#tumblr does feel like a diary tho

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

dear diary-slash-tumblr mutuals,

today i learned about the difference between em-dashes and en-dashes. although it's not today i supposed, because i'll be throwing this into the queue. it was very interesting and now i have somewhat an idea of what to do while writng.

love, me.

[biborispavlikovsky]

not to see patterns in everything but i found a shirt last week that i lost when i moved last fall and when i wore it out last week a barista gave me a free drink in addition to the one i ordered bc he thought i would like it based on my order and was like "now u can compare". today i wore it again today and a few items i ordered ahead at the bakery weren't available so the girl gave me 3 extra pastries for free and was offering more (literally said i could have whatever i wanted she was so sweet) so anyway, the shirt is not blessed but people have been exceptionally kind in the past few weeks and the shirt has witnessed it with me

[bakatenshii]

ok not to get more deeplore and i know i just said i wasnt gonna take this seriously oopsies (I’M NOT I PROMISE) but

[toastsnaffler]

homemade apple crumble (<- with fresh apples from my mums garden that she gave me to take back w me) + a smidge of pistachio ice cream (not homemade. sorry) yall wish u were me rn

[ratgrinders]

Lucy headcanon: she journals. But like the way Kafka journals where it is not helping her mental state at all and in fact may be making things worse. She’s such like a pretentious literary indie sad girl to me. She’s the girl behind a tumblr blog that romanticizes the ‘sad girl’ and ‘female rage’

Bonus: do the other ratgrinders journal? Does it help them or make them worse?

^^^^^^ sorry ur ask inspired me lmao

BUT YEAH god i love the interpretation of lucy as someone who kinda romanticizes sadness in a way, until it becomes Too Real and Too Close To Home now that she's actually died.

I think the rat grinders journal to varying degrees!

Kipperlilly i think got recommended to journal by jawbone, as a sort of "let your thoughts flow freely you you have a place to express them." kipperlilly doesnt see the point of it, she mostly just ends up writing really angry vent posts that almost tear the paper, which tend to get angrier as the year progresses.

Ruben i think maybe writes down song lyrics, doodles, maybe even poetry if he's feeling up to it, but he's less inspired with the rage crystal and hasn't been doing it as much. he does find it relaxing tho.

ivy im not sure? i could see her maybe scrapbooking or something like that. just making a collage out of a bunch of things that are meaningful to her.

oisins very practical and only ever writes notes, reminders, thoughts to himself. he probably uses it as an agenda of sorts to keep track of things.

mary ann doesnt journal, but she does blog lol, though i doubt its anything personal. shes just a very active forum poster, and i doubt shes keen on letting her personal thoughts be anywhere external.

buddys diary entry starts with "Dear diary <3, Oh golly, what a day! Every day is a trial under His good graces. Why, I was at a "social function" when this boy walked up to me asking if i wanted some of the "good stuff" because it looked like I needed some "positive vibes". I told him the only vibes I need come from the Holy Spirit, thank you very much. If only we could all walk in the light of Helio. I'll have to pray extra hard this evening to balance out the unholy vibes I was exposed to. Yours in Christ, Buddy Dawn <3"

[liannelara-dracula]

Hi, can we have the diaboy's handwriting?

Hi Love,

Totally, this sounds so cool. For more explanation of if cursive is old or not you can refer to the comments.☺️😊

-Liannelara

P.S. For fun here is admins hand writing

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

Warning:

*certain words have been/may be censored for Tumblr guidelines.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The Diaboys Handwriting hcs

Sakamaki

Shu

Fancy and kinda dark academia aesthetic but is definitely not readable to most of us.

It's in cursive of course cause he's archaic.

And he's pretty lazy, he like barely holds his pen.

He mostly writes in Latin that way none of his brothers understand but sometimes he writes in his demon language.

Although with all the tech now he literally does the voice audio type or anything he needs to write down.

It's so rare to see this lazy ass with a pencil in his hand lol.

Reiji

Its crazy but in cursive it is beautiful, like great penmanship.

But in print, Reiji shows a completely different side of himself.

He never writes in print because he finds that people may think he's vulnerable.

Reiji only writes his most personal thoughts in print and its because he never shares with anyone and can't be himself except for on paper.

So only sadness and angry are written in print.

It is canon that he once held a diary when he was younger so it wouldn't be surprising if he writes his feelings in print. I mean he's stressed.

If he had a lover he writes in print because he wants her to know this side.

Cursive is what he uses when he's doing chemistry or a grocery list.

Laito

The left is how he writes in his demon language its more secretive and mysterious. He hardly uses it tbh.

The writing on the right is usual, normal print/cursive writing.

It's not super fancy or plain.

It is plain but with a little flare.

His writing is pretty neat and clean.

Although he doesn't write a lot he does like to write about his sexual escapades.

Kanato

He alternates between the two.

The left is when he is more focused and maybe upset. But not mad.

If he was mad, he'd write everything in caps.

Although the right is when he is calm since it's cursive.

He uses both interchangeably tho.

What's actually nice about his handwriting is not that it's simple or because it's bold or small. It's what Kanato writes.

I seriously think he writes poems and he is really good at it.

I mean any girl could fall in love with how this man writes, especially if he writes about you.

And he has such a nice voice when he talks about his lover/love interest.

Ayato

It's a mess, he prefers to type.

He makes spelling and grammar mistakes all the time but he uses a pen.

He literally cannot read his writing sometimes and asks Reiji if he knows and his brother just gets really mad at him.

