#umbrella academy rant

[cautiouscrab2eletricboogaloo]

If you scroll back far enough you’ll see this account was mainly Umbrella Academy posting. I was OBSESSED with this show, especially when s3 came out despite the writing being objectively…iffy in some scenes. But I knew how GOOD the show could be, and hell, s3 WAS GOOD!

And then s4 happened.

And let’s just say

I’m disappointed :D

Spoilers for everything s4 here on out

Ok so watching this season was like being trapped in a burning building but you’re trying to rescue your things, but then you realize they’re also all on fire. I kept watching, thinking “oh, this is gonna lead to this” or “oh that’s a cool reference to that” and NOTHING HAPPENED???

Like in the beginning, with Alison. I thought for sure, everyone was just gonna not like her for a majority of the season, she does something really cool/saves them and then they go “ok, we aren’t gonna forgive you, because what you’ve done to all of us is not able to be forgiven, but we’re gonna try to be better and include each other in our lives”

Nope

They just forgave her off camera and she was just enjoying life with them

And so I’m like “ok, I can excuse that, besides there WAS a 6 year timeskip, maybe we’ll see something with th-“

Nope

Another thing, the sake bombs

My brother in christ Klaus THREW IT ON SOMEONE ELSE AND JUST??? THAT PERSON DIDNT GET HIS POWERS?? My partner legit turned to me and was like “oohhh he’s gonna get Klaus’ powers that’s gonna be so cool.”

But nope that guys never shown again!!

“Okay…” I say slightly nervous “but Klaus is objectively the fan favorite, they can’t fuck up his character”

But then they did. Now iirc, Vietnam wasn’t mentioned at all in s3, and if it was, it was minimum, but there were SO MANY INSTANCES TO BRING IT UP AND THEY JUST DIDNT??

And I tried to excuse it, but legit it was so obvious that they should’ve brought it up. Ignoring the fact Klaus GOT DAVES DOG TAGS BACK AND SAID/DID NOTHING BUT LOOK AT THEM?? you have the scene where everyone is shooting as each other and he’s hiding in the hallowed out part of a grave (which, idk, reminds me of TRENCHES??? Which I’m like 80% sure was used in the Vietnam war) and also, did NOTHING. He covered his ears and I’m sitting there, thinking “oh maybe a flashback”

Nope!

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST I CANT STOP EXCUSING IT, BUT I DO

Cuz when he got locked in the coffin, I’m thinking “oh perfect time to bring up the mausoleum-“

Nope

(Also the way the show tried to make it a joke that he was being used for sex to get money left such a bad taste in my mouth. Like we physically saw him get SA’d and just…it’s a joke??? Like already we had that gross SA of Luther in s3 does NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW SENSITIVE OF A TOPIC THAT IS??)

Then, obvs there’s the fuckup with Five

At this point, I’m beaten and broken. I have a pounding headache, the dogs looking at me and my partner funny cuz we keep screaming and- HOLY FUCK FIVE IS KISSING LILA

Five, the physically-25-mentally-65 year old, whose ENTIRE CHARACTER MOTIVATION IS HIS FAMILY

Is kissing Lila, the 30 something WIFE OF HIS BROTHER

His brother. Who he saw DEAD IN A FUCKING APOCALYPSE.

I just ??? It’s so bad??? Why??? Did you think??? That was a good idea??? No one asked for that??

(+ there was no reason to include that arc, or the fact that Lila and Diego were unhappy in their marriage. Lila, maybe I can understand, but Diego had NO REASON. Get rid of those arcs, fucking nothing changes)

And I can talk about the bracelet inconsistency, or how they only made Luther a stripper for shock value, but this post is long enough so I’m just gonna mention one final grievance

The ending.

SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Now, I’ve enjoyed media where they permanently kill off the main characters. Like Magnus Archives (something I frequently would post here)

In the season five finale, they kill of Jon and Martin because it’s the only way to save their world. It makes sense, Jon is already the Pupil of the Ceaseless Watcher + for him and martin, it’s genuinely the only way they can have a decent ending

If they were to keep living, they’d doom the world to constantly be in the eyepocalypse. They address what could’ve been a plot hole by saying “no, living isn’t an option, as much as we want it to be.”

