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writinginfinite · 1 year

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imagine part ix

imagine: form a mental image or a concept

plot: you didn’t know what you were getting into when you turned your hobby into an actual career on f1. based on Lewis’ “imagine” tweet.

Sunday, May 8, 2022

"congrats"

You stirred around in bed, trying to hide from the Miami sunrise that was creeping through your hotel room curtains to no avail. You started to awake. As you lifted your head, it was throbbing, along with your eyes felt puffy.

When you finally gained the strength to lift your head and open your eyes, it reminded you of why you were feeling this way. On the desk in front of your bed sat your laptop, the screen still on. Your notebooks were slightly scattered around the desk and your backpack was wide open. It looked like the desk of a college student cramming for finals. It may have looked like a normal mess to most, but it wasn’t like you. Last night left you drained and defeated.

It was nearing one in the morning, and you couldn’t sleep after sending your response to Lewis, so you wrote. Your mind was racing with ideas and thoughts, but you could not type the words. Writing was your escape but, at that moment, it was your biggest obstacle. That frustration had built up inside and was like a dam ready to burst.

You wanted to go back to bed, but you forced yourself to get it. You walked over to the cluttered desk to try and clean things back up. A blank Word document with a blinking cursor stared back at you as you closed the screen. The remnants of anger and despair were clear, but you had no choice but to pull yourself together.

As you looked around your hotel room, your eyes noticed the small coffee maker. You walked over and looked at the limited choices of coffee pods. Drinking coffee wasn’t your thing, but you thought a simple change in your morning routine would help you move in the right direction. You chose a random pod and placed it into the machine before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When you entered the bathroom and turned on the light, an unrecognizable face greeted you in the mirror. Your once radiant demeanor had vanished. Bloodshot red eyes with dark circles underneath, along with faint creases in your forehead to top it off. You hadn’t realized how much weight you had been carrying until it was staring back at you. With a heavy head, you slowly walked to the shower, hoping the hot water would give you some energy.

As you applied your makeup and got dressed, you stared at the person in the mirror. You uttered words of affirmation to yourself, hoping they would boost your confidence, but the words felt empty and forced. You mumbled, “It is what it is,” as you took one final look at your reflection in the mirror. You sighed and turned off the bathroom light, feeling disappointed in yourself for not being able to believe your own words.

You walked over to the cup of coffee you had brewed earlier. With one sip, the familiar bitterness reminded you that you still hated coffee. You wondered if it was because you forgot to add creamer or maybe because you had brushed your teeth. Regardless of the reasons, it only added to your growing frustration this morning. However, you kept drinking, as if trying to force yourself to like it, just like you were trying to force yourself to feel confident.

You moved around your hotel room with coffee in hand, gathering your essentials for the day. You triple-checked your bags, making sure you had everything you needed before leaving. As you grabbed the doorknob, you took a deep breath, realizing that just changing your routine wouldn't magically change your situation as you hoped. You couldn't change your circumstances overnight, but you also knew that you couldn't keep wallowing in self-pity. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you had to be willing to take small steps toward your goals. It meant facing your own doubts and fears along the way, but you had to continue. It was up to you to make positive changes in your life, and that dwelling on negativity would only hold you back. You control your own destiny.

The morning of the Miami Grand Prix, you found yourself once again sitting alone at your table in the media center. You were typing away on the same Word document as last night. Your race analysis and recaps were past due in your mind, but you were still struggling to put your thoughts and ideas into coherent statements.

Your phone pinged with a text notification from an unknown number. Your initial instinct was to immediately delete the message without even opening it, knowing better than to click on links from unfamiliar numbers. However, something inside you told you to read it, and you hesitantly tapped on the message.

"Congrats," the text read, with a link to Twitter. Your curiosity got the best of you. You clicked on the link. As the Twitter app opened, your eyes widened in surprise. There was a photo of you, announcing you as a guest on "Any Driven Monday," for tomorrow evening. Your heart skipped a beat as you read the tweet over and over again, trying to process what was right in front of you.

Then you remembered you had completely forgotten about agreeing to be on the show just days ago on the Paddock. With so much happening during, the appearance had slipped your mind. However, a surge of excitement washed over you as the reality of the opportunity sank in.

As you looked up from your phone, you noticed the other reporters in the media room staring at you with narrowed eyes filled with envy. You could sense a mix of emotions in the air- jealousy, and curiosity. It made you frown, and a sense of unease rose in your chest, along with a side of satisfaction creeping in. You knew that the world of racing journalism could be competitive and cutthroat, and not everyone would be happy for your success.

You quote retweeted the tweet with, “So much has been going on, I forgot. It’s been months in the making so I’m excited it’s finally happening! Hope you can all tune in wherever you are in the world.” As you hit the send button, a sense of anticipation and nervousness washed over you. You couldn’t run away and play sick this time.

You looked up from your phone, feeling a sudden presence, and locked eyes with a woman standing in front of you. Her sly grin sent a shiver down your spine. You knew she was stirring up something.

"So, how'd you luck in this appearance on Any Driven Monday?" she asked, her tone dripping with jealousy and disdain for you. You knew she was trying to belittle you, and you were getting more annoyed every second she stood next to you.

Without even thinking, you blurted out, "Damn, you’re not even going to congratulate me?" The words slipped out before you could even process them. You realized it was a bold move, but you couldn't back down now. You were now drawn into the game she started, and you were going to play along. Her grin slowly slipped into a frown because your response caught her off guard. She mumbled some words under her breath, and her annoyance became more clear. You stood your ground, feeling a surge of confidence developing.

You couldn't resist watching as she made her way back to a table filled with the others. It was obvious she was telling them about your interaction just seconds ago, and you were certain she was twisting the truth to be the victim. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the table as they all turned around in sync to look at you. Their facial expressions read a mix of surprise and curiosity.

Feeling a surge of satisfaction, you gave them a quick wave and let out a quiet laugh as you caught them turning red with embarrassment, realizing you caught them. It was a rare moment of carefreeness amid the constant tension, and you soaked in the joy it brought you.

As you went back to try and make sense of what was on your laptop screen, you felt a new sense of confidence. You were proud of yourself at that moment. You wouldn’t know how long it would last, so you tried not to dwell on that. Your focus now was getting ready for the race and interviews that followed.

You walked out of the media center, and into the grandstand area, and you were feeling amazing. The Miami Grand Prix was moments away from starting and you wanted to be outside to experience it. Watching this inaugural Grand Prix from a monitor felt wrong. You weren’t sure if it was you being delusional, but part of you was slightly optimistic about Lewis’ chances, even though he was starting from P6. You watched the cars line up on the grid and listened to the sounds of the crowd and engines being revved. Then it was time for lights out.

As the cars rounded Turn 1, your hopes quickly faded. "Same shit, different track," you muttered to yourself in frustration as a Red Bull easily took P2 from Carlos. By Lap 9, you had seen enough overtakes that it took nearly everything out of you not to walk back inside and start writing the same article from the previous week. You decided against it and found an area off to the side to continue watching this race for second and third place.

At Lap 41, a virtual safety car turned into a full Safety Car, making the race become interesting, but not how you’d hoped. You watched as Russell took advantage of the Safety Car, taking new tires, but Lewis stayed out as a sitting duck–in P6. You weren’t sure if it was the teams or Lewis’ call to not get new tires, but as an outsider, you hated it. In annoyance you sent out a tweet, “I need someone to explain what’s going on at Mercedes, please. Not calling in both drivers is crazy to me. Then again, I’m not a strategist or World Champion.” You were trying to make light of this questionable situation.

By Lap 49, what you didn’t want to happen happened. The two Mercedes teammates dueled, and your heart sank as you watched, once again, new tires winning against Lewis. As they reached Turn 11, his teammate forced Lewis off the track, giving Lewis his spot back. You cringed on the inside, imagining how tense radio communication and commentary would make of that moment.

You knew it would be only a matter of time before another bad tire call would screw Lewis, and you didn’t want to be around to witness any more of it. You took the time to cool off and head to the media center, trying your hardest to hide your disappointment. If it frustrated you from watching, there were no words you could think of to describe how Lewis was feeling. You knew that this was just the latest in a long line of bad tire calls that had cost Lewis valuable points. You took a deep breath and reminded yourself to stay calm and professional, knowing that there would be post-race pit interviews to conduct and articles for you to write.

But deep down, you couldn't shake your emotions. You knew Lewis was a talented driver, but it seemed like he was constantly being held back by poor strategy and bad luck. You couldn't wait to hear his thoughts on the race and see how he was coping with yet another setback.

You were back in the bustling media pits watching, and driver by driver went back. You didn’t have questions for them because you were becoming familiar with how they would respond and it didn’t seem worth it at that moment. That was until Lewis stopped at your section.

You listened as Lewis expertly answered the bait questions, hiding his annoyance. When the questions finally stopped, you took it as your time to ask yours. "First, hi Lewis, I hope you’re well. I just have one question, if you don’t mind?” Lewis nodded and answered, “Of course, I have time for your questions.”

“Thanks. You've had a lot of success in your career, Lewis, and it’s still early in the season, but how do you stay positive after not having won so far this season? Would you say so far, this car hasn’t been successful?" you asked Lewis cautiously. You didn’t know if that question would touch a nerve because it was looking as if Lewis was sacrificing his season for data. The situation annoyed you as an outsider looking in. If it were frustrating you, it probably would be tough for Lewis.

Lewis took a quick breath before answering, causing you to panic on the inside. "That's an interesting question. Many people believe that success is all about winning, but it's not. It's about how you bounce back from disappointment and handle adversity. At times, this car felt like a disappointment, but the team and I keep going race by race. I collect data and we as a team try to figure out what to fix so we can be back up front. Success is about how you keep pushing even when things aren't how you dreamed they would."

There was a moment of silence before Lewis finished speaking. The pause felt almost intentional. It was as if Lewis wanted you to take a second to process what he had just told you. “To be successful, you have to stay focused and positive, even when the odds are against you. And that's what I try my hardest to do every day. I can’t let the lack of wins so far in the season keep me down. I can’t let constant criticism get in my head. I keep pushing, keep working, and keep believing in myself. I’m sure you understand what I mean.”

“Yeah, I totally understand what you mean,” another reporter who must have been listening blurted out. “Good for you,” Lewis responded, without breaking eye contact with you.

You had interviewed Lewis a couple of times in your short period here, but this interview felt different. You weren’t sure if Lewis was asking you a question or finishing his statement. It brought you back to reality when you heard Lewis say your name in a calm voice. “You understand what I’m getting at, right?” You looked at Lewis to see his head slightly tilted as if he was trying to read your body language because you hadn’t responded yet. You were the reporter, not the athlete, so you weren’t used to being asked questions. That moment causes you to become flustered and struggle to find your words again.

“Thank you, Lewis,” was all you could mutter out. Though it wasn’t a direct ‘yes,’ your tone of voice let Lewis know you understood what he was getting at. You watched as he let out a sigh of relief. You knew he was trying to give you subtle advice in a way that the other reporters that stood around watching wouldn’t catch. To them, it was a simple “Lewis Hamilton answer”, but to you, it was a heart-to-heart. You were both experiencing the same struggles just at different extremes.

A Mercedes PR member, loudly asked, "Any more questions?" effectively signaling the end of the media session for everyone. Ending the moment with Lewis, you didn’t know if it would happen again. As it became clear that no one had any further questions, the media members started making their way back toward the media center. Just as you were about to leave, you locked eyes with Lewis. He uttered the word "Congrats," accompanied by a swift wink, before walking towards the team’s garage. Everything happened so suddenly that you barely had time to realize what had just happened or respond before Lewis disappeared from your sight.

As you stood alone in the media pit, you were still trying to process the whirlwind of events that had just unfolded. Your mind was drawn back to the text from the unknown number hours ago. "Congrats," it had read. Earlier you had brushed it off as a wrong number or spam and hadn’t bothered to reply. But now, the sender of the message could be more important than you thought.

You quickly gathered your belongings and headed back to the media center to play FBI detective. The short walk back to your seat felt like an eternity as your mind raced with various scenarios. Could it be Lewis? But how could he have gotten my number? Did I leave my number on my business accounts? Or was it a prank?

As you got back into your seat, you stared at your phone screen. The coincidence was too strange to ignore, even though it was highly unlikely. You were running on a little sleep, and the lack of clarity only added to your sense of delusion. You debated on calling the number or just ignoring it again. But you settled on texting the unknown number back.

You typed a quick reply: "Thank you." But as soon as you hit the arrow button, the once blue iMessage bubbles turned green, which usually indicated that you had been blocked. Confusion washed over you as you stared at your phone, trying to make sense of it all. It was going to be a long night.

When you walked into your hotel room, you headed straight for the shower to end your night. Instead of heading straight to bed as you first started to, you grabbed your laptop from your bag and sat at the desk in your room. The only light came from your laptop screen and the half-crescent moon peeking through the curtains. You found yourself writing, unlike last night. You were writing an article that differed from your usual race recaps and analysis. A topic that was often avoided in mainstream motorsports, including yourself. You couldn’t shake your encounter from earlier and felt writing about it would help.

As you wrote, the words flowed more easily than they had the previous night. You were back to being able to write your thoughts and emotions into sentences. That urge and passion that was dimming was reigniting. It was taking you longer to come up with a title than to write the article because you wanted to capture the message without giving everything away. You read over it one last time and whatever the first title came to mind, you’d stick with it.

It’s nearing 2 in the morning as I write this and outside my hotel window dimly shines the moon. It’s in the “half-crescent” phase. Gazing at it told me two things. First, it’s time for me to sleep and second, well, you can read on for that answer:

Lewis Hamilton is no stranger to success. With 103 wins and 7 championships, he is considered the “Greatest of All Time,” whether or not people want to give him his flowers. However, the 2022 season hasn’t been kind to him. Five races into the season, and only a single podium at Bahrain, it could feel to some like the pressure is mounting.