He crosses out so much stuff.

And he writes in any spot.

He doesn't stay on the line, the letters are everywhere.

It's super plain and he never writes in cursive because he literally does know what is the top or bottom of the paper after writing it.

Subaru

Very messy and always in ink.

There are so many scribbles and ink smudges.

He always writes in print because his cursive is unreadable.

He doesn't stay on the lines, his writing moves up and down.

It's very careless and free.

He writes very big.

And has a hard time reading his handwriting sometimes.

Kino

Different and kinda neat but has a lot of crossed-out parts.

Sometimes capitalizes things for no reason.

He can write in cursive but wouldn't choose to.

Although his writing style is unique considering the font.

He is also part of the ink-only squad.

He also likes to abbreviate a lot of stuff.

Is able to keep his writing in a steady line for the most part.

Mukami

Ruki

If he's presenting it's neat, if its for his own things its sloppier.

But still, no soul has ever been able to read it.

He does it on purpose.

Kou has always wondered what it says but he's never been able to tell if it's even in English or in the demon language. Like he has no clue.

Ruki does this in case something thinks about snooping.

He probably does write in his free time, and honestly, he writes a lot. I bet he has so many journals that are filled over the years about his life as a vampire.

So it's hundreds of years of the world all in these books of his.

It's honestly fascinating but no one can read them.

Though if he had a lover he may open up to them about it and share what is in there.

But he might be a tease and lie about what's in there to get her to laugh and throw a pillow at her.

Kou

Okay now although the content at the end of this letter (left) is yandere that's not the point.

I seriously feel he writes in a bunch of fonts and caps/lowercase just cause he's everywhere.

And this is usually how he writes to his fans because they think it "cute"

The right shows his usual handwriting tbh.

It takes a second or two to understand.

But it's not too bad.

He hardly uses his handwriting for anything tho.

Puts hearts on "I"s

Yuma

Messy, always messy.

He is just so sloppy.

You'd think that because he has good hands in a garden he'd have nice handwriting, but you're wrong.

He connects letters with each other, and he has spaces, eraser smudges, and even crossed-out words.

Although his paper is not clean and you can read the writing, well for the most part.

He does have a nice signature though.

Azusa

He has really neat handwriting.

Like it's easy to read, it's neat, and it's not super big.

But there's only one problem.

His papers are always ripped or crumbled, torn, worn out, or have watermarks.

Like there isn't one time where the paper is nice.

He seems like he doesn't know how to do cursive or rather he forgets.

He probably writes relatively small.

Tsukinami

Carla

Fancy cursive and then regular cursive.

He's never used print in his entire 3,000+ years lol.

If he is writing a very formal letter to someone important he uses the writing on the left.

If he is writing for himself or to his brother he uses the writing on the right.

Either way, no one can deny that he has good penmanship.

His signature is also really elegant.

He has his own signature style in cursive.

Something most cannot do.

Shin

Like his brother it is in cursive and very fancy.

The left is how he writes in a more formal setting because it is easier to read.

He always writes really neatly surprisingly, it's the founder prince in him.

It's always in a steady line too, you'd think he'd measure where he wanted to put the handwriting.

The right is his more loose and less legible writing. He uses this if his letter is informal and it is to someone he is comfortable with or has known for a while.

He doesn't really write in print unless its for school and he wants to blend in.

Because he's supposed to be a British exchange student it doesn't surprise me if most of his notes are in shorthand.

I think once he learned that no one uses cursive he decided to not use it that much and stuck to print.

Which probably looks something like this.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[bigbumder96]

account introduction thing!!!??

ngl i feel a bit goofy doing this🙁forgive me if this is weird, im used to getting attacked on tiktok for literally nothing (i rarely use tumblr)

general:

name: darcie

age: im a minor😭

gender: girl (she/her :3 )

sexuality: lesbian

from/live in: england unfortunately😣 east london specifically, or essex depending on if u focus on the postcode or the london borough😭 officially its east london tho

interests:

tv shows:

- the inbetweeners

- white gold

- station 19 (still have to catch up on the latest episode lmao

- 9-1-1 (also still have to catch up one episode😭)

- fresh meat

- ted lasso

- heartbreak high (both the old version and the reboot !!! i dont prefer one over the other, although i do tend to post about the 90s one more lmaooo)

- friday night dinner

- this country

- call the midwife

- ackley bridge

- baby reindeer (i wouldnt exactly call it an interest, this show fucking traumatised me, but i watched it like last week😭)

- phoenix rise

- moment of eighteen (a k-drama btw!!)

- move to heaven (also a k-drama!!)

- there she goes

- benidorm

- skins (only gen 2 tho im afraid😞)

- the inBESTigators (dont judge lmfao😭😭😭)

- little lunch (i cant theyre js both such good shows)

- dodo (a cartoon)

- taskmaster (only season eight tho for the icon joe thomas‼️)

- mr bigstuff

- supacell

im currently watching derry girls and jamie johnson atm !!

films:

- the shawshank redemption

- the green mile

- goodbye charlie bright (my absolute fav omg)

- the business

- the football factory (theyre making the sequel to this at my school im so happy i love nick love films😍i didnt see nick love himself tho💔)

- good will hunting

- bohemian rhapsody

- dead mans shoes

- ferris buellers day off

- harry brown

- little miss sunshine

- the inbetweeners movie

- the inbetweeners 2

- white chicks

- the basketball diaries

- mid90s

- spiderman: into the spider-verse

- spiderman: across the spider-verse

music:

