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seostudios · 4 years

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零 don’t cha

synopsis: who would’ve thought that dating you; the perfect it girl. would be this much trouble? definitely not nakamoto yuta as he decided to become someone more significant to you. was this your average fairy tale or was this a tragedy?

genre: fluff, angst pairings: yuta x fem!reader info: ceo!au, non-idol!au, ceo!yuta, ceo!model!music-producer!nct, rich!au, mentions of proclaimed death, cheating, brother!johnny, assistant!haechan!jungwoo wc: 6.8k

a/n: lol this is NOTHING LIKE WHAT U REQUESTED I’M SO SORRY..... i mean in the beginning it is but it just took a turn and i was writing whatever came to mind... like 2/3 of the story isn’t even a yuta x reader fic it’s jsut about everything else! i hate myself for doing u dirty but i hope u read this! it’s actually good (imo) since i worked awhile on it and it’s one of my longer fics.

She was fierce, elegant, beautiful. An unmatched package for any walking figure. Her person, running a multi-millionaire business by herself. Doing it for who? Her and Suki; the fiery red betta fish, placed on her nightstand. Yuta was just like you. Although Yuta is fierce, charming and quick on his feet, he still manages to be just the opposite around you. Yuta is on the right path, growing his empire little by little. You started as an insufficient secretary for an Electric Power Corporation but, those late nights and overtime paid off as you are now the CEO of your own retail company. Yuta waltzed into your business while he was an errand boy for Moon Taeil, a good friend and business partner of yours. Taeil had been worried about his future and decided he would've let Yuta go under your wing for a couple of weeks.

That brings you here, September 2019. The vibrant hues of autumn settling into the busy streets of Seoul. "Good morning Ms. Seo." The receptionist, Chaewon, greeted with a bubbly smile like any other day. "Yuta is waiting for you in your office," She informed, watching your small strides turn into a jog towards the elevator. When you reached the top floor where your office and meeting rooms were located, "Did you receive John's fax? He told me your father wanted an opinion!" Haechan, your assistant, asked swiftly, sticking to your hip as you stepped out of the conveyor, pushing his glasses up. "Oh, can you tell him to print whatever he sent and meet me for lunch? I heard he's back in the city." He nodded before running back towards his cubicle to make the requested phone call. That's when you were finally able to enter the office. "So... The rumours are true, you did decide to visit." You grin like a Cheshire cat plastered onto your face, you made long strides beside Yuta, who was staring into the traffic abyss below you two. He hummed before turning over to you; "How is my favourite person doing today?" He asked cheerfully before inviting himself to sit on your chair. Dragging yourself yet again, towards Yuta. You stood in front of him before seating yourself on top of the desk. He watched as your posture slumped and brows knit with a childish frown displayed. "Not well," He decided to sit up in his seat, hands combing through his dirty blond locks. "John's back in town, I'm pretty sure he brought Gyunghui." You roll your eyes unknowingly at the mention of your elder brother's proclaimed girlfriend. "I mean, who gets married after dating for 6 months?!" You groan, disappointed in your brother's decisions. Yuta's eyes crinkled at the corners before he threw his head back in laughter. Was this the reason you were so upset? "Y/N they've been friends for 10 years, I think it's safe to say they'll be okay." He responded with a smile. Straightening up, you huff and look the other way, crossing your legs. "Ugh, Whatever..." You look back down at him, "How is Jin Nyun?" Yuta's face fell, 'Can't we go one conversation without mentioning her?' He pondered momentarily before looking up at you with a soft smile, "She's amazing. She went out of town for work," He sighed, "Again." Your brows furrowed for an instant. He seemed upset. Why wouldn't he be? You'd be furious if your lover set off on multiple business trips every week. That's when it hit you, "What is she again? Job?" You question. "She's a photographer." Now that's bullshit. You knew for a fact, she wasn't big enough in the industry to leave on trips on multiple occasions for a photoshoot. "Why?" He asked, and you couldn’t explain the sense of innocence you felt from him, so oblivious to the situation he's in. "N-Nothing just wondered." You stutter out. He observed you quietly but decided to leave it like that. Raising your wrist, you glance towards your watch, "It's nearing noon." You whisper, Yuta looks up, "Plans?" he questioned with a brow raised. You nod "Lunch with Johnny," Smiling you reminisce back to when you and Johnny ruled overtop Seoul, with two successful companies in powerful industries. "I'll walk you out then," Yuta chimed, jumping from his seat, bringing his hand out for you to hold. "Oh! What a gentleman." You giggle, watching his cheeks tint in a shade of red.

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"You sure there isn't going on between you and Yuta?" Your brother asked playfully, watching as Yuta walked you towards the small cafe at the end of the street. "He has a girlfriend, John," Can't a man and woman simply be friends? What's with him? "So?" He shrugs laughing before whining from the sharp pain in his calf where you managed to land a hand kick at. "What? From what I've heard from Taeil and Mark," Mark is Yuta's closest friend. "She's not all she says to be," He brushed it off his shoulder, "Maybe she's just a workaholic?" You suggest, "We both know an amateur photographer like her isn't that busy." The two of you erupt in a fit of knowing laughter. "You're too dangerous, Johnny," You kiss your teeth before being served the lunch you had Johnny order earlier. "But on a serious note, you should find a boyfriend." He makes a disgusted face, looking you up and down. "Before you age, aren't you almost 24?" He questioned, "Yea, but-" "Mom was pregnant with you at 24." He finishes, before receiving a well-deserved step on his big-toe. "What?! I just want what's best for you!" He barked, "You think that's Yuta! He's my friend and not to mention a business partner!" He lifted his hands, trying not to engage in an argument that might have you ignoring him (again) for months. "Alright, I know!" He sucks in his breath, "Lunch is almost over, kiddo. Try getting in that office and doing something extravagant as always." Johnny grabbed your empty plate and stacked them on top of one another, cleaning up as much possible. "You should have dinner with Gyunghui and me tonight? I'm sure you don't have plans." His eyes lit up at the mention of Gyunghui. It almost warmed your heart. "I wish! I gotta help Yuta clean his apartment tonight," Way to go Y/N! You just made the worst excuse possible. Yuta was probably going to be spending his evening kicking back and relaxing without Jin Nyun. Now that you've told Johnny this, you'd have to go through with it. "Oh?" Johnny's face turns into something more sinister. But you laugh it off knowing he's probably thinking of something perverted. "Okay! Gotta go!" "Not so fast," He grabbed the back of your arm, seating you back down, "You pay today." He smiled before grabbing his briefcase and jacket, exiting happily.

You slump into the cushion before grabbing your purse from the inside of your jacket pocket. After you pay, you pull out your phone, dialling Yuta's number. The call didn't even reach the first ring before he picked up, "Hello?" He was first to speak too. Weird. "Hi, It's Y/N-" "I know, we've had each other's numbers for three years now." You chuckle, "Okay... We have plans tonight, my friend." You can hear the evident groan on the other end. "When and where?" He asked. "After I get off around four and your place!" You cheer before silencing, waiting for a response. "Okay, good." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I need to clean this place up anyways, you can help out." He stated. "Perfect." You replied.

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Who would've guessed that your evening is being spent by scrubbing a sink with floral gloves? "You know," You started. "We could've gone out for dinner and hired someone for this," Yuta, who was behind you wiping the kitchen counter. "Yes, but it's unnecessary." He says. You groan, "Can't we watch something on Netflix? This place was already clean when I came in!" You whine, stomping your feet like a child. "No," He simply replied.

"Okay! Let's see what's on Netflix..." You mumble, before looking over to Yuta beside you on the couch. He seemed tense, uninterested. It was odd to see him like this, "Are you okay?" You tediously asked. He murmured something under his breath before sucking it in. "This is weird," He said, "Why are you trying to hang out with me while my girlfriend is out of town? Are you into me or something? I just find it weird!" He finally let out. So this is what has been bothering Yuta. Did he feel uncomfortable with you? He's acting like a completely different person from who he was earlier today at the office. "I'm sorry? I don't know what to say..." You exhale, "We're friends, and friends hang out. Plus, I needed an excuse to get out of dinner with Johnny and Gyunghui." His face fell, a pang of guilt waving over him. Did he seriously think you were trying to get into his pants (He's not wrong)? God, who did he think he was, making such assumptions. "Oh- Fuck. Sorry Y/N. I don't know what got over me." He throws the blanket to the side before leaving the living room towards the bathroom. It wasn't supposed to hurt. I mean, you've always had these hidden feelings for Yuta, but you still treated him like you would to a friend. "Hey, I think I'm just really stressed with Jin Nyun. She's never home." He bellowed, pumping his fists into the air before letting out a stressed groan. "She's really getting under your skin, huh?" You say, "Deeper than I thought." He made his way back beside you. "Let's- Let's just play this movie." He massaged the back of his neck, now focused on the movie displayed on the flat-screen TV.

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"Y/N!" You pull the phone from your ear for a moment. Johnny was exceptionally loud at ten in the morning. He sounded like he had something urgent to tell you. But, you out of everyone had no time to listen to his girl talk, especially when you're in a meeting room with ELLE magazine staff, discussing your new line of clothing and having your collection featured in this month's issue. "You won't believe-" "Johnny! I have a job to do!!" You screech, hearing his apologies moments after. Ending the phone call, you enter the meeting room, "Sorry, where were we?" Assistant editor, Myeong-Ko set this meeting up with you to discuss your fall collection. "Since you've gained an audience over the past five years, we'd like to include you're best fashion pieces on our models and October issue."

Finally, you thought you'd be stuck in that meeting for ages! It's a little past noon, you are positive that Johnny's at home relaxing on his day off, you decide to call him back on your way to your late lunch with Yuta and Taeil. "Hello?" You are greeted by Johnny's panting voice with Gyunghui's giggles heard; not wanting to know what was going on the other end of the phone, you cut to the chase. "Johnny, what'd you want to tell me earlier?" You hear the 'Ou' loud and clear as he remembers and laughs aloud, "Guess who asked Doyoung out at a club in Ilsan?" You wrinkle your forehead, looking up at the sky, thinking. "No clue," "Jin Nyun!" Johnny said. Now, this was a disaster. You thought Jin Nyun had been smart enough to not cheat on her boyfriend with his old drinking mate. Did the news reach Yuta? "Did he tell him?" You asked hesitantly, "No, he told me to tell you to tell him." And with that, big brother Seo ended the call to return to doing god knows what with his wife. That's when you reached the front door of this eatery. Yuta gave you directions to this new Tteokbokki place, a ten-minute walk from the main street. You walked in, recognizing the blond from a mile away, eyes glued to his phone in the corner booth. "Y/N..." He said, standing up and brushing off the crumbs of what seemed like a cookie off his lap. He looked awful, the ache in your heart wondering who caused him such discomfort flamed the anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?" You watch him slumped back into the seat, not bothering to sit in front of him, you went into the seat beside him. No matter how weird it looked, to be seated in a booth beside each other, it looked like he needed someone right now. He wore a Nike sweater with basketball shorts and sneakers. You bring your hand to his cheek to lift it and get a good look at him. A sharp pain filled your body, seeing his tear-stained cheeks. He wasn't okay. Looking all worn out and out of place wasn't Yuta. He was always looking ethereal to everyone else. Why did he look so helpless? "Let's go to my apartment, I live a few minutes away." You whisper, watching him nod softly.

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It's nearing seven in the early hours of the evening. Yuta hasn't left your living room couch since he just had his heartbroken. It seemed to be that Jin Nyun broke up over text with Yuta telling him he wasn't enough to satisfy her needs. He also mentioned her telling him she met someone a couple of months ago and has been seeing him, but didn't she try sleeping with Doyoung? "Yuta, stop sulking over a girl who doesn't even have her priorities straight." You said, closing the freezer door with another tub of green-tea ice cream. "One year." He mumbled, almost incoherent, "I gave up a year of my life to be cheated on for god knows how long!" He barks. You hand Yuta the ice cream, before standing there, thinking. What could cheer him up? "Oh! I know!" You run into your bedroom, walking out with a bowl. "Suki, say hi to Yuta. He's feeling down... Make him happy, please?" You ask the Betta fish in the bowl before placing her on the coffee table in front of Yuta. "Wha-What?" He expressed his amusement from your odd liking towards this redfish. "Say hi to Suki, Yuta!" You cheer before pointing at Suki. "You're kidding me?" You turn to look up at you, with your hands placed on either side of your hips, 'She wasn't kidding' he turns back and hunched over to look into the bowl "Hi Suki."

"Are you still thinking about her?" You ask, nudging Yuta. "Surprisingly, no," He said, staring into the black screen. You raise a brow, curious. "I've been thinking about you." He sighs before looking at Suki, who was moved to the table beside the couch so she could 'get a better look at the movie.' "Oh?" This was interesting. Why would he think of you? Were you that significant to him now? "It's just that, you just took the day off... To take care of me." He mumbles. "It's not that big of a deal, I- you was hurt. Of course, I have to be there for you!" You fiddle with the blanket, "You're really important to me." The now tongue-tied boy's head shot up, turning to look at you. His bewildered face softened in moments before he gathered the courage to reply. "You're really important to me too." You rip the blanket off you, throwing it in Yuta's direction. "It's almost midnight. I think we need to eat dinner before bed." You tell him, making your way into the kitchen. "Before bed?" He asked. "You are spending the night, right?" You asked, stopping in your tracks. "Oh, Are you okay with that?" He asked, getting up and trailing behind you. You throw a quick 'Duh?' towards the boy earning a couple chuckles your way. He sat on the island stool, watching you pull together something some-what edible for you two tonight. "I want to apologize for the other night again, I shouldn't have assumed or acted like that," 'He said that out of the blue.' You though before scrunching up your face before cracking an egg, "I hope you like French toast." You say, dodging the unneeded apology.

