#ugh. fandom morals make my head fucking hurt

[hiemaldesirae]

one of the major problems i find with online discourse about antagonistic characters and storylines sourcing from novels is that some people cant see past what is said to what is meant- and that other people can, but in their perception of the implied lore, make overdue assumptions of plot and character.

for example: in svsss, it is heavily implied that qiu jianluo s/a'ed the original shen qingqiu, thus shaping his outlook on society in general: females are safe, males are not. this leads to point against him in the form of his favouritism for ning yingying, the only (afaik) female qing jing disciple and his habit of finding comfort in brothels. this is misconstrued by the original protagonist in the novel pidw, leading to a false misconception held by our protagonist, shen yuan, that shen qingqiu is a lecherous paedophile.

as the reader, there are a number of context clues given to tell us how that is not the case-- mostly found in the extras-- and are meant to challenge the worldview, make us realize that like shen yuan, we as the audience only know as much as the author will tell us. did shen jiu hate luo binghe specifically because his name reminded him of qiu jianluo? was he jealous of the potential luo binghe had? or was he merely looking for a target to take his anger out on?

it is not mentioned, therefore we do not know, and should not make assumptions on the canon behaviour of this character towards someone else.

however, this is often not understood by the overall fandom: either they completely look past the context clues that tell us, this character is more than they seem and instead jump straight to demonization without first considering context and setting, or they overcompensate for someone by making excuses to justify behaviour we do not have explanations for.

this is the reason why we have people who constantly demean and bully others in fandom: they cannot read or think for themselves past what is clearly shown to them and refuse to challenge the idea that the author may be deliberately feeding unreliable information to make a more interesting story, and it doesnt help that there are people attempting to justify behaviour that is specifically written to be bad.

[monday-headache]

Hey Simon! Thank you for the amazing ask <3 Right back at you:

I love that you're writing/arting about characters that have never met in canon (Gaige and Sasha, Fiona and Scarlett). What drew you to writing these characters together? And are there any more that you'd love to explore one day? :D

Hey Sarah, glad it made you smile. I want to have more interaction with the fandom so I’ll try to make this a regular, so please be free to send me questions whenever. I’d love to read your thoughts ;)

And Omg, that’s a fantastic question as well but, be aware, this is gonna be an essay as well.

Mhh where to start, where to start.

So first things first, My headcanon of why I think Gaige and Sasha would be best friends started a pretty long while ago, way before I even got gently pushed towards the Idea of really starting to write about it in the first place. Because you must know, even though Strays is my first longshot, it is also my very first fanfc I’ve ever written in like ever. So no matter how shitty, great or whatever it will turn out to be or how well others will be, Strays has and will always have a special place in my heart. And I’m not gonna rush things either, even when the fandom will die out, my Ideas for it will flow ;)

But yeah how it started. To put it simply Gaige was my first character In Borderlands ever that I played myself. I knew about the Lore of 1 and I’ve played 1 with a friend by the time it came out, but I played 1 myself AFTER I finished 2 So that may be a big reason, why I have such an open spot for Gaige. But also because she is fun, quirky extreme, punky, loves robots and tech... to put it simple a lot of traits I really love about a character. Her backstory with the science fair was so fresh and funny, and it may be one of my favorite spoken dialogue interactions heard over echo cassette’s

Then after Bl2 my love for Borderlands continued, played 1, played TPS and then... There was Tales, and by god do I loved Tales, and I hella still do. You probably know the feeling yourself. And with the love for the game, came a huge love for it’s cast. Like seriously I think besides Tector there isn’t really a character where I was going like, “ugh this one is trash” on the contrary. And besides my obvious love for the main 2 characters, there was a big love for the Deutagonist’s of this masterpiece. Namely Sasha and Loaderbot.

Loaderbot may have officially taken the spot for me as most favorite Robot in video game history ever (and Gortys for the most precious character ever). Like his whole segment of kidnapping them, forcing them to tell the truth, only to show how much he had grieved, how betrayed he felt and that he did all of tha  for his loved ones. Man say what you will about him, but damn he was written perfectly. I was blown away.

Secondly is of course, as you might have guessed it Sasha. I could go lengths for her too, how much I love and admire her character, how real she felt as a sister, a pandoran and last but not least as a human. Sasha felt to me like the most well rounded out character of the 6 (pls don’t hate me for it guys) From the punk rebellious attitude, to learning that she had an anti Hyperion pirate radio, that she used to broadcast bad things that happens in her neighbourhood, to her adapting her morals and learn that even in the most corrupt organisations there are still normal people struggling with their own life, and then progressing from it. And lastly after everything was at loss, the money the plan, she was willing to sacrifice her whole life for a dear friend/s, even on her dying breath putting both Rhys and her Sister at ease and in her last moments. Amazing.

Oooh boy and that was just the prelude to it all XD

After that I noticed a lot of similarities, between characters. Sasha and Loaderbot for instance are both pragmatic, put the lives of their loved ones over their own, love tech, are socially open people while holding back on information and emotion. Not to mention the scenes in 2 and 3 and also 4 and 5 where it is slightly hinted how well Sasha and Loaderbot work together, without sharing much words. So naturally the Idea was born that Sash and LB became quite close.

And the same goes for Sasha and Gaige. I was actually surprised that nobody (not entirely true, I saw one fanart of it) seemed to made that connection before as it was so obvious to me. So basically Sasha is a softer version of Gaige, in many terms. They both have a big heart for tech and especially guns. They both hosted a small radio broadcast that blew up in their region over night. Both are anarchist’s who spread the word for awareness, how fucked up the company war actually is. Both are not really good at their aim. Both call robots as their closes’t friends. Both share a deep hatred for Handsome Jack and his doings. Both fought a giant ass Vault Monster and nearly died in the process of doing so. Both got screwed up big time and now have a huge bounty on their head... So you see the list goes on, and honestly the more I write them, the more similarities I notice, both hc wise and canon wise. So there more I thought about it, and noticed similarites the more I fell in love with the Idea of them becoming close. And from there the Idea was born, that they probably met on a job ( the most likely scenario in the Borderlands universe). It had to be before BL3 of course, and to be after Tales naturally so that only put one timeline in the focus, Commander Lillith.

To be honest, I didn’t expect everything turning out so big. Like seriously I orifinally planed like 8k words or so. Now I’m dangling on the Idea of having 13 chapters and a big ass finally, a neat wrap up of everything and even a possible epilogue XD Yeah, that wasn’t what I expected either but damn do I love doing it.

Like seriously my headcanons only just gotten bigger and bigger. From a whole nebula system in the galaxy, to regions I created in my own mind for it, to even complex backstorys. Like why Sasha wears a headband, why she loves guns so much, what happened to her and Fi’s parents, why she was raised by her aunt, what does Felix have to do with it, Why Gaige has this kicks of both sudden depression and manical behavior. Why she’s so close to her dad, but her mom wasn’t even mentioned once (but teased), why she wanted to become a wedding planer, and why she is so obsessed with robots and margarita mix. I think one day, this thing will turn into a tabletop game or something XD

So estimated 20k words on my answer later and now we are going for my own created ship Scarleona. Don’t worry, as much as I like to gosh about that too, it wont take as long I prommy.

Scarleona was created in a sudden urge while thinking about what happpend to Fiona while Strays happened. And similar to Gaige and Sasha, Scarleona was born from a dynamic. Especially of those from two Ladybosses with Silvertongue and speech 100XD Fiona and Scarlett may have become my favorite Fiona ship (no offense everybody) because of how well they play off each other. Fiona is a con artist, her whole life she was used to swindle, to play it cool and by ear, go with the flow, and expect the unexpected. So here core idea is that she is manupulating people by LYING to them.

Scarlett on the other hand is similar while also the complete opposite to it. She is backstabby, plays with her charm and most importantly she is dead honest while tricking people. In fact even so honest that people don’t even realised that they got tricked even though she told it several times before. And this dynamic is so fascinating to me. You see, Fiona has almost an answer an action for everything prepared, but the idea that her winning honesty, is mind puzzling to Fiona is so perfect. @michellespenscratchz wrote me a drabble several months ago and I think that line describes it just perfect

“So, let me see if I got this straight,” Fiona tilted her head inquisitively at Captain Scarlett. “You needed these Vault Hunters’ help to find this treasure for you. So you…just asked them?”

“That’s right.” Scarlett nodded, inspecting her hook nonchalantly.

“Even though they knew you wanted it for yourself?” Fiona asked.

“Indeed,” Scarlett replied.

“And they…” Fiona blinked, “…knew you planned on fighting them for it once they had it.”

“Of course they did,” Scarlett shrugged. “I told them as much.”

“You told them?”

“Yes.”

“And they helped you anyway?”

“Precisely.” Scarlett turned her hat against the blistering wind. “I fear I don’t quite grasp what about this is so difficult to grasp, Fiona dear.”

“Huh.” Fiona cast her gaze out across the expanse of Pandoran horizon. “I guess I just gotta–I dunno–rethink my whole life right now.”

So yeah, that was basically it. I kinda diagressed and didn’t want to hurt your eyes more looking at the long ass text, but please if you have some more questions to it, pls hit me. I love to gosh about it <3

And thank you so much <3 This was hella fun

[sweetsassymusic]

The Long Kaz Rant I Told Myself I Wouldn’t Write, But Here We Are

This is probably an unpopular opinion. And I hope it doesn't come across as confrontational or anything because I don't mean it that way. But I've always been super confused by the way Kaz is accepted, basically across the entire fandom, as either morally gray or straight up villainous? He doesn’t really seem like either of those things to me. On a surface level, obviously there are things he’s done that are normally considered evil. He’s stolen, he’s killed, he threatened a child, he gouged out someone’s eye. And that’s all pretty bad, right? But it completely ignores the context given in the books. (More after the cut because this got too long...)

There’s a difference between doing something evil and doing something that’s shocking, “dark,” or difficult to watch.

Before I read the books, I heard fans discuss all the horrible things Kaz does. And the way people talk about him, I was expecting him to be… Feral Kaz – someone who delights in doing horrible things because he’s just so twisted and angry. The author herself even referred to him on her blog as being utterly despicable. Wow! This guy must really go out of his way to hurt innocent people, huh? So when I sat down to actually read it, I was so surprised. Most (if not all?) the killings were done on some level of self-defense. His “murder victims” were actual evil people trying to kill him or someone he loved. And the reason he threatened a child was because the only alternative was killing her – something he would never want to do. You know, because he’s not evil.

I don’t know if I just have very different definitions of these terms than most people? But to me, the idea of Kaz being “utterly despicable” should not even be on the table to begin with (Leigh Bardugo, you good?) and even the idea of him being “morally gray” is questionable.

When I think of a morally good character, I don’t think of someone who never does anything questionable or always perfectly makes the correct choices. I think of someone who is on a mission–either to protect the world, a loved one, or simply pursuing a personal goal–who at least tries to conduct his mission in a way that either does no harm to others, or (when that’s not possible) does as little harm as necessary to get the job done. 

Whereas, when I think of a villainous character, I think of someone who has no regard for others at all. Someone who either relishes in harming the innocent, or pays zero consideration to whether he harms innocents while pursuing his goals (which are usually, in themselves, harmful to innocent people). 

And finally, when I think of a morally gray character, I think of someone directly between these two. Someone who is a little bit evil, a little bit sadistic, but not entirely evil. He’s got a few good points too. Maybe he’s someone who keeps switching sides, unsure if he wants to be a hero or villain. Maybe he has hurt a lot of innocent people unnecessarily, but he joins in with the good guys for personal gain, and people don’t mind him there simply because he doesn’t interfere with the protagonist’s goals. Or maybe he’s the “Bad Cop” to someone else’s Good Cop: someone who uses more violence than is necessary, just for fun, but still helps the good side in some capacity, so everyone chooses to look past it.

Under these definitions, Kaz (to me) seems more like a good character. While pursuing his personal goals, he protects people he loves, and yes, he does do “dark” things. But he doesn’t relish in doing them (despite his reputation in-universe of being a chaotic sadist. His reputation is not accurate; he invented it for his own protection). He does them because he has to. If he can get the job done right without hurting anyone, that’s the route he’ll take. But that option isn’t always available. And he’s not the type to lie down and die just to avoid getting his hands dirty (nor should he, imo). 

Again, maybe I just have a different idea of what constitutes being morally gray. But I always thought it was meant to be a judgment on the choices you make when you actually HAVE a choice? A morally gray character has the choice to be good or evil, and they choose to do both (which one depending on how they feel that day). 

Whereas, if you do something “bad” because circumstances force you to do it–because you or someone you love will die otherwise–that’s pretty much the same as having a gun to your head. You’re not morally gray. You’re doing it under duress. It’s survival, not a reflection of where you stand on moral topics. Like, if you trap a vegan in a room with only a piece of meat, and you leave them there for days, weeks, that person doesn’t suddenly become a “fake vegan” if they eat that meat to avoid literally starving to death. You forced them to do it. When it comes to their moral beliefs, they would still be a vegan if they had the freedom to make that choice. You just put them in a situation where those choices aren’t available to them. Your lack of freedom in a situation shouldn’t define you.

The same can be said for placing a starving, homeless orphan boy alone in the dog-eat-dog world of Ketterdam. The option of being a sweet little law-abiding citizen is not available to him. So is it really fair to define him by something in which he had no choice?

