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#to kinda end up back where i started except that i want to draw again
puffywiz · 2 years
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Rare moment of me sharing my actual life but my dad split the cost of a printer for me for xmas and I am so so excited and pleased with it! I now have way too many test samples of my silly little star wars OC lol. I want to make art my actual career so this is a really cool step toward that dream 💗
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strawberrymochin · 3 months
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The Moan Analysis✎
A slight analysis on how jjk boys would moan | Gojo satoru; Geto suguru; Nanami kento; Ryomen sukuna; Toji fushiguro | got a little carried away while writing nanami and toji
Gojo satoru
✎ starting off with the vocal king of sorcerers, gojo's moans would be vocal 'vocal'. Normally gojo has a playful smooth voice that does charms to human ears, however it changes completely in bed. His voice would go two or three octaves lower as he pants and groans as he thrusts in you. He's a kinda guy who would whispers slutty compliments while fucking you in the middle of the night, depriving you of your beauty sleep. If you're the one who's riding him, he would be squirming as whimpers would follow his delicate trembling lips, especially if you clench too hard around him. He has no shame voicing his pleasures and thus innocently ruins neighbour's peace.
Geto suguru
✎ Suguru's a guy, who lies mostly within rough grunts to panting breaths. He won't be the one to be much vocal while doing the thing. The vocal one in the relationship would be you, since you can't keep your mouth shut when he takes you (c'mon I mean nobody can keep it shut if it's geto suguru). He loves hearing your moans instead. And boy, he hasn't voiced out his thoughts yet, as its kinda embarrassing to him but if you would agree to it, he would record your moans into a playlist. I'm not even kidding, there would be a sorted out one containing your moans from finger fucking, eating you out, fucking you etc. (not to mention he would jerk off to those playlists when you're away from him)
Nanami kento
✎ ASMR. I repeat ASMR. The moans of nanami kento would be literal asmr to your ears. As a former salary man and now again a sorcerer, nanami gets real tired and has trouble sleeping. You were thinking of suggesting him asmr to relieve stress however you realised maybe he would want something more better. And this is how you would find yourself facing the mattress as your back is firmly pressed on namami's toned chest as he thrusts in and out, while snaking an arm around your curves finding his way to your neck slightly choking you, making you drool. His moans would be breathy and slight croaky. He won't waste his stamina trying to talk rather than keep his mind focused on the sensation on the pleasure where you suck him in so good. The only time he would be any vocal would be when he reaches his climax as he cums inside you with a series of low groans.
Ryomen sukuna
✎ Kk, forget about his moaning, this merciless guy would fuck you so hard that you would barely hear any sound other than you whining and moaning under him. The only time you could hear him moan, would be when you give him a blowjob or a titjob whatever he wants. His moans would consist of breathy groans to slight pants while he degrades you. You would know you're doing a great job if his voice cracks while passing you a snarky comment or if his breath hitched while you draw your tongue over his tip licking it clean as it twitches in your mouth. Though every single thing you do would make him experience heaven (which he would never go, nor you guys....lol) he would never accept that you have a slight dominance when sucking him or riding him as it would affect his ego.
Toji fushiguro
✎ Forget about his moans, his existence itself is the sluttiest to ever happen. Also he's such a softie in love babe I swear. He won't be much vocal again except the time he reaches his climax. He would cum as he whispers delicate words of you being such a good girl taking him in as he pants and groans. His words might mess up a little bit, as he cums, might end up blabbering nonsense incoherent words as he rides his high. He makes sure to say one thing everytime you guys have sex, is that he's grateful for you to exist in his world and would beg you a million times to never disappear. To never leave him. That's the only time he shows his true self to you, which you embrace in your arms, cupping his cheeks to gently kiss him to sleep. Even though he seems tough outside, I feel he might be the most insecure person due to his childhood experiences and might hesitate to open up to you. But there's no doubt he would be on his knees for you.
Other parts of the series- The cum analysis | The dick analysis
© strawberrymochin 24 | plagiarism won't be tolerated |
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mydarlingclaudia · 1 month
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fish boy
note : divider is from @/cafekitsune. I also wrote this because I was inspired by this drawing by @sillydicejelly please go look at their art it’s very pretty! this is another summer fic because I’m not ready for summer to be over ugh. I liked writing this a lot but I did feel kinda silly towards the end
wc : 2.8k
tags : @lottiies
desc : he saves you from drowning and you come back each year, falling in love was easy. strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, I think angst (towards the end), not proofread, re2 and re4 Leon, gn!reader, au
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It started back in 1997 when you were nineteen. Your family went to the beach for a week in the summer, like you do every year. Your family had a beach house there that they’d had since before you were born, you’d been going there your whole life, you’ve never noticed anything strange. Most days were the same; go into town, window shop and buy as much ice cream you could stomach, go home and swim until you couldn’t feel your arms, roast your skin, play with your cousins, eat, sleep, repeat.
But nothing stays the same forever, sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes that was a bad thing. But this change was just… odd.
One night you were just having a hard time, you and your mom had gotten into a fight earlier in the afternoon and it had just thrown off the rest of your day. You went out that night, maybe around ten after everyone had gone to bed, the wind was harsh, the water was harsher. That didn’t stop you from jumping into the water to try and let the cold water ease your mind.
It didn’t work, though. One big, unexpected wave had toppled you over in the deep water, and before you knew it, you were gulping down salt water, unable to tell up from down.
Miraculously, you didn’t die, even though you should have. You had lost consciousness, though. You didn’t know where you were when you woke up, all you could make out was a small shore, surrounded by cliffs and overgrown weeds, no one else in sight.
Except for a boy.
He was blonde, pretty, pale, too. There was something a bit odd about his face, but you brushed it off as your bleary eyes adjusting. You don’t remember what you said to him, mostly because you didn’t even know what you were saying when you said it, but he had helped you sit up and you rested against his shoulder, one of his hands awkwardly patting your back. It felt comfy, you could ignore the ache in your body and how heavy your lungs felt and just focus on his wet skin pressed against yours.
This must have been what Eric felt like when he was saved by Ariel in The Little Mermaid.
When your eyes finally did adjust, and you got a good look at him, you realized that the oddity of his face was scales that lined his cheekbones back towards his ears, and that his ears weren’t even ears, but webbed ones, like some sort of deep sea creature. You had backed away from him, a confused expression painted on your face while a slightly pained one was etched onto his.
Your eyes hadn’t been able to focus on a single part of him, flicking between his tail, his webbed hands, the gills that lined his throat, his sea-matted hair, the blue tint that surrounded his fingers and gills, everything. You had to be dead, there was no other explanation, but his voice had been so soft when he spoke to you, that you almost wanted to scoot closer again.
“Listen I-I just- you’re- I think I hit my head.” You had sputtered out, one of your hands flying up to feel against your head for any bumps.
“I checked already, you didn’t.” The fish boy had reassured you, pushing himself closer to you.
“I-I didn’t?” Your eyes were glued to him the whole time he had moved himself closer to him, you didn’t back away this time.
“You didn’t, I promise.” You flinched when he reached up to peel your hand away from your head, making him stop for a second, those pretty blue eyes of his robed over your face for another second before he pulled your hand away.
“So-so what? What happened?” He let go of your wrist, placing both his hands down on the sand, his eyes were yet to leave yours.
“You were gonna drown.”
“A-And you saved me?” He nodded, you let out a shaky breath. “So I’m not imagining this?” He shook his head this time. “Jesus, where are we?”
“By the lighthouse,”
“The lighthouse?! That’s like, what, four miles away? Goddamn.” You groaned, that explained why no one was around.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I-I guess.” You watched as his eyes trailed down to your bare legs.
“… I’ve never met a human before.” He mumbled.
“I’ve never met a mermaid- merman- uhm, fish boy, I dunno.” He looked you dead in the eye again for a few seconds, then let out a giggle and shook his head, you had smiled at him.
You had to admit that this strange creature was kinda cute, you didn’t doubt that he could probably overpower you, but he had been gentle with you so far. He stopped laughing as you stood up, watching the way the muscles in your legs flexed.
“Shit, my families gonna be wondering where I am.” You had told him, putting your hands behind your head and pacing around in a small circle.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to take you back.” You stopped your pacing, looking back down at him and the dumb smile he had on his face.
“You are?”
“I mean… yeah? Why would I save you just to leave you stranded?” He chuckled, you huffed.
“Well, thank you.”
He was a strong swimmer, that shouldn’t have surprised you, he had helped you swim along when you got too tired to do it. You had told him to just leave you at a spot along the beach that was secluded because it’s right where ships would dock and that you’d just walk the rest of the way back home. Before you had left, he had eagerly told you his name, you told him yours. The two of you had lingered for a few seconds longer than necessary, him in the water, you on land.
You felt like thanking Leon again wouldn’t be a good enough way to show your gratitude for saving you, you didn’t really know how to properly thank him yet, but you had suggested meeting in the same place the next day shortly after sunrise. Leon bit, eagerly.
You were surprised when Leon showed up the next day. And the day after that, the next day, too, and every day after. He’d bring you shells and sand dollars, you’d bring him human treasures (coins, candy, ice cream, anything).
Leon would let you look at him, because the more you looked, the more intrigued you became with him, and he liked that feeling. You found more blue scales littered across his arms, he let you touch them. You liked his tail a lot, all the pretty blue and tan scales that shimmered in the sunlight paired with strong fins that were rough to the touch.
You could spend hours talking to Leon, and you did, your family would ask you where you were running off to, you’d just say it was a boy in town, it wasn’t really a lie. He’d ask you about all the places you’ve been to on land, you’d ask him about the ocean.
Leaving was hard. You had promised him you’d come visit again, maybe even on your own a few times a year. But you had promised Leon that you would be back the same time next year. You’d never forget how he frowned and nodded his head, asking you for another keepsake. You gave him a bracelet you bought in town.
You had the whole year to look forward to seeing Leon again. When you arrived on the beach in 1998, you were almost certain he wouldn’t show. As far as you knew, mermaids didn’t have calendars, how would he know when a year passed? On the drive up you contemplated how long a year was to them, you almost gave yourself a nosebleed thinking about it. You would just have to ask Leon.
But Leon had shown, and he showed up with a grin on his face and the best shells he had gathered over the past year.
“What do you call those?” Leon had asked you, pointing a blue finger at the overgrown wildflowers sprouting out of the hill above you and him. You looked over your shoulder, sparing a glance to the purples and yellows of the flowers that gently swayed in the wind.
“Those? Those are flowers.” You said to him, taking another cookie from the ones you had baked and brought to him, still looking at the wildflowers. You quickly learned that if given the chance, Leon would eat just about anything, especially sweets.
“They’re pretty.”
“There are prettier ones.”
“There are?” You finally look back to him, he’s only a handful of feet away from you, the cookies and other treats you brought rested on top of a stool between the two of you. Leon was laying on his stomach, forearms keeping him propped up as his eyes locked onto you, gentle waves rolling over his tail and reaching your feet, the two of you hidden away at the part of the docks no one ventured to.
“Sure, sunflowers, snapdragons, lilacs, chrysanthemums, tulips… I could go on forever.”
“… Would you bring me some?”
“Of course.”
And you did, you brought Leon as many flowers as you could carry, he was worth a pretty penny for all of these flowers. You were no expert on plants, but the night before you brought him the flowers, you took out a book at the library on them, just to know each one’s meaning so that if he asked, you’d be prepared.
Leon asked about anything he could think of, he always did. You were the same, in a way. You’d never been all that curious about the ocean until Leon came into your life.
You watched Leon with a softness in your eyes you don’t think you’ve ever even looked at a boy with when he’d twirl the flower stem between his fingers and study each individual petal, you wanted him to look at you like that.
“I wish I could take these back with me.” Leon had mumbled to you, eyes still glued to a tulip.
“Maybe you can, I don’t know how well they’ll hold up in the water, though.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” His eyes shifted from the flower in his hand up to your face, his smile dropping a tiny bit. “These are beautiful, I don’t want to just remember them.”
You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to tell him that you couldn’t keep everything you wanted, but you knew that you were keeping Leon as close as you could and that telling him that would be hypocritical.
