#token non-muncher

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

What’s living with munchousen syndrome like? Is it similar to BIID? /gen

Is there anything people with munchousen’s would like me to know? How can I help those who have it?

I really want to learn more about it.

This is a very nice ask. Thank you, sir!

Living with Munchausen for me is like... It's hard to describe in words in a way that I'm happy with. There's just this constant dissonance between the depth of my emotions and damage that, in my own mind, doesn't really align with my real life experiences.

And I know a big part of that is internalized neglect from trauma. The trauma must have been bad enough because I wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't, but the dissonance is still there and I think most of that comes from, for me, the fact that it's like... no matter how I explain it or what I try to manifest it in a way people can understand, it feels like they never do?

Or maybe that's a bad way of putting it. I guess it's not so much that they don't understand it so much as they don't have to live with it like I do. Their experience is fundamentally different from mine. They have their own problems, but that doesn't just make my own problems disappear, but I've been raised to think it does. My problems don't matter unless they're bad enough, pervasive enough, that they cannot be ignored by anyone else. Otherwise they effectively cease to exist the moment the topic changes. Out of sight, out of mind.

So I start wishing for worse things to happen. I try to make myself sick. I search, endlessly, for that magical thing that will make it unquestionably "bad enough" to matter. For me to matter.

It's a harrowing experience, feeling like you fundamentally don't matter unless you're incomprehensibly damaged.

I personally have absolutely zero experience with the BIID experience. I don't have it and I don't know anyone with it necessarily, so I can't really speak on the similarities myself. However, I've heard around from others that it is a similar experience, or at least similarly stigmatized.

As for things I'd like people to know? I guess, at this stage, just that we exist. There's so many misconceptions about what Munchausen Syndrome is. It's hard to really... go down the list or anything.

It's not about being "transabled" or what have you, not to me. It's about being taken seriously because we've never been taken seriously before. It's about being acknowledged because we've never been acknowledged before. It's about being loved and cared for because we've never been loved or cared for before.

People seem to think we're maliciously trying to encroach on disabled spaces explicitly to do harm to them when... that has genuinely never been the case.

Moreover, a lot of people focus so much on the deceit and faking aspects in service of "fakeclaiming" culture, without really realizing that more often than not, there's an inducing aspect that gets swept completely under the rug.

I don't just pretend I'm sick. When things get bad enough I will make myself sick, either by extreme self-neglect, deliberate consumption of unsafe food, or other unsafe and dangerous practices. I've heard of others who will straight up consume lethal substances. It's not pretty.

And then in the realm of helping people with it... In a specific sense, I'm sorry to say that the misunderstanding and stigma is so pervasive even in the psychiatric field that I genuinely don't really have an answer for you. I'm still barely scraping by figuring out how to cope for myself.

In a general sense, I guess... the starting point is to at least acknowledge we exist, and go a step further and make an understanding and welcoming space that doesn't shame our experiences or immediately relegate ourselves to scrutiny over every single issue we have as "potentially faking."

That's honestly what this whole blog is for. I initially made it just for myself to vent my own frustrations without outing myself or my system and subject them to everyone questioning whether or not we're real when the system stuff is the LAST thing I would have considered in respect to my Munchausen. Now it's blossomed into this whole safe space where people can feel free to talk about their own experiences and that's been amazing to see. At first I was kind of surprised that there was any market for this, but now I'm starting to realize that no, it's not that nobody was there, it's just that there was no space like this for us before. And that's sad to think about, but at least there is one now.

Something else I hear a lot about "illness faking" in the "service" of those with Munchausen is this broken record that they don't matter and to just ignore them. Which... I get the sentiment they're going for, what they're really trying to say is that we're not inherently harmful or doing any harm to people just by existing and to leave it alone, but the way they go about it kind of rubs me the wrong way. It's the sort of sentiment people say and then never go further about. It's almost performative.

It feels less like they want to make space to allow us to coexist and more like they want to sequester us away as a weird subdivision that nobody talks about because it doesn't matter, and I will reiterate that a big part of Munchausen is root in feeling like we don't matter. Relegating us to an isolated closet that no one talks to or thinks about is still harmful to us. It defeats the purpose of the relief we're seeking.

