#today's radblr that I can see is just not that

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Can I ask when the last time “dick worshipper”, etc. has actually been used by a radblr woman? Not a black-pill orbiter; they’re awful to everyone and don’t tend to last long here. I mean from someone in radblr, claiming to be a radical feminist or supporting radical feminism. I know it used to be fairly common years ago. So did political lesbianism, which pissed everyone off for different reasons. Most of those people either left or just don’t show up in my circles anymore, and those that do again don’t last long. So where is this coming from? I see it referenced but no recent examples. I am seeing a hell of a lot of recent homophobia from women in radblr though. Every woman I’ve seen addressing the homophobia has stated the misogynistic terms aren’t okay, again, even though from what I’ve seen it hasn’t happened for a long time. Whereas I’m seeing a ton of defensiveness and doubling down in regards to the homophobia. And there seems to be this demand of all lesbians and non-lesbian pro-separatist women to denounce the “dick worshipper” type comments, and it’s like, A) they already have and B) if they’re not the ones who said it can you stop conflating pro-separatist arguments with that shit? Again, this is just what I’ve seen. Maybe the “dick-worshipper” comments are all over some areas of radblr, but they’re not from anyone I follow or have seen on my dash for years. I’d say for the last four or five years the only time I’ve seen it is from women asking not to be called that--which, I agree, I don’t want to be called that and I don’t want to see other women called that. It’s just, I haven’t been called it or seen it for a long time, so something’s not adding up.

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[feminist-furby-freak]

Following after seeing your take on pregnancy and childbirth! It's refreshing to see as it does appear radblr can verge on antinatalism occasionally.

Understanding how significant and transformation birth can be, how it underpins the bond between mother and child and is crucial to societal cohesion - is still not synonymous with 'women are breeders and having children is awful and disgusting and women who want to be mothers have been brainwashed.'

I really think if society was more centred towards women and children instead of this male version we currently live in, having and raising children would be a lot easier and actually enjoyable for women.

For 95 percent of human civilization women were assisted with child rearing on a ratio of 15 caregivers to one child. Modern women have 3-4 alternative caregivers if they are lucky and extremely supported today. It's just so obvious to me why it's so difficult, we're all separated trying to do it alone when that's never how child rearing worked.

Random vent! But love to see rad doulas x

I totally agree. And I do understand why many radfems lean antinatalist when in our current patriarchal world pregnancy and motherhood are (very often) tools for oppressing women. The natural birth movement has largely been co-opted by the “women’s true purpose is to have babies” Christian extremist crowd but I’m lucky to live in a progressive city where this isn’t the case. I’m doing my thesis on childbirth and feminism and I’ll see if it there is a way to share it on here when it’s finished without doxxing myself.

[agro-carnist]

I occasionally go on terf and radfem block sprees on reblog chains I block a handful at a time until I start feeling gross having to scroll to see which ones are terfs and which ones are just unlucky enough to be getting reblogged by terfs. Making progress though because I went on a block adventure today on one of your posts and one of the people I clicked on I'd already actually blocked

Here's a good post on how you can block a bunch of terfs without having to go on their blogs

[kiefbowl]

citation: a woman on radblr told me so. maybe i was deceived

no not deceived, she probably believed it. the thing is this sort of urban myth to retroactively explain slang happens all the time. like how people will say "bump" in forums meant "bring up my post." no, it never did, it just came from the english word bump, like bump it up to the top, etc. It becomes popular to try to "figure out" where slang comes from when we don't have tangible sources, which is often, and people like being clever.

