#tumblr didn’t even have a suggestion for those

[taintedcigs]

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ୨ ୧ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ 𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃.

summary: in which you show your best friend the new christmas lingerie you bought for a guy, and he finally snaps and shows you how much better he is for you. (wc:2.8k+)

warnings: smut smut smut, minors DNI, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up irl), possessive!eddie, slight breeding kink, degrading, praises, kinda dom!eddie, but v soft dom/sub tones, kind of a daddy kink (its used like 2 times i can never properly do daddy kinks im stupid) no use of ‘y/n’, nicknames!

pairing: best friend!eddie munson x bratty!fem!reader

authors note: so i was just looking for christmas lingeries, and saw those bow ones that wrap around your body. and i was listening to sabrina carpenter's fruitcake ep and this was made oops. not proof-read ignore any mistakes pls or ill bite u. [EDIT: sorry for posting this a million times tumblr won't co-operate w me so i got rid of the dividers. i hope it works or im gonna bang my head against the wall.]

“Do you think Chris will like it?” You hummed, admiring yourself against the mirror, moving around with a giggle as anticipation pooled in Eddie’s tummy, his breath getting more ragged, and pants getting tighter around his relentless bulge. 

Speechless. 

Eddie stood speechless, gaze darkening the more he admired you, he didn’t even know which part of you he wanted to take a mental image of. 

It was like you stepped from his filthiest fantasies, giggling up at him with that alluring smirk on your face. God, you had to know what you were doing to him. 

The red bowknot wrapped around you perfectly, cradling your curves, tantalizing him further and further. You were his precious Christmas gift, just waiting to be unwrapped by him, and him only. 

Not that stupid jock who probably couldn’t even make you cum no matter how hard he tried. 

No, you needed him, you needed Eddie to unwrap you, and show you how to properly be punished for even suggesting if this was good enough for you to surprise your boy toy with. 

“N-no!” He spat quickly, getting up from the comfortable way he was sprawled on your bed.

Your head cocked to face him. “W-what? Do you not like it?” You jutted out your bottom lip, and he so badly wanted to bite those plushy lips, shut you up, and show you who fucking owned you. 

You had been teasing him non-stop lately, and this had been your last resort, you knew Eddie always fell for your jealous antics, but this had been too much, you knew this would finally push him off the edge, finally handle you the way you wanted to be handled, rough and possessive. 

Neither of you were good at communicating your feelings, but this, this is what you were good at. And you had been wanting Eddie ever since the two of you became best friends. 

There was something unspoken there, a line the two of you always wanted to cross, always handsy with each other, always too close, but never stepping over that boundary. And you were growing tired of it, the nights you spent with your fingertips circling over your clit, imagining his calloused hands, mewling for him. 

And the nights, the mornings, the showers he spent, abusing his hardened cock with the images of you sprawled out for him, begging to fuck him had been torturous enough.

He deserved this, he deserved you.  

This was it, and Eddie was willing to fuck over the friendship once and for all. To finally make you his. 

“N-no, I like- love it.” He stammered, taking a step closer to you, “but there’s no fuckin’ way he gets you like this.” 

You wanted to smirk, the excitement you felt in your tummy was unexplainable, heat pooling with a need for him as you wanted nothing more than to have him push you against the sturdy beige wall of your room, exploring you, marking you as his. 

“That inexperienced asshole, doesn’t deserve you,” he spat, pushing his body closer to yours, merely inches away from you, and you nodded dumbly at his words. 

“You need someone who can take better care of you, princess. That can handle you like you deserve to be handled, don’t you think?” He coos, hand dipping to the lacey bow that adorned your curves, everywhere he touches feels hot, so hot that you almost whine, just at the sensation of his rough hands. 

“Do you think he knows you better than me, angel?” He tsks mockingly and you’re quick to shake your head. 

“That’s what I thought too, baby…” He hums, running his fingertips over the soft fabric that barely covers your slit, “Do you think he can handle a brat like you? D’you think he can actually put you in your place like I would?”

His fingers now dance over the wrapped bow, teasingly, wanting nothing more than to unwrap it and see you fully, naked, and begging for him. 

Your thighs rubbed together with need, “Honey,” he hummed dangerously close to your ear, breath fanning against your cheeks, and you melted into him, “if I unwrap you, am I going to find you soaking for me?” He pressed open-mouthed kisses down the shell of your ear, tongue striping a lick down to your throat. 

The anticipation is killing you and you want to answer him, but his slight touches on your body are making it impossible, he’s fucking perfect, and could probably make you cum undone with just his words. 

You whimper slightly, glossy bottom lips still jutting at him and he tsks, “Nuh-uh… baby, I thought I told you not to be a brat.”

“Use your words, sweets.”

“Yes,” You breathed, barely, eyes opening wide to see the way his amber gaze darkened. 

“Yes, what?” He taunted, grip on your body getting tighter. 

“Y-yes, sir,” you gulped, gauging Eddie’s reaction obediently. 

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he smirks under his greedy moan, quick to let his hands roam around everywhere, fingertips slipping underneath the fragile fabric barely covering your slit, he groans when he realizes just how wet you are. 

“Is that all for me, baby?” He hums into your mouth, swirling your slickness inside of your clit, grinning while having no mercy on your lips, all biting and nibbling. 

You’re quick to nod, breathless when he’s basically everywhere, and it isn’t long before he frustratingly unties the stupid bow getting in the way of him and you. 

With a growl he almost rips it apart, tossing it aside, and his eyes widen at the sight in front of him. 

“F-fuck, princess, you’re so fuckin’ perfect,” he moans needily, eyes taking in the sight of you, naked, pooling for him. Perfect tits, waiting to be sucked by him, bare ass waiting to be marked up by him, crimson red handprints would look perfect on it, he decides. 

He presses his plushy lips onto yours, desperate and sucking on your tongue, while his finger slides inside of your tight cunt, other grabbing onto your breasts, and you can do nothing more than mewl for him. 

Then his finger retracts from your sloppy walls, you whine at the loss and he’s quick to shove his fingers down your throat, you happily accept it, sucking greedily on his fingers, tasting yourself on his fingers, it’s all so filthy and you throb more and more for him. 

His darkened amber gaze is on you, almost groaning at the way you suck on his fingers, wishing he could fuck your greedy throat with his aching cock. But not now, because fuck, he needs to be inside of you. 

With a growl he wastes no time picking you up, tossing you against the bed with a soft plop, and you giggle when he settles beneath your thighs, enjoying how rough and attentive he is.

His grabby hands are everywhere, hips rolling into you, but he’s far too clothed, yet you can still feel his bulge pressing against your thigh, making your sloppy cunt clench around nothing. You’re desperate, and he feels big, so big that your mouth waters at the thought of him not fitting into your mouth, his cock stretching you out, fully.  

You tug at his pants, almost signaling for him to take them off, so that he could finally be inside of you. He taunts your desperate attempt with a breathy laugh, “Patience, doll,” he tuts, voice low and gravelly, making you hum sweetly. 

He wets his lip before his lips attack you again, hands giving more attention to your breasts, pinching your nipples to earn more whines out of your pouted lips, wasting no time to dive down into your aching cunt, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses all over your breasts, your stomach, and your dripping inner thighs, doing it all with a grin while he watches you shudder beneath him. 

He takes his time admiring your pussy, padded thumb slightly playing with your clit as he watches your eyes squeeze shut at his movements, he groans at your lips glistening with arousal. Perfect, just fucking perfect. And he doesn’t know how much longer he can handle not being inside of you. 

His cock is strained against his zipper, and it hurts, just the thought of your velvety walls engulfing him is enough to have him explode in his pants. He needs you. 

“Such a perfect fuckin’ pussy,” he growls, head dipping between your shaking thighs, inhaling and tasting you once he places open-mouthed kisses on your pussy lips, and your clit, giving you all the attention you need. 

“Tastes so fuckin’ sweet, too,” he hums into your walls, lapping up at your juices like a man-starved, and you’re too far gone to register anything, nodding dumbly and trashing beneath him. 

“Need you to sit on my face after we’re done, baby,” he purred. “But I need to fuck you now, doll, need to feel this tight cunt wrapped around my cock, yea?” He pulls back slightly, and you pout at the sudden loss of contact, it makes him grin, knowing how desperate you are for him. 

Frustrated, and restrained, he unbuckles his belt quickly, even quicker to take off his boxers, with a hiss, his cock slaps against his stomach, your eyes widening with it. 

No wonder you felt his bulge against your ass every time he passed by you, his cock slightly brushing against your ass, making you whimper quietly. No wonder you always felt the need to rub your thighs together when he wore those slutty grey sweatpants, he was packing. 

Slightly curved to the left, thick, and deliciously beading with pre-cum, his angry crimson red tip faced your inner thighs, you nearly whined at the sight. “S-so big,” you murmured, doe-eyes looking up at him with so much promise. 

“I’m going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated,” he grins up at you. “Gonna ruin you for everyone else, sweetheart.” You whine at that, his possessiveness slicking your thighs further as if that was even possible. 

“P-please,” you looked up at him, desperate. 

He tugs at his cock at your mewls, teeth drawing on his bottom lip at you. All sprawled out for him, legs spread apart, glistening pussy greedily waiting for his cock. 

He reaches for the condom but you’re quick to stop him. “No, no. ‘M on the pill,” you murmured. He nearly groans at your words. The thought of fucking you raw, feeling your walls hug him sweetly shoots pleasure through his entire body. 

“P-please, sir, wanna feel you,” you cry out, nearly wailing, glossy eyes looking down at him, pleading. 

And who’s he to deny you? 

“Want to feel you inside, fully, been waitin’ for this so long, Eds.” He groans at that, his cock aching, wanting to spill his load inside of you. 

“Already, beggin’ honey?” A teasing throaty chuckle escapes his lips, he’s more than amused, letting just the tip of his fat cock tease over your entrance, pre-cum smearing all over your throbbing clit.

“Mhmm,” you unashamedly moan. “I need you, been spendin’ too much time, touching myself to the thought of you, your cock… Need you to stretch me, ruin me, wanna be yours so badly,” you whined, voice cracking as you desperately thrashed beneath him, his teasing making you pathetic and dumb. 

That’s all he needed to hear before he slammed inside of you with a rough thrust, he couldn’t help himself, knowing that he could’ve had you all this time, made you his, and you were fucking touching yourself to the thought of him? 

He was about to lose it, and you were quick to cry out at his size, your tight walls trying to accommodate his fat cock, feeling him stretching you fully. 

“F-fuck!” He gritted through his teeth, holding onto your hips with a bruising hold. Your whines and your pussy clamping around his cock was enough to send him into a frenzy, wanting nothing more than to fill you up. 

“Eds, t-too much,” you wail out, glossy eyes looking up at him. 

“Ssshh, I know, baby, I know,” he coos condescendingly, making you whine more. “But you can handle it, can’t you, princess?” He bit on your bottom lip with a grin, “Look how well this greedy cunt is pullin’ me in,” he thrusts further into you with a groan. 

You cry out at the intrusion, welcoming the way the slight pain turns fully into pleasure, his cock driving into you with such force that you can almost feel him everywhere. “See? Such a good girl f’me, mmpf, just like that, honey,” he praises, flutters fill your stomach and heat rushes to your cheeks. 

He’s so perfect and you’re so proud to be his good girl. His padded thumb is quick to find its way to your clit, circling it gently to elicit more pretty whines from you. “This is mine, now.”

With a groan, “you’re all mine.” He continues to gloriously pump into you, enjoying the way you look so fucked out, his fingertips rubbing against your clit, you feel so full, so fucking full. Eyes lulling the more his cock dives deeper into you. 

“All yours, daddy,” you breathe, not realizing what you just said, it makes Eddie hiss loudly as his movements pick up, eyes rolling to the back of his head with a delicious growl spilling from his lips. 

You’re going to be the fucking death of him. 

“P-princess, fuck, Jesus fuckin’, you can’t just say shit like that to me,” He spills out through gritted teeth, enjoying the way you move your hips against him, desperate for more friction. 

“Look at you, shit,” Eddie groaned, pressing his thumb into your clit with more pressure, circling it with a grin, cock hitting that spongey spot deliciously while your back arched in pleasure. 

Babbles, and incoherent pleas left your lips, and Eddie grinned at the way you looked so cockdrunk on him, clenching around his cock, letting him know that you were getting closer. 

“Such a whore for me, aren’t ya?” He mocked, rough hands squeezing your cheeks as he made you look at him, “Love the way you go so dumb on me, pretty girl, not a single thought in that lil’ head of yours, only my cock, isn’t that right?” 

Your breathing picks up at his words, orgasm pooling in your tummy, you know you’re about to lose it soon, “Daddy, please,” you whimpered, not even knowing what you were begging for, it was all too much, his filthy words, his thumb on your clit, the way he was deep inside of your walls, hitting spots you didn’t know that existed. 

He growls at that, sinking further into you, “I know, baby,” he murmurs into your heated skin, reveling in the way you claw at his back, freshly manicured nails marking him. “You wanna cum, pretty girl? Go ahead, and cream my cock like the good girl you are, hmm?” His hold on your hips was rough, his other hand still circling your swollen clit, hips smacking against yours with such force that you were sure you were entirely gone now. 

“Come with me, Daddy,” Is what you managed to slip past your lips before you couldn’t handle it anymore, head falling back, mouth forming into a perfect ‘o’ shape, you felt that tight coil snap in your tummy, making your vision blurry as you sobbed beneath him. 

Your pussy squeezed and gripped his cock deliciously and with one more of his hips rutting into you, your orgasm was quick to trigger his. “Shit, gon- gonna fuck my load into you, angel.” He growled through gritted teeth, thrusts becoming shallow. 

“Gonna fill you with so much cum that y-you won’t get it outta you for days, f-fuck!”

“Feel s-so fuckin, good, baby, shit, shit, shit!” He grunted, and finally spilled his load inside of you with a loud groan, painting your overstimulated walls, cock twitching inside of you as his groans mixed with yours. 

Breathless, fucked out, and just a little sated, he was quick to slip out of you only when he made sure your pussy milked him dry and that every single drop was inside of you. 

Both of you struggled to come down from your highs, all those years of pent-up sexual frustration too much to even sate. 

“We’re nowhere near done,” Eddie hummed breathlessly, his head cocking toward you. 

With a smirk, you turned to him. “Oh, yeah?” You quirked a brow, excitement, and pleasure were quick to pool at your tummy. 

“Mmmhmm, still need to punish you for that whole Chris thing, princess. Even though it worked,” He gave you a hearty chuckle, “Don’t think you can tease me like that and get away with it, pretty girl.”

“And what did you have in mind?”

“Those Christmas lights you hung up on that tree,” He pointed toward the giant tree, decorated with lots of flashy lights. 

“I’ve heard they were a really good substitute for ropes, hmm? And the best form of punishment for bratty girls,” he grinned wickedly, attacking your lips again without giving you a chance to breathe. 

[lurkingshan]

Japanese BL Starter Pack

It’s been awhile since I dropped a rec list, so I am here today to share one that is very near and dear to my heart—a Japanese bl primer for those who are new to the jbl game. I created this for @neuroticbookworm to help her on her journey when she decided she wanted to start getting into Japanese works. The fandom (on Tumblr and generally) tends to focus primarily on Thai shows because they are the easiest to access for international fans, since Thailand is working its way toward world domination via ql media and wants us all to be able to watch. But there is a lot of great stuff to watch beyond the easy access Thai channels, and Japan is the country where this genre originated, so its shows are important for anyone who considers themselves a bl fan. Japan doesn’t cater nearly as much to the international audience so tracking down the shows sometimes takes some ingenuity and can-do spirit, but that’s part of the fun!

And so, the list! Bookworm is about halfway through it and having a ball, so I figured it was time to stop hoarding it and share it with anyone else who would like to dip their toes into jbl and isn’t quite sure where to start. A few notes: 

I am not here to teach you about the deep roots of the jbl genre or give you a primer on yaoi manga. I am by no means an expert and there are other places to find that information. Start here with this great post by @nieves-de-sugui and then maybe wander over to @absolutebl to read up more on the evolution of the genre.

This list is by no means an exhaustive accounting of every important Japanese bl ever made; it is simply a nice sampler platter of the cream of the crop among various styles you will find in jbl. Watching through this whole list will not only expose you to some fantastic shows, but also give you a sense of what makes jbl unique and how the country’s style differs from others, and point you toward the types of jbl you’ll like most (they tend to put shows in pretty specific style and tone lanes and once you find the ones you like there are lots more where that came from). 

If you’re coming to this post as a jbl lover and you don’t see your favorite here, I promise it’s not because I don’t love it very much; I simply had to make some choices to get this down to a reasonable shortlist. Feel free to leave extra recs for others to find! 

I’m putting these in a loose suggested watch order that will take you through the various jbl lanes in a kind of popcorn style, because I always think it’s good to change it up so you don’t get too stuck in one mode, and it works its way up to most of the extremely Japanese stuff (you will know what that means by the time you finish). But do what’s in your heart and change up the order if you want, friends, I am not the boss of you! 

Cherry Magic (Crunchyroll or grey)

gif by @liyazaki

I believe everyone on Tumblr is pretty familiar with this one, which is not a coincidence—this is one of the most accessible jbls. Not in terms of actual access to watch it, mind you (we’ve all jumped through shady internet hoops to watch it) but in terms of its content and style. Cherry Magic is a classic workplace romcom with a magical twist, and it is charming af. It’s a great exemplar of Japan’s light and zippy comedy lane for bl—a lane in which, importantly, the romances stay chaste even when the actual plot is about sex, or lack thereof. My friend @waitmyturtles would kill me if I didn’t make sure you know that Cherry Magic also has a lovely follow up film. And bonus: there is now a Thai remake airing so if you watch the original you can get in on the discussion about the different adaptations between countries. This is pretty easy to find these days in all the usual places, but I strongly recommend watching it here.

Old Fashion Cupcake (Viki)

gif by @liyazaki

Moving on to a slightly more mature workplace romcom. Old Fashion Cupcake, another Tumblr favorite, is an age gap boss-subordinate romance, and it’s both very adult and somehow wholesome af at the same time. Sure, there is a lot of carnal desire going on here, but there is also a lot of wooing via fluffy pancakes. It’s a tight five episodes and a fantastic example of what Japan, with its extreme technical precision in writing, directing, editing, pacing, and acting firing on all cylinders, can do in two hours. There’s not an ounce of flab on this thing and you’ll want to watch it over and over again.

Utsukushii Kare (Viki)

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Time to get a little weird! Weird is a key feature of Japanese media, and lots of jbls explore unusual relationship dynamics rooted in complex psychology. This is the first show on the list that will likely feel very Japanese if you’re new around here—my advice is to lean into it and finish the show, even if you get uncomfortable along the way. In Japanese media, discomfort always serves a purpose. This is a high school story with a twisted relationship at its center, and I’m not saying any more than that. Don’t spoil yourself and go watch it! This one also comes with two sequels—one short second season and one movie—that continue from the original story. They are less essential but still excellent.

I Cannot Reach You (Netflix)

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Next up, another high school tale, but with a totally different vibe. This show is kind of a revelation in its willingness to tell a story about overwhelming desire—including sexual desire—with young protagonists. It’s rooted in a classic but often misunderstood trope, friends to lovers, and takes the angst of it seriously, giving us a low stakes story that feels extremely high stakes to our leads. It’s also gorgeous and uses a classic Japanese visual style (bokeh) that you’ll be dying to learn more about. 

His (Viki)

gif by @gabrielokun

Time for a break from high school, and we’ll sprinkle in a movie for some added flavor. His is a jbl film featuring a second chance romance between a stoic, introverted man who moves to a remote town to start over, and his ex-boyfriend who follows him there unexpectedly, adorable child in tow. Importantly, this movie does not take place in what we often refer to as the “bl bubble” where homophobia doesn’t exist; the leads’ experiences of being gay men in a homophobic society are hugely important to the plot and themes of the story. It’s a beautiful film and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. @bengiyo would surely also like me to tell you that this film follows a brief prequel show called His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love about the characters originally meeting in high school; I do not think it’s really necessary to watch it but completists can start there.

The Pornographer series (Gaga)

By now you should be ready to get into some classic Japanese fucked up psychosexual material, right? Right! The Pornographer series is told in five installments in this order:

The Novelist, a six episode miniseries

Mood Indigo, a six episode prequel series

Spring Life, a 15 minute short

Pornographer: Playback, a two hour film

Spring Life Continued, a 15 minute short

Confused by that distribution model? So say we all; sometimes Japan likes to make us work for it to make sure we really appreciate its many gifts to us. The story across these installments is about a very difficult to love protagonist, what makes him the way he is, and the also-unhinged-but-in-a-different-way man who finally gets through to him. It’s an extremely satisfying love story and one of the best character arcs I have ever seen, full stop. For this one, you’ll want to just pull the word problematic out of your pocket and store it in a drawer; nearly everything that happens in this story is problematic and that’s the point. Lean in! All of these installments except for the film are on Gaga, if you get that far hmu and I will supply you with the final puzzle piece.

Our Dining Table (Gaga)

You could probably use a break after those last two, so it’s time to shift over to a heart-tugging twofer: family trauma mixed with the cutest shit you’ve ever seen. ODT is an example of another classic type of Japanese show: the food drama (you will see the GOAT in this category at the end of this list). In Japanese culture, food is love, and the act of preparing food for your loved ones is a common path to romance. You’ll love this story about an isolated office worker who meets a pair of brothers, learns to cook as a way of connecting with them, and begins to heal from his own trauma as a result. The image above is a scan from the manga, which @troubled-mind curates to make extremely cool comparison sets like this one. Many jbls are faithful adaptations of yaoi manga source material, so it’s good to have a bit of familiarity with them.

Minato’s Laundromat (Gaga)

gif by @liyazaki

Japanese media loves to explore taboo, and often manages to do it in a way that is surprisingly light and chaste. This is an age gap romance between a teenager and his adult neighbor that explores internalized homophobia, emotional repression, and falling in love across seemingly impossible social chasms. It’s also a great example of old school yaoi seme-uke dynamics that still show up across the bl genre. Also, take my advice: end your journey with this one with the first season and just pretend season 2 doesn’t exist.

Eternal Yesterday (Viki)

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Remember what I said about weird? Time to do that again, but with a heaping dose of grief and pain on top. It’s not a spoiler to tell you this show involves a major character death; a major character death is, in fact, the root of the entire story. This is a magic realist tale of first love turned tragic, and it will hurt and heal you. It is one of my favorite dramas of all time.

Restart After Come Back Home (Gaga)

And now for a break for your poor exhausted brain. This film is basically the jbl version of a Hallmark original movie, about a city boy who goes back home to the country and falls in love with a total sweetheart while working together on a farm. Enjoy it, bestie, you’ve earned it! 

Tokyo in April Is… (Gaga)

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

You’ve probably noticed by now that emotional repression and failed communication are big themes in Japanese works. This second chance romance has plenty of both, and it’s a great example of a kind of muted emotional style that Japan does so well, where the surface of the story seems almost placid and calm even as deep emotion roils underneath. This one (and Eternal Yesterday above) are part of a special line up of jbls on Japanese channel MBS called Tonku (Drama) Shower. The shows air one after another in the same time slot on Fridays (in Japan, perhaps Thursdays for you depending on where you live) and you truly never know what you’re gonna get, but they’re all interesting. Warnings on this one for sexual assault and trauma. 

The End of the World With You (Viki)

Time for sexy and weird again, but even more so! This has to be one of the most unique bls ever made; it goes to some truly divine and strange places, and it feels incredibly queer while doing it. Made by the same screenwriter/director of the Pornographer series with a lot of the same sensibilities, but in a more heightened apocalyptic setting. This one has existential angst, a road trip, a redemption tale, and a variety of interesting side characters in the mix.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Gaga)

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Congratulations, you’ve reached the end of the list and your reward is watching one of the best bls of all time, and a perfect slice of life food drama to boot. WDYEY now has two seasons (along with a couple specials and a movie that fall in between) because the universe clearly loves us. You can now get it on Gaga for easy access but I’m partial to the versions over at @kinounaniresource for better subs. Wherever you watch, settle in to get cozy with Shiro and Kenji and make sure to always eat before you hit play.

[fvnalgirlcomplex]

PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES

and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)

warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing

masterlist, series masterlist

fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )

summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.

bought a bunch of makeup,

tryna cover up my face

i started to skip lunch,

stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays

youruser

liked by lhughes and 56,890 others

youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield

view 182 comments…

colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.

youruser anything for a fan

user19 she’s so cocky omg

yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(

youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!

jackhughes ❤️

liked by youruser

user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo

jackhughes

liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others

jackhughes birthday girl 🎂

view 367 comments…

_quinnhughes haps

youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔

user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀

user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1

user63 bro could do sm better

trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣

user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹

user7 no..

user329 why are you so miserable

user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup

“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”

“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.

“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.

“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.

“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.

You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?

‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’

there’s always somethin’ in the mirror

that i think looks wrong

when pretty isn’t pretty enough,

what do you do?

You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.

You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.

But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.

“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.

It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.

Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.

Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.

njdwag.updates

liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others

njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛

view 103 comments…

theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷

user273 jacks like 🥹

user33 is this a safe space?

user649 depends…

user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/

user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??

liked by 208 others

user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that

user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀

user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!

and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you

i could change up my body and change up my face

i could try every lipstick in every shade

but i’d always feel the same

‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways

njdwags

liked by 1,266 others

njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!

view 103 comments…

user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO

user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty

user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(

liked by njdwags

user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart

user683 ugly ass

user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…

user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀

and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see

it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine

it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed

it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try

It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.

You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.

And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.

It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.

Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.

So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.

And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.

and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy

i chased some dumb ideal my entire life

and none of it matters and none of it ends

you just feel like shit all over again

Was this silly? It feel silly.

This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.

Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.

“We’re home!”

Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.

“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.

“Bathroom!”

You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.

“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.

“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.

“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”

Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.

“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde; go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”

Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”

You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.

After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”

“Jack!”

“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.

“No blonde.”

Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“So… can we get that shower now?”

[moonit3]

I wanna suggest…

Yan farmer x businesswomen

(Could be a smut or whatever I don’t care it’s just a mini suggestion, the rest of my ideas was probably robot x creator or yan test subject x scientist)

I love your suggestion anon, like it has been in my head since the instant you send it to my inbox. and i am proud to say this will be the first post of 2024! it’s amazing that many people enjoy my work on tumblr and I hope to reach even more.

