#to people like me who've been kicked out of the world because everyone else is just fine with coughing on each other again.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[hero-israel]

Let me tell you being a former Christian this shit goes so much deeper than a lot of born Jews realize. The Christian worldview (specifically Calvinist/Puritan) seeping into and pervading all of modern leftism is honestly frightening. But also it's very funny.

They believe that there are Good people and Bad people, and that any mistake or lapse in judgment or instance of not being educated is a Mask Off moment, showing who is a member of the Elect and who is not. If you fuck up, that's not just a fuck up, it's Revealing. You are damned, were always damned, you were just good at hiding it, and now we know the truth and are doubly angry because not only are you evil, you lied about it. The only recourse is to shun you, and if that leads to your death, so be it. Anyone who's seen any micro celebrity get canceled saw this in action.

And the only way you can prove you're a member of the Elect is to operate as if you have nothing to hide. You have to loudly and proudly proclaim your righteousness. If you don't have anything to hide why would you be worried? Privacy is suspicious. You Must Speak on everything they deem important or else you obviously agree with the Bad People. There is no room for discussion or healthy debate. There are no loopholes or subclauses or other points of view to consider. You're with us or against us. If you don't constantly go around saying you're with us, you're probably secretly against us. The only way to convince your neighbors, whom you inherently distrust, that you're one of the Good Ones, is to perform righteousness, parrot righteous words. The only way to redeem yourself is by grandiose acts of self flagellation, perhaps being the right demographic, or by accusing others of Heresy.

The goal is not to bring good into the world, it's to recruit more people into the same thought patterns (that's kind of all Christian denominations though). Because if you can convince your community that you're one of the Elect, that means G-d preselected you for Heaven, and you're golden. No repercussions or consequences baby. The only material benefit for you is that you "get" to proclaim you're going to Heaven and everyone has to agree with you. If anyone doesn't they're probably going to Hell anyway. You're on the right side (of history), so why should you ever self reflect or grow? Why should you question anything? Why should nuance or empathy exist? This is about Right and Wrong. We know where we stand, where do you stand?

Every single aspect of American culture and politics, right and "left" alike, was planted by the pilgrims, and it is so fundamentally antithetical to true Leftist thought. Remember all the actually successful Western Leftist movements were started in Europe (and Israel cough cough)... because they kicked all their fucking psychotic Calvinists out. Those people went to America and that's a big big big reason why we don't have any near as much of a robust Leftist movement as even socially conservative European countries (and Israel cough cough). And what's funny is I still find myself slipping into these thought patterns, which is so not compatible with Jewish philosophy or theology. It's been years and I'm still not done.

It's a hell of a drug to kick, so I definitely don't trust white goysiche college kids who've been antitheists for about 6 months since they left their Republican parents' homes to have any great success in unlearning and unprogramming from this. Which is kind of obvious in that I see them acting just like their conservative Christian parents every day on every social media platform, swap out a gun toting white Jesus with some noble savage idea of Palestine, absolving the West of its sins against the Global South.

It is a cult structured around spiritual isolation, antisocial behavior, and it is inherently against any kind of political movement that centers and celebrates the Community. It is designed to tear communities apart and foster obedience to whatever authority can force itself on them. And this has been going on for almost 500 years, there is nothing we can do about it.

Thank you for the insightful look. Their "purity culture" approach definitely had to come from somewhere.

[druidx]

The Tragedy of Elo & Merri's Unrequited Love

Hello dear readers. People who've been perusing my blog for some time now should be familiar with my OC, Elowyn O'Toreguarde, and that of my freind @aquadestinyswriting, Meredith Gruksdottir, Clan Bloodvein (née Ironforge). These two characters were ones we roleplayed in a D&D campaign set in the Fighting Fantasy World of Titan. And as much as we've talked about them and shared their stories, neither of us have explicitly spelled out the Tragedy of their Unrequited Love.

So without further ado I would like share a condensed version of the Destiny's New Servants Campaign, focusing on their not-love story. (Note, this is from my POV and is not impartial)

Elo & Merri hit it off as friends right from the start. They meet because of a ghoul situation, take one look at each other and decide – yes, I need you on my side. These are two women who were often overlooked, not least because of their heights, both strong proponents of justice with a go-getter attitude and a penchant for running head-first into trouble.

So, of course, off they go adventuring. They pulled each other through many trials, though most often it's Elo supporting Merri – Merri was the holy one at that time, she was the one with the special powers that no one else had, she was devout and tough and steadfast. They drew close after an incident where three of their party drowned, and closer still when the last reminding character of the originals, a Monk, drops off the face of the planet¹. They get new party members, but it takes a while for them to warm up and mesh in etc, especially as the new characters are younger and more inexperienced compared to our girls. So for a long while they feel like they can only rely on each other. Then Elowyn died, was made a vassal of Kurtulmak, a whole lot of shit went down, and they're kicked off to the other side of the world for Plot reasons.

Two very important things happened not long after this.

The first was that an insane half demon robot from a different plane mistook Elo for her Aunt and tried to attack her…. And Merri was the first to step in front of the woodling to defend her. As an aside, dear reader, I need you to understand that, out of game, I was going through A Time, and my feelings of abandonment, isolation and depression were feeding through into my gameplay. So Elo was also having Some Problems. She'd been ripped out of her life, away from the city and everyone who knew her and everything she'd known. She was feeling lost, abandoned, and suddenly burdened with the knowledge she'd become de facto leader of their group. She was holding together spectacularly². Anyway. She's facing off with this demented thing and fully expecting the party to kinda fuck off and make her deal with it on her own. And she's gearing up to do just that, when this woman, filled with righteous wrath, steps in front of her and says, "You'll have t'go through me if you want her." And, fuck me, if that didn't hit me right in the godsdamned chest.

Bear in mind that this was such a slow burn that us Players, let alone our characters, did not figure out anything until way later in the campaign. That said, I think that might have been the start of Elo falling in love.

Anyway. Elo's made a Paladin, a gold dragon drops out of the sky to be her mount³, they're sent back to the other side of the world for more Plot reasons, dear pain-in-the-ass Felix starts the rumours Elo's some kind of messiah or prophet⁴.

And the second important thing happens.

So they're at this village in the mountains, Felix has convinced half the population Elo's some kind of Saviour, and these random bandits rock up. One of them was a horny bard, who took one look at the pair of us womenfolk and announced that he's gonna take one of us home. And Merri goes, "Well it ain't gonna be me sunshine, I'm taken." We're in the middle of combat when this happens, probably got some better things to be focusing on, but Elo looks at Merri with a face like a slapped puppy and says, "What? You never told me that?" Like, this woman is her best friend, maybe her only true friend at that point⁵, they were close as anything, and not once has Merri mentioned she was engaged. So Elo's hurt because Merri didn't share this. But she's got a deeper hurt and she doesn't know why⁶.