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Nakamoto Enterprises. Never thought you'd walk into Yuta's building with a pair of jeans and a sweater. Most of your trips here were business-related, and you often showed up in a suit. "H-Hi Ms.S-Seo!" Yuta's assistant, Jungwoo, said, greeting you. "Hey Jungwoo, is Yuta out of his meeting yet? He promised me tacos," You said, rubbing your belly enthusiastically, earning a couple of giggles from the tall-boy. "Ah! I heard him mumble something about tacos earlier while fixing his dress-shirt." He said, remembering. Just then, you see Yuta walkout, Jungwoo covers his mouth, tilting towards you. "I heard he dyed his hair and got all dolled up for you Y/N, don't mess up." He said before waving goodbye and wandering off towards his associates. "New do?" You said, combing your fingers through Yuta's rosewood locks. "Just for you." He smiles before walking out with you. After his breakup with Jin Nyun, oddly, he's been on top of his game. You'd think you would have to take a week off to help the pain go away. You knew how much he loved her. Now? Now it was like the two of you had this new sort of bond.

What you weren't aware of was that Yuta has a new spot for you in his heart. Somewhere he held dear. Yuta never expected to move on that fast, but he knew you were always there, just waiting to break out and roam freely in his mind. You made his insides twist in a way Jin Nyun couldn't, but something in him knew it was too soon. "Something wrong?" You asked the boy zoning out at the red light, "No, I'm good." He replied, hand gripping the wheel. Although his mind was flooded with innocent, pure thoughts of you. Tonight, something in him wanted to tear you apart in his penthouse. Always chasing after something that didn't want to be chased after, or so he thought. "Can we get ice-cream... I finished the one at home." He contemplates what to do for a minute before answering proudly, "Nope!" He said. He looks so confident but, he almost melted when you called his place home. "Why not?!" "I'm cooking dinner." He replied, now focusing on the road. You huff and sit back in the seat, staring out the window. The beating in your heart, drumming loud in your ears. Is it possible he feels the same? Or is this way of coping without Jin Nyun... If you thought this evening couldn't get any better- you were wrong! Mark and Taeil decided to drop by while you hung around Yuta's suite. The four of you were feasting on the take-out the two boys brought over. Guess Yuta doesn't have to cook. "So, Mark, you're a producer?" You asked before taking a bite, "Yea, Johnny helps out sometimes." Oh? Johnny helping make music? I guess you could see that in a way, he does have a few specialties in the Arts. "Y/N! Congrats on ELLE, by the way!" Taeil interrupted loud and cheerfully. Your eyes crinkle at the sides while you show him a toothy grin. "I'm proud," Yuta said, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair.

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The winter chill settles in, as the streets were now covered in a thick blanket of white, footsteps and paw prints being crisscross along the sidewalks. You sported a simple city chic black coat pairing it with a white turtleneck long-sleeve sweater dress. You admit, though the layered clothing appeared to keep you all warm to the naked eye, your exposed legs seemed to be coated in goosebumps as you speeded towards the tall building. "No pants?" Haechan asked, handing you a coffee. "My mom's coming in today," You confess, Haechan's facial expression remained still as if he was already aware of your guest. "She's in your office, let me take your coat." You thank the younger boy before skipping into the elevator beside the main lobby. Before you reached the top floor, the lift stopped on the tenth floor. "Taeyong?" You ask, the man wearing a black mask with his suit. "Y/N? Oh my god, hey." Taeyong was a good friend of yours. He even works under you. Though you'd think having a comrade by your side while you are at your job, it had driven you two apart, both of you only meeting during promotional seasons. He was hired as one of your models and editors. Being successful, he often modelled for Taeil and Kun, another business associate of yours. Though losing a friend hurt horribly, you were still happy for Taeyong and his newfound profession. "Oh my god, I forget you're my boss sometimes," He said, removing his mask. "Haven't seen you in weeks." You chuckle softly before speaking, "We need to catch up, I heard you were the model for our ELLE issue, and you are going to star in an advertisement for Kun?" He nodded. "Kun wanted me and someone, named, Ten to star in the advertisement for his new diamond sets." Your mouth goes slightly agape at the mention of the name, immediately squealing to yourself. "Ten?! Ten Lee?!!! I've been begging his agency to have him model for us! How come Kun gets him that quick?!" Taeyong threw his head back slightly before erupting into a fit of laughter. You seriously were jealous, and it entertained the boy. The elevator stops on the 20th floor. "My stop. Good luck getting Ten. I'll tell him your hot. Maybe then he'll consider..." Taeyong joked before waving goodbye. The rest of the ride up was quiet. You made sure to fix the end of your dress before meeting with your mother. Exiting the chute, you made your way to make your mother a quick cup of coffee from the instant coffee machine. It was no macchiato but it'll make do.

"Why are you late?" Your mother questioned once you walked into the room. "I was just getting you coffee," You voiced before walking and taking a seat in front of your desk. Taking files and shoving it out of the way. Handing her the coffee, you finally take a sip on your drink, which was now as cold as the snowfall this season. "So, Mom. What brings you here?" You asked. "Can't I visit my daughter?" She replies, offended. "No, you can't." You scoff, "What do you want?" You interrogate, and that's when you see her shoulders drop as she grips the coffee cup. You knew it. "Listen, sweetheart..." You hum, she continues. "It's ... It's just that you're almost 25! An unmarried chairwoman is humiliating. I don't want Johnny or your father to be ashamed of you, so get your shit together is I give your hand in marriage to another man." Your mother scoffs, the innocent facade fading. Though she had no right to talk to you like that, it felt like a slap in the face. You thought that was the end of it, but no. She had more to get off her chest. "You're friends with Mr.Nakamoto, Mr. Kim, Moon, and that model kid Taeyong. All single. Yet you're still single. Get your shit together, Y/N. I can't always run after you-" "Leave." You were now standing up from the little office chair, pointing towards the door. This was wrong. You shouldn't be disrespectful to someone attempting to fix your own mistakes right? "Farewell then, Goodluck." Unfazed, she exits while you stood in the empty room, the silent room. The only detectable noises were the sound of hurried footsteps, the squeak of doors and the printers from co-workers.

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Saturday nights were known for the shenanigans Yuta, and you pulled. Though tonight, the two of you decided on dressing like sophisticated businesswomen and men, like you weren't already! Come on, you two are multimillionaires. Now, heading to Ryunique, a Fusion restaurant along Gangnam-gu. Today, you squeezed into the most elegant dress in your wardrobe. A black short tulle-skirt lace dress, the double-layered stand-up collar. Especially with your partner in crime who decided on wearing a black satin button-up dress shirt with black pants and his long hair slicked back. You two were the main attraction of the night for sure. "What if we pretended to have American accents?" You joked, exiting the car. "We don't even know English Y/N." The two of you broke into small fits of laughter. "All right, enough jokes. Let's head in." Patting the ends of your dress, you fix the watch on your wrist and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "Good evening," The tall man at the front desk immediately greeted, standing up and walking towards you two. "Hello, we've got reservations." He clicks his tongue before grabbing the laptop on the desk and placing it on the counter. "Name?" "Mr. and Mrs.Nakamoto." Okay, maybe you two took it too far, to look like a dirty rich couple coming to shower money on these restaurant folks, but it was all in good fun!

Did wealthy people seriously come here to spend hundreds on Pork Belly, Jowl and Shrimps? Damn right! It was delicious, "Yuta. Give me a bite, please...!!" You beg him. He ordered Beef and Salmon. In other words, tonight's special. "Finish what's on your plate first, Mrs.Nakamoto." He tells you, smiling, before cutting a piece of his Beef and placing it onto your plate. Since when were you so spoilt. By Yuta out of everyone. "I can't believe you made it seem like we were married," You said snickering. "I wasn't going to do that at first, but something about 'Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto' sounded nice." He plays with the leftover salad on the plate, "It has a nice tone to it, right?" If you weren't in a five-star restaurant, you would've choked, but in attempts to keep your cool at Yuta's shameless behaviour in public, you look up and give a smile. "Mhm! Perfect, we should use it more often!" There you were, fighting fire with fire. "Y/N- You can't just-!?" He stops in the middle of his sentence to fill his mouth with the salad. "Check!" He calls out, as you sit there playing with an olive. You sure do have him wrapped around your finger. Sadly, even Saturdays come to an end. "Shouldn't the guy be walking the girl home?" Yuta asked. "Right? I was thinking that. I guess I'm the man here." Playfully Yuta nudged you. Before pulling you close, his arm envelopes around you. "I'm a man." He assures more to himself than you, "Sure..." Dragging your feet towards Yuta's doorstep, you let out a yawn. "Oh god, I gotta play the man role now." He mumbles before unlocking his front door. "You're sleeping over. Can't have my damsel walk out alone in the dark." He whispers to your half-asleep figure leaning on the doorframe, dozing away.

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Your nose scrunches as your eyes take in every ray of light, and without a doubt, you know you've slept in today. What day was it? Was it still morning or past noon? Where is your phone? Wait, where were you? It took a little adjusting for your tired eyes to realize you were in Yuta's bedroom. Oh, you must have slept over. Looking to your right, you see shirtless Yuta, sprawled across the bed. Hold on. Catching a double-take on what you are looking at... shirtless Yuta... God is on your side today. He turns his head over, an evident smirk displayed. “Like what you see?” He asked, “As if!” You reply, taking the pillow from underneath your head and throwing it at him. “I’m gonna shower, make breakfast will ya?” You request, before marching into his bathroom. ‘What's that smell’ you wonder, skipping into the open kitchen. You’ve always admired the interior of Yuta’s place. Modern yet cozy. “I hope you’re craving egg fried rice.” Yuta said which you happily replied with a hungry growl. “Hungry as a hippo today!” You make your way behind him. You have this urge to back hug him, to wrap your slender arms around his waist, indulging in his scent. “Wh-What are you doing?” Yuta asked. He felt a shock when you wrapped around him, nuzzling yourself into his neck. “I don’t know..” You confess, before it hit you. “Oh my god..! I didn’t even know if you were okay with that! I am such a perv, why’d you go hug him Y/N! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...” You didn’t realize it there but Yuta turned off the stove when he turned around to grab your wrist from leaving, pulling you back into his embrace. This time he wraps his arms around you, pushing your head into his warm chest. His hand made it’s way to pet your head for a moment before he broke the embrace, the two of you got a glimpse at one another, safe to say he feels the same right? Yuta turns to reach up at the cabinet to serve the two of you. Walking over to his dining table he places the plates while you get some water. “Eat up Mrs.Nakamoto” He chirps, before sitting.

“Yuta I’m gonna wear your sweater!” You shout from his closet, “Mkay!” He replies. Yuta and you decided on skipping work, and spending your Sunday relaxing in his suite. Grabbing his basketball shorts and sweater you tie an extra tight knot on the waist so you didn’t have to hold it whenever you needed to move settings. “Wow, so cute.” He flirts watching you being swallowed by his clothing. “C’mere,” He pats a spot beside him, which you gladly accepted sitting cuddled up beside him. The two of you have still not confronted one another with the fact your feelings were now out in the open. He knew how deeply in-love you were with him, it was getting so hard to hide.. It kind of just, spilt. Yuta only confirmed his by hugging you back. It was more so a silent confession between the two of you. The promise to be with one another till the end of time being hidden somewhere in that heartwarming moment in the kitchen. “So, are we like?” You start, looking up at him to see him nodding with an eye crinkling smile. “Good.” You state, punching the air in victory. He places a kiss on the top of your head. A thank you.

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A year ago, today. You and Nakamoto Yuta came clean about your growing feelings for one another. Now you were happily in love. Work was the same as always. Only a few changes this year had occurred. Johnny, finally becoming a father. Taeyong had been promoted and was now working more flexibly, letting the two of you hang out. Lastly, but not least, you and Yuta. Not a peep from your mother since that day at the office and no word from Jin Nyun either. You've noticed her attempting to rekindle a spark on multiple occurrences, but as foretold, Yuta steered clear. Now you were living happily, right? Wrong.

It’s not everyday that your best friend comes back from the dead. On April 23rd, 2011, 15-year-old, Jaehyun, had been announced dead in a fatal car accident. The car drove off the Banpo Bridge in the middle of the night, which led the authorities to believe he was drunk driving. There was hope he was still out there, but as the years progressed, you lost hope. Jaehyun’s dream was to become a designer. Though you’ve always wanted to become an interior designer, in a way to pay your respects, you’ve followed his desired path. But, to say the least, you learnt to love this path. It’s where you met Yuta and the people you can call your closest. Now, almost ten years later. You receive a call. "Hello?" On the other end of the line, you could hear soft breaths. Feeling a little uneasy, you call Yuta. Who was idling on the couch, silently over to listen to whatever was going on? "Hello? Who is this?" You ask once more. The breathing halts and, you hear a flimsy cough, "Is this Y/N?" You look over to Yuta, who seemed concerned. "Y-Yes." You answer. The man laughs wholeheartedly for a minute too long before a pause. "Who is this?" You asked, "Jung Jae-" "Don't even finish. Is this some sort of cruel joke?! Who are you!?" You were furious. Yuta backs away to watch from a distance, but ready to comfort you if anything. "Who said I was joking? 66-2 Gongpyeong-dong, Jung-gu, Daegu. Thursday night." He finished with a smooching noise at the end of the line. He ends the call, and you adjust your seat on the island stool. "Jaehyun's dead, right?" You mumble to yourself, still audible to an oblivious Yuta. "Baby? Tell me what's on your mind. You know I'm here," He doesn't know Jaehyun. In fact, he has no clue about how you were in the past. The heartbreaks you've had. "Jaehyun." Yuta furrows his brows. Who is Jaehyun? A past lover, perhaps? Hopping off the stool, you make your way towards the master bedroom. Pulling out a duffle bag from underneath the bed. Although this phone call seemed like some sort of sick set-up, you couldn't help it. A small portion of you knew there could be a chance Jaehyun was still alive. 'Johnny and Jaehyun were friends too,' You thought. He must've been informed about his whereabouts if he was alive. Ding. Perfect timing, such an emotional time, being interrupted. Yuta calls you from the door.

"It's Johnny!"