“I’ll buy you as many flowers as you want.” You told him before you could even finish the thought, but you meant each word. Seeing his face light back up made your heart skip a few beats in your chest.
“You will?”
“If it’ll make you happy.”
“Yeah, it would.” Leon had smiled at you, you got out of your beach chair and scooted next to him in the sand, reaching a hand out to run over his wet back before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders in a hug. Leon had gone stiff for a few seconds, your grip loosened on him, he took that opportunity to move and wrap his arms around your waist. He didn’t let you go for a long time.
Years came and went, your visits with Leon stayed the same. You spent most of your summer at the beach now, talking with Leon, swimming with him, eating with him, any excuse you could find to be with him, you were there.
August of 2004 is nearing its end, it’s late right now, you don’t know whether it’s before or after midnight. You’re soaked through to the bone, salt water clings to your cold skin as you lay on a beach towel. Leon is next to you, he’s never not near you when you’re at the beach.
Leon gets more and more handsome each time you see him. You’re not sure what’s going on under the surface of the water, but something has hardened him. His eyes are a bit colder, he’s gotten a bit stronger, he’s more serious about things.
You don’t think you ever really knew Leon, you liked to think you did, but he’d never be able to come into your world and you’d never be able to go into his without an oxygen tank strapped to your back. You had to settle for this.
Leon’s never mean to you, though. He still asks questions, he still brings you shells, he still loves flowers. He’s gotten more touchy, he likes your legs, you continue to like his tail.
Leon shifts beside you, rolling onto his side to face you, you do the same.
“When are you leaving?” He asks.
“I’m not sure yet.” You couldn’t stay at the beach forever, you tried to work jobs that were more lenient, but you still need to eat and have a roof to sleep under. Your family notices how you keep returning to the beach for longer periods each year, they think you’ve fallen in love. You have.
“Just be sure to say goodbye.” Leon says this each time you have to leave, you always say goodbye, you’d never just leave him without telling him you wouldn’t be back for a while. You don’t say anything as Leon sits up, reaching for a tulip from the bouquet of flowers you brought, you grab one as well.
It’s silent between the two of you, you’re picking off the petals of your flower, reciting “he loves me, he loves me not” in your head repeatedly, you haven’t done this since middle school.
“If I had legs…” Leon starts, you stop what you’re doing, pausing on a he loves me petal. “Would you take me with you?”
“Take you where?”
“Just with you. I just… I just wanna be around you for more than a few weeks.” Leon’s words both warm your heart and make it clench at the same time, you turn your attention back to your flower, picking off more petals.
“Of course I would. I’d take you anywhere you wanted.” Your eyes flick to his face, catching his smile.
“I miss you, y’know.” You stop again, he loves me not.
“I’m right here.”
“I mean when you’re gone.” Leon huffs beside you, letting his hands fall down to his lap, still holding the tulip. “I don’t like when you leave. Every single day for the past six years I’ve swam up to shore waiting for you, even when I knew you weren’t going to be there. You’re the first human I’ve ever met, I’m pretty sure you’re the kindest one out there, too. You can go anywhere you want in the world and I’d never know it. I just want to see you.”
“And I want you to come with me,” You admit with a shaky breath. “Believe me, I think about you everyday, I try and find things that I can bring to you, I try to be here more than I probably should be. If- If we were able to be around each other every waking moment, I’d spend my life with you.”
“… I don’t want to be in the sea anymore.”
“Leon, you have no idea how easy I wish it was for us.” You can feel tears pricking at your eyes, you look away from Leon, the only petal left on your tulip is he loves me.
“Would you ever move here? To the beach?”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“Then do it.” Leon meant it as a demand, but he said it so softly it sounded like he was begging. You toss your tulip to the side and look back at him, scooting closer, letting sand stick to your skin as you leave your towel.
Leon is still blonde, he’s still pretty, he’s still pale. His skin is still wet to the touch and you’ve come to love the scales plastered onto his skin, he’s not awkward when he holds you anymore, and there’s a different ache in your lungs when you’re around him that certainly isn’t you being waterlogged.
You bring a hand up to cup his face, his webbed hand closes around your wrist, leaning into your touch.
“I love you,” He murmurs against your palm, pressing a kiss to it.
“I love you, too.” You whisper to him. Leon doesn’t pull away from you, he never does until he absolutely has to. His hand slides up to latch onto yours, he holds it against his chest and leans in until his forehead is resting against yours.
“Please, say it again.”
“I love you.” You’re the one who leans in for the kiss. The summer you first met, you had found yourself laughing at the thought of kissing him because you thought he’d taste like fish. Instead, he tastes like salt water you’ve swallowed more than enough times, you’d drown in it knowing it tastes like him.
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hammysando · 9 months
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"When The Carnations Bloom" Jing Yuan x GN!Reader
AN: Here's the Arbiter General~ Felt kinda rushed at the end, but I'm more or less happy with how this came out! Once again likes and reblogs are appreciated! Don't be shy to leave a comment down below as well! <3 Reader is Gender Neutral!
Wordcount: 1.9K+ words~
Prompt: Reader has Hanahaki and hides it from everyone. (Except for Bailu.)
TW: Major character death (Reader), slight descriptions of blood.
Please read at your own risk!
More below the cut~
You were in the bathroom, throwing up those damned flowers again. They came up and out of your throat quickly and painfully, as you emptied out whatever you could. Tired, you leaned against the wall and glanced down at the bloodied and saliva-covered red carnations in your sink. Crinkling your nose up in disgust, you tried to regulate your ragged breathing by taking deep breaths. It proved to be difficult, but little by little, you calmed your erratic pulse. And little by little, the urge to break out into violent coughs ceased. Moving to get back into bed, you groaned softly as a knock sounded at the door. Vowing to murder whomever showed at your door, you wearily trudged over.
“(Name)! General is slacking off again!” A boyish voice shouted from the other side, drawing a long sigh from you. Ah, it was Yanqing.
Begrudgingly, the door swung open and you scowled slightly at the thought of having to drag Jing Yuan back to the Seat of Divine Foresight. Yanqing stood there, looking just as annoyed as you did, and the two of you shared a knowing look. The general was once again skipping out on paperwork. Stepping out in whatever you were wearing currently, you didn't care for the strange looks you garnered from your neighbors.
“Again?” You grumbled this softly, trying to ignore the flowers that started to tickle the back of your throat, just from the thought of Jing Yuan. Ah, how could you have fallen for someone so frustrating, yet so handsome?
“Again. I couldn't think of anyone to get him to do his work but you.” Yanqing said this apologetically but started to lead you away to where the general slumbered. The entire way, you grumbled about how you should start charging Jing Yuan. You were acting as his very own human alarm, after all.
The arduous journey led you straight to a certain garden. And lo and behold, the snow haired man slept soundly under an arbor of wisteria and an assortment of other flowers. You fought down the flowers that clogged your throat as your eyes found his form. Letting out a strained grunt, you stalked over to Jing Yuan, and prepared to smack him upside the head. Yanqing watched on curiously. He had seen this spectacle several times, but you seemed… Tired, to him. Less eager to smack the general. Though as soon as his thoughts started to wander, a resounding smack of skin on skin drew his light topaz colored eyes to the source.
Jing Yuan rubbed the back of his head, a relaxed and even amused smile on his face as he regarded you. Meanwhile, you frowned at him disapprovingly. It looked like a lion being scolded by a very unhappy sparrow. It was comical to any passerby, if it weren't for said lion being the General of the Xianzhou Luofu.
“Jing Yuan, how many times are you going to slack off?” You scolded him, expression softening. Ah, you could never stay mad at him. Those sincere honey eyes of his made you weak to your knees. Keeping the flower petals at bay, you simply crossed your arms and looked at him expectantly.
“Well my dear (Name)... If I didn't slack off, I wouldn't get a chance to see you everyday.” His deep voice said this with velvety smoothness as he chuckled and smiled at you fondly. “You know how boring it is to do paperwork everyday. What if I want to see my favorite-”
You flicked his forehead and sighed through your nose. His words caused the roots of the flowers in your lungs to tighten and contract. It hurt to hear those words from him. You almost wished he would stop saying such things. And to stop looking at you with such softness. Every action and look from the cloud-haired man fueled the slow agony you suffered.
“Seat of Foresight. Now.” You crossed your arm tighter as he sighed heavily and stood.
“Anything for you, little sparrow.”
The weeks passed on uneventfully, and your routine stayed the same. You coughed up those dreaded carnations, rouge color matching that of your blood. Then tiredly, you would drag Jing Yuan back to his office to fulfill his duties before going about your own day. It was troublesome at times, but it was comfortable. Admittedly, you enjoyed what little time you had with the general. After you retired from the frontlines, you gradually saw Jing Yuan less and less. This was one of the few ways you could see him still, without seeming a bother.
More weeks passed, and you seemed to grow weaker and weaker as the deep red carnations started to bloom. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to tell anyone of your predicament. Of your beautifully cruel disease, as it destroyed you quietly. The flowers came heavily now, blooming delicately in full.
One fairy night in summer, a knock on the door sounded softly. You weren't surprised. In fact, you had expected this to happen. You see, as your condition worsened, you distanced yourself. No longer, did you go to rouse the general from his slumber. No longer did you go to the Seat of Divine Foresight at the request of Jing Yuan, only to end up playing a game of starchess with him. Honestly, you had expected him to come sooner. You opened your front door, revealing the tall man. His golden eyes looked down at you, screaming their worry despite the calm smile on his face.
“Jing Yuan.” You spoke softly, acknowledging him.
“Little Sparrow.” He acknowledged you back, dipping his head toward you.
A silence ensued as you both stood there, gazing at one another. The sun had started to die in its grave in the sky, giving way to a plum sunset. And yet, nothing was said. Eventually, when the plum shades faded into inky indigo, Jing Yuan spoke. His tone was calm, with undertones of hope.
“Will you be there to scold me tomorrow?” It was a silly question that made laughter bubble up in your throat. The petals accompanied it, however. Fighting them back, you managed to crack a smile at the general.
“I'll be there.” His smile widened and his eyes melted into pools of honey, uncontrollably fond.
“Then I shall look forward to tomorrow. Until then, Little Sparrow.”
You sobbed softly to yourself that night as the stars made their nightly travel across the dark expanses of space.
Lady Bailu frowned at you deeply, anger and sorrow pooling in her eyes. Looking ready to cry, she turned away and sniffled violently. The Vidyadhara healer had just examined your condition, and her conclusion was not a favorable one. Fists clenched, she turned back to you.
“You're going to die very soon, (Name). If you don't do something. The carnations are in full bloom.. At this rate you'll suffocate on them and-.” The tears started to slide down her cheeks as she glared up at you. Your only response was a sorrowful smile.
“I'm a coward, Lady Bailu. I could never burden Jing Yuan.” You sighed.
“Then let me treat them. Let me get rid of them for you-” You cut her off, shaking your head gently.
“And lose the ability to love? To be considered alive?” Bailu could not fight against you. Instead, Bailu sobbed into your shoulder, gripping you tightly as you bent down and gently hugged her small, quivering form. You would miss her. Miss Yanqing. Aeons, you'd even miss Fu Xuan and her nagging. And Jing Yuan and his lazing about.
The following days, you spent packing your things into boxes and labeled them with names of the ones you wanted them to go to. Your precious sword collection would go to Yanqing of course. Qingque got your prized mahjong board made from the finest jade. And Jing Yuan received the first tea set you ever got. It had been a gift from the man himself. A retirement gift, as he would have put it. You knew he'd take good care of it. Saying goodbye to these things were bittersweet. But, you couldn't bring yourself to bear your soul to Jing Yuan. And you couldn't undergo Bailu’s treatment to rid yourself of these carnations in your lungs. All living things were built to love. Platonically or not. If you lost that feeling, could you even consider yourself ‘alive’, anymore? You sighed softly as you finished the last of the box. You were certain that they would be treasured and treated well. The last thing to do, was to pen the letters.
