#to the point where as a bi woman I hold back with being critical of men and patriarchy because you don't want to be that person

[bouncybongfairy]

The Connection Of Water

Percy Jackson x Water Nymph Reader

Summary: After finding your way to camp half blood, you end up befriending a blue-eyed boy who can't keep away from the water. You end up taking a late night swim with Percy.

Word Count: 3k+

Part 2 is now posted! <3

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You were running through the thick brush of the woods, now and then feeling a sharp branch scrap against your skin. You keep looking behind you, seeing if the minotaur was still chasing you. You were regretting following the glowing dove that appeared to you in the early morning. Hot tears were streaming down your face. You could feel your stamina declining, your legs were getting heavier with every step. You wanted to scream because of the cramping in your body and the terror in your heart. You kept yourself from doing so, not wanting to lure the monster right into you. You really panicked when the dove was losing its glow. You were not only feeling scared for your safety but saddened that this beautiful dove leading you was withering away with no purpose. As you were running, you saw torches glowing a vibrant yellow and red. You follow them, hoping to run into someone who could aid you. You eventually stopped looking behind you because every time you did, you almost tripped. You could hear the minotaur roaring somewhere behind you. This was motivating you to keep going. 

You finally see a wooden sign that was written in Greek letters. You were so scared that you didn't bother looking at what the sign said. You just wanted to get away from the monster that was hot on your heels. There were people in armor who seemed to be surprised that you made it through the gate. You turned around and fell on your bottom, watching as this monster came closer. You tried to scurry away, but the armored people were reassuring you. They helped you into a white tent. This is when your eyes become too heavy to keep open anymore. 

You woke up to the sun shining directly onto your face; you hold your hand up to block it. That's when you noticed white bandages covering the scraps from evading the minotaur. You sat up and looked around to get a better view of your surroundings. Cots lined up against the walls. Some people were laying down in more critical condition while others were just getting quick treatment. You threw your legs over the bed, but before you could stand up, a woman came up to you. 

"Hold on dear, are you feeling dizzy or hungry at all?" she asked, placing her cold hand on your forehead to check your temperature. You shook your head no and let your hands rest in your lap. 

"Do you remember how you arrived?" she asked. 

"I was home, a glowing dove appeared before me. I followed it south until a minotaur chased me. I don't remember how I got.. here though," you said referring to the building you're in, she looked at you raising her eyebrows; almost as if she was confused.

"You don't think you're mortal?" she asked which caused you to crank your neck up at her; you must have looked as confused as she was. 

"I know i'm not mortal I'm a naiad," her eyes widened and she excused herself. At this point all you wanted to do was go home. You missed your sisters and were feeling extremely regretful that you followed the dove. The women came back shortly after being followed by a centaur. 

"Hello little one, my name is Chiron. You must be extremely confused, let's take a walk and allow me to make it all clear," he said. You didn't respond but got up and followed. 

"This is Camp Half Blood where we protect and train the offspring  of half human half mortal young adults. The reason the dove appeared to you was to lead you here. The dove is a symbol of Aphrodite, we have lots of her half blood kins here you are not the first. However these half bloods are half mortal, you are the first naiad we've had here. This is certainly not a bad thing, please don't feel out of place due to that aspect. I just wanted to clear that up and show you around a bit," he said resting his hand on your shoulder as you walked. 

"I can never leave here?" you asked which made him laugh.

"Yes of course, we can't keep you here against your will and students can go home to visit family. However we teach you a great deal of combat and other skills that will help you navigate the world safely as a half blood. Not only that, you get to be surrounded by those who understand exactly what you've been through and the struggles." he said. 

"Is there a lake nearby? I have been out of water for a while, I don't mean to-"

"You don't have to apologize, it's always overwhelming for new campers when they are debriefed. The Canoe Lake is only a 10 minute walk down this path. If you need anything just ask," he said walking away. 

You were happy that he took the hint about you wanting to be alone. It wasn't like it was as big of a bomb as it would have been for a mortal. You knew of the Greek world and of the existence of gods, your dad was a full blooded naiad. The half blooded aphrodite was what really threw you for a loop. Everyone you walked past on the trail was staring like you had two heads and three arms. It didn't matter to you as much as wanting to be in the water did. You could feel your skin becoming tight because of the lack of moisture. Once you saw the rays of light reflecting off the surface of the lake, you smiled and let out a sigh. You strip off your tee shirt and shorts and walk into the lake. The feeling of relief was like pure joy, feeling the soft earth beneath your feet. You dove underneath the water and let the water carry your body for a couple moments. You find them slowly growing and expanding once they are fully submerged. Your eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark water as you went deeper and deeper. 

You swam around for a while, finding lost items like bead bracelets or glasses. There were fish that came right up to your face, oblivious to your being there. Then they would swim away for their lives once they noticed you there. This would make you laugh, a few bubbles escaping your mouth. You got a taste of what the fish were feeling when you felt a literal tap on the shoulder. You whipped around and were greeted by another naiad, she signed for you to follow her which you did. After swimming alongside with her for about 5 minutes you reach a rather large rock. You follow her to the surface and see that there are several other water nymphs sitting on this rock. You joined them at the top where you were greeted by several voices. 

"Hello, so I hear you are the newest naiad to camp half-blood. Is this true?" the girl who led you here asked. 

"Word travels fast. Well I thought I was just naiad but the centaur Chiron told me that I'm actually half god half naiad," there was a long pause before the next girl spoke,

"What god?" she asked. 

"Aphrodite," you said, ringing some of the water out of your hair. 

"Wow, another blonde bimbo to add to the barbie house," she said, causing a couple other girls to laugh. 

"Do you live there? Chiron didn't say anything about overcrowding," you asked, which caused the girl's smile to slowly fade from her face. You looked around and noticed there was a couple of girls snickering, 

"Only the kin of Aphrodite stay in the cabin, Naylene is just a water nymph," one of the more quiet girls explained. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean any-'' you began to apologize if you came off wrong but it seemed that Naylene's ego had already been bruised. 

"Well good luck making friends, I mean we all know the reputation you bimbos get around the camp," she said, diving in the water, being followed by a couple other girls. This left you sitting on the rock with one other girl. 

"Don't worry about her, she gets so jealous when new girls, especially from your mom, come to camp. She's always been like that, don't take it to heart." She said to you, 

"Yeah I guess, I'm Y|N by the way," you said formally introducing yourself. 

"I'm Madison," she said, holding out her hand to shake which you did, "It's starting to get dark which means supper is going to start soon. You can come with me if you'd like," she offered. 

"No I appreciate you but I've been out of the water for a while, I just need to soak for a little longer," you said. 

"Okay, if you see me at supper or just.. around don't be a stranger," she said as she grabbed her towel and left the lake. 

You sat on the rock for a while admiring the sunset, it was a striking purple and pink color. The water was beginning to get colder and the breeze picked up a bit more. A few tears escaped your eyes when you thought about your sisters and your father that were at home. You wiped them away and practiced a bit of mindfulness. Many kids don't get to experience the beauty of nature in a place like this. As you were talking in your surroundings you noticed a dock attached to a cabin on the lake. You dive into the water and swim over to the wooden platform that was floating above the water. Once you got there you hoisted yourself onto the dock and looked out at the water. From this angle it gave the illusion that the lake went on for miles and miles. The dock was facing west, which meant the sun set directly in front of it. You began to ring your hair out again so the cold water wasn't dripping onto your back. As you were admiring the water, you heard something fall behind you. When you whipped around and saw a dark haired boy staring at you. You immediately stand up and apologize for intruding, 

"I'm so sorry I assumed because of the dock that it was just- I'm really sorry for intruding," you said. 

"It's okay I um- the naiads come up all the time," he said picking up the pen he dropped. 

"Sorry I'll go, I'm late for supper anyway," you said, going to walk past him but were interrupted. 

"You're going to the dinning hall like that?" he asked, you looked down and became painfully aware of just how unclothed you were. Only wearing a cropped shirt and boy shorts, that were still wet.

"I left my bag at the lake side where I jumped in. I was just gonna grab my stuff and change before heading down," you said, he walked over to the dresser and grabbed a bright orange tee shirt that said camp half-blood. Underneath the white lettering was big, sloppy black writing that said 'Jackson'. He then handed you a pair of black basketball shorts. 

"My mom got those for me last summer so they should be small enough for you," he said playing with his fingers before continuing, "I can take you to the dining hall and to pick up your bag on the way, if you get lost you won't make it in time," he said. 

"Oh thank you," you said, waiting a couple seconds for him to turn around so you could change. He didn't so you ended up having to ask which he did. Once you got dressed you thanked him again for his hospitality. 

"I'm Y|N," you said. 

"I'm Percy," he said. 

The walk was really nice, he was telling about about what time meals were. What the different symbols on the cabin meant, even some of the social constructs that had been created in the camp. When you told him about how passive aggressive the other water nymphs were he said he wasn't surprised. He explained that a lot of the girls here get caught up in the social competition of being a teenager. You explained to him how you got here and you both laughed when you realized you had the same experience of being chased by a minotaur. You picked up your bag as you followed the trail and the smell of food. He told you that he was the only half blood in the entire camp which surprised you. It was equally surprising when you told him you weren't half mortal.

"No wonder Naylene hates you, she's intimidated by you." he said in a matter of fact tone.  

Once you both walked into the dining area all the eyes were on you both. Percy whispered that the only reason they were staring is because we don't get new campers all the time. This made you feel better until you saw Naylene who was staring you down with a scowl on her face. You followed Percy to grab your tray. He then took you to the firepit where he explained the custom of giving the best thing on your plate as an offering to the God's. You even met two of his friends Grover and Annabeth who were extremely welcoming. It really turned your entire day around. They warned you about people to steer clear of like Clarise, which you were grateful for. Annabeth even showed you the Aphrodite cabin which was.. overwhelming to say the least. It reminded you of a sorority, so much hair and the smell of perfume was super invasive in your nose. They showed you where your bed was and surprisingly were all very nice. You thanked them for being so welcoming to which one of the older girls responded, 

"Pretty girls are always kind," she said. 

You were happy that bitchy campers were the only thing that was bad about this place. The older girls in the cabin were helping the younger girls get ready. Brushing their teeth and braiding their hair. Cleaning up, sweeping the floors or getting their beds ready to sleep. You were getting a lot of compliments which were giving you a permanent grin. You were getting comfortable in bed, reading a book when someone tapped you on the shoulders. 

"There's someone here to see you," one of the girls said. You were confused but set your book down and went to see who it was. It was Percy, he was carrying a plastic bag that contained your wet clothes from earlier. 

"You're up late, thank you," you said, grabbing the bag from him. 

"Yeah I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd bring that back," he said. 

"Yeah I can't sleep either, I was thinking about going for a swim later to help," you said. 

"Can I come?" he asked, which really surprised you. 

"Yeah, give me like five minutes," you said, going back to your bed to put away the plastic bag. You went up to one of the older girls and asked if you could borrow a bathing suit top which she gladly handed over. 

You changed and made your way back outside. You walked together to his cabin, that was the first time you had seen it a night and it was beautiful. There were slight gaps in between the logs that made up the wall, which made it look as though it was bursting with light. The inside was even more impressive, there was Greek artwork painted on the walls. A big California king bed, right above the headboard was a painting of the famous statue of Perseus holding the severed head of Medusa. Other more modern things sat on his desk like comic books and a laptop. You didn't say much before getting into the water. Due to your dehydration, your tail didn't come out when you were in the water before but after about 10 minutes in the water you were in full naiad form. Percy was sitting at the bottom of the lake and you were swimming slow circles around him. 

You obviously couldn't speak with each other but the look in each others eyes didn't need words. You grabbed his hands and started swimming, with your tail you could swim incredibly fast. You looked over at him and his lips were being parted because of how fast you were going which caused you to stop and laugh. He laughed as well and motioned for you to pay attention. He then started to control the currents slightly so that he could maintain the same speed when swimming around. You would point out different fish to each other or plants that you thought looked cool. After a while you just sat next to each other, enjoying each other's company. He got up and loved the sludge on the ground and pulled out a necklace. He held onto the back of the necklace and used a current and got all the mud off. It was a beautiful necklace. The charm was two acrylic rose charms that were ombre from dark violet to light. In the center of both roses was a pearl. He swam behind you and attached it to your neck, you smiled and blew him a bubble kiss. Bubbles burst out of his mouth from how hard he laughed. 

You both resurface and sit on the dock with each other. Percy looks over and notices that your teeth are chattering. He gets up and grabs a towel from his room and drabs it over your shoulders. 

"Thank you," you said as he sat back next to you.

"It's not a big deal, you know I've never hung out like that with anyone in the water like that," he said looking over at you. He had hair hanging on his forehead, almost covering his eyes. 

"Kinda helps when you're with someone who can also breathe water," you chuckled. 

"No, even with Naylene and them I never will hang out with them in the water like that," he said. 

You looked over at him and noticed he was still looking. His eyes were so blue they almost looked like they were glowing. You lean over and give him a peck on the lips. Although it wasn't a long passionate kiss, it didn't take away from the romantic aspect of the moment. He smiled and blushed a deep red before getting up and helping you stand

"I'll walk you home," he said before returning the peck back to your lips.

