#trans!leo knut

[ripeteeth]

HI! This is my first ask I've ever done on this app so please, do let me know if I've made any mistakes or if I've violated any of the etiquette rules.

That aside, I discovered your writing account/s in the comment section of a post asking for beautifully written fanfiction on Reddit and was instantly enchanted by the lushness of your writing and the imagery found in so many of your works, not to mention the unique concepts and plotlines they contained. And you wrote for a lot of my favourite ships too.

The number of screenshots I have of various passages I found particularly moving or breathtaking in its detailed description of love, or the world surrounding these characters is ... it's a lot yea. It seems I've gone on a bit of an unrelated ramble to what I would like to ask, so apologies. Ehem

I was wondering, what are some of your favourite authors? Or favourite writers that you tend to go to for a re-read or just a damn good fanfic? It's just that you write so beautifully and breathe such life into these characters that I'm curious as to the fics/books you've taken inspiration from or enjoy!

Hi! Omg, thank you for such a lovely ask. I've been really feeling rough about my writing lately and this was such a bright spot in my day <3. I'm so happy that you've been enjoying my stuff!

And I will ALWAYS talk about books and writers I love, and I'm gonna list far too many here because I have so many favorites and also do not know how to shut up. These are all books I've absolutely loved and have had some influence or impact on the way I write, or I hope that they do.

Fiction Frankenstein (1818 edition) - Mary Shelley Written On The Body - Jeanette Winterson On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong Cassandra - Christa Wolf Wolf Hall - Hilary Mantel Autobiography of Red - Anne Carson Grendel - John Gardner Drive Your Plow Over The Bones of the Dead - Olga Tokarczuk Wise Blood - Flannery O'Connor Simple Passion - Annie Ernaux An American Childhood - Annie Dillard Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy Lote - Shola von Reinhold Crash - JG Ballard Hunger - Knut Hamsun Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - Patrick Süskind Bastard Out of Carolina - Dorothy Allison The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco If on a winter's night a traveler - Italo Calvino To Say Nothing of the Dog - Connie Willis Outside the Gates - Molly Gloss Shadow & Claw - Gene Wolfe The Pearl Diver - Jeff Talarigo The Makioka Sisters - Junichiro Tanizaki A Map to the Door of No Return - Dionne Brand Piranesi - Susanna Clarke Near to the Wild Heart - Clarice Lispector Tigana - Guy Gavriel Kay Housekeeping - Marilynne Robinson Snow Country - Yasunari Kawabata Wide Sargasso Sea - Jean Rhys The Master & Margarita - Mikhail Bulgakov We Have Always Lived In The Castle - Shirley Jackson How To Be Both - Ali Smith Non-Fiction Erotism - Georges Bataille A Lover's Discourse - Roland Barthes Blood, Bones, and Butter - Gabrielle Hamilton Just Kids - Patti Smith Consent - Vanessa Springora Stigmata - Hélène Cixous Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets - Svetlana Alexievich

Poetry All The Flowers Kneeling - Paul Tran Night Sky With Exit Wound - Ocean Vuong The Descent of Alette - Alice Notley Our Andromeda - Brenda Shaughnessy Desire - Frank Bidart

[spookypotato]

Leo - Just Leo 2

Characters by @lumosinlove

Thank you to elisa my beta <3

And thank you everyone for being invested! I did not expect people to care that much, but I'm happy you did :))

part 1

TW: coming out, anxiety, stess

He started sobbing. This is ridiculous. Everything was alright. Nothing had gone wrong. He could cry if they rejected him. He could cry, if everything he feared for became reality. He should not do it now. He had no reason to. 

Finn’s hand on his back and Logan’s on his knees, drawing small circles with his thumbs, grounded him a bit. He tried to focus on his breathing. Leo knew the process. He counted things in his head, took a few more deep breaths and the tears pretty much stopped again. He could feel a hand on his cheek. 

Finn wiped away the wetness there and Leo had to actively hold back the new ones that were threatening to roll down. He inhaled deeply. 

“There you go.”,  came in Finns voice from next to him. “Are you alright, baby?” 

Leo only nodded. He didn’t trust himself with words just yet. He should take a few minutes to calm himself down and then tell them. Bursting into tears in between his words wouldn’t be good for any of them. 

