#txf three words

[that--funny--feeling]

Why Existence is the perfect conclusion to TXF: my take on S8

William's storyline is the last X-File of the season (of the entire serie for some) and I think that it contains the essence of the show and the characters and that's why S8 should have been the last one in my opinion.

This analysis will aim to examine both positive and negative factors of S8. I'll try to do my best, but this is also a very personal meta. I ask you to hang on with me, if you can.

S8 overall impressions

I concluded S8 one week ago now and I had time to reflect with a cool head. I still think this is the worst season of the show (if we don't include 9 to 11 and I'm not going to talk about them here and I'd like to keep ignoring them :D ). Mulder's absence heavy influences the season obviously, the atmosphere is tragic and dramatic. It's a bit of a shock for the fans, since the light and fun air we had in season 6 and especially 7. Even though I liked Doggett and Reyes and I'm glad they joined the team, the mytharc episodes were way more then usual and as usual not handled well (starting with Within/Without), also some episodes were really just bad (Badlaa) and other make suffer Scully again and again uselessly (Roadrunners). How many times can Scully be afraid to have a miscarriage? She's pregnant and alone ffs, she had enough. All the fixation on her baby and people who wanted to hurt him or both of them really made me sick at some point.

Mulder's return makes things better, if we ignore his OOC behaviour in Three Words. I get his PTSD and feeling out of place in a world that went on without him. And I expected him to be territorial about the X-Files with Doggett, but he talks to Scully like he resents she's moving out of work because of her pregnancy. He'd be the first one to explode with joy for her (for them both), finding out she's going to have a baby. I'm glad he behaves normally from Empedocles on. Mulder's resurrection in This is not happening/Deadalive is a bit all over the place (they think he's dead but in the end he's not but meanwhile they buried him for three months? And then they need a vaccine for him to not turn into an aline but in the end they don't? O-ok. What's going to think Maggie Scully about all of this? Poor soul) but ok, let's go on.

Scully's pregnancy

Through all the season, we don't exactly know what to think about Scully's pregnancy. She wasn't supposed to have children after her abduction. Then Mulder tells her he found the vial with some of her ova. She takes them to Dr. Parenti and he says she has a chance. We also find out Dr. Parenti seems to be involved in aliens' experiments. In the end IVF doesn't work. So it seems whatever he tried to do with her, he failed, but the question remains: how is possibile for Scully to be pregnant?

Even Mulder doesn't know what to think. And I don't think his confusion is about the who's the daddy stupid topic, but about how it was possibile for her to carry a child in the first place. He's worried someone is using her again and she will suffer again. I don't think he has doubts that, experiments aside, he's the only one that can be the father of that baby. And even though he wasn't the biological one, he'd accept the role as the father all the same.

Aside from that, I think this baby is the first chance in Mulder and Scully's life to find their own normalcy, to start a life aside from work, to step aside from their save-the-world-responsabilities. They suffered enough for a lifetime afterall.

Getting out of the damn car

Mulder isn't in the FBI anymore. Scully is in maternity leave but she's not sure she'll be back. The X-Files were hard to leave behind for both of them, but they realized they would reach an end of the road sooner or later. And the end is now. We see a switch from Mulder's moment of closure about Samantha. He feels free and lighter, the atmosphere in S7 is fun and playful. As I tried to show in my fanvid, I think not only Scully, but Mulder too seeks a simpler life (maybe normalcy wasn't the right term. Neither Mulder nor Scully were ever proper afterall). At the end of S7 they both are getting there:

But even before Mulder's abduction, there's always the dilemma: Mulder's personal quest may be over, but what about looking for the Truth? Unmask the corrupt government and its secrets? This quest is maybe endless and both Mulder and Scully know about it.

Will the duty always be before the personal happiness?

Doggett & Reyes

Here they come, a skeptic and a believer again, to achieve the needed balance. I liked how the writers didn't try to replace Mulder with a similar character. Doggett is way different: he's an old school policeman, he seems reliable and tough. The sheriffs respect him and don't go as far away as possible from him like it happens with some other spooky and weird guy. He has male friends and does manly things. But he's also lonely and he's lost somebody he deeply cared for because of something he can't explain. So he's drawn to the X-Files in more ways than one.

Reyes always smiles and that made me fall for her. She's a breath of fresh air in a dark and melancholic season. She doesn't know well Scully, but she's ready to help, because she trusts Doggett and that's enough for her. She respects Mulder even before knowing him, because Scully does and that's enough for her. She's ready to do everything for a cause that she cares for and her amazement and sense of justice really reminded me of the feeling of the first season.

I adore how Scully and Doggett's trust is built case after case, I love how Scully sees something of herself in him (his need to find practical proofs and his stubborness on not believing the fantastic) and viceversa (Doggett is protective of her and her child because he doesn't want her to go through what happened to him). I love how Scully likes Reyes from day one, because she's fun and weird and she reminds her of her dead sister (this really warms my heart).

I love how Mulder obviously is territorial about his department with Doggett but then starts to respect and trust him enough with the X-Files. I love how Mulder sees how spontaneous and stubborn Reyes is and says she'd be useful in the X-Files.

The way both Mulder and Scully pass the baton to them really does things to me. Because maybe the quest to the truth really is infinite, but they understand they can find people honest and passionate about that just like them. And after all these years, they can rest, knowing that someone is still out there fighting.

William

As I anticipated, many things are said about this baby. He may be an hybrid by the aliens, he may be a supersoldier by the army, he may even be a real miracle by God. But I like to think it's none of these things.

William is really the union of Mulder and Scully. When the IVF fails, Mudler says:

Mulder, the furthest man from religion, says it to Scully, because that's what he does best: he believes. He never gives up no matter what (he neither did when Scully had cancer). He knows she needs to hear it and he needs it too. He's ready to believe in a miracle for her.

I don't think William is a miracle in the christian sense. I think he's a miracle, because it's the most improbable but plausible thing that could happen in a sea of paranormal possibilities. What if there was a 1% chance for Scully to become pregnant in a conventional way and they fell in that 1%? He's the essence of both their genetics and their points of view. What if he is just a normal boy?

Because it's theirs, their baby, their miracle. And if I have to choose what to believe, I want to believe that.

The end.

My TXF posts and videos.

