#tried taking some shots of the new facepaints

[artiststarme]

Happy Halloween!

The first Halloween they have after the events of Spring Break is the best Eddie had ever had. He’d always loved Halloween with its mystery and secrets, the hidden horror found in the films, and the candy everyone passed out to the kids. He loved watching the kids of the trailer park dress in their second-hand costumes to pretend to be fairies, princesses, and pirates like he too had once before. But before 1986, he’d always been alone. He would smear makeup on his face and run door to door in the early evening before anyone else was out then he’d saunter home and hide from the bullies outside with a lap full of candy and the small TV screen playing a horror flick. 

Halloween of 1986 though brought a new opportunity. Eddie could put on a mask and cease to be the boy that everyone in the town despised. He would no longer be a “known” killer that mothers pulled their children away from. He wouldn’t be the idiot that flunked out of high school after three tries. He wouldn’t even be the freak that people sneered insults at. That Halloween night, Eddie was able to just be himself with his friends. 

He and Steve weren’t dating at that point, but he could feel they were close. Eddie saw the way his eyes never strayed quite too far away from him and felt how his hands reached for him whenever he turned away. It wasn’t different on Halloween. 

Eddie’s face was covered with black and white paint and his hair was let loose on his back, the curls unruly and full. He was masquerading as a member of KISS, the only metal band that Steve could stomach to listen to for any period of time. Above all though, he wasn’t Eddie Munson. 

Steve dressed as Ferris Bueller wearing a costume eerily similar to Tina’s Halloween Party several years prior and matched with Robin who went as his best friend Cameron Frye. The kids dressed in random costumes that meant little to Eddie beyond recognition that they were having fun. 

The whole Party went door to door in Loch Nora for the full size candy bars then around the Wheeler’s neighborhood for some of what Dustin called, “the cheap shit”. When the night was over and most of the houses were out of candy to pass out, everyone headed back to the Byers’ house for the sleepover of all sleepovers. They carved pumpkins and ate pie, they made pumpkin seeds and cookies, they almost gave Hopper a heart attack when they started a food fight that wrecked the entire dining room (Eddie started it but he’s taking that with him to the grave). 

When the kids were too tired and the girls had retreated to bed, Steve led Eddie out to his car where they watched the stars and smoked some cigarettes. They ate all of Dustin’s candy and traded secrets under the gaze of the brightened moon. Eddie’d long forgotten about his face paint up until the point where Steve’s lips met his in a light kiss that shot electricity through his bones. They kissed and hugged until their noses were cold from the chilly weather and they had no choice but to head back inside. 

It was the best night of Eddie’s life. 

The morning after was not. He woke up with a bruising jolt from Steve’s elbow making contact with his jaw. His stomach hurt from the excessive consumption of sweets and his lungs were tight from the chain smoking. Most of all though, his head hurt from the loud raucous of the kids finding his facepaint all over the lower half of Steve’s face. 

He dealt with the outraged confusion of the kids, the stern ‘talking-to’ (more like screaming match) from Hopper for defiling his adopted son, and even the not so subtle looks from Robin and Nancy. Everything was worth it in the end when Steve carefully wiped off the makeup on Eddie’s face with nimble fingers and gentle swipes until all that was left was some slight staining of skin and his lips meeting Steve’s. 

Halloween of 1986 was the best of many moments to come. It turns out that for Eddie, ‘86 was his year after all. 

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[robo-dino-puppy]

quen navigator

[f0xfordcomma]

re:union (kataang week 2021) DAY SEVEN

prompt: the sea and the sky

re:union

chapter seven: reunions

rating: T

words: 2529

summary: "He had fought hard for this unity. Had spent countless hours in courtrooms and offices arguing with dignitaries and representatives about the benefits of a United Republic. He had spent long nights drafting up documents and looking over contracts. He had dreamed of finally seeing this day, finally seeing this unity. All he could see tonight though, was a yellow flower drifting around the crowded room on an intricately braided head of ochre hair."

read it on ao3

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chapter seven: reunions

By the time Aang had handled Councilman Zhu’s dumpling crisis, he had lost track of Katara.

“She went to get changed for the feast,” a familiar, though deeper than he remembered, voice sounded from behind him.

“Sokka!”

“Hey buddy! It’s good to see you.”

They squeezed each other in a bone-crushing hug. The first one, Aang realized, he had gotten since his return. Aang held on a little harder at the thought.

“Where’s Suki?”

“Getting ready with the rest of the warriors. They are playing a special part in the performance tonight.”

“Wow! I can’t wait to see that!”

“Heh—yeah, me too.” Sokka’s voice went somewhere dreamy. “But, uh, I think it’ll be hard to watch with your head buried in my shoulder like this…”

“Oh right! Sorry… just happy to see you.”

“I missed you too buddy.” Sokka squeezed Aang’s shoulder reassuringly. “Now, you should go get ready! Can’t have the guest of honor stinking up the place tonight.”

“Guest of honor…” Aang grumbled, rolling his eyes in exasperation at Zhu’s exuberance. Still, he broke away from Sokka, giving him a nod as he made his way towards the room’s egress.

“Oh, and Aang?” called Sokka from near the food tables where he was stealing an hor’s d'oeuvre from under a cloche. “She’s not seeing anybody, in case you were wondering.”

Aang stopped still, his ears burned, his head swam. He hadn’t realized how much the question was plaguing him until he had heard it vocalized. She’s still single. There’s still time. He had let her go once, had regretted it every day since. She’s still single. He had no idea if she still wanted him the way he wanted her. But she’s still single. He resolved to try and change that fact by the end of the night.

He opened his mouth to speak but only a low whine came out. He cleared his throat but ended up coughing around the words as he forced them out. “I—is that… is that so?”

“It is.” Sokka snorted.

“That’s uh… thanks Sokka!” Aang shouted in salutation as he rushed out the door, needing to hide his burning blush and, as everyone had insisted, finally get cleaned up.

⬭

He wore a new set of robes. The pants dyed a dark amber with northern saffron. The belt and sash a sunny terra-cotta color that complimented the blue of his tattoos.

He surveyed his face in the mirror, taking in the scruff along his jawline, the tan around his temples, the laugh lines near his lips. He hadn’t spent much time looking at himself over the past few years, hadn’t had a mirror at any of the temples. The only time he would look at his reflection was when shaving his head, and even then, the refraction of the water made it difficult to examine his countenance with any detail.

Aang had never much minded the way that he looked--hadn’t had much use for vanity when living with the monks, hadn’t had much time for insecurity when running from the fire nation, hadn’t had much need for self-consciousness when being loved by Katara--he’d always thought his face was friendly enough, his body was strong enough. Something about looking at himself now though, fully a man, strong and steady and serene in a way that he’d never seen himself before, made his chest swell with confidence.

“I look good, huh buddy?” He directed the question to Momo, who had joined him in his room after an afternoon spent swooping around Cranefish City in search, no doubt, of sweets from strangers.

In reply, the lemur flew over to perch on his shoulder, scratching through the stubble on Aang’s chin with a squawk.

“You really think she’ll like it?” He scratched Momo between the ears and produced a plum from the pocket of his pants.

Momo took the fruit eagerly between his paws and greedily gobbled it down.

“Aw buddy, you flatter me.”

“Well babe,” a feminine voice dripping with thinly veiled amusement sounded from behind him, “it looks like we’ve officially lost him.”

“You’d think so, but he’s been talking to the lemur like that for as long as I’ve known him.”

“So what you’re telling me is, he has always been insane?”

“Pretty much.”

Aang’s face was beet red (he had lost count, at this point, as to how many times this had happened today) as he spun on his heel to face the Firelord and Firelady, who were standing in his doorway in their formal robes and appraising him with mirth-filled expressions.

“Uh, hey guys… how, uh… how long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, long enough, hot stuff.” Mai shot him a wry smile with a raised eyebrow before turning and pecking her husband on the cheek quickly as she took her leave. “I’m going to go make sure the kids are ready. We leave in ten, boys.”

Once Mai was out of earshot, Zuko burst into laughter and walked over to throw an arm around Aang. “Anything you want to talk about there, Aang?”

“Yeah! Why is it that I don’t see any of you for three whole years, and the first thing anyone does is tease me.”

“That’s not true! The first thing I did was put you on babysitting duty.”

“You’re not funny, Zuko.”

“Hey! Now who’s teasing whom?”

Aang scowled. Zuko, trying to school his face into a slightly more serious expression, straightened up and stalked a few paces across the small room.

“I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice because Uncle isn’t here to do it for me.” Zuko pantomimed stroking his beard and affected a strong accent that, ultimately, sounded nothing like Iroh. “Follow your heart.”

“Follow my heart? That’s it? No tea metaphors? No floral imagery? You make a pretty rotten Iroh, Zuko.”

“Hey, I tried.” Zuko shrugged. “I don’t know, man. You’re still in love with Katara, right?”

Aang flushed but nodded his head, eyes fixed on the floor.

“Are you going to do something about it?”

Aang met Zuko’s eyes determinedly and nodded again.

“Good. You’d better.”

“Thanks Zuko.”

“Any time. By the way? I agree with Momo, the beard really suits you.” At that, Zuko strode out of the room, chuckling softly to himself.

⬭

“So, Sugar Queen,” Toph plopped herself on Katara’s bed with a huff, swinging her bare feet up to rest on the adjacent wall so she could still feel what was happening. “You seemed pretty cozy with our Prodigal Son back there. Locked that down yet?”

“Toph!” Katara spluttered, pulling her paintbrush away from her lips.

“That’s a no, then?”

“Wha--no, not a… he just got back! And I don’t even know if… it’s none of your business, anyway.”

“Right, right. So you guys haven’t talked about your feelings, like, at all, yet? What the heck was all that flirting on the beach then?”

“What flirting? We were just hanging out. As friends! Being friendly! We were friends before we were ever anything else, Toph. You know that!”

“Uh huh, uh huh. Good point, Katara. Your definition of ‘friendly’ has always been a little bit off when it comes to Aang…”

“Toph! I will kick you out.”

“No, you won’t. Want to know why?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“You know me so well, Sweetness. And you aren’t going to kick me out because I know you very well and if I’m not here in, oh, seven minutes when you inevitably start second guessing yourself, to give you one of my patented Toph Beifong pep talks, you are going to freak out.”

Katara grumbled something crass under her breath and scowled at Toph’s reflection in the mirror, but ultimately, she knew her friend was right, so she obliged the company while she finished putting on her makeup.

Katara rarely wore makeup. It hadn’t really been a custom among the women in the Southern Water Tribe growing up, and during the war there hadn’t been time to worry over such trivialities. Afterwards, though, she had been the victim of many a makeover by Ty Lee. Had been the guest at many formal galas that required a bit of dressing up. Had been gifted a set of Kyoshi warrior paints by Suki. Had spent an afternoon wandering around the market in Caldera hunting down the exact right shade of lipstick with Mai and learning everything that she could possibly hope to know about knife maintenance.

Aang had always gotten incredibly flustered around her when she wore makeup. That was, perhaps, her favorite part of the process.

It had been years since she had put any makeup on her face. Her face was different now. Her eyes crinkled a bit at the corners when she smiled, her cheeks were less plump, more defined, her lips were fuller—perhaps the lipstick made her lips look too full? Perhaps it wasn’t the same color that she had used that one night in Omashu when Aang had ended up wearing more of it than she had? Perhaps she should wear something pinker? Redder? What had Mai said about skin undertones?

“You look fine.”

“You really think so, Toph?”

“No idea.” Toph deadpanned. “But I’m sure that even if you look like an armadillo-hog, Aang will still forget his own name when he sees you. That is your goal with the facepaint, right?”

“Uh…”

“Of course it is, don’t try to lie to me, Sweetness. Listen, I know two things: that boy’s heartbeat has always only ever been impacted by you, and a lot of other men have also had hammering heartbeats when they talk to you. Wanna know what that tells me? You ain’t ugly. In fact, I assume you’re pretty hot. So, chin up, shoulders back, let’s go get you your man back.”

Katara spluttered and blushed. “Oh… uh, okay.”

“You don’t sound confident yet. You are still in love with him, right?”

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Obviously. Then get your pretty little butt out of here and go do something about it. Chop chop, girly!” Toph, still laying on Katara’s bed, started snapping at her while she squared her shoulders in the mirror and gave herself one more once over, nodding at her reflection and resolving to talk to Aang as soon as she had the chance.

“Right. Okay. I can do this. Thank you, Toph.”

“That’s the spirit.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“Eh, yeah… I told Yugi to meet me here so we can head over together. Or wait… was it Satoru? Toklo? I don’t know, some guy is picking me up. Can’t show up to a stuffy formal function without someone to talk to all the boring people for me, now can I?”

“You do know all of your friends are going to be there tonight, right?”

“I said what I said.”

Katara rolled her eyes as she hurried past Toph and prepared to leave. “Whatever, just lock up when you leave, okay? Mrs. Shao is out tonight so I’m the last one in the house.”

⬭

The ballroom was lavishly decorated. The colors of all four nations draped around the room in every detail. Tapestries hung on the walls with the new seal of Republic City, flanked on either side by the insignias of the four nations. The tables were lined with dishes from across the world. The floral arrangements featured regional blooms from all over. In a ballroom in a government building in a sleepy corner of the Earth Kingdom continent, the entire world was united in one beautiful display.

He had fought hard for this unity. Had spent countless hours in courtrooms and offices arguing with dignitaries and representatives about the benefits of a United Republic. He had spent long nights drafting up documents and looking over contracts. He had dreamed of finally seeing this day, finally seeing this unity. All he could see tonight though, was a yellow flower drifting around the crowded room on an intricately braided head of ochre hair.

From his seat onstage next to Zuko, he watched her make her way around the room hugging and smiling and laughing and chatting. Her sleeveless blue dress was modern but carried traditional nods to her water tribe roots. Her lips were a dark cherry red. Her hair was braided. He had braided it. A yellow flower sat at her crown and winked sunshine at him whenever she turned her head. She was beautiful. Of course, he already knew that. But she was beautiful.

“Aang? Hello… Aang??”

“Huh, what?” Aang was drawn from his stupor when Zuko nudged him with his elbow.

“You’re up.”

“Oh.”

Zhu introduced him. He somehow made a speech. There was roaring applause.  Her eyes were blue, her lips were red, the flower was yellow. She was blushing.

He took his seat next to Zuko. Her eyes were blue . There were performances. Her lips were red . Suki shot finger guns at him in greeting as she and her warriors took the stage. The flower was yellow. Music started up and the gathered crowd dispersed to make way for dancing. She was blushing.

“Excuse me.” He rushed off-stage and into the crowd, chasing a glimpse of yellow in ochre, a swish of blue chiffon. She was pushing her way through the crowd, too. Her eyes were blue. “Katara, I--”

“Dance with me?”

She was offering him a hand. The tsungi horn rang out a familiar song. He took it. “Of course.”

They knew this dance by muscle memory. It was as familiar as their own names, as each other’s name. He flew around her in swirls. She swam around him on waves. They were the sea and the sky and there could not be one without the other. He lifted her, she spun around him. He dipped her, she glowed. She was the sun and he was the moon. She illuminated his sky. He compelled her tides.

The music ended. They were breathing heavy, faces inches apart, hearts still hammering the now silent drum beat.

“Can we go somewhere?”

⬭

The sound of the party flooded the streets of Republic City. Everyone seemed in good spirits, bustling about in a dance as they went about their evening errands. The cicada-crickets sang along to the Tsungi horn. The air was hot, heavy with humidity. They watched the waves from a rooftop. Their hands were intertwined.

Out across the bay, the sea and the sky collided in a canvas of colors. The green and yellow and red and orange of twilight reflected on the water’s dusky blue blue blue. The colors blurred together, obscuring the horizon line, obscuring the separation between their two elements. Out here, there was no sea, no sky. No air, no water. No Aang, no Katara. Just them. Just together. Just finally.

They made promises to each other. They held on. They did not let go.

“Sweetie?”

“Hmm?”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

He had to lean every so slightly down to kiss her.

Her hands in his hands.

Blue. Grey.

Sea. Sky.

Their city had a new name.

They were here.

They were home.

⬭

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It's done! It's done!

So sorry for the delay in posting this! I could've squeezed it out yesterday but didn't feel like doing so would wrap up all the things the way that I wanted to so I needed to take a bit more time on it and, obviously, this chapter grew to be quite a bit larger than the others.

I have had SO MUCH FUN participating in Kataang week this year and hope to do it again next year maybe? Also I /might/ have a little storm brewing for Maiko week so... be on the lookout for that at some point?

The love and support that I've gotten for this fic this week? OH MY GOD like wow it's been so lovely! Thank you all for reading.

And a million thanks to @foxy-knowledgeseeker for being an absolute angel and beta-ing this sucker for me. I'm gonna apologize for my choas just once more. (Sorry! Thank you!)

Bwah! Okay, time for a nap <3

@kataang-week

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

[jilytho]

Never Lose You P2

the second (and final) part of my Jily fic, Never Lose You, totally inspired by Cornelia Street by Taylor! You can find Part 1 right here and read part 2 below, or the whole thing on ao3 here 

By the time they had climbed the three flights of stairs up to their apartment, Sirius dramatically pretending to gasp for air by the top, all the feelings had completely rushed back to her. Despite the time separated, and the awkwardness of their last conversation, she was quickly remembering why James was one of her favorite people in the world. She never could forget that smile, the way his lips were quirked permanently on the edge of laughter or a quick joke. Remembered how he and his friends had their own secret language and world, but made sure their other friends were never excluded. Always with a finger on her back, a wink shot her way.

Marlene and Lily went straight to the kitchen to gather beers and solo cups and some vodka for Alice. They worked as a team, efficient and quick, finding mismatched large mixing bowls to pour some slightly stale tortilla chips in with some salsa.

In the small living room, Alice had quickly put the boys to work, instructing them to scour the apartment for other seating options they could cram into the tiny living room to make a circle around the coffee table. 

Sirius and Remus made quick work of Marlene’s room, grabbing her extra throw blankets and pillows from her bed to toss about the living room floor and give someone something to sit on. Sirius found ‘the armchair’ that Marlene had found in the alley across the street and threw all of the clothes and makeup piled on top of it onto Marlene's bed. He dragged it out into the living room before throwing himself into it sideways, tossing his legs over the arm of it.

Remus, too, tossed out the beanbag chair from Mar’s room and promptly launched himself onto it, claiming it for the night. 

Lily and Mar loaded up the coffee table with their various drinks and snacks. Right as she was about to settle herself on the couch Marlene interrupted her actions, “Lily-love, could you grab a deck of playing cards from your room? Just in case we want to play Kings or something,” Marlene's smirk was met by a chorus of agreement from the boys, so Lily dragged herself into her room. Yanking off her heels as she walked down the hall, she immediately launched them into the corner of her room containing her closet without looking and planned to go right to her bedside table when a deep voice let out a “Bloody Hell Evans!”

Lily promptly shrieked and whipped around, hand over her heart, to spot James clutching one of her heels in the corner of her room, the other laying a foot to the left of him. 

“Watch where you toss these things, Lily! They’ve got spikes!” James huffed indignantly, waving the heel of the shoe at her. 

“In case you hadn’t noticed James,” Lily started, hands immediately finding on her hips, “this is my bloody room! I can throw my shoes wherever I bloody well please! What are you doing in here?” Lily tried to sound angry or annoyed but really it just sounded a bit breathless. Her heart was pounding way too fast and while she’d like to blame the fright he gave her, she figured it actually had much more to do with the boy in her room. And the bed separating them. The big bed. 

James seemed to realize how incriminating it was for him to be just standing there, in her bedroom, where she kept her underthings, clutching her shoe. His hand immediately shot to his hair, a strong blush following it up his neck. “Alice told me to come look for a chair or cushion or erm something. I got a tad distracted by your erm photos and things,” he gestured to the wall of pictures Lily had covering the wall behind her bed. She noticed him looking particularly at one photo in the bottom left corner. A picture of them, all snuggled up laughing. In the photo, Lily was looking ahead towards the camera, eyes closed as she laughed raucously. James, on the other hand, had been staring right at her. Even in the picture, you could see the sparkle in his eyes. 

“Oh of course.” Lily stepped closer to the photos, abandoning her search for the cards. “Makes me happy to see them all when I come back from work. Do you remember this one?” She pointed towards a photo in the dead center, “Right after the championship match before that wild party, right?” James laughed as he leaned closer.

She wouldn’t tell him but it was her favorite picture on the whole wall, showing Lily tightly pulled under James’ arm, smashed in between him and Sirius grinning wildly, red and gold facepaint covering her face while Marlene clung to Sirius’ back mid laugh, waving the championship trophy overhead. 

“That was a great day. Remember when Sirius broke that table trying to do a cartwheel and almost landed in the fire?”

She could have spent the whole night there, reminiscing about their stupid mates and telling new stories as James pointed to picture after picture, asking the stories. She told him all about the photo of her and dad surrounded by alpacas, about the tiny little chubby baby, who she had to assure James that it was not her illegitimate child, but rather Petunia’s new baby boy. “Dudley Dursley, isn’t it horrific? I mean give the boy a chance!” He laughed so hard that he felt his face becoming red and his cheeks hurting as she explained the one of Marlene and her on a boat in Greece, where her skin was painfully bright red because the wind had blown away her floppy hat so she had to spend the rest of the boat ride painfully sunburnt. 

 She hadn’t even noticed that as they spoke and laughed they both moved from standing to sitting on opposite sides of the bed, facing the photos. And then slowly turned to now face each other. Still on opposite sides of the bed, but closer now, much closer. Close enough that she could smell him, feel the way his laugh vibrated. She felt electric being this close to him, and if she had thought it through she undoubtedly would have jumped up and moved further away, but she couldn’t do that when it felt so undeniably natural to be sitting here laughing with him. 

He was in the middle of telling her about the time him and the boys had their own exploits in Greece, including waking up after a long night to find Sirius asleep on the balcony surrounded by 16 cats, when Alice burst into the room.

“Lily, did you get lost? What is taking so long-” Lily and James both shot off of the bed in different directions as Alice walked in and took in the scene before her. 

“Okay then. See you guys out there.” Alice nodded calmly and walked right back out of the room. 

“I guess we should-”

“Yeah, probably.” James had his hand back in his hair ruffling again and started to leave the room. Lily stared after him for a second before clearing her throat and digging through her bedside table for the card deck. Right as she was leaving, she noticed his jacket still around her. She shrugged out of it, folding it lightly but not quite ready to give it back to him. She left it on her bed.

When she reentered the living room, cards in hand, she saw that Peter had stolen her seat on the couch, leaving the only open space being on a pillow, on the ground, next to James. 

He nodded at her awkwardly and took a large gulp from his cup as she lowered herself carefully onto the pillow next to him, careful to keep all of her limbs to her regulated area. 

She reached out for a beer of her own and took a long drink. Marlene tried to catch Lily’s eye but when she only saw the underside of her cup instead, she quickly understood it would be a discussion for later instead. 

“Okay! So! The game is Kings! If you’ve never played-” 

“McKinnon, no!” Sirius interrupted, “I want to play never have I ever!” 

“Sirius, you lose Never Have I Ever every single time. You’ve done everything. Shut up and listen,” James retorted, throwing a chip at Sirius who caught it and ate it. 

“It’s because I’ll try anything once,” he said wolfishly, giving Alice an exaggerated wink. 

As the night went on, the drinks and laughs continued to flow and Lily’s strict personal space slowly shifted as she traveled into the neutral territory between them. But then at some point, James had shifted so he was lying on his stomach, with just his elbows on the pillow and his head in his hands, and Lily had shifted slightly so she was lying sideways now along her pillow and really the easiest place for her feet to rest was on James’s back. And really, when he complained that they smelled and she was infiltrating his space with disgusting feet, the only thing that made any sense to do was to leap on top of his back- “Infiltrate your space? I’ll show you infiltrated!”- and then as she lied there on top of his back, full weight on him, she realized just how poorly of an idea this was. It would have been much worse if he had been facing up because then she’d have to stare at his face, but this was also worse because now she was left with her head practically in his hair and oh my god why does it smell so good? What 20 something year old boy has hair and body that somehow smells like peppermint and cinnamon and delicious? And as if the smell of him wasn’t enough, just from pressing along his back she could feel how hard his body had become. Strong and toned. Gone was any of the former squish teenagers had. This was the body of a man and dear god that was terrifying. 