News of your death spread through the Xianzhou Luofu like wildfire. Many were in disbelief, while some mourned for you. Jing Yuan had been shocked by this, not wanting to believe it. His footsteps echoed on the pavement of your home’s walkway. No, he needed to see you. He needed to put the worries and fears in his mind to rest. You couldn't die. You were General (Name) (Last name), the Blade Singer. The one who slayed thousands of abhorrentions of abundance. There couldn't be a possibility you had died.
The air of your home was already going stale without your presence. Though it also carried the faintest wisps of your scent. Jing Yuan’s chest tightened with pain as he stared at the boxes with names. At the letters. At you, so still in your bed. Your eyes were shut peacefully as red carnations surrounded you, in full bloom. One could almost mistake you as simply sleeping. Bailu was at your side, sobbing, along with a Yanqing who clung onto your hand, head bowed as hot tears slid down his face and hit the floor with a dull thunk.
Your funeral was one lush with flowers, and held on a day as sunny as always. The summer fairy lights seemed to gather around your starskiff, adorned with different blooms, to send you off. A silent farewell. Jing Yuan watched with unsteady honey eyes. He had lost so much already. To the point where he assumed that losing would no longer hurt him. Alas, he had been wrong. Losing you, brought an indescribable hurt to him. Chest clenching painfully, Jing Yuan excused himself soon after your funeral.
Wandering aimlessly, the General found his feet taking him to the garden you had both met in when you were young. He had fallen asleep, and you were running away from your mentor. A wistful smile found its way onto Jing Yuan’s face before he slipped a letter out of his pocket. In your handwriting, his name was penned. Jing Yuan couldn't bring himself to open it before, scared that if he acknowledged your passing, you would truly disappear from this world. But now, steeped in an indigo peace, he found the courage to open the neatly sealed envelope.
It carried your scent and your presence in every line. Every brush stroke.
To you, who I loved;
This journey has been a strange blessing and curse. Though, I would rather not have had it at all. Unfortunately, it seems unrequited love has been my undoing. I'm sure Lady Bailu has filled you in on everything… And I would like to apologize for being such a coward.
I loved you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Perhaps it was my own fears that stopped me. I didn't want to burden you with my feelings. But I think most importantly, I didn't want to relearn the pain of losing someone I loved. We've lost so much, Yuan. I couldn't bear to lose you too. It was my own shortcoming. And it may be selfish and too late to say now, but...
I love you, Jing Yuan.
-(Name) (Last name)
Jing Yuan traced your penmanship with his fingertips. And a single hyacinth flower fluttered from his lips.
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nocturn-warrior · 6 months
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I ALL THE THINGS I'VE SHOULD DONE• 🔅
Alucard x reader
Summary: You are pregnant with your first born with Alucard and he has been overprotective over you, but during one night he a jerk tries to assault you. Alucard and your friends kick his ass.
Warnings: angst, SA mentions, abortion mentions, violence, jealousy at Greta, pregnancy, crying (but ends up with fluff), my bad grammar and text similar to a 12 years old's writting fanfic (english is not my first language) and bad dialogues.
Note: month of the three milks is may in medieval calendar, puiuţ is a nickname romanian parents call their babies and it means baby chicken. Most of the titles of my fics are based on Kate Bush's songs or song quotes. This one is taken from This Woman's Work
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You were so excited taking care of Sypha and Trevor's baby. With his mother's big blue eyes and his father's jet hair, he was the cutest thing in the world. Everyday, your heart beated faster to the thought of having a child of your own with Adrian; a little baby to light up your lives and bring joy to that enormous castle again, but it took months for you to start trying for it. There are too many children around, the village orphans would be jealous if we had a baby. You would squash off the idea to yourself with a silly excuse. Actually, you feared having a child would have a reverse effect. Alucard was still mentally fragile and you rememberer his breakdown nights, where he wouldn't close his eyes to sleep until the sunrise. But one day it happened, and when it happened you and Adrian couldn't contain the happiness, though your hearts were still full of doubts.
Immediatly you started to work on your unborn's room, asking the villagers carpenters to reform Adrian's childhood bedroom and redo the furniture just like the way he remebered, since it all was destroyed during that last fight. All except that little wolf plushie which you storaged in the wardrobe. Alucard was surprised when you, after the nursery was finally finished and you both were decorating it with paintings and toys Adrian crafted himself, came in with the plushie and placed it over the little crib. He could feel a tear forming into his eye in that very moment.
"H-how did you..."
He stuttered, holding the toy almost as if he was checking out to see if it was the original one. You chuckled and said:
"I kinda stole from you so many days before Trevor had his hero moment. It was too cute to stay all dusty and forgotten in a wooden box. What is his name, by the way?"
Alucard sniffles the toy for a while, it smells like childhood. Like comfort. Smells like a time that will never come back, but he is happy it will belong to his child now. For that, new memories will be builden up. He finally answers, sitting on the small bed with you and caressing the toy's fluffy head.
"Lupi"
The dhampir smiled as his eyes wandered across the bedroom: it was exactly like he remembered. With his drawing skills, it was easy to picture everything in paper and intruct the carpenters.
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After two long years, the village was finally built. Settled in the Belmont ground, it was full of small but cozy houses, a small fair, and a graveyard to honor their lost members. They were grateful for everything, and for that they decided to make a big celebration, in the day of their protector saint, Sara Kali, who is also the protector of pregnant women, for the exhiled and despaired ones as well.
You, Alucard and your friends were invited to such a beautiful moment, since you four had a big role in providing that people comfort and protection during and post the nightcreatures attacks.
It was 24 in The Month Of the Three Milks and you were 5 months pregnant. At first, Alucard was a little hesitant about attending at the festival; besides he cherishes the comunity so much, he feared you made too much effort or that all of these sounds, scents and feelings would be overwhelming to you. In his core, he wanted to go of course, but your safety was more important.
"Are you sure, my darling? You need to rest, you and the baby. Greta and the others will understand if you don't attend"
He tenderly argues, placing a hand on your waist as you look for a proper dress to use in the occasion in your big wooden wardrobe.
"Adrian,"
You drop the pieces of clothes to cup his cheeks, his amber droopy eyes looking towards yours as you explain. How could you take that pouty face of his seriously in that moment? You contain a chuckle.
"I am fine. My sickness doesn't affect me anymore, and some fresh night are will be good for me. You worry too much"
Adrian looks down presses his hand over your growing bump, trying to feel the child. He's been obsessed with it, constantly asking you if his puiuţ, as he constantly reffers to your baby is awaken and active.
"They are quiet this afternoon, my love."
You answer, placing your hand over his colder one. He says nothing, thinking about the festival and if taking you was a good idea until he breaks the silence:
"Let's find you a dress to wear, i will do your hair"
Your eyes light up, filling his heart with joy. Alucard adores to see you smile and beam with happiness, specially now that your mood changes so frequent. Any wrong word can cause an endless angst in this sensitive head of yours. He doesn't complain, though. After all you did for him in those dark gloomy nights, is not just his duty but also his wish to take care of you.
The two of you mess around your clothes, trying to find anything that feels comfortable enought for you to wear all night long. You try this, try that, but all of your formal gowns feel tighter and constraining around your stomach. Trying the last one with no success, you leave a deep sigh and plop yourself on the bed, laying with your limbs spread:
"Alright. Forget it. I accepted my fate: we are not going to the festival."
Though you had a silly smile in your face, Adrian could tell you were very upset with the fact no dress could fit you propperly now, and standing up in silence while looking at your hopeless expression, he takes a hard decision. Entering or seeing his parents' personal objects was a challenge he has been avoiding for two years. That's why most of them were gifted to the people from Danesti. They shouldn't be in there storaging must and moths. He gave it all, except some.
"Actually, i think there are still some dresses that belonged to my mother when she was pregnant. My father kept her belongings, and i couldn't get rid of them yet"
The joyful expression returns to your face as Alucard gives the problem a solving, you quickly sit up again and smile excitedly at him. For a while, you wonder why he kept exactly his mother's pregnancy dresses. Was it because he already planned everything? He could have given them to Sypha years ago. But you don't question it, you just nod and stand up, holding his hands.
"Thank you, Adrian. But you don't have to do it, if it's too hard to see her things again."
He gently shushes you, raising your hand and placing a wet kiss over it and ressuring he would be alright. Adrian tells you to stay in your bedroom while he looks into an old wooden chest, containing some of his parents' remaining belongings.
Minutes after, he cames in with a beautiful red dress, larger in the stomach and breasts part. It's oppulent silk bounces as he moves smoothly, placing it over the bed.
"Here. Try it on. I might do some adjusts on it's sleeves or cleavage if you want me to. We still have time"
He smiles at you, and standing up, you grab it to try on as he said. You inspect it's fabric, the dress has a slight musty scent due to all of these years it spent untouched, but it's alright. You quickly slip off your undergarments and put the dress on. Alucard expectates for the final result, arms crossed and eyes wandering across you changing body. It looks so beautiful, like a goddess of fertility.
"It feels tight in the arms"
You raise up your limbs, proving your point. The long sleeves restrict your movements. Lisa had a more slender figure, you guess, so it would really feel tighter in some of your body parts. Alucard approaches you, adjusting some pieces of the fabric and turning you around to check out the clothing
"I can cut them for you, my dear"
The solution comes without hesitation and you are surprised. He would modify his mother's relics just because of you. The hesitation came from your part
"Do you really mean that? Love, this belonged to your mother"
He playfully scoffs and lifts up the silky hem of the gown, helping you to take it off so he could make the necessary adjusts
"If there was something my mother was not attached to, was material wealth. Plus, it's for the wife of her son i am doing that. Don't you worry, it's just a dress"
Adrian removes the dress from you completly and with the lines and needles, he starts to work on the sleeves as you sit on the bed, waiting for it to be finished.
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One hour and a half later, your dress is finally adjusted and fits perfectly. Now, you two should take a shower, get perfumed and elegant for the event so important to your friends of the village.
Adrian does your hair as promised: he braids it and finishes with a ribbon matching the color of your dress. He ties your shoes and you help him folding the hem of his trousers. Now passing through the giantic doors of the castle, you two head to where the festival would be settled.
Arms interlocked and faces enlighted by the rising full moon light, you catch a sight of Sypha and Trevor sitting on a wooden bench, their son Simon is running around with the other kids.
"He is already running. Years ago this boy was just a..."
Words fail with excitement, seeing your nephew toddling and interacting with other children. Alucard completes the phrase, placing a hand on your bump.
"A little bean. Just like our baby. Soon, he or she will be joining them. Ooh, it seems like he is sticking a frog into his mouth!"
As Alucard finishes, you can see from a afar, Sypha rushing to stop the toddler of eating a frog. You giggle, already imagining the adaptations in the castle you and Adrian shall do to prevent your own kid to hurt themselves.
Trevor see you two approaching and, taking a large sip of his ale, he places the cup aside, facing you two.
"Hey, i thought you two wouldn't even come. Y/N, you have to try this ale. This shit is a drop from heavens!"
By his tone, you could tell your friend was already drunk. Alucard intervines with a calm, yet slightly sarcastic tone, cracking his whip:
"You are not trying to make my pregnant wife drink alcohol, are you, Belmont?"
"I forgot this detail"
He snorts, shrugging and turning his attention back to his beloved ale. Since Simon was born, Trevor and Sypha had made a promise he would never drink again, but today is a special occasion so they gave it a break. Talking about Sypha, she returns to the place, holding the willful Simon on her hip and smiling as she spots you and Alucard.
"I can't keep an eye off from this boy, it's like he is the exact copy of his father. I can't keep an eye off of him as well. Trevor, you are already drunk?"
She places her free arm on her hip, facing the sitting man who denies it, with his clearly intoxicated tone.
"Gods, i don't know why but i still love you that it hurts!"
She chuckles, sitting by her husband's side and releasing Simon from her arms before she finally talks to Alucard and you.
"Your bump is already so big, my dear Y/N! Bigger than last week. Please, cherish this moment, becsuse after that you will deal with back pains and ankle soreness due to this little human growing in there"
Sypha looks tenderly at your belly jutting against the red silk of your dress, and then at her own son who rushes to "uncle Lulu", as he calls your husband.
"But it's all worthy."