Finn’s hand stopped on his back, feeling the muscles underneath it relax. He slowly got up and went to the kitchen. 

“He’ll just get you some water. Can I do anything else for you, Nutty?”, Logan asked as he also got up to move next to Leo, his hand replacing Finns. 

Leo shook his head. He could feel his throat getting less tight and letting more air through. Maybe even enough to start the conversation, the one he wanted to have for quite a while now. 

He hadn’t practiced. He still had no clue what to say, but he had his boys next to him and his determination had returned. 

Leo downed the glass Finn had brought him. It helped, he was positive, he would get out more than a sentence without crying again. He could do this. 

“So”, he croaked out the same fucking opener he wanted to use less. Now was not the time to try to change his habits. 

“So”, he tried again. Fuck it. “I have something I wanted to talk about with you.” 

Both of his boys looked at him. He felt less nervous now that he had started and was still feeling their hands on his back and knees. He turned a bit to face them both more fully. 

Just start in some way. 

“I don’t want you to call me your boyfriend anymore.” 

And damn. He could have said anything else and it would have been less stupid. He needed to fix this. Logan’s hand was no longer on his back and Finns had simply fallen to the ground next to his feet. He looked over to Logan, who’s eyes were beginning to become shiner than usual. He looked hurt. 

Of course he looked hurt dumbass, you basically told them you want to break up with them. He hit himself mentally for his poor choice of words. 

“Leo, do you not want to be in a relationship with us anymore?”, Finn asked softly, his bottom lip worried between his teeth. 

Seeing both of them this distressed at once seemed to snap him out of his paralysis. 

“No! No, no, no, no, no. I really, really don’t. I would never. You two are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much I meant it differently. I’m sorry.”, Leo had forgotten to take a breath in between. He needed to correct his mistake. He needed them to know how much they meant to him. 

Finn’s expression turned into a more relaxed one, which quickly became confused. “I love you, too. Why don’t you want to be called our boyfriend anymore though?” 

Finn left the question open ended. He provided no potential answers. He didn’t try to guess what was going on, he just asked and Leo was grateful for it. 

He started again. “If I’m going to say this, I need to say it all at once. So until I’m done with the main part, please don’t interrupt me, yeah? I don’t know where this bravery is coming from, but it’s bound to leave at some point. Can you do that?” 

He looked at Finn, who nodded. They both looked over at their boyfriend. Logan was clearly still not over the fact that, Leo almost told them he wanted to end their relationship. A few tears had rolled down his cheeks and Leo moved his hand to wipe them away, tilting his head up so green eyes met blue. 

“Can you listen to me, sweetheart?” 

Another tear rolled down Logan’s face and Leo wiped that one away too. He saw the brunet nodding. 

Okay, here goes ... everything, he thought to himself.

“I’d like you to use they/them pronouns for me, please.”, Leo saw things click behind Finns eyes, but they both knew Leo wasn’t done, so the boys listened as they continued. “I’ve thought about this for a good amount of time and I’m not completely sure how I feel, but I don’t feel like I’m a cis man. I know I’m trans. I figured that out, but I don’t know what label would fit me best yet. I do however know, I’m not a man and I’m not a woman. That’s why I’d like to try out they/them pronouns.”, their stare was fixed on the ground. Leo couldn’t bear to look their boys in the eye. They couldn’t bear a rejection. Curiosity got the better of them though, and dragged their blue eyes slowly off the ground and into brown and green ones.

Leo knew, their eyes must look stressed, nervous or even desperate, but they needed some kind of reaction. 

“If I call you Leo, are you fine with that?”, Logan’s voice came from beside him. Not disgusted or distant, just as loving and considerate as it always was. Hope bloomed in Leo’s chest. 

“Yes.”, they answered the question. “Leo is perfect. It’s gender-neutral and I like it. It makes me feel comfortable. Thank you for asking.” 

This didn’t feel real. Neither Logan nor Finn had moved a muscle in an effort to get up or scream at them or push them away. They were both simply sitting on the couch next to them, listening. 