Lewis has made it known he’s testing different setups for Mercedes. With so much success had to come sacrifice, right? To some, he is sacrificing his season for data, and to others who waited for this moment, he is “washed.” No matter how people viewed Lewis Hamilton, it feels odd seeing him up front.

I asked about Lewis' lack of success so far in the season and his answer shocked me. There was no anger or resentment, but it was an answer of resilience. Lewis spoke about how success was not just about winning, but about how one bounced back from disappointment and handled adversity.

"Success is all about winning, but it's not. It's about how you bounce back from disappointment and handle adversity. At times, this car felt like a disappointment, but the team and I keep going race by race. I collect data and we as a team try to figure out what to fix so we can be back up front. Success is about how you keep pushing even when things aren't how you dreamed they would."

Success isn’t just about winning to Lewis, but about how one bounced back from disappointment and handled adversity. Yes, he acknowledged the car had been a disappointment at times, but he and the team were pushing forward. He emphasized that success was about how one keeps pushing even when things don’t go as planned, and how one stayed focused and positive despite the odds.

Lewis exemplified resilience and mental toughness at that moment. He keeps pushing forward, despite setbacks and criticism. No one can say positively that’s how it always is for Lewis; he’s made us aware of that in an Instagram story. “I have struggled mentally and emotionally for a long time. To keep going is a constant effort, but we have to keep fighting. We have so much to do and achieve."

You could ask “What else is there for Lewis Hamilton to achieve?” but the sky is truly the limit for him. Lewis Hamilton is a reminder of how success is not always measured by wins and accomplishments in life, but by how one handles setbacks and keeps pushing forward -even when the odds are against you. You may be the only one in your field, and feel you don’t belong, but you must remember you got there because of your hard work. There’s no need to explain yourself.

The half-crescent shape is less than half illuminated, a visible portion of the moon. It’s said to represent the passage of time, the concept of change and transformation. To me, it’s a reminder that even in darkness there’s always a glimmer of light - a glimmer of hope.

You felt a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction after reading your work. You didn’t know you were capable of writing a piece that carried a message. “Resilience and Mental Toughness” popped into your mind, and sticking to your word, you decided on that title. It was a testament to the inner strength is required in work and in life, something that resonated with you deeply. You took a deep breath, feeling a sense of fulfillment as you hit the "Publish" button on your website, knowing that you had shared something important.

Somewhere in the world people were awake, so you sent out a tweet linking to the article, “This is a little different from normal race recaps and analysis. They’ll be back soon.” You closed your laptop immediately after sending the tweet, knowing you needed sleep. But your mind kept going back to that text from the unknown number. You grabbed your phone and started scrolling through the people you followed online, thinking it could be someone you knew personally who got a new number. But no one was sticking out or seemed familiar.

Time slipped by quickly as you scrolled through Instagram, and before you knew it, the app forced closed and you saw it was already half past 3 in the morning. You sighed and decided to call it quits for the night, preparing to plug in your phone when you noticed a Twitter notification - a direct message from Lewis. Suddenly, you were wide awake.

“From the title alone, I’m intrigued. I normally don't read things like this, but I may take a peek. Also, I hope you understood when I was getting at earlier today”

You read the message over and over, trying to grasp what was happening. Would he actually read something I wrote? You wrote so many responses. You debated on bringing up the race, telling him he gave it all he could and you’re sorry it didn’t go how he’d hoped. You decided against it because you wanted to talk to Lewis, the individual, not the driver you saw less than 10 hours ago. So you kept the reply simple,

“It means a lot, thank you. Please let me know if I should edit anything or if you feel should be added in. It’s not my normal way of doing things, but this is a first.”

You didn’t expect Lewis to respond until the morning, but to your surprise, he was typing. “I’ll see. Have a nice night ... well, morning. Also, don’t you have a show to prepare for in the evening?”

His message brought a smile to your face. He was using your own words from the previous night against you. You couldn't think of a witty reply, so all you could type was, “Those words sound familiar. For once in my life, I’ll take someone else’s advice. Have a nice night as well.” You were in bed smiling like an idiot over a direct message.

You quickly put your phone on the charger face down to avoid seeing any more notifications. You couldn’t believe what your life was like right now, nor did you have anyone to tell.

// parts

author's notes: this is a little different. i took some of what i wrote from a personal article i wrote an incorporated it in part ix. this is the "something different" i tried.

i know it's been a minute, and i hope this isn't underwhelming. life, i've been busy. this isn't proofread, so forgive me. i'll edit it tomorrow.

#lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #fanfic #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton fanfictions #fanfics #imagine by writinginfinte

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odinsblog · 9 months

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BREAKING: In response to the GOP's anti-voter ACE Act, Democrats are re-introducing the Freedom to Vote Act, which actually helps people vote.

What is the Freedom to Vote Act?

The Freedom to Vote Act is a revised voting rights bill based on the main pillars of the For the People Act.

Protecting the right to vote, ending partisan gerrymandering, and tackling dark money in politics.

It is the most important voting rights bill since the Civil Rights era.

The Freedom to Vote Act tackles corruption by ensuring that our government works for us.

Combats dark money loopholes that allow billionaires to buy our elections

Prevents foreign interference in U.S. campaigns

Strengthens campaign finance enforcement

Creates an innovative small donor financing option for House elections

The Freedom to Vote Act creates national standards for voting, ensuring all 50 states have...

Automatic voter registration

Same-day voter registration

Online voter registration

Early Voting Guaranteed two weeks incl. nights and weekends

The Freedom to Vote Act will protect our right to vote.

Expands no-excuse vote by mail for all eligible voters

Gets rid of long lines at the polls (and end unjust bans on food + water being distributed!)

Curbs discriminatory voter purges

Restores voting rights to people formerly incarcerated

The Freedom to Vote Act is essential for fair districting and will ban partisan gerrymandering.

Prevents subversion of the electoral process.

Protects election officials and poll workers

Combats mishandling of ballots and other sensitive materials

Republican States have passed almost 100 laws rolling back voting rights in the 10 years since the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act in Shelby County v. Holder.

In Georgia, the gap between Black voter turnout and white turnout in the 2022 election was the highest it had been since 2014. And in Alabama, the gap between turnout has *tripled* since SCOTUS removed the protections of the Voting Rights Act in 2013.

Together with the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act, these are the bills that we need to see signed into law now.

Our democracy can’t wait.

#politics #voting rights #voter suppression #the freedom to vote act

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the-garbage-will-do-1138 · 4 months

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Another year gone

Tomorrow is a new year and I guess it’s my duty to give a life update so, here it goes.

January: I realized that the company I was working for was not one I wanted to stick with once I found out they had lied about the benefits package.

February: Taylor and I saw Footloose: The Musical at Beef & Boards

March: I celebrated my 30th birthday and it was a lot less terrifying than I thought it was gonna be.

April: Taylor and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary by driving to Cincinnati to see Lewis Capaldi in concert. It was such a good show and we were lucky to see him when we did. This turned out to be one of his last shows because of his medical issues making it more difficult for him to continue touring.

May: We celebrated Taylor’s 27th birthday

June: We just worked a lot.

July: We saw Taylor Swift in Cincinnati with some friends. It was an incredible experience that I’ll never forget.

Taylor’s dad passed away mid-July

The Barbie movie came out and is now one of my favorite movies I’ve ever seen

I was cast in and started rehearsal for my first Shakespeare play, Love’s Labour’s Lost, as Boyet.

August: We saw five different bands play in August. Amon Amarth, a Viking metal band opened for Ghost at the TCU Amphitheater and we were able to get barrier in the pit. Insane show where Taylor and I both got really sunburnt and heat sick but it was worth it. Two days later we drove back to Indy to the Ruoff Music Center and saw three bands I’ve loved since I was a teenager, Simple Plan, Sum 41, and The Offspring. Yet another incredible show. To finish out the month, Taylor and I were both cast in Creative Arts Councils production of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” It was Taylor’s first time ever acting in a play and I was really proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone.

September: I performed in “Love’s Labour’s Lost” with Parlor City Shakespeare Company. We had three different performances and they all had a really good turnout. Right after finishing Shakespeare, rehearsals for Sleepy Hollow started.

We had another concert scheduled for the 22nd but Taylor wasn’t feeling well so we sold the tickets and stayed home. Then, September 26th happened. The most important day of my life was just a normal Tuesday for everybody else. While at work, Taylor still wasn’t feeling well and decided to take a pregnancy test during our lunch break. The results were literally instant and something we had tried for 5+ years and actually given up on had happened. Taylor was pregnant! (We didn’t go back to work that day)

October: My employer informed me that the company doesn’t give out raises so I tripled my efforts to find a new job.

We went to our first ultrasound and the baby looked like a seahorse. The pregnancy was confirmed by several doctors and it became very real.

We went to Beef & Boards again, this time joined by Bart, and saw “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” I’ve seen dozens of shows by them and this was one of the best.

The last weekend of the month we had four performances of Sleepy Hollow and Taylor became a thespian

We officially announced the pregnancy to the world.

I took my one week of vacation and started a new job with actual benefits and a $3 pay raise. I never came back from my vacation. I texted my resignation to my boss because that was the level of respect they had earned from me and his response was “Good deal.” Good riddance.

November: November was spent with me getting the hang of my new job. I also cooked a 22lb Turkey for thanksgiving and it only took 6 hours and two mental break downs but it sure tasted good.

December: Had a work Christmas party and actually got enough (paid) time off to make this holiday season memorable. Our last Christmas as a family of two was one of our best.

All in all, 2023 has been one of the best years of my life. I’m still broke but it’s slowly getting better. I love my new job because I’m respected and I actually matter. I love my wife and family and am so excited to welcome our baby in May of 2024. If this is what life in your 30s is like, I’m glad to be out of my 20s. It gets better and I’m glad I’m here to experience it!

#happy new year #2024 #it gets better

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isaac2791 · 1 year

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God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.

C.S. LEWIS

There are times for all of us when God “shouts” at us through the trials and pain of life. And when He does, it’s really important that we give Him our full attention through sincere and heartfelt communication.

Thankfully, God hasn’t left us alone to figure out how to pray through the pain of life. He’s given us a helpful guide in the apostle Paul, who said in Romans 8:26– 27...

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (ESV).

Between now and eternity, the forecast is pretty clear: Life is going to be filled with trials and difficulties. And one of the main things that will help see you through any storm you face is prayer. It’s an incredible source of help when things are difficult!

If you have certain times when you pray on a normal day, it ought to be doubled or tripled when you encounter difficulties.

Let the Pain Prompt More Prayer. This may sound obvious, but make sure you’re praying when you encounter the difficulties in life. If you have certain times when you pray on a normal day, it ought to be doubled or tripled when you encounter difficulties.

So many Christians just plow on ahead and don’t communicate with God when the pain of life hits.

Sure, we’ll email our friends, text a family member, or grumble about things when we get home.

But God would rather, when we hit difficulties, to turn to Him in prayer. It’s such an incredible resource in the Christian life that many of us leave on the table, but the Bible, here in Romans and so many other places, constantly beckons the people of God to pray, especially when we’re hurting.

Psalm 34:17 says, “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” What David is saying here is that there’s a kind of responsiveness of God when we pray.

And although He may not always calm the storm, He will certainly bring some level of deliverance to the life of those who call out to Him in prayer.

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customessaypapers · 2 years

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Cardiovascular Disease Prevention Program for African American Women

