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[hammysando]

“Thank-You's and Goodbyes” Floyd Leech x Bullied!GN!Reader

AN: This is pure angst. Hurt and no comfort. Can you guys tell I really like to write angst? I SWEAR there is fluff coming soon- It's very similar to the Jing Yuan fanfic toward the end, but I like this one too XD. Anyway, don't forget to like and reblog if you enjoyed! And drop a comment if you so feel like it! <3 Reader is Gender Neutral!

Wordcount: 1.3K+ words~

Prompt: Nothing hurts more than almost. And being too late.

TW: Mentions of suicide, Major character death (Reader), Topics of bullying and grief.

Please read at your own risk!

More below the cut~

Floyd noticed them on a random Thursday, when he decided to be early to Crewel’s Potionology class. He had been ready to skip completely, but decided that if he wanted to pass the next lab, he'd better attend. He slunk toward the entrance, lanky frame bobbing slightly with his laid-back, slow steps. Though, his feet came to a stop as he heard sniffling from inside the classroom.

”Ehhh? Is someone already here?” He mused this to himself as he peeked into the room curiously.

Someone stood at the furthest desk from the doorway, head bowed as hot tears slid down their cheeks. They seemed to stare down at the desk for a while longer before wiping their eyes and taking out a cloth and tiny bottle of liquid from their uniform jacket. Quickly, they poured the cleaning solution on their desk before scrubbing away at something. This piqued Floyd’s interest as he stepped in and made his way over, his signature smile in his face. Bending down, he hummed in the student’s ear and spoke, voice playful and probing.

“Say, I haven't seen you before.” His grin deepened, dual colored eyes squinting slightly with mischievous amusement. “I'll call you flamefishie.”

Floyd Leech’s second encounter with this stranger happened when he came early once again. Except this time, he peeked over their shoulder as they started to erase black and red words off their desk. The ink ran and disappeared quickly, but Floyd could feel himself tense as the words flashed in his mind.

“Worthless freak.”

“Gonna cry?”

“I bet your parents are embarrassed of you because you're practically magicless.”

“Say, Flamefishie… Who-” The student broke away, leaving wordlessly and in a hurry. The teal-haired man didn't get a chance to say anything more. Floyd waited for them to return, but the one he had dubbed as “Flamefishie”, didn't show for the rest of Crewel’s class.

Their third meeting, occured when Floyd arrived at the empty classroom, early yet again for the third time. He was in a terrible mood, being stuck with Azul’s yammering about customers and the Monstro Lounge. Did he never learn to loosen up? What irritated Floyd even more, were the three students crowding around a certain desk. They snickered loudly as they marked up the poor student’s desk. Ah, what a perfect opportunity to vent a little of his anger.

In a few lanky steps, he was upon the three students. One, was from Savanaclaw, while the other two were from Flamefishie’s dorm. Oh, that somehow made Floyd feel more murderous. His looming presence alone was enough to silence the snickering as the three students turned slowly. Heterochromic eyes glared down at them intensely as he spoke, cheery voice a contrast to the expression on his face, and the terrifying look in his eyes.

“Say… So you're the three that make Flamefishie cry…?” He smiled cruelly and a little unhingedly as he descended. “I'll give you a count to three before I squeeze you all.”

It was safe to say that the three scrambled away without as much as a glance back. Floyd fixed his uniform tie before the sound of books thudding against the floor caught his attention. His head snapped up and he turned, to see the familiar student he had come into contact with a few times before. Their (eye color) eyes were wide, already filling with tears. Were they always crying? Before Floyd could say anything, another thud filled the silence as the crying student dropped their bag and rushed over, throwing their arms around Floyd. The eel man froze but threw his head back and laughed. This was a surprise. One that put him in a good mood. It sounded as if they whispered something to him under their breath. Something he couldn't make out, but decided not to bring up as he took their hand and dragged them out of class.