I'm not necessarily saying that you should blindly play along, nor am I saying that "fakeclaiming" is a good thing. Personally I'm more of a Schrodinger's Truth kind of guy, preferring to approach anyone with the mindset that literally anything they say is simultaneously true and untrue until context is achieved. Going out of your way to scrutinize people's behavior to catch them in a lie is inherently harmful witch hunting behavior. Even in the sense of privately coming to the conclusion that someone might be faking, I think, is inherently exclusionary and gatekeepy even if you don't take any action on that conclusion.

However, I think it might be better and more helpful that rather than turn this into a debate about faking and focusing on the potential for deceit, it would do people with Munchausen Syndrome a world of good if people instead focused on the reasoning everyone has behind certain things.

People have a tendency to hate liars, and get up in arms about illness faking because they feel slighted for being deceived. Lies are misconstrued as being inherently malicious in nature, but that isn't true. Lies are inherently morally neutral. Rather than focus on the truth or the lie, the intention is more important than anything, I think. Instead of picking apart a person's actions to deduce the validity, approach them with good faith and examine their woes and provide the compassion that will ease those woes.

That goes for everyone, too, not just people with Munchausen Syndrome, because you have no way of knowing for sure which is which until you take the time to unpack someone's intentions.

You never know just by looking who's trying to tell a kind lie.

[twonewkidsonesouthpark]

Birthday fic for Buttlord

So, day late, dollar short, but cut me some slack I have TWO birthdays to celebrate the 28th and I’ve been out for the past 12 hours doing so XD

Happy birthday @justcallmebuttlord​, have some cute twin bday fic ^^

“Happy birthday to you,”

“Happy birthday to you,”

“Happy birthday dear Lynnie,”/“Happy birthday dear Lyssie,”

“Happy birthday to us.”

--

Alyssa and Lynnea Ostenmeyer could be forgiven for being confused when they walked downstairs to a veritable feast waiting for them for breakfast. They glanced at each other, identical confusion in their eyes. Finally, Alyssa shrugged, making for the table to sit down. This was hardly the weirdest thing that had happened since the ill-fated ‘hero’ game. With their father having taken up cooking instead of pot brownies, they had a lot better meals (with a lot less drugs slipped into their meatloaf).

“Good morning girls!” Kelly sing-songed, coming into the kitchen.

“Morning mom,” Lynn replied, glancing at Alyssa, Did we slip into an alternate timeline in our sleep or something?

Alyssa shrugged, face clearly as confused as Lynnea felt. Both of them were distracted as two piled high stacks of pancakes were set down in front of them.

“We forgot to tell you, we’re having the house cleaned today, so you’ll have to spend the day out,” Chris said from the counter, cracking a couple of eggs into a bowl of batter, “Hope you don’t mind!”

So, same thing we do every weekend, then? Alyssa took a bite of bacon.

Kelly and Chris shared an indecipherable glance over their heads, “Well, once you’re done with breakfast, get dressed and head out. We’ll message the two of you when it’s all done, okay?”

-

“That was weird, right?” Lynnea asked as they stepped down off their front porch steps, “Like, that wasn’t just me?”

Alyssa shook her head. No, definitely weird. Mom and dad are up to something.

“...you don’t think we have to move again, do you?” Lynnea asked, voice suddenly taking on a panicked edge, “I thought we’d been taking care of the government guys so they wouldn’t notice.”

No, I don’t think so at least, Alyssa cocked her head to the side. It was enough to get Lynn to relax as they headed down the street.

“Wanna see if the guys are busy?” Lynn asked, not waiting before heading across the front yard to Butters’ house and knocking on the door.

Both twins were grateful that it was Mrs. Stotch who opened the door, “Oh! Hello there you two,” she greeted, “I’m afraid Butters is --” Please don’t say grounded, “--n’t home right now.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Lynn said, hopping down the steps, “He’s probably at Cartman’s if he’s not here.”

Alyssa nodded, leading the trudge through the snow this time to the next house down, “Hello Dee, Lynnea. I’m sorry, but Eric’s gone out already.”

Curiouser and curiouser, Alyssa thought, nodding and going back down the driveway to meet Lynn.

“Cartman too?” She asked, surprised. Alyssa nodded, “Kyle and Stan’s, maybe?”

Alyssa frowned slightly, but nodded, following her sister down the street.

“Okay, what the fuck,” Lynnea asked emphatically as Mrs. McCormick shut the door, “Is going on today? Butters, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, AND Kenny are all out?”

