His name is Anthony and he stays over here I guess; He has a nice ass car and he called me Ri” I said cheesing. They just looked at me. “Number?” Melody asked. I bit my lip and shook my head. “He just said, see you around Ri” I said smiling. Melody and Tye laughed. “Well at least it aint that nigga Marlon” Tye said. “We gone go to every door and find him” Mel said. I started laughing. “Ima get me some Anthony” I said. “You better” Tye said. I could not stop squealing about that man.

  Zion:

I woke up to sun beaming bright as fuck in my eyes. I put my hand up to block the sun. I turned over to see I was in bed with Kyrel from last night. I palmed my face. I got up and grabbed my shit. He rolled over and looked at me. “Good morning Beautiful” He said. Normally I would cringe at any nigga telling me that, but it made me slightly smile. “Hey, I’m sorry. Last night shouldn’t have happened” He said. I looked at him. “Yeah, I didn’t want you to feel like it was a one-night stand. I really dig you and I want to see you again if that’s okay” He said to me. I nodded. “I would like that” I simply said smiling. Normally my ass would say something smart, but his energy was different. “Let me get my ass up, so I can make sure you get home okay” He said. A man! I thought. These niggas in Atlanta do not even care if I made it home unless they thirsty as fuck. He got dressed and we got in his car. “I see money all around me, I feel like I’m the man. But I was done and out like last week tell me where have you been? You came out of hiding girl. Don’t act like I’m your man, you just a fan, don’t hold no rank” He sang along. He looked over at me smiling. “What?” He asked. I giggled. “Nothing, you just cute. I guess” I said. He put his hand up to me like a mic. “Come on sing it with me” He said. I laughed. “I see money all around me, I feel like I’m the man. But I was done and out like last week tell me where have you been? You came out of hiding girl. Don’t act like I’m your man, you just a fan, don’t hold no rank” We sang turnt in the car. “Aye see” He said. I playfully pushed him. “Got me slipping out here” I told him. He started laughing. We pulled up to my Vacay house and just sat in the car. “So, Ima take you out Wednesday if that’s okay?” He asked. I looked at him crazy “And where we are going sir?”. He smiled. “It’s a suprith” He said in a funny voice. “Aight We gone see about that” I said laughing. He leaned over and pulled my face towards his and we started kissing. His lips tasted so nice; it was about to be a Tsunami in this car. I had to go. I pulled back. “Thank you for the ride, home and to sleep” I said laughing. He smirked. “Keep your phone on you” He said. I got out the car and waived bye. I walked into the house and Ariana met me at the door. “Its 2pm Mam, where have you been young lady?” She said with her hands on her hip. “I went to see a man about a horse” I casually said. “Irrrrr ok” Ari said making a funny noise. Tye came downstairs in her swimsuit looking like a goddess. “Okay I see you” I said. She twirled around. “Inches on Inches baby”. Melody came down after her in her swimsuit. “Yeahhhh get intoooo itttttt” She said holding Patron in her hand. “Okay Ari I see you too girl” I said gassing up my girls. “Bitch go get motherfucking dressed; our ride will be here soon” Tye said. I ran upstairs got in the shower and got myself all the way together. That took almost 2hrs. “Zion! Hurry up!” Tye yelled. “Im coming!” I yelled. “Ooh Z you look good girl” I told myself. I did a little twerk, and scurried downstairs before them hoes leave me. “Dick got you taking yo time huh?” Melody said. I playfully pushed her. “Shut up, I have yall know that Kyrel is a gentleman okay, and he is fine as fuck. He laid it down good as hell, Yall I’m let him go because he gone fuck me up” I said. Ari sucked her teeth in. “You better get you that gentlemen peen” She said. I almost spit out my water. “Bitch, I almost died” I said laughing. “Shots!” Tye said. “I’m not uh uh, only a little Tye” Ari said. We all took shots before we headed into the party bus.