"Not my Nigel" is the slang phrase that came first, the source of that is dubious because female culture/feminist culture (as opposed to scholarly things) aren't archived well. Whenever it was first written (which isn't confirmed) is most definitely not when it was first used. Since Nigel has existed outside feminism as slang for a British man/boring dude, that's probably why that name became the go-to. "Not my husband Nigel, he's a gentlemen"...you can start imagining how old this is. Nigel, as used on radblr (and before) is slang extrapolated from the slang. But I can see now how younger and younger women may only be exposed to this word via radblr and only as "Nigel." This is why archiving female culture is just as important as archiving feminist theorizing ;)

Imagine today if instead of wanting to be caustic to a prim lady saying her husband is a gentleman, you wanted to be caustic to a woman who wants to defend her porn addicted situationship manchild...you probably wouldn't use Nigel. Women might use "Not my Bryce...Not my Mason...Not my Jadyn..." which then through use becomes just "Not my Bryce" which then in time gets shorthanded to Bryce. Then 30 years from now someone says "Bryce probably means (B)oy I (R)aise (Y)et let (C)um (E)verywhere" or w/e.. No, it's just a name in the zeitgeist.

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Hi! Sorry if this is rambly as I'm in the middle of brain fog. I just wanted to say,I really like your blog! Even though I follow it,it won't show up on my dash (60 % of radfem blogs don't) so I just pick random days to come visit,like it was a favorite shop. And it feels like coming home. This place made through your words feels truly comforting.

You might say you are rambling but I personally love long,complex explanations. It doesn't read like you are repeating things,but like you are covering the shades of grey too,instead of only the broad strokes.

Also,I have had a gender identity and identified as male for a couple of years. Many otherwise good radfem posts focus too much on shaming "gendies" and reiterating how delusional/abnormal/jobless sad freaks they are. So it all makes me feel like I'm in high school again,getting bullied by the popular neurotypical squad. To be honest,the tumblr "queers" of today are more similar to me,as a weird,socially inept,bisexual woman who cares more about ideas than actual physical reality. However,they threw women's rights under the bus. They started encouraging 4chan incel-like levels of misogyny,and cult-like levels of obedience. So I lost any desire to belong there or to ever interact positively with them.

I fully agree with,and admire many radfem bloggers,as they really know their shit and have the courage to stick to their beliefs. But I feel that even that side is sometimes guilty of misogyny and especially ableism. And I have seen textbook narcissistic bullies being hailed as defenders of human rights even there.

So thank you for making a blog and building this in-between space here. It is very necessary to understand the opposing side are humans too,and your kindness and ability to see multiple points of view really shines through. This is very hard to do in 2024. I personally am completely out of empathy and have become a very intolerant and bitter person. So it's kind of amazing to still be able to encounter more reasonable and calm points of view online,like this.

Still,if it gets too tiring and exhausting(because it does!) you have full permission to change and go as cold and uncaring as you want,at any time! (I feel every woman needs to be told this)

🌼🌞❤️‍🩹

wow, first of all, thank you for such a lovely message !! my instinct is to make a self-deprecating joke about how this is definitely going to fuel my ego but I have actually been trying to build my self-esteem up lately, so maybe I will let it get to my head this time lmao

I definitely see where you're coming from, I find that radfems (and I have to admit, I myself am guilty of thinking like this too) find some kind of catharsis in ripping into adherents of gender ideology, whether it's out of anger, a sense of justice, or satisfaction in just pointing out how wrong someone else is. I think it's just a sort of natural behavior with political/ideological spaces, think atheists dunking on christians, leftists dunking on the right, or conservatives dunking on liberals. "dunking" culture and solidifying your own beliefs by making fun of an opposing view is just something I feel has to be expected online at this point, even though I feel like it's the most unproductive aspect of online ideological communities, especially when I otherwise agree with their beliefs.

that being said, I really can't fault people, especially individuals within smaller, niche ideological communities such as radblr, from seeking outlets for their frustration and bonding through a common enemy. ironically, I find it way easier to understand this behavior on tumblr communities because blogs feel much more like a reflection of an individual, and I can at least understand when an individual makes mistakes or lashes out negatively, but that might just be my bias towards blog culture in general.

overall though, I definitely find that it helps to look at a variety of blogs for a diversity of opinions within the community (I swear my following list gets longer and longer every day) and find the places that do curate a space you can feel comfortable in. I am honored that you might find my blog as that kind of avenue, and I'm certain there are just as many more blogs on this platform and beyond (perhaps with better writing lol) that accomplish a similar goal of fostering empathy. in fact, I know those blogs are out there because I hope one day my writing will be even a fraction as good as some of them !! I also hope one day tumblr fixes their algorithm (they won't but I will stay hopeful in slight delusion) and I can find more awesome radfem blogs without having to scroll through the oft spammed tags...

whew this response turned out way longer than I though lmao (and as always I have thought of even more words to say sigh) but once again thank you for the ask, I wish the absolute best for you !!