Can’t get ahold of Clyde’s gang either, Alyssa turned her phone screen toward Lynnea, showing unanswered messages to Clyde, Token, Tweek, and Craig.

“Tricia, Karen, and Ike aren’t answering me, either,” Lynn said, frowning at her phone, “Well… alright, fuck the boys too, they can do whatever it is they’re doing without us. Feel like hanging out with Wendy?”

Wendy’s always cool, Alyssa nodded, watching as her twin’s fingers flew over her phone keyboard, then pause.

“Wendy’s busy too,” she said, “And she went offline after I messaged, what the heck? Since when does Wendy Testaburger go radio silent?”

Ooookay this is officially donkey balls levels of weird, Alyssa frowned, looking at her friends list. Their usual gang of miscreants was all offline… or invisible, she wasn’t sure which.

“This blows,” Lynn muttered. They had relocated to the park, with Lynn peeking into the girls room to see if there’d been a meeting today she didn’t know about in the Sunshine Sparkle Club, but they’d found it empty. So now, they sat on the swings in sullen, confused silence.

Fuck ‘em, Alyssa reached over to squeeze Lynn’s hand, Not the first time we’ve gotten by alone. We don’t need those cock guzzling taint munchers anyway.

Lynn squeezed back, her grip noticeably weaker, as she continued to scroll through her phone. Alyssa rolled her eyes, and grabbed the phone with her free hand, “Hey!”

No more phone for you, you’re just getting upset.

“At least give it back so I can play something while we wait,” Lynn pouted. Alyssa gave her a flat, disbelieving look, “I won’t even open facebook or instagram, okay?”

Uh huh, Alyssa didn’t believe THAT line for a second, but she handed Lynn her phone back. Probably a wise choice, given that it was nearly another two hours before their phones simultaneously ‘pinged’ with messages from either parent that it was time to come home now.

“I’m half tempted not to,” Lynn admitted, skipping a rock across the top of the pond, “But they’d probably just come looking for us like the time we got lost in the forest.”

Given that they discovered that the forest was full of non-linear paths, satanic fauna, and aggressive wolves. Alyssa wasn’t necessarily complaining about THAT particular rescue. But the two of them threw the last of their gathered pebbles skittering across the top of the water’s half-frozen surface before heading back to their street, and past the bus stop back to their home.

Lynnea got to the door first, skipping over all the icy bits of the walkway up the stairs, and stomping her boots free of dirty snow on the mat before shoving the door open and --

“SURPRISE!”

Alyssa isn’t sure which of them react first -- either way, they both had the SAME reaction; time freezes, suspended with the smell that could burn hair off anyone too close by. It was probably a good thing that they were both immune -- sort of -- by now to their particular brand of… superpower.

“Wha -- oh my god,” Lynnea said, as they surveyed the scene that they had just ripped one on, “Oh my god. It’s our birthday.”

...fuck me running, it is, Alyssa realized, looking around the living room.A banner hung above the kitchen doorway reading HAPPY BIRTHDAY in vibrant letters, a veritable mountain of presents below it on the table. It looked like EVERY kid their parents had ever seen them so much as look at for more than a few seconds was in there.

There was a sniffle from beside her, and Alyssa looked over to see Lynn tearing up, “Wh -- whoa, hey, what’s with the waterworks?” she asked, safe to speak with no one to hear her but her twin.

“We -- we’ve never celebrated it before,” Lynn hiccuped, wiping at her eyes.

Alyssa didn’t have time to say much else -- she could feel the air straining around them, like a rubber band about to snap. It was always disconcerting to snap back into place as time began to flow forward again, even if she hadn’t really moved all that much.

“Aw, dude, c’mon!” Stan said, waving a hand over his nose as, with time unfreezing, the smell of using their powers hit the rest of the party as well. Alyssa shrugged at him, scooting around the gaggle of girls that had surrounded Lynnea the moment they’d noticed the burgeoning waterworks, Motherfucker you all should know what happens when you surprise us, you’re lucky you didn’t get hit and we were still out on the step. Now one of you want to explain the fresh FUCK is happening here?

“Your parents invited all of us over,” Kyle expounded without much more prompting than her raised eyebrow.

“Why didn’t you two ever tell us when your birthday is?” Stan asks, which gets him a look, “Okay, why didn’t LYNN tell us when your birthday is, wise ass?”

