๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ 1 - you guys have such bright, very infectious because iโm just so giddy right now, yalls energy just shines bright like the sun omg, so full of positivity and love, happy as a child fr. i feel like people just like to consume your energy, has them all over the place, like pleading, thereโs a push and pull effect you have, like you can be the most positive, optimistic person full of fucking light but then you have that other side to you that has people on their knees, like they canโt hold it in with you, the focus is on you guys, youโre hardworking and when youโre ready to fucking commit to something and go you just do it and get it started but you also know how to be inclusive and make others feel welcomed. i feel like people just want you to look at them, acknowledge them, you guys can adapt easily and may be spread out everywhere, you canโt just stay stuck to one thing and even within relationships im not saying youโre non-committal but you know your worth and some people and things just arenโt worth your time, youโre like a temptation, watch out for users and takers that may want to swindle you for whatever reason. youโre in tune with your femme side, you truly donโt need anyone to validate you and thatโs a flex babeโฆitโs all you, something about the way you love and care for others, never dim that part of yourself, itโs so beautiful, the way you can own your mfkn power is by not letting bozos or losers come in and try to knock u off ur damn throne, standing up for yourself, believing that youโre fucking powerful just by being your true authentic self, confidently strutting your stuff, not giving away too much of yourself as well, connecting with your innermost self, reminding yourself who you are deep down inside, not being swayed the outside opinions of others, you may be a lil homebody and thatโs okay..youโre sure of yourself and you donโt need anyone up in your face trying to fucking control you and make u feel small, by continuing to protect yourself in a healthy way, strong fucking boundaries is what needs to be set, donโt let these weirdos try to come in and fucking knock down your walls with their hateration and disgusting jealousy, show yourself off, embrace that fire within you, dont second guess yourself or make yourself small to fit in, burn bright baby boo. an affirmation for u - โi am a badass warrior and i conquer self doubt like itโs my fucking job!โ
๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ 2 - your gentleness makes u fucking strike like lightning and i know youโre like โhow?โ babe we need more kind people like you on this planet, this world is so full of hatred and evil people, youโre kindness and compassion and just love for others makes you fucking strike babe, youโre a giver, very generous individual but i can see that you protect your heart as well, you know not to let shady people come and try to steal your energy, yeah thatโs a thing, and you may need to be careful of that too, giving yourself away to undeserving people. youโre so content and just emotionally fulfilled on your own, u truly do not need someone else to fill your cup but im betting thereโs a lot of people that would love to if youโd let them, youโre allowed be taken care of and poured into. but with how abundant your energy is and just how rich you are in spirit, of course itโd attract a bunch of energy vampires, just people with weird intentions. very emotionally mature and also vulnerable as well, well with the right people of course but you donโt hide how youโre feeling, and thats literally okay, youโre allowed to fucking let yourself feel free expressing what and how youโre feeling if that makes sense haha. you may throw people off, itโs like they dont expect YOU, like literally just you, your compassionate self. you donโt chase after people bc you know youโre already secure inside so donโt doubt that. maybe you really second guess yourself and how youโre coming off to others but i feel like people just see such a pure genuine soul, not just a nice person but a very kindhearted soul. you make others feel calm, like just content and chill haha. i feel like yall just make people smile, like smirking to themselves just thinking about you, omg admiring you and adoring you, u could be all up in peopleโs heads, unforgettable, maybe some just want to indulge themselves in you, just be cautious and aware of snakes hidden in the grass. i feel like i could go on and on about you guys, i dont want to make it too long though ;) your sweetness dude, youโre just like a lil fucking teddy bear ahhhh, someone who loves to help others, doesnโt matter what it may be just serving, wanting to be useful to others? maybe ppl have made u feel worthless bc of how kind you are like as if thatโs boring or some shit, ignore those ppl, we need more kindness and love, donโt hide that side of yourself idc, let others who want to appreciate you show you their love. youโre also very in tune with your spiritual side and i feel you may dim that down too as if youโre not gifted i mean youโre here right?? embrace that side of yourself, you donโt even know how helpful you are to others, i feel like your generosity and just your pure loving soul is what puts a smile on others faces, so balanced, youโre just an unforgettable nurturer, a whole sweetie pie, a cutie pie ahhh, just such a sweet soul okay hereโs an affirmation for you <3 โsuccess is my middle name; watch me fucking conquer.โ โi choose to surround myself with people who fucking respect meโ and to own your power i feel like you just need to see you more, like youโre the one who can stay calm during the stormy weather, a shield for others, very protective over your loved ones and self, stay true to that boo! <33
๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ 3 - i feel like yโall are my glamorous pile, the ones ready to put their feet on the fucking ground and nobody ainโt going to fucking get in your way and stop you lmfao iโm hearing under the influence by chris brown, i feel like you guys got people feeling like they on drugs around you, your energy is intoxicating and addicting, some may even wanna knock u up to keep you as theirs wtf okay anyways hahahaha okay i feel like the way yall strike is like youโre in that empress energy very strong minded, in touch with your feminine side and you know when to cut a bitch off but then with that, the same people you cut off may try to come back and slither their way back into your life omg what the hell, so you guys are like the โheartbreakersโ but not really because you just know your fucking worth more than what lames can give to you and not just that how theyโre with you as well, goes for any relationship, you know when to fucking walk away and youโre not taking weird bullshit from anyone, you donโt play, i feel like your anger plays a part in making you fucking powerful, when youโre done youโre done and you can easily see through peopleโs bullshit, their facade, in hearing shit you up, lol u piss people off, idk what youโre truly doing, it could honestly just be you and your awareness, youโre not going to stand down and make yourself a tiny purse dog lmfao, very sassy as well, like no one can fucking control you, even if they wanted to, you guys make people uncomfortable but thatโs there own issue, you may the wrong people for you uncomfortable haha, they try to fucking go and go at you relentlessly attacking you for no reason, so i can see why youโre protective of yourself and u donโt stand down, i mean with weird people like this honestly weird energy like this coming for yโall i understand why, itโs like youโre power makes others want to overthrow you and try and like one up you, just weird, got people competing for u and against you, i feel like theyโre jealous of your fucking success and not just material success but your ambition, your drive, your resilience, never giving up on yourself no matter how hard it gets, youโre your own positive light in your life, you know how to make yourself happy, still shining, blowing out your candles, celebrating your fucking self like you should! yeah your fucking power just makes others despise you lmfao weird as hell, you live life on your own goddamn terms and youโre not sitting around waiting for anyone, a leader on your own, itโs like a natural quality of yours, you just know how to be up in front exuding dominance, like a lion, your walk may just give off CONFIDENCE i mean you have the emperor here, youโre just a fucking natural at it, it comes easily to you so i can see why others may feel offended by your power but theyโre just projecting and not seeing their own power within themself, you look ahead, you donโt look for others, they look for you, goddamn lmfao! affirmations for you guys - โiโm letting go of negative bullshit, toxic people, and self doubt. iโm creating a fucking epic life on my own terms!โ & โi am enough, i have enough, and damn right im fucking worth it!โ
๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ๐ 4 - i can see you guys regenerating in hermit mode, like taking some time to be alone with yourself building your power back up and cleansing yourself of all the weird energies you may have encountered, you like your solitude, my loners here, the ones who donโt mind leaving the party early, ready to go home and chill the fuck out or going on adventures by yourself and taking some time to just connect with your higher self if u wanna say that, just going within and seeing that light within yourself, you blossom on your own, you know how to make sure busy, itโs like when quarantine was around heavy, it didnโt phase this group, maybe it was even like a fuck yeah moment, nobody outside to bother you hahaha, like you guys may love to work out and get back to yourself that way, doing yoga, stretching, moving your body, but you may also be very cautious of the outside world, like you just jumped off the boat into uncharted territory taking time to feel out the place/environment/energy just watching where youโre stepping, or what youโre stepping into, making your way as you go along whatever journey you may be on, weighing out your options, not making hasty