#thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life

[abstractlesbian]

Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.

[p-antomime]

hi kiki my darling!! i am back, did you miss me? anyways... i am back and i want to know your thoughts about virgin!bokuto wanting to lose his virginity with kuroo's gf (like, bo just cant help himself, kuroo's gf is always so nice and kind and lovely with everyone)

🍓 nonnie

OF COURSEEEE I MISSED YOU?? where have you been my luv ? and you already come here with your juicy lovely brain and offer me mr. bokuto + kuroo? thats lovely from you!

ᨦ. tw: virginity loss, breeding!kink, hints of cucking, voyeurism, cunniligus.

just imagine bokuto having to excuse himself to the bathroom on one of the many outings he had with you and kuroo, it was already common for the three of you to go out together and bokuto loved those hours because it meant more time spent with you, and him opening one of the doors of the cubicles of the various male bathrooms ready to unbutton his pants, pull them down and start fisting his cock that was painfully confined until that moment; bokuto couldn't help himself anymore: the unique sight of you wearing a sundress that rose every time the wind whipped against your body was too much for him, for his virginal sanity.

in that bathroom, bokuto leaned against one of the walls as he moved his hand at an already very fast pace, teasing his swollen tip, leaking pre-cum by the bunch, fantasizing that someday he would have your mouth around it, sucking and licking and wanting to swallow every last drop of his hot cum. as your name fell through his lips and he closed his eyes tightly, bokuto tried to convince himself that if you weren't with kuroo, you would fuck a virgin like him, a virgin who couldn't go more than two days without getting off furiously at the thought of having your pussy, which would definitely be better than a hand, clenching down on his dick and taking it so deep that you would have him cumming as soon as his tip kissed your cervix and fucked you as good as your boyfriend.

koutaro would be so, but SO immersed in his own thoughts, even forcing hips against his own fist, that he wouldn't even notice someone, kuroo, going into the bathroom looking for his friend because it had been almost 10 minutes since he had left the table at the mall and was never seen again. And then, suddenly, kuroo understood whose voice was moaning and panting in that completely inhospitable bathroom except for the two of them and, even more: he realized that the main name coming from those lips, besides several "P-Please", "cannot ngh, just a lil more", was precisely that of his girlfriend.

at first, kuroo thought about kicking the door open just to scare bokuto a little bit, but then realized that maybe it was too mean and didn't take too long in that bathroom; it was better just to let that pathetic virgin finish getting off and kuroo was praying not to be haunted by his own friend's moans after that day of revelations, but maybe his bathtime had been too long right after you and him went back to his place since on weekends you slept there. you already knew what long baths meant to kuroo and also that it was only a matter of time before he called you to join him and the steam from the water mixed with your moans as he was deep inside your tight pussy so desired by bokuto.

bokuto who popped into kuroo's mind again when he was about to cum inside you and he bit down hard on your shoulder cursing loudly while he had the best climax of his life thinking about what it would be like if his best friend fucked you, but, obviously, someone had to control that virgin if he got too tricky & messy with you. and, deep down, wouldn't kuroo be doing him a favor? letting him fuck the girl of his dreams and, as a bonus, helping him lose his virginity? — this is exactly what bokuto was told the following week while the three of you were in his bedroom, him sitting on the edge of the bed and you and kuroo standing in front of him as if you were offering him a pot of gold.

and indeed, it was a pot of gold for bokuto, he almost came just by receiving kuroo's blessing and permission to fuck you and to finally feel a raw pussy around his fat cock.

bokuto barely knew how to eat you out, he had zero actual experience and kuroo was the first person to wrap fingers on his hair and guide his head up, down, sideways against your dripping pussy while you said out loud what his tongue should do, how much pressure to apply and your moans filled his ears and made his dick harder than ever. in the end, you squirted all over his pretty, blushy face and obviously bokuto was never going to miss the opportunity to feel your thighs trying to smother him as he sank his tongue between your folds trying to lick up every last drop of your juices.

as soon as kuroo had spoken, "you remember what I said at the beginning, don't you, bo? no cumming inside, 'm dead serious" pulling bokuto's face smeared in the liquids of your pussy away from between your legs, your virgin boy understood that it was time to finally sink inside you and prove to himself that he could fuck you just as good as your attentively watching boyfriend. and he wanted to try a very specific position, your legs pressed against your tits and pussy ready to be pounded; perfect mating press for a perfect virgin boy.

bokuto tried to go slowly, an inch at a time, tried to enjoy the feeling of his veins rubbing against your velvety walls and them also squeezing him massively, but it was too much for him. he thought he was ready to fuck his best friend's girlfriend, but before he even buried himself completely all his cum was being gushed deep inside you and kuroo knew this as soon as a white circle started to form at the base of his shaft.

"k-kuroo, 'm so, sorry, her ngh pussy, 's tight 'n good, i cannot", bokuto would whimper ready to beg for kuroo's forgiveness, since the one thing he wasn't supposed to do ended up being done before he could control himself.

and then kuroo would simply put his hands on his best friend's hips and finish pushing them against yours to make his cock bury itself completely inside your tight little pussy, to which you both moaned loudly and you felt his cum being pushed even deeper.

"finish fucking my girlfriend and worry later 'bout cumming with no permission inside of her," kuroo said looking at your face over one of bokuto's shoulders, but you were too lost in your own pleasure to notice him staring at you, "fuck her, bokuto"

it was going to be a long night of overstimulation of his dick that was determined to use you as a cocksleeve.

— haikyū masterlist.

[alicentsgf]

I want to like Rhaenicent but I feel like Alicent protects Rhaenyra and cares for her way more than Rhaenyra does for her. Adult Rhaenicent seems rather one sided to me ngl. One way Rhaenyra betrayed Alicent was by marrying Daemon, a man who absolutely despises the Hightowers and who wouldn’t hesitate to slaughter Alicent’s children. Does Rhaenyra really not realize how ruthless Daemon is? Daemon is arguably the biggest threat to the Green kids who are Rhaenyra’s own siblings. It just kills me that Alicent stood up to her abuser for Rhaenyra’s life in 1x09 and Rhaenyra has never done anything of that severity for Alicent. And Rhaenyra will likely never know how much Alicent fought to save her. Idk, I just feel like Alicent deserves someone who will love her completely. I can’t see Rhaenyra being that person with the way she’s disregarded Alicent’s worries and feelings.

I'm going to be totally honest and I say this with love... a lot of it becomes easily justifiable for me when i acknowledge that Rhaenyra is just a bit dense. like shes always been sheltered and naive, to the point of genuine stupidity sometimes. she isnt inherently so but her father stomped all over her developing any kind of critical mind early on and she did nothing to overcome that mistake. she became far too comfortable with Viserys waving his crown and magic-ing her problems away and its just a fact shes never managed to see things from alicents perspective... but that doesnt mean alicent isnt as equally important to her as she is to alicent. please bear with me because i promise i will explain this fully.

but first of all, to answer your question 'does rhaenyra not realise how ruthless daemon is?' I mean, giving her the benefit of the doubt ...maybe not? shes pretty much always always seen the best side of daemon. with viserys. with her. with their children. what does she know of daemons genuine ruthlessness? we cant say for sure. once again, giving her the full benefit of the doubt, we dont even know if rhaenyras aware that daemon murdered rhea. like daemons not exactly gonna bring it up and who else would dare suggest that to her of all people? sure shes seen him fight at tourneys she knows hes capable of killing but thats a controlled enviroment where its expected. and she clearly feels safe enough with him personally otherwise she wouldnt have laughed in his face after her grabbed her neck.

its going to be very interesting to see what they do with B&C for this reason. because if rhaenyra isnt involved, at least in the Details... will she be shocked by what daemon is capable of? depends on what version of rhaenyra we get post-luke i suppose. but i dont know if i believe they're likely to have her go That dark so quickly that she'd agree to B&C. (sorry. tangent.)

