#unacceptable to tell someone their identity is a slur

[foldingfittedsheets]

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[anarcho-smarmyism]

f*gg*t and d*ke are also slurs, but if someone reclaims them for themselves and their community they arent automatically dogpiled by other ppl of the same demographic for using those slurs -at least, not the way queer people are for using the word queer. similar to ^^ those words you should be courteous and not insist on using queer around people who specifically dont like it, and obviously not liking the word queer doesn't mean you're a TERF, but I feel like ppl are being deliberately obtuse when they act like there's absolutely no connection between the campaign to make "queer" an unacceptable term to use to describe ourselves, our community, and our political goals, and the goals of radfems/TERFs. for example, I've got a post where someone said that "queer people" died in the AIDS crisis, and TERFs are all over the post saying that only and exclusively gay men died during the AIDS crisis, and insisting that saying "queer people died in the AIDS crisis" is an act of homophobia. This is a prime example of how the rhetoric that queer is a slur and that its unacceptable to reclaim it, is used by TERFs and generalized transphobes/biphobes to erase the trans women, trans men, bisexual men, and everyone else under the "queer" umbrella who also died during the AIDS crisis from our history. (as well as sex workers and addicts who also died regardless of their identity, but that's beside the point.)

the push to tell queer people who find the label helpful and useful that they're committing grave acts of homophobia and transphobia by using it, that queer is a particularly pernicious slur and online posts by queer people that say the phrase "queer community" or "queer history" are problematic and unacceptable, is a different beast altogether than some people just not wanting the word applied to them. it erases people like me (maybe I want to come out without spending 20 minutes arguing about whether bisexual or genderfluid are a real thing??), it leads to discourse that the entire academic discipline of Queer Studies is problematic because it uses a slur in its name, it obfuscates the common needs and political goals of people within the LGBT+ community.

[inessencedevided]

Personally, I think it's a kind thing to do to show respect and understand towards people who grew up hearing "queer" as a slur, because they suffered more bigotry and hatred than this generation of LGBT people will ever experience and paved the way for them to exist. Saying "It's an identity not a slur" is kind of an insulting and ignorant simplification and it makes me ache for the people who grew up being called "queer" as an act of verbal violence.

Okay, puh, I always try to be cautious with this kind of discourse because, as your ask already indicated, there are a lot of people in the lgbtq+ community who have experienced bullying, harassment and worse for their identity and who might associate trauma with one word or another and i absolutely want to be respectful of that.

Here's the thing. Every word that I can think of, every label that lgbtq+ people ever used, has been used as a slur by some people at some point.

Obviously, this differs from region to region and also depends on the timeperiod.

I, for example, am from Germany. The most common colloquial term for gay men here is "schwul". (Used for and by homosexual men, mostly, not bi or others as far as i know) It's what people use in everyday life, it's what most gay men I know use to label themselves. Yet, it was and still is (though I hope to a lesser degree. I don't have data on this) one of the most common slurs used to indicate distaste. I can't tell you how many times I heard "das ist ja schwul" (that's so gay) from my classmates growing up. Literally about anything they didn't like. I'm not even quite sure they knew what they were saying back then, but they still used it because the association schwul=bad was so ingrained into them.

Nowadays, there's more awareness, but that stigma is obviously still there in some parts of the culture. And still, gay men in Germany use "schwul" for themselves. They reclaimed it and continue to reclaim it.

That is not to way that it is a must to use any label if it makes you uncomfortable! I understand if some people can't do that. If there's too mich trauma involved. I will never force the label "queer" on anyone. If someone tells me "I don't want to be called queer", I will respect that, no questions asked, for precicely the reasons you named in your ask.

You're also right in saying that "it's an identity not a slur" is a simplification. Because while it is an identity, it has also been used as a slur. Just like about every other term referring to lgbtq+ people.

But queer has been around for a very long time. "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it" was not invented on tumblr in 2015. Similarly "queer studies" as a scientific field emerged in the 1980s. Queer is also the most inclusive umbrella term i can think of. Queer can cover everyone who is not cis or hetero. For that I love it! And it has been really important for me growing up. It helped me realise that i don't have to fogure out every single thing about my identity to belong somewhere. (Because guess what, i got intruder syndrom, even when it comes to my queer identity)

Language is always in flux and that means the same terms will mean different things to different people. (Think about how older trans folks use transsexual and transvestite vs how younger trans people understand those terms). I honestly think that a lot of discourse on tumblr (but also irl. The current level of political discourse in many western countries is a prime example) only gets as contentious as it does because we speak profoundly different languages. Ultimately, our positions aren't that far removed from each other, but we frame them so differently that we end up misunderstanding each others intentions. (I urge everyone to read an article or book on political framing. It's eye opening.)

This is why i think the question whether queer is a slur or not has been blown wildly out of proportion. It's not what this community should focus it's energy on. It is for some, it's not for others. But lgbtq+ people are still being discriminated against in various forms all over the world and i think we should not hinge our support of them on whether or not they use the same language to describe themselves as we do.

(And the infighting this causes is truly horrible. Your ask is very respectful, anon, but the kind of harassment I've seen people get because they use queer as a label or umbrella term is completely unacceptable.)

All we can do, imo, is accept the labels others use for themselves, understand that we have to be respectful of each other's pain and personal and cultural history and tackle the substantial problems the queer community still faces to this day.

[crazy-acey-hate-blog]

It’s literally not comparable. Gay is a sexual identity. We all recognize that it means a person who is (exclusively) SSA/SGA. Queer, however, is a insult that targets LGBT+ and GNC people (of which there is often much overlap) and has a strong negative connotation for many people. It’s one thing to reclaim a slur for yourself, but intentionally subjecting others to see it despite requests to tag it for blacklisting and even going as far as to ascribe it to a group that has a substancial percentage of people who do not want to be associated with it is unacceptable.

“Bigots” Buddy it’s a slur and people are often triggered by slurs. Also let’s not ignore the hypocrisy of acey telling someone to “just unfollow” when they continue to get upset when someone unfollows them without telling them why. So you can’t tell them you’re unfollowing for untagged slurs because they’ll get mad, and you can’t just unfollow them without saying anything because... they’ll get mad? It’s manipulation and abuse tactics, babe.

[hpconsentfest]

Consent Fest 2019: Masterlist

CF friends--here we are. After months of prompting, creating, betaing, revising, reading, hyping, squeeing, and guessing, it’s time for reveals. 

As with last year, the mods were staggered by the depth of thought and care and time and energy that everyone put into their creations. Likewise, we were heartened every time we saw a like, reblog, kudos, comment, or other hype.

Thank you to every creators and every reader and hyper for giving this fest such a wonderful, community vibe--you folks make CF.

<3

Now, without further ado, read on for reveals!

ART

Title: Coming loose Artist: @owlpostart Prompt: #80 Rating: E Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Lots of very pornographic NSFW drawings,  internalised acephobia, unenjoyable sex, bite and blood fetish.   Summary: Pansy Parkinson has a lot of sex. Until she realises that it’s okay to not want to. Medium: Ink and marker on paper

 Title: Human, Not Object Artist: @nifflers-n-nargles Prompt: #23 Rating: Teen Warnings/Content Notes: Street harassment, cat calling, unsolicited touching, verbal harassment of a sexual nature, fighting back, defiant woman, powerful woman Summary: Fleur Delacour has endured harassment of all kinds from men from a young age. Growing up she’s told that’s “just what men do.” As a powerful woman learning to navigate the world she finds this mentality unacceptable and chooses to live her life defiantly. Medium: Digital

 Title: Something they don’t want to be afraid of Artist: @impasseart Prompt: # 21 Rating: explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia, unenjoyable sex in a flashback See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco struggles with his internalized homophobia and fears, even when he really wants something. Last time, it went ugly. And ugly won’t do. They have to try again. Find a way to make it better. Medium: digital art

 Title: Who They Are Artist: @spaceaas Prompt: #15 Rating: G Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: genderqueer/nonbinary character, minor transphobia that is more unintended ignorance than anything else Summary: Draco’s always known who they are. They’ve just been waiting for someone to listen. Medium: Digital

FIC

Title: All The Little Signs Add Up Author: @gold-from-straw Prompt: # 49 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Past domestic abuse, past child abuse Summary: Harry starts to notice some worrying signs in his relationship with Draco. He flinches when Harry moves too quickly, he thinks everything is going to be blamed on him, and he doesn’t think his own desires count. Harry, fresh from dealing with his own childhood PTSD, jumps to some conclusions. Some of them are right, some of them are way off. Word Count: 9624