[s1ll13rg00s3]

I don't disagree with what you said, but I don't think it's helpful to just kinda shrug and say "well this is a general problem". I get that you're trying to be conciliatory and again you're not wrong in general. But I do think it applies to bisexuals in a general way. I don't think it's a coincidence that this started with macroclit being called a useless dick rider for needing an abortion, and now the discussion has shifted about how the actually pressing issue here is that bis need to get over their persecution complex (thnx het woman). Now kronkk is vaguing about how macro is "spineless, toothless, refusing to take radical action and taking the easy way out" and everyone is just clapping because of course the dick riders need to put in their place. It's not spineless, toothless, nor taking the easy way out to get an abortion - that sounds literally like conservative rhetoric about abortion. Macro never even blamed lesbians and then it all got shifted to be about bisexuals supposedly blaming lesbians for everything by ppl like kronkk and that lunawitch person, because they see any attempt at discussion about how bisexuals are treated by everyone as inherently lesbophobic. Their accusation itself created that discussion and derailed away. So once again we never got a discussion about why everyone feels emboldened to treat bi women like that, it just got turned into why bihets are horrible spineless dick riders. Just like it did in all those other examples I gave, and why the bi ppl I gave as examples in my other anon were only harassed more.

I agree with you, like macro talking about her OWN experience growing up in religious homophobia got turned into comparing the way lesbians are treated by religious homophobes to the harassment she was getting on radblr, and that she never claimed she was being "persecuted by lesbians" just that some of the women harassing her were lesbians

Like if you want to talk about this specific situation with macroclit, she was a woman who is/has been visibly gnc and was exclusively dating women for most of her life up until recently, she does actual real life activism - and all of that is out the window because she's dating a man now, I fail to see how that is not misogynistic and frankly homophobic as well... As if when she and everyone in her life assumed she was exclusively capable of same sex attraction because that was all she had expressed at that point, the material reality of her life was affected at all by the fact that years in the future she would find out she was indeed bisexual. But then if you apply class politics to individuals without any nuance then I guess the assumption is just that no bisexual person has ever had a "full" or "real" understanding of homophobia.

I do also agree of course that radblr has a particular issue with bisexual women, I guess just don't think there's some magical quality to bisexuals that makes them a more attractive target I just think they've been identified as an acceptable target for misogyny and homophobia because the copes a lot of people have about bisexuals allow them to express comfortably the same bigoted views and behaviors of like actual conservatives while feeling like they don't lose any points for being progressive - which I guess is the point of my whole little essay on the hippocrisy and inconsistency within "leftist" spaces today

I think that the most important point I can make is that certain behaviors need to be unacceptable - because attempting to justify to people why bisexuals (or who the fuck ever) deserve basic respect is a losing battle with people who don't want to examine their internal biases - it's just not okay to be misogynistic or homophobic or even just to l harass strangers for innocuous private choices

All of that being said, I'll be honest, part of my reluctance to argue with people back and forth about this specific situation is that I think the way people are behaving rn is really fucked up honestly, and if I was in a position similar to macro I think i would want privacy and peace > to be a shining example of radblr's hippocrisy\misogyny\ homophobia\biphobia and I feel similarly about the situations my other friends\mutuals like catboy\inosa\(insert other bisexual users harassed off this site) have experienced because I know the way they've been treated has hurt them (but macros in particular is very fresh/recent) maybe that's just my perspective as someone who highly values privacy

It also it doesn't feel good to have women on here, a good portion of whom DO call themselves feminists and claim to be opposed to homophobia repeat the same words and treat me in the same way as the worst male misogynists/homophobes ive encountered irl. Is it worse than when men do it? No, but I don't think its less bad either tbh, per my pinned post. So at a certain point I do just get my fill with being treated badly and want to reblog biden blast memes without being sexually harassed or whatever

[joannerowling]

re: ask about people "reclaiming", homophobic slurs that are not from their language.