[chicago-poet]

idk i went back and forth on whether to post this bc i dont make a lot of posts and idk why i expect people to care but also i do want to tell someone and have other people know so.

super long confusing musings on my sexuality and stuff under the cut. its long so u dont have to read it but id like it if u could like the post if u wanted please n thank u 💖💖

like ok so for a long time now ive id'ed as an ace lesbian and felt at home with that and now bc of circumstances and reasons ive started thinking again.

but a part of me has always felt so disconnected from other lesbians like they all understood something i didnt and i loved the solidarity and community of being a lesbian but i didnt really understand such a big part of it. wrt being in love and sex and all. like i think i confused wanting that closeness and intimacy as being the same thing as feeling it.

and like i guess the turning point of that is that like i do want companionship and someone in my life but the way i want it is never the way other people do even through casual dating etc like sex and romance...the way i want those things are so specific to me and its feels like a venn diagram thats a circle and no one else is ever going to share that with me. maybe someday but its such a slim window to fit into that i cant expect it of other people right now.

but ive been reading abour qprs bc thats another thing ive been super critical on in the past (and i still kinda cringe hearing it) and i mean on one hand qweerplatonic feels like one of those tumblrisms thats code for "my discord relationship" and i feel like when you have a community based on a lack of something people fill the vacuum with like. fandoms and strawman comics. like im adult that pays taxes i dont have squishes on anyone.

but like that aside. i do get it. i like my independence and not having to compromise on things and it would be nice to have a life partner who is similar in those things but still wants the emotional intimacy and exclusivity and commitment of a partner. and qpr is like the best way to explain what i need to other people ig

and in that way i finally understood that like. being acearo is a very specific way to want a connection with someone and u do need words for that so u can find other people like u bc most people dont feel like that and its not wrong to want words to explain what u want to other people and if qpr is the best way to phrase it then i guess im stuck with it.

and then its like so do i feel attraction??? have i ever? but im still gay?? how can i be gay and also acearo? but it makes sense to me bc like i want a partner someday and it is more than a friendship. like in the past ive had very intense girl friendships that blurred the line where we would cuddle and hold hands and talk abot getting married and everyone negged us about dating/thought we were dating and ive always been the one to shy away from it when it came down to finally confront it.

but then when it comes time to say if were gfs i just....dodge the question forever. and i feel guilty about stringing ppl along like that bc i know they want something more than that and im ignoring it. like ive always been happiest in that gray undefined zone thats more than friendship but not quite dating.

like ive always been free with affection and then uncomfortable when someone (understantably) wants it to mean something more. ive always been the one whos not as into the other person while theyre enamoured with me. like my ex just used to gaze at me and say they love me and id be like .....thanks....you too! bc i did love them and i thought we wanted the same things. but it was complicated.

ALL THIS is to say that if i do enter in some kind of life partnership somehow it would still be with a woman or non binary person most likely bc i feel most comfortable with them and still dont like men in that way. so im still gay?

but u know. i identified as bi before as a lesbian before and then an ace lesbian so right now im in a phase of my life where aromantic asexual lesbian is the best way to describe me and im okay with that. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone else but me. it can be contradictory and confusing and "incorrect" but like if thats what i feel descibes me best then thats how im gonna be. its lonely but its also freeing because at least now i realize that i know what i want and i can have what i want if i meet the right person someday.

flowers for u if u read this far down💐💐💐💐💐💐 thank u to anyone who read any of that.

[mariacallous]

This week Kit Connor, the young star of Heartstopper, Netflix’s dreamy LGBTQ romance, came out as bisexual – but not by his own choice. “Back for a minute,” he tweeted, referring to his self-imposed break from Twitter due to previous harassment. “i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye”

A feverish entitlement to details of celebrities’ sexualities has been growing online for years, with celebrities being increasingly called on by fans and media to “come out” and confirm rabid speculation. Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Jameela Jamil, Rita Ora, Billie Eilish, Yungblud, Shawn Mendes and most recently Connor have all been pestered to confirm their sexualities amid obsessions over the most spurious of clues – a paparazzi photo, a music video, a choice of role. Connor faced a storm of scrutiny when pictures emerged of him holding hands with Maia Reficco, a costar in a new film. For touching a woman, after playing a bisexual character in Heartstoppper, Connor was accused of “queerbaiting”, a criticism levelled against stars who are believed to be “performing” queerness for clout.

It is this same kind of thinking that leads to arguments that Harry Styles shouldn’t be allowed to wear a green feather boa until he confirms how he identifies, or Billie Eilish being criticised over mildly sapphic scenes in a music video, followed by demands that she “come out” in order to justify them.

Queerbaiting was originally a criticism directed at films and shows that would hint at LGBTQ+ representation without actually depicting it, in order to attract LGBTQ+ audiences without having to lose the straight ones. Think of when the directors of Avengers: Endgame spoke publicly and loudly about having queer representation in the film, only for it to turn out to be a single line spoken by an unnamed secondary character.

But the extremely media-literate young people who make up online fandoms have weaponised and debased the term, levelling it at any celebrities they believe are performing queerness to curry their favour and and earn the “pink dollar”.

Unlike in the past, when public scrutiny of sexuality was mostly driven by homophobia, this new entitlement seems to be mostly couched not just in acceptance but an intense support for queer identities. While this sounds nice, the problem lies in the fact that celebrities have no say about whether they want this “support” or not. It also perpetuates regressive attitudes around performative queerness for straight audiences, where certain “types” of identity are seen as more valid or real than others. It also doesn’t acknowledge the very real dangers that still exist for people who make the choice to publicly come out. In the end, it all becomes just more content for us to measure, judge and consume.

The “pressure” that Connor wrote of is not a few scattered trolls or the odd thinkpiece. We’re talking about giant, engaged fandoms across multiple social media networks that might be invisible to you but are of real and pressing concern to anyone in those spaces. Heartstopper’s surprise success stemmed from support from a passionate fandom, which he couldn’t really afford to ignore. These fandoms have a terrifying ability to exert pressure online: they are numerous and vocal, and everyone working in culture right now, from executives to actors, knows that courting them can mean success.

While both Connor and his Heartstopper costar Joe Locke have deactivated their social media accounts, that Connor felt “forced” to return and come out shows the pressure is both toxic and real. Connor’s character Nick is also on a journey of discovering his sexuality, which is treated with incredibly moving respect and love in the show – but it is something many of the show’s fans clearly misunderstood.

Coming out is a personal journey, but it is one that’s been policed by people both inside and outside of the queer community for a long time. Rebel Wilson recently said she also felt “forced” to come out when a gay Sydney Morning Herald gossip columnist threatened to write about her new relationship with a woman. “There are levels to telling ­people,” she said. “You tell your close family and your friends and not everybody. Across our two families, not everybody is as ­accepting as what you’d hope for, and we were trying to be respectful to those people and tell them in our own way.”

Connor is a young man, bullied into reckoning with all the complications, joys and confusions of his sexuality in the public eye. Even if you don’t care about celebrities, such entitlement among the public is emblematic of a wider issue – celebrities aren’t the only ones suffering. Such binary attitudes have made their way into the queer community, where there are arguments about who is “allowed” to march in Pride or enter queer spaces. It all leads to a situation where there is a “right” or “wrong” way of being queer, where coming out and performing is expected, rather than a choice. Nobody’s sexuality or gender identity needs to be offered up for other people’s consumption – no, not even a celebrity’s.

[menalez]

Heyo, I'm half arab through my dad and when I went to visit my family in the middle east I just noticed shit was fucking awful for women. I'm not saying arab men are biologically worse than white men or something, but for now they just are worse than white men. For social reasons. Is that racist? I hate white men, but at least I feel comfortable and safe as a bi gnc women in Europe, while in the middle I had a target on my back all the fucking time. They are all so fucking misogynistic and disgusting. I hate them. I just want to save the female members of my family, that are either veiled or have done plastic surgery to the point where you can't even tell them apart. My old grandma saw me for the first time in years and she just wanted to make me grow my hair, dress feminine, shave my legs and introduce to arab men to marry because I have the European look. Seriously they were all soooo disappointed I was gnc because I have light hair and light eyes, saying I could be the most beautiful girl out there and I just want to spit in their faces. Men look at me like I'm a piece of meat because I'm "exotic". At least in Europe white men show their misogyny less. And even here, when I meet an arab man they are so sexist! They are always religious and think women belong to the kitchen and white women are just whores to fuck before getting married to a proper virgin arab girl. I feel sorry for the arab girls, since they are always either veiled or the most feminine and proper women out there, and really it's two sides of the same coin but at the same time it frustrates me to no end because they. Don't. Want. To. Criticize their men! Like please that guy is a fucking piece of shit! While having no problem criticizing white men, and I all for that go ahead kick their asses but like. Let's talk about these other guys too and maybe hold them accountable??

Anyway. I have a lot of anger from that one trip to the middle east. I'm a little scared of my thoughts because they feel pretty racist. Do you have tips on trying to get over that?

i think as long as white men are getting mail order brides, partaking in sex tourism, murdering their girlfriends, serial killing women, raping, are involved in misogynistic cults, etc that it wouldn’t be correct to say that they’re any better. go look at white men in countries where women have fewer rights, whether they’re from there or travelled there or live there for whatever reason, and you’ll see they’re the same. they like to pretend to be better to the public because of what’s socially acceptable in their societies. people seem to think of the best country in europe for women and then want to compare it to the worst country in the middle east as if there’s no difference in development, human rights in general, and governments between those countries + as if there aren’t several european countries that are either the same or even worse than many parts of the middle east.

and yeah sorry after the i feel sorry for the arab girls part + what followed, im feeling very off about this message and i don’t even know how to put it into words. especially because nearly every single arab woman ive met will talk shit about arab men and men in general a LOT among other women (esp arab women). even my mother who spends her time being in denial and justifying terrible men will start going off on how trash they are at times. it seems like your experience is very limited and you came into it with bias + your experiences ig in europe are your “normal” so you can look past all the misogyny and acts of white men but how it is in the middle east is foreign to you so you pay attention to it more or sth. this just feels off to me, at the very least. i don’t even know how to start with tips even bc i feel like this message isn’t even genuine almost but that’s mainly bc of how u worded some parts

[callstolike]

Btw, I find it interesting how it’s implied that M*lina sleeping together is meant to be seen as a “wedding”night by LB since they’re fading the Darkling the next day.You also have M*l talking about wanting to give her a wedding she deserves which tire into the very patriarchal puritanical views of sex and marriage. There’s also the servants ok Keramzin dissaproving of Alina wearing her hair down because she’s meant to be a married woman now.In contrast Aleksander always talks about them ruling together and being equals and Alina is also afraid that he’ll turn her into a monster(which in Western media for female villains means transgressing the boundaries set by the patriarchal society). The implications of these things really makes you go yikes I usually don’t speculate over authors and why they wrote certain things this or that they ay unless I’m doing critical analysis but I feel like LB really has some issues with power especially female one.

i completely agree. the treatment of themes about power and sexuality in the trilogy are a lot more strange and concerning when you consider that they’re about female power and sexuality specifically considering that it’s alina whose interactions with those forces is given the most weight by far.

it's also interesting when you think about how alina's personal progression as an individual (as little as lb allows her) is treated in completely opposite ways by mal and aleksander.

mal says to alina in siege and storm that he wants the old, powerless girl she was back:

whereas aleksander sees her change from the naive young woman he could manipulate into an apt pupil and genuine adversary and admires her for it:

he tells her that she’s stronger than both nikolai and mal, and i’d argue he holds her in higher esteem than just about anyone else in ravka. i’m not implying he’s a perfect feminist because we all know what he decides to do to break her down into something he can control, but it’s very clear that he sees that as a necessity and not a display of masculine control over her as ‘his’ woman. i believe he would have the same attitude if alina had been a man in the same position. (this also ties into my headcanon that the darkling is bi and doesn’t care much about gender because he’s eternal and has seen enough of humanity to know that it’s not a deciding factor in who one is, but that’s a secondary thing.)

and it’s at this moment - where aleksander implies that alina is stronger than both her male love interests - that she says she fears becoming a monster. as you pointed out, monstrosity is often framed as women transgressing the arbitrary rules of patriarchal society, and being stronger than a prince and a soldier would be a perfect example of that. if you also add her ‘unnatural’ grisha power/use of merzost which she is scolded for by baghra, and then the revolutionary politics implied with the possibility of alina choosing to side with aleksander which lb continuously demonises, there’s three examples of alina transgressing those patriarchal rules. not to mention the fact that this scene is much more full of sexual tension than mal and alina’s ‘wedding night’ ever had - also transgressing the rules of female sexuality in patriarchal society as alina uses her allure to gain power over a man (and by god does it work - aleksander begs her to kiss him... and then some).

it’s a shame that lb doesn’t choose to use the idea of alina’s ‘monstrosity’ as a means of exploring non-patriarchal, non-normative attitudes to gender, sexuality, and political/interpersonal power instead of demonising all of those things. she has the perfect opportunity to do it, but leans in exactly the opposite direction by choosing mal as her supposed true love.

[merrysithmas]

The good thing abt Steve and smth ppl are missing in the current discourse is he really did say Fuck America literally every chance he got and criticized the US govt every second he wore the suit and the govt absolutely hated him for it.

Even in the 40s he didnt want to kill anyone "for America", but as a disabled man couldn't fathom not standing up to the eugenicist Nazis. He wasn't politically motivated by nationalism but instead by human compassion. In fact, it is extremely likely he was highly critical of the US govt as a young man preserum given his impoverished life circumstances and constantly failing health. Living in NYC, seeing the shanty towns in Central Park, unable to afford life-saving medicine, watching Bucky and his mother kill themselves to make a nickle, surrounded by the radical leftist art scene in NY as an art student - Steve saw and lived injustice every day. And empathized with people who suffered different social misfortunes than he did (the woman crying in the movie theatre, "I don't like bullies", Peggy suffering sexism) although his personal list was extensive itself.