- alex g (fav song: too many to put here, but if i had to pick then prolly the whole race, trick, and rules album😭)

- tv girl (fav song: better in the dark, louise, and daughter of a cop)

- the fratellis (fav song: i honestly dk, i havent gotten that much into them yet😣i js listened to one of their albums and played fifa)

- the killers (fav song: read my mind and andy youre a star)

- the smiths (fav song: girl afraid, bigmouth strikes again, and this night has opened my eyes. guys i swr i liked them songs before they got popular im acc rly annoyed at the tiktofication of bigmouth strikes again and this night has opened my eyes😣)

- queen (fav song: spread your wings and long away)

- the stone roses (fav song: i wanna be adored and made of stone. basic i know😣😣)

- the jam (fav song: down in the tube station at midnight, david watts, and man in the corner shop)

- oasis (live forever. icba to type ‘fav song’ anymore😭)

- mac the knife (here to stay)

- mitski (why didnt you stop me, goodbye my danish sweetheart, me and my husband, your best american girl, once more to see you, etcetera…)

extras:

- im into football and i am a big arsenal fan !!!! my fav player is def martin ødegaard, and i may or may not be one of those deluded emile smith-rowe fans who think that hes gonna have a huge comeback and be like he was two seasons ago🤫🤫🤫

(edit: im gonna kms he left arsenal🙁)

i also support england as a country (obviously) plus a tad bit of dagenham amd redbridge, because they are my local ! (before you call me a glory hunter, ive supported arsenal since i was 3 because thats what my mum and grandparents support!!! also its a bit hard to support your local when not all the games are televised and you cant afford a season ticket, not to mention i had no clue who dagenham and redbridge were when i was choosing a football team, because i had no clue how leagues worked and i didnt gaf about football tbh💀)

- i like webtoons! my fav is jacksons diary, our walk home, and crystal city killers😱 (please does anyone have any cute wlw webtoon recs im so desperate)

- in year seven my drama teacher made us watch a play (on the screen, not irl) called slowtime but we didnt get to finish it💔my teacher spoiled the ending but i didnt care and tracked down the rest of that video bcs slowtime is such a good play i love everything abt it😍

- last year i was obsessed with this book series called football academy (written by tom palmer) and it was genuinely so good but there was nobody myp age cuz it was for kids💔i dont rly read them anymore, but the interest is still there if someone by chance has read them please contact me and have a conversation with me about it🙏🙏🙏

- i also have a very obscure interest about london boroughs??? like i dont even know a lot about them, i just love talking about/watching videos about london boroughs... i blame the lb guy on tiktok

i apologise as this was very long, and i probably wont even post that much😭 sorry for the yapping tho🙏🙏🙏

[haich-slash-cee]

Murderbot TV show thoughts

Looking over the casting choice and also who is making the murderbot TV show and I'm just not excited :/

Rambling post with lots of opinions follows....

"Alexander Skarsgård will lead the series and will serve as executive producer." (source)

:(

All the queer, PoC, ace, aro, agender, non binary actors out there.... All the fascinating choices... who the hell is this. Did the people making this show even read the books, like all the characters in there are PoC. Also, executive producer? To be clear I do not know this actor at all. I am seeing posts that he does deadpan well, and speculation that exec producer roles means he's excited to do the books, which is prob good news.... but as if there's not PoC actors who are also deadpan etc etc?? Also, again repeating other tumblr posts, the effect this will have on fanart, too.

"Martha Wells will serve as consulting producer." Well I'm glad she's getting moneys, but how much influence is she going to have??

although - THIS is why you have to specify if a book character is PoC instead of being vague about it (as white authors seem want to do)! Because otherwise people (esp white people) just assume the character is white! this is just how system racism works, it's not interesting or novel, I'm just parroting what so many PoC authors have pointed out. It means that a character who describes itself in the book as a mishmash of generic human while surrounded by a lot of brown skinned humans somehow gets a casting of Alexander Skarsgård. (even if secunit was explicitly described as having brown skin or being not white in appearance, Paramount might just whitewash the character anyway, but still)

Going on..... "The Weitz brothers will write, direct, and produce under their Depth of Field banner. "

The Pinocchio movie here is a live action disney remake, not the Guillermo del Toro stop motion one. If you're like me and perked up a little, on seeing the title, because you got the Pinocchio wrong.

I guess "Rogue One" was a little interesting if depressing, idk.

The company is also linked to the movie "Prospect" (gorgeous scenery and scifi immersion and really nice soundtrack, but I found the movie rather racist and the characters lacking and I personally didn't vibe with it) and "The Farewell" which I mean to watch because people have told me they liked it.

Well, not much of this combination feels like the Murderbot books, to me, tho. I'm kind of puzzled. Like what are they getting from the books. What am I supposed to expect with "Murderbot diaries" being part of the filmography above.

Well how about the execute producers. " David S. Goyer executive produces alongside Keith Levine for Phantom Four. "

What in the hell?? Noooo! This is like the direct opposite of the core of murderbot! It's like these people skimmed the skin of space dystopian gun pew pew elements and were "yeah this is what the books are about".

Earlier, I was jokingly telling someone "I feel like these people are trying to make James Bond or the Bourne Trilogy in space or something with Murderbot, sheesh" and I fear that is in fact what is happening.