imo you have to try and see her perspective - rhaenyra is deeply Confused. she thought for many years alicent just suddenly Hated her on the basis of her /loose morals/, like purely hated her, the girl she loved is Gone overnight right when they'd begun to reconcile, and she couldnt really understand why. she just does not understand alicents perspective and she cant begin to fathom alicents situation. and in a way, how could she? shes never faced similar limitations theres an argument to be made she wouldnt be able to even conceptualise it without alicent taking her by the hand and walking her through it. even when they were friends i doubt rhaenyra thought about the privileges she held over alicent (after all, she was a child, it was just what she knew and as far as she could see alicent got to do everything she did so there was no visual imbalance). from rhaenyras point of view, all those years alicent was being unnecessarily antagonistic over something that didnt effect her. this girl she loved and in rhaenyras eyes she is betraying her again and again and again. and rhaenyra thought all that because she couldnt see the bigger picture. how could she begin to understand 'alicent fears what my reign could mean for her children' when viserys actively disencouraged her political interest - her opinion on that point would likely only be 'well obviously i would make sure nothing happened to them', not understanding that That isnt the reassurance she thinks it is.

so yeah. rhaenyra truly doesnt understand what went on or whats going on. but alicent Does (and this imbalance is perfectly demonstrated by the dialogue in the knife scene because, lets be honest, alicent pins down the situation and how rhaenyra fits into it kind of perfectly... whereas rhaenyra incorrectly attributes alicents rage to 'righteousness', not fear.). and personally i think thats why it seems unbalanced or one sided, especially in episode 8. alicent could afford to be genuine, rhaenyra isnt hard to read, whereas rhaenyra still had her guard up because she was just so fucking confused lmao. she briefly saw the gentle, beautiful, kind girl she was in love with in alicents treatment of a dying viserys at the dinner table - and upon realising alicent actually Does still have that side to her rhaenyra doesnt know what to do except subtlety apologise for perhaps not truly Seeing alicent and for accusing her of trying to harm viserys. she thought the alicent she knew was long dead until that moment - the girl has got emotional whiplash. so its not that rhaenyra loves alicent less. her reactions in episode 10 make it very clear there is still A Lot going on there for her (and we know emma d'arcy's pov on it was that rhaenyra genuinely considers conceding the throne with the hope of alicent 'taking her back'). shes just very very Very muddled about whether the current version of alicent is Still the person she loves...

and i think maybe 'love' is the wrong word for what they have when theres so much piled on top but its definitely a devotion. its this constant need to reconcile and be close that they just cant shake because a part of them will always desire the other.

tl;dr rhaenyra is just... kinda dumb god bless. and their imbalance is in their ability to understand the situation, not in the amount of love thats held.

(besides they were never exactly going to be a healthy equal deserving love thats not the point of them imo. they are a missed opportunity. a greek tragedy. starcrossed lovers. etc)

[zstargalaxy]

Heard you're new to Tumblr, welcome!

I love the Twst x Pokemon MC crossover so much.

So, take your time with this one. How would the Heartslabyul boys react to finding a Flabebe for a first time. As in they have no idea what it is and thought it was some kind of fairy?

I think plenty of cute moments could happen in that situation but I wanna know what you think.

Me too! I have a perfect few scenarios in mind, though i might make them short, i will try to make them pleasable and full of fluff! :)

TWISTED WONDERLAND x POKEMON

HEARTSLABYUL x Flabebe MC

♥️BEFORE MAIN STORY♥️

Believe it or not, Riddle was the first one who had found you.

You were still a young bloomer fairy type and was kinda hungry when you were wandering and admiring the lovely rose maze that had surrounded the Red Dorm.

You didnt know how you got there in the first place but you didnt seem to care for hunger had taken over your senses, which had lead you to the window of the kitchen in the Heartslabyul dorm.

At the time, Riddle wasnt Dorm Leader yet so he had meet you through he's time of duty to paint the roses according to the rules of the dorm.

The then first-year was taken back at your sudden appearance at the rose maze.

He had heard and are aware that there are fairies that roam around Night Raven College but dont exactly approach students directly.

So imagine he's suprise when he had saw you.

You didnt look like any fairy he had seen or heard.

He might probably think that your a some kind of garden fairy with how your so drawn to the roses.

But some how, one thing led to the next with you two becoming quite inseparable after you were curiously looking at him as he work.He couldnt stop himself from thinking how cute you are when you tried to copy him in painting the roses red.

Especially on trying to carry a paint brush that is to big for you.

Heck, you even follow him like how little ducklings would do with their mom.

Of course, Riddle wasnt very comfortable at first but he quickly gotten use to your presence which is kinda unlike him.

He already knew the consequences of slacking off on he's studies but...He couldnt force himself from being apart from for some reason.

Along with the rest of the members of the Heartslabyul Dorm.

Many were in shock to see the first year being followed by some kind of fairy, especially how fae can tend to act around humans but your cuteness is just to much to resist!

You found this place very wierd to be honest but in a fun way!

You love how big the space is for you to fly around.

The garden outside with all it's red and white roses were beautiful.

And the tea parties and unbirthday parties were the best!

The previous prefect and vice even decided to secratly made you an honorary little garden fairy of the Heartslabyul dorm.

Even after Riddle became Prefect, he still let you kept your title seeing as it fits your helpfulness around the dorm.

Though, still young as you are, didnt understand what does that mean but you knew that you are gonna show them that you are a big girl!

You celebrated by letting out sparkles around Riddle and soon the whole tea part participants with smiles and laughter around the area.

Of course, Cater and Trey were also among the suprise Heartslabyul students.

You reminded Trey of he's little siblings back at home, especielly when you help him with the food for the tea parties and trying to sneakily eat a piece of dessert without him knowing.

He soon learn that you somehow like honey when he was using some for some pastries and when you gotten yourself coated in it when you try to open the jar.

But he also appreciates your determined helpfulness around the dorm despite your small stature.

Perhaps thats what makes you and Riddle relate.

Trey cant help but let out a bittersweet smile at the thought, but nonetheless, he is happy to see he's friend happy once more.

Cater found you so adorable! Instantly taking pics of ya in Magicam that soon have hundreds of views and likes from how cute you were in the shots.

He even taken videos of you using your "magic"/moves around the garden.

You love how cheerful Cater isn especially when the two of you play togather when painting the roses, he is one of your favorite best friends! (Along side Trey and Riddle).

Oh how he wish that you were he's little sister.

You view Riddle as your Mommy/Big brother.

You two are always togather and everyone in the dorm knows that.

Of course, Riddle will not neglect in teaching you the 810 rules of the Queen of Heart's dorm so that you wont broke them.

You didnt understand most of them nor remember all of them but you tried your very best to make Riddle happy.

And it paid off with some of the dorm residents calling you as the 2nd vice prefect with you are always by he's side and always report him about someone who is breaking the rules.

This was during he's first year so he wasnt exactly that hard core in the main story.

But you also didnt always tell him who had broken the rules.

You made sure to remind the person about the rule that they had or about to break by circling around them with some kind of sparkles or pollen since they cant understand you.

By doing this, they knew the message right away.

And whenever a Heartslabyul students are gonna brawl it out and that Riddle isnt gonna use he's UM on them, its you with your "magical" pollen that makes them instantly and made them calm and relax.

When summer came, you cried a river when Riddle told you that you had to stay.

It breaks both of your hearts but Riddle cant let he's mom knew of you, he cant lose you too.

Many of the residents let out bittersweet bye and you giving out a "Flabebe!" as a goodbye to them as they left for summer break.

Cater made one last pic before promising you with the other residents that you all will come back soon.

Trey even left a cake for you before he left for home.

As soon as they left, the dorm was empty.

Of course, you continue watching over the garden but it wasnt the same.

You always eat Trey's cake alone during late nights, even crying out a river with fat sad tears as you wonder why they didnt bring you.

You asked Arcerus above why they didnt bring you.

Soon, curioisty gotten the best of you as you pull your white fairy flower to go explore the campus that you barely got to see.

Due to this exploration of yours, you had meet the other fairies in NRC that were all doing their thing when you had approach them.

The fairies were suprise to see such a young of their kind in such place.

This place is too dangerous for someone as young as you.

But they cant help but wonder what type of fea are you.

They can feel that you are a fea but dont what kind.

Yet nonetheless, the fairies quickly took you in as they kept you company through out the summer.

Some even were disgusted and horrified that the studnets of your dorm had left you, a fea toddler, on her own.

They made a promise to lecture them about it.

