#to his utter detriment and tragedy that's what he tries to do

[heartofstanding]

*brings unholy amounts of popcorn* please tell me your thoughts on Henry's relationship with fatherhood

I feel the need to preface this with a disclaimer that this isn't a historical argument about the real Henry and this isn't about the Shakespearean Henry. It's my thoughts around the Henry I've constructed, my fictional Henry. IMHO, I think it fits with the evidence we have but the evidence is so limited you could do a thousand different things with it and still be "historically accurate".

Secondly, i HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS!

I literally wrote a thousand words and started over because it was too focused on Henry's relationship with Hal and I guess it's one of Henry's most important relationships as a father, if not the most important, but also it's far from the only relationship Henry has. So if you want more thoughts on anything, hit me up.

OK, SO.

Henry is a bad father. I think he damages his sons more than his daughters but that's largely because Blanche and Philippa leave England and leave him as preteens, the boys had to live with him until his death. I think Henry emotionally abuses Hal. I don't think he does it from a place of intentional cruelty but that he parents in much the same way that he was parented. I think the utter tragedy of his life is that he genuinely doesn't realise what he's doing to Hal and when he does realise there might be something horrifically wrong with his relationship with Hal (i.e. the dagger incident) he's too old and too sick and too beholden to his allies/favourites to do anything about it.

I don't think Henry is a two-dimensional, utterly unsympathetic villain who conforms to all the comfort stereotypes about abusers and bad parents. Of course, that doesn't make what he does okay.

I debated with myself whether Henry sees his sons as objects or subjects. I think he sees them as primarily extensions of himself, not necessarily people in their own right (especially true in Hal's case), but doesn't really understand why they don't act in ways he thinks they should. In the end, I decided he sees them as disobedient objects.

Humphrey is the baby of the family and is treated as such. Henry infantilises him in his refusal to give Humphrey any responsibilities and titles that would allow him to build up his own affinity or give him the same kind of apprenticeship in leadership, diplomacy and arms that his brothers got. Humphrey is spoilt - he gets everything he wants except his independence - and kept dependent on Henry. But he also doesn't see enough of Henry to benefit from seeing Henry handling the business of kingship.

John is the classic middle child. He's overlooked, overworked and underappreciated. He has the same responsibilities as his older brothers, complete with the same problems, but without the benefits of rank (he doesn't become a duke until Henry dies) or much thanks. Henry's primary interest in John is the ways he can be of use to Henry rather than as an individual - the idea of John as a person, rather than an extension of Henry, is pretty strange to Henry. While they have a pretty bad relationship, John probably escapes with the least amount of harm because of this lack of scrutiny. He's able to have a life for himself away from Henry. He isn't kept dependent like Humphrey, he isn't spoilt like Thomas and he isn't subject to Henry's hyper-criticisms like Hal.

Thomas is the favourite. Henry has nearly always seen Thomas as the person Henry wished he was. Thomas is brave, fearless and brash, utterly confident in himself - everything that Henry wishes he was. Whereas Mary tried to temper Thomas's recklessness, Henry encouraged it to Thomas's detriment. Henry has Thomas raised to embody and favour the ideals of chivalry but, at the same time, spoils him - neither John nor Hal would ever get away with abandoning their post like Thomas does. This favouritism doesn't mean Henry goes along with everything Thomas wants: when Thomas disagrees with Henry, he's dismissed and viewed suspiciously. More particularly, Henry raises Thomas as the favoured child that Hal is constantly compared to and found lacking. He constantly pits Thomas against Hal, forcing them into a rivalry that damages their relationship and also damages the both of them.

Hal is the heir. To Henry, he is the most literal, most real extension of himself because Hal has his name and will, god willing, succeed him (whether we're talking succeeding to the dukedom of Lancaster or succeeding to the throne of England) and continue the dynasty, hopefully improving it but at the very least maintaining it. So Hal carries the weight of expectations and the locus of his anxieties. He's the most disobedient of Henry's disobedient objects. Firstly, because nothing he could do or be would ever allow him to measure up to Henry's standards because Henry's standards are always shifting and changing. I kinda gestured at this in Henry's POV of the dagger incident: Henry hated Hal's childhood shyness and now he hates Hal's adult confidence and wishes Hal was back to being meek and shy. Secondly, because, as an adult, Hal has developed a will and sense of identity that isn't easily denied by Henry. Hal bears the brunt of Henry's focus and the one that's criticised the most, at times bullied and humiliated by Henry in the guise of "bettering" him.

These roles aren't static. If Hal died, Henry would start reassessing Thomas - he wouldn't be as critical of him as he is of Hal, but there would be a sense that Thomas needs correction. If Thomas started going against Henry, Henry would start putting John in opposition to Thomas (whether or not he'd be successful would probably depend on how much John wants Henry's attention and approval and who John feels the most loyalty towards). If John proved difficult to manage, Henry would move onto Humphrey. If Hal could be made to step into a more subservient position, Henry might even side with Hal against a rebellious Thomas.

Henry's disinterest in his younger sons' lives should not be confused with tacit approval. They get away with a lot more than both Hal and Thomas because they're not subject to Henry's scrutiny to the same degree but if Henry heard about some misbehaviour of theirs, there would be hell to pay.

-

Henry parents in much the same way that he was parented and his relationship with Hal is a mirror to his relationship with his father.

I think the first eighteen months or so of Henry's life were pretty good. Both John of Gaunt and Blanche of Lancaster had their own issues with parenthood but they were decent parents. Then, Blanche died and in his grief, Gaunt became cold, distant and severe. He was a demanding father whose interactions with his children were marked by his disapproval and criticism. Gaunt was like that with all his children (except the Beauforts - maybe) but Henry was constantly told that he'd be the ruin of their house, that he would fail to live up to Gaunt's hopes and standards, that the values that were so well embodied by Henry's grandfather, Henry of Grosmont, would be lost. So Henry grew up believing that there was something gravely wrong with him, that he was a constant disappointment to his father, that he would ruin his dynasty, and that love was always conditional. Most of these he passed onto Hal. His idea of what it meant to be a father was to to criticise and try to "fix" the faults in one's children. These are the lessons he enacts when it comes to Hal.

-

Mary was the one person who Henry believed loved him unconditionally when they were growing up. Henry believed that children come out the womb loving their parents unconditionally. He gets jealous of Mary for the ready love their children show her. He gets jealous of their children because they're loved by Mary. He doesn't say anything but he believes Mary loves him less than she loves their children. He carries that silent resentment with him long after her death.

-

I'm trying not retread the fics I wrote about Hal's birth and the sequel about Thomas's birth too much. While there are things I would change about them now, the basic premise would remain the same and the issues these fics raise about Hal's birth and infancy add onto Henry's issues with fatherhood in general. Henry has an idealistic, almost utopian view of what life would look like with Mary as his wife. They have made a child and the child would love him just as unconditionally as Mary does and they would make their own little world together. It's not a coincidence that these dreams occur around the same time as Gaunt's departure for Castile.

Then, Hal comes early and Henry's idealistic view is shattered by the reality. There's also anxieties around Hal being a small, slightly premature baby that Henry catastrophizes about

Henry also, subconsciously, sees Hal being sickly baby as something he is responsible for. IIRC, there's a medieval medical belief that it's the father whose "matter" shapes the baby the most so from a medical perspective, Hal's frailty is the result of Henry's own frailty. There is also the idea that, like, as Henry's heir, Hal will be one day be Henry. That Hal is Henry's legacy to his dynasty. For a guy with a lot of self-loathing and feeling he'll never live up to his father's ideals, Hal is a reflection of everything he hates about himself and another reason while his father will be disappointed in him. All of this could have probably been summed up as "Henry has post-partum depression and anxiety which fed and was fed by his self-loathing" but then, no one should ever expect me to be succinct.

Whenever there's a suggestion of Hal being weak, Henry retreats and worries. So he doesn't bond with Hal and Hal just gives back what Henry gives him, which Henry then takes personally. He has a very set idea of how his son should be acting towards and Hal is failing that standard. He's not reacting with joy when Henry makes an approach, he's cautious, almost scared, and Henry takes it as a rejection and a failure.

Thomas is a much easier baby because Mary's labour and the birth occur when Henry's away, and because he's a full-term baby. His birth also coincides with Henry finally starting to bond with Hal. Things start to look good. John is born a couple of years later. Then, John of Gaunt comes home.

-

Henry genuinely sees himself trying to protect Hal from Gaunt. He figures that since Gaunt is likely to judge Hal the same way as he judged Henry, he's going to try and spare Hal that. His solution? Why, he's going to make sure Gaunt has nothing to criticise. So he picks incessantly on Hal's behaviour in order to make him "perfect". In other words, in trying to spare Hal Gaunt's disapproval and torment, he does to Hal exactly what Gaunt did to him.

I think one of the reasons Hal is able to have more... functional relationships than Henry is because he has Mary as a source of unconditional love for the first seven years of his life. I think it also helps that he is able to form tight bonds with his brothers (given how gender-segregated medieval society was and the age differences between them, I suspect that neither Henry nor Hal had particularly close relationships with their sisters). I think Hal did have a series of father figures - Peter Melbourne, Richard II, Hotspur, Oldcastle - that also helped. I think that talking to Richard Courtenay, another a member of Children of Shitty Dads Society, also helped.

I don't mean this is in the sense that "Hal had it better, Henry had it worse" - that sort of line of thinking just gets us to the stage of negating trauma because "someone has it worse". And there are ways in which I think the opposite was true - Hal feels, very keenly, the difference between how his father treats him versus his other siblings, especially Thomas, whereas Henry knew Gaunt treated everyone the same way he treated Henry (it didn't make it any easier of course). I think Gaunt was, financially, more indulgent than Henry was but that isn't necessarily Henry's fault.

-

I feel like I should talk about Henry's relationship with his daughters and the truth is I just don't know. I can see an argument that Henry's awkward hang-ups around his masculinity meant that he was a better father to his daughters than he was to his sons. The evidence of his relationship with Blanche and Philippa is so limited that it's difficult to come to a conclusion but the vibe I get from that evidence doesn't really support the idea that Henry was really involved with his daughters.

I know I said I wasn't going to make a historical argument but I feel like I have to talk about the historical evidence here.

Blanche and Philippa appear to have been well-educated but not exceptionally so. As Kim Phillips points out, they were the youngest medieval English princesses to be married off (Blanche, at 10, was the youngest and the only princess to marry below canonical age). Phillips says their youth was due to Henry needing to shore up his precarious position as king. But it meant that Henry never saw them again. The letter he wrote when Blanche died is fairly generic in what it says and the one letter I've seen that he wrote to Philippa is diplomatic and impersonal.

It's not enough to put together a picture from. The impersonal, generic letter of condolence might hide his real grief at her death rather than revealing his true feelings. The diplomatic letters are diplomatic - I don't expect the letter Philippa wrote to Hal would be personal, either. While Blanche and Philippa's ages at their marriages were young, they were older than Isabelle de Valois and unremarkable in comparison to the wider English aristocracy.

I don't think Henry was the sort of cliched "daughters are pawns for marriage alliances" medieval dad. But at the same time, the vibe I get from this limited evidence is similar to how he treats his sons. Whatever he thinks of his children, he always seems to put them to use in ways that serve his needs and desires but is not necessarily conducive to their wellbeing. I doubt he really intended or believed Blanche would be at risk but she was.

