#two fucked up rich people talk about preserving corpses

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 43

LOTS OF PLOT we're jumping on two years, it's 1969, and we're back with Smith, Amy, Rory and River for the Impossible Astronaut. Also Sterling from Leverage, that's fun.

Nothing else about this episode is fun.

I'm going to limit too much of this rant, but fucking hell. There are two (2) things on a loop in my head as I watch this episode, to whit:

The very first episode we watched was Fires of Pompeii. Donna wants to evacuate the city, the Doctor says they can't and tells her to listen. "I don't know what sort of kids you've been travelling with," Donna snarls. "But you're not telling me to shut up."

Just before the casting of Peter Capaldi was announced, Doctor Who was at its height in the UK cultural zeitgeist. For the first time, the public were talking very seriously about how much they wanted the Doctor to finally be a woman. And a female journalist at the time wrote a think piece about how she wanted it to still be a man, because she wanted her daughters to have a role model of how men are supposed to be, and behave.

Let's find out why those are haunting me!

So we start with the Doctor being shot in the head by an astronaut in America, and literally dying, but then it turns out he sent invites to Amy, Rory, River, a random American man, and his younger self, hinting them back to 1969. Before they leave, they need to burn his corpse.

"What do we do?" intones Karen Gillan so unconvincingly you'd think she was a "grieving" rich widower standing over the body of her fifth elderly husband.

"What the Doctor's friends always do," Alex Kingston says with genuine gravitas, because she's great. "What we're told."

...

...

...

ah I see why I'm thinking of Donna

Anyway, off they go. The Doctor spends his time being the epitome of toxic masculinity. At one point he literally yells the sentence "I'm being clever and there's no one to pay attention! What's the point of you!" I expect this was supposed to be humorous, but this was merely the latest whiny pathetic Elon Musk-esque mantrum, so it did not hit right. At another point he starts showing off how to fly the TARDIS, and River steps up and secretly corrects him behind his back. When he asks her if she touched anything, she lies, to preserve his manly ego (I am expected to find this #Feminist I think.) At several points he then insults these people we have just supposedly seen devastated and grieving over his loss; "Don't play games with me, don't EVER, ever think you're capable of it," he stamps and sulks (and he is genuinely sulking as he does.) He mocks Amy's weight, Rory's nose, and River's age. It honestly genuinely leaves you wondering why a single one of them gives a shit about his death. Oh, and here's one for the list, in a bit - River gives Rory an impassioned monologue about how her relationship with the Doctor works. They're both time travellers, so they're moving in opposite directions. This means that

a) One day, she will meet him and he won't remember her. "On that day, it will kill me," she says. This seems portentous.

b) When she first met him she was a young impressionable girl and he was this amazing man who knew everything about her. "Can you imagine what that does to a girl?" she says, describing herself as having been fucking groomed.

I see why I'm remembering a woman claiming this was a role model.

ANYWAY this is also the first of a two-parter. We go back to 1969, and learn there's a little girl phoning Richard Nixon every night asking for help; he's called in Sterling, who here is an ex-FBI agent who left because he wanted an illegal marriage (so either inter-racial, gay, or both, I'm assuming.) The gang go and find said girl in an abandoned warehouse full of Doug Jones, dressed as a creepy alien with penis fingers like King Prince Charles that everyone forgets whenever they look away (the whole alien, not the penis fingers.) She's also dressed as an astronaut, and has possibly been experimented on. Also Amy monopolises the Doctor's time across two separate scenes while he's trying to save a child by VERY VERY SLOWLY and with a billion repeated filler lines telling him she's pregnant, so... does that date us on Amy's timeline? I mean we know that's River now.

I mean we also know River is the one who supposedly kills the Doctor, so that'll be the astronaut. And the girl? Probably, though I don't remember the previous versions being American. Or wait! I do! Mels said she regenerated as a child in New York, so yeah, we know that. Honestly, very strange they're presenting all this as a surprise when we already know. Almost as though this is a deeply stupid order to watch the show in that ruins plot twists.

Well. Anyway. Then Amy shoots a literal child who is pleading for help. Believe it or not, that's actually the height of usefulness for her in this episode. Sexy Lamp test profoundly failed by Amy and Rory.

OKAY SO PLOT POINTS!!!! Let's see, let's see...

I mean hilariously the mysteries of this episode are almost entirely already known. River kills him. River is Amy's unborn child. River is the astronaut. The Doctor is the reason she's in prison, because she kills him. Is this why Amy and Rory thought he was dead? Maybe. Also, we know it's the Silents who brainwash Melody, so... presumably this is to do with them.

BUT, who are the penis fingered aliens? Haven't met them yet. We have our second reference to fish fingers and custard, which apparently massively matter to Amy. Um... Oh, yeah, River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her. Tbh babe you can do better. Hope you don't mean that.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NEW INFO: NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She's deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard? NEW INFO: same question but I'm repeating it

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?

How does the Doctor survive River. NEW INFO: he doesn't, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? NEW INFO: is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

Who are the penis fingered aliens?

River says she'll die one day when the Doctor doesn't remember her, let's hope she doesn't mean it

[motherbeasted]

@lysxandre​

“I’m glad we can agree on something. Although, you may want to find a way to preserve those you find beautiful after death.”

[spockandawe]

I'll be boring and ask about xuexiao? I just can't decide if it's more fun for them to be happy or tragically canon

Xuexiao!!!!!!!!

