#top posts are out of order because the one from yesterday is still gaining

[kpopgirl1234bl]

Oh honey, i'm really sorry, my last request was removed from your tumblr cuz it violated tumblr's policies, i'm really really sorry, i'll be more careful next time :c

Thank you so much for telling me this, i didn't Even See it was gone. I got no word that it was taken down. I'll just post it again. Don't Worry Sweetie, it's not your fault at all.

Pairing: Takami Keigo(Hawks) x reader

Words: 1.7K

Requested: yes

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It'd been a week since Hawks transformed into a child, and the villain was in the police's custody.

Well, wouldn't you have it? The villain somehow escaped, and now it was your job to catch along with other heroes.

Since you and your agency had discovered the villain's quirk was touch-based, and you should avoid hand-to-hand combat with him or just come into contact with him.

Trying to catch proved to be a difficult task, and you and the other heroes contemplated how to capture him without getting touched by him.

It seems like the other heroes had a plan since they were gaining on him, But they weren't so lucky as they thought.

Right as the heroes were gaining on him on each side of him, but he jumped back and went straight towards you. Caught off guard, you didn't have time to react.

Before you knew it, he touched you.

"Oh shit! Y/n!" You heard someone shout before you heard someone running.

"Y/n, are you okay?" You felt someone pick you up. You looked at the person and didn't recognize them at all. You began screaming, crying, and squirming in the person's arms.

"Mom! Mom!" you screamed.

The person holding almost started panicking before trying their best to calm you down.

The hero finally managed to calm you down a little and told you that you were all going to the hero agency, The person told the other person next to them to call someone, but you didn't hear whom they would call.

While being transported to your hero agency, you clung for your dear life to the person holding you.

You finally arrived at the agency, and you put in a big chair in a waiting room.

"Now wait here, and I'll go see if we have some more fitting clothes, I'll be right back." The person said and patted your head before leaving you alone in the room. You nodded but didn't want them to. What if something happened.

A few minutes later, with an oversized shirt and a pair of child-sized pants that would fit you.

"There's a restroom right over there for you to change. You can do that right." The person asked you. You looked at the clothes and nodded, and walked into the restroom.

You finished dressing and walked into the waiting room again, where a strange man stood next to the person who had given you the clothes.

You hid behind the door, but unfortunately, the strangers had heard you.

"It's okay y/n he's not going to hurt you." The person told you, but you still hid behind the door, only peeking out from behind it.

You looked at the strange man, and he smiled and waved at you. You felt like you knew this man but didn't know why. Your fear slowly went away, and you stepped out of the restroom.

"Hi y/n." The man greeted you.

"H-hi." You stuttered out.

"Do you know who I am?" The man asked you. You looked the man up and down before answering him.

"A birdman." You said to him. The man looked at you for a second before bursting out laughing.

"That's right, and this birdman is here to bring you home." He smiled at you. You looked at the other person, and he smiled and nodded at you.

You shyly walked up to the man, and he crouched down.

"My name is Hawks. It is nice to meet you." Hawks stretched out his hand to you.

"It is nice to meet you Mr, birdman." You smiled at him and shook his hand. Hawks laughed, but on the inside, he was nearly dying because of how cute you were.

Hawks was holding your hand as you two walked out of the building. You immediately felt all eyes on you and began to feel anxious.

"Is that Hawks?"

"Why is he holding a kid's hand?"

"I didn't know he had a kid."

"Aww, they're so cute."

You heard all kinds of conversations. You walked closer to Hawks and began to cling to his leg.

"What's the wrong y/n?" Hawks asked you. You didn't say anything. You just looked around in a panic.

"Are you scared?" Hawks crouched down to your level. You nodded, and Hawks could see the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"Come here." Hawks said and wrapped his arms around you and hugged you. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and hid your face in his neck.

"Let's go home, okay." Hawks said to you, and you nodded but still hiding your face in his neck. Hawks picked you up and began walking home.

After some time with Hawks carrying you while walking, you looked up and looked around, and then you saw an ice cream shop.

"Ice cream." You said.

"Hm? Do you want some ice cream y/n?" Hawks asked you. You looked down but nodded your head.

"Let's go get some ice cream then!" Hawks smiled and walked into the ice cream shop.

Hawks let you choose your favorite flavor, but he decided to give you a cup, so you had better control over it.

You smiled as you ate your ice cream, and Hawks was nearly dying from how cute you were. How can you be so adorable even as a child?

You finished your ice cream, and you and Hawks began walking home. You tugged on Hawks' sleeve and made a grabby hand gesture towards his hand.

Hawks swears he nearly died on the spot.

He took your hand, and you two began walking home.

Once you reached home, You walked around looking at things.

"What are you doing y/n?" Hawks asked you.

"Looking." You told him.

"What are you looking at?" He asked.

"Everything." You looked at him.

"You can't look at everything from down there." Hawks smiled at picked you up. You squealed, and then Hawks began running around the place, pretending you were an airplane.

You laughed and spread out your arms as Hawks ran around. You and Hawks landed on the couch and laughed.

Hawks looked at the clock and saw it was getting late.

"Hey y/n, what do you want to eat for dinner?" Hawks asked you.

"I don't know." You said.

"Do you want f/f?" Hawks asked you and saw how your eyes lit up.

"Yes, please!" You said. Hawks laughed and ordered your favorite food.

The food arrived, and you two began eating. Hawks saw how happy you were while eating your food. You were jumping and humming while eating.

After finishing eating, you two cleaned up, and Hawks decided it was a good idea to get you to bed early, also because you were beginning to look sleepy.

Hawks found an old t-shirt for you to wear. You two brushed your teeth, and then Hawks left so you could change in peace.

Hawks let you into the bedroom and let you into the bed.

"Okay, you can go to sleep now. Sleep well." Hawks said and turned off the light.

"Where are you gonna sleep?" You asked him and looked at him.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch so you can sleep on the bed." Hawks told you.

"Noo, you can sleep with me." You whined.

"You want me to sleep with you on the bed?" Hawks asked you.

"Yeah, the dark scares me. I want birdman to protect me." You told him.

"Alright, alright, the big birdman will protect you from the dark." Hawks smiled and laid down beside you on the bed.

"Yay!" You said and wrapped your arms around his neck. Hawks placed an arm around you and held onto you.

"Birdman? Can you tell me a story?" You asked him.

"A story? What kind of story?" Hawks asked you.

"A fairy tale. " You said.

"Alright then, but then you have to go to bed afterward." You agreed, and he began telling you a fairy tale story.

Little did you know, Hawks was telling you the story of how you two met. Of course, he started telling the story in a more fairy tale style, with you being the princess and him being the prince.

Hawks got so into the story he didn't notice you had fallen asleep. He looked down at you and saw you had fallen asleep and smiled and pulled the blanket a little higher and kissed your forehead.

"Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams." He whispered and went to sleep with you.

BONUS

You woke up feeling something heavy lying on top of you. You looked to your side and saw Hawks fully asleep.

You started to remember yesterday's events and began to blush. You put your hands on your beet-red face and groaned into them.

"Someone doesn't sound very happy." You heard an all-too-familiar voice say. You turned your head and saw Hawks looking at you with a smirk.

You turned your head away and groaned.

"Oh come on y/n, your Birdman is here. You should be happy." Hawks said, and you felt him hugging you.

"Don't remind me, that was so embarrassing." You said.

"Aww, but you were so cute, clinging to me when you were all scared." Hawks kissed your shoulder.

"That wasn't fun." You grumbled. You turned around in Hawks' and faced him. You saw Hawks smiling at you, and you blushed.

"I never knew you were so anxious as a child." Hawks said and brushed a piece of hair out of your face.

"The world was a scary place when I was small." You told him, and he laughed a little.

You two just laid there in silence, Hawks stroking your cheek.

"You know, you were adorable as a child. I wouldn't mind having a little you running around someday." Hawks told you, and the thought made you blush even more.

"Well, maybe having a little Keigo wouldn't be so bad either." You admitted.

You heard your alarm go off. You groaned and turned around and turned it off.

"Well, I guess it is time to get up." You said and began to get up, But Hawks quickly pulled you down into bed again.

"I already called into work today and said we weren't coming in. I think it is time for me to repay you." Hawks told you.

"What favor?" You asked and laughed.

"I will make breakfast and coffee. You stay here and relax, my baby." You hawks told you and got up and walked to the kitchen.

You sat up and leaned against the headboard and sighed.

"He really would make a great dad one day." You smiled to yourself.

[herherteartear]

bonus | five and a half

a/n— a lil more context to yesterday's chapter, pls lmk ur thoughts!! <3 and yes this is very latee😭 pls ignore any mistakes, just wanted to post this asap lmaoo enojyy🤍!!!

word count— i don't mf know

they were really nice. like, oddly nice? you knew Nari told the Bangtan boys to be on their best behavior but that’s exactly what they were doing. you almost began to feel bad for coming into the night thinking the worst of them. well, almost.

they held out for a total of 17 minutes before Namjoon decided to shoot his shot. he stalked up to you, striking up a conversation where he pulled out his best compliments and light hearted jokes. while everyone else watched Namjoon make a fool of himself, Jungkook observed your reactions. you scowled at one particular compliment Namjoon spouted that would usually seal the deal.

Jin let out a belly laugh once Namjoon sulked away from you. Jimin held back his own laugh as he wrapped his arm over Namjoon's shoulders.

"hey, it's okay, Joon. think about all the other girls you could have. one loss is nothing!" you rolled your eyes at Jimin's attempt to console his friend. Namjoon instantly perked up. his mind reeling with which girl he could hit up with a text to end his night happily. classic fuckboys, you thought sourly.

the rest of the boys took to treating you like they treated Nari. which made your night a lot more enjoyable. they were decent people when they weren't thinking of who to fuck next, but you kept repeating your promise to Nari in your head to remind yourself to play nice. the boys kept you occupied with their incessant rambling of their crazy antics.

"it's bullshit! we stapled our logo to my bare ass and where's the footage?" Taehyung raged. he paused for dramatic effect before throwing his hands in the air. "uh, not in the movie, if that's what you were wondering!" he huffed. you laughed along with everyone else. the feeling of being watched came back, as it had been lingering on you the whole night; you turned your head to meet eyes with the pink haired boy. Jungkook took this opportunity to walk towards you.

the whole night, you made it a point to avoid Jungkook in particular. why? well, he was everything you liked in a guy, from the bright, tussled hair to his wide, starry eyes. and that scared you shitless. you gathered your courage as he approached you.

"if Tae gets anymore angry, Yoongi's going to start threatening him with firing him. you wanna dip before that happens?" Jungkook lowered his head to speak into your ear. his hand naturally found it's home on your hip. you inhaled a deep breath as chills ran through your body.

"no, i'm good. Nari's been wanting to tell me something so i should probably go to her." you lied. you felt his snort of laughter on your neck right as Jungkook pulled away. he turned to look at Nari and Hoseok lost in each other's mouths against a wall that they thought was hidden.

"looks like she's a little busy. c'mon, we can be busy too." Jungkook slipped his hand into yours and tugged you towards the backyard. you continued your chant in your head, only this one wasn't your promise to Nari. no, this one was your promise to yourself. all fuckboy's are the same.

Jungkook was used to things like this. he was used to picking a girl that caught his attention and sticking with her until he got what he wanted. he knew what to say and what to do in order to get a girl on her knees for him. he knew how to play the game. his playing field switched up after he witnessed the way you detested Namjoon's flirting. Jungkook realize his normal game plan wouldn't work on you. and he found himself fascinated by that.

yet, with that in mind, Jungkook didn't want to charm you into sleeping with him. no, he wanted to see your pretty, glossy smile grace your face as you talked to him about whatever the fuck you were thinking; he wanted to show off for you; and yes, he did want to see you in a much more dirty setting. but that wasn't at the top of his list, surprisingly. and that's how he found himself sitting on the grass, both of your hands still clasped together.

"you don't talk much." Jungkook noted. you wanted to laugh because you knew that was far from who you were. but you were deep in thought about why his hands were so soft? what lotion did he use to keep them that way? and why is he playing with your fingers? did he not know your heart was racing and you wanted to vomit?

"i do.. when i want to." you replied after what felt like lightyears. you took a beat. "when i'm with people i like." you teased, although you hoped he would take it as more of a warning. Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head cutely.

"that— that can't be right." he faked being in deep thought.

"why not?" you fired back. mindlessly, your fingers began to trace the tattoo's on his knuckles.

"because i'm perfect? i'm funny, i'm handsome, i've got tattoos? i've got it all." Jungkook puffed out his chest proudly. you scoffed and threw his hand off of your lap.

"oh, please." he laughed at your repulse. he grabbed your hand once more, but this time to pull you onto his lap. "what are you doing?" you tried to get off, but he trapped you with his arms and he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"i like coming out here at night. the stars look pretty." he completely ignored your question. god, this boy was something else. he had no regard for what his actions did to you. you huffed out a sigh. right as you opened your mouth to question him again, Jungkook said, "just, look up.. for a little." he nudged your chin upwards with his fingers.

they were really pretty. the backyard of the Bangtan boy's house had a perfect view of the stars, the landscape of Seoul. a small smile formed on your face. the stars looked awfully similar to Jungkook's eyes.

"do you come out here often?" you wondered out loud. ew, what the fuck? you sound interested in him. you brought your lip in-between your teeth to prevent you from slipping up again.

"only when i want to think." Jungkook admitted. he blushed, knowing not many people knew that about him. he lowered his vision to see what your face looked like under the moon's light. "i didn't think it was possible you could look any prettier." he mumbled. your heart jumped to your throat. stop. he probably says that to every girl he tries to use. all fuckboy's are the same.

"yeah, okay. how many girls has that worked on?" you laughed dryly. before Jungkook could reply, you were lifting yourself off of his lap. "i'm going back inside." you stated. you needed to get away from him. you should have avoided him better. now your poor heart was gaining delusional feelings for a certain pink haired boy. but never would you admit that to anyone. never ever.

Jungkook's arms felt a lot colder without you in them. he jumped to his feet and pulled you close to him by your hips. you squeaked out a noise of surprise as you found yourself so close to him so suddenly. your noses brushed against each other and you stared at each other. you dared to glance down at his shining lips.

"haven't used it on any other girl. no one's as pretty as you." Jungkook answered. he jutted his chin forward slightly, hoping to catch you in a quick kiss. but no. you weren't giving in that easily. you pulled away from him.

"hm. good luck with those lines, Kookie. maybe one day they'll work." you teased him with a smirk. Jungkook watched as you walked back into the house. he laughed out loud. no girl had ever made him feel as sexually frustrated as he was endeared.

that night you kept your promise to Nari very nicely. and it was all because Jungkook forced a moment of weakness out of you. you let your guard down for him. and maybe you let it down too much. because you left that night wishing your promise to yourself would somehow break itself. all fuckboy's are the same.. but maybe Jungkook was different. were you ready for that?

masterlist

taglist— @unadulteratedlyunique @preciouschimine @cholychi @letmebreathepls @juju-227592 @whitepinkish @kirbykook @yoongiofmine @janedukiesworld @ladyartemesia @secretlycrazyhummingbird @joonswhore @miriamxsworld @hjinnie @ggukkieland

[thenerdyindividual]

Okay so yesterday @sterlingdylan made this awesome analysis post about BBC Merlin, stating that it was neither Arthur’s nor Merlin’s fault that Merlin didn’t reveal his magic, something I 100% agree with.

Unfortunately, this post also got derailed by a discussion comparing Arthur’s attitudes to homophobia. Now, to be clear, I do think there are some parallels there. Writers will look to real world bigotry in order to write their fantasy bigotry better. For BBC Merlin, the bigotry does feel a lot like homophobia because magic is: a part of the characters and not something they chose, something the characters must hide or be put in danger, something characters worry makes them evil/monsters, etc. However, parallels are not the same thing as an allegory.  If we try to take BBC Merlin as a direct allegory for homophobia it falls apart because there are genuine reasons for people to be afraid of magic in the canon because it can and has killed people, controlled people, and hurt people. Queer people can’t do any of that with their queerness. Our queerness is fundamentally harmless, whereas magic is not. Also, as sterlingdylan discussed last night, if we take it as an allegory it sets up a concerning narrative about “closeted” Merlin being good, and “out” other characters being bad. Which is injecting a really extreme and problematic moral into the show, and not something we as an audience should be placing on the shoulders of the writers.

I don’t think we need to take BBC Merlin as an allegory for anything, It is enough to discuss parallels to our lives, and examine how the bigotry functions in the context of the show itself. But If we are going to be comparing it as directly as possible to something in our daily lives, then it would probably be more accurate as a narrative about extremism and essentialism. It is still an imperfect comparison because usually extremism and essentialism are not founded on genuine concern, but stick with me. It gets long so the essay is going under the cut.

Uther experienced the death of his wife at the hands of magic. Now, we know that he and Ygraine asked Nimueh for help conceiving. Whether they fully knew the cost or if Nimueh downplayed it is neither here nor there. What is relevant is that Uther was given proof of magic’s ability to harm him and the people he loved. Now, someone who did not hold the black and white “The King is always right” attitude might have taken this instance and pushed for regulation of magic rather than a ban. However, as we witness in later episodes in which he locks up his own children for defying him, Uther can never admit he was wrong so rather than say it was a bad idea to use magic in the way he did, he convinced himself that it wasn’t him who made the mistake, but that magic itself was an inherently evil corrupting force, and started the purge. He took an extreme oppositional view towards magic.

On the flip side, much of the narrative of the magic half of this battle is also about extremism. They are, rightfully, infuriated by and afraid of Uther, but they also let their anger at Uther shade their perception of Arthur. Morgana, starting in season one, was already set against Uther, but was not yet set against Arthur. However, when she met Morgause her train of thought went from justice, to revenge against Uther, to a desire for power, and finally a deep desire to see Arthur dead. Perhaps in some way Morgause really does care about creating a just world for magic users, but she clearly also has a desire for power (as seem when she encourages Morgana to stage a coup and take the throne for herself instead of try to teach Arthur, when he’s demonstrated before a willingness not to lock step with Uther) which are two things that aren’t compatible.

Morgause encourages Morgana to see the worst in the people around her, and encourages her to give into acts of extreme violence against people who don’t necessarily deserve it (ie all the peasants she was prepared to starve when they disagreed with her when she took the throne at the end of season three. A move remarkably similar to something Uther would have done). Morgana no longer stops to consider the times that Arthur stood against Uther, and comes to view Arthur not as someone who can be shown the bigger picture, but as someone inherently against magic rather than the violence it can do. This cycle does not stop with Morgana either, it also reaches Kara who refuses to see the good in Arthur even though he has shown his willingness to make peace with members of the Old Religion (druids), and was prepared to let her get away with attempted murder simply because Mordred and Merlin asked him to show her mercy.

Kara and Morgana both have come to view Arthur as inherently violent and set against magic the same way Uther came to see magic as inherently violent and set against Camelot. Neither of which are accurate views on the situation.

Arthur is the one who was prophesied to break this cycle of extremism and essentialism, and we can see him attempt to try. There are multiple occasions in which he considers that magic may not be evil. Off the top of my head there is the scene after Morgause reveals the true circumstance of his birth, the scene in which he allows Dragoon to attempt to heal Uther, and the scene where he asks Merlin if he should legalize magic in order to save Mordred. In all of these cases someone (usually Merlin) prevents him from exploring that thought deeper. Even so, he does make great strides towards taking up the proper nuanced view needed for this situation. He takes Camelot from a kingdom that relentlessly hunts down and persecutes magic, to a kingdom of fair trials and peace with druids.

Sadly, no one can meet him in the middle. Morgause and Morgana’s insistence on trying to take him down and harm the people closest to him prevents Arthur from learning the good aspects of magic just as much as Uther’s propaganda did. Merlin is the only sorcerer in the entire show not to be set against Arthur, and therefore the only one who could show Arthur how to break this cycle, but doing so presents no small risk to his own and Arthur’s safety. If Arthur took it badly and either banished or executed him, it would effectively prevent Merlin from protecting him. This leaves Arthur trying to draw his own conclusions, and he never gets the additional information that magic can, and is, used for beauty and healing. He can only operate on what he has seen, and what he has seen is magic being used against himself and Camelot repeatedly.

Arthur can’t be held responsible for not incorporating information he isn’t given into his view on magic, and Merlin can’t be held responsible for not risking himself to teach Arthur. We can, however, hold the people around them responsible for creating an environment that prevents Arthur from learning on his own, and prevents Merlin from teaching him. The fault lies primarily with Uther for kicking this whole chain of events off in the first place, and in Morgause who co-opted a genuine struggle in order to gain power. Morgana is also responsible for letting her view of Arthur (someone she has seen stand for justice) be corrupted. In the end the fault lies neither with Arthur, nor with Merlin. The fault lies in the very human tendency to view the world in black and white, and react with violence against those deemed dangerous (despite how much that title is or is not earned).