-

Henry doesn't know that Hal is queer - I think he probably senses there's something about Hal that's like Richard but he doesn't actually know (at least, not in the canon period - a modern AU would be different). But it's something that's another division between them because Henry is quite homophobic and it's another reminder of Richard.

Hal reminds Henry of Richard and Mary and Henry hates and loves it because these are people he loved returned again in his son. But he hates Richard too and Hal reminds him of the things he hated about Richard. And Hal isn't Mary nor is he Richard but an imperfect copy of them.

At least, that's what he's like to Henry. In reality, Hal is Hal.

-

If Henry ever got to the stage where he could understand what he did to Hal, if he could ever name it as emotional abuse, he would be horrified.

(I don't think he would ever come to that understanding in canon period. He would only have that realisation in a verse where Mary lived and after he went to therapy. I don't mean that Joan of Navarre would excuse or enable or ignore what Henry di) but that he wouldn't be receptive to her. He would shut down any gentle or not so gentle criticism of his parenting, telling Joan that she's not Hal's mother, that she hardly knows him and she can't tell him what to do with his son. He does a similar thing to Mary when she calls him out on it in the fic about Humphrey's birth. Which is why I say he needs Mary and therapy. He needs enough therapy that he'd be receptive to hearing that from Mary.)

He'd be horrified not just because of what he's done to Hal but because it meant he was abused by his father.

[katavicbun]

As promised (actually I don’t think I promised it but whatev) here is the girl talk snippet from “It’s Not Over. We’re Not Done.” chapter 15. If you haven’t read it ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798473/chapters/70625382 plu plug plug) then you’ll be confused, but like... if you want contextless post-DR3 “Nagito has friends” fluff, who am I to stop you?

Back in the Jabberwock killing game, Nagito almost enjoyed the motives that they were given. As soon as the 77th class had been thrown into the thick of it, Nagito had been beside himself with anticipation at seeing brilliant Ultimate hope persevere against the depths of tragedy. But he didn’t think he’d be happy about a new killing motive again. 

Granted, the reason was much less nefarious this time around. 

The First Blood Perk: there would be no trial or punishment for the first blackened. They would be free; or whatever that meant in the context of the simulation.

Nagito was looking forward to telling Hajime the relatively good news, but once his game-watching shift was over, it looked like Kazuichi had beaten him to it. 

From what Nagito could hear at a distance, it sounded like Kazuichi was putting a bit too much emphasis on how “Kokichi is being an absolute dick to Kiibo”, but the tension in Hajime’s expression lessened with the actually-important news. 

Even when Kazuichi left, Nagito stayed where he was, indecisively shifting from foot to foot. Hajime hadn’t reacted well at all when the two’s relationship had been outed the day prior. He was slowly warming up to showing casual affection when they were alone, but when others could see them…

Hajime finally noticed Nagito fidgeting on the other side of the hall, his face softening further, a small but genuine smile gracing his face. The sight went straight to Nagito’s heart, speeding it up to double-time.

He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten this lucky. 

But before either could call out a greeting, two hands slapped over Nagito’s eyes as someone leaped onto his back. 

“Ah?” Nagito said in subdued alarm. 

“Nagichan spotted! Deploy, deploy!” Presumably Ibuki screeched in his ear, as he bent under her weight. 

“Oh, wonderful! I was worried we would not be able to meet today,” Sonia chirped, somewhere to Nagito’s left. When Ibuki slid off and he regained his sight, Nagito saw the two, plus Komaru, beaming at him expectantly. 

“Do you… need something…?” Nagito blanked. 

“Uh, yeah!” Komaru exclaimed, as if he were missing something very, very obvious. “We haven’t talked about-“

She cut herself off when she spotted Hajime in earshot, looking as baffled as Nagito felt. 

“Ha! Ha! Hajiman!” Ibuki hooted, “Nagi is needed in another castle!”

She and Komaru grabbed both of Nagito’s arms and tugged him back in the direction he’d come from. 

Murder, maybe? No, probably not. 

Sonia smiled brightly and gave a brisk wave to Hajime. “Do not worry! We shall return him to you soon!”

Komaru and Ibuki giggled madly at her word choice as they dragged Nagito away. He wasn’t positive, but he was pretty sure Hajime’s face began turning a concerning shade of white. 

Komaru threw the door open when they reached her and Toko’s room. The three girls filed in without hesitation, but Nagito stopped at the doorway. Wasn’t it inappropriate for a man to enter a girl’s room? It wasn’t like he had ever done that before. Nor had he ever wanted to. However, the protest never had the chance to leave his mouth before he was pulled in, too, the door slamming behind him. 

It came as no surprise that Toko was already inside, curled up under the covers. She seldom moved ever since they were locked inside the hotel, still wracked with guilt and self-horror from what she had done to save Komaru from Tsumugi’s crowd. From who she had let Genocide Jack kill. 

“Hello, Toko,” Nagito said quietly. “Is Nami bothering you?”

Toko made a small noise of negation. 

The only parts of her that Nagito could see was the tangled purple mess of hair sprawled across the pillow, and her hand, absently petting his dog lying beside her. Evidently, at some point during the past two hours or so, Nami had slipped inside, like the spoiled pet she was. 

“Tell us everything!” Komaru urged excitedly, jumping onto the mattress to sit with her girlfriend. Sonia knelt delicately on the floor on Toko’s other side, and Ibuki flopped down next, yanking a very confused Nagito with her.

“Everything...? Komaru, we were on the same shift,” Nagito reminded her.

“Huh? No, not about the…” Komaru trailed off. It seemed like their merry group of twenty-three was split down the middle when it came to how to deal with their situation. Hajime couldn’t stop talking about it, but Komaru was trying very hard to talk about literally anything else.

Ibuki interrupted. “So are you and Hajiman, like, ooey-gooey lovey-dovey, or are you…” She made a variety of random sound effects that Nagito was afraid to interpret.

Sonia and Komaru were leaning forward with sparkling eyes and wide grins.

Ah.

“I… um,” Nagito stuttered, completely unsure of how to answer. The room suddenly felt very warm. And small. “Not… Not the second one. I think.”

“Ooey-gooey boyfriends!” Ibuki squished his cheeks as Komaru and Sonia shot him with rapid-fire questions.

“When!?”

“Where?”

“Who confessed!?”

“Oh! Have you kissed?”

Nagito managed to pry Ibuki away from his face. She bounced away, unbothered. “A week ago, in the hotel hallway, it… depends, and…” Nagito stopped. What was he even allowed to disclose? So much of this was uncharted territory; he still wasn’t used to having friends in the first place. He still wasn’t used to even calling them friends, despite them insisting it was so.

“He’s blushing! They totally have!” Komaru accused proudly.

“My goodness, the both of you must be so sweet!” Sonia clasped her hands together under her chin. “What did you talk about?”

Nagito had replayed the moment an inappropriate amount of times in his own head; maybe it would be nice to talk about it out loud. And they were asking. “Hmm… Hajime said he loved me, and let me kiss him.”

The three girls had frozen smiles on their faces, like they were expecting more.

Ibuki blinked. “Ah… aww?” 

“I’m sorry. Was that too much?” Nagito frowned. He was trying to get better at determining when he had been talking for too long.

“D-details…” Toko mumbled. So she was listening. 

“It… was nice…?” Nagito ventured.

“What did you talk about?” Komaru prompted. Sonia and Ibuki nodded.

Oh. Just a little more, then. “I told him that I fell in love with the Hajime inside Izuru and the Izuru inside Hajime. Then he requested that I stop saying things like that if I continued rejecting his advances. I reminded him that it was for his own wellbeing, and he told me that for whatever reason, he believed that I wasn’t an utter detriment to his quality of life. He even said he was sad when I died!” Nagito closed his eyes dreamily at the memory. “He said many kind things, and allowed me to kiss him. He smiled!”

The girls looked considerably less excited.

“I… I am… more confused, somehow.” Sonia cocked her head, her eyebrows upturned.

“Wait, hold on, did Hajime say he loved you before?” Komaru asked. “When you were in Towa with us, you said it was one-sided.”

“L-lying…” Toko muttered.

“No, not on purpose!” Nagito quickly clarified. He tried not to lie when he could. “Hajime also said it on the boat ride back to Jabberwock, after we escaped Aozora.” 

“Well well well!?” Ibuki shook her fists, pumped up again at the prospect of more gossip.

That memory wasn’t quite as pleasant.

“When Hajime was fixing my prosthetic, he wanted to know why I sacrificed myself for him, and allowed myself to be captured in his place. Of course, I reminded him that I loved him,” Nagito recounted. It seemed like an obvious question at the time. Now that he had hindsight, though, he wondered if it was simply a way to steer the conversation. “He said he felt the same. He tried to kiss me, but…” Nagito winced.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t let you. Because I was right, wasn’t I?”

“You think I’m doing this because of Izuru!?”

Nagito shook his head. “...Well. Like I said. It was… for his own good.”

Sonia gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh, Nagito, I… I am so sorry!”

“You’re… sorry?” Nagito repeated. Not quite the reaction he was expecting.

“I told you that Hajime was fixing your arm because I thought you wanted to talk,” Sonia explained mournfully. “I knew how you felt, and I could tell Hajime had feelings for you as well. You both acted so odd afterwards. I should have picked it together!”

“‘Put’,” Toko corrected.

Calling his and Hajime’s actions “odd” was a bit of an understatement. Hajime tried to explain himself, and reconnect, and care for Nagito. But Nagito pushed him away. He was cruel.

“Um, question?” Komaru spoke up hesitantly. “You keep saying that avoiding him was for his own good. What do you mean, exactly?”

“Is it Nagichan’s luck?” Ibuki asked.

Nagito shook his head. If it were anyone else, or if Hajime was 100% “Hajime”, it would have been. Something terrible would have happened to him, just like his parents. But Hajime’s own Ultimate Luck nullified the negative aspects.

Well. Not Hajime’s luck. It was-

“You are talking about the simulation, then?” Sonia offered after a pause.

No, not really. Nagito wasn’t in the mood to correct her, though. Plus, the Jabberwock killing game was a massive roadblock between the two of them. 

“I never saw the simulation, though. What happened?” Komaru asked. 

Sonia and Ibuki avoided Nagito’s eyes.

The Jabberwock killing was also the massive elephant in the room.

They all waited for Nagito to explain. He didn’t. He figured the extent of his actions would best be described by the ones he hurt.

“Ah. Well,” Sonia said after his silence became apparent. “Nagito, um… he was a little…”

“Wacko?” Ibuki supplied.

Sonia looked at her sharply. Nagito nodded in encouragement.

“Nagichan tried to hurt Imposter. And everyone. And Hajiman... is also part of ‘everyone’?” Ibuki continued with uncharacteristic discomfort. Her details were very lacking. Nagito thought it would be best to fill in a bit.

“Not out of self-preservation, either. I simply thought that by introducing despair, it would persuade our classmates to fight for their own brilliant hopes. When I failed, I tried to convince the others to do the same,” Nagito explained. The words were familiar, but even he noticed that his tone lacked the enthusiasm he once spoke with. It felt less like the ramblings of a devotee, and more like an objective, emotionless retelling. “I found out our past identities as the Remnants of Despair, and used my own life to try and take theirs. After all, it was the only use I could think of for myself.”

By the deafening silence following, Nagito came to the conclusion that this was not the planned topic of discussion.