It's very true. and it's coming equally bad from both sides. On one hand, people of non-english upbringing, who never lived in the environment and neve were submerged in the culture, where those slurs originated from, have literally no business reclaiming them. It's just ignorant and disrespectful. If some western trans gay boy began call himself a pidor/pidorás (really violent slur for gay man in many slavic languages) since he is gay so it's okay to reclaim this quirky slavic word for gay ppl, i would go feral. I don't understand, why doesn't it work the other way. It so easy to think for a moment and understand that it's not your word to reclaim.

But on the other hand, english-speaking LGBTQ+ community has desensitised q slur so much, that for a foreigner, who is constantly in these online spaces, it's doesn't seem like it's a slur at all. A lot of new labels and genders and orientations are now including the slur, so maybe it okay to use. That's why im constantly stumbling upon people from my native online spaces, who call themselves queerplatonic or queergender or something like that. (the f slur hasn't reached us so far and i hope never will). I can totally see how someone just picked a label because it became so common in the US/Canada/UK, and the opposite opinions are drowned out by the louder crowds or labeled terfy.

I will say, to play devil's advocate here a little only for the sake of rounding the argument: language doesn't evolve spontaneously, and occasionally slurs can go from "slurs" to "no longer slurs" through cultural change. For example, in French, we have the word "con", which initially meant vagina and would have been used as a misogynistic insult (basically the same as "cunt", i believe the two are etymologically close). However today "con" has evolved to be used exclusively for men with a relatively large range in meaning (going from "dickhead" to "idiot"; sometimes it's applied in a genderless way, kind of teasingly - as in "t'es con" to mean "you're a bit of a dummie" or "you just made a bad joke/excessive one". It's all in the tone and context). Most, oh i'd really say 90% of French people at this point, have no idea what "con" used to mean. I've had that conversation with a French radfem once who said she refused to use it because of the original meaning, and my question to her was, what matters when identifying an insult, the word itself or the intent? It's an open one.

Perhaps this is what people hope will happen to "queer", though i don't think it's a good parallel with "con" - it could be if "queer" was used to design some completely different group or thing than homosexuals. You could argue it's already kind of happening though, many more people than you'd suspect have started recognising that "queer" and "gay" are different things (mostly because "queer" associations and media have completely stopped putting forth the fight for same-sex rights). I've seen that sentiment on radblr, "they can call themselves queer all they like but don't include me in it", as well as the firmer "queer is insulting period, and heteros don't get to reclaim a slur that was never thrown at them". Since it's not my language i'm not gonna pick one position over the other, but i guess both exist for equally good reasons.

(Like you i also noticed "faggot" is much less subjected to that. People seem a little more aware of that one and less willing to "reclaim it" or approriate it, outside of the worst of trans identified women. Why that is i don't know. Maybe because it's perceived as being more exclusively used for gay men, and violence against gay men is more well-known in general?)

Another thing your second paragraph highlights is something we don't talk about a lot i think: that for how culturally diverse "queer" spaces claim to be, they are fairly homogenous and singularly minded beneath the surface. Especially outside of native English speaking countries, because the kind of people who can speak English fluently enough to access these topics have specific backgrounds (it's very visible in France because people are generally not good at English here). This is why you can find several active LGBTQIA+ groups in Paris or some big cities and will struggle to find even one in much less prestigious unis.

[w1ckedwoman]

Question for the holiest weebfem I know on radblr, is watching Revolutionary Girl Utena worth it?

I've read that it's "shocking it was made by a guy because of how well it captures the female experience, the woman carrying the cross for the male sins, and a female protagonist who rejects femininity"? Does it actually live up to this praise?

