#to see what we're keeping / prioritising etc.

[decidentia]

My follower count is starting to creep up and my dash is getting crowded. If we’ve nothing going on yet but you’re interested in interacting, please like or comment on this post and I’ll reach out to you when I have a moment. ♡

[wisteriagoesvroom]

when you watch lando's old footage back with his different teammates you can see his chemistry is so different with each and every one of him. you can see the observant and maybe nervous first year f1 racer that he was around carlos. the fire-meets-fire vibe that they brought, all the overflowing energy of being early 20somethings.

then you get the daniel era where it's honey and butter. both of them warm and charming and lando still learning from the other. but also lando also coming into his own as a racer and realising that he's not an imposter - he's on the level, if not better at that point, than the person who raced for red bull and has 8 GPs under his belt. even if that same racer seems a shadow of his former self at mclaren.

then you get the 2022 merry go round, and oscar. might as well be night and day when they first meet.

oscar, who keeps to himself, puts his head down and works. oscar, watchful and careful after the silly business with alpine. who probably knows he's coming into a buzzy environment with big personalities and huge expectations too - because who is this kid who had the audacity to basically flip off alpine? and via social media of all things (how very modern for an old-fashioned sport). how is this kid gonna make his mark on such a storied team, where the last win is almost now as old as him? what is he going to do with all that potential, right?

we love the machine, because we love watching the potential of a bright young thing fighting their way out of its jaws. lando was in there too, not so long ago, and the poison from that bite might still seep.

nobody knows what to expect. but lando gets to be the elder in the duo for the first time. lando's also going through a process in 2022-23 where he also seems to be entering a new phase of his life and realising some stuff about himself as a person too and what his priorities are. we'll never truly know what that process is (nor should we), but i think on this side of 2024 you can already see how he's handling himself out of it.

and we saw it maybe, in a bit of a smirk at oscar's first day for the car launch and oscar being late. a bit of wonder at oscar, who when suited up seems physically larger than what he remembers.

but then! oscar puts in the work. good chatter surrounds newbie and his working style, and oscar demonstrates maturity. he shows what a contender he is. that he's got his own approach, and he's ready, and – once the car comes – he starts backing that up with good results.

lando is competitive as hell on his own terms. but seeing a twenty one year old from the Reserve bench come in under er, fraught circumstances, then smashing out result after result from Suzuka onwards - surely that puts some fire under your ass in a big way. and! lando is someone who, i think despite his bad luck and lack of a win yet, is incredibly driven and has it in him to be a proper WDC contender. he has that quality. if his teammate is pushing him he's just going to push himself harder.

which culminates, interestingly, in soundbites we're getting recently. like the peter crouch interview, where lando says he's stopped DJ-ing because he's prioritising racing. not an easy decision to make i'm sure, and maybe one that would've happened without oscar's presence at mclaren anyway– but just one signal of where his headspace is probably at now and into '24. lando is also much more reserved about the soundbites he's giving lately (like "i'm not making any race or win predictions anymore and i'm taking things as they are because predictions haven't come true for me in the past, there's too much expectation on myself" etc etc.).

you might even describe it as... maturity.

and guess who has been described as incredibly composed and mature by the mclaren team?

exactly.

[blackpilljesus]

I've not dated or had close relations with moids in years. I've been on the path to spending the rest of my days as a single childfree woman & committing to it as an osawoman. During this time here's what I've learnt, shorter version here:

This lifestyle is a privilege - being able to exist without having to directly depend on a moid romantically/sexually is a luxury. Know the privilege you have and how you can take full advantage of it and keep yourself set. We arent living this way solely bc we're smarter, we were just momentarily luckier. Most women are a political/natural disaster away from losing everything. Bear this in mind; along the way think of "what if" to best start preparing yourself.

Dont bother justifying your ways to people - Most wont and dont want to get it. Save your breath. By getting into back and forth arguments over not marrying moids & not having children you are digging a deeper hole for yourself by giving them more fodder to counter. They wont change their minds. End the conversation short & move on.

You cant save everybody - Ditch the saviour complex. We all get dealt bad hands in life; some worse than others. Other peoples lives arent your responsibility, there's only so much you can do because you've got your own issues too. Besides some are too far gone, you'll only end up drowning or being burned trying to save others especially if they dont want saving.

Recruitment is a waste of time - I often see extensive discourse around this topic w/ some women trying so hard to recruit others into this lifestyle or being separatists, wgtow, etc. All this does is waste time that can be spent on building instead. If some women dont get it oh well it's not the end of the world (although every woman does get it, they're just doing what they can t survive) it doesn't matter long term TO YOU because if you're serious you dont need other womens understanding/stamp of approval to build a network/resources for women; you can get started without them; heck some may join once they see the value like how so many women broke up with their partners after watching the barbie movie. Some women are more focused on recruitment than living the single childfree life they claim to be about and it consumes them - dont let recruitment consume you. Besides other women willingly engaging with moids buys you some time; those who know - know.