[is-on-its-way]

The moment Mulder quits

A point in which Mulder was ready to quit the minute he saw Scully hold a baby in season 7 and its effects in season 8

*this is my headcanon, its not gospel obviously Firstly, two scenes that are very linked in my head

Season 7 Ep 22 Requiem and Season 8 Ep 16 Three Words

Look at that face. That dead serious, at all costs face.

Season 7

Requiem. The culmination of Scully and Mulder's secret yearish? long quest for a baby. They've tried for a baby with IVF already. Mulder has promised her he wont give up on a miracle for her and they're well... trying basically, throughout season 7. Perhaps I would call it "hoping" for a baby. Maybe Mulder is hoping and Scully is characteristically ambivalent? Fully not using any contraceptives and I know there's a fic in there somewhere, anyway

The first scene above is why Ive never watched past the season 8 finale. nothing past them agreeing to be a family makes any sense because of Mulders face here. People knock Duchovny for not showing out when acting, but I will always be a defender of subtle acting. The way he can say an entire monologue of dialogue with the minute expressions on his face is quite breathtaking here.

Hes goes from sorrow at Scully not being able to have a baby, sorrow at her loss, sorrow at not being able to give her that; to regret at what he thinks is all his fault, at dragging her into this life; to pure love and affection for her seeing this baby in her lap and how good she is with him; and then a smile peaks out. A smile of hope that could compete with the Mona Lisa. Hope for their future and the certainty with which he knows what he wants so clearly, maybe for the first time in his life. His own family.

Like for the first time hes really deciding the cost is too much and he chooses her over the mission. He chooses their future over everything. And he's hopeful and perhaps even happy about it. which for someone with his amount of family trauma is a seismic shift. For so long he's chased the past in hope of fixing it, completely discombobulated and reckless in his search for well, his family.

Though, from the beginning of that moment in the rainy graveyard, he has slowly unconsciously coming to regard Scully as his family. In small gestures, a hand on her cheek or voicing out loud how important she is to him; to big gestures, giving up who he believes is his actual sister to save her.

We are lucky here, to be able to witness the moment the sparks of unconscious thought bloom into the flame of certainty. He follows up as well. Tells her she has to stay, that the cost doesn't outweigh the price anymore. Sure he wants to finish out this case, but he doesn't work without her, thats been established. Him telling her to stop, is his resignation as well. (There's a fit there too, with Skinner and him on the plane probably Skinner already knowing he's done.)

Thomas Flight praises subtly in acting better than I could ever articulate here:

Season 8

Mulder was weird and the PTSD was implied, but I choose to see it everywhere. After the moment in three words where Mulder tries to let them go gently because he thinks he's too damaged to be a father (Thanks @randomfoggytiger for the meta on that) (there's a fic here obviously where Scully gives him the space to be broken and also hers) After this though, he's not the Mulder as we've seen, ever. He's not the Mulder who

cares about exposing the government so he can say I told you so

cares about saving the public from the invasion

cares about finding the ultimate truth that has driven him since he found the X files

cares about solving cases and one upping the FBI, trying to force them to admit the truth out loud.

Mulder is fighting the entire season for his family.

he cares about exposing the conspiracy so everyone including his child will be safe.

he cares about saving the earth for his child's future

he cares about his childs and his families safety

he has zero concern about the FBI and what they do anymore.

In the second scene above, he's about had it with the entire conspiracy and he's downright pissed. He wants it all to end he doesn't care how. He wants to protect his child above everything. Sure he's usually reckless but this isn't for him and his self involved cause anymore, it's for his family, his wellbeing be damned at some points along the way. He states his thesis in three words while breaking into FBI files in an astonishing show of recklessness

"Look, Scully, I need to make sense of what happened to me. So that I can stop it. Because if I can't stop it, it could happen to anyone. It could happen to you. And who's to say it's going to stop there?"

I always wondered why he was putting Scully through all that, without realising this was the reason. Poor guy. There's nothing else in his purview anymore besides that baby who's in danger, and his family, so much so, when he is ultimately fired from the FBI, he's positively giddy at his newfound freedom.

If he had then gone down a path temporarily where he murdered his way through the remnants of the syndicate to assure the safety of his family John Wick style, I would've absolutely believed it.

It would've been insanely intriguing look at an evolving dynamic between Scully and Mulder. Scully law abiding Mulder reckless as always but with a different motivation. Becoming what he's always feared, to protect the family he has never had. A family he feels like he's only grasping at, as they're slipping through his fingers due to the danger and his recent and past traumas.

There's a reason a lot of the fandom sees Mulder as a happy stay at home dad post wherever they decide to end watching. Thats what he's been searching for his entire life. A happy family with loving parents. When he let go of that dream for himself in Closure, he found he could want that for his future family whatever that looked like (adoption, a miracle, etc.) in Requiem. And I personally don't believe he ever would let that dream go once he realised, I mean we all saw the devotion he had to his sister right?

In other words these are my reasons season 9 onwards make zero sense and I regard them as AU

[randomfoggytiger]

Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part VIII) UPDATED!: Missing Conversations and Mulder Gettin' His Groove On

In the aftermath of Three Words, we are left with a few resolved questions-- Mulder knew the baby was his, Mulder didn't resent Scully, Mulder and Scully eye-bantered about the baby issue in her kitchen with the Gunmen, etc.-- that help to more fully make sense of that episode and the tail end of Season 8.

However. We are then given a giant, gaping hole of nothing that bridges the gap between the heavier mood of Three Words and the buoyantly tender one of Empedocles.

So, that leaves us with speculations, probabilities, and body language.

**Note**: This post has been updated to include @baronessblixen's thought on Mulder and Scully's conversation (did they or didn't they?) The nuance of "a little of both" is also a solid possibility.

FILLING IN THE BLANKS

During the events of Three Words, Mulder and Scully maintained a pattern: she pulled, he pushed, she was frustrated and anxious to the point of tears, he was frustrated and fearful to the point of honorable death. Neither wanted to push or pull away too far from each other, always drawing back in close proximity. Most importantly, Mulder gave her short tender or joking glances but never touched her.

The touching is important.

Usually, it's Scully who withdrew in times of crisis: not because she wanted to ice Mulder out, but because she wanted to maintain her wall of strength. Knowing that a touch from her partner will unspool it, she tried (tries) to escape emotionally tenuous situations before losing control. Mulder, however, learned to draw to her in emotional crises (Anasazi, Herrenvolk, Paper Hearts, Redux II, Emily, etc.)

