#tw labour and c-section

[tteokdoroki]

tw: breastfeeding, bad pregnancies n supportive bakugou cries

“what’re you doin’ down here?”

it’s the middle of the night; probably nearer to three in the morning when you catch your husband’s gruff voice before you see him emerge into the kitchen; the sharp edge of his handsomely matured jawline illuminated by the silver moonlight. smiling as he rubs sleep from his ruby encrusted eyes— you hold up a baby bottle mina had gifted you from the baby shower, filled with breast milk as you set a timer up on the warmer.

“your son was hungry again,” you hum, placing the bottle back into the warmer, smiling as warm and familiar arms wrap around your waist and calloused fingers trace the c-section scar. “he wouldn’t latch so i figured we’d try a bottle tonight.”

bakugou makes a noise of disapproval in his throat, squeezing you close to his chest as if to cushion you— protect you. “y’shoulda come ‘n got me, need all the rest you can get feedin’ a hungry tike like that all day,” he rasps into the shell of your ear, swaying your bodies to the quiet tick of the one minute timer on your baby bottle warmer. “we agreed t’split feeding, r’member?”

your husband is warm, like a comforting hug or the safest place to be in the world— and if you’re not careful, you might fall asleep standing up. “i didn’t know you were awake kats, besides you just came back from a long mission and—“

“firstly.. had to put the little princess back t’bed, she wanted to know how her parents met.” bakugou grunts, spinning you softly in his arms— fingers brushing over your wedding ring, his forehead practically plastered to yours. “secondly, none of that, we’re a fuckin’ team, we do this shit together,”

maybe it’s the left over hormones tingling through your body; the exhaustion of being a mother to two of the country’s most adored children and the wife of a top pro hero… but you feel yourself curl in on katsuki, feel your body flood with relief knowing that you can always count on him no matter what you both go through.

the timer on the bottle warmer ticks with the indication that your son’s late night meal is ready— and before you can reach for it, bakugou has your eyes on his once again. tired with age and becoming new parents for the second time, the stress of your son’s difficult pregnancy and labour evident in the crease between his brows despite you both being closer to the start of your careers than retiring, but masked by the love in his eyes.

he picks it up, kissing your forehead as he goes— guiding you back up to the first floor of the home you built together, where you part ways at the landing. bakugou to the nursery and you back to the comfort of your bed.

“get some rest,” katsuki tells you, sleepy but warmly. “don’ wait up for me, kay?”

you know that your hungry four month old son is in good hands, that your three year old daughter is sleeping safe and soundly— but something in your heart tells you that you can’t truly rest until the last bakugou is tucked into your arms tonight.

“no promises,” you say wistfully, grateful to your husband and your children— counting your blessings too.

[invivoinsomnium]

I would love to a c section rp with complications so what complications do you like when you do rp are you into adding cpr and defib with the rp

Hello,

Thank you for your question. Truthfully, I don't have much of an answer, simply because this is something aid discuss with my RP partner.

My preference is long, hard, and difficult labour. I dont mind a c-section or other types of births like forceps and vacuums.

Though, honestly, aim not abig fan of defib or cpr or anything leading to death or bursting.

TW: blood/c-section beneath cut

[barbiewritesstuff]

Baby Sister

-- Hi, hello, more Dad !Jake for y’all because I love him and I love George. I channel all my damn baby-fever into George so this is suuuuuper self-indulgent lol. Enjoy !  

Disclaimer : I know nothing about birth or pregnancy, I wrote this at work during my lunchbreak so I did not check anything. I am sorry if there are inaccuracies, I hope it doesn’t spoil your enjoyment of this fic. 

Tw. Childbirth, mention of complicated birth, mention of labour, etc

Taglist: @mavswife @unsurebuttrying @dempy

@peaches-1999 -- 

 

« You did such a good job, baby » Jake whispers, caressing your face with his hand. Your hair is slick with sweat but it doesn’t seem to matter to your husband as he leans down and places a kiss to your cheek. 

« I’m so proud of you, honey »  

Jake bends his head forward so your foreheads touch 

« So damn proud »  

You’re still trying to catch your breath after your harrowing 48 hours of labour during which the nurses had almost wheeled you off for an emergency c-section, in the end though, you had powered through and given birth to your daughter naturally. 

« There she comes » The nurse says.  

She has been with you since you came in, going so far as to switch her shift with one of her colleagues so she could be there with you through the entire thing. You know her a little, she was your nurse when you gave birth to George and she remembers what a scared mess you were then.  

When she places your daughter on your chest, you almost weep with joy. Your little bundle of joy is so small. She fits so comfortably on your chest that you wonder if it wasn’t made just for her. You take her little hand in yours and gently kiss her fingers, she doesn’t stir but when Daddy places a gentle kiss on the top of her head, she lets out an adorable little sigh.  

« Do you have a name for her ? » 

« I think we decided on Victoria » You say, caressing her little head. 

« It’s lovely » The nurse says, her voice soft and gentle as she looks at your daughter.  

« She looks just like Mummy » She adds. 

You chuckle. George looked just like Mummy too up until the five month mark, then he turned into the spitting image of his father. You imagine Victoria will do the same.  

« You’ll be able to receive visitors in the morning, right now, we’re going to whisk her off for some checks but she’ll be back soon » 

She takes her off your chest after one last kiss from both of her parents and bundles her up nicely before exiting the room with her. 

You both wait until she’s placed into the cot next to you to drift off to a restless sleep. You and Jake wake up often just to check on her, feed her and sometimes just to hold her. Jake was in love. He sported the same lovestruck expression he had when he had seen George for the first time, the one that made you fall a little deeper in love whenever you thought about it.  

 

Jake had liked to think being a pilot was his calling, but being a father had taken over that title as soon as George had been placed into his trembling arms. Holding Victoria, so tiny and precious, only reinforced that.  

They can clip my wings tomorrow and I wouldn’t care, he thinks. As long as he’s with his family, he’s happy. 

« Is it too early to think about having a third one ? » You ask and Jake chuckles 

« Let’s shelve that discussion until you’re cleared for that kind of stuff, yeah ? »  

You pout and Jake laughs. He tries to do it quietly, but Victoria still stirs. 

« Sorry » He mumbles 

 

 

Morning eventually arrives. The nurse brings you some breakfast, which you don’t eat, you remember hospital food from the last time you were here. Before you can send Jake to get you something from McDonalds, the nurse fishes out some cookies out of her pocket, they look homemade.  

« You’re so kind » You say, emotional from the birth and the light sleep deprivation. Tears are threatening to come out as you unwrap the wrapper. Your nurse chuckles and wraps you into a gentle hug. 

« And I’ve got a coffee on the go for you » She tells Jake. He looks ever so relieved. 

He fusses over the baby as you happily eat the chocolate chip cookie, taking her in his arms and kissing her all over. He’s so gentle with her it makes your heart flutter.  

« Do you think he’ll be awake ? » Jake asks. You know he’s anxious for George to meet his little sister. It’s 5 am though and your little boy is not an early riser. 

« You can text Bob, maybe he can wake him up ? »  

 

 

George is asleep when Bob gets the text.  

He has tried to sleep, the spare bed in your house is comfortable but he’s been antsy since he received news that your baby had arrived.  

Your baby girl, his goddaughter. 

He’s never been a godfather before. Well, until George, he hadn’t been around children too much. It was a shame, he always had a soft spot for them. Babysitting George only reinforced the idea that when he found the right woman, he would love to have his own.  

Still, caring for George was easy. He was a gentle, well-behaved, polite and kind little man who rarely ever fussed. And, he was four so all Bob had to do to keep him occupied was place some legos or a couple of airplanes in front of him and Georgie would be in the zone for hours. A baby would be different. He would need to be so gentle because she’d be so delicate. He was so scared to hurt her.  

Bob hadn’t expected Jake to ask him to be Godfather but he had been honoured. He’d accepted, obviously but even after reading some baby books, he felt terribly unprepared to even hold a newborn.  

It was after that thought that the anxious feeling in his chest becomane slightly overwhelming. He swung his legs off of the bed and checked his phone to see the text. 