 Title: Blind Item #3 Author: @postjentacular Prompt: #88 Rating: T Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes:  tabloids, right to privacy, forced outing, homophobic slurs, rated T for swearing, british sixteen year old talking about sex, blink and you’ll miss it threat of sexual violence Summary:  What’s the ssssecret doing the rounds in a certain common room? Rumour has it that the other snakes have been turning a blind eye to this burgeoning love affair, but what will the boys’ fathers say when they hear about it?   Word Count: 7064

Title: Blood Will Out Author: @frnklymrshnkly Prompt: # 87 Rating: T Pairing: Marietta Edgecombe/Pansy Parkinson Warnings/Content Notes: menstruation, PMS, endometriosis, heavy bleeding, cramps, intense period pain, Healers, doctors, hospitals, exams, critique of Healing and medical institutions, family secrets, memory modification, horrible parenting, blood status discourse, self-reflection redemption arcs See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Marietta Edgecombe doesn’t need re-education. She’s done nothing wrong. She just wants to keep her head down and keep her job. At least until Pansy Parkinson starts acting weird and a visit to the Healer suddenly brings the post-war conversation too close for comfort. Word Count: 21565

 Title: Capture the moment (Capture my heart) Author: @all-drarry-to-me Prompt number: 24 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual Draco Malfoy, Demisexuality, Queer Character, Brief mention (from previous encounter) of Mildly Dubious Consent, Photographs, Minor Luna Lovegood/Pansy Parkinson, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Summary: Surrounded by photographs with just a cat to keep him company, Draco was left questioning his identity and what a new label would mean for his relationship with Harry. Word Count: 9,612

Title: Curry & Wine Author: @dorthyanndrarry Prompt: # 35 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Mentions of main character being pressured to have sex in the past Summary:  Harry’s promised Draco their first proper date. What could be better than homemade curry, a little wine, a much-needed talk? Word Count: 1,651

Title: Epoximise Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #10 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Consent Notes: Press and Tabloids, Dom/Sub Play, Sub Harry Potter, Dom Draco Malfoy, Sex Magic, Kink Spells, Coming on Demand, Dildos, Magic used as a Restraint, Panic Attacks, Discussion about Consent, Discussion about setting Ground Rules before Sexual Activity, Discussion about Safe Words, Sexual Triggers. Word count: 2487

Title: Forbidden Fruit Author: @momstiel Prompt: # 15 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia Summary: “To Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter had always been akin to forbidden fruit.” In which Harry comes out as genderqueer, and Draco envies his self-confidence. Word Count: 1,907 

 Title: The Generation Who Lived Author: @lettersbyelise Prompt: # 11 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Journalist Draco Malfoy, Enemies to lovers, Past relationship, Getting back together, Minor Luna/Neville, Minor Ginny/Blaise, Interview format, Post second war with Voldemort, Enthusiastic consent, Rimming, Anal sex, POV Draco Malfoy Summary: In the months leading up to the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy writes a series of articles about famous war survivors.

So far, he’s managed to interview everyone he wanted.

Everyone…except his old nemesis, his one-time lover, and the elusive war hero who stubbornly refuses to be featured in Draco’s interview series, Harry Potter. Word Count: 14761

Title:I See You In The Club Author: Elle Gray (LGray) Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/OMC Warnings/Content Notes: Sex club, Dom/sub play, Light Bondage, Age difference, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent due to Identity Issues, Ruminating on the Topic of Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco, recently divorced (for the second time) is finally free to explore ‘other interests’. In particular, reconnecting with some long-put-aside desires to play with dominance. He’s not confident in what he’s doing, but he’s done his research, and surely this delectable young thing, kneeling in wait for him, can help?

'Hello,’ he says, and feels immediately stupid.

'Hello, Sir,’ Alex says, his voice low, barely above a whisper. Draco wonders if it’s an effort to sound sexy, or show submission, or if his throat is so well-fucked by others that he can no longer talk. He doesn’t even know if it matters. Word Count: 12909

Title: Knights in Shining Armour (Ever After Lovers) Author: @thirdeyeblinkings Prompt #: 23 Rating: M Pairing: Bill Weasley/Fleur Delacour Warnings: No major archive warnings See tagset on AO3 Summary: Fleur has been objectified for most of her life, her bodily autonomy often dismissed. Being part Veela only makes matters worse. Word Count: 8.6 k

Title: Like The Sun Author: @marlenemckinn Prompt:  #78 Rating: T Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black Warnings/Content Notes: Unaware Veritaserum consumption See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Sirius wants a good laugh and when he comes across some Veritaserum, he decides slipping into Remus Lupin’s, the ever guarded werewolf, pumpkin juice will be a great way to start their day. Remus ends up revealing a bit more than Sirius had anticipated. Word Count: 4033

 Title: Lily Luna, Unapologetic: The Things We Don’t Talk About (But Should) Author: @nifflers-n-nargles and @slashfoxes  Prompt: #39 Rating: Hard T Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Implied Dubcon/Noncon, Offscreen Dubcon/Noncon, Implied Violence (offscreen), Implied vs Explicit Consent, Consent Issues, Teaching Consent, Sex Education, Peer Pressure, Harry Potter Next Generation, Badass!Lily Luna, When Internet Meets Magic, Alternative format: magazine profile Summary: “Before I can get my first question out Lily asks me, ‘When was the first time someone gave you a sex talk?’I find myself telling her about overhearing my mom in my older sister’s room when she was home on hols from Hogwarts in her fourth year—I was 10 and had just received my letter. It was the year there had been a string of love potion ‘accidents’ and I could tell my mum was worried.

She nods and jots something down in her notebook. As I continue telling her about these memories, I wonder why I’m sharing all this information with Lily. Aren’t I the one supposed to be interviewing her?

‘That sounds awful,’ she commiserates, ‘but can I ask you one more thing?’ I nod, curiosity piqued by her tone. ‘When was the first time someone talked to you about consent?’” Word Count: ~8,000

 Title: Long live the beautiful heart (who find love and tear it apart) Author: @etalice Prompt: #46 Rating: GEN Pairing: Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Angst, Depression, Abusive relationship See full tagset on AO3 Summary: If Harry were someone else, someone who loves and understand books, someone like Hermione or Draco, he might think of a classical tragedy. He might section the whole catastrophe neatly into five acts and make sense of it that way. But he’s not, and so he doesn’t, and, anyway it’s just the beginning of the story yet. Word Count: 6630

Title: (Never) Be Still My Beating Heart Author: @sliceosunshine Prompt: Self-Prompt Rating: M Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes:  Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Trauma,  Violence, some blood, Vampires, Light Dubcon Parallels, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, further explanation of dubcon tag in A/N See full tagset on AO3 Summary:  Post-War, Draco decides he’s done being comfortable. Which turns out to be quite convenient as he’s thrust headlong into a case involving a Serial Biting Vampire. Worst of all, Potter’s gotten himself involved. Draco thinks he can take it, so long as his heart doesn’t give out on him along the way.   Word Count:  15595  

 Title: a note to the boy I love Author: @violetclarity Prompt: # 81 Rating: E Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings: Underage See full tagset on AO3 Content Notes: epistolary, first person POV, established relationship, school romance, communication, consent, sexting except in letters because they are wizards, underage in that they are both seventeen (17), first time, loss of virginity (but that’s a social construct anyway), letter writing, dirty talk (sort of), vignettes, kissing, frottage, dry humping, oral sex, love confessions, boys in love Summary: Albus knows what he wants to do in bed with Scorpius, but struggles with actually talking about it. Scorpius’s solution? Writing letters. Word Count: 4,359

Title: A pink tie, a box of condoms Author: Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe Prompt: 52 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: See tagset on AO3 Summary: It had been months since they’d last seen each other.  And if Potter didn’t show up soon… Word Count: 1459

 Title: One and Only Author: @nerdherderette Prompt: # 20 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Draco Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes: Bodyguard AU, Bodyguard!Draco, Minister for Magic!Harry Potter, Pansexual Albus Potter, Potions Accident, Forced Bonding, Sharing a Bed, Legilimency, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Frottage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Bottom!Draco Malfoy, Age Difference, Implied/Reference Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, References to Addiction, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Eventual Consensual Relationship, Romance Summary: Draco always knew his downfall would be at the hands of a Potter.He just never realised which one. Word Count: 19.6k

Title: Risks Worth Taking Author: @keyflight790 Prompt: 83 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Light BDSM, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Harry broke up 78 nights ago. Only a miracle (or perhaps an errant spell) could bring them back together. Word Count: 18,149

  Title: Ron Weasley and the Clothes of Doom Author: Liesha130 Prompt: #86 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Blaise Zabini/Ron Weasley Warnings/Content Notes: (I honestly don’t know) Summary: Do the clothes make the man?Ron Weasley thinks he has no chance, until one night when he dresses up and Blaise Zabini can’t take his eyes off him. The solution is easy, then, right? Ron just has to keep dressing up, and Blaise will keep wanting him. But every time Ron puts the new clothes on, he’s sent spiraling off into a past filled with insecurity. Will he really be able to keep this up without going completely bonkers? And what does Blaise actually want from him, anyway? Word Count: 32,872

Title: Safe Words Author: @e-sebastian Prompt: # 47 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Consent, BDSM, Bondage, Whipping, Safe words, Safe Sane and Consensual, Kink, Family Drama, lots of book reading, Dirty Talk, Slapping, Kink Negotiation, Rough Sex, Accidental Bodily Harm, Remorse, Weasley Bashing, Molly Bashing, but please know it’s from Draco’s admittedly skewed perspective, In this house we love Molly Weasley to death even if our characters don’t always, Married couples are kinky too Summary: Draco discovers his husband has been keeping a secret from him. At first he’s amused. Then he’s curious.

