#trinity sanctum

[sparkmender]

Do you ever think about organs?

Do you ever think about your strange little quirk, your inability to die like you should, repairing yourself over and over from the barest, most elemental building blocks of materials, reformed and yet frozen in perfection?

You've been under the knife.

You've been under many knives.

You are still the same as you were then, the same as you are now, the same as you will always be.

Let's circle back to organs.

The average Cybertronian has two points of absolute failure: the Spark and the Processor. Knock those out and wham! No more Cybertronian. Fans of Rossum's Trinity would say the T-cog should be considered the third, but the truth is that they're a later addition to the body plan. Not strictly necessary for survival, though they certainly make survival a fair bit easier to manage. In some cases, a T-cog is even that little extra boost to knock someone from surviving to thriving, and that's rather nice, isn't it? Good to thrive. Good to live well.

Your organs. You've got a lot of them in there. You didn't finish your medical program, sure, but you know your internal components. Mostly because you've seen them yourself, excavated from the cavity of your sanctum and laid out on a table in front of you in perfect alignment.

There's some nonstandard equipment in there. The expanding sleeve, the extra tank, the crucible. Amazing how it all tucks away so neatly. All efficiently set into such a sparse frame, just a little bit of a curve visible on the exterior. Nothing anyone would be bothered by just looking at you. The nonstandard stuff can't be transferred to another mechanical without their nanites taking it apart for scrap and extra sentio metallico, which is a shame, but the rest of it--

You're a universal donor. Maybe the universal donor. There's not a body on the planet that will reject a standard part from you. Every micron of your frame can be given over and integrated with barely an antiviral patch and a shiny new spotweld afterwards.

And you just keep growing it all back, even if you don't want to.

Incredible for something so completely, utterly useless in every other regard.

[apenitentialprayer]

How much Latin should a Catholic know? For example, should one know Our Father? Hail Mary? The whole rosary? Entire Creeds? None? Would love your opinion/scholarly analysis! Always appreciate you, God bless

I don't think there is a cookie-cutter answer for this. If I had to give a no-nuance answer to the minimum amount of Latin an individual Catholic should know, I'd say "the amount of Latin used in your region's average Novus Ordo Mass."

That being said, I am never going to advocate against learning a language. I think there are a lot of benefits in learning and studying a given text in its original language (or, in the case of the Creeds and the standard prayers, in the language through which the Latin Church Fathers interpreted them).

To use one example: in the United States, the English translation of the Nicene Creed used in the Roman Rite uses the phrase "I believe in one, holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church." But if you look at the original ("original"; bear with me) Latin, there is no "I believe in," but "I believe." (Credo in unum Deum […] Et in unum Dominum […] Et in Spiritum Sanctum […] Et unum, sanctam, catholicam et apostolicam Ecclesiam). This linguistic construction was considered very important to the Latin Fathers; you "believed in," you placed your faith in, the three Persons of the Trinity in a way you didn't "believe in" the Church. You simply believed the Church in what She said about the God who established Her. This is a nuance that is lost in our English translation.

To be quite honest with you, I pray purely in the vernacular. English is the one and only language that I feel comfortable inhabiting enough to speak to God in. (Hopefully someday soon I will add Swedish to that list, but for now I am a living American stereotype). But if you look at the Pater Noster, or the Ave Maria, or the text of the Missale Romanum, you know, you potentially learn to look at these prayers in a new way.

So the short answer, really; you shouldn't feel obligated to know Latin, but learning Latin might help you gain further insight into the prayer life of the Latin Church.

[venigni]

Also y'know how Leo's coat can be found in the Trinity Sanctum of the factory? I wonder if Arlecchino orchestrated that to torture Abel in hopes he'd be the one to find it. Or if it's just an awful coincidence they're in such close proximity.

[shadow-schemer]

To whoever said that the workshop master outfit you can find in the trinity sanctum used to belonged to Geppetto, your idea lives rent free in my mind. It is very possible because his name is mentioned in the descript. I can imagine it. I am going to pass away from thirst.

[teecupangel]

This crossover got me last night, assassin's creed × Tomb Raider (2000's remake). It just really catches my attention and makes me go "yeah that kinda checks, hilarious as fuck if Desmond (and possibly his ancestors) going all over the world trying his ass off to make this woman to stop tampering with all this isu and non-isu bullshit and lara thinks he's after them for personal gain."