Right as she was contemplating the least awkward way to remove herself from his person Sirius FLEW on top of her as well, making both James and Lily groan, screaming “DOG-PILE”. Marlene quickly followed Sirius’ lead and soon Lily was completely and utterly trapped, smushed with her face lying straight in James’ delicious peppermint/cinnamon/something combo hair and having her person and front bits all smushed alongside his back. She wondered if he could feel her thundering heart against his back. 

“Sirius, you oaf! Get off of me before I vomit all over you all!” Lily shrieked. James grunted in agreement. 

Eventually, they all climbed off and Lily slowly was able to roll off of James, now lying alongside him, facing the sky while both her and James stretched out the kinks. “Well, that was fun,” James groaned turning his head to look at Lily, who was still staring at the ceiling.

Lily hummed in agreement, refusing to meet his eyes, knowing that they’d be warm and golden hazel and beautiful and be far too much for her to handle after being reminded what he smelled and felt like. 

“Lily?” he questioned quietly, while all the others continued to refill their drinks and settle back in, still laughing at Sirius. 

She gulped and turned her head to meet his eye, surprised at how close they still were, barely two inches between them. She could feel his warm breath on her face and the depth of emotion immediately took her breath away. Hazel eyes filled with warmth but not light, no they were quickly becoming pitch black and full of something else. Lust or passion, heat, something, but whatever it was, Lily was quite sure her eyes matched his. 

She held his gaze evenly, completely tuning out all of the other voices around them, as they lied there, breathing heavily. 

“Lily,” he whispered, voice laden with want and fear. The want part scared her the most and she tore her gaze away from his, to look back up at the ceiling. The ceiling that was now spinning. Oh god. 

She took a deep breath and pulled herself so she was sitting up, James twisting around to do the same, looking at her like he was afraid of her. Like she was a delicate bird that would fly away at the first sign of movement. 

“Lily,” he spoke again, cautiously. She looked at him for a moment, unable to make any words come out before jumping up. “Um, bathroom.” She explained to Mar when they all looked at her in alarm as she stood up. The girls nodded slowly like they understood something else was going on. 

Lily stood there for a moment, taking in the room around her. Peter was now asleep in the corner of the couch, snoring lightly with his mouth open, while Remus seemed to be making a game of trying to throw pieces of chips into his open mouth. Sirius lazed still in his armchair, drink in hand, head hanging off the opposite side of the chair. And James, sweet, good James. Sitting there, watching her desperately.

She turned on her heel and walked in the opposite direction of the bathroom but instead to the small balcony off the kitchen. It was barely big enough to squeeze two little chairs but it was Marlene and Lily’s favorite part of the whole apartment. Coffee or wine on those little chairs were their favorite ways to pass any weekend. 

Now, Lily walked out and leaned up against the railing, looking down at the street below. 

“What are you doing, what are you doing, what are you doing?” she whispered fiercely to herself, running her hands across her face, before pulling at her hair, whipping it quickly into a ponytail. 

She didn’t hear the sound of the door sliding open, but she heard it close, and instantly knew who it would be. Of course he would follow her out here. He always followed her, always knew. How could he still know her like that, after all this time? 

“James,” she whispered. 

“Hey, Lils.” He said it casually, with a kind of lightness that Lily envied. Clearly he was not as affected by her because she knew she couldn’t match that level of lowkey. 

With a deep breath, she turned around to face him and found him leaning against the door, watching her. His posture was casual and calm, but she saw something else in his eyes entirely. Some forced guard hiding the emotions he usually left in plain sight. 

“Why’d you come out here, James?” Despite any attempts at casualness, her voice came out as nothing less than desperate.

“Why did you, Lily?” He sounded like he was trying very hard to not shout the words at her. 

“I don't know,” she looked down, “I don’t know anything anymore. The room was getting hot and uncomfortable, I just needed… air I guess” 

“That’s exactly what you told me you needed that night.” he sounded less angry, more defeated. “You asked me to come get some air with you, that the party was getting too ‘hot, busy, and uncomfortable’ so I took you to the roof to look at the stars.” Now James was the one refusing to meet her eyes. Staring pointedly at something behind her left shoulder. 

“I remember,” she whispered, “James, that night. I am so sorry.” the words were pouring out of her now, desperately trying to escape and explain what she’d been trying to figure out for the past five years. 

“James, you meant so much to me. Mean so much to me. I was just… scared,” she explained pathetically, feeling vulnerable and weak. He searched her face with his eyes and she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. 

“Scared of what, Lily? Me? You know I would never hurt you. You meant everything to me. And I thought we were finally in the same place, finally in a place where we could admit that, without the pressure and expectations of school and then you just, rejected me. Rejected me without an explanation or reason or a backward glance you just… left. You left me alone up there.” There was no anger left in his voice, just hurt and pain. 

She couldn’t stand to see that pain in his eyes, knowing she had caused it. She took a step forward, reaching out an arm to his shoulder and then quickly bringing it back to her side without touching him. 

“You meant everything to me too, James, you did! You still do! I just wasn’t ready. I could handle the pressure at school, but I couldn’t handle that in the world. We were just kids! I wanted you, of course I wanted you, but I didn’t think I could start something when we were just starting out on our own,” she was speaking fast, rushing to make him understand, “I was so scared, James. We were going to be starting new lives and I knew you deserved better than me but I couldn’t take it. I was being stupid. I was stupid and scared and I blamed it on you and I am so sorry James, I would take it all back if I could. I was so stupid” she reached out for him now, gripping one of his hands between both of hers.

“What about after?” he whispered urgently, still looking at her with such intensity. “Why did it take so long and a random run in at a bar to make you tell me this?” 

“I don't know, I assumed you moved on. I thought you might not want to see me, I was just scared and embarrassed that I ever pushed you away. But James, I am so happy I ran into you. I am so happy you came into that dive bar, whatever drew you there. It was inevitable and I am so sorry I ever did anything to stop it.” She reached one of her hands around the back of his head, fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck, keeping his eyes level with hers. She felt her stomach flip as some of the guardedness leaked out, leaving behind so much emotion to show. 

She knew whatever happened, whatever he said, she would never be the same. She couldn’t lose him again, she would never be able to go back to that bar. To look at his picture again. This would be the heartbreak time would never mend. 

“Lily,” he brought the hand not holding hers up to wrap around her neck, thumb caressing her cheek. “If this is going to happen, you need to know that this is for good. I am not letting you walk away again.” He stared into her eyes honestly, looking for any hesitancy. 

“There’s nowhere I’d want to go,” was all Lily could whisper before she pulled his head down and reached up to meet his lips in the middle. 

They kissed softly for half a second before it turned hungry, passionate, strong, and utterly mind robbing. James was quick to switch their positions and hold her up against the door, pressing into her with all of his weight. She pulled him down harder, loving the feel of him against her, the smell of him, the feel of his hair in between her fingers.

He groaned her name out as she pulled at his hair, which she responded to by nipping lightly at his lower lip. He reached an arm around her lower back to pull her in closer, holding her up as he began to travel, down her neck. Kisses punishing and powerful and so James. With him working on her pulse points she was left to pull at his hair and whisper his name heatedly, about to yank his mouth back to hers by his hair-

“Well, well, well,” Sirius yanked the door to the balcony open, “what do we have here?”

James yanked his head away from hers to look at their intruder, but continued to hold her up against him as he shot the finger towards Sirius. Lily hid her red face in James’s shoulder as their friend laughed obnoxiously.

“Marlene, you’ll never guess who is ruining your balcony with their depraved sinfulness,” Sirius called over his shoulder, while James groaned, pushing his nose into Lily’s hair to hide. 

“Guess we’ve run out of time,” Lily whispered into his ear.

“Nah, love,” James pulled away, grabbing his hands in hers and walking them backwards towards the balcony door Sirius had left open. “We’ve got forever.”

They walked back in to loud cheers and whistles from their friends, which quickly woke Peter up and he immediately began to cough up the few tortilla chip bits Remus had successfully thrown at him.

Lily felt embarrassed for half a second before looking up at the extremely fit bloke holding her hand. Suddenly she quite felt like cheering as well. 

[r6shippingdelivery]

I saw the hc asks and your hc page (like! Like! Like!) And was wondering what your hcs are for hobbies. For some OPs it's clear (Glaz does his art thing, what a surprise) but for others, like montagne or rook...? (I also see that Doc doesn't have any time for himself /for a hobby)

Hobbies for all ops and CTUs so far, you say? Sure! Buckle up, this might be long:

FBI

- Ash: According to her savta, shooting things is not a hobby, but Ash disagrees.

- Thermite: He grew up in a ranch and loves riding. He’s also good at chemistry and melting metal, so I propose: Thermites dabbles in forging/smithing stuff when he has enough free time.

- Pulse: He likes doing crossword puzzles and god forbid you try to help him! He’s capable to do it on his own and doesn’t like interferences.

- Castle: He’s a language nerd, studying/reading/practicing new languages is his hobby for sure.

SAS

- Thatcher: Aside from repairing his boat, he also enjoys fishing. Used to do that with his dad & brothers, tries to take the rest of the SAS fishing as a bonding experience. It doesn’t go very well

- Sledge: He knits AND crochets. It’s good for when he needs to de-stress and he’s made scarves for everyone in the base.

- Smoke: Boxing, it helps him focus all his chaotic energy.

- Mute: Flying drones, coming up with new and wild engineering ideas just for fun.

GIGN

- Montagne: He hasn’t had the opportunity to do so since he got in Rainbow, but Montagne loves fish-keeping and working on the perfect balance for his aquarium. It requires dedication and hard work and also patience, and he absolutely would name all the fishes.

- Twitch: Engineering IS her hobby and her life. It’s also part of her work. Twitch is a workaholic.

- Doc: He surely had some hobby, but he can’t remember it, or the last time he had free time for it. Doc is also a workaholic, although one that loves to complain about it.

- Rook: He knits and refuses to let anyone make him feel bad about his hobby. Has some sort of knitting club going with Sledge.

Spetsnaz

- Tachanka: He collects and repairs old weapons. Mostly soviet, but he has some interesting pieces from other countries too. And he dances surprisingly well.

- Kapkan: Hunting, of course, but he also carves wood figures. And gardening too, it’s like spending time in the great outdoors but at a smaller scale.

- Glaz: Quite obviously, painting. He’s an artist, and quite a good one.

- Fuze: He builds new weapon prototypes for fun. And tests them, if he can convince Six of it.

GSG9

- Jäger: Planes. Model planes, repairing old WWI & II planes, you name it. Piloting too, ofc.

- Bandit: If asked he’d say something vague and mildly vulgar, like drinking and fucking. Truth is he has some hobbies from his biker days, but those are playing pool and his beloved bike.

- Blitz: He was and still is an athlete at heart, and Blitz loves running.

- IQ: She likes engineering stuff, but she’s more self-aware and knows she needs to disconnect from time to time. So she turns to books, specially romance novels. If anyone ever makes fun of her for it, she’d break their nose. She and Bandit share and laugh over the occasional bad sex scene, or comment about the good ones.

JTF2

- Buck: He brews his own beer and cider. He ends up convincing Sledge to give it a try too.

- Frost: Sled racing, with dogs. She loves the snow, the survival aspect, and the doggies ofc!

SEAL

- Valkyrie: Swimming and diving, of course! She wanted to be a professional swimmer, but now it’s just a hobby. She still loves water and some people call her a mermaid.

- Blackbeard: He likes driving and going on roadtrips, and if he has to go on his own, then be it. He’ll take his car, whoever else wants to hop along, and drive until he’s sick of it, then stop at the nearest village or city. He loves discovering new places like this.

BOPE

- Capitao: He tried to write his memoirs and instead started planning a different novel, slightly based on some real life events from when he was young.

- Caveira: She loves her facepaints, and in fact is rather good with makeup too. She follows vlogs from body makeup artists and tries some of the concepts when she can.

SAT

- Hibana: Archery, and she’s incredibly good at it! She has won several competitions and proudly displays her trophies.

- Echo: I always imagined he’d be into e-sports and competitive gaming.

GEO

- Jackal: He plays the acoustic guitar/spanish guitar, and sings too. Thanks grain-crain-drain​ for the idea!

- Mira: Fixing cars is second nature to her. She also enjoys ballroom dancing.

SDU

- Ying: She kinda wants to get into racing, but not until she’s sure she won’t have her PTSD triggered during a race.

- Lesion: He has many interests and prefers doing stuff along with other people rather than alone. He goes fishing with Thatcher and whoever else wants to come along, plays chess with Kaid, and does origami with Vigil. And when he wants something more exciting, he knows he can count on Smoke to go wtih him bungee jumping. Thank you catfacedcryptid for helping with the ideas in this one! 💕

GROM

- Zofia: She has a recipe and cooking blog, which somehow turned into a half-personal journal as well, and she never expected it would get so popular. Yes, she includes anecdotes in between the recipes 😂

- Ela: She’s also an artist, although unlike Glaz she prefers digital art over traditional.

707SMB

- Vigil: When he’s stressed he makes origami figures. He has a shelf full of them.

- Dokkaebi: Hacking is her hobby, of course. She also has several social media profiles and is an active member in a couple of hacking forums.

CBRN

- Lion: His rebel years left him with an appreciation for rock music and a dream to be in a group. Lion plays the electric guitar 😄

- Finka: Pushed by her parents from a young age to try different sports, just like her siblings, she eventually discovered a strong love for fencing and ice-skating.

GIS

- Maestro: Cooking, and boxing with Smoke. But mostly cooking.

- Alibi: She’s also a marksman, engages Ash in friendly shooting competitions.

GSUTR

- Clash: She took pottery classes some time ago, and she keeps honing her skills and trying new things.

- Maverick: Photography, mostly nature or candid shots of his fellow operators. I also think he likes horses and riding.

GIGR

- Kaid: Playing chess, he’s a good strategist and it shows. And  while dozing off with a cat on his lap is not a hobby, he also loves that 😂

- Nomad: Traveling and keeping her travel journal, which includes some drawing and scrapbook making.

SASR

- Mozzie: Dirt biking, of course. The more dangerous the jumps and stunts are, the more he likes it. He knows his limits and works to surpass them.

- Gridlock: Robotics. She still wants to compete again in robot championships, just like she and Mozzie did so many years ago. She would consider that fixing cars and vehicles has become more part of her job than a hobby, but still loves it too.

[aka-willow]

Come Down

gif

Words: 1822

Characters: Willow Wren, Jessica Jones

Prompt/Tag: “Did I do something illegal? You bet I did! Was it fun though? Hell yeah!” x / @anti-solidcoffee​

Summary: Willow pulls off a dangerous stunt and pays the consequences

Song: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Elton John, Jamie Bell, Taron Egarton

—————————————————————————–

I arrive at the scene of the incident just as police are, rolling up in a motorcade of blue and red lights. Okay, okay, what’s going on, what’s the scene, etcetera etcetera.

Two guys are bleeding out in the middle of the street, traffic is stopped, and cars have parked haphazardly around the scene. On my right, there’s a jewelry store with smashed windows. And then I spot two men stepping out of the busted-up store, and I hear the metallic click of a safety being turned off.

Oh, this could get messy really quickly.

Most people have gotten the hint to run, but others are still standing too close, phones out, recording.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I say and duck behind a closed newsstand. I pull my hood over my head, but my face is still visible. In my backpack, I find a pair of large sunglasses and white facepaint from school spirit day last week. “Fuck,” I say, and pop open the tube, smearing streaks of paint on my face before putting the sunglasses on. “Clown nation let’s rise.” It doesn’t cover my whole face but just obscures the rest of my features. That will have to do.

I step out from behind the newsstand and through my dimmed vision from the sunglasses, spot the men making a break for a car parked on the corner. It’s on the other side of the interaction from the police, and across from a two-building construction site.

Now, I know what you think I’m going to do. Stop, those robbers, right?

But, nah. The police have that under control.

What I’m more concerned about now that I’m here are all the police cars that are unattended as the police jump out of the vehicles and hit the ground, running towards the suspects. Oh, hell yeah.

As the action moves to the other side of the street, I make a break for the police cars and slide into the passenger seat of the first cruiser I see left open. I don’t have a lot of time, and this is a rare opportunity, so I move fast. I pull a flash drive from my backpack and stick it into the laptop in the seat next to mine. Already, the flash drive is installing a keylogger on the computer, so hopefully I can nab some credentials and really start hunting through police reports.

Five. Four. Just a few more seconds. Three. Two.

“I’m on it!”

I look up and see a cop running back to the cruisers. My cruiser.

“Shit,” I say, and yank the flash drive out. My arm hits up against a knob and the sirens of the car flare up. “Shit!”

I jump out of the car, and immediately, the cop spots me. “Hey!” he yells. Over where the two robbers were, the police have already subdued the pair, and attention is now being drawn back to me. Other cops look up when they hear the siren, and suddenly, I have about ten different officers staring me down. Well, that was the worst plan I’ve had today.

“Hands in the air, step away from the car!”

In a panic, I put my hands up near my head, palms out, but I’m shaking, and a new, older energy is taking over my body. One that I haven’t felt since the Facility. The wind in the intersection starts to pick up and I feel it swirling around my hands—my fingers tingling with adrenaline. With a burst of energy, I propel the wind from the palms of my hands.

There’s a crack and the roar of wind, followed by a force field extending out from where I stand, blowing away everything in my radius, razing the sidewalk clean.

Someone screams, the cops lose their footing, and I heave a breath, turning towards the skyscraper under construction. I’m cornered here. The only way to go is up.

The wind continues to howl and rip through the street and I sprint for the doors of the tower.

“Stop!”

“She has a weapon!”

It’s no longer about the robbers. It’s about me. The mutant running wild in Midtown.

My hands close around the door handle just as a shot rings out behind me. I feel burning pain, right in the bicep of my left arm, just missing my left wing. Those bastards shot me!

Boot steps, the shuffling of feet, chaos behind me. I open the door and limp inside, towards the elevator. C’mon, Willow. Like the doctors always said. Mind over matter. Mind over matter.

The elevator is taking too long, I head for the stairs, the pain in my arm refusing to subside. You just got SHOT. How do you plan to get out of this one? There’s a BULLET in you.

The stairs are a blur, I don’t remember climbing them at all, but suddenly I’m on the roof, with nowhere else to go. I can still hear the murmuring below on the street, and as I step closer to the ledge, a crowd begins to form. More police have joined the fray below.

I shut my eyes and focus on the voices below. Jessica? Is that Jessica? The voice is too mumbled to know for sure. I hear footsteps on the flights of stairs below me and I know my time is running out. There’s a steel beam that runs from the top of this skyscraper to the top of the other. The other side is not an option, though, because I hear police in that building, too.

Just as the door on the roof access door is busted open, I step out onto the beam. My arms are outstretched for balance and I carefully place one sneakered foot in front of the other.

“Stop!” one of the cops yells behind me, a woman. “You’re going to get hurt.”

Below me, I hear more sirens. Fire trucks. Let’s hear it for the boys in yellow!

I take another step onto the beam. And another. I’m out of arm’s reach now. The door on the other roof flies open and a few police officers flood out there as well. I take another step forward on the beam. Someone screams down on the street.

“Come on back!” a cop yells. “Kid—”

But I’m out of options. I stand, now, in the center of the beam, directly between the two buildings. Cops on both sides. I know what I need to do, and I don’t like it one bit.

My heart threatens to hammer out of my chest, and I turn to face the crowd below, feet planted next to each other on the beam.

Arms still outstretched, I let myself fall forward.

The screams—they’re everywhere. The ground. The police on the roof. The sirens. The wind roars in my ears and the lights around me blur.

No going back now.

I unfurl my wings and they snap me out of freefall, sending me shooting across the intersection and upward, up, up, up. The voices change below—more screams— and I rise again, the wing gathering under my wings, my lungs sipping in the cool air as my brain still tries to play catch up. The moon is out tonight, and its light guides me as I sail on streams of air towards freedom, leaving chaos behind me.

—————————————————————————–

As I continue to fly, now out by Hell’s Kitchen, I realize I need to stop. My bullet wound is really starting to hurt now that the adrenaline is starting to wear off. I lost the police and crowds when I cut through some clouds, and now I fly alone.

I still have my backpack on, and I remember that I have Jessica’s files in there. I guess I should stop while I’m here.

Mind over matter. Finish this and then get home. Have Marty help you get the bullet out.

I land on her apartment building’s roof. My smeared facepaint is still on and I pull a bottle of water out of my backpack to wash it off. After checking in my phone’s screen to make sure I got it all, I take the stairs down to her floor. It’s quiet tonight, no Malcolm in the hallway, not even an argument from the upstairs neighbor. I lift up my hoodie and see that I’ve bled through my tee-shirt underneath. Oh, well isn’t that just the cherry on top?

I knock and hear several footsteps before the door is yanked open.

“Hi,” I say, not waiting on a greeting I know won’t come. I’m in a lot of pain and I realize I shouldn’t have tried to cram this errand in. “I have police reports. A bunch. Pulled the interesting ones like you said.”

She takes the file from my hand and leafs through it. “Nice work.”

A wave of dizziness hits me and I feel my body sway a little. I steady myself and lean against the wall. I need to get that bullet out so I can heal and stop the bleeding.

“New door,” I say, nodding at it. “Looks g—” Another stab of pain hits, and my face grows flushed. I’m sweating bullets now.

“What?” Jessica looks up from my notes. “You okay? You look like shit.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I just… need to sit…” My knees give out and I collapse towards the floor, just as Jessica reaches out to steady me.

“Jesus,” she says. “What happened to you?” She helps me inside and shuts her apartment door. I lay my burning arms on her cool floor and wipe sweat from my forehead.

I don’t have enough energy to look, and I point towards my shoulder. “Got shot. Is it bad?”

“You got shot?” She drops the file in her hand and races to where I am on the floor.

“Was I doing something illegal?” I say as best I can. “You bet I was. Was it fun though? Hell yeah. Mostly.”

“This isn’t a joke, Willow!” She helps me pull the neck down on my baggy sweatshirt and get my left arm out to reveal a Pangea of blood on the left shoulder of my white tee-shirt. “Oh my God.”

“Can you—can you help me get the bullet out?” I ask.

“Are you serious? You need a doctor!”

“I can’t go to the hospital. Please. I’d do it myself, but I can’t reach.”

Jessica heaves a shaky sigh. “Where is it?”

“Follow the blood.”

She peels back my blood-soaked tee-shirt. “I see the hole.” Without any warning, she digs her fingers and yanks out the bullet.

I try not to, but I cry out and my wings shake involuntarily. I’m trying not to think about the consequences of everything that happened tonight.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I got it,” says Jessica. “You need to—”

“I’m a fast healer,” I say, straining on each word, before passing out on her floor.

[zrtranscripts]

Season 8, Mission 7: My Name Is Mud

Stuck On You

~

[boat engine hums, seawater splashes]

SHONA: Nearly there now.

PAULA COHEN: Oh, thank God. I never knew I got seasick until I came to the Far Hebrides. Is it possible the sea moves in a different way out here?

JANINE DE LUCA: That would be absurd, Dr. Cohen.

PAULA COHEN: Tell that to my stomach. How are you feeling, Janine? Still a good day?

JANINE DE LUCA: I appear to be experiencing another remission day, yes. As there is no correlation between remission and energy exertion, it is sensible for me to use my good days for operational responsibilities. I've already been through all the latest reports from Abel. Things appear to be running as smoothly as they can in my absence, although the sealine infestation of red fungus has grown more troubling. Several fishing ports have been closed. So you see, Dr. Cohen, I have matters well in hand. I don't even feel seasick.

SHONA: We'll be on the beach in no time.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: If we dinnae sink before we get there.

JANINE DE LUCA: Chief Macallan, there was no need for you to accompany us. In fact, we would have preferred it if you hadn't. None of us have forgotten that you killed Miss Maxted. Your presence is somewhat distracting.

SAM YAO: Janine, it was an accident, and he said he was sorry a lot. Ellie... Ellie wouldn't want us to bear a grudge. I know she wouldn't.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Don't worry yourself, lad. Nothing I say can make up for what I did. But I came for a reason, not just to force you all to stare at my ugly mug.

SHONA: The chief usually leads these expeditions, you see. It's for the folk on Dearg Island. Lord knows why, but there's this mud they like us to send them. They give us a whole year's worth of medical supplies in exchange. I got a message from them this morning saying they've run out and asking us if we can bring more.

PAULA COHEN: It's mud they want?

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Strange silvery stuff. Warriors used it for facepaint back in the day. It's hard to find, but hail like we had last night often brings it up.

JANINE DE LUCA: And you believe that if we supply the scientists of Dearg Island with this silver mud, they may be willing to open a communication channel with us in exchange?