This was all news to Komaru. Still, she didn’t look surprised. It probably sounded very consistent with her and Toko’s experience with him.

“But we have forgiven you!” Sonia insisted, covering his hand with hers. “You have proven that you are a good man, many times now. And… we have all done… terrible, terrible things.” Her voice dipped down at the end of her sentence. As pure-hearted as she was now, Sonia, too, was a Remnant of Despair.

“Hajiman totally thinks so, too!” Ibuki piped up, the positive momentum picking up again. “He’s gone gaga!”

“First impressions aren’t everything, either!” Komaru added. “I mean, look at me and Toko. The first time we met, we were totally different to each other than we are now.”

“It wasn’t the first time we met,” Nagito blurted out.

Oops.

“You… knew each other when you were students?” Sonia deduced. “I did not know that.”

“Oh no, Nagichan didn’t like Reserve Courses…” Ibuki recalled. There went the positive mood again. However…

“I met him when he was no longer a student,” Nagito corrected, his tone flattening out. He met him when he was no longer Hajime.

“I see. Hajime feels guilty because Izuru hurt you?” Sonia asked quietly. 

Yes, but not the way she meant it. 

Nagito wasn’t planning on explaining much further, but Toko spoke again, her voice muffled under the blankets.

“W-where did you g-go when you l-left Towa? Th-the f-first time I-I mean.”

Nagito’s head shot up.

“Wh-what Tsumugi said…” Toko murmured.

“Nagito Komaeda, Ultimate Lucky Student number two, psychopath hope-bitch, Izuru’s personal puppy dog!”

A sharp inhale from Sonia, a gawk from Ibuki, a sympathetic sound from Komaru.

The questions popping around in their minds were practically audible, but they knew enough not to voice them. It wasn’t like they didn’t understand what Toko was implying, either. 

Nagito felt that familiar, peaceful feeling of resignation fill his body, pasting a blank, cheerful smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you planned on talking about today. Though, if it’s any consolation, I’ve found this conversation enlightening. It’s good to remember your roots, isn’t it?” Nagito mused. “‘Hajime and Nagito’... it’s pretty nonsensical and twisted, hmm? His claim to care for me is… impossible. And so is yours-”

Nagito was cut off when Sonia tackled him.

“Do not dare finish that thought!” She cried, squeezing him much tighter than he figured she would be able to. “I do not claim to know how Hajime feels, but I know how I do!”

“Sonia…?” Nagito blinked, trying and failing to untangle himself. 

“You are sweet and kind. You saved my life, even after how we have treated you!” She insisted, cheek squished against his shoulder. 

Ibuki leaped at Nagito from his other side, nearly knocking him and Sonia to the ground. “Ibuki’s crazy, too, it’s a-okay! And she was wrong, Nagichan would never hurt his neighbors’ pets. Nami-Mami is so happy!”

The dog’s tail thumped on the bed at the sound of her name.

“Plus, Nagi’s got the voice of a princess, and he lets me play with his floof!” To illustrate, Ibuki plunged one of her hands into his hair and ruffled madly. Nagito really didn’t like it when (most) people touched his hair, but he was too surprised at the moment to protest.

Two more arms wrapped around his shoulders as Komaru laid on her stomach to reach them from the bed. “I know I haven’t really known you for too long, but I wanna get to know you more. We didn’t get off on a good foot, but you’re so different now!”

A hand landed on his head.

“I-I j-just do wh-what Komaru does… sh-she makes friends w-with w-weird people, b-but…” Toko muttered.

Nagito felt tears prick at his eyes, but he was too cocooned with affection to be able to wipe his face. “Ah… that’s… thank you,” he murmured. 

He jumped when he felt a light slap on his scalp.

“Also, come on! Hajime is totally head over heels!” Komaru scolded playfully. “When you talked to him on the computer back in Towa, he was so happy you were okay, I thought he was gonna, like, explode!”

“I-it was gross,” Toko agreed.

“And Hajiman tried so hard to rescue you!” Ibuki squealed. Nagito flinched at her proximity to his ear. “Ibuki heard he carried Nagichan all the way back to the bus. Like a knight and a princess!”

Nagito wasn’t sure he liked Ibuki’s insistence of him being a princess, but she meant well.

“And I have never seen Hajime as happy as he was when you were together.” Sonia said, pulling back to put a hand on Nagito’s cheek. “We are not defined by our actions in the past. Who you are now is most important, and the person that you are now is the one we all love.”

Being loved: it was an experience that Nagito never really had. Of course he wouldn’t recognize it.

“After everything… I think you should allow yourself to believe what you are told.” Sonia smiled gently. “Don’t you?”

Change didn’t come easy. It didn’t come quick. It came in increments, in short bursts, in relapses and two steps back, and in growth. 

One gesture couldn’t change everything. But it could help the process.

“I… I love you all, too,” Nagito said thickly.

********************

Nagito knew he’d made Hajime lose his cool quite a bit back in the day. But not like this. Never like this.

The hole Hajime had punched through the wall watched them like a single black eye, the resulting drops of blood on the carpet almost visible, even in the dark. Hajime’s eyes were puffy, and the bandage on his hand was bulky and rough.

When Hajime had gotten out of the shower, Nagito was laying on the bed and feigning sleep. He wasn’t sure what he could even say to Hajime, and decided that acting was the least offensive thing to do. He kept his eyes shut, even when he felt Hajime’s bore into him. Even when Hajime laid down and clung onto him for dear life. Even when Hajime hooked his legs like a vice around one of Nagito’s, and gripped his shirt enough to make it ride up, and buried his face so far into the crook of Nagito’s neck that he worried his breathing was compromised. 

Maybe it was to prevent Nagito from leaving and trying to sacrifice himself. Again.

Or…

“I think you should allow yourself to believe what you are told. Don’t you?”

...Or maybe Hajime just wanted reassurance that Nagito was there. Maybe he just wanted to be with him.

“I love you,” Hajime whispered shakily to the supposedly-sleeping boy, his breath warm on his skin.

Hajime wanted Nagito to be scared about the prospect of his own demise. But how could he be?

Right now, Nagito had everything he wanted. He had… friends. A makeshift family. He had Hajime.

For once, Nagito was happy.

[lyendith]

Ciconia no Naku Koro ni Phase 1 : To You, The Replaceable Ones

I had planned to write this… review? analysis? of Ciconia Phase 1 right after finishing the game about two weeks after its release, but since then I've had trouble organizing my thoughts. The reason is that this first installment alone tackles a lot of themes: war, nationalism, technoscientism, media consumption and manipulation, the blurring limits between physical and virtual reality, education systems, generational gaps induced by technology, artificial procreation, old people robbing the youth of their dreams, the meaning of family and interpersonal bonds, and even transidentity (albeit briefly). And it is quite remarkable that almost all of those themes are represented by one object: the Gauntlet and the idea of “parallel processing” associated with it.

It's gonna be a long and messy review, I'll probably forget to mention some aspects of the story or overlook others, and I won't talk about every single character, but I'll try to cover the essential parts. Not easy considering how densely-packed the story is, but let's go!

So to start, I should probably focus on this VN's protagonist, Mitake Miyao. On a surface level, he's a bit of what you'd call a “tsundere”: harsh, a little irritable and sarcastic with his pals, but always well-meaning and easy to befriend in the end. One of the running threads of the story so far is that he's too well-meaning in fact, idealistic to a fault, which contributes to his odd charisma but also makes the increasing realization of his powerlessness all the more depressing. You don't want to see this guy fail, but because of the way the story is framed, you know he inevitably will.

For a while, the narration and dialogue like to repeat that “youngsters are each generation's main characters”, but that's a sentiment I couldn't quite share − in our real world, youngsters may be the ones will all the dreams, but they sure as hell aren't the ones making the decisions. The climate change crisis, for example, wouldn't be left unaddressed if that was the case. And sure enough, Ciconia isn't so naïve as to ignore that reality. Every single step of the way, Miyao thinks he can use his power to overturn the situation. Every single step of the way, he's reminded that in the end he's just a pawn moving however his higher-ups or other nebulous forces wish him to. That's a really powerful and relatable theme in this day and age, which raises the question of how far you can oppose a system you're an essential part of.

One thing that makes Miyao special, at least compared to his pals from the AOU, is that he's “ciconia-born” − born from natural procreation. Which means that unlike Jayden or Gunhild, he has bilogical family bonds but also hasn't been subjected to a genetic selection that would predetermine his path in life. At least supposedly, but we gradually learn that that may not quite be the case. In fact, that biological link to Toujirou ends up acting as a tether that robs Miyao of even more control on his own life than he thought, leading to the final tragedy of this first Phase.

There also lies this story's commentary on technology and man's increasing dependence on it − technology makes the kids' life easier, but it's also their undoing. One technology prevented an apocalypse that another caused, and the loss of the former brings about a new apocalypse. Humans created the 8MS but only a handful of scientists have a full understanding of how it works, just like today's technology are only fully understood by a small elite of technicians. We are increasingly dependent on tools whose principles are increasingly out of our grasp. Again, the Gauntlet is another reflection of that.

But back to Miyao and the Gauntlet Knights. In retrospect, it is clear that the way both the characters and readers learn about most dramatic developments through disincarnated news reports (with a goofy “news flash” alert by the frog AI Keropoyo to make it worse) is meant to build up that feeling of powerlessness, and also of disconnect. We should be alarmed that war is approaching, that terrible things are happening… but it all feels distant. After all, do you cry or tremble in fear when you learn that an eathquake killed a thousand people on the other side of the globe? No, you'll think “it's terrible” for a minute and then move on, because what can you do about it? Reading the second half of Ciconia felt a lot like that. And while that's part of the message, it is also to the detriment of the reading experience a lot of the time.

For a while (around the 60-to-80% portion of the game, roughly) we get a lot of redundant dialogue about commenting the news and Miyao rambling on about how they're all COMRADES MAINTAINING THE WALLS OF PEACE, again and again and again, to the point it becomes annoying. That's my only real gripe with the game − the feeling that, at times, Ryukishi forgot he was writing a story and went into political or philosophical essays about its themes instead. Maybe a manga or anime adaptation could help make these parts more… show-don't-telly. But as it is, it could have used some serious trimming down. That's hardly something entirely new − who can forget Krauss' tangent about 1986 Japan's economic situation or Beatrice's explanation of Hempel's crow? But in Ciconia the narration doesn't seem to come from any specific point of view except that of the author (and even on that front, the opening disclaimer warns us that the views expressed don't necessarily reflect the author's opinions), so those parts become all the more conspicuous. Unless this all turns out to be part of a Witch's game, which wouldn't be surprising.

Where Ciconia shines however, is at weaving a web of connections between the characters, one by one, to make you care about some and suspicious of others, sometimes both, and deliberately confuse you about who really controls whom. First we have the kids, with Warcat and Grave Mole which instantly grew on me (the slice-of-life TIPS focused on them had some of my favorite scenes actually), then the other kette with their own quirky charms… then the “villains”, with Toujirou and Seshat, then the Three Kings and Jestress who has a delightful dynamic with Toujirou, and then Toujirou is revealed to be Miyao's father, etc... It's a testament to how well all of those characters are established that I could remember almost all of them very quickly despite their massive number. Save for the Cairo Squad maybe. They're just kinda there. The (mostly) gorgeous character designs certainly help, even if Ryukishi still has a somewhat loose grasp of body proportions and of the… number of fingers on human hands. There's some improvement even in that department though.