For me it works bc Desmond gets dragged into so much bs he's just tired and wants humanity to stop messing with these things meanwhile, lara is over here exploring and sadly it goes along the lines of her looking for trouble or trouble comes looking for her.

But I'd like to hear your take on this crossover

It would even be funnier if Lara never knew him as Desmond Miles.

In this scenario, Desmond is actually retired from all the Assassin-Templar BS and is focused on making sure no one is misusing the POEs or have any access to any Isu-related tech or location. So, while Lara has been getting experience (and into trouble), he’d been off taking care of the POEs under Abstergo’s and Assassin's control.

They only start to meet when Desmond starts on his quest to find POEs and Isu-related locations that are still ‘lost’.

So when they first met, Lara is already sorta-kinda famous by her own rights (more or less being somewhere between her Rise of the Tomb Raider and Shadow of the Tomb Raider period). This way, Lara would have more experience than say if we were going for her Tomb Raider characterization (although Lara and Desmond being allies to survive the shipwreck and all other fuckery on the island would be fun too) and have her focus on solving the puzzles of the world (since Shadow did end with Lara realizing she’s supposed to protect them, not just… solve them).

So in Lara’s eyes, Desmond’s just this dude that always comes in and tries to stop Lara from getting an artifact or finding a lost location. Whenever she asks for a name, Desmond just gives her one of the names of his ancestors because, as far as Desmond was concerned, she’s some rich human who likes to touch things she shouldn’t be touching. There’s gonna be tension between them, that’s for sure, and, most of the time, they’d ally with one another because the other people out for the same thing are not good guys.

Unorganized Notes:

They won’t necessarily be buddy-buddies. At most, they’d end up being allies who have their own agenda. The closest they could be would probably be more in line with Nate and Chloe’s relationship at the start of Uncharted 2.

Speaking of Nate, Desmond likes to use the name Nathan Drake as a reference to how Francis Drake was sorta doing the same thing he was doing right now. In this scenario, we’ll say Francis Drake was an Assassin ally as well considering how Elizabeth I was an ally of the Brotherhood.

Lara knowing Desmond’s real name will be some kind of big moment to show that Desmond does trust Lara in some way.

Will their relationship be romantic in some way? Probably. Probably not. They’re gonna have one of those ‘calling it complicated is an understatement’ kinds of relationship. They do care for one another but their differing priorities will always make it hard for them to be completely on the same side.

Trinity is part of the Templar Order but is separate from Abstergo itself. They barely tolerate one another but both Trinity and Abstergo answer to the Inner Sanctum. The High Council of the Trinity answers directly to the Inner Sanctum and one of the Inner Sanctum members may or may have been a Trinity member before.

Desmond doesn’t know any of that though and he believes the Trinity is just one more asshole organization that is out there to give him a headache. At best, he assumes Trinity is a Templar Order that separated from Abstergo once Abstergo started focusing on profit and controlling the world using money. (He’s wrong though)

Desmond has been to the Croft Manor… Uninvited… in the middle of the night… to steal some Isu artifacts or destroy them. Lara has not yet forgiven him for that one.

[galaxyglowtarot]

What does The High Priestess Tarot card mean?

The High Priestess Upright Meaning

The High Priestess is a Major Arcana, or "trump" card, that represents human wisdom. The High Priestess can be viewed as a kind of female Pope (a Papess), or the ancient Egyptian Priestess of Isis, the even more ancient snake and bird goddesses, the Greek goddess Persephone, or Eve, before the fall.

For the accused heretics who were burnt at the stake for revering her in the 14th and 15th century, the Priestess symbolized the prophecy of the return of the Holy Spirit, which was perceived as the female aspect of the Holy Trinity.

In terms of the Major Arcana ordering of cards, The High Priestess appears in the sequence as soon as the Fool decides he wants to develop his innate powers, making a move toward becoming a Magician. The High Priestess is his first teacher, representing the inner life and the method for contacting it, as well as the contemplative study of nature and spiritual mystery.