It’s okay, Bob tells himself as he makes his cup of coffee. He’s surprised to see that Jake actually drinks decent stuff, since he seems to be able to stomach the coffee they have on base and on the carriers, but these grounds are a nice brand. The only indication that they do belong to Jake is the fact that Bob knows you don’t drink coffee. When he pours himself a cup, it tastes nice and it smells wonderful. In the time it takes for the coffee to cool, Bob snaps a picture of the grounds and saves it for later. 

He enters Georgies bedroom. An adorable child’s bedroom where the walls have been painted to look like the sky filled with planes with a thin strip of earth near the baseboards. There is a little F15 hanging above the bed, swaying in the breeze of the open window. He touched the boy’s back and gently rubs it until he wakes. George looks grouchy when he sits up, looking at him with the same scowl Jake sports whenever he wakes up from a nap after a mission. Bob chuckles lightly 

« Daddy wrote me a message. We can go and visit your little sister » He says 

Georgie replied with a groan but he jumps off of the mattress anyway, and Bob figures that’s a good sign.  

« Can I stay in my pijamas ? » The boy asks with a sleepy little voice 

« Sure, buddy » Bob replies, even though he’s not sure how you’ll feel towards it. To avoid your wrath, he packs some clothes into a bag and makes George wear some shoes before pouring his coffee into a lidded cup and loading both of them into his truck.  

George falls asleep in the car and Bob carries him into the hospital. The maternity ward is on the third floor, but as muscles as Bob is, his arm grows tired and by the first floor, he has to wake Georgie up and let him walk. They get to your room and when they do, they find the team occupying all the chairs. Georgie waves and they wave back.  

Bob knocks on the door, but doesn’t wait for an answer before opening it. You’re in bed still, looking exhausted but fine and Bob breathes a sigh of relief. He knows you had a rough time of it during your labour, having been on the receiving end of Jake’s panicked texts. Jake looks well enough, his hair gelled back and neat but his shirt crumpled and askew, giving him a distinctly dischevelled look. George jumps up on the bed before anyone can stop him. He engulfs you into a bear hug and smacks a kiss onto your cheek. 

« I missed you » He whispers into your ear like it’s a secret before getting picked up by Jake. 

« Did you miss me too ? » Jake asks and Georgie nodds vigorously « Uncle Bo let me stay up to watch cartoons » He rats Bob out with great delight.  

« Oh yeah, what time did you go to bed ? » Jake asks, side-eyeing him with a smile 

« Not late, I promise. We watched a little Scooby-Doo and then he went to bed on time » Bob rushes to defend himself. Jake laughs and puts his son back on the ground. 

« Do you want to hold your little sister ? » He asks 

Georgie nods. He’s barely tall enough to see her over the walls of the cot. Bob helps him sit on the chair and Jake brings Victoria over. He places her gently in his arms. George looks into his little sister’s eyes and smiles. 

« She’s small ! » 

« Yeah, she is, isn ‘t she ? Her name is Victoria » 

« Is she going to be small forever ? » 

« No, she’ll grow up to be as big as you one day » 

« Was I small too ? » 

Jake chuckles 

« I like her » Georgie says. He leans over her very carefully and kisses her cheek. Victoria makes a little sound. 

« I think she likes me too » He says, delight coming through his voice.  

Eventually Jake lifts her out of George’s hands. The boy whines for a second but stops when you pat the empty space in the bed next to you. He clambers in to snuggle you. 

« Do you want to hold her ? » Jake asks Bob and Bob nods furiously. He sits down, afraid that he might either drop her, or faint if he doesn’t. Jake places the little budle into his arms and Bob’s heart does a backflip.  

« Hi Victoria » He whispers, she looks at him with two round eyes. He’s fairly certain she can’t see him, but it feels like she’s peering directly into his soul. Her little mouth contorts into a toothless grin and Bob lets out a breathy laugh.  

« I don’t really know what to say » He says eventually « Are you sure you want me to be her Godfather ? » 

« Wouldn’t dream of having anyone else, Bobby » You say 

Bob looks down at his Goddaughter again.  

He can’t wait to have his own one day.  

[couchpotatoaniki]

Baby

Being a first-time parent isn’t so easy. Thank goodness you don’t have to go through it alone.

Pairing: Dad!Yunho x Mum!Reader Genre: Domestic AU, M E G A  F L U F F Warnings: cruddy fake fairytales, mentions of labour, mentions of a C-section Word count: 1.1k+

“Milk,” Yunho mumbled, darkness of the kitchen slowly lulling him back to sleep despite him standing up. “Where’s the milk?”

Operating on a half-asleep brain was not good, especially when it had been sleep deprived for many nights prior. Thank god he was on paternity leave otherwise he wouldn’t be able to function at all at work tomorrow.

The baby had woken up once again for the second time that night--the first for a nappy change, and now for some food. You were about to go get one of the bottles you had filled with pre-pumped breast milk, but Yunho stopped you.

Already saw how it was difficult for you to move that much after the birth of your gorgeous child; unfortunately, the umbilical cord was wrapped around its neck so an emergency C-section had to be carried out, leaving you with stiches that could easily get infected if you didn’t take care of it properly.

Even then, being pregnant and in labour sounded (and looked) painful enough, so Yunho had already decided to help you in any way that he could before and after you had delivered.

His hand had rummaged around the fridge until tightening around the cold bottle. Too cold for the baby, so he hat to heat it up in the bottle warmer so that it was just right.

Sighing, he walked towards you, trying to quieten the crying baby in your arms as you swayed sleepily side to side. You hated hearing it cry, the noise ringing in your ears, making it hard to focus.

Motherly instincts kicked in during pregnancy; you and Yunho were doing some daily shopping when you heard a toddler crying loudly, its wails making you want to curl up in a ball and cover your ears to that it would stop ringing in your ears.

Apparently it was normal to have such a reaction--Yunho told you, since he did quiet a bit of research, not just from books, but both of your mothers.

Your husband took the baby from your hands--with some difficultly since you held on a little tight, not wanting your crying baby out of the protection of your arms, but ultimately handed it over since you knew Yunho was going to take care of him.

“Shhh, baby,” he cooed at his newborn, smiling faintly at the warmth erupting through his chest. Eagerly taking the rubber nipple in its mouth, the child began to suckle out the warm milk.

“How did I get so luck with you?” You said, head resting on one of his broad shoulders as he swayed ever so gently, slowly lulling not just the small being, but you as well, to sleep.

He rested his head on top of yours, feeling his lids droop a little. “Question is,” he yawned, “how on earth did I get lucky with you?”

Hearing no response from you, he looked to your face, only to find you sleeping peacefully with a content smile and relaxed features. Really not wanting to move away from you, he held the baby close to him with one hand and moved you slowly back down to your pillow with the other.

Waiting for the child to have its fill, Yunho began telling it a little story.

“Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. He loved to dance and play, but no one would because he was a Prince. But one day, the young Prince didn’t want to be a prince anymore, since everyone was looking at him and he had too many responsibilities. So what did he do?”

The child unlatched its mouth to gargle gibberish at him before going back to feeding.

“That’s right. He ran away, deep into the forest where no one would find him again. But what he didn’t know, was that there was a beautiful girl who lived in the middle of the woods. And the girl was known as the Woodland Maiden.”

The baby spoke gibberish once more, making its father giggle.

“I know, it is a very fancy name. But that was what she was called. The Woodland Maiden had seen the fear in the Prince’s eye, and asked if there was anything she could do to help. The Prince only asked for one thing: her presence.

“For some reason, the young Prince felt comforted by the Maiden, wanting her to stay with him for as long as she could. So she stayed and looked after him, finding that she too enjoyed being with him. But she knew that the Prince had to go back to his own kingdom and take on the responsibilities of a prince.

“Eventually she convinced him to return back to the castle, promising to one day meet again. But the Prince didn’t want to meet ‘one day’. He wanted to meet her every day. He wanted to wake up to her face every morning, and be the last thing she sees when she goes to sleep.

“The Prince loved her very much, and when he realised that, he asked for her to join him in the castle. Conflicted by her need to be in the woods, she didn’t know what to say. That was until the Prince told her that she could visit any time she liked, for however long she liked.