I’ve come across so many GrishaVerse fans who, while sipping on their Starbucks in the comfort of their own home, go “Ugh, Kaz. He’s so DARK, so EVIL!” (Fun fact: while my mom was watching the show, she said Kaz is evil because “he seems to always have a plan.” Oh no! Not PLANS!)  “He must be some kind of monster to be able to do the things he does and still live with himself! I could NEVER do those things!” Well…you’ve never actually had to do those things? Your life has never depended on it? Idk, to me, it’s just a very privileged take. And I’m not trying to make this into a big social issue. It’s not like criticism against a fictional character is anywhere near the same level of importance as the issues marginalized people are facing in real life. I’m just saying, it’s very easy to condemn activity you’ve never been forced to engage in for your own survival.

One of the biggest reasons people have given me for why they think Kaz is evil is that he is “for himself.” Even the author said she thinks Kaz is worse than the Darkling (who, I’ve gotten the impression, she believes to be irredeemable) because the Darkling has communal goals (he wants to bring positive change for other people/the world at large) while Kaz’s goals are just personal (he wants to bring positive change for himself and only himself). And for one? It just isn’t true: many (if not most) of the things Kaz does is either for his Crows or for his late brother; he just disguises it with supposed self-interest for the sake of his reputation. And second? It’s…not actually wrong to have personal goals or to act in self-interest. Bettering your own life is a valid desire. It’s not the same as being selfish. Not everything you do has to be for other people.

(And, tbh, this is something Leigh Bardugo seems to have a problem with in general, not just in this scenario. I could write a whole separate rant about other characters that were demonized in-narrative for engaging in “too much” self-care, and how her unforgivingly black and white morality ruined the Shadow and Bone trilogy for me. Worst of all, she even seemed to imply recently that the only reason real-life antisemitism is wrong is because “the Jews didn’t fight back”? [Like, if they had met her criteria of “fighting back”, would that make antisemitism somewhat justified to her? What? Idek, but she should really clarify.] Basically, she seems to take “non-selfishness” to an extreme. I don’t know her personally, I don’t want to make assumptions, I don’t have anything personal against her, and I’m not trying to get her cancelled or anything, I promise. But please, when you read her books, please don’t accept all her ideas at face value, because there’s some Weird Shit™ in there sometimes.)

Anyway, another reason people say Kaz is bad or morally gray is that he wants revenge. “Revenge is a bad coping mechanism! You should want JUSTICE! Not REVENGE!” And again, this argument is wild to me. I mean, yes, there are situations–especially in real life, modern, western contexts–where revenge is a bad coping mechanism someone has developed, and transforming their anger into a desire for justice is a way for them to overcome that and express their anger in a healthier way. But that’s a very specific scenario. When we’re talking generally, the line between revenge and justice is a lot thinner than people think (and in some scenarios, there is no line at all). 

For example, real life victims and their families often say they can’t wait to see the perpetrator rot in prison, even wishing (sometimes even fantasizing) that the guy gets abused in prison by fellow inmates. For them, justice and revenge are wrapped up together in one big court-issued sentence. And while some people find that disturbing or take issue with it, it’s…generally considered valid outrage? This guy is evil and hurt them, so it’s okay for these people to want him to suffer. And most importantly, these people called the cops instead of taking matters into their own hands, therefore they’re Good, right? They’re good citizens who obey and rely on the established authority, therefore they are handling their anger in an Acceptable™ way?

But in the world of Ketterdam, if someone has victimized you, or is trying to kill you or someone you love, you can’t just call the fucking cops (and let’s be honest, looking at irl cops, it’s a questionable idea here too sometimes). If we’re analyzing Kaz’s outrage and how he handles it, we have to analyze it in the context of where he lives, not where we live. We have options in our lives that Kaz doesn’t have. So we have to ask, what are the most productive steps he could realistically take in his world?

I see activists and bloggers on websites like this, publicly fantasizing about gouging the eyes out of certain politicians and right-wing figureheads. And they would probably do it for real if they could. On Tumblr and Twitter, this is generally considered righteous anger. The politicians are evil, so it’s okay to hurt them, right? That’s how the logic goes, anyway (I know some will disagree, but it’s a common take here). Well, imagine if, instead of just being a bigot, one of these evil people personally stabbed–possibly killed–your girlfriend. And there were no cops to call, no news stations or social media to turn to, to show people what this guy did. No authority or community on your side. No way to ensure this guy faced consequences for his actions. There’s just you, your dying girlfriend, your helplessness, your anger. What would be the appropriate way to handle this situation, so you were acting out of justice instead of revenge? What does “justice” even mean in a world like that? It’s a world where either you hurt others or you lie down and just let others keep hurting those you love (which, in itself, would be evil). I can’t think of any “appropriate” response Kaz could take. Which, for better or worse, is probably why he just went for the eye. You probably would too in that context. Are you morally gray? I doubt it.

It’s really weird to me how people seem to hold Kaz to this high standard of absolute Moral Purity, but they don’t hold other characters to it. Like, was the dad on Taken being “feral” or “morally gray” when he told his daughter’s kidnapper that “I will find you and I will kill you” and then pursued him with fury? His motivations were personal and not communal. He was coming from a place of revenge, just as much as justice. But most people consider him a hero. He’s not controversial or “dark.” There are plenty of other heroes who do terrible things (sometimes to innocent people! Even when it’s not even necessary!) for the “greater good” or just because it’s convenient. People call them a “badass” and then turn around and say Kaz is just “bad.” Idk, it just seems really arbitrary the way people draw these lines.

If we’re expanding the definition of “morally gray” to include anyone who’s ever done anything questionable, made a mistake, been forced to do something they wouldn’t normally do, done something for personal reasons instead of for the world at large, or wanted revenge for something, then there literally are no heroes in fiction (except maybe a few cardboard cutouts) or in real life.

(Ironically, the most morally gray thing Kaz does, imo, is something most people don’t even have a problem with: the fact he runs a gambling house to “take money from pigeons.” And even that is really mild [no one is forcing the “pigeons” to gamble their money away]. But yeah, that’s one of the few instances I could think of where he actually hurt innocent people unnecessarily. That and the time, as a kid, where he stole candy from that other kid...and even that might be mostly-but-not-entirely excused by the fact he was starving to death. But yeah.)

[twilightofthe]

What was your opinion of the Clovis arc? People I know either love it or hate it, no in between. I generally liked it but found it waayyy ooc.

Hey anon, thanks for the ask!!!!

AHSJFLSLALK OK SO UH. Wow. Clovis arc. Yiiiiiiikes ok so. I totally agree with you on the fandom divide and I also totally agree that everyone involved in it is rather OOC for my taste. That being said, that case of OOC is exactly why I personally do not like the arc that much at all.

(Please note that my following words are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and that anyone is free to disagree, in fact I welcome the discussion, and even if this is your favorite arc, please consider yourself welcome on my blog I hold nothing against those who might like it)

Part of me was gonna make a short and sweet point about how I don’t like that TCW has had both of its main female characters have unwanted kisses forced on them, and instead of teaching young girls watching to tell those kinds of people to fuck off and respect their bodies, we get: 1. Just let it happen, you both must kinda like each other anyway or 2. Stay still then sit back while your boyfriend beats him half to death

But actually turns out I wanted to spend all day writing an essay so now you get this. So far I’m gonna hit four points:

the show’s constant need for Vader foreshadowing sometimes tending to completely override Anakin’s current mindset and personality he should have at this point in the timeline as well as his preestablished characterization

the way TCW gave Anakin a giant dosage of toxic masculinity to try and please the pissy movie critics who didn’t like that he cried

the role of Padmé and how TCW tries to portray her as a “strong woman” by just having her constantly be irritated by and sometimes even look like she actively dislikes her husband while simultaneously have her act OOC so they can blame HER and her actions for Anakin’s reactions and anger and overall Fall

How I think this arc is not irredeemable and that with some fixes it could be done decently— decently, not well, because a lot of this arc’s problems are also due to preexisting writing choices throughout the show

(Ok whoops this turned into a half Clovis arc rant half entire TCW Anidala commentary)

So firstly I wanna start that yes, I am fully aware that TCW is meant to fill in the gaps between AOTC and ROTS and help explain why Anakin’s mindset in the final movie is what it is and justify his Fall. Of course we need to show some Vader foreshadowing throughout the series, and in some places it is executed very well, notably the Mortis arc, the Bad Batch arc, the Wrong Jedi arc, as well as others that I can’t cite off the top of my head currently because I might have a mild touch of heat exhaustion wooo I need to get off the beach.

But it also has some rather hamfisted Vader foreshadowing stuff too. Like, y’all know the fandom joke where it’s like “Anakin: *Accidentally Leaves The Toilet Seat Up*. The Background Music: *BLASTS the Imperial March*” but like, they actually really do that. Like the time where they have Anakin take out a terrorist about to blow up an entire ship full of people and then play the Imperial March afterwards and imply he’s a “cold-blooded killer” just to defend the moral purity of the two people who were gonna stand there and let the ship blow in the name of idealism.

I’m getting off topic but yeah, sometimes the show’s Vader foreshadowing makes sense, sometimes it’s pretty forced, and the Clovis arc DEFINITELY leans towards the forced side, and when they try to force more of Darth Vader into Anakin at a point where he shouldn’t quite be there yet, it screws with his entire character.

This is particularly shown in the majority of the show’s takes on Anakin’s relationship with Padmé. Namely, they tend to forget nearly the entirety of AOTC with the exception of the Tusken murder scene, then forget even more of ROTS up until the point where Anakin strangles her on Mustafar. Basically, they take the truth that it was Anakin’s unhealthy attachment to Padmé that sparked his Fall, but then they decide to run with it where almost every single interaction he has with her in the damn show is him being a toxic overbearing dick to her and her acting like she mildly tolerates him at most and definitely doesnt respect him as like, I guess a way of showing what happened on Mustafar is in character for them???? Ugh, I’ll explain further.

So with Anakin’s aggressive possessiveness towards her. We know Anakin has possession and attachment issues. We know he’s a clingy needy whiny anxious mess who’s constantly afraid of losing or driving away the few people he has pinned his entire happiness on. We know he leans unhealthily on Padmé to provide the majority of his emotional support. We know he’s convinced himself he can’t live without her. But never, NEVER is it seen in the movies where his possessiveness turns into outward aggression towards her or this douchey pushiness. Never does he treat her like his property, like she belongs to him.

Not until Mustafar.

Not until he’s raving, half out of his mind with the warring emotions over the atrocities he’s just committed, until he’s begging her to understand where he was coming from, begging her and the child to stay with him and justify his decision, until he sees Obi Wan and sees her backing away from him, leaving him, and he PANICS because oh no no no you can’t abandon me, I need you, doN’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. And he lashes out and tries to force her to stay, punish her for leaving and doubting him, and he puts that hand around her throat.

And that is supposed to be when we know he’s crossed the line, when we’re supposed to be horrified, where we know he’s lost himself, because he has NEVER ACTED LIKE THAT BEFORE.

Now how does Anakin act before? In the movies? He’s deferential to Padmé in almost every other scene they’re in together.

In AOTC, yeah he stares at her a bit creepily from a distance, he says awkward things and does goofy stuff to impress her, but he does Not get in her face. The few times he does invade her space, she flat out tells him: stand back. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t say that. Don’t interrupt me. And Anakin always, always backs off, respects her wishes. He follows her lead and lets her call the shots both on Naboo when he’s supposed to be protecting her and when she organizes the Geonosis rescue and once they arrive where she flat out tells him “I’m a Senator, I’ll handle this, just back me up”, and he’s all but just “ok yes queen”.

But they aren’t married then. Fine, take ROTS. It’s a movie all about Anakin’s issues but even then, when he’s worried about Padmé dying, he tells her he’s worried and that he can’t lose her, but he still keeps a distance. He doesn’t constantly hover and loom over her. If anything, Padmé, both in ROTS and AOTC is always the one to approach Anakin and close the distance when there’s conflict. When Anakin is upset, he averts his eyes and distances himself, tries to draw in on himself and brood silently, and we’ve seen it in Palpatine sometimes (of course with bad motives but he still does), but Obi Wan and Padmé both especially needing to be the ones to come over, turn his face to them and be like “hey, look at me, I care about you, what’s wrong”. Padmé SAYS in ROTS when he’s feeling specifically conflicted about losing Padmé, “don’t shut me out” and has to come over to him because he’s retreated into a corner of the room to scowl angstily out the window. Anakin does NOT get overbearing and possessive of her or get in her face, not once in the films.

In the fucking show? The Clovis arc, while perhaps the worst offender, isn’t even close to being the first time Anakin has been overly pushy and aggressive with Padmé, or acting like she’s something he owns, From that time in the Senate Hostage ep where he’s bugging her about ditching work and all but acting like incels texting like “awww but babe my dick hurts :(”, from the FIRST Clovis disaster ep where he’s childishly trying to screw up Padmé’s mission, to the Clovis arc in season 6

And this is where they just roll right in with their “oh so Anakin’s an overbearing, entitled douche” bit with the interaction he has with Pads and he’s trying to talk her out of taking the Clovis assignment and he says something along the lines of “as your husband, I demand you don’t do this”.

Hwat. The Fuck.

What kind of caveman-esque, 1800’s-ass man of the house whom my wife must obediently serve kinda entitled-ass BULLSHIT?!?!?!?

Like, I’m sorry, I really am, but that is just completely out of left field and not like Anakin at all. I mean to the point that when he’s an evil Sith Lord trying to talk her into taking over the galaxy with him, EVEN THEN he does not include “Padmé you must join me because I’m your husband and you do as I say” sort of domineering assholerly.