Finn must have seen the distressed expression on Leo’s face and moved closer, his thigh touching the blonds. At least Leo now knew he couldn’t be that disgusted with them, that he couldn’t even bear to touch them. That wasn’t a lot, but it was a piece of hope Leo didn’t want to let go. 

“Peanut, baby. We love you.”, Logan moved closer to them as well, putting his hand back on Leo’s back, “We love you for you. That will never change. I don’t care what your gender is, the thing I care about is that you are you. That you’re comfortable in your own skin and feel understood and accepted and loved. Unconditionally.” 

Leo was so close to tears again and when one slipped down their cheek, they couldn’t help but let the rest stream down as well. They weren’t sad, but the pure relief they felt was enough to coat their cheeks with tears. 

Logan and Finn knew. Both of them just moved closer and hugged Leo. It was grounding and it actually slowed the sobs down that had started escaping their lips again. Just as Finn pulled back and kissed them on the cheek, Logan whispered in his ear, “Sweetheart, we love you for you, not for your gender. Nothing can change that.”

~~~

The following Monday, there was luckily no practice, so they all slept in. The doorbell was what woke them up at about 9 am. 

Finn grumbled something an got up, kissing them both, Leo on the shoulder and Logan on his cheek, maybe whispering something, but Leo was still to sleepy to care. 

What they did however care about, was Logan getting up as well, leaving them alone in their bed, cold and with no body heat to snuggle into. 

After a few minutes of rolling around, trying to get comfortable again and failing, they reluctantly got up as well. 

“Leo!”, he heard a shout from the main room. 

Answered by Finn in an almost scolding tone. “Let them sleep, Logan. They had a few stressful days.” 

It warmed Leo’s heart to hear them use their pronouns correctly, even after only a day. 

Their boys were in the living room, grinning at them like they knew something Leo didn’t. They probably did. 

Leo was almost in front of them as they pulled out, what had been behind their backs.

Light blue, pink and white was staring back at them. Logan and Finn had bought them a trans pride flag. 

Both of them were beaming and Leo couldn’t help themselves from covering their faces in kisses. They really were loved. 

“We can get another one, if you decide on a label, you like more, but we got you this. You also don’t have to keep it, we just thought you might like it.”, Finn told them.

“And it’s a part of you and as we in this household love all things Leo Knut related, we wanted to have a symbol for that. For you figuring out your feelings.”, Logan added. He got a bit quieter at the end, like he was questioning if they had done the wrong thing. 

Leo’s eyes, their fucking eyes, just didn’t want to give them a break. Tears were starting to form again and they had no way of stopping them. Logan and Finn accepted them. Not only that, they embraced Leo’s gender identity. And they had shown them, just like Eloise and Wyatt had. 

“Thank you.”, Leo got out through their tears, “I love you both so, so much.”

[peggyrose19]

Club Knocked Up

Um. Hello there. It’s been a minute *three months* hush you. But uh, here’s the next chapter of my Waitress AU. If you, like me, have forgotten everything that has already happened, you can find the first two chapters here. I make no promises on regular updates because, as we’ve discovered, I’m shit at those. So, as always, thank you so much for reading, and thank you for your endless patience. Characters belong to @lumosinlove. 

cw: food, pregnancy

Leo waited impatiently at the doctor’s office, a wrapped pie cradled in his lap. It had become a tradition, making a new special pie for his doctor anytime he saw her. This time was no different, despite the very different circumstances. 

He’d made the appointment a week ago. Something in him had known since then what was happening, but he had avoided thinking about it for as long as possible. He’d made the appointment on a whim, lying sick in the bathroom, fighting down another round of nausea, knowing it couldn’t possibly be normal. And so he’d called and booked an appointment with Dr. Perkins, his doctor since he was a baby. 

He didn’t want to be there. Leg bouncing up and down, he stared out the window at the sky, turning pink and orange as the sun set. He sighed. The doctor’s office was better than being at home, he supposed. 

“Leo Knut?” a nurse called, jolting him from his thoughts, and he stood quickly, following her back. Suzie, her name tag read. 

“How are you doing, honey?” she asked absentmindedly, checking something on the clipboard in her hands.

“Fine, thanks,” Leo replied politely. 