“We're skipping class, Flamefishie~!” And it seemed like they were okay with that.

There had been buzz around the NRC, about the death of a student. Suicide, the whispering said. They weren't known very well amongst the student body, but that didn't stop the solemn feeling of mourning to choke the air. Floyd had a bad feeling in his gut, suddenly. Wait a second… Months had passed since he saw Flamefishie. It irritated him at first. Were they avoiding him? Why? But soon their absence became a normal occurrence that he had gotten used to. But now, oh, what could he say to that horrible dread he felt sitting in his stomach as he raced to his potionology class?

Floyd stared down at that specific desk; the one that peculiar student occupied for every one of Crewel’s boring lectures. Disbelief ran through him before rage replaced it. But that rage quickly died as he stared blankly. There, sitting atop their desk, was a vase of orchids, soft and white. He knew what this was.

Under the vase, was a letter addressed to him. It was simple, the only embellishment on it being a scribble of an eel on the corner of the envelope. Floyd tore the letter open with slightly shaking hands, unprepared for what he would read.

Many students say you're scary. But… You were so kind to me. Especially that day. I'm so grateful to have encountered someone like you.

So thank you. And goodbye.

It wasn't even signed. Floyd felt his frustration, anger, and sorrow all boil over as he turned and kicked over one of the chairs violently. Was he stupid? He had never even asked them their name. Storming out of the class, he couldn't bring himself to look back, the letter clutched in his hands tightly.

The next few days were like a blur. And before he knew it, he was attending an assembly for that student’s death. It was a blur as well, and he wandered his way around before a hand on his shoulder caught his attention. Floyd flared up, ready to beat someone to a bloody pulp, but stopped when he recognized a familiar shade of (eye color) eyes, looking at him. For a second, he could feel himself grow hopeful before realization crushed him. No, this wasn't his Flamefishie.

“Floyd Leech?” A man’s voice sounded, calm yet laced with hurt and sorrow.

“What's it to you?” He spat this, feeling a bad mood coming on.

The man simply smiled slightly. “I'm… (Full Name)’s older brother.. I just wanted to thank you, for being the reason they smiled so much. (Name) never did much, as far back as I could remember… I don't know what you were to each other, but they seemed alive when they spoke about you.” He seemed to stop, smile faltering before it perked up once more.

“So thank you, for giving them good memories.” Floyd turned in that instant and left, scowl deepening until he found himself far away from everyone. The NRC campus was empty, every student having gone to that assembly. Without the suffocating air of sorrow and sadness, Floyd started to question himself. Question why he cared at all in the first place. They had barely known each other. They'd only encountered each other a handful of times. So why did the sadness eat away at him from the inside? Why did the sorrow burn his eyes so?

Floyd felt a tear hit his hand, followed by another, and another. He couldn't stop the rain clouds that had started to gather round his mismatched eyes. And a realization hit him. About why he cared. Why it hurt like this.

He loved (Name).

[hammysando]

"When The Carnations Bloom" Jing Yuan x GN!Reader

AN: Here's the Arbiter General~ Felt kinda rushed at the end, but I'm more or less happy with how this came out! Once again likes and reblogs are appreciated! Don't be shy to leave a comment down below as well! <3 Reader is Gender Neutral!

Wordcount: 1.9K+ words~

Prompt: Reader has Hanahaki and hides it from everyone. (Except for Bailu.)

TW: Major character death (Reader), slight descriptions of blood.

Please read at your own risk!

More below the cut~

You were in the bathroom, throwing up those damned flowers again. They came up and out of your throat quickly and painfully, as you emptied out whatever you could. Tired, you leaned against the wall and glanced down at the bloodied and saliva-covered red carnations in your sink. Crinkling your nose up in disgust, you tried to regulate your ragged breathing by taking deep breaths. It proved to be difficult, but little by little, you calmed your erratic pulse. And little by little, the urge to break out into violent coughs ceased. Moving to get back into bed, you groaned softly as a knock sounded at the door. Vowing to murder whomever showed at your door, you wearily trudged over.