Anakin does not push Padmé around. He does not TRY to assert authority over her or try and force her to do shit. Not only because she doesn’t put up with that kinda shit for a second, but because Anakin respects Padmé; he will treat her with respect. He always has, and sometimes like in this arc it really doesn’t feel like he does.

Now of course Padmé’s response to the “I own you” declaration is “fuck you, asshole, I do what I want” and doubling down on her decision, and then decides to go even harder on the mission if only to spite her douche husband (and we’ll get to Padmé’s characterization in a bit) which is a very different kind of Anidala conversation we see in the show as opposed to the movies (also discussed later).

Now, the reason for Anakin’s overbearing douchery ties directly into an overarching problem in TCW— honestly, one of the very few issues I have with this show, but the problem is that it touches nearly the entire thing —and that is they almost completely reworked Anakin’s personality to be more hyper-masculine alpha male.

This is a topic I’ve discussed on my blog before, but the gist is that in the movies, Anakin was not the typical male heroic protagonist and DEFINITELY not what people expected from Future Darth Vader The Masked Brutish Male Power Fantasy. He was awkward, he was shy, he was soft spoken, he was clumsy around the girl he liked, he was very openly romantic, he liked frolicking in fields and candlelit dinners and snuggling. Two of the most important people in his life were soft, feminine women and he openly loved them very dearly and very gently— and he deferred to them when he felt it was right, as I’ve mentioned before. He CRIED when he was upset and was messy and emotional. And fanboys hated this with a burning passion. They couldn’t project their power fantasy onto this!!!! The Anakin critics were a HUGE part of the mob who crucified the prequels to the point of chasing both Anakin actors practically out of the movie industry in general.

The Clone Wars writers were obviously petrified of this happening again. So their solution, as has always been Star Wars’s solution to hateful fans being upset about an innocent character, is to completely rework them, hide or retcon all the undesirable qualities, and act like everything was all fixed. Now don’t get me wrong, there are aspects of TCW Anakin that I adore. As I’ve also mentioned before, they got his humor, his cleverness, his eagerness to do the right thing, to help people, his relationship with Obi Wan and Ahsoka and his men, they got that all perfectly. But the rest??? TCW’s solution to the criticism of Movie!Anakin was to turn him into an agressive, dominant, violent shadow of everything “soft” he was in the movie

Now, he speaks loudly and more deeply. Now, he’s cocky and overconfident and while yes he was arrogant in the movies, now it’s dialed up to like an 11. He never cries, never even THINKS to show a negative emotion that’s not Manly Rage And Aggression(TM). And then there’s the way he is around the women in his life. No more awkwardness or shyness, now he makes jokes about being a “ladies man” and does whatever the fuck flirting he does with Miraj Scintel even though the Anakin from the movies would have needed like every scrap of his self control just to look at her without insta-murdering her face. And then there’s how he is with Ahsoka and Padmé. He is muuuuch more of a loud brash dudebro around them who pushes his weight and is kind of controlling and their solution is just to have the both of them be Strong Women(TM) who Fight Back whenever he tries it too hard with them.

With Ahsoka, it’s not too bad because it’s a brand new dynamic and she’s a rather agressive firecracker personality herself when we first meet her, so the constant Snips n’ Skyguy snipefest works for them. For Padmé? It just means that in far too many episodes they’re in there’s a point where Anakin says something Eh and Padmé gets mildly irritated to actually annoyed with him for it and she’ll talk down to him and then there’s an argument between them because he’s bullheaded and she’s a Strong Woman. Why do I consider these out of character?

In the movies, despite the flaws, Anidala is a couple who actually tries to communicate. Anakin feels open to speak about his troubles to Padmé and her to him (for the most part, she definitely has a savior complex and a tendency to squash her own shit so she can help deal with both Anakin’s and the galaxy’s at large) when they’re worried or concerned about something and they want to talk it out, so they’ll talk it out!

The problem with Anidala isn’t that they don’t communicate, it’s that they try but also only do it by halves because they hate fighting. They’ll talk, Anakin will say something that Padmé might disagree with— the fascism discussion in the Naboo field in AOTC, the question of whether the Republic is just or not in TPM —and she’ll try and correct him if she feels he’ll listen, but if he doubles down, she’ll go “ok you know what, agree to disagree, let’s not fight” and she subtly changes the subject because she hates fighting with him. If Pads says something Ani doesn’t like— telling Obi Wan about them in ROTS, some emotional advice she tries to give in both movies —he’ll flat out shut down and be like “I don’t want to talk about this, let’s drop it” and then seek out cuddles or affection as a distraction.

And that brings us back to the Clovis arc. The scene where the “as your husband” line occurs. Anakin is trying to talk Padmé out of doing this not because he’s jealous. Maybe he was jealous the first time he met Clovis and saw Padmé being all cute n’ fond with her old flame, but this time it seems almost entirely because last time ended in catastrophe and he’s genuinely worried for Padmé and feels she’s not thinking wisely, that she’s putting herself in danger.

However, Anakin is deciding to voice these concerns in Possessive Dudebro Pushing because of the aforementioned misguided Vader Foreshadowing and Toxic Masculinity. Padmé? Is not even CONSIDERING what he has to say, is just breezing on through and shutting him down at every turn and generally acting like he’s a dumbass who doesn’t have a clue about anything.

Now, it is very in character for Padmé Amidala to be all “I’m right, you’re wrong, fuck you don’t get in my way”. HOWEVER, they aren’t framing this as solely Padmé having a goal and bulldozing her way through the situation. That’s not how they frame this.

They frame this as: Padmé is embarrassed that she misjudged the situation wrong the last time and embarrassed even further that Anakin had to step in and get her out of trouble— which he brings up —and probably remembers that he made fun of her while he did it—

(Timing out to say that THAT scene was also OOC; they once more wanted a Vader parallel what with Anakin’s silhouette when he opens her cell door and the way Padmé’s sleeping pose is identical to Leia’s in ANH. But Anakin basically steps in and gives her this condescending-ass “awww the little wife’s gotten in over her head like I SAID she would, good thing I’m here to rescue her!” bit that’s really just MEAN. It’s not like him and Obi Wan’s/Ahsoka’s teasing snark whenever they have to pull each out of trouble, he’s just kicking her while she’s already down. Really, Anakin’s reaction should have been a lot less humorous and a lot more pissy; she didn’t listen to him, didn’t trust him, and ended up in danger because of it. It’d be a surly and upset “I told you so”, not an amused one.)

—and now it seems much more like Padmé is solely taking this assignment to spite Anakin for being a dick and to pettily prove that she knows what she’s doing rather than any sense or urge to do the right thing. And....... childish pettiness????? Is not Padmé. And yet, she has the entire immature “don’t tell me what to DO, Anakin” attitude this whole arc that amounts to WAY more than just the normal response she would have to his overcontrolling dickishness

And once again, it’s because she, like everyone else in the episode, seems to think the problem Anakin has is that he’s jealous of Clovis. He’s not, not really. He’s insecure, yes, but he also knows Clovis is a bag of dicks as well, and trusts that Padmé knows she’s better than that. His problem isn’t fears he’ll lose Padmé, it is entirely that Padmé isn’t listening to his concerns, doesn’t trust him, is going into a situation they both know is unwise, and he is frustrated he’s not in a position where he can look out for her since he feels she’s not looking out for herself. And, he’s not entirely wrong. Padmé IS being reckless and kind of irrational solely to prove a point. He just goes about it pretty much entirely the wrong way, which is what you can really say is the cause and effect formula for any problem Anakin Skywalker encounters and subsequently makes worse.

And then there’s That Scene. The one where Clovis tries to force a kiss on Padmé and Anakin freaks and almost kills him for it. I’ll start off by quoting another Tumblr user on that very scene by saying in regards to Clovis: “that bitch deserved that”. The almost murder? Maybe not that far, but the initial hitting for disrespecting someone’s “no”? Yep, that was deserved.

My first criticism is that Anakin shouldn’t have even had time to attack him because why the fuck wasn’t Padmé instantly kneeing him in the balls?!?! Like Padmé is not prone to violence immediately, no, but she can will and does defend herself immediately when she needs to— her right punch knocked someone tf out once when she was pissed —and she already gave him a warning that his advances were not welcomed.

Now, I am absolutely not victim blaming. I am NOT saying it is the fault of a woman (I’d be a hypocrite if I did and that’s all I’ll say on THAT), or of anyone when faced with sexual harassment, if they don’t fight back for whatever reason, no matter how capable of doing so they may be. What I’m saying is that considering her previous behavior and personality and the fact that the show NEVER goes deep enough into explaining heavy stuff like why victims might freeze or NOT fight back when faced with harassment, I feel like showing her not attempting to defend herself at all is kinda strange.

Now, Padmé’s utter passiveness to the situation aside, we’re going back into toxic masculinity and misunderstood interpretations of how Anakin displays possession. While I’ll repeat that Clovis deserved consequences for the forced kiss, Anakin going full caveman defending his property jealous rage just. Doesn’t feel right to me. Again, I think Anakin would probs hit him and put the fear of living god into him, maybe even I’d buy the attempted murder if they framed it as Anakin doing it because he hates those who force their will on others and disrespect women, but the whole that’s MY wife and you’re touching her shite just once more feels alpha male aggressive ridiculousness. Like again, I understand Anakin is possessive of Padmé, but not like this. I’m sorry, but I just cannot see that, him fighting over her like she’s a scrap of meat.

Like, I completely think she’s in the right tho to put them on a break after he does it though. That’s well within her right.

But then onto the FINAL part where after Clovis goofs and fucks them all over and then dies, she forgives him and blames herself for everything and apologizes. And like, that part I do see as in canon and character for her and for Anakin. He doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, her mistakes weigh on her and when she fails to fix or save someone, she falls into depression and upset and self-blame.

But the fact that Clovis died because Anakin dropped him? Anakin Skywalker, who scaled an entire elevator shaft carrying two people over his back who combined probs weighed more than Padmé and Clovis. Anakin Skywalker, who’s used the Force to lift tons of debris, who’s used it to hold back explosions, Anakin Skywalker, MOST POWERFUL FORCE USER IN HISTORY WHO TENDS TO RELY ON BRUTE STRENGTH FOR MOST SHIT ANYWAY. That Anakin couldn’t pull two people over a ledge?!?!?!?!? This has always bothered me.

Like to be honest; I feel this entire episode could have been so fixable too. Like keep Anakin’s obsessive worry over Padmé making a mistake, keep the best part of the arc which is his talk with Obi Wan where Obi Wan tries to connect with him and explain that he’s not alone, all Jedi have emotional struggles and have loved, if perhaps he wants to TALK to someone about it, Obi Wan is here for him, like that? That’s okay!

Just ugh ffs, get rid of the nasty Anakin treating Padmé like a naughty dog who won’t obey him and the Padmé purposely acting unwisely to spite Anakin plot. Have the entire conflict be both of them being upset that the other doesn’t trust them, doesn’t believe in their advice, keep Padmé’s speech about how marriages NEED trust and compromise to survive, take all of Anakin’s aggression towards Padmé and transfer it to aggression towards Clovis, like make the conflict him menacing the guy if he hurts Padmé again just because he’s being overprotective and “if you won’t look out for yourself I will” and Anakin getting constantly checked for not being able to control his emotions, Padmé can tell him off for being overprotective instead of overaggressive and his possessiveness can instead show through him arguing that he needs to keep her safe at all costs. THAT can be the argument.

And if they want the Vader foreshadowing? Like real, in-character Vader foreshadowing??? Tbh, drop the Clovis beatdown, drop the machoness towards Padmé, and just have Anakin blatantly DROP the douchebag at the end of the episode instead of his hand slipping. Make him choose to ACTIVELY kill Clovis. Like THAT, Anakin taking the law into his own hands and deciding that he knows best and this guy is dangerous and has fucked up one too many times, there being an opportunity where there’s an chance to save Clovis when they’re alone without Pads, “be a Jedi, Padmé wouldn’t want this, do the right thing” Clovis might say, and we can see Anakin’s face considering, and then he just “Long Live The King”s him and lets him fall and die, THAT is an in-character Vader foreshadowing.

Then at the end of the episode, we can have Anakin lie to her, say Clovis slipped, say it was too late, and Padmé can believe him, thank him for trying. Then there’s the same thing where Padmé apologizes, and we can have a callback to the convo about trust and she adds that she’s sorry that she didn’t trust him, and when she says that, we zoom in on Anakin’s guilty face.

There. That’s how I’d fix these episodes

And THERE, I think I’ve complained about everything, I am SO sorry for the gigantic ass post and response, I’ll add a read more once I’m on my laptop and not on the beach on mobile.

But yeah anon, I hope that satisfies your question xD

Once again, I welcome discussion if y’all either agree with me or if you have any differing opinions, I know my takes are far from hot for several people and I’m curious to see what others think!