Downsides: 

The biggest downside is that xue yang Fucked Up in a nearly-irrecoverable fashion before things could even get going, but him taking out Song Lan’s eyes was the only reason they were able to get to know each other later to begin with, and you know what, I haven’t talked about this ship in a while, and I forgot how much it hurts ;u;

Upsides: 

Literally everything. Even the massive Fucking Up. God, I just tabbed away from this and stared at my dashboard for like five minutes just thinking about everything I love about them, let me try to think about where to even begin, without just repeating my whole xuexiao tag, haha

Xiao Xingchen is horribly lonely, and deeply, quietly miserable. I want him to have a friend who is completely irreverent, teases him instead of babies him over being blind, can talk forever, and can make anything into a joke. I want him to have a friend who treats him like just another guy instead of an untouchable immortal or an object of pity. And instead of an easy mark! It’s a friendship where xue yang will casually con him into going to do chores because xiao xingchen can’t see him cheating, but where he’ll also explain the joke and tease him for being so easy to fool, and where he’ll also go out and menace the merchants who take advantage of his blindness to give him shitty goods.

(on the one hand, I live for how outraged and upset song lan is when he sees xue yang teasing xiao xingchen over being blind, but also... even though xiao xingchen is a sweetheart, I feel like one of the good ways to genuinely upset him is by treating him like he’s fragile or helpless. xue yang is maybe incredibly shameless for teasing him about it when it’s semi-partially his fault, but it also gives me feelings when I wonder about how many people over the years have been able to just treat xiao xingchen like a person)

And Xue Yang... I do also have a lot of feelings over what a novel and interesting experience it is for him to be liked. Or trusted. And on the one hand, I am positive he thinks Xiao Xingchen is impossibly stupid for trusting him in the first place, and I feel like the whole “fierce corpse” fiasco is at least partially a joke on this subject. But the fierce corpse thing stops, at some point, and Xue Yang stays. He’s a skilled cultivator, even if he has to conceal his identity, and other rogue cultivators have seemed to to pretty well for themselves in the world. But he stays here in this broken-down coffin home with this new family, and I feel completely confident in saying that he liked living there. He tried to hide the Song Lan thing so that he could keep peacefully living there. This was, very possibly, the first home he ever had where he was wanted.

Of course, there’s all that fucking up that xue yang does before he realizes that this is something he wants to preserve and keep and nurture. Which... this is a tragedy that I find very tasty, and the fucking up is an important part of that. But also, I do desperately want to see them actually work things out and struggle forward through the mess (with or without song lan, though a dead song lan really, really makes an already fraught situation extra, extra complicated)

On the tragedy front, my latest thing that hurts me so very deeply is how Xiao Xingchen’s goals and ambitions gradually... shrink over time, until all he wants is to live in this coffin home with his little family, and how Xue Yang ends revealing to him that with even these small goals and small ambitions, that for every important person in Xiao Xingchen’s life, he was either wrong about them (Song Lan) or believed them when they lied to his face (A-Qing and Xue Yang). In a situation where Xiao Xingchen doesn’t die right there, there’s so much potential in these people finding a way to express to Xiao Xingchen how much he’s loved and wanted, and for them to try not to panic in front of him, or overburden him with their needs when he seems so brittle and fragile. But we don’t get that! We get death, and this little family (+song lan) that cared about each other is absolutely shattered, and almost everyone is dead, and the only person who isn’t dead is absolutely miserable.

And it’s both so tasty and so painful just how much Xue Yang regrets things. I’ve talked at length about what he’s trying to communicate as things fall apart, and why he starts reacting badly and lashing out and trying to hurt Xiao Xingchen (*hurt Xiao Xingchen back). There were a lot of ways for things to end....  unhealthily and unhappily, but in an unhealthy and/or unhappy situation, there are ways to fix it, even if it takes time, even if it’s never the same as it was before. Instead, Xiao Xingchen ends up dead, he ends up too shattered to reanimate, and Xue Yang is forced to admit that this is a situation that can’t be fixed-- Not that he ever properly admits that, not that he ever completely surrenders, right up until the day he dies. But it breaks my heart to see him cleaning off Xiao Xingchen’s body and setting out two places for dinner, and seeing him realizing, even if he pulls himself back together and goes back to fighting despite the odds.

I honestly don’t know if I prefer the tragedy or a happy ending, because they’re both so rich in emotions that it’s almost impossible for me to choose one over the other. I do like happy endings much better than sad ones, but the book was never going to put the time into their relationship to take them past the damage that the “fierce corpse” thing did. And the tragedy that we get makes daydreaming about possible happy endings more... intense and tasty. They give me the sharpest, sharpest yearnings for them to experience Happiness, but Xiao Xingchen dies grieving and despairing, and Xue Yang stubbornly holds on, trying to find some way to get him back, until he dies too, holding onto an old piece of candy and the memory of being cared for.

They hurt me a lot, in ways that are good, but also intensely painful! There’s something about a relationship where two characters should be enemies and are enemies, but once that framing is taken away from them, they realize just how intensely they like each other. Of course, in this case, it’s setting Xiao Xingchen up for a miserable time later, and Xue Yang for a miserable time of his own after that, but it’s so deliciously bittersweet to see how happy they made each other, and how happy they could have continued making each other, if things were a little different. And, obviously, it gives me intense cravings where they somehow are given the opportunity to work through all the damage that was done, until they gradually manage to rediscover what it was about the other person that made them so happy to begin with.

[hopeaterart]

I’m gonna be there: Chapter 9

Just... a lil’ bit of fluff that’ll lead into the next fight...

“Mom, will you calm down-”

“Nonsense! Both Joey and Polnareff brought things with them, but poor Kakyoin-kun just has his scarf and the clothes on his back!” The blonde woman protested, turning toward her son as Kakyoin looked over the price tag of a pair of pants. She quickly turned back toward the redhead. “Don’t worry about the price! We have more than enough money for you!”

Kakyoin turned toward the woman, shaking his head. “Really, I don’t want to make you waste your money.”

“And I’m telling you not to worry about it! We’re rich!” She told him. “Between my family’s fortune and Sadao basically being a celebrity, I could pretty much buy everything in the store if I wanted to!”

“Please don’t buy everything in the store.” Jotaro told his mother, who giggled as the two followed the redhead. Meanwhile, Kakyoin was slowly going through the store, picking pretty much anything that caught his eyes, his mouth slowly curling up in a giddy smile.