decisions, a thinker, maybe even a realist too. calm, balanced people here, like a lot of introspection, a very nostalgic person too. embracing the old memories, in tune with your childhood self, doing things that fuel your soul and what makes you feel the most peaceful, maybe you guys struggle with the mind so grounding yourself and staying away from the crowd is what helps you to stay sane and sharp, for you to be your most powerful self i feel like you just need that time away from everyone. yep itโs like you canโt really count on other people, do people make you second guess yourself, itโs like youโre there for everyone but they couldnโt even be bothered to hear you out, donโt give so much of yourself away to ungrateful people. you matter a lot and i can see this may be draining you as well, probably why youโre very cautious, but remember donโt keep yourself stuck on others weird projections and how they may try to take from you, itโs okay to be alone and regroup, if some one is offended by that then thatโs there issue. the way u, my group four babies can uplift yourself and own your power is by letting yourself fucking shine and put yourself out there, confidently, i feel like people like making you guys feel small and quiet like a mouse, but youโre not a goddamn mouse youโre the fucking cat, and cats do whatever the hell they want to do, use your voice and own that fucking power, your words hold weight, speak more positively over your life and your self, unbiased opinions and being straightforward with your communication, donโt close yourself off from true unconditional love too..you deserve to be recognized and appreciated for all you do!!! keep fucking going, donโt give up on love, that goes for loving yourself too!! every fucking part of you and yes even the ugly bc the ugly is actually beautiful and makes you see the parts of you that you want to grow from and evolve beautifully into a better version of yourself! affirmations for yโall - โiโm unstoppable and nothing can hold me back, not even my fucking fears.โ โmy uniqueness shines like a freaking diamond! confidence? itโs my middle name, baby!โ โiโm a badass boss babe and i donโt give a damn about what anyone thinks. i rock my confidence like a boss!โ
Thank you for being here with me. It is such a long way to continue, yet, you guys are still here. I am truthfully thankful for your support and tons of love that I have received :-)
I started this blog in 2021 becauseโฆ I saw there was a few yandere art to consumeโ so, I drew. Initially, I drew for the reason that I wanted to make myself happy (with self-insert, yes๐ฅบ). But surprisingly, everyone seemed to enjoy it too..? At that time, I was so happy to know that everyone loved my art. Before I started this blog, I actually gave up drawing once. Maybe it was because of burnout or my low self-esteem. Anyway, I actually wanted to thank me in 2021 for decide to โjust give it a go, draw for your satisfaction. No one hurts.โ something like that.
And the result went too beyond my expectations. My blog has growth. I got to know there are a lots of people who support me thoroughly during my hardest time. I am so grateful for the community I am part of. Even though I had gone for quite some time, there are still people who waiting for me to comebackโ as always. And thatโฆ I do not know what to sayโ I know that I receive so much love. My english cannot elaborate how thankful I am. So all I can say is I appreciate you guys so much! Thank you as always :-)
Despite of the unstable of quality art, you guys still enjoy them. I am grateful for that. Despite of the lack of posting an art, you guys still waiting for me to post. I am grateful for that.
And if I cannot draw the bias that you love (yes, I noticed that I start to draw less Leon and recently start to draw Satoru more oftenโ not to mention others that I barely draw) I am so sorry. I promise that I will draw others if you guys request it.
Nowโฆ now.. I would like to thank you:
@alexex8sts for being the biggest supporter!! You have supported me continuously that it becomes invaluable ๐ฉต it means a ton to me knowing that there is still a person whoโs always be here with me. Alexie, thank you as always! Your ideas have inspired me a lot. I, Chanif, thank you for being friend with me๐ฅฐ
@yune1337 thank you, Wolfie. For supporting me :-) Feel free to chat with me sometimes! I am always available!
@maleyanderecafe and how could I forget the person who makes me so popular?? LOL im kidding, please forget the part where i am popular ๐ Anywayโ thank you for reblog and liking my art! I am always thankful for your support๐๐ปโโ๏ธ
Thank you ๐ฅ anon for being part of Chanifโs family!! Always feel free to come and chat with me anytime you want!! I am here for you :-)
And shoutout to those I have not mentioned! Tons of thank for loving me and my art๐ฉต if it wasnโt for you guys, I wouldnโt know that the Cucumber007 would receive this much love and appreciation!! Not to mention that the people who followed me(at the time I wrote this) is now 2,222 individuals???? I gasped! Thank you as always!