To him, the shield was always more of a philosophy and never attached to a specific country, which is what made it so easy for him to blow off 117 countries for Bucky, or tear the star from his chest yet defend the world in the vestiges of his armor against Thanos - he was fighting for what was right and not what was dictated by any country or political ideology (which is the main issue in Civil War with him being against the Accords, and one he was extremely well-positioned to understand having been used as a symbol and propaganda against his will many times, and having witnessed the dangers of state-sanctioned violence in WWII and CATWS. Even if Steve's argument was also faulty to an extent, you can absolutely see why he would argue for that perspective).

Steve was as FDR leftist artist in the Great Depression post Crash 1930s, disabled and chronically ill, diminutive and likely targeted by US eugenicits in NYC who vocally campaigned against disabled people being alive in the 30s (saying they should be sterilized or killed), son of an Irish immigrant single mother, lived in historically queer neighborhood of Brooklyn, an artist, and in the MCU coded as bi. He fights for whoever needs him, not for whoever tells him to. He was always highly critical and tongue-in-cheek/tired of the costume, drawing himself as the dancing monkey in CATFA ("Ready to follow 'Captain America' into the jaws of death?" he confides his mockery in Bucky, who heartwarmingly assures him that no, he is following Steve.) Steve continued to question, dog, and make trouble for the US continually after that until he wholeheartedly said Fuck You in CATWS and just dropped the shield (and never picked it up again until he handed it off to Sam, who he was confident could do something meaningful with it that he was not positioned to as a white man).

Steve visibly appears as a bygone era's "perfect man" and outright REJECTS both this supremacist definition and the shield's gatekeeping/the shield itself. Sam visibly appears as an "outsider" to exclusivist and systemically racist systems and yet EMBRACES the shield's potential. They are both radically standing up for the same cause in different ways and this comparison depicts why they are so closely aligned and best friends.

The irony of Steve Rogers as Captain America is hugely important to his character. In many ways, Steve is depicted as a reluctant hero who struggles with the strength of his own moral ideals versus the highly imperfect symbol he dons. This is different from other superheroes who usually self-create their alter egos as symbols of their more perfect, empowered selves.

In contrast, it is Steve's natural hardiness, independence, and righteous outrage in the face of wrongdoing which represents America's best ideals, but distinctly is opposed to its government which directs that he act as its image. As Steve holds the shield we see the image of a person who is critical of the govt for falling short of its principles and simultaneously embodies the ideal qualities that a equitable and free US is supposed to hold. Importantly, and definitively for his character, Steve as Cap shows how wanting the US really is for the goodness it robotically claims to have. And that is why he is important and impactful as Cap, essentially because he is uncomfortable with and critical of the costume.

The status of the suit often does not coincide with his personal beliefs. Yet he wears it to attempt to level up the system he is, for a while, mired in. Steve is not a patriot, not in the common sense of the world, he is instead a patriot of the humanist cause. This puts him on-site for many enemies, including those domestic to him and thus defines him as a hero.

Though his physical appearance suggests that he might wear the suit with a blind nationalist fervor a la John Walker (depicted as a perfect automaton soldier), Steve could not be further from that mindset (a good individualist man). As a now "perfect specimen" poised to be accepted and revered, Steve has the ability to choose an easy life where he is free of the hardships and ostracization he endured preserum. Yet instead, post CACW, Steve chose to continue to stand on the side of progress, the "little guy", to abandon the shield and now finally proudly embrace his pariah status and fight for those pushed aside or deemed unsalvagable or scapegoated (symbolized by Bucky) as he recognizes that while America's rule may benefit some, it still causes other to suffer and struggle (as he once did).

Not to mention, as a meta point, he was crafted as the "perfect man" from a sick, disenfranchised disabled boy who absolutely loathed Nazis by Jewish comic artists to mock the Nazi Aryan ideal - inverting their eugenicist visual image of perfection by empowering someone Nazis would view as worthless to burn their entire evil regime to ash.

He still, today, stands staunchly at odds with far right extremists and fascists in the US today and worldwide. He's the furthest thing from them and he'd have no problem in showing it. Choosing Sam as his successor, proudly, confidently, lovingly, and as a brother in arms who steps back so others can speak for themselves and tell their own stories, Steve shows his cultural and political understanding and his good heart once again - this time as an ally, friend, and a champion of the heroics of others.

[emmikmil]

keep me in your heart for a while

Pairing: Din Djarin x Female!reader

Word count: 6,6K

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Warnings: Mild talk of injuries, a little sad, oral sex (f receiving) unprotected sex (this is fantasy ok IRL wrap that shit up and be SAFE)

Summary: You help Din after a chance encounter near your home. A friends to lovers with fluff, smut, some hurt/comfort and some mild angst. Set before and during season 1 of The Mandalorian.

A/N: This is part of the sl+ discord fic exchange and I wrote this for the amazing and lovely @koskareevesismyqueen   I hope you enjoy!! Also big love to @soyelfuegoquearde for the beta read of my monster fic! Fic title is from the song Keep me in your heart by The Wailin’ Jennys <3

It takes you by surprise to hear blaster fire breaking the tranquil silence as you walk home. You had taken your bi weekly trip to the bustling city close by to stock up on supplies and it was unusual for any person, let alone people with blasters, to be nearby. Where you live is quiet and peaceful, nothing violent has happened in this small corner of the galaxy. Your house was tucked deep in the forest, nobody using this trail but you in your trips back and forth to the city. 

You step off the path slowly to lean against a nearby tree to peer over to your left. The blaster fire had ceased for a moment but it renewed again, only closer this time. You drop down quickly, your heart jumping to your throat as an odd pinging noise rattles the air, like the shots were hitting something metal and a groan echoes throughout the trees. One last shot, then silence settles in the quickly dimming forest.

You take a few moments to breathe and get your heart settled before walking on shaky legs to the path. You have to get home, you can’t dwell on whatever fight has taken place. It’s over and it was best you got home before darkfall. As you continue down the trail, your adrenaline spikes again as you hear shuffling and more groaning. You pause and swivel your head back towards the sound. You had figured with the final shots there was no one left alive. Something inside told you to go, told you someone needed help. You pace for a moment longer, mind clicking into overdrive wondering what you were going to do. With a sigh, you walk off the path again, telling yourself you would just look and see. You doubt you can fix a blaster wound, but maybe your limited knowledge could help.

You make your steps as quiet as possible as you crept to the outskirts of the scene. Before you was a man, with his hands bound in front of him and several more men lay around him. None of them were moving and you assume it wasn’t them making those noises. Rustling to your left makes your gaze snap to another man, a very large armored man.

 A Mandalorian. 

You try in earnest to contain your gasp at the sight. Your eyes grow wide and you unknowingly take a few steps forward. You had grown up on stories about the Mandalorians. Their honor and creed at the forefront of every story about the armoured warriors. They had always fascinated you as a child and now one was right in front of you. He was trying to sit up now, struggling with his leg and holding a hand to his side. Before you could take another step his other hand snapped out, leveling his blaster point blank at you without even looking up.

“No, wait sir please, don’t shoot! I heard blasters and thought someone might be hurt, I just wanted to help!” You hold up your hands for good measure and back away a few steps. He finally looks at you, studying you carefully before slowly lowering his blaster. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. “Can I- Will you let me help you stand up at least?” you ask, still eyeing his blaster wearily.

“Thank you, that would be appreciated.” His reply startles you for some reason. You thought perhaps it was the fact that a Mandalorian was speaking to you in the first place, but really it was that despite the modulator in his helmet making his voice sound tinny, it still sounded so warm. Deep, warm and husky were the best descriptions, the only thoughts flying through your brain as you stare at the sprawled out figure below you. With a small shake to your head, you drop your heavy bag and walk forward to offer up your hand. 

“You’re either very brave or not very bright for doing this-” His own words cut off with a grunt as he stands, leaning more on his right leg. He stumbles a bit before your arms reach out, grasping his forearms to steady him.

“It’s closing in on sundown, it’ll be cold. I didn’t want to leave a helpless person out in the forest alone.” You couldn’t help but huff, annoyed at his words, more so that he was somewhat right in his criticism.

“A helpless person with a blaster?”

“Hey, I only came closer because you’re a Mandalorian! Your people are honorable and you wouldn’t hurt an innocent person...right?” You hate the hesitancy in your voice, how it shakes a little in the pause before you finish your sentence. You had assumed, once he assessed you were not a threat, that the man in armor wouldn’t cause you any harm. Before you can doubt yourself or start to run, he lays a hand down gently on your shoulder.

“I won’t hurt you.” His voice, while still laced in pain, was soft and comforting, soothing any panic starting to swell in you. “If you could just help me to my ship, I can patch up before heading out.” You nod and gently take his arm to place it around your shoulders, slowly starting to lead him towards the path.

“Oh, what about the uh…” you point behind you to the bounty still on the forest floor before leaning down, heaving your bag to settle on your back before adjusting the Mandalorians arm back around your shoulders.

“Leave it, I’ll come back for them in the morning.” With that, you both start towards his ship in silence, which was parked not too far away from your own home. You had heard something late the night before, chalking it up to a dream and not paying much attention to it. That had to have been when he landed. You pause again for him to catch his breath, his movements getting more lethargic, his ankle dragging worse and worse.

“How much farther is your ship again Mandalorian?” you ask while steadying his form. It was nearly black out now, the only light visible was the stars above and the small twinkle of light coming from the small lamp in your window.

“It’s just there,” he points towards the right ”just past that treeline, down the hill. Another twenty minute walk.” you bark out a laugh and pivot him back to the left.

“No way, neither of us can last that long, especially in the dark. My house is right here, I can patch you up and you can stay with me for the night. No arguing” The last bit spoken quickly when you hear him take a breath to respond. 

You already knew he was quiet and independent, and somewhat stubborn, but you were not helping this man limp another twenty minutes. You guide him up the small path to your door, leaving his side to open it and gesture him to come inside, He limps in and stands in the middle of the room, watching as you bounce around the room, putting your supplies down on the table and rummaging in a drawer in the kitchen for your small medkit. You turn back and bite your lip in thought, glancing between the large Mandalorian and the now comically sized couch and armchair behind him.

“Go through that door, my bed will be easier for me to patch you up on.” You turn, setting water to boil for some tea before following him back to your room. “You have to take off some of that armor for me to take a look…” you flush slightly as he sits rigidly on the side of your bed. You turn away fiddling with the medkit, opening it, taking out some gauze and bacta spray as the sound of armor piling up on your floor echoes around the quiet house. You turn back around as he clears his throat.

The armor covering his leg, stomach, and chest were gone leaving only his worn pants and shirt underneath. The armor piled up in the corner along with both of his boots. You gulp, shaking your head as you bend to examine his ankle. Not broken to his luck, just twisted and swollen. The graze on his side from the blaster fire didn’t look too bad either. To fill the silence as you work you half-heartedly ask the story about this bounty. To your surprise, the Mandalorian, or Mando at his request, told the story of the bounty. How it had only become trouble when several of his crooked buddies came to “rescue” their friend, but ended in all of them dying in the quick battle. You both finish around the same time and he murmurs a quiet thanks as you clean up. You gently touch his shoulder as he goes to sit up.

“Hey now Mando, keep off that ankle. You may hurt it worse moving it more tonight. You’re more than welcome to stay here tonight. I’m making tea now and I’ll bring you some food.”

“You don’t have to go to the trouble” he begins to argue, just like you knew he would, and that thought makes you smile.

“I don’t mind. It’s nice to have company and...it’s cool to meet a Mandalorian. I grew up on stories about you, so-” you shrug at that, shuffling your feet before moving to the door ”besides, the bacta needs to work on that ankle. Should be fine by morning.” you threw over your shoulder before scurrying to the now boiling water. You could have sworn you heard a soft laugh but push that thought away, instead focusing on a small plate of food and tea for Mando.

-------

He sits in the cockpit of the Razor Crest, leaning his head back for a moment to watch the morning light break through the horizon. He hadn’t slept a wink the night before, too on edge to rest his body how he needed to. The adrenaline of the day before from the ambush hadn’t faded as it normal did. Being hurt, feeling almost helpless as he heard a figure walk toward him. He is glad now he didn’t shoot first like he normally did. He won’t admit to being startled by this woman in the middle of forest, walking right onto a grizzly scene wanting to do nothing but help the person who was injured. It left his guard up, and he nearly rejected her, but that tree root twisted his ankle something fierce, and he was not looking forward to crawling back to his ship in the dark. 

Din knew he wasn’t the most gracious guest with his stubbornness and attitude but she didn’t even bat an eye. He hopes the credits he left on her table  would be enough to pay for the supplies she wasted on him. As he takes off, heading to take the now frozen body back to Nevarro, he finally allows his body to relax in his comfort space. He had seen very little kindness in his adult life, specifically kindness where some kind of reward wasn’t expected in return. Try as he might to ignore his exchange with the woman, images and conversation from the night before dance around in his head. He wonders when, if ever, they will fade.

-------

You admit you had been just a little disappointed that he had left so early, and he had been so incredibly silent. You had startled awake from the nest you’d made in your cozy chair well into the late morning. You had walked to your table to see his dishes from the night before, his empty tea cup and his plate that you had put bread and cheese on. You couldn’t help but laugh at the crusts, now incredibly stale, still left on the plate. The big, strong, and snarky Mandalorian didn’t like the bread crusts. Your laugh died  on your tongue as the light hit the large pile of credits stacked just behind the dishes. You shifted everything around, hoping he had left a note or explanation for the credits, but there was none to be found. 