  Melody:

“Hit your main bitch, yessirskii, Doin' donuts in the six, yessirskii. You got engaged but she still wanna slurpskii” Lil Uzi “Yessirskii” played as we walked onto the Yacht. I never been on no Yacht before and bitch this shit was a dream come true, another lit drunk night for me Yesssiiirrr. My girls and I were twerking our ass off. “Fuck it up Tye!” We yelled as Tye twerked on the opening of the boat. “I always wanted to do that” She said taking more shots. We were eating and Ari and Tye were smoking, just enjoying the vibes. 2 hours had passed, and we had drunk 2 bottles of Patron. I felt more fucked up then I did last night. The movement of the boat was causing my world to spin, and I needed to sit the fuck down, ASAP! “You good Mel?” Tye asked high as fuck. “No girl I feel sick as fuck” I said. She took me downstairs to lay on a random ass bed. No matter how much I stayed still the rocking of the boat was making me feel nauseous. I got up to look for a bathroom. “Fuck” I said realizing this room had no bathroom. I stumbled to quickly find one before I threw up in these people’s boat. As I was moving fast but woozy, I bumped into somebody. “Sorry” I said. I felt hands around me. “Yo you good?” I heard. I looked up seeing the beautiful man, but I was so messed up I did not care. I shook my head “No” I could feel the vomit rising. I tried to get out of his way, but he was trying to check on me, and what I feared most happened. I could not hold it in, and I threw up all over him. I could not stop it just kept coming. “Bro what the fuck!” He yelled. “I’m sorry” I said faintly before I knew it my eyes got heavy and I passed out.

  Tye:

“Real ass bitch gives a fuck about a nigga big Birkin bag hold 5,6 figures stripes on my ass so he calls this pussy tiger, fucking on a scamming ass rich ass nigga. Same group of bitches aint no adding to the picture” All of us girls were screaming the lyrics at the top of or lungs. “You check on Mel?” Ari asked. I looked at her crazy and hurried downstairs, because niggas is weird. When I got down there, I seen she was wrapped in the blankets on the bed. “This your friend?” I heard behind me. I turned around to see a fine ass black man wrapped in a towel. I nodded. “Yeah she didn’t feel good, I’m sorry I will get her up” I said. He shook his head. “Nah, she good this my boat so she straight. She must be sick or something she threw up all over me bruh” He said. I guess that explains the towel. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry” I said. He laughed, “It’s cool if it was anybody else they have to get the fuck off, I had my home girl clean her up and I put her in here, so yall enjoy the party. Here is the key to this room just check on her when you need too” He told me. I smiled “Thanks”. I locked Melody in and went back upstairs to go see Samar.

 “Hey stranger” Samar said as I walked over to him DJing. “When we gone be able to kick it?” I asked. He looked at me confused. “What you mean nigga? we are kicking it now” He said I rolled my eyes. “Samar I’m talking like how we do back home we in Miami nigga lets kick shit have fun” I said. He nodded. “Aight movie night at my house, bring the liq I got the wings and the weed” He said. I smiled at that idea. “Aight cool motherfucker” I said just dancing to the music slick coming down from being lit. “Here drink this and come over here” Samar told me. I took the shot and came near his mixing station. “Okay now what?” I asked. He smiled. “You gone learn how to mix for a little minute”. I was excited, “Bitch I’m a star, I got these niggas wishing. He says he hungry this pussy the kitchen, yeah he my dog he going to sit down and listen call him a drink and he don’t get offended” He clicked on some buttons then went to his computer. He brought the mic over to me. “Say something” He smiled. “I don’t feel like yall lit enough for me, let me run that shit back!” I yelled on the mic. Samar ran it back. “Bitch I’m a star, I got these niggas wishing. He say he hungry this pussy the kitchen, yeah he my dog he going to sit down and listen call him a drink and he don’t get offended” Every female sang. I got happy as hell. For the whole party that is all we were doing, I am surprised they aint pay me the fuck. After, the boat owner helped us get Melody on the bus, and Samar pulled me to this side. “Do me a favor bro, don’t be out here wilding with these Miami cats okay?” He said to me. “Can it just be yall girls chilling and shit?” He asked. I busted out laughing. “Samar, I’m grown sir you don’t have to worry about me honey, I’m good” I said. He looked at me annoyed. “Tye, I’m trying to be like a big bro and be protective but okay city girl Tye” He said. I shrugged. “Thanks bro” I said rolling my eyes. Nigga fuck yo big brother face ass, the fuck. He hugged me and said bye to everyone on the bus. I see him go talk to some Randoms. Typical Nigga shit. I pull out my phone a text Julian.