[kenobihater]

Fanfic asks

F G i M N X

😘

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. Chapter 4 of MTB: “E chu ta!” The tween snarls so violently that he makes the man flinch and then get berated by his friends for being scared of a child. Obi-Wan says nothing as the young redhead puts up his hood and holds open the door for him. They immediately walk towards the distant cranes and glowing ship cutters in the scrapyard itself. The silence irks him, something in the Force burrowing under his skin. It’s been building for a while but is so intangible and fleeting that he finds himself glad of his own shielding. “Do you speak Mando’a?” he asks, trying to find something to fill the dead air between them. The kid looks over his shoulder and squints before quickening his pace. “Bits and pieces,” is all he answers. Obi-Wan changes the subject, sensing a sore spot. “What’s your job?” he asks, getting the feeling that he didn’t get injured from working in a greasy spoon. The kid stops in his tracks and whips around. Something jagged and hurting rears its head in the Force. “Why? Why do you care?” he snaps. Obi-Wan holds up his hands. “You remind me of myself at your age, is all. I want to know why you are alone,” he says, trying to keep a calm tone. If he loses the kid now, he loses both his lead, and contact with someone who is starting to look more and more like a live wire in the Force. The child doesn’t speak, but a heavy grief settles over his face and swamps the pair of them. “Everyone died. Now it’s just me. Are you happy, now? Can we continue?” he asks, shuttering himself and his pain off, and Obi-Wan leaves it for now.

I really enjoyed writing Cal as a feral little menace who bristles at practically everything. Dgmw, he's actually a sweetheart, but at first I wanted him to seem rough around the edges, and I feel I did a pretty good job with that.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? That depends. Oneshots I usually write straight through. Multichaps I start at the beginning but inevitably end up bouncing around when inspiration hits. I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? Yes, I occasionally sacrifice my morals and read Marvel fic, but only for Matt Murdock! He's a comfort character of mine, esp cause I like to headcanon him as both trans and bipolar. I really love fics where he's Peter Parker's mentor - that's some quality shit right there. M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share? Multiple, in multiple fandoms! In Witcher, the only fic I have going so far is one where Jaskier finds Ciri after The Mountain Breakup and protects her. Geraskier is endgame, but the focus is on Ciri and Jask. In ATLA, I'm working on an AU where Zuko gets stuck in the spirit world, and the only person who can see him is Sokka - obviously it's a Zukka fic lol. And in SW... I have a lot. Rn the one I've been tossing around for the past few days is a Codywan fic where Obi-Wan can't seem to stay dead. I'm in a spooky mood lol. N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? Ugh, Running From Something Larger Than Yourself. Fuck that fic. I've been wrestling with it since JULY. No clue if/when it'll ever get updated, I'm sorry to say. Also, an Inquisitor!Cal longfic. There aren’t nearly enough of them, last I checked. I started one in January and got maybe 40k in before I realized it was BAD. Maybe one day I’ll write a decent one, who knows? X: A character you enjoy making suffer. Ooh, hard question. Probably Obi-Wan? He experiences so much shit in his life that I feel he handles trauma in really compelling ways. Fox is a really good candidate for angst as well.

Thank you so much for all of the questions! :)

[vicunaburger]

Admittedly, I’m Hard to See

Fandom: Beetlejuice the Musical Chapters: 7/? Pairing: Beetlejuice x OC (Holidae) The Players: Beetlejuice, Lydia Deetz, Holidae Bell Word Count: 1,490 Warnings: M for Language, a little more Violence in this chapter

Notes: DemonPower!Beej needs more attention, I think. Expect him to pop up more often.

Chapter 7: In Which Civility is Attempted

It had been days, and no sign of the resident spectre.

There was still tension between Lydia and Holidae over the whole debacle; spurring random bouts of shouting at one another over the smallest of issues. In all honesty, their anger at each other was beginning to wane, but the lack of Beetlejuice kept Lydia on edge. It was unusual of him to disappear for so long, and there was no sign of him even just… being in the house unseen.

The tension had boiled over at the week-since-the-incident mark, and Lydia decided she needed to get out of the house for a while. She took the car into town, claiming the need for more camera supplies, and left Holidae alone to stew in her own guilt for the afternoon.

Anxiety wormed it’s way into Holidae’s brain; a constant buzzing sensation running through her veins as she paced around the house, looking for any kind of distraction, however inane it might have been. At a loss, she wandered outside onto the garish patio, flopping into one of the lawn chairs set out beside a small table. Thankfully, it was overcast and a cool autumn breeze scattered fallen leaves around the deck. Perfect napping weather, if nothing else.

Holidae had just started to nod off when the chair suddenly dipped down, creaking as it tried to bear the extra weight. Blinking her eyes open, she was nose to nose with the missing ghost, his expression… unreadable from such a close distance. The only clue she had was the purple hue that covered his normally green locks.

“That’s my chair, breather.” Beetlejuice leaned closer, pressing his chest against hers.

Holidae was pinned down in the lawn chair, surprised when it didn’t break under the weight of two full-grown adults. Moving her legs subtly, she realized only half of his weight was balancing on top of her, the rest of him hovering just a few inches above her bottom half. She couldn’t tell if it was more or less intimidating to see him just floating above her.

She poked at his stomach, “Thank you for reminding me I’m an imposition to everyone in this house, but I can’t get up.”

Without a word, he took hold of her by the shoulders, lifting her out of the chair as though she weighed nothing. He carried her up to the top of the full-sized wall facade, keeping her suspended high above the ground. Holidae clutched at his arms for dear life, her nails digging into his sleeves.

“No no no… wait, don’t… don’t….” Holidae’s voice cracked.

“This is the right height to break someone’s neck, right? Or at he very least, break something. I could always just snap it and then drop you just to make sure.” Beetlejuice’s claws ripped into her shirt as he loosened his grip. “Ooooh babydoll it has been a long time since I ended a life. Kinda miss it, you know? Lyds doesn’t really want me to hurt anyone, but since she’s not entirely thrilled about you lately, she won’t mind.”

Holidae was grasping at him, trying to reach around his neck to support herself, “Beetlejuice, please don’t drop me. Just… can’t we just talk? Lydia… she told me everything!”

The ghost casually vanished out of her grip, reappearing on the edge of the wall connected to the decking. Holidae felt herself being suspended in mid-air, invisible hands supporting her as she was caught mid-fall. A wave of nausea made her stomach lurch as she glanced down at the ground below, a soft haze clouding the edges of her vision. One of the transparent limbs was wrapped around her throat, forcing her chin upward to look at him instead of her impending death.

“Everything?” He asked, crossing one leg over the other, “That’s a little vague, isn’t it? Better start clarifying or… I dunno, maybe I’ll just forget to keep you up. Sometimes my attention span isn’t the greatest.”

For emphasis, he snapped his fingers, and Holidae dropped a few inches before being lifted back up. Panting hard, she fought the urge to just faint right then and there, her blood pounding in her ears loud enough to muffle his voice.

It was like the carnival ride from hell.

“She… she told me about the Maitlands.” Holidae was sweating now, the cold air making her shiver. “About how she could see you, a-about her mother, the N-N-Neitherworld… and the marriage that was subsequently followed by your murder.”

Another snap of his fingers and Holidae was perched on the wall next to him. She clutched his arm for fear of falling, pulling it tight against her chest as though she could will him to stay put. The two of them sitting there would have almost painted a rather… romantic picture, if not for the fact he had already made a few attempts on her life in the last five minutes.

Beetlejuice was surprisingly quiet for a long time, absently scratching a spot in the middle of his chest, “...she didn’t have to tell you that.”

“Lyddy just started talking, and I listened.” Holidae could feel her heart rate returning to normal, looking up at him to notice he was still sporting his violet hue. “Speaking of which: please go talk to her when she gets back. She’s miserable and I can’t fix it, but I know you can. Just… anything. Talk about the weather. Or some cool bug you found. Anything.”

“I don’t want to talk to her. She can come talk to me.” His brow was furrowed in frustration, but his hand managed to find its way onto her thigh despite his mood. “Besides, I’m sure you two will patch things up and start gossiping about me during sleepovers or some shit.”

Holidae gave his shin a swift kick, “Asshole. No wonder you two are bestest best friends; you’re both too stubborn for any sane person to tolerate. Suck it up and go make her happy.”

With an annoyed grunt, Beetlejuice dragged the girl up onto his lap, dipping her upper half low as though they were dancing, “Stupid move, kicking someone who is literally holding your life in his hands. Got a death wish or something? Listen, I already went through this suicidal breather routine with Lyds, I really don’t have the capacity to care about anyone else’s problems.”

“Then stop talking about it and just fucking drop me, I’m tired.” She knew it was a risky move, but it he wanted her pulverized on the ground, he wouldn’t have let her keep talking.

At least, she hoped that was the case.

The ghost stared at her for a long time, as if he were trying to see something on her person that would be otherwise hidden from view. She started to blush; but she wasn’t sure if it was from the intense scrutiny, or the blood starting to rush to her head from the angle she was being held. One thing she did note was that his violet coloring was fading away into his normal neon green.

“Alright, alright… dumb humans and your sense of morality.” Beej rolled his eyes, transporting them back to the deck. “Ugh, it gets so old.”

Well, in actuality he was standing on solid ground, but Holidae was being held up in his grasp; just enough to have her feet dangling helplessly in the air. Even though he wasn’t that much taller than she was, it was still enough of a difference to thoroughly annoy the poor woman. To add insult to injury, he started to swing her back and forth like a pendulum, causing her to wrap arms around his neck in reflex.

Her stomach did a little flip; being in such close proximity was making her feel off. It wasn’t the musty smell that hovered around him, as she thought as first. No, that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. And neither was his appearance in general, the longer she stared at him. Even with mold growing in various spots. He was rather attact-

Bad thought train, she mentally scolded herself. Must exit.

“Can you please let me down now? I would really appreciate being able to experience gravity.” Holidae pouted, feeling her cheeks flush hot even though he was noticeably cold to the touch.

He shook his head, sticking out his striped, snake-like tongue, “Pfft, who needs gravity? You’re being held in the arms of the Neitherworld’s number one bachelor. Feel honored, Holly-Berry, do you know how many undead ladies and lads would love to fill those shoes of yours? So many.”

Holidae was about to make a retort, when a suspiciously loud clicking caught both of their attentions at the same time. Lydia was standing in the doorway to the house, camera in one hand as she waved around the newly printed polaroid in the other. Beetlejuice and Holidae glanced at each other, and then back at Lydia as she inspected the photo.

“Damn. That guy at the store lied to me.” Lydia frowned, lining up the picture next to her two still-frozen companions. “Can’t see ghosts with this film.”

Writing Tags: @mr-geuse @paxenera @leiasolo77 @go-commander-kim @ashemspirit

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

Sanders Sides Percy Jackson AU!

SO! @moon-scribs and I have been working on this one for a while and we hope you like it!

BASICS:

Logan is a child of Athena 

Roman is a child of Apollo (The very extra son of a very extra god)

Remy is a child of Hypnos (Hypnos is the god of sleep)

Virge is a child of Aphrodite and Patton is a child of Hades (Bare with us for a second, we´ll tell WHY we did this below the cut)

Emile is a child of Epiope (The goddess of the soothing of pain)

Deceit Damian is a child of Hermes (Hermes is, among other things, the god of deception)

Thomas is a child of Iris (Y´know, the goddess of the Rainbow)

More about this under the cut! (Warning: Its ridiculously LONG)

Child-of-Aphrodite! Virgil

When deciding upon which god he should be the child of, we mainly thought about how he was before pre-acepting anxiety, how he felt like “The odd-one out”, how he felt like he “didnt belong here”. See where we are going with this?.

Virgil is supposed to be the child of the goddess of beauty, but he honestly cant see it. He is way too pale. Way too lanky. His hair is too messy. He has eyebags that are bigger than his fist. He isnt “pretty”.

His siblings arent helping with that either: They are incredible extroverted people, they actually care about their appearance, about trivial things like make up and clothes, they are known to be extremelly social, their fucking cabin its mOTHERFUCKING BARBIE MANSION PINK AND ALL.

He doesnt fit with them, sure, he can get along with most of them just fine, but he still feels wrong.

He has charmspeak, but he doesn't knows how to use/control it and its also heavily influenced by his emotions, so when he's really stressed out it activates, mostly to keep his friends out of danger. (Its basically like his canon anxiety demon voice, it can influence them like that scene where v's like 'GET RID OF THE PHONE NOW' and Thomas just throws it without thinking )

His first days on camp were pretty rough, and he was thinking of running away, that is, until he met a very cheerful son of Hades.

Child-Of-Hades! Patton

Patton “Hellhounds are just misunderstoods puppies!” Medina

Patton “Oh that kid looks sad and lonely and uncomfortable Im going tO BEFRIEND HIM” Medina

All the hellhounds just become big puppies around him, he has a tiny army of Cat-skeletons and dog-skeletons following him everywhere that are always either playing with him or trying to get pets of him. 

Since there is literally just one other kid of hades in the cabin most of the bunks are empty so one of them becomes the Cave(tm) of Patton´s bony friends (Its just a bunch skele-pets under a blanket) 

 Also one of the bunks is reseved for Virge, since sleeping in a pink barbie mansion surrounded by SO MANY PEOPLE made him incredible anxious. And Patton could not let his precious friend and crush suffer! He has already went through enough! 

 One of the funniest things to Virgil its the fact that the Hades cabin looks like where vampires would live and then BOOM SUNSHINE BOY 

Patton´s Brother: ugh it's too early to-is that the sun??? I thought there were no windows here??? 

Virge: No, that's Patton

He is the first one to discover that, despite Virgil not believing it, Virge is actually FUCKING gorgeous. Like, one day he makes Virgil giggle and Patton feels as his heart might burst: Virgil´s hair was messy and fluffy and it kinda covered his eyes, but you could see them sparkle with amusement and he had this tiny and kinda shy smile and all that Patton could think was: “goDS ABOVE IM TOO GAY TO FUNCTION- HELP”

Despite his sushiney attitude, lets not forget that, as a child of Hades, Patton is actually fucking powerful, and will not hesitate to absolutly destroy whatever and whoever tries to hurt his fami-friends and his home

Child-Of-Apollo! Roman

You know how Percy´s sword turns into a pen? Yeah, Roman´s katana turns into a golden and silver hairbrush. 