“(Name)! General is slacking off again!” A boyish voice shouted from the other side, drawing a long sigh from you. Ah, it was Yanqing.

Begrudgingly, the door swung open and you scowled slightly at the thought of having to drag Jing Yuan back to the Seat of Divine Foresight. Yanqing stood there, looking just as annoyed as you did, and the two of you shared a knowing look. The general was once again skipping out on paperwork. Stepping out in whatever you were wearing currently, you didn't care for the strange looks you garnered from your neighbors.

“Again?” You grumbled this softly, trying to ignore the flowers that started to tickle the back of your throat, just from the thought of Jing Yuan. Ah, how could you have fallen for someone so frustrating, yet so handsome?

“Again. I couldn't think of anyone to get him to do his work but you.” Yanqing said this apologetically but started to lead you away to where the general slumbered. The entire way, you grumbled about how you should start charging Jing Yuan. You were acting as his very own human alarm, after all.

The arduous journey led you straight to a certain garden. And lo and behold, the snow haired man slept soundly under an arbor of wisteria and an assortment of other flowers. You fought down the flowers that clogged your throat as your eyes found his form. Letting out a strained grunt, you stalked over to Jing Yuan, and prepared to smack him upside the head. Yanqing watched on curiously. He had seen this spectacle several times, but you seemed… Tired, to him. Less eager to smack the general. Though as soon as his thoughts started to wander, a resounding smack of skin on skin drew his light topaz colored eyes to the source.

Jing Yuan rubbed the back of his head, a relaxed and even amused smile on his face as he regarded you. Meanwhile, you frowned at him disapprovingly. It looked like a lion being scolded by a very unhappy sparrow. It was comical to any passerby, if it weren't for said lion being the General of the Xianzhou Luofu.

“Jing Yuan, how many times are you going to slack off?” You scolded him, expression softening. Ah, you could never stay mad at him. Those sincere honey eyes of his made you weak to your knees. Keeping the flower petals at bay, you simply crossed your arms and looked at him expectantly.

“Well my dear (Name)... If I didn't slack off, I wouldn't get a chance to see you everyday.” His deep voice said this with velvety smoothness as he chuckled and smiled at you fondly. “You know how boring it is to do paperwork everyday. What if I want to see my favorite-”

You flicked his forehead and sighed through your nose. His words caused the roots of the flowers in your lungs to tighten and contract. It hurt to hear those words from him. You almost wished he would stop saying such things. And to stop looking at you with such softness. Every action and look from the cloud-haired man fueled the slow agony you suffered.

“Seat of Foresight. Now.” You crossed your arm tighter as he sighed heavily and stood.

“Anything for you, little sparrow.”

The weeks passed on uneventfully, and your routine stayed the same. You coughed up those dreaded carnations, rouge color matching that of your blood. Then tiredly, you would drag Jing Yuan back to his office to fulfill his duties before going about your own day. It was troublesome at times, but it was comfortable. Admittedly, you enjoyed what little time you had with the general. After you retired from the frontlines, you gradually saw Jing Yuan less and less. This was one of the few ways you could see him still, without seeming a bother.

More weeks passed, and you seemed to grow weaker and weaker as the deep red carnations started to bloom. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to tell anyone of your predicament. Of your beautifully cruel disease, as it destroyed you quietly. The flowers came heavily now, blooming delicately in full.

One fairy night in summer, a knock on the door sounded softly. You weren't surprised. In fact, you had expected this to happen. You see, as your condition worsened, you distanced yourself. No longer, did you go to rouse the general from his slumber. No longer did you go to the Seat of Divine Foresight at the request of Jing Yuan, only to end up playing a game of starchess with him. Honestly, you had expected him to come sooner. You opened your front door, revealing the tall man. His golden eyes looked down at you, screaming their worry despite the calm smile on his face.