Your mind drifts to him often in the next several weeks. Every time you use the credits you thought of him. You spent them to restock your med kit, and even treat yourself to some books you had been eyeing for too long now. Sometimes at night, curled in your chair by the fire with your new books your mind would wander. Mostly you wonder if he thought about you, if his own mind drifts to the quiet night you two had shared. It hadn’t been much. After patching him up you brought him some food and tea, slinking away with heat flooding your face when you realized he couldn’t take off his helmet in front of you. You two talked a bit later that night, when you came to check his ankle before bed. He had been quiet and watchful of every move you made. He did answer the few questions about his creed that you just couldn’t help but ask. You wish now that you had asked more, wanting to hear his voice more, but all you could do was commit the moments to memory, a tale to tell your future children of how you saved a real Mandalorian. 

Perhaps that is why you were so gobsmacked when said Mandalorian walked up to you several weeks later as you tend to the garden. His shadow engulfing your frame as you crouch, urging the crooked plant to stand upright.

“Are you...here for a bounty or something? I-shit i’m sorry that was rude.” You can’t help but smile as his shoulders shook under the armor as you fidget with your gloves.

“Had to stop and get supplies. Figured I would come see if you’ve saved any other strangers in the forest.” you scoff at his teasing tone, standing up to brush the dirt off your legs.

“I did actually, they even ate the crusts on their bread, unlike the last guy.” Your glare and cocky smirk  melt away to a large smile as the Mandalorian barks out a real genuine laugh. “Come on now Mando, I’ll put on some tea.” 

This interaction happens time and time again, he would stop by every month or so on his way to turn in bounties. After a few visits he brought you different teas he would find in markets around the galaxy, or even a book he thought you would like. The air between you two was easy, and you could tell he was more and more comfortable, having no problem lounging by the fire listening to your rattle on about the book you were reading or what your friends had been up to in the city. He never stayed overnight at your house again, but he would stay late sometimes and those were your favorite times. 

You two would sit close and talk more seriously, leaving your usual joking and playful banter to die out with the sunlight. He told you of his parents, his childhood, his early days when he was reckless and wild. In turn you shared your secrets, troubles and your dreams. Mando may not be the most talkative during some visits but he was always so attentive, soaking up every word you said. It was one of those moments where he first called you cyare instead of your name. As you looked at him confused, he confessed, quite nervously in fact, that it meant friend in mando’a and your heart swelled. You knew he was alone a lot of the time and it sent warmth  to flood your body knowing that he considered you a friend, a real friend. 

Before you knew it, it had been over a year since you two had first met. You never quite knew when he would arrive, but he did each time, gift in hand asking if you had picked up any more wayward strangers and each time you would accept his present and roll your eyes as he laughs. You believe it was in these moments, in the playful jabs, the afternoons spent talking, that you felt the joy of friendship blossom into a yearning unlike anything you've ever felt. It made you happy to be his friend, even if it stings with the wish to be more than that. So you took each visit and savored the moments,

This latest visit was on the shorter side, with him being behind from hunting someone down and he needed to turn them in ASAP. Yet  he still stopped in to see you, handing you more of your newfound favorite tea. Time went by fast as you talk and catch up and soon enough he stands, heading for your door before turning to look at you.

"Be safe cyare, don't bring home any strangers." You roll your eyes playfully like always

"You too big guy, watch out for those tree roots on your way out!" Your giggle echoes behind you as he dramatically flings your door open and strolls out to his ship. You follow and wave from your doorway as he leaves, only going inside as you see him fly away. Your heart aches but your usual goodbyes always soften the blow of his absence, the nicknames and inside jokes bringing a smile to your face,

You just wished that you savored that last visit more, wished it had been longer. That last goodbye echoed in your mind as the next month comes and goes with no sign of Mando. Then two months, then three pass with nothing. His voice bounced in your mind, echoing in the silent nights. You knew how dangerous his job was, had seen a small portion of it first hand, but you never questioned the possibility of him just being...gone. 

You had no way of communicating with him, knew of nobody else he knew. Asking around the town was hopeless, and with every month that passed, the more your heart cracked open.  By the sixth month you just stopped hoping, stopped imagining him walking through your doorway. You continued with life, work, friends, and shopping. Before you always enjoyed taking walks through the forest, but now it left such an ache in your chest, passing the spot near your home where you first met him. Going back and forth to the city was now a dreaded task that you put off as long as possible.

This is where you find yourself now, hurrying past that area with your head down, swallowing down all your emotions. Your only focus right now was to get in the house, put your items away and lose yourself in a book to unwind. You repeat this like a mantra in your mind, focusing so heavily on it that hearing your name almost makes you stumble backwards. Your head snaps up, eyes widening as you take in the sight of Mando walking towards you. The moment feels like it’s in slow motion, feeling so dreamlike and it's not until he touches your face with his gloved hand that the spell breaks. With a gasping sob you throw yourself into his body, holding him for dear life and whimpering out his name as you try to catch your breath.

"Oh cyare, I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I could."  He held you right to his chest as he soothes your hair back. He kept murmuring apologies softly in your ear as your cries finally dwelled and you two stand like this, clinging to each other in relief, only breaking away when a soft coo sounds from somewhere behind Mando. You sniffle and peek behind his body, seeing an orb floating midair with a small bundle inside. You look between the orb and Mando before stepping around him and walking forward. Sitting up inside the orb was the cutest little green baby staring up at you.

“Well hi there little one.” you say as you bend down to be at eye level with the baby. He stares at you with his large dark eyes before making another cooing sound and holding his tiny arms out to you. You glance back at Mando who nods, and you carefully nestle the baby in the crook of your arm, being careful of the obnoxiously big ears that now wiggle as he smiles up at you. The baby’s smile widens and he makes an almost purring sound as Mando walks up, placing one hand on your lower back and the other to pat the baby’s head with gentle affection. You smile as you look up at Mando. “Seems like you’re the one picking up strangers now, huh?” The low laugh Mando makes sets your heart leaping from your chest. You must be making a face because he slowly starts to rub circles into your back.

“It’s a long story, but the kid and I can stay awhile If...that’s alright with you?” He seems nervous and hesitant asking this, but on instinct you grab his hand and pull him towards your front door,

“I’ve got all the time in the world Mando. I’ll make tea and food while you talk.”

For the rest of the afternoon and early evening Mando tells you everything that happened with this small bounty, his change of heart, the harrowing close encounters and the overall life on the run these two had endured. While it hurt knowing how hard Mando pushed and fought to keep them safe, it made you happy that he wasn’t alone. It was easy to see how close they had grown, how much of a protective father he has become over this magically inclined green baby. 

The baby quickly attaches to you, eating up every ounce of food you offer him, and you give Mando a knowing look as the baby eats every piece of bread, even the crust. As darkness falls, the baby is put to bed, easily going down from his busy afternoon and silence takes over. Mando fidgets, seeming uncomfortable much like his first visit here and it sets you on edge.

After a while he finally breaks the silence. “I’m sorry again, you know it wasn’t safe to come here before. I couldn’t bring any danger to you. I know you were lonely-”

“Wait, wait. Lonely? You think I was upset because I had been lonely?” Your harsh tone cutting him off made Mando pause and shake his head.

“That’s not what i meant cyare-” You stand up abruptly, shaking your head at him, cutting off his words again

“I thought you were dead. This entire time Mando. I thought all I would ever have are the memories of our stories, our jokes, that your laugh would haunt my dreams. Don’t get me started on that damn nickname you call me,” you stop yourself before you wake the baby and try to compose yourself. Your hand goes to your heart, almost shielding it before you force yourself to take a breath and look Mando straight on. “This wasn’t a friend leaving with no contact for months. It meant so much more- you mean so much more.” 

Your confession hangs there between the two of you, making the air so thick in its resounding silence that you turn away, but a gentle hold on your wrist stops you from moving away. At his whisper of your name you turn, seeing him stand up slowly.

“Cyare means beloved.”

Those three words knock every ounce of air out of you and you blink away tears as you stare at him in wonder. “Mando does that...mean that you-”

“Yes, for a long time now.” He steps forward and bends his head, bringing your foreheads to touch. You then take hold of either side of his helmet, bringing him down even more so that you press your lips to his forehead. After he lets out a shaky exhale he asks quietly “Do you trust me?”

Without even an ounce of hesitation, you answer “Yes, absolutely I trust you.”

He gently takes your hand and  leads you back to your bedroom. He pushes the door open and closes it as you walk in. You hope he can't hear how loud you swallow as he closes the curtains, blocking out the moonlight and plunging the room in complete darkness.

The next moments would be engraved into your mind for the rest of your days. A gentle hiss filled the room before you felt hot air near your face. “Can I kiss you cyare?” His lips are so close to yours and you shiver as your mind struggles to catch up. With a hitch in your breath you realize…

His helmet. He took off his helmet.

With that realization you surge forward, pressing your lips to his and throwing your hands up and forward to bury themselves in his hair. Mando lets out a small gasp at the contact, the true first bit of touch he’s felt on his face, and you take the opportunity to gently slide your tongue inside his mouth; Deepening the kiss makes both of your brains go fuzzy and it's a sloppy and beautiful tangle of lips and tongues. You have no idea how long you two stand there and kiss, learning and exploring each other’s mouths, but you wish with every bit of your heart that this moment, this feeling, everything that you’re experiencing with him will never end.

However it does have to end, and you break apart to catch your breath, noses touching as you both pant. Mando takes no time however, and presses wet kisses all over your face, seeming to not want to keep his lips off of you. You giggle at his affection, pulling him closer to slow his movements, fumbling in the dark to find his lips as you kiss him sweetly before pulling away once more. “Let's catch our breath a bit, Mando.” He’s so close to you, you can feel his lips turn up into a small smile. 

"Sorry, got carried away there. I've never…" At his pause you want to smack yourself, remembering just how important this was. To take his helmet off to kiss you, even in the dark? You wonder exactly how inexperienced he is but his voice returns once more. "I don't regret it, this was-this was worth waiting for."

One of your hands leaves his hair and you cup his cheek, feeling the slight stubble beneath your palm. "Oh Mando, I-"

"Din. My name's Din. You can use it if...you'd like to." 

You felt his jaw shake under your palm, could damn near taste his nervousness and that just wouldn't do. You whisper his name against his lips before diving back into his kisses. At this his resolve seems to snap and his hands tentatively start to wander from their place on your waist, one tracing up and down your spine while the other grips your hip.

You slowly start to walk him backward towards your bed, but Din surprises you as he flips you two around and falls back, sending you both tumbling onto the bed. The movement was so quick and unexpected you couldn’t help but let out a giggle as you cuddle up to him and continue to press kisses on his lips, the tip of his nose, and back to nip at his jaw. That contentment you both had just standing and kissing in your room fades as his body settles next to yours. You lay on your sides facing each other, sharing kisses wherever you could reach. 

Before things could go further, you had a burning question to ask. "Din we can just do this. I don't want to pressure you into more, especially if this is your first time and-"

His laugh was somehow even more enchanting outside of the helmet and butterflies erupt in your chest before bursting into flames as he speaks. "I meant I had never kissed before, I have done...other things before, just with the helmet on."

You can't help but nuzzle his nose with affection before whispering "I want this if you do Din." The moment his pleas left his mouth you threw your leg over his hip and try to grind down on him as you pull him into a searing kiss.

He sighs into the kiss before he pulls away and starts tearing away his armor and clothes. At least that is what you assume he's doing by the dull thuds and clanks and muttered curses. You take the hint too, quickly peeling off your clothes. As you finish you feel his bare hand reach for you and he pulls you back into him, throwing your leg over his now bare hip and putting his lips back onto yours.

This lit a fire in you, unlike anything you’ve known. You wanted him now, needed all of him or else flames would consume every part of you. It took you a moment to realize the high-pitched whine you heard didn’t come from Din. He was currently whispering your name with his hand gripping your hip, stilling your hips.

“I just need, please I just-let me kiss you. I want to taste you, please.” he whispers against your lips and the desperate sound of his voice breaks through the kiss driven lust inside your brain. You remember with a jolt that he’s never kissed anyone, never tasted anyone before,and you take in a shaky breath before rolling onto your back. You couldn’t name what exactly that swell of emotions was inside you as he began to place kisses over your face and down your neck. Knowing that you are the first person he’s ever wanted or trusted to kiss brings a flood of warmth to your chest. That warmth however quickly rushed down to your abdomen as Din licks the hollow of your throat and presses a small kiss there. He takes his time as he kisses down over your heart and further to your breasts

He spends longer there than you expect, very clearly enjoying the feel of them in his hands as he massages and kisses every inch of them. He’s sucked more bruises on your breast than anything but you have no heart to complain. He only stops when you finally beg him to move, and he mutters a quick apology as he kisses and licks to your stomach. His hands move to your knees and prys your thighs apart. As he settles lower to place kisses along your inner thigh he stops. You realize with a rush of heat to your face, just how wet your thighs had become. You had been rubbing them together trying to find any relief as he devoured every inch of your breasts and you didn’t realize just how wet it made you. You suck in a breath as you feel Din’s fingers lightly trace over your slit and he groans as realization also settles in for him.