“Seiko-san?” He asked as he came back, a pile of pants and shirts in his arms. Holly hummed as she turned toward him, the boy dumping the pile in the cart. “Can we go buy art supplies after?” He asked.

Holly beamed. “Of course you can go buy art supplies after! Tell you what,” she started, reaching into her purse and pulling out a card. “I have a lot of commissions to do, so you and Jotaro go and buy yourselves something, and we reunite at the car. I’ll send a text-”

“What? Who’s gonna carry all the bags?” Jotaro asked, confused as, when he and his mother usually went shopping, he was the one who carried the bags. Holly “aaaw’-ed at him.

“My little baby is worried about me!” She coo-ed, flinging her arms around him as he half-grunted, half-shrieked at the sudden contact.

“Fuck off!” He yelled as he pried her off of him. 

Holly simply smiled. “Okay!~” She then got her wallet out, picking out a card and handing it to Jotaro. “Here’s my credit card. Try not to go over 30 000, okay sweetie?”

Jotaro didn’t say anything. He simply nodded and took the card, muttering a “yare yare daze” under his breath before walking away, taking a hold of Kakyoin wrist as he did so.

The redhead waved goodbye at Holly, before turning toward Jotaro as they reached the exit of the store. “Do you have to be so rude to your mother? She’s so nice!”

Jotaro turned toward Kakyoin, frowning. “It’s none of your business.” He snapped, momentarily shocking the redhead.

Said redhead then huffed, jerking his wrist out of Jotaro’s grip. “Sorry my questions are bothering you now.” He hissed lowly, refusing the meet the taller teen’s gaze when he stopped and turned toward him.

Jotaro blinked in confusion. “What the... what are you talking about?”

“Back when we met Polnareff. You didn’t have a problem with my questions, then.” Kakyoin added, still stubbornly refusing to look at Jotaro, confusing him further.

He thought for a moment, before remembering Kakyoin’s meeting with the gang, and how the topic of Noguchi came up. “That’s different.”

The shorter teen finally looked at him, eyes cold. “How?”

“Wasn’t embarassing.”

“... Oh, I give up.” Kakyoin slumped in defeat, letting Jotaro grab his hand again to drag him to the mall’s map. “Whatever’s going inside your head, I don’t get it.”

“That’s a good thing.” Jotaro told the redhead. “I don’t want people to know what I think. Or else, they’ll use it against me.”

Kakyoin’s brows relaxed from their frown in understanding, before his eyes lowered to the ground sadly. “Oh. Yeah, I get that.”

Jotaro sent a worried look at the other teen, before turning his eyes back in front of him, the two walking in silence for a while. As they reached the map, he turned toward Kakyoin. “What store you wanna go to?” The redhead looked at the map, before pointing an arts and crafts store to his companion, who nodded and started walking him through the mall.

Soon, they were in the arts and crafts store, Kakyoin mindlessly chatting about different types of paint and the better type of medium for it. Jotaro simply listened, a bubbly feeling in his chest at seeing the other teen so happy. Suddenly, the redhead stopped, a short, nervous laugh leaving him. “Sorry for talking so much.”

Jotaro tilted his head to the side. “It’s fine. Your voice is nice to listen to.”

Kakyoin blinked in confusion. “Wait. You’re not annoyed? But your face...”

“It’s fine, I’m not annoyed.” Jotaro reassured the redhead, who hesitantly nodded. “You wanna talk about anything else?”

Kakyoin brightened. “Oh! Well, did you know that some types of plant humans consume for food initially developed those things as poison to prevent being eaten? Off the top of my head, I can name caffeine, capsaicin and tobacco. Also, while tobacco is addictive, what cigarette smokers really get addicted to is nicotine, which is also used in pesticides. And while a lot of people smoke due to feelings of stress, it doesn’t actually help. Nicotine just releases dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical.”

“Wow. This is the closest anyone actually got me to stop smoking.” Jotaro commented, Kakyoin snorting.

“Good! Cigarettes are gross and can kill you. Speaking of dead and gross things, did you know that a common ingredient used in toothpaste is used to preserve corpses? I’m pretty sure it’s the fluoride.”

“Uh. Is that why eating after brushing your teeth is gross?”

“Oh no, that’s because of the mint... which is one of the poison plants developed to prevent being eaten! Ah-ah! Back on topic!” Kakyoin exclaimed, Jotaro letting a small smile appear on his face at his friend’s (is he a friend?) enthusiasm. “And now, I really feel like I could go for mint ice cream. Is there an ice cream store in there?”

“I mean, this is an art supplies shop, but there should be something with ice cream in the mall.” Jotaro answered, Kakyoin giggling slightly his answer.

They soon exited the store, Kakyoin carrying a bag of art supplies as they made their way to a coffee shop that also served sweets and ice cream on the second floor, the redhead switching the topic to sweets. Jotaro simply nodded from time to time, letting the redhead’s voice fill the space between them.

The conversation halted as they arrived, Kakyoin ordering a two scoop ice cream cone of one mint, one chocolate, and Jotaro a caramel-vanilla iced coffee. The two sat down, both enjoying their respective treat, before Jotaro spoke up. “It’s because I’m mixed race.”

“... what?”

“I don’t want my mom to be affectionate in public because I’m mixed race.” Jotaro explained, and Kakyoin frowned in confusion.

“I... don’t get it.”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either, it’s just-” he gestured with his hands for a moment, his fingers twitching in anger. “- everyone’s got a thing about my mom being white, they either hate me for it or they keep following me around because I look ‘exotic’, whatever that’s supposed to mean.” Jotaro growled it, on of his hands slamming on the table in a fist while the other came up to lower his hat. “It’s not that I don’t like my mom. It’s just that I spent the last few years cultivating a reputation so people would leave me alone.”

“Jotaro-kun...”