The timing couldn’t be any better. Just in, that your elder brother had gotten a text, similar to the call you received. He ran into the bedroom, seeing you packing. Turning around, you noticed his suitcase in hand. “Did he?” Johnny questioned. How could he believe a mere text from an unknown number? You scoff, “Yea, I got a call, I don’t buy it though. He’s dead.” You fumed. “Then why are you packing?” He interrogated. He’s right, why were you? “I-I-I don’t know! Just- Just get in the car.” You throw the keys of your minivan off the bed towards Johnny, who catches it, happily. “Apparently I don’t exist. What the hell is going on!?” Yuta roared. Stopping your actions, you walk over to the boy standing behind Johnny. “Jung Jaehyun died in a fatal car accident in 2011. Someone is claiming that he’s alive.” You answered, watching his expression change from dumbfounded to intrigued. “Why does his death concern you guys?” He asked. “He is-was, my best friend.” Yuta brings his hand down towards your hand, grabbing to caress it with his finger. He could only imagine how dreadful this might be, “When he died... Did they find his body?” He asked. Cautiously. You suck in your breath in realization. No, they didn’t. Looking up to Johnny with a glint of hope glistening in your eyes. Was he really alive? “Go, I’ll take care of work.” He says after wrapping his arms around you. “Thank you." You whisper before grabbing Johnny and walking out. Yuta sighs, "She forgot her bag." He said to himself.

"We have to catch the next train Daegu." You say to Johnny, driving. "I booked our tickets as soon as I got the text. We board in two hours." Prepared as always. Johnny drives over the highway, lights on full beam. You watched how the bright lights played in the pouring rain. This was going to be the only time. You'd be close to relaxing before the next chain of events. But all your mind wandered to was Yuta. How Yuta was doing was your main concern as of now. You're nowhere near understanding how he must feel right now. "He's fine," Johnny interjected, knowing that face you made. "I hope so. We went from watching Netflix to this." You whisper. "It's Yuta, Y/N. He understands." He assured.

Now, here you were in a small but nicely decorated cafe on the outskirts of Daegu. It was Thursday morning, you weren't meeting potential Jaehyun until later this evening. But to take extra measures, you came by earlier to rent the cafe for the evening. Paying was generous. Johnny mentioned he'd be visiting his friend, and for you to fill him in on what went on tonight. He wasn't being selfish, leaving the work to you. It was more selfless than selfish. Johnny knows how much of a role Jaehyun paid to your life before and after. So leaving your first meeting after ten years to just the two of you was all you could've asked for. "Excuse me! Ms.Seo?" The cafe owner calls for you. "Since your guest won't arrive until later tonight, why don't I make you some brunch?" She offers, "Please? Haven't eaten since last night," You two share a small laugh before she heads off into the kitchen.'You're early.' A shiver ran down your spine as you read the notification. Jheez, couldn't Jaehyun just enter like a human and not some creepy pedophile. Came all the way from Seoul to see you, can't you be normal? 'Come in?' You hit send. Good thing you were meeting on a full stomach, or else you’d be a little over emotional. What’d he look like? Did he still had the shy boy persona? Or has he grown out of it? The questions that flooded your mind were interrupted by the chime of a bell, indicating someone has entered. “Y/N I missed you”

Meanwhile, at Nakamoto Enterprises. "Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun." The name lingered Yuta's mind. Did he know him from somewhere? "Jungwoo!" He shouts for his assistant, who dashes in. "Yes?!" Yuta looks out the bay windows, contemplating his own move. "Jung Jaehyun. Who is he?" He asked, still gazing at the rainy window. "He is one of the three founders of JYX Co. He requested a meeting with you last month, something about investing." Jungwoo said, reading off the tablet in hand. Impossible. If he died, then why? He must've been trying to score a meeting with Yuta after hearing about his relationship with you. But that’s not where he knows Jaehyun from, is it?

Sitting in an empty coffee shop with your proclaimed dead best friend was horrifying but still patched up a hole in that broken heart of yours. “Can’t believe it's you...” You said happily, towards Jaehyun. He grew. Going from the lanky fifteen-year-old to a well built and sophisticated man. After rekindling the friendship, he mentioned what happened that night. "Everything you heard is correct, I drove off the Banpo bridge." He started. "But I was pulled out by this older man by the shore. He took me in and brought me to his place in Daegu." He stops to look up at you. "So, you just decided to start new?" You ask. He nods. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to come home. I'm sorry for what I put you through." He apologized. Though a regular person would've been fuming at the fact he just up and left. You were just relieved. "It's okay, Jae. You're here now." You smile, continuing. "I became a designer for you, and frankly, I'm loving it." He laughs, grasping your hand resting on the table. "I know, I've been keeping tabs on you." He confesses. "So, Nakamoto Yuta." He says, watching your cheeks redden. "What about him?" You huff, in a childish manner. "One year? When is he gonna put a damn ring on it?!" He joked, watching you cover your face. "I don't know..." You mumble, "Anyways, Johnny's at Minhyuk's place. Wanna go?"

⋆

"I knew you sounded familiar," Yuta spoke, seeing Jaehyun walk-in with you this afternoon. "Huh?" What was he going on about? "That's the first thing you say when you see me? No 'I miss you'?" Jaehyun mused but laughed aloud when Yuta hands him a strawberry shake. "No, but is that enough?" He threw a wink, "Still remembering my favourite drink too, huh?" Jaehyun said. You stood behind, dumbfounded. "Hold on... You two know each other?" You question amazed. "Oh yea, Yuta was my roommate in uni." Yuta made his was beside you, making sure to give you a tight hug before a kiss, which made Jaehyun and Johnny gag. You sit on the large living room couch, Yuta's arm wrapped around you. Jaehyun on your other side, sharing a bag of chips with you. A film you were definitely not paying attention to playing on the screen, too distracted in your thoughts. Jaehyun was home. You were home in Yuta's arms. The two most important men back in your life. If you heard this was how you'd end up, you wouldn't believe it. The chances of getting together with Nakamoto Yuta. A name with millions of dollars tied to it, and finding your best friend again, Jaehyun, whom you thought was gone forever. Whatever you did in your past life, seriously paid off.

This is my happily ever after.

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quirklessidiot · 3 years

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What kind of parents would gojo and yn be IF they did have a kid? In the what if scenario of her getting pregnant, how would they handle the whole pregnancy too?

i feel like satoru would have to move y/n to a more secure area :( so he'd be an absentee father because he'd want to keep y/n and the kid safe :( that's lesser times to see each other i believe. y/n wouldn't mind ofc! i jsut feel like they'd both want to keep their children out of reach from the elders (esp if ur looking into what satoru is doing and how he wants the kid away from the current world of jujutsu...plus lets say hypothetically the kid turns out to be a girl (impossible in y/ns side but lets say hYPOTHETICALLY) he’d def not want the girl to be exposed to that sort of thing)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. Another for the playlist

Can y/n relate to the line at 00:53 i rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you? Or is she still "i wanna live no matter what"?

:)))))

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. Does gojo have pics of her in his phone? How about y/n? Or is she too tech ignorant for that?

headcannon time honestly them as a couple who has more polaroid or those film cameras idk (satoru only has a work phone that he rarely uses and y/n finds cellphones too out of reach goodbye grandma) so you’ll be seeing more photo albums and satoru keeping a polaroid pic on his wallet (simp) hipster couple tinsgz idk T-T plus i think he’s all about putting them around the house where it can be seen by everyone (like their new pic in sendai) + i feel like he’s also developed a weird hobby on photography now that he has a subject.

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. What kind of hairstyles does gojo put her hair in?

anything that can keep her hair away from her face (uh i think hes always noticed how y/n likes to keep her hair away from her face, it’s why he likes tucking the strands behind whenever he sees it fall welp, u can imagine whatever hairstyle u want tho!!)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. Does y/n still get dressed in a separate room or does satoru go out to give her the privacy?

she has a walk in closet, she usually dresses up there but i dont think she minds being bare these days bcos satoru is usually still asleep when shes changing (y/n the early riser)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. Looking back at how they started, during the wedding and after what did they do? Did they even talk to each other? Were they together during the wedding? And after did gojo just change to his regular wear and get back to work when it was finished leaving her by herself for months?

satoru deadass didnt want to do anything with y/n, he literally just walked out after they were finished with the wedding (after telling sum people to buy her whatever she needs). the second scene is literally a few months after the wedding and he didnt have time to do the laundry on his own so he went home just to do it and left after. minazuki!satoru more or less just saw y/n as a fly that time (and y/n didn’t mind as well)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. What does y/n do when she's mad at satoru? The type of mad when little annoying things they do pile up and becomes an issue.

rn? i feel like she would try to call him out on his bs honestly. its not like she can hide it for a long time (satoru had always said honesty was so mhm between them so she wouldnt bother hiding it)

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. What is y/n's view on the idea of love?

rn its more positive <3 in her perspective its more or less a generous thing between two individuals that everyone should experience.

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. Does y/n still wear yukata at their new home or does she go for a more modern look now?

depends! she does wear traditional clothing sometimes but she wears modern wear sometimes as well. usually when she sout doing groceries or when she and satoru go on brunch dates or go gardening shopping she wears those cute dresses

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. I remember there were among us related asks before so bringing that back. How good is y/n at among us if she played? Is she good at lying and gaslighting others? Will she always vote out gojo XD

yes she will. she’ll win that game. she’ll def beat satoru in chess, as well.

𝔄𝔫𝔬𝔫. "I can never get mad at you"

Used you as chess piece

Not mad

Possibly projecting an ex on him

Mad

Gojo will forgive her for almost anything but if she cheats even emotionally that's gonna end badly 😔

Satoru had stated that he wouldnt have stayed angry with the haibara thing as he stated in ch13, how his mouth may say another thing but truly within his heart, he probably felt something else ahha so </3 he would literally forgive her for anything. its, i believe, the effects of having geto walk out on him so he’d be desperate to keep y/n within arms reach (in some way <3)

#pat.talks #customer.feedback #📝📝.minazuki mini series #tw.pregnancy #fluffy asks #yay #ehehehe #two angsty asks in here but well

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hajimeow-archived · 3 years

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Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!

#do not fucking underestimate me #i feel like i'm not allowed to talk about myself in conversation so when i'm asked like this you're NOT hearing the end of it #kinblr #fictionkin #hajime hinata kin #nagito komaeda kin #putting this in tags bc theres so much and. i dunno ajdjdjsjdk #kin talk #ask #bestie neko 💕

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c0untb00z · 4 years

Text

I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

#vampire #dracula #dracula2020 #bbc dracula #bbc dracula 2020 #3 am essays cause im pissed #dracula bram stoker #bram stoker #draculaxreader apparnetly

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mapleshmaple · 6 years

Note

YELLOW!! and/or anyone u choose pleasee💗💗💗

YELLOW: What do you do when you try to make your F/O happy? What do they do for you?

IM GONNA DO TH MATSUS AND UF PAP N US SANS FOR THIS CUZ IM A GREEDY STINKY THAN K YOU FOR MY LIFE ILY YOU WEENIE

Osomatsu:

For making him happy, I’d try to set up a quiet night in for him, with some shitty movies and some take out and see if that helps? and keep commentary going throughout the movie so we can both make fun of it/how terrible the acting is! and if he just wants to get out of the house n’do something then i’d suggest going to the race track or something, maybe even just walking to the park and sitting on the swings to get some fresh air.

For him making me happy, i can see him trying the same thing i do to make him happy? but also amping up his jokes and being extra silly and trying to get me to smile/laugh. also tries to initiate a lot of hugs and pda nshit cuz he knows i love cuddling but im scared to ask. That or we just end up napping together, while he runs his fingers through my hair/pets me cuz he knows how fast it calms me down/knocks me out ghjkhmh--

Jyushimatsu:

For making him happy, I’d kinda go about it the same way as i do with oso? Just offer little distractions to take his mind off of whats bugging him, and not force him to talk about whats got him in such a funk. I think that when he’s having a particularly rough day, he gets kinda lethargic? so it’s prime time for comfort cuddling and just quietly praising him while petting his hair.

For him making me happy, i think he’d try to surprise me? either with flowers that he pulled out of the ground or with some food he picked up on the way over, or even with a harmless prank/joke! he also wraps me up nice n tight in a big hug cuz he knows i like the added weight and he tries not to crush me, and peppers kisses all over my face and tells me how much he loves me in between kisses. also butterfly kisses. lots of butterfly kisses and nose nuzzling.

Paprika:

For making him happy, i’d just try leaving little notes and reminders where i know he’d find them? or doing little things that he doesn’t have time to get to, like either cleaning up something or getting sans to (partially) clean up something of his thats been bothering pap. also i feel like he’d really like devils food cake or red velvet? so if he’s having a really rough week, im gonna break out the baking supplies and make him a bunch of cupcakes or something to that effect.

For him making me happy...He’s going to at least attempt to swallow his pride and initiate some cuddling n’stuff, like pulling me onto his lap like we’re watching something and nuzzling the top of my head. I feel like he’d also put on music and guide me around the room, trying to show me how much i mean to him because he’s having trouble getting the words out...and just kinda spoiling me with little things, cuz he knows that i get embarrassed/worried about big gestures n’stuff along those lines.

Blue:

For making him happy, i’d try to keep an eye out for things that i think he might like when im out and about? like i got this really soft constellation blanket the other day that i think he’d love!! we could make a pillow fort and drape that over the top of it and star gaze inside, one night. or even just gently holding his hand and kissing his knuckles, each one individually, and giving him a reason i love him with every peck. oOH and!! and i’d try to like, learn how to make one of those space themed/galaxy cakes/cupcakes or something along those lines to surprise him, cuz i think he’d get a real kick out of it? or even get him some glow in the dark stars for his room or something, maybe stick em on our blanket!

For him making me happy, i think he’d binge old cartoons/animes with me? like stuff we’ve been meaning to sit down and watch, or stuff ive been meaning to show him, and do a quiet commentary through it cuz we’re both movie talkers. we’d end up jsut coiled around each other no matter what, either with me in his lap or the two of us spooning somehow. he’d also try to dance with me, and put on something nice and slow and romantic and we can just kinda shuffle around the room together, with his forehead pressed against mine and my arms wrapped around his neck ever so carefully.