“We’ve barely...I haven’t even touched you here and you’re already this wet for me?” you can’t help but let out a breathless laugh at his voice, which sounds like he is in complete awe of you. Before you can reply his head dips down, licking your arousal from your thighs. He takes great care in licking both thighs clean and you nearly cry in relief when he licks from your entrance to your clit in one slow movement. You can feel his hands shake as he holds your thighs apart and slowly works you over with his tongue. 

You know Din has never done this before, so you let him explore you like this, enjoying the sensations of his mouth all over your pussy. His unsure kisses around your lips, the long licks up your slit gave way to him being more confident with your hums and gasps of approval urging him forward. While it feels amazing, you need more, so you take his hair in your hand and with a slight tug, you get his attention.

“Up here, right here at my clit just-” you let out a choked out gasp as he licks right where you need it. “There Din, just suck there and- and put your fingers inside me, just one to start.” Din was all too eager to please you and gently sucks on your clit while he pushes one of his thick fingers inside you. You kept one hand twisted around his hair and the other to cover your mouth from the very loud moans now tumbling out. With a particularly harsh suckle, you gripped his hair even more, pushing him forward as your hips lift to grind down onto his face. The vibrations from Din groaning into your heat only magnifies the feeling and you melt, doing nothing but writhe and muffling your gasps and moans. As you feel a second finger breach you to join the first, his other hand curling around your wrist near your mouth. You close your lips to try and keep quiet as Din gently pulls your hand down to the mattress and intertwines your fingers together.

“I want to hear you, please, I want to listen to you fall apart.” His lips barely leave you, his warm breath coming out in pants over your sensitive clit, the puffs of air sending goosebumps down your whole body. With that, he returned to licking, sucking, and even biting a little, and soon enough, you did exactly as he asked. You didn’t hold back the sounds and moans spewing from your mouth and you damn near scream his name as a third finger entered you just as your orgasm hit. His fingers never let up their steady rhythm, only slowing when your body releases from its rigid state and you melt into the blankets beneath you. You twitch and sigh as you feel his fingers leave you and his tongue replaces them, gently licking you, drinking up every bit of your release.

As your breathing slows back to normal, you feel Din shift between your thighs, and you hear him grunt as a slick sound fills the room. The heat that melted from your body with your orgasm came back tenfold when you realize those slick sounds were Din stroking his cock. Stroking himself with the hand that was just moments ago finger fucking you, making his cock slick and preparing to enter you.  Your every thought was lost in a lusty haze that you didn’t realize you began to murmur the word please over and over again, Din leans over you, pressing his lips to yours softly to quiet you down.

“Are you ok? You want to keep going?” His questions were so sincere, it was made funnier when you realize the fingers cupping your cheek were the same that were buried inside you and stroking his cock only moments before. Grinning, you push forward, kissing the edge of his mouth softly before wrapping your legs around his waist to guide him to fit perfectly between your open thighs.

“Yes, I’m good, please let’s keep going.” With that Din seals his lips to yours and shifts, slowly pressing inside you. You only broke the kiss when Din finally bottomed out, parting to both groan as your walls clenched around him. His thick cock stretches you just enough to almost be painful before it fades out into pure bliss as he grinds into you. You cling to his back as he starts to move. He keeps his thrusts shallow and deep, keeping himself buried in you as much as possible. All you can do is hold on for dear life as he steadily fucks you deeper into the mattress. His lips never leave your skin, mostly he keeps them on your lips to swallow down every gasp you let out. From this angle, his pubic hair was giving just the smallest bit of friction to your clit and while it feels good, you need a new angle. With every bit of force you can muster you clamp your thighs around him and roll the both of you over so you loom over him.

“Was that not good? Was I-" you cut off the questions  with a mess of a kiss, and even if he can't see you, you gave him the biggest grin.

"Wanted to try something new. I can't let you always be in control Din, you have to learn to share." And with that you grind down and circle your hips, grinning even more at the gasp and slew of curses that escaped his lips. You set a faster past than before,  the fire building inside was growing stronger with each second. Next time you tell yourself, next time you two will take it slow. Right now all that matters is the burning in your belly, the chills crawling up your spine, and Din moaning your name into the dark room.

It seems it is Din’s turn, his patience snapping, he moves his iron grip on your hips to your ass, gripping them as he slams you down onto him as he thrusts up. This sucks every bit of air from your lungs and you fall forward, bracing yourself on his chest as he picks up the pace. Just as your breath returns to you and you moan, the air whooshes back out of your lungs as Din spits out through clenched teeth. “That’s my good girl, I knew you could take my cock so well. So. Fucking. Well.” Each of his last words were punctuated by bone rattling thrusts and you scream into his chest before sitting up, prying one of Din’s hands off your ass, bringing it to your clit. He takes the hint and swirls tight and fast circles around you and it is just what you need. With a broken cry you fall apart, collapsing back onto his chest and groaning into his shoulder. Din holds you close and meets his end after a few more thrusts, clutching your back and burying his face into your hair. You two lie there tangled together until you can catch your breaths. Eventually you lean up and you giggle as you try and fail to find his lips. He chuckles too as your lips find his cheek and chin before finally pressing against his lips. You kiss lazily like this, basking in the afterglow; tongues tangling, your hands twisted in his hair, and his nails slowly tracing lines up and down your back.

Din is the first to pull away, rolling you both over to the side before he starts to pull away.

“No, stay” you mumble groggily, the emotions and actions of the day weighing heavily on your now sated body.

“I’ll be back, we need to clean up.” he huffs as you whine and paw at his body, but Din easily gives in, letting you win this battle. He gladly lets you position him back down, lying flat on the bed as you cuddle into his chest.

“Clean later, just hold me for a bit.” He kisses your forehead and you hum in contentment. As your body falls deeper into relaxing, sleep slowly taking over, you hear him speak quietly, lips till pressed to your head.

“Good night cyar'ika.” 

This rouses you from your sleepy state enough to ask, “that one doesn’t mean friend, right?” You smile as you feel his body shake beneath you as he laughs.

“No, it doesn’t mean friend. Good night Darling.” 

You both fall asleep with smiles on your faces and hearts fuller than either of you even knew possible.

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[carinyms]

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

[lazarus-lazuli]

Loki and Sylvie aren’t endgame and here’s why:

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OBVIOUSLY)

The TL;DR version: The director herself confirmed that their relationship is not going to be romantic. I could literally just leave it at that. Please calm down and stop clogging the tag with outraged posts about something that’s not even happening, thank you.

But I also want to argue that the episode itself makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that they’re not gonna be a couple. Hit the read more to learn why I think that. Or don’t, honestly the fact the director confirmed this should be enough to assuage you, I’m just actively choosing to be annoying at this point.

If you pay attention to the text of the episode, it’s pretty clear that no, Loki and Sylvie aren’t getting together. Heteronormativity in media may have corrupted us enough to jump to that conclusion (because in most shows a man and woman interacting for five or more minutes in a meaningful way = romance), but I don’t think that was the writers’ intention. Hell, if anything, the episode makes a stronger argument for Mobius and Loki getting together which I’ll touch on a bit as well. And while I do ship them I don’t think they’ll be endgame either since Disney is incredibly fucking homophobic and we’re lucky we even got bi Loki; the Pacific Ocean will be a desert before we get to see him with another man. 

So a few ways the episode told us that Sylvie and Loki aren’t gonna get together:

1) Ravonna and Mobius have a VERY important conversation in her office, not just in the sense of Mobius realizing “Oh shit I’ve been lied to”, but in the sense that she talks about their relationship. She makes a point to define their relationship as a friendship several times, while also making it clear that they have a deep emotional connection to each other - one that transcends time and space. It’s a type of relationship that often gets skewed as romantic when we’re talking about tropes, but no, in their case it’s set in stone that their relationship is completely platonic. Character wise the whole thing gets thrown away since she was very much onto him and proceeds to stab him in the back minutes later, but writing wise it was a very important point they were trying to make to the audience. Like, it was important both in universe and for the audience but for different reasons, if that makes sense. Since they established this strong connection between Loki and Sylvie at the very beginning of the episode - strong enough to cause a fucking Nexus Event - they also wanted to sprinkle in the idea that a strong connection does not necessarily equal a romantic one.

2) The main thing people took away from the conversation between Loki and Mobius was that Mobius was jealous - which, yeah, that’s valid and I agree. I mean he was deadass acting like a scorned boyfriend who just caught his partner cheating on him. But another big takeaway that people need was not only did the show itself confirm that Sylvie x Loki is gross (I mean for God’s sake they’re the exact same person; Sylvie was literally confirmed to just be the AFAB version of him IN THE COLD OPENING), but the whole idea of them being together all came from Mobius. All we know is that Loki cares for her - the feelings he’s experiencing are confusing for him because he’s a loner who hasn’t had any friends at all until Mobius and her came along. The one who’s defining those feelings by insisting they must be romantic is Mobius. This is to get under Loki’s skin because he is jealous. Loki never once gives into the idea of their relationship being romantic, even when Mobius lies about Sylvie being pruned just to get a reaction. Loki may not know EXACTLY how he feels since it’s all new to him, but even he’s not obtuse enough to think that he’s actually falling in love with himself. Mobius is just angry at Loki in this scene for multiple reasons, thus all of the romantic interpretation falls on his shoulders. He’s literally just jumping to conclusions. 

Also when he says Sylvie got pruned Loki just gets visibly upset for a moment, but when Mobius himself gets pruned Loki CRIES and is fucked up about it to the point that even Sylvie picks up on it. So make of that what you will (I will make of that that Loki and Mobius are IN LOVE). 

3) Final point: people got REALLY IN THEIR FEELINGS about the scene where Loki tries to confess to Sylvie. And yeah at first glance, it is somewhat set up like a romantic scene - someone actually posted “what in the Y/N x Loki is this” and honestly I had to laugh at that one because I agree it kind of has that vibe, especially since he starts the whole thing off by saying he’s new to feeling the way he does. But based on everything we know about them and everything that happened up until that point of the episode, LOKI IS VERY MUCH NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR HER. His feelings for sure, but not necessarily romantic ones. He even has his hands on her shoulders - a gesture of affection, but not one that can be read as exclusively romantic. He’s just grabbing her attention, holding her there (since she does seem freaked out - maybe in her mind she thinks he’s about to confess his love, which is actually pretty funny). While there may be a misunderstanding on the part of the characters, I think the text itself makes it pretty clear that no, Loki is not in love with this woman. He ultimately just wants to tell her he cares about her and wants to stick with her through whatever happens; that they’ll make it through together. If you’re cynical you can be like “It was at the very least set up to LOOK romantic to bait the audience” and yeah, I see it too. That’s completely possible. Granted, instead of baiting people with a “OOO, what’s he gonna say?!”, it more so rubbed salt in the wounds of the people who have been queerbaited by TV shows in the past because all they could see was “Bi Man Falls for His Female Self Then Dies” which is bad so I can’t blame them for being upset. But given the context of the show it’s also very much not what happened. 

And hey, I’m just as affected by queerbaiting - I was a Magician’s fan for fuck’s sake. I know queerbaiting when I see it and as far as I’m concerned, if there’s any queerbaiting in this show, it is NOT coming from the interpretation of Loki literally wanting to fuck himself. We will be donning our clown wigs and big red noses for a different reason (that reason involving Disney being Disney). If you’re choosing to be optimistic about the possibility of Loki and Mobius getting together, I fucking commend you and hope you’re right. It would be really amazing and satisfying if they did. I’m not holding my breath, though. Sadly just because Loki x Sylvie won’t be a thing doesn’t mean Loki x Mobius will be, either.

Anyway, I hope this explanation helped to clear up the fact that no, Marvel is not advocating for selfcest and never was. This isn’t Johnny Test. I think it’s good to be critical of Disney and Marvel because they’re both very flawed, but that requires actually watching the content instead of making surface level assumptions based on what you saw at first glance, you know?

[sunnysaylorboy]

my opinion on/a surprisingly passionate defense of Mulan (2020) (SPOILERS)

I’ve seen a lot of ppl ragging on the new Mulan for so many reasons, so I will go over why these (mostly) are stupid reasons and why I love the new movie.

1. Liu Yifei supporting the Hong Kong police. Now this is not a stupid reason, this is valid. I am an East Asian studies major, and as much as I love Disney, when I first heard the news I knew I could not watch Mulan (2020) in good conscience. It went against everything I have learned in my studies, and everything I believe. However, now I am almost positive Liu Yifei was forced to make those comments- I've seen several sources saying so recently. You can look for these sources on your own, because this isn’t the whole point of my post, but I think it's true. A movie about a woman defying her government and social expectations of the time? Hong Kong citizens could absolutely use her as a symbol for protesting against China. It makes sense that the government would take preventative measures before this could happen. But anyways, I was not planning on watching Mulan (2020) until I found out that what she said was most likely fake/forced.

2. The removal of Mushu. Yes, I too miss Mushu but I completely understand why they did that. A lot of ppl make these sort of complaints about the live action remakes not using humor in the same way as the original, but that’s bc it doesn’t translate well. Humor in animated movies is exaggerated or silly, and it works in that medium but if you do the exact same in a live action film, it will come off as too slapstick. Think Will Ferrell in Elf (still a good movie). Mushu’s whole character is based off of this humor that appeals more to kids, and it would have really made the dialogue with him super cringey. and I know if they made him a more serious supportive character people would've complained about that too, so I understand why they did it.