“Ecstatic, she agreed to his offer immediately, glad that she could still be with the person she loved and still have her freedom. Soon after, the two got married, and had a wonderful child, who grew up to be an amazing person itself.”

Seeing how the child in his arms had fallen asleep during the story, Yunho chuckled and kissed it on its forehead, whispering, “the end...”

Placed the product of your love between the two of you, as he lay back down on his side, wrapping the three of you under the thick covers of your bed.

His hand lay to rest on your waist, the shirt ridden up to expose your tummy of scars and stretch marks.

You thought they were ugly. He thought they were beautiful.

Fingertips traced over each one he could feel, rubbing the skin occasionally because he loved how it felt beneath his palms. Planting a kiss on your cheek, he used his other hand to brush away the strands of hair sticking out of your bun and into your face.

Surreal, how you looked while you slept. Like he could gaze at you all night if he was not so tired himself.

Pulling his hand from your tummy, he rested it on his sleeping baby, only to feel yours underneath his--protecting it even when you were unconscious.

Grinning to himself, he though to himself how he really was lucky to have his Woodland Maiden and your baby with him.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

My little angels (Tatum x Claire)

Summary: Two births. Two different experiences. Two sisters. And only 3 years and 3 month apart.

Prompt: 43. A kiss pressed to the top of the head.

Words: 2442

Rating: PG

Warning: labour / emergency c-section / childbirth / pain

A/N: Thank you, dear anon for your request. I hope you will like it, I’m not sure if I’m particularly happy with all parts, and it got too raw too quickly. I literally wrote what I felt, so sorry for any kind of mistakes. Read under the cut

The crucifying pain shot through Claire in a flush, knocking the air out of her lungs and leaving her breathless.

Her breath caught in her throat and the dry lump of emotions formed there with the tears that started to burn at the corners of her eyes, while the feeling of another inevitable bout of pain washed over her. Getting ready to tear through her with the sob and the plea, that she couldn’t push back anymore.

But before she could say anything or plead for mercy... the seconds before she could feel another fit of pain rip through her, she felt two strong hands gently wrapping around her bringing her closer to a firm muscled chest, soothing her… calming her, and just for a second making her forget about the pain... just for a second.

“You are doing so great,” whispered a familiar voice, breaking through the fog of agony she was into. “I’m in such an awe of you,” said the man pressing a soft affectionate kiss to the top of her head.

Her forehead dropped onto his chest while she was breathing heavily, feeling his fingers drawing soft soothing circles into her scalp, making the pain step back for a little bit longer. Her eyes closed from exhaustion, while she tried to breath.

“I cannot...,” she half-sobbed, half-whispered into his chest. Her voice hoarse and dry from all the pain and emotions. The lump still blocked her throat making it almost painful to speak, while his hands gently tightened around her feeling how her body stiffened with another rush of pain. “It hurts... so much,” Claire breathed. Her fingers curl around the crisp material of his shirt, and the pain is so strong that she almost forgets how to breathe. Opening and closing her mouth in a futile attempt. Her eyes squeezed shut, hoping that if they will remain like that, then the pain will not come.

“Hey, look at me, breathe.... just breathe. One in... and one out,” Tatum murmured, cupping her face in his hand. His voice is calming and soothing, guiding her through the process, breathing in unison with her. So gently... so carefully... Her rock... her strength…

One in... and one out. One in... and one out.

“You are almost there,” Claire heard another voice breaking through the fog of her mind and she prepared herself for another wave of pain. Squeezing her eyes even firmer, but breathing at last. 

One in... and one out.

“Soon we will finally meet our little girl,” Claire breathed, finally opening her eyes and raising them to meet Tatum’s, smiling weakly at him. Her hands still curled around the material of his shirt, while she breathed in and out, feeling the calming movements of his chest with every breath he took.

She could feel how another rush of contractions surged onto her. Her forehead wrinkled from pain and her eyes squeezed shut, while she grunted into Tatum’s shirt. Their breathes synced, calming her as nothing else could before another command to push followed after another excruciating wave of pain struck her.

Push... push... push... followed after every contraction and she did just so... following without questions, bravely meeting the pain, but still no result, and she almost wants to give up. Just to close her eyes... and forget all the pain... rewind the days and try next time... but she doesn't.

Instead Claire squeezes her eyes, and pushes with the last bit of strength left in her before collapsing back into Tatum’s arms. Feeling, how they softly curl around her offering her all the strength and support he can... all the strength and support she needs.

“Sorry... I can’t... I just.... make it stop... please just make it stop,” she sobbed into his shirt, while he brushed the strands of hair out of her eyes. His hand cupping her cheek gently, making her look at him, while they still had time before another command and another contraction would inevitably follow.

“Honey, you can do that. I know you can,” he whispered softly, locking his eyes with hers, before pressing their foreheads together. They breathes synced, while another command followed only a second later and she pushed. Her hands dug into his. Her nails breaking the skin of his forearms, while she cried out and pushed with the last effort and strength she could find in her.

Her body fell into Tatum’s embrace in exhaustion and her eyes snapped open, focusing on the midwife and the small figure covered in a red bloody substance in her hands. Both waiting with the bated breath, while the seconds were ticking.

One... two...thr... faint soft sigh... cry.

The baby was crying. Their baby was crying.

And they could feel how they finally could breathe again. Feeling how their own tears started to flow, while Tatum pressed a soft kiss to the top of Claire’s head, to her forehead, her nose and then finally to her lips.

Murmuring the words of gratitude and love over and over, while covering her in small, affectionate kisses. Their tears mixing together before the baby, cleaned and wrapped into the blanket, was finally brought to them and put into Tatum’s hands.

“You did it,” he said in a voice full of awe and love. His cheeks still stricken by tears and his eyes moist, while he pressed a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“We did it,” murmured Claire looking at Tatum with a weak loving smile, before dropping her eyes to their baby girl, letting her small little hand wrap around her finger. “Hey, Lilibeth. Welcome to the world.”

Lilibeth, the filipino name that mixes Lily and Beth, his mum’s favourite flowers and the name of Claire’s grandmother from her father’s side.

————————————————

3 years and 3 months later, same hospital and she once again in pain. Claire’s hand firmly gripping Tatum’s, doubling with a scream, while waiting for someone to come after them. She wasn’t so far into the labour and another three weeks till her due date, but the pain is so much worse than with their first and she knows... or at least she suspects that it’s only the beginning.

Her forehead covered in beads of sweat, while she gritted her teeth. Her waters broke an hour ago, but pain seems to jump from zero to ten in one go... with the gush of water to the kitchen floor where she was laughing till her sides hurt only a second before with Denise and her father in law over one of Tatum’s childhood memories. While he was scowling just meters away, mumbling something under his breath before he heard her gasp and he was right next to her in a flash. Cradling her in his strong, comforting arms before she screamed, feeling how her abdomen tensed and the pain shoot through her, making another young man rush to them with the panicked look on his face.

Should I have coloured my hair back to my natural colour or should I let them wash out... the sudden thought strikes her. The thought that seems to be coming from nowhere through the flush of another spasm and pain. Her brow furrowed in concentration trying to determine where it even came from. Doing everything she could to get distracted from pain. And even though she knows that Tatum loves her in any form and appearance, the doubt still creeping, overlapping with another contraction in her abdomen, that makes it rock solid, and the grip on his hand bone-crashingly firm.

“Everything will be okay. Doctor will be here in a moment,” tries to calm her Tatum, easing her hand gently while it didn't break any bones in his.

“You are the one to talk,” Claire snapped, bracing herself for another wave of pain, her stomach getting firmer and she could feel the pain rushing onto her like a wrecked train. The tears welling on her eyes, while she tried to breathe. “God... how did I even let you do that to me again...,” she sobbed, gripping his hand firmer, while another gripped the lapels of his jacket. “Never again... Oooof.... fuck you and yours.... Oh God...,” she panted, feeling his hand squeezing hers, while another wraps around her waist, letting her bury her face on his chest, whimpering softly.

“I think that was the reason why we got into that position in the first place,” chuckled Tatum into Claire’s hair, rubbing her back softly and kissing the top of head.