♥️MAIN STORY♥️

Riddle, Trey and Cater happily beam at the sigh of you happily flying towards them in your flower as you joyfully dance around them and the new students with your pollen as to welcome them (back) to the dorm.

Riddle indulge himself, for once since he's return to him, to finally relax from such a tiring and troublesome day had during the ceremony earlier with a certain cat and magicless character.

The older dorm members smiled and greeted you as they had missed you during the summer break but the 1st years had expressions if shock and bewilderment at the sight of a fea-like creature greeting them upon entry at to their new dorm.

They had the same expressions and thoughts like Riddle and the other students like him had when they first see you for the first time last year.

During Riddle's introduction to the new members about Heartslabyul and that they should be obligated to the rules of the Queen of Hearts, he gastured towards you as he tell the 1st years that you are the dorm's personal garden fairy and that they shall treat you with respect aswell.

Many of the 1st years who are aware about the nature of feas were shock, considering how feas dont exactly approach or even like humans to the point of becoming their personal helper but the whispers were quickly shut with a single glare from the housewarden as they all were now disperse for now.

During that night ,when it was bedtime, Riddle rock you to sleep just like he did last year as he made sure to keep you comfortably cozy on the pillow that you always sleep on, with both of you content during your slumbers.

A soft smile grace your little mouth.

Oh how you had missed this and you hope he will never leave you alone again.

During one night, you had spotted a student with a heart on he's face light at night with a fridge wide open, allowing lighg through the dark late evening as he was about to eat one of the tarts that you helped Trey with for the upcoming Unbirthday party.

Alarmed, you quickly float towards him and made gastures to make him stop eating the tart before he would get into any trouble with Riddle.

Ace, the one who is eating the tart, was suprise like among he's fellow first years when he had first saw you but currently, he is hungry so he tried to shoo you away or tell you that he was hungry, in which you understand but Riddle would get mad!

Yet Riddle found out upon entering the kitchen and collared Ace right on the spot.

You let out a sighed at your failed attempts to stop him, feeling quite sad that you failed as you tried to follow the first year until Riddle had stop you, telling you that you no longer have to worry about Ace any longer and that it was he's problem and he's alone but Riddle quickly brighten your mood by offering some honey since you did caught Ace on the act.

He quickly pulled you and him back to bed as he did he's usually routine with you before going to sleep, but this time he allowed you to sleep on the same bed togather, cuddling away into the night.

You officially meet him, Deuce, Yuu and Grim was when you stubbornly follow Trey to the kitchen, considering that you wanted to go out of the dorm and finally take a small break from your little work.

And made sure to keep he's not gonna prank the noobies like he had done to ya with the oyster sauce.

Yuck.

Deuce had seen and heard about you so he was very excited to meet such a cute fea, especielly how you kinda act like small child or sibling that wants to help in doing big jobs like he had with he's mom.

He enjoy he's time of decorating the tart with you, especielly on the whip cream part where you have cream all over you as you lick it all up from your tiny hands with happy squeaks and giggles and when you helped in calming him down by spreading your pollen all over him to relax he's anger over the delinquents.

Grim were shock to see a fea, a baby/kid one nonetheless, but didnt think anything special about ya but did ended up having a small competition with you on the chestnuts.

Yuu thought you were adorable, liking how you helped around in making the apology tart for Ace to give.

Ace thought you were like Riddle, since he had seen you always by he's side but he cant deny the help (and reassurance) you gave for him to apologise to Riddle.

You had sent out Fairy wind when Trey had done the joke.

The sight of several collared students in the lounge area was horror to behold, as you tried to chear them up with some of your small party tricks and spread some pollen to help them relax abit...

But if only it had worked on you aswell.

When the day had finally come....lets just say it there were alot has happened and it was just the beginning.

You never had seen Riddle act like this before, never in your life have you had seen such rage and anger that he had displayed right before your eyes as you hide behind Trey and Cater in fear.

As the Adeuce and Ramshackle duo had been kicked out, you tried to follow them to only be stopped by Riddle to just let them be and after what you had seen him, you hesitantly oblifge but decided to stay abit away from him out of fear.

And soon after that, Riddle and you have been very distant with the former no fool to the situation yet didnt seem to try to explain to you as you two started to drift away more and more with you even started to sleep more with Trey to avoid him.

Your friendship with Riddle strained even more after he had insulted Ace and Deuce during their tournament for the Housewarden position and to overthrow him.

Was this the Riddle you know? Why was he acting like a meanie? Why was he so...so.... Was he just...pretending?

Despite the tears spilling out 9f your eyes, you quickly stood against him and used all your attacks against him.

Riddle was taken by surprise, along with everyone else, as he was knocked over and hit by your attacks but he was able to collar ya aswell after he had lift up he's pen through the attacks.

It was hurting.

Your prickled tears finally spilled into full on waterfalls as Riddle even insluted as to why he even let you be in the dorm with how you are acting like them aswell.

That was the final straw for Ace to hit a punch.

After the whole Overblot mess, Cater quickly had came to you with your still intact flower in hand as he soothed you through your frighten state as you hiccup here and there with tears.

Riddle quickly apologise to you after he had remembered of what he had said to you.

He apogise and apologise with tears at how he had insulted you, the first perso who had gave the same feeling that he had with Trey and Chenya in a long time.

You two hug it out in a tender embrace as Ace kept on rambling that he's crying wasnt enough for an apologise with the others watching you and Riddle but you both ignore it for now, enjoying the needed hug to your hearts contents.

{BONUS!}

"Catch him! CATCH HIM!!!"

Che'nya giggled as he carried you away to go off to RSA with very angry Heartslabyul students chasing you two down throughout the whole dorm.

"Nya~ Riddle need CATch up, hihihihihi~" the purple cat beastman chuckled, making you look up in confusion of what does he mean by that "What do you mean mister kitty???" You asked, floating your way up to he's face to level up againsg him. He only giggled as he hold you and your flower gently in he's hands to get both of you away even further to continue your little game of chase that he had started when he had "kidnapped" ya away from the revenge unbirthday party.

"You will learn soon, little Alice. You will learn soon~ ;3 "

Sorry that itvwas pretty long. I got carried away and had so much ideas that i wanted to put and limited into this work so I am sorry for the lengthy writing but I do hope that you enjoy it :)

[wormbloggign]

dream sequence babeyy!!

ive heard of people realising theyre dreaming by noticing things that are out of order but combining that with how much taylors fighting style of switching out her knife and baton leads her to instinctually search for her backup tool (even without her explicit weapons she has a lot of preprepared tools to work with in a pinch, like how she selectively readies her insect loadout or the utilities of tissues and coins) really elevates the moment for me

this girl has battle trauma! (not an actual diagnosis)

and she's pulled back in! this dream sequence isnt letting you out without a fight!

damn girl what happened to make you so v- oh yeah i forgot

outside of the child soldier conditioning of it all, this is really funny

if taylor didnt have a horiffic pre-hero cape life, this would be noelle "healing" her of the horrors

ITS THE FLOCKER (FLESH LOCKER)

ah, i had misinterpreted the dreams premise. WORST DAYS WORLD TOUR BABEYYY!!!!

(she might be here a while)

taylors two worst enemies; machines and heat

its good to know ammo doesnt reset when entering a new level (sorry, that one was in poor taste)

that team-up would be devastating, a firework that turns all organisms left in the fall-off carnivorous (and hungry) or a flash-grenade that leaves a slow growing network of skin that links up to people on contact, hooking into their nervous system and pain receptors. wish we couldve seen it

skitters pure tactical sense makes two of her an absolute nightmare to fight against, combining that with the removal of her normal ethical restrictions means one hell of a boss fight

i cant believe evil skitter gets to do quips. well at least a version of taylor gets to achieve her dreams

thats what happens when you keep a bird themed character in a cage, eventually theyre going to fly free

on a side note, how's canary going?

an interesting lineup, i guess hookwolf didnt leave much of an impression

is... is weld immune to echidnas power because of his lack of biomatter?

thematically resonant if true.

i wonder if she can do what panacea did and supply the bugs with interference, shutting down the line of control

nah amy was probably doing horrifically unethical things to those bugs minds and bodies, it's what she does when she isnt restricted by her code

i love it when we get to see a characters actions taken out of context and suddenly our pattern recognition brain starts to construct a false narrative of intent

#justevillawyerthings

ok no yeah that ones exactly what you think it was

(theres no way weld isnt at least suspicious of corruption within his ranks)

i LOVE niche power interactions and their implications

(rachel has, in some way been harming even those she holds closest through her lashing out and her violent tendencies)

dont even worry about it bestiee

they wanted your head long before this

[omi-papus]

What was that soulmate AU idea someone had where Robin had always been inexplicably obsesed with aliens, and Al-An just sort of never liked anyone for thousands of years?