[stephaniejuhnay]

Prince On Every Tour: Parade

Alright peoples. It’s been a little bit since the last POET post (heh, I love that the acronym for this series is a real word). I intended to watch and rate my enjoyment today, but last night I somehow ended up watching the entire show. If you happen to be one of the few who pay attention to anything I do here (and I LOVE you for it because honestly, I am a real mess), you’ll know that I also just watched the Detroit ‘86 birthday show at the Cobo Arena while physically in Detroit this past Friday. Two shows in one. With that, here we are. Our next stop(s) on the POET train:

PARADE. DETROIT/STOCKHOLM. JUNE 7/AUGUST 22, 1986. LET’S GET INTO IT.

Overview: Oh Parade Prince. Probably amongst the most infuriating iterations of our beloved Prince. He is so unapologetically arrogant and there is nothing any of us can do about it. He changed up on us in a major way after cutting the PR tour short and putting out ATWIAD so quickly afterwards. 11 months after that, this man has another album AND feature film. Visually, he has forgone the curls that are near and dear to my heart for short, slickback that I cannot argue with. And it might have left some of us confused, shocked, wondering why he would take a complete left when the PR era was still in full swing. It’s because he could. He’d made it to megastardom and afforded him the flexibility he needed to REALLY throw us for some loops. This was the time for him to push the boundaries of his creativity in his music and his visual presentation of himself without too much worry of how it would be received. He already had us, and he knew it. 

Parade Prince is that guy that knows he’s fine, that knows YOU know he’s fine, and will exploit it to no end. Because no matter how much you might protest to his face, the reality is this: the the moment he makes eye contact with you during that particularly rude rendition of Do Me, Baby, you both are fully aware that you will be patiently waiting for him in his limo at the direction of his security guard after the show. Against all better judgments. And he delights in the fact that you (try to) resist him. He loves the conquest, especially when he knows he wins. It’s fine. Let him win. Enjoy the life changing. Cherish it for the rest of your life thereafter.

ESSENTIALLY, that is what the entire Parade era is. Prince having a grand ol' time as he quite literally does whatever he wants with no regard for our sanity. Meanwhile, we just try to pick up the pieces of our life as he continues to ruin it with each new era he ushers in. He’s running around looking like a vision out of a 1940′s noir, giving us new music that is very different but oh so great, throwing hip chains into a crowd of unsuspecting onlookers after what might be the most infuriating performance of Head known to us, and we are expected to deal with it. As if Purple Rain didn’t just take place. And no matter which side of the spectrum we fell on when it came to this new era - utterly opposed or completely on board -  we were still here for it in some way, willingly or begrudgingly. Just like he knew we would.

Prince starts these shows shirtless, so you know you're in for a ride. ATWIAD is GREAT live and a great song to open up with. It set the pace for the rest of the show: fun and full of grooves. And he does not hesitate to get into them. Christopher Tracy’s Parade, New Position, I Wonder U, Raspberry Beret are all in the first 15 minutes. We get songs spanning his entire career up to that point in both shows, and he is well aware of the fact that he has HITS ya understand? 

His confidence has transformed into unabashed cockiness ( *sings* I ain’t go no money - THAT’S A LIE). It’s in the way he moves, the way he sings, the way he plays with the audience, everything. I’m frustrated just sitting here thinking about it all. And yet, here I am, unable to resist the overwhelming charm of Parade Prince. One, because his face. Two, he's earned it if we want to be 100. The boy has put in insane work, and it finally skyrocketed with PR. Now he gets to enjoy it all. He deserves to be gassed. We’ll allow it.