THE COUNTRY BOY

➽ context warnings: yandere male, implied nsfw, yandere is a pervert and so is reader(?), afab/f! reader, reader seduces/manipulate the yandere for her own benefit but the yandere likes it, sex used as a way to coercion(?), mention of bruises,

➽ word count: 1.5k

➽ synopsis: a businesswoman who uses her mind and body to convince a farmer to help her the enterprise she works at.

➽ yandere! farmer x afab/f! reader

➽ a/n: so there is no smut for this one, sorry for that, i know that you guys really love when i write nsfw context, however i got a little tired of writing hot scenes. that’s why today post will only have implied nsfw, like it did happened in the story, i just decided to not put it.

➽ the phone calls form that stupid company is making him go crazy, so he pulled the plug away from the wall and began talking with his city relatives by letters. it’s impressive to morgan that enterprise didn’t give up from offering so much money to buy his farm and also surprisingly when many salespeople show up daily at his door, all to be kicked out of his porch before he start his daily work.

➽ he already pressed charges to avoid those businesspeople to come over and disturb him again, but nothing can change those rich people from disobeying the laws and keep bothering him all mornings when he just want to work in peace. feeling so stressed out, morgan was more than ready to hit one of those elegantly groomed people when hearing his name being called from his front porch once again. with a shovel in his hand, he steps outside to threaten them, but he didn’t.

➽ instead of meeting those old men thinking they are above anyone, his eyes were widen when seeing a woman waiting for him, a really pretty one. an expensive suit worth of millions perfectly catching your curves under the sunlight, his eyes can’t move away from your body despite being so ashamed of staring at you like that. his mother would’ve killed him if seeing the scene.

➽ “mr. sharp?” you speak like an angel and he couldn’t help, but feel attracted to your presence when his eyes can’t move away. “i’m the representative of the enterprise that show interest in buying your land, at least some part of it. mind if i step inside to have a little chat with you?”

➽ “o-of course! make yourself home, ms.” once again, his eyes wandered towards your body, but this time a little more lower than before. his cheek going redder by realizing that he isn’t being the gentleman his parents raised to be, rather a pervert. “and please, call me morgan. it’s weird to have someone calling for my last name.” the door closed when he enters inside after you, bitting his lips for an instant when you began walking towards the living room, taking a seat at the couch.

➽ in a blink of eyes, he gives you a cup of water when he takes a seat in front of you at his grandfather’s armchair. as strong his desire to talk with you is huge, he desperately want to know more about and maybe—maybe having the opportunity to ask you out. however no words comes out from his lips, instead you were the one to start talking.

➽ “morgan,” his name coming out of your lips makes him feel things, luckily his hands are big enough to hide the volume growing on his pants. “my colleagues and i have trying to convince you to sell your land, or at least part of it, to the enterprise i work for.” you sigh off, tired of having to talk about the same subject the others tried to convince him. “even with many proposals of great amounts of money, you still keep refusing to sell some part of your land. so i will be direct, is there anyway to change your mind?”

➽ a silence takes over the room once again, morgan overthink about your question. he wouldn’t never sell the land that his ancestors built for numerous generations and do it so would betray his family, making him become an outsider and getting kicked out. he will never be a man who desires to have those fancy things, expensive clothes and brand cars that cost more than his own farm—no, he is a simple man who enjoy working at the farm.

➽ “my answer haven’t change, miss. the farm isn’t for sell.” he said, getting up from his place and walking over to the woman who is just smiling at him. “and if you keep bothering me or my family, thing will get worse for your fancy enterprise.” the front door opens, morgan lost all of patience in the few words you’ve spoken to him, however his eyes can’t stop him from admiring your body figure, betraying what he truly feels about you presence here.

➽ a smile grown on your lips, getting up from your seat and stepping closer to the farmer. his tall figure overshadows yours and this time, you are the one to acknowledge his beauty with your eyes going up and down of his strong body. “really, morgan?” he freeze in place when your painted nails trace on his chest, reaching for the buttons of his shirt, ready to unbutton it at anytime. “i believe we can get into an agreement if we discuss it more privately.”

➽ the first button opened reveal the redness of embarrassment growing in the base of his necks the second button gone show some part of his chest and the third one was the last one that you opened. his strong hands holding your finger from teasing him even more, while he stays there prevent you from continuing to touch him, morgan wants more. he wants more of your boldness and shameless behavior.

➽ “isn’t wrong to a businesswoman like you using intimacy to help you getting a contract? from what I’ve heard, it could lead to several punishments from dangerous people.” the front door is no longer opened and his hands are going underneath your white shirt, feeling the warmth of your skin under his hands. “and it would really sad if a pretty woman like you getting in trouble because of a man like me.” teasing your breasts by pulling you closer and breathing behind your ear. the bulge on his pants grows harder when you began rubbing your body on him.

➽ “does it really matter? we will both benefit from it and i get to know you even more, morgan.” you said. “besides, we both want this, right?” you’re sweet words encourage him to to lead you to his bedroom for the rest of the day and night, where morgan would spend his time to teach you more about him and your body as a whole.

➽ the bruises around your thighs took days to heal and luckily, the many hours you spend on his bed with morgan above your body convinced him to sell a small—a really small part of the farmland. did it make your supervisors happy? surprisingly yes, they smiled and thanked your help to make that farmer selling a part of the land to the enterprise, you even gained a bonus!

➽ however things didn’t got smooth when your boss asked if you could help them again with the farm guy with another deal. instead of having him selling another part of his acres, why not convince him to be main source of supplies for the enterprise? the idea sounds good and the idea of seeing morgan again made your heart beat a little faster.

➽ when you knock at his door roughly before one clock, he greets you with a smile on the face as he lets you step inside. this time, he does more than offering a glass of water, rather he gives you a kiss on the cheek with his hand already teasing your collarbone. “my marks faded faster than i expected. is that you come here? to let me bite all over your body and make you scream?”

➽ your cheek went completely red even with your best effort to not show any embarrassment in front of him, “n-no.” you replied, already imaging his future trading. “it’s something else that i need to talk with you.” the rest of the evening was spent with your explanation of the new contract the enterprise is willingly to do with him. you could see a smile on his face when you explained the many benefits he will gain if signing the new contract .

➽ “so, that means that i will get to see more often?” hearing of all the money he would gain and the credits, morgan only thinks of that? well, it’s sweet that he looks to care about despite only knowing for few weeks, but it’s a little worrying.

➽ a smile grown on your lips, “well, yes. the contract will make me the new representative of the management team of the new team that will began working on the land.” his expression become full of cheerfulness, making you wonder what he is thinking right now. and by the way at he keeps looking up and down at your body, you can already take a guess. “i presume you will agree with the new demands if i spend another night here, am I right?”

➽ “and you are right once again, [name].” his hand reaches for your waist, making you whimper a little when you feel his grasp getting stronger. “now, let’s go to bed and you will try your best to convince me to sign the papers.”

@moonit3 writings

[ineffable-suffering]

Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does. 

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao). 

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past,  and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden. 

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’. 

And he already gave him the coffee. 

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

[highhhfiveee]

mint (mike schmidt x reader)

*minor movie spoiler that isn’t a spoiler fr but kind of is*

tags: suggestiveness, swearing, fluff

oi. this is my first official piece of fanfic on tumblr and i'm excited but also super nervous. i never knew what characters i wanted to write for as most of my fandoms are obsolete tbh (teen wolf and maze runner, i'm looking at you 💔) but after watching the fnaf movie and falling in love with j hutch like i'm 14 again, i wanted to try to write for mike!

i'm sorry if this story sucks tbh. i wrote it pretty quickly, did not edit it in any way (watch for grammar and spelling errors!) and i'm still trying to establish characters and plot and do all this silly billy worldbuilding, but i'll get better! i'm also taking requests for both fluff and smut, so if y'all would like to send anything for me to write, i'll def accept! like i said in my last post, i think i'm gonna redo my tumblr layout so i can feel like a true fanfic/misc blog lmao so ignore its under construction phase ((: i hope y'all enjoy this though bc i've been thinking ab mike schmidt all night

i have sooo many ideas, but between last night and this morning, i’ve been thinking of abby’s babysitter!reader (bc fuck max).

you’ve been channel surfing in the living room since you put abby down, working with her to lock down a nightly routine. ideally, she’d bathe, eat dinner (god willingly), brush her teeth, and then you’d be able to get her to lay in bed and doze off. some nights, this required dessert.

“you just brushed your teeth though. it’s gonna taste gross.”

“not if it’s one of those mint chocolate things you always have.” you straighten up, eyes squinted at the child before you; she meant the small, sometimes melted, squares of Andes mint chocolate you always kept. they’d always been your favorite, a guilty pleasure in this fucked up world.

you hadn’t been babysitting abby for long, and you didn’t realize that she'd been watching you crush the chocolates like it was light work. they were easy to eat, and once you had one, you found out how easy it was to eat another one, and then another one, and then another one until there was a mountain of crinkled foil next to your phone and chocolate smeared on your face.

"please, y/n. just one," you didn't exactly know if it was a lie. abby was convincing, able to break you down with her eyes, pleading and puppy-dog like. "please."

you cave, leaning down to brush her hair back from her forehead and place a gentle kiss on the skin. with pursed lips, you whisper, "fine, but tomorrow night. i have to get some more."

abby does nothing but smile, eyes fluttering closed. you stay with her for a bit like you always do--watching the way her chest rises and falls, and how her features twitched with slumber. features scarily similar to mike's.

of course she'd look like mike. they were siblings, no shit, but the resemblance occupied your brain. there was sweet abby, with her colorful clothes and scribbled drawings and persuasive aura, and then there was mike.

you shake your head, giving abby another kiss before exiting her room. you didn't need to think about mike. he wasn't what you were here for. you'd come to abby's school as an aide and after she'd privately confided in you about her home life, you knew you had to help her. you would do anything for her, even if that meant taking care of her while suppressing the overwhelming school girl crush you had on her older brother.

mike was a bit older than you, which didn't scare you at all. guys in their early 20s were rarely mature, doing anything they could just to fuck; but guys in their late 20s, mike specifically, had only ever shown you couth, surprisingly.

for nearly two months, five mornings a week, the sound of the door being unlocked would ring out. you'd turn to see sunshine pouring into the living room, enveloping mike's brooding figure in a radiant golden glow.

he'd hang his coat on the wall hooks, drop his bag down to his feet, and give you a small but warm smile. you'd try to not to embarrass yourself as you two made small talk, packing up your things.

you always left unscathed, but recently it'd been hard. you were always thinking about him, dreaming about him even; how his hair would feel between your fingers, how his hands would feel on your face, how his face would feel between your thighs.

the thought is washed away, drowned out by the sound effects of a loud infomercial when the door opens, and you're turning and squinting against the wash of pale yellow on your face. mike steps forward with a, "hey, y/n" and you meekly raise your hand to wave.

he hangs his hoodie up to reveal his shoulder blades flexing under an uncharacteristically tight navy blue sweater. you can't help but stare.

"just wake up?" his voice is raspy, but he's still facing the wall, rummaging in his bag for something.

"um...yeah. brain's still turning on," you lie, tossing the thick blue blanket off your body. you didn't sleep at all, kept up with your thoughts and the last of your Andes mints (though you loved her, you couldn't give abby your last ones).

"hm," he mutters, finally turning to you but keeping his hands behind his back. something crinkles in them and you raise your eyebrow at the tired yet amused expression he takes with you. it's enough to make your body hot and you awkwardly pull at the collar of your shirt, fanning yourself off.

"hot?" the gravelly tone sends you into a giggling fit, shaking your head as you shoot to your feet. you have to leave before you do or say something you regret.

"uh, yeah, it was s-super hot under that...um...blanket. i shouldn't have worn sweatpants to s-sleep," you stutter, nodding your head along with mike as he steps closer to you. this couldn't be the moment something happens, right? it'd been so casual between you too, very friendly, and he'd never shown any signs of trying to do anything with you before. why would he choose right now, so spontaneously?

he stands before you, the slightest bit taller than you. you're able to see every pore, every freckle, every microscopic detail in his eyes and lips.

you open your mouth, hoping your heart doesn't fall out, to ask what's happening, when he reveals a bag of Andes mints, one bigger than you've ever seen.

your mouth stays open in surprise. "wh-"

"abby's been talking about them. i wondered where she found out about them but--" he nudges his head towards the coffee table, where a small mound of green wrappers lay. you swear under your breath, cursing yourself for not throwing them away like you usually do.

"i'm sorry," you whisper, blushing beyond measure as you begin to frantically pack your things. "i should be more careful with that stuff."

"god, y/n, you're saying it like it's coke," mike chuckles. he sets the bag down on the couch and reaches out to you, placing his hand on yours as you shove things into your tote. "hey."

his voice forces you to stop and look up. you melt under his stare just like you do with abby. the puppy-dog thing must run in the family.

"i feel bad about not being able to pay you yet, and i really appreciate all you're doing. abby told me that you loved those mints, so..."

"thank you, mike," you say over the sound of your pounding heart. you didn't care about the money, you didn't need it. being appreciated by someone who made your heartbeat resonate throughout your body was payment enough. "this is really sweet."

"thank you, y/n. you don't know how much this means to me." You scoff, throwing your tote over your shoulder and looking down at your feet.

"i'm always happy to help." you and mike stand facing each other for what feels like hours, the air as thick as molasses between you. his eyes were squinted, low and dark and intriguing.

you wished you could read his mind. what was he thinking? did his heart do the same thing as yours, wacking against his ribcage with no end in sight? did he stay up thinking about you when he was supposed to be sleeping, imagining how you felt, what you sounded like, how you tasted---

"see you later tonight?" his voice rocks you out of your trance. he's not thinking about you. he's tired, wondering when you'll leave so he can fall into his bed and doze off.

"yeah. tell abby i said i'll see her tonight." your smile is tight as you exit the house, cursing at yourself as you get into your car.

you didn't know how long you could go on like this.

ya, i know this sucks and it isn't really anything but we're gonna work our way through these fics and blurbs to really develop a cute relationship (,: i will still be writing other fics for mike, and possibly using another babysitter!reader in a different universe, but as for now, we're gonna be rocking with these two (: (thinking that we’ll label her as 🌱🍫!reader)

all notes are appreciated (: thanks for reading!

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part ninety-four: "The Offer"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Karen, Marci, and you go shopping for the upcoming gala.

Or

Karen presents you with an interesting offer.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.] [FFTD Series Masterlist]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut, violence

a/n: So I split this part off of the gala smut installment that will be coming up next because I didn't want the smut to overshadow everything else. But hey, that means more installments! Also, tumblr is messing with my tag lists again so I apologize if they aren't working properly. Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag List: @ninacotte @mattkinsella @stilldreaming666 @murdocksclient @madscamp02 @1988-fiend @linamarr @pinkratts @schneeflocky @acharliecoxedfan @yarrystyleeza @theetherealbloom @danzer8705 @lionalsowrites @harperdoodle @kmc1989 @lunaticgurly @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @pazii @kezibear @sleepysleepymom @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @babygirlmurdock @theoraekenslover @wanda-maxamommy @justanerd1

Picking up a fairly simple shoe from the display shelf that had caught your eye, you warily examined the three inch heel on the back of it. You didn't want to get anything that looked too dangerous for you to walk in at the gala this weekend, afraid you'd only end up embarrassing Matt and yourself if you did. Walking in heels certainly wasn’t your strong suit and you weren’t about to pretend that it was just to look a certain way in order to fit in at the event. But while you stood there studying the shoe in your hands, turning it from side to side inspecting it, a bright gold heel appeared in your line of sight. Your eyes immediately widened at the stiletto heel next to the slightly more sensible shoe in your hand. 

“I hope you're showing me that as an option for yourself, Marc,” you said, glancing up at her beside you. “Because I would absolutely break my neck wearing those.”

Marci scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. “Oh please,” she replied. “You wouldn't break your neck in these.”

You shot her a pointed look, a brow arching up onto your forehead. Slowly you watched as her expression shifted to one of doubt and uncertainty, her eyes dropping back down to the heel in her hand. Eventually she let out a defeated sigh, the heel lowering back to her side.

“Okay, it's likely you might sprain your ankle in them,” she conceded. “But then Matt could just carry you around all night, right? Do you really mean to tell me you wouldn't want that?”

“I'd rather him carry me around under different, less embarrassing circumstances,” you told her. “Not because I bought six inch heels that are the width of a toothpick under the assumption that I could spend an evening walking in them. Because we all know I can’t.”

“Fine,” Marci relented.

She turned, walking away to put the shoe back on the display shelf from where she’d found it. Your attention returned to the black heel in your hands as you once more contemplated your ability to survive in them for an entire evening. They didn’t look too intimidating–especially after the heel Marci had just suggested. 

“What about these?” Karen asked.

Glancing over your shoulder at the sound of her voice, you focused on the deep red heels she was holding up in her hand. They were stunning, you had to admit it. The color wasn't anything too crazy bright so it wouldn't stand out horribly against the black dress you'd already bought earlier today. Plus, they were almost the exact same shade of red as Matt’s Daredevil suit, a detail you figured he'd probably enjoy even if he couldn't see them himself. 

“You don't have to get black shoes just because the dress you bought is black,” Karen pointed out. “And the heels on these don't look too scary do they?”

“No,” you answered slowly, setting down the shoe in your hand and turning towards her. “They don't.”

You stepped over to where she’d been standing, reaching a hand out and accepting the heel from her outstretched one before examining it closer. She was right, they truthfully didn't look all that intimidating in comparison to most of the other heels in this high end store. Certainly more manageable than the gold heel Marci had just suggested. 

“Ohh, I like those,” Marci said, appearing over your shoulder and eyeing the shoe. “Definitely not too plain. I prefer these over those black ones you were just looking at. Nothing wrong with adding a little bit of color.”

“Okay, then. You’ve both convinced me,” you told them. “I’ll see if they have a pair in my size.”

With the shoe in hand, you made your way over towards a rather bored looking sales associate and asked for your size. Briefly they disappeared into a back room, eventually returning a minute later with the nicest shoe box you'd ever seen in your life. Which probably meant the price on them was something absolutely absurd, but so was the budget Matt had more than graciously given you for your day of shopping today. Something you were still confused about him doing since his sole reasoning was just that he wanted you to enjoy your evening with him at the gala.

Thanking the store associate politely, you took the shoe box and headed back over to the row of chairs near where Karen and Marci were still shopping. But as you neared the pair of them you overheard the loud, almost dramatic sigh that Marci had released. Slowly lowering yourself down into one of the chairs, you raised a brow at her curiously.

“What was that about?” you asked her.

“I have been dying for someone to just bring it up all day–just to touch the topic even once –but no one has. So I guess I’m just going to do it myself,” she answered you. “Are we ever going to address the fact that you’re dating Frank?” 

Her eyes pointedly focused on Karen when she’d asked the question. Karen, who had been eyeing a pair of dark green heels, slowly began to set them back down as Marci’s perfect brows shot up onto her forehead questioningly. Without further pause Marci continued on, clearly determined to cover the topic of Karen’s new boyfriend. 

“Because I've been waiting all day for the opportunity to talk about it, especially with hearing Foggy tell me all week about the office arguments your love life has been causing,” Marci explained. “I figured when I took the day off of work and joined you both for this girl's shopping trip that we would be all over this topic today but no one has brought it up. Not even once. But I mean, you're dating that Frank. You don’t think we want the details? Like… why are you dating him?”

Your eyes flew over to Karen, watching as her shoulders dropped as if she'd been expecting this subject to be brought up at some point today. Truthfully you were a bit surprised no one had mentioned anything until now as well, but you figured Karen just didn't want to risk being lectured once again. You could only imagine how much she’d had to deal with that from Matt all week already. 

Silently you watched as Karen blew out a breath, turning on her heel and making her way over to take a seat in one of the cushioned armchairs beside you, her arms crossed over her chest as she moved. Marci hurried over after her and settled down into the chair on the other side of Karen. With rapt attention she rested her elbows on the armrest and leaned in towards her, clearly waiting for the details.

“Alright, we might as well get this over with,” Karen said flatly. “Yes, I am dating that Frank. No, he's not insane. He's actually incredibly sweet, protective, and has a big heart. And I didn't rush into things with him either, despite what Matt might try to tell you,” she continued, looking back at you and rolling her eyes a little. “There's been something there between us for years but Frank never wanted to explore anything more because he thought me being with him would put me in danger. But he also wasn't entirely at a point where he was ready to open up to someone else in that sort of way after…well…everything that had happened with his family.”

“So does he still…do that?” Marci asked carefully. “You know the uh…activities he’s been known for?”

Karen’s gaze dropped to her hands in her lap, her blonde hair curtaining her face a little. “Yeah, but not to that extent. Matt won't exactly let him–which is for the best, don’t get me wrong,” she added quickly. “But he's an ex-marine who'd been taught how to do exactly that from his time when he was in the military. I can’t exactly blame him for defaulting to what the government trained him to do, especially considering that the people who were on the receiving end honestly kind of deserved it for what they did to his family.”

Marci shifted in her seat, peering around Karen and focusing on you. One of her blonde brows arched up onto her forehead again. “And what're your thoughts on this?” she asked.

You shrugged lightly, both women now focused on you. The heels you'd been about to try on were currently forgotten on the floor by your feet with the conversation that had arisen. 

“I mean, we all know how Matt spends some of his evenings,” you answered her. “It’s not like he hasn't done his fair share of similar things to criminals in the name of keeping the city safe. In some ways it would be hypocritical of me to view Frank differently–even if he has, you know, crossed a line that Matt very much refuses to cross.”

“So you just…are indifferent about this?” Marci asked curiously.

“Not exactly, but I don’t really know the guy,” you replied. “I trust Karen’s judgment though. I’d like to think she wouldn’t date someone who truly wasn’t a good person at heart, even if it's difficult for the rest of us to understand. And if this is something that’s been developing slowly over the years, I have no idea what’s happened between the two of them. Plus, I doubt any of us saying anything based on what we know from the media about Frank would actually change her view, because I know that alone wouldn’t make me suddenly walk away from Matt.”

“Exactly,” Karen stated, shooting you a smile. “He’s not the man the media painted him to be. There’s vastly more depth and heart to him. And he’s saved my life multiple times now– and Matt’s recently.”

A bout of nerves unexpectedly broke free in your stomach, a cold fear steadily unfurling in your gut at her words. You knew Matt put himself in danger going out as Daredevil the nights he did, that was nothing new, but hearing that Frank had saved his life recently certainly had an effect on you. Were those two getting involved in something dangerous in the evenings now? Involved in something you knew nothing about? Because you hadn’t heard Matt mention anything specific to you before, though you’d noticed he’d been a little more on edge some nights when he returned home.

“Well,” Marci said, sitting back in her chair, “I guess I’m just glad Fog doesn’t put on some funny little suit and run around at night like your men do. I don’t think I’d be as calm about it if he did.” Her head turned towards Karen as she focused on her again, her eyes narrowing curiously. “Is Frank coming to the gala, by the way? As your date?”

Karen laughed loudly, shaking her head. “No, absolutely not. He wanted nothing to do with it to begin with, and I’m pretty sure Matt would have an aneurysm if he did show his face. He says it’s because of the firm’s image, but I know there’s more to it than that.”

“Guess I’ll have to meet him another time, then,” Marci said in defeat. She looked past Karen, gesturing a hand at the shoebox by your feet. “Are you going to try those on then?”

Remembering the box on the floor, you glanced back down at it, though your mind was truthfully still on the comment Karen had made about Frank having recently saved Matt’s life. That growing fear of yours about Matt finding himself in danger and you being absolutely useless to do anything to help him suddenly hit you hard. Chewing the inside of your cheek, you felt your mood sour as you bent over and removed the lid from off the shoebox. The satin sheen of the dark red heels glistened in the overhead light, but all you could see was Matt in his suit, his body lying motionless somewhere in an alley surrounded by a pool of blood. Your stomach lurched and you bit the inside of your cheek even harder.

Karen leaned over in her chair, gently placing a hand on your forearm. “Hey, are you alright?” she asked softly.

Shifting your attention towards her, you caught the look of concern etched across her features. Behind her, you’d noticed that Marci had already risen to her feet and returned to browsing the selection of heels. 

“Yeah,” you answered, your eyes returning to Karen. “It’s just…you mentioned Frank saving Matt’s life recently and it had me thinking about something again.”

Karen’s blue eyes narrowed back at you. “About what?” she asked curiously.

You sighed, once more ignoring the shoes in front of you before sitting back in the chair and focusing on her. “Do you ever feel like maybe you’re…helpless?” you began carefully. “I mean now that you’re dating Frank? Even though I know things are still new between you both.” Shaking your head, you quickly added, “I mean, I know he doesn’t have the same urge to run around like some sort of superhero that Matt often has, but I can’t help but worry that if he ever actually needed help–or was in trouble or something–that I couldn't do anything. I haven’t been able to shake this fear that I just…wouldn’t be able to help him, you know? Because I'm not like him. I can't do what he does. I can’t really do anything.”

Karen’s head tilted a little to the side, something contemplative reflecting in her eyes as she studied you in silence for a moment. You wondered if she was going to tell you that you were being ridiculous until she finally spoke.

“No, I’ve definitely felt helpless before,” she answered softly. “Even before dating Frank. And I’ve certainly had it cross my mind that being with him could land me in the middle of something dangerous. Unlike Matt, he doesn’t exactly hide who he is when he goes out and does his thing. But that’s actually why I’ve had him training me in some self-defense and–” she paused, her eyes darting over to Marci who was clearly still very ignorant of this entire conversation, “–taking me to a shooting range lately. To practice.”

Surprise washed over you at her words. So Frank had been training her? To fight and shoot guns?

“You know,” she continued slowly, her eyes still carefully studying you, “if you want, I could see if he’d be willing to teach you, too. If it would make you feel a little better, I mean. Make you feel a little safer or more capable or whatever. I’m sure Frank wouldn’t mind.”

A nervous laugh slipped out of your mouth before you immediately cut it off, shaking your head firmly at the mere suggestion. There was no way in hell Matt would ever be okay with you doing that. If anyone was going to teach you self-defense, it would be him. Though, he’d only taught you some very basic things before he’d stopped, saying that you didn’t need to learn anything further. Because he always claimed that he’d be there to keep you safe–a promise you knew he couldn’t realistically keep. And one that completely ignored your fear about keeping him safe.