You were so excited by seeing your friends that didn't even paid attention to the festival decoration. It was beautiful, full of colors and good scents comming from the food. The women wore their traditional clothes, children ran around the big fire settled in the middle. The tawny moon enlighted everything, making the scenary even more breathtaking. Alucard conduces you to sit over the bench and accomodates himself by your side as well.
"What do you think, love?"
He whispers in your ear before kissing your cheek
"Beautiful. I love how their people, even after so many troubles and distress, found a way to put everything together"
The food scent was inviting, you spot a plump old lady holding a large plate of something you judged to be sarma, placing it over the large table along with other food. An increasing desire starts to take over you, and Alucard notices your fixated gaze. He chuckles, placing a hand on your belly before standing up.
"Are you two hungry? Stay here, i will get some food. Will you guys want something as well?"
He looks at Sypha who shakes her head, and at Trevor who says nothing but a grunt that Alucard reads as a no. You watch your dhampir walk graciously towards the table abundant with food, greeting the people as he approaches it. Resting your elbow on your knee and your chin on your palm, you don’t notice how head over heels you are until he comes back holding a bowl and speaking to you so sweetly:
“Here, my dear. It’s still warm”
Alucard sits by your side and you glance at the bowl full of sarma; a meal made of cabbages and stuffed with meat and rice, a typical dish of the people from Danesti. He grabs a forkful and takes it towards your mouth, waiting for your approval. You chew up the bite, the flavors exploding in your mouth. Alucard’s smile increases when you leave a satisfied groan and nod your head. He places the bowl on your lap, allowing you to occasionally feed him as you two chat with Sypha.
Some children from the village spot you sitting in there and rush towards the bench. As expected, they were quite excited about the baby on the way, always competing between them to touch your bump and feel their new “sibling”. After all those little ones passed through, you were happy to see them play around. You see in their faces, the future of that community like flowers blooming after a long winter.
“mother, mother!”
A little girl grabs the hem of your silky dress, trying to get you attention and climb up to your lap, followed by other three kids who fight for their places. Noticing the mess they could make, Alucard grabs the bowl you hold and tries to calm down the hectic little ones.
“Woah, woah, calm down, Delia, Elek. Let your mother breath.”
He adverts the two sassiest ones with his firm wet warm tone, gently pulling them away as they chitter.
“But father Alucard, I want to feel the baby!”
They argue and you can’t resist to their pouty faces, sensitized by your mood changes you intervene into Alucard’s rebuke, accepting their little excited hands to touch your bump. Your husband doesn’t protest back, he knows how stubborn you are and how these children love you, but as you allow Delia to climb up onto your lap, he can’t help but feel apprehensive the girl would make too much pressure over your belly. You can see the disappointed expression in her face as she roams her palm around your stomach but isn’t able to feel nothing.
“The baby is sleeping now.”
You whisper, tilting up her little chin and smiling pacifically. Alucard admires your ability to calm down these children, always so patient and warm. Delia seems to understand the situation and climbs down from your lap, turning to her little friends and communicating the state of your baby. Still, the kids wouldn’t give up and keep fighting for your attention. Alucard knows that gently pushing them away wouldn’t do much good and gives up, so he lets it be. Sypha, noticing your discomfort calls one the children’s name and says:
“why don’t you take little Simon to play around a little, Delia? Hey, but don’t allow him to eat any frog!”
She adverts as the little girl gives up on pesting you and quickly takes your nephew’s hand, guiding him off from Sypha’s lap.
“nor any cricket or moth!”
“Alright, aunt Sypha!”
The small group of children leaves the four adults alone, in a mass of giggling and screaming mess. You can breathe finally, laying your head over Alucard’s shoulder and watching them move away, secretly hoping your baby takes after you and your husband, and doesn’t come to be so hectic like their future peers. Chatting with your friends about your adventures and about parenthood, most of the conversations end up with mocking Trevor. You guys are really taking advantage of his intoxicated state to make fun of him. The weather is pleasant and the crackling fire sounds relax you.
You hate it, but a snort leaves your throat when one of the children approach again, rushing towards Alucard this time at least. The little boy has in his face the expression of the messenger of a king, and speaks while panting, leaving Alucard slightly worried. You fear something bad has happened, as well.
“father Alucard, Greta wants to talk to you.”
The request was not urgent or a life or death case, but the woman’s name has sent you some discomfort into your heart. It’s not like you hate Greta: she is not as close as Sypha is to you, but she is still a friend and you recognize the importance she has to the community, yet you can’t help but feel insecure whenever she is around. Even though it’s been two years since you and Adrian are together, even though you are pregnant with his child.
The blonde man places a quick kiss on your cheek, swearing he will come back as soon as possible and stands up, guided by the child towards the house Greta awaits for him. You observe him adjusting the collar of his shirt as he approaches, and you see Greta come out through the door. Even from meters afar, you notice and admit how gorgeous she looks in that traditional dress, her dark hair and bronze skin glowing under the moonlight, and the wind seems to bring her perfume to you. Almost if it was teasing your jealousness and provoking your feelings.
The leader greets Alucard with a tight hug and in this moment your heart slightly sinks. Ruminating about their possible conversation topic, you convince yourself she is just thanking him for the support he offered during these two years, and not complimenting his beautiful amber eyes or his soft blonde locks you combed yourself. She drags him to inside the small house, followed by other two villagers.
Your fists close, you start to bounce your leg in anxiety and Sypha who is much an observer, places her hand gently on yours and leans in, looking at you with tenderness:
“Y/N, calm down. He is going to talk to the elder ones. You have nothing to worry about. Greta isn’t stealing your man.”
She speaks in a laid-back tone, softly caressing your hand. You turn to face your friend but you can’t contain the concerned expression. Sypha chuckles a bit, not mocking at you, but finding your feeling extremely valid. You protest:
“I-I am not jealous, Sypha. I just---“
You can’t find better words to describe your feeling, so you just give in to Sypha’s moral lesson.
“You are jealous, Y/N. I can tell it by the pout in your face. But you know what? That’s completely understandable, dear friend. You are going through a lot of changes all over your body, it’s pretty normal.”
She leans in a little more and whispers in tone of secret:
“when I was pregnant, i argued with Trevor about anything. Even ale itself made me feel jealous of him”
Your friend takes your hand once again and continues:
“what you need to know, is that Alucard loves you no matter what. It wasn’t Greta who held him every night when his nightmares tormented him. It wasn’t Greta who took care of him at his lowest, my dear. Adrian loves you and he doesn't hide it"
You know Sypha meant every word, but why did you feel like Alucard would eventually get tired of you? Why did you think Greta would charm him with her strong sense of leadership and athletic phisique? You try to focus on something else ignoring the burning jealousy increasing and consuming your brain and on Sypha's trying to cheer you up.
You finally see Alucard step out from the cabin he entered with the leader of the village, his beautiful face beams with happiness as he chats something unhearable. Greta pulls him closer to where other young women beautifully dressed in those tradicional patterns organize themselves to start the dancing, he is probably greeting them.
The young men start playing the instruments, and the ladies dance in the rhythm. Seeing your husband idly moving his shoulders, you expect for the worst to happen. Greta takes him by his hand and starts teaching him how to move smoothly like the dancers, twirling around and expecting him to do the same. Adrian doesn't give a single glance at where you are sitting, he seems to be hypnotized by the moment.
You stand up and feel Sypha's tight grip on your wrist. You look down at her as she asks softly:
"Where are you going"
"I need to pee"
You force a smile and even if it was your intention, Sypha knew you were distancing for other motive. But she doesn't intervene, though. She just releases your wrist and focus on Trevor who seems to be in an alcoholic catalepsy by her side.
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You walk towards the latrine behind the village, holding up the hem of dress so it wouldn't get stuck in the ivies underneath. Leaning against the wooden thin wall of the cabine, you feel an increasing heat take over your face and thick tears drop down from your eyes. The music of the festival sounds distant, but you can hear the people's laughing and cheering.
The crickets and night birds seem to be the only spectators of your breakdown until you hear a hoarse, unfamiliar voice approaching you.
"Why are you crying, beautiful lady?"
You pull up your head from the wall, turning to where the voice comes. The light of a torch reveals the silhouette of a man who limps towards you, speaking in an alcohol intoxicated voice.
"A beautiful lady like you shouldn't be here, all alone. Did you know the nightcreatures are still around?"
He laughs in a mischevious tone, spitting on the ground. Getting closer and closer, he sees your face and his eyes widen up, a smirk forms again in his face:
"Are you the dhampir's wife?"
You've never seen that man at the village, he has been here due to the festival, you guess. You gulp, shortly nodding your head:
"Y-yes, mister."
The man stays in silence for a while, his eyes roaming through your body like he he was chosing a piece of meat until they linger on your belly.
"You are pregnant! You are carrying that evil's seed! Your husband's race only brought disgrace to this land. This thing you carry in your womb is cursed, it has a cursed blood just like it's genitor. You are nothing but catter for that demon to spread his offspring"
Your heart sinks at the tone he speaks to you, his intoxicated breath stinging in your nose as he approaches. You can't move, your body freezes as he says:
"I will put an end on it"
He completes with a sly grin, spitting on the ground again:
"And insert mine inside this pretty belly of yours"
You try to run, but the man grabs you by your middle and starts to run his filthy hands across your cleavage. Where is Alucard? You stood with him during this thundery years and when you need him most, he is entertaining himself with Greta. You fear for your child as the man's fingers press deeper against your skin.
"If you screm, it's gonna be worse. They can't hear you"
The man whispers and all you can do is whimper.
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All the while, Sypha watches the movement of people, the colors of the dancers' dresses twirling and the instruments sounds echoing to inside the forest. It's been 5 minutes and you didn't came back. She fears leaving you alone was a bad idea.
Her attention turns to Alucard who after chatting with the villagers and receiving their grateful compliments, happily heads to the bench eager to reunite with you. His face drastically changes noticing only Sypha (and a dozing off Trevor) are in there.
"Where is Y/N?"
He asks the woman, a concerned expression in his face, and he could see a slight frown or worry in Sypha's forehead, but she didn't want to alarm him by mentioning her concern.
"She went to the latrines minutes ago"
For a while, Alucard feels a little upset with your friend. She shouldn't have let you go on your own. He stays in silence for a while, deciding if he should go after you.
Your vision gets foggy by the tears, and you can't tell if the music stopped or you are just falling out of consciousness by the terror, but as the sounds of instruments finally fade completly, you scream in agony, hoping someone can hear you plead. Hoping Alucard could hear your plead.
Alucard's pupils shrink as he hears your recognizable voice and before Sypha could even ask him if he heard that too, he desappears in a figure darker than night, smoothly directing itself to where the sound of you came from. Sypha rushes after him, already closing her fists, ready to use her powers.
The drunken man slides his hand down to your womb, roughly pressing his thumbs onto your skin. You groan, tears falling down your cheeks. He is going to take the life of your so expected puiuţ.
The trees and people speed distorted as Alucard in his fog shape rushes in your rescue. His heart is filled with an unnatural rage, something he never felt before as he sees that filthy bastard hurting his beloved. Something similar to what his father might felt.
The dhampir materializes in front of the man, pushing him with anger against the stone wall of a house, the bastard couldn't even tell what was going on until he feels Alucard's piercering eyes, red as flames staring into his and his sharp fangs so close to his neck as he hisses like a serpent.
He was about to take his life when a sharp disc of ice cuts the bastard's skin. Alucard swiftly looks back and sees Sypha rushing towards you as you fall on your knees, sobbing. His attention then turns back to the man who feels the dhampir's fangs almost touching his throat.
"I am not marking this date so important for the villagers with your filthy blood. But get to know: if you touch my wife once again, i open your abdomen and wrap your guts around a tree with you alive."
This words doesn't seem to be spoken by your sweet Alucard. For a while, it feels like his father's anger for human kind took his mind and manifested phisically using his body.
He releases the drunk who limps florest inside and his eyes shift back to it's beautiful amber pigmentation, now filled with tears as he sees you broken on the ground attached to Sypha's shoulder, sobbing in shock.