The problem? Harry’s always had a hard time saying no. Word Count: 26,867

Title: Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of All Ages Author: AhaMarimbas Prompt: # 68 Rating: E Pairing: Multi-ship Warnings/Content Notes: Major Character Death, Underage, Explicit sexual content See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Astoria decide on their wedding night that they’re not going to raise their future children with the same outdated traditions they were raised with, especially relating to love and sex. They never could have predicted exactly how much that decision would change Scorpius’ life. Word Count: 76 732

 Title: So sweet with that blood in your teeth Author: @bangyababy Prompt: # 16 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Dom/Sub, Consent issues, vampires, sleep issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mind manipulation, depression See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Harry works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. His latest case his to stop a vampire uprising lead by none other than Draco Malfoy. Malfoy seems willing to negotiate with the Ministry. There’s just one small condition: Harry has to agree to be Malfoy’s dinner. Word Count: 25k

 Title: swallow your words Author: @candybarrnerd Prompt: # 67 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter  Warnings/Content Notes: No archive warnings apply Summary: The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They’ll turn up when they want and not before.

The truth is, you don’t get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that. Word Count: 9,140

Title: That’s Ace Author: @acciotomriddle Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Explicit Pairing: Charlie Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual character, bisexual character, sex toys, non-penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, monogamy Summary:  Charlie is asexual. Harry isn’t. They still find a way to satisfy both of their needs, however   Word Count: 2080

 Title: They Talked Author: @unadulteratedstorycollector Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Teen Pairing: Ron & Draco (platonic) Warnings/Content Notes: none Summary:  Is it ok if they talk? Draco isn’t sure, but it keeps happening. Word Count: 1094

 Title: This Year’s Love Author: @thusspoketrish Prompt: Self-Prompt. H/D—how to navigate feelings for your best mate. Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: This story discusses complex topics such as slut-shaming, promiscuity, heartbreak, dating culture(s), and sexual autonomy within everyday life. See full tagset on AO3 Summary: This year’s love had better last, heaven knows it’s high time when you try to make lovers from friends. But Harry Potter realises time and time again that it’s simply not possible for him. And then along comes Draco Malfoy— the ultimate foe on the mend. Whatever will become of them? A story about love. Word Count: 84000

Title: A Touch Of Respect Author: @rose-grangerweasleyisbae Prompt: #90 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Family Drama, Touch Phobia, Panic Attacks, Old Fashioned Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Minor Character Death (Astoria), Past Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter, Child in Hospital Summary: Five year old Scorpius isn’t fond of people touching him, and he has a million reasons for it. However, his father is of the opinion that just saying ‘no’ should be enough without giving any of those reasons, but not everyone in his new-found family agrees. Word Count: 23.432

Title: Unconditional Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #32 Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Consent Notes: Anxiety, Boys in Love, First Boyfriend, First Kiss, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Feelings of Inadequacy in a relationship, Discussions of Pyschological and Emotional Manipulation, Relationship Discussions, non-consensual touching, Scorpius gives good advice, Mild Bigoted Language to describe Asexuality, Discussions about Healthy Relationships, Demisexual Albus Potter, Awakening Feelings of Desire, Eventual happy Ending. Word count: 7277

 Title: The Way Your Heart Touches Mine Author: @bafflinghaze Prompt: # 56 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: N/A Summary: What does it mean when a certain someone gives you numerous gifts on ordinary days? Harry’s kind of sure (and mostly hoping) that Draco likes him. So why hasn’t Draco asked him out yet? Word Count: 3.9k

 Title: The Words that Pass Between Us Author: @elderxprice Prompt: # 28 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: POV Draco Malfoy; Invasion of Privacy; Loss of Trust; Infidelity; Misogyny, Classism, Unredeemed Draco Malfoy, Verbal Abuse of a House Elf  Summary: Sometimes, Draco draws pictures of what could have been, had he made all the right choices: Draco in the Slug Club; Draco holding the Quidditch World Cup; Draco holding hands with some nameless, faceless person whose become some sick, secret sort of friend. He’s on every page Draco has touched. He flies with him, sleeps with him, laughs with him. And sometimes, if he pretends hard enough, Draco swears he can feel this person’s breath against his neck; a whispered I love you that has him pressing into the mattress every night, only to wake up alone wishing it were real. Word Count: 10,047

 Title: Working Out The Kinks Author: @potter-loves-malfoy Prompt: #18 Rating: E Pairing: Jeddy Warnings/Content Notes: Mild Dom/Sub Elements, Mild DubCon See full tagset on AO3 Summary:

There are three things James Sirius Potter is certain of:

One: He’s loved his boyfriend since he learned what romantic love was;

Two: There is nothing James wants more than said boyfriend to pound him into the mattress;

Three: His boyfriend, Teddy Lupin, can never find out about number two.

—or—

Four times James tried to pretend he wasn’t submissive and the one time he didn’t.

Word Count: 6,247

 Title: You Set My Soul Alight Author: @parkkate Prompt: #13 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Post-War, Auror partners, case fic, enemies to lovers, mystery, romance, adventure, pining, getting together, forced proximity, bed sharing, banter, UST, loss of virginity, first time, dub-con, consent issues, secrets, misunderstandings, miscommunication, sleep talking, frottage, rimming, face-sitting, intergluteal sex, anal sex, switching, blow jobs, fluff, angst, angst with a happy ending, references to suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, references to depression, mental health issues, emotional hurt/comfort, minor character death, arguing, reconciliation, ewe Summary: Students are going missing at Hogwarts, but that’s not the only mystery Draco is determined to solve. Something’s going on with Potter. He can deny it all he wants. Draco is going to find out what it is. Unfortunately, trying to get to the bottom of it has some unexpected consequences and if Draco isn’t careful, he’s going to jeopardise their mission. Word Count: 54k

[dgcatanisiri]

The key to any good adaption is understanding a certain set of things.

1. Don’t be afraid to update the source material. Yes, even if it’s “timeless.”

All media is a product of its time, so you need to recognize that what worked for the original will not necessarily translate for the new audience. If a basic conceit of your product is a certain societal mindset is the norm (just, for example, that “homosexuality is inherently bad,” or “transgender people are inherently hilarious,” or “a woman’s place is unquestionably in the home”), you’re probably best off just packing it in then and there, it’s not going to work. Society evolves, times change, and while we can let these things slide for media that is older, we do not extend this same slack to media made now.

There’s a reason that a lot of stagings of something like Taming of the Shrew, or more modern adaptations like Kiss Me Kate or 10 Things I Hate About You, will often twist what is, on the page, Kate’s “tameness” being a show for the sake of winning the wager, that she is merely performing what is expected of her, while still maintaining her own independence and attitude, and that she has learned that she could use this performance to make Petruchio do as she wanted, or even that the both of them are in on it and have found an equal in the other - in the 15th century, “taming” a “shrew” was considered how one was supposed to be, that a woman was supposed to be subservient to her husband, and that her being so brash and bold from the start was already pushing the values of Shakespeare’s original audience. 

And this is the case of adapting something even as recent as ten, fifteen, twenty years ago - society has changed, and it’s recognized that what was seen as acceptable then was actually punching down at marginalized groups. That’s not funny. Comedy is the quickest genre to age, and the most likely to age poorly. Look at any given 90s romcom and you’ll notice a LOT of issues - the heteronormativity, where no one is gay (aside from MAYBE a single token character), the cast is mostly white - there may, at most, be a black best friend who may or may not be paired up with someone who literally exists for the purpose of arm candy, and you might spot an extra or two in the background, and they’ll use words that we now recognize as slurs so casually you’ll have to go back to realize yeah, they actually said that. And that’s not even scratching the surface.