Fast forward, we were conscripted to resurrect a god, Deep Sashelas. Merri is grievously injured by the required ritual. The others in the party are concerned, of course they are, but Elo is next level. Full on fretting by the bedside etc. And as they move on, Elo finds herself shielding Merri more and more. Which is, in game mechanics, frankly unnecessary, because Clerics are as tanky as Pallies are. But if I'm honest, Elo might have done this even as a pure rogue because, of course she would. Elo thinks she's just being a Friend. Merri thinks Elo is being a Friend. The rest of the party are picking up on Something, but no one knows what so no one says anything. Only the on-and-off Monk⁷ thinks he understand what's going on, but he's not around enough to do anything about it.

So now we come to a switch point. Out of game, Urbanvoodoman was tired of GMing and wanted to play so Aqua was going to take over from him. But we had a BBEG to fight first.

Before the fight Elo was contacted by the BBEG, saying she could either hand over Merri or he was going to destroy Toreguard. So Elo now has this horrible predicament. Does she sacrifice the person she's slowly realising might be the love of her life and save her home, or does she allow millions to be slaughtered for the love of one woman?

Elo told the BBEG she'd sacrifice Merri. Only then she didn't. The BBEG fight was a mess, and frankly not important to this story.

What is important, is that to transition Aqua over to GM, Merri had to be retired as a Player Character. So the morning after the BBEG fight Elo and co wake up… and Merri is not there. In her place are letters, apologising for having to leave for her home, Fangthane, and explaining why. Elo's letter contained apology after apology, and Merri's holy symbol to remember her by. It broke Elo's heart. Because now, of all possible times, Elo realises she's in love. Merri is many hours down the road by this point, Elo has no hope of finding her. And even if she did, Elo can't confess her feelings because Merri is already happily engaged to someone else. And Elo is never going to see Merri again because of the ban in Fangthane preventing non-dwarves from entering the city. Then, the world came knocking at the door, and Elo had to suck it all up and get on with her job.

You'd be forgiven, dear reader, for thinking that was the end of the tale. But it's not.

Rumour has made its way to Toreguarde that a young dwarven woman has been imprisoned in Fangthane for the crime of blasphemy. It doesn't take a genius to guess that young woman is Merri. She's due to be executed, unless someone can provide compelling evidence to the contrary. The main issue is that Fangthane still holds a grudge against Toreguard and her citizens. As a representative of Toreguard, Elo (who is still very much In Love with her unattainable dwarf, but Repressing with great success) refuses to break the line, once again putting her duty before her love. This leads one of the other Party members to accuse Elo of not caring about Merri, and, my gods, did I pitch a fit. Elo would have decked him if she thought she wouldn't accidentally kill him.

So the Party receives special dispensation from the Crown to enter Fangthane with evidence showing Merri is, of course, innocent. Elo is Not Allowed to see Merri while she's incarcerated for obscure legal reasons which escape me now, which just kills Elo. But she does her job, Merri is exonerated, everyone is joyful. And then Merri wants everyone to meet her fiance. Elo wants to hate him, wants him to be a bastard of epic proportions. But he's not. He's lovely, a cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure etc. Yoruk is also a paladin, a decent, principled, loyal and devoted up-standing young gentleman of fine birth. Elo is, in a word, gutted. But she puts her big-girl pants on, pulls Yoruk outside and threatens to end his life if he ever hurts Merri and swears this on her power. He goes back to the party, suitably fearing for his life and his manhood, and Elo thinks she's just going to walk away and go have a cry in her beer, but Merri stops her. They share some words, embrace, and Elo parts from her saying, "With all the love in my heart, I wish you and Yoruk the best luck in the world."

I suppose the girls get a bit of a happy ending, inasmuch that after the Final BBEG is defeated and a little time passes, they grow close again in other ways. For that, please see Aqua's explanation of a Cridhe-dàime.

––– ¹ His player stopped being able to make sessions. ² I was not. ³ Because though the GM, UrbanVoodooman, can be a spectacular bastard for angst, he does love the fluffy stuff too. ⁴ Bless Felix's player, but he'd gotten a completely incorrect read on the situation, vis a vis Kurtulmak, St Cuthbert and Paladinship, which mean he – and therefore his Character – was convinced I was some kind of, IDK, minor deity? This never went away despite how many times we explained it. IDK if it makes it more or less funny to reveal Felix's Player is a very devout Anglican. ⁵ I don't think we'd managed to make it back to Toreguard by this point, and if we had, things were still on rocky ground, so Elo really didn't have many people on her side. ⁶ She was an idiot in love. Relatedly, IIRC, Aqua had only decided Merri was engaged prior to the session where this happened, so it was a bit difficult to retcon that fact in. ⁷ The Player who had previously dipped (See point 1) could now make intermittent sessions.

[astorythatwritesitself]

Shepard AMA Round 5!

I had the day off and couldn't play anything so writing it is! I'm also likely going to go through the past ones again in the near...ish.... future, since development has been kicking for a good year or so and I've gotten some things ironed out. In the meantime, though!

(As always, almost anything discussing Adrian as a character carries major CWs for discussions of suicidal thoughts/self destructive/harmful tendencies)

And as always, question list from the fantastic @spookyvalentine ! Have fun lol

1. What is Shepard’s favorite store on the citadel?

    Less a single store, and more of a shopping area - there's a little plaza in Bachjret Ward that functions as an open market, with vendors constantly changing out. It's a great place to get specialty items - particularly ingredients and flowers, there's a long tradition of hobbyist gardeners who've specialized in growing niche plants on space stations, but you'll find a lot of... for lack of better phrasing, garage-sale type setups too. Adrian's father usually took her there to pick out a treat or otherwise just enjoy the crowds, when the Shepards wound up at the Citadel when she was a kid; and even during the events of the series she would stop by there to find something special for the crew.

2. What is the public’s opinion/awareness of Shepard?

   Varied - actually kind of a low opinion through most of ME1 - there was a lot of speculation that the hunt against Saren was a coverup for something else, and the human getting promoted to Spectre just seemed. Weird and not everyone trusted it lol. Adrian actually damn near tanked her reputation after Virmire; if Sovreign hadn't shown up when it did, she'd probably be cemented as 'that weirdo who tried to proposition Counciler Tevos in front of everyone'. ME2 era sees a solid split in human opinions, due to her 'humanity isn't more important to me than any other species' stance; but she's become quite popular among quarian and krogan crowds; generally she's regarded as a solid hero; which carries strongly into & beyond 3.

3. Armax arsenal arena: do they participate? How do they like it?

  She'd probably give it a few goes, and actually pick it up a lot more post-war, once she's out of the Alliance. Those instincts aren't going anywhere, after all, and it actually becomes kind of a way to face down some of the like. Trauma lol.