While Miyao is for the most part the center of the cast, at least on the kids' side, that doesn't mean the others aren't interesting in their own right. Jayden is your classic “best buddy dudebro” whose easygoingness lets him bounce off Miyao's more strait-laced personality in a fun way, but his relationship with Meow, Miyao's “little sister” who shares the same body, allows him to show more sensitivity and shyness he would otherwise have. Speaking of Meow, she brings about another interesting element of worldbuilding − the existence of “Congenital Parallel Processors”, or CPPs, i.e. people born with multiple personalities, who are not considered mentally ill but a full-fledged minority with its own issues and “coming outs”. Although that aspect isn't developped much (Meow herself kind of disappears from the radar in the second half), we do get other examples of how it can manifest, notably with the character of Naima, whose unnamed alter-ego is violently protective of her, or Rukshana who's prone to abrupt personality changes when she laughs. The way Jayden kinda walks on eggs but genuinely tris to to treat Meow as her as her own person while respecting her and Miyao's privacy is frankly adorable, and I almost wish we got more of that at least in the TIPs!

The kette I found the most interesting, though, was Grave Mole, composed of Chloe, Lilja and Koshka. While a lot of characters have issues, all three of these girls are complete mental wrecks to some degree. Koshka spends her time between grumpily taking part in Kizuna chat rooms and horrific body experiments (usually simultaneously) when she's not training, Lilja has to take drugs to pretend like she's a happy, cute and mischievous cat-girl for the sake of making Koshka a more-or-less functional human being, and Chloe has to constantly deal with unfair punishments and a constantly battered self-esteem. As comedic as Okonogi's angry rants and karate-chops are played (and as much as I like this version of Okonogi, strangely enough), that scene where she gleefully lets Lilja be killed in battle makes it clear that her mental state is just as unstable as the other two's.

On the antagonists' side, things are a lot more blurry: a lot of them utter the arc phrase “All is in the name of guiding humanity down the right path.” However, what the right path is seems to vary depending on who says it. That's where a lot of the mystery lies − be it with Jestress, Seshat or Toushirou, their goals seem contradictory, and Tak… I mean Vier Dreissig doesn't even seem to have a goal beyond SCIENCE. But a big part of Phase 1's hook is that constant uncertainty as to who is playing whom and for what purpose. Even the Three Kings, who seem like your bog standard Illuminati knock-offs, might not be as much in control as they seem − hell, one of the big catastrophes (the fatal damage to the atmospheric 8MS) happens completely outside of their control, in an almost comically sudden way.

Speaking of comical… let's get to what I found personally fascinating but what other readers might have gripes with: the brutal tonal shifts and dissonances throughout the story. A cheery scene to announce the big success of a plan for the Order of the Public Bath? Keropoyo pops up to gleefully announce… an avalanche of terrible news that make the success from a minute ago meaningless. A big conference for peace where World War IV will most certainly be stopped? All of its participant die in an “accidental” explosion. Not to mention characters that are walking balls of tone dissonance like Chloe (who has many comical scenes but is clearly broken beyond repair) or the Yeladot Shavit girls (who by the end are forced to spew out fanatical bullshit with the same sparkly smile they sport when gushing about yuri ships).

This is of course embodied by the incredible climax where all the Gauntlet Knights celebrate their comraderie together in a virtual room… while their real selves are busy killing each other lest they're court-martialed for treason. The moment where all of Miyao's ideals are brutally trashed and scattered in a battle we don't even know the purpose of. The moment where the kids' taent for “parallel processing” becomes their sole mean of escaping the horror of their situation. The moment where all the absurdity, all the unfairness explodes in a depressing flourish. The moment also where the thematic resonance with Umineko becomes fully apparent − how can we not be reminded of Sayo and Maria escaping their shitty lives through their magic? Though of course Rose Guns Days also constantly came to mind, with the focus on war and nationalism, Japan being divided between a union led by the US and one led by China, and two of Miyao's closest friends being the American Jayden and the Chinese Lingji; as well as Miyao being an idealistic and charismatic leader-by-circumstance whose dreams crash into a wall much like Rose's in RGD.

So…

All in all, Ciconia might not entirely be what I expected from a When They Cry game, but it is certainly what I expect from a 07th Expansion game: a thought-provoking experience. Again, I finished my reading shocked and confused. Although it might seem like it shows its cards more explicitly than the openers of Higurashi and Umineko, deception still plays a big part in the story, even if the interaction with the reader is less direct.

Now there might be no murder mystery for the reader to solve, but that won't stop me from speculating! The invisible turning point to me is the “Proof of a Program” chapter, where Blue Miyao tells Miyao that he'll show him someone's face, and that that will activate Miyao's murder program instantly. Miyao first laughs it off, but then the scene brutally cuts to something that might be a flashback, a flash-forward or a nightmare, maybe all of that at once… The most graphically horrifying scene of the entire game, to the point it's almost at odds with the rest. And then… it's never mentioned again. Not even when Miyao meets again with Blue Miyao. Like it never happened. My theory is that everything Miyao experiences from that point onward is some kind of simulation, and that's where the obligatory When They Cry time loop will come from this time. See you in May for the answer?

That is all for today, folks!

[semirahrose]

I hear some people are accusing Sam and Cas of abusing Dean to get him to do what they wanted, what do you think about that?

 My reaction: Utter befuddlement.

(gif credit: sebstans)

I haven’t seen the latest episodes, so I can’t go in and take a critical look at whatever supposedly “abusive” behaviors Sam and Cas are displaying, but I’m gonna guess—as has been the pattern for a long while now—that one or both of them vehemently expressed their disagreement with Dean’s plan, probably more than once. They were probably sad. They might have even *gasp* shown their emotions. (How very dare they) And Sam punched Dean. ** Not something I’m comfortable with, to be honest, but that’s personal and is neither here nor there.

Part of why I love Sam so much is this: as much as he can, to the very limits of his endurance, he tries to trust in people and respect their decisions. He is (despite his lack of faith in himself) slow to wrath—or at least outward expressions of wrath. He is calm, and he is faithful, sometimes even to his own detriment. (Sam has never been able to deal well with losing Dean, though. That’s a long established canon fact.)

But: 

Not being able to pretend everything is all right is not abuse. Telling a person (even repeatedly, even convincingly) that you really don’t want them to do something is not abuse. People are allowed to have emotions and reactions that do not mesh with my own. Wanting something or even needing something  and showing you need it is not abuse.

Being broken, unstable, or on uncertain footing is not abuse. Needing and seeking support is not abuse. Needing and seeking support even when the person you are seeking support from is, himself, broken and in need of support you are unable to provide is not abuse. It’s tragic, but it’s not, by any stretch of the imagination, abusive.

Hitting a person is not abuse. Here’s where it gets sticky. Hitting a person is violence. It is not a healthy response and should never be encouraged. But abuse, by its very definition, is more than violence. Abuse requires a pattern (whether of violence or of financial, emotional, and/or social control) that is enacted specifically to achieve a desired result: to put the abused person under the abuser’s control. 

(Under a cut because this gets long and no one should have to deal with my disconnected rambling unless they wish to. Analysis below of whether Sam [and Cas, to the best of my limited knowledge and ability, since he’s unfortunately not part of my hyperfocus] meet the criteria. tl;dr they don’t)

So. A pattern. And an unequal dynamic. 

A pattern?

Sam is very, very rarely violent when he is in control of his actions (i.e. not possessed or under the influence of a supernatural substance). The instances where he has initiated physical violence in all 14 seasons can be counted on one hand. It does not create any real sort of pattern. 

I could talk for a long time about how Castiel’s occasional violence does not also constitute a pattern of abuse, but though I like him, I haven’t spent as much time poring over his scenes word for word and am not sure how clear it would be, and additionally, it’s a little questionable to expect a being who has been brainwashed and molded for thousands of years to be a perfect soldier to a) understand and b) act in accordance with human relationship dynamics without a lot of trial, error, and patient explanation (which he didn’t get with any consistency from the person whose ideals he clung to when he first appeared [Dean].) I lived abroad in a country whose customs and social expectations were a bit different from my own, and I had the opportunity to do extensive research in advance. I still had pretty intense culture shock and an adjustment period. There were some things I simply couldn’t fully wrap my mind around, and some things I disagreed with. And it was only some thousands of miles of land and ocean that separated us. Arguably, it can’t even be applied to Castiel in those first seasons. Asking him to relearn in days, weeks, or even years things that have been beaten into him over millennia is… ambitious, to say the least, and something that needs to be considered in any nuanced analysis.

Then the show humanized Cas. It made him make some well-intentioned mistakes while trying to seek a leader and do what he believed to be good for his family…the family he has grown up with, again, for millennia. The show took away his powers, his memories, his sanity. But it did not change his role. Castiel’s arcs over the season have specifically emphasized his discomfort and inexperience with being perceived as a leader. When he was unstable after having taken on Sam’s overflowing trauma from his broken hell wall, he was very much not in a position of power, and… if anyone was being abusive, it wasn’t Cas.

But perhaps people are talking about emotional/psychological abuse? Again, both Cas and Sam have expressed desires and tried to explain differing positions from Dean and have been under powerful supernatural influence (the Siren, demon blood, Leviathan, etc), and have made decisions on their own without seeking Dean’s permission—and, oops, that just highlighted our second criterion.

An unequal dynamic (specifically, abuser in a position of power).

Neither Sam nor Castiel is in a position of power over Dean. Only in season 11 did Sam and Dean’s dynamic start to level out a bit. The big struggle in early seasons, the one that literally carried us to the season 5 finale, was that Dean treated Sam as a kid/subordinate, not as an equal, and Sam felt he needed to seek permission to do anything. Actual quote from “Swan Song” (and I admire this development in Dean so much, even if the later seasons dismantled it):

DEAN: The whole “up with Satan” thing. I’m on board. SAM: You’re gonna let me say yes? DEAN: No. That’s the thing. It’s not on me to let you do anything. You’re a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I’ll back your play. SAM: That’s the last thing I thought you’d ever say. DEAN: Might be. I’m not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is… You know, watching out for you… it’s kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it’s… it’s kinda who I am. You’re not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can’t keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don’t know if we got a snowball’s chance. But… But I do know that if anybody can do it… it’s you.

Some people will try to claim that Sam is in a position of power because he tried to go to college or because he can leave Dean and (somehow??) holds that over Dean’s head repeatedly (??????????), but if someone is in a position where, for even their own education or mental health, they’re not allowed to be apart from someone or even think about seeking something for themselves, that’s not abuse on the part of the person who seeks separation. And when Sam (young, so young), left for college, the only control he had was his own autonomy, his own two feet that brought him out that door. He was disowned for choosing to do what he needed for himself, after growing up in a family he had a hard time feeling a part of. That’s not abuse on Sam’s part. Maybe Dean did need Sam there beside him. But doing something for his own mental health and personal growth is not abuse by any stretch of the imagination. I call that courage.

The same goes for Castiel, especially considering that, despite his greater physical strength (when he was a fully-powered angel), he still tends mostly to act as if he is a subordinate or inferior, possibly from the millennia during which he was a soldier in a garrison: he was looking for a leader, a superior officer, even when he left. He found Dean.

