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emberfrostlovesloki · 5 months

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Freud Said We Should Fuck [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left and Right (@shakespearesdaughters) Center (@hotchs-big-hands)

Prompt: When Aaron makes a Freudian slip on the jet, he and the reader get flushed, and later, once the case is finished, the reader finds him in his office on a lonely Saturday and teases him about it. Aka, when the reader and Hotch do something in his office other than paperwork.

Pairing: Aaron x fem BAU-reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns

Category: Fluff/angst/smut

Word Count: 9.9K

A/N: Hi loves! First off, this story is 18+, minors DNI. Please respect this boundary. I’m finally back writing again and I’m so happy about it. However, I feel like it’s going to take me a bit to get back into the swing of things. I had a lot of my AU written and then I just thought it was moving too slow. So I’ve put that on hold for a bit and gone back to what I love smut. I don’t think the sex here is the best I’ve ever written, but I still like it. This idea came about because @silk-spun and I were chatting about Aaron and office sex and I couldn’t stop thinking about it - so naturally I wrote it. Please have a look at the notes before reading as there are some things that some plot points that some readers might want to avoid. I hope you like this and if you do, likes, comments, and replies are appreciated! Content Warnings under the cut. I hope you are having a good week. Love Levi - ❤️

Content Warnings: There are two unsubs mentioned in this fic: The one most talked about is a family annihilator [There are mentions of wives and children being killed, depiction of dead bodies, description of a bloody room, mention of suicide via gun (unsub)] The second unsub kills at random [There are mentions of poisoning, falling to one’s death and drowning (the body is briefly described)] Mention of past trauma and abuse [Hotch] and the mention of an absent father. There is also sex: touching over the clothes, sex in a semi-public setting [Hotch’s office] fellatio, p in v (unprotected] Very slight dom vibes from the reader and Hotch and the slightest mention of a size kink. If I missed any, please let me know.

List with all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_c/t_ = coffee or tea (whichever you prefer)

_u/sf/d_ = up/straight forward/down (depending on height).

_s/l_ = short or long

_kl/s/m_ = knee length/short/mini (pick your favorite skirt length)

_y/f/c/s_ = your favorite color and style (bra)

_y/f/t/f_= your favorite type of food

The team sat in the jet as they moved toward Evansville Indiana. The skilled agents were bantering ideas off of each other, as they normally did. This unsub was very blatant with their modus operandi. As Aaron had debriefed in the conference room an hour earlier with the team and Garcia, he said, “The unsub we’re dealing with allegedly has three distinct personalities. Although I would be hesitant to diagnose anyone with a split personality disorder or DID. Many people with this condition are stigmatized due to the negative stereotypes associated with that name. If our unsub does have this condition, then we work from there. But with what we know now, this might just be a part of the ritual and pattern. The police are adamant that it’s a suspect from a mental hospital, but be wary of this. J.J. I want you to cut this off at the bud as soon as we get to the station. The media liaison nodded and replied, “You got it Hotch. I’ll clear that up and make sure they haven’t come up with any nicknames either. That always gets the press in a stir.” Aaron nodded. There wasn’t time for that kind of coverage right now. The team needed to jump in immediately once they touched down. This unsub had a swift turnaround time, killing in heinous and various ways almost every other night. His signature was that at the body of each victim, the unsub left a note from either the Id, the Ego, or the Superego, and by how killing his victims, the unsub had ‘cured them,’ and how the cure had worked. The killer's notes were reminiscent of Freud’s case notes, detailed and a bit deranged. The methods of death had been drowning, poisoning, being drowned, and most recently a fatal fall from a high cliff on a popular walking trail. _y/n_ had cringed at the sight of the drowned victim’s bloated body. It was blue and purple from its extended time in the water. The poisoned victim didn’t look any better. As was usual with BAU cases, the victims had suffered significantly before their deaths. _y/n_ had asked the group as a whole once the note element came out, “Is this guy serious? I mean, Freud is more infamous than famous at this point. His clients were all wealthy Swiss members of society, and he was ridiculed later in life for changing his theories all the time. I mean, how many Fruedians are still honestly out there?” Spencer happily replied, “In terms of clinical, licensed therapists? I’d say very few. Probably around 0.5 percent at this point. But that doesn’t mean that psychoanalysis isn’t still used in a good deal of therapeutic systems. I mean ‘Talk Therapy’ is the norm in most EBT therapy systems. So although Freud and Heidegger might have faded to obscurity, their theories remain.” Hotch had nodded and said stoically, “Wheels up in thirty. We can continue this discussion on the plane. If the unsub sticks to his pattern. They might have a new victim already.”

Thus the team, plus Penelope were on the plane like normal. Once the jet hit cruising altitude, the team seemed to relax a bit They all fell into their usual clusters, and Hotch observed them. _y/n_, Rossi, and Spencer were continuing the psychological aspect of the case with _y/n_, while Em, Derek, and Garcia talked about the victimology and methods of the murders. Lastly, JJ was writing up a short press brief for the police and the public. Aaron knew we could never be thankful enough for the work that JJ did for the team. She covered their backs more than he could ever imagine. It was hard enough doing the job they did, but having JJ backing them up meant they weren’t smeared in the press even more. Hotch made his way to her. He sat on the seat next to hers and looked over her work. The blond woman handed him a notebook page with her statement from the police force. She said, “This is what I’ve got so far. If you have any more legal or profiler things you’d like me to add, just note them in the margins.” The woman handed him a blue ballpoint pen, and Hotch did his best to look carefully and thoroughly over the short blurb. He added a few police procedural things, but otherwise, it looked good. Aaron pushed the paper back on the small table and said, “Looks good J. I just added a few notes. Let me know when you have the one for the public done, and look it over too.” JJ looked up at him as he stood and said, “You got it Hotch. And I’ll make those corrections after I’m done with this.” Aaron then moved to Em, Morgan, and Garcia. They were looking at a map both on the seat and on Penelope's computer. Derek and Em were pinpointing the sites of the victim's body on the physical map while Garcia did the same on her laptop. The trio was trying to make a geographic profile and also see if the sites were linked to a road, river, or some natural feature. All three victims had been found in parks or locations adjacent to parks. As Hotch looked over the map, Emily said, “Given the natural locations of the dump sites and how well-versed the unsub seems to be with local and national parks in the area, this person may be a game warden or resource officer or something like that. Those positions are often isolating and not well-paid. Maybe the unsub has emotions tied to their work. That they’re not achieving enough, or making enough of an impact?” Hotch nodded at the logic of her statement and said to Garcia, “Once you’ve done that work, Garcia, look up the databases for Park Service workers and Game Wardens and make a preliminary risk. Target those who work in the parks where the victims were found and those that have been having problems at work or have had problems at work in the last two months.” Garcia loved getting directions from Aaron. She always thought that his brain was close to hers, except that he was just the quiet version of her. She smiled and said, “Aye, aye captain. Coming right up.” Aaron gave Garcia a small smile and said, “Thanks Penelope.”

Aaron got up again. Before he moved to the last group, he was going to get a cup of coffee for himself _c/t_ for _y/n_. It was their ritual on the plane now. When they were in the office, _y/n_ got him coffee from the breakroom, and when they were on the jet, he got her drink. Aaron’s and _y/n_ relationship had moved from a strong friendship to a light romance, to, in the last six months, a much more heated and sexual affair. Of course, neither of them could say, and much less do anything while they were at work but show small gestures of affection for the other. Aaron and _y/n_ were both professional and could easily keep their relationship work-coded. That didn’t however, mean that Hotch didn’t think about the things they did off the clock. The sound of _y/n_’s bright laugh had his mind reeling back to last weekend. It had been a lazy Saturday morning at his place. She had mentioned getting a snack from the coffee shop down the street before going on a walk in the park or going to get a new book for Jack, who was currently at Haley’s. Aaron had sleepily said something like, “I think you’re enough of a snack as it is, _y/n_” as he rolled onto his back.

There was a moment of silence before _y/n_ started softly laughing. Hotch moved his eyes to her. He expected her to stop laughing after a minute, but his gaze only had her laughing more loudly. She was nearly in stitches as her mirth overflowed. Hotch, not quite sure what had caused her to be so joyful, poked her side and said, “Alright, I give up. What’s so funny? Is my breath bad or something?” Even as Hotch asked, he couldn’t stop himself from starting to laugh too. This was something unique with _y/n_. She allowed him to open up emotionally in ways that he rarely even had. After _y/n_ had caught her breath she said, “Is that your attempt at dirty talk Hotch? If so you need to take a course.” Aaron scoffed at that and said teasingly, “I’ll make you eat those words _y/n_.” As he finished that sentence, he leaned over her and kissed her. He started lightly but became more intense as _y/n_ ran her tongue over his bottom lip. Soon enough, he was undoing the buttons of her night shift and moving his mouth lazily downward with _y/n_ saying his name breathily every time he nipped her skin lightly with his mouth. His breath was hot on the cool expanse of her body. Aaron realized as he started to make the encounter more intimate and relished in how her body responded to his.

Hotch knew that apart from being with _y/n_, he was about as closed off as human could be, and he knew it. His past as a child had inherently shown him that weakness meant pain and suffering and as hard as he had tried to grow out of that, he still had some of those mental barriers up, and they often rose when he was in situations that dealt with lots of emotions. Often he found himself unable to reciprocate. That was part of the reason that he assumed that he was so good at being a prosecutor and a profiler. People’s emotions, whether they be the unsub’s or the victim’s didn’t cause him to bluster, or lose sight of the bigger picture. He was sympathetic to the victims and listened to them with sincerity, but their pain often didn’t affect him the way it did _y/n_. This was the reason that after he spoke to the various victims, he would direct them over to _y/n_ to talk further. So they could cry unabashedly and have someone to hold them tight as they did so. Often Aaron would catch her eyes as they made the silent trade-off. There was always a silent conversation that happened in these looks. It was Aaron saying, ‘Thank you,’ and _y/n_ responded, ‘I got you.’ With time Aaron had slowly started dropping those barriers with _y/n_. She made him feel more human. More intact with his emotions such as joy and the ability to do the unexpected. Things and emotions which he had hidden inside himself a long time ago. The first time that Aaron had been very open to _y/n_ was the first time that he realized that he might have deeper feelings for _y/n_ than respect or camaraderie.

It had been a difficult case. One of the worst. The unsub had been a family annihilator. The man, Mr. Platheville, was targeting young families with only one child. The madman had killed two mothers and their children leaving the fathers to watch in horror and live with the site of the massacre they had witnessed. The first man they had found was shell-shocked and unable to move. An ambulance and mental health experts had been called for him. The next man had been so angry that Hotch and Derek had to hold the man back from hitting and punching himself or the wall or anyone within striking distance. _y/n_ had watched on with apprehension, trying to calm the man down with her words. Although those two cases had been horrible, it was nothing compared to the last. The unsub had called and said where he was and that he had another family hostage. There were audible screams on the other side of the phone. Mr. Plathville had said, “Come quickly. Please. I can’t stop myself anymore.” At first, the team felt like this was a good step. A great step even. The man was giving himself up and asking for help. However, as the tapped line was about to be disconnected, a child’s voice cut in. It sounded scared and small as it said, “Daddy? What’s wrong with Mommy?” That had the whole team freeze. The realization that Plathville had his own family captive now had the team feel like the floor was dropping out from under them -- everyone’s stomach sinking into knots. Hotch dropped the phone first and softly said, “Everyone, move, now.” After a second, he found his voice and said loudly, authoritatively, “Move. Now.” Aaron started running to the van, and he watched as his team followed him to both his car and the other SUV. _y/n_ and Rossi piled into Hotch’s car and hurriedly buckled as Hotch hit the gas pedal. The rubber tires squealed and burned on the concrete. _y/n_ had snatched the passenger seat in the front. Hotch’s jaw was set in a tight grimace as he sped down the road. His driving was close to erratic. It wasn’t something _y/n_ had seen in him before. _y/n_’s eyes found Rossi’s in the review mirror. The older man also looked a bit concerned as well. Gently, _y/n_ placed a hand on Aaron’s upper arm. She could feel the muscle tight under his sleeve as his hands gripped the wheel. At her touch, Hotch’s eyes briefly left the road and met hers. Whatever expression she had on her face was enough to slow his driving speed. For him to pay closer attention to the road.

Hotch was making her nervous. He didn’t seem like himself, but she didn’t say anything. There would be time for that later. The vans came to a raging halt outside the address that Plathville had disclosed. The house seemed quiet. Eerily so. Derek and Hotch approached the door softly. Derek breached the door and the team rushed inside. The front foyer was dark and there was no sound reverberating around the open area. The team fanned out in the ranch-style house. Derek and Spencer moved to the left side of the house toward the kitchen and guest bedroom. Rossi and Emily took the upstairs, and Hotch and _y/n_ moved left toward the living room and master bedroom. The other families had been found in the living room, and _y/n_ braced herself for a similar scene. Hotch’s shoulders tensed as he moved into the entryway of the living room. It meant that this family was already dead too. _y/n_ felt a part of her break inside, but she pulled the pieces back together for the team. For those who had passed. Both agents stepped into the room. The fact that the walls, carpet, and sofa were cream-colored only highlighted the dark splatters marring the walls, couch, and carpet which was soaked with a dark stain. _y/n_ pointed to the light switch and mouthed, “Should I turn it on?” Hotch nodded his head no and inclined this head toward the bedroom door, indicating that Mr. Plathville might still be in the bedroom. It was the only space they hadn’t breached. If Plathville was still in the house either alive or dead, it was in that room. As the calls of Spencer and Emily echoed through the house stating, “Clear,” a small sound came from behind the closed door. Both agents' eyes snapped to the door, and they moved forward. Once they got to the door. Aaron held out a hand to stop her. He shook his head no. He leaned forward and whispered, “Go look at the bodies. And then stop the rest of the team from entering the living room.” _y/n_ met his dark eyes. They seemed to go on forever. He had the look he had before when the child had spoken on the phone. The same look he had had in the car. _y/n_ desperately wanted to know what was going on in his head, but again, now wasn’t the time. _y/n_ nodded and moved back from the door. She moved to the two bodies on the floor but continued to watch as Aaron opened the door, stepped inside, and said, “Mr. Plathville. Don’t do this. Do you think this is the ending your wife and daughter would have wanted for you?” Hotch closed the door behind him, leaving the room in semi-darkness. Hotch could hear soft movement from the other side of the door. It was _y/n_ and it sounded like she was crying. Aaron pushed aside the soft sounds and focused only on Plathville. The cold metal weapon the unsub was holding in his dominant hand wasn’t pointed in any direction, but it could be in an instant. Hotch didn’t want _y/n_ in the room. Because Aaron knew family annihilators, he knew them because he lived with one of them as a child. As an adult, once he learned the proper terms for killers and sadists, he realized that if he hadn’t taken the brunt of what his father doled out, his own father might have been a Plathville as well. Aaron didn’t want _y/n_ to see what might happen. He didn’t want her to see this. Hotch put up his hands and said, “Put down the gun Mr. Plathville. You’ve been a coward with how you’ve treated others because they didn’t do what you liked. Don’t be a coward now, at the end. Face what you’ve done and prove that you’re actually a man.”

The unsub, eyes dark and glazed looked like he was about to set the gun on the bed. Aaron hoped that was what he was doing, but he didn’t trust the man either. Just as the gun seemed to be safe, Plathville turned the weapon on himself. Outside the closed door, _y/n_ heard a very loud bang. A deafening sound. At this point, _y/n was standing by the hallway with Derek. Em, and Rossi. She was doing her best to keep the three other agents at bay. When the BAU team heard the gunshot, they all rushed back into the room. Derek drew his sidearm as they all did and breached the door. _y/n_’s heart pounded in her chest because she had left him alone. Alone with an unsub who they knew had a gun; and if Aaron was dead, she would never be able to forgive herself. Not for all time. As the team rushed into the room. Hotch’s strong profile stood out against the window. His nose and jawline were distinct against the streetlight that seeped light into the room through the casement window. Aaron seemed frozen on the spot and the still and bloodied body of Mr. Plathville was slumped on the bed. _y/n_ moved forward and avoided her gaze from the new body. She took Aaron’s arm and pulled him out of the room. Not just the room but the house as well. She sensed that he needed the space away from the darkness emanating from the home. The graveyard.

When they were at the side of the house opposite the bedroom, _y/n_ stopped. She looked down at his shoes, they had blood splatters on the toe. She looked _u/sf/d_ at him. His face was also splattered with blood. _y/n_ reached over, pulling the cuff of her white sleeve over her palm; she started wiping away the viscous red fluid from his sharp facial features. _y/n_ reflected for a moment on how attractive Aaron really was, with his stoicism and strong jaw, and how terrible a time it was for such thoughts to surface. _y/n_ pushed them away as Hotch seemed to come to himself, as she moved her hand to the other side of his face. The blood smears here were larger. There was other matter that _y/n_ would rather not speculate on. Aaron’s left hand raised and pushed her own dirtied sleeve away from his face. Hotch seemed to take a small breath, and he looked like a child who had been caught doing something wrong. _y/n_ wondered if it was his showing emotion out in the open that he perceived as being bad. She looked back at him before he seemingly crumpled into _y/n_’s arms. Low sobs reverberated on her shoulder. Tears staining _y/n_’s already soiled shirt. _y/n_ was grateful the police cruisers were on the other side of the house. Parked on the gravel drive. _y/n_knew that they would have to move soon or else the team would come looking for them. She was sure Hotch would not want to be found in such a compromised state.

_y/n_ didn’t know what else to say than, “I’m sorry Hotch. I know it’s sick and fucked up, but at least there’s no one else he can hurt. Not even himself.” And it was true. It burned _y/n_ that Mr. Plathville would face no consequences for his crimes of passion, but when an unsub took the end into their own hands, there was a certain finality to the matter. There would be fewer interviews and less press. There wouldn’t be a trial or the need for written testimony from everyone involved. It felt like a twisted prize for a game no one had asked to play. After a moment, Aaron replied softly, “It’s not that. Or it is that and some other stuff. I don’t know why I’m like this. I’m sorry.” _y/n_ frowned and pulled away a bit. Hotch looked at her with eyes asking, begging for her to stay. She took his right hand which was hanging limply at his side and said, “Let’s just walk down the drive and back. It will give you a moment to compose yourself. Get your thoughts in order. “Aaron seemed to hesitate and said, “But the police… the team, they might.” _y/n_ cut him off gently saying, “They can wait. The cops have plenty of people to interview and material to bag and tag. They can wait while we take a five-minute walk.

_y/n_ found that walking got people talking. Particularly if the people were not wanting to open up. The movement and change of scenery seemed to give whomever she was walking with a breather and a chance to let out some thoughts if they wanted. If they didn’t, then at least they’d both gotten some fresh air. This technique had worked with Morgan, JJ, and Em. I had not worked with Spencer, but Spencer spoke so freely all the time that if he had something he didn’t want to share, then he didn’t want to share, and she understood that. This was the first time she was trying this method on Aaron. As they made it halfway up the drive, and not so much to her shock, Hotch let out a sigh and said, “It was Jack’s birthday yesterday…” _y/n_ looked over to him briefly. His eyes were on the ground, Glued to it. She knew that wasn’t the whole issue, but _y/n_ replied, “I’m sorry you had to miss that for this mess.”

They kept walking. and Aaron let out another breath and continued, “When I see people like Plathville, I see my father. I see a bit of myself in him as well.” _y/n_ furrowed her brow and turned to look at him, walking backward, matching his pace. She didn’t know a lot about Hotch’s father apart from the fact that he was dead and had hurt Aaron very badly. Perhaps she could see a correlation there between the unsub and Hotchner Sr., but she couldn’t see how Hotch was at all like either man. She asked for clarity saying, “What do you mean? I don’t see how you’re like either of those monsters. You’re tied to your father by blood, but he’s gone.” Aaron looked at her and then back down the dark path they were on. A lone streetlamp shone at the end of the road. They reached it and turned back before Aaron said, “It’s a pattern. They were both absent fathers. They both lashed out at things and people. And look at me. I hardly see Jack. It feels like once in a blue moon. And I might not be lashing out at people because my job takes out that stress. But look at me in the office, I’m still anal about things. I just see these patterns. I don’t want to fail as a father, and I feel like I am.” And there it was. There was the crux of his emotions and _y/n_ ached for his pain, for his fear, even if it seemed unfounded to her. It certainly wasn’t unfounded to him, and she’d never say that. As they moved back toward the house. _y/n_ was wording and rewording her response again and again in her head; she couldn’t quite seem to come up with the perfect response. It all sounded too close to “I love you and other people love you too, can’t you see that?” She felt the hairs picked up on the back of her neck and she looked over to Aaron. He was staring at her, Asking for some kind of reply. They were near the house again and she stopped, and he stopped too. Now _y/n_ gave a sigh, her breath making a little cloud in front of her face. She finally replied, “Aaron, I don’t know what this is going to sound like to you, but here it is. I think you’re tired. I haven’t seen you sleep in three days straight because this case is so close to you. It’s close because it involves a group of people who can’t protect themselves, or their children. And I think in some ways after Haley filed, you think that you can’t protect her or Jack either. But Aaron, you’ve handled everything there with as much grace and compassion as you could. You did what Haley wanted and you still try and look after them. And maybe you don’t see Jack as often as you like, but you try. I hear you call him at night when the team’s away. And the stories you tell about when he spends the weekends over make it sound like you don’t just shower him with gifts or love bomb him. You’re trying to have a relationship with him. And I never hear you badmouth Haley, ever, which means your son can know that not all relationships work out but there can still be a kind of love and respect. A lot of kids don’t get that.” _y/n_ took a breath and she saw in his eyes that he was coming more to himself, as she finished stating, “And about you being like your father, yeah, genes are passed down, but I don’t believe that people are born bad. I think something bad happens to them and you either continue the cycle or break it. And you’re far too kind of a person, even if you don’t show it, to keep doing what you’re father did. You’d never do those things to another person. You’re not him Hotch. You never will be.”

_y/n_ looked at him to see what his reaction to her words would be. Aaron looked like he might cry again, but was holding back those emotions. She hoped she hadn’t overstepped some emotional or professional line, but she didn’t have time to ask as Hotch stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. His warm body enveloped her in the cold night. His breath fanned the _s/l_ hair at the nape of her neck. He whispered, “Thank you for that, _y/n_. I needed to hear that.” When Aaron pulled back, he was himself again. He nodded and motioned his head toward the house. As he attempted to move forward, _y/n_ grabbed his coat sleeve, and he looked at her confused. _y/n_ said, “Wipe the left side of your face Hotch. It’s still bloody.” Aaron rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. They both started walking back to the house, and he wiped off his face. As they walked back, there was an understanding that something deeper had happened between them. As Aaron moved past the cruisers with red and blue lights still flashing, he raised the caution tape for _y/n_, and as she stepped under it. Aaron looked at her and felt a warmth seep through him. It bit through the cold outside, and he didn’t mind it.

Aaron pulled his mind out of the haze that was focused on the sounds that _y/n_ had made last Saturday morning. Her moans and whimpers rang in his ears for a second longer. He was thankfully snapped back to the interior of the jet as a bit of turbulence rocked the aircraft. Aaron cleared his throat and moved to the coffee maker. He made himself a cup of black coffee first. He shot a prayer up to any possible deity up there that his body and mind had not synced enough for him to be aroused by his mind's inappropriate wandering. Having to hide an erection wasn’t his idea of a fun time. It had happened once or twice before and he had to rush to the bathroom and splash cold water on his face and neck. When Hotch’s cup was done, he moved another clean styrofoam cup under the dispenser and started making _y/n_’s _t/c_. He stifled a yawn. He had spent much of the last two days working on field reports and revising the FBI’s security training. It was woefully behind the times. He had coordinated with Penelope and as helpful as Garcia was in terms of the technological aspects of cyber security, the lingo and Pen’s energy had worn him out a bit. The Keurig beeped, indicating _y/n_’s drink was done. He doctored the beverage as she liked. Aaron half blamed his wandering mind on his lack of sleep and the case. Spencer’s clear voice cut through all the others and he was talking about the more interesting sexual elements of Freud’s theories including the more lurid Oedipus and Xena complexes. Reid was going on about how the notes from the unsub seemed to really dive into those theories even though there was no sexual aspect to the case yet. Hotch grabbed _y/n_’s cup and moved back to the final group he had not spoken with yet.

He sat next to _y/n_ and handed her her cup. _y/n_ looked at Hotch and gave him a small smile before taking a sip of her drink. _y/n_ had a random thought, as she mulled over the bizarre nature of the case. She said aloud, “What do you think Freud would think about people using his theories like this? I mean he was odd and problematic, but not that odd.” Aaron had his eyes closed, and he replied without even thinking said, “I think Freud would say we should fuck.” _y/n_ nearly spat out her drink. The liquid burned her throat as it went down. Hotch caught his mistake and flushed, quickly amending his statement saying, “I mean if Freud were still here, he would probably think the unsub would want to have intercourse with his victims. It could either be latent sexual attraction or transference of sexual desire for an authority figure like a parent or teacher. An attraction that shouldn’t be acted out.” Hotch could feel his ears burning, and he hid his face by taking a long drink of his coffee. The dark liquid burned his mouth but this pain was better than having to face to look of utter shock of his friends. Thankfully the awkwardness only lasted a second longer as Spencer picked up on his hurried line of thinking saying, “You could be right. This unsub might be impotent and killing as a means of sexual release. Or they could be killing as a displacement tactic for unwanted feelings.” Reid jumped into that conversation with a fervor and _y/n_ added her thoughts in too along with taking some notes on the comments Spence made.

Although Spencer didn’t choose to comment on what Hotch had said, when the Unit Chief looked over at Rossi, his friend had an eyebrow raised and an expression that said, “Really, Aaron?” Hotch closed his eyes, sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyelids as if saying, “I’m tired. Alright?” When Aaron opened his eyes again, Rossi just gave a little shrug as if saying, “Hey. I have three ex-wives. I’m not one to judge.” The older man ever so slightly looked over to _y/n_ and gave a small smile. The team knew that Hotch was seeing _y/n_. They were all too perceptive not to tell. But what he had just said was more personal than the team needed to know. At least not yet. Aaron liked keeping his private life private, and he would have to apologize to _y/n_ for putting their personal business out there like that. He was just thankful that he had made that slip of the tongue in front of Spencer and Dave and not Morgan and Garcia. There would be no end to the gossip if that had been the case. Aaron sat back in his seat and did his best to put back on the Unit Chief facade. One great thing was that he was able to compartmentalize his emotions and what had just happened was just a blunder. He fell easily back into the conversation and made himself useful to the team.

