#tuttle's stories

[tuttle-4077]

Tuttle's Story Catalogue

Story 10:

Just Playing

A post-war story featuring Carter. Carter receives a mysterious package from an old friend. When he opens it, it contains ragdolls for his children and a heartfelt letter (which raises a few questions for his wife). Carter has kept his antics at Stalag 13 under wraps, but finds these ragdolls to be the perfect way to regale his children with Papa Bear's adventures.

So sweet it might melt your teeth. But it also inspired me to make a set of ragdolls for myself. I am not a skilled doll-maker, so they're not exactly how I imaged them in the story, but they're certainly cute!

Chapters: 1

Words: 2,226

Date: December, 1953

Universe: Tuttle's Main Story Universe

Related Stories: True Heroes, Hochstetter's Revenge

Reviews: 15

Deaths: No

PBAs: 2019 Bronze Short General

@radarsteddybear these are the dolls I made.

[driveintheaterofthemind]

Vintage Pulp - Short Stories (Sep10th1944)

[thethreemustyfears]

"I gotta have those sharp-ass scissors!"

[zippocreed501]

Art: Michael Whelan

[graphicpolicy]

Haruki Murakami: Manga Stories is an interesting collection of four manga stories

Haruki Murakami: Manga Stories is an interesting collection of four manga stories #comics #comicbooks #ncbd #graphicnovel #manga

Haruki Murakami‘s stories in graphic novel form for the first time! Haruki Murakami’s novels, essays and short stories have sold millions of copies worldwide and been translated into dozens of languages. Now for the first time, many of Murakami’s best-loved short stories are available in graphic novel form in English. Haruki Murakami Manga Stories 1 is the first of three volumes, which will…

[dick-chugger]

Went to the library to look around and found a few M*A*S*H DVDs. Which would be like whatever since I can watch it on the Internet Archive easily BUT since these are Finnish DVDs, they have translations, even for episode names. So here are the insane Finnish names of episodes from seasons 1 and 2. Translations under the cut.

Season 1:

Pilot = A Small "Party" at the Field Hospital ("party" is not Finnish which makes it sound really weird)

To Market, to Market = In the Black Market

Requiem for a Lightweight = Aether Hawks Coming In

Chief Surgeon Who? = The Unbeatable Chief Surgeon

The Moose = The Sergeant's Muse

Yankee Doodle Doctor = Surgeons in the World of the Marx Brothers

Bananas, Crackers and Nuts = Hawkeye Under Psychiatric Monitoring

Cowboy = The Wounded Cowboy

Henry, Please Come Home = The High Ranking Officer in a Spa

I Hate a Mystery = The Perry Mason Specialty

Germ Warfare = The Bloody Bunk Shortage

Dear Dad = A Christmas Letter for "Daddy" (again, "daddy" is not Finnish, making this sound incredibly sexual)

Edwina = Lovable Edwina

Love Story = Oh Dear Bach

Tuttle = Glory to Captain Tuttle

The Ringbanger = Hawkeye Style Soap Opera

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet = Death in the OR

Dear Dad...Again = The Surgeon's Nude Lunch

The Long-John Flap = The Cold Winter's Underwear Circulation

The Army-Navy Game = Surgeons as Bomb Diffusers

Sticky Wicket = Patient or Ego, Hawkeye?

Major Fred C. Dobbs = Korea, the Land of Gold

Ceasefire = Premature Joy

Showtime = "Showtime" in the Midst of War

Season 2:

Divided We Stand = Psychiatric Syndromes

Radar's Report = Corporal Klinger's Perverse Clothes

5 O'Clock Charlie = 5 O'Clock Comic Relief

For the Good of the Outfit = A Top Secret Find

Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde = Dr. Pierce, Tireless Operator

L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel) = Marriage Conseling Running on Gin

Kim = Little Kim in the Mine Field

The Trial of Henry Blake = Blake's Boys' Forbidden Delights (sounds like a porno)

Dear Dad... Three = War Diary Pages for the Old Man

The Sniper = Ballistic Bustles in Blake's [_____] (Camp maybe?)

Carry On, Hawkeye = The Sick Medicinaries

The Incubator = Incubators at the Press Conference

Deal Me Out = Card Sharks and Macabre [_____]

Hot Lips and Empty Arms = Hot Lips and Empty Arms (wow)

Officers Only = Couple of Drinks at the Officers' Club

Henry in Love = Henry Blake and Midlife Crushes

For Want of a Boot = Pathetic Walking ["booting"]

Operation Noselift = Nose Surgical Views

Chosen People = The Korean Mother and the Bundle

As You Were = Gorilla Surgeons and Major Burns' Hernia

Crisis = Lack of Intimate Life (or Intimate Lack of Life)

George = Deviants Out!

Mail Call = Man's Mail from Radar

A Smattering of Intelligence = Agent Orgy in Blake's Camp

You can say what you want about the quality of these translations but they're definitely more descriptive.

Also yeah, I know like none of you care but I do so whatever.

[stoneantler]

Fascinated by the way Marty's father's death haunts the narrative by being barely present. He brings up his father's death only in episode 4, when he's trying to give Maggie a good excuse for his bad behavior and she (rightfully) snaps back at him that his father died a year ago.

Now the way time moves in True Detective is slippery at the best of times so we don't know exactly how long Rust and Marty have been partners for in episode 4, but it's possible that when they partnered up the death of his father was still very fresh for Marty. And I think it's clear from the way Marty talks about his dad, in the past and the present, that Marty never unpacked the larger than life figure his father made in his life. He even says to Gilbough and Papania that he thinks his dad could take him even at the end. So I think it's safe to say that he probably did have some really big and complicated feelings about his dad's death that he wasn't handling well at the time.