When it comes to coming to an old piece of media and deciding “I want to do this again,” you absolutely MUST recognize what is no longer acceptable. And if the baseline concept of your selected media is something unacceptable, put aside the dream, this will not end well for you if you attempt to go through with it.

2. Recognize what works and what doesn’t for your medium.

This is something more for straightforward adaptations - book to movie, movie to TV show, stage to screen, etc. A change in medium is going to require a change to the material. It just is. This is why, for example, straight adaptations of video games are extremely hard to pull off - you’re changing an interactive media to a noninteractive one, and, in a lot of cases, that guts the core investment. It’s one thing to play Lara Croft as she raids the tombs, doing the platforming and puzzle challenges yourself. But as a movie, just taking any given game and making a direct 1:1 reshoot, you’re basically just watching her do the same thing with no involvement yourself, and, as a result, you end up watching a glorified cutscene.

It’s the same with stage to screen. Theatre is a medium of its own, with its own internal logic, rules, and structure. In theatre, a character can address the audience, it’s accepted. It doesn’t quite work as well on screen. (For further expansion, there’s a segment of Lindsay Ellis’s video essay on Mel Brooks and The Ethics of Satire that discusses how this works for the stage version of The Producers, but fizzled out in the 2006 film adaptation.) This is often a problem in film adaptations of stage musicals, that the directors don’t know what to focus on or how to film a large group of people, dancing and singing, so, while there’s some general competence, a lot of the film directors don’t have the same eye for them that they would in a straightforward dialogue-driven movie. Stopping the dramatic interaction between two people for what is, in effect, a symbolic struggle as they exchange heated high notes throws off the momentum of a director who knows how to stage the actors and move the camera in a direct argument, but gets confused when both parties dance across the soundstage all through the scene.

Likewise, books allow the audience to understand what is going through a character’s head during a scene, we are able to hear their thoughts and recognize what they’re doing without the character ever speaking a word. That is a luxury film’s nature doesn’t offer. Voice overs are a frequent way around this, but that too is limiting, generally forcing the film into a single viewpoint, which may not be how the narrative was structured. So this is where establishing dialogue has to be included.

This can be a problem, though, as the screenwriter may have a different style than the original writer, so, instead of transplanting dialogue, they have to come up with their own words, which can often end up just being an exposition dump. It can be done, but it is a tightrope walk.

3. Understand what can and can’t be cut.

A frequent problem of adaptations, especially to film, is that they are drawing on source material that maybe be, in a direct, 1:1 adaptation of the original, too long for a modern adaptation. This is a frequent issue with the Harry Potter adaptations, for example, where to cover all of the events of just the first book, would probably have clocked in at three and a half, even four hours, and they only got longer from there. Some things just had to go.

Which is a problem, because for the most part, if something is in the source material, it is there for a reason. Foreshadowing, character establishment, worldbuilding, whatever, there is a reason that any content is included in the first place. 

So you need to find ways to either condense or work around things - going back to Harry Potter, as a character, while he’d had his uses in the books, Peeves’s contribution to the overall tapestry of the series was small enough that he could be removed. Same with a character like Professor Binns, whose largest contribution was the exposition of the Chamber of Secrets, could have that shunted over to a character like Professor McGonagall, with no need to hire another actor for one scene and account for this character later (this later came into play with characters like Professor Trelawney, who appeared in all the books after her introduction, but not every film). 

The runtime makes a difference, especially given how much we see movies try to have as many showing per day as they can - the shorter the film, the more times it can be shown. So you need to know what can go and what can be condensed. 

But this can backfire - cutting a scene can often remove important context and characterization, even if it’s short or small. Star Trek, the 09 film, cut a scene between young James Kirk and his older brother. Now, it’s not really that important in this adaptation that Kirk has an older brother, so on paper, yeah, this scene getting cut made sense. BUT this scene featured Kirk’s older brother walking out because of the abuse being inflicted on them by “Uncle Frank,” and how he intended to sell their father’s car, how Frank was denying James Kirk a sense of being who he was, telling him “You’re no one.” This is what leads to the reckless theft of said car that did make it into the final cut, and made that joyride less into a moment of “fuck the man, I do what I want,” and more of a moment of declaration of him trying to find himself (and makes this kid shouting to the robo-cop “My name is James Tiberius Kirk!” less of a cutesy way of getting in the character’s full name and more a way of, again, showing him declaring who he is.) It also shows James Kirk’s desire for justice and fairness for people, a VERY important element for this character, showing him standing up for his older brother, ostensibly someone who should be standing up for him instead. This is a pretty big characterization moment that got cut, presumably because the casual audience didn’t know that Kirk had an older brother.

I realize that this is using a cut scene from the film script and not a direct adaptation, but I think that’s an important thing to bring up anyway, given that Star Trek 09 was an adaptation of a three year TV series - of course they had to condense, launch arcs that successive movies could pick up, all of that. But they still needed to establish these characters. By cutting this scene, you lose that core nugget of Kirk’s character, and we’re left with reckless asshole Kirk, the character a lot of people thought didn’t deserve the center chair by the end of the movie because moments like this didn’t make the final cut.

Know your story, know your characters, and understand how to keep their core identities while still cutting the things you can’t keep, because of medium changes or runtime concerns.

4. What new elements are you bringing to the table?

If you’re making a new adaptation of something, WHY are you making it? What is the benefit of not just a new version of old material, but even what makes YOU the correct storyteller?

Let’s give another example here. Let’s say that I am given the green light to go for a new adaptation of... oh, let’s say Superman’s early years, we’re ten years out from the end of Smallville, surely someone’s gonna start kicking that around eventually, let’s go with it here and now. My requirements are to keep the baseline of Smallville for a new show - high school Clark Kent, no flights, no tights to start with, developing, growing powers, friendship with Lex Luthor, same core cast to start with (so Clark, Pete, Chloe, Lana, Whitney, Lex, Lionel, Martha, and Jonathan), basically start the series fresh from the point of the original series’s pilot. How I go from there is up to me, re: how much/how little to incorporate from later in the series, when powers develop and in what order, when to introduce other characters... I just basically have to start fresh with the same components of Smallville that the original had.

So when given these components, I feel it is my obligation to create a new picture with them, because to just retread the old material, updates to the time and cast notwithstanding, is saying I don’t see this as worth doing anything different. And if that’s the case, why bother? It is incumbent on me to do different things with these pieces - maybe in this version, Lana’s a lesbian and dating Chloe, which mostly puts to bed the Clark-Lana relationship (or maybe she briefly uses Clark as a beard to cover her attraction). Whitney can become a part of the core cast, instead of being like the only opening credits characters who never learns Clark’s secret. Pete’s known about Clark’s powers for years. The meteor freaks ...okay, no, I’m calling them ‘metahumans’ from the start here, are going to be a more persistent element to the central struggle - none of the convenient karmic killing, Clark has to deal with the consequences of these characters having enhanced abilities, not just have them conveniently fall down and break their neck or something. Lex ends up brought into the core group, and it becomes a central conflict of his character arc that he may actually have the potential to not be the ultimate villain - this is an adaptation, it’s entirely possible that Lex being the bad guy is NOT a foregone conclusion, especially if one wants to take the moral of “nothing is written in stone, there is no fate.”

...shit, now I actually WANT to do this version...

See, that’s taking the same pieces and making a new picture with them. Because if you’re just going to redo the original, just let the original air in place of your new thing, because you have made no effort to change anything other than the bare minimum. Hell, even Smallville brought something new to the table by creating Chloe Sullivan, who did not exist in Superman media before, but has since appeared sporadically in the comics. 

Don’t just tell the same old story to tell the same old story. Bring something new to the table. If you’re really lucky, you may just add something that becomes so definitive to the franchise, when people talk about it later, they’ll wonder why it wasn’t there to begin with - another DC hero example, look at Batman the Animated Series, without which we would not have either Harley Quinn or Victor Fries’s tragic backstory, yet now both are considered iconic and core to the franchise and the character, respectively.

[itslmdee]

asexual awareness week 2018

t’s Asexual Awareness Week. I’m not creating anything this year but I have tags for my previous asexual awareness week posts at my other journal, and a tag for all posts including meta and fiction looking at asexuality, theme: asexuality spectrum. I have some of those also posted as at WordPress tagged sexuality: asexuality and tag posts I’ve made or reblogged at tumblr as asexuality

There’s been pushback against asexuality in some places. Some tumblr posts insist that asexuals aren’t “oppressed enough” to be consider part of the LGBT+ community (those posts insist “queer is a slur” too despite significant commentary to the contrary on how important the reclaiming and use of the term is for many.) There are posts accusing people of “sexualising” children by saying that we should acknowledge more than just heterosexual romantic and sexual attraction. That telling someone you’re asexual is “unneccessary” and exposing them to “information about your sex life”. Posts saying asexuals just need hormones or counselling or to be raped. Posts saying that asexual posts confuse people and prevent them from being gay because of “internalised homophobia”.