And it’s a satisfying ending! Ask any TMA fan, and they’ll agree that, while sad, it was a perfect ending. So when Umbrella Academy tried to do the same I was…confused? Because that truly WASNT THE ONLY OPTION??

The scene with all the Fives where they’re like “oh btw your family causes the apocalypse every time” I thought we all kinda new that by now….

But also it wasn’t. I am firm in my belief that what caused the apocalypse every time was

1) their powers

And 2) their REACTIONS to each other

S1, for example. Viktors powers inherently cause the apocalypse, but it’s the characters reaction TOWARDS VIKTOR (cough cough Luther) that REALLY seal the deal.

So, no diner Five, it wasn’t THE FAMILY, it was your POWERS. If y’all just…don’t use them and get some family therapy, you guys are FINE.

(Also my partner brought this up, but having a show that revolves around the trauma of the main cast ending with “killing yourself is the only option” is…definitely a choice!)

So yeah. This entire season was trash from start to finish. The songs were not good, the character arcs were not good, the story itself was not good. Everything done was either for shock value (ie making the astronaut a STRIPPER.), ruined characters in ways that didn’t make any narrative sense (Five kissing Lila), or were dragged on far too long (Diego and Luther in the CIA).

And I really don’t want to hate on it, because I love this show, but I really have nothing good to say. It was bad start to finish. Get me out of this burning building, ‘cause my stuffs already burnt.

[roguelov]

Genuinely why would Lila not be happy in a relationship with Diego???

THAT MAN WANTED TO BE A HERO, HE WANTED TO BE NUMBER ONE, HE WAS A FUCKING VIGILANTE FOR FUCKS SAKE HE KNEW THAT NORMAL LIFE SUCKED AND WANTED TO DO MORE!!!

AND YOURE TELLING ME LILA DIDNT THINK TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT THAT SHIT?????? THAT MAN WOULD HAVE SAID ‘YES MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE GO WRECK HAVOC ILL PICK UP THE KIDS TODAY AND DONT FORGET NEXT WEEKEND ITS MY TURN TO GO PUNCH SOME PEOPLE’

DIEGO WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD “BOOKCLUB” AND HAVE SUPPORTED IT 110%

[5five5five5five5five5five]

Au fives having a social media app together.

Viktor: what are you looking at?

Five: oh hargreevesnet, it's how the alternative universes of us all communicate together. I got access to it though my time in the subway but never cared till now. The drama since August has been really entertaining though.

Viktor, needs a moment to process this.

Viktor: what???

Five: apparently one five got stuck in the subway with Lila for 7 years and has been justifying falling in love with her this whole time. He has been cancelled.

Viktor:..........ok have fun, bud.

[phonoix]

I'm so tired, I'm so so tired.

Watching TV shows has become the most tiring thing in this dystopian, late-stage capitalistic hellscape.

It doesn't matter how much we love those shows, how much we talk about them, how much we promote it online. Big streaming services will just cancel them on a Friday night and then let them slowly fall into oblivion. If by SOME MIRACLE the show doesn't get cancelled after the first season, it'll just decline over the years, some crazy writer will cook up a poorly written plot, or they'll just lose interest in the project and then leave the fans in the trenches.

Big corporate streaming services just think that views are gonna materialize out of thin air??? They barely promote their new shows and they DEMAND high views just to let them keep going? It's THEIR JOB to promote shows, but obviously they couldn't care less, they only care about money, and they leave the promoting job to the fans which is batshit insane if you ask me.

Streaming services were supposed to be the solution, the chosen one if you will, but they turned out to be the villains.

Owning a movie or a show is now absolutely impossible because God forbid they release DVDs anymore. Streaming services will just randomly DELETE their cancelled shows and movies from their platforms. Fans are now supposed to be PR teams for Netflix, HBO, Prime and whatever other stupid streaming apps out there because they couldn't be bothered to,,, idk,,, do their job and promote their own shows!? They're literally acting like villains.