And it's so interesting to me that maybe Marty's being honest in the confrontation with Maggie in episode 4. Maybe he does trace his ongoing breakdown to his father's death over a year ago. If we follow this line of thought then we also have to compare him to Rust and the way Rust handles his own grief. For all that Rust projects an inscrutable air, he's actually surprisingly open about his grief and pain. He tells Marty and Maggie very earlier on in their respective relationships about the death of his daughter. And whether he likes it or not, so many of his actions are shaped by the death of his daughter in ways that are very easy to see. We all know that when he carries the dead child out of Ledoux's complex, he's doing it because he knows what it's like to lose a child and he wants to spare Marty from knowing what it feels like to carry a dead child. But at no point do we see Marty make the same vulnerable confession about the effect his father's death had on him. At no point is there an easy way to tie the death of his father to his current actions, and yet maybe somewhere under all that repression, his father is actually still influencing him.

If this is true, then there is a genealogy of abusive fathers looming over this story, touching all parts of it, pulling strings even beyond the grave. Rust's father, Marty, Marty's father, Childress's father, the Tuttles and their father. The lineage of abusive fathers continues backwards throughout time.

[pure-ablution]

When you are able to, would you please share all the resources you used to learn Cantonese and Mandarin? 𖹭

I used similar resources and methods to those I’ve already explained in my other language-learning posts, but I’ll list the specific resources I’ve used here. There are more resources under ‘Mandarin’ than ‘Cantonese’, but most of them are relatively useful for both dialects and applicable in both cases.

Mandarin 🇨🇳

Foundational Grammar & Vocabulary

New Practical Chinese Readers: these are a series of graded story-based readers based on the older Practical Chinese Reader series, and I found them very helpful for learning vocabulary and consolidating grammar alongside a structured textbook-style curriculum in the early stages of my Chinese study.

HSK Standard Course Textbooks: I always like to have the ‘official’ textbooks for the exams I’m planning on taking, even if I don’t rely on them wholly, just because it’s helpful to have a resource entirely structured around specific exam format and expectations.

Integrated Chinese Textbooks: this series of textbooks was recommended to me and used by my instructor in the earlier stages of learning Mandarin, and whilst I don’t think they work miracles, they’re pretty solid and gave me a good foundation alongside other resources.

Tuttle Essential Chinese Grammar: this is a nice and basic Chinese grammar intended for English natives, which covers everything that you really need to know up until an intermediate level, in a way that I think is accessible and explained in a way that doesn’t require philologist-level expertise in morphology and syntax.

Routledge Frequency Dictionary of Mandarin Chinese: I really love a frequency dictionary for early-stage vocabulary loading, and Routledge is the first publisher I go to, because they’re easily found in the UK, affordable, and simple to use. There are more comprehensive Chinese frequency dictionaries, which I’ll go over later, but for a foundation, I used Routledge and would definitely recommend it to others.

《现代汉语语法教程》: this is a basic grammar book, published by Peking University Press and intended for international students in China. I found it helpful and interesting to read a book from ‘the other side’, so to speak (published in China for international students rather than published in the West for natives).

Reading

Mandarin Companion Graded Reader Series: this is another graded reader series not extremely dissimilar from the New Practical Chinese series, except that it’s less of a ‘textbook’ system with one singular narrative thread running through, and more of a library of different stories that gradually become more complex. It covers a lot of well-known stories in the Western canon, like the works of Dickens or Conan-Doyle, only heavily abridged and translated into Mandarin, and I found that the familiar stories made reading much easier and more rewarding, especially in the early stages.

Serious publications: once I was looking at an upper-intermediate level, I started pushing myself to read serious newspapers and other publications with a high level of intellectual expectation and good prose, such as People’s Daily, Southern Weekly, and the literary magazine Dushu.

Modern intellectual writers: I’ve started trying to read more modern essayists, novelists, and poets, such as Zhu Ziqing, Lu Xun, Qian Zhongshu, Lin Yutang, and Eileen Chang, both as models for writing emulation and to push my reading abilities and capacity for understanding in modern Chinese contexts.

Listening

News outlets: I both watch and listen to CCTV News, BBC China, China National Radio, and China Radio International. I’m not a huge fan of listening to the news, but news channels offer basically 24/7 coverage and opportunity for listening practice, and keep me up to speed with current events and party lines so as to improve my conversational abilities, too. The Voice of China (CNR-1) is particularly good for this, because it is broadcast 24 hours every single day. I also really like Caixin’s video library, for a different perspective and broader topics.

Ximalaya (喜马拉雅FM): this is China’s main audio-sharing platform, and the best way I’ve found to listen to all sorts of lectures, podcasts, opinion pieces, interviews, and even things like audiobooks/audiodramas, poetry reading, or Chinese opera.

MOOC platforms: a really fun and interesting way to improve my Chinese listening skills is to use one of the many MOOC platforms, and just listen to lectures on topics that catch my eye. The platforms I use are XuetangX, Tencent Classroom, NetEase Open Class, Initium Media, and the open courses from National Taiwan University.

Specific programmes I enjoy: Lecture Room (for clear, narrative-style lectures on academic topics), Xinwen Lianbo (most-watched daily news broadcast in China), 《锵锵三人行》 (a panel-style talk show on current affairs, something like a slightly more serious Have I Got News For You?), 《圆桌派》 (a panel-style talk show on cultural matters, perhaps equivalent to QI), and 《十三邀》 (an interview series with different cultural figures and thinkers). I try not to watch too many ‘scripted’ shows, I prefer programmes that expose me to natural speech and spontaneous conversation, but sometimes I enjoy watching period costume dramas, too.

Speaking & Pronunciation

Pimsleur: Pimsleur remains one of my favourite tools for mastering pronunciation in any language, and although pronunciation in total languages like Mandarin is much more of a challenge (at least, for native speakers of non-tonal languages), I think that Pimsleur still gave me a good base, and it was helpful to return to a familiar system and solid foundation that I know has always given me results.