Boyfriend didn't get sloppy or plateau here either when he probably could have gotten away with it. A true professional, after having reached that level of stardom but deciding not to just phone it in or coast. Production value is still great, although less busy than the PR tour. No poles to slide down on, no bathtubs to take a shower of pearls in. Costumes are still great, albeit, again, not as busy as PR. Band is even tighter now with the expanded Revolution. Their sound is more dynamic with the addition of Eric "Sith" Leeds, Atlanta Bliss, and Atlanta's God-awful ponytail. He was playin' tho, so I'll relax about it. They have proven that when it came time to execute on stage, they could handle the constant changes in sound and personnel quite well. But again, testament to his leadership and dedication to excellence. 

Then there is the addition of official dancers in Jerome, Wally, and Greg. I know some may have felt "but why" about them, but man, do they add a really fun element to the show! We have full on routines now folks, and there are few things I love more than to see Prince work it out on stage in a routine. Yes, we saw some minor coordinated steps previously, but we hadn't really had routines. With these three though, we see choreo that gives the show some more life,  Prince being part of some of them (the 1999 album medley in which they did the PR balcony dance to Lady Cab Driver is A+), and even incorporating the band into them. It's a real treat. 

Favorite Number: There are a few numbers I love from this tour. Detroit clearly has some great ones. Controversy/Mutiny is ALWAYS a fave, if not for the fact that they are good songs, then for the dancing during those numbers. Head...for very obvious reasons. It is already a jam, and Prince decides he has to one up himself every time he decides to perform it live. Of the four Parade shows I’ve seen, Detroit’s Head is by far the best. Paris gets an honorable mention though because there is a breath hitch that stopped me cold in my figurative tracks. It was...so authentic. Even if it wasn’t. Life Can Be So Nice was also another jam from the Detroit show, which was a nice surprise for me because it isn’t my fave from Parade. In the end though, I can confidently say that Pop Life is my favorite number from this show. I adore the live arrangement of this song so much. And he is incredibly cute during that performance, so there’s that.  Stockholm’s lineup is very similar to this one. But instead of Mutiny (sad about it), we get 17 Days, which, surprisingly I really enjoyed. 17 Days is one of my favorite songs ever, but it’s one of the few I prefer the studio version over the live version. It’s perfect the way it is, and for some reason, to me, the live versions don’t really capture the magic of that song for me. However, this one came close. And throwing in the I Wanna Be Your Lover instrumental at the end was a nice touch. However, vocally, visually....Do Me, Baby wins. It’s a song that P can never not SANG on, so it usually wins vocally for me. But then the addition of the horns and the breakdown at the end just really pushed me over the edge. 

I would like to give a shoutout though to that 1999 album medley I mentioned earlier because it JAMMED and I might have yelled when I heard Automatic. Also Anotherloverholenyohead from this show was phenomenal and deserves to be mentioned. Lisa unleashed an insane piano solo that really showed off her skills. The girl is bad.

Favorite Outfit: While I do love Prince in a crop-top, I am a huge proponent of the suits from this era. Even the unforgivable shoulder pads aren’t enough to deter me. Something about Prince in a tie..... The yellow suit from Detroit is iconic. Period. In Stockholm we were greeted with a nice blue one. Both 100 cuts above. Honorable mention to the polka dot vest from both shows. The man looks like a 5 course meal in polka dots. 

Still Would Rating: Angrily. Begrudgingly. Without a shadow of a doubt and no hesitation, honey. 

Overall Rating: If you’re looking for something to lift your spirits and also groove extra hard to, either of these shows are what you need. His carefree spirit during them is contagious, and you can’t help but share in the joy he puts on display. He’s serving us some LOOKS, some ridiculous and quite frankly irresponsible onstage antics, and some of my favorite music from him (I adored both ATWIAD and Parade). As the creator of the gif directly above so eloquently put it: “ Yellow suit and the band were rocking. What’s not to like?” Indeed. 