“If anyone saw me being affectionate to her, they’d believe I’m all bark and no bite... I can’t afford to lose it.” He finished, eyes rived on his drink. He looked up as he felt Kakyoin’s hand come to rest on his fist, the other’s teens eyes full of worry and... understanding?

“I get what you’re talking about. The amount of shit I had to deal with when I was younger...” He muttered, before shaking his head. “My point is, you don’t have to worry about that around me, okay? I get it.” Kakyoin repeated for emphasis, smiling at Jotaro. The taller teen smiled back at him.

“Well, what are you two doing here?” The two teenagers turned toward Holly, startled at her sudden presence. “I’ve been waiting for you in the parking!”

Jotaro frowned. Something about his mother seemed... off. “You... told us to go buy art supplies without you.”

“Don’t be silly, as if I could leave my baby boy alone for a second.” She said as she smiled, pinching one of Jotaro’s cheek. She immediately let go as a low growl left Jotaro’s throat, a look of mild terror on her face.

“Sorry for making you wait, Seiko-san.” Kakyoin said, getting up and taking his bag of art supplies. “Shall we go?”

“Of course!” Holly declared, clapping her hands together before turning toward Jotaro. “Such a sweet boy! You could really bear to learn a thing or two from him.” She commented. The taller teenager just kept his eyes trained on her back, fiddling with his iced coffee’s straw.

Kakyoin was stopped in his tracks as Jotaro got up, grabbing his wrist. He turned toward him to ask him what that was for, before seeing that his expression was angrier than usual. “What’s wrong?” Came out instead.

“Don’t freak out,” Jotaro started, “but that’s not my mom.”

[jupitermelichios]

Smallville Recaps S2E19: Precipice

Lana Lang has actual plot agency and human-like emotional reactions in this one, and honestly i’m not sure how I feel about that.

But on the plus side, Lex Luthor continues to be the best boyfriend and wingman, sometimes simultaneously. He’s a little confused but by god has he got the spirit.

I think anger-management cupboard-sex doctor is hitting on Lana, and honestly despite Lana being as dry as a cream cracker in the desert and doctor being a manipulative bitch who doesn’t respect boundaries, I’d be 100% more invested in that than I am in any other romantic relationship in this show.

Holy shit, Lana just got thrown into a wall and didn’t immediately pass the fuck out! Did she get medication for her plot related fainting sickness?!

Hey, remember how Lex has a secret brother who he’s working with to bring down Lionel? No? Nor do the writers!

Oh no… Clark’s been arrested by the discountiest of discount Frances McDermonts. How could he possibly escape this, it’s not like he has superpowers. Or eye witnesses who will confirm that he was acting to defend Lana…

So Clark’s apparently a person of interest because he’s been at a lot of crime scenes. In Smallville. You can’t go two paces without tripping over a crime scene! He attends the high school where someone gets murdered every week!

Man, Tiny Gay Lex Luthor is so dedicated to being a good wing-man he’s now wing-manning his own girlfriend. Which would fine if they weren’t monogamous.

“I didn’t need your help I could have saved myself.” Fucking how?! You were once knocked out by tripping over your own feet! I wish I was joking but that happened in episode three and if anything, you’ve only got more pathetic since then!

I love that Lex is offering helpful advice on what it’s like to have to spent time somewhere where you were attacked, and his go too example is being bullied at school and not, say, the three or four home invasions he’s suffered in the last year!

“I might start thinking you’re stalking my girlfriend.” “Why would I want to do that?!” That’s not the compelling defence you think it is! ‘I’m totally a stalker but she’s not that hot’ doesn’t make you look like the good guy here!!!

So everyone’s apparently on board with the idea that Lex beat up his girlfriend’s stalker, despite the fact that Lex has never punched anyone in his life and has a track record of destroying the lives of people who doesn’t like with lawyers, but sure. Physical assault.

Holy shit, a female character acting with basic self-preservation instincts, what is this, a real TV show?!

So I know that Lex and Lana have a thing later on, and I’ve never understood it, but Lex is giving Lana martial arts lessons and clearly enjoying the fuck out of it, and given his feelings about strong violent women I’m seeing how maybe that could work.

Holy shit. This week on Clark Kent: Worst Friend, he objects to Lana taking self defence lessons because he doesn’t like the idea of her being able to protect himself!

Jesus Christ what is with all the characters acting like actual human beings this week! When Lex realises his girlfriend might be being assaulted by her stalker her actually gets hospital security on his way over so he’s not facing him alone! Like a real person would! I’m so proud of you honey, you’re doing amazing.

I love that everyone’s so used to Smallville’s bullshit that when they find a corpse in the stalkers house no one ever blinks.

“But Lex, the Sherriff talked Lana out of pressing charges against her attackers and let them walk away despite eye witnesses to the attack because they’re rich but gave Clark community service for protecting her because he’s poor and goes to the a school where murders happened (like every other teenager in town). Why wouldn’t you trust that she has the best interests of the community at heart? Look at her, she’s very nearly Frances McDermont, of course she’s trustworthy!”

I guess a murder train makes a difference from a murder basement!

Okay, based on what’s happened every other single time Lex has had a moment of moral doubt the fact that he hesitated for a minute before performing a citizen’s arrest is almost certainly going to be a major plot point in a future episode.

So Lana’s solution to this dude suing Clark for physical assault is to assault him again but harder. Problem solving!

Aw, Lex and anger-management cupboard-sex doctor are engaged. I’d be happier about that if it wasn’t all set to the worst cover of Don’t Fear the Reaper I have ever heard in my life. They deserved better.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Just a little something to simultaneously please and enrage everyone ;) my take on what the afterlife holds

When Klaus first opened his eyes in the Forrest outside of Mystic Falls he was convinced that an afterlife of isolation and insanity was what awaited him.

He stands up, unaware of the fact that he is standing directly on top of the exact spot that Mikael drove a sword through his heart and ended his human life a thousand years ago.