Not gonna lie, it's kinda difficult for me to answer this because I watched Utena a few years ago when I hadn't started my research on feminism yet, but I'll put my two cents in anyway.

I find the way it questioned gender roles refreshing even by today's standards, and I really like how it never feels too "in your face" or "preachy", it makes you think and reach a conclusion. Plus, it had a pretty positive outlook on homosexuality, without making a joke out of it like other anime of the time (and nowadays tbh). Also, if you enjoy symbolism and surrealism, you will have a great time lol

Now, there are some points I can see some people may find negative. Utena is a pretty episodic show, specially the second arc, so I wouldn't recommend binge watching it. Also, there are some melodrama moments that are fairly common in shoujo, so if you don't like works targeted to that demographic, it can be annoying I guess (I really like shoujo so I dont mind tbh xD)

As a warning, there are depictions of incest and sexual assault, nothing explicit and as far as I remember, there weren't romanticized at all, but I think is fair to say it just in case.

I wish I remembered more, but that's about what I can say, I guess I need to rewatch it some time in the future. Thanks for asking anyway gyn <3

[faildaughtered]

I have to be honest, Radical Feminism is super interesting to me, it's not something that I entirely agree with but I must admit particularly when it's intersectional it can make some points. But there's was one thing that I find super weird tbh and that's like the fact it seems that you often hate men. Which like I get... I've gone through periods of my life when that was def the case and I still think there's something inherently problematic about the state of men today. However, it seems weird to base your ideas on things you hate rather than things you fight for. (yeah don't deny this I see your username) It just seems you base your ideology on the idea there is simply something inherently evil about men which seems like a weird belief. This also lines up to anti-kink, anti-sex-work stuff where you like at one area which is bad and is like well obviously this is all bad. If you did this we might as well just nuke the planet because I can't even list all the things wrong with it and there is tbh no hope in that case and probably the existence of such a world is impossible. I guess it comes that I find that Radical Feminism does not consider a lot of nuances in the world that they will need to accurately critique and change society to improve it. This is present in the premise of the ideology where you see society as a world in which men oppress women and that's it one group has the power and one doesn't (obv this is simplistic to your ideology but the idea that those who benefit from having a higher social standing are not affected negatively at all by the systems which oppress other groups more) when for me the main enemy is the system, many people particularly those in positons of power may be evil but the disadvantaged can be as well. The main intention of social change and reform should be to get rid of oppressive structures we unfortunately base our society on. But idk what do u think?

this probably deserves a longer response but just to clarify i don’t think men are inherently evil or inherently oppressive (though like there’s obviously a biological component to male aggression) because that gives them a pass /excuse. i think they are socialized into having the traits of toxic masculinity not born with them, and though socialization isn’t easy to overcome it’s not impossible. i think there’s always a choice. and this might be controversial on radblr but i don’t TRULY hate all men or think every man is evil but i don’t feel bad about saying i do because i hate the impact the male sex as a whole has had on humanity. and like i do think gender roles impact men negatively but i think it really pales in comparison to how much gender roles hurt women so it’s not worth bringing up a lot of the time especially in response to women talking about their own oppression

[farm-lesbian]

Wait what did people fall for? Im out of the loop

all good it was only like two posts or something so there’s not really a loop to be out of! i’m just old man talking at cloud. but basically, following today’s school shooting there was misinformation around who the shooter was, and one of those inaccurate posts was that it was a TIM named “sam hyde.” if you don’t know the backstory there, it’s is that whenever there’s a mass shooting or tragedy the 4chan type people make posts en masse saying “the shooter has been identified as sam hyde” or some variation of that name, with an edited pic of the same blonde guy. no clue how it originated or who that guy in the pics even is, but it’s one of their in-jokes/memes that they push to see how many people they can fool. (but beyond that specific example i feel too many otherwise capable women on radblr slack on fact checking lately, that’s me on my soapbox though)

[watermelinoe]

Whenever you see blogs on radblr shitting on bi ppl (which is often), one of the points I see them making is almost always “they co-opt our homosexuality and give us a bad name!” Or “they try to speak for us on issues surrounding same-sex relationships” like… the fucking AUDACITY. The selfishness, the arrogance to think that bisexuals can “co-opt” homosexual attraction from you. As though we are larping or doing blackface or something.