Most of those things have been, and in some cases, still are used as fodder against other queer groups. “Trans people aren’t allowed in gay spaces because a transman with a woman is heterosexual” “Bihets aren’t allowed in gay spaces!” (ie a bi/pansexual person in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender. The term bihet erases bisexuality by making same sex relationships gay, opposite sex relationships straight, and ignores trans people and nonbinary identities) “Don’t mention lebsians or women won’t get married as they should.” “Stop mentioning you’re gay, you’re throwing your sexuality in my face!” (As they wear a wedding ring and have a photo of their wife on their desk, secure in displays of heterosexuality) “You’re not a gay man or a transwomen, you just need more testosterone and to pray harder to be the straight man you should be.” “She won’t be a lesbian after I’ve f*cked her”

There’s been some interesting discussion about the Russian bots that infiltrated Tumblr and the rise of dissent amongst queer groups; “gold star lesbian” rhetoric, posts that are anti-bisexual and anti-asexual, a rise in TERF posts centering womanhood on menstruation and reproduction. It’s awful and it’s unacceptable.

If you don’t know anything about asexuality there’s a primer here and a lot of other links in this Asexual Awareness Week 2017 post.

Thanks for reading.

[emileewilson]

THE G WORD

 I wrote this blog months ago. It’s time to share my story and some exciting news! I’m re-branding my business to include herbal education, workshops, and more! The entrepreneurial journey has been fun for me as I grow and expand my offerings. I am so happy to offer skincare and beauty services, but my practice has evolved into so much more. The following true story is told from my heart and I hope you’ll embrace my new brand with enthusiasm and support.  This is my story from Gypsy Skin Spa to Wild N Rooted. 

 It has been brought to my attention recently that a word exists. This word is part of our English language and our cosmology. This word has many meanings, it is powerful, controversial, and mysterious.

 Gypsy.

 Some people believe it to be a racial slur, others believe it to be a lifestyle and some have no idea what the word is, means, where it comes from, how to say it, or even care. You can see where this may cause some issues and concerns. Due to its controversial nature, I used it once, but will refrain from using it moving forward out of respect for those reading this who deem it offensive.

 This is my story and how I birthed my lifestyle brand in 2015. This word resonates with me deeply in a very authentic way. It is an expression of my being.  After being attacked online and accused of being a racist, I strongly felt the need to tell my story. I want to talk about it. This dilemma, this idea, this age of offending is an opportunity for education and to begin co-creating a high vibe around the label.

 You see, our English language is convoluted in historical accounts that many of us didn’t even know existed. For instance, the word “Bucket List” actually comes from hanging someone by “kicking the bucket” out from beneath them before they die. Did you know that Hooligans are associated with the Irish? Vandals, the Germans? The G word are associated with the ethnic group, Roma or Romany, who immigrated into parts of Eastern Europe. The locals thought they were from Egypt or Egyptian (hence gyp) which we now know as they begin to have a voice in literature and other cultural affairs. They identify with Roma, Romani, Romany, or Rroma. I’m what you call a European Mutt, which is essentially a dog mixed with who knows what and I don’t like it very much. Alas, society has deemed that description appropriate.

 My focus is on the positive aspects of the G word discussion and how we can use it to free the people under this guise, not slander them. More importantly, that we stop grouping people together and/or generalizing, stereotyping subgroups of people or minorities in the first place.  There are good people and bad people. Period. There are all types of different people in this world. I mean, there are ALOT of us!  We have different ideas, perspectives, opinions, customs, foods, languages, fashions, economics, currency, status, religions, and experiences. This all happens simultaneously as life spirals along, upwards and outwards.

  My personal story regarding this particular identity began when I was 30 years old, also known as my Saturn Return, when the walls around me would literally come crashing down. My roommates and I were residing in Marina Del Rey, CA and we all lived peaceful, independent lives. A large development company purchased the property and our landlord told us to vacate. During this time, I also lost my job and couldn’t afford to pay my bills. A dance troupe that I created and adored fell apart at the seams and my Grandmother passed away. I went on unemployment and moved back in with my parents. Welcome to the Boomerang Generation.

 Although grateful for this landing, it was uncomfortable. I got a part time job in a small salon, but my business couldn’t thrive without clientele.  Soon enough, I decided to go back to College in Fullerton and soon I found myself back in Los Angeles living in West Hollywood. This was an interesting time. I had ditched an abusive boyfriend, my car was broken into, very important documents like college homework and documentary drafts were stolen. I was drunk most of the time falling into a deep state of depression. I had also discovered Ayahuasca as a medicine, something that would change my life in the most extraordinary way.

 Still to come at 32 years old, I was forced to file Bankruptcy, the banks wouldn’t accept my income loss or life changes. Eventually, I found another spa in Redondo Beach, CA and moved into a room with the generous Persian couple who owned it. A month later, I met a nice Indian man in Hawthorne and I rented a room from him. He was a single father with a daughter and a gorgeous white Shepherd named Bella. To supplement my income, I began working as a cocktail waitress while developing my clientele. No more than 3 months later, the restaurant folded. My inappropriate employer kept my last paycheck and I wasn’t making enough money at the spa to live on my own. I moved back to Culver City with my Aunt and shared a room with a friend. I lived there for, you guessed it, about 3 months. During this time, I was able to get another part time job in Santa Monica at a small spa called Petite Spa with a lot of potential, as well as taking up an offer to work for a high- profile ticket broker in Huntington Beach. This led me to a short stint in Orange County. I even got a third job working part time at another day spa. Less than 3 months later, I was fired from the office job and so I quit the esthetic job and moved back to Los Angeles. I found a small studio in Mar Vista, CA. One room, no kitchen, and it became my sacred space for 2 years.

 With hardly anything, but a strong will and a humbled spirit, my private practice as an Esthetician and Herbalist was born. The journey was already under way.

 In 2016 I studied in New York with a wise, old woman named Susun Weed, a Witch. All five of her apprentices were not allowed to say the word “guy.” It was unacceptable around her and she would only accept “Gaia” instead. It was difficult to change my habitual language, but eventually I started to remember. I admired how she created her reality, yet I feared her verbal abuse. Ironic eh? I lived on her land for two weeks and was initiated as a Green Witch, polishing my toe green as the final induction. The Washington Post wrote a great article about the word “guy” and its origins. Although now common language, the Oxford English Dictionary defines it as a “person of grotesque appearance.” When I came back to L.A, I began noticing how many people said “Guy” when referring to myself and women. It really bothered me. I attempted to correct them several times, then held my tongue, then it became plain awkward. Nobody cared. It was a construct. Once I realized my offenders never intended to insult or hurt me, I stopped physically hearing it. I can’t even remember the last time. I know they’re saying it, but I just can’t hear them.  The origin of “guy” has become a fun fact in Etymology. Now it means “a man or woman.” It’s amazing how our language morphs, twists and turns, along with history, experiences and ideologies.  

 Why am I telling you my life story? Well, because it all has to do with the G word. With all of that being said, we are still in a predicament because the G word is STILL used as a derogatory ethnic slur in other parts of the world.  In this very moment. In fact, people all over the world continue to oppress minorities and entire countries still deny genocides and documented accounts of massive human extermination. This pains my heart so. I dream of a peaceful planet where all cultures can learn from one another, respecting the language, food, music, fashion, art, and religious views. May we all migrate toward our tribes. This is a tall order; however, THIS is my focus, not how the G word has dubious meanings around the globe. My work is to continue finding my truth, my voice, and stand up for what I believe in. Of course, my writings and teachings are a part of this. I believe in service to the people, empowering women and leaving the world a cleaner place. It’s that simple.

 There is freedom and oppression within the G word. It has become an archetype. At age 3, my mother chose this as my costume on Halloween, dressing me in a gold scarf, bright red lipstick, blush and hoop earrings (clip on of course!). Let us think about it as an archetype. Like Witch, Faerie, Crone, Goddess, and Bitch, all those that we have reclaimed.  Allow for the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don’t subscribe to living in a paradigm that even allows for racism. Using the word racist and race separates us more than it holds us. I think that for people in the U.S, the G word conjures up feelings of traveling, romance, fashion, mystery, a free spirit, natural living, family, and determination. The irony and most painful part of this archetype is that one group of people on one side of the world felt and feel offended by it, and the other groups in the West have gained wild open-hearted freedom from it. We must ponder as a society, no matter where we were in the past, we are here today and need to continue moving forward together. We cannot suspend each other in the past. As my Mentor once said, “It’s ok to look into the rear-view mirror every once in a while, but you can’t drive the car that way.”  