The case was a wild one with the team being kept on their feet, as the unsub devolved into crazier and more complex kills. Thankfully the unsub, one Kathy Kittery got sloppy as her mind crumbled under the weight of her own brain. Thus, only one other victim was lost, the others, though traumatized would make it through the ordeal. Ms. Kittery was a therapist who had had her license revoked after having an affair with a client. Once she had taken that blow, she had moved to a second career that had always interested her. Being a Ranger in a State Park. However, as it turned out, the mental isolation did not help with her already troubled state and she had slipped into acting on her delusions, thus the need for the team to come in the first place. After the unsub had been arrested, the team, as normal, was assured that she wouldn’t be seeing freedom for a good long while. On the jet home, Aaron’s sexual comment was almost forgotten by everyone, including himself, but _y/n_ remembered and as she closed her eyes to sleep on the short flight back, her brain played out certain scenarios that she also wouldn’t want to be voiced in front of the others. When the jet touched down, the team disembarked and _y/n_ asked Aaron as they walked back to the main office, “So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Tomorrow was Saturday and she hoped that they could spend the day together or with Jack if he was staying over at Hotch’s that weekend. It felt like a while since they had had a good day to themselves. Work had piled up, and she longed for just a few solid hours with Aaron. Hotch, however, didn’t seem to pick up on her tone as he was tired. He replied in a monotone, “Probably filling out paperwork in the office I’m behind on like three cases worth and this makes a fourth.” _y/n_ pouted slightly. She knew she was being silly, but sometimes Aaron needed a break for his own good, and an idea started brewing in the back of her mind. If she had the nerve to do even half of what her head was cooking up, she would have done something she had been imagining for a long time. Longer than was appropriate probably. For the moment she just said, “Mhm. Sounds productive.” Hotch scoffed as they both entered the sliding glass door. Even he knew his life, and particularly weekends sounded miserable sometimes. After all, he was the one that put him through them.

The next afternoon, _y/n_ pulled up to the Quantico field office. She parked her car next to Aaron’s and set her employee parking pass on the dash so it could be seen by security. _y/n_ chuckled remembering the one time that Derek had forgotten his pass and had his Corvette towed on a Saturday. Her athletic friend had been so flustered, saying, “Oh come on! I work at the freaking FBI you’d think there would be some camera’s in this lot and they’d know I work here!” _y/n_ had laughed, patted his shoulder, and offered him a ride to the impound lot to pick up his flashy car. As _y/n_ moved through the mostly empty lot she smiled. Not that she expected there to be a lot of people at the office on a Saturday afternoon, but it boded well for what she had in mind. As entered the office and was waived through security quickly, she hadn’t brought her gun or anything important with her. She entered the bullpen and looked up at Hotch’s office. His lights were on and she could see him looking at something on his desk. It was most likely a field report. The bullpen was empty and most of the lamps on the desks were off. One or two burned brightly in the soft space. One or two of the agents must have forgotten to turn them off in the rush to get home on Friday. She turned off the lamps as she texted Aaron, “Hey, you at the office?” She looked up at his office window and his head turned to the side. Clearly, he had just received her message. His left hand raised and a second later her phone beeped. Hotch had sent back a simple “Yes.” He was never one to be overly elaborate over text. If he was forced to type more than one full paragraph he would just give up and call instead. _y/n_ always chalked it up to his hands being too big for the small phone screen. He probably made a lot of accidental typos with his thumbs and had to go back and correct them which seemed like a thing that would annoy him to no end, even if he did have autocorrect on his phone. _y/n_ took a breath as she looked at Aaron again. He was back to his paper. _y/n_ had jokingly said she would do this if the spirit led her, but somehow seemed like the dirty things she was picturing in her head were driving her up the stairs and not ‘the spirit.’ Outside Hotch’s door, she knocked once and then turned the knob. She stepped into the dimly lit room and closed the door behind her. She softly said, “Hey Hotch, how are the papers going?” Aaron looked up from his desk. He did a bit of a double take as his eyes flicked to his phone and then back to her. His eyes held a hint of surprise, warmth, and general confusion as he said, “_y/n_. What are you doing here? Do you need something?” _y/n_ couldn’t help but flush already. Hotch was just too cute sometimes; especially when he wasn’t trying.

_y/n_ smiled at him and took a seat across from him at his desk. _y/n_ sighed and said, “I was just bored I guess. I had nothing better to do, so why not give you a hand with your paperwork? Maybe I can get you out of here earlier than five p.m. on a Saturday?” Aaron raised a brow. He highly doubted that that was _y/n_’s only reason for being here, but he wouldn’t question her. Instead, he picked up a case file, and set it in front of her saying, “Suit yourself, love.” _y/n_ flushed again and pulled one of Aaron’s ballpoint pens out of the cup he kept a stash in. _y/n_ wondered how many pens he dried up per year, but wasn’t in the mood for calculus problems right now. Instead, she opened the file and started working on the first page. She had to take it for at least ten minutes before she made a move. _y/n_ assumed if she outright said, “Hey wanna have sex in your office there would be two simultaneous outcomes. The first was that she would no longer be Aaron Hotchner’s partner and that she would be a former FBI Behavioral Analyst. Neither of which sounded very appealing. So she took her time.

When Aaron seemed absorbed in his work again, she slipped off her shoe and moved her foot across the space between her side of the desk and his. It was a bit of a reach, but she managed to brush Aaron’s ankle and the inside of his trouser leg. That did it and Aaron’s eyes snapped to hers. They were dark, hiding emotions that he often kept at bay. He cleared his throat and said, “_y/n_, really?” You chuckled and said, “Sorry. I just like to see you flustered.” _y/n_ pulled her leg back and Aaron watched as she flushed but returned to her papers. _y/n_ knew he liked it when she was a tease sometimes and that was her plan for this potentially risky act she was trying to have with Hotch. After another ten minutes, _y/n_ repeated the same action, except this time she moved her foot higher up his leg She applied gentle pressure to the inside of his leg. His grey trousers were cool under her foot as they moved up past the knee and onto his inner thigh. Her dark stockings were the only barrier between her skin and the fabric of his pants. _y/n_ looked up at him and he let out a soft breath as if his brain hadn’t caught up with his body yet. When the two entities of mind of body did collide his brows furrowed trying to reconcile the pleasure coursing through his body and the fact that this shouldn’t be happening in his office.

Before he could make any protestation, _y/n_ cut him off saying, “So, ‘Freud said we should fuck’ did he?” This reminder of his slip of the tongue gagged Aaron momentarily. It gave _y/n_ enough time to shift lower in her chair and slip her foot high enough to press over his crotch. Aaron let out a little grunt at the contact. _y/n_ continued to run her foot over his zipper, up and down in a rhythmic pattern. _y/n_ smiled as his eyes grew hazy with desire. A look she’d seen on him often, just not in his office. Never in his office. But she had dreamed about it plenty. She’d woken soaked on occasions with the notion of Aaron having her in his office, blinds drawn tight as they made love in the enclosed space. Aaron stuttered trying to make a coherent sentence, but his cock slowly hardening in his pants was not helping him at all. _y/n_ could feel it under her foot and continued to tease him saying, “You know you really shouldn’t make comments about our sex lives in front of a team of profilers. I think you owe me an apology?” _y/n_ pulled her foot away and Aaron groaned at the loss of contact, but suddenly his mind was more clear. Half of Aaron’s brain cursed _y/n_ for knowing just the right way to turn him on. The other half was already imagining her splayed out on his desk as he ate her out, or pounded into her so hard that the desk left marks on her hips. Those thoughts alone had his member twitch against his belt and fly. To consumed in his thoughts, Aaron slipped off his own left shoe, and perhaps more gently than _y/n_ had, he moved his foot up her leg and to her cunt. _y/n_ opened her legs for him slightly pushing her _kl/s/m_ length skirt up a bit. Even wearing socks, Aaron could tell that _y/n_ was wet. The moan she made as he just brushed over her sex and him realize that he couldn’t wait. That he needed her, now. Hotch took away his foot and reveled in the needy noise _y/n_ also made at the lack of contact. Hotch moved quickly to his door, locking it from the inside before closing the shades to the office. His movements were hasty, jerky even. _y/n_ watched him, knowing the sexual tension must have built up since the last time they had been intimate.

_y/n_ wasn’t sure what Aaron had in mind but she did have to ask, “There aren’t any hidden cameras in here, right?” Hotch chuckled, the sound was throaty, and he replied, “Not that I know of. And if they are, then at least we’ll both be fired.” _y/n_ laughed at this and took his hand; she led him back to his office chair. _y/n_ appreciated that he had a sense of humor in these moments that were new to him. _y/n_ knew that she pushed him to do things he hadn’t before both in and out of the bedroom, but he never complained and the bulge in his pants told her that he was already looking forward to what she was about to do for him. Aaron looked up at her a bit amazed at the things she could make him do. Never in his life had he thought he would be able to act out his fantasy. _y/n_ leaned down and kissed him softly at first and then with more hunger and ferocity. Aaron reciprocated in turn. As their lips looked in a passionate heated kiss, _y/n_ moved her hands to the belt that kept his trousers in place over his trim hips. It wasn’t as hard as _y/n_ had imagined taking off his belt without looking. The cool metal of the clasp heated against your skin. You moved to his pant’s button and zipper next. _y/n_ didn’t want to wait around anymore and once his grey briefs and thick arousal were freed, _y/n_ started palming his erection with a steady hand. Once her hand started stroking him, Aaron let out a gasp. He opened his mouth enough for her to slip her tongue into his mouth. He breathed in her throat and had her make a small contented noise as she explored the well-known concaves of his mouth. _y/n_ would never consider herself a sex expert, but when it came to new positions or scenarios with intimacy and Hotch, she often found it helpful if she took the lead. Warming him up to the idea. Making him feel comfortable and safe before they kept doing whatever it was they were trying. Oftentimes Aaron would jump on board and take the reigns, which she adored. She loved it when he told her what to do, how to lie. Everything. It was one of Aaron’s most attractive traits.

_y/n_ pulled her mouth away from his and wrapped her hand around his cock, more steadily pumping his length. Aaron said her name as he started moving his hips to meet her pace. His body responded to her touch. _y/n_ smiled at him and moved away for a moment, pushing his chair back enough for her to kneel under his desk. Aaron pushed his hips up and let _y/n_ pull his pants down, exposing his cock to the cold air. Hotch took a few steadying breaths. He knew what was to come, _y/n_ gave some of the best head that he had ever had and the anticipation of her lips on her member had him panting already. He said, “Can you not kneel all the way down like that, love? I want to touch you while you’re dining me?” _y/n_ smiled, relishing the fact that he was already taking a small amount of control of the situation. She nodded and said, “Of course Aaron, anything you ask.” With his request in mind, _y/n_ got up on her knees. It was helpful because she needed the reach to be able to lean over and take his tip in her mouth. She swirled her tongue over the top and slit, sucking at it like some rare candy. Hotch groaned as she moved her head down his length slightly. _y/n_ took in his width and length with surprising ease. He was always surprised by her ability to take him. It only made her more attractive to him. As his head swam with pleasure and endorphins, he moved his own body forward and down a little. His head almost rested on her shoulder as he moved his long arm to feel between her legs and upper thighs. He slid his hand down and over between her skirt. As he started rubbing her clothed sex, _y/n_ moaned over his cock. She took a second before she kept moving her head further down him. Her mouth and tongue doing things to him that almost made him see stars. His left hand kept massaging her wet, clothed folds while his right pushed up her shift and kneaded her breasts in turn over her _y/f/c/a/s_ bra. Aaron could feel her nipples grow rigid under her bra and he moved his hand under the intimate article of clothing that covered her chest. He squeezed her right breast and squeezed her nipple. As _y/n_ started moving her head up and down his whole length, Aaron matched her pace with his hand on her clit, pushing and pulling sensations out of her. It turned out Hotch was so aroused, so excited that he kept moving his hand faster over her sex and clit, and _y/n_ kept up her own pace. Aaron panted and tipped his head back as he released some precome and she moved off him sucking it off of him. As she moved to take him in her mouth again, Aaron stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. _y/n_’s mind and body were also hazy with desire. Her entrance ached to be filled by Hotch more fully. His hand was amazing, but nothing beat him seating himself in her fully and then fucking her to the heavens.

Aaron could see this desire in her. A desire for him alone. Aaron pulled her onto shaky feet. He stood as well. He kissed her again, the beginning of stubble running over her chin and jaw. He pushed his pants and briefs fully off his legs and undid the side zipper of her skirt. He let it fall onto the beige carpet. He pulled back from her mouth and slipped his hands at the elastic of her stockings. He was too impatient to pull them down gingerly. Instead, he used just a bit of his strength to rip them down the center seam. _y/n_ let out an exhalation of breath. She knew it was going to get good now. Not that it hadn’t been good before, but she knew that it could get even better than his thumb and middle finger rubbing against her sex and clit. Aaron looked at her panties and noticed how they matched her bra. He murmured, “You had this all planned, didn’t you, you little devil?” _y/n_ gave him a wink and said, “Maybe just a little. You mad about it?” Hotch let out a little throaty growl and slipped his fingers under the band of her underwear. When they were on the floor, he moved to the desk. He pushed his files to the side along with the batch that _y/n_ had been working so diligently on a few minutes ago. He might desperately want to bend her over his desk, but he wasn’t so stupid to waste three good hours of work by having his files fly all over the place while he fucked _y/n_.

Once the forms were safely on the other side of the desk, Aaron grabbed her hips, turned her body 180 degrees, and then pressed her upper body flush to the hard dark wood of his desk. Hotch had unbuttoned her shirt and her skin felt cool against Hotch’s desk. She anticipated Aaron’s next move as he moved behind her slowly. Hotch pumped his throbbing length once or twice to ready himself. Another bead of precum moved to his tip and he wet his member with it. Even if he was ready and _y/n_ was ready, some of her wetness was even dripping down her thigh, Hotch was going to tease her still, as she had teased him. Aaron moved right next to her and slid his cock up and down her entrance, slightly pressing at the space that was begging for him. Aaron used his left hand to stroke over her weeping sex and _y/n_ moaned saying, “A-aron. Please. Please fuck me. Oh god.” Aaron looked at his length now coated in his and _y/n_’s excitement. It didn’t take more than her words for him to press himself into her fully with a measured thrust. _y/n_ let her out a breath and Hotch could feel her body press into the side of the desk. Aaron pulled out and pressed in again. _y/n_ let out a whimper and there was a slight squelching sound and he began to move in and out of her more quickly. Aaron's thick cock filled her fully and Hotch watched as he pushed in and out of her building his speed. The veins of his length ribbed her insides and _y/n_ almost let her feet go from under her, the desk and Aaron holding up her weight as he kept pressing into her with a relentless pace. _y/n_ could feel him fill her fully, pressing his whole member deep inside her. Aaron knew just how to move his hips to hit her sweet spot and she was panting and babbling in under a minute. Aaron moved one hand to her mouth whispering, “Shhh, now. We wouldn’t want to get caught, now would we?” _y/n_ wanted to protest and say, ‘You know no one is out there, Hotch,’ but her head was so full of lust, desire, and longing to let go. Aaron’s movements had her desire building and she knew Aaron could feel it too. Hotch picked up the pace, rapidly thrusting into her. He moved his left hand to her clit and let go of her mouth so she could let out a litany of sounds. As he kept his fast pace and circled her clit, her body pushed roughly against his desk with every thrust, she whimpered, “I...I’m gonna come, Aaron.” Hotch smiled and leaned down so his chest was flush with her back. His hand on her outer erogenous zone moved quickly and _y/n_’s walls fluttered and then contracted against his cock. _y/n_ cried out and let go of everything, letting the pure bliss of her orgasm overcome her. The sounds of her release had Aaron climax as well. He groaned as he pushed into her a few more times as he let his spent his ejaculation into her. Their shared sounds of pleasure filled the room and Aaron considered how this was better than he could have ever imagined. _y/n_ though spent, felt the same way.

Hotch took a moment to catch his breath and after a minute he let out a contented sigh. He pulled out of _y/n_ gently. As _y/n_ similarly let out a hum of happiness. She loved the way he was so gentle with her at the end of their intimate encounters. Aaron helped her stand and led her to the couch at the side of the room. Neither exactly felt like saying anything in the soft afterglow of their shared experience. Aaron had her sit on the couch and pulled moved back to his desk. He opened the left drawer and pulled out a pocket square that he rarely wore. He found the linen handkerchiefs too formal and stuffy. And as someone who came off as formal and stuffy already, he didn’t need a fashion accessory to add to the impression. But now, the fabric would come in handy. Aaron walked back to the couch with the confidence of a man who had performed very well. _y/n_ would have laughed at his cockiness if he wasn’t so damn good at sex. The first they had done it, she was so tight that it would have hurt if he hadn’t helped prep her very well. Now he fit her perfectly and he knew it.

She smiled lazily at him as he knelt down and gently cleaned her up. He loved her, but if his or her release started staging his furniture, it might lead to awkward conversations later. When he was done cleaning her body, he wiped himself. He raised his head and said, “Was that everything you wanted darling? You did very well by the way. You felt so good for me. I hope I was the same for you?” _y/n_ beamed and said, “It was everything I wanted and more. Thanks for indulging me. Aar. But I do think you should get out of this office. Being cramped up in here isn’t good for you mentally, sexually, or physically. So what do you say we get out of here and get an early dinner and watch a Christmas movie at my place, huh?” Aaron chuckled and folded the soiled handkerchief to the clean side facing out. He put it in his pocket and smoothed down his now very crumpled shirt. He grabbed his pants and underwear along with _y/n_’s skirt and panties. He tossed them over to her and they both changed. As Aaron zipped up his pants, he said, “Sounds like I good plan. These papers can wait till Monday morning.” Somehow _y/n_ always seemed to know what he needed, and he wasn’t going to fight her on it now. Not after what they’d just done. As _y/n_ put her clothes back on, he paced his briefcase and packed _y/n_’s ripped tights inside with his other work. He wouldn’t just throw those away in the trash by the door. As he did this, _y/n_ moved behind him and gave him a hug saying softly, “You know I really liked those tights, so I expect a replacement stat, mister.” Hotch chuckled and said, “You got it, _y/n_, but you know I couldn’t help myself. Not when you tease me like that.” There was a shared laughter as Aaron turned off his lamp, grabbed his and _y/n_’s bag, and opened the door for both of them. He locked the door to his office behind him and trailed _y/n_. He had suddenly grown an appetite and asked, “So, what type of food are you feeling.” _y/n_ thought about it as they descended the stairs. She took his hand and said, “How about _y/f/t/f_?” Aaron smiled and said, “Sounds great!” _y/n_ rested her head against Aaorn’s shoulder and contemplated how lucky she was for him, and for Freudian slips.

______________________________________________________________

Tag list: @geminitapestry @tgskitten @criminalskies

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aaronsinferno · 6 months

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DOOM PATROL FINALE:

Just finished the series finale and while it’s nothing like how I expected it to end…I’m okay with it.

Larry finally letting go of that fear and self loathing to go and find peace with Rama was a long time coming. Why did they have to turn into an alien chemical sun? Idk. But at least they’re together and happy.

Vic finally found himself and has finally come to terms with who he is. He’s more than just a hero. He’s an influence and will go on to inspire so many people and make way for a better future.

I like how despite everything, Laura is still such a flawed character. They didn’t magically fix her or make her do a complete turnaround. She wants to be good but fears that there’s still something dark inside her making her incapable of being anything other than evil. But it’s nice knowing that she’s going to try. That Rita and the others have made some form of impact on her life.

Speaking of Rita, her death didn’t catch me by surprise. I figured she’s either bounce back last minute or get the boot. And as shitty as her send off was, it was very on brand. I’m just happy she found peace with someone… even if it was Malcolm.

Glad Jane is able to live whatever life she wants now. How she’ll do it in space idk, but at least she’s happy. It does suck that she didn’t end up with Shelly, but I don’t exactly hate her with Casey. Her goodbye with Cliff is what I thought would break me. That or how she painted their first meeting back in season 1. Boy was I wrong.

What hit me the hardest was Cliff. That ending?That fucking ending?!? Jesus christ. Wow. Very fitting that the show begins and ends with him. He finally got to spend his final moments with his daughter and grandson while at the same time not missing any of the pivotal moments in their lives. The good or the bad. A bittersweet send off to a flawed but loving character.

Really gonna miss these characters..

Like it or not, community matters. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you enough to even attempt to understand or support you is important. Find your people.

Also

You’re deserving of love. From others but most importantly from yourself. Love yourself. Always.

#doom patrol finale #doom patrol #doompatroledit #Cliff Steele #crazy jane #larry trainor #rita farr #madame rouge #vic stone #brendan fraser #diane guerrero #april bowlby #joivan wade #matt bomer #Michell Gomez #laura de mille #kay challis #dc #dc comics

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moonyinpisces · 14 days

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🕊️ good omens drabbles for eSims

eSims for Gaza is facing constant eSim shortages, and has asked that people spread the donation information to their communities and urge people to contribute however they can. i know i'm in a place of privilege to be writing at all, let alone writing biblical stories set in an area that is currently undergoing an active genocide by an invading regime. so:

for the entirety of hdwtotl's runtime, if you message/send me an ask with proof that you've bought an eSim that same day, i will write you a 668 word good omens drabble of any prompt you'd like.

donation of equivalent or greater value to any palestinian-verified organization or gofundme also applies. make sure to follow the instructions found in the qr code below when purchasing an eSim. when you send your screenshot you can block out personal identifying information, all i need is proof that it was purchased that same day. as for the drabble, aziraphale/crowley pairings only (if you'd like romance), all ratings welcome, and the only stipulation is no death/gore/hard kink. hdwtotl-related prompts also welcomed. i will privately respond to your ask once the drabble is complete and posted to ao3, since it will have to be sent off of anon to include the screenshot proof.

all drabbles will be tracked and published to this drabble collection on ao3. there is no promised turnaround time, but the drabble itself is guaranteed. please let me know in your ask if you'd like to be tagged/remain anonymous/who to associate the prompt with.

reblogs encouraged!

#good omens #good omens fic #palestine #gaza #esims for gaza #moonyinpisces writes #ineffable husbands

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milder-manners · 8 days

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Which challenge was your favorite from Dream? (I'd say bar manhunt but maybe it's actually not your n°1)

I personnaly really liked the random item challenge and the death swap

- V

(Manhunt is def my n1, don't worry I'm pretty standard)

My non-manhunt favorites change pretty often but at the moment ...

THESE TWO!!!

Minecraft Random Item Challenge VS 2 Hunters my Beloved!!

Like you V, I fricking love this video. The Drama, the unintentional thematic items, the situational comedy, (the story fic potential)!!

The video starts off with pretty standard stakes, Sapnap and George vs Dream. An unfair match, but no one’s upset, the audience knows how easily Dream can turn the tables if the circumstances turn juuust right. And despite what the title says, Dream is a Hunter like Sapnap and George. They all only have one life, and are fighting to the death.

But then, not even 5 min in, the power levels get completely skewed. George and Sapnap both receive diamond weapons and George gets a diamond chestplate, and Dream gets his iconic turtle helmet. Suddenly, the fight becomes a chase, and Dream has to run for his life until a new item spawns in to even the tides. (He finds a ruined portal underwater, and inside its chest is a flint and steel.)

Dream then gets some good armor and a trident, and the dynamics change once again.

The video kind of takes a turn for the comedic here. It’s a 2v1, yet Dream becomes the aggressor. He’s starts initiating fights, the one who chases down Sapnap and George with his dozen tridents, and it’s the duo who begins running off, building up a tower to get away. And this goes on even when George gets netherite boots and chest plates, and Sapnap gets an elytra and rockets; they still mostly engage in guerrilla tactics to basically harass Dream. Dream literally begins yelling at them to come here and fight him.

And that tickles me so much because this is basically a culmination of how the manhunts conditioned George and Sapnap to treat Dream; a guy who’ll prevail against all odds.

And this over precaution is what ultimately does them in in the end. It gave Dream enough time and space to prepare a TNT trap that kills them all.

Man, it’s such a fun video. I didn’t even mention all the little moments between everyone, like “OH GEORGE” “IT’S OH SAPNAP!”, “You have better stuff than us” “Pff—how?”, “George, I know you can’t drive but you need to do a u-turn baby”; and how the items eventually gained a theme with each hunter, creating a pseudo narrative of a sky spirit and rock/metal spirit harassing a sea spirit. It’s such a good mix of tense competition, and silly fun.

Minecraft Hostage Simulator

Another 2v1 video but also a muffinteers video! This one is such a classic for me, I genuinely hope they revisit this one.

The gradual development of Bad becoming a complete menace. The long trek of the horn passing between George and Sapnap and eventually to Bad. That hilarious point in the Nether where the two beat the shit out of Bad while he hangs off the cliff as retaliation. Dream embracing his inner trickster archetype, setting a deal with Bad with specific conditions to loophole around them. Sapnap and George pulling off that incredible boat trick and snatching Bad from Dream. Dream getting murdered by dolphins, a complete turnaround from their usual grace. The dynamic shifting midway in the video to a 3v1 when the Hunters decide to work together to Get Bad.

And that epic fight/chase after the Nether!!! Oh My God!!

The improvisation, the lying, the music with the chase, the buildup of tension from the editing! The sudden introduction of the reason behind Bad being a hostage was that he’s a sacrifice to feed the dragon?!?! Chefs kiss. Incredible ten out of ten.

Again, I hope this video comes back but with a way for Bad to win. He was literally the star of this show.

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tervaneula · 11 months

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Hi! I'm Terv, welcome to my blog!

How to turn off "Best stuff first" so you'll actually see my posts

Here's some handy-dandy info about my stuff. Might heavily edit this later because I'm nitpicky like that lmao, but anyway, here we go!