“Jing Yuan.” You spoke softly, acknowledging him.

“Little Sparrow.” He acknowledged you back, dipping his head toward you.

A silence ensued as you both stood there, gazing at one another. The sun had started to die in its grave in the sky, giving way to a plum sunset. And yet, nothing was said. Eventually, when the plum shades faded into inky indigo, Jing Yuan spoke. His tone was calm, with undertones of hope.

“Will you be there to scold me tomorrow?” It was a silly question that made laughter bubble up in your throat. The petals accompanied it, however. Fighting them back, you managed to crack a smile at the general.

“I'll be there.” His smile widened and his eyes melted into pools of honey, uncontrollably fond.

“Then I shall look forward to tomorrow. Until then, Little Sparrow.”

You sobbed softly to yourself that night as the stars made their nightly travel across the dark expanses of space.

Lady Bailu frowned at you deeply, anger and sorrow pooling in her eyes. Looking ready to cry, she turned away and sniffled violently. The Vidyadhara healer had just examined your condition, and her conclusion was not a favorable one. Fists clenched, she turned back to you.

“You're going to die very soon, (Name). If you don't do something. The carnations are in full bloom.. At this rate you'll suffocate on them and-.” The tears started to slide down her cheeks as she glared up at you. Your only response was a sorrowful smile.

“I'm a coward, Lady Bailu. I could never burden Jing Yuan.” You sighed.

“Then let me treat them. Let me get rid of them for you-” You cut her off, shaking your head gently.

“And lose the ability to love? To be considered alive?” Bailu could not fight against you. Instead, Bailu sobbed into your shoulder, gripping you tightly as you bent down and gently hugged her small, quivering form. You would miss her. Miss Yanqing. Aeons, you'd even miss Fu Xuan and her nagging. And Jing Yuan and his lazing about.

The following days, you spent packing your things into boxes and labeled them with names of the ones you wanted them to go to. Your precious sword collection would go to Yanqing of course. Qingque got your prized mahjong board made from the finest jade. And Jing Yuan received the first tea set you ever got. It had been a gift from the man himself. A retirement gift, as he would have put it. You knew he'd take good care of it. Saying goodbye to these things were bittersweet. But, you couldn't bring yourself to bear your soul to Jing Yuan. And you couldn't undergo Bailu’s treatment to rid yourself of these carnations in your lungs. All living things were built to love. Platonically or not. If you lost that feeling, could you even consider yourself ‘alive’, anymore? You sighed softly as you finished the last of the box. You were certain that they would be treasured and treated well. The last thing to do, was to pen the letters.

News of your death spread through the Xianzhou Luofu like wildfire. Many were in disbelief, while some mourned for you. Jing Yuan had been shocked by this, not wanting to believe it. His footsteps echoed on the pavement of your home’s walkway. No, he needed to see you. He needed to put the worries and fears in his mind to rest. You couldn't die. You were General (Name) (Last name), the Blade Singer. The one who slayed thousands of abhorrentions of abundance. There couldn't be a possibility you had died.

The air of your home was already going stale without your presence. Though it also carried the faintest wisps of your scent. Jing Yuan’s chest tightened with pain as he stared at the boxes with names. At the letters. At you, so still in your bed. Your eyes were shut peacefully as red carnations surrounded you, in full bloom. One could almost mistake you as simply sleeping. Bailu was at your side, sobbing, along with a Yanqing who clung onto your hand, head bowed as hot tears slid down his face and hit the floor with a dull thunk.

Your funeral was one lush with flowers, and held on a day as sunny as always. The summer fairy lights seemed to gather around your starskiff, adorned with different blooms, to send you off. A silent farewell. Jing Yuan watched with unsteady honey eyes. He had lost so much already. To the point where he assumed that losing would no longer hurt him. Alas, he had been wrong. Losing you, brought an indescribable hurt to him. Chest clenching painfully, Jing Yuan excused himself soon after your funeral.