The High Priestess Reversed Meaning

The High Priestess card reversed suggests that when you have problems, it's usually because you are so attracted to your inner life that it has become an addiction in itself. It blots out your interest in ordinary reality, friends, and family -- the connections that hold us fast to our worldly identities.

Don't take this card as permission to abandon the world. This is a reminder to balance your outer identifications with internal cultivation, so you can more effectively bring the spiritual world to the material world.

The High Priestess Advice Position

The High Priestess advises you to adhere to your chosen spiritual practice on a more regular basis. If you want the benefits of evolution, you'll have to cooperate with spirit. We all have distractions, demands -- a whole life full of reasons why we cannot find the time to retreat into our inner sanctum.

Until you consider this as vital to your well-being as the need to eat and sleep, you are likely to be eternally restless and deeply dissatisfied. A spiritual routine that suits your temperament, practiced every day, is the most trustworthy path to freedom.

[auburniivenus]

27.  NIGHTMARE :  for one muse to comfort the other after a nightmare.

Phobetor, the embodiment of nightmares, traverses the realm of the subconscious like an ethereal specter disguised in the nocturnal nuances of indigo. His ever-changing and protean countenance evokes the profound fears of humanity. Within the realm of dreams, he choreographs a grotesque ballet, inflicting night terrors on somnolent minds with an almost sadistic delight. Morpheus, the supreme architect of dreams, undertakes a dual function, possessing the capacity to manufacture both delightful reveries and sinister nightmares. His siblings, Phobetor and Phantasos, bring forth the phantoms of fear and surreal visions, creating a trinity that blurs the boundaries between dreamscape and inferno.

The ethereal threads of slumber wove a disquieting veil, transforming her subconscious into a theater for the phantoms lurking within the depths of her apprehensions. The moonlight, intermittently softly embracing her dormant body, now beheld the convulsions of her disoriented sleep. Tangled filaments of auburn hair outlined a visage marked by arched brows, a canvas painted with the hues of a disquieted mind. As she lay ensconced in the ephemeral sphere of dreams, a specter of unease cast its pallor upon her delicate features.

In the nocturnal realm of her psyche, the familiar landscapes of her daily existence distorted into absurd caricatures. Faces she held dear contorted into masks of sorrow and despondency. Tatsuki’s piercing gaze bore the weight of haunting wistfulness, and Ichigo’s visage, usually a bastion of strength, crumbled into an expression of profound heartache. Echoes of laughter, once boisterous and unhindered, now took on a dissonant cadence, an incongruous refrain that propagated through the corridors of her dreamscape. The vivid hues of her environs progressively deteriorated into a more somber pallet of grays and shadows. Orihime felt the tendrils of apathy twine around her, tightening with each passing instant. She journeyed through a phantasm of her imagination that paralleled a distorted portrayal of her apprehensions, a terrain where the boundaries between reality and nightmare became indistinguishable, forming a blurred haze.

In a delicate manner, she perceived the touch of his calloused fingertips as they gently rubbed against her shoulder in a caress analogous to a whisper. The contact, tender and comforting, illustrated the essence of his implicit commitment—a pledge to serve as the protector, shielding her from the nocturnal horrors that sought to ensnare her mental state. A murmur, scarcely audible, escaped his lips—a melody woven with serene reassurance. A spectral resonance penetrated the liminal space between dreams and reality. His voice, an unwavering beacon, reached her beneath the curtains of sleep, an anchor cast into the tempestuous seas of her delusions. His grasp, acting as an anchor, encircled hers, bridging the fleeting chasm between the dreamworld and the tangible domain.

As Ichigo’s whispered assurances permeated the camouflaged sanctum of her dreams, a subtle transformation unfurled across Orihime’s countenance. The furrowed lines of distress softened, replaced by the tranquil repose that accompanies the banishment of night terrors. Like a ship navigating turbulent waters, she emerged from the depths of her horrors, guided by the compass of Kurosaki’s touch.