4. Shepard wakes up in an alternate universe. What tips them off?

Define the alternate universe xD ... actually, since I am writing that 'Shep & Thane get to live' AU - waking up at all, and that everyone else is seeing Thane would do it. (Or, sticking her in my other favorite video game... that she is on a world where there's giant terrifying beasts but they just want to be friends is. Weird. But she can gel with becoming a pokemon trainer.)

5. What kind of relationship does Shepard have with Javik?

 

Weird - but it becomes fairly friendly, and she's actually kind of grateful to have him around, because she's been spending the last couple years with a degree of thought patterns and instincts that are alien beyond anyone's comprehension, and it's so... just. Isolating. He's a little abbrasive for her taste otherwise, but she's dealt with worse and would still choose to hang out with Javik over a few others lol.

6. The first thing a person notices about Shepard’s appearance:

  In ME1 - the scars. She works to downplay them, but she could never bring herself to seek reconstructive surgery/otherwise actually like... cover them. Post-Lazarus though... it's her eyes, probably. Very expressive, and they're that sort of deep, still brown that's a little striking at first. (Or a lot striking, if you're asking a certain drell-)

7. How approachable are they?

Adrian radiates some weird invisible 'Please Tell Me I'm Useful' aura that drags people in, no matter how much she tries to put up a prickly stance, and unfortunately it takes until like 2189 until she feels comfortable saying 'no'. (And to her friends... she's not really 'approachable', because most of the time /she's/ coming to /them/ first xD)

8. What is the difference between me1 and me3 Shepard? Do they notice, or does someone have to point it out?

   ME1 Adian is nervous but collected, and very good at keeping her internal issues on the inside, where they belong, because of course she can't be a burden; she's a good soldier who will follow orders and do whatever she can for others; and it's not until her death that her crewmates realize... huh, she's happy to listen to our problems, however deep they run, but her answers, when they asked about her? Kind of... shallow.

ME3 Adrian is. Uh. CW for suicidal tendencies in the canon section.

Good end: Openly frightened but there's a lightness to her that's never been there before, and she no longer speaks about the future like she's not going to be there; she's prioritizing her goals and what she feels needs to be done, regardless of damage to her, the Alliance, or the Council's reputations.

Canon: A determined, selfless hero who will see things through to the end, and if she somehow survives... it won't be for long because she is goddamn /done/ with existing.

9. Did/does Shepard have any alien biases?

She's got a soft spot for the krogan, quarians and geth; and has a lot of thoughts about the way first contact with the drell was handled, and this was /before/ meeting Thane.

10. How do they handle a teammate being badly injured during a mission?

     Extremely well, all things considered - her intial training and official designation /did/ partially center around being a field medic, after all, so she kind of slips into that detached headspace of assessment and appropriate follow-up that keeps any anxiety at bay for a while; and usually by the time it hits, they afflicted teammate is at least stable enough that she can work through it well. (Garrus' being hit on Omega was probably the closest she got to totally cracking on the job, as it were.)

11. Who is in their inner circle?

    Ashley, Wrex, EDI, Joker, Miranda and, of course, Thane, wind up the closest to her in the end. (She was also quite close to Kaiden and Mordin, before their deaths; and she's not necessarily on bad terms with any of the other crewmates - but with the likes of like, Tali, Jack, Grunt and Garrus? They're all more like... she had to be strong for them, there's more of a mentor-ish vibe there where she maintained a certain... veneer of having it together, and the others fall into good friend, great to hang out with, but not quite the same level of 'I am willing to let you see me hurt and crying' closeness).

12. What does Udina think of them?

  He'd Rather Not, Thank You. (I.e: He had very high hopes but oh dear god, Shepard is. Such a mockery of his hopes for the first human Spectre, and his only solace is that she manages to piss off the Council about as much as she crosses him.)

13. What does Shepard think of Saren?

     She's... honestly not sure. Annoyed with him at first, but after realizing he was indoctrinated for quite some time, and doing some research... in the end? She just feels sorry for him, and wishes there was something else that could have been done.

14. Is Shepard’s first death publicized? (Since in game seems both people know about it and the alliance covered it up)

  To a degree - there were theories that she was in some deep-cover operation, but the Alliance did officially declare her MIA/PKIA about a year after the Collector attack, and there was a memorial service.

15. Did they have any relationships pre-me1? Still around?

  Not really - Adrian's always been a little weird on the relationship front; there's a lot of sorting out of 'am I actually on the aromantic range or am I just terrified of being in love as a soldier because I've spent my entire life seeing how much hurt that tends to result in' (the answer is six of one, half a dozen of the other) that never gets done, so she mostly wound up with a few things that never got past a third date during her time in college; and it declined even further after Akuze. (And considering her partners were all Alliance, up til Thane... most of them aren't around any more, but there is another XO out there who is absolutely flabbergasted to see that tech nerd she slept with that one time suddenly all over the news...)

16. What additions did Cerberus give Shepard?

      I play it as pretty mild, all things considered. Most of her organs are, to some extent, synthetic/artificially enhanced, a lot of reinforcements to her muscle and bones that have left her pretty durable. The biggest differences are that she got her left ear back, and to steal from some other HCs - the cybernetics mean her eyes kind of glow in the dark now - results in enhanced night vision, and delightful terror to unsuspecting crewmates!

 

17. Have they done any interviews? How did the first one go? And the most recent?

       The first interview she ever did was actually when she was a kid, and attending a biotics camp that had just accepted its first wave of human students, which consisted of Adrian and exactly one other kid - most human biotics were headed to BAaT, but Adrian's parents leaned towards 'you know we'll go with the people who've had like. Centuries. To figure this out' mindset. It went pretty well, and definitely set a tone for her future lol, since she was spending a lot of time around aliens and had a pretty positive opinion of the whole thing.

      Her most recent interview would probably be just after the Reaper War, and consists of 'I Am Retired Please Leave Me The Fuck Alone.'

18. What do they think of the alliance?

   It's been her entire life. Every home, most of her friends, her schooling, her career... all of it was steeped in the Alliance. It wasn't perfect - and there was a lot she wanted to change, but if she was a good enough soldier? Maybe she could make some changes, one day? By the time she realized no, no one soldier (however good) could make a real change to the entire system... well, Sunk Cost Fallacy is a bitch, she genuinely wasn't sure how she could function outside of Alliance structure. Post-Akuze left her extremely disillusioned - that no, they really did value image over integrity. She should have faced some punishment for her actions... and instead, she gets lauded as a hero and a survivor, an example of what humanity can endure, and she would basically lose her entire life if she ever spoke up otherwise... and like a good Alliance soldier, she was too scared of that unknown, so she played along and kept up the good looks.