"Shh... it's everything alright now, Y/N. He is gone"
Your friend rubs your back soothingly and helps you to stand up, but your arm never leaves hers until Alucard approaches, stretching his arms open to embrace you.
"Y/N! I am so sorry. I've failed you"
"H-he tried to kill our puiuţ..."
You whine and he rests his chin on top of your head, holding you tighter. He couldn't save his mother years ago, he couldn't save his father from his own madness. If he lost you to such an avoidable way, he couldn't forgive himself.
Sypha's heart sinks seeing her two friends in such a broken state. She hugs you both tightly and recomforts you, guiding you back to the festival.
No one of you including Trevor who was sleeping to the lullaby of alcohol had mood to continue in the village that night, going home was the only option. Your friends would sleep in the castle.
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You didn't exchange a word way back to home until you silently opened the doors of your chambers and slowly slipped off from your dress. In the oval mirror, you could spot the two marks caused by the agressor's hands. A lump forms in your throat again, it's been q while since you don't feel your child, you fear the worst happened.
Alucard cames in, wrapping his arms around you though he hesitated for a while. He kisses your cheek and kneals down in front of you, pressing his ear against your belly.
"Can you hear it? The heartbeat... can you still hear anything?"
You speak, trying your best to not to cry being so aprehensive about his answer. He lingers a little, shifting his position and lowing down his breath.
"I can hear it."
He looks up at you, a sigh of relieve leaves your body.
"Our puiuţ is safe."
Alucard stands up after placing a kiss on your belly and wraps his arms around you, wiping away your relieved tears. You hug him tightly, sobs muffled by his chest and his tears fall over your hair as well.
"That was my fault"
You silently climb onto bed after calming down from the overwhelming night you had, and after minutes, he finally breaks the silence.
"It was my fault. If you or our baby got hurt, it would be my fault"
You didn't want to rub salt into the wound though you knew the incident was directly linked to the fact Alucard left you. Placing a hand on his shoulder, you listen to his apologize.
"I should have known you would be pissed off with me because of Greta, but it was not my intention. Forgive me, darling. I promise i will never leave your side ever again"
He turns to face you with those droopy amber eyes, tears tangled between his long eyelashes and he blinks for them to follow their flow. You cup Alucard's cheek and gives him a ressuring smile. You couldn't be mad at him.
"Accepted"
Seeing Alucard have another breakdown was the last thing you wanted to see. He wraps his arms around you, hand resting on your belly like a shield as you sleep in a deep slumber, lulled by the wind knocking on the window.
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randomsufff · 16 days
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HEHAHBFKI More South Park doodles I think I’m going insane.
Actually this is kind of the product of me being liking South Park way back in high school but was too embarrassed to draw them when I was bored in class and now it’s all kinda flooding back 💀
Read below if you want to know more about my New Kid and my thoughts behind some of the doodles cause this turned out longer then I though 💀
Anyways- introducing my New Kid. No name cause I literally have no idea. Whatever the cannon name is ig- though I’d think it’d be funny if she was referred to New Kid by literally everyone like in game. I like the idea that a lot of people have with their New Kids that they liked the makeover section with the girls during the Stick of Truth a little too much. I also like it cause… uh… I didn’t play Stick of Truth. (The combat system is not my cup of tea) So it’s not until the start of TFBW does she know shes really a girl.
To give context to the top right drawing- I couldn’t remember the dialogue Wendy says in the alleyway if you say you’re a trans girl- but I do know what she says if your a cis girl (I always knew you were a girl) cause I did a second play through as a cis girl. And I don’t know if there’s supposed to be a huge time jump between the end of Stick of Truth and TFBW but I think it would be funny if it was just the next day- so combine these two fact to get “Wendy always clocked New Kid as a girl but NK just found out yesterday 💀”
Anyways- she’s such a cutie, I love her and her cool superhero outfit I gave her. Outside of the game- I’d like to think of her basically exactly how she acts in game. Mostly non-verbal, with the occasional zingy one liner, and just kinda goes along with the crazy shit the happens in South Park un phased. Like if she was in a episode- the plot would happen and she would be on screen, but wouldn’t say anything, and anytime another character would address her, they’d respond however as if she spoke lmao. Aroace, just like me, so she’s just friends with everyone (except Cartman) and vibes with everyone.
The mini Style comic I though of cause 1) I wondered if Kyle had the same elf ears as the other elfs did in game (again, never played and it’s been a while since I saw gameplay so whoops if it’s confirmed or whatever) and 2) I thought it would be funny if Stan was caught lacking and tried to /rp his way out of it (I wanted to add an extra bit where Kyle would be like “Oh, are our characters gay for each other??? (ARE YOU /SRS OR /J STAN)” and Stan would have to just “yes, and” his way out.)
The last three images were kinda of a stream of consciousness put on paper and made neat lol. I really like showing that all the costumes the kids wear are homemade and stuff- either stuff taken from their parents or visibly taped together etc- cause I think it’s charming. Anyways- I though Kyle’s little robe could be like one of his parents bath robe- and it would be a little too long for him to run without eating shit so he’d have to hike it up like a skirt/dress. Which lead to me thinking that Cartman would say some shit about that and how Kyle, who has a literal Golf Club, would smack his ass up. Which then lead to me thinking about how since Kyle’s the Elf King and Stan’s basically his right hand how he might lift it up wedding dress style if needed (/RP GUYS, RIGHT?RIGHT???) and how Cartman would react, which lead to that one JoJo meme cause thats literally how they’d retaliate.
Always- I’ll probably have at least one more post about South Park I swear. There was a period of time before I stopped watching (I gotta pick it up again) where I would doodle a bit of whatever was happening in the episode, each episode. Crazy I know, but not only did it improve my drawing skills but it helped me remember what actually happened in episodes cause I have shit memory and definitely don’t remember some of the episodes I watched. So I might redraw some of those- see if anyone can tell what episode they’re from.
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mrslectermoriarty · 6 months
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Headcanon Series #6 New because I wanted to update the original post but that shit wouldn’t let me, so I had to delete it.
Bradley Bradshaw grows up hearing story after story about his great father and when he starts speaking he asks questions about why his dad isn’t there and why they visit that stone all the time (it took Mav and Carole a whole minute to realise he meant Nick’s tombstone), so Mav sits him down one day and tells him with a surprisingly steady voice that his dad flew high enough to reach heaven and now he spends his time there, looking down them and whenever Bradley sees a jet in the sky, it’s his dad telling him how much he loves him. Bradley is barely four years old and that’s the only child-friendly version thing Pete can think of. He even draws a tiny F-14 on a sticky note and hands it to Bradley, telling him to look out for these. Bradley is delighted and starts drawing his own F-14s and with every year passing, he gets better and better. His first attempt finds its place on Nick’s grave, the second goes to Carole, then Pete gets one and by the end of the month the whole class of 86’ possesses Bradshaw-Artworks.
Bradley stops drawing after his fight with Pete and swears to never to touch a pencil again for that purpose but then Tom dies and Bradley deeply mourns his loss. He thinks back to the days when Pete had taken him in after his mother’s death and how Uncle Ice had been with them so often, he basically lived with them. His chest hurts with the thought of Pete having lost, what Bradley always had secretly been convinced was the love of his life and he thinks maybe he can make an exception for Tom. Because even if he despises Pete for pulling his papers, no one deserves to suffer this much alone.
So when Pete comes home from Tom’s funeral, he finds a folded piece of paper taped to his door and when he opens it, he is greeted with the sight of two quite good drawn F-14s, one coloured in silver and the other in red and blue. He frames the paper and hangs it on the wall across his bed, where it’s been hanging ever since.
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I am no artist, as you may notice. This is just kinda how I imagined it to look like. Feel free to draw your own version; I’d love to see how your ideas turn out!
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uniquevoidflowers · 4 months
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Y'all asked for it. Drawings and explanations under the cut of Legend, Wind, Warrior and Hyrule (just to be clear don't expect anything bc I dunno how to draw really):
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Starting with Legend (top left): The prince ofc. He's 17 in this au, and it's ok to ship him with Marin and Fable. The getup he has on in this drawing, he never wears when he sneaks out but when mostly when he's in the castle. He dyed half his hair. It was supposed to be red but it came out pink instead. He ended up secretly liking the pink though. Although not coloured atm, his outfit is red with the exception of his pants and belt. The little details on the sleeve are gold, his belt is brown. His pants are a creamy brown.
Little facts about him ig:
-Hates feeling vulnerable
-Fears being trapped or losing reality
-was very sickly as a child
-very good at many instruments; he enjoys learning them
-refuses to sing though
-wants to learn how to swordfight
-collector (he also enjoys collecting things)
-born in Castletown, Hyrule
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Wind (top right): He's 14 and has a dark brown eye colour. Lots of freckles. His shirt is a bright green. He likes blue more but his Grandma liked him to wear green, so he wears it to honour her. His pants are a simple brown. His Grandma, passed when he was 12, and his parents had been missing even before that. He now lives with Green, Red, Blue and Vio. Aryll, his sister, lives there as well.
More little facts:
-loves seafood
-picky about other foods
-protective of his younger sister
-Aryll WAS kidnapped before :)
-used to pretend to be a pirate as a kid, still loves reading about them
-loves acting
-optomistic
-chaotic
-hates cold tempatures
-fears the dark, and losing his sister again
-loves bugs
-loves thunder and rain
-born in Outset, Hyrule
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Warrior (bottom left): He's 22. His armour is a uniform, but the scarf was made by his mother before she passed away. The back of his scarf has a signature by her. He rarely parts with it. The uniform was inspired by botw's Hylian knight armour. He's Legend's personal knight, promoted after helping greatly in the war. Armed most of the time.
Little facts:
-Has 5 other sisters
-good with kids
-twins with one of his siblings, Linkle
-was popular among many ladies when he first joined knighthood
-also hates cold enviroments
-fears being hated, or failing
-has a 'soldier' mode where he doesn't show his emotions and is very calculative and serious
-born in Castletown, Hyrule
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Hyrule: He's 16. It's ok to ship him with Dawn. His clothes were made by Blue, they're a darker green. Messy hair, never takes care of it. (even if he needs to) and gold outlines on his clothes. He's a great friend of Legend's, meeting him a year ago.
Little facts:
-timid around strangers
-had an older brother but he ran away awhile ago
-very good at survival
-has magic abilities that he discovers later in the story
-looks up to Legend
-kinda skittish and jumpy
-bashful
-self-worth issues
-born in Selina of Calatia
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i was gonna wait until i finished the bitd and deadlands line-ups before posting these, but i'm not gonna get those done before the final season starts, so might as well bite the bullet now XD woohoo, oxventure d&d designs! i'll go into further detail below the cut for all of my thoughts on these designs and reasoning for smaller details, but for now, just know that i will never draw a cape. i simply cannot do it. hoods and weird draped fabric or nothing XD
okay i put like. waaay too many thoughts into a lot of these small details so im gonna allow myself to geek out here X3 firstly - though they're way too small to read properly, i did the little symbol eye shines i used in my first art for them! dob gets music notes, prudence gets fire, corazón gets hearts, and merilwen gets flowers. i usually draw egbert's pupils pretty thin to resemble a reptile, so he just gets normal eye shines, but i probably could have given him some here... he would get suns if i thought of that
dob - muscular in a wiry and dehydrated way, lol, hence having a more defined stomach/hips despite not being as strong as prudence or egbert. he has sad/down-turned puppy dog eyes at all times because i think the big-eyed endearing look is fitting for him, though i do make them darker blue than his canonical baby blues because i just... like how dark blue eyes look, lol. i'm pretty sure he canonically has the stomach scar, and obviously his facial scar has always been there, but i gave him a couple other ones just to show that hes pretty reckless. and he gets freckles because even though they arent mentioned in the dragon dogma's video, i noticed luke added some and. i like freckles a lot
prudence - i've said this before, but i love the thought of pru getting muscular after the werebear bite <3 i just think she should be a little bit hench. as a treat. once again, the heavy stomach scarring comes from the dragon dogma's video, because i found their design choices in that really fun. i change prudence's outfit the most out of any of the characters, just because her canonical outfit confuses me. i'm really bad at understanding/drawing fantasy wear as is, but her fit... i'm lost entirely XD so i free-balled a bit. her inner sleeves that hook around her fingers are based on jane's various prudence looks, and then the looser outer sleeve is just because i love prudence with a dramatic sleeve. originally the colors were closer to her canon outfit, but it just looked messy without all the details of the original, and then i tried red like jane's prudence looks but it didn't contrast enough with her skin. so i restricted them to just deep purples and black with pops of gold and dark magenta!