Realising the mistake of his words only an instance later, when she hit him hard in his chest. Baffling him only a second later, when he heard a muffled bark of hoarse laugh against his chest. But before he could say anything his eyes stopped on the midwife who was finally approaching them with Blaine hot on her heels. And he could feel how some of the tension left his body, thankful to Blaine for getting someone to finally look at them using his status. The thing Tatum knew for a fact Blaine hated to do, but still done for them.

“Thank you,” said Tatum, turning to Blaine as soon as Claire was put into the wheelchair and rolled to the examination room. “Hey, she will be okay,” tried to convince him Tatum, or was it he himself who needed that, or both when he met a panicked look on Blaine’s face. But before he could say anything else or followed after his wife and midwife they heard an alarm coming from the room where Claire disappeared. Tatum felt instantly numb feeling how the fear that something happened washed over him and they both ran into the room.

The scene they were both met with, made Blaine instantly look away while Tatum froze, the words failing him and he could distantly hear the question that he was asked.

“Yes... yes, I’m her husband,” numbly said Tatum, watching how Claire was moved to the gourmet.

“You shouldn’t worry, we will make sure...,” said the woman placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t hear her, as the only sounds in his ears were the pounding of his own heart and the roaring of his blood.

He didn’t feel how Blaine led him to the waiting area, didn’t hear him trying to comfort him and he didn’t know how much time had passed. The only thing he could feel and hear was a paralysing fear, the one he never felt before, the one that grabbed him with a stranglehold and did not let go... the one that made his breath shallow and his vision blurred... the one he didn’t know how to deal with.

It was minutes... or hours... or seconds. He didn’t know... he just didn’t... the fear unlike any other gripped at his throat, when he felt a hand placed carefully at his shoulder bringing him back to present... tearing him away from the thoughts he was having...

He couldn’t lose her... Their little girl cannot lose her... 

The fear punched holes in his heart, and his breathing hollows, almost like a panic attack he didn’t have in years... since the early childhood after his mother’s death, after he needed to become strong for Claire... and now he was losing her... them...

Distantly he could feel someone’s hand on his, but he couldn’t move, trying to breath, until the hand squeezed his firmer, and he could hear someone’s voice trying to break through to him... through the beating of his heart in his ears... through the fear... until he felt something small got placed in his hands, helping him held something... someone, realisation dawned at him a second later. His eyes dropped to the baby, the small bundle in his hands before raising them to meet Blaine’s gaze who was squatting in front of him, preventing his arms from shaking, helping him to hold the baby... smiling.

“She is okay. Both of them,” replied Blaine to an unasked question, watching how relief washed over Tatum.

“Can I...,” the question stuck in Tatum’s throat while he raised his eyes watching over Blaine’s shoulder at the elderly woman behind him.

“Mrs. Mendoza is still recovering from anaesthesia, but you can see her,” sounded a reply. “She suffered some minor blood loss, but other than that both her and baby are feeling good and will be able to go home within a day or two,” the woman said, while Tatum carefully stood up holding their newborn girl and following the nurse toward the ward.

First what she felt was the dryness of her throat, like she didn’t have anything to drink for days... weeks even or if she would spend some time in a desert.

The second, was the heaviness of her eyelids. And the feeling that she wouldn’t be able to open them even if she would try. So heavy that she kept them closed, trying to adjust her other senses first.

And the last, she felt a fear that quickly turned into relief when Claire heard the voice of her husband... her Tatum, cooing with someone... their daughter. Thanks God... she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, relief rolling over her in waves together with a raspy cough ripping through her throat before she cleared it.

“Hey,” she spoke, her voice raspy and hoarse and cutting her throat as nothing else did. Her eyes still closed before she tried to flutter them open. “Is she okay?”

“Yes, she is. She is precious,” she hears next to her and she tries to sit or at least she thinks she tries to do that before she feels a warm hand over hers. “You did it,” Tatum’s voice so close to her now, and she can feel his soft lips pressing to her forehead in a lingering kiss, while her eyes finally flutter open to meet his, and to look at their girl.

“We...,” she tries to object, but the soft press of his lips to hers cut her off.

“You did it,” murmurs Tatum against her lips. His arms holding hers securing them around their daughter, helping her to hold their girl.

“She is perfect,” Claire murmurs still hoarsely,

“Yes, she is... and as strong and brave just like her mother,” he whispers, leaning toward the little girl cradled in their arms, pressing a softest kiss to her forehead. His murmur like a rustle of leaves on the wind. “Hey, Ana. Welcome to the word.”

Ana... Anita, the name of the Spanish origin, the middle name of her mother’s, as strong and as brave like the woman who gave her life and who he loves.

Tagging: @kowshikha @sophxwithers​ @itsjustwinter @ramseysrookiex​​​ @lahelasaveiro​ @mercury84choices​ @choices-bound​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @starrystarrytrouble​

[winged-kuribeau]

In your verses tab, you say Bastion's mother died shortly before he was born. How did that happen?

Complications during labour. Her body couldn’t handle it and gave out. Bastion was born by emergency C-section. He theorises his father kind of resents him for it.

[animeomegas]

So some people die in c-sections or they hemorrhage a lot, so I wonder if Neji had complications during his c-section, who would he prefer his Alpha choose to keep alive if they had to? His miracle pup or himself? -angsty thoughts-

- 💋 anon

💋 anon, hello, nice to meet you!!

TW: infant death/death in labour

As for your questions, oh boy... this is a doozy...

This is complicated, because for Neji, he would lose his pup either way, there is no situation where they can be together, and that's heart breaking.

I...

I don't think Neji could choose.

I think he would ask his alpha to choose.

It might be selfish, but Neji doesn't want the guilt of making that decision. He can't be the one to have to condemn his child to death. And he can't be the one to abandon his mate when he promised not to.

It's heavy, and Neji, who has never been a 'bury their head in the sand' type, really wishes he was. He just wants to believe that they'll both survive just fine.

Hopefully, they both talk it through beforehand and reach a decision together. (Neji will default to following his alpha in this one, most likely.)

But if it's life or death on the operating table and it's up to Neji's alpha... Well, obviously it depends on the alpha, but I think most people would save Neji.

Neji's a full person, with friends and a job and a family. And as much as they both adore their pup more than anything, they are a 'what could've been' not a 'what currently is'.

So, they save Neji.

Of course, when Neji wakes up without his pup, he shuts down, completely consumed by grief, but he doesn't blame his alpha.

It's a pretty awful situation in every way, and Neji always considers that pup his first child.

Ahh, this question is so sad, I just want to live in a world where everything is okay, all the time, please.

[blesspastacraig]

Complicated - Chapter Fourteen (Creek)

"I'm gonna have a baby" Craig says happily, earning a giggle from Tweek.

"You're so -ah- high babe" he says.

"He's nice and calm" the nurse says "that's what we want."

TW for labour, c-section talk as well as nursing talk.

[countingonmama]

I made the mistake of going on r/DuggarSnark

TW Childbirth

I will allow absolutely zero shaming of any labouring person (Lauren) ever to come across my dash. It will be an instant unfollow if you reblog It, whether you wrote it or not. Go say that stuff on Reddit and they'll give you awards. The Duggars et al have shitty beliefs and are garbage people but I would rather hang out with them than anyone who shits on someone for being in pain.

Keep scrolling if you don't want to hear about my life and birth experience.

I am a fucking badass when it comes to pain management. I have multiple chronic health problems. I've broken four bones. I've had two major surgeries and more out-patient procedures than I'm going to take time to count. I'm good at pain.

Giving birth to Roo was the worst pain not only that I have experienced but also that I can imagine. At first, I was just mosying along through labour saying "Well, they call it labour because it really is hard work" and making jokes and texting my mom between contractions. I remember saying that I had it all under control.

I wasn't dilating so my midwife broke my water and then suddenly I was just screaming for two minutes solid of contractions, then vomiting so hard it came out my nose, another contraction, more vomiting, repeat. There was no conscious thought. There was no way to focus on my breaths or practice my affirmations or listen to my supports. Almost all of my pain was in my thighs and nothing the midwives did could help that in any way. I was sure I was dying.

After a while I got laughing gas and stopped vomiting. I don't remember that time much but my husband says that I was still screaming through every contraction, but in between I'd look up at him and slur "Are YOU doing okay?"