SHONA: Well, aye. Tom, your brother, said your... you know, condition is getting worse. We thought Dearg might be able to help. Thought it was worth a go.

PAULA COHEN: We're here. Five, can you give me a hand out of the boat?

[water splashes]

DUNCAN MACALLAN: We usually find the stuff by that great rotting tree stump.

SHONA: But it's never visible for long. We'll have to hurry. Let's go!

~

[mud squelches]

PAULA COHEN: Oh God! I suppose it makes sense to search for special mud in the middle of a huge mud flat, but did it have to be so muddy?

DUNCAN MACALLAN: I want you to know we've changed our zombie hunting protocol since you came to the island. There's a warning shot first before we... before we go further.

PAULA COHEN: Shoot for the head, you mean?

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Aye. I won't say sorry again. It'd be for my sake, not yours, asking for forgiveness. And I've no right to expect it. My Phyllis used to tell me sorry's what you do, not what you say.

SAM YAO: Was uh, Phyllis your wife?

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Lost her to cancer just before Z-Day. She always was the best part of me. [sighs] Oh, look. Some of the silver mud just to the right of us!

SHONA; Five, take this bucket and see if you can dig it up before it sinks out of sight. Run!

~

[shovel squelches through mud]

JANINE DE LUCA: Nicely done, Five. There are a good few centiliters of silver mud mixed in with the rest in that bucket.

PAULA COHEN: It's strange stuff. Looks like quicksilver. Did the scientists tell you what it is, Shona?

SHONA: They don't say much. Don't say anything, actually. All the contact we have with them is electronic. Has been since the apocalypse.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: A group from [?] Island tried to go and talk to them in person. Not a one of them came home. Folks like to think those scientists are working on a cure for the virus. I'm not so sure. People with nothing to hide aren't so shy about visitors.

SHONA: They've definitely got some high-level tech there. A couple of years ago we had an outbreak of malaria C and they got us a vaccine quick as you like!

PAULA COHEN: Look! I can see some more silver mud moving over there. So weird. It almost looks like it's forming itself in a finger.

JANINE DE LUCA: That's because it is a finger, Dr. Cohen. And now an arm.

[zombies moan]

DUNCAN MACALLAN: It's a zombie! It's pulling itself out of the mud.

PAULA COHEN: Not just one. Look over there. And there as well! Oh, they're dripping with mud and strips of torn flesh. They must have been rotting down there for years.

SHONA: Maybe the hail woke them up.

JANINE DE LUCA: Well, they've certainly woken up hungry. The other side of that ridge appears clear. Run!

~

[zombies moan, footsteps squelch]

SAM YAO: Guys, those zoms are catching up with you. And new ones keep popping up every few seconds like some sort of horrible whack-a-mole.

SHONA: Whenever I set my feet down, I expect a hand to grab my ankle!

PAULA COHEN: It's like running in a nightmare. My boots are caked in mud! It feels as if I've got lead weights on them.

[gunshots]

JANINE DE LUCA: Nice clean headshots, Five, but your ammo will be depleted before the zombies are. Where did they all come from? You informed me this island was deserted!

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Must be the poor souls caught in the mudslide here a year or two back. We couldn't get to them in time, so we left them be.

SHONA: Over there! That wee hill with the huge great rocks scattered over it. The message from the scientists said to check there especially for silver mud.

PAULA COHEN: We won't have time to collect it with all these zoms on our tail.

SHONA: But the ground looks more solid there. Should make for easier running.

JANINE DE LUCA: We should return to the boat before the zoms cut off our escape route.

PAULA COHEN: Shona, do you think we've collected enough silver mud to satisfy the scientists?

SHONA: Probably not, no. They usually ask for a full bucketload.

PAULA COHEN: Then we carry on. Janine, this may be our only chance. With all these zoms, we can't risk coming back. Look, Tom didn't want to say, but if Jones doesn't have the nanite control box anymore, our only chance is that the scientists on Dearg Island can give us another one. If we're going to help you, we need them to trust us.

JANINE DE LUCA: That's why we're here? Not for general medical supplies but for the control box? More lives at risk for my health!

PAULA COHEN: Yes. Sorry. You're just going to have to accept that we care about you! Now let's get over to that wee hill covered in rocks. Run!

~

JANINE DE LUCA: I don't like this terrain. The rocks are sufficiently high to block our view of approaching hostiles and too low for us to climb and use as a vantage point.

SAM YAO: Well, luckily, zoms aren't heavily into tactical maneuvers. Or at least, the normal ones aren't. They've just kept on heading straight for you, and thanks to the solid ground, you've opened up a gap between you and them.

SHONA: There's no more coming out of the ground, either. Too shingly for them, I expect.

PAULA COHEN: Too shingly for mud, as well. Five, can you see any? It looks like nothing but rock to me.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: I have to say, Shona, this isn't an area I've ever had much luck with collection before. Are you sure you read that message from the scientists right?

SHONA: Let me take another look. [paper rustles] Yeah, no, it definitely says rock cluster on the northeast corner of the island, which is where we are.

PAULA COHEN: Huh. But it also spells igneous with two G's and uh, titration with – [laughs] Actually, more wrong letters than right ones. Are you sure this is from the scientists, Shona?

SHONA: Who else would it be from? Although now you mention it, they usually get in touch in the spring.

JANINE DE LUCA: I don't feel terribly well. [collapses]

PAULA COHEN: Janine?

SAM YAO: What happened?

SHONA: She collapsed.

[JANINE DE LUCA shouts]

PAULA COHEN: Janine! Janine, tell me where it hurts.

JANINE DE LUCA: My legs. They're... I don't think I can move them. It's never been this bad before, or this sudden. [shouts]

SAM YAO: Guys, could this be Jones? I mean, the nanite control box doesn't just turn the nanites off, does it? It can also turn them up.

PAULA COHEN: We need to get out of here now. If we go around the shore, we should be able to make it back to the boat just before the zoms reach us. Janine, can you run? Or walk?

JANINE DE LUCA: No. The zombies are closing in. You'll have to leave me.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Nonsense. These old shoulders are stronger than they look. Runner Five, sling one of her arms over your shoulder and I'll take the other. We'll get you out of here.

JANINE DE LUCA: I really don't think you should -

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Sorry's what you do, not what you say! Come on, Five. Let's go!

~

SAM YAO: You made it, guys! You reached the boat.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Give me a hand lifting Janine in, Five.

JANINE DE LUCA: That's quite enough fussing over me. The zoms are just behind us. You must start the engine and go.

[boat engine rumbles]

PAULA COHEN: And we're off.

SAM YAO: Janine, how are you feeling?

JANINE DE LUCA: Better. Thank you, Mr. Yao. Some feeling has returned to my legs, although they're still weak.

SHONA: So Jones does have the nanite control box after all. He must have set this whole thing up just to get back at Janine.

PAULA COHEN: Payback for wrecking his base, probably.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: What exactly is this nanite control box you're all on about?

JANINE DE LUCA: Chief, if you don't mind, it's a matter we prefer to keep confidential.

DUNCAN MACALLAN: Of course. I'll ask no more.

SHONA: If the message wasn't from Dearg, they don't want more silver mud now, so they won't talk to us.

PAULA COHEN: Then we're going to have to find another way to help Janine. Jones has shown he knows how to use the... the device to hurt you, Janine. If he ever gets close to you again -

JANINE DE LUCA: He could finish me off. I'm aware, Dr. Cohen. And no doubt what he did today has shaved a few more days off my limited life expectancy.

SAM YAO: If we can't catch Jones, then we need to find a way to get those scientists to talk to us.

PAULA COHEN: They killed the last bunch of people who tried to go there uninvited. But I agree. We all do. Whatever it takes, Janine. We're not going to watch you die.

~

[billys-hard-grove]

Coulrophilia- when someone is sexually aroused by clowns. Seems pretty weird to me.

It was Max’s birthday. Neil agreed to let her throw a little backyard BBQ, but of course the bastard had better things to do and Billy was stuck supervising a bunch of preteens. He was flipping burgers for them and downing a can of cheap beer when the little shits errupted in a fit of laughter.

‘Can you please calm the fu-,’ he started, annoyed at the fucking noise they were making, but the words got stuck in his throat when he saw the reason for their laughter. 

Steve Harrington had arrived. 

In a fucking clown costume. 

Fuck.

The colours of his suit were faded and the facepaint was applied messily, but with the wig and the ridiculous shoes, the costume didn’t look half bad. And not only the costume. Billy couldn’t take his eyes off of him. 

He was incredibly aroused. He always had a thing for clowns, but he never thought it would haunt him like this. He felt himself chubbing up in his jeans and it was only when he heard one of the kids scream something about burning patties when he was shaken out of his trance. 

Billy quickly turned around, but not before catching Steve’s confused gaze. 

He cursed loudly as he threw away the blackened meat and put on new burgers, red in the face and almost completely hard now. 

Steve was a terrible clown. Apparently he had lost a bet with the chief and had to put on a show for the kids. He did genuinely try though and was happy to be laughed at when he failed at the balloon animals and almost every other bit.

If Billy had been more lucid, he would have found it endearing. But as it was, his brain was fogged with lust and he had to actively stop himself from palming his cock in front of the kids. 

He was keeping his distance from the festivities, he was nursing a beer from his spot at the back porch and was staring intently at the boy. His fantasies were running wild and he imagined those red lips around his cock, that big red nose pressing into the blond curls surrounding it.

Fuck, he was so hard and the nervous and annoyed glances Steve kept shooting him didn’t help a bit for his situation.

It wasn’t long after his little show that the clown came stomping up to him.

‘What the fuck is your problem, Hargrove?’ Steve sounded pissed, but the big smile painted on his face didn’t help his message come across. ‘It’s Max’s birthday and you’re sitting here looking like you’re about to go on a murderous rampage.’

Billy swallowed down a moan when he saw Steve tap his big floppy shoe impatiently. The flower in his breastpocket kept spinning and fuck, Billy couldn’t take it anymore. 

He grabbed Steve by the collar of his brightly coloured suit and dragged him inside the house. Ignoring his protests and the way he almost stumbled, he shoved him inside his own room and quickly locked the door and closed the blinds.

Before Steve could ask what the fuck was going on, Billy slammed him up against the wall and was kissing him hard.

Steve froze. 

Billy didn’t move or try to deepen the kiss; he actually looked pained in the way his eyes were screwed shut. But his whole body was pressed against Steve and he could feel what was clearly his erection hot against his thigh.

When Billy finally broke the kiss, he visibly deflated. His grip on Steve’s suit loosened and his shoulders fell. He hid his face in Steve’s neck and was breathing heavily.

‘Fuck… Harrington,’ he sounded absolutely wrecked. 

It made something within Steve snap.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was pressing back. He curled a hand into Billy’s hair, lifting his head up before crashing their mouths together, earning him a broken moan from the younger boy.

Steve rubbed his crotch into Billy’s and was surprised to find how hard he was as well. They rutted into each other and shared messy kisses and open-mouthed moans when he felt Billy’s hands fumble with his pants. The boy pecked him on his lips one last time before dropping to his knees and putting his mouth on his cock. 

‘Fuck. Fuck, Hargrove!’ he threw his head back and nearly screamed when Billy swallowed him whole.

He was already so close and Billy was working magic with that tongue of his, swirling around the head of his cock and pressing underneath his shaft. 

It was too much.

‘Billy, I- Fuck, I’m gonna…’ Steve tried to warn him, but when he looked down he saw Billy’s face, smeared with his red and white facepaint. The sight of it was enough to push Steve over the edge and his orgasm washed over him. 

His knees almost buckled as he came hard, watching through half-lidded eyes as thick lines of cum shot out over Billy’s face. Some of it caught his hair, but most landed on his cheeks and lips. It was fucking filthy and Steve moaned weakly when Billy’s tongue darted out to catch some of his cum.

Billy stroked him through the aftershocks and Steve fell back against the wall, completely spent. 

‘Shit, Hargrove…’ Steve was still catching his breath. ‘You want me to…’ he motioned vaguely.

‘Nah, I already…’ Billy voice was hoarse and when Steve glanced down he saw Billy’s cock hang out of his jeans and cum staining the carpet. 

He whimpered at the sight.

[xluckytheninjax]

Tumblr’s messing with quality,and since I scanned ‘em,seems like some of the parts are too light to show up.

Anyway,here’s what I’ve been drawing for the past two weeks between studying and writing exams.Because of the new South Park games {The Fractured but Whole and Phone Destroyer} I got obsessed with South Park again.So,have two pages of stuff I drew of my New kid in the games.His name is Max Chaos.One of my OCs with the most backstory.Decided on playing as him in Stick of Truth,and yep.I can’t draw humans to save my ass,but they don’t look as bad.Because I can’t really draw humans,I can’t draw kids,so,you’ll see they look older...whatever.I used some pose references for basically all of these.Without references,I’d be lost.

I decided I’m gonna post his bio with the drawings,because why not?

A short ramble behind every scribble and Max’s bio is under the cut {Otherwise this is gonna get too long}

If you’re still reading,howdy!

Here’s a description or whatever of each scribble.

1 {First page,left at the top} - This is what Max looked like when he and his family first moved to South Park.He has quite a bunch of scars,the most noticible being the slash through his eye,the ones on his hands {Thanks printer for making that unseeable} and the one that looks like an ‘x’ on the back of his neck {Can’t be seen at this angle}.

2 {The one next to the first one,one with the hoodie} - Max is known for liking oversized hoodies and shirts.The one he likes most being the one he’s wearing in the drawing.Black and grey,with a white ‘13′ on the front,and on the back ,’Chaos’ and another big ‘13′.

3 {The two side views.One is half drawn} - Originally,his costume for FBW/playing superheroes had a little mask thing {The right side-view}.Then I drew him with skeleton facepaint with shorter hair...and it looked cooler.So,the story is that,with his parents fighting,his dad commented that his hair is getting too long,and he got a haircut.It was all fien and dandy.Then during counselling with Craig ‘n Tweek during FBW,where they had to fight the therapy kids,one of the kids took the mask.He says that the skeleton facepaint fits his costume and the shorter hair better anyway.

4 {The one at the top right corner} - This is what Max looked like at the end of Stick of Truth.As King Douchebag,he wears a crown,and a poncho with the crab chestplate underneath,and his weapons? Crossbow,katana and Greataxe of the Warrior,even if he was a mage. During the events of SoT,he got some more scars and stuff from messing with fire and fireworks,and ended up with a black eye.

5 {Under the two side views} - “This here town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”

I play Phone Destroyer,made Max again.Now with the cowboy outfit that everyone starts out with,just with feathers.

6 {Under the first picture on the left} - I just drew Max’s eyes and mouth.This would be after SoT and during FBW.That’s it....

7 {Bottom left corner} - The last of the real ones/Capes

The reason for the first name comes from something Kenny says as Mysterion while walking to the police station at the beginning of ‘The thin white line’.Listening FOB after watching the episode lead to me naming the sketch after the song.The reason for the other name ‘Capes’,is because both of them are facing away,showing off their capes.I altered the Mysterion costume a liiiitle bit and gave Max a costume that isn’t in the game,more a personal design. Here we can see the ‘x’ scar on his neck.

8 {At the bottom,middle} - I have no explanation for this.Just a space filler I guess.

9 {Bottom right corner} - Counselling

“After this,I think Max is gonna need counselling”

One of my favorite missions in FBW,is fixing Craig and Tweek’s relationship.I screwed up with the mask thing,as you can tell.This would be an anguement before fighting the therapy kids.Altered Craig’s costume because I can.I could’ve drawn better,but eh,whatever.

The next page!

10 {Bottom left corner} - “Just a crazy,patched up Matryoshka”

I found a Matryoshka music video with the South Park characters,then this happened.I tried writing Matryoshka in Japanese in the speech bubble,but I feel like I screwed that up.I took Max in SP,and gave him the facepaint I gave him in a picture of him I drew a long time ago.Changed his jacket from the original.He also wears a snapback,flipped backwards....forgot to add that.

11 {Top right corner} - “I don’t see how this saves us time m’lord.”

I already posted about this one here

12 {Bottom right corner} - It was then that he started questioning a lot of things.

or

“Let’s get that blood cleaned up..”

“No.”

“We’re gonna clean those damn wounds.”

“No.”

“Do these eyes look like they’re gonna take no for an answer.”

“…..No.”

“Exactly.”

“Y’know,being taller than me makes it more intimidating…”

or

“…That’s some real Twenty one pilots bs you got going on there,New kid.”

“… That was what I was going for.”

Probably my favorite drawing so far.You can guess who’s my favorite superhero.It’s Mysterion.I could’ve said Professor Chaos,but he isn’t a hero.It’s between them and Toolshed.

Wanted to draw a bigger version of Max with the facepaint to show off some detail...then this happened.He decided to not paint over his eye scar,nor his lip scar.He did paint over his black eye though.One can see the ‘x’ scar,and a little part of a scar on his hand.

Now forrr his bio,because I can.I am evil enough to make this post even longer.I’m bored too,so yeah.

A profile on the New Kid --------

Full name:

Maximus Winston Chaos

Nicknames:

Max,Chaos,and the names given to him by the others - New kid, Douchebag, Dovahkiin,Buttlord,Butthole,etc

Gamer tag:

ChaoticDestroyer

Gender:

Born male,identifies as male

Age:

10 {although that's not the case in my art but shh}

Nationality:

American

Parents: Although the names of the parents in the games are Kelly and Chris {I think?} ,I changed it for the sake of originality I guess?

Sebastian Thomas Chaos

Cierra Chaos

Pets:

He has a husky mix named Hunter

Sexual orientation:

Pansexual

Personality:

At first glance,Max looks like your typical tough,I-have-no-feelings-or-emotions guy,but is actually a big clumsy teddy bear.He's extremely quiet,even if he doesn't mean to be. Because of his gift,his family moves around a lot.Every time he gets brainwashed,leaving him without any memories of past friends,or making them.He gets forced to keep quiet,and that lead to him to be almost completely mute.Slowly he's talking again.But he only talks to certain people.His friends,but not his parents.He can be stubborn and sarcastic,but he can also be sweet and witty. He's innocent,that's how it seems at first,but trust me,he's not so innocent.A charmer.Very protective,cares a lot for all his friends,not afraid to start a fight. If he sees one of his buds are colder than usual,he will literally give them the hoodie he's wearing,then he trusts that they'll return it.Except Cartman.He dislikes him.Likes puns.

An undercover emo.

Single/Taken:

"I don't have a crush on anyone in paticular."

"That's a lie.You told me in the bathroom during the superhe- "

"Not now Wendy."

He doesn't have memory of previous relationships.He is banned from having romantic relationships.Doesn't keep him from having a crush though.

Star sign:

Cancer

Race:

White

Birthday:

3rd of July

Alignment:

Lawful

Hair color:

His hair is so light,it looks white

He dyes it for special occasions.As an example,he has dyed his hair candy corn colors for Halloween,and pastel pink for Valentines day.

Eye color:

One would think his eye color is red.

Height:

He's pretty tall in comparison to the others

Piercings/tattoos:

Both his ears are pierced,no tattoos

Scars:

When he first moved to South Park,he had only a slash going through his left eye and some other random scars from different things.After the events of Stick of Truth,he's stuck with a black eye he got during the attack on Clyde and a few more scratches and burns.During the events of the Fractured but Whole,he's got a slash through the right side of his mouth and a few more.Almost broke his arm.

More random facts:

-He has insomnia because of horrible nightmares.If he can't sleep,he climbs out the window onto the roof,where he built himself a little platform.He usually sits there watching the drunkasses below with a hoodie and a blanket.

-His favorite animal is a grizzly bear

-He talks in his sleep,if he gets sleep

-He has a fear of clowns,thunder and lightning.While he enjoys a nice calm day with rain and a little thunder,if the thunder gets worse he gets scared.He will never admit that though.

-Has a thing for facepaint

-He loves drinking ice tea,and Fanta

-He sleeps in a too big t-shirt,it's white with some purple,and a giant 13 on the front and back,and plaid pants

-He doesn't swear out loud,unless you anger him or if he's in costume {More specifically,Mutt}

-He has little drawings all over his journal

-The smell of alcohol disgusts him

-Not a bad singer

-Likes camping

-Has gotten stitches on his back after playing rugby.This was before they moved to South Park.

-Loves to climb trees

-He is right handed,but,has the ability to write with his left hand too

-Has never been to the beach

-Still has a probe up his ass

-Still has some gnome dust hidden in his drawer in case of emergency

-Very clumsy {gets him in lots of amusi- I mean embarrassing situations}

-He's very protective over the ones he loves,so,if he fights a guy,takes hits for you or if he gives you his hoodie,know he cares

-Likes spooky scary skeletons

-Has fallen off the back of a truck (don't worry,it wasn't moving)

-Has gotten lost in a corn field (don't ask how or why)

-Favorite food is tacos

-Genius

-Not a bad shot with a bow and crossbow,but prefers melee weapons like swords,spears and such

-His class during the wizard and humans vs elves thing (Stick of Truth) was mage.He likes messing with fire and fireworks.

-He ditched Cartman the moment Kyle asked him to join the elves instead.While he likes Butters and Kenny,Cartman's too bossy for his liking.Kyle is much cooler and he likes hanging with Stan and Jimmy.

-His classes before Doctor Timothy allowed him to have every class during the superhero thing (Fractured but whole) were Blaster - Elementalist - Assassin - Plantmancer

-When they played pirates,he was a navigator and scout

-While they were acting out a zombie apocalypse,he was a group leader

-He has two superhero personalities During missions with the others,he is Chaos Destroyer.He based it off his gamer tag,which is ChaoticDestroyer.He wears skeleton facepaint,a dark red cloak,black shirt underneath with a blood red skull n crossbones,a tool belt (with daggers,fireworks,the works),and dark grey pants,with black combat boots.

One night he took on a wolf like persona because there wasn't time to get into normal costume {It was on a special mission,with literally only one of the guys}.While this one doesn't have an official name,he was called quite a few...some obviously worse than others.He refers to the persona as Mutt.He wears his PJs,his wolf hat,a dark hoodie,claw like slippers,fingerless gloves and his dog's spiked collar.He then uses his apocalypse ready baseball bat,and his flip knife as weapons.He's a little more open to express his opinion as this persona. "I'm gonna break your fcking skull and snap your neck." "I got called a furry.Like bitch,do I look like Cartman to you?"

-His kryptonite is math.Math scares him {and me}

-If he was a companion,his SoT moves would consist mostly of fire related attacks.He would have the ability to heal too.His FbW moves depend on persona.As CD,his normal moves would consist of one heal/protection move,one ranged move and one close combat move...all which I'm unsure about.Ultimate would have a similarity to Kyle's one move from SoT.An army of skeletons firing arrows on command at a big part of the board. As Mutt,his moves consist of melee based attacks and one protection/heal.One with his baseball bat {knockback},one with his knife {causes bleeding}.His heal/protection would make him switch places with another player.His ultimate....I don't know.Will probably only have an effect on one enemy.

-Both personas have comments on everything.Because of skeleton like appearance,CD likes using skeleton related puns.As an example. "I've got a bone to pick with you assholes." "You don't even have the guts to take me on." {Winning a battle} "Looks like these freaks didn't have the spine/backbone to take us on." {Going down in battle} "Tibia honest,I was getting bone tired anyway."

Mutt on the other hand...has no puns,only sarcasm,and normal commentary...If his pals go down,he'll have a nicer choice of words to say to them...and still some angry words to the enemies,'specially the ones hitting his pals.Maybe a threat or two and growling. "I'm ready to kick some ass and take names." "You okay there? No? ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES DID IT?!" "Who wants me to knock their ass out with my bat?!"

I’ll probably add more stuff as it comes to mind.

[wallpaperpainting]

The Worst Advices We’ve Heard For Leopard Face Paint | Leopard Face Paint

Thursday, June 4th: Artisan Grant Hacking

The adept ignment of apple acclaimed beastly artist.