Part I: Diagnosis Mission Statement To reduce the prevalence of cardiovascular disease among low- to middle-income African American women aged 35-50 years old living in the south-central Houston area by providing education regarding physical and mental health and their impacts on cardiovascular disease risk factors. Cardiovascular Disease Among African American Women Cardiovascular disease (CVD) is the leading cause of death for men and women in the United States, and there is a disproportionate burden of CVD seen in minority populations (Saban, Tell, & Janusek, 2019). African-American women (AAW) have the highest CVD rates in comparison to other ethnicities and genders. Compared to a prevalence of 36.1% in non-Hispanic white women, the prevalence of CVD in AAW was 48.3% in 2012 (Braun, Wilbur, Buchholz, Schoeny, Miller, Fogg, Volgman, & McDevitt, 2016). Moreover, cardiovascular health disparities among AAW are not fully explained by traditional risk factors (Saban et al., 2019). AAW experience additional CVD risk factors not experienced by men or women of other ethnic groups. Firstly, AAW have the highest rates for many CVD risk factors such as obesity, diabetes, hypertension, and physical inactivity (Ebong & Breathett, 2020). The article by Ebong & Breathett (2020) list many characteristics about AWW. They found that AAW are the least likely group to participate in physical activity, and the majority of AAW do not eat their recommended amounts of fruits and vegetables. They write that the reason for this is likely a result of deep-rooted, constant institutional and cultural oppression. In addition to the systemic formulation of racially segregated environments, AAW often live in areas with limited access to resources, limited educational opportunities, inadequate and/or unaffordable housing, high crime rates, and limited access to and/or prejudicial health care services. These circumstances experienced uniquely by AAW facilitates health behaviors associated with the development of CVD. Secondly, AAW are more likely to be affected by psychosocial risk factors than women of other ethnic groups (Copeland, Newhill, Foster, Braxter, Doswell, Lewis, & Eack, 2017). Many AAW must cope with chronic life stressors associated with racism and discrimination. In the study by Copeland et al. (2017), the authors write that the negative emotional response precipitated from such stressors elevates cortisol, adrenaline, and epinephrine levels, and overall heightens cardiovascular activity. Chronically, this physiological response increases the chances of developing CVD. Because the traditional risk factors for CVD do not explain the health disparities seen in AAW, researchers have been looking into the connection between mental health status and CVD. Studies have found that individuals suffering from depression are 50% more likely to develop CVD, and AAW report symptoms of depression at higher rates in comparison to their White counterparts (Copeland et al., 2017). A possible explanation for this is the systemic disadvantages experienced by AAW and their resulting effects on mental health. Psychosocial stressors affect minority populations at a greater rate, especially African Americans. Remaining in a constant fight-or-flight mode physiologically can lead to an accumulation of visceral fat, high blood pressure, and hyperglycemia (Sims, Glover, Gebreab, & Spruill, 2020). Researchers also suggest AAW’s poor health behaviors may be a coping response to psychosocial stressors (Sims et al., 2020). This would explain the higher rates of diabetes, obesity, and hypertension among AAW. As stated by Copeland et al. (2017), the aforementioned bio-psycho-social factors that contribute to the poor mental health outcomes of AAW are collectively recognized as the ‘triple jeopardy’ of being African American, female, and impoverished. Fortunately, researchers have found a connection between positive mental outlooks and lower CVD risks. Some studies show it is possible to reduce CVD risk when mental health issues are addressed. The study by Saban et al. (2019) found that resiliency can reduce the effect social stressors have on an individual’s risk of developing CVD and can improve risk factors. They write that higher resilience is seen to reduce the activation of stress response hormones and improve the physiologic response to stress. Another psychological attribute being studied associated with improved cardiovascular outcomes is gratitude. Evidence demonstrates that dispositional gratitude can actually foster protective factors against depression and improves the effect psychosocial stressors have on the body (Cousin, Redwine, Bricker, Kip, & Buck, 2020). Strengthening an individual’s sense of gratitude and spirituality is a possible way to improve AAW cardiovascular health. Why This is a Problem First and foremost, this is a public health problem because the observed disparities are a result of sociocultural risk factors that are otherwise completely preventable. Primary prevention practices, such as visiting a doctor and getting regular health screenings, should be a priority for this population, but evidence shows African Americans are less likely to participate in routine medical checkups compared to White Americans (Smedley, Stith, & Nelson, 2003). AAW who seek healthcare to improve their CVD risk factors often run into the same racial and discriminatory exposures within the health care system that they do in other areas of society. To make matters worse, the strongest evidence for the existence of racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare is found in studies of cardiovascular care, as noted by Smedley et al. (2003). Among their discoveries, researchers found that there is an underuse of treatment services amid racial and ethnic minorities. This either suggests that physicians are less likely to offer treatment services to minority patients, or minority patients are more likely to refuse treatment services. They also find that there is evidence supporting the theory that the race of a patient influences physicians’ decisions regarding diagnosis and treatment recommendations. In one study, physicians rated African American patients as least intelligent, more likely to abuse drugs/alcohol, and more likely to fail to comply with and participate in treatment protocols. AAW that seek to improve their cardiovascular health may be essentially deemed not worthy enough due to a physician’s implicit negative racial stereotype. Though physicians may be acting on their implicit biases, but AAW are still being negatively affected. Additionally, there is a legacy of distrust among healthcare providers and racial minorities in America that may make AAW less likely to accept healthcare services and/or procedures. In the same study by Smedley et al. (2003), evidence suggests minority patients may be more receptive and trusting of physicians who are minorities themselves. However, minority physicians represent only 9% of the physicians in the country; of the 9%, one-third is African-American. AAW who have perceived discrimination from White physicians are less likely to seek health care and are even less likely to find a healthcare provider they feel they can trust. This could be the reason AAW are more likely to avoid healthcare services altogether. Existing Programs Successful Programs AAW are more likely to have multiple CVD risk factors at one time, so interventions that target multiple risk factors are necessary for success (Ebong & Breathett, 2020). The Love Your Heart program was a 12-week nutrition and physical activity intervention that aimed to reduce cardiovascular risk factors among African American women living in the Boston area (Rodriguez, Christopher, Johnson, Wang, & Foody, 2012). This program was culturally tailored for African American women, and it used a self-help group methodology to address the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects that affect weight and cardiovascular health. The intervention included fitness classes, educational sessions spotlighting the importance of nutrition and exercise on CVD, group meetings and discussions, and personalized wellness plans. The results of the study found significant improvements in CVD risk factors. Comparing the pre-and post-test data, participants reduced their systolic blood pressure, body-mass-index, body weight, and waist circumference. This program highlights the effectiveness of community-based interventions that combine health information, individual support, and group support to lower CVD risk. Another successful program, Prime Time Sister Circles, was a 10-week health program that aimed to improve diet and increase physical activity among African American women aged >35 years across the country (Gaston, Porter, & Thomas, 2007). It utilized the Social Cognitive Theory and Transtheoretical Model for program creation. The intervention was a curriculum-based approach to behavioral change and incorporated a support group appeal. The groups met once a week for 10 weeks and received information about spirituality, self-esteem, self-care, nutrition, exercise, CVD, and diabetes. This program is unique in that it also targeted stress-relief strategies. The results of the study found improvements in the participants self-reported stress management, physical activity, and nutrition. Data also shows that the program improved participants knowledge of CVD risk factors and attitudes towards prioritizing their health. This study is yet another that emphasizes the value culturally tailored interventions in support group settings have on reducing CVD risk in African American women. Unsuccessful Programs STEPS (Sisters Together Empowered for Prevention and Success) to a Healthier Heart was a 12- week, quasi-experimental, pre-posttest educational intervention that targeted AAW between 35 and 65 years of age (Brown, Alexander, Cummins, Price, & Anderson-Booker, 2018). The purpose of this health program was to assess if AAW’s general knowledge about risk factors of heart disease improved with participation in informational and physical activity sessions. The women chose to participate in either the intervention group, which involved information and physical activity sessions, or the comparison group, which received an informational packet only. The Coronary Heart Disease Knowledge Test was used to assess each participant’s knowledge of heart disease risk factors. This program was ultimately unsuccessful because, in comparing the pre- and posttest data, no significant changes occurred and there were no between-group differences. One possible reason this program was unsuccessful could be due to the use of standard surveys, and future studies should use a more reliable and valid measurement to assess knowledge among AAW. Another possibility is due to the intervention’s short duration with little attention on physical activity. This program underscores the importance of multicomponent, culturally tailored interventions that address multiple risk factors for AAW for success. Part II: Planning Program Goals and Objectives Program Goal Number 1 Reduce the impact psychosocial stressors have on the priority population’s CVD risk. Project Objective By December 2021, when comparing pre-post test scores, one-half of the participants will report lower general stress as measured by the general stress subscale of the Chronic Stress Questionnaire (CSQ). Health Education Objectives - By the end of the first trimester, the majority of the participants will be able to list three healthy and three unhealthy stress and anxiety relief practices. - Upon completion of the program, one-half of the participants will be able to identify stressors associated with racism and discrimination and effective coping methods. - Six months after completion of the program, one-half of the participants will be able to list at least one coping and/or stress management skill utilized daily. Project Objective By June 2022, one-fourth of participants will report higher levels of resilience, in comparison to pre-test scores, as measured by the Conner-Davidson Resilience Scale (CD-RISC-25). Health Education Objectives - By the end of the second trimester, more than half of the participants will be able to identify factors that foster resilience. - Upon completion of the program, one-fourth of the participants will be able to list three self-reflection practices. Program Goal Number 2 Increase participation in physical activity and/or exercise that targets cardiac health among individuals in the priority population. Project Objective By June 2022, one-fourth of participants will engage in thirty minutes of moderate physical activity at least 3 times a week. Health Education Objectives - By the end of the first trimester, more than half of the participants will be able to identify three exercises that improve heart health. - By the end of the first trimester, the majority of the participants will be able to identify three CVD risk factors associated with physical inactivity. - One-half of the participants will be able to locate areas in the community with gyms and/or green space upon completion of the program. Program Goal Number 3 Increase the awareness of primary and secondary prevention practices and their importance among individuals in the priority population. Project Objective By December 2023, yearly health care checkups among the participants will increase by 25%. Health Education Objectives - By the end of the second trimester, the majority of the participants will be able to identify two primary and two secondary prevention practices. - By the end of the second trimester, the majority of the participants will be able to identify three CVD risk factors that are easily preventable by modifying behaviors. - Upon completion of the program, one-third of the participants will be able to locate the nearest healthcare center in their community accessible to them. - Upon completion of the program, one-fourth of the participants will be able to state the recommended schedule for healthcare screenings. Theoretical Support of Intervention Due to the high rates of depression seen among AAW, successful interventions must address both the physical and mental risk factors for CVD. The Transtheoretical Model (TTM) and the Social Cognitive Theory (SCT) will both be used to guide the development of this program (McKenzie, Neiger, & Thackeray, 2013). According to McKenzie et al. (2013), the TTM posits that behavior change happens over time, and that people move through five distinct “stages of change” phases in the process of adopting a health behavior change. This model has been effective for a variety of health behavior changes because it considers that people may begin in different stages. Most individuals will not respond to action-oriented behavior change programs because the majority are not prepared to act. Specific principles are applied at specific stages to maximize efficacy and ensure individuals move forward to the next stage. In other words, individuals are matched with interventions depending on the stage they are in. The SCT posits that learning happens in a social context. Individual experiences, environmental factors, and the actions of others influence health behavior. An important component of the SCT is reinforcement. Theorists believe reinforcement is essential for learning. Moreover, reinforcement with the addition of an individual’s expectations of the outcome is what determines behavior. The reason I chose to use two theories is because mental needs to be addressed at a personal level, however, past programs have shown that AAW respond to interventions best when group support and social interactions are given. I chose the TTM because it addresses each participant as individuals. Some AAW may fare better in the face of adversity than others, so the mental health status of the participants is going to vary. Additionally, though some participants will share the same barriers to action, others are going to have barriers no one else has. This is the best intrapersonal level theory to use for many reasons. Firstly, we can implement interventions that can best facilitate change based on the stage the participants are in. Interventions that require immediate action will lose the participants that are not ready for action. By allowing the participants to progress through the stages on their own time ensures maximum participants retention in the program. The second reason I chose this theory was because of how well the Processes of Change correlate to what our participants are likely to go through throughout the intervention. For example, after learning more about the psychosocial factors, participants may begin to notice each time they are subjected to toxic, negative emotions due to their environment, which is explained by the process of dramatic relief. This will accompany the realization of the effects it has on them and their environment, which is explained by the constructs of self- and environmental reevaluation. Further, the intervention’s aim of finding new ways to cope with stressors and fostering resiliency is explained by the construct of counterconditioning. Lastly, as explained by the construct of social liberation, being able to effectively cope with negative emotions can/will allow the participants to focus their attention on all the positive experiences they have. To target the interpersonal level, I chose the SCT because it addresses the influence that observational learning has on behavior. As stated above, similar programs with the most success have included group support/meetings in the intervention. Participants credited their continued participation and enthusiasm to the relationships they created with others and the desire to help one another succeed. Seeing others succeed due to a behavior change influences others to adopt that change as well. I also chose this theory because it addresses the idea of monitoring and adjusting behavior to gain control over it. This is the best interpersonal level theory to use because of the emphasis it has on learning in social contexts. We already know AAW respond best with group support, and the SCT has roots in learning from and believing in others. AAW who may not feel confident in the behavior changes will be encouraged by seeing other women succeed, or they will be encouraged to try when they see the support other participants are giving them. For example, participants will gain knowledge and skills about how to eat healthy after learning about healthy dinner options, as explained by the construct of behavioral capability. When a participant shares their meal plan that they have been following, positive feedback and praise from program instructors and other participants will help to maintain that participant’s behavior change, which is explained by direct reinforcement. On the other hand, participants who are struggling with that same behavior change may be encouraged to work for it after seeing the commendation others receive, as explained by vicarious reinforcement. To maintain this behavior, the participant will have to monitor and adjust their behavior, which is explained by the construct of self-control. As their self-control increases and their healthy eating behavior is maintained, they will gain confidence in their ability to create meaningful change in their life, as explained by self-efficacy. Read the full article

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researchpapers4me · 2 years

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Cardiovascular Disease Prevention Program for African American Women

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drjeandoddspethealthresource · 5 years

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Can Inflammation Ever Be Good for the Body?

Oftentimes when we discuss inflammation on Dr. Dodds’ Pet Health Resource Blog, we focus on the bad chronic inflammation that could result in long-term diseases. Flipping the conversation on its head: can inflammation ever be good for the body? Yes; it can.

Acute inflammation (short-term) is the body’s defense system protecting itself from an injury or infection. Think about a cut on your skin. You may put a bandage on it or maybe some antibacterial cream. No matter what, you will more than likely have short term inflammation signaled by redness and slight swelling. This is the body rushing blood, fluid and proteins to the cut, which generates swelling and heat to protect and repair damaged tissue. This reaction is called the “Triple Response of Lewis” that occurs from an injury to the skin, which produces an initial red area, followed by a flare around that area, and then a wheal. It is due to the release of histamine. The outcome is setting the stage for healing. If the cut does not heal or gets worse, you should consult a doctor for yourself or veterinarian for your companion pets.

If you or your companion pet twist a joint like an ankle, the body surrounds the area with inflammatory swelling to prevent further injury. It should eventually heal over a few days. You should definitely take it easy on the injured area to speed up the healing process and make the pain go away. The opposite of acute joint injury is chronic tissue inflammation, which predisposes to infection and eventually, if not addressed, can lead to obesity and even cancer. These injuries need prompt medical attention.