“Yeah, I really don’t think Matt would like that,” you told her. “He’s afraid of me getting too close to Frank for some reason. Doesn’t want to risk me getting hurt or something, I’m not sure. But I know Frank teaching me how to tie my damn shoe would start a fight. Hell, me breathing the same air in the same room as Frank would probably start a fight between us. One I’m not sure I need to deal with.”

Karen shrugged lightly in response before rising up out of her chair. “He doesn’t exactly have to know,” she pointed out. “At least, not at first. It’s not like Frank and I can’t keep a secret if it would make you feel better. I can’t imagine Matt would be all that mad at you for learning how to take care of yourself a little more after it's already happened. But it’s entirely up to you. I’m just throwing the offer out there.”

Your gaze dropped down to the dark red heels before you. The image of Matt's lifeless and bloody body in his suit laying all alone in an alley returned to your mind. You winced at the mental image. 

“Thanks, Karen,” you replied, eyes still on the heels in the box. “I’ll uh, keep the offer in mind, I guess.”

[nanivinsmoke]

Bestfriend’s Toy

Gojo x F!Reader

had to reupload because tumblr found my og picture nsfw. baby that’s what I write here! anyways, enjoy ~

summary ~ gojo uses you as his toy, whenever, where ever he wants. gojo x f!reader

warnings ~ dom, sub, dominate male, sub reader, cream pies, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, breeding, public sex, exhibitionism and more!

the sound of squelching and loud creaks of the bed vibrated throughout the room. their bodies moved in sync as they indulged in one another. her moans were muffled by her pink laced panties that the male had put into her mouth, as he pounded her cunt sloppy.

he was underneath her, supporting her from the top, as he jackhammered her hard; her wetness making a white slippery mess on his cock. her legs were weak and wobbly, yet she was taking his dick perfectly. “mmm. take my load. yeah?” she nodded her head quickly, feeling another orgasm approaching.

he pounded faster and harder, his mushroom tip kissing her spot each time. his warm thick load pooled inside of her as his stroke became sloppy. her eyes began to roll back and that feeling came in her stomach once again, but before she could enjoy it he pulled out of her immediately, making tears brim her eyes and whimpers muffling against the fabric.

he chuckled and pulled her panties out, letting her speak her mind, “gojo…..” she whined looking at him with sad eyes, wanting to feel complete. “what’s the matter, doll?” he teased as he grabbed his boxers, knowing exactly what she wanted. “please…please let me finish,” she begged and spread her thick thighs, which let his kids flow out of her.

“my toys don’t get to finish. now be a good cum dump and put those back on, you’re wasting it” he pointed at the pink garments lying next to her, before he continued to get dressed.

y/n and gojo were best friends. they met in college and did everything together, even working at the same job as each other. one night during a game of strip poker, y/n had the winning streak but the tables turned in gojo’s favor, which ended up having the game end up as a tie. as a tie breaker he suggested something different, something that changed their relationship forever. to make that long and lewd story short, they ended up being a six and a nine that night, seeing who could cum first. he was the loser that time, but seeing how well she could make him cum loads, he decided on making her his fuck toy and she obliged.

“your receipt is in the bag, enjoy your day. beautiful” the customers squealed and smiled as Gojo flirted with them, exiting the store while giggling and talking about how cute he was. while he was putting their cash into the drawer, he glanced over at the girl that was crouching next to him, shivering and whimpering as the toy that was inserted inside her went rampant inside her hole.

“you didn’t make any noise, good girl. as your reward, im going to turn the toy off for now. in the meantime, you can go stock the shelves” his blue eyes trailed over to the next customer walking into their convenience store and a smirk appeared on his face.

waddling over to an isle, y/n moved slow as she was still weak from being overstimulated a few minutes ago. her panties were soaked with her fluids, making it uncomfortable for her to move around, she had came so much she was sure he drained her. but, the thought of being caught, the thought of someone hearing the buzzing of the toy, the thought of someone finding out what she was doing; made her blush. gojo had brought out a side she didn’t know she had. she liked it.

the customer that entered the store looked around puzzled, not able to find what they were looking for, which made the white haired male smile. he knew exactly what to do, “you need help miss?” his smile seemed genuine, but it was hardly that. “oh im looking for this,” the woman pointed at her phone and that cause gojo’s smile to widen more. “ah yes, that’s down that aisle. there should be a woman down there that can help you,” his smile was bright and the woman nodded her head.

“miss? can you help me find something that im looking for?” the woman’s voice called out to y/n who turned around and nodded with a smile, slowly waddling over to her. “Oh, that’s over he—OH!” gojo had turned on the toy once again, putting it on the highest setting. “are yoh alright miss–oh my god!” y/n had dropped to her knees, as the orgasm came upon her. the orgasm she so desperately needed caused her legs to go weak. her breathing picked up and her mind went blank.

“oh my! sorry about her, she hadn’t slept much. here! this is on the house. Im going to take care of her for a bit. thanks for stopping at our store” gojo handed the woman the item she was looking for before picking y/n’s body up and making his way to the back room. when the two were finally alone, she was still in her daze as gojo stared at her with a smirk with the remote in hand. “how many times did you cum?”

her eyes fluttered up to his, “five times…” she replied weakly and he chuckled before turning off the toy with the remote. he swiftly pulled down his zipper and pushed his hard cock through the hole and with no hesitation he slipped y/n’s panties to the side; his pink tip at her slick entrance before he stopped. his blue crystal eyes met her’s for a brief moment, before she looked away and bucked her hips closer to him and pushed him inside. “shit! attagirl. taking me so well”

her wetness immediately coated his dick, creating a film of cream over it, “you came again didn’t you?” he already knew the answer as he felt her walls contract around him. she nodded weakly her eyes fixtated on the door behind them, her ears perked up when she heard the store’s door chime on the opposite side of the door. “oh? you got excited didn’t you? let’s make sure they can hear you take this dick”

he slammed his hips foreward, pushing himself deeper inside of her making her yelp out. He continued this action more, loving the noises she finally decided to let out. “mmm. so fucking sexy, I can do it inside?” he groaned softly, stroking in and out of her sopping wet cunt. she nodded frantically hearing the customers call out for them.

gojo’s strokes became sloppier and fast paced, and his dick twitched inside of her. y/n’s orgasm came crashing down on her hard, her body twitched and her back arched, “YES!” gojo let out his load inside of her, his thick white semen dripped out of her when he pulled out.

“you know I’m going to punish you later for cumming so much, right? now, let’s go see what they want”

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 26: Carved

You and Joel search for Savvy outside of Jackson. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-25 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst because... duh when do I not serve everything with a side of angst. I wish I could tell you why. Canon typical violence. Past suicide attempt. Suicidal ideation. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 10.7k (I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HERE EITHER OK)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

It had gone unsaid for at least a day now. 

Joel had been outside of Jackson with you for nine days and there was no sign of Savvy and it was time to turn back. He’d let you lead the way, picking directions, deciding when to stop for the day (within reason, he’d had to suggest breaks and point out the conditions of the horses at least once a day.) But there was nothing that pointed to her. 

Your fourth day out, the two of you tracked a small group but it was about 10 people - three families with four kids between them - traveling to Seattle. When you found them, they were low on food so the two of you handed over the bulk of your rations. Joel told them about Jackson while you showed the younger kids the horses, keeping the occupied with a soft smile on your face as you patiently taught them how to pet Renaissance, how they had to hold their palms flat when offering her food. Joel wondered, not for the first time, how he’d never realized that you were a mother. It was so clearly built into you now that he knew to look for it. The families said they were heading for the coast and Joel hoped they found their way. 

Day seven led you both to an abandoned camp that had been occupied by some kind of small party but nothing to indicate if it was raiders or someone else, though there was at least one horse. The two of you tracked that group for the last two days but they went into a stream they didn’t immediately ford and you lost the trail entirely. 

“Fuck!” You dismounted into the water after you’d followed along the stream for several miles and seen no sign of the group on the shore. You kicked the water and screamed - the sound shrill and almost feral, more animal than human - before you fell to your knees. You collapsed back onto your heels as the stream flowed around your legs. You didn’t seem to notice. 

Joel got down from his horse, too, gathering the reins of both animals and tying them to a nearby tree before meeting you in the water. He slowly lowered himself down on one knee, careful to leave some space between the two of you. Your hands were limp atop your thighs, palms facing to the sky, head bowed, prostrate to whatever higher power would bring your daughter back.

“Bambi,” he said softly. You didn’t even lift your head. This loss hit hard, he knew. The sign of a horse had perked you up. You had sat up straighter in your saddle, your eyes had more life in them. Your body had carried the signs of hope and those signs were gone now. “It doesn’t mean anything. It could have been anyone, just because…” 

“What if she’s gone, Joel?” You asked, your voice cracked and broken. “What if it wasn’t a lie, what if…” 

“Don’t know that,” he cut you off. 

You’d told him what Mitchum had said to you, what he’d shown you as proof that your child was gone. The thought of it had nearly made him vomit, all but choking down bile as you spoke. 

It had broken you for a while. More than a year, from the sounds of it. But, one day, you decided you couldn’t know what had happened to her, not really. Mitchum hadn’t given you any actual proof. He’d told you something he knew would torture any parent, gave you the piece of a beloved animal as a trophy. But the horse had been the older one, the smaller one. The one that could have been caught while Savvy slipped away on the younger, larger animal. So you made yourself move again, made yourself start preparing for a life beyond the place they kept you chained. You made sure you were ready to search when the time came.

Joel wasn’t sure if it was delusional or if it was discerning, if your mind was just desperate to find a reason to keep living or if you were seeing the holes in the logic of the cruelty forced on you. 

“You can’t know,” he said. “Not for sure. Not unless we find her.” 

“What if she died afraid and alone?” You asked, like you didn’t even hear him. But you lifted your head at least, your eyes finding his. “What if she was cold or hurting? She gets cold so easy, she always wears socks, even in summer… I could have held her, at least, I could have made it easier…” 

Joel tried not to think about Sarah. About holding her, telling her that everything was going to be OK. About how his last words to her had been a lie. About how he wasn’t sure the last time he’d told her that he loved her. About how he wasn’t sure if telling her that as she bled out in his arms would have made it better or worse. 

“You don’t know,” he said instead. “You taught her everything you knew, right? Means she’s smart, she’s resourceful. She’s out there, Baby, she is.” 

You just looked at him, your eyes flat and dead and he wondered, for a moment, if that’s what Tommy saw looking back at him in the years before they made it to Boston. 

“C’mon,” he said, putting a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t shrink away from him. “Let’s get out of the water, it’ll be dark real soon, anyway. We can find a place to camp here, get you dried off.” 

You didn’t say anything, you just hung your head, looking down at your hands again. 

“Bambi,” he said after a minute. “Can’t help her by stayin’ here. We gotta keep you going and that means getting out of this cold water, now let’s go. Not going to do her any good if you get sick out here, let’s go.” 

You nodded a little at that and Joel got up himself before helping you to your feet. He guided you to the horses and gave you Renaissance’s reins before leading you to a place far enough away from the stream that anyone following it wouldn’t see you but close enough that it would be easy enough to refill canteens. 

He set up camp and got out dry clothes from your pack. 

“Bambi,” he said gently. You at least looked at him, even though your eyes still looked dead. “Should get changed out of those wet clothes. I’m going to go get us somethin’ to eat real quick, you get dry. OK?” 

You took the pants and socks from Joel but just stared at them for a moment. 

“Have to change, OK?” He said, watching you. “Can’t help her if you’re sick or hurt. Not good to sit in wet clothes for too long, gotta change.” 

You nodded then and he slung his rifle over his arm. 

“Gonna be alright for a bit?” He asked. You nodded. “Gonna come back to you in one piece, right?” 

You nodded again, though Joel still felt uneasy. 

“Back soon,” he said. 

He picked his way carefully through the forest, back toward the stream where there’d been plenty of signs of animal life. Since the two of you had given most of your rations to the travelers, he’d hunted almost daily. It reminded him of crossing the country with Ellie and, under other circumstances, he’d probably enjoy being out here like this with you. 

In another reality, he’d bring his guitar. After the two of you hunted together, he’d play and you’d sing and then he’d hand the instrument to you and he’d sing while you played and you’d sit so that your body was against his, where he could feel the heat of you beside him. When the fire died, you’d climb in the same sleeping bag and he’d hold you close and tight and kiss you all soft and needy. You’d moan against his mouth and he’d slip inside you as though he belonged there, at home between your thighs and burrowed against your chest. 

Instead he was alone and worried about leaving you unattended. 

He remembered what he’d been like after Sarah died. 

It wasn’t a pleasant memory. It was hard to recall the exact feeling in those early days of loss. When he focused on it, tried to actually get an idea of that hell, he was often reminded of the idea that mothers forget the pain of labor when it’s done. How the agony fades so they can face the idea of giving birth again. He wondered if that’s what his mind had done, too. If his head made that time hazy and lost so he could keep on living because surviving that again would be impossible. He’d never risk it. 

He hadn’t wanted to survive it then. He’d tried not to, lasting not even a day without his daughter’s kind smile or keen gaze or smart mouth before he pressed a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. 

For a very long time, he didn’t know why he flinched. For a very long time, he wished it had worked. And something told him that he had the same look in his eyes then that you had now. 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he got you back to Jackson. The two of you needed to turn back, you couldn’t just stay out here forever. Maria said he could have two weeks and he figured it would be OK if he pushed that by a bit but he couldn’t disappear with you for the time it took to comb every square mile of the wilderness. 

What if you gave up like him? You were so much stronger than him. You wouldn’t flinch away from it, he knew that. What if you surrendered to it and he wasn’t there to save you? What if you just didn’t show up at the stables one morning and he went to find you and instead found your body, cold and empty and alone? Just what was left of you, surrounded by your music collection and the guitar he made you and the books you scrawled notes in, all these signs pointing to your life that would be gone. His might be gone, then, too.

He settled in what he thought was a good spot, signs of rabbits plentiful. Joel set up behind a fallen log, setting up the gun, and waited. It didn’t take long. A bush rustled nearby and he turned, quickly, before going still, gun set and ready. A minute passed, then two. Finally, a rabbit emerged, taking a cautious hop into the open. He fired and it fell. He slung the gun on his back and picked the animal up - carefully, deliberately - its hind legs still warm, sinews pliable. 

He turned to start back to camp when he froze. Ahead of him was a deer, graceful and fragile, eyes wide and soft and watching him like he was watching her. Something in a nearby tree rustled and she startled for a second, wild and cautious, but stilled before looking back at Joel. At her feet was a tiny fawn, its coat speckled and its legs spindly and splayed. The mother watched him closely, like she was trying to figure out if this two-legged creature in her forest was a threat. He wondered if she’d ever seen a person before. 

“It’s OK mama,” he said softly after a moment. “Not gonna hurt you or your baby. You’re OK.” 

She watched him for another moment, not jumping when he moved - slowly - to stand up straight. It was like part of her could feel that he was safe, that she didn’t need to be so on guard with him. Eventually, she hung her head low, nudging her baby forward. Joel watched them until they were swallowed by the forest, mother leading her child through the wilderness. 

***

Life in the forest around you felt loud. 

You couldn’t make much out, all of it melding together into a drone that you could feel in your ears. There were crickets and birds and frogs and the rustle of leaves and it meant you couldn’t hear the blood in your ears anymore. Or maybe you could and the wilderness had swallowed you up, too. 

That seemed like the best option. To disappear into the earth with the untamed things. Maybe it would stop hurting then. 

You weren’t entirely sure how far you’d gone. Joel had woken you early that morning. You’d been in the middle of a dream, one that you couldn’t remember now. You just knew that your heart was racing and you kept feeling like there was something just out of your reach, something you desperately needed to get to. 

“Bambi,” he said gently, a hand on your shoulder. There was something in you that wanted to pull away but you didn’t. You stayed where you were, fumbling through your mind as you tried to remember why your heart was threatening to race out of your chest. You looked up at him, a sad look in his eyes. He always had that look now, it seemed. He took his hand back. “Sorry… You were dreaming… Didn’t seem like it was anythin’ good.” 

You just nodded and pinched your eyes shut for a moment. It didn’t seem to make a difference. 

Joel gave you something to eat - you couldn’t really taste it - and you stared into space between bites, back propped against a tree. 

“Bambi,” he said, in a tone that made it seem like it wasn’t the first time he’d said it. You turned your head to look at him, fidgeting with some of the meat Joel had given you. “We… we really need to consider heading back to Jackson.” 

You frowned. 

“But…” 

“I know,” he said gently. “And I’m so sorry we didn’t find her yet. But we need to turn back, this is day 10 and it’s gonna take a few days to make it…” 

“I can’t just give up on her, Joel,” you said quietly. “I can’t, I…” 

“I’m not saying give up on her,” he replied. “I’m saying that we go back to town, let the horses rest, plan where else to go next time. If… if we’re smart about it, we can search a good portion of the region without backtracking and covering the same ground twice, give us a better shot. But we can’t do that out here, Baby, we just can’t. We don’t have the rations, we’ll run out of ammo if we run into trouble, the horses will be pushed too hard. We need to go back.” 

You knew he was right. But it still felt so wrong, going back to Jackson without her. 

“We can take a different route back?” You asked, ready to fight him if he said no. 

“Course,” he said. “We’ll see what we can find, OK? But we need to head back.” 

You sighed, looking out to the forest you hadn’t searched, something tight and sickening settling in your stomach, like if you just pushed a little harder, went a little further, you’d find her.

“OK.” 

The sun was high and you thought you’d been riding for a while but it was hard to know for sure. You were trying to focus on everything but you had been for more than a week, and you were worried you were missing things in the haze of fog that had over taken you. Joel kept looking back over his shoulder to you, like he was making sure you were still following him even though you knew there must be the sound of you behind him. 

He looked back over his shoulder at you 13 more times - some part of you was keeping count, always aware of him - when you saw something off the trail and frowned. 

You pulled Renaissance to a stop and dismounted, Joel doing a double take back at you when he realized you were no longer following him. 

“Jesus, Bambi,” he brought Ares to a halt and got down, too, coming up alongside you. “Gotta tell me when you see something…” 

“Sorry,” you said, not looking at him. Instead, you picked your way through the brush toward what had made you stop to begin with. It was a trap, a slender branch from a young tree pulled down toward the ground, rope pulled tight. 

“Is that…” Joel frowned, so close you could feel him next to you. It didn’t bother you the way it had back in Jackson. It still sent a thrill of fear through you, making your muscles coil and tense, body preparing to defend yourself even though you knew you didn’t need to. But part of you found it oddly comforting, too. In some ways, it felt good to have him close. 

“It’s a snare,” you said, kneeling beside it. You looked closer at the rope, the fibers turning green and fraying at the edges. You reached out, delicately tracing the curve of the branch with one finger. “I think it’s been here for a bit.” 

Joel was silent for a moment. 

“Do you think…” 

“She makes these,” you said softly. “I showed her how to make a few snares, this is the one she uses the most.” 

Joel knelt beside you and you looked at him. His face was soft and eyes warm, looking less pained than you’d seen him in weeks. He got closer to the pins that kept the snare ready to snap up whatever might trigger it. 

“Think you’re right on the timing,” he said. “There’s some moss startin’ in down here, been here at least a month. Probably closer to two.” 

“She wouldn’t have just left it here,” you said as Joel sat back from the trap. “She was good about that, she always got her traps, she remembered where she put them and she got them back. She wouldn’t have just left it here…” 

“Is it OK if I take it down?” Joel’s voice was so gentle and soft, like he was holding a delicate thing with his words. “You can take a closer look at it, see if it really looks like hers…” 

You just nodded, not sure if you’d be able to speak around the knot in your throat. Joel delicately released the snare and freed the pins, one from the rope and the other from the ground. He set them, almost reverently, in your open palm and set about untying the rope from the slender branch. 

You held the pins tightly in your fist for a moment, as though you could absorb some part of Savvy through them if she’d held them like that once. When the wood felt as warm as your fingers and Joel was still beside you, holding the coil of rope, you opened your hand, picking up one of the pins and looking at it closely. 

You’d been the one who showed Savvy how to carve these pins. You’d never been particularly good at woodworking, nothing like Joel with his even, guided knife strokes that shaped the material into something that seemed to have been held within the grain of it from the beginning, he just helped reveal it. Your daughter was better at it than you. Where your pins were always jagged and harsh, hers had an elegance and smoothness to them, precision in her cuts that you’d never been able to find on your own. You’d always wondered if she’d gotten that trait from her mother or her father, if Mark had been able to shape things and you just hadn’t known. Maybe he hadn’t even known. 

The pins in your fingers were fine and almost smooth and your hand shook as you traced the arc of one. 

“Bambi?” Joel said softly. 

“These are hers,” you said, voice thick. “She… she is so good at making these, hers are always so precise and smooth and almost artistic and…” 

He gently took one from you and you let him. He examined it, too, looking closely. 

“I don’t know where she got it from,” you said, looking at him. “I never… I couldn’t teach her to do it that well, I taught her the basics but she is just good. Even when she makes them quick they’re just good and these are hers, Joel, I know they are.” 

“What would make her abandon a trap?” He asked after a moment, looking back at you. 

You thought for a second. 

“Bad weather, maybe,” you said. “If… if she got hurt. If something drove her out of the area and she didn’t have time to collect everything or if she was too hurt to go back for it, that’s the only thing.” 

He nodded slowly, looking back at the pin.

“Joel,” your voice trembled. “Joel, what if something happened to her? What if she’s hurt? What if someone took her, what…” 

“We don’t know anything yet,” he said gently. “It could have been bad weather and she packed up quick. Or she saw a threat and left before it saw her, too.” 

“We have to look around here,” you said. “Please, Joel, I know we’re heading back but we have to look, I can’t…” 

“We’ll look,” he said. “We’ll look, it’s OK.” 

You just nodded and pressed your forehead into his shoulder. You did it without thinking, it was just instinct. Joel was stable and warm and smelled like home and you needed that. You needed him. He was still for a moment before he put an arm around you, holding you gently. 

“We will find her, baby,” he said gently. “It’s OK.” 

The two of you looked for signs of her immediately around the snare but you weren’t that discouraged when you didn’t find any. It had been weeks, footprints in mud and the scars of missing bark from trees would be long gone. 

“Which way would she go?” Joel asked, watching you. 

You sighed, looking around. Your heart was beating like you were running from something and at a fork in the road, forced to make a life or death choice. 

“There’s water, northeast of here I think, right?” You said, trying to orient yourself. “She knew to stick near where she could find water, I think she’d head that way.” 

Joel nodded slowly. 

“Then that’s where we’ll go.” 

He watched you closely for a moment. Your jaw was tight, whole being taut and tense. He slowly, cautiously, reached for you, giving you every opportunity to pull away from him. You didn’t. Instead, you let him pull your worn body against his, his arms wrapping around you, his lips brushing your hair. You put your arms around him, looping them up and over his back, fingers splaying wide and clutching him close for a moment. 

“It’s OK Bambi,” he said. You could feel his voice in his chest. “It’s going to be OK.” 

You took the lead again, every direction change and choice feeling bigger than any other you’d ever made. Every path not followed hurt, a chance that you were losing. You tried not to think about it but your mind kept getting stuck, as though if you concentrated hard enough you could pull yourself apart and the pieces could keep searching. It didn’t matter much if you couldn’t put it all back together again. If you found her, it was worth it. If you didn’t, what would be the point. 

Dusk was on the horizon when you started looking for a place to stop for the night. 

“What’s that?” Joel said after you’d started looking for a good place to rest as well as for signs of Savvy. “To the east a bit?” 

You looked back at him to see where he meant and followed his eye line. There was a bright spot through the trees about a football field away. You frowned a little. 

“Worth looking at,” you looked back toward Joel. He just nodded before nudging Ares toward the bright spot and you followed with Renaissance. When you went to overtake him, he held his hand out. 

“Should stay behind me,” he said. “Just… in case.” 

You frowned a little but nodded and fell in behind him, watching as he brought his rifle forward. Your grip on Renaissance tightened and she huffed, her ears twitching. 

It was almost a let down when it was just a small clearing. For a moment, you thought it was just a quirk of the forest but you saw another spot just beyond that was brighter, too. You dismounted. 

“Got the map?” You asked, tying Renaissance off on a nearby tree before working your way through the brush to the other bright spot. It was a clearing, too. “Looks like campsites.” 

“Here,” Joel said as you came back over, Ares tied off near Renaissance, the map in his hand. “We’re toward the north end of the Shoshone National Forest. Or should be, anyway.” You nodded, looking at the map. It didn’t have things like camp grounds marked that you could see. “Thinkin’ we’re about here.” 

He pointed to a spot on the map and you nodded again. 

“Near water,” you said, looking back up at him. 

“Yeah,” he said. “It’d be a good spot.” 

“Let me just…” you looked out toward the other clearing. “I’ll be back.” 

You didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, you just went back toward the other site, crossing it this time and working your way through the brush to another site. There were five all told and you found the remains of a fire at the fourth one. You knelt beside the small fire pit, the ash pile tall enough that you could tell it was from more than just a day or two. Joel appeared beside you. 

“Someone was here,” you said, nodding at it. “For a little while.” 

Joel’s hand went to the middle of your back and you jumped a little at his touch before you relaxed into it. 

“Could be,” he said, replying to the words you couldn’t say. You just nodded. 

The two of you settled in for the night, finishing off the rabbit from the night before. You tried not to think about patrolling with Joel. How you’d sit near him and find comfort in his presence, how you wanted to do everything beside him. Part of you still lived in that feeling. The rest of you was still chained to a wall, begging for help but getting none. 

Joel hummed quietly as he carved - some small figure that you were curious about but couldn’t bring yourself to ask after - as you stared at the fire, watching the crackle as the wood popped and sparks flew. 

“Do you think I’m crazy?” You asked, arms looped around your knees, looking across the flames to him when you couldn’t take the silence and distance anymore. 

Joel frowned, raising his eyes to yours.

“No. Why would I think you’re crazy?” 

“For doing this,” you said. “Searching with no real idea of where to go, endless space to look, all for someone I don’t…” 

Your voice broke and you looked back at the fire. 

“No,” he said gently. “Not crazy. I’d do the same thing.” 

“Is that why you’re helping me?” You asked, looking back at him. 

He considered you for a moment, a brief flash of hurt in his eyes. 