That pattern contributed to Scully's bafflement and concern in Three Words: Mulder attempted to keep his trauma under wraps but gave himself away by withdrawing physically. She already sensed something off with him in the hospital (script here, thanks @x-files-scripts); but each successive conversation reinforced that by the unnatural space he enforced between them.

I've previously discussed at length why he stayed at a distance (post here, here, and here.) In short, Mulder was trying to keep up a facade-- his cool exterior, if you will-- so that his partner wouldn't prod or pry or urge (or send) him to professional help. Mulder's a "lash out to fix a problem instead of searching within to find the solution" kind of guy; and besides, he likely saw his situation as hopeless. Most therapists and psychologists didn't (don't) believe in aliens, let alone alien abductions; so, the only place he could find professional help would be in his circles-- where he's already a very well-known community figurehead. (While I don't think the latter was a consideration during his Three Words kneejerk, it at least points us to a possible solution post episode.)

Another problem: falling in-step with this season's useless (and often infuriating) scripts-to-screen translation-- post here for the paternity question but also script here for Mulder and Doggett's needlessly baited escape from the DOD facility-- we're not shown the gap between Three Words and Empedocles. We're left to assume Mulder and Scully had an off-screen conversation that resolved the distance between them... but I have doubts that was the case.

DID THEY OR DIDN'T THEY TALK?

It's often referenced that Mulder and Scully don't talk outside of work (ex. stated straightly in Detour and hinted slyly in Rain King.) The show leaned so far into this narrative that the only proof we have of an on-going relationship between the two in Season 7 is Scully's tie twirling, flirting, and unabashed possessiveness post Millennium and pre-all things... and even then, it might not be proof enough for some (or most) viewers.

The reality is, Mulder and Scully spent hours and hours and hours investigating, researching, and surveilling. We've seen plot relevant conversations during work hours that aren't just about work (i.e. Mulder asking Scully about her brothers in Roland), leading one to conclude that they've had very interesting and tantalizing talks when not currently occupied with a case.

Did one of those tantalizing talks happen off-screen between Three Words and Empedocles?

We have two options before us:

Mulder and Scully did talk. This would require a shift in their dynamic post Three Words; and the instigator would likely be Scully. She was already emotionally raw, growing more compromised, and stretched to her limits by the previous episode. It's not a far-fetched theory for her to have requested space or time to recover; and that shift in their wonky new routine would have off-set Mulder, and possibly pushed him out of himself and back to her. There are two hitches to this theory: it would require time to pass (not as big of a deal), and a conversation that would all too easily click them back into their touchy-feely dynamic previous to the events in Empedocles. The latter part is key: him feeling the baby in her hospital room is framed as his first time reaching out to connect with it-- and that would leave us with another question: did Mulder reach out only to Scully in the gap between Three Words and Empedocles; and if so, was she okay with that? There was no barrier or awkwardness on her side in Empedocles, so that points to a negative on the "reaching out to her but not the baby" theory (proved by her distress when he avoided the baby entirely in Three Words.) This means: to have a conversation, they would have had to reconcile without touching at all... which might (would) also further upset Scully; and, thus, disrupt her placid temperament in Empedocles. Ultimately, this theory leads to more questions than answers; but it can work, though not perfectly (depending on the viewer's interpretation.)

Mulder and Scully did not talk. This works with the lore of the show: Mulder and Scully don't generally talk, but their body language does. Moreover, it would also fit with the insanely fast-paced timeline of Season 8 (and The X-Files in general)-- Three Words happening within days, Empedocles chockfull with unacknowledged air fare and car rides, etc. On top of all that, it would also fit in with Scully's light-hearted moments in Three Words-- continually trying to draw her partner into a better outlook or mood-- and her eager openness in Deadalive, Three Words, and Empedocles. This means: it wasn't a conversation that settled Mulder and Scully-- it was Mulder who came to a resolution of sorts and showed up in repentance and reconciliation. Ultimately, I think this theory fits more with the show writers' vision of the characters; and would work seamlessly if the two episodes were fitted tightly back-to-back.

Mulder and Scully do a little of both: This idea was taken from @baronessblixen's tags; and it absolutely sounded like something those two would do. To quote: "...a combination. Mulder found more of his footing. And I think they had a conversation-- maybe just a light one-- that just touched on things because they weren't there yet." This means: Mulder and Scully got to clear the air between them without progressing too forward too fast-- which gives Mulder talking without touching leeway and hands Scully reassurance without rejection.

I, personally, pick the second theory. Mulder's actions in Empedocles--showing up at her doorstep right before her morning (or afternoon) shower, sweeping her off her feet with a present and pizza man banter, hovering until she motioned for him to feel the baby, ordering her pizza from his place in an attempt to displace the pizza man, etc.-- are completely unexpected by Scully. She answers the door, perplexed; is amazed and amused by his "the pizza man is not above suspicion" tease; "touched" by his personal package and surprise pizza delivery; and confident enough in his stability to rib him about being replaced by the pizza man in his absence. To me, these read as the actions of a woman not at all "conversated" with her partner: surprised, pleased, and overjoyed he'd come around on his own, baffled, disjointed, and silent at his about-face in proceeding episodes. Most pivotally, there seem to be no boundaries laid down between them, which leaves Scully feeling she can't command or demand he stay by her side in future episodes-- another point against conversation.

**Update**: I retract the previous paragraph slightly-- Scully and Mulder could follow in the footsteps of Empedocles for both scenario 2 and 3; and their attitude would fall a little more in line with 3's mild conversation than 2's non-communication. Everyone can pick for themselves, of course~.

Because, again, the context of their touches changes the interpretation of their reunion: is he still withdrawn, yet temporarily stepping up because of the glow of her and the baby's safety? Did he touch her previous to the gift exchange and her hospitalization? Or did he hover closer and closer with presents and banter, trying to smooth over yesterday(ish)'s events before the abruption took place?

This point will have to be picked apart more in-depth in later posts; but in the meantime, the theory is out there to analyze.

MULDER GETTIN' HIS GROOVE ON

An important aside: Mulder and Scully and his package.

The original scene (script here) reads as more exasperated on Scully's part-- "what's my crackpot partner doing here with a gift in his hand", if you will-- and more jocular and unabashed on Mulder's. It's an interesting take, and not out-of-character. The final render of that scene, however, changes what we can infer from the characters. Perhaps that's mostly due to David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson's chemistry, camaraderie, and history-- based on the note "the actors will know how to play it" (script here)-- or perhaps it didn't quite align with where Chris Carter wanted the characters to be. Either way, it's a smart change, I believe, in the unspoken aftermath of Three Words.