3. The removal of Li Shang. I miss our bisexual boy too, but I actually think they did a really great job with the new guy Honghui. The directors removed Li Shang because he is in a sense, Mulan’s boss, and they felt that it was too much like the #MeToo movement, which I applaud. At first I was upset that supposedly this new character would be a jerk to Mulan until he found out she was a girl, but that's not what happened in the film fortunately. Honghui and Mulan start off on the wrong foot but they grow as comrades and sort-of friends, and Honghui is the first to stick by Mulan’s side when she reveals who she is. Even if there aren’t as many signals of him being bi, I think they progressed their relationship nicely. (I was sorta hoping for a kiss at the end though).

4. Mulan’s “chi.” Apparently people do not like that Mulan already has a sort of warrior streak inside of her already, as opposed to the 1998 version where she struggles to get used to the army. I think this is an overgeneralization. Mulan does struggle to become a soldier, as we can see in the training montage. Similar to the pole and the arrow at the top, she cannot reach the top of the mountain carrying the buckets with her arms outstretched like everyone else at first- then when she manages to do it, she knows she has proven herself. Plus, I like that they gave her more character. We don’t see any of Mulan’s childhood years in the original, so it is a little hard to understand why she is such an outcast. She only had one incident with the matchmaker and suddenly she is questioning her identity. But the 2020 version establishes that Mulan has been different from the start and everyone has known it since then. It makes it more believable that she brings dishonor on her family so easily. And just because she has strong chi doesn’t necessarily mean she is already a warrior. She is told to hide her chi as a child, and she does not tap into it easily- her commanding officers can sense something is holding her back. She is special, yes, but she isn’t “the chosen one.” She still works hard and she still relies a lot on her strategy instead of brute force just like in the animated version.

5. Lack of musical numbers. I do miss the musical numbers. But they did well with incorporating the musical themes from the original into the movie. The little “Honor to Us All” theme playing while she gets ready for the matchmaker? Perfect. The bit of “Reflection” playing when she reaches the top of mountain? Beautiful. And “Reflection” playing at the end when she is recognized as a hero? I was bawling. Also, this isn’t the first remake that Disney hasn’t made as a musical- the 2015 Cinderella did not include “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” (except in the credits like Mulan did), or “Bibbidi-Bobbido-Boo,” or “So This is Love.” I know that Cinderella is an older movie and may not be as beloved to this generation as Mulan, but those song are still incredibly iconic to the Disney brand and I didn't see anyone complaining about those songs being removed. Idk, I don’t think it’s a big enough deal to be upset over it, especially because they included instrumentals of the songs for the live-action version.

6. The addition of the witch. I can’t believe people are complaining about the personification of the hawk from the first movie- seriously, watch the remake and you’ll see how great Xian Liang’s character is. I love the parallels drawn between her and Mulan. Despite fighting for opposite sides, she sees herself in Mulan, and Mulan sees how she might end up if she had chosen the route of evil. I think they did it wonderfully and I’m definitely not gay for Gong Li...

7. The cost. This one, I understand. $30 is a lot to pay for a movie, but I get it because they’re losing money from not going to theaters for a few months. I paid the $30 because I felt like I had waited long enough to see it, I was foaming at the mouth the night of its release, and I had $30 I was willing to spend on it. Ofc Disney is a multi-million dollar company, so I don’t begrudge anyone pirating it bc screw capitalism.

I just had to get this off my chest because so many criticisms of this film seem so unjustified, weak, or deliberately negative. I swear, not just with Mulan, I see so many people who hate the live-action remakes- it’s like they’re trying to find things to hate about them, and I'm frankly getting sick of it. Like damn bitch why you gotta be so negative about everything?? The acting is great, the music is phenomenal and timeless, the costumes are so extravagant, the action sequences make you hold your breath in anticipation... y'all will find anything to whine about and I'm TIRED. And it seems like some of y'all are purposefully ignoring WHY they made these changes. These changes were made to adhere to the Legend of Mulan more closely, to make up for some of the racial insensitivity/cultural inaccuracies in the original, and to appeal to their Asian audience. the 1998 version is a VERY Americanized way to tell they story- so stop complaining, you got “your version” that appeals to you.

Some things I loved were

1. Mulan’s sister. It’s not often we see Disney princesses with siblings. Even though she didn’t have much screen time, I loved Xiu and the relationship she had with Mulan.

2. The phoenix symbolism. In Mulan (1998), there is heavy dragon symbolism as Mulan is preparing to run away to the army. This insinuates that Mulan is the dragon, the protector of the family, and that is why the Great Stone Dragon doesn’t awaken later. In this version, she is instead guarded and represented by a phoenix. In Chinese mythology (correct me if I'm wrong), the phoenix stands for yin and yang, harmony and is often the female counterpart to the dragon. The wings specifically represent duty, which is why the wings of the phoenix spread behind Mulan when she saves the emperor singlehandedly. Though I don’t know if they intended this, in Greek mythology the phoenix is a symbol of death and rebirth. Mulan is reborn again as Hua Jun, but ultimately in this version she is not discovered as a girl, she chooses to fight as one. The moment she does, “Hua Jun died, and Mulan was born again,” as she sees the phoenix once more. Mulan is the phoenix, and she brings harmony after defeating the Rourans. It’s beautiful.

3. The avalanche scene. A lot of the battle scene was different, but I loved that they kept in the avalanche from the original. Mulan’s planning in this one shows how big her brain is, and how well her strategy works.

4. Xian Liang and Honghui. As I already mentioned, I really loved how they portrayed these characters.

5. The fight scenes. God they really got the perfect actress to play Mulan. Liu Yifei leaning back to avoid an arrow from a Rouran? Impeccable. Mulan’s display of her techniques when she and Honghui get into it when they’re supposed to be practicing? So cool. 

All in all, I loved this movie just like I love all of the other Disney princess live-action remakes. Disney obviously spent a lot of money on the action sequences, the costumes, the backgrounds, the historical accuracies, the casting, the storyline, everything is amazing. I will definitely be watching again.

[redinkofshame]

Some late night ramblings Re: gender and toddlers bc I can't sleep.

I mentioned a while back that my kid's pediatrician asked if he could tell boys from girls and how much it upset me, like, can you?? (<-- I regret not saying it. I should have.) At the time I said no, he thinks everyone is a boy.

I soon realized I was wrong; he doesn't think everyone is a boy, he just only knows/uses he/him pronouns. Boys are he/him, girls are he/him, inanimate objects are he/him. I've been working on it with him every time he gets it wrong (but it's not working at all)

Ignoring for a minute that I don't particularly like that my 3yo can correctly (or as correctly as anyone else) say 'that boy won't play with me' or 'that girl took the ball'... (Like, how can he tell? They’re just kids...) Even though he can't grasp pronouns I'm glad that he's exposed to gender neutral on a regular basis thanks to the librarian that does toddler time at the library, Mx. Jude. I feel like it's scary to tell parents your proper pronouns because so many people are shitty but I'm glad they did. I guess I should write a comment card or something? Or is that patronizing?

I've been working on my own pronoun use, too. I try to remember not to assume and to use neutral terms unless I know otherwise. Kinda hard to unlearn a lifetime of cis stuff but I try. Sometimes I mess up in my head at work -- hard not to make assumptions when speaking with a nurse named Angela -- but I (think) I always remember when leaving a note saying who I spoke to be neuter about it. 

It’s already paid off. Kiddo is in swimming lessons and his teachers rotate all the time so I was introducing him to the week’s teacher. I don’t know if I would have caught myself if it wasn’t easy to see that the teacher was wearing clothes that came from a different department than their AGAB but it slowed me down enough that I remembered to use a they/them, despite my brain telling me I could just assume their gender and sexual preferences based on a glance. I’m really glad I did bc when I tell you their eyes just LIT UP and being called they/them by a new parent. 

So much so even my mom saw it, I think. Or maybe she picked up on me continuing to use those pronouns when talking about them later? I don’t think I ever mentioned them again though. I do know that I saw mom use the correct pronouns weeks later when we saw them again, in that way where she had to slow down before she said it to remind herself to use they/them. I know it’s a struggle for her. It’s hard to re-learn! She’s very good about Mx. Jude in front of kiddo but sometimes will slip when talking to be about them. 

I probably slow down the same way, though I try not to. It doesn’t come naturally yet. But I’m glad that I’m working on it. And I’m glad people from my mom’s generation are too. 

I grew up with Fox News playing like 24/7, except when we were in the car: then it was Rush Limbaugh. I believed all the rhetoric. But occasionally something someone said would seem Too Unfair to me, and if was coming from my mom I would say so. One time a butch woman (I think. Who knows.) was spending, like, a long time primping her hair in the Target bathroom. Mom muttered something like ‘she’s spending an awfully long time on how she looks for someone who doesn’t care how they look.’ and I was like ‘who says she doesn’t care?? Just because YOU don’t like women with short hair doesn’t mean SHE doesn’t like it. You don’t know she cut it just to say ‘fuck you’ society.’ (though, now that I’m older and wiser, more power to them if they did. I also like to imagine they were getting ready for a date or talking to a cute cashier.)

She used to say It’s okay to be gay but they shouldn’t be *married* they can just have ‘civil unions’. It took me YEARS to stop believing that, but when I did I found an excuse to bring it up again so I could say something about it. 

And folks? It worked?? Like I didn’t notice at the time. I don’t think she really responded either time and the subject moved on. But even she still remembers that time in the Target bathroom because it left such a ‘o shit the kid’s right’ imprint on her, and it’s made her think about some things more critically.

But now we’re at a point that my mom will text me about how my kiddo loved playing with Mx. Jude today, just casually in a text. I didn’t even know where she learned that Mx. was a thing. She didn’t learn it from me.  (I’ve since gathered she probably learned it from the teacher.) I’ve never really talked her much about gender outside explaining why some people go with bi and some pan and some other ones out there. 

Which! Side note. When her teenaged nephew came out as bi to her sister, and then the sister talked to mom about it, mom was able to explain ‘just because someone’s attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean it’s always all genders equally; sometimes it is, or sometimes people will still have some preference to girls or boys but are still bi’ because apparently of all the things I said to her about it that one was like a lightbulb for her. I have no idea why it mattered in the conversation tbh, only that she later said she was happy that she understood that now, thanks to me. 

I hope this isn’t patronizing to mom, and I don’t want anyone to think ill of her bc she’s super amazing and caring and works so stupid hard for this family. But it’s just great to see that other former Fox-News watchers can just learn to teach themselves to be progressive. 

(Dad’s changed a lot too but not in an anecdote-able way, not as socially, so idk how to describe it. Definitely thinks more critically though.)

 One more before I resort to sleep meds I guess. My cishet BFF just informed me that her spouse is a transwoman. She’s wanted to tell me forever (like 6 month I think) but they weren’t out about it yet and it wasn’t her place to tell, all I knew was that her and spouse were in therapy about something she couldn’t talk to me about yet. 

I focused more on her reaction to it when I was talking to her, because I know how much she hates secrets and has wanted to talk to me about it and I wanted her to tell me all the things she’s been holding back. And also their family’s reactions because they suck. (The reaction is that everyone thinks her wife is going to hell, even the wife’s mother.) But the first thing I asked was how to spell her wife’s new name. 

When the conversation was over and I had her permission to tell others I informed my spouse and mom, because they also know my BFF and might talk about her spouse and I didn’t want them to accidentally misgender/deadname her. 

My mom’s first question was how to spell her wife’s new name 😂 (and then if she was using she/her pronouns or smth else).

Idk. It’s exciting. I’m happy for all you funky little queer folk. I’m sorry my ass is taking so long to catch up. I’ll make sure my kiddo is better than me. Forgive him for misgendering over half the population currently (and most inanimate objects).

[radishaur]

hi can I also request a Fire Lord Zuko x reader based on a scene from Mulan where she asked Shang “would you like to stay for dinner?” and then her grandmother shouted “would you like to stay forever?” except the grandmother is Uncle Iroh in this story and Zuko is the one who asked her the question (I have the link for this scene from the Mulan movie and I can send it to you via message if you don’t know which scene i’m talking about) Thank you!

OMG I would love to. Mulan is still one of my favorite Disney movies of all time. I’m so happy I got this request. I hope that I do it some justice!

In order for this to make sense I’m going to explain what happens previously to this scene in the fanfic. Basically, Y/N did what Mulan did, taking her father’s place in the war, except it’s taking his spot on Zuko’s ship. Zuko finds out etc, plot goes on as normal for the show, and then when Y/N returns home after helping defeat the Fire Lord, Zuko comes to find her.

(Also, I hope you don’t mind the small bisexual Zuko theme I threw in there. Because honestly Zuko gives off major bi vibes on his own in my opinion and so did Li Shang. He liked Mulan way before he found out he was actually a she.)

- Zoe

•••

Stay For Dinner (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: See Request

•••

Reader’s POV:

The cherry blossoms flittered in the quiet breeze that past by. I simply enjoyed the feeling of being under the tree with my father again after 3 long years. I knew he was probably furious with me, but I didn’t regret my decision.

“I’m sorry, father. I know you must be mad,” I said quietly, refusing to look at him.

He chuckled slightly which caused me to glance cautiously over at him. He smiled and took my hand in his.

“I’m not mad. In fact, I’m incredibly proud of you,” he said, his eyes filled with the love only a father could have.

“Y-You’re not?” I asked hesitantly.

“I was mad at first, but then I realized that you only did what you thought was right and stood up for what you believe in. You fulfilled your destiny and helped being peace to the Fire Nation. I just missed you dearly while you were gone,” he assured me, pulling me into a hug on the bench.

I hugged him back and allowed a smile to break out on my face.

“I missed you too,” I said softly.