“But what about when Sam and Cas do things behind Dean’s back??” Some people might ask. Again, I feel like (especially in the case of the Mark, where, due to its powerful influence, Dean was significantly altered and violent/controlling) if characters are so afraid to seek permission/understanding that they fear that they have to do something completely in secret… that just…. that’s not evidence that these people scurrying around in breathless terror are somehow the ones in a position of power?? Quite the opposite, I’d say. I mean, MoC!Dean literally said they weren’t a team; it was a dictatorship.

I’m sorry there are so few examples. Honestly, I could go on for hours and for pages and pages and pages, but I don’t have the time or the brainpower to make that post, so this is what I have. I’m sorry it’s not as complete as it could be or that it doesn’t include examples from s14, since I haven’t seen anything since pretty early in the season.

In short/tl;dr: Sam and Cas neither display a pattern of control nor find themselves consistently in a position of power over Dean. (And I cannot stress enough that Sam trying to seek his own path/seek education/do things for himself does not count as abuse and it disturbs me that people think it does.) 

In fact, the opposite is most often the case: Dean is generally in the role of the leader. Recent seasons have begun to change that dynamic a bit, but neither Sam nor Cas have reversed the dynamic.

** Re: Sam punching Dean:  I understand the circumstances and his reaction makes sense to me, but I’ll be honest: I’m personally uncomfortable with violence as a problem-solving method. So I don’t like that Sam did it, but I understand that both brothers grew up in an environment where less destructive/self-destructive methods were not consistently modeled for them. I understand that there are situations in which people might feel like words are useless and their only recourse is a physical response. I get pain and tragedy and desperation and terror and loss… but it doesn’t mean I’m any more comfortable with it.

[sombrz]

Please imagine me just delivering these on a platter to ur sickbed: akira, minako, ochako, iida, (tries to think of a marvel comic person) uhh flash

thank you, thank you. who needs cough medicine when you have shipping.

(edit: i’m 99% healthy. it took me that long to finish this mess.)

AKIRA: okay, i think i remember telling you how i was pretty chill with akira ships. like, if done right, i don’t mind any of them, except for futaba (because they’re siblings, fu). besides our collective issues with atlus and their inability to not be weird when it comes to the girls. also, i feel like what makes the p5 kids feel the most like actual friends is also what makes it harder for me to fully invest in any individual dynamic - they all meet throughout the course of the game (even ann and ryuji aren’t close friends beforehand, and there’s definitely no drama between them) and they help each other heal and get past their abusers so that they can have a fresh start and feel free to be normal teenagers. so there’s little to actually grab onto when searching for….anything layered? like, compared to the p3 kids who have so much inner turmoil that they take out on each other - or the p4 kids, who can’t be completely truthful to themselves or each other. the p5 kids do have baggage, but not with each other. which makes for healthier bonds but also more boring ship dynamics lmao. all very cute and fluffy, but not a lot of substance. 

point is, i don’t really have much to say? like akira/yusuke is fun and silly. akira is eccentric and cool enough to go along with yusuke’s antics, and even though p5 always gives us an option to be mean, i can’t imagine akira ACTUALLY thinking that kind of stuff? like, he’s a weirdo too so he just. gets it. yusuke basically takes akira out on dates during his social link. they lend themselves well to model/artist headcanons and aus. they don’t realize they’re dating until a few months into their relationship - one of the others had to point it out and yusuke’s like ‘oh? is that what this is??’ and akira’s like ‘thank god’ bc he was too awkward to bring it up himself. futaba makes fun of them a lot.

akira and ryuji are cute too. i’ve gotten a bit fond of the boner squad (br)ot3 too. just ann/ryuji/akira being dumbasses. or ann/shiho+ryuji/akira being dumbasses while going on double dates. there’s also not really much to it - just the usual persona teen boy ‘no-homo-bromo-but-it’s-actually-homo’ fare. ryuji’s less possessive and repressed about it than yosuke is, though. which is good (ie more healthy) bc it’s more like akira found himself a human puppy jock boyfriend, and it’s cute! ryuji instantly decided he liked akira and started planning their secret handshake and selecting their cool delinquent hangout spot. and akira just smiles through it all bc he’s charmed. morgana gives akira the most judgemental stare ever when he finds out though. 

i like akira/haru bc she’s who i dated in my playthrough. they’re soft and sweet and i think a slow relationship built on patience is good for both of them. and they have the most obvious phantom thief couple aesthetic, tbh. they also have the ‘demure wallflower by day, trigger-happy hellion by night’ thing going on. i love the idea of them opening up a coffee place together (their futures align! this is the SO that sojiro approves the fastest lbr!) and akira being haru’s trophy husband (let this man be someone’s trophy husband).

akira/goro’s the one with the most depth lmao as our boy akechi gets the short end of the stick re: what everyone else got - to defeat their abuser and come out the other side a new and improved person. INSTEAD, it’s all about deep-rooted envy and what-ifs. when i replayed p5 for my friend’s benefit, she kept being like ‘wow ok akechi’s got….the most obvious crush on mc. why is he always here? why does he talk like that? omg?’ and my sentiments exactly. AKIRA’S thoughts exactly, tbh, bc what else is he supposed to get out of some of the things that come out of goro’s mouth. but it’s like….he DOES like akira, but he also resents his existence because akira gets to have real bonds and happiness despite the crappy hand dealt to him. and their own bond is based on careful lies and observing each other for any cracks in their armour. but there’s that undertone of wishing that they’d met in other circumstances, where they COULD have a normal relationship and get to know each other in a way that’s not ‘we levelled up our relationship when you shot me in the face with the intent of murdering me and framing me for my own death but really, i tricked you and you didn’t actually kill me & now we can defeat you and your dad! ha! checkmate!!’ but i love that that’s actually part of the dynamic so lmao.

MINAKO: you know, despite minako and minato being considerably different (both their external personality/appearances > emo boy/preppy girl  - and the changes in their dialogue choices > again, minako is a lot more confrontational and energetic), i pretty much just ship them with the same people?

the only exceptions of this being i ship minako with shinjiro and yukari but can’t really fathom either of them with minato. (it’s bc yukari is a lesbian and shinji does not deal well with sullen people. like, what’s he supposed to do? pat minato on the back?) 

i will also warn that it’s been….forever since p3 so i’m kinda fuzzy on details. 

anywhoooooo, AIGIS. main protag ship is aigis. idc which protag, but i must give atlus my once-in-a-blue-moon compliment because they kept aigis’ social link and her blatantly romantic feelings for the protag the exact same in portable. so minako/aigis is just as canon as minato/aigis, buahaha. anyway. robot girlfriend who starts off being somehow programmed to feel protective/indebted to minako but then starts developing real genuine feelings as she explores her humanity, minako wanting to show aigis how to enjoy herself while putting the emphasis on aigis’ feelings and opinions but also being so amazed and grateful for aigis’ love and attention. also, the difference between protags here being that while minato is silently intimate, minako is loudly loving. the utter tragedy that is aigis not being able to save the person she cares about, the imagery of minako’s head in her lap while they wait for the end is….A Lot. i think in a lot of tragic robot/human romance fiction, the robot gives up its life for their human partner so i like the reverse here - with aigis having to experience the emotions of loss and depression and overcoming that because she truly loved mina(k/t)o and now they’re gone. it’s heavy! it’s a lot! i just remembered i never finished the p3 movies! i should do that!

there’s ryouji. again, don’t care which protag - just like the idea of our mc flirting with death. literally flirting with the avatar of death. the double sides of the ship: goofy teenage flirting vs warning of impending doom. ryouji just being like ‘yeah just kill me it’s for the best i’m actually here to destroy the world or w/e’ to his gf (or bf) out of nowhere on christmas eve lmao. it’s fun, idk.

yukari! honestly, taking out all the forced hetero ship teasing made me ship her with minako more lmao their social link was just better! no offense! and their personalities mesh better too - i feel like yukari would get way too frustrated with a closed-off partner and i love concept of: the huffy takes-no-shits girl being soft for her cheerful outgoing gf. also, i spent way too long imagining the answer with minako - the aigis/minako/yukari would be heartwrenching and we deserve it. 

shinjiro! can i start off by saying it’s a good thing shinji was in p3, which did the best job of showing the characters apart from the protagonist and main plot (prob bc on the other hand, it did the worst job with social links seeing as none of the guys had them) - i feel like in p4 or p5, we wouldn’t have gotten to know him nearly as well before he died. anyway, his social link with minako is really sweet and a romance between them hits my ‘tsundere/flustered boy not knowing how to deal with affection from pretty girl he respects a lot’ checkpoints. and i need to talk about this: i feel like the decision to make him comatose instead of dead if you romance him was a double edged sword disguised as a blessing lol. because he was still DYING before he got shot, and also he wakes up just in time to find out his girlfriend died! fhdhfgdjd! 

                      —————————————————————– 

uraraka……okay: i ship her with tsuyu, bakugou, iida, mina and toga. 

oh, here’s a story. before i got into bnha, i stumbled on a bunch of deku/uraraka amvs and they were so precious. like, really, deku and ochako are the cutest goddamn things in this series. seeing them side by side makes me want to channel my inner grandmother and pinch their cheeks. it was, like, the only thing i knew about bnha at first, so i just figured i’d end up shipping it whenever i eventually got to watching it bc i’m easy to please like that. but ha. nah. it’s sad bc i love their dynamic when it’s focusing on their actual friendship but then the actual romantic hints made me want to roll my eyes so hard. it’s so BORING if you take it at face-value, and i’m so boggled by it if you look deeper bc i don’t understand what hori’s planning here. it’s irritating bc even uraraka admits that her borderline obsession (and that’s what it is, since it’s compared to TOGA’S CRUSHES…y’know, our resident yandere serial killer?) is detrimental to her growth as a hero. and i know it’s partially bc she’s a teenager but its blown so out of proportion. it’s a crush!! relax!!! like, compare to deku’s crush on uraraka where after he got over his initial anxiety of talking to girls, he - at most - just blushes a little when she stands too close or dresses extra-cute. every other time, he treats her no differently than any of his other friends. but then uraraka’s crush is treated like. this weirdly twisted admiration she doesn’t even WANT. she relates to a villain’s desire to imitate and become the person they like, she gets ridiculously jealous every time he looks at another girl, she keeps fucking up because she focuses too much on him and how to be like him. it’s weird. idk. typical fiction tropes lead me to believe i’m supposed to root for them to get together (and bnha will end with an epilogue where they have a child named after a food) but the story i’m being told makes me want to root for uraraka to succeed at getting over those feelings! idfk!!!

also, i have to laugh at the way horikoshi decided to tell us and uraraka herself that these feelings were romantic. by having aoyama just be like ‘oh you were thinking what would izuku midoriya do? could it be you love him?’ when we see multiple male friends of deku’s (iida and todo, in particular - hell, even aoyama himself) have similar WWMD thoughts and he, in turn, instantly imitates bakugou whenever he hits a roadblock (taking inspiration from to downright copying bakugou’s moves, trash talking his opponents, etc). am i supposed to see only uraraka’s feelings as romantic? why? because she’s a girl and deku’s a guy?