With a breath that mimicked the release of a held sigh, her eyelids fluttered open, revealing the clarity of awakening.  “Ichigo.” Inoue whispered, sensing perspiration upon her comely visage. She positioned herself on the disheveled bed and reflected upon him, his attractive appearance illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the partially ajar window. The remnants of the previous war persisted within the depths of her consciousness, and occasionally fear would manifest itself in her dreams. The repercussions of the conflict would require a considerable amount of time to diminish, resembling a wound that necessitates a significant healing period. “I’m glad you’re here.” Her sweet voice affirmed as her delicate arms encircled his figure, enveloping him in a embrace. “Never, never leave.” @ikurosakii

HER LOVER, HER SAVIOR.

[ems-self-ships-galore]

The World as We Know - Chapter Index

VOLUME ONE:

1 - Awakening

2 - Shake, Rattle, and Roll

3 - Diamond City

4 - Railroad

5 - Wasteland, Baby!

6 - Last Showdown at Sanctuary Hills

7 - I Want to Believe

8 - The Truth is Out There

9 - Boom, Butterfly Effect

10 - Double, Double

11 - An Unholy Communion

12 - Abandon All Hope

13 - Full Circle

14 - Doll Maker

15 - Trinity

16 - Poems and All

17 - Hole in The Wall

18 - Mind Over Matter

19 - Sanctum of Slime

20 - Loveliest Season

21 - The Likes of Fabletown

22 - Lonely Graves

23 - Back to The Wasteland

24 - Merry Go Round

25 - For The Benefit of Mr. Mayor

26 - Wanting to Forgive

27 - Only Us

28 - House Call for Beecher's Hope

VOLUME TWO:

29 - Those Loving Fears

30 - Silly Love Songs

31 - Right Here Waiting

32 - Those Atoms

33 - The Beginning is The End is The Beginning

34 - The Wild Hunt

35 - A Bard's Tale

36 - Magic in Your Love

37 - Neck of The Woods

38 - Don Quixote and His Love

39 - Home in Your Arms

40 - Return of The Corruption

41 - Albion's Hope

42 - Chasing Ghosts

43 - Obscura

44 - Higanbana

45 - The Hidden Gems of Riften

46 - Castle Volkihar

47 - A True Companion

VOLUME THREE:

48 - Little Ditty About Jack and Fran

49 - Hold Me As We Sleep, Edgeworth

50 - I Can Wait

51 - Constants and Variables

52 - Funeral On a Plane

53 - Dirty Work

54 - Temperamental Minds Think Alike

55 - Personal Heaven

56 - Back With The 4077

57 - The Assignment

58 - The Consequence

59 - The Executioner

60 - O Death

61 - It's Not Fair How Much I Love You

62 - (Nothing But) Flowers

63 - Crystalized Image of Us

64 - Blissful Couple

65 - Underground Song

VOLUME FOUR:

66 - Close Call

67 - Promises to Keep

68 - Goblin Queen of The Labyrinth

69 - Heavy is The Head that Wears The Crown

70 - Shunning The World Behind

71 - To The Ends of The Earth

72 - Where The Undead Lay in Wait

73 - Beetle

74 - Juice

75 - Come and Get Your Love

76 - We Found Each Other

77 - Waiting for Those in The Delta Quadrant

78 - Continuing Mission

79 - You've Got to Walk

80 - I'm Going That Way

81 - Dance The Night Away

82 - Can't Take Sky From Me

83 - Reagent

84 - Closure

85 - Scorched Earth

VOLUME FIVE:

Side Notes

86 - To Hear the Song Afar

87 - From Hate to Love

88 - Rampart Days

89 - Laminate the Stasis

90 - Two Daggers

91 - I Declare, BANKRUPTCY

92 - Trapped

93 - If It's You and Me Forever

94 - Sous Vide

95 - Angel Band

96 - All Hands, Hoist the Colors

97 - I Like Adventure Games

[tomorrowedblog]

FAITH: The Unholy Trinity gets new trailer, releases October 21

A new trailer has been released for FAITH: The Unholy Trinity, which is set to release October 21, 2022.

FAITH is a pixel horror game inspired by the era of classic 8-bit gaming and the "Satanic Scare" of the 1980s. Use your holy crucifix to perform exorcisms, fight back against possessed cultists, and cleanse haunted objects. Discover a world of dread, isolation, and mystery as you explore haunted forests, abandoned churches, and the inner sanctums of a Satanic cult.