Alyssa shrugged, You never asked.

“Lame excuse man,” Kenny said, “Wendy had to dig this shit up and suggest the party to your parents.”

And depending on how this goes, I owe that girl SO many cookies, or a punch in the face, Alyssa glanced over the boys’ heads, at the gaggle of girls surrounding her sister, who looked a lot less wet-eyed now, laughing and accepting gentle scoldings for likely the same thing the boys were digging at her about. Wendy caught her looking and grinned unapologetically, ...maybe cookies AND a punch in the face, she amended privately.

“Whatever, not like it’s a big deal anyway,” Cartman grumped, distracting her from Wendy and her smug ass grinning, “No kewl party has girls at it.”

“Dude. They’re twins. And Lynn’s a girl,” Craig deadpanned.

“Y-yeah, it’s b-both their parties, of c-course the girls are gonna be here,” Tweek said.

Cartman huffed, “Whatever. I’m gonna be over HERE, NOT getting cooties,” he said, shuffling off to the other side of the room.

“Ignore him,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes, “He’s just bitter that you two get more presents.”

“And that people actually want to give you presents that aren’t off an itemized list,” Kenny snickered.

Alyssa raised a brow, Okay, gonna have to fill me in on that one --

“Who wants to break the pinata?” Chris called from the direction of the backdoor.

--after I beat a paper mache donkey to death, move it assholes.

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

Apollogies if I already sended this, my memory is kinda bad (or not if you like to get complimented twice or even three time ?) : I really like your account ! I do not have Munchassen Syndrome or any similar disorder. BUT, I find it admirable that you do an account to speak so much about a disorder that is stigmatized, even within the neurodivergent community, and give peoples a place to talk about their experiences and submit headcanon about their fav. I love all of it so much, it's so great !! Also you seem to be one of the few one to talk about factitious disorder and Muncassen Syndrom, so thanks to you I learned about a disorder

Thank you so much, anon! Just so you know, this is the first time you've sent this, and I really 'preciate it! I'm glad that my blog got to teach even one person about Munchausen Syndrome. That means a lot!

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

Is it okay for people without munchausen to interact? I have BIID and cluster-b disorders & in self-harm recovery. I can partially relate to the munchausen experience in the way I had to 'dramatize' my physical health issues and wished I had it worse so I would be taken seriously. Medical neglect by my family and doctors go brr....

At least I don't think I qualify as munchausen? Unless it's a spectrum... Plus I have other disorders diagnosed that explain some of my behaviors and thought processes. /gen I'm specifically NPD & BPD with some HPD and ASPD symptoms. I used to think it's possible that I may have munchausen, but idk anymore.

I also just kinda shut down the thought because I was scared that if I even talked about it, I'd be accused about lying about everything that I do actually have and genuinely suspect that I have.

Hi anon, people without Munchausen are absolutely welcome and ENCOURAGED to interact! A big part of destigmatizing disorders like this is encouraging good faith interaction with people outside our sphere, so that everyone feels safe talking about and LEARNING about it.

Personally, I do believe there's a spectrum to be seen across the Munchausen experience. I like to stress that my own experience is not the end-all-be-all. Everybody's got their own unique shit going on that colors their experiences and the way their Munchausen presents.

However, I can absolutely understand the desire to keep that shit in the dark considering the stigma and prevalence to just write people off as liars the moment it comes out. That's a big part of why I made this blog, and why I will do everything in my power to keep anons on, so people can maintain their anonymity while talking about it if they so choose.

In any case, welcome aboard and thank you for the support and camaraderie! The Cluster B solidarity is real.

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

HELLOIDONTHAVEMUNCHAUSENSBUTTOTHEPEOPLEWHODOILOVEYOUANDYOUDESERVEALLTHEHAPPINESSINTHEWORLDANDNONEOFTHE"OMGTHEYREAFAKER"TYPEHATEPEOPLEWHODOTHATSUCKILOVEYOUGUYSOKAYBYE

For those who don't speak text string:

HELLO I DON'T HAVE MUNCHAUSENS BUT TO THE PEOPLE WHO DO I LOVE YOU AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD AND NONE OF THE "OMG THEY'RE A FAKER" TYPE HATE! PEOPLE WHO DO THAT SUCK I LOVE YOU GUYS OKAY BYE

To which I say OMG NOOOOOO ANON COME BACK THAT'S SO SWEET THANK YOU??????