PREVIOUSLY, PURPLE RAIN                                            NEXT UP, SOTT

[nananaptime]

Hi beautiful! u are my first fanfics writter, i love ur work. Now back to business, Can u write a YUTA fanfic, where he meets his childhood friend who he had a crush on since 4th grade, but at that time she moved so he couldn't confess to her but after all that time, and after NCT127 debuted, he meets her again as a professional dancer, and a choreographer for her latest comeback, and as we all know memories unite these two together in beautiful melty kiss while they were dancing ALONE.*hot plz*

Don’t forget me

Another friend requesting, let me just say, writing this brought so many different emotions

MasterlistRules

Requested

Genre: Hot with hints of angst and fluff

Word count: 2 697

Summary: After twelve years you finally meet him again….

12 years ago

The box I had been carrying that day was extremely heavy, filled to the brim with my father’s book collection. The sun had been gassing and I remember the box slowly slipping from my hands because of the sweat coating them. I would have dropped it, angering my father in that process, if not my best friend at the time had saved me, or rather the books, from dying. Nakamoto Yuta had been playing some football with his friends in the garden next to ours when he saw me struggle and, like the gentleman he was, he ran over to relieve me of the trouble.

“Hey, you have to be careful, what would we do if you hurt yourself carrying this.” I smiled at his concern while walking to the van with him taking care of the box for me. It was not until he placed the box in the van that he realised that something was happening. He turned to me, giving me a questioning look. “Why are you moving boxes?”

“Haven’t I told you? We’re moving to Hong Kong.” His face dropped within a matter of seconds. His twelve year old mind didn’t want to believe it and in all honesty, I wasn’t too thrilled about it either. “My mother got a job offer or something, I’m not sure, but in any case we have to move because of it.” Talking about it back then had made me tear up which had caused Yuta’s own tears to make an appearance and it didn’t take long before we stood in each other’s arms, crying our eyes out, sobbing.

“I don’t want you to move.” He choked out, refusing to let me go, not that I wanted to. “You can live with me, my family likes you, they won’t mind.” Even though I was tempted to actually ask I already knew that it wasn’t possible, I had to go with my own family, no matter how much it hurt. The voice of my father was what caused us to break apart.

“Yuta! You’re here to say goodbye? Don’t worry children, you can still keep in touch.” I wiped away the dried tears on my cheeks while Yuta tried not showing my dad that he had been crying, I was the only one allowed to see him cry. “Now that you’re here Yuta, do you mind helping us with the last boxes?” Yuta, happy to now have something to do, nodded and followed my father into the house. During the hour that followed the three of us moved all the other boxes from their place in the house to their place in the van, we also had to reorganize in the van in order for all the boxes to fit. The time flew by too fast for my liking and I was back in Yuta’s arms in no time, saying my goodbye. The tears were once again streaming down my cheeks as I squeezed the life out of my best friend. I heard him sniff and it caused me to cry even harder.

“Don’t forget about me, okay.” I shook my head as an answer, promising to never let him fall into oblivion. A hand was placed on my shoulder, informing me of our need to depart at that moment. Hesitantly, I pulled myself out of his embrace, wiping away the last trace of my tears and sniffed some more. I turned around, noticing that it was my mother who had pulled me out of my current sorrow. She gave me a comforting smile, silently telling me that everything will be okay, I would get through this. Then I turned towards Yuta again who looked awful because of our emotional hug.

“You’re my best friend.” I told him. “You will always be my best friend, don’t forget that.” The tears were threatening to show themselves again but I fought them of.

“Dito.” Was all I got in response which made me laugh. In all this seriousness he still knew how to be funny. “Who am I going to dance with when you’re not around?” He asked in a teasing manner as we exchanged another, much shorter hug before I jumped into the backseat of the van and closing the door. My father pressed his foot down on the gas pedal and the vehicle started moving. I waved to Yuta, who had started running beside the van, he ran and waved until he couldn’t keep up anymore, that’s when he disappeared from my sight.

I would not forget him.

We will keep in touch.

Present time

We didn’t.

That was the last day I saw Nakamoto Yuta, for twelve years. But who were we kidding, we were ten, ten year olds don’t understand the significance of friendship so they don’t make the effort, at least we didn’t.