Most activism is a waste of time. Things only change when it benefits those in power but they will never relinquish their power entirely. It's great to put knowledge out there for others to learn but getting into discourse having to justify yourself & being swallowed by your activism will do more harm than good. Most activism is a stepping stone at most for the next chapter of your life. Learn to game the system instead of changing the system.

Focus on yourself. Everything as we know it is rooted in the system that has been perfected over the millenias. The problems of misogyny, racism, ableism, etc have existed before we were born and will exist after we die (part of why im not birthing into this mess). Trying to change it is a losing battle. This doesnt mean dont advocate or care about anything but look out for yourself first & be comfortable learning to existing between the cracks. It'll be quite the exercise tho as we've been socialised to prioritise others.

This is not a lifestyle one simply chooses it's something that chooses you. This isn't for everyone, those who know; know. If you require a lot of convincing or handholding then it isn't for you.

It gets lonely. Not because of not having a moidfriend; even when partnered with them many women still feel lonely. It's because most women are moid centric / obsessed and would want to be partnered with an xy someday or already are. Very few women truly commit to or understand this lifestyle irl tbh. Even my moots who are separatists or just single & childfree are halfway across the world. However that said, many women in the community can also be toxic; holding each other to high standards and there being constant bickering. You can befriend moid partnered women but be careful with them. We're surrounded by the system, existing out of core elements of it will come with a degree of isolation but on the bright side there's also peace if it all goes well.

Less is more. The less you say to others the less ammunition they have to hit you with. Bragging about this lifestyle to our predators will only make things harder because they've already got a huge upperhand. Too many of us moving in one go will bring unprecedented waves we're not ready to deal with. See 2, 3, and 4.

Ignorance is not bliss. Completely cutting off from xys including knowledge of their evil will make you unprepared should a threat strike. Not understanding moids nature is how some women think things are as easy as getting up and walking away without considering security & other factors then get suprised when moids strike. I'm not saying drown in true crime & xy evil but dont stray too far you lose touch of reality. Side note this is why women are gaslit about moids nature so that they dont have the chance to effectively prepare. Stay informed. I constantly learn from the women around me. Pay attention to xy motives & tactics. The power they hold, possible moves they may play etc. You wont be able to know/guess everything but stay in the loop nonetheless.

You will make mistakes be prepared to learn

It gets easier to control your attraction to moids overtime (if you're osa) as your focus is elsewhere as you realise there is a more fulfilling world out there beyond marriage & kids. Also life is just so much better. I know most women want the fairytale prince charming or an angel nigel but it's just not happening. Especially in a world like this. The freedom to be able to exist as a person & not a slave/punching bag for a rape ape is BLISS. You get so comfortable with it you wont wanna be with moids anyway especially when you see what other women go through. (Side note this is why women are pushed to being with moids as early as possible so this level of enlightenment is never reached & instead all women know + become accustomed to is suffering at the hands of moids).

As time passes and you mature into this lifestyle you can tell who's new and who's got skin in the game. I wont elaborate here as it'll digress and this note is long as is but those who know; know.

There's so much work to be done it'll last a lifetime. This lifestyle ain't easy. It strays from the norm so the typical guardrails that come with traditional options are out of the picture. The good news is that you can spend time crafting your own blueprint to follow or share with others who are willing. There's such little in terms of infrastructure & resources for single childfree women and yeah xys will likely try to destroy these things but at the same time if it can be done go for it and bear xy threat in mind we gotta start somewhere.

A purpose/guide is important. It's something that's going to guide your life through the ups and downs because it wont be a smooth ride but it'll be something that can make you in situations that break you. This isn't a "fuck you" to moids directly, it's about ourselves. Seeing this lifestyle as some type of "gotcha" against moids will only make things harder and lowkey misses the point of decentering them. I have my reasons for never getting married or having children that are solid (if you need inspiration checkout r/breakingmom on reddit). True comes from seeing something as bigger than yourself; find a purpose in this line of life to keep you going.

Invest in yourself. Personally, financially, etc. Pretty obvious but especially now that you're going to be more alone you need to be able to count on yourself more. With enough investment it can help other women too.

Invest in female network. No gyn is an island. Even though I'm not much of a social person the friends I have make my life better; they've been supportive but also honest. Also support female centric spaces online & offline; they're all that we have lest we be banished to the silo prison of the "nuclear family" or exploitative misogynistic communities.

Get comfortable disassociating/cutting people off. If you want to survive some things/people will simply just have to go.