[haridwartourtrip]

Unveiling the Ayodhya Ram Mandir: A Complete Guide

The Ayodhya Ram Mandir, a partially constructed Hindu temple complex in Ayodhya, Uttar Pradesh, India, is a site of immense religious significance and historical intrigue. For centuries, it has been revered as the birthplace of Lord Rama, a central figure in the Hindu epic Ramayana. This guide delves into the Ayodhya Ram Mandir, offering a comprehensive overview of its history, architecture, religious importance, and practical information for planning your visit.

A Land Steeped in History: The Ayodhya Ram Mandir's Lineage

The history of the Ayodhya Ram Mandir stretches back millennia. According to Hindu belief, the site was the birthplace of Lord Rama, the seventh avatar of Vishnu, the preserver god in the Hindu trinity. Historical records mention the existence of a grand Ram temple at Ayodhya dating back to ancient times. However, the 16th century witnessed the construction of a mosque on the disputed site, creating a long-standing religious and political controversy.

A New Dawn: Construction of the Ayodhya Ram Mandir

In 2019, a historic Supreme Court verdict paved the way for the construction of the Ayodhya Ram Mandir. A trust, the Shri Ram Janmabhoomi Teerth Kshetra, was formed to oversee the construction and management of the temple. The foundation stone laying ceremony took place in 2020, marking a significant milestone.

A Glimpse of Grandeur: The Ayodhya Ram Mandir's Architecture

The Ayodhya Ram Mandir is being constructed in the North Indian style of architecture, characterized by intricate carvings, towering shikharas (spires), and spacious courtyards. The temple complex will feature a Garbha Griha (sanctum sanctorum) housing the idol of Lord Rama, along with other deities from the Ramayana. The sprawling complex will also include a number of mandapas (halls) for prayers and gatherings, reflecting the grandeur of traditional Hindu temple architecture.

A Beacon of Faith: The Religious Significance of the Ayodhya Ram Mandir

For millions of Hindus, the Ayodhya Ram Mandir represents the culmination of a long-held dream. Lord Rama is considered the ideal king, embodying the virtues of righteousness, courage, and devotion. The construction of the temple is seen as a restoration of a sacred site and a symbol of faith. The Ayodhya Ram Mandir is expected to become a major pilgrimage destination, attracting devotees from all over India and the world.

Planning Your Pilgrimage: A Visitor's Guide to the Ayodhya Ram Mandir

The Ayodhya Ram Mandir is currently under construction, with the first phase nearing completion. While the exact date of completion is yet to be announced, it's expected to be a major pilgrimage destination soon. Here's how you can plan your visit to the Ayodhya Ram Mandir:

Getting There: Ayodhya is well-connected by rail and road to major Indian cities. The closest airport is Lucknow Airport, located approximately 130 kilometers away.

Accommodation: Ayodhya offers a range of accommodation options, from budget guesthouses to luxurious hotels. Booking your stay in advance, especially during peak pilgrimage seasons, is recommended.

Things to Do: In addition to visiting the Ayodhya Ram Mandir, explore other historical and religious sites in Ayodhya, such as the Kanak Bhavan, believed to be the birthplace of Lord Rama's brother Lakshmana, and the Hanumangarhi temple dedicated to Lord Hanuman. Experience the vibrant culture of Ayodhya by attending aarti ceremonies and exploring local markets.

Beyond the Temple Walls: Exploring Ayodhya

Ayodhya is not just about the Ayodhya Ram Mandir. This ancient city holds immense significance in Hindu mythology and is believed to be the birthplace of several other Hindu deities. Explore the rich tapestry of Ayodhya by visiting:

Sarayu River: Considered sacred by Hindus, the Sarayu River flows through Ayodhya. Take a boat ride on the river and experience the serenity of the surroundings.

Ghats: Ayodhya boasts several ghats (bathing steps) along the Sarayu River, where pilgrims perform rituals and take holy dips. Witness the vibrant culture and spiritual devotion prevalent at these ghats.

Museums: Explore museums like the Ayodhya Research Institute Museum to gain insights into the city's rich history and archaeological findings.