Italki/Tandem/HelloTalk: any real opportunity to speak at length with natives is going to be helpful, and I’m lucky in that I’ve had really ample opportunity to speak with friends and colleagues right from my very first day learning Chinese, but if you don’t have that sort of access to native speakers, then language-exchange sites like these are invaluable.

Tongue twisters: extremely helpful for mastering tone and rhythm! I use tongue twisters and 对联 as daily drills for improving my speech and intonation.

The Phonology of Standard Chinese (Sam Duanmu): this is a dry academic book, which probably won’t be helpful for anyone unless they’re particularly interested in linguistics, but as a philology student, I found it helpful to read a more scholarly monograph on Mandarin phonology, to understand the pronunciation from a more theoretical standpoint and explore points of finer subtleties.

Writing

Composition books for Chinese junior school children: these usually contain advice for writing in different genres, sample essays with critique, and topic suggestions. I found them helpful in the intermediate stages of learning, when I wanted to learn how to write, but didn’t possess a great enough command of the language to just improvise on my own. The books I had were 《中国小学生作文大全·体裁篇》 and 《作文就这样写》.

Composition books for international students: in a similar vein to those for schoolchildren, except intended for international students at Chinese universities, so the topics and guidance are tailored to more adult language learners. I like the 《留学生中高级汉语写作教程》 series, and 《实用汉语语法与修辞》, which I think is aimed at both local schoolchildren and international students.

Reference Books

Xinhua Dictionary: this is the iconic modern Chinese dictionary, and I reach for it most often to look up characters and etymology whilst I’m reading.

ABC Chinese-English Comprehensive Dictionary (John DeFrancis): the best Chinese-English dictionary for advanced learners, in my opinion. I really recommend it to everyone learning Chinese from an English base.

Lin Yutang's Chinese-English Dictionary of Modern Usage: this is very much the best reference work I know of for difficult translation, especially when it comes to neologisms and words that don’t translate well between Sinophone and Anglophone cultures.

《汉语成语大词典》: this is a very extensive reference work for Chinese idioms. I’ve only recently started using it, since moving up beyond the B2 level into the C-levels, but it’s been extremely helpful, especially for improving my conversation and comprehension skills.

A Chinese-English Dictionary of Chinese Idioms (Pan Weigui): I’ve reached for this idiom dictionary more frequently, not least because it’s bilingual and intended for language learners, but also because it helps a great deal with translation exercises and understanding how idioms correspond between English and Chinese. It’s dense and not something you’d ever actually sit down and read cover-to-cover, but it’s really useful.

《现代汉语八百词》: this is a practical sort of book that explains the function and usage of 800 common Mandarin words. It’s especially helpful for figuring out nuance in word choices, I think.

Mandarin Chinese: A Functional Reference Grammar (Li & Thompson): this is my favourite big reference grammar for second-language learners of Mandarin, because it’s clearly formatted, well-written and explained, and doesn’t really leave any stone unturned in its description of Chinese grammar. I like to have a dense reference grammar on my shelf when learning any language, and I think that Li and Thompson analyse syntax and semantics here with just enough depth without becoming dry or confusing at any point.

《现代汉语搭配词典》: extremely useful! Collocations are something that language learners often overlook, but they’re really the key for achieving native-like fluency and confidence in your target language. This book is very comprehensive and well-formatted, and I find it helpful both for dipping in and out, and for using as a framework for making flashcards and learning by rote.

《现代汉语句法论》: this is a dense Chinese syntax book, intended for native Chinese linguistics graduates, that I’ve only really dared touch once or twice, but that I have no doubt will be absolutely invaluable once I’m nearing C2+ level in my abilities, and need something much more rigorous to explain and perfect my understanding of Chinese grammar.

《英汉翻译教程》: this is a textbook for Chinese students focusing on English translation studies, so it can be a bit too technical at times, but for those who are interested in this sort of thing, it’s actually really helpful for difficulties in register, cultural equivalencies, and translating nuance in longer-form texts.

Apps, Websites & Software

DangDai: this app has been released by NTNU as the app-based form of their Chinese-language textbook, A Course In Contemporary Chinese. I never actually used the textbook, but I found the app helpful as a bridging aid in learning traditional characters after first studying simplified.

Skritter: this app teaches you how to write Chinese characters with correct stroke order. I think it’s well-made and well thought-out, and I actually really enjoyed using the free trial as a way to keep practising whilst out and about, but I’m fundamentally a cheapskate at heart and I absolutely won’t sign up to a subscription-based service when I can do the same thing by myself with a pen and paper. Still, if you’ve money to burn and you like the look of the app, I can recommend it!

Pleco: this is an honestly excellent dictionary app that also functions as an OCR scanner, screen/document reader, and speech synthesiser. I’m not a big app user, especially when it comes to language learning, but I really, really like Pleco, and I wish there were similar dictionary apps for other languages, because it really is that good.

Baidu Tieba: this is one of the main Chinese forum networks, with conversations about practically everything under the sun. There are some useful ‘bars’ (i.e. threads) about grammar and vocabulary nuance that have helped my language acquisition directly, but most of the time, I’ve found that just reading posts on subjects that interest me, writing my own little responses, and (sometimes) getting into heated debates with other uses has worked miracles on my comprehension and usage of contemporary casual Mandarin.

Xiaohongshu: the iconic Chinese social media app, and the best place for beauty tips, book recommendations, and insight into the culture of China’s youth today. There has been an influx of Anglophone users in recent months, which has diluted the linguistic immersion aspect of the app, but this isn’t hard to sidestep, I don’t think, and the app is entertaining and interesting enough that I don’t consider this a big enough drawback not to still recommend it.

Wenlin: this is an old-school downloadable software, but really excellent for learning Chinese characters via etymology.