Ok tag that for me if anyone knows who came up with that.

So for personal reasons Im going to take out my rapidly depleting sanity into a little concept rn. Imagine if you will.

Robin Ayou has been staring at the sky since day one. Even as a baby kid shes been looking up, and often throws a fit when shes not allowed to look at the sky. withouth any actual explanation as to exactly why. Her mom tries to put little glow in the dark stars on her roof but it dosent work. She grows up other wise normal, eccept she starts getting curious about all the things around her. She loves animals, and plants and all the living things around her, even the fungi in the sourdough bread shes told really rich people get to eat. Still shes drawn to the sky. Actually finding herself dealing with mild regular neck pains from how much she looks up without meaning to. Sam realizes this and eventually comes to think she might like to learn about astronomy, and she tries to teach her. But when all she hears about the sky is that theres rocks, stars and big lumps of gas

She cries.

And she cries and cries and cries at being told thats all thats up there. It breaks her heart that beyond the clouds is just dead matter and emptyness, like she had expected something else. Sam tries desperatly to calm her down, trying to talk to her about the stars, and tells her about how they are made and how they glow, and thats the moment Robin for the first time tells anyone,

That shes never really liked the stars

Or the clowds

Or the sunset

The bright blue or pitch black

She dosent care about any of it. So far in her life, everyone asumes shes been admiring something, any of those previous things. And it turns out that no, Robin has never cared about any of that. And finally, Sam chooses to ask why. And the thing is, she cant answer. Because she has as much of an understanding of her own fixation as anyone else. But she still dosent want to belive that theres “nothing cool” up there, and Sam in one final attempt to make her stop crying, opens up a radom little book, and shows her a page of something in particular.

A goat.

Or something kind of like it. Its legs are weird.

Robin imediatly stops crying. Sam is dumbfounded but nervously she keeps going,

“This is an Olimpion goat. They live in one of the other planets in the sky”

And if they hadnt seen Robin loose her utter mind before, they sure did now. It was all but set in stone EXACTLY where her life was going from that second on. She became obsesed with alien species instantly. Going so off the wall in learning and studying everything she could about all of them that shed needed to get a PDA before the age her mom wanted her to have one, because she needed to carry something around that could remind her to eat drink and sleep.

The interest did not lessen in the slightest over the years, she had calmed down a bit. Robin never stopped being a fun social and emotional person. Now every time she looked up at the sky she was filled with thoughts of what had finally become her final goal, to discover an alien species herself.

At some other time, a little architect baby found himself struggling to not bother everyone with his surprisingly loud thoughts about the exact calculations of distance to the nearest foregin planet. Face pointed straight at the ground. He knew what was there, he could sweep the network for all sort of memories and facts about it, and in an almost petulent way wined about said records being incomplete. Why? He didny know but he was certain, that there was something off, some piece of missing information. That was clearly not in his planet, so he could only guess ir would be in the next one. The adults kept drilling into his head that just asuming something with no statistical basis was wrong, a gut feeling was not something to be acounted for.

It was his inhability to get rid of this gut feeling that made it so that he had to properly integrate to architect society later than the rest of his brood. Being also aparently concerning for his dificulty to not stare at the floor constantly, stuck in a singular thought so much he couldnt quite take in the world around him. He was given his external arms far later than others, because he was never looking at what he was doing with them.

Eventually he was able to recontextualize his thoughts. He convinced himself that this secret piece of missing knowledge was simply a desire to advance further, and that statistically there HAD to be something they didnt know yet. In all honestly he didnt genuenly feel exactly like that. He somehow knew, there was something in particular that was inherently important to him that he was just being denied for some reason.

It took milenia to train himself to “think correctly” enough for the network to finally be unable to judge his abilities based on a thought that was burried so deep it was basically forgotten. And finally, they realized his incredible talent and scientific prowes. He proved everyone wrong. He focused on that, on the recognition he had craved for so long. On the oportunities he was finally given. He would kill that damned irrational feeling with his bare claws as many times as it took. He forced himself to face forward, almost wanting to hit himself every time he so much as leaned his head slightly lower.

For thousands of years thats how he lived, and eventually he manages to forget compleatly.

How could he even think about that when his species is going extinct.

The bacteria is killing them all by the thousands, all of their attempts to fight it off fail, so a desicion is reached, the most valuble assets have to be evacuated imediatly and the planet must be compleatly locked up. And they choose him. He can no longer hold back, he objects, he wants to stay, to help, to do anything, but they do not agree. And he is dragged kicking and screaming into a a ship, where he is sent away, crying out the whole time, slowly hearing the network loosing faith in his ability once more, when they hear his desperate, irrational cries. He cant do it, hes scared.

And it comes back.

His unbased though about that missing link, it takes over. He needs it, he bends his head downwards compleatly, unable to look at his home fade away, he needs his precious incomprenehensible answer to come to him. Not the cure, not the solution, just that one part of him thats missing. Hes terrified and he needs it.

And then he feels his network, how as he drifts away they all realize in unison, that they are doomed.

“You werent the one we should have sent to save us. You havent changed at all.”

Is all he can hear before hes disconnected. Alone. He cant lift his head for lightyears after that.

The emergency ship has no destionstion, its just meant to go as far away as posible.

Robins crew is lost, the phase gate has had a malfunction and they ended up way farther away than they needed to be.

Eventually, one ship collides and at some other point, another lands.

Robin is the first one to venture out into the new planet, one thats compleatly off the grid, and seemingly devoid of life. Nothing but firm ice enveloping it hole. But shes eccited. She gets out, looks up,

And finds herself looking back down rather quickly. Like her neck isnt pushing itself up like it normally does. It actually kind of scares her. She seraches around for suplies or anything she can find to help out her crew, and at one point someone asks her.

“Whats over there?”

She is confused. They tell her shes been staring off into one specific direction. Now they never tell her which but somehow her head goes instinctively to it, in a hauntingly familiar way. She blinks perplexed a cuple of times.

But shes always trusted her gut feelings.

So she grabs a hoverbike out the ship, telling her cowerkers that she will scout the area, not a total lie, but not quite honest either.

She darts off, not looking around, but speeding, head first into the same direction her head points her to.

His ship has long since sunk under the ice. He cannot walk well, but his hooves, spliced from the hardy goats of Olimpion keep him standing firmly in the ice. He could teleport, but why would he. He just walks, agonizingly slowly. He is heading in a specific direction, hes calculated that in aproximately four trillion years, the planets will crash with the neighboring celestial body, and hes gone and found the exact spot where they will colide.

That should do the trick. He hasnt found anything else in this empty planet that could take him out of his misery.

He curses his ever growing gut feeling again.

He suddenly lifts his head to look at nothing, revising his calculations once again, hes arrived. Now he waits. He checks again. And another time. Once again from the start just to make sure.

Robin hears an alarm. She dosent stop moving, but looks down at the energy meter on her hoverbike. She realizes its just about dead. She gets only a second to panick before it halts compleatly, sending her flying forward.

The architect, is pulled out of his thoughts, by an unidentified object flying in his general direction. Without thinking, he catches the aproaching blur in his anti gravity beam. Holding it still above him.

It takes a cuple second for things to stop moving, but after he shakes his head and she opens her eyes again.

She looks down.

And he looks up.