Art tag: tervdraws Writing tag: tervdrabbles Personal tag: it's terv

Leonardo/Usagi tag: leoichi

AO3: katterv Pillowfort: tervaneula Bluesky: tervaneula

Commissions: Closed Ko-Fi: tervaneula Redbubble: tervaneula

❌ Do not repost or edit my art and writing! ❌

A little piece about fandom etiquette

My blog is a tcest & apritello & aprileo free zone.

Latest NQK update

Chapter 15: Bonds

A list of my ROTTMNT related fics under the cut. Most of them are illustrated! 💜

General [9/?]

help me believe (that i'm your brother) (G)

The road to recovery has been long but finally, the brothers are well enough to introduce Future Boy to one of the most comforting of habits - the turtle pile. Unfortunately, Casey has some doubts about his place in their family.

please don't be a hero (again) (G) (part 1 of a series)

Donatello needs his coffee. Leonardo finds him first.

lean on me (i'm strong enough) (G) (part 2 of a series)

Leonardo needs to get better, be better. If not for himself, then for Michelangelo - his baby brother shouldn't worry about him as much as he does.

you make me proud, little brother (G) (part 3 of a series)

Raphael worries and Leo's quip goes wrong. However, it leads to an emotional turnaround neither of them saw coming.

a lesson in trust (G)

Leo feels guilty for getting Raph caught by the Krang and refuses to let go of that burden. His big brother isn't having it anymore.

not quite kintsugi, but close (G) (ongoing)

The plan is simple. If all else fails, Michelangelo will make a time gateway for Casey to undo what Leonardo, in his youthful arrogance, started all those years ago; it will require sacrifice, but they are ready for it. Until the moment comes, of course. Or, in other words - what if Future Leonardo and Michelangelo both end up in the present with Casey? Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery") is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. (Wikipedia)

repeat until death (T) (Major Character Death)

A companion piece to Chapter 7 of not quite kintsugi, but close. Leonardo doesn't want to let go. In the end, as long as Donatello is concerned, he never did.

Cold Feet (G)

Leonardo is enjoying his lazy morning… until a certain human teenager disrupts his peace.

some boys do lay eggs (T)

Leonardo is just about to fall asleep when the weight of a body thuds against the side of his bed, startling him awake, but not awake enough to shake him out of the heaviness of near slumber. “Whassit,” he mumbles, sticking his hand out from his blankets and feeling about until his fingers touch the edge of a hard shell. Ah, he recognises the shape – it’s Leo. “...are we boys?”

sleepless (G)

Leo is so, so tired and goes to his dad. Splinter thinks up a plan to put into motion in the morning - but it seems that he's already helping.

Leoichi (Rise x Usagi Chronicles) [6/?]

with friends like these (G) (part 2 of a series)

Meeting up with his old friends and introducing his new boyfriend to them certainly hadn't been in Yuichi's plans for the day - but it turns out to have been a welcome surprise later when it helps him realise something important about his own feelings.

make your home in me (E) (part 4 of a series)

Click the link to read the summary!

world's end boyfriend (T) (AU)

Leonardo lost Yuichi to the apocalypse almost exactly five years ago. It's now been a year since he, Michelangelo and Casey made their impossible portal trip to the present day, successfully preventing the Krang invasion this time - so imagine Leonardo's surprise when his little brother tells him that they're going to rescue his mate. They only have one chance.

and just like that (T) (ongoing) (part 1 of a series)

What was supposed to be a simple shopping trip to the Hidden City turns into an embodiment of a romcom when Leonardo runs into an unfamiliar white rabbit. Or more accurately, the rabbit's dining table.

soft bunny, warm bunny, little ball of— uh oh (G) (part 3 of a series)

Leonardo feels so lucky. He has the world's softest boyfriend who doesn't mind being treated like a giant teddy bear! Too bad it made him forget something very important.

breathe (and let go) (M) (part 5 of a series)

Leonardo needs a break from his… everything, and Yuichi is always more than happy to indulge him.

cracks never healed (they can heal now) (T)

Their plans for a nice date go awry when Leonardo and Yuichi run into a giant rampaging robot. It's swiftly dealt with, but not without a price.

well worth the wait (G)

Hana has been worried about her adoptive father's new relationship. Yuichi puts those worries to rest.

And that's it! For now. <3

#it's terv #tervdraws #tervdrabbles #rottmnt #usagi chronicles #leoichi #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction

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eddiessluttywaist · 1 year

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as if (part 4 based on angst ending)

AGELESS/BLANK/UNDER 18 BLOGS ARE NOT WELCOME TO INTERACT. PLEASE RESPECT MY RULES AND BOUNDARIES

summary: continuation of the angst ending of as if, moves away from how eddie has been acting just so you know 👀

pairing: ex-bully!mean!perv!soft!eddie munson x fem reader

word count: 10,964 words

content/warnings: swearing, mentions of smutty content MDNI (y/n is 18/19), bully!eddie, mean!eddie, perv!eddie, brief threats and violence, rejection, angsttt, depression, very brief mention of unhealthy eating habits, heartbreak, yearning, anxiety, arguing, crying, near death experience, regret, isolation and loneliness. i think that’s all pls tell me if i miss anything!

a/n: i’m sorry this took me so long skbvdjkk enjoy the suffering. credit to whoever owns/posted that picture ^ it’s not mine :)

part one - part two - start of part three - angst ending to part three

Eddie Munson is an asshole.

He’s a cruel heartbreaker, that’s for sure. He’s selfish. He’s mean. He’s smug. He’s ruined love for you.

As much as that sentiment reeked of teenage melodrama, it’s still true. He’s ruined mean guys for you cause you know what to expect from them, and he’s ruined sweet guys for you cause you know better than to know what to expect. Eddie is someone who finds a way to be so sweet and charming for that subtle kind of control, just to turn out to be an asshole through and through. Every nicety and moment of tenderness was only to keep you on the hook for a good fuck; and if things hadn’t spiraled into an apocalyptic shitshow, he would’ve been the one and only reason for your aching misery.

He’s a lot of things. You could go through a list of adjectives that would make your mother gasp and cross herself.

He’s a life ruiner in so many ways—but he isn’t a killer.

Despite how he treated you, you liked to think you still had a good sense of his heart—even if he refused to give it to you the way you would’ve so readily given him yours. He’s smug and rotten, but murder is not something he’s capable of. Some violence? Probably. Maybe. Given the right circumstances. But he wouldn’t kill someone. So you were one of the few who weren’t surprised when news came out that he wasn’t to blame for everything that happened. Sure, there were still plenty of kooks who remained certain that he used his “ties with Satan” to open up a portal to Hell, but as more and more came out about that lab near the quarry—the rarer those types became.

By now nearly everyone’s forgotten about him, or at least that’s how it felt to you. No one talked about him—they didn’t even seem to think about him—but not you. Despite everything, his memory seemed to live on in your head. On repeat some days.

Just to clarify: he didn’t die. His memory didn’t need to be kept alive because he wasn’t—he was pretty damn close when he was found (at least from what you’ve heard), but he wasn’t dead. However, that didn’t change the fact that the people of Hawkins liked to act like he was. He was nowhere to be found for starters, and everyone left in town seemed to appreciate things that way so they didn’t have to address him.

The turnaround was baffling to you. How his name never even came up, and when it did people grew uncomfortable and tried to turn the conversation elsewhere. Even you—someone who decidedly hated his guts months before the day Chrissy Cunningham was found dead—thought he deserved something better than becoming a banned topic after what this town put him through.

You could remember the day he appeared on the news like it was yesterday.

You had been curled up on one corner of the couch of the living room, your mother on the other end, and your father in his La-Z-Boy. It was pitch black in the room with the only light source being the colorful and fuzzy glow of the television. It was unfortunately your mom’s night to watch her program so of course you and your dad were already half asleep by the time her show was suddenly interrupted.

“What the-!” your mom had gasped. “I wanna know what happens! Oh those darn news… people…”

She had trailed off as the reality of the emergency newscast sunk in, no longer reaching for the remote but settling back into her spot instead.

You didn’t really know Chrissy. She was popular and well-loved, and had hundreds of friends. You definitely weren’t one of them, though. Whether it was secretly too beneath her deep down in her innocent demeanor, or if you simply weren’t interested in gravitating around her enough for her to truly take notice of you. She was a sweet girl though. She was a senior like you and the few times you two interacted, she was nothing but kind. And even if she hadn’t been, she still wouldn’t have deserved what happened to her.

You remember your mother nervously toying that necklace she always wore as she watched the news with big eyes. The way your dad sat up more and gave the screen his full attention. The tension and anxiety that made the air in the living room feel heavy; and when you thought your throat couldn’t get any drier and your heart couldn’t race any faster—Eddie’s picture was plastered on the television.

You remember the way your hearing seemed to turn into a faint buzz as the newscaster spoke of the victim’s body being found in his trailer.

“I always knew that boy was trouble.” your dad grumbled out, and you had to fight the urge to huff out a laugh and tell him he had no idea.

Neither of them knew what happened between you two or that there was even a “you two” to begin with. And you certainly wouldn’t have said anything that night because then they’d know in the worst way possible. Admitting it back then at the start of Spring Break would’ve been admitting how deeply you had fallen for someone who was possibly wanted for murder.

Even if it was never explicitly stated that Eddie Munson had shattered your heart (when you were completely falling apart just a couple months before your hometown did the same) your mom had been quick to notice something was wrong. Motherly instincts or something like that—or, y’know, just the fact that you were visibly a mess.

Even at that start of it all you didn’t want to talk about that one particularly miserable day. You would wait until it was late at night to cry into your pillow. You had briefly lost some weight since the whole situation had left you with a solid knot in your stomach, leaving you horribly nauseous and deadening your appetite. The fact that you were constantly lying about being sick to avoid school was what truly confirmed your mom’s concerns.

Sure, you could’ve had a stomach bug. Maybe that’s why you had been picking at your food at dinner. Maybe that’s why you looked so pale and tired all the time. But then throughout the school week you would keep saying you were sick, and with the state you were in she didn’t have the heart to tell you your temperature was perfectly normal. Besides, you never skipped so she wasn’t all that suspicious at first so she let you stay home. You kept lying, though, and she finally felt she had to ask if something was going on at school.

You remember that time when boy problems still mattered so vividly. When Eddie Munson was still a mentionable name, even if you didn’t act like it. When your mom was checking in on you because of him and because her main concern was still little nuances in your behavior.

“Is something going on at school?” your mom had murmured softly as she sat on the edge of your bed.

It was nighttime and the only light in your room was the faint and warm glow of your bedside table, giving a false sense of comfort to the room that was filled with memories of him. Some spots of your room still smelled like him—especially by the window where he would sneak in, and sit on to smoke. It felt like cold spots in a haunted house to you.

“Is someone not treating you right?”

“No, mom, really. I just don’t feel well.” you murmured, and she can’t help but notice how dry your lips look. That little scab where you had been anxiously biting and picking at the skin there—a bad habit that only ever flared up when you were distraught, even as a child. You certainly looked ill, but her instincts were pointing elsewhere. She insisted you drink some of the water on your bedside table before she continued.

“Well…” she had sighed, smoothing out the blanket resting over you. “Is… is it a boy?”

You remember feeling your heart temporarily stop before lodging itself in your throat. You tried to ignore that burning feeling as you avoided breaking down and confirming her worries. But fighting it off didn’t mean that lump wasn’t in your throat. It didn’t mean your face didn’t get all warm as tears began to prick at your eyes. You were oddly silent as you kept your gaze down and shook your head. You were sure you could’ve held those tears in too, but then she got you to crack with a couple simple words.

“Oh honey…” She murmured and pulled you into her for a hug.

You didn’t want to tell anyone. It was embarrassing. It wasn’t even embarrassing—it was humiliating, mortifying. So you weren’t expecting how relieving it was to sob and finally let someone know, even if you didn’t go into detail.

“I thought he really cared about me d-deep down-“ you had wailed as your mom shushed you in a caring manner and rubbed your back.

You still appreciate the fact that she didn’t push. She didn’t urge you to tell her everything, she just let you cry until you were spent and she left to soak a face towel in cool water so she could press it to your flushed cheeks. She held you and murmured reassuringly, especially when you spoke up again—your voice horribly broken.

“I-It’s not fair because he’s perfectly fine and I… I’m…” you choked up after your tone got high with emotion before crumbling again.

“I know, honey, I know… it’s never fair…” she whispered. “But you’re gonna be okay. It feels like the end of the world now, but before you know it it’ll be a little bit better, okay?”

She had pulled back to look at you and wiped the tears off of your cheeks. “And then it’ll be better after that, and even more after that. You’re going to keep healing, I promise.”

In hindsight she wasn’t wrong, but there had still been so many days where you wished Eddie Munson would turn up dead for what he did to you. And now you felt horribly guilty for those thoughts after he had been so close. Even though you still despise him deep down, you hate yourself a little bit too. For letting him in, in the first place. For falling in love and for admitting it. For falling apart because he didn’t feel the same. For wishing he would drop dead.

And there was another thing that burned away at you. Right next to the fact that no one mentioned Eddie, was the frustrating fact that Jason was still talked about and practically canonized. There were portraits of him and Chrissy in local churches and in Hawkins High and sure maybe he didn’t deserve to die, but why wasn’t anyone talking about how he put fire under that ridiculous manhunt? To urge everyone to find Eddie and do who knows what to him?

Steadily approaching a year since Hawkins broke open, you’re scowling as you walk past that portrait of him in school. Having to repeat your senior year after the disaster threw everyone’s educational progress off the rails, you had to deal with that picture a lot. You turn your gaze elsewhere as you head to your last class of the day, and even that little glimpse of his image sparks up memories of his crazed state.

Jason had an inexhaustible vengeance, and refused to let anything—or anyone—get in his way. He had to find Eddie. He had to make him pay.

You didn’t know it at the time, but he had been hunting down Eddie’s closest friends and band mates to get information out of them. That’s how he found you.

“Where is he?” Jason shouted in Gareth’s face as he gripped him by the lapels of his cut up flannel.

“I don’t know!”

“Where is he!?”

“I don’t know!” Gareth insisted before Jason hit him again.

While a restrained Jeff shouted at him to leave his friend alone, Jason tossed him into his drums. A cymbal crashed while the set dispersed in different directions and Gareth was left lying on the floor of his garage.

“It’s gonna be hard to play those drums with a broken hand!” Jason rose his voice again, holding Gareth down by his back and crushed his hand between his sneaker and the concrete floor. There was an audible crunch as Gareth cried out in pain.

“Dustin!”

“What?”

“Dustin Henderson!”

“What?” Jason repeated, urging him to clarify.

“Dustin Henderson!” Gareth shouted again, face twisting in pain. “Man h-he was- he was calling around looking for Eddie! Maybe he found him! Maybe he found him!”

“See that wasn’t that hard, was it?” Jason taunted, but kept pressing his foot onto Gareth’s hand before finally stepping away.

“O-or y/n maybe, I don’t know.” Gareth cried out, cradling his hand that was pulsing with pain.

“Who?” Jason’s brow furrowed as he looked back at him.

Jeff spoke up for him, repeating your name in a panic.

“Y-yeah maybe. I don’t know, I haven’t seen her around him in a while, b-but I caught them fooling around in Eddie’s van once,” Jeff rambled on “And he was constantly messing with her. He… he might be with her. Or she might know.”

The more he thought about it, the more Jason remembered the occasional moment where he would see Eddie tossing things at you in class or pushing up against you in gym. Back in the car, Andy and Patrick chimed in with other things they witnessed. Eddie feeling you up. Eddie shoving you or knocking your books out of your hands. Eddie harassed you constantly. Maybe even being tutored by you (according to Andy). If you couldn’t join them through a mutual hatred for the metalhead, maybe you could at least be forced to give more information—especially if you had some fucked up relationship.

You were home alone despite your mother’s insistence to join her or your father at work. With two deaths and a possible killer still on the loose, she wasn’t wild about you being by yourself. You convinced her you could take care of yourself, especially with all the baseball bats and heavy golf clubs she kept around just in case.

Considering everything, you shouldn’t have opened the front door when someone rang, but you were so shocked to spot Jason Carver through your peephole to think about it. You weren’t impressed, even when he flashed you his best smile. You were just curious why he was here.

“Well, I’ll be quick. I’m sure you have better things to do.” he said with a soft laugh which you were sure he thought was charming. You just kept scowling.

“Yeah. I do,” you said bluntly and there was a flash of anger across his face for a moment before he filtered it through a weaker smile. “What do you want?”

“I just want to know if you have any idea where Eddie Munson is.”

You can’t help but scoff at this.

“No, and I really don’t care about where he could be.”

You’re about to close the door, but he was quick to speak up again and keep your attention.

“I heard you tutor him-“

“Not anymore. Too difficult.” You interrupted, and he faltered for a moment before continuing.

“I’m sure. I know how he treated you. It… it’s horrible really.” He spoke softly and you hesitated for a moment, hand still on the edge of your door.

But then you realized something.

If he knew, then where had he been? Why didn’t he do anything? Even if you didn’t want anyone to interfere—not really. Not to mention after he broke your heart and all ties were cut, Eddie surprisingly let up on the constant harassment. It wasn’t fun anymore. Soon enough he had been avoiding you in the halls as much as you had been avoiding him, but that didn’t mean everything before that never happened. If Jason really took notice of your interactions, where had he been?

“I could tell even then just from how he acted with you that he wasn’t a good person. He’s not a good person. He’s a killer, and he can’t be out here loose in Hawkins ready to claim another victim.”

You stare at him in silence. Your lack of response is clearly testing his patience and he’s parting his lips to speak up again, but you cut him off.

“Why now?”

“What?” Jason laughed this off casually.

“Why now are you suddenly so interested in how he used to treat me?”

“Oh, well I-”

“No,” you interrupted bluntly at your swift decision and with no room for fluff. No matter how much you hated Eddie. “I’m not here for your senseless propaganda. Thanks.”

You went to slam the door, but he kept it open. It touches on a memory of Eddie doing something similar once upon a time to get to you while you were all alone in your bedroom. The only difference is this isn’t Eddie, and Jason is really starting to scare you.

You glance over to see the concern on Lucas Sinclair’s face—you recognized him from the occasional interactions he had with Eddie and then from all the excitement of that recent basketball game he won for the high school team. He was behind Jason, a little off to the side and you spotted the car in the driveway with a few others inside. The fact that he had others with him didn’t exactly comfort you.

“I just want to know where that freak is, okay?” Jason clarified with a smile as if it covered the fact that he was clearly unstable. You could see it in his eyes.

“It’s dangerous with him out there. I’m just trying to help my community.”

“Whatever, Jason. Like I said: I’m not interested in any of this. I don’t talk to Eddie anymore. I don’t know where he fucked off to.”

“I know you’re screwing him. Just tell me where your creep boyfriend is.”

This sudden flash of anger and the contents of his accusation shocked you, but you didn’t let it force your guard down.

“I’m not with him like that. Like I said: I don’t fucking talk to him. I don’t know where he is.”

Jason still wasn’t budging, and you’re suddenly grateful for your mom’s incessant worrying when he took a step forward. You grabbed the metal bat your parents kept by the door right as he’s parting his lips to continue speaking.

“Get off my doorstep. Get away from me. Or I’m using this, Carver, I swear to god.”

This made him hold his hands up in defense and start to back off again, especially as Lucas murmured a swift “C’mon, man, maybe we should just leave her alone.” A sad excuse for a kind smile curved up the corners of the blond’s mouth. It made you sick.

“Just trying to take care of my community. No need to get violent… I’m one of the good guys. If you’re sure you don’t know anything—I’ll leave you be.”

“Well I don’t. How many times do I have to say it?” You snap, gripping the handle of the bat a bit tighter.

He finally started to walk off with an okay okay, but then he turned to look at you one more time.

“Be smart about which side you’re choosing.”

At that, you slammed your front door and locked it. One of the good guys, you think with a scoff. Yeah, sure.

Currently on your walk home, your mind is still swirling with memories of last year. You understood the need to commemorate and show respect, but the constant reminders didn’t help to move on. You hated being here. You couldn’t wait to graduate and move as far away as possible. You wanted to forget about Hawkins. You wanted to forget about Eddie Munson. You wanted to forget how close the world had been to ending.

You happen to glance up as you walk towards your house when your steps become hesitant at the sight of someone sitting on your doorstep. It was no jock ready to berate you. It certainly wasn’t Eddie.

It was none other than Nancy Wheeler.

Eddie was miserable.

Actually, it was beyond just misery. He couldn’t even think of a word to describe everything he had been through and everything he was actively going through—whether that was because he always failed vocab tests due to lazy disinterest or because such a word just didn’t exist. The whole experience took a lot out of him—quite literal chunks out of his body, not just emotionally.

Besides those who had become closest to him, once everyone was focused on the next suspect no one bothered to check back in with him. No one apologized for literally hunting him down with plans of… god, he didn’t even want to think about what they would’ve done if they caught him.

After being resuscitated, he had to be holed up in some secure room of a nearby hospital while he recovered since Hawkins Memorial Hospital was too risky for him. As the days in the hospital went by painfully and with more and more news on Hawkins turning up on the small TV of his room, he wondered if karma was a real thing. He narrowly escaped death and an arrest for a murder he didn’t commit (really the only thing saving his ass coming from the insistence of his uncle and Chief Hopper when he randomly appeared back in Hawkins). It certainly made a guy think about what he’s done.

In fact, all the isolation gave him far too much time to think. Watching the news; constantly pressing the morphine button even though he knew it wouldn’t give him more; falling into pits of depression where sometimes he wished they never brought him back—those thoughts of karma came up. He would eventually brush them off as hippie garbage, but memories of you were sounding off like an alarm in his head. It wasn’t hippie garbage. The concept held some real truth to it, and he knew he deserved everything that happened after he had been so cruel to you because of some stupid, childish need for distance from any sort of vulnerability.

After realizing that, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. He was stuck in Hell on earth with aching wounds he wished would heal faster and memories of a girl he should’ve treated better. He regretted how things ended, and wondered what it would be like right now if he hadn’t ended things with such brutal carelessness. You’d probably be right by his side and making it easier to get through. And when he thought about how much better it would be to heal with you here, something ached deep inside him that even morphine couldn’t touch. He missed something he never let himself have, and certainly didn’t deserve by this point. He knew what kinds of things mattered now, and it didn’t even make a difference because as much as it changed things for him that didn’t mean it changed things for you.

Then one night, it dawned on him that you might not even be alive.

He was sweating from all the pain and the drugs and the heat of mid September of ‘86, when it occurred to him that you could be gone. Having already established a constant pattern of thoughts that revolved around you, it wasn’t surprising that he was up at 2 AM with you on his mind but that intrusion to his pleasant memories or self-loathing put him into a panic. You could be dead quickly turned into you are dead, and he couldn’t handle it. How could he deserve to live, but you didn’t? Maybe because you deserved mercy and he didn’t. Either way, he ignored his crying nerves and scrambled for the walky talky on his bedside table.

He tried just about every channel he was allowed to use, but no one was picking up. Maybe they were sleeping, but he knew he wasn’t the only one in the group suffering from insomnia after everything that happened. Still, he wasn’t granted the peace of a response and he had to lay there just hoping for a chance to make things better—and worry that he wouldn’t get to.

The group that helped him through that horrific Spring break came to visit him when they were able to. It was typically at random, with the occasional stop at his request for certain food or begging for a distraction before he went insane. Lucas was the first one to answer when he tried the radio again early that morning, and he soothed Eddie’s anxiety with the promise of stopping by.

With Max in the hospital and still no signs of coming back, Lucas had his own need for a distraction. He trudged into the dull room Eddie was stuck in, and settled into the chair kept by the bed.

“Is she alive?”

Lucas blinked, wondering if maybe he missed something in his own fog of exhaustion and despair. Really it was because Eddie blurted out in mid-thought without the courtesy of some background, but he still grew frustrated with him. His face bunched up as he briefly bared his teeth in that split second of muted rage. One of his hands made a fist before he unfurled it to rub at his face and shake his head.

“Y/n. Y/n, Sinclair—jesus christ—is she alive?”

Lucas parted his lips and then closed them again, tired eyes staring over at the metalhead as he tried to get his mind to cooperate. Eddie nearly cracked over the hesitation, taking it as a sign that Lucas was struggling to tell him that you were gone rather than trying to remember who you were and if he had seen you around.

“Yeah. Y-Yeah,” he finally murmured and a heavy sigh exhaled from Eddie’s lungs. “I’ve seen her around school. She’s alive.”

“Jesus chr—she’s okay?” Eddie was rubbing his palms over his face again, bangs partially sticking up when he pulled his hands away to gesture with energy he didn’t have to spend.

“Yeah, man, she’s okay. I think—I-I don’t really talk to her, but she isn’t injured.”

Eddie sat with that for a moment, relieved that you were alive and at least fine physically, but his eyes were still sad. Lucas joined him in this bubble of misery, the silence tugging him back to thoughts of Max until Eddie finally popped the bubble again.

“Did… did she join everyone? Y’know in the Great Hunt for the Freak?” he let out a partial laugh, but it was hollow.

“No, she didn’t buy it.” Lucas shrugged and leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs.

His eye stung for a moment, watered and then returned to normal. After that fight in the old Creel house, his eye was never truly the same. It healed enough that it wasn’t swollen and bruised, but it was still sensitive and it watered more often. Whenever it did, it made him think of that night and he felt as if he was being punched all over again. It made him think of Max. It made him think of Jason.

Although with the topic on you, remembering Jason made him laugh a little—a soft, amused chuckle breaking through his sorrow.

“Jason actually went to her house. I… I was still with him at that point,” Lucas flicked his gaze up at Eddie with guilt before looking back down. “He wanted to interrogate her about you. See if you were hiding with her or if she hated you enough to join him.”

Eddie swallowed, brows frowning as he waited for him to continue.

“She uh… she threatened him with a baseball bat.” Lucas laughed a bit more wholeheartedly this time.

Eddie’s head sunk back a bit in surprise, big doe eyes even wider and brows raised in disbelief. He said your first name to clarify and even though Lucas nodded, he said your full name with that same questioning tone.