(deep breath)

Murderbot stars an autistic agender aro ace icon character who in the 2nd book hides away in a transport watching TV shows for weeks on end or whatever and then gets called out for that by Pin-Lee in the 4th book. Murderbot and a university space ship bond over the space ship being afraid to watch its fav blorbo die in a fictional show and also the two do their best impression of trying to act like a human.

Also there's fighting and stuff.

Like, that juxtaposition is the fun of the books - like finally, the awkward get-your-gender-stuff-away-from-me a-spec neurodivergent characters have their day in bringing humanity into space dystopia pew pew gun theater. We want to play in this setting, too.

Oh and the books and SecUnit hate corporations and everyone is genderqueer with neo pronouns and polyamory abounds, and there's PoC everywhere.

"the fact that we're getting the corporation rim version of Murderbot and that everyone is kinda bummed about it" is a pretty good summary.

From a specific hurt/comfort whump blog POV -

How are any of these main producer etc people, above, going to grasp the emotional hurt comfort and humor and warm heart of these books? The Tenderness??

Like listen, I need to be clear, I had a blast watching "Blade" with some people a few years ago. It was great. Really fun late night party movie with the right people, A+ experience. However, do I trust Call of Duty Batman vs Superman any of these people to Grasp The Murderbot Books and Handle the Tenderness. No, I Do No, not especially.

. . . . .

Okay fine haich slash cee, who would you cast and hire as directors producers etc. Well first of all a bunch of queer people and PoC and queer PoC. Do you know how many of us want to play in space opera dystopian explosion gunfight theater too. Also I saw someone suggest Tig Notaro play SecUnit - and honestly, that's a fun idea, I would maybe hire a bunch of comedians and also activist types to grab the dry humor and and absolute abhorrance of corporations that permeates the books.

And I'd get a more indie studio production if possible. I know there's the action sequences and special effects and all that IS important in a genre way. Like we are here for all that. We are here for death agriculture robots attacking people and violent robot fights and space kaboom moments. I personally don't immediately know how or which producers studios etc to hire for all that to be included, while keeping slightly smaller studio vibes. Yes SFX action money, but like, more in the spectrum of doctor who budget money and special effects, if that makes sense.

The gunfights and special effects are still more of a secondary feature in my mind. I want to watch the awkwardness of SecUnit and a room full of caring compassionate researchers fully hit the mark but in the most subtle way. I'm here for Ratthi once again saying "what?" in the middle of like the 5th melee situation he's been a part of and Ratthi still is confused as anything. And also, there's some explosions and space travel happening.

As for actors, I'm not really up on actors much, but these tumblr posts have suggestions.

Actually.... Ok, so I like explosions as much as anyone, but what if some small but acclaimed indie character drama creators made Murderbot. Like what if that was one specific flavor of an adaptation. What if the murderbot books were shot primarily as a quirky indie character study tv show set in space. The filmography of the people making it are like: Indie drama - Indie comedy - Murderbot - quirky indie drama - (implying they made murderbot and then went right back to indie movies I guess) I'd be like, "huh, what version of space gunfight drama are we watching here?". Idk, I think it'd be fun.

thanks for reading along in my murderbot ramblings!

[mellowmaidenhairs]

rad book review time because last week i got the new taz gn early and eleventh hour is my favorite arc so i wanted to jot down a couple of my thoughts on the book

TUMBLR WONT LET ME HIDE THIS SO ‼️SPOILERS FOR THE GRAPHIC NOVEL AND PODCAST AHEAD‼️

one thing is WOW this one is like a whole 100 pages longer than crystal kingdom and petals to the metal… it makes sense tho considering we are entering the latter half of the story. the previously on page is super cute i love the artwork….

stuff i liked ….<3

first of all designs …. and visuals…. the gns always have really vibrant colors and this has some very nice warm color palates which i love….

i have my ummm gripes with some designs in the gns to say the least bur i actually really loved most in here they were super good. also i liked the thbs cowboy out fits that’s all i will say on the main 3’s designs (clenching fist) i loved cassidy istus and ren

new scene at the start i loved that a lot … i will gobble up any redrobe foreshadowing i can get

THEY ADDED THE JOHANN AND VOIDFISH PART YAAAY!!!! i wish he played his harp tho like in the podcast…

i feel like the way they moved things around to fit the format was rlly well done here on my first read i was like oh my god they cut out the whole lunar interlude but they didn’t!!! i love how they incorporated it in between the loops a lot!!!!!!

nailed this scene i think … very pretty page so i will put it here

i loved the 100+ chapter gag i like a lot of the added gags and the jokes that were kept in too

THE CHALICE SCENE!!!! very anticipated scene and even tho it’s kinda condensed i feel like it’s pretty good.., stolen century foreshadowing aswell :-)

BARRY ALERT LUP ALERT ‼️‼️‼️📢📢📢📢

THE END SCENES!!! extended krav scene and merle writing the letter to his kids wjen the stars disappear and magnus ohhhhhffgfg…. so excited for suffering game ^_^

stuff i did not like….<\3

no fanart gallery this book?? maybe it has something to do with the controversy surrounding the payment of the artists which sucks a lot if so

no luca and redmond… they are cut entirely which makes me sad … i can understand this tho since they probably needed to cut something out to condense the plot a bit.. i do like that ren robs the bank tho even if it sacrifices the magic class lie taako does in the show

the diary of sheriff issak scene did not hit for me like it did in the podcast ok………..it’s alright but they changed the diary entry soooo much and didn’t flow as well imo…. i am not a fan of how much they slightly/completely alter a lot of lines from the show randomly but idk maybe they did it for a reason shrug

more nitpicky than anything: i love the chalice scene and the lup foreshadowing made me crazy but i wish the memory montage displayed taakos childhood of moving from place to place/not having a stable home better as it’s pretty important to his character

also nitpicky but i love the magnus redrobe scene a lot still BUT i wish they kept the part where he looks at it after june gave it to him and we don’t see it til later… idk why it’s changed but i think it would’ve been cool to see his silent reaction before we get to see what’s on the page…

ok that’s all for now…. these are just my initial thoughts after 2 reads (last monday and today) so my opinions could change but overall this one was probably a 8.5/10 best tazgn so far for me cant wait for the suffering game 🕺🕺🕺🕺