[keiyoomi]

restless | s. kiyoomi × reader

summary: for the first time, sakusa kiyoomi reacted on issues pointed to him. the thing is, he doesn’t understand why he’s reacting to this.

details: 1k+ words, comfort fic, slight angst, fluff?

HEADS UP: contains content which involves framing up a person, using a person for clout, you know, shit like that. if you’re not a big fan of that, this one’s not for you.

note: first of all, i miss writing. second, i miss sakusa.

For the seventh time during that night, Sakusa Kiyoomi lets out a sigh. He places down the newspaper he was holding before taking off his reading glasses. He knew you’d react violently if you see him reading the news articles about him—after he defends himself from those who doesn’t respect his personal space.

He tried to sleep next to you, but he couldn’t take that scene that occurred yesterday. So, he decided to step out of the bedroom instead of tossing and turning and disturb your peaceful sleep.

Kiyoomi rests his head on the backrest of the couch with his arm on his forehead. While staring blankly at the ceiling, he recalls what occurred before that incident with that unruly MSBY ‘fan.’

Their team’s fans knew about the rules he had set beforehand. Hell, even the fans of their opponent knew about it. But despite all that, that “fan” still chose to “test the waters” while knowing that they’re surrounded with numerous press people.

That “fan” suddenly held his wrist while waiting for him to react. He was taking off their hand from his wrist when they suddenly cry, gaining the attention of everyone in that hallway.

There were paparazzi who were waiting for that moment patiently. Waiting for him to show the world his “ugly” side—the side that’s rude, snob, and conceited.

The “fan” gains the press’ sympathies, while he receives the backlash. Numerous anti-fans have decided to post their worst opinions about them online. Some of his fans—the newbies—easily believed what the antis were saying; there were even long-time fans who were sharing their own experiences after interacting with him.

You’ve told him not to check any of his social media accounts, even the television, but Kiyoomi is stubborn as fuck.

Tears pooled his eyes and clouded his vision after reading some of the negative comments. People believes he was insensitive—somewhat acting like a robot—but none of them knew him as a person.

Sakusa Kiyoomi is one of the most polite person you’ve ever encountered. He knows how to read the room and how to address several issues that are quite sensitive to be discuss. He look for numerous ways to speak what’s on his mind to make sure that none of the involved parties would be offended by his statement. (Although most of the time he ends up pointing out their wrongs, making him look like the main antagonist of the two parties.)

He wasn’t a big fan of skinship, but he doesn’t mind receiving headpats, or cuddles, or even a warm and tight hug.

Kiyoomi may respond to Atsumu’s blaberring with thick sarcasm—much to the latter’s annoyance—but he cares a lot about them. Especially when Atsumu kept on practicing even if he’s not feeling well. (No, he won’t be like Kita who’d give him something to eat in order to improve his health. Instead, he’ll use his sharp tongue to poke Atsumu’s ego and pride as a setter to force him to nurse himself back to health.)

He closes his eyes as he sniffles.

He doesn’t care about other people’s opinions about him before, so why is he acting like this right now? This wasn’t even the first time he received hurtful comments from the anti-fans, but why is it that he feels awful during and after reading all those things?

He didn’t join this team to be popular, he joined the team because he wants to pursue volleyball. . . because he enjoys playing volleyball with everyone in the team.

So why?

“Omi,” you called with a sigh. You approached him and took the day-old newspaper from him and even his phone. “I’ve told you not to look at any of those things,” you said softly before sitting on the empty space next to him.

He sat straight before looking into your eyes with his bloodshot eyes. “I can’t understand it. . .” Omi’s voice broke. “. . . Why am I hurting right now? Why am I feeling this way?” he asked. “So. . . Why?”

You sigh before spreading your arms open. Kiyoomi sobs before nuzzling his face against your chest. “Probably, because this is the first time that someone deliberately made you look like a villain in front everyone else.”

You gently massaged his head with the pads of your fingers, hoping that it would somehow relieve his sadness, frustration, and maybe stress? “You see, the previous incidents wherein some paparrazi or press people had depicted you in the bad light. But those instances were immediately forgotten by the public, because the people knew that you’re not a big fan of crowds or being followed.”

“And this time?” he asked while looking at you.

“This time, someone’s using you and your name to gain everyone’s attention. To be famous. To that person, it really doesn’t matter whether it’ll ruin you and your career.” Then, you sigh. “And to make everything worse than it already is, those people who are waiting to see you fall grabbed this opportunity to pull you down.”

“Listen to me, love.” You cup his cheeks and dried the tears on his cheeks with your thumb. “We both know that not everyone would cheer for you. There are people who would try to make you believe that what they’re the ones telling the truth. That’s inevitable.”

Then, you smile at him. “But none of them matters as long as you acknowledge the fact that none of them knowd who you are. . . who you really are as a person.”

He sniffles before wrapping his arms around you. “I love you,” he says after calling your name.

“And I love you too. . .” you responded before humming softly, lulling Sakusa Kiyoomi to sleep.

THE FOLLOWING MORNING, you woke up with the non-stop buzzing of Sakusa’s phone. You stirred in your sleep (with back aching as fuck) before reaching out for his phone. Kiyoomi’s still resting his head on your chest (and it’s quite amazing how still remains asleep.)

The text messages came from almost everyone in their team. The most recent message came from his cousin, Motoya, instructing him to check his social media.

When you did, you’ve seen several hashtags that are related to Kiyoomi’s issue were trending. Including the hashtag “#[“fan” name]IsOver”

You smiled with satisfaction. You returned the phone on the top of the table before going back to the dreamland with Kiyoomi.

[astarlightmonbebe]

the devil judge ep. 4: thoughts

i know i already wrote like five paragraphs of thoughts yesterday. well it turns out i had some more, though this post mostly focuses on what we learned in episode four, as well as other questions, and some analysis.

yohan and the fire.

the number one question we’re (the viewers) left with at the end of the episode is how much of the story yohan tells gaon is true. considering what we know, i would say most of it is, but likely there are some crucial parts are different. now, this isn’t only based on yohan’s cryptic, ‘i knew it, people like stories like this.’ 

here’s what we know about the fire, and about yohan:

1) in episode one, at the ending when yohan looks at gaon, he sees a fire, and remembers seeing his brother looking at him. he also remembers touching his brother’s face, with what looks like a teddy bear in his hand - which i’m pretty sure we see elijah holding in the episode four fire. since this is introduced first, in episode one, and is obviously a true flashback, i am assuming that this actually happened. however, in yohan’s events, we don’t actually see this scene. of course, it might just have been omitted between yohan crying and then him leaving the church, but it’s certainly interesting, especially because parts we see in flashback usually make an appearance when the full memory is revealed. also note that the scene of his brother looking at him happened after the fire was actually put out, in the blue lighting, when he should have already been dead - of course, it could have just been what yohan saw when he looked at gaon, or it could have actually happened. 

2) the firefighter. in episode two, i think, we see yohan looking at homeless people and checking their wrists. his motive is confirmed in episode four, when he finally finds the firefighter who stole isaac’s watch. however, the firefighter is terrified enough of yohan that he has a panic attack of sorts when he sees him and then flees, eventually accumulating in his suicide. now, this reaction seems out of proportion compared to what we saw in yohan’s flashback. yes, the firefighter is guilty of stealing from a dead person, but there’s really no reason for him to be that scared of yohan. he could have just given the watch back and run away, but he fled as if terrified for his life instead. this insinuates that the firefighter had a negative experience with yohan during the church fire. also i’m 99% sure that the watch yohan takes back is the same one he gave to gaon which is interesting for many reasons.

3) elijah herself seems to hate yohan. now, this could be because she hates him for leaving her parents there and rescuing her instead of trying to save them, but apparently she wants him dead, which is a little concerning, especially since they are uncle and niece and live together. her reaction is strange towards someone who supposedly saved her life, and it doesn’t just seem to be because she wishes she hadn’t survived, etc. 

4) yohan’s line at the end itself. this line clearly indicates that he told his story for the purpose of manipulating gaon. if the story itself is more sinister, it makes sense for him to share a version that would make gaon clearly empathize with him.

my conclusion based on all of this is that the events likely happened in the order, but that yohan’s position in all of this might have differed a bit, and not been as heroic as initially described. yohan genuinely hates the people in power, believes in the cruelty of the world, and has a reason to. however, he also benefits immensely from making the events more sympathetic towards him, which makes it hard for us, as viewers, to completely trust him. all i can say is that i hope he’s not lying entirely, because if he lied with the purpose of manipulating gaon and steering him away from the actual truth, by telling a story he knew would make gaon feel strongly about due to his own trauma and backstory, then that’s just a disaster in the making.   

gaon as isaac’s lookalike.

this episode clearly established the story of kang isaac, who gaon shares a remarkable similarity to. there’s a possibility that he is isaac’s son, but that feels like it wouldn’t fit. gaon looks like he’s in his mid to late twenties. yohan is probably somewhere in his thirties, but it’s hard to tell with men that look like that lol. there’s at least a ten year age gap between them in my opinion. elijah is probably in her mid teens, given it has been ten years since the fire and she was a young child then. still, the ages don’t exactly match up, and there’s no scenario for how that could have occured, so why does he look exactly like isaac? 

there’s also the fact that no one else has noted his resemblance to isaac. i can understand why the other rich people didn’t, but jung sunah spoke directly to gaon about isaac, but didn’t seem to note any similarity. now, it has been ten years since his death, and i think if people aren’t looking for similarity they won’t see it, especially since glasses change a person’s face, but the jarring similarity should have at least turned some heads.

yohan is seen to give gaon isaac’s watch. this is symbolic for many reasons. one of them, like yohan said, is because he’s syncing gaon to yohan’s time, another way of demonstrating how yohan is introducing gaon into his world, bringing an outsider in. but the fact that he gave gaon a watch that belonged to his dead brother who looks exactly like gaon says something else. almost as if gaon is transforming into isaac, or something weird like that. it was just weird, period, and yohan obviously made it a deliberate choice. 

gaon and yohan in general.

i already talked about them quite a bit, and a lot of other people have as well, but this episode really served. first there was the white vs. black, especially when introducing gaon to the corrupt world of the rich. the white coat initially protects gaon in a way, but he takes it off when meeting with the actual rich people, as if his kind morality is not allowed there, further demonstrated by yohan bodily throwing him out of his chair when he tried to speak up. although jinjoo also went with yohan to a social event, gaon is invited to the intimate gathering of the top tier organizations, given a seat at the table, with yohan basically wanting him to see things as they are at the moment, making him aware of what yohan himself knows.

there was also the scene in the car, when yohan jerks the wheel. i think this scene was super interesting because it clearly demonstrates how yohan is just. not really that sane. which isn’t exactly what i mean, but i don’t know how else to describe it, because yohan isn’t exactly mentally unstable, though he certainly seems to be. instead, the yohan of today is just a mirror of the yohan who the priest described as the devil. he thrives off chaos. yes, his actions as a child were inventive and clever, but it also demonstrates how yohan can and will exploit other people for no other reason than enjoyment. the live court gives him the opportunity to do this to the whole world. he has a flair for dramatics, he’s the gamemaster, carefully orchestrating everything and enjoying the results for his benefit. not only is he making himself popular, but he’s turning himself into a godlike idol, which is honestly blasphemous considering the fact that he’s a judge, but it makes a lot of sense when you consider the fact that he’s been called the devil, the judge robes look like a priest’s robes instead, he has the symbol of the cross on his back (scar), etc...it all adds up, and the religious imagery is frankly insane. one wonders if he’ll end up a martyr, or cast into fiery pits. 

in cast interviews, or the clips that i’ve seen, gaon’s character has been referred to as an angel of sorts, a ray of hope. this is obviously in stark contrast to yohan, who is darkness, who is gray morality. gaon believes in the idea of justice taught in school, which i think makes sense when you consider the fact that his childhood was likely extremely unfair: living in poverty, parents killing themselves because of debt. he believes in lawful justice almost as if he has to, to have a chance to change things. he doesn’t understand what yohan is trying to make him understand: that lawful justice will never apply to the rich, that fairness doesn’t matter to million and billionaires, because they can change the law however they please the suit their benefits. it’s funny because that is what yohan is proving with the public, that the rich can be brought to justice. i’m really interested to see how their views will change when they get to know each other better and/or team up. there’s a lot of potential there (yes i’ve said this like five times. it’s all i think about right now.).

jung sunah.

i actually don’t have much more to say on that character, but as she’s revealed to be the actual head of the social responsibility foundation, we’re left wondering if mr. seo is just a figurehead, or if she just gained power by controlling him. idk if this makes sense - is she in charge charge of everything, or just in charge of mr. seo? i think next episode will more clearly demonstrate this.

the public, the ethics of live court shows, etc.

this episode was by far the most concerning one when it came to the live court show. whereas their first case was something that was clearly evil and neatly tied up, youngmin’s case was a brutal display of the power of the public and what it means when someone has the power to manipulate the public. youngmin definitely deserved to be punished. i think it’s actually super funny how his argument was that they didn’t have the right to judge him, when he did exactly that to everyone who suffered from his abuse. however, public flagellation seemed absurd. despite most people saying he deserved it, there was also the vibe that most people didn’t believe it would actually be shown. however, when it was, you could see that most of the public was deeply unsettled by this. yohan’s cult was also demonstrated in this scene, from the people cheering. 

was youngmin’s punishment justice? maybe, in a way. i don’t think there really was a punishment that would be right for him. flogging would scare him, but it also ignites his anger. in prison he might live a better life than most, but he would also be kept away from people he could hurt, which is kind of the purpose of prisons.

the flogging felt very dystopian, but i think it also showed the danger of the live court show perfectly. not only did it incite people and their bloodthirst at being offered a sort of justice, but it also showed how people feel when confronted with a decision they chose. over 95% of people chose for that punishment to be carried out, but few appeared to actually enjoy seeing it carried out. it’s a lot easier to click a button and feel as if you don’t matter in the large scheme of things than it is to see what happened as a result of you and many other people choosing to do something. it showed the power of the public, or more exactly, how yohan was able to manipulate the public into torturing cha kyunghee and ripping her family apart slowly. 

at the end of the day, i doubt few (of the viewers, at least, though i don’t really know) were actually satisfied or happy by youngmin’s punishment. it might have been satisfying to see his court breakdown, but when it comes down to it, it’s just more human suffering. 

it also begs the question of if yohan will ever be put on trial. could that even happen? it seems an almost inevitable conclusion to his trajectory right now - when you fight corruption with corruption, the only thing left when the corruption is gone is your corrupted self - but i think right now he’s also building the public as a way to protect himself, which has proved right so far. it’s interesting to wonder if the public will ever turn on him, and what will happen if public opinion shifts.

[the-sympathetic-villain]

New Labels

AO3

Pairings: QPR Lociet

Warnings: Light insecurity/Anxiety

Word count: 3,989

Description: Logan and Janus rescue a kitten on their first date :)

[Reposting this for better formatting on my writing masterpost]

gosh part of me wants to revisit this AU lol

-

    “Well…I guess I'll see you later.”

    “I would assume so. You do tend to frequent my place of employment rather consistently.”

    Ouch.

    Janus tried to hide his hurt as he smiled crookedly up at the cute barista that he'd only recently managed to work up the courage to ask out on a date. A crack of thunder rolled across the sky above them, and Janus watched as Logan pulled down the hood of his raincoat.

    Crappy weather for a date.

    Despite Logan's constant reassurances that he enjoyed the rain, Janus couldn’t help but feel that their date had been doomed from the start. He sighed and smiled. If he was being honest with himself, things could have gone worse. He knew he'd loved every minute of their afternoon together and he only hoped Logan felt the same. They’d had lunch at a quiet little bistro downtown that Logan had recommended and after they’d ran through the pouring rain down the block to one of Logan's favorite bookstores. A warm smile spread across Janus' at the fresh memory of following Logan through the aisles listening to him talk endlessly about all of his favorite authors. Logan could go on for hours and Janus was all too eager to listen.  The way his face lit up when he was excited was too pure and perfect. He was perfect. Logan had even inquired about Janus’ reading preferences and picked out some novels for him to read so they could discuss them later.

    Guess that doesn’t mean much though, if there's not going to be a second date.

    Janus swallowed sadly. The date really had been perfect.

    Why did I have to get invested?

    He'd been debating about asking for him for months. Janus knew his schedule at the coffee shop by heart at this point. They’d been taking for nearly a year and his best friend had talked him into at least asking him out.

    I'm going to kill Ro—

    “I have some concerns about your caffeine intake. Continued reliance on stimulants can affect your mood and sleep patterns.” Logan absentmindedly pulled his keys from his pocket and worked through the keys to find the right one. Janus felt his heart skip a beat as Logan tilted his head up to smirk at him. “Then again, if it weren't for your dependence on caffeine, I would see you much less and that would be truly disappointing."

    Janus stifled a squeak of surprise as flash of lightning illuminated Logan's porch. He played it cool, hoping the lightning had  distracted Logan from the almost certainly undignified face he'd made at Logan's words. With a devilish smile, he took a step closer to Logan as thunder rumbled around them. “I definitely would never put my heath at risk in order to see you more often.”

    This time it was Logan's turn to blush and Janus couldn't help the smile that quirked on his lips at the sight.

    Logan cleared his throat, and fumbled with his keys. Janus raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be stalling, even as he moved to leave. “Well, umm. Yes. I suppose we should part ways for the night.”

    Oh god. He wants me to kiss him.

    A slight shiver ran up Janus' spine at the thought and his smile faltered for a moment. It wasn’t that Logan was an unattractive person. Quite the opposite actually. Janus often caught himself staring at Logan whenever he wasn't careful. Janus swallowed nervously. Logan wasn’t the problem. Aesthetically, he was very attractive. Janus just didn't wasn't the type for romantic attraction, or sexual really, but he'd always been more repulsed by romantic gestures than anything.

    The hand-holding, sappy, over-the-top displays of affection that everyone in the world seemed to enjoy made his stomach turn. Kissing most of all confounded him. Why people seemed to enjoy trying to swallow each other’s tongues, he'd never know.

    But they do and I don't. I guess it’s better to rip off the band-aid now and tell him I'm aromantic. It's better to see if he can live with that before this goes too far.

    Janus swallowed nervously. Rejection was never easy, and he wasn't sure he could handle it coming from the barista who he'd seen nearly every day for the last year.

    God, I'm never going to be able to get a decent cup of coffee again.

    “Listen, Logan—” He started nervously.

    Mew.

    Janus stopped, seeing the confused expression on Logan's face. “Do you have a cat?”

    Logan shook his head, glancing around the porch. “I do not.”

    “It's pouring rain right now.” Janus glanced around at the puddles of water pooling in the shallow dips in Logan's yard.

    Mewww.

    The cat's call was longer this time and was almost shrill with fear.

    “Perhaps, we should locate this cat. It appears to be distressed and combination of rain and wind could pose potential danger for a small animal.” Janus could see the worry growing in Logan’s eyes, and he nodded, following behind Logan as he stepped off the porch to follow the noise.

    Mewwww.

    The calls were getting louder and more insistent as they approached the far side of the deck and peered through the cross hatch underneath.

    Mewwww.

    Janus eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness under the deck and he could just make out a small, black kitten cowering in the shadows.

    “It's young,” Logan looked over at Janus with a serious expression. “Barely old enough to be weaned. It must have squeezed through the gaps in the wood and gotten stuck.”

   Janus nodded. “Well, since I'm definitely slender enough to slip through that gap, do you have a drill?”

    Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to take it apart?”

    “What?” Janus smiled teasingly at him. “I don’t seem trustworthy?”

    His coyness seemed to fall on deaf ears as nervous settled across Logan’s face. “Are you licensed?”

    “No, but I know what I'm doing, and if we waste time trying to find someone with the proper qualifications, that kitten is going to be iintrouble.” Logan still looked wary, but Janus was quick to reassure him. “Trust me. I've done this several times before. It's just a couple of screws holding it in place. It'll pop right back on when I'm done.”

    Logan nodded and Janus blushed at the subtle smile that appeared on his face. “Okay, I'll be right back.”

    Logan stood up and went inside, leaving Janus squatting in the drizzling rain as he looked down at the little kitten shivering near one of the supporting posts.

    “Hey there, little one.” He made a clicking noise with his tongue, trying to coax it closer. “It’s a little cold out here, huh?”

    Mew.

    “I know. We're going to get you out of there and find some place warm for yiu to stay. Okay?”

    Mew.

    Too his surprise, the kitten stood up, approaching him cautiously. Janus reached out a hand rubbing his fingers together and clicking. “Come on, buddy. Make this easier on us and just come out of there.”

    Mew.

    “How about you do me a solid and help me impress this cute boy I'm on a date with?”

    Mew.

    The kitten stopped just behind the crisscrossing wood and sat on the ground. Janus sighed and smiled. “Just like a cat to make things difficult.”

    Mew.

    “No? Nature itself would like me to fail?” Janus rolled his eyes. “That hardly what I ever would have expected."