“She threatened Jason Carver with a baseball bat?”

You were meek if nothing else, and as Eddie knew you—you were easy to break. Easy to bend and mold so he never considered the possibility that you were strong. That you could take care of yourself, and you weren’t as weak as you looked. But maybe it was fitting. You appeared delicate and fragile, but were tougher than you looked. Whereas he had that rough n tough, bad boy act just for it to fall apart when he found himself scrambling away from danger. He just hoped he wasn’t the reason you were surprisingly resilient—that maybe it was always there and he just never noticed.

“Yeah. He wouldn’t back off and she said she’d do it if he didn’t leave,” Lucas snickered a bit before his mood was sobered by the other side of this memory. “She uh… she was scared. He was scaring her, and I don’t blame her. He was scaring all of us…”

He was focused on his hands now, toying with them anxiously and he could hear the sigh of Eddie’s puffy hospital pillow as he settled back against it. He was letting it all sink in, and for a moment he wished he was the one to kill Carver instead of the cracking earth. You didn’t deserve the way he treated you, and you didn’t deserve Jason’s intimidation tactics just because you had been caught up with the likes of him.

He hated that you had been scared, he hated that it was his fault, and he hated how much worse he felt now that he knew that you stood up for him even after everything he put you through. Maybe not so much stood up for him, but you didn’t let yourself get dragged into the accusations and mob mentality even if you had every reason to.

This hurt worse somehow, and he was bound to a new bout of pain and suffering.

“I just miss her, I guess…” Eddie admitted to his uncle once the topic turned to you. He felt the urge to repent and voice how badly he wished you were with him right now, and his uncle was the only one he felt safe admitting all of this to.

“The girl that you were spending time with at home?” His uncle’s gruff voice wondered, and Eddie was taken aback by the question.

All he said was there was a girl he had a thing with, which he messed up royally, and he wished he could have another chance. Nothing else, so he looked like a fish out of water now and his uncle chuckled at his reaction.

“I may not be the smartest man around, but I’m not stupid,” he grumbled out, sat in the same chair Lucas had been. “I was aware of your uh… activities.”

Wayne scratched at his stubble, embarrassed to acknowledge just exactly what his adult nephew had been up to—just as mortified as Eddie was over having to discuss sex with his uncle.

“I found her panty things stuck to the inside of the dryer,” Wayne explained further. “And I ran into her one morning when I had just come home from the plant.”

You had been leaving Eddie’s room to use the bathroom early in the morning, not realizing he would be home from a shift. You hoped that with how tired he looked that he would think it was all a weird dream or maybe that he was seeing things. After all, you were back in that room in a flash. Fast enough to be a fleeting ghost, but he saw you and he clearly remembered you. Eddie was grumbling something to himself now about you being careless enough to get him caught, but Wayne was quick to shut this down. He wasn’t known to raise his voice, and he still really didn’t, but his tone was harsher now.

“No—don’t you go blaming that girl cause you insisted on keeping her a secret. Christ, boy—you know, I thought I taught you better.”

Of all the things he could say, this was the worst. I thought I taught you better. Eddie wished he could shrink down to nothing, and he looked down at his hands in shame.

“You should’ve treated her better. That’s on you.”

“Yeah…” Eddie laughed out bitterly “You have no idea…”

Eddie sighed now, hiding his face behind his palms.

“I’m so fucking stupid. I don’t know how I thought that kind of shit was important,” He rips his hands away to jerk them outwards in an exasperated gesture and looks over at this uncle. “It was fun a-and then it was too serious and I just— I— and now I don’t know why I was thinking like that.”

“Well,” his uncle started after a pause to think it over. “you may have been a grown man in the eyes of the law, but that doesn’t mean you were thinking like one. You’re still young. I…I’d like to think you would’ve learned these kinds of thing at a regular pace as you grew up, but—shit—between your parents and especially after all this-”

Wayne gestured out into the air with little energy to his casual motion.

“You’re forced into adulthood. That’s what shit like this does…”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Eddie finally admits in a rush after a moment of considering his uncles words. He was sure they had some truth to them, but he thought maybe his uncle was giving him too much credit. “I really cared for her— I still really care for her. I was just… I was being-“

“Stupid? Childish?”

“Yeah, yeah okay- geez,” Eddie sighs and looks down at his hands to pick at his nails. “Yeah… all of that…”

“Well… maybe if she really means that much to ya, then be honest. Try again. Really put some elbow grease into it, and maybe—if you’re lucky—she’ll forgive you.”

Eddie scoffs out a miserable laugh and gestures around him in a way that’s far more animated than when his uncle did it.

“Yeah. Cause I’m clearly so lucky.”

What made all of this worse was the fact that he couldn’t even reach out for months.

Being hidden away didn’t only mean a different hospital picked out by Hopper. It also meant no calls, no letters—nothing. He couldn’t risk being found by anyone who was still convinced he was guilty. Eddie insisted it calmed down enough to come back and he had healed enough for it, but Hopper was hesitant and ultimately unyielding.

“It’s bullshit. You guys even said no one mentions me anymore, and it’s not like I’m a suspect.” Eddie ranted to Nancy during her visit, Steve somewhere else in the hospital looking for food.

“I know, but you’ll still stand out right now,” she reasoned. “If you come back, it could stir something up again.”

“What, so I never go back? I have to uproot my whole shitty life because of rumors?”

“Eddie-“ she sighed.

“No, it’s shit. It’s all shit. If I have to stay one more second in this shitty fucking room, I’m gonna start climbing the walls,” he ranted with wild eyes. “I need to leave. I need to live my crappy life. I… I need to see y/n again.”

At that, Nancy perked up. It wasn’t out of excitement, but rather something blowing through her sideways at your name. Familiarity burned at her before it all went up in flames, and she was overwhelmed with memories and guilt.

“Oh my god… y/n…” She murmured to herself with an upsetting sense of nostalgia.

She completely forgot about you in the mess of everything. At first she had been trying to keep you from learning anything that could put you in danger—doing her best to keep it between her and Jonathan. She had already lost Barb because of her own selfish carelessness, she couldn’t let something happen to you too. Then it was all a whirlwind from there and you were suddenly caught up in a past that she forgot existed. A past where a shoebox was just a shoebox.

Her eyes grow sad, her mind filling with thoughts of how she could’ve ever possibly left you in the dust. Sure, you were a newfound friend in high school—whereas her and Barb had been friends for years by that point—but that was no excuse for letting leaving you out of the loop turn into completely leaving you behind.

She’s so caught up in her own regrets that she forgets about Eddie until he’s speaking up again and waving his hand in front of her face.

“Uhh, Wheeler? Hello?”

“Oh- uh… yeah, yes.” She shakes her head, her curly hair shuffling around with the motion, her brow frowning and her lips taut. “Yes. Yes, I know her. You know her?”

“Well uh…” he lets out a nervous laugh, suddenly fearful of the rage of an old friend. “We sorta… we had a thing going…”

He risked a glance over at her, and her expression was anything but sparing. She clearly wasn’t happy with how guilty he sounded, but who was she? She abandoned you for all intents and purposes, even if she didn’t mean to. And if she had been blind enough to never notice what went on between you and Eddie, she had no right to chastise him for it even if she did have the familiar urge to get up on her high horse.

“But uh… I kinda screwed everything up,” he muttered and was back to picking at his fingers while he stared down at them. “Like you wouldn’t believe. And I just… shit, I’m so sick of this place and waiting around.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie, but you can’t go back to Hawkins yet.”

“Yeah, I think I got that,” he snaps bitterly before cooling down again. “I just… I need to talk to her or something. If she could be brought here, or if I could meet her somewhere else. I need to fix things.”

After constant complaining and threats of breaking out of the hospital, Nancy eventually found a compromise to get him to shut up.

Steve came back around the time he had started rattling on again about how he was going to go crazy. Utterly confused as always, he was off to the side and watched as Nance did her best to calm Eddie down again. He occasionally broke through all the noise with his questions, only to get a searing glare from Nancy. At some point, he finally caught on (kinda) and only made things worse.

“Munson has a crush,” he finally said with a snap of his fingers and points at them. “That’s cute. Embarrassing, but cute.”

“I don’t have a crush, you idi-”

“Will you please stop?” Nancy hissed over at him, expression begging for him to keep out of it.

“Why am I even here?” Steve wondered out loud with a sigh and kept eating his suspicious hospital jello.

“Cause I can’t leave this fucking place!” Eddie reiterated, making Nancy groan over Steve agitating the problem that she was just barely starting to settle.

“I’ll- I’ll give her a letter!” she finally offered, cutting Eddie off mid-complaint. Her arms shot up with the raise of her voice, laughing with exasperation. “Just write down what you want to say, and I’ll give it to her!”

“What are you doing here?”

It came out harsher than you intended and even you wanted to flinch at your own words, but maybe it was justified. She completed cast you aside you when you lost a friend. You both lost a friend, and it seemed to make her hate you. Or at least that’s how it felt. Why else would she have avoided you? Why else would she have stopped talking to you?

“I guess I deserve that.” Nancy replied with a soft huff of a laugh, and a sheepish smile.

More news seemed to be coming up little by little about Barb. Once upon a time you thought it all came to a close when it was revealed that she died from a chemical leak, but now there was talk of things that a chemical leak would wilt in comparison to. Things that went on in your own home town that you can’t even imagine going unseen by so many. Or maybe they all saw, but curled up into their comfortable ignorance to avoid it. You couldn’t judge them—you did too. You believed every story you got, even if—in hindsight—they were obvious cover ups every time someone started to demand for better explanations.

You eye her cautiously, hoping your eyes don’t show the sadness that came with such hesitancy around someone you used to know so well.

“I uhm…” Nancy shook her head the way she always did when she needed to clear her thoughts, brows furrowed and nose briefly scrunched up as she glanced at the ground. “I had to bring this to you…”

She was looking at you again, gauging your reaction as she extended her slim arm to offer you an envelope. You’re toying with it in your hands, wondering why there was no name on the back and if you should open it now.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

You look up at her now, but remain silent. What was there to say?

“I should’ve never left you behind like that... Trust me, I never meant to. I thought I was protecting you and I was, but…” Nancy’s pouty lips scrunch together for a moment. “It wasn’t fair.”

“No, it wasn’t…” you concur, but your heart aches from the look on her face.

Sure, she hurt you but maybe you should’ve been grateful. Even if you wished she would’ve been honest with you, you knew how stubborn Nancy could be when it came to protecting those close to her. Instead of shutting her out, you extend an olive branch.

“Barb would be rolling her eyes at us right now, huh?”

Nancy stutters over her own disbelieving laugh as she glances at you through her lashes.

“Yeah, she would be.” Her nose scrunches again, lips bunched up a second time as her gaze grows sentimental. “She’d be telling us to stop being so stupid.”

“‘You both get perfect grades, why don’t you use your brains outside of school?’” You quote before laughing and she joins in.

“Guess we can’t say she wasn’t honest. She was always pretty straightforward with her thoughts.”

“One of us had to be.”

Nancy nods, and then let’s out a sigh as she rubs her arm and starts to move out of your way.

“Well, I should probably let you get to that-“

“Yeah, this letter that isn’t suspicious at all.” You joke, holding up the blank envelope and she laughs lightly before ducking her head down.

Figuring you were parting ways now, you turn around and open your front door, just to turn around in your doorway when you heard her suddenly chirp out your name. She hesitates again, but then finds her words.

“I… now that things seem to be going back to normal… I… I’d love to try being friends again. Maybe have a girls night.”

A smile breaks out onto your face, and you watch her defenses slowly start to melt away and smooth out the stiffness in her body.

“I’d like that.”

“What did she say? How’d she react?” Eddie asked over the radio, barely even waiting for a second to pass before continuing. “Wheeler? Hello?”

“Can I have a moment to respond?” Nancy quipped back, the crackling of the station breaking up her voice but not enough that he couldn’t hear her frustration. Not that he cared right now.

“What’d she think?”

“I don’t know, Eddie,” she sighed. “She didn’t open your letter in front of me.”

“Shit…” Eddie mutters, chewing at his thumbnail. He wanted—maybe even needed—the instant gratification that Nancy could’ve given him had she stuck around to watch you open the envelope.

Then again, maybe he was lucky.

“It— It’s whatever. I just hope it makes a difference.”

“What…what did you say to her in the letter?” Nancy asked now before shifting her focus quickly. “What did you even do in the first place?”

“Uhh, well let’s see,” Eddie looked up at the ceiling from where he was sat on the edge of his bed as his leg started to bounce. “I was a dick. Yeah… yeah, that about sums it up.”

“Don’t make me regret doing this for you, Eddie.” Nancy sighed and turned down the volume to her walky talky.

“I’m sorry, and I mean it. I’m capable given the right circumstances, remember?” the writing said, then there were a few words that had been crossed out and he followed those scratches of ink with a winky face, concluding with: “Leave that window unlocked, kay? I’ll be back for that necklace so keep it safe.”

Was the world falling apart all over again? Did you actually die and you didn’t even realize it? Everything seemed so unexpected and oddly… nice? Reassuring? Like Nancy showing up and apologizing. Or this letter you had open on top of your bedding.

It was part of a full sheet of paper, likely the bottom third of a page torn off. The handwriting and the comments throughout were enough to immediately make you think of who wrote this—even if he didn’t sign it. But what really confirmed it was the necklace with the red guitar pick hanging on it. You’re infuriated with the involuntary flush reaching your cheeks as memories rush in. All the times he was on top of you, that necklace hanging down and resting on your chest or nudging your chin and lips.

“God, you’re such a good girl for me.” you remember him groaning that one time he watched you sucking on the guitar pick, big eyes staring up at him while he fucked into you.

You had been folded into yourself on his mattress, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes from each and every thrust that fed your greed for him but was inevitably making your body ache.

The pick that was now resting in your palm was suddenly just a thin slab of plastic. The more you thought about it, that’s pretty much all it tasted like it, but you remembered the saltiness of his sweat too. What made it so special in the first place was knowing it was his. It was such an integral part of him—it laid close to his heart where you wished to be, and it was cherished by him which you wished for yourself once too. That moment in his small bedroom when you let it slip past your lips, you hadn’t been sure how he’d react, and to be completely honest you were too fucked out to think at all. But he didn’t pull it away from you, he sunk into you with that shuddering praise instead.

The memory of his words was enough to raise your body temperature, but you fought off that familiar instinct to melt just for him. He’s an asshole. A cruel heartbreaker. He’s selfish. He’s mean. He’s smug. He ruined love for you.

Your stomach bends and curls enough to make you nauseous as the butterflies kick in—then why do I still want him so badly? You were so desperate to take every single ounce of attention—good or bad—that he gave you. Hadn’t you learned your lesson? Hadn’t you been practicing your borderline religious hatred for him enough for it to be real?

You’re not sure if it’s anger towards him or yourself for slipping so easily, but your blood is starting to boil. You remind yourself of all those games he used to play with you and the sentiment of him being a heartless, sadistic fuck plays on repeat in your head so that no softer thoughts can break through. Surely he was toying with you. This was a test of some kind, probably because he got bored and wanted to brush you off like some forgotten toy he wanted to use again.

You needed to prove to yourself that you can shoot him down. Stare into those gorgeous doe eyes and tell him to go fuck himself. Look up at him when he’s giving you that beautiful half-smile and moving his hands to hold your hips, and tell him to never talk to you again.

You needed to show him how it felt to be treated the way he treated you. Maybe it was childish, but some twisted part of you felt relieved at the thought of it. He deserved to have his hopes shattered when he thinks he’s getting what he wants, just to be shut out. He deserved to be humiliated. He deserved to be broken down so thoroughly just like you had been. To be broken down into such a fine dust that even when you were sure everything had been swept back together again, there were always going to be those missing bits and pieces that fell through the cracks or blew away.

As you’re toying with the necklace in your hands, you can’t help but think you’re being too immature. What about last year? Everything that happened to him? Maybe he’s been put through enough? Your brow frowns, and you’re internally cursing yourself for being so horribly incapable of making a decision.

Your hand shot up to cover your frustrated expression, a groan leaving your lips. You wanted to let yourself hate him so badly, but you wanted to feel loved by him so much it hurt.

You think it over for the rest of the night, laying in bed with your hands still clutching that necklace. You’re up for hours, only falling asleep when your body forces you into submission around 4 AM—nodding off and snapping back up just to nod off again. Your last thought is that you had to be strong—whatever that meant. You didn’t have to be mean, but you refused to cave and immediately let him have you in whatever way he wants.

He’s won far too many times, and now it’s your turn.

“If you get caught then I had nothing to do with this—got that, Munson?” Steve whispered as he glanced over at the metalhead, one arm still outstretched as he held onto the steering wheel.

Eddie was too busy taking in the sight of your house and breathing in the fresh night air. It never occurred to him before just how much he loved the smell of chill in the wind, like it might snow soon. Ever since last year he was realizing a lot of things he never knew he loved, and he felt both relieved and crushed by the knowledge. He was sure he knew himself before everything happened. He liked fantasy games, music, and indulging in that metal rockstar lifestyle even if it was just another fantasy he was playing into. He liked having all eyes on him as he made a scene in the lunchroom. He liked being the local anarchistic leader of fellow freaks, and ignoring any other responsibilities. He liked girls he could use like he was some big shot backstage after a show.

He thought everything was about prepping himself for that kind of life. He was comfortable being the asshole who never pulled his weight anymore than he had to if he wasn’t interested enough. He was comfortable being a runner because then he could continue living the way he was used to without anything to come in and hold him back, until his whole life fell apart. Then he was afraid for his life. Then he was afraid for that kid’s life—all of their lives, actually, not just Dustin’s. Then he was suddenly the person charging into danger to give someone else a chance.

And now he was alone. He still had his new group, but they could continue their lives while he was kept hidden away and all he had to do was think about everything he never realized he would miss. Something as simple as recognizing a familiar comfort in the smell of a soft breeze felt heart wrenching. Or laying in a hospital bed wishing he still had that one girl to love him made him horribly aware of how empty he’s always been.

“Hello?” Steve urged with an impatient tone.

Eddie glanced over at him and despite his frustration at the lack of response, Steve felt taken aback by the sight of him. Something about finally seeing him back out of the hospital made him realize just how miserable Eddie really was. Maybe it was because sadness made sense in a hospital, or maybe it was the way the moonlight hit his features the right way and he could see the deeper shadows of his face and his sullen eyes.

“Just… be quick alright? And I was never here.”

“Yeah, Hopper’ll have your head.” Eddie snickered quietly.

“I’m less concerned about Hopper…” Steve muttered as thoughts of a certain young woman being upset with him flashed through his head.

“Women, am I right?” Eddie asked playfully in a mocking manner to anyone who ever seriously shared that sentiment, leaning his body towards Steve before laughing as the brunet nudged him back.

“Will you just go?” Steve laughed it off, shaking his head and watched him finally clamber out of the car.

Eddie snuck to the side of the house where he could spot your window. It had been a solid couple of weeks since Nancy brought his letter to you, and he just wished you would let him back in. He huffed before forcing himself up to make his way towards the window, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his lips in concentration. He was understandably weaker since the last time he was doing this on a weekly basis, but he pushed through and squeezed his eyes shut in frustration when it wouldn’t open. You kept it locked.

Your whole body tensed at the sound of someone rapping on your window, hand clutching your blanket. It had been long enough that you thought he was never going to come and retrieve his necklace, and you were irritated with your own disappointment. Now you were struggling with the sudden surge of excitement lighting up your nerves, which was making a sour combination with all that built up anger towards him.

When you finally forced yourself to look over your shoulder, you weren’t expecting how badly you wanted to cry. You wanted to let him in and just kiss him. Kiss him until you could pass out from the lack of oxygen. Hold him to you and refuse to let him leave. He wasn’t allowed to make a visit like this and leave you again—physically or emotionally. You couldn’t handle it, and you were surprised at how all these feelings presented themselves.

“What is your problem?” Is the first thing to leave your lips when he’s climbing into your room, and you might’ve been more surprised by your words than he was.

“W… what?” he laughs off your question, shocked by you starting the interaction this way; although realistically he shouldn’t have been.

“Why are you here?”

“Well I…” he rubbed his arm once he was back to his full height, scratching a bit at his elbow. “I wanted to apologize-”

“Why does it matter to you now?” you interrupt, your anger surprisingly not faltering even when his big eyes flit up to look at you sadly like a dejected puppy. You felt so broken when you finally saw him again, you didn’t know where this was coming from. Why—when you wanted him back so badly—you were being so… mean.

“What? Did you develop a conscience all of a sudden? Get hunted for months and suddenly have an opportunity to stop and think ‘hm it really sucks to be treated like garbage, gee I wonder if this is how I made her feel’”?”

Eddie’s expression hardens for a moment, and it’s more familiar to you than any bit of softness he was showing you.

“Y’know, I wasn’t exactly treated all that great in school either. I can assure you, I already knew what it’s like to be treated like shit.”

“Oh so that excuses it then.”

“I-” Eddie huffs, letting out an incredulous laugh before trying again. “That’s not what I said. Shit— I just… I’m sorry, okay? I’m not trying to make any excuses. I should’ve been better to you.”

You stay silent for a moment, arms crossed as you watch how honest he looks when he’s all soft like this—with those puppy eyes hopeful and glossy.

“Why did you do it? If you really cared all this time why were you so hell bent on hurting me so thoroughly?”

“I never wanted to hurt you…” he mutters as he looks at the floor, glancing up when you scoff out a disbelieving laugh of your own. For once this kind of attitude doesn’t fuel his fire, but tamps it down. He felt awful, and what made it worse is he couldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe it.

“I… I thought you were cute before. Just in passing, y’know, cause you were still an underclassmen back then, but…” he glances down at his shoes. “I overheard you with your friends talking about me, and when the possibility of me liking you came up you jus’ laughed about it. Like taking an interest in me was that bad.”

His brow furrows at the memory, and just when you’re about to respond he continues to explain himself the best he can.

“I just… I don’t know, alright? It was stupid but it made me feel like shit. Like as if you would ever give me the time of day. And then it was like you were obsessed with me, and I just…”

“Wanted to make me hurt?” you question and he glances up at you briefly before nodding.

There’s a beat of silence, and he’s hopeful this is you letting everything sink in and understand where he was coming from. That you’d see his sincerity, and take him back because fuck he couldn’t stand being alone again.

“You took my heart and ripped it into shreds because of that?” you finally ask, tone sharp enough to make him cringe. “Because of something I said as a nervous sophomore who couldn’t fathom being liked? Or being seen as interesting? That’s what this is all from?”

“Well- I- but you liked the teasing-” Eddie attempted, and immediately regretted when he saw the fire in your eyes.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it!”

“I… you… you do it too! Sometimes we overreact! It happens!” Eddie finally snapped back, but tried to keep his frustration within a whisper the same way you were. “Sometimes you overhear a conversation and you make the wrong conclusion! Sometimes you don’t get kissed and you get upset! Sometimes you try to sell a girl drugs and end up on the wrong fucking side of hell opening up! Shit happens in fucked up ways! Things get messed up! I’m trying to fix how I messed up!”

He’s visibly distraught, and even though he knew this wouldn’t be easy, deep down he wished you’d melt into him like always.

“You don’t get to pull that with me, Eddie. I’m sorry about what happened last year. I really, truly am because you don’t deserve it—no matter how much I hate your fucking guts. But you don’t get to use it to distract me with it.”

“I’m not—fuck— I’m not trying to distract you with it! I’m just saying things get mixed up because of assumptions n shit like that. And I’m… I’m sorry I…” he trails off, letting out panting breaths. “You… do you really hate me?”

You hesitate, that broken look on his face almost getting to you, but you’re so sure you know better. You know how he can manipulate things.

“Yeah, Eddie. I hate you.”

He’s surprisingly quiet as he looks at you, an unfamiliar glittering to his eyes.

“And by the way, there’s a huge difference between you spending years hell bent on my misery and leaving me beyond devastated; and me giving you the silent treatment after you fucked me in the middle of the night and didn’t stick around or kiss me or make me actually feel cared for in any way.”

Eddie murmured your name, taking a step forward in a quiet plead for forgiveness. Mercy. Anything but this.

“No. I’m talking right now. Not you. So shut up and listen for once,” you choked out as tears filled your eyes, which felt oddly dissonant to your anger.

“I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. And I don’t want you back in my life,” You listed off with an attitude that surprised him, even if he deserved it. “I’m sorry that Hawkins has ruined your life, but that doesn’t mean you get me back just cause all of this has given you a fucking backbone and a conscience.”

Eddie’s lips part and then close again, feeling like a fish out of water. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to do with that aching in parts of his body he didn’t even know could ache.

“Doll, please… I really…” he breathes in deep enough that it turns shaky and burns deep in his chest. “I need a chance. I need a chance to show you I mean it. That I did love you back. That I still love you. That I can make it all up to you.”

You dig your nails into your crossed arms, looking away. You know if you keep looking into those big brown eyes that look so desperate right now that you just might cave.

“Well… I don’t love you anymore. So don’t call me doll, and just leave me alone.”

Eddie rubs his hands over his face, reaching back to temporarily grip his hair to use up some of that rage on himself before he lets go again.

“What do I have to do? What do I have to do to get even one chance? Just one, that’s all I’m asking. It’s all I need cause I swear I won’t hurt you ever again,” Eddie pleads and he’s shocked by his own words, but he doesn’t regret them for even a second. “I-I’ll check in more on how you’re feeling. I’ll ask if there’s anything I can do better. I’ll meet your fucking parents. I’ll be gross and romantic and honest. Please. Just give me one last chance, and I won’t take it lightly. Just don’t lie to me if you still love me. Trust me, I know what’s it’s like to be scared shitless about letting someone in so you’d rather just lie. It’s not worth it.”

He notices that last remark sparks up your frustration and he clarifies speedily.

“And I know that me being like that is the reason you’re hesitant to let me in now. I know that’s my fault, I just… shit, I need another chance.”

The fact that he was so insistent and willing to grovel gave you some comfort, but you’ve learned to not get your hopes up. You stick to your guns, but not as confidently as before. And Eddie sees that.