[hollowfaith]

Pick 2 in every section except Canon Muses and Fandoms (pick 1 from those) :3

Questions for the mun

this is long so imma cut it lol

BASICS x2 What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

in 3rd grade we watched the cartoon movie version of the legend of sleepy hollow and had an assignment to write a summary of it. i was barely out of ESL at the time but thought it was a neat assignment (and prided myself on my memory for details) so i hecking did my best and wrote a long detailed one (with pictures because it was elementary school and you could illustrate your stuff) and for some reason my teacher and the principal were all happy about it and made a big deal complete with ceremony and applause and made me feel important and cool.

after that i was like "yeah! that was awesome. can't i write more stories like that even outside of school?" and thus it kicked off my journaling obsession besides writing diaries of my daily life. i did a lot of original fics and sailor moon/digimon-inspired stuff but when i found ff.net it was like discovering a whole new world where you could control the characters to do whatever you wanted (while staying IC, cause that was definitely part of the "rules" of the challenge) and that was amazing.

realizing writing meant i could take destiny into my own hands for these made-up blorbos was such a fun power trip. i have tried to use that power responsibly ever since.

Do you still write your first muse?

dahlia hawthorne was my first real muse on tumblr and i poke her now and then, but she seems content in her semi-retirement in my brain. sometimes she wakes up to snark people but she's enjoying her vacation in peace right now : )

CANON MUSES x1

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

don't shoot me but before i wrote yagen toushirou for touken ranbu i was like "yeah yeah okay this is just a standard big brother x cool doctor type trope," i actually didn't even pick him up until i wanted to try someone new and my other friends (playing other swordboys at the time) suggested him

then i had to research him and really fell in love with the dichotomy of his character, about how he's very human with his brothers but also 100% a weapon and embraces that fact, about the juxtaposition of DUTY vs. FEELING and the HUMAN HEART vs. OBJECT/TOOL he's been balancing all his life on a very fine line (and does flawlessly, because he's yagen) and i was like, heck! this is gonna be so fun to RP and make him deal with stuff

tho most of the time i got into crack threads again and shipping with Fudou it was still very very fulfilling and im glad my friends convinced me to try him out :D

OCs x2

Do you have developed dynamics with the OC of another mun that has influenced your OC or Canon muse?

yeah I mean this guy wouldn't exist without Jade's Klaus u know? his template might've been taken from his faceclaim guy but the rest of him i molded to fit Jade's OC, specifically his personality and to an extent his looks. in some ways Klaus has everything Aurelius lacks and vice versa, they have this classic balancing scales thing going on that i like very much and try to fill intentionally.

i also wanna say Klaus is one of the few windows to Aurelius' genuine gentle/good side, the side he might have been all the time if his father didn't screw him up from birth (of course i can't say his dad is all to blame, but he sure takes 60~75% of the blame).

as for developed dynamics im guessing this is asking about interactions with another OC that influenced this one...why do i feel like they've all been humbling experiences... Issy has shown him some humans are worth treating with care, Constantine has demonstrated how not everyone takes his shit, Dar is there to inspire working business relationships while highlighting Aury's awkward aspects fitting in, Huey undos all the good work everyone else puts in by proving how crappy some humans act, etc.

idk how to answer that part aside from "they help subvert expectations, but i don't know if that's enough to actually change the way he acts" why did i pick this Q the second part's hard to answer hahah

Who was your first OC?

time to get embarrassing so my first OC with an actually established backstory and stuff was this girl with a randomnly generated Japanese name i thought was pretty (Saikoubi) for a digimon RP group

and i intentionally gave her a happy-go-lucky personality and positive outlook because looking at the rest of the applicants everyone was like either emo or orphaned or both and my 14-year-old self was like "well! how are we going to save the world as digidestined if we're sad all the time" and basically made her the complete opposite of everyone else

it was rad, people got to be edgy, she got to be sunny, we didn't really get past the first region between our threads before the group died down but i think we all had fun and that's what matters in the end xD

FANDOMS x1

What is your favorite fandom in which you write?

i still like touken ranbu but it's more fun to write (RP) that when other swordboys are around, plus the fandom's so saturated with new swordboys these days it's hard to keep up with latest lore stuff. i still try to write 1 fanfic for it in the annual xmas secret santa thing the english-speaking fans host, tho i'm very very slow these days

beyond that i've been dipping into FFXIV fic writing a few times but i haven't grasped the language of the world well enough yet so i'm not satisfied with my work ehhh it is what it is for now

SHIPS x2

Do you plot a ship or see where it goes?