We naturally experience homosexual attraction and us talking about our experiences with it and with same-sex relationships is not talking over anybody or stealing anything from anybody. It’s an innate part of our sexuality and you don’t own it any more than we do. It’s insane to suggest that bisexuals should only acknowledge or speak about their opposite sex attraction and completely ignore the whole other aspect to our sexuality because another group thinks we are painting over their experiences by talking about OUR personal experience with it.

Like just cause you don’t personally identify with a bisexual person’s experience with same-sex attraction doesn’t mean the bi person is wrong or problematic! It makes perfect sense that we have different experiences and that’s ok! You should speak about your experiences in your own time and not tell bi people they are ruining the LGB community and speaking over gay people or whatever just because they are voicing their OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

Like literally today I’ve seen blogs doing the “oh bi people are awful, they play act as gay and want to take part in gay relationships and then ruin the community because they’re not exactly like us” like Jesus! I swear some of these people are so terminally online and obsessed with “axes of oppression” shit that they’ve forgotten the definition of bisexuality.

You might be exclusively same-sex attracted, and you are entitled to speak on that experience. But you don’t own same-sex attraction, we are allowed to talk about our experience of that too.

i think we need to adjust the language we use and then it would be more clear. and i think this has come from both directions, with both groups using gay and homosexual and lesbian as like umbrella terms for same-sex attraction and relationships, and this leads to bi people overstepping into gay territory but also leaves us w no language to talk about our own experiences and getting left behind. i just think using homosexual and same-sex interchangeably ends up w us stepping on each others' toes. bi people should be able to talk abt our sexuality outside of the framework of homophobia bc otherwise we're accused of appropriating gay experiences and/or claiming we experience "heterophobia" bc we want to talk abt our issues when dating the other sex. idk, i think it's okay to embrace that we're different

[girlboss-enthusiast]

Hiiiii I saw you answer a couple of asks from who are worried because they're starting to agree with radfems, and well, it's my case too (long ask ahead).

I have a lot of trans friends, and my partner is trans (nb), but trans women specifically are starting to really rub me the wrong way. I want to preface all this by saying that I believe in bodily autonomy for transness too (I think trans people should be able to get hrt and all the care they need, people should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies), and using someone's preferred pronouns isn't a big deal and makes them more comfortable. Like it's not in my interest to dismiss that or their struggles because they do face barriers rooted in misogyny or transphobia.

However. Holy shit trans women act like men about feminism and everything related to women's rights. I genuinely hate the current trend of prioritizing their opinion over cis women's in every conversation when, in my opinion, they do not have the experience to even speak from a woman's perspective. Most trans women I see have been out online and sometimes irl for like 3 years tops, do not pass, and have the gull to talk about how bad feminism is and how it excludes them and it genuinely blows my mind. We're worlds apart but I cannot comment on it without being called transphobic.

By the way being called transphobic as a woman is genuinely horrifying today. Like, trans women online have this hatred towards TERFs which is quite frankly just awful misogyny. If I'm seen as one they'll want to kill me. I hate to say this because I get it sounds like white people complaining about "everything being racist today" but genuinely everybody is so happy to call others TERFs now.

And somehow, despite men controlling the laws that oppress them, despite men killing them the most, despite queer women being most likely to accepting them across demographics, they hate women more than anything and with such intense vitriol it's nauseating. Rape threats and misogynistic insults are normalized and saying basic feminist takes is vilified.

I want so so so bad to not think all of this but it's been a trend in all my friend groups. Trans women applauding vaush's misogynistic jokes, taking the side of men and in general being so far removed from the female experience they can't possible empathize with the vast vast majority of women. I think they don't question themselves because people are bulk rejecting the concepts of sex based oppression and gendered socialization and of course they do. Of course it's very easy to reject it when you've always been treated as the default. Of course you wouldn't see it when it hasn't harmed you systemically. Jesus christ.