#writing #asks #busaneko #GJHKMH I GOTTA MAKE MYSELF A TAG FOR THESE FUCKERS AT SOME POINTN BUT FOR NOW IM TIRED N GONAN CRASH #BTU THANK YOU??? FOR SENDINGN THIS IN AND FOR THE COMPLIMENT ON MY WRITING NJUNK #I LOVE OUY!!!!! BITHC!!!! NEVER GONAN STOP LOVIN YOU BTIHC

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anoracle · 6 years

Note

002: for any of my messy children wjegjl

are u ready for a monster of a post???

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

Soren Song:

How I feel about this character: i don’t think i have new ways to tell you how much i love his boy???? and he’s been through so many changes from when you first started playing him in sus, i can’t believe the boy you have now and how much i love him and how much you still put in that childish innocence in him that comes out in bursts in his threads that’s both so soft and heartbreaking all at once bc he’s this giant tragedy of all his wants and fears and not fully able to tell them apart anymore???? and wanting to be loved so much but he still destroys some of his relationships by testing that and wanting to keep up this image he has that’s this plaything that’s destroying himself and being destroyed by others, i hate and love you and some other day i’ll rant AGAIN on how much i love your characterization and writing in general and level of characterization you do, teach me ur ways

All the people I ship romantically with this character: soren x something soft bc i will fight for soft things for this boi u can’t stop me, BUT ALSO, soren/link, soren/noah, lowkey soren/li hua hateship

My non-romantic OTP for this character: soren x lenny, soren x emme, soren x carter, soren x xue, soren x aura, soren x noah

A headcanon with my character: what headcanons don’t we have for emme/soren, but Here We Go Again: so emme having a soft vision of an older soren when she was a young kiddo, imagine a parallel of this when she has another vision of him just before she met him of the soren he will become years from now and just the chaos spiral, and we talked about her knowing the direction he’s heading in, but not fully before they became friends i think? or having a drawing of that too somewhere, one she would try to hide from herself, but not throw away, maybe hidden under her bed, and he could find this one and recognize himself and the person he’s becoming, and the subtle conversations of emme always kind of knowing where he was going and always treating him as she did despite it, or even thinking he could be the one she could finally save/change the future for, and him having not just a hint of what he’s becoming, but a real image and real proof of what he looks like beyond himself, and her having to come to terms with the idea that this isn’t it, him feeling the acceptance from her, but what we talked about too of just him testing that loyalty in Terrible ways

My OTP: I don’t KNow I don’t KNOW, i see u and soj with link and soren, but also where is someone that will not hurt this boy, but Importantly, who this boy won’t hurt and things Longlasting, and everything is hurting my heart

My OT3: if i didn’t say soren/emme/carter i’d be a traitor against myself; soren/li hua/noah even tho i still don’t know really what’s happening???

Sol Qiao:

How I feel about this character: OKAY i know too well about u wanting sol as just this chaos wrecker and turning character development on its head and u are doing so well and this woman is killing me one step further with each thread and headcanon i read????? all while i love everything you do with her characterization and her simply being her, she had this power you can read in your writing of her, this confidence and control she has over everything she does, featuring being so unapologetic about what she’s doing and she’s so manipulative and secretly in control of so much shit around her that she’s this shadow in people’s lives without them knowing, but she Knows and that’s so fun to read and have as a character around, along with her kind of jealousy and want to be this Sole figure in people’s lives sometimes???? keep on killing me with her???

All the people I ship romantically with this character: tbh sol/laurel, i need no explanation. sol/ceydran?? sol and just wrecking shit like she deserves, sol and golden things, sol/me

My non-romantic OTP for this character: sol x li hua, sol x emme, sol x link, sol x lenny, sol x xue, sol x aura, really sol and all these kids she’s mothering or jsut being lovely (Terrible) with, ending my life for

A headcanon with my character: malachi and sol things, when will they not murder me??? i’m still dead at them watching movies together and just those small things we’ve mentioned besides all the shit he does for her just for a taste of blood and at some point for his own wants beyond blood and loss of humanity she’s supporting, and OKAY, but let’s talk about the beyond things and all the little things he does for her bc he could do a lot - lowkey casual bodyguard when they go places even though she doesn’t need it really but the image of a bodyguard helps, reminder of who’s the boss here???? mal and cleaning up her messes that don’t involve blood, it’s just making sure she isn’t bothered where she goes?? mal and sol and him cooking dinners for her and both of them knowing the last time he really cooked it was for a big family and know just him and maybe sol. and just like the movies they watch together, just really pretentious things too

My OTP: idk yet but i know in my heart, it’s probably a power couple and/or gay

My OT3: noah/ceydran/sol as what the fuck is happening?? sol/laurel/marci as ladies that could kill me and i’d let them

Theo Nam:

How I feel about this character: i need 10 million rants daily about this boy!! and i know you don’t write softs often and you are doing great my sweet babe this boy!!! theo has killed me everyday since idea of him came up and there’s a really tragic aspect of him that comes up so much in threads and is weaved into how he treats people and how he behaves that’s so nervous and being slightly separated from the world and people, while still being so apart of the world in a way, but really like as roots, as nature and maybe it’s people that don’t understand him and not the other way around bc he’s in this inbetween place of living??? and something that i’ve loved to read too is his possible fall into madness and how he’s facing that or just the way he is around those like nadia and kanta and omari and where that could lead with his character is really interesting bc the questions of what is his mental health with or without these influences around him too

All the people I ship romantically with this character: theo/emme bc u know who i am, theo/aura????, theo x being happy dammit, theo x soft things, theo x sleeping

My non-romantic OTP for this character: theo x cat, theo x kanta, theo x ceydran, theo x omari as terrible things, theo x xue, theo x mal

A headcanon with my character: u know i’m always on my bullshit with softness??? and we’re talking about theo and emme and relearning what family is supposed to be like while they’re both kinda blind together about it?? and pillowtalk of what they think family should feel like - the questions emme’s asking though about what having a big family is like and small stories of living on the farm and only the soft things and stories of emme going through magazines pretending people were her parents and really using tv references for what she thinks family is like, and where this all just develops, from the sad things to the things they idealize about families and silent trying for redefinitions of people that will leave. and then the soft, lowkey sad things of them talking about homes like in the thread now as this dream-like place before maybe they turn real and start to sound like real plans and places bc emme probably associates family too with specific places w/ all their moving around or at least being together, and now their dates in cities but they go stores too just to walk around, casual mention of things they like but know right now they can’t have in any place, before family can be full defined as people and feelings without past pain and having family be something seeming out of reach??

My OTP: theo x emme bc i enjoy nice things for my children

My OT3: nadia/kanta/theo as the worst thing to ever happen in my life??? theo/ceydran/emme as soft funfair things thanks

@fcxxes

#fcxxes #u Knew i'd do all three #so this is a monster post but made out of love

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spaceywormy · 7 years

Text

hey wanna see the first draft for my short story for creative writing class? no? i’m posting it anyway

Yellow Tape

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” Alex says, curling the cord of his earbuds around his fingers.

“Are you kidding me? You’re not some white guy in Hawaii, Ax!” DJ argues, turning around to walk backwards, facing his friend. “I beg of you, remove the goddamn floral button-down.”

“Never,” Alex says dramatically. “It’s hot out, I couldn’t wear my sweater.”

“But why did you wear a floral button-down?! It’s like you do this just to piss me off.”

Alex looks over at DJ with one eyebrow raised, a smug smile on his face. DJ goes to knock his baseball hat off, but the back of his foot catches on the uneven pavement and he stumbles backwards. He lets out a high-pitched squeak as he falls, his backpack catching the brunt of the fall. He looks up to see Alex trying and failing to hold in laughter. Alex helps him up, and they continue the walk home.

“At least I’m dressed for summer,” Alex says, bumping DJ’s shoulder with his own as he walks beside him. “I thought you were gonna pass out today in gym with your giant hoodie.” DJ elbows Alex in the ribs, which starts a shoving-fight that eventually ends with DJ stumbling into his front yard fence. A small mutt comes running up to the fence, barking like mad. DJ laughs and reaches over the fence to pet his dog, Mikha, who snaps at his hand before licking it and quieting down.

“Wanna come in?” DJ asks, turning towards Alex. Alex is staring down the road with a blank look on his face, eyes slightly glazed over. “Alex?”

Alex blinks and seems to come back to reality, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I asked if you wanted to come in.” DJ leans against the fence and drops his worn backpack on the ground next to him. “I’ve got food, and Apocalypse of the Damned 2.”

“No, I should, um… I should get home. The sun’s gonna set soon.”

DJ frowns, staring at his friend. “I thought your parents didn’t care.”

For a moment, Alex looks like a deer caught in the headlights. “Oh, I-- They’re, uh, starting to care more, y’know?

DJ pushes himself off the fence and takes a couple steps towards Alex, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

Alex shrugs him off. “I’m doing fine. My parents just want me home tonight, I dunno why.” His voice is slowly getting more annoyed, and DJ backs off.

“Okay, whatever you say.” He sighs, not wanting the day to end on a bad note. “I’ll… see you tomorrow, ‘kay?”

Alex nods. “Later.” He starts walking down the road to his house, not looking back once. DJ frowns and opens his gate, nudging Mikha back with his foot. Mikha whines, looking up at him.

“You know me so well,” DJ says quietly, closing the gate and sitting down on the grass. Mikha jumps into his lap and licks his face, making him laugh and push his dog away. “Mikha, down! It don’t feel right to be laughing.” DJ notices a nearly torn apart tennis ball lying a few feet away and stretches to grab it, tossing it across the small backyard. Mikha goes wild, running after it and barking. DJ gets up and leans over the fence to grab his backpack before heading inside, closing the door before Mikha can ram himself into the gap and get inside too.

DJ runs upstairs and throws his backpack onto his bed, taking his phone out of his back pocket. He’s not sure what it could be, but he feels like he did something wrong when he was talking to Alex. It’s not like Alex to get annoyed at him like that, especially after something as small as pushing too much during a conversation. He feels the need to apologize indirectly anyways, so DJ dials Alex’s number and starts pacing around his small bedroom.

The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. It stops ringing.

DJ pulls the phone away and stares at it, frowning. He sits down on his window ledge, leg starting to bounce as he sends Alex a question mark via text. Alex replies a moment later with “srry, cant talk. whst is it”

DJ responds back with “uh wanna have a sleepover? i got lotsa food” He waits for five minutes, staring anxiously at his phone. As soon as he had sent the text, it showed that Alex had read it. After four minutes, the three bubbles indicating that Alex is typing pop up before disappearing. They repeat this for a full minute before a short response comes in. “cant, i think im getting sick”

“that sucks,” DJ types back, lying on his back in the window seat and pressing his feet against the miniature ceiling of it. “i can bring u uhhh soup or smth”

“m jsut gonna rest.” Alex’s final response concerns DJ. Alex doesn’t have autocorrect turned on, but it’s usually a red flag that he’s upset when he’s making typos. DJ goes to ask if he’s okay, but remembers how Alex reacted when he asked that earlier today. He gives up and puts his phone down, sitting up on the seat. His stomach grumbles and he gets up to stretch and walk downstairs. His mother had left a small note on the counter, listing what she’d bought and what’s being saved for a family reunion coming up next week.

DJ grabs a soda and walks over to the couch, flopping onto his back and turning on the television. Nothing good is on, so he switches to the news to serve as background noise. As he stares at the ceiling, something catches his ear.

“The gang of rogue scalebloods known as the Talon Ring are now travelling the country, terrorizing local youths. The president has theorized that the gang is infecting people by awakening the dragon blood that may be in their systems,” the reporter on the tv says. DJ sits up and stares at the screen as pictures start flashing across it. “Half-scales all over the country are being harassed by humans who believe that any blood containing scales should be spilled.” The report suddenly stops, and switches to another scene with a man speaking urgently.

“This is breaking news for the area of Lake Fortitude. Rogue scalebloods assumed to be affiliated with the Talon Ring were seen wandering the streets of at eleven-am today. Authorities urge you to lock your doors and windows, especially half-scales. Police are searching the city for the gang. Updates on the situation will come hourly. Stay safe, citizens of Fortitude.”

DJ stares at the screen, mouth hanging open. The Talon Ring, patrolling Fortitude. No way. He springs off of the couch and runs to the front window, staring out into the street. He doesn’t see anything, save for a couple of his neighbors closing their shutters or drawing their curtains. DJ lets in Mikha and feeds him, foregoing a meal for himself. His stomach is turning slightly and he’s lost his appetite.

Alex.

The thought hits him like a brick. DJ sits up, eyes wide as he snatches his phone out of his pocket and dials Alex’s number. He stares out the window at the darkening sky, relief flooding his chest when he hears Alex pick up.

“Hello?” Alex’s voice sounds scratchy, almost distorted.

“Are your parents home?” DJ demands.

“What? No.” Alex seems to realize his mistake and scrambles to fix it. “I mean-- uh--”

“I’m coming over.”

“Wait, no, you don’t know-- just, no, don’t come over” Alex begs. DJ hesitates at the sincerity and desperation in Alex’s voice, but his mind is set.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes.” DJ hang up and grabs his backpack, setting his books aside and grabbing a first aid kit and a pocketknife, shoving them in alongside a phone charger and a sketchbook. He slings the backpack over his shoulder and makes sure he locks the front door behind him as he leaves.

Alex doesn’t live too far from DJ. DJ lives on Elk Street and Alex lives on South Niman, which is only three blocks from Elk. DJ walks quickly down the street, looking behind him every few seconds. Squirrels dropping acorns from the trees turn into menacing footsteps that have DJ whirling around with his knife halfway out of his pocket after every other step. He feels his heart starting to beat faster and takes a moment to calm himself down, decidedly avoiding having a panic attack in the street. He doesn’t have much time to keep walking, though, before three police cars zoom past him and turn down Alex’s street in the distance. DJ feels his stomach drop as the worst possibility becomes the only thing he can think about. DJ starts to run.