Was sent to camp since he was really young and trained in hand to hand combat until he became the best. 

Has an enthralling voice and incredible acting skills and he can dance like the muses, but cant shoot straight to save his life (Pun not intended lol) and if he tried to heal a paper cut it would probably get infected .

Loves the camp dearly, but he misses his family a lot so he Iris-calls them every saturday

Child-Of-Athena! Logan

Hands down the best strategist in the whole camp. 

Cant do hand-to-hand combat to save his LIFE, but he is amazing with long distance weapons. Bow and Arrow? Logan will pull a hawkeye shit where he NEVER fails. He is good at making traps, like, he studies what surrounds him and can make a scooby-doo-like trap with branches and shit he found laying there. People do not Fuck with him during capture the flag. 

You know how Athena´s kids are all terrified of spiders, right? Welp. Logan has a Patton-level fear of spiders.

“Pardon my crude language, but I don't fuck with those tiny ass demons”

Child-Of-Hermes! Damian

“You, my child, are amazing, but you have the moral of a chocolate muffin”- Thomas, to him, after spending 15 minutes alone together.

Will 100% fuck shit up, not in a “IM EVIL FEAR ME” way, but more in a “Remember my father is also the god of pranksters do not fuck with me Virgil”

Has definitely not pranked Roman and Virgil and had to unceremoniously hide in a tree top so this two would not murder him in the time it took for Emile and Pat to calm them down

Child-Of-Hypnos! Remy

He is a child of hypnos, and as such, drinks unhealthy amounts of coffee so he can stay awake.

He can make everyone he wishes fall asleep instantly just by touching them and he can make it last as long as he wishes (More than 4 hs per person tires him tho)

He doesnt have an ounce of common sense in his whole body and Emile still doesnt know how he managed to stay alive for this long.

Child-Of-Epione! Emile

He is not gifted with healing like some childs of Apollo, yet he is able to sooth the pain of others. No, not only as a psychologist (He is not one yet, but he wants to be one when he grows older), but also as an overall comforting presence: He is kind, his voice is calm, he is sweet, patient and emphathic. 

One hug from him will not heal all your pain, but will make it hurt less, giving you the strength to keep fighting it for a while.

Really, REALLY not good at fighting.

Cried for a whole day when he learned that the camp has no tv so he couldnt watch any cartoons while he stayed there

He was very lonely growing up as before getting to camp, so he used to watch A LOT of cartoons to keep himself occupied, to avoid feeling alone.

The human mind and emotions never ceases to amaze him.

Child-Of-Iris! Thomas

Thomas started going to camp at a very young age, so he kinda knows everyone. 

Despite that fact, he got claimed on the summer after his 15th birthday. 

He was walking across the camp towards the Big House to say hi to Chiron when a full on rainbow surrounded him and Iris´s logo started glowing on top of his head. He looked at the rainbow, then he looked down at his “could be gayer” t-shirt and burst out laughing.

He spends only summers on camp, and since he is a bit older than most of the campers, he became a sort of counsellor to new campers whenever he is in camp.

He helps the new ones with training, teaches them how to get around the camp, teaches them how to read in greek and greek history (To them its history, no mythology) if they dont know anything about it. 

He is super supportive of every new camper! Like, if they are training and one of the newbies fucks up (Drops his weapon, falls, trips, whatever) he will instantly start going “Its okay!! No one can do this right in their first try!! It took me like a year just to stop sucking at it!! You are trying your best and thats whats important!!”

He gave one look at Virgil´s angsty demeanor, Damian´s snarky attitude, Roman´s fake confidence, Patton´s pattoness, Logan´s insighful and wise opinios, Remy´s complete lack of self preservation and Emile´s internal screaming as he tries to keep the rest of his friends fucking mentally stable and immediatly decided “Im going to adopt them”

While Thomas is an excelent “counsellor” and loves his friends, sometimes he will be watching the other 7 human disasters run around and get into shenanigans and just be like: Those kids are already so fucking weird this might as well happen 

Asked to be tagged: @fandoms-till-the-end-of-the-line @thatgaydemigodnerd

[gffa]

do you have any ObiWan recs? Because I l've read ReEntry and all of akathecentimetre's but I'm at a loss for other good prequel based ones

Oh, dear anon, you don’t know what kind of paralysis this gave me for a good solid minute, because I HAVE SO VERY MANY, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY NOT GIVE YOU LITERALLY 200 RECS?  There are so so many good prequels writers out there LET ME YELL AT YOU ABOUT SOME QUALITY FIC.✦Fire and Ice by Yesac is the fic that really got me into prequels fic and is an incredible story about the duel on Mustafar going differently, where Anakin wins and basically takes Obi-Wan and Padme hostage, while he’s this unstable font of power, who actually has to learn some really hard lessons before he can really start to earn his way back to the side of good.  It has some of the best Obi-Wan characterization in any fic I’ve read, the balance of his care for Anakin versus staying true to his morals and the sheer solidity of who he is is *kisses fingers* perfection.✦ starbird by imaginarykat is one of the best characterizations for Obi-Wan I’ve ever read.  wicked thing tends to be more popular (and is also wonderful) but for my money, starbird is the one that really helped me get Obi-Wan as a character, in addition to having some of the most sharply hilarious moments ever.  You really feel the weight of Obi-Wan’s presence and character in this one.✦ Equinox by lilyconrad is gorgeous all the way around!  Even if Sith!Obi-Wan isn’t usually your thing, I would gently encourage giving this one a shot anyway, because it’s not really about Obi-Wan falling into darkness, it’s about Obi-Wan, but it’s not actually Obi-Wan himself, and it’s complicated, but it gets at the heart of the character, while still showing how much of the light he is.  It’s a deliciously lush gothic horror story + his relationship with Anakin that explores who they both are and has some truly stellar smut.  I love all of Lily’s stuff, she writes a lot of Obi-Wan’s character, so you can pick up anything by her!✦ Cataclasm by dendral is amazing as well, it’s a story where Obi-Wan is whammied with some extra Force visions and so he has to walk away from everything he knows to go do some Force-related shit, but he remains so very much himself (and such a Jedi, in such a beautifully told way) and there’s worldbuilding and plot and it’s just gorgeous. someday when i’m gone away we’ll be all okay is also stellar and made me cry the kind of tears where my throat hurt from the lump in it and yet it’s perfect for the characters.  (It’s deathfic, but worth it, imo!)✦ I really love panharmonium’s fics as well, who hasn’t written much, but always has such clear affection for the world and the characters!  The Mathematics of Repair is probably my favorite, it’s sparkling and wonderful just-post-TPM early days of Obi-Wan & Anakin’s relationship!✦ The Living Force; Parables for Padawans by gloriousclio is this really stunning fairy tale-like exploration of Obi-Wan and the Jedi, not just feelings but beautiful wordcraft, too.✦ Smitty has written three STELLAR fics about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s early days and what’s amazing to me is that they were written in NINETEEN-NINETY-NINE and yet utterly NAILED their dynamic! The House That Obi-Wan Built + Sofa, So Good + House of Cards.  The hilariously written snark + underlying care is spot on to their dynamic.✦ In all the World by Ammar is an amazing combination of the early days of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship, worldbuilding, AND case fic!  I remember thinking that this could have been a novel published by Star Wars itself and I would have still been impressed at all the things it absolutely nailed right and built up!✦ Supreme Chancellor Kenobi by stonefreeak is another amazing series where it’s not just about Obi-Wan, but he’s a central figure in it!  And even when she writes other characters she does an incredible job with them, like, the Quinlan piece is one of the best I’ve ever read for him!  Basically it’s exactly what it sounds like–Obi-Wan finds himself suddenly elected to the position of Supreme Chancellor, which means everyone now has breathing room to actually FIX THINGS since Palpatine can’t make them worse, but also it’s HILARIOUS because he kind of really hates it, no matter how good he is at it!✦ The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by A_Delicate_Fury is a gorgeous time travel fic that does an amazing job with his character.  There are small moments with Luke that just floored me with how many feelings they gave me, but also the fic just nails everything it wants to do.  Plot!  Characterization!  Keeping me on the edge of my seat!  Action scenes!✦ Soldier, Poet, King by Glare is a fave because I’m weak for Soft Sith stuff in fandom, especially when there’s such a charm to the writing of his and Anakin’s relationship.  I still remember these great scenes of Anakin’s mental landscape form and how Obi-Wan interacted with him, that sense of all that power and Obi-Wan’s hand metaphorically on the back of his neck, their dynamic is so good.  Plus plot!  \:D/✦ I love everything by Ripki, but you can start with The Atlas of Our Ruin, which is a time-travel fic that forces Obi-Wan and Anakin to really tear into all the difficult stuff from their pasts and spill everything out everywhere, in an attempt to lance the wounds.  It’s a gorgeous look at both their characters and the relationship between them, it’s SO TASTY to read and ouchy-but-cathartic in the best way.✦ The Journey of the Lights by Pandora151 is more time travel fic (this fandom is really good at them) that just consumed me while I was reading it, where Qui-Gon is dumped forward into the future and it winds up forcing some things to come to a head early, and there’s a lot of Obi-Wan having to juggle a lot of different relationships and difficulties, and it’s SO GOOD.✦ Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove is the kind of Legends-based (instead of Canon-based) fic that I love to see, because it’s so THOUGHTFUL about the Jedi and their philosophy/theology, as well as some really stellar Obi-Wan characterization.  He’s going through A Lot in this fic, but he faces all of it and himself and his growing understanding of everything (because we never stop growing and understanding) with such cleverness and skill.  There’s some quality Mace moments in the fic as well and some great Anakin stuff, but it’s at its heart an Obi-Wan fic and it was a joy to read.✦ Seed by belldreams is one of my favorites for how much heavy lifting it does with Obi-Wan and balancing his feelings with being a Jedi.  There’s such good, thoughtful characterization here, where he really has to look at himself and he really thinks things through, there’s such a solidity to his character here that is SPOT ON.  Also, FUCK OR DIE FIC, we were blessed by this one.  (Upfall also has some really quality Obi-Wan thoughts, too!)✦ In All But Name by Mirror and Image is one I read early on in fandom, so I can’t speak to how well it would hold up for me re: the relationship with the Jedi (I suspect not as well as my fond memories would suggest) but that’s a personal quibble and the point is that it’s really good Obi-Wan focus and it’s all about him beginning to train Anakin on Naboo instead of going to the Jedi Temple, there’s a whole lot of focus on children’s education, because that’s what the authors teach as well, so this one totally engrossed me.  I remember Coalesced Matter was a good Dooku & Obi-Wan & Anakin fic, too!✦ In fairness, I haven’t read Reprise by Elfpen yet (I’m hoarding it) but I’ve enjoyed the other fic I’ve read from this author, so I feel confidence giving this a rec.  Plus, it’s all my favorite things, like TIME TRAVELING OBI-WAN.  :D✦ The Exchange by MissLearn is another one I loved, where it’s centered on the Obi-Wan & Anakin relationship, as they exchange places in time and that forces a lot of things to come out, but it gives me SUCH FEELINGS and the characters around them were written wonderfully and UGH SO GOOD.✦ Shadows of the Future bystormqueen873 is one I haven’t read since the very early days of my reading, so I can’t say how it would hold up, but I remember being utterly IN LOVE with this story and how much it fixed.  One of the things that it really did well was building up to the big reveal of Obi-Wan’s time traveling, that the fic really knew how to ratchet up to that moment so that, when it finally happened, I had SO MANY FEELINGS about it.  Plus, lots and lots of warm-hearted, fluffy slice-of-life moments as everything gets fixed!✦ I like all of anecdotalist’s fics, but starting with Clarity is probably best, it’s a nice long fic that fixes a lot of what goes wrong during ROTS and just utterly engrossed me.  Plot!  Action scenes!  Anakin being a disaster, but listening to people who actually want to help him!  Though, The Fallout of Anakin Skywalker’s Knighting will always have a special place in my heart for making me cry over feelings about Obi-Wan.✦ Tano and Kenobi by Fireflyfish is time traveling Ahsoka this time, who becomes Obi-Wan’s Master and everything starts slowly shifting towards the right (or sometimes just straight up blowing over to the right) and it’s a DELIGHT to see their dynamic, to see Ahsoka really growing into the role of being a Master, to see Obi-Wan’s relationship with her grow.✦ The Hand Dealt by not paranoid enough is one I read awhile back, but it’s a Canon Divergent fic, where things go a little differently on Tatooine and it’s sort of a mix between a slow burn and just being about the early days of his relationship with Anakin, and I remember it being REALLY GOOD.✦ I like everything of Valairy Scot’s that I’ve read, she’s another Legends writer that really is a lot of fun, and I’d say start with A Good Place To Die.  It’s pretty much an entire novel of Obi-Wan whump + recovery, which it REALLY embraces and is super satisfying if you’re into that sort of thing!  Plus, man, Anakin is SPOT ON in this fic, for how deeply he cares, how brilliant he is, but also what a disaster he is when he can’t get out of his own head.  I also remember really liking Our Honored Dead.✦ I also like wreckageofstars’ stuff as well!  Echoes of Mortis is an ensemble piece, but it’s satisfying for his character and has great plot and action and things diverging from canon in a fascinating way!  Also a HILARIOUSLY GREAT read is Obi-Wan and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad (Life) Day which is just as funny as promised.I AM MISSING SO MANY GOOD OBI-WAN FICS, BUT THIS WILL GET YOU STARTED.  I LOVE OBI-WAN KENOBI AND I LOVE THIS FANDOM FOR PROVIDING ME WITH GOOD STUFF.