With pets, it would be best to go straight to your veterinarian since they could have bruised or broken a bone.

Fever is another inflammatory example of the body’s natural defense mechanism against any foreign invaders. In this instance, white blood cells spit out interleukins (a group of cytokine molecules that regulate the body’s cellular immune response to help fight bacteria. If a fever spikes to a dangerous level that may compromise the brain, we clearly need to consult a doctor or veterinarian. However, a short-term low-level fever is the body working to help set the stage for healing.

We have known that exercising is good for the body, brain and emotional state for centuries. The Greeks coveted muscular bodies. Colloquialisms we use these days include “ripped” or “cut” to describe a muscular body. Those words are definitely apropos – as we rip it apart to cause it to regenerate.

Think about it, a new workout routine or a particular exercise is first general soreness, which then signals progress. This soreness comes from natural muscle cell inflammation and damage. Inflammation rushes immune cells to the location to those sore areas to repair the muscle damage. In fact, lack of an adequate inflammatory response contributes to poor muscle regeneration.

We know that exercise helps combat obesity, which results from the chronic cellular oxidative stress of inflammation that results in disease. So, exercise – which produces good inflammation – then has an anti-inflammatory effect by helping to control weight.

Flipping the Inflammation Protocol

For years, the typical health care protocol was to suppress inflammation. The arsenal of treatment options that are available and still used include acetaminophen such as Tylenol to reduce fevers, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAID) like ibuprofen/Advil, or steroids. The biggest conundrum has been the side effects with each of these therapies. Acetaminophen could damage the liver, ibuprofen could cause gastrointestinal bleeding, and steroids could create a number of issues like weight gain, and adrenal or kidney damage. Researchers are actively studying how to suppress inflammation without generating these deleterious problems.

Indeed, it has been known for a long time that excess anti-inflammatory medication actually slows the wound healing of acute tissue inflammation. So now the question becomes: how can we utilize the positive effects and control the negative effects of tissue inflammation?

Scientists are also thinking “outside of the box” of suppression: perhaps by inflaming another part of the body so that it can combat chronic or bad inflammation. This approach could be risky and so they are proceeding cautiously.

For instance, a group of researchers in 2011 noted that activating two proteins via inflammation helps to maintain normal blood sugar levels in obese and diabetic mice. Essentially, if we increase the levels of these inflammatory signals, they could actually be therapeutic in diabetes and obesity. Problem is though, inflaming them might worsen other inflammatory diseases like asthma and rheumatoid arthritis.

Clearly, while inflammation can be good tissue response , we need to be able to harness, tame, and calm it down when it becomes overactive and bad.

W. Jean Dodds, DVM Hemopet / NutriScan 11561 Salinaz Avenue Garden Grove, CA 92843

References

Anft, Michael. “Understanding Inflammation.” Johns Hopkins Health Review, 2016, http://www.johnshopkinshealthreview.com/issues/spring-summer-2016/articles/understanding-inflammation.

Lee, Jaemin et al. “p38 MAPK-mediated regulation of Xbp1s is crucial for glucose homeostasis”, Nature Medicine, vol. 17,10 1251-60. 4 Sep. 2011, doi:10.1038/nm.2449, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4397266/.

Lu, Haiyan et al. “Macrophages recruited via CCR2 produce insulin-like growth factor-1 to repair acute skeletal muscle injury”, FASEB journal : official publication of the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology, vol. 25,1 (2011): 358-69, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3005436/.

#acute inflammation #chronic inflammation #cooking fever #triple response of lewis #hemopet #dr. jean dodds #sprained ankle #scratch

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mickstart · 2 years

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I can't believe mercedes did this to lewis

Okay I am also mad at merc and I agree they have 100% dropped the ball this season. But also... I am a little concerned that this is arguably the result of triple headers and the shipping delay overworking the crew, not merc deliberately cheating, and the response to that from both the fia AND from us is "merc you fucked up" and not "this establishes precedent the fia needs to do something about this going forward."

IK merc said they don't want to contest this but I would be doing it just for safety's sake. This time it's a minor flaw in the DRS flap that caused no impact on performance, what happens if it's something in the engine? the brakes? What happens the next time there's a triple header and a logistics delay (it WILL happen) and the mechanics are tired?

TL;DR I totally agree Merc have fucked Lewis this year and we should be throwing shit at them for that, but in this particular instance it feels kind of like blaming overworked employees for a policy driven by people much more powerful than them who want more money.

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themosleyreview · 2 years

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The Mosley Review: The King’s Man

There aren’t too many franchises that have the ability to do what these films have done. The first film opened a new avenue of where fun spy films could go with outstanding action sequences and a very engaging story. The second film expanded the world, but went too overboard with style and action that it forgot its roots. It forgot what made it special in the first place and it was the well plotted out story and characters. Well the filmmaker behind this franchise listened and decided to pull back the reigns and give an origin story that lacked the insane action of the second film and focused on telling an emotional and surprisingly powerful prequel story. This film takes us all the way back to the World War 1 era and shows the beginnings of the secret organization. What I loved about the film is that it was not only a war film, but a story of redemption, responsibility and a family drama that's encased in a spy thriller. It was a positive and also a negative. At times the film felt like it struggled with what type of story its trying to tell or what tone is relevant at the time. Are we hunting down famous historical villains and stopping them from destroying countries through war? Is this the beginning of The Kingsman or is this a coming of age story where a son is wanting to fight in a war his father condemns? Its all of those combined and it was pretty messy tonally, but somehow it focuses up in an epic finale.

Ralph Fiennes is no slouch when it comes to delivering a great performance and as Orlando Oxford, he did something spectacular. The character was once a man of action but now to raise his family, he became a pacifist in a very violent world. I loved seeing Ralph work through the characters' delimma on when to or even how to act without breaking his vow. There is so much heartbreak behind his eyes and as the story progresses, you see him use that as motivation. Harris Dickinson was excellent as his son Conrad and I loved the chemistry and friction between them as Conrad wants to serve his country, but his father won't let him. Harris was great in every scene and I loved when he was working with Ralph the most as the heart of the story surrounds them. He had one of the best bloody, dirty and graphic fights scenes in the film that felt so primal and real. Gemma Arterton does what she does best in playing the female presence and sometimes the voice of reason in the film as Polly Wilkins. She gets to have alot of fun in the film and some great one liners. Djimon Honsou was awesome as Orlando's family bodyguard and bestfriend Shola. I know he may come off as a servant at times, but I loved that he was so much more that. Tom Hollander is doing triple duty as King George, Kaiser Wilhelm and Tsar Nicholas. He plays them all so distinctively that it was easy to tell them apart, but it’s fun to see the progression of each of their beards. Matthew Goode was awesome as Morton and I liked that he had such a great sword fight towards the latter half of the film. Rhys Ifans steals the film as he is absolutely unrecognizable as Grigori Rasputin. I loved how he played with the history of the character's connection to healing abilities and I liked how he was a physical menace in combat. His fight scene was visually kinetic as he incorporates Russian dance into his fighting style.

The score by Matthew Margeson and Dominic Lewis was magnificent and carried the film along in the more somber moments. The action scenes and especially during the war portion was awesome and chilling. The cinematography was amazing and stunning to behold. The action in the film was toned down in the best way and you felt every punch, explosion and blade puncture. The sound design in the film was especially crisp in a great number of scenes. The main problem I had with the film is that it was trying to juggle too many themes at once and it made it kind of hard to focus on what type of film it was trying to be. It really made the feel seem to drag on for way too long. In the end, this was a welcomed scaling down from the over the top nature of The Golden Circle and a fun World War 1 action spy drama that delivers on engaging characters and great action. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading.

#the king's man #ralph fiennes #gemma arterton #djimon hounsou #rhys ifans #matthew goode #tom hollander #harris dickinson

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sdvvillagers · 3 years

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Fic - Gus

Word Count: 4,475

Summary: Gus has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Notes: Thank you to @purpleandgreen13 (purpleandgreen on AO3) for coming up with this prompt, it was such a fun and inspiring one to work with! You’re the best! ^.^

From the moment Gus woke up, he should have known that today was going to be an awful day. Water dripped from the ceiling of his room, plopping onto his forehead and waking him with a start. The rainstorm forecasted for the day had begun, revealing a leak in the roof that Gus hadn’t known was there until the rain unceremoniously woke him from his slumber. After clambering out of bed in shock and confusion, Gus wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked upward as another drop of rain landed right in his eye.

“Son of a-,” Gus mumbled, giving himself a wide berth from the bed to avoid getting wet any further.

His sheets had already soaked up some of the moisture, but the last thing he needed was a soaking wet mattress. Gus rushed to the storage room to grab an empty bucket to collect as much rain water as he could until Robin could come by to fix his roof. Hopefully it wouldn’t be long or else he’d be back and forth all day dumping the bucket. It was expected to rain heavily all day long.

The next sign that Gus’ day would be terrible arrived only moments later when Gus stepped on a small puddle of water that had dripped onto the floor, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward. He slammed his back hard against the footboard of his bed, causing him to yelp out in pain. His already bad back was now throbbing in pain. Wincing, Gus rose from the floor and hobbled across the room to at least change out of his wet pajamas and into something warm and dry.

Upon opening his closet, Gus reached for a plain t-shirt and his favorite orange jacket. It wasn’t until the jacket was on and he reached down to zip it up that he noticed the huge rip in the sleeve of his jacket. It was likely Emily could mend it for him, but it was another rough blow to his already awful morning. Gus elected for one of his lesser preferred jackets instead.

Being awake far earlier than he was used to, Gus shuffled out of his room into the kitchen of the saloon. Usually he wouldn’t wake up until almost lunch time due to being up late every night for his business, but with the rain waking him up so early, he figured he would at least fix himself a meal. It wasn’t often he ate breakfast anyway, so treating himself to a complete breakfast and a glass of homemade orange juice seemed a decent enough consolation prize. Robin’s shop wouldn’t even open for another twenty minutes anyway.

Gus stepped into the walk-in refrigerator in the kitchen and began pulling the ingredients he needed to make his breakfast. Once he had everything in-hand, he turned to leave and heard a high-pitched squeak. For a moment, it sounded like a mouse. It was enough of a distraction for Gus to momentarily forget where he was or what he was doing and the armful of ingredients he was carrying fell to the floor as Gus accidentally dropped them. The squeak, it turned out, came from a squeaky floorboard he had stepped on and wasn’t a rodent at all. Gus almost wished it was, at least it would have justified his flustered response. Instead, all he was left with was no ingredients for breakfast and a huge mess to clean while his back was out of sorts.

It took over a half hour for Gus to completely clean up the spill, the cracked eggs seeped down into every crevice and cranny of the walk-in fridge. Not to mention, it was a very chilly ordeal to clean a mess inside of such a cold space. Gus had lost all track of time while he was cleaning the mess in the fridge and all thoughts of calling Robin to repair his roof had left his mind until the job was done. By the time he realized it, he glanced at the clock and saw that she’d been open for fifteen minutes already. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

“Hello there, you’ve reached the Bennetts!” Demetrius’ voice answered cheerfully when Gus finally picked up the phone to call.

“Hey Demetrius, I’m in a bit of a bind,” Gus began, getting right to his point. There was no time for pleasantries today. “The roof of the saloon is leaking. Right over my bed, actually. Any chance Robin can head out here and fix it? I’ve got a bucket under there right now until she can make it.”

“Oh no, I wish I could say she could but she’s actually out of the house right now,” Demetrius answered apologetically. “Her parents called her first thing this morning, her father is ill and she needed to head out to help her mother.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Gus replied sincerely. As unfortunate as his situation was, he really was sorry to hear that there were health issues in Robin’s family. It was a situation where Gus couldn’t in all conscience be mad at Robin for being unavailable despite his desperation.

Once he hung up with Demetrius, Gus heaved a long, heavy sigh. Someone in town had to be able to help him, there was no way he could put it off. There weren’t many other people in town Gus could think to ask, but he started at the top of the list and worked his way down. Sebastian seemed like a decent possibility given that his mother was the very woman Gus needed for the job, but Seb made it quite clear that he had nothing to do with her work at all. Shane was next on the list, he was actually quite the handyman, but the call went straight to voicemail. Gus had to assume he was working at Joja today and had his phone silenced. Alex at the very least was strong, but as Gus suspected he had no knowledge of how to fix a leaky roof. Gus was even desperate enough to call Lewis who had been the town’s handyman before he was mayor, but of course his old age made him too hesitant to help Gus out. Not that Gus could blame him, of course, but it was maddening how limited his options were. He’d have to call a company in Grampleton or even in the city which would end up costing him at least triple what Robin would charge.

One very expensive phone call later, Gus managed to get an appointment with a roofer from Grampleton for 4:00pm , right when the dinner rush would be starting. As anticipated, the flat fee was already more expensive, plus additional fees for travel and late notice. Until they arrived, Gus would have to keep shuffling buckets around to catch as much water as he could.

By the time the roofer was sorted, Gus realized that there wasn’t much time left until the saloon opened at noon for lunch. Having dropped a substantial amount of ingredients earlier in the morning, Gus knew a trip to Pierre’s was necessary. It wasn’t far to Pierre’s store but in this rainstorm, Gus knew he’d need every protection even for such a short walk. After another trip to his room for his raincoat, rain boots, and umbrella, Gus was ready to face the elements. With his back still aching, Gus crossed town square slowly and carefully towards Pierre’s shop. The last thing he needed was to try and rush to get out of the rain and fall once more. He chuckled to himself at the thought that Doctor Harvey would commend him for choosing safety first.