Worn tennis shoes slap against the pavement, accompanied by the frantic breathing of the sprinting teenager. DJ turns a sharp corner, nearly tripping over himself. He keeps running regardless, not stopping until he sees a familiar house in the distance. He stops for a moment, and his heart seems to stop beating as he sees three police cars surrounding the house, lights flashing. He feels heat building up behind his eyes and doesn’t bother blinking it away before breaking back into a run, racing up to the house. As he gets closer, a police officer outside steps towards him and puts a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back slightly.

“Sorry kid, you can’t be here,” the police officer tells him.

“What happened?” DJ speaks past the lump in his throat, jerking the hand off his shoulder. He know he looks and sounds frantic and probably a little insane, but he couldn’t care less.

“Go home,” the officer says firmly. “You can’t be here.”

“Where’s Alex?!”

“I’m not gonna tell you again, kid--” The officer is cut off by a strangled, bloodcurdling scream from inside the house. DJ feels his heart drop from his throat to his shoes. He shoves past the officer, ignoring her shouting. He runs as fast as he can to the front door and throws it open, only to be greeted by something that makes his entire body go numb.

Alex is curled up on the floor of his living room, breathing heavily. The back of his sweater is torn to shreds and absolutely soaked in blood. Protruding from his head at the hairline are two small horns, and sticking out from his back are two glossy wings, dripping in blood. DJ feels himself stumbling backwards, his head buzzing and his mind reeling. The house is completely dark, and out of the shadows steps a creature. A creature with large green wings, two twisted horns on her head, and a thin, shining tail that tapers to a serrated point. A scaleblood.

The woman looks surprised at DJ’s appearance, but her face quickly morphs into a smug smile. Her eyes are a blend of green and yellow, and they feel like they’re burning into DJ’s skull.

“This your friend?” she asks, pointing down at Alex. DJ looks back down at Alex, whose panting has turned to pained whimpering. His new wings are twitching, and each movement draws a small, heartbreaking shriek of pain from him.

“What did you do?” DJ whispers, breaking out of his petrified state to kneel beside his friend.

“I brought him to life,” the woman answers smoothly. “You’re welcome.”

“It--” DJ swallows the lump in his throat and tries to put as much venom into his voice that he can. “It doesn’t look like it.” His voice wobbles, and the venom falls short.

DJ looks down at his friend, who’s shaking like a chihuahua. He sees tears streaming down Alex’s face and reaches down to brush one away, but jerks his hand back as Alex screams “No!”

“How do I help him?” DJ asks, looking up to stare at the scaleblood.

The smirk drops from the woman’s face, and she looks up at the police officers waiting for command outside the house. Guns are aimed at the windows, and more cars are pulling up behind the three stationary ones. “Go,” she says quietly. “Take him away from here. The other Talons and I will make a distraction. Take him to the sea.”

“To the sea?” DJ blanches. “Are you insane?”

“He needs it,” the woman insists, kneeling on the other side of Alex. “Go, now.”

DJ looks from the woman’s face down to Alex, who’s trying to take steadying breaths.

“Okay.”

After wrapping Alex’s wings and back with as much cloth and gauze as he can find, DJ sits back and looks at his backpack. He shoves his phone in his hoodie pocket along with his charger, and keeps the knife in his jeans pocket. He takes the small bottle of antiseptic from the first aid kid and puts it in his jeans pocket. He looks down at his backpack and nods to himself, turning away from it. He nudges Alex. “I’m gonna carry you, okay?” he says gently. “Like a koala.” Alex nods wordlessly, still staring at the floor. DJ picks him up with difficulty, holding him like a baby. Alex buries his face in DJ’s shoulder, holding on tightly.

“Where do I go?” DJ asks the woman. “We’re surrounded.”

The woman’s wings fold out and she gestures towards the back door. DJ carries Alex out into the backyard and the woman grabs him, lifting him up into the air. As they’re lifted over the roof of the house, DJ sees five other scalebloods burst out the front door and attack the police. He forces himself to look away as guns go off and screams rip through the air, most of which coming from humans. He hears Alex make a pained noise and holds him tighter.

The woman drops the two of them on the rocky shore of Lake Fortitude. She drops to the ground, her wings drooping as she catches her breath. DJ loosens his grip on Alex but doesn’t let go, scooting backwards on the rocks. The woman stands up after a moment and looks at them both.

“Good luck, kid,” she says to DJ. “You’ve got a dragon on your hands now.” With that, she stretches her wings and shoots into the air, flying back in the direction of Alex’s neighborhood.

DJ looks down at Alex and pinches his arm to get his attention. “I’m gonna let go, ‘kay?” Alex nods, and DJ carefully lays him down on the rocks. DJ stands up, looking out onto the lake. He reaches into his hoodie pocket and takes out his phone. He turns it on and sends a text to his parents: “i love you. i’ll be back one day.”

He makes sure it sends before shutting off his phone and throwing it as far as he can, watching it disappear into the dark water with a distant splash.

wow what a journey if you’ve made it this far, i uhh applaud you cause this is long and hard to read if you didn’t like it, pleeeaaase drop an ask and tell me what i can change!! i wanna Learn and get a good grade on my assignment

#i dunno what to tag this as but it's pretty gay #like not e x t r e me l y gay cause it's for school but like #it's still gay don't question me #not art

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hyun-seong · 6 years

Note

HOW ARE YOU LATELY? I want to check on you haha

IM SURVIving thank you for checkin in on me ;A; THATS SO NICE OF U...

IM JUST Like sad constantly because my mom is having major surgery at the end of the month because of her aggresive cancer came out so they gotta take like...EVERything out and the heal time and repercussions for that are just awful and my mom is like my bestfriend so its like seeing my mom and bestfriend in pain at the same time, she really is the strongest person i know

AND THEn i dont get to be around the person i love so its a hard feeling knowing theyre out there and ur not around them so its like smfh....kick me while im down huh life

ANDA Few months ago my grandma moved in with us and...i love her because shes my grandma but shes not really a good woman and shes super annoying and she brought her dog and i am not a dog person and her dog is just...i dont want to disparage the dog too bad because i know people like dogs but okay her dog is just so mopey and miserable and it barks but it just isnt a dog it like just...sits and looks....it like doesnt feel joy, and whenever i eat it whines at me and i literallyhave to go the garage to eat or wait until like 10pm until everyone is asleep because i hate the noise of dogs sooo much also its just got these constant red eyes and can barely walk and its got warts all over its body and just lookin at it reminds me of disease and death and i.....dont know why she couldnt have left it with her husband because LOOK...we’re only allowed 2 pets where we live and we already had 3 cats and shes blowing our cover

SO I JSUT CRY...ALL THE TIME...and i barely taste what i eat anymore im just so emotionally devoid of any good emotions LOLLL NOT SAYing that to be like pity me or anything i just figured HEY IF U ASK ...I WILL DANG OL TELL YOU

im working really hard to make sure things get better but its hard when so many things are just not ...in your favor, sometimes it gets hard because in my life i have done everything right, i have never done anything wrong, and it feels like im being punished even still , i get punished because i cant drive because i have a fine motor disability and I GET OVERWHELMED TOO EASY....so its always like learn to drive so you can help ur mom AND I WANT TO IVE TRIED AND TRIED but its SOOO hard and then i just feel so bad that i want to take a toaster bath so they dont have to bother me about it because its like they cant ask me to drive if im not alive right (DONT WORRY im not going to do it, dont send me any messages, i know im more useful alive) and its like my sister literally packed up and moved across the country and im such a bad kid because i cant drive?? at least i stayed and then it feels like im being punished because of the person i love, like i didnt tell my brain to do what it did it just Did That™ and its like more insanely hard than i really ever could have imagined that theres people that truly hate your union THAT much and if its random people IDC they can be bitter but its like....theres no accolades?? theres no happy announcements, theres no....support? theres just worrying if someone finds out about you then he gets disowned, or if he leaves to be with me im the white homewrecker and i am so terrible even though i take care of him better than his whole family combined, its hiding, and its telling my grandmother no you cant make small eyes jokes and no you cant say oriental but it doesnt matter because i wont let him near her if i can help it because thats not fair for him, its looking up how to say white slurs in cantonese so you know when theyre talking about you you fuckin gwailou (if you speak cantonese please tell me all the white slurs lol) its just...hard and theres never been a moment i wanted to take it back, or thought I didnt want to do it anymore, but they really really never tell you how hard it can get so let that be a warning to any amwf couples out there lol and i just feel like why am i being punished over a woman who barely took care of her kids, who barely was good to her own mother when she was old, why do i have to live with a dog and why do i have to eat on the ground of a cold garage for a person like that? why do i have to hear here complain about me to my parents because i stay in my room or i dont talk enough, why is she so afraid of me she passes notes to my mother in front of me so she can tell me things, in my own HOUSE where I should be able to be autistic in PEACE. why am i being punished i just dont understand how you can do everything right and it doesnt even matter in the end ??? why did i bother never being wrong???

OK ..TALKED THATS HOW IM DOING...but im gonna keep giving it all i got.mp3

youtube

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toomanyskeletons · 7 years

Note

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

2. what’s their favourite colour?

Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

3. What makes them laugh?

Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

5. Do they have any annoying habits?

-this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it��s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

7. What are their religious beliefs?

Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

9. How do they react to confrontation?

Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

10. Do they have a criminal record?

Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

11. What’s their favourite plant?

Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

12. Can they play any instruments?

Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

13. What are they proudest of?

Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

#my writing #my ocs #violetmanicwave

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throwawayblog-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Dirk @prettyboypng or mod jas @gbptboys is a pedophile and manipulative

@prettyboypng other URLs he’s used include aroacehawkeye, planet-eater, dyscalculiacdonnie, officialbrobot, ocpdmaxie, bipolardirk, deadglitchkid, circuitsbreaker, swordself, deadmettaton, soulrxsonance, chipotanakni, and shadeslayer

i’ve included specific warnings in front of paragraphs and receipts, but global cws for suicide baiting, emotional abuse, csa, pedophilia, and child porn solicitation.

whether you read this or not, i would strongly recommend blocking and staying far away from dirk if you’re a minor.

uhh, i’ve never made one of these things before. i am writing this post because he’s continually managed to brush his actions off and manipulate how people perceive him so he just seems like a victim of unfortunate friend drama, and with the content of his actual actions, i find this frankly really fucking disturbing and i don’t want other people to be hurt or taken advantage of by him. I’m tired of him escaping accountability.

i’ll split this into two parts. the account concerning csa will be first, and then i’ll be adding mine and other’s experiences with him below.

#child porn cw #pedophilia cw #csa cw this section will address csa and child porn solicitation

so this doesnt come from me, but from a minor who had been friends with dirk for a while and recently began suspecting they’d been sexually abused by him. i’ve been asked to rewrite what they told me in my own words and keep it totally anonymous in the interest of their comfort and safety, so i’ll be replacing any mentions of their name with lark.

lark mentioned that when they first met dirk they admired and idolized him and made that very apparent to him, and also that they dont ever remember being excessively complimented and praised by him like most everyone else was (i describe this happening below), which they believe is evidence of emotional manipulation and not just a coincidence.

lark confided in me that, despite how immediately beforehand dirk would ask lark if they were a minor and they would say yes, he talked to them about intensely personal nsfw subjects, such as masturbation, and his sexual desires. he would also express frustration when lark would mention having a crush on anyone but dirk, even though dirk shouldn’t have any reason to want a minor to be interested in him, even jokingly. he did this after he had turned 18, and while knowing that lark was a minor having literally just asked them himself, as if that absolves him of any fucking responsibility.

lark also recalled another incident where they and a friend (who was an older minor at the time) got onto the subject of drugs, alcohol, and nudes and other sexual pictures while in a conversation with dirk. their friend sent a suggestive picture of themself, and dirk sent one that he’d accidentally taken while taking photos for his nsfw blog (which lark stressed they and their friend ended up having access to, something that dirk brushed off because it was a ‘cool URL’). it eventually culminated in lark feeling pressured to send a suggestive photo of their own, which dirk did nothing to stop beyond reverse-psychological platitudes like “dont feel pressured to just because we’re doing it”. dirk did nothing to tell lark or their friend “hey maybe dont send sexual pictures of your bodies to me, because theres no reason that i would want to encourage that sort of thing as an 18 year old adult man, unless i’m a fucking predator.”

i understand this is a very serious thing to be presenting especially without receipts, but i’m an adult and wouldn’t feel comfortable handling receipts of that nature because it concerns sexual events with a minor, and warning people about dirk while maintaining anonymity is really important to lark.

this section will address emotional manipulation and bullying, specifically concerning me and my wife @gendfleur

i should start by saying that i don’t have many receipts for my own claims about him because i don’t have access to all of his old blogs where some of the worst of the posts were, and i’ve also changed computers so i can’t grab any of our old Skype logs. i’m conscious of how this might make people even more critical of my claims, and so i’ve taken care to remember as much as i can and to be as detailed as possible with the receipts i do have.

some brief background about my friendship with him: we met in september 2014 through a homestuck fictionkin skype group, and were close until june 2015, when i cut off our friendship. rose had been qpps with him since before the network was made, and they broke up in december 2015.

towards the latter half of our friendship he started flipping between showering me in positive attention and then ignoring me cold shoulder, which was kind of a red flag for what was about to happen.

dirk has a habit of giving people excessive praise and admiration often in public tumblr posts, making them feel special and wanted, and then making extreme emotional demands and using passive-aggressive bullying tactics, such as deliberate ignoring and vagueposting, to manipulate his friends into complying with them. he’s done this in private with almost everyone i know who has experience with him, and he’s also done this publicly with his mutuals in the past.