•••

Zuko’s POV:

The carriage was quiet as we finally pulled up to the house. I grabbed the helmet off the seat next to me as I gathered all my courage. I looked up and saw the Gaang’s eye’s on me.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Katara assured me.

“Yea, she’s totally in love with you!” Sokka exclaimed, clapping his hand against my shoulder.

“I can feel your heart rate increasing by the second,” Toph teased before adding, “Don’t be so nervous.”

“Just be honest with her about your feelings,” Aang said with his signature smile.

I rolled my eyes and told them all to wait out here before coming to greet their friend. I wanted a moment alone with her to apologize and tell her how I felt.

I gripped the helmet tightly in my hands as I approached the house. It had a quiet beauty to it that I enjoyed as I slowly entered the courtyard. I saw two ladies bickering by an opening in the wall and cautiously approached them.

“Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should have brought home a man!” the older lady scoffed.

As if on cue, I cleared my throat to catch their attention.

“Excuse me. Does Y/N L/N live here?” I asked nervously.

Both women stared at me in shock before pointing through the opening. I thanked them as I walked towards where they had pointed.

“Woo! Sign me up for the next war,” I heard the older lady say.

I ignored her words as I scanned the area. There was a beautiful cherry blossom tree on top of a small hill. Under it stood who I knew from Fire Nation politics growing up to be Y/N’s father. I approached him as he noticed my presence.

“General, I-“ I began, only to see her walk out from behind him.

I was caught off guard by her sudden appearance and stumbled over my words.

“Y-Y/N!” I exclaimed in surprise.

She looked equally as shocked to see me. She stood beside her father and looked up at me expectantly, certainly waiting for an explanation as to what I was doing here.

“Uhhhh, you forgot your helmet!” I explained, holding it out to her before shaking my head and saying, “Uh w-well it’s actually...your helmet. I mean-”

I was cut off by Y/N stepping forward and lightly grabbing the helmet from my hands. She smiled up at me and it caused a swarm of butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” she asked politely.

“Would you like to stay forever?” I heard her grandma call out.

She laughed and shook her head, shooting her grandma an amused look before looking back up at me. I blushed and smiled sheepishly.

“Dinner would be great,” I answered.

“Great, I-“ she began before getting cut off.

“Did you tell her already?” Aang called out.

I turned around to see Aang and the rest of them all standing through the wall’s opening. My face went red immediately and I furiously signaled for them to cut it out.

“Oh, we’re too early then. Sorry,” Aang said innocently.

“You guys!” she exclaimed happily, running over and giving them each a hug.

She turned around and looked at her family who were watching on in a mix of shock and amusement. Her father walked to her mother’s side as she smiled.

“I guess I should introduce everyone. Mom, Dad, Grandma, these are my friends I was telling you about,” she said, turning to start introducing us, “This is Aang, he’s the Avatar. This is Katara and Sokka, the Southern Water Tribe siblings. This is Toph, the greatest earthbender of all time. And this-“

“We know who he is,” your father interrupted.

She giggled slightly, realizing that they definitely knew who I was already.

“Right,” she said, sending a pleasant smile my way.

I waved awkwardly at her family, causing Sokka to snicker at my embarrassment. I shot him a glare as I walked down to introduce myself properly. I bowed in front of her family and they did the same.

“Prince Zuko,” I said politely, looking at the three of them with a smile.

“The future Fire Lord. It is an honor to have you at our home,” her father said before turning to Aang and bowing, “You as well, Avatar Aang.”

The Gaang went inside with Y/N’s family to help with dinner while I stayed behind with her. She brought me to sit next to her on the bench.

“So, what was it that you had to tell me?” she asked.

I took a deep breath before turning to face her. I grabbed her hand hesitantly and looked up to meet her gaze. Her E/C eyes were brimming with life as she looked at me.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for quite some time, but I...well at first I thought you were a man. Which was weird. And then I found out that you were actually a woman and I was really confused. B-But anyway,” I stuttered, realizing I was getting off topic.

Y/N squeezed my hand lightly as she held back a giggle. I felt my cheeks color slightly before continuing.

“I really like you. I mean like real genuine feelings. Even before I knew who you really were,” I explained, my heart racing as the fear of rejections grew.

“Wait, you liked me when I was a man? A-And you still like me? Like actual girl me?” she asked curiously.

My red cheeks grew hot as I grimaced, expecting her to criticize me as I nodded. Great. Not only was I coming out to her but I was also confessing my feelings.

I was shocked when I felt her lips pressed against mine. I let my free hand come up to her cheek as she knotted her own in my hair. I didn’t stop kissing her until I was out of breath. I rested my forehead on hers and smiled.

“So, you’re not weirded out or anything? You still like me?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t care at all. I like you for you, Zuko,” she mumbled against my lips.

She kissed me once more and I pulled her closer to me in a hug as she did. After so long, I was finally able to be with her.

“We’d better get inside before my father wonders what’s taking so long,” she said, a teasing smile on her face.

I stood up and held my hand out for her to take. She smiled at me and I pressed as kiss into her hand as she took mine. She held my hand as I began walking towards the house to help with dinner. Her warm hand in mine assured me that everything would be just fine.

[lemystical-puffle]

My A3 Sexuality Headcanons that no one asked for!

[These won’t include Gender, only sexual orientation or lack thereof(is that a phrase?)]

Color coordination

Gay

Bi

Pan

Aro

Hetero

Sakuya Sakuma: Pansexual! He doesn’t have any preferences, honestly after his childhood he just wants someone who will love and accept him!

Masumi: Bisexual. I feel like he would love the director whether they be boy, girl, other, all, he just wants someone to give him attention, and that person just happened to be out beloved Izumi Tachibana.

Tsuzuru: okay this ones me projecting but whatever Aro/Ace Tsuzuru. He doesn’t feel romantic attraction, and instead just feels a family-brotherly kind of love towards his friends and fellow actors. He doesn’t really want to romantically be with someone, and yet instead just wants to be there for them when they need it and love them the same way he loves his family at home

Citron: Also pan!! But Pan-Romantic specifically. Citron literally just wants to love everyone ever because he’s just awesome like that, but won’t go pass kissing someone. It just makes him uncomfortable which is perfectly fine because he is Citron Lastname! But yeah, also no gender prefermance

Itaru: Bi with a male preference. I can’t really explain why I think this, I just do. Maybe because most of the woman he has ever shown interest in are his 2D anime waifus. Also I mean come on he totally had a whole thing for Lancelot he thinks knights are hot and that is so valid.

Chikage: he is a gay cabbage. Listen the only time he has said he liked a woman it was because he said they weren’t like his mom and I am just- I’m sorry I don’t trust that. This man is a gay, he is never had a boyfriend but he has definitely thought of hooking up with his boss for a raise, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Tenma: Also bi! Bi-Ace specifically. I wasn’t really sure where to put him because on one hand I feel like he has a lot of MLM energy but on the other hand his solo song so I just, bi. I feel like his gay awakening came when he played the token gay best friend in a romcom because gay actor erasure but Tenma didn’t really understand, but later he was in a scene where he was with his boyfriend who shows up for one second to remind the audience he’s a homosexual and Tenma was just: crap he’s not

Yuki: okay at first I didn’t know what to put for Yuki cause on one hand sexuality erasure Yuki has specifically said he likes girl and he defies stereotypes and stuff but on the other hand he never said he didn’t like boys so he’s bi with a female preference. I feel like Yuki is the kind of guy to just happen to fall in love with whoever and just go “oh crap did I just fall in love?” And while he likes girls more sometimes it just. Happens.

Muku: Surprise surprise he’s Pan! Muku totally reads shoujo manga with all sexualities and is very livid about good representation, will write a “negative review” (and in Muku terms that’s him being very polite, 4.5/5 stars and linking research resources) about how inaccurate a sexuality was portrayed. I feel like at first he just thought he was a very active ally and now he is just: “oh crap boys. And girls. And enbys. And genderfluids. And everyone.”

Misumi: Misumi is very homosexual, which at first he was sad about because homosexual has 2 o’s which are circles but then he realized he can just say gay but spell it like: G🔺Y so he got happy again. I feel like it was one of the reasons he was kicked out of his home, he just likes boys Jeez Ikaruga parents no rights. (I also Headcanon him as autistic but that’s not what this post is about).

Kazunari: In Kazunari Miyoshi’s world he never has to make a decision in his life and that includes sexuality. Show him a guy and a girl and tell him to pick one and he will simply overload until he picks the person who knows the most trivia on classical art or smthing. Kazunari just: adores everyone ever, and that’s okay! After a lot of internalized homophobia and fear, he was able to come out to first a small group of college friends and eventually felt comfortable with the label and was able to express it openly, now he wears it with pride!

Kumon: I really don’t have any explaining to go here, Kumon just feels gay to me. My head can’t wrap around him wanting to be intimate with a girl. I do think there was this big moment of him coming out to Juza and Juza just going “s’okay.” Then they hug and get ice cream

Banri: Banri is bisexual with a straight pride flag and a Juza Preference. Catch him at the straight pride parade telling “those Homo’s that they’re going to burn.” While making out with Juza against a wall. That’s canon I don’t take criticism

Juza: Also Gay, I feel like Kumon came out first and Juza did research and was like “oh me too.” And just thought about how he’s never actually liked a girl and thought boys were kinda pretty and oh crap Settsu slicked his hair back oh crap oh crap pretty men.

Taichi: Taichi is bisexual, with his preferences being as random as his hair. Except no weird 1/4 quarters going on. Idk where I was going with that analogy I’m sorry. Taichi just likes the humans and wants to go kiss kiss with them all, and then bring them along on his journey for fame and popularity!

Omi: Listen, Omi is the mother of Mankai, and as the mother he loves everyone unconditionally. He also totally wanted to kiss Nachi I’m sorry. I feel like Omi has a male preference, but only by a bit as he loves everyone! He is a good boy and brings all the snacks and water to the pride parades so his friends stay healthy :)

Sakyo: Sakyo is the straight~ supportive dad who doesn’t care if you’re gay straight bi pan anything as long as you pay your taxes. Was probably a little confused at first just because. Probably said “LGBT? Isn’t that a sandwich.” But he got informed did research and is now a huge ally! After more research he identifies specifically as graysexual/romantic as he feels rarely any romantic attraction at all unless under certain circumstances aka Izumi Tachibana. I akso think he suspected that Azami was LGBT for a bit before he came out so he wanted to do research so that Azami would feel comfortable coming out when he was ready. Also he can’t like, not support Sakoda (who I Headcanon as gay :) )

Azami: Azami is bi-aro. Sex? Nah he won’t even hold your hand before marriage, however he will love you no matter your gender. I also see him with a female preference just from his straight upbringing and it’s the title he feels most comfortable with after some internalized homophobia, especially with how his dad shamed him for liking makeup. He is still getting used to the LGBT community and I feel like he is still taking baby steps, learning about different identities and wanting to do all he can to support both himself and his fellow actors due to simply not knowing where to start. Don’t worry Azami take you’re time! There is no rush, you are trying to figure yourself out and we all love you so much for it, there is no shame in changing your mind later. We adore you all the same. (If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t only talking to Azami. If you are still questioning yourself it is 100% okay, because honestly I am too. There is no rush to figure yourself out, and I hope you know that we are all here for you!)

Tsumugi: Tsumugi is gay, but I feel like he also had a lot of internalized homophobia. I feel like when he was younger he really liked Tasuku but didn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic, and it took some time before he was able to really discover himself and come to the identity he has currently.

Tasuku: Tasuku is gay and homophobic.

Hisoka: Hisoka is homo-demi-romantic asexual. I feel like it won’t want to date anyone without really earning their trust and feeling safe around them, and after that point he still will be pretty shy romantically, but it is very much understandable and we all still love Hisoka

Homare: Homare is pan. He doesn’t really care about gender, he just wants someone who will love him and his poetry without seeing him as broken. I feel like after his last relationship he was hesitant to date again, but after some time and help from the rest of winter troupe he was able to rediscover himself. (Also autistic Homare go brrrr)

Azuma: Azuma is an old gay man who just thinks boobs are neat. That’s it that’s the post sent tweet turn off replies.

Guy: New color who this? This is because I didn’t know what to put for Guy, so he simply doesn’t identify as anything. I don’t know a lot about Guy but I know enough to feel like relationships would be very awkward and touchy for him due to his problems with emotions and expression. He isn’t straight, but he doesn’t really identify as anything either. He’s just: Guy. Which is more than valid

[oh also all of winter is Poly and they’re boyfriends thanks for coming to my Ted talk]

Hope you all liked these! Of course they are all my own opinion and you don’t have to agree with all, they’re just how I feel!! Feel free to reply or reblog with your own opinions or Headcanons!!