“I figured this is where they’d send you” a male voice sounds from behind him and he turns around quickly, somehow still feeling the need for self preservation even though he is dead.

He is greeted by a friendly face, however.

“And what made you think that?”

“I woke up where my father shot me back in 1864. Seemed only logical you would wake up where yours killed you. Rebekah showed me this spot once.”

Klaus nods, unable to stop a smile from spreading across his face “hello, old friend”

Stefan also smiles, stepping forward the two men embrace each other.

“Why Mystic Falls?” He asks

Stefan shrugs “didn’t exactly get a welcome packet, but I’ve figured out a few things in the last decade”

Klaus raises his eyebrows, waiting for more information

“You wake up where you died. As you can imagine, a lot of people have become vampires in Mystic falls. Every now and then someone will wake up in town and then walk over the border and just disappear”

“So why haven’t you left?” Klaus asks “surely you can’t want to spend 2 eternities haunted by this little town”

“I can’t” he admits “When I walk to the border it’s like there’s a wall there”

“Trapped in Mystic Falls” Klaus sighs “how utterly ironic”

Stefan laughs despite himself, “don’t worry about me. I know why I’m here” he says cryptically and Klaus narrows his eyes a little

“Just waiting for Damon to pass on so you can be reunited with the love of your life?” Klaus asks

“Not Damon” Stefan says, tightening his jaw and holding Klaus’ gaze.

Klaus scoffs “I warned you once to let her go if you couldn’t put her above your brother. You couldn’t do it in life, why would you expect to manage in death?”

Stefan shakes his head, exhaling loudly “well that won’t be a problem here. No need to protect the dead”

“Still” Klaus says bitterly, remembering the look on Caroline’s face when she told him of Stefan’s demise. Remembering how he felt in that moment that he would never have even close to a chance with her in eternity because she would always be haunted by the man who left her

“You don’t know anything about me and Caroline” Stefan says tensely

“I know you broke her” Klaus spits “I know you left her alone” he causes “and I know that I loved her long before you ever did” Why should a dead man hide his truth

“Well you still couldn’t stay alive for her” Stefan shoots back, equally bitter about the situation “so don’t act all high and mighty with me. Life is complicated. Love is hard.”

Klaus grits his teeth. He wants to tell Stefan that if someone handed him a white oak stake and put him in front of Elijah and Caroline that his dead brother would be in the grave in a second. He wants to challenge Stefan to that same scenario. But he does not. He knows the answer. He knows what Stefan would choose. He is ready to say as much when a third voice interrupts their turf war

“Did I truly live a thousand years only to wake up back in this pathetic town”

“Brother” Klaus says, registering again the moments that precluded his death.

“No need for explanations. I heard your pissing match from a hundred feet away where I woke up” Elijah admonishes them both.

Klaus narrows his eyes, not prepared to accept chastising from the brother with more than a few secrets of his own “so bitter to wake up in Mystic Falls” he notes “where were you hoping to be? New Orleans, Perhaps?” He pauses “or maybe a little cottage in the English countryside”

“Will you truly deny me happiness even from beyond the grave, Niklaus?” Elijah asks,

“Be happy where you desire, brother” Klaus responds with a devilish grin “I’m just reminding you that you have to choose”

“Take me to the border” he responds immediately.

“You don’t want to have another tearse goodbye? I’m hurt, big brother” Klaus responds

“I am quite confident we will see each other again. Once everyone’s destiny has been sorted”

Klaus is unsure exactly what he means but nods none the less “it’s only a matter of time”

“Let’s go” Stefan breaks in, taking off at a vampire run

“I thought he died human?” Elijah asks

“I guess some powers haunt you” Klaus responds as he takes off after his friend.

Elijah sighs, thoroughly over everything to do with this town. He follows them nonetheless.

The three immortals turned corpses stare at the invisible line in front of them.

“Shall we cross it together?” Klaus asks, voice betraying the vulnerability he feels. Wanting his brother to accept his invitation into the unknown.

“We can certainly try” Elijah responds

“Despite everything, I do carry with me a sadness that this is not the time for us to reminisce, old friend” Klaus says earnestly to Stefan. Despite their rivalry they were once friends. Before all of this.

Stefan nods “I can’t say I’m upset you won’t be here, but I must agree that I hope there will come a time for us to cross paths again”

Klaus nods

Elijah looks to his brother as they prepare to step over the line. His brows furrow for a second “I do not have to choose” he says abruptly

Klaus gives him an incredulous stare

“This is the afterlife. This is it. Why should we all hold such a torch for monogamy? I do not want to choose between Hayley and Katerina. Were I forced to I would know my answer, but I do not believe I will be forced to”

“That is a picture I never needed in my head for eternity, Elijah” Klaus responds

“But it is a message I believe you will need to remember” he says.

Klaus looks at his brother in confusion. What is he talking about?

The answer becomes clear in the next moment

When the original brothers make to step across the border

But only one of them disappears from view.

The other hits a wall

“Oh for fuck sakes” Stefan says in exasperation from behind A very confused Klaus

“I wish I was more surprised” Stefan admits

“I don’t understand?” Klaus asks, turning to his friend

Stefan sighs “I was hoping to not be the one to explain this part to you” he pauses “I need a drink if we’re going to have this conversation”

An hour and 8 bourbon neat’s later Stefan finally relents “you wake up where you died. Then you leave to find your eternity with the one you loved most” he shakes his head, pouring himself another shot

Klaus creases his eyebrows “look, Stefan I know we were mates, but I would hardly say-“

“Get your head out of your ass for once in your life” Stefan grits irritably, still angry at the hand destiny seems to have dealt him “everyone in the known universe knows how utterly in love you are with her except for her and you”

“Caroline” Klaus says, dumbfounded “but why?” He continues, reaching for the bottle himself “I always knew that she was everything for me but... she wants you in her eternity” he says bitterly “she still wears your ring around her neck. You are her everything” he says, the words like acid on his tongue

“Apparently not” Stefan shrugs

“I don’t understand” Klaus says, still shocked “she wants you. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to burden her with myself for eternity. Why can’t I leave her to be happy?” He asks, pain evident in his voice “just let me go. I will. I will go and you can both be happy. Caroline deserves that much” he says miserably

“You don’t get it” Stefan says, an edge of sympathy seeping into his clipped tone “no one is unhappy here. If she didn’t want you to be here you wouldn’t be. If she wanted only me, truly only me that is what she would have. You would be exiled. That’s the punishment. That’s the only punishment here. If you are unworthy of being loved you end up in isolation. Otherwise.... you will be with whoever you loved” he pauses “whoever loved you” he practically spits the last sentence.