example posts of this from his old blog @circuitsbreaker, plus transcripts:

http://archive.is/qnrRl

[sorry i know you guys don’’t care i'l geta round to replying to the nice replies i got earlier later okay]

http://archive.is/fD6F3

[*keeps refreshign to see if someone wil lsay “no i care!”* *nothing* okay]

http://archive.is/3znpI

[mkay yall will get Up in Arms when i make a joke abt a dairy product but when i have my posts tagged #like/reply if u read# or im asking for help or posting about something thats important to me yall drop off the face of the blogosphere……. alright]

http://archive.is/hqHC5

[nobody cares about me and nobody cares about what i say and nobody cares about things that are important to me and nobody listens to me anyway and nobody cares about me !! haha nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

http://archive.is/0ronD

[i really am leaving i was jsut saying gn to rose but js Proof most everonye deosnt actually cae: really big difference on notes on my post saying no one cares and then on all my other posts. yall just dont want me to be Sad well heres a thing u can prevent it by Liking my Posts if you Read them like i have In the Tags now! conveicneit right. whatever]

and because these posts are a little old (the most recent of those was january 27 2015) here’s an example from a more recent blog of his, @soulrxsonance, proving that even half a year later (this was posted august 25 2015) with less frequent guilt-trip posts, he hadn’t actually changed his behaviour

#self harm cw http://archive.is/XECIx

[thanks like, the one personwho said anything to glaceon (note: a system member of his) when she asked for thanks for stopping me from self hamring,thaks everyone else for not,caring,atall,thanks,the intrents abotut o be turned off so bye]

wrt me specifically, i’m schizophrenic and autistic so social interaction is really exhausting. this is something i made very obvious by talking about it casually around him and in tumblr posts that he could see, but despite that he went out of his way to make me feel shitty for not being able to live up to his demands (they were random and hard to discern because he would never be straightforward about it but usually if i failed to be present for his breakdowns, like all his posts, tell him frequently that i loved him, talk to him whenever i had free time, or other exhausting bullshit then he would start the guilt-tripping), and often in a very roundabout way through vagueposting and ignoring me, which he would also get increasingly frustrated at me for not understanding... despite the fact that i’m...... schizo and autistic, so i’m shit at understanding social subtleties and hidden messages in peoples behaviour. i have no doubts that he understood this about me also, and yet he did nothing to de-escalate his behaviour.

one clear example of this that i can remember but can’t find a receipt for is when he was having a meltdown on tumblr and was asking for people to tell him they loved him, but after it was over he confessed it was just because he was trying to get someone specific to say it, who he was afraid didnt like him as a friend anymore. this was really obviously about me, because it was around the end of our friendship when he was already namedropping me when he thought i wasnt online like ‘i dont think cerb cares about me anymore’ (which is relatively innocuous but when aggregated with everything else he did, really goddamn bothered me)

another example i remember is when i came out as a nonbinary lesbian after id’ng as a trans guy for the entirety of my friendship with him up to that point. i came out through a post on my blog and stated that i’d had to contest with internalized trauma and abuse to get to a point where i could admit i was lesbian, and he vagued about this later on, saying roughly ”a lot of my friends who used to be trans dudes have been coming out as nonbinary girls lately and it makes me feel like my boyness might be fake too”. i understand that he’s also trans and so i can imagine the thought process behind making a post like that, but i still found that incredibly insensitive and maybe even borderline misogynistic of him.

being friends with dirk was making me suicidal because of the stress of his manipulation (and at this point, trying to interact with him when i was able seemed to be fruitless because he would usually ignore me anyway). so, one night in june 2015 i sent a very diplomatic message to him saying, in essence, “i love you but this isnt healthy for the both of us, and im sorry if im misreading but i think this is for the best”, and then deleted him and unfollowed him.

this is where i remember things getting really, really scummy and panick-inducing for me, because he started vagueing and namedropping me even more frequently, on his public blog for all his friends and my friends to see. i dont know the real extent of this because it seems he deleted certain posts at some point and i was never interested in checking his blog to see for myself back then, but i had mutual mutuals coming to me for months, telling me that he was running his shit off saying something vicious about me.

an example of this (i know this is kin drama lol, and i want to emphasize that i’m aware dragging petty kin drama into posts like these is usually frowned upon, but what i’m focusing on here is how wildly he blows me just fucking finding a kintype out of proportion and the fact that i only talked about this on my blog after i cut him off, strongly implying that 1) he was stalking my blog 2) he was getting someone else to stalk my blog or 3) someone following me was relaying info about me to him for kicks)

http://archive.is/0s9QJ

[tfw someone who told you you couldnt be friends with them anymore is now kin of yourere favorite fucking pokemon thats also incredibly personallyyl important to you because it reminds you of good parts of your childhood and of good memories of your family an firneds and its just a really personal thing and now it FUCKGGKKNGNG RIUIIENEND OFOOFOOFREVVVVVVVVVVVEER]

here’s a statement by @comorbird, a good friend of mine who was also mutuals with dirk and had access to his vent blog after i deleted him

#death wish cw #stalking cw

it kind of speaks for itself. this also proves my suspicions that he stalked my blog.

like, i get being upset over losing a friend. i’d understand it if, instead he vented about it in private.

but the fact that i knew he berated me openly, on his public blog for all our friends and mutuals to see, was fucking humiliating, triggered my paranoia very badly, and kept me on edge for months. i’m still appalled that he would do that instead of at the very least keeping it to private conversations, especially since he knew that i’m schizophrenic and that i struggle with paranoid delusions and that sort of shit. and even then, wishing someone who very politely distanced themselves from you was dead and stalking their blog is a ridiculous, extreme reaction to have.

rose was part of our friend group, and shie had been dirk’s qpp since before i knew them both. in the latter half of dirk and i’s friendship, hyr and i became pretty close, at some point even admitting we’d developed crushes on each other. in our talk about this (probably sometime in april or march 2015?) rose told me, roughly in hyr words “i’d totally be down for romantic dating but dirk gets jealous really easily so i’m afraid of broaching the subject with him. maybe sometime in the future though.” eventually rose came to realize that this was evidence that shie felt like dirk was controlling hyr romantic life despite them only being platonic partners, and we said fuck it and started dating in august 2015, after i stopped being friends wtih him just to clarify.

dirk noticed that we stayed close after i cut him off, and he unapologetically guilted rose for being friends with me and then eventually for dating me, bringing up how much he hated me in front of hyr and expecting hyr to go along with it, and getting very frustrated when shie would defend me or shy away from the topic. this had a really negative affect on hyr for a long time, forcing hyr into meltdowns and making hyr suicidal to the point of being institutionalized involuntarily around july or august 2015, and he did nothing to stop himself or tend to hyr hurt feelings. shie felt like shie couldn’t publicly talk about me lest shie would make him upset, while i was genuinely suffering panic attacks whenever i saw him on my dash.

so like i mentioned, rose was institutionalized against hyr will, and as this was happening dirk decided it would be a great time to contact me in an effort to... reconcile for rose’s sake, i guess. i don’t doubt he only decided to do so at that point to escape possible accountability for allowing the situation to boil over like that, and so he could safely make me feel like shit in a situation where i was under tremendous pressure to just smooth things over, especially since he brought in a friend of his to 'mediate’ or whatever (not their fault, i totally blame him for that). for the whole time he just told me how shitty he felt for me to “cut him off so suddenly”, how it “fucked him up”, that “he couldn’t really trust anyone after that” - and when i asked if i could also unload, he refused on the grounds that it would “just make him angry again and ruin his mood”.

rose has also confided in me countless times about the endless emotional demands he made on hyr, and the vicious guilt-tripping he would subject hyr to when shie couldn’t meet them. shie is also very mentally ill and was struggling a lot at this point in hyr life with being homeless and going in and out of inpatient care.

it’s also important to mention that dirk called both rose and i his “dependeds” (a term for people with dpd to refer to specific people they tend to rely on emotionally more than others), and he used that as a tactic to turn us into objects with no needs of our own, and to force us to feel morally responsible for him. this was something he dropped on me with no warning a couple months before i cut things off, and to be forced into that kind of responsibility without even asking me if it was okay made me very uncomfortable. i’m not blaming him for having dpd or saying all people with dpd are like that, but it was just another thing he specifically did.

i do have some receipts for what i described above.

these are some examples of him vagueing about rose on tumblr, which i feel demonstrate some of the guilt-tripping tactics he used, making sure that rose would come back to his blog and see how badly he was doing when shie couldn’t be there.

http://archive.is/IKY2k

[nattt (note: a nickname dirk had for rose) isn t onlune i skyed fleur (note: old pronouns rose used to use) when i s=woke up and fleur hasnt responded pelase goet back online so i ew can wtchsomething]

http://archive.is/75VVb

[lms if yo u like me more than you like horizon (note: an alternate name that rose uses) edit.// and dontnn fucking lie to make me feel better]

http://archive.is/Lar3j

[“hm wow my depended isnt here and idk when fleurs coming back so i guess i better throw myself into listening to aesthetic and/or angsty indie bands and only caring about that” - me, apparenalty,]

http://archive.is/po2Cn

[i know im fukkincg pathetic i know im a huge fucking loser for not doing anyhting like this earlier and i know im gonna be in the club with people who have been fucking doing this since like middle shcool or some shit!!!! jsut tell me if i should go to the meeting or not ffuckkginf my dpended is unreachable ust fukcing tell me what to do please thankss]

this chain of posts is specifically about times when rose was in the hospital, which goes to show how goddamn classy he is for using hyr suicide attempts to make hyr feel like shit

#overdose cw http://archive.is/nMGV4

[the last tiem the ac went out rose fucking ovserdosed so im (:]

#suicide cw http://archive.is/duyCL

[LIk e last time fleur was ther e for fuckkkign 2 weeks or a month o r something and we called each other nearly every day and i stil lwanted to fucking kms adn now its been like a week minus the weekend and i havent heard a fucking wor d and idk if fleurs okay or if fleurs staying longer or if fleur thinks im mad or if fleurs mad at me or fi fleur doesnt want to talk to me or hates me or is leaving me o r if fleurs calling someoen elese nstead of me or if fleur s even fc uk kign A l i v e anymore and its tearing me up. thats meant to be tering like tearing paper not taering like crying]

http://archive.is/jKwGV

[i keep having dreams that fleur will just pop up in the group chat im in with fleur, replying to smth, with no explanation, no hello, no hey im back, and ill be like “woah woah woah,, are you back? is that u?” and fleurs like yeah ofc and im like “ur really here right, its not a Dream,” and fleurs like “no im really back!!!” and im like “im not gona wake up and u wont be htere right” an d fleurs like no dw omf but. here we fucking are.]

http://archive.is/1pPmq

[i bet rose hmfucking hates me and doesnt ever want to talk to me again or doesnt care about me at all its either that or fkeurs Afuckign DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

these posts are from after they broke up, but also show how guilt-trippy he was

http://archive.is/61QZf

[fleur didnt “see me in fleur life anymore really :/” and then when i shut down and fleur asked to break up and i said fine fleur was all relieved bc fleur was worried abt my reaction like 1. i guess im that fucking pathetic and predicatlbe and fucjckkdfnknlsd fscc d tht fleur just knows im gonna flip out and was already scared to talk to me bc of it Lol 2. ii fucking was already broken up w fleur ever since fleur said fleur didnt see me in fleur life anymore but didnt want to brekau p uwu like what the fuck does that mean who says that everyone i lvoe is just going t o fuckingn tlel me they dont see me in their life none of them really do rn anyywaso]

#gore text cw #neck trauma cw http://archive.is/ilXdx

[idk i just idk fleur cares so much for hym and i cant do it it makes me want to cut my throat open and i dont even care about fleur anymore but im still upset about it i just cant do it im gonna take out my contacts and have a big cryfest]

these are examples of him playing the victim wrt to me cutting him off

http://archive.is/L9VFF

[no wonder he cut me off i deserved it i deserve all bad thigns i m such an annoying piece of shit im surprised he was even friends with me in the first place no wonder he cut me off im horrivle and annoying and more work than im worth no wonder they left me im not worth it im not worth anything no wonder fleur didnt fight for me or take my side or care at all im not worth it i dont deserve anything]

http://archive.is/uRTlR

[i thought i was one of hys closest friends but he cut me off like i was nothing and no one even fucking knew he did it until i told them he did. also fleur fucking knew that he was planning on doing it and didnt say a word to me this entire time until months after when i was having yet another massive breakdown about it so glad to know i mean absolutely nothing to the people who i see as literally the most important people in my life and that my not being in their life doesnt effect them at all and they dont even care to tell me when theyre talking about me behind my back about how annoying i am and how one of them is going to leave me in the dust]

http://archive.is/yKvpZ (it’s pretty long so i’ll just paste some choice bits)

[because of one of my past close friendships im fucking terrified everyone whos important to me is actually just planning on and thinking about how/if they should abandon me.] [mm fuffkkcinng iim so sfucked up over this honestly it was suppsoed to be ““““““““the best dcisisiong uuwuuwuwu” or sommemthing and its fucking ruining my life i cant thin k and i cant talk to anyone and i cant not talk to anynoen] [and i dont ahve any sort of reason to know or think or beleive that this wont happen because that ther person was thinking about it for fucking weeks and weeks] [fucking weeks and weeks of planning on leaving me and pretending everyhting was fine, of me thinking we were friends! of me trusting that person! of caring! i cant fucking trust anyone and that person doing that literally just prved it]

http://archive.is/QEIH2

[i dont even remember how long ago that happened honestly . its just kind of melting into “last month” the same way missioui is just “last year” #adn im fucking reliving it over constantly just like missouri how great! the 'clean break' systme really fucking works doesnt it! really fuc]

#suicide baiting cw for this last paragraph. eventually rose and dirk broke up around december 2015 (idr exactly) and then he blocked hyr unceremoniously, and it was at this point that rose went to his vent blog to unfollow it and saw a post that said, roughly “i hope cerb fucking kills hymself and that rose is devastated about it”. i don’t have a receipt for this because he’s since changed the url of the blog or deleted it altogether. it’s not all that surprising to me anymore anyway, with what i learned from sid telling me that he wished death on me pretty frequently.

that’s the end, i guess. if you have any questions i can try to answer to the best of my ability, i’m doing my best to be honest and transparent about this so i’m happy to clear up any confusion. please block dirk for your own safety, especially if you’re a minor.

#ok to reblog

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lasiiurus-archived · 7 years

Text

thank you !

^^ dis gif isn't mine. but that's totally my face.