    Janus reached his fingers through the wood, but stopped as the kitten backed away cautiously. He waited patiently as the kitten relaxed. Janus could feel the rain dripping down his face as the cat sniffed his hand. Janus smiled as the whiskers tickled his hand. The cat rubbed its face on Janus' hand and allowed him to reach up to scratch it's chin. “See? I’m not a bad guy, right?”

    Meewwww.

    The cat whined as Janus pulled his hand out from the gap. “Well, come out then if you want more.”

    Mew.

    The kitten trailed behind his fingers and reluctantly pushed it head through the door. Janus picked it up, cuddling it close in his arms. The little, cat purred happily in his hands as he scratched his chin. He slowly stood up, just as Logan came around the corner, with a drill in one hand and a towel in the other. His shoulders dropped in surprise as he noticed the purring kitten in Janus' arms.

    A subtle smirk appeared on Logan's face as the worry disappeared “I see you didn't actually require my assistance at all.”

    Janus' heart fluttered with pride at the smile on Logan’s lips, but he forced himself to play it off nonchalantly. “I only needed a moment alone to work my magic powers.”

    Logan smirked back at him. “Well, I will admit I am impressed.”

    “Yes,  it’s definitely that, and not at all the fact that you’re relieved that I don't have to take your deck apart.” Janus smiled smugly.

    “I won’t deny that is preferential to the alternative, but I am impressed you seem to have all the have all the beauty and power of a Disney princess.” Logan narrowed his eyes playfully at him.

    Great. At least I know Roman would approve.

    Janus rolled his eyes. “Are we going inside then?”

    Logan hesitated, suddenly nervous again. When he finally spoke, hos voice was friendly, but cautious. “I must admit I don't usually allow the men I date into my home on the first date."

    “Yes, because I often plan to rescue a scared kitten in order to gain access to my date’s homes.” Janus immediately regretted his sarcasm as a look of discomfort crossed Logan’s face. “You know what? That wasn't fair, Logan. If you're uncomfortable, I’ll go. Do you want to take—"

    Logan’s face softened quickly and he held up a hand to stop him. “You’re not going anywhere, Janus.”

    Janus froze in confusion. “But you just said—”

    “I know,” Logan smiled sweetly at him. “but these are hardly normal circumstance. You are helping me, and you’re soaking wet for your efforts. I think I can bend the rules for you. After all, you're hardly a stranger at this point.”

    The corner of Janus' lips twitched into a smile and nodded as Logan led him around the front of his house. Stepping inside, he couldn't help but notice that the walls of the room were lined with unpacked boxes.

    “Did you just move in?”

    “Yesterday.” Logan slipped off his raincoat to reveal the dark blue button up and tie he'd come to expect with him.

    “It's a nice place.” Janus glanced around. His home was small, maybe two bedrooms, but it was nicely painted and the dark leather sofa and end tables in the room were definitely high quality. The cloud cover outside dampened the natural light in the room, but a small lamp in the corner illuminated the room in a warm light. “Do you live alone?”

    Logan raised an eyebrow at him.

    Janus flushed, holding the sleeping kitten close to his chest. “Sorry. I suppose I it would have been wise to start with a less serial-killer-type question.”

    Logan laughed and Janus couldn't help but grin stupidly at the smile on Logan’s face.

  “I think I can find it in myself to overlook your red flags.” Logan opened one of the boxes and began to unload it's contents in neat piles on the floor. “I had a previous house mate, but he recently moved in with his boyfriend and I moved here.”

    “That's rough. I suppose money's a bit tight then? I can't imagine you make enough as a barista to easily afford a place like this.”

    Logan lifted the empty box with him as he stood up, giving Janus a strange look. “You are aware I own the coffee shop I work in, correct?”

    “What?” Janus mouth dropped open as he nearly shouted in surprise. The kitten mewed irritably, and Janus dropped his voice. “Since when?”

    “Since it's inception.” Logan shrugged as he put the shallow box on the sofa. “The previous roommate I mentioned and I actually own a few of them throughout town.”

    Janus looked at him dumbfounded.  “Is that why you won't let me tip you?”

    Logan smiled at Janus’ shock and shrugged as he pulled a blanket off the back of the couch.  He tucked the blanket into the box to make a makeshift bed for the kitten in Janus' arms. “It’s not customary to tip the proprietor of an establishment.”

    “But you never said that was why.” Janus spat out. “You just played coy with me.”

    Logan smirked at him and laughed. “I was… I believe the correct phrase is, ‘being a tease.’”

    “Do you mean to tell me you've been flirting with me this entire time?”

    “Clearly.” He stated plainly, but Janus could see the subtle smile tugging at his lips. His smile grew as he reached his hands out. “Now, give her to me.”

    “Her?” Janus asked as he passed the kitten to Logan

    “I'm fairly certain judging by her size and physical traits but…” The cat chirped in protest of being lifted out of the warm towel and he lifted her up to examine her. “She is female. Although I suppose the pronouns are arbitrary, considering cats are not familiar with human social construct of gender—”

    “You’re trying to distract me from the fact that you flirted with me for a year, and as you can see, it's working flawlessly.” Janus crossed his arms and tried to look disappointed.

    Logan merely rolled his eyes and tucked the kitten under his arm as he reached into an open box to grab a small towel. He gently massaged the dampness off the purring kitten in his hand as he continued speaking. “I think that I enjoy having the figurative tables turned. Usually it is I who is considered the oblivious party.”

    “You mean to tell me I could have been dating you this whole time?” Janus put his hand on his forehead in dramatic, mock frustration. “Tragedy does strike at me yet again.”

    “You have been quite the conversation at the coffee shop. If I'm not mistaken,  there were even betting pools about when you were finally going to ask me out.” Janus blushed and Logan chuckled as the kitten started to climb his shirt. He carefully unhooked the kitten’s claws from his shirt and set her down in the box, and for a moment, they watched as the kitten began to knead the blankets, apparently enthralled by the soft material. Logan drew his eyes away and glanced up at him with a soft smile. “Personally, I'm glad you waited a while though. I prefer to know someone for some time before I consider them as a romantic partner.”

    Logan’s voice was carefree as he reached down to stroke the kitten, but Janus heart sank as he was reminded of the potential deal breaker hanging over his head. “Logan…”

    Logan's head shot back up at his serious tone.

    “Come sit.” He gestured for Logan to join him on the couch. Janus sat on one side of the box and Logan slowly dropped onto to other side. He hung his head and was quiet for a while, hesitant to break their easy chemistry.

    “Janus, if I have offended you in some way, I’m sorry—” Logan looked over at him with concern in his eyes.

    “You didn't offend me.” Janus hung his head, anxiety building in his chest. He watched kitten twirl around in the box between them and drop into the blanket, laying her head on her tail as she settled in comfortably.  “I just would prefer to have this discussion before either if us get too invested.”

    Logan stared at him for a while, but nodded and waited patiently as Janus gathered his thoughts.

    “Logan, I'm aromantic.” Janus looked up at him expecting disappointment, but was met with a confused expression.

    “Well, yes. You smell very pleasant. I don't know what that has to do—”

    “What?” Janus paused for a moment before the realization his him. “No. Not aromatic, Logan. Aromantic.”

    Logan paused. “I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with the term.”

    “Oh, right.” Janus hadn't considered that he may have to explain the concept. “Have you heard of the split attraction model?”

    Logan looked at him curiously. “No.”

    Janus smiled patiently at him. “It’s based on the idea that there are multiple types of attraction. Many people experience sexual and romantic attraction simultaneously  so they consider them to be the same thing, but there's a spectrum of people who experience attraction differently or not at all., and I'm one of those people.”

    Logan nodded contemplatively. “Okay.”

    “I'm still questioning some of my identity. I assume I'm demisexual, which means I only find people attractive with whom I've formed a significant attachment. To be honest though, I've never been in a situation where I've put that theory into practice so to speak,” Janus sighed and hung his head. “But I know I'm aromantic.”

    “Which means what exactly?” Logan inquired seriously, stroking the kitten between them.

    “I don't experience romantic attraction.” Janus watched Logan's neutral expression as he explained. “I’m not drawn to people, because I want to be romantic or lovey with them. I don't like holding hands or sappy romantic gestures. The idea of kissing is repulsive to me. I just don't enjoy being part of that kind of relationship, because that kind of affection makes me uncomfortable.”

    “So, you are just interested in the potential for sex?”

    “No,” Janus’ face scrunched in disgust. “I'm not looking for that at all.”

    “I’m sorry. I'm trying not to assume anything.” Logan paused and Janus could see the struggle to understand in Logan's face. “I'm just trying to figure out what your intentions for asking me out were, if they weren't due to some degree of attraction.”

    Janus looked up at him, desperation in his eyes. “I am attracted to you in my own way. I enjoyed spending time with you and talking today. I like listening to you laugh or listening to tall excitedly about books. My attraction for you is real. It's just not romantic.”

    Logan watched him carefully. “And you’re not just trying to tell me you just want to be friends?”

    “No.” Janus said tiredly. His anxiety gave way to exhaustion. “I am interested in a committed relationship with you. I just don't want the type of relationship you see in a rom-com. I want to spend time with you rescuing cats and drinking coffee.”

    Logan was quiet for a long time and Janus heart sank further and further with each passing second. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he felt his heart shattering.

     “So,” Logan spoke slowly. “You want to spend time with me. You want to be in a relationship, but you don't want to kiss me hold hands or be affectionate?”

     Janus couldn't bring himself to look up at Logan’s face. “I'd be affectionate. It just manifests differently. Something like the thought of listening to you talk excitedly about the stars is more appealing to me that the thought of kissing you.”

     Logan was silent, and Janus finally looked up at him. His hand had stopped moving on the kitten's back. Janus heart shattered at the downcast look on Logan’s face. He felt tears in his eyes.

    Damn it. Why'd I get invested?

    Rejection sucks.

   He choked back a sob, and stood to leave. “I'm sorry. This is stupid—”

    “Janus—”

    “I'm sorry I wasted your time.” Janus turned to go, but Logan caught his wrist.

    “Janus, stop.”

    “Logan, if you don't want this, it's fi—” Janus’ words failed him as he turned to see tears in Logan’s eyes.

    Logan looked down at where he held Janus' wrist before moving his gaze up to his eyes. “I’m sorry. I needed a moment to process what you were saying, I think… I think I may be aromantic too. I just lacked a word to define my feelings.”

    Janus froze for a moment, but as Logan dropped his wrist, Janus turned to kneel in front of Logan. “Shit, I didn’t see that coming. I'm sorry. Are you doing okay?”

    “I'm not the only one." Logan’s voice was breathless.

    Janus' lip curled into a smile. “You're not alone, Logan.”

    Logan sighed and he chuckled softly as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I'm sorry. I’m not usually prone to being this dramatic.”

    “You aren't being dramatic.”

    “Is that one of your blatant falsehoods that you hide under the guise of sarcasm?” Logan sniffed, but Janus could see a smile twitch on his lips.

    “No, I've never been so truthful about anything in my life.” Janus reached a hand out and rested it on Logan's forearm. “Society puts pressure on us to live a certain way. The release of knowing there are other options can be a lot to handle.”

    “I never even considered there may be alternatives.” Logan ran a hand through his hair and Janus couldn't resist smiling as Logan mussed his own hair. Seeing Logan let his guard down made his heart flutter. “I simply accepted that I would be slightly uncomfortable in my relationships.”

    “You don't have to do that,” Janus smiled up at the him nervously. “especially if I get a part in your journey.”

    “Janus?”

    “Yes, Logan?” Janus gently squeezed his wrist.

    “May I hug you?”

    “Yes. I’m certainly not dying for you to do just  that.”

    Janus stretched his arms out and a warm feeling flooded his chest as Logan pulled him close.

    “Thank you, Jan."

    Janus' heart fluttered at the nickname and he smiled. “For what?”

    “For giving me a word to explain what I've been feeling.”

    “I'm glad I could help you.” Janus pulled back as Logan released him. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Logan’s warm smile and the wet streaks of happy tears glistening on his face. “Can I assume you’re still interested in continuing to see me then?”

    “God, yes.” Logan's face flushed and he nervously backtracked. “I mean, if that would be favorable to you.”

    “God, yes please.” Janus laughed. His face was almost sore from how wide he was smiling as he wiped away the tears that were now falling freely down his face. Logan laughed and Janus would have sworn that sound to be the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

    Mew.

    Janus tore his eyes away from Logan to look down the tiny, black cat crawling to the edge of the box. Realizing she was close to edge, he reached out to stop her, but his reaction was a moment too slow. With a tumble, the kitten fell over the edge of the box and landed softly in Logan’s lap. Janus leaned back on his ankles, watching Logan smile as he stroked the kitten in his lap. She purred loudly, bumping her head insistently against Logan’s hands in demand for more attention.

    “What are you going to do with her?”

    Logan looked up at Janus with a sad smile. “She is well taken care of a shows indications of prior human socialization, so I expect I should attempt to find her owner.”

    Janus smirked, seeing the growing fondness in Logan's eyes as he looked down at the satisfied kitten. “And if you can't find her owner?”

    “I have always desired the companionship of a cat. They're exceptionally clever creatures, but I never had the opportunity because my previous housemate was allergic.” Logan looked up at Janus with a sparkle in his eye. “So, if attempts to find her owner are unsuccessful, you may have just given me the perfect house-warming gift.”

    “Good, because I want to give you everything.” Janus smiled happily and his heart felt light in his chest as he stared into Logan’s eyes.

[radramblog]

What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2. 

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

[littlemisssquiggles]

What do you think of the idea of Emerald/Oscar? They have some soft moments together.

Hello Sweet o/ Well this squiggle meister is definitely on-board with the Green Team/Emerald City pair as a FRIEND-ship with Emerald being yet another proxy big sister figure to “adopt” Oscar as their close companion whereas the little prince in turn could finally provide Emerald with the strong and devoted family type of bond that Emerald truly wants and failed to garner from the villain side especially with Cinder Fall who she saw as a “mother” or close guardian figure who saved her from her former life of poverty.

Another reason why I like the Emerald City duo is because I’d like to think that part of Oscar’s willingness to believe in Emerald and desire to look out for her stems from him and Oz essentially fulfilling Hazel’s role of continuing to watch over her in his absence.

After all, it wasn’t just Oscar to be saved from Monstra. Emerald was too. Hazel Rainart gave his life to ensure that both Oscar and Emerald were finally free of Salem and since Hazel is gone, Oscar probably sees it as his right to stand by Em in his place; especially since he also owes her for his salivation.

Plus, a second reason why I think the showrunners may be pushing the Emerald City bond is because, ultimately, Emerald will become the next Fall Maiden; replacing Cinder Fall. 

Think about it. Professor Ozpin was the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. Beacon Academy is the fortress secretly housing the Vault of the Fall Maiden which contains the Crown of Choice---the only relic that Salem couldn’t acquire on her own since the true path to claiming it still rests in Ozma’s memories. Memories that will soon be passed onto Oscar Pine who is Ozma’s current incarnate officially succeeding Professor Ozpin.

Even if Oscar gains the knowledge to locate the Relic of Choice; he and the heroes would still need the hand of the Fall Maiden to open the vault. And as it stands, the Fall Maiden powers still rest with Cinder Fall who Emerald Sustrai was a former affiliate of and whom she shares a bond with; whether Cinder dares to admit it or not.

You see where I’m going with this?

 Emerald becoming the Fall Maiden after Cinder has been a headcanon for her that I’ve been rooting for since the conclusion of V5. Based on how things are shaping up and what is required to move forward, I think Cinder’s final curtain call may be drawing near and what would actually be most fitting is if Emerald is the one to deal the killing blow to Cinder.

As a matter of fact, it would almost be symbolic if Emerald is the one of all characters to be the one to put a stop to Cinder---not only saving the others from her but also ironically saving Cinder from herself. Emerald killing Cinder would be an act of mercy from someone who genuinely loved Cinder and wanted nothing but the best for her. And why I love this idea is because it would be a fantastic parallel to the end of Cinder’s backstory in the Midnight episode.

In RWBY V8CH6, Cinder’s path and descent in her megalomaniac madness was forged the instant she killed Rhodes. Say what you will about him as a character; Rhodes cared deeply for Cinder…even up until the moment she cut him down with the very same weapon he gifted her. 

So with that in mind, imagine how fitting of an ending it would be if Cinder died the very same way she was ‘born’, essentially.

You can pretty much say that the person we know Cinder Fall to be was born when she killed her former mentor and the one person in her life that actually genuinely cared about her at the time. 

 So…imagine the poetic irony that would be for Cinder Fall to now die---killed by the hands of her own former apprentice and the one person in her life who genuinely cared about her at the time---Emerald Sustrai.

Imagine if…Emerald kills Cinder and Cinder gets a strange sense of déjà vu because not only did her surprised expression at being killed by Emerald reflect the one Rhodes made to her the night he died but through Emerald, Cinder sees her former young self---the side of her she discarded when she chose her path that night. 

Cinder began her path with the bloody end of a blade through the chest of someone close to her. So for Emerald to kill Cinder the same way---even better if it’s done with her very own weapon---then that would be…downright perfect as ending to Cinder’s arc.

Apologies to all the Cinder Fall fans reading this post. The CRWBY showrunners have had Cinder dance with death one too many times. I myself have honestly been curious about how Cinder’s story was going to end in the canon. While I still like my Red Queen headcanon for her, I would be okay with Cinder dying if Emerald was the one to kill her.

NOT Ruby. NOT Jaune. But Emerald. If there is one character who would be most fitting to be the one to put an end to Cinder Fall, it would be Emerald.

Killing Cinder, especially if it was done in protection and/or aid of the heroes, would be the final nail in Emerald’s own arc of “switching sides”.

As stated back between V6 and V8, Cinder was technically the one thing still tying Em to the side of evil as she once remarked that she was only on Salem’s side out of her loyalty to Cinder. Emerald already left Salem but Cinder still lives as an anchor to possibly tempt Em back to the side of evil. But if Em were to be the one to stop Cinder, then that cord would finally be cut thus cementing Emerald as being on the side of good---officially in respect to her story.

Emerald helping to save Oscar and return him to his allies on Monstra doesn’t make her a “good guy”. Emerald helping our heroes take down Ironwood, help Penny and save the refugees of Atlas and Mantle doesn’t even make her a “good guy” either.

But stopping Cinder Fall for good---to be the one to put her down and essentially save everyone from the monster she knew Cinder would ultimately become if not stopped--- that, to me, would be the move to officiate Emerald Sustrai as a “good guy”.

Even better if Cinder were to plant the tough choice right in Em’s face. Imagine if…Cinder puts Oscar’s life in danger and orders Em to be the one to kill Oscar for her; like the devoted pawn she always treats her as. Imagine if…Em is placed in a position where she is made to choose between her old loyalty to Cinder as a villain or her newfound loyalty to Oscar as a hero.

Just as how Cinder was Emerald’s anchor to the villains on Salem’s side, Oscar is technically now Emerald’s anchor to the heroes on Ozpin’s side. So if Cinder forces Em to kill Oscar but Em ends up killing Cinder instead to save Oscar for a second time----this would be it. This would be the deed that cements Emerald as formally giving up on Cinder and fighting for the side of good; at least in my humble opinion.

And the cherry on top would be that killing Cinder causes the Fall Maiden powers to go directly to Emerald and if Emerald becomes the Fall Maiden---the maiden tied to the vault and relic housed in the school that is tied to Professor Ozpin whose very successor is her closest ally on the hero team---I’d like to think this would be a perfect conclusion to Emerald’s “arc”. I think that could work epically.

This is why I’m rooting for Em to become the next Fall Maiden. This happening would definitely further cement the Emerald City dynamic since Oscar’s new “big sister” or rather “cousin” would be the maiden tied to “his” relic needed to open “his” vault hidden in “his” school.

(I think I’d rather refer to Emerald as Oscar’s adopted cousin since I low-key like the concept of Oscar taking Emerald back home with him to Mistral only for her to be adopted immediately by his family since Emerald was an orphan who grew up on the streets and never truly had a family of her own but ultimately finds one with the Pines who willingly take her in. It FITS; dagnabbit.)

My one gripe with Emerald City duo though is that I wished it had better build-up throughout the series run. I’d be lying if the fact that Emerald and Oscar barely had any interactions prior to V8 definitely hurts the believability of them suddenly being close now with Oscar willing to vouch for the good in Emerald…even though he literally just met her like yesterday according to the timeline.

I know it helps the meme of Emerald “only knowing Oscar for 24 hours and would be willing to kill anyone who dares to hurt him” but from a storytelling perspective, I really wish the development of this dynamic had been delivered better. I mean I’m happy that we finally got the payoff of Emerald and Oscar becoming friends and seeing Em joining the heroes thanks to her friendship with Oscar…but it’s like eating a delicious cheese burger without the cheese.

You get to see the beginning of it and the joyful payoff of the end but the middle part that was needed to make it fully work is non-existent and ends up hurting it in respect to consistency. 

While I understand that Emerald helped to save Oscar’s life---that’s not really enough to sell his sudden faith in her. At least for me. Can’t speak for everyone else. Since, like I said, we barely got any scenes of Oscar and Em interacting before she showed up to help get him out of Monstra.