“Please just leave…” you murmur, even if it’s burning away at you to insist that he go.

He groans, rubbing at his face again but goes to straddle your windowsill anyway.

“I really do care about you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

You started chewing at the skin around your thumbnail—a nasty stress-related habit you picked up from someone. You didn’t respond, just waited for him to actually go. You were too busy fighting your urge to crumble at his words that actually felt so sincere.

“I’m glad you’re alive.” You finally offer in a voice so soft you might as well have never spoken up, but it’s enough to ease some of that aching he felt.

“I’m glad you’re alive, too… I was worried you wouldn’t be. Bugged the shit out of Sinclair so he’d let me know.” he admitted with a soft laugh.

“You asked about me…?”

“Yeah… you’re all I’ve been thinking about.”

You bite your lip, swallowing when you realized just how tight your throat felt. You’re unsure of how to respond without giving into him, until you catch a glimpse of his necklace on your bedside table.

“Oh uhm… you came here to get this back.” you murmur, padding over to the nightstand to grab it and bring it over to him. Eddie stares at the pick in your palm before looking at you with sad amusement.

“The necklace wasn’t really what I was interested in coming back for…” he admits with a soft chuckle, eyeing you as his smile falters. “Keep it.”

“But it’s your-”

“Keep it. Please.”

The moment is bittersweet, and you’re thinking about what it would be like if you really gave him a chance to prove he’s being honest with you tonight, but you’re too fearful to take that chance. You do hold onto the necklace though.

“Good night, Eddie.”

taglist: @mynameismothra @angelina16torres-blog @tlclick73 @elvendria @psychospore @daisyridleyyyy @sidthedollface2 @kelsiegrin @swiss-cheeze @darknesseddiem @magnificantmermaid @hazydespair @bonehead-playz @stephanie-nicks76 @madaboutjoe @homiesexual-or-homosexual @neobanguniverse @prestinalove @galaxyfxcs @canyonmooncreations @hereforshmut @ediewentmissing @sadest-bookshelf @harlowsgirl @damon-loves-pie @stardustmunson @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @bitchyseawitch @littlered0000

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things x reader #as if eddie munson #bully!eddie munson #mean!eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #as if angst #as if part 4 #as if eddiessluttywaist #eddie munson x y/n #eddie stranger things #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson angst

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

Text

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (PART THIRTEEN)

previous: twelve

next: fourteen

y/ndevils00

liked by lhughes_06, dougieham, and 127,337 others

y/ndevils00 fair warning ‼️ if you found tuesdays post sappy, you won’t wanna see tonight’s! okay! happy scrolling!

i wanna start tonight’s postgame by saying that i cannot express how proud i am of this team! my boys, my closest friends. you ended the regular season tonight by breaking the franchise record tonight for most wins in a single season! 52 wins, baby! and breaking the record for best single season turnaround in the NHL since the league switched to the 82 game schedule with a +49 point difference! you guys are the most talented, most hardworking, and most dedicated team of people that i’ve had the privilege of meeting.

we ended this game with an overtime win, 5-4! it may have been a hard start, but you turned it around in the 3rd!

we got TWO goals by uncle u-haula tonight! a tip-in by sheriff woody! and a goal by dj dougie-h! so proud of you guys!

lukey got his very first NHL point tonight with an assist on erik’s first goal of the night and i can confirm that i shed a few tears. my pretty baby also made his 98th point tonight with an assist on haulaback girl’s second goal of the night!

however, most importantly, lukey, my smush, got his very first NHL goal tonight with the game winning goal! which was the catalyst that got us that franchise record breaking 52nd win. AND he did it with an assist from his big brother, my bubs, jacky! making lil jizzy end this season with NINETY-NINE points!

i am so proud of you, smush! you played SO well tonight and i can’t wait to see you continue to take ass and kick names! i’m so proud to be your figurative (and hopefully eventually real) big sister <3

it’s been a hell of a season! let’s go to the playoffs, boys!

tagged ehaula, miles.wood44, dougieham, lhughes_06 and jackhughes

lhughes_06 thank you squishy ❤️ if i have anything to do with it, you’ll be my sister sooner rather than later

y/ndevils00 oh don’t make me cry again, i’ll get a headache!

y/ndevils00 i’m gonna cuddle you till death!

lhughes_06 i think i’d be okay with that

jackhughes i wouldn’t

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes this isn’t about you though, is it?

jackhughes i’m so insanely proud of you little bro! can’t wait to kill it with you for many years to come!

lhughes_06 thank you jacky! it’s a dream come true to play with you!

y/ndevils00 SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME CRY! YOU ASSHOLES!

jackhughes you wanna hear something babe?

y/ndevils00 oh god what?

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 can i tell her?

lhughes_06 go for it

jackhughes so, you know luke is giving his first goal puck to our dad. but luke asked the refs if he could keep the puck he made his first assist with, so he can give it to you

y/ndevils00 what? you’re not fucking with me are you? because jack i stg if this is a joke to you, then i’m gonna start dating trevor

jackhughes not a joke, baby

trevorzegras why was i brought into this? and jack, you’re not even concerned that she threatened that? i think your girl wants me 🤪

jackhughes @/trevorzegras oh please, you guys would rip each other’s heads off within the first 10 minutes of dating

john.marino97 back to no feature on the post but i’ll accept this one for luke

y/ndevils00 yeah, yeah. ya know i said plenty of nice things about the team! it’s not all about the pictures!

y/ndevils00 besides, you didn’t even play in this game

john.marino97 still would’ve been nice to be included >:( but thank you best friend number 3, i love you

y/ndevils00 okay let’s not get carried away here!

john.marino97 you’re insufferable

y/ndevils00 i love you too, bff number 2

john.marino97 📸

y/ndevils00 damnit!

dawson1417 thank you bff 3! love you! let’s take on the playoffs!

y/ndevils00 i love you too, bff number 1! you’re gonna smash it!

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 why does his “i love you” come easy?!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 i like to keep you on your toes 🤭

nicohischier thank you y/n/n! so glad to have you as our media manager!

y/ndevils00 awww 🫶 you still have to do the postgame interview

nicohischier fuck

jackhughes thank you sweet girl ❤️ so insanely lucky to have you in charge of our media. without you, i don’t know where i would be these past few years. thank you for being my best friend and my girlfriend (and yes, eventually my wife, i hope)

y/ndevils00 aww lil rizzy! YOU don’t have to do a postgame interview <3

jackhughes YES! suck it, hischier! @/nicohischier

y/ndevils00 i can still change my mind. don’t push your luck baby

jackhughes sorry babe, love you!

dougieham thanks y/n! it’s been an honor to work alongside you these past 2 seasons!

y/ndevils00 so glad i was given the opportunity to get you acclimated when you joined! love ya, doug!

jesperbratt thank you y/n! 😄 i’ve had lots of fun working with you!

y/ndevils00 please let me be your personal bodyguard. nobody will ever see me coming on the ice until i cross-check them for even looking at you the wrong way.

jesperbratt that’s nice! 🤍

_quinnhughes fun fact: y/n facetimed me crying after the game because “her smush won the game”. so proud of you lukey! you’re doing amazing man! keep up the great work!

y/ndevils00 that was supposed to stay between us, quinny! hope you have a good game though, fishy!

_quinnhughes thanks, sis!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes HE CALLED ME SIS! DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT?!

jackhughes i did, love! i see it! so happy for you!

lhughes_06 thanks bro! love ya!

#media management series <3 #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #nj devils #new jersey devils #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #nhl blurb #nhl imagine #quinn hughes #john marino #dawson mercer #jesper bratt

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indigovigilance · 7 months

Text

Sodom and Gomorrah: A Speculative Meta

on Ao3: Sodom and Gomorrah: A Speculative Meta

Sodom and Gomorrah is the story of a land so steeped in sin that many prayed to God for intercession, and God sent two angels to see for themselves if the rumors were true, and determine based on their testimony whether the cities should be destroyed.

In Season 1, we learn that Sandolphon was there, doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt. The way that Aziraphale talks about it, we are led to believe that he was there too, bearing unhappy witness to the destruction, his plastered-on smile faltering as his vision fades into the middle distance:

In this meta I am taking an alternate stance to the wonderfully presented interpretation by @queerfables in my speculation of what happened in Sodom and its relevance to the GO story arc overall, if canonized. I hope that readers will consider the merits of both arguments in their own formulations of Aziraphale and Heaven in the GO universe.

TW: discussions of homophobia, sexual assault, death & destruction

Verses are taken from this translation of Genesis, chapters 18 and 19.

Genesis 18

20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous

21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

(Notably, the allegations made against Sodom and Gomorrah are never discussed. It is simply left at “sin so grievous.” Though it seems like there may be more information in Genesis 12)

But God herself did not go down to Sodom, instead sending two angels. I, like queerfables, read this and quickly came to the conclusion that for GO narrative purposes, the two angels that God sent to Sodom were Aziraphale and Sandolphon, where the former is playing tour guide to the latter, who has the real authority in the situation.

Upon arrival, the angels are met by Lot; he invites them to stay with him. At first they refuse, saying they will stay in the square, but he insists.

Genesis 19

4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house.

5 They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we may know [have sex with] them.”

There is a lot of baggage to unpack from these two lines, especially in the 2023 context of politics in the Western hemisphere. Same-sex marriage is nearly ubiquitous, a near turnaround from only twenty years ago, but so is homophobic rhetoric, and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is cited a lot for those purposes. Intersectional communities of faith have done a lot of work to try to reinterpret these two verses, insisting that what God finds so abhorrent about the actions of the men of Sodom is not that they are homosexual but rather that they are attempting to gang-rape two newly arrived strangers in their city.

For the real world, this is a very important discussion and a solid position to maintain, if one wishes to defend the concept of a benevolent God who made homosexual, bisexual, transgender, and every other flavor of human as lovingly and intentionally as was made every cisgender heterosexual person.

But we’re not talking about real-world God. We’re talking about the God in Good Omens. And She is not a very nice person.

We have only to look at the contract that would allow the murder and then replacement of Job’s children, or the abject poverty under which Elspeth suffers that forces her to commit [apparent] atrocities, and ultimately drive her to attempt suicide. Whatever your feelings may be about the God of our shared meatspace, the God of Good Omens is not a character we are meant to admire, sympathize with, or make excuses for.

Returning to Sodom in the Good Omens universe.

I propose that it is thematically in keeping that the men of Sodom were not attempting to commit gangrape, but rather, they saw Sandolphon and fell in love on the spot. Because yes, Aziraphale is a fine scholarly-looking fellow, but it’s approximately 2000 B.C., the Bronze Age. Sodom and Gomorrah are most likely agrarian societies, and Sandolphon looks like he could throw a bale of hay like a javelin. He’s a whole lot of man, and the men of Sodom are into it. I mean, c'mon, Paul Chahidi in some biblical garb, is, uhh...

...not an eyesore, iykwim. [image source: imdb.com]

So they go to Lot’s house and ask if they can see this man, in hopes that they can ask him on a date. They are smitten by Sandolphon. Sure, the ultimate goal may be to have sex with them, but not right there on Lot’s doorstep, and the gross misquoting can be attributed to Sandolphon’s own libelous report of events, not to the Sodomites themselves. History is written by the victors, after all.

While we’re at it, let’s consider Lot’s response:

Genesis 19

6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him

7 and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing.

8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

In the true spirit of Good Omens comedy, I can envision Lot walking out among these men, complaining that not one of them has asked permission to court or marry either of his daughters of maritable age, and perhaps rather than simping for his houseguest, perhaps they would consider dating one of them instead. Is it homophobic? Sure, but I’m not here to defend Lot; he doesn’t need it. Because standing next to Sandolphon, he’s an absolute poppet.

(The remaining stanzas regarding the Sodomites breaking into Lot’s house, I am going to selectively set aside and chalk that up to Sandolphon blowing some Sodomite choice statements about Lot being a homophobic asshole way out of proportion.)

Sandolphon, a True Believer, is not about to stand for this insult to his heavenly purity. Angels do not have relations with humans, and to insinuate that he would even consider it is blasphemy. He takes it as a personal insult that the Sodomites would propose such a thing. He finds this to be evidence enough that the Sodomites are truly corrupt and worthy of destruction.

I feel the need to emphasize here that while this contains some distinctly queer themes, Sandolphon is not angry because they are men; he is angry because they are human, a different species from himself (in the same way that angels are different species from demons), and furthermore that anything resembling love the way humans do it is disgusting and vile to him.

Aziraphale, meanwhile, is standing helplessly on the sidelines, desperately trying and failing to de-escalate the situation. But it’s no use, Sandolphon has already made up his mind. There’s nothing left for Aziraphale to do but to try to save as many people as he can, beginning with Lot and his family.

Genesis 19

12 The two [angels] said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here—sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here,

13 because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the Lord against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”

Again, in the fashion that GO takes liberty with biblical narrative, I propose that it is Aziraphale alone who warns Lot that Sandolphon will destroy Sodom come sunrise, and sends him out into the night to gather his family and get them out as quickly as possible. I propose, additionally, that Aziraphale is the one who leads Lot and his daughters by the hand out of Sodom and then protects the village of Zoar from destruction so that they can take shelter there.

Genesis 19:

15 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished.”

16 When he hesitated, the [angels] grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them.

17 As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, “Flee for your lives! Don’t look back, and don’t stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!”

18 But Lot said to them, “No, my lords,[or singular, lord] please!

19 Your[singular] servant has found favor in your[singular] eyes, and you[singular] have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can’t flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I’ll die.

20 Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it? Then my life will be spared.”

21 He said to him, “Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of.

22 But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it.” (That is why the town was called Zoar.[“small”])

While yes, this is a fictional interpretation of a biblical scripture, let’s take something from the fact that Lot is supposed to be addressing two angels, but the pronouns he uses to do so are all singular in the original Hebrew: that is to say, it seems like he is only talking to one angel. So in the victor-edited retrospective, the story is written to seem like two angels were rescuing him, but from the faithfully quoted words of his own mouth, it was only one. It seems like Sandolphon tried to write himself in as one of the good guys but couldn't bring himself to actually change the words that were coming from Lot's mouth. (Again, this is unnecessary work to do for the biblical narrative to be molded to a GO narrative, but it is an interesting feature of the original text nonetheless.)

At sunrise, the destruction begins:

Genesis 19

23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land.

24 Then the Lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the Lord out of the heavens.

25 Thus [S]he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.

26 But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

So goes the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah: The cities are slandered before God, who sends Aziraphale and Sandolphon to investigate; Sandolphon is so incensed by human men flirting with him that he determines that the city shall be destroyed in the morning, and Aziraphale races against the clock to save as many as he can, knowing that he cannot save everyone. He bears witness as the men who resemble himself so much, who committed no greater crime than to seek out a forbidden love, perish in a rain of fire and brimstone. He must feign heavenly delight that a sinful blight was erased from the world, while mourning thousands of lost souls. He wonders if they have been sent to Hell. Even Lot’s wife, whose only crime was to question, to wonder what is behind her and perhaps regret leaving it behind, is turned to salt. He sees the vicious glee of Sandolphon exacting his revenge for the crime of impugning his celestial celibacy. He wonders what Sandolphon would do to him if he ever found out about the stirrings in his heart for a demon who, 500 years prior, had sat beside him on a rock, looking out over sea, comforting him as he nursed his wounded faith. He wonders just how far along with Heaven he can go, and what the consequences will be when he dares to say, “I will go no further.”

~~~

[image source: Wessex Archaeology]

For those who (like me) are interested, the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah seems to have been merged from two historical events, which was common in a period preserved primarily by oral history. The tale seems to resemble a volcanic event that occurred nearby and around that time, but Sodom and Gomorrah were most likely destroyed by an earthquake and a subsequent flood, since they were located in the Jordan Plain, the lowest dry land in the world, a full quarter of a mile below sea level at its lowest, and very near the Dead Sea. Additionally, the area is rich in bitumen, sulfur-rich near-surface petroleum deposits that, when disturbed by a major earthquake, may have sent hot tar flying into the air, which if it landed on anything flammable would give the impression that fire and brimstone were raining down.

✨ the more you know ✨

~~~

Blending together the biblical canon and archaeological speculation, I'm going to make a wild, unsubstantiated proposal that Crowley turns the people of Sodom into fish so that they survive the flood. Because one biblical flood was enough, and he'd heard around the water cooler that She had promised not to do that again (lying liar). This creates a tentative connection with the raining fish we see in the title credits of both seasons, and I'm also going to reference it in an upcoming meta.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziraphale #sandolphon #sodom and gomorrah #ivoc #textpost #long post

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fatalism-and-villainy · 6 months

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While talking to @menciemeer, something came up re: Jack’s motivations for being in Italy in season 3 that I haven’t seen discussed much - and that is that he’s explicitly there not to catch Hannibal, but to save Will. Here’s his dialogue with Pazzi in Secondo:

Jack: If he hasn’t already, Il Mostro will return to Florence. Pazzi: Come back with me. We have a chance to regain our reputations and enjoy the honours of our trade by capturing the monster. Jack: I’m not here for the monster. Not my house, not my fire. I’m here for Will Graham.

This is even more striking in light of the context for his character that the very next episode gives us - his conversation with Chilton in Aperitivo establishes that he’s been forced into retirement with the FBI, but he’s not interested in regaining his standing or reputation. (Very odd in light of the fact that come the Red Dragon plot, he seems to still have his old job in Behavioral Science). Chilton tries to get him to use Will as bait to find Hannibal:

Chilton: Will is going to lead you right to him. Jack: Oh, no, he’s not. Not to me. I’ve let them both go. I’ve let it all go. Chilton: You dangle Will Graham and now you cut bait? You’re letting Hannibal have him hook, line, and sinker. Jack: You’ll excuse me, Dr. Chilton. I like to be home in the evenings when my wife wakes.

What stands out about this exchange is Chilton’s “letting Hannibal have him” phrasing. It foregrounds not subduing Hannibal, but preventing Will from succumbing to his worst impulses, as a central motivation for Jack in 3A. It’s also significant that it’s his need to care for Bella that leads him to defer pursuing anything relating to Hannibal or Will, because her death is framed within the episode as the impetus for his investment in following Will to Europe - as he tells Will in the funeral scene, “you don’t have to die on me, too.”

So much of Jack’s character arc in the first two seasons is juggling his repeated sacrifice of others for the greater good. His guilt over what befalls both Will and Miriam features prominently in season 2, and during Will’s trial, he’s already prepared to put his career and reputation on the line to stand up for Will and atone for what he feels is his role in Will’s downfall. Both the traumatic events of Mizumono and Bella’s death bring about more of a full turnaround in that direction - Jack becomes less invested in apprehending killers in service of public safety, and more invested in saving the specific person who’s been harmed by that project.

I think this motivation doesn’t always stick in people’s minds because these exchanges get eclipsed by Jack beating Hannibal to a bloody pulp a couple episodes later, as well as his inexplicable return to working for the FBI in 3B. But even in the former altercation, his fight with Hannibal feels personal, more about venting anger and grief than actually apprehending Hannibal. In Dolce, when Will asks why Jack didn’t kill Hannibal, Jack responds “maybe I need you to” (in the same exchange, of course, as “you need to cut that part out”). That scene also establishes clearly that Will and Jack are, like Pazzi, “outside the law and alone.” As in Mizumono, they’re effectively vigilantes - and Jack’s mission is not serving justice for the FBI, but in saving Will from Hannibal’s influence.

This is why, despite the fact that Jack is once again embroiled in FBI business in season 3B, I always envision his role post-canon as being a continuation of what haunts him in the first half of the season - less about catching or killing Hannibal than about rescuing Will. It’s a lot more compelling to me, at least, than him simply continuing to be the face of law enforcement.

#hannibal meta #hannibal #jack crawford #will graham #hannibal season 3 #i think a lot about how hannibal embodies and brings out everyone's worst impulses #but will is... more of a mixed bag. and brings out both alana and jack's saviour impulses at various points #(though of course for alana that impulse was itself a double edged sword)#and how that might play out in season 4. with players both old and new #also god laurence's delivery of 'i'm not here for the monster' is sooooo good #i mean. all of his lines really #my meta #hannibal talk #queue

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adachimoe · 8 months

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How clueless is Yukiko anyway?

Early in the game, when we're introduced to Yukiko's character, we're given the impression that she has good academics and grades, but she comes off as something of an airhead who isn't aware of the attention she gets from boys.

For example, when Mitsuo tries to ask her out, she seems clueless about what he was after:

The on-looking students even make a remark about the "Amagi Challenge":

These are your first scenes with Yukiko in the game, and it informs your first impression of her. There being an "Amagi Challenge" especially tells the player that she just shoots down guys left and right. But I think the game hints at her being not so clueless, and that what you initially perceive as cluelessness is an act.

I touched on this briefly in the post about "Teddie and Scoring", but when Yukiko appears on the Midnight Channel, her Shadow self announces that she's going to "ナンパ (nanpa)... 「逆ナン (gyakunan)」":

ナンパ is like saying hitting on, picking up, flirting, etc. But it's typically talking about guys trying to pick up girls. Yukiko's Shadow pauses, then corrects herself to say 逆ナン instead. 逆ナン is a combination of ナンパ and the character for reversal/turnaround/etc.

tl;dr = ナンパ is "guy pursues girl", whereas 逆ナン is a reversal of that, so "girl pursues guy".

Let's remind ourselves of what the Shadows are: They poke at very real insecurities that the Investigation Team has, but they manifest as practically caricature-like versions of the people they're based on. Then we're told in December that Shadows hate the truth, and the moment when humans want to see the truth is what makes Shadows go nutso and attack.

When you think about how the game plays out, then the Shadows attack the Investigation Team because the "You're not me!" is the brief moment when humans yearn for the truth. It's a truthful enough statement to torment the Shadows, causing them to lash out.

In the case of Yukiko, her Shadow proclaiming she wants to 逆ナン seems to be part of the caricature-like nature of her Shadow that doesn't represent her. Case in point: Yukiko doesn't go around Inaba hitting on dudes as a way to escape. Perfectly sound logic.

At the beginning of this post, I asked if Yukiko really is clueless about all of this. Considering how her Shadow says "ナンパ" then corrects itself to "逆ナン", I think her Shadow's use of these phrases indicates Yukiko does understand that men are hitting on her. Even if her Shadow is a caricature, her own insecurities and experiences are real.

As we see, people in town are reaaaaaaally not subtle about how horny they are for a 16 year old girl. It's not just boys her age who do this to her, it's random TV reporters and even her own teacher who treat her like this. She is constantly being objectified:

If her Shadow is going on about ナンパ and 逆ナン, and she actually does know what is being said to her, then it seems from the scene on April 12th that Yukiko's way of dealing with this objectification is to just... feign ignorance.

I think you can also assume that one of her other solutions to this is, "Let Chie do something about it". We're not shown this directly, but we get the impression that Chie sometimes deals with these guys herself, and this must be a recurring thing if there's a meta game recommended strategy about talking to Yukiko alone:

And this is probably why her Shadow brings up Chie as a prince figure:

If Yukiko knows she's being hit on and is more aware of these situations than she lets on, then what is this about Chie? Less than genuine helplessness and reliance, it feels more like she is intentionally making her problems become Chie's problems. But Yukiko has a new struggle due to Mayumi Yamano's visit and death, called "managing the ryokan while having no idea what the hell you're doing and also being a high school student". Which is why Chie is no longer qualified to be her Shadow's prince: Ultimately, Yukiko can't make the ryokan also become Chie's problem.

As the game goes on past Yukiko's Castle, there are scenes where I think Yukiko responds differently than before her time in the TV and before everyone saw her Shadow, and I think they lend to the idea that yeah she did know all along.

For example, Yosuke wants her help academically and mentions "private lessons". Yukiko interprets this as something inappropriate. She doesn't bother to ask him what he means by that and reacts by slapping him, insisting that her hand simply moved on its own:

Like how the news reporter and even her teacher acted, in this scene we're also told that ryokan visitors say inappropriate shit to her.

There's also the scene Yosuke tries to get Yukiko's phone number, and Chie mentions that Yosuke calls her to tell her dirty jokes. Yukiko does a thousand yard "......." stare before changing the subject entirely and not giving him a response:

(I've read an interpretation that Yukiko repeatedly acts dismissive to Yosuke because Chie likes him and he's oblivious. I'm not into that pairing, but I get where they're coming from cause early 2000s media did have some "two people bickering with one another means they're going to get married and have 4 kids" type of shit going on.)

Yukiko also reacts when she sees Kanji has an anime nosebleed. She's the one who pushes him into the water, not Chie:

Compare these scenes from after the TV world with how she treats Yosuke and Mitsuo on April 12th, before anything with the TV happens. Yosuke says he tried to ask her out before and got shut down, and she acts like she isn't sure what he's talking about:

While she ends up shooting him down (again), she actually bothers replying to him (as well as Mitsuo), she doesn't get physical, and she shows her fake reliance on Chie by asking Chie what Mitsuo wanted anyway.

You'd think if that she was genuinely oblivious about these interactions with boys as she's shown to be in April, then would her Shadow even know what ナンパ is? And in the May and June scenes, wouldn't she be asking questions like, "What does he mean by 'private lessons'" or "Hey Chie, why is Kanji's nose bleeding?" (which would then lead to Chie pushing Kanji in).

And the culmination of all of this is her response to the reporter who wants to film her bathing in the onsen and offer "all day menus" (99% sure this means "turn the ryokan into a soapland"). Rather than continue to make things Chie's problems or expect Chie to do something or pretend like she has no idea what's being said, Yukiko -- having seen a caricature of herself -- takes her own initiative.

...buuut this raises another question. Even if Yukiko is aware of when dudes are being gross to her, what about the other moments where she seems completely oblivious...?

Is she only aware of the interactions with guys because of how frequently they happen? Or is she actually a master of deadpan humor who is perfectly aware during scenes like this too?

#persona 4 #yukiko amagi #chie satonaka #yosuke hanamura #日本語ヘタです #I think the best thing about Yukiko is how she seems to be fucking deranged underneath that Yamato Nadeshiko haircut #In Asia food is used as a language of love and affection which completely explains why Yukiko's food can murder people #She could have killed Adachi with her curry (he'd've fallen for it because it's a girl offering him homecooked food)#Then the inaba serial murders would've went unsolved and no one would've ever known the truth #Izanami would be standing at the gas station like “yeah that's a thing that happened all right”

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stayandot8 · 2 months

Text

Chapter Four: Just One Yesterday

"If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention..."