Klaus is dumbfounded. He thought she was taking pitty on him. He never imagined for a moment that Caroline could truly... love him.

“I’m sorry” Klaus admits. And he is. He is sorry to cause his friend pain

“Don’t be. You’ll get your punishment and so will I”

Klaus looks at him in confusion

“Who knows how long it will take for Caroline to turn up. But I know that I love someone else. Your presence here confirmed everything. She will come when her time is up and so will the other man she loves”

“Elena” Klaus says, almost laughing “that is rich” he admits “to throw us all back into this town. What has death even changed at this point” his bitterness is evident

“Guilt” Stefan says slowly “Elena doesn’t have to feel guilty for loving Damon and me. I don’t have to feel guilty for loving Elena and Caroline. Caroline doesn’t have to feel guilty for loving me and you.”

Klaus scoffs “how ironic that I’m the only one who truly has eyes for only one woman”

Stefan looks up at him “that’s the only way I can make peace with you being here. Despite everything, you love her. Only her. She loves us both and we will deal with that. But you love her, and that is all that matters”

Klaus nods, “god only knows I’ll be punished for loving her” he shakes his head “in a few decades I’ll get to watch you and Damon fawn over Elena for who knows how long until she turns up” he shudders

“Maybe Caroline will die first. We lead dangerous supernatural lives” Stefan shrugs

“Don’t you dare say that” Klaus threatens “I don’t care how long I suffer. Caroline needs more time. Time with her daughters, time to see the world. She need more time. She’s barely begun”

Stefan nods “I couldn’t agree more. Why do you think I’m making peace with having to see your face every day for the rest of eternity”

Klaus smirks “So what do you propose we do for the next few centuries in this little town?”

Stefan raises a single eyebrow “isn’t it obvious?” He shakes the bottle of bourbon “we drink”.

[villainous-oc-review]

*sorry for rushed bad art.*

No worries, it doesn’t look bad at all. 

(A bit of context. This is a zombie infection on a smallish scale during present time (only a small area affected) so while everything is going on the government is covering things up from the public at large. So if it seems odd that people aren’t freaking out, it’s a very isolated thing.)

Character’s full name: Isabella Lolita Peste

Reason or meaning of name: Isabella = Devoted to god/ gift from god Lolita = sorrow/suffering Peste= plague/disease

Was this a name given to her at birth or given by herself? Because it’s very fitting, her parents must have assumed she’d be fucked from birth. 

Character’s nickname: Izzy, Rotting one, Plague mistress Reason for nickname: Izzy is what her family and friends called her, the other two are titles she has been given as her reputation grew.

Plague Mistress sounds really neat. 

Birth date: December 14th, 1315

Physical appearance Age: At time of story roughly 700 years old

How old does he/she appear: It’s hard to tell as he face is heavily disfigured by her body’s decomposition.

How does she keep it from completely rotting and rendering her entirely useless and immobile?

Weight: 56 pounds. (Has lost weight due to starvation and decomposition)

Height: 5’7”

Body build: Ectomorph

Shape of face: sharp and pronounced eyebrow, chin and cheekbones.

Eye color: formerly brown, now do to ruptured veins and arteries in the eyes are redish-black.

Glasses or contacts: none

Skin tone: formerly a nice olive, now a greyish green.

Distinguishing marks: Right cheek has rotted away, multiple cuts on neck and forehead. Veins and arteries are easily visible.

From what?

Hair color: once a dark brown now faded to a greyish brown.

Type of hair: straight hair that seems limp and lifeless

Hairstyle: shoulder blade length, shaggy unkempt.

Voice: A soft, raspy whisper.

Overall attractiveness: uh unless you like zombies not very.

Don’t kinkshame the necrophiliacs. 

Physical disabilities: blind, and can’t feel physical sensations (ie someone tapping her or running into something) very well.

How does she do things if she can’t see or feel things? Smell? Sound?

Usual fashion of dress: ripped and tattered commoners clothes from the 13th century.

Personality Good personality traits: passionate and determined for her work, rather careful about what she says or does and is very patient. (Progress and success take time after all!)

Bad personality traits: obsessive over every little detail, absolutely a neat freak of the highest order, way to serious about her work.

Mood character is most often in: curious

Sense of humor: loves others pain and laughs at their misery. Mostly because she caused it.

Character’s greatest joy in life: watching her creations (deadly diseases) do as intended.

Character’s greatest fear: That she will be stopped.

Why? It would delay scientific growth and mean the destruction of her creations.

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Regaining her humanity or finding love.

....Why love gotta be included, she’s a little dead and rotting. I was joking, please kinkshame the necrophiliacs. 

Character is most at ease when: she has been working nonstop for days.

Most ill at ease when: In the presence of non sick humans

Enraged when: her creations fail.

Depressed or sad when: flashes of her former life surface.

Priorities: her work before all else.

Life philosophy: nature is a cycle, you are born, you live, you die, and your body helps the next generation in the cycle live. This cycle is absolute and can not be stopped or delayed, only sped up.

If granted one wish, it would be: to finally be able to die. Not that she is aware of it.

Why? Her humanity is disgusted by what she has done and would like to end this monster she has become.

Character’s soft spot: rats. Or any other disease carrying animals.