It feels dystopic really.

I know I probably sound like a person yelling at a cloud but it's starting to become exhausting.

And I know that there are far worse things out there, that there are more important matters to focus on, but I'm so tired.

They're killing art. There are so many people out there that put all their love and all their passion and skills into creating amazing shows that SO MANY other people love and they feel represented by, but they don't care.

This is literally my last straw.

They're killing art with their greed.

[the-krakens-bitch]

“You hate bracelets” blah blah blah I’m gonna stop you right there, cause are we gonna forget about season 2. About how Diego made a bracelet in the very first episode and didn’t even give it to her, but Lila took and decided to wear to highlight her beginning attachment to Diego. And then even season 3 when Diego shows it to her again and Lila wears it to show their love. Like huh, what are we doing, did all of them(the writers) forgot the original material and that being the previous seasons.

[ccieatchildren]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[hufflepuffthatwantsanap]

Part of why I'm so upset with the ending of season 4 is that it punished the 8 of them for simply existing. They never asked to exist, to be born. They were thrown into existence and punished their whole lives despite being innocent children. Who then grew into dysfunctional adults because of their upbringing. It's Reginald Dick-wad Hargreeves and his Wife's fault. SHE made the marigold, HE released it knowing what would happen and the consequences of this, HE adopted the 7 of them and raised them horribly for his own gain. Yet THEY are punished for things out of their control. They had terrible childhoods and struggled through the whole series to become better and create something for themselves. Stopping multiple apocalypse's so their loved ones could have good lives. They ALL suffered in so many different ways from things out of their control and were actively caused by Reginald. They shouldn't have been erased from existence because they were born. Reginald and his wife should be punished for creating the situation in the first place. It was his fault and he should have taken the fall. NOT THEM.

[thistleh0use]

Jealous Five thoughts just because, well, I feel like Five wouldn't be into public displays of affection under normal circumstances. He's perfectly content to walk side by side with you at a farmers market, nothing but your shoulders occasionally brushing. Or resting against the trunk of a tree, half eaten picnic forgotten while reading your respective books, only point of contact your knees knocking every time one of you shifts. Or while cramped in a restaurant booth, surrounded by the Hargreeves family, sides pressed flush together as Klaus crowds into Five's other side to discuss the appetisers. Sure, when you reach for his hand or lean in to kiss him before running off somewhere it makes him happy, but it isn't really necessary. Five is always right there, never straying, comfortable watching you from a short distance. But at the end of the day, he's just a man. So when you two show up to the twins birthday party and a group of dads are whispering none too quietly about making you a mother? Five moodily crosses the chaotic room to wrap you up from behind, scowl firmly in place for the rest of the event. And Luther is so sweet! But perhaps too sweet to you on a day where Five is already annoyed, so naturally he snaps. Number one won't take it seriously because he's literally so sweet, will shrug off the aggressive threat his brother made and excuse himself with a smile, and you'll be left to scold your man for his misplaced anger. It's all a big f you from the universe because up until you came along, Five thought himself above emotions like jealousy, he's never had reason to feel envy or fear of losing someone because he's not enough. Now its instinct to compare himself to all the other men who fawn over you, even though you pay them no mind, and tries tirelessly to hide his newfound insecurities.

[donnalawliet]

Random thought: The Hargreeves siblings must have been extremely disoriented when they moved out.

They had been basically sheltered from the outside world, only encountering it when sneaking out or on missions. For their entire life, their robot Mom cooked for them, did their laundry (Klaus only mentions having to do laundry as a punishment), never had to worry about money or socialising with other people.

Don‘t give me the Hargreeves siblings in their 30s, all adjusted.

Give me a young Diego, having to pay the bills for the first time.

Give me a young Klaus, not having a bed to sleep in.

Give me a young Viktor, not knowing how to talk to strangers because he never had to.