19. What are they like, when in a bad mood? How obvious is it?

     She gets a little more terse and withdrawn, and her usual way of dealing with it is... pretty much dissociation, honestly. She can't snap because it'll be Bad For Image, or because the situation doesn't actually /warrant/ anger, or getting angry won't do anything to help... so. Yeah. Adrian gets angry and swallows it down and just kind of goes blank until her nerves are calmer. Completely healthy coping mechanisms.

20. Does Shepard’s armor hold any significance to them? What about a weapon?

  Eh... armor, not really; she often swapped it out. Weapons were also generally regarded as tools, kept well-maintained but without much attachment... until she got the Widow xD She fucking /loved/ that thing - it's big, it's sturdy, it can punch through damn near anything, it's beautiful.

21. What was Shepard like before the alliance?

  There was no pre-Alliance Shepard, really... but before active service, she was sligtly less anxiety-riddled and a little more hopeful? Not by /much/ though, tbh, she's just always been kind of tinged with sadness and fear.

22. What was the post-lazarus reunion between shepard and joker like?

     Damp.

There were a lot of tears - mostly on Adrian's part, because she had died only half-sure she actually got Joker out, so seeing he was alive... that was. A lot to process. Joker, meanwhile - like he knew this was coming, but hearing 'hey yeah we've got Shepard's frozen scorched corpse and we're gonna bring her back' and seeing her there were worlds apart.

23. Ever had a broken heart?

  Losing Kaiden counts in some respect - even if she wasn't sure if she did want to pursue something, there was /something/ blossoming there... and then, there wasn't. (She also very much suffers one in canon!ME3, losing Thane definitely breaks her in a way that never mends. And in my tweaked canon/They Live version... she gets a very intense familial heartbreak (: )

24. Are they funny?

   Moderately, and it works best when she's not trying to be funny.

25. Have they made pursuits into further education? Any degrees?

    Went to military college and got a degree in computer science (main focus was decryption and disruption), also took a few medical courses to supplement her combat medic goals. Post-wartime, she pursues education in literature and marine biology.

26. Does Shepard have a Twitter account

   Adrian has a few social media accounts, and nearly all of them are just there to grab it before someone can try to fake them, there's very little activity beyond Official Needs. (She is (anonymously) active on... for lack of better phrasing, space Tumblr, though. No text posts though, she is strictly there to post & share photography).

27. The last time they were rude to someone:

  Honestly, Adrian stays pretty polite? The only people she's really told to fuck off, in as many words, were The Illusive Man and Udina lol.

28. Does Shepard have any family?

   A fair bit! Both her mother and father are alive up through & beyond the events of ME3 - Hannah remains in the Alliance throughout, while her father leaves the Alliance in the years between Adrian's first death and resurrection, instead operating at low income clinics on the Citadel (and a volunteer medic during the Battle of London). Hannah's side also sees an aunt, two uncles, and grandparents; while Adrian Sr. was a foster kid who bounced between homes most of his life, and wasn't formally adopted - but he keeps in contact with the women who cared for him in those last couple years before he signed on with the Alliance, and Adrian did meet them a couple times. That said, most of Adrian's life was spent beyond the Charon relay, and she never actually visited Earth in person until she was a teenager; her relationship with her extended family was pretty distant and limited.

29. Does the alliance use their image for propaganda/recruitment? Did they agree to/want it?

   For a while, after her death - Adrian expressly denied permission while she was alive, but Hannah okayed digital reconstructions after Adrian's death - and oh god yeah the Alliance regretted the /shit/ out of it. 1: They were creepy as hell. 2: The public backlash was /intense/ - not just from civilians either; Ashley and Joker both sent in some very strong letters.

30. A moment that almost made Shepard quit:

   As bad as a lot of them were? None of them actually made her want to quit, really. After all, what else would she have, without the Alliance?

31. Ask Dr. Chakwas: what kind of patient is Shepard?

   A... consistent patient. Frequently in, because she's always doing something she shouldn't, but she's very tractable. Sits still, doesn't flinch or jump, gets a gold star and lollipop every time sort.

32. Is Shepard the type to give speeches?

   A little - she doesn't exactly /mean/ to, but also she has consumed far too much poetry so it leaks into her pep talks xD

33. What does the council think of their first human spectre?

   They'd Rather Not, Thank You. (Okay, actually, they're pretty impressed by the end of things, and they did at least appreciate that she took the charge of protecting the galaxy to heart - even among prior spectres, there was often a bias towards their own species, but Adrian really did exemplify that notion of protecting /everyone/ equally.)

34. What was Jack’s first impression of shepard? And now?

   "Oh dear god this fucking prissy bitch is going to be the death of me I am not falling into any uniform or behaviour requirements' lol. Definitely softens, especially since Adrian does really listen to her and doesn't like... try to /fix/ shit, she just listens and /will/ help but doesn't force it. (She also does kinda appreciate the fact that, Adrian is a nerd... but she's a nerd who knows and appreciates poetry so maybe that's something she can share with someone else?) In the end? Considers Adrian a very annoying but beloved older sibling.

35. How was that mako joyride from ilos to the citadel?

   White-knuckled terror for Adrian and Garrus. Best goddamn day of Tali's life cause she was at the wheel for it.

36. What was going through Shepard’s head, when they met Sovereign on Virmire?

   A Lot. A weird relief, because shit started falling into place. Existential terror of Lovecraftian proportions. And an undeniable flicker of curiosity and awe, because holy shit /sapient robot cuttlefish-/

37. What is their favorite way to eat potatoes

   Mashed with a lot of butter, garlic, salt and pepper; though she won't say no to a good jacket potato.

38. Lucky, or unlucky?

   It's all in how you look at things - many would say Adrian's lucky to have survived so much, after all. Adrian would... Respectfully Disagree and leave it at that. (She does count herself lucky for her friends, though.)

39. What would Shepard say their flaws are?

  That she is, at heart, a coward. She abandoned her squad on Akuze, and then was too afraid to speak out when the Alliance fudged things to save face; too afraid to leave the Alliance even once she started to hate it. She's bad at enforcing boundaries, and fears rejection enough that she'd rather make herself horribly uncomfortable than just say 'no' and have to deal with someone's disapproval.

40. What’s their pain tolerance like?

  Horrifyingly high, and this was pre-Lazarus. See 'will endure physical discomfort over rejection' above; Adrian just... kind of accidentally internalized a 'suck it up and deal' approach; to the point she tends to miss some mild injuries, and managed to stay conscious and moving despite thresher maw acid getting into her hardsuit and eating at her. Only increases post-Lazarus, she winds up... /mostly/ accidentally hurting herself a few times during the worst of it.

41. Shepard’s been turned into an animal! What are they?

    If she had a choice in the matter - Greenland shark or giant isopod. Going by general vibes though... Ross Seal. Look at em.