What is interesting is the "nice package" comment from Scully, and Mulder's shy initial misinterpretation with regards to his package. Beyond the comedy of the moment, it gives us a peek into Mulder's head: namely, that he is not dead, that he is still very aware of Scully, and that he didn't drop in and isn't hanging around strictly for pure or impersonal purposes.

Mulder usually sloughed off or was flustered by direct compliments, romantic and platonic, from other parties (i.e. Agent Henderson in Young at Heart and Cassandra Spender in Two Fathers.) His response here-- which I shall dive deeper into in a future part-- shows he truly thought Scully was complimenting with intent (propositioning, if you will); and that he was more than willing to reciprocate.

Not only that, but his misinterpretation bleeds right into his overtures for the baby. Mulder took a trip to his mother's-- meaning he still has her house, months later (another interesting thought to dig into)-- to root around in and find a suitable gift. An honorary Mulder family relic, too: another sign he saw this child as his own, despite his oft conflicting, paranoid doubts. This assumption aligns with David's astute observations of his character while filming the Revival: "William is the child that Scully had while we were together. It could be mine, it could be an alien, but I don't know. It's my child, I think. Mulder would live his life as if that was his child." Despite the doubts he voices in Essence's opening monologue, Mulder acts as if he claims the baby as his. And it's not surprising: the signs are there (covered in all of my previous meta parts) but smudged or written out by writers intent on baiting the answers as much as possible (again, post here.)

So, what does this mean?

CONCLUSION

Sometime between Three Words and Empedocles, Mulder gets enough of his act together to reflect on and tweak his behavior, schelpping up to and back from Tena Mulder's house to bear gifts for the offspring, caveman papa style. In addition to that, he lays down a few more walls; softens up; shows open, genuine interest in his child; and begins to rekindle his and his partner's relationship. Most tellingly, he touches Scully for the first time during her health scare; then for the first time with purpose after she and the baby pull through.

The question of what was said between them-- or even if there was anything said between them-- will never be answered. Knowing Mulder and Scully, the possibilities could go any way depending on one's own interpretation. Hopefully those possibilities have been fleshed out more thoroughly and reasonably in this write-up.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[cutemothman]

I need to talk about Scully in season 8.

Her best friend has just been abducted and the search for him is being treated like a manhunt. Like he's a criminal. After all she's done to stick up for him, she has to watch as his name gets dragged through the mud over and over again. He's a joke to everyone. Despite the fact that he's brilliant and loyal and has the biggest heart, they still see him as a raving lunatic who's obsessed with aliens and ghosts and cryptids. It's even suggested that he staged his abduction because he knew he was dying and wanted to go out with a bang. But that's not Mulder and she knows that. She's not even put in charge of the taskforce to find him, even though she's the person who has the best chance of finding him because anyone else is going to go looking in the wrong places. They can't find him because they don't know him like she does. The power is completely wrenched away from her.

And at the exact same time Mulder goes missing, she finds out she's pregnant. At the end of Requiem, you can see all the emotions she's feeling. Fear because Mulder's gone, confusion because she thought that she was infertile, and hope. So much hope. Gillian does a fantastic job in this scene. She's crying and she's scared but you can tell she wants to be happy about this. It's what she's always wanted. To be a mother. And she knows it's Mulder's baby. And it's so fucking unfair. She got what she hoped and prayed for. After all she's been through. After discovering Emily and having to watch her die. Just as this dream comes true for her the love of her life is ripped away from her.

And she's alone. Without the person that's been by her side for 7 years. I wrote in a fic once that Scully and Mulder are like two bonded shelter cats that can't be separated. She's not used to him not being in her life. Thank god she still has Skinner who always has her back (I get super emotional thinking about how he didn't even entertain Alex's ridiculous request to take out Scully's baby in exchange for a vaccine for Mulder). And despite a rocky beginning with Doggett, he's more than proven himself to her. But none of that matters because she doesn't have Mulder. The person who understands her better than anyone. And because of all the things she's seen, everything she's been through since they first went to Bellefleur, she can't deny the existence of all the improbable things that he's has been showing her all these years. Scully loves Mulder so much that she becomes him. When she's out on cases with Doggett, she assumes the role of believer as a foil to Doggett's realism. She knows how badly Mulder was treated, but now she has to experience that firsthand. Stepping into his shoes, she has to listen to people calling her crazy just like they did to Mulder all those years.

When they find Mulder's body, Doggett literally has to drag her off of his corpse.

Beside Mulder's grave, Scully comments to Skinner how it doesn't feel real that she's standing there. They've had a lot of close calls over the years, but they've always ended up okay. No matter how scraped and bruised and bloodied they always managed to get out alive. Until one of them didn't. He was the last one, she says. His father, his mother, his sister, and now him. In a beautiful moment, Skinner points out that he wasn't the last in reference to her baby (god, I love Skinner).

It's real this time. He's really gone. No matter how much she wishes that she'll see him walk through the door of his office or hear his voice when she picks up the phone he's gone and it's real and he's not coming back.

We as the audience don't get to see what those three months were like when she believed that he was dead, but they must have been absolute hell. She has to grieve him. Knowing that their child will never meet their father. She got her miracle but at what cost? She has to think about how she can move forward. How she can pick up the pieces and continue that work that he started, because if she doesn't, then what the hell was it all even for?

Three months isn't nearly enough time to even scratch the surface of her grief but she's getting up each day and surviving. She has to. What else is she supposed to do?

And then he comes back.

Scully saw them put Mulder in the ground. She stood by his side as he was lowered. This wasn't a magic act. This wasn't a trick of the light. It wasn't a case of a 'missing presumed dead suddenly reappears' soap opera plot. He was dead and now he's not. Scully's seen a lot of shit and opened herself up to new beliefs but this is a whole new level of bizarre. How do you even begin to process the return of someone you put in the ground. People don't just come back from the dead. Aliens exist and monsters are real but people don't come back from the dead.