I was now standing outside the SM Entertainment building, scared out of my mind. I’m here as a choreographer and I’m supposed to create the dance for the groups NCT’s new comeback. Never have I been interested in the newer groups within kpop which is why I had to look NCT up after accepting the job offer. Let me just say that I regretted it as soon as I did it. He may have changed a lot but it was no question; Yuta was in the group I was working with. That is the reason as to why I’m freaking out right now. I haven’t seen this kid for twelve years, will he even recognise me and if he did, will it be awkward?

After taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I entered the building and, walking up to the center desk, kept an eye out for Yuta. The worker at the desk directed me to the dance rooms on the third floor, she also handed me a USB drive which contained NCT 127’s new song Cherry Bomb, I had heard parts from it before in order to prepare at least a bit before coming here. The inside of the building was like a maze let me tell you, it took me ten minutes to find the room I was supposed to be working in. Once in there I plugged in the USB and started completing the dance. The door was opened after thirty minutes by a man whom I recognised to be NCT’s manager. I stopped the music and gave him my full attention.

“Y/N, good to see that your trip here went well.” The sound of people talking was heard from behind him. I said nothing but gave him a smile and bowed low, greeting him while doing so. “I expect you have enough figured out so that you can go through some steps.” I gave another nod. “Perfect, guys come on, behave now, okay.” I had to suppress the giggle that risked getting out.

The first one to enter was, if I recall correctly, Lee Taeyong, the leader and even though his hair now was light pink he was not difficult to recognise. Being the professional leader he is politely greeted me while trying to keep his members as calm as possible. Some of them didn’t have much problem with that, them being Taeil, Doyoung and Sicheng, while others, Donghyuk, Johnny and Mark, didn’t even know what calm meant. Taeyong sent me an apologizing look before marching over to them. The last one to enter, instantly walking in after Johnny, took my breath away as he closed the door and took in his surroundings.

Yuta had grown incredibly over the years, last time I saw him I was taller than him but it seems like the tables has turned. He also developed one hell of a jawline and a very intense dark eye colour.  I realised how much I was staring when we met eyes and immediately turned away towards the mirrors behind me which didn’t really help. The reflection of the mirror enabled us to still have eye contact and even though he kept looking at me I did not see any trace of recognition in his eyes. Eventually I ripped my gaze away and turned to the other instead.

“Okay everybody!” The clearness of my voice gained me everyone’s attention. “I’m Y/N L/N and I’m the choreographer for this song.” The group gathered and organized themselves before doing their signature greeting. “I have looked through your previous songs and dances in order to get the kind of feel you usually go for and I have been able to create something out of it. So, shall we get started?” Without waiting for a response I started playing the music. My plan was for everyone to learn the general dance before putting them into any kind of formation.

They were learning surprisingly quickly, which I did not expect considering the level of difficulty this dance had. Taeyong and Yuta were especially fast and soon they were both helping other members with steps they were struggling with. It made me smile, Yuta had found people he could call his family. Even though I was happy for him and his success I could not help but feel like I had been replaced in some kind of way. Pushing that thought to the back of my mind I stopped the music and told everyone to take a break. Walking over to my own water bottle and taking some sips someone decided to keep me company.

“I’m sorry for all of them, they run on a lot of energy.” I smiled at Jaehyun as he sat down beside me, water bottle in hand. “Especially Mark and Donghyuk, Donghyuk has a thing for teasing his hyung a lot. “ I laughed at that.

“That’s fine, I like the energy, it keeps things interesting.” He acknowledged my statement by nodding and then drinking some water. “Some of surprised me with your level of dancing, especially Yuta and….”

“Oh, someone has a thing for Yuta, I see.” Without my control, my cheeks heated up and I looked at him like he was crazy. He looked at me with a smirk. “It’s fine, some people just have an easy time settling for biases.” His smirk grew. I tried defending myself but he only winked at me, stood up and walked away. What was that about. I noted that Jaehyun walked over to Yuta, who then laughed at what he said. Why did I have a feeling they were talking about me?