The trip to Pierre’s was just as frustrating as the rest of his morning had been. It took him quite some time just to get out of his wet rain gear and Pierre snapped at him for leaving a puddle by the entrance even though it wasn’t exactly something he could help in a rainstorm. Pierre’s selection wasn’t great either, he was out of stock on a few ingredients that Gus needed so Gus would have to tweak his menu slightly to accommodate. He knew he would get an earful that night when Shane couldn’t order pepper poppers. When Gus went to checkout, he realized he’d forgotten his money at home in his rush and had to practically beg Pierre to let him pay at a later time without having to go all the way back for his money. It wasn’t until he started to remind Pierre of his own ongoing tab at the saloon, within earshot of Caroline, that Pierre quickly shushed him and agreed that Gus could stop by the following day to pay for the groceries.

The short walk home was plagued with its own difficulties. Gus had three bags of groceries and with one hand holding his umbrella, the other had to carry three full shopping bags while trying to keep them dry under the umbrella. By the time he arrived back at the saloon, his hand was aching from carrying the weight of the groceries which had gotten slightly wet despite his best efforts. Even Gus himself had gotten wet, the jacket he’d put on that morning had a drenched collar and water had gotten into his rain boots and soaked his socks through. Another change of clothes for the day.

Lunch prep went fine enough other than a small slice of a finger while chopping onions. On any other day Gus would consider it a terrible misfortune but today, it was nothing compared to everything else that had happened so far. It wasn’t serious enough to warrant a visit to Doctor Harvey, thank goodness. Nothing a bandage couldn’t fix. It did make the rest of his lunch prep awkward and it certainly hurt, but the pain at least distracted him a bit from his aching back.

Because of the rain, the lunch “rush” wasn’t exactly a rush at all, which was fine with Gus on a day like today. Only a few people stopped by for lunch, mostly to-go orders. Ordinarily he’d feel bored with nothing to do or worried by a lack of paying customers, but he welcomed the chance to take a break after his busy morning. His back was still aching from his fall and his finger throbbed uncomfortably under its bandage. The worst he could say about the lunch crowd was that any time a customer entered the saloon, it meant drying the rain puddles left behind in their wake once they left. Of course there was also the constant back and forth from the bar to his room to switch out buckets, a task he had to do almost every thirty minutes.

At 3:30 he could hear the door of the saloon open while he was in his bedroom, switching out yet another bucket under the leaky roof. By now his back was on fire from the constant back and forth, lifting heavy buckets, and mopping up the puddles of water in his room and at the entrance of the saloon. When he heard the door open, he heaved a sigh of relief knowing that help was on the way. It was no doubt Emily arriving for her evening shift. Gus was hoping she could take on a bit of the work tonight to give him some reprieve. If he could manage to only get away with cooking for the night, he’d be happy. Yet when Gus reentered the saloon, he was surprised to find Haley standing near the doorway looking around for him.

“Oh, there you are!” Haley huffed, sounding incredibly impatient and irritated. “Honestly, we thought you were dead, you haven’t answered your phone all day.”

While Haley stood in the entrance, arms folded in annoyance, Gus rushed over to his phone to see what was the matter. He didn’t have a cell phone as he’d never really had a need for one so he relied on a landline at the bar for any of his phone calls. Gus groaned when he noticed he hadn’t properly set the handset back down on the charging dock and it had run out of battery.

“Geez, kid, I’m sorry,” Gus sighed, setting the phone back on the dock to start charging. Haley huffed impatiently in response.

“I had to head all the way over here in the pouring rain just to tell you that Emily can’t come in tonight, she’s sick,” Haley went on, arms still folded angrily. “First she’s got me running over here for her, then off to Pierre’s to pick up a few things, then over to the clinic for some medicine. Ugh, this is the worst day ever.”

Gus had to try very hard not to burst out laughing at this response, if Haley’d known the kind of day he was having, she certainly wouldn’t consider a few errands ‘the worst day ever’. Instead Gus swallowed the urge to rant and smiled kindly in return. Kind smiles were his specialty, after all.

“Sorry to hear Emily’s sick,” Gus remarked in concern. “Need me to send you with any hot soup? Ginger ale?”

“We got it covered,” Haley replied. “I’m just gonna stock up on cans of soup at Pierre’s, it’s fine.”

Gus cringed knowing that his employee was sick at home and would be having canned soup as her meal, it was something that he would go out of his way to stop if it were any other day. But between the roof repairs, working solo for the night, and the numerous aches and pains he was experiencing, he begrudgingly accepted that canned soup would have to do. Maybe on another day he would have to make it up to Emily some other way.

“Tell Emily I hope she feels better soon but that she shouldn’t worry,” Gus went on, his kind smile still plastered onto his face. “I can handle things here.”

Haley left with a brief wave leaving Gus to sigh heavily the moment she was gone. He didn’t entirely believe that he could handle things on his own, but there wasn’t much of a choice. Business still had to continue with or without help.

4:00 came and went with no sign of the roofers. Gus was getting anxious awaiting their arrival, hoping they wouldn’t cancel on him. The buckets were filling up quickly as the rain poured down and now he was emptying full, heavy buckets every twenty minutes. It didn’t help that by 4:00, customers were already starting to pile in. While the lunch rush was light from people wanting to avoid being out in the rain, it seemed there was the opposite sentiment at dinnertime. Maybe everyone was sick of being cooped up at home, maybe they didn’t feel like cooking, maybe they liked the ambience of dining in a cozy saloon during a rainstorm. Either way, business started to pick up quickly and Gus had to strategize every minute to make sure no time, energy, or effort was wasted. He’d find himself taking orders one minute, slicing vegetables another, running to the back to empty and replace a bucket, then back to refill a drink, then off to the burners to cook a meal, all while coping with a bandaged finger and injured back. It was chaos. He’d long since stopped trying to squeeze drying the floor into the mix, instead he setup his wet floor sign and hoped for the best.

Just before 6:30, Gus could hear a clang outside followed by the sound of loud thuds overhead. The roofers must have arrived and already set to work. The activity on the roof caused many of the patrons to stare up at the ceiling in annoyance, it certainly wasn’t the most pleasant sound and a lot of the louder thuds and clangs were drowning out the jukebox. Gus could already see on the faces of his patrons that they were irritated and for that matter, he was irritated as well. Of course the work had to be done, but it was hard to focus with so many distractions. He found himself getting side-tracked in the middle of what he was doing and as a result, the orders were coming out more slowly. This was only causing further irritation among the bar patrons. Thankfully everyone seemed to realize many of the disadvantages Gus was working with between a bandaged finger, no extra employee to help, and a loud series of bangs outside beyond his control so no one ever complained to him. Still, he could sense the overall tension in the room and it only added pressure to an already stressful day. Luckily when Gus broke the news to Shane that pepper poppers weren’t an option, Shane opened his mouth to whine but stopped upon seeing the look on Gus’ face. Though Gus was ordinarily relaxed and downright jolly, he was sure that today his bad day was reflected in his mood.

It was only a half hour or so later that the doors of the saloon opened and in walked two men Gus had never seen before, absolutely drenched. It must be the roofers. Their entrance alone brought a massive puddle at the doorstep of the saloon and as they walked across the room, they left a trail of rainwater in their wake. Gus would be lucky if no one slipped and fell and slapped him with a lawsuit.

“Well we did a temporary fix for now to stop the leaking, but we’ll have to come back when it’s dry to fix it properly,” one of the men explained. “Though truth be told, that roof’s definitely seen better days. How old is it?”

“32 years?” Gus answered uncertainly, screwing up his face in thought to try and recall how old the roof could be.

“I guessed as much,” the other man replied. “We can fix your roof, but your best bet will just be to replace it.”

Gus’ stomach clenched at this news. Of course. Of course on one of the worst days he’s had, he now had to face the prospect of replacing the roof of the saloon. Even at Robin’s rate it would still be a costly project. Gus shook his head wearily and looked up to the roofers, not even trying to attempt his usual smile any longer.

“Well thanks for patching it up for the time being,” Gus sighed. “How much do I owe ya?”

“We’ll mail you the bill in three to five business days,” the first man answered. A bill that would no doubt include the travel surcharge as well as a late notice surcharge all to do a very temporary patch job.

When the roofers left, Gus stared down at the massive puddle of water in the middle of the saloon and spaced out for a moment, disconnecting entirely from everything going on around him. The day started poorly enough, but it never let up. It was the kind of day that beats you down until you just want to call it quits and crawl back into bed to start fresh in the morning. Gus didn’t often have bad days and when he did, his general optimism was enough to make the best of it. Today, there was nothing at all to make the best of, no silver lining he could find and no positive twist he could spin. Today was horrible. It only got worse when he snapped out of his brief moment of calm to the smell of smoke. The arrival of the roofers had snatched Gus’ attention from the fish he was cooking on the stove and now the filet was smoking in the pan, most definitely burnt by this point. Gus rushed to turn the burner off and removed the fish from the heat in a panic. Just when he felt seconds away from a total breakdown, he could hear a soft, gentle voice to his right.

“Gus… are you okay?”

Doctor Harvey tilted his head with an expression of concern, clearly noticing Gus’ flustered state. As usual whenever Gus was going through personal problems or having a rough day, he attempted to suck it up and put on a warm, welcoming face for his patrons. Many of them came to the saloon for an escape from their own problems, they certainly didn’t need to contend with his. But the moment Gus even tried to plaster a smile onto his face, he could feel his shoulders shaking as a swell of emotion took over. He was moments away from bursting into tears.

“I…” Gus began in a shaky voice, still grasping at the chance that he could play it off but ultimately failing. “No… no, I’m not.”

Harvey very suddenly looked on high alert and his friendly concern became far more serious.

“Are you in need of immediate medical attention?” Harvey asked suddenly, already rising from his barstool. As awful as his day had been, Gus couldn’t help but chuckle at Harvey’s reaction. He couldn’t explain why, but it was amusing how quickly Harvey was ready to jump into action if needed.

“No, no, nothing like that, Doctor H,” Gus replied, shaking his head. “Just a bad day. I won’t bend your ear, I’ll… I’ll handle it. Sorry for burning your fish, I’ll get started on another one right away.”

Before Gus could even turn around, however, he noticed Harvey shake his head vigorously and pull out the barstool next to him. Though Harvey was often quiet and reserved, preferring to keep to himself whenever he was at the saloon, in this moment he smiled a kind and welcoming smile as he patted the seat next to him.

“That won’t be necessary,” Harvey replied. “I can’t in good conscience contribute to your hectic night tonight. If you’d like to join me and talk about it you’re more than welcome to or you can take a seat behind the bar to unwind for a bit. Either way, you need a break. Doctor’s orders.”

It was strange how quickly all eyes in the saloon were on Gus the moment he stepped away from the bar, walked around the counter, and took a seat on the barstool beside Harvey. Everyone had only ever seen him behind the bar taking orders, filling drinks, or preparing food. Gus couldn’t recall a time he sat on the customer’s side of the bar during business hours and clearly no one else could either. A collective silence filled the room and no one even tried to hide their stares. Once Gus was seated next to Harvey, it was surprisingly Shane who spoke up first.

“You doin’ alright there, Gus?” Shane asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Just need a breather,” Gus replied as calmly as he was capable of. Clearly it wasn’t that calmly, though, because now all the patrons in the saloon looked just as concerned as Harvey had moments earlier.

“Is everything okay?” Marnie asked from the back of the saloon.

“Gus, what’s wrong?” Leah asked, dropping the sketch she was working on to step closer to the bar.

“Lookin’ a little pale there, Gussy, you’re scarin’ me,” Pam remarked, worry lining her face as she stared at Gus.

It seemed all of the attention in the saloon was on Gus at the moment and he wasn’t sure whether that was making this whole ordeal better or worse than it had been. Gus wasn’t used to the spotlight on him, he was used to being the one shining the spotlight on others, encouraging them to open up and talk about whatever they needed to talk about. Whether it was gushing over good news, venting over a rough day, or asking for advice from a friend, Gus was always there to support his patrons. It was odd to have the tables flipped and be the one in need of support.

“Nothin’, nothin’, it’s just… it’s just a rough day,” Gus tried to explain, but no one was buying it.

“Take a load off, Gus,” Marnie offered, pulling her chair out to give Gus a more comfortable seat than a barstool.

“I’ll grab some ice water, you should stay hydrated,” Harvey remarked, already heading to the back of the bar to prepare a glass.

“Want something to eat?” Pierre offered, bringing his plate of fried calamari over. “I’ve only had a few, you can take the rest.”

Leah hadn’t said another word, she had already started drying the large puddle in the middle of the saloon with towels she had found behind the bar. Within minutes, Gus was seated in one chair with his feet propped up on another, ice water and food on the table next to him, in the middle of a newly dried saloon. His patrons surrounded him, close enough to show their support but not so close that it was suffocating, and all looked at him expectantly.

“What else do you need?” Pam asked, rolling up her sleeves as though prepared to get to work on something, she just didn’t know what.

“I’d like to take a look at that bandaged finger,” Harvey pointed out, glancing at Gus’ injured hand.

“Who were those men that showed up outta nowhere?” Shane asked, glancing towards the door. “Did they say or do anything to you? I swear to Yoba if they did, I’ll…” Shane trailed off when he caught sight of a disapproving look from Marnie, but Gus caught Shane’s hands ball up aggressively into fists.

“I’m fine, really, I already feel so much better just to have all of your support,” Gus answered honestly. “Those were just roofers here to look at a leak in the roof, it’s fine. Really. It was just one of those days where everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong but putting it all into perspective, it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.”