Shep go -laser sounds-

42. Does Shepard imagine what retirement will be like?

   In true canon? No. Adrian never does quite reconcile a life outside the Alliance, and fully expects - and after a while, /hopes/ - she'll just die relatively young in battle and not have to face the horrible gaping void that is the future.

   Tweaked canon? Not until most of the way through ME2 - the above still stands, but in the tweaked canon... she started spending time with Thane simply because he was also Doomed By The Narrative, and in this situation, had just... not pursued treatment for his condition, so there was a very grim but kind of pleasant mutual understanding of Things. But he's also on a ship with like some of the best medics in the galaxy and a lady who knows how to fix up organs, and saving Kolyat spurs him to see if anything can be done, or if it is too late. And /that/ leads to... not quite a fight, but a Strong Discussion that finally truly cracks through Adrian's whole... wall of Hell that everyone else has already started to wear down, that she finally allows herself to think, well, what if there /is/ a future for her?

  It's pants-shittingly terrifying and she hates it, because now everything is /so much scarrier and more fragile/, not to mention she still has no idea what it could actually /involve/, and even up through ME3's events, all she can really think of for if she survives (and gods help her, for the first time in her life, she's hoping she will)?

She'd like a home of some sort, with Thane. She'd like to learn how to cook. Anything else is still... too much. Too scary. But a home on solid ground and a new, useful skill. She can imagine those.   

43. What would they rather: wake up four years into the past, or four years into the future? Why?

   Tough call - assuming like, end of ME3? Adrian's... really not sure. She's done the timeskip into the future thing, and things did ultimately work out... and she's a little afraid, if she woke up in the past as she is 'now'? She might not be able to pull everything off a second time. So, future it is.

44. Does collateral damage matter to Shepard?

    To an extent - she doesn't like causing more damage than is necessary, but also if it's inanimate object vs someone getting hurt, welp, sucks to be an object.

45. Do they vote?

    Oh absolutely.

46. Favorite bar/club in the galaxy and why:

      Afterlife. The irony of having to go there immediately after coming back from being dead was kind of great, and the music is exactly her sort of jam - seriously, when she's scanning planets or building a ship she just has it on a loop. Idk she just vibes with it.

47. Do they let others take care of them?

Yeah she takes 'physician, heal thyself' a little too seriously and for... pretty much her entire life past 18, the only thing resembling care she'd really accept from others without (much) protest or immediately trying to do something in return was food, and that's because she could never get the hang of cooking even instant noodles.

48. How does Shepard feel about paperwork?

    Necessary, often annoying, but also it gets her out of her brain so that's why she's buried in it through ME2.

49. What do they wear to sleep?

Varies a little by temperature, but I imagine biotics tend to run hot so she's usually just in boxers. Maybe a tank top if it's chilly.

50. What was the last thing (non-email) shepard read? Book, play, poem, essay etc

    She's usually jumping between a couple books at one time! Through ME1 she's working through a collection of poetry from multiple species, the Cthulu mythos, and some middle-grade Spectre adventure books Joker sent her as a congratulations present (she actually rather enjoys them). ME2 is a lot of news, Revelation & Ascenion, and she dives /deep/ into hanar and drell poetry for. Reasons. Lockdown sees her pick up a subscription to a sci-fi/fantasy anthology and a couple knitting how-tos; and ME3 time leaves... very little time for reading. Most of what she goes through is the same prayer book Thane has.

   (She also has a couple books on gardening and cooking. Just in case.)

(+1 would you bang your shepard? Lol jk we all know the answer to that. Share your favorite fact about them!)

     In the Good End AU, Adrian and Thane wind up settling on, of all places, Akuze. It's a pleasant climate for him, and despite the memories... Adrian does find it lovely. And more importantly... it's like Omega but. Less. No one wants to lay serious claim to it because, Death Worms, so it's become prime real estate for dangerous sorts who are extremely tired and want to be left the fuck alone to exist in relative peace, they're too damn old and creaky for power plays any more.

The existing community is headed by an ancient krogan whose clan used to revere and work with thresher maws, she took her granddaughter there to pass on the old ways, and she's the one who has ultimate approval over who's in and who can try setting up somewhere else. Roz is a grouchy old bitch who doesn't keep up with the news, and even if she did, one human-drell couple looks the same as another as far as she's concerned, so what's it matter that she's just helped one settle up nearby? Get the fuck outta her town and leave her people alone or she'll get the shotgun.

[strayslost]

possible ideas for a fyodor backstory, this is all brainstorming. i have not checked AT ALL to see if this lines up with canon yet so if it contradicts anything please let me know!!

he was raised by his parents, who were... well, they Tried Their Best?? he was isolated and stigmatized by other children and adults for his intelligence, and his parents were honestly scared of him too and encouraged him to repress it, but they at least tried to show him compassion. his mother was sickly, just like him, and passed away when he was young. this introduced him to the "problem of evil" in a religious sense - and the idea that illness and natural pain that exists in the world is there because of the sin of humanity, specifically original sin, a belief held by a fair amount of members of the christian faith.

anyway, his father is killed by a criminal, and fyodor witnesses it - where his own ability kicks in, and he ends up killing the culprit. this is extremely traumatic for him, and he wonders why he was given this ability to kill, especially as those around him stigmatize and reject him even further as a result.

in his teenhood, he begins considering the idea that he's special; above other people, that he's been given this ability for some kind of purpose - anything to ease the guilt and prove those who've judged him wrong. and at some point, he finds out that his father (possibly mother too??) was actually a terrorist - someone who planned on using his (and other people's??) abilities to do great harm/destroy the world/whatever, i don't know yet.

he also witnesses plenty of examples of abilities being used to harm as he grows up (if anyone has any ideas they're willing to share lmk!!), and both of those things together lead him to the belief that humans shouldn't have that much power, because it only causes them to sin further. essentially, ability itself is a sin and has too much potential to harm. he also comes to the conclusion that death is a way of saving people - i have an image in my mind of him talking to a priest who makes an offhanded comment that leads fyodor to completely the wrong conclusion, lol... but regardless, he's started to pity humans, who know what they're doing is wrong but almost "can't help it" in a sense?? and he sees death as achieving three things - a way of releasing them from a world that only causes them pain, a necessary step in achieving his forming ideas of creating a better world, and a way to also literally save souls by preventing people from sinning further and going to hell.

he both holds a genuine empathy for people's struggles, but also a deeply arrogant sense that humans are nothing but foolish and sinful - they can't surprise him, and will always make the wrong decisions, and need to be told what to do and what to think. it saddens him to know when people suffer as a result of his actions, but only in a distant kind of sense - because it's for the "greater good" in the end, and it's a natural consequence to their actions anyway. however, he doesn't so much view himself as superior - i mean, he does. like. he thinks of himself as smarter than others by far, but he sees it as something that was blessed to him by god, and he recognizes that he merely "got lucky" compared to everyone else, which is part of why he pities them.

i lost track of the backstory along the way and started rambling at some point oops... really though, his belief that he has this grand purpose, and the responsibility to save people, it's all a defense mechanism stemming from his trauma of being isolated by others and the trauma of killing someone as a kid. he has to believe it all meant something, that there was a reason for it, that he's special. i feel like i might be missing a few important details though, and i might not be placing enough emphasis on his desire to get rid of ability-users specifically... hmm.

what do you guys think, is this an okay backstory, what's good and what could use changing, etc??