Long story short, after 14 hours of labour I got an epidural and having it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I said to the anesthesiologist "This is great! The pain is so manageable now!" He looked at me confused and said "You shouldn't be able to feel anything." They kept upping my dose until I promised them I couldn't feel the contractions at all, which took a while. I found out later that this was because they needed to know it was in properly in case I needed an emergency c-section. Also, apparently epidurals (in Canada, at least) are fentanyl which was crazy to find out after the fact.

Pushing took two hours because I very literally couldn't feel anything. They were worried I'd need an obstetrician to assist with forceps or vacuum, but Roo was born after 18 hours of labour. Hours after they took out the epidural they tried to walk me to the bathroom and my legs collapsed under me because I still couldn't feel them. It took three tries before I was able to get up.

In other words, childbirth can be absolutely horrific. I am so glad that no one was filming me, and I can't imagine having labour be twice or three times as long, especially without an epidural working. I don't care what anyone says. Lauren is a fucking warrior just like everyone else who has given birth, whether it was 'natural', with an epidural or a c-section.

[alyssabct]

Data Objects 3 (TW)

Wednesday 27th March

My idea for this data object was to create a bracelet that represented the statistics of the working conditions of workers in the Bangalore garment industry. I had the idea to make the bracelet multicoloured a section representing the percentage of women who had experienced physical and sexual assault in the workplace and that i would make multiple to represent different percentages of data. (however my prototype is missing the different colours mainly because I had no other material sources, but if i were to make the product I would use dye and a thinner material.) I was inspired to make a bracelet as they are often used to express a stance or orientation towards something, people often wear bracelets in support of a foundation, band or for an event being held. Additionally, bracelets are common in many countries to be sold at markets and on the street. Coming from Thailand, bracelets are easy to make and also have a cultural significance to the Akha people, so is true in many other countries. 

I had also been inspired by the following video, where SEQUENCE employs young men susceptible to the gang culture and violence that exists in El Salvador, to create bracelets that spread awareness and provide community for those men. 

The data set I was focusing on:

Working conditions in the Bangalore garment industry [1]

Several recent reports have documented working conditions in the Bangalore garment industry. All workers except tailors are classified as unskilled, and typically work for low wages just at or below the statutory minimum wage. These wages have risen only marginally over a period of several years, failing to keep pace with the high rates of inflation in the IT metropolis of Bangalore. A joint report by the Dutch Clean Clothes Campaign, the India Committee of the Netherlands and Cividep India found that one-third of workers interviewed in garment factories earned less than the legal mini- mum wage for unskilled workers, even if they held semi-skilled or skilled positions. [2] Labourers work overtime hours to support their families, sometimes without the legally required compensation, and occasionally under threat of termination. Harassment by supervisors and floor managers is common, not least because of the low scope for women to rise to positions of authority on the shop- floor. A recent report by the UK organisation Sisters for Change found that over 60% of the female garment workers interviewed had been intimidated or threatened with violence. One in fourteen women had experienced physical violence, while a startling one in seven had been forced to commit a sexual act or forced to have sexual intercourse at work. In most of the cases of harassment and violence against women, supervisors and floor-in-charge managers are the perpetrators. [3]

Figure 1. bracelet prototype

References:

[1] Miedema, C. (2018, May 17). Labour Without Liberty - Female Migrant Workers in Bangalore's Garment Industry (full report). Retrieved from https://cleanclothes.org/resources/publications/labour-without-liberty-2013-female-migrant-workers-in-bangalores-garment-industry-full-version-1/view

[2] Doing Dutch – A research into the state of pay for workers in garment factories in India working for Dutch fashion brands (India Committee of the Netherlands, Sep 2016); source: http://www.indi- anet.nl/pdf/DoingDutch.pdf

[3] Eliminating violence against women at work (Sisters for Change & Munnade, Jun 2016); source: http://sistersforchange.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/SFC_WomenatWork_FullReport_ 25June2016.pdf

[lou-bonfightme]

Analogy of the Sun [Interlude] || [Berlou]

In which Toulouse asks a favour of Berlioz...[takes place: November 30]

@ber-bonfamille-lyons

[tw -- mention of death, emergency medical procedures, child death]

TOULOUSE: When Toulouse got off the phone with Hades, he didn’t stop moving. If he did, the panic would come back. It was a silly thing to panic about, he tried to tell himself as he continued packing Opal’s things while she watched him from her crib, her lips tugged down in a frown. Even if--the worst happened, it wouldn’t be his tragedy, not the way it was with Duchess. It would be Hades tragedy and Opal’s tragedy, and Lou’s only role would be to make sure that everyone was alright. 

This, of course, ignored Lou’s own relationship with Belle--which was just as long and deep as his relationship with Hades. But, it was easier to lie to oneself in such an instance. 

So, he packed an overnight bag for Opal and as soon as he finished, he realized that he should--actually call his brother, instead of just showing up with Opal and transforming into a wolf and taking up his living room. The idea made him distinctly uncomfortable, considering he’d only been a wolf perhaps once or twice in front of his brother and he didn’t exactly relish the thought of Simba’s house with all its dogs and people coming in and out. However, he refused to go into the woods, especially with a hunter lurking and Opal all by herself otherwise. No matter what happened. 

As he moved towards Belle and Hades’ room, he dialed Berlioz’s number and lifted his phone up to his ear, waiting for him to pick up. 

BERLIOZ:  For Berlioz, it was just a Monday. 

Actually, he was still in bed.

It was a bit late to be in bed. But he had classes later and ever since he broke his fucking thumb, he hated working on even his demos of stuff. It was just a hassle and a headache and it was much easier to lay here and scroll mindlessly and drift off. Simba was bustling downstairs after going to his classes and would probably come up to bitch to Berlioz soon, but for now, he was enjoying his boredom. 

And then Lou called. 

Ber squinted at the call. There was always this split second when something like this happened: an out-of-body moment where Ber knew his day was about to veer off its tracks. Lou would text, unless it was an emergency. Lou would text, unless Marie was dead or injured, or Maman in the hospital, or maybe he was panicking again, in a manic episode.

During that split second, Berlioz always wanted to be asleep.

And then he plugged back into reality. He jerked up and clumsily hit the button, after first failing to do so with his busted hand. “Wat?” he said on the third ring. “What’s going on?” 

TOULOUSE: The response made Lou snort out once and then--feel a bit guilty. He stopped to take another breath as he shoved a few pairs of pants into the duffle bag he’d found. “Good morning,” he replied, trying to not be entirely alarmist because--

Everything was fine, this was going to be fine. The babies were going to be fine. Belle was going to be fine. Even if everything had gone to plan and was not necessarily an emergency, there was a good chance Lou and Opal would’ve spent some time at the Bonfamille-Lyons residence. It was just happening a bit more quickly than anyone anticipated. (Though, stupid. Stupid. Lou should have pressed more for them to have a back up plan. He’d thought about it. Mentioned it, briefly, to Hades, only to be shut down because it wasn’t what Belle wanted. (He should’ve said that those babies didn’t necessarily care what Belle wanted and the chances of her giving birth in the hospital, with a c-section, were astronomically high, no matter what.)) 

“Belle’s gone into labour,” he told his brother. “She and Hades are at the hospital now, she’s getting an emergency c-section as we speak.” He managed to say all of this rather calmly.  

BERLIOZ:  Good morning, said Lou, and instantly Ber relaxed.

There wasn’t a crisis-- well, not a Bonfamille-sized crisis. Ber did not know what Lou could be

calling about, but it wasn’t about Marie, Maman, Pere, or even little Claude. Well, actually, it could be about Claude all the way in France. Or about their grandparents. Ber’s brow creased at that thought and the worry came back. Maybe it wasn’t an immediate disaster, but still, bad news…

His instincts weren’t wrong, even if it wasn’t a Bonfamille or La Blanc crisis after all. It was an Acheron one. 

Berlioz blinked as the news settled. He didn’t know much about Belle’s pregnancy, but he remembered her saying that she was due New Year’s Eve, which was funny to her. He also knew that though Lou was trying to stay calm, there was a bit of breathlessness in his voice. He was-- rushing. He was worried. And if Lou was worried, it probably meant there was a very good reason. 