it's more fun to see where a ship goes because i like unpredictability. like the unscripted stuff feels more genuine to me especially if it surprises me u know? i do acknowledge the value of a well-planned romance but in a fall first vs. fall harder relationship i'm definitely invested more in the "fall harder and beautifully in all the disastrous ways" kinda person

i think that's how my past ships have generally gone, finding a connection between 2 muses, expanding on it, referencing it, and then boom! one day you know so much more about the other muse and you're always thinking about them and wait, what, we're hanging out together? just the two of us? is this a DATE? kinda revelations are very fun

What are you looking for in a ship?

i enjoy ships with room to develop. like it's cute when they come together and are all kiss kiss/blush blush but the process to getting there is half the fun! and the pining. and maybe a little misunderstanding here and there.

uhhhh i guess what im saying is i like the journey to get to the ship even more than the ship itself sometimes

or if we're in a ship let's go crash the boat for fun!!

hehe drama

TUMBLR x2

What was your first blog / URL?

preciousdollie

if it sounds cringe it's feenie's fault he came up with the nickname...even announced it to everyone in court of all places

Do you still have your first blog / URL?

yeah the blog's still up tho the theme's so old it's a little broken. i basically keep all my RP blogs around for archive purposes, i like going back to read the stuff sometimes (also the reblogs of art and aesthetic posts are cute + good cause some tumblrs delete and you lose that post forever otherwise)

[eyeless-jack62002]

You know im mentally fucked when im here again

Also to those posting in these tags u can put the squiggle line so ur not jumpscaring ppl and less likely to get reported so fast.

Not me on my 3rd acc. Tho yall really help me stay clean. My partner started back in Novemberish maybe sooner. Right after our 4 y anniversary. And then she just dropped it on me. She knew i was trying to stay clean for her and i was doing such a good job. I only thought about it and would scroll here to "get my fix" its an addiction and i dont think ppl realize that. She brought my favorite drvgs into the house and hid it from me for months. Tho she doesnt even know i have a tumblr. Shes starting therapy now finally. And me too. I have an appt next week. I havent been since i was 12. Im scared. I dont trust therapists. I wish i could just cvt head to toe. All over everywhere. Id be exactly how i wanna be. I want this. But i cant. Gotta be around for my partner. Even tho she didnt want to for me. I told her if she wanted we could together but that we wouldnt be same ever again. I wish shed said yes but thats just jack. He clouds my thoughts with his own. Ik im sick. I wish she never told me. Ive been spiraling for months but i have to shove that down so i can help her get better. I warned her. She knew i was trying ro get better but she still fucking did it behind my back for months!! I almost broke up with her. I wnated so bad to run away and never see her again. But whats the price of choosing to love someone but urself. Id give my entire being up for her and in a way i do. Ive just been so hurt and its all i can think about. I threw away my fucking stash for her!! I regret that somedays. Today especially. We had to drain our fucking saving acc bc of her. She kept skipping work and we kept having less and less financial stability. Still dont but were starting to recover from that but barely. Its like she fucking ignored all of my advice as someone who has been selfh@rming for over a decade. Fuck what i have to say tho. The worst part of it all she cvt the same way and places as my quail as my ruby did. Fucked. She didnt know that tho. And i was finally fucking comfortable with telling her about my self h@arm and she fucking did it anyways. And she told me as if it was her telling what we her having for dinner. I cant even cry anymore over this. Why does this all still bother me. I have no tears left. I admit i screamed a lot. I hit her cvts slapped them. You didnt feel the pain then but u feel it now?? It hurts now? And she said to me "i thought you would have noticed" so snarky. Why the fuck would i think my partner who knows of my history would fucking betraw me like this. And then to be a bitch about it and ask for MY HELP!?!? TEH FUCKING INSANITY. She doing better now tho. Good for her. Ive never been okay. And i dont think i will be. I dont want to get better. Being sick feels too good. And eventually me subbing out cvting for w33d will get old eventually. It always does. Nothing can scratch this itch i have so badly in me. Its like my insides scream to be let out. Its like an energy that flows out with the red. She doesnt understand what cvtting is for me. She said she wanted to die. But knowing you wont die is what keeps me held. I have sold my soul. Im bound. Ruby stopped when we broke up. And i told her i did as well. I know were both liars but thats why ill always have a place in me for ruby. I love my partnerbut if she wants to replace ruby she can be my guest. But replaceing ruby will just make you into a ruby. And no one wants that. I love my partner and im clean for her. Why couldnt she do that for me.

I feel like im in my wattpad days in here. Jacks old diary. But he likes it here better. Anyways if u made it this far enjoy a gif from one of my current special interest show 🖤 -t and jack

[againwthevampirebllsht]

january 2nd 2024

welcome! to my first tumblr post since 2016! its been a hot min...

a little bit about me !

got the sudden urge to start an online diary, i missed being able to just rant and post something without worrying about wtf ppl i know think (the feminine urge to have an anonymous online presence) and also wanted to be able to just rant and talk myself though things and look back on stuff later (aka just a diary but i can type way faster than i can handwrite bullshit out)

(currently) 20 and in my second year of university, going for a bfa in painting and a double major in history (i love every second but god its killing me)

im rlly into punk/emo/alt/rock music, will def be posting recs that nobody will ever look at but itll make me feel better to scream into the void about it

also! rlly into fantasy novels (not in an acotar way but in a blood and war and politics way)(tho dont get me wrong i LOVE a good fantasy romance but it must be done right)

i absolutely love art! trying to get more comfortable with the idea of calling myself an artist (duh bitch ur literally an art major ofc ur an artist) (the art school imposter syndrome is so real) its hard to feel like ive crossed the line from a kid trying to imitate and act like shes an artist into someone who actually is an artist and does that shit seriously (but thats a whole can of worms for a new post entirely)

(i guess i also fucking love to over use parenthesis too?)(you learn something new about yourself everyday)

most of my art is centered around themes of nostalgia and the passage of time and other bittersweet feelings like that (when does normalcy become nostalgia?) (<- as a guiding question for my work) sometimes its about things as simple as physical changes, preference changes, or evolution (in abstract terms) or other times the ideas get more complex but im horrible at explaining it in actual words instead of trying to communicate it just through the painting itself and feelings (need to get better at that)

and yeah! thats about all I can think about rn..