“Part of it,” he said eventually. “But, Sweetheart… I’d do anything for you. Lookin’ for your girl… that’s… there’s no question. I’m always going to want to help you, always going to want to take care of you. Doesn’t matter what it is but especially with this.” 

You nodded and buried your face in your arms for a moment before you sighed. 

“I’m scared I’m losing my mind,” you said before looking back at him again. “I don’t know if… If what I’m thinking and hoping and basing all this around is real or if it’s just… For a while, when I was with them, when I thought she was gone, I wanted to die. There just wasn’t a reason for any of it and everything just hurt all the time but I couldn’t do it. I just kept living and I resented it. But, after a while, it’s like I talked myself out of it. I convinced myself that she could be out there. Just enough that I could forget how much it hurt. And then I got out. But every time I saw something that made me think that it could be a sign of her… I think I’ve been moving toward this for a long time. Where I can’t be in limbo anymore and can’t just avoid it, where I need to know and… I don’t know how much of it is real and smart and how much of it is something just made out of the hurt and the fact that it seemed like it should have killed me but it didn’t. I don’t know how sane any of it is, Joel. I don’t. But I don’t know if I can survive without it and…” 

You buried your face in your arms again, tears stinging your eyes. 

“I understand, Bambi,” he said gently. You looked up at him, frowning a little. “I did a lot of that when… after Sarah died. I knew she was gone, there wasn’t a question of that. I felt it happen. But… I couldn’t live with it, either.” 

You frowned a little, watching him closely. 

“Tried to end it,” he said, sniffing once, his voice tight. “Next day. Put a gun to my head, figured it’d be quick. Didn’t work, obviously. Flinched.” 

“Joel…” 

“Spent a lot of years after that hidin’ from it,” he continued, turning his carving over in his hands. “Tried not to think about her. Regret that now. Who knows what I forgot because I was so busy trying to not hurt. Tommy never even said her name. We never talked about her. But it seemed like the best part of my day was the half a second after I woke up when I didn’t remember she was gone. Always felt like she was in the next room, that I’d need to make sure she was moving to get out the door on time for school… It took a long time before I found something else to live for. And it sure seems like she found me, not the other way around. Then we came to Jackson and I… I found you. With her and with you, seemed like there was a reason I flinched back then. Like part of me knew there was a reason to go on and I’d find it eventually. 

“You’ve got that, too. Even if… even if it’s not me and even if it doesn’t seem like it. You have things to live for, baby. Promise you do. You may not even know what they are yet but you have ‘em. You just have to keep living, that’s all. Just keep survivin’. Please.” 

You watched him through the flames for a moment before you got up and came around the flames to sit beside him, close but not so close that you were touching. He froze as you leaned over, slowly, to rest your head on his shoulder. 

“I’m glad it didn’t work,” you said quietly. 

“Me, too,” he replied after a moment. 

“I don’t know what I want right now,” you said, watching the fire. “But I know that I’m glad you exist. That I want you to be happy.” 

You felt him turn ever so slightly, his lips and his nose brushing the top of your head. 

“I’m here for you,” he said softly. “However you want me, I’ll do whatever you want. As long as you’re safe and happy, I’ll do whatever you want.” 

He held his large hand out to you, a small carving of a deer in his fingers. You took it, turning its delicate body in the light. 

“It’s yours, if you want it,” he said quietly. “All yours either way.” 

***

You wanted to follow the river the next day. Joel was fine with that, especially since you picked the route that curved back toward Jackson. Or, at least, in that general direction. It was still a few days ride and he’d already made notes of where you’d found signs of Savvy to come back and check again if the two of you didn’t find her on this trip out. 

You were more yourself than you had been in a long time. The two of you stopped for lunch and to give the horses a longer break and Joel started carving again, just to give himself something to do besides look at you. That hurt too much.

“Can you teach me?” You asked after a few minutes. He looked at you for a moment, surprised you were talking to him at all. It had been a quiet almost two weeks with you. 

“Sure,” he said before you had a chance to take it back. “Want to come sit by me? Grab…” he looked around for a moment before finding a hunk of wood on the ground that looked like it would work. “That there?” 

You nodded and moved to be next to him. Careful, he noticed, to not touch him but close enough that you could easily see his hands. He cleared his throat. 

“Want to find the grain of the wood,” he said, watching as you turned the chunk of wood in your hands. “Want to work with it, go against it and it’ll split.” 

“Makes sense,” you said. Fuck, you were so close to him. 

“Start with a rough cuts, get the outline of what you want to make,” he said. “Knife in your dominant hand, wood in the other. Hold it real firm and cut away from your body in thin slices, don’t go too deep or it’ll fracture.” 

You nodded and looked at the wood again, frowning down at it.

“What do you want to make?” He asked after you didn’t move to cut it. 

“A moose, I think,” you said. “Just not sure where to start.”  

He nodded slowly. 

“Can I?” He asked, hand out. You shrugged and handed the wood over. He turned it in his hands for a moment, getting a feel for the shape of it, finding the grain. “Here,” he said, holding it close to you. “Back’ll probably be this part here…” He notched the blade against the wood and cut into it. “That’ll make this the neck.” He adjusted the knife and cut again. “Legs down here. You try that one.” 

He handed the wood back and your fingers brushed his as you took it. He clenched his hand into a fist in his lap, squeezing some of the tension swelling in him out before releasing it. 

“Here?” You asked, lining up your knife. 

“Yeah,” Joel said. “But turn it a bit so you’re cuttin’ more away from yourself…” He helped you adjust and felt your skin on his again. You made the cut. “There ya go. Go back over the whole thing like that, shave off a bit more…” 

You nodded and set to work and Joel tried to not watch you too obsessively. He didn’t want to push you away or make you uncomfortable but fuck you were so close and you weren’t mad at him. So much of what he remembered of how you felt in his arms had gotten mixed up in the night you’d left Jackson, how he clutched onto you while you screamed. He wasn’t sure you’d ever let him close again and now you were beside him because you chose it. He couldn’t ruin it. He went back to his own carving.

“Alright,” you said eventually, holding up the wood. “Think I’ve got it. Now what?” 

He looked at it and nodded.

“Good job,” he said. “There are two other kinds of cuts you’ll use for the rest of it. One where you pull the knife toward yourself - most common one - and one where you push it. Pull is a lot like paring, you’re gonna brace the wood with your thumb and then pull your knife towards it.”He showed you on his carving and you leaned in close, nodding. “Keep your thumb back so you don’t get hurt, though.” 

You nodded and positioned your hands like his before pressing into the wood. The first cut was jagged but the beginning of the technique was there. And you didn’t cut your thumb, so it was enough for him to call it a success.

“Good,” he said and you looked up at him, smiling a little. 

He showed you how to do the push stroke, too, and the two of you sat in near silence for a bit, working at your carvings. Joel kept glancing your way, trying to not look too long so he didn’t distract you but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t grateful for it. He was close to you, close enough that your elbow brushed against him now and then and he could hear you breathing, with a reason to look at you. He’d have been happy to stay like that for hours, with birds singing and you breathing, like nothing bad had ever happened to either of you at all. 

You’d made good progress when you cursed and hissed, dropping the wood and bringing your hand to your mouth. 

“Cut your thumb?” He asked, setting his carving and knife down. You nodded, thumb between your lips. He held out his hand. “Lemme see.” 

“Uh uh,” you muttered as you sucked on your injured finger. 

“C’mon, Bambi,” he smiled a little. “Happens to everyone, especially when you’re learnin’. Lemme see it.” 

You looked at him with those wide eyes of yours like you were half expecting him to judge you for your slip. But you sighed and pulled your thumb from your mouth and thrust your hand at him. He took it gently, yours so much smaller than his own that it seemed delicate even with the callus from guitar and riding on your fingertips and palms. The cut on your thumb started beading with blood before he had a chance to look at it and he frowned for a second before raising your hand to his mouth, putting your small hurt between his lips and pulling the salt and copper of you into him. Your breath hitched and Joel felt you stiffen beside him and it was only then that he realized what he’d done without thinking, the casual intimacy of caring for your body with his own. There was still a part of him that couldn’t accept the separation from you. It felt like an unnatural thing, you existing so separate from him that you could be hurting next to him and he was supposed to ignore it hadn’t even crossed his mind. He pulled your hand carefully from his mouth. 

“Sorry,” he said, voice gruff, as he delicately examined the cut. It was deeper than he’d hoped but not to the bone. “S’not too bad, lemme just…” He released your hand and went into his bag, pulling out a scrap of fabric he had just for this kind of injury. He took your hand back and poured a little water over the cut before he wrapped it tightly, knotting the cotton around your thumb. “Keep that elevated for a minute, should stop bleeding before too long. When it does, we’ll get going.” 

You nodded and Joel picked up your carving from where you’d dropped it. The moose was starting to take shape, though its form was jagged and rough. But the ruggedness suited it, something powerful not easily contained by the wood. Your blood stained the side of its chest, near where its heart would be. Joel tried to wipe it away but some had already seeped in, a red splotch on its chest.

“I ruined him,” you said, sounding a little sad. Joel glanced over at you, your eyes focused on the small creature in his palm, lips turned into a small frown.

“Think he’ll be alright, Bambi,” Joel smiled a little. “Besides, he only exists because of you. Don’t think you can ruin him.”

After a moment, Joel took your bleeding hand back and checked the bandage. It looked to be holding. 

“We should go,” you said, a little breathless, watching him. 

“Yes,” a voice from behind the two of you said. “You really should.” 

Joel jumped to his feet and drew his gun, aiming it at a group of five men who - while he was distracted by you and your proximity and your blood - had managed to sneak up on him. He cursed himself silently as he glanced quickly to where you’d been. You were on your feet, too, gun drawn and held in front of you. He adjusted so he was between you and them. 

“Not lookin’ for any trouble,” Joel said. “Just passing through. Appreciate it if you’d let us.” 

“Not too fond of folks passing through,” one of the men stepped forward, lowering his gun just a bit. The other four kept their weapons trained on Joel. He wasn’t in a good position to take out a group like this. He wished he had his rifle instead of his handgun but the rifle was strapped to Ares and he was tied to a tree a good 20 feet away. He ground his teeth. “Because it never seems like they’re just passing through.” 

Joel stepped back until he felt you at his back and he breathed a little easier. He just needed to keep you in one piece, that’s all. 

“Well, we are,” Joel said. “Looking for someone, think she might have come through here. Once we look for her, we’ll be on our way.” 

“No one out here but us,” the man said. “Took this territory few months back and believe me, we’re not about to let anyone just take what’s ours.” 

“She wouldn’t steal from you,” you snapped, stepping out from behind Joel. 

“Bambi,” he hissed but you ignored him. 

“She’s a teenager,” you said. “Brown skin, brown eyes, curly hair. She set up a snare about a day’s ride from here so she was probably around for a while…” 

“Told you,” the man said. “Don’t let people take what’s ours. This is our territory, don’t let just anybody hunt on it. We got folks to look after, can’t have just anyone taking animals on our land. Including you. So you can come with us or we can handle this here.” 

Joel glanced at you, trying to do the calculus of what was the best move. Did he risk taking a hand off his weapon to throw you behind him? Did he start shooting and move himself in front of you? Did he try to talk these idiots down? 

“We haven’t hunted in days,” you bit out before Joel had a chance to decide. “Haven’t taken anything of yours, just want to keep looking…” 

“See, now, don’t think I can believe that,” the man said. Joel clenched his jaw. “Sure as shit can’t trust you to just stay in our territory…” 

“We’ll leave,” Joel said, catching a glimpse of your head whipping around to stare him down. “Already heading back toward ours…” 

One of the the four men toward the back took a step closer to you and Joel reacted before he really thought about it. It was instinctual. There was a threat to you and he took that threat down, the gunshot cracking through the air as the man dropped to the earth. 

Everything happened quickly then. There was a split second of near silence, the echo of the bullet hanging heavy over the shocked silence of the surrounding forest, and the shooting began. 

Joel moved for you as one of your bullets hit one of the men. Joel threw you behind a tree and kept shooting as the other men scrambled for cover. 

“Three left,” you said, scrambling to reload before looking up at Joel, panting for breath. “Should leave at least one alive, question him.” 

Joel nodded, gun low. A chunk of tree trunk exploded near his head and he flinched. 

“I’m gonna draw their fire…” 

“No,” you shook your head, cutting him off. “No, you can’t…” 

“You cover me,” he said, ignoring you. “They’re gonna expose themselves to take a shot, take ‘em down then. Stay back. Something happens to me, get out of here, OK?” 

“Joel,” you said, voice sharp and eyes wide, but he pressed on. There was the sharp crack of another bullet hitting the tree. 

“You need to stay alive for her, OK?” He said. “Understand? You’re the only one who knows she’s missing and how to find her so you stay alive for her.” 

He didn’t wait for you to respond. Instead he looked back over his shoulder and around the tree, as much as he dared to catch a glimpse of their positions before looking back at you. 

“I’m going on three, OK baby?” He looked in your eyes for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time and took a deep breath. He wanted to touch you, promise you it was all going to be OK, but kept his hands on his gun. “I love you. No matter what.” 

He counted down before you had a chance to say anything back and ran for a tree that would give him cover while also giving him a chance to get closer to the last of the men. A bullet passed so close to him he felt it on the air and you started shooting almost immediately, your second shot hitting one of the men in the chest. Joel kept shooting and so did you, but he was pretty sure it was his shot that felled the next man, just as he reached the other tree. That left one who was alive. He reloaded and looked over to you from his new position, your chest heaving but face set firm. He jerked his head back, hoping you’d understand what he wanted you to do. You nodded once. He held up three fingers and you nodded again. He counted down and you both moved. He tracked you with his eyes for a moment, thankful you got what he’d been trying to communicate with you. You moved quickly but delicately around the edge of the trees, going to loop around the back side of where the men were hiding. Joel went the other way. With any luck, he’d meet you in the middle by the final man. 

“You two sure cause a lot of trouble for folks just passin’ through,” the first man called. Joel was quiet. That meant he probably hadn’t seen the two of you start to move. “Should understand why we kill everyone who comes through. Probably killed that girl you’re after. If she was around here few months back we did.” Joel clenched his jaw. He was getting close to the man’s position, having to move slowly to not make a sound. “Cleared the land when we took over, folks could join up or they got handled. If she’s anything like you two, she got handled.” 

Joel barely had a chance to hope you didn’t take the bait when you roared, the sound sharp and harsh. He moved quickly then, just in time to see you knock the man’s gun out of his hand as he got a shot off. It grazed your arm but you didn’t seem to notice. You tackled him but couldn’t leverage yourself to stay on top fast enough and he slammed you into the ground with a sickening thud. You were still as he scrambled to his feet and brought his foot down, hard, on your arm. Joel heard it snap half a second before you screamed and he finally - finally - reached the man, looping an arm around his throat and pulling him back, pressing the gun to his temple. 

“That was a fuckin’ mistake,” he growled. The man clawed uselessly at Joel’s arm. “If you’re smart, you’ll cooperate. If you ain’t, that’s OK too. Don’t mind forcing you.” 

Joel looked down toward you, tears in your eyes as you lay flat on your back, pupils blown. 

“You still with me, baby?” He asked, resisting the urge to snap the man’s neck. You nodded and blinked tears from your eyes. “Good. Stay put, just a minute, OK?” 

Joel wrenched the man around and shoved him to the ground before pressing him back against a tree. He flinched back for a moment and Joel almost smiled at him. He was afraid. Afraid was good.

“Gonna ask you just a few questions,” Joel said, gun still pressed to the man’s chest. “And you can tell me what I want to know or I can hurt you. Either way, I get what I want. Don’t matter much to me which way it goes.” 

“Sure we can work something out,” the man said, his eyes darting and wide. “We’ve got a good crew, we’re setting up something permanent, could use someone with your skills…” 

“Don’t need a place,” Joel cut him off. “Especially not with someone who would kill a kid. That what you did? You kill a kid?” 

“Look…” he said but Joel turned the gun down and pressed it to the man’s thigh, pulling the trigger. The shot was nearly deafening and the spray of blood was hot as the man screamed, his hands flying to his mangled leg, his torso arching over his injured limb. Joel calmly wiped the man’s blood off his gun using some denim that had missed the splatter before he holstered it. He pulled out his knife and opened it before pressing his knee into the shin of the man’s injured leg. He screamed again and Joel held up the knife.

“Got plenty of places I can put this, too,” he said, voice calm. “So answer the question. Did you kill a kid?” 

“I’m sorry,” he slumped back against the tree, his hands clutching around his injured thigh, as though that would hold him together. “We… we killed a lot of people when we moved in here, there were people all through this area but they… they weren’t organized, just nomads. They were a threat, we’ve been running from another group, made it far enough from where they mark their territory, needed to stake a claim before we lost that, too. We offered… anyone we found we offered a place but if they didn’t hold up their end or if they turned it down we killed ‘em, couldn’t let ‘em live, they knew too much, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” 

“Still haven’t answered the question,” Joel said. “Did you kill a kid?” 

“My kid,” you said, voice closer than Joel had expected it. He glanced back to you and you were standing just behind him, cradling your arm to your chest. “She’s 14, brown skin, brown eyes, curly hair. She was out here about two months ago. Seen anyone like that?” 

Joel tried to not picture Sarah trying to navigate the wilderness alone.

“No,” the man shook his head quickly. “No, I haven’t I swear I haven’t, not back at the settlement, not out here, I haven’t, I promise! I promise.” 

“Any of your buddies mention someone like that?” Joel asked, knife still in hand. “Any of your buddies take a liking to teenaged girls?” 

“What?” He frowned. Joel sighed and thrust the knife into the man’s good leg at the knee. He screamed, shooting forward in pain. Joel waited for the choking sobs to turn to whimpers. 

“Asked if your buddies might have mentioned her,” he said. “Or if any of ‘em like teenaged girls. Think you know what I’m askin’.” 

The man panted and looked up at you, as though you’d help him. Joel grabbed the man’s chin, yanking his gaze back to him. 

“Not at her,” he said. “You’re with me. Answer the question or I’m gonna make things a whole lot worse for you. Any of your buddies mention a girl like her? Any of them have a habit of taking up with girls?” 

“No,” he said, tears streaming down his face. “No, none of them mentioned her but…” 

Joel was quiet for a moment, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, he gripped the knife, adding just enough pressure that the man yelped and started panting for breath. 

“But?” Joel asked. 

“But they wouldn’t have mentioned her!” He cried out, opening his eyes to look up at you again. “We didn’t talk about who we took out, there were a few dozen and… I’m sorry, if she was here… if she was here when we came through…” 

Joel pulled the knife out before he could finish the statement. You didn’t need to hear that. 

“Where’s your settlement?” Joel asked, wiping the blood on a clean spot on the man’s shirt before pressing the point to the man’s throat, just enough that he’d feel the sharp of it.

“Northeast!” He said. “Northeast, just south of the road going into Cody, about 20 miles west of the town. We… we’ve claimed through here all the way about five miles south as ours, we’ve got about 250 folks up that way…” 

Joel nodded and closed the knife before standing. He looked over at you, at the cold and detached look in your eyes. 

“Bambi,” he said gently, but you ignored him. 

Instead, you pulled out your gun and aimed it at the man’s head. He barely had a chance to raise his hands, didn’t have a chance to beg for his life, before you shot him point blank, his blood splattering your good hand as your broken arm hung, limp and misshapen, at your side. The man’s body slumped over and you screamed at it, the sound seeming like it was ripping up from the center of you. You screamed until you were out of breath and you stood there, standing over the man’s broken form, the gun dangling from your fist, tears in your eyes. 

Joel wordlessly went to one of the other men, one he’d shot in the head. The blood splatter on his shirt was minimal. He pulled it off the corpse and brought it over to you. 

“Give me your arm,” he said gently. You didn’t seem to hear him. He gingerly took the elbow of your broken arm and you jumped, looking at him like you were surprised he was there. “Here, it’s OK sweetheart.” 

He tucked your arm into the soft flannel before he tied the sleeves of the shirt together and draped it around your neck. He went to your other arm, the one that had been grazed by the gunshot and looked at you for a moment, a silent request for permission. You gave him a single nod before he poured water over the wound, cleaning it as best he could. It didn’t look too bad, at least. It would leave a scar but the damage shouldn’t be anything more than that. He got a bandage from his pack and wrapped it around your bicep before tying it off. 

“Bambi,” he said again, though he wasn’t sure what he was going to say. 

“We should move,” you said, your voice flat. “Sure that drew plenty of attention.” 

You stalked back over to where the horses had been tethered - thankfully safe from the gunfire - and stopped to pick up the carving and your knife from the ground. Joel followed behind you and watched as you carefully packed the half-formed moose away before tucking the folded knife into your pocket. He went to help you up onto Renaissance but you brushed him off. 

“Broken bones before,” you snapped. You tried to glare at him but your eyes were so empty. “Know how to get on a horse with one, I’m not useless.” 

“OK,” he said softly. “I’m here if you need.” 

You mounted up fine - not that he should have been surprised - and Joel got on Ares, both horses surprisingly serene given the gunfight that had happened not far from them only 20 minutes earlier. But Joel knew you’d worked to desensitize them to the sound of guns. You’d made them all but warhorses, sturdy enough to withstand anything the apocalypse would throw at them. It had served the two of you well.

“They said northeast, right?” You asked, looking back over your shoulder at him. 

“Bambi…” 

“If they killed her, I’m killing them,” you said. “I don’t care.” 

“You don’t know that they did,” he said, bringing his horse alongside yours. 

You stared him down. 

“Sounds like they killed enough to deserve it either way.” 

“Maybe so,” Joel said carefully. He tried to imagine how someone would need to talk him down from killing everyone who’d planned to kill Ellie. If someone would have even been able to stop him from killing every person in that goddamn hospital. “But you’re hurt…”

“Joel.”

 “We’re low on ammo. Goin’ now will just get you killed and…” 

“So?” You yelled. “Do you think I care? You think it matters if…” 

“It matters!” He yelled back, his chest tight. He fought to stay in the present, stay with you here in the wild and not in a field outside Austin as he felt his daughter die and not on the floor of a broken house with your cold, barely breathing body pressed against him. “It matters to me and it matters to Ellie and, goddammit, it matters to your daughter! You don’t know, Bambi, you can’t know if she’s gone. But you’re the only one who knows how to look for her and I’m not going to let you throw that away, I’m not. I am not takin’ you there and we both know that, without one arm, you ain’t gettin’ far without me. We’re going back to Jackson. Now.”

You stared him down for a moment, a shadow of rage in your eyes before that died, too. He made you take the lead so he could keep a proper eye on you and the two of you made decent progress before stopping for the night, Joel hunting on the way so he wasn’t going to leave you unattended. He took your weapons when you did. You glared at him but handed over your side arm. 

“Knife, too,” he said, his hand out. 

“Fuck you.” 

He didn’t take the bait. He just kept his hand out. After a moment, you wrenched it out of your pocket and smacked it into his waiting palm. 

“Thank you.” 

You kept your distance from him that evening, just staring blankly into the fire and cradling your broken arm. 

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Bambi,” he said as you set up to sleep and he got set to keep watch. “I’m trying to protect you.” 

“I know,” you said quietly. 

It took days to reach Jackson, your arm discolored and pain the only thing visible in your eyes when you got there. Joel brought you straight to the clinic and walked you inside, still not willing to let you out of his sight. He couldn’t hold your body. Not yours, too. 

He took the horses to the stables, giving a confused Renaissance an extra apple as she chuffed, looking for you. 

“Gettin’ her taken care of, too,” he said gently stroking her neck. She bobbed her large head. “She’ll… she’ll get there. It’s OK.” 

He went back to the clinic after and sat on the steps outside, waiting for you to come out, hoping he wouldn’t see Ellie until he went home for the night. He wanted to see her, hug her, but he wasn’t sure if you could handle it. And he didn’t want to try to explain everything to her, at least not everything about you. 

Joel wasn’t sure how long he sat there waiting when the door behind him opened with a creak and he turned to see you standing at the top of the steps, your arm in a proper cast with more than a makeshift sling this time. 

“You’re still here,” you said, your voice flat. 

“Figured I’d walk you home,” he replied. 

“What, haven’t had enough of me over the last few weeks?” You asked. It seemed like you’d meant to put your usual bite behind the words but they were just hollow. 

“No,” he replied. “No such thing as enough of you.” 

He carried your pack for you, walking alongside you on your slow path home. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked after a few minutes of silence. 

You shrugged. 

“Took some doing to get my arm set. Had worse.” 

Joel nodded. 

“And how are you feeling… outside that.” 

You were quiet for a moment. 

“I don’t know.” 

He nodded again, making his way to the front gate of your home. You opened it and didn’t stop him from coming up the walk so he followed you to your door. You stopped there, holding out your good arm for your bag. 

“Thanks for your help,” you said, looking at his chest instead of really at him. 

“Course,” he said. You went to open your door but he stopped you, a large hand cupped gently around the elbow of your intact arm. “Bambi…” 

You looked at him with those wide eyes. He sighed. 

“I don’t know if it’s right, leaving you here alone.” 

“I’ll be OK,” you shrugged. “Not your job to worry about me.” 

“I want to worry about you.” 

You sighed. 

“Joel…” 

“I do,” he said. “Doesn’t matter what you do or say, I do. And I’m going to.” 

You looked at him. 

“I don’t think it’s good for us to spend time together right now,” you said. 

He tried to not let the hurt show, the feeling of a knife twisting in his gut. 

“You want something different than me,” you continued. ���And I just… I can’t. Not right now. And I don’t think us spending time together is smart.” 

Joel nodded slowly. 

“I can wait.” 

“You shouldn’t,” you said, chin jutting out defiantly. The knife twisted again. “You should move on. It’s for the best.” 

“And what are you gonna do?” He asked. 

You sighed and looked back out at the street. There were birds in the distance and the wind blew in the smell of apple blossoms from the orchard just outside the walls. It would be idyllic if his heart wasn’t cracking open and bleeding on your porch. 

“Survive, I guess.” 

“Bambi,” you looked back at him. “Meant what I said out there. You can’t give up, OK? You have to find something to fight for. You can. I know you can. And we don’t know if what they said was true, we can’t know. We can keep looking. Once you’re healed, we’ll find another window, we’ll search. She got out of there in a hurry, she probably just…” 

“Right,” you said. It didn’t sound like you believed it. 

“Promise me,” he said. 

You frowned. 

“Promise you what?” 