[eternaldipshit]

alright i’m fuckin PISSED

i just made this blog yesterday to maybe possibly post a homestuck fic i’m working on but now i’m going to use it to scream into the utter fucking gaping void of the homestuck fandom bc none of my friends are actively in it right now and god dammit i am UPSET

fact: i got a lotta feelings for the striders. they are my shit. i adore them. ok? so that’s an established fact now ok good cool moving on 

fact: when game over was released, i quit the homestuck fandom. that shit broke me. even if it wasn’t the “alpha” timeline or w/e it still fucking happened and it upset my delicate fucking sensibilities and hearing carne vale STILL triggers some sort of visceral feeling of panic and straight-up fuckin MISERY in me and i wish i was fucking kidding but i just put it on now to test it and ugh ugh gughgsh

fact: i started rereading homestuck this month from the beginning and reigniting my love for it. game over still fucked me up, but i powered through it and 5 years fuckin late i finished a harrowing emotional rollercoaster that i’d started like 7 years ago and was just... DEEPLY fucking unsatisfied with the ending which is why i started writing aforementioned fic in the first place but that is not relevant rn this is a whole different rant ok

fact: i wrote like 20k words for this fic in the span of like 3 days it was sick as fuck

fact: the epilogues are dumb as fuck and i despise them 

and that’s the meat of it really. fuck the epilogues. 

i haven’t finished them yet, but i just. ugh. UGH. words escape me. partially bc im a shit wordsmith but also bc *SPOILERS* i just got to dirk’s funeral scene and just fuckin. gave the fuck up. 

i never liked the original homestuck ending to begin with, but i never expected that the epilogues would be so fucking... bleak. it’s like reading a shitty fanfic except all the fun is sucked out of it bc technically all the shit you’re reading is canon and that makes it all seem drab and unfunny and just kinda depressing 

especially in the i guess ‘doomed’ timeline where dirk kills himself 

idk if it hit me hard bc of the flippant treatment of suicide or if it’s just bc i love dirk so much as a character but it just hurt in so many different fucking ways

it doesn’t help that the epilogues paint dirk as a straight up fucking sociopath

and i can see why that would make sense, really. his expanding godhood powers played into his pre-existing sociopathic tendencies in the worst way possible but

it’s just

not what i want to imagine from a fucking epilogue

call me soft and an idealist but i like my happy endings god dammit and fuck FUCK FUCK the epilogues. i want to try to finish them but it’s just. fucking difficult. 

i think the suicide was the last straw for me and now that i think about it it’s definitely bc of my own suicidal ideation and this is exactly why i avoided that stupid fucking show about the girl killing herself no matter how many times it was recommended to me bc i consume media to distract myself from my problems not have them blared in my face in neon lights 

i also fucking hate how dirk’s character morphed from a manipulative as hell genius who constantly struggled with his own morality to this kind of puppeteer who is flagrantly detached from his peers and seems to hold no real attachment to any of them it’s just

it’s shitty

and i was so excited for it bc i thought it would grant me more insight into dirk’s and dave’s characters, considering the fic i’m writing is strider-centric and it just completely took the wind out of my sails instead bc this is not what i pictured for dirk at all 

i mean i’m not a fucking idiot. i know he’s an asshole and an ‘ends justify the means’ guy and definitely manipulative and controlling but this is also the guy that cut off his own head to save all of his friends and tried his best to comfort dave when he was having a breakdown despite his own supposed lack of empathy

and i want so badly to continue my fic like i never read this but i can’t ignore it bc it’s fucking CANON. and i know my biffle would be like ‘fuck canon’ but i can’t fuck canon ok it’s the reason these characters exist in the first place. i might rewrite the whole ending but i wanted to stay as true to canon characterization as poss and now i just. can’t. 

the real kicker is that i was willing to look past the reveal that he was the narrator the whole time, controlling the lives of all the characters even if it literally gave me goosebumps bc it put that whole ‘jake keeps thinking about dirk while jane kisses him’ thing into a new disturbingly unromantic light but i ignored that too. i switched to the other path for a bit and i knew from the minute it switched to the scene where dirk’s hands are shaking and he calls jane i KNEW he would kill himself but i convinced myself otherwise and surprise surprise got my ass handed to me on a silver platter for it

but i cannot i CANNOT believe he would do that to dave. i flat-out refuse. i flat-out fucking refuse to believe that dirk could be so cruel as to leave them all behind in such a crass fashion and how DARE he do that to dave how fucking dare he doomed timeline or not that dude’s been through enough shit like come the fuck ON and decapitating himself??? that’s not poetic fucking justice that is just straight up cruel af and i know these are all fictional chars and this whole scenario is fictional but it is SO UPSETTING TO ME bc that is the EXACT thing you think about before a suicide attempt you think about what it would do to your loved ones and i absolutely irrefutably fucking REJECT the idea that dirk is so far-gone in his godhood puppet game that it wouldn’t even cross his fucking mind and it is just so much worse to me that dave is the one who found the body and i know dirk isn’t a ‘good’ guy but ugh UGH it’s like they just threw out his whole fucking conversation with dave where it’s obvious that he tries to be a better person even tho he knows he’s an asshole and it’s just.

fucking upsetting. 

i hate hate hate what they’ve done to dirk’s character in this it’s like they took all the struggle and all the growth from the adventure and all the nuances and just boiled it down to make a caricature of the person he used to be, emphasizing the negatives so that the epilogues could have this weird fucking quasi-villain dictating everyone’s lives 

why do these epilogues even exist

no one is going to read this but i am just so full of righteous indignation that i needed to get it off my chest. i was so hyped to be back into homestuck again, so excited to see what more it had to offer and this just. ruined all that joy for me. and now i’m afraid i’m just going to fall right back out of it again. 

what the fuck is the opposite of a redemption arc bc that is exactly what the fuck happened here. 

anyway tl;dr i love returning to a fandom i haven’t touched in 5 years and finding out one of my fav chars just got narratively butchered yeah i’m fine it’s cool 

[bigskydreaming]

Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids. 

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’. 

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids. 

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever. 

And he��s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way. 

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

[cheritzbullshitz]

Dandelion Head-Cannons: Playing horror games w/you

It looks like people are starting to come back to this fandom a little bit, huh? :D

idea from an adorable-ass mystic messenger post. I would link it if I remembered who made it

also I thought of Until Dawn when writing this but any scary game with some sort of plot-line you like will probably(?) work

also also this headcannon (my first one!) has the dandelion gang written in it, but I might add the wizard and maybe Heejung(?) here if anyone wants me to enough idrk

Enjoy! :D

Jiwoo:

-Jiwoo was reading some shitty romance novel in Heejung’s room when he heard you scream

-omg wERE YOU OKAY?

-he chucked his book across the room and ran out to see

-he ran back to pick up his book, save his page, and then ran back out the room

-saw you sitting on the couch with all the lights off and gripping the controller like a madman

-oh

-”How dARE YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT, (NAME)!”

-”What are you even playing that made you scream like that?”

-you explained what you’re playing and he practically had sparkles in his eyes when he said “Pshh! Give me the controller. Your strong boyfriend can handle this way better than you.”

-he can’t

-when the first jumpscare came up, his ears stood straight up on end it’s so cute omfg. He screamed louder than you probably ever could, dropping the controller and reaching for the closest thing around him to wrap his arms around for protection, which was you

-you wrapped an arm around him too, patting his back, and teased him with a big ol’ smirk the one he fucking hated so much

-”My strong boyfriend can handle this way better than me, huh?”

-he threw your hand off his back and launched back out of your arms with a light tinge of red on his face, shouting “SH-SHUT UP!”

-it’s so cute

-you offer to take the controller but he’s just...

-he externally ain’t having any of that, even though internally he desperately wants to shove it into your hands, turn into a rabbit, and cower into the couch cushions

-after awhile, you just give up asking even though he really doesn’t want you to

-when he ends up accidentally killing his favourite character, he gets so sad and frustrated

-he literally screamed “NO!” at the top of his lungs

-he was even tearing up poor bby

-you decide he’s had enough

-you turn off the game, turn on the lights (without any complaints from him) and spend the rest of the evening comforting him

-he fought you at first, but once you’ve fought back enough, he kinda just gave in to your love

-you end up rubbing his back with his head in your lap, telling him everything’s okay

-”Everything is NOT OKAY, (NAME).”

-he appreciates it a lot, but he definitely won’t be telling you that

Jisoo:

-he and you are cuddling on the couch together, watching Gordon Lambsy yell at some chefs

-Jisoo doesn’t give a shit about the people and is just staring at all the food all googly-eyed

-you, out of boredom, asked whether he wanted to play this horror game with you

-he never played one before, but playing games with you were always fun (or in the case of rage-games, always an experience at least) so he’s like hell yeah, even though he doesn’t entirely know what a horror game is

-before you guys started playing, you got up and hit the lights, which made him raise an eyebrow but he didn’t really bother to ask you

-you started the game and oh boi

-he understood why they were called horror games real quick

-he jumped every time there was a jumpscare and even screamed once but quickly covered it up with some noise he thought was manly enough

-it sounded like “AAAAAAAAAAaaargh! Ugh! Ahem!”

-you were fucking laughing so hard oml

-you teased him about it and he was like “Hey! A-at least I’m coping better than you!” his voiced cracked really badly too but you were already laughing so you couldn’t say anything

-you guys kept playing but he really wasn’t complaining at all. Every time something spooky started happening he got the opportunity to be your knight in shining armour (aka. he’d wrap an arm around your torso, and when you got really scared, he’d nuzzle his face into your neck) and when you got jumpscared you clung to him tightly like him to you most of the time

-he had fun with you, as he always did

Jiyeon:

-Jiyeon found this horror game he wanted to play with you

-”(Name), you have to play this with me! I wanted to play it by myself, but I was just too scared~!” He whined to you adorably, tears in his eyes.

-yeah right, Jiyeon. He’s just using this as an excuse to snuggle you and he knows it.

-you, of course, agreed

-because he kept on lying telling you how scared he was, you took control over the controller

-this boy was making it real hard for you to play, because throughout your whole playthrough, he was just all over you

-every time anything remotely spooky happened, he’d just take the opportunity to shove his face into any and every part he could

-your face, your stomach, once even your boobs

-you were just like “Yeah, you’re not that innocent. Get outta there.” and pulled him out, meanwhile he’s just trying not to laugh and keep up his wholesome cutie-pie facade.

-“Huh? What are-*snerk* you t...ta-*giggle* talking about, (Name)?”

-eventually, he shoved his faced into your crotch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-he didn’t stop there though he’s Jiyeon. Do you really think he would?

-he started nuzzling it over and over, not directing any attention away from it speaking of attention this boi rn

-”Jiyeon, what are you doing?”

-”What do you mean?” he cooed, looking up at you with big, doe eyes and giving a questioning expression

-”Oh, drop the act. I think you know.”

-he had this devious little smirk on when he flirted ”Is that true?”

-long story short, you both kinda forgot about the game and had fun “entertaining” one another ( ͡0 ͜ʖ ͡0) lol I’m not sorry

Jihae:

-Jihae was in the kitchen cooking something when suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind

-”Guess who?” you chirped gleefully

-he knew who it was long before you said anything

-he smiled softly, interlacing the pair of hands with his own

-”I have a good guess.”

-”Well~? Guess!”

-”Oh, alright then. I’m guessing they have a wonderful smile, eyes I could get lost in, the ability to light up my life like never before, and are the love of my life. Am I correct?”  this adorable bastard is fucking gonna give me cavities from how sweet he is oml it hurts

-you turned him around and gave him a kiss on the cheek *if you’re normal-sized you’d probably have to jump in order to kiss him, and if your short, you’d jump up and hook your arms around their neck, forcing them to bend over when you hit the ground enough for you to kiss them - Jihae’s tall af*

-”Wanna be my backseat gamer? I’m gonna start playing a game.”

-”Uhh...” He glanced over at what he was cooking. He’d loved to hang out with you, but he didn’t want what he was making to burn. “Of course, my love, (yes, I know he calls you “my lady” in the game, but I wanna make this gender-neutral as possible, okay? If you actually have a problem with it, just read it as your name idk) but I may not be able to play with you for long.”

-he turned down the stove to its lowest heat before going with you

-once you started the game up, he was rather intrigued by the story, but he just couldn’t get his mind off his possibly burning food

-that is, until you started to get scared

-mama bird/papa bunny mode: activated

-absolutely every last drop of attention was shifted from his food to you

-immediately grabs your hand to comfort you

-”Oh my goodness (Name), are you alright? What happened? Why are you so afraid?”

-you tell him it’s the game but before you can tell why you’re playing it...

-”Oh, my love, we don’t have to play this game at all if you wish. I don’t care if I’m having fun with the game, if you start feeling in any way uncomfortable, especially scared, I can turn it off immediately. My love, I apologize deeply for not noticing any sooner. I should have been paying more attention to you. Here, allow me to turn off the-”

-”W-wait, I didn’t save!”

-Jihae, Jihae, Jihae. I love you, but boy need some CHILL. He’s too fucking sweet.