Updated: 11:19 AM EDT Jun 5, 2020

Hide Transcript Show Transcript

EVER SEE UP CLOSE. ♪ AUDREY: GRANT HACKING SHARES HIS LOVE OF THE NATURAL WORLD THROUGH HIS ARTWORK. GRANT: I GRAVITATED TOWARD WILDLIFE. SOMETHING ABOUT SEEING AN ANIMAL THAT IS REALLY STIRS YOUR EMOTIONS. AUDREY: GRANTS OIL PAINTINGS ARE REFLECTIVE OF HIS UPBRINGING IN NORTHERN SOUTH AFRICA. HE GREW UP NEAR THE BORDER OF ZIMBABWE. GRANT: WILDLIFE WAS AMAZING. I WAS LUCKY AS A CHILD. ♪ BOTH MY PARENTS WERE ARTISTS. I GREW UP IN A HOUSEHOLD OF PAINTERS. MY MOM AND DAD MET IN ART SCHOOL. AUDREY: FROM GRADE SCHOOL TO A STINT IN THE MILITARY, GRANT PAINTED CONSTANTLY. NEVER EVEN TOOK IN OUR CLASS. GRANT: I WOUND UP IN THE ARMY AND THEY HAD ME PAINTING EVERYTHING. I HAVE ALWAYS PAINTED. I HAVE TRIED REAL JOBS BUT I FIND MYSELF BACK AT THE EASEL. I LIKE THIS, I SHOULD JUST KEEP DOING IT. AUDREY: GRANT MOVED TO THE U.S. AT AGE 22, EVENTUALLY LANDING IN NORTH CONWAY WHERE HE LIVES WITH HIS DAUGHTERS. HE CAUGHT UP WITH GRANT VIRTUALLY AT HIS HOME IN NORTH CONWAY. GRANT: THERE PAINTINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE — THERE ARE PAINTINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE. I TRIP OVER MY ART SOMETIMES. AUDREY: PAINTINGS THAT REFLECT THE BEAUTY AND THE WILD WONDERS OF HIS HOMELAND. ♪ AND ON THE WALL, HIS FAVORITE, A PAINTING CLOSE TO HIS HEART, HIS CAP. A SELF DESCRIBED CAP FREAK, GRANT LOVES CATS OF ALL SIZES. GRANT: LEOPARDS ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL. SOMETHING ABOUT A LEOPARD, THEY ARE ONE OF THE MOST NUMEROUS CATS IN AFRICA BUT YOU DON’T SEE THEM

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[dabbledrabbleprose]

One Last Shot

A mission goes badly and Hanzo is forced to take desperate action to save himself and McCree. The initial concept of Dragons Through Peacekeeper inspired by a couple of different fanart pieces sprawling through Tumblr, but mostly this one by @scatterarrow and obvious credit to @maonethedwarf for the original concept. 

Read on AO3.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

McCree wasn’t sure exactly when the mission went full FUBAR, but he suspected it was around the point that Los Muertos dropped a piñata full of grenades right into the middle of their formation, scattering the team and throwing off any sense of coordination or plan. The communicator in his ear was buzzing with multiple voices as they tried to coordinate grouping back up amid the chaos Los Muertos was causing, and McCree felt that it wasn’t doing much except to add to the confusion. Overwatch wasn’t even targeting Los Muertos this time, damn it all. This was supposed to be a quiet midnight infiltration mission into LumériCo, and they’d had the bad luck of bumping into the gang before they even got to the building.

“Fall back!” McCree shouted into the com, breaking off the other voices. He emptied Peacekeeper’s rounds into the chests of three thugs who tried to corner him in the side street he was on. “Fall back, dammit! Mission’s a bust. We’ve caused too much of a stir to try and infiltrate anything anywhere. Pull back to the transport and let’s get the hell out of here!”

A green-painted teenager lunged out from around a corner, swinging a baseball bat at McCree’s head. McCree tucked down into a roll, out of the way of the bat and behind the kid, hastily reloading before he sprang to his feet, gun at the ready. Goddamn, how old was this kid? Sixteen? Fifteen? Was this how McCree looked to Reyes when Overwatch plucked him out of Deadlock? So young, and already making so many bad decisions. How was he supposed to put a bullet through this kid? He dodged another swing of the bat. Maybe he was getting old and sentimental. When he was a teenager, he’d been lethal as the gun at his side, and he’d killed plenty before Reyes had straightened him out and gotten him to point his gun in a better direction.

The kid lunged at him again, cursing more colorfully than his body paint. McCree caught the bat with his metal arm, using the artificial limb’s unnatural strength to jerk it out of the kid’s hands.

“You’ll thank me for this later, kid,” he promised, then hit the kid in the head with his own bat, knocking him cold. Hell, he really was getting sentimental.

“Status report!” He barked, sprinting away from the kid and down the street, trying to pinpoint where the lingering spurts of gunfire were coming from.

“Almost to the transport, luv!” Tracer chirped in his ear. “I’ll have her warmed up and ready to fly the second you all get back!”

“I’ve got Genji with me, and we’re still in the thick of it,” reported Lucio, who was brought along due to his surprisingly experienced history of breaking into mega-corporations.

“But we are pushing through them!” Genji added, and the grin was evident in the cyborg’s voice. “They are no match for our speed and agility, and we will soon leave them in the dust!”

“Can’t stop, won’t stop!” cheered Lucio, accompanied by the sound of his hardlight blades grinding against something. A wall, probably.

“Hah!” Genji and Lucio shouted at the same time. Good God. Whatever they were doing, it was synchronized.

“You two better not be wasting your time showing off, because none of us are there to appreciate it. Anyone who gets shot doing a stupid stunt has to save their own ass because I’m not coming back for ya. Pretty sure that’s a policy or somethin’,” McCree grumbled as he ran down a street that seemed thankfully empty of gang members.

“I’m pretty sure that policy was put into place because of something you did, McCree,” Genji replied. “Never fear, we’ll escape responsible and sensibly.” He probably said it while doing a backflip or something stupid.

“Hanzo, status report.”

Three breaths passed in silence. McCree frowned, finally getting off the side streets and jogging down the main road.

“Hanzo?”

“I have been followed to the rooftops,” Hanzo snapped into the coms, voice sharp and between panting breaths. “My bowstring has been cut, and they have-”

An explosion interrupted him, and McCree had the disorienting sensation of hearing it roar through both the com in his ear and from the rooftops ahead of him.

“I see you, Han, backup’s on the way! I’m about two blocks south of you,” McCree kicked his run into a sprint, spurs jangling with each step.

“There is a fire escape on the west side of the building. I will be-” Hanzo was interrupted by a second explosion, and degenerated into a string of expletives, only some of which were in English.

Orange stucco and a burning roof greeted him as McCree sprinted toward the building Hanzo was fighting on. As he watched, Hanzo leapt off the roof and onto the fire escape with a clang of metal. He hastily scrambled down the steel stairs and platforms when a hurled metal sphere followed him off the roof, clattering to the platform beside him.

“Hanzo!” McCree shouted, heart catching in his throat. “Grenade!”

Hanzo didn’t hesitate, putting one foot on the railing of the fire escape and launching himself forward, leaping into empty air to put as much distance between himself and the grenade as possible. His arms pinwheeled in the air as he seemed to float, suspended over nothing, until the grenade detonated with enough force to destroy the fire escape and still send Hanzo hurling forward head over heels.

Oh God. He was going to break his neck. Hanzo was going to land on his head and die right in front of him, and there was nothing McCree could do about it. Heart pounding, McCree watched as Hanzo twisted in the air like a cat, as if in slow motion, managing to right himself enough to get his legs underneath him before he landed. There was an unmistakable crack that echoed through McCree’s ears as Hanzo landed hard, then promptly crumpled to the ground as his left leg gave out.

“Hanzo!”

Hanzo was sitting up before McCree finished sprinting toward him, grimacing in pain and pulling the broken string off Storm Bow.

“Hanzo, are you alright?” McCree skidded to a stop before him.

“I suspect my leg is broken, but we have no time for that now. Cover me while I restring her,” the archer ordered, fishing a new coiled bowstring out of a pouch on his quiver and setting Storm Bow before him.

McCree fired off a series of rounds at the rooftop and reloaded, but no Los Muertos came within sight, likely finding a different way off the roof. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to find a group of gang members rushing toward him, following down the street he’d come from. A bullet tore past him, tearing a hole in his serape. Six shots, one reload, and six bodies fell to the ground, with more on the way. There was a roar of an engine and a truck with Los Muertos paint tags and a machine gun mounted on the cab started tearing down the street toward them. Another six shots, another reload, and McCree started backing up toward Hanzo.

“How’re you coming there, sugar?”

“Another few moments,” Hanzo said, not looking up from his work.

A gunner with blue facepaint clambered out of the bed of the truck and took hold of the mounted gun, taking aim as the truck tore down the street toward them.

“Time’s up, darlin’! We gotta move!” McCree turned on his heel and scooped Hanzo up, ignoring the archer’s vehement cursing as he dropped the new bowstring. Without any decorum, he threw him over his left shoulder, metal arm holding him in place and leaving his gun hand free, and sprinted for the backstreets, hoping they would be too narrow for the truck to follow. He ran through the backstreets and alleyways, twisting and weaving, hoping to throw off the Los Muertos following them, but quickly wound up lost himself.

“McCree, Hanzo, status report!” Tracer’s bright voice chirped in their ears. “Transport is up and ready to go, everyone’s here but you!”

“We are en route,” Hanzo replied sharply, neglecting to mention his injuries or that he was slung over McCree’s back like a sack of potatoes. “Expect our arrival shortly. No, turn left!” He slapped the sharpshooter on the back. “You’re going to get us lost!”

“Well, I’m glad you know where we are because I don’t have a clue, honey,” McCree turned left, skidding a little on the gravel in the alleyway.

“Of course not, that’s why you have me here. Straight. Right. The sea looks like it’s still to our left and the LumériCo pyramid is behind us, so we need to keep headed downhill.”

“I don’t know how you can tell all that in these back alleys,” McCree panted. “But I trust you. Just tell me where to go and I’ll get us there. Trying to-” He broke off as a massive yellow-painted thug came charging toward them. Muscle memory took over and McCree let go of Hanzo just long enough to fan the hammer and reload as the thug fell to the ground.

“Hell. I shouldn’t have done that. That’s my last reload,” He sighed, readjusting his grip on Hanzo. “As I was saying, I’m trying to keep off the main roads. If we run into that truck, we’ll be sitting ducks.”

“I know that. Left. And watch where you’re putting your hand!”

McCree honestly hadn’t been able to tell where his prosthetic hand was holding Hanzo, but a quick glance showed that he was gripping him right across his well-muscled rear.

“Aw, Hanzo,” McCree grinned as he took the left turn. “You don’t seem to mind any other time I cop a feel.”

“There is a time and a place,” he growled, grimacing as McCree made a particularly sharp turn, jostling Hanzo’s injured leg. “And this is neither the time nor the place. Across this street! We’re close!”

McCree sprinted across the major road to slip into a different series of narrow side streets. “Now that just ain’t true. It’s always a good time to compliment-”

The blow came out of nowhere, a blade in the gut as a teenager with green face paint and a bruised temple lunged forward from the shadows, sinking a knife between the plates of McCree’s body armor. McCree stumbled, his momentum throwing him forward and sending himself and Hanzo sprawling to the ground. He let out a shout as the kid yanked the knife out from his side.

The kid sneered, twirling the knife in his hand. He was still sneering when McCree put a bullet between his eyes.

“Goddamn,” McCree growled, sitting up with a grimace. He looked at the kid’s cooling body, the ghost of a sneer still on his face. So young. So much potential. Son of a bitch. “Hell. He tried to come at me earlier. Wanted to give the kid a chance and knocked him out instead. No good deed, am I right?” He tried to get to his feet without success, falling back onto his rear with his legs sprawled out before him.

“Jesse, lie still! You’re bleeding!”

McCree felt strong hands press against his injury and a shout of pain tore itself unbidden from his throat.

“McCree is down and I am incapacitated! We require immediate extraction!”

“Sh-shit…” McCree tried to wave him off, despite Hanzo’s protests. “Help me up…They’re still coming, and I got five shots left. M-might buy us enough time for the t-team to…”

“Dammit, Jesse! Lie still!”

A Los Muertos member appeared at the end of the alleyway and shouted up the street. “Over here! I found-” His shout was cut short as McCree sent a bullet tearing through his jaw and he dropped to the ground, screaming and clutching at the gore and teeth that used to be his face.

“Shit,” McCree swore. “Missed. Now that’s gonna draw more of ‘em in. Help me up!”

Hanzo began muttering in Japanese under his breath, and though McCree couldn’t understand the words, he suspected they were all uncomplimentary and all directed at himself. Reluctantly, Hanzo helped McCree sit up, letting the sharpshooter lean back against himself and kept one hand pressed against McCree’s wound, trying to stem the bleeding.

“Four shots left. Gonna make ‘em count. Gonna keep you safe. I promise, darlin’.”

As McCree suspected, a crowd of Los Muertos appeared at the end of the alleyway, some armed with guns, most carrying knives and clubs. He needed to take out the shooters first to buy them more time. He aimed for the closest thug with a semiautomatic, putting a bullet through his eye.

“Three.”

Another went through the heart of a shirtless brute with a pistol.

“Two.”

The next bullet dropped a skinny bald man aiming a shotgun, but did nothing to slow the advance of the growing number of Los Muertos thugs approaching them.

“One shot left, huckleberry,” McCree grimaced. From the end of the alley, he could hear the truck drive up and screech to a halt. “I wish it could be enough. I wish I’d been able to do right by you.” He felt a lump form in his throat. There’d been a time in his life that he could have looked death in the face without fear, without consequences, like a fool. But now that he had a reason to live, it broke his heart that he had to go like this. The fact that Hanzo would die with him only made it worse. He wasn’t even able to protect the one man he cared for the most.

He took aim, wanting to give Hanzo every last second he could.

“It’s been a real treat, Hanzo. The absolute best.” The hoard of gangsters surged toward them, weapons at the ready, crammed into the narrow alley. McCree furiously blinked back tears. He wouldn’t show weakness to his enemy. Not now, here at the end. “I wouldn’t trade it for all the world.” His voice only trembled a little.

Hanzo’s tattooed left arm reached over to close around McCree’s right hand, clutching Peacekeeper with him. His grip was warm and wet, fingers slick with McCree’s own blood.

“You won’t have to. Not today, Love,” Hanzo whispered in his ear. The tattooed arm in front of him began to glow and luminous shapes shifted against the skin, writhing and unfurling into existence. The glow continued, wrapping around his own hand, coiling around Peacekeeper, seeping through the  chamber and barrel, and there was a force, and presence, an incredible power that pressed against his mind from all sides, hungering, waiting for something, and the pressure only grew and grew, closing around him, WAITING, it was ready, they were ready, if only McCree would-

Fire.

“Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau!”

They pulled Peacemaker’s trigger together.

McCree had never been struck by lightning, but he imagined it would be something like this. Incomprehensible power tore through him, starting where their hands met, ripping through his soul, and exiting through Peacekeeper’s barrel. He could feel twin minds pressed against his own, their touch strange and alien against his soul, their silent, cold judgement evaluating him as they passed through him, and then they were gone, tearing through the alleyway with a roar that deafened him.

When he could see again, the alley was empty apart from scattered weapons. The truck at the end of the street had been tipped on its side. McCree knew better than to ask where everyone had gone.

“How…how…” Peacekeeper slipped from his trembling fingers and he sank back against Hanzo. “Holy shit…they’re real…”

“Be still, Jesse. You’re still bleeding.” Hanzo’s hands were back on his chest again, putting pressure on his wound. McCree made a sound that he hoped sounded more like a growl and less like a whimper as he tried to push past the pain.

“Thought they were hardlight projections. Or a nanite swarm with a fancy light show,” No injury in the world could stop McCree from trying to run his mouth, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop now, not when his head was spinning from the Dragons. At least, he hoped that was why his head was spinning. “Never once thought they were god-be-damned real life dragons.”

“Jesse, be still!” Hanzo scolded.

“Goddamn. Real dragons,” His mouth tried to keep rambling, but it was getting harder to breathe. He shifted in Hanzo’s grip and found himself lying flat on the ground, staring up at the night sky above. “H-hey…do they got names? They always hanging around you, or do you gotta call ‘em down from some magic-ass land?”

“Dammit, Jesse!” Hanzo was kneeling over him, both hands pressing on his wound. “Stop it! Stop talking, hold still!”

“Sorry, darlin’,” McCree managed a smile up at him, trying to make it look comforting and not strained. The panic in Hanzo’s eyes didn’t provide much reassurance that he succeeded. “You know me. Mouth like an eight digit outlaw. Always running. …To be honest, I thought I was gonna pass out sooner than this. Not quite sure what to do.”

“You hold still,” Hanzo replied sharply. “You let me try and stop this bleeding. We wait for backup to arrive so we can get you to a medical facility.”

McCree promptly ignored everything Hanzo said as a sudden realization hit him. “Aw…aw, hell. You broke your leg, didn’t you? Are you hurtin’?”

“Jesse…” Hanzo made an exasperated noise. “I am fine. My leg is fine.”

“I know that ain’t true,” he had meant to shout the words, but instead they came out as a hoarse croak with a crack at the end. “I b-been carrying ya the past-” he overdid it and was forced to break off mid-sentence with a gasp as his lungs screamed for air that somehow seemed to be in short supply, then broke into a coughing fit, which did nothing to help.

“Alright, alright,” Hanzo’s voice softened as McCree’s coughing ceased. “Yes, my leg hurts. A great deal, in fact. But I am not the one bleeding out. Please…save some worry for yourself. Let me take care of you.”

The plea in Hanzo’s voice was finally enough to force McCree to relax under his hands, and he didn’t have the heart to argue with the distressed look on the archer’s face. He was also running out of energy to put up a fight.

“Sorry, Han…” He sank back onto the dirty alley pavement, staring up at the star-strewn sky. It was becoming harder to breathe, each breath accompanied by a sharp pain, and he began to feel light-headed. Hanzo finally cursed and wrestled the serape from McCree’s neck, balling it up and pressing it against his wound. McCree grunted as the extra pressure brought on a fresh wave of pain, but liked to think that he hid it rather well.

He tried to look down at himself and felt a wave of dizziness and nausea wash over him, instead letting his head fall back to the pavement with a solid ‘thunk.’ Hold up. His hat was gone. When had he lost his hat? He tried to look around, but with as much success as he’d had trying to look down at himself. Stupid idea. Need to lay still. Figure out how bad he was hurt.

“How’s it look?” McCree asked.

Hanzo didn’t immediately answer and didn’t meet McCree’s eye.

“Give it to me straight, darlin’,” His heart felt like it was fluttering in his chest and his breath was growing quick and shallow. “I need to know.”

“I can’t get the bleeding to stop,” Hanzo admitted. “And you’re bruising badly, which leads me to believe you are bleeding internally as well.”

McCree took a moment to let that sink in. “Well…the team, they’re comin’, right?” The com in his ear had been awfully quiet, which worried him. Oh. No, he couldn’t feel it in his ear anymore. His communicator had fallen out at some point. Probably when he lost his hat. He blamed the dragons.

“Yes, they’re coming,” Hanzo said. “How are you feeling, Jesse?”

“Been trying not to think about it.”

“Please. I need to know.”

McCree almost smiled as his own words were thrown back at him, then stopped to actually evaluate how he was feeling. “…Not great. That whole spot you got your hands on is a world o’hurt. I’m…I’m dizzy. Cold.”

He felt a lump rise in his throat. He’d seen these symptoms before. He knew what was happening. Dammit. Why hadn’t he just passed out earlier? How long would he have to cling on, delaying the inevitable? “…I’m…scared.”

He met Hanzo’s eyes, and he could see that same fear reflected back at him.

“Not how I wanted to go out, Han. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that!” Hanzo snapped. “Don’t you dare give up on me. The team is coming.”

“Gonna be too little too late, honeybee,” His vision started to swim, Hanzo’s face going blurry on a backdrop of starlight. “Let me have this…Let me go with some dignity.”

“Jesse…” The way Hanzo said his name broke McCree’s heart.

“You gotta…you gotta bury me with my hat, okay? I love that hat,” McCree felt an arm slide under his shoulders, and he didn’t have the strength to lift his head to hold Hanzo’s gaze. The edges of his vision started going dark.

“Jesse, no…”

“I wanted…” his voice cracked. “…I love you, Hanzo. I’m sorry.”

The darkness closed in around him. The last thing he felt was Hanzo’s lips against his own.

This was okay, as far as dying went. This was good.

There were worse places to die than in the arms of Hanzo Shimada.

 *****

 It was a solid ten minutes before McCree realized the light he was staring at belonged to a light fixture in the ceiling instead of a bright light at the end of a tunnel. He blinked slowly and turned his head, trying to get his bearings. Something pulled at his nose as he turned, plastic tubes going up both nostrils, and as he confusedly reached up to touch his face he felt something else tugging at his right arm.

“H…huh?”

“Jesse?”

McCree tried to look toward the sound of his name and tug at the tube up his nose at the same time and ended up smacking himself in the face with his metal hand.

“Dammit!”

“Jesse!”

“Hanzo?” The smack to face woke McCree up like a splash of cold water and he blinked owlishly at Hanzo. They were in what McCree recognized as the medical ward at Watchpoint Gibraltar, a hospital room with the Overwatch logo emblazoned on the back wall. He was in in one of the many beds with an IV line connected to the back of his right hand, oxygen nasal cannula feeding up his nose, and a variety of sensors from monitoring equipment vanishing under his hospital gown. Hanzo was seated in the bed beside his, wearing shorts and a tank top, a book in his hands and his injured leg in a splint. A biotic emitter sat between them, engulfing the room in a faint yellow glow.

“Jesse, how do you feel?” Hanzo set his book aside and leaned toward McCree, though he was careful not to move his splinted leg.

“What…Uh…I feel…groggy.”

“Are you painful?”

“Um…” McCree paused, thinking about the question. “No. Not really. What…what happened? How are we…why are we here? And how am I…” he trailed off before he could finish the words, but Hanzo supplied them for him.

“…Alive?”

McCree nodded.

“Lena drove the entire transport to our location and arrived shortly after you blacked out. Lucio was able to get some blood in you and get you mostly stabilized, and then we were able to bribe the closest hospital into admitting you without keeping any records of you, and they were able to take you to surgery to repair the damage that had been done. Dr. Ziegler flew in and was able to assist in the operation. She had some very unkind things to say about your liver.”

McCree frowned. “What’s wrong with my liver?”

“A lifetime of drinking. Also it had been stabbed.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Indeed. I did not get stabbed.”

“Hah hah. Hilarious.”

“After the procedure, we flew you back here as soon as you were stable enough to transport, before someone could figure out who you were and how much your bounty is still worth.”

“You couldn’t wait for me to wake up first?”

Hanzo shook his head. “As soon as Dr. Ziegler said you were safe to move, we flew out with you.”

“How long have I been out?” McCree fiddled with his IV line and poked at one of the sensors taped to his skin, already getting antsy about them, wanting to be out of the uncomfortably sterile infirmary and back in his own room. And a smoke. God, he needed a smoke.

“Three days.”

“Holy shit.” Oh yeah. He definitely needed a cigarillo. McCree was almost tempted to ask for one, but he didn’t want to think about what Angela would do to him if he dared to smoke in her infirmary. He tried to think of something to distract himself.

“So…those dragons…”

“I was wondering when you would bring that up.” Hanzo sat back in his bed, folding his thick arms, his intricate tattoo on display.

“They’re dragons. Real, honest-to-goodness dragons.”

“They are spirits, tied to my family and tied to me. That’s probably the easiest way to describe them.”

“Tied to your family?” A thought struck him. “So, when Genji does that thing with his sword…”

“Yes. Another dragon,” Hanzo gave him a level look. “I’m a little surprised. I would have thought he would have already discussed this with you.”

McCree shrugged. “Genji was always pretty good at not talking about anything he didn’t wanna talk about. He was a mite cagey about himself back in Blackwatch. Sure he’d be fine with it now, though. Subject just never came up. …So…uh. These spirit dragons. They always with you?”

“To an extent. I can call upon them when needed, and they usually answer.”

“But they’re not…like…” McCree struggled for a way to explain what he was thinking without being obvious. “…always aware of you?”

Hanzo gave him a sideways look. “What are you trying to say, Jessie?” Damn. He knew him too well. Hanzo could always call him on his bullshit.

“I’m just thinking about the number of times I’ve run my tongue down that tattoo,” McCree said. “Didn’t want to offend nobody.”

Hanzo gave him a look and had the audacity to actually turn red. What the hell was he blushing for? He asked, didn’t he?

“I’m just sayin’,” he continued when Hanzo didn’t seem to be forthcoming with an answer. “I ain’t much of an exhibitionist. I’d like to know how many people…er…spirits are watching every time we-”

“No!” Hanzo interrupted. “No, they do not…They are not…no. They don’t…watch. They are not a constant presence in my mind. No.”

“That’s a relief,” McCree grinned. “I may be into a few things, but I ain’t much one for having an audience.”