Zhongwen Chrome Extension: a helpful little tool that allows you to hover over characters for instant translation whilst using the internet.

Cantonese 🇭🇰

Foundational Grammar & Vocabulary

Sidney Lau’s Textbooks: very old-school, but I like the drill-style approach and functionality of the phrases that you learn, and the gradual progression between each stage. The ‘advanced’ books aren’t really advanced, they’re closer to intermediate, but there aren’t a great deal of specifically Cantonese textbooks out there, and I think these are some of the best currently available.

Routledge Cantonese: A Comprehensive Grammar: This is, I think, really the closest thing you’ll get to a decent foundational grammar book specifically for English speakers learning Cantonese as it’s spoken in Hong Kong, and again, Routledge has published a high-quality and useful overview. It’s much more academic and thorough than the foundational grammar options out there for Mandarin, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, in my opinion, although it’s definitely a bigger jump for beginners.

Reading

Serious publications: Ming Pao is excellent exposure to written Cantonese in a formal yet contemporary register. I also like reading Kung Kao Pao, the biggest Catholic newspaper in Hong Kong and one of the oldest. The Oriental News does a secondary editorial called 《功夫茶》 that I like to read, too, because it’s written in a more vernacular Cantonese and is aimed at a slightly older audience, so it gives me exposure to a completely different register.

Modern intellectual writers: I try to read as much in the Hong Kong literary tradition as I can, and I especially like the works of Liu Yichang, Xi Xi, Leung Ping-Kwan, and Wong Bik-Wan.

Listening

News outlets: RTHK, TVB News, and the Hong Kong branch of Phoenix TV. I also sometimes listen to old recordings of Citizens’ Radio broadcasts, for exposure to a wider array of viewpoints, accents, and registers.

Think HK video page: this has a wide array of interesting videos on all sorts of different topics, all in Cantonese.

Specific programmes I enjoy: Hong Kong Connection (for politics and local affairs), Headliner (a more satirical news programme, now suspended), 雷霆881 (the most-listened-to radio channel in Hong Kong), Sunday Report (weekly local affairs roundup), 《舊日的足跡》 (a radio programme about cultural heritage), 《自由風自由Phone》 (a call-in radio show, helpful for hearing speakers of different ages and registers).

Speaking & Pronunciation

Most of my tips here would be the same as in Mandarin: Pimsleur, speaking with natives, practising with tongue-twister drills, mimicking native speakers on TV and radio, etc. The book I would recommend here, for another in-depth academic monograph on Cantonese phonology, is Modern Cantonese Phonology by Benedict and Bauer.

Reference Books

Cantonese Colloquial Expressions (Lo Tam Fee-yin): this was an incredibly helpful book when I first visited HK and started working with and speaking with Cantonese speakers. It’s a really comprehensive overview of expressions in casual and everyday Cantonese usage, especially more figurative language.

《香港粤语词典》: it’s a little outdated and doesn’t contain the latest neologisms or slang, but this is the best foundational Cantonese dictionary for modern usage in Hong Kong that I’ve found.

ABC Cantonese-English Comprehensive Dictionary: this was published to match the ABC Chinese dictionary I’ve already mentioned above, but it focused exclusively on words limited to Cantonese usage, and omits entries that have the same meaning and usage in Mandarin

《广州话俗语词典》: this is another colloquial dictionary, but more focused on Cantonese-specific slang terms, with examples of usage and application. Books like these are always going to go out of date very quickly, because slang is always changing, but it’s helpful for the basics.

[bestiarium]

The Daidarabotchi [Japanese folklore; yokai]

The easiest way to imagine a scary monster is to make it giant. It comes as no surprise then that many, if not most, cultures have some concept of giants in their religion or mythology.

The Daidarabotchi – also Daidarabocchi or Daidarabochi, among other variations – are colossal beings from Japanese folklore. They are a kind of nature spirits and appear in many different stories.

So huge were these giants that their movements shaped much of the world as it is today: when a Daidarabotchi walked, its footprints became ponds or even lakes. Many important Japanese landmarks, including Mount Fuji and Lake Biwa, were said to have been created by Daidarabotchi in the distant past. In fact, Mount Fuji was supposedly built in a single night.

In another story, one of these giants lifted up both Mount Tsukuba and Mount Fuji and placed them on a pair of enormous scales, so he could see which mountain was heavier. 

In the 18th century Kaidan Hyakki Zue, the Daidarabotchi was depicted as a giant pitch-black humanoid creature. I don’t know if this is the first popular depiction of these creatures, but it caught on and became the standard look for these giants.

The Tearai Oni – which literally translates to ‘demon who washes its hands’ – is supposedly a member of this species. The Tearai Oni is a humongous creature known for its penchant for compulsively washing its hands in deep rivers, which it does by bending over backwards.

Among other places, a Daidarabotchi was said to inhabit the mountain Togakushi, which is supposedly a spiritual place inhabited by several kinds of supernatural beings.

Sources: Wakamori, T. (1989), The Hashira-Matsu and Shugendo, Japanese Journal of Religious Studies, 16, 181-194, p. 183-184. Davisson, Z. (2024), Ultimate Guide to Japanese Yokai, tuttle Publishing, 288 pp., p.193. Bane, T. (2016), Encyclopedia of Giants and Humanoids in Myth, Legend and Folklore, McFarland, 212 pp., p.51. Bane, T. (2016), Encyclopedia of Beasta and Monsters in Myth, Legend and Folklore, McFarland, 423 pp., p.311. (image source: TheJapanBox) (image: illustration from the 1798 Kaidan Hyakki Zue, Vol.1, by Katsukawa Shun’ei and Katsukawa Shunsho. Image taken from The Librarian Witch)

[tuttle-4077]

I actually mapped out, on paper (well, electronic paper), where Hochstetter's Revenge is going to go. I mean, I always have a pretty good plan, but sometimes my characters derail it. And I never have it written down. Just simmering on the back burner! But now I've got it! Only... 13 chapters to go?! But no more Carter whump until chapters 24 and 25.