Is this soft spot obvious to others? If others got close to her, most definitely.

How are people able to get close to her???

Greatest strength: her intelligence.

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: her obsessiveness.

Biggest accomplishment: her ‘improved’ version of the bubonic plague.

Character’s darkest secret: regrets everything but is compulsed to continue creating deadly diseases.

Does anyone else know? No.

Goals Drives and motivations: A compulsive need to create more horrific diseases to unleash upon the world.

Immediate goals: work on whatever project she has on the go.

Long term goals: figuring out how she became the intelligent dead.

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: work no stop until she figures it out.

How other characters will be affected: they will be her guinea pigs for the new infections and mutations.

Past Hometown: small fishing village (name is a work in progress)

Type of childhood: average for a 13th century Italian peasant woman.

First memory: picking flowers in a field with a blurry figure she thinks is her mother.

Most important childhood memory: being married off to an older man.

Why: she despised him and it hurt that her family cared more about status then her.

Dream job: would have loved to be a sailor but women were considered bad luck to have on board a ship.

I assume diseased ones are especially bad luck.

Education: learned household chores from her mother.

Religion: Roman catholic.

Present Current location: somewhere in the USA

Religion: Roman catholic.

Occupation: ‘researcher’

Family Mother: Maria Peste Relationship with her: somewhat distant.

Father: Giovanni Peste Relationship with him: hates him for forcing her into a marriage she did not want.

Siblings: two brothers and a sister. Relationship with them: never met them, they died in infancy.

Spouse: Nico grassi Relationship with him/her: Despises him and finds him gross.

Children: Lunette Grassi Relationship with them: loved them dearly, died young in an accident.

Well given she was from the 13th century I’m assuming everyone here is actually dead. Why only mention that some are? If they aren’t dead, why aren’t they?

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Pessimist

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

Daredevil or cautious? Cautious

Logical or emotional? Emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Disorderly and messy

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident.

Animal lover? Depends on the animal.

Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: both as a monster and as the caretaker of the cycle.

One word the character would use to describe self: Monster (for the human side) Guardian (the rest of her)

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Not at all, she is an open book that talks so to speak.

Person character most hates: her now deceased husband.

Best friend(s): None

Love interest: Kevin Springs (unfortunate protagonist.)

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Kevin Springs

Person character feels shy or awkward around: No One

Person character openly admires: Kevin Springs

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Lunette Grassi

After story starts: Kevin Springs

Bio

Isabella was born during the early 13th century and had a normal childhood for the time, learning sowing and other domestic tasks from her mother while her father taught her how to read and write.

Eventually when she came of age, she was immediately married off to one of the rich traders in town to help boost her family’s status. She hated her husband, and fought the union every way she could. But it was all in vain and she was married to him, and eventually had one child named Lunette.

Isabella may have hated her spouse, but she loved her daughter dearly. Lunette was a light in her life, and Lunette’s presence made the forced marriage bearable. But this was not to last.

When Lunette was 10 she was killed in an accident while playing at the docks. The pier she was on collapsed and she was dragged under the water by the currents. They never found her body.

Isabella grieved, she wailed and she cried for the loss of her daughter. Isabella refused to eat, sleep or drink, instead she would sit by the docks and stare out into the ocean. This lead to her being one of the first to die to the bubonic plague/the black death.

Her corpse was dumped in a mass grave away from the town, and while she lay decomposing, the disease began to mutate. It began to preserve what little of her remains that had not rotted, and caused angry blisters and welts to forum on her body. Then in the early 16th century she woke up.

Why?

Hazy memories are all she had, so she began to wander. She sparked terror across Italy as she drifted around, aggravated by her hunger and a nagging urge at the back of her mind. Eventually the hunger got so bad she dug up fresh bodies in a cemetery and devoured them.

She soon gained the title of the rotting one after her ghoulish appearance, on top of becoming An urban legend, one calling her a herald of sickness and hard times ahead.

She was oblivious to all this, but what come to her attention was the rumors of the new world. So through one way or another Isabella went to what would become America, and isolated herself.

Eventually she began to grow bored, and this boredom led to pay attention to the advancements in medicine. The dull urge in the back of her mind came to the for front and pushed her to begin experimenting on the bodies of those who died do to diseases.

Over the years her research lead to the creation of many horrible illnesses, which she kept hidden from the world in an abandoned coal mine. Then finally she created he raster piece, a virus that would turn others into what she was.

She released the virus into all nearby water sources, and slowly all nearby towns and cities became infected. It spread quickly, but the results were not what she had hoped. Instead of being sentient and intelligent, the infected were basically brain dead and stupid. Isabella was enraged and threw herself back into her work, improving and strengthening the virus.

But as she did this, Isabella noticed some people were immune to her creation. Eventually she fixated on a group of survivors lead by ex chef Kevin Springs, and she was smitten. She became obsessed with Kevin, to the point she would begin to stalk him and ignore her work.

Why???

The stalking escalated to her harassing his survivor group, attempting to kill the others and to get close to Kevin. She hunted the group down and managed to kill Kevin at the time love interest, but was severely wounded. This caused her to back off for a time to lick her wounds and regroup.

How is she able to be wounded? 

Eventually after men conflicts Kevin and his group found out about her being sentient, and the source for the infection. So they began to track her back to her hide out. There they confront her for the last time and kill her.

And finally Isabella was free, and with her notes the government created the cure to the virus and everything was covered up.

I’m not sure if she counts as a villain, but I think she would be. The story is very work in progress, and any and all suggestions for what I could fix or change is appreciated.

I definitely consider her a villain, yes. She’s pretty interesting, I do love the idea of a mother of disease pretty much. It sounds really cool. 

I think things like her general anatomy need work, like how does she work? How has she survived, why was she revived, why did it take so long for her to be revived, things like that. 

Generally, I despise “zombies”, but I think this is a pretty neat concept.