The ONLY thing that’s canonically helping sell Emerald City to me is the fact that Hazel was shown to care for and look out for Emerald’s wellbeing in the past and since Oscar spent more time with Hazel; by extension; custody of Em was transferred to Oscar/Oz the minute Hazel died…especially since, he was technically the one forced to kill him when he sacrificed himself to stop Salem.

I guess I just personally would’ve liked to have seen these two interact more over the seasons, particularly for V8 while Oscar was imprisoned. 

Perhaps that chance will come now that Em is on the team working with ALPN. And it would probably work even better if Em becomes the Fall Maiden. But for now that’s mostly just speculation.

All in all, bottom line---as I’ll say again, this squiggle meister really likes Emerald City as another close friendship dynamic for Oscar and Em respectively and I’m looking forward to seeing how this dynamic develops over the next season. 

I’m curious to see how much more Em and Oscar can help each other as friends especially since Oscar still has own inner demons with the Merge to deal with emotionally and I’m especially curious to see how Em would react to reuniting with Mercury in Vacuo now that she’s joined the heroes---even better if she’s now the Fall Maiden after killing Cinder. 

That should be a fun development but we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, hope this lengthy response answers your question, Sweet XD

~ LittleMissSquiggles (2021)

[turquoise-skyyyy]

The Solution To Everything(Is Hair Dye)

Note: Human AU! First time posting writing on tumblr lmao, and I wanted to try a bit of a different writing style... so there’s that.

Just a little writing practice paired with Marellinh fluff n kinda angst ig :)

Word count: uhhh i went overboard

Blurb: Linh is lonely, with no one in the world left by her side, hurt, by all that she’s lost, and possibly has an ever-so-slight crush on her elusive blonde neighbor. Marella needs someone to dye her hair within the day, and Linh happens to have exactly what she needs, in more ways than one.

When Linh wakes late in the night, startled from her dozing state on the couch in her dimly lit living room to the sound of persistent knocking, she certainly doesn’t expect to find the blonde neighbor she’s been inconspicuously watching— she’s still trying to convince herself that casually watching the girl enter her house anytime she got the chance wasn’t stalking— for the past three weeks since she moved in next door to be on the other side. And when the panting girl in front of her sucks in a breath, Linh definitely doesn’t expect the words that spill from her lips—

“Can you dye my hair?”

Linh blinks with bewilderment, still trying to process that the girl is here, on her doorstep. Not to mention really, really pretty. Annoyingly so, to the point where Linh’s tired brain has to avert her eyes to focus on forcing her mouth to form words.

“What?”

The girl smiles apologetically, and suddenly Linh’s throat feels dry. The girl’s beauty is much more manageable from a distance, through subtle glances out of the corner of her eye across the hall.

“My roomates— screw them— dared me to dye my hair bright green by tomorrow. I lost a bet.” She looks away. “And you have green hair dye, so...”

Linh stares dumbly, trying to puzzle out how to respond to such a random, odd request. Though she moved into the apartment complex almost a month ago and her maybe sort of possible little crush lives just next door, her mind is still trying to register the fact that they have finally crossed paths. And the girl has come to her, no less.

“How do you know I have hair dye?” The hair dye is something she’s gotten to send to Tam. The silver in his hair is something he kept in long after she cut it off and cut off their parents. He still hangs on, and Linh wants to change that, even if they haven’t spoken in a year. She isn’t going to send it though, she knows. She always chickens out. Her brother’s silence for the past year isn’t easy to face. Still, she buys brightly-colored dyes frequently on the off chance that a lightning strike of confidence will hit her. It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s a comforting routine anyway.

The girl blushes, scratching the back of her neck bashfully and shifting from foot to foot. The movement draws Linh’s eyes to her shoes. They’re ratty sneakers, and upon closer inspection, it looks like there are messy, multi-colored words scribbled all over the sides. The weird shoes match the long, tacky rainbow socks that go up to her knees and the bright, tie-dye, too big sweater draped over her surprisingly small frame, with black leggings to top off the outfit underneath.

“Well, I saw you coming back in from the supermarket yesterday and there was a box of green hair dye poking out of the bags...” she trails off. “Oh my god. I sound like a stalker, don’t I? I swear I’m not.”

Linh can’t help the delirious, sleep-deprived giggle that escapes at the words. It’s ridiculous to her, that the girl she’s been following and observing as subtly as humanly possible because she’s just so pretty and Linh wants to know everything is the one worrying about being a creep.

The girl grins at her laughter, the question still burning in her eyes, which are an even brighter shade of blue than Linh realized up close.

She clicks her phone on, checking the time discreetly. It’s late, nearly midnight. The hair dye takes at least an hour, most likely more, to finish. She has an exam at nine the next day that she still hasn’t studied for and she hasn’t yet messaged Tam for her daily one-sided check-in that he never responds to, or even reads.

She looks back up at the girl with thin braids threaded through thick, golden locks, framing beautiful ice blue eyes set in a still blushing face, waiting for her at her doorstep with an open gaze and just maybe, an open mind.

Her stupid, fluttering heart makes a decision before her rational mind can catch up.

“Come on in.”

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

The girl, who introduces herself as Marella, asks her if she’s always so quiet.

Linh snorts, resisting the urge to point out that Marella is the one invading the house of a relative stranger in the middle of the night. Of course, there’s also the fact that she let her, and that isn’t even considering how flustered the blonde makes her. Especially in such close proximity, where she can smell the faint lavender wafting off her hair. Linh never would have pegged her for a lavender girl.

And when she leans closer to touch up the roots again, she realizes that Marella smells of something spicy. It’s good, comforting, like the home-cooked meals made with love that Linh only ever got to experience in other people’s houses because hers never truly felt like home, or the smell of wood when it was burned in a desperate attempt to keep the warmth in the winter because woolen hats and group hugs were never quite enough to warm everyone’s toes.

Linh has to remind herself to keep working her fingers through the hair.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Linh is thankful when the summer sun finally leaks away and is replaced by autumn wind. There’s something calming about the crisp air blowing through the hair that escapes from tightly-zipped thin hoodies and the leaves bleeding red and gold. She much prefers it to the heat of the summer, or the harshness of winter, the temperatures of which she can never quite escape from completely.

When she pulls open the doors to a nearby cafe and lets the smell of warmth and caffeine wash over her face, and falls into line to order, she isn’t expecting to be behind a girl with a mane of blonde hair that’s streaked through with bright green that hurt the eyes and small braids that sway when she shifts. And Linh’s weeks of watching from a distance pay off— and the hard-to-ignore green certainly helps— because she recognizes the girl immediately.

It’s Marella, sporting the new, significantly greener look that she gained by Linh’s own hands. Linh blushes at the reminder of the night weeks ago. She’s surprised to find that it was the first time she’s seen the girl since their unintentional night together. She’s been so occupied with settling in, getting organized, figuring out independence, and attempting to reach out to her absentee brother, that she hasn’t even noticed the girl’s absence. It seems her creeper skills have gotten rusty, which should make her happy but instead causes the barest amounts of disappointment to creep up. Even from afar, Marella is lively and brightens, or at least eases, the monotonous days that all seem to bleed into each other in one eternal, never-ending passage of pain.

“Hey!” Marella’s voice jolts Linh from her thoughts. “Nice to see you here!”

“H-Hi!” Linh stutters. She thinks the girl’s impossibly blue, intent gaze will always catch her off guard.

Her gaze shifts to the green in Marella’s hair, the harsh coloring softened by the sunlight streaming in through the windows of the cafe and bouncing off the bright strands.

“Your hair looks nice.”

Marella touches a hand to her neon green-streaked look and smirks. “All thanks to you.”

Linh’s cheeks warm at the praise. By the time they reach the orders taken down, Marella has somehow convinced Linh to sit and drink with her. She takes Linh’s wrist lightly and guides her to a table, an action that makes Linh’s face heat again. She looks down at the thin fingers encircling her arm to make sure she isn’t dreaming, and is elated to find that she isn’t.

And sitting in that booth, sipping their warm coffees and exchanging even warmer smiles, Linh’s romantic fantasies from afar suddenly seem a lot closer than she ever thought possible.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Linh isn’t sure exactly how she’s gone from watching her neighbor from a(very far) distance to being dragged into her unfamiliar apartment to be introduced to her roommates, but she can’t say she’s complaining.

As nerve-wracking as it is to be inside Marella’s house, she has to admit that the chance of pace from routine is something she would have been too scared to do herself. Had Marella not knocked on her door and practically shoved her out of her own with an evil grin on her face and into the girl’s shared one just minutes before, she might have stayed holed up in her own apartment forever, seldom leaving and only ever for basic necessities.

Patterns are nice, reliable, and most of all, consistent, something that Linh has never had before, and up until a year ago, had given up on attaining, but there’s something undeniably exciting about throwing caution to the wind and launching herself into a new situation.

However, there is the slight problem of said new situation happening to be making a good impression on her crush’s roommates, who are all staring down at her stoically in a solid line of four with their arms crossed and their gazes narrowed. It reminds Linh of the stereotypical movie tropes in which the overprotective dad interrogates the unnecessarily perfect Mary Sue’s new boyfriend when she brings him home for the first time, and she has to force herself not to laugh in the faces of the people glaring down at her. They’re all at least half a head taller than her, excluding the brunette girl, who has the most terrifying expression of them all on her face.

Three hours later, Linh is laughing tears of joy and drinking hot cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon with the scary roommates in their warmly lit, cozy living room, who’s first impression couldn’t have been more wrong.

The scary-looking brunette girl isn’t actually one of Marella’s roommates, instead living with the other brunette, her brother, at home with their parents. Her name is Biana, she has an attachment to the color purple that everyone else seems to make fun of her for, and an affinity for randomly throwing out the others’ clothes and replacing them with ones she deems good enough to be seen out with.

Her brother, who’s name is Fitzroy— everyone teases him about this— is better known as Fitz. He is smart, put-together, and as Marella refers to him, their group’s resident “tired dad”. He’s dating Dex, the nerdy but sarcastic actual roommate of Marella.

Then there is Sophie, who was in the kitchen when Linh first came in, and Keefe, the former being Dex’s cousin and Marella’s second roommate who is constantly done with everyone’s shenanigans; Marella claims that Fitz, the actually responsible one, can never be bothered to do anything about their spontaneous endeavors most of the time. The latter, on the other hand, is the most mischievous of the bunch who Linh also knows the least about. His smiles and grins are the most abundant, but also the most weighted. Linh suspects there is a lot more to him than she’ll ever be able to fully grasp.

Linh’s surprised with how well she fits in with these people. They seem so much lighter and freer than her, a girl still tainted and chained down by the past and the experiences that came with it. They welcome her with open arms, and hours later, when dusk falls and it’s time for her to leave, the wrap her up in a hug and make her swear she’ll come back .She sinks into the hug, thinking that after knowing their light, she can’t possibly stay away.

Linh will forever owe all this new warmth in her life to Marella, who is perhaps the warmest of them all.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Fluffy blankets are good. Warm, cozy, comfortable, the kind of little thing in life that makes most people feel fuzzy feelings of nostalgia as they think back to the times they wrapped themselves up in warm blankets on the days they were feeling overwhelmed by the world, when they sat in messily-built blanket forts with their best friends and told scary stories during the devil’s hour with only a flashlight illuminating their evil grins, or the fights with their siblings to get the bigger portion of the blanket when they were forced to share a bed.

Unless that person is Linh, in which case all chances of that were stripped away by a pressured childhood where no room felt safe when her parents were near, friends were disapproved of, and anything that could knock the Song family from the top was discarded before either of the children could protest.

But whether it’s a childhood like Linh’s, or one where everything went perfectly, the fact can generally be agreed on: fluffy blankets are a good, good thing.

But Linh doesn’t think she was ever aware just how perfect fluffy blankets can be until they came piled in the arms of a blonde girl with tiny braids and green threaded through her waves at the door.

“Movie night?” Marella asks, wiggling a laptop in her other hand. “I noticed that you don’t have a TV yet.”

Linh lets her in, eager to spend more time with just her and especially eager to share another night with just the two of them. The idea of being in a dimly lit room wrapped in blankets with their bodies pressed together and only the light of a screen illuminating their faces doesn’t hurt either.

They curl up together on the couch without a second thought, as if they’ve been doing so all their lives. Linh adores the way Marella’s head fits in the crook of her neck like the last missing piece of a puzzle, and holds her breath as the blonde reaches across her and presses play on Netflix once they’ve settled.

When the girl falls asleep on Linh’s shoulder an hour later, she cuddles closer to the warmth of the fluffy blanket and her— crush, or love, maybe, she doesn’t know— pressing to her side.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

As nice of a distraction as Marella and her strange roommates can be in the months that pass, Linh has to come crashing back down to reality at some point. And crash she does, when the banging on her door at nine o’clock at night opens to the face she knows as well as her own.

Her brother, approaching her for the first time in years, bringing nothing but news of their father’s death.

Linh knows she should be feeling something. That she should be falling to her knees and sobbing dramatically, like a protagonist in a drama novel, or maybe grabbing his hands and begging him to tell her that it isn’t true. Instead, when Tam bears the news, all she can do is match his emotionless expression. After all, what is there to feel?

And why is she in such desperate need of comfort when, truth be told, she feels no suffering?

She can’t explain her mind’s twisted way of thinking, but she does know that it’s what leads her next door, and what pushes her to throw her arms around Marella’s neck when she comes to the door decked in pajamas and those long, irritating rainbow-striped socks that she loves so much.

Linh likes to believe that it’s her petty grudge against the annoying socks that makes her cry on Marella’s shoulder that night, but hiding from the truth isn’t as easy as she likes to believe.

And when Marella wraps her in a fuzzy blanket that rains tufts of fine fluff on their heads and pulls her in close, Linh has a hard time believing fluffy blankets aren’t the answer to all the world’s problems.

Confidence has finally come to her, and she’s able to give Tam a box of hair dye before he leaves. She doesn’t know if he’ll use it, or when she’ll see him again, but the smallest spark of light in his eyes when he takes the dye and turns it over in his hand is enough hope for her.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- 

When Marella appears at her door in the middle of the night this time, weeks since Linh’s father died and they last saw each other, Linh is surprised that she isn’t surprised. After all, surely there’s something seriously wrong if the only thing she says when someone comes knocking at her door at exactly three minutes past midnight is, “Did you bring the hair dye?”

She pulls the blonde inside softly, takes the fuzzy blanket still draped on her couch from their movie night, and wraps it around the girl’s shivering frame. Marella starts to sob on her shoulder. Her fingers wrap around Linh’s neck and latch onto her, bringing them both down to the carpet when her knees give. Linh immediately wraps an arm around her and holds her close.

Linh doesn’t know what’s wrong, but she does know that Marella is leaning on her for support, and she does know that she will always be here, for as long as the blonde might need.

When she finally stops crying and lets Linh reach gentle fingers to wipe her cheeks, and pulls out electric blue hair dye that brings a smile to both of their faces, Linh has a hard time believing that hair dye isn’t the cure for everyone’s sorrows.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Linh finds it funny that one can promise themselves one thing-- that they are going to try as hard as they can not to connect with others as a means of protecting themselves, for example-- but still end up breaking the promise if the right temptation crosses their path.

And her temptation? A certain blue-eyed blonde with now bright blue highlights who’s devious smirks and snarky words can snap Linh’s resolve in a second. She knows she should hate her for it, but surrounded by mischievous roommates with twinkling eyes and light smiles filled to the brim with warmth, she can’t help but snuggle closer to her weakness.

Her weakness, who is currently failing to dominate the board in a (not-so)friendly game of Christmas Monopoly. Marella informed her that it’s a holiday classic when she dragged her inside the house just an hour before, but judging by the rabid way the players are screaming at each other, Linh can’t say she agrees.

“What do you mean, the empire kind is the wrong kind?” Keefe screeches. “Duh, it’s easier!”

“For you, maybe! But it’s not the original!” Dex retorts.

Keefe jabs a finger at the board. “Then why are you still playing and why are you in second place?” He throws his hands up. “If you’re so mad about it, then stop playing and let the rest of us noncomplainers win.”

“Noncomplainers isn’t a word, Keefe,” Fitz says, idly shuffling the assortment of multi-colored money laid out in front of him. As banker, he’s the calmest and least angry of the bunch, though there’s something oddly menacing about the way he rearranges his money with careful, poised fingers.

Keefe, Dex, and Fitz are circled around the board, all nursing mugs of hot cocoa(which Linh has realized is a sort of trademark for them) in between bouts of shrieking, while Sophie left a little while ago to buy original Monopoly just in case Keefe and Dex destroy the board. Linh laughed when the exasperated blonde said it, but now she can see why it’s a legitimate concern.

Linh curls her cold feet in from her position on the long couch, and Marella automatically shifts the fluffy blanket they’re sharing to fully cover her toes again. Linh smiles up at her gratefully, and Marella offers a small smirk back. Then she goes right back to screaming. Linh debates calling Sophie and asking her to bring back ear plugs too.

“Whatever,” Biana scoffs. “You’re all sore losers.”

She is currently winning, as she has been for the entire game, and she glares down at the boys huddling around the game board from her perch in one of the armchairs.

And on it goes. At the end of the night, when Monopoly money is scattered on the floor and a smoking dinner that’s just a bit too salty is shared and hastily wrapped presents tied with glittery bows are exchanged(Marella is too impatient to wait for Christmas morning), Linh finds herself full of more love and joy than she thinks she ever has been in her entire life. There’s something oddly comforting about being with people who care for and accept her, even if it’s by default or association. Having someone who cares is a rare light in her life that most people take for granted.

Especially when there’s the smallest chance that the person who truly holds her heart returns her feelings.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- 

It’s the night before Christmas and Linh can’t sleep.

It’s the tossing and turning type of ‘can’t sleep’, the kind where Linh lies awake long after dark waiting for her mind and conscience to stop running around in circles around her head, the kind where her insecurities grow claws and fangs and sink them in skin-deep, where there is no light slipping through the cracks to keep them at bay.

And Linh hates that kind of ‘can’t sleep’.

It makes her antsy, on edge, and the urge to pace itches at her feet. The unfamiliar surface of the floor of Marella’s bedroom only makes matters worse, and as softly as she tries to twist under the thin covers, it doesn’t take long for the rustling on the floor to alert the blonde girl dozing off above her.

Marella slides to the floor sleepily before Linh can whisper a protest and lands next to her on the mattress with a grunt. Linh rolls over to face her, and is startled by how close their faces are. She can count the light freckles on Marella’s nose and cheeks when she’s this close. Moonlight is streaming into the room through the cracks in the shutters of the window, painting streaks of glowing white on the blonde’s face. She always looks beautiful, but Linh finds there’s something especially intimate about her in this moment. The air is suddenly buzzing with palpable tension, making her palms go slick with sweat and her mind hyper-aware of every movement. She can’t take her eyes off Marella.

Then, girl of Linh’s dreams breaks the stillness, leaning forward and pressing soft, sleepy lips to her own.

She’s asleep by the time she draws away, but Linh is shaking with adrenaline. It’s the moment she’s waited for so long she can hardly think of a time where she didn’t want the blonde.

And yet.

Linh’s the kind of girl with baggage, with the kind of ‘skeletons in the closet’ that people run away screaming from, not because it’s scary, but because it’s messy. Complicated. It bogs everyone who knows down, making every action in her presence laborious and painful with the knowledge of her past. Even her brother, who once promised to be by her side forever, wouldn’t stay.

She knows it’s irrational, but suddenly she can’t imagine how to face Marella.

She slips out of the apartment in the early hours of the morning so Marella’s blue gaze can’t stop her from running away. But despite her misgivings, the insecurities that still haven’t retracted their claws, and the voice in the back of her head whispering that she has to have imagined it, Linh can’t stop touching a finger to her lips, long after she’s left the buzzing moonlit atmosphere that allows slips of self control under the cover of night.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

It’s been weeks. Three weeks and five days, to be exact, and Linh still can’t figure out how to face her.

With every day that passes, she can feel the strong bonds they formed weakening. That’s one thing about relationships. They need an equal amount of effort. If Linh doesn’t put in enough, the object of her affection slips between her fingers before she can blink. That’s how she lost her brother, her friends, and any last semblance she might have had of “family”.

That is, until Marella.

She was persistent, even in the beginning, fighting to spend more and more time with a mildly resistant Linh, until she found it impossible to stay away. Her light is unlike any Linh has ever known, wild and fluid like an eternal flame that can’t be doused. That flame kept Linh alive for all these months, and yet here she is, ignoring it. Maybe even putting it through pain.

It takes a month, but it finally comes to her.

She realizes now that love isn’t something that affects only her, and that she isn’t the only one to win or lose in it. She isn’t the only person in love.

Love is two people, three people, ten people, a hundred people. Love is everyone who forces themselves into her life with the intent of staying no matter how dark it gets. Love is the flickers of light in the night and the bold streaks of sun in the morning. Love is the twinkling stars splattered across a purple painted sky.