“That if I leave you here you won’t do what I did,” he said. “That you’ll be stronger than me and live with it. That if you need someone you’ll come to me and you won’t try to do it alone. Because I meant it, all of it. May not be the same for you anymore but that’s OK. Think I can love you enough for the both of us, just come to me when you need it, please. Need you to promise me, sweetheart. Please.” 

“Joel…” 

“Promise me.” 

 Your eyes met his and, for a moment, he could have sworn he saw a shadow of the spark of you there. That you were there, buried deep in grief and pain and betrayal. 

You took a deep breath.

“I promise.” 

Joel slowly, cautiously, raised a hand to cup your cheek. You didn’t stop him. Instead, you closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, your lips parting like you were going to kiss him. But you didn’t and he didn’t try to take it. Instead, he tilted your head and nuzzled against your forehead for a moment before kissing you there, pressing his lips against your skin, breathing in the smell of your hair. He lingered against you as long as he could before he stepped back, taking a moment to memorize you. 

You took a deep breath. 

“Goodbye, Joel.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Goodbye, Bambi.” 

Next Chapter

A/N: I am so so sorry for the wait on this and for the fact that it's a bit of a monster chapter. It got away from me, I admit. I'm trying to get back into the swing of my regular writing cadence now that the holidays are through and I so appreciate you being here and your patience ❤️

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[milliesfishes]

Pray You Catch Me

[fem reader] contains: mentions of pale skin, cheating, suggestive, innocent reader, reader cares to some level about snow. pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader summary: (au) you’ve been married to the president of Panem for awhile now, and you thought things were going well, until you find out he’s been cheating. author’s note: definitely going to make this a series, this isn’t necessarily a dark fic, but it’s not not a dark fic so keep that in mind. This is my first fic on tumblr and I’m still figuring out how to use the site in regards to fanfiction, figuring out what warnings I need to include so let me know if I missed anything :) 

It’s a strange thing to find out that someone you’re not supposed to love cheated on you.

This is a fact you found to be true one night as you wandered the halls of the mansion you inhabited with your husband, the president of Panem. The beautiful, tortured, powerful Coriolanus Snow. A match made in heaven, as your father proclaimed when he told you after your graduation from the university. Somehow, the fact that he’d let you finish school, knowing you’d only be married off afterward made it worse.

But as Coriolanus began to court you, suddenly it wasn’t a horrible idea. He was young, and very handsome, a far cry from the men some of your girlfriends had been forced to marry. Old, balding men with more money than yellowing teeth, and horribly old-fashioned demeanors. 

Coriolanus was just as wealthy, thanks to his former Gamemaker position, and the only thing paler than his perfect blond hair was his full mouth of teeth. As for his demeanor, well, he was cold, lightly controlling (typical of a man in the Capitol), but he’d charmed you right down the aisle after all so how bad was it really?

Marriage wasn’t the storybook romance you’d fantasized about in your youth, but it was fine enough, and besides, you’d left those daydreams in the past. You never wanted for anything, were at the height of society, admired and beloved by all, especially now that he was president. The two of you made a beautiful couple, and you were free to do as you pleased, your only obligations being typical marital duty when he requested so and attending the various events his presidency demanded from him on his arm, the perfect little wife.

Even though this was an arranged marriage, and you knew he didn’t love you per se, you knew he was at least fond of you. Through the little smiles he offered you when you’d say something particularly sweet or funny, and the gifts he lavished you with, and the fact that he insisted you slept in the same bed, he showed you. And little by little, you came to like him. You looked forward to eating with him every morning and evening, even came to enjoy his touch, the little ways he gave himself to you as a husband. He treated you with respect, and you gave him what he wanted. Your body, your devotion, your image. 

All in all, after almost three years of marriage, you were content.

Until one night, when you were walking down the hallway where his office was, planning on asking him when he was coming to bed. It was getting late, and you’d taken it upon yourself to make sure he got some sleep. Besides, you missed having his warm body beside yours as you fell asleep.

Bare feet padding down the hallway, clad in a silk dressing gown, you crept toward the door. He was talking to someone on the phone, and you smiled softly. That was Coriolanus, always working. Devoted to his career, his life’s work.

You pressed your ear to the door, wondering if he was wrapping up the conversation so you could walk through the door and see him. As you did, you caught the middle of a sentence.

“...told you not to call me here, dove,” he said quietly, almost urgently.

The weight of it hit you like a punch. Dove. That was his pet name for you. Your eyes widened, and your vision blurred, the room seeming to tilt. Dovedovedovedove.

Who was he talking to?

Ear pressed to the door, you tried to make out the conversation. Maybe it’d been some kind of sick Freudian slip, a mistake.

“...I know, I know,” he said in hushed tones, voice cold. “No, not tomorrow, it’s my wife and I’s anniversary. The next morning. I’ll come to you.” He paused. “Wear the black one from last time, dove. You looked so pretty for me.” The last part was said quieter than the others.

The rest of the conversation was lost to you. Your knees felt weak, and you slid down the wall, heart pounding in your ears, arms folding automatically around yourself. Dove.

Another woman.

A million thoughts raced through your mind, and you didn’t know how long you sat there, leaning against the door. For some reason, you felt like crying. Even though you weren’t supposed to love him, it still hit like a slap across the face. For a moment, you wished he would open the door and find you there, and know you’d heard enough to know what he’d done.

But he didn’t. You could hear papers shuffling around, and eventually you stood up, your thoughts still static, and ran quietly back up to your shared bedroom, suddenly not wanting him to know that you knew.

Shutting the door behind you, you scrambled to come to a conclusion. Why was he doing this? Were you not good enough? Didn’t you give him enough?

In this haze, seeing this as the only possible reason, you tore off your dressing gown, running to the closet and digging through a drawer until you found a pretty lacy little nightdress, one he’d gotten for you. In black, he said he wanted her in black.

You pulled it on, hurriedly going to the vanity and adjusting your appearance, smoothing your hair, making sure you were perfect. The black lace stood out against your porcelain skin, making your cheeks look rosy. Your hair was luscious and soft, neatly brushed out. You looked angelic, the picture of beauty.

Quickly, picked up a little bottle, spraying the perfume you knew he liked on your wrists and neck. Does he get her this scent too?

Hazily, you stepped out and went to a chair close to the bed and picked up one of your books just to give yourself some kind of distraction. Your mind raced, a thousand unhelpful thoughts piercing your soul. Maybe if I was prettier…I can be prettier…maybe if I smiled more…maybe if I’m pretty for him right now, he won’t go to her…maybe he’ll forget…

At last, Coriolanus opened the bedroom door, shutting it behind him. The white sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up, and you felt a little flutter at the sight, sitting up straight so he’d notice you…

He barely gave you a glance, going around to his side of the bed, pulling his tie off and tossing it on the chair beside his bed. He kicked his shoes off and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off, and it went the same way as the tie, as well as his pants. 

You stood up, putting your book down, and slowly got under the covers, letting the hem of your nightdress slide up your thigh. He pulled back the covers, getting in and resting his head back on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. You moved a little closer to him, one strap of your nightdress falling off your shoulder. Nothing.

Reaching over, closer to him, you ran your hand up his arm soothingly. When he’d had a tense day at work, this usually worked, but now he didn’t respond. You moved closer, running your hand up his chest. His eyes turned to you, but they were void of any emotion. Biting your lip, you tried a sweet little smile. 

Coriolanus’ hand moved to yours on his chest, and he moved it off, giving it a little pat. His hand went back to its spot on his stomach. “Not tonight, dove.” Your husband’s words were cold, final. Dove.

Another pang went through your chest, and you moved back a little, feeling like you were free falling. Hedoesntwantyou.

Your eyes filled with tears, and you bit your lip harder, not wanting to cry in front of him. You felt ridiculous, all dolled up in your little nightdress, thinking if you were prettier he would stop cheating.

Turning to the side, facing away from him, you stared at the wall, trying to pretend to be asleep. Not that he’d notice anyways.

You eventually closed your eyes, feeling like the loneliest person in the world, even though there was a man who supposedly cared about you lying there beside you. Knees tucked up toward your chest, covers around your hips, you tried to sleep, tried to act like you didn’t know what you knew. 

As you drifted off to sleep, you felt him turn over, a hand coming over your waist, pulling you closer. It took everything in you not to push it away. Why should he get to hold you? Why should he get to walk out of one woman’s arms into another’s?

The last thought you had before you fell asleep was about how warm his hand was, and how it felt wrong that it belonged to such a cold man.

[scarfwrites]

Fake Dating

❅Genre : Fluff  / Crack , Angst

❅Pairings: Iwaizumi x Reader 

                     Tsukishima x Reader

                     Kuroo x Reader 

❅Warnings: Angst, mentions of cheating but not the reader, vulgar language, a lotta crack cuz it's the seijoh 4, sexual because tumblr said so

❅Word Count: 10,395

❅A/N: OKAY THE IWAIZUMI ONE MIGHT BE VERY SELF INDULGENT BUT I CAN’T HELP IT I LOVE HIM

I also cried writing his 

Iwaizumi

“Make sure you don’t miss that spike! Y/N-chan’s watching~~” Oikawa teased as Iwaizumi looked over to you almost missing his spike making the third years laugh

“YOU ALMOST MISSED!” Makki teasingly yelled from across the court

“Aww, Iwa-chan I didn’t know you wanted to impress Y/N-chan that badly!” Oikawa laughed loudly but soon stopped once a very angry Iwaizumi glaring at him

“I swear I’ll fucking kill you if you do that again” Iwaizumi threatened making the setter gulp

“Luckily Iwaizumi won’t do that in front of Y/N” Kindaichi whispered to the other lower years

“Alright Let’s all take a water break!” Matsun yelled holding a bunch of water bottles

The whole team expected you to greet them with your usual lunches that you’d prepare for all of them. But instead, they were greeted with a very bummed-looking Y/N watching their phone.

“Looks like they didn’t see what happened earlier, lucky you” Makki teased as Iwaizumi looked at him with annoyance

“Yahoo Y/N-chan! I hope you have your lunches you pack they’re delicious!” Oikawa exclaimed happily getting zero response from you

“They look really distracted  with their phone” Yahaba pointed out as he drank from his water bottle

“Hello? Earth to Y/N!” Oikawa yelled waving a hand in front of your face

“Huh? Oh are you all done?” you asked as everyone gave you weird looks

“We’re having a water break” Matsun said sitting down

“Yeah and where are those lunches you usually pack” Oikawa asked as you looked through your bag

“Here they are” you spoke sadly as you gave Oikawa your packed lunch making everyone concerned

“Thanks! I was starving!” Oikawa said in relief as Iwaizumi smacked the back of his head

“Nevermind that,  is something wrong?” Iwaizumi asked sitting next to you

“Yeah where's that happy-go-lucky Y/N we all love” Makki said as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders

“Sorry, It’s just I’ve got a family gathering in a few days” you folded your arms laying your head on them

“That doesn’t sound that bad” Watari said confused

“No no you don’t get it” you sighed “Every year we have a big family gathering and I always get asked if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever” you continued

“Well, do you?” Oikawa asked curiously as he ate 

“No, and that's the problem” you sigh in frustration “If I show up there without one they’re gonna hook me up with some egotistical dunce face and if that doesn’t work out they’ll send another one” you scowled

“Yeesh sounds stupid” Matsun patted your back

“Yeah all because ‘I’m currently the only person in the family without a partner and they don’t want me to die like an old maid’” you mocked sarcastically

“Well, why don’t you hire a s/o? Can’t you rent a s/o here?” Oikawa suggested

“That’s too expensive I have nowhere near enough to rent one” you sighed

“Why don’t you follow Oikawa’s idea and get a fake one?” Makki 

“Yeah! Someone handsome and irresistible like me!” Oikawa smirked making everyone groan

“No they already know that I’d never date anyone like you” you chuckled at Oikawa’s pouty face

“Yeah you both wouldn’t be able to keep that up, he can’t even keep a real one” Makki mocked making the setter even poutier causing you all to laugh more

“Fine, what kinda boyfriend would convince them” Oikawa irritatedly asked

“Well definitely not someone as goofy as Makki” you thought out loud 

"I’ll take that as a compliment" Makki smiled

“I guess someone responsible, kind, and not a flirt?” You suggested as Oikawa grinned smugly

“Oh, I think I have the perfect guy!” Oikawa smirked victoriously

“Huh who?” You asked befuddled

“He’s sitting right beside you” Oikawa said mischievously as you looked at Iwaizumi 

“Oh yeah! Hajime fits their view of a perfect s/o” you smiled as Iwaizumi began to blush

“Yeah plus you’re both pretty close, it shouldn’t be that hard” Matsun gave a suggestive look to the blushing ace

“I-I mean I don’t really mind if you really want… or need one” Iwaizumi said nervously hiding his face

“Yeah! We’re close buddies which will make it so much easier and less awkward!” You jumped in joy

“Oh but we gotta make it convincing! Tomorrow let’s go out and do whatever the heck couples do!” You suggested

“And we can help with that” Makki interjected as Oikawa and Matsun nodded

“Alright, I’ll see you later then!” You happily ran out of the gym

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU THREE” Iwaizumi yelled furiously as the lower years hold him down

“Before you try to kill us at least you’ve basically got to experience what’s like to be with Y/N” Oikawa defended making Iwaizumi scoff

“I know you did that on purpose” Iwaizumi said angrily 

“Like our flat captain said at least you’re gonna go on a date with Y/N” Makki reaffirmed “And with the ideas I have in mind they’ll be head over heels for you” Makki smiled mischievously

After school Makki and Oikawa told you their ridiculous ideas which you mostly ignored. Thankfully the days before the party was the weekends so you both had enough time to make your fake relationship as real as possible. You both decided that the park and the mall would be the best places for fake dates.

“Did you listen to anything they said yesterday?” you asked looking at Iwaizumi

“No, all their ideas were stupid” Iwaizumi scoffed making you chuckle

“Well some of them were good, but after a while, it got stupider and stupider” you said while you both walked to the park

“What do you wanna do first?” He asked

“Well I was thinking we could have like a picnic here for lunch, then do whatever they suggested in the mall” you explained as he nodded

“Well we could start with taking pictures over there” Iwaizumi pointed to the cherry blossom tree which had leaves falling out

“Yeah! That’s a great idea!” You said excitedly as you ran towards the tree

Iwaizumi took pictures of you playing around with the petals that fell off the tree. He had to admit seeing you act like a child looked pretty cute.

“Hajime! You need to be in the pictures too y'know!” You called out as he walked towards you

“Right I forgot sorry” he chuckled “I couldn’t help it though, you looked like a child playing with the petals” he said making you blush

“I guess cherry blossoms make me feel like a child again” you both laughed

You then took a picture of you both laughing in the pile of petals you were both in 

“This is the perfect place for the picnic!” You said as you grabbed the picnic mat from your bag

“You seem pretty excited about all of this despite being all fake” Iwaizumi chuckled as he set the food on the mat

“It’s cuz I like hanging out with you” You smiled brightly as Iwaizumi blushed “I don’t spend as much time with you as I do with the others” you grab the sandwiches you made giving him one

“Yeah… I guess we don’t” he smiled quietly as he ate his sandwich

He hated to admit it but Oikawa and Makki were right. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to indulge the experience of dating you even if it is fake. His thoughts were interrupted as he saw you staring at him.

“Is there something on my face” he spoke as you blinked

“Yeah you’ve this on top of your head” you giggled as you take the flower of his head

“Why don’t you keep it” he suggested taking the flower from your hand as you tilt your head in confusion “You can keep it right up here” he placed the flower in your hair on top of your ear making you blush

“Oh! Like a memory to this day!” You smiled as he nodded

After your little picnic, you both went to the closest mall to do the other things they suggested and later have dinner. But first, you needed to do a little shopping.

“Y/N aren’t we supposed to take pictures to make this thing look real? Why are we shopping?” Iwaizumi gave a half confused half annoyed look

“We need matching outfits for the party! Or wait maybe opposite outfits- outfits! We need outfits for the party!” You explain as you look through the clothing store as he sighed

“I’m guessing this is a formal party?” Iwaizumi said as you threw more possible outfit choices on the cart

“Kinda? It’s always semi-casual and semi-formal but we still need something presentable!” you exclaimed as you put more possible outfits on the cart

“Before we go and look for more why don’t we try some on” Iwaizumi suggested as he emphasized the full cart

You both tried the countless outfits you chose. You have now just realized how many clothes you put in the cart. Luckily you and Iwaizumi could easily sort them since most of them were either too formal or too casual.

“It looks like you mindlessly threw a bunch of clothes in the cart” Iwaizumi said as he looked through the pile of clothes

“Sorry” you smiled nervously “This is the only time we have a gathering so it’s kinda important for my family” you explained as you look through more of the clothes

“You miss them too, right?” Iwaizumi asked as you nod

“Yeah of course! But that’s only after the millions of awkward questions they give me” you sighed

“I see…” Iwaizumi spoke softly

“I FOUND THE PERFECT ONE” you said holding the two pairs of clothes as Iwaizumi sighed in relief

After trying it out you both decided it was definitely the perfect outfit to wear at the gathering. You took the opportunity to take a picture of Iwaizumi carrying the bag since you thought it was very gentleman-like. After eating dinner you both decided to go home.

“Thanks for today Hajime” you smiled as you both walked  “I’m glad we got the day to spend more time together ignoring the reason why” you chuckled making Iwaizumi blush

“No problem it was fun” Iwaizumi smiled as you both walk by the ice cream store

“Oh! Can we go get ice cream” you said excitedly as he chuckled at your adorableness

“Sure my treat” Iwaizumi offered as you smile brightly in excitement

Before you enter the store you both see a little boy gazing at the store

“Mommy, can we go get an ice cream?” The little boy pulled his mother’s arm

“Maybe next time” his mother said making the child pout

“You always say that” the boy sniffed sadly making your heartache “I’m sorry we just can’t afford it” his mother explained as she wiped his tears

You see Iwaizumi walk over to the boy

“Hey little guy you really want an ice cream?” he asked to which the boy nodded

“Oh you don’t have to!” the mother looked at Iwaizumi in embarrassment

“It’s fine ma’am I insist” he smiled “Why don’t you go pick one in the store” Iwaizumi opened the door as the boy jumped in excitement yelling “Yay!” as he went in

“I can’t choose” the boy said as he went up to you “Excuse me miss can you help me?” the boy asked

“Sure! But there’s a lot of cool ones so even for me it's hard to choose” you put your hand on your chin “you could go with this one! Oh but this one’s also good” Iwaizumi chuckled at your indecisiveness

After helping the boy choose you walked out of the store to say goodbye

“What do you say to the kind man and his girlfriend/boyfriend?” The boy's mother asked making you both blush profusely

“Thank you!” The boy gave a toothy smile as you both smiled back

“No problem” Iwaizumi motioned a high-five to the boy as he excitedly did

“Goodbye!” The boy said as they both left

“You know that kid reminds me of you when we were in middle school” Iwaizumi smiled softly 

“Is that why you decided to give him a free ice cream” you teased making him blush

“N-no you used to whine all the time when you didn’t have the money to buy an ice cream until I gave you mine” Iwaizumi looked away in annoyance as you giggled

“I know, thank you for all your ice creams” you smiled

The next day you reviewed the possible questions your family might ask Iwaizumi. After a few more fake dates it was time for the gathering. You both wore the outfits you chose and hopped in an Uber to the family gathering. As you arrived a wave of nervousness hit you.

“Nervous?” Iwaizumi looked over to you as you nod making him chuckle “It’s okay I’m always here” he held your hand making you blush 

“I’m ready” you took a breath as Iwaizumi opens the door for you revealing  that you both were the last ones to arrive

CRAP! WE’RE LATE you nervously panic seeing everyone looking at the two of you but you begin to calm down once you feel him firmly holding your hand. You see your mom waving for your corresponding seats so you both walk over to the table.

“Y/N we were so worried you wouldn’t come” your mother said as she patted down to the two empty seats

“Oh, are we late?” You asked nervously

“No no, everyone just got here early, surprisingly” she said “You’re both right on time, take a seat!” Your mom pats the empty seat again

“Oh right sorry!” Iwaizumi moves the chair for you as you mouth a thank you to which he smiled in response

“What a gentleman” your brother teased sarcastically which you respond with a glare

“Haven’t I seen you before?” Your mother asked 

“I’m part of the volleyball team in the school Y/N goes to and we’ve been on local TV a few times” Iwaizumi explained

“A gentleman and he’s sporty! Didn’t think Y/N was capable of catching such a fish!”  your brother snickered as you roll your eyes

“Where’s dad?” you looked around

“He’s talking to some of our uncles over there” your sister pointed at the wine section

“Right, dad hasn’t even met your boyfriend he’s definitely gonna ask millions of questions” your brother mischievously smiled making Iwaizumi nervous “So while he’s gone why don’t we ask some first” your brother sneered as he put his hands on his chin

“If you don’t mind I’d love to see some pictures of you both together” your mother requested as you gave your phone

That’s why they wanted to do all those fake dates Iwaizumi thought as your mother looks through your phone

“Oh Y/N is this your boyfriend?” Your aunt said excitedly as she walked over to your mom looking through your camera roll

“You finally got a boyfriend? Looks like we were all wrong about you growing into an old maid” your cousin teased making your brother laugh

“Awww you both look so cute!” your aunt squealed making you both blush profusely

After you and Iwaizumi answered the millions of questions from everyone you saw your dad walk over to the table making you extremely nervous. As he sat down he looked over to you and your “boyfriend.” The awkwardness made your brother silently chuckle as you sent a harsh glare to him.

“We should go now” your aunt and cousins zoomed away

“Is this the guy you were talking about when you asked to prepare at your boyfriend’s house?” Your father asked sternly

“Y-Yeah” you replied nervously

“You’re the same age as Y/N? Same school as Y/N? Excellent grades? No school violations?” Your father berated Iwaizumi with questions 

“F/N you’re scaring them” your mother lightly scolded 

“You were the one who wanted them to get a s/o which I didn’t agree with” your father reminded as your mother sighed

“Correction everyone but you wanted Y/N to get a s/o” your brother interjected

“And? I won’t let them end up like you with your… flings” your father scowled in disgust as your brother rolled his eyes

“F/N he’s a genuinely great kid, honest, polite, kind, responsible, and all of that!” Your mother defended “As long as you put your faith in them our child is in good hands” your mother smiled to both of you which eased your nerves

“Alright…” your father huffed “I’ll trust the both of you” your father sighed as he ate making you sigh quietly in relief

After the party was over you were relieved from all that stress. It wasn’t so bad after your mom defended you but you won’t admit you were famished. You decided to personally thank your mom before you left

“Thanks, Mom” you smiled pulling her for a tight hug

“No need to thank me” your mom smiled back and gave Iwaizumi a nod of approval 

“Where’s my hug and thanks? I defended you too y’know” your brother crossed your arms

“Thanks too I guess” you hugged him 

“But we should get going, bye!” You waved as they did the same

“For a fake relationship your father sure made it feel like a real one” Iwaizumi chuckled as you both walk outside

Right, it’s all fake you thought to yourself making your heartache

“Sorry to make you go through all that you really didn’t have to” you spoke quietly

“Y/N you don’t need to worry I’d never hesitate in doing this again” Iwaizumi smiled weakly as your heart skipped a beat

“Why?” you asked frowning at the thought that he’d do anything for you even if it ended him in getting into conflict

“Because…” he stopped

“Because what?” You asked looking to him

“We’re friends” he smiled as you felt an intense wave of sorrow and hurt though you managed to smile back weakly

You turned around to walk away but you soon stopped at the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice

“I don’t want us to just be that” he continued making your eyes widen as your heart starts beating fast

“I did all this because I care about you a lot… more than a friend even” you turned around to see Iwaizumi starting to tear up

“I know it was all fake but I enjoyed every second… It may be selfish of me but… I don’t want it to end” Iwaizumi spoke his voice was shaky as he tried to hold his tears back 

“I love you Y/N… I don’t want to let you go” tears poured from Iwaizumi’s cheeks as you embraced him tightly shocking him 

“Don’t worry” you spoke softly “I don’t wanna let go either” he looked at you with shock as you gave him a sweet smile

“Can we continue it for real this time?” You asked as he placed a kiss on your forehead

“I’d love to” he smiled

Tsukishima

You've always been surrounded by your fans everywhere you went. School was no exception. During break, every student would try to sit with you and if there were partnerships or group projects you'd always be the first to be asked. You really didn't mind as you appreciated all the support and this was the price to pay when you made the biggest hits in Japan. The only thing you particularly minded was when you have over-the-top obsessed fans or stalkers. Luckily in public, you could easily avoid them however this one obsessed fan was unfortunately in your school. Still, it wouldn't be that hard with the mass amount of students at the school but unfortunately, you shared one class with this “fan”.

“Good morning class. Just like last semester I'm going to change your seating arrangement again” your teacher said as you start to worry

She then guides your classmates one by one to their seats as you were left last

“And Y/N over there” she pointed to the empty chair next to Yuta making you pale as white

“You've got to be kidding me” you panicked internally as you went to your seat and sat down

“Hey Y/N” he smiled innocently

“Hey…” you awkwardly smile back

“Looks like we'll be seat buddies” you swore you can hear the sly smile from his voice

“Yeah cool!” you smiled hoping he would drop the conversation

“Yeah! Especially since math isn't your strongest subject right?” He continued

“I can manage” you said with slight coldness in your voice

“Well if you need help I'm right next to you” he smiled finally ending the conversation between the both of you

You felt the life draining out of you during that class. Yuta kept trying to make conversation with you. You were sure he could take the hint and was just talking to you because he could. Luckily during break, you could easily get away from him.

“Hey Y/N over here!” Hinata waved excitedly as you went over to him

“Hey guys” you waved as you sat down

“Is something wrong you looked bummed out” Suga asked with concern

“Well y'know that fan in our school that constantly stalks me” you sighed playing with your food

“You mean your whole fan club” Tsuki rolled his eyes

“No not that one you glared the one that's like a whole different level of creepiness” you explained

“WHAT! THAT CREEP?!” Noya gasped in disgust

“Yeah, we're seatmates now woohoo!” You said sarcastically 

“Can't you ask your teacher to switch?” Asahi asked

“Unfortunately no he's very reputable in the school they're not gonna believe me” you laid your face on the table 

“It's okay Y/N you can get through this!” Hinata encouraged

“Thank you” you hugged him as he returns the hug

“It's a shame math is the only subject none of us share with you” Yamaguchi said sadly

“And it's the only subject they share with him” Kageyama lightly scoffed making you even more bummed out

“I'll get through this!” You tried encouraging yourself

“Stop lying to yourself it makes you more pathetic than you already are” Tsukishima rolled his eyes as you sent a glare

“Looks like it’s gonna be another glare war” Asahi chuckled

“This is gonna be a long day” Daichi sighed in annoyance

After a few more peaceful classes it was time to go home. You thought you would have a peaceful walk home but you were very wrong. As you went to the gate you saw a putrid familiar face waiting for you by the gate.