Hanzo snorted. “That surprises me, what with how eager you are to show your affection at every moment.”

“Naw, that’s different,” McCree said hastily. “A little PDA never hurt anyone. Can’t seem to help myself around you, sugar. I know, I know…you’d prefer to keep everything private…”

“Oh? Is that what you think?” Hanzo asked, and there was just enough of a tease in his voice to give McCree pause.

“…Sugarplum?”

“Were I not under strict orders to not put any weight on this leg, I would have been in that bed with you the moment you awoke, putting my tongue down your throat, audience or not.”

McCree gave a start. “…How long do you have to be off that leg?”

Hanzo smiled and picked his book back up. “At least another day.”

McCree groaned and sank back into the bed. “Goddamn. I think I need you more than I need a smoke.”

“I’m flattered.”

“You should be,” he sighed, and was irritated to find his eyes drooping already. “Hey…Hanzo.”

“Yes?”

“…Thank you. For being here when I woke up,” He could feel Hanzo looking over at him, but didn’t meet his eyes, worried that doing so would get himself all worked up and emotional again. “…It was real good to just…see you again. After thinking I wouldn’t.”

“Of course, Jesse,” Hanzo said softly. “I wouldn’t leave your side for all the world.”

McCree smiled and blinked rapidly a few times before looking over at Hanzo, his partner, his lover, his whole world and sharing a smile with him.

There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

 *****

 Bonus:

“Aw, shit! Did you get my hat?”

“And the moment is gone.” 

[tigersindevlanmud]

Shadow War: Armageddon is the old Necromunda ruleset, albeit repackaged to be playable with Warhammer 40K armies. While most of the rules remain unchanged, the campaign has been severely truncated.

Since I'm a firm believer in “less is more” approach to miniature games, I'm a fan of skirmish level games. And Shadow War is the only sane-ish way to do it in 40K – well, until Heralds of Ruin team produces a viable 8th edition adaptation of their rules (you could also play 7th editio HoR or Grimdark Futures skirmish mode, but let's not talk about that).

I also have a soft-ish spot for some of the older – and unfortunately metal – Guardsmen sculpts. Eventually, I accrued enough of that older stuff through random purchases to make myself an Imperial Guard Veteran Shadow War Kill Team, hooray!

I wanted to color them in the new Imperial Guard color scheme, which is a bit lighter than the old Cadian one, but not having the required paints, I had to compromise a bit (actually, a lot).

My Sarge is the only dude who isn't made by Games Workshop. In fact, I got him via Tim Prow’s Eru-kin (space Lizardmen) Kickstarter. This '80s-ish dude tickles what little nostalgia I feel for anything, and even though he's a Space Mercenary reminiscent of Strontium Dog, he makes a fitting Guard Sarge. He already has a laspistol (even GW has the hardest time producing identical laspistols and bolt pistols), so I only added a spare chainsword from a MK III Marines sprue I got from Burning of Prospero.

The two initial carapace-armor-and-hot-shot-pack-lasgun Veterans are represented by a Kasrkin and a Stormtrooper. Both of these are discontinued miniatures (the loathsome Tempestus Scions took their place when the worst of codixes – C: Militarum Tempestus and C: Astra Militarum – were released), however, Stormies predated the Kasrkin. Yet the sculpt was so good that both of them were produced at the same time (with Cadian Kasrkin standing in as Stormies the same way as models of Cadian Shock Troopers are THE Imperial Guardsmen).

And yeah, the Stormie model is pretty great, even if he's made of disgusting metal (that's any metal, once it comes to miniatures). The weakest bit would be his shoes that look cartoonishly lumpy. The worst part to paint was the back pack, because there's no clear line separating it from the carapace armor, leaving you with guesswork.

The Kasrkin is a lot better, though you still need to guess the colors of some bits. GW could produce more in-universe guides on the crap that miniatures carry, as it would make it easier for us to decide on the colors. It's like familiarizing yourself with subject when you're drawing or modeling: if you know that that thingamabob is actually the Pitot tube, you will be more inclined to include it.

However, since GW has axed the lines in favor of Tempestus Scions (horrible name, atrocious fluff, great models, mediocre statline), we're not getting shit!

While Guardsmen are forced to use 10-man teams like the rest of them (except for ORKS!) - and much like the tabletop Veteran squad – they get three weapon specialists instead of two. So I gave one of them a sniper rifle – by converting one of the lasgun dudes – gave another one a plasma gun (badly glued under the gun of the guy who, in the old kit, was the ammo carrier for the heavy bolter team), and I also had a flamer dude (from Cadian box) and a meltagunner (from an expansion pack). It's really striking how good and modern the melta looks, even if it has the fuel source attached via some overly long pipe, while the flamer is such a horrible sculpt.

Naturally, the first battle saw the sniper fail to hit anything, but it was a sad show anyways. My team was hitting and pinning/wounding dudes, but didn't manage to actually take out any. Half if not more of his Guardsmen team (it was a brotherly spat/training) was on the ground and he was rolling bottling tests basically since turn one. So it's only natural that when his melta gunner managed to fry my unlucky flamer (ran out of ammo after a single burst) while one other dude was on the ground I failed my first bottle test.

Happens every time.

Now, some of the dudes in my team are supposed to be Veterans, while others are merely Guardsmen (newbies, in the parlance of the game). So far, I haven't found a way to differentiate between them, so I'm open to suggestions.

This also the first time I gave an entire squad eye pupils – using a soft tip pen – and the results are mixed, but better than trying to do it with the brush. I also tried to make a few of the soldiers black, most unsuccessfully. I had better luck with the albino-white (and red-eyed, with no pupils) soldiers!

The most bizzare thing was trying to give one of my veteran skull/baron Semedi facepaint. You judge the results.

The fluff behind the team is that they work with/for my special snowflake original content donut steel chapter the Stilled Voices. As they were crusading through a forgotten sector. they found a world which the Imperial Guard had held for generations, constantly calling for help. They have integrated some of the local white skin/red eyed peoples into their ranks over the years of constant defense against fallen human realms (currently being taken back into the fold by the surviving elements of Stilled Voices), xeno raiders and orks. Now, the Space Marines are taking the Guardsmen with them to bolster their numbers, mostly by acting as human-sized infiltrators to launch rapid raids and secret actions.

Stilled Voices had been much burned by desperately strict adherence to the Codex Astartes before and Akharon the White Hand, the new chapter master, is trying to conserve their strength while working from the shadows. He has seen the efficacy of such an approach and he's trying to do the same with the first humans that willingly joined the Stilled Voices in their (re)conquest.

[theclaravoyant]

The team reactions about finding about that Simmons, Fitz and/or Daisy are bi?

AN ~ thanks for the prompt! I went with Fitz for now, although I do have several fics that touch on this, including:

Fitz and Daisy come out to each other (S1)

Daisy comes out to Coulson (S4)

Daisy and Simmons come out to each other

This one involves various moments where Fitz comes out, in varying ways, to his team mates including Simmons, Daisy (references the above), Mack, Coulson, and May. All rshps are canon compatible. Rated light T. Enjoy!

Read on AO3 (~1300wd)

-

Fitz never really admitted it to himself, at first, that there was anything unusual about him. He had blinders on, happily ignorant to his own feelings about sex and dating and attractive people in general. Besides, he was a sixteen year old with a PhD, living off patents in a foreign country and attending one of the most prestigious academic institutions in the world. How it could be both prestigious and largely a secret was a question he never bothered to ask either. It was not as if he had nothing better to do.

Jemma noticed it, because of course she did, but she kept her mouth shut. She was not that good at making friends – not real ones – and this one, she wanted to keep. He was too insecure, she thought, too pressured to conform, and apparently, quite happy not knowing. Not knowing that one of the boys from Aeronautical bought him drinks because he wanted a kiss. Not knowing that the way he lingered by the Ops field some mornings during strength training or as the drills were rehearsed was not something someone merely jealous or inspired would do. So Jemma kept her mouth shut. If he noticed, if he struggled to settle into his identity with the pressures of conformity on his back, she would help him. Until then, she figured, it was best to let sleeping dogs lie.

If he went on some journey, though, he must have done it alone, because after a while he started noticing. He still wasn’t ready to define it as anything – in fact, the prospect was quite daunting – but one night, he confessed to her:

“I like boys too.”

She held his hand.

“That’s okay,” she said. “Boys are cute. Some of them, anyway.”

He screwed up his nose. That was around the time she’d broken up with Milton, and she’d been all too happy to let him rant, in her defense, about the cabbage-headed oaf she had, until recently, called a boyfriend. They spent the rest of the night talking about boys, and what made a good one, like Ahmed from Analytical Chemistry (or Anal Chem, as it inevitably became known), and what made a bad one, like Troy from… well, from a general rule, apparently, about guys named Troy.

Daisy found out a heavier way. It was after all with Ward had been said and done – or so they’d thought – and the two of them had been sitting by the pool, when the words had spilled from his lips; a confession. He was glad, Fitz had said, that Ward had picked her instead of himself. Not glad for her pain, he’d insisted – of course, not that. But glad for the fact that Ward had chosen someone brave and clever enough to resist him, trap him, and possibly defeat him. She’d confessed in return, with a crush on Jemma no less, and the pair of them had sat and raised a toast, feeling just as strong in solidarity as they did sorry for themselves.

As it turned out, the defeat of Ward had been shortlived, and after that, everything had changed. Fitz was different. Jemma was gone. Everyone else was there but not until this new man came along. Mack, he called himself. He was warm and supportive, and though they had uneasy moments, he didn’t talk down to Fitz or walk on eggshells around him and Fitz found that to be a vote of confidence, refreshing and reassuring in a sea of uncertainty and self doubt. Perhaps it was only natural, then, that Fitz attached himself to this figure of friendship and comfort. Perhaps it was only natural that he began to react to Mack’s strong presence and easygoing smile, and dear Lord the muscles that shone with sweat while he worked. Sometimes Fitz found himself staring a little too long, a little too obviously – and sometimes, Mack noticed.

Mack found him one day, took him aside, and Fitz was already blushing. He knew what this was about, but he couldn’t quite manage an explanation, or an apology, or anything. His brain seemed to want him to say well, you’re hot, but he didn’t. He knew he shouldn’t.

“Hey, Turbo, I, ah-“ Mack didn’t usually get shaken. This wasn’t quite that, Fitz observed, just a little nervous. Awkward. Sort of amusing, because it was so unusual, but Fitz tried not to smile. Mack was clearly trying to be serious.

“I’ve, ah, noticed the way you’ve been looking at me, sometimes,” Mack pointed out, “and I think maybe you might – you might like me. ‘S that true?”

Well, you’re hot.  

Of course I like you, you’re my friend.  

Hot friend.

Fitz bit his tongue, blushing furious red. He wanted to hide. He wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury himself and never come out. His hands wanted something to do so that he wouldn’t hit himself upside the head for ruining this – this – the only thing he had.

Mack nodded in understanding, and gently passed him an abandoned piece of cable. Fitz stretched and twisted it anxiously.

“Don’t freak out, man, I’m cool with it,” Mack assured him. “I just wanted you to know that I don’t – I don’t swing that way, so, nothing’s going to happen. Just wanted to clear things up, so there’s no misunderstandings, okay?”

Fitz nodded. There was still a sour taste in his mouth and he felt like crying. Everything was so overwhelming these days; he never seemed quite able to get used to it. He twisted the cable.

“Friend?” he mumbled hopefully.

“Of course, man,” Mack promised cheerfully. “Sure, I’m still your friend. Come here.”

With one big, strong arm, Mack pulled Fitz against him. Squashed rather unceremoniously against those muscles he’d admired (and probably would still admire on occasion; he was only a man) Fitz shifted his perspective. They were good for bear hugs too.

The most awkward, really, was Coulson - and even then it wasn’t half bad.

It was during the interviews, trying to dredge up something about Ward. Fitz had confessed then what he had done to Daisy, a long time ago by then, and Coulson had looked up with a frown.

“You mean –“

“Yeah.”

“But Jemma?”

“I know.” Fitz shrugged, but he sat up tighter, feeling his stomach twist. This was why he didn’t like spreading it around. “I like both, I guess.”

“Right.” Coulson had noted it and after a while – perhaps after realising he was still frowning when he probably shouldn’t be – he wiped a smile across his face. “But Jemma the most, right?”

Fitz, glad to relieve the tension, let his shoulders slump again.

“Yeah,” he said, with a slightly dreamy smile. “Always Jemma the most.”

It seemed only fitting, after that, that May find out too. It didn’t happen for some time; a year, perhaps. It was a loud night on base, as the Agents scrambled to celebrate Pride, seizing a rare night off in the face of so much tragedy that they were prepared to just tell their current reality to take a long walk off a short pier. Fitz had never been one for Pride, really, but the atmosphere was infectious, especially as Daisy and Jemma danced around him and draped him in a pink, purple and blue flag, with matching facepaint. They themselves were dressed up in absurd and garish colours, and he’d compromised with a white t-shirt, which they’d agreed to on the condition that they could bring water balloons, so that any colour flying around would stick.

Daisy had asked May to take a photo of the three of them together, and May had just quietly fixed her eyes on him. She must have known about the girls already – they’d never felt the need to be particularly low-key about any of this – and her steady gaze was asking, is this you? and are you this? Protecting him as much from confessing his own insecurity to the girls as from vocally having to confirm or deny the answers to her questions. Fitz smiled a little, and nodded.

In true May fashion, she simply nodded back, and took the shot.

[catherinewarnes]

Music Video Evaluation

Disclaimer: We changed our idea from a Rap song with career visuals to a rock song with intense visuals. This was due to not having enough time left to shoot in college times. We had to film in our own time instead with a completely different idea. The following document/evaluation will speak about the rock song production rather than the Rap. 

Evaluate the effectiveness of the music video.

1) Did you follow the brief  - how?

The 90 second copyright free music video was not followed. The songs chosen first were all copyright free but the one we finally decided on have a copyright on them so the video can’t be published fully.

The video followed the styles, conventions and techniques of other music videos with styles like illustrative and surreal things, conventions used in my video like lyrical interpretation, songs meaning and finally the techniques like cutting to the beat, special effects with facepaint, miming and lip-syncing, multi-image and camera movements and angles. 

2) How did your research influence your final outcome? 

My research influenced the final project. I learned that you can follow the lyrics for a visual in the shot which is what i used in this project. I also learned that the songs genre audience tends to enjoy jumpy, intense imagery which is what we tried to portray in the video. 

Our video contains parts of surreal styles, illustrative and narrative styles. This majorly was influenced by the research found in media lessons. 

3) Does it meet the required target audience - how?

It meets the required target audience. It does this through the message portrayed, the visuals, and the intense story. The song and lyrics already captured this type of audience through the genre of music and the melody. The target audience was for 15+ preferably in the rock area. The song already helped the video get into that genre of music and so that style of audience. The music video may be aimed for 16+ as the visuals are intense and quite gory on certain parts. So this way the music video meets the required target audience. 

4) Did you stick to your shooting schedule? If not, why not?

No we did not but it still worked out. The shooting schedule was originally meant to be filmed during the college hours. Most of the media lessons would be used for filming the piece. However, the filming schedule ended up messing up completely and so the shots were filmed in one day over the weekend. This is because we ran out of time for the rest of the shoot to be done in college so we started again in a new venue for a full shoot. This way we still had breaks, decent time to shoot the visuals, and left the location at a good time. 

5) Did you keep your roles throughout the production? -  If not, why not?

We Kept our roles for production. Each person stuck to their role and more helped out from other groups to get it done in less time. 

6) Did you use the original locations planned or did you have to come up with a contingency plan?

We used the original locations planned. These were the black room and the white room. The black room for the insane parts and the white for the normal reaction parts like when she realises she's insane. 

7) What were the technical challenges that you faced?

The technical challenges we faced were things like the camera running out of battery, the lighting being to dull or too intense, trying to get correct visuals for the lyrics. 

The camera ran out once half way through filming so we had to charge it halfway but it was during the lunch break so it was ok. To improve this next time we will have an extra charged battery. 

The lighting isn't that great in the location so the lights had to keep being moved around for a decent picture. To improve this next time i will buy a decent spotlight to move around instead. 

The visuals were hard to act out as i’m not comfortable with acting as a crazy person. The persona is very hard to get into and so i had some difficulty in some scenes and not making an embarrassment of myself. Next time to improve this the actor can get more into character and add more locations/props to match visuals better. 

8) What were the main challenges that you had to deal with? How did you overcome these challenges?

The main challenge the group had to deal with was the complete lack of communication. No one in the group took lead of the project so all ideas kept changing and no project stuck for very long. This really affected all type of productive manner in the group as everyone lost interest in each song very quickly. There was a big lack of motivation and therefore communication in the group. Nothing was getting done which is why we ran out of time. 

These challenges were overcome finally when the song was stuck to and the filming was secured to one day and not changed. 

To improve this group next time we need to communicate more and not back away from a good idea even if someone doesn’t like the song as much. The group needs to have someone to take control of the routine of the group so we don’t back down. 

[placetobenation]

With such a large history to play with, discovering the beauty of Bob Backlund’s charisma or the connection of Bruno Sammartino to the MSG crowd was a new development throughout this project similar to rewatching The Godfather and On the Waterfront to rediscover the genius of Marlon Brando. WWE may not have always been YOUR promotion but for the better part of 50 years, it was THE promotion in the United States and transformed the pro wrestling landscape. This project serves to praise the individuals that best helped shape the vision of Vince McMahon Sr. and Jr. Place to be Nation is proud to present to you a ranking of the Greatest WWE Wrestlers Ever.

– Chad Campbell

Note: Results of this list are based on 118 ballots received between May and December 2017. Voters were asked to submit their list of the 100 Greatest WWE Wrestlers of all time and consider only their WWWF/WWF/WWE career. Ties were broken based on 1) number of ballots a wrestler appeared on and 2) high vote. 

Every wrestler who received at least one vote will be recognized in the coming weeks. Please stay tuned to Place to Be Nation as we reveal all of the honorable mentions right through the cream of the crop. Read the other installments, both written and audio, of this project here.

39. Scott Hall Total Points: 6,149 Total Ballots: 112 Average Rank: 46.1 High Vote: 14 Low Vote: 94 High Voter: Andy Halleen

Nuance: Razor Ramon was with the WWF for four years, and his return as Scott Hall lasted only a few months, so his longevity is limited. He worked as both a heel and a babyface and was effective in both roles. He had limited tag team work, but did team with the 1-2-3 Kid on and off. Whatever the “It” factor is, Razor Ramon had it. The Bad Guy oozing machismo was cool, which was undeniable and something wrestlers generally either have or don’t.

Jump Up Moments: His upset loss to Kid was one of the biggest moments in the early years of Raw, and led to a nice story arc where he would feud with, team with and feud with Kid again. His biggest bouts were excellent ladder matches against Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania X and later SummerSlam 1995 over the IC Title. Ramon challenged Bret Hart for the WWF Title at Royal Rumble 1993 in a good match. He had a memorable feud with Goldust before leaving the company in 1996. Ramon was a four-time Intercontinental Champion.

Promos/Character: The Bad Guy was a fantastic character, colorful enough to fit in with the cartoon world of the early 90s WWF, but gritty enough and realistic enough to stand out. He was oozing machismo, dripping with gold (from his neck and often from the IC title) and a dead-eye shot when flicking his ever-present toothpick. Razor was introduced to WWF fans through a series of well-done vignettes, based on the Scarface character, where Ramon would talk encourage fans to “Look at me, mang” and see how he was about to take the WWF by storm. Razor was a good talker, but may have been hancuffed a bit by the gimmick when it comes to delivering his promos. Still, the character is one of the most memorable of its time (or any time really) and it’s impossible to picture anyone besides Scott Hall doing it effectively, even if the WWF tried that once.

Workrate: Razor was a good, solid worker, always capable of delivering a strong match. He was very athletic for a man of his size, threw good punches and had a cool, unique and effective finisher in the Razor’s Edge. Unless he was backdropped over the ropes trying to hit the move. Which happened every match, but we digress. Ramon could occasionally climb to higher heights as a worker, as he did in the two ladder matches with Michaels. He also had a tag team match teaming with Kid against Shawn Michaels and Diesel that was fantastic as well.

Staff Thoughts: The Bad Guy was one of the coolest characters the company ever did, mang! The vignettes, the gold chains, the toothpick, the accent, it was all very memorable, and undoubtedly led to countless eye injuries from errant toothhpick flips of fans trying to ooze machismo. His match with Kid on Raw was a great surprise moment and led to a cool story arc between the two characters. His ladder matches with Shawn are fantastic and were revolutionary at the time. We’ll just forget about the NWO run on his return, even though it did lead to a WrestleMania match with Steve Austin, shall we? You can hear JT and Aaron talk about the Bad Guy on this Making the Cut podcast.

From the Voters: “Memorable character who was good on the mic and in the ring. Threw the best punches in the history of the business. Ladder match with Shawn is an all timer. Liked his matches with Bret too at Royal Rumble and King of the Ring 93. Even his matches with Diesel were pretty good I thought. If not for personal issues he easily could’ve been World Champion, but still didn’t do too shabby as he was the IC Champ a lot. Only thing against him is longevity as his Razor run checked in at only a little under four years.” – Wade Ferrari, June 2, 2017

“Razor is someone that kept me interested during a down time in the WWF, he came in strong in late 92 and really had a great run through 1995 and pretty much owned the IC division his entire run. Worked well with Bret, Jarrett, all the Clique guys, and had some fun squash matches on those early Raws, probably a middle of the list guy for me.” – Sean Zern, June 9, 2017

“Razor seems like a good ‘short run’ candidate. He wasn’t around all that long, but I think he’s a very memorable character, I like him as a worker, he has some memorable moments (losing to Kid, ladder match), held the IC title 4 times when that meant something, and was very over once he turned babyface. I think he would have been accepted as world champ in 95. It’s a back end kind of resume, but I think he merits serious consideration.” – Andy Russell, July 19, 2017

38. Ultimate Warrior Total Points: 6,437 Total Ballots: 105 Average Rank: 39.7 High Vote: 8 Low Vote: 100 High Voter: Andy LaBar

Nuance: Ultimate Warrior and nuance go together like water and a grease fire. Warrior is pure, unbridled insanity. A man, no, myth from Parts Unknown who had one job – destroy in an Ultimate way, use his energy for great applause, to get in and out and be unbeatable. Warrior came in in 1987, and was gone in 1992, and the less we pretend to care about his 1996 run, the better. He was muscles, rope-shaking, and gorilla press slams. Warrior was a Rob Liefeld comic before such a thing existed, like no one before him nor after him. The problem is, when you create someone who is unbeatable, who is literally not of this world – you put yourself into a corner that is hard to come out of. His tag team runs were fun, if unmemorable.

Jump Up Moments: The Warrior lacked nuance because he was one jump-up moment after another. A candle that burned so bright, it went out entirely too quick. From the moment the guitar riffs of his music hit and Warrior ran out to the ring, shaking the ropes, spinning around, pointing at the sky, there are few things in wrestling more iconic from a imagery standpoint as that. He worked jobbers and squash matches for a year, before surprising the crowd at SummerSlam 88 by destroying the Honky Tonk Man and ending his lengthy IC title run. He wrestled Andre the Giant on SNME, Ted DiBiase in Tokyo, and he’s beaten Randy Savage, Rick Rude, Andre the Giant and Hulk Hogan as well. He BEAT Hogan in an excellent main event at WrestleMania VI, was given the ball to run with and blew it. Lastly, as morbid as it is – the way that Warrior died is as much myth as anything, and seems to be the only way this BEING could go out. Returning to the company after two decades, being inducted into the Hall of Fame, showing up at WrestleMania XXX, giving a promo at Raw and then dying the next day – intense and unreal – just like his life.

Promos/Character: “DIG YOUR CLAWS INTO MY ORGANS! STRETCH INTO MY TENDONS! BURY YOUR ANCHORS INTO MY BONES FOR THE POWER OF THE WARRIOR WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL!”

“NOW YOU MUST DEAL WITH THE CREATION OF ALL THE UNPLEASANTRIES IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AS I FEEL THE INJECTION FROM THE GODS ABOVE!”

“I WAS SENT IN A CAPSULE FROM A PLACE NOT FROM HERE AND I CAME HERE FOR ONE REASON: TO ATTACK AND KEEP COMIN’. NOT TO ASK, BUT JUST TO GIVE. NOT TO WANT, BUT JUST TO SEND.”

“NORMAL PEOPLE, PEOPLE THAT WALK THE STREETS EVERY DAY, WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND!”