corazón - what can i say besides. transgender. LMAO honestly though, besides adding the top surgery scars, i just really like his canon look. i simplified the details, obviously, but i really love his big coat and his tall boots and the earrings and the black-on-black-on-black of it all. i didn't particularly feel like drawing hats when i was doing this, lol, so i stuck with a red bandana instead. the beads that are strung from it are black, red, purple, green, and yellow to match their guild's canonical color associations/the colored name plates they get in later seasons :] because corazón is the sentimental sort, even when he won't say it. also he gets a little cateye for his eyeliner, i dunno if i've ever said why i do that before haha
egbert - egbert my dearly beloved. literally just his canon look except he has la vache mauve on his tunic instead of fire! and the nose spikes i give him, i guess, but i forget those aren't canon. i actually usually draw him in mike's egbert get up, with the black robes and the golden dragon sigil, but i kinda wanted to move away from that to lean more into the end of legacy of dragons, where egbert fully commits to never going back to the dragon d'or. also i just love drawing little cow heads <3 also! i like the idea that rather than typical scar tissue, dragonborns grow thicker scales over places where they've been injured. so the thicker patches of small scales on egbert's body are meant to be scars! including his kidney scar, lol. the larger scales and the ones on his face were always there though, that's just dragonborn biology baby
merilwen - if i said i based merilwen's body on cartoon bears, would you forgive me... i just think it's cute LOL tummy <3 for the final dragon dogma's video reference, that's where her freckles and tattoos come from. ellen was right, merilwen with floral tattoos fucking rules. who am i to deny it. as a hairy woman myself, i also like making merilwen a hairy woman. she's a hippie, she would NOT shave. i also really love the red earrings she wears in her canon art, so i tried to carry that through to some other small parts of my drawing for her, and landed on the bands she has on her pants as well as the odd feather for her arrows. fun archery fact, for those who may not know - in modern archery at least, you usually will have a differently colored feather (or for my arrows, rubber fins lol) that indicate how youre meant to string the arrow! so i took advantage of that to give merilwen some more red, hehe
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fullstcp · 5 months
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"Lover" by Taylor Swift Sentence Starters
I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED
"I lived in the shade you were throwing until all of my sunshine was gone."
"I couldn't get away from ya."
"I forgot that you existed."
"I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't."
"It isn't love, it isn't hate, it's just indifference."
"I would've stuck around for ya."
"Would've been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show."
CRUEL SUMMER
"I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below."
"Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes."
"What doesn't kill me makes me want you more."
"It's a cruel summer with you."
"I'm not dying."
"We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times."
"We're not trying."
"I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone."
"If I bleed, you'll be the last to know."
"I'm drunk in the back of the car."
"I cried like a baby coming home from the bar."
"Said, 'I'm fine,' but it wasn't true."
"I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you."
"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"
LOVER
"We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January."
"This is our place, we make the rules."
"There's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear."
"Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?"
"Can I go where you go?"
"Can we always be this close?"
"I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you."
"My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue."
"All's well that ends well to end up with you."
THE MAN
"When everyone believes ya, what's that like?"
"I'm so sick of running as fast as I can."
"I'm so sick of them coming at me again."
"If I was out flashing my dollars, I'd be a bitch not a baller."
"If I was a man, then I'd be the man."
THE ARCHER
"I say I don't want that, but what if I do?"
"I've got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you."
"I never grew up, it's getting so old."
"Help me hold onto you."
"Who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?"
"All of my heroes die all alone."
"They see right through me."
"Can you see right through me?"
"All the king's horses, and all the king's men couldn't put me together again."
"All my enemies started out friends."
I THINK HE KNOWS
"I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans."
"It's like I'm 17, nobody understands."
"He/she/they got my heartbeat skipping down 16th avenue."
"I wanna see what's under that attitude."
"I want you, bless my soul."
"He'd/she'd/they'd better lock it down or I won't stick around."
"Good ones never wait."
MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE
"You know I adore you."
"It's you and me, that's my whole world."
"You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes."
"It's you and me, there's nothing like this."
"We're so sad, we paint the town blue."
"Voted most likely to run away with you."
PAPER RINGS
"Now I wake up in the middle of the night and watch you breathe."
"Kiss me once cause you know I've had a long night."
"Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright."
"I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings."
"You're the one I want."
"I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this."
"I'm with you even if it makes me blue."
CORNELIA STREET
"We were a fresh page on the desk filling in the blanks as we go."
"I hope I never lose you, I hope it never ends."
"That's the kinda heartbreak time could never mend."
"I get mystified by how this city screams your name."
"I thought you were leading me on."
DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS
"Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts."
"I get drunk, but it's not enough."
"The morning comes and you're not my baby."
"I look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up."
"I can't pretend it's okay when it's not."
"What once was ours is no one's now."
"The only thing we share is this small town."
"You said it was a great love, one for the ages."
"If the story's over, why am I still writing pages?"
LONDON BOY
"But something happened, I heard him/her/them laughing."
"They say home is where the heart is, but that's not where my mine lives."
"Darling, I fancy you."
"I guess all the rumors are true."
"Babe, don't threaten me with a good time."
"Just wanna be with you."
SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER
"I didn't tell you I was scared."
"Desperate people find faith."
"I know delusion when I see it in the mirror."
"You make the best of a bad deal."
"I just pretend it isn't real."
"I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try."
"I hate to make this all about me."
"Who am I supposed to talk to, what am I supposed to do, if there's no you?"
"This won't go back to normal, if it ever was."
FALSE GOD
"We were crazy to think that this could work."
"Remember when I said I'd die for you?"
"I can't talk to you when you're like this."
"I still do it for you, babe."
"We might just get away with it."
"Religion's in your lips even if it's a false god."
"I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me."
"Hell is when I fight with you."
"We'd still worship this love even if it's a false god."
YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN
"You are somebody that I don't know."
"You need to calm down, you're being too loud."
"You're coming at my friends like a missile."
AFTERGLOW
"I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue."
"Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves."
"Why'd I have to break what I love so much?"
"I don't wanna do this to you."
"I don't wanna lose this with you."
"It's so excruciating to see you low."
"Tell me that you're still mine."
"Tell me that we'll be just fine."
"Tell me that it's not my fault."
"Tell me that I'm all you want."
ME!
"I promise that you'll never find another like me."
"I know I never think before I jump."
"I know that I went psycho on the phone."
"I never leave well enough alone."
"Trouble's gonna follow where I go."
"I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me."
"I know I tend to make it about me."
"I never wanna see you walk away."
IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND
"Wanna hang out?"
"Yeah, sounds like fun."
"It's nice to have a friend."
"You've been stressed out lately, yeah, me too."
DAYLIGHT
"My love was as cruel as the cities that I lived in."
"There are so many lines I've crossed unforgiven."
"I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye."
"I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you."
"I don't wanna think about anything else now that I thought of you."
"Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky."
"I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked."
"I once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden."
ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE
"Your past and mine are parallel lines."
"Every dead-end street led you straight to me."
"Now you're all I need."
"Teenage love taught you there's good in goodbye."
"I wanna teach you how forever feels."
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py-dreamer · 7 months
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MY Wish rewrite pt2:
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Hai there! back again! Ok so. Without further ado, let's carry on with the show shall we?
I just want to clarify, Asha gets big sister vibes. Like Cinderella or Tiana or Mirabel, she's very supportive and emotionally available
Ok so y'know "At All Costs"? Upon first view, I interpreted it as a song between a parent and child since I refuse to see the alternative between king and 17 year old. SO we take that and I want to make something like a...leitmotif I think it's called?
At the beginning I want Magnifico and Amaya to sing a lullaby to lil Asha looking over their new kingdom. I want it to have like a leitmotif (similar melody) to at all costs. Obviously change the lyrics to something appropriate but keep the theme of 'promising to ALWAYS love someone' and the theme of 'at all costs' as well as 'protection' and have softer instrumentals
We could have something akin to "You'll be in my heart" from Tarzan or "Remember me" from Coco
Have Asha one day find out of the outside world through an old book and confront her parents who don't see the issue and shut her down
she hears them discussing that when they take her wish on her birthday, she'll be more docile and easier to bend to their will and be their perfect obedient daughter
Learning she's basically about to be stripped of free will runs into the woods and sings her song and wishes on a small star
(And of the love of cheese, give the songwriter more than 3 weeks! let them be able to adapt to the rest of the movie)
I saw this concept of when Aster descends they're in their plushie form then Asha accidentally plants a kiss on their cheek and BAM they suddenly turn into their mischevious shiny self I wanna keep that
I want a scene where Asha early on tries out pixie dust. She's wobbly, unconfident and flying everywhere like the start of her character arc.
this would mainly be based off that flying/dancing in space scene in Wall-E...only much more chaos and Asha is doesn't really trust Aster to this extent atm
Have Aster be able to rally a crowd in a heartbeat. He's so charismatic and enchanting he draws everyone's attention around him; they are virtually never quiet
He acts very confident and gets easily distracted, trying to turn everything into a game and kinda looks down on humans at first being easy to entertain and understand. After all he's watched them from afar for Centuries! this should be a piece of cake!
and at first it is but then Aster and Asha end up finding one of the friends/dwarves somehow. Doesn't have to be all of them, just 1 or 2 (hell it could even be Asha's 'grandpa' Sabino they're not related here though)
Asha gets the idea to help someone get their wish by themselves without Magnifico's help, it can be very simple like perhaps winning a small competition,
Eventually the person starts to doubt themselves and remembers something sad and Aster's magic starts to fade, he panics and tries to cheer the person up by telling to forget about these sad feelings, using jokes to make them laugh ect like Joy from Inside out but it doesn't work
Aster keeps panicking, the person's still sad and he starts to fade, Asha notices this and tries to comfort the person but not by ignoring their sadness but embracing it. Aster at first is annoyed but notices that when they talk their feelings out, the person does feel better and feels confused
Asha reminds the person of something, telling them to keep their chin up or something just being very patient and supportive and Aster marvels at this
for the first time in his appearance he's quiet at this. They thought that humans were simple creatures with greedy simple wishes without much complexity but witnessing this small connection has them reflect a little.