Here it is! This is my big dumb 'thank-you' post that I've been meaning to write. So if you weren't aware, I've actually closed this blog (aside from some random posts about Logan and a Batman Podcast - you should listen to it) due to some major, major problems with the DC fandom that I find toxic and quite frankly disgusting. But das stuff that sadly I can't change so I'm doing what's best for me and getting my ass outta here before my love for Batman is forever ruined by blind and immature fanboys.

i started writing bryce around about 2015. My first blog was called surgitisms but I changed it because someone made some burnbook callout about me copying someones url (I had no idea that blog existed rofl - surgit is latin for 'rise'). I then moved to rageinyourbones (shoutouts to joseph gordon levitt) where i spent most of my time, developing this character that wasn't even my idea - it was just a passing remark from a lovely actress by the name of Natalie Dormer. now as you're aware (and as i continually apologize for) i fucked up on that blog, and i've done my best to reach out and make amends with the people i offended (and they were super gracious and accepted my apology). but that negative bollocks aside, i grew up so much on that blog. i learned some amazing things about myself, i learned some bad things about myself, and most importantly i created a character that i personally believe is different to bruce wayne. i ended up headcannoning late at night, thinking about how she would act differently to bruce, about how she would interact with certain characters etc etc etc.

but what really made all the difference was the people i met.

you guys are fucking amazing. i mean lets be real - the tumblr rp community can be fucked sometimes. we've all seen it, but what i love is that we tend to (80% of the time) treat each other as real human beings and see that what we're really here for is just the love of these dumb fictional characters. they give us a break from the savagery of life and its endless woes. i am so, so so grateful and so so so blessed to have known the people i have on here. people whom i met on rageinyourbones and followed me across to here, and people whom i met here. holy bollocks im rambling - im just gonna tag some specific people who really really made my life on here so enjoyable. the rest i'll just lump into one big post because i'm lazy like that.

@fracturedportrait - harmony. i remember meeting you the first time. i remember it so clearly. you were so chill, so spunky (god i feel old using that word), and you had such a passion for your oc. i remember the first plot we had, the inspiration we shared... who knew that it was the beginning of my greatest friendship and my #1 OTP for bryce. you were the first person whom i ever actually spoke to off tumblr (remember when i called you?? and you heard my dumb aussie accent??). i remember legitimately getting teary over memes, i remember smiling so much during our threads, i remember (and still do) laugh about us talking about how our sin is like a lovely vintage of wine. your writing consistently, unimaginably, pushes and has pushed me to better mine. with every post you made, you helped improve my writing. you are such a blessing to me and i am not going to just let this stay as some dumb tumblr friendship. we'll face time, and i'll be sure to credit you when i'm on the red carpet with natalie dormer being like 'so what made you want to write this film about a female batman?'. i'll just be like 'yo there was this really cool chick who wrote a vampire and she told me to just write this film'.

@halysborn - SWAN. ho man. do you remember when i wrote that giant meta about how dick literally changed not just bryce's life, but bruce's? i firmly believe that dick is the most important character in bruce's life. and i mean i'm talking on the same level as alfred - even more. he's the TRUE son. the son whom saved him. like i just cry about how bruce says that line - 'sometimes i think i've never done any good in my life. then i look at dick and realize i'm wrong' or whatever that actual phrase is. i PHYSICALLY VOM WHEN PEOPLE SHIP THEM. but yo that's other stuff. what's important is that you have supported me selflessly and without strings. you've supported me here, you've supported me over on deshibcsara, you've just been a consistent rock, an unyielding foundation of encouragement. i still, and will NEVER delete that voice recording where you talk about me and my love for batman. it gives me such hope and reminds me that, yeah i fuck up, but i've at least affected someone else's life and how they see batman. my only regret is that i was so goddamn slow with replying to our stuff. and that was literally because i felt like you deserved nothing but my absolute best. you are incredible, and from one aussie to another, i love you brocookie!

@femmekill - could u pls stop spamming my facebook wall with memes?? SIKE I LIED. I FUCKING LOVE IT. my mum literally asked me the other night 'who is -insert your real name-?' and i was like 'oh thats my wife' and she was like '???' and i just said 'dont even BOTHER trying to understand'. you have been nothing but optimistic about me. you consistently, relentlessly see the good in me. i dont think there's ever been a time where like i've felt wronged by you? or at the very least felt like i was a burden to you? you never fail to spread positivity. even when you were feeling like shit and i tried to cheer you up, it's like you turned it on me and were like 'nah gus you're not cheering me up IM CHEERING YOU UP - thats how it works'. im so fucking whipped by you, because you're just such a blessing to my life. the day we shared FB's was like the day i realized 'WELP IM IN THIS MARRIAGE FOR LIFE NOW'. when it comes to your writing - i'm just breathless. the tumblr rp fandom does not deserve you. keep doing your thing man - don't ever let douchebag anons change that.

@marblebelow - I SINCERELY HOPE YOU STILL HAVE THE RECORDING OF ME SINGING 'THE CONFRONTATION'. especially with the 'DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN'. that shit is lit. yo but mikel really. the days of us writing together - writing fisk/bryce and then writing jim/bryce... i value it so much. you've taught me to pursue every little nuance in bryce's character. and i mean that - you ask me tiny little questions, and holy crap i end up going into a massive internal investigation. and worst of all (or best??) you jsut lavish me with genuine, kind words. i regret that we didnt get to write much more (both of us having major stress/overwhelmed issues), but dude, like, never stop being you - you have such overwhelming, unimaginable depths of creativity. even if you don't realize it, or feel like you don't, believe me - you do. it sounds like -- errr.... arrogant? but ive spent the last six years studying writing/fiction/film and just immersing myself in it so i feel like i have SOME credibility - you really really do have a gift.

@ivyworn - 'yes hello i'd like to report a murder? the victim is ME' aka this is what happens whenever we talk. so we never actually got to do much writing, but honestly? i literally feel like we did writing in the SPIRIT with all of our tumblr IMs and just the amount of shit talking we did. PUMA. LEST WE FORGET. PUMA. no but real talk, i was supposed to send you a birthday gift aka im still gonna get my ass onto paypal and do that SO DONT YOU LEAVE YOUR BLOG. AND YOU CANNOT SAY NO. i've never met anyone whom has such an in-depth love and understanding for ivy. i remember chatting about Cast Shadows with you and the level of complexitity between Batman and Ivy. i mentioned this but Batman/Ivy is literally my OTP for Bruce. i just think it is such an interesting avenue that no writer (post Cast Shadows) has explored. whenever we spoke, i had such a smile on my face, i cannot even begin to desribe it. i really really hope life goes well for you and treats you with the care and respect you DESERVE.

@psyclownsis @scarestress tags both blogs bc i have no idea where you are these days. so i already recorded that voice meme thing talking about you piri - but i literally just want to further express my admiration and gratitude for you. you've stuck by me, you've pulled me aside and been like 'oi gus you're being a douche stop it', and you've just supported me and taken such an interest in this dumb character i write that literally just blows me away. the fact that we barely write but i still feel so close to you and so valued by you is just a testament to the power of tumblr rp friendships. we don't NEED to write together to be friends and to respect and admire each other. AND LORD KNOWS i admire you. i admire your dedication, i admire your 'idgaf' attitude. and honestly i just admire your unrelenting loyalty to people.

because i've literally written an essay - the rest of these tags are people that i admire and love, even if we haven't had much chance to interact.

#long post for ts #im gonna turn anon on just for these last few days #just in case you wanted to share something and you were like 'nah dont wanna do it publicly'#but yo if you send douchey stuff im just gonna brush you off because i aint got time for dat #anyways I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS

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bringmemyqueen · 7 years

Note

I'm a potate and I'm here bc iwadai :D Do you have some hcs or aus with them? (I'm sorry if I'm a bother, I just keep thinking that I need smth with them and it haunts my butt for over a week now T_T)

why hello fellow potate ♥∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ you’re not a bother at all!! how could i ever be annoyed by an iwadai ask??? that’s literally impossible never going to happen don’t worry :>

OH BOI DO I HAVE HCS AND AUS FOR IWADAI??? yes, yes I do.

some random headcanons:

Iwaizumi just loves to bask in the few cm of height difference between him and Daichi. Daichi swears he’ll grow taller in the next year (of every year). these dorks and their height obsession i swear

Iwaizumi is an actual sap ok like he sometimes doesn’t even realize it. i’m forever going to write him this way. I just feel he’s the type to really cherish and love hard when he’s in a relationship. Also because I love Daichi so much I like to make Iwaizumi emotionally weak to Daichi =u=

Daichi is such a fuckin tease (most times intentional) and Iwaizumi initiates touch more often

Iwaizumi’s favorite physical features of Daichi: eyes and thighs; Daichi’s favorite physical features of Iwaizumi: pouty lips, arms, eyes, back

They take turns doing chores and are all civil about it, but in general they’re a mess like they throw their clothes everywhere and anywhere until a pile forms and they can’t tell which pile is clean or dirty

THEY GET A BIG FLOOFY DOG!!! who I’ve decidedly named Wan because it sounds like a bark and also the number one which can stand for Daichi’s jersey number and Hajime ;v;

Iwaizumi is a movie/film fanatic and they have movie night twice a month sometimes more depending how free they are. they cuddle on the couch, kiss each other with popcorn breath, and have lengthy discussions about the plot and characters

Daichi enjoys listening to all types of music and Iwaizumi loves watching him sing because he’s always so into it (not the greatest singer tho). Daichi has plenty of foreign songs that he likes to sing to Iwaizumi but Iwaizumi doesn’t know much English so he looks up the songs and realizes that they’re all incredibly cheesy love songs and wow he’s blushing so hard now

They’re both strong enough to carry the other over their shoulders and they wrestle each other alllllll the time for funsies. Sometimes it leads to make-out sessions and other times one or the other accidentally gets elbowed or kicked a little too hard

some iwadai aus

college au: me and my friend jess tried to write a slow burn chaptered fic but uhhhhhhhh we’re stuck on chapter 2……like its been what six months?? since we started OTL i really want to finish it because im so so so desperate for an iwadai centric long fic and trust me this was going to be long. we have an outline. AN OUTLINE. OF THEIR FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE. BUT WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO WORD. anyways this is the basic college au i will never get tired of where iwadai become friends and eventually like each other but they’re both too dumb and dense to realize their own feelings until some incident happens and one of them realizes and they’re like oh shit what to do because they don’t want to ruin their friendship. gawwwd i want to write this but i’m forever a mediocre one-shot writer TT__TT

same neighborhood au: where Daichi moves into the same neighborhood as Iwaizumi and Oikawa in his childhood. The three of them become close but Daichi ends up moving again after a couple of years. Then they meet again in high school when Daichi transfers to Seijou during his third year. ughghgh im sorry I have a story for this and i’m trying to explain without spoiling it too much because I want to make it into a comic but its basically a high school romance iwadai au lmao (also a small bit of one-sided oi/dai maybe?, but supportive best friend oiks) aaaand jsut to put it out there Iwaizumi has a scar on his lip and Daichi has one on his stomach/back from an incident that happened when they were kids and that’s all I’ll say for now. its a vague mess i know OTL

mafia au: i don’t have much of an idea for this one yet since I just thought about it recently (which is ridiculous because im fcking love mafia au the best kind of angst man). honestly i just want to draw iwadai half-naked with a bunch of pretty and elaborate tattoos. But I’m thinking about it as I write this and guys……imagine Karasuno mafia boss Daichi falling in love with Seijou’s right hand man Iwaizumi. The mafia bosses having monthly meetings or something and they’re only allowed to bring one person with them. Imagine the eye-fucking during the meetings and secret rendezvous during high tensions between the groups hgngngngn im gone

#ask #kathwolfie #hope you dont mind that i posted!#i wanted to share the iwadai loveee #ALSO THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK #IM LOVE IWADAI SO MUCH #if you ever want more dont be afraid to ask #ID FCKING GO NUTS #iwadai #headcanons

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fragiilexa · 7 years

Note

all the even numbers

100 questions

OH MY GOD. that was a lot of questions lmao

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

already answered.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

already answered.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

already answered.

8. What are your current goals?

already answered.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

already answered.

12. Can you keep a diet?

I don’t really do diets? They’re always usually unhealthy & detrimental to your health so I just try to portion food & stuff, pick healthier choices, I don’t like… do weird diets or anything.

14. Do you work?

Not currently no, I don’t.

16. Would you get a tattoo?

Yes, I would love to get a tattoo, I really want one that says Think Positive but the T in positive is a cross? I’ve seen it somewhere before & I’d love that, then also I want one that says ‘I can’t hear hate when I got so much love.’ I also had this really cute idea for getting a tattoo for each of my pets but idk how that one would pan out yet.

18. Can you drive?

No. Not yet I cant.

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

I cried watching some youtube videos a few days ago, lmao that was fun…

22. Is life fun?

Yeah. It is kiddo it IS fun, it’s like a fun lil’ roller coaster u know? Sometimes it feels like it’s not fun & you get scared but things are all okay in the end, you know?

24. What’s your dream car?

Mini Coop Countryman. It’s just? Super cute? I mean I’m not really into cars, realistically I’d probably get a jeep ‘cause I’m a lot more comfortable with them but, yanno.

26. Describe your crush.

Super fuckin’ smart, like doesn’t realize it but incredibly smart & determined. Super strong in every single possible way, also one of the kindest people I have ever met & u know also super attractive & jst cute ndngjodeo i luf and u know i jsut amsuper emoitional aobut it ok byre.

28. What was your last lie?

Probably that I did something that I forgot to do? I can’t remember.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

Yep. I mean at least for me, less embarrassing with friends though, honestly. With family it’s worse & I feel worse but it’s easier with friends I guess.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

I don’t drink so….

34. Do you like small kids?

Yes! I love little kids? They’re adorable & I’m smitten, I mean some of them can be annoying u feel but 90% of the time I’m smitten with little kids ‘cause they’re like human puppies u kno?

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

If I have a son I’m gonna name him Benjamin. I haven’t thought about if I have a girl? I mean honestly I want a girl really bad when the time comes but I have no names planned out besides maybe Lila but that might be a little odd if I get the book written, I dunno. We shall see.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

Uh, no? Not that I can think of lmao?