Come on!

Workrate: Say what you will about the Ultimate Warrior as a technical wrestler – he had almost nothing in that category, but due to this energy, the Warrior was one of the best big match wrestlers of his era. So while one would be hard pressed to point to little things here and there that make the Warrior great inside the ring, his matches that are highly thought of are amongst the best of the early 90s in WWF. He has legit four-star matches with Rick Rude, Randy Savage and one of the biggest Main Event feel wars of all time with Hulk Hogan. Watching Warrior is like reconfiguring your definition and notions of what “workrate” is. He obviously has stinkers, but to the idea that he is one of the worst of all time is unfounded – he has some of the most memorable matches in company history.

Staff Thoughts: Yeah, I’ve gushed here. And I’ll get this out of the way here, even as the high voter on Warrior – he was a real piece of crap human outside of the ring (and perhaps even inside), but as laid out in the “Andy and Chad talk the GWWE” podcast, Warrior is the purest distillation of 80s and 90s excess – a character that was unlike any that came before (or that capitalized on all those that tried), and one that will forever be impossible to do again. Warrior came at the perfect time, lasted the perfect amount of time and will go down as one of the most memorable wrestlers in the history of wrestling. The facepaint, the tassles, the music, the promos. There is no humanity within the Ultimate Warrior – he is escapism, pure and simple and that’s something we could stand to value a little bit more in wrestling. Oh, and the match with Savage at WrestleMania VII is STILL the best story the company has ever told.

From the Voters: “Ol Jim was a sack of shit. I love warrior. I think his best matches are among the best in wwf/e history. I love his promos, his look, nostalgia or not. To this day, I get excited when Warrior is on tv. It’s the ultimate unreality, the ultimate distillation of what wwf tried and tried and tried. I expect to be the high man on Warrior.” – Andy LaBarr, November 3, 2017

“To me a prime example of what the WWF was best at in the late 80s and early 90s which was creating larger than life characters. He will go down in the lure as one of the more colorful people in WWE history. To me that has to be in consideration, I feel the in ring hurts his cause to be more of a threat but still should be on the list.” – Danny Louis Kuchler, June 7, 2017

“He is a top performer worthy of this list. Sure, his amphetamine-inspired promos were difficult to decipher as a child. To his credit, he worked his tail off to get his character over, which is what the WWF during the Federation years demanded.His in-ring style against enhancement wrestlers were difficult to watch, but when it was time to shine on major shows, he hardly disappointed. He got over every time. I was never a mark for the Ultimate Warrior, but he will have a strong showing on my list.” – Jeffrey Thomas, June 7, 2017

37. Randy Orton Total Points: 6,548 Total Ballots: 105 Average Rank: 38.6 High Vote: 9 Low Vote: 98 High Voter: Brad Faulk

Nuance: Randy Orton’s been around forever, debuting with the company in 2002, so he’s definitely got the longevity box checked. He’s worked as both a babyface and a heel, primarily as singles worker, but with notable tag team runs with Edge and the Wyatt Family, as well as being in stables like Evolution, the Legacy and the Authority. If you could create a prototype for a pro wrestler it would look like Randy Orton, but whatever the extra “It” factor that connects a wrestler to the audience seems to be at worst missing, or at best inconsistent, from Orton.

Jump Up Moments: Orton had strong early heel work, from his RNN updates when he was returning from his shoulder injury to joining Evolution, becoming The Legend Killer and winning the IC title. His feud with Mick Foley was a definite hit and their match at Backlash 2004 might still be Orton’s best. He became the youngest World Champion ever, defeating Chris Benoit in a very good match at SummerSlam 2004. He moved to SmackDown and feuded with the Undertaker having memorable matches at WrestleMania 21 and SummerSlam 2005, before teaming with his father to defeat the Deadman in a handicap match and then lock him in a coffin and set it on fire. They would then battle at Armageddon 2005 in a Hell in a Cell match. In 2006, he joined with Edge to form Rated RKO, feuding with D-Generation X and captured the World Tag Team Championship. Orton had a good triple-threat match for the WWE title with Triple H and John Cena at WrestleMania XXIV. Feuded with the McMahon family, punting Vince and Shane and RKO’ing Stephanie and then won the 2009 Royal Rumble to set up a match with Triple H for the title. In 2011, Orton had a great series of matches with Christian feuding over the World Heavyweight Title with matches at Capitol Punishment, Over the Limit, Money in the Bank, SummerSlam and matches on SmackDown, including a steel cage match in August. He then feuded with Mark Henry during his hot 2011 run. Orton won the 2013 Money in the Bank briefcase, which he cashed in on Daniel Bryan after he won the WWE Title, joining the Authority and serving as the foil to Bryan until WrestleMania XXX. He then joined forces with Batista and Triple H to reform Evolution to face The Shield at Extreme Rules and Payback 2014. Orton is a former IC Champion, World Tag Team Champion, SmackDown Tag Team Champion, Money in the Bank winner, two-time Royal Rumble winner, four-time World Heavyweight Champion and nine-time WWE Champion.

Promos/Character: The Legend Killing Apex Predator Viper really lacks in this category. These days all promos are scripted, but it’s really more evident than when Orton gives his often wooden performances. And Orton’s character work is that he hears voices in his head and is pretty much a douche (as a face, as well as a heel). He’s always seemed like he’s just missing a little something, just a step away from getting it with his character, but not quite getting there. And if anyone’s ever had a dumber, douchier pose we can’t think of them.

Workrate: Orton’s got all the tools to be a very good worker, and when he puts it all together he’s capable of some really great matches. The RKO OUTTA NOWHERE is a great finisher, and he’s countered shooting star presses, springboard dives, curb stomps and other moves for memorable finishes and nearfalls. He has a lot of other crisp and impactful offensive moves, like his powerslam, his draping DDT and the punt. However, his offense generally works best when he’s a babyface, but his character works best as a heel. Still, his resume of good to great matches is long and distinguished. His Backlash match with Foley in 2004 is great and the Evolution vs. Rock nN Sock at WrestleMania XX is a fun match too. Check out any of his 2011 matches with Christian, as that series is all great. He provided a good corporate heel foil for B+ Player Daniel Bryan to conquer on this road to WrestleMania XXX, and they had good matches along the way. The Shield vs. Evolution matches are great as well. While Orton’s highs are tremendously high, it should be noted he goes through lengthy periods where he seems to mail it in, and can also be guilty of dreck like his WrestleMania and House of Horrors matches with Bray Wyatt.

Staff Thoughts: It’s hard to imagine many wrestlers with more of a mixed bag than Orton. He’s got a lot of good to great stuff, some really bad stuff and A WHOLE LOTTA “just there” periods where he’s doing nothing interesting. His promos and character trend from awful to acceptable, and his Legend Killer and RNN updates were entertaining and may have been his promo highlights. Still, his resume is stellar and he has a lot of good to great matches and he’s just so ingrained into the WWE it’s impossible to imagine the company without him.

From the Voters: “I’m not his biggest fan, but it’s hard to ignore how important he has been to the company for the past 15 years. He is Cena #2. He’s in my upper tier, but the back half of that.” – Jason Sherman, June 2, 2017

“He is probably going to be in my Top 30. He was my favorite guy on the roster outside of HBK from 2007-2010. He’s always done great character work. I feel like he could have been higher if he didn’t have periods of time where he didn’t appear to be trying.” – Mike Eller, June 2, 2017

“I loved his early heel run, got bored with him during Rated RKO, got back into him in 07, then the HHH feud really killed it for me until that series with Christian which were incredible, so there is lot to weigh in on, he will be ranked but there is some rewatching that I have to do.” – Sean Zern, June 2, 2017

36. Goldust Total Points: 6,563 Total Ballots: 115 Average Rank: 43.9 High Vote: 10 Low Vote: 92 High Voter: Nikolaj; Good Ol’ Will From Texas

Nuance: Goldust has been with the company about 15 years, having been in and out of the company since 1996. He also appeared with his father Dusty Rhodes to take on Ted Dibiase and Virgil at Royal Rumble 1991. He’s been both a face and a heel and a singles as well as notable tag teams with Cody Rhodes and Booker T. Goldust is a master of little character touches and evolutions that makes him stand the test of time.

Jump Up Moments: Goldust had a memorable feud with Razor Ramon in 1995-96 due to his unwanted advances toward the Bad Guy. Razor ‘s suspension killed the feud abruptly and resulted in Roddy Piper subbing for him in the Backlot Brawl at WrestleMania XII, which was memorable and a decent brawl before nonsense took over. As a face he warred with Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and then had a really memorable feud with Brian Pillman following teaming with Steve Austin, Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom against the Hart Foundation in the all time classic main event of Canadian Stampede. Goldust later formed a fun team with Booker T and feuded with the UnAmericans winning the Tag Team Titles. His tag team run with half-brother Cody in 2013 was great and featured terrific matches against The Shield at Battleground 2013 and on Raw to win the tag titles. Goldust is a nine-time Hardcore Champion, a three-time IC Champion, a World Tag Team Champion and two-time WWE Tag Team Champion.

Promos/Character: The Goldust character was edgy and revolutionary when it debuted in 1995, as a movie quoting eccentric with a crush on Razor Ramon. That was quickly established to have been just playing mind games in order to avert any heat that may come their way for negative portrayal of a gay character. He would continue to be a face painting weirdo for most of the next two decades, which shouldn’t work, but Goldust made it happen. There had been effeminate characters in wrestling before, which were usually cheap heat magnets, but that wasn’t Goldust, he always had more depth. From his early vignettes quoting movies to his comedy work in his tag team with Booker, Goldust was always evolving. By the time he was teaming with Cody, the character was really more like “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes in the not so natural facepaint and ring attire of Goldust. This groundbreaking character work and evolution is a big part of what lands Goldust on this list.

Workrate: Goldust has some stellar work with his tag team with Cody and the matches from late 2013 are really great. He had a very good match with Randy Orton on Raw during the same timeframe. He’s enjoyed a late career renaissance that’s led to him having very good TV matches in recent years and being a consistently great worker and ring general. The early Goldust years featured a lot of stalling and “mind games” as he was transitioning from working as Dustin Rhodes to working as Goldust.

Staff Thoughts: One of the more revolutionary, edgy and certainly memorable characters in company history. He’s done great work as a weirdo character, as a comedy character and as a serious character, all as different shades of the Goldust character. He’s been a consistently entertaining part of the company for nearly 20 years, and can be counted on to deliver good matches whenever he’s called upon. You can hear JT and Aaron discuss him on Making the Cut and hear Good Ol’ Will profess his undying love on FYC for …deep inhale…Goldust… CHOMP.

From the Voters: “Listed probably somewhere in the 30s. A controversial adult-y character in still kid friendly 95 WWF. Had great feuds with Razor, Piper, and HHH. Reinvented himself with TAFKAG and the weird ass gear. Did it again tagging with Booker T and yet again with his brother.” – Dennis Nunez, May 29, 2017

“I’m surprised to see people giving him a pass for some of the awful boring matches he had in 96, but that said — I love this dude. The definition of buying into a character and making it work. He’ll be nowhere in the vicinity of my top 10, but I can see him being a top 50 guy on the basis of his work post-2002 and his overall character and promo work. A truly great pro wrestler.” – Greg Phillips, June 1, 2017

“Ok, he was assured a Top 20 spot for being possibly the greatest offensive wrestler ever in the fed, having a great singles feud with Val Venis, 2 legit great tag teams with multiple great matches, multiple runs in different eras constantly remaining over and even being a smart comedy figure. Been watching the Booker/Goldust tag stuff and they were pretty great. Raised Booker and Dustin on my list. Going through his New Generation stuff now.” – Good Ol’ Will from Texas, May 30, 2017

35. AJ Styles Total Points: 6,643 Total Ballots: 108 Average Rank: 39.5 High Vote: 9 Low Vote: 97 High Voter: Taylor Keahey

Nuance: Longevity is the knock on AJ Styles as he’s only had two years with the company. During this time he’s played both a babyface and a heel and has been effective in both roles. He’s been primarily a singles star, but had a brief tag team run with Chris Jericho. AJ Styles carries himself like a star and felt like a huge deal from the moment he debuted.

Jump Up Moments: The Phenomenal One debuted at the 2016 Royal Rumble to a huge pop, with the fans telling WWE they already thought this guy was a star. He went on to prove them right. After starting slow with a program with Chris Jericho lasting through WrestleMania 32, he went on a run of great matches to rival anyone in company history. AJ challenged Roman Reigns for his WWE World Title at Payback and Extreme Rules 2016 in awesome matches. He then attacked a returning John Cena, setting their feud up, defeating him at Money in the Bank and SummerSlam in many people’s 2016 WWE match of the year and one of the best SummerSlam matches ever. AJ then defeated Dean Ambrose for the WWE World title at Backlash, and successfully defended it against Ambrose and Cena at No Mercy in another stellar match. Styles first title reign came to an end when he lost to John Cena at Royal Rumble 2017 in another match of the year contender. At WrestleMania 33 he defeated Shane McMahon in a better than expected bout that he completely carried. He then had a good feud with Kevin Owens winning the US Championship twice in the process. At TLC 2017, he was a last-minute replacement for Bray Wyatt and had a good match against Finn Balor. Styles won his second WWE Championship by defeating Jinder Mahal on an episode of SmackDown in November in Manchester, England, becoming the first recognized World Champion crowned outside of North America. This was the first time a world title changed hands on SmackDown since 2003. He then challenged Brock Lesnar in a champion vs. champion match at Survivor Series that was great, before retaining his title against Mahal at Clash of Champions at the end of the voting period. Styles is a two-time WWE Champion and a two-time United States Champion.

Promos/Character: The “Face That Runs the Place” has played a compelling character as both a face and a heel during his short time with the company. Unlike so many stars of the day, the fans have been invested in Styles his entire run, always caring about whatever he’s doing. He has cut good promos since coming to the WWE, something that was a weakness at times prior to his arrival.

Workrate: AJ Styles’ in-ring work is sensational, incredible, terrific, unbelievable and yes, phenomenal. During his short period of time, he’s had a string of classic matches that wrestlers who spent more than a decade in WWE can’t touch. His feud with Reigns produced great bouts. His feud with Cena produced multiple MOTYC across two years and those matches are on the short list of best matches ever on both SummerSlam and the Royal Rumble. His match against Lesnar at Survivor Series was great and the match against Mahal at Clash is probably Mahal’s best match ever. Styles has done all this while having almost no down periods or bad matches.

Staff Thoughts: Your mileage on AJ Styles likely depends on how you value output compared to longevity. Yes, he’s only been with the company for two years, but during that time he has made his case with meaningful feuds and classic matches, nearly all being near the main event level. If you just look at the matches and moments he’s had, they rival plenty of wrestlers with a far longer tenure. You can see AJ gaining momentum with voters in the Facebook comments, as the initial talk was his rookie year with the company might earn him a spot low on the list. But as he just kept producing, more and more voters shot him up the rankings, as he likely benefited more than anyone else for his work during the voting period. Styles was the highlight of nearly every show he was on, and it’s hard to imagine WWE without him during the past two years. You can hear the guys talk about the Phenomenal One on this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “Think he’s light years ahead of any other guy who has started in the most recent era apart from perhaps Reigns (and I still think he’s comfortably ahead of him). He will make my top 50. Probably not top 25. His run is short but the body of work is still there as he’s in a work heavy era. Amount of shows & PPVs means he’s probably had as many televised matches as guys from bygone eras who had 5-8 year careers. He currently has only 1 PPV appearence less than Warrior and 1 more than Piper, for example.” – James Derbyshire, July 12, 2017

“By the time this list is submitted and compiled we’ll likely be looking at 2 full years of AJ as a WWE performer. Guys like Rick Rude are getting merit and he only had three years is look over. So yeah, AJ is going on the list. He might not have a huge body of work to be in the top 30, but he’s kinda my 50 right now with room to move up.” – David Mann, July 12, 2017

“Since the Jericho feud, one could argue he hasn’t had any ppv singles matches that clocked in below 4 stars. He was main eventing by his fourth ppv, pinning Cena clean his 6th month in, won the WWE title on his 8th month with the company, and then had the best straight run of ppv matches since maybe Triple H in 2000. He’s killing it, and by December, he’ll be 2 years in. Some would argue he was in WWE’s best match in 2016, and right now, he’s probably half of the leading candidates (with the same opponent) in 2017. If he left tomorrow, he would be remembered for years, and at this moment, I think he’s already had more ppv main events than Daniel Bryan did. Like Steve Williams said, longevity is his enemy, so while I’d argue he’s not top 30 or 40, I’d also argue he definitely has a place on the list.” – James Proffitt, May 31, 2017

34. Christian Total Points: 6,646 Total Ballots: 112 Average Rank: 41.7 High Vote: 8 Low Vote: 95 High Voter: David Carli

Nuance: Christian had a seven year run with the company from 1998 to 2005, and another four years upon his return in 2009, giving him more than a decade on his resume, so he checks the box for longevity. He played both a face and a heel, and had singles runs as well as notable tag teams with Edge, Chris Jericho and Lance Storm. Christian had a number of intangibles from acting ability to facial expressions that ensured he always got over with the fans in a way that often exceeded his push.

Jump Up Moments: Christian won the Light Heavyweight Title in his debut match and joined forces with Edge and Gangrel as the Brood. He really took off when he formed his tag team with “brother” Edge, having a great three-way feud with the Hardy Boyz and Dudley Boyz that featured legendary classic ladder and TLC matches at No Mercy 1999, WrestleMania 2000, SummerSlam 2000 and WrestleMania X7. The team with Edge also gave us great backstage comedy segments with Kurt Angle and Mick Foley and in-ring poses “for the benefit of those with flash photography.” He feuded with Edge over the Intercontinental Title when the team split, trading the title back and forth. Christian would later form the UnAmericans stable with Lance Storm and Test, winning the WWE Tag Team Titles while feuding with Booker T and Goldust. Christian then formed a tag team with Chris Jericho that competed in a very good four-team TLC match on Raw and later won the WWE Tag Team Titles. He would then bet Jericho $1 (Canadian) that he could win the affections of Lita before Jericho could win the hand of Trish Stratus. The angle saw great character work from all involved and culminated in a very good match at WrestleMania XX between the two former friends where Trish morphed into Hot Evil Trish and joined Christian. He competed in the first Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 21, before beginning a feud with John Cena claiming Cena was a poser and that Christian was a better rapper. The two had a triple-threat match along with Jericho for Cena’s WWE title at Vengeance 2005. Christian then left the company until 2009, winning the ECW title quickly upon his return. He was the veteran steadying force on ECW having good-to-great matches with Jack Swagger, Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Shelton Benjamin and others on a weekly basis through 2009, before finally losing the title on the last episode of ECW. Christian won the World Heavyweight Championship from Alberto Del Rio at Extreme Rules 2011 and embarked on a classic feud with Randy Orton over the belt. The two had outstanding matches over the title through August. Christian would feud with Del Rio over the World Title again in 2013 and the two had a very tremendous match at the loaded SummerSlam 2013 card. He would also turn in a solid performance at the Elimination Chamber match in 2014. Christian is a former Light Heavyweight Champion, Hardcore Champion and European Champion, a four-time IC Champion, nine time Tag Team Champion, two-time ECW Champion and two-time World Champion.

Promos/Character: CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST HE’S ON HIS OWN! And despite the very good character work he did with Edge, when he was on his own he really got to show his character and promo chops (and that badass rock opera theme song). Captain Charisma was such a good talker that he was given his own interview segment “The Peep Show” to speak to all his fans. He was able to tweak and evolve his character over time, being able to play comedy better than almost anyone on the roster, but still be considered a serious challenger for mid-card titles and eventually the World Title. The character work during the angle with Jericho, Trish and Lita was top-notch from all involved and Christian more than held his own, earning his $1 Canadian. He made the feud with Cena into something legit with his promos, getting cheered in the process, and getting himself over, likely more than the company ever intended.

Workrate: Captain Charisma had good to great matches up and down the card throughout his entire WWE career. The ladder and TLC matches he had when he teamed with Edge are great trainwreck wars. His feud with Jericho and their match at WrestleMania XX is a bit of a hidden gem, often overlooked. He did great work in the mid-card for the IC title and in the tag division in 2002-2005 before the brief feud with Cena and his departure. When he returned he carried anyone with two legs to very good matches during his run with ECW. Then some of the best matches of his career (and likely Orton’s) came in 2011 at Over the Limit, Capitol Punishment, SummerSlam and a cage match on the 8/30 episode of SmackDown. He also had a very great match with Del Rio at SummerSlam 2013 that gets lost on that all time card. Christian had very good matches week in and week out and was known for being an elite TV worker. The only weakness in his game came when he started using the spear as his finisher as a tribute to Edge, despite it looking silly for a man his size to do and it kept him from using the much cooler Unprettier/KillSwitch to close out matches.

Staff Thoughts: Damn, Christian has a lot of great stuff on his resume. And the only blemish we can find is that Steve Austin was leaving Christian a voicemail when he came up with the “What?” nonsense that plagues us to this day. But we won’t hold that against Captain Charisma. He could do it all from talking and character work to bringing the goods in tags, mid-card and main event feuds. The voters have spoken and clearly they are among the Peeps that Christian catered to during his long and distinguished WWF/E career. To hear what Aaron George and Ben Morse had to say about Christian check out this podblast.

From the Voters: “I don’t know about top 15 but I would be surprised if Christian is out of my top 25. The guy has a lot of quality stuff and ranks high on most of the NJPW structure. I think he also has some real memorable feuds given his placement on the card. Like the Jericho vs Christian stuff was only around 3rd most important thing on just Raw in 2004 and it is still really memorable stuff.” – Chad Campbell, May 28, 2017

“The back half of his run is really good when he came back. The feud with him and Randy Orton was huge part of Smackdown in the Summer of 2011. Also i enjoyed his runs as ECW Champion after his return. Can’t leave out his first run of course with Edge as Tag Champs and feud with Chris Jericho in 2004. Going back and watching some of early 2004 on The Network that feud was a huge part of RAW before and Post WM 20. Check out the Cage Match they had on May 10th if nobody has seen it in a while, its very good.” – Jay Hinchey, May 28, 2017

“The man had good to great matches on a weekly basis during his run as ECW Champion, including matches with people like Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder, Tommy Dreamer, and Shelton Benjamin that are highlights of their respective careers. After years of WWE searching for a veteran presence who could provide stability to the ECW brand, Christian held it down. Later he got good matches out of the likes of Brodus Clay, Alberto Del Rio, and Randy Orton, a cumulative achievement that might as well make him a miracle worker. And that’s not even considering his tag run.” – Glenn W. Butler, May 28, 2017

33. Sgt. Slaughter Total Points: 6,784 Total Ballots: 109 Average Rank: 38.8 High Vote: 10 Low Vote: 94 High Voter: Kelly Nelson; Kevin E. Pittack

Nuance: Sgt. Slaughter had about a six-year tenure with the WWF as an active competitor over three runs from 1980 to 1992. He showed the ability to play both a babyface and a heel on multiple occasions and was over with the fans regardless of his role. He worked primarily as a singles wrestler but was able to work tags when asked.

Jump Up Moments: Sarge entered the company as a hated heel, immediately becoming one of the top challengers for Bob Backlund in 1980-81, with the two having a series of great matches. Slaughter was one of the only stars of the day that Backlund didn’t defeated at MSG during this run. He then went on to feud with Pat Patterson after calling him “yellow” and doubling the payout if Patterson could break his cobra clutch. When Patterson accepted and was breaking the hold, Sarge released it and beat down Patterson, resulting in a hot feud and the famous Alley Fight at MSG on April 21, 1981, which is a fantastic match. Slaughter returned to the company in 1983, beating Backlund with his riding crop to reignite their feud, and the two had another series of very good matches. In 1984, Sarge turned babyface to defend America’s honor from no-good foreign heel the Iron Sheik. The two had an incredibly intense bloody feud, culminating in the famous Boot Camp match at MSG that’s must-see for any wrestling fan. Slaughter would return to the WWF in the fall of 1990 as an Iraqi sympathizer and win the WWF World title from the Ultimate Warrior at the 1991 Royal Rumble. He would lose the title to Hulk Hogan at the main event of WrestleMania VII in a really good match. Slaughter would lose a three-on-two handicap match to Hogan and Ultimate Warrior at SummerSlam 1991 before turning babyface until retiring from active competition in 1992. He would be named commissioner in 1997 and feud with D-Generation X having a Boot Camp match with Triple H at the D-Generation X PPV.