Love is illumination. Love is clarity.  Love is a path paved special, with different twists and turns for everyone.

Love is...

Marella.

Love is Marella.

-ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ-

Weeks of radio silence after months of talking nonstop is hard to bounce back from, and they both know this well.

But Linh comes back anyway.  She comes knocking on Marella’s door exactly a month after they last talked, this time she being the one to approach at random in the middle of the night. When the door opens and she smiles apologetically, pressing a butterfly kiss to Marella’s forehead and pushing a big blanket and a bright, eye-melting color of hair dye into her arms in a silent apology, all Marella does is smile and pull her back in for a real, proper kiss.

Yeah, neon green and fluffy blankets are the solution to everything.

[tumbledfreckles]

Done

Jilytober Day 12: An Order Mission.  Didn’t post this to here yesterday as I wasn’t happy, but it’s more Lily and Sirius and they’re my favourites today so enjoy. 

AO3

Sirius slowly stretched his arms over his head, hearing as well as feeling cracks and pops from staying in one position for so long. He rolled his neck around and couldn’t surpress the low moan as his muscles protested the stretch.

“Shhhh,” Lily hissed beside him. He didn’t need to look to see her arms were still crossed over chest.

As they had been.

For eight hours.

“Chill, Evans. That was barely a sound.”

“They probably heard three streets over.”

“Hardly,” Sirius scoffed. “Just because your pissy at Prongs doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.”

“I’m not taking it out on you, I am angry at you,” Lily glared at Sirius before turning back to watch the building in front of them.

“What the fuck did I do?”

“You let him order you to bloody watch out for me,” Lily huffed. “As if I’m some bloody damsel in distress. As if I haven’t fought in as many battles as you both have. As if I haven’t saved your skin numerous times.”

“He wasn’t ordering me to look out for you, Evans.”

“He was. I saw him. I saw the look, and the head tilt. And I saw you nod back.”

“That’s not what that was.”

“Well, what was he doing then?”

Sirius sighed, “He wasn’t asking me to watch out for you. He was asking me to make sure you come home.”

“That’s the same bloody thing!” Lily’s whispered yell had all the same scary rage as her loud voice, Sirius couldn’t help thinking.

“And why is that a bad thing? Why is it so terrible that he wants to make sure you come home?” Sirius glared back at her now.

“Because he thinks I can’t look after myself! Like I shouldn’t be out here.”

“For Merlin’s sake. He doesn’t think that.”

“Then why the look?”

“Because he bloody loves you, you daft bint. He loves you so much and it drives him bloody crazy to be away from you.”

“He loves you too,” Lily frowned petulantly.

“And you get bet your arse that he gives Remus the same look when we’re sent off together that he gave me today.”

“Why doesn’t he look at me to save you then?”

Sirius smirked at the challenge in the tilt of her chin, “Priorities, Evans. There’s a pecking order and you’re at the top. Not because you can’t take care of yourself. But because your worth more than the rest of us combined.”

“Oh,” Lily was quiet for a few minutes. Her arms slowly relaxed, coming to rest in her lap. Her shoulders slumped forward, and her gaze went down.

“Alright, Evans?”

She smiled gently, “You sound like him when you ask me that.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Lily sighed, shaking her head. “I stormed out of that briefing, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Sirius confirmed.

“I didn’t say goodbye,” she said quietly.

“No, you didn’t.”

“He was being sent on a mission too, wasn’t he?” she asked fearfully.

“He was. Assigned right after you walked out. That’s why he couldn’t go after you,” Lily could see Sirius shrug his shoulders out of the corner of her eye as they both focused back on the building in front of them. It was nearing time.

“What if something happens to him and the last time we saw each other I was angry at him for caring too bloody much,” Lily half wailed.

“Be a pretty fitting reflection of your relationship, wouldn’t it? Ending how it began and all that, Ow! That hurt,” Sirius rubbed at his chest where Lily had taken a blind whack.

“Not funny, Black.”

“Oh, that’s low Evans, using the last name,” Sirius dodged another whack even as he continued to snicker. He paused for a second, staring closely at one of the windows as a shadow moved. “I wouldn’t worry about that being the last time you saw him, Evans.”

“Why’s that?” Lily asked distractedly as she too started to prepare to move, grasping her wand.

“Cause your boy got assigned to search that building after you left. And it looks like he’s got company,” Sirius moved to a crouch.

“What the fuck?” Lily whirled on Sirius even as she braced to run.

A light flashed in the window.

“Time to rescue your damsel, Evans, lets go,” Sirius pulled Lily on her elbow as they ducked around the bush they’d been hiding behind and sprinted across the street.

Lily barely had time to process that it was James currently holding his own against four dark robed attackers. She barely had time to think at all. Everything was instinct from the second she and Sirius burst through the door. She ducked, weaved, cast and conjured as she and Sirius took one each and worked to disarm and stun them.  

Sirius was still dueling when she put down her dark wizard, and she whirled toward where James was still battling two Death Eaters. Anyone else wouldn’t have held out this long, but James was making his defence work look easier.

That’s all it really was though, Lily realised after only a few seconds. He was defending, counter cursing and deflecting, but couldn’t find a long enough gap to mount any real attack with the way the wizards were standing. His back was to the wall, and he was running out of space.

Firing several spells at once, Lily took advantage of the few moments of incapacitation of one of the wizards, to add a round house kick to his chest. The movement took the wizard further from James, while allowing Lily to maneuver herself closer. Quickly deflecting two incoming hexes from the remaining wizard, Lily brought herself to stand double breasted with her boyfriend.

“Alright?” He asked breathlessly between spells.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she gasped.

“Couldn’t let you guys have all the fun,” he smirked, and then ducked quickly as a spell narrowly missed his ear.

‘Not my idea of fun,” Lily pushed off the wall as she moved around a series of hexes and fired several back. She could see Sirius gaining ground across the room.

“Still mad at me?” James started to use a series of spells Lily recognised and provided the necessary shield work to cover him.

“Not the time,” she hissed.

“Ah, come on, it’s the perfect time,” he argued.

“It’s not. Ready?”

“Always, Evans,” James’ suggestive tone had Lily rolling her eyes despite the circumstances.

“Now,” on her yell they both fired a repulsion charm, hitting the wizard simultaneously, knocking him directly into the other Death Eater as Sirius knocked him unconscious. As the dust settled, Lily looked over at James.

“Still mad at me?” he asked hopefully.

Lily stared at him for a long moment and as he looked into her eyes, James’ smile fell. Sirius let loose a low whistle and busied himself tying up the three wizards and sending a Patronus back to headquarters for transport.

“Lil,” he started to uncertainly, but was cut off by Lily closing the gap between them with three long striding steps. “Oph,” he huffed as she collided with him, her arms wrapping around his middle, her head burying in his chest. He looked at Sirius over the top of his head, who only rolled his eyes. His arms curled around Lily, one hand gripping her waist and one the nape of her neck as he held her to him.

“New rule,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of her head. “What’s that?”

“We never leave for a mission angry,” Lily turned her gaze up to him, a pleading look in her eyes.

“Done,” he promised, pressing his lips to hers.

[captainillogical]

Home Ch.1

The domesticity of living with an alien who hasn't quite had the chance at a normal life. 

Distant Lands sequel.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​ 

thanks for still reading my shit, love you all

You slam the fridge door, taking a swig out of the bottle of water in your hands that you had just grabbed from the top shelf. It’s hot as hell out this afternoon, and you’ve just finished grabbing the last of your stray belongings to move across town.

“-and you need to make sure to keep your phone on, I’ll be sending you calendar updates to your current schedule. Things have been moved around twice for next week, so expect your lesson times to change again.”

“I appreciate all this Pearl, but you’re acting like I’m moving farther than 5 miles and a single warp away.” You say to the gem lecturing you off a list she’s made on her phone.

“I just like to be sure.” Pearl narrows her eyes at you slightly. “I know you’re capable of handling things on your own, I just worry.”

“You fret like you’re my mom.” You retort with an eye roll, taking another sip of water. Garnet grins at that, leaning against the counter. It’s just the three of you here in the kitchen.

“Well, I have known you for quite a few of your formative years.” She huffs, cheeks tinting blue. “I remember when you first responded to that ad Greg put up, you walked in and-”

“Pearl, oh my god, please no.” You cut her off, capping your bottle, it crinkling slightly in your hands.

“I think she’s getting empty nest syndrome.” Garnet says with a small chuckle.

“Y/N, you are sure about this, right?” Pearl ignores Garnet’s comment. “I know that living on your own can be fairly difficult as is..”

“We talked about this extensively yesterday, Pearl.” You sigh, giving her a specific look. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been through hell already enough as is, this will be a walk in the park for me. Besides, I’ve got Spinel.”

“That’s kind of what I’m worried about.” She replies, levelling her gaze with yours.

You try not to sigh out loud at her again.

Okay, so. Really, it's been less than a week since you've solidly been back on Earth. You can't reasonably expect Pearl of all people to be one for quick adjustment. But you did spend a long time with her the day prior going over all her questions about the surface of Golgotha for an updated gem archive entry she's working on. You were kind of hoping it would calm most of her worries about this in general, but you feel like based on some of your responses it might've made her worry even more. Not to mention paired with that incident in the kitchen the other day with Amethyst..

Even if it was a little painful for you for multiple reasons; like having to re-live terrifying moments in detail - it wasn't as painful as the BARRAGE of questions she pummelled you with about the nature of your relationship with Spinel once she got you alone. Fucking mortifying, that was, when Pearl had the audacity to ask if you two had been like this prior to coming back to Earth. You tried keeping much of it to yourself as possible as you aren't super well-adjusted to everything yourself. Like jesus fucking christ, Amethyst and Garnet accepted your text message without much question, other than a thumbs up from her and a solid wall of emojis and expletives from the shorter gem. And maybe a couple roasts about it that you're not going to mention. But they had managed to accept it without embarrassing you much, why couldn't Pearl be less.. Pearl about it?

“What do you think is honestly going to happen?” You retort flatly.

“Well, I don’t have-” Pearl stops to spare a glance at Garnet, who barely even reacts.

“Future-vision is cheating.” She says, lips still forming a wry smile. “She will be fine as long as she remembers to make sure the oven is off.”

“You’re gonna make me paranoid..” You groan. “And see Pearl? I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so." She says like she's waiting to be proven right somehow. You know her enough to not be offended by it. "You didn't forget about your stuff in the bathroom, did you?"

"Nah, but it's not like I won't be back, y'know, in-case you maybe find my missing rubber ducky." You say, feeling your stomach rumble. "And while I do love you both, really, I've got to go get some food in me and finish the lesson plan for next week.."

"Fiiine, go! Clearly we're just here to nag you." Pearl says with a bit of a huff, slight pout on her face, but you can tell she's mainly doing it for the dramatics.

"Don't be like that." You hold back rolling your eyes at her, even if you really want to. You grab the bag with the rest of your things off the counter, shouldering it.

"Did you give me sitting in and watching your first class any more thought?" Garnet asks, resting her hands on her hips. You can't see her eyes, but you know if you could she'd be studying your face for an answer. "It might help with the nervousness you're feeling."

"Yeaaaaaaahhhh," You let out a breath a bit nervously, having given that exactly zero extra thought. "I'm still pretty sure that you'd just give me performance anxiety. Give me a few more days to think about it."

You say your goodbyes for now, toeing your shoes on and heading out the door down to the beach below.

Ugh. It's hot, and so is the sand.

You should think about finally replacing your old car. You know, the one that died last year that Peridot said was worth more in scrap metal? You miss that old junker. You'd have to save up a considerable amount of money you don't have, but, ugh, you'll think about this later.

The breeze makes your hair fly into your face, and you're annoyed the entire walk over to town. Your stomach growls again, and you decide on pizza for your afternoon lunch.

It's kind of a no-brainer when your feet lead you to Fish Stew Pizza, and your hand is already on the door handle and opening it when you subconsciously realize a small hangup, possibly, just as the door opens.

Kiki's inside and manning the counter, and she's the only one in the establishment at all currently. You let out a breath of relief.

"Weeeeeeelcome." She greets you without even looking up from her phone.

"Afternoon'." You say in greeting, feeling awkward preemptively. Kiki looks up immediately when she hears your voice, and her facial expression is completely surprised at yours at first before she quickly schools it to more of a casual, neutral one.

Ah. Lars came through.

You see.. after that first day back you utterly loathed the idea of explaining why you're now pink to literally everyone else, and Lars offered to send out a couple quick informative texts. What a fucking bro. You should probably help him out sometime just for the effort alone.

"Y/N, it's good to see you." Kiki says, trying not to be too obvious that she's giving you a glance-over.

"Thanks, you too." You hear coming out of your mouth, the air conditioning of this place cooling you off rapidly. God you even SOUND awkward. "It's pretty empty in here for the time of day, that's kind of odd."

"Yeahhh, but I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm covering Jenny's shift right now and I'll take the slowness if it means I can just be on my phone.." She's staring at the scar on your face, and you feel.. weirdly self conscious about it.

"Typical Jenny. You gotta stop going easy on her." You reply, leaning against the counter.

“Oh, I wasn’t going easy. She’s doing my chores this week because of this, so actually she’s the one getting the short stick out of this. I had nothing planned with my time off.” She sets her phone down, and oh my god, she will not stop staring.

“Will you just say what you’re thinking and get this over with?” You spit out, impatient. She reels back for literally only a split second before leaning forward eagerly and getting right into your space.

“Lars wasn’t fucking lying, huh. That place messed you UP.” She reaches over the counter to touch your hair, and if it were nearly anyone other than Kiki you’d punch them in the face. But she helped you deal with her sister back then, so. “I saw you maybe a week and a half ago, and now look at you! Pink like Lars and with a giant scar on your face to boot! What didn’t happen to you there?!”

“I er, didn’t get the face scar there, and it wasn’t the only one I gained.” You say with a grimace. Your stomach growls again. “How much exactly did he tell you?”

“What!? I mean he told me about you being kidnapped by a deranged gem and that you died, but that was about it!” She replies, expression bewildered.

You sigh. God. Okay. That’s not the worst thing he could’ve told people. But he’s not making this any easier for you anyway.

“Listen, can I order a small plain cheese pizza? And then I’ll enlighten you.”

“Yeah, you got it.” She grins, getting this spark in her eye while ringing you up and even giving you a hefty discount. It’s why she’s your favorite sister of the two.

You move to sit by the window table, setting your bag down on one of the other chairs and pulling out your lesson notes.

You don’t really feel super up to this right now, but you should probably go over a few things by yourself that Pearl gave you some pointers on. You’re nervous, like really nervous about teaching this class, if you’re honest with yourself. But you also think it will be fun, and interesting, even. You’re only giving two hour-long lessons a week for right now, as the others wanted to see how well you’d fair. Your first lesson is in just a few days. Also, the class currently has 43 gems signed up for it, and that’s quite a bit of a hefty crowd.

You were expecting an interest of maybe.. 4 gems total. This is a little unnerving. You only have the one flier posted up with the other new classes on that board, so you’re guessing word of mouth was how it spread.

You feel your phone buzz a couple times in your pocket, and you pull it out to see who it is. When you see who the messages are from, you can’t help but feel a smile break out on your face that you have a hard time suppressing. Oh, and whoops, you forgot to reply to her earlier messages while you were being lectured by Pearl.

[14:13] Spinel: uuuuugh i just want today to be OVER please

[14:13] Spinel: i think bismuth enjoys sending me to help peridot like some kind of sadist

[14:13] Spinel: its like she knows i dont want to hear about camp pining hearts for the third day in a row? i get peridot needs assistance but i haven’t even seen this show and now i have no need to ever physically watch it

[15:42] Spinel: you can’t ignore me in person Y/N

[15:42] Spinel: i haven’t seen you in two days and this is how you treat me?

[15:42] Spinel: like an afterthought?

[15:42] Spinel: hurtful

You roll your eyes to yourself, still grinning. You can feel affection coming through the words even if that isn’t what they’re saying. You’re also ecstatic at the concept of the others getting on with Spinel quickly enough to annoy her on purpose now. You miss her face, and feel a little silly about it, considering it hasn’t even been that long. It sucks, but at least she texts you fairly often. And as of today, well, you get to live with her.

[15:43] Y/N: Rest assured, I can ignore you in person.

[15:43] Y/N: Dramatic ass.

[15:43] Y/N: I’m going to be seeing you in like, an hour anyway. Chill.

“Why are you smiling like that?” You hear, jolting upright in your seat as Kiki sets down your personal pizza in front of you with a glass of water. It smells heavenly. “You never smile like that.”

“Uh,” You reply, caught off-guard, and set your phone down. “Was just replying to something funny Steven said.”

“Sure.” She says in a tone that screams ‘I don’t believe you whatsoever but okay’.

You reach out for a slice of pizza and take a bite, cheese almost dripping all over the lesson plans in front of you. Kiki moves the papers aside for safekeeping, and you mutter out a quick thanks.

“So,” She starts, resting her chin on her hand. “You gonna enlighten me, or what?”

You finish chewing your slice of pizza, and grab another. And then you indulge her questions. All of them.

She has a lot.

You leave out all the details of what happened between you and Spinel, you’re really not ready to have those kinds of conversations yet. Dealing with Steven giving you shit for it has been more than enough to want it from anyone else, and you haven’t even told Lars about it - even though you told him you would whenever you finally confessed to her.

Also.. uh. You won’t lie. Between the both of you being pretty fucking busy almost right off the bat, you haven’t exactly, er. Had the girlfriend conversation with Spinel yet. Other than that one night, people are always around you two. You know you gotta just talk to her about it to clarify, but shit, you’re stupidly anxious about it. Part of your brain is literally screaming at you about being stupid about it, because sure, you had the most nerve-wracking love confession of your life and you two boned and also she definitely said she felt the same way, but what if this is just real casual to her?

Oh my god, you over-think fucking everything. Get it together.

You think not seeing her for two days in-person might be driving you nuts, a little.

"Lars didn't really tell me anything about Spinel. He gave me the jist of it, but told me to ask you for everything else whenever you seemed okay with it." She lets out a long breath, and you watch her eyes focus on you. "Imagine what would've happened if you weren't there with him that day. Do you think she would've killed him?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Honestly? She definitely had the strength to, but it doesn't really matter to me now. She wouldn't harm a hair on anyone's head." You reply, trying to not mull over the Spinel you experienced when you first met.

"You seem to have full faith in her." She states, a small smile forming on her face. "You didn't treat any of the other gems that tried killing Steven with any kindness for at least a month. You're less forgiving than Pearl."

"I spent a month with her alone on a planet, Kiki. I had to learn how to work with her, and she saved my life." You retort.

"Yeah, only cause you put yourself in danger for her." She narrows her eyes at you. “And you’re moving in with her today?” Kiki asks, expression a bit suspicious, smile still on her face. This makes you uneasy.

“Yeah?” You reply, confused. “It’s not that weird, is it? I moved in with Steven fairly quickly.”

“Yeah, except that was a different type of situation, you were a guardian for him. And this is you we’re talking about here.” She levels you with a look. “I feel like I’m missing something you’re not telling me. Like a key part to all of this.”

“L-like what?” You shove another slice of pizza into your mouth to shut yourself up. Not fucking today, dammit. Not today.

“I dunno, there’s just something..” She trails off, her eyebrows drawn together on her forehead as if she’s got a thought within her grasp. She looks at your hand, grasping your phone, squinting her eyes. She then shakes her head. “Whatever, you’ll tell me eventually. It’s not as if you’re sleeping with her.”

You choke on the slice of pizza you’re currently chewing, and violently so.

Kiki’s eyes go wide, and you put a hand up as if you can stop whatever thoughts are racing through her head. Her jaw drops.

“Wait,” You manage to choke out, gasping for air and finding it very difficult. You can't tell if you can feel your face going red from the lack of air, or from this conversation.

“Y/N.” Is all she says, voice dripping incredulously. “Y/N!”

“Kiki, you have the wrong idea-”

“I cannot believe you.” She says, mouth still open. She’s got half a grin on her face like she’s just unearthed the most juicy gossip, and you are SO not here for this. "Wait until Jenny hears about this."

"Kiki!" You wail, and sputter out another cough. "Kiki you can't tell anyone!"

"Why not!?" She cackles. "And besides, I don't even know if she'd believe me anyway. Y/N of all people?!"

"Tell her, and I'll tell Sadie you had a crush on her for a year." You spit out in a panic.

"You wouldn't!" Kiki narrows her eyes at you, face of mock betrayal.

"I would. Watch me." You state, grabbing your phone off the table pointedly.

"Okay okay! Sheesh." She puts her hands up in surrender. "So you gonna tell me the dirty deets or what?"

"No, I don't kiss and tell." You scowl at her, but she doesn't seem put off by it at all.

"Knowing you, that doesn't surprise me." She grabs your glass of water, taking a sip of it. You're not even annoyed. "Guess you and Greg have something in common."