“Can you just take those shoes off for me?” she asked as they reached the alcove. Leo did as instructed and went to stand on the scale. He fought the urge to fidget as the nurse read the number and noted the number down in his chart.  

Next, he was ushered into a nearby chair and Suzie secured a blood pressure cuff around his upper arm. She read it quickly and lessened the pressure, slipping the cuff back into the basket it was in. 

“Follow me.” She led him to a nearby room and sat at the computer, typing a few things on the screen. Leo hoisted himself onto the table. As she continued typing, Leo surveyed the walls. Each room, he’d discovered, had different patterns painted on the walls. This one had a checkered pattern, in shades of green and blue. It was a little dizzying. 

“Okay honey, and what brings you in today?” Suzie asked, glancing up at him. 

“Um, well, I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I’d been feeling sick for a few days so uh, my friends made me. So, yeah. Now I’m here.” 

“Oh, well that’s exciting, congratulations!” Suzie said as her fingers clacked on the keys. 

“Thanks.” Leo ducked his head. 

“Alright, the doctor is gonna want to do another test, just to make sure.” Leo nodded absent-mindedly. “And if that also comes back positive, he’ll get you started on some prenatal meds and fill you in on everything you need to know, m’kay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, the doctor will be with you in just a few, so sit tight.” 

Leo offered her a tight smile before she left, the door closing softly behind her. He sighed once it shut, slouching back onto the table. He did not want to be here. 

His mind wandered to the waiting room, with all the expecting mothers looking joyful and excited. He’d felt taunted sitting there earlier, by their smiles and their glow. They were all so happy, those women. They wanted their babies, probably had loving husbands at home, who would be there to support them and take care of them. They were probably loving and kind. 

A knock startled him from his thoughts. 

“Hi, Leo?” A young man said, opening the door. He had a white coat on, and held his hand under the sanitizer before taking a seat at the computer. 

“Hello,” Leo said nervously. He didn’t know this man. 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Lupin. It’s good to meet you.”

“Where’s Dr. Perkins?” 

“Oh, they didn’t tell you?” The doctor looked confused.

“No… tell me what?”

“Dr. Perkins retired. Yeah, just a few weeks ago. I’ve taken over her patients. I’m so sorry, I thought they got in touch with everyone.”

“Oh. It’s okay.” Leo studied the man in front of him, Dr. Lupin. He had sandy brown hair, stray curls falling in his eyes. He looked tall, fit. A thin scar ran from his left eyebrow to the line of his jaw. Leo didn’t want to know how he got that. 

“Alright, well, what seems to be the issue, what’s brought you in today?”

“I’m pregnant,” Leo blurted out, hastily looking away from the scar. 

“Oh?” He looked confused.

“Yeah, I’m uh, I’m trans. I don’t know if that’s marked in my chart, but… I am. Um, so. Yeah, I’m pregnant, according to the test I took this morning.”

“Oh, well congratulations!” Leo must’ve made a face because Dr. Lupin’s smile faded. “Not congratulations?” he corrected slowly. 

Leo sighed. “I don’t want this baby. It wasn’t planned. I- I don’t even know if I can support a child. But I’m keeping it. I’m keeping it and raising it to be a good person.” 

He’d decided on the busride over. He didn’t know if he could even raise a child, didn’t know how he was going to do it. But he also knew he couldn’t abort the baby. 

As a child he���d dreamed of being a parent. Even when he knew he would never be a girl, never be a mother, he knew he wanted to raise a child. He wanted to do for someone what his own mother had done for him. But somehow, somewhere along the way, he’d lost sight of that dream. Earl had ruined it maybe, or maybe life had done that. But it didn’t matter, because he was going to do it, and prove to the world it couldn’t beat him that easily. 

“Okay. Okay. Let’s get started, then.”

Dr. Lupin said a lot of things that Leo didn’t quite follow, about things to avoid and supplements to take. Leo didn’t really plan on taking any of them, didn’t have the money to afford them all. He also kept getting distracted by those slender hands brushing back stray curls. There was something oddly enticing about it. 

“Does that all make sense?” he said finally, and Leo snapped out of his daze. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, it’s all on your record, which you should have access to. And if you ever have any questions, feel free to call.” 

“Okay. Thank you.” 

Dr. Lupin nodded, and smiled.