[deepseaorchid]

She's a Rainbow - Lucy Gray Baird x Fem! Reader

Summary: Three short stories of moments where you fall deeper in love with your girlfriend, Lucy Gray. Inspired by Molly Tuttle's cover of the song "She's a Rainbow."

Pairing: (established relationship) Lucy Gray Baird x Fem! Reader

Warnings: None, Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I have a crush on Rachel Zegler. I wanted to try something different with this, so the formatting may be experimental.

“She comes in colours everywhere,”

“She combs her hair”

“She’s like a rainbow”

Lucy Gray Baird sat by the dock of the lake, combing her slender fingers through her wet hair absentmindedly. From the shore, you minded some of the younger Covey children, weaving some of the early Katniss blossoms into bracelets for them. As you tied the green vine around Maude Ivory’s slender wrist, you glanced up. Lucy Gray looked out over the glistening water, watching the sun cast golden reflections over the water. This low light only highlighted the colours in her hair, lighting it up different hues of brown and red mixed in with the dark.

She glanced over at you, meeting your eyes. You felt your face heat up but she only beamed at you. You smiled back at her. Maude Ivory called your name, snapping you back to attention. You looked down at her wrist. The green vines off the flower bracelet that had previously been braided had begun to come undone. You weren’t braiding them tight enough.

“Pay attention!” She giggled, shoving your shoulders gently with her free hand. You breathed a soft laugh.

“Sorry, sorry,” you smiled. You tried your best to focus on gently braiding the vines and stems of the Katniss plant together. The tall grass beside you shifts, and soft hair tickles against your shoulder. You glanced down. Lucy Gray leaned her head against your shoulder, her tan arm linked around yours. She sighed and leaned deeper into you. You rested your head against hers as you finished gently pulling the flower heads out from the inside of the bracelet, tying the vines off to finish. Maude Ivory held her hand out in front of her, admiring your work.

“You did such a good job!” She smiled before getting up and running off towards Clerk Carmine and Barb Azure. You smiled down at your now-empty hands before turning to Lucy Gray. Feeling you shift, she glanced up at you through her eyelashes. The low sun shone against the right side of her face, warming and lighting up her deep brown eyes. You tucked a loose strand of dark curly hair behind her ears.

“Have I ever told you that you have amber speckles in your eyes?” You whispered.

“Only a hundred times over, darling,” Lucy Gray smiled, leaning up and capturing your lips with hers. You smile against her sweet lips, caressing her cheek.

Lucy Gray grabbed your cheek, pinching gently. She pulled you in closer to her, peppering your soft cheek with a dozen tiny kisses, her lips pressing harder and harder against your cheek each time. You laugh hard. Lucy Gray smiles with each additional kiss. Finally letting up, she pulled away. Both of you were still giggling, trying to catch your breath. You pressed your forehead against hers.

“I love you,” you say between laughs, pecking her cheek once more.

“I love you too,” she smiled.

The glaring sun disappeared beyond the treeline as evening set upon District 12. You and Lucy Gray packed up your belongings for the day.

“We’re leaving in fifteen minutes, guys!” You called out to the younger Covey members out in the lake. A chorus of disappointed sighs called out from the water. You chuckled and busied yourself with tidying up, packing away picnic blankets and sweaters into your wicker basket you had brought with you.

“You’re a natural with them, you know?” Lucy Gray’s voice sounded out from behind you. You turned to look at her. She was covering her eyes, squinting slightly into the setting sun.

“Who? The kids?” You asked, hands still busy packing up wet clothes, blankets and toys from the day.

“Mhmm,” she sighed, walking up behind you and wrapping her arms around your stomach and burying her face in your neck. You reached down and took her slender fingers in yours, stroking your thumb over each of her knuckles.

“I could stay here forever, like this,” you whispered, voice barely audible. A gust of wind blew, and long dry grass tickled against your legs.

Lucy Gray only hummed in agreement, placing a soft kiss against the back of your neck.

Taking a deep breath in, you called out to the Covey.

“Time to go!”

Another cacophony of protests. Lucy Gray laughed hard, pulling you closer into her chest.

…

“Have you seen her dressed in blue?"

Lucy Gray twirled through the marketplace, a small bag in her hand. You trailed just behind her.

“Hurry up! There’s a reason we miss out on every good deal!” She laughed. You smiled down at your feet, dodging muddy puddles in the dirt road winding between stalls. Lucy Gray waltzed around the different stalls, the white skirt she wore spun elegantly. She reached her arms up to the sky, her bright blue blouse lifted up ever so slightly, exposing the skin on her stomach. Her blouse was almost the same colour as the sky after the rainfall - no, more beautiful. The deep cerulean colour complimented her features perfectly, lighting her eyes up as she smiled. 

She stopped in front of a stall with a burgundy awning, admiring the wares. This gave you just enough time to catch up. You squeeze past an elderly couple on the busy street and join her side. 

Lucy Gray held something in her hand, you couldn’t tell what it was. You watched her hand over a few coins to the shopkeeper - a wiry man holding a small child on his hip. You smiled at the both of them as Lucy Gray linked her fingers through yours, squeezing your hand.

“What did you buy?” You asked her, rubbing your nose against her cheek. She giggled, looking down.

“You’ll see,” she smiled mischievously. You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Please?” You ask, trying your best to give her puppy-dog pleading eyes. Lucy Gray’s cheeks blushed a gentle pink and she stuck out her bottom lip.

“Later? Promise it’ll be worth it,” she said. You sigh and nod your head, smiling before pecking her lips.