[oneweekoneband]

Five Taylor Swift Photos From Magazine Spreads Which Make Me Feel Unmoored In Space And Time

This 2014 Rolling Stone piece is called Reinvention of Taylor Swift and heralds that she’s “left country behind”. I’ve always felt Taylor’s relationship to country music is more complicated than the simple case of a country darling seeing a chance at crossover superstardom and abandoning her down-home roots for bubblegum, namely because Taylor doesn’t actually have any down-home roots. Total domination was always the plan, and everything I know about this woman says it was always going to work, too. If anything, the country years represented a transactional relationship between an ambitious young woman and the genre best positioned to uplift and provide an instant audience for a white, blonde singer who wants to write love songs. The whole this is less A Star is Born, more A Star is Intentionally And Calculatedly Built. But 1989—the release of which feels so long ago now, so much more than six years, farther away in my mind even than the older albums for being less firmly planted in my own psychic landscape and heart, that to try and recall the experience of having been 22 and reading this article is close to impossible—mark a coronation of sorts for a whole new girl, shorn, shined, and repackaged for mass distribution, as this stripped down and honestly kind of hot cover shoot shows. During the interview, Taylor offers the interviewer a choice of six different flavors of sparkling water, which is a level of decadence that I cannot imagine, then starts talking about HBO’s Girls. In 2014 it was still basically talk about Girls or be instantly murdered by roving death squad. That was just what life was then. Taylor says she is a Shoshanna but my brain, brave ally, has erased every piece of knowledge I ever accumulated about that show so I don’t know if she was right. What I like about this particular photo, wherein “I like” means, “makes me a little feral” is how it calls to mind, like, the kind of black & white snapshot of lads being lads on a beach somewhere during a long ago war which, were it to find its way onto Twitter today, would be immediately quote RT’d like fifty thousand times like, “seems gay imo.”

The critical takeaway from this Vogue article is that until 2016 Taylor Swift hadn’t been to her Pennsylvania hometown in a decade. Yes, the family relocated to Nashville when she was a teenager to begin the construction of the Taylor Swift Industrial Complex but there’s still something odd and compelling to me about the fact that she never once went back to visit the supposed best friend Britany whose wedding is the impetus for the visit chronicled here. Maybe it means nothing! She did have kind of a busy decade, and things happen. Time passes faster than you’re ever expecting it to and the ten years between sixteen and twenty six are particularly slippery ones. Maybe! Or maybe Taylor Swift left that pre-fame life coolly in the dust, useless to her now, and doesn’t think of it at all except to clinically mine for content. Maybe Britany only had Taylor in her wedding because if you can get Taylor Swift to come, with a Vogue writer in tow, be your maid of honor, it would be difficult to resist the temptation not to do it, like, for the bit, and for probably a really expensive gift. Maybe the truth is more like a little bit of both. Regardless, there’s this proto-”seven” passage.

During a car ride earlier in the day, she excitedly pointed out landmarks: the creek where she and Britany used to play as kids; a weathered tree house in the front yard of the former Maack family home; the piney woods she and her friends used to think were haunted

Could be that Britany was the inspiration for the friend with the dad whose always mad in that dreamy piano track, but if pressed I’d put my money on Taylor just being enamored of the romantic americana of dirty children clamoring over creek beds full of ghosts, and unfortunately I can’t begrudge her that because same.

Every image from when Taylor did that Soft Focus Harley Quinn thing last year while in the throes of her full court press media blitz about how she is not only not a nazi but also Loves Gays, is to me an unbearable agony, a ruthless torment, a knife in my back, a stitch in my side, a terror I can’t unsee, a silent scream I can’t get out, but I find this one from Entertainment Weekly most upsetting of all. I am not saying that it is illegal to sit in the dirt wearing a pink and blue matching argyle sweater and short shorts combo with dumb dip-dyed hair and then not come out as bi, even, but I am saying abolish prisons for everyone except Taylor Swift, who should be in one.

This goofy goth photo shoot from 2017 is one thing, but the really important historical detail to note here is that UK Vogue, clearly absolute limp-wristed freaks, agreed to run these photos accompanied not by an interview with their covers star, but with a fucking poem she wrote. While I do think a poem in place of a proper profile is actually less morally objectionable than the famous person-”interviewed”-by-other famous person trend that’s eaten up so much of celebrity journalism, it’s still not really something a reasonable person can condone. If you have never read the poem... I actually think it’s not that bad! But, honestly, when I was sixteen I volunteered myself to edit my high school’s litmag (in order to be given a little money to have a litmag) and to my great surprise, having really assumed that I was basically just going to have, like, my own writing and some weird slightly, porny drawings from the anime club, shortly found myself inundated with piles of the most truly awful poetry ever produced, and was left to judge it all myself, and I believe the experience scarred my mind so badly that I still have great difficulty determining a good poem from a bad one with any clarity. “Hold on to childlike whims and moonlight / swims and your blazing self-respect” definitely would have made it into The Knightwriter, is all I’m saying.

When I am on my death bed, reeking and gasping, alive only technically, my family will gather close to provide comfort and receive my last words, hoping that they can offer me a sense of peace before the darkness falls. “Bring me my darling,” I’ll rasp, then choke on the air. And when nervous human children of my lineage are pressed to the bedside I’ll shake my head painfully, no, no, no, until finally they bring to me the one thing I truly love: this picture of Taylor Swift wearing a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt in a 2015 Lucky Magazine photo shoot, for some reason.

[thecaptainhelm]

Good Love

ch.2 is here, it’s technically an interlude, which is bad bc it’s so early. i never claimed to be good at this, so here’s Alfred being worried for almost two thousand words

Enjoy!

That day, it was one of the rare, bright mornings in Gotham, where the sky was overcast but the sun managed to shine through, sending dappled sunlight into the eastern wing of Wayne Manor. Alfred Pennyworth had been up before sunrise as he had been for decades, carrying out his more mundane tasks in service to the Waynes, though it would have been preferred that they learned to rely on him for other things.

Normally he wouldn’t complain quite so much, the stress from it was cumbersome in his old age, but the situation had been truly aggravating this past month.

The youngest master of the house had begun acting...strange. Strange in a way that genuinely worried both himself and Bruce. Damian was by no means the best at communication, but he did at least check in from time to time, and they saw him for when they needed extra hands on deck for their ‘night shift’ as they’d begun to call it.

He didn’t contact anyone for an entire week, dropping off radar, and the only reason anyone knew was that Dr. Norfey had left a message with his emergency contacts, asking him to set up a date to reschedule his bi-monthly appointments.

Everyone called Damian in a rush, and he said he was fine, but it was strange because Damian never did anything without a reason, ever. He was literally raised to make carefully planned decisions, and that idea was only reinforced under their care. They’d had to find out because he missed his therapy session as if he didn’t worry Alfred enough.

For the past three years, he had been in the care of a reputable therapist, competent, and more importantly, safe for Damian. They specialized in mentally and emotionally abused patients and unearthing childhood trauma. The success rate of Dr. Norfey was slightly above average, as most patients either leave positive reviews or receive recommendations for more intensive help. After arguing for days on end with the entire family, he finally relented and scheduled a two-hour session. After that, he went about his routine as usual.

Nothing extreme had happened, thank God, but there did seem to be a positive response. He met with Dr. Norfey again after two weeks, glaring at anyone who would look too long, daring them to speak up. It wasn’t long before it became the new normal. The young master gradually lost his scowl for something gentler, appearing relaxed when home, though he went back to it as soon as he left the premises. Certainly, he had his good days and his bad days, but he seemed all the more certain of himself as an individual. Truly, he didn’t think Damian could make him anymore proud.

Then, he met a young lady.

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a petite young woman with kind eyes and a bright smile set upon a youthful face. She was polite, witty, with no small amount of talent and charm, and an endless amount of patience for Alfred’s brood. She was a breath of fresh air, especially for the suffocated Damian.

An investigation into her profile revealed that she was a rising star of the cutthroat fashion realm, her resume boasting high-profile clientele and lucrative business contracts. She hadn’t had anything notorious to her name, no criminal record, no illegal transactions, almost normal to the point of suspicion. After a while though, they managed to dig up something insidious.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had connections to a terrorist.

Six years prior, a supervillain appeared in Paris for the first time, holding the city, it’s citizens, and tourists hostage for what would be the better part of three years. During that period, Ms. Dupain-Cheng would then begin to date Adrien Agreste, and then break up with him a year later. She and her entire family disappeared soon after. A month later, Hawkmoth was arrested, along with his accomplice Mayura, and seventeen years old son, Adrien Agreste. It didn’t take a detective to figure out what happened.

Looking at the classified investigation reports uncovered more of the truth, that Gabriel had the idea to use the miraculous to revive his wife. He planned to sacrifice his son’s girlfriend, a girl his wife would never know about by using Adrien to make the wish. In the end, he never even got his hands on the miraculous. Marinette had started to become uncomfortable with Gabriel’s strange questions and talked to Ladybug and Chat Noir.

When she told them of what types of questions she was asked, they grew concerned and sent her and her family to a safe house outside of Paris. From there, with police assistance, evidence was gathered and a warrant was issued. Gabriel was confident until Supergirl arrived, using her x-ray vision on the property and revealing the hidden lair beneath the building. He was quickly apprehended without fuss, and it was case closed. Adrien had been arrested as well, but he was quickly acquitted when evidence showed that he wasn’t involved in any way.

After that was the media firestorm, and the Dupain-Chengs weren’t spared. However, Ms. Dupain-Cheng was skilled as she showed her hand, and it was a revolution. Out from the woodwork poured celebrity after celebrity, vouching for her and her family.

She managed to turn her pariah status into that of a martyr in the eyes of the public because that was the bible-sworn truth. She’d rose to the occasion and exceeded all expectations. After that, she faded from the media for two years before returning as a critically acclaimed designer.     The Bats gave her a grace period and soon they too began to gradually lower their guard.

And young master Damian appeared to be quite smitten as he decided to open his heart as well.

He watched his young master attempt to curry favor with the young lady, awkwardly wooing her to their family’s amusement. He saw her cautiously reciprocate, and he saw their tentative courtship, budding and fragile, blossom into something beautiful and delicate. He saw them weather the tough days and work hard for their relationship. He saw Damian start to let himself be happy without restraint. Soon a year had passed, then two, and then three. In the fourth year, master Bruce started to hint to Alfred to update the family registry, as joyful as he was.

So when he was sent word that Damian’s belongings would be shipped home, he hoped that Ms. Marinette would be there with him.  Perhaps misfortune had come to their apartment and most of the young lady’s things had to be sent to storage, but it wasn’t meant to be. The message he sent left no room for misunderstandings.

I’m sending my things back to the manor. I’ll be home by the end of the week.

The young master shall be returning alone, then.

Alfred had long since received the delivery and moved everything back to its original place, save for items that were acquired after he’d moved out. Now the day had come for Damian to arrive home. The moment was both exactly and not at all what he’d expected.

On an unusually sunny morning, about an hour before noon, the one and only Alfred Pennyworth opened the doors to the sight of the youngest master, Damian.

His appearance was neat, shoulders back, and posture straight as a rod. There was not a hair out of place. However, his eyes…

It had been a while since he’s seen his eyes look so strained, it was clear that he had not slept well. This was when he knew that Ms. Marinette would not be returning for a visit for some time

“Welcome back, Master Damian,” he said.

“Hello, Alfred.” A rigid nod. “I have returned.”

“So it appears,” he opened the doors and waved Damian in. “I have your favorite pot of tea on. Would you care for a cup in the dining room or the parlor?”

“Neither. I’ll have some, but I’d like to rest for a while.” Damian stepped gingerly through the door, as though he was indeed tired. Normally, he wouldn’t let such an obvious wound slide, but he knew better to pressure a man trapped in a corner.

“Very well, young master,” Alfred shut the door and turned to accompany Damian through the main hall, a step behind.

“You’ll find your belongings in your old bedroom with the facilities fully stocked, as per usual. Please be sure to take care of your wound and to reschedule your session with Dr. Norfey before tomorrow.”

“Yes, thank you, Alfred.” A pause. Damian had never been one for conversation, but he would usually ask what was going on in the manor without wasting time.

“As your father will be out late at the office along with your brothers, dinner will be held an hour earlier to accommodate their sudden absence.”

A noncommittal hum came from the young man in front of him and Alfred nearly furrowed his brow in worry.

All too soon they arrived and Damian turned back to the Wayne family butler, stoic.

“Thank you, Alfred,” he nodded slightly. “I’ll be out for dinner, but I am feeling a bit hungry after my drive. “

“Say no more,” Alfred gave him a placid smile. “I’ve already set out the tea and snacks on your desk. I shall return for the platter after you have finished.”

Damian finally let loose a tiny smirk. “Thank you, Alfred.”

“Of course, sir.” A courteous bow was the last Damian saw of the butler as he entered and closed the door to his room.

Alfred walked back towards the kitchen to check on his pot roast, feeling relieved. Damian wasn’t at his best, that much was evident, but that didn’t mean he was at his worst. At least not yet. However, there was still hope, because while it seemed like he had regressed in his current state, his tired eyes said that he had some sort of revelation.

Alfred began to prepare Damian’s portion, wondering what could have happened between the two for him to return alone, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else? The list of options was short but severe. He could have told her any number of secrets about his past, family history, current vigilante occupation, and while he had faith in Ms. Marinette, the young woman was by no means a saint.

It could have also been that she broke up with Damian, and it might be his extreme bias, but he couldn’t fathom why. Yes, this was Damian they were talking about, but he’d been in therapy for close to eight years now and was making steady progress as he continued to root out his trauma and slowly but surely heal. However, he did not know how their relationship was faring, as both proved to be rather private. Though, the young miss was more shy than possessive.

Damian had over ten years of trauma, all throughout his early childhood, and suddenly he was becoming an adult. A confused, depressed, and unstable child had become trapped in the body and mind of an adult, and while everyone helped to the best they could, all while trying to help themselves, it wasn’t enough. It never would be, not for this battle.

Alfred sighed, feeling his years. He pulled dinner out to rest and started to set the table, just in time for the proximity sensors to notify him of Bruce’s car pulling into the estate. Right on schedule.

“Welcome home Masters Bruce, Timothy, and Duke. If you would, hurry and wash before dinner. It’s been quite the long day, has it not?”

there, it’s gonna be a while for ch. 3