No one who spends three months buried alive comes out of that okay. I love how they show the change in Mulder's personality. Duchovny portrays him so well. His jokes have more bite. He's darker. There's a new kind of tension that hangs between him and Scully. So thick it's almost choking. It's palpable, especially in that scene where they go back to his apartment. They seem to be dancing around each other. He even apologizes to her for being cold. He says that he's having a hard time figuring out where he fits in. He sees Scully, heavily pregnant, with a new partner by her side living her life without him, and that must be so fucking hard for him. I think back a lot to their conversation in the motel room in Requiem. How he tells her that she has so much more she needs to do with her life. Not our lives, your life. What really strikes me is how he doesn't include himself into that equation. The white picket fence domestic life that she craves. Even though she asked him to be the father of her child, he doesn't see how he fits into that scenario. He never did, even from the beginning but he was willing to try because it's Scully and he would do anything for her. But now, he sees her doing okay without him and he super doesn't feel like he belong.

I sense a kind of hopelessness here from Scully when he comes back. She doesn't know how she can convince him that, yes you belong in my life, so a lot of things go unsaid. There's something that's so maddening but also so special about this show and things that are unspoken. The things that are left up in the air. All the things that we are left to piece together. They don't even touch on the topic of the baby's paternity right after he comes back even though you can tell it's just eating at him. I think he knows but a part of him just can't believe it. He flashes Scully a confused look when Langly makes a comment about him being the father. She doesn't tell him because he's been buried for three months and she doesn't want to pile anything else on him. She can sense that he's hurting so deeply and there isn't a whole lot that she can do about it.

So here she is. She has him back, her best friend rose from the dead. By all intents and purpose, this is a miracle. The man that she loves crawled his way from the grave and back into her life. But things are different now. He's changed and so has she. And she knows they can't ever go back to the way they were before.

[soufflegirl]

in je souhaite mulder and scully are finally in a place where they can drink beer together and watch a bad movie and just be. they've closed samantha's chapter and scully is fairly happy and mulder is finally at peace. and then requiem happens and mulder disappears and scully is pregnant and alone. and then mulder is dead and she has to bury him and move on without him while carrying their child and she is alone, alone, alone. and then mulder comes back and the world went on without him and what is his place in a world where scully is pregnant and has a new partner and the x-files weren't shut down because he wasn't there? and so his paranoia comes back and he can't sit still, he can't stay in a place, he has to move and prove that the world still needs him. and scully doesn't know how to be around him and how to communicate with him and tell him that she's carrying their child, their child! and it makes me so sad, because scully was fairly happy and then she's suddenly so alone and mulder was finally at peace and then he doesn't know where he fits in anymore

[x-files-scripts]

The X-Files - “Three Words”

Written by Chris Carter & Frank Spotnitz

April 3, 2001 (GOLD)

Scully sees that Mulder is deeply troubled despite his humor...

Mulder’s homecoming...

Deleted scene:

[agent-troi]

I WAS DYING LAUGHING AT YOUR TAGS ON MY POST-- dying I tell you. XDDDDDDDDDDDD

I'd hand you a popsicle for your troubles but we might have an ocean or so between us; so... have a popsicle from me in spirit? ;))))

i love popsicles so thank you☺️

(my tags on this post for y’all’s reference:)

also i forgot to add: scully bringing an overnight bag to mulder’s place in three words… i always just assumed it was full of mulder’s stuff but then someone pointed out to me a while back that all his stuff is in the apartment already so it must be scully’s stuff which means she’s planning to spend the night… which mulder is completely unfazed and unconcerned by! so subtle i would’ve completely missed it if it hadn’t been pointed out but it’s another piece of evidence that supports your theory😁

[windwenn]

The x files can occasionally be very bad and often kind of average (the 25 episode season doesnt help) but they also made some brilliant television, Beyond the Sea, Ascension and One Breath for example are genuinely fantastic, gorgeous episodes, and the lighting and camera work on that show is often quite incredible even if the script is mid which I adore cause so many shows these days are so blandly directed and lighted

Yes! I've particularly been enjoying the practical effects and the visuals in general (all those backlit forest scenes at night?? Stunning), but the episodes with a big character focus like the ones you listed really stand out to me. Irresistable is the most recent episode i've watched which really impressed me in that way, i thought it was a nice look at scully as a character in general, and as a continuation of her views on life and death established previously (in One Breath i think). Some of the more creature feature type episodes are SUPER cool when they stick to one track and dont overcomplicate too much - Die Hand Die Verletzt was pretty stylish imo and the plot was solid 😌 classic ghost story vibes

[harmonicabisexuals]

"three words" is another episode where i feel like everyone goes on and on about how horrible mulder is in it but i feel like it really wasn't that bad?? sure things are a bit awkward between him and scully, and he's clearly trying to hide how traumatized he is with stupid little jokes like "you act like you're surprised" but that is very true to his character like ofc he would act like that!! if anything the fact that he tries to put on a brave face for scully and has a territorial pissing match with doggett for no good reason (lmao) shows that he ~isn't~ trying to distance himself from her...you can also see it whenever he looks at her like it's so clear how much he still loves and cares about her

[randomfoggytiger]

"Proving" Mulder Knew He Was the Father of Scully's Baby

(Had to get this out before the next part of Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma series; so... here we go~!)

Mulder knew he was the father of Scully's baby before Three Words began; and his reticence had everything to do with his PTSD, guilt, and fear and nothing to do with feeling replaced by his partner's child. His ending monologue in Existence further proves this, concluding Mulder's emotional turbulence: "I think what we feared were the possibilities. The truth we both knew."

But how is that to be proven?

Cutting Out Context to Bait the Mystery

According to the script (uploaded here by @x-files-scripts, thank you~), Scully very casually mentions how far along she is separate from her concerns about (and to) Mulder. Mulder doesn't react to this information at all, meaning whatever his reticence and withdrawal were rooted in had nothing to do with feeling replaced as the father of her child.

Throughout their conversation, Mulder tries to keep Scully from digging deeper into his emotions or trauma, deflecting with humor or emotional separation. Scully finally directly addresses his distance; and (though a bit out-of-order from how it aired), the scene below makes two things very obvious:

SCULLY: Mulder --

MULDER: (cutting her off) -- whatever you're going to say, Scully, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold. Or ungrateful to you.

SCULLY: I don't know if you can truly understand what it was like.... And now to get you back....

MULDER manages a smile, finally. But only barely.

MULDER: You act like you're surprised.

Scully manages a chuckle, but she's truly worried about him.

SCULLY: I prayed so many nights. And my prayers were answered, Mulder.