A Journey of Faith and Culture

A visit to the Ayodhya Ram Mandir is more than just sightseeing; it's a journey of faith, culture, and historical significance

[infjtarot]

6 of Pentacles. Mystic Spiral Tarot

Themes and Keywords. Appreciation of beauty and enjoyment of the present moment. Fecundity and wealth. Harmony in practical matters. Generosity and sweetness. Philanthropy and humanitarianism. Heaven and earth. Complimentary forces joined. Body and soul, temple and spirit, priest and priestess. Eleusinian mysteries. The key to the inner sanctum. Sensuality. Fertilization. Potential realized. Kairos, the perfect moment. Astrology/Element The middle decan of Venusian Taurus is ruled by the Moon, exalted in the sign. The harmony is enhanced as the moon’s natural consort, the sun, rules the sixes. The sun warms the earth and provides the moon’s light. The sun betokens sovereignty and the moon is associated with the population. In the harmonious world of the 6, benevolent rulers and those blessed with bounty care and share with people; their altruism is a cure for the errors of the 4 and 5. Mythology/Time of Year Here are holy and fertile unions: Adam and Eve in Eden; Osiris and Isis as bull and cow. The Mesopotamian trinity Nanna (moon), Utu (sun), and Inanna (the morning star, Venus), also perfectly combines the correspondences. Nanna, the moon, was son of sky and earth. He rode a winged bull and governed cattle breeding (Taurus). Some myths say he was father of Inanna (Venus) and her twin/consort Utu (sun). Like Eve, Inanna was at first virginal, but she tasted of the fruit of a tree and became “knowledgeable.” Utu took the form of a wild bull and was known for kindness, generosity, and relieving suffering. His wife Sherida was also Venusian, the goddess of beauty and sexuality. The decan contains the Northern Hemisphere spring festival May Day, descended from Roman Floralia celebrating Flora, goddess of vegetation and fertility, and the Maiouma rites of Dionysus and Aphrodite. The Gaelic Beltane, when cattle were driven to summer pastures, encouraged growth and fecundity, and the Wiccan celebration enacts the union of Lord and Lady. Susan T. Chang

[venigni]

I fucking love the BGM that plays in Trinity Sanctums.

[vardan-and-the-nine]

(TW: religious trauma, mentions of torture, mentions of dead bodies)

I’m not a poet but I needed to write something about all of this. I can’t keep it bottled inside anymore.

Forgive me

For every time I see her shoulders bare I find myself struck with longing.

And then I hear the footsteps behind me. They’re not behind me, it’s 2024, I remind myself.

I feel the lightweight feathering of the whip against my cheek, I don’t flinch.

Last time I flinched it stung like wasps against my thighs.

My eyes do not tear away from the cross before me, my knobbly knees aching against the carpeted floor of the sanctum.

There’s so many sanctums I’ve been killed in, one by one—this one has stained glass in it, I wonder where they got those.

Snapping into the present at the sight of her pointed ears, her eyes the color reserved for royalty sparkling up at me, “Everything alright luv?” She asks.

I nod wordlessly but she can see my eyes, the color of liquid gold, she knows I’m not where I need to be right now.

“It’s 2024, you are 25 years old, you are safe, you are in the inner world, luv, this is my bedroom, you are safe.”

My shoulders tighten, my wings feel heavier than ever before, placed there by my previous God I so desperately revered. A Seraphim bound to its master.

Please, please cut them from me. Tear them from my back. This halo is a dog collar, don’t you see? I detached the leash, but it’s still there, what if they put it back? What if they put it back? I cannot bear to become what I was again. I want to beg her, but I know she could never harm me like They did.

I glance in the mirror at her vanity and see dark roots in my hair.

Fallen, Fallen, Fallen.

A word considered so egregious that death would be better than even being a mere inch closer to where the Fallen lie. Yet here I am waist deep in the mud, trapped in the filth.

Her hand on my cheek.

“Vardan?”

(It’s not 2024 anymore)

Wooden bench beneath me, my legs don’t even touch the ground.

“Father I beg of you, please forgive me.” I weep.

“Don’t you understand what you have done, child? You wretched creature, you seductive and lustful thing. You have turned my eyes away from God. You will get the punishment you deserve.” He hisses through the opening in the confession window like the snake of Eden.