i like it better when iida’s involved. both iida and uraraka are so sweet and enthusiastic to counter deku’s more nervous personality, and they’re a very good trio! i tend to prefer them as a brot3 but as i said, i do ship iida/uraraka seperately! i don’t have any big reasons for it except i enjoy how contagiously energetic and silly they are around each other? dramatic too - remember the ‘REACH FOR MY HAND’ scene when all the UA students were freaking out? it’s just a simple best friend dynamic like what they have with deku but there’s no weird one-sided jealousy/competitiveness involved (luckily, iida got over it after the stain arc haha). they don’t end up feeling bad or unworthy of the praise they get from the other - which is great, because they’re very complimentary towards each other! iida is so understanding (his immediate reaction to uraraka being self-conscious about her reason for pursuing heroism) & uraraka is usually the one who vocalizes how cool and talented iida is (while also giggling her ass off whenever he gets all extra-dramatic)! tbh, curse their aborted moment after iida’s match with mei! let them praise each other!!! i like that their seats are so close to each other too - i wonder how horikoshi decided on the seating plan. but uraraka’s tendency to shake iida by the shoulders is precious & i bet you he breaks his staunch ‘follow-every-rule’ mentality when it comes to uraraka writing him little notes in class. also, maybe uraraka just deserves a sweet+rich boyfriend. it’s that easy. lmao.

i already talked about bakugou/uraraka. it’s great, dripping with potential, needs more canon interaction. i only trust a portion of its fanbase to do them properly. but this is the case for almost every big ship. (where’s that one fandom meme where one of the questions was like ‘what do you hate seeing in fanfic/content for them’ bc NOW THAT I’M ACTUALLY READING FANFIC AGAIN, LEMME TELL YOU. BEING A MULTISHIPPER IS HARD.)

tsuyu and uraraka are just genuinely a good match? i like the contrast between uraraka - who is emotional and upbeat - and tsuyu - who is calm and rational. but they’re both very perceptive? their first night at the dorms is a good indicator of how their dynamic works. the others are quick to accept that tsuyu doesn’t want to play along with the room competition, but uraraka both provides the excuse and lingers behind with worry. she probably had to convince tsuyu that it was okay for her to vocalize her feelings to the bakugou rescue squad, and volunteered to be with her during said confrontation. compare to the forest where tsuyu sweetly and calmly offers uraraka her hand because she sees her friend is scared, without actually needing to say anything else. they’re sweethearts. i absolutely adore them. oh, and i dig their earth/sky + pink/green aesthetic clash.

uraraka and mina are based on two things: 1) they’re always hugging and hanging out in official art/sketches (mina even has a selfie of them hanging on her wall of pics in her room) so i can only assume they’re super-close gal pals that should kiss, 2) i love shipping silly idiots together and it’s hard to find ships like this that are f/f but these two fit that specific chaotic mold!!! and 3) AESTHETIC DREAM!!! PINK SPACE GIRLS!!!! DO I NEED ANY OTHER REASONS? NO. NO, I DO NOT.

HOLY SHIT, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT’S OFFICIALLY CANON THAT TOGA HAS A ROMANTIC CRUSH ON URARAKA? again, i could write an essay on coding and how frustrating it is for characters like toga to usually be bi/pan. but no one’s claiming this a win for rep. and i’m FASCINATED by this dynamic. toga loves stain-sama for his ideals and how that enables her nature to kill. she loves deku-kun out of curiousity for his ideals and the fact they met when he was beaten to a pulp lmao. and she loves ochako-chan because she sees herself in her - she thinks that they share ideals. again, i have no idea what the long-term meaning for this development is but it’s clearly pitting them against each other? and adding a romantic element to that is hmmmmmmmmm. we’ll see, we’ll see. and like i mentioned above, it’s shocking and worrying and makes me ship uraraka and toga more that uraraka ALSO sees the similarity between her and toga. she’s horrified by the implications of it but she hears toga’s spiel and tries to fruitlessly deny that ‘yeah, she’s right. that’s how i am. we’re the same.’ if i were to ever write a traitor!uraraka fanfic (which i would if i could ever FINISH a writing project), it’d be uraraka/toga and uraraka trying to convince herself she’s better than toga, that she still has a moral code and her reasons for joining the league have more weight to it, and she doesn’t!!! care!!! what toga thinks of her!!! and expecting a rivalry but toga doesn’t meet that head-on because instead, toga wants to be close and connected to uraraka. toga has this kind of mature soft side we’ve seen before (with twice) that shows how she can see you at your core (her fight w/ uraraka also showed that) and i want to see uraraka to be on the end when she thinks she doesn’t deserve it and doesn’t trust toga and just being frustrated and confused over it all.

                        —————————————————————– 

iida…….i think deku, todoroki, uraraka and aoyama are my biggest ships for him. also, i don’t ship it myself but momo/iida/todoroki’s rich kid squad is A REALLY FUN DYNAMIC AND OT3.

LET’S BE REAL: IIDA/DEKU IS SO UNDERAPPRECIATED IN THIS FANDOM. ALL IIDA SHIPS ARE BUT….IIDA/DEKU. iida’s goddamn….tucked deku into bed. threw his hat in the ring of rivals. there’s official art of iida giving deku a shoulder ride. he punched him to make him see how his actions are affecting him - “haven’t you thought about how *I* feel [about you putting yourself in peril]?!” like. bro. okaaaay. i still laugh that they got on the wrong foot initially - deku was so scared of iida sjfhhf like he was equally worried he’d be stuck in the same class as iida as he was about kacchan. thankfully, iida’s a sweetheart who cares with all his heart, and he sees all that there is to admire about deku, so they became instant friends after that. and iida means SO MUCH to deku. i pay a lot of attention to how future!deku talks in his narration, because he normally interrupts the narrative to move the story along - by talking about minor time skips, the movement of the villains, etc. but he also tends to wax a bit poetic about his friends. like when he interrupted everything to give us a side-story about how and aoyama became bffs. so we can assume that aoyama’s friendship means a lot to adult izuku. or how comforting and important it is to me that even as an adult, he refuses to stop calling bakugou ‘kacchan’. it’s sweet. in that same vein, it strikes me that deku still holds an amount of guilt for not supporting iida better during the whole ingenium-stain debacle. it ended….much better than it could have, and that experience was what strengthened iida/deku/todo’s relationship. yet as an adult, deku still wishes he could have done more. offered iida the help he needed before he went rushing in. hoo. but anyway, yeah, they’re cute! wholesome nerd boys! cute height difference! also yeah, i’m glad that iida got over his sports-festival-era feelings of inferiority towards deku. deku loves competition, but you can tell that he didn’t want that out of his relationship with iida (compare to how he outright covets a rivalry with bakugou and accepted it from todoroki w/ his head held high). it wasn’t based on healthy feelings and they’re so much better as supportive bfs.

iida and todoroki have a lot of stuff in common as legacy heroes who were trained from childhood to be heroes - with the major difference that todoroki faced horrifying abuse that prevented him from having a close relationship with his siblings and made him want to reject his legacy, while the iidas are good folk and iida’s brother means the world to him and he’s so far one of the only heroes we know to reuse a superhero identity based on legacy. and even the painful bullshit (like the ‘take out your muffler and a new, stronger one will grow in’ thing) was something that iida went through on his own accord and with warning. and todoroki’s words of encouragement during the stain arc were based on his own life lesson! they both come off as very serious and abrasive elites at first glance, but they’re actually dorky and socially awkward! but i think they get each other - i imagine they have a very calming friendship, no need for pretenses and judgement, and they deserve that! they probably think the other is hilarious too even though absolutely no one else gets the joke! they had a lot of cute moments recently since they were paired in the same 1A vs 1B match. like iida can just…tell the minute differences in todoroki’s expression and demeanour apart and knows when there’s something wrong. and they’re just so humble and sweet and can’t handle the other being self-deprecating. they’re good boys, brent.

already talked about iida/uraraka. they’re cute, i love them.

AOYAMA THOUGH. knight boys! they were so good during the exam! it really got me that aoyama didn’t even consider the idea that iida might not abandon him, might want to help him and win together instead of just use him to get ahead himself - and iida didn’t even really get the emotional realization aoyama went through there but he was still like ‘YEAH WE DID GOOD! I’M GLAD YOU FEEL BETTER! THUMBS UP! :D’ they’re both very dramatic and - i don’t know how to describe it….they pose a lot, talk with their limbs. they’re silly, is what i mean. and maybe aoyama ALSO deserves a loving, rich boyfriend. MAYBE IIDA SHOULD BE EVERYONE’S LOVING RICH BOYFRIEND. but in this case, aoyama’s boyfriend who will carry him bridal-style everywhere, much to aoyama’s glee lol. except when he’s dragging him along via his cape. whatever works.

also, side note, i find it kinda interesting that fandom pairs him up with girls like mei and camie - when i just….feel like he’d be so out of his element and sooo overwhelmed? i’m wincing just thinking about it lol poor iida.

                        —————————————————————–

i’m glad you specified marvel bc if you’d just said ‘comic’, i would have assumed you meant THE flash and i would be forced to sit here and think of every dc speedster ship…..well, it wouldn’t be as bad as spidey ships (honestly i’m very basic with speedsters - it’s just like ‘speedster/their spouse’ with the adults (even wally - linda or bust, tbh) and ‘speedster/their best friends’ with the teens), but we’d be here longer. 

BUT FLASH THOMPSON? i already mentioned my two big ones, with venom and peter but i’m def willing to talk more about them.

 flash/venom, a man and his gooey alien husband. i love that it’s a relationship based on self-growth and healing from past hurt and stopping destructive habits and cycles (both that cause self-harm and harm onto others). one of my favourite panels is still where flash pleads with peter to not let his anger seep into venom because venom’s gotten past all that. he’s a better person (being. alien. thing.) now and doesn’t want to turn to feeding on rage ever again. and that’s true for flash (a victim of child abuse who bottled up all that sadness and rage and took his aggression out on other kids) as well. it’s just so….nice. and venom credits all this to flash. and a thing i find about venom is that its unhealthy dynamics are all about control - you’re just its host, it possesses you against your will, you become an out-of-control villain. but with flash, venom sees a partner and home - they need and belong with each other, they communicate and cooperate, they became a superhero. also i love how they’re seriously affectionate and intimate - that’s just kind of a given with venom, i think, because you have to invite & accept it as part of yourself. but flash is so soft with venom - while he’s not as….hm, vocal about it as eddie ‘ooh my love my darling~’ brock is (he’s also a bit less obsessive haha sorry eddie), he’s so protective and likes giving venom headscratches and kissy faces to the point others react to it like they would witnessing PDA. i just want flash to be all cute and smooch his husband when they’re not like. one singular entity. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE HEALTHIEST DYNAMIC FOR FLASH TO BE IN IS WITH A SYMBIOTIC ALIEN GOO CREATURE? I CAN. AND I’M THANKFUL FOR IT.

 i also ot3 them with eddie for the sake of my peace of mind where everyone’s happy. where venom’s not torn between two loves, and eddie doesn’t feel the need to think things like ‘it’s tough being someone’s second best’ and ‘i’d like to think he’d do the same for me but part of me knows that would be a lie. it’ll always be flash.’ and having those thoughts because he literally FEELS that pull towards flash? like he inherited those feelings, he KNOWS what it’s like to love flash thompson. LIKE, YO????? GIVE ME THAT SYMBIOT3.