MULDER: In more ways than one.

MULDER looks to Scully's stomach. Which she touches.

SCULLY: Yes.

MULDER: I'm so truly happy for you. I know what it means to you --

SCULLY: Mulder --

MULDER: (cuts her off again) -- but I'm having trouble processing any of this. I don't know why I'm here, or where I fit in anymore. I feel strange. Like this can't be happening.

SCULLY nods. Anything she had wanted to tell him will wait.

SCULLY: That's what I've been saying to myself for the last eight months.

What Scully "had wanted to tell him" had nothing to do with her child's paternity nor was that even a concern because she, as mentioned above, says "the last eight months" effortlessly. (An important note: because they kept no show bible, the writers forgot Mulder was missing three months and buried another three; but the intent behind that line is the same even if there isn't or wasn't a numbers problem to quibble over.)

"The last eight months" comes at the tail end of the conversation without a remark or quip from Mulder's perspective, meaning this wasn't news enough for him to comment on or even react to. Scully's statement bookended their discussion, meaning she wasn't drawing it out longer or forcing information down Mulder's throat that he wasn't ready to process. Since that is the case, both knew the problem wasn't her pregnancy (though it was a stressful factor) but was another, bigger concern.

Devil's advocate: Scully was trying to tell Mulder the baby was his-- Gillian Anderson's expressions debunk this theory, but we'll press on-- and the months referred to was how long Mulder was "gone": in which case, Scully being hugely pregnant would have been a huge tip off for her partner regardless; and Mulder, for as much as he is avoiding the obvious this episode, is not stupid.

By cutting up the script-- taking out important context and removing crucial lines-- the audience is left to speculate on information that what was intended to be understated yet obvious (though unconfirmed until the finale episodes.) Chris Carter and Spotnitz have already stated they'd baited Scully's pregnancy as much as they could (one such interview here, credit to @babygirlmulder1018 for the upload~) while always planning for Mulder to be the father. The problem with their method is that they sacrificed necessary clarity for ambiguity, leaving the actors to scramble or fill in the butchered gaps as much as they could with implied body language. Three Words Mulder's affectionate, though fleeting, glances at Scully's belly or Scully's heightening worry for his well-being are debatable clues, all dependent on the viewer's interpretation (even when rewatched with hindsight.) The key to any good mystery is to have all the puzzle pieces in place so that it makes sense when you go back and see them all line up. Cutting out important clues early just to bait the mystery is foolhardy, especially when those gaps are never filled-in with any answers; and The X-Files show, while built around unsolved or unresolved mysteries, always provided a likely explanation (even if that explanation was later revealed to not be entirely true.) It's a shame that this premediated action thoughtlessly skewed the reading of the scene so badly that it took away from its original intent-- Scully's worries over her partner as he becomes more and more lost in his trauma-- and turned it widely into a "bet he's jealous or feels left behind because Scully moved on without him" interpretation, muddying it for viewers over the decades to come.

It's not the first time a script has been stripped of its original intent to fit the vision of the showrunners (often to the frustration to the various writers, actors, directors, etc.); but there is a marked difference between the tampering done to, for example, David Duchovny's personal ideas and scripts in keeping with the mythos of the show (Cinefantastique: David Duchovny on "The Unnatural" and "Hollywood A.D.") and specifically removing an important piece of dialogue to intentionally blur a scene for "the mystery" without that action serving any goal other than obfuscation... and, ultimately, confusion.

Mulder Himself Proves He Knew

According to the script, Scully's concerns started in her partner's hospital room when Mulder's non-reaction snags her notice twice in a row:

"His reaction is so underwhelming that Scully has to laugh" and

"The doctor has to chuckle, looking to Scully. But Scully isn't humored now. She reads something in Mulder past the humor. And Mulder catches her sensing it. That he is deeply troubled."

"Mulder catches her sensing it" is a crucial piece of information, smoothly setting up the scene at his apartment-- Mulder doesn't ice Scully out (always responding to her pleas with mustered up but equal sympathy and sorrow) but he avoids her eyes as much as possible, not wanting to be read, to be "exposed." THAT is what concerns Scully-- never before in their partnership has he evaded eye contact, likely seeking it more often than any other person on the planet. But Mulder (also likely more than anyone) knows that eyes are the window to the soul; and he doesn't want his bared yet.

The tricky part of the ensuing scenes is not to mistake his avoidance of Scully's detection with his avoidance of the baby. Mulder is avoiding everything equally-- but he will still spare a moment for his partner or his baby here and there before snatching away his focus again, dodging any opportunity that might lead to vulnerability.

At his apartment, Mulder turns aside whenever he can or spreads a plaster-fake grin on his face when in conversation;

but it melts into sincerity after he finally acknowledges the baby in the room. It's not quite happiness, but it is a form of contentment and a little pride (similar to his look on the couch in Empedocles.)

When Scully wants to commit anarchy over Kersh's tyrannical terms, Mulder squashes that impulse flat, sparing a strained but still sincere smile as he directs her attention to the pragmatic fact of her baby.

(It's not until "Agent Who?" comes across Mulder's radar that he starts to stiffen against Scully's reticence. Again, not about the baby.)

The last significant mention of Scully's pregnancy is in her kitchen at her apartment. TLG drop in to do their research... and to refocus Mulder on his impending miracle ("a certain blessed event") and away from his crazy mission. Mulder's amused at first with their commentary (as is Scully), giving an exaggeratedly suspicious, comedic squint (which Scully follows up with a witty repartee on his investigative methods)--

until he figures out his partner's ulterior machinations. (The tensions that trail them both the rest of the episode are because of Scully's interferences and not-- again-- because of the baby.)

Those are the only direct references to the baby in Three Words, although Scully does tag along on his madcap mission with TLG); and Empedocles starts out in the spirit of the kitchen scene above-- Mulder squinting about the pizza man, ribbing Scully lightly, and enjoying getting ribbed in return-- but with the added bonus of some unfiltered, heartfelt moments of a man fully embracing fatherhood.

So why, if the original intent of the struggle of Three Words wasn't about the paternity question, does Mulder still struggle with doubts the rest of the series. Well... what were his paternity doubts?

Paternity Doubts

Mulder knew (logically) that his partner wouldn't run into the arms of another man or through the doors of the nearest IVF clinic just because he was chucked six feet under; but that reassurance gave him nothing to stand firmly on since both of their lives revolved around clones, aliens, and even a little girl that was born (and died) to serve an agenda.