Give me a young Allison, being overwhelmed by being surrounded by people and yet still feeling alone.

Show me the aftermath.

[gh0stfxc3]

The directors of TUA knows that if Five were to have a prosthetic arm, he'd be the most powerful man. That's why they brought his arm back, cuz do you guys even know what Five will do with a METAL arm? he'll do crazy shit.

[makeyouminemp3]

oh boy, do i love the irony in this

[midnightlamia]

just finished the umbrella academy. rant & spoilers incoming:

let me get this shit straight: the hargreeves siblings didn’t ask for their powers or to be born. said birth and powers were forced on them when reginald hargreeves couldn’t just shut up and die with the rest of his planet/wife. then he flies down to earth, adopts them all, and some 30 years later, we find them running around, constantly trying to save the world from an apocalypse, only to eventually find out that the apocalypses are happening not because this random fucking alien unleashed sparkle dust on the galaxy and abused children that weren’t his in the name of his wife….but because the hargreeves were just born.

that’s it. the reason the cleanse happened is a) their punishment for being born and b) abigail felt bad for an experiment gone wrong and decided to make it the entire timeline’s problem. and the only way to stop it isn’t to figure out a way to stop reginald from unleashing the marigold/coming down to earth & allow all of the og 43 children to be born naturally, when they’re supposed to be, but to….erase the children that never asked to be born from existence while leaving a million loose ends, unanswered questions, and shitty character choices that don’t get developed or explained in any way.

this season was just…….it was definitely a season of a show, i’ll give it that. the pacing was all over the place, so much so to the point where, if anything, we needed four MORE episodes, not four less. i have so SO SOOO many questions. where tf is sloane? what about the other 35 kids with marigold in them? why didn’t we see five create the commission? does durango give superpowers the same way marigold does? why couldn’t ben just drink the marigold himself if he wanted his powers back??? WHY THE FUCK WOULDNT YOU JUST GO AFTER THE MAN WHO UNLEASHED THE OG MARIGOLD INSTEAD OF THE INNOCENT HUMANS WHO GOT STUCK WITH IT WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THAT?? YOU COULDVE DONE A WHOLE THING WHERE THE COMMISSION WAS ORIGINALLY DEDICATED TO FIXING REGINALD’S AFFECT ON THE TIMELINE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING—

literally just kill this last season with fire. burn it at the stake. i’m so pissed and so done. i’ve been watching this show since i was in fucking eighth grade, and i was so excited. i thought they were gonna do a whole thing where it could’ve been like “ben was always meant to die and now the universe is out of whack” or just SOMETHING other than what we got. steve blackman, i genuinely hope you have the worst fucking time for the rest of your life, you raggedy, smelly, conniving, ass-backwards bitch.

thank you and good night.

[mangoshorthand]

Abigail sucks harder than Reginald.

I will never watch S4 again, so you might have to correct my memory here, but can we agree that Abigail is a total cunt? 1000% worse than Reginald.

She literally created marigold in the Reggiverse. Reggie had removed it from the Umbrellas, (right? Hence no powers?) and she *chose* to reintroduce it because apparently Reginald needed a lesson on hubris that just happened to take out several billion people in the process.

Abigail. Honey. Just kill yourself if you're that bothered. Don't like it? Just take yourself out of it. What the fuck is this? Why make a weird and convoluted plan that involved brewing up a batch of marigold, giving it to the umbrellas and just assuming they'd drink it when you could have just taken yourself out of the situation? (Not to mention that you could have executed your little world-annihilation plan by finding Jennifer and dumping the jar on her head. Why the umbrellas gotta be your middle man?)

Again, unless I'm misremembering something, this just seems like horrible writing. If there was no marigold in this world, why was it supposedly doomed?

And, I'm sorry, but when Reginald reset the universe using a machine left there by its creator, why the holy fuck did all the other timelines still exist to be navigated by that dumbass subway? Surely that should wipe them out and create a blank slate. It's a *reset* dammit.