Wandering aimlessly, the General found his feet taking him to the garden you had both met in when you were young. He had fallen asleep, and you were running away from your mentor. A wistful smile found its way onto Jing Yuan’s face before he slipped a letter out of his pocket. In your handwriting, his name was penned. Jing Yuan couldn't bring himself to open it before, scared that if he acknowledged your passing, you would truly disappear from this world. But now, steeped in an indigo peace, he found the courage to open the neatly sealed envelope.

It carried your scent and your presence in every line. Every brush stroke.

To you, who I loved;

This journey has been a strange blessing and curse. Though, I would rather not have had it at all. Unfortunately, it seems unrequited love has been my undoing. I'm sure Lady Bailu has filled you in on everything… And I would like to apologize for being such a coward.

I loved you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Perhaps it was my own fears that stopped me. I didn't want to burden you with my feelings. But I think most importantly, I didn't want to relearn the pain of losing someone I loved. We've lost so much, Yuan. I couldn't bear to lose you too. It was my own shortcoming. And it may be selfish and too late to say now, but...

I love you, Jing Yuan.

-(Name) (Last name)

Jing Yuan traced your penmanship with his fingertips. And a single hyacinth flower fluttered from his lips.

[hammysando]

"Rainstorms come, without you." Malleus Draconia x GN!Reader

AN: Hello, hello again~! It's me, back with another part for my Diasomnia grief series! This time, it's the Fae Prince's turn! Don't forget to like and reblog if you enjoyed this! Maybe even leave a comment for me down below! This can be read as platonic or romantic! <3 Prefect/Reader is Gender Neutral!

Wordcount: 300+ words~

Prompt: How would the Diasomnia boys react to the Prefect's death? (Which they caused inadvertently via a freak overblot on campus, where the Prefect take a fatal blow for them.)

TW: Major character death (Prefect/Yuu), Dealings with depression, grief, and delusion.

Please read at your own risk

Prologue:

“Prefect-! NO-!”

Silence.

Silence descended on the prestigious Night Raven College. The usual squabbling of the students as well as the hustle and bustle had frozen in place, as if time itself was pausing, holding its breath. The funeral was held on a sunny day, a contrast to the occasion. It felt like a blur to the students of Night Raven. Was this reality? The prefect; someone who had survived several overblots, changed their lives for the better, and was an essential part of Night Raven College, was dead? How could this be...?

More below the cut~

Malleus could not accept that the Prefect had died. Their funeral was a blur, obscured ever so slightly by gossamer silk. It was as if Malleus was underwater, unable to hear, or make anything out except for blurbs. Why was Silver crying..? Why did everyone look so… Sad? Surely the Prefect would return. They couldn’t simply die, right? His Child of Man wouldn't leave him without a goodbye… Right?

The dragon fae was in a daze as the seasons changed. Perhaps the grief, or he himself tricked his mind into thinking the Prefect was alive, but Malleus spoke as if they were still there. No one had the heart to rouse him from the waking dream he had convinced himself of. It was a delusion steeped in indigo happiness that Malleus was willingly drowning in.

“The Prefect would love this blend of tea. Perhaps I should stop by later. What do you think, Lilia?” Malleus watched Lilia’s cheery smile falter ever so slightly at the mention of his Child of Man. Why? Did he not think that the Prefect would like the tea?

“... I’m sure they would like it.” Lilia spoke, though it sounded as he was stepping carefully. Why did Lilia look like that? Like he wanted to cry? There was a stab in Malleus’ chest as he regarded his guardian carefully before a smile spread across his features. The smile did not reach his eyes, however.

“Then I shall have you deliver it in my stead, Lilia.” He needed to be alone. The stab had spread steadily throughout his chest, and in a shower of fairy lights, Malleus disappeared.