Scully had been used over and over against her consent and was ultimately stripped of her fertility; and even though Mulder once said "never give up on a miracle", the IVF had failed, and there had been months of regular extracurricular activities since without even a thought of a baby on either of their radars. But somehow, the minute he vanishes off the planet, she finds out she's pregnant? The exact same somehow he was abducted and somehow returned and somehow resurrected? It doesn't add up; and Mulder's motto has always been "I want to believe."

"I have the same doubts you do, Scully," he said in the Pilot; and those doubts haunt him in Three Words; and (although they are temporarily set aside during the off-screen conversation Mulder has with his partner before Empedocles) they remain, along with his fears, buried under the surface-- as demonstrated by his opening monologue in Essence: "Is it the product of a union? Or... an answer to prayer-- a true miracle? Or is it a wonder of technology, the intervention of other hands? What do I tell this child about to be born? What do I tell Scully? What do I tell myself?"

Furthermore, the events of Essence and Existence make a bit (only a bit) more sense if those events-- Zeus Genetics, Billy Miles, Lizzie Gill, Krycek, the Super soldiers, and other such nonsense-- are put through another lens: trauma.

The Other, Bigger Concern

If Mulder knew the baby was his, why did he distance himself?

Simply put, PTSD.

Three Words very specifically chooses Mulder's flashbacks as his first scene (post here), providing motive to any future decision he makes. Being torn apart for three months and buried another three before being resurrected on a chance is a lot to grapple with; add in a pregnant partner who is clearly expecting a miraculous baby amidst a set of tragically unmiraculous events and looking to her recently resurrected partner for not only their old relationship but more and you get a PTSD-riddled, paranoid, and very panicked Fox Mulder.

Empedocles begins after the aforementioned off-screen conversation; and quite plainly establishes Mulder in his new paternal role, bringing Scully (and the baby) gifts like he has any other significant moment in their relationship (and also because it's no longer acceptable to bring triumphant caveman hunting trophies back to the domestic den.) This episode not only goes out of its way to give him a first-time "feeling his baby move" scene, but further cements Mulder's role by showing him standing sentry outside of Scully's door, doting on her hand and foot back at her apartment, and including their baby nonverbally in Scully's gratitude speech. These benchmark moments are then followed up by him briefly forgetting his baby in Vienen, not wanting to leave its side in Alone, and cycling back to his paternity worries in Essence-- further proof that his initial distance and on-again-off-again dance is rooted firmly in trauma rearing its ugly head to continually mess up his temporary peace.

That trauma follows him (mostly unacknowledged) the rest of Season 8, coming to a head (and exploding) during the events of Essence and Existence. When his security in Scully's science and himself are completely eroded, Mulder is left blindly grappling for any explanation from any nearest and newest source currently in front of him (handing off Scully to his sworn enemy should have been the tip-off point to both she and Skinner, prompting them to put a stop to his spiraling before doing anything else... but I digress.) His hot-and-cold attitude is back (referring to their child as "your baby") even though his fiercely protective love and interest hasn't faded one bit ("will do anything to protect it.")

Deep down, Mulder always knew (or at least hoped) the baby was his-- "the truth we both know," after all.

So, What Does This Mean?

Probably nothing in the grand scheme of things, but a rippling domino effect in the minutiae. It explains Mulder's distant-then-doting attitude, the manifestation of his PTSD and impending parenthood, and even why he was happy to have Scully firmly glued by his side throughout Three Words (even if he couldn't meet her eyes at times.) Scully's pregnancy was a change for both: almost overnight she needed more from their relationship. However, once she realized how displaced and harried Mulder was, Scully relaxed the pace for both of them (off-screen...), allowing Mulder to finally recover, regroup, and continue on. Once that understanding was reached (again: off-screen), Mulder started to take his journey more gently (upsetting and resettling himself whenever Scully's health scares or his impulsive actions blasted him up, down, and sideways) while Scully refigured how to fit their new normal into the life she built in his absence. Like always, teamwork and their unspoken; and, overall, it makes Season 8's there-and-gone-again MSR bits that much more in-character and enjoyable.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[thexfilesbracket]

Humbug - The agents search for a killer in a Florida town inhabited by sideshow performers.

Three Words - Mulder requests reassignment to the X-Files but is denied by Kersh. When a man with information about an alien invasion is killed on the White House lawn, Mulder conducts his own investigation to find further evidence of colonization.

[actual-changeling]

I've been rotating this scene in my head for like three weeks now, send help. There's a continuously expanding fic I'm writing and this is a warm-up stream of consciousness. thing. I guess.

If there's one thing I know how to write it's overly emotional mental breakdowns.

tagging @today-in-fic (side note: would people be interested in a general tag list for my txf writing? i did it for GO until the fandom got. bad.)

And they're changing and still looking at each other, thinking, is this who I want you to become? Is this how you see me? Is this the 'you' I shaped without knowing I was taking the knife to your face?

There are no apologies spoken, but they both know they're sorry. They both know they're forgiven, and that was never the question to begin with. If there's one thing they never have to ask for, it's forgiveness.

Every single time she takes his hand, she wonders if their fingers will always fit together the way they do now. If it's enough to squeeze them until it hurts and then find more pain in the letting go than the holding on.

You don't need me. You never have, and he never did, did he? I've just held you back.

Scully cannot decide what's worse—being needed and becoming expendable or never having been as important as the blood rushing through his veins, after all. Mulder is the oxygen in hers, indispensable, vital, the reason the world has yet to suffocate her as it reaches for her with its greedy claws and sharpened teeth.

I loved you, she wants to say, and then corrects herself before the words can spill. They built a home out of misplaced guilt and fear of loneliness, and yet she wouldn't change a day—she likes to think that neither would he.

I want to love you. I still love you. I love you. 

She knows she might never tell him. Maybe she will, maybe it will be a goodbye instead of a long-overdue confession. Maybe he will kiss it off her lips and lick it out of her mouth. Maybe she will take what could have been to the grave.

I don't need you to love me back.

Maybe her words will grow roots and bury themselves in the soil of their relationship, maybe they will grow and morph into something entirely unrecognisable; maybe Mulder will dig them up one day and read them back to her.

I just need you to keep looking at me and make me believe that you need me. That you have always needed me and always will.