[raw-output]

4

“Why do you refuse to understand,” Mark half-shouted at her around a mouthful of soba. They had decided to get lunch and talk things over, and for the first half-hour it seemed to be going constructively. Then she had to go and stumble on one of her brother’s many scattered verbal landmines, and the conversation quickly turned into a one-sided tirade she knew she had no chance of interrupting, let alone stopping.

“You think I’m playing a game here? Pretending to be Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor? I couldn’t give half a damn about the dregs - if the Council have their way, none of that will matter! What I’m trying to do is delay them.”

He rambled on, two beads of sweat slowly traversing his forehead. His hair unkempt, circles under his bloodshot eyes, mild jitters in his hands... The only reason he wasn’t in the back of a paddy wagon having a very interesting conversation with an enforcer was that he looked certifiably insane, hopped up on something rough, or both. There were hundreds of derelicts just like that lining up at the slop shops, and so long as they didn’t bother anyone apart from each other, nobody wasted their time policing them.

“You killed people, Mark,” she finally interjected, hoping the direct simplicity of her accusation would jostle him out of his self-righteous rant.

Naturally, it did more harm than good.

“Killed people? I broke parts of a machine. Calling them people is an affront to those who still think for themselves,” he countered.

Kira's patience gave out all at once, like a bursting pressure tank.

“What the hell are you trying to achieve then,” she hissed. “You’re hitting shipment after shipment on someone’s orders, and getting paid for it. Does any of that scrip go to anyone but yourself? What about the metal? Every ingot we lose sets the project back a year. How many more centuries of this do you think we’ve got in us, as a species?”

Mark stared at her with a look of disbelief and... pity?

“I thought you were smarter than buying into the drivel they spout on the news. They’re not fixing anything. Not really. When was the last time you got to visit an outpost?”

“The terrain’s gotten more dangerous - they had to stop the tours!”

“No, damn it, they had to stop the tours because every outpost built in the last fifteen years is completely empty. I bet they don’t even bother pressurizing them anymore.”

“Someone would have found out by now!”

“Someone has, I’m sure. Many someones. Long-haul maintenance teams. Surveyors.” He nodded upwards at her. “ Mech operators, maybe. Then they get into convenient workplace accidents.”

“Disappearing witnesses, a classic cop-out. Fine, I’ll humor you. Where’s the metal going then?”

“The Council is hoarding it. They need a lot, or they would have done whatever it is they’re planning already.”

“Would you listen to yourself,” Kira sighed. “This is the thinnest strand of bullshit you’ve ever hung yourself from, and I still remember that vase you broke when you were seven.”

“You always did want to be an only child, didn’t you,” Mark strained through a thin, humorless smile.

“Not even a little. But I guess I am one now.” She got up and slapped a few bills on the counter, setting her empty noodle bowl on top. “I’ve never been one to snitch, Mark. I still won’t. But you’re a criminal - a traitor - and you deserve everything that’s coming to you.”

She’d volunteered for the Resource Corps that same week.

-

Mark’s transmission claimed that he’d found proof. That she needed to get back to the Cube if she wanted to survive. Kira tossed and turned in her sleeping bag, strapped to a padded handhold to avoid floating away in the hab’s gentle air currents. All around her was the low rumble of a dozen snoring miners and technicians, blissfully unaware that an Earthside criminal was about to turn everything on its head - or try to, anyway. The sound normally comforted her, reminding her of a childhood spent in her family’s small but cozy apartment, of her father passed out on the couch after a long shift at the smelting plant. Tonight, the snoring reminded her of the eerie sounds she’d heard through her construction mech’s thick hull while working external duty. Those were the mournful sighs and whistles of an atmosphere that supported a thriving civilization of billions - until they murdered it, by design or by accident.

Sleep wasn’t coming to her, so she gave it up for a lost cause and pulled herself out of the hab and into the canteen. The slop-slingers were supposed to be on a 24/7 rotation, same as everyone else, but they routinely got shuttled off to postings that had none at all. Coaxing flavor and texture out of what amounted to algae and terminally inbred crickets was one of the few worker achievements that the Corps recognized as an “internal morale stabilizer” and cooks got the rockstar treatment if they knew their stuff - and if they were present.

Luckily, there were grab-and-go bars still left, and she tapped her meal card on the reader. The dispenser whirred and a hatch slid open, revealing a foil-wrapped package. She gently pushed off the dispenser with her left foot and let the momentum carry her towards one of the canteen’s few sparse portholes. She grabbed a handhold with one hand, and half-bit half-peeled the wrapper open, the tang of aluminum foil making her teeth ache ever so slightly. She slowly chewed the vaguely bacon-flavored meal bar, deep in thought.

Mark didn’t lie about the hit gone bad - her brother’s head getting turned into fine mist was broadcast on the evening news, just as he said it would be. The anchor talked about swift justice, but was uncharacteristically mum about the two enforcers that met the same fate as the criminal. That had obviously been the contingency plan of whoever was footing Mark’s bill - enforcers aimed to incapacitate or at least preserve neural tissue.

Her brother was also right about her fellow workers’ reaction - they had shouted in raucous approval as the traitor’s headless corpse lifelessly collapsed on the ground near the armored van he’d tried to steal from.

“Serves the bastard right,” one of the older men in the room had growled.

“You fuck with our work, you get what's coming,” someone else added.

She’d hoped nobody was too suspicious of her silence.

Mark claimed he’d found proof. Was it there, in that van? Was that why his employer called the whole thing off, and chose to leave no witnesses? For all her disdain for his choice of career - if one could call it that - she knew that Mark was incredibly competent at what he did. Discarding him would have been a difficult decision. Did someone misread an order, or get a twitchy finger?

Her datapad pinged, a new message on its scuffed screen.

“Stop by the dispach room. Need to talk about what hapend on your shift today. Promis to keep it breaf.”

Cash.

Kira’s mouth was still full, so all she could manage was a groan.