It was true, Gus was already feeling better just in the few short minutes that had passed. Moments earlier he had been on the verge of a breakdown but it was incredible how quickly that changed just from receiving the love and support of his community. It was always Gus who was the one providing support, providing help, providing a shoulder to cry on. He’d never needed the same in return until now but seeing how his patrons responded in his moment of need was overwhelming. It warmed his heart to know that if he ever truly needed anyone, they would all be there for him, ready to help and support him. They proved it tonight. Today may have been one of the worst days Gus had had in quite some time, but tonight somehow proved in an odd and unexpected way to be one of the best.

#sdv #stardew valley #sdv gus #gus #harvey #haley #shane #pam #marnie #pierre #leah #sdv villagers #my fic

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dailyunsolvedmysteries · 3 years

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The Chicago Tylenol Murders

In September of 1982, a 12-year-old girl in Chicago passed away shortly after ingesting an Extra Strength Tylenol. That same day, a man died in a hospital after taking the same pill. Two of his family members followed. Over the course of the next few weeks, more seemingly healthy people in Chicago dropped dead, and the only thing they had in common was taking Extra Strength Tylenol shortly before their untimely death.

As bottles were recalled by Johnson & Johnson, it was discovered that many of the Extra Strength Tylenol pills had been laced with potassium cyanide. Once this was made public, Johnson & Johnson issued numerous ads and warnings to customers to avoid the product. The company began working fervently on a triple-sealed package that would prevent tampering. James William Lewis of New York City contacted Johnson & Johnson claiming that he was responsible for tampering with the bottles and filling the capsules with cyanide. He demanded $1 million in exchange for him to stop. He was arrested for the crime and although he wasn’t found guilty, he was still imprisoned for extortion. Even after Johnson & Johnson fortified their Tylenol bottles against tampering, the widespread news of what had happened in Chicago prompted crimes of a similar nature all around the country. Several more people died from cyanide poison found in other over-the-counter medication.

The Chicago Tylenol Murders is one of the few true crime stories to spark real change in the country. The quality control of pharmaceuticals increased tenfold, as did the security of their packaging. Although the FBI didn’t have enough evidence to convict anyone of the crime, it is widely believed that James William Lewis and his wife were indeed responsible

#chicago tylenol murders #true crime #crime #tylenol murders #post

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olivinesea · 3 years

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Space Is Only Noise If You Can See

a/n: I don’t know why I’m doing this. Maybe it’s because I handle change & uncertainty extremely poorly and that is all my life is rn. Maybe I just need to find out the extent of my evil powers. Regardless, you’re about to experience something unpleasant. TW major character death, suicide mentions, guns, violence, you name it, it’s happening. Only positive is I actually outlined the whole thing first this time so I know where we’re going (it’s not good). ~2.8k

Mr. Scratch surrendered. Or did he? Discuss.

It was always the smell that got to him. The sickly sweet scent of decaying flowers. He wondered who had made the decision to flood all funerals with the same noxious lilies. Didn’t that smell make anyone else feel ill? It lingered in the back of his throat, fogging his vision. He scowled at the offending arrangements—ostentatious wreathes shaped like hearts with hollow messages in a stock cursive font. He had been to so many funerals at this point he was reluctant to admit he sometimes got confused about where he was, who he was mourning. He tried to focus on the portrait of the deceased, but the outline kept shifting.

He blinked hard to settle his contacts, tears always had a detrimental effect on their usefulness. He needed to remember to wear his glasses to the next funeral. A twisted laugh threatened to slip, gallows humor at its finest. No matter how hard he tried, there would always be a next funeral. He wondered how many more before it was his turn, before he no longer had to be the one staying strong for everyone else, pretending the smell didn’t make him choke. He looked again, determined to figure out when he was before he was required to do anything, before he let on that he wasn’t fully present.

The coffin, shiny and black, occupied center stage. Where he thought he’d seen people solemnly walking up the aisle to say goodbye, there was only empty space. He realized he was unnervingly alone. Yet the coffin was not, it was flanked on either side by identical shapes, the light reflecting from their polished surfaces dazzling his vision. He stumbled to his feet, gripping tightly to the smooth wood of the pew in front of him. He rubbed his fingers against it, distracted by the grain, worn down by decades of touch. He looked again and there were six coffins, the once open space crowded and bent to accommodate so much loss.

He swayed, confused, it must be the damn flowers. The whole room seemed to tilt and he fell into the aisle, landing hard on his knees. He looked up just in time to see the coffins, doubled, tripled in size, rolling toward him, shuddering as they picked up speed.

Hotch gasped as he woke up on the jet, gripping the armrest tightly as he scanned the area around him. No one noticed the slight disruption, he knew well how to stay still, how to disappear in response to distress. Everyone was dozing or lost in their thoughts, drained from long days on the road. He counted their heads to check that everyone was accounted for. They were coming back from another case, he wasn’t quite sure from where. His hands shook from holding the seat too tightly so he put them in his lap, absently running his thumb across his other fingers.

He pulled out his phone to check the time and, more importantly, to check the date. He’d been struggling ever since the Scratch case to keep the details of time in order. It was embarrassing and he did his best to hide these lapses in awareness. The disorientation was always worse after one of these dreams. Though he was too practiced to show he was having nightmares, this one was starting to get to him. It had been coming back again and again since that night when he watched his team die. One right after the other, unable to stop it, unable to even be sure it wasn’t himself pulling the trigger. Though they were safe, were still alive at least, he couldn’t shake the fear. It had been so real. And it had been his fault.

He tried to tell himself to let it go, that it was only a hallucination brought on by a chemical attack from a psychopath. A man who was now in prison, successfully captured by his very alive teammates while he sat uselessly on the floor, afraid to trust his senses. However, he couldn’t quite escape the nagging fear that Scratch didn’t surrender, that in the mess of it all he had gotten away. When he let himself think about it, it never made sense that a man so calculated, so many moves ahead of them, would simply give in. He couldn’t be sure that the surrender wasn’t one of the false memories.

There was no way to distinguish between them, the real and the nightmare. He could only convince himself that his team was alive by watching carefully as they breathed whenever they weren’t looking. By their heated bickering over who would ride where. Lately he had even relinquished the driver’s seat, worried that his loosely tethered mind might sweep them all off the road. He fixated on their little habits, certain that these were things his mind couldn’t make up, proof that his family was really there in front of him. The orange fingerprints on case files and every single coffee mug disappeared from the kitchenette, lost wherever Reid set them down before forgetting, caught up in some exciting train of thought. Things that might have frustrated him before became lifelines to reality, the reality he hoped with all his heart was true.

In the immediate days after the attack, he would ask Dave, quietly, for assurance that Peter Lewis was locked up, unable to harm his team. Dave was understanding, remembering how he had been that night, eyes full of loss. But the looks he gave Hotch grew longer and more worried with each repetition of the question. Now, again unsure, he was too ashamed to ask.

It had been so hard to keep things straight in his mind. For awhile he had been writing himself notes: “Peter Lewis is in prison.” Except he would find them again later, letters added, message changed, unable to tell if it was still his handwriting. It didn’t make sense for it to be someone else, fuck he kept these notes in his pockets, in his desk drawer, in his medicine cabinet. He couldn’t remember changing them though. Maybe that was what he had written in the first place. The confusion of the notes started making him feel worse so he stopped writing them. Every time he found another one, he tore it into tiny pieces, all the while trying to convince himself nothing was wrong with his behavior, nothing was wrong with his mind.

On Saturday, rare in its lack of crisis, Hotch was sitting on the couch, finally free to read a book while waiting for Jack to get home. He had been invited to a movie with some school friends. He started thinking about how relieved he was that Jack had friends to do normal things with and lost track of the story. As he scanned back, a little surprised how far he’d read without absorbing any information, his phone rang. His lungs constricted. Fear was always the first reaction to the phone ringing. He leaned forward to pick it up from the coffee table, brushing away his irrational feelings. It was Spencer. That was a little odd but not unheard of. Sometimes Spencer learned a new fact that only Hotch would appreciate and couldn’t wait until they got back to the office to share it. He smiled as he answered, anticipating an excited rush of speech. Instead there was silence.

“Hello?”

Nothing. He listened hard, not sure if he could hear breathing. There was some rustling, muffled and indistinct. Maybe Spencer dialed him by accident. He hung up and tried calling back. It rang without answer. He tried one more time but got the same result, the voicemail picking up quicker the second time. He told himself there was a mundane explanation but anxiety crawled like a spider up his neck. He was about to make another call, was trying to decide who was most likely to be helpful. Penelope? Derek? But then Jack walked in the door, hyped on candy and popcorn and wanting to repeat every joke from the movie. He let it go, if it was important Spencer would call back.

Monday morning and Spencer wasn’t in the office. Hotch had been there since 6 am, buried in paperwork, perpetually stuck in a state of catching up. He didn’t notice the absence until JJ came to ask him if he had any update from Spencer.

“Hmm? No, I haven’t heard from him. Update on what exactly?”

“Oh well he was supposed to come over for game night on Saturday but he said he wasn’t feeling well.” She assumed he was still sick, that he had called out. It was very unlike him to skip out on work, though perhaps he was just very unwell. Images of Spencer, pale and shaky, in the depths of his addiction, flashed through both of their memories and they exchanged looks. It had been so many years, and he did such a good job of pretending it never even happened, but they still remembered. It always came back whenever some uncertainty with Reid popped up.

“Have you tried calling him?” He tried to be logical, not everything needed to be the end of the world.

“Just goes to voicemail.” She raised her eyebrows at him, the silent question—what do we do boss?

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked at the files covering his desk, he’d already put in several hours today, he could use a break.

“I’ll go check on him.”

She started to offer to go with him but he waved her off. If Reid was sick there was no reason for both of them to be exposed. If it was something else, well, it was probably better if Hotch was alone for that too. Just as he got to the elevator, Derek caught up with him.

“I hear you’re going to check on pretty boy,” he was trying to sound light-hearted.

Hotch made a noise in response.

“I’m coming with you.”

Hotch looked over at him and saw the steel behind the statement. He wasn’t asking. Neither one needed to say aloud the worry laying just beneath the surface. That dreaded what if that swam around in the back of all their minds. He gestured for Morgan to get in the elevator ahead of him.

They got to Spencer’s apartment with still no word from him. He didn’t answer when they knocked on the door and though neither wanted to admit it, they were starting to panic.

“He better be passed out on cough syrup,” Morgan muttered as he flipped through his keys to find Reid’s spare, still trying to mask his fear. When they got the door open the apartment was cold and empty. The blinds were closed and the room was dark. Once they flipped the lights on everything seemed normal though unoccupied. The apartment was relatively neat, stacks of books and papers operating as some kind of decor.

“Reid?” they called even though they could tell he wasn’t there. They wandered through the small apartment, checking for signs of their friend.

“Hotch!”

Hotch caught the edge of the door with his shoulder and swore as he hurried out of the bedroom to respond to Morgan’s distressed call. He was standing in the small kitchen, looking at the counter. On it were Reid’s keys, phone and wallet. They could have been tossed there upon his arrival. But wouldn’t he have taken them if he had gone somewhere?

“Where is he?” Morgan’s voice was tight.

Hotch shook his head, this didn’t make sense. He picked up the phone and saw the list of missed calls from the office, from JJ, from him. He unlocked it and checked, heart sinking as his fear was confirmed. The last call was to his own phone on Saturday evening.

“Call Garcia,” he said, checking Reid’s messages.

“What’s going on Hotch?” Morgan couldn’t take his eyes off Reid’s phone, the frantic way Hotch was scrolling through it.

He stopped and looked up. “I…I don’t know.” The images from his dream, his nightmare were threatening to envelop him. Reid crumpled on the ground, a gunshot still ringing, dark wood with rounded edges cradling his lifeless body. The phone screen blurred when he looked at it again and he dropped it on the counter, using his hands to hold himself up.

“Hey man, are you ok?” Derek started to move closer but Hotch turned away, effectively closing himself off.

“Call Garcia, we need to start a search.” And I need to get a grip, he thought as the world around him shifted disturbingly. If something was as wrong as it seemed, they would all be looking to him to solve it. He certainly couldn’t do that if he wasn’t even sure if he was clinging to the counter or the floor.

It was hours later when they finally got a lead. It was not the lead that they wanted. There was a report of a body matching his description at a morgue one town over. It had been pulled out of the river in the early hours on Sunday, spotted by a couple of unhappy fishermen. There had been no wallet, no ID, no way to figure out who he belonged to. They had put him down as a John Doe, a presumed suicide and he was being held until they could get around to trying to match dental records. Garcia teared up as she relayed the information to the rest of the team.

“That can’t be him! Are you sure?” Morgan spoke more harshly than he meant to, nerves frayed by hours of fending off worst case scenarios.

Garcia hesitated, holding a folder. “They sent pictures but…I can’t look. I’m sorry.” She started crying in earnest now.

“Oh baby girl,” Morgan put a hand gently on her shoulder and pulled the file away. He was reluctant to open it as well. Hotch saw this and quickly took the folder and walked to the other side of the table where he flipped it open. His mouth formed a grim line and he didn’t have to say anything for them to know. He was glad he took it, happy to spare them the sight of waxy pale skin, the only color a deep purple beneath his closed eyes and his startlingly blue lips. It looked like he was wearing make up, like this was just another Halloween look Spencer was testing out. Hotch stared at the picture a moment too long. This is real, he told himself.

“Aaron?” Dave tried to pull his attention back to the room of anxious agents. Even though they knew, there was still the tortured hope that if he didn’t say it out loud, it wasn’t true.

He sighed, “It’s Spencer.”

Garcia let out a sob and turned into the hug that Morgan wrapped around her. JJ, sitting at the table stared into the distance.

He tried to organize the facts, solidify them in his mind by repeating them silently to himself. He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous gesture he normally suppressed to avoid having it sticking out wildly.