When did they turn themselves into a game? When did she start feeling lonely with his palm pressed to her lower back? When did he stop believing in her? Why does love suddenly feel like surrender on an empty battlefield she thought she had left behind?

One in five billion, he told her, and she believes him even though she knows he is lying. She still believes him when his past catches up with them and takes her place.

She needs to believe him, or she's going to turn around and walk away.

She might anyway.

She will never ask, but she knows he would never forgive her if she did, not really. Not in a way that would bridge the gap opening between them as they drift further and further apart, and she believes him and he believes her, and she doesn't recognise either of them anymore.

There's a stranger in her bathroom mirror smeared with soot asking, who is this person you no longer need? Because it isn't me. It can't be her.

Everything smells like him, and her body is aching for more, for his arms wrapped around her as she tries to keep him from breaking within her embrace. For his hand on her lower back and the loneliness it brings. 

Mulder will gift her his anger, and she will take it because anger means there is still something left. Anger presses a gun into her hands and tells her to keep fighting.

Anything, anything at all, and she will take it.

I burned a long time ago, and now you've finally grown tired of playing with the ashes.

[fine-nephrit]

🥏 TXF Fic Rec #21: "Calculated Risk" by Sarie Fairy

Sarie Fairy (@sarie-fairy) does a great job turning on the heat in this spicy, fervent MSR first-time story. Following the high emotions of episode 7x02, “Amor Fati,” what’s a better way for our agents to blow off steam than a drunk and frenzied smutting session in a public bathroom?

What I liked most though, is their conversation in the bar leading up to the deed. Long repressed feelings come out to play, and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I never get tired of post-“Never Again” angst. Their discussion about Ed Jerse, finally happening after three years, is particularly well-handled and unfolds exactly as it should.

---

🥏 on Ao3

length: short, 11,000+ words season: season 7, 7x02 Amor Fati, mentions of 4x13 Never Again pairing(s): M/S First-time tags: episode-related, smut, angst, jealousy, Diana Fowley, Scully-POV rating: explicit/NC-17

[x-files-scripts]

The X-Files - “Three Words”

Written by Chris Carter & Frank Spotnitz

April 3, 2001 (GOLD)

Mulder meets John Doggett for the first time...

Mulder cuffs himself to the desk in this draft...

Extended ending details Mulder and Doggett’s escape...

[gingerteaonthetardis]

wanna prompt me? go for it! my ask box is currently open.

what i will write for:

DW: timepetals in all* forms (nuwho and classic); doctorjackrose; rose x any companions who give off even an ounce of gay energy (bill, ace, charley, martha, clara, donna, idgaf i will write it); charleightrose (iykyk)

DWxTTOI: malcolm tucker x rose tyler (let's face it, none of you know what i'm on about with this one. but i live in hope.)

BTVS: spuffy

TXF: msr

TWILIGHT: bella x jacob; bella x paul; bella x really any of the wolves because tbh the cullens don't exist to me; bella x jessica

ORIGINAL STUFF: ???? (i will literally just spitball about the high context shit that lives rent free in my head. werewolf polycules, bisexuals in the underworld, regency dramas, girls who accidentally made god fall in love with them... like, it will truly just be Whatever I'm Thinking About Today. no idea why you'd want that, but it's an option.)

*with one exception—i do not currently take tentoorose prompts, as i've done a lot of them in the past and am honestly just burnt out. sorry, guys.

do i accept nsfw prompts? yes! if you want your fill to be nsfw, please be sure to include that in the ask! (if you specifically ask for something that is a squick or trigger for me, i might have to pass and i'll let you know, no hard feelings.)

do i write quickly? no! please be patient, i do this in my free time.

how long will the prompt fill be? depends on a variety of factors! how i'm doing mentally/physically, how much time i have, what i want the fic structure to be, how inspiring the prompt is... safe answer is more than 1k words, but less than 5k. (unless i go buck wild for some reason. it's happened before.)

do i only write shippy stuff? no! i accept prompts for platonic dynamics, though usually not for characters i write as a couple. (for example: platonic doctorrose would be... challenging for me and i'd prefer to write something else, but platonic rose and mickey? other friendships, canon or fanon? i can do!)

"i have a really specific prompt in mind, not something from the prompt lists you've shared. will you accept it?" if it's about the characters we both know and love, probably, yeah! send it and see!

"i have absolutely nothing in mind, but still want to prompt you...?" that's totally fine! here are some prompts for your perusal:

three words + a character/pairing

august prompts

october one word writing challenge

doctor x rose christmas prompts

a hundred assorted prompts

physical affection prompts

two characters + a prompt

blossoming romance prompts

"accidentally turned on" otp prompts

"i want to ask for a pairing/character you didn't include, though." for now, please don't (unless you are a treasured mutual and we've discussed this beforehand). there are plenty of wonderful writers in the world who might be better able to give you what you want!

finally, to read past prompts or other fics, check out my AO3! (there's no spuffy there, alas. but i'm trying to fix that...)

[agent-troi]

Saw your tags-- interesting!

I've plopped myself firmly on the side of "Mulder knew the baby was his before Three Words even started" (kind of the reason I started the Alien Baby Baby Trauma series); but since I don't have any proof except a @x-files-scripts script and the chaotic energy of that one meme guy with his conspiracy boards and no sleep, I can't pinpoint any specific moment to prove my case. And, sadly, that one moment that "proves it" was cut from the final scene for maximum drama, uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, pip pip cheerio; and I clink my sophisticated and not at alllllll out of sorts teacup to yours in salutations. ;))))

the whole “who’s the daddy” game confused the shit out of me to the extent that while I knew William was Mulder’s kid bc I had accidentally spoiled myself on some revival stuff, in-universe I thought the characters genuinely had no idea where he came from. obviously everyone assumed he was Mulder’s but I thought there was considerable doubt on Mulder and Scully’s parts as to whether he was part Mulder or part alien (because why wouldn’t she just tell him, if he really didn’t know? I guess that’s an argument for the idea that he knew, the reasoning being that they didn’t talk about it because they already knew). I feel like the difference between Mulder’s behavior in three words and empedocles indicates that there was still doubt at least on his end, and then something happened or Scully said something that made him realize the truth.

anyway tl;dr: JUST SAY THINGS SO PEOPLE DON’T GET CONFUSED FOR GOD’S SAKE

also i’m very hungry so my thinking faculties aren’t at their best rn lol