[toastsnaffler]

yayy had a good time seeing a play locally (thoughts: very cool very funny good use of the stage + interesting artistic choices + made me think + I want to read the book it was based off... won't share the title tho bc I don't need tumblr knowing exactly where I live. sorry) but also its subconsciously tormenting sitting in the dark for almost 2 hours next to my flatmate (thoughts: very cool very pretty also she smells nice oh man I kinda want to touch her hair or lie on her shoulder or sit in her lap or hmm maybe i should stop thinking abt this like. right now)

[whateverlaaaaa]

19th august, I forgot abt tumblr, again

after coming back from my beach trip, my first chairing experience, andddd I think thats all that has been happening since summer holiday starts fruitful, and a bit tense, holiday. I got my advanced open water license (PADI AOW), I did a night dive and went down 27 meters down the sea, and I must say night dive does hit different. The fear of not being able to see things clearly and how dark deep down the sea is, and not being familiar with the sea itself, scares me on some level, but I have seen countless videos and images when people go to night dive, both excitement and fear. it was great tho, 10/10 experience, definitely would do it again. if I have the chance, I would do the life saver license in the future.

throughout the license journey I got pretty burnt out (esp after I decide to take AOW) it felt like I was burnt out from studying but even worse because I was burnt out emotionally and physically, each day wasn't physically challenging for me but my body couldn't bear it everyday going down under the sea and bearing the water pressure, I started to have headaches and heavy breathing, it wasn't pleasant AT ALL, all I felt was "I hope this ends soon" and every dive becomes "I hope this dive ends soon"

but I did manage to slay the buoyancy, I manage to do PBP on a 1.3 meter depth, at the last day HAHA.

first chairing experience, well it wasn't much, but it was fun and as usual.

now I'm just focusing on my MUN conference on early September and my concert on October.

oh and I went back (still do) on writing. poems, thoughts, some turned to a diary instead but I came back on writing, and I miss this feeling.

oh and also I have a performance this saturday the 24th, at my uni. we're playing the greatest showman (which means a lot to me, I watched the movie way too many times that my parents are getting so sick of it, and my first cello performance was Never Enough, which was incredible(I mean the song not my performance) and im super excited to perform this song again), la la land(one of my all time best movies, I can't wait to perform as well, excruciating love story, just on my taste) and viva la vida (Coldplay classic, I love this arrangement over the one i played before)). simply lovely. counting down my summer holiday and starting uni, 33 days and 16 hours.

listening to: a look of confusion by reuben plays (im obsessed with café jazz recently, I found out it calms my anxiety)

attachment: a view of sunset at the holiday place

[fr3akinthecorner]

100 guns 100 clips fuck your brother nigga hey u like uzzy snubbz? yes he's cool well he likes your playlists! that's good i'm glad he likes them why do u type so slow? i have weak hands no u don't! ur phone is just heavy! hey do u like eboy content? yes why? you're good at it! thx so are u omg u know who this is? yes who? the chinese guy with the buzz cut! yes me! u have a crush on me? yes i do well i can take u to china i know but it's gonna take time but at least i have something to do for the years ahead i need like 2 years dude what?! it's keeho u can't go to china well then he can come here how long? 3 years omg hahaha! ok fine lol sorry but i need to lose weight from my stomach mt st helens lol what? i like him yes she does like me! are u tired? no i slept how long? like 4 hours oh ok you're good um ok thank u i can't play the playlist game rn it's hard just play! were having fun! ok ill tell u when i start omg ok so why aren't i high? idk um u need to focus thx good advice i guess ok so like i can't write my diary on twitter it's too hard im just gonna use tumblr btw the meth is good it's just my body is making me sober feeled it sucks well just wait i know hahaha ok so i like posting on twitter more tho this sucks but i love that i don't only have to talk to keeho he's really annoying sometimes well he is your daddy! possibly... i don't look like him yes u do! no only sometimes i think he did something to change the way i look do u like the way u look? no i don't and its not body dismorphia its my thick face what?! your face is not thick today it is! well just deal with it baby ok bb i love you ily 2 omg you're so shy! yea so what? it's ok she's coming home tonight it's keeho you are fucking crazy like there is something wrong with you keeho why?! you're a dreamer i'm more logical we could never work out so im staying home for now and yes im keeping my cashapp card i know u don't want me to have money what?! no you're not keeping it! omg hahaha you're right he is kind of crazy he's a psycho but like i feel better after laurel ridge wtf?! i know hahaha but it did help me but im on vacation from the manga prob for a couple months idk man are u mad about it? no im not bc i have spotify now and netflix im not into manga that's why i'm married to ellsworth kelly to live outside of the manga it's better for me but i thought that you didn't love him? if he's south korean then i love him we have to go! bye!