-you explained to him what you’re playing and why you want to play it despite it being scary, and he’s still just so worried

-”Alright, but please know that I can turn it off for you at literally any time you wish. If you feel like it’s too scary for you to handle, or you think that you might end up having a nightmare later tonight, at any moment in time-”

-”Jihae.”

-”...Yes?”

-you gave this big boy a reassuring squeeze of his hand, showing him how much you appreciated his caring nature god, would he be such a good dad

-”It’s fine, okay?”

-”...Okay.”

-from then on, he didn’t ask you again if you wanted him to turn it off, but he didn’t leave your side while watched you play, for moral support of course.

-if anything remotely scary happened in the game, he’d wrap both arms around you

-when something actually scared you, he’d be there to play with your hair and whisper to you over and over “It’s okay. It’s alright, my love.”

-once, you got scared so badly you hid yourself in his hair

-he was blushing so hard it was so cute to him

-alas, all good things come to an end

-out of the blue, you both smelt something strange in the air

-before you could ask him if he knew what it could be, he jumped up and shouted “YOUR FOOD!” and dashed out of the room with lightning speed

-your food…?

-oh no

-he was cooking before

-you dashed out the room and into the kitchen to see Jihae panicking over the small kitchen fire over the stove

-you joined in on the panicking and scrambled to put out the fire along with him

-he turned off the stove cautiously as you filled up a nearby pot with water

-you dumped the water onto the fire, putting it out almost instantly

-Jihae had this look on his face that just seemed so...sad. Sorry, and sad. It hurt your heart to look at it

-”(Name), I am so very sorry about this.” He sighed. “This was supposed to be (your favourite food), but alas, due to my ignorance, not only has your food literally gone up in flames, I endangered your life in the process. I can only ask for your condolences for to my actions.”

-bby Jihae it was a tiny flame that was literally smaller than your hand. It’s 100% fine.

-You smiled at him. He was gonna surprise you with your favourite food

-”Jihae, don’t get so hung-up about it. I love just the fact that you would go out of your way to do anything for me, even if I don’t end up eating it at all.”

-you give him a big ol’ hug and he’s sincerely happy he got to be with someone as loving and forgiving as you

Adult! Jieun:

-oh god I haven’t played seen his route in awhile. Jieun fans please be merciful on thee (>~<)

-you had just finished chopping up some apple slices for him, all with the skin peeled off, just the way he liked it

-when you walked up to him with a plate of apples, his eyes lit up like stars in a forest’s night sky

-this precious son of a bitch

-you took the opportunity to do something a cute couple would do and offered to feed him

-”If it makes you happy, you do not need my permission.”

-”Say ‘ah’, Jieun.”

-”Oh woah, Jieun. Slow down, heheh.”

-”OH MY GOD, JIEUN SLOW THE HELL DOWN JESUS CHRIST I CAN’T KEEP UP.”

-...well then.

-that was supposed to be cute, but it turned out to be exhausting

-hmm

-you still wanted to do something relationship-y with him though, because that didn’t really count

-ummm

-oh! A horror game could work! You guys could end up snuggling together (out of fear, but still)

-”Jieun, you wanna watch me play a game? It’ll be fun~.”

-”Yes. Spending time with you is often fun.”

-aw

-you started the game up and motioned for Jieun to sit closely next to you

-he did

-you wrapped your arm around his waist and started playing

-”Oh…” Jieun sheepishly murmured

-”This is...nice, (Name).” He shyly cooed, blushing slightly and shuffling a little closer to you

-once the lights were off and the game started getting eerie, he and you both got afraid.

-when the first actual scare came up, he jumped and gasped slightly, his rabbit ears standing straight up he’s so cute, you guys

-you got scared too, and he asked you why you might play something like this if you get scared while playing it

-you tried to explain to him how getting scared was strangely kinda fun and also gave you the opportunity to cuddle him

-”I don’t understand how being scared could be fun, but if you enjoy it…”

-he kept on getting scared, so you held him closer to you, and he wrapped himself around you in return, but he still was getting really spooked

-so you paused the game, stood up, left the room he was terrified at the thought of you leaving, so you had to convince him you’d be as fast as possible, and eventually he let you go, but not without the lights turned on for him, grabbed a big blanket, dragged it back to the room, to see Jieun cowering into the couch cushions, covering his eyes with his bunny ears. Poor bby Jieun! and wrapped yourselves in its warmth

-he immediately calmed down

-when it was combined with your arm back around his waist, he actually passed out on your shoulder

-you practically had a heart attack it was so cute

-you decided to join him in his nap

-you laid Jieun down and spooned with him, him being the little spoon

-despite just playing a horror game, with him in your arms, you fell asleep relatively easy

[pviane]

#76 Fan

This is a birthday fanfiction for my little D.Va: @stellania-0401

Enjoy your present!!!

생일 축하해 

After many attempts, Winston finally persuaded the world famous D.Va to join his new reformed Overwatch. Her presence in the team was a great boost in morale and fighting capabilities, as well as good publicity! Everyone in the team loved her as no one could resist her cheerful personality and cute looks. No one but a grumpy old man they called Soldier: 76. His lack of interest in her intrigued the Korean mech pilot and she started to annoy the masked vigilante any chance she got. When he finally snapped at her, she revealed her desire to know him more. After some insistence on Hana’s part, he agreed to spend some time training together. However, he did not go easy on her and during one of such training session she hurt her hand so badly 76 was forced to take her to Mercy for treatment.

“Hana, what happened this time?” the Swiss doctor asked Hana when she arrived.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really! Just a training injury!” she answered.

“You should be more careful! And 76 should not push you so hard!” Mercy commented.

“Can you wait outside? It won’t take long!” she told 76 just before shutting the door behind her, leaving him outside.

“Now tell me what happened!” Mercy asked with her usual motherly tone, sitting down on the table next to Hana.

“I told you it was nothing serious…” she replied snorting.

“Hana Song…. What happened?” Angela insisted pitting her fists against her flanks and staring down at her.

“Ugh! Fine, Mom! I misplaced my hand during an ejection practice and it got hurt when I was jettisoned out! It was a dumb move! I’m so embarrassed he saw me fuck up like that!”

Mercy smiled at her and started applying some biotic ointment on the wounded hand.

“You seem to love 76, don’t you?”

“Yes! When you get to know him is not that bad! He has this fatherly aura around him!”

“Oh, I have to take your word for it! He barely even looks at me!” Angela replied. She paused wondering why that mysterious man acted so strange around her all the time.

“Oh no matter!” Mercy continued, “Let me take some self-hardening bandages! We don’t want that hand to heal bad now, won’t we?”

The doctor stood up from the table and went to the cupboards to look for bandages. In her search, she inadvertently hit her note block, making it fall on the ground. Among the various piece of papers that scattered on the floor one in particular attracted Hana’s attention. She quickly jumped down the table and grabbed it before Mercy was able to collect it.

“Hellooo Handsome!” she exclaimed after a short whistle.

On that piece of paper, there was a black and white sketch of an attractive man. Judging by the shading, his hair and eyes were light and the smirk and the look on his face was so… captivating…

“GIVE IT BACK!”

Raising her eyes from the drawing, Hana could see Mercy extending her hand to her. The expression on Angela’s face was a mixture of rage and embarrassment. Upon seeing the doctor’s impatience Hana smirked

“I this… important to you?” she mocked her

“No… I mean, Ya! Give it back!”

“I am not going to do that until you told me what it is!”

“HANA” Mercy shouted, her face becoming deep red.

 Outside the door Soldier: 76 heard Mercy’s cry and readied himself to intervene. Hearing no further commotion, he leaned against the door so he could hear the discussion between the two women more clearly.

 “Ok, Ok! Jeez, this picture must be very important!” Hana said, returning the piece of paper to its owner.

“It is...” Mercy replied, pausing some moments to contemplate the person in the sketch.

“He must have been important!” D.Va corrected herself

“Ya, he was!” Angela replied absent-mined, absorbed by the eyes she herself drew.

D.Va closed in.

“Can I… ask you who he was?”

Mercy dried a tear before it could fall from her eyes.

“The world knew him as Strike Commander Morrison, hero of the Omnic Crisis, leader of Overwatch, Champion of peace and hero to all…” she recounted “…but to me he was simply Jack… and he was my world”

Hana’s eyes widened

“You mean you and Jack Morrison, the Jack Morrison, were a thing?”

Angela simply nodded, sending D.Va into a fit of joy.

“AAAAAAAAH! This is TOO GOOD!” Hana cried holding her palms against the side of her head and swinging it left and right “My ship was REAL!!!!”

Her last words were met with confusion by Mercy

“Ship? What is that?” she asked

“Oh, a ship? Well… It’s when you think two people or characters are in a… romantic relationship even if that is not confirmed or even not possible…” D.Va responded, embarrassed.

“Isn’t it a bit childish?”

“I was twelve! Of course it was! But it felt so good thinking you two were a couple! And I was right too!”

Outside the door, Soldier: 76 chuckled at this last exchange

Mercy smiled again at Hana while bandaging her hand.

“Yeah you were! It’s sweet you thought of us together! May I ask why?”

“Only if you tell me the story of that picture after!”

“Deal! Why did you “shipped” me and Jack?”

“First of all it was not only me! An entire fandom shipped you! We called you 솔메르 in Korea. It means SolMer, because he was a Soldier and you Mercy!”

“Clever!” Mercy commented

“I followed a blog where people submitted content about you! Photos, news… but also fan made stuff like fanfictions and drawings. I was the 76th to follow the blog!”

“Oh, my! I never realized me or Jack could inspire such things! And so many fans!”

“Come on! You two looked amazing together at public events! And how could someone not make fan content about you! You go into battle dressed like an angel!”

“Point taken!” Mercy admitted

“Now you tell your part!” Hana requested

“Very well! It was a long time ago…Mein Gott, it feels like ages now! I was a young doctor that just joined Overwatch and I was hopelessly lost for the most handsome man on the planet. I knew him while working together and we developed a nice cooperation inside Overwatch but I felt like having no hope with a man much older than me and I believed he was out of my reach. So I expressed my feelings though drawings. I could spent entire hours doodling him. I was sketching this particular picture during one of those endless sessions when Jack himself popped on my door!”

“Uh Oh!” D.Va commented, even more interested in the story

“I was startled and tried to hide the fact that I was drawing. I quickly dropped the drawing pen I was holding and stood up in front of the table, facing him. He was carrying a passed-out Jesse McCree and was asking for my help. It was not the first time McCree drunk on duty and it was not uncommon to find him on my table unconscious. For that reason, I suggested Jack to punish him and he agreed with me. He asked me to find a needle, the biggest one I had.”

“I have fear of needles!”

“Jesse was terrified by them too! That’s why I enjoyed the idea of giving him the biggest scare of his life!”

“Mercy! I didn’t know our Angel could be a devil too!”

“He deserved it, trust me. Anyhow, while I was distracted by the needle, Jack discovered there was that drawing of him on my table and took it. I was barely able to see him with that piece of paper in his hands before he run outside blabbing about some urgent meeting with the UN that just popped up. I was SO embarrassed!”

“Why?” D.Va asked, “It’s a nice picture!”

“The point is: he had no idea of my fixation with him! I kept it as a secret for the fear of being rejected and now he was running away with one of my works! I was so paralyzed I could not even slap Jesse when he woke up in that same moment stating the obvious.”

“What did he said?” Hana asked

“He slurred ‘he stole your drawing’. I could see that, dumpkof!” Mercy answered pinching her nose in frustration. She was still angry with the Cowboy after all those years.

“And then? What happened? How did you get it back? I NEED TO KNOW!” D.Va begged.

“Well, after a while I caught him alone” Mercy resumed her tale “and demanded my drawing back. He agreed to return it to me, on one condition: a kiss.”

D.Va’s mouth opened wide in surprise

“Yes, a kiss. A simple kiss on his cheek. I was initially shy about the idea and I feared he might take advantage of it and stole a kiss on my lips. However, when I agreed he let me plant a kiss on his cheek and simply gave the sketch back. I was surprised by his honesty and when he asked me out for a break together some days later I was more than happy to go.”

“Ohhh” D.Va commented in awe “so that’s how it all started!”

“Yes. Over time our relationship deepened and we became much more than co-workers and friends. We became lovers. And one year later, on that day, I gifted him a much more refined version of that original drawing, which I still keep with myself as you saw.”

On the other side of the door Soldier: 76 backed up a little. He opened the zip on his Jacked and reached for something inside. He extracted a folded piece of paper and started opening it, careful not to tear the old thing. Pausing for a moment, he stared at the picture inside. The person in it looked back at him with his blue eyes. Jack Morrison’s blue eyes. The same eyes that were watering behind the visor right now.

After a brief pause, Hana asked one last question.

“So, after that it all ended with that… incident right?” she said looking down with sad eyes.

“Yes. However, in a way it never ends. You do not love a man like the way I loved him and simply stop. He is still inside me, in my memories, in my heart…

Hana kept her head down, trying to hide the fact that she was crying. Mercy noticed the shiny drops falling form her cheeks and cupped her face in her hands.

“You know, it may sound silly, but sometimes I hope he is still alive somewhere. A part of me cannot believe he is really dead.” She told D.Va.

“That would be nice!” the Korean girl replied wiping her tears “If only it was true!”

In that moment, the two heard knocking on the door. Angela stood up and went to open the door.

76 was still on the other side, waiting.

“Is she all right?” he asked without looking directly at the doctor

“Oh, she is a tough girl, she will be fine!”