Genre: angst

Relationship type: established gf/bf

Important Contents: bar setting, so mentions of alcohol, chris is a lowkey-highkey dick, swearing as usual, 18+, mentions of dr*gs, death of a child (if i miss any, please let me know)

a/n: well. it's been a long time coming but here we are, at the end of it all. thank you to everyone who has read this series. i've put quite a bit of work into this and i hope you enjoy it. if you were hoping for a happy ending tied up with a bow, i'm sorry to disappoint you. but this was the ending i decided on a while ago and it feels right to me. so. sorry if you hate, but not sorry actually. thank you to those who encouraged me to keep writing this, you know who you are. thank you for the motivation because my ADHD was close to taking over and i was ready to quit this. i'm glad i didn't. but anyways.

thank you.

-Sparkles

WC: 11.8k

last part l masterlist

“Come on, Chan! Won’t you play with me for just a minute?”

We were all sitting around, brushing glass off the ripped booth seats. The stuffing from inside them was scattered around us, Jeongin trying his best to sweep what he could from around where we had gathered in the corner. His face was creased with frown lines.

“Innie, your face will freeze like that.” It was my best attempt at a joke to lighten the mood. Jeongin returned it with his attempt at a half-hearted smile and kept sweeping, gathering pieces of glass with every stroke.

There was another long pause of silence. Hyunjin huffed and continued surveying everything around him with the same pained expression Jeongin was wearing. Changbin was staring at his feet while Felix was sitting between them and was laying his head on each of their shoulders. He would alternate between the two when the other was moving too much. This was the most solemn I had ever seen him. He had checked online to see if any other places in town had been hit with a break-in, but none were reported. So he resolved to be here for moral support for anyone who needed him, which was the two he was between at the moment.

Minho was just plain pissed. He had gone missing for the time being, off to recover the camera footage from the ones he had put in. He hadn’t said a word to anyone, opting for the silent treatment. Chris just looked terrified. He was leaning against what was left of the bar and staring at the words on the wall behind it, saying something to himself over and over, just barely audible if anyone were to listen. Shaking his head at the spray painted words and fidgeting his fingers, picking at his cuticles. It was a complete turnaround from the man I had seen over the last few weeks. That one had been confident and ambitious, his wit sharp and his mind in the zone of whatever he was doing. But the one that was standing across the room… He was small, with the weight of the world on his chest, not just his shoulders. And it would crush him if he let it.

Han was sitting beside me, holding a large rock in his lap and staring at it. We had assumed that was what they had used to break in without a key, whoever they were. Han was staring at it like he felt sorry for it,

“It never asked to be used like that.”

“That’s the strangest reaction I’ve ever heard.” And that was that.

Seungmin had disappeared with Minho, looking at the outward damage and taking notes and pictures for the insurance company. He had sprung to action after Minho stormed off, the only other one thinking logically about the next steps. When someone offered to help, he would shoo them away and say he had everything he needed.

I wasn’t saying much, trying to break up the long silences with something here and there. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t help anyone, no one needed anything. So I sat, trying to sort out the emotions I felt that someone had broken in and destroyed the only place I had ever called a home. It had to be someone with a grudge of some kind, something against someone here. I thought of asking everyone to come up with a list of anyone they could think of with enough motive to do something like this.

Next thing we know, three cop cars pull into our parking lot. Three burly men and a younger one got out of them and carefully looked over the place before asking for someone. Seungmin went up to them and started telling them everything they needed to know; we had all just come back from vacation to find this and we had no suspects. Minho had come storming in from the office, holding his laptop under his arm. It was closed and he was still looking pissed, so it was safe to assume he didn’t find anything of use. I shot him a questioning look in case he looked my way, which he did but glanced over me and headed straight outside to the police. They conferred for a while and we all just watched them in silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chris wipe his eyes and head out the back door..

“Help me… It hurts… Why does it hurt?...”

“Shhh Danny, it’s okay. Don’t talk, it’ll only make it hurt worse.”

“Chan… It hurts…”

“Hey.” I touched him gently on the shoulder, the cigarette that appeared out of nowhere was dangling from his fingertips. He hadn’t lit it yet, but the lighter was in his other hand. He was staring at the sidewalk, lost in thought. When he finally glanced over, his lip was quivering. He looked shaken. “Where did you get those?” He wiped his nose with his hand and sniffed.

“I hid them back here just in case I would need them. This would be…one of those times.” I was confused. “It’s all my fault.” He took a shuddering breath and let it out, staring at the sky.

“What are you talking about?”

“I did this. I brought them here.” He whispered to me.

“Brought who here?”

“They found me once and now they’ve come back to get their revenge. It’s all my fault.”

“Are you talking about those guys I saw you with that night?” He nodded slowly.

“I ignored them when they reached out and this is what I’ve done. To everyone. I put everyone in danger.” His eyes had welled up and his breathing was frantic. “It’s exactly like you said would happen. I should’ve left when you caught me.”

“Chris…”

“No, I should have. I was stupid for thinking this would be far enough to keep them away. For thinking I could forget every decision I’ve made until now. All my choices have finally caught up to me and now…” The first tears had now made streams on his cheeks. “Now someone else has paid the price. Again.”

I didn’t know what to say after that. Something in me told me there was nothing I could’ve said to him in that moment that would’ve comforted him or brought him an ounce of peace. So I just stood there beside him while he cried and thought about…whatever he was thinking about.

We just leaned against the fence in mutual silence, the unlit cigarette still in between his fingertips. After another moment, he tossed it on the ground and turned on his heel.

“I’m going for a walk. I’ll see you later.” I nodded to his back as his muscles shifted beneath his t-shirt. I probably should have asked where he was going, and in hindsight I definitely should have.

After Seungmin and Minho were done with the police, they sent us all home so they could speak with anyone who might have seen anything. We were all too frustrated to do much of anything so we all met up at Felix’s bakery. He said a sweet treat might help us lift our spirits. So everyone minus Chris sat in the summer heat outside smelling the baked goods being prepared for us. Felix had closed down shop while we were gone so the place was empty, some people walking by were craning to see if the open sign was turned. It was not; it still read CLOSED.

Everyone was just as defeated as they were when we left, except now with plates of pastries in front of them, uneaten. Minho was staring at a danish on an orange plate as if his combined powers of will would lift it into his mouth if he wished it hard enough. When he decided it wouldn’t work, he just slouched further into his metal chair and sighed.

“This is fucking ridiculous.” He tilted his head to watch the clouds go by. “Who turned off the cameras before we left?”

“No one did. They had to have turned them off right before they did it. We have the footage of us leaving and the days after. They shut off right before the vandalism. Whoever it was must have known where they were to turn them off.” Hyunjin was being surprisingly serious about this whole thing. When he let it out, he was actually quite smart. “So if we know they were turned off, that means they knew that we had them.”

“Every restaurant worth their talent has cameras now. That’s not really an unknown fact.” Changbin chimed in. “These people knew exactly how to turn them off. We had nothing. They just… cut out.”

“Then wouldn’t they have to have known their way in and around to find the switch?” Jeongin piped up.

“Yes. They would have.” Minho responded. “And no one has ever told anyone anything about our camera system?”

“It’s not really something that comes up with the two other friends I have other than you guys.” Han said sarcastically. “Not really a hot topic with the young crowd.” Minho rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair.

“I just don’t understand…” He rambled on to those who were listening while others picked at whatever pastry was in front of them. I let my mind wander to where Chris might have ran off to.

It was like trying to put together a puzzle without the edges: it was hard to pick a place to start. What had he rushed off to do? Was there something he needed to do right then and there? It didn’t have to do with me, did it? I wasn’t sure. I thought about sending him a quick text just to check in, but from how he looked before he ran off, he needed space and time. And I’d give him what he needed, just like he did for me.

“So what do we do while everything gets back in order? Twiddle our thumbs?” It was the first time Seungmin had spoken to us directly since we got to Felix’s place.

“No. You rebuild.” Felix piped up. “You get in there and clean it up and you move on. You don’t let it get to you, no matter where it came from. You do the work and you take the time that you need to move forward. All of you.” He looked us all in the eyes, going from one to the next, holding it there so we would know he meant every word he said. Felix was good at that, saying the words people needed to hear and being sincere with all of it. It was one of his many superpowers.

The only way through this ordeal was through. There were no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. We would find the people who did this and hold them responsible. We’d pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move along just like we always had.

“Think of it this way: now you can repaint it!” Felix, ever the bright-sided one, continued to point out all the things Minho could change now that it had been ‘taken care of for him’ until Minho stopped looking so downtrodden. The others were softly smiling at Felix with a look of wonder at how someone could be so positive and pick up the ones around him without fail.

“So.” I sighed. “Onwards, then.”

“But I don’t want this one, Chan. I want chocolate.”

“I know, Danny, but that one’s too high. I can’t reach it.” “What do you mean? You can do anything, Channie!”

It was late by the time I got back home, well past midnight. My dark apartment had long been quiet since I didn’t even have a chance to get home when he sent us. I’d gone looking for Chris only to come up empty handed. My bags were so heavy I left them in the entryway and stumbled onto my couch to lay down. I fell straight into the pillow and had one last thought before I fell asleep.

Me: Wherever you ran off to, I hope you’re okay. Come back when you’re ready. I hope that’s soon.

The alleyways He chose always stank of mildew. The rain tonight didn’t help. Everything was slick with water and nothing would chase away the stench of wet pavement, no matter how hard the car exhaust tried. Of course He chose tonight of all nights, when Danny wouldn’t sleep and begged to come with him wherever he was going. He had to beg him to stay in bed with a promise of pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, loaded with everything he could think of, if he would just stay in bed.

These were the thoughts that plagued him as He showed himself for the first time that night. His usual fur coat had been switched for a slick black trenchcoat to block out the rain, but the rest of His attire was the same. His dark denim hadn’t started sticking to his legs yet, but it was sure to start now that He was out from the safety of His chauffeur-driven car.

The pounding at my door startled me from my slumber with a jolt. I rubbed my eyes, my vision still fuzzy, and blinked until everything cleared. I shook my head as I stood up to stare through my peephole at a frazzled-looking Chris, his face flushed and pale and panting so loud I could hear it through the door, which I unlocked. His attention snapped to me and we locked eyes for a moment. His eyes were wild, more so than I’d ever seen before.

“Chris?” I said lowly, voice groggy. “What time is it?” The more I looked at him, the more panicked I became. “Chris, what’s wrong?” His chest was rising and falling more rapidly now, like he couldn’t control it.

“I fucked up. I fucked up big time.” I felt my eyes grow wider.

“You better come inside.” I gestured him in.

He brushed past me and went straight for the couch, sitting on what I was just sleeping on. He bounced a little, letting himself drop onto it like I had. His eyes now were staring blankly at the TV on the wall, like he was merely looking into it. I waited until his breathing had slowed back to a semi-normal pace before offering him some water which he took. He held onto it like it was the only thing tying him to reality, like everything would shatter if he let go of that glass. I watched him grip it, his stare still blank. I let him sit there for however long he needed.

After what felt like ages, and a few jerks awake from me, he finally spoke.

“It was them.”

“What was them? Who is them?”

“The guys who came after my dad and then me. They trashed the place. It was me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“They gave me a warning and I ignored it. I thought they were empty threats. I should’ve known better.”

“You thought a drug lord you used to work with would make empty threats?”

“I know. It was a stupid thought and I should have known better.”

“You have to tell Minho.” He sighed.

“I know. But how? He’s the only one in this world who was willing to help me when things went to shit. How do I tell him that I betrayed him like this?”

“But how did you betray him? It’s not your fault they broke in, they made that choice themselves.”

“But I brought them here to do that. I led them straight here. They robbed him and broke everything because of me. Because I told them to leave me alone. And this is what happens when you fuck with the wrong people.” He grabbed a pillow and held it to his face and screamed. And screamed and screamed. I only placed a hand on his back for comfort, unsure of what to say. He screamed until his voice went hoarse and they dissolved into quiet tears. “It can’t happen again. Not again. Not again.”

I wasn’t sure what to do, if there was anything I could do that would console him enough to calm him down. So I got up, filled my kettle, and let him heave all of these emotions onto me, ready to catch them and hold them with him. He asked why I was willing to, he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to carry a burden that wasn’t theirs.

“Because…that’s what keeps us alive. Sharing our burdens so they’re not…as heavy. It doesn't make the pain stop, it doesn’t make everything better again, but it lightens the load you have to carry everyday. That load only gets heavier and heavier with each passing day, but your friends and loved ones are there to take some of it off and help you to carry it. It might not make the most sense right now, but I promise it will. But you have to help us to help yourself. You have to decide who you trust enough to help you carry the weight. You trusted me enough to tell me about Daniel. And I’m grateful you did. But it’s up to you who to give that trust to.”

“The only people I’ve trusted I had to abandon.”

“Well, there’s only one way to break that curse… If you let us. All in your own time. Don’t push it until you’re ready.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

“Then I’m okay with being the one to help you lift.”

When I woke up, we were bundled together on my couch, our empty mugs forgotten on the coffee table. I blinked, my arms wrapped around Chris’s sleeping form moving up and down steadily in time with his chest. I was laying on him and I craned my neck up, wanting to watch him sleep just a little longer.

He looked restless. His eyebrows were scrunched even more than they were when he first came to my door last night, like he was having a nightmare. And with all the thoughts that our conversation last night brought up, I’m sure he was reliving it all in his mind’s eye. I wasn’t sure if I should wake him or not, but he saved me from deciding when I heard him grunt and scrunch his eyes until they opened. He looked around until he remembered where he was then glanced down at me, his tired lips curving upwards.

“Morning.” I whispered.

“Morning.” He whispered back.

“How are you feeling? Any different?”

“Not really. But waking up next to you is nice. I could get used to that.”

“You don’t have to say that just because you’re in my apartment, you know. You can tell me if my morning breath is that bad.” He was avoiding the subject and I was going to let him. He’d been through enough for one night.

“It wasn’t that bad last night and it isn’t now either.” A soft chuckle from him and a small weight was lifted from my chest. It was nice to hear him laugh after last night.

“Oh please.” I laughed and threw off the blanket. “I’m going to shower and brush my teeth.” He started rising from the couch too and I spun to throw him a raised brow. “And where are you going?”

He looked like a kid caught trying to run away, but with his body turned toward the direction I was heading, he wasn’t doing that exactly. Instead he froze, looked at me, and slowly sat back down. I rolled my eyes, the smile never leaving my face.

“You can come pick out a toothbrush and then brush your teeth in the kitchen sink.”

I'll give him whatever distraction he needs to get through this, I told myself. I’ll give him what he needs and then when he’s ready, he’ll come to me.

Won’t he?

From the hallway I hear

“But why can’t I brush my teeth in there?”

Yeah. He will.

“Do you have what I asked for, kid?”

“This has to stop now. This is the last deal I’m doing for you. I’m done.”

He never liked mincing words. What He wanted from His dealers was a quick cut to the chase. He valued directness. He tried doing that, but this was pushing it. He had to keep it quick to get back home. Make his point, sever ties, and get home. That was what he kept repeating to himself as he spoke.

“You think you can get away that easy? You should know better than that. No one escapes The Cartelic. This shit is for life.”

“And what if I made a deal with you?”

That first day of repairs was.

“This place is a wreck.”

“Well spotted, Binnie.”

“Hey! I was just saying that this is going to take a while to do, even with the guys your dad hired.” Binnie glanced over at Minho apologetically, looking somehow adorable in his backwards hat and tank top. Minho just looked defeated the whole drive over. Myself, Minho, and Chris all packed into the car this morning to head to our hardware store to grab whatever we ourselves could do until the repairmen showed up, which included picking up the trash and broken things on the floor as well as sweeping up the broken glass everywhere. So we picked up about a billion boxes of trash bags and got to work, the other guys slowly appearing as the day went on.

Changbin was the last to arrive with Jeongin, walking over the remaining glass to our spot and clutching his bag on his shoulder.

“We came just in time to do the dirty work.” Changbin said with the fakest smile I had ever seen on anyone, including Hyunjin. Minho threw them both a pair of gloves.

“So get to dirty working.”

Repairs were slow. So slow. But at least they were happening.

Chris was over in the corner helping Hyunjin paint in the most adorable set of paint clothes I’d ever seen. Minho told Hyunjin he could paint something on the wall if he was on time for the next month. I didn’t know someone could look cute in clothes with tears and holes in them but there he was in basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. Every now and then, he would move in a way that would allow me to catch a peak of his skin. It made me feel like I was back in the Victorian age when the sight of a woman’s ankles sent men into a tizzy. What is wrong with me…

I shook my head and turned back to the wall I was putting plaster on with Felix. He didn’t have to help, but that’s just who he was. He wouldn’t miss a chance to help a friend when it really counted. His bright blue hair was tied back in a half up, half down style keeping most of the loose strands out of his face. The few that fell out were perfectly placed as if he pulled them out himself. Life was so unfair sometimes…

Hyunjin and Chris were talking about something I couldn’t quite hear, then Hyunjin’s voice came in clear as day to my ears.

“You know, me and Han weren’t always the glowing twins we are now. We fought in the beginning.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we used to be at each other’s throats. He had a lot of pent-up anger when I first met him. But we actually met before we both started working here. We used to dance together in a group before we got this job. He would tell me all these things I needed to work on while he would be messing up just the same as me.”

“Han had pent-up anger?”

“Oh yeah. He would pick fights with almost everyone until he got his shit figured out. It took some serious sit-downs to talk it out. I had to bribe him to come with me.”

“So bribery does work on him.”

“Ha. Yeah, especially when he knows deep down he needs to chill out. We met up at a cafe nearby, Felix’s place actually. We talked about nothing for about five minutes, and then I just laid it all out. I told him that something had to give and it wasn’t going to be me. Then I tried to level with him, said we didn’t have to be best friends but if we were going to work together, then it had to, at least, be cordial. Minho was there, saw our…potential, I guess, and had us come in for interviews. Now here we are.”

It was true, I remembered Minho telling me the story. He appreciated how they were talking it out outside of the group by themselves. He had just fired his whole restaurant because of the environment they had created amongst themselves and he was over it. He wanted to start from scratch. And he did. And did it well. He already had me on board, he just needed everyone else.

“Han isn’t like that now. Now he knows that we’re all here for him. We’ve learned how to handle issues with him, if there are any. But there are rarely issues with us all now. We all came to just trust that if one of us has a problem, we’ll come to them with it.”

Chris thought about this a moment as he continued painting. I wondered what he was thinking about.

After a full day of working on repairs with the guys Minho’s father called for the stuff we couldn’t do, Minho ordered food for everyone who worked. That was the real reason Changbin and Seungmin came, I later found out.

We were all spread out on the floor, now swept and mopped so we could walk around freely. Blankets were spread out for comfort, or so I was told. We were ‘testing out the new cushions’ for the new booths, as Hyunjin had pointed out when he refused to sit on the bare floor. Everyone else was scattered around with plates of various dishes.

I was watching Chris closer than I would ever admit to out loud. I was just worried about what all he was carrying with him in that head of his while he talked and listened. He was watchful and careful with his expression, not letting anything show about the worries he had come to me with. This troubled me the most. Why is he showing me and not them? I considered this. Was it because he felt safer with me? Did they give him some reason not to be trusted? What had happened between last week at my place and now? What was he thinking about?

“And that’s when I yelled at him that since we fight and yell so much, we might as well be a married couple! The blank stare I got back was so funny, ugh. I wish you all could have seen it.” Seungmin was wistfully staring at Minho now finished recanting the early days when they started planning the new menu together. Minho just shook his head, fighting the smile so as to keep his ‘bored’ exterior but we all knew the truth. He wouldn’t be Minho without Seungmin and he knew that.

“You were really getting on my nerves and it just shocked me that you would say something like that! I wasn’t expecting it. You kept suggesting we make a pairing menu for the beers and wines. I kept telling you you were crazy and that this is not that kind of place.” He finally cracked a smile to show off those bunny teeth I always made fun of.

“Well excuse me for trying to bring some class to this place.” Seungmin matched his grin.

Ever since we got back from our trip, I took every moment I could to really, really look at Minho. How he carried himself, how he interacted with others that he knew and those he did not. To anyone who had just met him, he could seem standoffish, cold even. But when it really came down to it, I think he has the biggest heart of us all. How he met Chris was the truest testament to that; helping a stranger when they needed an out of a bad situation. That was who Minho really was at his base. I hoped he found someone who could truly be his match some day.

“It’s not as bad as that one guy who came in to work for Felix. He was terrible!” Jeongin countered whatever they were talking about while I wondered.

“Oh no, HE was the worst.” Felix agreed. “He was always late, he was rude to customers, and never restocked before he left. I left him in charge of inventory for the back room one time and I was left without takeout boxes for two weeks! That’s more than half my business!” They all shook their heads, remembering the tales of when Felix would come in early because he had to close because of him. He was a real mess.

“That shouldn’t happen now, though.” Felix said to his now-empty plate. “I hired one girl who took the interview very seriously. Said she was trying to go to culinary school here and would ‘love the opportunity to get hands-on experience in baked goods’ or something. Beth is her name. You’ll start seeing her around the shop soon since she starts Monday.”

“That soon? Why didn’t you tell us you were hiring help?” Changbin asked with genuine curiosity.

“I don’t need to run every business decision by you, do I?” Felix retorted with a smile. “Besides, she sounds like she’ll really be a big help with the actual baking stuff. She’s eager to learn everything. It’ll be a nice change to have someone actually wanting to be there.”

“It sounds like you’ll have your hands full training someone new. I’m happy for you, Lix. Really. She sounds like she’ll really be a big help.” I hoped my sincerity shone through my words, By the look Felix gave back to me, it did.

“You guys should come meet her! Or should I bring her here?”

“”Give her a few days to get used to everything. Then let her in on the circus.” Chris piped up. “You guys can be a lot when you’re first meeting someone. Take it from the one who was last to join.”

“Oh come on, we’re not that bad.” I smirked at him, causing everyone to laugh. Chris shook his head as he laughed and while everyone was occupied with throwing away their trash, he threw me a wink.

“Do you want to come over? I made steak last night, it’s pretty good.”

Chris nodded, lowering his head to watch the pavement as we walked to my car. The otherwise abandoned parking lot was only lit by the one streetlamp adjacent, casting a dull glow on the summer night. The pavement must have been more interesting than whatever was going on around him because Chris stared at it the whole time, then rested his head on my headrest and watched the world go by as we drove back to my place. Something had shifted in him since we had left. When we pulled into my place, he made no move to get out. Only unbuckled his seatbelt and stared at his lap. I sat there and let him, not wanting to push him any more than he must have already felt. I knew if I felt exhausted, he had to as well.

We let the sounds of nightfall surround us while we sat. I wasn't sure how long we sat there until he broke the silence.

“I want to tell them.”

“Tell them what?”

“What I did.”

“And what did you do?” He looked at me, a flat expression gracing his eyes. Like I should know what he’s talking about. “Ah.” I let that sink in, weighing the words against my inner judgment, debating on giving advice or not. “What brought you to this conclusion?”

“These past few weeks…Mixed with the past couple months with all of them, I think I can trust them. I don’t want to tell them, but I feel like I need to. They deserve to know.”

“Why do they need to know? You don’t even know if it was them, Chris-”

“But I do know. I just know. Who else could it have been?”

“Anyone. You’re not the only one with enemies. Maybe the only with with a drug lord on that list but…” It was a poke to try to get him to laugh. He didn't. “What happened? What made you change your mind?”

He didn’t answer. He chose that moment to unlock his door and get out of the car. I had no choice but to follow him up the yard and up the steps. In the stairwell upwards, he whispered quietly so it wouldn’t bounce off the walls.

“I don’t know. I just…trust them. Like I trust you.” He stood to the side to let me unlock the door, our arms brushing while I dug for my keys. Even with the heavy subject matter we were discussing and implying between the lines, that jolt of electricity still ran down my spine. I both hated and loved that our chemistry could withstand it all.

“I’m honored to have gained your trust so quickly. Are you sure you want to tell them?” As his friend, I wanted him to be sure he was confident in his decision. I knew it would kill him if he came to regret it later on, but I wasn’t sure he would. I trusted those boys with my life and then some, and if Chris had come to the same conclusion on his own, that meant even more.

“I do. I will soon.” He came in after me and settled on the couch, just like he had the first night he came to me after the incident. But his features were much more…peaceful this time. He looked rested, like the weight had lifted when he had decided he would tell them. Instead of simply hovering over the fence between fainting from stress and the verge of tears, he seemed relaxed. Likely because of his decision for peace over secrets, but I chose to believe it was because he felt better here, in my house.

“Good. Now help me with the steaks, yeah?”

“Your deal is no good here. Stupid to think that a child would have something I would want.”

“But what if I do?”

“And what could you possibly want in return, kid?”

“I want my father back.”

The bigger man laughed, his stomach jiggling as he did. “I forgot just how young you are. Are you still waiting for your father to come home? Pathetic.”

His hands shook as he clenched them, trying to keep his grip on his emotions. He knew that if He caught a whiff of any, he would be finished. So he reigned in his anger, centering himself to retort back.

“I expect nothing. Name your price and it’s done.”

“Your father was worth nothing, just like you. I want for nothing, unlike you. Your father will remain where we put him; six feet under.”

We laid in my bed, side by side, Chris’s fingers playing with mine and me, just watching while the light from the TV bounced around the room. Each time he glanced over to my face, I switched from watching his fingers back to the TV, fighting the grin dying to take over. I had to bite the inside of my cheek in order to do so, and he pretended not to notice when he went back to it. He would run the pads of his thumbs over my nails then down the length of my fingers, diving between them and then back up to the next. And he would start back over in the opposite direction, just resting and letting his mind wander wherever it was going.