“Hey Y/N!” Yuta waved as you tried walking past him only for him to walk right next to you

“Hey… Do you need something?” You asked quickly getting annoyed

“I was thinking why don’t we walk home together” he suggested slyly smiling

“It’s okay I’m comfortable going myself” you smiled fakely wanting to punch the grin on his face

“Are you sure? You’re pretty big around here and you won’t be safe getting chased by a mob of fans” he asked with concern as he walked in front of you

Do I even have a choice at this point you thought

“It’s really okay I-” you tried explaining getting quickly interrupted by a hand on your shoulder

“If you’re so concerned about her wellbeing I’ll go with her” Tsukishima nonchalantly said

“Oh! Tsukishima!” You gasped in surprise

“I don’t know, I've only seen you two fighting all the time… Are you sure you aren’t just gonna laugh while they get chased” Yuta narrowed his eyes

“You flatter me” Tsukishima faked a chuckle “Are you giving them a choice to walk with you or are you forcing them to go with you” Tsukishima glared intensely 

“No no, it’s not like that! It’s Y/N’s choice after all” Yuta smiled looking at you as you felt his aura of anger seeth around him

“Thank you for the offer but… We have stuff to do” Yuta gives you a look of confusion as you look at Tsukishima for an excuse as he rolled his eyes

“You’ve already forgotten our homework? Typical Y/N” Tsukishima scoffed in annoyance as you try to hide the urge to smack him

“Yeah! And we're doing it at his house” you smiled innocently

“Alright then stay safe…” Yuta walked away as you sigh in relief

“Jeez, can't you take care of anything yourself? Just say no” Tsukishima crossed his arms

“You said it yourself earlier he wasn’t giving me a choice” you glared harshly as he rolled his eyes

“Whatever” he scoffed “Let’s go before that idiot comes back” he said walking ahead

“Huh? You’re walking me home” you look at him with a very confused face

“Yeah you dumbass we actually have homework” he face palmed as you scoff

“Would it kill you to be nicer” you crossed your arms as you walked

“I’m sorry did I hurt the princess’ feelings?” Tsukishima smiled sarcastically as you glared

“Maybe walking with him would be much better than you” you quietly said

“Huh? Did the pipsqueak say something?” He teased

“I said nothing!” You scowled grumpily

“That’s what I thought” Tsukishima smugly smiled as you both walk outside the school gates

“Thanks again, I mean it” you smiled softly which made Tsukishima blush slightly

“Yeah whatever” he shrugs off as you both walk home

The next day as you arrive at school you are greeted with a tight hug by Hinata while Kageyama chases after him.

“Hi Y/N!” Hinata looked up to you excitedly

“You seem pretty excited” you smiled back

“I’m always excited for volleyball!” Hinata jumped in joy

“HEY! DON’T RUN OFF LIKE THAT!” Kageyama said breathlessly

“I heard from Yamaguchi that you walked home with Tsukishima! What’s up with that?” Hinata asked you curiously ignoring the other fellow

“Oh it’s because Yuta was offering to walk home with me… Actually forcing me is a better term” you sighed

“That guy never knows when to quit!” Hinata pouted making you aww at his adorableness

“At Least Tsukishima was there” Hinata sighed in annoyance

“Yeah… he was good company” you smiled 

“You should file a restraining order on that guy” Kageyama suggested

“I think that’s a bit too much” you chuckled awkwardly

“What are you gonna do about him he doesn’t sound like he’s gonna stop” Kageyama crossed his arms worriedly 

“I’ll go after him and beat him up!” Hinata exclaimed getting into a fighting position making you smile

“Thank you Hinata but I’m sure there’s another way to resolve this without any violence or getting the authorities involved” you ruffled his hair as Hinata put his hand on his chin

“I guess you’re gonna have to deal with that until you figure out a solution” Kageyama sighed

“I’VE GOT AN IDEA!” Hinata thought out loud 

“No” Tsukishima stated coldly

“Come on! It’s the only solution!” Hinata pouted angrily

“Out of everyone you think of, you pick me? Even the thought of pretending to be with her repulses me” Tsukishima scoffed

“You sure picked a nasty one” you rolled your eyes

“Exactly! He’s grumpy, nasty, and intimidating! It will definitely scare off all the creeps!” Hinata triumphantly said hoping you’d both be convinced

“I mean if it will keep him away…” you looked at Tsukishima

“The final answer is no. If you excuse me I have to get to class” Tsukishima walked away annoyed as you sighed

“Wait! We share a class!” Hinata ran as he caught up with Tsukishima

“Don’t think I know what you’re doing” Tsukishima glared at the shorter fellow

“Doing what?” Hinata asked innocently

“I don’t like her end of story” Tsukishima scowled as he walked faster

“You sure do care too much even if you say you don’t” Hinata murmured as Tsukishima glared 

“This conversation is done” Tsukishima seethed coldly

“I’m just saying who knows maybe if you both pretend to be together, maybe they’ll end up liking you back” Hinata suggested making a small smug grin as Tsukishima stops

You’ve finally reached the class you’ve been dreading to go to. As soon as you go in lo and behold he’s already there waiting, even patting the seat right next to him as if he saved it just for you. You took a deep breath before heading to your seat.

“You look troubled, something on your mind?” He asked 

You wish he would just stop being so hyper-friendly with you and shut up 

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just tired” you faked a yawn 

“Oh right! You must be exhausted from touring!” He chuckled at his idiocy making you sour

You, fortunately, got through the period and survived all his countless stupid questions. You rush quickly to get out but as you leave the door you get pulled by a familiar glasses wearer.

“Hey! Ever heard of a greeting!” You yell in annoyance as he continued to grab your hand ignoring whatever you said

“You’ll thank me later songbird” you frown at the nickname as Tsukishima drags you to a more secluded area

“What in the world do you want this time?” you asked in irritation as he lets go of your hand

“Is that guy still bothering you?” He asked ignoring your question

“Yuta? Yeah, wouldn’t stop berating me with questions” you rolled your eyes remembering the thought

“I’ll agree to that idiot’s plan” Tsukishima  crossed his arms coldly

“Huh, which plan?” You questioned innocently 

“For someone who has high grades you sure are stupid and forgetful” he smirked sarcastically as you glare  “The fake dating thing idiot” He scoffed

“Really? Thank you!” You hug him tightly as he blushes madly “I don't think I could take his stalking anymore!” You tightened your hug even more as he tried pushing you away

“Maybe ask before you hug me?” Tsukishima grimaced as you let go

“Oh sorry!” You scratched the back of your neck blushing

Later that day others offered to help you make the plan as real as possible. A lot of arguing mostly between you and Tsukishima refusing to do “things that normal couples do”. 

“Please complimenting her every minute is the last thing I’d do” Tsukishima scoffed

“Yeah that’s really cheesy” you rolled your eyes

“You guys said you wanted to trick him! You're gonna have to make cheesy sacrifices” Tanaka crossed his arms as the two of you sigh in annoyance

“The final step is kissing!” Hinata said excitedly

“NO!” You both yelled in unison

“Awww c’mon! If you both don’t wanna do anything we mention kissing would be more than enough” Hinata soured

“Don’t you think for fake dating that’s a bit too much” you reasoned out

“Y/N’s right kissing is overstepping it” Suga agreed as Hinata pouted and crossed his arms

“Then you’re gonna have to do everything else we’ve mentioned!” Noya smiled as you both sighed

The very next day you decided to take your plan into action

“When you both walk into school, hold hands!” Noya instructed as you sulk

“GO! GO! GO!” Noya shouted pushing the both of you into the school gates

Tsukishima nervously puts his hand on yours. His face goes beet red from getting to hold your hand.

“Your hand feels nice…” you smiled sweetly as his blush grows 

“W-what the hell do you mean by that?” Tsukishima asked nervously

“Oh, I thought it would be salty and sour” you giggled as scoffed “But it’s soft… I like it” you smiled softly 

“Your hand feels nice too… I guess” Tsukishima complimented

“Looks like we got the hand holding and complimenting down” you punch a fist in the air and smile, an action that Tsukishima couldn’t help but find cute

Your excitement comes to a close as you realize everyone in the hallway was watching you surprised at the both of you holding hands and having a normal conversation instead of arguing every five minutes

“Right! I forgot everyone in school’s gonna talk about this” you gulp in nervousness

“Not just the school, the whole of Japan” Tsukishima stated nonchalantly making you more nervous

“I’m sorry you're probably gonna get dragged around by the media after this” you said quietly playing with your hands

“Don’t worry it’ll be fine unlike you I can tell them to fuck off” Tsukishima smirked sarcastically as you pout

“That’s because you're a certified jerkwad” you cross your arms 

“Well you’re gonna have to deal with it pipsqueak” he said as the smugness in his tone increasing

“Let’s just get to our first class!” You scowled as you both walk into your first class

You did everything the others instructed you to. You were sure Yuta saw what you both did since he never leaves you alone at school. The gossip between you two was the only thing the school would talk about. Your next class was the dreaded Math class. You were nervous as you didn’t know what to expect when you sat next to Yuta. Taking a deep breath you went in and sat next to him. 

As expected he didn't talk to you for most of the period which made you worry. Usually, he’d annoy you to death berating you with questions, trying to get on your good side in hopes of having a chance with you. Your thoughts were interrupted when your classmate behind you asked a question

“Heya Y/N! Got a question” the girl asked as you turned around

Sure ask away you responded

“Is it true you’re dating Tsukishima? I was so sure you hated him” she chuckled as you felt the anger seething out of Yuta

“Yeah doesn’t he treat you like garbage?” Yuta interjected coldly 

“Well he may be an annoying asshole but I kinda like that about him” you explain as the tint on your cheeks grows red “I guess he’s not good with showing how he really feels but… I know for sure he cares” you continue “Ohhh! I get it! You’re that kinda gal!” she lightly punched your arm as you giggled

“Yeah I guess so…” you murmured as you felt Yuta’s boiling anger but you chose to ignore it

The whole Math class felt like a breath of fresh air. You didn’t care if you just felt anger from your seatmate. You were finally free now from his stupid questions. After your class finishes you happily walked to lunch and sat next to your usual lunch buddies

“Someone’s in a really good mood” Yamaguchi smiled 

“Yuta left me alone the whole class!” You exclaimed in triumph as everyone sighs in relief

“See! Our plan was foolproof!” Tanaka and Noya said proudly in unison

“Yeah, if it hadn't I would’ve beaten you both to a pulp” Tsukishima scowled

“Alright Mr. Salty Pants you need to calm down” you patted his shoulder as he rolled his eyes

“Don’t call me that pipsqueak” Tsukishima brushed your hand off

“Giving each other nicknames? Are you sure you guys are still fake?” Hinata whispered mischievously as you both blush

“I’ll just return to my food” you brushed Hinata off and started eating as Tsukishima quietly did the same

“At least they aren’t arguing anymore” Daichi sighed in relief

As soon as school finishes you wait at the gate for Tsukishima to be done practicing. You take a long sigh of relief. Besides dealing with the media and school your “stalker” would finally leave you alone. Or so you thought.

"Y/N!" you hear a voice call out as you turned to face them only to be surprised by an angry Yuta walking towards you

"Yuta? I thought you’d be home" by now you spoke innocently as his anger grows

"Cut the innocent bullshit! I know you both aren’t a thing" Yuta yelled coldly as he grabbed you

"Huh? What’re you talking about?" you chuckled nervously trying to push him away

"It was all to make me leave you alone right? C’mon, you really think I was that stupid?" He snickered loudly as you begin to tear up in fear

“Aww don’t cry you’ve got your “boyfriend” to save you- Oh wait he’s not really your boyfriend” he continued to laugh though he soon stopped as you heard the sound of a blow to his face

“Don’t touch someone who’s off limits” Tsukishima scowled angrily as you rushed to hug him tightly

“Don’t make me laugh I know it isn’t real” Yuta said as he got up

“You’re just whiny because unlike you I got their attention” Tsukishima smirked smugly as he received a blow from Yuta

“Tsuki!” You rushed towards his aid as he brushes you off

“Don’t worry I’ve been wanting to kick his ass for a while” Tsukishima said as he got ready to punch him again

“Stop! You’re only gonna get hurt!” You cried out as Yuta slowly approaches the both of you only for a familiar tangerine to drop kick Yuta onto the ground

“I’ve waited forever to do that!” Hinata smiled victoriously as Yuta gets up and runs away

“YEAH RUN YOU COWARD” Hinata yelled 

“Where did you learn to do that?” You asked as he chuckled

“I’ve been practicing with Noya!” Hinata smiled as you ruffle his hair

“You should take Tsukishima to the nursing office. I'll head back and tell the others!” Hinata quickly said as he ran off

“You haven’t finished practice?” you look towards Tsukishima

“Yeah I needed to get something then I found you with him” Tsukishima explained

“Let’s just get you the nurse’s office” you said worriedly as you helped walk him to the nurse’s office

Luckily for the both of you the nurse’s office was empty which saved you both an explanation and or potential punishment. You ushered him to sit down as you grabbed the necessary items to treat his lip. 

“I’m sorry” you mumbled quietly as soon as you finished treating his lip

“What for?” Tsukishima asked holding the ice pack on his lip

“For all of this the fake dating and dragging you into this” you look down as the guilt builds up

“You really don’t have to apologize for that after all I agreed to do this” Tsukishima placed his hand on yours to comfort you

“But you ended up getting hurt because of me” you began to tear up

“It doesn’t matter if I get hurt” he wiped the tears from your cheeks “I would protect you no matter what, whether we're together for real or fake because… I care about you…” he confided pulling you into a tight embrace

“Thank you” hugged him back tightly “y'know… we don't have to keep calling it fake” you smiled 

“What do you-” he gave you a puzzled look as you interrupted hin

“We could do it for real if you want” you blushed shyly

“Yeah… I wouldn't mind that” he smiled

Kuroo

You were in the middle of doing your homework when Bokuto dragged you to come with him to his li’l hangout session in the park with Kuroo.

“Why did I have to come again?” you asked slightly annoyed

“Because Akaashi didn’t want to come” Bokuto frowned, “He said he was busy or something” Bokuto childishly crossed his arms

“Well couldn’t you go there alone? I was in the middle of doing my homework” you pouted

“C’mon! Don’t you wanna spend time with your favorite big brother and his friend!” He tried convincing you with his sad frown

“You’re my only big brother” you narrowed your eyes as his face brightens up

“So you agree?” he smiled triumphantly as you sighed in amusement. You did need a little break anyways

“Well then you’re gonna have to convince Akaashi to help me with my homework as a thank you” you tried to compromise as he nodded his head excitedly

“YEAH! WE GET TO HANG OUT AGAIN!” Bokuto hugged you tightly making you smile at his adorableness

“Alright you goof we don’t wanna keep Kuroo waiting” you patted his back making him release the hug as you both turned to leave

“THERE’S AN ICE CREAM TRUCK OVER THERE!” Bokuto yelled excitedly pointing at the ice cream truck at the front of the park

“LET’S GO!” He dragged you with him running a thousand miles per hour

You both ran to the ice cream shop, terrifying the people on the way and the worker from how fast Bokuto ran. You both bought ice cream for yourselves and Kuroo (which you paid for).

“You owe me two favors now” you warned as Bokuto continued eating his ice cream

“Thank you!” He smiled adorably making you sigh

“Don’t think your adorableness is getting you out of what you owe me” you glared

“Where’s Kuroobro” Bokuto looked around for his black-haired friend but to no avail

“Did he say he was already here?” you asked as Bokuto nodded

“If he doesn’t show up do I owe you an extra favor” Bokuto spoke timidly as you nodded making him gulp

Ironically right after he said that Kuroo appeared out of nowhere looking like he just killed someone

“KUROOBRO!” Bokuto yelled putting his hands on the air in excitement as Kuroo shushes him

“Not the time right now!” Kuroo whispered loudly as you and Bokuto look at each other tilt your head in confusion

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto whispered quietly as Kuroo dragged you both somewhere private near the tree area

“Will you just tell us what’s happening you whispered angrily” as he sighed

“While I was walking around waiting for you guys I met my ex near a bench” Kuroo explained 

“Yeah and?” Bokuto asked naively as you elbowed his arm making him mutter an “ow!”

“Don’t you remember what happened Bo? You were the one who told me all this” you narrowed one eye as he looked at you dazed

“I kinda forgot about her” Bokuto shrugged as you and Kuroo both sigh

“Well my forgetful owl friend she’s still not over me and thinks we still have a chance even if i clearly showed that there is no chance whatsoever” Kuroo frowned 

“Has she been following you since?” You asked as he nodded frustratedly sighing in the process “Yeesh” you patted his back

“Well if you don’t wanna see her we can just stay here I mean we’re all here anyways Bokuto sat down in the grass Ice cream?” Bokuto offered the ice cream you bought for Kuroo as he sat down “Let’s figure something out tomorrow” you offered as he smiled “You both owe me one afterall” you smirked eating your ice cream as Kuroo looks at you with confusion

“What?” Kuroo looked at Bokuto as he gave him an awkward smile

The next day Kuroo couldn’t practice properly thinking about what happened yesterday. It wasn’t long till his team noticed his change in behavior.

“Hey Kuroo, is there something wrong you're acting very off today” Inuoka asked 

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong” Kuroo brushed off as he went to grab the ball

“Something is clearly wrong you aren’t playing properly” Yaku reprimanded as Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Nothing to be concerned about! Let’s get going!” Kuroo insisted

“For the last hour you haven’t practiced properly” Yaku glared “So tell us what’s wrong. Now” Yaku crossed his arms as Kuroo sighed deeply in response going over to the benches before he sat down

“When I went outside to hangout with Bokuto and Y/N, I met my ex” Kuroo explained quietly shocking everyone “Long story short, she’s not over me” Kuroo frowned

“Knowing her I wouldn’t be surprised if she enrolled here just to see you” Kenma spoke nonchalantly making Kuroo sweat

“That would be awkward especially if you have to share a class” Yamamoto added as Yaku elbowed him

“Let’s hope either of that doesn’t happen” Yaku sighed 

“She’d be near impossible to get away from then” Inuoka said worriedly 

“I would die if I saw her attending my games” Kuroo spoke deflated putting his hands on his head

“Let’s try to devise a plan after school we’ll have more time” Yaku suggested as he stood up “For now, you don’t have to force yourself to play in that kind of state” Yaku said empathetically

The whole practice Kuroo was moping around much to the dismay of his teammates. He thought the day wouldn’t get any worse until it was time for him to go home.

“Looks like I got through that pretty fine” Kuroo exclaimed proudly

“If acting mopey the whole practice was fine I don’t even want to know what would happen if you actually meet her” Yaku sighed

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen” Inuoka said worriedly

“Don’t worry I just have to make it to my house! She’s not gonna appear anytime soon” Kuroo walked towards the gate but was stopped by Kenma pulling him

“Huh? What was that for–” Kuroo gave Kenma a confused look but his face immediately froze when Kenma pointed in front of him

“I think you jinxed yourself” Lev gulped sheepishly

“Did she actually enroll here?” Yamamoto gasped quietly as Kuroo’s ex walks over to them

“CRAP SHE’S COMING” they all panic internally 

“Hey…” his ex said meekly making everyone sweat nervously

“What… what are you doing here” Kuroo slightly grimaced

“Oh i just… wanted to see how you were doing” she mumbled smiling awkwardly which slightly angered the team’s captain

“Didn’t I make it clear at the park already” Kuroo slightly snapped though remained composed as everyone looked at him

“Yeah! But…” she gets cut off by Kuroo’s sigh

“It’s over alright? Just leave me alone” Kuroo growing angry he quickly walked out of the gate while everyone followed him

During the walk home it was pure dead silence accompanied by the angry aura that radiated Kuroo. No one dared to ask if he was okay in fear of further pissing off the captain. The next day Kuroo along with Kenma went to the lockers before heading to class.

“Hey Kuroo sorry for not being to help you during that whole ordeal yesterday” Kenma apologized as he opened his locker

“Eh don’t worry about it” Kuroo shook his hand vertically “It’s not your fault she’s can’t take no for an answer” Kuroo sighed in annoyance as he opened his locker

The two boys then saw a letter inside the locker making them both groan

“You thinkin what I’m thinkin?” Kuroo gave a look of irritation getting a nod from Kenma as a response as he opened it

The letter contained a cringeworthy, half-assed apology going on and on and had endless paragraphs that the two boys didn’t even bother to read

“I’m not reading this shit” Kuroo crumpled the paper and threw it at a nearby trash can

“Looks like she really won’t leave you alone” Kenma stated nonchalantly making Kuroo sigh

“Yeah I need to break it to her delusional self fast” Kuroo huffed throwing his hands on his head in frustration

“Yeah you better get on that quickly” Kenma shook Kuroo’s shoulder and pointed into his classroom “Looks like she’s your new classmate” Kuroo’s eyes widened 

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Kuroo whined loudly

“Well good luck” Kenma waved goodbye as Kuroo nervously went inside the classroom

During the whole class Kuroo’s ex tried everything to try and talk to him. Even with Kuroo’s clear signs of rejecting her advances she still persisted. The whole ordeal lasted the whole class until he was finally able to get out to which he proceeded to go quickly to the gym.

“GUYS I NEED IDEAS NOW!” Kuroo yelled as he slammed the door open

“Yeah we heard from Kenma that you now share a class with her” Yaku sighed worriedly

“YEAH ON MY FAVORITE CLASS? THE ONLY ONE I’D ATTEND INSTEAD OF PRACTICING!” Kuroo moped and messed his hair in frustration

“Well you’re in luck!” A familiar booming voice was heard outside of the gym

“BOKUTO IS HERE TO SAVE HIS BRO!” Bokuto yelled excitedly as his other team went into the gym

“THANK YOU BRO” Kuroo went to the fellow ace and hugged him as his whole team sighed

“We’ll do that after our practice match” Akaashi reminded slightly deflating the both of them

After the two teams' practice match they decided to devise a plan once they headed to the bench. Kuroo took the time explaining what happened during his class.

“That girl is borderline obsessed with you” you gave a very creeped out face 

“I know right! No matter how many times you say no or make it clear to her stupid brain she doesn't get it!” Kuroo's words seethed anger

“You could expel her from the school!” Bokuto suggested proudly

“That'd only solve his problem in school but not everywhere else” Akaashi stated making Bokuto sigh in defeat

“Why don’t you get a s/o? She’ll probably leave you alone if she sees you with someone else” Kenma nonchalantly suggested as he played on his console

“That’s a great idea!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“You still need to find someone who’s nice enough to help your sorry self” Yaku sassed as Kuroo responded with a harsh glare

“Y/N can do it!” Bokuto pointed as Kuroo blushed

“Huh? Why me?” you made a grossed out face

“Cuz he’s my best friend! And he needs saving!” Bokuto reasoned 

“That doesn’t answer my question” you crossed your arms

“Well… you're my sibling and you should help your big brother!” Bokuto responded as you narrowed your eyes

“I don’t think I have the time to have a relationship right now” you said making your brother frown

“It probably doesn’t have to be real” Kai put his hand on his chin “if you just make it believable enough to fool her that could work” your brother nodded to his statement 

“Please” he looked at you cutely “Can you did it for your big brother and his helpless best friend” he continued as Kuroo scowled

“I can’t say no to that face” you sigh in defeat as Bokuto jumps up

“Another victory for Bokuto Kotaro!” Bokuto jumped around excitedly

“Y/N would work after all Kuroo does–” Kenma said before his mouth was covered by Kuroo

“Because you're also my friend, yeah!” Kuroo awkwardly smiled as you looked at him weirdly

“Let's start tomorrow then so we can get this done” you spoke to which Kuroo nodded

“Looks like your dream come true with my sibling is coming true” Bokuto whispered teasingly smiling as Kuroo shushed him 

The next day after you finished school you headed to Kuroo’s school and waited outside the gate together with your brother.

“Bo you didn't have to come all the way here I can take care of myself” you said while you watched the students pass by

“Yeah but who would third wheel your date” Bokuto smiled mischievously It will make it more authentic he added

“You’re a really great friend to Kuroo” you smile which Bokuto returned with a big toothy one

“Heya guys!” Kuroo yelled from a distance as he ran over to the both of you “Shall we make Operation Get Rid Of My Ex a go?” Kuroo smirked as Bokuto nodded excitedly

‘This is gonna be so chaotic’ you thought

“Let’s go!” Bokuto grabbed all of you and you three were off

You went to a cozy cafe in Tokyo with a few people coming in and out

“Y’know for someone so obsessed with you it’s weird how she isn’t here yet” you spoke as you drank your coffee 

“What if she doesn’t come! That would make everything a waste!” Bokuto pouted “Well except the food” he said in annoyance as he ate his croissant 

“There’s no way she wouldn't know I was talking about it pretty loudly during lunch” Kuroo explained whilst he ate

“Well she’s here now” you pointed at the open door where Kuroo’s ex sneakily walked in with other customers

“Get into position!” Kuroo whispered as you all did as planned

“Is she watching?” Bokuto nudged Kuroo

“Yeah!” Kuroo replied

You and Kuroo did whatever couples did during dates whilst Bokuto made your stereotypical third wheel make an awkward date. Luckily you were able to play it naturally as you were already pretty close with Kuroo. You couldn’t deny that you found it cute how hard Kuroo was trying. He was very easy going and made sure to ask for your consent before doing something.

“I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back” you stood up and left leaving the two boys

“I think you’re taking this way too seriously” Kuroo chuckled

“Not as seriously as you seriously enjoying this” Bokuto retorted making Kuroo blushed

“Listen when you decided to set us up you knew what you were doing” Kuroo fought back

“Well yeah! It’s a bros job to get him with the girl of his dreams” Bokuto laughed smugly

“Now you just sound dramatic” Kuroo rolled his eyes

“Maybe but you can’t deny you're enjoying this” Bokuto smirked

“Alright you got me there” Kuroo raised his hands as you came back

“Is the plan working?” you asked quietly 

“Judging from how creepily she’s been keeping a close eye on us, yeah!” Kuroo smiled victoriously

“We just gonna continue from here then” you said

Kuroo’s ex followed you all everywhere keeping a close tab on you and Kuroo especially which made you very uncomfortable. The three of you both finished every activity you had planned for the day so you all opted to go home. 