“See the sky in front of you”

The rain from earlier in the day had tapered off. Occasionally, a large droplet would fall on your head, or a gentle sprinkle would rain down on you. By now, the clouds were high and fluffy, as the day went on, the sky began to match the blue of your girlfriend’s blouse. Mud caked your shoes as you walked across the winding market roads. Lucy Gray’s fingers tickled your palm as she walked beside you.

“Want to stop for a bit?” She asked, turning to face you. You smiled sweetly at her.

“I think there’s a bench by that stall just ahead.” You said softly. 

Leading the way, you wind an arm around her waist and walk with her to a small wooden bench. Little puddles of rainwater lingered on the old wood. You pulled a blanket out from your small bag and placed it over the seat before sitting down.

Lucy Gray assumed her position next to you, tucking her shoulder into your side and resting her head against yours. You turn slowly and press a light kiss against her forehead. She sighed, content.

Around you, shoppers rushed around, desperate to snatch up deals in the dirty, open-air market. A flock of starlings flew above, chittering and dodging around lamp posts and buildings. The air around you was cool and damp, contrasting heavily to your loving girlfriend next to you. Her warm hand reached up and touched your face. Her fingers traced around your cheekbones, gently down to your jaw, before tracing the outline of your lips with her finger nail. Your eyes flicked down to her red lips, tilting your head slightly before capturing them in yours. She kissed you back almost instantly, wrapping her slender hand around the back of your neck. She pulled you into her lips deeper and you hum softly, eliciting a giggle from her.

“What?” You smile, pecking her lips one, two, three more times.

“Nothing,” she giggled back. Your hand trailed down to her side, poking her stomach gently. She shrieked and laughed and the sensation.

“Does that tickle?” You smirk. Reaching forward, you attack her with your fingers again. She squirms in your embrace as she tries to get away from you. “I’m not going to stop until you tell me what’s on your mind,” you smile against her skin, your lips ghosting across her neck. Lucy Gray reaches a shaky hand up and touches your shoulder. You lean back, lowering your hands. In between fits of laughter, she gasps out.

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.” You smile at your little victory.

Lucy Gray reaches into the pocket of her skirt and pulls out a small object wrapped in white cloth. She places it in the palm of your hand, biting her lip nervously. She looked so beautiful.

“Open it!” She says, adjusting herself to get a better view of the item in the cloth and your pretty face.

Your fingers delicately unwrap the thin fabric. Inside was a glistening indigo hairpin. You turned it over in your hand, holding it closer to your face. The winding metal depicted a little sparkling swan. 

You reached your arms forward and lunged at Lucy Gray, squeezing her thin frame tightly. 

“Thank you,” you muttered against her skin, burying your head into her neck. You felt her fingernail trace shapes up and down your spine.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly, kissing your hair and forehead.

“I love you.”

“Have you seen a lady fairer?”

…

“Have you seen her all in gold?”

Lucy Gray twirled around the stage, the metal accents of her blouse jangled to the melody her and the Covey members played. You smiled from off stage, hands clasped together as you cheered her performance on silently. 

You spent the last few weeks meticulously sewing together. Her outfit was regal, as close to royalty as District 12 could get. Her pale purple skirt flew out from underneath her as she twirled. You had dyed it with a bowl of crushed blackberries you had spent what little earnings you had on. The completion of the skirt had been marked with celebration in the Covey, your sweet girlfriend baking a blackberry tart just for you out of the remnants of the crushed juice and fruit.

Lucy Gray jumped around as she strummed her guitar, the little gold beads on tassels around the blouse neckline clinked together, adding an extra layer to the percussion of the song. They weren’t real gold, of course. You made them from flattened and rolled bronze, painting each one of them a pale yellow to give it the desired expensive appearance. It was only noticeable how tacky they looked up close. The audience would be none the wiser. Despite your struggles with finishing the blouse, Lucy Gray swore up and down just how much she loved it, trying it for you first, easing your worries and doubts.

“Like a queen in days of old”

Lucy Gray’s voice carried through the air of the Hob as peacekeepers and miners alike danced in front of the stage, spinning and tapping their feet against the hard floor. You watched her from the backstage area. Performing came naturally to her, her magnetic nature drawing others deeper and deeper into her song. She had a natural way of drawing others into her music and her. Her charm impacts you most of all. The upbeat melody of her guitar had a small smile drawing at the corners of your lips. You felt your head nodding along to her voice and the music.

Lucy Gray turned her head to look at you backstage. It was only momentarily, but it was enough to send a bolt of electricity through you, shocking you back to your senses. Your gaze softened as your eyes met her kind gaze. From this angle, the stage lights illuminated the left side of her face perfectly. The silver lighting cast a ring over her hair and face, like a halo or a tiara. She always looked regal, but tonight, she looked like the embodiment of grace. Your heart skipped, like it always does, when she looked at you. With only a glance, she signified to you that this would be the last song of the evening. You nodded, turning on your heels and disappearing behind the curtain to head to her dressing room.

“She shoots colours all around”

The red door to the dressing rooms clicked behind you. In the dim light of the backstage dressing room, you were tidying some Lucy Gray’s makeup away for her. Stacking containers and vials on top of one another in her little wooden makeup case. Preoccupied with making sure you had packed all of your love’s makeup essentials, you failed to hear the door open behind you again. Your breath hitched as you felt a pair of slender, warm hands snake around your hips.

“Did you like my song?” Lucy Gray’s sweet voice rang out from behind you. You turned around, smiling wide and holding her hands in place over top of your waist.

“I loved it,” you whispered to her, your eyes flicking down to her bright red lips. She said nothing, only tilting her head slightly, briefly capturing your lips.

“I wrote it for you, you know? That song,” she giggled. Your breath hitched.

“Really?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise. You hadn’t even paid attention to the lyrics, too focused on your girlfriend’s captivating aura. Her captivating aura naturally drew others in whenever she assumed her place in the spotlight. That included you, who clearly should have been paying more attention. 