They throw the door open and I don’t even scream anymore, this will not be the first nor the last time my lustful ways bring me punishment. Thrown to the floor like a doll, I hear the words from their lips and see the symbol they thrust before my face to keep me anchored in this front room, to keep me locked in this blessed space wherein I will be broken again and again.

Lustful children get what they deserve, though I only exist in the body of one, I’ve never truly been a child, not in my mind.

They say my title, my name, my cues over and over. I look them in the eyes while they fuck me over and over, electrocute me with what I now know is a cattle prod, bind me in ropes and leave me hanging for hours, threaten my life, force me to watch as they take the lives of others.

They say it’s my fault. They say more will die if I do not become the priest they say I have the potential for. They’ll put me in a room with their bodies around me as a reminder. Their empty eyes will gaze up at me, silently condemning me for my actions. At least, until the bugs get to them. Then there will only be empty sockets, but they will say the same thing.

“I am dead because of you.”

The priests claim I’m special, I’m holy, everything about me is related to threes, the trinity, the perfect example of who they’ve always been searching for. The delicate lamb, the devout follower.

“God is watching, you know.” They always remind me.

He hears my every thought, He Knows and then they will Know, and then I will be punished again.

They knew I was thinking lustful thoughts, they say, how else would I have made one of their own so enamored with me that he was overwhelmed by his desire and raped me?

“Forgive me, Father!” I cry between every breath I can drag into my lungs.

“I have Sinned!”

I can repay them after their punishment is done, I’ll say every prayer just right, I’ll never miss a single word.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

God’s will is for me to become what They made me, so I will.

Lead us not into temptation, deliver us from evil.

“VARDAN!”

I am jarred out of my thoughts and I’m on my knees again, though I’m clothed this time.

(It is 2024)

I look down at my hands clasped in prayer, I can feel the tears stinging my eyes.

I look up at her and she is my most beautiful darling, my Dori, love of my life.

“Vardan?” She says again, her voice softer this time. I relax. My wings do not feel so heavy anymore, this halo around my neck not so tight.

She takes my hands and unclasps them, holding them in her own. I hold them back, so small compared to mine, so unbelievably delicate. What if I hurt her again? What if I break her like they broke me?

What if I—

“Vardan, stop with that nonsense.” She says sternly.

Sometimes I forget we share a brain.

“I…”

She pulls me into her arms, and I cannot help but sag into her, knowing she can withstand my weight. This isn’t her first rodeo, it surely won’t be her last.

“You are never going back there, my Hart. It will be okay. We are Free, you have made sure of that.”

I nod silently. She is right, I did make sure of that. For her. I couldn’t bear it if they tried to hurt her like they hurt me.

I shake those thoughts from my head.

Never Again. Not after last time. Leslie’s begging still echoes through our inner world cathedral on bad nights.

“Forgive me,” I say, “I lost myself.”

“You don’t have to say those words ever again, Vardan. Especially not for this.”

I swallow. I feel like my sins exude from me, coiling around me like a snake. Just loving her like I do is a sin in their eyes. They would call her an abomination.

I look up at her, and she is looking down at me, her red lacquered lips smile down at me, her curly black hair free from its braid and framing my face.

How could she ever be an abomination in anyone’s eyes?

If I wasn’t so sure about the other Lies they have told, I would be certain of that one.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“What for?”

“For knowing I am tormented and broken yet loving me despite.”

She grins.

“Despite?! I love you for your brokenness, and for how you’ve grown from those shattered pieces, for how your heart could remain like wrought iron—cold and sealed shut—and yet you open it for me. You are broken, yes, but that’s does not make you unlovable. You will always be loved by me. No strings attached, no debts to repay.”

I think believe her when she says that.

It is the first thing I’ve ever believed that’s truly worth believing in.

[drdamiang]

TANTAMOUNT

TANTAMOUNT

I stumble

into the temple

past

the guards

and moneylenders

who appear

not to notice

my, how fruitful and prosperous

-- a billion, trillion times fold

since

the time of Jesus

and there

in the inner sanctum

I behold a trinity

Pennywise, Baron

Harkonnen

and the hydra-

headed great

of Merkava

brooding on something

hatching their joint scheme

lucky, in fact,

our blessed fortune,

that all this

amounts to

all this

be tantamount to

is a

meaningless dream.