“Is she still following us?” Bokuto asked quietly

“Yeah I can feel her eyes on my back” Kuroo replied

“Still? She's so creepy man” Bokuto's face turned to disgust

“I feel bad that you had to go through this for the past few days” you patted Kuroo's back as he sighed

“Yeah it's like I get no privacy anywhere besides my house, everywhere I go she's there too”” Kuroo crossed his arms and pouted “Well I guess it’s more enjoyable cuz your here” Kuroo looked at you and smiled making your heart thump

“T-thanks” you said still dazed from what he said

“Hey! What about me!” Bokuto pouted which Kuroo laughed in response

“Of course you too bro!” Kuroo chuckled turning Bokuto’s frown upside down

“We’ll see tomorrow what she thinks” you said as you all reached Kuroo’s house

“Thanks again today was fun” you smiled making Kuroo slightly blush

“Yeah! My pleasure” Kuroo smiled back

The next day Kuroo went through the whole day without his ex bothering him which made him suspicious. But when he did see her in chemistry class she seemed quiet and was distancing herself from him which Kuroo couldn’t help but feel the intense wave of victory. You saw the joyous captain when he walked to you and Bokuto at the gate.

“Someone looks very happy today” you smiled as Kuroo greeted both of you

“She kept her distance the whole day! I say progress!” Kuroo almost squealed in excitement

“All in a day's work of The Best Ace Bokuto!” Bokuto smiled proudly

“Yeah that’s great!” you flashed a thumbs up

“We just need to seal the deal” Kuroo put his finger on his chin before his face lit up “Prom’s this weekend which I think is the perfect opportunity to do it” Kuroo explained “Can I go too! I wanna eat all the food!” Bokuto jumped in excitement which made you chuckle

“Yeah we can all go!” Kuroo  gave a toothy smile

A few days before prom you were in the mall with Akaashi and Bokuto deciding which of the dresses you should buy

“Should I go for this one or this one?” you said holding two dresses

“We’ve been here for like… HOURS!” Bokuto complained as he fell back on the chair

“And? It’s a formal event that needs the proper attire! I need to look my best!” You defended hearing another complain from Bokuto

“Why do you care so much you didn’t care that much last prom!” Bokuto crossed his arms

“Is it because of Kuroo?” Akaashi asked innocently yet you felt there was more intention in his tone

“W’what? N-no?” You blushed hardly surprised from Akaashi’s question

“Looks like I hit a bullseye” Akaashi nonchalantly said

“You like Kuroo?” Bokuto stood up and looked at you

“No! I don’t! It’s just I wanna look my best to make it look real y'know!” You kept trying to defend yourself though Akaashi could see right through you

“You wanna look your best for Kuroo you mean” Akaashi teased to which you glare

“I never thought you’d like my bro!” Bokuto smiled excitedly

“Well, until now” Akaashi smirked which made you blush even more

“Just pick one I’m done with this conversion!” You pointed daggers at the two boys which made Bokuto snicker

It was the day of the prom and Kuroo was very nervous. Though it was only to get rid of his ex he felt that he’d actually taken you to prom and though he didn’t want to admit it but he really wanted to see what you’d look like in your prom dress.

“You look a little too excited” Yaku teased 

“Well yeah! I’m actually going to prom with them!” Kuroo blushed “It still makes me sad though that all this is fake” Kuroo frowned his face darkened

“Well I guess you have to make the most of it right?” Kenma interjected hoping to cheer his best friend up

“You’re right” Kuroo smiled 

“She’s here now!” Lev exclaimed making Kuroo shift back to nervousness

The door opened with Bokuto in a neat tux with a surprisingly formal hairstyle different from his spiked up hair but beside him was you in an elegant outfit also with a formal hairstyle

“Amazed? You should be! I picked it for them just for my best bro!” Bokuto bragged proudly

“You only picked it so we’d get out of the store” you chuckled as Bokuto shot a quick shush

“That doesn’t change the fact that you look pretty elegant” Kuroo scratched the back of his neck in shyness the team were smiling right next to him

“Well let's leave you both to it” Yaku grabbed the others giving the two alone space

“Well? Let’s get started” you smiled excitedly as you dragged Kuroo to the dance floor 

You both couldn’t deny the fun you both had dancing and partying. You had to admit that this was the most fun you had with Kuroo. You felt saddened that after all this your “relationship” was going to end. Though you made sure you made the most out of the time you had left.

“I’m going to the restroom can you get me some more punch when I get back” you asked as Kuroo nodded

“Anything for you m’lady” Kuroo teased as you lightly slapped his shoulder

“Alright you big goof I’ll be off” you chuckled as you went to the bathroom

As Kuroo went to the area with he punch he noticed his ex walking towards him as he got some punch for the both of you making him sigh in annoyance

“What do you want” Kuroo said coldly “Don’t think I didn’t see you follow me a few days ago with my date” he glared putting emphasis on date

“I know but I just want you to give me one chance… just one” she pleaded

“Isn’t what you’ve seen already enough for you to leave me alone” Kuroo snapped

“You don’t have to pretend to be with someone just because you don’t wanna give me a chance” she said making Kuroo laugh

“I think you need to get your brain checked sweetheart you’re acting very cuckoo” Kuroo sneered

“We both know that date was one sided” she scowled taking him back “It’s sad that they pitied you that much that they’d agree to go to prom with you” she continued as Kuroo growed in anger 

“And what? My feelings for them are real! So shove that chance you think you have in your ass!” Kuroo snapped slamming the table next to him “After all it's only good for pleasing other guys isn’t it” Kuroo glared intensely shocking his ex 

“You–” She tried to speak out though she was interrupted by Kuroo

“Whether it’s real or not, they care more about me more than you ever have!” Kuroo scowled the argument grew more heated

“You know you don’t and won’t ever have a chance” she gritted her teeth

“Even so I’d rather chase someone who cares about me even only platonically then a cheating whore” Kuroo clenched his fist“Even if we’ll be stuck as friends forever I’ll live with that I’ll even push those feelings back” Kuroo tried holding his tears back as some began to fall

“Fine let it be that way” she said “Just know you’re pathetic especially for your feelings for them” she walked away leaving Kuroo alone

Unbeknownst to Kuroo you heard everything he said about you. You felt your heart rapidly thumping from everything he professed about you even more so at the thought that he felt those feelings for you and was willing to push them back for you just so you’d both stay as friends. As you were dazed however you noticed Kuroo looking at you.

“I… How long were you watching?” Kuroo sniffed 

“Enough to hear the whole thing” you replied back quietly

“I see…” he looked down trying to wipe the tears

You felt the tension between the both of you grow bigger and bigger you had to say something

“Did you mean all the things you said to her?” You asked 

“Yeah every single one” Kuroo nodded

“Even the part where you’d accept us just being friends” you played with your fingers

“Listen Y/N nothing’s gonna change I promise we can still be best friends and–” Kuroo stopped as he felt your soft lips press against his

“You don’t need to accept us just being friends, I want it to be more” you smiled brightly as he blushed

“Yeah I’d love that!” He spoke as he pulled you for another kiss though you both stopped as soon as you heard a loud YEAH!

“MY PLAN WORKED!” Bokuto let out a very mischievous laughter followed by Yaku punching his elbow

“You ruined their moment!” Yaku scolded

“Sorry I can’t help it!” Bokuto rubbed his elbow 

“Well I’ll have to thank my best bro!” Kuroo cheered “I’M THE BEST BROTHER AND BRO IN THE WORLD” Bokuto yelled in joy with the biggest toothy smile

“Yeah you really are” you smiled brightly

[chrollohearttags]

𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖞’𝖘 𝕺𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

“….𝖜𝖊’𝖗𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖆𝖉 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊..”

“𝖏𝖔𝖎𝖓 𝖚𝖘 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖊…”

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𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨, 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤, 𝙚𝙩𝙘…

click below ⬇️

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• starting off by saying that this is only my 2nd year doing this and my first year doing it on tumblr so please be patient with me.

• Also, I am making an ✨attempt ✨ to do all 31 days but no promises as I’ll be doing other things this month for Halloween/cosplay but please feel free to DM/inbox me any requests that you have and I’ll be happy to try and squeeze them in.

• Once the month is done, I’ll put them all in my masterlist so you can back and binge read if you’d like.

• this will be multifandom and feature characters from AOT, JJK, HunterxHunter, One Piece, Jojo’s, Haikyuu and many more!..if there’s a show you’d like me to write for, feel free to request. I’ll let you know if I’ve watched/write for it.

• all works featured in this will be modern AU’s. No canon stuff.

• understand that not every kink will be for you. As always, there will be warnings at the top of each story..take heed to said warnings and use them at your discretion. If you feel a specific kink/fetish is too much, then I suggest you skip that day and I’ll see you in another one. We’re all grown (I would hope) so you can decide for yourself. Please do not comment anything childish, hateful or derogatory towards my work because it will be automatic block. Kinktober is a time to explore things I’d normally not write about but even so, it may not be your cup of tea. Don’t report or try get something slapped with a label because YOU don’t like it. Simple.

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[writing this as of 9/10/2023, naturally this is subject to change but here are the plans so far for the upcoming works you can expect:]

stranger than fiction (sfw stories + interactive fics)

Beyond Fact or Fiction: an anthology series comprised of drabbles and fics based off of real events….or are they? That’ll be for you to decide. (multifandom)

Are You Scared of Me Yet?: they are your average, hardworking family. Working on their farm by day…body snatching by night?! The young couple finds themselves in quite a predicament when one of them is bitten a strange creature while outside and becomes undead! Now with an appetite for more than cookies and cakes, they must try to feed their desires for human flesh, all while keeping this dirty little secret from those around them! (cowboy reiner x baker black reader) (nsfw version available in Kinktober list)

Sacrilegious: music’s much more fun with a little contreversy and that’s a fact that EJ the Don knows all too well. No stranger to dark imagery and occult themes in his songs, the rapper decides to get a bit creative and raise the bar for his next video. With Halloween around the corner, his wife + beloved influencer, (y/n), who’s notorious for her out of this world costumes every year decides to join him on the fun by being his co-star. And what better way to debut the new track and visuals than at the Jaeger’s infamous Halloween Bash?! But along with insane reception from the fans and friends alike, they may have invited some unwanted attention…from both the living and dead! How will the it couple deal with this situation? (musician eren x influencer au) (nsfw version available in kinktober list)

undertaker: chrollo lucifer has always been the town outcast. Dubbed a weirdo, troublemaker and the person you’d want to avoid at all costs. Mainly due in part to his love of heavy metal, cigarettes and all things occult. Too bad for everyone else, he didn’t care to clear up his reputation..that was until the mayor’s daughter goes missing and he gets accused of being involved!..with no one on his side, the lonely Chrollo feels as if he has nowhere to turn. However, he ends up meeting someone who may be able to help him out of his bind…the local botanica owner with an equally terrible reputation! With a race against the clock and their backs against the wall, the unlikely duo team up in a whodunnit like you’ve never seen!

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Kinktober 2023 (NSFW Stories)

(these may be changed at a later time and characters are TBA but here are some of the kinks you can look forward to.)

office sex, pegging, free use, knife play, age gap (legal ofc), foot worship, size kink

pregnancy/lactation kink, gun play, sensory deprivation, anal, food play, pet play, CNC

BDSM/Shibari, fem dom, breeding, roleplay, corruption kink

impact play, exhibitionism, nipple play, spit kink, facefucking, car sex, orgy

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FLUFF/CRACKTOBER (feel good + funny fics)

• through the pumpkin patch: cowboy!reiner x reader

• first time for everything: scholar!armin x scholar!reader

• pick up the phone • doordasher!eren (ft. doordasher!connie) x reader

puuurfect fit! • choso kamo x plus size reader

trick or treat • ryomen sukuna x reader

carve me like one of your french girls • nanami kento x artist!reader

my dress up darling • seamster!mitsuya x cosplayer!reader

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taglist will be available. Let me know if you want to be added!

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all works are intellectual property of chrollohearttags. I do not own any characters mentioned except OC’s or reader descriptions. Please do not repost, steal or copy my fics. It’s not cute :(

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@greenieweeniesworld @spaceforher @anubisisthebomb @crazychaoticizzy @makaylasierra789 @momobaby227 @certified-stargirl @thickbihhwitdagapp @kameko-ko @valentineluvu @mukurosbracup @prettypink-princesss @bleach-your-panties

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 26, Unsurprising - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mild sexual situations, frustrations.

Word Count: 1.7k

Previously On...: Bucky suggests you call in sick to the Wiggle Room.

A/N: Pocket makes a play...

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You weren’t sure which one of you suggested watching a movie to cap off your evening, but there you were, sitting on opposite ends of the sofa as the flickering light of the television danced across your faces in the darkness. If someone had asked you what you were watching, you honestly couldn't have told them. Your eyes kept flickering to Bucky’s profile as he chuckled at whatever was happening on screen. 

He was so pretty, you found yourself thinking. How could you have forgotten how pretty he was? You tried to ignore him, you really did, but he was like a magnet, drawing your gaze to him against your will. You felt a familiar warmth begin to pool between your legs just from the sight of him. You wanted him. God, you wanted him so much. You’d spent the last two months trying to forget him, but now, he was right here, just feet away.

Licking your lips, you made an executive decision, knowing full well it was probably not your best one (but still better than the drugs, you rationalized to yourself), and began crawling over to him. He turned to look at you, an unspoken question across his face.

“Hi,” you breathed, so close to him now you could almost taste the memory of his skin on your tongue.

“Hello,” he smiled as he turned to face you better. “What’s up, Pocket?”

“I miss you.” You leaned in and took his earlobe between your teeth, suckling it gently into your mouth. You were rewarded when his entire body shivered and he sucked in a shaky breath. He didn’t move to push you away, so you slowly crawled your body into his lap, placing soft, open-mouthed kisses along his jaw and the corner of his mouth.

Everything about this felt so absolutely right as you ground your hips against him, the familiar, thick length of him pressing against your core as if it had been molded to fit there. Bucky groaned as your lips reached for him, but it was as if the sound he elicited had woken him from a trance. He gripped your hips, gently but firmly, and put space between your bodies.

“This is a bad idea,” he said, eyes closed as if even looking at you would destroy his resolve. 

His words may as well have been bullets, the way they dug into your stomach. He was rejecting you? After everything? “You don’t want me?” your voice came out small, a weak plea that would have shamed you at any other time, but in this moment, encapsulated the insecurity you felt in his denial. 

Bucky pressed his forehead to yours, eyes still closed. “I always want you, sweets. It’s never a question of that. Never.”

“Then what is it?” you asked, growing more desperate. You brought your hands up to cup his face, urging him to open his eyes, to look at you, connect with you in the way you two used to do so well.

“You just lost a baby,” he breathed. “Didn’t you read any of your discharge paperwork? You’ve gotta wait until the doctor gives you the clear before you can have sex again.”

You rolled your eyes. If that was all he was worried about… “I don’t need your dick in me for you to make me feel good, Buck,” you whined. “Just like you know I can make you cum without ever using my cunt.” As if to prove your point, you snaked a hand down his body and began to palm him through the material of his jeans. 

His hand shot down and grabbed you by the wrist, holding it still and keeping you from working him. “Stop,” he pleaded, sounding like he was the one who risked being in pain from fucking, instead of you.

“You’d rather I use my dirty mouth?” you asked with a smirk, beginning to maneuver yourself to your knees, but Bucky had grabbed your other wrist before you could get very far, locking you into place, and keeping you from touching him. “No,” he panted, obviously worked up.

“Then, what?” you asked, growing frustrated. 

“I… I can’t be intimate with you right now,” he confessed, as though it pained him to do so. “Even if you were healed up enough for me to fuck you properly, I… wouldn’t do it.”

You shifted your weight back putting more distance between your bodies. The confusion you originally felt as his confession quickly morphed into the shameful anger of embarrassment as you registered his use of the word ‘wouldn’t.’ Not an inability, but a choice. 

“It’s just sex, Barnes,” you spat, not being able to keep the hurt from your voice. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“That’s just it, Pocket,” he said, searching your eyes with his own. “I’m not going to have meaningless sex with you.”

You pulled yourself off his lap, yanking your wrists from his hands. Your shame was burning across your face, and you were grateful for the cover of night to hide the rising color of your cheeks. “So, you’re fine having meaningless sex with her,” you snapped, unable to say Jade’s name even after all the time that had passed, “but not with me? God, forget I asked; I see your priorities haven’t fucking changed.” You moved to storm out of the living room, to hide in your bed behind closed doors, but Bucky sprung up from the couch and, in an instant, was standing in front of you, blocking your exit with his immovable frame.

“Hey!” Bucky barked, the force of the one word startling you. “Don’t do that! Don’t run from me, not again!” He ran both hands desperately through his hair. “I’m not going to have meaningless sex with you, because if I do, it won’t be meaningless! Not to me.” The last three words were softer, more vulnerable, a confession he was afraid you would take as a weakness. 

“I told you I was greedy, sweetheart,” he said to you, pulling you close to him as he began to nuzzle your neck. The feel of him, so close to you, yet so far away, was making your knees weak, and you clung to him for support. “But I’m not going to have you if I can’t have all of you, not anymore, not when I know what it’s like to be loved by you. I can’t do that to myself. And I’m not going to do that to you.”

“Bucky,” you moaned as his hands roamed the surface of your body, seeking any ounce of uncovered flesh he could get his hands on. His touch was soft, light enough to never be satisfying, always leaving you craving more.

“I love you, doll,” he said, kissing your skin, “and if you can tell me you forgive me, that you still love me, wanna be with me again,” he sucked and nibbled on your neck, the sensation of his mouth on your pulsepoint almost sending you over the edge on its own, “then I’ll give you anything you fucking want. But if you can’t, if you’re not ready yet, or you don’t think you’ll ever be,” he let go, pulling away from you and leaving you longing for him, “then I’m not going to torture myself with something I can’t have, or put you in a position where you end up regretting what we did.”

He watched you, expectantly, waiting for you to say something, to give him an answer that would either bring you back to each other once and for all, or close and lock the door between you both for good, but you had nothing for him. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered.

Bucky’s face shuttered, the passion so recently evident in his eyes vanishing into their depths. He nodded once. “Let me know when you make up your mind, doll,” he said, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head before retreating to the solitude of his room, the sound of the door shutting behind you echoing through the apartment with its finality.

You managed to hold your tears until you were back in your room, sobbing into your pillow in the weak hope his super soldier hearing wouldn’t be able to pick up on the sound through the apartment’s thin walls. You let yourself weep, wondering how many more times Bucky Barnes was going to be the reason for your tears.

But you couldn’t blame him this time, your stupid logical reasoning told you. This one was on you. He’d been honest with what he wanted, what he needed, but you hadn’t been willing, or able, to give him what he’d asked for in return. He hadn’t been willing to take from you unless he knew for certain you were sure. 

The dinging of your phone caught your attention, and your heart leapt with joy when you saw a notification indicating new texts from Nat. Technically, you weren’t supposed to have contact with residents of the Tower while you were undercover, but you were willing to put that aside in the surge of happiness that rushed through you at the thought of talking to your friend.

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: So

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Don’t freak 

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: But I have news

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: About Carthage

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: When she saw Barnes left

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: To go to you in AC

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: She fucking *flipped*

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Screaming and crying 

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: That her life was over

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: And she was gonna die

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Destroyed her room

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Punched Steve in the face

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Which was funny

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: But not the point

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Hello?

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Do you ever look at your phone?

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Are you fucking Barnes rn?

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: This is serious tea

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: And you’re leaving me on ‘delivered’

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: It’s offensive

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Anyway

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: She’s gone

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Packed her shit

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: No clue where she went

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Vanished into the night

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: She’s gone AWOL

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Thought you’d want to know

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: And one more thing

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: It’s big

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Fucking huge

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: But your not answering

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: I’m not telling

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: So

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Suck it xoxo

Natsassin🖤🩰🔪: Call me

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[anothermansjeans]

Read Your Mind

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

a/n: hello babes! i had originally posted this on patreon but wanted to share it with tumblr as well (ik i said it’d take like 2 weeks but here she is)! i’ll be writing the smut scenes to this fic and those will be patreon exclusives so if you wanna become a member it’s in my bio :)

wc: 1.1k

cw: implied sex, dry humping mention ?? i think that’s it!

inspiration: read your mind by sabrina carpenter

++

To say Y/N was frustrated would be an understatement. The constant mixed signals she has received from Aaron would make whiplash seem less painful, and she wasn’t being over dramatic.

When she first developed what was once a small crush— and is now almost what she thought was love— for her boss, she wouldn’t have ever thought he’d have even an ounce of any sort of romantic feelings for her, but after a drunken night out with the team and coming to the realization that they lived not even two buildings away from one another, confessions and heavy petting were exchanged. The next morning after mutual hungover groans were exchanged throughout the bullpen, Hotch called her into his office and made it very clear that lines were crossed… but also stated he had enjoyed himself. The confusion had begun there. Knowing he wasn’t typically one for physical contact, the feeling of him placing his hand onto her hand that rested on top of his desk sent a shock through her system. She enjoyed it, she really enjoyed it, but within thirty seconds of that contact he had also said how he needed her to get back to her desk— he needed to be alone to work.

Y/N brushed it off after that. Nothing was going to happen— Aaron liked what they did, but clearly didn’t want to pursue anything. That was understandable, and it would’ve stayed understandable if he kept up with the professionalism. Lack of said professionalism happened during a case in New York. Everyone had to share a room with someone except for one, and when it came down to pairing off Emily and JJ went off with each other, Derek and Spencer assumed they’d be the second pair, and Rossi claimed the solo room for himself. That left Y/N and Hotch with each other. It was very awkward for the first hour, but they slowly warmed up to each other again.

If anyone told Y/N that she would be having sex with Aaron that night she would’ve laughed in their face, and if anyone told her that they’d wake up in each other’s arms and bask in the warmth, she would’ve sent them to a mental institution. But it happened. After one too many glances they inevitably gave in, and that morning was a lot less awkward than the morning after their drunken dry humping.

But the cycle with Hotch continued after that. They’d share secret kisses, he’d tell her very sternly to get to work. They would spend the night with each other, he’d say they shouldn’t see each other for a while just to call her in the next night or two. At this point, she figured he was lonely but didn’t want to commit. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could play this game with him, and she would continue to mull it over in the early hours at the office before anyone else was there, stirring her coffee in the kitchenette until she felt a strong pair of hands touch her waist.

“I miss you.”

His voice was raspy, like he woke up not too long ago and just came in. She knew his statement was referring to the small break in seeing each other he had suggested, and the thought of it made her upset, causing her to place her coffee on the counter and turn around, crossing her arms.

“I can’t read your mind.” Her statement caused him to lift an eyebrow, forcing her to elaborate. “I’m a profiler, and for the love of God I cannot read what the hell is going on in your mind. You say that we need to stop and then you call me whenever you deem it’s a good time. You know we’re crossing a line here, make that very clear, but still see me in a romantic setting. I can't read your mind.”

His hands had dropped from her waist, and he took a step back. “There’s nothing to read here, Y/N. I thought we were together.”

She scoffed, causing him to wince, “then why the fuss, Aaron? Why are you saying things but doing the opposite? Why the mixed signals?” She waited a minute, staring back at him, waiting for him to say something, but when he didn’t, she grabbed her coffee and started to take off.

“Wait.” He hooked his hand around her elbow, causing her to turn back to him. “You’re right. I’ve screwed up. I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time— I don’t typically date, but Y/N, I’m not lying when I say that there is no one else I would want to be experiencing this with. I was actually hoping that you’re it for me.”

A small part of her wanted to laugh in his face. After countless days trying to read what the hell was going on in his mind, this wasn’t even on the forefront of the mental list she compiled. The biggest part of her wanted to believe him. She really did, but she had nothing to go on. “I need you to prove it, Aaron. I feel like I’m clueless here and I just—”

He swiftly cut her off by tugging her towards him and smashing their lips together. This kiss was a lot different than the secret or drunken ones they’ve shared. It felt like the real deal for Y/N, and she could’ve stayed there forever if it wasn’t for the small crash as well as the exclaimed “oh!” they heard.

Breaking apart, they turned their heads to see a very frazzled Penelope standing there with her hands in a surrendering position, lips in an “oh” shape, and a broken mug on the floor. No one spoke immediately, but once everyone was fully aware of the situation at hand, Penelope went down to the floor and started scooping up the broken pieces. “I am so sorry sir… and Y/N! I’m uh— I‘ll just—”

“It’s okay, Garcia,” Hotch’s voice was gruff, “I’ll clean it up. Just get ready for the briefing.”

She had slowly gotten up and wiped her hands across her dress. “Yes, sir,” she spoke quietly, but once she turned around and scurried away Y/N could hear a quiet “I am so telling Derek I was right.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward afterwards as they both pitched in to clean the broken glass. Their slightly heated faces and hidden smiles were enough for them to both understand what the other was thinking— this thing between them was real, and they had to practice avoiding the rest of the team for anything other than case related things.

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Nineteen

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Cuss words and a weeeee bit of angst, no Jasper tonight - but I promise I’ll make it up to y’all!

Notes: Tomorrow afternoon I’ll try to sort out the bugs with my taglist, tonight I just want to get this posted for y’all to enjoy because I had a stupid long day and Tumblr is wanting to test me for some reason.

Word Count: 2058

Series Masterlist

• January 27, 2006 • Forks HS, WA•

Reader

Bella was noticeably absent from school yesterday and there’s a rumor floating around that she had made a trip to the ER Sunday afternoon. I had texted her yesterday to check on her as soon as I heard the whispers, but I received nothing but radio silence on her end.

I was in the middle of typing her another message as I headed in the direction of my final class of the day when a hand at my shoulder stopped me.

Snapping my head up, my eyes were immediately drawn to the neat row of stitches in Bella’s hairline.

“Holy shit, what-?” I gape, worry for my best friend taking hold of me.

“I um, lost control of one of the dirt bikes, hit a rock and it got me pretty good.” She sheepishly glanced at the floor while explaining herself quietly.