And I can't tell them any of this. I can't argue that their perspective on life is male, and it's because of that that some misogynistic oppression doesn't apply to them, not because it's fake. I just have to accept whatever they think and whatever they want to define me as. I have to shut up in my own groups and let them do the talking because I'm just a stupid cis woman. They think they're the most oppressed group on earth when most of them did not even experience this most of their lives and it's so frustrating to deal with. They kept the confidence and mansplaining but now they're a protected identity so nobody can call this shit out. This is always used as like a way to make fun of radfems but yeah, fields like medicine not saying women anymore is a massive step back, women's health is already so fragile and understudied and now people have even more of a reason to not give a fuck because it doesn't include trans women.

I think this has been building up inside of me for a while now. It is starting to come out because I keep seeing this pattern and I got called transphobic despite my best effort of either concealing all of this or being nice to them. I'm extremely scared of getting radicalized but I genuinely don't know what to do, and radblr has been the only space I can agree with recently. Queer communities online and irl are so full of misogyny I don't want to really be involved in them even as a queer woman. I genuinely do know nice individual trans women and all but it's always those who actually pass or have been identifying as trans for a long time which is not the majority of them online at all. Sorry for being super long and kinda venty but yeah have a nice day!!

ANON I'M SORRY FOR NOT ANSWERING SOONER!! This has been in my ask box for ages but I forgot about it until now.

Your exact situation seems to be a major reason why many women (esp lesbians) find radical feminism in the first place—probably half the radfems I know ended up on radblr bc of this. It requires a lot of cognitive dissonance to have experiences like this with trans women but still believe TWAW.

As for your fear of getting radicalized—I know exactly where you're coming from. I worried about the same thing. But you don't automatically get radicalized because you agree with some posts, you know? Read/watch widely. Consider your feelings/opinions about various radfems stances and how they contrast with what you've believed in the past (or how they are similar!). Be thoughtful and trust your judgement.

Regardless of your eventual conclusions, you'll be more knowledgeable on feminist topics and better able to articulate your points, which is always a plus.

Good luck, anon! I hope you find some comfort and/or answers soon. Feel free to send another ask, I'll do my best to answer it on time :)

[ukrfeminism]

Hi all,

Hiatus over, and I'd like to talk about Filia.

Filia is a UK-based grassroots feminist conference, the largest in Europe, and is being held this year in Cardiff, Wales, from the 22nd-24th October.

This year's speakers include guests from Vancouver Rape Relief, Fair Play For Women, Women's Place UK, and Collective Shout, as well as feminist film maker Vaishnavi Sundar, and many more. There will also be a rally against male sexual violence, an open mic and comedy night, a film night, a networking event, and a women-only party. This is the UK feminism event of the year.

More than just the individual sessions, which are fantastic opportunities for learning and awareness raising, Filia is a life-changing experience in itself. Being surrounded by almost exclusively women, feminists, of all ages and backgrounds and experiences, is revelatory. It's a chance to meet other women in your area, to form connections across regions, to find organisations that represent your interests and feelings, and to contribute to the next wave of feminist thought.

What is also amazing about Filia is that the conference is by no means the be-all and end-all of the organisation's work. They organised a solidarity fast to demand the release of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. They are working with LGBT refugees in the Kakuma refugee camp in Kenya, and with Hague Mothers. And every year, the organisation does a year's work with the residents of the area hosting next year's conference, supporting local feminist organisations, and funding schemes for women, from cooking courses to swimming lessons.

You can buy conference tickets by the day, starting at £15, or for all three days, starting at £36, for concession tickets - the full price with donation is only £132 for three days, if any of you have that capacity. If you know you won't be able to attend the conference, but want a woman who wouldn't be able to otherwise, to be able to attend in your stead, you can buy a solidarity ticket for £25. You can also do a one-off donation, or become a Friend of Filia by donating £1-10 a month, to support their ongoing work.