I was barely paying attention to the game show he had put on while I was in the bathroom, distracted by the mindless but intentional sensory placater that was happening. It was as much for me as it was for him, not thinking about the days ahead or behind. Living for the now, as we had been advised to do. Remembering the past would only bring to the surface all of the pain that rested there. He could leave it there if he wanted or choose to lighten the load, give some to me until he was ready to share it with someone else. Whatever he was ready for, whenever.

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “Tell me what you thought when you first met me. What was going through your mind when you saw me walk in through those glass doors?” I finally moved my head to look at him straight on and saw curiosity staring back at me with a glimmer of something else simmering just below.

“What brings this on? Anything specific you want to hear?” He shook his head.

“No. I just want to hear your honest thoughts. Have to make sure I make a good impression.” I snorted.

“Yeah, okay.” I said sarcastically and paused to think back. “Obviously, you were shrouded in mystery. The way Minho brought you in was super weird. I don't know why he had to bring us all in first to ‘make sure we were on the same page’ before he brought you out to the front.”

“He was giving me a tour of the back rooms when you all arrived. He went out to see what all the ruckus was and he came back and said it was just you guys. Said that we should all meet before dinner service that night.”

“Yeah, Minho likes his people to work well together. Which, I say we’re doing a fantastic job so far.” I winked at him. “I remember thinking that you were going to shake things up from what we had known. That you were either going to be the best thing that would happen to us or…” I didn’t want to say ‘the worst’. I wanted to save his worries at least a little, those that I could control. “And I thought you were cute in your little backwards baseball hat. You had these little hairs sticking out in the back and they kinda looked like a little duck’s tail.”

“A duck’s tail?”

“Yeah. The way it flips upwards, it's adorable.”

“Oh I’m adorable, am I?”

“I didn’t say that.” I said quickly.

“Yes you did.” He said just as fast.

“Oh stop it. Don’t let it go to your head. You were a right little shit straight afterwards.”

“It’s because you caught me off guard! I didn't know what to do so I resorted to default settings.”

“What does that mean, I ‘caught you off guard’? What about me caught you off guard?” Disbelief coated my words, not thinking that anything about me could be catching anyone off guard.

“Everything. Everything about you.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “No, really! What, you don’t believe me?”

“I just don’t believe I’m that breathtaking.” I said the last word in a breathy, dramatic voice. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that I don’t think I’m capable of that kind of power.” I watched the TV for the next few minutes, feeling how heavy he was staring at me. I refused to look his way, not knowing what I might find if I dared sneak a peek. The man on the TV was doing something with his leg to make the audience laugh, but I was only half listening. But the longer Chris was quiet, the more the anticipation built. And it finally broke when Chris lifted his fingers to my chin and turned me to look at him again.

“I crumble to dust when you say my name. What makes you think you have no power?”

Everything in the room went quiet. There was only Chris. Chris and the way he was looking at me like I had done him a great kindness in knowing him. Chris and the smell of him enveloping me like a long awaited hug that my soul had been calling out for. He understood what I didn’t know I had been longing for.

Our eyes locked and that was all he needed.

The moments before our lips met were the longest and the shortest of my life. And when he came knocking on my door, he found it already open for him, his name carved like he owned it.

“Minho, why are we here at the butt crack of dawn? Some of us like to sleep at this hour and do not appreciate being called to appear at our job before the sun officially rises.” Hyunjin ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes. Felix jumped through the small crowd of friends and threw his arms around Hyunjin’s neck.

“Felix, if you don’t get off me, I’m going to scream into your eardrums so loud that you will need to have surgery to repair BOTH of them.”

“Hyunjin, you’re so dramatic.”

“Yeah, how could you yell at our baby Felix like that?” Han widened his eyes to round them, making them shine like big round saucers while he threw his arms around Felix’s dejected frame. Felix’s pout accentuated his lips, making the pucker more than usual and making it impossible to say anything negative about or to. Well, more so than usual. Felix crossed his arms.

Minho appeared around the corner of the restaurant waving his arms in our direction.

“Over this way!” He shouted and disappeared again behind the back, forcing the rest of us to follow him. Changbin led the way, grumbling about not being told beforehand about anything for the past week. We had all spent most of the time taking well deserved breaks, helping with repairs where we could and finding odd jobs to do in the meantime while Minho’s father arranged for everything to be back in working order.

When we found Minho by the back door, the corners of his mouth were twitching something horrible, which could only mean one of two things. Either we were in for it or…

“It’s finally done. The whole thing, we’re all finished. We are officially open starting tomorrow!” He let his grin break loose to be met with cheers from the rest of the group. Whoops and hollers from us all only deepened his sense of pride and he waved his arms downwards to calm the hollers of joy. “I wanted to be the first to take a look at it, but it didn’t feel right without you guys since it felt like we did all this together, you know? I know I wouldn’t be here without you guys and-”

“Minho, can we have this moment when we get inside? The anticipation is KILLING me!” Han loved to ruin Minho’s fun when he was being too serious. It kept Minho from falling into pieces sometimes, not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

“Fine! Fine, I guess you’ll never know. Go in, you heathens! And don’t touch anything!” Han broke into a run and burst open the back door, Chris right behind him. Felix and I hung back to watch and take in the moment, fully take in the work and everything that had been put into the place, both recently and over the years. And when we walked through that back door into the newly furnished kitchen, our words left us.

The kitchen was brand new, silver chrome coating the counters and new island in the middle for faster service with touches of bronze and copper placements everywhere. . The normal ventilation was now blocked off to where it wasn’t totally visible from directly underneath. The pots and pans now hung from hooks everywhere you looked, all crisp and waiting to be used. The stovetops, which Seungmin was now marveling at, were crystal clean and calling to him, or so he said. The ovens, three in total, were spread just far enough to prevent overcrowding at one, but not so far that you had to go too far to go from one to the other. And all of the new utensils were spread everywhere, never having to go too far for what you needed. It was gorgeous, a dream really. You could tell it was plucked straight from Minho’s dreams.

“Min, it’s gorgeous.” I whispered to him, but he wasn’t listening. No, he was staring in wonder at his completed masterpiece. He had picked the pieces of what he thought would look best, but the designer had filled in the rest. Minho was blinking rapidly with a blank expression like he did when he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. I couldn’t help the smile that appeared when I saw him like that. It happened so rarely. “I’ll leave you to it.” I whispered to him and made to leave, but he grabbed my arm.

“Stay. Just for a second.” He said as he continued to look around. He stood rooted to the spot, just watching everything and everyone’s reactions to it all. “Look. Look what we’ve done.”

“What you’ve done.” I corrected him. “This was all you, Minho. So take your time, take it all in. You deserve it.” I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and waited for him to squeeze back. But he didn’t. Instead he let go abruptly to show Seugmin the pantry for dry goods. I took that as my ‘ok’ to leave them.

They had kept the swinging doors leading to the dining room like they were, just buying newer ones and new hinges. Why fix what wasn’t broken? Only now, they sported red velvet cushioning type of dressing, decorated with gold round accents while keeping the round windows for peeping. And what awaited me outside those doors took my breath away for the second time that morning.

The dining room looked the same, and yet different at the same time. The window-walls had been replaced with the same, but stronger plexiglass of a sort, or so I overheard from Changbin with his loud voice. The booths were matching the red velvet doors along with their gold accents, giving them the new and fancier feel. The floor had been redone in a black sort of non-slip coating and the new bar had been elongated. They had replaced the mirror backing of the liquor shelves (at my request, purely for selfish and self-serving reasons) and they were back to their fully-stocked state and begging to be used. The shelf they stood on top of was fully ready for a bunch of any kind, flutes of all shapes and sizes next to every type of beer glass I could think of. I went around to look at what had been chosen just to find more surprises waiting for me behind the bar.

I never thought I would be the type of girl that would be excited by cups, but these were too pretty to ignore. The copper sinks were deeper than the last ones, and the shakers were the same copper material as the sinks. I couldn’t wait to add my glittery one to the mix.

Chris was across the room looking at the new booths when I called him over to look at what they had replaced our stuff with. He ran over, careful of Changbin and Hyunjin looking at the new bouncer/ host stand. When he arrived at my spot, his mouth fell open, exploring all of the new nooks and crannies we had all to ourselves. He even stuck his head under the bar.

“What are you doing? Are you looking for money the restoration crew might have left?” I shoved his shoulder playfully.

No, stupid. I’m looking for a place to write our names.” I cocked my head at the idea, considering what could go wrong if we did. Considering I’d be here forever, what was the worst that could happen?

“Let me go find a marker.”

“Got one right here.” Chris whipped out a Sharpie from his jean pocket and crouched down low. If anyone looked over here, they would only see me.

“Do you just carry around markers with you everywhere?” I laughed as I crouched with him, taking the marker from him.

“Nah,” he responded. “Minho told me we were coming here. I had this idea last night.” I held the marker above the short wall, unwilling to write my actual initials. Hm.

“Here, why don’t we write ‘S’ for Sparkles and ‘P’ for Puck?”

“Wow, you really did think about this.” I had to laugh again as I wrote the two letters. “People might know what ‘S’ is but will they know what ‘P’ is?”

“Doesn’t matter. At least you do. That way, when you look at it, you’ll know it’s me.”

“I like that.” After finishing the job, I chanced the look back to him, where I caught a glimpse of what looked like sadness at the marked wall. He let out a deep sigh, which I ignored. I wanted him to have the moment to himself.

A second later, Han barreled into the waist-level bar, marveling at the new shelves. “Oh!” He exclaimed when he spotted us. “What’re you guys doing down there?”

“Nothing!” I responded and sprouted upwards.

“Oh okay. Have you guys seen the new bathrooms? The sinks are unbelievable!” And then he was off again.

“He has too much energy for how early it is.”

“And he’s the hardest to wake up. Can you believe that?” We shook our heads together and started to follow Han until Seungmin came in through the doors.

“Who wants to break in the new kitcheeeeennnnnn?!”

The answer was everyone. Everyone wanted to break in the new kitchen. And in various ways.

It took a lot of convincing from Han for Minho to let him try and use the new fryers while Hyunjin was all about the new stovetops. Seungmin was constantly peering over his shoulder because he ‘couldn’t trust him with anything new’, which Hyunjin noticed and purposely tried burning multiple pans.

“Are you trying to fuck us before we even officially open?”

“Well, Seungmin, I didn’t know how to tell you but-” He started puckering his lips and following the younger around the kitchen. “Seungmin, come back!”

“No! No!” Seugmin’s screams could be heard from every corner of the building, yet no one thought twice about it nor went over to help, leaving him to fend for himself.

Minho had his own section of the new flat top and was chopping away at something and adding bits and pieces of everything he could find that he thought would be good. And it wasn’t long before there was a buffet spread of freshly made food on the new bar next to Chris and I making breakfast drinks. Next thing we all knew, plates were scraped clean again and the new mimosa glasses were emptied. All nine of us sat around, testing out the new comfortability of the new booths but really, we were just sitting around, some of us paired off and others just loudly talking about random nonsense. Chris and I sat together again, his arm around me while our conversations were going in opposite directions. When he placed his arm around me at first, none of the other guys reacted really. I thought none of them had noticed until Hyunjin gave me a look in response, ‘girl we already knew’.

“It took a lot for me to trust them, actually. I’m not really a person who trusts easily so it took a while for me to open up with them. Changbin was the first one who took it upon himself to make sure I felt comfortable enough to talk about myself and my life.”

“What did he do that made you trust him? What were the signs you were looking for?”

“I’m not really sure exactly. But the more time I spent with them, the more I found myself telling them. Like it was spilling out of me. Like it had been waiting to come out. I guess…” Innie paused, searching for answers on the new wooden tables. “I guess the more I saw that he cared about what I had to say, the more inclined I was to tell him. And I think I was testing him at first to see what his reactions would be. When he didn’t run or laugh at how ridiculous it was, I think that was when it started happening.”

Chris rumpled his hair, causing Jeongin to shrink into himself and try to get away from any signs of affection, as he usually did. “Sparkles was right, you are too smart for your age.”

Jeongin’s signature laugh bounced off the freshly painted walls.

Minho stood from his bar stool and quieted everyone with his hands.

“Now that we’ve all been stuffed beyond our means, I have the great pleasure of telling you all that we are back in business tomorrow night so I hope you don’t have any plans.”

“But Jeongin was supposed to take me shopping!” Felix pouted back into his chair, sulking while Jeongin’s breathy laugh filled our eardrums. Minho just shrugged.

“Sorry not sorry. Anyways, front of house, come back at around six to check out the new menu items. Back of house, including Han and Hyunjin, you have to stay. We have to teach you. Trust me, we’re not looking forward to it either.”

“Hey now, I need one of the twins with me.”

“Fine, pick one.” Minho moaned in mild frustration.

“I’m going!” Han was faster, and sped-walked quickly to my side before Minho could object. Minho rolled his eyes, but led the way to the kitchen with the others.

Grumbles filled the air while those of us who were dismissed filed out. Chris held onto my hand until he was forced to let go by Minho.

“Bro, let’s go! You got dishes to do. You guys can make out later.” To which all of the boys groaned, Han the loudest.

“Eeewwww, gross!”

“I’ll see you later then.” Chris whispered in my ear then kissed my cheek, leaving a literal spark where his lips had been. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I headed to the bar.

“The rest of you, follow me. I have some new cocktail recipes I wanna try.” I practically skipped over the rest of the way, Changbin, Jeongin, Han, and Felix in tow.

When we arrived at the bar, I was immediately bombarded with questions.

“How long have you guys been together?”

“When did that happen?”

“Did you guys know about this? Felix was the only one who didn’t have questions. Instead he just watched the others and held in that deep laughter of his. While they spewed their questions, I gathered the ingredients I needed and started pouring them into the new shakers. They continued while I poured ice and started shaking, yelling even louder so they could hear each other over the rattling ice. They didn’t stop until I poured my creation into the glass I had selected. I opened my mouth to indicate that I was ready to talk, and they quieted down their hushed voices.

“I call this one ‘I’m Not Answering Your Questions So Don’t Even Ask’.” They went quiet and looked for the straws.

“It was just a question, geez.”

“Yeah, we just wanted to know what was going on.” They sipped all at once, making room for each other so they looked like one of those pictures from the 50s, all drinking a milkshake together. It was adorable.

“I like this one! What is it?” As I explained it to him and made more for them to try, I couldn’t help but think about what was going on in the kitchen. The thought that Chris wanted to tell the crew about his past hadn’t left me, but I didn’t know much more than that. Would he do it today, before our first dinner service in the new place? Or would he wait until after, letting everyone focus on the next 24 hours for themselves?

Felix’s voice broke me of my thoughts. “So what do you think?”

“Huh? I’m sorry, Lix, I have no idea what you just said.”

“Yeah I thought so.” He mocked, then continued. “I asked you what you thought about me inviting Beth to try the new stuff? You know, get another opinion in here.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. I’m always open to new opinions.”

Half an hour later she strolled in, hair up in a long ponytail with some casual jeans and a black t-shirt clinging to the curves of her upper half in all the right places. She was definitely pretty, and she walked with her head high, shoulders back and confident for someone who was walking into a room full of people she didn’t know. When she approached, she didn’t say much beyond the simple introduction and polite hellos, but the confident air didn’t go away. It reminded me of someone…

Minho started to carry plates to the bar from the kitchen, each with their own flair that fit the dishes laden with different sauces of all colors, vegetables and various proteins. He didn’t even notice that we had an extra person among us, let alone another woman. It was only when he was counting heads to see how many forks we needed to test the new plates, that I saw him freeze and start the blinking. I watched the confusion take over until he found the culprit of the extra number and leaned over the bar towards me and waved me over.

“Who’s the new girl?”

“Felix’s new girl down at the bakery. Beth.” Minho nodded, this whole exchange never taking his eyes off of her. It seemed like he couldn’t, and I wasn’t sure he was really trying. She was paying no attention to him, looking over all of the plates he had brought over.

“Oh.” He mumbled, and continued watching her look over his plates.

“Minho?” I asked, staring at him. “Minho?” I asked a little louder. It was like he was in a trance, watching her and the way she wafted the smells coming from the food, picking apart what she thought was giving each smell and mentioning it to Felix, who nodded and listened. I didn’t want to tear him from whatever moment he was having, but Hyunjin had now come with more plates. He spotted Minho standing frozen in place like a statue and after putting his own plates down next to the ones that were already there, he snapped his fingers right in Minho’s face, waking him.

“Hey! We still got plates back there. Let’s gooooo.” He singsoned and then traipsed back through the revolving doors without checking if Minho was behind him. Minho blinked furiously again and looked around like he forgot where he was. His eyes finally landed on my smug face, imitating when Spongebob caught Squidward eating a Krabby Patty after he swore he didn’t like them..

“Shut up.” He turned on his heel and ran back to the kitchen and I didn’t miss the middle finger he threw me while I cackled. “Shut up!”

“What was that about?” The woman herself had approached me to ask the question, and since she hadn’t said much to anyone other than Felix, I was surprised.

“Oh, uhm, nothing. He’s just a little odd, that’s all.”

“Was it just me or was he staring at me?”

“Like I said, he means well. That’s Minho, this is kinda his place. He’s the head chef back there.”

“Head chef?” Her interest seemed piqued at the mention of his position. “Hm.” was all she said before she took Felix’s arm and walked away. She pulled him into a corner and started whispering to him. Felix couldn’t help but laugh and whenever he laughed, she slapped him on the arm. It seemed like old friends having a discussion about something important, and Felix was mocking her for it. It was nice to see Felix with another friend.

The rest of the itchen boys brought out the rest of the plates at the same time while those of us at the bar finished making the new cocktail menu. It was a tasting menu for the ages. Food was as far as the eye could see and the glasses sat behind them, everything ready to be tasted. Everyone gathered around the bar for the second time that day, this time for business rather than family time.

“It was nice not to have to pay for food today.” Hyujin said as he poised his fork over the glazed pork dish in front of him. “I don’t like cooking by myself anyways.” He brought his fork to his mouth and scrunched his face together, like he was in pain.

“Hyunjin, why do you always look like you’re in pain when you eat?ou scrunch your face like this.” I did my best impersonation of the face he just made, hoping it was as accurate as it felt.

“I do not do that!”

“You do. It’s okay, it’s cute.” Changbin said as he came up behind him with his fork poised to eat. Hyunjin’s indignation reached all the way down the bar, hitting everyone but Minho, who was reading something on his phone. He was a lonely island in the sea of laughter around him, out of place in the rambunctious fun happening.

“Yah!” He called out, silencing the room around him. His volume was louder than he needed, signaling to the group that the seriousness of what he had to say was trumping whatever was happening. He held up his phone, reading from it. “‘The cops pulled the cameras from that day around the area and found the car as it was leaving. They identified it as belonging to that dishwasher that ran out on you a few months ago. They caught him and he confessed to everything. I’m making sure they press every charge they can AND paying back every penny we spent on repairs.’” There was a collective sigh of relief from the small crowd, but Chris just looked even more puzzled. He found my gaze and left his place beside Changbin to find me.

“Well, that’s a relief. Now you don’t have to tell them what you suspected about those guys. It’s not true.” He didn’t look any more pleased from that fact.

“Yeah, but…” He looked around again. “Something still doesn’t feel right.”

“Why? What do you mean?” Puzzled, he tucked his bottom lip into his teeth.

“I don’t know… But I can’t shake the feeling.”

“Well, we’ll just keep an eye on it, okay? The cops have him and until we have some hard evidence to believe that he’s not the guy who did this, we have to take them at their word for it. It’s not like we can do anything about it anyways.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to believe it’s that easy.”

“Maybe you’re not used to the bad guys getting caught.” I replied without thinking. Scared, I turned to face him, an apology on my lips and ready to be spilled, but he wasn’t offended. No, he was nodding along, as if to say ‘fair point’.

“So now what do we do?” Jeongin asked innocently.

“Now,” Minho replied. “We kill tomorrow’s dinner service.”

And kill it we did.

Minho’s father had a banner put up over the front door stating our ‘Grand Reopening’ and the people were lining up at the door, ready for us. Floods of compliments on the new decor from the regulars and the new customers excitedly announcing that it was their first time there. The new upscale makeover had drawn in the crowd Minho had always wanted and his reputation for high standards had been spread across town. It followed him when he went out that day to Felix’s cafe.

“He said he needed help today so I just stopped by for a minute.”

Felix: Bullshit. I never asked him for help. He didn’t leave Beth’s side the whole 10 minutes he was here before I kicked him out.

The new dishes had gone over so well that Minho decided to keep them all instead of just keeping them for the reopening. His plan was to see what sold well and boot the rest but everything sold so well that he had to keep it all. He didn’t make back all of the money he had been estimated to lose since closing the doors, but he predicted that he was well on his way.

Chris told them all the story of his past when the night was over, saying he had been scared to tell them because he was convinced he was right.

“The goons I used to work with are scary as shit. I didn’t want to put you guys in any more danger than you already were just by being near me. So it was better that you didn’t know.”

“But you could’ve told us, Chris. You didn’t have to be scared, we would’ve understood.” Changbin comforted him from the furthest seat. “We still wouldn’t have blamed you because it was never your fault. You did what you could.”

Felix just got up and hugged Chris, who accepted it right away. With Felix, there was no other way other than to accept it straight away. “I’m sorry for your loss, Chris. That guilt must still be weighing on you.”

“It still does.” I reached for his hand which he took gratefully. Han was quiet for what felt like the first time in his life, and Minho watched the others around him, having already known the story.

“Thank you for telling us.” Seungmin said quietly, unsure of what to do next. He wasn’t one for physical comfort, but that job was already occupied by Felix. So he made sure that Chris knew that whatever he might need, Seungmin was there.

“It’s weird. Sometimes you guys remind me of him. Little things you guys do are things that he used to do. I missed having little brothers.”

And then was when Han broke out into a very dramatic wail. “CHRIIIISSSSSSS.” And he sprung up straight into Chris’ arms to cry on his shoulder. And the rest of the group rallied around them, dragging me along with them into the only group hug I had seen Minho not hate.

I was feeling good about it all until they all eventually left, barely cleaning on their way out. I drew the short straw yet again so guess who was stuck cleaning?

“I’ll stay and help, don’t worry.” What a man, my boyfriend.

That word was still unfamiliar on my tongue in this context. Unfamiliar, but a rush of adrenaline still ran through me with every use. And I was tryng my best to pretend that it was totally fine that he was standing so close to me, washing the glasses behind the bar. He bumped my hip with his to break the comfortable silence we had fallen into in the empty restaurant.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“I’m just really proud of you. For opening up about Daniel, coming clean when you didn’t have to. You’ve opened up about something very traumatic for you and I’m just proud that you trusted all of us enough to tell us.” Chris got quiet, the glint of something like sadness taking over his eyes again. “What?”

“Nothing.” He cast the sad smile downwards on the beer glass he was washing.

“Hey.” I bumped his hip back. He glanced back at me. “I really like you.”

He retracted that sadness and giggled, the one that I felt in my soul.

“I really like you too.” He looked at me like he wanted to say more, but didn’t. He just kissed me instead.

After a night’s rest and a coffee from Felix’s cafe in hand, I took out my keys to unlock the front door. I was looking forward to having a moment to myself in the new space after the success of last night, and taking a look around for my own sake was high on my to-do list. Just to sit by myself in a booth and admire the work we had done to get here with a coffee in my hand was just what I wanted. So I waltzed in through the glass doors and locked the door behind me. I went over to the freshly cleaned bar to put down my bag to find a folded piece of paper laying innocently on the counter.

My Sparkle,

I hope by the time you read this, I’ll be home again. I couldn’t tell you this to your face or else I would crumble again. Because I know for you, I would Stay if you asked me to.

But I have to go home to fix the mess I made. I never told you because I was scared of what they would say, but I reached out to my sister. Her reaction was the final push I needed to at least try. I think I would miss you too much to be gone for good. But I know it’s going to take a while, so I can’t say when I’ll be back.

Being here with you these past few months has given me so much that I will never be able to repay you for, so I won’t try to. But I know I have a lot to thank you for. The only thing I can do is appreciate what you’ve given me and hope to give it back when I come back home to you.

I don’t want to keep carrying this when I don’t have to and it’s not fair for you to help me when you don’t deserve it. I’ve been running for too long. I don’t want to run anymore. My only regret is not telling you the one truth that I’ve known all this time.

I love you

-Puck

“You’re still going?”

“Yeah. I have to. Hannah will kill me if I don’t go.”

“You don’t have to. She’s going to break down my door once she reads that.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for what you’re going to have to deal with. But I can’t tell her myself. I won’t go if I do.”

Silence.

“You love her that much?”

“With everything I have.”

fin.

31 notes · View notes

snowywolf1005 · 2 months

Text

JOYBOY LUFFY X LUNALA READER VS KAIDO PT3

You and luffy are still again fighting kaido. Kaido is still mad at you two. "The King of the Pirate?!" Kaido yelled.

Luffy looked at kaido. "It's good to know that you two still impudent, Straw Hat! When you two mind and body catch up to your power, Awakening occurs! How ridiculous you two powers is!" Said kaido.

It made you pissed off that you wanna kill him so bad and for talking shit you two are. Kaido remembers the flashback of how you and luffy beat with you powers.

Luffy laughs for a moment. "I've already lost so much... I've lost so much of what I've built." Said kaido, he was pissed off what you and luffy, his crew did.

Luffy crew killed each one of kaido crew members. "My subordinates and the castle! You two lost a lot, too." Said kaido.

"Even so, there are things I have to take back!" Luffy yelled. Kaido turns to pruple lighting you and luffy turn to red lighting, lighting storm come out.

"You'll lose more and more! Because I will take more from you two!" Kaido yelled. Kaido jumped forward towards you and luffy.

"Kundali Dragon Swarm!". You transform your shadows' monster form. And use your wings to cover luffy as a blanket.

Your shadows monster:

Kaido hits each one of your wings, but you didn't let him stop you. You fly back, "Air Slash!" You scream, air slash:

The air slash hits kaido every each of his body, causing him to cough blood. Kaido walked back. You landed, you put luffy on the ground, and kaido got up a little.

Then you smell smoke, and you cough so as luffy. You look to see, a ground and a fire lit up. You and luffy were so confused.

"The floors and the castle are all on fire below. I'm sure thousands of your soldiers are stuck there, too. They'll all burn to death!" Kaido yelled.