Happy birthday to me, Chanif :-) you are 21 now and surround by people who adore you
Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them โ realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! โ realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond โ finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back โ finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common โ fear.
i love seeing fan art for stuff so much like its my favourite thing ever when it comes to Looking Up Specific Things On Tumblr and im so crazy abt the works but only me and dog have really posted abt it i think it makes me go crazy and i could just cry from wanting to see other people draw fanart of it. does this make sense
aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
Monday my coworker cleared his throat on me when talking to me for 3 minutes, and I immediately put on a mask, disinfected and moved everything I had to the conference room because he obviously had something. I also immediately told my boss who "was wondering if he should send him home". All of that, but apparently that was enough to get me sick.
Here's the thing, and I know this isn't how it works, I got it from a coworker at work and did EVERYTHING in my power to not get it so i could continue work, so I should get my sick days paid even though I don't have any more PTO. I'm still going to work with a mask on in the warehouse because I, specifically, am needed to complete physical inventory which is incredibly important, but I had to go home at 3pm because I was on the verge of fainting. If I cannot complete these last 2 weeks of work, my company will fall apart, which is why I gave a 5 week notice instead of 2 and delayed starting my new job. I know "fuck this company", but I have enough pride to not want things to be worse than they already are because I Built This Place. I want all the systems I designed to work.
Tldr if a coworker got me sick because my boss didn't send him home when he knew he should, and I took measures to limit my exposure right after being exposed, then I should get my sick hours paid.
i hate hazbin because the writing is all over the place and the fact they market what it is as a queer and progressive show pisses me off, you hate it because the art style has angles and that one guy has animal ears. we are not the same
MORE PQ TIME!!! i'm determined to make good progress on it!! i played for around 4.5 hours today, and got around 52% of the 4th floor done. we have a total of 31 hours in the game and most of my main party is at like level 30/31, i think!
i'm feeling pretty content with my mechanics/persona fusions... there are ways i feel that this operates differently from mainline persona (the way petrification is a status that carries over between battles surprised me!), but i feel like i've really gotten into the groove with the boost system (and i have enjoyed using status ailments more than ever).
i'll probably be getting to see destined partner stuff soon... like as early as next session... i'm very interested in it :3
this time i don't actually have anything to say about the scenes i saw today. there were a few times i was ๐ช at atlus choosing to focus on certain traits for some characters (akihiko with protein and making teddie... very... teddie) but idc to talk about that bc everyone's beat a dead horse abt it. actually wait. i have one thing to say and it's about zen (under the cut)
so when we started spot 4 there's this... scripted battle after you open the door immediately after the staircase- where you get to face the golden hands.
i thought it was interesting to have a forced encounter with them (when it's possible that you might've run into them before) at this stage. game design wise i thought it was nice because it lets the players experiment on their own and come to their own conclusion on how to handle these evasive fucks who are the pain of my existence (i find golden hand movement to be entrancing, actually).
and if you didn't figure out that you could agility bind/panic (via tentarafroo or other means). after the battle, regardless of the outcome (i defeated them), zen just... spells it out for you, tells you directly what strategy you could use.
and i just found that... so very interesting? like yeah, to some people they may look at this and go, "yeah, forced tutorial moment." and i can see that (not that i felt that this instance was a bad thing!).
the point that i'm trying to get at is that i'm particularly interested in how zen knows this. like... to know an innate weakness and countermeasure to them... and when the vr attendants very early on discussed that you shouldn't be able to find living humans in the culture festival, and if you do, they're probably tied to persona/shadow-like entities. i'm like. zen are you pulling this out of your ass because you were a shadow once. i'm shaking him back and forth like a tree in animal crossing!! rah!! tell me your secrets!!!
or of course. the game could just have chosen zen to be a vehicle to give this information to the player and i'm looking way too much into things. i don't think persona should give me another amnesiac character again. i will go crazy over trying to dissect them and see if they challenge the norm of amnesiac persona characters or not. i probably sound like im beating a dead horse but GUYS IM ONTO SOMETHING I THINK.
in any case, i feel the game has had really nice ways of emphasizing the importance of status ailments. way back earlier near the start of the 2nd labryinth, the quest legendary medicine required you to agility bind some lust snakes, and i feel like this kinda alluded to the importance of certain status effects over others? idk. i just think its neat to see how certain quests and monsters can teach you things, y'know? video games...! ๐ฅบ๐
i'm reallly looking forward to playing more! while i'd like to finish the group date cafe who knows how sidetracked i'll get... but the floor feels pretty straightforward lol so. we shall see!