 I consistently check myself and tune into my energy. When I’m feeling off, I have to take a deep breath and move it into a higher vibration. Living in society with different people has its challenges, but I believe it is our human right to feel happy and free no matter what our circumstances. I wish this upon all cultures. Instead of accepting a slur from the oppressors, the people of Romany are in a great position to reclaim themselves. Let us embrace the real G word and may they come into the light. Let the women tell their stories, entering into evolution. My prayer is that we release the word into the ethers and let peace fall upon the land of the aggrieving. My highest belief about this is that we are one human race thriving together on Planet Earth.

 So here we are back in my studio apartment. I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to create work for myself, with my own two hands. I had to discover my passion, my gifts, and share them with the world. I had to learn from other women and I also promised myself I would stay in one place as long as I could. Humbled by my life on the road, I was finally feeling confident, independent, and free once again. I began embracing my call to the wild, to ceremony, Paganism, the plants, and natural healing methods, reading books, apprenticing, and attending workshops. I studied myself. I studied others. Along with the Magician, The G word was becoming a strong presence in my life.  I still receive gifts to this day that represent G word magic.

What I did not know until recently is that the Romany are STILL being oppressed in Eastern Europe and the G Word is not a nice word at all.

I interviewed a couple Roma men that I found online. I interviewed Romany women who use the term in their business brand. They told me that the prejudices are still occurring against them. They all said they are not personally offended by the word, but warned that others may be. As a woman of mixed European descent, I am always searching for cultural traditions that I can call my own. I grew up with a small family and little tradition.  This is partly why I am so drawn to the archetype and the lifestyle, one that allows me freedom, contrary to what others feel the G word means.  

 I am a privledged white woman. I will use my voice to help others in need. I will continue to lead by example. I am a Lover. I am a Magician. I am a Manifestor. I am not an oppressor. I am not a racist. I AM wild and rooted.

 The Archetype that I felt would continue to represent my journey, my dream, and my passion was Gypsy (oops I said it), but after months of pondering the last three years of my life in the herbal world and reading historical accounts of this word and how misused it has been, it has left a rather bitter taste on my lips. I have decided to evolve myself, my name, and my brand to include more herbal knowledge, medicine making skills, and workshops. A name that I feel will bring the people together. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Things really do happen for a reason and sometimes buttons get pushed for a higher purpose. I will be launching a new website soon so stay tuned!!! I created a name that represents my most divine constitution. A name that is not controversial, or offensive, but one that remains powerful and meaningful to me. I belong to no one.  

 I AM WildNRooted!!  

Emilee Amara

Holistic Facials, Herbalist

[queercapwriting]

Important reminders about identities in our communities and our fiction from @purplesaline​ (edited by me slightly, where indicated, to take out the personal context from which these are drawn).

“Lee made some really good points... I’d also like to understand why [someone’s] identity grants [them] the right to be the arbiter of how a character should be portrayed but someone who is also non-binary and gay isn’t allowed. In many... posts that I’ve read regarding this subject it consistently comes across as... being dismissive of Cap’s identity and othering them from the community. Additionally I’d like to know why [people] seem to think that if an autistic person asks for very specific things in a fic that is representative of their own lived experience it qualifies as bad representation because [someone else doesn’t] relate to it as an autistic person. Is it purely because the person doing the writing is neurotypical (or assumed to be)? I might be able to give more credit to that logic if they had done it of their own volition but they were essentially acting as a ghost writer. It’s sounding an awful lot like [people] are allowed to demand people represent an identity [they] inhabit in a way that [they] relate to but that other people who share the same identity but have a different lived experience than [others] aren’t allowed to ask for that shared identity to mirror them. [People in our communities sometimes] say that these other representations are harmful and problematic because they don’t fall in line with [everyone’s] lived experiences but in disclaiming those representations [it is] harming people. There is no single way to be any identity whether it’s a gender identity or a sexual orientation or neurodiversity or any other identity out there and because of that you’re going to find honest representations of that identity that can read as stereotypical because sometimes a persons lived experience of their identity falls in line with the stereotypes. It is unfair to invalidate their lived experience of their identity, it is harmful to invalidate their lived experience of their identity. What is problematic is not that that example of an identity exists but that there is not a more diverse sampling of the different ways people can inhabit the same identity. And as a final point I have a HUGE problem with [people] deciding that just because characters have been portrayed as having sex in canon that it negates any chance of them being portrayed as Ace forever after. Having had sex doesn’t not disqualify someone from being Asexual. There are many reasons why someone who is asexual might have sex, not least of which is that they hadn’t come to the realization that they were asexual. I think [people’s] arguments would hold more water if this was a discussion about the representation on the show itself rather than fan service fiction and would hold more water if the fanfic world was lacking in the very representation [some of us] claiming to be the ‘correct’ one but even if we just look at the microcosm of QCW’s fic library alone there are multiple fics representing each of a wide variety of identities. How [someone] can claim Identity Erasure when there are ten fics representing the canon identity to every one fic representing an alternate identity i really don’t understand. One of the biggest draws for people about fanfic is the ability to change canon in a way that allows them to relate more completely to the characters and/or the show and to me that’s one of the best things about it. To try to police that? You come across as an elitist gatekeeper deciding who is or is not worthy of gaining entrance to the VIP club. Doesn’t the LGBTQIA2+ community deserve better than that? We’ve already got far too many cishet people telling us that we’re not worthy of being in mainstream society, let’s not mirror their actions in our own community. While [people in our communities’] criticism of representation that [people] find harmful to [their] lived experience of [their] identity is certainly allowed, [the] policing of the way other people express and represent their own lived experiences of their identities (even if that is through a proxy) is unacceptable...”

and 

“Okay so, first of all? Queer and Dyke? Some of us have gained a lot of empowerment from those words. I get that they are still being used as slurs and that they are really harmful to a lot of people still but this then becomes a case of “please don’t use that term in reference to me” and that’s cool but [people] don’t get to police how I, or anyone else, chooses to label themselves (or their incarnations of fictional characters). Sure [one] can point out that it’s possibly problematic because of the negativity still associated with it but it’s not a simple issue and a “You’re a bad person for using it how dare you” isn’t gonna cut it...

And look, I get that [people in our communities are] upset about what [they] see as stereotyping identities but the fact of the matter is that there are people who relate to those portrayals and by saying that it’s wrong to be portraying characters that way [people] are invalidating their experiences the same way [they] are feeling [their] own invalidated. The solution here isn’t a reductive one, but additive. Taking away representation because [not everyone] relate[s] to it is harmful to those who do relate to it. It’s definitely important to point out where representation is missing and that the experience portrayed isn’t indicative of everyone with that identity but instead of tearing someone down for trying and, if the comments left on these stories is any indication, succeeding in representing the experience for at least some, maybe try the approach of either a) asking for a representation that differs from what was already written or b) write [one’s] own. We need to avoid building ourselves up by tearing others down.

Now as for [people’s] point of a writer changing a canon lesbian into another identity if they don’t claim that identity themselves. That’s a complicated one. On one hand Cap is essentially acting as a proxy for a lot of people who want to see their head canon in writing and for various reasons can’t write it themselves and I see nothing wrong with that. These people trust Cap with their vision and from what I’ve seen most appreciate the results.

Changing the identity of a marginalized character is a bit trickier for sure. On one hand yah there aren’t enough canon lesbians on tv or in media in general but I don’t think fan service fiction is necessarily the place to be policing that. If for no other reason than [one] run[s] the risk of trampling over someone’s attempt to learn more about themselves through exploring these identities in fiction. I’m not trans and I’m not nb but I did go through a period in my life where I was seriously questioning my gender identity and writing about it was one of the ways I explored that about myself.

I think maybe the line there is the same one we tread with cultural appropriation. Changing a canon lesbian into a straight woman is blatantly problematic but changing them into an identity that is even more marginalized and has even less representation is maybe not as much of an issue. It’s human nature to want to take the thing we can most relate to and then change it so it reflects our experiences even more, which is why [we] see the gay characters being head canoned into ace characters etc.

Which isn’t to say that it’s not also problematic but I think that more than being problematic it’s just scary to see already slim representation being appropriated no matter who is doing it. I would honestly rather give someone who has no representation a portion of mine, however small mine may be, than them not having any at all especially knowing how much harder they would have to fight to claw anything away from the ‘mainstream’ than I would.