[everythingsinred]

I spent a whole day reading your Natsume analysis and am so excited to read Mikan's version. I wanted to ask about your thoughts on what Natsume was doing during the four years he was apart from Mikan. In Kageki, we learn that he took a lot of missions to get credit. But what do you think his mental state was like? Do you have any fic recs? I love making myself sad from Natsumikan angst.

hi! im so happy you read the natsume analysis! it makes me happy to hear people enjoyed it! i just recently made a table of contents for my essays and general ga postings so if you need help navigating the mikan essays, check out my pinned post <3

to answer your questions about what natsume was up to while mikan was gone, im pretty sure in kageki narumi mentioned that natsume had some negative behavior and attitude, but the extent of that is left vague. allegedly the missions he went on after she left were not alice-heavy or life-threatening but we know that one of those missions was to be toma's bodyguard and... bodyguarding tends to be dangerous? thats in the job description, pretty much literally. im not entirely sure how he was expected to bodyguard WITHOUT using his alice, but thats what they imply. did he take martial arts? did he carry a gun? who knows really. either way he should not have been permitted to continue doing any missions.

just in general, i think he was pretty depressed without mikan around. i mean natsume was in a HORRIBLE suicidal depression for two years before he met her and falling in love with her happened because she saw value in his life that he hadnt seen before. while she was there, he had developed a sense of purpose in his life and a will to live he hadnt had. it was bc of her that he started bonding with class b. now that shes gone, im sure hes very upset especially because its not certain he'll ever be allowed to see her again, granted he even lives that long.

but as much as i see him being depressed and a little miserable, he still has friends and a strong support system at the academy now. he has his best friend, plus the kids he allowed himself to befriend while mikan was around. theres pictures in the memorial book that depict middle-school aged natsume hanging out with The Boiz, and there's photographs in kageki that imply he wasnt completely isolating himself from his classmates during mikan's absence.

so with that in mind, i think he's depressed and sad about mikan being gone for sure, but he still has a will to live, a support system, and a sense of purpose (seeing mikan again) so that he isnt ENTIRELY devastated during those few years.

we can see when he reunites with her that he kinda expected her to remember him as soon as she saw him, and that gives us insight into how exactly he processed her stolen memories. (smth like, "she doesnt remember anything. so even if i did see her id probably have to make her fall in love w me again and im not even sure how i did it the first time! but she did love me right? i mean if she really loved me, she'd remember me eventually. i cant imagine forgetting her so im sure since she loved me that she'll remember as soon as she sees me!" and then he holds onto that thought so tightly that he ends up shocked that she doesnt remember). those thoughts probably kept him afloat too.

i really have mixed feelings about mikan leaving the academy in the first place though. i just dont think that plot point was executed very well so i never really got very into it.

as for fanfic recs, i cant think of many off the top of my head that have much to do with that time period of natsume on his own, but there is this one, (paths that lead home by MCaroba) which is about natsume going on a road trip with his friends!

as for angsty fics that are NOT related to that specific time period, here are some:

Ten Years to Date by November Romeo (the kids are assigned to write about their futures and natsume refuses. canon!verse one shot) (ps lots of her canon fics are in the same universe and theres a deal of angst involved there too, though her canon!verse fics take place in an alternate future of the kids in high school. i do recommend reading pretty much everything she's written for ga)

Tired by FearandLoathingXIX (hurt/comfort related to natsume's sickness. canon!verse one shot)

My Happy Ending by Little Miss Giggle (au where the kids go to a music school.... it starts off silly and fun but it gets pretty damn angsty. multichapter and one of the better known fics in the fandom)

Steal (my breath away) by Rock-n-Round (au one shot where alices exist but they're a bit weird and hard to explain. this one is EVISCERATING. and very beautiful)

Before You Hit the Ground by Ducky-san (au multi-chapter fic where mikan runs away from an abusive home and meets natsume who is in a gang against his will. i actually LOVE this fic so much... but it does contain some triggering material, like discussions of child abuse and implied sexual abuse.)

Right Before Your Eyes by pressuredtreasure (au... i don't think i can say much about this without spoiling it, but it's basically mikan missing natsume)

Oh Hello World also writes a lot of one shots, some of which are pretty angsty.

i'm really sad.... i was gonna link some other fics but i couldn't find them or remember their names and i'm scared they've been taken down. ah the pain of being in an old, less active fandom...

i also write fics too! ive only written aus so far (incidentally, not on purpose), but the angstiest is probably all things rancid and delicate, which is about mikan in a cult (it has a lot of dark elements to it)

im sorry if youre not much an au person, but i havent read much new ga ffn recently and not many good ones have survived the test of time it seems. it's all very sad. i miss reading fanfic all the time AND having lowered standards for gaffn specifically...

i hope i've answered your questions! if you have any other questions feel free to shoot me another ask! i love talking abt ga <3

[prismatoxic]

tox. tox. tox. i cant even. THE LATEST CHAPTER???? HELLO???? i was gonna comment but i felt like i wouldnt be able to get my energy across- OUFUGGHPGIHGHO???? OUHOGIDHAJAIGOHA????;!??!!?? THE CALL!!?!??!!! "wow, you really ARE different..." "whats that supposed to mean?" AREUGGGOGFURHHHGFRGHTH

CHIL REPEATING THE WORD "DOG" IN HIS NATIVE LANGUAGE. I CAN HEAR IT. well i mean i actually hear it in Filipino because thats my native language but still. i can imagine it so well. i love them your honor... they are silly...

also:

"what are you even doing???"

"dont worry about it. anyways let me send you thousands of dollars-"

"THOUSA-??!??!"

"DONT WORRY ABOUT IT"

I KNOW THATS NOT THE ACTUAL VIBE THATS BEING AIMED FOR HERE BUT THE PHRASING MADE ME GIGGLE BECAUSE CHIL.... YOU SOUND SO SUSPICIOUS. BY NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION YOU MAKE IT SOUND A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS

anyways great chapter thank you thank you thank you 🫶🫶🫶🫶

~ phio phoefickle ✌️

(p.s. meijack you are in SO much unserious trouble....)

both direct comments and tumblr asks are good for me, it's serotonin right to my veins either way :3 there's a thread in my chilaios server where people also just liveblog their thoughts at me and i'm very hinged about the praise (<- lying)

honestly i love when people think of chilchuck in their own culture... i've seen some friends talk about latino chilchuck, it's so fun. and it's not like we have a tolkien-esque dictionary of half-foot so imagining it in your own language makes sense to me!!

AND YEAH... HONESTLY... you have picked up on something there that i did intentionally, LMAO. so while it's not the vibe chilchuck intended, it's the one that's going to get him in trouble later <3 puckpatti may be willing to gloss over all of this in the name of her dad being happy, but there are others who may take it as something to be concerned about... :3c

i've started chapter 7, and your ask made me very happy so how about i share the beginning with you:

The night before the trip, Laios invites Chilchuck out to Senshi’s, and he finds himself agreeing far more readily than he did the first time. What’s more, everyone can make it; it’s nice to see Falin again, but he also gets to see Marcille when she’s not tired and overworked.

He’s not actually sure if that’s a good thing, in the end.

She hugs Laios when he and Chilchuck arrive (not as tightly as Falin does, but still with a certain degree of overt fondness), then sits herself down and immediately launches into the friendliest interrogation Chilchuck has ever found himself subject to. He can barely half-answer her before she’s launched into another question; about where he’s from, about what he does, about how Laios has been treating him… She asks about his family, too, but it’s Laios who gently deflects her when Chilchuck stalls out about it.

“He’s kind of a private person,” Laios laughs, raising a glass of soda to his lips. “Let him actually get to know you first, Marcille. Then he’ll tell you himself.”

Chilchuck doesn’t want to tell anyone anything about his life without prompting, but he thinks Laios knows that; the easy escape from the line of questioning is appreciated, either way.

“I hope you stick around long enough for that to happen!” Marcille enthuses. “You seem like a really interesting person, Chilchuck. And clearly you’ve got Laios under control.”

Chilchuck laughs at that, and he’s not the only one; Falin and Namari laugh too (and even Shuro smiles a little). A glance Laios's way reveals he’s flustered, but similarly amused. “He’s not hard to direct,” Chilchuck muses over the rim of his water glass. “He just needs to be told exactly what to do.”

He pretends he doesn’t notice the look Falin gives her brother.

