My purpose and singular mission in life is to make sure queer and/or neurodivergent kids know that sometimes it really is their parents who are stupid and other adults are on their side. This, unfortunately, does not make me popular with their parents. Gonnae keep doing it though.
Sometimes I have the most in depth nuanced desires and fantasies about what I want to do with her... Sometimes all I can think about is making out while we smile so hard it hurts our cheeks
Actually, while I’m already on the “Mito doesn’t have a canonical personality, I can write her however I please, and if I wanna make her a barn girl I fucking can” topic:
Hashirama meets Mito in the hustle and bustle of Uzushio’s market while he’s on a diplomatic mission and Mito draws his attention by being the loudest of all, currently arguing with a trader over his prices for the textiles, so close to starting a fist fight with a civilian. This scoundrel, does he think her dumb?! Does he think she doesn’t know the quality ain’t worth shit?! She’s going to bring these textiles she could use to wipe her ass with at most over to his mother and tell her the outrageous prices he tries to sell them, let’s see what his mommy would think when she finds out what a swindler her son in truth is!
Hashirama falls in love immediately. Has the wedding already planned out. It’s going to be a spring wedding, because of course it is. He only needs to talk to her now—which he does. He walks over, hearts in his eyes, and makes a bouquet for her with his mokuton.
Unfortunately for him, she doesn’t realize that’s the Hokage, so she just gives him a lookover once before calling him a fuckin’ hippie and walking away. Hashirama is even more smitten. Luckily, he’s staying for a whole week and Mito just happens to be one of Uzushio’s greatest seal masters, so he gets to see her at the main estate anyway.
Ultimately, he wins her over by showing her the cool poisonous shit he can create. The Forest of Death in Konoha might or might be a (failed) experiment of Hashirama’s mokuton mixed with Mito’s seals trying to see if she can enhance the effects but that’s a story for another time.