"Don't underestimate them, kaido!" Luffy smiles, "Cause we believe in them, and they believe in us!" You smile too. Kaido was shocked.

"We left everything below in their hands! So we'll just... focus on kicking your ass!" Luffy yelled. Luffy runs forward, and he laughs, "The way you laugh annoys me! Demolition Gust!" Kaido yelled.

Luffy screamed, and he pulled his crotch up, and the slash missed him. "It almost hit my crotch!" Said luffy. Kaido was about to hit luffy, but luffy jumped behind kaido.

Luffy Bounce, really high, kaido turnaround was in shock. Lighting struck, luffy smiles. "I have an idea!" Said luffy.

"Oi! (Y/N)! I've an idea, and I hope you love it!" Luffy yelled. Oh yeah, you were flying watching Luffy beating kaido, making sure he okay. 'I hope it isn't stupid,' you thought.

At the bottom of the castle, everything is on fire. In the performance floor inside the dome, "it's not just the castle anymore! All the towers are burning! " Someone yelled.

"Everyone! Where are you?!" Chooper yelled, looking for his teammates. Then Nami heard Chooper voice, "Hey!" Chooper yelled again. "Chooper!" Nami yelled as she walked behind Chooper.

"Nami!" Chooper yelled, Chooper burst out of tears on his eyes. Chooper ran toward Nami and hugged her. "Are you alright?! Otama, are you hurt?" Chooper asked, "everyone protected me, so I was only slightly wounded." Said otama.

"I'll treat your wounds later." Said Chooper, "what about the others?" Nami asked. Chooper started crying, "What should we do? The fire can't be put out! Zoro, Sanji, Franky, Brook, usopp, Robin, and Jimbei! I can't find any of them!" Chooper cried. "Really?!" Nami asked.

"But... even if we tried to find them, the whole of Onigashima is on fire now! It's not safe here, either! Unless it lands, we have nowhere to go!" Said Nami, Chooper jumps off of Nami.

"Zeus, can't you use your rain to put out the fire?" Chooper asked, "the fire is too intense, I would get burned!" Said Zeus. "We all worked so hard to get to this point. It's so frustrating to see it end like this." Said Otama.

"Don't worry!". "What?" Otama question, "it's gonna be alright, so don't give up!" Said Nami, Otama smiled. "You're right! We have to see Big Bro, luffy win! And (Y/N)!" Said Otama, "wait? (Y/N) is alive?!" Chooper yelled.

Nami, look at Chooper, "Chooper, have you seen a gaint pruple bat?" Nami asked. Chooper thought for a moment, and he nodded his head. "Well, that gaint pruple bat was (Y/N)." Said nami. "WHAAAAAA!!" Chooper screamed in a surprise look.

In the basement inside the castle, everything is burning, and it starts to break. "We can't escape! The fires are everywhere!" Said the blondeguy.

"There's nowhere to run!" Said the guy with black clothes. (Forget his name, too) "Damn!" Blonde guy yelled.

On the first floor of the castle. Bepo was beaten up. "I can't take it anymore! I can't stand the heat..." He said. "You're giving us too much trouble, Bepo!" Said penguin, then they stopped to see they were dead end cause the fire is blocking their way.

"Ouch!" Penguin scream, "maybe this really is it." Said shachi, "I don't think we can get out of here!" They yelled. "Help! Captain!" Said Bepo. In the basement, where Brook and Robin were trapped by the fire.

"My precious afro is getting frizzier!" Said brook, "yeah! I don't want to end up like you." Said Robin, "what?" Said brook. Then, someone burst out of the door, "what?! Uh! A skeleton!" They scream.

"I know you're frustrated! "

"Look at you!"

"I don't know what to say... I feel sorry for you... you must have failed to escape and got burned!" They said.

"I'm not a burnt corpse! I am dead, though..." said brook, and then more fire became bigger.

"It's burning intensely! Maybe there's no way for all of us..." said brook.

"...to run." Said Robin.

On the fourth floor inside the castle, "I'm sorry. I can't die just yet..." said raizo, "don't mention it. I like helping people." Said jinbe."I was extremely lucky to see you here." Said raizo, "I'm in on your secret plan with pleasure!" Said jinbe.

"With my ninjutsu, now is the time to salvage this situation! Now is the time!" Said raizo. Jinbe and raizo walk until the building falls apart. "Everyone, endure it a little bit more... these loathsome flames... I'm going to put them all out!" Raizo yelled.

Pleasure hall, left-brain tower. Sanji is running with a group of girls behind him. But they were dead end, "Oh, no. We can't get outside because the yard is gone." Said sanji, "no, " said some.

"An abyss in front... And a hellish fire behind..." said sanji. He looked to see the woman who was scared. "We can't even turn back!" Sanji yelled, then the roof started to break and was about hit Some.

Some scream, "Careful!" Sanji yelled as he kicked some wood. "Don't worry! I'll protect you, ladies!" Said sanji.

"Thank you," she said. 'We're in the air, so there's no place to go... the fire and the collapse and the ladies... What should we do?' Sanji thought.

On the basement. "Stop complaining that it's hot! Break the wall! If we stay here, we're gonna die!" Yapoo yelled. The gaint cry as his arm hurt, "Just sacrifice one of your damn arms! That big body's so useless, you idiot!" Yapoo yelled.

The gaint told Yapoo to stop, "Do you wanna fight, you bastard?!" Yapoo yelled. On the basement again. "The heat and the flames have us backed in a corner! Is there a way for us to survive?!" Said hemlet.

"If we knew that, we wouldn't be having a hard time!" Said usopp, "we're gonna die from the heat if nothing's done!" Hemlet yelled. "Just run!" Usopp yelled back, then more building came blocking their path.

"Please do something, mister!" Hemlet yelled. Usopp doesn't know what to do. He got off, "I'm gonna put out this fire! Special attack green star! Sprinkler!" Usopp yelled, the flower trying to put out the fire.

"How's that?!" He yelled, but the flower was on fire. Usopp was surprised, "This is what 'a drop in the bucket' means, mister!" Said Hemlet.

"Shut up! I gotta figure out a way! I promised izo! I wanna save Kin and Kiku and myself as well!" Usopp screamed as he started to cry. "What?! Mister! Please include me in the list!" Hemlet yelled at usopp.

"Don't depend on me! You have to save me!" Usopp yelled back. Right-Brain Tower. Franky was running, holding zoro, who was passed out. "The castle is burning ridiculously!" Franky yelled, "Wait for us, big bro!" She cried, "where should we go?!" Franky question.

"Zoro's life is in danger! I have to take him to Chooper as soon as possible!" Said Franky, "we're all gonna get burned to death before that!".

"It's hot! It's hot! I don't wanna die!"

"Help us, big bro!"

"Who's whining?! I'm gonna burn you!" Franky yelled, "Please don't do that!" They whined. Third floor inside the castle.

"It's a dead end again! Damn! The flames and the debris keep getting the way! Did someone go around and set fire?!" Someone yelled. "There is no way I'm gonna be killed by fire and the enemy in a raid!" Said the bull.

"We're not gonna get defeated by fire!"

"Yeah! Let's survive!"

"Yeah!"

Fourth floor inside the castle. Jinbe is standing the hallway, "I'm ready, jinbe-dono! Thank you for trusting me!" Said raizo. "Luffy chose to form an alliance with you, samurai! There's no way I'd doubt you. Okay, come on!" Said jinbe.

"Yeah! I'm trusting you, too!" Raizo yelled, 'I was ready since that day...' Raizo thought, thinking his flashback.

'Toki-sama!'

'Momonosake-Sama!'

'Hiyori-sama!'

'Come on! Hurry up!'

"I couldn't save oden-sama that day! And I let Momonosake-Sama and the others suffer in the building castle. Even if I could use ninjutsu, I couldn't save anybody. That was a big blunder that I regret!" Raizo yelled.

"I never ever want... to feel that way again!" Raizo yelled, thinking of his flashback.

'Zou?!'

Zunesha pulled out some water in his trunk.

'Dogstorm, what kind of rain is this?!'

'Zunesha is bathing itself.'

'That's a lot of water! May I take some?!'

"I won't let those who took part in this raid die... in this damn fire! I'm sorry that it took so long, everyone! Let me show you the incredible water flow! Nimp: scrolling jutsu! The Elephant's Bath! Restoration!" Raizo scream.

Then, a bunch of water came in raizo scroll and is sucked jinbe making him swim. "This is enormous!" Said jinbe, "water heart! Fish-man jiu-jitsu! Ocean Current Shoulder Throw!" Jinbe yelled as he threw the waters, with his bear hands.

The roof crumble of more water coming, "run through every part of the castle!" Jinbe yelled. "Make it in time and save everybody, zou's water!" Said raizo, more water keeps pouring, putting out the fire.

First floor inside the castle. "Let me down, guys!" Said killer, "you have to let us do this for least, killer-san!" Said the crew. "Ouch!" They yelled, "What should we do?! There really is nowhere to go!" The crew yelled.

"What is that?! I feel a rumble..." one of the crew yelled, the water splashing them behind. "Water?!" They said, "we're okay now!" One of them yelled.

The whole castle started to rumble and broke apart. Chooper lost his balance, and Nami hold Otama. "Hurry up, Momonosake-kun!" Yamato yelled.

"Why?! Kaido is still alive!" Momonosake asked, "You have to sustain the island with your Flame Clouds!" Yamato yelled. "Sustain the island? That's impossible!" Momonosake yelled back.

"Kaido is reaching his limit... his flame clouds won't last much longer!" Said yamato, "What?". "You must create flame clouds to sustain onigashima!" Said yamato.

"What?!" Momonosake scream, "that way the only option from the beginning!" Yamato yelled. Momonosake lost his words. He couldn't say anything. Yamato, look at Momonosake.

"Otherwise, onigashima will fall," said yamato, Momonosake didn't want onigashima to get destroyed.

As for you and luffy, you watch luffy fly up, say he got an idea. Luffy grabbed a lightning strike, and it turned to blue. Kaido was shocked to see, then smile.

Hey guys, that is the end of episode 1073, but it is not over yet. So here is an episode 1074.

"You can do it, Momonosake-kun! Create flame clouds!" Yamato yelled, Momonosake tries to make the flame clouds, but it keeps disperse. "That will not be enough to sustain onigashima!" Momonosake said.

And a loud explosion erupted, and Momonosake was shocked and scared. "Momonosake-kun! Flame clouds!" Yamato yelled, "it is easier said than done..." said Momonosake.

Momonosake is still trying to make flame clouds. "I can't do it! They will not come out! I can't do it!" Momonosake cried, truma from his childhood.

When his house was on fire. 'The future? But I do not want to be apart from you!' Little Momonosake cried, 'Momonosake! Go along with kin'emon and the others. Leap 20 years into the future and rebuild the Kazuki Clan!' Said toki.

'I can't do it!' Little Momonosake cried, turns around but turns back hugging his mother. 'Then why will you and hiyori not come with us?!' Momonosake asked, still crying.

Toki look at Momonosake, 'I can't do it!' Momonosake cried. 'Momonosake-Sama! Your mother is suffering more than you!' Kin'emon yelled, Momonosake turnaround.

'This is the land of samurai! Where shame alone could end your life! For a man to complain after women set resolve... is mortal shame!' Kin'emon yelled.

'Now, let's leap into the future together! The future of the land of wano rests on your shoulders!' He yelled, 'I am only a child... I am only a child, so I can't... do anything!' Momonosake cries.

'With all due respect, since oden-sama is gone, you are no longer an ordinary child!' Kin'emon said, 'What?' Momonosake asked. 'You are the son of the great samurai! You will govern this country someday! Oden-sama ordered me to open the border of the land of wano! I shamelessly lived... at my lord's expense...' Kin'emon cries.

'Now it not the time to die! I am not allowed to just die! Allow me to speak plainly! Will you let us have another chance to fight?! If I am going to burn to death anyway, I would rather die wielding my sword for my lord! Will you please give us a chance to die as samurai?!' Kin'emon cried.

All samurai started to cry, waiting Momonosake answers. 'Momonosake!' Toki called, 'Mother... mother... I am going!' He yelled.

Toki cried, 'Yes... please, live on...' she said. "I am too ashamed to face Mother!" Momonosake yelled. "Momonosake-kun?" Yamato asked.

"Stop saying 'I cannot,' Momonosake! You made your own decision! I am not an ordinary child anymore! I am the man who will become the shogun of this country!" He yelled, "uh-huh!" Yamato said.

"I will save the land of wano! Stop! Onigashima!" Momonosake yelled, then the onigashima began to fall. "Wait! No!" Yamato yelled, "No! Don't not head towards the capital!" Momonosake yelled.

"Gum-gum... lighting!". Luffy throws the lightning strike at kaido, but kaido dodges the attack. And Flys toward to luffy. "You mean you can grab lighting?! How absurd!" Kaido yelled.

But all of a sudden, six lighting surrounded kaido. Luffy jumps each on of lighting and hits kaido. Then kaido was hit all six lighting.

'What an absurd power...' kaido thought. But kaido felt someone behind him. He turned to see you, "Moongeist Beam!" You yelled. Moongeist Beam:

Kaido was hit back, and he coughed some blood. Kaido turned around to see luffy, "Gum-gum...". Kaido hit luffy with his hassaikai. Luffy was thrown away, but he was lucky when you caught him.

Luffy was behind your back, and then you warp around your wings to make spend ahead. And you hit kaido stomach.

Kaido was lunch back, luffy grabbed kaido legs and threw him by rocks. Luffy went behind kaido and punched him in his face.

But kaido opened his mouth and blasted fire at luffy. Luffy was blown away, but luffy grabbed a lightning strike, spins around, and lunch himself to kaido. Kaido went toward to luffy.

Kaido hits luffy again, and luffy is lunch back. Luffy was on the clouds, smiling, and grabbing the thunder strike. Luffy throws all thunder sticks at kaido.

But kaido dodges all stricks, "Night shade!" You shot out some pruple laser eyes. Night shade:

It hit on kaido's chest, and kaido is getting weaker. Then kaido disappeared, you look around to find kaido, "you two can play around... all you want! But..." kaido.

Kaido was right behind, and he hit your chest with his hassaikai. You lunch back, and you were hit behind a rock. "(Y/N)!" Luffy yelled, luffy Flys toward to kaido, "a Devil Fruit power will never conquer the world!" Kaido yelled.

Kaido hit luffy cheeks, luffy hits on the ground, but bounced back, really flied up. "It's amazing how things work. Just like how Roger was not a Devil Fruit power user... Only haki... can trump all else!" Kaido yelled.

"Destroyer of Death..." Kaido hassaikai turn pruple and was about to smash luffy. "...thunder... Bagua!" Kaido yelled, kaido hits luffy once more. The pruple thunder destroyed all rocks building and made a loud explosion.

In the land of wano, people were celebrating. There was music, dancing, food, everything, people were holding sky boats. "To the deceased! Set sail!" The man yelled.

"Let go of your sky boat!"

"Steady!"

"Steady! Steady!"

"The festival is almost over... we must return to slave labor tomorrow..." the men said, everyone let go of the sky boats. And the sky boat went up high, "I hope I can survive another year..." he said.

"Steady! Reach Father!" Toko yelled. On the onigashima above was destroyed, cracks, holes, and rock mountain were everything.

Kaido was catching his breath, 'a Devil Fruit power will never conquer the world! He didn't have one, either...' kaido thought, remembering when he fought with oden.

But all of a sudden, kaido saw a hand grabbing his chest. "What?!" Kaido question, Kaido above the sky to see the arm lead top of the clouds.

"What are you doing?!" Kaido ask, the hand pulled kaido, "Damn! Let go of me! You're only betraying your location!" Kaido yelled. Kaido keeps hitting the arm with hassaikai, and he turns to his dragon form.

"Dragon Twister... Demolition Breath!" Kaido screamed, "Your vulnerability to cutting attacks hasn't changed." Said kaido. The demolition breath cut luffy.

luffy body started to bleed with cut all other his body. "Come down! Straw Hat!" Kaido yelled, kaido blast a gaint fire ball. Luffy wide eye, but you came and "MoonBlast!" You yelled.

Moon Blast:

The moonblast hit fire ball, causing it to explode. Luffy looked to see you're alive, "(Y/N)? You're alive!" Luffy cried, you smiled at luffy. "Of course I am, remember I make a promise that we always stay each other when we little?" You said.

Luffy nodded his head. In the house were on fire, where hiyori was at with orochi. Orochi was on fire, screaming in pain. Hiyori stand there watch orochi suffering.

Then, a loud burst, hiyori drop the needle. "Hey, it come off! Some kind of tremor pulled the Sea Prime Stone nail out!" Orochi yelled as he transformed a eight-headed dragon.

"Damnit... I'll at least take you down with me! Are you watching, oden?!" He yelled. Hiyori, fall back, "I'll take..." orochi was about to bite hiyori. "... Your daughter, along with me!" He yelled.

During the fight, hyogoro fell back. "Boss hyogoro!" The man yelled, "I heard onigashima's gonna fall!" The man said. Hyogoro chulked, "That means they cornered kaido... hey, guys! Which one do you prefer? If the straw hat and (Y/N) take down kaido down, we'll fall and die." Said hyogoro.

"If we survive, that means kaido wins!" Hyogoro said, the whole samurai laughed. "Oh, that's an easy choice." The man answered,

"I have a kid in Hakumai."

" I have a wife in Ringo!"

"If kaido gets taken down, they can live happily ever after!"

"That would be great! It's gonna be a good country!"

"Are you guys crazy, you damn samurai?! That means you're all gonna die!"

"That's fine." Said hyogoro, "Straw Hat, and (Y/N)-san! Kick kaido's ass with all your might!" Everyone cheered. Kid and law heard the samurai cheering.

The building is falling apart. "I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!" Usopp screamed as he ran, "ow, ow, ow!" Hemlet yelled and also ran. "I don't wanna die!" Usopp yelled.

"The flames!" Hemlet yelled, "Don't give up, You fool! I'm not gonna die!" Usopp scream. Usopp ran through the flames, "Mister!" Hemlet yelled.

"I'm gonna survive no matter what!" Usopp yelled, "You're the best!" Hemlet yelled. Then, Usopp was splashed by the big water, so as Hemlet. "Water!" Usopp yelled.

"Kiku! Kin'emon! I'm not gonna give up!" Usopp yelled. At the wano place, everyone looked at the sky to see Sky Boat high up in the air.

You and luffy remember people voices and what their dreams is.

"To be able to drink clean water."

"I want to see my mother again."

"May my children grow up happily."

"For grandpa to get better."

So many people dream, you and luffy want them to be happy.

"You can do it!"

"Straw Hat-san!"

"(Y/N)-san!"

"Defeat kaido!"

"Straw Hat and (Y/N), you two truly amazing..." said hyogoro, remembering the words you and luffy said.

"We made a promise! We'll make this country a place where she can eat as much as she wants! We're here to take down kaido!"

"And we'll protect the weak"

"This battle... is not only meant to take down kaido... to take back... the country that stood still 20 years ago, we fought... if we can bring smiles back... to our families, our children, and our country," said hyogoro.

"We..." Hyogoro, watch the samurai cheering you and luffy telling you to defeat kaido. Hyogoro chulked, "Hey, (Y/N)! Straw Hat! A new dawn will surely come to Land of Wano. Right?! I can hear... your voice!" Hyogoro yelled.

"What are you two doing? Straw Hat? Why aren't you coming down?" Kaido ask, then a thunder strike. Kaido looked up at the sky and saw a large shadow.

"Stop! Onigashima!" Momonosake yelled, holding the kaido flame clouds. "Hey, momo!" The sound of luffy, Momonosake look at the sky.

Momonosake was shocked. A large big hand feist, "Let's finish this up! Shall we?!" You yelled. It revealed that luffy makes his fist larger, and you got larger with your shadows monster.

"Onigashima is in the way! Move it!" Luffy yelled, kaido chulked. "Look at that... they can destroy the whole onigashima." Said yamato, "Stop! Wait, luffy, (Y/N)! I still cannot -" as Momonosake was about to say something.

"Momo!" Luffy yelled, "we trust you!" You said, smiling. Momonosake was surprised, remembering his mother's smile. Momonosake has a tear on his eyes.

EPISODE 1075! Boy, it will take me a while to write this...

"Look at the size of that... they can destroy the whole onigashima!" Yamato yelled. Kaido was shocked to see. He knows he will get defeated from your attacks.

"Momo! Move onigashima out of our way!" You scream. "Do not do it, (Y/N), luffy!" Momonosake scream, "you can do it, right, momo?!" Luffy asks.

"Wait! Move onigashima out of your way?" Momonosake asks, he look at onigashima and the wano. He isn't quite, he can move onigashima.

"I... I can't do it!" Momonosake scream, kaido watch as luffy still holding his chest and look at you and luffy.

"Let's settle this!" Luffy yelled, but kaido got an idea. 'I got it.' He thought 'bring it on.', kaido mouth started to flame. And it burned Luffy hand, luffy let go of his hand.

"That burns!" He yelled, luffy blow at his hand. "That right!" Kaido yelled, you and luffy look at kaido, "you don't have to grab me! I'm not gonna run away!" Said kaido.

Kaido body cover with flames, "You know something, Straw Hat? 20 years ago, a hero of this country was burned to death! Since then, this country has been lawless! You guys are the heroes that they've been waiting 20 years for!" Said kaido.

Kaido Flys up, making himself bigger. "Flame Dragon Torch!" He yelled. "You're not going to throw your powers. Because you two gonna melt away." He said.

"We see about that!" You scream, yamato was surprised to see that the onigashima skeleton horn has been broken. And it falls towards her and Momonosake. They move away from the horn.

Kaido laughed. Burning luffy and you, "luffy! (Y/N)!" Yamato yelled. "We're... not gonna melt!" Luffy yelled, "I learned from the old man how to throw a punch without even more punch" he said.

'You call it haki, but we call it Ryuo in the land of wano. Don't strain yourself! Allow the unused Haki in your body to flow to your fist!'

"We're gonna knock you down to the abyss!" Luffy yelled.

"Gum-Gum..."

"Menacing Moonraze..."

"Rising Dragon!"

"Bajrang... Gun!" Luffy throws his fist at kaido.

"... Maelstrom!" Your turn to light skin. Menacing Moonraze Maelstrom:

"Flame Bagua!" Kaido yelled, then an impact of flash. Yamato was shocked. You and luffy try all your strength and power.

Inside of the castle, Usopp gasped as he finally survived from drowning. "What? What's going on?!" He yelled as he felt an impact grumble. Everyone felt it, too.

"What's happening out there?!"

"Is it (Y/N) and Straw Hat-san?!"

"Straw Hat!"

"It must be them!"

"I think it's Straw Hat, (Y/N)-san!"

"(Y/N)-san!"

"Straw Hat-san!"

"Go!"

"Please, Straw Hat, (Y/N)-san!"

"Go, (Y/N)-san!"

"Please, Straw Hat, man!"

"Take him down!"

"Please!"

"I'm begging you! Please!"

Kawamatsu rember oden say to them.

'I'm counting on you guys!'

'Run! To kuri!'

A loud shot bang.

'Oden... sama!'

'Don't look back!'

'Run!'

'Haha! It's easy to guess where the samurai are heading!'

'It's kuri!'

'The Kozuki Clan's heir is at the castle! Kill them all! Eradicate the Kozuki Clan!'

'Exterminate! Exterminate them!'

'He had a child?'

'I'll go finish things up.'

'Stop! Don't mess with the Kozuki Clan anymore!'

'Move!'

'Hahaha! You can shoot whoever stands against the shogun!'

'Hahaha! Witness how deep the kurozumi clan's grudge is! Take this!'

'Suffer!'

'You stupid Kozuki Clan admirers!'

'What happened to oden wife?!'

'We confirmed her death in Bakura town!'

'No one else escaped from Oden Castle.'

'Haha! Now the Kozuki Clan is gone! So you Daimyo, choose! Whether to enliven our Land of Wano...'

'You know what we'll say... that's nonsense question! The Kozuki Clan is our only shogun!'

'Avenge Oden!'

'Protect the land of wano to the end!'

'Don't be afraid of the enemies! Charge!'

Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. But I'm going skip of the story this cause it hurting my feelings when I watchand I don't wanna write it . And is it okay for guys how you love this story.

Hiyori stab orochi, "komurasaki! Everything was exactly as I wanted it! You started working at the Pleasure Hall of your own will, you slut!" Orochi yelled.

"Do you wanna get your revenge on me that much? Stop playing the victim! I still remember my grudge against the Kozuki Clan and what they did to me! What you're doing is the same as what they did to me! I'll kill everyone who rebels against me!"

"I'm not gonna just die! Komurasaki! I'll take you with me! Let's drink together again in the next life!" Orochi yelled as he ran toward hiyori. "Those eyes!" Orochi scream, remembering oden eyes.

"Stop!" He yelled. And orochi is dead, I hate that mf.

'Move onigashima out of the way? What should I do? I was right... I can't do it! I can't! I tried many times, but I could not do it!' Momonosake thought, then he heard someone called his name.

'Momonosake! Leap 20 years into the future and rebuild the Kozuki Clan!'

'Mother!'

'Don't worry. I know you can do it. Your hard work and dedication will touch everyone.'

'Hiyori!'

'Father!'

'I'm counting on you'

Momonosake cries as he hears his father, counting on him. "I have to hold on now! Or I will bring shame to the Kozuki Clan!" He yelled.

"Momonosake-kun!" Yamato yelled, Momonosake hit his head, "Everyone is believing in me! I am not going to give up!" Momonosake yelled.

Usopp heard a loud explosion. "There! There they are! Kin'emon! Kiku! You're still alive, right?! Don't ever die! Don't you ever die!" Usopp yelled.

The samurai was on their knees, praying for you and luffy.

"Please, Straw Hat, (Y/N)..."

"Take down, kaido!"

"If only kaido were gone!"

"Please... (Y/N), Straw Hat..." said hyogoro, "our 20 years battle... until kaido is gone... it will never end!" Kawamatsu yelled.

You and luffy are still struggling to defeat kaido.

PART 4 COMING UP!!!!

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