She laughs at her own joke, and you can't help putting your face in your hands and groaning loudly and dramatically. It only makes her laugh harder.

"Shut uuuup." You sigh, grabbing the glass of water from her and taking your own sip.

The two of you talk for awhile as she grills you about Spinel, and you share what you're comfortable with. Eventually, she gets a family of customers in that she has to attend to, and you busy yourself with what you had come here originally to do.

Time passes and you lose track a bit, until your phone vibrates on the table and shakes you out of your concentration.

It's a couple texts from Spinel.

[17:04] Spinel: it'll be a while until I'm free

[17:04] Spinel: there were some ISSUES apparently

You stare at your phone. You try not to be irritated at the situation.

It's not like you haven't seen her in a hot minute or anything. You weren't eager at all to be able to see her face or hear her voice. You sigh, and text her back.

[17:05] Y/N: It's fine.

You stare at your phone for a little bit, but she seems busy enough to not have the chance to respond quickly.

Fuck it, it's not like you have anything else to do. You're tired of the papers and notes in front of you. Might as well make your way over to little Homeworld and wait for Spinel to be free from Peridot's tiny demon hands.

You pack up, and make sure to say your goodbyes to Kiki, who yells at you to text her as you leave the shop.

It doesn’t take you that long to get to little homeworld, and thankfully you know where Peridot is usually working as of late.

You pass by the town center, and the glass in some of the taller buildings glare in the evening sun. There's quite a few gems around, working and building, many conversing with each other. There's a couple humans intermingled with them as well. The general atmosphere is pretty lovely here. You like it.

A Rose Quartz bumps into you on the sidewalk and your bag flies off your shoulder, spilling the contents onto the ground.

"Ah! I'm so sorry!" She spins around, arms out to make sure she didn't shove you off of the sidewalk as well. "I'm just so clumsy." She says, pushing her long pink hair over her shoulder and grabbing for your things on the ground before you can even think to scoop them up yourself.

"It's okay, I wasn't exactly paying attention either." You reply, grabbing the papers that flew out of your bag and onto the street. Thankfully, nothing's damaged. She hands you your stuff, and you place it back into your bag. "Thanks."

"It was mostly my fault anyway." She grins lazily, and you watch her eyes wander around the area of your face where you have that scar. "Hmm, I feel like I've seen your face around here before. You hang out with Steven?"

"You could say that." You smile back at her and shoulder your bag. She's got this way about her that makes you think she's analyzing you, but not out of judgement. "Why?"

"No reason! I'll see you around, cutie." She says with a sly grin and a wink, and you're standing there feeling completely taken aback. Your face heats up a little in embarrassment. That was.. okay. Whatever the hell that was.

You keep walking, mind wandering as you try to figure out what the hell that gem's deal was.

You manage to spot Bismuth near a building with more scaffolding than anything else, and she's huddled with Peridot, Lapis, a couple quartz, and Spinel. You won't lie to yourself when your heart does a little summersault in your chest when you spot her magenta twintails.

They're talking loudly and animatedly about something you can't manage to hear from this distance, and you don't bother to get any closer. You duck into the entryway of a nearby building less than a hundred feet in distance from them just to linger for a moment.

One of the Quartz says something, and they all erupt into laughter, and your eyes are trained on no one but Spinel. There’s something about watching her like this that makes your heart swell, and you feel a bit ridiculous over it. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you tear your eyes away to check it.

It's a message from Steven.

[17:37] Steven: can I ask you for a favor? It's not work related.

[17:37] Steven: Connie's parents invited me to dinner

[17:37] Steven: hELP

You stare at your phone, feeling your face break out into a grin. Someone tries to get into the shop you're standing in front of, so you side step to move out of the way momentarily.

[17:38] Y/N: Haha oh buddy.

You look up after sending the message just to make sure you're in no one's way, and you happen to see Spinel just as she's turning her head in your direction, aaaaaand she's spotted you.

Her face brightens up immediately.

She says something to the others, and most of them turn their faces to peer at you. Your face heats up, and one of them cracks some kind of joke that makes half the others howl in laughter as one of the Quartz slaps Spinel's back in jest.

What the fuck are they saying?!

She manages to disengage herself, waving a couple loud goodbyes as the others let her go. It sounds like they make another joke at her expense, they all laugh as she runs to catch up to where you're waiting for her.

She groans as she reaches you, bringing her gloved hand up to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun.

"What the hell did you say to them?!" Is what comes out of your mouth instead of a greeting. You glare at the others, and you can’t tell if they can see your expressions, but they sure are howling with laughter.

"Well hello to you too," She replies, cheekily scratching the back of her head. “And I didn't say a word! They just.. kinda figured it out?” She says sheepishly, cheeks coloring a bit. “Guess I talk about 'ya a lot, eheheh..”

Oh my god, ugh. You think you're going to have a heart attack, probably. She's looking at you like she’s holding back a lot of affection. Probably for your sake?

One of them catcalls at the two of you, and you hear another whistling. You feel your eye twitching, but the smile doesn't leave your face.

"No, really, what'd you tell them?"

"That you're my girlfriend, you idiot, because they basically knew that already." She retorts with a roll of her eyes. She grabs your hand, and you feel your face heat up even more. "Let's get 'outta here already."

Well. That answers all your insecurities.

You look forward to the next upcoming days.

[tsarisfanfiction]

That One Scene (#2)

So now I’m messing around with this thing a little more because @janetm74 got me talking about the idea last night, so here’s another scene that kinda follows on from yesterday’s post.  I promise it all makes sense, even if a few things seem to contradict the last scene!

Again, no editing has happened here because it’s just random things I may or may not string together into a single fic at some point

Alan gasped, trying to pull air into his lungs, as he lunged back towards the cargo bay.  Thunderbird One was locked on remote controls, John on the other end of the controls and in his ear, but right then that wasn’t important, didn’t even register.

Nothing registered since his fingers had tightened on the trigger for the grapple cable, the dangerous, dangerous grapple, shooting straight at his brother.  But Scott was in the cargo bay, fished out of the crowd of thugs by the sort of move that belonged in a video game and should never, ever, be used in real life (how many times had Scott told him the grapples weren’t a toy, that they were for catching objects not people, but there had been no other way out and John had told him to-)

Scott wasn’t moving, skin mottled and swollen and bleeding in places, and Alan scrambled the last few paces, falling to his hands and knees and reaching for his brother with trembling hands.  They stopped short.  This was his brother, his big brother who always stood up for him, protecting him even when he told him he didn’t need it anymore.  Scott was the strong one, the reliable, untouchable one.  Alan was old enough to know that wasn’t true, to know that Scott had weaknesses like the rest of them, but Scott was always careful never to let him see that.  Not the baby brother.

“Alan.”  John’s voice in his ear grounded him.  “Alan, you have to breathe.”  He shuddered, but inhaled deeply at his brother’s request.  And then again.  And another, with John reassuring in his ear.

The fourth was interrupted by a hand on his.  Warm, steady, everything Scott always was.

Alan blinked, and matching blue eyes smiled up at him.

“I told you to go,” Scott scolded.  “You should have left.”  Alan stared at him, uncomprehending.  He’d saved him and Scott was complaining?

“But-” he started.   But they were going to kill you.  But-

“You should have left,” Scott repeated, beginning to push himself up.  His arms were trembling and there was blood dripping onto the floor of the Thunderbird.  “But-” Alan saw him hesitate, a physical thing where he stopped trying to pull himself up and glanced away.  It lasted barely a second, but Alan saw it. “That was a good shot, Alan.”

Praise from Scott never failed to make Alan feel proud, even now, despite everything else that was going on. But he couldn’t quite muster a smile. Not this time.

Still, it was enough to get him moving again, bridging that invisible barrier around his brother to catch his arms as Scott continued to try and get up.  Even though he was putting on a brave face, Alan could tell he was in pain.

“Scott, no,” he said, trying to keep him still.  “You’re hurt.”

“We have to get out of here,” Scott protested.

“You need medical attention,” Alan retorted in return.

“It can wait.”  His brother struggled up again, and despite being uninjured Alan still couldn’t keep him down.  “Help me to the cockpit.”

Help me.  Those weren’t words he thought he’d ever hear Scott say, and it surprised him enough into obeying.  Scott needed a lot of help, staggering against him heavily and making noises of pain he couldn’t quite stifle, and the movement of the plane in flight – even if she was nowhere near top speed, and Alan figured that was what had Scott so worried – added another dimension of difficulty to their journey.

When they finally reached the cockpit, Alan moved to guide Scott to the pilot’s seat – Scott’s seat – but his brother resisted, tugging towards the co-pilot’s seat and slumping into it with a gasp and a groan.

“Scott?”  Alan hovered, eyes widening as his brother tugged the restraints down over his shoulders.

“We’ve got to get higher,” Scott said.  “Above the clouds, then punch it.  If they track us – if they catch us – we can’t stop them.”

That made sense, but… Alan looked at the empty pilot’s seat and then his brother, slumped in the co-pilot’s seat.

“Sit down, Alan.” Scott gave him a reassuring grin. “You’ve got control.”

Alan sat, almost on autopilot.  “Me?”

“You can do it,” his brother reminded him.  “Weather conditions are calm, it’ll be an easy flight.  Just like all the sims we’ve run.”

“I’ve plotted a course that will keep you hidden by clouds all the way to England,” John informed him over the comms.  “It’ll be fine, Alan.  You can do it.”

There was nothing short of confidence in John’s voice, and the reassuring smile on Scott’s face gave him what he needed to pull the shoulder restraints down and reach for the flight controls.

They weren’t like the sims, not really, but Scott had talked him through his Thunderbird’s controls many times and it was with those memories in his head that he pulled the Thunderbird up, gaining altitude slowly and steadily until the windows were surrounded by clouds.  Turbulence jarred the craft, and he heard Scott urge him up higher, to break through back into calmer air.

It wasn’t until he could see back out through the windows, still cruising at subsonic, that he glanced back over at Scott.  He didn’t look good – the bruises were starting to develop more intensely and blood was still trickling down his face – but he still gave Alan a grin.

It was weak.

“Nice job,” he said.  “Not bad for your first time at the helm.”

Despite himself, Alan managed a small, proud, grin in return.

“Now,” his brother continued.  “Punch it. Top speed, all the way to England. Follow John’s directions.”

Something felt off with that order, but Scott was looking at him expectantly.  Alan reached for the throttle, only to pause.

“Wait, John’s directions?” he asked, looking back at Scott.  “But-”

“You’ll be fine,” Scott reassured him.  “We’ve got to move, Alan.”

“Alan,” John said. Just his name, but Alan got the message.

“Okay, okay,” he sighed. “Going supersonic in three… two… one…” He pulled on the throttle, feeling the shudder as Thunderbird One’s wings folded and she hung in the sky for a split second before her main engines ignited, slamming them forwards.

His brothers had trained him to withstand G-forces.  It had been the very first thing, before he even got near the sims, let alone the machines themselves, but the full force of Thunderbird One’s acceleration was no easier to withstand than their launch from home, all those hours earlier.  The breath squeezed from his lungs and his chest heaved as he was slammed back into his seat.

Scott’s injuries sprung to mind, particularly the impact of the grapple, and he glanced over at his brother.

His eyes were closed.

“Scott?”

No answer.

“Scott?”  Still nothing, and if they weren’t going so fast – if he wasn’t pinned to his seat and solely in control of a jet hurtling through the sky at Mach 20 – he’d have reached out to him.  But he couldn’t.  “John, Scott’s not responding!”

It was obvious in hindsight. Scott giving him flight control, telling him to listen to John…  He’d known he wouldn’t hold up to the acceleration.  Alan cursed himself for listening to him and not checking him over.  He knew first aid, at least some.  Enough.

“Alan, the best thing you can do right now is get to England,” John told him.  He sounded calm, but Alan knew he was worried, too. John always worried.  “Lady Penelope’s expecting you.”

“But Scott-”

“I know, Alan,” John sighed. “I know.  You need to get to England.”

Alan swallowed. Piloting Thunderbird One while Scott was watching him, ready to jump in if he messed up, was one thing.  By himself, with no backup?

He didn’t want to. Not like this.  But John was right.

He didn’t have a choice.

“F.A.B.”

[fighterraven]

My Story with Fossil Fighters Frontier.

Ah March 20th 2015. I remember that day like it was yesterday. In case you forgot what was so special about that day, it was the release date of Fossil Fighters Frontier or at least the American release date. It had been in Japan for a year under the name Infinite Gear. Now in order to fully tell this story we need to rewind back to 2014 so Insert some timy wimmy transecsion here.

The year is 2014 and I'm starting to wonder "where the heck is Fossil Fighters 3?" Of course that's what I called it. I'm on a site called "Nintendo everything." And I see this "Fossil Fighters Infinite Gear." Naturally,  I freaked out "OMG THEY MADE A NEW FOSSIL FIGHTERS AND IT'S ONLY IN JAPAN!" I even had Facebook and Miiverse posts from back in the year freaked out about Infinite Gear. Now, I'm not a betting man, but if I was, I would bet 10,000 dollars that I knew about Infinite Gear before everyone outside of Japan did. I even knew about the final boss before the rest of the world too due to a Japanese video. Now once I saw this news, I immediately went to my friends and said "now you owe me because Fossil Fighters 3 exists now." I guess I was a dumb 15 year old who wanted Fossil Fighters by someone who wasn't me. I mean the original game was still one of my favorite games of all time after all, I just wanted a sequel after Champions disappointed me. (Champions was a letdown for me compared to the original.) 

Let's fast forward to e3 2014 and Let's skip everything that was announced on day 1 and go straight to a video I uploaded that very same day where I had a hissy fit over Ruby and Sapphire getting a remake but Fossil Fighters Infinite Gear isn't coming to the west. Now you have to understand that I was 15 at the time and I was very edgy, angsty and angry. (Who knew my 15 year old self would be how Nintendo fans would react to the Mini directs in 2020 and the direct in 2021?) I mean I had known about Infinite Gear for months at that point, I felt like my anger had been justified at that point (although I'm glad my YT channel never gained any fame because I would have been roasted by everyone. I probably would have deleted the video if I had in order to avoid complete embarrassment.) Anyways 2 days later and Infinite Gear was announced as Fossil Fighters Frontier. Before I get into the next section, can I just point out how much cooler a name Infinite Gear is over Frontier? They should have kept the Infinite Gear name outside of Japan.

Naturally I lost a bit of control over the announcement and posted my excitement over every social media I had at the time and Frontier was basically the only thing on my mind at the time. Heck, I even went crazy over the Fossil Fighters trophy that was in the 3DS version of Smash 4. Now did I go way crazier over then I ultimately should have? Absolutely and you're probably thinking: "is the trophy in 3DS Smash 4 really that important to this story?" And I'll say "Absolutely." To me, it felt like Nintendo was celebrating my hype with me, it felt like Nintendo read all of my Facebook and Miiverse posts and were hyping the game up with me. I even did only type runs and a no Sonar chip challenge runs in the original and Champions in the time Frontier was announced for E3 up until it's release, meaning I beat the original and Champions 5 times in one year.

So now let's fast-forward to the 2015 February direct. Where they announced Fossil Fighters Frontier's release date. March 20th 2015. MARCH 20th 2015 BABY LET'S GO FOSSIL FIGHTERS FRONTIER! FOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL FIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHTERRRRRRRRRRS! FRONTIER. I then make a bunch of posts on every social media I had at the time reminding myself and everything else about the date. Now keep in mind that they didn't show anything in the release date. Heck we didn't even know about Paleo Pals in the direct so before you say "didn't Paleo Pals ruin it for you?" We didn't even know that stuff back in the day.

March 20th 2015. I went to my local gamestop to pick up my Pre order and I absolutely loved Frontier and it was my favorite game of all time. Now you're probably wondering, how can I love this game when the Paleo Pals make the combat 3/4s automated? The simple answer was that I was sort of in a high when I first played this game. The gorgeous graphics, the animations and the environment all looked pretty damn good and heck I still think Frontier is the best looking 3ds title even to this day. That's entirely subjective, I realize but you can't ignore this game's presentation is top notch. Heck if you gave the game a few touch ups, it could look like a Switch game. Of course I also enjoyed the game's Miiverse community and seeing everyone's reactions to various things and getting to interact with people playing the game was a major factor for me. Although it never really occurred to me that people playing Frontier were playing it because they played other games in the series not because it was their first Fossil Fighters game. The best part of the story is easily when Nate gets his but bit. I actually saw this part in Japanese too but getting to see it in America was also very good. Seeing the twist that Nibbles was the Dreadasarus was also pretty damn good too. Of course I beat the game in 2 days and I did all the post game stuff in one sitting and I felt empty. Now I thought, "this can't be it. There has to be a reward for Ranking up every Vivisaur, Paleo Pal Vivisaur and every Super Paleo Pal Vivisaur. Maybe I'll get to use the Earth Dragon and Dreadraven." Now you're probably thinking to yourself "You're an idiot for assuming maxing out everything would unlock anything." And my answer is that the game wasn't even a week old when I set out to do this herculean task. I had basically an infinite amount of justification as to why I did this. I wasn't going to be all of the time I spent hyping this game up for nothing. I didn't just want to do to this, I HAD TO DO IT. 

So I began my long, tedious grind and I posted my struggles on Miiverse and Facebook (Really wished I knew about reddit back then.) And even some person on Miiverse even called me insane and they had every right to. Nonetheless, I soldiered on with the grind and kept Miiverse informed and after 2 months of grinding, I had done it. I had grinded every Vivisaur, Paleo Pal and Super Paleo Pal Vivisaur. So you're probably wondering what the reward is. Nothing, absolutely nothing, not even Stryker becoming your Paleo Pal (although Stryker does go unused as a Paleo Pal in the game's files.) So you're probably wondering did I regret it? Absolutely not. I enjoyed every second of that grind. It led to a lot of Miiverse posts and probably a lot of memes from said posts. Sometimes it's about the journey, not the destination or goal. Sometimes it's about the friends we make along the way. 

And for this reason alone, I can't legally hate Frontier and heck I still like Frontier over Champions simply because of this story. I mean I love Frontier even after my high wore off. What can I say? I just can't hate this game, I would be absolutely heartless if I did, even if Frontier did completely butcher Spinax, I still don't hate this game. This story is by far my favorite story in a video game. 

And that was my story with Fossil Fighters Frontier. 

[yootaesowlwrites]

Requested by: Izzy_xxx24

Request: Can I have this one with either Carlos or Daniel please

AU Prompt: D16- Mafia AU - I knew you were too perfect, of fucking course you had to be the leader of the mafia. of ALL things, the leader of the mafia?

A/N: So, I was going to take a nap yesterday afternoon, but then I scrolled through my phone looking at my notes, and just got so inspired, I think I might have gone a little overboard.

Warnings: Guns, Blood, Death, Shock, Fear, Horror, Possessive Carlos, Jealous Carlos.

Word Count: 2.4K

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(Y/n) sat at the bar in the night club that Carlos owned, he was talking to somebody about some sort of business while she waited for him to finish, she had no idea what kind of business and why it had to done at his club, but she was becoming bored while waiting for him, somebody walks up to her with one thing in their mind, everybody at the club knew not to flirt or talk with her, but now and then a new person would find their way into the club and they try their luck and night was no different, a guy new to town decided to visit the popular night club and saw (Y/n) sitting alone by the bar, and just like every other man, he thought she was single and looking for a quick fuck.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks, she could hear the confidence in his voice.

“No thanks.” (Y/n) mutters, Carlos had told her that he was the jealous type and she had witnessed it a few times when she was left alone at the bar while he conducted business, she was always told it was promotion business, she had no idea that he was a Mafia boss.

“Oh come on, one drink.” He says, thinking that she was just playing hard to get.

“I said, no thank you.” (Y/n) says as she turns her head to look at the guy, the bartender could see Carlos approaching the bar and knew by morning the man’s body would be found by the side of the road.

“Don’t be such a bi-“ He begins but was quickly cut off by Carlos.

“Finish that sentence and see what happens,” Carlos says, (Y/n) froze in her spot as the man turns around to look at Carlos. “Go on, I dare you to finish it.” The man had no idea who he was dealing with. “What were you about to call the lady?”

“A bitch.” He says and chuckles, Carlos chuckles as well but (Y/n) could hear how fake it was, she glances at the bartender and saw he had turned away.

“A bitch huh?” Carlos asks, his voice sounding calm, (Y/n) turns around in her chair, her eyes silently pleading with Carlos.

“Carlos, please.” (Y/n) whispers.

“No,” Carlos says harshly. “I will not let this man or any other man call my girl a bitch.” The man stood from his seat.

“Look, man, she was sitting here looking lonely, I was just keeping her company.” The man says, thinking he was going to talk his way out of trouble.

“Company?!” Carlos says loudly, the music in the club cuts off and everyone turns to the bar. “Did everyone hear that? This idiota was keeping my girl company!”