[dr34myluv]

TW vent

before you start reading i dont wanna hear pity if u even decide to read, i just need to blow off steam.

sometimes i feel like a butterfly, so fragile my wings can break, but instead of wings i have a heart and a brain, and i cant stop crying, i mean last year was way worse yk? life felt like it was ending i resorted to sh, im better now right? im clean, i have an amazing bf, i basically get everything i could ever ask for, so whats wrong?

i dont know what's exactly wrong with me, i feel fat, i hate the way i look, but that's how most teenage girls feel huh? its normal. just like its normal for a father to walk out, destroy his child's life with just a few words. bc that's normal and nothing is gonna change a man's mind.

"normal" im your normal girl, everyone is normal, right?

i grew up in a household where i wasn't considered normal, i was treated like i was sick, and wrong, by my father, if u dont agree with him then ur the wrong one not him, ur opinions don't matter to him. he still thinks that way, which is fine yk? being gay? pffft thats horrid, like "boyish" things (which really aren't i wanst even a tomboy growing up but wtv) guess what, THATS WRONG.

its not really like that has affected me much, just my parents arguing, and my mom commenting on my body.

my parents fought so much it was overwhelming, it was never ending, my dad would threaten to kill himself and storm out of the house, id be screaming and crying begging him not to do anything, i guess as a child that really does affect someone, he left so much like that it created worry, he was my hero, he IS my hero, as much as i hate to admit it, i love him more than i should.

due to my father, i think thats the reason im so attached to this boy (my bf) ik that sounds stupid but i have a reason for this.

lets call him N, and N was someone i met in school, he is the total opposite of me, has a tendency of being an asshole to people, so why might i like this guy? well he gave me the right amount of attention at the wrong time.

school was hard 2 years ago, id cry almost everyday, and ig i was an acquaintance with him, one day he noticed me crying, during break, i was alone, he came up to me, and hugged me, it wasn't expected but it was definitely needed, he didn't say anything, he didn't ask anything, he just hugged me, let me cry in his arms, i guess we slowly became friends after that. at the time i liked him a bit, didnt care that much atleast i thought.

i had no way of contact to him, it was just school, and during the summer i still liked him, it was a new year of school, and i didn't see him, i thought hey maybe he's around here somewhere doing who knows what, i asked some friends if they've seen him, they said no. and at one point i asked one of his friends, and he moved, she said, and i felt my heart sink down to my feet, i could feel like eyes water, i couldn't control it. and ik it's stupid, but he promised me he would never leave me without saying goodbye (in a friendly way)

i dont want to explain more. But to whomever decided to read, im sorry for not finishing it.

[floralovebot]

man people who racebend characters of color are REALLY showing their asses in how they think we're all interchangable and see us as a checklist for "Getting A Good Grade In Woke :)" rather than just... acknowledgment of the existing natural diversity of planet earth and the different ways people make life of it.

its insensitive to reimagine disneys tiana as asian, not because asian people dont face racism or cant enjoy cooking or didnt exist in 1920s new orleans- but because tiana is the first and still only black disney princess and was written and designed as such. her race informs and deepens her writing and her struggles, her love for her dad and specifically wanting to validate a jim crow era black man's sacrifices for his family, her connection to him and her community through her cooking when they all struggle to keep food on the table. similarly mulan shouldnt be rebranded as african american, not because black women couldnt exist in china or never crossdressed to join the army or dont face misogyny- but because mulan is a folk hero of historical chinese legend and as mulan, specifically cannot be divorced from that background. (also, frankly? the early white princesses arent really as well written for the most part, and their culture of origin is virtually never taken into account aside from visuals in their development, if that).

thats what ticked me off so bad about the monster high reboot. nb frankie was so cool and an asian draculaura was so fun but then they just... took away the black girl? and by extension, her sisters and thus ALL the black girls and like, dude not cool? nothing wrong with her being latina but being afrolatina is a different experience than being african american. afrolatinas deserve rep but that doesnt mean they shouldve taken clawdeen from african american girls. then there was some back and forth as to where specifically draculaura's family is from, and lagoona's origins vary from source to source dolls vs movie vs tv too and you just really feel the lack of effort and cohesion in the writing rooms. it really is just all just numbers on a chart, quotas to be filled there.

even with shows like winx where its ambiguous at times and kind of a raceblind take at others, theres so little for ANY of us that redesigning without that in mind becomes poaching. why would you take when ive been given so precious little? why would you want to change this one gift from people like me that lets me know i'm seen and loved? sure, other people deserve to have that too but if they want to borrow then take those who have so much they wont even miss it?

asdfghjkl sorry for the essay, i guess i had a breakthrough in how to put why this specific issue gets to me.

YESSS THANK YOU

Like it's so fucking weird to me!!! And GOD I wanted to say something about gen3 Clawdeen but I wasn't sure if I was "right" or if it was my place to say but exactly!! Being afrolatina is wonderful and they deserve representation too but it is still ultimately a different experience from being black american and they shouldn't have taken that away from black girls! I'm glad that mixed kids have her as rep now but they shouldn't have taken her away!! They very easily could've made a new character to fill that role instead!

AND YES to the winx point!! At the end of the day, it doesn't matter that some of the girls races or ethnicities are more ambiguous, they still have Canon races and people shouldn't be taking that away and giving it to someone else. That's not how representation works! Ever! Like if someone redesigned Aisha to be asian, that wouldn't make me happy or give me More representation. All that would be doing is taking away representation from black people! Same thing with Musa, Flora, Nabu, etc.

It also feels So fucking scummy when a white person's excuse is just that they Personally didn't see a character as their canonical race/ethnicity and that's why they changed it?? Like I don't give a shit if You personally don't see Nabu as an Indian man. That doesn't change his blatant coding. Same with characters like Flora who are more ambiguous. It doesn't matter if You Personally don't like her being Latina. She is. Fucking deal???

[goldenpinof]

First of all I agree with you about how every time they've given up a little control its gone a bit sideways. The other example I can think of is the rize liveshows during II which were literally awful, but they had to do because rize sponsored the tour.

With the britcrew thing. So im not the biggest expert on this, this is just sort of knowledge ive gained over the years so if anyone knows more, feel free to correct me, but my understanding is that around about 2014 when the british youtube scene started popping off, the big channels including zoella, alfie deyes, louise, joe sugg, casper lee, and all the others that I cant remember the names of rn, were all offered contracts under this one company (whose name I cant find), an MCN (multichannel network) that basically said you give us some control over your content + a percentage of your revenue and we can guarantee you a lot of veiws for a long time.

At this time YouTube was very much still a new concept so the idea of big companies being interested in channels and treating them more like mainstream media was a big thing. The members of the britcrew, as far as Im aware, were all contracted under the same MCN. In terms of content this meant that they were all constantly collabing, going to the same events etc, and basically building up that image of a big group of best friends even more. And obviously it worked for a time, because thats exactly how they were seen.

Dan and phil did not get contracted under the MCN and they have both said that they never wanted to give over that kind of comtrol to anyone, but as they have also both admitted, that it did mean they were much more isolated from the britcrew scene. Now i do think that this worked out well for them anyway, because I dont think they would have enjoyed, or looked like they are enjoying constantly being content for other people.

By 2017ish (i might have the timeline a little off) everything started going sideways because the MCNs were trying to turn youtube in to too much of a mainstream media copy, making bad business decisions, plus they were screwing over creators left right and center, so people were ending their contracts, veiwers stopped watching etc. In the end the MCNs tanked and went bankrupt, which meant that a lot of the channels that had been relying on them went with it. That coupled with all of the controversy that happened with various people meant that the brit crew sort of ended by 2018, where as dnp, who never joined any sort of management company in the first place, were still going strong, even years later.

Basically dnp have a) never let anyone else hold control over their image and b) never gotten themselves involved in big controversies, which has meant that even though their channels are naturally declining (which considering phils been doing yt for nearly 2 decades is really impressive), they still have tons of options for their careers in future and at no point did they become at risk of losing the phouse.

okay, with Rize that i also forgot about there are quite a few things they let go the control of. also the super amazing project like @foreverjustanemokidatheart mentioned.

when you said about contracts for the britcrew i 1st thought you were talking about Gleam Futures (and our infamous gleam team). but they still exist somehow and it's not an MCN, so i also don't know. very interesting things with %. i find it quite naive since collaborations could be done without a third party involved. i would love to know what kind of work that MCN was providing :) for me, it felt like the britcrew started falling out after Hello World. i couldn't find who was organizing it and how much Gleam Futures got involved. but the majority of creators were Gleam's clients so, it's not a surprise that people started leaving (Tanya is still with them, what a plot twist).