[kgescoba]

I’ve been on and off with my physical and mental health for years. And its more and more frustrating each time. I am tired, tired, and tired off my bullshit. This first half of the year has also been one of the worst for me. I’m kinda tired of just wallowing in my own pity tbh. Feeling bad and horrible about myself and then doing fucking nothings. I’m ridiculous for that honestly. But it changes today. I can’t keep this pity party going. I’ve always been so good at everything else like academics, cleanliness, responsibilities but for some reason I’m always my last priority when I should be my top priority.

My friends and I are going in a trip in January 2024 hopefully and I’ve set my first few goals to hopefully be completed by that time. Since its August, that gives me roughly 6 months to get shit done which I believe is a decent amount of time to get many things in order if I stay consistent and disciplined.

Honestly speaking many of my goals are for superficial reasons but they are also for my health. I think goals can be for both reasons and people shouldn’t feel bad if their goals are just because they wanna look better honestly. If you’re bettering yourself in anyway and its for you then i always so go for it but sometimes the internet can be very judgmental sadly. I believe in my goals and that they will better me in many ways. I’m going to do everything in my strength to manifest them and make sure they come to life.

So what are my goals? Well theres many and in different points of my life.

First off, and my most important is mental health/selfcare. I have been having the worst year and part of that is my own depression and self-pity. I need to work on that very much. While theres no specific goal for this one per say, I want to take a bit of time everyday to help myself relax and soften my mood. This could be done in many different ways. Some of the things I plan to do is to do morning yoga/pilates, daily diary entrees in my journal, 30 or more minutes of daily readings, and hot girl walks. Also, my other goals will likely also help my mental well-being too which is a plus. Mostly tho, I know I will be in a better place mentally by the time we go on our trip. I also plan on being on social media a lot less. Comparing myself to others in different positions as me is not beneficial to me and the way I see myself. I’m opting to use social media that I feel helps me more and that would be my Pinterest, lemon8, my ipad tiktok acct, and this tumblr. I’m setting limits and getting off anytime i feel overwhelmed.

Next goal is ofc more physical health/activity. My goodness am I not well in this category. I lose breathe by walking up like three steps and it is honestly so embarrassing to me. I am young and I should not be this tired at my age. My specific goal in this aspect is that I will lose 30 lbs by the time of my trip with my friends. I know that the time frame I have set for myself is more than enough. To attain this goal I will be obviously being more physical. I have decided that I will be going to the gym 4 times a week and do cardio everyday. Ofc I will have rest days but I still plan on going on walks or doing a bit of jump rope those days. I will be weight lifting too. It is not going to be an like weightlifting weightlifting but I do believe it does help greatly in a weight loss journey. Next, I will also be changing my eating habits. While I don’t eat “bad” food, i do have bad eating habits. I miss meals or only eat once a day, or drink coffee for breakfast. I also don’t drink enough water. For me, the best way to help myself here is by cooking more at home and actually having lunches or breakfast ready for me to grab and go. I hate calorie counting so I will not be doing that as I feel it sets me back most of the time. But I will be eating intuitively, making sure i add more veggies and stop buying so much takeout. I do like planning my meals as well and I love grocery shopping.

Moving on, next goal is working on my financial things. Imma be honest, I am broke af. I work a minimum wage job and I am full-time in Uni. I also love shopping like omg. I see something cute and I need it. Realistically tho, this overconsumption is not good and I need to stop that. I have so many things that I know I do NOT need more. I don’t need clothes or shoes or bags or stationary or plushies NOTHING. I quite literally have everything I need to be content. So I will definitely start controlling my spending and make wishlist. I also recently invested in a nespresso to hopefully save some money on buying coffees. Making my own meals will also help not break the bank. I want to start saving atleast $30 per check and send it into my savings. I also want to pay off my credit cards. I think I have about $1600 in credit card debt right now and I am sure I can pay that off in no time if I set my mind to it. My method of paying it off will be taking $50 every time I get and paying that to the card with more interest while paying the minimum amount for the other card until I finish the first one. I used this method to pay off my chase card and it worked wonders so I know I can do this. This method ensures that I am atleast paying off $100 a month to one of the cards. Once I am out of card debt, I’ll have funds that are just for myself.

Lastly, we have skincare. I unfortunately have back acne and some dark spots on my face. I really need to fix that. Changing my eating habits and getting more physically active will definitely help this goal, but I also want to strictly start sticking to my skin and body routine. I do have a skincare plan that I have seen help me but I do not stay consistent. Unfortunately sometimes I don’t shower or do my skincare and it does set me back. So from now on I will be following my routines strictly. I have an app that sends me reminders of when I should be doing my routines and as annoying as the notifications will be, it will help me. That way can attain clearer and healthier skin.

Now the biggest issue is making sure I stay disciplined. Its gonna be my mind set that needs the most work. I’m helping myself by reading self-help books and listening to some very useful podcast. I am also going to do everything confidently with NO DOUBTS in my head. I don’t care what my parents or siblings are gonna say. They can suck it. Not only that but I know that all my cute besties and my sweet boyfriend are going to support me through this because they always are. They’re my rocks frfr and they help me in so many ways without even knowing it. I am going to change and I am becoming the best version of me. No one can take that away from me ever. While I plan on keeping this private, I will share this with one specific bestie cause she is the most helpful in keeping me consistent teehee.

I love myself the way I am but I know I can and will be better in every way.

08.13.23 gaby