[lilacspider]

TUA should’ve ended after season 2

i am just so kriffing disappointed in this final season. i am disgusted. steve blackman has absolutely zero regard for these characters, their development, and the story. he has no respect for the ACTORS. he threw the entirety of these past three seasons in the trash in just one season. they had so much opportunity and yet he chose to make it a fetish-filled, scandalous, and completely lazy season.

all the vomitting???????? klaus being force fed marigold (which dare i say might’ve made a good storyline for him IF HE WASNT PIMPED OUT AND THEJN NESRLY BURIED ALIVE????) which in turn made him into an alcoholic???

five and lila????? they scrapped fives motivation of saving his family and keeping them together because of his LOVE FOR THEM, all SO HE COULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH LILA????? that is probably the biggest mischaracterization altogether. lila would never cheat on diego. they are married. THEY HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER. it’s NORMAL to have arguments and trouble in a relationship but by no means does it mean there’s room for affairs as a result. it just makes me mad. ritu has known aidan since he was 15, like this is so nasty.

diego being the stereotypical “bad father” for lack of better words because he apparently has no consideration for his family which is NOT TRUE AND IS A HUGE MISCHARACTERIZATION!!????

luther going back to being the guy that no one really listens to because they feel he has nothing of value to offer (it wasn’t super evident but i noticed it which made me sad bc we made so much progress with his character!)???

allison becoming a single mom whose husband, RAYMOND, walked out on her??? that literally makes no sense for raymond or her, yes allison is a strong and independent character but it feels like it’s just stereotype after stereotype.

viktor becoming a womanizer and LEAVING HIS FAMILY BEHIND! all viktor has ever wanted since childhood is to be apart of his family, and they take that away this season??? makes no sense.

dont even get me started on sparrow ben. i have never liked his character he is wayyyy too much of an asshole, but your saying he can’t have common sense??? they turn him into a criminal who is contaminated by this essence that is meant to end the world and ends up making him insanely attracted to the one consistent mystery in this entire show (jennifer/the jennifer incident) and then throw away the entire plot line to just have them end the world. **and then making him and jennifer overly sexually attracted to each other was just straight up weird, where did that even come from?? i had to skip those scenes because it was so kriffing cringe.

because out of no where, abigail had a change of heart. and reginald is somehow one of the only mentally stable characters this season which is new!??? jean and gene were completely and utterly useless. they had no point, the only five i liked in this season is brisket, newspaper, drunk, and season one five. CIA five can leave.

one of the only redeemable moments of this season is the flashback of our brellies. that was good. there were other parts that i liked but that is first that comes to mind. **and the birthday party scene where they reunite. very cute and family vibes. sucks they couldn’t all be together because viktor was straight up kidnapped by some crazy.

and then the subway to different timelines. that could’ve been such a freaking awesome idea and would’ve made a great plot device IF THERE WASN’T ONLY SIX EPISODES AND SOMEONE ELSE WAS PUT IN CHARGE OF WRITING. like why are five and lila the only ones who are aware of this?? this couldn’t have been utilized earlier?? also can we talk more about how ben is an asshole, people focus too much on the attractive aspect of his character (which no offense, i see no appeal to bc the personality is just awful—NO HATE TO JUSTIN H M, he’s fantastic it’s just we did not lose brelly ben for this), like he force fed/tricked EVERYONE into consuming the janky marigold. except klaus because he’s the only smart one there. also good on him for trying maintain sobriety. but still. that is so messed up???? if he had never given anyone the marigold, everything could’ve been fine. they could’ve lived long happy lives in this timeline reggie made.

and then they had david cross, pitch perfect 2 ref, iconic man, play an irrelevant character. i’m so mad. wasted potential right there.