“I’ll go formally identify the…” He couldn’t call Spencer a body. “I’ll go see when we can get him transferred to us.”

“I can come with you,” Dave offered but Hotch declined. Looking at the others he felt like they needed someone to stay with them that would ward off anything too impulsive. They were all stunned at the moment but the feeling in the room was unsettled.

“You’re wrong.” JJ spoke without looking at him, her gaze still fixed at a spot on the far end of the table. “Spence wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.”

He realized she was crying and felt a weight start to crush his chest. With effort he moved to where she sat, unable to find anything to say. He touched her hand but she jerked away, suddenly standing and glaring at him.

“You’re wrong,” she repeated before leaving quickly.

There was a hand at his elbow, squeezing gently. “I’ll go talk to her in a little bit. You should get going, it’s already late.”

He tried not to pull away too quickly as he nodded his thanks at Dave, who looked at him curiously.

“Are you sure you don’t want someone to come with you?”

“No, no. I’m fine. I can do it.” He hoped Dave would ignore the shake in his voice. He was fine, he could do this, he didn’t have a choice. He walked to his office to get his things, stopping for a moment to pull out Reid’s phone again. He needed to check the calls one more time, to confirm what he thought he remembered. Sure enough, his number remained the last outgoing call. He didn’t know if it was better or worse that it was real.

~Part 2~

#Criminal Minds #tw major character death #tw suicide mention #tw guns #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jj jareau #spencer reid #david rossi #dont hate me

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sendme-2hell · 3 years

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Ranking the books I read in April

aka just ranting about the books I read in april pls ignore me

1. The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson

I cannot believe this book wasn’t nominated for a Hugo! I like the Hugo list (of the books I’ve read) but cmon. This book is like if you combined the social commentary in The City We Became and the queerness of Harrow the Ninth. Seriously this book had everything I wanted: parallel universes, great character development, social commentary, woc sapphic slow burn, satisfying ending. Also I feel like the title is paying homage to W. E. Dubois which is cool. “Between me and the other world, there is ever an unasked question: How does it feel to be a problem?” Like there is just this very cool idea of talking about other worlds as in literally other universes but also different worlds due to social and racial hierarchies.

2. Plain Bad Heroines - Emily m. Danforth

Horror, Hollywood, boarding school, everyone is gay, the narrator talks directly to the reader and it is hilarious, copious footnotes, have I mentioned how many sapphics there are? It’s hard to keep track. Plus polyamory. I just really loved this book and I felt it all came together in a way that was worth it.

3. Steel Crow Saga - Paul Krueger

This godamn book. I loved this book so much. I was so ready to yell about it on tumblr and tell people to read it. But apparently the author is someone who has harassed a lot of women so...uh...yeah. Nevermind I guess.

I do want to say it is the most accurate depicition of a Sherlock Holmes superfan that I have ever seen in media.

4. The Tiger’s Daughter - K. Arsenault Rivera

What if we went on a long trip on horseback and we were both lesbian warriors...jk unless…

Yeah so I loved this book so much. A lot of it is about navigating familial responsibility, fighting literal and metaphorical demons, fighting the patriarchy, fighting your anger, fighting tigers, etc...and yet I kept thinking to myself “this is the most romantic book I have ever read” and honestly I am gonna stick by that. It also has the “you think me a monster so I will become one” trope which is great. It is set in an Asian-based fantasy world and I did read a goodreads review that said it was as accurate to the countries it draws inspiration from as Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse is to the Russian and Scandinavian cultures it takes from. So that’s not great.

5. Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

Speaking of! A few months ago I tried to read Shadow and Bone in preparation for the tv show and I could not finish it. The writing was...bad. Anyway I really liked Six of Crows and even though, yeah it’s tropey (I’m looking at you, Helnik backstory), there’s a reason those tropes work. Plus you cannot go wrong with a heist. About halfway through I did realize that there are six mcs and three couples so its kinda just like a giant triple date, which really changed how I read the whole story.

I’m very glad I did read it before seeing the tv show because I was able to be appropriately excited for the Crows and catch the Wylan reference and everything, but I also got to see the Alina stuff without having to read about it.

6. Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

I think I somehow liked this even more than Six of Crows, but for narrative simplicity I’ll put it after. I really like it when you put people in an impossible situation and see how they figure it out. Especially if they get out in a clever and reasonably possible way that ties together many different plot threads and has a few good fake-outs. This did all of that, and also developed every character in a way I found satisfying (except [redacted] *cry emoji*).

Kaz pulls a Baru Cormorant with some money stuff and now I wonder if they would be friends.

I read this after watching the show which was good because I knew who Zoya and Genya were but bad because there is a point where Nina is like “here is how shadow and bone ends.” She’s just talking to Mattias and casually spoiling everything for me. So there goes my dreams of living spoiler free until the end of the show.

7. The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily m Danforth

My expectations for this book were....very different than it turned out, and I’m glad for it. After reading Plain Bad Heroines I shouldn’t have been surprised at how well written it is. I really appreciated how nuanced it is. It doesn’t spell out its ideas or themes and therefore lets you really sit with them. I would rank it higher but I don’t really enjoy reading about high school.

8. Foundryside - Robert Jackson Bennett

I love a good found family, especially if at the beginning of the book they are on opposing sides. Enemies to friends = best trope! Also it’s sapphic that’s always good. But the best part of this book was the worldbuilding which was so cool.

9. Malice - Heather Walter

Remember what I was saying about “you think me a monster so I will become one”? This book is the definition of that trope. Women becoming unhinged after being treated like shit, we love to see it! Especially if it’s gay. I do have to say, authors who write duologies where the first book ends on a cliffhanger, I see what you’re doing but yes, I will be preordering the next book.

10. Fugitive Telemetry - Martha Wells

I don’t have much to say because Murderbot is so consistently excellent. uh why is it so cathartic when xenophobes disrespect Murderbot and it’s humans step in and shut that shit down. Gets me every single time.

11. Queen of Coins and Whispers - Helen Corcoran

This book was like half romance half politics and unfortunately I did not find the politics that interesting or well written. But the romance was A+. It reminded me of Priory of the Orange Tree a LOT. Though significantly less dragons and I’m taking many points off for that.

12. The First Sister - Linden A. Lewis

I wanted to like this book a little more than I did. There was just maybe too much body horror for me. Interesting characters and world though. There was a location named Cytherea that they mentioned a lot and it was very distracting. I guess I still have tlt brainrot.

13. Shorefall - Robert Jackson Bennett

I think this book was well plotted out but it didn’t quite have my attention like Foundryside did. Also yet another book where a woman’s girlfriend ends up in her head. This time no one had to die so that’s nice. TM and SD take notes!

14. The Deathless Girls - Kiran Milwood Hargrave

Ok I LOVED the Mercies by KMH so I was a little disappointed in this Dracula retelling. It got interesting in the last 50 pages, but unfortunately that is not enough for me.

proud of myself for not reading a single straight book this April

#I just want to rant about the books I'm reading I doubt anyone will read this #I read a lot of good books in april!#six of crows is 2/3 straight #ninej when?!#my rankings

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imagine-loki · 3 years

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Triple Threat, Chapter 6

TITLE: Triple Threat CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 6 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki kidnaps Darcy Lewis, in hopes of getting the tesseract in return for her. Imagine his surprise when he grows rather fond of the mortal, finding that she understands him better than anyone else ever has. RATING: M

Loki was heading to Knowhere with the real Loki, Bruce, Wanda, Natasha and Thor.

Darcy had wanted to go too, but Loki flat out refused to let her go. In-case it was dangerous, which it probably would be. He didn’t particularly trust the Collector, who they were going to see.

‘Wait, so you’re telling me that it’s possible for me and… the other guy, to become one at the same time?’ Bruce asked, eyes wide in surprise.

‘It sure is.’ Loki nodded. ‘Strength and size of the Hulk, but with your brains.’

‘That sounds terrifying.’ Wanda said.

‘Yeah, it really does. Please don’t do that, Bruce. I am NOT sharing a bed with Hulk.’ Natasha said, glaring at Loki.

‘Perhaps not the best idea if you and Nat are… dating.’ Loki laughed.

Loki told them all about more of his reality. The real Loki was sitting at the back, not really caring to hear about it. Wanda noticed and went over to sit next to him.

‘Are you ok?’ She asked him.

‘I’m fine.’ He said in a clipped tone.

‘You’re clearly not. Are you still annoyed at him for kissing Darcy?’

‘Of course I am.’ Loki hissed, but he sighed as he looked at Wanda. She was just trying to be friendly. ‘Apologies. I am just not happy there is another me going around, kissing my girl.’ He growled.

Wanda gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his arm. ‘He probably doesn’t want to be here just as much as you don’t want him to be here. But maybe you could both learn from one another? You are the same person, to an extent. You both tried to take over Earth, just diverted on different paths afterwards. You both redeemed yourself in the long run.’

Loki just grunted in response. She was right, but he didn’t want to admit it.

‘Or are you just jealous that you never thought of pulling the pranks he did when he arrived here?’ She grinned.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. ‘They were pathetic pranks, I could do so much better.’ He huffed.

‘Course you could.’ Wanda laughed and went back to the front of the ship.

Loki stayed where he was, but he listened in to Loki’s stories until they arrived on Knowhere. Everyone was on high alert as they made their way to the Collector’s museum.

‘What exactly are we looking for?’ Loki asked Loki.

‘It’s a tracker that will locate every stone. But as far as I am aware, the Collector doesn’t know that. Or else he would have them all by now. So it needs to remain that way.’ Loki said firmly. ‘It looks like a necklace, it’s a gold chain with a diamond on the front. It can perform basic healing powers, too. So we need to hope that’s all the Collector thinks it is.’

Loki nodded. ‘Do we have a plan for buying it from him?’

‘I’ll go in alone. Well, with you under a guise as a guard. Everyone else, wait outside so he doesn’t wonder why I’ve taken an entourage with me. If anything goes wrong, I will send a signal for backup.’ Loki said.

‘Who put you in charge?’ Thor frowned.

‘This is my mission. Or do you have a better plan, brother?’ Loki sneered.

Thor looked at Loki. ‘Do you trust him, brother?’

Loki looked at Loki then back at Thor. ‘I do.’ He said, albeit reluctantly.

‘Fine. That’s good enough for me.’ Thor nodded.

Loki transformed into an Aesir guard, then he and Loki went into the museum while the others remained outside, on alert. They tried not to look too conspicuous while people passed by on their daily business.

As the two tricksters walked into the museum, Loki kept looking straight ahead, acting like a proper guard just escorting Loki. Loki looked around casually, hands behind his back and taking dramatically large steps as he studied some artefacts.

‘May I help you… Asgardian?’ Came a voice from the back of the museum.

Loki looked up and saw the Collector wandering down towards them, with a female from a different race behind him.

‘Ah, Collector.’ Loki grinned charmingly. ‘I am looking for a specific item, a necklace with healing properties, as a gift for my fiancé. I was told by some good associates that I’d find it here.’

The Collector raised an eyebrow and turned to the female behind him. She was wearing the necklace.

‘This, necklace?’ The Collector asked.

‘That’s the very one.’ Loki nodded. ‘How much do you want for it?’

‘It’s not for sale.’ The Collector said quickly, putting a finger up. ‘But I am sure I have other, beautiful jewellery that would be suitable for your fiancé.’ He motioned to a glass display behind him.

‘Everything has its price. I have gold and many credits I can give you.’ Loki offered, pulling out a small pouch that was filled with gold.

The Collector looked slightly intrigued, but shook his head. ‘No. As I said, not for sale.’

Loki clenched his jaw. ‘What would you want in exchange for it?’

The Collector frowned, looking at him warily. ‘Why are you so desperate for this necklace?’ He asked, moving in closer to Loki, into his space and glaring up at him.

‘Like I said.’ Loki growled. ‘I want it for my fiancé.’

Loki stepped in and put his arm out, to get the Collector to back up from Loki. The Collector glanced at the supposed Aesir guard and stepped back a bit.

‘As I said. It is not for’ He was interrupted when suddenly Hulk came bursting into the museum, roaring angrily and charging straight for the group.

With the Collector distracted, Loki quickly grabbed the necklace and ripped it off the female, thrusting the pouch of gold into her hands in return. The two Loki’s then teleported outside to Thor, Natasha and Wanda.

‘What the heck happened?’ Loki asked as he transformed back into himself.

‘A passer-by accidentally bumped into Bruce, he was already feeling anxious and antsy so Hulk just exploded.’ Wanda said quickly.

‘Get back to the ship. I’ll get Bruce.’ Thor said as he swung Mjolnir round and flew into the museum.

The team heard Hulk roaring and some explosions and loud bangs. They didn’t bother waiting to see what was happening, so they rushed back to the ship as quickly as they could.

‘Did you get the tracker?’ Natasha asked as they boarded the ship and she got it started up.

‘Yep. Hulk’s distraction was actually rather helpful.’ Loki said as he held up the necklace. Then he waved his hand over it and had it disappear for now.

‘Let’s get off this planet.’ Loki said as he closed the ships door.

‘Without Thor and Bruce?’ Wanda asked, looking slightly distressed.

‘They will catch up with us.’ Loki said and he joined Natasha at the front of the ship.

Natasha took off, they got up into the sky and started heading away from the city. But she didn’t break through the atmosphere yet, they gave Thor a chance to catch up. And luckily, he did. Just before they gave up hope.

Wanda opened the hatch underneath the ship and Thor flew in, carrying Bruce, who was wearing nothing but Thor’s cape after changing back.

‘Any trouble?’ Loki asked.

‘Just get us off this planet.’ Thor growled.