Hana stood up and walked towards them. Without looking up or saying a word, she passed between them. Soldier: 76 rested a hand on her shoulder and she stopped.

“What’s wrong, soldier?” he asked

“Nothing…. Just that my favorite story will never have a happy ending.” She replied before resuming her slow walk down the hallway. 76 could clearly hear her sobbing and that was breaking his old heart. Looking down, he sucked up the pain.

“Never say never!” he whispered.

Then he raised his head and looked straight into Mercy’s eyes.

There you have it! A quick story where D.Va was actually a Mercy76 shipper :P

The drawing story is inspired by a wonderful comic by @ufficiosulretro

So if you want to see Mercy’s drawing, go see it on the original page!

I hope you all liked it!

[moononastring]

*eminem’s voice* guess who’s back, back again

HELLO M’LADY

so first things first: the horrible test i had to take was this Sunday, and it was gruesome and excruciating as I thought it would be. (Studying at home with an unstable family during a pandemic does that to oneself i guess)

Today i restarted QOS and fuck me, i rlly dislike manon again. is this who i am now??? A person attached to morals in fiction? I hate to see it. I cannot ignore the fact that she kills for ‘amusement’, or the cannibalism thing. Funny how my ‘what bother me’ thermometer abides by no laws, it just.... ruins my chances to enjoy characters. ew.

I was debating not coming back until i read the whole aedion rescue (which I didn’t yet) but i kinda wanted to talk about this i guess

I think the reason why i cling to Chaol sm is because he is just like every literary boy i feel in love with since i started reading for pleasure when i was like... 9? So, percy jackson, harry potter, hiccup (from How to Train Your Dragon.... those books basically raised me) and all these other characters that were all about doing the right thing the right way (As it should be in stories made for kids), and honor and being valiant and brave. (That is also why i think that for me the whole The Most Powerful People To Ever Exist feels rlly forced and unnecessary and... Not That Cool(?)(why can’t i express myself properly ugh) bc i grew up loving all these characters that were not The Best but gave their best, nonetheless, and succeeded even when all odds were agains them... anyway)

So i guess what I’m explaining is that i still hold on to some of that? Even though there are a lot of morally grey characters I love (do not let me get started in all of my Very Dubious Fanfiction Taste) But when it comes to books I really love to see these really good people being... good and enjoying things and winning and thriving because of it. I guess it does kinda hurt when i see them getting forgotten/benched by fandom for not being ‘interesting’ :(. Anyway. Moving on.

But I do love to see characters who would do anything it takes to protect the people you love, (like Aelin and Rhys (even though it bothers me Very Much that he’s a little bit too idolized for someone who is the the Much Much Much Darker Side of Morally Grey)). It’s such a compelling concept for me. And I guess that’s why i keep reading these books that kind of hurt. Also because.... smut is kinda good, sarah has her moments I won’t deny it!!!

BUT BUT BUT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WAS SO REFRESHING?????? SEEING MISS AELIN REALIZING SHE WAS A BITCH FOR THE WAY SHE TREATED OTHE WOMEN IN THE PAST. It felt so good to read it bc I remember just wanting to bash her head to a wall for how she viewed/treated Kaltain. Also Lysandra Is So Hot I LOVE HER. Ngl i was always living for every antagonistic woman that has ever crossed paths with aelin (Maybe not Ansel that much bc i was really gutted with the whole ‘she killed Mikhail( is this how i write it) and all those other assassins’ moment).

anyway, the way chaol and aelin treat each other makes me sad. rlly wanted them to be friends. Have I talked about how much i do not like Nesryn and Chaol together? That’s kinda nasty. I rlly hope my boy gets something good (i know for a fact he won’t end up with dorian (and I wouldn’t want it to be canon) but.... ngl that’d be cute as shit, and powerful, and just wholesome and heart warming all over)

OMG AND I WANTED TO SAY that i rlly loved elucienweek!!!?! Even wrote for it!!!!!! And just... tysm for doing god’s work here on our side of tumblr. Lyyyyyyyyyyy 🧃

Ps: why did i overshare so much???? Lol

🧃'nonnie!!!!! I am terrible at remembering that I had to answer asks haha. I saw this one and your other one about the shipping so FORGIVE ME!!

I'm sorry you had a busy week/weekend but glad it's over with and you're back to reading and sharing with me!!

For Manon...as I said last time, I think you will see her in a different light by the end of QOS and esp in EOS HAHA.

Your reasoning for loving Chaol is so 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 and I'm SO excited for you to get to Tower of Dawn my dude!!!! You're going to thriveeeeeeeeee. Your point about Nesyrn and Chaol really made me laugh because yeah, I didn't feel it either bUT YOU WILL SEE. TOWER OF DAWN BABYYYYYY.

Oh Aelin, I really loved the moment where Aelin realized that if she had taken a moment with Kaltain like she did with Lys, maybe it would've been different. I do forgive her though, she was an idiot and at least she knows it haha. Lysandra is a queen and the mvp! I love her so much and would let her murder me if she wanted to <3 I'm really really happy to see her and Aelin start something together in QOS.

I'm almost done with EOS but taking my time because that queen = stress to the max haha.

Thank you for enjoying and participating in Elucien Week bby!!! I'm glad people seemed to have fun with it hehehe. I APPRECIATE YOU <3

[bigskydreaming]

LOL in all honesty though I’m way too amused by my own Jack Frost joke and its literally from a Bobby/Christian fanfic I wrote like, twelve years ago or something. It was right after Morrison introduced the idea of Christian in his run for purposes of Emma angst, and then they had that Emma solo, and I took that and ran with that fueled entirely by Rage and Spite, as I am wont to do. I now have no idea where said fanfic is, sadly. This was definitely way before Ao3. I think I only posted it on LJ, on an account where my friends list was like....entirely people from an entirely different fandom soooooo probably why that fic never really caught on. Whatever, I write fic more for myself anyway lmao.

It was pretty good though, think it would’ve held up well. The basic premise had to do with Dark Beast, the AU version of Hank from Age of Apocalypse. See, in the comics, when the few survivors of the Age of Apocalypse reality ended up in the 616 reality after it was destroyed, not all of them ended up in the present. Dark Beast, for example, ended up like twenty years in the past. And he didn’t have most of his memories, amnesia from trauma from the cross-dimensional travel or something. Which is when he met a then teenage Emma Frost, who’d just run away from home after everything that happened with her dad and Christian, and she ended up restoring Dark Beast’s memories with her telepathy, so they actually have history in the comics.

So I went with the idea of, okay what if you let Christian have agency in his trauma instead of giving it to Emma, who lbr, has PLENTY of story material on her own. So my premise was that it was Christian who ran away from home and ended up meeting Dark Beast and restoring his memories. And then Dark Beast, who has always been just as obsessed with creating the perfect mutant as Mr. Sinister is, if not more, because he’s like....equally obsessed with proving he’s better than Sinister....well instead of experimenting on the Morlocks, which is what he went on to do in the comics, he looks elsewhere. He never went after Scott or Jean, because he’s also a coward and Sinister scares him shitless, and DB knew damn well there was no such thing as a reality where Sinister hadn’t already called dibs on Scott and Jean’s genes. BUT, Dark Beast also knew from his own reality who all the other most powerful mutants would end up being....years before their powers even manifested in this reality. And since I’m me, of course I wrote it so that like, DB decided to focus on the other one of the 05 destined to grow up to be an omega mutant. 

And so he had Christian, who was young and easily manipulated because Love Me, I Need External Validation, My Last Name is Frost as In My Family’s Credo is What If We’re All Frosty All The Time....he had Christian use his telepathy to like, prompt Bobby into running away before the actual event that led to Xavier and Scott finding him and saving him and him joining the X-Men. Where Bobby of course ‘happened’ to bump into DB, who took him in along with his other young protege Christian, so he could like, secretly conduct experiments on Bobby blah blah you get it. 

But eventually Christian and Bobby fell in lurv and Christian was like what no, this is wrong, bad, not doing this anymore, so they run away together, and then it was basically just me writing them as a mutant Bonnie and Clyde who are gay and do crime together and say like, fuck all the adult mutants who try and manipulate them and other kids like them. Like Xavier, who eventually tried to get Bobby to join the X-Men and Bobby was like lol no, hard pass. Or the Hellfire Club, who eventually tried to recruit Christian except he was like lol no, hard pass. And then they were basically like this Chaotic Good power couple that just popped up here and there fucking shit up in a well-intentioned way that made half the X-Men grind their teeth and the other half snicker, and same with the Acolytes and other various groups. And there wasn’t really anything anyone could do about it because its canon that Bobby’s only real weakness is to psychics and having a world-class psychic as your boyfriend really kinda nips that weakness in the bud. Unless you come up against like, a cosmic-class psychic like Jean Grey, but lucky for them, she just thinks they’re adorable and tends to go whoops, missed them again every time they slip through the X-Men’s fingers.

And ultimately they decided their real mission in life was to rescue really young mutants whose powers manifested early and put them in danger, and make sure they get a chance to grow up without the various factions going ‘we’ll protect you, but only if you grow up to support our agenda and be One of us, shhhh, don’t fight it, just sign your life away on the dotted line, all the cool kids are doing it.’ And also me being me, and it being like 2004 ish? I think? Maybe 2005. Anyway. So my other preoccupation of the time was the Academy X kids so of course we’re talking like Julian and Josh and Cessily and the like, who were all like, adorable little ten year olds at this point in time, but also V. Beyond the Capacity of These Two Hapless Gays to Handle Without Help. Like, apparently omega powers and world-class telepathy do not actually qualify you to effectively parent a mob of young mutant menaces when you’re only 21-22 yourselves, who knew. So they ended up just showing up on the doorstep of one of Emma’s properties, mutant menace mob in tow, as she was the White Queen by now, and Christian greeting her facepalm moment with ‘Hey Ems, remember how you always wanted to be a teacher?’

And then there was this bit where Emma was something like “I’m a bit busy trying to take over the world, darling, try me again after my mid-life crisis.”

And Christian was all: “You can teach and take over the world at the same time, y’know, some of us are capable of this little thing called multi-tasking?”

And Bobby helpfully piped up: “I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.”

Cue Emma’s wrinkled nose and accusing stare at her brother: “What on earth do you see in him?”

But Bobby just turned around and was like: “Umm, for starters, my ass is amazing. Have you not seen it? Here, touch it. Go ahead, you can squeeze it.”

Emma: .....

Christian, shrugging: “Well I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Emma: “If I agree to this idiotic plan of yours will you leave immediately and never come back?”

Bobby, stage whispering: “Tell her we still want holiday visits, so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us more than her. But don’t tell her that last part.”

Christian, dutifully: “We want to still come by for holidays so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us but no more than you, an equal amount only.”

Emma: “I’m standing right here you imbeciles.”

Bobby, still whispering: “Make sure that includes Easter. I’m pretty sure if I show up in a bunny costume I can make her head explode.”

Christian: “Just to be clear, that includes - “

Emma, a vein in her temple throbbing: “Just give me the children already.”

Bobby, gathering up the kids in a crowd around him, all noisy and giggling and clamoring for his attention: “Okay kids, so here’s the plan. From now on, you guys are gonna stay here in this big old house with Auntie Em!”

Emma, appalled: “Oh. My. God.”

Christian frowns: “Emma, please stop trying to fry my boyfriend’s brain. I’m not going to let you.”

And then the kids swarmed through the door past her into the hallway and there were the sounds of stuff breaking, distracting her for a bit before she like, glared at Bobby and was all: “This is all your doing!”

Bobby, hurt: “Only mostly! Chris and I are a team. A united front. It was a 60/40 split.”

Christian: “Well....”

Bobby: “Okay, 70/30.”

Christian: “You said you were going out to get some waffles to make breakfast in the morning and you came home with waffles, ice cream, and Julian on your shoulders.”

Bobby: “He followed me home!”

Christian: “That’s not how he tells it.”

Bobby, whirling on the ten year old Julian Keller who’s playing a Gameboy and looking entirely unconcerned: “You little traitor.”

Julian flipped him off.

Bobby, scandalized: “He did NOT learn that from me.”

Julian, still not looking up from his game: “Yes I did.”

And that was when Christian started dragging his boyfriend back to their car, before Bobby can get into an actual fight with a ten year old, yelling back over his shoulder at Emma: “Okay, great, thanks so much for doing this, let us know if you need us to bring anything when we come back in a few days with the second batch.”

Emma, distracted and trying to do a headcount: “Yes, fine, be gone already. ...Wait. What second batch? DRAAAAAAAKE!!”

But it was too late as the car is halfway to her big mansion gates by then, Bobby cackling: “Hey, we should totally get a dog. Like a little foofy one.”

Christian, knowing better than to ask but asking anyway: “And why is that?”

Bobby: “Bet you anything I can get her to say “I’ll get you and your little dog too!’”

Christian: “I’d appreciate it for both our sakes if you never do or say anything to suggest to my sister you’ve ever compared her to the Wicked Witch of the West. I mean, not that she’d protest on moral grounds, but she takes her color schemes very seriously. And you do know you don’t actually have to provoke her quite so much...”

Bobby: “Mmmm....agree to disagree. It’s the principle of the matter.”

Christian: “What principle? What matter?”

That was the gist of that scene anyway. Dialogue’s probably different, but you get it.

Ugh, I probably have the whole thing sitting in an old email account somewhere because that’s always been my main way of backing stuff up, is emailing it to myself. Problem is, I think I had a specific fandom email account back then and I don’t know what it is anymore lol.