AND! it’s a crime that there is no family dance montage/scene like past seasons. it hurts. **oh and also there being like zero MCR songs is such a slap in the face because if the producers and directors actually listened to the fans opinions and ideas every once in a while, they would know that we’ve been hoping for an MCR song to be included as an homage/reference to Gerard Way.

and then that ending. where they just accept death???? choosing that the world is better off without them??? that is such a lazy end. if they had ten episodes and let gerard way have some sort of say in the writing/directing process, we could’ve had something so good. something so creative and fun and fulfilling. but no. they die and come back as marigolds. **which i personally really liked, out of everything this season i’m not sure why so many people hate the fact they kind of turned into flowers 😭😭 the ending sucked cause it’s so obvious it wasn’t given much thought but it was still sad and seeing the eight marigolds was sweet and gave closure in a sense. as much as it could i guess. **also, the farthest marigold is ben regardless bc brelly ben is dead and sparrow ben doesn’t really consider the brellies as his family. it is not five or klaus or whoever, it is ben. it has to be imo. the two flowers closest together are lila and diego. fight me.**

another thing, all the bad guys having a happy ending? irks me. like they were iconic, but why them and not the brellies? **(while i still agree with the idea of why couldn’t the brellies be happy too, i actually liked the fact that the main villains or side characters had completely different lives had the umbrella academy never existed. like that’s actually crazy sad and really interesting. also two things: is detective patch in that last scene? i’m not sure if she is. and second: why is grace like alive? like she would still be alive, but she was alive in the sixties, so wouldn’t she be like super old by that point in time?? why is she still young? and having kids? the inconsistency is realll)** also i liked the version of i think we’re alone now they used but i think it could’ve been better if they used the tiffany version again 😞

anyway—thank you for reading my rant because i am just so baffled by how horrible this season was. i feel so bad for the cast because even they knew that this season would not be it. that not one true fan of TUA would like it. and it’s sad because this has been such a huge part of their lives and careers as actors. so they did great with what they were given and for that they have my respect.

** signify edits i made — mostly grammatical and clairty edits, and a few of my opinions updated or added on to now that i have had time to really think about what occurred this season.

[mikeymerrick]

Now, I have a lot of feelings about season 4 of TUA, most of them being very negative, but what I wanna focus on rn is KLAUS.

Why did basically no one, not even rlly him, bring up what that biker did to him? And the fact that the entire plot line did practically nothing for the main story at hand.

This guy was killed, and then forcefully put into a locked (and underground, I think) room and forced to do seances (aka see ghosts, which is literally his biggest fear????) to pay back his debt, of which the money he makes from it is also being unlawfully taken away by the biker guy.

And let’s not forget that he’s forced to let a ghost possess his body, from which we’ve seen in s2 that he hates possession, for obvious reasons-because his body is being used against his will. Klaus definitely knows that not complying by the lady’s demands will only result in him being treated worse, after all, she is a paying customer isn’t she?

It’s very obvious that Klaus would be claustrophobic because of Reginald literally locking him in that mausoleum, but we barely get reference to that when he’s locked in the coffin.

The coffin would’ve also been a wonderful time for him to discover a new power but did he? No. There was barely any forwarding of the main plot because of this. Not to mention that he wasn’t there to learn the truth of OG Bens death!!!! Did they ever tell him??

Did the writers write this and think “surely this won’t have any effect on his mental state at all 😁!”

Man ending hurt me so bad I talked to my PARENTS about it

And it’s past midnight I should go to bed . writhe in pain tomorrow

[bi-lemma]

I REFUSE to believe that was Umbrella Acadamy

Honestly, wtf was that??? The Five/Lyla storyline was uncalled for/weird, we all know Five would NEVER. Honestly, it was weird to look at. I enjoyed seeing the softer side of Five tbh, but every time it panned to Lyla I fully CRINGED. It was just jarring in general

The writing was so fucking weird??? Like the whole who are you iM aN AcTOr she didn't fucking say that?? They could've put ANYTHING ELSE. 'I'm a Hargreaves' 'I'm part of the umbrella academy' 'I'm Allison' LITERALLY ANYTHING!?!

All I wanted was some Klaus love, and they locked him in a box for half the season 😓😓😓

No loose ends were tied, and the characters were RUEIND. Umbrella Academy ITSELF was ruined

I need a written apology and some good fixer-upper fanfics frrr :(((((