Promos/Character:Listen here, maggots, Sarge could get his point across in any promo he wanted to, as a heel or face. During his initial heel run he was paired with the Grand Wizard, but still did plenty of his own talking, including calling Patterson yellow to kick off their feud with the cobra clutch challenge. After his face turn he was able to bang the drum and wave the flag for the ol’ US of A adding even more heat to the Iron Sheik feud. Slaughter claims he was never comfortable with the Iraqi sympathizer angle (and many feel it was a bit in poor taste) but he added fuel to the fire calling US troops soft and claiming he supported Iraq because they were violent and he liked violence. The angle was effective getting heel heat for Slaughter and he took to wearing a bulletproof vest when he went out in public. The drill sergeant character resonated and made a good natural heel before being easily transitioned into a patriotic babyface. The character worked so well, it landed Sarge a spot as a G.I. Joe character, having his own action figure and appearing in their cartoon and animated movies.

Workrate: Sarge was an incredible worker during his 1980s stints, with the Alley Fight with Patterson and the Boot Camp match with the Iron Sheik being among the best WWF matches of the decade. Slaughter brought an intensity and violence to these brawls that’s second to none. He also had very good matches with Backlund in both 1981 and 1983, bringing the intensity to all their matches as well. Even in 1991, he was able to have good matches with Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior at a time when that wasn’t always the case. Regardless of his opponent or the time of his run, Slaughter was a top-notch worker, and anytime he stepped through the ropes you knew he was going to deliver.

Staff Thoughts: Slaughter was a revelation for many voters, according to Facebook posts, and that alone makes this project as success, because Sarge is fucking awesome. The cobra clutch challenge! The Alley Fight with Patterson! The Boot Camp Match! Beating Backlund to within an inch of his life with a riding crop! It was all awesome. Add in the late career Iraqi sympathizer angle and title run and Sarge was an easy addition to the top portion of the list. You can hear the guys talk more about Slaughter in this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “The Backlund/Slaughter series at the Spectrum in I think 83 were really good. Slaughter makes my list, it’s just a matter of where. The boot camp match with Iron Sheik is one of my favorite matches.” – Matt Souza, June 2, 2017

“Sarge is very likely going to be top 20, and may even crack the top 10. Insanely entertaining in all his forms.” – Kevin E. Pittack, December 10, 2017

“Some awesome wars with Pat, Sheik and Hogan at the Garden.His 90-91 heel run was very risky with what was going on in the world, but was the perfect guy for the role.” – Jason Greenhouse, June 3, 2017

32. Jeff Hardy Total Points: 6,879 Total Ballots: 112 Average Rank: 39.6 High Vote: 13 Low Vote: 99 High Voter: Henry Rivers

Nuance: Jeff Hardy has put in nearly a decade over three separate runs, with the latest his current run, and he also sporadically appeared as a jobber for the company prior to 1998. Other than a brief stint as the New Brood, he’s never worked heel, spending his WWF/E career as popular babyface. He’s had a successful singles run in the mid-card and main event and is one half of one of the greatest tag teams in company history with his brother Matt.

Jump Up Moments: The Hardy Boyz team had great matches with Edge & Christian in a ladder match at No Mercy 1999 to burst onto the scene. They would then have an extended three-way feud with the Dudley Boyz and Edge & Christian, tearing the house down in ladder and TLC matches at WrestleMania 2000, SummerSlam 2000 and WrestleMania X7. Jeff stood out as the star of those matches with his daredevil aerial moves off the ladders. In 2001, Jeff received his first singles success, winning the Intercontinental title from Triple H, as well as the Light Heavyweight and Hardcore Title throughout the year. Hardy would make the Hardcore Title matter again with his matches against Rob Van Dam and the Undertaker during this timeframe. In 2002, Jeff challenged the Undertaker for the Undisputed title in a ladder match on Raw in a very good match. Upon his return from a four-year absence from WWE, Jeff defeated Johnny Nitro for the IC title and the two traded the belt back and forth while Hardy reunited the tag team with his brother. They competed in a four-way ladder match at Armageddon 2006 in the match where Joey Mercury took a ladder off the face, igniting their feud with MNM. Their matches with MNM at Royal Rumble and No Way Out 2007 are some of the best non-gimmick tag matches put on by the WWE. Hardy competed in the Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania 23 driving himself and Edge through a ladder in another daring aerial maneuver. Jeff began a feud with Umaga over the IC title winning it for a fourth time and starting his push toward the main event. He would team with and challenge Triple H during the last part of 2007, with Hardy winning a match to become number one contender at Armageddon 2007. He hit Randy Orton with a Swanton Bomb from the top of the Raw set in anticipation of their match at Royal Rumble 2008. Hardy was drafted to SmackDown in summer 2008 and was a regular challenger for the WWE Championship. He was scheduled to be in the title match at Survivor Series 2008, before being “attacked in his hotel” and being removed from the match. He would win the WWE Championship from Edge in a three-way also involving Triple H at Armageddon 2008. He would lose the title the next month when brother Matt turned on him, igniting their feud from WrestleMania to Backlash. Jeff then won the World Heavyweight title from Edge in a ladder match at Extreme Rules, but CM Punk cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and starting a great feud. Hardy and Punk had a series of very good matches at The Bash, Night of Champions, SummerSlam and the August 28, 2009 episode of SmackDown, which saw Hardy lose a cage match resulting in him leaving the WWE. He returned with Matt at WrestleMania 33, winning the Raw Tag Team titles and the two have had good matches with The Bar. Jeff is a six-time WWF/World Tag Team Champion, a  WCW Tag Team Champion, Raw Tag Team Champion, Light Heavyweight Champion, European Champion, three-time Hardcore Champion, four-time IC Champion, WWE Champion and two-time World Champion.

Promos/Character: The Charismatic Enigma can’t cut a promo. Let’s be honest here, he may have shown improvement, but it was going from possibly the worst promo by someone who speaks a language similar to English to merely bad. His painted face era talking about E-MADGE-EYE-NATION or whatever it was left quite a few of us wondering if he was mid hallucination or we were. Still, despite that, the character was OVER. Fuck was he over. And he did have a unique character of, let’s say artistic free spirit, which matches nicely with his daredevil ring work. From Team Xtreme to the World Champion, he was always unique and you could always hear the little girls squeal whenever he took his shirt off, for whatever that’s worth.

Workrate: It was a mixed bag for Jeff as at his worst he could be sloppy and reckless and at times his matches lacked direction. Oh, but at his best he was great. He always worked the high flying reckless style and it served him well in ladder matches and TLCs of the day. But he refined his style to keep all the highspot hits while having very good match structure around them with Triple H, Edge and Punk. Add that to the tag team resume that includes the triangle ladders and TLCs and MNM feud, as well as his mid-card matches with RVD and Umaga and you’ve got a really impressive body of work.

Staff Thoughts: Good Ol’ JR might say Jeff’s goofier than a pet coon, but that uniqueness certainly resonated with a portion of the audience. Even the fans that didn’t wear cut-up pantyhose on their arms appreciated Jeff for risking his life by jumping off the highest thing he could find for our entertainment. He was also a master of generating sympathy from the crowd through his selling (and possibly legitimately nearly dying many matches as well). His athleticism was undeniable and his matches were always exciting. He built a helluva resume of good to great matches in the singles and tag ranks and connected as a character by overcoming his struggles and flaws to grab the proverbial brass ring. All of that lands the Charismatic Enigma in a prominent spot on our list.

From the Voters: “Top 100 for sure just don’t know where exactly. Very unique individual and very over whether it be with one of the greatest teams of all time with Matt or by himself as the WWE champion. A daredevil, he stole the show in the TLC matches and had two great Monday night Raw matches one against the Undertaker in a ladder match and another against HHH both I believe were around 2002 2003.” – Eric Boyd, May 30, 2017

“A legit draw on top with two distinct runs with the company. And now starting a third. His ’08-’09 saw the culmination of his World title quest and he finished strong with the Punk feud. Has serious tag AND singles credentials here too.” – Brad Warren, May 30, 2017

“Possibly top 50. While he was never as versatile or as good a character as his brother, he was undoubtedly the bigger star and could connect with the crowd like few others could. At his peak, he was rivaling John Cena in terms of star power and merchandise selling. And as short-lived as his main event run was (primarily due to his own demons), his ascent to the WWE Championship and feud with Punk were top-notch stories. Not to mention he is arguably the king of the “car crash” spottiest.” – Greg Rossbach, July 7, 2017

31. Batista Total Points: 6,977 Total Ballots: 112 Average Rank: 38.7 High Vote: 11 Low Vote: 98 High Voter: Sean

Nuance: Batista had an eight-year run with the company after his debut and had another run in 2013-14, mainly feuding with Daniel Bryan and the Shield. Batista has played a babyface and a heel and been effective in both roles. He’s been largely a singles wrestler, but had notable tag teams with Ric Flair and Rey Mysterio, so he has shown flexibility. Batista was a master of facial expressions and body language, which was a critical component to him breaking out as a star from Evolution. He’s always carried himself as a star.

Jump Up Moments: After spending a brief period of time as the Deacon to Reverend D-Von, Batista joined Evolution, winning the World Tag Team Titles with Ric Flair. The WrestleMania XX match with Evolution against the Rock ‘N’ Sock Connection is a sneaky fun match. Batista began showing more character, often rolling his eyes in the background while Triple H cut promos on behalf of Evolution. The Animal then won the 2005 Royal Rumble and decided to challenge Triple H for his World Heavyweight Championship, winning the gold at WrestleMania 21. He continued feuding with Triple H, culminating with a great Hell in a Cell match at Vengeance 2005 and becoming the first person to pin The Game inside the Cell. He teamed with Rey Mysterio winning the WWE Tag Team Titles in a good feud with MNM. Batista had a very good match with Undertaker at WrestleMania 23, and the two continued feuding through much of 2007. He faced Umaga at WrestleMania XXIV and then feuded with Shawn Michaels after HBK retired Ric Flair. Batista won the World Tag Team Titles with John Cena to further their feud, which culminated in a really good match at SummerSlam 2008. In 2009, Batista teamed with Rey Mysterio to unsuccessfully challenge JeriShow for the Unified Tag Team titles, and later turned on Mysterio after a Fatal Four-Way for the World Heavyweight Title. Batista destroyed Rey, which led to a feud throughout 2009. Batista renewed his feud with Cena in 2010, with good matches at WrestleMania XXVI, Extreme Rules and Over the Limit. Batista returned to the company in 2014 winning the Royal Rumble. He would go on to lose his shot at the WWE World Championship in an exciting three-way match with Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton at WrestleMania XXX. He eventually joined forces with Orton and Triple H reforming Evolution and having great six-man tag matches against The Shield at Extreme Rules and Payback 2014. Batista is a former WWE Tag Team Champion, three-time World Tag Team Champion, two-time WWE Champion and four-time World Heavyweight Champion.

Promos/Character: Batista has always done great character work, getting over by conveying he didn’t buy what Triple H was selling in Evolution through his facial expressions while standing in the background. One of his most iconic moments is giving Triple H and Flair the thumbs down before signing his contract to challenge Triple H at WrestleMania 21. And his turn on Rey yelling “You were supposed to be my friend!” is one of the best turns of recent memory. Batista always came off as a natural and it’s no coincidence he has found success in Hollywood post-WWE, as he was one of the best actors in the company. His promos were always believable, usually as a cool guy in contrast to the screaming manic style of others. He played a believable douchebag heel in his feud against Cena, and he deserves credit for recognizing a negative fan reaction in 2014, and embracing it by becoming an effective heel.

Workrate: Batista was hit or miss in the ring depending on whether he had chemistry with his opponent. When he does, The Animal can have classics and he provides good power offense. His HIAC match with Triple H in 2005 is great, and he always had good battles with the Undertaker, particularly their WrestleMania 23 match. His run with Cena in 2009-10 had lot of very good matches. The six-man tags against The Shield in 2014 were great as well.

Staff Thoughts: Batista has a sneaky good resume, providing excellent character work during his entire run, more very good main events than you might expect and almost no bad stuff. He’s one of the best actors in the company and he behaves like you’d expect a normal human to behave, rather than ranting and raving like a lunatic. But when he has a reason, he can come unhinged, like when he turned on Mysterio. His matches with Taker and Cena are top-level main events and his latest return saw him doing solid heel work to put over Daniel Bryan and then join with Evolution to have a very good feud with The Shield. He always came across like a big star and carried himself like a big deal. You can hear what the guys had to say about Batista on this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “I thought he still turned into a huge star, and he kind of walked away at a time when he was having his hottest run in the company. He still had a great 5 year run, and i thought he had a fun run his last time back. I’m thinking he’s going to be a top 20-25 guy for me.” – Sean Zern, May 28, 2017

“I could end up having him very high. I hated Evolution too, but he was the best guy in it. Got over huge in 05 and actually drew big and had very good matches with boring, top of the card failure, HHH. Loved his tag stuff. Undertaker match at Mania is outstanding. Farewell feud with Cena was incredible. Comeback was excellent. Turned into a tremendous promo over time. Was over as a face, but was excellent as a heel. He lacks the longevity and blowaway impact I want out of a top tier guy, but I could easily see myself rating him ahead of some major names. Might make my top 25.” – Dylan Hales, June 7, 2017

“He was around a lot longer than it seems, and I was starting to weigh up his good and bad periods but like, what are the bad periods? 2006. MAYBE 2009 before he went to SD. But like the rest…he was good in Evolution. Good in 2005 breaking out. Good in 2007. Good in 2008 before the injury. Good in 2009/10 as a heel. And even in 2014 he was fine once he turned heel. He feels like a hot and cold candidate but really, he was good for a lot longer than he wasn’t.” – Stacey O’Loughlin, June 7, 2017

30. Greg Valentine Total Points: 7,085 Total Ballots: 105 Average Rank: 33.7 High Vote: 3 Low Vote: 93 High Voter: Pete Schirmacher

Nuance: Greg Valentine had about a decade run with the company, appearing first in late 1978, and having a long uninterrupted stretch from 1984 to 1992. He was also one of Shawn Michaels’ Knights at Survivor Series 1993 and appeared in the 1994 Royal Rumble. The Hammer aplayed a heel for the bulk of his career, but had a babyface run from late 1990 to the 1992 Royal Rumble. He was a singles star with a successful tag team run with Brutus Beefcake and another tag team run with Honky Tonk Man.

Jump Up Moments: Valentine came to the WWF in late 1978 and would soon break Chief Jay Strongbow’s leg, giving him the aura of a badass with no remorse. He was managed by the Grand Wizard during this time and would face Bob Backlund for the WWF Championship in a great one-hour draw at Madison Square Garden in February 1979. The Hammer returned in 1981, again challenging Backlund, with the title being held up when a dazed referee accidentally handed Valentine the belt. He would face Backlund in a great steel cage match at the Philadelphia Spectrum in February 1982, before moving on to feuding with Pedro Morales over the Intercontinental title, injuring him by suplexing him on the floor. Valentine left the company until 1984 when he returned for good, winning the IC title from Tito Santana on September 24, 1984. Valentine then put Santana in the figure-four leglock, further injuring the leg Valentine worked all match and igniting the red-hot feud between the two. Valentine defended the IC title against the Junkyard Dog at the first WrestleMania, losing by countout when he took a walk. Hammer then resumed his classic feud with Santana in many very good matches culminating in the classic cage bout where Santana regained the IC title on July 6, 1985 in Baltimore. Valentine was enraged and destroyed the belt after losing his IC title after a 285-day reign. Valentine then formed The Dream Team with Brutus Beefcake and won the WWF Tag Team Championship from the US Express on August 24, 1985. The Dream Team would have excellent matches with The British Bulldogs, Santana and Ricky Steamboat (4/21/85, Toronto Maple Leaf Gardens) and the Killer Bees, before losing the titles to the Bulldogs in a classic match at WrestleMania 2. The Dream Team may still be suffering from the effects of the Nightmare at the Rosemont Horizon, if Gorilla Monsoon is to be believed, but they did challenge the Bulldogs for the titles in a series of cage matches during the summer of 1986. The Dream Team then moved on to feuding with the Fabulous Rougeaus, culminating in a win at WrestleMania III that saw Beefcake turfed from the team. Valentine did his best to carry Dino Bravo in the New Dream Team, but the Hammer is only a mortal man, and some people can’t be carried. In 1988, Valentine began a feud with Don Muraco that included putting his manager Superstar Billy Graham in the figure four leglock, despite Graham having an artificial hip and walking with a cane, but the feud was dropped when Muraco was fired. Hammer then went on to feud with Ronnie Garvin, defeating him in a retirement match, but asking he be reinstated after Garvin insulted Valentine as ring announcer at SummerSlam 1989. The feud continued until Garvin won a very good submission match at the 1990 Royal Rumble, countering Valentine’s Heartbreaker shin guard used to put more pressure on his figure four, with his own Hammer Jammer shin guard. Valentine then formed the Rhythm & Blues tag team with the Honky Tonk Man, before turning babyface losing to Earthquake at WrestleMania VII and Irwin R. Schyster at SummerSlam 1991 and appearing in the 1992 Royal Rumble match.

Promos/Character: Valentine was not the best promo, and was always paired with a manager, going from The Grand Wizard to Capt. Lou Albano to Luscious Johnny V to Jimmy Hart. Hammer played a no-nonsense character who would kick-ass, take names and break legs. At this writing it’s still unknown whether he was the motivation for the classic album “Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” by MC Hammer. Other than being an asskicker, there wasn’t a lot of character depth for Valentine, which likely limited his upward mobility on this list.

Workrate: Some voters would tell you that Valentine is THE BEST worker in WWF/E history, and he is certainly on the short list of contenders. His matches against Backlund for the title are among the greatest matches of that era. The Valentine/Santana feud is one of the greatest angles of the 1980s and the cage match to settle the feud is particularly memorable. The Dream Team is an underrated tag team with classics against the British Bulldogs and Santana & Steamboat, and our hot take is that Beefcake was NOT the workhorse of that team. Valentine went on to have another excellent feud with Ronnie Garvin late in his career to round out his case. Hammer always worked hard often forcing other wrestlers to keep up, making every match good at worst. You’ll almost never see a bad Valentine match, as he always did the little things and knew how to structure a match to get the crowd engaged. He knew how to bring hard-hitting offense and still sell and show ass as a heel. Few wrestlers had his consistency nor his high-end classic matches.

Staff Thoughts: Valentine gets in on the strength of his classic matches with Backlund, the all-timer feud with Santana, the Dream Team run and the late career feud with Garvin. That’s a diverse resume, from the hour-long draw with Backlund in 1979 to his Garvin match at Royal Rumble 1990. No doubt, it was a long and distinguished career for the man who reached middle-age at 21 and then never aged a day since. Along the way he had classic tag team bouts and can console himself with the fact that he made Beefcake part of a good tag team, as he continues to struggle to recover from the Nightmare at the Rosemont Horizon. Add it all together and Valentine has a strong resume as an all-time great worker than hit with voters placing him high on our list.

From the Voters: “I think you can honestly make a case for Valentine as the greatest WWF worker of all time. Backlund’s best opponent, four insanely amazing matches (dont sleep on their 84 match). The Tito feud. Dream Team, Oh My God, the Dream Team! US Express, Bulldogs and a Can-Am Match all great. His solo runs through 90 were great. Garvin feud was awesome as were his matches with Blue Blazer and a reprise of the Tito feud in 88. What did he so well was he took all these WWF wrestlers out of their comfort zone. He forced people to work hard and react organically. He was selfless, but he wasnt going to let you coast. He reminds of Regal in that respect. When you watch a Valentine match in the WWF setting it is like nothing else on a WWF card.” – Martin Boulevard, May 29, 2017

“Oh for sure. Probably got the best matches out of one of the greatest champions in the company (Backlund). Had an epic IC title run. Did the best he could with some nonsense later in his career. I got nothing but time for Valentine. He would for sure be on the list.” – Matthew Richards, May 30, 2017

“He’s a top 20 contender in this thing. Feud with Tito is legendary. Hell of a tag guy. Carried those scrubs Brutus and Bravo for two years. Feud with Garvin is a hidden gem from 89-90. ”- Jason Greenhouse, May 29, 2017

29. Ricky Steamboat Total Points: 7,218 Total Ballots: 114 Average Rank: 37.7 High Vote: 6 Low Vote: 88 High Voter: Vince Male

Nuance: The nuance category isn’t kind to the Dragon, as he had only about a five-year run with the company from 1985-88 and a brief stint in 1991.Ricky  Steamboat was the consummate white meat babyface, having never worked heel. He’s primarily been a singles worker in WWF but has some very good tag matches teaming with other babyfaces, like Tito Santana and Hulk Hogan.

Jump Up Moments: Steamboat defeated Matt Borne at the first WrestleMania before entering into a feud with Mr. Fuji and Don Muraco, where the heels hung him with his karate black belt, before battling on two Saturday Night’s Main Events. He defeated Hercules at WrestleMania 2, before moving on to his feud with Jake “The Snake” Roberts. The feud began when Roberts attacked Steamboat before their match on the May 3, 1986 SNME, giving Steamboat the DDT on the floor. The Dragon beat the Snake in a Snake Pit match at the Big Event in Toronto and later on the October 1986 SNME in a Snake Pit rematch. Steamboat then challenged Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title, losing by countout on November 22, 1986, only for Savage to continue his attack injuring Steamboat’s larynx by coming off the top rope with the ring bell. He returned at SNME in January 1987 saving George Steele from an attack with the ring bell by Savage. This two would have several matches, including a great one at Maple Leaf Gardens from February 1987 before meeting at WrestleMania III. That match is an instant classic, beloved by a generation of fans, as it had an epic feeling that was the first of its kind since the Hulkamania era began. Steamboat would then drop his IC title to the Honky Tonk Man in a shocking upset on the June 13, 1987 edition of Superstars. He lost in the first round of the WrestleMania IV tournament to Greg Valentine, robbing us of a rematch with Savage. Steamboat then left the company until 1991 when he returned in a dragon costume breathing fire (literally) where he was undefeated on TV and teamed with Kerry Von Erich and Davey Boy Smith to defeat Warlord, Hercules and Paul Roma at SummerSlam 1991, before again leaving the company. In 2009, Steamboat took part in an angle with Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka taking on Chris Jericho, who was running down the legends. Steamboat appeared in-ring for the first time in nearly 15 years teaming with Piper and Snuka against Jericho at WrestleMania XXV, and the Steamboat/Jericho portions were shockingly good. He had a strong singles match with Jericho at Backlash 2009.

Promos/Character: Perhaps Steamboat’s best promo work came when he was trying to speak again after Savage’s attack injured his throat. Otherwise, Dragon wasn’t much of a promo guy, doing his talking in the ring. He played a great white meat babyface, but that was due more to his in-ring character work than his out of the ring work. The less said about the fire-breathing dragon costume era, the better.

Workrate: Ricky Steamboat is an all-time great worker, with nearly every match being good and his best being classics. The WrestleMania III match stands out as an all-timer and, while you may debate it’s star ranking, for many young fans, it was a match unlike any they’d seen before. It’s undeniable how influential that match was, with its multiple near-falls (though some may count this as a negative due to how persistent this would become). Steamboat played one of the best underdog babyfaces of all-time, giving greater credence to matches during his feuds with Savage, Roberts and others. He didn’t often have tag team matches, but did team with Tito Santana to challenge the Dream Team in an excellent match on 4/25/1985 at the Maple Leaf Gardens. He also had a great match with Savage in 1986 at the Boston Gardens that is on the Macho Madness DVD.

Staff Thoughts: His run was short, but my God was it memorable. Ricky Steamboat represented the ultimate underdog babyface to a generation of fans who started watching WWF in the mid-1980s. For young fans who weren’t watching the Iron Sheik/Sgt. Slaughter feud or the Santana/Valentine feud, the WrestleMania III match showed that there could be more to wrestling than lumbering giants and Hulk up comebacks. Add that iconic, influential match to his feud with Roberts and his other work with Savage and his shocking loss to the Honky Tonk Man, and voters definitely remembered to Enter the Dragon on their ballots. You can hear the guys talk about Steamboat on this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “One of the best white meat babyfaces ever. It was a smart move never even hinting at a heel turn for him, would’ve been a disaster. Steamboat was a good guy personified. Savage feud was amazing, but I enjoyed the Muraco feud even more. My only issue was his very short IC title run. I know he had asked for time off to be with his family, but it was such a disappointment to see such a small reign after such a great chase. That, combined with his best work being in WCW, makes me have him ranked lower than most other people will.” – Tim Tetreault, June 2, 2017

“Naturally. All time greatest babyface that never had a run with the WWF Title. Best arm drag in the business period, even to this day. His work in the 80s speaks for itself. And I truly almost cried when he showed up at Wrestlemania 25. The guy still had it.” – Michael Schoen, June 2, 2017

“Not enough time to be way up the list, but Jake and Savage feuds were good and memorable. His comeback was short but fun. I saw him go 25 mins with Drew Mac on a 2009 house show and it was great. Will make it, but not enough meat to be top tier.” – Dylan Hales, June 16, 2017

28. Tito Santana Total Points: 7,335 Total Ballots: 111 Average Rank: 35 High Vote: 5 Low Vote: 97 High Voter: Dean Coles

Nuance: Tito Santana appeared in the WWF in 1979 and 1980 before returning to the company in 1982 for a 10-year run, so he has longevity covered. Santana has always played a babyface, but has had both a successful singles run as well as tag team success with Ivan Putski and Rick Martel.