Dan and Phil had their controversies followed by Dan deleting some of his videos in 2018. interesting how it never blew up like a lot of this stuff does. also their friendship with f*lix. i remember people leaving the phandom after that Emma Blackberry's bday. rightfully so. and despite Dan distancing himself from that person, looks like we're going backwards.

with us investing in forever home for years, they just can't lose it.

[maschotch]

I don't want it seem like I'm saying that she doesn't do anything wrong I know she does 100% I know she does.

I just get tired of people acting like she's the only one that's flawed and I'm not saying that you do it I'm just saying there's a lot of people who acts like that that's why a lot of times I feel like I shouldn't say I like JJ because I've been yelled at for liking her and I actually been threatened before for saying that I liked her.

I mean she acts out a lot but she actually does care. There was quite a few times she knew that Penelope was stressing out so she talked with her and was really gentle with her I mean yeah I guess she could be a hard bitch but she does have a little bit of a heart.

I mean without hesitation she killed Jason Clark battle to save her family. That's exactly what she said too she done it save her family

"I didn't even blink you do what it takes to protect family.''

i think the difference—for me at least—is that because of who the characters are, they have reasons for acting out when they do. a distressed penelope is a perfect example of this akdhskdh

someone brought up morgan giving her shit for feeling guilty. a shitty thing ti do, for sure, especially cutting her off when she needed someone to talk to. but morgan does it bc he cares ab her and doesnt understand why she’s so worked up over this. he’s frustrated that she’s dwelling on it, hurting herself, and doesnt want to encourage it by indulging in her spiraling

i’d like to bring up another instance of ~distressed penelope~ after 300 (i think?) when she’s struggling w ptsd. everyone can tell she’s off and try to help, but what pissed me off was jj patronizing her for bottling it up, “you know thats not how it works, right?” even tho she went through the same shit before and had her own issues bottling up her trauma, she treats garcia like she’s an idiot (even tho garcia has wayyy less field experience than the others so obviously this kind of stuff would hit her harder)

they were both wrong and both mean to her in their own ways, but their intentions were drastically different. morgan does it bc he’s worried ab her. jj does it bc she’s annoyed. she just seems so superficial every time she tries to be nice/supportive. its either out of pity (hotch in 100) or it feels fake bc she’s rolling her eyes at every opportunity. i just… dont like those kind of people lol

sure everyone else has flaws, but it feels like their reasons are more legitimate. and if she’s mean most of the time AND she acts out…. yeah thats just not someone i wanna be around lmao at least the others are nice. making fun of garcia’s “quirks” or talking shit ab reid w anyone who will listen… if thats how she treats her friends, then i dont understand why anyone would want to be around her. she’s not the only one who’s flawed, but she’s the only one without any redeeming qualities. treating everyone like shit then saying a loving statement every blue moon just doesnt seem genuine and i wouldnt have the patience for that.

akdhskhd we have had DRASTICALLY different experiences in the cm fandom. this is the first ive heard of someone who likes jj getting hate bc i feel like the majority of people like her. ive seen very very few posts of people criticizing her but i see people who love her all the time (or worse—ship her w one of my favs skdhkshd). its hard to find someone who agrees w my opinion… even ppl who r jj critical still praise her #whitefeminism #girlboss moments when really i cant stand a single second she’s on screen

[beepathan]

Since we’re doing charisma house questions for the charisma house tumblr person, can you rank the characters from most problematic to least problematic and state why.

Also I hope you know that I am in no way threading it you to place Terra as least problematic and in no way will throw a fit if you say he is anything but an unproblematic queen 🔪

for the purposes of this ask i am going to be ignoring rikais music video, for hopefully obvious reasons to anyone who has seen it (as it would instantly place him in first)

so lets start off by figuring out what exactly we mean by problematic. is it which character would get cancelled on twitter the fastest? is it which characters charisma is most harmful to themself and those around them? is it just vibes? we need a definition to base our understanding of "problematic" around before we even start looking at the characters.

one dictionary definition of problematic is “unresolved or dubious”, so for the purposes of this analysis i am going to rank them based on their perceived controversial value; i.e., which character would spark the most controversy in an online fandom space. a vriska, if you will.

the least problematic charisma house is sarukawa. first of all, hes a short king, and second of all,his whole thing is really easy to figure out and work around. there isnt any sort of controversy i can imagine going on with him, other than maybe the fact that he might be in a gang and is furry-coded.

for our second least problematic member of the charisma house, i think im going to have to go with terra. what controversy would there even be? sure he inconveniences others for the sake of his own self love, but honestly all its really resulted in so far is being late to coffee, broken mirrors, and... a man jumping out of a window, property damage, displacing another member from his own living space... well, i never said he wouldnt still have some issues. but overall, terra just lives for himself, and i dont think thats going to get him called out. maybe an argument can be made for the moral implications of being straight up in love with your self, but im not getting into that

it shouldnt come as a surprise that i also dont think rikai is problematic... mostly. like i said before, were ignoring his music video for this post, so thats not where his controversy comes in. hes an advocate for order, justice, and safety, so obviously, overall this is pretty good, right? but he also enforces his ideals onto others without regard for their own beliefs, for example, the rikais morning track where he gets everyone up at 5am because he, personally, goes to sleep at 9pm and thats a healthy time to wake up for him. however, not everyone follows that same sleep schedule, so obviously it wouldnt be healthy for them to wake up at that particular time... and that can be applied to basically everything he does. i could definitely see some discourse about the validity of trying to force your lifestyle onto others, especially when you take into account the fact that rikai apologists would absolutely defend him by saying hes autistic (coded) so he cant help his obsession with order. hes a 25 year old neurodivergent minor, how could you say hes in the wrong?!

next up was close between amahiko and iori, and iori wins this one through plausible deniability and having no self esteem. like, hes obviously a masochist, and forcing everyone around you to sign a contract agreeing to use you for everything is clearly manipulative. but! dont forget, some people devote their lives to serving others to cope with the fact that they view themselves as less than human, and an empty shell devoid of anything that needs to be filled with the commands of others! so i could see controversy there, and honestly im so glad charisma house isnt huge here, because i did not enjoy imagining it.

like i just said, amahiko comes out ahead of iori because... i mean. come on... the controversy here is fairly obvious, and this is the website where people weep about kink at pride. absolutely no way amahiko is going to come out of here without a multitude of callout posts and dissertations about how anyone who likes him is problematic. his whole thing is sex! he calls everyone sexy! he stripped at the christmas party! he says thanks when people call him a perv! hes clearly a creep who needs to be contained, thank god terra trapped him in his room that one time... you see what i mean? like, there is absolutely nuance here, and i can get into that some other time, but i dont think the online world would take kindly to the minister of sexy affairs.

now whos in second place? who do we have left? its fumiya. i mean like, his whole thing is... i dont even know. i mean like, just look at him. he lies for fun, he steals, he made everyone ride off a cliff... but most importantly, hes a minor. i dont think i have to elaborate here

this may come as a shock, but ohse is the most problematic charisma house. how?! ray, how on earth is ohse problematic?! hes just a suicidal shut in! yeah, but you have to remember, im looking at their potential controversial value here, and ohse is absolutely ripe for discourse. hes guilt tripping everyone! is he even taking care of his lizard!? we dont need a character whos shtick is that they keep trying to kill themself in 2022! even if he doesnt mean to, his self deprecation is harmful to others! he has blue hair and pronouns!