You arent owed anything from other women, but you dont owe them anything either. The operating word here is owed, I aint saying women shouldn't help each other - I'm saying dont feel entitled. The feminist "girls support girls" schtick is bullshit. We're in a cold world full of ruthless oppression where everyone is just trying to survive however they can; in many cases it helps women survive when they turn on other women instead of on moids. Solidarity works because those who have solidarity politically speaking are people with power, it works in their interest to stand & work together as to keep + maintain their privileges in society so there wont be much female solidarity as in many cases it's not worth it to women long run. It aint right but that's how they perceive it so watch your back.

Everything is political. Always remember this. Many (privileged) people try to downplay politics & its effect but it runs our world which is why they want you blind to it. Pay attention.

There's merit to being around like-minded women even if it's just online. Like I said before it gets lonely. Very few women are willing to face & accept the truth about maIes. Being around like-minded women can be depressing sometimes as they drop blackpills bitter than you can initially handle but at least you dont feel so isolated/crazy.

[dallonwrites]

bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP

I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING

Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.

A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good

I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.

I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:

Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.

On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page

On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL

About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier

On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas

That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.

[gluffering]

12 16 and 19 for any media of your choice?

12: the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

As must as I want to point at an F/O that I don't see the fandom talk about as much.. let's be real most people on my F/O list aren't unpopular.

I know the question is essentially "character that is unpopular because people don't like them but you do" instead of "character who's unpopular because people don't KNOW THEM" but fuck it.

CYBERSIX THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. From the 1999 animated show that lasted like.. a single season before being canned. Idk shit about the comics and I intend to keep it that way, I read like 5 pages of it and decided that was enough for me LOL. Anyway she is so cool I love her.

I don't even remember the episodes super well other than concepts and stuff (the Youtube videos I used to watch this ages ago have DEFINITELY been removed by now) but I adore her.

During the day she has a male disguise who's called Adrian Seidelman and like

She's my bigender awakening. Side note but the theme song for this show is gorgeous, I had that shit on LOOP for a while.

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Pretty much any trope, headcanon or characterization that prioritises the fantasy over the character themselves. I could probably be ok with almost any trope if it suits the characters and it's written well (with obvious exceptions).

Ships are included in this. ESPECIALLY when the existence of the ship makes it clear that the shipper fundamentally misunderstands one/both/all characters that are a part of it. Blade X Dan Heng, I'm looking at you. If people could just stop bullshitting all over the place just because characters have tension with each other, that would be so awesome (mostly not related to the Dan Heng x Blade slight, just something else about ships that bugs me).

19: you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I was a little ashamed about my Meta Knight fixation when I first had it, but I am hashtag over that shit.

Technically not a part of the question, but there's a bit of guilt whenever I get into a Hoyoverse game or just games in general that clearly have colourism (at the minimum) issues. It's kind of hard not to be when gacha games are like "WE'RE RELEASING A NEW 5 STAR!!" and it's another fucker who's so white you'd think they were ILL.

Genshin is particularly egregious for this, because what do you mean you're using their cultures yet there isn't a single black playable character? Not even ONE?? Give me a fucking break. This is one of the reasons why I take long breaks when I play these games because it's honest to god distracting. Beyond the fact that it's racist as fuck, how do they not understand that having almost every character who's the same colour as my WALL breaks the immersion? What the balls.

..

.. also blonde men.

[jamiewintons]

Ariel Conroy Smut Alphabet

The fifth in a series of smut alphabets that I’ll be writing for the Baynton Boys. Let me know which boy you’d like to see next! (Anon who wanted to see more Ariel, I hope you enjoy this!!)

18+ ONLY! F!Reader. Warning for implied/mentioned stalking and kidnapping, along with choking - this is ARIEL we're talking about. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

With Ariel, it depends on what kind of relationship the two of you have. If it's just a fling, he won't bother with aftercare at all, he'll probably just get up and go to take a shower without a word.

But if he's in love (read: obsessed) with you, Ariel will be surprisingly affectionate; he'll want to lay in bed with you for a while and just hold you against his body, kissing wherever he can reach.

B = Body part (favorite body part of their partner’s)

Your neck; whether that's kissing it, biting it, wrapping his hands around it... you'll definitely end up with hickeys all down your throat when he's done with you.

C = Collar (do they mark you as theirs in some way?)

As I said previously, he'll definitely leave hickeys all down your throat, and that combined with his constant presence is usually enough to signal to other people that you're off limits. Sometimes he might get you to wear an actual collar, but that's only for when you're home in private.

D = Dominant (do they prefer to dominate, or be dominated? are they a top or a bottom?)

Ariel is a dom through and through, but if you're lucky, and he trusts and loves you very, very much, you might be able to convince him to be submissive to you every once in a while.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's quite experienced, probably one of the more experienced Baynton Boys. He knows what he's doing for sure, but he's got some things to learn about prioritising your pleasure over his own. Don't worry though, he's a quick learner, and if he's obsessed with you it won't be so difficult for him.

F = Fuck (do they prefer to fuck or make love?)