“Wait!” Leo called out as he made to leave. “I um, I made this for you. Well, for Dr. Perkins. I always brought her a new pie when I came in for a visit. So uh, I guess it’s yours now.” Leo held out the wrapped pie, trying to hide his nerves. Carefully, Dr. Lupin took it. 

“Well that’s awfully kind of you. What flavor is it?”

“I call it Mermaid Marshmallow.”

“Well, thank you very much. I’m sure it’s delicious.” 

It was only once Dr. Lupin’s back had turned did Leo allow himself to smile.

[crossdreamers]

Norwegian librarians refuse to arrange Harry Potter events because of J.K. Rowling’s transphobia

Norwegian public libraries will often arrange special thematic events for both kids and adults. The Norwegian newspaper Aftenposten reports that many Norwegian librarians will no longer arrange so-called «Harry Potter Book Nights».

These three Harry Potter actors –  Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe – have all condemned J.J. Rowling’s transphobia.

There is an active debate among librarians over at Facebook. 

Martha Bjørkås i Sandefjord says that she will give out the Harry Potter books to people who ask for them, but she will not promote the books or initiate Harry Potter events. 

She argues that Rowling has a responsibility as a children’s book author:

“Many trans people find it very hard to see that Rowling continue to get support and that many simply dismiss the problems caused by  what she has said. The least I can do is not to promote these books.”

The librarians Bjørkås and Beck will not promote the Harry Potter books due to Rowling’s attacks on transgender people (photos: private/Aftenposten).

Alternative fantasy books

Library chief Leo Beck in Kvinesdal points out that there are many fantasy books that are LGBT-friendly:

“Many felt that Harry Potter could be seen as an inclusive universe. But then the author ruined that idea.”

He dismisses the idea that Rowling has been “cancelled”:

“The privileged ones are often the ones that makes the most noise. After a year people have often forgotten what they have said and done, so they are not excluded [from the public arena].”

Both Bjørkås and Beck points to Rowling’s transphobic essay from last year.

“She argues as if trans people represent something dangerous that threatens young people and other adults. She has gone too far.”

Knut Hamsun, Roald Dahl and Adolf Hitler

This is not the first time Norwegian librarians have faced such challenges. Many refer to the Nazi sympathies of the famous Norwegian author Knut Hamsun and the antisemitic ideas of the British children’s book author Roald Dahl.

Harry Potter fan and librarian Ragnhild Malfang (sic!!!) of the Lillestrøm libraries says:

“I believe it is possible to display the Harry Potter books together with other fantasy books as portals into other words. We have Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, but we rarely include it in exhibitions unless it is relevant.”

She points to Harry Potter fan fiction and argues that you might dress up as a HP character without expressing support for Rowling’s ideas about transgender people.

The Norwegian librarian community is divided as regards Rowling, but the general consensus seems to be that no librarian can be forced to promote the Harry Potter books.

Harry Potter is not J.K. Rowling

I have binned all the Harry Potter books in our home. Still, I understand that some parents might find it hard to deny their kids access to that universe. 

In that case it might make sense to tell the children that a fictional universe cannot be reduced to the opinions of the author and that it is possible to learn about diversity, compassion and decency from reading the Harry Potter books. 

The problem is that Rowling, due to some irrational bigotry, has forgotten the main message of her own books.This transphobia taints her books by association.

Aftenposten article (in Norwegian behind paywall)

[spookypotato]

French Relations

Kind of to make up for @peggyrose19 ‘s fic.. so have some fluff

Characters by @lumosinlove

Inspired by this quote mix by @violetatapiamills and @half-of-twelve-is-six

The first thing Finn heard in the morning was Logan‘s „Bon martin“ mumbled into his neck accompanied by sleepy kisses to his and Leo‘s skin. Finn loved it really. Those sleepy French words he never minded. Logan was too tired to make sense, so Finn didn‘t feel like he was missing something.

What was driving him mad on the other hand were his French love confessions. They sounded incredibly sweet, but Finn had no idea what was happening. Logan could have been reciting his grocery list and he would have sunken into the kiss that followed, Logan‘s lips against his as sweet as the words he had said seconds before.

But one wasn‘t enough, no. The universe had to give him two incredibly hot lovers– a shame really – that both spoke the language of love – how could the world do this to him. Technically it was all perfect, they just spoke a language, he didn‘t know.