After about ten minutes I gathered everyone again in order to continue the dance and showing them some of the other dance steps. We continued practice until eleven pm, at that time it was evident that everyone was tired and I was not about to overwork these boys so I sent them on their way. We bid our goodbyes and I told them that I’d see them tomorrow. Then I packed up my stuff and headed to the nearby hotel at which I was staying.

The following morning I arrived at the dance room one and a half hour before the boys were supposed to be there with the solemn intention of getting some new moves together for the dance. However, it didn’t take long before someone else entered the room in the middle of my dancing. Surprised, I turned around to be met by the familiar face of Yuta.

“Hi. I didn’t think you’d be here this early.” He said as he put down his training bag.

“I could say the same to you. What are you doing here?”

“I thought I should get some extra practice so I could impress the new choreographer.” I raised my eyebrows at his flirty comment and he just smirked at me, again. “I got a little worried when Jaehyun approached you yesterday but I realised that it probably was fine, you always liked the sporty kind anyways.” The smirk grew, if possible, even bigger at my shocked expression. So he did remember me after all. “How have you been Pumpkin.” I laughed at the old nickname he had for me and when he opened his arms as an invitation and threw myself at him, happy to have my best friend back.  We stood there for a while, just relishing in each other’s presence.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.” I said when we pulled away, my face hurting because of my big smile.

“Of course I remembered you, we promised not to forget each other, remember.” He ruffled my hair making me smack his hand away. He, being the overly dramatic person he is, grabbed his hand as if I amputated it.

“Ah, still so sensitive about your hair.” I poked my tongue out at him making him laugh at me.

“Anyways, I’m here to do my job, so if you’ll excuse me Mr Yuta, I’ll continue with choreo.” I turned around towards the stereo and crouched down beside it, about to turn on the music once again. Yuta’s presence behind me was what stopped me, his breath on my ear what was stopped my breathing. He leaned forwards and plugged out the USB, replacing it with his own phone.

“How about…” He whispered in my ear, his lips slightly brushing it. “…. we dance, just like old times?” He put on a song and grabbed my hand. I let him pull me to the middle of the dance floor where he then started guiding me around the room, following the slow beat of the song.

“I was really surprised to see you made it in the korean music industry.” I said, trying to catch up with him a bit.

“What, you thought I wasn’t talented enough?” He dipped me down while teasing me. I rolled my eyes at him, but let him continue dancing with me nonetheless. “What have you been up to though? I see you’ve come a far way within dancing.” He spinned me.

“Oh I’ve been a bit everywhere, some places in Europe, America and Asia, just making a career for myself.” Yuta was visibly impressed. Then the smirk was back.

“Now I see what everyone was talking about when we were kids.” He noticed my confused expression and continued. “Of course everyone wanted us to be together, we’d be a power couple.” I looked at him as he said this, almost in trance thanks to his features. He noticed my stare and locked eyes with me, observing me quietly, just like I did with him.

We had slowed to a stop in front of the mirrors, either of us being able to tear our gazes apart. Eventually, his gaze trailed down to my lips where they stayed for a couple of seconds before he finally made up his mind and carefully pressed his lips against mine and then they were gone, lingering in front of my own. He was waiting, ready to pull away in case I didn’t want to. Finally, I got enough of his waiting so I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in once again, pressing my lips against his in a rougher kiss than before. Our lips moved in sync, almost like they were made for each other. As the kiss got more intense he pushed against the cold surface of the mirrors before patting me on my thighs, signalling that I should jump which I did. My legs wrapped around his waist as his hands found my butt, giving it a light squeeze, which I giggled at. My giggle caused our lips to break apart but the little shit instantly trapped my lower lip in between his teeth making my breath hitch. We stared at each other for a bit, communicating through our eyes. I leaned towards him again, slowly placing my lips back on his more softly. He put me down and rubbed my sides in a soothing manner and soon enough we came to a stop and for a while we said nothing.

“You know the people shipping us when we were kids?” I nodded. “They were right.” The he pressed another kiss on my lips before the door burst open and the rest of the boys entered.