She only nodded in response. “You do so much for me, for the whole Covey, but me especially. I didn’t know how else to thank you for this.” she said softly, gesturing down at the ‘gold’ embellishments of her blouse. Her soft doe eyes met yours, and within an instant your lips were against her lips, kissing her hard. You kissed her as though she was made of honey, pulling her bottom lip over and over again hungrily. Pulling away, you dip your head to the crook of her neck and push her against the dressing table. The mirror rattled slightly at the force of two people’s weight against it. You linked your right hand in hers, your other hand placed on her waist. Lucy Gray wrapped her free arm around your shoulders, pulling you in impossibly close to her. You felt her heart hammering against her chest, pressed against yours. 

“You’re the brightest star in the sky, Lucy Gray,” you whispered against her skin, squeezing her hand tighter.

“I shine just for you, darling,” she smiled.

“Like a sunset going down”

Leaving the Hob, you trekked through mud, arm in arm with Lucy Gray and the rest of the covey trailing behind. The evening rain splashed against your skin, wetting your eyelashes. Lucy Gray’s makeup was beginning to smudge. 

“You look like a racoon,” you laugh, holding her head in your hands and swiping your thumb against her lower eyelids. She looked down, catching a glimpse of her reflection in a puddle. She instantly burst out cackling, a sound akin to bells chiming, grabbing you tighter as she laughed at her appearance.

The remainder of the earlier sunset were barely visible in the sky. Now, District 12 was bathed in a lavender light. The laughter of the Covey echoed through red brick allies, making nearby Peacekeepers turn their heads as you marched through mud, soaked to the skin. Clerk Carmine ran ahead, springing up and leaping into a puddle, showering your already wet selves. As the water flew, it captured the light from nearby streetlights and the lavender sunset. For only a brief moment, time slowed down and you saw a million rainbows reflected in the water droplets. A rainbow only reflected in Lucy Gray’s eyes as she turned to you, beaming a wide smile that lit up her eyes. A smile so radiant it put the sun to shame. A smile she reserved only for you.

[zippocreed501]

Art by Michael Whelan

[backlogbooks]

Backlogbooks Bingo Challenge - Horror Recommendations (part 1)

To the surprise of no one, I'm starting off my challenge recommendations with horror! I'm getting the publication dates off of storygraph, so if I'm wrong, I take no responsibility <3

60s

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson -- Shirley Jackson! The queen! This one is such a combination of horror and humor and then horror again, about two sisters who live alone, ostracized by their town because of their family's dark past.

70s

Harvest Home by Thomas Tryon -- A very creepy folk horror novel about a family who leaves The City to come to a Small Town in new england, getting Close to Nature. Naturally, the townspeople have some dark secrets. I loved the atmosphere in this one--the slow building of dread, and trying to piece together exactly what the Dark Secret at the center of the harvest home festival is.

Jaws by Peter Benchley -- Okay, I don't know if I can actually recommend this, because to be honest with you, the movie is so much better. But also, if you're a shark movie fiend, this is a Piece Of History. Feel free to reply and argue with me if you love this book!

Carrie by Stephen King -- This book is about Carrie, a perpetually bullied girl who has the chance to go to the prom. I'm sure you know how it goes from there--but even if you do, I recommend reading the book. It's a heartbreaking horror novel, and I really enjoyed (slash hated) the way the tension mounts as you get closer and closer to The Bad Thing

The Shining by Stephen King -- Jack Torrance has a big new job as the caretaker at the Overlook Hotel during the off-season, and there's some evil afoot! Again, I feel like you know how it goes from there, but King is really so good at building dread and tension.

80s

A Nest of Nightmares by Lisa Tuttle -- Recently rereleased in the Paperbacks from Hell line, this is a collection of horror short stories that mostly center on women, with horrors both mundane and paranormal (but an emphasis on the paranormal). These stories were so creepy to me, and I really enjoyed the way that mood built. TW for rape (I can tell you which story for sure if you want! I'll just need to double check my copy to make sure I'm not misremembering)

Misery by Stephen King - He's back again! This is actually my favorite Stephen King novel (setting aside the dark tower series to make it a fair fight). Paul Sheldon, a bestselling novelist, is taken captive by his biggest fan, Annie Wilkes. Annie is like, my favorite villain I think. I've been wanting to reread this book for years because of her <3

2000

House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski -- Okay recommending this book does feel a little like trying to trap someone, but I love it. So! Will Navidson's house is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside; Johnny Truant is obsessed with a book by a blind man about a film that Navidson made that doesn't exist; everyone is lost in the labyrinth, including you. Please join me in this bonkers book. Conspiracy board supplies are not included, but you're encouraged to gather them up yourself as you go.

Uzumaki by Junji Ito -- Kurouzu-cho, a small fogbound town on the coast of Japan, is haunted by spirals. This is not as metaphorical as I imagined it would be when I first picked it up! The body horror in this book is insanely good, and there are some lines/images that are going to live in my head Forever. Highly recommend if you like horror manga.

2003

Come Closer by Sara Gran -- This is a fantastic possession book--it keeps you right in her point of view as she spirals down, trying to figure out if she is in fact possessed or if there's some other break with reality. I loved the "are you possessed" quiz as a guiding structure.

2006

The Ruins by Scott Smith -- Trapped in the jungle, far from home and with no way to get help, a group of friends face an inhuman horror. This had some of the most skin crawling body horror I've seen, and I loved the development of the antagonist (don't wanna say more because spoilers!). Great survival horror. What a terrible group of people to be trapped with.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks -- If you love yourself some worldbuilding and zombies, check out this book! World War Z gives you vignettes about different areas of the world, and different aspects of life during a zombie apocalypse. It was a slow read for me, but I really enjoyed the details.