40. What was the last gift you gave?

Pretty sure I gave my Mom something but I can’t remember what it was.

42. Favourite place to shop at?

Shop for what? I dunno Target?

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

I have yet to get drunk yet. I’ll let u kno when it happens tho ok fam?

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

I MIGHT NOT UPDATE U ON THIS but also I share too much so I probably will. hasn’t happened yet tho lmao

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

Have fun? Idk.

50. Post a selfie.

No.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

U kno the usual ole’ demons & abandonment.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

People are gonna leave and it’s going to hurt really bad. You’re not gonna know why it was you or what you did, but it’s okay ‘cause it’ll make you smarter & kinder than them.

56. Any bad habits you have?

I’m a nervous eater? Lmao I guess that’s a bad habit.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

Those youtube videos.

60. Are you in love?

Wot is love ( baby don’t huRT me donT huRT ME NO MORE )

62. How long was your longest relationship?

whAT RELATIONSHIP? My friendships barely last, lmao, relationship lmoa dsgdfre

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Hm, sometimes guy’s can be really pretentious, also they seem to think periods aren’t a big deal that bothers me & probably just the superiority complex thing. Bothers me.

66. How would you describe your bad side?

Super closed off bitch who really just doesn’t like people & can like, probably hurt a lot of people emotionally if she wanted too. Sort of terrifies me, sort of hate that bit of myself. I try to be nice but yeah it’s hard to not be super bitter sometimes.

68. What are you living for?

jeSUS FAM. I live for Jesus & all the amazing people He’s put into my life who mean the world to me.

70. Do you like your body?

It’s a love / dislike relationship. I’m constantly trying to appreciate it & love it but I also know I could physically be more fit so I wanna work on that & sometimes being like out of shape makes me self conscious but I mean I don’t hate my body I just… dislike it sometimes.

72. Ever sent nudes?

llokeodgebhrth no. I have no fun ok gtg.

74. Favourite candy?

Pixy sticks or like, sour punch straws? I don’t know.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

Sims. I played WoW for a… while when I was younger & maybe I might get back into that when I have a new computer or something but Sims is my favorite game ‘cause it? It just is??? It’s the best.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?

I am & He does. He’s gotten me through…. everything, like I don’t think I’d be here without him and I have been in a very rough patch with things lately with him but it’s 100% just me & like, yeah. But it’s not a pretentious thing though, I don’t believe that I’m somehow BETTER than everyone else. I 100% believe God exists, I love Him & He loves me & He loves all of you so it’s okay, you know?

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

To each his own. I mean personally I love chicken too much? Lmao, but like if you’re an adult & you wanna do that feel free. I’m a little iffy when it comes to like, making your kids be vegan just because they’re growing & it’s sometimes hard to supplement the nutrients & stuff that meat would give your kids unless you really know what you’re doing & I’m 100% against it when people make their animals vegan ( like dogs who are not meant to be leaf eaters ) dogs need meat. But like I said, to each his own, as long as you’re maintaining a healthy lifestyle & aren’t depriving yourself of the right nutrients than I’m okay with it.

82. Do you like Chineese food?

No…. I’m super picky fam.. it just, doesn’t appeal to me I guess.

84. Vodka or whiskey?

Someone send me both & let me choose?

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

I’ve been out of state a few times but never out of the country.

88. What are you scared of?

Spiders? People leavin’ me? Dyin’? Big bugs? Suffocating? Getting burnt? Car crashes? Driving? There are a lot of things. Trust me.

90. Most traumatic experience ?

I mean… I don’t know, there’s not like a set thing or anything that’s really happened besides like, one of my best friends kind of like, dumping me when I was a kid & that kind of fucked me up but I dunno.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

I don’t have a phone but my favorite app on my ipad is probably weheartit or tumblr.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

I don’t watch it as much as I’d like but I love Remi Ashten she’s adorable & one of my favorite Youtubers.

96. What is the meaning of life?

Show people that God loves ‘em no matter what ‘the church’ or ‘religion’ or any one really tells them, like, God loves you & he wants you in his life. It’s really simple. That & like, just trying to make the world better you know? I am a cheese ball but I’m dead serious, I think all of us have a unique way of going through life and the ‘meaning’ of life may be slightly different for each of us but the true meaning of it all is to just show people that despite all of the horrible things in the world that there is good & the good is God and that like, we are not required to be perfect or to fit some kind of mold to be loved or accepted by God. I don’t know I’m just mush and I want everyone to know that God loves them no matter what other people say. That and make a damn good book at some point. That’s the meaning, lmao, I don’t know im 21 why are you asking me this. Ask me in another 21 years.

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

Sadly yes. Me & My sister found that tumblr post where this kid told his mom that ‘you know there was a point where you picked me up, put me down and never picked me back up again’ and we told that to her, that at one point she’d put us down and never picked us back up again, and she like, instantly started crying and I feLT SO BAD AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT WAS HORRIBLE.

100. Can you keep a secret?

Yep. But pinky promises are more solid than just a secret to me, tbh.

#Anonymous #⌑ ⊰ ι'll paιnт тнe pιcтυre; leт мe ѕeт тнe ѕcene ⊱ ›› ﴾ answered ooc ﴿

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loi-et-love · 7 years

Conversation

SZ: hi.

first thing first..... T H A N K S ....for so many things... talking to me, being nice to me (even when i was pain in the ass) .... being frank and open..... talking whatever came to your mind (well that you do with everyone) ..... answering to some long emails... with equally wrong emails....

you know i had drafted a mail earlier but had to delete it ... thought might as well write something new and fresh..... and this is what you have done to me ..... When i have free time .... i think "let me write to aditi" ..... sometimes..... i even wake up in the middle of my sleep to check...... if there is any message from you.... but unfortunately only calls or messages i get then at that time are from GC .... some how he just knows when i am busy.... or sleeping in office hours and he will call me..... the joke i tell my mom is "if i want GC to call me ..... i should sleep" and hola ...tring tring ....

initially when we started talking...... i did want to know why is she talking so much to me .... but then i let go of it ..... realized later you are talkative.....

i dont talk to many people..... and i dont remember when i had written 100 odd emails .... to someone ...... i guess there have been days when we have completed more than 50 odd emails in a single day.... like today we are already near 42......

two reasons i dont talk to many people in office is 1) my last name: they have pre concieved notion about me and feel uncomfortable talking to me ...... and i dont like when people are uncomfortable .... and they do make it previous obvious

2) whatever little interaction i have had with some ..... i just dont connect... i dont feel the need to ... or in simpler words..... i dont find anyone else interesting enough

yes i like you,.... want to know you..... but i want to know you at your pace and your convenience .... i am not in a hurry..... but then its like you kind of sweet like an ice cream..... and i get worried... what if it just melts away .... so i want to know things about you......

all those questions hanky panky and all is just to get you open up..... as i always say.... i was also 24 for one full year..... and i know things that happen.... i am no saint either.... and i had a car since i was 16..... so had my share of back seat action too....

sometimes...... its obvious that i am the distraction .... that keeps you away from ex......... sometimes.... its just that ... you have too much stored in yourself ...... and you dont have the channel to release it all..... so you just treat me like an "agony uncle" or lets say punching bag.... i am ok with that.....

And you are currently occupying lot of my mental space..... whether is sleeping or awake ....

like today i didnt need to send the photo which i sent in morning ...... or didnt need to think about you when i saw rainbow ..... didnt need to go for walk ..... i went yesterday also .... the reason : well yesterday i knew you would be busy from 6-7 while driving to go home and today i knew you would be sleeping while i was awake so i thought might as well go for a walk

talking sarcastically or flirting or being funny is natural to me and so is the serious attitude.... seen a lot of things in life....

you dont like flirting we can always stop.... it will be difficult but i can stop.... no more checking out .... btw its not the ass which i check out first in a lady....... its something else

chalo will send across this email when you are back from lunch..... and done with your work

ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U T I F U L ....enjoy have a nice day .

I: God!! nobody is ever going to let me read this email with full concentration. *angry face*

Will you stop thanking me?? I didn't do anything FOR you. i'm selfish that way. So stop!! I did everything because I wanted to. I didn't do any favors for you. I talk to you because i like talking to you. I'm nice to you because you have been nice to me (no indecency). I'm frank and open... Well, that's just who I am. I speak my mind. And I respond to your long emails because I love talking to you and I love long emails. Long emails signify how much willing you are to talk to me. It shows your effort, that you are ready to type so much because you so much to say.

Maybe you can send me that email you deleted. I would want to read everything you type to send me because that's what you wanted to say to me.

I know how you feel. you have done the same thing to me too. I was late for lunch and made Kaalu and H sir wait becasue I wanted to finish writing an email to you.

It's true that I am talkative but I don't talk soooooo much with everybody. I'm friendly with everyone but not everybody is my friend. So, I talked so much with you because I chose to and not because I have a compulsive need of talking.

And BTW you spoke to me first. I had my seat changed and you had asked me something. I think you had asked me what I do here, etc. and then why my place was changed. I remember it was dark and there was nobody in the office except you and me and you were filling your water bottle and laughed (that cute laugh I love) when I told you that because French Translator and I talk a lot they changed my place. (I know it was silly of me. I didn't even care that you're a C (last name) and I shouldn't have and I should've maintain a decorum with you)

"i dont talk to many people" Tha'ts what Kaalu said, you don't talk to too many people. And if you talk, nobody hears your voice. So, it's more or less like you don't talk at all.

And those days are the best days where we write over 50 emails to each other.

I know why you wouldn't talk to people here in OIA. I saw and felt how lonely you are. and then you talked to me one day and I felt "god! ye accha baat karta hai. Decency toh baapre.. chalakti hai!! Has a nice soothing, amazing voice. English mast hai." And then Idk how and when I started talking to you. I don't remember. All I know is that I must've blabbered a lot for no reason, forcing you to be in the conversation. Do you remember how I started talking to you so much after you spoke to me once? (answer me) I actually you spoke to me twice. once ws in the elevator when we were going down. I think we started talking about cars and books when we would leave. And then you would advise me like an uncle to drive safe and use this direction than the one I use. Ufff... how annoying I found you then!! Treating me like I'm 10!

So, as i was saying i thought u r introvert n shy n lonely n dont have many friends here. but i was happy to see you chitchatting with anand sir then.. Sometime in february i think. I was relieved..

I don't understand what preconceived notions they would have about you.

People know you're C because you speak THEIR language. (That's how I found out). I would always see you talk with Kapil. And I wud make a face like why does this man have to talk to him (Atul), bichara.. paka raha hoga Atul ko! But then i found out u r a Chaturvedi and I slapped my forehead. Like whyyyyyyy............... But then your last name never felt like a hindrance for me. You last name never bothered me. Is that strange for you? (answer me)

So, you know how I feel about you not being here right now? So, you know how I feel about you leaving? There is nobody interesting in this office. There's nobody who reach my standards and actually hold a conversation with me. You have no idea how ecsatic I was to talk to you everytime!! I would wait for NL to leave so that I could talk to you. But you would shoo me away like a dog.. :( That did hurt me when you continued to do it for a few days but I didn't say anything because i know you didn't mean it

You have to ask questions to know me. Don't ask me questions about what hanky panky I have done. I won't answer that. i don't kiss and tell. I told you about Aditya. I told you I have daddy issues. You figured out I have trust issues. It takes time to get to know people. And it's more fun when you get to know them as the time passes by. Fast-fast karne me koi mazaa nahi hai. I have been very fast in my life and i've realized this now and i always prefer to go slow.

I want to get to know you too. You conceal so much behind this fluffy (hehehe) exterior. But it takes time.

You are not the distraction. Dude. I have many distractions. Do you think you are the only person in the office I flirt with? Think again! Yeah, it's true that you are the only person I actually enjoy flirting with!! ('im not buttering you up here)

Nobody can keep me away from BB. BB and I... We have the strangest chemistry. We wouldn't talk to each other for months (which felt like years) and we'd gravitate back to each other. It's just how it is. Nobody can stop what's happening between me and him. and you're not a distraction. I don't use humans anymore. not that person anymore.

This is true "you have too much stored in yourself ...... and you dont have the channel to release it all" But you aren't my agony uncle or punching bag. I have just been awfully mad at you, once !! Just once!!.

You are just completely different for me. You hold the weirdest place in my life. Never anticipated to go this far. I didn't know you'd give me your number and i would chat with you like its the end of the world!!

And you are currently occupying lot of my mental space..... whether is sleeping or awake .... --> i don't want to ruin the moment, but i do do this to alot of people. What you said in another email that i have made your boring life here in OIA, interesting and now you look forward to it. There was this intern (also Adi, he's a southernese) he too said the same thing. He wasn't somebody who would talk a lot but with me, we would talk for 9 hours straight for 2-3 weeks! He didnt have any work and nor did I. and he still cannot believe it. Yeah, so i do have an effect on people. (I won't say i dont enjoy it. i jsut hope it turns out to be a good experience for them)

If you thought about me when you saw the rainbow, then i think of you everytime i see XUV on the street. I wait for you to text me on whatsapp. I come to work and I check my email first for any email from you.

Today when i came to work, i really thought that you're lying n u have come back n you'll come to work today.

" it will be difficult but i can stop" --> really? it'll be difficult???

What's the first thing you check out in a girl? and what's the first thing u checked out in me?

"ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U TI FUL ....enjoy have a nice day ." --> i have to hug you for this. There's a way of saying things. it also matters who is saying to you.

I'm too disturbed after wat NL said yesterday. I jsut want to go to him anymore.. i'm not Veena or Marina. Nor do I behave that way (although i did speak things with you, i hit on you, that's different. but really, i didn't do it with NL)

"ohhhh last thing ..... you are B E A U TI FUL ....enjoy have a nice day ." --> you made my day. (you too have an effect on me, okay. you just don't realize it, although I say it out loud so many times) this made me smile shyly. main sharmati nahi hu.. thank you :*

#personal #SZ #AC #love office affair

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