then there’s flash/peter, the funniest super/civvie id love triangle in the world. flash having the biggest hero crush on spider-man in high school - so many superheroes to choose from but spidey is the best, because he’s an underdog, because he gets pushed down and refuses to give up, because he’s SO GODDAMN COOL - while simultaneously thinking peter is frankly, the worst? but in that terrible way where he fixates on peter even when he’s not part of the conversation. waiting for him to leave school so he can be mean to him, feeling frustrated whenever he tries to be nice to the guy and peter either ignores, rejects or insults him in return. peter just being like ‘Sigh’ whenever flash insults him by gushing about spidey, but that’s also why he can’t dislike flash no matter how bad their relationship is. how can he hate spidey’s biggest fan? and also he probably gets a good amount of pleasure out of flash’s gf liz allen having a crush on him. peter also does this to johnny and his gf, dorrie evans - they’re frienemies in high school and kind of obsessed with each other,,,,’heRE’S MY LIST OF 500 REASONS WHY I HATE THE HUMAN TORCH’ OK PETE RELAX. so yeah, peter, despite having genuine feelings for betty brant, hits on liz and dorrie whenever they cross paths and lets them use him to make their hot blond boyfriends jealous. (peter, maybe you ARE the worst. stop it.) and then when they get to college and end up in the same friend group, flash slowly realizes that peter is like. hot now? and like, kind of a cool dude who went through a lot! like, he thought peter was a jerk in HS but he’s actually really nice when he wants to be and is always in your corner! ‘wow, i really like and respect pete! i’m proud to be his friend!’ flash thinks while staring at peter’s biceps. meanwhile, peter has no idea what’s going on because he keeps expecting flash to turn back into a dick (and steal one of his girlfriends lmao) but instead, he just keeps proving he’s a great guy! and keeps confiding in him! and uh, complimenting him a lot? and still fanboys over spidey and that’s really endearing! and oh, he’s really gonna miss him whenever he’s on tour and the idea of flash dying is unthinkable and he really likes being his roommate and he’s who he wants to be his best man and he doesn’t get why flash doesn’t seem to realize how great he is, and welp, he just punched captain america in the face for not telling him flash was agent venom. anyway, bottom line: i like dynamics that are very….long-term and constantly changing? so i tend to fall for the enemies/rivals to friends to lovers thing. or friends to enemies to lovers. but this is a former situation for sure.

also, i’m convinced every corner of the college crew pentagon happened. flash and harry MUST have at least made out once and neither was sure how to deal with the aftermath of that for a couple of months. he’s kissed and casually dated gwen AND mj - but i find it interesting that it seems like neither girl really ever considered him a contender. gwen cares about him but sees him as a shoulder to vent to about her issues with peter, and mj has a lot of fun with him but also considers him the male version of her (outgoing and bright but unwilling to commit and act serious). and he interestingly backs down quickly when peter decides to make a move on the girls. like, compared to his love triangle with liz and peter where i feel he was pretty resistant to letting her go - especially to someone like puny parker, he responds to peter’s accusations re: gwen and mj with ‘hey, relax. it’s not like that. i wouldn’t do that to you.’ i take it as him growing up and not feeling the need to overcompensate to impress his dad and also maybe the fact that he’s a bit more aware of how closeted he is. but it’s weirdly different with harry (*cough* cause it’s the first dude aside from peter he had any romantic interaction with *cough*) so he just……..dances around those feelings (on top of both of their feelings for peter) until harry starts dating liz (BECAUSE EVERYONE DATES EVERYONE IN PETER’S CIRCLE OF PALS, I GUESS) and he’s just like ‘???????????? well okay then’.

i like his dynamic with felicia as much it also pains me - that felicia went into it thinking she could use flash to hurt peter (’i’ll break your heart like he broke mine!’) but then ended up legitimately falling for him and started hoping for a normal life with him. also that they liked hanging out in terrible workout clothes. nerds. (alas, it didn’t last bc….FLASH, BUD….BUDDY….I CAN’T BELIEVE MARVEL HAD FLASH SAY THAT AND THEN PROBABLY SAT BACK AND THOUGHT ‘YUP PETE’S BEST BUD FLASH IS TOTALLY STR8′) and i need to read more of him and betty to get a handle of that but. what i’ve gotten from the panels i’ve seen that it’s very dependant on the writer and has the same problem flash’s relationships with liz, gwen, mj and felicia had where there’s a lot of love there but the actual romantic element is….lacking? falls short? fizzles out? where he seeks out a connection to peter(/spidey) through his romantic relationship with a woman peter used to be involved with and pushes said woman away when she starts getting in too deep?

anyway, that just turned into an essay about how flash thompson has been gay since his conception and only like, 20% (maybe less) of writers in charge of writing him have actually realized it.

[dimensionslip]

Danganronpa 3 The Stage 2018 Thoughts

“Summer is coming with despair...” - Aka a very much relatable quote that comes with some of the stageplay merchandise and tokuten

Came back from the matinee showing at Ikebukuro, which started at 12nn and ended around 3:15pm (though part of it was a mini-concert by Samurai Tunes and them promoting their free concert tomorrow). Boy, I did not expect it to be that lengthy, but I certainly did feel I got my money’s worth!

Anyway, under the cut are some of my thoughts and my experience over there! Unmarked spoilers follow. Also, I’m going off memory for these and in no particular order, so if there’s anything I wasn’t able to answer in my report, feel free to drop an ask and I’ll try to answer it to the best of my abilities! o/

The gates opened at around 11am to allow people to buy merchandise before the stageplay starts. The lines weren’t that bad and to my knowledge, none of the merchandise sold out, so there’s plenty to go around! I bought the pamphlet and visual book set, the tote bag, some bromides, the large images, and the can badges.

The stageplay, for the most part, follows the story of DR3, but has a number of deviations and additions, especially to adjust to the fact that they’re not bringing in actors for Class 77. For the most part, I think they were for the better, and I really enjoyed them.

Most of the time, the backup dancers and lifters for the stageplay were in Monokuma kigurumis, which I think is an unusual but rather interesting and fitting choice.

No Chisa in a metaverse theater, watching things unfold :( Though I think that would make for a confusing story and would take up too much time, especially with the limited amount they have...

The intro to the Future Foundation’s members and their abilities has Chisa using a fly swatter to strike down the Monokuma backup dancers (who I think represent the Remnants of Despair) which amused me too much. The rest of the characters more or less proceeded as they did in the anime.

Naegi was the one who introduced everyone with their titles and what not.

Hagakure, Togami, and Junko were never onstage, just on video for their respective parts.

Everyone was mostly on point with their characters and costumes, but those who really sounded similar to the original voice actors were Munakata, Ruruka, and Bandai. And Seiko to an extent.

Bandai was probably the most amusing character to watch... I can’t believe he actually pitched his voice to match up with Rie Kugimiya’s original acting.

Juzo isn’t as buff as his anime counterpart, but it’s not that detrimental. Just a small thing I noticed.

One extra scene that amused me was Asahina picking a fight with Juzo (while he was beating up Naegi prior to the killing game), which went something like, Kyoko telling Asahina to be careful because Juzo’s the SHSL Boxer, and she’s just the SHSL Swimmer. She tried a lot of silly moves on him, including a swimming one. Needless to say, she was soundly defeated.

Mitarai was with everyone from the start instead of a latecomer.

I like the way they handled Munakata’s NG Code (for the most part, it was almost perfect)--there were doors onstage and he wouldn’t enter them and always exited or entered from the side of the stage--if not from the audience side.

I love how they handled the tragedy that is Class 76th’s dysfunctional friendship, and am glad they kept the flashbacks for it.

Speaking of flashbacks, Juzo and the incident with Junko making fun of him was handled pretty well. I like how Juzo’s expression was mostly “tch”/mocking when Junko was like “and the person that Juzo Sakakura likes is Chisa Yukizome--” then suddenly alarmed when she goes “--not, it’s Kyosuke Munakata!”

They also had the Class 74 graduation flashback, which I’m glad they kept in.

Weird nitpick on my end: When they showed onscreen the silhouettes of Ultimate Despair, they had Hinata on it instead of Kamakura.

With regard to Kyosuke discovering that Chisa is part of Ultimate Despair, they changed it from pictures to a “video” (enacted onstage). It was pretty brutal. The video came from Tengan, who we later on discover told Kyosuke about Chisa being Ultimate Despair and giving him the video to prove it.

Like in the anime, they just had Tengan lipsynch the part where he tells Munakata who the culprit/mastermind is, and it’s only later that we discover what he said in his dying moments.

My memory is a little fuzzy on this one, but I think he also said something about her being brainwashed? There definitely was a brief cut onstage to where Chisa was on that chair, being forced to watch the despair video. And, well, screaming.

There were some scenes were they had to show or make it seem that people were moving through a lot of places, and they kind of ended up doing that by making the stage actors walk in place (since the alternative is making them run around the stage and/or venue, which sounds like it may invite an accident more than running in place would). But I ended up having to stifle a laugh while it went down because it made it difficult for me to take some scenes seriously (Munakata running after Juzo when he learns about him planning to end the killing game, Naegi chasing after Mitarai when he goes off to broadcast his hope video).

Right, the adjustment I mentioned to fill the absence of Class 77:

Asahina ends up reviving the people who got killed by NG Code using Seiko’s drug. So Bandai, Izayoi, Kizakura, and Kirigiri arrive in time to save Naegi and Munakata from the people that Mitarai brainwashed. Bandai was using pretty sturdy leeks as weapons...

Naegi is the sole giver of the Hope Speech (TM), and is later joined by Kirigiri, if I recall correctly. Also, he did “Sore wa chigau yo”, bless.

Another added scene: Mitarai talking to Munakata about Yukizome as his teacher, and how he saved her. He also admitted to helping out Junko with the despair video... and I think he might have been there when Chisa got brainwashed, because he somehow knows about her final words before she became a despair. Because one of the lines that went there was something like (this is paraphrased) “even at her final moments, she uttered your name. Yukizome-sensei must really... (love you -> unsaid, it trailed off towards this part)”

With regard to Class 77, Togami tells Naegi at the end that they woke up and are back to their normal selves.

Overall, I really enjoyed the stageplay! I feel it provides a more balanced view of what’s going on, even if they do (expectedly) cut out a lot of stuff. Munakata definitely got a lot of action here (second or equal to Naegi) and it’s pretty amazing how he’s able to keep it up. As far as time limitations go and character limitations as well, I think they handled it quite well, and it was pretty creative of them to make use of the existing cast that way.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: THE TROOF ABOUT STARLIGHT GLIMMER

WARNING: Make sure to put a titch of salt in your hot cocoa. Boosts the flavor a bit. All original imagery belong to their respective owners and I swear to not claim them as my own with this post, which was all made by happenstance and fun. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

A 3rd rate song in Hasbro’s otherwise swinging OST

To be frank, my thoughts on the character Starlight Glimmer are surely something. On the one hand, I find myself connecting with the tragedy that is essentially her trying to make it through her new life, and the other involves curb stomping her face in. I mean, they are sincerely pushing this character to provide some sort of value to the world, but I can’t really say what yet. Yeah, she’s the kind to make mountains out of molehills, but that’s like 85% of the show in general. Yeah, they forgave her faster than most would, but besides killing two characters the show can be incredibly angelic. All in all, I see where the detesting attitude towards her comes from, but something in me still couldn’t see the clear case behind her poor character. Yet, I think I understand now, and I’m surprised most never really touch this thought. Roll with me here...

She’s the total opposite of Discord. The Nega-Discord, if you will.