With Ariel, they're one and the same. Even if he's madly in love with you, he's bound to be rough.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's definitely not goofy, but he's not entirely serious either. If you're getting particularly desperate or needy, expect him to draw attention to it and probably laugh.

H = Hot (what turns them on, gets them going)

The quickest way to get Ariel going is to kiss or touch his neck in any way. It's pretty much an instant turn-on for him, and you can easily distract him by doing just that.

I = Insatiable (how do they act when they’re desperate to have you?)

Ariel isn't shy when he wants you. He'll grab you and push you up against the wall, or pull you into his lap, and kiss you hard, letting his hands roam your body.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Ariel definitely has watched you masturbate, both before and during your relationship. He thinks of it as 'research' - not that he doesn't enjoy watching.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ariel has a lot of kinks. Some of his favourites are bondage, choking/painplay, and overstimulation/edging (all on you, of course).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Pretty much anywhere around his house. He's more comfortable when he knows that things are clean, and he keeps every surface in his house immaculately sanitised.

M = Mood (what’s the foreplay like? how do you get them in the mood?)

Lots of neck kisses/bites, and Ariel's hands all over your body. You can get him in the mood in pretty much the exact same way.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Even Ariel has his limits, and he's not going to do anything that's actually going to seriously or permanently injure you. Anything that's super unhygienic is also a big no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

At first, Ariel doesn't really have any experience giving oral. It's never been something that particularly interested him. But for some reason, you make him reconsider that policy and he finds that he loves going down on you. He does greatly enjoy receiving though.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough is definitely more Ariel's style. On rare occasions, he'll go for a more slow and sensual approach, however.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Ariel loves quickies. That's part of the reason why he loves to have you around all the time, because if he suddenly finds himself in the mood while he's working, he can just pull you into his lap.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's definitely up to experiment, but he prefers to be the one that is bringing the new ideas into the bedroom.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Ariel has excellent stamina, to the point where it's nearly ridiculous. If it's not a quickie, sex with him can last for hours, especially if he's in a more sadistic mood and feels like edging/overstimulating you for a while.

T = Tryst (are they into casual sex or one night stands?)

Yes. He's got a pretty active sex drive and sometimes he needs someone to fulfill that. Once he's got you around, though, he doesn't feel the need to fuck anyone else.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ariel's a massive tease. As I said earlier, he loves to edge/overstimulate you, and hearing you beg for him is like music to his ears.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not too loud, except he does tend to moan pretty loud when he comes. He can get quite talkative though; he's really into dirty talk.

W = Wait (how long do they wait before having sex with their partner for the first time?)

Ariel doesn't want to wait too long, at least once he's got you. He was very patient while he was watching you, so he wants to be able to have you as soon as possible.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Thin, like all of the other Baynton boys. As you can expect, he keeps himself incredibly clean.

Size-wise, Ariel's pretty big, but unfortunately just that little bit smaller than Jamie.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high. He'll probably want to have sex multiple times a day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Usually you have sex during the day, so he doesn't tend to go to sleep right after. Even when you do have sex at night, he'll definitely want to shower before he goes to bed.

[mono-red-menace]

NPD's name is like. stigmatising and everything but like. the reason for the stigma behind it is that it's a mental illness. and mental illnesses are just broadly stigmatised.

like even if they changed the name. the stigma would always be there.

bc like it's there for borderline, and that name isn't stigmatising at all, yk.

like don't get me wrong the name sucks bad. but like the big things i see are "don't use narcissist to label people! it's stigmatising to mental illness!" and "the name narcissistic personality disorder is inherently stigmatising and it needs a different name," or, more broadly, "the name narcissistic personality disorder proves the stigmatising nature of psychiatry."

i believe in bits from both sides, honestly, but like,

my broad experience in psychiatric care shows that Generally, they are here to help and hold no stigma. HOWEVER, enough people within the field hold stigma toward anything beyond depression or anxiety, that looking for psychiatric care is a minefield. and like also some of the names and ways symptoms are described are stigmatising, even if the majority (not a vast majority, but a majority) of the professionals i've seen are very, very against the stigma around mental illness, and that some "symptoms" aren't even problems, and don't need to be treated.

but also like, i think most people in the world show some things which can be described as symptoms of mental illness, and i literally think it should be mandatory teaching like, in schools, for people to learn how to manage their emotions, communicate effectively, etc. like i literally think shit like CBT and DBT should be something everyone is taught.

and also i think like. stigma toward mental illness is bad and it's not rlly just bc of like. the names of them, but also bc ppl perceive mental illness as something that Makes You A Bad Person, and don't recognise that the reason for the behaviours is because of trauma, and instead like, it's just bc the person is like. Selfish or Manipulative or whatever. when, in reality, the lack of empathy or manipulative behaviour stem from mistrust or other negative feelings rooted in their trauma.