So yah, it’s not clear cut and there is no easy answer to that one but I’m certainly falling on the side of letting the even more marginalized appropriating canon lesbian characters and that it’s acceptable for someone to write outside their own identity especially if it’s fan service.

As for the pulse fic? Cap said they realized it was problematic and removed it which I think shows a great deal of character. Their intent for writing it in the first place though? Not off base. It’s natural for us to process grief through fiction, we do it all the time. Using a traumatic event in a story isn’t necessarily trivializing it, in fact it cam be incredibly helpful and healing for many people, author and readers alike. I read the fic in question and I didn’t see anything that stood out as being disrespectful. Obviously [people] saw differently and that dichotomy is going to echo on a larger scale as well and I think that this is another instance I prefer to err on the side of 'if it helps people then it’s acceptable’ and for those who would be harmed by it them we take the same action we would in other situations where content can be harmful like content or trigger warnings.”

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Boys Will Be Boys, A Reactionary Post

She just wanted to be a girl.

Major Crimes, S2xE6: Episode Review What this episode is about: The Case: Lewis & Matt The father's speculation of the oddity of Michele's death Kris & Sharon Parents disagreeing about their children Michele's Parents Sharon & Jack What type of parent I am I'm a good parent I'm not a good parent Seeing their children in Michele Provenza Julio the childless father Andy + His Children Sharon + Rusty Comments Love is blind!

Sharon & Andy

The Case: Lewis & Matt

Can't say that Lewis didn't deserve that beat down. One major asshole kid who's had his head filled with complete bullshit. Most likely his parents. I always wonder why certain people like Lewis are so filled with hate towards people that are so different from them. 

Lewis, at 15 already has a really screwed up view of people. Whether this is because of his environment or because of something he's wrestling with and can't come to terms with. I'm not sure. Either way someone needs to straighten out the mess in his head. At the age of 15 he's already started forming opinions on people and social issues and the fact that he thinks it's okay to sexually assault another person and video tape it for the world is beyond messed up. 

The other thing about that beat down clearly shows that Matt has a violent temper and is more than capable of murdering his sister. He is filled with so much rage and it seems he has more in common with Lewis than he does his own sister. Matt felt that his parent's focus was all on Michele (although in different ways) that he decided to murder his own sister.

The father's speculation of the oddity of Michele's death Andy's the first one to point out that there's something odd about Michele's death. That there was some kind of care involved which means that it could have been someone that cared about her. As we come to find out who killed Michele, it's Mike that zero's in on exactly who did it. Because when there's care involved in a person's murder than it's a great place to start looking at the family.

What I find interesting about this scene is that it's the father's in the group, Andy, Mike and Provenza that bring speculation on the family and perhaps someone who secretly liked Michele. It's not hard to assume that all of them are thinking of their own children when it comes to children being murdered and how much that haunts them.

Kris & Sharon After Sharon tells Rusty and Kris that they found Michele. Kris admits to Rusty that her last boyfriend turned out to be gay. This was the line that made me think that Kris might have known that Rusty was gay. But after re-watching the scene leads me to believe that Kris was just identifying with Michele. 

It also occurred to me that while Kris seems to have a unconscious tendency to have gay boyfriends. Sharon also has a tendency to date alcoholics. What this says about them I'm not sure. For Sharon I do know that she seems to gravitate towards people who have problems  and does her best to help them.

How did I never notice Andy and Jack's exchange. This is the only friendly exchange between the two of them in the series ever. And I have always completely missed it!

Parents disagreeing about their children

Michele's Parents

The family bickers so much over the gender of Michele. The parents especially are completely split to the point where it clearly has broken down their marriage. John is sympathetic and is accepting of Michele's true identity.  Anne is unholy unsympathetic and doesn't understand anything that Michele is going through. Anne is a great reason why children with gender identity disorder don't admit it to their parents they were born the wrong gender sooner. Why so many of them commit suicide because of how unaccepting the world is. And more importantly their family.

Sharon & Jack I hesitate to call Jack Rusty's parent. Because he's not but at this time he is trying to insert himself into Sharon and Rusty's lives. Jack knows that Rusty is gay and clearly wants to push Rusty to admit it to the world and to himself. I like that Jack praises John for accepting Michele for who she really is and letting her live her life. That Jack recognizes that kids that repress themselves can often lead to suicide and he doesn't want that for Rusty. 

Where Jack is wrong in this is pushing Rusty when he's not ready to accept his true identity. To which Sharon tells this to him. Sharon knows that Rusty will come out on his own. As it's something that he's going to have to wrestle within himself on his own time. Especially with all of his trauma that he's had in his life. Because pushing someone when they are not ready can also lead to other emotional problems. 

The thing that Michele and Rusty both have going for them is a sympathetic parent who loves and accepts them for who they truly are. Unfortunately for Michele that did not extend to her mother and brother.

While, Jack wants Rusty to admit who he is. Jack is the one to run away from himself and his problems. Jack ran from his responsibilities, he abandoned his wife and children all the while banking on his wife greeting him with open arms whenever he decided to come back.

What type of parent I am

There have been some parallels between Sharon/Jack and John/Anne. Two sets of parents who have two different view points on their children and how to raise them. And even to the type of parent they may think they are. I thought it was interesting that while Anne is lying to herself about what type of parent she is, Jack is more than aware of what type of parent he is.

I am a good mother This woman is in some serious denial here. She's got one dead kid and the other one murdered his own sister! That Anne was not accepting of her daughter and that she protected her son who murdered her daughter.

I am not a good parent I've always wondered how much Jack is trying here. I get that this could be a second chance for him. He's got a kid here who has none of the history that he has with his Emily and Ricky. A blank slate if you will. But Sharon knows Jack really well and smells a bit of a rat. 

Ultimately I do think that Jack was trying and it was a lot easier for him as I had said because Rusty knows virtually nothing of Jack's shitty behavior. I do also think that as an addict, manipulation is a huge part of Jack and part of his interest in Rusty was him trying to manipulate himself back into Sharon's life. He knows Sharon, and he knows that the way to Sharon's heart his through her children.

Seeing their children in Michele

The case is so haunting for each of the squad members. Particularly with Sharon, Andy, Julio and Provenza. It's not hard to see that they see their children in Michele.

Provenza We really don't know much about Provenza’s children. I don't even know how many children he has. But what we do know about Provenza is that the guy has a bigger heart than he lets on. One thing that I do love is that he fights Emma tooth and nail on going to trial. Emma resists going to trial because she thinks the jury will put Michele on trial. Provenza may not understand what Michele is going through but what he does understand is that Michele is a murder victim who deserves justice. And never deserved to be killed for being different.

Julio the Childless Father Even though Julio has no children (at this point). It's been a thread throughout both shows that Julio is the father that never was. He connects so much with children in their cases, so it's not hard to see him having a tough time with this case. 

Nice seeing Julio shove Lewis up against the wall when he threw a disgusting slur at Rusty. I can't say that it was right but it was somewhat emotionally satisfying after what he did to Michele. Julio has no sympathy for Lewis when it comes to sending him off to juvie for sexual battery.

Lewis is so far out of it he doesn't even think he did anything wrong. And is in such disbelief when he realizes he's going to jail.

Andy + His Children When John insists on seeing Michele's body at the morgue it's Andy that takes John to the morgue. As a parent he tries his best to plead with John to not see Michele. From one parent to another Andy knows that seeing her body in that state will haunt John for the rest of his life. While Andy's children may not have died it's very clear that they are very much on his mind during this case. And what type of father he was in the past and the type of father that he wants to be.

It's interesting to me that Andy is the one to find the physical evidence in Michele's case. He finds her hair bow which points them in the direction of her body. Later he's the one to find the baseball bat that killed her.

Sharon + Rusty Sharon very clearly sees Rusty in Michele. It's interesting that Sharon asks Matt if called Michele's phone because he misses the sound of her voice. And later Sharon is seeing calling Michele's voicemail.

Love is Blind

Sharon & Jack

Who only eats one pancake? Uh, your wife. As much as Jack may know Sharon's moods and how she operates. This right here shows just how out of touch with her he really is. The fact that he doesn't know something as simple as how she likes her breakfast is so startling.

"Love looks not with the eyes but the mind. And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." Jack makes this remark after Kris is shown once again to be crushing hardcore on Rusty. This is a very big theme during this season. Love is blind. I also love how Jack, Julio and Andy are all featured in that scene. Julio with his obvious infatuation with Emma who doesn't even know who the hell he is. Kris with her obvious crush on Rusty, who is struggling with his own sexuality. Sharon and Jack who love each other but can't live with the other. Andy who can't admit his feelings for Sharon, just yet. 