(we see our class clown start to fall for our sunshine girl)
The person regains hope and tries again, just when everyone including Aster thinks the person is going to lose, (except Asha, she believes) the person against all odds succeeds and our protagonists marvel at the posibillities of people achieving wishes without magical intervention but with just a little support
through Aster's magical shenanigans and a bit of carelessness, a barn in the forest is set on fire
this catches the attention of the royal couple since there hasn't been a dangerous incident like this in Rosas since its creation
the two witness this and Magnifico in particular is shaken
we witness flashbacks of how horrible the burning of his home lands were, we see the trauma and for the first time in decades, the king feels weak.
through Amaya's levelheadedness she puts out the fire, settles everyone down, tells everyone not to worry for there is nothing she and her king can't handle then pulls her husband aside to comfort him in private
we see her support him when he snaps and tells her they had to go back to the castle
they had been aware of the landing of the star but in their hubris, they tell themselves they'll worry about it later
at the castle the two fret over the safety of their kingdom and Magnifico admits he felt weak before his wife tells him then they needed to do something about that.
using their magic they create magic guards to scourge the kingdom and find these perpetrators and make the guards menacing and scary
something akin to the shadows of Dr Facilier or the evil spirits of Rasputin (from Anastacia not Ra-Ra-Rasputin), have some fun with the imagery
back with our protagonists, they camp in hiding, the person they helped included since they were spotted with them, its night and Asha is very worried
she knows how powerful her parents are and fears what will happen to them, especially Aster. So she stands guard for the night, telling everyone not to worry and rest while she stays on guard
it gets late and Aster still finds Asha awake, they worry about her and tell her to sleep that they will be safe
to help her rest, Aster and Asha share the names of the stars and constellations to each other, their human given names, their stories ect and Aster tells Asha of his parents, the two stars to the right, Raymond and Evangaline (I love this idea) Asha slowly falls asleep on his shoulder. She is lulled to sleep to the tune of a twinkling lullaby
then in the dream world, she finds...Aster? And they can talk?!
its like a more ethereal version of Rosas, where Asha's heart lies but more magical like the concept of fairy land or the fae
You see, in the mortal world, humans can't understand the tinkling language of Stars but in the world of dreams is where the humans and wishes are connected because: "A dream is a wish your heart makes" (it makes me squeal and cringe to make that reference)
Asha asks Aster about when he was all quiet and he mentions, he didn't really believe in humans at first and asks the princess what she sees in them, like she said they are all reliant, ignorant sheep who rely on her parents and seem happy so why go through all this trouble
she answers how everyone has potential and deserves a choice and humans are much more complex than he thinks, we see that fondness in her eyes and a twinkle of a fondness for her in his
then Aster asks Asha had she ever thought of what she wanted outside of the people of Rosas. Cause the wishes he's seen are mostly selfish or for one person's benefit and she confesses how sometimes she's so worked up about everyone's wants she feels selfish about desiring support and attention herself and Aster affirms to her that she is one of the most selfless, interesting humans he's ever seen and if anything she deserves all the love her parents get due to her willingness to comfort everyone, then we have a peaceful quiet moment (Aster most definetely blushes and looks away)
good feelings all around
Then everyone's favourite...AT ALL COSTS BABY WOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(SEE I TOLD YOU I'D WORK AT ALL COSTS IN HERE SOMEHOW)
NOW we have the cinderella, whole new world, howl's moving castle floating dancy scene we've all been waiting for
I want these two to dance in the air using pixie dust, it should appear light and airy as all hell and they should be having fun more than anything.
Have their clothes bounce a bit to show that floatiness
I WANT ASTER TO BRIDE CARRY ASHA AT ONE POINT (or other way round I don't mind) AND PUT AN ASTER FLOWER IN HER HAIR
MAKE THIS TWINK KISS HER HAND ON ONE KNEE, MAKE THIS HIMBO A GODAMN GENTLEMAN LIKE A KNIGHT
GIVE ASHA A PRETTY DRESS MAKEOVER, SPARKLES, GLIMMER SHINE EVERYTHING!!! SHE'S A PRINCESS WHO'S CELEBRATING THE 100 ANIVERSARY OF DISNEY
taking a pause cause Tumblr told me so
regardless of the design, she should have a show stopping dress, something memorable at least, change up her hair a little
and to show her gaining confidence, give her a crown she'd been denied all her life
I want her to give the vibes and shock us like when we saw the live action 2015 cinderella dress. It doesn't have to be big and poofy but it has to be memorable and evoke that same magic
Aster gets down on one knee and swears to help Asha achieve her goals and protect her and Asha swears the same
Anyways after that whole dance sequence, Aster wakes up first, they smile at Asha still asleep and want to find a flower for her
they leave and go to find a perfect flower for their princess but out of no where get captured by the magic guards sent by magnifico
Asha and the friend hears the distressed jingles of Aster and go to help, the guards are scary as all hell and they have to hide
Show off Asha's wits, magical capabilities and bravery by having her come up with a plan, jump into action and use the magic she's never actually practiced and have Aster be amazed at how such a shy girl would jump into the line of fire to protect those she loves
the guards are forced to leave, our main duo make their escape and decide if they want to stand up to the tyranical rule, it was now or never since they've been spotted
the guard return to the palace with nothing in hand, the two are starting to lose their grip on sanity, their trauma and anxiety of this unforseen force could be their downfall and now there was a rogue magician helping the star?
NOW we have the villain song (and for god sakes disney use a MUSICAL songwriter not a pop songwriter for your MUSICAL ANIMATED MOVIE)
instead of a dumb solo by Magnifico about how he lets his citizens live for free and stuff, we get a moral conflict duet about the issue at hand
have the book call out to them, tempting them, and the other trying to snap them out of it but it fails
we could have something honoring Hellfire with that intense choir and the two convinced they're in the right, descending into madness
have intense colors, play with shadows and that temptation where they have to weigh the risk of this evil magic or sucumb to this new magic, keep the theme of protection
have them repeat to themselves, this is for the sake of the people, if they relinquish control, the kingdom will fall into chaos, the people NEED them ASHA needs them
have them bring up news of some magic shenaniganary, their people are questioning them and they say how their 'children' are misguided and their fragile minds need to be protected
use the leitmotif of At All Costs at one point maybe to highlight this deep devotion and love twisted into something dark and obsessive to commit to their duties by whatever means
Meanwhile Asha and Aster rally up the townsfolk, Asha takes the lead this time and use the friend as living proof they don't need someone else to dictate their desires, that there is more to life and it's so much more rewarding when you work hard for your achievements
we have a war song like in the movie, the people vs the royals, Aster gifts Asha a magic wand, so she can practice her magic
then we have an epic battle all of Rosas banning together in unique ways to get their wishes back but the villains this time have the upper hand
they discover Asha is working on their side and are shocked and betrayed, rage boils and bubbles in them at the traitor who've they've sheltered and raised for years
they tell her one more time to put an end to this nonsense, give them the magic impostor and they can all return to normal
Asha tells her parents no for the first time but then they use their magic to threaten the people of Rosas
Seeing Asha so distressed, Aster summons magic for a very powerful attack, Magnifico and Amaya do the same when Asha really notices everyone at a real risk of dying and even if one party wins, there will be many casualties
she tells them to stop and asks her parents, if she gives up this rebellion, if she gives her magic up altogether, will they leave the people and Aster alone? She offers up her wish for her people to be happy and safe
they agree, Aster is disapointed, tells her not to give in, think about the freedom she wants but Asha sees no other choice
Magifico says he'll leave Aster alone but just as Aster turns his back, he sends out one lethal shot which Asha sees and blocks with her own body
her parents are horrified, after all they did, after all they sacrificed to protect their little girl, eventually she was turned to stone by their own hands
Aster is distraught, he is in tears as he watches his princess slowly freeze into stone as she smiles and whispers to him
"I will protect you at all costs..."
In anguish, Magnifico sends out one more spell which Aster uses Asha's wand to deflect back to husband and wife
Idk how they die, maybe in a burst of sparkles, maybe turned into stone as well and pushed off the edge but personally my favorite disney villain deaths are the ones caused by the villain's own actions (think Clayton hanging himself in Tarzan), yea I want something like that
then the people all congregate and all wish for their princess who sacrificed everything for them to come back and through Aster's magic, she does!!
wooo yay!!
anywho, the day is saved and Asha fufills her wish to help others by becoming the fairy godmother because sometimes some wishes require a little push
but Aster must return to the sky and we get a bittersweet ending between our lovebirds
Aster wishing to inspire people and light their way, becomes the morningstar who rises before the sun
The kingdom of Rosas will always have a special place in Asha's heart but now she lets the people explore the world to learn for themselves what they want, let them work hard and stays to lead the remaining Rosas citizens to teach them of the outside world
she uses her parent's old office to practice magic and in the credits we see a sequence of the people she helps
and finally when she goes to sleep and appears in the dream world, we hear a familiar voice behind her and she smiles (like when Gwen approaches Miles at the end of into the spiderverse)
Ok woo! what a mouthful
the goat?
ehh, we won't miss much. No talking goat, the animals can be sentient and help out but no butt jokes please.
Also Aster can talk to animals, cause magic
I understand the idea of making the movie look like a digital painting and a 2d look and it looks decent enough but for a disney movie? A 100 year aniversary no less? It looks cheap. They specifically didn't use motion blurr but then it just looked like a Tv show and cheap
For my hypothetical Wish, do something stylistic that looks purposeful like Puss in Boots TLW rather than it just looking unrendered or hell take a page out of Klaus' book use 3D models and make it look 2D
But anyways that's all from me, I don't look forward to Moana 2 but hope you enjoyed!
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just-a-carrot · 2 months
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Hello Carrot!
Ok so I was the anonymous poly asker but since I wanna draw some of the Au’s I yapped about I don’t see a reason to ask anonymously anymore.
that and I was originally soo terrified of asking a question cause I’ve been in many many toxic fandoms (I had to be hyped up to even originally ask my question )
First of all, this fandom has been one of the nicest and most respectful fan bases I’ve ever encountered.
Second, Ow was one of the first media’s to ever make me shed a tear I honestly loved everything about Ow (I also developed I mini obsession with Jerry, that and I sounded like an absolute crazy person playing the game while on call with friends and during arc 5 I out of nowhere yelled “NO MOTHER JERRY”)
But the reason I wrote Is because I got an Au idea and ist been plaguing my mind all day.
Basically at the end of every arc Iggy wished for smt and the two that stuck with me where the wish he never existed and the wanting to make his friends happy one.
And in the Au that popped up he kinda gets that wish with everyone waking up back at home with like a déjà vu feeling and since I think bucks ended up there too ig the reason she goes to wonderland is to save their kid.
They all end up in Wonderland at the same time with the feeling of wanting to find smt and end up hearing a conversation of one of the bunny soldiers scolding someone for exploring all by himself and that dinner would be soon.
Fast forward and their at the town and find the younger versions of Bucks and Gidget and they offer to take them “home” witch is similar to Gidget’s house in arc 5 but with the downstairs area being filled with toys and plushies with caretaker bunnies running around and the upstairs being more nicer and put together kinda like an apartment
They they end up meeting Iggy who’s like also kind of a caretaker with him occasionally joining the kids for dinner or to play games with them on their request (which refers slightly back to the wanting to make all his friends happy wish)
But the others want him back of course, which would lead to like a minor conflict of him not wanting to leave the kids but also wanting to make Wonderland safer because it was not safe when he first entered etc.
I’d dunno how I’d end it might make a comic about it cause I feel like there’s some potential in the Au I’ll have to see.
BTW SOO SORRY IT BECAME THIS LONG !!
I’ll most likely take a brake of asking questions (and also learn to yapp less) to focus more on drawing Ow stuff until I get a good grip on how to draw everyone.
Again soo sorry for yapping this much 
ahhhhhh i'm sorry you felt nervous!! i get it though it's really hard for me too to reach out or message someone / send in an ask, etc.
i never mind long asks! though i don't always know how to respond very well all the time lkdjfad so you'll have to sometimes forgive me. and hahaha i'm really glad you liked jerry!!
that sounds really interesting. like an AU where somehow the kid versions of them are also there in wonderland or something?? unless i'm misunderstanding. admittedly the "make my friends happy" wish was the wish he made AS a kid (and why he's now stuck in loops trying to make them all happy, except that he can't), but i could see like, some interesting possibilities where it somehow becomes even more morphed and convoluted with the different versions or something, perhaps if like, there just get to be too many different timelines so they all start to converge perhaps. i've never thought about something like that before
a version of wonderland that's NOT all messed up even when they're adults would be particularly interesting to explore. well, i suppose that's what bucks, gidget, and orlam experienced at first when they first went in LOL
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misc-obeyme · 3 months
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RAHHHH AKWKWJDJF I DID IT, I FINALLY BEAT OG !!!! WITH LESS THAN AN HOUR TO SPARE BEFORE NEW LESSONS
except hard lessons
PRACTICALLY A YEAR AND HALF OF CONSISTENTLY PLAYING (AND LIKE FOUR YEARS SINCE I FIRST DOWNLOADED THE GAME), IT'S DONE !!!! IT'S OVER !!!!
and i feel strangely bittersweet. man, not to get sappy but like. i never would've expected to be where i am now. I've made so many cool friends ?! I'm back into drawing and I started writing ?! I'VE GOTTEN OVER MY FEAR OF COMMISSIONING PEOPLE, AND HERE'S ONE I LITERALLY GOT TODAY !! (FROM VINYXZZZ ON TWITTER)
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like as crazy as life feels, obey me has been a constant the past while and has a chokehold on me, and my favorites have tumbled around on the list. But Mammon has been there since day one. I will be old and gray and his photo will be faded in my wallet. but maybe I won't have a wallet anymore so it'll be in a picture frame instead.