like mental illness Can lead people to behave in ways that are harmful. but those harmful behaviours are also defence mechanisms, and the people who perform those behaviours deserve the kindness they need to unlearn those behaviours.

like not necessarily from you. like you don't have to be there the whole time to hold their hand if you're not able, but stigmatising them for the behaviour isn't the answer, yk.

sometimes the answer to a person who has harmful behaviours is to hold them until they stop being scared.

and sometimes it's "i care about you, but you are behaving in ways which are harmful to me, and, while i want to see you better, i need to distance myself from you for my own health," and based on their response, either sticking around in their periphery to show you care, or leaving entirely if you know they will continue to be harmful to you.

but like, showing kindness towards these people, and recognition of the fact that their behaviours are a result of unhealed wounds, while prioritising what you need, is the answer. yk, like, stigmatising them and treating them like their behaviours are rooted in Evil ensures they'll keep being hurt, keep having that wound opened, and never heal.

like one thing i want to say is like. abuse is more complicated than just The Abuser Is A Horrible Person, yk. To abuse doesn't make you An Abuser, just as how committing a crime doesn't make you A Criminal. Abuse isn't something you are, it's something you do, and it can be changed. and you can't always make up for it, but you can learn from it.

and the big stigma with mental illness stems from how "Abusers" are treated by society. it's the lack of forgiveness and room for growth. someone fucks up, and they're treated as a "Criminal" forever.

what are we? christians? we're just going to hold these people to these fuckups forever?

someone has trauma that leads them to perform harmful behaviours, and that means they don't deserve a chance at all? someone performs harmful behaviours and that means they have a Disorder and are Bad By Nature? yk?

there's so much Determinism in how we view others and it fuels stigma.

an abuser isn't something you are, it's something you do, and a disorder doesn't make you an abuser. it can lead you toward abusive behaviours, but that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to behave abusively, and that doesn't mean you're unforgivable and you won't grow and improve if you do.

idk. i had more of a point but my roommates keep talking rlly loudly and it's distracting me. 😔

[alrightsnaps]

Yes about Edwina being a plot device in the show.

I think people think if you criticise Edwina then you are pitting the sisters against each other, but that’s not true, I don’t hate Edwina, I just really don’t like the character arc for her. Especially as Charithra said she goes through the biggest character arc, I don’t see it - maybe if she’d started to wake up a bit earlier in the season and had a plot that didn’t centre on her basically preventing K&A from being together - she’s used to cause the angst and longing in the courtship, and then in the fall out from the scandal. She has no other plot! They dangled her realising what she wants in front of us but then gave us nothing about her actually trying to figure that out, because they had to spend time on her being hurt.

In order to make the whole wedding and angst and drama they had to make her so fucking dumb. I get that she is 18 and sheltered, and I also think she isn’t to blame for any of it as she was used by a lot of people, but it’s still unbelievable to me that she didn’t notice it. When she says before her wedding that Anthony doesn’t look at her enough, why has she not spotted who it is he is looking at instead?

If maybe she liked him up until Aubrey Hall, and then started to notice, it would have given more space for her to have a character arc - she could still be mad/disappointed with Kate for hiding her feelings, and Kate/Anthony could still feel guilty, but then we wouldn’t have moments like in episode 5 where she says ‘love moves swiftly’ about her an Anthony while he is staring at her sister over her shoulder, to the point Violet has to distract her.

I think Charithra was fabulous and I was blown away by her acting in episode 6, but it took too long for her to have that moment!

Oh definitely.

I far from hated Edwina but I just felt so....underwhelmed and disappointed by her character? Because as a book reader this isn't some random character we're talking about, it's Edwina. We were supposed to adore her. The Sharma women were supposed to represent what is probably the most beautiful relationship between female family members in the series. The actors spoke of a "soulmate" love story between her and Kate that simply wasn't there, or at least wasn't mutual.

It felt a lot like the writers didn't know what to do with Edwina's character most of the time outside of her being an obstacle for Kate and Anthony's love, so I hardly saw any consistency in her characterisation. For example, throughout her courtship she focuses a lot on her role as future Viscountess (impressing Anthony so that he'll see she's up to the task etc), which would've resonated a lot imo if they had kept part of her book arc of carrying the burden of needing to secure a good match for the sake of Mary and Kate as well as her own. It would've perfectly reflected the pressure Edwina faced in being forced into the marriage mart and having to make a society marriage.

Instead the show keeps sending us mixed signals; Kate is the one who knows about the Sheffields and the need for Edwina to marry a titled gentleman yet prioritises her sister's happiness and wants her to marry for love, while Edwina who is none the wiser fixates on the one man who makes it clear he doesn't want a love match. From the moment she meets Anthony she keeps trying to shrink her personality and present herself as this simpering wife material so that he will propose... and when in the wedding episode Anthony reiterates what he's been saying throughout their courtship (that he just views her as a woman he can see as his perfect Viscountess) she is somehow shocked, as if this is news??