At that point, the Collector’s ship came up after them from behind.

‘Hold on!’ Natasha said as she steered the ship on and headed towards the nearest jump to take them back to Earth.

They managed to get away in time, only just. Both of the Loki’s helped by shielding the ship with their Seidr, to help keep the Collector from following them.

The team were all relieved when they got back to Earth in one piece. The rest of them were waiting in the kitchen for their return.

Darcy was so relieved to see that Loki was alright. She rushed straight to him, to the right one, and hugged him. ‘Glad you survived with your good looks still in-tact.’ She grinned up at him.

Loki chuckled and gave her a squeeze. ‘Would you not sleep with me if I wasn’t as good looking?’ He raised an eyebrow at her but with a smirk.

‘Hmmm… Probably not, unless your body was still as smokin’ hot as it is.’ She teased, making him chuckle again as he reached down and gave her bum a cheeky squeeze.

‘Eww. Get a room you two.’ Tony grimaced. ‘How did the mission go? Did you get the tracker?’ He asked, looking at Loki.

‘We did indeed.’ Loki had the necklace manifest in his hands and he held it up to show them.

‘It’s a necklace?’ Darcy frowned.

‘Well done, gold star.’ Loki drawled. ‘It also has healing properties for the wearer, and locates all the stones… with a little help of some magic.’ He headed to the island in the kitchen and placed it down as he took a seat.

The others all gathered around to watch.

Loki closed his eyes and put a hand over the top of it. He concentrated for a while, his Seidr energy growing, then the diamond on the necklace started to shake and there was a small beam that spouted up from it. Like a hologram, it was a map of the entire Universe.

There were seven glowing red dots in multiple places.

Steve frowned. ‘Why is there seven? I thought there was only six infinity stones?’

‘There is, six of them are your stones from your reality, hopefully where they should be. One of them is the reality stone from my reality.’ Loki said as he concentrated on the map.

‘That’s Vormir, so that will be the soul stone. There’s Asgard, where I’m assuming the space stone is?’ Loki looked at Loki and Thor.

Loki nodded.

‘That’s where we’ve just been, at the Collector’s museum, so there’s your reality stone.’

‘What? Wait a minute. Are you telling me you were within reach of the reality stone?’ Tony snapped.

Loki glanced over his shoulder at him, annoyed he was interrupting. ‘Yes. But before you say it, no. The reality stone from your timeline is not what I have come for. I need the one from mine.’ He grumbled at him then continued. ‘That is Xander, so if I recall correctly, that should be the power stone. The mind stone, well.’ He motioned to Vision who was stood opposite him.

‘And there is another on Earth. In New York?’ Loki looked around at the team.

‘Doctor Strange should have the time stone.’ Tony confirmed.

‘Alright. So that just leaves…’ Loki trailed off, looking slightly confused.

‘What? Where is the reality stone?’ Darcy asked, looking at the hologram but she couldn’t quite make it out the same from where she was stood.

‘This map shows it’s… it’s just hovering in space?’ Loki said, just as confused as the rest of the team.

#Loki #God of Mischief #Submitted fic #submission #chapter 6 #triple threat #fanficshiddles

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capaldifiction · 4 years

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Graham Norton Show - Lewis Capaldi x Reader

I apologize for how long these have been taking me to get to, but I hope you like your request 💙

Paring: Lewis Capaldi x Actress Reader

Word Count: 2,014

Description: Based on this request: “Where the reader and him are doing the interview on Graham Norton show and being funny as hell and everyone knows they are dating even if they didn't say it. Can you also add then having long cute stares at each other.”

Warnings: Some swearing

“And welcome our next two guests, Y/N and Chris Pratt!” Graham Norton calls out as the two enter the set to applause. Waving to audience quickly, Y/N smiles before turning to shake the hands of Graham, Jared Leto, and Tom Ellis before taking her place next to Tom, with Chris sitting to her left.

“How are the two of you doing? Enjoy your trip back home to the U.K. Y/N?” Graham asks.

“Real good,” she respond with a small smile, relaxing back into the couch. “Long flights suck, but being back home is always great. Haven’t gotten to get back to my actual house yet, but what can ya do?”

“I’m doing great,” Chris nods in response. “Got to film and now promote this film with this fantastic woman right here. She’s hilarious, and gives me a run for my money as set prankster.”

“Oh?” Graham asks noticeably intrigued. “And what kind of pranks is Y/N pulling?”

“Oh nothing that great,” Y/N insists, her cheeks reddening as she tries to talk it down.

“How long do we have?” Chris asks with a grin toward the audience that cheers in response.

“Give us one good one,” Graham insists.

“Hmmm,” he says as his gaze drifts to the ceiling of the set. “Probably the prosthetic zombie finger she stuck to the bottom of my coffee cup, then filled it with my coffee and brought it to me. Took me an hour to finally see that sucker. We’re standing there discussing the next scene, I take a sip and seeing a freakin’ finger coming up out of my coffee and chucked it.”

“He screamed like a little girl,” Y/N grins cheerfully to the audience’s laughter. “It was fantastic.”

“Well we can’t expect anything less… from the one rumored to be dating our hilarious musical guest of the day,” Graham teases.

“No clue what you’re talking about,” she insists, her eyes immediately leaving Graham’s.

“Oh? So you’re denying the rumors of you and Lewis Capaldi?”

“Absolutely.”

“I mean,” Chris butts in with a shrug. “He was on set an awful lot for someone who lives in Scotland when we were filming in Canada.”

“Well yeah, we are friends, I never said we weren’t friends and he never visited me, we live near each other and see each other all the time and he had some concerts in North America so he dropped by a few times to hang out and see the set,” she rambles quickly as she tugs at the bottom of her shirt in embarrassment.

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” Tom Ellis throws in, raising his eyebrows.

Jared and Graham laugh as Y/N sinks further in the couch and reaches for her drink on the table.

“Bit thirsty there Y/N?” Jared teases.

“Parched,” she quips back with narrowed brows to her former costar.

“So the film you two are starring in is ‘End Of The Living,’ care to give us a taste of what it’ll be about?” Graham asks looking at Y/N and Chris.

“Well my and Chris’ characters are neighbors in an apartment building that don’t really get along. They deal with seeing each other on an occasional basis, but generally avoid each other. Then all hell breaks loose as the zombie apocalypse basically breaks out, and they have to work together to survive.”

“Annnnd then they fall in love,” Chris adds with a chuckle.

“Naturally, nothing says love like zombie guts and certain death,” Y/N nods with a carefree smile.

“And here on the couch we have a vampire, two zombie hunters, and Satan himself,” Graham summarizes as he looks at his guests who laugh in response. “It’s a nice light promotional day isn’t it?”

“Zombie hunters are no match for Morbius though,” Jared jokes looking over to Chris and Y/N.

“Says you,” Chris throws back. “But if we can’t Star Lord will wipe the floor with him since he’s in his world.”

“In all due respect,” Tom jumps in, “None of them can take on Lucifer.”

“And with that, we should go to a break, when we get back we’ll see our musical performance from Lewis Capaldi!” Graham shouts as the cameras shut off.

Giving pointed looks to the men around her, and sticking her tongue out at Jared, Y/N’s attention is finally caught by the instruments being brought in for Lewis’ performance.

She nods at his piano player Aiden as he gets settled, then smiles as Lewis himself comes out onto the set. The typical nervous expression always etched on his face before a performance there. He looks up to see her gaze on him, and smiles wide before sending a wave her way.

Smiling in turn she waves back at him as she watches them finish setting up, ignoring the scoffed laughed from Chris beside her.

As the lights brighten again, the cameras come back to life as Graham steps in front of the camera, “And here to perform his newest hit, two-time Brit winner and Grammy nominated singer Lewis Capaldi!”

The cameras turn toward Lewis as he begins the song, and Y/N leans forward with her chin in her hands as she watches the performance intently, standing up and applauding loudly as Lewis hits the last note.

Finishing up the song, Lewis sets his guitar down and gives a wave to the audience before heading over to the couches. Shaking each person’s hand down the line, he stops to pull Y/N into a side hug, whispering something in her ear causing a smile to spread across her face.

After all shaking hands, all the guests take their seats once again. As Chris sits back down, he places his arm on the couch behind Y/N, while Lewis takes his seat on the other side of him. Lewis’ gaze lingers on Chris’ arm for a moment with a frown before forcing it away and looking to Graham.

“Fantastic performance Lewis!” Graham says looking over at him. “Now where do we start? The new album you have coming out or the triple platinum on your last one and the two Brits you’ve gotten since you were last here?”

“The new album Graham,” Y/N says before Lewis can respond, throwing him a look. “You’ll give him a bigger head if you go on about the other things.”

“And that’d be a bad thing Y/N?” he asks with a teasing tone.

“There’d be no living with you if it got any bigger,” she sighs dramatically.

“Living with him?” Jared asks as he looks between the two, noticing Lewis’ gaze lingering on her a moment too long.

“W-well yeah,” she answers hastily. “We live pretty close, I see him pretty often.”

“Speaking of you two living close, do you also go on some of his tours Y/N?” Graham asks. “You appear on quite a few of his social media posts from Instagram to Tik Tok, and everyone’s loving seeing that side of you when you usually play such serious roles.”

“Well we just always have a good time. I have gone on some of his tours when I’m not working, get to see some cool places with a good friend of mine. And we’re both a little weird, so it makes for some interesting videos I guess,” she shrugs.

“Let’s take a look at one of them now,” Graham says, gesturing to the screen beside him.

The screen changes to a clip of Y/N wearing a Lewis Capaldi merch t-shirt and a pair of black sunglasses as she stands atop a large table singing the lyrics to ‘Grace.’ Throwing her head back, she starts dancing to the music, when the camera pans over to Lewis also doing the dance from his music video and singing the song at the top of his lungs.

“I’m not ready to be just another of your mistakes!” she yells out as the camera follows Lewis moving in front of the table she’s dancing on. As she finishes the line, she launches herself onto his back, a look of panic on his face as they both crash to the ground in front of the camera, followed by a chorus of obscenities.

As the clip fades out, Lewis and Y/N have equally red cheeks as they make eye contact and look down at their drinks while the audience and other guests laugh.

“And what were you two doing there?” Graham asks with a grin.

Lewis runs his hand through his hair breaking his gaze from Y/N back over to Graham, “That, that was a less than sober rendition of my song and Y/N trying to kill the both of us as my piano player filmed us.”

“Ok but we were on his tour and had too much to drink and it seemed like a good idea at the time,” she defends.

“Alcohol would do that,” Tom teases.

She smiles at him sheepishly before taking a drink, “Alright we don’t always make the best choices, but we do make the fun choices.”

“Fuck yeah,” Lewis agrees with a grin, his eyes quickly widening before muttering a quiet apology.

“So about this new album, what should we be expecting from it and when?” Graham asks.

“Well there are the artists that really want to reinvent themselves for their next album, really try something new and push the boundaries of music,” he replies. “And that’s not me. It’s gonna be more sad shit, and hopefully if you liked the first album you’ll like the second. We’re looking at it coming out in May of this year.”

“No inspirations for happy love songs in your life huh?” Chris asks with a knowing smile, glancing at Y/N next to him who quickly looks away from Lewis.

“Nope, I’m sad and alone,” Lewis confirms, his gaze once again drifting to Chris’ arm behind Y/N on the couch, then to her eyes as a content smile spreads across both their faces.

“Right then,” Graham chuckles as he stands up from his seat. “That’s all we have time for tonight. Give a big round of applause for my guests tonight, Lewis Capaldi, Chris Pratt, Y/N, Tom Ellis, and Jared Leto! I’ll see you next week everyone!”

Once the cameras have shut off, the guests all stand up to bid their goodbyes to one another.

“It was great seeing you again,” Jared says, pulling Y/N into a quick hug over the table. “We really need to work together again some time.”

“I get pranked enough in my personal life to go up against you again,” she chuckles setting her empty glass down on the table. “You take it to a whole new level Leto.”

“Oh you know you loved it,” he teases patting her shoulder.

“Of course, snake in my dressing room was the best,” she says while rolling her eyes but smiling. “It was good talking again. Hit me up sometime again sometimes. And it was great meeting you,” she says turning to Tom.

“You as well,” he responds with his own smile. “That goes for all of you, I had a great time.”

“Same here bud,” Chris says throwing an arm over Y/N’s shoulder and extending it for a fist bump at Tom who bumps it with a smirk, his gaze going to a very obviously uncomfortable Lewis behind Chris.

“It was fucking fantastic meeting you all,” Lewis interrupts after a moment. “All of you are amazing. But if you don’t mind…” he reaches around Chris to snag Y/N’s hand, who he quickly pulls out of his grasp and to his own side.

Placing a quick kiss on her cheek, he mumbles, “Let’s get out of here.”

Y/N nodding in agreement, follows Lewis off the set hand in hand with shy smiles on their faces as the last few remaining people in the audience cheer.

Turning to look at the other two men, Chris smirks and crosses his arms in victory, “Fuckin knew it.”

-----

Extra Notes: As to why I chose Jared Leto, Tom Ellis and Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt I thought would be a good funny guy that would mess with Lewis and Y/N a bit (and I’m a big Marvel fan so I’ve seen some of his interviews lol). Jared Leto just because I’ve been a fan of him and his band for a really long time and just thought he was someone I could write alright. And Tom Ellis because I felt like the Lucifer show fit the vibe of this, and I had the chance to see a live panel of him at a Comic Con I went to where he was just a really cool guy.

Masterlist

Request List

#lewis capaldi #lewiscapaldi #lewis capaldi x reader #lewis capaldi imagines #Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent #celebrity imagines #fanfiction

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