I'm hopeful it will be possible to organise a meetup at Filia, so radblr women can meet each other and forge real world connections - if you'd like to get ahead of the game, and be put in touch with other attendees from your area, to organise travel or accommodation, please get in touch and I'll do all I can to help you. If you're planning to attend from Cardiff, and would be willing to put someone up during the conference, please let me know.

See you at Filia! Women's Liberation Now!

[rf-times]

Is matriarchy a naive idea?

Delphy also makes a very good point about how we think about prehistory and exploitation of women that I think is very pertinent to radblr’s interest in matriarchy and why men oppress women.

There are many who like to assume that women had a very high status in prehistory and there’s two kind of streams of belief with this:

1. Women did a ton of socially important work and roles that we might not traditionally expect of them: they invented a ton of things, joined in on hunts and held religious significance...therefore women must have had high social influence!

2. Women did do the things we traditionally expect of them, like gathering and looking after children, but these are actually super important and essential to the survival of the community...therefore women must have had high social influence!

Both of these ideas fall into the naive trap of assuming that social value is determined by usefulness. But this has not been the case in pretty much any time in history and certainly not today, so how can we possibly say that the existence of women doing important, socially useful tasks meant that they were held in high regard? Especially because this kind of line of reasoning is used to suggest that the real problem with patriarchy is that men do not recognise the usefulness of women (both lines of thinking have a “see women can be useful!” tone to them) rather than the far more obvious situation of men knowing exactly how useful women are. Would we say the same that the ruling class’s contempt for the proletariat is just because they don’t understand the working class is usefu?

[cozycourse]

I know I said a dozen reasons but I’m tired and can only think of ten if that’s okay

1) JKR’s essay and the subsequent hate for her made more people look into gender critical views end up in radfem circles

2) Other events cause mass peaking among radfems. Most recently, the woman who was doxxed by a trans woman (I believe) for blocking the trans woman who made her uncomfortable. Another example was pxr some time back who was run off of tumblr for commenting/making a joke (can’t remember which) about not wanting to fuck a dick as a lesbian.

3) Homophobic abuse and conversion therapy in the name of trans activism causes people to peak

4) Misogyny, silencing of women, and sexual violence in the name of trans activism causes people to peak

5) Seeing women reduced down to their body parts (eg: uterus haver, vagina owner, etc) in the name of being inclusive causes people to peak, especially when opposed to the men who don’t experience the same labelling

6) Other forms of violent threats and abuse in the name of trans activism causes people to peak

7) Lots of people get confused by the contradicting lies about radfems or keeping up with new trans identities which leads them to actually read radfem logic and then they become radfems (know more than one radfem who peaked from hate-reading radfem blogs)

8) Seeing trans women in women’s sports and other denials about the existence/importance of biological sex causes people to peak

9) Since r/GC went down, radfems have found other spaces to come together and radblr has been one of the better ones for community so more people flock here (like I’ve seen two posts about how toxic radtwitter is today)

10) The ‘based on your likes’ function typically shows TRAs radfems because we often run in circles not too far separated from each other (through similar feminist topic posts and cryptos) which makes it look like there’s just a lot of us

Makes sense, I’m tired too lmao. Decided to reply to some of them by number!

Makes sense, I read up on that said essay and it’s..certainly something.

What woman doxxed whom, I feel like there’s needed context here. Lesbians not wanting to take dick is fine and NOT transphobic at all, BUT it depends on context and how you say it.

Source? You can’t just say things and not give me at least a site reference.

Again…source? Thats a very strong statement you’re making that sexual violence has been taken place in the name of trans activism!

There’s a LOT to unpack in this one reply.

Woman are ‘reduced’ down to their body parts due to not all woman having said parts. Not all woman have a vagina, uterus, whatever the fuck.

 also this might come as a shock to you, but intersex people exist and intersex people need to be included, hence inclusive language. (this goes for both ‘men’ & ‘woman’)

It’s the same for men as well, at least in the circles i’m in. i use my fair share of “if someone has a cock” or “ball haver” in replace of something else!

The concept of men and women are societally made anyways, we have given ourselves these labels (cause that’s all they are, labels.)

6) source?