[realhankmccoy]

guess i gave that percy jackson thing 5 out of 10 cute to see america in greek mythology

but i'm in a quite sad mood tonight

i remember when iron man came out in 2008 and i think i remember taking one of the guys i did assisted living for to the film. i was very unpopular at that time in my life probably... i went from having a band and everyone kissing my ass to living for 2 years with a guy with down's, a guy with mild mental retardation and on weekends i'd go hang with a guy with pretty severe autism. i remember that cocky Iranian fuck from the spoiled family with money being really bad to me, everyone treated me like shit -- my cousin put an L on his forehead when he delivered the mail (guy was literally a mailman, which paid over twice what i was making -- i made $10 an hour, 20 to 30 hours a week something like that).

anyhow, i miss those guys tonight -- not all the assholes going places with their educations or pharmacy careers, total pricks

but the two guys i lived with, who had feelings and hearts and who'd hug me and who would say they're sorry and i'd say it to them because it was all way more mature and human than somebody like all these Trumped a-holes who think they do no wrong cuz they're secure and spoiled and don't ever have to be human or experience it like anyone who's had real harship.

i just can't stand that about america, this fucking spoiled shit, these people who've been overly loved, overly built up by their parents and take it out on the world, kickings and screaming and punching leftward.

meanwhile actual people with disabilities and seniors and minority issues and all sorts of people almost live on the razor's edge of just barely getting by. it's tough, and some assholes just make it tougher on everyone so that everything ends up more acrimonious, more monocultre, ultimately more feeble and huge time-wasting Spring Show Trump Show drama that ain't no fun

where was.. why was i writing this again

oh yes so we went to iron man film

this was really the start of the superhero craze in america i think,

i mean obviously it had gone on long before that but iron man followed by the dark knight i think it really just started to seem to every studio with those hits that they could just crank out a zillion of these and it'd be all america watches

and i made some post on myspace probably about how disturbing i found it that people go into this dark cave

to watch man turn into magic man and fly around

i mean i knew it was some Ubermensch shit but just the whole thing about super magic powers and whatever in a dark cave like we all want to see this and it empowers ourselves and it's more money for a ticket than i make in an hour

and this percy jackson thing is more of that

i mean you know the Matrix, the film right

it's as if we're all pulsing larva monkies

watching these dark boxes

and hoping we'll come out as Kali and Shiva and Vishnu or Thor

and some people could say well that's deeply human always has been

but i dunno, doesn't it seem like some sort of insect trying to sprout extra 'defense' mechanicsms that can really just as easily be predatory prob

and it's like who wants this, what, is this life

who wants to be X-Men

who wants superpowers

i feel... alienated from this USA. like everybody else is an alien trying to molt or mutate

i just want human connections with people i can trust if not 'forever' than for a long time

much harder to come by than superhero movies and superhero aspirations

power power power power power

everything in america is power people people wnating power politics is power and mitch mcconnell and diane fianstein won't let go because power power power power

and also money m$$$$$$ money moeny moeny moeny america

and i dunno, i could use some more money or power too, i mean sure

but at what cost, you know

and i don't really think that way or like to think that way cuz it's gross and typical and i think fraught with uh

bad stuff i dunno. i wouldn't say peril as it's so rewarded even 'at a cost' not so sure about that... money frees up a lot of free time for living once you have it, that is power gets you serviced or people to behave better instead of like such spoiled brats to ya

it's that...

it's that here i am, making Iron Man (2008) obvservations at Percy Jackson and the Lightning Poseidon Son movie again, 15 years later... have i don't what i'm hoping for

there's no open door

have i liked the things that life has shown me

where am i going to

just prob want to go to bed and cry again tonight

cuz i don't know anything

so that's what i'm doing

what to do, who to be, where to be

i don't know

and i don't know if i like what life's shown me, either but i know what i've liked and what i haven't liked i'll think more on it.

[jewishrevolutionary]

Poverty is not actively recognized in our country nor in the discussions of politics, and I feel deeply hurt and demotivated because of it, especially as someone who has been forced to live in the lowest sectors of it. It ends up being a discussion only used as a trump card, not a regular talking point that needs to be actively recognized. Milenials and Gen Z is the most in poverty, despite all the opportunities people had in college or elsewhere.

Ever since I got kicked out of my parents home, I have moved to the slummiest parts of my state's capital and I live in this shitty, broken down apartment that has lead paint in certain areas, mold in (possibly) the floor, the walls, the ceilings, and other areas. Our bathroom sink and toilet barely work, the refrigerator is broken down, and for the first 6 months, the lock to our front door was completely broken.

In all of that, I and my boyfriend have gone through a plethora of jobs. My boyfriend started talking about unionizing in his first job, got fired almost immediately. His second and third job was too stressful to keep up with mentally. And only now did he get a job that only gave him part time hours.

My first job was too far away to keep working in and they didnt even respect me for all the shitty work they put me through when we only had a skeleton crew. My second job, i got fired for taking a very small tip from someone. And the job Im currently working for is full of shitheads who've gotten recently promoted and are barking and kneeling for the owner and his shitty decisions. (For example, we had a foot and a half of snow and everyone avoided the topic of closing early and shamed me and another coworker for not coming in when it was too unsafe for either of us to leave) I also broke down sobbing during a stressful rush and was blamed for not communicating with my manager about the rush.

Either way, regardless of my own treatement and how much I can tell you about the treatment of my boyfriend at his workplaces, we're still in deep poverty and our rent is going to definitely increase, with the fact that we dont have a car yet that can help get us to and from places. And this constant feeling of dread that I cant escape this has made me so much more less hopeful than I was before.

I have nearly lost my faith in leftist/communist/anarchist movements because there is zero groups in sight in my state and anywhere near where I live. I have tried getting financial help by setting up GoFundMe's, public kofi's or anything. And the constant struggling and difficulty with my recent schedules have made it impossible for me to engage in any of my own artistic interests becsuse of the sheer amount of demotivation I've been through.

I want to be happy, I want to live a fulfilled life, but I dont want to be stuck under this constantly pressuring system that will harm me for not having *credit* and being a young adult.

I need money for a car, but no one is willing to spare because I'm seen as too young and inexperienced. I need credit for getting an apartment, getting a car, getting ANYWHERE, and I fear debt like no one else in the world.