“It’s not such a big deal, man.” He says. “If anything, she’s asking to be fucked in her tight little dress.” If wasn’t silent before, it became silent now, nobody moved and nobody said anything, the regulars already knew that Carlos owned the club and if they disrespected him or (Y/n), you were as good as dead, Carlos’s henchmen made their way to the bar and grabbed the man by his arms harshly. “Hey, what the hell? Let me go!” Carlos takes a step closer to the man.

“You dare come into my club, drinking my expensive shit, looking at those women on the pole,” Carlos says, he points to the pole dancers on stage. “Disrespect my girl, disrespecting me in the process.” Carlos’s gripped the man’s jaw, digging his fingers into his cheeks. “You’re going to learn.” Carlos pushes the man back, but due to his henchmen holding him the man’s head snapped back. “If you can’t keep it in your pants, you don’t need it, do you?” The man’s eyes widen in shock. “Llevarlo al sótano.” His henchmen nodded their heads and dragged the man out of the club and down to the basement, not that (Y/n) knew what would happen to the man, or where he was being taken, she always thought they were just getting kicked out of the club and banned. “Darling.” Carlos looks at her, he pushes a few strands of hair out of her face. “He didn’t harm you, did he? Assault you?” (Y/n) shakes her head.

“No.” (Y/n) whispers, his hand caresses her cheek as the music switched back on and the noise slowly came back.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He knew that she didn’t like being at the club, he just hadn’t realized it was because of all the men hitting on her and it ending in a scene with the man being dragged away.

“Yes, please.” (Y/n) says, she stood from the chair at the bar and Carlos removed his blazer and draped it over her shoulders, she pulls it closer to her body as Carlos looked at her dress, it wasn’t as tight as the man had indicated it was, and neither was it short, it fitted her perfectly and ended above her knees, Carlos looks at the bartender.

“Diles que volveré pronto.” Carlos says, the bartender nods his head leaving his post to go tell the henchmen that he would be back later to take care of the man tied in the basement, Carlos wraps an arm around her waist pulling her a little closer to him, they walk out of the club and the night's cold air hits them. “Chilly?”

“A little.” (Y/n) says, they were walking towards his black sports car.

“I’ll turn on the heater when we’re in the car,” Carlos says, (Y/n) nods her head as a drunk man stumbled towards them.

“HEY, BIG MAFIA BOSS!” The drug man yells out, Carlos knew the man, he owed him money after loaning 5.5 million two months back. “I DON’T OWN YOU SHIT!” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun, (Y/n) gasps as the man aims it at Carlos.

“You loaned 5.5 million from me, are you here to repay me?” Carlos asks, the man pulls the trigger missing Carlos by a meter as he stumbled trying to stand still, the loud gunshot echo’s in (Y/n)’s ear before a loud pitch sound replaced the sound, Carlos unwraps his arm from around her pulling out his own gun, he aims it at the man and shoots him in the head, (Y/n) couldn’t hear anything around her, but she saw everything, Carlos had just killed a man in front of her, he looks at (Y/n) seeing the horror and shock on her face, his henchmen ran out of the club to see what was going on and saw the drunk man lying dead on the ground. “Take care of that.” Carlos orders as he looks at them, some of his men rush towards the body to take it away while Carlos turned his focus to (Y/n). “(Y/n)? (Y/n)?” Her hearing was slowly returning to her. “(Y/n)?” He placed his hand on her shoulders hoping to gain her attention, as soon as he touched her, she let out a loud scream.

“NO!” (Y/n) screams pushing his hands away from her. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” She gasps for air. “OH MY GO-“

“(Y/n).” Carlos softly says.

“YOU JUST SHOT A MAN!” (Y/n) gasps, her breathing becoming short and fast. “OH GO-“ She stops as she realizes the man had aimed his weapon at Carlos. “He was going to shoot you.” Tears build up in her eyes as fear and horror hit her.

“(Y/n), darling, let me explain,” Carlos says, she was trembling with fear. “Go get her some water!” Carlos orders one of his men, one of them runs into the building to retrieve the water. “Look at me, look at me, darling.” (Y/n) slowly looks up at him, her vision becoming blurred. “Calm down, take in a deep breath.” she continued breathing in and out rapidly. “Come on, take in one nice deep breath.” (Y/n) opens her mouth sucking in the cold night air. “That’s it, now blow it out slowly.” She blew it out but as slow as he was hoping. “Do it again.” She takes in another deep breath and blows it out, the henchman arrives with a bottle of water and gives it to Carlos, Carlos opens the bottle and holds it out for her. “Here, drink some water.” She takes the bottle and brings it closer to her mouth spilling some water as her hands still shook, she takes a sip from the cold water.

(Y/n) looks down at the bottle before taking another sip from it, Carlos turns to look at his men. “Cuida esa cosa en el sótano.” He instructs, Carlos wraps an arm around her and guides her to his car, he opens the door and helps her in, putting on her seatbelt as well, he walks around the car and climbs in as he takes out his keys, he pushes them into the ignition starting the car, he reverses out of the parking area and drives down the road, he could see that she was still in shock and decided that she shouldn’t be alone for the night. “I’m just going to stop at your place, pack an overnight bag for you.” (Y/n) slowly nods her head, her mind still replying the horrifying scene over and over in her head.

Carlos enters her apartment and looks around for a bag, he finds her gym bag and takes out a couple of shirts and pants from her closet and pushes it into the bag along with underwear and bra’s, he enters the bathroom and finds her bathroom bag, he packs her toothbrush and toothpaste into the bathroom bag before pushing it into the gym bag, he looks through the drawers and pushes her hairbrush into the bag before leaving the bathroom, he enters the living area and picks up her phone charges, pushing it into the bag as well, he zips the bag closed and leaves her apartment, locking it behind him, He returns to the car seeing (Y/n) still in the passenger seat slowly falling asleep as the initial shock slowly passed, he climbs in pushing the bag to the back.

“Are you still all right?” Carlos asks, (Y/n) nods her head and Carlos drives away from her apartment building and towards his mansion at the top of the hill.

Carlos parks the car at the front of the entrance seeing his men waited for his arrival outside his mansion, he cuts the engine and climbs out of the car.

“Get the bag.” Carlos orders as he walks around the car, he opens the passenger side door and undoes the seatbelt and carefully takes her out of the car, he enters the mansion and walks up the stairs to his bedroom, he lays her down on his bed and picks up the blanket that was draped over the bench at the end of his bed and throws it over her, her bag was left outside the bedroom door by the henchmen knowing that they weren’t allowed to enter his room, Carlos walks towards the door and picks up the bag bringing it into the room, he puts it on the bench and looks at her, she had fallen asleep during the ride to his house, he admired her for a moment before turning away to leave, he knew that he would have a lot to explain when she woke up, he was about to leave when he heard her mumble something, he turns back to the bed and saw her looking at him. “Could you repeat that?”

“I said, I knew you were too perfect to just be a night club owner.” (Y/n) says, Carlos chuckles as he pushes his hands into his pockets. “I mean seriously.”

“What part was too perfect?” Carlos asks.

“Everything.” (Y/n) says. “I should have realized it sooner.” She pushes herself into a sitting position and runs her hand through her hair, pushing them back only for more hair to fall into her face, Carlos smiles watching her, he wanted to push them back but knew it might be better if he stayed where he was, he had no idea how she would react if he would take a step closer to the bed, she brings one of her legs to her chest as she pulled the blanket closer to her, she looks up at him, for a second he could see conflict in her eyes. “Of fucking course, you had to be the leader of the Mafia!”

“I should have told you sooner.” Carlos begins, but she quickly cuts him off.

“No, no, you should have told me when we met!” (Y/n) says louder. “I mean, of ALL things, Carlos, The leader of the Mafia?” She had no idea if she was being brave or digging her own grave, but she would have to find out.

“Do you want anything to drink? Or eat?” Carlos asks, (Y/n) didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry or do both.

“I saw you kill a man, I found out you’re a Mafia boss, and you offer to get me food and something to drink?” (Y/n) asks in disbelief.

“We have much to talk about, I thought you’d like to have something to eat and drink while we do,” Carlos says, (Y/n) brings both her hands to her face, covering it, she gnawed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment, she uncovers her face to look at him.

“I’m not getting out of here anytime soon, am I?” (Y/n) asks.

“You’re free to leave, but I’d prefer if you stay the night,” Carlos says. “You experienced a lot tonight.” (Y/n) nods her head.

“Then I guess food would be nice, and a warm drink as well.” (Y/n) says, Carlos nods head and turns to leave. “And then we can talk, if you really feel like you need to explain yourself, you can…” she trails off, he turns to look at her. “But you’re the leader of the Mafia, me? I’m an ordinary person.”

“I assume you want to end our relationship?” Carlos asks, he knew how this could end, she could walk away and live her life normally, or she could stay and possibly get killed by his enemies.

“I should.” (Y/n) states. “I really should, but you’re the first person that has ever made me feel safe, even though I’m probably in more danger than ever.” Carlos nods his head. “We’ll um, discuss it later.” She runs her hand through her hair again. “After you bring me some food and hot chocolate.” A faint smile appeared on his lips, there was still a chance.

[hysterialevi]

His Name Was Isaac - Ch. 7

Fanfic summary: During a mission to avenge his mother’s death, Isaac hunts down the men responsible for her murder and kills them off one-by-one, only to discover that his last target is taking refuge among the Van der Linde gang. In an attempt to kill them, Isaac attacks the gang and unknowingly becomes enemies with his own father, who is in the process of fighting his own battle for redemption.

Point of view: third-person

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This story is also on AO3

THE NEXT DAY

AURORA BASIN

Hauling the last of their supplies onto the back of the wagon, Arthur lifted up the rear guard and secured them in place, making sure that the few things they had left wouldn’t get lost during the long trek ahead of them.

For the time being, their plan was to head south to Manzanita Post and replace any of the resources that were destroyed, as well as trade for some new weapons with the people there. Afterwards, they’d travel north to Strawberry and search for any tips that could lead them to their next big score.

Arthur didn’t know what could possibly be worth stealing in that small, little settlement, but it wasn’t as if their gang had much of a choice in the matter. Whoever attacked their camp left them with next to nothing, and now, the only money they had left was from the bank job. 

If they didn’t find something or someone to rob soon, they’d be at the end of their rope. 

And there was no telling what Dutch would do then.

“Arthur!” Someone exclaimed, causing the man to look over his shoulder. It was Joe, coming up to see him.

“What is it?” Arthur asked, moving onto the horses. 

Joe stepped next to the mounts, resting a hand on one of the hitching posts.

“I wanted to thank you.” He said.

“Thank me?” Arthur straightened his mount’s saddle, giving it a firm tug. “For what?”

“For savin’ my ass yesterday. Dutch nearly blew my brains out after what happened with Cleet. If you hadn’t intervened, I’d be dead in the ground by now. I owe you one.”

Despite the friendly sentiment, Arthur didn’t return Joe’s appreciative tone.

“Yeah, well... if it turns out you were the traitor after all,” he backed up from the horses, looking Joe in the eye, “...you’ll wish I let Dutch shoot you back there.”

Joe concealed his fear with a subtle gulp. “Of course. I understand. But, I was wondering something else...”

Arthur raised a brow. “...What?”

“Well... was anyone missing from the bank robbery?”

“Missing?” He thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. Everyone we planned to bring showed up. Why?”

“Because if everyone was accounted for, then it makes no sense to say that one of our own people sabotaged the supplies.”

Arthur gave him a firm reminder. “...Assuming you weren’t the rat, of course.”

Joe nodded. “Of course. But Cleet obviously didn’t do anything, and if everyone was present at the robbery, then how the hell is it possible that one of us poisoned the food? We’re a tough gang, but even we can’t be in two places at once.”

Arthur shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe they poisoned it before we left.”

“I’m pretty sure someone would’ve seen that,” the other man argued. “And besides, I think everyone ate in the morning. If the food was already poisoned, y’all would’ve died long before the Pinkertons cornered you.”

The older man sighed, unable to dispute Joe’s point.

“I’ll admit...” he said reluctantly, “it don’t make much sense when you put it that way. Fine. What d’you think then, Joe? If it weren’t one of us that did it, then who?”

Joe checked their surroundings for a second, making sure nobody else was eavesdropping.

“Well, just based on the timing of Cleet’s death, I’d say the food was poisoned while y’all was at the bank. This means that whoever destroyed the supplies knew our schedule. They knew when we’d be the most vulnerable. And most importantly, they knew the layout of the land. Otherwise, there ain’t no way they’d be able to sneak in so easily.”

Arthur placed a hand on his hip. “So, what’re you saying, exactly?”

“I don’t think it was one of us that poisoned the food,” Joe stated. “However, I do think it’s one of us that’s helpin’ them.” 

The older man took on a more serious tone. “...And who d’you think that is?”

Joe shook his head in uncertainty. “Whoever has the most to gain.”

Arthur fell silent for a moment, taking in everything Joe just said. 

Despite his wariness about the whole situation, he couldn’t deny that the man raised a few good points. 

As far as Arthur could recall, nobody was absent from the bank robbery, and there were no disappearances along the way either. So it didn’t make sense to say that the culprit was one of them. 

And on top of all that, Arthur highly doubted that whoever poisoned the food would’ve stuck around afterwards. It was more likely that they bolted once the job was done, and hoped that the gang would take it out on somebody else.

Arthur had no idea if it was bounty hunters, or Skinner Brothers, or even the goddamned Pinkertons who were responsible for this, but now that he really thought about it... he was inclined to agree with Joe.

There was no way it could’ve been one of their own men that caused the damage, but it was definitely a Van der Linde that talked.

“Well...” Arthur said lowly, not wanting to reveal too many of his thoughts, “I still dunno what the hell is goin’ on here, but... you might be right. I just don’t understand why anyone would do this. Especially now, of all times.”

Joe shared Arthur’s confusion. “It doesn’t make sense to me either, but if we wanna survive this year, we better find the rat soon. I don’t like the idea of wanderin’ into all that civilization with a traitor among us.”

“Agreed. Lemme know if you see anything strange. Dutch is paranoid enough as it is. We don’t need him worryin’ about mutiny too.”

Joe nodded, taking his leave. “Will do.”

Returning to his business, Arthur finished up preparing the horses as they whinnied in anticipation and swayed their heads excitedly, clearly eager to get out of these treacherous woods. 

It wouldn’t be long now before the Pinkertons finally closed in on their location, and if Arthur’s instincts were correct, then Dutch’s plan to get out of Tall Trees wouldn’t go nearly as well as he expected.

There were just too many unknowns. Too many threats lurking in the shadows. For all they knew, the same person who poisoned their food could’ve been watching them as they spoke. 

Arthur just hoped that the limitations of civilization would slow them down a bit. Whoever was attacking them didn’t seem to be working with the law -- Pinkertons usually captured their targets alive -- and he doubted that the Skinner Brothers would be so covert with their tactics either.

No... he had a feeling that this was something different. Something more personal. The saboteur clearly had some sort of history with the Van der Linde gang that was motivating these attacks, and in Arthur’s eyes, it almost felt like they were trying to take them out before anyone else could.

He just didn’t know why.

“Arthur!” Dutch suddenly called from a distance, sauntering up to the wagons. “You ready to go?”

Arthur patted his horse on the neck, giving Dutch a firm nod. “Ready when you are. But what about the route we’re plannin’ to take? Everything look okay so far?”

Dutch coughed a few times, not even bothering to hide the weary look on his face. “You’re not gonna believe it. I sent Bill to scout the path ahead earlier, and he tells me one of the bridges we was gonna cross has been destroyed.”

The other man paused. "The hell? But everything was fine yesterday. How did it get destroyed overnight?”

Dutch was at a loss for words. “I have no idea. But this means we’re gonna have to take a detour. We’ll go along the central road to Manzanita Post instead, then head up north once we got the supplies we need.”

Arthur didn’t like the sound of that at all. “North? That’s where most of the Skinner Brother camps are, Dutch.”

“I know, son. But the only alternative route would take us so far south that the Pinkertons would most likely surround us before we even got near the state border. You know how big the Montana River is. They’d be able to pick us off there no problem. I’d rather deal with a few crazies than get captured by the law.”

Arthur let out a deep sigh, unable to think of any other solutions. “...Alright. If that’s the only choice we’ve got.”

Dutch put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with a sincere gaze. “Thank you for trustin’ me, Arthur. We’ll get through this. Now, c’mon. Strawberry awaits.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

TALL TREES

Traversing the uneven terrain of the forest as the local wildlife scurried around them, the Van der Linde gang pushed through the silent woods as they kept their eye on the seemingly unreachable horizon, doing their best to remain hopeful.

Thanks to the collapsed bridge Bill reported earlier, they had been forced into the area of Tall Trees that was most notorious for disappearances, as well as having an alarming amount of Skinner Brother activity.

There wasn’t a single inch of this forest that felt safe to them, and with the constant threat of being attacked clawing at their minds, it was needless to say that the gang felt somewhat on edge.

It was only a matter of time until they snapped.

“How’s it lookin’ back there?” Dutch called out to the wagons behind him. “Everything seem to be in order?”

Shay gestured to the path beneath them. “Yeah, but I’ve noticed a lotta tracks on these roads, Dutch. Looks like someone’s been ridin’ around all over this place.”

Dutch didn’t seem too bothered by the observation. “Probably just Pinkertons searching for us. You see any sign of the bastards yet?”

“No, but we should be careful. These tracks look recent. I reckon whoever left ‘em is still roaming around here somewhere. They might not be friendly.”

Arthur sighed, lightly whipping the reins as Dutch sat beside him.

“Great. Another thing to worry about. You think it could be Skinner Brothers?”

The older man shrugged. “Who knows. There are plenty o’ things that could kill you in Tall Trees. If we’re lucky, it’ll just be a group of bandits targeting these roads.”

“Let’s hope so. I’d take a good, honest holdup over dealin’ with the law any day.”

Dutch chuckled. “Oh, absolutely. I didn’t think we’d ever see Agent Ross again -- not after everything that happened with Milton -- and yet, here he is. More despicable than ever.”

Arthur thought back to the robbery. “Did you see who his new partner was?”

He shook his head. “No, but he looked like a young man to me. Not as weathered as Milton or Ross. He seemed like the type of feller who would lack experience, but make up for it in brawn.” Dutch smirked humorously. “Kinda reminds me of you, all them years ago.”

Arthur laughed softly at that. “Not anymore, though?”

Dutch let out a tired breath. “Oh, I’m afraid not, son. We’re still strong, mind you... but even we ain’t as spry as we used to be. Time will do that to you.”

The younger man’s tone sunk a little. “...And, erm... how’s your health doing? You been feelin’ alright recently?”

Dutch cleared his throat. “About as well as you can expect at my age. I ain’t got long left in this world -- we both know that -- but I don’t want none of you cryin’ over me. I’m not dead yet. Let’s just focus on headin’ east and finding a suitable doctor who can treat me. Then we can start worrying about my health.”

Arthur decided to drop it for now. “Alright. Just... lemme know if you notice anything strange. I don’t wanna wait till it’s too late.”

The other man chuckled. “Worrying about your old man, are we, Mr. Morgan? Well, ain’t that just sweet.”

Bringing their discussion to an end, Dutch’s attention was suddenly diverted from Arthur when Micah shouted at him from behind, pointing out a peculiar obstacle blocking their path.

“Hey, cowpokes! I think I see somethin’ on the road!”

Squinting his eyes, Dutch peered into the distance and tried to make out the large object barricading the road, only to freeze in shock when he realized it was a toppled stagecoach decorated with corpses.

There were no signs of the culprit as far as Dutch could see, but judging by the freshness of the bodies and the smoke rising from the coach, he assumed they were killed not too long ago.

“...Ah, shit.” He murmured to himself, taking in the morbid scene. “This probably just happened. Poor bastards. Who d’you think did this?”

An alarm went off in Arthur’s head. “Well, I dunno who did it, but I sure as hell recognize those bodies. Is it just me, or do they look like Skinner Brothers?”

Dutch examined their mottled skin and diseased faces, unable to deny the resemblance. 

“No, it ain’t just you...” He replied grimly. “But who in their right mind would attack Skinner Brothers? And in broad daylight? Surely, that would bring nothing good.”

Arthur was at a loss. “It’s beyond me. But... somethin’ don’t feel right about this.”

Dutch raised a brow. “What d’you mean?”

“Think about it. Why the hell would you attack someone as crazy as the Skinner Brothers unless you were tryin’ to get attention? And to leave their bodies lying out in the open, right in the middle of the road...” Arthur put a hand on his revolver. “...I think someone wanted us to see this.”

A sense of dread filled the other man’s eyes. “Who?”

“No idea.” Arthur climbed down from the wagon, readying his gun. “But I’m gonna find out. Wait here.”

“Shay!” Dutch called, signaling the man to follow Arthur. “Go with him, will you? Let us know if you find anything.”

Carefully approaching the grotesque scene, Arthur and Shay quickly started to sift through the carnage that was left behind as they searched around for clues, curious to see who on Earth could’ve caused such a mess.

The stagecoach didn’t appear to belong to the Skinner Brothers -- the postal label on the side was enough to confirm that -- but its lockbox was full of cash and food instead of mail.