We need more people like you around, seriously!

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

Just wanted to say, as a compulsive liar who's lying started out of a need for sympathy and attention and hardcore projects onto Kokichi, mad respect for you running this blog. From someone with one highly stigmatized disorder that's used as an excuse to write off anything you say to another, you've got all my solidarity forever.

Thank you so very much, sir, we definitely out here! I was just kind of sick of not being able to talk about shit, so I made this blog both to openly vent about my problems and give others an opportunity to openly vent about their problems. Someone had to do it or we'd all just be stewing alone forever!

Shaking your hand in projecting all of our misery onto Kokichi as well! The kin identity is strong, but I try not to get into all that. Did you know I had Kokichi himself in my askbox the other day? It's true!

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

I don't have Munchausens, but I'm genuinely so happy to see people talking about it in a way that doesn't demonize the people who suffer from it. I'm also glad to see the separation of people who fake or exaggerate illnesses themselves, and people who abuse others. They should not be under the same label.

Thank you so much anon, your support is much appreciated! It is me and my little gaggle of anons like a mother hen and her chicks (let's commiserate with mama!) here to take over the tag and make a change, one inane post and one blorbo at a time!

In all seriousness though, I'm glad that people have been mostly open and respectful about it. You guys rock. I used to write all my fic in super vague ways that tried to explain how I felt without explicitly attaching the label of Munchausen to it because I was afraid of what people would say or think. It was frustrating because without that context I would talk myself in circles trying to put into words the real gravity of the things I was trying to portray.

I made this blog so I could be a little more open about it and feel a little safer doing it, and it's been a weight off my shoulders because now I have a place to go to unload that miasma without pretending it's not what it is.

I hope that I can provide that same solace for the munchie anons that seek refuge here, and show people who don't have Munchausen a glimpse into what it's actually like being us. Maybe one day people will be willing to ask questions about it and then we can even open a dialogue! That sounds like a dream come true to me, because at least to me, the biggest problem we have is that nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to acknowledge or listen to us, either because they think we're inherently malicious or because they think engaging is "enabling" our behavior.

So it always really, truly means a lot when non-munchers pop in to show their support. Thank you so so much.

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

We out here!

I like to play projector with my problems but don't want to subject my personal blogs to scrutiny so here we are. This blog doubles as a place for me to vent and talk about my own munchies without having to beholden myself to the... I dunno, the whims of what's "real" I guess.

I started with the one gimmick but I'm a munchie of many hats so why the fuck not?

Things I'll accept:

Your fave requests (obviously)

"Munchausen culture is" style posts

Fandom-related confessions

Non-fandom-related confessions

Questions about Munchausen Syndrome

Rules:

I am not a vessel for your "narc abuse" trutherisms.

Nor am I a vessel for your proxy abuse trutherisms.

Nor am I a vessel for your illness faker trutherisms.

I personally prefer Munchausen Syndrome over factitious disorder because that name just makes it sound even faker than it already did and I'm not about that.

I cannot fathom a single media that would willingly canonize a character with Munchausen, so these will be considered headcanons. (Edit: Apparently there ARE some??? Wild.)

I need the character and the franchise (the name, no abbreviations please I can't be assed to decipher that shit) because I understand that I don't know everything. Or maybe that's a lie and I do and I'm just lazy.

You can specify as much or as little as you want, I'm not gonna judge.

That being said, I reserve the right to reject a submission if it comes off as bad faith to me (see rules 1-3).

You can ask me about my experiences or whatever I guess but if I don't like your vibe you will get a lie.

I am not the arbiter of the Munchausen Experience, my answers are obviously not going to be universal (in fact they're actually kind of hyperspecific and niche).

I use these flags by @kiruliom.

Anon List

Taglist under cut.

Taglist:

#your fave has the munchies - your fave posts

#munchie headcanons - fandomposting about characters dealing with Munchausen

#munchausen culture is - culture is posts

#confessions of a munchie - confession posts

#under scrutiny - good-faith questions

#munchie support - all support posts

#token non-muncher - support from people w/o Munchausen

#help! I have the munchies! - harm reduction, coping strategies, and comfort stuff

#shut up munchie - mod posts

#munchie vibes - other reblogs

#munchie is and always will be on that ouma grindset - for those of you to blacklist if you find my Oumaposting annoying