And it has only made me more and more hopeless, because this a problem that is seemingly everywhere, but Americans dont talk about. They wont support each other through it, and I and my boyfriend have talked to people, have tried getting support, but we only get scoffs, angry mullings about making sure we make our own lives better, and advice that gets us nowhere. My boyfriend was told by everyone except his immediate family that trying to unionize was dumb and would have only led to his firing. That he needed to just suck it up and get better.

I want to have hope in people, but this last year has been so dejecting for me and my hope. I dont know what to do anymore. It hurts me a lot that there isnt anything for me to do. I, my boyfriend, and their sibling might become homeless because of the rent increase in the next 3 months, and I feel too dejected to even ask for money anymore because I know no one has money anymore.

I'm just going to end off on the note that I'm not planning anything. I just am going to survive. And if anyone wants to help, I just need help with saving up for a car so send me a DM or something. I have about 1200 between me and my boyfriend.

And be sure to ask everyone you know about their situation, be sure to help as many people as you can. I've been doing it despite my poverty, and it's because I have money to spend for myself that I know would be used better. It only takes a little to make people hopeful, and doing nothing makes them lose their hope.

[robininthelabyrinth]

For the prompt thing if you're still doing it: what if Madam Yu had sent some of the youngest juniors with WWX and Jiang Cheng when she sent them away from the incoming Wens. I doubt it would've impacted anything long term but I like the idea, i feel like the 3 siblings are all good with kids in very different ways. Also it means that in addition to 3 (not quite) adults who've just lost their home and family, there's a bunch of kids whom the same is true for and it'd be a disaster

1

A-Su was the one who told Wei Wuxian what happened.

The Wen cultivators that had been patrolling the marketplace, approaching Wei Wuxian from his blind spot, and Jiang Cheng had seen them coming –

“– and then shixiong put me down and told me to go back,” he said, crying bitter tears. “He said to tell you that you have to – that someone has to avenge –”

“That idiot,” Wei Wuxian said, his lips were numb. “The Wens – they have Wen Zhuliu there! Doesn’t he know what they’ll do to him –”

And now all three of them were crying, A-Su, A-Min, and A-Lei; the three of them weren’t even proper shidi, having never paid their respects to Sect Leader Jiang as their master, even though everyone had known that it was only because they were too young. They’d been so jealous when A-Jun, the oldest of the lot, had officially become the ninth shidi, before he’d been taken away by the Wens…

Wei Wuxian was helpless. He’d promised Madame Yu he wouldn’t let Jiang Cheng down; he’d promised Jiang Cheng that he wouldn’t leave the children behind, that he’d take them to safety – they’d found them hiding in barrels in the ship Madame Yu had sent them away in. Someone had told to sit and hide until it was safe, and it wasn’t safe, it still wasn’t safe. How could he choose between the two oaths he’d sworn?

But if he didn’t go, Jiang Cheng might be –

“We go,” he decided, even though it was foolish. Jiang Cheng was the only hope of the Jiang sect continuing – as much as he loved his shijie, Jiang Yanli would be unhappy as sect leader, with all the fighting and political maneuvering that the position required. If there was no Jiang sect, the children would grow up sectless, or be absorbed into another sect, and Wei Wuxian hated that idea.

Just as much as he hated the idea of Yunmeng Jiang becoming Yunmeng Wei.

“All of us?”

“I can’t let you stay by yourselves,” Wei Wuxian said, and it was true. The three of them were too young to hide the fact that they were cultivators, and bad at lying; leaving them alone was tantamount to giving them up entirely, and odds were good that he’d never find them again. He couldn’t break his promise to Jiang Cheng like that. “It’s very dangerous, though. You have to listen to me all the time.”

There was no way to balance out his promises. He’d just have to try to do the impossible.

To do – to do what Jiang Cheng had done for him.

Wei Wuxian swallowed hard and went back.

2

A-Lei tugged at the older man’s sleeve. “Can you help us find our ninth shixiong, too?” he asked shyly.

It was officially ‘shixiong’ now, even if Jiang Cheng was – was unwell, as Wei Wuxian put it. He’d barely been able to sit up in bed, but he’d still accepted their offerings of tea and let them kneel in front of him, and just like that they were proper Jiang sect disciples at last.

The cultivator that had helped them get Jiang Cheng away from the Lotus Pier – his name was Wen Ning, he said – blinked down at them. 

“What do y-you mean?” he asked.

“The Jiang sect’s ninth inner-door disciple,” A-Lei explained. “He was flying a kite, and the Wen sect took him away and said he’d done something wrong – but that means he wasn’t at the Lotus Pier when there was all that fighting. Do you think he might still be alive? He’s my biological brother. Well, half.”

“I don’t know,” Wen Ning said, hesitant. “I don’t have much status in the Wen sect, just a few subordinates that listen to me…”

“He’s my brother,” A-Lei said. “And my shixiong. His name is A-Jun and he’s better at shooting than our sixth shidi; he’s strong but a little silly sometimes. Can you try?”

“I can try,” Wen Ning agreed. “I’ll go back and look for him.”

“I’ll come with you,” A-Lei said. “You won’t know what he looks like, otherwise. Da-shixiong has to take care of Sect Leader Jiang, and it’s not like we’re doing anything to help.”

“I guess that’s okay,” Wen Ning said. “My sister needs me to help with something for a couple of days, but I think we can go after that –”

3

A-Jun was missing an arm when they found him, working as a slave in the Wen sect’s army canteen because he knew how to put together Yunmeng food that didn’t scorch the unaccustomed tongue, but he was alive.

There was a lot of crying.

“Everyone else is dead,” A-Min sobbed.

“I thought you were dead!” A-Jun said, his one remaining arm wrapped around A-Lei. “There were piles of bodies!”

A-Su just wailed.

“Can we maybe not be doing this here?” Wen Ning said, rubbing his face until his cheeks were red. “Please? We should go back. My sister doesn’t want me doing anything with you; I didn’t tell her I was going to meet with you. Or coming here. Or anything. I’m not supposed to have anything to do with the Jiang sect after - after what happened. She’s going to be so angry…I really need to get back.”

“You can’t go back yet,” A-Lei said. “Didn’t you hear what I told you before? Da-shixiong is missing.”

“I know Wei-gongzi is missing,” Wen Ning said. “But I haven’t heard anything about him or where he is. I promise I’ll tell you if I do. But really, we have to go! If anyone finds you in the middle of a Wen camp –”

“But you said that they won’t recognize us while we’re wearing Wen robes,” A-Min said, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“Neither will the Nie sect, if they attack,” Wen Ning pointed out. “Which they might.”

A-Jun looked at his three shidi. “You trust him?” he asked.

“He brought us to you,” A-Lei pointed out, and both A-Min and A-Su nodded. “He’s pretty all right.”