I see many compare her to Sunset Shimmer, and I definitely see where they’re coming from, but when you start stacking her to Discord, the troof speaks for itself as Discord has everything Starlight wished she had. As villains, Discord relished in chaos (hence the name) whilst Starlight wanted control. Both were content with the results they wanted and made the most of it until a single moment of convenience brings everybody together to defeat them in spades. Compare this to Sunset Shimmer, whose plans as a villain in the 1st movie were generally aimless and the motive behind it didn’t amount to much beyond an elongated grudge against her former mentor. Her motive were better than Starlight, sure, but besides trying to prove Celestia wrong nothing about her villainous stance really evolved before it was killed off entirely.

Though that grudge has come full circle. Which, splendid.

Even after getting their ass handed to them, with the promise to elicit a semblance of change, Discord and Starlight continue to let their villainous sides seep into how they affect the story in their respective episodes. Their escalating actions, though, is where the distinction starts to show. It’s after “Keep Calm and Flutter On” where Discord’s chaotic nature doesn’t create the problem but centers around it; the use of his powers may complicate the situation for others, Discord included, but it’s never to directly put them in any rut that they haven’t dug themselves. Discord’s essentially the anti-hero of the show, effortlessly willing to be the bad guy compared to everybody else, only for his actions to provide a lesson for those affected. He’s pill nobody wants to swallow, but in doing so helps those see the benefit.

With a platonic ship I find beneficial, mhm

And with Discord being the anti-hero, comes Starlight being the anti-villain, or somebody with well off intentions only to make matters worse in reality. Let it not be said that with the episodes that actually gives her spotlight, not just to be a plot device supporting character, it’s always her building the problem only for others to resolve it and spell out the lesson to her (or us), all for the intent of having some semblance of control like before (or having literal control in one episode). Unlike Discord’s chaos which plays a part in solving the problem, Starlight’s control is the problem. And while her motives can appear as reasonable or relating in its terribleness, you can’t deny that the ends add up from more evil means than Discord and this doesn’t make us root for her.

Now I see i<3kimpossiblealot’s stance on Discord clearly

But one might ask, “Monkey Network, you fool, that’s barely enough to label Starlight as the Nega-discord.” And you’re right, their actions aren’t the only thing that makes them extracted opposites. Their presence is also the key element; can’t have a character with only tell and no show. But, here’s where things get transparent: the sheer duality comes in progression of their appearances. People have said Starlight is typically stapled to the episode to have somebody to consider a main character, and they’re right. Unlike Discord, who not only stands out effortlessly but makes his presence known immediately, Starlight comes in and out like a neighbor next door. Her personality is generally static, so it doesn’t feel hard replacing her with Spike or any average character. It reminds me of this other show, Mob Psycho 100, where the main character’s entire point is to be one within a mob even when he is a psychically powerful person, hence his nickname “Mob”. However, his overall character arc is not trying to stand out among the crowd with said power, but enjoy being around one with his increasing circle of friends with or without. That’s what Discord’s character arc is all about, an all powerful chaotic god having a touch more humanity in him and having a sense of belonging with his former adversaries and the world in general. Starlight wants to be more than a past villain, she wants to learn about friendship, however vague that is, but in return nothing makes her stand out beyond baggage, strong magic, and kites. Yeah, she makes friends with Maud, Thorax(?), Trixie, and NEET boy, but it doesn’t affect her place in the canon in any way. They’re the ones having their character built more, not Starlight’s. She’s the peasant among well tuned kings.

And let us be real, she hasn’t made any sort of mark no matter how hard she’s tried and actually succeeded

And as a final blow, it gets pretty meta when you see that Discord getting less actual screen time in the 4 seasons he was around makes him a better character than the 2 Starlight got. Hell, even if you switch Discord and Starlight’s histories, the former has much more charm and likability that his fuck ups wouldn’t make you hate him as much as you would Glimmer. So with all the effort put into Starlight for two years, she got the worst improvement: the kind begging for your attention. The kind that says that you could change only to be continuously overshadowed by your more precise equal.

Now you can see why Discord was the push behind Celestial Advice’s existing plot

We basically got not only a character that’s string compared to the likes of Sunset Shimmer but the same character twice with Discord’s primary presence. And with all that said, what can we do with her? Well, nothing really. She’s so deep in this rabbit hole that it’s too soon to just write her out and too late to say she’s deserved to die. That’s the sad thing about her. Her development existed outside everyone else’s, so we’re literally seeing a bubbled vision of how this fool of a villain tries to redeem herself, practically by herself, with the only sense of keeping afloat is the fear of failure and utter isolation. The lacking discipline, the uncoordinated freedom of doing what you want however you so please, culminating in a tragic state of stagnancy and unintentional detriment.

No wonder people tend to relate to her

So consider it a slow, deflating tragedy, where her presence ironically gets cast into a boundary of isolation with every passing episode. Watch her slowly fall deeper into the background of your mind, and with every scream for acknowledgement, you slowly grow blissful to the white noise, walking by every excuse for her existence only to then look back in the end and say, “You know, she could’ve been made worse.” That might not seem clear, but it’s certainly happening.

She’s basically the new Star Wars series: a polarizing, ambiguous, yet overall mishandled present on your doorstep that will be shelved and forgotten in favor of the original product not long after

Truth be told, I can’t hate Starlight anymore; I’ve certainly grown tolerant enough for her to be a supportive background character with a nice voice. It’s like stomping a roach, you can feel disgusted, scared, annoyed, angry, but after all that, after a while, the emotions mellow enough and the motivation for continuing the scrutiny burns out. And with this, if you are able to find Starlight to be compelling character, that is okay; make lemonade out of lemons. But like staining cashmere, we mustn’t say propelling judgement on her is wrong when the writers have clearly tried to say otherwise to no real avail. All in all, she’s a dead end and you can either enjoy the end with her or turn back around and move on. Whether she truly develops or falters later, there’s no harm in enveloping her with your time. Or you could just be a villain and fucking kill her off.

And as I will never get tired of this gif,  I’m Roy Macintosh, and that’s all I got

[fyeahfantasticfour]

How would you guys handle a mcu ff?

Well, first of all, I’m fine with them staying with Fox, and maybe even prefer it. That way they could get their own film universe a la the X-Men, which they won’t get with the MCU, which is all about the Avengers. So this goes for either the MCU or Fox:

The film 100% needs to be set in the contemporary era, not in the 1960s. There’s nothing about the FF that is intrinsically tied to the 1960s, not any more than the Justice League or the Avengers or the X-Men or the Teen Titans are. I think that would help dispel that misconception and help fandom move away from 1960s characterizations that all four characters moved away from long ago in the comics. 

Ideally, the film would give equal weight to all four characters. It’s important to remember that FF comics have always been successful because they depict their protagonists as flawed and realistic people with actual struggles. So I think the film should focus on the personal lives of the characters just as much as it does on their superheroing.

It needs also to focus on the FF’s struggle to make the world better. That’s something else that differentiates them from other superhero teams – they don’t just focus on beating bad guys, one at a time. They’re visionaries who want to make the world a utopia, and leave the world better than it was the day they entered it. It should be idealistic and Star Trek-like, although that doesn’t mean it can’t and shouldn’t be dark. Building a utopia is difficult.

I would like it if the full horror and tragedy of the space-flight accident was accurately represented. Body horror galore! It should not be fun or joyful. It should come close to destroying them and tearing them apart as a family. These are four people who were in a tragic accident and had their bodies irrevocably altered without any control or say in it. So the movie should accurately represent the danger that the FF were in at first – it was a toss-up whether they would be considered heroes or monsters by the government and public at large. Reed, for one, was fully aware of the danger they were in, and he was doing his best to keep them all alive. The fame and celebrity are just protective measures. A shield, if you will, to ensure that they couldn’t be dragged off to military prisons in the middle of the night without someone noticing. They were, in fact, taken to a military prison right after their accident, which terrified Reed. Much of Reed’s life in 616 canon is spent deliberately trying to ensure that the public sees him and his family as heroes rather than monsters. So I’d like a movie that plays with that disjunction between the ways in which the FF are presented to the public – as heroes who are as nonthreatening as possible, as being an all-American family akin to the Kennedys or the Cleavers – and what they’re actually like (the Addamses). Johnny, for instance, from the first is given a reputation in the press as being a teen heartthrob, when really he’s a sweet, hapless, romantic, queer kid who was isolated, bullied, neglected, and considered a loser/orphan boy most of his life.

Do Sue justice. She’s much better in Fant4stic than she is in the 2005/7 films, but she’s still nowhere near the complete and utter badass that she is in the comics, and still marginalized by the narrative (why didn’t she get to go to the Negative Zone with them?). If she can’t take out the Avengers on her own in approximately 30 seconds, she’s not powerful enough. She is 100% the most powerful and capable member of the FF. I don’t mind it if they have Sue slowly become more and more powerful as the film franchise continues and her training intensifies, but her personality? She needs to be fierce, every inch as smart as Reed, dedicated, driven, heroic. She needs to love exploration and discovery as much as the rest do, if not more. It’s canon in 616 that Sue’s the one who pushed Reed to leave his lab and go exploring in the first place. I’m fine with Sue being a CEO/philanthropist who runs Fantastic Four, Inc, the way she is in 616, or with Sue as a scientist the way she is in 1610, as long as her storylines don’t all revolve around “Reed isn’t paying enough attention to me!” That stopped being a thing in the comics decades ago, and she needs to be shown having a life and interests of her own. 

I also would love it if the film centered more on her than on Reed, even, perhaps, making her the leader. I love Reed completely, but Sue’s always been shortchanged in the comics and the films. She is the only member of the FF who has never had her own comic – ffs, even Franklin has. The woman who is Marvel’s First Lady and their first female superhero deserves her day in the sun! Handled well, she could be Fox or Marvel’s Wonder Woman.

Definitely make Reed the sweet, oblivious, loving, compassionate, absentminded professor-type he is in the comics and not Fanon Reed. The MCU especially has allowed itself to be very influenced by fanon in ways that I think are detrimental to and nowhere near as complex or interesting as the source material (not that Fox isn’t guilty of the same). Reed in the comics is lovable, adorable, and wonderful, and he should remain so in the films.

Make Johnny explicitly queer. It could even be his storyline – dealing with the realization that he’s queer on top of the acquisition of his superpowers and the fame that comes with it and figuring out how to navigate all of it, along with normal high school concerns. I don’t know how likely it is that Johnny’ll ever be depicted as queer in the films, but in my ideal world, he would be. At the very least, do not make him a straight dudebro womanizer the way he was in the 2005/7 films. That is not who he is at all. Definitely go with the 616 characterization. I’d also like it if he started out as a teenager the way he did in 616. 

Ben’s almost impossible to screw up, but definitely make sure that he is Jewish and that it’s explicit in canon. I’d also like it if they went with the Mythos Fantastic Four universe where Ben suffered full-body burns, because his powers have always been a thinly-veiled metaphor for full-body disfiguration, which he’s always experienced as such. Take him and his pain seriously. He should be seriously depressed and angry at first as he tries to work through what happened to him.

I would personally love it if both Storms were Latino (like Jessica Alba) and Reed was black the way he is in Spider-Gwen. There aren’t nearly enough any Latino as Latino superheroes in any film franchise at Disney/Marvel or Fox, and we deserve better representation, especially given the fact that we make up a disproportionately large portion of the filmgoing audience.

Take more inspiration from 616 than 1610.