His room was dark and in slight disarray, though the fae disregarded the untidiness and simply clutched his chest with quivering hands. A pain bloomed between the cavity of his ribcage, raw and visceral. No, what was this pain? Malleus didn’t realize that he had started to cry, the droplets of tears rushing down his face like a rainstorm. Lightning and thunder accompanied the heavy downpour that was unusual for the season.

[hammysando]

Hammy's Intro & Masterlist~

(⊃★∧★)⊃~° • ☆`’

Hello, hello~! My name is hammysando, but you may call me Hammy or Noctifer! I'm 20 years old, and go by any/all pronouns! I write and draw sometimes, though I'm not very confident in my works. Perhaps by posting what I create, I'll get braver! That's the hope at least. <3 Down below are the fandoms I write for! I may also write fics for my OCs as well!

Fandoms I write currently: Twisted Wonderland, Honkai: Star Rail, and Genshin Impact!

Twisted Wonderland

◈ "... And I dream of you..." Silver x GN!Reader angst

◈ "Rainstorms come, without you." Malleus Draconia x GN!Reader angst

◈ "Thank-You's and Goodbyes" Floyd Leech x Bullied!GN!Reader angst ◈ "House of Cards" Riddle Rosehearts x GN!Reader songfic (coming soon)

◈"Faerie Dances and Starlight" Lilia Vanrouge x GN!Reader Fluff (coming soon)

Honkai: Star Rail

◈ "When The Carnations Bloom" Jing Yuan x GN!Reader angst

Genshin Impact

Nothing yet, please stand by... <3

Original Characters

Nothing yet, please stand by... <3

[hammysando]

"... And I dream of you..." Silver x GN!Reader

AN: Alrighty, starting off this writing blog with something angsty for the Diasomnia boys~ Silver is up first! Just saying, this is not the world's greatest writing, but this is purely for fun and because I genuinely enjoy writing! This can be read as platonic or romantic! Prefect/Reader is Gender Neutral!

Wordcount: Less than 300~

Prompt: How would the Diasomnia boys react to the Prefect's death? (Which they caused inadvertently via a freak overblot on campus, where the Prefect take a fatal blow for them.)

TW: Major character death (Prefect/Yuu), Deals with depression and grief.

Please read at your own risk!

Prologue:

“Prefect-! NO-!”

Silence.

Silence descended on the prestigious Night Raven College. The usual squabbling of the students as well as the hustle and bustle had frozen in place, as if time itself was pausing, holding its breath. The funeral was held on a sunny day, a contrast to the occasion. It felt like a blur to the students of Night Raven. Was this reality? The prefect; someone who had survived several overblots, changed their lives for the better, and was an essential part of Night Raven College, was dead? How could this be...?

More below the cut~

Silver awoke in his room, crying. It had been raining for a handful of days, so it was no surprise that a thunderstorm raged outside. The boy stared at the ceiling of his room, unable to help the choked sobs that escaped his lips as he turned on his side and curled up, hugging his knees to his chest. How many times had he had the same dream? Why were they so kind to him, even in his dreams?

In his dreams, the prefect stood before him. He could no longer remember the small details about them, but Silver could never forget the way their presence felt; soft and comforting; understanding. He reached out his hand, only to falter before it reached the blurry figure just out of reach. Silver had so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to apologize for. But every thought died in his throat. In the end, he could only watch as their lips moved soundlessly, forming the words that haunted him.

“I forgive you.”

The bags under his eyes were dark. It was evident he wasn’t sleeping well. They had become a normal look on Silver, and it didn’t help that he went great lengths to keep himself awake. Even as his father mentioned them in passing, worry bleeding into his voice, Silver quietly assured his father he was fine. But anyone could see through his words. Silver was terrified to sleep. His resolve crumbled underneath the weight of his guilt and regrets. The boy could not bring himself to dream, even though he knew it was a matter of time before he fell asleep once more. Silver could not bring himself to dream, because even if the Prefect forgave him, he could not do the same for himself.