“I heard yesterday you had a trip to the ER on Sunday, I was worried sick about you!” My free hand gripping one of her biceps as I lightly berated her for not texting me back.

Her eyes met mine and something in them shifted, like she didn’t expect me to be so invested in her wellbeing.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” I suggest and tug her towards the exit to the student parking lot, “We’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Aren’t you girls supposed to be in school?” Cora, the sweet hearted waitress at Carver’s Cafe, teases us as she sets down our shakes in front of us on the bar.

“It’s just one of those days.” I give her a half smile, stabbing my milkshake with a straw.

She nods understandingly, glancing at Bella’s injured forehead before moving on to other customers.

“Mike invited me to the movies.” She blurts as she scoops off the whipped cream into a discarded dish between us, neither one of us liking the topping.

A gasp slips out before I could reign in my surprise and Bella immediately shushes me.

“It’s not like I want to go with him!” She whisper-yells defensively.

“Well, what did you tell him?” I lean forward to press her for more details.

“I said yes, but!” She holds up a finger to delay my response, “I want it to be a group thing. I can’t deal with this potentially turning into some kind of date.”

“So you want me to come to be the awkward hand-holding buffer?” I smile to myself as I stir my melting drink.

“I’m asking Jake to come too and probably some of the others from school, I just have to find a weekend when everyone is free.”

“Oh thank god!” Her look of shock causes me to elaborate, “I’m not sure I could handle thwarting his advances towards you on my own, that’s a tall order for a wingwoman against Mike Newton on a mission, Bells.”

She groans and slumps back in her seat, “This is the worst, why couldn’t I have just said no?”

“Because you’re a nice person and even slightly hurting someone’s feelings is the worst thing you could do. I get it, I would’ve done the same thing.” Sighing, I slump down in my seat too.

“It sucks being a girl sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?” My head lolls in her direction as I ask her sarcastically and we both let out a giggle.

As soon as I walk in the door from my girl-date with Bella, I shoot a text to Quil:

Hey, you down for going to the movies? Bella is getting some friends together to go at some point in the near future, Jake will probably be there too.

A ping chirps from my phone before I even set my backpack down:

Absolutely, just let me know when and where Y/n/n.

I smile to myself - happy to get him out and hanging with other people, Quil has been struggling recently with Embry dropping off the map to spend time with Sam Uley. Somehow Sam is managing to dig his claws into the young guys of the tribe one by one, there also seems to be a gag order in place to not talk to anyone since Embry is ghosting us.

I just hope Jake and Quil aren’t next, I don’t think I could handle more people abandoning me.

• February 20th, 2006 • Port Angeles, WA •

Reader

This group-movie-thing has got to be the newest and worst idea Isabella Swan has ever had.

Somehow in the shuffle under the dim lighting in the theater, Jake pushed his way between Bella and I, causing Mike to snatch up the other available seat next to her before I could even think of switching sides.

Huffing, I settle for sitting in between Jake and Quil, nervously meeting Bella’s panicked eyes as the opening ads begin playing.

I lean over and bump Quil with my shoulder, “Boys are mindless beasts.” I jokingly whisper.

“And girls never shut the fuck up in movies.” He whispers right back without missing a beat, devouring the bucket of popcorn while his eyes stay glued to the silver screen.

I turn my upper body to face him with a look of shock, this fucker-

But Jacob shushes us before we could get into it. I let out an exasperated sigh and cross my arms as I settle in for the movie, fucking boys.

Ya know, last time I went to the movies I told Bella I would choose the next one.

Well, as my luck would have it, the boys beat us three to two on what to watch. Which means I’ve been left to suffer through gory after gory scene in this stupid action movie.

Cringing behind my hands as I squint, legs tucked up to my chest, Mike suddenly announces, “Okay-I think I’mgoingtothrowup.” And bolts from his chair for the exit, all of us turning to watch him run.

Bella turns to look at me questioningly and I gesture to follow him, all of us rising to leave.

“What a marshmallow.” Jake jokes as soon as we exit the theater and I try to stifle my laughter at the accuracy as we watch Mike dive for the bathroom door. “You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.”

“Yeah - I’ll keep my eye open for that.” Bella laughs, like actually laughs and it makes my heart a little happier to hear the sound from her again.

“I feel bad, he probably has that flu that’s-going around.” Bella’s voice trails off as I watch Jacob slide his hand into hers, but she drops it and twists around at the bottom of the stairs while we wait for Mike.

“What, I can’t hold your hand?” Jake’s offended tone immediately sets alarm bells off in my head and I turn to Quil, my eyes staring a hole in his chest.

“Of course you can, I just think it means something a little different.” I can hear Bella backpedaling to avoid hurting his feelings and it makes me cringe so hard I tune out their words.

Obviously this conversation needs to happen between them, but the urge to step in and come to her rescue fights my rational thought.

“Hey, let’s give them some space.” Quil whispers to me, steering me to the other side of the bathroom. Mike’s sounds of vomiting echoing as we pass and it makes me wince, poor dude can’t catch a break.

“But-” I look over my shoulder to check on my friend and see nothing but Jake’s tense back.

“I can see her from here and she’s fine.” Quil’s eyes never move from Bella, I can tell he feels the same way about their conversation.

“I knew this would happen sooner or later, but right now?” I speculate out loud.

“Jake’s always had the best fucking timing.”

“Really?” I ask questioningly.

“Of course not, dumbass - it was sarcasm.”

I punch his shoulder and he recoils from me at the same time a haggard-looking Mike Newton emerges from the men’s bathroom.

“Well, I need to go home.” The marshmallow announces, interrupting whatever was happening between Jacob and Bella on the stairs. “I-I was feeling sick before the movie. What is your problem?”

Quil hurriedly pushes me towards them, somehow already sensing a shift in the conversation.

“You, you’re my problem. Feeling sick? Maybe you need to go to the hospital. Want me to put you in the hospital?”

Quil surges past me to play mediator at the same time Bella grabs Jacob’s wrist.

“Jake! Jake-Jake, the movie is over, what are you doing?” I standby uselessly and watch as Bella tries to calm him down.

“Hey man-” Quil lays a hand on his chest to get his attention, but it fails.

“You’re really hot… You feel like you have a fever, are you okay?” I watch as Bella’s hands move along his arm, concern flooding her voice and moving her hands.

“I don’t know what’s happening. I gotta go.” Abruptly Jacob rushes for the exit, leaving the four of us dumbfounded in the corridor.

“Dude is weird.” Mike quips, but we ignore him, worried about our friend.

The car ride home with Quil was… Awkward. Jake blowing up on Mike ended the night on a sour note, but his behavior had my mind racing.

It’s so obvious he’s in love with Bella and I’m worried I might eventually find myself in her same shoes. I chew on my lip nervously as I tap my fingers on the steering wheel, too fast for it to be with the beat of whatever is playing on the radio.

Quil leans over to shut the music off, “Alright, what’s wrong?”

At first I’m not really sure what to tell him, the anxiety of having the conversation I know we need to have is eating me alive.

“I’m worried about Jake.”

“Jake will be fine-”

“No, I know that. I’m just worried about what’s going on with him.” My hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“I’m not following, Y/n/n.” His eyebrows bunch together as he turns his face to study me.

“He’s in love with her.” I glance at him for a second before turning back to the road. “And-and I’m worried that we-”

“Pull over, please.” He asks gently and immediately I begin to panic internally.

Slowing to a stop on the shoulder of the deserted road back to Forks, Quil reaches up to turn on the car cabin light before turning to face me fully, “Y/n.”

Slowly I let go of the steering wheel and face him, worried about what he could possibly unleash on me.

“You’re my best friend, plain and simple. Jake and Bella are not us, I don’t have feelings for you like he does for her.” A puff of air blows through my lips as I deflate in relief, but he grabs my hands and continues. “You’re my sister for all intents and purposes, you don’t need to worry about that.”

My breaths are a bit shaky as I come down from the anxiety high, “I just don’t want you to think I’m close to you because I’m looking for something…” I look down at our joined hands and squeeze his. “After him, I just can’t.”

Tears begin to make my vision swim, it hurts every fiber of my being just thinking about potentially wanting someone else.

“I don’t know what happened with Hale,” my breath hitches at the name, “I don’t need the details about that whole situation, but I’m not here to replace him. I don’t want to, I just want a best friend that won’t leave me.”

“That’s all I want too, I can’t take anyone else leaving.”

Quil leans over the center console to pull me into a hug and my body relaxes.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers before letting go and leaning back into his seat.

Putting the car back into drive and continuing to the reservation to drop him off, a little sliver of dread worms its way into the cracks of my heart.

Everyone that says they aren’t going anywhere eventually goes somewhere, it’s like jinxing yourself with hard odds to beat - impossible.

Next

Teaser

Taglist Part 1:

@aoi-targaryen @Min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @Blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea @foolsgoldxo @heartfilia01 @azuredgalaxies @geekysimmerthings @graciereads @ramen-girl-2424 @0hmydekiru @creeqvealley @cherriebat @whichwitchisthebitch @dragon-rider-with-a-book @secretfairytailpetscookie @psychobitchsthings

Sorry it took so long to fix!

[starrylothcat]

Sparks

Hunter x Fem!Jedi Reader One-Shot

Summary: You and Hunter realize your long-hidden feelings for one another. Warnings: Wee bit of angst, kissing/making out, slight suggestiveness. This is my first fic! Excuse any formatting or grammatical errors...I haven't stretched my writing fingers in a long time. I also have no idea how Tumblr formatting works, haha. I needed some fluff after that finale. This one got away from me...3,000 words. Please leave your thoughts and enjoy!

@wanderer-six tagged as requested! :)

The bonfire was now huge, burning fast and bright, much to Wrecker and Omega’s delight. Sparks flew in to the clear night air, illuminating the figures sitting around it. 

Clone Force 99 and you had just finished a tiring mission and were taking the night to decompress on a desolate, forested planet. The bonfire was actually your idea, a memory you had stored deep in your subconscious from when you were a very young Jedi Padawan. After a tough training or difficult mission, your Master would often start a fire while you meditated and reflected. The heat and cackling from the flames helped calm you, oddly enough. It was something that you continued to do, even as a Jedi General during the war. It was something that burned bright in the darkness. Something that you were all now desperate for in this new Imperial galaxy.  

You didn’t speak much of your past as a Jedi at first. It was too painful, too fresh. But as you spent more time with Clone Force 99, you became more comfortable sharing small snippets on occasion, much to the excitement of Omega who hung on to every word. Echo would also sometimes add his own stories from his old squad, which would then inspire Wrecker to tell stories (sometimes embellished ones) of their missions, reminiscing on battles won. It was nice to connect again, to have those who understood you, as you were now all outcasts. Chewed up by the war and tossed to the side, now struggling to find your place in the galaxy.

Somewhat recently after Order 66, they rescued you from bounty hunters who had suspicions you were a Jedi. You tried to keep it a secret, but Hunter found you out with his heightened senses. You warily came clean to them, telling them the truth. 

You were only supposed to stay with them for a short time, only until you found a new place to hide. Hunter was wary with having a Jedi on board, especially since they already had a target on their back. But a short time turned longer. You were helpful on missions and were careful to never expose yourself as a Jedi. Omega became particularly attached to you, and Hunter saw how much Omega was benefiting from a woman on board. You also became close with them, especially Hunter. You both connected over the baggage of being a leader, and what it meant to fail as one as well. Other feelings began to blossom, that neither you or Hunter knew how to act on, or even if you should. You found yourself talking to him late in to the night, discussing next mission plans or plans from the past. But you both always left those conversations wishing you had said more. 

Tech had just carefully landed the ship on the empty, forested planet in the only clearing he could find. It was Hunter's idea to do inventory, seeing when you would need to do a supply run next. You casually mentioned the bonfire memory as you were all rummaging through gear and supplies, as this planet reminded you of that distant memory.

Omega’s eyes widened and asked, “Can we do that tonight? That sounds fun!” while looking excitedly between you and Hunter, who was sitting down and cleaning his knife. He chuckled, a low chuckle that made butterflies swirl in your stomach. Something you’ve realized has been happening more often. But you pushed that thought aside, for now. 

“Sure, kid. This planet is empty enough. I don’t think it will attract too much attention.” Tech adjusted his goggles and looked up from his datapad. “I do not see any settlements on this planet. There is no current need for worry.” He said before becoming absorbed once more in his research.

Wrecker, with much glee, shot up from begrudgingly organizing his gear, and announced, “Fire, I like this idea! This is boring anyway. Let’s take a break and go gather some wood!” He turned to look at Hunter for approval, who shrugged and nodded. “Omega, let’s go!” Wrecker hurriedly threw the rest of his unorganized gear on his bunk. Omega grinned, also happy to get away from inventory, and began after Wrecker down the ramp of the Marauder. She stopped at the top of the ramp and looked back. “Thank you!” She beamed at both you and Hunter, and skittered after Wrecker. 

Hunter had put his knife away and was now leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, gazing at you. You felt your heart beat quicken when you matched his stare.  “You’ve done it now.” He teased as he watched Wrecker and Omega run toward the tree line. You shrugged with a small smile as you stood up from putting the last piece of equipment back in your gear pack. “Well, I have to admit, I need a break too. Let’s just hope they don’t burn the whole planet down.”

Hunter released a low chuckle again and you felt heat rise up your neck. “With Wrecker involved, I’m not too sure.” Echo quipped from the pilot seat, where he was researching where they could get supplies before the next mission. “Given the current wind speeds and our distance from the trees, it would be difficult to start a blaze that big.” Tech called from under a piece of machinery he was now working on. “But I have to agree with Echo. With Wrecker involved, statistically the odds are higher.”

You gave a small laugh, which made Hunter’s heart involuntarily quicken. It was your laugh that he often thought of deep in the night, when he was having trouble sleeping. The way your shoulders moved when you chuckled, the way your eyes glinted when you smiled. How sometimes he’d find himself almost getting out of his bunk to wake you up and take you in his arms, telling you how he feels as his lips meet yours….

A sudden crash snapped him out of his thoughts, setting his senses haywire. You heard the sound too, and you looked at each other and ran down the ramp to see what the commotion was, hands on your blasters. Hunter breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Wrecker standing with Omega at the tree line, who were both excitedly picking up branches from a dead tree Wrecker had just knocked over. Hunter ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t help but always be on high alert, especially with Omega. He could see relief in your eyes as well, once you realized it was nothing to be concerned about. You lightly touched his arm, asking “You okay?” “Yeah…” he breathed. “I’m not used to…calm.” You nodded, understanding.

“I guess we better enjoy it while it lasts.”

Your lips ghosted a smile, realizing you were still touching Hunter’s arm. You moved your hand, suddenly embarrassed. Hunter opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Echo coming down the ramp to see what the commotion was. He also needed a break, and was interested in this fire idea. “Yeah, you’ve really done it now, _____.” Echo teased as you all looked at the growing pile of logs and branches that Omega and Wrecker had collected. “Hey, don’t just stand there, come and help us!” Wrecker called as he balanced more giant branches in his arms. You gave Hunter a look and continued down the ramp to help.

The sun was getting low, and Wrecker was adding the last log to a massive pile he and Omega collected. You were collecting small sticks and brush for kindling. Wrecker put down the last one, wiping sweat from his face. “Phew! Do you think this is enough?” He huffed. “If you are trying to light a fire big enough for the entire Galaxy to see, then yes.” Tech said casually as he came down the ship’s ramp, also now having his interest piqued. “Oh, it’ll be a massive fire, I can’t wait!” Wrecker exclaimed as he winked at Omega. 

“So now what? I’ve never made a fire before. Hunter, can you teach me?” Omega asked, looking up at Hunter with large, pleading eyes. Hunter looked at her softly. “Yeah, sure kid.” He glanced at you and then put his hand on Omega’s shoulder, leading her toward the log pile. 

As Hunter and Omega began to make a space for the fire, you and Echo were maneuvering some of the bigger logs for everyone to have a seat once the fire was going. Since this planet was desolate, you used the Force to move some of the larger logs. Hunter noticed out of the corner of his eye, always secretly impressed with your graceful power. It was rare when you used it, and it captivated him. 

“What’s next Hunter? Hunter?” Hunter snapped out of his thoughts and Omega was looking at him, curiously. “You were staring again.” She said quietly. “I don’t know what you mean, Omega.” He lightly scolded, trying to change the subject.

She gave a small smirk. “You sometimes stare at _____.” Hunter cleared his throat. “And I see her stare at you sometimes, too.” She said matter-of-factly, looking back at the pile of kindling they had placed for the eventual fire. “I think she likes you.” Before he could respond, you had suddenly appeared behind them. “How’s it going?” You asked. Hunter bristled, hoping you hadn’t just heard their conversation, not even realizing you were approaching. “It’s uh…going well. I’m just about to teach Omega how to actually light the fire.” 

“I have something embarrassing to admit.” You said sheepishly. “I actually don’t know how to start a fire, either. My Master just always used his lightsaber.” You laughed and Omega smiled. 

“Mind if I watch?” You sat down next to Hunter, eager to learn as much as Omega was. Or maybe you were just eager to be close to Hunter. His senses were suddenly overwhelmed with your scent, another thing he was noticing lately. His stomach felt like it was on fire. Get a grip, Hunter. he thought. He snapped himself out of thinking about you once again, and continued with his lesson. “Im going to start with the hard way first. Say you’re stranded without gear. This is important to learn.” He took a small stick to use as a spindle and a small flat piece of wood. “This takes awhile and is a pain, but this is the most basic way to start a spark.” He began to spin the spindle between his hands quickly in to a divot he had made on the flat piece of wood on the ground, held steady by his foot. Omega watched intensely, soaking up every word and action. You saw a small gleam of sweat form at his brow, and watched the concentration in his eyes. Your heart fluttered again, suddenly imagining his sweaty brow and intense look above you in a moment of passion. The smell of smoke brought you back to reality, before your imagination went further. Hunter had made a small ember that was smoking. He carefully moved it to the kindling and gently blew on it to start a small flame.

“Woaaah, let me try!” Omega gasped excitedly and went to work the same way Hunter did on a new piece of flat wood. You watched as he patiently moved her hands to the correct position, gently correcting her when appropriate. For a dark and broody Sergeant, you recognized his moments of softness. Moments that he also sometimes shared with you, which you knew were special, especially coming from someone as guarded as him.

After trial and error, and some frustration, Omega finally got her own spark. “I did it!” She yelled. Hunter smiled.

“Good work, kid. You might just be a natural. Now, carefully put it in the kindling.”

She gently moved it to the already growing flame and looked at Hunter for approval. “There you go, you did it. That was all you.” Omega beamed and said  “Now it’s _____’s turn.” She jumped up and brushed dust and dirt off her knees, and began to walk away. “Wait, where are you going?” Hunter asked. Omega turned and called,  “I want to tell the others the fire is almost ready!” She gave Hunter a look and ran back to the Marauder where the rest of the boys had gone to rest, before Hunter and you could respond. 

It was suddenly quiet, only the gentle crackling of the small fire was to be heard. 

“I guess it’s my turn to try, huh?” You said softly, realizing it was just you and Hunter for a moment. The sun was almost set, and the small fire was casting a soft glow on the both of you. “You don’t have to-“ he began but you stopped him.

“No, I want to! What good am I to the team if I can’t even start a fire? I need to impress my Sergeant." You smirked playfully. "Also, I can’t let a kid get the best of me.” You teased as you began to spin the stick between your hands.

“You bring other skills to the team, you don’t have to worry about fire making.” He stated. “Leave that to Omega and I.” He smiled, looking at you. “Also, you don’t need to impress me. You already do that.” Suddenly, you felt shy. Hunter glanced away from you, embarrassed about what he just said, wrestling with his feelings, wondering if he had said too much. 

“Thank you, Hunter. I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how grateful I am to you, and to your brothers, for taking me in.” Hunter looked at you. “You don’t need to thank me. But I’m glad you’re here. Part of this team.” He murmured, turning away from you and looking at the fire. “Me too.” You acted before you could think, gently placing your hand on his shoulder, closing the distance between you, forgetting all about the fire lesson. Hunter stiffened a little while facing you, feeling your hand on his unarmored shoulder. The touch he often thought about late in to the night. The touch he wondered if he’d ever feel. If he even deserved it. 

Once again, you felt heat climb up your neck to your face and you began to remove your hand, but before you could, Hunter brought his other hand and placed it on top of yours. Your feelings for Hunter exploded in your chest, realizing how handsome he looked in the soft light, his brown eyes shining in the dark, wondering what you should do next as you felt the heat from his hand encapsulate yours. You were taught no attachments, but that had no meaning anymore. Was this just desperation for something that used to be taboo? You tried to read his face, as he gazed intensely at you. Hunter moved closer to you, “____...I want to tell you something…”

Your intimate moment was suddenly cut short by voices as Wrecker, Tech, Omega, and Echo emerged from the falling darkness toward you. Your hand left Hunter’s shoulder and you practically leapt away from him, startled by the intrusion. You caught a small look of disappointment on his face. “Aww yeah, it’s fire time!” Wrecker bellowed as he held a huge armful of sticks and logs. “Let’s get this going!” You were still sitting near Hunter, and Echo gave you and Hunter a sly look as he sat down on a log near the still small fire, carrying ration bars. You were suddenly distracted by the giant roar as the fire grew due to Wrecker and Omega gleefully adding more and more wood to the fire, blissfully unaware they interrupted…something. Tech tried to explain the optimal way to place logs to get the most efficient fire, but his remarks were ignored and Omega and Wrecked piled more in to the blaze, and he soon gave up.

The heat blazed and sparks flew in to the air, the wood cracking and popping. The fire was massive, and Omega had never seen anything like it and was in awe. You saw Hunter out of the corner of your eye as he stared in to the flames, his face unreadable. You all enjoyed the light and intense warmth the large blaze gave, sitting in silence for a bit. You desperately wanted to be alone with Hunter again, as you listened to Wrecker tell another taller than life tale, with an annoyed Tech trying to interject the facts. Your memory was brought back to you and your Master, quietly enjoying the fire and reflecting on your day’s mission. After Wrecker finished his story, Omega turned to you, waiting for another glimpse in to your past. She understood it was hard for you to talk about, but was hopeful to hear something from before the Galaxy she currently knew. “Omega,” Hunter warned. “____ might not want to discuss it.” He gave you a soft look. The look almost melted your heart. You wanted to desperately take his face in your hands and continue what had started before. 

“It’s okay, Hunter. I have a story.”

You told Omega of your first solo mission as a Jedi Knight. You had  infiltrated a pirate base. It wasn’t too exciting, but to Omega it was the most amazing story she’d ever heard. Echo passed out the ration bars as you told your story. After you were done, you nibbled on your bar as you stared in to the flames. There was a comfortable silence as everyone ate, enjoying the small bit of calm before you were all off again on another mission.

After awhile, the fire began to dim and there was no more wood to add. Omega let out a yawn, satisfied with her first bonfire. “We should do this more often.” She proclaimed as another yawn overtook her. “Yeah kid, we can.” Hunter whispered. Wrecker had already fallen asleep, laying over a log in an uncomfortable position, snoring away. Tech nudged Wrecker, also ready to go back to the ship to sleep. One by one, they went back to the ship, leaving you, Hunter, and Echo. Echo then stood up, bidding you both a good night. “I’ll leave you two to it, then.” He raised an eyebrow and then he was gone before you either of you could respond.

Once again, you were alone with Hunter and the slowly burning fire. He looked at you, the fire reflecting in his eyes. 

He never thought he’d be grappling with feelings like this. Especially for someone like you. But you cared about him. Worried about him and his brothers, something he’d never experienced before. It was new, and frankly, it scared him. He’d never admit it out loud, but that was the truth. But here he was, with you within arms reach again, staring at him and waiting for what might come next. You looked beautiful, ethereal in the glow of the now small fire. “Hunter…” you whispered as you maneuvered closer to him, like you were before earlier in the night. Your hand was close to his on the log you were both sitting on. You couldn’t wait any longer, the tension between you was about to snap. “You wanted to tell me something earlier?”

He stared intensely at you, trying to find the words to say.

“____, I…I wanted to tell you…I care about you.” His voice was deep, almost inaudible. You fully took his hand, looking right in to his eyes. He was suddenly overwhelmed, waiting for your response. “Hunter, I care about you too.” The second he heard you whisper those words, he boldly closed the distance, acting purely on instinct, pressing his lips against yours in a soft, quick kiss. He pulled back slightly, hoping he didn’t mess this all up. 

“____, tell me to stop and I will.” Hunter’s voice was husky and deep. Almost a whisper. It sent shivers down your spine. “Never.” You murmured as you brought a hand to his face, gently cradling his head. Relief washed over you, happy you finally revealed how you felt. He closed his eyes and leaned in to your touch, sighing a deep sigh. You moved your hand from his cheek and gripped his collar, needing more. You pulled him back to your lips for a more passionate kiss. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders as the tension between you dissipated, flying in to the sky with the embers from the fire.

It was his turn to bring his hands to your face, cradling your head gently as he deepened the kiss, your heart feeling like it was about to explode out of your chest. The sensation of your lips moving on his was almost overwhelming. His hands were strong, yet gentle as they maneuvered down to your hips, leaving a trail of fire down your body. You both pulled away again, panting slightly, looking in each other’s eyes. All the unsaid words, all the silent looks, were now completely understood by both of you. 

Your hand that was on his collar moved to the back of his head, threading your fingers through his long, soft locks while your other hand gripped his shoulder. You whispered his name as he pulled you in impossibly close for another kiss, getting drunk on your scent, your body. 

His tongue slowly made his way in to your mouth, which pulled a groan from deep in your chest. Your reactions spurred him on, his hands on your waist ghosting underneath your tunic, his gloved hands moving over your bare skin making the butterflies in your stomach explode. You desperately wanted those gloves off, to feel his skin on yours. After what felt like an eternity, you parted for air once again.  The fire had now died down quite a bit, leaving you both in almost total darkness. You were illuminated by the stars, the only sound being your shallow breaths. You both wanted so much more, but now wasn’t the time. Hunter nuzzled his face in to your neck, and moved one of his hands from your hips to grasp yours, which had fallen to your side. “I’m yours, if you’ll have me.” He whispered against your neck, his heart thudding against yours. “Yes, Hunter.” You whispered back, squeezing his hand. He moved his head from your neck and brought you against his chest in an embrace, his chin leaning on your head. You both gazed at the glowing embers of what used to be the giant fire, wondering what comes next. But at least for now, you were at peace.