Wen Ning looked surprised, and then flattered to the point of blushing – he really wasn’t very good with compliments.

“Okay,” A-Jun said. “In that case, I have an idea…”

Less than a shichen later, Wen Chao was laughing at Wen Ning as a naïve idiot and Wang Lingjiao threw her shoes at him, but they had their answer – of course the report of Wei Wuxian had to be a false sighting, Wen Chao said between somewhat frenzied laughter, how could it be anything else when they’d thrown Wei Wuxian into the Burial Mounds in Yiling with their own two hands…?

Wen Ning bowed his head and hunched his shoulders, looking the perfect picture of embarrassment, and scuttled out of the room, bumping into Wen Zhuliu and recoiling a bit, then moving around him and out, going back to the kitchens.

“It worked,” he said, shoulders still shaking from the adrenaline. “But Wei-gongzi…”

“We need to go get him!” A-Su said at once. “Even if it’s just his bones. Otherwise Sect Leader Jiang will never stop looking.”

“Don’t curse him!” A-Lei said. “Who says da-shixiong is dead, huh? He’s really strong. He could survive the Burial Mounds.”

“He’s definitely dead,” Wen Ning said gloomily, his hands still shaking, though whether from the revelation, the humiliation, or the close brush with Wen Zhuliu, who he sincerely and utterly hated, despised, loathed. “How could he survive? Especially without a –”

4

A-Min was the one who said, “We need to go find Wen Ning” to Jiang Cheng, because of course he was – A-Lei was the brave one, A-Su the crybaby, A-Jun the cautious survivor, but A-Min was most notable for being straightforward, simple-minded, and stubborn.

In other words, stupid.

“Why in the world would we go find one of the Wen-dogs?” Jiang Cheng snapped.

“Because he might get hurt,” A-Min said, puzzled. “He’s a Wen, after all. None of the new people fighting know that he’s a good one.”

“There’s no such thing as a good Wen.”

“No, Senior Wen is good,” A-Min insisted. “He helped us rescue you from the Lotus Pier, he helped take care of you when you were sick, he even helped us find da-shixiong in the Burial Mound…”

“Wait. That’s how you found Wei Wuxian?! A Wen told you?”

“No, Senior Wen didn’t know. He smuggled us into a Wen army camp and A-Jun had the idea of making him come in with a report that he’d heard someone had seen da-shixiong, and Wen Chao told him that was stupid ‘cause he’d been tossed into the Burial Mounds,” A-Min said.

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking conflicted.

Finally, he said, “Even if he helped you, it wasn’t necessary. Wei Wuxian would have gotten out of the Burial Mounds even without your help – without any of our help.” He looked a bit bitter. “He certainly doesn’t seem to need any of us anymore. With his demonic cultivation, he’s an entire army on his own – who needs all the Jiang sect cultivators I took so much time to raise up?”

“The Jiang sect does, of course,” A-Min said, not really understanding the connection between the two. “Imagine how boring it’ll be back in the Lotus Pier if it’s just you and us and da-shixiong! Actually, why don’t we invite Senior Wen to join the Jiang sect? That way, he won’t be a Wen-dog anymore.”

“Definitely not!”

“Why not? You took everyone else that’d join. You should probably kick some of them out, actually; they’re no good.”

“I will once things are a little more stable – anyway, that’s not the point. I’m not taking in a Wen. We’ll be accused of betraying the cultivation world.”

“Oh, that,” A-Min said. “That’s no big deal. They say that about da-shixiong’s cultivation, too.”

Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose. “It is a big deal. Even if it’s about Wei Wuxian’s cultivation. It’s very useful for killing Wens, but it’s still unorthodox. Once this is all over, he’ll have to give it up and go back to normal.”

“But how can he go back to normal if he doesn’t have a golden core?” A-Min wanted to know. “Isn’t that why he invented demonic cultivation?”

Jiang Cheng lowered his hand and stared at him. “What.”

“What?”

“Wei Wuxian doesn’t have a golden core?”

“No, of course, he gave it to – oh, no,” A-Min said. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

“A-Min. As your sect leader, I am ordering you to tell me everything you know about this. Right now.”

5

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” A-Min protested. “Not tell him? He gave me an order!”

“You should have joined the Nie sect,” A-Lei said with a sniff. “You’re as blunt as a saber.”

“No way. There aren’t enough chili peppers in Qinghe for me.”

“There aren’t enough chili peppers in Yunmeng for you,” A-Jun said, serving them all soup. “I still can’t believe you told da-shixiong that his congee wasn’t spicy enough – I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look more offended, and I’m including the giant fight he had with Jiang Cheng over their cultivation.”

“Don’t worry,” A-Su reassured the dubious-looking Wen sect members that Jiang Cheng had claimed from the Jin sect after the fighting was over. “It’s not that spicy, and anyway we have some milk in case it is.”

After Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian got over their argument, they’d put their heads together and came up with a plausible-sounding argument about how the Jiang sect needed people more than any of the other sects, having lost so many of their own, and that as a result they should be given all the prisoners of war as part of the spoils. It meant they got fewer treasures, and less money, and the Wen sect remnants were mostly old men, women, and children so the deal was actually pretty bad for them, but Wei Wuxian said it would be dishonorable to do anything else and Jiang Cheng reluctantly agreed.

He’d insisted very loudly that it didn’t mean he forgave them for anything, but they’d all seen him kneeling on the ground to show little A-Yuan the basics of archery early in the morning when he thought no one was looking, and no one believed him even a little bit.

Still, it all worked out pretty well. Wen Ning was an excellent archer, even if his cultivation was a bit weak and his body not fully recovered from the beatings he’d suffered in the Jin war camp, and Wen Qing a uniquely talented doctor, and there were a few more useful people besides – even if all the old grannies knew how to do was laundry, that was still useful, since the Jiang sect had lost all its old grannies in the attack on the Lotus Pier.

They could make up the money another way.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I think of da-shixiong’s congee,” A-Min said after he finished his first bowl of soup, reaching out for more. “We won’t have to deal with it for much longer.”

“What makes you say that?” A-Su asked, immediately anxious. “Is he sick? The demonic cultivation…”

“No, his demonic cultivation is much better now that he’s using all those clarity rituals,” A-Jun assured him. “Wen Qing started up a correspondence with some people in the Nie sect, since they have all those qi deviations, and they’re working on a whole bunch of new ideas – even the Lan sect is chipping in. With three of the Four Sects working on it, they’ll fix the problem, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I meant, anyway,” A-Min said.

“What did you mean, then?” A-Lei asked. “Why would da-shixiong stop making us his horrible tasteless congee? And don’t say it’s not – being spicy and having flavor are two different things.”

“Well, he might get married,” A-Min said. “During the hunt at Phoenix Mountain, I saw him and Hanguang-jun kissing in a tree –”