It just felt that the writing was all over the place with Edwina and I failed to see how taking the girl who was pushed into the marriage mart for the sake of her family but yearned for freedom to make her own choice and turning her into an infatuated debutante who spends the entire season blindsided about her relationship with Anthony made her in any way a complex character. The way the show tried to "empower" Edwina reminds me a lot of their attempt to make Eloise into a feminist; hollow and lacking in essence.

I was hoping she'd be back for future seasons so that we'd actually have a chance to see her character done justice, but apparently Charithra has said that this won't be the case so...that's another way Shondaland let us down

[moririki]

↷ 📦 ↶ MORI'S 100 FOLLOWERS EVENT!

heya!!! so recently i've hit the milestone of 100 followers, and i'd just like to say thank you so much! i'm so honoured that i've reached this so quick and i'm glad that you guys like the stuff i write :))

so uh. i have decided to celebrate it! with a prompt list. hopefully this doesn't flop (if it does let's just pretend i never posted this lmao) and yeah that's about it. there's a few rules n stuff, but other than that happy requesting! and once again, thank you guys so much i love you all <33333

UPDATE: tHank you so much to the ppl who requested!!! i had so much fun with this event and i'll be sure to do more in the future!

(THIS EVENT IS NOW CLOSED)

⊱┊RULES!

i. i intend to have a deadline for the event (though nothing's set in stone) so try to send a request before july 23rd if you want to participate in the event! please note that this prompt list can still be used after the event finishes, though requests will not be prioritised

ii. unfortunately, current series (kiss list) and outstanding requests will have to be put on hold, as the event will take priority

iii. the regular rules for the content that i write still apply to this event, and i will only write for characters that are found on my masterlist however, my understanding of the characters that i write for are of varying levels so i can't guarantee that everything i write will be of the same quality

iv. regular requests are still open while the event takes place if you want to stick to a more traditional format however, these will not be prioritised by me and will most likely not be written until i finish the requests from this event

v. you can request as many times as you want with as many characters as you want drabbles & preferences are welcome! please keep this character x reader, though

vi. if you want your request to be a specific genre (smut, angst, fluff etc) please make that clear when you request

vii. nsfw content is permitted in this event, so take care if you do not wish to see it and let me know in your request if you are against it being used as a smut prompt all nsfw content will be tagged as such, and will have a read more tag

viii. when making a requests, just send me a number and a character then i will do my thing >:) to make things easier for me please do fill out these criteria, and any other details that you may want included

⊱┊PROMPTS!

"i won't let you do this alone"

"let me bandage you up"

"come here, i'll carry you"

"is something wrong?"

"stay with me"

"hold me. please"

"you're the first person i think about when i wake up"

"i would go anywhere with you"

"no one has ever made me feel like this"

"i missed you... a lot"

"come back soon"

"i'll never forget you"

"you're overworking yourself... please take a break"

"i didn't make you uncomfortable, did i?"

"what happened to you?!"

"i'm sorry"

"i love waking up next to you"

"we can look out for each other"

"you don't have to pay me back"

"can i give you a hug? you look upset"

"i'm yours"

"how much did you drink?"

"i asked if you were having a party. i didn't tell you to have a party"

"this is the opposite of what i told you to do"

"how did you get in here?"

"you owe me a kiss"

"that's not even fair"

"why don't you take a picture? it'll last longer"

"detention? again?"

"why don't you just go?"

"it doesn't matter any more"

"don't lie to me"

"why do you keep bringing it up?"

"maybe in another world"

"i can't do anything right"

"nobody's seen you in days"

"why are you awake?"

"i told you not to fall in love with me"

"is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

"i think you might be my soulmate"

"sleep over? please?"

"are we on a date right now?"

"quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

"could you please.... oh, i don't know, maybe put a shirt on?"

"aren't we supposed to be working?"

"i'm telling you, i'm haunted"

"what do you mean they're my new partner? they tried to kill me last week!"

"i could punch you right now"

"i'll feel much better if you let me walk you home"

"apparently, all of our friends have a bet going that we'll end up together"

"i don't know how to exist in a world without you"

"i don't know who you are any more"

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it!"

"seeing you between my legs is so hot"

"the noises you make are incredible"

"bite your lips once more, i dare you"

"god i love your hands" "let's put them to good use, then"

"i know you can be louder than that"

"never trust a man whose smile steals the breath from your lungs"

"sorry, is that supposed to impress me?"