Right off the bat, Arthur assumed the Skinner Brothers must’ve stolen the coach and been using it to transport any valuables they looted, but he found it odd that whoever attacked them didn’t take any of it for themselves. 

It just made him wonder even more what the motivation behind this killing was, and for some unknown reason, part of him began to suspect that the person responsible for this also poisoned their food. 

He just couldn’t figure out what the correlation was.

“Hey, Shay,” Arthur said, “you see anything--”

Barely giving them any time to react, a lone bullet suddenly zipped past them and soared straight into a stick of dynamite that had been strapped to a nearby tree, causing it to explode with a bang as the impact sent Arthur and Shay flying backwards.

Meanwhile, the tree’s trunk snapped into two as the upper half collapsed onto the road, separating Arthur and Shay from the rest of the gang.

“Holy shit!” Mackintosh exclaimed, stumbling to his feet. “What the hell is this?!”

Arthur took cover behind the stagecoach, holding his revolver close. “No idea!”

“Hey!” Dutch yelled from the other side. “You boys still alive?”

“...For now!” Arthur answered. “But we can’t stay here! Y’all focus on findin’ another way around! We’ll catch up to you later!”

“But--”

Another bullet planted itself into the ground next to Arthur’s feet, prompting him to become even more frantic.

“--Just go!”

Staying behind while the gang fled in search of a detour, Arthur and Shay remained huddled up by the stagecoach as their pursuer continued to shower them with bullets, scraping off splinters of wood from the vehicle with every shot.

They couldn’t see who was attacking them or where they were, but just based on the direction of the trajectory, Arthur guessed they were firing at them from within the woods.

“Can you see them?!” Shay shouted over all the commotion, peeking around the edge.

“No! But I think they’re using the trees as cover! Keep shootin’ at the woods! I’m gonna try to get this stagecoach back on its wheels!”

Shay threw a bewildered look at him. “What? Why?”

“Because if we can get this thing movin’ again, then we can use it as cover while we make our way down the road. Now help me lift it up!”

“I thought you wanted me to shoot at them!”

Arthur stuttered. “I-- oh, for Chrissake, just lift it!”

Giving the coach a firm heave, the two of them worked together to bring it back to a standing position as their attacker carried on with the assault, trying fervently to take them out.

Arthur didn’t know why, but he got the impression that the assailant was mainly after him. All of their bullets seemed to be aimed in his general direction more so than Shay’s, and the fact that they separated him from the rest of the gang only made him wonder if they were a long-lost enemy he had forgotten.

“Jesus Christ...” He muttered through gritted teeth. He certainly hoped it wasn’t anyone who used to run with the Van der Lindes. Arthur already had a hard enough time when it came to fighting rival gangs or enemies that they encountered on the road, but if this was someone he knew from before... he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to kill them.

“Almost got it...!” Shay groaned in a strained voice, his arms now starting to quiver from the coach’s weight.

Finally tilting the sturdy vehicle back onto its wheels, Arthur hurriedly yanked one of the doors open and slammed his body against it, pushing the coach forward while Shay fired back at their attacker.

Judging by the way the foliage twitched with the pursuer’s movements, Arthur assumed they were venturing further down the path in an attempt to stop them and probably setting up some other kind of trap.

He had no idea if they had a second stack of dynamite lying around somewhere, or if they were going after the rest of the gang, but at the moment, Arthur only prayed he’d live long enough to find out.

“Shit!” Shay shouted as a bullet darted through one of the coach’s windows. “This bastard’s got good aim!”

Arthur pressed harder against the door. “Well, make sure yours is better!”

Forcing the stagecoach up a steep hill, Arthur mustered as much strength as he possibly could and flattened his palms on the door’s surface, trying to ignore the ache that was now spreading in his arms.

The vehicle budged a little bit, but even with all his effort, it wasn’t nearly enough to get the damned thing over the hill. He’d need help.

“Shay!” Arthur grunted out. “Lend me a hand here!”

Putting his gun down for a moment, Shay jogged over to Arthur’s position and helped the man push the stagecoach up the sharp incline, both of them now battling against its unforgiving weight.

With their strength put together, the coach finally started ascending the hill’s abrupt angle and continued to slide along the path, giving them some much-needed cover from the never-ending storm of gunshots.

“You got it?” Arthur checked, his boots now digging into the ground.

Shay gave the vehicle another shove, clearly struggling with it. “I... I think so...!”

Before anymore progress could be made however, another bullet suddenly hit the side Shay’s leg and sent him tumbling to the ground, causing him to cry out in pain as the stagecoach began to roll backwards.

“Goddammit...!” Arthur exclaimed once he realized the vehicle was headed straight for him. 

He tried to leap out of the way of the oncoming stagecoach and dove to the side of the road, but was ultimately rammed directly in the ribs before being thrown into the dirt.

He could hardly breathe. It felt like his heart had just been knocked out of his chest, and the whole world around him looked like it was going black.

He desperately gasped for air and crawled through the slick mud, unable to even see where his gun had dropped.

The only thing he could hear at the moment was his own hammering heartbeat and the feeble croaks that escaped from his battered lungs, accompanied by the muffled sounds of gunfire and shouting.

“...Shay...!” He wheezed, sluggishly rising from the ground. “...Shay...! Where... are you...?”

Scanning his surroundings, Arthur gazed further down the road and managed to spot Mackintosh himself at the top of the hill, scrambling around in panic due to the new wound in his leg. What really caught Arthur’s attention, though... was the fact that he was no longer alone.

Yanking out his hunting knife, Shay frantically tried to get away from the stranger and wildly swung the weapon a few times, only to receive a fist to the face when the assailant grabbed his arm.

The sheer force of the attack sent him reeling back and caused a fresh stream of blood to flow from his nostril, staining his lips and teeth red.

It shocked Mackintosh how strong his opponent was, considering their seemingly young age, but it was more than evident to him now that this man was no stranger to these types of affairs.

There was an undeniable ferocity in the nature of his attacks, and just based on the pure sense of hatred that illuminated from the man’s glare, Shay guessed this was an enemy he had made in the past.

He just couldn’t figure out who he was.

Lunging at the young man again, Shay limped towards the attacker and sliced his knife downwards, cutting a gash in the stranger’s coat but not actually reaching his skin.

He lost balance due to the bullet now buried in his leg and plunged to the ground beside the young man, allowing his opponent to turn the tide of the fight.

Taking out his own knife, the stranger grabbed Shay by the collar and hauled him to his feet, making sure he couldn’t escape. Afterwards, he took hold of Shay’s abdomen and thrust the blade forward, jabbing the weapon deep into his gut.

“...Mackintosh...!” Arthur exclaimed upon witnessing the attack. 

He tore himself away from the ground and weakly approached the violent scene, hoping to help Shay even though he knew it was too late.

The man was already bleeding profusely from the stomach and had hardly any color left in his skin, but even then, it was obvious that the young man wasn’t done with him yet.

Ripping the blade out of Shay’s stomach, he slammed the man against a nearby tree and held him in place, looking directly into his tormented eyes.

There was a sense of despair engraved in the young man’s expression, and the longer Shay studied his oddly familiar features, the more he began to recognize him.

“...Shay. Mackintosh.” The stranger growled slowly, his tone sharp with anguish. “I finally have you. After fifteen, goddamned years... I finally have you.

Shay stared at the young man in fear, unsure of whether or not he was identifying him correctly.

“Who... are you?” He breathed out, still exhausted from the fight. “Why are you... tryin’ to kill me...?”

The stranger gave him a firm shake, his grip growing even tighter.

“Look at me,” he urged. “You know me, Shay. Far better than you may think.”

Taking a minute to sift through his memories, Shay practically watched his whole life flash before his eyes as he thought back to where he was fifteen years ago, trying to reshape the world around him.

At first, nothing immediate came to mind, but upon peering deeper into the young man’s sorrowful gaze, a specific memory suddenly jumped out at Shay, and he felt his entire body freeze.

He remembered three other men. Three other outlaws.

Charles Baumann, Thaddeus Blackmore, and Eli Whitley.

They robbed a cabin. Killed the owner too. She was a young woman, hardly into her twenties.

And worst of all, Shay remembered she had a son. A boy of only six years. He witnessed the whole murder, and ended up being taken in by them due to Whitley’s insistence.

But Shay never watched him grow up. He abandoned the small gang not too long after they killed the boy’s mother. The guilt would’ve destroyed him otherwise.

Now, though, everything made sense to him. The Pinkerton ambush, the poisoning of the food, the sabotage of the supplies... it was all linked to him. It was all because of what he did fifteen years ago.

This young man was that same little boy, and he had come for revenge.

“...Isaac Morgan.” Shay said plainly, finally understanding who he was. “It’s you. You’re still alive... after all this time.”

Isaac clenched his jaw, attempting to hide the tears that glossed over his eyes.

“I couldn’t die.” He replied, his voice trembling slightly. “Not without killin’ you first. You and your men... you took everything from me. You took Eliza from me.”

Shay closed his eyes in remorse, not even bothering to bargain with the boy.

“...I know, Isaac.” He said gently. “I know what we did was wrong. That’s why I left. Eli, too.” 

A morbid thought crossed Shay’s mind. “...Where is Eli, anyway? Are you lookin’ for him as well? Or have you found him already?”

Isaac nodded. “He’s dead, Shay. Him and the others. You’re the last one.”

Mackintosh wasn’t surprised. “...I thought so.”

Interrupting their exchange, a soft rustle suddenly emitted from behind Isaac’s back and caused him to whip around in curiosity, leading the young man to find himself face-to-face with a new stranger.

Isaac recognized the man as the same gang member Shay was riding with earlier, but contrary to what he expected, the man didn’t appear to be hostile. Instead, he approached the two of them peacefully, and kept his gun in his holster.

Still, Isaac wasn’t willing to take any chances and immediately pulled Shay into his grasp, holding the knife up to his throat.

“Back off!” He warned. “I will kill him!”

The other man raised his hands in a diplomatic manner, attempting to calm the boy down.

“...Easy, Isaac,” he soothed. “It’s okay. Just take it easy.”

The boy paused abruptly, unsure of how to react. “What? How d’you... how d’you know my name? Who are you?”

The man steadily approached him, keeping his hands in the air. 

“I heard your conversation with Mackintosh,” he explained. “You... you lost your mother when you was a boy? Is that right?”

That only confused Isaac even more. “How the hell do you know Eliza was my mother? Why do you even care? Answer my question! Who are you?” He pressed the knife harder into Shay’s throat.

The man stopped in his tracks, not wanting to provoke the boy any further. Instead, he decided that actions would speak louder than words in this scenario and simply reached upwards to remove his hat, unveiling the familiar face that hid underneath.

He couldn’t believe it. Mere moments ago, Arthur was dragging himself through the mud, doing anything he could to survive. He genuinely thought today would be the day he died, but now... he was talking to someone who he never thought he’d see again.

He didn’t know if the boy would remember him, or if he would even still love him after all those years of being separated, but one thing was for certain -- Isaac was Arthur’s son.

And against all odds, he was still alive.

“...It’s me.” Arthur revealed, doing his best to keep himself together. “I’m your dad.”

[atths--twice]

Chapter Nine  9/9

The Kosher Deli December 25, 2017 One week later

Mulder looked up from an email from Cera, as the bells on the door jingled, announcing an arrival. It was not Scully, but an older man and a little girl wearing hot pink furry earmuffs and a matching coat. They walked past him and he watched them approach the counter, smiling as the girl looked at all the cookies, as she decided on which one she wanted to buy.

He looked back down at his phone, at the photos she had sent over and he shook his head. The night she had been attacked in the amusement park, she had captured pictures of Elinor, unbeknownst to her until a couple of days later.

Elinor had not appeared as a ghost, but as a slightly out of focus person, getting clearer the closer she came to Cera. Not an angel in a graveyard, but a vengeful woman in her wedding dress. Mulder shook his head at the physical proof of an apparition that he held in his hand and all he could think was that it had nearly cost Scully her life. Not worth it.

Nothing was worth that.

“Hey,” Scully said, suddenly beside him and he jumped as he turned to look at her, locking his phone and putting it into his pocket. “Scare you?” She smiled as she sat down carefully, taking a chip from the bag in front of him.

“What have I been telling you for the past few days? I don’t get scared, remember?” he lied, his heart racing in his chest.

“Hmm,” she hummed, eating the chip and taking another. “Couldn’t wait for me?”

“You said twenty minutes and it’s been... at least thirty. So, I needed something to tide me over.”

“I believe the new established understanding is, if it’s longer than twenty minutes, bacon is involved. All the bacon.”

“Jewish deli, Scully,” he quipped, looking around and she laughed softly.

“Touché,” she said as she stood up just as carefully as she had sat down, brushing off her hands, and sliding off her coat and leaving it on her chair. “I’ll go order for us, you wait here and keep the table.” She stared at him and he raised an eyebrow. “Pastrami on rye, extra mustard, pickle on the side.” He kept staring and she smiled. “Coleslaw, unless the potato salad looks homemade.”

“Ahhh, Scully…” he said, more than a little aroused.

“Twenty five years, Mulder,” she said, shrugging and walking away.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Twenty five years.”

He sighed as he watched her waiting in line, seeing her unconsciously rubbing gently at her chest. Knowing it was the ache of the bruises that covered the skin beneath the black sweater she wore, he shook his head, rubbing at his mouth.

They had only arrived home yesterday afternoon, after Scully had spent a couple of days in the hospital, making sure she was all right after nearly dying at the Boudreaux house. The ambulance had arrived not long after she had passed out and taken her to a hospital nearby, him following behind in the car.

He had not been allowed back until she was in a room, no matter how he had raged or flashed his badge. When he had finally been allowed back, he had walked into her room, believing she was asleep and causing him to pause in the doorway. But then she had opened her eyes and reached her hand out to him. He had walked over to her, grasping her hand and kissing her forehead, before resting his against hers.

“Thank you,” she had whispered, her thumb rubbing over the top of his hand.

“Scully,” he had whispered, pulling back to look at her.

“Stay with me. Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She had tugged at his hand, trying to move over, groaning as she did. “Hey… careful. Let me help you.”

He had helped her shift over a bit, took off his shoes and suit jacket, and slid beneath the blankets beside her. Lying on their sides, she had nestled into him, his arms wrapped around her, and her hand grasping at his shirt.

“Mulder…” she had sighed, her breath warm against his neck, falling asleep almost instantly.

In the next few days, she had quite a few visitors for someone who knew no one in the area. Sheriff Lavonne had come to take their statement and her eyes had flicked to Mulder’s as he stood in the corner of the room, listening to her doctored version of events.

She had already told him what had happened, or what she thought had happened, shaking her head as she had said she did not know what was real or imagined.

“You think you imagined it, Scully?” he had asked, and she shook her head with a sigh.

“I don’t know, Mulder.” She had looked at him with a shrug, looking down as she rubbed the blanket between her fingers. “How can I explain to others that I believe I was trapped inside of a mirror with a woman who died over 150 years ago? I can barely comprehend it. How can I explain that without ending up in the psych ward?”

To that question, he had no answer.

Arielle, Davis, Cera, and Adam had come to see them, eager to tell their story of what had happened.

The four of them had met up, sharing the stories each had heard over the years concerning Elinor and Mary. When they had hit a dead end, they had done the same as Mulder, scouring past records for any information. They had called family members, friends, and friends of friends, asking if anyone they knew had ever mentioned or knew of stories related to Mary and Elinor.  

They had found a person related to James Cormier, a man who had heard his mother tell stories that she had heard about lost loves and being sure to choose the right person as your life partner. To never settle for the most beautiful or wealthy because both will fade. But love, it lasts and remains forever, no matter a person's social standing.  

“Better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable,” Arielle had said and the others had agreed, but then debated that being happy and a bit rich would not be so bad. They had all laughed and then they continued the story.

After they had spoken to Reese, James’s distant relative, they knew what they needed to do.

“Truth be told,” Davis had said, shaking his head. “The minute Arielle showed me the pictures Cera had taken a few years ago, I knew what we had to do, but I was terrified to actually do it.”

“I was too,” Arielle had said, taking his hand and looking at him with a nod. “I felt nauseous at the thought of even being there. But then, we went and saw Farrah and Tyler in the hospital, something I had been unable to do until then, and I wasn’t scared anymore. I was fucking pissed.” Davis had nodded in agreement, clenching his jaw.

They had driven out, stopping at a hardware store for sledgehammers and protective eye goggles, gaining curious looks, but no comments from the gum chewing young girl who had rung up four people buying such items in the middle of a storm.

When they had pulled up to the church, Arielle and Davis both had a moment of hesitation, breathing hard and shaking in the pouring rain.

“But then Cera…” Arielle had said, tears in her eyes as she reached for her friend’s hand. “She grabbed my hand and that was all I needed. She nodded and we walked together in the rain, determined to end it.”

Knowing exactly where it was, Cera leading them, still holding Arielle’s hand, they had each taken a sledgehammer and put on their goggles, lightning flashing and the rain making it harder to see, but not impossible to get their task finished.

Simultaneously, they had hit Elinor’s headstone and the large statue of Mary that had been ordered to be erected there by Mary’s mother Elizabeth, years after Mary’s death.

“Hany, the slave girl who had been befriended by Mary, had also been entrusted with letters Mary had written when she was the most ill regarding her concerns about Elinor, that were to be given to her mother after Mary’s father had died,” Adam had explained. “Mary did not like her father and he did not seem to care for her either. After his death, Hany came back to that house she had lived in as a slave, and told the truth she had kept secret for years. Mary’s mother had the statue made as a sense of revenge: that Mary would always be there no matter where Elinor was. So… that bitch had to come down.” The other three had nodded vigorously and Mulder had looked at Scully, impressed by the little group of badasses.

Not stopping until both were piles of rubble, they had fallen to the ground, everyone but Adam crying, feeling free, the rain washing them clean.

“I didn’t even feel cold,” Arielle had said, crying and wiping her eyes. “For the first time in nearly two months, in the pouring rain, I didn’t feel cold.” She had looked at Mulder and he had nodded with a smile before glancing at Scully. She had wiped at her own eyes and looked at him, understanding that their actions had not only saved them, but had been what saved her as well.

When Scully had been released from the hospital, they had gone to see Farrah and Tyler, who were now awake and making a slow recovery, much to Doctor Audrey’s relief.

“It’s going to take a long time for them to heal,” Scully had said, taking a deep breath as they walked down the hallway, slowing her steps for a second. Taking another deep breath, she had placed her hand on her chest, giving him a nod. “I’m okay. Just some bruising.” He had stared at her, knowing he had been the one to put the bruises there, in his desperate attempt to keep her heart beating, and she had shaken her head.

“I’ll take the bruises over the alternative any day,” she had said softly and he had nodded, placing his hand on the small of her back as they had continued out of the hospital.

“Food should be up soon,” she said, sitting beside him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Great, I’m starving.”

“Maybe this will help tide you over until then?” she asked with a smile, placing a black and white cookie in front of him on a napkin. He nodded as he looked at it, breaking it in half horizontally, two pieces of equal amount of both colors.  

“Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie,” he said, quoting Seinfeld and he handed her half. She laughed and nodded as she took a bite and he did the same.

“Order for Fox? Fox, your order is ready!”

“Really?” he asked, staring at her and shaking his head. She shrugged, not meeting his eyes until he started to get up and she looked at him, her eyes shining. “I’ll remember this, Miss Scully, mark my words.”

“I’m sure you will… Fox,” she giggled and he shook his head with a smile as he walked up to the counter.

“Fox?” the girl at the counter asked.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he muttered, and she nodded, sliding their tray of food toward him.

“Thank you for coming in today, Fox. And Merry Christmas!” He looked at her and nodded.

“Happy Holidays to you,” he said, picking up the tray and turning around. He shook his head as he saw Scully grinning at him as he walked back to their table.

“Did you get the food okay then, Fox?”

“You best watch it,” he said, setting the tray down as she took their plates off of it, and he moved the tray to the side.  

They ate in silence, sharing food back and forth as they always had, and he found comfort in the comfortable. Glancing at her as she stopped eating to take a deep breath, he shook his head needing to tell her something that had been on his mind.

“I know I’ve joked that I don’t get scared anymore,” he said quietly, setting his sandwich down, and wiping his hands clean. “But… I was more scared than I have ever been when I couldn’t bring you around. You were so cold-”

“Mulder-”

“I thought I’d lost you, Scully. I really did.”

“Your panic face was showing?” she teased and he looked at her, his expression serious.

“I’m not joking. I’m not-”

“Mulder,” she said quietly, covering his hand with her own and squeezing his fingers. “I know. I… I was scared too. Very scared.” He nodded as he looked into her eyes and they spoke the best way they knew how; silently. He squeezed her hand with a deep sigh and a nod and she squeezed back.

Not saying anything further, words unnecessary, they sat quietly holding hands, in a busy Jewish deli on Christmas afternoon, her head resting on his shoulder, as life bustled on around them.