2007

Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill -- An old rock star buys a ghost online, because he's a dumbass (aka because he "has a thing for the macabre"), and has to go through hell to get rid of it. It's been years, but I remember being deeply creeped out by this book!

2010

Feed by Mira Grant -- More zombies! This one set twenty years after the zombie apocalypse, following two bloggers who are working to uncover a conspiracy behind the Infected. This had political thriller vibes mixed in with the horror, which kept a fast pace, and I loved the main characters. Eventually I may even finish the series!

2011

The Ritual by Adam Nevill -- Four old friends try to push aside old and new tensions for a reunion hiking trip. Since that's not working, they try to take a shortcut and end up very, very lost--and very deep in woods that have more than just animals to worry about. I held my breath through a lot of the first half of this book. Good for folk horror fans or people who want to be very afraid of every forest they walk into.

2013

Dark Tales by Shirley Jackson -- Shirley Jackson again! This one is a collection of short stories, including "The Summer People" and "Louisa, Please Come Home," which are some of my favorites. Creeping dread, domestic horror, and the question of what happens when your life takes a sudden, unexplainable turn. Definitely recommend the edition with an introduction by Ottessa Moshfegh!

2014

Through the Woods by E.M. Carroll -- A collection of short horror comics, with dark fairy tale vibes. I want to eat E.M. Carroll's art style, or at least cover my house with prints from this book.

Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix -- Have you ever had a nightmare about being trapped in an ikea? Or, sorry, Definitely Not Ikea (So We Don't Get Sued)? Are you tired of your retail job? This is the book for you! Haunted ikea: much more terrifying than I expected it to be.

The Grownup by Gillian Flynn -- This is a quick, 64 page story about a young woman who pretends to be a psychic to get by, and ends up being pulled deeper and deeper into a family's dysfunction when she promises to help rid their home of ghosts or other powerful forces.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer -- Horror science fiction about Area X, an unexplained phenomenon where earth is returning to "pristine nature" with a horrific twist (or many of them). Our main character, the biologist, is one of my favorite characters I've ever read. I'm actually a little insane about her. Join me!

This is really long so I'm splitting it in two! Stay tuned for 2015-2019 recommendations next week :-)

And please recommend your favorite horror books for this challenge too!

[fear-planet]

The Nebula Award That Wasn't: Lisa Tuttle, "The Bone Flute," and a Stand for Integrity

If you’re a fan of science fiction and horror, you know that awards season is a time of excitement, debate, and—let’s be honest—a little bit of drama. But few moments in genre history are as fascinating, or as principled, as what happened in 1982 with Lisa Tuttle and her now-legendary Nebula Award REFUSAL. Steel yourselves, Fear Planet denizens—this is a story about integrity, controversy, and…

[graphicpolicy]

Haruki Murakami: Manga Stories is an interesting collection of four manga stories

Haruki Murakami: Manga Stories is an interesting collection of four manga stories #manga #comics #comicbooks #graphicnovel

Haruki Murakami‘s stories in graphic novel form for the first time! Haruki Murakami’s novels, essays and short stories have sold millions of copies worldwide and been translated into dozens of languages. Now for the first time, many of Murakami’s best-loved short stories are available in graphic novel form in English. Haruki Murakami Manga Stories 1 is the first of three volumes, which will…

[remembertheplunge]

What's your take on this Corona Virus World?

I have New Dimensions on—perfect for now. Will Tuttle Phd talks about intuition.

I went to the gym passing my friends barber shop which is two doors down from the gym in the same shopping center. My friend, the owner of the barber shop, was taping a hand made “closed sign” on the door of his barber shop. His shop is not closed. It’s just gone under ground due to Covid 19. He said “I’m glad that I had the windows tinted.”

He paused and asked me “as a lawyer, what’s your take on this?”

(As a lawyer, as an elder, as a survivor, thriver, what’s your take on this Corona Virus world?)

I said ‘It’s like a scene from “A Night To Remember” a 1958 movie about the 1912 sinking of the Titanic.. It stared Robert Wagon and Barbara Stanwick. The ship is sinking after striking an ice berg. A man is headed back into the ship interior through a doorway to see if anyone needs help. Another man yells “For God’s sake man, don’t go in!” He says “For God’s sake, I must." He goes in and black smoke billows out.

The barber lit up around “Titanic”story. . I said ”Fall back on hard parts of your life. They are your models to survive this. He is a Chicano and said that he was raised in the hood. He was present for the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles in 1992

I said that the homeless provide a model to thrive in a horrible landscape and still radiate joy.

So, now, the barber shop and the gym become speakeasies! (Both have blacked out windows to hid the communal hair cuts and workouts which had ben banned due to Covid 19)

Beautiful rugged sky today. A cool temperature.

Martin called. He left his back pack and coats in his car parked in front off my house.

Would I bring them to him at the store at 9th street and Highway 99? I checked his car. No back pack. When he learned of the backpack theft, his face reflected  pure loss. Unabashed loss. Later, I let it wash over me. 

I gave him my backpack—the one I bought at CSU Chico. Kind of a beloved bag to me-

Didn’t realize I was at the end here (of this journal book)

Since the journal began with a quote 12 days ago, I t’s fitting it should end with one:

“Sometimes a wound is the place where we encounter life for the first time, where we come to know it’s power and it’s ways.”

Dr Rachel Remen. From “Thriving Through Tough Times" p.123

End of entry

Notes: 3/26/2025;  Speakeasies were secret bars during Prohibition. From 1920 to 1933, alcohol was illegal in America. So, people drank illegally at Speakeasies.

New Dimensions is a radio show in which new age authors and thinkers are interviewed. New Dimensions shows began in 1973.

Martin was a friend who had lived with me for a few years but then became homeless.

His backpack had been stolen from his car which was parked ifn front of my house.

The Covid survival lessons might apply to life in the current growing Trump Musk authoritarian state climate of fear.