well im tired now so the end

[giftedeath]

just rewatched lifeserial and it had me thinking so hard abt how much buffy has to go through that season gahh like its one of those episodes that is very fun while also being very sad. i mean its fun to me bc we get spuffy antics that episode and i love their lil antics so much <3 kitten poker <3 her going to spike bc he loves the brawl and she loves the brawl but being disappointed in how brawl-less it ends up being. but anyway thats just my spike and buffy brain talking what is really tragic and upsetting in this episode is everything that happens w giles. him coming through for her with the money and she's like 'knowing ur always going to be here makes me feel safe' they joke in the episode how giles doesn't wanna be her mom or her dad cant he just be her rakish uncle! but at this point her actual father is tht shiftless absentee dad, and i think about this all the time bc its probably just the writers decision not to include him for screentime purposes or w/e less abt plot but in doing that they're saying 'buffy's dad is so far gone that he did not go to his ex-wife's funeral, probably didn't even go to his own daughter's funeral and he sure isn't there for the fifteen year old that is now without any family! oh and now that my eldest is magically alive i still do not give one fuck.' which is crazy, but its established very early on that giles is something of a father figure to her, and probably the reason the writers didnt have her Real Dad around. like at first yeah maybe he was just her uptight, preachy, watcher but by season six he's so much more than that and so yeah in that moment in this ep when she admits to him that its like her mom is back, that she's not alone, that a weight had been lifted bc for one moment she didn't have all these responsibilities and obligations that normal twenty - one year olds don't typically have so early on. that is the culmination of seasons of giles always being there, and supporting her, and loving her like she's his child. and it makes me think all the way back to surprise/innocence when joyce finds out buffy loses her virginity to angel and so does giles, and giles feels a sense of responsibility in a season early as 2, to have that knowledge of what buffy's going through, when the only other adult in her life who knows is joyce. its giles and joyce and when its not joyce its giles! and then what happens when its not giles? and its only buffy? i dont know its just such a tragic spin to the narrative to have giles leave, and for their relationship to deteriorate the way it does, and not even really ever recover. bc i would say it gets significantly worse in season 7 actually. maybe if we had more seasons we could have seen them properly reconcile but giles leaving accomplishes exactly what he sets out to do. he leaves bc he believes that she relies on him and that him being her father figure has gone too far/he wants her to stand on her own, which she does i think. but that doesn't mean buffy's going to not be bitter about it? i actually would argue and say it feels like probably the biggest betrayal she has ever experienced at this point. which is why in my head, them being so tense in s7 makes sense. i do think w time buffy would forgive him but its one of those things where i just think the bitterness would stick for at least a few years! given the context.

[amarhbaneen]

FOR HER

hey sorry for everyhting ,i know i keep saying this but i just need time to process exactly what i want to say and obviously im trying not to get too emotinal

im really glad to hear that your anxiety is better and i understand what you mean

i was quite anxious too and filled with guilt , unsureof whether i should stay because the last thing i wanted was to hurt you .

like you said , its for the better

i think before i had this idea that you were this invincible beautifull force that almost dictated my happiness, like you werent real person with your own insecurities .

i was only thinking about myself, i dont know

i saw you differently like we were equal. like we were on team

you were this beautiful fragile girl who was also infintely strong and brave and always knew just what to say.

you were mine and i was yours and thats it …

Except that was bullshit and we both knew it

we were both feeling that same ambivalence and lack of passion

we were wasting each other time

and i happend to act , after years of waiting and dreading and wishing it wasnt so .. but it was

i went to you many time without speaking or telling you , i stood infront of you acting like it nothing , we talk alot about your study and your jewish friends , i tried not to look or speak with you because i felt so bad

and when the words came to my ears or eyes it wasnt surprising ,, just painfull relief.

i think about that day alot , how alone i felt , you made it so easy to forget the loneliness

my heart feels just a little bit empty , knowing it will never be fullfied with you , and i still have this emotions to run to you or text you about anything happen to me or in my life but then i remind myself that everything is over and i cant do it , maybe for the better

Yeah i have been seeing other people , i have honestly seen to many , maybe i was trying to escape this or to fill your place with other people

but all this just leave me drained

and just being single makes me feel so stupid and pathetic so i cant looking for people who wasnt have anything in commen with or share interests , for me i was acting that will make me less alone

it was really beautifull when we were together and our daily talk didnt leave me feeling so pathetic

i guess that the thing about us , we were building something like team

well we wanted to love each other and was already the definition of love

i certainly believed that love require hard work and you believed that love was something else .. from what i remember

i think we both shifted our positions a bit . love is pretty enigmatic and you cant force it

but i felt it at one point , months together i felt the warmth and the fuzzy feelings

i found that your love had departed as quickly as it had arrived and what terrible feeling that was because i wanted you to love me

you were perfect , compassionate , you were weird in a unique beatiful way.

you were my companion to my adventure and memories ; moments that i will forver revisit in my mind

i dont know why you counldnt love me and i dont think i will ever stop wanting you to love me

or i will never stop wondering if it wasnt possible somehow , especially in those nights where the silence becomes all too much , thats when i will think of you and regret it all

but it for the better , right ? it is ,i want it to be for the better

Anyways i found one of our old conversation and im wondering if you had like to remember or remake it

Anyway i hope you doing well with medicine school and i really wish you the best in life .

you deserve to be happy ( espcially with your new love story )

i will always love you.

[writingtomynanny]

First entry

Tonight is exactly one week since i said goodbye to you. The last time i held your hand, the last time i kissed you, the last time i told you i love you. Nanny this has broken my heart into pieces i dont think can be mended. You showed me the kind of woman i aspire to be, you gave me so much comfort in being in your presence, you gave me hope that theres nice people in the world. The last time i seen you, as i was speaking to you a tear was forming in your eye, i know that was you hearing everything i said. You were listening to me like you always did. I made you a promise that i will always know im beautiful, you were never shy with your compliments, you told me all the time that im always beautiful and for that, i will forever believe it even if i dont feel it. Even then i catch myself telling myself that i am. If i can be beautiful like you, then ill always believe it darling. I also told you that you quickly became one of my favourite people, if not my favourite. And its so true, i wish i made it more clear to you how special you were to me, but i think you already knew that. One of my favourite things to do was sit with you when cody would go out. I loved hearing your life stories, hearing about your growing up, about kim. You always apologised but you had no reason too, i loved it and i loved you being able to open up to me.

You showed me what true love is, what strength is, how important being nice is, how to be a true woman and ill take everything on board that you taught me.

I still have the liverpool nails i got for you on, i never want them to come off. You were so happy when i got them done, i will forever remember your gorgeous smile and little "woo!" You are so adorable nanny. Your passion for all things sports is so inspiring, i used to always call you a sports encyclopedia. You just knew everything soccer, NBA, cricket, AFL and bits and pieces of tennis that you seen or heard on the radio and news as the tv never got tv channels. But you would come up to the bedroom and watch bits and pieces of the AO. You loved ash barty.

I loved how you never thought i was weird with the cats, you were more happy that i looked after them and knew there would never be anything to worry about when i had them. Another favourite past time i have is us watching the cats play fight in the loungeroom, i would go to the bedroom when they had a break then you would call out to me when they started again. Your laugh was so bright, i want nothing more than to watch the cats fight with you, coffee in hand, cooking or renovation shows on, beautiful fluffy socks and dressing gown keeping you warm.

Thursday is your funeral, it breaks my heart that i even have to say that. You should be here with us, we are so lost without you and i cant believe this is actually real life. Im going to look so beautiful for you, im going to be a wreck but ill try my hardest for you nanny. A song called "die first" came out just before we lost you and i relate to the lyrics. I dont think i can do this without you, i dont want too. This hurts so much, im not as strong as you. If this is how i feel losing you, i dont know how you handled what you went through, i feel selfish being this broken, but i mean it is you that i lost, thats just proof enough that it hurts as much as it does.

Im going to get a tattoo for you nan, you always used to call me honey (or sweetie) but i have an emoji of a honey pot you sent me to call me honey. So im going to get a honey pot to represent me, and a bee to represent you. You will think its beautiful i just know it. Ill come show you once i get it beautiful, Im going to spend so much time sitting with you and talking to you. It wont ever be the same as talking to you in the lounge but ill take all i can get to be as close to you as possible. I have thought about being with you again, im trying my hardest to hold on because i know you wouldnt want that. I just miss you so much and i want to be with you, every day when i wake up i remember all over again that were here without you and its so hard. Its going to take a long time to recover from this, if i ever do. But i will always try for you nanny.

Im going to come here to talk to you when i have things i want to say, it will be my little escape. I love you so much Nan, you are the most beautiful woman i know and i will always have you in my life.

YNWA <3