⊱┊THIS EVENT'S WORKS!

pushing the limits - tsukishima kei

a bloodstained confession - rengoku kyojuro

a moment of vulnerability - miyuki kazuya

beautiful boy - kawakami norifumi

more than you'd bargain for - denji

a devil, then a man - denji

a giver - denji

beyond words - inumaki toge

finish what you started - miyuki kazuya

observant, as always - miyuki kazuya

take a look at the menu - ,, 📦 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

[rantingcrocodile]

I've been pondering this.

If men and women are of equal IQ, and women have higher EQ, how is it that men are able to so easily and smoothly manipulate us without us knowing most of the time?

They've convinced many women that they are more oppressed than us, convinced many women that radical feminism is bad, convinced many women that we are not oppressed at all, and have convinced many women that degrading acts like prostitution, rape, abuse, hijab, etc are empowering or hot. They've even convinced us that they are "better women than cis women" (their words, not mine) and we believed them.

What's going on? Why are there basically no women who recognize what's going on if we're apparently just as smart as men are? I'm pretty sure you'd need to be smarter than women in order to trick us so easily.

Hey, if we have higher EQ, doesn't that mean that we'd easily see past this bullshit?

You're looking at this entirely the wrong way.

Aside from the fact that IQ tests and the like are useless, based on very specific kinds of pattern-recognition that depends on how you've been educated (meaning that it's even more useless across cultures and then can be used by racists to say that different groups are "less intelligent" etc), how intelligent women are has absolutely nothing to do with how we're tricked and gaslit by the patriachy.

You have to bear in mind that most of this is down to female socialisation. There are parents who change how they think about their baby from the womb as soon as they're given confirmation that they're having a little girl.

When little girls are taught to be quiet, tidy, thoughtful, given toys replicating housework and child-rearing, when little girls see that boys are allowed to run around, get dirty, be loud, be the centre of attention, etc etc etc, that's all internalised from a young age to prime us to put ourselves last and treat men as being more important.

Then, add on to the messages that little girls see about other girls and women. Little girls are mean and manipulative and will stab you in the back. Father is out to work and hardly parents, so is fun and understanding and silly, but Mother is at home doing chores (even if she works, too!) and does more disciplining, so she's cruel and terrible and is the one that really doesn't understand. Older women are ugly, nasty, vicious gossips. Women, little girls are told, aren't to be trusted, but men are logical and understand the world better. Little girls are taught to gaslight ourselves and keep our experiences to ourselves. Little girls cry more anyway, so feeling upset and alone and misunderstood is just girls being girls and unimportant, so don't bother others, and if other girls are crying, then again, that's just girls, and maybe it's manipulative, too.

When you add all those factors together, male voices are allowed to be the loudest and women tend to put our heads down and just accept what men are telling us. We try to be kind, and any woman who goes against what men are saying are just the ugly, nasty, vicious women they were taught existed, and to be good, then it's right to prioritise men and show those horrible women that they're wrong.

It isn't the victim's fault when they're abused and manipulated into silence and to prioritise and agree with those who have abused her. It's the abuser's fault. It doesn't make the victim any less intelligent. Victims can't simply "stop being victims." It takes time and patience and support to break free of that kind of intense conditioning from birth.

Men would have us think that we're "stupid" and that it's actually our choice to prioritise them, but all that does is deny what we're actually put through. When you see the full context, you realise it has nothing to do with anything other than us being the victims of this abuse - abuse that our mothers internalised too and passed on because they thought it was "normal," passed on from their mothers who also thought it was "normal," to different specifics.

That's where female oppression comes from. Men. Not us. And it isn't our fault.

[traumacatholic]

I always strive to tell you I love you and that I am eternally thankful for the job you do here, it has helped so many. However, at the moment I find myself unable to move on from the guilt of the pain I have caused others almost non-stop through my life. I wish the Lord could just sweep me away and give those people some solace, I am baffled on why I must keep going, but I wish not to turn against myself and create even more suffering, what should I do?

Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm sorry that you're struggling.

I think when it comes to these kinds of things we tend to view the bigger picture of every instance of harm. In some aspects, this can be helpful to see recurring themes that we might want to pick up on e.g. striving to gossip less, or striving to be more punctual and giving with our time. In other cases, the sheer amount of instances might overwhelm us or we might ineffectively try and tackle everything at once.

First of all, we have to understand that as a consequence of being human, we are going to bring harm to other people. This can be as a result of miscommunication, of them just talking to us when we're having a really terrible day, a simple clash of personality styles, etc. As much as we should strive to do as little harm as possible, we need to also be realistic in our approach. We don't want to become such a people pleaser that we constantly prioritise other people's feelings over the right thing to do or our own needs/values/wants.

Sometimes, we are even going to cause harm or pain to other people and this is going to be the right thing to do. Maybe your friend really wanted to go out drinking one night, but you just weren't up for it or you don't drink. Your friend can be hurt by you not wanting to go out drinking, maybe all their other plans fell through and now they're stuck at home feeling lonely. It's unfortunate that they're going to feel lonely, but it's also a good thing that you didn't over exert yourself or go against your values.