Ber’s heart dropped a third time, though nice and slow...drifting down, down, as the foreboding grew greater. He didn’t want to lose Belle of all people. 

“Oh,” uttered Ber. “Oh, I-- you’re going to the hospital?” he guessed. “Do you want to drop off Opal?” 

TOULOUSE: Toulouse grimaced slightly. He really wished he needn’t bother his brother with the worry. The wait would be the worst part of it, though c-sections were rather quick, as far as surgeries went. Half an hour to remove the babies, forty-five minutes to close. The risk of complication went down severely after the babies were delivered and the uterus was checked for bleeds. They just had to get through the next half hour. By the time Lou arrived at the hospital, the worst of it would be over. And yet, that time would feel like--decades. 

And now, Lou was dragging Ber into it. He hadn’t thought about it until he heard the drop in his brother’s voice. It was a selfish thing not to think about, but--Lou had forgotten entirely for a moment that Ber and Belle were even close. 

“Yes, I am going to the hospital. I’m taking Opal with me. So that she can visit once Belle is in recovery.” Because she will be in recovery. 

“However, she’ll be in the hospital for several days. We’ll need somewhere to stay tonight.” 

BERLIOZ: Believe it or not, Berlioz did keep up with the full moon. 

It was the least he could do, having a werewolf for a brother. At first it had been a little bit of an obsession. In the first months after Lou’s attack, as Lou isolated himself, then moved out to that god awful place in the farmlands, watching the moon was like… watching his brother from afar. He’d downloaded this app and he got updates about the moon phases and other various astronomical stuff he didn’t care about. He still had that app. He woke up to the notification this morning and he’d swiped it away, because now it was over a year later, and he knew exactly where to find Lou. He didn’t have to watch the moon. He didn’t have to worry. It was so normal, actually, that he forgot all about it, until right now. And then Lou’s comment was like the notification all over again. Full moon tonight. That’s right. 

He blinked. Simba wouldn’t have a problem with it, would he? No. But shouldn’t he still ask? 

“Oh, yeah, course,” said Berlioz, deciding that he did not. Simba would understand. Besides, it was Lou. Lou. If Ashlee was concerned, maybe she could go over to Ashle’s place. “Um, when would you be coming over? I just gotta talk to Simba and-- uh, see what Ashlee’s doing tonight,” he said. 

TOULOUSE: Right, Ashlee.

Lou had forgotten about the most recent stray that his brother’s husband had adopted. He had met her, of course. There had been a few dinners where she had been present but he hadn’t not paid much mind to her. And, in this moment, she was lowest on the list of important people to him. Her presence was nothing but a complication and for a moment, he resented her. If Simba had a problem with him coming over because of her--

Toulouse drew in a breath and moved to Belle’s nightstand, picking up her copy of Looking Backward, which she was clearly in the middle of. He grabbed the book from Hades’ nightstand too. 

“I don’t know,” Lou said as he added these items to the duffle at the end of the bed and then tossed their pillows next to it so he wouldn’t forget them. 

“The surgery should only take a few hours at most. And then, I assume Belle will be recovering for a bit before we can see her. It won’t be until late afternoon. I’d like to stay as long as we are able.” He paused as he reached up to grab Belle’s cardigan off the back of the door. 

“It’s the full moon tonight,” he mentioned, his voice coloured with uncharacteristic hesitation, unaware if his brother even knew. 

BERLIOZ:  From over the phone, Berlioz could hear movement-- Lou picking up something or setting something down. He could imagine his brother pacing through the Acheron house (that’s what he had to be, with Opal) and feeling out of control. Because it didn’t matter how calm Lou sounded. Berlioz knew his masks. He knew the voice he used when he needed to take care of things, because he used it all the time when he was trying to take care of Berlioz. 

But it didn’t quite fit, did it, when Lou was asking-- without asking-- for Ber to take care of him. 

“Yeah, I know,” said Berlioz. He hesitated-- wondering if mentioning his app would be reassuring or if Lou would just think it was weird of Berlioz to do that, if he’d misconstrue it and think Ber was… overly worried or… thought Lou couldn’t control himself. And so Ber didn’t mention it. “It’s no worry. Simba won’t mind, and you know-- I mean, we love Opal, he’ll be excited to see her. We just got to make sure Ashlee knows first, that’s all. But ah, yeah, that’s-- it’s fine. Come on over when you need, that’s plenty of time.” 

TOULOUSE: “Oh,” Lou murmured, mostly to himself. The surprise was clear in his voice. He assumed his family just liked to pretend he wasn’t a werewolf. Lou didn’t fault them for it. He, himself, liked to pretend he wasn’t a werewolf most of the time. There was a slim possibility that Berlioz somehow knew this some other way, but—

Toulouse knew his brother better than that. For a moment, he forgot his worry as his heart softened. Reaching up, he pulled Belle’s cardigan off the hook, clutching it in his hand for a moment. 

At least, this was not uncertain: that Opal would have somewhere to go and be safe tonight. For now, that was all that could matter. 

“Alright. I’ll—keep you informed of what is going on, oui? And when we are leaving the hospital.” 

BERLIOZ:  Ber supposed this meant he needed to be getting out of bed now. 

That was alright though. He was up now-- and there were things for him to do that he didn’t mind doing. Talking to Simba, getting Ashlee on the phone… he’d probably have to go up and prep a room for Opal. He wondered how he was supposed to prep a room for a werewolf. Maybe that wasn’t necessary. He wondered about his dogs too-- but if he needed to keep them separated, he’d just take them all up to the top floor. Maybe Ashlee, actually, would like to sleep with them all tonight. It might ease any worry she might have. 

Ber knew more thoughts and questions would occur to him the more time passed, but like Lou himself, at least it was better than thinking about Belle, possibly in danger at the hospital. 

Lou said she’d recover though, Ber reminded himself as he swung his legs out of bed. And because Lou was his big brother, Ber believed him. 

“Yeah, just text me, I’ll have my eye on my phone. Um-- tell-- tell Belle when you see her that I love her, eh? And we’re all thinking of her.” 

TOULOUSE: Lou wished he could ask his brother to stay on the phone, just a bit longer. Just until he was done packing, just until he was at the hospital, just until Belle was out of surgery and Hades came to fetch him. The bargaining got further and further, which is why Lou couldn’t ask at all. His brother had things to see to. Lou had things to see to. 

And Lou was already asking enough of Ber. 

So, he swallowed and gently folded Belle’s cardigan, holding to his chest for a moment before placing it in the bag and moving towards the bathroom. 

“Yes, of course,” Lou told him with a little absent-minded nod. “I will let her know. À bientôt.” 

And then, he was alone again. He took a breath and continued his march. There were more items to check off of the list.

[suburbiakrp-blog]

WELCOME TO JUKJEON, YEO GOEUN !

your place at dream house #302 is all ready for you, we hope you enjoy your stay. citizens, let’s welcome our new neighborhood student !

HOW HAS JUKJEON BEEN TREATING YOU THE PAST 10 MONTHS ?

goeun is glad to be living somewhere more crowded than her hometown, where she can be a bit anonymous if she wants to be. she’s tired of the typical small town everyone-know-everything-about-everyone attitude, and she’s too sick of crowds to put herself right in the middle of seoul, and jukjeon provides a pretty nice balance of both while she gets her studies done.

TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF !

TW: injury mention, drug use

september 10th, 1996 - 2:12 PM

south korea’s rising star swimmer, the twenty-one year old yeo joohee, announces her pregnancy. her career ends just after winning three medals at the atlanta olympics, and she retreats to her parents’ home on some island in jeolla. rumours swirl that the father is her new coach, kwak jongsoo, but no one is willing to confirm or deny it.

april 30th, 1997 - 4:36 AM

after a roller coaster twelve hours - including her mother going into labour five weeks early and an emergency c-section - yeo goeun is born. she screams loud enough for patients in the next hall over to hear, and the doctors and nurses all agree she’s surprisingly strong and healthy for a premature baby.

march 15th, 2002 - 7:47 AM

goeun’s uncle is a fisherman, and whenever her mom sleeps in he takes her out on his boat. she loves the waves and the smell of the salt in the air, but on one day it’s so rough and cold, and goeun is sitting on the edge, and a wave hits her hard enough she nearly tumbles into the sea. she cries for the rest of that trip, wrapped up in a blanket, and every trip after that she insists on sitting right in the middle of the boat. for the first time, water becomes scary.

february 23rd, 2004 - 4:08 PM

after practicing in the local pool for months, goeun is at her first swim meet. the butterflies in her stomach won’t stop churning, and every time she looks in the stands she sees her mom - usually nothing but that, but on this particular day she can’t shake the pressure that olympic medalist swimmer, yeo joohee is watching her. she finishes tenth, her mom gives her a big hug when they meet after the race, and promptly gives some pointers on how she should be breathing between strokes.

october 10th, 2006 - 3:31 AM

goeun wakes up to swim before and after school, and it takes over almost all of her free time. after going to gwangju for a province-wide meet and finishing second, she’s become a kind of local celebrity, enough that she gets out of homework every once in a while. as much as goeun loves swimming, she’s kind of not sure if she deserves all the praise and attention she’s getting

march 1st, 2011 - 6:21 PM

goeun has won her first national meet. after years of gruelling training and hard work, she stands on a podium in front of the entire country. goeun is finally fulfilled.

december 19th, 2014 - 11:45 PM

it’s stupid, really - goeun was running across the street to meet with some friends and ended up tripping and sliding across some ice, fracturing her kneecap. a thin fracture, but enough to keep her out of the pool for weeks, at a critical time in her career. but goeun doesn’t want to worry herself too much, especially not when her mom keeps hovering over her with a furrowed brow. one yeo has already killed her career - the next one definitely can’t.

july 6th, 2016 - 7:02 PM

goeun’s times leading up to the 2016 olympic trials seem to keep getting lower, and her knee doesn’t seem to ever get less stiff. her physical therapist advises her to wait for the next olympics, make sure she’s really healed, but the idea of waiting terrifies goeun - she can’t miss her chance to the games. so she makes a dumb mistake, something she knows not to do - she takes some pills her coach offers, and with some time and extra practise, her times race up again. goeun feels nauseous every time she enters the pool, guilty and terrified of being caught, but she makes it onto the south korean team and that means it must be worth it.

august 25th, 2016 - 1:10 PM

with witness testimonies given, drug test results revealed, her bronze medal stripped away, and hot tears streaming down her cheeks, goeun holds a press conference. yes, she took performance-enhancing drugs. yes, she feels ashamed, and she apologizes to all of her fans and all of south korea for being dishonest. the media goes in a frenzy, and digs up her mother’s past - seems like yeo women are jinxed to end their careers after one successful run at the olympics. goeun decides not to swim again.

january 22nd, 2017 - 12:31 PM

goeun arrives in jukjeon a few weeks ahead of the new school year, ready to leave her past behind and to start fresh, miles away from her childhood home. people seem to have mostly forgotten about the olympics, and that’s totally okay with her. goeun hasn’t been in the water since the summer, nor does she intend to be anytime soon - this is a new goeun, an honest goeun, who will not be coerced into doing anything she doesn’t want to do.

[lou-bonfightme]

Analogy of the Sun [Interlude] || [LOUD]

In which Toulouse receives a call from Hades...[takes place: November 30]

@trip-downtheriverstyx

[tw -- mention of death, emergency medical procedures, child death]

HADES:  As the nurses closed in around Belle, Hades’ hand went to his phone without even thinking.

His first thought was of Lou. 

He’d texted Lou earlier that Belle’s water broke and they were headed to the hospital and so they needed him to watch Opal. Earlier was probably only...fifteen, twenty minutes, even if the ambulance ride somehow felt much longer than that by now, as did the rest of his day. Time wasn’t moving in any interval of which Hades could make sense. There were simply two parts of his day: his morning, before Belle went into labour, and his right-now. Anything in between those two moments kept getting sucked up into a kind of panicked vortex. 

But he desperately wanted it to stop. He wanted to slow down, take a breath, pull himself out of this-- and talk to Lou. 

He moved several steps away from Belle, distancing himself from the noise. When he checked his phone, Lou had already texted him back several times. He had a missed call. Hades’ winced, knowing how terrifying and weighty silence could be. He hit the speed dial and pressed his phone to his ear. 

Lou picked up the phone at once.

“We’re--” Alright? Okay? Fine? These answers felt like wishful thinking. “--at the hospital. Belle’s stable.  I’m, I’m sorry that I didn’t--it’s just all happening very fast.” Hades rubbed at his forehead. 

TOULOUSE: When Lou had received the first text, he’d been in the middle of feeding Opal a mid-morning snack. The day had been moving sluggishly, as all days did. Watching Opal always broke up the tedium of them best. 

A text from Hades was not cause for alarm, but before he even swiped open the notification, he felt some sense of foreboding that couldn’t be explained.

Belle’s waters broke. Heading to hospital. Can you watch Opal until later?

Lou’s hand clutched around his phone. It felt as if someone had pierced him through the heart. Belle wasn’t due for another month. The rational side of Lou’s brain tried to, calmly, explain that twins were often born early and that they had been biding their time anyway. But, the irrational part of Lou’s brain, the one that kept whispering “Tantine, Tantine, Tantine” could only think about statistics and how Belle’s pregnancy was high-risk and if they were going to the hospital that meant that they would be performing an emergency c-section and--

Opal threw a grape at him. Lou sucked in a breath and sent a single “yes” back. 

He tried his best to distract himself after that, but his thoughts kept dragging him back. Lou wiped at Opal’s face, looking into her eyes--which were dark, like Belle’s eyes--and thinking: what if she doesn’t come home? What if the babies don’t make it? Opal was more or less oblivious to Lou’s distraction. Less, because she was using it to her advantage, clambering out of her high chair and taking off across the kitchen floor. 

By the time Lou had finished cleaning up her mess and found her playing with a few toys on the living room carpet, his phone rang. 

“He--” 

Belle’s stable. Hades’ voice sounded hollow, shell-shocked. Lou didn’t like it. He wasn’t used to Hades being the one who sounded like he needed an anchor. Lou sucked in a breath.

“Good. It’s fine. I’ve got Opal,” he reassured, though his own voice felt very far away. “What are they saying? What’s happening?” he couldn’t help but ask, though he probably shouldn’t.  

HADES:  Hades let his eyes close. 

For a moment, he clung to just those three words: I’ve got Opal. It let Hades travel across town back to his home and imagine a place that wasn’t filled with machines and yelling and the smell of strange chemicals. Opal would be eating, wouldn’t she? Or was she already down for her nap? These days, she always fought against naptime, much too spirited to be told what to do without at least a little fight. 

He imagined Lou coaxing her anyway, with promises of a story that would end happily ever after. 

This was all the comfort that he allowed himself. Soon, Lou asked for an update and Hades opened his eyes, settling back into his present reality. But maybe telling Lou would make Hades feel more in control of everything going on here. Maybe Lou would tell him that it was going to be alright. He knew a little bit more about this kind of thing, after all. 

“She-- we’re going to do an emergency c-section. They’ve got her blood pressure back down so now they’re prepping her. They say it’s for the best. Since-- since her waters broke. Otherwise it’s much too risky if she tries for a normal delivery, there are all...all sorts of complications that could go wrong and they say we haven’t the time….” he drifted off.

 The words didn’t feel like his own because they weren’t his own; they were the doctors’; Hades was simply regurgitating. 

“Is...is that all true, do you think? We’re not making the wrong choice?” 

TOULOUSE: After his tantine had died, Lou had done a tone of reading. Anything that he could get his hands on about what had happened: blogs of personal experiences, medical journals, and he’d even sat Minnie down one evening and interrogated her. He had sworn that he would learn everything about it, so that next time--if there was ever a next time (Belle; Marie (it was hereditary, after all); or any other woman in his life), he would know what to do. 

However, all that reading didn’t prepare him for the panic that wiped his mind entirely clean of any fact, any figure, that he had memorized. All of that information was useless to him now, because he was not a doctor and Belle was far away, sick and terrified and he was just as helpless as he had been when Marie had called him, sobbing into the phone line that their tantine’s water had broken and now she was dead.