Jump Up Moments: In 1979, he teamed with Ivan Putski to defeat Johnny and Jerry Valiant for the WWF Tag Team Championship, before losing them to the Wild Samoans in 1980. Tito returned to the WWF for good in 1982 and began feuding with Don Muraco over the Intercontinental Title in 1983. During this same timeframe he would challenge the Iron Sheik for the WWF Championship at the Philadelphia Spectrum battling to a double-DQ in one of the Sheik’s only title defenses. After a lengthy feud, Sanatana captured the IC title on February 11, 1984. “Chico” would then start an epic feud with Greg Valentine over the IC title, losing it to The Hammer in September 1984 and being injured by Valentine shortly afterwards. Santana began using Valentine’s figure-four leglock and appeared in the opening match of the first WrestleMania making The Executioner submit. Santana and Valentine would continue their feud in a series of no-DQ, lumberjack and other matches in singles and tags. The feud finally ended in a great cage match on July 6, 1985, and is considered one of the best in-ring feuds in WWF history, and likely the best of the 1980s. “Chico” would defend the title until losing to Randy Savage in February 8, 1986 when crooked referee Danny Davis failed to notice Savage using a foreign object. He would challenge Savage in a series of rematches, all of which are quite good. Tito teamed with JYD to take on Terry and Hoss Funk in a very good match at WrestleMania 2. At WrestleMania III, Santana teamed with the British Bulldogs to challenge the Hart Foundation and aforementioned crooked ref Danny Davis. Tito would then join forces with Rick Martel as a team that strikes with force… called Strike Force. Strike Force would have a great series of matches with The Islanders, and then go on to defeat the Hart Foundation for the WWF Tag Team Championship, holding the belts for five months. At WrestleMania IV, Demolition would end Strike Force’s reign in another good match. Strike Force split during a match with the Brain Busters at WrestleMania V when Martel walked out on Santana. Tito would feud with Martel for the remainder of 1989 with the two being on opposing teams at SummerSlam and Survivor Series 1989, and Santana defeated Martel in the finals of the 1989 King of the Ring tournament. Santana made it to the finals of the IC title tournament in 1990, losing to Mr. Perfect. Their SNME title rematch was of the top WWF bouts of the year. He was the sole survivor for his team at the 1990 Survivor Series and he lost to the Mountie at WrestleMania VII. He would then adopt the El Matador gimmick and wrestle Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania VIII and Papa Shango in a dark match at WrestleMania IX, making him the only performer other than Hulk Hogan to appear in the first nine WrestleManias. Santana is a two-time WWF Tag Team Champion, a two-time IC Champion and the 1989 King of the Ring.

Promos/Character: Tito was not a good promo. His two most memorable promos were probably the one with Martle naming their tag team because they strike with force or Tito screaming “Lord” at Lord Alfred Hayes after Valentine injured his knee. Both of those would be memorable more for unintentional comedy than anything else. His character work is a bit flat, though he does play the best matador to grace the squared circle we have ever seen.

Workrate: Santana is another wrestler with a strong case for being one of the best babyface workers in WWF history. His feud with Valentine may be the best feud of the 1980s and one of the best in-ring feuds of all-time. Strike Force was a great tag team with excellent matches against the Islanders and good feuds with Demolition, the Brain Busters and other teams of the day. Tito worked great as an underdog, as he’s an excellent seller and shows great fire when fighting from underneath. Tito was always able to capture fan’s attention and support, doing most of his character work in-ring.

Staff Thoughts: Tito Santana is one of the all-time great in-ring workers in the WWF. He’s had a prominent role in the transition into the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling era, holding down the workrate portion of the company with his stellar feud with Valentine,while also appealing to the kids WWF was targeting (he was a character of Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling cartoon). Tito is the only wrestler not named Hulk Hogan to appear at the first nine WrestleManias, which speaks to the faith the company had in “Chico.” The feud with Valentine and tag work with Strike Force provides his top-end stuff, but Tito was also a very consistent worker and you’d be hard-pressed to find a bad Tito Santana match. To hear the guys talk about Tito check out this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “Tito is a guy who as a kid i never really appreciated however going back and watching some of his stuff great worker a guy who was a stalwart of the mid card. Great matches with Greg Valentine, Randy Savage and others. I need to see a lot more including more matches with him and Valentine but he would be on my list.” – Mike Poulin, June 4, 2017

“Tito, might make it into my top 20. At first when I think of the guy I’m like “yeah sure, he’ll be in there somewhere.” But I forget that I missed a lot of his key feuds and matches. He was really the workhorse of the company from 84-86. He was adapt as a singles and tag guy. And he was always over with the crowds. Here’s a guy that I wish the Network would spotlight with a Collection because you know he has a bunch of gems, 10-15 minute clinics that go unheralded.” – David Mann, June 5, 2017

“If this were just based on ring work, he’d be very high. One of the best pro wrestlers of his era. Unfortunately he had nothing in the way of promos or great character work. He was extremely versatile in singles and tag work, but never got a heel run, which would have been interesting. He gave Curt Hennig his best match in the WWF that didn’t involve Bret Hart. Tito’s a lock, just not sure where. Probably somewhere past 50.” – Greg Phillips, June 8, 2017

27. Jake Roberts Total Points: 7,464 Total Ballots: 111 Average Rank: 33.8 High Vote: 6 Low Vote: 76 High Voter: Taylor Keahey

Nuance: Jake “The Snake” Roberts had a six-year run with the company from 1986 to 1992 supplemented with his return in 1996 into 1997 and brief appearances in 2005 and 2014. He played both a heel and a babyface, showing great flexibility, though primarily as a singles wrestler. If there’s anyone who could give a nuanced performance, it’s Jake the Snake, as his psychology, character, body language and tone were second to none.

Jump Up Moments: Roberts debuted in March of 1986 and defeated George Wells at WrestleMania 2 making him foam from the mouth when he wrapped Damien around his head. The first of his many great feuds began at the May 1986 Saturday Night’s Main Event when he DDT’d Ricky Steamboat on the floor and laid his snake on The Dragon. The two would have Snake Pit matches at the Big Event and the October 1986 SNME. Jake would get an interview segment called the Snake Pit at this time. He also was getting cheered and would be turned face by the fans. Jake officially turned when the Honky Tonk Man attacked him during an episode of the Snake Pit, legitimately injuring his neck with a guitar shot. This led to their match at WrestleMania III which saw Alice Cooper accompany Jake to the ring where he shockingly lost to HTM. Roberts would challenge Honky for the IC title throughout much of 1987. In 1988, Jake began feuding with “Ravishing” Rick Rude, who inadvertently selected Jake’s wife Cheryl as the lucky winner of his post-match celebratory kiss, though Cheryl refused and slapped Rude. This led to Rude airbrushing images of Cheryl on his tights, sending Jake into a rage. Jake appeared on the winning team at Survivor Series 1988 opposite Rude and other members of the Heenan Family, including Andre the Giant, who he also feuded with. On the March 1989 SNME Jake came out to assist Brutus Beefcake in his match against Rick Rude, using Damien to scare Andre (who was assisting Rude) into a “heart attack”, starting their feud. Andre won most of the house show circuit matches, but Jake won their WrestleMania V match by DQ when Andre attacked guest referee Big John Studd. The Snake then moved on to a feud with “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase after DiBiase attacked Roberts following a match with Virgil. Jake returned from injury to steal the Million Dollar Belt and dared DiBiase or Virgil to reach into Damien’s sack to retrieve the belt. Roberts took on The Million Dollar Man at WrestleMania VI, losing via countout, but giving away DiBiase’s money afterwards. Roberts feuded with Rick Martel in 1990-91, after The Model sprayed Arrogance in Jake’s eyes blinding him. This hot angle culminated in a blindfold match at WrestleMania VII, in an interesting match for crowd participation, which ended when Jake located Martel and planted him with the DDT. He would then feud with Earthquake after the big man squashed Damien and served Quakeburgers to Lord Alfred Hayes. This caused Jake to introduce a new snake Lucifer, who was Damien’s big brother. In 1991, Jake was helping train Ultimate Warrior in the dark ways to prepare him for his feud with the Undertaker, locking him in a casket, burying him alive and having him walk through a room of live snakes, only to be bitten by a cobra, revealing that Snake, Taker and Paul Bearer had been working together all along. Warrior was fired before the scheduled series of matches took place. During the wedding reception for Randy Savage and Elizabeth, Jake and the Undertaker gave them a live cobra as a gift, starting his feud with Savage, where he later goaded him to the ring and had a cobra bite his arm. The two would feud into 1992 battling at This Tuesday in Texas and on SNME. Jake was poised to hit whoever came through the door next, Savage or Elizabeth, before being stopped by the Undertaker, leading to their feud. This led to Jake demanding answers on The Funeral Parlor and DDT’ing Bearer before trapping Undertaker’s hand in a casket and hitting him repeatedly with a chair. This led to a match between the two at WrestleMania VIII. Jake would leave the company until 1996 when he returned with his born-again Christian gimmick. He advanced to the finals of the 1996 King of the Ring losing to Steve Austin and being the motivation for Austin cutting the Austin 3:16 promo.

Promos/Character: Jake “The Snake” Roberts has to be on ANYONE’S short list of the best promos in WWF history. He was a stark departure from the manic screaming of the main eventers of the day, and Jake would talk slowly and silently staring a hole through your soul and talking about dark matters. He would tell you to “Never Trust a Snake”, and he certainly played that character to a T. His feuds were some of the best of the time, if not all-time, because he played that dark character and cut promos with a scary psychology not seen before and never done as well since. He’s a hugely memorable character and is remembered with mixtures of fondness and fear by fans of the era.

Workrate: Jake was a capable worker, but his blow-off matches never lived up to the hype of his feuds. Most of the matches weren’t that memorable, even when the feuds are. He had great in-ring psychology and the DDT is one of the coolest finishers of all-time, but workrate is a bit of a weakness for the Snake.

Staff Thoughts: There’s never been anyone like Jake the Snake, with his deep, dark promos and psychology. He just got it and connected with the crowd on a whole other level, whether as a babyface or a heel. His feuds were always some of the best of the time and as a promo there’s no one better. The slow, quiet delivery and that stare just made everything he said that much creepier. For someone who never won a WWF Title, could he possibly be more memorable? That list of feuds is incredible, showing he was always busy, never just killing time during his WWF run. The lack of memorable matches likely hampered Jake’s placement on the list, and if not for his personal demons, there’s no telling how high he may have climbed. Still, his character work feuds and promos alone struck a chord with voters for sure. You can hear Good Ol’ Will and the guys talk about Jake the Snake on this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “No doubt. Mind, promos, matches with big time feuds..steamboat, honkey, rude, Martel, dibiase, warrior, savage. One of the best heels of all times!” – Shawn Kidd, May 30, 2017

“Hard to imagine any fan of the federation era not including him on their list. Pretty much epitomizes the era and probably an easy top 25 choice for me. A lot of guys get hyped up for their psychology and mind for the business. Jake lives up to that hype. Best worker ever? No, but I was compelled with every feud he was ever in from Steamboat in 86 to undertaker in 92.” – Brian Meyer, May 30, 2017

“I’ve been rewatching his DVD set lately and gaining even more appreciation for him. The master of the little things. His matches rarely drag because he’s always doing something. Great at elevating feuds to the next level; had great ones with Steamboat, Rude, Martel, and Savage. He may not have had a lot of great matches, but he also had very few bad ones. Superb as both a face and a heel. One of the best promos of all-time.” – Ben Morse, June 7, 2017

26. Ted DiBiase Total Points: 7,518 Total Ballots: 112 Average Rank: 33.9 High Vote: 7 Low Vote: 84 High Voter: D. Macgregor

Nuance: Ted DiBiase worked eight years as an in-ring competitor for the company, including a babyface cup of coffee in 1979, and his main run from 1987-1993, before transitioning to a managerial role in 1994. He had a babyface run in 1979, but is best known for his heel work as The Million Dollar Man. He had both a singles run and a tag run teaming with Irwin R. Schyster as Money, Inc.

Jump Up Moments: DiBiase’s 1979 run was significant for a feud with Pat Patterson where he lost the North American Title, leading Patterson to unify that title with the South American Title in that good ol’ tournament in Rio de Janerio. He was also Hulk Hogan’s first opponent in Madison Square Garden during this time. Upon his return in 1987 as the Million Dollar Man, he attempted to buy the WWF Championship from Hulk Hogan, who told him he’d have to win it in the ring. DiBiase attempted to do this unsuccessfully before recruiting Andre the Giant to win the title for him. This led to the Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant match on the Main Event on Feb. 5, 1988, where Andre “won” the title and presented it to DiBiase, before WWF officials discovered the wrong Hebner counted the pin, leading to the title being vacated and a tournament to crown a new champion at WrestleMania IV. DiBiase would advance to the finals of the tournament losing to Randy Savage, and continuing to feud with him at house shows where the matches would be better than their WrestleMania IV main event. DiBiase would team with Andre the Giant to take on Hogan and Savage in the main event of the first SummerSlam in a very good match. He would then win the 1988 King of the Ring. He purchased Hercules’ contract from Bobby Heenan with thoughts of making him his slave, but Hercules turned face proclaiming he was a man and feuded with DiBiase. In 1989, he would create the Million Dollar Belt and feud with Jake ”The Snake” Roberts over the belt, as well as continuing his feud with Hogan by aligning with Zeus. As punishment for buying #30 in the 1989 Royal Rumble, DiBiase was forced to take #1 in the 1990 Rumble, lasting over 45 minutes, a record at the time. Roberts returned from injury stealing the Million Dollar Belt and putting it in Damien’s sack, leading to a match at WrestleMania VI where DiBiase won by count out. At SummerSlam 1990, DiBiase bought the services of Sapphire leading to crackerjack detective Jim Duggan looking for her and DiBiase feuding with Dusty Rhodes through the beginning of 1991. DiBiase captained a Survivor Series team in 1990 with the debuting Undertaker being the surprise team member. At the 1991 Royal Rumble, DiBiase and Virgil defeated Dusty and Dustin Rhodes, and DiBiase ordered Virgil to put the Million Dollar Belt around his waist but The King of Meat Sauce instead hit him with the belt. At WrestleMania VII, DiBiase lost via count out to Virgil, and would lose the Million Dollar Belt to Virgil at SummerSlam 1991 to a huge pop. In 1992, DiBiase would team with Irwin R. Schyster to form Money, Inc. The team won the WWF Tag Team Titles from the Legion of Doom in February 1992 and defended the titles against the Natural Disasters at WrestleMania VIII and eventually lost the them to the Disasters over the summer. They would regain the titles and feud with the Nasty Boys. DiBiase faced the returning Brutus Beefcake on an early episode of Raw, smashing his face with a briefcase causing Jimmy Hart to turn on Money, Inc. and Beefcake’s friend Hogan to challenge the team to a match at WrestleMania IX, where Money, Inc. retained their titles by DQ. The team would then feud with the Steiner Brothers, trading the tag team titles back and forth. His last match for the WWF was against Razor Ramon at SummerSlam 1993. He would take on a managerial role as head of the Million Dollar Corporation from 1994 to 1996. DiBiase was the inaugural North American Heavyweight Champion, a King of the Ring and three-time WWF Tag Team Champion.

Promos/Character: The Million Dollar Man is one of the most memorable and colorful characters in WWF history. From the vignettes announcing his arrival to his in-arena skits challenging fans to bounce basketballs or perform demeaning tasks for money, it was clear that “Everybody had a price and everyone’s going to pay” for the Million Dollar Man. DiBiase played the part perfectly, from his trademark evil laugh to his suits with dollar signs and his custom made Million Dollar Championship. DiBiase was a great talker, always able to add to his feuds and make them seem important. Plus, it was such a hateable character, his matches often had unreal heat.

Workrate: DiBiase was a technically sound wrestler and everything he did looked good in the ring, but he lacks the memorable top-notch matches to put him over the top. The 1979 babyface matches with Pat Patterson are very good. His house show matches with Savage are good, not great. His feud with Virgil was very hot and the SummerSlam match where Virgil wins the Million Dollar Belt was a memorable moment after a strong match. The Money, Inc. tag team run featured mostly forgettable matches. Overall, his in-ring results are a bit underwhelming, particularly for someone like DiBiase, who we know to be talented from his work elsewhere.

Staff Thoughts: The Million Dollar Man is one of the top characters that the WWF has ever had. He was involved in so many memorable moments. His feuds with Hercules and Virgil were fun, as was him purchasing Sapphire and feuding with Dusty and Dustin. He was in the main event of WrestleMania IV in the finals of the tournament and later faced Hogan for the tag titles at WrestleMania IX, so he had his WrestleMania moments. The memorable matches were few and far between, which limits his place on the list somewhat. Money, Inc. was a top team at a time when the tag team scene was dreck, for whatever that’s worth. You can hear the guys talk about DiBiase on this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “As a character, he could be Top Ten. Unfortunately, he has no classic matches in the WWF. I enjoy some of his matches but there are so many guys with better matches on the list. Maybe his 10 minute challenge against Dustin in 1990 or the Mania match against Macho Man. Couldn’t stand the Money Inc tag team overall. On the plus side, so many memorable moments and angles. He makes the list but I don’t have him very high.” – Good Ol’ Will from Texas, June 3, 2017

“The definition of not needing a title to get over. I know they did the Hogan/Andre thing where DiBiase sort of had the belt for a bit, but it just seems like he should’ve been the main man at that time and had a run with the title. Such a great, believable heel with the mat skills to back up the talk. Definitely in the Top 50 for me.” – Mike Andrews, June 8, 2017

“Difficult guy for me to rank, partly because of the categories. He has so many “jump up” moments, but almost no “jump up” matches, even though many are good. I think particularly to his work with Bret. Yet his work was always crisp, he always had the crowd engaged and was always over as a heel. I think he’ll end up placing higher than some might think.” – Greg Phillips, June 8, 2017

25. Mr. Perfect Total Points: 7,569 Total Ballots: 116 Average Rank: 35.8 High Vote: 5 Low Vote: 87 High Voter: Scott Herrin

Nuance: Mr. Perfect was a character in the WWF for about a nine-year stretch, though he missed a couple of years of that time due to injury. He also spent some time in the early 1980s teaming up with Eddie Gilbert. Mr. Perfect spent time as a heel and a babyface, with the bulk of his time in singles work.

Jump Up Moments: Mr. Perfect debuted with perhaps the best series of vignettes the company ever did, showing Perfect performing a variety of sporting events, well, perfectly. While Tom Brady can’t throw and catch the ball himself, according to his wife, Mr. Perfect showed he could in these vignettes. He was one of the survivors at the 1989 Survivor Series and was undefeated on TV for over a year. Perfect helped The Genius defeat Hulk Hogan via count out on Saturday Night’s Main Event, kick-starting a feud between Perfect and Hogan, where they wrestled at live events and Perfect defeated Hogan via DQ in a match televised from MSG. Mr. Perfect was the runner-up in the 1990 Royal Rumble. He suffered his first pinfall loss on TV to Intercontinental Champion Ultimate Warrior on an MSG Network special. He also lost to Brutus Beefcake at WrestleMania VI. Perfect lost to Hogan in a good match on SNME April 28, 1990. Perfect won the tournament for the vacated IC title and successfully defended the title against Tito Santana on SNME in a great match before dropping the title to Texas Tornado at SummerSlam 1990. He captained the Perfect Team in a losing effort at Survivor Series 1990 and then regained the IC title from Tornado. He then retained the IC title against Big Boss Man at WrestleMania VII. Perfect then suffered injuries and lost the IC title to Bret Hart in an excellent match at SummerSlam 1991. He spent the next year as Ric Flair’s executive consultant, forming a power team with Flair and Bobby Heenan. Perfect eventually turned on Flair joining Randy Savage for a tag team match against Flair and Razor Ramon at Survivor Series 1992. He would then feud with Flair winning a memorable loser leaves WWF match on Raw in January 1993. Perfect then began a rivalry with Lex Luger, losing to him at WrestleMania IX. He had a very good match with Doink to qualify for the 1993 King of the Ring, where he defeated Mr. Hughes, before losing to eventual winner Bret Hart in the semi-finals in another great match. He then challenged Shawn Michaels for the IC title at SummerSlam 1993 in a match that WWF promised would be a classic, but was not. He then retired from in-ring work until his return to the company in 2002, when he was a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble lasting until the final four. Mr. Perfect was a two-time IC Champion.

Promos/Character: Mr. Perfect is on the short list of best characters the WWF has ever had. The vignettes where he executed every sport from billiards to swimming were fantastic. Perfect played the character… ahem… perfectly with his cocky walk and sneer and especially that gum swat. He was always nails on the gum swat, no matter the trying circumstances. Mr. Perfect was great on the stick as well, later serving as an executive consultant for Ric Flair (and if you can be called upon to cut promos to help Ric F’n Flair, you know the company thinks you can talk) and as a color commentator. Add it all up and Mr. Perfect was a character that stood the test of time with fans, making him one of the more memorable characters ever.

Workrate: Mr. Perfect was a great seller (if anything it was too overblown and some fans feel like he oversold too much) and had some innovative moves like his somersault neck snap and the PerfectPlex finisher. Sometimes his offenses wasn’t as impactful as you might like, and the number of classic matches aren’t quite what you’d like from someone with Perfect’s talent. Still, the matches with Bret Hart at SummerSlam 1991 and King of the Ring 1993 are excellent, and his matches with Hogan are very good. His match with the Blue Blazer at Wrestlemania V is one of the best five-minute matches in company history and his loser leaves WWF match against Flair is very good as well.

Staff Thoughts: Mr. Perfect is one of the most memorable WWF characters ever, with the excellent vignettes holding up to this day. The towel, the gum swat and the sneer made him a great character and instantly a big deal. He then went undefeated for a year and feuded with Hogan, showing that he was a big deal. His star fell a bit, but he was the IC title level anchor for the early 1990s and had classic matches with Bret Hart. He was an important part of the team with Flair and Heenan and then had a good feud with Flair before he left the company. All said, the in-ring quality and strong character work make him the Perfect candidate for the top portion of our list. To hear what the guys had to say about Mr. Perfect, check out this FYC podcast.

From the Voters: “You absolutely nailed exactly one of the things I am looking for on my list in general which is this is a WWE exclusive list. What do we know about the WWE? It is very much character driven. Mr. Perfect might have done a lot more elsewhere but in the WWE he had to get over the gimmick that he was given, and he absolutely did. Oh, and he may not have been as great of a worker as he was in previous stints… but he was still pretty damn good, particularly when you compare him to his peers within the WWE within his era.” – Brian Meyer, June 2, 2017

“So many factors that put him inside the cut. His selling of the Mr. Perfect gimmick. Fantastic athlete who was fluid in the ring. He also sold others offense effectively. He was willing to job to inferior talent and not lose momentum. He jobbed to Beefcake at Wrestlemania and then Von Erich at the very next PPV while keeping momentum as a dangerous threat to the title. It was strange to see him as a face, but his promo work and attitude helped him get over with the fans. It would not surprise me if he finished as high as 60.” – Jeffrey Thomas, June 2, 2017

“My favorite wrestling character of all time (well, behind deviations like Heel Stone Cold and Hollywood Rock). Not a lot of folks know that. I adored him. He was an exceptional, phenomenal worker who made *everyone* he wrestled look better than they did coming in (Shawn Michaels at SummerSlem excluded). His two matches with Bret are among the greatest matches I’ve ever seen. Could talk like few of his peers, could work like few of his peers, and was still over in his comeback run. He’s in, and he’s going to rank highly for me.” – Greg Phillips, June 2, 2017