When we are analysing a situation, this is always something that we need to consider. "Was this harm avoidable?" "Was this harm as a result of me reinforcing my boundaries/needs/wants?" "Was this a failure on my part to recognise their boundaries/needs/wants?". From there, we can know how to correct - if there's any correction that needs to be done. Please don't think that the answer to harming others is to swing around the other way and strive to be a people pleaser, because it's not realistic (we can never completely avoid inflicting some form of harm) and we can really burn ourselves out.

When it comes to guilt, sometimes we do just need to sit with it. Sometimes, hey we're a shitty person and we deserve to sit with the pain and guilt we experience when we realise the consequences of our actions. Trying to throw that guilt aside, or just wishing that we could 'get over it' is in part because we don't want to associate ourselves with those labels. We don't want to see ourselves as a gossiper, or as a rude person. But sometimes we need to realise that, yeah we have gossiped a lot, and we should be doing something about that. And we can only do something about that label if we actively put in the work to not fall into gossip again.

It's about recognising what parts of our guilt are deserved, and what parts aren't. We shouldn't feel guilty for resisting peer pressure into doing something for example. But we should feel guilty if we try and peer pressure other people into doing things. Sometimes when we're sitting with a lot of guilt, we can also bring in a lot of feelings and experiences that we shouldn't be feeling guilty for.

I think the best thing you can do is to try and detangle your past experiences. What things can you learn from them? Try and keep as big a picture as possible, as in, don't go in to the details. Don't sit and count every time you gossiped, but just make it a note that you've fallen into gossiping a lot. From there you can look to see how you can avoid falling back into these patterns. We can't go back in time and undo that harm, but we can try our best to let it educate us and prevent us from bringing that harm to others.

Remember also that our pains and our anxieties can be offered up to God as a form of prayer. Each morning you can go "Hey Lord, please take the pains and anxieties of this day and use it to bring some healing and comfort to those in my life that I've harmed." Maybe something that might be helpful is to make a note of the different past things that you've been prone to do - e.g. gossiping, lying, getting into arguments etc. And offering up a novena or a chaplet or a Rosary for each of these things. Such as offering up a novena of prayers to bring healing to those that we have gossiped about, and to ask the Lord to help us avoid falling into this sin again.

[rxspbrrry]

Wait that character game tho

Albedo and Kazuha (mental attachment)

Clotted Cream and Oyster (mental attachment + genuine love to Oyster)

check albedo's here <3

putting my personal bias for him aside for now to talk about what a GREAT character he is!!!!! SOOO 2.8 kazuha backstory huh. i love love love the character development he got when his family went into decline, when he decided to become a wandering samurai, when he decided to end the kaedehara bloodline and be free. and he doesn't stop developing there!!!!! during the inazuma archon quest, kazuha was really the only one who managed to change for the better - he learnt to overcome his grief over his friend and even avenged him, not by killing the shogun, but by doing what his friend couldn't do WITH the help of his friend!!! i think his character was written the most beautifully in the inazuma arc. no one else comes close, not kokomi, not sara, not ayaka, and definitely not fucking ei lmao.

i'm aware that many (if not all) the kazuha fics out there label him as a dreamy, charming guy who prioritises you above everything else, is super romantic, knows exactly how to calm you down, is perfect boyfriend material etc and,, yeah, to some extent, yes. he is pretty charming canonically and he uses it to his advantage. but if we're speaking about an actual relationship (btw @souglias and i had a long ass convo about this everyone say thank you sher for the big brain ideas <3) honestly, i don't think kazuha is someone who would commit long term to a romantic relationship lol. he's canonically a wandering samurai and most likely has no time to settle down, and definitely prefers travelling to new and different places than being domesticated with someone. not saying i don't like the kazuha fics, i adore them and the writers who manage to make him so dreamy in the fics <3 it's just how i characterise kazuha LOL

oh clotted, the star of the entire creme republic arc!! you guys already know how insane i am over him <3333333 i love how his character was presented in the story, as a snobbish stinky politician at first to a man who's been abused by his father but still stands up against him :") and i love how he tries his hardest, despite the constantly switching opinions of the creme republic and the two faced hatred from the elders, to keep the republic safe and make everyone happy god i wish he would just take a rest and hug me ;(( not complaining about his screentime since he's already the protagonist of the creme republic arc <3

admittedly i was wrong about oyster in the past 😔 i initially thought she was gonna be a super sus elder who would be painted as an antagonist but!!!!! i love that she ended up just being a morally grey character (as grey as her colour scheme) who is willing to help people but makes sure she gets something out of it too. the girlboss of the century the milf ever the lady !!!! <3 man i should really think about her more. too bad she was only mostly relevant for a couple of scenes, i really wanted to learn about her backstory and see her be more badass :((