One last date It never occurred to me until now that the cemetery date is the last time that Sharon and Jack have a date. Ever.

Sharon + Andy

Don't have much play in this episode but there are a few subtle things that I found interesting. This show is very very intentional in dialog, clothing choices and even blocking. Often times we see Andy standing right behind Sharon. Visually telling us once again that Andy supports Sharon.

This exchange. “Is it possible that she committed suicide?” “And then buried herself?” “Lawyers.” “Also, what about that huge crack in her skull that lead to her death, Rios?”

What I don't like: Showing Michele's dead body. By no means would I call MC a graphic show - in fact it's probably dead last in graphic violence for a crime drama that's currently on air. I'm torn on the fact that they showed Michele's dead body at the crime scene. It's always dicy to show a murdered kid on a show but on the other hand. I think maybe the reason why they didn't shy away from it was because they wanted to show that this was a murdered kid. My point being is that there are many people out there who consider a transgender person less than human.

What I like: I felt like this episode dealt with transgenderism and everyone's varing degrees of how they deal with it, much better than "Makeover". The last Closer-verse episode that dealt with transgenderism. If you haven't seen the episode, Provenza's old partner comes to testify in a trial for a murder suspect in one of her old cases. Provenza's old partner used to be known as George Andrews and had been talked about through out the show. After leaving the force, transitioned to a woman now known as Georgette Andrews.

"Makeover" is a Flynn & Provenza comic relief episode. It's an episode dealing with transgendrism in a humorous way. One that I don't think works. Most of the squad is so far out of the loop that they ask Georgette things like if she still has her penis. There's nothing wrong with being curious but WTF why would you ask someone that? Another huge issue I have with the episode is asking a person that has finally accepted their true identity to hide their gender for their case. In "Boys" we see Michele's entire family and how her transgenderism effected each and everyone one of them. Seeing what their empathy is like to their feelings of rage. The effects of the squad to those that don't see transgender individuals as people (Lewis). "Boys" treats the murder of Michele in a serious manner as well as her transgenderism. 

I think that this was an excellent and haunting episode. As I have mentioned before we get to see how the case and Michele effects each of the characters. How they connect to her. How all of the squad members who are parents Sharon, Andy, Provenza plus Julio (the childless father) see their children in Michele. How society views transgenderisim and how that effects transgender individuals.

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Erin

Where are you from? Pennsylvania

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? My mother is black. My father is half japanese half white (German, really). I find comfort in simply referring to myself as "blasian".

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? I've only known my mother's side of the family and so it feels more identifying as black. There are many mixed relatives on in my mother's family and it's been easier to find cousins to relate to. My parents divorced while i was a toddler. My father has never known any of his extended family. Throughout my life i have wanted to understand more about Japanese culture but hadn't had a chance until around 7 years ago when I met my grandmother, sumiko. I am also very light skinned for a mixed woman. Although I identify with being black, I know that other people have trouble understanding/accepting me that way.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? After meeting my japanese grandmother a few years ago, I can see how white washed she and my father became. My grandfather would not allow her to teach my father Japanese and insisted that they become immersed in American culture. After moving to the United States, my grandmother gradually lost contact with her family. My parents met in the military and decided to marry. My father's parents were adamantly opposed to my father marrying a black woman (they used obvious, horrible racial slurs when they talked about my mother). My father didn't speak to his parents again, even after he and my mother divorced.

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? I grew up with some of the common "mixed girl delimmas". As a kid I had a lot of trouble accepting my hair. I was always aware of the differences in how peers accepted and treated one another based off of race . The major challenge in navigating my identity is that I am a very light skinned mixed woman. I usually pass as hispanic and sometimes white. Occasionally other Asian people might comment about my asian decent. I am constantly aware that I may not be accepted by other black or mixed people and so I tend to keep my presence quiet. I am hurt that strangers have trouble recognizing that I am my mother's daughter - especially since we are close. I often hope and wonder if people recognize that I am mixed.

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? Usually strangers assume that I'm Hispanic and might greet me by saying something in Spanish. If someone questions what I am, I am happy to explain my ethnicity in detail. Interestingly, I find that white people might have a harder time understanding my ethnicity and are quick to make small jokes.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? I laugh at times when other mixed people refer to me as "lite brite". Once someone compared me to Latoya Jackson and I wasn't too impressed. I also had a coworker remark that she assumed I was a "REALLY tan white girl". When I was in school other girls would tease me about my hair and tell me to act my color.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? I'm mistaken for Hispanic almost daily. I have been asked if I'm of Middle Eastern decent on at least 2 occasions. Sometimes people assume that I'm white.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? I live in an area that is predominantly populated by white people. At times, I'll hear groups of white people speak poorly about people of color. I used to become very quiet/nervous when this happened and I'd find myself trying to behave acceptable enough to be invisible amongst them. I'm still shy, but I'm getting better at speaking up during these moments. When I'm around other black people I am more relaxed behaving as normal but still stay understated because I worry about being unacceptable.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? I appreciate the exploration of self and society that I've experienced. It is such a beautiful thing for anyone to be able to celebrate and admire different cultures. I also think that being mixed allows me to view life in different lenses (at times.... if I choose to). The existence of mixed people is a good shock for the world. A very personal gain for me is that I can help my daughter as she explores her ethnicity as I have walked the same path.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? As a young teenager I incorporated more white culture in my behaviors because I had a hard time finding how someone who looked like me fit in. As I matured I identifield a mixed. I am currently happy to have discovered that other blasians exist and I enjoy claiming that as my identity.

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

[lunarjustice]

so many people have moved from “cishet aces online have been acting homophobic” to “if youre ace youre not lgbtq” likeeee you. you. simply cannot generalize that much. you cant. there are many lgbtq ace/aro spectrum people & like...... Not Being SGA does not immediately mean theyre not a sexual minority........? of course if someone is not sga/trans they cant use the word queer & they cant discuss homophobia/transphobia or consider themselves on the same level but you cant. you cant just kick every ace person out on the curb like that. like? this is a more complex issue than just Us vs Them. obviously a lack of attraction is not the same thing as “different” attractions but lgbtqia+ has always been for minority gender & sexual identities

it doesnt make sense to me to exclude people on a minority identity spectrum, who often intersect with lgbtq, any more than it makes sense to create separate communities for mono & poly sexualities. being gay & being trans are very different concepts but were still in the same community because issues of sex & gender are so conflated. in the same way, the way you experience attraction or dont like.. is pretty connected to other sexual identities actually

i get that they arent all sga & they cant all call themselves queer but to just cut it down the middle like that leaves many people hanging between the two? you cant just hear “ace” & assume theyre also cishet. you guys have got to understand that human identity is more complex than that. i know more “true” lgbtq ace or aro people than cishet ace people, personally.  sga ace/aro people exist, & so do trans ace/aro people

im demisexual which is like.. Both sga & ‘technically’ ace. putting aside my gender identity, if you were to say that because demi is considered part of the ace spectrum im no longer lgbtq that would be straight up wrong. like im literally in a gay relationship. theres no way you can sit there & tell me because my sexuality falls on the ace spectrum that excludes me from being queer automatically. the two terms are not mutually exclusive, yet this whole argument is taking place upon the assumption that they are & cannot exist together

(i refuse to use the word allosexual because of how homophobic ace people have practically been using it as a slur but) people who arent on the ace spectrum seem to all be assuming “oh well lack of attraction is completely normal so they arent lgbtq.” like... no? thats the whole point, most people dont lack attraction. thats why.. its a minority identity. of course its not on the same level of homophobia, & people who cry “aphobia” are often homophobic as well as stupid, but they still are very much a sexual orientation minority. which is the globally accepted meaning of the lgbtqia+ community

giving cishet aces a place in the community or not is a point of contention which i understand both arguments for, & i am not trying to take a stand on cishet ace identity right now. i actually dont care all that much. i care because non-ace people have been taking the argument about 10 steps too far & saying that anyone who identifies as ace/aro cannot be in the community or be lgbtq+

none of this is an excuse for blatant homophobia & transphobia coming from cishet aces. that is unacceptable, & adds to the hatred & violence that sga & trans people face in their lives, both online & irl. but in the same way that transphobia from cis gay men does not define every gay person, it would be reckless to base your ace spectrum exclusion arguments on cishet aces alone. there are many more of us than just them, & many of us are also rightfully part of the lgbtq+ community. so the next time anyone goes to say that ace people arent lgbtq, i would ask that you take a moment to consider exactly who would be included under that label