It hadn’t made any sense then and it didn’t make any sense now. 

Belle’s not dead, the rational part of his mind reminded him.

Yet, hissed the rest.

Lou took in another shaky breath. Hades’ words were jumbled and panicked, but combing through them to find the kernels of facts helped order Lou’s own mind. It helped, too, that Opal was watching him now, in that alert, curious way that told him she didn’t know what was happening, but that something was.

“Yes, it’s the right decision,” Lou finally said, and he did believe this. Otherwise, he would not have said it. “Her body is far too weak to deliver the babies on her own. She could begin to seize and if that happens--” he cut himself off. Right, right. Probably not helping.

“A c-section is the only logical choice. The procedure itself is low-risk and efficient. They’ll be able to get the babies out quickly, check for bleeding or other complications, and monitor Belle the entire time.” 

HADES:  Lou was not a doctor. Lou was not a doctor, and though he had experience with pregnancy and birth complications because of his tantine, he did not know more than Robbins or even that dick, Karev. And yet-- Hades didn’t think he believed that he’d made the right choice until Lou said he had. The choice itself had not felt like a choice at all anyway. And it hadn’t felt like his to make. He was still worried that Belle would wake up and she’d resent him for it. That wasn’t fair. It made little sense. Belle would do what she had to do for the babies, even if she did not want to do it--

But still, in the end, it was Hades who was nodding yes, Hades who would sign papers, Hades who would make any decisions if things went the wrong way. 

He didn’t want to have that power. Once, he’d been somebody who relished the idea of complete and total control. But when it came to Belle’s life-- Belle’s life did not belong to him. And he could not make these choices alone.

Thankfully, he wasn’t.

He let out a breath and nodded for a few seconds before he remembered that he needed to speak. “Right-- yes. Right,” he repeated. “It-- I’m going to go in with her. But you…” 

He paused again, his courage like a flickering flame-- here and then gone and then here again. He glanced toward Belle’s hospital bed. It only made sense to Hades that Lou should be here. Certainly Belle would not feel differently, would she? 

“I’d...like you to be here, if that’s not too much to ask,” he said. “Opal too, of course.” 

TOULOUSE: As Lou had spoken, he’d managed to kick himself into gear. There were several facts that he knew and needed to acknowledge, organize, and then begin to execute: Belle was having her babies today, those babies were early and would be in the hospital for a week, at minimum; Belle herself was having a c-section and there was a significant hospital recovery time for such a procedure; he was in charge of Opal, most likely for the next several days; and, finally, tonight was a full moon. He reached down and scooped Opal up, pressing his phone against his ear as he listened to Hades’ breathing and tried to ignore the cacophony of sounds happening behind him. 

“Dada?” Opal asked, pointing across Lou’s face as he climbed the stairs. 

“Oui, oui,” Lou replied softly as he waited for Hades to gather himself. He set Opal in her crib and began grabbing at things that she might need. 

The phone crackled as Hades sucked in another breath and then he spoke. 

Lou paused for a moment, but then snorted, looking at Opal’s pajamas in his hand. 

“I’ve already begun packing,” Lou told him. “I will bring her to my brother’s tonight and we’ll stay there, so you needn’t worry. I am going to pack a bag for you and Belle as well. Is there anything you think you may want? Or need?”

HADES:  A bag. Right-- shit. He’d completely forgotten about the bag. They had not intended to need a bag though. They were going to do another home birth, hopefully when Belle was ready. At home, she would have had everything that she needed. There wouldn’t be any need for an entire kit of stuff, just some clothes for when they took the baby to the hospital for what would hopefully be a short and sweet stay. There’d be no rush to get Belle’s things together. They’d have time. Belle could put it together herself.

Now, dictating what Belle needed over the phone to Lou was yet another obstacle that Hades was not qualified for. 

He grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. “I-- she’ll need clothes, toiletries, ah, all--all those essentials, right? Grab the cardigan that she hangs on the door of her bedroom. It’s one of her favourites. And her slippers, please. Um, warm socks. Maybe-- oh, books. Of course. She’ll be here a while, she’ll need something to read-- it could make her feel better too, having books...just a handful of them really…” 

Was that all? He scoured his brain. He had no idea.

“Am I forgetting anything?” he blurted, like Lou would know better. 

TOULOUSE:  The only thing that Lou was not already planning to grab was the cardigan, but he knew immediately which one Hades was talking about. So, he made a mental note to make sure that he grabbed it. Making lists like this helped. Grabbing things for Belle helped. It tricked his brain into thinking that she would be there to use them on the other side of this, instead of what it wanted to think, which was that packing a bag for her was pointless because…

Her golden cardigan and books. It was almost like packing Belle up in a bag herself and something about that comforted him deeply. 

When Hades spoke, Lou smiled gently to himself. He still felt like there was a part of his brain that was spinning out of control, but Lou was used to that feeling. 

“What about you? What do you need?” Lou prompted him gently. He knew that Hades would be reluctant to leave the hospital--to leave Belle alone--for the first day or so, at the very least. 

HADES:  The question confused Hades at first. Nothing was the answer. Nothing, because the real answer were things he could not ask for, things that he could not put in a bag. 

Like Belle’s safety. Her health. Like to start this day all over again-- if he could do that, knowing what he did now, could he have changed the course of today? If he told Belle to sleep in, if she had rested instead of gone to the store… if he’d taken longer in the morning and delayed the both of them…

This kind of bargaining was highly unproductive. He shut it down. 

Of course, there was another answer that he could not say and it was simply, you. 

Lou was coming. Hades did not need to articulate it; he liked to believe Lou knew. 

“I’m not sure,” he answered honestly. “I suppose-- clothes as well. My sudoku. That’s really all.” Hades had never needed much. 

TOULOUSE:  “Alright,” Lou said. 

Nothing about what Hades said surprised him, but Lou knew that he might like a book or two for himself, as well. And Lou would pack his slippers, just in case and perhaps a pillow from the bed for them both. Hades was always complaining about not sleeping well anyway. Lou couldn’t imagine he’d be getting much sleep over the next few days. 

Opal’s bag was half-packed now and the phone cracked with static and the sounds of the hospital. Lou couldn’t imagine Hades had much more time to be on the phone, but Lou was reluctant to hang up. It was his tether. Sometimes, he wondered, if Marie had called him earlier. If he had managed to get Tantine to the hospital sooner...if things would’ve been different for her. Being on the phone helped Lou feel in control, like he could do something--help, in some way, if things went wrong. He didn’t want to leave Hades alone to shoulder the burden. 

“Opal and I will be there soon,” he promised and decided that this would have to be enough. It was already so different than the last time, when Lou had refused to even come to the hospital--too terrified of himself to even consider it. The full moon had been days away that time, though it was his first. This would be his twenty-second. Even though his hands trembled as he continued to put things methodically in a bag, he could handle it. He had to--for Belle and Hades and, perhaps most importantly, for Opal. 

“Everything is going to be alright, Hades.” Lou paused, hesitating for just a moment. “I love you, give Belle my love too.” 

HADES:  Hades also knew his time on the phone was coming to an end. He didn’t want it to. He wished he could carry Lou around with him to guide him through the next steps, even if it just meant reassuring Hades. Of course, what would be better is Lou here in person, beside him. But neither of those things could happen. Lou would not be here for a half an hour yet-- maybe more. He would not be allowed in the operating theatre. He would remain with Opal outside. Hades, meanwhile, was minutes away from surgery. He would not have anyone to lean on; he would be the one to hold Belle’s hand and tell her it was alright.

The next minutes he needed to spend preparing for that. If he were honest, he knew that he would only be strong and certain if he were alone. That was how Hades knew how to be strong best. 

He was preparing to say goodbye and hang up swiftly, to ease his own uncertainty and dive back into the hectic rush of the hospital. But just as his lips parted, Lou told him he loved him. 

It was very small, those words. He had heard them before. It was not something that Hades didn’t already know. But for a moment it was like Lou was here anyway, his hand gentle on Hades’ shoulder. It was like he had said something else entirely-- I’ll never leave you. 

“Of course. I love you too,” he said just as quickly and inconsequently. “I’ll see you soon.” 

And then he ended the phone call and looked over, catching a nurse’s eye.