RAHH I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL OKAY I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEW LESSONS TONIGHT
minor spoilers ahead for lesson 80??
also the fact that only solomon remembered Mammon's name like 🤨 why's that mister sorcerer man? because you're in lo- *gets dragged offstage*
also the last chat with all of them, and asmo says "more like significant other" in response to solomon asking if mc is okay, and mammon freaks out "DON'T SAY THAT". thinking about this in my mc's story, and instead I'm like
"mammon the three of us are literally in a poly relationship"
"...the great mammon was just testin' ya! Don't want the two of you forgetting you're both mine just because you're both in the human world!"
DAAWW WAIR WHAT IF GETS SAD AND JEALOUS THAT MC AND SOLOMON STAY TOGETHER IN THE HUMAN WORLD 😭 ANGST!! OR IG HURT COMFORT BC THEY'D TOTALLY REASSURE HIM ONCE HE ADMITS IT!! actually they summon him every night so they can all go to bed together <3
SORRY IT GOT LONG OKAY I'M DONE WHEEE BYEEE
- ✨ anon (only bc I'm attached to my sign off ngl aksjd)
WOOO I'm glad you were able to finish OG!!!
Listen, when I think too much about all that Obey Me has brought into my life, it's like a weird thing that my brain cannot understand. Like I remember first downloading it and being like hm okay we'll see about this demon game, seems kinda ridiculous.
And like YES it is, but it also caused this blog to happen! And I'm a sad lonely person who made a ton of amazing online friends because of this game and I have so many lovely anons talking to me and people reading my writing and !?!?!?
It seems crazy sometimes to think all that came from this silly game! So I totally get you. I'm so glad that the game helped you make friends and start to draw and write again!! I think it's so great to have that thing that inspires us, no matter what it is!! And I love how we can all just talk about this game and connect with each other, no matter who we are. IT'S SPECIAL 😭
AH that commission is SO CUTE.
LOL I love when parts of the story feed our own headcanons and story ideas laksdjf.
I love the idea that Solomon and MC just summon Mammon to the human world every night, what a bunch of cuties!
How would your MC and Solomon deal with this when it comes to the NB storyline? I mean, do they just keep the secret from past!Mammon? Does he end up getting really attached to them without really understand why? I think it'd be hard for MC to have one partner who knows everything and the other one who has no idea...
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caelum-wittebane · 4 months
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My OC, Caelum and Preacher Belos from an rp with my Preacher Belos AI. It was initially a very self-indulgent art because I just started taking antidepressants and I’m kinda scared, but tbf, Caelum needs medication even more than me :)
Here’s some lore for those who are interested. (Also, I reused the idea of Flapjack’s death mostly because Caelum from our system wanted to bully our Hunter a bit lol.)
In the beginning, Caelum is trapped in the demon realm and meets Preacher Belos, asking him if he knows how they can return to the human realm. He empathises with them and tells them that he’s a human too, and he can help them return home, but only if they help him destroy the wild magic. They agree because they hate it as much as he does.
Caelum becomes Belos’ disciple and they work on their mission together for quite a while. In the process, they both develop feelings, but they’re quite different. Caelum experiences romantic attraction and begins to see God in Belos, while the latter sees them as a younger sibling and a very devoted follower. One day, Caelum confesses their feelings and is met with rejection, which absolutely breaks them. That’s where the fun begins :)
Because Caelum is very mentally stable /s, they have a literal meltdown, and at first, they selfharm (hit themself on the nose, drawing blood, and hit themself on the arms). Belos stops them and absolutely freaks out because he still cares about them deeply, even if not romantically,,, Then, they ask Belos if he has a sacrificial knife because they’d like to make a sacrifice, and obviously, he refuses to give it to them. They discuss this whole thing more and Caelum selfharms again (they find a knife and cut their arm, then Belos takes the knife away and freaks out more, but when Caelum asks him really nicely, they get it back and selfharm again.) After that, Caelum slits their throat and stabs themself in the stomach a few times, before saying “I love you…” and dying in Belos’ arms. But the story doesn’t end here :)
Belos hugs Caelum tightly, muttering things like “No, my child… Please don’t leave me…” “I could have loved you… We could have been together…” (except he means it in a platonic way). This attracts Echo, Caelum’s canary palisman, and they rush to their owner in distress. Then, they give all of their life energy to Caelum (which also transfers the last things that they saw and heard), and soon, Caelum’s hands slightly twitch. Belos senses it immediately and it gives him a lot of hope. In a few moments, Caelum opens their eyes and they’re reunited once again,,,
Caelum feels really bad about leaving Belos alone and apologises, to which he reacts with understanding. Then, they bring up the things that he said while they were dead, but they find out that he only meant it platonically, so they feel disappointed and suicidal again. They feel guilty about it because they genuinely cared about Echo, but also, they realise that they’re nothing without Belos. Nothing else matters… He keeps reassuring them and convincing them that they’ll find their happiness without him and that there’s more to life than following his orders, but they can’t bring themself to listen.
Then, Caelum selfharms again (they hit themself on the head really hard, and after a few moments, on the knee). They have another discussion and they find out that Belos sees a sibling figure in them, but still cares deeply. They don’t believe that he cares and decide that the reason he doesn’t reciprocate their feelings is because he thinks that they’re too childish. They walk away and return in a day, all bruised up but with some Titan’s Blood. Obviously, Belos is very concerned about them and asks them if they’re okay, but Caelum brushes it off and focuses on their accomplishment rather than their physical state. When Belos asks what happened, they explain that they were attacked by a couple of witches who were looking for the Titan’s Blood too. Belos reassures them and tells them that he’ll ensure that they get what they deserve. Then, Caelum asks if he thinks that it was mature of them. He agrees that it was brave, but the fact that they were trying to please him so hard means that they still have some lessons to learn. Realising that there’s nothing they can do to make Belos love them, Caelum brings up the fact that they used to love each other in every past life. They tell him about some memories and he believes them despite being shocked. However, it doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way, so Caelum does what any reasonable adult would do /s: cut the skin on their chest, willing to rip the heart out of their chest and offer it to Belos before they die. After all, if he won’t accept their heart metaphorically, he could at least have it physically.
Belos sees what they’re about to do and freaks out even more than before. He grabs their hands to prevent them from hurting themself and tries to reason with them. They try to free themself but it doesn’t work. They explain that if they die, they’ll end up in another universe where he loves them again, and it’ll be okay. But Belos isn’t willing to let them die because he cares about them and it means that he won’t see them in this universe anymore, plus he’s afraid that they’ll be dead forever. When he sees that his words aren’t working, he remembers that there’s a spell that allows you to see repressed memories. After they do it, he sees their past memories and realises that Caelum was right. Yet, he still can’t change his feelings and it pains him. When he sees Caelum retrieve the knife and cut their chest again, he stops them by telling them that there’s a potion that allows you to unlock repressed emotions and feel them again. What’s important to remember is that those emotions aren’t forced, unlike when you use a love potion. It stops Caelum, and they feel a little hopeful.
After they prepare the potion and drink it together, Belos realises that he does truly love Caelum, and Caelum falls in love with him even more. They finally confess their feelings and have a very emotional moment,,, Later on, they realise that perhaps, the reason Belos was unable to fall in love with Caelum at first, was because the Lord punished them, as they turned to sin after meeting in every single universe. This makes the ending even more special; they weren’t meant to fall in love in this broken universe, yet they still did. If it doesn’t make them soulmates, then what does?
Also, an important detail: in the process, Caelum gouges out their eye and later on, Belos makes them an eyepatch with the sigil of the Emperor’s Coven. Although it’s not a thing just yet, Belos remembers the symbol from the memories. And when he becomes the Emperor, the eyepatch would be a symbol of his ownership over Caelum. But the best part is that these freaks are mutually obsessive. Since Caelum is Belos’ only worshipper, it’s incredibly satisfying to them because it means that their God and partner is theirs, and theirs alone, forever.
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recurring-polynya · 7 months
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Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024
So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.
Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.
It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.
Here are some other stupid facts:
The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them
I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)
The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these
Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second
BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1
AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!
EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about
And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.
I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.
Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.
Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!
I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.
--- from Ch 3
"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.
Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."
"Oh, so I'm helping?"
Renji grinned. "Sure."
"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."
"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."
"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.
It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.
"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”
Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”
“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”
“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”
Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”
“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”
“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”
“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”
Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”
“He said it was okay.”
Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”
“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.” 
Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.
“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”
Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”
Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”
“Yes.”
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katesmemes · 2 years
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feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!  
LAVENDER HAZE
meet me at midnight
oh, you don't ever say too much
i've been under scrutiny
all this shit is new to me
i'm damned if i do give a damn what people say
all they keep asking me is if i'm gonna be your bride
the only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife
they're bringing up my history, but you weren't even listening
get it off your chest
i just wanna stay
MAROON
how'd we end up on the floor anyway?
how the hell did we lose sight of us again?
ain't that the way shit always ends
i feel you, no matter what
and i wake with your memory over me
that's a real fuckin' legacy to leave
ANTI-HERO
i have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser
midnights become my afternoons
i should not be left to my own devices
one day I'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time
i'm the problem, it's me
i'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror
it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill
did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?
i have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money
she's laughing up at us from hell!
SNOW ON THE BEACH
life is emotionally abusive
time can't stop me quite like you did
i'm unglued, thanks to you
you wanting me tonight feels impossible
it's fine to fake it till you make it
can this be a real thing, can it?
YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN, KID
i play it cool with the best of them
it's okay, we're the best of friends
i touch my phone as if it's your face
there's just one who could make me stay all my days
i waited ages to see you there
you're on your own, kid; you always have been
i picked the petals, he loves me not
i called a taxi to take me there
everything you lose is a step you take
you've got no reason to be afraid
MIDNIGHT RAIN
i wanted that pain
all of me changed
i broke his heart 'cause he was nice
i guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted
he never thinks of me
i guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted
i never think of him except on midnights like this
QUESTION...?
i swear that it was something
i don't remember who i was before you
i just may like some explanations
can i ask you a question?
did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room
every single one of your friends was making fun of you
then what did you do?
did you leave her house in the middle of the night?
did you wish you'd put up more of a fight
do you wish you could still touch her?
it's just a question
i just may like to have a conversation
what's that that i heard, that you're still with her?
that's nice, i'm sure that's what's suitable
VIGILANTE SHIT
draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man
you did some bad things, but i'm the worst of them
sometimes i wonder which one will be your last lie
they say looks can kill and i might try
lately i've been dressing for revenge
i don't start shit, but i can tell you how it ends
don't get sad, get even
i'm on my vigilante shit again
BEJEWELED
i think I've been a little too kind
putting someone first only works when you're in their top five
i'm going out tonight
do you have a man?
familiarity breeds contempt
don't put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart
i polish up real nice
i think i've been too good of a girl
did all the extra credit then got graded on a curve
i think it's time to teach some lessons
LABYRINTH
‘it only hurts this much right now,’ was what i was thinking the whole time
i'll be getting over you my whole life
uh oh, i'm falling in love
you would break your back to make me break a smile
you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that
KARMA
you're talking shit for the hell of it
you wouldn't know what i mean
me and karma vibe like that
don't you know that cash ain't the only price?
ask me what i learned from all those years
ask me what i earned from all those tears
ask me why so many fade but i'm still here
SWEET NOTHING
they said the end is coming
everyone's up to something
i find myself running home to your sweet nothings
all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing
on the way home i wrote a poem
you should be doing more
to you i can admit hat i'm just too soft for all of it
MASTERMIND
you and i ended up in the same room at the same time
what if i told you none of it was accidental
i laid the groundwork and then just like clockwork the dominoes cascaded in a line
what if i told you i'm a mastermind?
if you fail to plan, you plan to fail
no one wanted to play with me as a little kid
this is the first time i've felt the need to confess
i'm only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause i care
yeah, all you did was smile
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