Naturally Finn decided it was time for payback. He couldn’t speak a language they weren’t able to understand, so he had to learn one.

Walking over to his computer, he thought about potential languages he could learn. In his head he went through European ones first. They were a bit closer to English and Finn would not learn a new alphabet for this. Spanish sounded cool. The other two would love it, but there was too strong of a connection. French and Spanish seemed to similar. He went a bit east from Spain and thought about German. That could work. He sat down and typed ‘German love phrases’ into the search bar and was quite quickly supplied with a few websites that looked okay. The first one was written completely in German, or well some language Finn didn’t understand. The second one was more promising, seeing as he could actually understand most of it.

He read through the first part and stopped as a new line started, which was supposedly the German translation of the first sentence “I love you.”. It was the core of any declaration of love so he saw why they had put it first. He pressed the speaker next to it and a female voice said the three words, he read on the screen. “Ich liebe dich.” The translation brought across less love in his eyes. It sounded fine in the lady’s voice, if not a bit squeaky, but when Finn tried to say it himself, he cringed immediately. The second part was okay, but the first part, even in his head sounded less like the soft sound her voice had made, more like a rock hitting the ground to hard. He definitely had to work on that. Luckily the other two were still out, so he had approximately 3 hours to memorise as many phrases as he could.

Finn was pretty proud of himself, when he heard a key in the lock. He’d memorised about 8 sentences and the pronunciation could have been worse in his mind.

Leo walked through the door Logan under their arm, smiling brightly over at Finn. Apparently he was in a good mood, because Logan started talking as soon as they had taken off their coats.

“Bonjour, mon armour. Notre rendez-vous s’est très bien passé. Qu’as-tu fait, poisson ? Tu es bon?”, he tilted his head up and pressed a kiss to Finn’s cheek. Logan knew what he was doing.

Finn answered as Leo walked over to him too, kissing his other cheek. “Willkommen zu Hause, Bärchen.”

Leo and Logan both froze. His boyfriend was the first to talk, “What the fuck just came out of your mouth, Harzy?”

That was the effect Finn had hoped for. It was perfect, until he looked at Leo and saw them, desperately trying to cover up their laughs. Did he sound that ridiculous?

“Finn, Schatz.”, Finn was dumbstruck, gaping at Leo and the words that came out of their mouth,”Du hörst dich süß an, aber warum spricht du deutsch?”

Finn wasn’t really able to comprehend what just happened. He knew a part of the second sentence. It was a compliment he had read on the website mixed in with other words, but why the hell would Leo speak German? Was this a dream? Was this a prank? When Finn didn’t answer Leo’s question, their significant other translated for Finn and a completely frozen Logan. Finn didn’t know if he had even closed his mouth since Finn had started talking.

“Finn, Sweetheart, although you do sound cute, why the hell were you speaking German?”

That’s what broke Logan out of his freeze. “You just had a German conversation with Finn?! Also, why do you know German, Knutty?”

“Not so much a conversation, as he still hasn’t answered me.”, Leo added, “And I learned it in highschool. We were able to take it as an extra subject, so I did for two years.”

Finn cleared his throat. He sounded a bit raspy, “Surprise?”

“Since when?”, Logan asked.

“I wanted payback. You speak French so often and I never understand, so I thought I could have that too, in a way.” The other two started smiling. Finn bumped Leo’s shoulder lightly, “Never expected this one to be so damn smart. There are things you don’t know though, right?”, he turned to Leo, “Because me and Logan went to college and somehow you still outshine us. How dare you.”

Leo snickered, which turned into the same bright laugh from before, only they didn’t try to cover it up this time. In between breaths, they asked Finn, “You leaned German so you could have a language we don’t understand? Why didn’t you just learn French so you do understand us?”

Finn felt a bit stupid. But it was fine. He had his loves. His cheeks slowly turning pink he turned to them and held them tight, face pressed to Leo’s chest. “Next time.”, he mumbled, but they all knew that wouldn’t happen, because although Finn would never say it out loud, he loved both of their French, and he wasn’t really annoyed he couldn’t understand. He kind of like it.